#it’s all ‘he was always horrible’ and such but like. why. children learn by example. so um 📸

[avallachs]

sorry to brainrot immediately after waking up but i am?? obsessed with enver’s revenge against his parents. there’s so much to unpack there

#bg3 spoilers #ophelia.txt #ophelia plays bg3 #it’s interesting they call him such a hateful little child when they’re equally hateful people. they refuse to accept that They Made Him #it’s all ‘he was always horrible’ and such but like. why. children learn by example. so um 📸 #also very interesting that his mother condemns him for whining and wanting things (very vague but more or less her words) and it’s like. #yeah. children do that. idk maybe u two shouldn’t have had a child in the first place #sorry i could ramble abt this forever but it’s so. ough. #the I Am The Shape You Made Me—Filth Teaches Filth of it all #it’s also like he’s forcing them to give him the love they never did & that he will obviously have never received growing up the way he did

[yuikomorii]

i think i can forgive yui for anything even toxic simply because she suffered the most because of those guys and deserves to get her lick back. they put her through so much in earlier games, it's insane

// PARDON?? 😀😀

I understand that the Diaboys were bitchy at first and they all treated others as less (which is bad), but other than Laito, Kanato and Carla, nobody made Yui suffer that bad to the point of breaking her. Kou was pretty nasty too at first, but the rest weren’t that horrible route based for characters supposed to be monsters. At the very least, I can name some human LIs who were way worse than most Diaboys, yet nobody seems to hate on them for that. I understand that it must be tiring being pushed around and being treated as “prey”, yet we’re talking about vampires here. They are predators and don’t have the same set of morals as humans do, for this reason humans are a mere food source for them. They can’t live without blood, even if this means having to sacrifice humans to satisfy their hunger. We love cats despite the fact that they like torturing mice before killing them, and that’s because we understand that it’s just how the predator instinct works. The Diaboys might look humanized, but they are a whole difference existence and you shouldn’t hold them at human standards. It’s good that DL showed how vampires were truly supposed to act, instead of making them romantic and flirty from the start.

Even the whole Adam’s apple plan focuses on Eve, a human, making Adam, a vampire, learn about human feelings. One thing about the Diaboys is that they all had growth. If someone is shown regretting their behavior and is genuinely changing into a better person just for you, it’s very insensitive to remind them about what they did a long time ago. They are aware of their actions and they are aware they were in the wrong, therefore bringing up their past mistakes won’t make you a better person than them. A Diaboy could sacrifice everything for Yui and put his life on the verge each and every time she’s in danger, but some of you guys would still only see him as “bad”, which would be a huge insult to his character, given that it would erase all the development he went through.

I’m not going to count the bad endings here, but saying that you forgive all of Yui’s toxic actions is very toxic itself. She is an abuse apologist herself, who tried to convince Ayato that his mother secretly cared for him (despite knowing the full story), Subaru that Karlheinz loved him and the Mukamis that Karlheinz, after he committed a whole genocide, saved them to redeem himself. These are all very wrong. Karlheinz always used everyone for his plans, just like Cordelia used her children for her selfish desires. Neither of them were ever shown regretting their actions. This is just one example of Yui’s toxic actions and I’m not saying that she did them with ill will, but stupidity can make one problematic too. It gives off the same vibes as “but they’re your parents”, after hearing someone talk about how much their parents hurt them.

It’s not that hard to admit that all DL characters have red flags. Nobody in this franchise is meant to be a role model and it’s okay if you don’t like certain actions. I’m a Yui stan, but I get why several people from the otoge community don’t really like her. However, I’m surprised that they see her as really that bad. I mean, she still is mostly kind and sweet, therefore I don’t think her bitchy moments are more significant. Yet, I suppose this has more to do with how they perceive things.

#admin

[sstarmoon]

Okay so, let's talk about Walburga Black.

I have A LOT to say.

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Little reminder that everything I'm going to say below are my lore headcanons, and not everything follows the canon. Basically most of what you are going to read came from my imagination. Hope you like it ;)

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— Walburga was never a good mother, not at all. She had very deep-rooted ideals and putting that above love for her children is unforgivable. But that doesn't mean she hasn't suffered with her parents too.

