#if i got diagnosed it would be used against me by the government if i were ever in a bad situation & it would automatically become my fault

[solitaryschizoid]

Why is it so hard for neurotypicals to understand that it's not safe to be formally diagnosed with a personality disorder when they literally paint us as abusers and evil monsters at every possible chance they get?

#not putting my life in danger cuz you think a psychiatrist is correct 100% of the time and never ableist or biased #if i got diagnosed it would be used against me by the government if i were ever in a bad situation & it would automatically become my fault #because of stigma and how yall think we are all evil #now we cant be honest because you mfs cant quit your ableism #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #npd safe #actually narcissistic #npd #narc abuse isn't real #npd abuse isnt real

[antiterf]

Okay as a disabled trans man, let me tell you how this sounds a lot better than it actually is.

The ADA is an amazing bill, it took a lot of work from disability activists to pass. It is still seen as a bit too progressive for a lot of corporate America because it requires businesses to accommodate their employees and to let disabled people use their services.

It is unique to disability because of accommodations. It needs to exist separately from other rights bills because disabled people cannot simply get equal access and have actual equality obtained. This bill is one of the few that focus on equity.

I have yet to be actually protected by the ADA as a disabled person. All of my progress and accommodations are from Section 504, which has a limited reach but is more enforced by the U.S. government.

Here are some reasons why this ruling has me incredibly conflicted:

Putting the protection under the diagnosis of gender dysphoria allows employers and other authority figures to require trans people to have that diagnosis to request "accommodations." Which will likely be seen as being able to change their name at work or school without a legal name change, go by pronouns other than their agab, use the correctly gendered spaces, etc. It puts the entire transgender identity into the hands of doctors.

Meaning that if a trans person wants to get basic respect, an employer can require them to get a doctors note for it. You need healthcare, time, and luck getting a doctor that will diagnose you if you are not already diagnosed.

This should be obvious but yeah, requesting accommodation gives employers the right to have some access to your medical records. Many people do not know that it's against the law for an employer to request medical records unrelated to disability, and employers will try to do that with trans people.

It has been stated by researchers that gender dysphoria should not be diagnosed unless specifically requested by the patient for health insurance coverage because of the stigma it causes and because how little health providers are informed on it.

This legal ruling for the United States puts all trans people under a medicalized view. It puts our rights not in our hands but in the hands of medical authority. A lot of trans people do not have a good fucking time at the doctors office despite the overwhelming support that transition should be seen as medically necessary.

It clarifies that gender dysphoria is seen as a mental disorder like other disabilities. If American society ran on the social model of disability, where disability is seen as a natural variation, this would be fine. Sadly, it runs on the medical model, where disability is seen as something to get fixed. This ruling implies that gender dysphoria is unnatural instead of a normal reaction to having a gender identity that does not match your birth-assigned one. This goes against the view that even medical practitioners take with gender dysphoria.

The ADA needs to be enforced by the individual in courts. If you are discriminated against, you need the time and money to go to court for years on something that is usually hard to prove. I got fired from a job for requesting accommodations but never did anything about it because even if I did have a case, not many lawyers would bother taking a reward from a minimum-wage job.

Small businesses (businesses with under 15 employees) do not need to abide by the ADA. At all. Under this, a small business denying trans people services is still completely legal.

"Analysis of cases decided under Title I of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), which addresses employment discrimination, reveals that defendants have consistently prevailed in well over 90% of cases since the ADA’s inception."

Luckily the amended ADA in 2008 allows for the protection of those who are perceived as disabled, so even without diagnosis, there can still be a case when it comes to discrimination from strangers.

Still, even though it's disability pride month, it is not good to be lumped in with us regarding rights because often it's "hey that's illegal" and nothing comes of it. Public attitudes influence how laws are enforced, and public attitudes on disability are abysmal.

I am not trying to play the oppression Olympics, I am trying to give a good overview. This can be an improvement for some trans people, and it especially helps with the constant healthcare bans we are seeing. I am incredibly worried about this, though, and I need to share why that is.

#disability law #supreme court #transgender rights #transgender news #supreme court ruling #disability rights #americans with disabilities act #ada #transgender #trans

[trans-wojak]

I just wanted to say I saw your response to the ask about Nex and I wanted to say that the way you explained your stance is very well thought out…

I hold the same beliefs as you, and I would like to not be on Anon but I fear if my friends found I hold these beliefs that they would call me transphobic and hate me (it is a kinda complicated situation…)

I just want to say I admire your bravery to speak your thoughts and opinions so openly and seemingly without fear of being rejected because of them. I hope one day to be able to have the confidence to speak my thoughts on subjects without fearing to be criticized.

-A shy anon 🪼

I have been criticised a lot for my stance because it creates conflict and many people just dislike conflict in general, which I understand. I just avoid trans spaces online and irl these cause they are predominantly filled with trenders and “non binary”. I prefer LGBT mixed spaces cause atleast those are not just a group made up of women who ID as non binary. Since it’s LGBT and not “trans”, there is less room for radical feminist man hating bullshit cause gay men will tell them to stfu.

Non binary in my experience and research is really just radical feminism lite, it reminds me of “political lesbians” who were straight femcels out of choice. All core beliefs of non binary activism heavily align with radical feminist theory more than it does with anything about trans rights. Contrary to popular belief, many radical feminists believe that medical transition is fine aslong as you retain that you’re a masculinised female or feminised male and don’t assert you are changing your sex or try to be in any of your group’s gendered spaces. Though, this treatment is mainly only directed at trans women - they rarely care about trans men sharing spaces with cis men cause they see it as “rebellious against the evil patriarchy” and benefiting.

This is why most “detrans” TERFs you find will have identified as non binary but then switched, usually after trying testosterone and ACTUALLY getting dysphoria. If you go to non binary subreddits, there’s countless posts about being scared to start T cause “I don’t want *insert literal male sexual characteristic*” or even worse “I don’t want to be perceived as a cis male”. The comments are filled with encouragement to start T anyway, saying you can microdose to control effects (a lie, it just makes it slower), suggesting taking certain hormone blockers to literally block male sexual characteristics but get very minimal ones that could be achieved through diet, exercise and voice training. Or worse, suggestions that laser hair removal isn’t even hard or expensive, it’ll work blah blah.

These retards then go on T, get side effects that cause actual dysphoria and then go full blown radical feminist.

At this point? I think anyone who identifies as non binary should be banned from transitioning medically. I don’t think you should qualify for a gender dysphoria diagnosis unless you want to be the opposite sex; not some magical androgynous being to get out of misogyny in society.

Though I do keep my beliefs to myself in many situations to avoid conflict but I also play heavily on my autism as an excuse for things, if the government and society wanna deem me as retarded then I’ll play into it. So, no I struggle with singular they cause I’m autistic. Honestly, I actually do struggle with singular they especially if they look entirely as their birth sex. I just don’t bother putting in effort cause I don’t care about how they feel. The worst woman I ever encountered who got mad at me for this was self diagnosed autistic, had a fucking child and was raising him “as non binary” so she got mad if you used he/him. I’m all for not raising kids with no gender roles or stereotypes but doing that is gonna fuck up the kid.

I also know a woman who started T cause she thinks she’s non binary and immediately stopped cause of body hair growing. Now she complains about her slightly deeper voice and says she wants to get pregnant again but worries that T hurt her. Oh she still retains she’s non binary tho, just that she likes living as a female “cause its way more comfortable” - yeah cause you’re a cis woman!

Anyway sorry for the rant, I’m glad that my opinions aren’t all seen as me being uwu disrespectful and mean cause my intent isn’t to be “mean” it’s to use critical thinking. If you want, you can privately DM me to discuss more on this so you don’t feel so alone in your convictions. It’s one of the reasons I have stopped showing my face online publicly cause trenders tried to doxx me, dangerous at times to not believe in non binary.

#thanks nonnie #thanks for the ask!

[khiphop-discussions]

Are any of these men still going to the military cause I could've sworn like half of them should've enlisted already but they out here having tours and doing god knows what? Did I miss anything?

Right???? So there's been lots of speculation over the last few years cause lots of people have been approaching military age.

Some people have mental health (and potentially physical health) issues that we don't know about (or at least not in the full depth). It depends on what the Korean government considers "debilitating". So those people don't have to go (People suspect Giriboy is in this category but I've also seen people say he actually does have to go. IDK I guess we'll just wait and see...but we've kinda been waiting for a LONG time already lol). People whose conditions aren't considered "debilitating" enough are allowed to do "non-active duty" work, like social work for example.

Based on recent events in KHH, some people are finding ways to dodge by making their money work for them. So Ravi and Nafla are the two most recent examples. But also, there's allegations that Gwangil Jo* did or is trying to dodge it as well.

*This was alleged during a diss song so take it with a grain of salt obviously

As for 1, there's actually quite a few people in KHH who are on medications that are related to mental health issues. I KNOW they have legal prescriptions which means they are currently, or at least at one point were, under a psychiatrists care. As for the "non-active duty" aspect, I'm not too sure how that works. I wonder if some people end up just working the equivalent of a regular 9-5 (or whatever times people work in Korea cause I know their work lives can sometimes be A LOT more hectic than ours in the US) and then go home? If that was the case, it might be easier for some people to just not announce their "enlistment" and just live their lives like a non-celebrity/entertainer. That would explain artists who just randomly go ghost for LONG periods of time. Again, I have NO clue how that really works though. This is just me thinking "out loud".

