#instead of feeling aiding im feeling anxious at work because i feel off and i cant tell if its the adjustment or if

[kingteeth]

I'm so tired of being mentally and physically ill

#got my meds again #got new doses #instead of feeling aiding im feeling anxious at work because i feel off and i cant tell if its the adjustment or if #legit first-time ive had meds in 3 months

[chefrat]

Trying my best to exist just for you

pairings: reader x Levi

type: angst, fluff

word-count: 2.1k

warnings: cursing, mentions of a dislocated hip, mention of blood, death

A/N: I’m honestly so sleepy right now but really felt like finishing this so I hope its good enough :( my English isn't the best but Im trying also I really don't know what to title this just I’m gonna use a Lorde lyric lmao

Levi looked around anxiously, trying to get any piece of you into view. Even if it was your hair, or your shoulder, just something to ease him. Seconds passed and you still were no where in sight and it drove him absolutely crazy. Erwin passing by quickly and purposely not making eye contact with Levi pissed him off but it made him even more anxious. He was good at not showing it though but his eyes told a different story. ‘Where the fuck are you?’ Levi thought to himself, anxiously waiting seeing the group that had gone out earlier this week pass through, everyone was exhausted but civilians cheered. It was still not enough to lift up the spirits and Levi knew exactly what those looks were of. He tried his best to put the negative thoughts away, not waning to imagine someone telling him that you were gone. Just the thought of it made his chest tighten and his throat run dry. That’s when he saw the crate pulling in those who were hurt and another one following behind that carried those who didn’t make it but whose body were recovered. Hange could feel their friend tense at the sight of both carts occupied, they looked around with concern trying to see if you were in either of them.

The sigh that left their lips once they saw you were in the injured crate was enough to relief them from worry but to Levi it still felt like a stab to the chest. It hurt him seeing you there, bleeding but still trying your best to attend the wounds of others. “Make space!” Someone in the crowd yelled, rushing and trying to get those who were injured to the infirmary. Levi was quick on his feet, following behind trying to get to you. Earlier this week, Erwin had decided to pull you from Levi’s squad to join him for a quick expedition that was suppose to last much longer than four days but shit hit the fan. Everything was rushed, too much had blown up in your guys face and you couldn’t help but feel guilty for not doing enough. You had been one of the first ones to end up harmed, the titan sending you flying with a swat of his hand catching you off guard and immediately disabling you from being able to defend your squad. Some squad members quickly came to your aid but only resulting in fatality. That’s when you really let out a sob, seeing your friends die in front of you because they were trying to protect you. But you didn’t give up there, your left leg barely functioning and with tears in your eyes, you tried your best to get away. To try to avenge your friends but you were quickly swept off your feet by another squad member barely giving you the chance to catch your breath. 

Memories came flooding back and you tried your best to hold in your cries, trying to get others into the beds. You ignored your own pain and Levi’s calls to settle down. “Hey.” He said with a stern voice, reaching out to you but you were too busy helping the medic even when they were telling you they had it in control. “Please listen to me.” He pleaded and you complied, facing him with wet tears running down your face and dried blood taking up space of the face Levi adored so much. It pained him, he couldn’t handle seeing you like this. The way you winced while limping and the blood that came rushing from your leg that was most likely broken. Levi carefully swept you up and rushed towards an empty bed with a medic following behind. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, the guilt hurting more than your whole leg being dislocated. Your hand reached out for Levi’s which he gladly took, he brought it up to his cheek letting your cold hand graze his warm cheek. Those four days felt like hell to him but seeing you in pain and bleeding on the bed was on a whole different level. Oh how he wished he could take the pain away from you and let himself go through it instead, he just couldn’t see you like this anymore. It was obvious he was concerned, his emotions that he tried so hard to never show finally being put on display.

Hours passed and it was midnight all of a sudden and after many medics who had tried their best to help you, they finally came to the conclusion that you had dislocated your hip. The crying also stopped but you couldn’t help but feel numb, the only area in your body that was radiating heat came from your leg and from your swollen hip. Levi never left your side, still holding your hand and even cleaning up the blood from your body. Erwin walked in, catching everyone’s attention and to check up on the wounded. He would visit every two hours, the glares Levi would send his way made everyone in the infirmary uncomfortable. Levi was beyond piss, mad that he had taken you instead of him and mad that you had ended up hurt. “Levi, please.” You whispered to him, squeezing his hand trying to ease his anger. The black haired man listened though, his main goal being to keep you comfortable and to distract you from your pain. Erwin went to talk to you, asking how you were feeling but Levi continued to stare him down. This was something that he was not going to let go of so easily. 

It was night now, probably early morning and Levi still hasn’t left your side, sleeping on the chair that was next to your bed. Everyone else was sound asleep but you just couldn’t. You couldn’t sleep because of the pain but because of how it all went down. It just didn’t sit right with you and it was weighing you down. Your thoughts were much more louder than whatever was chirping outside of the infirmary. “Please sleep.” You looked over to see him with his eyes closed and his arms crossed, looking as if he was sleeping but not exactly. “I can’t.” A shaky breath left your lips, the events playing in loop. “Levi,” You brought your hands up to your eyes. “I have never felt so useless.” Hot tears ran down your face while you tried your best to express yourself to Levi with a gentle voice not wanting to disturb the other people in the room. He opened his eyes, looking into yours with his own pain. “I know you’re hurting but please, I want you to sleep.” But you didn’t argue, the sudden wave of tiredness and painkillers knocking you out. 

-

It’s been a week and you were finally discharged from the infirmary but ordered to be put on bed rest for the rest of the month until your next check up. Levi practically made himself your own personal nurse without you even asking, he would remind you about your medicine, not only that but he was also bringing you food, helping you stand and helping you with your daily tasks. Sometimes his overprotectiveness would clash with your need of being independent but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Lack of mobility made itself its daily reminder of what had happened and there was no escaping it. It made a huge impact and Levi took notice. You weren’t the only one affected, Levi was also pretty shaken up thinking he had lost you but that was the risk for serving in the Survey Corps and the both of you knew that. You sat up on the bed, wincing at the piercing pain on your hip that you still haven’t gotten used to. The thought about not being able to fully heal pained you. If it healed improperly there was no doubt that you would be stuck with a limp and then no longer needed in the Survey Corps. 

The sudden creak of the door opening caught your attention. A solid Levi walked in, the first few buttons of his white uniform shirt unbuttoned. His eyes met yours but quickly changed in appearance, burrowing his brows at you. “You shouldn’t be sitting.” You rolled your eyes, slowly getting off of the bed putting your good foot down first. “Welcome home, honey.” Levi rushed over to you, very against you trying to stand. “For fuck’s sake, please just lay in bed.” He swept you up and gently placed you back on the mattress of your shared bed, ruining your progress. You grabbed onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for a quick peck taking him by surprise. Levi gave you a small smile but quickly dismissed it, standing up and walking away to change out of his uniform. “Levi?” You questioned, sitting up on the bed again even though you shouldn’t, making him roll his eyes. “What if…” You could feel your tears start up but bit your tongue, trying your best to hold them back. “What if I never properly heal and I’m ordered to back down from serving in the Survey Corps?” 

Levi glanced over to you, he noticed that it had been a thought thats been gnawing at you all day. Even he wasn’t sure how to answer that, he made it look like he was more focused on changing. Just thinking about it made you burst out crying, everything you worked so hard for thrown away just like that. The way you tried your hardest to control your crying but you knew you couldn’t keep it in any more, it really did hurt Levi seeing you like this. He threw on a shirt and made it all the way over to you in a blink of an eye. Without thinking about it he dropped to his knees in front of you, taking in your hands. You could feel how his slightly trembled in your hold and you couldn’t help but scowl. 

“You have no idea on how I felt when everyone else walked through that gate except you.” He gripped your hands even tighter, staring into your own glossy orbs. “I am so so so fucking happy having you here with me right now. If I had to choose, I would pick this one hundred times over than you never returning to me. You risked your life out there and managed to come back alive and you’re still thinking about going out there again, that takes balls and I think if it ever comes down to it and you’re ordered to back down then that would be the dumbest thing that this military has ever done to turn away someone like you.” You couldn’t help but cry a little more, his reassuring words and warm touch making you more into an emotional mess. 

“Levi, I was scared. I thought it was over for me, it all happened so quickly but you’re right. I rather have this a hundred times over than never coming home to you. I thought about, about how it could have been to grow old with you and about if you would still be there for me after so many years. The only thing that went through my mind during those few seconds was you—“ The sob that you barely managed out burned your throat from how strongly your emotions were at the the moment.This has probably been one of the first times Levi has ever seen you completely breakdown besides that day when you returned. You talking about how the only things you were thinking about was him during what you thought would be your final moments of life made his own eyes water. 

He cupped your face, feeling his hands become wet from the tears that kept racing down your face. His own tearful eyes looking into yours, both completely vulnerable to each other and showing each others fears. “Let’s do it.” Levi said out of nowhere, confusing you. “Do what?” The both of you never breaking eye contact, his touch still making an influence on your rosy cheeks. “Let’s get married.” You gave a small raspy laugh but they way he never broke character made you think that maybe he was being honest.“I’m dead serious. Tonight, tomorrow, in a week, whenever you want but only if it’s with me.”  You studied his eyes, marriage has never been brought up before so for this proposal to pop out of nowhere, it really was a surprise to you. With a nod and loving eyes you ran your hand through his black hair. Levi inched closer, sealing the deal with a kiss. That was all he needed, even if your hip was never going to heal completely and you had to walk with a limp for the rest of your life he would still love you, no matter what. 

(not edited, also wrote this on like 38 hours of no sleep :( but still, hope its okayish enough)

#levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #attack on titan #aot #aot imagines #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman imagine #erwin smith #zeke yeager #eren yeager #armin #armin arlert #hange zoe #connie springer #jean kirschstein #sasha braus #shingeki no kyoujin levi #shingeki no kyoujin

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Parting Gift

Summary: Virgil navigates an empty world he didn't see before and he can't see now. Thankfully the modified roomba his parents left him helps in the absence of people.Just a silly little fic I thought of because we recently got a robot vacuum.

Warnings: apocalypse scenario, food mention, insinuated death (not described or shown), mild swearing. If there’s more please let me know!

Ships: background Lociet (background Logan x Janus)

WC: 2405

General Taglist (ask to be added or removed) @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library

The tap-tap-tapping of Virgil’s cane as he moved along the road matched perfectly with the beat playing out of the one working earbud in his ear. Whatever town or residential area he had stumbled into was quiet and barren though seemingly not nearly as destroyed as the last one he had been in. Changing direction slightly as he has started to stray into wet grass he continued along what he assumed was a sidewalk, carefully feeling for the edge to make sure he was centered before continuing to sweep the cane in front of him to avoid whatever rubble or trash or non working car might have ended up on the side of the cracked road. 

Virgil didn’t know what the world had looked like before and he could only imagine what it looked like now. Everything had happened so fast he doubted he’d be able to recognize it anyway. He had never been able to see and it had never bothered him as much as it did now; with no way to know if someone was on the road other than the sound of footsteps he hadn’t heard in months and nothing to keep him company except his music and- well he supposed he couldn’t complain. Tripping slightly over a stray rock he hadn’t felt brought him back from his thoughts and into the real world once again, shivering as he realized just how cold it was getting and how truly tired he was from walking all day.

Continuing on only a couple more feet revealed a pathway leading off to what he hoped was a house or a store. As bad as he sometimes felt about it, there was no one around anymore- at least as far as he had managed to travel thus far- no one would miss a couple cans of ravioli and a few bottles of water if he could manage to scrounge them up. The walkway seemed pretty thin leading away from the main road so he assumed he was in a residential area with houses rather than near anything like a general store or pharmacy; he really hoped he came across one soon he was running low on band-aids. He could only do  so much with a cane and though he wished his palms and knees were tougher by now that he wouldn’t have to bandage them every time he fell sadly his callus just wasn’t thick enough.

Long grass brushed his ankles under his too short jeans, wispy blades rustling quietly as he passed. He took his headphone out as he walked after turning on the beat up ipod and pressing where he knew the pause button was from years of the same motion. Crickets began their evening concert as the birds finished their own, the air growing cooler as Virgil imagined the sun finally dipping below the horizon. He shifted the weight of his book bag more to one shoulder as he slipped it off the other hoping to reach an entryway of some sort soon since his feet were protesting the day of doing nothing but picking a direction and walking. Hitting a step he nudged the cane up until he could judge how high it was- sometimes they were high enough to trip him and other times they were so low they were more of an annoyance than anything else- and carefully made his way up all three of them. There were plastic feeling columns on either side of the top step so he assumed he was on the front porch of a house, some careful prodding revealing one of those rubber welcome mats he was constantly getting the soles of his shoes stuck on since when he was tired he refused to pick his feet up properly. He faintly heard his dad telling him to straighten his back and walk like he was alive but he shook it off with an eye roll. Posture didn’t matter if there was no one around to see it.

Fumbling around a minute for the door handle he stopped as his cheeks reddened, reaching up to knock first. Just because he hadn’t run into anyone yet didn’t mean it couldn’t happen and he  really didn't want to break into someone’s home if they were still there and startle them. He didn’t fancy getting shot after so long of surviving o his own and to have that compromised because he was a heathen who didn’t knock anymore would be an idiotic way to go for sure. KNocking, however, proved fruitless. Nothing answered but the crickets though as he knuckle raps turned to rather loud pounds on the door they began to quiet. A part of him still wished sometimes that someone would answer, it had been so long since he’d heard another voice. He knew realistically that if he was still here there would have to be other survivors and that if he kept walking he was bound to run into them. 

After years of doing nothing but that had yet to turn anything up though, and it seemed that this time would be no different. His hand fell to the knob once again as he took a breath and held it before twisting and pushing open the door. Hesitantly sniffing the air revealed nothing but old, unaired house smell and dust that had been kicked up from the bottom of the door brushing the carpet in the entryway. He sneezed loudly, the sound echoing sadly as if the house had missed the concept of sound, and wiped his nose on his sleeve before sighing in relief. Sometimes he entered a house or store and there would be...different smells. Ones that would make him gag and bolt from the building so the hot, cloying scent wouldn’t stick to his cloths. Those days were declared laundry days anyway, sullenly dunking his clothes in the rivers he always stuck close to trying to rid himself of the memory with the fresh smell of laundry detergent and sunlight. The day after that was spent moving as far away as he could as quickly as he could to get away from the dark scent that hung on the streets. It was safer to scrounge out granola bars from the bottom of his bag on those days than to risk looking for anything more substantial in the buildings he might be able to get into.

As it was Virgil stepped in the house and carefully closed the door behind him, swinging his bookbag around and cringing at the sound of the zipper echoing faintly in the doorway. Grabbing a smaller, padded drawstring bag out he opened it and carefully set the Roomba down, giving it a little pet before turning it on. It beeped out a pleasant little tune before the whirring sound of it starting up and moving away filled the house and he smiled, leaving his bag by the door and getting up to explore the house with Stuart.

Stuart the vacuum, as dumb as it was, was Virgil’s only source of company and had been since he was about four. The world was already crumbling at that point and rather than risking going out and about to find Virgil a seeing eye pet that wouldn’t last his whole lifetime if he lived long, his dads had modified their small vacuum for him in the hopes that it would last. And it had. Rather than having to plug into a power source it was solar charged, which the front of the bag it was kept in and his backpack was clear plastic to allow it to charge during the day, storing hours of energy to be able to work when Virgil needed it. Instead of vacuuming it simply went about bumping into things and storing a digital map of any small area, letting Virgil then walk beside it and stop when it beeped, nudging him in a different direction so he didn't bump into or trip on anything. This of course was before he was proficient with feeling his whereabouts with his cane adn at this point it was like letting a trusted pet out for its nightly walk rather than out of any necessity but Virgil loved it as if it was a dog. His most loyal companion...who he kept in his bag all day. He snorted as he felt out what was feeling to be the kitchen; he’d take anything over the oppressive silence of an empty house.

His mouth tightened as he felt around in cabinets for cans- all smooth labels of course, nothing to differentiate the corn from the beets from the manwich spread. He hated the fact that dinners were so often a surprise just because no one had thought to universalize a system to put a bit of braille on cans. Even some raised lettering underneath the label spelling out one word descriptors would be fine, instead he could only go by smell and taste and hope to god nothing he put in his mouth had expired. He missed grilled cheese and fried chicken and french fries- all things he didn’t have the means or resources to make. He never learned to hunt or slaughter anything and he doubted he’d be able to learn when he didn’t even know how to tell what parts of an animal to eat, let alone see what he was doing to cut it out and cook it. He was lucky he taught himself how to start a fire some years ago- he couldn’t imagine actually catching a fish and knowing when it was cooked enough to eat without just burning it to a crisp. Sighing as he opened a can with his old can opened he tentatively sniffed at the contents. 

