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#it makes them feel more... helpless in a way and more dependant on their massive superstructure bodies
shkika · 11 months
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I love how long moon's cloak is, bc she floats so doesn't need something that is easy to walk in so it can be super long to be all fancy and ceremonial. But it's also funny to picture her trying to walk and tripping over it.
YES ACTUALLY! Hah this makes me so happy someone noticed.
All of my iterator designs have very long or heavy clothing which looks all nice and flowy and ceremonial, but it would make it impossible for them to walk. Moons cloak is MASSIVE, Pebbles' and Grey/Chasing's robes are very long and something they'd stumble on or drag, Suns, NSH and Innocence have super long scarf/decorations that would drag and be sooo awkward to walk with (UI's little floaty thing is longer than her height...)
And honestly I headcanon iterators can't walk! Like at all. So it doesn't matter.
Their legs are there for looks not for function. At most they can balance while staying still awkwardly, but that's about it. They weren't made to exist outside their cans.
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romana-after-dark · 9 months
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Keep Cry'n
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Joel Miller x reader
Join dark!Romana's tag list Dark!Romana's Masterlist
Shout out to the girlies in the Whorefully yours discord for encouraging my dark side lol
Summary: Joel kidnapps you, but can't even wait long eough to put his dick inside you to cum. (Reader is rather Little One coded but this is a completetly separate fic from The Wrong Way)
Warnings and Content: NON CON, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT !!!!!! Hair pulling, kidnapping, masturbation, cumming on face, dirty and degrading talk, crying, dacryphilia, Joel is really psycho in this, maybe a lil off his rocker. Implied future abuse. Literally like so much crying.
DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ! If you do not wish to see rape on your feeds at all, i suggest blocking the tags such as non con, dddne, dead dove do not eat, and depending on preferences maybe dub con, yandere, or dark fics. No judgement if its not your thing!
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Your head hurts. So bad. That was all you could think about as Joel dragged you off his house and up the porch by your hair with no regard for how you were supposed to keep up with his long stride. Scalp on fire, you scramble to stand but it seemed he would purposefully yank at you just to make you stumble. 
You can hear him smiling as he speaks, the outline of his cheeks giving away the wide grin if you can look up long enough to catch a glimpse. “Pretty fucking girl. Gonna make such a nice little toy.” 
He doesn’t care that you're crying. He doesn’t care that he took you away from everything you know. He doesn’t care that you are scared. He wants to use you.
Your hands are tied behind your back so you fall on your face when he trusts you onto the shitty mattress, dirt being inhaled into your lungs.
“Just gotta be good for a few days, pretty baby, ‘till I get tired of you and move onto the next shiny thing. Think you can manage that?”
Sobbing, you nod. You can do this. You can…
Your confidence wavers as he stands above you, palming himself and moaning. “Oooohhh fuck, such a pretty little baby, uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhuhuhuuuh” Joel sucks his breath in through his teeth, then shutters it out. “Get the fuck over here.” Joel reaches over and yanks on your hair again, pressing your face up against his jeans-clothes crotch. His musk was strong, the smell of his dick was sweaty and masculine and you could not help but feel just a little turned on. You couldn’t help it; it was biological, primal, evolutionary. 
With your hands still tied behind your back, you were helpless to the way Joel ground your face up against himself, his hard cock prominent despite the stiff material. Fingers entangled in your hair, Joel trust his hips up in your face as you sob, “Fuck baby, keep cry’n, I can feel your tears on my dick.” Joel pressed you tightly up against his crotch, your mouth pressed over the outline of his member and muffled your cries as they turned into attempts to scream. You wanted to bite but you knew better.
When he finally let go, allowing you to sit back on your haunches and breath, Joel unzipped his pants and thrust them and his tighty whitey’s down in one go, his massive cock hanging heavy between his legs. A sick man, Joel gripped your face in his large, rough hands to gather up the wetness before he fucked his fist. 
“God, I need to cum right fuck’n now” He grumbled to himself as he furiously pumped the extensive length. “Ain’t got time to- oh fu-u-u-ck, ain’t got time to fight your pants off.” Joel lets out a loud groan, bucking his hips as his breath shutters before looking down at your crying and shaking figure. “Oh fuck, you look so scared!” He has the audacity to chuckle, smiling at you as he gently nudges you with his boot just to see you cry more. He jerked harder and harder, his cock red and throbbing inches from your face. “There we go, fuuuuuck! Uh, uh, uuuhhhggg” Ropes of white began to spurt out of him, Joel grunting aggressively mixed with huffed out chuckles, a wide, joker-like grin on his face as his eyes sparkled with mischievous possibilities for the future.
Joel took his softening dick and wiped your tears and his cum with it. “Pretty little thing… goddamn… make’n me cum without even touching me, fucking fantastic.” 
You feel the wetness on your face, a mixture of fluids painting you up like a picture. 
Joel pushed you down onto the bed, not even bothering to pull up his pants as he pulled you on his naked body, sighing. He takes a knife out of his pocket, however, and cuts off your ties. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him as you cry. You just wanted to be held, to feel touch and comfort and you didn’t care who it came from. “Oh god, princess…” He’s panting still, a crazy grin plastered upon his face as he stared up at the ceiling, laughing to himself. “Such pretty skin, such a pretty face…” Joel chuckled, long fingers massaging down your still-clothed body. 
“Gonna be a lot of fun playing with it.”
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First dark! joel one shot ina while, woozers.
Love me my crazy man.
Got a cool ask today for a dark triple frontier Will Miller that I loooooove that I will be working on after a few other WIPS.
Also got an idea for a dark!joel sugar daddy yandere vibes fic, a dark!William Tell, and a dark!Nathan Bateman. I also plan to work on a short series (3 parts maybe?) of a darker ending to tww where Joel wins.
If you like this, click the link at the top to be added to my ongoing tag list!
@fandxmslxt69 @moriartyyouwhore @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction
@hereforthepedrofanfic @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and maybe @toxicanonymity might enjoy.....
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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mysterioushistorian · 8 months
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The Beforus Ancestors
honestly, i didnt like how the drawings turned out. i searched for references for the ancestors but i didnt manage to draw them the way i wanted to. most of the designs are okay, though i still feel like some of them are missing something, like colors.
more info abt them ↓
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The Treasure Huntress (aka. Beforan Aradia) She was a very skilled adventurer and loved finding historic artifacts. She had a special taste for East Beforan art and culture. During her adventures, she met a violetblooded sea dweller who also had a fascination for history and dedicated his life to study and learn more about it. Together, they traveled along each other with the goal of learning more about the history of their planet, and eventually, they developed feelings for each other. However, the warmblooded girl was pale, while the coolblooded boy was red. The unspoken tension between each other lead to a fight, which ended in surprise on both sides over the admittance of feelings. Not wanting to disappoint each other, they agreed to just stay friends.
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The Guardian (Beforan Tavros) He he stood up for the rights of trolls in special needs, and by that, he was also heavily against culling (as in the Beforan meaning of culling), saying that nobody should be treated that way (as helpless and fragile, making them too dependant) and by doing that, they would be "hiding the truth of the world from the children" by basically being way too overprotective. He was a farm boy, living in the country sides with his moirail, who mainly took care of the stables. Their farm was open to public visits, and one day, a certain coolblooded visitor has caught his attention. He wished to re-encounter with the man someday. One day, he has suffered a very sudden mutation that made him sprout wings, with him finally being able to realize his dream of traveling the world to spread the word about the dangers of culling and the rights of trolls in special needs.
(please correct me if I got the wrong meaning of Beforan culling, as I will talk about it again)
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Radiical Psygamer (Beforan Sollux) He was, perhaps, the greatest programmer that Beforus has ever seen. With his magnificent skills, he was responsible for massively improving trolls’ technology and has contributed to the creation of a few robots and helped with the coding of various popular games. He was, however, a terrible teacher, given his introversion and general social awkwardness. He was a big figure in the world of console games and was the first to actively encourage girls to play games too.
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The Unculled (Beforan Karkat) Because of his rare candy red blood, no lusus wanted to raise him, leaving him there all alone. One day, he was found by a purpleblooded man who took him to his hive in hopes that someone would pick him. They waited, and waited, and waited… but no lusus came. Tired of waiting, the big troll decided to raise the grub himself. Because of his caretaker, the mutantblooded grew up to be loud, tough and intimidating, but had a big, friendly heart and cared for his loved ones a lot.
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Sharpeye Furrline (Beforan Nepeta) She was a very skilled huntress. According to herself, she only killed what she ate, and if she didn’t eat, killing them would be mean. She could hunt creatures from a very small size to ones that were the double of her own. One day, while hunting for her dinner, she has killed a creature that was going to become a Lusus of a small wriggler. Therefore, she has accidentally unlocked the rage of a coolblooded troll. Terrified, she knew she couldn’t fight back, so she ran as fast as she could, far away from that beach. No one knows what happened to her.
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The Seamstress (Beforan Kanaya) A rare jadeblood with a rare taste for fashion. She became known for her dresses with odd patterns, inspired by the landscapes around her. She also traveled in search of different sights and, consequently, more ideas for dresses. Her works have eventually caught the attention of the Empress, who offered her a job as her official seamstress.
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The Attorney (Beforan Terezi) She was a blind woman who did not allow her disability to hold her back. She fought back against Beforus’ culling policy and became a excellent lawyer. Dedicating herself to fight against crime and bring justice to maintain the order and peacefulness of her planet, she chased a mischievous pirate lady who seemed to cause trouble everywhere she passed. She was The Unculled’s matesprit.
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Arachnid Cap8tain (Beforan Vriska) A troublemaker who caused mischief together with her pirate crew. She considered The Attorney her rival, as she was the only one who insisted in chasing her and never gave up on her quest to capture the spider pirate. A completely platonic rivalry. She held a special interest for snooker and said that the Ball 8 was actually “her lucky ball”.
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The Horseman (Beforan Equius) A STRONG man who really liked horses. He lived in a farm with his moirail and was responsible for taking care of the stables. Because of his interest, they ended up having way too many horses, which resulted in them having to build a larger stable for all of them. He loved every single one of them and took great care of each one. He said he occasionally had dreams where he was half a man and half a horse (basically a centaur), which is the origin of his title.
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The Clownish Caretaker (Beforan Gamzee) He rescued lususless grubs and wrigglers with an absent lusus and took care of them temporarily, until a new lusus came to become their official guardian. Despite being tall, lanky and overall intimidating, he was a very sweet and cheerful man, and loved entertaining others. Just like others, he was also heavily against culling and said that “every motherfucker should know and be able to defend themselves.” One day, a lusus was coming to his hive to pick up a grub, but it was killed by Shapeye Furrline. The man never felt so much rage before. The pure platonic hate he held towards the woman was bigger than the amount of hate he thought he could feel. Despite that, and contrary to popular belief, he did not chase the lady and took him quite some time to calm down. He was responsible for raising The Unculled and made sure to treat him properly.