As for 2? I know it's illegal but I do NOT hold it against them. I DEFINITELY would be trying to dodge military service if it was me in that position LOL. Of course, the problem is (which I've seen some people highlighting when discussing the issue with Ravi) since some of these people are paying/bribing to get diagnosed with things they don't have, the evaluations are going to get even more strict and invasive which hurts people who are actually living with the conditions. Also, I would think some conditions (like mental health or one related to chronic pains, which are much harder to prove) might be re-evaluated as being "exempt" and even be taken off the list altogether. MC Mong some years ago had a dentist extract teeth unnecessarily in an attempt to dodge. He got caught as well. So again, people who genuinely had to have teeth removed are probably scrutinized more due to this.

The other problem is a class/money issue. Obviously only people with money are able to dodge in this way while the lower classes have no choice but to go.

#asks

[oldbutnotyetwise]

David and Goliath - The Remake

     I think most people are familiar with the story of David and Goliath, a story from the Book of Samuel in the Bible.  David is a young shepherd boy with the Israelites and Goliath was a giant fierce warrior with the Philistines.  For forty days Goliath came out twice a day and challenged the Israelites to sent out a single warrior to do battle with him.  Finally David accepts the challenge and faces off against Goliath.  David, the Shepherd boy kills him with a single stone from his slingshot. 

     David and Goliath is so famous that it now refers to just about any story where the underdog defeats the heavily favoured, normally bigger and more powerful opponent.  Everybody loves an underdog.

     I am quite literally, and figuratively David and I am fighting my own Goliath, the only difference is that my Goliath is going to be victorious over me.  No matter how hard I fight, I know the fight is lost before I start, but I fight anyways, I am fighting for my life.  You see my Goliath is ALS, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a rare incurable neurological disease.  It is characterized as a fatal type of motor neurone disease, it is the progressive degeneration of nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord.  To put it simply, the messages being sent from the brain are no longer reaching the muscles that they were being sent to.  Slowly parts of your body just stop working, you look at your leg or hand willing it to do something, and it just ignores you like an insolent child.  As well as slowly robbing you of the ability to function as an independent person, it also slowly keeps taking more and more of your dignity away from you, as time goes on the list of humiliating incidents gets longer.

     ALS is a pretty rare disease, if you get it it is like you won as lottery, just a lottery that you, nor anyone else wants to win.  It is estimated that 3,000 Canadians are living with ALS every year, 1,000 die every year, and 1,000 new cases are diagnosed.  Ten percent of people with ALS have Familial ALS, for the rest there is no how or why explanation for it.  There is no cure for ALS, just some very expensive medications that you are told slow the progression of the disease.  People like to ask are the medications working?  I don’t know, I have nothing to compare it with.  Would the disease be progressing faster if I didn’t take them, that’s what my Neurologist tells me.  All I know is that I am getting over three hundred thousand dollars worth of medication a year, thanks to my Benefit Plan and Government Subsidies.  Did I mention that my benefits run out when I turn 65, in another fifteen months or so.

     When you get ALS you enter a Game of Trust.  You hope that the Neurologists are truly doing what is best for you and not dishing out medications of companies that support their research.  You also hope that these very expensive medications are helping you more than they  are hurting you.  Right now the Blood Tests are telling us that my liver is very unhappy.  That is one of the side effects of one of the medications I am taking, the medication that is said to be the least effective of the three I am on.  So do we stop that medication and risk the ALS Progression speeding up while looking after my liver, or do I sacrifice a healthy liver to slow down the ALS?  I will let you know after my virtual appointment with my Neurologist next week.  

     So how did it happen?  One month I was snowshoeing long distances and the next month I tripped twice falling to the ground.  Not something that I normally did, and what I later learned was the start of “Drop Foot”.  Eventually I was stumbling and having more trouble and I went to my Doctor who thought I had a pinched nerve in my back and recommended Physiotherapy.  After a few months of getting worse I went back and told the doctor that this wasn’t a pinched nerve in my back.  He got me a rush appointment to see a Neurologist, a rush appointment was a month away.

     My wife was isolating as she had surgery the following week, but my daughter was visiting so she drove me the hour to the nearby town for my appointment.  Honestly I hadn’t given the appointment much thought until I was en route to it, that was when it entered my mind that I might be headed for some bad news.  My daughter dropped me off and I went in, he did a bunch of tests on me, making notes as he went on.  When he was finished the tests and still writing away I interrupted him and asked him, “Hey Doc, how scared should I be?”  He responded with “Are you here alone today?”, well I thought to myself this is about to take a really bad turn.  I explained that my daughter had driven me and was picking me up.  He went on to say that he really hated to do this, but he strongly believed I had ALS.  Now all I knew about ALS was it was one of “those” diseases and that getting it was not a good thing.  My head was still reeling when he followed that up with, People tend to die within 2 - 3 years of being diagnosed.

          Now I imagine that everyone who gets that kind of news has a different reaction.  My first thought is how do I tell my wife and my daughter, even more than the fear of dying is the overwhelming sadness of leaving them behind in this world while I go elsewhere ….or nowhere…. My second thought is damn it, I should have started taking my Canada Pension Plan at 60 instead of waiting until I was 65.  My third thought is that Tim McGraw song, Live Like You are Dying.  My fourth thought, was relief that the Canadian government had just recently passed M.A.I.D. legislation.  Medical Assistance in Dying would hopefully at least give me some control over how my story ends.

     What the First Neurologist believed was later confirmed through a bunch of tests at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto two months later.  Well it is now ten months after I first heard those ALS letters used to refer to me, I progressed from being unsteady on my feet, to using a cane,  to getting ankle foot orthotics, to using a walker, to now using a manual wheelchair.  I will be accepting delivery of an electric wheelchair in a few weeks.  

     I have sold my motorcycle, tractors, pickup truck, my woodworking tools and machinery, as well as all the farm equipment I had built up over the years.  My purchases now consist of medical assistive devices which help me manage my disability.  We are moving from the home that we love and had dreamed of for years, moving south to a Condo where family and friends can assist with my care.

     Yes you are right this is not how I pictured the final chapters of my life unfolding.  Yes there is struggle every day, but every day there is kindness and love shared by friends, family and sometimes strangers.  Just like nothing in life is all good, nothing in life is all bad either.

      So what are the Reviews for David and Goliath, The Remake?  Apparently it is a flop, nobody likes it.  Sad stories don’t often sell in Hollywood, people want Comedies, Action or Superhero movies.  Nobody wants a movie where the underdog dies in the end….but for now life goes on.  There will be no sequel.  

[arctic-hands]

I remember my first real protest was during the Occupy movement. I was seventeen and obvs couldn't go to New York even if I had the health for it, luckily I had a liberal, borderline leftist and poor father who was also fed up with all the economic bullshit who could drive me to the solidarity protest in Indianapolis.

I was so excited. I made a protest sign that was painted over an old Hillary '08 sign we still had, with some years-old wall paint from a can we had after my mom repainted the bathroom, and some of her Apple Barrel acrylics. It talked about how I was worried about my future as a poor and sick (and gay? I don't remember if I put that on the sign) young person. This was still when I would be still denied health insurance since I've been diagnosed sick since age 8, and we didn't know what would happen to my Medicaid when I became an adult the next year.

Knowing what was going down in Zuccotti Park, my father took me to Lowes to buy some (much too small) zip ties as a symbolic gesture should we be arrested. "I brought my own!" I would defiantly say when the police arrested me. My father made a sign too, but I don't remember what it said. Anyway, the first day of Occupy Indy, we got up early (a chore for me in those pre-coffee days) and loaded up our signs into the truck and started the hour and a half drive to Indianapolis. My father said we couldn't participate in the planned overnight campout in front of the governor's mansion because of my health problems, but that we'd go back to Indy every day. My mom didn't come. She was worried that, since she was a immigrant (from Europe), she would be in more legal trouble than us even if she did have a green card.

Anyway, Occupy Indy was a complete cluster fuck. It was–and I say this as a white person and that I am in no way No True Scotsman'ing to set myself apart from this–completely white led and led by middle class whites, mostly women, who had no real stakes in the game and were essentially LARPing social justice. We were divided into groups, all of them led by white women of varying stages of adulthood. Mine was led by a middle aged white woman. This was immediately after the Obama government drone-striked anwar al-awalki, an American terrorist part of al-qaeda. Yes he was a terrorist, but he was also an American citizen and at the time even American terrorists were supposed to have due process, unlike their foreign counterparts. The drone killing of al-awalki and his sixteen year old son were loudly decried in the U.S. and abroad as extrajudicial killings.

Anyway, an older, taller Black man, with a sparse grey beard, in our group started talking about this, how if the Obama administration and the U.S. government at large could kill an American citizen, no matter how terrible, without the American having any legal protection or chance to prove their innocence, what's to stop the American government from killing or arresting any citizen, home or abroad, with no due process? Indeed, not too long after this Obama signed the National Defence Authorization Act 2012, which allowed for the indefinite detention without due process for any American suspected of terrorism, with no legal protection and almost certainly a one-way ticket to Gitmo. To my knowledge, that policy is still in effect.

