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theonceoverthinker · 3 years

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500. As this daily series of mine comes to an end, I just want to reflect on all the MARRY time writing Fair Game HCs has brought me!

I’m freezing up as I’m trying to write even just this intro. I don’t feel ready. After a year and a half, how can I feel anything else? This series is now a part of me and ending it is like losing a piece of my soul. I have so many emotions -- too many emotions -- it doesn’t feel wrong to end the series here (The 500 milestone makes sense), but it hurts all the same.

Let me start with thank you to everyone whose read these. Seriously, I know I thank you occasionally, but I can’t do it enough. Knowing that there are people interested in what I write and think about these two and enjoy the happier life I’m paining them in the absence of canon just makes me feel so much less alone than usual. It means the world to me so please believe me when I say that I wouldn’t have gotten to 500 without each and every one of you, whether you were here from the beginning or just joined in whenever.

I’m so happy to have finally reached this moment, but simultaneously so torn up about what that means.

Will I never do another Fair Game HC again? HECK NO! While the regular daily episodes are ending, if I find another topic that I want to Fair Game-i-fy, I will definitely make more episodes, and hopefully, before long, I will! I just need to take a break from the daily updates. I’ve hit burnout several times over the past year and a half and it’s not fun, so while I still have some energy to spare, I want to end the daily series on a high note!

Also, forgive me because I’m gonna cheat this as a submission for @fairgameweek2021 while I’m at it (If it’s not cool, then my apologies). The theme today is Charms/Dreams and while neither of these come up in the HC itself, this wedding and this series as a whole I think acts as a reflection of the dreams much of the Fair Game fandom had for this ship.

When I say this, I don’t mean it in the sense of I’d be upset if not each and every one of these didn’t come true -- that’s never been what my love for Fair Game was about, nor that each and every Fair Game fan subscribes to these HCs (Good GOD, no -- not even close). Like many fans, I just wanted these two characters who deserved happiness (Especially Qrow given his almost unreal amount of trauma and hardships) and seemed like they’d finally found it with each other to get exactly that. So in the absence of canon, I hope people were able to take solace in this space and live in the daydreams I created for them here.

So here we are at long last: The Fair Game Wedding. If you want to follow the story thus far, you can check out my HC compilation page. I’ve highlighted all of the wedding HCs in green, and have fully caught up the HC list!

That said, if you don’t feel like reading all of them and just want to check out this last one, here’s the tldr for what you need to know: The wedding is taking place in the Amity communications tower (This HC series only follows canon until 7X11 for those who didn’t know because I only choose to acknowledge good writing (especially for Qrow and Clover) here), Tai is Qrow’s Best Man, Marrow is Clover’s Best Man, Robyn is officiating, Ruby’s walking Qrow down the aisle, Yang’s walking Clover down the aisle, Clover got Qrow a silver ring with four tiny encrusted emeralds, Qrow got Clover a dark ring with four tiny encrusted rubies, Qrow’s wearing an onyx tux with a white undershirt and a crimson bowtie and handkerchief, and Clover’s wearing a black tux with a white undershirt and a dark green bowtie and handkerchief.

Okay! We’re good to go!

Well, for the last regularly-scheduled time, let’s get to it!

HC under the cut!

“Uncle Qrow! Help! We can’t find your shoes!”

Ruby’s cry is what wakes Qrow up.

What a way to start the day. He hasn’t even had coffee or breakfast yet and he’s already been tasked with finding his wedding shoes. Give him a break.

It then comes to attention that this is his wedding day. By the time he goes to bed, he and Clover will be married.

His crankiness at being woken up and put to work so quickly doesn’t fully evaporate, but a lot of it does all the same.

And as Qrow starts searching his temporary room to find his shoes, he can’t help but take note of the bubbling happiness under him.

()()()()()()()()()()()

It feels so weird to Clover to wake up in the Ace Ops’ suite. He’s stopped by from time to time since leaving the Atlesian Army, especially as he’s been planning his wedding, but staying over feels simultaneously nostalgic and bizarre.

Mostly though, the odd feeling is one that stems from not waking up beside Qrow. It’s not that they haven’t slept apart, but whenever they have outside of their bachelor parties, it’s been for a mission.

Well, in all fairness, today’s at once a party and a mission, and by the end of it, he and Qrow will be back sleeping right beside each other.

Clover can just barely stand the wait.

()()()()()()()()()()

The alter is beautiful. The whites and browns and red and greens come together so nicely.

In an interesting surprise touch, Harbinger in its scythe form and Kingfisher in its rod form are tastefully placed right next to Tai and Marrow respectively. And on top of their handles, Qrow and Clover’s respective rings rest safely on each of their handles.

They’re both impressed, more so that their weapons were somehow sneak out and brought all the way to the communications tower without either’s knowledge.

Clover’s the first to arrive at Amity Tower. Tai and Marrow organized how Qrow and Clover would check in on things so they wouldn’t see each other until the ceremony. Though Clover found the superstition banal, he decides not to make a fuss about it today, not when there are more important things going on.

The sweet smell of flowers greets his nose. They’re all laid out so nicely, and possibly even more so in the reception hall. Clover looks to his and Qrow’s table, and then to his pants.

Marrow gave him back his phone this morning, and with Marrow temporarily busy in the bathroom, Clover sends Qrow a quick text before he returns.

Clover: Everything looks perfect up here, but I bet you’ll look even better. See you soon. ;)

Qrow arrives a bit later than expected...which for him was anything but unexpected. Between finding his shoes, Tai insisting on ironing his suit (”I swear, there was a wrinkle on it this morning!), making sure he got a good meal in him, cramming everyone into Tai’s car, and dealing with traffic, it’s amazing they got there when they did.

By the time Qrow gets there, the caterers are starting to arrive and their cake is on its way over, too!

Though Qrow initially felt his scroll buzz in the car, he’s unable to look at it until now. He sees Clover’s text in between the tons of congratulations messages, and smiles.

He’s such a dork.

But he’s Qrow’s dork.

Qrow: You know it. ;) See you soon.

Far too much time is spent for either of their taste’s getting into their suits and going over their entrances and everything (Though given how their rehearsal went, neither can be too annoyed).

Both meet their respective halves of the wedding party and soon enough...it’s time.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Robyn’s the first to enter. She has a basic script in her hand, but everyone knows she’s gonna do some ad-libbing and are excited for it.

Qrow walks down the aisle first with Ruby. The whole time, he can’t but hold his breath behind his smile, worried he might trip. Ruby, who can now fully tell how her uncle operates, holds his arm tighter and more supportively. Qrow would be lying if he said it didn’t help. Upon reaching the front, Ruby gives Qrow a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving his side.

After he arrives, the two sets of groomsmen enter side-by-side: Marrow and Tai, Elm and Port, Vine and Oobleck, and Harriet and Theodore (Yeah, I know basically nothing about Theodore, but I realized my numbers for Qrow’s groomsmen didn’t add up to Clover’s, and I hear the two of them got along, so we’re doing this!).

Once they’re in position, Clover enters with Yang. Clover, like Yang, holds his breath, but for a different reason. Qrow looks so impossibly good in his suit, and he can tell Qrow really likes how he looks, too. Like Ruby with Qrow, before leaving to join her sister, Yang gives Clover a hug and cheek kiss, but also a nice pat on the shoulder and a wish for “good luck.” Clover loves the sensation.

Clover whispers under his breath that Qrow looks amazing. Qrow thanks him, throwing a wink at Clover. Clover looks as stunned by it as Qrow did when he did it the first time.

Ceremony stuff happens, and then we get to the vows!

Robyn signals for Qrow to go first. He nods at her and begins.

“Clover,” Qrow says. “I want to say something to you, something that I never thought I would, especially here of all places, but something that feels like it should be said all the same. ...Here it goes. Clover, we don’t have to get married.”

There’s a pause as everyone watching gasps. Clover is the only one who doesn’t, though he does raise and eyebrow. Qrow maintains eye contact with him and continues.

“It’s true,” he says. “We know we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives. I’m not leaving you, you’re not leaving me, and once this is all over, we’re going to go right back to the same home we’ve spent years building together to build even more of it for as long as we can. We’ll get up, make breakfast and coffee, work, come home, watch TV, and go to bed. Maybe we’ll do different things on the weekends with Tai and the kids, or maybe we’ll just relax on the couch with a movie. So no, we don’t need to get married...but that’s exactly why I want to.”

The sighs of relief are close to deafening, and expecting that, Qrow takes another pause. Clover’s smile is beautiful, not beaming of exceedingly large, but radiant as it has ever been. Qrow hopes that whoever their planner organized to record their wedding captures it because it’s a smiles Qrow imagines he’ll want to look at over and over again.

“It’s exactly because we don’t need to throw a ceremony or a big party to show the world we love each other that makes me want to do just that,” Qrow continues. “A love like what we have, one that’s special because of all the things that don’t make it special just as much as all of the things that do, well to me, that’s a love worth celebrating. I love you, Clover, and I love the fact that being here with you gives me another chance to celebrate how we feel, how far we’ve come, and how much further we’ll go.”

There are tears in the corners of Clover’s eyes threatening to fall any second. Qrow feels that his own are on the verge of doing the same.

Clover pull him in for a hug. They know it’s not what they’re supposed to do, but it feels right and that’s all that matters. It lasts for ten seconds before they finally pull back.

Robyn’s looking at them jokingly.

“You know you’re not supposed to do that yet, right?”

“Eh,” Qrow says, shrugging with a smirk on his face. “We’re unconventional.”

“Except when we’re not,” Clover chimes in, winking at Qrow over the joke.

Robyn, smiling all the while, rolls her eyes.

“Clover, it’s your turn,” she says. The two exchange nods and then Clover turns to Qrow.

“Qrow,” he starts, “I definitely saw my life differently before I met you. I was an Atlesian Military Captain of the kingdom’s strongest group of Huntsmen, likely to stay just where I was until I retired or died in combat. That’s what I saw for myself, and that’s all I saw for myself. In that life, I didn’t see a home, I didn’t see a family, and I never saw someone I loved so much that I’d leave everything I thought I knew behind just to stand by his side. But once I met you and the kids, I began to see all sorts of things that I’d never considered for myself before -- all of those things I just listed and more. That’s the life we’ve had together so far -- deep, kind, strange, fun, sometimes a bit mundane but also beautiful because of it. I’ve got to tell you, Qrow, I can’t think of anything luckier happening to me in my entire life than finding you.”

Qrow snorts. It’s not an interruption, but Clover can’t help but comment on it.

“I guess you saw that coming?” Clover jokes.

“Maybe a bit.”

“Fair enough. Well, I don’t need to tell you that with semblances like ours, luck’s always been a special thing between us. Misfortune and Good Fortune just have a way of being part of our lives, no matter what we think or plan or want. We’ve talked before about how they counter each other or why one might be more powerful than the other on any given day, but while luck might have been what brought us together as partners initially and it certainly is part of us, it’s not all of us. Luck has some interesting perks, both good and bad alike -- it can make a day or even week better or worse -- but it can’t get either of us what we have together nor take it away. Luck doesn’t earn me the sight of that gleam in your eyes when I bring you a bowl of noodles just the way you like or that smile of yours when I tell you tell you a joke. Luck helps us live our lives, but we do the rest, and I think we do a pretty good job living it together, and I can’t wait to keep on doing it with you for the rest of our lives.”

A good number of the attendants make an “awwww” sound at the end of Clover’s vows. Qrow’s tempted to make fun of it, but abstains.

Robyn nods at the conclusion of her vows. Tai and Marrow collect the rings for Qrow and Clover from off of the weapons and bring them to them. Robyn then turns to Clover.

“Clover Ebi,” she says. “Do you take this man, Qrow Branwen, to be your lawfully-wedded husband -- to love, cherish, and grow with him in sickness and in health and for better or worse as long as you both shall live?”

Clover’s smile is present. It doesn’t get bigger, but it gets deeper.

“I do,” he says. Qrow takes Clover’s ring and slides it easily onto Clover’s finger.

Robyn turns to Qrow.

“And Qrow Branwen,” she continues. “Do you take this man, Clover Ebi, to be your lawfully-wedded husband -- to love, cherish, and grow with him in sickness and in health and for better or worse as long as you both shall live?”

Qrow’s smile stays the same -- relaxed, easy, and so utterly content. Despite seeing it hundreds of times by now, it still looks so beautiful to Clover...especially when he says the next two words.

“I do.”

Qrow extends out his hand, and Clover, with the ring he got him, slides it down Qrow’s flawless finger effortlessly.

Robyn’s smile grows.

“Then by the power vested in me by the Kingdom of Solitas and the land of Remnant, I now declare you husbands. You may now kiss.”

Qrow and Clover have kissed more times than they can possibly count.

But by the time Robyn declares them married, they’re starving to feel each other’s kisses again. Cupping each other’s cheeks, Qrow and Clover share their first kiss as a married couple.

Everyone cheers. A quarter of the room cheers through their tears.

Finally, they’re married.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Qrow and Clover get a small break to themselves before they enter the reception. They spend much of it standing and sitting close together, kissing, telling the Qrow and Clover equivalent of sweet nothings to each other, and talking about what their previous night and this morning were like. It’s kind, relaxed, and happy -- so, so happy.

The reception’s amazing. Between awesome food, “the world’s best cocktail hour” (Qrow and Clover’s words, not mine), a good DJ, heartwarming (and a little embarrassing) speeches, gorgeous decorations, cool party favors, and a beautiful and loving first dance, everyone has an amazing time.

At some point, Qrow and Clover find themselves able to sneak out of their own reception for a break (Qrow especially needs one, but Clover’s not about to pretend he’s not at least a little tired either). There’s a small empty balcony right in front of the moon. Clover loops his arm around Qrow’s shoulders and settles it on the left one.

Clover takes a deep breath through his nose and Qrow can feel his hairs bounce up and down with it.

“Smell something you like?” Qrow teases.

“More like someone. And I can’t wait to keep smelling him.”

They relax in the quiet for a bit. Qrow snuggles into Clover’s side as the gentle wind embraces their forms wherever it can.

“We’re married,” Clover finally says, said as if he’s just realized it for the first time.

It must be the tenth time today he’s done so since the ceremony.

Qrow hasn’t gotten even remotely sick of hearing it.

“We’re married,” he repeats.

Clover releases a rumbling chuckle, then kisses Qrow’s upper right temple. Qrow presses his lips to Clover’s hand. It’s not a kiss, per se, but it lingers delicately on his hand.

They stay for a couple more minutes before deciding that they should probably return to their party.

The rest of the party is so nice. Friends and family party and dance the night away with the gorgeous night sky all around them for hours.

The cleanup is exhausting and despite loving their wedding planner from the moment they hired her, Qrow and Clover have never been more grateful for her services than where she says they can head out and that she would finish up the rest of the work and text them (”Tomorrow afternoon. You guys are gonna need some shut eye.”).

It takes Qrow and Clover about an hour to get home. Clover drives once they’re on solid ground again. In the car, neither talk much, content to sit and enjoy the drive home in a comfortable quiet, save for the occasional joke and “We’re married” statement.

When they’re finally home, they stop at the door. After all, who’s going to carry who over the threshold?

They compromise. Kissing each other’s face all the way, Qrow carries Clover through their front door, and Clover carries Qrow through their bedroom door onto a...very fun wedding night (Which I’m gonna let you all imagine for yourself because I have literally been writing this all day and writing about sex is kind of tough for me when I’m at my best).

When they’re at last ready to go to sleep, Qrow and Clover cuddle close and give each other a final loving look before falling asleep in each other’s arms, blissfully together tonight and for decades worth of them to come, just as they deserve. I don’t even know what to say now that we’re here at the end. I think I said it here earlier, but it bears repeating: I love you all and thank you so much for following these Fair Game HCs.

Tagging @skybird13 @whipped4qrow @mooksie01 @luck-of-the-caw @xwildangel @solitude-of-stars-deactivated20 @vastnessofthespiral @o0nashipear0o @unfairgamey @doctorrwby @clover-and-co @megan-atthedisco @wash-my-brain @bisexualdisasterqrow @thursdayseraph @doubledexterity @rwby-things-i-guess @atlas-heartthrob @the-answer-was-bi-klance @compoterie @thuskindlyiboop @oceansquid @transdemion @deltastream21 @mimiori @xya-hunter @dinosaurs-last-day @roman-torchtwink @subatomictealeaves @drbtinglecannon @saphiralunaris @pretentiouskneecaps @amxngsthxmans @ayomez13 @carbonated-table-spices @darkestsiren @chaosgameingkoi @collectingsparechangemadeeasy @michaels-daughter2005 @youmaywanttoduck @lovethewitchofendor @victorious1956 @spence0112 @madamoisellesica @ju-ka-mc-24

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#fair game #qrow branwen #clover ebi #rwby #lucky charms #luckbirds #luck birds #fairgame #qrow x clover #qrover #fair game hcs #500

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davidmann95 · 3 years

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So... Crossover #1: any thoughts?

Anonymous said: You seemed not to think much of Crossover #1 on Twitter. Your full thoughts?

wcwit said: So Cates' Crossover #1, best bad comic of the year or just regular pretentious trash?

An incidental note upfront: What you’re seeing there is the apparently SUPER-RARE SECRET VARIANT COVER I unwittingly picked up at the store - at first glance indistinguishable from the standard cover, the kid getting four-color-fucked by mysterious comic book rays is in fact themselves reading a variant cover of the book, rather than the main cover again in an infinite painting-within-a-painting sort of deal that’s the standard.

So I wasn’t gonna get this: my initial post on the comic and what an obviously awful idea it was back when we only knew half the premise and it was known as Pray The Capes Away actually got some out-of-nowhere traction recently, and I’ve grown rapidly tired of Cates’ Marvel work. Even learning that it was going to be Image’s biggest debut in decades - Jesus fuck, how and why - mostly just made me wish it was Commanders in Crisis getting those kinds of numbers. But Sean Dillon/@deathchrist2000 and Ritesh Babu both got early looks at it and assured me that I, specifically, needed to see the last page, so in I dove. I’ll be posting my reaction to the last page below because I recorded it for their amusement, and below that I’ll talk about said last page. It may surprise you, however, that that wasn’t my main takeaway from the issue.