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The Historian (Beforan Eridan) A seadweller with a huge fascination for history, he dedicated his life to learn more about the mysteries of his world. He read diares and looked for accurate informations, instead of believing in telltale stories. He studied ancient walls and occasionally collected some artifacts, purely for research reasons, and that’s when he met The Treasure Huntress. They decided to travel together, and it did not take long for him to become flushed for her. Unfortunately, she did not return the feelings, instead being pale for him. They agreed to stay friends, but very deep inside, he was still a bit disappointed.
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Her Glorious Imperialist (Beforan Feferi) The ruler of Beforus. She was a very kind and sweet woman, undoubtedly one of the best rules Beforus has ever seen. She treated her people with fairness, yet despise that, she was pro-culling, saying that some should not face the dangers of the world. After offering a job for The Seamstress, she and the jadeblood grew close. Despite being the one in charge of the planet, she decided to take care of Arachnid Cap8tain herself, and being a seadweller, it wasn’t hard to find her. She still congratulated The Attorney for her efforts in chasing the troublemaker pirate.
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havfayth · 10 months
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HEADCANON. OUTLOOK.
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the fact that jing yuan's name reflects that of sunshine says a lot about his character. and while he is easily perceived to be of a yang type of character, i believe he has both the forces of yin yang in balance. he is wise, he always have the sake of others in mind and devise strategies to keep his home safe. animals such as birds feel comfortable around him, flock towards him because he exudes such a gentle, calming, positive yet powerful energy. he never lets go of his ideals, to go on the path of least bloodshed or the promise he swore to defend luofu at all cost while choosing to spare his mentor from death, spare his friend from execution and allowing his other friend to depart luofu safely as general ( this act of choice also helped him away from feeling helpless to the strings of this world ).
jing yuan is strong, unbelievably and unwaveringly strong and both his mental and intellectual fortitude invariably also protect and strengthen his heart to continue LOVING, and never abandon his grief into a stage of powerlessness from the choices he continues to make according with his ideals and faith, in which most turned out positively for him. jingliu, for example, is still herself despite being mara-struck. thus led him to live a mara-free life for so long while many around him and mentor have succumbed.
that is not to say that jing yuan does not suffer any trauma or pain. he still have nightmares and dreams from the old past with the cruelest awakening. he still experience an immense level of GUILT, remorse and loneliness that came with being the only survivor out of his close peers. he's suffered losses like no other, he's been through so much pain and agony that the earlier years he spent was blaming himself and ridding himself the right to chase after his own dreams so as to solve this crisis and save his friends from being executed. jing yuan is not disillusioned into thinking that the pain from his past would go away. no. they are here to stay forever. and accepting that is the biggest hurdle he overcame.
the matters of the heart is complex and untamable but the mind is far more stronger and jing yuan makes sure to make it so through self care, proper cycle of self-reflection, keeping journals and meditation.
it is this that reinforces the headcanon vulnerabiltiies of mine, because he has been successfully moving through life that he does not feel the need to depend on others ( as opposed to it being a trust issue ). and this will eventually become a flaw on his part because the same thing cannot work forever if you don't seek out new strategies as things age and change.
one huge thing is Jing Yuan's love. his for people, love for luofu and love for life. He too love his old friends as strongly as he did when they were still around but he never lets that love make him feel powerless, helpless and agonizing to force him into running away or chasing after what's in the past. that what matters is accepting the endless cycles as it is, let things flow as the wind and water takes you and experience the new sights along the way, letting go of the sights you've already seen as they will forever be real and loved by your memories. and though they will never be replaced, the new people and adventures you meet will make living for so long more bearable than simply letting yourself fall to yearning the old days. that true strength means to stand bravely, freely on top of it while keeping them close to your heart without letting them poison it.
it is not the fame or glory or wealth that satisfies him after this journey full of pain and sufferring. it is the things he can still love, that he is still allowed to love and it is that love that protects the people around him and carry luofu through an age of peace under his plans and directions.
and only he himself can give that allowance to love as strongly and massively as much as the losses he endured.
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actualbuckybames · 8 months
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I recall some time ago, you said you were struggling with the correct metaphor for Adam's rage (something something fire?).
Now that you've finished Hollow People (an incredible work, by the way), do you feel like you've solved this problem? What is the metaphor you're using right now?
P.S. Out of every AU you've mused about in your blog, I feel like Cinder & Adam childhood friends is the most ambitious one that nevertheless fits together. Cinder is incredibly selfish, early Adam is incredibly selfless; both are toxic mindsets. Just them being friends would help balance it.
P.P.S. Cinder & Adam robin-hooding their way through Atlas' elite AU when? /j
I was struggling, yeah. But asking me to pick one metaphor and be done with the matter feels like asking me to pick my favorite song lol. It depends on the circumstances, y'know?
Crash course on how I use/think up metaphors and similes: my first question is what I'm trying to do with the figurative language. Am I trying to give shape to something shapeless - i.e., give my readers something they can solidly picture as opposed to some nebulous feeling they may or may not know - or am I trying to establish a scene/appearance?
In this case, it's the former. Now, some of us may know the kind of bone-cracking rage that would drive you to tear up your life by the roots and murder everyone you know, but I doubt it's common. So I have to convey the depth of his anger. At the same time, no one is that angry all the time.
So comes part 2: what exactly am I trying to convey? What does this particular scene call for? What makes sense for Adam in this specific moment?
There are any of a thousand ways to describe rage. Hell, we even have multiple words for it, each one conveying a different severity or cause or effect. A hard lesson I learned was that, when you're younger, it's just straight up harder to write emotions convincingly. Life experience plays a big role in knowing how "big" someone's reaction to something will be and how they might be feeling at a given moment. Nevertheless:
If I have Adam being relatively calm in a given scene, I don't want to have some kind of explosive comparison going on in the background. Erupting volcanoes don't really pair with a dude just walking down the street. However, if I want that volcanic vibe, if I want to communicate how he's right on the edge of losing it and stick to the idea of anger being something scorching hot, I could talk about the magma shifting under the surface, the pressure bubble building and building, the stone capping it cracking. In that case, magma = rage and stone = self-control.
If I have Adam utterly swept up in anger, on the other hand, I can go with conceptualizing his rage as a storm (like I did with the hurricane passage). We all have some rough idea of what it must be like to be swept up in a massive wave or otherwise helpless at sea, riding the waves and letting them take us where they may.
If I have Adam grappling with his anger, I can treat the rage as an animal, something fighting against him. Give the feeling some agency so it's a true battle with push and pull.
There are dozens more. I'm also a fan of comparing rage to a weapon, one that's as easily turned on you as your opponents. I could go on, but you get the idea. I think I use almost all of these at one point or another in Hollow People lol.
And yeah, young Adam and Cinder had much more character building potential than I expected. Maybe one day I'll write more for that. Maybe not 🤷
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Okay, one more thing (probably not just one more thing), since I’m ranting about Duggan’s Pyro again.
Given that Duggan writes Pyro as frequently giving lip service to wanting to kill people, but also obediently following all the rules on the Marauder and arguably maiming fewer people than Bobby does, at least in terms of what we see on panel, it would have been interesting to explore the idea that Pyro is actually more bark than bite.
And no, I’m not looking to retcon Pyro’s backstory and reveal that he’s actually a sweetheart who never wanted to kill anyone.  He has been shown killing people on panel.  In battle he is callous, vicious, and sometimes even downright gleeful about killing people.  He is a nasty dude. 
But....exactly how vicious Pyro is depends on the writer.  The Brotherhood is written as bumbling idiots half the time, and it’s hard to say how high of a body count any of them really has, especially compared to the big names like Magneto, Apocalypse, SInister, etc.  I think I’ve mentioned before in a post, that for the extremely destructive powers that they have, we really don’t see Pyro or Avalanche causing the kind of mass death that they could cause, if they wanted to.  The only time we see Pyro causing massive, destructive wildfires is actually when his powers are out of control due to the Legacy Virus, and he’s running around delirious, not actively trying to hurt people. 
Given that Pyro is usually written as having a puffed up ego, and putting on a big show for attention (Duggan also writes him this way, and that part is definitely in character), it would make sense to me if some of Pyro’s “Whee, I love killing people!” attitude is just him putting on a tough guy act.  Partially because he’s been spending most of his time as a terrorist, and partially just because he doesn’t want to be perceived as weak, he wants to be a “badass,” so he constantly puts on a show of being all big and bad. 
It would have been interesting to address this in Marauders.  Like, a scene where Kate, or more likely, Emma, calls Pyro’s bluff and tells him to go ahead and kill someone, promising that he won’t be Pitted for it.  I could see Emma setting this up as some kind of psychic “test” just to see what he’ll do, actually.  And for whatever reason, we see Pyro hesitate or back down.  Maybe the person he’s been given “permission” to kill is totally helpless and he feels weird just executing them right in from of everyone.  Maybe he suspects that it’s a test and he doesn’t want to do the “wrong” thing.  Maybe it’s Yellowjacket, and he starts talking about how he thinks Pyro is really cool, and Pyro is like, “Aww, you’re actually not such a bad guy, we could get along.”  Or again, we could have had an encounter between Pyro and Wilhelmina, since Duggan seems to love her, and show Pyro spare or even help her when he realizes that she is trying to change for the better (just like him). 
Or hell, even something like Bishop or Bobby pointing out that Pyro seems to be mostly talk when it comes to killing people. 
It’s just weird to me that Duggan, while giving Pyro the tiniest little crumbs of a redemptive story, also wrote a more vicious and blood-thirsty Pyro than some of his past depictions.  And again, his “violent wild-card” status on the team really does seem to be mostly talk.  He doesn’t cross the line, he doesn’t even come close.  He doesn’t give more than the most cursory protest of “Awww, please lemme kill this guy,” then quickly drops it when someone tells him “No.”  Marauders Pyro is like a cat fluffing itself up real big and hissing.  “Look at me, I’m so scary with my skull-face tattoo!”  But he really just wants to curl up and take a nap.    
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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xiexiecaptain · 1 year
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Shadow & Bone rewatch deep dive commentary that was started on twitter and is being moved/continued here!
This is the post for EP 04: Otkazats’ya
[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]
((There WILL be spoilers mentioned for the books in the Grishaverse including the Crows duology & King of Scars duology! This is basically from the perspective of watching the show as someone who knows the books well.))
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(Just a disclaimer that I’m picking up doing these commentary posts from here after season 2 is out! Just fyi, I might mention s2 stuff in these where it wasn’t mentioned in the posts for eps 1-3)
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Omg not the captain singing the drinking song Nina sang to Inej in the hold of the ship on the way to Fjerda
I love how they just toss in background book details in new places to color in the world! You can tell everyone working on constructing this show was such a massive fan of the books and it warms my heart
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As always, I’m just enamored by the linguistics and writing systems the show has designed and fleshed out for all the languages!! They make the world feel so lived-in!