Anyway, our middle aged, middle class white woman "leader" literally told this Black man to shut up, that it wasn't part of the conversation or protest at large. I could tell he was angry, but what could a Black man, even an older Black man, do to go against a white woman who could very easily claim he was threatening her? I didn't understand that fully, it probably took me until the murder of Mike Brown to fully comprehend that notion, that a Black person could be taken down with no recourse just because a white person felt threatened by their presence. But still, I was angry. I had been listening and nodding along to the man because I, having been a news hound since I was 8, knew about the drone strike and the abhorrent politics and illegality of it. I wanted the man to talk about it, because what he said was a warning that indeed came true.

I didn't speak up. I like to think I would have, had my now-self been there instead of my timid seventeen year old self. But maybe I would still be just as likely to kowtow, however reluctantly, to the middle-class white person who was our self-proclaimed leader. The Black man, whose name I never knew, on top of being angry also looked as disappointed as I felt. He walked away from the group and I didn't see him again. I wish I had followed him, either to leave the protest in disgust too or to keep talking to him, but I did neither.

Anyway it just for worse from there. I don't even remember what the woman said after that, it was completely meaningless and hollow. Eventually after our group discussions (where the woman dominated the entire "discussion" and nobody else spoke out), we all formed a crowd again to hear a younger middle class white woman speak at the podium, where she thanked Indianapolis P.D. for keeping us safe and for keeping order. This was at the same time the Zuccotti Park protesters were being brutalized on the daily. I don't remember if Occupy U.C. Davis had already happened, where the officer john "Sargent Pepper" pike had brutally pepper sprayed in the faces a group of protesters who had been peacefully sitting down. I don't remember what this other white woman, a college student, said, it was just as meaningless as our group leader's talk.

I do remember at some point the crowd started to get a little riled up and started chanting at the police officers "protecting us", and the crowd was pushing me along and I was a bit scared, either of potential police brutality or a crowd crush. But then some older white man dressed straight out of the hippie movement started singing "Give Peace A Chance" and that was enough for the crowd to disperse.

Anyway my father and I were so disgusted by the "protest" that we left well before the march to the governor's mansion and stopped for a bite to eat at some restaurant I don't remember before making the drive home, and we didn't go back.

This regaling of the story isn't about Poor Timid White Person guilt, or as said above a No True Scotsman "I'm the real white ally" thing. I wanted to talk about it because I've seen a lot of discussions about white/upper class/upperclass white people co-opting protests in the name of a being allies (some of which I didn't reblog because they were image-heavy and difficult to caption), and it reminded me of this. Hell, even in Zuccotti Park itself, the encampment was divided through the middle within a week or two between the poor and disenfranchised who spent their last few dollars to get to New York City to support the movement they believed could make a change, and the middle and upperclass protesters who had less to lose when N.Y.P.D sent in N.Y.F.D to destroy the encampment and everyone's tents and possessions.

Anyway, I kept following Occupy Indy's facebook page for a while afterwards. Within a year it gear shifted to Tea Party claptrap before I unfollowed. Make of that as you will.

#long post #it also brings to mind Baltimore's response to the George Floyd protest #where white leaders of a march handed a Black protester who was spraypainting messages on a building to BALTIMORE P.D. #just five years after Freddie Gray was brutally murdered by police #occupy protests #occupy Indy #police brutality #for the tags #also anyone remember the milquetoast Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear?

[curator-on-ao3]

pikeuna prompt - "Just once."

Thank you so, so much for this excellent prompt, @fiadorable! 💕 I hope you like what I came up with. 🤞

For those who prefer to read on AO3:

For those who prefer to read here:

Note: Content warning for discussion about fear of loss of a loved one.

Hope

“Exploring is valuable work.” From his side of the table, Chris seems pensive, the food in front of him mostly untouched. “But it’s also good to be back in familiar space.”

“I understand. I feel pretty darn good just to be back in this familiar room.” Bob motions at their surroundings — the Enterprise captain’s quarters that were once his. “Though I had a roommate, if you recall. Sarah sends her best. She’s been swamped, as you can imagine.”

Sarah April, Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise when Bob was in command, now mostly tending to war wounded, a three-person dinner briefing cut down to two.

Bob finishes his second glass of wine, his meal half gone, Chris’ cooking as captain somehow even better than his cooking as XO.

“From the reports I’ve read, the war had most of the admiralty pretty worried.” Chris pours and red wine flows into Bob’s glass. “Did you ever lose hope?”

Familiar and unfamiliar, wine and sober truth, they all swirl together and Bob lowers his glass, his hand shaking only a little. “Just once. Sarah was on a medical frigate headed toward a battle site to render aid. I was at headquarters. A report came in that the Klingons had attacked the frigate and destroyed it. No survivors. Took two days for the report to be corrected to the loss of another frigate. Another three days for Sarah to be able to contact me. But in those two days when I thought my wife was dead, yeah, I lost hope. We think war is about governments and firepower, but it’s not. War is about people. Your people survive, you win the war. Your people don’t make it, and you lose the war. So for two days, I lost that war.”

On the other side of the table, Chris grips his own, mostly drained wine glass.

Regret pierces Bob’s chest. He shouldn’t have laid that story on Chris. Chris drinking and barely eating is usually a sign that Chris has something on his mind and here Bob went and got serious.

“What about you?” Bob intends this in a general sense, an inquiry into Chris’ sensibilities upon returning home after such a long mission in deep space.

But it sounds like a question about losing hope.

“Also just once. Getting the war reports was rough, don’t get me wrong. But the most scared I was out there was when some aliens kidnapped Number One and told us that she would be sacrificed to appease their ocean god. There had been a series of destructive tsunamis, and the aliens were desperate.” A soft exhale escapes from Chris. “We couldn’t get her out, but she ended up saving herself by proving to the aliens that their world’s tectonic plates could be monitored to predict tsunamis so inhabitants could evacuate the danger zones. She reported in more than twelve hours after the sacrifice was supposed to take place.”

A mission log had noted the incident, though not Chris’ thoughts about it. Bob’s stomach twists with irritation, though. To compare the potential loss of a first officer to the potential loss of his wife is insulting, and it’s not like Chris to miss the point so thoroughly.

But Chris’ gaze meets Bob’s and Bob’s stomach relaxes, becomes warm and full, because even though Sarah is the doctor in the family, it doesn’t take a medical degree to correctly diagnose a lovesick expression.

So Bob raises his wine glass for a toast. “To the people who give us hope — Sarah, Una — and to our luck in having them in our lives.”

Chris’ glass clinks against Bob’s, wine tips in inverse duplicate, and Chris finally picks up a fork and tucks into his dinner.

———

Send me an ask with character(s) and a prompt and I’ll do my best to write you a little something to give you warm fuzzies in your belly. ❤️

✨ All prompted Pikeuna ficlets are also available on AO3 as Constellations of Possibility. ✨

#questions prompt #i love asks #fanfic #star trek strange new worlds #star trek strange new worlds fanfic #pikeuna #pikeuna fanfic #christopher pike #robert april #captains and xos (or cmos) #tw discussion of potential loss #tw war mention #hope #fiadorable

[skottkornell]

Forward Yesterday

Trevor K sunderman

Back in the Stone Age, someone learned a magic trick to kill someone from a distance; the bow and arrow! This black magick was such a phenomenon; that enemies would stand down. Humans had decided that it wasn’t cool to thrash someone from existence with a blade. So they conspired together to outlaw such activities. The bow and arrow technology allowed for the same effect from a distance, because the outlaws would say “it wasn’t me bro; I was over here!” Eventually lawmen of the time got shot with one and then understood how unfair it was. In fact they said, “that’s messed up bro! That’s never happening again!” Then it was against the law. Moving forward; they now use satellites to murder. The need for the lawmen to evolve has never been greater. They use compromised big tech and government agents and available satellite and stingray technology to gang stalk a victim. They then prey on the “targeted individual” with a process similar to “MKULTRA” where the world seems to hate the targeted individual to create depression symptoms in the victim. After that; they “activate” or “turn on/turn out” the victim by utilizing computer-brain interface ESP (artificial synthetic telepathy)(Microwave Auditory Brain Beaming). This tech utilizes satellites such as “Satcom”, “NORAD”, “Starlink”, “Police STINGRAY” to carry out the task of the “artificial telepathy”. Once this is achieved, they overload the victim with schizophrenic symptoms, telling the victim to kill themselves. They sometimes tell the victim to kill others. Conspiracy says sometimes failed DARPA experiments lead to serial killers becoming the subject for police study and victimized as their liberties were stripped from them. This is very effective and it is the murder weapon of this generation. If the victim is strong enough; they head to the hospital to be diagnosed with schizophrenia and medicated with anti-depression medications and in some cases they survive and live on as a mental patient. Very few survive this state of targeting. This is the beginning of the end for victims because their opportunities cease to exist (as if the gang stalking didn’t already accomplish this). Most anti-depression medications only add to the suicidal symptoms and this is when the murderers are the most effective. They break them down to watch them die with satellite surveillance. Some believe the reason for this to be spiritual based. Some are researchers trying to follow a soul to the other side (decode the Bible). This is the problem today. As a gang stalking victim I have extensive experience in stopping this and can spot this crime from continents away. This is why the government needs to evolve and or hire me to teach them. Thank you for your consideration. I am a targeted individual survivor and I plan to further my studies and stop this menace worldwide! Amen

#crime/legal action #law and order svu #law enforcement #medical #tech #journal #SOS

[cherryelixxir]

I don't think I actually hope you get pregnant on one of your "safe" days, but I sure had the thought that you'd have a lot more sympathy towards the choices some people have to make. Sticking to safe days isn't reliable, some people are just get lucky. Putting aside that there's people with irregular menstrual cycles, or any number of other issues that can make it impossible to chart.

