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thebroccolination · 1 year

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FOUR THEMED THAI BL SERIES RECOMMENDATIONS

by me (key)

INTRO

I've done top-ten lists before, but I think a better approach than a numbered list is to order them by why I'm recommending them. Some of my favorites are well-known, but a few gems definitely went overlooked in international fandom for various reasons (accessibility, aired during an over-saturated season, etc.), so I wanted to give them a li'l well-deserved boost. Anyway, here are four of my top fifteen selected at random:

¶ IF YOU LIKE A SOLID PLOT

Triage (2022)

Synopsis: Third-year emergency medicine resident Tin has to cope with a deluge of different patients every day. Up until the eighteenth, that is. Tin's life is transformed when university student Tol's car is overturned and he's rushed to the emergency room in serious condition. That night doesn't end when Tin fails to save Tol's life, though. When Tin next wakes, he finds himself in a time loop, a loop he won't be able to leave until he's altered Tol's fate.

Review: This was TaeTee's comeback series after years apart, and it was a massive hit domestically. Due to geoblocking and paywalls (AISPLAY is a notoriously challenge for international viewers), it didn't really take off as a fandom among overseas fans. But oh, is this worth it. Whatever way you choose to watch, I highly, highly recommend this one. The time-loop premise is genuinely fascinating, and so is the actual story structure.

And there are cats!!!

Plot-wise, I'd say Triage has the best writing of any BL series I've seen. More than once, I was texting a friend who'd already seen it, "This is like a show-show!" And what I mean by that is that a lot of BL series still seem to lean on genre-specific tropes to please audiences. They don't really bother themselves with things like character arcs or basic storytelling elements. And those series have value too! Sometimes mindless entertainment is all we want. But if you're in the mood for a series with a plot, some mystery, one of my favorite female characters, one of my favorite side couples, and some brilliant character arcs, definitely give Triage a watch.

Tin is brilliant and analytical but a very broken lightbulb when it comes to most social situations.

Important Note: If you've seen Cutie Pie and/or Love in the Air, you need to see Triage just to witness the incredible duality of Tonnam's acting skills. Sing easily is one of my top five favorite BL characters. He's the grumpy parent friend who will call you stupid for working when you're sick and then bring you soup and an electric blanket. I love him so much, so please love him also and help me write more SingGap fics please there are only like three of us out here and we need more please we're very hungry.

¶ IF YOU LIKE CHARACTER-DRIVEN STORIES

Between Us (2022)

Synopsis: Team is a talented swimmer who just entered university. However, when it comes to swim competitions, he's never able to perform to the best of his abilities. When swim team upperclassman Win comes to know that the problem doesn't lie in Team's abilities or dedication, but rather his trauma and the sleeping difficulties it causes, he offers up his own room for Team to stay in. With the comfort of company, Team's performance starts to improve and feelings start to grow between the two young men. But Team isn't the only one with issues from his past preventing him from moving forward. Win struggles with how to handle receiving love and how to give special treatment to those closest to him. Occurring parallel to the events of "Until We Meet Again," this story focuses on how Win and Team come to know and inspire growth in each other.

We're in The House of WinTeam, you knew it'd be here.

Review: Between Us was first announced in May 2020 (on Win's birthday no less!). WinTeam got me into Thai BL through two gif sets here on Tumblr that I randomly stumbled across in February 2020. I marathoned what was available of Until We Meet Again, and it became and continued to be my favorite BL series until Between Us started airing last month.

Between Us is essentially a series about character studies. Like its parallel series Until We Meet Again, most of the conflicts in Between Us are internal and stem from various sources of trauma (survivor's guilt, parental neglect, parental abuse, etc.). These internal conflicts prevent characters from reaching for love and personal attachments because they don't feel like they deserve them.

This is basically Self-Sabotage: The Series.

The Production's Pandemic Problem: Depictions of trauma, friendship, and queer experiences in Until We Meet Again and Between Us are all handled and framed with profound respect and understanding, and I think a lot of that comes from its director and screenwriter. Both LazySheep and New Siwaj have shared their personal experiences with depression, and throughout the pandemic, they supported each other through their respective struggles. New was running a small agency/studio and supporting actors and staff while legally unable to film any series, and Sheep faced additional ongoing medical conditions along with a demanding full-time job that prevented her from working on Hemp Rope's script adaptation.

At what I presume was a particularly low point for Sheep last August, New made a public announcement that he'd be giving her an unlimited amount of time to heal and rest. He explained that he didn't want to weigh her down more with a deadline, so he made it clear to fans and general public alike that she had his full support and could recover at whatever pace she needed.

Meanwhile, BounPrem had gotten an incredible boost of popularity from their roles in Until We Meet Again…right as covid cases ramped up around the world. For the next two years, they were limited in what roles they could accept because their priority has always been their roles as WinTeam in Between Us. No one had any idea when cases would subside or rise and alter production schedules, and because of that, the only roles BounPrem felt they could accept without affecting Between Us were bit roles in other series. They never complained about the wait, they never abandoned Between Us even though they easily could have moved on, and they never treated their smaller roles with anything but good-natured dedication. In October of 2021, Boun surprised Prem with a cake at an event and, after Prem clapped along with the crowd looking for the recipient, Boun explained with a smile that it was Team's birthday, and Prem laughed with utter delight. No one loves WinTeam or Between Us more than BounPrem.

Studio Wabi Sabi announced Between Us in May 2020 to the delight of fans and actors alike, but the pandemic made the production they envisioned all but impossible. For example, they needed the university as a filming location, but it had been shut down. The Thai government also threw out sporadic restrictions on series production: at one point only twelve people could be present on a film set at a time. Wabi Sabi actually did have production of one series (7 Project) canceled for six months, so they'd already experienced what might happen if they started work on Between Us during the early stages of the pandemic. As fans' complaints increased, with some pointing to the release of new series produced by larger, better-resourced studios like GMMTV, New responded honestly. He tweeted more than once that he could have produced Between Us at any time during the pandemic if all he wanted was the fans' money. He could have filmed a cheap, extremely limited series and thrown it up online to get it done and out of the way.

It's because he was devoted to Sheep's story, his actors' careers, and his own craft that New waited until he could begin filming with reasonable confidence that the government wouldn't cavalierly shut it down. It's because he waited that we have the beautifully filmed, beautifully written, beautifully acted series we have now.

The series itself is up to episode six now, and it's above and beyond what I could have imagined. Sheep clearly had the time and space to create the best possible adaptation from her unfinished novel, BounPrem have had years to build on their mutual trust and professional relationship, and New had the patience to wait until conditions were best.

This has mostly been about the production side, but that will always be a big part of why I recommend this series to people, even once it's finished and I can review it as a whole. The passion and patience is clear in every scene, and because of that I can't recommend this series more wholeheartedly.

¶ IF YOU WERE A THEATRE KID

Something in My Room (2022)

Synopsis: Phat just moved into a new rental house with his mother. There, he meets Phob, an amnesiac ghost, and has to help Phob solve the mystery of his death within forty-nine days of Phob's death. Will they succeed?

Review: I could have titled this category many things: if you like women, if you like multifaceted characters, if you like stories that explore death with unique culturally specific aspects, if you like couples who support and learn from each other, if you like beautiful use of music, if you like LOVE, then Something in My Room.

But there's just something very theatrical to SIMR. (Literally, at one point.) It feels experimental in some ways it's filmed, it lets actors take their time with some moments in ways that feel rewarding, and I just…it feels a little niche to me in that way.

There are four complex female characters in this series. FOUR. And not minor characters, either. Major, significant characters. The actor who plays their landlady is incredible and having the time of her life being enthusiastically spooky, and I ship her with Phat's mother and no one can stop me. Phat's friend Dream also has a fantastically complicated backstory that influences the story directly. Not to mention Phob's mother and just??? Four!!! In a BL?! Seriously, if you're like me and you side-eye every BL series that has nineteen guys and one vaguely woman-shaped lamppost hidden in the background, Something in My Room is the breath of fresh air you've been searching for.

Unfortunately, this series flopped domestically and internationally, but I'm not going to pretend I know why. Personally, I blame the geoblocking and the badly cut free edit they released that confused and lost viewers early on, but it's also possible that this is just a series that didn't resonate with people as strongly as it did with me, and I'll have to live with that. SOMEHOW.

However! Look at my boys. Look at my ghost boy Phob and his alive boyfriend Phat. They just got dead-engaged. :'(

This is a series that was clearly made with a lot of heart and a lot of emotion. It also has a veiled political message in one character's backstory that I'm still blown away by because they hid it so cleverly to get it past censorship. PhobPhat are easily in my top ten favorite couples, and Supanut and Plan have fantastic chemistry.

If it's not for you, that's totally fine. All I hope is that more people give the uncut version a try. Supanut (Phob) gave my favorite acting moment in any series in the last episode, and it haunts me (ha) to this day.

(Also, if you're worried about the ending being sad, I think it's as happy as it could have ended, and I'm a baby when it comes to sad endings. Your mileage may vary, of course, but I was really happy with how it ended.)

¶ IF YOU LIKE SLOW-BURN ROMANCE

SOTUS (2016) + SOTUS S (2017) + Our Skyy (2018)

Synopsis: The "Gear" is one of the engineering mechanical devices in the cogwheel system (as in a clock). Having one signifies that one is a student of the Faculty of Engineering. However, to get one, all engineering freshmen must first undergo the SOTUS (acronym for Seniority, Order, Tradition, Unity, and Spirit) system. Arthit, one of the third-year seniors, often abuses his power over the freshmen by making them do things against the rules. Freshmen students are practically powerless to complain or resist any orders given by their seniors. Arthit was seemingly unstoppable until Kongpob stood up against the abuses by the former. Continual encounters between the two developed from animosity to something much more affectionate.

Review: Whenever I see people recommend SOTUS, it's usually because it's a "classic" and one of the major cornerstones of the industry. I think it's also important to describe it as a slow-burn so people know what they're signing up for. Personally, SOTUS and its sequel have yet to be kicked from my top five (I count them together). The character-building is fantastic, there's a legitimate character arc for Arthit that spans three iterations with the same mental block that takes on different forms in each one, and Kongphob also matures and becomes more and more multifaceted. If you're not a character person, if you're more about the surrounding plot, SOTUS probably won't do it for you.

The first series is fifteen episodes, and by the time Kongphob actually talks about his feelings for Arthit, it feels earned and authentic. SOTUS remains one of the best-written series, I think, with some of the strongest pacing. When I heard that SOTUS saved GMMTV from bankruptcy, I had no trouble believing it. They gambled on giving a BL series a substantial budget in 2015 (airing in 2016), and it absolutely paid off.

Also, just on a wildly destiny-like note, Bittersweet based her novel on a viral photo of Singto acting as head hazer, Krist became a hazer because he was Singto's junior, and then they ended up playing the opposite roles. Just fun to think about, especially with loud extrovert Krist playing the older, shyer character and quiet introvert Singto playing the younger, brasher character.

I play the instrumental "Distant Signals" at least once a week (it's on Spotify under Harry Angstrom and Jonathan Buchanan). It's one of the best examples of music done right in a series, I'd say, and I'm a big fan of when a piece of media uses music well. There are songs in SOTUS S that just pierce my heart if I hear them in passing.

And SPEAKING of SOTUS S, it's like Between Us in that the conflict is almost purely internal. I'm really, really into character-driven stories, and as a queer person who felt pressured back into the closet at my first office job after being extremely open in university? A series set in an office about a queer character who feels pressured back into the closet after being extremely open in university hit a few personal buttons. I think it's still the only series that's fully represented that experience for me. The side stories at the end of every episode showing how open and confident Arthit was when he was in the safe bubble of university compared to how anxious he is in the working world absolutely ruins my heart.

