#it ends with them transing their genders and becoming lesbians

[skeletood]

Beavis and Butt-head join the "Good Scoring, uh, Asses uhuhuhuh"

#mike judge hire me #beavis and butthead #beavis #butthead #a skele fanart #van driessen suggested that they go to show support for their fellow students and perhaps gain some insight on acceptance #mkay? #it ends with them transing their genders and becoming lesbians #or something #lol #my art

[alexissara]

Trans Awareness and Remembrance

Being trans is something special, it means so many things to so many people and even people who should feel the same things the internal sense of something can still be so wildly different. Being trans is a core part of who I am, not just in that a core part of who I am is a woman but that being trans is a core part of me as well. I've often said if I was AFAB I'd probably say that my gender was just Lesbian but given the cards I was dealt with at birth being a woman and a lesbian are both important to me.

For me, coming out as trans was a long journey from when I found out about trans woman, and the reason it took so long was because of my status as a lesbain. It was the early internet, I lied about my age online so I could access age gated websites doing my best to type and behave like an adult to not get caught. I enter a fourm for trans women and gender change fetishists. Here, I learned more in detail about trans women. However, early 2000s internet trans women were 200% what we in the modern day would call truescum. You had to desire many surgeries, be utterly dysphoric, and the biggest barrier for me, you had to be straight. I fought back, and I was a passionate defender of trans lesbains on that fourm and around the net, but I did internalize it. I didn't want to be a woman, I wasn't a woman, I liked women. If I got with women, I'd not want to magically wake up as one, I'd stop fixating over ways to become a woman, at least beyond the way it had become a fetish. So I did, I dated a lot of women in my freshmen year of high school, I was always chasing after girls, especially bi women and women who wanted to dress me up like a girl. At the end of my freshman year, I would get with my current Fiancée who would explore their own gender and sexuality along with me.

I would spend several years convincing myself my desires were just a fetish even my telling my partner about my fetish came out in weepy tears as if I was coming out as trans because at that point I had to tie that to my identity, it was something that consumed a lot of my time with roleplays and what not becoming my central light in my life where I could play a woman or play someone becoming a woman. I'd eventually meet my long time long distance GFs through and through her status and a out trans woman started to push me towards finally leaving behind the pretext of fetish to explain my deep depression, my deep longing and my deep desire. After many years of concealing and doing my best to not be feeling my Fiancé and GF had a little intervention for me. They talked to me about being non binary and about my own transness and that I was probably trans and that both of them would happily accept me and that it was okay for me to be myself. I rejected it that night but the very next morning, I looked into the mirror, realized I couldn't keep up what I was doing and came out as gender fluid to them.

It would take a bit longer for me to admit what I had known since I was in middle school and first saw the world Trans Woman, when I first read Ramana 1/2, when I saw the body swap episodes of TV shows, that I wanted to be a girl, to have a woman's body, to live in community with other women and be a woman, that I was a woman and I had pushed it back for so long. I'd go to a university therapist to get formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I did get it and a letter of recommendation for a gender change and for getting on meds. I would start soon after and never look back. I spent so long doubting that once I was on the path to being a woman it was clear to me.

At that point being a lesbian seemed pretty obvious to me, it would take me a while to be set on what kind of asexual I was and before accepting I was trans I did for a few years ID as bisexual just because I knew I was some kind of queer but it was really just me trying to find a way to be in community while not being able to express my other aspects of queerness yet. I did talk about my label with my partner who was on his own gender journey but they were insistent that me being a lesbian didn't invalidate their own non binary masculinity or make them feel bad so I finally reached the point I had wanted to hit all those years ago, being a Lesbian and a trans woman.

I explain all this just to say to other people who might feel like because their sexuality or whatever else they can't be a woman, that they need to be some platonic ideal of the average cis/het white woman to be a trans woman it isn't true. You can be your true self whatever sexuality you have and whatever presentation you might want and anything else. You get to decide what being a woman means to you. It's worth being yourself even when I was in the pit of Texas, even when I lost family, I never regrated being myself, I finally wanted to be alive and I would trade any danger for the enjoyment of the living.

#trans awareness #transgender awareness week #TDOV #Trans #Transgender #Transbian #Trans Lesbian #Queer #Lesbian #Personal

[bonefall]

I wanted to ask something queer because it’s pride month but I can’t think of anything… do you have any queer bb rewrite stuff to talk about?

HERE, have a queer jumble of a bunch of the gay changes in BB;

As far back as DOTC, Thunder Storm was transmasc. His childhood best friend is also his lover; Lightning Cry.

There is a third gender in Clan Culture; Meewa. Gray Wing was Meewa and to this day, the role is associated with parenthood and wisdom.

Bumble and Turtle Heart were mates.

The Clanmew parental terms are decoupled from gender; the Mi is the primary parent, a Ba is a secondary.

For an example; Breezepelt is the Mi of his litters, Harestar and Heathertail were both Ba.

In Clanmew, Harestar had so many Ys in his warrior name (Yywayayiaoyyr) that Breezepelt got the kits to call him Yya.

Bluestar was queer. She had strange relationships with almost everything personal, but the only thing that matters is how much she LOVED her friends and how far she would go for them

The entire Forget-me-not friend group was queer in some ways.

And Bluestar’s friend Rosetail, turns out she's aromantic!

She loves romance, matchmaking, but eventually realized she doesn't like being in one. She just likes the idea a lot.

So of course Thistleclaw was PISSED when his sister claimed Queen’s Rights and adamantly refused to name a father.

She matched up her son Redtail with Runningwind, I like to think she was a very "when am i getting grandkits" kind of mom

Redtail was trans, but also gave birth to his children. That was Sandstorm and Longtail.

Redtail's transness was why Bluestar gave Dustpaw to him, she could see that Dust was working something out and hoped that Red would help

Dustpelt is genderqueer! He doesn't conform to the expectations of toms for his society; construction is largely a molly activity.

One-eye was a legendary builder in her time. It was a high honor when she came out of retirement to mentor him, when she was nearly 20 years old no less!

Cinderpelt was a lesbian, but there wasn't really anyone in the Clan she was interested in. Meh.

I do want to write a little scene where she goes to BloodClan to learn about mobility devices to help Wildfur, and has an AWOOGA moment at Cody

Leafpool and Mothwing are in love with each other, and look forward to every meeting. But they serve their Clans above all. The yearning.

I am very partial to Daisy x Squirrelflight, loooong in the future, after Squirrelflight has found fulfillment in her family and mentorships.

Conversely the untapped potential of Spiderleg x Bramblestar is unmatched. Nightmare husbands, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard of

Heartbreaking! the worst people you know have gotten gay married

Brokenstar and Runningnose were so gay I don't even have words for it, there's homosexual and then there's whatever the hell is going on over there

"My childhood best friend is a manifested curse and I would do anything for him, so I dedicated my whole life to becoming a more ruthless and brutal asset to serve his wants and desires, rejecting the stars and walking into the netherworld with glee, and only finding that it is hell because he isn't there. When you look between us, it's impossible to tell which of us was the monster, and which was the man, and yet I have never made a choice that I wouldn't make again."

Blackstar was aromantic! Russetfur was his lifelong best friend and partner, her death devastated him

He had flings and friends with benefits, though. Specifically, he's homosexual/aromantic.

Russetfur was gay too, I'm not sure if she ever had a wife though

I haven't drawn her yet but I see her as butch. Also she had large eyebrows.

Rowanclaw, honor sired for Newtspeck, was transtom

His apprentice, Talonclaw, survived the mauling because Smokefall did not die in the mountain this time around! They had a summer wedding

Irony struck when Rowan's kid Tigerheart also ended up being trans, but transmolly

Funny coincidence that everyone around Rowan ends up being queer

Tigerheart, who later becomes Heartstar, was in love with Dovewing from the moment they were apprentices on the Beaver Quest, before she even hatched

Dovewing dated Bumblestripe, even choosing him and ThunderClan over the instability of running off with Tigerheart

But when she got pregnant she SKEDADDLED

Lightleap and Shadowsight are biologically Bumble's, but Heartstar adopted them immediately

Heartstar is incredibly smug about this. "My wife. My kids. Cry about it"

Ivypool went through something similar, in a pretty bad relationship with Blossomfall and eventually getting with Fernsong

Only Fernsong is NOT smug, he's an ex-kittypet who joined during ThunderClan's Tempest and BOY HOWDY did he not want to make waves

But now he's dating the deputy's grandchild (thru Lionblaze), has an angry Blossomfall on his ass, and.... it's worth it lmao, have you seen his wife? Marvelous

He is the Mi of the children, this is the life for him

Thriftear and Plumstone are gay

Over in RiverClan, Hawkfrost and Reedwhisker were an item and were going to get serious... but then, well. Hawkfrost went through TNP and ended up dead.