Let’s accentuate the positive first! This book is gorgeous. Geoff Shaw was terrific back with Thanos Wins, but this is an incredible stylistic level-up aided and abetted by Dee Cunniffe’s colors: it’s rote as hell to say “They mix the elevated and the mundane so well!”, but even beyond the obvious ben-day dots stuff there’s such a tangible sense that the comic book beings don’t belong here, that they’re of higher, misty, platonic stuff and we squishy non-paper-people inevitably crumble and break and bleed in their wake, communicating that big idea so much more powerfully than the actual loads of text on the subject. And if we’re talking good things, I’ll concede it’s possible that there could be subtleties that play out in more interesting ways as it goes on, and that not everything is meant to be taken at face value: a smart friend who actually did like it mentioned being interested in it as clumsy but potentially effective exploration of ‘what if the fun hobby you had inadvertently became contaminated and stigmatized by forces beyond your control?’ In a post-Comicsgate world where we recently ended up inches away from the Superman logo almost certainly becoming a fascist propaganda symbol ala the Punisher skull for at least a generation, that’s a defensible lens to view this book through.

For all Donny Cates’ legitimate talents however, I don’t think an expectation of subtlety is gonna work out with this one.

Okay first off getting into the rest of it the main characters’ name is Ellipsis because “Those three little dots...they can become anything”, so there’s that. More importantly, in the world of this story where comic fans face social oppression after superpeople materialize and fuck up Colorado, they face EVERY KIND OF OPPRESSION: there are clear parallels drawn in here to the violence and harassment faced by people persecuted for their religion, people seeking abortions, queer people, and people of color; this motherfucker even drops a “hates and fears” to let us know comic collecting basically makes you one of the goddamn X-Men. Which in theory could be a purely misjudged allegory rather than stemming from actual, obscenely inflated to the point of disgusting fears of ‘nerd oppression’, except that the book literally opens with a quote from Wertham. If Cates didn’t want to make the message “Hating comics? That’s bad. Like, racism bad”, he utterly, grotesquely failed by inextricably intermingling imagery of real-world bigotry with systemic, deluded fanboy paranoia, at least as of this first issue that’s supposed to meaningfully convey the premise. As a queer dude I think I’m somewhat in my lane to say it’s too blunt and broad and dopey to be particularly offensive, but the co-opting of oppression is what this is rooted in.

The idea of ‘comics good no matter what people think, ain’t it?’ extends to the last traditional local comic store standing in this world: much as superheroes are the primary cause of suffering in this world but the point of the story is still supposed to reveal the beauty in them, part of this is that the comics community isn’t perfect but it sure is great. Which is expressed here via Ellie’s boss Otto, a loveable asshole who yells at people coming in trying to sell the wrong kind of comics to fuck off, but at heart is we’re supposed to understand a good enough dude that the shop he runs is “the only home a lot of (the benighted nerds) have left” (because I guess in this alternate universe the physical stores are still the main hub through which comics fans talk with one another?).

So here’s a story of my very own! That’s me in 2013, it must’ve been some kind of special day because I’m wearing a shirt with a button. I’d at that point only frequented one of what would be my thus far four regular comic shops. The first was a great place, and while to say I had a sense of community there would be overstating it a bit, I was on really good terms with the owner and we regularly chatted when we had the time. When I left for college my store there wasn’t as well-stocked, and for some damn reason all variant covers were double-price, but I got along really well with the owner there too. The third I wasn’t so lucky; the guy regularly behind the desk was never overtly hostile, but clearly wanted to wring my neck every time I asked when a missing comic might get in or if I could update my pull list, and given I’m in the ‘ideal’ demographic for being a comic book store regular and was dropping a solid lump of money there every week, I wonder how others were treated there (the store nearly went under, was saved on the last day of operation by another store that wanted to incorporate it as part of its franchise, then shortly afterwards DID go under and is now I believe a beef jerky place). My current store is fine, I didn’t chat much with the folks behind the counter even before we all had medical incentive to get in and out of places fairly quickly but it almost always has what I’m looking for.

Just because those were my regular stores of course doesn’t mean those are the only ones I’ve ever gone to. About a year before that picture was taken - it’s the closest I could find - when I was 17 my store didn’t have something or another I was looking for, so I head across town to see if another place I had looked up had it. This other place didn’t have what I was looking for either, though I distinctly remember picking up a few issues of Hickman’s FF while I was there since I had foolishly fallen off, hence my remembering the year. I bought a couple issues, but hung around for a bit looking to see if I might grab something else out of a dollar box, setting my comics down. Without realizing it, I’d set my books down on top of another issue, and when I decided I wasn’t getting anything else, I just picked that up along with the rest of the pile and was about to walk out before the owner stopped me. He explained what I had done though assumed it had been deliberate, and because I was a good-hearted little geek I even recall thinking “Well, he’s gonna chew me out, but I guess I deserve it. I’ll try and take this to heart as a learning experience.”

Then he pulled up his shirt a little to show me the gun on his belt. He pointed at the security camera monitors at his desk, and explained to me that if I ever did something like that again, he would have it on tape, and he would pull that gun on me and hold me there while he called the cops.

As it turned out, the comic was free.

The whole thing was so sudden and bizarre and unexpected I didn’t actually freak out until the drive home. It wasn’t until weeks or maybe months later that I managed to tell my dad about the experience, because I *had* nearly stolen a (free) comic and my guilt was mixed in with my nerves and I guess I was somehow too close to register just how disproportionate his response was. It wasn’t until now, nearly a decade later and thinking about it for the first time in a long time as I write this, that I wondered if that might have gone differently - especially living in the midwest - if I hadn’t been a white, squeaky-voiced 17-year-old.

So, minor spoiler, when our cantankerous but well-meaning LCS owner yells to call the cops and grabs and yells at a small kid for pocketing a comic (and later displays fantasy racism towards said kid), I am not filled with nostalgic love for the brotherly safe space that is comic book stores, where this guy while not meant to be seen as perfect is still framed in part as a charming, witty representation of Why We Love These Places, And This Community, And This Genre, And This Medium. Cates is clearly drawing on real time at his local stores, but he equally clearly has a very different takeaway from those experiences than me. And I am, again, in a demographic - white, cis-male, abled, bi but more interested in women, disposable income, a lifelong collector - that the industry and a lot of the guys who sell it to us contort themselves around catering to, even if I had a single very negative experience and later an ongoing low-key uncomfortable one to help disabuse me of any notions of the purity of the dork community. In the world of Crossover as of #1, toxicity is intertwined, deliberately or not on the part of the creators, with what we love on the cosmic and small business scales alike, but at least in the latter case it’s the whole picture that’s beautiful, not any single kernel that needs to be worked on to be dug up.

So underneath is my video reaction to the last page of Crossover #1. Very minor spoilers because I mutter the last two words of the comic to myself, but under the video I discuss said final page and some other scattered thoughts. Whether you read that or not, my takeaway is this: I’m fascinated with wherever the hell this thing is going, I’m glad my dad liked it well enough to want to keep getting it because now I’ll get to see where it heads, but my first impression is that this is at heart meant as cheapass Oscar-bait for people who only read Batman. It’s big and high-concept but also small and intimate! It’s meta and about how great you, the reader are for your consumption, especially the consumption of this! It’s going to be in large part about a forbidden love between a couple divided across impermeable social lines (a couple where they’re a seemingly straight white man and woman, but one likes comics)! Maybe it’ll become Not That, and I’m sure it’ll do at least something interesting along the way because Cates has done good stuff before and there are some inherently interesting big ideas for him to play with here, but for the love of god if you’re thinking about getting this buy Commanders in Crisis too or instead, it’s another new book out of Image about superheroes dealing with the collapse of the multiverse but that one is really fucking good.

So the final page splash reveal is that when the comic book child discovered in here got out of Colorado, which has had an impenetrable energy shield erected around it by one of the heroes for years, she and others were ferried out of there...by Superman, as the narration declares that “This is a story...about hope.” They don’t say the word, but she sketches her savior, Ellie and Otto freak out and go “Is that---” when they see it, and on that last page we see that while a crude drawing it isn’t a rough analogue character, it’s a guy with a cape and trunks with an S on his chest. Surprisingly, I don’t have much to say: it’s just another blunt signifier that superheroes rule and are the best, paired with the most utterly devalued notion as of late of what makes Superman special in ‘hope’. I mean, I’m perversely excited to see whether this is building the entire series on a hook it can never deliver on, or if Cates actually has talked DC into an intercompany crossover; believable given they’ve done a bunch of those over the last several years, and why else would Mark Waid be supervising as ‘story editor’ on this? I guess it’ll shake out one way or another with #6 given Cates has said it “has one of the more epic and — I would argue historic — sequences in comic book history in it.” But I’m far less convinced this is gonna truly go into the meaty question of “What does Superman mean and what makes him unique in this world where superheroes in general are indisputably either failures or monstrous bastards given the scale of destruction their presence has brought about, and he himself failed to stop that?” than as some kind of holy grail of how great superheroes are despite how dang violent they’ve gotten these days for the crew to chase after, whatever additional twist will surely be placed upon it. At least he’s kinda helping an immigrant kid get over a wall, if that’s deliberate?

Random final thoughts:

* If I wrote the opening essay and turned it in in a college course, I would be expelled for plagiarizing Grant Morrison. This is not a joke.

* If mainstream American superhero comics ended January 2017 in this universe, its own last ‘crossover’ was Civil War II, which is hilarious.

* God, please tell me if it takes the dive after all that this isn’t somehow tied into whatever Waid’s Superman project is.

* I wouldn’t normally crap on issues with the finer details of worldbuilding, but A. This is rooted in a nominally ‘real’ world playing by recognizable rules, B. I’m ragging on this anyway so what’s the harm, and C. It’s really obvious. So: Why is one of the racists against the superheroes the guy who loves superheroes so much he’s the last holdout in the entire world still selling comic books about them? How does this modestly-sized shop exist long-term with apparently a significant regular customer base if there are no new comics or even reprints to restock with, ever? Who’s buying the serialized cop/cowboy comics that the U.S. government apparently created pretty much overnight (nobody, it’s just another Wertham dig)?

* The solicit for issue #3 proclaims “Don't miss this one, folks. If you do, it just might drive you...mad.”, so now I fear some kind of Ultra Comics riff.

* “Kids love chains” is the most metal-ass quote of all time and I hate that it’s being wasted as an arc title on this book.

#Donny Cates #Geoff Shaw #Dee Cunniffe #John J. Hill #Mark Waid #Me #Superman #Opinion

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akaashisupremacy · 4 years

Text

Chasing Springtime

Summary: Kei Tsukishima, now in college, reacquaints himself with a childhood friend. They explore a museum together where they reminisce about their time in junior high. Old feelings that he has long shoved aside resurface.

Notes: Kaori Miyahara is an original character, but readers are free to put themselves into her shoes! This is my first fic and I love museums. There will be more chapters to come and let me know if you have any feedback.

Read it in (Ao3)

Spring (February) 2018 || Sendai Modern and Contemporary Art Museum || Sendai City || 3:00 PM

“I haven’t been to many contemporary art museums before,” Kei Tsukishima admitted as he followed Kaori Miyahara into one of the temporary exhibit galleries.

Although Tsukki hoped to work in a museum after he graduated college, he mostly envisioned a historical or science museum. He hadn’t considered any art museums because he wasn’t too familiar with them.

Growing up in the suburbs, there was not a big emphasis on the arts. Tsukki later regretted not paying more attention to the subject because it would have made the Introduction to Modern and Contemporary Arts class he was taking far less daunting. The class itself was interesting and eye opening, but he had felt like he lacked the actual experience with such art to fully appreciate the course. Towards the end of last year’s winter term, he had a conversation with his classmate Kaori visiting more museums to have a better understanding at how his courses will be useful for his planned career.

On one of the last few weeks of the winter term, he entered the classroom to find Kaori with a bunch of museum brochures spread out on her desk. He plopped on his desk next to hers and took out his notebook in preparation for their class.

“What’s with all the brochures?” he asked. Kaori was also in her first year in university. He hadn’t been classmates with her for years, but even then her desk remained messy before class. Some things never change.

Kaori turned her body towards him, sitting on the side of her chair and waved some of the brochures at him. The professor had not yet arrived, everyone was milling around talking about the upcoming spring break.

“How many of these have you actually been to?” she asked.

“I’ve been to those two and that one,” he pointed to one of the brochures on her desk. He took out his headphones and began placing his notes and pens on his desk.

“I’m sure I’ve been to more when I was younger but I haven’t been in some of these in so long I’m not sure what their interiors look like anymore.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Did you know that there were this many museums in the area?’ she asked, stacking the brochures on her desk.

“I guess not,” he shrugged, preparing to slip his headphones back on.

“I’m taking a class on Museum Management next semester and I don’t even know what most of the museums in the area look like. I’m not updated on their latest collections or their educational programs, I can already feel myself struggling at the subject.” she sighed. He could see a cloud of gloom start to gather on her head.

Tsukki honestly felt it was a little early to be panicking for a subject that started next term. He tried to reassure her, saying that many of her classmates would be on the same boat.

“There are so many I haven’t been to. I’ve been so focused on gymnastics when I lived here. I really should go to more museums.”she mumbled with her hands cupping her face, “I mean I’ve been to more museums when I lived in Tokyo because I was injured when I lived there. it’s great and all, but I’m not really taking my internship there.”

“Same,” he sighed, putting his hands behind his head, “Not about the Tokyo museums, but about visiting more museums. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re competing on both a team and as an individual gymnast. Of course that’s time consuming.”

Most gymnasts only competed on either team or individual. Kaori was technically recruited to compete on the team, but sometimes she competed on her individual because she had some difficult skills in her arsenal from her elite days.

“I actually wish we were required to go to museums every two weeks or so that we’ll be more updated about their latest collections, ne?” she mulled over with hands clasped together staring into the blackboard.

“Kaori, I’m sure most of your classmates wouldn’t have gone to that many museums either. I mean you’ll probably go to more throughout college right? Why would you ask for extra work in class? You seem to be doing pretty well.

Beside, we’re reading up on a lot of the things inside the museum. Isn’t that enough?” he said. Tsukki waved his notes. He reached out to take a handful of brochures from her desk and looked through them.

Kaori shook her head.

“Reading about history and art is very different from seeing it in front of your eyes. I feel like I understand the subject better when I know and see what they’re talk about. Visiting museums is important even if it’s not required by class, Tsukki.”

“I mean you could still do it on your own right?” he asked, with one brow up.

Kaori pouted and gave him the side eye, “You’re placing a lot of faith in my self- initiative. I mean, would you go on your own will? Regularly?”

“If I had someone to keep me accountable I guess,” he shrugged, handing the brochures back to her. Maybe she did have a point about required attendance.

Tsukki convinced her to form a museum club for two where they planned to go to museums on every other Sunday afternoon. Their first trip was to the 3M Science Museum, which catered more to Tsukki’s interest and the city museum the session after. Today it was an art museum, which was more up Kaori’s alley.

“Should we head to the temporary or permanent galleries first…” he asked, browsing through the map on the brochure. There was a temporary exhibit on Southeast Asian art, a children’s biennale of sorts and of course the permanent collections.

“We’re a little pressed. We can always visit the permanent collections another time, so the temporary exhibit might be best.” said Kaori, mentally calculating the time they should spend on the temporary collection to be able to quickly go through the permanent collection.

“My mom’s from Southeast Asia and I lived there for a few years, so I’m always curious what their art has to say especially in exhibits abroad,” she added. They presented their tickets at the counter and the staff directed them towards the Southeast Asia exhibit.

“I thought you said your mom was Chinese?” he asked, a little bit surprised. Tsukki didn’t know much about Kaori’s mother from the times he has seen her. He just knew she was Chinese because Kaori almost always perfected the kanji sections of their exam when they were in Junior High.

“Yeah, but she grew up in Southeast Asia because her parents migrated there.” she answered.

A lot of the paintings that came from the exhibit were Social-Realists, which reflected the realities and struggles of the Third World countries. The texts explained that although abstraction was a widespread movement in the region, artists feel a responsibility towards amplifying the voices of the masses.

“Cool! A movie.” she exclaimed, kicking off her boots as she hopped onto the mats. Kaori promptly sank into a chair.

Tsukki read through the exhibit caption before he followed suit. Kaori had kind of just dumped her shoes at the edge of the mat. He straightened them up and placed them besides his at a corner.

“It says the Thai artist wanted to film protests for workers rights in a rural area in Thailand, then something about it being a larger commentary on capitalism. A lot of the works here are so politically charged.” he commented, dragging a bean bag closer to her, “Does any of this match up with your experience when you lived there?”

“Not really, but you have to remember that I was really young and that my mom’s family were well-off. Majority of the people in the region are not as affluent. That and I’ve never lived in Thailand.” she sighed, “I heard the food there is really spicy.”

“Isn’t poverty a universal experience though?” he said, sitting back onto his bean bag. “I mean poverty exists here in Japan too. Why is Southeast Asian poverty so special that you would base an entire region’s works around it?”

Kaori’s eyes widened at his words. She looked at him with her eyebrow raised and her mouth ajar. Tsukki jerked back and waved his hands side to side in apology - a break from his usual demeanor.

“Ah…sorry, that’s not what I meant. What I wanted to say was ahh...their poverty seems to be branded with their Southeast Asian-ness. It’s like regular poverty mixed with...the stuff from pre-colonial Southeast Asian history class. It’s like they’re really emphasizing how Southeast Asian they are through their poverty. ” he rubbed the back of his neck as he explained, “I’m not sure I explained it that well.”