— The Blacks had been sharing their traditions and ideals for centuries from generation to generation, it was almost a sect. A family truly full of dark secrets; including murders of their own members -children born as squibs- to maintain the purity of their blood. Children were raised, or rather indoctrinated, since they had the ability to think. Being born under the Black surname was truly terrifying.

— Walburga and her brothers were no exception. Her parents were never gentle with her, she couldn't remember any hug, or even a kind word from her mother. She spent her teenager years trying to make her parents proud of her, but she never received that praise from them. Her parents demanded a lot from her, expecting nothing but perfection from their only daughter. And Walburga had tried very hard to meet those expectations.

— Walburga demanded a lot from herself, a lot, even beyond her limits. She never doubted her parents, believing that they were always absolutely right - something they constantly said about themselves. Walburga was a perfectionist, disciplined, responsible, strict and very demanding woman, with herself and later with her children. She had been raised believing that there was no room for even the slightest error, that's why when her first son, Sirius, revealed, she felt horrible disappointment in herself and enormous hatred towards him. Seeing that her eldest son, her heir, threw away everything that their family had made so many sacrifices to maintain, was the most humiliating example of betrayal for Walburga.

— She was completely blinded by the doctrine that had been instilled in her as a child, believing fervently and absolutely in everything that their supremacy dictated. That's why she was unable to see the damage she was doing to her children, the damage she was doing to herself, and the damage that had been done to her her entire life ((None of that is an excuse for what she did, no no, I'm just saying that no one in that family was okay lol)).

— She had been a talented witch in her years at Hogwarts. Getting the highest grades, being a star student, focused on her studies and nothing else. She didn't do what other teenagers did, she wasn't interested in boys like other girls. Her mother had told her that all of that was a waste of time, and promiscuity, and she believed everything her mother said -not having experienced that in her youth would affect her in her adult life. Besides the fact that she had also gotten married as soon as she graduated-.

— Walburga, at least in her younger years, was not what she later became. She was also a person, and she loved others, but she didn't know how to love. No one had ever taught her how, she had never really been appreciated by anyone, and that's how she learned to treat others.

— The only thing she heard from her father was how much she looked like her grandmother, which she didn't see as a compliment, since that was the only thing her father deigned to say to her. The man had never paid attention to his only daughter's achievements. And the only thing he heard from her mother was how imperfect she was. Her mother treated her like her worst enemy, making her daughter's teenager years hell. Walburga had thousands of insecurities installed by her own mother, about her way of being and her physical appearance. Walburga never understood it, but her mother was very jealous of her.

— Anyway, Walburga never complained. She never cried. Nobody, absolutely nobody, had ever seen her cry. She had never let anyone see her emotions, her vulnerability. She hated feeling vulnerable, weak, it was what she hated most in the world. She believed that she would be truly perfect if she had no emotions. She saw her vulnerability, her sadness, as a sign of weakness. Of imperfection. And all Walburga wanted was to be perfect in her mother's eyes. To be perfect for the noble house of Black, to fit the size her mother had molded her to. And looking weak, cry for everything her mother had imposed on her, everything she demanded of her, was like a betrayal of all that. Because she should be eternally grateful for having the honor of being a Black, right?

— Still, she had a breaking point. When she was old and her life, her family, had completely fallen apart. The day Orion died, the day she found out that her youngest son, Regulus, had died; she cried in front of Kreacher for hours. As if she was crying everything she hadn't cried in all those years.

— And when Sirius was put in Azkaban, when she first read what happened in the Daily Prophet, she felt a strange mix of emotions. On one hand, she knew there was a mistake, there had to be a mistake. Because if Sirius really was a Death Eater, her son would never have run away from home. She got along terribly with her oldest son, but she knew him like the back of her hand. And she knew her son was not a murderer. When she found out, Walburga, for the first time in many years, wanted to see her eldest son once again. She really, really didn't want Sirius to be in Azkaban. It made her uncomfortable, she didn't like to think about it. But her pride was stronger, the Black pride was always stronger, and she never did anything to help him.