And then there's KongArt themselves. I love them as characters. Episode one of SOTUS feels like a fever dream compared to the rest of the series (and it might have been a pilot to sell sponsors, tbh), because Arthit becomes one of the softest and shyest characters in all of Thai BL.

arthit: i love you kongphob: say it again arthit: no i love you

What I appreciate most about SOTUS is that it's one of the few series that's been given multiple iterations. SOTUS established the relationship between KongArt, SOTUS S explored that relationship at its low point, and Our Skyy tested that relationship by pressing down on its weak point. I think, aside from the actors' popularity, the depth that KongArt's relationship was given is one of the reasons why fans still love the pairing years and years after the source material ended. Arthit's insecurity fuels every conflict, but in ways that I feel are realistic. Every time his anxiety and self-worth issues become a conflict, it's for a different reason, and it's realistic to me that our fears can be partially dissuaded but not completely erased.

In conclusion: these boys all need therapy. I'm casting a vote for Therapy: The Series.

#thai bl #thai bl recommendations #triage the series #between us the series #something in my room #sotus the series #bounprem #nutplan #taetee #kristsingto #winteam #tintol #phobphat #kongart

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snapdragoned · 11 months

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sims tag!

tagged by @simmer-until-tender & @themeasureofasim (so long ago, whoops) thank you!

Favorite sims death?

I've only ever seen drowning, fire, and old age in my game (so boring, I know) but I think I have to go with Murphy Bed for sheer "unlikely but plausible" horror.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Maxis Match with a little soupçon of semi-realism, particularly with hair. I just love that classic Pooklet shine.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

No way -- the Townie Body Diversity Project is one of my favorite mods for a reason! We need more fat sims! If I could have one no-questions-asked Sims 2 wish granted, it would be more diverse bodytypes for all existing meshes (dream on, I know).

Do you use move objects?

Who doesn't? I basically only have it off to place diagonal doors and windows.

Favorite mod?

This is such a hard question because there are /hundreds/ of tiny QOL mods that add up into such incredible gameplay. But I'm going to go with either the Community Time Project or Skilling on Community Lots! The latter especially makes so many community lots... actually worth it. I don't think I could play without it. Why bother otherwise?

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

I think I actually got Nightlife before University and I loved it. Everyone was a vampire and had the most expensive car. Life was simple and good.

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

Live as in "we're going live!" The other way feels so bizarre in my mouth.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I will always have a soft spot for an alien sim named Laika from many, many neighborhoods ago. She was my icon for a long time!

Have you made a simself?

Only when I was younger! I like The Sims (and most media, tbh) to be as indulgent and escapist from my own life as possible. Like, what am I doing there?? I have the same reaction to self-insert fanfiction too. What is my purpose in this narrative? No thanks.

What sims traits do you give yourself?

For TS2: Lazy, Playful, Pleasure Aspiration.

For TS3: Vegetarian, Absent-Minded, Good Sense of Humor, Neurotic, Over-Emotional 🥲

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I assume this is a question tailored to one of the other games, lol. As a kid I always loved shortslick in red because it was a slightly different shade than the other red hairstyles in the game, and it felt like the closest I could get to a new hair color without CC (which I didn't know how to download).

Favorite EA hair?

I really love the paperboycap hairstyle that came with Apartment Life! I wish there were pookleted defaults of it that just retextured the hair and kept the hat. Sometimes I use it anyway even though it doesn't match the rest of the hair in my game. It's cute!

Favorite life stage?

I actually really, really love the Child life state! There is so much that children can do (painting! gardening! cooking!) and it feels like after a toddler life state that doesn't have much variety between sims, you finally get to get a feel for what kind of person they're going to be. Plus, so many cute social interactions between other children and their parents. I'm always sad to see them grow into teens :(

Are you a builder or are you in it for the game play?

Both! I'm honestly not a very good builder and often get impatient because I just want to play and take pictures. But then if the world doesn't feel "real" or visually appealing enough, I get frustrated because the gameplay isn't as satisfying. I constantly have to force myself to stop and focus on building so I don't overshoot on the playing in a way that feels dissatisfying. Fun hobby.

Are you a CC creator?

No, but I have a lot of practice downloading things :)

Do you have any simblr friends/a sims squad?

I've never been in the Sims community consistently enough for that, but there are plenty of names that give me the happy little "ah, you! 🥰" thought bubble over my head for when I see them on my dashboard!

What’s your favorite game (1,2,3,4)?

Must you even ask?

Do you have any sims merch?

I have a pair of plumbob earrings! They're understated enough that I feel like I can get away with wearing them to work. Someone actually correctly ID'd them once, too!

Do you have a youtube for sims?

No, editing pictures and posting here is enough of a timesink on its own. But I love watching speedbuilds!

How has your “sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Wow, so much. If this is about visuals, I didn't really have a cohesive style until I stumbled upon GOS in 2007 or so. The grungy look and my emo phase were like a wine & cheese pairing for the ages. When I got back into the Sims again in college in 2012, I'd shifted to a brighter style bordering on cartoonish (hello snapdragoned psd!). I think now I'm a sitting somewhere a little more muted, but hopefully still fun to look at 😬

If this question is geared more towards play style, I'm playing in rounds for the first time in... ever. I used to just wander into households and play until I got bored, or focus only on one family. What a difference it makes! I don't think I've ever been so hooked/consistently eager to play.

What’s your origin ID?

You people still use Origin?

Who’s your favorite cc creator?

Don't make me pick! There are a mind-boggling number of active creators out there still making beautiful, functional content. I adore and appreciate all of them! The game still feels so new and fresh. It was such a treat to come back to after a long hiatus.

How long have you had a simblr?

...eleven years 🥲 My GOD, do you ever feel old?!

How do you edit your pictures?

I should have read ahead before I mentioned the PSD, lol. I use Greenshot to take screenshots, then manually resize them in an old, super legal copy of Photoshop. Then I run a batch Photoshop action (sharpening, brightening, making colors more vivid) on them. Done and dusted.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

I guess I'll use this section for my dream mod. I would love more crafting benches/craftable items and more hobby options for the Freetime hobbies! Or a new Supernatural life state.

#long post #.txt

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fridayasteroid · 11 months

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The MBTI of (N) vs (S) in song writing

Maybe some of us already know what an MBTI is, although its pseudoscience for the psychology world, I use it anyway to help me identify people and how I interact with them.

But there is something bothering me about MBTI, most people don't really pay attention to the Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N) part, let alone know the difference. This has piqued my interest for quite sometime cuz I myself don't really understand too. So I researched a bit about it and to put it simply (other than the image):

Sensing (S) : does things based on what they sense (see, feel, hear, smell, etc.)

Intuition (N) : does things based on what they imagine

After I understood this, I then practiced identifying it to song writers and man does it all make sense now.

What type of songwriter I like

It really amazes me how songs really show the personality of the writer. After learning their lyrics, their song writing process, and figuring out what they are like, it made me learn something about myself too.

Interestingly, most of my favourite singers have the MBTI (S) whereas I am a (N), logically speaking, I should be relating more to songs that are written with the same MBTI but no. This is because I find it really intriguing of how different they express their selves apart from how I express things, like its mind-blowing and never came to my mind.

Sensing (S) songwriters are so straight forward and simple with everything, but its usually things so common and so relatable that it never came to mind, at least for me. I also feel like these songwriters are writing a story, cuz of how each line is described giving a clear image to me, like how a novel is.

But as you can see, the songs that I have reviewed in previous posts are actually the intuitive (N) type, its conceptual, imaginative, and needs interpreting to know what the songwriters want to convey. Surprisingly though, Taylor Swift and NIKI are actually a (S) type, but their songs that I reviewed are the very few that uses intuition (though only in concept, not lyrically.)

From this, I think that I still find it more relatable in a deeper level to songs that use intuition. I also find it fun being able to process songs to understand it because that's what I'm familiar and comfortable with. So its not a surprise that my frequent listening songs are mainly from a (N) type of songwriters.

Favourite lines of (N) vs (S)

I want to share some of the songs that I used to identify whether the songwriter is a sensing (S) or intuitive (N) type, mostly are from my favourite songs (haven't been reviewed here yet.)

Said you'd always be my white blood, circulate the right love — White Blood - Oh Wonder (Josephine - ENFP)

This actually is quite clear that its an intuitive lyric. If I were to interpret it, somebody being a white blood means that they could heal the other person and give them a healthy relationship.

Though we have not hit the ground, Doesn't mean we're not still falling — Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5 (Adam Levine - ENFP)

Another intuitive lyric that I like, it describes a specific situation of a fall-out relationship where they are still trying but no matter what it doesn't work and is on verge of a break up.

The sky and sea help each other Creating the cloud so rain can fall When the world helps each other See which love wouldn't fall — Sorai - Nadin Amizah (INFP)

In the beginning of the song, she opens with a metaphor of how certain phenomenon can help make another phenomenon, then she conveys what she wants to say, that a relationship isn't just the work of two people, but fate plays a big role of it.

I ran to run away from you I hid in a place where was no light — Shadow - Seventeen (Woozi- INTJ)

This song is kinda hard to understand just by these lines, but to make it simple, its about wanting to run away from ourselves, specifically our bad sides, but running away from it means to make us fall into more misery and doesn't help us to grow.

But lately her face seems slowly sinking, wasting crumbling like pastries — A Team - Ed Sheeran (ISTJ)

There are no hidden meanings to these lyrics, it really is a clear image of what he wants to convey to us. That this girl has something on her mind and it shows on her expression which is described by Ed.

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was (maroon) — Maroon - Taylor Swift (ESFJ)

This is quite clear, she uses the sense of sight, specifically the colour maroon, to describe a scene where she was flustered with her love.

When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now? — When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne (ISFP)

She describes a scene where she counts the other person steps, saying that its plain proof that she cares about the other person and doesn't want them to go.

I know you're not far, but I still can't handle all the distance You're traveling with my heart I hope this is a temporary feeling — My Everything - Ariana Grande (ESFJ)

She makes it really clear on the situation where she can't be far from the other person. Although she uses the metaphor "Traveling with my heart" she made it clear that its to describe a feeling in the next line.

Recap

So there you have some clear examples of different songwriters having different MBTIs.

Being a (N) or (S) really differs on how we process the world around us and I find it mesmerizing that I could see that play into part through songwriters.

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queerplatonicpositivity · 2 years

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Is it weird or sad to get hung up over feelings you have for your friends sometimes? Sorry if I talk your ear off here.

We've gotten pretty close this year and a day doesn't go by where I don't think about her and not only how happy and safe she makes me feel, but also how I feel like she's helped me grow more as a person; especially with trying to find my confidence and ability to trust others as a trauma survivor. It's completely reciprocal and I extend all of that to her as well for similar reasons. If she's stumbling or going through something, I drop everything I'm doing to help give her a boost and try to make her smile and feel safe. It's physically hard to try and go about the rest of my day when I can tell she's going through something and I don't touch base.

I didn't expect to catch feelings for her and I have a hard time figuring out what it all means, if I'm being honest. Like, are my feelings toward her just intensely platonic to where it bridges on romantic or is it really romantic? I'm not sure. With how close we've gotten, our friends in our circle see it and have made light jokes about it and how we're almost always talking to each other and rarely apart like an old married couple. Well, however that looks for being online. We've come to half-jokingly called each other husband and wife, which, to be honest has me blushing hardcore. She remembers little things about me from things I've mentioned offhand, and goes out of her way to make little things for me since she knows they always cheer me up.

This is where it gets to be hard because I know, realistically, we'd never be a romantic couple in any way since it doesn't make sense, unless I'd be her exception since I'm a trans guy (and she's been one of my strongest allies), and she's pining on a close friend of hers. That doesn't bother me. Well, at least I think it doesn't. Not the crush on her friend thing, the whole idea of being romantically involved. Like I said, what does it even mean to have romantic feelings for someone? I'm not sure.

