#is there ever?

[raevenlywrites]

Ramble incoming

I know I'm not the only one who looks back on their youth and sees the hypocrisy. But now with some distance I can see that all those "only here for an MRS degree" chickies, we were not so different you and I. On a surface level and even a motivational level yeah, we had wildly different goals. But I could not put an ounce of focus on classes my first freshman year (yes I had two) bc 100% of my attention to was on my love life.

I was just thinking today how different that year might have been if smart phones had come along just a hair sooner. I missed classes specifically bc I felt so isolated from my friends that I prioritized staying at home on the laptop and chatting with them over AIM or Yahoo if they were around. I don't know if I would have paid any attention in class if I'd had messengers I could take on the fucking bus with me (phone plans still charged by the text back then), but at least I would have been in attendance.

But like, more than that, I knew on some level I was just going to school bc that's what you did. I had no interest or motivation in my gen eds bc I didn't see any path between taking this class and making enough money to live. The economy was already starting to seriously crash.

What I could see was how important figuring who my Person was would be. Whatever else time was gonna bring, I Needed the right person or persons by my side to make it through it. Not bc marriage was also just a thing you did, but bc I'd spent way too much time alone in my own head and I knew I needed an outside force to help balance the bullshit that is me

(in fact, one of my potential Persons breaking up with me included the phrase "you don't want to be in love you just want someone to help you with the burden of being you". Like yeah, I do. I want to help you with the burden of being you too, asshole, that's part of what love is)

I never have a tidy way to close these kinds of thoughts out (who does?) but I guess if I have a point it's that sometimes Queer is a verb. I queered the normative "went to college to find a husband" narrative even though on the surface it looked the same. And not just bc I wound up in same sex marriage (in fact we didn't even get married until we'd been together for over a decade) but bc the whole process was simply not the same. I wasn't checking off boxes, I wasn't looking for someone to complete me. I was putting my effort into the one area I felt could make a difference in my quality of life and wellbeing. School was the normative backdrop to a very queer metamorphosis going on inside me. On some level I knew I was arming myself with the people who would help support me on furthering my journey.

Without the support of my polyamorous triad, I wouldn't have had the strength and foundation and support to choose something other than the path that had been laid out before me. Without my mentor in kink, I wouldn't have developed the internal fortitude to be my own master. Without the unconditional love of my wife, I wouldn't have had the courage to explore my own gender and figure out how to shift the pieces around so I wasn't so miserable in my own skin. The people in my life have been so much more important to me than whatever education I missed out on by skipping class to hang out in AIM.

Could I be wildly successful and wealthy by now by that American Dream Bootstraps story by now if I buckled down and studied hard? Maybe, but most likely not. That dream is a lie and almost no one is actually a "self made man" - they all get help from networking. Well guess what? I was doing my own networking at the time, and Im rich in things money can't fucking buy.

Still wish I didn't have all that stupid student debt tho :/

#was there a point to this? #is there ever?

[omegasmileyface]

realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"

#cartoon blood #guy whos on 2 adhd meds and an antidepressant trying to function any executive at all ever:

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao #someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h.................. #been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon #this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think #text #1k #5k #10k #15k #20k #great googly moogly #30k #40k #50k #60k #boooy what da heeel #70k #80k #90k #will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen

[transalfredpennyworth]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

#tim drake #bruce wayne #can i just tag the entire batfam.... this applies to all of them i think #all of them deal with their issues by putting on spandex and beating up criminals. none of them are exempt from this post #let them make bad stupid inconsiderate decisions... its funny entertaining and free #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #batman #dc batman #dc comics #additionally: #arthur lester #john doe #malevolent john doe #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #tim stoker #sasha james #elias bouchard #peter lukas #tma #every tma character ever actually. they all suck soso bad ❤️️❤️️ #melanie king #daisy tonner #basira hussain #georgie barker #can i tag bruce again. because like

[pedro-pascal]

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (2019)

#bill murray #zombieland: double tap #zombieland #zombieland 2 #filmedit #horroredit #zombieedit #classichorrorblog #cinematv #dailyflicks #junkfooddaily #horrorgifs #userqueen #usergiles #userlex #useranimusvox #nero-neptune #* #this is the funniest trivia i have ever read thank you reddit user tealitall

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them? #“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years. #thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me. #idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

[eurekq]

Love and light to marcille but she has the worst fucking opinions on God's good earth

#what do you mean. this is the hottest they've ever been #the other falin short hair. with the big old titties. i didnt include this one because marcille isnt commenting but holy shit.