Baked beans were good. He’d rather have them hot but he had no motivation to go out and start a fire right now and there was no way in hell he was going to try inside- so cold bean jelly it was. He’d had worse. He grabbed his cane from where he had leaned it against the counter and began walking back into what he assumed would be the living room as Stuart beeped to notify him he was done. Smiling as he felt a small nudge he changed direction to navigate around what felt like a dusty leather couch and settled on the floor in front of it to eat his dinner. Stuart came to rest beside him while he dug a spoon out of the smaller bag he always carried and he smirked slightly, feeling around to place a single baked bean on top of the vacuum as a reward for a job well done. 

He tucked in as he thought of what his dads would say about him doing that; both of them would more than likely find it endearing but relentlessly tease him about it for the rest of his life. He imagined his father’s face wrinkling up in an amused smile, scars tugging around crows feet and wispy hair tickling his fingertips. Dad’s smile was a lot smaller but no less sincere, mostly held in his eyes that had his lower eyelid just barely lifting. He missed feeling their faces- they’d let him do it whenever he’d ask to make sure he knew what emotion they were displaying. Both of them were awkward when it came to voicing their feelings and Virgil was always terrible at picking up social cues from simply listening, so being able to read a face as easily as a book often helped put them all at ease.Idly he brushed the top of Stuart’s “head”, feeling nothing but cool, hard plastic beneath his fingers. 

He cleaned up as best as he could, throwing the top of the can away in a trash bin after wiping it off and setting the actual can on the back porch with another full one for whatever might come by. His cane was carefully tucked just underneath the couch as he unrolled his sleeping bag and small pillow to get comfy for the night, placing his little vacuum by his head before snuggling down into bed and sighing quietly. Reaching out he felt for the button on the side of the roomba, a little rough and worn from years of the same routine of day. Biting his lip he pressed it in before snatching his hand away and tucking himself in completely, squeezing his eyes shut like he’d been sleeping all along.

“Is he asleep?” His father’s silky voice cut through the silence.

“I should hope so, it’s dark out and he needs his rest.” Dad was always very matter of fact, Virgil could imagine his arms crossing as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“...Do you want to start or should I?”

Virgil’s dad sighed. “I hope that you got to sleep at a reasonable hour this time, and that you had a good dinner that was as balanced as you could make it. That- that you’re somewhere safe-”

HIs father stepped in smoothly. “We hope that you’re taking care of yourself as best as you can, and taking care of Stuart as well. Hopefully there are people around that can help you when you need it and you aren’t afraid to ask for it- but if there aren’t I know you’re capable enough on your own.”

“We wish you only happiness, no matter how bad things are or get, always remember that it has the capability to get better as long as you are willing to work for it. I know whatever you’re working on or towards you’re doing the absolute best you can do, and we couldn’t be more proud.”

“We love you, Virgil. So, so much and don’t you ever forget that. take care of yourself and please stay safe.”

“Goodnight, Virgil.” He could still remember Dad brushing his fingers through his hair before the weight had disappeared from the bed.

“Goodnight, Virgil. Sweet dreams.” He felt a phantom kiss on the cheek from memory long since passed, the blankets pulled up and tucked around him. The door creaked shut and the recording ended, Stuart beeping softly to indicate he was shutting down. Safely tucked into his sleeping bag with a full stomach in the silence, Virgil let his eyes drift shut, a smile still on his lips as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

This work is also available on AO3!

If you like this, please consider reblogging. Sharing works helps encourage creators!

#false writes #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #blind virgil #virgil sanders #blind virgil sanders #tw food mention #food mention #tw swearing #mild swearing #apocalypse au #apocalypse mention #ao3 #insinuated death

[buckyshattergirl]

A (Not So) Good Boy

Pairing: Roman Sionis x Reader A/N: Well... I did it. After almost three years of writing nothing that was good enough to post, IM BACK. This took me almost a week to write after finally coming up with a plot I liked. The idea itself had been bothering me for almost a month. I hope you like this! Words: 2.5k Warnings: Porn with maybe too much plot, smut, mommy kink, oral sex, handjob, out of character Roman (idk man...)

Summary: Roman finds himself in some trouble after his family disowns him. Through the kindness of a very nice baker he might find a way to get back on his feet. He did not plan on the things she would make him feel though.

Roman got into the bakery close to closing time, hoping they had some leftovers for him. The person doing the front hadn't noticed him yet and the baker came out. A young woman, early to mid twenties. She noticed him right away, and seemed to recognise him. "Hi, welcome to Book & Bake," she smiled. It wasn't a fake customer service smile, it was real, oozing with friendliness and he didn't know what to make of it. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah… I was wondering if you had any leftovers I could take home? I got two dollars, I'll take anything." He said. Boy he really was desperate, he didn't even bother speaking softly. She looked him up and down and took two sausage rolls out of the counter. 

"Come on back with me," she smiled. "I'll warm these up… You seem like you could use a chat." She opened the saloon doors and waited for him, she wasn't kidding. He followed her into a big room which had just been cleaned. The ovens were just hot enough to warm up the sausage rolls. She opened one up and put them in, leaving the door open. 

He looked at her, feeling very confused. "I-I'm Roman…" he told her. He figured if she was kind enough to welcome him into her working space he could at least introduce himself. 

"I know…" the woman smiled. "I remember you from the papers… My name is Y/N." She introduced herself. "And I think it's incredibly unfair what your family did to you…" That made Roman smile. He hadn't smiled in a long time. He watched her as she carefully got the pastries out and handed him one. 

"Thank you…" he mumbled, letting it warm his cold hands. "I really appreciate this…"  He hadn’t experienced this kind of kindness ever since his parents kicked him out. Y/N stood next to him, patting his shoulder. 

“If you’re ever hungry, or need a place to stay, you’re welcome here.” she smiled. 

A few weeks after their first meeting he once again found himself in Book & Bake right before closing. This time only Y/N was there. “Are you okay?” she asked. He looked awful. His face was all bruised and bloody and he was shivering. 

“I couldn’t pay them…” he whispered. He still had to get used to the fact that he had to work for his money now and that he couldn’t spend everything on menial stuff.

“Lemme take you upstairs, sweetie, get you all cleaned up.” she said, taking his arm. There was a staircase hidden behind a bookcase that opened. Y/N was still pretty proud of that idea. It led up to a very nice and luxurious flat. “I’m gonna run you a nice warm bath, you’re freezing.” she said, getting him into the bathroom. “And clean off your face, see if you need any patching up. Is that okay?” 

Poor man couldn’t do anything but nod. He didn’t even realise he was cold. He watched as she got out the first aid kit and turned on the hot water. Soon the bathroom was filled with warmth as the tub filled up. 

Y/N took a washcloth and wetted it. “This might sting a little,” she softly said as she brought the fabric to his face. Slowly all the blood disappeared and revealed that the wounds it had come from had already dried. “Damn… They fucked you up real bad, didn’t they…” she whispered, carefully inspecting all the bruises.

He didn’t know what to say. It had been years since anyone had treated him with such kindness. “Can I stay here?” he whispered, almost ashamed to have to ask for help. The young woman nodded, cupping his face. 

“For however long you need.” she offered, turning the water off and adding nice smelling bubbles to it. The bottle seemed expensive, he was pretty sure his mother had the same one. “Enjoy your bath,” she smiled, standing up to leave. As she turned around Roman grabbed her wrist. 

“Please stay…” he whispered. “I don’t want to be alone…” 

She nodded, getting back to her knees in front of him. “Alright,” she nodded. “Would you like some help?” That earned her a small nod. She reached up to slowly unbutton his shirt, being careful in case they hurt his torso too. But he didn’t have any bruising there. “I’ll turn around so you can take your pants off and get into the tub, alright?” she smiled, standing up and turning around. 

When Y/N heard the water move she turned around again, finding him in the tub, hugging his knees.  She sat down on the ottoman which held all her bath products and sighed. “Could… Could you please wash my hair?” Roman asked, looking up at her. Y/N nodded,

She found a lavender scented shampoo that would calm him a little. God knows he needed it. She used her hands to wet his hair. It felt like it hadn’t been washed  in weeks. “Is this okay?” she asked, running her hands through the greasy locks. She got another nod. She took the shampoo and rubbed it between her hands before massaging it into his scalp and hair. 

The scent did wonders to his anxious thoughts. His paranoia disappeared. They wouldn’t find him here. He relaxed into her touch and sighed contently. “Thank you, ma…’am” he whispered. 

Y/N smiled, glad she still had that top energy after years of being too busy to have any sex. She rinsed out all the shampoo, making sure he didn’t get any into his eyes. Once his hair was clean she ran her hands through it one last time. “Do you think you can manage the rest?” she asked. “I’ll find you some pyjamas and make your bed.” Once again she got a nod in confirmation. She couldn’t help but kiss his head softly before leaving the bathroom, leaving out a towel on the ottoman.

The moment the door closed Roman let out a sigh. He bit his lip and wrapped his hand around his hardening cock. “Fuck…” he whispered. She was so beautiful and kind to him. He didn’t know how to handle himself. He slowly stroked himself, imagining it was Y/N’s hand taking care of him. Soft moans escaped his lips as he kept that slow pace. “Y/N…" he whimpered, bucking his hips up. 

Meanwhile she was holding the doorknob, definitely hearing what he was doing so instead of just walking in she softly knocked on the door so he seized his actions. She waited for permission to come in and put the silk pyjamas on the sink. 

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes," she announced, looking over at him. She saw how his face was flushed and he was biting his lip. "Have fun," she winked. 

He knew it was so wrong, but he couldn't help saying it. He didn't even know if he said it to tease her or because it turned him on. "Yes mommy," he called out, grinning. It did turn him on, and he hoped she didn't think it was weird. 

Y/N just chuckled as she walked to the kitchen. She'd never been called mommy before but she thought it was pretty funny. She quickly whipped up some spaghetti, making sure there was enough. He seemed hungry. 

10 minutes later Roman appeared in the kitchen. "These pyjamas are really comfy, thank you." He smiled, sitting down. She handed him a plate and a set of cutlery before sitting across from him. She was worried for him. The people that beat him up could still be after him. 

“Who fucked you up that bad?” she asked, reaching over the table to take his hand. “Do they need to be paid off?” Another nod. “How much?” 

“5000…” he sighed. “But please don’t feel obligated to pay… I’ll find a job, pay it off myself.” he rambled. But Y/N shook her head. 

“I’ll pay them… See it as a chance to get back on your feet.” she said. “Would you like some cheese?” 

After dinner Y/N put on the tv as she did the dishes, giving Roman some distraction. She had no idea that he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her backside. “Will you stay with me tonight?” he asked as she sat down with him. 

“Of course,” she nodded, getting underneath a blanket. Over the next few minutes Roman got closer to her, needing affection. She was too focussed on the movie on the television to notice his neediness. Finally he got the courage to put his head in her lap. Her hand immediately found its way into his hair softly. He nuzzled into her stomach, enjoying the touches. “You tired?” she asked. He grinned up at her and shook his head. 

“But I do wanna go to bed.” he smirked, getting up. Mischief lit up his eyes as he walked to the open bedroom. Y/N chuckled, getting up to follow him.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Sionis…” she laughed, walking into the bedroom with him. “You should know I have a very peculiar taste in the bedroom.”

“As long as I can call you mommy I’m fine with everything…” he smirked, biting down onto his lip. 

“Usually I go by Mistress or ma’am… But suit yourself I guess, Sionis…” Y/N chuckled, pushing him softly towards the bed. “Be nice, darling…” She climbed onto the bed and sat down against the headboard, looking at him with a kind smile. 

“Yes, of course…” Roman grinned, crawling closer to her. His dick was already rock hard, clearly visible through the silk of his pants. “I can’t wait to fuck you…” he whispered under his breath. That made Y/N chuckle.

“No no no, sweetie… You’re going to make mommy feel good first…” she said, gripping his chin and kissing him. It started out slow and soft but soon turned into a show of dominance. “Now be a good boy for me…” she whispered into his ear once she pulled away. 

He nodded and unbuttoned Y/N’s shirt, kissing every inch of newly exposed skin on his way. “Fuck you’re so beautiful…” he whispered, pushing away the fabric from her shoulders so her torso was bared to him. His lips found the skin of her collarbone as he pushed her skirt up. He couldn’t get her panties off fast enough. 

“I bet that tongue of yours is very talented,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. He nodded, kissing down her chest and never breaking eye contact. He smirked, winking as he gave a shy lick at her clit, making her sigh. He took his sweet time before diving in and eating her out like a man starved. Y/N moaned out his name, it sounded like music, as he lapped at her clit and his fingers teased at her opening. 

She reached down, pulling at his hair softly to talk to him. “You’re so good at this...” she whispered. He moved his fingers to her clit before diving back in, pressing his tongue against her entrance and finally penetrating her. 

He moaned at the taste of her pussy, extracting more moans from her. He used his fingers to flick at her bundle of nerves, making her whimper until she was close. Roman groaned, pulling away. “Please mommy…” he whimpered. “Please… I’m so hard… Please touch me…” Y/N groned at her ruined orgasm, but smirked at him as she sat up straighter.

“Get on your back, sweetie,” she ordered. Roman complied, holding onto her hand. “I’m gonna sit on your face. Because you will make me cum before I even consider letting you cum.” She said, waiting for him to nod before straddling his face. “Tap my thigh three times if you need me to get off.”

He wrapped his arms around her thighs to get her closer. He wanted to eat her out real good. Meanwhile she reached over and got his cock out of it’s silk confines. “Oh baby…” she smirked, kissing it. “So hard for me…” She spit in her hand before wrapping her hand around his dick, slowly stroking him. It felt so good he buried his tongue deeper inside to stifle his moans. 

Y/N rocked her hips, giving Roman’s cock teasing licks but never taking him in her mouth. That only made him work even harder. Soon she was moaning out his name “God Roman, I’m so close…” she moaned, “make me cum…” . He reached down and teased her clit with his finger, applying just the right amount of pressure. She cried out and arched her back, finally reaching that high. She got off of him, sitting down next to him instead and smiled, softly pecking his lips. 

“You’ve been such a good boy,” she whispered, wrapping her hand around his cock again. “You can touch if you want to…”

He whimpered, letting his hands run up her body. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, squeezing the supple flesh of her tits. She sped up her hand, making him moan. He dove in and started kissing down her boobs to hide the sounds he was making.  Soon his hips bucked to meet her hand and he was moaning and whimpering into her skin. “Fuck… Mommy I’m so close…” he whispered. 

“Do you want to cum, baby?” she asked, stroking his hair with her free hand. He nodded, looking up at her with big eyes. “Ask me nicely then…”

“Please mommy… Please can I cum?” he whined, rutting into her hand like an animal. She seemed to think it over a little, but to him it took too long. “Please…” he whimpered. She leaned down and kissed his cheek before finally whispering what he wanted to hear.

“Cum for me, sweetie…” With that he moaned out her name, his hips stuttering as white spurts of cum shot out of his dick. “So pretty when you cum…” Y/N commented, a smirk on her face. 

“Thank you,” he sighed, putting his head against her shoulder. “That was amazing…”

“I noticed,” she chuckled, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. “We should definitely take a shower now…” That made Roman whine. 

“I don’t wanna…” he sighed. “I wanna stay here comfy with you…” 

“Alright, but I am gonna take a quick shower. I’ll be right back.” she said, kissing his face. Five minutes later she emerged with a washcloth and a water bottle. “Here…” she said, making him drink as she wiped down his body, getting most of the filth off. 

“You were really good for me…” she smiled, kissing his head. 

“I’d like to be your good boy,” Roman grinned, winking before kissing her cheek. “If you’ll have me of course.” Y/N chuckled.

“Alright, but then you really have to be good, okay?” she smiled, holding him close. 

“I promise…” he nodded. 

Tags(I’m tagging people I think will like this. If you don’t want to be tagged please tell me. That also goes if you want to be tagged.): @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics​ @darling-i-read-it​ @queenofgotham800​ @romyxsiomy​ 

#roman sionis x reader #sub!Roman Sionis #ewan mcgregor x reader #birds of prey fanfiction

[holdin-out-for-a-hero]

Creep- FFVII Biggs X Reader Ch.6/?