But, I'd be lying if I said the idea of having something similar to a QPR didn't sound so incredibly nice and that's what gets me wanting to tear up sometimes. I love the idea of us going on adventures and cutesy friend dates together; like to museums, movie theaters, cafes, book / record stores, and anywhere where we can cause some mischief. I love the idea of us being roommates or those friends who buy houses across the street from one another, co-parenting our pets and building up our collections together. I love the idea of us holding hands, cuddling, hugging, sneaking extras of her favorite snacks into her lunch bag for work, surprising her with tickets to bands she's wanted to see or her favorite takeout order for when she comes home, giving each other loving affirmations like we always have, and stuff like that. Just being in her company in general means a lot to me - like it recharges me.

I think she knows I have a lot of love for her and we've been completely transparent about things like boundaries and we'd tell the other person if any were crossed. So far, none have. I suppose this is me feeling torn on wanting to be more open about how, I guess, ride or die I am for her and the idea of losing our friendship scares me since she's been open about having emotionally toxic and abusive friends - and I never want to be another reason why she doesn't want to trust others; especially if they had ulterior motives with befriending her.

Why do feelings have to be so damn complicated?

Hi Anon,

That sounds like a complex situation to be in. First, I want to reassure you that it's totally normal to have complicated feelings and pinings around friendship. (And, even if it wasn't, it's still okay and valid for you to experience it.)

I can tell how much you truly care about and cherish your friend. It sounds like she also truly cares about and cherishes you.

One thing I talk about somewhat often on this blog is my attempts to re-order how I tend to think about relationships. For example, instead of deciding on a "type" of relationship I want, and then the things we do together (or who we are to each other) follow that "type," I am trying to reverse that -- to start with what I want to do with a person and who I want to be to them, and then whatever words can follow... or not.

It sounds like you have great communication with her, and that she'd be respectful if you told her you'd like to do some of the things you mentioned: friend dates, being roommates, co-parenting pets, etc. I can also see how you want to tread carefully because of things she's been through.

If you're okay with it, I think you could gently approach her and tell her some of the things you'd like to do (maybe starting with some of the "lower stakes" things like the friend dates) and see how that goes.

Complicated feelings are hard, but it's definitely possible to navigate them and create joy with people we cherish.

I hope you update us on things if you feel comfortable!

#asks #anon #queerplatonic #queerplatonic relationships #qpr #qpp #communication #queerplatonic positivity

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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We have a huge number of things going on and we will get to them now or in a moment

Thor Freya

These people are massively annoying and their son and daughter just ignoring them and it's because we have to do the job and it's the right thing to do but they're dangerous and he expressed it today so we're going to start taking his people out here I really appreciate him saying that I have a moment to speak and he talked to her for a couple times I want people to team up with me and get rid of this jerk and the other one too and the other one they're wasting time and it's very valuable I'm going to put how many minutes they wasted this month or hours even I mean it's just terrible and we really don't have time for it

Zig Zag

And we thank him and he is our father and she is our mother and her friends and relatives to some but we will now announce what's going on and I'm sending people to help them and it is a trial watching these two people screw around with him they're very sick of it so he did a few things today to make sure that it wasn't going to happen again

-you started taking their money away every single penny here we noticed that too our son wanted to tell John Rena Lord but the phones are taking the money out of the bank and he didn't want to hear it cuz he actually get in trouble and he doesn't think he gets in trouble by bothering her son he's a moron okay he didn't tell him a million times and show him a million examples and the stupid a****** still won't get it so we're going after him I'm going to lay him well and then take him apart.

-it's a very large number of people who want to get rid of John greenbelord and company and for good reason they want the money and we keep mentioning that he has a ton of money because he sold all the stock and he had like 95% of it we made a lot of money means that it's a lot of money it's a lot more money than we can seemingly Express it's thousands and thousands 10,000s of millions of octillions it's way way up there and into the area where half of it might not even be real because it's too much money and the businesses that we purchased are not producing as much because so many people died that's another thing too that the businesses were sold to us as the population was declining and is hoping that the economy would be ruined and didn't do anything we reduced production and our prices are very cheap and we're not stupid like he thought. He's going to be up on charges of espionage being a traitor to his kind and he should be he's trying to say he's helping and he had his arm back was driving a pickup truck by in like 5 minutes or less and he had her do it and we couldn't believe it no we could and sometimes it grows differently but you know it's on some sort of growth hormone is a piece of crap even though he might be with a symbian. She has a ton of money and we're going to make sure that people know about it I'm going to advertise it by posting it here in other places

-we have a huge personal score to settle with this idiot but there are a lot of things happening and punta Gorda Port Charlotte county Florida in the world one of them is there's a lot of money on the line this assholes in the way of commerce and it's economic terrorism and he's being brought up in charges right now in court in front of people and for murder it doesn't take much of it because it seems to be very stupid now he's starting to sweat a little and he sees that he's getting arrested a lot and he's not blaming our son right now. He's looking around the courtroom and he's trying to think of what to say and they're reading charges there's a list about 20 charges up to 19 and the stopping and they're saying we've registered them all and you may be seated and he's just sitting there looking around so he's going to probably go to prison and hopefully it's Cool hand Luke and exposes that area and what was happening and Stan was not guilty of those crimes and some of those people may have gone through it and he wants to know about it

-there's a few other crimes and other things going on that this guy's getting arrested for but here in punta Gorda the police are firing the remaining for police people and they don't want the reputation and their crap nobody cares and they asked around they said to keep them on for a ride or something and said no instead of people want them on there they said not really they're just running around terrorizing us has cops me right complaints everyday and reports every day like he does nothing happens so I said okay so they released them from duty same with the sheriff and they're telling him what he's locked up

-there's a lot of other people here in the other happenings there's a lot of agencies that are defunct now because people are jerks and we're screwing people over and didn't care if they were caught and it's just really bad business is what they call it and we do too not that we break the law we're just bring it in terrorists but these agencies are shrinking one of them is Florida law enforcement went through some gyrations today but the Max and others were going through actual generations and they fired and laid off another $20,000 of them leaving $15,000 these guys are starving for affection an attention and ran around threatening the crap out of everyone and they were at the mall being dicks the whole time and it's been going on for several years and finally someone stood up and said get them the hell out of here and it was not mac. And this continued on and people were listening to him and see idiot and he had no idea what he's talking about. And Garth is on TV and he's a little kid and a little girl want to know why and it said people can see all that and it said yeah they beat you up after the show every time it's me and how can they tell it's me he asks they ask you and you said to you and you're arrogant and they beat you to death. So he says I want to go home nobody's watching out for me I'm on my own and since you're treating our son like that and you shouldn't and you get beat up for it and he keeps saying you're not stopping me said we're not going to devote energy to something we don't care about then he said tell him he's dead so we hear you saying tell him we put a bounty on him and said dead or alive and we prefer dead and we sent it out and he died and in question you said I said tell him he is and he said kill him again so the guy keeps dying and we don't care you're almost gone you're stupid and showed him all these people of his dying in front of him and he didn't seem to care so we're just going to keep doing it nice people are a bunch of asses. But the other agency I actually the law enforcement people Florida law enforcement reduced to 15,000 and later in the day 10,000 and they were so boisterously loud and angry and hateful they went back to the office found the 10,000 and tell them all while they're in police vehicles the Florida law enforcement agents and those particular police arrested 500 of them and kept on going they brought in about 2,000 idiots finally they said this idiots are not going to stop doing this I'm trying to defend ourselves and they won't shut up. And there's there are 15,000 so they said we're going to make it dragnet and we're going to haul them all in and see why they're so stupid they hauled them all in there questioning them scanning them testing their blood asking them what they been doing and find out they're all on some kind of drug it's meth so they're going to go after the meth and it's really what it is makes people stupid and John remillard is doing it next door and they're both very stupid they're horribly horribly dumb so it's one of the reasons why they're so idiotic but the Florida law enforcement agency is brought down to 10,000 from $15,000 earlier today

-later on today the Florida law enforcement agency started to crack about an hour ago and those 10,000 made of dragnet try getting beat up by everybody and are getting chased out of the office and their uniforms are getting taken their vehicles and people driving around is them doing crimes and I never coming back

-the Florida highway patrol had 35,000 people the other day and today was reduced to $25,000 the similar thing happened but they're driving around on the highway chasing each other all day long finally the 25,000 left said we need to drive that and started pulling in tons of them about 50,000 later $100,000 and they said how many of you are there that's it for each cop that's like 200 US just like everybody so they did the math they said it's not that bad and really it is it's 2 million people. So calling for help to see if the sheriff could arrest them with them and it said not really so they're going nuts and they're doing it and they have to rest 100 people each which is about true it's a little less like 80 people and a sense is just 80 people each so you have to deputize your people temporarily make sure it's temporary or you'll probably get impeached and they said okay so they deputies are people and they got up like 1.9 million and almost there and someone said there's a whole batch of them coming here and they called for military backup and said they're attacking your area too and they got wiped out and now those $25,000 think they're doing great so they're hitting and taking the restroom down 100,000 and they went down easy and the stuffed them all in the prisons and they're disappearing and also they hear this in the radio you guys did a great job now I have to come after you what you doing is illegal it was Mac and said how did you learn how to do that and he said that this guy deputized people who said temporarily so we wouldn't get in trouble and it says well you have to take them off deputy list so I don't know this time so max is a picture of Chris with the red hair and let them off a little and the highway patrol left happy and they're at the houses and it's probably not going to be great but that's how many people there were and they did check and it was a little bit more than that and it would hog wild a little later and it takes a lot of work but they said but we can get it done and so they had to do it because they're getting blamed and they wouldn't shut up so wondering what makes them sick and so aggressive and our sense is just simply cannot drink the water you can't drink it at all and I shouldn't be showering that long and you have to boil everything it's a hormone and it said what hormone this is something in the water from whatever is below here it's making everyone nuts and I have some way of dealing with it my body does so they look and there's something in the water and it's a hormone and it's very potent so I'll stop drinking the water and they think they'll be fine but they are in trouble for deputy dozen people but you had him do it so they let him off on that and we'll probably happen is this more than two million people and that's probably true. Now there's a whole bunch of people who are in trouble for doing that kind of thing no

-50,000 people and millions and then several activity from the north and south and more we're attacking today and to the tune of about 80 octillion people they're all dead and it affected leadership they were 3,200 this afternoon it's down to 3,000 there were about 20% left this afternoon around 4:00 p.m. and they kept attacking and now there's about 15% government employees left. Now that's very low that's not many coming employees it is a serious reduction in Florida and globally it came down to 75% out it is a huge number and 3,000 of the local higher-ups really means that the government in DC is reduced as well I have the two houses there's about 800 people the Senate and the Congress and the cabinet has about 1,000 and we're getting down to those people and it's only 1,200 people away. And it's starting to realize that. And they're not reacting accordingly they're complete jerks they're acting very stupidly and John got arrested for his crimes but you've had never would happen and our son said you're doing it yourself was ridiculous behavior. And that's what it is

This afternoon they had a problem with the sheriff at about 6:30 and we are doing something else he came around to this location and start making accusations that our son set him up to be murdered by his wife's sister and said were you murdered he says no did the police come and arrest you says yes do you think that you're murdered because the police came and arrested you for your crimes so he said no then why the hell would I be trying to have you murdered by sheriffs perhaps and said no by my wife said so what she's trying to kill you for your program everybody knows that and it's a s***** program I don't care you're trying to kill her so you going to be arrested cuz people knew it on the bus. So you got a little nervous and drove out and the cops were there and they heard him mumbling I don't care if he's accusing me I'm trying to hurt her and they said this and they pull them over who you talking to you realize we listen to the thing and you think it was stupid because we're pulling you over because you're going to get arrested why is that every time you go to prison you get closer to being cremated instead that's why I said it doesn't really work that way if you get cremated you can't do anything so so the guy says this how would I know that I've never been cremated so they pull them out and pull this badge off okay well he didn't get out yet but still these things that need to happen