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Poor Mal. He really feels so powerless and helpless; even to people who are super devoted, sheer faith and longing can’t keep people going forever.
Boy is living on crumbs atm
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Mean Girls (2004) voice: AND NONE FOR MAL ORETSEV BYE
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These two are so pure i can’t get over it. 
Thank you for giving Mal close relationships (even if they eat it soon) other than Alina!
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NOT GENYA CALLING HER SUNSHINE-!!!
😭 😭 😭 
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YEAH ITS CUS HE WANTS TO FEEL OWNERSHIP OVER YOU ALINA
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Yep yep giving her crumbs of vulnerability to draw her in. 
Top tier manipulator shit.
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Jesper’s hair and expression here I’m fucking laughing so hard
He looks like he just woke up from a week-long bender omfg.
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 Jesper, honey, I’m begging you, drink some water along with whatever alcoholic beverage is in that glass
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LOVE LOVE LOVE how they find ways to weave the Crows’ plotlines into the S&B book plot.
Using the Winter Fete party as distraction was probably drawn from them using Hringkälla for the Ice Court job. But I suppose in the show it’s gonna be the other way around now which is funny. They’re probably gonna be like “Well, remember how we snuck into the Little Palace in Ravka because of their big celebration? Let’s do that with this job too!”
Very Beethoven/Bootstrap Paradox meta shit here and it makes me laugh
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Kaz Brekker has never taken a day off in his entire life and it shows
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LOOK HOW EXCITED THEY ARE
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Even Inej is trying not to burst out grinning
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Same you guys
I always get hyped as fuck for a heist!
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You’ve heard of Chekov’s gun, but we’ve finally found Chekov’s bullet
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The fucking barmaid’s face 
I can’t
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“Who is this strange Zemeni dude and why did he dump a goat in my arms and start speaking softly and mournfully to it in Kerch???”
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Not him blowing Milo a kiss
I LOVE JESPER FAHEY AND HIS DRAMATIC BISEXUAL ASS
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LYING THROUGH HIS GD TEETH AGAIN
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Spinning his fake little sob stories
Manipulator 👏 Shit 👏
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I do appreciate this way of trying to make exposition about the Black Heretic story more active
And making the scene serve several purposes at once (Kirigan trying to draw Alina in with his ~relatable outcast~ stuff, as well as giving the viewers the backstory)
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Again, I’m just glad these three got to be on-screen. It gives Mal other people around him that matter. (Which does then help fuel/motivate his devotion to Alina as we go forward.)
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That was really also one of the things that bugged me about book!Mal (Although, to be fair, it might be less of a writing issue than a personal one) but it sticks in my craw when characters are single-person focused. (Unless that’s, like, part of their character shit to figure out, them feeling lonely or co-dependent, etc.) 
Like I do understand it’s kind of been “Mal and Alina against the world” since they were young. But they haven’t always been together since they joined the military. Having relationships that span back for a long, long time can be powerful, don’t get me wrong. But length of a relationship isn’t the only measure of its importance.
I think part of it was that we only got Alina’s POV and so Mal in some parts of the series felt very one-note, unmotivated, unbelievable, etc. Because all we got was what he managed to say to Alina when he was actually present and interacting with Alina (which didn’t happen for a large part of books 1 and 3.)
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The lesbian skepticism on Nadia’s face-!!!
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I will never, in my life, get over Freddy’s acting as Kaz acting as a stuffy fancy ~artíst~
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CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER
I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM
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Ok so remember when this was the first sneak-peek scene they released of the Crows and we got to see them in action together for the first time??
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It reminded me of my thoughts about Freddy’s voice as Kaz. 
At first I was like “oh, hmm, he’s got kind of a higher, smooth voice as opposed to the way Kaz’s voice is described in the books” which is that rough gravely “rock-salt rasp.”
But as an iteration of Kaz (pluralism is my friend, you guys) Freddy’s voice for him is something I actually super love? 
Like it’s a different sort of menacing. It can feel icy, if that makes sense. Like the higher register lends itself to his voice sounding cold, and the smoothness comes across as that kind of menacing sort of calmness. I dunno I just dig it.
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I know we talk a lot about Inej’s knives (for good reason) 
But dear saints I love Inej being invisible soundless sneaky. 
I know she’d dislike me saying it, but honestly, she’s goddess material. This woman deserves to be lauded and honored at every opportunity.
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What’s that meme again? “My idea of help from above is a sniper on the roof?”
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Also, him waiting for the clock to chime to disguise the gunshot-!!!
Clawing my face off because I love my clever clever little thieves so much
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[“Oh, and Inej,” he said as he led her out of the salon, “don’t ever sneak up on me again.”
The truth was she’d tried to sneak up on Kaz plenty of time since then. She’d never managed it. It was as if once Kaz had seen her, he’d understood how to keep seeing her.”]
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Ok so we all agree that Kaz 100% did the same thing as with the magician he saw as a kid, right? Where he was obsessed with figuring out how the trick worked and unraveling it so he could learn to see what was actually happening?
Like [“Some people see a magic trick and say, “Impossible!” [...] And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind.”]
INEJ WAS A PUZZLE HE THOUGHT ABOUT OVER AND OVER UNTIL HE FIGURED IT OUT
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Oh, yknow, just reviewing stolen high-security floorplans in a public bar. As one does.
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Lmao so basically my entire family hunts (northern woodlands, man) and I’m relatively sure my grandma has something that looks pretty much exactly like this
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every friend group has someone like this in it
(in my experience said friend is usually a transmasc gremlin type)
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fucking Mal just Very Seriously doing his Very Serious tracking while these two chucklefucks discuss selling literal shit in the background
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knowing our beloved nina, the amount of sheer willpower she’s dredging up to refuse food is seriously impressive
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she aint wrong, matty boy
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ok so this is actually super interesting?? Because it speaks to Matthias having subtle curiosities/doubts about grisha and not fully understanding why someone would become grisha since he believes  (read: was told) they weren’t just born that way.
In the books we never got to see Matthias speak to Nina alone until the shipwreck, there was always either other drüskelle and/or the other grisha captives on the ship (I mean there are other captives tied up here but they aren’t all shoved into a cage together so Nina and Matthias can have their own conversation)
I really like this little peek into Matthias trying to make sense of the indoctrination he was fed
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yeah exactly, he’s trying to assuage his doubts about how “human” feeling Nina is because it’s gnawing at the indoctrination of dehumanization he’s been taught
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Also, i love the camera work in this scene -- the lights are all hazy with lots of lens-flares and the shots are so so tight and close!
We’re putting two characters whose circumstances of birth and country and beliefs are so diametrically opposed together. But here they’re having a brief moment of connection where they each have a glimpse of each other’s humanity (in between all the vitriol.)
By cutting in close and having the rest of the “world” feel “out of focus” or “out of shot” it’s allowing this moment to feel like they can be two people for a brief moment rather than grisha and drüskelle. I adore it.
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Yeah, see and then when they start talking politics about the Darkling, more of the shots have the camera pulling back a bit, because the “world” outside the two of them is shoving distance back between them
(Obv this is not an exact one-to-one this mapping of shots, but the scene in general does that and its really cool)
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And then it pushes back in and gets more hazy again when Matthias has a moment of decency and offers Nina the bread without strings attached
mwuah! chef kiss!
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ofc then it falls apart because these two are the most stubborn (affectionate, exasperated) people on the entire planet who can’t EXIST without taking petty jibes at each other
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Just taking a moment to appreciate Calahan Skogman because he plays Matthias so incredibly well
I’m hoping so damn hard we get to see the Ice Court job adapted so we can see Matthias get let out of detention so he can go run and play with the other kids at recess
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These are the faces of two exhausted parents at the end of a frustrating day with their excitable son and I’m living for it
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LISTEN YOU TWO
AT LEAST JESPER IS COMING UP WITH IDEAS, STOP GLARING
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Ok but this troupe leader, Marko, actually comes off as such a wholesome guy? I lowkey love his face?? 
Look how tear-stained and puff from crying it is?! This poor guy finally got to perform for royalty and thought his lifelong dreams had just been crushed and was sobbing into a mug of beer!
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Inej entrusting Kaz with her knives DOES something to me, you guys
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There is a fucking novel of unspoken words in these expressions I’m gonna gnaw my couch cushions in to piecessss-!
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He’s so cute you guys I hope he still has a long and fruitful career even after all the fuckery that goes down at the Winter Fete
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This whole scene has me gazing in adoration like a doting parent
Me to the person next to me, pointing, with a camcorder in my hand: Those are my kids!!! God, they’re so talented, I’m so proud of them!!
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The fact that they made up entirely new playing card suits for this world-!!!
Honestly so much of what makes this world come to life in the show is thanks to how much AMAZING work the props and set people did??? 
They obviously loved and cared about the grishaverse so much, you can see in the sets and the costumes and the props how much work was put into making this world come to life and feel like a world that really exists with all its little bits and bobs and details!
That kind of worldbuilding minutia stuff just makes my brain go brrrrrr
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Also I haven’t mentioned anything about the soundtrack yet but hot damn they’ve done so much to make it atmospheric but also do the A+ soundtrack thing of weaving musical themes for characters/groups
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Ok tho Kaz 10000% could have gotten in as a performer too. Man’s got mad slight-of-hand skills he could definitely go in as a stage magician
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It’s time for 🎶✨~Alina’s Emotional Mushroom Trip~ 🎶✨
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Of course she was! 
I feel like its super obvious that two orphan kids who’ve been through trauma and made a close connection would crave the stability of the life they have with a beloved friend, especially over an unknown where they would be alone and in a new place again having to start over???
I mean, she says she was thinking of Mal and not herself, but it’s both. Because him being alone would mean she would also be alone. 
Alina was a scared little kid who had lost everything and was doing what she thought would keep everything she knew from being ripped away again.
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I feel like in the books the dynamic of Darklina in the first book, it was obvious/deliberate that Alina felt very isolated at the Little Palace and so was kind of always steered back to the Darkling for scraps of affirmations or reassurances, plus the draw of their powers compounding this manipulation net the Darkling pulled her in by.
The dynamic feels different in the show, for a few reasons. I think Alina being aged up contributes to that. Also, we don’t get Alina’s interiority and descriptions of how her/the Darkling’s powers feel and pull her. 
(Also Jessie and Ben have Very Good on-screen chemistry. And Ben Barnes is, well, Ben Barnes so the attraction-angle of the pull toward him is very believable.) 
I mean, while Alina is aged up, she’s still a young woman. Her whole life she has overwhelmingly felt less than, invisible, and nothing special. And someone powerful is now telling her she’s unique and powerful and he’s the only one who understands her. 
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While Alina is still obviously manipulated heavily in the show, it feels less extreme? I don’t know how to word it?