Summary: you get on the bad side of one of Corneo’s men and now you have a target on your back

A/N: sorry it took so long! I hope to post a chapter at least once a week but we’ll see how if works out...

The sound of a revving engine could be heard from behind, as well as a maniacal laughter. It grounded you back into the present reality; a reality where you weren't safe and neither was your team.

You hesitated, taking a deep breath before looking behind. This new threat didn’t look like any typical Shinra troop, for troops were stripped of their identities and forced to wear the same uniforms. But this man was different. He wasn’t wearing one of those ugly helmets or uniforms, and his bike wasn’t typical either. Instead, the man wore his hair in a long mullet with the front slicked back. His outfit still seemed military-grade but personalized. And to top it all off, he rode a vibrant red bike. He held his sword out in front of him, size comparable to cloud’s buster sword. Could be be another soldier?

You stared a second too long, for he met eyes with you and sent a wink. You turned back around and sped up. Please, not another weirdo.

"Who's that?" Jessie asked.

"A SOLDIER," Cloud answered her. You were correct, then.

You pulled out your gun, ready to take out the man's tires and send him flying off the back of his bike just like you did with some of the previous troops. As you turned, though, he sped past you.

"Well, hello!" The man greeted your group, a sickening inflection to his voice.

"Who's this?" Biggs asked.

"Too quick for the eye, you cross him, you die!" The man replied. Oh, he was definitely a weirdo. He turned his head to look back at Cloud, "Now, mind if I cut in?"

He waited just a moment for an answer, and upon not receiving one, answered the question himself.

"Splendid, I've been looking for a new dance partner!"

The man spun his bike backwards and with the swing of his sword sent some sort of long-range attack your way. Whatever projectiles his sword had just formed, they mimicked beams of light. They were surely from whatever materia he had equipped, but you couldn’t tell which one.

Cloud swerved them effortlessly. You and Wedge: not so much. You had slid past one at the last second, and you could feel the white-hot warmth pass so close to your face.

"Private party, huh? That's fine. I'll settle for a race then. Just one."

"You talking to me?" Cloud asked.

"I most certainly am," the man said, his smirk could be heard in his words.

"Then no."

"Ah, so terribly sorry! Your words fail to reach my ears, sluggish and slow as they are!"

Yes, the man was a threat, but it was hard to see him that way since he was so... peculiar. He knew his was around both a motorcycle and a sword, surely he had many fatal tricks up his sleeve, and yet you couldn't help but cringe at everything he had to say. He took a real interest in Cloud, you noticed, probably because he recognized him as another soldier. You hoped Cloud would hurry up and take him out.

"What's this guys deal?" Jessie asked.

"The lady's curiosity has been peaked!" He replied, "My name is Roche, but you can address me by the more accurate appellation: Speed Demon."

"Heard that, huh?"

Roche laughed, "My ears are attuned to the feminine voice!"

You looked over to Jessie, who shared the same expressions as you: shock, discomfort, a little disgust. So he was a creep, too. Great.

"Ewww," slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it. You hoped he didn't hear.

"Ugh, this guy is the worst!" Jessie seemed to agree with you.

Upon hearing that, Roche sent more light projectiles back towards your group, you dodged again, slightly smoother this time. Cloud dodged effortlessly just like before, and sent his own flying attack to the man.

"Yes, this is the contest I've been waiting for!"

Cloud caught up to him, readying the buster sword. Upon seeing this, Roche smiled and readied his own weapon. With one strike, cloud had become the catalyst of their sword fight. Sparks flew as their swords scraped against each other, the clinks of metal deafening.

Then Roche sped up again, creating distance between him and using his long-range light attacks. These ones were only focused on cloud; he couldn't dogde them. Instead, he held up the buster sword as a makeshift shield. The force of the attack made cloud's bike shake as the light splintered off of his blade.

Roche has completely forgotten about you, Wedge, and Biggs. His focus was on Cloud and Cloud alone. Maybe because he was a SOLDIER? You didn’t know for sure. But since he was busy, it meant that meant the three of you were safe from those long range attacks. 

Cloud sped up to meet Roche, sword ready to take him out. A maniacal laughter bubbled from Roche's chest as their swords met again. It must have been the thrill of danger or rush from speed that had him so giddy. Maybe he got off on it or something... But if he was fighting with cloud, he was gambling with his life. You hadn't known the mercenary that long, but he could handle a sword; that was abundantly clear.

You worried for Jessie, though, she was caught in the middle of it all. You hoped she hadn't gotten hurt. If she got hurt on Cloud's watch, you'd tear him a new one. But she was probably fine, she could handle her own. Besides, she had her own sub-machine gun. Wait, why wasn't she helping cloud using her gun?

Wait, why weren't YOU helping cloud and using your gun? Roche was distracted, you could easily speed up and take out his tires or something.

So that's what you did. As you sped towards them, you noticed Roche's demeanor. He was slouched, breathing heavily and holding onto his bike. Maybe cloud didn't need any help after all. You hand didn't let up on the throttle, though.

"You had enough?" Cloud asked.

"Don't be absurd," Roche looked up, flashing a nasty smile, "As if I could ever grow tired of your company." You were beside him now, aiming your gun at his front tire. Before you could shoot, though, he turned to look at you.

"I really hate to do this, but you’re being awfully naughty.” He said, same devious inflection as before.

And then, before you even had a chance to think, he had knocked you off your bike with his sword.

"Y/N!" Jessie yelled.

One second you were in control of the situation, in control of your bike, and the next, you were headed towards the wall. The first part of your body to make impact with the wall was your hip, nerves igniting like fire as the rest of you ungracefully met with the wall.

For a moment, you couldn't process anything. The white-hot pain in your hip and shock of the moment completely shut down your mind. But then you opened your eyes, and you saw the sky again. Those swirling blues, you wished you could look at it forever...

"Y/N!" A voice called, it was Biggs. Wedge had thrown a U-Turn as soon as he saw you get knocked off the bike.

Your awareness came back to your body, mind processing what had just happened. You were thrown off of a motorcycle, and now you lay on the ground. Your hip hurt like hell, and you were sure you had a few scrapes as well. You could feel them burning...

"Y/N!" Biggs jumped off the back of the bike and ran towards you, kneeling down by your side. He glanced up and down your body, looking for any sign of injury. And then he looked into your eyes, “Are you ok?”

The words met your ears, but you couldn’t seem to form a response. That was until you heard more bikes, coming in as backup for Roche. It tore you from your daze, and with your hands you pushed your torso up from the ground. Biggs looked towards the source of the sound, noticing how quickly it was getting louder.

“Im fine,” you said, panicked, “We gotta go!”

He jumped up, lifting you off the ground too, before checking to see if you could stand. Although your hip still hurt, it wasn’t enough to keep you from walking. Once he had established that you were actually ok, he grabbed your wrist and ran for you bike. It was a good couple yards from where you had landed. He lifted it up from the ground, cranking the throttle to see if it still worked. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when it revved to life. He took the front, and you hopped onto the back.

"Hold on," he said before taking off. And you did, you held on for your life. Your hands dug into the fabric of his shirt and your face pressed against his back, breathing in that familiar scent in a futile attempt to calm yourself down. It wasn't helping very much on its own, but the warmth of his body seemed to aid it in calming your breathing.

He sped across the tracks, trying to catch up with the others and avoid those troops. The rush that riding a motorbike once gave you had left, being replaced by dread and fear. How could you have possibly enjoyed this before?

But it was Biggs, he knew what he was doing, you reminded yourself. You trusted him.

Still, you didn't dare look back up.

Eventually you both reached your friends; Cloud had just beat Roche and then quickly took out the troops trailing you and Biggs. And that was the end of the danger, for now at least.

"Y/N, you ok?" Jessie asked, and you turned to look at her for a moment and nodded, which was a mistake, as you immediately got anxious noticing how fast you were going.

The rest of the ride was done so in silence. It didn't take long to get to Jessie's stop. You finally felt the bike slowing down, which you were grateful for, and eventually it came to a full stop. You unlatched from Biggs' back before anyone could see how tightly you held onto him.

He got off of the bike first, turning around to help you up before thoroughly checking for injuries. Jessie and Wedge approached you, too. The mercenary watched the scene from a few feet away, his arms crossed. Wedge kept some distance. Biggs and Jessie, however, didn't seem to take personal space into consideration. You understood they were worried, but you felt suffocated by their gazes and proximity.

"You didn't hit your head, did you?" He asked, taking your face in his hands and turning it to the sides to check for any injury. You swatted his hands away, hoping he didn't see your red face.

"No, Just my hip, but I think it'll be ok."

"Are you sure?" Jessie asked, placing her hand on the uninsured hip to see if it was the one. You stopped her before she touched your other hip.

"Well, I'm standing on it right now, so I think so," you couldn't help the attitude seeping into your tone. You were just in a traumatizing accident, heavily embarrassed because of it, and now being smothered by your friends. Not to mention everything that happened that morning and the day before. The past 48 hours have been hell...

"Watch the 'tude, missy," Jessie said to you, and you had to bite the inside of your cheeks and take a deep breath to keep from snapping. A chuckle escaped Biggs' chest, he must have seen your reaction. His laugh seemed to ease some of the forming tension.

"My mom's got stuff to patch you up," Jessie said, taking you arm into her hands as she looked at your scrapes, "But how are we gonna explain this to her?”

"I tripped?" You suggested.

"That'll work. She might pry, though, so you better get your story straight now."

After you assured them that you were fine and that you could walk, the five of you headed out into the sector 7 business quarters. You really hoped they hadn't noticed your slight limp... it couldn't be too noticeable. After the initial impact of your hip against the concrete wall, the pain died down to a manageable ache. And though you knew it wasn't all that serious, you knew there would be a big, purple bruise there tomorrow.

The business quarters were immaculately clean, with real roads and concrete instead of the dirt grounds of the slums. There was a car in every driveway; a luxury that no one under the plate had, for there weren't even streets to drive them on. The differences between the slums and topside were so astounding that you, biggs, Wedge, and even Cloud had to look around in amazement. Jessie was used to it, though.

Biggs stopped in his tracks to stand in front of a pro-Shinra sign, crossing his arms as he read the words; they were all lies. You stopped by it too, cringing at the propaganda.

"Disgusting," you said quietly, and he hummed in agreement. There was a moments pause as you both glanced closer at the sign, taking in the pictures and their irony. It was a moments pause made much longer because you were both painfully aware of it.

"So... how are you holding up?" He asked, turning back to you.

"What?" You looked up at him.

"Emotionally, I mean. How are you holding up?" You glanced at him for a second, taken aback by the question.

"Well, uhh... I just got thrown off of a motorbike. I have a gang after me. Could be better," you averted your gaze, looking to the street lamp instead, "It's been a hectic 48 hours..."

“Tell me about it.”

“It just feels like its never gonna end.”

"Look," he began, and you looked him in the eyes, "It's a lot right now, I know. But we're gonna get through it together, ok? This will all pass."

Your heartbeat quickened, his kindness was fueling that stupid little crush of yours.

"We better head back to Jessie," you said. So the both of you turned to walk away. Then he took your hand in his own and squeezed. How could he be this kind, this caring? And why was he so dead set on not letting you suffer alone? You had to ask. You took a deep breath. "Why are you putting up with this? With all the trouble I've caused us both recently?"

"Because I-," he stopped himself, and instead chose to rephrase whatever he was about to say, "Because that's what friends do... Let's go, can't keep Jessie waiting."

So the two of you walked towards Jessie's childhood home, hand in hand, like friends do. Just friends. But you wondered what he was about to say just a moment ago...

"Took you two long enough!" She said, hands on her hips. Wedge stood beside her, and Cloud was... leaning on the left side of the house? Was he not invited in? Knowing him, he probably didn’t want to go in, so you didn’t mention it.

As you two approached, Jessie turned around and walked up to the house. She stopped just steps away from the front door. Turning around, she made eye contact with you and Biggs.

"Just remember, my mom thinks me and you are dating," she said to Biggs, before looking back at you, "So none of that sexual tension stuff, ok?"

Your heart skipped a beat when she said that, and you took your hand out of his grasp. "What do you mean?"

"Don't act dumb," she rolled her eyes at you before knocking on the door.

You took a step away from Biggs, crossing your arms and looking in the other direction. His gaze hit the concrete below him, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“But there’s nothing between us,” Biggs said. Causing Jessie and Wedge to laugh.

“Whatever you say,” Wedge replied.

The front door swung open, revealing Jessie's shocked mother. Her expression changed to a smile as soon as she laid eyes on her daughter. You felt sorry for Jessie, you really did. Because she had to live a double life, lying to her ever-supporting mother who was blissfully unaware of Shinra's sins.

"Jessie, what a surprise!" She said, looking from her daughter to the many other faces on the other side of the doorframe, "And you brought your friends! Here, come inside!"

#biggs x reader #biggs #tifa lockhart #barrett wallace #ff7 biggs #ffviir #final fantasy vii #jessie rasberry #cloud strife #ff7

[jackalopefreckles]

I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

#TIRED #happy covid anniversary #time to post this without reading it lmao #long post #rambles

[ugly-potato-me]

6:30 PM

Changkyun leaned his body against the wooden door frame. His eyes closely watched her fumble around room as she was getting ready to end up sit in front her vanity, fixing her make up. He unwilingly fiddled with material of his black satin tie before tying it properly. As she lifted her arm to brush her hair away Changkun noticed little band aids on it. Just in few long strides he was behind her gently taking her hand in grip, making her jump at the sudden contact. She stopped, putting away her things and her eyes stared at his worried face.

“What happend?”

“Nothing. I tripped and my cousin grabbed onto my arm”

But before she could stop him and convince even more Changkyun’s fingers were already peeling off the sticky part carefully and so slowly to not hurt her skin. With every inch of her skin he was exposing he could see more of it and in the end he revealed 4 deep half moons, circled with little brusises.

“I said that I tripped.”

“Baby...for me it’s made on purpose.”

She frowned, pulling her arm out of his hold. He sighed when she didn’t dare look at him again, her stare fixed on floor. She didn’t want to talk about it and Kyun knew it well. She didn’t like talk about her family. It was getting out of control if she was getting hurt like that and he wanted help. He wanted to protect her since she meant so much for him. She was his everything. Changkyun grabbed onto her shoulder turning her to face him. He kneeled down, taking ahold of her smaller hands, thumbs softly brushing over skin.

“Was it the reason you wanted me to go to my parents?”

“How did you know?”

“I just kinda put these two.”

“It’s just my cousin did it out nowhere.”

She saw him press his lips together and take deep breath to calm himself from the anger that was bubbling up im his chest. It felt heavy for him that someone wanted to hurt her. Both of them knew that now he won’t let that situation slide.

“Was it because you told them that you’re pregnant?”

“No...I...Changkyun...I couldn’t. They would have ask so many questions about you and somehow it would turn the wrong way and they would say bad stuff...”

Chankgyun dropped his head feeling defeated. He knew it was hard for her to fight against her own family and he was so lucky that his own accepted news without any problem. He took another deep breathe to clam himself completly before pulling his body up and wrap his arms around her.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll come with you”

“No...I don’t want you to hear any of that.”

“Baby stop. I’m coming.”

***

Her hands fumbled with black material of her flowy dress. She stood in corner of room waiting for Kyun to catch up as he was meeting everyone slowly. Finally he walked to her, his arms sneaking around her waist, both large hands resting on her barley showing belly. Changkyun smiled to himself at the thought of having a their own family but soon his smile faded as he felt her shiver against his body. He could tell it was her anxiety coming up.

“Baby please calm down. Everything is okay.”

“I don’t want to be there.”

Changkyun pushed her hips signaling her to turn around to face him not even leaving his arms which were secure around her. But she didn’t even try look at him what she usually did as she was anxious. Kyun’s thumb smoothed over her baby belly calming both of them. 

“Baby you need to calm down it’s not good for any of you. You want our princess save, right?”

“A baby?!”

Loud scream tore through room making her step closer and Changkyun to tighten his hug around her. Her reaction gave it all away and he didn’t need any explanation to that. Surprisingly he was calm, very calm.

“Yes a baby. Like a tiny human. She is pregnant with MY child and you don't have anything to say about that, Not even a single word.”

“I do...but who anyway are you?!”

“Changkyun. I’m her fiance.”

“Oh...I’m..”

“I know who you are. That’s why I said what I said.”