-there are other things that happened here in Port Charlotte and punta Gorda and one of them is we had a huge problem with traffic this week and it's been way over the top there's way too many people driving around and people try to stop them and it can't they try something from coming here they can and it's like 5,000 people driving all over town and don't do anything people just get in drive around and it sucks have someone seen it before too and they know what they're doing they're trying to get people used to excess traffic and trying to say don't pay attention to it now we are and they are and we're going to just start grabbing you and your cars.-his assistant saying why it's because you're trying to transport nuclear devices and other bombs and other explosives to try and rig the place and as you do it you're pointing out stuff you rigged and it's been taken out or it's being taken out and you keep doing it

-there's a huge number of people wondering why you're so stupid but we don't want to explain that we're busy there are other agencies that are falling and you wouldn't know unless we told you the department of health organization which is outside of the State department of health and Federal department of health have fallen completely and the police have been disbanded and they're running around like maniacs trying to get our son into the hospital and we're putting them in the hospital or the morgue as a result and I've sent out orders and people see them there to be arrested immediately

-there's a few other things happening these people are trying to screw around with this constantly and we are rejecting what they're doing and I can't stand them and I can't stand looking at them and they keep on asking for trouble just television show and sign mystery and it's a cop show and the several stars on there from a particular movie and it's not sweetie Todd that's a famous film it's kind of a monster film and it's kind of lame but it's important cuz it starts the mob full films off and it's having trouble placing what it's from it's like the Bronx tale it's kind of cheesy it might be West side story and he says that is very appropriate and he likes it because theye'll be mincemeat. Social prelude to Dr Octavio and that exposes the Zion small tanks which exposes the larger Cameron and the humongous one which is full of The matrix it's actually where it's filmed it's not actually in Australia

-the several other things happening here there's a few agencies that people are not watching that are becoming disbanded one of them is the department of fisheries and wildlife law enforcement and it was under the Florida law enforcement and they changed it and there was like 10,000 agents left today and they went ahead and they stopped them from banding together and start picking them all off. And they started resting them and they started to take them in he's trying talking about what's going on he said you people are the good guys you're doing it right and can't wait to keep doing it we have bombs and they said we'll show it will show you where they are and it showed some and they were there real bombs they got a whole bunch of it out of them and there's a bunch of out there where the Army is getting shot up and it's like chaos and you can't see it set the scan after every battle and it's going to be in pain but that's what they got to do and go ahead and started that today it's a big mistake on their part because they're going to scan all over the place and they're going to detonate some devices and the people will be dead and it's going to happen

-giant numbers of people see this guy John remillard will not shut up to our son at all so they're helping and the rest of them and getting rid of their people finally and taking the money tons of money cuz of his stupid mouth

-we also started smoking them for sticking his face in ours we got rid of a lot of them

-there's a giant number of things happening here and we touched on a few and we're going to come back in a moment and post so we don't lose this

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus

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cajuice · 2 years

Text

a letter, an apology and an excuse.

Dear old love,

please be happy. Happy people usually don't come back at decisions and you have already decided I no longer serve you. For a while, this won't be totally fine be me, but I'll survive, I promise. Be happy because I need you to not need me anymore; I need help keeping away from you because love sometimes doesn't work out - but it survives deep inside - and within I still feel a dying flame aching for you. And you're sad and think about coming back, my heart probably will take you.

Be happy in an unnerving way, the happy kind happiness that bothers and is loud and is brave and is absurd and obscene! Be obscene as you always wanted. Public small sexual acts, grab your next girlfriend's boob if she allows, but don't forget to hold her hand. Do those things you did to me - but not all of them. Don't hurt her. Please. Be happy!

Find a cat that loves you like you wanted to. I've always been "a dog kinda gal", kinda sappy and energetic all around yet lazy and hungry when there's time for lacking. Buy that horrible couch you wanted and I didn't, paint that wall red with gold stamps. Dye your hair again. Lately, I saw you just got your eyebrows pierced like you would when I told you it was not the greatest idea. You kinda look good and, don't forget, be happy.

I've always been happy - even in our bad days - I just guess I grew tired of fitting in little pots when I actually am a bigger plant. A rose tree trying to spread my branches all over your garden. Those little ceramic pots of yours used to suffocate me and I went rebel. I went rebel and I went cold and I started to slowly die. I'm alive now, if you mind to mind. I'm beginning to feel happy again after we spread apart and you left.

The apartment is not the same. I'm thinking of painting the walls blue like I told you I wanted. I bought a couch, a chair, a table, some plants, a new TV and still there's so much left to buy! The dog misses you but every day a little less. We go for daily walks, she gets tired easily and not as easy as before now! She never not sleep with me, it's kinda funny sometimes how she spasms softy, her little feet napping against my back as she hastily cuddles me - like you used to. Sometimes she has nightmares and so do I, but we're here for each other and we're always by each other's side.

I go to the gym and it's tiring but I'm happy. I'm happy because of the hormones, I went back to the meds, they're not as strong as they were before but here we are again! Sometimes I sleep with the lights on but I'm happy. I'm on my med, gym and therapy in check and I'm growing happy.

The dying rose tree is coming slowly back to life. Day to day life can often be hard and tiring and I'm aware I have to make time to have time to time. I'm thinking about starting to paint again and maybe do some hiking like I always told you! I'm re-discovering myself like I would, like I always should when you were suffocating me. Like I said, love sometimes doesn't work out - but it doesn't mean it's dead. The day I chose to love me than loving you I realized I should be doing this for a while. It wasn't completely your fault, I made some terrible mistakes either and for that, I am sorry.

Anyway, I hope you're happy. Happy people usually don't come back at decisions and I have already decided that you no longer serve me! You don't fit in my life, you don't match my expectations and certainly you're not into putting as much work as I am mentally and physically in the relationship and in myself. Well, yourself! I hope you're happy being you and I am starting to feel happy being me again.

And that's it! Travel safe through this life, I'll always leave a dying spark calling out for our old times...

love always, your little beam of light.

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hyunnie · 3 years

Text

...

#i get kicked out of my friend group chat sometimes cause i say stupid shit and most of the time it's funny and i get added back in p quickly #but this time i actually have stuff i wanna tell them so i ask the friend that usually kicks me out to add me back in #and he just goes no who are you gonna talk to anyways our other friend is busy streaming #and im here like so do you not care about what i have to say?#like you guys are my closest friends i dont have a lot of them is it so bad for me to want to tell you things #i know this kicking out thing is a joke but to say that to me #i've known that he doesnt care about the things i say in chat cause he never responds to them but this just confirms it even more #i just feel like i'm 3rd wheeling my two other friends at this point man #like once we went out for boba and my other friend asked him to buy for her and he immediately agreed #and he didnt even bother offering to pay for me #even though i offer to buy all the time #and my friend recently got into streaming and he watches her streams #but i;ve had my dance instagram for 2 years and he;s never watched or liked a single video #my other friend says something in chat and he'll respond #but when i say something he just reads it and doesnt do anything #we've been friends forever but i guess we're growing apart now #and i'm too scared to bring all this up cause our friend group doesn't have that dynamic #i'm tryna talk to the friend who streams about my feelings on this but shes too busy streaming to check her messages #i used to be able to say whatever in this chat without feeling anything but now i only message when i have important things to say sigh

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imagine-you · 2 years

Text

Make All Your Demons Be Gone pt. 5 (Sirius Black/Reader)

summary: When you first meet your brother's friends, you're not very impressed. You're especially not so keen on Sirius Black and the feeling seems mutual. But as time goes on, you start to realize there's more to the boy who seemed to only hate you because of the house were sorted into. Through heartbreak, loss, danger, and pain, you begin to realize that you need Sirius just as much as he needs you.

chapter word count: 4.8k

author's note: If you like this, please let me know! It would make my day. 💖

read on ao3

Things were tense between you and Severus for a while. You knew it was because of your friendship with Remus, and while you were still furious with Sirius, you were glad that James had enough common sense to stop Severus from walking to his potential mauling.

You gave Severus space, knowing that bothering him wouldn't get you anywhere with him. You instead focused on keeping your marks up and bothering Lily and sometimes Regulus. You also made time for Remus, choosing the first Hogsmeade weekend after the whole debacle to treat him to a Butterbeer.

"So, you know," Remus concluded, watching you across the table you claimed at the Three Broomsticks.

You took a sip of your drink before nodding your head. "Yeah," you sighed.

"And? You still want to be my friend?" Remus asked, his tone telling you he thought you were going to get up at any moment, loudly declaring for everyone in the room that he was a werewolf, before making a run for it.

You shrugged your shoulders. "As far as I'm aware, you're still Remus Lupin, aren't you? You've always been my friend. This doesn't change that," you assured him.

You caught Remus' brief, pleased smile before he finally picked up his own drink from the table.

As the year progressed, it became clear to you that James and Sirius were a dangerous combination. James was your brother, but you had to admit to yourself that he was getting more and more cruel in his taunting of Severus. While you could sometimes put a stop to it, whether through threatening to tell your parents or a teacher, it seemed you couldn't stop everything from falling apart during the middle of your friends' OWLs exams.

You didn't even realize something was wrong at first.

You had tagged along with Lily on her quest to find Severus so the both of them could study together. You had your own end-of-year exams to worry about, but you couldn't deny that getting to get a peek at what the OWLs would be like had its advantages.

You didn't expect to see James and Sirius with Severus and you sure as hell didn't expect to see Severus being held upside down by your brother's spell. You didn't even think before you rushed at James, knocking him over, forcing his spell on Severus to end.

"What's your problem?" Sirius asked, a bright smile on his face. "It's only a joke. Snivellus knows we're only joking."

"You're my problem," you hissed at Sirius. "You and James and whatever this is," you said gesturing between them and Severus. "Why can't you just leave him alone? You only have two years left here and this is how you want to spend it? Grow up," you shouted, turning to look at James. "And you," you snarled, taking a step towards your older brother. "I can't believe you're my brother. James," you started, unsure how to finish your sentence. "I just...you're certainly not the brother I grew up with," you finally said, turning your back on him.

It was then you saw Severus rubbing the back of his head and you feared for a moment that he was seriously injured. Lily took her turn to shout at Sirius and James before she turned to Severus and tried to help him.

You knew Severus was angry from the way his cheeks were flushed and his hands held into tight fists at his sides. You knew Severus was tired of being bullied and it didn't help that his main tormentor was your brother. You knew Severus cared for Lily, but his war for her affections was wearing him down. You knew all of this and yet it didn't excuse what he said next. There was nothing that would ever make it okay.

"I don't need your help," Severus seethed, pushing away Lily's proffered hand. "You filthy mudblood," he spat.

It was like the whole world stopped for a moment. You couldn't breathe or blink, the scene forever frozen in your memories.

Lily went pale, her mouth tightening in shock, before she turned and walked away. You shot Severus a disbelieving look before you ran after Lily.

"Lily," you called, just barely managing to catch up to her. "Are you okay? Severus, he's--"

"I can't believe he called me that. After everything," she said, shaking her head. "He just..." she trailed off, a frown on her face. "I can't believe I've spent all this time being his friend, caring for him, and that's how he's going to end it."

"End it? Lily, it's Severus. He didn't mean it. It was horrible, I know, but he'll apologize and never do it again. And if he does it again, then I'll hex him."

Lily stopped in her tracks, turning to look at you. She glanced around for a moment before seemingly deciding on something. She grabbed your arm, towing you over towards an alcove.

"Lily, what--"

Lily shushed you before casting a muffliato charm over the space. Lily, once satisfied the two of you wouldn't be overheard, finally turned to look at you. "He plans on becoming a Death Eater."

You blinked at Lily in surprise for a moment, wondering if you had somehow misunderstood her. "What?"

"Severus plans on becoming a Death Eater. He told me and apparently he thinks it's a great idea. Some of the older Slytherins have convinced him of it." She noticed the shock on your face and reached out to put a hand on your shoulder. "Surely you've heard talk about it all? I mean, being in Slytherin..." she trailed off. "I just thought you would have known, but you didn't, did you?"

You shook your head, fighting the tears that wanted to escape. Severus becoming a Death Eater? You couldn't imagine it. Since starting at Hogwarts, he had always been your friend. Did he like the dark arts? Sure, but he preferred potions and excelled in that subject. You couldn't imagine your friend casting something as cruel as a crucio on someone or even killing them, much less joining such a terrible, hideous cause.