[happyheidi]

𝖠𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖠𝗇𝗇𝖺-𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺 𝖲𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗇 | 𝖨𝖦: 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺_𝖺𝗋𝗍

#this has to be one of my favorite little comic ever cus YEEEES #I love me a good rain lighting thunder trio <3 #ESP while laying in bed with a good book #had to share #cottagecore #comics #art #cute #drawing #rain aesthetic #cozycore #cosycore #reading #comfycore #wholesome #we had MASSIVE rain here today and some lovely lightning & thunder . so this was basically my just switch night to say and bed to couch

[thinkingabout-girls]

#this is the most correct ive ever been in my life. he would say this #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #image id in alt text #meme #i might draw this at some point. we’ll see

[lastoneout]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

#hply fuck y'all I haven't felt like this?? ever??? #tryinf to be gentle with myself #but I truly feel like I'm made of glass #personal #negative #vent #cw suicide mention #ask to tag

[akajustmerry]

Anastasia 1997 is such a funny movie in that it's opening sequence is like, "the Romanovs died because rasputin put a curse on them AND NO OTHER REASON DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHY THE ROMANOVS ARE DEAD OKAY IT WAS RASPUTIN"

#I'm not dissing it it's one of the best films ever but it's anti communism is so funny #/

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

#OK. YOU'RE RIGHT. SO WHAT? DON'T EVER MENTION THIS TO ME AGAIN. IF YOU DO I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN. #i used to think about this interview all the tiiiiime i can't believe i let myself lose track of it!!!!!!! #maya angelou #FAVE #editing #*r #god i've read this a thousand times and i still laugh every time it's so GOOD #'OK. YOU'RE RIGHT. SO WHAT. DON'T EVER MENTION THIS TO ME AGAIN' #notifications are off for this besties 💗 #i will eventually turn reblogs back on but 20k notes overnight was a little too much pls slow down ✋️ #also pls do not follow me unless you are desperately in love with me. i can't make silly little personal posts with so many of you here!!!!

[theblob1958]

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

#missed out on a whole year I could have skated at my local roller rink because I didn't want to go alone #and now it's closed and I won't ever get that year back. sometimes you gotta do it alone if you want to do something

[tariah23]

White people are miserable, racist losers period. They’ve even been getting mad at Japanese people for correcting them about Yasuke as well.

#rambling #seen wp go ‘they’re mismembering their history is all-‘ #as if they’d know more than the actual Japanese people #comments on ever post about yasuke are full of racist wp arguing with Japanese ppl and telling them that yasuke was a ‘nobody slave’ #while Japanese ppl are just like ‘well anyway-‘ on their asses it’s kind of embarrassing #the guy is literally an historical figure bro #how are you mad that everyone from a country that you have such an unhealthy interest in isn’t as racist as you are??? that’s what it’s #giving #I’m sure there are lots of Japanese ppl being racist af too #since antiblackness is global and everyone has a problem with black people simply existing but #they hate us too but 😭 #it’s just #expect full blown kkk bullshit as soon as a black character pokes their head out from around the curtain #antiblackness #I see white ppl cry about yasuke every other month man #or at least once a year on Twitter

[alreadyundermygenjutsu]

Give me jelly beans you fuck head

#kitty #best ever #hall of fame

[draconicshinx]

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

#my poasts #for tagging purposes #driving carefully won't save you from ever getting into an accident #but it WILL reduce your chances