In SkyClan, Violetshine, Dragonfly, and Tree are a polycule

I'm not quite sure what's going on with Echosong, Leafstar, and Billystorm. But Leaf and Billy are together, and I think Leaf has a thing with Echo. But Echo and Billy are not together, and Echo isn't involved with the kittens.

This isn't a queer thing but Sharptooth's wife Cherrytail was spayed. I think Hawkwing and co were surrogated by Echosong, but I'm not sure yet

But I do know that Cherry did not birth those kittens

Over in WindClan, I combined Jake and Sparrow into one character. Tallstar’s Collapse is reworked into Talltail traveling around with him and his group, until ultimately, he realizes it's not that easy to leave his Clan behind

I want to approach it as a tragedy, that he couldn't stay somewhere he was truly loved and happy

He was raising kids with Jake, two orphans they found. One of them followed him, even though he tried to tell him to stay with Jake and his sibling

That kid becomes Flytail, and then Flylight as an honor title

Sunstrike and Furzepelt are gay, and Furze is going to be an AVOS save thanks to Brushblaze, Breezepelt, Harestar, Heathertail, Crowfeather, and two more cats I haven't picked yet

Speaking of Brushblaze, Leo is an ex-BloodClan trader who joined WindClan to be with Onewhisker

It fell apart and he's been bitter about it ever since

Onestar is a disaaaaaaaster

He had a fling with Firestar before Fire realized he was aromantic, and it never would have worked anyway since Firestar was leading a clan

He always had an excuse for why he wasn't doing PDA with Brush, but while he was going through apprenticeship (despite being a qualified adult cat, very frustrating) Onewhisker was seeing Smoke

I kinda just want to remove Onewhisker having Whitetail as a mate entirely, I already fixed the apprenticeship thing but I kinda just like him having someone honor dam for him and he raised Heathertail alone

And lastly, Firestar

Firestar is totally aromantic.

He honor sired Sandstorm's kittens and raised them with her, because she is a deeply reliable friend and ally. They're in a QPR!

There's definitely a couple I missed (toadnettlepool, Sedgecreek x Greenflower) but that's enough for now

#HAPPY PRIDE MONTH #Queer #Better bones au

[evebsreviews]

Wandering Son - 2002

Where do i start?

Takako Shimura’s 'Wandering Son' is beautiful manga that tackles growing up as a trans kid. The story follows Shuichi Nitori as he goes through life and experiences various feeling of gender dysphoria. As someone who is somewhat transgender, this manga hit incredibly close to home, and if you are trans yourself i cannot recommend this manga more. I'll nudge you to check the manga out before reading this review, as it will have some spoilers. You can read it free on mangadex.

Now, without further adieu, let’s get into what makes this manga so good.

First, I want to compliment Takako Shimura’s artstyle. Scenes often have no background, and if they do, it’s very simplistic. This places more focus on the characters, which of course are the main driving force of manga such as this. I also love the watercolor covers for each volume; their design expands on the cozy vibe of the manga.

Speaking of the vibe, 'Wandering Son' beautifully depicts how it feels to be a young trans person. Although it may be a bit rose-tinted, it’s still outstanding for being written by a cis woman. Shuichi is often depicted pondering his gender identity at night and we see him become slowly more dysphoric as he matures.

Of course Shuichi is not the only lead. Yoshino Takatsuki takes the role of a deuteragonist early on, and is unfortunately slightly phased out of the spotlight later on. She is the transmasc to Shuichi’s transfem, but unlike Shuichi, she doesn't remain trans for the entire story. This kind of feels like a copout, because she outwardly presents masculine for years and even wishes she had a penis at one point, but I'm not going to pretend like that never happens to people. Gender identity can shift over time and it’s important to have a depction of that.

Now, despite the praise I've given this manga, it definitely has flaws.

In chapter 12, Takatsuki gets sexually assaulted by an adult, which is very out of place and sudden in a manga like this. This never gets adressed again and the character who assaulted her never has any consequences.

Shuichi’s partner, Anna, ends up very underutilized in the grand scheme of things, which is sad, as i think her character is one of the most interesting ones in the manga. Despite that, her indifference to Shuichi’s transness is what leads to one of the most impactful panels (at least to me) in the last chapter.

This panel hits you like a brick by the end. The last chapter focuses on Shuichi detailing his experience throughout the manga through his eyes. We are shown the good and bad, everything that has happened to him so far. And right at the end, we see him finally come out as transgender to Anna. Her reaction is of pure acceptance, all she asks him is “Does that mean I'll be a lesbian?” showing that no matter what, she still loves him.

'Wandering Son' has become one of my all-time favourite manga since i’ve read it and it’s a huge shame that Takako Shimura’s work is severely underrated. Regardless of it’s flaws, i think it’s one of the best manga depictions of transgender themes i’ve read. If you still haven’t read it (despite my suggestion in the opening) i genuinely think you should at least give it a try.

And with that, my first review comes to a close. Hope you liked reading it! The next one will be up at some point, i’m planning on doing one of evangelion but if you have suggestions, submit them! I'll at least try to look over any suggestions.

#review #manga #trans pride #trans rights #transgender #transfem #transmasc #transfemme #trans man #trans women #happy pride 🌈 #pride #lgbtqia #pride month #pride month 2023 #wandering son #takako shimura

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Ah, I see the problem that some people are having now. Screenshot start:

Screenshot end.

You think we are saying, they aren't actually calling us "lost brainwashed confused LITTLE GIRL victims". What we are saying is they aren't calling us "LOST BRAINWASHED CONFUSED little girl VICTIMS".

Their misgendering of us is very real. It is part of the violence against us, just like them calling trans women men is part of the violence against us. It is how they spread their rhetoric. It is part of how they enforce their oppression.

The thing is, it doesn't matter what a bigot believes except in the specific case of trying to deradicalize them, which requires specialized expertise. What matters is WHAT they say and do and it's IMPACT.

But, they also are doing it because they hate men. They're just not doing it on the other side to "protect" women, but to control people they believe to be women.

You're hung up on believing we're telling you that they're lying about believing transmascs are women. Many of them actually do. Some don't but it's a convenient front for their purposes, with the same end result. But they want to harm women. They want to control us. They want us to be perfect little breeding factories that run the household. They want men to be strong and abled, stoic, capital-producers. This is what a capitalist and colonialist white patriarchy relies on. 'Tradition' and the 'nuclear' family are cornerstones of fascism.

Trans people are a threat to every bit of this. So no, they might lie through their teeth about trans men being vulnerable little brainwashed lesbians... just like they lie through their teeth about trans women being autogynephilic predators forcing their gender fetish on everyone. But that doesn't mean they're lying about not respecting our actual gender.

You're not wrong that hating men isn't their primary motive, but it isn't false, either. Radical feminism relies on bio and gender essentialism to an extreme degree. This is why they hate transmascs that are happy and successfully transitioned and have painted us as the predators transing their "daughters".

Of course they won't treat us like cis men. We are trans. But they do treat trans women like trans men, and vice versa. Trans women aren't the only ones that have been violently ejected from bathrooms, and it's not just a matter of "misplaced" oppression. They have explicitly done this with the expressed intent of sussing out trans men, as well.

Transandrophobia and transmisogyny are in many ways VERY similar - and in no place more similar than the intertwined threads of antimasculism and misogyny at play in both, wrapped around the central core of transphobia. It's very telling, too, how this acts as if "an underclass of women they can hit" is a uniquely oppressed category, rather than being one type of oppressed gender class alongside marginalized manhood and marginalized nonbinaryhood. They are punching down at us all.

So why does transunity continue to believe the trans women involved in it saying "this is what we are experiencing" instead of the trans women speaking over them and claiming they are lying? Well, maybe because speaking over trans women, erasing their experiences, saying you know better, and putting words in our mouths is transmisogynistic even if YOU are a trans woman.

You don't have to believe the movement is in your best interests while we continue forming a coalition of class solidarity to actually fight for our rights instead of engaging in performative separatist nonsense.

And, at a certain point saying, "I disagree that it's possible to fight together long enough to not get genocided because I disagree with you on semantics and academic theory" goes beyond just being too shortsighted to recognize your own best interests and becomes an active threat to the community. Divisiveness right now is DANGEROUS. Squabble and debate all you want when death is no longer at our doors, but defy transunity in the face of it and you've shown you'd rather us all die for your pride.

-your salty neighborhood intersex transneufemmasc

#transunity

[batbeato]

What would be your thoughts on George if he was transgender? I'm curious, because a very very very large part of his upbringing was Eva attempting to outdo Krauss in, if not being the perfect heir, raising one and, usually, I think I've only seen portrayals and analysis of what that would mean for Battler and Jessica.

You have one of the best (at least in my opinion) understandings of the characters, and I read your Jessie+Yukari fic (and they were...so...cute! Also, good on Krauss and Asumu, there!), so I was wondering what you thought of this scenario.