"Oh, Y/N," Lily started, but you were quick to shake your head.

"No, I'm okay. It's okay. Just a shock," you assured her, offering what you hoped was a smile genuine enough to get her to back off. "Are you okay? I mean, after what he called you?"

"No," Lily answered truthfully. "But he's not my only friend, is he?"

You shook your head before pulling Lily into a hug. "No, he's not," you responded, your thoughts quickly spiraling as you thought of everything that had happened within the past half hour.

It only took you a few more days before you found yourself in a full-blown Slytherin crisis.

You had never really considered the fact that you were in Slytherin might be a bad thing. Sure, the house had a bad reputation of producing dark wizards and there were the snide remarks from other houses. Sure, some of your peers in Slytherin were interested in the dark arts and some even believed in blood supremacy.

But, you thought, it hadn't been all bad. You had Severus and even a few others in Slytherin who made you think that it was all just a big misunderstanding. Slytherins weren't inherently evil, were they? It was just something the other houses said, like all Gryffindors were mindless brutes or all Hufflepuffs were useless cowards.

It just wasn't true, you told yourself. It couldn't be.

But the more you thought about it, the less sure you became. Severus wanted to join the Death Eaters. How many of your peers, Slytherins specifically, had their eyes on that particular group in the hopes they would be considered?

You felt foolish and naive. You hadn't been approached to consider becoming a Death Eater, but maybe it was only a matter of time. You would never consider it, of course, but what if someone thought that you were cut out for it? What did that really say about you?

What if the Sorting Hat saw something in you that you didn't? What if you were destined to end up like every other dark wizard that came from Slytherin? Were you any better than them?

You were stuck in thought, staring out a window near the Charms corridor, when you were forced from your thoughts by someone clearing their throat behind you.

You glanced over your shoulder to see Professor McGonagall standing there. "If I'm not mistaken, Miss Potter, you should be in class right now."

You cleared your throat before hastily moving to stand. "I'm sorry, Professor McGonagall," you said, trying to stealthily wipe away the tear that had fallen. "It won't happen again."

Professor McGonagall considered you for a moment before she nodded back at the ledge you had been sitting on. "Sit, Miss Potter."

"But--"

Professor McGonagall shook her head, ushering you back into your seat. "Can I ask why you're sitting here, clearly upset about something, and not in class or your dorm?"

You tried to think of anything to say that would get you out of this situation. "I--"

"The truth, Miss Potter," Professor McGonagall admonished, as if already knowing you were about to try to lie your way out of talking to her.

You bit your lip, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. You knew you could trust Professor McGonagall, but it was hard trying to be open and honest with someone who you only knew as a teacher.

"The Sorting Hat," you started, taking a deep breath to try to focus your thoughts. "When it placed me in Slytherin, it was because I was ambitious and wanted to prove myself, and I didn't think that was a bad thing. But if there's all this talk about Death Eaters and joining them, then what does that mean for me? Is that what I'm supposed to want, because I'm in Slytherin? Is that what the Sorting Hat saw in me?"

"Miss Potter," Professor McGonagall interrupted. "Breathe."

You forced yourself to take another deep breath, having gotten worked up during your little rant.

"Now, I'm going to tell you something that I think you need to hear. The Sorting Hat, useful as it may be, does not truly know you. While it fulfills its purpose, it is not meant to be something that follows you for the rest of your life. Becoming a Death Eater, as some of your classmates have chosen, is a choice that will follow them for the rest of their lives. What will matter most is if you choose to make that choice for yourself."

You immediately shook your head. "I would never want to be like them," you denied. "They're horrible," you muttered. But Severus wasn't horrible, was he? So, why did he want to be one of them?

"Miss Potter, you being in Slytherin has no real bearing on your life. It decides your peers for your stay at Hogwarts, but it doesn't define you. You define yourself through your choices and from what I've observed over the past four years, you are growing up to become a caring, thoughtful individual. You are going to be okay."

It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Maybe Professor McGonagall was right. Being in Slytherin wasn't your whole life and it certainly didn't have to mean anything. It just meant you were cunning and ambitious, but that didn't have to be a bad thing. You could use those attributes to better yourself and others around you.

"Thanks, Professor," you said, offering her a small, genuine smile.

"Any time, Miss Potter," she replied, offering you a nod of her head. "Now, get to class or it's detention."

Your talk with Professor McGonagall went a long way towards helping you adjust your worldview, but it didn't fix everything.

You ended your fourth year at Hogwarts not talking to your brother, ignoring Sirius for all you were worth, and not talking to Severus.

Severus had tried, once, to talk to you in the Slytherin common room, but when you made it clear you didn't want to talk to him yet, Regulus had been there to step in.

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Snape," Regulus cut in, stepping between you and Severus.

"I don't remember asking for your input, Black," Severus snapped with a scowl.

It had allowed you enough time to slip away to the dorm, confusion and anger threatening to overtake you.

You only spent time with Lily and Remus and on rare occasions, Regulus. Lily had confirmed for you that Severus was still set on becoming a Death Eater, which had sealed his fate with her. After calling her a mudblood, it seemed as if he had truly and completely wrecked their friendship.

You weren't sure where you landed on the issue of Severus, but you needed time and space to figure it out. You didn't think he was truly evil, but horribly misguided. He wanted power, you were sure, but to sign up with the Death Eaters just to procure it? That seemed incredibly extreme to you and you weren't all that sure if you wanted to befriend a Death Eater, even if it was Severus.

It wasn't until you were about to board the Hogwarts Express that you finally talked to your brother again.

You were standing beside Remus, both of you talking about your plans for the summer, when Sirius approached. He put an arm around Remus' shoulders and shot you a smirk.

"Well, it looks like you're trading up, at least," he said, knocking into Remus' side companionably. "A lion is by far better than my snake of a brother."

And really, you knew it was a joke. You knew Sirius only meant to rile you up, but it did a lot more than that. Maybe it was the edge to his tone or the look he gave you, as if maybe he didn't think you were good enough for his friend, but you couldn't take his smarmy attitude any longer.

You pulled out your wand and pointed it at Sirius, only having a moment to register his shocked expression, before you attempted to hex him. You didn't care what kind it was in that moment, only that it caused Sirius some kind of discomfort. Maybe you would give him pepper breath or turn his tongue into a horn, but you didn't get a chance to consider your choices before James was intervening.

"Alright, enough," he snapped, wrapping his fingers around your arm.

"But--" you tried to argue, shooting a glare at Sirius over your shoulder as James towed you away.

He didn't let go until the both of you were alone in a compartment on the train.

"What the hell were you thinking? You could have been expelled! You could have hurt Sirius or someone else if you misfired! What is wrong with you?"

"Me? What the hell is wrong with you?" You squared off against James, all of your anger finally coming out now that you had an outlet. "You've turned into a bully and a complete wanker!"

"If this is about what happened to Sev--"

"It's part of it!" You snapped, not wanting to let your brother talk until you were done. "Do you really think that you have even half a chance with Lily while you're actively torturing her best friend? Former," you hastily corrected yourself. "Do you think that's what she wants? Someone who mocks and laughs and bullies others? Because if you think that's the way to her heart, then you're an idiot too."

You thought James was going to argue with you or maybe yell at you, but instead he simply sat down, staring up at you in thought. "You're right," he finally admitted with a rueful twist to his lips. "I haven't exactly set a good example as a big brother lately, have I?"

You snorted before dropping down onto the seat beside him. "No," you answered. "But you know, it's never too late to change that. A wise woman once told me that we define ourself through our choices. You've made some really bad ones lately, but your story's not over yet."

James sighed before he tilted his head back. "How did you get to be smarter than me, huh? When did I miss that?"

"Well," you said, shooting him a smirk, "I supposed that's what you get for befriending Sirius Black. His idiocy was bound to rub off on you eventually."

James shook his head before elbowing you in the side. "Were you really going to hex him?"

"I wanted to," you confessed with a frown. You felt guilty now that you were further away from the situation. You knew you were bound to snap at Sirius eventually, but since when did you progress from name-calling to prank wars to outright curses? "Thanks for stopping me."

"From now on, I'll promise to stop you from getting expelled for hexing my best friend and you promise to stop me before I become a complete prick. How's that sound?"

"Good," you decided with a nod of your head. "It sounds good."

You managed to reconcile with James on the train ride home, and while things weren't perfect between the two of you, it felt like a step in the right direction.

You were perfectly happy when your summer seemed as if it would be a quiet one. You were content to write to Lily and Remus and even Regulus once or twice.

You contemplated writing Severus, but you didn't know what to say to him now. What if he was spending his time over the summer becoming a Death Eater? What if he was with them now?

You had heard all about the war that was being waged between Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters and anyone who stood in their way. You thought they were a bunch of power hungry monsters and you just couldn't reconcile the fact that Severus wanted to join them in your mind.

You were worried for your friend, but you didn't know how to help him. You hoped that by the time your fifth year began, you would find a way to get through to him if it wasn't too late. You doubted you could succeed where Lily had failed, given Severus' feelings for her, but you would try.

You also spent time with James and worked on your summer assignments and played with Creeper. You started studying for your OWLs, since you would have to worry about them soon enough, and you bested your dad in wizarding chess while your mum watched, an indulgent smile on her face.

It was shaping up to be a perfect break from the usual drama you endured at school, so you shouldn't have been surprised when it didn't last.

Your nice, peaceful summer came to a halt when Sirius Black showed up on the doorstep.

Your parents and James spent a long time in the study speaking with Sirius. You waited just outside the door, trying to hear any bits of information you could catch, but it was hard trying to eavesdrop without giving yourself away. From what you could garner, though, it seemed as if Sirius had run away. Worse yet, your parents were offering to let him stay.

You were furious, of course, but it wasn't truly up to you where Sirius stayed. Your parents were compassionate people, so of course they weren't going to let him end up on the streets. You loved your parents. You adored them. But sometimes, you wished they thought about things like how inviting your brother's best friend to move in would affect you.

You knew it was selfish, but you didn't care. Sirius had been nothing but a jerk to you and you didn't want anything to do with him.

So, in the interest of keeping your summer as peaceful and quiet as you could, you resigned yourself to ignoring Sirius.

You should have known Sirius wouldn't want to be ignored. He tried his best to goad you into another prank war, but you weren't having it. You ignored the snide remarks and hot sauce that found its way into your orange juice. You didn't let him know you even noticed the frog spawn soap or the other old tricks he tried to pull. You figured he would get bored of it eventually, and in the meantime, you would act like he didn't exist.

Your brilliant plan worked up until one night in late July when you woke up in the early hours of the morning and needed a glass of water.

You thought it would be a quick trip. Everyone else was asleep, so it wasn't like you would have to stop and talk to anyone. But before you could make it to the kitchen, you were drawn up short when you noticed the light was still on in the study.

You assumed your father forgot to turn it off, so you opened the door, intent on turning off the light and continuing your mission to get a glass of water. But you didn't expect to find Sirius sitting in the study, staring into the fireplace, a thoughtful frown on his face.

You must have made some kind of noise, because Sirius turned to look at you.

"Oh," he breathed, blinking slowly at you. "It's you."

You watched him for a moment before you moved into the room. "Have you been drinking?"

"Nope," Sirius denied with a firm shake of his head, but then he brought up a glass of what looked a lot like your father's whiskey.

You rolled your eyes before taking the glass from him. "So, what, my parents let you stay here and you decide to raid the liquor cabinet?"

Sirius shrugged his shoulders, expression sullen as he leaned back in his seat. "Just needed somethin' to stop thinking," he sighed. "Kept thinking about my parents and how much my mother must hate me by now."

You should leave him here. You should really leave him here, get your glass of water, and then go back to bed. Or, maybe you should go get James. He could talk to his best friend and you could go back to sleep. Instead, you found yourself joining Sirius on the couch.

"Why'd you leave?" You couldn't help but ask, curiosity getting the best of you.