— She died feeling miserable. Not just imperfect, but a complete failure. She knew her mother would be endlessly disappointed in her. Walburga, although she never admitted it, was afraid of dying. Because she knew that her mother would be waiting for her somewhere. And she was terrified of her mother ((Trauma passes from generation to generation guys, everything makes sense)). She was a failure, her husband and youngest son were dead, and she had let her eldest son rebel, and even though she hated Sirius for that, she would never forgive herself for letting him break the mold.

— She hated when Sirius cried. Because she had gone through the same suffering as him, but she had not shed a single tear. And seeing her son be so different from her, so weak in her eyes, made her so angry.

— She was an impulsive woman. She had spent her entire life containing her emotions; her sadness, her disgust, her anger. But this last one was the most difficult to contain. Walburga had lived her teen years crying inside, but at some point she learned to change sadness for anger, an emotion that made her less uncomfortable. At that moment, she finished becoming a monster.

— Sirius, although it wasn't his fault, had a hand in creating that monster. Since he was little, Walburga had never had to deal with someone who opposed her so much. And the fact that he was her son only made it worse for her. She wanted submission from Sirius, obedience, and she tortured her son, trying to strip him of every drop of rebellion, trying to not leave anything of him. But Sirius was a Gryffindor, and he had a lion heart. And when he ran away, it was the last straw for Walburga. From that day on, Sirius was no longer her son.

— Walburga had never been good to her children, but she did loved them. Though she didn't know how to show it. Regulus was her favorite. Her youngest son was her only hope, the only thing she had after Sirius betrayed her. Regulus was not like Sirius, he was submissive to her, and that was exactly what she wanted. So when Regulus died, the only son who had made her proud in any way, she felt like she had lost the only person she had ever loved. The only person who paid attention to her. The only person who, somehow, looked up to her. ((Although that was what she believed, I'm not saying that Regulus really admired his mother 👁️)) ((This family's relationship is very complex)).

— Walburga, despite having a rotten heart, was a truly beautiful woman. Many had noticed her appearance in her youth, drawing the interest of many, but Walburga never saw it as a compliment. Her black hair, her pale skin, and her sharp blue-gray eyes. Walburga was an imposing woman, not because of her size, but because of her eyes. Because of her always pressed together lips and her constantly furrowed brow. The elegant woman made her presence known wherever she went, for her beauty and her firmness. ((I LOVE Eva Green as her fancast, literally her)).

— The Blacks really had a thing for looking like a French monarchy (with the incest and all lol). Walburga loved to wear dresses that didn't match the era, which the other members did as well. Except, well, Sirius ((Siri babe I love you but you also liked to make your mother's life miserable)).

— Walburga spoke perfect French, she constantly mumbled in French, saying things she couldn't say out loud and swearing at people. She tried to pass the language on to her children. With Regulus she managed to, with Sirius halfway. He had never been interested in anything his mother wanted to teach him. Another thing she had managed to pass on to Regulus was playing the piano. She knew how to play the piano, she had gone to lessons as a child, and she taught Regulus since he was little.

— Walburga's two children looked like her. With their black hair, pale skin and blue-gray eyes ((It's not like they have much genetic diversity either tho, their parents are cousins KANWNDKIAJD)). Both had inherited part of Walburga's personality, although in different ways. Regulus was the one who acted the most like Walburga at first glance, with the same frown, the same sharp eyes, and his unfriendly attitude. He had the elegance, coldness and discipline of his mother. He had also inherited that disdain for vulnerability, but, ironically, he was the most vulnerable one there. Although he had also inherited the ability to hide it very well ((except with Sirius)).

— Sirius, although he seemed completely the opposite, was also like his mother. Especially physically. It was scary because he really did look a lot like Walburga when he started growing his hair out. People told him that a lot and Sirius hated it, yet he still kept his hair long. He also took after his mother in terms of sociability. Of course, Sirius was an explosive extrovert and Walburga was reserved, but they both understood social dynamics perfectly. And they took that to their advantage. Besides, Sirius had a way of arguing, a way of insulting, very similar to his mother's. Looking for and noticing the same weak points as her in people. Sirius hadn't noticed that until one day, in the middle of a horrible argument, Remus yelled at him that he was exactly like his mother. Sirius was horrified to hear that. And began to hate that part of himself. He hated knowing that he was his mother's son, that the blood of that horrible woman also ran through his veins.