“There’s a duo from the Philippines that told me that when they do that kind of thing, they are more likely to get funding from Japan. I met them at a Yokohama show when I was in Tokyo. They regularly get grants from Japan Foundation so it must be a formula that works.” she said matter-of-factly.

“Isn’t that a little disconcerting? That they have to show themselves as poor to get funding for their art?” he asked, shaking his head, “Shouldn’t there be a better criteria for funding? Like merit or something.”

Kaori sat back and looked at him in the eye, “All this almost feels like a show of how different and advanced Japan is. Since we don’t experience this kind of poverty here, it makes people feel better about their conditions you know.” She let herself slump at her seat as she talked, “The message is this: we don’t need these movements to be widespread because these problems supposedly don’t exist.”

Tsukki was surprised at the sharpness of her words. He had never thought about art that way. I mean he knew that art could be used as propaganda, but the subtlety of nuances of a Southeast Asian contemporary art exhibit was astonishing if Kaori was indeed right.

“Ahh I’m not sure how acceptable it is to say out loud. The Japanese can be prissy about discussions on politics. The culture here is rather compliant. People would rather obey than speak up.” she said, fiddling with her jacket as she stared at the film, “ And…I think I’ve made you uncomfortable. Just so you know, I’m not accusing you of anything. Compliance is a structure. ”

He shook his head, “…more than anything I think what you said has given me something to think about. I don’t feel targeted, don’t worry.”

Her vocabulary had become so sharp and radical. Kaori had the tendency to be critical about politics from an early age or “edgy” as some of the schoolmates would describe her, but even this caught him a little off guard.

“Besides, just because this is all propaganda doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy its other merits,” he said standing up and preparing to leave.

Another couple entering the matted space turned to look at Tsukki. He looked slightly embarrassed.

“That’s right my leftist friend,” she said, winking at him, laughing inside at his discomfort. Tsukki nudged her side as she put her shoes back on.

“God, Kaori! You can be so cheeky sometimes.” he gritted his teeth, muttering at her, helping her up.

“Apologies, comrade.” she teased, walking on her tiptoes towards the next installation.

In the middle of the exhibit was a video installation that filled an entire wall. Mats covered the floor and bean bag chairs were spread all around encouraging visitors to sit and watch the film. A few visitors looking to rest were seated in the area. It looked like a casual film-viewing experience. After sitting in the area for a few minutes, they quickly moved onto to other works.

Tsukki’s favorite installation was probably one from Singapore. There wasn’t much text available about it, except that it made use of Ryuichi Sakamoto’s works such as Andata and Ubi that it was previously exhibited in the National Singapore Gallery.

The installation was fenced like a loose, dark maze. It was pitch black except for the patches of light emanating from tablet sized screens showing vignettes of apartment living rooms at night. The living rooms were shown from different angles all illuminated by TV screens as music by Sakamato, a renowned film music composer played in the background. Each tablet played a different piece.

“I like this one,” he said approvingly, “It’s unlike anything we’ve read in class.It’s more than paintings on walls. It’s a whole room of art!”

“It’s a great way to portray isolation in the cities.” she nodded.

Tsukki had barely pinpointed what he liked about the exhibit. Kaori had already summed up what it was about. The closest work they’ve discussed at class in relation to the installation was probably Rothko, an American abstractionist who painted huge canvases of color in hopes of moving people through the sheer size and emotion emanating from the painting.

“Reminds me of Edward Hopper,” she said, bending down a bit, to look at one of the screens.

Tsukki, who was peering at one the screens placed so low he had to crouch to be able to look, sat up straight. Hopper…that name seemed familiar. He probably took it up in his modern art class last semester. Maybe an American artist.

“American modernist who portrayed isolation of the city living. He had some works portraying how empty cities were during World War 2.” she said, as if reading her thoughts. “The professor barely mentioned it. I became a huge fan of his work when I was younger.”

Tsukki breathed a sigh of relief. Today was a Sunday, but he felt like he was being tested in school. Both of them took their time viewing each tablet, relishing in the details of each screen. They had stayed long enough that the music began to change to atmospheric noises and other atmospheric music.

Kaori had decided she was done before Tsukki was, so she sauntered over his side about a meter away, as not to pressure him to finish up. He sensed she was done and turned to her.

“Do you like this installation?” he asked. Her shape barely carved itself in the dark, but he could hear her breathing softly and the rustling of her jacket gave way where she stood while patiently waiting for him to finish.

“I do. The use of music makes me think about how different this installation would be if the music choices were switched. Andata is looming and melancholic right? It sounds like a silent scream. It heightens the alienation implied by the empty living rooms. If I changed it into something else, the feel would be totally different.” she whispered so quickly that he had to replay what she said in his head.

Tsukki could sense Kaori was brewing with ideas. She sounded excited, and a little distracted by her own thoughts as if a million thoughts were racing in her head.

“What song would you put in place to change the mood?” he asked.

Kaori brought out her phone. She looked around to see if the light would distract other viewers. Thankfully there was no one else in the installation. She tapped his headphones around his neck indicating that she wanted to borrow his chord. He drew out the chord from his phone in his pocket and handed it to her. His fingers touched the center of her palm.

Illuminated by the light of her phone, Kaori instructed him to look at the nearest screen. He put his headphones on. She played Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes which was a song from the fifties sung by a barbershop quartet. The song transformed the living into a scene of possible domestic bliss. The modern living room juxtaposed with a vintage song created the semblance of residents that liked a fun throwback.

She wiggled her finger and pressed another song, playing “Careless Whisper by George Michael". Tsukki smirked, suppressing his laughter. This was a sharp contrast to Sakamoto and Chordettes’ pieces indeed. He took out his headphones.

“But what would you play to describe your own living room?” he asked.

Kaori thought for a moment and searched through her phone, her face barely lit.

“Ahh” she exclaimed, gesturing for him to put his headphones back. The piece she played combined ambient noises in a park such as the croaking of frogs and chirping of birds and layered with a piano composition that mimicked the sensation of light rains and wind.

“Your living room in Karasuno?” he guessed. Considering he lived next door, the sounds they heard in their backyard were pretty similar.

Kaori nodded, “Sounds like your living room too when you open the windows.”

Kaori and Tsukki were neighbors during Junior High. Although Kaori’s schedule was always tight (even during their breaks) because she wanted to compete at the elite level of gymnastics, they spent many whatever time they had free in each other’s backyard, tossing a volleyball around or watching shows on Tsukki’s computer.

Sometime in their second year, Tsukki became embarrassed about being seen around Kaori in school because their classmates would tease them together. At a time when first crushes and romances were novel, Tsukki found the whole thing an irritable debacle. Although he easily stood up to bullies, the teasing still got to him. He didn’t want people to think Kaori was his girlfriend. Tsukki’s distancing did not sit well with Kaori. She understood his concern but felt that it wasn’t an excuse to stop being friends.

One afternoon, when Kaori’s parents weren’t home. She thought it was the perfect opportunity to hang out with him because there was no one around. The sound of a volleyball being tossed up in the air indicated that Tsukki was out playing in his backyard. It was a relatively peaceful day. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, frogs were croaking in the distance. Tsukki’s footsteps lightly scratched on the dirt beneath his feet.

She climbed the brick wall between them and propped herself up on her forearms.

“Tsukki! Tsukki! Hey!!!” she said, struggling to keep herself on the wall. Tsukki turned to the direction of the wall. He was jolted by the sound of her voice, stumbling back on his own feet.

“How did you climb the wall? What are you doing??” He hissed, scrambling to stand back up. Kaori was like a monkey sometimes.

“Do you wanna watch a musical? Let’s watch a musical!” she smiled, waving at him.

“No.” he sternly pouted, folding his arms and staring at her. He was determined to spend less time with her, the memory of school teasing still fresh on his mind.

“You just don’t wanna hang out with me, because I’m a girl right? If I was a boy, you’d totally hang out with me like Yamaguchi!” she yelled, “You’re not even busy-”

Kaori lost her grip on the wall and slipped down the wall. Tsukki gasped. He heard a thud into the dirt. In a shot of adrenaline, he scrambled up his side of the wall to check if she was alright.

“Kaori! Are you okay?” he asked, holding himself up on the wall. His feet were slipping. He urged himself to stay up.

Kaori sat on her butt. She rolled backwards and quickly stood on her feet.

“I’m fine. Thanks. Didn’t think you’d be concerned,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me “since you don’t want to be friends anymore looks like it.”

“I just don’t want people teasing that you’re my girlfriend because you’re not.” he said, his brows furrowed.

“Why can’t you just tell that? Do you really have to go around avoiding me sometimes? If you don’t want to be friends, I’ll just go find new friends!!!” she said out loud, crossing her arms. Kaori made friends easily, Tsukki had no doubt that she could easily find someone else to bother.

“Everyone nearby is kind of in college. Who are you going to be friends with?” he said, cocking his head.

“I’ll bike to the next corner!” she called out, raising her voice at Tsukki who was struggling to stay hanging on the wall.

Tsukki couldn’t hold on anymore and slipped back down to the dirt of his backyard. He tried to climb back up. He couldn’t. Although he was tall, he was relatively skinny for his height. He didn’t have a lot of strength or athleticism.

“Ok, fine let’s watch a musical. Just don’t be so noisy. You can come over. Bring your own headphones.” he sighed, talking to her from his side of the wall.

When he didn’t hear a reply, he called her name, “Kaori?” Had she gone into her house in deliberate measure to ignore him?

Kaori managed to climb on the wall with her arms folded in front of her.

“Yes? Did you try climbing over again? I heard some scuffles on the wall.” she grinned with a glint in her eye. Tsukki could just feel that she enjoyed watching him struggle.

“Just come,” he scowled, rolling his eyes.

“Ok!” she smiled, dropping back down into her side.

The two spent the next hour and a half in the Tsukishima family living room watching a live recording of “Singing in the Rain” off a computer. They sat squeezed together on the couch with the computer placed on each of their laps. Kaori tapped her fingers to the beat of the songs. Tsukki lightly hummed to the few melodies he was familiar with. Both fully absorbed in the story set at the end of the silent film era.

After they watched the musical, Tsukki got Kaori to toss the volleyball for him in his backyard.

“You should do a routine to ‘Singing in the Rain’! It would look cool with your clubs or hoop apparatus.” he said excitedly. He promised to get Yamaguchi to watch her competition if she did the said routine.

“I think it would be quite good with the hoops too! Hopefully my coach will let me do it next season. Almost everyone does Pop or Classical music in rhythmic gymnastics, it can get really boring.” she sighed, changing her toss to an underhand receive. She hit the incoming ball and sent it up high.

“Nice receive! You’re really improving.” he said, watching where the ball was falling. He promptly catches it with an overhand toss.

“Thanks, it’s from all this tossing that we’re doing.” she said, her eyes glued to the ball.

While they toss the ball back and forth, Tsukki begins whistling the main melody of Singing in the Rain.

“How do you do that? I’ve always wanted to whistle! ” she asked, trying to whistle but to no avail. Tsukki shrugs his shoulders. He tries to teach her how to shape her lips. Kaori tries a couple of times and sighs in defeat. His whistling blends in with the sound of chirping birds and they continue to play until dinnertime.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who wrote this piece? It’s great.” he said, moving his headphones back down to his neck gesturing to ask for her phone.

“Belle Chen, she’s a contemporary classical musician. You should download her music” she said, showing him her profile. “What would you play to describe your house?”

“Sukiyaki is something my mom would play.” he thought. His mother had a penchant for 60’s pop songs that she would blast while she cleaned and cooked.

The two exited the installation into a series of dimly lit installations. They found themselves out on a hallway with colorful glass with a long net of wind-chimes on the ceiling.

“Pity that they didn’t put this outdoors. The wind would create more variations with the sound. Here it’s just being regularly blasted by the air conditioning.” she commented.

As Tsukki’s eyes adjusted to the light, he rebutted, “Maybe they placed the chimes here not for the source of wind, but for the light source. If this installation was outdoors, if this whole hallways was outdoors…the transition from a series of dimly lit areas into the sun would be quite jarring. The artificial light with the gentle rustling of the chimes would be a gentle reminder to the senses about the transition of spaces.”

Kaori still thought the chimes were best placed outside, reminiscent of the sound of chimes and bells during a temple visit but Tsukki did make a good argument for its current placement. They sat on the benches laid out on the hallway, listening to the chimes.

“What about here? What music will you play here?” he asked.

Kaori didn’t even blink. She extended her hand for his chord and plugged him in then played Sudden Rush of Memories by the Shanghai Restoration Project. Electronic synth music filled syncopations at the start that mellowed as it went on. Piano mixed with mimicked shuttling of a passing. It was colorful and evocative of a transcendental past.

It reminded Tsukki of the rustling of the wind, trees and sunlight peeking through the branches of “The Spot”. His first adventure at “The Spot” when he was pedalling home after an afternoon spent at his volleyball youth group when he was 12 turning 13 on his first year in Junior High. He opted not to compete in his Junior High varsity team so his brother suggested that he sometimes practice with the adults from the town association to sharpen his skills in between his regular youth group. Practice had run later than usual and the sky was getting dark fast. He felt relieved that he didn’t have school the next day, so even if he had morning practice, he would have time to rest tonight.

On the last slope of the hill before he reached the street of his home, he heard a frantic pedalling from behind that threatened to derail his peaceful downward descent. He swiftly looked back to find Kaori Miyahara wide-eyed and struggling to control her bike at the frenzied speed she was going.

In a split second decision, Tsukki hit the brakes on his bike and swerved into the nearest wall he could find to prevent colliding with Kaori. He lightly hit himself on the wall, relatively unscathed. Kaori hastily pulled the brakes as soon as she made it down hill. She pressed so hard that she almost flew off her bike.

Tsukki pedalled down and told her to watch where she was going as she picked herself up onto her bike.

“Can you watch where you’re going next time? That was reckless and dangerous!” he told her off. He re-adjusted his glasses and put himself back onto his bike.

Kaori seemed shaken up and as she looked up to apologise to him her eyes were at the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry!” she said, bowing her head.

Her shoulders started shaking as she slowly lifted her head. Tsukki’s eyes widened. He was tall, even for someone who was 12, so even if Kaori was over 5 feet tall, she looked terribly small to him, especially when she cowered as she cried and pitiable. He held back his impulse to call her lame.

“It’s alright. Hey, look it’s not a big deal.” he nodded, dusting himself returning to his usual nonchalant tone. Kaori would not stop crying. He sighed and got off his bike.

“I said it’s not a big deal. Why are you still crying?” he said, scratching the back of his head in genuine confusion. He had never really made someone cry outside of a volleyball game before.

In between sobs, Kaori explained that she had an early day off from gymnastics today and she had planned to find a spot that overlooked Sendai City to see the sunset. Her friend had suggested a spot and gave her directions, but she was lost for over an hour. With her curfew in mind, she started panicking while trying to make her way home finally coming out into a familiar street just about 10 minutes ago.

“This has been a terrible afternoon!” she hissed in frustration, “I even brought my analogue camera and everything. and now I feel like I’m about to get in trouble for coming home late.”

Tsukki resisted the urge not to laugh. Kaori was crying and fuming at the same time, it was like she couldn’t choose between which emotion to feel first.

“Where is this place?” he said, trying to sound serious. After picking up Kaori’s bike off the road, he walked beside his own bike. “Enough biking for today, let’s walk home.”

Kaori described a spot right off the main road. She said it was somewhere uphill near a small park of sorts where one could see the view of Sendai from a mildly sloping patch of grass. Tsukki kind of knew the general area that Kaori described but he hadn’t been there himself.

“Why don’t you just ask your friend to go with you?” he suggested.

“Well, Yuhana-chan lives in the opposite direction of that spot. It’s very far from her house, she will need her parents to drive her there if she really wants to go.” Kaori thought aloud.

Tsukki offered to draw a map that she could use to get to the said spot for tomorrow after gymnastics.

“Should I pack lunch and just eat there after gymnastics?” she pondered.

“The spot seems nearer from home than your gym. Besides it might be too hot there if you go during lunch. Might as well just go first before you head out in the afternoon.

Besides, there is no way that I’m doing that map tonight, so you’ll have to come back for it after lunch.” he said, raising his nose at her.

Kaori, who was absorbed in her own thoughts about the next day’s adventures, was unfazed by Tsukki’s expression. If the spot seemed warm, she definitely needed to pack snacks and something to drink.

“Sure, thanks Tsukki!” she said heading to her house while waving at him, “See you tomorrow.”

Tsukki rolled his eyes at her. She seemed to have forgotten her day’s ordeals already. Kaori rolled her bike into her house and Tsukki rolled his bike into the side of their house. While he took off his shoes, his brother peered out of the dining room to greet him.

“Okairi, Kei.” he smiled warmly. Unlike Kei, Akiteru was warm, friendly and cheerful. He was affectionate and supportive of his younger brother, conscious that his brother looked up to him. Like Kei, Akiteru was a volleyball player and an ace in Junior High. Tsukki idolized him both in and out of the court.

“Kei, you’re later than usual. Did practice run late to today?” asked Akiteru.

“Practice was alright. Miyahara-san got lost and panicked. She almost crashed into me on her way down the hill because she was rushing home. She was crying for a bit and I didn’t know what to do so I waited for her to stop crying.”

“Oh, is she ok?” Akiteru’s face was marked with concern. He hadn’t expected something so serious to have happened.

“Yeah, it’s like she forgot all about it when she saw her home.” he snorted.

The boys’ mother called them for dinner and the two quickly washed up before heading for the table. After dinner, Kei insisted that his brother helped him practice his passes and receives in their backyard. As Akiteru was tossing the ball and instructing him to bend his knees some more, he asked more about Kei’s day.

“Kao-chan is a free-spirited ne?” he said, passing him the ball through an underhand toss.