Other contributing factors I think are her actually making closer friends at the Little Palace and that in the show we don’t see that extended period of time of her struggling and struggling and feeling like shit and powerless and “Other”-ed again. Also because we are shown that Mal DOES super care about her, rather than only getting her speculating and worrying. 
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And not only on Alina’s end is it different but I feel like the show we get shown more of Kirigan feeling helpless (something which is both authentic and strategic.)
Like I think its definitely real that he is struggling with these feelings of helplessness and futility in moving towards his goals. 
But he is very deliberate in the ways he goes about showing it to Alina to make her feel like he’s letting his guard down with her and to garner sympathy with. As Baghra says towards the end of the season, giving Alina “a glimpse of the wounded boy.”
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And it’s a huge credit to Ben Barnes that I feel that simultaneous nature. 
Like in the moment, you do believe him in his pain and his loneliness. Because that is real. 
But then you step back and realize he’s only showing it and showing it in such a way to weaponize it to cultivate those feelings of sympathy in Alina and keep her from seeing him as dangerous to her. 
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Ben Barnes’s performance really sells the Darkling so well. Because these things are all true: he has seen people die and is lonely and feels like he has to claw his way toward any change he can achieve.
But he is also playing bits of that up in very strategic ways in Alina’s presence to manipulate her.
(I always feel like I’m not gonna have more to say about the Darkling and then I end up writing a novel about it??)
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”B-b-but- 
Wait, was I the only one who believed we were actually giving them a fair trial?!?”
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My parents’ walks to school, according to them.
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Listen, I just love them
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I LOVE THEM PUTTING TIME AND THOUGHT INTO SPRINKLING IN WORLDBUILDING
END ME
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Listen all I can think about when I watch this scene is how this actor probably spent 9 hours in hair and makeup and wardrobe just to stand there, grab a stack of letters, shake his head, and walk away because he was a non-speaking extra and if he said “No” out loud they would have had to pay him the under-5-lines rate
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Get that shit outta here, Baghra, we celebrate interdependence in this household!!
Also, the entirety of season 2’s themes would also like a word with you 👀👀
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Ok not to sound like my northern midwestern mother but
CHILD DO NOT GO OUT IN THE COLD! AND SNOW! AT NIGHT! WITHOUT A FUCKING HAT ON?
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You’re gonna get frostbite, Mal!! 
It is AT LEAST below 10°F with how crunchy that snow sounds!!
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Honestly, good for Alina. proud of her
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This is funny to me because I know Jessie had a habit of just napping constantly in random places on set
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Just BFF things: having matching palm scars
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ARCHIEEEEE
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Sometimes I feel for Archie because it can’t be easy playing Mal who, as characters in the grishaverse go, isn’t exactly the biggest fan favorite
And yet he’s out here giving us performances of this caliber
I see you and I love you Mr. Renaux
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And that’s the end of episode 4!
[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]
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Linked Keys Febuwhump
Days 19/20 - "You deserve this"/knife wound
As much as he generally tried to avoid violence, Hyrule was not the type to go down without a fight. He’d offered himself up to the enemy to save Future, sure, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make it hard for them to use him as the sacrifice they needed to revive Ganon. Unfortunately, his usual tactics would prove to only get him hurt worse in this case. 
He tried to fight back, taking out a few Moblins and a Daira with lightning before igniting his sword and attempting to finish off the rest of the monsters in a swirling blaze of fury. He’d managed to cut their numbers down until only the leader— Hylian in appearance like him, though obviously some kind of wizard— remained. Then he was sent sprawling across the ground while his sword went flying in the opposite direction. He couldn’t retrieve it without having to run past the wizard, and Hyrule’s life wasn’t the only one at stake here, he reminded himself. He still had to get Future, who was sopping wet, seemed to be having some kind of reaction to whatever tainted the water of Hyrule’s world, and barely breathing as it was.
He could come back for the sword later. His best chance was to grab Future and run. But no sooner had Hyrule scrambled to his feet and took off running when he suddenly felt pain rip across the back of his left thigh, causing him to stumble and fall once more. Thankfully the wound didn’t seem to have hit an artery or anything, but the sight of his own blood as it spilled down his leg made Hyrule feel dizzy and nauseous. It didn’t help that whatever magic was used to inflict this wound felt like it came with an extra dose of pain, because despite being a relatively minor cut (at least compared to others Hyrule had received over the years) it was agonizingly painful, too much so for Hyrule to even think about trying to stand again.
“You don’t get to run away again, Hero. Your time is up. And if you try to resist again,” The wizard gestured to Future, “Then your friend will be the one who pays for your misdeeds. Do you understand? You will come with me, and you will meet your fate as the one whose blood shall awaken the Demon King once more. And then maybe, depending on how well he behaves, I may consider letting your friend go.” Without even waiting for a response from Hyrule, the wizard waved his hand, forming a magical chain that bound Hyrule’s wrists together. He was then pulled along roughly behind the wizard while Future remained suspended in the air by magic beside him. Surely Hyrule could think of an escape plan… He always did.
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Hyrule did not come up with an escape plan. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but nearly everything he came up with that normally should have worked if he’d been alone, he found would be far too risky to attempt with Future’s life on the line. And by the time the wizard reached his destination, it was too late. Dozens of cultists gathered around a massive urn which Hyrule could only guess held the ashes of his enemy. Monsters of every kind guarded the ritual location. If Hyrule were the type to curse like Legend or Wind, this would most certainly be a situation where he would have dropped an “F bomb”.
Future was quickly taken away and by a small portion of the crowd, tied tightly to a nearby tree where he could be easily watched and, if he were to wake up, he would be forced to witness his friend’s death. Without a sword, and low on magic (He probably could only manage a shield spell at this point), Hyrule was too small and powerless to even try to get away as he was then dragged towards the center, pinned down, and tied to to a large wooden frame that could be placed over the urn so that any wound he received would bleed directly into it. He didn’t see a way out of this one. He let out a helpless sob as he realized this was it; he’d failed. 
He failed and there was nothing he could do about it now. He could have prevented it… But doing so would have required him to selfishly endanger his friends— no, his family— to save himself. As if he hadn't sacrificed enough innocent lives, led an entire kingdom to further ruin and decline by not being better. If he had done a better job at defeating Ganon in the first place...He wouldn't be cursed. He wouldn't be hunted. Those precious few who tried to protect him… wouldn't be getting hurt.
You deserve this. It's your fault. You didn't do good enough the first time. You brought yourself and your friends into this mess. And in the end, you got yourself caught, he thought to himself. He deserved this. He was hopeless. All he ever did was mess up. He could only hope the other heroes would be able to fix his mistake once he was gone.
The other heroes… Hyrule turned his head to the side and saw a few familiar faces hiding in the bushes. He tried not to let his surprise show on his face. He couldn’t risk the cultists turning against what could possibly be Future’s last hope. The blood from his leg was already dripping into the urn, lightly sizzling as it hit the ashes below. The wizard stepped up onto a raised platform beside it, holding a very impressive dagger in his hands. A dagger that was about to end Hyrule’s life, he reminded himself. 
Whatever happens to me, don’t let my failure doom this world. Whatever happens to me, please let my brothers be able to fix it. Hyrule prayed silently, Hylia… Or whoever is up there… I know I’ve never prayed to you before…But please protect them. Protect my family.
Hyrule’s vision became a white-out of pain as the knife was driven straight into his stomach. He quickly realized they didn’t just want him dead, they wanted him to suffer; otherwise they would have gone for the heart. They wanted him to suffer. They wanted him to watch the results of his failures come to reality. They wanted to make him spend the last minutes of his life in agony, and regret, and utter despair. And as much as he hated it, as much as he hated this situation he was in… He still felt wholeheartedly that it was what he deserved.
 His mind was reduced to a fog as the cultists erupted into cheering and chanting. Chanting for their master. Cheering for the death of the hero. Warm wetness was quickly soaking Hyrule’s tunic, turning it from green to a horrible, ugly shade of dark brown, then dripping down into the urn below along with the blood from his leg. The sizzling became more of a violent bubbling as the ashes slowly came together to begin taking a new form. Hyrule would have vomited, but all that was in his stomach now was his own blood.
“YOU BASTARDS!!!” Legend shrieked. There was the sound of people attempting to run away, only to be swiftly knocked out by the pink ball of sheer rage that was the veteran. Someone was messing with the ropes at Hyrule’s feet. He looked down through the haze of pain to see Paint working on freeing him. When he couldn’t figure out how to untie them, he drew his sword and just cut them off the frame, holding Hyrule’s legs up so he wouldn’t fall into the Ganon goop. A second person cut his hands free before wrapping their arms around his body underneath his armpits to lift him up and out of the danger zone. Wild, seemingly the one to have picked up the dropped Master Sword from Future’s capture, stepped up to the edge of it and thrust the blade downwards at the same time Hyrule was dragged away to safety. There was an explosion of dark magic, so sickening to even a half-fairy that it actually did make Hyrule vomit blood all over himself and the ground. 
“Shit… Rulie!” Legend cried as he gently lowered his wounded brother to the ground. He quickly removed his green cape, rolled it up into a ball and pressed it painfully hard against the stab wound. 
“Ow…” Hyrule muttered, voice slurred a little bit as blood loss began to catch up with him.
“I’m sorry, but I need to keep pressure on it so you don’t bleed out!” Legend snapped back, but with no real meanness to his voice, only the protective frustration that Hyrule knew was just a front for fear and concern. 
“Hhha ha hha yu’re w’rried ‘bout me.” Hyrule chuckled weakly.
“You fucking idiot, of course I’m fucking worried about you!!! I just watched you almost get used as a human sacrifice and not be able to interfere until the knife already went into your godsdamned stomach!” Legend huffed, shouting to the others, “I need a potion or a fairy or something over here right now! He’s lost too much blood already!” Legend tried to keep pressure on the wound until someone arrived with more supplies, mostly taken from Hyrule’s own bag. When Paint sat down beside the two, Legend noticed Hyrule wasn’t making jokes anymore, but instead just staring blankly into the sky above. 
“Check his pulse, I think he might be going into shock.” Legend told his descendant frantically, noticing the lack of awareness and shallow breathing that had suddenly crept in. The rapid, weak pulse in Hyrule’s neck against Paint’s fingers confirmed it. This was bad. What if they couldn’t get him to drink the potion?
Well, they had to try. While Paint uncorked the bottle, Legend moved Hyrule to where his head was propped up on Legend's lap, hopefully making it easier to drink without spilling or choking. Paint tried to bring the potion bottle to Hyrule's lips but he seemed too dazed to realize what it was or what to do with it. 
"S'poison… Y' tryna kill me…" He guessed. 