I'm afraid I don't have a very good grasp on George's character, but he seems to have had a pretty strict upbringing in regards to his education. Being raised to become the perfect heir would also meaning confirming to the gender role of a man - even though he (she?) wouldn't truly feel that way. Or alternatively, be so deep in denial, actively wading into the closet so far back s/he ends up in Narnia.

As much as Eva loves George, I don't think she'd react well to him being transgender. Considering...everything, especially in the Ushiromiya family. This sounded more thought out in my head, but it's all kind of bleeeehh written out, sorry! I wanted to ramble more and my mind just went absolutely blank.

Thank you for your faith, ahaha. Not sure it is merited but I appreciate it <3

Honestly, I feel like George being trans would be... very difficult for their family to accept. Like, Eva loves her son a lot, and she worries a lot about forcing George to be the "perfect Head", but in the end despite her worries she still gave George a very strict upbringing and George is a lot closer to his easygoing father than he is to his very strict mother (who also wants to arrange a marriage for him). He doesn't even clearly express that he isn't interested in an arranged marriage to Eva. He just plans to spring his engagement with Shannon on her and everyone else in the family. A big public show of things, probably to make sure Eva has less of a chance to force him to change his mind or marry someone else. It's... not really the actions of a person who trusts his family to be normal about him disobeying expectations.

If George was trans I can imagine them repressing it, because they were raised with a lot of stuff about gender roles and misogyny and just. Yeah. I can imagine their relationship with Shannon being a sort of "look, I can be Normal, I am definitely a Man who loves Women" (is actually a trans lesbian using attraction to women to deny transness). Would add an extra layer of "fucked up" to the whole thing where the jealousy of Battler is more about Battler being a man (something they're supposed to be but aren't deep down) and being jealous of Jessica is about Jessica being an open tomboy not conforming to gender norms or expectations of being a proper lady (ignoring or just being ignorant of the fact that Natsuhi punishes her for it, or just that Jessica can keep being a tomboy in spite of Natsuhi's disapproval/punishment).

I just feel like George... wouldn't be open about it. At all. Not even to Shannon. Another tragedy of Rokkenjima where if only people had opened up they'd have found they weren't alone in the terrible misogynistic patriarchal society they feel so trapped and lonely in. And it would probably fuel George attempting to fit into the masculine, patriarchal expectations where they're supposed to take this leading role of a provider/leader and treat women a certain (terrible) way and they're trying very hard to fit those expectations to the point where they're blind to how it hurts Sayo even as they try to improve and self-reflect because it's ultimately a defense mechanism to hide their transness and perceived 'otherness'. Lots of internalized transphobia there.

#umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #umineko spoilers #ushiromiya george: victim of toxic masculinity #in any universe george is suffering from perpetuating cycles of bigotry that george must try very hard to escape #ushiromiya eva is 0 for 2 on raising healthy young adults #ange and george passing the blunt around trying not to cry #woman who is so so loving and so good at passing on trauma

[lacependragon]

God, sometimes I have really complex feelings about my love of Symphogear.

Like, Symphogear is without a doubt one of the best shonen anime I have ever seen. It's wonderfully built, takes itself completely seriously in the best way possible, and actually asks a lot of questions that I feel are often overlooked in magical girl anime.

It has one of the greatest endings I have EVER seen (and yes I AM including FMA:B).

Not to mention, the cast of main characters is all girls and swells up to six of them - one of them an adult! - after the first few seasons. They all have distinct personalities, and arcs, and emotions, and backstories, and the way each one interacts separately, and the fact that so much of the show is driven by their motivations, is just brilliant.

But god I have to put so many disclaimers on this show.

The costumes: the camera sexualizes the fuck out of those Symphogear costumes. The costumes themselves, and the transformations at times, aren't terribly appropriate. I'm not trying to deny that, or argue it.

The only thing I will say in its favour: no one in show who we're supposed to like ever sexualizes the girls. No one makes comments, or stares, or anything.

The (first season only) assault: The first season features two on screen assaults! One is small - an ear bite - and the other is not. At all! Both are between a fully grown woman and a teenage girl. I do not like EITHER of these scenes. To me, they are the worst part of the show. What frustrates me even more is how unnecessary they are. And how much they exist just to push the "predatory old lesbian" trope.

Thankfully it seems the creators agreed, because that never happens again after season one. And all adult female characters after that are much, much better.

Well. Okay. There's a weird creepy relationship between an adult man and what looks like a younger teen girl in season five, but she's literally a freaking puppet, and they're literally the bad guys, so I think we have better things to argue about.

The boobs: Chris in particular is awful for this. Her chest is massive and the show puts a lot of focus on how "cute" she is, which means a lot of close-ups around her face and *ahem* assets. This is creepy! Not arguing this.

The characters in show aren't weird about it though? And she's not reduced to them either. Chris isn't "the boob character". She's actually a deeply fascinating young woman with abandonment issues, a drive to protect others no matter the cost, and a fear of opening up and being vulnerable. No one really ever brings up her boobs. They're just... there. And animated exactly how you think they are. But like, just there.

I love Symphogear. I love it so much. I want to emphasize how deep these characters are, how incredible their arcs are, how the show actively has five season long character development arcs for the main three. How the entire show hinges on proving there is no greater power than love and song and holding hands.

Hibiki's entire fucking arc is LEARNING HOW TO BE SELFISH after becoming the most self-sacrificing person you will ever meet. Tsubasa learns what it means to be a hero with or without her family's name behind her. Chris learns how to create a new family of her own choosing.

It's queer. It is EXPLICITLY queer and not in just the weird shonen way they sometimes do with girls. Shirabe and Kirika are explictly in love and dating. Hibiki and Miku explictly have feelings for one another. The love one girl has for another (romantic and platonic) is the key to saving the world. Two. Two separate relationships between two sapphic women.

Then we get into coding. Because holy shit - both Maria and Tsubasa have some fantastic gender things going on that work so well into transness. I doubt that was the intention, but it's fantastic nonetheless.

Tsubasa's entire story with her family is so steeped in gender, gender roles, expectations, and the like, but not in the way you'd expect from a traditional family in this sort of story. She wants to step out into the world as feminine, as a singer, while her father wants her to only be a weapon, which he sees as masculine (though actually Tsubasa spends most of season one on her father's side, due to events in the first episode, but the majority of the series, this is her conflict). The use of singing in fighting in Symphogear is often stated, by traditional men, to be a weakness, a silly joke, and ineffective, despite evidence to the contrary.

And Maria is a sister who stepped into the role of her fallen sister, someone she saw as much more beautiful, and pure, and worthy than her. So much of Maria's arc in her initial season is learning how to be her own person, how to find out who she wants to be, and that carries forward. Maria's struggle to find her own identity in a world that seeks to strip her of one was extremely familiar to me. I love that.

Look I know that Symphogear has its problems, okay? I know. I know. It's got too much male gaze and it's a little too weird with its underage characters sometimes and you can literally see Shirabe and Kirika's butt cracks in their first costumes. But I'm telling you that the story beneath those problems is fucking amazing. I'm not excusing them! All I'm saying is that they weren't enough to stop me from enjoying the story.

I just wish it was easier to recommend.

#lace speaks

[lttleghost]

thank you for everything you do for transfem jesse it means so much to me

it's all my pleasure really!! I love talking about transfem Jesse, there's so much to it as an analysis, and it's nice to have his transness being an active part of his character arc and Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender in general, and it's so like... happy for him as well cause god the idea of "manhood" has been a significant factor in the trauma he's experienced and the times we've seen him at his happiest is with women

here's some additional thoughts/headcanons I haven't posted about I don't think, all MOSTLY specfic to my particular personal headcanon for Jesse but I wanna share:

I think Jesse already having a look thats pretty similar to some other butch lesbians would be a pretty big confidence boost, I think he'd have some insecurity about being no-med no-op along with using he/him pronouns a lot of the time, and especially since the whole "gender is a social construct" thing is new to him he'd have that sort concern on wether or not he's "allowed" to be trans, so knowing about the existence of or even meeting other gnc feminine identifying people would be really helpful, especially other gnc transfem people. I ALSO think knowing that there are even cis women or at least afab fem-aligned people that go on testosterone could also really help solidify that it's okay for him to be trans without medically transitioning, because if there are women who are willing to invest in medical transition to be more like him then he has even more confirmation that it's fine to stay the way he is

oh and then speaking of being butch I do think Jesse still prefers mostly feminine terms which I just mention since at least some butches will use things like "boyfriend" for themselves but I think Jesse would still use "girlfriend" and pretty much all feminine terms, the only masculine term I think he still likes is "gentleman"... I have no explanation as to why I think he's still okay w/ that one that I know how to articulate

I think for at least a pretty long while very feminine clothes like dresses and skirts are something he doesn't typically go out in public wearing, but he does often wear them at home around whoever is lucky enough to end up as his partner (I totally don't picture myself in that role what are you talking about hahahaaaaaaaa)

I believe his lovely long eyelashes give him a lot of gender euphoria, and that mascara becomes the makeup that he most consistently wears since it makes them more visible from different angles

LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH LOOK AT THOSE LASHES

I'm really honestly sad this analysis isn't super popular. while people do have a right to project and have Jesse as their own gender goals, for those who aren't projecting the fandoms preference for transmasc Jesse relying much more on looks without delving much deeper into her character and how BrBa deals w/ gender and considering other ways of her being trans is... frustrating. AND MUCH WORSE is things like when those same people who often claim Jesse is "obviously transmasc" b/c of how she looks also do observe her connections w/ women and reason that it's specfically evidence Jesse is afab and transmasc which... yay! (hopefully mostly accidental) bioessentialism! and even ppl who project should still be aware of the unpleasant connotations of interpreting Jesse's connection to women as ONLY evidence that she's transmasc

I don't think most people are being malicious, and I definitely don't think the transmasc Jesse headcanon should dissappear, but there is something to discuss about the difference in attention and treatment transfem vs transmasc Jesse gets (espec b/c if we're being truly honest egg Jesse is really the only trans interpretation of Jesse that could actually be canon, tho that does still technically cover A LOT of possible specfic identities, it just does exclude transmasc)

#asks #breaking bad #this is my girlfriend don't touch him #i could also do without people seeing me use she/her pronouns or feminine terms for Jesse and being like #'don't misgender him' #cause like transfem Jesse being so invisible that some ppl dont notice when its being specfically suggested #and using she/her or feminine terms is assumed to be a joke #not great! #also b/c there ARE some ppl who seem to be specfically against transfem Jesse b/c... #in there eyes being transfem is lesser than being transmasc? or transfem ppl are out to get us? #like theres even ppl who are fine with Jesse being a woman on t but apparently a no-med no-op transfem person #is bad in their eyes #again i dont think most people are like that but i think the fandom could and should do more for transfem Jesse

[fox-steward]

I’m just grasping at anything that might help at this point but please I am desperate. I don’t want to end up some ugly scum halfman tran. The dysphoria is killing me but I don’t wanna be trans in any way shape or form. I literally can’t stand being a woman without literal daily breakdowns but what’s the fuxkin point if I’m not a real man and never will be one. Please just help me get the trans out I hate this I don’t want to be a mentally ill freak to my friends and family I want to be normal

your desperation really comes through in this ask, i’m so sorry to see how deeply you’re hurting.

i suspect there’s a lot of negative self talk in your life right now. there’s no need to create a false dichotomy between “ugly scum halfman tran” and whatever negative attachments you hold with being a woman. this is a false choice and you’re doing yourself no favors thinking like this. it creates a situation where you either suffer being whatever characture you have of women or you resign to the inevitability of transition, which you also hold a lot of negativity about.

my best advice is, first and foremost, stop speaking to yourself this way. don’t call yourself a freak or scum, don’t call people like you halfman scum (people like you meaning females with dysphoria).

next, seek therapy. i don’t mean this disparagingly, i sincerely believe you need the help of a professional to navigate the waters right now.

here are some truths about your situation:

1) you’re female. transition or not, you will always be female and never be male. transition or not, you’re going to need to deal with whatever misogyny you harbor that makes you unable to stand being a woman, because you will never be male. you’ll either hate yourself for existing as a woman or you’ll hate yourself for never being male enough, and you’ll resent males because you can’t be one, and you’ll resent women who have made peace with their existence as females. that’s a shitty way to live. again, seek therapy, seek help.

2) this doesn’t make you a freak. you’re human and you exist in a fucked up, misogynistic society. you’re someone who is suffering and needs help, but you’re not a freak. mental illness does not make you a freak.

3) you can’t “get the trans out;” there is no entity within you that is trans, like some kind of possession, like some kind of soul-poltergeist. transness is an ideology—you either believe yourself to be another gender (making you trans) or you don’t (meaning you’re not. if something requires you to believe in it to be “real,” it’s a faith, a lot like religion is a faith. you can only stop believing you’re inherently, intrinsically another gender, like losing faith in a religion. personally, this is what i’d advise. faith-based ideologies don’t interest me, and a faith-based ideology that encourages you to change your body with surgery and/or meds, spend money, drastically alter your social place in the world—that’s destructive. it asks you to chase an ideal that is inherently out of reach (becoming male), but if you can’t reach it or find happiness in doing so (you never actually change sex), it’s your fault (sounds like a religion, no?).

4) you need help (professional and interpersonal). if there are people in your life you can turn to, lean on them. none of us is an island, none of us gets through life alone. if you have support, lean. seek out therapists. seek out female role models, talk to women, find women who are like you and talk to them. there is so much joy and healing in connecting with other women. for me, connecting with butch women and other lesbians is an oasis in the desert.

you’re okay as you are, you just need a little help. you don’t have to make a decision right now. any decision you make you can alter at any point in the future.

#detrans #detransition #detransitioning #asked #answered #anon #transgender #gender critical #radfem #radical feminism

[werevulvi]

I hope these show up in the right order. This kinda stuff is exactly what makes me feel lost about my transness. Like I was just trying to be nice and agreed with this person's post. I had no interest in being an asshole or arguing what bio sex, or even what butch, is. I was just declaring myself as a bio female because it felt relevant to the topic and how I relate to it. It amazes me how even the pro self-ID types are against self-ID when someone identifies in a way that doesn't suit their narrative, even when it's a trans person whose identity they deny.

They blocked me and I don't want anyone going after them, I just wanna rant. And not even about this specific post or person, but more so about trying to exist as a gender critical trans person in general. I've been thinking about that for days, weeks, perhaps months or even years already, so it's really not about this specific person. I guess it was just what triggered me to finally start writing.

I guess I feel like both most other trans people and most other gender critical people, view transness as incompatible with gender critical opinions, and like that makes me feel pulled in two opposing directions. But anyone of any ideology can be dysphoric and transition because it helps them cope. I don't think that my opinions, or my choice to hang out with radfems, means that I'm self-hating, or even that I'm going against the needs of my own trans demographic. My own trans demographic is just all too good at confusing wants with needs... generally speaking. I see sex and gender the way I do because it makes sense to me personally, and I don't even argue that it's necessarily the objective truth. I don't think there is such a thing. It's just my truth, my perception of the world.

That I can't make myself see myself as a man for real, despite my dysphoria and transition, doesn't mean that I think it's wrong to transition, or that my body is damaged by it, or that transitioning is useless. Because it's not. I love my transition and everything it has given me. I'm comfortable with my transitioned body. It deserves love, especially my love. And although I still struggle with some insecurities, I feel like I love my body. It's been... incredibly good to me. It's stayed very healthy, and even keeping up a strong immune system despite my smoking, self harm, careless sexual escapades, etc. I may still have a fraught relationship with being female, but as long as I transition, I seem to be managing it fairly well. Except then I have a more fraught relationship with society instead. Can't win, but that's life, innit?

I don't think either my transness or my political opinions are my real problem or ever was. I think it's society's constant fighting about trans people's genders, lives and choices, that makes me constantly cave in on myself. Can't handle the pressure.

It feels like it's only ever getting worse. Ten years ago my biggest concern was people not ever finding me attractive because I was turning myself into some kind of a freak, which luckily I was proven to be wrong about. Five years ago my biggest concern was nonbinary people trying to normalize asking people their pronouns, which made me fear that people would never leave me alone about my gender, unless I forced myself to be hyper-masculine, which I still worry about. Three years ago my biggest concern was having been stripped of my sex-based rights and dehumanized for how I had chosen to treat my dysphoria, which I still worry about as well, and now...

...my biggest concerns are being treated as a third gender, fetishistic predator who should be shoved away into gender neutral spaces, and I fear that one day medical transition will be taken away as an option to treat dysphoria if transness is continued to be rejected as a medical condition. My heart rate is ever increasing. Can I even realistically "just go on with my life" anymore? I feel compelled to do something, but I also feel like there isn't anything I can do. No matter how many people I try to "educate" about dysphoria and why transition is incredibly important, all the while being as humble as I can, I am seriously lacking behind the much faster spread of harmful misinformation.

Thing is, I do not blame gender critical people for spreading some of that misinformation. For example of trans women as fetishistic predators, which people apply to trans men when they still fail to understand that MtF is not the only kinda trans there is, or when we dare to be just a little bit feminine while passing as male. If anything, I blame the true sources of such harmful claims, which slowly increase my anxious heart rate, over years, turning into decades, of living as openly trans. I blame opportunistic men who pretend to be trans women for gaining access to women's spaces, be it prisons, spas, shelters, sports, what have you, when they cannot possibly be dysphoric judging by how happily they swing their dicks around women as if it's no big deal and make no attempt at transitioning, but also who cares if they are dysphoric, no one should behave that way either way. I blame the trans rights activists who say lesbians have to suck dick if it's attached to a trans woman, and those who say that gay men have to be into pussy and date trans men. I blame those who say that trans women are bio female by virtue of identifying as female, and claiming that they can get periods, by virtue of... bowel cramps?! I'd also blame those who try to change female specific language on behalf of shielding trans men from our own dysphoria, in the rare cases we'd end up getting pregnant or manage to drag our asses to the gyno office for a pap smear, which... most of us really don't, regardless of if you call us women or uterus-havers, sincerely, please stop. It makes people think trans women are trying to take over the term "woman" entirely for themselves, which of course they don't.