“She’s so dramatic. She cries over nothing.” Kei sniffed, receiving his brother’s toss with perfect timing.

“Hmmm…it wasn’t because you were being mean to her or anything right?” Akiteru raised his brow, looking at Tsukki straight in the eye. His younger brother could be cold to kids his age. He felt that Tsukki didn’t have many friends not because he wasn’t likable or inherently a bad person, it was because he didn’t try to be nicer.

Kei hesitated and looked to the side.

“No!…” he exclaimed.

Akiteru raised both of his brows at his little brother.

“…no? Maybe?” he muttered crossing his arms grumpily, “I told her to be more careful that’s all.”

Akiteru laughed and hit him on his side, “Kei, you are a terrible liar!”

Kei cursed quietly. His brother knew him too well.

After lunch the next day, Tsukki knocked at Kaori’s door with the map at hand. She answered the door and peered closely at his map.

“I won’t get lost if I follow exactly this map, right? This is not a prank.” she said, examining the roads he had labelled onto the paper.

“Why would I make a wrong map? That’s too much work.” he said, sounding exasperated that Kaori had doubted him. He was waiting for her to deem the map usable; they stood on her front porch.

“Are you super sure that this is right?” she said, rubbing her chin with her fingers while continuing to inspect the map then peered at him.

“I’ve never actually been there.” he confessed sheepishly.

“I’ll just go with you. I kind of know where it is but I don’t know where the exact place is.” he added, “When I get bored I’ll just bike back.” He was curious what this spot looked like. His brother was in practice anyways so he had nothing better to do.

“Sounds fair,” she said, accepting his offer with her hands on her hips.

Tsukki went back home to grab his book, his phone and his bike. The two met just outside their houses and biked off with Tsukki in the lead. The path to the spot was long winding and a little off the main road. It was overwhelmingly uphill that Tsukki for a while wondered if they should’ve just walked.

After a few wrong turns, they finally found the spot. Just as Kaori’s friend described, there was a patch of grass and a glorious view of the city from a vantage point with plenty of trees. The summer breeze blew by gently. The sight took their breath away.

“Wow….” said Kaori under her breath. She parked her bike on the ground and took her things from the basket. Kaori outstretched her arms and smiled. The wind tousled her hair and jacket.

Tsukki settled himself under a tree and put on his headphones. He opened his book and folded his legs onto himself. He swiftly lost himself in his reading.

Kaori followed suit and sat near him. She pulled a bento box of sesame cookies and a thermos accompanied by two cups from her bag as well as her watercolor set, sketchpad and camera. Occasional gusts of wind would block her eyes with her hair, but she did not seem to mind. Kaori was busy being content.

When Kaori remembered the food she had set out, she tapped Tsukki on the shoulder and pointed towards the cookies. He took a cookie, thanked her and went back to the book. She poured herself some tea before standing up to take a photo of the view.

The two hardly talked while they immersed themselves in their separate worlds for the afternoon. Kaori sat painting away while Tsukki read with his headphones on. Kaori had packed her own music, but she decided that she liked the sounds of the wind rustling tree branches better.

As Kaori flipped through another page in her sketchpad, she looked up to see that Tsukki had fallen asleep with his hand on an opened book over his chest. She took another cookie and laid on her back. The light penetrating through the leaves of the trees filled her view. She held the cookie with her teeth and took a photo of the sky with her camera.

The click from her camera woke Tsukki from his light sleep. He blinked and turned towards her. Kaori took another photo of the sky for safe keeping - her film camera wasn’t always reliable.

“I like the light from here.” she sighed softly, “It’s like it’s leaking through the sky.”

“Isn’t there a word for that? Komorebi? The light that filters through the trees?” he yawned, picking up his book back up.

“Komorebi?” she whispered to herself. She liked it how it sounded and repeated it to herself a few more times. She stuck out her arms to see the shadows of the tree play on herself.

Tsukki went back to his book. She sat back up to continue to paint. They spent the afternoon on the grass, peaceful and unhurried.When the sunset became apparent, Tsukki began packing his things, preparing to leave.

“It’s time to go,” he said, “It’s getting late.”

Kaori had begun packing her things too. Her empty thermos was stowed beside the cups in her bag. She was carefully putting her brushes away then turned to him.

“Tsukki, but the sunset is just getting good. This is the best part! Can’t we stay a little longer?” she said, unable to look away from the magnificent gradients of the sky.

“I’m going to go ahead, you can stay.” he frowned, walking towards his bike.

“But I’m not sure I remember how to go home. Can’t we stay a little longer….please???” she pleaded, clasping her hands together.

“10 more minutes!” he sighed, sitting back down beside her.

Kaori brought out her camera and snapped a photo of the sunset oohing and ahhing its colors.

“Tsukki, you should have a photo with this view.” she insisted, shuffling him towards the front of the camera.

“Eh? No!” he said, standing his ground as she gently but firmly shoved him away from the tree.

“Come on, how else will you commemorate the discovery of this spot?” she said, poking his side, “Smile ok? Film is expensive. I can only take a few pictures, not like a digital camera.”

Tsukki begrudgingly humored her and smiled in front of the camera. Afterwards, Kaori asked him to take her photo too.

When the photos were taken and the camera was packed away, they headed back down the hill towards their homes. Kaori tried not to yell as her bike plunged down the steep hill. Tsukki biked behind her, afraid to bike in front her after yesterday’s mishap. He gritted his teeth and his bike accelerated into a speed that almost flattened his glasses against his face.

They biked quietly side by side after the hill. The ride was generally silent until Kaori spoke up.

“Thanks for today, Tsukki. That spot is the best place around here. You know I was starting to think this place was boring!” she beamed, “though I was thinking maybe next time we should just walk if it wasn’t so far…”

“We?! You’re planning to drag me here again?” he exclaimed, patting his hair back into place as he saw their street approaching. The sky was holding out its last light, turning into a light shade of purple.

“I mean you don’t have to come back, but I will keep going there and you can come if you like. It’s your spot now too!” she said, turning towards him.

Tsukki never had a spot to consider his before. He had his room, but that wasn’t really the same.

From then on, they knew that patch of grass as “The Spot”. Kaori would return to it. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Tsukki through the rest of her time in Miyagi. When she moved away, it was one of the places she missed the most.

“Kind of reminds me of The Spot…” he murmured, a little nervous as he spoke. Ever since he met Kaori in class, they haven’t really spoken about their past.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been there.” she wondered.

“Yeah, it has been, for us both but more for you I guess.” he said, turning towards her.

“Did you still go there after I transferred out?” she asked, turning to face him. Her eyes were wide and curious. He looked away.

He nodded, “Once in a while. The piece reminds me of our first afternoon there. It was a little windy, we watched the view. You painted and I read.”

Kaori looked the other way, “We’ve been there so many times, I don’t really remember the first time. It feels like all my memories there have blended together some days.” She sounded quiet and a little embarrassed that she couldn’t remember more.

“At the end of the afternoon, you took a photo. I took one of you too. We watched a bit of the sunset, but we had to go back and you had already asked for ten minutes.” he said, staring down pretending to look at the piece’s cover art.

Kaori kept silent, her hands on her lap. Leaving Miyagi was such a painful memory for her. She tried to leave her memories behind when she landed in Tokyo.

“Why choose to come back to Sendai? You seem suited towards Tokyo.” he asked, genuinely curious. He stared at her, puzzled that she willingly came back to a place that she admitted had brought her so much pain. Kaori was not one for rural and suburban living too. She was a city girl at heart. Tokyo sounded perfect.

“Two words. Scholarship offer. The university offered me a full-ride plus allowance. I didn’t have my National Team funding so it would be expensive to continue doing gymnastics on my own.” she admitted.

Kaori checked the time. They had a little more than an hour before the museum closed.

“Let’s breeze through the permanent collection,” she suggested, changing the topic.

——————————————————

Once Kaori’s feet hit the tatami of her apartment, she hurriedly went through her boxes of photos which she brought with her from her time in Miyagi prefecture and later Tokyo. She found a box labelled “Junior High”. After a few minutes of searching, she found a pile of photos labelled "Others" which she used to refer to any event that didn’t have to do with her family, school and gymnastics life.

Her fingers find two copies of the same photo of Tsukki with their first sunset at The Spot. One of the copies had writings on the back.

She had written “Thanks for bringing me here, Tsukki. We should go back!” in her script, signed with her name and the date. She must have meant to give this to him, but totally forgot.

The photo untangled their many memories in The Spot and brought back a rush of memories specific to their first afternoon: the light from the trees, the cookies and Tsukki falling asleep beside her with his book. It had been almost six years and Tsukki still remembered it all as clear as day.

Kaori picked up her phone to text him. “You were right, I did take a photo. I found it. Will bring it to you when we see each other at uni. Find me in the library tomorrow?”

In the next hour, Kaori sat on her floor and flipped through her photos from that spring. She played “Sudden Rush of Memories” by The Shanghai Restoration Project as she carefully inspected each photo to see if she remembered when they were taken and with whom. At each syncopation and rest in the music, she felt her heart stop as she reminisced on her past that she had buried when she moved to Tokyo. The nostalgia of her time in junior High mixed with memory of her injuries and her parents’ separation brought a wave of inexplicable emotions.

The next day Kaori was in the library trying to cram some study time between her last class and her training when Tsukki pulled out a chair across her and brought out his books.

“How did you find me?” she jolted up, visibly surprised.

“You sat at this spot the last time I was in the library, thought I’d find you here again.” he said in hushed tones, “and didn’t you tell me to find you in the library before your training?”

Kaori ignored his question and slipped the photo to him. Tsukki’s expression asked whether she was lending or giving it to him. She flipped the photo over to show him the writing.

“I had two copies made because I wanted to make sure you got your own. It’s yours now.” she explained quietly.

Tsukki carefully slipped the photo into one of his books and began studying. He had some time before his training began. They sat absorbed in their separate worlds, catching up with their school work and passing the hours of their afternoon allowed by their schedules with their books.

When Tsukki got home after his training, his brother had already laid out dinner on the table. He had made cabbage salad, and pork cutlet curry bowls on top of the usual miso soup and rice. Akiteru greeted him brightly and shuffled dinner from the kitchen counter to their dining table.

“Let’s eat!” he said, gesturing for his younger brother to come sit. Tsukki put away his things and brought out one of his books from his bag.

Tsukki nods. He quickly puts his sweaty clothes away. His usual bag was getting smelly, he aired out his books while on his desk. He brought out one book to read during dinner.

Akiteru noticed the photo slipped into the book. He pulled it out to look at it. He flipped it around surprised to see the handwritten note at the back.

‘Who took this photo?” he casually flips the photo surprised to find the writing at the back. He smiles a bit.

“I didn’t know you kept this after all these years.”

“I didn’t. I met Kaori the other day. She gave me this.”

Akiteru raised his brows, eyes widening as he inspected the photo. He hadn’t heard about her since she left. When she moved, he assumed it was permanent. What brought her back?

“She’s in Miyagi again?” he commented with a neutral tone.

“Sports scholarship offer from the university,” said Tsukki.

“We were in the same class last semester and I ran into her the other day. That’s all.” explained Tsukki, sipping through his miso soup. His tone indicated that was the end of the topic.

Akiteru nodded and backed away from the topic. His younger brother was not ready to talk about it. He put the photo down and began digging through his rice.

Kaori’s relationship with Kei was unique in many aspects. For one, he calls her by her first name despite his persistent habit of addressing his few close friends strictly by their last names. Kei had always been private about the time he spent with Kaori. Even when the two were close, Kei kept his stories and comments about Kaori to a minimum.

After chores and homework were said and done, Tsukki laid down on his bed. He took the photo back out and played “Sudden Rush of Memories” with his headphones on. The piece took him back to many an afternoon, lying flat on his back as the spring breeze gently blew by. He could hear Kaori’s camera clicking beside him. Closing his eyes as if he was back on “The Spot” for the first time, he placed his hand on his chest and dozed off into the night.

----------------------------------------------------

Read the rest of the chapters:

|| Chap. 2 (AO3) || Chap. 3

#tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tsukki #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines

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avengerscompound · 5 years

Text

Mixology - The Soldier and the Orphan

Mixology - A Captain America Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2905

Series Warnings: Angst, Character death, Breaking up and making up, past trauma, pregnancy, talk of abortion, smut (vaginal sex, fingering, other things)

Synopsis: Steve Rogers comes into your bar and after a night of flirting you take him home. When he leaves the next day you never expect to see him again.

A/N: This fic was written pre-Infinity War. Here’s where it deviates from canon.

The Soldier and the Orphan

Four months. Four months you wait without a word for the Avengers to return. The fight against Thanos for the Infinity Stones occurred both on and off planet. Sometimes you’d see Steve fighting in the far off distance in news reports, only to not see him again for weeks. Tony sent updates periodically to FRIDAY. At one point Clint was badly injured. He came back in a jet with Natasha who just dropped him with the medical team and ran. There was no time to fill you in.

You visited in with Clint regularly. He tried so hard not to worry you. Telling you the last time he saw Cap he was fine. That they were struggling but he hadn’t lost hope. The careful words he used made you feel more fearful than if he straight up told you they were losing. It made you feel like you were standing on a tightrope and at any point, you could plunge off. At least him being honest you’d know.

“Don’t worry, darlin’,” Clint said as you sat beside his bed trying to ply him for more information. He was drinking from a juice box that looked ridiculously small in his large hands. “He’s Captain America. He’s coming home. Look! I came home and I’m just a regular guy.”

“You only barely came home.” You mutter.

“Yeah, but like I said. Regular guy. Cap’s not a regular anything. He’ll be back for you. It’s all he talked about.” Clint assured you.

He crunched the juice box in his fist. “Ugh, I feel like I just stole my kid's lunch. Sneak me in a beer or something next time. Or better yet… Long Island Ice Tea. We can pretend it’s the prohibition.”

“You’re not allowed to drink on your pain meds.” You sigh.

He rolled his eyes and groaned. “That’s why it would be like the prohibition.”

Clint went home a couple of weeks after that. He was permanently out of the fight and he just wanted to be around his family. You could sympathize. You wanted the exact same thing.

By the time the Quinjet returned to the compound your morning sickness had gone away. You were starting to show a little, but you weren’t so big it was uncomfortable. All the test were fine, both you and the baby were healthy. If only the crushing weight of fear would go away.

You rush outside, running across the tarmac and as you get closer you start seeing them emerge from the jet. Tony comes first, followed by Rhodey, then Natasha, Bruce, Wanda. They look so exhausted and battered. Tony sees you and he starts running towards you. That action is when you knew. You knew.

You drop to your knees as he gets to you and wail. Crying out incoherently in anguish. Tony wraps his arms around you. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He says, stroking your hair.

His apology just makes it worse. You sob, loudly. It wracks your body. You can’t get control of yourself or bring yourself to do anything other than to succumb to the anguish you feel, sitting on the hot runway.

Tony lifts you and carries you inside. Taking you to the room that was Steve’s room and putting you into bed. You cry yourself to sleep with Tony sitting beside you stroking your hair.

He was completely obliterated. That’s what you got from them. He, Doctor Strange and some raccoon. A raccoon they said. It felt like they were making a joke out of it. How could he have been fighting with a raccoon? They were hit with an energy blast so large that when the dust cleared all that was left was a crater in the ground. You didn’t even have a body to bury. There was a memorial put up outside the compound. It nearly killed you having to attend the revealing of that. Here’s the permanent reminder of what happens when you’re determined to fight in battles in which you are ridiculously outclassed.

You weren’t the only one struggling with his loss though. They all were, to different extents, but none more so than Bucky Barnes. You and Bucky were inconsolable. You were also both completely alone and out of place with the Avengers. None of the others seemed to really like him. There was just this level of resentment and fear around him. He spent so much time alone. While the others tried to draw you in and make sure you felt like you had them to lean on, they at best ignored Bucky and at worst were openly hostile to him. Only Wanda and Sam seemed to tolerate him and show him any level of kindness.

You started to circle each other. Attracted to the shared grief and isolation. Neither of you really speaking to each other. You were each someone to be sad next to, so you didn’t have to be sad alone.

You were sitting in the communal living area together. The last of the others had just passed through the room off to work. You were now seven months pregnant and still had no idea what you were doing with yourself. You felt the strong need to leave, but you had no one anymore. No one except this group of friends of Steve’s. Many of whom had shown they weren’t exactly good friends and none of whom you knew particularly well.

“Why do they hate you so much?” You ask, as Natasha said goodbye to you and ignored Bucky all together.

“You don’t know?” He replies, looking at you sadly.

“I only know what Steve told me about you. Most of that was what you did as kids. I know that you were captured by Hydra and that he spent two years trying to find you. He never liked to speak to me about Captain America stuff. It’s why they don’t really know me well. I was Steve’s place to be Steve.” You explain.

Bucky reaches over and squeezes your hand. “I’m glad he had you.” He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “They don’t trust me. I was under mind control. I’ve openly attacked Sam. I threw him off a helicarrier. Natasha too, but worse. We have history. I shouldn’t say too much, because it’s her personal stuff but I was made to do things to her you wouldn’t do to an animal. Tony… I murdered Tony’s parents. It’s all justifiable.”

“You were under mind control?” You ask.

He nods but doesn’t look at you.

“So, it wasn’t really you.”

“I know. But it happened. They think it might happen again. It’s not always easy to forgive. I’m not sure that I deserve it if they could bring themselves to anyway.” He says.

This time you take his hand and squeeze it. “Why don’t you leave?”

Bucky shrugs. “I’m not allowed. It’s one of the conditions of me not being in prison that I remain in the custody of the Avengers. I’m basically their weapon now.”

Your heart breaks for him. What he’s going through is so much more than losing his best friend. He’d lost the only person who trusted him. Who saw him as a human being.

“Steve talked about you coming to live with us a lot. He wanted you back in his life so badly. He trusted you, Bucky. So I trust you.” You say.