"It's not poison I swear. This is going to heal you. Okay? But you need to drink—" Paint was cut off by Hyrule's feeble attempt at blowing a raspberry, laughing before he erupted into a coughing fit, blood spraying from his mouth as pain shot through his body with each wet hack. Legend, realizing there was probably no other way to do this at this point, grabbed Paint's hand with his free one and held it against the wadded up cloak, now stained with Hyrule's blood just like everything else.
"You keep the pressure on it. I'll handle this." He snatched the bottle from Paint's hand as they swapped roles. He pinched Hyrule's nose until he was forced to open his mouth, then slowly poured the potion in, holding his mouth shut with his other hand once it was gone so Hyrule would have to swallow. As soon as he did, the bleeding lessened. His flesh began to knit itself back together. The cut on his leg disappeared entirely. The wound in his gut remained, but was far less severe now; something that would be easily stitched and bandaged.
But what the potion didn't do was replenish the blood lost. That would have to be done over time by Hyrule's body itself. It was a miracle that they managed to stop it before it was too late. But even Legend had a moment of panic when, finally relieved from the majority of the pain, Hyrule fell unconscious in Legend's arms. Yeah, he'd probably feel pretty shitty for a while. And there was no way he was using any magic for at least a few weeks, Legend would make sure of that.
But he was alive. They'd stopped the ritual just in time. And they got Future back in one piece as well, which was about as good an outcome as they could have hoped for, all things considered.  They were both so grounded for this, though…
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psychoticwillgraham · 4 months
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musings about my aroace identity under here
TW: discussion of rape
so. the ace part of my identity is really…. Weird to me bc I don’t actually understand it?? I’ll explain. am I sexually attracted to people? nope. not one bit. was I a massive whore for ten years? yeah, but it wasn’t of my own choice, my ex made that decision for me. said if I was gonna be with him then I HAD to be polyamorous and willing to have sex with any man that propositioned me and I was ordered to do so otherwise I’d get punished (which was tying my hands together and I made it explicitly clear to NEVER tie them bc then I’d be truly helpless and couldn’t fight back. he didn’t care.) did that ruin the act of sex for me from then till now? oh absolutely.
did I actually enjoy it? depends. i very rarely ever came, and if i did and was too oversensitive, they’d just keep going, so it was never enjoyable. the vast majority of men didn’t even know how to really give an afab person pleasure, so yknow, i had to fake it to make it. which i was way too good at and eventually convinced myself to get into it and come anyway, so I basically trained myself to ‘enjoy’ it. at this point, i don’t think that I’ll ever be able to have sex again, even if it wasn’t with a cis man, bc it just felt like a job, which it kinda was bc i had to do it to survive the abuse. it was just another way of performing honestly. if someone even tried to touch me with sexual intent now, I’d get triggered and have an emotional breakdown. so no, I don’t enjoy it.
my aromantic identity is fairly straightforward though. I’ve never felt like I could love anyone, even as a friend. there’s only one friend that I ‘love’ and it’s the one irl who hangs out with me sometimes. like I care about her very much, but I wouldn’t even say I ‘love’ her as a friend. bc I just don’t know what love feels like honestly. and I’ve never been ‘in’ love with someone, I just can’t comprehend it honestly. I just… don’t feel connected with humanity or the concept of it as a whole, yknow? I feel like I exist outside of that, like im just a Thing of my own, wholly unique and not connected to human beings. like im completely alone and an ‘other.’
that also feeds into my lack of identity and not knowing my own personality or who I am as a person at all, which DID also complicates. i feel like my entire life is just one big performance. like my personality is just whatever i need in order to exist with the general population. do i rlly know who or what i am? not in the least bit and i feel like im just drowning rn in the whole performance that is life. honestly? I don’t think there even is a person under all this. im just a gathering of ideas in a flesh prison and nothing more.
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tf2workbench · 7 months
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Phlogellation
"This is makin' me feel... really dirty." -my friend !!, on his seventh Phlogistinator kill this life
Regardless of how you feel about it, there's no denying the damage a Phlogistinator Pyro can do. A crit-boosted flamethrower, after all, does a lot of damage.
Phlogistinator (+) Build Mmmph by dealing fire damage [about 300 to fully build]. At full Mmmph, taunt to get an 8-second crit boost for this weapon. (+) Invulnerable and immune to knockback while Mmmph taunting (-) No random critical hits (-) No airblast
Speaking of how you feel about it, I happen to notice that the Phlog gets some flak. Hey, even from me sometimes. It can really sting to get rolled over by a critical flamethrower, and it hurts even more when the rest of my team gets caught in the same. What's to do?
Going on a Phlog rampage is a very high moment for the user, letting them make a massive, violent impact on the course of the game.
The necessary taunt animation gives several classes an easy way to counter the Phlog, such as by lining up a headshot or placing stickybombs near the taunting Pyro. This means you can't abuse the taunt as a get-out-of-jail-free card.
On the other hand, it can be hard for many classes to stop a Pyro from charging them once the taunt is complete, causing a feeling of helplessness.
This is compounded because even a little bit of critical fire does serious damage, meaning it's often impossible to get away from a Phlogistinator without getting hurt - if you survive at all.
If a Pyro activates their Mmmph behind a corner, it makes the taunt much easier to execute safely. Opponents may feel like they had no warning or ability to stop the Pyro from charging them.
This isn't an intentional design choice, but way the invulnerability works can also be a little buggy (link is a video about an exploit/dirty trick known as Phlog-cancelling), which can further frustrate those on the receiving end.
As an effect of having no airblast, the Phlog loses the complexity and nuance that come with that feature - although it has a good amount to offer in its own right.
What's to do? Well, I considered either of these two attributes:
(-) -20% movement speed while using Mmmph (-) -10 health per second while firing using Mmmph
I ultimately think that both of those don't really address the root problem and instead just punish the user. A more interesting solution would be changing it so that instead of crits, the Phlog grants mini-crits to the user and teammates in a radius, much like the Buff Banner.
This is less instantly fatal to the enemies, giving them a chance to fight back.
It encourages team play and can ultimately be more fulfilling than just killing.
On the other hand, it might be even more powerful than the current Phlog in terms of how it impacts the game. This might necessitate changes in other areas (such as effect duration or damage to charge).
It also kind of steps on the Buff Banner's toes a little.
One other thing that might be a helpful change would be changing the charge so that it only builds with flamethrower damage, or have it build with all damage done. Currently, it only builds with fire damage, meaning there's a strong incentive to choose flare guns over shotguns. Depending on how this works, it might also be worthwhile to reevaluate how much damage is required to charge it (noting that the Buff Banner requires 600 to charge).
So how do you feel? Would changing crits to radial mini-crits help the Phlog overall, or would the problem remain? Should I pursue a more aggressive change?
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felidthing · 2 years
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i feel like lightningheart is the type for people to completely misread as helpless and cutely tragic. theres a very real chance that his pain and struggles would get the spotlight in favor of applestrike's
lightningheart has trouble bonding with people due to an autism + cptsd combo. he tries to make friends but either doesnt really care about them or gets denied in the first place. but applepaw's budding reputation as a fighter kept him interested in her long enough to build actual feelings. the thing is he is desperate for affection and to feel like he belongs somewhere. he was happy to join skyclan, but never felt like a real member. he feels like he belongs when he's with applepaw. he leaves his clan and joins a dictatorship to stay close to her, to have any sense of stability. he and applepaw are unhealthily dependent on each other all the way through their apprenticeships and into adulthood. but applescar starts to grow into her own self, and lightningheart is "left behind." he cannot handle being left behind. he clings to applescar and their history and reverts back to his most desperate fearful state and in this moment is bad to applescar. but before either of them can start trying to balance out and repair the relationship, applescars father and brothers are killed and she has her massive breakdown that results in her getting sent away to windclan. its the first time the two of them have been separated since before lightningheart joined thunderclan. while lightningheart suffers and sinks into hopelessness and probably seriously considers leaving the clans altogether, applescar slowly becomes friends with cats in windclan. she gets very close with sagespeckle, who inspires her to choose her own warrior suffix. she realizes that being separated from lightningheart was good for her. that their relationship was part of the problem.
i am not sure how lightningheart takes all that yet. he definitely needs to have more "bad" before he can change hsi mind/attitude though, since almost all the fpcus on this piece of plot is on applescar in windclan. but to circle back to the original point of thsi post: lightningheart is by no means a bad person, he never was and he never will be. he has done selfish things for sure, but he's never been intended as an antagonist of any kind. he just isnt cute and nice all the time.
(just to throw out some opinionated advice: if a friend/etc is hinging their entire mental/emotional stability on you, its a big problem.)
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queerprayers · 2 years
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how are we supposed to deal with how antisemitism is kind of… everywhere in Christianity?
Thank you for being patient as I figure out where to even start with answering this! I'm a Lutheran. This is a really hard question, and something that I have to deal with. What our ancestors did is not our fault, but it is our responsibility.
My first answer is that I don't know. I don't know what to do when so many people I call my siblings are full of hate. I often feel helpless. But I promise I'm not stopping there.
My second answer is we have three options that I can see: (1) ignore the issue and let antisemitism fester, (2) abandon Christianity as outdated, offensive, or irredeemable, or (3) put in the work to transform ourselves and our institutions. The first two are easier, and the second especially can be tempting. But I hope to devote my life to the third, and that's the perspective I'll be coming from today.
I do want to make clear that I am (clearly) not Jewish and also don't consider myself particularly knowledgeable about Judaism. I read a lot and interact with Jewish people online, but I don't feel this qualifies me to answer this question in any mind-blowing or unique way. I will, however, share my own advice and opinions, and you can decide how much you want to value them.
This is from a Christian perspective, for other Christians (and culturally Christian-ish people). And as always, I'm a white American Gentile. I welcome other perspectives/criticism.
Here are some things that you (my followers) can actually do and learn to acknowledge and combat antisemitism in Christianity. None of this is a solution, but I hope it's something. I'll include some resources at the end. (All of it is easier said than done. But saying it is the first step.)
Acknowledge and learn about the problem. I assume most of you reading this will have realized that our religion, structurally/historically, has condoned massive amounts of sh*t. Any exploration into Christian history has to confront this. Practically every oppressed group in America knows this intimately. In terms of antisemitism, please understand right now that the problem is more of an issue than you thought. However bad you think it is, it's worse. Please immediately burn into your brain that antisemitism is, as the asker said, everywhere in Christianity. Just like white people have internalized racism, even if they're not being purposely racist, Gentiles have internalized antisemitism, even if you don't realize it. Look for it, inside yourself and around you. Call it out. Learn the dogwhistles.
Actually learn about Judaism. If you didn't convert from Judaism/come from a Jewish family, probably just go in assuming you know nothing. Forget what Christian leaders/experts have said, and probably forget what you learned in high school. Build your knowledge of modern Judaism from scratch—this will help you not hold onto myths/prejudices you probably carry. PLEASE remember that first-century Judaism is completely different from modern Judaism. No matter how much you study the Bible, you will not know modern Judaism. Please follow/listen to modern Jewish people.