— He wondered if she had ever loved him, or if he had ever loved her.

— Walburga, on the other hand, died feeling miserable, knowing that she had lost her entire family. And that was, in part, her fault. She sometimes found herself wondering if perhaps she had been too hard on him, but she quickly pushed that thought away. Sirius had decided to abandon her, abandon his entire family, and Walburga would never forgive him. Although she wished things had been different. She really did loved her oldest son.

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It may sound strange but I really love this character. Walburga is such a complex character, I had a lot of fun creating a lore for her. There's a lot to say about this family, and JK is useless and no one likes her so SKWJJAJD here are we with our headcanons.

Don't be afraid to comment guys, I love when you do that ((I need friends)).

You can send questions too, I'd really like some interaction.

#𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔⋆ #walburga black #walburga black headcanons #the black family #the black family headcanons #sirius black #sirius black headcanon #sirius black headcanons #sirius #padfoot #regulus black #regulus black headcanons #regulus black hc #regulus black headcanon #reggie black #marauders era #marauders #marauders headcanon #harry potter #harry potter marauders #orion black #orion black headcanons

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Only two today, but long ones!

Anonymous asked:

Out of curiosity, are there any tropes in Media/Fanfiction that you and katsu Hate/Love...? or even Neutral about it?

I think don't you guys talked about that before unless I somehow missed it?

Anon! Sorry for the late reply. I had to think about it for some time, but I also feel like there is no way to answer this question in a definitive 100% conclusive way; there will always be some exceptions when the trope that we hate somehow still works okay, or when our favourite tropes don’t do the story justice at all. So this is more of a list of first things that come to mind! Mostly because these are the tropes we discuss the most.

We really tend to not like a lot of family-related tropes, especially when characters settle down and start a family and start living a slow domestic life and stuff, and when it’s painted as an endpoint or a happy ending of sorts. This is why we don’t really like talking about characters having kids or headcanon OC kids for our ships, the idea just doesn’t have the appeal to us. Maybe it’s because we don’t want children ourselves so it doesn’t click with us/we don’t get it; maybe it’s just because of how overwhelmingly popular this trope is, and how a lot of times it tends to make characters lose their unique characteristics and boil them down to just being a mom and/or a dad. Even if it’s not fanfiction but an original piece, we don’t really resonate with stories like that. Hmm, I guess it’s mostly about the nuclear families though, because I personally would find a story about a broken household more interesting. But if it’s just a “he is a papa, he is another papa, and here is their sunshine baby” is just boring to us personally… Where are my stories about characters going through divorce and fighting over their children? lol

Same goes for anything pregnancy related. We really don’t resonate with tropes that are related to pregnancy, the only possible exception being some horror stories.

Our favourite tropes… we love a despair-filled story! A tragedy, I guess. “Yes, everything is that bad; no, there is nothing you can realistically do to fix it” type of story, maybe a good example would be Shingeki no Kyojin.

When a super powerful being is somehow linked to one person and doesn’t stop being a super powerful being and doesn’t develop empathy or humanity! I don’t know how to explain it lol We love it when someone super powerful and inhuman favours a character, either due to having plans for this character or due to its selfish obsession, but it doesn’t go the typical route of “and then the demon learned how to care and love someone”. Like, the obsession is still there, but the creature doesn’t experience it in the same way that humans do, even if it looks like it, there is still this creepy gap that could never be closed. Whenever this gap closes and the creature starts feeling love, it turns into the trope that we really don’t like lol

Somehow related to this, but not really? I’ve said it multiple times, but: character A loves character B so much that they are willing to do horrible things for them (things that character B never asked for). We also love selflessly loyal type, sadodere or yangire boys, anything that makes characters’ relationship with each other almost cartoonishly exaggerated and extreme. I hope it makes sense.