He looks at you and smiles. “Do you think that when the baby is born you’d let me be part of its life? I mean like it’s uncle or something?”

“Of course you can be her uncle. Steve wanted that. I think they’re going to need someone other than me.”

“Her?” He asks, his eyes going wide.

“Yeah. I’m having a girl. Do you think Steve would have been excited to know that? I sometimes wonder what his reaction would have been to finding out.” You reply. Tears start slipping down your cheeks. You wipe them away in frustration and Bucky moves closer to you putting his arm around your shoulder.

“He would have been really excited, doll. He would have been ecstatic.” Bucky soothes.

You rest your head in the crook of his arm, not realizing how badly you’d missed physical contact with another person. “She has the hiccups. You wanna feel?”

He looks at you with eyes wide. “You can feel that?”

You take his hand and place it on your stomach. A moment later it twitches as your daughter hiccups inside the womb. Bucky grins at you. “Oh wow. That’s so weird. Poor little thing probably has no idea what’s going on.”

Out of nowhere grief just takes hold of you. Bucky’s genuine interest and concern for your unborn baby just reminds you of how Steve was never going to get to be part of this. That you have been and are completely alone in this. You break down in loud, uncontrollable sobs and get up, intent on heading to your room to escape your embarrassment and how vulnerable you feel.

Bucky gets up and stops you with a hand on your elbow. “What happened? Did I do something?”

You turn to face him, trying to get yourself under control. “How - am - I - supposed to - do this?” You ask. Your words coming out in short burst as you sob. “He was - supposed - supposed to be here. I’m so alone.”

Bucky wraps his arms around you and holds you against his chest. Holding you as you release all the grief you’d just been sitting on in an attempt to stay strong for the past three months in one go. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t need to be alone. I’m here.”

“It’s not the same.”

Bucky shakes his head. “No. I know. But you aren’t alone, doll. You’re not.”

Bucky is as good as his word. By your ninth month of pregnancy, he’s attended every visit to the medical wing with you. He’s seen every ultrasound. He’s catered for every craving. He rubs your back when you complain about back pain and your feet when you complain about them. He’s not Steve and he never will be, but he’s there for you and you both need that person so badly.

The closer and closer you get to your due date the more and more it becomes clear that neither of you belongs in the Avengers compound.

You knock on Tony’s office door and he waves you in like you’re bothering him. He spins in his chair and puts his feet on his desk. On his window sill is a sketch of a monkey on a unicycle that looks like something Steve drew. You frown when you take your seat.

“What’s up, sad sack?” He asks.

“After the baby is born I’m leaving.” You say.

Tony sits bolt upright and puts his hands on the desk. “Hey, hey. Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

“I don’t belong here, Tony. You know it. I know it. Everyone does.” You sigh. “It would be different if Steve was here. But he isn’t and we all need to start realizing that.”

“He told me to look after you.” Tony implores. His reaction is like you’re causing him physical pain.

“You have been looking after me. I don’t plan on going far. I can’t exactly run like I did last time. I have someone else I have to consider now. But I don’t belong here. I do need …” You stop short of saying him. “The Avengers. You were his family and I don’t have any. But I just need my own place away from this.”

“You’ll stay nearby?” He asks sounding relieved.

“Of course.”

Tony puts his feet back on the desk. “Alright, well let me know what you need to set your place up. If that’s it…”

“I’m taking Bucky with me.”

His feet come down and now when he looks at you he looks furious. “I don’t think that’s going to work at all.”

“Why? Why not? He’s miserable here. You hate him. It would be better for everyone.”

“Are you two?” He waves his hand at you.

“No.”

He once again seems relieved. “Good. Good. So why do you care?”

“He’s Steve’s best friend. You think Steve would want to see him like this? Just let him come with me.” You implore.

Tony spins in his chair so he’s facing out the window. “I can’t. Both he and Wanda have to remain on Avenger’s property unless on a sanctioned mission. It was the conditions of his release.”

You take your phone out of your pocket and open up your web browser before sliding it over to Tony. “This is a four bedroom two bathroom house for sale just on the edge of town, about half an hour to the compound. It’s $185,000 dollars which I think you will agree is pocket change for you.”

He picks up the phone and looks at it. “Are you suggesting that I buy this house and register it to the Avengers just so Barnes can live with you in it.”

“You owe me. Let’s not pretend you don’t. You owe him too.”

Tony slams his hands on the desk making you jump. “I don’t owe him shit!” He yells. “He killed my parents!”

“No. He didn’t.” You say, calmly.

“I saw the footage. It was him!”

“You know that’s not true. Not really. And what does it matter? You won’t have to have him around anymore. Won’t that be better for you?” You ask.

He just stares at you not saying anything. You stay silent too and you don’t break eye contact. Eventually, he breaks.

“Fine.” He says turning back away from you. “I’ll make it happen.”

You get up and walk around the desk putting your hand on his shoulder. He turns and you hug him. He’s startled, to begin with, but his arms wrap around you. “Thank you, Tony.”

He grunts and holds you for a little longer before letting you go. “Okay, get off me. You’re crushing me with that giant belly of yours.”

You smile at him and ruffle his hair before going to find Bucky.

You find him in his room lying on the bed listening to music with headphones in. You lie down next to him and he pops an earbud out of his ear and smiles at you. “Hey, waddles. What’s up?”

You punch him in the arm and he starts laughing. It might be the first time you’ve ever heard him do that.

“You’re such a jerk.” You say.

Something passes over his features and he frowns for just a second before his smile returns. “You’re oddly not the first person to tell me that.” He shifts his body so you’re resting on his bicep. He feels warm and you snuggle down against him enjoying the contact. “Did you need something? Or just felt the need to get into bed with me?” His metal hand strokes over the large curve of your belly.

“Don’t even joke about that. I’m so fucking horny at the moment. You’d be crushed under me.” You groan. You look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath. “When the baby is born, I’m going to move out.”

Bucky’s face falls. “I - I thought we - that you’d let me…”

You put your hand over his mouth silencing him. “You want to come with me?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I can’t. They won’t let me.”

“I talked to Tony. We worked something out. You’d still be under house arrest. But it would be our house away from the rest of them.” You explain.

His face lights up and he leans in and kisses you. It’s just an excited press of his lips against yours but it feels so good, a little part of you wants it to be deeper. You shake the feeling off and while you watch him the lights suddenly go out behind his eyes and he frowns again. “Just as friends though?”

“Yeah. Just as friends.” You agree.

“Because you’re Steve’s wife. I like you, doll. But I couldn’t do that.” He explains.

“It’s fine. I miss him too.” You say. “And even if I was ready to move on, which I’m not. He was an anomaly for me. I don’t do relationships. They’re messy and they hurt. I broke my own promise to myself with him and look where that got me. Broken hearted, widowed and with an orphan about to enter the world.”

“You shouldn’t close your heart off like that,” Bucky says, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You deserve to find happiness.”

You shrug. “I don’t think that’s how it works. And I have to believe it doesn’t work like that because if what I’d been served over the course of my life has been what I deserve I must be the worst fucking person on the planet.” Tears threaten to break again and you rub your eyes. “It’s the way it is for me. From now on it’s me and the baby. I’ll try and make sure she doesn’t grow up as damaged as I am. Maybe she can get the happy ending that was denied to me.”

Bucky pulls you against him, holding you tightly to him. “We can get that. I know we can.” He murmurs. You decide for his sake you won’t correct him.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #angst #smut #mixology #the soldier and the orphan

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beatricebidelaire · 5 years

Text

to elaborate on the kit and r and bertrand and frank (and sometimes ernest and very occasionally dewey) play bridge at a room in hotel denouement regularly headcanon

they played at the hotel weekly, usually saturday or sunday afternoon. sometimes they played pair tournaments or team tournaments in The City. while in the case of team tournaments at most 6 players were allowed per team and they could rotate and switch which 4 players get to be on per round, they usually just registered for 4, though occasionally they would switch one denouement out for another in secret but it’s not like other teams would realize.

when playing at the hotel, most often, kit and r partnered and so did bertrand and frank, though they occasionally mixed things up a bit as well. in team tournaments most of the time they went with the same pairings. however, when frank was busy with hotel business and r was busy handling duchess duty, kit and bertrand sometimes went out to play pair tournaments themselves.

kit and r had a very detailed convention card with lots of different and sometime artificial conventions used on top of natural 2/1 system as basis. they had also discussed many different bidding scenarios that they thought would come up and r had an extensive and organized list written in her notebooks about different bidding sequences they’d discussed and different conventions they’d tried and which worked well and which didn’t and boards they’d played before. kit kept the printed out results of each board from the tournaments in a special folder, along with some notes about different conventions she’d typed out using typewriter.

kit and r liked trying out new conventions they’d discovered or seen people proposed and also sometime the ones they came up with themselves. their convention card was constantly updating due to this, usually adding in more stuff but also taking away the ones they’d agreed that didn’t fit them.

bertrand and frank’s convention card looked quite different to kit and r’s, mostly because they didn’t play a lot of newly introduced artificial conventions because frank generally liked to stick to traditional ones that have been used by lots of people for a long time. frank also thought that a lot new stuff some people were using they were just doing it to be trendy and those weren’t actually that good which bertrand agreed was true for some of the conventions, he also felt some of those were actually good and could be really useful while bidding. but when he tried to convince frank, most of the time frank didn’t cave.

kit and bertrand also had a convention card since they played in pair tournaments together sometimes. the system they played was similar to what kit and r played, and it looked mostly liked kit and r’s except with some latest new convention r and kit were trying taken out, but also adding in some things that kit was interested but r, after trying, didn’t think it was for them, and some conventions bertrand wanted to tested out how effective those were but frank wouldn’t agree to. they were usually quite flexible in testing out some totally different things and sometimes even switching to completely different systems such as the precision, but agreed that they still liked natural 2/1 better, though they would play that once in a while just for fun and also for better understanding of what decisions the opponents using precision might make.

when frank and r played they usually just used the same system as what frank and bertrand played, and since frank did not play most of the elaborate conventions r was using at the moment r sometime would try to make a bid and then remembered oh frank and i didn’t play that i need to bid naturally here, though sometimes the natural bid expressed her hand better, and she would remember this kind of sequence and the hand she held and discuss with kit whether they need to reconsider on the convention they were using or make slight changes to it to make it more useful and cater to more cases.

the system r and bertrand played were actually quite similar to r and kit’s one as well, or just a subset of it but slightly different from what kit and bertrand played. which did not happen very often because kit and frank did not particularly enjoy partnering because they disagreed on which convention s to use a lot and then went ahead and bid what they thought they should’ve agreed on but did not come to a conclusion, and also frank felt kit’s style was too aggressive at times with tendency to overbid. (which was not an issue with r because she was familiar with kit’s style and played with her enough to take that into account and still fairly able to get a good grasp on what kit’s card holding might be like during the bidding phase, plus r liked to say that since she was conservative in bidding kit’s style balance her out. it was similar with bertrand and kit as well.) kit and ernest actually did enjoy partnering together style-wise but due to personal principles they liked to pretend they didn’t. dewey only played very very occasionally and said he preferred to watch the others play.

in carding during defense, kit and r played udca and then lavinthal for notrump contracts, frank and bertrand played the standard for all, and while bertrand did not particularly mind either standard or udca he did quite want to play lavinthal because he thought it was quite a clever design and felt effective as well but frank refused to play “some fancy carding just because it looks clever”.

while it was generally not easy to convince frank to try out new bidding conventions bertrand did manage to succeed a couple of times, like when he made a list of pros and cons to convince frank on a competing against opps opening 1NT system he wanted to use and while frank initially resisted he reluctantly agreed that covered lots of cases and seemed effective. he also convinced frank to switch to answering the spot of King rather than the numbers when responding to 5NT which frank admitted was useful in deciding slams. they’d tried out bergen once and got some very mixed results and after two weeks of trial bertrand had to admit frank was probably right about not using that.

after playing with frank for years, bertrand had learned how to increase his chances of convincing frank something. mostly because he tried playing a convention with kit first and testing it out extensively and then making the pros and cons list which he discovered more easily appealed to frank, and he learned that random new conventions that probably wouldn’t work out but he wanted to try for fun would be immediately rejected so he knew to leave those out.

ernest, on the other hand, was way more flexible than frank and when he and bertrand partnered it was like more like when bertrand and kit, they liked testing out different conventions. like k&b they also sometimes bid something quite risky when they felt it had a certain chance to work out, which admittedly wouldn’t always work well and for some hands would be disastrous (which wouldn’t be so disastrous if they’d bid standard/normally). bertrand said he liked playing with both of them but enjoyed it differently though kit thought he probably enjoyed playing with ernest more and it was hard to say which one of them was right.

when declaring, frank and kit both had probability table of card distribution memorized in their head, from the most basics of 3-3 being 36% chance and 4-2 being 48% to some extremely rare cases, and they also memorized the play with the highest chance to win the number of tricks they wanted with a certain combination for lots of different combinations. bertrand and ernest and r memorized only the exact chance of the most basic and most often seen distributions, but they felt they didn’t need to know the exact number in every percentage they just needed to know which distribution’s possibility was relatively higher to decide which route to play. and they could usually figure out most of that by deduction and counting some possible combinations in their head and visualizing the probability. frank and r were best at figuring out opponents’ card distribution as a board progressed. kit and bertrand and ernest were not quite as good as them in that aspect, but they were more proficient in false carding as declarer and making plays to mislead the opponents.

#asoue #kit snicket #r duchess of winnipeg #bertrand baudelaire #frank denouement #ernest denouement #vera.txt #headcanon #brotp: f for friendly e for evil #brotp: sharp bluntness meets artful avoidance #hotel denouement bridge session tag #brotp: pencil bun and strawberry blond

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amandaoftherosemire · 5 years

Text

Lightning Strikes Part Five

Fandom: Marvel Avengers AU

Pairing: Thor Odinson X Reader

Characters: Thor Odinson, Loki Odinson, Bucky Barnes

Author: @amandaoftherosemire

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 5,280

Format: Series (Complete)

Warning: Language.

Summary: You spend time with Loki.

A/N: The first couple parts of this was written a while ago for @buckysforeverprincess 500 Follower Writing Prompt Challenge. Not consistent with Marvel canon. I have willfully and deliberately ignored the events of Infinity War. The Statesman made it to Earth after a largely uneventful journey and everyone is FINE. The only thing I’ve taken from Infinity War is Stormbreaker because it’s cool as hell.

I want to thank everyone who sticks with my fics since I’m terrible at updating regularly. I also want to thank everyone who leaves feedback or sends me messages about them. It really does encourage me to write. I might not have stuck with this if someone hadn’t dropped me an ask about it. This seems to be only true for me, but I have no problem with being asked when I’m going to update as long as you’re not a dick about it. 😄

This one took me some time until I stopped trying to make Loki do anything. It sounds weird but after a while I started thinking the real thing was fucking with me for daring to think I was in charge.

Part Four: Idolatry here

Antithesis

Several weeks later you sat at your desk in your office at the compound and tried with all your might to focus on one of the worst parts of your job. Full of legalese that proved to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that half the lawyers in the world only existed because the other half did, you were knee-deep in some bullshit. Reading documents like this was literally your least favorite part of the job description.

And it certainly didn't help that the author of the document was a member of the legal department with whom you were unfortunately familiar. You'd made it a point to not drink that heavily at office events since. The man may have been hot, but he was also an arrogant, pretentious fuckrag.

You couldn't help but be preoccupied. The Odinson brothers were driving you to distraction, though for very different reasons. You were running on fumes at this point, but you didn't know how to stop. Between the two, you were only getting a few hours of sleep a night even if it was only in making up missed work. Neither man was very good with the concept of deadlines or limited amounts of time, though Loki was the far worse of the two. You imagined you could thank Thor's time living on Earth, not to mention his sweet nature, for his greater consideration.

Thor. When he was there, he was quite possibly perfect. Funny and good natured, he was a joy to be around the vast majority of the time. Most of the time you spent together he seemed determined to wring everything he could get out of every minute with you. It was delightfully intense, because it wasn't just sex. Honestly, you'd have preferred it if it was, because he was sweet, and charming, and scarily intelligent, and you were terrified you were falling head over heels in love with him.

When he was there, he was the perfect companion, attentive without being overbearing, energetic without being exhausting, sweet without being cloying. He was also one of the most interesting men you'd ever met, a veritable fount of knowledge with an easy willingness to impart it. He had great stories, and a somewhat dramatic way of telling them. On top of that, he was a great listener, eager to learn everything you'd tell him about yourself, your life, your world. You'd yet to spend a boring minute in his presence.

When he was there, he made you feel like no one ever had before, like you were glowing from the inside out. He didn't just make you feel special, he seemed to think you were remarkable, as though he'd never even imagined someone like you. Aside from his myriad attractions, the outrageous body, the dreamy smile, the sweet and generous nature, that wonder at the reality of you would have been irresistible on its own. He sometimes had a look in his eye like he couldn't believe you were real. The idea that someone as extraordinary as Thor, considering where he'd come from and all that he'd seen, could find you not only astonishing, but delightfully so, was captivating.

When he was there, he couldn't seem to keep his hands off you, as though he thought you the sexiest woman on the planet. Not only was he ready, willing, and eager to go to bed whenever and wherever, he'd happily spend all day at it if you'd let him. To your amused chagrin, you'd now had sex in any number of rooms in the compound that you'd never even set foot in before. He was an utter hedonist, deeply sensual, basely sexual, and without an ounce of shame in his entire gorgeous body. Being his lover was both exhilarating and exhausting.

When he was there, you forgot all the reasons you should not fall in love with Thor Odinson. When he was there, you couldn't think about anything but the fact that you were happier with him than you'd ever been before. When he was there, you let tomorrow worry about itself and lived in the moment.

As he made every moment a shimmering jewel, as every moment dazzled you, seduced you, destroyed you, it was dangerously easy to lose yourself in him. When he was there.