Your God is Jewish; your religion is not. This is a precarious position. Christianity is an offshoot or appropriation of Judaism, depending who you ask. There is no easy box to put this situation in. Examine that tension; have discussions about it. There is no solution I or anyone else has found so far in history. There are only questions, and trying our best, and approaching with love. PLEASE don't use Jesus being Jewish as "proof" you're not antisemitic.
Stop identifying with Judaism/assuming you know anything about it/assuming Christian interpretation is the same/saying "Judeo-Christian." Obviously if you are interested in converting to, or have converted from Judaism, or are culturally Jewish, that's a different story. But generally, if you are a Christian, you are not Jewish. Research and discussion is welcome. Relating to/agreeing with/valuing interpretation is also welcome. But identification/assumption of authority is not.
Judaism is not "Christianity without Jesus." It never was. It's a completely different philosophy/theology on its own. Stop acting like Jewish people are missing something. Judaism is not outdated or there as a message for Christians, and Jewish people are not waiting around to be converted. They have found God. If you have a problem with that, you apparently haven't.
The Hebrew Bible is a collection of Jewish writings that exists as a text, as one part. And in Jewish interpretation, it is not the complement to the New Testament—stop assuming it is. I personally don't call it the Old Testament anymore—Jewish people did not painstakingly save and translate their holy manuscripts for centuries just for us to rename them. It's the Hebrew Bible or the Tanakh, and the first five books are the Torah. The books of the Hebrew Bible are not ours, but we believe they are the truth. Everyone is free to have their own interpretation of them, but Jewish people have authority, because it is their story to tell. Read Jewish interpretations/translations of their texts. Especially if you grew up Christian/have only interacted with the Bible from a Christian perspective—it will change everything.
Recognize the places in the New Testament and its translations that generalize the Jewish people and put those verses in historical context and/or call them out. No, "the Jews" did not kill Jesus. This is a dangerous way to translate the text and has led to violence. The Gospels tell the story of a Jewish man who made himself a lot of enemies, mostly within his own community. The story is of a specific time period and from a specific perspective. The ways the narrative has been twisted and misunderstood is part of the Christian legacy and must be admitted to, discussed, and repented of.
Stop celebrating Jewish holidays. Yes, Jesus celebrated Passover. No, that doesn't mean you can. Unless you are invited to a Jewish household/community to celebrate with them, you have no business holding seders, etc. if you're not Jewish.
Stop calling yourself a Messianic Jew. You're just a Christian. If you think Jesus is the Messiah, you are a Christian. (Obviously you could still be culturally/ethnically Jewish, because Judaism is not just a religion. I'm not here to tell Jewish people what to do. I'm here to stop Christians from "getting in touch with the Jewish origins of their faith" or whatever and then just appropriating Jewish festivals.)
Hold on to the beautiful, loving parts of our religion. It is so easy to give up, to throw it all away. And I have nothing but respect for those who have done that. I understand completely. It's easier to distance yourself from an institution that has done harm than to try to fix it. It's even better in some cases. But I'm here because I have a deep, kind of unexplainable faith in Jesus, and no matter how many people take God's name in vain, for themselves or their class/privilege, I will not abandon the faith that taught me to love. If you similarly are holding on to Christianity, pay attention to what you're holding on to. What pieces should we let go? What do we crush under our feet and what do we lift up? It's so easy to let this journey lead you to negativity and resignation. Imperfect people in an imperfect religion, oppressed turned oppressors. We betray our creed at the drop of a hat. But that is not the end of the story. That's the point of the gospels! The darkness is not the end, the tomb is not the end, the abandonment and betrayal and hopelessness is not the end. The story ends with love and with reunification. Hold on to that, more than any institution.
Repent. Christians are descendants of an awful evil: the sin of abandoning God's people, persecuting and murdering them, disrespecting their beliefs and texts. Yes, ask God for forgiveness and pray for peace, but also show your repentance in the world, to and for Jewish people. (See next paragraph.)
Actually support Jewish people. Donate. Listen. Protest. No matter how much you theoretically support Jewish people, no one can tell unless you do something about it. Faith without works is dead, my beloveds.
Okay, this is what I have in my brain right now and it's 3 a.m. so, asker: thank you for asking, I absolutely did not do the issue justice (but then, has anyone?), and I hope I have given you at least a part of the answer you were looking for. Here are some resources:
Articles/Posts:
Please at least read the Wikipedia page on this issue.
So You Want to Fight Against Antisemitism (cw: swearing)
"What's the difference between Christianity and Judaism?"
Some perspectives on Messianic Judaism: He's not a rabbi, and it's not Judaism, Jewish groups slam "disappointing" decision to have Messianic Jewish leader at Pence rally, Jewish leaders call Messianic Judaism a fraud
Who are “the Jews” in John?
Holy Week and the hatred of the Jews
Judaism and Christianity Both Rely on the Hebrew Bible. Why Do They Interpret It So Differently?
Christian Persecution of Jews over the Centuries
Websites/Publications
Jewish-Christian Relations.net
Christian-Jewish Relations Library @ Boston College
Dialogika—CCJR Resource Library
Judaism 101
My Jewish Learning
The Torah.com
Sefaria—Jewish text library
Books/Authors
Antisemitism in the New Testament / Lillian C. Freudmann
Jesus Wasn’t Killed by the Jews: Reflections for Christians in Lent / ed. Jon M. Sweeney
Christians & Jews—Faith to Faith: Tragic History, Promising Present, Fragile Future / James Rudin
Essential Judaism: A Complete Guide to Beliefs, Customs and Rituals / George Robinson
The Jewish Study Bible: Jewish Publication Society Tanakh Translation
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (her Twitter is a gift!!)
Amy-Jill Levine
Lois Tverberg
Brant Pitre
Robert Alter
Richard Elliott Friedman
With the help of God: may we be forgiven, may we take responsibility, may we not abandon our faith, may we have the energy and capacity to care. Let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. Let Jesus, a Jewish Palestinian murdered by the state, guide our words and actions.
<3 Johanna
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dixbolik-lovers · 2 years
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(Sub au) How would the Mukamis react if one of them (maybe Kou or Ruki?) was completely mindbroken and in love with the reader
Ruki (Kou)
It worries him massively. As someone who's extremely protective of his younger brothers and determined to keep them safe, seeing Kou in such a state is absolutely infuriating. If he didn't think it would break Kou to an even greater degree, Ruki would intervene and remove you from his brother's life immediately. But even so, he can't tolerate standing by and watching you do such disturbing things to his family. Ruki tries to talk you (or threaten you) into changing your behavior, but it's a desperate, last-ditch attempt.
Kou (Ruki)
Seeing Ruki, of all people, in a state of utter, broken dependency on someone terrifies Kou like nothing else ever has. He thought that all of them were finally away from being the helpless ones— that they'd have power over any human now. That's been proven completely wrong, and it messes with Kou's worldview in the worst of ways. If even his forever-in-control big brother can be torn down to such a level, what could happen to him? Kou avoids you as much as possible out of fear and a feeling of guilt.
Yuuma (Kou)
Nope, nope, nope. Unless someone stops him, Yuuma might actually try to kill you. He doesn't think about how it could affect Kou— all that's in his mind is that the person who's hurting his brother needs to be stopped. However, when he's forced to stay calm and see the true depth of the situation, it scares him a lot more than he wants to admit. Yuuma is frustrated and furious that he can't do anything to make Kou go back to normal, but he's also shamefully worried about what you could do to the rest of them.
Azusa (Ruki)
For a while, Azusa is just confused. Even though Ruki is acting weird, he loves you, right? It takes a while for the reality of what's happening to really sink in, but when it does, Azusa is painfully worried. He's going to volunteer himself to you instead. He's always been good for being hurt, so if you'll be cruel to him instead, Ruki might get better. Seeing his capable big brother broken and mindless scares Azusa horribly. All he wants is to make things go back to normal— and make Ruki okay again.
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chasing-classics · 3 years
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Our Little Secret Sessions- Nate Jacobs x Reader (2)
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Pairing(s): Nate Jacobs x Reader
  Warning(s): SMUT, language, toxic relationships, older reader, NON-CON
  Summary: After landing a job as the high school’s new counselor you settle into your new home, unaware of what danger lurks just outside your front door. In Part Two, you meet another one of your students, only to be interrupted by the boy next door.
Part 1
 A couple of weeks had passed since your encounter with Nate, but the fear of what the teenage was capable of remained fresh in your mind. You could never forget the dominant, controlling look in his eyes when he had threatened you in your office. Since then, you had been unable to sleep properly and you found yourself constantly looking over your shoulder. On the bright side, you had not encountered him face-to-face since that day, but his presence could always be felt never too far away. He was like some sort of predator, a beast lurking in a dense jungle. Eyes sharp and ready to go in for the kill at any moment.
 ‘’Um miss?’’ a voice broke you out of your thoughts.
 You quickly snapped your head up, sitting straight up in your office chair as a young girl stood in the doorway. She was average height for her age, dark hair, glamorous makeup, and full lips. You had seen her walking down the hall a few times, an air of confidence always surrounding her. She reminded you of the girls you hated when you were in high school.
  ‘’I’m so sorry, please come in,’’ you extended your hand, gesturing to one of the empty chairs or the couch in front of your desk. She nodded, shutting the door behind her as she made herself comfortable.
 ‘’I’m sorry, I’m still getting used to everything here. I’m Miss y/l/n,’’ you held out your hand for her to shake. She looked down at it before slowly returning the gesture. Whether she just wasn’t used to people being polite to her or she just didn’t like you, you weren’t sure.
 ‘’Maddy,’’ she replied, her expression unreadable.
 ‘’Well how can I help you Maddy?’’ you offered a kind smile despite her semi-cold attitude.
 Her eyes flickered, searching for the right words to express her thoughts. Your brow furrowed as she visibly struggled.
 ‘’This is a safe place Maddy, whatever you tell me stays between us,’’ you encouraged.
 She bit down on her lip, hands twisting and fumbling in her lap as her leg bounced. Finally, she met your concerned gaze with a sigh.
 ‘’Do you think sexuality is a spectrum?’’ she blurted out.
  The question took you back, it taking everything in your for your mouth to stay shut.
  ‘’Well, in my opinion it certainly can be. There doesn’t necessarily have to be a one-size-fits-all or black and white approach to it. But I really think it depends on you and your preferences-‘’
 ‘’N-no. Not me,’’ she cut you off, still seemingly nervous. You arched a brow, trying to decipher what she was talking about.
 ‘’Is everything ok, Maddy?’’
  ‘’Look there’s this. . .guy who I’m seeing. And I found-‘’
 Knocking on your door made the two of you jump. A lump formed in your throat when the handle twisted and the door opened, revealing none other than Nate fucking Jacobs.