Sirius snorted before turning his head to look at you. "If you met them, then you'd know why. They're nothing like your parents. They're cruel and cold and believe in all that barmy blood supremecy nonsense. And yet, I'm the disappointment."

"Sounds rough," you muttered, at a loss for anything else to say. You were so used to fighting with Sirius or trying to prank him that having an actual civilized conversation with him was completely out of your element.

"That's what's so great about the Potters," Sirius continued. "They're pure blood, but they don't care. If James marries Lily, then they won't care. If I even thought about dating a muggleborn, my mum would have a fit. I wouldn't put it past my mum to try to poison anyone I dated she didn't approve of. I don't see things their way and suddenly I'm a disgrace and disowned. Your parents would never do that to you or James."

"Yeah," you sighed, knowing he was right. Your parents had always loved you unconditionally. You couldn't imagine what it would be like to have parents who didn't approve of you and threatened to drop you completely out of their lives. "What will you do now? Since they disowned you," you clarified at his look of confusion.

"Oh, lucky me, I have an uncle named Alphard who left me quite the inheritance. He was kind of like me, y'know? No real place in the family. It's enough that I can disown the name of Black if I wish to, so at least I can take care of myself."

"Do you miss them, though?"

"No," Sirius immediately answered. "We were never really a family. Or, I guess Regulus was the son they always wanted, but not me. A family full of mad people," he sighed. "If you spend enough time around Hellatrix, you'll understand."

You let quiet settle between the both of you for a moment while you thought of what to say. You knew Sirius didn't get along with his family, but you never considered the toll it might take on him. You couldn't imagine growing up in a family that you resented or maybe even hated. You weren't sure you would ever be friends with Sirius, but you were glad for just a moment that your parents were the kind of people that would give him a safe place to stay.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"What?" You were so shocked by the words that you figured you must have heard wrong.

"I said I'm sorry," Sirius repeated with a sigh.

"You really are drunk," you commented, surprised by the laugh Sirius let out at your words.

"You caught me before I could take more than a sip," Sirius assured you. "Is me apologizing really that much of a shock?"

"Well, yeah," you answered. "As long as I've known you, you've called me a snake and excluded me and tricked me."

"Yeah, well, James spoke to me," Sirius admitted, tilting his head back to rest on the back of the couch. "I thought just because you were in Slytherin, that you were like all the rest. Like Snivelly and Hellatrix and even Malfoy. I've seen the way you are, though. You're not like them. Still a snake, don't get me wrong, but you're harmless."

You squinted at Sirius for a moment, trying to figure out if this was another prank. But the longer you watched him, the more sure you were that Sirius was being genuine.

"Thanks," you finally told him. "Does this mean you'll stop pranking me?"

Sirius pretended to think about it before shooting you a wide grin. "Probably not," he said. "But I can try to stop calling you a snake. You are, after all, my future sister-in-law."

"Oh, shut up," you said, pulling a pillow free from behind your back and hitting Sirius over the head with it. "Regulus just needs a friend, is all," you sighed.

"Probably," Sirius agreed. "He's so concerned with what our parents want that he has no personality of his own."

You wanted to argue and tell Sirius he was wrong, but you didn't know how to tell Sirius that Regulus wasn't all bad. He might not be fighting his parents all too hard on their blood supremacy ways, but you didn't think Regulus was evil so much as misguided. You figured Severus and Regulus were a lot alike in that way, which might be why Sirius clashed with the both of them so often.

"Guess I should be off to bed," Sirius said, pushing himself to stand with a sigh. He reached a hand out towards you, prompting you to let him tug you up off the couch. "I guess you're alright after all. Thanks for...you know..." he trailed off, glancing at the nearly full glass of whiskey you had set down on a side table.

"Yeah, well, James is a bit of a nightmare if he doesn't get a full night's sleep. It seemed cruel to set him on you when you were all broody."

Sirius rolled his eyes before offering you a smile. "Good night, Y/N. Try not to dream of me too much, yeah?" He said with a wink before brushing past you, leaving the study.

You crossed the room and decided to empty the glass of whiskey in the kitchen sink, since you didn't want Sirius to get in trouble. It was enough of a novelty that you had to take a moment to process the thought. Not wanting Sirius to get in trouble? You were sure it wouldn't last, knowing him, but you supposed you could do him at least one favor after what he went through with his family.

Once you had your glass of water and were safely back in bed, beneath your covers, you couldn't help but wonder if this was a turning point in your relationship with Sirius. Maybe you didn't have to hate each other for the rest of your lives. Maybe, if he stopped being an insufferable prick and you decided to be a little open-minded, the two of you could find a way to get along after all.

As you slipped off to sleep, you couldn't help but smile at the thought that maybe it wasn't the worst thing that could happen to you.

taglist: @iwritesiriusly @emily1d97 @mizelophsun11 @alexsanderwh0re @mysticalfuncollectorus @leilaniwastaken @honeybxes @esn0ra @siriusement @takem3tothelakes @fangeekkk (if you would like to be added or taken off the list, just let me know!)

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #harry potter #sirius black x reader #harry potter imagine #sirius black x you #harry potter fanfiction #james potter #marauders #imagine #reader insert #reader is a potter #reader is a slytherin #make all your demons be gone fic #my fic

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leolynn · 2 years

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more ghostbusters headcannons because i cannot stop thinking about that movie

- okay i've already talked about how phoebe is autistic (and that they're nonbinary, i'll be using they/she for her) and thats literally a fact, theres no debate there

- so we're gonna think about stimming

- they flap their hands when theyre really excited

- but when shes nervous they quickly touch each of their fingers to their thumbs

- they saw trevor do it once and she hasn't been able to stop doing it since

- he was really just practicing guitar chords in the air but hey anything to help his little sister

- he took lessons when his dad was around and they could afford them.

- his guitar was the last birthday present from his dad he ever got.

- he doesn't own one, but he taught himself ukulele

- he can fake it on piano, too. usually sounds jazzy.

- he likes 80's music, rock, and alt music, with the occasional rap or pop song thrown in

- he makes lucky this TERRIBLE mixtape and she treasures it

- guys. guys. please can we talk about how much trevor cares about his younger sibling????

- they're three years, two months, and one week apart in age. because i said so.

- they don't always get along, he loves to tease her but most of the time it doesn't bother them like he wants it to so he leaves her alone

- she doesn't like physical affection, so he shows his appreciation for them in different ways

- words of affirmation is a big one for phoebe, so often trevor will say things like "that's awesome dude!" even when he doesn't really understand what they're doing

- he knows full well that phoebe is smarter than he is

- it bothered him growing up because she got more attention than he did, but when they started showing traits of autism, a lot of that praise disappeared and was replaced with crueler words.

- thats when he knew he had to protect her

- because if it was big enough for his dad to leave, it was big enough for other people to taunt his baby sister about

- trevor misses his dad so much

- he has his phone number on his phone, but most of the time his dad never picks up or says "hey buddy, i can't talk right now, can i call you back?" and never does, so trevor has kind of given up on him.

- his dad doesn't send christmas or birthday presents anymore either

- dad wasn't good with finances either, but having two incomes definitely helped

- phoebe, having never really been close to him, doesn't miss him as much as they would miss the idea of a father figure like some of their book characters have. they definitely see Gary as a father figure once she gets used to him

- phoebe is a massive reader!!! obviously. they mostly read nonfiction and textbooks, college papers, things like that, but they enjoy a good novel here and there.

- their reading level has always been insane.

- trevor and callie have never been readers so the only books they have around were either Egon's old books or belong to phoebe.

- GARY !!!!

- gary loves to take the kids out.

- it gives callie a night off to relax and take care of herself

- and its great bonding time for the kids!

- he takes them to dinner and sometimes they go see movies. he makes sure to check the IMDB listing for any content he wouldn't want either of them to see. he doesn't take phoebe to anything rated higher than PG-13 but he and trevor see an occasional R-rated movie

- he buys them popcorn and candies and sometimes even sodas because he actually really really loves spoiling them.

- gary's love languages are quality time and gift giving

- callie has a ton of little trinkets from gary

- he goes to the local antique store and goes "this reminds me of her. i should get it for her"

- a quality man

- they do have the occasional stupid argument and most of the time gary can't figure out what he's done wrong until after callie has stormed upstairs and locked herself in her bathroom and one of the kids points out the exact thing that hurt her feelings

- he obviously never means to hurt her feelings its just sometimes they're not good at communication

- but if he knows he's messed up, he'll make her bed and heat up some tea and rehearse his apology until she's cooled down enough to unlock the bathroom door to talk to him

- they're not perfect, no one is, but they love each other.

- trevor accidentally taught phoebe to swear and now they won't stop going "shitfuck!" like its one word. he thinks its kind of funny but callie doesn't.

- podcast, when hes much much older, joins tumblr

- his posts are super detailed supernatural events and snippets of his podcast

- he gets a couple more listeners because of the account (and their youtube channel!)

- and then he convinces phoebe to join tumblr too

- their blog is completely empty except for one or two posts about the ghostbusters

#you can find the first one under #ghostbusters: afterlife #phoebe spengler #trevor spengler #ghostbusters #headcanons #long post #gary grooberson #paul rudd #finn wolfhard #mckenna grace #im sorry

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booksweet · 3 years

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Once upon a time happened at The Dorms...

request: anon | headcanons

starring: Oikawa, Kageyama, Sugawara, Komori

contents: SFW, fluff

— applications for the Haikyuu University are closed —

"Did you understand, Kageyama?"

Your voice soft interrupting his thoughts. You were helping him with these reports of his, since you master the subject and he asked for your help.

"Hm" He hums while narrowing his eyes at his textbook and his notes. "Nope, this author doesn't make sense at all."

"Why?"

"Well, there are words..."

"Right..."

"And they're here" he points to the book. "Connected, but they don't make sense. Why is academic language so annoying?"

"I wish I knew, Kags" You sigh. "I wish I knew."

"Oya, y/n" Oikawa pries into the living room. "Is he bothering you?"

"Oh, Hi, Tooru" You greet him with a smile growing on your lips. "We're just studying."

"It seems more like torture" Kageyama mutters.

"Oh, I know it's hard, Tobio" Oikawa grins. "But I know you can do it." He winks at you. "Or not"

You roll your eyes. "Let's to back, Kageyama" you hold your pen in between your fingers, sometimes rolling then throught your hand and your joints. "See, keep up with me, what did you interpret from the first paragraph?"

"Uh..." He flinches and scratch his scalp embarrassed. "Nothing at all"

"Tobio, please" You try again. "You have to put a little effort on this!"

"I am! It's not my fault they don't make sense!" He humbles in frustration and turned to Oikawa. "Hey, shut up, okay? Shut up"

"I wasn't going to say a word!" Oikawa says outraged.

You sigh. Here we go, another fight of these two. But suddenly, Komori and Suga slams your apartments door. They're with ordered food on their arms.

"I think you're in need of some rescue, aren't ya?" Suga smiles.

"Yes, what about a break? We brought some good food here" Komori cheers.

You laugh at kageyama's pouty face. "Yeah, yeah, let's have a break. I'm hungry too."

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odetogyus · 3 years

Text

wait

↳pairing/s: idol boyfriend!yugyeom x fem!reader

↳genre: angst (w/ a happy ending lol), idol!au

↳warnings: profanity, mentions of alcohol consumption, trust issues

↳song: wait by maroon 5

✎author's note: idk what I was going through when I wrote this but this was from my 2018 archive and I think this baby needs to see the light of day,, so here it is!

—

"The concert should be done now," you thought to yourself while staring at your phone.

Since your brother's wedding was in 2 days, you didn't have time to fly to Toronto to see your boyfriend and his group perform. You've been on a few tours with them– sometimes working as a stylist for Yugyeom and the whole team. JYP himself even sends you an extra ticket to every single country the boys go to just in case you wanted to come with, but this time however, you had to stay home to help out with your brother's wedding.