That was the thing, though. He most often was NOT there.

Which you got. And not in that bullshit way where you say you get it, but you're only saying it because you know you're supposed to. You actually got it. You knew Thor had more than you could imagine on his plate; busy didn't begin to describe it. That he took the time he did to spend with you wasn't just flattering, it had the romantic corner of your heart sighing dreamily.

Unfortunately, when Thor wasn't there, which was most of the time, you were entirely too aware of how doomed your relationship with him truly was. Whether you looked at the differences in your circumstances, the distance between your homes, or the insanity of your lives, there was no way this could possibly work long term; you were sure of it. When you added in the fact that he was a king, a god, a hero, it was just getting ridiculous.

Lastly, there was the terrible thought you'd had once in the middle of the night that you never let yourself think again but that sat in the back of your brain like a goblin, snickering and waiting for its chance to start gnawing on your mind. You'd first thought of it when you were once again alone; Thor had left the afternoon before and your bed was suddenly depressingly cold and lonely. After hours of sleepless worry about all the other things bound to go wrong, you'd had a thought so awful, of an obstacle so insurmountable, you'd immediately wrapped it in layers of oh hell no and stuffed in the darkest corner in the smallest, darkest closet of your mind. If you didn't think of it, you could allow yourself to enjoy this glorious fantasy until something else destroyed the dream.

You'd had the thought because of Loki, actually. Not because of something he'd deliberately pointed out, but an offhand comment regarding something that happened when he and Thor had been children. The story had been funny, and Loki had a way of drawing you in, but a tiny detail had stuck inside your mind like a bur. That detail chafed, keeping your brain scratching at it until you came to the realization that ruined your hopes and broke your heart. Like an oyster with a grain of sand, you'd started covering that thought in layers until your mind could glide over it easily without any scraping or stumbling.

Loki, on the other hand, was always there, both when you wanted him and not. He acted as though he had decided you were the only person in the compound he could stand for more than a few minutes. You suspected he liked plenty of people way more than he let on, but he seemed devoted to his persona of smug superiority. Unfortunately, this meant when Loki got bored, he came looking for you. Being forced to behave himself and stay in the compound did not amuse or entertain him so he came looking for you a lot. As a matter of fact, he came looking for you all. the damn. time.

You adored Loki, truly. It wasn't that you objected to spending time with him. It was that you could not make him care about the fact that you had other things to do. He had no qualms about interrupting your workday, no matter how many times you asked him not to, leading to plenty of afterhours catch-up. He thought most of what you did was stupid, so he didn't give two shits about getting in the way of it. It was strangely admirable, his dedication to not giving a fuck.

The problem was that Loki didn't cause as much trouble when you were catering to his whims and dancing attendance upon him. To be fair, Loki didn't really cause trouble; it was more that he subtly arranged circumstances in favor of the most dramatic or disastrous outcome. He loved to sit back and watch fireworks he'd personally arranged. When you'd confided your difficulties in Pepper, she had assured you that time spent placating Loki would be considered work time if for no other reason than that it gave everyone else a break. At her direction, you had been spending most of your time at the compound to make it easier for you to tend to him and make the team members' lives a little easier while Loki was in residence.

Which is how you knew, when he strode into your office with an air of impatience, you'd be giving in to his whims after a sham refusal you'd enact purely for form.

"I’m bored." Loki burst into the room the way he did everything, with an arrogance that bordered on contempt. Perhaps it was a sign of something wrong with you, but Loki's attitude, rather than offending you, perfectly tickled the perverse part of your sense of humor.

You didn't even look up from your paperwork. You were entirely too familiar with this tune to do more than absently bob your head along with the beat. You scoffed. "I care."

Loki stared holes in the top of your head, not that it ever seemed to bother you. But then you often reacted in unexpected ways. Is that why he kept scratching at you? If he could understand you, predict your behavior, would you finally bore him as much as most humans? "Why, exactly, do you do this?" he asked, as he settled into one of the chairs in front of your desk.

"No, it’s fine." You rolled your eyes but kept your eyes off Loki. You knew from experience that once you looked at him, he would consider the acknowledgement as validation and you'd spend the rest of the day answering his questions. "I’m not trying to parse legalese right now or anything."

Loki stayed silent. He refused to repeat himself. Also, he'd noticed that his silence seemed to exasperate you faster than anything else. He examined his cuticles while he waited for the quiet to do its work.

For a while, the only sound in the room was the brush of fabric as either of you shifted position and the whisper of each turn of the page. You often printed legalese like this out so that you could mark on it without the risk of sending something like 'who the fuck does this asshole think he is?' to the asshole in question. You vowed to keep doing it, if for no other reason than that it was so much more dramatic than rolling a scroll button on a mouse.

You could tell by the quality of the hush that settled over the room that Loki was in one of his more difficult moods, meaning that he would only get more and more petulant the longer you put him off. Though you hated to do it as a matter of principle, you knew giving in would cost you far less time and annoyance than pretending to allow him to irritate you into paying attention to him. The pragmatist in you would not allow you to stand on principle when there was no benefit to you other than self-righteousness.

You gave an exaggerated sigh as marked your place in the document with a quickly scrawled LNA, your code for Loki Needs Attention and the current time. Pepper had asked you to keep track of how much time you were spending dancing attention on the Asgardian prince, though you didn’t include the time you gave on your off-hours.

You placed the document into a file folder, closing it carefully and placing your interlaced fingers on top as you made it clear you were focusing on Loki under protest and with utmost exasperation. "Why do I do what?"

Loki smiled inwardly even as his face moved into a sneer. "This!" He swept his arm out to take in the room they sat in. "Labor for these people?"

"Okay." You infused as much doubt as you could into the word. You looked around at your very nice office and decided not to ask what exactly he found so distasteful. "Two reasons. First, I love the things money can buy, like food and shelter and liquor. Second, because I’m fucking awesome at it. We done?" You lifted your eyebrows at him in the kind of bored disdain you knew he'd find most challenging, and thus most entertaining.

Loki matched your tone as he stood to wander the room and examine the furnishings. He did this every time. "I’d ask what you do in here, but frankly I don’t care."

You shot him a toothy grin and a beam of sarcastic cheer. "Great. Bye."

Loki didn't deign to answer this time. He knew he had you now. He could almost hear your mind rationalizing the decision to simply give in and give him what he wanted. In his experience, it was always best to let people manipulate themselves. He meandered over to the bookshelves, as he often did, where you had books and photographs taking up most of one long wall. Some of the books were work related, but plenty were from your personal collection.

Every time he came into this room, he liked to take a different book down from the shelf and skim through it. Your preferred reading material told him a great deal about you. Loki needed to understand you if he was to accurately assess the situation. He also liked to examine a different photo in the hopes of deciphering why you smiled like a lunatic in every picture you were in. He suspected it was something to hide behind, similar to his own superior smirk.

Loki eyes slid over the titles, looking for anything somewhat interesting that he hadn't already tried. He found human society largely boring if not aggravating, but he couldn't help but enjoy the art. He considered it mostly primitive, but with a raw energy that made it compelling. The depth and breadth of human art was the most impressive thing about the species, he thought. Not that that was saying much.

You were already bored watching him amble around your office. "Oh my god! You win; I don’t want to fight." Loki turned away from the bookcase with a smug smile. You laughed as soon as you saw it and rolled your eyes indulgently. "I’ll make you a deal. Give me an hour to take care of the most pressing matters, and at the end of that hour, I will set everything else aside to cater to your whims and find something to entertain you." You leveled a wryly amused look his way; you were both convinced you were outwitting the other but if you were honest the two of you just liked the drama of it.

Loki's face spread in a wickedly pleased smile and you couldn't help the little twinge of attraction that shimmered through you. Hell, you were faithful, not dead. Fairly gloating, Loki turned to leave. "I’ll be back in an hour."

"Outstanding,” you replied with a thin smile.

As Loki opened the door, Bucky was raising his fist to knock on it. The two men glared at one another for a moment before Bucky rolled his eyes and stepped back, sweeping his arm out in a mockery of gallantry. Loki sneered but walked by without comment.

"Hey, doll." Once Loki was out of the way, Bucky poked his head through the door. "You got a minute?"

You replied with a flirty smile and batted eyelashes. "For you? Always." Bucky smiled sweetly as he came in and shut the door. He looked a little uncomfortable as he took the seat Loki had recently vacated. "Uh-oh," you said with widened eyes and raised brows. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. Is it?" Bucky was still looking a little uncomfortable, but his eyes shone with concern. You were baffled.

You looked around, your expression serious but a touch confused. "Is this a riddle?"

Bucky's face softened into a smile. "I don't see you anymore; I miss you." He leaned forward and placed his hand palm up on your desk. "If Thor isn't here, Loki is monopolizing your time."

"You have no idea," you replied with a laugh as you leaned forward to place your hand in his. You squeezed gently and would have let go if he hadn’t held on. You frowned and tilted your head. “What?”

Bucky didn’t smile, and you realized that whatever this was, he was serious. “I'm worried,” he confessed, and you could tell he was concerned that he was crossing a line. This was new territory in your friendship and such things always caused Bucky a ton of anxiety.

You felt a pang of remorse that you’d forgotten about your other friends when the Odinson brothers had come into your life. Bucky was incredibly dear to you and you knew how difficult he sometimes found living at the compound. He'd once confessed that half the time the only thing keeping him there was Steve. You sometimes suspected he relied upon your company a great deal as well, not that he'd ever said anything. You couldn't help but feel guilty for being so distracted.

Bucky let go of your hand when you stood up and walked around the desk to sit in the chair next to his. You leaned back casually and crossed your legs, hoping to make it clear by your demeanor that you did not consider the subject off-limits or over the line. “About Thor?” you inquired with a sassy smirk. “Or Loki?”

“Truth be told, both,” Bucky replied with a wry laugh, “but Loki is the more immediate threat.”

"Well, love, I have good news and bad news." You leaned your elbow on the chair arm and placed your chin on your fist. "The bad news is that Loki would drive you all mad if I didn't keep him somewhat occupied. The good news is that he's not a threat, just a pain in my ass." You dropped your hand to Bucky's forearm and squeezed gently. "I know you don't understand this, but I like Loki.'

Bucky looked down at your hand, surprised to find that it didn't bother him that you were touching his metal arm. Perhaps it was because you hadn't seemed to notice. "Why?" he asked, his voice rich with a wealth of confusion, doubt, and amused disbelief.

You laughed and used the hand on his arm to push at him. "I like smartasses. Why do you think I'm madly in love with you?"

"Fine," Bucky smiled, but his eyes still looked worried. “Just promise me that you won't make the mistake of trusting him.”

“I'll thank you to not insult my intelligence,” you scoffed in reply. When Bucky didn’t answer, just continued to watch you carefully, you rolled your eyes and answered with a wry half-smile. “Oh my god, I promise.”

“Good.” Bucky relaxed into the chair with a wicked grin. “Now, you wanna tell me everything about Thor?”

Your expression turned sly as you shot a matching grin his way. “How much time you got?”

A few days later your office door flew inward with a slam as Loki’s voice rang out. “Y/N!”

You, once again, did not bother to look up from your work. “Sure. Come on in. I'm not quite obviously terribly awfully busy or anything.”

“I don't even know what odd human things you do in here, let alone why it matters.” Loki moved to the other side of the desk and looked down his nose at you from his towering height.

You shrugged and murmured absently, “Since you're asking—"

“I most certainly am not.” Loki cut you off with a sneer.

You finally looked up at Loki, blinking to bring yourself back to the present. “Did you come in here for an actual reason, or did you just need someone to pay attention to you?”

“How is that not an actual reason?” His lips twitched ever so slightly, something you'd learned was one of his tells. He was in one of his playful moods, which was surprising considering how put out he had been the day before when you'd opted to spend your evening with Steve and Bucky. Loki had hidden it well, but he'd been irritated under the disdain when he refused to join you.

The corner of your mouth curled up just a hair as you responded. "Loki, to your astonishment I’m sure, catering to your moods is not actually in my job description."

Loki, ever mercurial, turned away from you to walk to your bookshelves. "If you’re certain you don’t have any time for me; I suppose I can amuse myself."

"I know that’s meant to send a chill down my spine." Your voice was dry as dust, but the genuine amusement came through loud and clear. "And it does, but it is not the policy of this office to negotiate with terrorists.”

"Pet," Loki's voice had taken on a strange timbre when he said the word, and it sent a literal shiver down your spine, but whether it was fear or desire you weren't entirely sure. "I’d much rather annoy you than someone else. The others aren’t as much fun."

You opted to put the sensation out of your mind. If it was fear there was little good dwelling on it would do for you. If it was desire, dwelling on it would most definitely make things worse. You answered as though his voice hadn't taken on an almost seductive tone. "If you will behave yourself for the rest of the morning, I’ll take a long lunch and give you my undivided attention the whole time. Deal?"

Loki smiled.

After you'd eaten a quick lunch, you drug Loki outside to enjoy the sunshine. Once you'd flopped down onto the grass and braced yourself on your elbows to tilt your face to the sun, you slanted a raised eyebrow in his direction. "Okay, spill. What’s your deal?"

You had your eyes closed against the light, but you could hear the sneer on his face loud and clear. "I beg your pardon?"

"Loki," you began and there was a wealth of patience in your tone. You opened one eye to fix him with a gimlet stare. "I am neither naïve nor stupid. Why are you paying so much attention to me? Is it because I'm banging your brother?"

The sneer twisted from arrogance to disgust. "For reasons that currently escape me, I actually enjoy your company." You gasped dramatically and let your muscles go limp, dropping to the ground in a mock faint. Loki rolled his eyes even as his mouth twitched. "I know. I was shocked, too."

You opened your eyes and looked up at his amused scorn. Though most wouldn't understand why, you were deeply touched. This was probably the nicest he'd ever been to a human. You smiled at him, and for once it was utterly genuine and sincere, with no sarcasm or disdain to hide behind. "Loki, are we friends?"

Loki watched you out of the corner of his eye. He had long ago learned to hide his true feelings behind whatever mask suited his needs best at any given time. He had seen in you the same tendency for all you hid behind careless charm and a sense of humor. Until this moment, however, he hadn't suspected that you hid a tender heart.

He had thought you were one like him, cynical, cold, careless. To find in your open and unguarded smile something sweet and wholesome explained one conundrum even as it raised a whole host of other problems. He felt a tiny twinge of remorse, a rarity for him even these days. He sniffed. "No. You're my pet."

"Then I expect you to start bringing me presents and treats." You closed your eyes again and spoke archly. You could tell something bothered him and assumed it was his discomfort with anything resembling sincerity or sentiment. "If I'm going to be a pet, I insist on being a spoiled one."

Loki turned his head to look at you properly. He could tell immediately what you were doing and found it both disarmingly sweet and deeply disturbing. You were far too perceptive for you own good and he still had many, many secrets to protect. "You are wasted on my brother. You know that, right?"

You hated when he did this. You steadfastly refused to discuss with Loki whatever was happening between you and Thor. Though their relationship seemed easier than you’d expected, considering the stories you’d heard from others, there was still a tension between them you didn’t understand and neither man seemed interested in explaining.

The few times Loki had commented on your relationship with Thor, he’d made it clear he disapproved. You also steadfastly refused to ask what exactly he disapproved of. You allowed Loki to tell stories from their past, but you would not talk about your present. It felt… disloyal. To both of them.

“I do not. Your brother doesn't waste a bit of me.” You kept your eyes closed but let your lips curve into a satisfied feline smile. “He uses every part.”

The horrified silence that followed had you prying one eye open to glance up at Loki. You immediately burst into fits of wicked laughter at the look of disgust and loathing you found on his face. “Why would you say such a thing to me?” he asked, his tone rich with disbelief and a hint of hurt.

“You're being a dick,” you replied with a careless shrug and a challenging grin when you’d stopped laughing.

Loki expression hardly changed, but his face took on a sinister cast that had a chill running down your spine. For the first time since you’d met him, you truly believed him capable of the things you knew he’d done. “He'll never truly appreciate you,” he mocked, both sly and cruel, “because he'll never truly understand you.”

You yawned, deliberately, as his words and demeanor were making you sick to your stomach. “You make me sound so complicated and mysterious.” You closed your eyes again, a deliberate dismissal. “It’s dumb, but I dig it.”

Loki made a sound somewhere between a scoff and a snort. “You may be able to fool those like my brother too dull and blind to see what you really are, but don’t insult me.”

“And what am I?” Your voice was harsh as you asked the question, and you sat up to look Loki full in the face. You were holding onto your temper with both hands; only the knowledge that he would love to goad you into a tantrum restraining you. “Really?”

“A realist, like me.” Loki was well aware of what he was doing. He turned his head and looked out across the grass at the main building. He wondered what it would take to truly set you off and considered it necessary to find out. “You don't concern yourself with what's right, but what's expedient.”

You frowned. This wasn’t what you were expecting, and you weren’t sure how to proceed. He was being insulting, but in a way that made you question whether that was his intent. “I prefer to think of myself as a pragmatist,” you said slowly. Your somewhat warped sense of humor rushed to the fore and you laughed as you pushed at his shoulder, not that you moved him even a little. “And I do so worry about doing what's right. I just take what's expedient into account, too.”

The corner of Loki’s mouth lifted in a small smile. Your casual shrug as you said the last only proved his point as far as he was concerned. “You also have a talent for reframing things in your favor. Of shuffling words until you're in the right. I admire that.”

“So, you're saying I'm too good for your brother because I’m too much like you?”

“No,” he chuckled. “He's too good for the both of us. I'm saying he'll never comprehend your true worth because he's too good.”

“Okay.” You weren’t sure how he’d managed to drag you into this conversation. Now that you had been, however, you desperately wanted to know why. "For the sake of argument, let's assume that I accept your premise. What's your fucking point?"