I literally have diagnosed PCOS, which means I have irregular cycles. I actually formed my opinion after becoming pregnant and needing an abortion. That is what lead me to take radical responsibility for my health and my uterus/womb. I went into my abortion extremely unsettled. I clearly would have the baby if I could, but I knew what struggles I would've had to endure if I did. This is why i said there needs to be more support from the government for women that do wish to have the child but cannot afford to etc. Completely grateful I had an option for a second chance. A second chance to live in a more unified manner with my body. I had many friends to talk to that had abortions before I went in, and they reassured me that id feel better after.

I can say that the whole experience is very traumatising. I felt all the changes within my body that occur when one becomes pregnant, and although it can be painful, for me, it was extremely liberating to see and feel what it is like to be a female, yet alone a mother.

I dont want any girl thinking that if they get pregnant, its no biggie as an abortion is available. Not everyone processes the same, and I feel when there are less INVASIVE and more NATURAL ways to manage contraception then theres really no use for an abortion other than girls that are victims to the actions of others. I know its hard to see my point of view but by no means am I saying anyone should be forced to have a child, I think we just need to keep in mind that there are so many other perspectives and experiences that show light to other ways of engaging in these matters.

For more perspective, I was on the pill for 6 years and came off 3 years ago. I got pregnant 8 months into being off the pill and 2 months into my PCOS diagnosis. I was still learning my new cycle off the pill as it was still regulating itself on-top of the underlying PCOS. I havent had any issues since. I use 3 different methods for identifying when im in ovulating and it seems to be working very well. I actually love that I can identify the signs. It helps me feel connected to my cycle. My cycle is actually the healthiest its ever been since I started having one. I literally tick nearly every sign of a healthy period now, which is insane to me, since I have PCOS. My PCOS was confirmed via ultrasound and bloodwork.

I feel like our education system for women needs to do more in properly educating females about their cycles. I went to an all girls catholic school and I literally wasn't taught that being fertile only occurred within a 5 day window, once a month. I feel this is why so many women do not have this understanding & connection to their cycle.

Overall, I am not against abortion, I just want more awareness on prevention like I mentioned above rather then girls thinking thats their first or best option, again, depending on the circumstance. I feel people would love to twist words to become more emotionally charged. If i didn't mention "depending on the circumstance" people literally think id apply that logic to someone thats been raped.

To whoever sent the message, thank you for your feeback <3 I hope my response is met with curiosity.

Kind regards

[darlingkara]

Nevermind the loose dirt. It's my 99 cent grocery store plant rescue that I am trying to save via better soil/re-potting and with bread ties, and my little tiny espresso. The stems were brown when I got it, but I don't think she is gonna make it. Taken a few days ago, but seemed like good photo for this post.

I woke up WAY too early. Again. I either stay awake for like 25 hours, and sleep 8, or the usual 16 hours and sleep about 4 hours. I have had 3 sleep lab tests done (albeit years and years ago) when I kept falling asleep. This was before I had this weird habit I have now. I slept normally back then. Diagnosis: Narcolepsy and non-24 hour sleep cycle (Circadian Rhythm Disorder?). I was a bit blown back, to be honest, especially by Narcolepsy. And guess what? The MD had to report it to the DMV, if I did not. If you have a driver's license, it is stated on it AND you have to be medicated while driving. The medicine was Dexedrine, or pretty much @mphetamine. Makes sense-- Can't be falling asleep while driving. I stayed awake, and my depression lifted. Any MD's reading this-- Please consider it for treatment resistant depression. I never felt hyper on it (I felt nothing, tbh) which would of course, lead me to being diagnosed with ADHD*.

So now, I am an unmedicated ADHD and sleep disorder gal of a mess, hahaha. But I am happy, or at least content. I think it has gotten better, or I have learned how to deal with it. I could not do now what I did in my unmedicated 20's-- Full time school, full time job and a kid. Nope. I have ZERO idea how I did it. The narcolepsy mostly went away. I WILL fall asleep at the theatre, so don't bother inviting me, especially in Plague Era that 99% of people refuse to admit still exists. And it is 50/50 in any dark situation, regardless of how well rested I am.

Luckily, I can now work when I want (other than 2 days a month), and do not have to drive. I do have to set an alarm for three days out of the week for class (it is used as a take a shower and get ready alert bc I keep waking up before it, lol), but luckily it isn't early. I LOVED driving, btw, and I loved cars. But as an American, what else are you supposed to do? Tangent, but... I would re-do SO much in the USA if given the chance. Like...Public transport and social housing. These are looked down upon in the US, which makes it seem SOOOOO odd to me now. Plus the whole gun thang. Sorry, but I will never change my mind. The 2nd Amendment was written for MUSKETS. We have drones now. If you feel the need to open carry a weapon of death to the grocery store, there is something wrong with you. Sorry, not sorry.

I am not exactly against hunting (if you do it for food, not sport). When I was about 12, we moved** to a mostly hillbilly area (not making fun of them-- I mostly like them dern hillbillies, and one of my BF'S was one since I was TWELVE... Though I have not been able to find her since 2021 or early 2022. Covid or went Trump, I do not know. I will continue my search. Her having the most generic name in the English speaking world does not help)). And well, my first look at hunting was not pretty. Dead deer legs, sticking out of truck beds. Like, everywhere. People told me this was normal. I literally vomited and remember thinking and saying, out loud at lunch, ''The fuck, this is NOT normal. Throw a TARP over it, for Christ's sake.''

*Btw, girls and women are SO good at hiding ADHD. We are typically not hyper or rowdy. If we are, it is within our safe spaces, with friends. If your sister/mom/gf/wife tends to forget things you have told her, seems unorganized or stressed over little things, gets bitchy before leaving the house with you, look into it first and do not get upset.

**I was not an Army Brat, but my family did move a lot (6 times, to different states), and it was not because of financial instability. Yes, my parents worked for the government, but not in any military way. So--I learned a new term-- TCK-- Third Culture Kid (also applies to adults). We are GREAT at fitting in anywhere, more empathetic, less racist (bc sometimes, even being white, people are racist if you are the minority. Trust me, I know personally, and it was horrible), tend to attend university more (not saying all should).. But of course there is a catch.

We probably have attachment disorders on all sides. I didn't get the overly attachment type, luckily. If anything, I need help attaching. And I do not have ''the itch'' to move. As an adult, I rented the perfect house for me and my minion at the time. Great school district, fenced in (by chicken wire on one side for most of the time) backyard, walkable to the downtown area in 3 mins, and I was allowed to plant a garden and paint, etc. I did have to mow the effing backyard when my weirdo neighbor went away every summer. Fucker never told me when he was leaving, but the grass length did. I lined the fences with gladiolas and ivy and had a gas BBQ and a nice table and umbrella. I would let my kitties out every now and then, but only when I was there-- they could escape if they wanted to. One was a serial killer, not even kidding. A Persian, fluffy, serial killer. I got minion*** a slip and slide, hahahaha... We threw some pretty good backyard parties. All of my neighbors were snobs. Like Harvard asshole snobbery. Anyway, I lived there the longest-- almost 11 years. My landlord wanted to sell it, and it was sold within about a month and a half. THAT SUCKED and was not expected... Thought I had about 5 or 6 months.

I had to go live with my mother, as she lived in the school district minion was in. Worst decision of my life. I love my mother, and she was really a great mother, but something went CRAZY in 2002 and again in 2014, that I am not yet capable of discussing on a public forum. Thinking of substack. Like a $4 a month thing. This is shit that horribly affected my life, and I needed therapy for-- as an adult. Shit that when I think about, even 8 years later, I still tear up. And I am NOT a cryer. As a mother, she was awesome! She told me to avoid beauty magazines, taught me how to plumb and do home repair, said chose your religion when you are an adult if you want to, and sooooo much more. My father was really great, as well. They stayed married for FAR too long. I think I was about 25 when they got divorced, but it was over my mom being selfish with her health insurance and cutting my dad off. He had a disabling heart attack when he was 42, and died in 2007. My mom cutting off his health insurance was fucking brutal.

The dude was ALWAYS on my side. So, I still say hello from time to time to my mother. Most importantly, I talk to minion, but he is busy working and crushing on some girl, his best friend's girl. They work together and he hates his job. He is waiting for her to give the okay for them to both leave and work somewhere else. I said DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE--- EVER!!! He sent me a pic of her and said that sometimes she drinks too much and gets sexual. I was like OMG.

She looks like me and that is what I did when I was younger. Freud, are you out there? It's me, Kara.

And I have lived here the second longest.

And I want to die and be buried here. Every year, there is a free concert, ranging from classical music to rock music, held at the cemetery.

5-30K people can come listen to music, drink a bit, dance, and have fun. That the cemetery I would like to be buried in.