I could go on, but I won't, as this post is not about these things. It's more so about how estranged I feel from the people who spout these things, knowing that they think they're speaking for me and my supposed needs as a tranny. But I see no point in trying to educate them, as they won't listen any more to me than they would to a radfem, and again, I think this post in my screenshots shows just how unwilling they are to listen to me.

I guess living with my transition on constant display is what's hard, and I guess I just need to vent about that, as it's always judged one way or the other; as either me having made myself into a man, or that I'm a delusional woman who mutilated herself; and it's kinda hard to find a kind and sane middle ground, that perhaps I'm just a victim of circumstances, and trying to make the most of my own life, regardless of what the fuck I am. That social shit, on top of dealing with dysphoria, makes it really difficult to not hate myself, I guess. But I have tried to live stealth and that made it if possible even worse, as it felt like I was lying, keeping a huge secret that grew in me like a spreading virus.

What I want is to just live my life, and for neither my bio sex, nor my transition, to stop me from doing that. I want to work through the worst of my autism, enough to be able to pursue a career in some low-paying labor, blue-collar job; get a car and driver's licence, find a suitable husband to have a child and cats with; I want my own garden, an art studio; I want to build muscle to become strong and even more independent (and perhaps strong enough to carry that husband, but at least to carry myself), and so on. When I picture myself in that potential future, it is with this male-like appearance I transitioned my body into, but it is also as a mother and wife.

And thinking about all of that makes me happy, it makes me smile and feel joy, meaningfulness, hope... While thinking about arguing online with some miserable fuck, who's deadset on arguing semantics and calling me a terf, when all I wanted was to show a little bit of kindness, that "hey, I agree with you, you make a good point here, and I'm not here to fight" only to be spat right back into my face... just makes me feel sad. Whatever happened to diversity of opinion? It's gone, it became labeled as bad, and left people like me with no place to be.

There is no point in arguing with such people, or even trying not to argue. There's no winning in that, there's no reward, no accomplishment. It's better to walk away.

I know I just have to get over this, this inner conflict of going against my transness with my gender critical opinions, and that I'm going against my womanhood with my transition - and be stronger than the political climate that's pulling me into pieces. But if it's peace that I want... I can just forget about it. There's no road there. But I have trouble letting go of that simple dream. The internet is constantly manipulating me into thinking I have an exciting social life, when in fact it's non-existent, and the lie is destructive. With internet vs real life, I'm living a double life. One of those lives has a future, the other one does not.

I'm glad I made this rant. It actually made me feel better, and reminded me that it's still worth it. Being trans, moving forward, focusing on what is good and what can become good in life. And it reminded me that the internet is merely an imitation of life, a substitute for human connection, and can... as with much else, be both good and bad.

#discourse #venting #tired of being pulled in opposing directions #because im not the right kinda trans #or the right kinda feminist #i have to live with myself and i dont know how #focusing back on what actually matters in life #just thoughts #gender politics #ok to rb

[sorin-sunchild]

I once read a book that despite it’s flaws, almost wrote a good non-binary character. Almost. I won’t say which book because I’m not a snitch but I was so hopeful for this writer and the character until the writer fell into the trap of ‘well I have to tell them what my character was assigned at birth’. 

That took all the effort that went into telling us, the reader, that the character was non-binary and that was the end of it (including a scene where they tell off another character for trying to ask their birth sex) and smashed it to pieces in one grand notion of BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, THEY WERE BORN AS A GIRL. Now, I kind of saw this coming because the writer seemed to be having a hard time writing about non-cisness without explaining it in chunks of exposition and seemed to want to make the main pairing a lesbian one, but not because one of them is non-binary, but up until then effort had at least been put in to take the character seriously as simply non-binary and that’s that. The whole reason I’m writing this is because the above scenario happens a lot, especially by cis writers and it bothers me to no end that there aren’t many characters who are ‘just trans’ and who cares what their birth sex is? It’s important to understand that we do need more characters who are trans or non-binary, but you don’t need to have some huge birth sex reveal just to show they are trans. You could try instead having the character be open about being trans, or making casual references to trans specific things either to do with passing, or surgery or experiences (ask trans people for advice!). You should avoid having another character be ‘snooping’ on them changing and finding out they’re trans, or have it revealed only when they are about to have sex (also a reminder that there are trans people who have had lower surgery so don’t have their birth genitalia any more anyway and it’d be nice to see more of them written) because it makes out that our transness is some kind of lie that must be revealed to others.

The best way to write a trans character is to just...have them be trans. If you always use ‘they/them’ for a character including in others speech, it gets across the point that they are non-binary, you don’t need to say if they’re afab/amab because you want your reader/listener to simply accept that the character is non-binary. You need to let go of the birth sex being ‘important’ to the character, because 9/10 it’s really not. If you write a ftm or mtf character and the story isn’t about their gender journey explicitly, there’s almost no reason for it to become a huge issue or plot device. We need to get the point across that ‘some people are just trans’ and it’s natural and just is and to do so, we need to write it as casual and just a fact of that person’s existence. A trans woman is just a woman who is trans. A trans man is just a man who is trans. A non-binary person is just a person, who is non-binary.  I’m not saying you’re bad for writing angsty trans stories, especially if you’re trans yourself, but if you’re cis I’d stay away from that kind of story unless you really study up on it. It’s also good to remind yourself that a trans character doesn’t have to a sad character, doesn’t have to not pass and if you have other character talk or think about how it is/was ‘obvious’ the character is trans they’re gonna kinda sound like a dick.  Of course, I’d just one person, but if you want at least one trans opinion on something you’re writing I’d be happy to give it. All in all, keep writing and keep practising ^^

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #trans characters #nonbinary characters #writing #writing advice

[3000s]

ig i just dont understand ur post bc like if a “cis” woman wants to transition to look more masculine and has dysphoria about being a woman and wants to become more like a traditional man isnt that just being a trans dude? and like if cis women start transitioning while still calling themselves women wouldnt they be misgendering themselves? also wouldnt us calling them women after transitioning just give more excuses to transphobes to misgender trans men?

the thing about that is like, if they dont identify as trans men then they're not trans men! the reason these labels exist isnt to categorize people based on how we see their experience, its for people to have the language to describe themselves!

i think a lot of yall get stuck on the idea of dysphoria being something that makes someone transgender, but thats not something i believe, so thats a large part of why an argument based in transmedicalism would fall flat on this subject... people have the right to self-identify, just like how there are trans people who dont medically transition, there are also cis people who do, and you cant force them to identify as transgender if thats not how they feel!

its def important that ppl within our community learn that as trans ppl we arent the only ppl who can have a complicated relationship with gender. i've mentioned it a couple times before, but there are a lot of factors at play with regard to someones gender + presentation + dysphoria + decision to medically transition! race, sexuality, and things of that nature can play a part in the way someone experiences these things... for ref, this post puts it well; even a cishet person of color can have a more complex relationship with gender than a white lgbt person, and some further explanation on that in a post here as well! like, for example, historically (yes, even within lgbt spaces and relationships) black women have been and continue to be treated as though they are more masculine than white women because of their race, and although that isnt exactly what you asked, thats why i say that peoples experiences in a gendered society vary, that can cause someone to have a different relationship with gender, something you or i may not be able to relate to

and really anyone can feel alienated from belonging to their assigned gender with those factors at play to influence it, and that doesnt always cause them to feel like they belong to another gender either. there are many lesbians who feel that their only ties to womanhood are through their sexuality and love of other women, its not uncommon for them to use pronouns other than she/her, or to go on testosterone, or to get top surgery, but at the end of the day they can still tell you explicitly that they do not identify as trans men, and it wouldnt make sense for someone to assign them that label.

you didnt mention it here, but to get it outta the way: the last thing i've seen argued is that women are using up & taking spots in line for life-saving resources that transmeds believe trans men should be entitled to... honestly i think its kind of batshit how the ppl saying this don't realize how stupid they sound by advocating for the medicalization of transness, having to jump through all these hoops for these treatments, then somehow placing the blame on other people looking for treatment. like, if you were a cancer patient needing chemo you wouldn't go around blaming other cancer patients as the reason you arent getting treatment, right? it makes no sense, and we should be talking about the issues with the way access to hrt and affirming surgeries are set up rather than prying into the personal lives of others to see who "really" needs it the most, yknow

anyway this got long as hell, my bad, dm me if u have anymore questions or w/e

#asks

[yovelknell]

Changing Labels: Dealing with Internalized Homophobia, Transphobia, Misogyny, and More

This is a resource I am making to help others see how one person can move through different labels as they interact with the online sexuality and gender community and their own identity. It’s also so I can have my own record of my experiences, but hopefully it’s helpful for others too!