Loki finally looked at you, one brow raising in mock surprise. "Do I need one?" You raised a matching eyebrow, but yours was skeptical. Loki narrowed his eyes, his expression turning menacing. "I’m somewhat fond of you. I don’t think I’d enjoy seeing you in pain."

Unable to help yourself, even knowing you'd end up paying for it, you snickered outright. "I have bad news for you, Loki. It sure seems like you’re my friend."

The look of disgust Loki shot your way had you erupting into gales of delighted laughter. Worth it.

You never did get a straight answer out of him, but that was only to be expected. Loki could give lessons on inscrutability. You opted to file away the conversation for further contemplation at a later date.

Even though you weren't entirely sure why Loki had given you what you assumed was a warning, you were sure that Loki never did anything without reason. The reason may seem batshit crazy to you, but it was there. If he felt the need to speak on the subject, he had a purpose. However, you also couldn't discount the possibility that he was simply fucking with you for his own entertainment.

Regardless, you put it away, knowing you’d end up obsessing on it in the middle of the night during some bout of insomnia when Thor wasn’t there to exhaust you into sleep.

The next day you burst into the common kitchen in a towering rage, holding something sparkling and pink. You flung the thing at Loki’s feet, your entire demeanor pure, unbridled fight me. Pushing your face into his as best you could considering his height, you pointed imperiously at the ridiculous thing he'd left in a beautifully wrapped gift box on your desk. You shouted, your voice practically booming through the room and turning all heads your way, "Did you gift wrap a fucking leash?!"

Loki was as close to speechless as he ever got. The sight of you in a full-blown temper was something truly magnificent. Your narrowed eyes sparkled with rage and your lips parted to let furious huffs of breath through. He found it interesting that passion, whether from anger or desire, made you beautiful.

Rather than say that, however, Loki’s lips curved in an amused smile as he replied, “I thought you want to be spoiled, pet.” His expression shifted into a mockery of innocence. “Is this not what you meant?”

Loki braced for the explosion, certain he’d pushed you into losing your temper completely. Instead, the humor of the moment struck you with such force that you couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up inside you. He’d somehow acquired a cat collar that spelled out your name in rhinestones, for fuck’s sake.

As your expression melted from furious insult to genuine merriment, Loki felt another of those annoying pangs of remorse. It really was too bad. As humans went, you’d just become one of his favorites.

Part Six: Crucible here

Taglist: (Tags are open)

@lbouvet @rocknroll-is-thewaytogo @chook007 @quickies-with-quicksilver @deinopis @daylight-saver @rishlo @pebblesz892 @bibliophile1773 @bojabee @knightofreaders @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @666nunslut666 @lilulo-12 @tabbytyler @sunigyrl @hellzzzbelle @suz-123 @cheekygeek05 @pancake-pages

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tinfcomic · 5 years

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Okay, so first of all, congrats on 8 years! That's amazing, and a wonderful comic! Since it's been going so long, I wanted to ask, have you always had such a nice readership? I've been running a comic for 2 years now, and as much as I do it for myself, sometimes it's kinda hard to keep enthusiasm up when you only get 1 or 2 notes on a page. Is there any way you kept yourself going, even when it seemed like no one was paying attention? Again, love the comic and congrats! :D

Hi anon ! Thank you so much!! 😚💕🎉🎉🎉

That’s a really great question! I’ve been fortunate that TINF has always had super nice readers, but it did start out as mostly my group of friends...... LOL 😂 the amount of readers I’ve had has seemed to fluctuate up and down since then, and generally I can’t tell if I’m doing better/worse since numbers stay similar in general, so I definitely know how you feel! Especially since I think TINF is one of the smaller (yet older LOL) comics on the hiveworks collective 🐝

It’s important to remember that a lot of readers don’t comment, like, reblog/RT, or interact with posts. It’s very common; we’re all busy, like to read quickly or check the comic on a day that differs from the comic’s update days, or something like that. It might seem lonely, but notes =/= readers. I know for a fact that more people are reading than you think! 😁💕

I have a few things that have really helped me while working on TINF!

Always stay passionate about the work you’re creating! When you feel really excited about your ideas, you don’t ever regret working on them, even if no one else is noticing. I love to joke that TINF is an elaborate fic I’m writing, which... yes. It might as well be, and I love it LOL. Whenever I’m genuine with my work, every reader feels like a special bonus because they’re just enjoying my self-indulgence, which blows my mind. 😂 It makes sense to want validation from others, but I’ve found that when I truly enjoy the content I’m putting out, I shift from being like, “this is good, how come people don’t like it?” to “this is good, and if people don’t like it, they’re probably not the types of people I want interacting with my comic anyway.”

Another tip for this is, are you enjoying whatever you’re uploading? I found when I’m not feeling great about my pages is when I want more validation, and when I’m bored with a scene is when I get down on myself. But readers have the same interests as us--if it’s boring for you (I don’t mean the art, I mean the content), it’s most definitely boring for everyone else--so indulge yourself and speed up the scene if you want to! You’ll feel proud of working hard, for problem-solving as much as you can, and for doing your best, so no one else will matter. 😍 People close to me will tell you that I spend hours figuring out what I want to show on each page, because I get bored so easy, and I hate feeling like a page was a waste of my time drawing/reading it. I don’t know if I’m successful at it, but I’ve gotten to the point where I generally like what I come up with, so I’ve done all I can and I’m satisfied LOL.

If you’re really down, if possible, share your work with a good friend! I always share everything with my bff @thrynnie! She gets excited with me so it feels satisfying as long as the two of us are enjoying it 💕

Acknowledge that, as a webcomic artist (one of the few privileges we have as small content creators 😂 but it’s an incredible one), you’re creating for a niche group vs the general public. Once you believe that your work will only appeal to you and the people similar to you, not having the attention of the general public will make sense and also not really matter. At one point I was like, “what if I’m alienating allo people with my work?” That’s funny, Nicole. HILARIOUS !! Everyone’s welcome, but not everyone will be interested. It’s all good.

Be consistent and active! I feel good knowing that I’m consistent because I know I’m doing my best to make my work accessible. Even if no one clicks my update, I’ve done my best, and maybe I’ll get their attention if I keep going! And, I know for me personally, when I see a comic updating consistently and on time, I’m much more willing to take time to read it. 😉

I also noticed that readers interact much more when I’m active on social media and are less active when I’m inactive. Readers LOVE extras! I don’t have time for extras lately (cue all of us crying in unison), but that’s when my readership is bountiful. So beautiful.. gorgeous.. fabulous 😭💕 just like our friends, they get excited with us and will play along with us when we do more than just update pages consistently. So enjoy yourself and be passionate, the fun readers will eventually join you! 😍💕

It should be noted, too, that the readers who send asks are not always the same as the ones who +likes posts and the ones that reblog aren’t the same as the ones who interact on twitter. Try posting your updates across multiple platforms to reach different people!

And, lastly, be the webcomic artist that you‘d like to support if you were a reader! I find myself easily supporting those who I feel have similar goals to me, but maybe I just feel comfortable with them. 😂💘

This is just as an observation, but since passing TINF’s 8th anniversary, I’ve had many comments about people who’ve read TINF for years. Some of them have been reading for 3 years, 5 years, 8 years in it’s entirety. Not all of them comment or interact with my posts regularly, though! These people are providing me with consistent support and they’re my strongest foundation, so it’s beneficial to really never focus on the numbers we see. 💕

I hope that helps!! I found that, in the past, even though I thought my comic was for me, I was trying to entertain or convince too many people of something, which set me up for failure. Catering to myself (in a way that’s readable to others) has proved to be way more beneficial and I feel excited to keep going, even if others don’t notice. But when they do notice, they’ll be your good readers. 😁💘

If this wasn’t very coherent or you have more questions, please let me know! Best wishes with your comic, don’t give up, and make it everything you love! XOXO 😚💘💘💘

#this is not fiction #tinf #tinfcomic #ask #anonymous #long post

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canquecha-blog · 5 years

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How a VA Can Effectively Manage Your Facebook Page

When you think of Instagram, you think of trending hashtags, famous pictures, and catchy captions.

Instagram has certainly peaked regarding its organic activity when we saw an increase of social ads and brand marketing back in 2018. According to the Social Media Examiner’s 2018 Social Media Marketing Industry Report, Instagram has jumped from being the #4 most popular platforms for marketers to being #2. What this entails is that marketers, businesses, and entrepreneurs have now discovered the rewards of being part of the platform and are now using it as a means to promote their products and services. Now, it is one thing to have a page of your business or company on Instagram, it’s another to use it effectively.

This is where our virtual assistants come in. As part of their job descriptions and depending on the tasks delegated to them, they can handle several of a business’ social media outlets, such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram. Now if you’re a businessperson with all the necessary social media outlets but don’t know where to start in social media engagement, it’s best to hire a trained virtual assistant. Many of them specialize in a specific skill set within an industry and work according to your specifications for the job. They reduce workload stress and keep things organized to yield an efficient outcome for your company.

Most VAs are tasked with social media management, which means they are expected to work on the promotional value of the business while the full-time staff can work on bigger projects from an already existing pool of clients. As this improves the overall productivity and time management of the entire company, it also lets the virtual assistant focus on smaller details that can significantly boost the business’ presence online. One of those details involves Instagram engagement.

Why is Instagram engagement so important?

Simple. It’s business. If you want people to notice you, you need to get in with what’s trending. Nowadays, what’s trending is Instagram. Most businesses assume the followers are what keeps you on top of the trending page but it’s not entirely true. It’s a combination of followers, likes and comments, which play a role and affect your Instagram engagement rate. So in order to raise your engagement, you need to make sure you have a dedicated following to your page and consistent likes and comments to your content.

Not only is Instagram part of the trend but it is also a practical method to get noticed by people. Accordingly, 80% of the users follow some type of business online with 72% of them purchasing a product they noticed on the site. If you play it right, you’ll be able to follow the same line of statistics. However, it takes a lot of work to do so. You’re going to need the necessary effort and consistency to reach the same success other small businesses have garnered.

But there’s an issue here—you might not have the time to do so, especially since businesses and companies are constantly working on updating their products and services. This is why most of them hire virtual assistants to do social media management and to keep the workload off the full-time employees. VAs take the unnecessary weight off your shoulders and push you to work on more important matters. Because social media presence should not be ignored or pushed aside, it is absolutely vital to find quick solutions in regards to capturing the attention of your audiences through one glance at your Instagram page.

What are the ways you can get more Instagram engagement in 2019?

1. Post content regularly

Photo by Jeremy Levin from Pexels

Nobody wants to follow a dead business which is why it’s crucial to plan your schedule on what, when and how often to post content. Being active online can keep your followers hooked and interested to what you’re posting. However, there are a few things you need to keep in mind when you plan a post and what you should do to avoid spamming your followers’ feed. These are:

a. Follow your specialty.

If you’re a business selling software products, you need to make sure most of your posts cater around the software theme. The reason you have followers in the first place is that they thought your product was interesting and relevant to what they were looking for. Posting content not directly related to your business can hurt the way your audience perceives your page and make you lose subscribers.

You can recruit VAs who have skills in visual design to create visually attractive content to your audience while also following with the overall theme. Delegate tasks that require them to create a brand both eye-catching and memorable. Because Instagram appeals to the visual perception of its users and relies on pictures telling a story, it’s crucial to keep your followers interested with what you have to post.

b. Know when to post.

This is something you can quickly figure out with the help of Instagram’s “Insight” feature. It allows you to see when your followers’ are usually online on their devices. Have your VA consider this and assign them to post during these hours. It makes it easier for your content to reach other people and to see a product that might interest them into buying.

c. Know how often to post.

There is such a thing called too much content. While you might want to seem active for your audience, you need to do so in a way it won’t be classified as spam. Most users who become increasingly annoyed with being advertised or shown the same product tend to unfollow or block the page. You don’t want a similar scenario to happen so it’s critical you instruct your VA to keep content systematic and scheduled.

2. Use hashtags for visibility

Photo by Lum3n.com from Pexels

When users post online, most of them use #hashtags in their captions. This gives visibility to their content and allows other people to view what they posted. The more hashtags you generate in your posts, the more it appears on the “Explore” feature on Instagram. The users who are following that same hashtag will see what you’ve posted on their feed and if they like what they see, then they’ll tap on the “Follow” button right under your page. You can also use this to your advantage in researching on which hashtags involving your products are popular. Ask your VA to do this for you and you’ll expect to see results soon after.

3. Write the right captions

Captions complete your post. They add information to what you’ve just posted and can help generate comments from your followers. Having more comments mean an increase in engagement rate. Of course, there are several tricks to catch the attention of the audience and to push them to like and comment on your content. You can post two pictures of your sample products and ask which one your followers would prefer. Not only will you accumulate a number of replies in the comment section but you will also figure out what are the things your audience is looking for. Have your VA apply this the next time they post content—it really does help in improving your engagement rate!

4. Engage your audience

Communicating with your audience is a good way to keep them interested and satisfied with what you’re posting. However, the level of engagement you want to have requires constant uploading of posts and regularly talking with their audience. You can even use Instagram stories as a way to directly communicate with your followers in the forms of polls, questions, and many more. If you don’t have the time to do this, the quickest solution is an expert VA experienced in the field.

Social media has relatively become a new form of marketing strategy in the millennial times. Gone are the days of cold calling a random stranger, or plastering advertisements on bulletin boards and door-to-door sales pitching. What doesn’t work anymore will fail to impress a technologically advanced era. What works for other people can definitely work for you too. In light of this, virtual assistants have swept the marketing industry in a flurry of optimized business opportunities and high engagement rates. Don’t settle for just an Instagram post that rarely gets updated—hire somebody to do it for you and watch as all of your numbers in followers, comments, and likes exceed your expectations!

#instagram #instagram engagement #socialmediamarketing

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playeroneplayertwo · 5 years

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The Ten: 5.19

It seems a good icebreaker, or as good an icebreaker as any, to lay bare my top 10 of all time. Clear the air, so to speak. Get to know each other. It’s fair to say that this may be a make or break moment for us. Hopefully, I won’t lose you. Let’s see.

This is a list I imagine I’ll update periodically (which is why it’s dated), as my wife Kathleen (Player Two) and I play a lot of games, and a lot of new games. I’m a notoriously curious and searching type, and I love trying new games, sometimes to my wife’s chagrin. More often than not, my spare change goes to new games for the house. New games that make a splash tend to spike pretty high and then slowly fade. It’s not a great trait to have, especially in someone who tries to speak or write critically about quality (ie write reviews). But being that I’m aware of this, I hope that tempers it at least somewhat.

Anyway, where’s the list, you say? Here we go:

1. Brass: Birmingham (2018)

Oh boy, it’s a new one. Cult of the new? To be fair, Kathleen and I have played this game fairly regularly for the last eight months. By our third play or so, I knew it had locked itself into my top spot. I’d done a fair bit of research on the OG Brass (now Brass: Lancashire) prior to purchasing Brass: Birmingham, and by the time I eventually took the dive and purchased Birmingham, I was as excited to try it as I was unsure we’d actually enjoy it. At the time, it was the heaviest game we’d played, and it also relies heavily on route building–it’s in fact one of the most important parts of the game. I mention this because tactical spacial elements are not Kathleen’s forte. In fact, it’s one of her least favorite mechanics.

This is a good time to tell you that Kathleen and I think (and play games) very differently. Kathleen is a strategic player, relying on long term planning and execution to maximize scoring/performance. I, on the other hand, do not make long term plans. I find it not only remarkably difficult, but also unenjoyable. I’m a short term/tactical player. On my turn, I’m more likely to look over the board, get a lay of the land, and make the best, most advantageous play available to me at that moment.

Brass: Birmingham remarkably manages to cater to both of our play styles, which is one reason it ranks so high. Birmingham presents a myriad options for players to pursue. You’ve got a whole pile of different factory tiles you can build, a whole mess of locations or regions to move into, and about as many different strategies to pursue on your way to the end game. I don’t think I’ve ever played the same game of Brass: Birmingham twice, nor have I ever pursued the same options. The card play means, for me, that I will go where the cards lead, and I find using these cards as a guide to build my engine incredibly satisfying.

2. Covert (2016)

Dice placement. For some reason, this mechanic sounds incredibly unappealing to me, and I think it’s because it’s literally a portmanteau mechanic consisting of the worker placement mechanic using dice, two individual mechanisms that I seem to enjoy less and less. Dice I tend to avoid for their randomness (yes, I know that’s the point), and Worker Placement, in it’s most stereotypical application, I find frustrating. Why can’t I just put my worker wherever I want and just run my engine? Being stymied in a worker placement game just annoys the hell out of me.

So why do I love Covert?

It’s a pretty straightforward points race built around mission cards that have specific requirements. And using the dice as workers seems a fairly typical euro mechanism, but what I like about Covert is how puzzly it is. When you place your dice workers, they’ll be placed on round tracks with spaces numbered 1-6, and you won’t be able to place a die unless it’s adjacent to another die. In this case, you can do anything you want, but only if you plan correctly and work well with the other players. It becomes an order of operations puzzle, which may frustrate some, but I love it.

Also, I can’t get enough of that spy theme. And the production is fantastic.

3. Eldritch Horror (2013)

Ah, Cthulhu. For being the spawn of such a troubled person (HP Lovecraft), I find Cthulhu’s mythos and surrounding universe positively enthralling.

But dice! Ugh yes, this is a huge, sprawling, long, and [sorta] bloated game that is built all around a very simple dice rolling resolution system. I have no way of justifying why this doesn’t bug me, but it just doesn’t.

Maybe I’m just a sap for the theme (Indiana Jones + Cthulhu = Win). Or maybe it’s nostalgia, considering this is the game on my top ten that I’ve played the most and had the longest. But, if I try to dig into the real reasoning here, it’s probably because this game manages to give you a big, rich, story-based experience that feels like an event when it’s over. Yes, it’s the biggest, longest play session on this list. But I love every minute of it. Even those maddening bad dice rolls.