If that is morbid to you, you are not invited. :)

***Minion is now an adult. I am not worried about his financial future (everyone born after The Boomers got fucked, let's be honest)because luckily, I am a Black Sheep, and he will get my inheritance. Good for him! Since I am 34-99 years old (haha), I will not tell you how old he is. Yes, I was married and he was planned. I was TOO young-- but when your spouse made $80k a year in the early 2000s, you figure, nice, I will just raise minion, and then finish school. That did not happen the way I had it planned. The ex husband is still wealthy and lucky, and it pisses me off. If you knew the full story, you would understand. Let's just say that one brutal character mentioned in today's blog had a lot to do with it, including my parent's divorce. I swear it is not some Jerry Springer shit, and they did NOT bang, and luckily, my father and I were together when we found ''the letters''. The Brutal one would end up doing MUCH worse things than having feelings for her daughter's husband, and yeah-- it is personal.

Life is 50% unplannable. I do believe in luck, and I do believe in you get what you give, although I LOATHE woo woo pseudoscience bullshit.

I will NOT be camming tonight. My theatre thing begins tonight. It is only once a month. Last week, I couldn't have a schedule because I still have periods, which are very predictable, but this every 18 days shit is a bit new. Usually its every 25 days, abnormal is under 23 days in between periods. Went to the dr, had hormone levels taken. Good news-- I am NOT an alien. Bad news is that the tests prove pretty much nothing. I am having about 5 more periods a year than normal-- so about half the year. Great. Of course I now have to a dailytake high-ish dose iron supplements. I believe I have peri or pre-menopause which literally NO ONE talks about, yet it affects HALF of the population. And pre or peri-menopause is WORSE than menopause. Menopause is easy street, so I have learned. Some days I am nice and patient, other days I want to bite your face off. Sometimes I am horny, sometimes I seem asexual. When my roommate/ex bf of like 12 years (No, we do not bang and maybe once a month I fall asleep in his room watching a movie), DARES to shut MY room's window or turn off MY fan, especially if I am sleeping and wake up hot, I am literally thinking:

''I could kill you, and if half the jurors were women 35+, it would be an excusable homicide.'' I am not a violent person at all, btw, in any way or sense. I am learning as I go along. Surprise, surprise, there is not a whole lot of research on it. Reddit's Menopause has been a Godsend.

In the one racist area I lived in, I was ''jumped'' by 3 or 4 girls who basically PLAN attacked me, outta the blue. I won. All almost 5 feet of me. I learned about adrenaline and JFC, I get strong and mean if I think I am gonna die. I kicked dirt into their eyes and kicked their throats. How fucked up is that? I was maybe 11 years old. I did not and do not know how to fight. Is is something instinctual? I have no idea and too many research topics as it is. All I knew was that there were three of them, one of me, and they were larger and taller than I was.

Anyway, off to shower and go to my classes. Idk if I will cam after the theatre or not.

And you would not believe what I found when I took out the garbage, shortly after writing this (within the hour). It is not a popular name here, afaik. I will post it on Twitter @DarlingKara.

#tck #narcissistic abuse #fights #jerry springer #e girl #perimenopause #amy

[america8]

My thoughts…

This is the #longcovid that I got because I was 1 of the 1st people in #Pinal-County, #Arizona, #USA to have been diagnosed with #COVID19 back in ‘2019! The #doctor thought it was #ValleyFever (yet that would have made the 5th time contacting that from soil in 15 yrs) & treated it differently then what the whole world knew Covid needed back then! The strange part is people don’t usually contact Valley Fever that many times unless it is a VERY RARE strain. Then when medical treatment made my health worse I was told “…just continue treatment as we think it has to get worse before it gets better…” by my pulmonologist/ oncologist.

Since December 2019, I have been diagnosed with “chronic post Covid disease”. The sad part is I got it from my partner at time (who I have since left & #divorced for #domestic #violence & #stalking reasons), who was the carrier when they contracted it (symptom free) from their coworker that had just been to #Mexico City to visit family for #DayOfTheDead (October 30-31 ‘2019). 7-10days after returning the coworker, his wife, & kids all fell ill & almost died! The Phoenix Hospital they went to in Arizona thought it was something else, then found on a post testing that also lead to relapse for them that it was in-fact covid. My Ex did contact COVID, but thought it was “…just a relapse of chrones disease flaring up…” as the doctor told them at time.

Now, my heart, lungs, liver, brain, digestive system, thyroid & immune system have been compromised and permanently damaged by this “… #China #Virus …” and I am so pissed that #who & #cdc knew about the WHOLE WORLDWIDE Chemical Weapons Projects & Competition in developing this greatest weapon so far!

They can argue that they didn’t know, as it accidentally spread, but as a Military Brat I know the truth when I see coverup’s! I was born overseas and came here on a Visa myself! I have been diagnosed with other medical issues related to chemical exposure from my 16+ years growing up active duty! What the Government & VA do not tell you is that’s “the price you pay for freedom” the CIA & FBI teaches military service members & their dependents! “Suck It Up, BUTTERCUP!” Was what I heard from everyone growing up.

So, I learned to deny myself & the pain, seizures, & other issues I had but the military doctors told me that I “was just a brat & wanted attention” and the brainwashing of that caused permanent damage as They Had Evidence of me having a swelled heart & brain issue since birth & never disclosed it to my mom! That swelling was treated by asthma medication which thus caused lung damage & further health issues to heart, lung, kidneys, liver, and joints! Now it’s proven I was exposed to #Monsanto #Agent #Orange as it was used at full strength on the military bases we were stationed at!

Although I can’t file suit against Monsanto or the USA Government because they are immune to lawsuits it doesn’t stop me from speaking the truth for myself & others! I was born at the end of Vietnam and thus the father knew my biological father was exposed to #AgentOrange himself too! The military had a surplus of #AG & “…used it for all the land on certain bases to keep it clear for surveillance purposes…” According to the Pentagon Reports & other agencies the USA Government was “keeping us safe” even though they knew it contained health issues & was seen as a major health concern.

#COVID #NEWS #MEDICAL #Doctor #Health #chronic #long #lung #covidー19 #long covid #longterm #depression #anxiety #liver #digestive #GERD #acid reflux

[nerdygaymormon]

i know you already answered an ask like this but please tell me that i’m not broken. i was in institute today and my teacher basically implied everyone was fine with their sexual orientations (straight) until more information about it became available, and that if no body talked about it no one would be gay

hahaha, what a load of crock. Straight people tell themselves all sorts of crazy things. “Everyone was straight and fine with it until people started talking about other options.” No, this was never true. People couldn't talk about it and had to hide this part of themselves.

There were severe consequences for other people finding out you're queer. This is why your Institute Teacher thinks there were no gay or trans people in the past, we had to hide and go along in order to get along.

I'm 50 years old. When I was born, in the United States gay people were seen as sexual deviants and perverts. Many states and cities had laws against same-sex couples dancing, against wearing clothes that don't match your gender. If it was found out you were gay, you likely would lose your job, be kicked out of your apartment, and often your family would abandon you. Most civic organizations would ban you, including the PTA and the Boy Scouts. Being gay was classified as a mental illness and the US government banned gays from working for the government or any company that does business with the government. Sodomy, aka gay sex, was illegal in most states. Gay couples couldn't get married. Basically being gay was illegal, considered immoral, and diagnosed as a sickness.

Just because queer people don't fit with your Institute teacher's vision of what the world should be, it doesn't mean we haven't existed.

----------------

Same-sex behavior (courtship, sexual, pair-bonding, and parental activities) has been documented in over 450 species of animals worldwide. This is normal. Only humans, including your Institute teacher, think such behavior is against nature, but clearly it isn't. We aren't the ones who are broken, your Institute teacher is the one engaged in a willful self deception against logic and the reality of the world.

----------------

In spite of all the terrible consequences, many queer people have been standing up for themselves and trying to change opinions about queer people and fight for legal protections.

Here's a gay pioneer you can be proud of, Leonard Matlovich. He was a Vietnam War veteran, recipient of the Purple Heart and the Bronze Star. He came out of the closet and fought to be able to stay in the US Air Force. He became the 2nd most well-known gay person in America in the 1970's, after only Harvey Milk.

When he appeared on the cover of Time magazine in 1975, Matlovich became the first openly gay person to appear on the cover of a U.S. newsmagazine.

Matlovich was also a Mormon and shortly after appearing on Time magazine, he was excommunicated. Somehow that wasn't enough, he got excommunicated a second time in 1979.

He spoke around the country and was an advocate for AIDs/HIV patients from the start of the outbreak in the 70s. He contracted the virus in 1986 and died 2 years later at age 44.

Leonard designed his tombstone. It purposefully doesn't list his name because he wanted it to be a memorial for all gay veterans. Every year on Veteran Day, LGBTQ military veterans gather around his grave in Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. to remember and honor all those LGBTQ patriots who paved the way for them.

This is a hero, and someone the church found too frightening and controversial to let be a member. He and others helped pave the way for what changes that have happened in the Church, and I can't help but expect more change will come as the institution comes to grips with understanding that being queer isn't a choice, it isn't 'fixable', and God loves us and meant for us to experience life this way.

#queerstake #leonard p. matlovich

[therealvinelle]

I agree that Aro definitely is not straight, but if he is gay and not bi, why window shop for a wife? If he wanted a partner for some reason, why not find a male one? It was a different era, yes, but are vampires really homophobic?