As a kid, I identified as a tomboy because I hated wearing skirts and dresses. I felt separate from girls for reasons that would become clear later (including some not relevant stuff like ADHD and trauma).

After being on tumblr for two years, I came across a user who was nonbinary. I fell into hours of research around the term and others like asexual, aromantic, and alterous. I became very excited at having words to describe myself.

At that time, I knew only a few things about myself: I could not relate to gender at all, girls were important to me, and I would never date a guy. When I tried to imagine loving a boy, it felt alien and uncomfortable. I was very sure of my identity, that I was agender aroace and nomalterous (no man attracted in a no romantic, no sexual way).

Over time, I realized that liking girls was gay. I realigned as asexual agender biromantic. Venturing further through internalized misogyny and homophobia, I realized that I was only 14 when I identified as aroace, and I personally had not grown socially enough to fully understand my identity.

I prodded the idea of being a trans man and was very troubled by the thought. Being a man would be approaching manhood in general, something that filled me with revulsion. I strongly clung to my agender bisexuality. And I thought I was done.

Then before my senior year, I realized I could like nonbinary people and still be a lesbian. And that I had never knowingly met a nonbinary person or been attracted to them. Further, I read up on a lot of lesbian theory and history, especially butch ones, and felt a kinship. I could be a woman solely because I liked other women. I realigned again as a cis butch lesbian.

I felt at the time that I could be identifying as nonbinary just to escape dealing with transphobic ideals I had learned. Plus, since I related to women in a way I knew was gay, I must be a cis woman. Eventually, this stance softened and I became a nonbinary butch lesbian. But I held onto womanhood.

I went to college and spent two years in lesbian bliss. Never with anyone, but I went to therapy and grew more into myself. I still hated men.

Then, I delved in transmasculinity. I watched gnc trans men and nonbinary people on tiktok. I came across and then embraced this redefining of masculinity as something healthier and not necessarily tied to manhood or womanhood. For a day or two, I worried if I was a man.

Instead, I settled back into being nonbinary. Not as a void, like last time, but instead as a distinct, strong sense of self. I grieved over and let go of my lesbian identity, something so important to my self for so long. I realized, after fully moving outside of womanhood, that I could like men, perhaps. I had a type, but I did like them. Liking men was not a trap or a curse or something I couldn’t help but refuse as a woman. I returned to my nonbinary bisexuality, with a few microlabels to make me feel at home. I embraced t4t and being diamoric — loving other trans and nonbinary people because they understand you in ways other cis people could never.

I leave this journey with a better understanding and appreciation for myself and for others. I would have loved to skip out on the troubled and missed years of adolescence. But, my years as a lesbian taught me more about appreciating feminism, transness, and gnc womanhood than I could have gotten elsewhere. I am glad that I have learned some of the same from transmasculinity as well 💖

I want to be clear that my transition through different identities is not a condemnation of them. If your journey looked similar to mine, but you stayed asexual, aromantic, agender, lesbian, or butch nonbinary, that is o.k.

We identify and exist in different ways for a variety of reasons. Ace/aro spectrum ended up being a pit stop for me, not the destination. I identified that way because I was traumatized, gay, trans, young, and socially behind my peers in ways that negatively affected my attraction spectrum. But, not everyone changes in the ways I did or need to.

#lgbt #my post

[queernuck]

Who Is Mayor Pete?

an interesting phenomena surrounding that post that criticizes the supposed homophobia of backlash to Mayor Pete on grounds of how difficult it is to read him as gay, how much he comes across specifically as an assimilationist, as an example of what exactly many of us hate seeing in that community, is that there is a certain way that it resonated with TERFs which I think is important to consider. it taps into a great deal of rhetoric around the way that transmisogynist violence is enacted, how the creation of hostility in communities to ideas of queerness, faggy-ness, how the sanitization and creation of a fetishized notion of butch/femme culture has been a project of so many TERFs unfortunately, the way all of these converge into the yearning for the exact image that Mayor Pete fits: one of an incredibly assimilated, boring figure which refuses typical libidinal flows, who almost reads with a kind of sexlessness that dovetails quite nicely into the sort of policy goals that he most typically holds.

while discussing him as a Republican is perhaps not quite accurate, the way in which he is reminiscent of a recent letter to the editor where a gay man talked about how the transition from Obama to Trump impacted him little but a transition to Sanders (he fears) would ruin him due to his career as an investment banker, Buttigieg typefies this idea, the archetype of the successful gay man who has rejected all of these signifiers of gayness, who has divided himself cleanly from any kind of notion of “queerness”, of faggish tendencies, who almost more closely resembles an embodiment of the sterility and structural prescriptivism that “homosexual” would imply. He is not violating any sort of taboo except insofar as his violation thereof affirms the mirrored process: in becoming-gay, Mayor Pete does such in a way that affirms the mirroring of that process in the dominant subject, is part of a series of desiring-machines through which the libidinal flows of numerous Democrat voters may be actualized. For many, the idea of Mayor Pete as Their Gay Son is a kind of fantasy, a point in the questioning of why their own children cannot manage to just be “normal”, cannot have jobs in finance or join Naval Intelligence or become mayor of South Bend.

There are many men that outwardly appear like Mayor Pete out there, and I can hardly blame them. However, just as Mayor Pete is not Pete Buttigieg, is rather a kind of second-order simulacra intended to relate to other candidates and to voters in a certain fashion, they resemble him only in that they have these rather carefully constructed personae which they use in order to gain the advantages that apparent assimilation brings with it. In their real lives they may be fathers and husbands and have relatively normal, “basic” tastes but at the very least, if they are sexually active even with only a single partner, they violate at least some kind of taboo and become an unsuitable subject. The hate the sin love the sinner ideology is very much prevalent in ideas of even a married gay couple, where the idea of two men being married to one another and having a happy, fulfilling sexual relationship is itself revolting. 

When one throws in various different scenes and communities such as PNP/Chemsex, leather, even simply going out to the wrong sorts of parties or gay bars, and what is seen as a kind of salacious and enticing possibility for heterosexuality is now a condemnation, is too much for being a violation of far too many taboos at once. That some gay men have open marriages is an indication of degeneracy. This is true, as well, for many trans women: simply enjoying sex, having sexual partners, is seen as a sort of unsuitable deviance, as part of an inherently sexual identity and moreover the reduction of trans women to fetishes, the notion that we cannot exist at all except while evoking kink, that us, gay men, lesbians, bisexuals are all constantly evoking sexuality through mere existence even when heterosexual identities are allowed to imply or mimic our own while being outwardly validated, being understood as separated from these behaviors.

A comment that particularly sticks with me from this cursory (but rather unsurprising) investigation of transmisogynists getting angry about the idea that Pete isn’t Queer Enough is an insistence that one does not want to share community with “the BTQ, you are freaky and not in a good way” as one person put it. Going beyond the usual “drop the T” rhetoric, the concentration on just lesbian and gay identities is a kind of reactionary turn toward using taxonomy and ideological fetishism to create notions of what our community should be rather than looking at who it has been, who we have found solidarity with, and moreover why this solidarity is so important. The way in which Mayor Pete most openly seems a figure of heteronormativity is not in being happily married, especially given that so many happy marriages and engagements I know of consist of two people who would be marked deviant just by their identification. It lies, rather, in the same kind of turn of separation and separatism that so many transmisogynists generally and TERFs more specifically accept as part of their ideological positioning, are eager to use as part of maneuvering into a position of accomplishing the most important parts of their ideology. 

The reactionary red-brown alliances one sees TERFs willing to make (that is, if they were even really all that red to start with) are hardly accidental, and do little to advance the causes they supposedly stand for except through empty signification of a progressive simulacra of the reactionary ideology they support. The aforementioned discussion of a sort of fetishization of butch/femme identity is the means by which reference to an imagined past, one which includes these roles and imagines lesbian bars, spaces, identities is so often cleansed of any meaningful history, any connection to radical politics beyond being left-wing by the liberal standards of the current Democratic party, any kind of actual look at how and why communities of LGBT commonality were formed and realized and lived and continued and developed to this day, is used as a means of recapture for transmasc identity in order to affirm the biological determinism that their ideology necessitates. This turn is used to insist on trans men as something lesser, something denatured and not to be understood as a “man” while trans women are absolutely, ontologically men in a sense that can never be changed, that persists as the kind of marker which ignores any experience of transness in order to instead whip up a false frenzy of ideological maneuvering against vulnerable women. The conservatism of clinging to particularities of past expressions of “butch” and “femme” rather than looking at how they deride current and contemporary communities which contain plenty of butches and femmes, which contain other expressions of gendered performativity, which navigate the tensions of the sexed body through these performative creations of identification and shared space within, and most of all how many of these spaces are ones where liberation is seen as shared, as including justice on grounds of fighting antiblackness, supporting antiracism, intensely personal accounts of anti-antisemitism and anti-Islamophobia and anti-Xenophobia action, a paradigmatic antifascism, opposition to colonialism, a philosophy of anticapitalism, how vital the turn against assimilation therefore is, that the idea of assimilation as a whole involves abandonment of these ideals and instead an acceptance of the very structures that Mayor Pete most ardently advocates for, is what makes him so frustrating.