4. Lord of the Rings: The Card Game (2011)

A long time ago, Kathleen and I came to this hobby via Magic: The Gathering, the deep, long standing king of the collectible card game. Magic is a great game, but it brings out the worst in me as a gamer. Playing Magic makes me both a bad winner and bad loser. Frankly, that’s a terrible combination. Why would you want to play with me at all?

This obvious problem led us to cooperative board games. If I’m gonna lose, why don’t I just lose with you. That’s a refreshing change of pace!

And speaking of losing, hey let’s talk about Lord of the Rings: The Card Game. The word used most frequently when talking about this game–by me and pretty much anybody who’s ever played it–is PUNISHING. And yes, it’s punishing. Kathleen and I have played a few punishing euros at this point (feed those people), but this is something else. Get a few bad card flips from the encounter deck and you’re suddenly up to your eyeballs in LOTR baddies. Orcs and goblins? Oh hai. But your dwarves or hobbits or whatever are never really out of it. Smart deck building (and luck) definitely has carried us out of the tall grass on more than one occasion. And there’s something to be said for a game as well balanced as Lord of the Rings. More than once, a game has concluded on a turn where we either win or lose based on that single turn’s outcome.

The theme doesn’t really do much for me, but I took the dive on this game because it looked like a well-designed and well-supported cooperative card game (of which there really aren’t too many). It’s stood tall over the years, and I hope it continues for a while. When I first played Arkham Horror: The Card Game, I figured it would knock this down a peg or two. But the designers’ ingenuity in the LOTR quests and encounter deck designs has been (for me, at least) a much more rewarding experience.

And I appreciate a cooperative game where you actually lose more often than you win. It seems a rarity in the co-ops we have.

5. Great Western Trail (2016)

I’d heard and read so much about this game prior to purchasing it that I almost didn’t even want to get it (which is exactly how I feel about Concordia and Trajan, subsequently). I dig the cowboy theme, but beyond that, I’d pretty much phased out all the actual details on this game’s gameplay.

But yeah, it really is good. Ya’ll were right. I love games that are heavy but are built around simple gameplay, and Great Western Trail epitomizes that. One your turn you move your cowboy on the (effectively) huge rondel board and then take an action on the space where you stop. That’s it.

The beauty of the game comes from the remarkable breadth of options you can pursue. Using cowboys to buy cows, hiring engineers to move your train and build stations, hiring carpenters to build buildings and busy up the board, and completing objectives are some of the main tasks you’ll be focusing on, and what really clicks for me with Great Western Trail is that it’s a tactical player’s dream. The board is constantly changing, and as it changes, so must your plans. The objective cards steer you somewhat, but you’ve really gotta cut your own path across the wilderness here.

Oh, and I love deckbuilding as a sort of side dish mechanic. It isn’t always enough to sustain a whole game, but it’s great as a single piece of a pie.

6. Gloomhaven (2017)

All right, so this big beast has moved all over my ranking in the year+ since my first game. I won’t lie, it sat at #1 for a while. Then it slid a little, then a little more. I mean, it’s still at #6, so it’s not exactly plummeting. It’s the Board Game Geek #1 game of all time (as of this writing), and it’s hard to say if it’s deserving of this (and if not, what deserves the spot instead). Again, this is so subjective, and games like this or Scythe tend to be lightning rods for people who want to take a shot at the new hotness.

But yes, it’s good. It’s very good. I’m not as enamored by the sprawling nature of it as I was, nor the campaign, but being a person who loves variety, it’s scope is certainly a nice bonus. But after you haven’t played it in a while, it becomes a HUGE box that takes up a whole shelf and is a bear to set back up. And even though the box is 20lbs and takes up a whole shelf and the game takes 20+ minutes just to set up, the card play in Gloomhaven is just stellar. I love that this is essentially a tactical minis game with a euro engine. Tactical minis games rank incredibly low on my chart o’ interest, but this game takes that standard tactical minis expectation and smashes the shit out of it.

Despite its niggling flaws, it’s an excellent game.

7. The Exit Series (2017-?)

This is the last co-op game on my list, and I just looked back and saw that there are four on here. I was just talking to Kathleen about how much I’d rather play competitive games instead of co-ops, and apparently I said that in a moment completely lacking self-awareness. Also, this is a cheaty kind of entry considering we’ve played at least eight Exit games.

Remember when I said that I liked Eldritch Horror because it was an event game that provided a big, rich experience? Well, the Exit games give you a meaty, brainier experience in a slightly shorter time period. There’s not much story–despite the designers really trying to cram one in there–but I’ll always love Exit because it’s become our Date Night game. Kathleen and I will get some nice booze, take out food, and sit down with a new Exit after we put our son to bed. The experience can be frustrating–remember we think very differently, but each experience has always been something to remember (except the Secret Lab; what happened in that one?). Special props to Exit: Dead Man on the Orient Express, in particular.

The puzzles are really satisfying when you crack them, especially after working on them for a while. We take longer than average to do these because we resist those hint cards as much as possible, so our games can stretch. But Exit should be an event, and when savored like one, it doesn’t let you down.

Also, if you have concerns about the value of an Exit game, if you look at it as an event (like going to the movies or *cough cough* playing T.I.M.E. Stories), it’s actually a very good value. Recycle it!

And finally, yes, Exit trumps Unlock any day of the week.

8. Glory to Rome (2005)

That Glory to Rome is out of print is a cryin’ shame. Our copy isn’t even a real copy, I printed a crappy DIY version at Staples and then cut and sleeved them with old Magic commons. Our copy looks bad, is cut unevenly, and has eery MTG watermarks shining through the thin weight paper, and I couldn’t care less. This game is awesome. It’s got about a million different combos that are all seemingly game-breaking, but the fact that everything is so powerful is really what makes this game so exciting.

Multi-use cards are one of my favorite mechanic, and this game is completely built around them. And like any well-designed game that is build all around cards, the design of this never leaves you feeling hamstrung by bad card draw. If you’re doing badly at Glory to Rome, it’s your fault. Sorry. You haven’t found the combo that will win the game for you. I can say this because I’m terrible at Glory to Rome, and I know it. That’s not saying I’ve not won before. I have, but more likely than not it was because I accidentally stumbled onto something good.

Like Brass: Birmingham, no two games of Glory to Rome are the same. There are so many cards in the box, and the subtle sense of humor that permeates some of the cards just tickles me (please see: latrine).

It’s fast and exciting, and giving you options on other players’ turns is also one of my favorite mechanics. I’ll happily play and lose Glory to Rome anytime.

9. Nippon (2015)

Full disclosure, this is the newest edition to this list, and Kathleen and I have only played this a few times, but there’s something about this game that really fascinates me.

At first blush, it feels like Brass, but it’s not. Like Brass, this is an economic engine, but it doesn’t allow the multi-turn build up to The Big Turn like Brass. Then I thought it was a little like Great Western Trail, but it’s not really like that either. Great Western Trail presents a ton of options, but by the end of the game, you really need to work on all of them, at least a little bit, or else your score will suffer. Nippon, however, doesn’t make you do a little bit of everything. There are a number of elements in Nippon (like trains), that can be all but ignored except for certain circumstances. It’s a game built around area control via slow burn engine building. A number of other elements to the game are very specific tools you can use to hone that engine, but could just as easily prove useless under the wrong conditions.

This may be misdirected musings by someone who hasn’t played the game enough, but it feels right to me. The last time we played, I came to the realization that the game felt so fraught because I was trying to do too much. The game presents you with a large amount of avenues to pursue because you don’t actually have to pursue them all; you can’t, there’s not enough time in the game (or money!). You need to choose your actions and build the best engine as quickly as possible.

Nippon is a cutthroat fight that feels both wickedly fast and frustratingly slow at the same time. Special bonuses for completely subverting the worker placement mechanic with its own implementation that runs the whole game. It’s a puzzle that I have relished greatly.

10. Star Wars: The Card Game (2012)

Two Fantasy Flight LCGs on the list? Sweet Christmas!

But yes, this is a great game. I’m not sure it ever got much love, and it saddens me that it’s now dead, but it’s such an interesting design. That it does a fine job of simplifying deck construction is just a bonus.

I appreciate that Star Wars feels like a game of high stakes gambling. The first few turns are slow and quiet as you work through your deck and build your forces, but once conflict erupts, everything tends to break wide open. Each decision you make has massive repercussions, as single large mistakes will lose you the game. Add in some actual bluffing and a ticking clock, and this is the simplified and streamlined (if safer and less wild) version of Doomtown: Reloaded, another card game that I absolutely love.

But where I think Doomtown ultimately fails, Star Wars succeeds. The game doesn’t get bogged down in complexity, and instead feels relatively streamlined considering its medium weight. Every time I play this game, I’m impressed by how smart Eric Lang’s design is. I feel like he played a ton of Magic: The Gathering, and then he removed all the things that bothered him (and bothered me, too).

I think this game is overlooked and underplayed, and dare I say forgotten, but for my money, it’s absolutely worth revisiting. And played over and over again.

Please remember, this list will change. Check back occasionally to see how. If you have any questions or opinions of your own, let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Eric (Player One)

#top ten #board games #board game #great western trail #gloomhaven #brass birmingham #star wars card game #nippon #glory to rome #exit #eldritch horror #lord of the rings card game #covert game #covert

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badasscrossstitch · 6 years

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Channeling My Rage...

Good Morning Friends:

I am going to channel my outrage into what I hope will become a positive public discussion around copyright in the social media and digital age. Let me start by saying, in most cases I believe people either don’t know or just don’t think about their use of other people’s art, images, words when it comes to “sharing” on social networks or online. I never assume malintentions. I do my best to gently educate folks on copyright and crediting when I see my work used without a shout out or some acknowledgement that I created it.

In this new era, I believe we need to be having conversations about how to respect the creative work of others while also uplifting it and honoring it – through sharing. Plagiarism is an important thing we teach in school. You can be kicked out of college for plagiarizing someone. I believe we should be deeply considering and having meaningful discourse about “sharing” on social networks. What does “citing a source” look like today in terms of social media?

These insidious little moments of sharing without citing the source might seem silly to some, but I argue they lay the groundwork for much more egregious plagiarism or just straight up theft. Let’s explore a case study that is happening right now and has led me to want to write this article.

LASULA boutique is an online clothing store that seems to cater to both the UK and US markets. It is “home to the latest fashion flashes from across the globe.”

Based on my research, they appear to make what I call “disposable clothing” that is modeled after whatever some celebrity wore that week. I call it “disposable clothing” because it’s made cheap and fast in developing nations in order to create clothing that is “in fashion” for a moment. It’s not meant to last as it is usually “out of fashion” in a few weeks and you dispose of the items and have to buy more.

Their online reviews, depending on where you look, range from 5.8/10 starts to 1.7/5 stars; most reviewers speaking to the shoddy quality of their products. But hey I’ve never bought anything from them so who knows.

What I do know, is that they took my design and stitched it onto jeans, used my name in the product description, and sold them for 22GBP (roughly $30 USD) on their website.

I also know that they posted a photo of said jeans on their Instagram, which has 723,000 followers, which earned them 3,329 likes, without crediting or tagging me (gee I wonder why). That doesn’t even include the posts by their paid brand ambassadors. I spoke with one and she had no idea the design was stole and then graciously archived her post.

To be clear: I DID NOT know about this. I DID NOT give them permission to use my design or my name. I DID NOT sign a licensing agreement. I DID reach out to them via Instagram yesterday and have not heard back from them.*update: I heard from them...more on that in a few days*

Perhaps now you can see why I want discourse around this.

The piece of art I made that is now “famous” I guess, was created when our shitbag president said “grab ‘em by the pussy” on film AND STILL GOT ELECTED PRESIDENT. But that is not when that piece got famous. That happened when celebrities shared it when fuckbag Harvey Weinstein got called out and taken down.

I got over 1,000 requests via Etsy and Instagram from folks who asked me to stitch them one and/or “put it on a shirt” so they could wear the message around. That led me to: create a FREE embroidery pattern so that those thousands of people could stitch their own to wear or gift to others. I also created a RedBubble shop with some products with the design/expression on it so folks could wear it loud and proud – I have always clearly stated that I make NO PROFIT off of this. I donate all of the proceeds (which is like $2 an item because I chose to keep the price point as low as possible for buyers) to the nonprofit Advancing Justice | Chicago. To date, we have raised just over $1,000 for the organization through the sales.

Profiting off of this message and this moment is NOT something I am willing to do. I have been very clear about that. So the fact that LASULA (and many others as you will see below) are stealing my work to attempt to profit off of is UTTER BULLSHIT. They are slapping MY ART onto jeans and are selling them to you as a “fashion flash”… whatever the fuck that means.

They used MY NAME in their product description without my permission…no doubt thinking that was them being “thoughtful” or “citing their source”.

Here’s the deal, I teach classes at Columbia College on how to protect creative works, write licensing agreements and contracts, and how to protect your name, brand, and art. I would be a really shitty teacher if I didn’t use this moment to bring this to light.

I am angry that my art and my name have been coopted to make this company money.

I am angry that they are selling women the idea that a piece of my art that represents the women’s movement should be stitched onto the butt of skinny jeans and paired with “a bodysuit and some boots for the ultimate babe vibe.”

The part that I am grateful for is that I know my rights and I have a digital community that regularly has my back. So many artists do not have that. They are making incredible art and are REGULARLY being ripped off and their work exploited by fashion companies who apparently can’t seem to afford to hire artists.

I MUST stand up; not just for me but for every other creator whose work is being bit-for-profit and their objections aren’t being heard or listened to.

My website states:

What does that mean?

It means that I created this art for you to use to make your own art. If you share your art with the world all you have to do is credit my art too. If you post it on Instagram for example, you would say something like: Pattern by: @BadassCrossStitch – it’s like citing your sources. And you know I’m going to double tap that and share the love! (win/win)

It also means that you can’t sell the work without my permission. Here’s the deal, if you are an independent artist or crafter and you want to stitch a piece or two to sell at a craft fair or on Etsy – you have my permission so long as you clearly state the pattern is mine. I extra approve if you give a portion of your profits to a nonprofit doing great work for women.

No one has my permission to use my work on a large scale (making more than 3 pieces to sell, or any advertising, or commercial applications – you know billboards, t-shirts, jeans, mugs, and shit like that) without my written permission. Businesses, brands, ad agencies, and the like (should know better) and should definitely not be biting my work. That said, I’m totally down to talk about all sorts of applications but it will require a contract, licensing agreement, and dollar bills y’all.

Cool? Cool. Thank you for supporting and respecting the work of artists! You are badass.

I am not an unreasonable human. I create art to inspire other people to create art. I do NOT create art so companies can exploit my work and profit from it.

Think I’m exaggerating? Check this out:

That is just from a simple google search that took me 3 seconds. I still have $40,000 in student loan debt. You think I couldn’t use the money? OF COURSE I COULD!

*takes deep breath*

My friends, thank you for reading this. The only call to action I have for you right now is to please have an IRL conversation with someone today about this idea. Talk about how you share things on social media. Talk about what you think crediting a creator looks like. Talk about plagiarism in the digital age – what does that even mean? Let’s have conversations around this NOW. Let’s work together to define what we believe is just and equitable.

Thank you. I love you.

Shannon

#lasula #fashion #boys will be boys #art #plagiarism #stealing art #stealing design #capitalism #greed

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andreacaskey · 3 years

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Staying virtual; Wednesday’s daily brief

Search Engine Land’s daily brief features daily insights, news, tips, and essential bits of wisdom for today’s search marketer. If you would like to read this before the rest of the internet does, sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox daily.

Good morning, Marketers, being in-person isn’t worth anyone’s well-being.

That’s why we’re planning to continue virtual SMX and MarTech events in 2022. I want to be amongst my fellow search marketers as much as anyone, but there are very compelling reasons to continue with virtual conferences until we can be absolutely sure that we’re not compromising on safety. Chris Elwell, CEO of Third Door Media (Search Engine Land’s parent company), laid out these reasons in a two-part series of posts:

There’s no predicting the future of COVID with certainty, and that affects all the other reasons below.

The travel industry has been disrupted. Airlines are having a hard time rebounding, which means fewer, more expensive flights for the foreseeable future.

Over the last 18 months, virtual conferences have been successful for us. Search marketing conferences have translated well to the digital space.

Fewer in-person attendees means lower ROI, which any marketer should be able to appreciate.

The cost of participating in in-person events will rise. “Convention centers, decorators, caterers and all of the other participants in the ecosystem will be paying more to provide the appearance of safety,” Elwell explained. “Those costs will be passed on. Exhibitors will end up with the bill.”

When it’s safe to gather the way we all want to, I hope to be the first person to welcome you back to SMX, but until then, we’ll keep providing professional development opportunities via our virtual conferences. SMX Next will be kicking off on November 9, register and join us for actionable tactics to overcome today’s challenges and forward-thinking strategies that can help you prepare for 2022.

George Nguyen, Editor

SEOs experiencing delays in data on Search Console performance reports

“We’re currently experiencing longer than usual delays in the Search Console performance report. This only affects reporting, not crawling, indexing, or ranking of websites,” said the Google Search Central Twitter account on the morning of Tuesday, September 21.

Many SEOs have noticed the change in their Search Console reports yesterday morning and have taken to social media to ask if they’re the only ones seeing the issue — clearly, they’re not. Based on chatter from the SEO community, the last day of data seems to be September 17 or 18.

Why we care. If your data isn’t updated, don’t worry just yet. The glitch will likely be fixed soon, but make sure to inform your clients and adjust your weekly reporting to ensure no misunderstandings or data mistakes. If you’re using the Search Console API, you maybe also see 404s until the glitch is remedied. Google assured SEOs that the glitch does not affect how sites are seen or indexed, just how the data is being relayed back to them. It’s also a good reminder to go into Search Console regularly to check your data and not just rely solely on tools that may pull the data into automated reports.