So, for this meta, we’ll have to get historical. Before we do, keep in mind that while I know Ancient Greece better than most, having studied it (introductory level classes only, mind), I don’t know it well enough to be any kind of authority on the matter. History, more than any other discipline I can think of, is not respected as an academic field, and people with poor to no understanding of historical hermeneutics will make very bold assumptions that they then have too poor understanding of history to realize are bullshit. This is a disclaimer because I don’t want to join in on the chorus of authoritative-sounding people on the internet with no verifiable credentials who spout things about history that are then taken to be gospel truth by readers because the author made it sound good.

More, I say this because your question is asking me to explain the morality and social norms surrounding a character from 14th century BC Greece. And this man would not, for the record have been Ancient Greek, he would have been Mycenaean Greek. Very quick history lesson: Mycenaean Greece was a flourishing society that suffered a downfall, Greek civilization fell into its very own dark ages, until around 800 BC when Greeks began forming what would become the Ancient Greece we know and love. This in turn means that I can’t very well read up on the marital and sexual norms of Ancient Greece when I’m researching for Aro, because he was five hundred years old already when Ancient Greece became a thing.

And your question concerns cultural history. And for that we’re going to have to look at how we know the things we know about history. How history is studied.

Historians have two kinds of sources: archeological findings and written records. (I’m aware that oral tradition, like the one carried by the Aborigine people, isn’t technically one of these, but to my understanding it’ll be treated to similar analysis as written records, which leaves us with the two types of sources standing strong.) These sources are analyzed, and we apply various theories and models onto them to make sense of the context they were written in. The more sources we have, the more we can refine or eliminate these theories or models.

More, history is an ever evolving field. There are movements and schools of thought that influence how history is written (marxism in history, that is, history as a class struggle, was heavy in the 60′s and I think until the 80′s), which means that how a certain culture will be perceived today is not the way it was perceived a few decades ago, nor will it be perceived the same way a few decades in the future.

You see why I am daunted by you asking me to give you an answer about sexual and marital norms for a guy who lived 3000 years ago, and I hope you’ll understand why I feel this word vomit is necessary.

Now, the danger with Mycenaean Greece is that it’s a society it’s easy to feel we know a lot about, because it was the precursor to Ancient Greece, and we know a lot about the latter. But, first of, the reason why we know as much as we do about the Ancient Greeks is the Romans. The Greeks wrote about their history, their philosophy, their government, and they wrote plays and told stories. However, that was two thousand years ago and their writings would have been lost to the sands of time if the Romans hadn’t idolized and sought to emulate their society. This meant preserving their written records. This tradition was carried on by the Christians, in part because Hellenistic philosophy was incorporated into Christian philosophy. We have neo-platonism to thank for Christian asceticism, the “mind over matter” cornerstone.

What I’m getting at with all of this is that we know the insane amount about Ancient Greece that we do because of some very unique circumstances, and so we can make very sophisticated theories about what the Hellenistic world was like. It’s still detective work, but not Pepe Silvia type of detective work. This is not the case for Mycenaean Greece. We know a comparative lot about Mycenaean Greece, considering how long ago it was, but there is very much we don’t know.

With Mycenaean Greece, we are dealing with a lot more uncertainty. We haven’t deciphered one of their two writing styles, and a lot of the text we do have is very fragmentary. Coming up with detailed societal models for Mycenaean Greece, and for the 14th century BC specifically, is... well I don’t know enough about what this society left behind to know what historians have to work with, but I imagine they have their work cut out.

More, I haven’t studied this at all, which means that any attempt on my end to research this would be stumbling around in the dark.

One example: the Illiad and the Odyssey, while composed around the 8th century BC, were set in the early 12th century BC, which is nearly Aro’s time period. The Illiad depicts a homoerotic relationship between Patroclus and Achilles, and both works depict a lot of matrimonies, so I wish I could use it as a source. However, not only would this time gap alone make these sources questionable, but there’s also the matter of the Illiad and the Odyssey being transmitted orally, from bard to bard. Changes were made over the years. For example, the technology described in the Illiad is from several eras, as the warriors will be using bronze weaponry in one book and then switch to iron in the next. This game of telephone is what happens when a story is transmitted orally from person to person. So, while it’s tempting to use these works as a sort of reference point, the possibility, likelihood even, that the bards made adjustments to keep the old story entertaining for their contemporary audience is strong.

For this reason, I can’t give you any kind of historically correct analysis on what the marital or sexual mores would have been like in Aro’s time. Even if the knowledge is out there, I don’t have it.

But I can say this, spouses have for the longest time been partners. Men and women got married, even in the gay, gay, Ancient Greece, not just to have children but because they complemented each other, they were partners. Men needs wives, and women needs husbands. And a partner was canonically exactly what Aro was looking for, feelings had nothing to do with it:

After Caius and Marcus had found their romantic attachments, Aro decided to find his own, although rather than finding his other half in another vampire Aro decided to create his own instead. Aro had a certain type of woman in mind and he found what he was looking for in Sulpicia. He successfully courted her and she came to fall in love with him.

As for vampires being homophobic, I think that is for another post about what culture they bring with them into their new life. But to be brief I’ll say that while the individual vampire can be homophobic, there can be no homophobia at an institutional level because vampires have no institutions. And it’s the institutional homophobia that gets ya. It’s what the whole fight for gay rights has been about: secure legislation against discrimination and that protects gay people. (The right to marry and protection from employees firing LGBT employees comes to mind as examples of this.)

So, no one could force Aro to marry a woman. 

And I’d go into a rant here about how the prospect of gay marriage, of even identifying as homosexual (the labels homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual are very new and, to my recollection, were born off of the Western psychiatric discipline as men who slept with other men were diagnosed with homosexuality. I imagine a man from the Antiquity would be confused at the notion that just because he likes to sleep with dudes he shouldn’t get married to a woman), was unthinkable up until very recently, but I just made this obscenely long rant about how I can’t really make these kinds of guesses, so I’m not gonna.

I think being married to a woman and then banging hot dudes who came along suited Aro just fine.

Also, I can’t believe I’m doing this, but - I’m going to encourage history asks. Because this fandom has a bit of a history problem, as a lot of the characters are from different time periods and many feel unsatisfied with the way Meyer handled that. I am by no means a historian, but I know several of the historical periods the characters of Twilight are from well enough to make educated guesses.

So, hit me with your worst.

#WHEW #aro #sulpicia #aro/sulpicia #history #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #twilight #this is very long and I'm tired so I didn't proofread #GERONIMO as they say #hope there are no embarrassing mistakes #also yes I know I just made a pretentious ass of myself #but i'm writing twilight meta on tumblr so i left my dignity behind long ago #doktrajediscovery #ask

[wtfevenismypage]

Observer, Not Profiler

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Summary: You’re similar to a profiler, but you can tell almost anything about a person just from a single glance. What they had for dinner, if they took a bath or shower, their name, favorite color, if they lie, even if they’re good in bed. You’ve been running from the government ever since you got caught hacking into their systems and since then you have been diagnosed with Extreme anxiety, anxious tics, and paranoia. But now the BAU need you’re help in Identifying killers.

Warnings: panic attacks, Strong language, mentions of murder and rape.4

A/N: I have no fucking clue what I’m talking about when it comes to the fake profiling, if it’s possible, or if trauma is how it’s caused, plus I’m exhausted so just roll with it please

“We have less than two days to find this guy before he kills again. What the hell are wee gonna do?”

Everyone sat in silence, contemplating and thinking about Derek Morgan’s words.

Sighs are heard all around before A youthful genius speaks.

“What if we brought someone else in? A-another profiler? Hotch, what about that girl from a few years ago, her friends said she could tell anything about anyone from a single glance? What if we brought her in?”

Aaron Hotchner rushes to his computer, frantically typing things into the screen and looks at the rest of his team.

“That should fish her out.”

Running from the government was difficult. You couldn't be in one place for more than a year, Never make friends, stay quiet, change your numbers and any personal information every six months, and if you see the police... Run.

You’ve lived like this for six years, ever since you were fifteen.

The reason you’re running is simple, yet hilarious.

Your best friend told you to hack into the governments to see if birds really do spy on us for the government. Of course you never found an answer because they already kicked you out before getting to it.

Then they came for you, at least ten swat cops raided your house, held a gun to your head as they searched the rooms.

When a group of profilers came in, and watched as you told them what they ate for lunch the day before, when they showered last, when the last time they had sex was, and shocked faces spread all around as you did the same with the swat cops, even though they were covered.

You’re currently watching you’re small T.V in horror, watching the news come unraveled.

“This woman has brutally murdered thirteen people, please, if you know anything, don’t hesitate to call us.”

Your face was plastered all over the news, every channel had your face on it.

You’ve never killed a single person. The closest you ever got was kicking a CIA agent in the groin and banging his head against your knee, but that hurt you more than it hurt him.

The woman speaking was a blonde woman with blue eyes, she has a petite stature that tells a lot more than any normal human would think.

Jennifer.

That had to be her name. She was an interrogator when you were originally taken in. 

Her face as you told everyone about the last time she had sex was hilarious. 

It was even better when it was confirmed to be true.

You frantically run around, grabbing a bag of runaway essentials and an apple before rushing out of your apartment and running as fast as possible, trying to get as far away as possible from this old life.