His prominence is defined so much by his assimilationism not because he is a relatively boring person with a husband. That describes plenty of people who still at least passingly validate the necessity of how LGBT histories involve anticapitalist struggles, who may themselves hold these views. There have always been people like Mayor Pete: they were the landlords driving up rent in Greenwich Village during the AIDS Crisis. They were the ones saying that bills could only pass if they dropped protections for trans people. He is a representation of the way that so many politicians only turned to supporting gay marriage when a certain arbitrary threshold was crossed by public support for the idea. The way that criticism of Mayor Pete as a politician who holds incredibly reactionary views, who has presided over violent police action and brazen codification of antiblackness within police work, who willingly joined a colonial war machine and uses that as part of his sales pitch, one who will defend the interests of capital to his dying breath as part of his campaign, one who somehow manages to propose a more cumbersome healthcare plan than Obama’s ultimately ended up being, this is the kind of candidate we have at hand. 

And he is fucking awful.

#pete Buttigieg #mayor pete

[the-queer-look]

Bee Yourself

When viewed from outside, the LGBTQIA+ community, is portrayed as a single, homogenous culture, with a few socially accepted experiences which cisgendered, heterosexual society expects use to conform to. In reality, the LGBTQIA+ community is an umbrella term for a multitude of distinct cultures, united by shared commonalities. This narrow view of what it means to be a part of our community can be extremely damaging to those looking to find themselves.

The Queer Look seeks to explore the identities and experiences of people within the LGBTQIA+ community. To show the many facets that make up a person, and the ways in which we express our identities physically.

The Queer Look aims to show that just because someone does not follow a traditionally accepted path to their identity, and does not conform to all stereotypes associated with that identity, that their experience is not less valid. A gay man who comes out in his forties is no less gay. A Lesbian who has had several boyfriends is no less a lesbian. A trans woman who does not want to wear dresses is no less a woman. And a trans man who refuses top surgery is no less a man.

We are here. We are queer. And we are as unique and distinct as the colours on our flags.

p.s. True to form, I was so excited about the first interview/photoshoot that I forgot to set up the recording equipment. Luckily, Bee took the time to answer a questionnaire that I sent after the fact, hoping to recapture the questions and answers received on the day.

Preferred Name: Bee

Age: 21

Location: Lewisham

Occupation/field of study etc: Receptionist, Arts - History/Gender Studies

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Gender: Non Binary

How would you dress yourself on an average day?

On the day-to-day I pretty much have a uniform! You will always find me in high waisted jeans, a white graphic tee and maroon Doc Martens. Some days I wear a binder but some days I don’t, depending on my dysphoria and level of laziness… I also always have colourful socks on because even if you can’t see them in my Docs I still love them.

At what point did you realise that you were Bisexual?

I think I properly realised when I was at college in university. I was sitting at the dining table with a friend and we were going through my tinder which had all genders selected (although tinder was still pretty binary then…) and we were both commenting on how hot we thought everyone was. Another friend came and joined us and asked what we were doing, to which we of course answered: “oh we’re just looking at hot girls on tinder”. I asked her what she thought of the girl we were currently looking at and she said “oh no I’m not into women” I ended up asking her again because I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what she meant… and in response she said “I’m not really attracted to her because I’m straight.” I think at that point I was like, oh…. I thought everyone was just attracted to everyone??? Which in retrospect I can only eyeroll a bit at my poor baby self… because it really did take me way to long to put it all together… So even though that was the exact moment, I think that was more like the moment I discovered the label applied to me rather than the moment I realised.

At what point did you realise that you were Non-Binary?

I think it was probably a similar experience to discovering I was bisexual. I realised over a year ago now when I was in USYD Queer Revue in 2018. Being around a community of trans people was something I’d never had before and listening to everyone talk about gender and how they felt made me realise that I had a lot of the same feelings… I bought a binder during the show and trying it on I just felt so like myself? I still sometimes feel insecure that I don’t have the classic narrative of knowing I was non-binary since I was a child, because it’s the narrative a lot of mainstream media likes to use for transness. But I think I needed the time to be experiment with femininity before I finally was able to put a name to how uncomfortable I’d been with it for most of my life. I think realising I was non-binary was a lot of putting pieces together rather than a moment of instant clarity. But I’m glad it took me awhile to experiment and figure out what identity fit me.

Have you noticed a distinct change in the way you present yourself from before these realisations to after? How has this changed since?

Definitely!!! I guess the first thing is that I stopped wearing things that make me uncomfortable! When I first came out I tried so hard to fit into the “traditional” narrative of being non-binary, which for afab non-binary people boils down to “if you’re not masc you’re not non-binary”. I wore my binder constantly, I lovvvved button ups and I wore a lot of low-waisted pants and baggy jumpers. After awhile I realised that it didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would, because even though I wasn’t being forced to perform femininity, I was still performing my gender. Now I think what I wear lies somewhere in the middle of what I used to wear before and after coming out. Before I came out I definitely tried as hard as I could to be the “perfect woman”. Lots of femme cut tops, dresses, skirts, heels (which god I hate wearing… just like so much…) and make-up. I still have a few of the clothing pieces I wore back then, but almost all of my wardrobe is completely different. I still wear elements now of what I used to wear – I have always been a jeans and graphic t-shirt person - but I now style them in very different ways.

I’ve also started to reclaim some of the things I vehemently rejected when I was in my masc phase. When I first came out I vowed I would never wear make-up again. But now I’ve come to love wearing make-up as a form of expression when I’m going out or to a party. I still feel pretty dysphoric wearing it day to day, but wearing colourful and bold make-up is something I’ve come to love again. I’ll also very occasionally wear a dress if I feel like it, but I tend to just wear the things that make me comfortable. Now basically all I wear is high-waisted jeans, they don’t give me a very masculine silhouette but when I see myself in photos or in the mirror I look like myself. I joke a lot that I wear a lot of dad fashion, and I think that’s maybe what I’ve become most comfortable in, knowing that people are probably still going to read me as a woman no matter what I wear (thank you heteronormativity…) so I may as well wear what makes me happy and for me that’s feeling like a fancy ass dad.

Do you believe that there is any weight to stereotypes about the way people dress based on their sexuality/gender? e.g. bi people tuck in their shirts, lesbians wear flannel etc. Do you believe that there are inherent differences in the way that lgbt+ people present themselves that make them more visible to other members of the community?

Oh god as someone who adheres to all the stereotypes (eep) this is a hard question! But yes, I think so. I think it really depends on the generation and identity. But I think a lot of people do wear things to make ourselves visible to each other. Whether that’s subtle things like adhering to stereotypes or more overt things like wearing activist or identity shirts.

But a lot of it just comes from LGBT+ culture. There’s an obvious style, way of talking, relating, and expression that LGBT+ people have developed historically and that almost all of us continue to participate in. I think a lot of it comes from musicians, particularly drag or music videos, historical figures like Bowie but now from lots of different singers like Janelle Monáe, Troye Sivan, Kim Petras, King Princess etc etc. I think stereotypes have developed because our culture is so prevalent, and most LGBT+ people adopt stereotypes unconsciously because we surround ourselves with people who express themselves in certain ways and are inspired by them. So, while sometimes we actively try to become visible to each other, I think it’s more that we’re all just hopelessly and lovingly enthralled in our own culture.

Do you feel that a lack of lgbt+ representation in media contributes to a more narrow, shared understanding of lgbt+ fashion, when compared to cis/het counterparts?

Oh god yes. Yes yes yes. Coming out as non-binary I think a lack of representation was so much of what contributed to me struggling with my identity. Before I came out I knew only ONE famous non-binary person… Ash Hardell I’m looking at you. While knowing about Ash was really helpful to me and representation of any form of expression is so important, the overwhelming narrative for afab non-binary people is that if you’re not masc presenting you’re not non-binary. For awhile that meant I tried so so hard to validate my identity by presenting as masculine as I possibly could. I cut my hair, I wore a binder every damn day, I wore joggers and button-ups, I wore hoodies constantly (because apparently to me that was the height of masculinity??). But after doing that for awhile, I realised I was just as unhappy eradicating every ounce of femininity from myself as I was when it was all I expressed. I think going through that process of experimentation was really important for me to realise that instead of trying to fit into what cis/het culture expected non-binary people to look like, I needed to just be myself first and wear what I love and want to wear and know myself that being non-binary is still part of who I am. And a HUGE part of that process was also finding femme presenting non-binary people, especially afab femme enbies. For me it helped enormously in accepting my body and realising that I didn’t have to hate it as violently as I was because it didn’t fit into the definition it was supposed to. Finding people like Dorian Electra (omg please do yourself a favour and look them up they are the epitomy of my gender), Alok Vaid-Menon, Tillett Wright, Sasha Velour etc etc made me realise that there are more ways to be non-binary than just one. Which is what is so damaging about having less representation – it only validates one path, so either you have to bush-bash yourself a new one (which is insanely tiring, emotionally exhaustive and scary) or you have to squeeze yourself into the one path that is provided for you to claim validity. Honestly, I could go on and on about representation but yes it’s so goddamn important. So Mark Zuckerberg and inc. if you’re reading this like I know you are FIX IT YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FIX IT.