He watched the woman walk away, stomping angry as he calmly won the argument. He smiled. He looked down expecting her smile with him but insead she hid her face in his chest.

“They won’t let us live now.”

“Should we leave?”

“Yes.”

“Okay let’s go.”

Kyun’s hands softly landed on her hips, guiding her through the crowded room, beign extra carefull not letting her bump into anyone or other way. Changkyun was similng happily, showing off his dimples to everyone and apologizing for leaving. He wasn’t acting any different of how he was when they were alone. He used to be overprotective at times but just if there were people who he didn’t trust. His big calloused hands flew in front of her, the gentlest touch pushing her behind his back acting as shield.

“Don’t touch her.”

Changkyun himself got surprised over how scary his deep voice came out. He felt her hand on his shoulder in comforting manner. He would’t hurt anyone nor would argue but he wouldn’t let anything more happen to her.

“Changkyun let’s just go.”

Her fingers interlocked with his, giving his hand a squezze to calm him down even if it wouldn’t work. But it did. Changkyun turned around to check on her, was about to ask if something was wrong but instead meet her eyes. She smiled shyly making him swoon. Just her existence made him calm

“Yes. Let’s just go baby.”

This time he pulled her behind himself, still shielding her from everyone. He helped her to dress and even jumped to her when she tried to tie her shoes, scolding her lightly and making her laugh. Differently went whole way back home. Changkyun became awfully quiet it was not like him. She winced as he slammed car door shut. She sat still inside giving him moment to chill before she walked into their apartment. As she walked inside she found his black tie thrown on floor in hallway not far away was his jacket. Changkyun indeed was still mad. She found him in bedroom sitting on matress, his hair now being ruffled with white dress shirt half unbuttoned, face in his hands. She walked towards him.

“I should have know. I should have believed you. Not make you go there. I should’ve take you to my parents.”

“Honey, that’s not your fault.”

“It is I should listen.”

His handsome face was stained with tears, new ones kept pilling up in his eyes. Changkyun’s arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. He felt her fingers comb his messy hair and leaving small kiss on top of his head.

“I’m so sorry baby.”

#lee jooheon #minhyuk #monsta x imagine #monsta x reactions #monsta x scenarios #yoo kihyun #wonho #im changkyun #monsta x jooheon #jooheon #shownu #hyungwon #changkyun

[rachiexx]

Hi everyone hope your all well and coping ok atm sorry I haven’t been on here in a little while I’m just in the midst of finishing off my uni work for this academic years including a 2000 word essay but once I’m done with that I will hopefully be posting more regularly. But that isn’t the main reason I’m posting today I’m doing the 30 minute movement challenge which is where you are challenged to move for 30 minutes everyday in may its in aid of the mental health foundation. This cause is important to me because movement actually changed my life in terms of my own mental health as I personally suffer from anxiety and had ptsd due to losing my dad at the age of 7 but not dealing with that grief until I was 18 which is when I went to councilling and as I started to feel better through that they suggested exercises and I knew that I loved dance and gymnastics when I was younger so that’s when I started to reignite my love for those only this to me it was Pilates and yoga instead of gymnastics which I still practice almost daily now. And during lockdown I’ve been doing dance as my main form or cardio fitness and I love because it puts me in such a good mood even if im feeling a bit down or anxious beforehand. So I hope that sharing my own story of how exercise has helped me manage my own mental health I hope that I have encouraged you to join in or if not I would be ever so great full of you could if you are able to give anything you can even if it’s just a few pence to this wonderful charity that I think is doing such important work during this difficult time!! #mentalhealth #fitness #grief #support # self care #movement #movementismedicine #staystrong #30minutesofmovementchallenge #personaltrainer #personaltraining https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/rachel-vasselin?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=rachel-vasselin&utm_campaign=pfp-share&utm_term=ebce61277a004628a8eccd6805db5f88 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_pR_FLBR6M/?igshid=1gphig5ikif4y

#mentalhealth #fitness #grief #support #movement #movementismedicine #staystrong #30minutesofmovementchallenge #personaltrainer #personaltraining

[eliphante123]

meet Taniya the lion

Name: Taniya Kalisha

Nicknames: Tachan, Ta-nyah, little cub (Leona)

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Race: Lion

Height: 5 ft 1

College: Night Raven College

Dorm: Savanaclaw

Year: 2nd

Job: dorm assistant & peacemaker (dorm mates)

Family:

Father

Mother (decease)

Uncle

Aunt

3 cousins

Quote: a dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work

Goals: strong, happiness, and become a greatest sorceress

Personality: She is kind and hardworking that likes to learn more about magic, helping out with everyone who are in trouble, and opens up to every old/new students of meeting new friends. Before she came to Night Raven College, she used to be shy and intimidated lion who gets really nervous of talking to everyone but as she was accepted, she became confident and honest with her words. She’s not like the rest of savanaclaw students that supposably hot-headed, rowdy, and hooligan of wanting a fight with other students, she is consider to be calm or more like a peacemaker to them but she can be a bit hot-tempered, too if they try something to pissed her off. When it comes to work of being savanaclaw’s dorm assistant that Leona assigned her to be, she’s very serious about her job and wanted to get her work done, perfectly by writing a to-do list of tasks, attendance, errands, keeping savanaclaw dorm from chaos, organize/fixing the facilities from damage, checking out the students, and etc. before going back to her studies or spending her free time in her dorm room. Taniya has a phobia of flying, which brings her to be a scaredy cat of attending flying class by skipping class or running away; even when her classmates, including Ashton, tried to drag her out from her room. Although, she may have a weakness. When something happens that reminds of her past, she fell disorientated of having a mental breakdown by repeated saying “Im sorry for being existed” that she would gladly die for them. After that happened, she went back to her normal self and telling them to forget what she’ve said by reassuring that it was her acting skills. She has a hungry glutton for meat that she goes fully hyped of wanting to eat and with that kind of energy, she always get easily fooled by her friends pranks. Her insecurity of being small which made her very sensitive and everyone at college thinks she’s a kid or a freshman despite that she’s actually 2nd year. If anyone made fun of her height, they’ll feel her dark aura with a sarcastic smile to threat them by scratching their faces or bite their arms and legs off with her pointy buck tooth.

Likes: MEAT!!! ALL KINDS OF MEAT, desserts, peace, magic, animals, adventure, strolling/running around the campus, jokes, good grades, break, getting the work done, studying, friends and helping others

Dislikes: fish, calling short, get into fights, flying (especially with brooms and magic carpet), failing, teasing, her dorm mates, Leona, losing someone dear, mess, and evil magic

Favorite color: yellow, green, and blue

Hobbies: running, reading, sports, magic, cleaning, and parkour

Skills/Abilities: martial arts, potion making, levitation, acting, sense of hearing, casting spells, talking to animals, and speed

Backstory: 

She was born and raised as a sweet girl and lived a happy life from an isolated house, far from town with her parents until her mother passed away since she was 5. Her mother’s death cause her to be depressed and downhearted for the pass few years. Both of them were poor and grew up in tough life where Taniya was doing the household chores all by herself while her father was busy his full-time work. Every children in town and school were afraid of her as they keep themselves away from Taniya because of her form and proves that she’s actually a lion which brings the children into thinking that lions are a vicious and dangerous animals. Even if she try being nice to the children by telling them that she won’t hurt them but they end up running to their parents then accused her for pretending to be nice, so she can lure them for being her food. The townspeople believes them and begins to be afraid of her so they treated Taniya and her dad like an outcast by throwing rocks at them and badmouthing them. They didn’t want her to be around the town so they told her that she doesn’t belong here and rather live in the outskirts and die. With that happened, they made her to become timorous and not wanting to make friends with anyone but instead, talking to animals from the woods. Everything that she’ve been through, Taniya grew tired, out of frustration and decided to take her own life from all the pain and torments that inflicts her. Out of anger, she accidentally uses her levitation spell on a boulder then crumbled into a million pieces, which shocked her. She asked her father about what happened though he knew and waited for it to happen. It reveals that her mother was one of the noble family that inherits special powers and her family has an outstanding social status throughout the region. On the other hand, her father and his family works as their servants. When two of them meet, they fell in love at first sight and they became very close, together for few months. The servant propose the noble daughter in marriage but both of their parents didn’t approve their relationship because of their social standards. So, her mother and father decided to run away from them and live their own happy life. Taniya didn’t know that her mother was a sorceress in the first place. Her father didn’t tell her that because they thought she doesn’t have powers for a long time so they decided to keep it a secret until the time comes but if her mother has powers then Taniya should have powers, too. After long years of practice, she was able to master some of her magic, however, it wasn’t enough for her. She told her father that she needed to get fresh air from practicing magic for almost everyday so she wanted to cool herself off. As she leaves her father and her home behind, Taniya decided that she could take a stroll to the woods; she walks further and further, deep in the woods without being mindful of her surroundings until she gotten herself lost. With fear and anxiety, she tried tracing her foot steps from where she went but unfortunately, she found nothing of her home or town except trees and night sky. She was beginning to lose hope until a mirror appeared infront of her. She wonders why would there be a mirror in the middle of the woods? could it be that someone left it here? if that what it is then shouldn’t be anyone here to take it back. She took a good look at the mirror to see a reflection of herself but as she moves closely, she was sucked inside the mirror and found herself in a different area that she’s not familiar with. Then a mysterious man with a black bird mask offers her a hand and by surprise, he tells her that she’ve been accepted to his college named “Night Raven College” and that’s where her college story begins.

Facts:

She’s anxious of making new friends and thinking that everyone aren’t interested of her

Everyone at night raven mistaken Taniya as 1st year of how short she is and doesn't like being called like that. 

She works with Leona & Ruggie as their dorm assistant on helping out their CHAOTIC dormitory. If anything happens to her dorm mates, she would gladly helps them by talking about their problems (though they don’t want to talk but she persistently did) or drags them to the infirmary and treat them with aid. She doesn't mind helping the people she hate as long as preventing them from hurting others & themselves. When there's a fight going on, she rushes between the two or more oppressor to break off their feuds and scolds them for fighting without a reason. Her dorm mates finds her annoying and persistent for acting like a peacemaker but if it weren't for her, there wouldn't be a problem at their dorm.

She would do anything to avoid Ashton's class by making up lots of excuses or shut herself in her room until it ends even it means failing her grades.

Just like Ruggie's gluttton of food, her favorite is meat.

She doesn't like her dormitory because according to the tw anthology, every students are hot-headed and likes getting into fights just for being tough which makes it annoying and troublesome to deal with them over and over again but somehow, she's happy that she fits in with her dorm mates and getting to know everyone especially that everyone are furries (i forgot how to call it) just like her.

Taniya wasn't a fan of fish and never eats one. Although, she DID eat once but she finds it very weird for her taste buds including the rotten smell and because of that, she doesn’t want to step foot on Octavinelle dorm. (she doesn’t trust them because she smells fishy about Azul, Jade, Floyd, and the rest of their dorm mates.....I'm sorry but seriously, she doesn’t trust them)

She’s not interested about having a relationship (that’s a lie) and rather help them have confident of confessing their crushes but if any boy wants to win her heart, they need to do better than giving chocolates & flowers and saying sweet words or else she might deliberately friendzoning them because this feline won’t be easy to fall for. To her, she’s really clueless when it comes of being loved but even if she DOES like someone, she won’t admit to her friends/spouse that he’s not enough for her or act a bit classic tsundere (you baka! obviously it’s-)

What everyone didn’t know that she also have a dark side but she always keep her mental at state

#Taniya Kalisha #wow brain u really did a very long description #ta-nyah #give me more criticism pls #WARNING: BAD ENGRISH ARERT #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland

[banghyung]

happy (f)

word count - 1.5k

warnings - fluff, tsundere!sunwoo

member - Sunwoo of The Boyz

request - “can u do a tsundere sunwoo fluff where the shy reader and him both wont admit they like eachother and in the end they kiss or something idk asdfgkl i love ur work and love cliche anime shit oof”

a/n - ahhhh thank you so much! I thought this would be a good scenario to try a new style, I hope you like it! :D

sunwoo?

yeah, you know sunwoo

everyone knows sunwoo

most know him as that hot guy that walks around school with a resting bitch face

you know him as that hot guy that sulks in the corner of music comp

what you don’t know is that he’s actually the softest bean

he had to bribe his friends with a month’s worth of food so that they wouldn’t blow his cover

“I just wanna be edgy foR ONCE”

“Sunwoo you cry watching romance movies”

“and when you see cute pictures of animals” 

“and-”

“THE WHOLE SCHOOL DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT”

hyunjae and eric still laugh when they see him walk through the halls like he owns the place

sunwoo, ya know the hardass that he is, oftentimes comes home and guSHES over you

“hYUNGs Y/N was wearing the cutest outfit today I walked into class and almost started yelling”

“you mean like you’re yelling now?”

“shut up eric no one asked you”

despite how much you made him melt inside

he always kept up his dark, mysterious persona

and no matter how hot you thought he was

you were always too shy to talk to him

besides he has the whole school drooling after him, why would your attention in particular be anything special

you stopped any feelings from growing for that reason

until

you’re walking home after getting off work late one night when you hear a familiar voice coming from an alley

“come here kitty kitty, i just want to pet you”

out of sheer curiosity, you peeked your head into the alleyway 

and who did you find?

none other than Mr. Edgy himself, Kim Sunwoo

“stop running away from me I just want tO LOVE YOU”

“Sunwoo?”

he whipped his head around, scaring the cat more and causing it to leave various gashes in sunwoo’s exposed arm before running away

“oh my god are you okay??” you ran up to him and held his arm gently in your hands as you looked at the various cuts

sunwoo, speechless, just kinda looked at you like :O

“wow it got you pretty good”

edgywoo finally came back to his senses and pulled his arm out of your grip

“yeah i’m !!! fine!!!”

you’ve never heard a more forced laugh in your entire life

“right,,,,,,,,,well i live close by why don’t you just come with me and I can clean your arm up because it’s bleeding pretty bad”

sunwoo, still staring at you only a little, only noticed the blood dripping down his arm after you said something

cue hardass!sunwoo jumping around in panic 

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IM BLEEDING WHAT THE FU-”

only calms down when you put your hands on his shoulders

“come on” 

you grab his hand and start pulling him in the direction of where you live

sunwoo just trailed along, his jaw practically dragging on the ground as he looked down at your hand holding his

he was speechless the entire walk to your apartment

even after you let go of his hand

he tried to pull himself together 

but for some reason his heart was beating really fast and his mouth was dry???

you chalk it up to he’s in shock because he obviously doesn’t know how to handle the sight of blood

so when you reach your door and he still hasn’t said a word, you’re worried he’s about to pass out

you pull him into the apartment and quickly push him into the bathroom

the entire time you’re scolding yourself because you were supposed to clean yesterday after class

but instead you took a nap 

and NOW look

there was a hot guy in your apartment

along with the 2 weeks worth of clutter that you put off because of studying

anyways,,

you closed the toilet and sat him down, grabbing your first aid kit from under the sink

as you start to clean up his arm you attempt to make small talk to keep your mind from hanging on the fact that THE hottest boy on earth was currently in your bathroom 

“so why exactly did you think that chasing a stray cat was a good idea?”

he sucked in a breath harshly as your cloth ran over the wound

“i just,,,,,,wanted to pet it” 

you nodded in understanding as you finished cleaning his arm

“there, all done.”

you both stood up and you walked him towards the door, sunwoo finally being able to think clearly enough to once again to resume his edgy persona

“i guess i’ll see you monday then” you said as he walked out of your apartment

he nodded before muttering a soft “thanks” and walking off

leaving you with a heart doing backflips and the sudden urge to clean your apartment from top to bottom

as the weekend passed you grew more and more anxious for monday

what were you supposed to do???

ignore him and pretend like nothing happened?

make a joke about possible rabies and risk getting hit??