The street was littered with cops, they were practically on every street corner, talking to everyone they can see.

Panic and stress fill your senses quickly, causing you to break into a run down an alley way.

Yet of course, a few cops see you and chase you, because they’re cops and they see everything apparently.

You keep running, even when you feel like you can’t run anymore you keep running because if you get caught you’ll see them again, you know you will.

You’ll see those profilers.

They’re still chasing, but you start to slow down, unable to speed your slow jog to a run.

One of the cops tackle you to the ground, pinning your arms behind your back before shouting a slur of words.

But you can’t hear anything over the ringing in your ears.

you were caught. They think you murdered someone. Multiple people even.

A single tear rolls down your face as they cuff you, lifting you to your feet and dragging you away.

The team stared at you from behind the two-way mirror, watching as you twiddle your thumbs and stare confused as your head jerks to the side quickly.

“What’s up with her head?”

“Anxious Ticking, she was diagnosed with extreme anxiety and minor Paranoia soon after being caught. Anxious ticking is a system of these. she’s been looking over her shoulders for six years, so it’s no wonder she has these symptoms.”

Spencer answer’s Morgan’s question while looking at the young girl.

He was so intrigued by you. Another child genius like himself, hacking into the government at 15, and you could tell anything about anyone just by looking at them, yet you didn't like being called a profiler.

He was truly puzzled by you.

Your head tics to the side again, and you feel a red heat smack itself on your cheeks.

You knew they were watching you from behind the mirror, you just didn't know who they were. And ticking was always your biggest insecurity. You hated doing it in front of other people.

The door clicks open and you jump in your seat. You look up to see who it is.

A dark man with thick black eyebrows, he has a little beard and mustache, just covering his chin and upper lip, his build is lean and muscly, but not super muscly.

“Derek. Y-Your name is Derek.”

He nods with a kind smile, sitting down in front of you.

“Your name is Y/n.”

You nod and look down at your wrists, which are chained together with handcuffs.

“I didn’t... I didn’t hurt anyone...”

You whisper out with a shaky breath and tears in your eyes.

He nods knowingly, leaning back on the chair he’s in.

“We know you didn’t. We had to get you out of hiding somehow. This was the only way.”

You stare at him for a long time, shock moving in with the fear in your stomach.

“W-why? So th-that you could a-arrest me for hacking into the- the gov-government?” 

He looked at you, concern shielded by confusion as he stands, walking around you to the coffee machine. Your head swivels around, following his every move  with your eyes, making sure he doesn't hurt you.

The rest of the team watches as Morgan speaks, asking you about your age.

“tw-twenty one. I’m... I’m twenty one.”

They were in awe as they watched your eyes study Morgan, you travel all over his body.

“Y-you’re thirty three...You’re name is D-Derek and you’re thirty... three.”

“How the hell does she do that?”

Everyone looked at Reid, hoping for an explanation.

“It could be an effect of a traumatic childhood, often times children learn to just pick up behaviors but there have been a few very rare cases where they learn to pick up more than that. It’s dependent on their intelligence and education though. I’ve never seen a case like this though. It isn’t just looking and getting their name magically, it’s studying everything and narrowing it down.”

“Cool party trick. But shouldn't we be asking about how she hacked into the government at 15?”

“Well for one, she’s terrified right now, she wouldn’t tell us if we asked her. Morgan’s trying to get her to calm down right now. And two, if she was skilled enough, she could hack into the government. The techies of the government should have caught her as soon as she made her first attempt. I don’t understand how she made it through all of the firewalls and blocks.”

The team continued to watch as your wrists painfully slam together twice, causing the coffee cup in your hand to splash onto your lap. An embarrassed blush crawls up your neck as you apologize three times.

 Reid writes this down under your tics. So far he had head-jerking and wrist bumping.

“She doesn’t like when people watch her ticking. To her it’s embarrassing. Reassure her that it’s alright, chances are someone or multiple people have put her down about this.”

Spencer informs Morgan through the ear piece while you rub at the now warm spots on your legs.

“It’s alright, don’t apologize for it, it’s a natural instinct, we’ve seen it before.”

You turn to the two way mirror, once again made aware of the other people watching you.

“I... Ho-how many people are... Wa-watching?”

You ask, voice shaking in a low whisper that you only wanted him to hear.

“There’s six people out there, the rest of my team. You saw three of us six years ago, but two people since then have resigned.”

You nod at his words, feeling tiny again as your wrists slam together again.

There was Jason, he seemed scary, a serious look was on his face but his words were kind, he tried to calm you down.

Next was Derek, He was emotionally charged, he yelled at you every time you moved, but it was only in fear that you were going to hurt anyone else.

Then Elle. She was so kind despite carrying a gun, she held a normal conversation with you as if you were a scared girl, and not a criminal like everyone else treated you.

Next was Aaron, He scared you the most. he held a gun to you the entire time and spoke to you like you were scum, he treated you with confusion and sent tears to your eyes.

Lastly was the nameless genius. You never were able to figure out his name, you knew that he was a genius as you were, but you couldn’t tell a single thing about him.

“Is Elle there? can I talk to her?”

You speak, a small smile creeping onto your face. He chuckles and smiles, leaning forward in his chair.

“Unfortunately Agent Greenaway has resigned.”

The smile falls as you begin twiddling your thumbs again.

“W... What about the long haired man? He was very t-tall, and skinn-skinny... He-he’s smart... very smart... Am I... Am I able to talk to him?”

Derek thinks for a moment before standing up.

“let me check with the team.”

He walks away, through the door and leaving you alone in the room.

“She wants to talk with Reid.”

Morgan states as he walks into the room with the rest of his team, looking at Reid who looks pretty terrified.

“She doesn’t know his name.”

“Well it has been six years.”

“She has an eidetic memory. And it would be difficult for anyone to forget any little detail from the day she started running.”

“So should we send Reid in?”

“It’s up to you Reid. She doesn’t prove to be a threat.”

Reid stands up and looks at the girl with tears in her eyes one last time before slowly stepping into the room.

You jump at least three feat when the door clicks open, staring at the new man with wide eyes. He apologizes and sits down in front of you.

“Yo-your name is... It’s... I can’t... I can’t read you. I can’t ev-even tell how old you are...”

His eyes widen as he smiles a little bit, trying to calm your nerves.

“I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.”

You smile a little at finally discovering his name, you’ve been thinking about it ever since you got away.

“Dr. Spencer Reid.”

The tears that cloud your vision finally fall, dripping onto the table.

“I’m sorry. I-I don’t know why I’m cry-crying...”

You stutter out, looking down to wipe your tears away.

“No need to apologize, it’s understandable considering the amount of stress you’re receiving right now.”

“Um... Am I... Am I going to jail?”

He doesn’t answer for a moment, thinking about what to say before scratching his head.”

“No I don’t believe so, There was no big harm done with the hacking, so The worst you’ll have to deal with is quite a bit of questioning. No, what we brought you in for is help. We understand you have the ability to profile people with a single loo-”

“No.”

You speak in a loud tone which causes Reid to jump a little, and the rest of the team is put on edge at your sudden tone.

“I’m not... I’m not a pro- a profi... I’m not one of you.”

You curse yourself in your head for yelling, you really didn’t want any of this attention.

“I understand that. I’m sorry, You are able to identify anything about a person by just looking at them, and we need your help with that.”

You look at the mirror, staring at your own reflection for a while before asking a question.

“I don’t have a choice do I?”

His lips stretch into a thin line, his cheeks puffing out where his lips end, and he shakes his head.

“Of course you have a choice. You can say no, and you’ll be free to live your life, or you can help us, we’ll pay you a respectable amount, make sure you have a place to stay for a few months, and make sure you can see your friends again.”

Tears flowed down your face freely when he said you could see your friends. Your friends were your entire life before this. After your parents kicked you out for being an athiest, you lived with your best friend since the age of 13.

“I... I’ll help... I’ll help.”

He genuinely smiles, holding his hand out with a small item in his hands.

“Go ahead and unchain yourself, when you’re ready the rest of the team and I are right outside and we’ll brief you.”

He drops the key in front of you before standing, awkwardly waving, and then he walks out leaving you alone in the room.

You try to pick the key up, but seeing as both hands are chained underneath the table, so you sit awkwardly, your gaze switching between your hands, the key and the door, but you can’t call out for Spencer, the panic in your lungs are taking all the air, not letting you speak. 

“Should someone help her?”

“No. I would like to see how she gets out of this.”

Hotch tells Morgan before watching you kick the other end of the table, bouncing the key towards you.

It slides into your lap, which you quickly thrust your hips up to get to your hands, and you get yourself out of the cuffs.

Your fist quickly comes into contact with your forehead, another new tic.

You look at the mirror again before walking to the door and grabbing the knob, twisting it open and looking inside.

Your eyes flashed over the six people multiple times, identifying their names and ages. Some from memory, and others from your knowledge.

“Thank you for agreeing to help us. If you’ll follow us please. Dave, I want you and Morgan at the crime scene again. JJ, set up a press conference. Reid And Prentiss, You two and I are working on victimology with Miss Y/n.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid x y/n #dr. spencer reid #dr spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x you #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #david rossi

[torilovestowrite]

Title: Liham para sa ‘yo, Dekada 70 (A Letter for you, Year ‘70) — An entry to @lumpiang-toge ‘s event.