 You quickly cast a glance at Maddy who, for some reason or another, looked almost as petrified as you felt.
 ‘’Oh sorry Miss y/l/n, I didn’t know you were busy,’’ Nate practically hissed out the last word as his gaze fell upon Maddy.
  ‘’Mister Jacobs, I’m with Maddy right now. If you’d like we can schedule a meeting-‘’
 ‘’No! No, it’s ok, miss. I’ll be late for class anyway,’’ Maddy scrambled to collect her bag and rush out the door.
 ‘’I can write you a hallpass,’’ your words jumbled, practically pleading with the girl to stay so that you were not left alone with this sociopath. The smirk on Nate’s face made your blood run cold.
 Maddy murmured a quick ‘’bye’’ before the door shut closed behind Nate’s lanky figure. He scoffed, steadily turning his attention back to you as you shakily stood.
 ‘’You can’t just show up like that. I have a job to do and anyone could-‘’
 ‘’Take your pants off,’’ he abruptly interrupted you.
 A pitiful squeak, similar to that of a puny mouse cornered in a snake pit, escaped your lips as the air left your lungs.
 ‘’What?’’ you felt your heart began to beat faster as Nate took a step towards you after locking your door, sealing your fate.
 ‘’I said, take your pants off. And bend over your desk,’’ his deep voice shook you to your core.
 ‘’Nate, please,’’ you whispered, trying to sum up as much courage and dominance as you could as you stood straight and met his terrifying gaze.
 He didn’t respond as his hands descended on you. One locked itself onto the back of your neck and played with your hair as the other began to roughly grope your breasts through your flimsy shirt. His mouth pressed rough, hearted kissed onto the column of your neck as his breath fanned hot flames onto your soft skin. You felt paralyzed as his grip tightened, you having to bite your lips from crying out.
 You jumped when his large hand made its’ way underneath your shirt and the material of your bra. He easily captured a nipple between his index and middle finger and began to pinch and squeeze and tug on the sensitive bud, expertly rolling it however way he sought fit.
  ‘’L-leave,’’ you whispered. Half of you was praying and the other was making a rather pathetic attempt to reestablish authority over him.
 ‘’If I walk out that door, everyone will know how you slept with a student,’’ he threatened, biting at the soft juncture between your neck and shoulder, making you hiss in pain.
 ‘’I didn’t know!’’ you whimpered, cursing the way your body reacted to both his touch and his voice.
 Your nipples were overstimulated at this point, any rubbing against your bra or touch from Nate’s fingers had you mewling like a helpless kitten. Your knees locked together as you felt the heat expand downward from your arousal.
  ‘’The sooner you give in, the sooner I leave. The less chance you have of someone catching us,’’ he groaned, grinding his thickness into your lower abdomen so you felt what was awaiting you.
  You let out a shaky breath, nodding slowly as you nervously fumbled with your jeans. Nate all but growled when he saw the delicate lace material that hid your womanhood. His breathing labored and his cock twitched. Since he had last had you he had messed around with Maddy a few times, trying to placate his urges, trying to forget about his attractive new neighbor and school counselor. But something about you, the way you were allured him to you. He found himself craving you, imagining your cries and moans as he thrusted wildly into Maddy. He found himself becoming rougher at the thought of having you once again, all to himself. His little taboo. Today, he found he couldn’t wait any longer and found himself at your office door, ready to continue your secret little sessions.
 By the time your jeans had pooled around your ankles and your underwear shortly followed, your boots providing you with a little more height than usual, Nate grew tired of waiting. He shoved your paperwork, cleverly unhooking your phone in case anyone called, and shoved you down by your neck so that your body was painfully bent over the unforgiving surface.
 Your cheek pressed against the wood of the desk, your eyes searching for anything to focus on as you tried to block out the jingling of his belt and the sound of his zipper being pulled down. You felt the heat of his cock at your entrance as Nate folded himself onto you, his breath hitting your cheek and neck as his toned abs gently grazed your spine and ass.
 ‘’Be quiet,’’ he warned, one massive hand wrapping around your face to cover your mouth. You winced as he spit down onto your spread pussy, using his thumb as makeshift lubricate. He hummed in approval at the feel of your arousal and you didn’t need to face him to know he had a chesire cat grin on his pale face. You could feel him retreat his hips before he lunged forward and sheathed his massive dick into your tight canal. You screamed against his hand, although it was practically just muffled mewls given his tight grip as he began rotating his hips, stretching your tightness to welcome whatever he was about to give you.
 ‘’Shhhh, good girl, look at you taking it like a champ,’’ he mocked as he reluctantly pulled out, only to violently snap forward, your body lunging with his brutal movements.
 Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you were ashamed to admit they were in pleasure. The feeling of complete fulness outweighed the pain, but you made a pitiful attempt to reach behind you and shove him back. You yelped as his other hand locked your wrists and pinned them to the small of your back, your body helpless and completely on display as Nate continued his brutal pace. He felt every quiver, every squeeze that your sweet pussy gave him. He nearly came within the first few minutes of being inside of you, but he managed to hold off. The way you squealed under him, your smaller body rocking in tune with his thrusts, and the way your tight pink pussy latched onto him to the point he dragged your body back as he pulled out was nothing that he had ever had before. He pressed more of his weight into you, trying to keep his own grunts and moans quiet as he gripped your face and wrists.
 ‘’So good,’’ he kept repeating in your neck as he hammered into you. The wet noises and sound of his hips violently meeting your backside filled you with fear that someone would come in and catch you. Your squealing and cries slowly transformed into needy moans and whimpers, you faintly acknowledged your juices beginning to drip down your inner thighs and you felt your insides begin to coil.
 ‘’N-Nate,’’ you breathlessly cried against his palm, attempting to suck in as much air through your nose as you could. He bite down on your shoulder, tongue lapping at the faint angry marks, groaning as his pace did not let out. He was impossibly thick and girthy, filling you and hitting your cervix with every ram of his hips. Your hands twitched and knees buckled as his cock began throbbing along your velvet walls. You couldn’t help but squeeze him as your own climax began to form, causing him to hiss against your shoulder.
  ‘’Gonna fill you up, oh fuck,’’ you faintly deciphered him growling out as you were forced to take his thrusts.
 Your clit throbbed almost painfully, knuckles turning lighter as your fists clenched against your back. He abruptly released your wrists, opting to clutch the curve of your hip as he forced your body back to meet his awaiting thrusts, making you cry out every time he angrily entered you. As you cried out with each thrust, he groaned, feeling your release incredibly close. He angled his hips slightly higher and dove in, grinning as he heard your moans, your pussy locking onto his dick as your orgasm coated him. He slowed his pace just to watch the way he glistened from your juices, enjoying the sinful squelching noises you both produced as he shoved himself repeatedly into you, before regaining his violent momentum.
 His grip on you tightened impossibly as you lay limp underneath him, lost in the waves of your release. All you felt was your body being forced back and forth as Nate impaled you onto his angry member. You swore you saw actual stars bouncing around your vision before you were forced back down into reality as he removed his hand from your mouth (finally) and gripped your throat. Through his animalistic movements he angled your face back to meet his in a bruising, possessive kiss as he ensured every inch of him was buried to the hilt inside of you as he shuddered. You groaned as the warmth of his cum filled your abused pussy. He moved against you one last time before slowly pulling you out and stuffing himself back into his jeans and zipping it back up. You winced when you felt a finger trace your lower lips and shove some of his load back into your sore pussy.
 ‘’Get dressed,’’ his voice conveyed his relaxation and his gaze was surprising soft as he helped you stand up.
 You didn’t speak as you redressed, your face still flushed with a postcoital glow. He tucked some of your hair out of your face as his eyes searched yours, his thoughts unreadable. But just as his expression lingered on borderline affection, that cruel teenage-boy smirk reappeared as his hand thumbed the base of your neck in a warning grip.
 ‘’I’m going to need that hall pass.’’
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whispersofmercury · 4 years
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🖤Moon - Pluto Aspects🔪
🖤Dives deeply into their feelings
🔪Their emotions are INTENSE and often feel all consuming
🖤fear is usually heightened and they may have strong anxiety or fear of loss, control or death
🔪They might experience emotional addiction (to others emotions or their own)
🖤Often need time to digest what they’re actually feeling and might have a hard time communicating to others what they’re feeling
🔪Might feel the need to control their emotions, wether this means repressing the or keeping a lid on them or controlling how others see them
🖤Might have an extreme fear of loss, change or the unknown (although it might show up in subtle ways)
🔪Usually they have a core need to feel safe, and to feel safe some sort of massive emotional deconstruction or reconstruction usually has to occur (not the easiest cycle)
🖤Often their home life is intense and they need space away from it (sadly a lot of people I know with this aspect have abusive families, but not all moon-Pluto people will)
🔪Those with the hard aspects (conjunction, square, opposition) might feel intruded upon or invaded especially by their family
🖤These people like to get to the root of why they feel the way they do, they want to eradicate the feeling at the source
🔪Are known for ‘killing’ their feelings and might appear cold to others
🖤However feelings aren’t usually killed, but more buried until they reappear later in a burst that can be destructive
🔪Their families might have a skeleton or a secret in their cupboard, some sort of trauma or violation or other messy situation, but again depends on the person
🖤These people are often charged with carrying their family’s secret and to heal them
🔪Can act as a sponge, soaking in any negativity or unexpressed feelings around them (they can easily get drained by being near people)
🖤Whenever there’s a crisis around them, even if it has nothing to do with them, they’ll usually somehow manage to get involved in it (they can smell trauma a mile away)
🔪Usually they are her strong and perceptive people, even if they aren’t vocal on what they observe. Others turn to them for advice especially in hard times
🖤Nothing ever really seems to shock them, they have seen, and more so felt it, all before
🔪Great at providing and safe space for people to express their emotions, can become amazing therapists
🖤Sadly they often attract unhealthy relationships. Relationships that are emotionally intense and dramatic
🔪Also seem to attract who are at polar opposites of the emotional scale, with the conjunction they might find someone who’s very emotionally repressed, who keeps their emotional world hidden or with the other aspects usually someone who feels helpless to their emotions, who’s controlled by their intense emotional swings
🖤They might also choose dramatic partners who can act out the Plutonian emotions that they are not comfortable with expressing yet
🔪On a side note they also tend to just find people who are opposite to them
🖤They often crave intense emotional interaction, and their personal life isn’t usually tranquil for long
🔪They are full of dark, seething undercurrents that can erupt at any minute
🖤They like to keep the details of their personal and domestic life to themselves, and not in public view. They might feel like there’s no need to trust the others with their feelings and secrets
🔪Many come from a background where it wasn’t safe to expose/express ones feelings. They might be used for manipulation, control or blackmail
🖤While they are amazing at detecting things like manipulation, control and blackmail they may use them consciously or unconsciously as well
🔪They might be obsessed with their mother in some way, or wanting to be a mother. Or their mother might be obsessed with them
🖤Mother figure might be controlling and over protective. She might over mother or invade the child’s space, allowing no hiding place, no secrets, no privacy
🔪The conjunction might signal that they won’t be accepted by their family, or that they need to leave their family/community to be authentically themselves
🖤Very in-tune with their subconscious and their primal feelings, and their subcnious is often VERY strong
🔪They might crash into or invade others feelings or be very frightened of doing so
🖤Might have an obsession with motives, what their motives are and what others motives are
🔪 A general philosophy they might have is “if I know the person thourougly, including their weaknesses, then they cannot hurt me, because I hold the power”
🖤They might have power struggles come up again and again in their relationships
🔪Can be very possessive
🖤Might be constantly told they are too sensitive, obsessive, emotional or serious
🔪Very resilient people with willpower of steel and often can uplift others
🖤The most difficult lesson they may need to learn is to let go of their feelings. They may have the urge to purge their destructive emotions like rage, hurt, suspicion and jealousy but their fear of letting go is often stronger
🔪Moon-Pluto people are Intense. Their emotions, home environment and the people that surround them can lead them to be controlling, manipulative and anxious people. However, because of their experience with the darker side of life they tend to be resilient and inspiring, and at their best they can squeeze out depth from every experience. They make powerful,impactful and loyal friends and partners🖤
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nashibirne · 3 years
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LUNCH MEAT
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I'm still on holiday but I had to take a forced break from hiking due to some problems with my foot. Anyway...I decided to make the most of it and wrote another little Trucker!Sy one-shot. It was inspired by some silly banter between me and hubs the other day and I hope you're gonna enjoy this new adventure of Trucker!Sy and his girlfriend. It would be great if you let me know what you think and leave me a comment, like or reblog. Thanks! 💜
Pairing: Syverson x reader (f)
Word count: 2 k
Summary: Sy and his woman and an early lunch...