???????

you settled on a happy medium

if sunwoo noticed your existence in any way - you would respond

if he didn’t - then it was just another school day 

although, you were a little disappointed when you were walking out of music comp and he hadn’t even spared a glance in your direction

resigned to your fate, you realized that it was just another one-sided crush 

and you forgot about it

until you were leaving work late once again

and stumbled across a stray sunwoo hovering awkwardly in the same alley way that had brought you together before

“are you looking for that cat again?” you asked, catching him by surprise

“no. i was out walking and remembered this was about the time you got off work the other day and i didn’t want you to walk home by yourself”

you tried to control the incessant fluttering of your heart

but couldn’t help the blush that spread on your cheeks

you were just thankful that it was nighttime

“oh,,,,,uh thank you”

you walked home in silence once again, but you were grateful for the company

you hated walking alone in the dark

after you reached your apartment building you muttered a quick thank you to sunwoo before going to head inside

“wait”

at his words, you turned back around 

“give me your phone number” 

you looked at him in shock, your jaw dropping slightly as you fumbled around for your phone

you handed it to him so he could put his number in

your mouth was suddenly really dry for some reason and you couldn’t quite get words out

after he had put his number in and texted himself from your phone he handed it back

“text me whenever you have to work late, I’ll walk you home.”

and then he left

leaving you wheezing on the stairs

but this was the routine you fell into

sunwoo met you by the alley every night that you had to work late and walked you home

but he would still barely acknowledge your existence in school

you found comfort in this, though

and walking home with sunwoo became the highlight of your week

you were looking forward to it the entire time that you closed up at your job

finally yelling a “I’m heading out” to your boss after all of the work was done

walking out, you opened your phone to see that sunwoo had texted you

‘something came up. be safe walking home’

you sighed and shoved your phone in your pocket

disappointment crept its way up your throat as you thought about how stupid you were for catching feelings for a guy that was still so out of your league

tears were almost

ALMOST

about to spill as you reached your apartment building

you grabbed for the door handle as you heard someone yell your name from behind you

you turned around, seeing sunwoo run towards you

“Sunwoo?? what the hell are you doing???”

when he finally reached you he bent over, trying to catch his breath

“i’m sorry that i couldnt walk you home” he began after he finally regained control of his breathing

you looked down at your feet

“its okay-”

you were interrupted by sunwoo yelling “I like you a lot”

you looked up at him, dumbfounded

“you,,,,,,what?”

“i like you a lot. I have for a while, actually. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

you laughed in shock, causing sunwoo to look at you in amusement

“you,,, WHAT?” you laughed out

he stepped closer to you

“I like you. You’re the cutest person i’ve ever seen in my whole life. From the way your eyebrows scrunch when you concentrate in class to the way that you always stare at the sky like it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen when I walk you home, you make my heart do this really weird thing and at first I thought it was anxiety but my friend Sangyeon told me I was stupid and then I realized that its just because I like you, a lot.”

You stared at him, taken aback by his sudden confession.

“I like you too.”

“you,, what”

“We’re not doing this again-”

you were interrupted by sunwoo pressing his lips against yours

“You don’t know how happy that makes me,” he whispered against you

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him again.

“You don’t know how happy you make me.”

#mine #request #banghyung.txt #the boyz sunwoo #kim sunwoo #sunwoo imagines #the boyz imagines #kpop imagines #the boyz scenario #sunwoo fluff #the boyz fluff #kpop fluff #kpop tsundere

[borderline-off-fangame]

Birb answers random questions you probably thought about asking!

Might as well do this. *shrug emoji* 

Q: When did you start working on Borderline?

A: September 18th, 2015 is when I sort of started working on Borderline? beforehand I actually wrote a fanfic.. it was terrible.. then again, the first few updates even more terrible. It’s been 3 years since I started working on it, and I’ve made quite a lot of progress over the course of a year. 

Q: What do you use to make assets? 

A: Sai to draw, and gimp and paint.net to save them in 8-bit format (if it has textures, use gimp. paint.net just.. fucks it up even if you lower transparency on that bitch). For voices and edits, I use audacity, and my laptop mic to record my voice.. not sure what wolf uses to make their music, you might have to ask them, as for chii, she doesn’t use sai, i know she uses medibang now??? again, ask them!!

Q: What got you to write the story in the first place? 

A: uuuuu.. too much fangames inspired me to make my own thing. It wasn’t as much solid as it was, but the premise was still the same: Max has to deliver food to the Guardians. Of course, I had to make several changes to the story, because the first variation, you already knew what you had to do. In the current version, Max has no idea why Puppeteer is there, and what their intention is, other than to help you with your job. There might be more changes to the story in the future, probably minor changes and shit like that, but the main premise still stays the same!

Q: You accept cameos in your game?

A: YES, ABSOLUTELY, GIVE ME YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT NOW AND I WILL EMBED THEIR CHARACTER FILES INTO MY GAME FOREVER!! ... yes, yes I do actually! From time to time, I do accept cameo appearances in my game, but these cameo appearances don’t like.. uuuh.. how to put this. usually cameo appearances are done where like the character simply exists and doesn’t contribute anything other than just.. existing. In Borderline however, each cameo has it’s own purpose in the game, as I want the cameos to DO SOMETHING other than just stand idly and exist, so of course, each cameo is given a purpose. So when you give me your character, I make sure to do them a lot of justice!

Q: Can we use your assets? 

A: I’d rather you ask first, but chances are that I would say no, and instead would offer to make assets for you. Even with school, I have lots of time on my hands and always need some kind of excuse to get out of my comfort zone and do stuff. I also make free assets from time to time, so you’re allowed to use those as long as you provide credit. In short, if you want some assets, don’t hesitate to ask me to make you some assets. Again, it gives me an excuse to do stuff.

Q: Are you in need of aid or suggestions maybe?

A: ... always! I’m just either too anxious to ask for help, or I’m unsure of how to organize myself and tell people what I am in need.. The most important thing I am ALWAYS in need of are beta-testers, and of course, the more the merrier! Not everyone might point out the same bugs as everyone else when they play my game, and most of the time I beta-test the game.. every. single. time I set up an event to MAKE SURE it works the way I want it!! ...But sometimes I happen to miss a couple.. or maybe a little bit more. (and I burned myself out doing that oops.) But even if you decide to offer your help, I’d be utmost grateful! 

Q: Is your game crossover friendly?

A: The fuck you saying, Borderline is the biggest crossover you’ll ever get to play! ...Yes my game is crossover friendly dun worry! ;w; Not sure why I’d answer that question but if you’re curious, refer to two questions above (the cameo one).

Q: Where do we report bugs?

A: You can use the submit box to report any bugs you find. If possible, provide a screenshot and submit it there. You can also personally IM me if you feel comfortable ;w; Just please.. be specific when you’re reporting a bug. I really can’t fathom at all, as I’m but a slow dunce and might not understand what you’re saying at first... I’msosorry!!!

Q: What program are you using to make the game?

A: Rpgmaker 2003. It’s only 20 bucks both on steam and on the official site (doe I did buy it from the official site cuz steam is hecc.. and my laptop can only handle so much. :’3) 

Q: I am stuck somewhere, and I need help!

A: There is a solution folder which can be found within the game, not only does it contain images, but it also contains videos as well.. Remind me to uh.. fix a couple of dem.. puzzles.. yes.. 

Q: Is it okay to make fanart/ask/rp blogs of your characters? 

A: Why yes, it’s actually okay! I really appreciate the gesture! For art, because the tagging system (on tumblr) can’t get any more wonkier than it is, so if I don’t see something that you drew for me, please don’t feel bad! It’s just tumblr is fucking garbo. :’3333 Instead, you can use the submit box or IM me. If it’s of lewd nature, I ask of you to NOT DRAW THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS IN LEWD IMAGERY (and I am copying this from the main blog): Basically the protagons of the game (Max is ace who shames people for fun, doesn’t care about sex at all, Sam is a fucking child, Seneca is not even my own character, Puff is also ace and very sex repulsed, and Aleyes is.. he’s not a tentacle monster that’s for sure.), Asriel (He might be his own character, but.. please don’t fuck the goat!! He’s supposed to be innocent!!!!), Baka (not even mine), Pipscrap (not even mine)., Now.. Regarding ask/rp blogs however, I am okay with it, but do consult with me about it (hey, those are my children, I wanna interact with my own children!!) Plus, I can provide you with a bit of an in-depth detail regarding the characters so you know what’s up.. Which brings another question to light.

Q: Can we ship <insert character here> with <insert character here>???

A: I’m a thotticus for shippings, but I’m a huge ass sucker for chemistry(tm) and relationship development between two or more people! I really wanna see what y’all can come up with really so go crazy!! But, keep in mind..

There are... restrictions however.. mostly with Max and Puff who are in a canonical relationship; this should also apply for AU’s as well, please pleaaaaaase don’t ship them with any other characters other than each other! Not only because I can’t see those two being shipped outside their pairing, but also because their relationship is very critical to the lore itself! So.. please be respectful of my decision! ;; There are other restrictions, but I won’t list them here, because we’d be here for an eternity. ;; Just don’t do illegal shit that can get you called out or worse.. please do ask for restrictions.. ;; 

Q: Is it okay to add Easter Eggs/references regarding your game or your characters in our work? 

A: I’d cry? I’d appreciate you ask me about it first so we can consult and shit, but I’d be hella fine with that!!

Q: You inspired me to start my own game!

A: I know it’s not a question, but I can’t just shrug this one off, please excuse me while I go and scream into the void! *sniffs* I am glad that my work actually inspired you to make your own game, and I cry?? Like I literally feel the feels?? <333333

#Mama Birb speaks #personal inquiries

[virgilthepuppet]

Mask

TW- cutting, Roman being a dick,

Ships- Analogical and Royality

Word Count-740

(Tags- @bunny222 @virgils-a-mood )

Chapter 3-

Virgil and Patton both sighed at their troubles with relationships. 

"I'm sorry." Patton avoided eye contact.

"Sorry? For what?" Virgil questioned. "You haven't done anything."

"I'm sorry because Logan just got mad at you because you care about me. He's right you shouldn't care about me, it doesn't matter." Patton began, then started choking up. "You should have just let him care."

"No, Patton, he was wrong. I'm allowed to care about my friend, aren't I?" Virgil replied.

"Go talk to him. Please. I don't want to know that you two are fighting because of Roman and I."

Virgil rolled his eyes and went to Logan's room.

"Hey." The anxious side broke the silence. "I'm sorry for being more invested in their relationship than in ours." He said sarcastically, leaning his head on Logan's shoulder.

Logan sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have accused you of something so far fetched."

"So you mean something with an infinitesimal chance of being true?" Virgil teased.

Logan could barely hide the smile on his face. "Yes. I suppose that is another way to word it."

Virgil was so relieved that Logan wasn't mad. He didn't know what he would have done if Logan was angry with him, because it's never really happened before. Regardless, Virgil didn't have to worry about that right now, even though worrying is what he did best.

"Well, should we go see if Patton and Roman are doing okay?" Logan spoke up after a few moments of silence.

"I assure you, they aren't. Patton is upset because Roman is being a jerk, and Roman is being a jerk because Patton is upset. It's a whole cycle of tears and screaming matches, I don't know how you plan on observing that." Virgil replied.

"You're right. In that case, it would most likely be in our best interest to leave them alone." Logan paused after he finished his sentence. "Or..."

"Or what? Please don't tell me you're going to meddle in their relationship because you really can't do that." Virgil freaked out.

"Verge, I'm not an idiot." Logan laughed. "Let's invite them both for a movie night and maybe the quality time between the four of us will fix it up. And maybe Roman will come to his senses that neither you nor Patton are aiding Deceit in whatever his motives are."

"Okay. You're probably right. Roman will have had time to blow off steam and Patton will have had time to cry it off." Virgil stood to leave. "I just hope this works."

A few hours later, Logan summoned the other sides (minus Deceit) into their commons and presented an expertly crafted pillow fort, curtesy of Virgil and Logan.

“Well, though I am currently feeling jittery and not very glittery, I will join you. But ONLY if we watch Disney movies.” Roman answered. The other Sides were genuinely shocked that Roman agreed to it. Maybe Logan was right and Roman DID come to his senses.

After Cinderella and the Lion King, an unexpected visitor showed up.

“So lovely to see you all.” Deceit hissed at everyone. “Especially you, Anxiety.”

Virgil avoided eye contact by turning his head from Deceit. Logan was clearly ready to defend his boyfriend when Roman spoke up.

“Oh, saying hi to Virgil? I guess I was right all along, you two are old pals, hm?” Roman taunted.

Virgil left without a word, causing Patton and Logan to be enraged.

“Roman why do you have to be like this?” Patton yelled from the other side of the couch. “Why do you have to ruin everything today? You accuse both me and one of our best friends of working with a cold-blooded asshole and then you verbally attack Virgil twice in a day? Just stop.”

Logan and Roman were shocked at Patton’s anger and foul language.

Roman collected himself, but in his fit of rage at everyone, he couldn’t control what he was saying. “You know what? Get over yourself. Why don’t you just go cut yourself like Virgil does? In fact, that’s probably what he ran away to do. Go ahead and be weak like him. Honestly, Logan I don’t know why you deal with him.”

Logan, eloquent as he was, could not collect the words to call Roman out on this. So instead, Logan fulfilled what Virgil wanted to do earlier that day. Logan grabbed Roman by the collar of his shirt and punched him.

(A/N) OH MY GODDDDD HI IM BACK. WITH A NEW SS VIDEO COMING OUT TOMORROW I FIGURED I SHOULD BRING SOMETHING BACK TOO!! IM SORRY THIS WAS DELAYED FOR LIKE 4 MONTHS BUT IM BACK!!!

#deceit sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #ss fanfiction

[chuckaliclous]

Awkward//Reddie

CH 4

CH 1 CH 2 CH 3

Tag list: @eddie-kaspjack @plsshutuprichie @eggosoutfor011 @t-rash-m-outh @strangerthoughts @stenbroughreddie @greywatertrashmouth @second-fannypack

okay folks this is the angsty chapter and i would say im sorry but im just not here we go fellas

Chapter Four: Unfaithful

Richie sat in his living room, gazing out the window at the melting snow on the sidewalk that he would have to shovel later for the buck his dad had promised him. He sighed, returning his attention to his homework on his lap, only wishing Eddie was here to play with his hair as he did the work.

A small crash on the front lawn startled Richie back to reality and he snapped his head up to look out the window, only to see the one and only Stanley Uris throwing his bike down and running to the door. Confused, he went to answer the rapping at the door from his best friend. He flung the door open to discover Stan’s face red and blotchy, tear tracks stained on his cheeks.

“Stan?” Richie questioned. It wasn’t odd for Stan to show up at the Tozier household, but he usually calls first, letting Richie know that he’d be there in exactly seven minutes, as always. And he never left his bike on the grass like that, he always has to use the kickstand or his OCD goes crazy.

“C-Can I come in?” He pleaded. He resembled a sad puppy dog that desperately needed attention at the moment. Richie nodded and Stan threw himself on the couch, trying so hard to hold back tears they both knew were coming.

Richie awkwardly took a seat by him and placed his hand on Stan’s back. “What’s going on, Stan?” He asked, concern lining his face as he looked Stan in the eyes. Richie wasn’t the best with friendly affection in times like these; he only knew how to be with Eddie in his vulnerable times. Even if Stan was his best friend, he’d never seen his guard let down his guard this much. “Oh c’mon now, Stanny boy you can’t start crying or we’ll both be crying.” He smiled lightly, trying to make Stan reciprocate but getting nothing.

“Bowers…” He breathed, then began to cry again.

Richie jumped up, prepared to grab the first aid kit Eddie kept here. Not that he’d know what to do with it, but he could always try. “Shit. Are you hurt?” Stan shook his head and Richie sat back down, trying his best to comfort him. “What happened?” He asked in the most soothing and sympathetic voice Trashmouth Tozier could possibly choke out.

Stan took in a deep watery breath. “He called me a queer… and a fag. And told me I deserved to die like Adrian Mellon.”

“Mellon?” He asked.

“You know… the gay guy that got murdered.”

Richie gulped. “I’m sorry, Stan… but I mean, you’re obviously not, right?” He chuckled a little at the thought, before turning to see Stan’s completely stoic face. Richie wiped the smile off his own face very quickly. “Stan…, w-why didn’t you tell us?” Richie was completely shell-shocked. His own best friend couldn’t say what Richie hadn’t even had to to the Losers. Richie just showed up holding Eddie’s hand one day and never let go, telling anyone who had a problem with it to suck his dick.

“I don’t know,” He confessed, looking down at his hands. “I… was afraid.”

Richie laughed out loud without meaning to. “Stanley, do you even know how gay Eddie and I are? C’mon now. The only problem we’d have is competing to out-gay each other.”

Stan let out a small giggle under his breath, a rarity for whenever Richie made a joke around him. “You know what? You’re not so bad, Tozier.”

Richie felt a pang of anxiousness and guilt in his chest as he realized he was smiling at Stan the way he smiled at Eddie. He quickly  shoved the thought away. “You aren’t so bad yourself, Stanley Urine.” He found himself saying, causing the boys to crack up.