Pairing: Jean Kirstein x Reader

Content Warning: Activism, Pure Angst, Disappearing Persons, Mentions of Death, Marcos regime AU. WRITTEN IN ENGLISH

A/n: I wrote this to raise awareness about happenings in my country. Right now, redtagging has been a problem for the Filipino society especially that the Anti terror law has been approved. I wrote this with the intention to let people know how dangerous redtagging is.

general masterlist || event details

To my beloved Y/n,

45 years, 3 months, and 18 days.

It’s been decades— even scores since the last time I saw you. You were as beautiful as the vast skies and your round eyes sparkle brightly as the sun. You were a gem— as strong as a rare stone but your heart was soft just like your skin. Your smile... it’s always been haunting me, Y/n. The image of you has been burning since the last time we met in the streets of Mendiola— where both of us would walk around the university belt area.

To become a writer, that’s what you’ve been dreaming of all these years, am I right? Those poems, rhymes, and songs that you’ve made for me years ago... I’ve kept them all with me. Remember the song you used to sing for me?

Sa pagsapit ng dilim

Ako'y naghihintay pa rin

Sa iyong maagang pagdating

[As darkness closes in,

I am still longing

For your early return]

Now, I know how it actually feels, my dearest. Because until now, I’m still waiting for you. I’m waiting for your love— your touch, your kisses, your voice, your presence. But it seems that I don’t have that much time anymore. I was diagnosed with bone cancer and I only have few months to live. I can’t believe that I’m actually dying in my early 60s— but I lived a meaningful life. Anyway, I still wrote this letter to keep myself sane in the span of few months. Who knows? I may meet you again on the other side.

Y/n L/n— your name sounds bittersweet whenever I speak of it. It sounds great— but my heart feels like crying. No, not just my heart— but my whole being breaks down at the thought of you.

You were your family’s living trophy— when we were in high school, you walked out of the stage with medals and awards. You left the stage with a heartwarming valedictory speech that left your parents crying. The graduation was memorable; but still, I couldn’t forget our high school prom. You were wearing a long blue gown back then— and you looked stunning. My voice disappeared the moment I saw you— but I was happy that you approached me. You even asked me out on the dance floor with you.

I couldn’t be happier when we reached college. You got into you dream school, the top University in the country. Well, I also got into one of the highest universities. Still, I was happy for you. Both of us hugged each other and out of joy and shock, you kissed me on my cheek. Your face was sparked with excitement as you stood outside of the university hall.

Oh, how I wished I could have stopped you back then.

As you attended the university, you became more outspoken of your political thoughts— even becoming a student leader and joining an underground activist group; something that was very dangerous during that time as I have heard of my fellow students getting killed for attending protests against the government. My heart shivers whenever I think of that time we talked about it— when I convinced you to quit. Believe it or not, but I tried to convince you not for my own sake, Y/n— but yours.

“Can’t you quit? You know being an activist is illegal, right? What will happen to me? To us?”

“I’m so sorry, Jean. But my heart is for the people; for the common good. I cannot just think of myself— because there are people who need me.”

It wasn’t too long after that conversation when suddenly, you were declared as a missing person— Y/n L/n, age of 19, missing since November 19, 1975. No one knows why you have disappeared— but the last time where people saw you was in the streets of Maginhawa— few days after you published your editorial paper about the regime; the leadership; and your hatred for its unjust treatment to the people.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew what happened to you— and my heart carries the guilt until this day; I was so angry with the destructive system— the chaotic system that took me away from you; the harsh system that has been making not just the both of us— but also the people to suffer.

My heart was filled with fury as I remember your sweet and smiling eyes while we held hands in the streets of Intramuros, eating our favorite street foods. It’s not your fault, my pretty Y/n— but the system— the tyrannical leadership of the administration is what swept you away from my arms. I was filled with anger that time— and until now, I carry that anger deep within me.

Two years later— I graduated and still, your body was not found. No one knows where you disappeared to and my heart still ached for you. I remember carrying my college diploma and my graduation cap while I was in the streets of Binondo— our first date. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have the motivation to study and to graduate so I did this in your loving memory.

But I almost wept because all I see is you— your soul, the bustling atmosphere of the place, everything just reminded me of you. You used to love this place, am I right?

If only you knew that your sacrifices weren’t placed in vain, you would be more than happy. In the span of few years, our tyrannical leader was ousted; and it was done by who? By the people that you’ve dedicated your life with. That time, I already had a family with a woman named Pieck Finger— and we had a son which I named Marco. Remember the conversation we had before?

“If we had a child, what would you name them?”

“Marco... or maybe, Isabel? Gabriela? I don’t know.”

“Wow, maybe we could have three children and use those three.”

“Maybe, it could happen one day.”

My marriage with Pieck was normal— I loved her and our only son wholeheartedly. He went to good schools and I provided for everything that both of them needed. Pieck was a good wife too— she loved and showered our son with affection that they deserve. We were a normal family. We had our ups and downs too; but those memories made our bond closer to each other.

Still, there was a hole in my heart— a big hole that could be only be fixed and filled by you, Y/n.

Years have passed and our environment has evolved— perhaps, if you were here right now, you would have loved high-tech gadgets such as laptops and cellphones. The youth, nowadays, are becoming more progressive and they also like to engage in politics. You would have liked it here, Y/n. But for now, you must rest in peace. You must treasure yourself now— for your mission is done. You’ve done your part and fought for the people, my pretty heroine— Y/n.

I still love you, Y/n. And that love is not going to change anytime soon— whether we or we don’t meet in the other side. You’ll always be my lovely woman— my compassionate woman who always had her heart out for the poor, weak, and outcasted.

There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman— you, whose heart is as big as the sun and whose intentions are pure as the fresh water coming from the bamboo plants in the mountains.

I’m hoping to see you soon.

Lovingly yours,

Jean Kirstein

[a/n: ok maybe starting next week, i’ll go back to writing my SMAUs, just took a break because university was taking its toll on me ;-;]

#attack on titan #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin #aot modern au #snk x reader #aot headcanons #filipino #philippines #filipino au #jean kirstein #jean x reader #aot jean #aot #snk #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein x y/n #jean x y/n #🇵🇭 — piliin mo ako

[catsnuggler]

The only ancestor I honor is my mother. Her time came for her too early. She wasn't right about everything, but she had a heart, and she learned.

Despite being a Good Mormon Girl raised in insular (culturally, not geographically) Idaho, she learned a lot, considering the times she lived through. She evolved a lot on race, bridging gaps with people of different backgrounds and filling the gaps in the history she was taught, growing up; or, rather, wasn't taught, growing up.

It was only a little after she had her last child that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fearful, since this was out of her control, and in despair, since chemotherapy didn't seem quick enough for her; and, to be fair, it is Hellish; she turned to the advice of a nutritionist who, in a nutshell, got her believing carrot juice could cure cancer. Her cancer had advanced to an irreversible, terminal state before she turned back to conventional medicine, by which point she simply had to bear out her last days, and take pain medication to somewhat reduce the immense pain she felt with every movement of her joints.

Hurricane Katrina struck before she died. Damn the Bush Administration, and the US, itself, for how they failed New Orleans, leading to the deaths of many residents, most of whom were Black. Double damn then for it, because my mother knew that's exactly why the government didn't step in, and she lost every last shred of her broken hope because of that. She wept to my dad, lamenting the kind of world her kids would be raised in. If the government would leave people to die because they were Black, what other injustices might the government commit against other people?

Her broken heart beat its last in early September, 8 days after her 39th and last birthday. She couldn't eat the cake that day, and she wept. On the morning of the same day she died, she ate a bowl of cereal. Not hot cereal, but cold cereal. She walked up to the kitchen sink when she was done, my dad holding her up, as she scrubbed her bowl. After eating cold cereal for breakfast, which she only half finished, it took her five minutes to scrub the bowl. My dad wanted to do it for her. He didn't want her to suffer any more than she needed to. But she was adamant about doing it, herself. An act of resistance to death, itself; she would be a responsible woman until death had fully taken her. Even though she'd likely had a stroke the night before, she did that.

I doubt my mother would want to live in this world. Another good reason she's dead, is because she was anti-vax. After she died, my dad was damn sure to get us all vaccinated. But, back to the first thing, while I doubt my mother could tolerate the state of the world now, she didn't bear me so I could die as young or younger than her. She bore me so I could live, so I could give to the world the love it's given me, and the love I wished it had given me. She bore me so I could pass on to others the love she gave to me. I hardly remember her, but I will not forget her kind, caring character.

She was denied the fullness of her life, made some mistakes, but was loving on the whole. The rest of my ancestors were mostly conservatives, and all of them were/are completely unabashed colonizers, who got theirs, and fuck everyone else. I don't know how sympathetic my mom would be to decolonization, and it's too late to know that, but she was certainly opposed to anti-Indigenous racism.

Thus, as far as I'm concerned, my mother is the only biological ancestor I'll ever venerate. For all her faults, her heart was mostly in the right place. I hope I'll have descendants, but that will depend on the world. If I do... I hope I will prove to them to be an ancestor worth venerating, not cursing. I hope I can and will help do what it takes to set things right. For the world. For my mother. For the childhood I should have had, but didn't. For the others who, while children, lost their mothers. For myself.

#long post #parental death #cancer mention