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, PWP, smut, oral sex (f and m receiving), tiny dose of deep throat, mentioning of degradation / dom-sub dynamics, female masturbation, language, silly innuendos
Unbeta'ed. English isn't my first language. Mistakes ahead and they're all mine.
Credits: I don't own Captain Syverson, pics for the moodboard from Pinterest.
Find my other fics and the first two Trucker!Sy one-shots on my masterlist!
Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed):
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Here we go:
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"I'm hungry." I look at Sy with a pout.
We decided to change some of our habits and establish a healthier lifestyle a few days ago. We've spent most of our nights with take away food, netflix and sex lately, which is great but we both feel like we're getting a little lazy and out of shape so we agreed on making some changes. I pleaded for just adjusting our eating habits, less pizza and burgers, more salad, vegetables and other healthy stuff but Sy insisted on adding sports to our daily schedule.
So he made me get up early today for a run - on a sunday! He took me to a beautiful lake, a secluded spot I've never heard of before, although it's just an one-hour-drive away, and once we got there we ran along the shore around the lake, which left me pretty exhausted and against all my predictions and my mocking beforehand I have to admit my hot trucker boyfriend wasn't half as drained as I was when we arrived at my car again. He's not only buff from going to the gym but apparently very fit too. I mean, I know his stamina but I'm still surprised that I was hardly able to keep up with him. I tried to distract him during our run, of course I did, pointing out that we're all alone at the early hour, that no one is around, trying to make him stop for a hot make out session in the woods or even a little quickie, but no, my arts of seduction were wasted on Sy, he just shook his head with a playful grin and a strict glance, giving my butt a little slap to make me run a little faster.
So now that we're back home, I'm starving, craving some good food and chill out time on the couch. "I mean it, Tom. I need food." He laughs and the warm, deep rumbling sound makes me smile. He pulls me close and gives me a sweet, little kiss. "Sure, babe. Let's have an early lunch. Salad and sandwiches?" "Sounds great. I prepare the salad and you make the sandwiches?" He nods and we start to work silently side by side in my kitchen, that's actually a little too small for two people but we're used to it and as usual...Sy makes it fit.
It's unavoidable that our bodies touch in the tiny space. When Sy reaches for the plates in the board above my head, his side presses against mine and I can smell his fresh, woodsy scent, this warm mix of sandalwood with a hint of bourbon, that comes from the beard and body soap he uses. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly and he gives me a big smile, knowing that I love his fresh-out-of-the-shower-smell. I'm rinsing the lettuce and Sy turns on the radio, humming along to the country song that's playing while he spreads mayo on some slices of bread.
"What do you want on your sandwich, darling?" Sy asks.
"I don't know…" I turn to him with an innocent smile, my hands on my hips, pretending to think about his question. "I'm craving something tasty, substantial, I guess. What about a good piece of lunch meat? Something real, that leaves me completely stuffed."
I grin and turn away and I can easily picture the smirk that is spreading on Sy's handsome face. He loves some good banter and it may sound funny but it's often some kind of foreplay for us. After draining off the lettuce and putting it into a big, wooden bowl, I chop some bell peppers and some tomatoes.
"I need the cucumber." I point at the vegetable that is lying out of reach beside the loaf of fresh white bread that Sy is using for the sandwiches. He grins at me.
"You want the cucumber? That long, thick, snakelike thing?" He raises his eyebrows and does a tiny hip roll. I laugh at his very obvious innuendo and I can't help but find this silly, dorky way of flirting irresistibly sexy. The playful, funny, sometimes a little clumsy side of this hulk of a man, who's usually so confident and skillful, is my weakness. He gets me with being an awkward clown every time. I admit it here and now, I have a soft spot for my big, strong man being a boyish goofball from time to time.
"Yes, please. I need it for the salad." I flash him a smile and he grabs his dick through his sweatpants. "Sure you don't want my cucumber?" Another silly grin that makes me laugh and slap his arm playfully. "I want something to eat." I say, trying to grab the cucumber from his raised hand.
I come closer to him than necessary, pressing my body against his, making him feel my tits and my nipples that harden under my top as soon as they get in contact with the soft fabric of his shirt, that hides his broad, hairy chest. He gives me a wink and the cucumber before grabbing me by the waist.  "So do I, babe. So do I."
Sy licks his upper lip and his hands wander to my ass, giving it a squeeze. "I'm hungry…" He bends down and lowers his mouth to my ear. "Hungry for you. I want to eat you out." A shiver runs down my spine and a little gasp of anticipation leaves my mouth. I place the cucumber on the kitchen counter and wrap my arms around his neck.
"And what about me? What will you feed me?" 
"If you let me eat your pussy and cum like a good girl, I'm gonna stuff this pretty, little mouth with my dick. How about that?"
His eyes are tinted dark now, showing his arousal and pure, burning desire. Instead of an answer I kiss him, telling him that I agree wordlessly, showing him my love and devotion by using my mouth and my tongue. Sy kisses me back with passion, deepening the kiss, increasing my arousal until my moans get louder and my sex is all wet. He pulls away with a feral grin and undresses me quickly, wasting no time, before he lifts me up just to put me down on the counter before he slowly undresses himself.
His big cock is already hard and I can't help but stare at it with hungry eyes. He takes it in his fist and gives it a few strokes. He knows exactly what a great turn on it is for me to watch him touch himself and so I'm not surprised to see his lips curl up. His smile is sexy, he loves to tease me like this.
"You want that beast?" He doesn't wait for my answer, he just grabs my ankles and pulls me to the edge of the counter. He kneels on the floor and places my thighs on his shoulders, grabbing my tits to knead and caress them while giving me pleasure. He starts with little licks, teasing me, making me beg and whimper, enjoying my helpless, needy little moans and sighs. When he finally eats me out, when he sucks and licks and kisses my pussy, when his tongue circles around my clit, giving it a sexy massage, I don't last long. My orgasm is powerfull and intense and when I cum I whisper his name, my whole body going stiff before the tension disappears and is replaced by this indescribable sensation of warmth and satisfaction.
I look at him and he raises to his feet. "My turn." I say with a smirk. I give Sy a shove and when his back is pressed against the wall I kiss him feverishly, running my hands over his body. I pinch his nipples to make him moan, I know it's going to work because he loves this kind of pain. I grab his dick tightly and I start to jerk him off slowly, just the way I know he likes it best. I want him on the edge of arousal before I suck him off, I want him to beg, I want him enslaved by my touch, weak-willed, putty in my hands. Sy curses when I go on, rubbing my body against his.
"Fuck, babe...yeah…" I take his balls in one hand and squeeze them, never stopping the hand job. His moans are getting louder, the longing in his voice is music to my ears. Sy closes his eyes now, resting his head against the wall.
"Babe...please…" He's out of breath and I know exactly what he wants but I need to hear it.
"Please what?"
"Suck my dick." His whispered answer is such a turn on, my pussy is throbbing as if I didn't have a fantastic orgasm just minutes ago.
"You promised to stuff my mouth with your huge cock." I drop to my knees and look up at him, my lips slightly parted.
"And I will," Sy growls in a low voice. "I'm gonna fill you up, babe." He takes my head in his big hands and guides it towards his crotch. He grabs his dick and shoves it in my mouth. I moan when my lips close around him. "Deeper?" I nod and he pushes a little harder but stops when he feels that I've reached my limit and now I can finally start to give him the blow job.
I love it, love how much power it gives me while at the same time I enjoy the feeling of degradation. I wanna be his whore and I wanna be his master. I want him to dominate me and I want him to be needy, greedy, depending on me. I use my mouth on the tip of his massive member and my hand on his shaft and I know he's already close. His moans turn into heavy panting, his hands tug at my hair, his hips thrust carefully, giving him the feeling of mouthfucking me though I'm in control.
"Touch yourself. I want you to cum when I spill my load in your mouth." His voice is so rough and deep it makes me shiver. I obey without hesitation because I really need to come again. I'm literally dripping with arousal and so I pleasure myself. I have this picture of us in my mind, his dick between my swollen lips, how I give him head, a sweaty, obedient mess, how much he wants to come in my mouth, all while I finger my wet pussy. When I stimulate my clit I get closer and closer.
"You're there, darling? I can't hold back any longer…." I nod and I hear him cry out loud.
"FUCK!" 
Sy grabs my head again, fucking my mouth with full force while he cums. His dick slides down my throat and I have to gag although I enjoy the sensation of his cock balls-deep in my mouth. When I climax, it's even harder than the first time and I feel like exploding into millions of stars. I swallow his seed before he pulls out slowly.
He drops to his knees too and kisses me long and deep, his hands cupping my face tenderly. We both collapse on the ground and just lay there for a while, on the checkered vinyl flooring in my tiny kitchen, holding hands, looking at each other lovingly.
"Guess that's enough sports for today, baby?" I grin at him and Sy laughs out loud. "Yeah, I could get used to that kind of cardio, though." He smirks and I kiss him. "And now do me a favor, Sy and order a pizza. That lunch meat was delicious, but I'm still starving."
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