Stan looked up at Richie with huge blue eyes, not expressing sadness anymore. No, it was something more… something Richie was used to seeing in Eddie’s big brown eyes. But Richie wasn’t thinking about Eddie.

In one swift motion, Richie swooped in and his lips were suddenly on Stanley’s. Stan’s heart was beating out of his chest as his lips collided with Richie’s over and over again. Richie felt a wave of guilt overcome him, only to be replaced by excitement. He knew how Eddie’s lips tasted, how his body wriggled beneath him, how his gasps and moans would sound in his ear. But he didn’t know any of this about Stan. He’d never imagined it before, but now he kind of wished he had.

They were horizontal on the living room couch, Richie on top of Stan, Stan’s fingers running wildly through Richie’s knotted hair. Richie didn’t care if he left hickeys on Stan’s ivory neck; it was just begging to be stained by Richie’s chapped lips. Wait, what am I doing? Richie thought urgently, remembering the boy at home, probably puffing on his aspirator and waiting for Richie to call anxiously.

He broke away from Stan and tore himself off of him, standing up. “Holy fuck! This is bad. This is really bad. We did not just fucking do that shit!” Richie started pacing, his thoughts racing and not slowing down anytime soon.

Stan stood up and put his arms around Richie, causing him to recoil at Stanley’s gentle touch. “Hey,” He said softly. “It’s okay.”

Richie looked him in the eyes, as if for confirmation that he wasn’t the world’s biggest asshole at the moment. Somehow, against all the goddamn odds, he found it in Stan’s eyes.

“What Eddie doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

So this continued. For days. For weeks. For months on end. Richie would ditch Eddie at study hall for Stan, finding an empty classroom where he could leave even more hickeys on his neck, which none of the Losers suspected the culprit to even be a boy, let alone Richie. They didn’t ask many questions, they just laughed about it once in a while when a new hickey would appear, which was often.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Richie would breathe between kisses.

“Then why do your lips keep finding their way back to mine?” Stan would smirk back, causing them to lunge into even more hungry kisses.

Richie caught himself smiling between kisses. He never did that with Eddie anymore. Yes, he loved Eddie. He loved Eddie more than anything, that was true. But there was something about Stanley that Richie just couldn’t resist.

He loved it. He loved the rush of almost getting caught, the small flutter in his heart when the Losers mentioned to Stan whoever she was was a lucky girl, or when Eddie asked where Richie had been and Richie makes up some story and Eddie looks as if he almost doesn’t believe him. Richie loved the excitement.

Eddie had noticed something was… off. Something was wrong with his boyfriend, but he couldn’t tell you exactly what it was. Eddie noticed how he stopped meeting him behind the gym during study hall, and how he gave Stan a ride home after school instead of smoking with Beverly after he drove Eddie home. Which was fine, Eddie knew Richie had his own life and was allowed to have friends, and Eddie thought it was great that him and Stan were keeping up their best friendship status. That is, until he knew the truth.

It was a cool April day in Derry, and Richie drove Eddie home today, which made Eddie very happy since it was a seldom occurrence nowadays. Beverly was doing homework in the library with Ben so Richie wasn’t going to smoke today, which made Eddie even happier. All he cared about was making sure Richie was happy and healthy; which made Richie feel like even more of a jackass.

“I’ll call you when I’m done with homework, okay baby?” Richie smiled sweetly, kissing Eddie on the cheek tenderly as Eddie grabbed his things and opened the door to get out of the beaten up car.

“Okay.” Eddie smiled brightly at his boyfriend, the butterflies in his stomach still raging as always when Richie did so much as to touch him.

Richie drove the rest of the way home with a guilty conscience, in complete silence. No, he was not going to do homework. Instead, he was gonna do a little Jewish boy and lie to his boyfriend who loved no one but him. Richie hated himself. But he couldn’t help himself, either.

“Richie!” Stan waved from the lawn, his bike propped up beside him on the grass.

A smile spread across Richie’s face as he turned the car off and ran to embrace Stanley. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”

They plopped down on the couch, their usual place, and began doing what they always do. Stan’s body was on Richie’s, the body heat making sweat drip down Richie’s shoulders. Stan used to think it was gross, but oddly enough, he liked the smell of it. Only when it came from Richie though. But it wasn’t like he’d ever had that with anyone else.

Stan thought maybe he might be in love with Richie Tozier. Which made him anxious. Stanley struggled with anxiety his entire life, as well as depression that popped up when he was about 13, and decided to stay. He didn’t talk about it, but everyone knew about it. Just like everyone knew Eddie was gay before he even hinted at it, or how Beverly was a child of abuse, or even Richie and his parent issues. Stan always wanted to feel wanted, and needed, and loved. Stanley Uris always wanted to belong to someone, and have them kiss away the pain and whisper that it was all gonna be okay.

Meet me in the middle of the day, let me hear you say everything’s okay. Bring me southern kisses from your room. Meet me in the middle of the night, let me hear you say everything’s alright. Let me smell the moon on your perfume… The song echoed in Stan’s head as he felt the other boy’s lips give him confirmation that Stanley was capable of feeling happiness, which he hadn’t previously believed for a long time.

I can and I will be happy, He thought. With Richie.

But no, he couldn’t. Of course not. Because Richie was in love with Eddie, everyone could see how in love they always had been, even before they could see it themselves. Stan was hopelessly falling for Richie, and he knew he couldn’t have him. This isn’t a movie, Stanley. No matter how this ends, it’s gonna be bad. Probably for you.

Eddie thought it was a little weird that Richie didn’t want to do homework together like they always did. He seemed to want to be alone a lot lately, if he wasn’t with Stan. He was worried. Maybe his dad had said something that got to him, or maybe his suicidal thoughts had come back, or maybe he was hurting himself again, or maybe-

“Maybe I’ll just give him a call,” He whispered to himself and the empty kitchen, picking up the phone and dialing the Tozier household.

The ringing of the phone interrupted Stan and Richie, and Stan pulled away for a brief moment. “Let it ring,” Richie whispered seductively, grabbing Stan’s face eagerly and yanking it down to kiss him once more.

Eddie waited until he couldn’t just let it go on anymore and sighed to himself. Worrying was what Eddie Kaspbrak did best, and of course he was worried about Richie. He decided to pack up his school bag and head over to Richie’s anyway, maybe he’d be able to study with him a little.

Richie and Stan continued on the couch, unbothered. Richie had torn Stan’s shirt off, a little too eagerly, Stan thought, and Richie was down to his boxers. They didn’t think twice about Stan’s bike plainly left on the front lawn, nor about the door being unlocked. Until Eddie walked in.

“R-Richie? Stan?” Eddie’s incredulous voice rose from the silence.

The boys broke apart instantaneously, Stan shooting up so fast it made his head spin. Richie ran up to Eddie, who backed away from him. “Eddie! It’s not-”

“Not what it looks like?” Eddie finished for him. Hot tears welled up in his eyes now and threatened to stream down his face. “Of course it’s what it fucking looks like! Of course it is, Richie!” He turned to Stan, mortified. “And you, Stan? I thought we were friends!”

“We are friends, Eddie!” Stan’s voice cracked as he rushed to put his shirt back on.

“No! Friends don’t fucking do this to each other!” He finally broke, falling to the floor on his knees and covering his face in his hands as he sobbed. “How long?” He spat out in a defeated voice.

“What?” Richie whimpered, tears rolling down his face as well.

“How fucking long, Richie? How long have you been fucking him?” Eddie screamed, his face turning redder by the second.

The two boys stayed silent as Eddie wept. There was nothing to say. They all knew the unspoken answer, clear as day. Eddie just had never dreamed that’s what they spent all their time together doing. Because Richie would never hurt him; no, not his Richie.

“I don’t even know who you are, anymore.” Eddie regained his breath solidly and stood up, pointing an angry finger at Richie. “You’re not the fucking person I fell in love with. Not even fucking close.”

Richie gulped audibly, trying to come up with anything to say. All Richie knew was that now was not a time for jokes. “I-I’m sor-” He started, his voice cracking.

“You’re sorry?” Eddie huffed. “Sorry? You just broke my fucking heart, Richie! Just fucking smashed it to pieces!” Eddie began to cry again, and Richie inched closer to put his arm around him.

Eddie smacked his arm away. “No!” He shrieked, tears overflowing his tear ducts and dropping generously to the floor. “Do not fucking touch me!”

“But Eddie, I love you!” Richie shouted, lunging forward to pull Eddie into a hug.

Eddie then did the very thing he swore he’d never do. He slapped Richie Tozier straight across the face, and the three gasped as they heard the sickening smack that echoed throughout the empty house. Richie clutched his now burning red cheek with his hand, and Eddie leaned down to whisper, “Yeah, I used to love you too, Trashmouth.”

With that, Eddie was gone.

#awkward #richy writes #beep beep richy #reddie #reddie fic #reddie cheating #stozier #stozier fic #it #it 2017 #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #stan uris #stanley uris

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Taeyong

major: medical laboratory science 

minor:  mathematics 

sports: tennis team 

clubs: was a part of math club and won a regional competition when he was only a freshman,,,,the math dept begged him to switch majors but he said he wouldn’t be able to handle a degree that made him a teacher,,,,,because schools can be,,,,,,,a mess  

taeyong is like the model student and everyone in his major thinks he’s a genius,,,,,,,,,,,,but in reality he just stays up three nights in a row neurotically drinking coffee and listening to edm remixes of like jazz songs,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,like that is the Truth of his college life

was originally going to go into pre-med,,,,but when an emt came to visit and was like “sometimes blood just gets everywhere! and i mean EVERYWHERE” taeyong was like,,,,,,,,,,well he first got out his hand sanitizer and decided then and there that working with machines and in a lab was his aesthetic instead

having random people cough on you in the ER is not

like blood is cool in the study of hematology and taeyong will get enthusiastic over working with new specimens in his microbiology lab

but ,,,,,,, he’s a theory person,,,,,,he wants to help doctors figure out why someone is sick and then the doctors can treat them

taeyong is a-ok being behind the studying and lab work,,,,not on the front lines

which is baffling to most people because taeyong puts effort into going unnoticed but,,,,it’s Impossible to not notice him

even in his lab coat, thick framed glasses, and the usual perfectly bland outfit of black jeans and a button down,,,,,,someone might be like haha what nerd

but,,,,,,,one look at his face and it’s like WOAH WHAT 

and countless times on his way to his internship or when he’s out getting lunch wtih jaehyun and ten people will be like excuse me,,,are you a model? a site model? a idol? are u on some tv show?

and taeyong seriously doesn’t get why he gets asked this so many times,,,,every time humbly apologizing that he’s not the person they’re looking for and getting a little anxious when people are obviously taking photos of him

like the amount of times jaehyun has literally had to get up and sit in front of taeyong so people wouldn’t be noisy is insane

and the amount of times ten has started an argument on taeyong’s behave is even more because ten is always like taEYONG YOU HANDSOME FRIEND OF MINE I GeT THAT u R BEAUTiFUL but WhY DO peOPLE JusT DISREGARD UR prIVAC-

and taeyong always has to calm ten down but all of their friends agree that it’s super weird and gets out of hand

but taeyong is too nice to shut it down himself,,,,,so most of the time he slips on those glasses and a hat when he goes out and avoids looking people in the eyes

johnny once came over to his dorm and was like “bro i got you this wig. wear it if things get too creepy.” unfortunately the wig was the bright color red and mark was like hey johnny i know ur a senior and all but,,,,,,is ur head in the game,,,bro,,,please,,,

is the designated mom of his dorm’s floor because he has evERYTHING on hand from extra chargers, to a first aid kit, to pain killers

and every time someone comes into his room (taeyong begged for a single bed,,,,roommates can get a Bit) they’re always amazed at how a boy in college keeps his room sparkling clean

and i literally mean sparkling his bed sheets are white, his desk is completely free of everything except his laptop and a cup to hold pens in,,,,,his closet is organized by color: white, black, grey, and brown

and he has a little whiteboard where he writes due dates and everyone is like ur seriously a star student why cant i be clean and organized like u

except they don’t understand,,,anytime before finals the clean room turns into disarray,,,,,like taeyong literally pulls all his covers off the bed and takes power naps at his desk only to wake up with post-it notes stuck to his face

and when finals are over he goes on a cleaning spree in which he offers to do the laundry for everyone on his floor because it calms his nerves

he’s a sweet, polite, hard-working kid tbh with the face of an actual god which makes some people think he’s stuck up when he’s the absolute least from it

like taeyong is that kid that tutors his seniors for FREE in subjects they should be tutoring him in like what an angel?????/

anyway you’re taking organic chemistry with him this semester but the only problem is ,,,,,,you transferred in the middle of the year and therefore are completely falling behind

to the point where you don’t even care about saving your grade because no one wants to help and the teacher is super like “well,,,,,,,,,,do it urself im not doing it for u” kinda stick up their butt situation

so u start skipping class

because everything else ur doing fine in,,,,u have people sharing notes and teachers who get ur situation but organic chem????? the Devil

until one day as ur standing in line at the school cafe and u feel a tap on ur shoulder 

and u turn around to see this guy,,,,,who u know but ur not sure from where until he’s like “taeyong,,,,im in your organic chem class.” and you roll your eyes at the name of that class but then ur like sORRy,,,,,it’s just that class is so,,,,,

and he’s like “ive noticed you’ve stopped coming,,,,,is the material too hard?”

and you kind of are taken aback because this chem class isn’t ,,,,,,small it’s a lecture hall full of like 150 people and he noticed,,,,,,you?

but you shrug not wanting to come off like ,,,,, obvious and ur like “i transferred and a lot of things didn’t make sense,,,,so i gave up? ill just retake the class next semester.”

but taeyong frowns and for a moment you think to yourself: how does someone still look so attractive frowning wth

but ur like “it’s whatever, it can’t be helped.” but taeyong is like ,,,,,,,if,,,,if you still want help,,,,,,i can help you

and for a moment you’re gonna laugh because there’s like four weeks left of classes,,,,,,the only way to save your grade is to ace the big course final

but taeyong seems to fidget a bit when u don’t answer and he goes “b-but if it’s weird,,,,if i seem we,,weird,,,,,,im sor-”

and you’re like no no it’s not you,,,it’s just,,,how can u teach me so much in so little time ?? it’d be a lot of work on ur part and we don’t even know each other?

but taeyong seems unfazed by the amount of work,,,,tbh he smiles a little when u mention how it’ll take hard work and u dont know because ur new to the school but it’s because every1 always tells taeyong he does too much and works too hard,,,,,but to him it’s all fun like he has fun in his major

and he shakes his head and looks at you and again u catch urself sinking a little into his dark,,,pretty eyes and he’s like “im in ,,, if you’re in.”

and the line has moved up and the bored looking girl behind the register asks what you’d like to order and ur like ,,,,, one sec- and she’s like i don’t have time tell me so you say ur order,,,turn back to taeyong and ur like “ok,,,,let’s try.” and he’s like “meet me in the library at 8.”

and you watch him give a little bow and turn around and for a moment u cant be really sure that just happened,,,,,,,most people in college dont waltz up to others to offer to tutor them,,,,,

but as u pay the girl for ur coffee she goes “don’t try asking taeyong out. he never dates.” and ur like ????? what a guy like him definitely has a significant other????? right?????