It's been almost 3 years since you started dating Yugyeom. What started out as a very unexpected interaction at a dance showcase, later bloomed into something so beautiful. Your relationship wasn't always pretty. In fact, it's true what they say about the first year; it definitely is the hardest.

You've seen them grow, not just as artists but as people, too. You've built such tight relationships with each and every one of them, even the staff members. GOT7 was a family and you were over the moon to be a part of it.

After a few hours of waiting, you decided to take a hot shower before taking a nap. It was a tiring day for you and your family. The wedding was in 2 days and there were a lot of things left to do. You also knew very well that the boys come out exhausted after every show, and so you fought back the slightest feeling of worry in your head and fell into a deep sleep.

–

You woke up to the sound of your phone going off.

BREAKING NEWS

MEMBERS OF THE KPOP GROUP– GOT7, WERE SEEN AT A CLUB IN TORONTO AFTER THEIR CONCERT. MEMBERS MARK TUAN, JACKSON WANG & KIM YUGYEOM WERE SPOTTED HEAVILY INTOXICATED WITH 3 UNKNOWN WOMEN JOINING THEM AT THEIR TABLE. NO OFFICIAL STATEMENTS REGARDING THE INCIDENT HAS BEEN RELEASED BY JYP ENTERTAINMENT.

People you knew and didn't know were tagging you everywhere. Every photograph, every article, they all had their eyes on Yugyeom, and they all had their eyes on you, too.

Your brother's fiancée barged into your room shortly after the news broke out. She was always there for you, and the relationship you shared was a very special one. You trusted her, and you never hid anything from her after the first time she saw you cry.

"Y/N," your almost sister-in-law cooed. You both knew that it was very unlikely of Yugyeom to act that way, but then again, the people surrounding them aren’t always angels. No one really is.

Just then, the name you've been waiting to see finally popped up on your screen, but this time, you weren't sure if you had the guts to answer him.

"Should I answer?" You asked, sounding miserable as ever. Tears escaped your eyes, glistening like broken glass when the sunlight hits the surface.

"You need to hear it from him, Y/N. I'll be in the kitchen, let me know if you need anything."

Accepting the call, you swallowed hard enough and prepared yourself for what could either be the most painful truth you had to hear, or the biggest lie ever you had to believe.

"Y/N.. hey, please let me explain," Yugyeom's voice was incredibly raspy and shaky, and you knew damn well that he was in tears. It's only been a few hours since the incident, so it was safe to say that he was still quite hungover. You knew they were well taken care of, but what happened cannot be rewritten again. What's done is done.

"Go ahead," you answered. Holding back your tears is always the hardest when you know that you have no choice but to endure the pain.

"We had a few drinks, and we had fun. We had so much fun. The boys and I, the staff. Me and Jackson hyung tried the hose thingy, it was so– cool– but, but I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry–"

"Do you just.. wanna talk when you’re not like.. this, Yugyeom? Because if you're gonna keep doing this, I might as well just hang up and talk to my fucking wall–"

Oh, the theatrics of a brokenhearted beast.

"No.. stop, listen to me, I'm trying to explain!"

"Okay, then do it," you said angrily. The tears from your eyes were flowing down uncontrollably. It was so painful that you couldn't even hear anything else but the sound of his lies breaking you continuously.

"Mark hyung joined us, and we got so drunk, and next thing you know, these random girls sat with us at the table. I don't remember a lot but– I think one even bit my neck– it hurts, and she– I think she sat on my lap but I think I tried to push her off but I passed out. I don't really remember anything else–"

"You know, Gyeom? Sometimes, I wish you knew what it's like to be the one that patiently waits for you to come home, hoping that the worries in your head just disappear. How could you be so irresponsible? Man.. how could you do this to me? To us?"

"Y/N, you know I love you more than anything else but for fuck's sake, will you please believe me? My head hurts so much and you're acting up! Jesus!"

Yugyeom knew not to push your buttons, but in that state of his, he pushed it all, not missing one.

"Well, if that’s the case then I’m sorry. I’m sorry for caring too much, and for being all up in your business all the fucking time. Have fun remembering how you got that stupid hickey of yours, I’m done–"

"No, you are not hanging up on me, Y/N. It was a mistake, okay? God, my head is killing me and I just.. need you to believe me. I drank too much, and I know it’s bad, but I swear to fucking God, I didn’t do anything to hurt you. I would never hurt you. But you need.. to stop being difficult.. you’re making things worse here–"

The tension grew even more. You were both screaming your lungs out at each other, thousands of miles away from the other.

"Really now?" You spat bitterly. That was it for you. The last straw. "Well then, I know my brother invited you to the wedding, but don't bother showing up. I don't want to see you."

Your harsh words must've hurt Yugyeom so much, that his screams of anger just managed to slip out of his already worn out body.

"You're really throwing this all away– huh? Almost 3 years worth of memories? Just because I made a mistake, just because I don't remember everything that happened to me while I was intoxicated? You think I wanted those girls to come close to us? You're so– Y/N, you really think I wanted to hurt you, don't you? So now.. you do this? You're really breaking up with me? On the phone? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Trust, Yugyeom. Trust. You broke the most important thing we built. Do you know how hard it is to do this? To date someone like you? People send me death threats, Yugyeom. Just because I decided to be with you. Do you even know how I feel? Do you know how Mark's girlfriend feels? How Jackson's girlfriend feels? Because I do. We all fucking get it!"

"Okay, trust. But let me ask you Y/N, if things were so difficult, why are you still here? Why date me when you could've left? That's what you wanna do anyway, right? You wanna leave, you wanna be free, right?"

But it’s not freedom if it’s not with you.

The bitter taste of surprise was too much for you. It was never meant to hurt that much, but it did.

"Wanna know why I'm still here, Yugyeom?"

"Why," he spat coldly.

"Because I thought that– loving you, oh god, I thought that that was more than enough to believe that we'd make it. But at this point, maybe we're both just better off alone. Separate ways, Gyeom."

Yugyeom let out a faint laugh. The most painful laugh one could ever laugh. A laugh of defeat.

"You're really doing this, huh? This is what you want? You're really doing this to us–"

"You don't need to show up at the wedding.. I'll just, tell them about us after. We'll meet when we're both ready to talk. Be safe."

"Fuck this, Y/N. Fuck–"

And with that, you hung up.

Your heart was broken once again, not by the same person, but because of the same reason you kept your heart safe and hidden in the first place.

Trust.

Yugyeom was your true love. The man you believed to be was your person. The person you entrusted your fragile self to. The person you needed.

But maybe he doesn't need you.

Putting your phone on silent, you cried yourself to sleep, wishing you'd never wake up.

—

wedding day.

Your eyes were still tired and gloomy, but you were better. You haven't heard from him since the fight and although it hurt you too much to be that person to hang up and end things, you knew better than to mope all day and question your existence.

"You look so beautiful in that dress! I'm so happy you chose that style! It's just perfect," your brother's soon-to-be wife exclaimed. She was the one who held you tight when your heart broke for the wrong guy, and she was also the one who held you when Yugyeom couldn't. It's safe to say she's the sister you never had.

"Thanks, I'm happy to be here. I'm so excited for you and my brother. I don't know what you see in him but I'm thankful you stuck around."

The bride smiled with tears welling up in her eyes. "You stick around for the one you love, Y/N. Even when the storm hits and everything falls apart, wait it out, then love again."

The wedding venue was everything you imagined it to be. A beautiful pathway to the garden, red and white roses everywhere, and photographs of your brother and his soon-to-be wife hung from the stringed lights wrapped around the tall trees to create the most beautiful ambiance.

Your quick peek of the venue ended since it was almost time for the actual ceremony. You were one of the bridesmaids, and you had to be wherever the bride was.

From afar, a tall figure walked towards the venue in a red suit. His dark hair complemented his outfit, and his handsome face was the cherry on top of it all.

Yugyeom showed up to the wedding a few minutes before it actually started. He took his time exchanging words of happiness and support to your brother. Yugyeom's relationship with your brother started out like any other brother – boyfriend relationship, but the two ended up being very close friends. A few moments before announcing the beginning of the ceremony, Yugyeom found his way to his seat. He sat close to the front, but in the corner.

The ceremony began, and every second felt longer than it should have. Closing your eyes, you took slow, but steady, steps to the podium where your brother was. You both agreed to welcome the bride with your whole family present next to him.

dirty looks from your mother

never seen you in a dress that color, no

it's a special occasion

not invited but I'm glad I made it

He looked at you like it's the first time he's ever laid eyes on you. His heart thumped like crazy, seeing how your hair fell perfectly down the length of your spine, in a red dress that exposed most of your back. Yugyeom couldn't resist every urge to kiss you. Every thought of you possibly breaking up with him completely made the poor boy pale. He was madly in love with you, in every possible way, that losing you meant losing everything to him.

The moment you stood next to your brother, your eyes met his. The eyes you hated to look into, but missed the most. Yugyeom stared at you for a long time, before you both snapped out of the trance only you two were in. You saw him mouth a "wow" before facing the bride and giving her a hug.

Walking to your designated seat, your mind went crazy just imagining how hard it would be to keep your composure when Yugyeom would literally be inches away from you.

"Beautiful," Yugyeom said in awe as you sat next to him. "You're beautiful, Y/N."

Without looking at him, you extended your gratitude. "Thank you, Yugyeom," was all you could say.

You both tried so hard to focus on the wedding. For the most part, it felt like no one else was there. You were in the moment, and so was he.

The exchange of vows was definitely something. Every word your brother and his wife exchanged was pure love. And deep down, you prayed that the love you needed was Yugyeom's.

oh, let me apologize

i'll make up, make up, make up, make up for all those times

your love, I don't wanna lose

i'm begging, begging, begging, begging, I'm begging you

As if on cue, Yugyeom held your hand without looking at you. His hand was shaky, and so was yours, but you didn't pull away. You held onto him, too. You held onto him like your life depended on it, and you held onto the person that longs for you the most.

"I do," your brother speaks into the microphone, looking at his woman. Yugyeom holds your hand even tighter, saying the same words your brother said, loud enough for you to hear it. Only you.

I do.

The bride reciprocates, and tears immediately stream down your face as the rush of emotions take over you.

Not wanting to lose the love of your life ever again, you follow suit, and said the same words the bride said. Only for you and Yugyeom, it meant something else. Only something the two of you could understand.

I do.

You both stood firmly, not letting go of each other, when the officiator finally said the words everyone wanted to hear.

You may now kiss the bride.

Not wasting a precious second, Yugyeom pulled you into a tight embrace, holding your head against his chest. His lips planted kisses at the top of your head, and suddenly everything was right in the world.

The scent of his perfume was home to you, and it made you feel so much better.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry," Yugyeom whispered, still keeping you in his arms.

"I'm sorry, too, Gyeom," you answered, trying hard not to let the tears roll down your cheek and ruin your makeup.

Yugyeom finally kissed you.

He kissed you without stealing the spotlight from the newly weds. He kissed you softly, but it was clear that he longed for it. For you. He kissed you just the way you needed to be kissed, reminding you that he is yours in full surrender.

"I love you, Gyeom."

You finally meet his gaze. The prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and he really was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

"I love you, Y/N. I love you."

Wait it out, then love again.

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magalidragon · 3 years

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Silent Shadows | Chapter 14: the journey | a teaser

"How are things with you and Arsehole?"

That was pretty not at all subtle. She rolled her eyes. "Arsehole?"

Arya shrugged. "He's been a total toolbox the last few days, I wanted your take on why." She wagged her tongue and eyebrows. "You not putting out or something?"

"Arya!"

"What? Maybe he just needs to get laid."

She rolled her eyes, her turn now to be irritated. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the exam table, wrestling with telling Arya the full truth. It wasn't like she didn't know. By now, six months after she'd gone to Essos for her surgery, things had shifted, enough so that the ones closest to her and Jon were fully aware of them.