When you are in an exclusively lgbt+ setting, do you feel pressured to “play up” your queerness? If so, does this heightened queer exterior feel more true to yourself?

Yes, I think there are still definitely elements of performance to being in a queer space. Sometimes they can be negative, which generally come from the part of me that is still insecure about my identity and worried about how valid I am. I think a lot of queer spaces still hold at their core a performance of queerness that can be a bit exhausting? As cliché as it is, watching Hannah Gadsby’s Nannettereally helped me understand that. Because part of being queer is finding ways to survive, and so much of queer culture revolves around making jokes about our experiences that sometimes are so limiting in how they allow us to exist. We are all just so starved of space to talk about queerness, that when we can I think we all tend to fall into the trap of performing our identities as much as humanly possible. I’m really curious about how other queer people feel about it, but I think for me there is definitely an element of performance that I still struggle with a little. However, I am still so indebted and so in love with queer spaces and queer people. I always feel so at ease being around people who share a way of thinking. And I mean hey, I’m queer, performing is in my blood.

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#thequeerlook #queerlook #the queer look #queer #bi #bisexual #bivisibility #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtqiaplus #nonbinary #non binary #pride #gay #pan #photography #portrait #portrait photography #identity #interview

[milkshakedoe]

le thoughts

something that bothers me about lesbian discourse i’ve seen, and a large part of why i’ve stopped really self-identifying as a “lesbian”, is how even among very well-meaning trans-positive groups or groups of lesbians who are trans themselves (at least online), a major problem always remains IMO not fully resolved: how to deal with closeted and questioning amab trans people, or people with nonstandard gender lacking the language to articulate it, without seeing them as Men in some degree.

it’s not that many don’t try, and i’m certain there are (and i know) very many lesbians who would (rightly) affirm in a heartbeat that such people are not "men”. but i’ve never seen a satisfying argument that really lays our anxieties to rest. as much as the idea that political lesbianism inherently supports transfems as a function of “centering women” or “the lesbian” may feel validating to transfems laboring to define themselves as clearly as possible as “not a man”, within the political framework often assumed by lesbian feminists i don't think this is a problem that ever can be really resolved.

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in popular discourse about oppression there is the idea that oppression is a sort of relationship of individual wrongdoing, the “responsibility” for which ultimately lies at the feet of individuals, even if those individuals are seen as a “structural” group. in this worldview it is “men” who, as a collective of responsible parties, for their own self-benefit and pleasure, commit violence against women and those who aren’t men.

it’s controversial perhaps, but contrary to what you may hear on this site, there is no ‘secret cheat code’ for women to liberate themselves from patriarchal society when it’s all around them. it’s good and necessary to understand that you don’t have to date men, but the truth is that regardless of whether or not you date men we live in a misogynist society and trying to separate from it by divesting ourselves from Men - even where we don’t explicitly call it “separatism” or even “divesting” - isn’t going to save us, and the idea that we can become more or less liberated or more or less revolutionary or what have you by refusing Men and relationships with Men on the basis that Men are the source of oppression by virtue of being “Men” rests on flawed assumptions about gender that cause problems for transfems, and all of us.

the idea that “men” simply oppress women out of a kind of individual self-interest that either they are individually born with, or is somehow transmitted to them by their social man-ness (or their “privilege” makes pursuing their interests inherently detrimental to others, to put it another way), is not really compatible with an understanding of transness that goes further than saying that trans people were “born this way”. although many people, especially trans feminists and lesbians, are aware by now that thinking of trans people as being “born” trans is as mistaken as saying people are “born gay”, those that (rightly!) try to help defend transfems from accusations of “male privilege” still tend to latch on to narratives that essentially say the same thing.

that is, even if we recognize that babies can’t have gender, we say that transfems at least had decided their gender more or less from the point where they could first make conscious social decisions, and as such must be seen as having always been girls or non-men. therefore, when transphobes yammer that all people in patriarchal society are subject to “socialization” which corresponds exactly to assigned gender and defines their gender, we can answer: no, transfems were subject to transfeminine socialization, which decisively qualifies them as always having been feminine.

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but the problem with this idea is that it takes “socialization” entirely at face value and ends up performing the same function: peoples’ gender largely isn’t decided by them; it was locked in once before a person’s social being really came to exist, and can’t change again. it denies the possibility that anyone who considers theirself to have been a “man” at any point in their life could ever be something different. it takes away trans peoples’ agency - and more importantly, it denies the possibility that patriarchal gender could ever really be transcended, since if cis peoples’ genders and interests too are basically locked in at toddlerhood if not at birth, then how can we ever envision doing away with it all?

so to be clear: it’s not “socialization” that makes peoples’ gender. if there is anything to be said about socialization, it is that gender is constituted not by socialization but by individual agency in response to that socialization, struggling against the conditions imposed upon them and what they've been told to accept.

but ultimately, the problem with all of our attempts to grapple with closeted and questioning people lies in the privilege framework itself. so long as we still take the idea of “privilege” seriously - that there are these identity categories to which people “belong” and which essentially determine their self-interests or the effect that pursuing their interests has on others (”mens’ privilege means that their benefit inherently comes at others’ cost”), which amounts to the same thing - then men can only be understood in such a way that ever being associated with men or seeing one’s self as a man (up to and including being attracted to and dating men, “gaining privilege” by becoming a “collaborator” of sorts) makes one inherently tainted with privilege and therefore wrongdoing for which one must be “held accountable”, that is, they must “pay for their crimes”.

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when we see gender and oppression this way, yet try to understand transfemininity in a way that doesn’t give credence to “male privilege”, we run into irresolvable problems: we end up having to define all transfems as effectively always having been feminine as long as they were conscious, which may be the case for some - but thinking this is how it always works makes cis society seem inevitable and impossible to dismantle in the end. and because the privileged must always be “held accountable” for their privilege we have to say that, well it’s unfortunate but good feminists must treat “men” as inherently guilty of the sins of being men until they can prove otherwise that they are not really men. because if we try not to see people who call themselves men in this way, then the entire framework of resistance to patriarchy built on privilege starts to break down.

paradoxically, in defining privilege as a relationship of individual wrongdoing flowing from the social category to which one allegedly belongs, “privilege” sees people not really as people, but as mere representations of abstract categories: individual “men” become really mere physical appendages of the abstract category of Men, and become individually defined as oppressors, while non-men in turn likewise become defined as personifications of their position within gendered oppression. but there is a way out of this mess. i find it more useful and compelling to see people first as individuals who are potentially involved in structural dynamics but not inevitably so. while abstract social structures really do exist, and often dominate us, compel our actions, and structure our spontaneous consciousness (our understanding of the world before any analysis), again, it is our individual agency struggling up against the conditions imposed upon us that defines who we are, and defines our structural relationship to the world in turn.

furthermore, punishment is the logic of capitalism. as the Soviet legal scholar Evgeny Pashukanis wrote, the idea of equivalent punishment to an equivalent “crime” can only arise in the context of capitalism and the commodity fetish. capitalism is a society where we relate to other people first and foremost as owners of commodities and where we obtain almost everything we need to live and enjoy life through buying and selling. in capitalism, the underlying logic of commodities - the logic of value, where two objects are socially held to be equal in trade regardless of their concrete properties that actually make them useful to humans - comes to seem like the primary natural property of all commodities. and because commodity owners always interact first through the comparison of their commodities, and not through a direct social relationship, it comes to seem as though all human relationships are really properties of commodities themselves which can be exchanged: the legal commodity of “rights”, or “dignity” as David Graeber might put it.

the logic of punishment knows no concept of healing and problem-solving, only a very simple math equation: so long as the offender has not served their sentence and “paid their debt”, justice remains unserved, and so the sin of privilege which makes one harmful regardless of one’s intent must always linger with those who were supposedly tainted by it. even if we can define all transfems who’ve realized their gender as having been always women, we find ourselves failing on a collective basis to help those who still lack the language or confidence to articulate themselves.

we can do away with all of this horrible nonsense. if we are really to do justice to transfems in a way that doesn’t frame us as in some sense "privileged” or “men” or a natural aberration within cis society or see cis society as inevitable, we can and urgently need to abandon notions of privilege and punishment.

#q #trans #critecon #theory