so 8pm comes around and u bring a fresh notebook and the textbook u bought for the class and find that u dont even have to look for a seat because u can see taeyong already at one of the tables

and he’s got his lab coat over his chair,,,,his laptop open with some charts up and a heavy looking medical dictionary ,,,, he looks like a straight up doctor tbh 

and u sit down,,,startling taeyong who’s glasses slip down his nose just a bit until he’s chuckling and closing his laptop 

and u think how good of a tutor can he be to help someone as hopelessly lost as u,,,,,,,,,,,,but the minute taeyong begins to explain it’s like,,,,it’s like everything makes /sense/

nothing is complicated or abstract,,,,and u can’t help but be entranced by his smooth, slightly deep voice and the way he points out keywords and writes down formulas in near perfect handwriting 

like everything about him is so Professional he’s like,,,he’s like a professor,,,,

and it’s kind of super cute how when u ask him to repeat something he doesn’t get ticked off,,,no he gets excited because it’s obvious,,,,this is something taeyong loves

and at the end of ur first study session u feel so much better about everything

to the point that u even show up to ur class the next day and taeyong doesn’t look up from his notes,,,,,so u cant say hi but,,,,,suddenly it’s not like the teacher is talking nonsense

and every other day taeyong comes to the library to teach u,,,although he moves the time up to 10pm and ur not sure,,,maybe classes or clubs

and by the sixth time as ur packing up to leave taeyong goes “i see ur coming to class, that makes me happy.” and u don’t know why but,,,,,,,

just saying that,,,,,,,,it,,,,,it makes ur heart skip a beat

but u remember the words of the girl from the cafe about taeyong never dating and u itch to ask him,,,,but u don’t want to make this relationship more awkward

which is why the only time u do ask is when u end up in another class of urs partnered up with yuta and taeil,,,,two boys who immediately go “you’re the one taeyong is tutoring right?” and you’re like,,,yes??? and yuta scratches his head and is like “for organic chem or for immunology? or wait,,,,he’s giving someone tennis lessons too right taeil??” and ur like wow,,,taeyong sure helps a lot of people

and taeil nudges yuta but nods and is like “taeyong is really too nice for his own good,,,,,,,,,,” and u nod and try to focus on the project,,,but taeil gives u this like ???? knowing smile

and ur like ,,,, w-whats up and taeil is like “u want to know if taeyong is seeing someone?” and u straighten up because ur like ,,,,, UM,,, no-

and yuta laughs into his palm and is like “it’s ok,,,i know taeyong as a fellow pretty boy everyone always asks us that” and taeil rolls his eyes but he’s like “he’s not, he hasn’t dated anyone in college.” and from the shock on ur face yuta can only nod his head and go “i know,,,it shocks all of us,,,,,,hot girls and hot guys and everyone else all the hot people on campus have made moves on him but he just,,,,,,”

and yuta throws up his hands in defeat and taeil shrugs and for a second u think,,,,,,,,well what kind of chance to i stand,,,,,,,but u shake it off and ur like “maybe he’s just waiting!! he’s really nice i hope he finds someone.” 

and with that u leave after class,,,realizing that taeyong is helping u from the goodness of his heart,,,,,not because he might harbor something towards u,,,,and u need to accept that

but what u dont realize is that as u head toward ur dorm,,,,,taeyong is waiting in the library and when u don’t show up,,,,he goes into a panic

and the next day in organic chem he comes rushing up to

and for the first time his perfect face is scarred with worry and his hair is a mess and he looks like he hasn’t slept and he’s like,,,,,a,,,,are you ok?? and ur like yes wh- and he seems to calm down and even get embarrassed a bit as he steps back and is like “wi-will you come to the library tomorrow??” and ur like ofc omg 

and as ur trying to concentrate,,,u look over to see taeyong dozing off,,,,something he never does,,,,and u wonder why he didn’t sleep

and when u go for tutoring taeyong seems a little more reserved,,,,like usually if u make a joke he’ll laugh or if ur fingers brush it’s nothing

but now it seems like he’s keeping his distance,,,,,a bit more than usual and u want to ask if something is wrong,,,,,

so when ur done with the problem set he has and he gets up almost as if he’s in a hurry,,,,ur reach out and ask him if he’s ok and taeyong,,,looking down at your hand on his wrist ,,,, mumbles that u didn’t show up to tutoring so he thought he’d messed up but u explain that it just slipped ur mind,,,,,,taeyong could never do something wrong

and taeyong,,,,looks up at you and smiles just a bit and he’s like “if i do do something wrong,,,please tell me and ill fix it.”

and,,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,the pureness of his voice,,,,the way he’d gotten so worried over you,,,,,it makes your heart burst because where else could someone find such a damn near perfect boy

and before you can think and stop yourself from speaking you ask; “the final is in a week,,,,,after,,,,,would you want to go out?”

taeyong seems to need a moment to register what u mean,,,,but when he does,,,,it’s like all the heat in his body has rushed up into his face and he stutters over an answer until he just goes “im sorry,,,,,,,” and that’s enough for you to get the hint

you apologize at least ten times and ur like thIS is awkward,,,ill go and make a dash for the door as quickly as possible

because everything is so damn EMBARRASSING and ur like WHAT WERE U THINKING @ yourself the whole time u go to your dorm

and for a good hour u just lay down with ur head in ur pillow like gkhdlfjssdf whY DID I OPEN MY MOUTH

but taeyong,,,,,who also gets to his dorm just sets down his laptop and tries to think himself,,,why,,,,,,,why did he say im sorry?? when he wanted to say yes,,,,,

and the week goes by and the final comes and goes and at the end u want to ball ur eyes out because well one that final was hARD AS HELL but thanks to taeyongs help u feel like u did decently,,,,,but also the whole time u couldn’t help but look over at taeyong and not once,,,,,,did u guys cross eyes

and ur convincing urself that he’s forgotten about it,,,,,about you and helping you,,,and every night u spent in the library getting closer and god dammit if u hadnt gotten all worked up over him saying he was worried thiS wouldnt have happened

until you walk right into someone and they’re like “woah! watch yourself” and you look up to see the familiar face of taeil and ur like oh right whoops we got an A on our project did u get the email? and taeil nods but he’s like “more importantly,,,,,,,,hows taeyong?”

and ur like ?????????/ idk im not his frie-

and taeil is like ur not??? taeyong literally tutored u right after his internship for four weeks straight sacrificing his time for u and ur not even friends? doubt it

and ur like wait what

and taeyong is like yEAH why do u think u had to meet so damn late the poor guy had a class load + an internship in a lab + tutoring and believe me as kind as he is,,,,,,he wouldn’t go to such lengths for a stranger

and u can’t believe it,,,,like at all,,,,,,but u feel like such an asshole and ur like “do u know where-” and taeil is like “bus stop near the gym. he should be going there n-” and ur like thANKS SEE U LATER TELL YUTA WE GOT AN A BECAUSE HE NEVER CHECKS HIS EMAIL

and as u run u can see taeyong,,,holding his lab coat and his shoulder bag at the stop and u don’t know how much time u have till the bus comes

but when u show up in front of him,,,huffing and puffing taeyong immediately worries and tries to offer u his water and ur like no no listen to me 

and he’s lie ???? with wide eyes and ur like “im sorry. i never thanked u for tutoring me and we left of on an awkward note and it was sUPER embarrassing but if we could push it aside like i really like u,,,,,,,,but like i want to be ur friend first and foremost because i think ur great and u helped me pass that satanic class and i just didnt know u were staying up so late to tutor me and i just i have a lot more to say but most of all thank you so much taeyong. i appreciate what you did for me.”

and u cant believe u had enough breath for all that but taeyong,,,,taeyong is smiling,,,,,,,and it’s the smile that makes his usually stoic, handsome face turn somewhat childish and warm

and he puts his hand out to carefully take yours and he’s like 

“im happy i could help, but also i,,,,,,,,,”

and you think he’s holding ur hand in like ???A friendly way??? but taeyong is literally also shaking??? and ur like is he nervous???

but taeyong finally swallows the lump in his throat and goes “but also i don’t want to push what you asked me aside. i,,,,,,,i want to take you on a date,,,,,,,can i?”

and you can hear the bus approaching and you can see taeyong’s eyes flash between yours and the road and you know you need to answer

but ur like stuck and the bus doors open and taeyong is like “i need to let go but tell me-”

and he’s halfway up the steps when you get up into the bus with him and the driver is like ? and you lean up to kiss his cheek and you’re like 

“yes,,,,,,,please take me on a date. it would make me really happy.”

and the bus driver is like hello are u also getting on and taeyong turns cherry red but he tells u he’ll call - but wait ur number - and ur like oh !! message taeil he has it we were partners and taeyong is like ok!!

and the driver is like AHEM but this nice old lady is like “don’t ruin their moment”

and basically,,,,you get off the bus and wave to taeyong in the window as it leaves and practically skip back to school because oh my god the undateable taeyong,,,,,,just asked you on a dATE

and the date,,,,,,is so simple and sweet 

everyone thinks taeyong is some stuck up snob with high taste but nooooope in reality u two go to a cafe that specialize in board games and u guys play monoply on ur first damn date and then some connect four and when u beat him at jenga ur pretty sure he might cry

but ur like “taeyong,,,,,,top of ur major and yet,,,,,,,bad at jenga?” and he’s like !!!!!!!! im not rematch!!!!11

but u win again and poor taeyong has his head in his hands but he’s having fun and gladly does the penalty (which is buying u guys two more drinks)

and it’s like afterwords u learn that taeyong is not flashy,,,,,he takes so much happiness in just walking u to ur dorm afterwords and when u tease him about jenga he just bites his lip and mumbles that it just wasn’t his night tonight,,,,,,

and when you lean up to kiss him gently taeyong mumbles against your skin if it’s alright to take u out on a second date and u think how cute,,,,but completely agree

and two dates turn into more dates and before u know it u and taeyong are dating with matching couple rings to prove it 

which yuta thinks is cheesy but taeil just tells him to shut it and be happy for taeyong 

but on a real note taeyong takes dating as seriously as his studies,,,he puts his efforts into making you happy and learning more about you

and it’s so adorable when he’ll point something out and be like “it reminds me of you!” and,,,,it’s like,,,,,,,what an observant, caring boyfriend 

you tell taeyong once you don’t like this specific kind of fruit so when u guys get a fruit salad he asks if u want him to pick out the ones u dont like and u just laugh and go i can just not eat them!!! and he gets red,,,,but like it’s the sentiment that counts

taeyong works most of his week and studies super hard so u don’t get to go out a lot and taeyong apologizes for that

but you just hold his face in your hands and tell him that no. his studies come first because it’s his future

and once taeyong mumbled that he hopes ur his future too and it made ur heart,,,,,,,,,it literally made ur heart burst and you were like taeyong don’t say things like that and he was like im sorry,,,but why not

and u were like because it makes me want to kiss u and u have calculus homework right 

people that took pics of taeyong when u go out always just get super long glares from u and at one point u were like “that’s illegal i can sue on behave of my boyfriend”

and taeyong was like ,,,,angel it’s ok,,,,,,,but u were like anyone who wants to disrespect him come @ me i will prote-

u and ten get along really well just fyi

taeyong introduces u to mark and ur just like !!!!!! wow!!!!! so adorable and taeyong is like rIGHT he’s so cute he’s my son and mark is like ??? but both u and taeyong dote on him and sometimes he’s like guys,,,,please,,,,

but most of the time he likes it because u and taeyong will cook for him if he asks LOL

for someone who hides behind his glasses taeyong sends u selfies whenever he’s with mark because he’s like !!!!!! look how cute

but also sometimes he sends some of himself and he’s like ‘i look so bad ive been studying for 4 hours’ but in reality. he doesn’t look bad. he looks like a model. what the heck. what the actual heck

taeyong keeps his desk super clean but he’s recently let u put up some photos in frames,,,one of them is his sister ,,, another his parents,,, then one of him and his friends ,,,,,,,and then one of u guys,,,,shyly holding hands under fireworks and it’s cute

because before he used to keep everything completely in check but when u doodle a heart on his whiteboard he can’t erase it,,,,he just thinks of u and smiles

doesn’t share his hoodies but it’s ok because when u hug him his smell gets stuck in ur clothes and u love it

u taught taeyong how to use emojis the right way because when u sent him a bunch of hearts he was like ‘isn’t one enough’ and u were like taeyong no i love u much more than one heart emoji and he was like oh! i should sent more too because i love u so much and it was cORNY but so damn cute

his pda is kept to a minimum because taeyong sees intimacy as something very special and he always wants to make sure it’s shared between you and him 

and he’ll like it when u take control because taeyong wants to do anything to please u and sometimes u have to remind him that it’s ok for him to indulge

and he’ll just shyly hide into ur neck but it’s ok because when u run ur hands down his spine u can hear a low sound from him and it’s,,,,,,hot

also loves being kissed on the back of his neck like the nape it always makes him really soft and if he’s overworking himself 

ull like come up from behind while he’s hunched over a book and kiss his nape and he’ll completely kind of loosen up and let u drag him out for a snack so he doesn’t die in all his class notes

and taeyong tells u after sometime that dating,,,,,and being close to people always worried him because he didn’t know if he could make someone happy

but you tell him that he makes u the most happy,,,,even if he has quirks about him and gets excited over math,,,,,that’s so adorable to you

like you’re the one person that taeyong should never be scared of hurting,,,,,,because you know how much effort he puts into his work and u know he’d never do anything to harm u or his friends

and it’s cute,,,,,,u wait for him to get back to campus after his internship and taeyong is always like !!!!! it’s cold and dark dont 

but ur always there and when he gets off the bus he makes u wait till it leaves but then u guys kiss and it’s cute and u laugh against each others lips

and although taeyong doesnt like to share his clothes he’ll pull his lab coat over the two of u and be like “kiss me again” and ur like ooo someone is actually more into pda than we thought?? and he’s like shy,,,but also u do kiss him and it’s soft

my conclusion is college!taeyong is soft ok everyone please be nice to him

find:

college vixx (here) / college bts (here) / college seventeen (here) college monsta x (here) / college got7 + amber + kard (here)

[convndrums]

here the FAWK she ( the semi-finished masterlist of all my characters ) is ! took way too long but hopefully as you proceed to click on the linque below you’ll know why smh but yep ! i’ll be adding their pages on my account when i’m done with them soon i hope and maybe come back with a bunch of connections for each character but for now this is all i got & smash this like or im me for plots i’d love to get on those finally xx

reintroducing amanda wheeler;  intro & info page.

queen of irony. rich post- faux country gal who’s a loud homosexual and writes hetero fics/has an indie het smut for the absolute shits and giggles. dates a married woman she’s utterly in love with and will pull the life support cord for. said to be possessed by a possessed flapper. cute and knows it even though she looks like a republican. socially open & everywhere. morally grey.

reintroducing imogen yates; intro & info page. ( tw violence )

the grey area between your mom friend and your drunk aunt. happily vegan & owns a vegan restaurant called the fork, alt. the vegan cult’s lair. won’t kill you, but will convince you she really wants to. local brat tamer. minds her business via minding others. clashed head-first into nature’s very own reset button: amnesia. used to be satan and traumatized everyone. disgustingly active and accomplishing.

reintroducing ethan holland; intro & info page. ( tw suicide )

he is a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boy ( and meant it. they’re dating now. hey lourdes ! ) a nice person, so nice he doesn’t realize how fake he sounds/is. a certified headass. previously a bully/bully enabler, current guilty fuck. #torn. does the most for his loved ones. doesn’t remember his own birthday. googled foot fetishes once. trolls stan twitter with his fake selena gomez stan account when tumblr crashes. burned a sue of cide note with his name scribbled on it.

reintroducing sebastian miller; intro & info page ( tw violence )

kazimer sokolov whom. russian ex-cult member well-adjusted into a mundane life via lies, a fake canadian accent he’s ‘trying to get rid of’, being a twilight saga aficionado and a dickwad, a lame record store and a tumblr blog to keep himself sane by maintaining a general aesthetic and shitting on people and every discourse out there. knives/books sniffer. allegedly fucked a moose. probably kinkshames as a way to deal with his own “kinks” aka please keep the dead bodies away. ( im kidding i swear but [redacted] )

reintroducing prudence zima; intro & info page ( tw death )

parents died in a fire when she was two months old and it shows. idolizes avril lavigne & her favorite movie is lords of dogtown for aesthetics references. dude. social leech or effortless networker ? both. remains in her lane regardless. cry-types probably. here for a good time, not a long time. steals your stash and smokes you out with it. avid dick connoisseur. minimum effort lifestyle. either on her way to become a manager of some one hit wonder band that finds it’s demise in a freak accident, a drug dealer or god forbid, a guidance counselor; depends. mild cool girl syndrome. 

reintroducing jennifer meade; intro & info page ( tw death, violence and abuse )

bi/pussy muncher and proud misandrist, first and foremost. remembers killing her brother very fondly. the one girl in a room to call when you want to kill a bug and you’re relieved until she kills it with her bare hand. tops. unstable & chaotic evil, respectively. the ginger devil. biased and has her minion whom she invests a great deal of her time in brain washing and obsessing over. supposedly here to make amends but that’s not happening any time soon.

reintroducing margot williams; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

deserves better. very gay. all her friends are heathens xtra, take it slow. corrects typos in the gc. a nerdy editorial assistant daydreaming about publishing houses instead of the magazine she works for. lowkey shy and she’s angry about it. goes off if she must. jacks off to #knowledge and yuri anime. helps with homework and essays and takes the kids out. deadpan because we’re original but she swears it’s just the face & unresolved trauma. stans her therapist. unofficial older sister.