It had gone around town rather quickly, the vet moving in with the deaf wolf owner. It took a few months, her possessions slowly migrating from the apartment above the office to Jon's house-- their house-- until one morning Jon just asked her flat out if she wanted to move in. He had been very Jon about it all.

He was brushing his teeth, while she washed her face, side-by-side sinks, very domestic, and after he spit out the toothpaste, met her gaze in the mirror and signed: "Do you live here now? If not, you should." Then he turned around and walked out.

Dany raked her fingers through her hair, letting it fall out of the messy braid she'd tugged it into that morning, in a rush to get out and to the clinic in time for her first appointment. The distance between the house and the clinic had been the only thing she didn't much care for when it came to moving in with Jon. She began to rebraid her hair, quietly speaking to Arya. "It's jus tbeen hard, the last few months."

"I know," Arya murmured.

They were referring to Ghost's attack, the terrifying moment when they thought that all would be lost. She had been more scared than any moment in her life combined, focusing on every ounce of training in her bones, healing the animal that gave her loved one his voice. Without him, Jon could not speak, and with everything else in their life, losing Ghost was not an option.

Thank the gods that had not happened, he was recovering well, still weak and slow, but healing. So was Jon, his heart having been ripped from his body at the sight of his beloved companion bleeding in the snow, and lying in the operating room while she stitched him together. They had been through too much to let it get to them, but it had been exhausting.

Six months of constant upheaval, they were still there. She figured Jon was allowed a few days to be an arsehole, even if it pissed off Arya. "I told him I didn't want to do another round yet," she mumbled, digging her toe into a groove in the tile. It was aged, desperately needing replacing, just another thing on her 'to do' list.

Coat rustling, Arya moved back from the window, and went over to stand next to her, lightly touching her hand. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"It is what it is, you know?" The surgery had been successful, Mel said, removing scar tissue and other adhesions, and so with the first round they hoped it would take, but she was prepared for the worst. It hadn't, which had been devastating for them both.

She blamed herself for getting Jon's hopes up too. He was all in, from the moment he'd appeared in that hospital hallway to the way he'd 'artfully' proposed he'd be her donor. They didn't speak much about another round, until two months later, and that hadn't worked. This time she was saving up for another go, knowing Jon could afford it but not wanting his trust fund to be depleted because her stupid body couldn't do the one thing that it should do as a female.

Arya quirked her lip. "It just isn't time. Ghost's attack, moving in together...perhaps it's for the best right now."

"Yeah, I tell myself that too." They didn't bother to prevent it, didn't stop, but she was growing weary of 'scheduling' their lovemaking to when it was most conducive to pregnancy. She chewed her bottom lip, thinking of the box that was in her bag, waiting for when she went home, just in case. She was late. Maybe this time...

She didn't want to tell Arya just yet. She didn't even want to tell Jon. Sometimes she didn't even want to tell herself. It was a constant struggle. She chewed on her bottom lip a moment and then forced a smile, when Arya gave her a furrowed frown. "I'm fine," she lied.

"Uh-huh."

Of course Arya would not believe her. She was so protective. It was a blessing and a curse. She patted her hand, reassuring. "Seriously. Things will be fine. We're also getting used to things."

"Like what? Can I help? Gendry moving in with me was the weirdest thing ever. I thought I knew all his strange habits but then..." Ayra shuddered. "Men."

Dany laughed. She shrugged and knelt down to pet Lady, needing something to do with her hands. "Oh just all kinds of things. I had to get a sleep mask for his light alarm. Learning how to approach him so I don't scare him. Sometimes the silence can be a lot. I don't watch much TV but it's odd."

"He doesn't care about that, you know."

"I know, but I do." There were also the flashing lights on the microwave, the oven, and some other assistive devices she hadn't realized were even there until she moved in. Strobe lights in place of smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Red blinking light over the door if someone was there, motion detected. There was also a vibrating device in the bed, she'd discovered, that could be hooked up to alarms to wake him, but he didn't use it.

"Freaks me out sometimes," he signed, when she asked why not. He smiled lecherously. "But we can find an alternative use for it."

Jon, always the resourceful one.

She clipped Lady's leash to her harness, standing and passing it over to Arya. "Then there's just the weird habits. You're right, men are weird."

"Jon has to be the weirdest."

"I don't know about that, but he does have some quirks." He hated laundry, waited way too long to do it, and it drove her insane. There was also the way he sometimes 'pretended' not to hear when she knew damn well he'd seen her signing, feigning surprise when she asked why he wasn't 'listening.' Usually when it was related to chores. Otherwise they had settled into a routine.

Arya walked out of the room with her, allowing Lady to lead the way to the door. "Well if you ever need a drink, let me know. Tormund misses you."

"I know, I have to stop by and see him."

"Rickon also says he wrote a song about you, he wants to send it to you, but needs your email." Arya rolled her eyes. "I shudder to think what he says in it."

Dany laughed. She liked Rickon and it seemed Rhaegar did as well. He had connections to the music industry in Essos and was looking into getting RIckon's band a few gigs. "I'll let Rhae know."

"Your hottie brother is so weird."

"Ew! He is not a hottie!"

Arya shrugged. "Sansa has a crush on him, don't tell her I told you that."

Dany pretended to gag, opening the door for Arya and Lady. She gestured for her to leave, with a flourish. "And with that, I bid you farewell. I also need to burn out my eyes, because my brother is not hot." Annoying and melancholy, yes. Hot? No way.

"Whatever. I think he's hot."

"Arya!" She made a face, sticking out her tongue. "Well, then let me tell you that your cousin is super hot and kept me up all night long last night with his..."

"Ew! Shut up!" Arya slapped her hands over her ears, closing her eyes tight. "La, la, la, la!"

She smirked. "Two can play that game."

"Goodbye bitch."

"Later." She made another face and waved, Lady hopping off excitedly towards the truck. She leaned against the door frame a moment longer, watching Arya drive away. It was nice to have someone close. Someone to joke with when things got tough. Her friendship with Arya had been a constant for her to rely on during her time in the North, even during those hard times with Jon. Missandei was so far away. Even if Dany was still trying to convince her to move there, her best friend hadn't budged, citing the cold was too much for her.

After a few minutes, she closed the door and flicked the sign, closing up for the Friday afternoon. Gilly had already left, to go deal with some sort of school drama involving her sons. Dany finished up and did some paperwork, trying to distract herself from what lay ahead at home

#jonerys #jonerys au #my fics #my moodboards #jonerys fanfic #silent shadows #coming soon #a ‘look at me’ post as someone once called these

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sukkatherapy · 3 years

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💙{SUKKA PLAYLIST}💚

So in my fandom career, one of the first stages of commitment to a ship is dedicating a music playlist to them. As you may have guessed, Sukka is no exception.

Out of all the playlists I've made, Sukka's was definitely the most fun to make, as they are just so aesthetically pleasing. 🤧

I have 11 songs total and I recommend copying the songs and insert them into a playlist on whatever music service you use.

Good Times ~All Time Low

(you can see my post for this song here)

{"I never wanna leave this sunset town, but one day the time may come. And I'll take it at your word, and carry on. I'll hate the goodbye, but I wont forget the good times."}

Reread those lyrics. I dare you to tell me that isn't the fire nation attack scene in "The Warriors of Kyoshi".

Desert Moon ~ Mena Massoud & Naomi Scott

{"'Cause it waits for you there, and if you see it too, I can find my way to you."}

So the graphics I vision for this song are sorta based around Book 3 Sukka. I headcanon that Sokka would look up to Yue for reassurance when feeling lost, such as when Suki was imprisoned and he had no idea where she was. Also, post-Book 3 when they are in their long distance relationship, I know they would miss each other like crazy. Something I see comforting them is the fact that they see the same moon.

White Horse ~ Taylor Swift

{"I was a dreamer before you went and let me down, now its too late for you and your white horse to come around."}

{"And there you are on your knees. Begging for forgiveness, begging for me."}

Now we all know Suki is our resident independent- badass- queen who doesn't need anyone to look out for her, especially a man. I thought that this song was a good parallel to when she was fed up with Sokka's sexist bs in "The Warriors of Kyoshi". Like I can imagine her having to hear this from so many people around her growing up, and to hear it from someone she showed interest in must be disappointing. Not a super happy rec, but a necessary one nonetheless.

Even When/ The Best Part ~ Olivia Rodrigo & Joshua Basset

{"The best part is knowing there's something in my dreams that always makes me smile, its you. The best part is knowing there's someone in my life that makes it all worth while, its you."}

{"Even when you and I are worlds apart, I hold you in my heart. Even when I'm a thousand miles away, I wish that I could stay with you."}

So oddly enough, I actually find enjoyment in 'High School Musical: The Musical: The Series'. But in the scene, the main couple sang this to each other when they couldn't be together for Valentine's day, and when I first heard it, my head immediately went to Sokka and Suki. Seeing that they had a long distance relationship for a decent amount of time and have many individual responsibilities, they are bound to miss some holidays and events. But even through that, they know they are the most important parts of each others lives.

Like I'm Gonna Lose You ~ Meghan Trainor & John Legend

{"So I'll kiss you longer babe, every chance that I get. I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regret. Let's take our time to say what we want, use what we got before its all gone. 'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow."}

I really love this song for them because after losing Yue, Sokka came to appreciate time, and didn't want to waste a moment with Suki. He realized that death can be sudden and real, which was why he was so protective of Suki during 'The Serpent's Pass'.

If I Can't Be With You ~ R5

{"I'd rather stay with you, if I had to choose. Baby you're the greatest, and I got everything to lose. And I just wanna be with you. And I can never get enough. Baby, give it all up I'd give it all up, if I cant be with you."}

I thought this song fit really well, and this lyric in particular reminds me of the failed escape attempt in 'The Boiling Rock Pt. 1'. Suki was willing to give up the concept of freedom if it meant staying to wait for Hakoda with Sokka.

Thinking Out Loud ~ Ed Sheeran

{"'Cause, honey, your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen. And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory. I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. And maybe it's all part of a plan. Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes, hoping that you'll understand.

That, baby, now take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud, and maybe we found love right where we are."}

Another headcanon service. I can just picture them leisurely dancing to this in the living room when they're married.

Stuck With You ~ Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber

{"So, go ahead and drive me insane. Baby, run your mouth, I still wouldn't change being stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you."}

I thought this would be a good choice because as we see in the show, Suki will humor Sokka's jokes every once in a while versus just brushing them off. I can also see her being like "Hmm, you're an idiot, but I love it. I'm keeping you."

Gotta Find You ~ Joe Jonas

{"I need to try to get to where you are. Could it be you're not that far? You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing. I need to find you, I gotta find you."}

Enough said.👏

Lift Me Up ~ The Afters

{"You know my heart is heavy, and the hurt is deep. But when I feel like giving up, you're reminding me. That we all fall down sometimes, When I hit the ground,

You lift me up when I am weak, your arms wrap around me. Your love catches me, so I'm letting go. You lift me up when I can't see, your heart's all that I need. Your love carries me, so I'm letting go."}

So I really love this song and feel that it could be used for literally any atla ship or even atla as a whole, due to the theme and aesthetic (might mess around and make an edit😏). One of my favorite things about Sukka is how supportive they are of each other, and how easily they make each other happy. They've seen each other at low points, they've been on death row, but through that they were still there cheering each other on.

Lucky ~ Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

{"They don't know how long it takes, waiting for a love like this. Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had one more kiss. I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will."}

I think this pretty much sums up their time together during 'The Serpent's Pass'. They were apart for so long-and with the war, had no reason to really believe they'd see each other again. But then by chance they were brought together again, revealed their feelings, only to have to split up again. But through that, they didn't let the distance bother them, as they stayed committed to each other.

{"Lucky we're in love in every way. Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed. Lucky to be coming home someday."}

Well, we all know they're hopelessly in love, but I feel like this highlights one of the most important aspects of them; no matter how long or far apart they are, they always come running home to each other.

Well that was defiantly a doozy😅. Thanks to those who stuck around this far!

#sukka #sokka x suki #sokka #suki #atla #avatar the last airbender

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