reintroducing chandler accardi; intro ( re-written ) & info page

needs to do better. dropped out of college for culinary school then dropped out of that too. was engaged to an absolute goddess he ultimately wronged ( with her damn best friend, bitch disgostin* ) and got kicked out to the curb. currently residing in the couch of his sister until things are resolved. thot-by-default & annoying. has like three ( 3 ) redeeming qualities. has never been told to shut up and it shows. works at buzzfeed.

reintroducing abel gautier; intro & info page

french and “confused”. lives a minimalist n’ expensive life. if american psycho & french kiss were the same movie. wine sniffer. the devil bakes croissants. will watch you die. takes grudges to the afterlife. gets attached but either ruins it or ruins it to spare everyone, himself included. falls in love a lot but knows how to calm the fuck down. very giving, fortunately. manipulative but isn’t too wild about bending everything to his will. 

reintroducing simini gale; intro & info page ( tw abuse, violence & mental illness )

token white actress & character in rosie’s show. [ britney vc ] its me.... against dissociation. a loud mess with an intense mental state and anger issues dulled out by her prescribed meds and whatever pill she got in the bottom of her manager’s purse. dependent and distraught about it. grocery shopping for garbage food and attending comedy stand up shows half drunk as a hobby. stable ? where. very nice and super flighty. heels are hot. wishes she could fight someone without feeling the urge to actually fight someone. 

reintroducing calvin o’shea; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

it’s not just the depression more than the incredible self hatred. walks into rooms with his bad energy, grumpy mood and cunty attitude. graduated college just to shut his dad up. wants to die harder than edward cullen. just doesn’t give a shit. has a baby named freddie mercury ( also known as the antichrist, with alanis, his mortal literal enemy whom he absolutely despises and will not hesitate to put his dick back in again lbr ) who will probably grow up to talk shit about his parents whom he also mentioned in his tell-all book on ellen. works at his family’s bookstore that sucks the life energy out of college students nearing a mental breakdown.

reintroducing isabel pavia; intro & info page ( tw drug use )

contemporary dances her feelings away. too ambitious for her own good but knows what she’s doing. in a goth ass secret society ( here ) a.k.a her new found purpose. knows everything eventually. oddly trustworthy. doesn’t know what speaking loudly is, let alone yelling. loves the moon & has that moon app. had to take painkillers when she twisted her ankle very badly and would take them for a while for stress and performance reasons, but has stopped. a quiet angel. 

reintroducing anastasia zeller; intro & info page

ambitious/multi-talented asshole. horror trash & an emotional/mental maze which translates well into her weird works on no sleep reddit and current horror comedy podcast. ( click here for info ). needs a therapist according to a friend, whom she dropped for saying that. will bite your head off. obsessed with her works to an unhealthy point. would love to establish a company and stuff out of it and is working on that. healthy relationships are a semi-foreign concept.

reintroducing morgan booker; intro & info page ( tw death )

vape-curious and takes photos of ghost towns and abandoned-everythings because #vision. had a roadtrip phase like the fake deep idiot he is. morally grey. genuinely here for a good laugh and spreading joy in the form of hover-friendships and taking lit candids of his friends. knows shit and comes off as a creep sometimes but does he really care. knows your mom’s name. lives in a disused hospital bc he’s marinating on that aesthetic. 

reintroducing bowie harmon; intro & info page ( tw drug use & abuse )

part of a duo in a web series as the anxious n’ cackling mess. showcases her depressión & anxieté by her colorful wigs n’ new hair dyes. painful receptionist at a tattoo parlor. recovering addict who advocates for drug use. thinks tattooing a ruler on someone’s dick one day would be the peak of her accomplishments as a tattoo artist. daily bad decisions. “ it’s complicated. ” when asked about literally any relationship she has with anyone in her life. traumas include her failed singing career. an ex viner-by-association.

reintroducing shaheen bin baz; intro & info page ( tw violence & mental illness )

the physical deception of going through hell in a short amount of time with zero mental durability to begin with during midterms. trigger-anxious. will shoot your toes off your foot if caught off guard. aided in criminal operations with the brilliance of his mind in codes. would not mind dying. seasons your food. waters his crops in his balcony garden. the grey area between a super laidback dude and a crackhead with violent tendencies. nearing a mental breakdown probably. 

reintroducing minka abbott-santos; intro & info page ( tw abuse )

defeats the evil stepmom stereotype one breath at a time. the human embodiment of a deer. gothic angel. alarmingly gets black swan. type to wake up to her staring at you from an armchair across the room, but lovingly, with a book she was reading in hand and two hot cups of tea; she was waiting to start the day with you. spooky until you get to know her and even more spookier when she’s ( note: calmly ) pissed but that’s extremely rare. gentle voice, soul and everything.

reintroducing reuben faulkner; intro & info page ( tw abuse & violence  )

rekt hell prince. lived in an amish community with his family until he got kidnapped away from home when he was seven into an awful living situation. doesn’t remember if the gas leak that happened five years later and killed everyone was his doing or not. knows where his real family is after months of tracking them down but. blood kink under investigation. shady bouncer at a shady club. has issues he has no care or time to diminish. fights for the shits and giggles. leaves texts at read. leaves you alone for your own good and his own sanity. 

reintroducing alexandra turunen;  info page

wants to do everything and be everything and doesn’t know what to do with herself ( read: post-graduation identity crisis ) currently investing in a motorcycle for no reason. essentially jobless. a “retired” kathryn merteuil who “outgrew” her cunning ways since highschool but really only found new socially destructive interests. appears to be self-possessed but she’s #shaken. doesn’t care about how well she presents herself anymore after getting rejected by four universities and refusing to accept her father’s offer to pull some strings to get her in one. sleeps a lot. 

reintroducing giuseppe del vecchio;  info page ( tw death & drug use  )

goes by pepe because well. son of italian oil peeps & is extra. said to be in a cult when all he’s in is this extra ass dining club that does the most for initiation ceremonies. ready to fall in love with you. goes to the king’s college in london and studies business & changes his minor way too often for everyone’s liking. into everything and will be down to do whatever. faux deep. mischievous shit. incredibly unbiased. had his rawrk n’ roll phase that died along with someone in a club literally. still has it but he knows god now & less drugs.

reintroducing kelian scott;  info page ( tw death & drug use  )

a father/father figure who tries™. runs a mechanic shop/chop shop because bad decisions and dire needs ( had his son to send to school and his daughter who passed away due to a disease he couldn’t afford to treat even after turning his shop into a chop shop. his wife then left him ). stares into the distance. wants the best for the kids but one of them is a junkie ( he doesn’t know yet ) and the other -- his niece -- is an orphan he’s worried about. thinks ahead 24/7. needs to pull out of this dull n’ depressing daily routine he has fallen into like the basic ass divorced dad he is. 

reintroducing sal presley;  info page

smexy trace & fingerprint detective. talks. the perfect illusion to bring home to your parents and friends. gets shit done which is both a good thing and a bad thing. looks calm, collected n’ well-rested but isn’t. his actual name is salvatore but no. knows how to mix drinks and more; used to showcase his multi-talented ass to make his ( currently ex ) fiancée look good now just himself. was engaged three times; two of those times with the same person. obsessive; gets into his job a little too intensely for no reason but #justice and maybe something else whom knows. loses sleep at least two nights a week as a habit at this point. has an extended family back home he misses occasionally. wishes he could calm down truly. 

#smoke:intros #FINALLY RISING HOLY SH- #ill do some plotting n hopefully get on replies soonish hell yea lets GO!

[tumblunni]

Bunni continues to play Richard And Alice! Random thoughts and stuff!

* I’m really not good at point and click advantures, so i dunno if my opinion is very valuable, but this one just seems... not good, gameplay-wise. The sections are all different lengths and difficulty levels in each chapter, and not in a fitting way. Like so far the only one where I had to combine two items was the first chapter, it took me ages to figure out what the game wanted me to do with the bedsheets. And then the second chapter had like zero point and click at all, you just had to find one toy brick and stick it to block one hole, then it was just story cutscenes. And now in chapter three we have a suddenly huge snowfield to explore with your painfully slow walk speed, yet there’s only like one thing you need to find and just... I’m getting surprisingly anxious worrying if I missed something cos i only found that one thing! There was a whole section i didnt explore cos i didnt realise you couldnt go back outside after you managed to open the door. And what was with the misdirect of Alice saying ‘maybe i can reach this window if i have something to stand on’ and then instead she just shot off the lock on the door? Does that mean there were multiple solutions to this puzzle and thats why the place was so huge?

* Anyway, the story continues to be intriguingly good! I continue to be really engaged in poor Alice’s journey through this post apocolyptic snow world with her lil son, and I continue to be really worried what happened to that son, since this is a flashback and Alice met Richard alone... Also I like the continuity that Barney is continuing to talk about the close call they had last time with a monsterous bastard who kidnapped them. This poor lil 7 year old is struggling to keep up and struggling to keep smiling so his mum won’t be sad, and its just SO COLD and he doesnt understand why they left ‘the safe house’ because he doesnt understand they were prisoners there. And god, its so sad cos you can understand how Alice might be getting frustrated with him, and you can understand that she KNOWS she’s being irrational, but she’s just so scared that she sucks at keeping up a brave face for her kid. But I think she’s doing a great job, she’s way more of a badass survivor than anyone else would have been in this situation! And Barney is being incredibly good too, he’s being really patient and obedient to his mum and he’s a really considerate kid, he gave his mum his toy car cos she was getting sad remembering when her husband was alive and they used to ‘go on adventures’. (”But we’re on an adventure now, mummy!”)

* And MAN I am REALLY WORRIED for this poor kid, he’s been showing signs of getting sick as they were travelling the snowy wasteland and I hope they can at least get a break now they’ve found this abandoned house to sleep in. BUT NOPE! Alice finds mysterious scary notes with some sort of log of... people...? It definately doesnt feel like just someone recording visitors or survivors they met, its got a weird sort of... priorities, to what was written down. ‘Fem. caucasian. 20s. Compliant. 65lbs.’ And then what struck me as especially weird was that someone would classify a kid as ‘Female. age 7. 21 lbs’ instead of like.. actually writing that it was a kid. This is someone seeing these people as.. merchandise. You never really get an answer in this chapter but I think it’s someone who was offering survivors fake shelter and then cannibalising them T_T The chapter just ends with Alice finding an ambiguously scary room with a bloodstain, but this is the only shelter they have, so all she can do is lock the door again so her kid doesn’t see, and barricade the front door in case this cannibal cult comes back for their home base... *shudder*

* But also seriously, why did I collect like five other red herring letters as well as the cannibal one? And a rusty saw and ammo for a different gun. Was that JUST red herrings or did I miss an optional puzzle?

* Its actually a weird relief to get back out of the flashback and back to our slightly-less-horrible horrible situation in present times. Sure, Alice and Richard are locked in prison, but in this apocolyptic scenario its a relief to be somewhere where you get daily food and working electricity. There’s even a tv that only sometimes doesnt work! And they have each other, and they’re building up a nice friendship now, and it just feels quite optimistic. Richard’s even getting a bit of a crush on Alice, even though the attempts at flirting between the two of them are failing horribly cos they’re both total goobers. i dunno, if they do get together in the end, I totally wouldnt mind it! I dont think its really necessary though.

* Aww but the more we learn about everyone’s backstory, the more I really wanna hug em! We still dont know very much about Richard, but we’ve learned now that he had an ‘average childhood’, at least, by his definition. And he lived in some sort of small country town, and he joined the army in order to see more of the world. But it went really badly and he got sent to prison for rebelling against a superior officer who made a clearly immoral order. JUSTICE FOR RICHARD, GRARR!! And then Alice continues to be way more well developed and interesting, even though I do still feel sympathetic for richard, yknow. Just a lil frustrated that it took us so long to even hear that lil bit about him, when he’s supposed to be the ‘main character’. Seriously he seems like just a framing device for us to talk to alice and see her flashbacks! Anyway, now we’ve learned that Alice didn’t have much of a childhood, because she was hospitalized for a long time. And she talks about how she felt like a burden and felt suicidal and how she never even got to make any friends til she grew up and became a lil more healthy, and then she sorta ended up in an unplanned pregnancy with the first man she ever dated, and never had a chance to pursue her dream career and just... wow Alice dear god, someone up there in the heavens hates you! God, I hope this game has an actual happy ending, please! And also it makes me EVEN MORE WORRIED about what happened to her kid, now im starting to worry if maybe he inherited her childhood disease and like.. it only first started manifesting during the apocolypse and she wasnt able to find a doctor in time.. or something... MAN THIS GAME IS GIVING ME A MILLION WAYS THIS SWEET BOY COULD DIE

* Oh but one random complaint... much as I care about Barney, he kinda isnt a very well written character. They fall into a lot of super outdated ‘fake movieverse child’ cliches instead of like.. bothering to listen to what actual kids talk like. He’s always using that fake cutesy talk like ‘i made you a waffle but i eated it’. Its rather jarring! ...but still I WILL DEFEND MY VIRTUAL SON FOREVER dont you dare kill him off just because his dialogue is poorly informalized!

* The next chapter is kinda boring, its not really even a chapter but just an intermission to show us some more gameplay and nothing else. Richard and Alice do nothing but have an awkward fetch quest to find enough stuff to make a pole to reach the termostat outside the jail cell, and then after all that it ends up failing anyway. I guess at least we do get a bit of character development cos we get to see them both frustrated and having a bit of an argument, then making up again, and etc. But meh, bring on the next actual plot flashback!

* “Why does Daddy live in the ground?”

* thats it im done this is how bunni is slain fucking hell

* god, I dunno if I made the right choice but I chose to be honest with the kid and try and explain what death is. I got to hear the backstory of how the dad died, so i THINk that was the right choice? It seems he died back when barney was too young to even really know him. It was at the start of the apocolypse and the family was doing semi okay living in a shared shelter with a bunch of other people. But then it was the start of government aid breaking down and society crumbling, and a gang stole the last food ration pack from them and the dad thought he could reason with them. And its just so sad cos Alice is thinking of all the ways it could have been prevented! ‘We’ve gotten used to surviving with less now, what if we’d just let that food go? we could have lasted’ And what if they’d shot first and asked questions later, instead of trying to be diplomatic. And apparantly back then things were a little less abd so there actually was a trader they could have got more food from, but resources were limited so they decided it wasnt worth it at the time. And the after the gang killed the dad and some of the other leaders of the shelter group, it seems like things just collapsed in a power struggle and thats how Alice ended up alone... And you just have this sad sidequest to gather flowers for his grave and then Barney is all ‘i dont really know him and i dont understand so i feel bad that i cant cry’ and then he’s asking if dead people can hear you from down in the ground. And I picked being honest again, and Alice didnt say yes or no, she just admitted that nobody really knows what happens after you die, and you have to choose what you want to believe. So Barney chooses to try and tell his dad about how they’re having a good day playing in the snow on this adventure, and Alice tells him that Barney’s grown up so big and strong, and Barney says ‘Yeah! Strong like a lion! Or you, daddy!’ and BUNNI’S SOUL SHATTERS INTO A MILLION PIECES

* i am gone i am deceased at this deceaseness aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

* And there’s like an optional note you can find that tells the story about some unnamed kid who was living alone with their friend Lucy and they were trying to survive without any adults to help, and its all SCARILY VAGUE and I hope we get to learn more about them later cos it just says how the same gang who killed the dad was just.. ominously circling around the area and Lucy was acting weird and then dissappeared, with a letter saying she chose to leave for [insert name of far away settlement here] but it was really suspicious and the unnamed kid thinks that the gang was threatening lucy and they must have kidnapped her and faked this note and then the diary just ENDS it just ends with the kid talking about how much they love lucy and cant live without her and we dont know if they found her or if she even really was kidnapped?? ITS SO VAGUE! its so vague that honestly im only just assuming the diary writer was a kid too, i mean maybe they were lucy’s parent or sibling or something? or maybe both them and lucy are older? but the way it was written sounded like they were like early high schoolers or something (then again this game is bad at writing kid characters so maybe not) I MOURN FOR YOU, UNNAMED DIARY PERSON AND LUCY OF MYSTERY

* OH GOD DOOM when it went back to modern day, now its got all mysterious and weird and sad too, AAAARRRGH the heroes are still in prison, but the guards have stopped coming to their cell and theyre stuck here scared and worrying and you dont know if the obvious has actually happened... i mean maybe the prison has been abandoned or everyone died and now they’re stuck here locked in their cell and AAAA eventually the cold will start seeping in and kill them too and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

* okay im gonna go get back to playing this game

#bunni plays richard and alice