Also! A character is bored and does whatever they want in the story, dancing to the beat of their own drums. Like chaotic neutral, but without any common sense? Hisoka from HxH or the Tweels would be good examples. You never know whether they are an ally or a foe because you can never guess what exactly they’re thinking about.

I can talk about it for ages, but these are the tropes that come to mind first!

Anonymous asked:

Any fav writers/artists you two follow bc of their work or ships?

Im new to bsky and want to follow ppl with similar taste first

Sorry for the late reply, Anon!

To be completely honest with you, we don’t have a lot of people who we follow on bsky; well, we do have a lot of our favourite jp artists who made an account there when it became publically available, but a lot of them don’t post there regularly and prefer to still use twi. Still, I’ll give you the links in case they start posting again!

I wish I could give you more recommendations, so if anyone wants to add to this list, feel free to comment under this post.

Here are some of our faves:

https://bsky.app/profile/thumaru.bsky.social - not shippy, but a lot of very good character art; their Vil is top notch.

https://bsky.app/profile/rakugakityou03.bsky.social - also not shippy; absolute god of illustration, their art is gorgeous.

https://bsky.app/profile/akiseizon.bsky.social  - I physically can’t NOT post a link to Futairo-san; I am so obsessed with their art it’s pathetic at this point.

https://bsky.app/profile/moketaros.bsky.social - one of the best rkvl artists out there, even though they haven’t updated their bsky in a bit…

https://bsky.app/profile/chocomaimai.bsky.social - one of my favourite Shroud artists! They don’t post much on bsky unfortunately, but their collection of artworks on pixiv and twi is great.

https://bsky.app/profile/rikuaso.bsky.social - another one of my favourite Shroud artists! Their Shroudcest is gorgeous :”)

https://bsky.app/profile/ingtakou6910.bsky.social - pretty Jamils!! Very pretty Jamils!!

Once again, the list isn’t as big because I’m limiting it to bsky, but if you ever want a twi/pixiv list, let me know. 😔

#replies

[emotionalsupport-ljh]

Alright I'm gonna have to say something. There is a lot of info going around that doesn't make sense. There have also been bad arguments on both sides. I'm gonna try to synthesize what I've learned and what I think here so bear with me.

MiA has been on air for 6 years. It has aired globally; in America it aired on Adult Swim. It's on crunchyroll and Hulu if you have a subscription. Is it more likely that A. Anime fans are all p*dos or B. The anime was sold and heavily edited for marketability? I don't believe the amount of anime buffs that have talked so highly about it for so long would have done that had they known the truth.

Another point, we are citing a live from Aug. 2022. Why didn't anyone say anything then? In said live, Woozi is asked to recommend anime. He starts listing anime he had just started then ultimately recommends Komi Can't Communicate. That is it. As for the other idols, they most likely engaged with an edited version that kept some darkness but not the horrible awful parts.

It is not impossible for people to unwittingly enjoy something that is later revealed to be problematic. As far as anime goes, AoT and Ranking of Kings are examples of this. Stuff like that happens in western like in the cases of Harry Potter or Twilight. I will admit, I don't know when it was revealed that there was editing done to MiA, but it has been a recommended anime for years.

The source that posted is called Pannchoa and is notorious for causing problems, mistranslating, misunderstanding, and lying. I've also seen misinfo being spread by antis who want attention. Twitter is a cesspool, and unfortunately, a lot of children these days, especially american children, are victims of a deteriorating education system and lack reading comprehension skills as well as being chronically online. I'm a grown-up. I'm an adult. I'm not saying you have to agree but just take a moment to listen.

Many people have jumped to conclusions and straight up misunderstood things. I've had to cut off favs before, but I always read as much as I can first and make sure I understand before deciding. I hope this blows over quick; I cannot imagine the heartache and stress these boys are going through, or anyone else who likes anime who has posted about it, recommended it, or enjoys it. Let's be productive and drop the manga artist and company who sold it and everyone involved in its censoring and make this not happen again.

The argument that "they are grown men and can watch whatever" does not help. The argument that "watching true crime doesn't make you a murderer" does not help. What helps is finding what is real and not real.

If you're going to try and argue, pick someone else or pick another post. I will not engage. I've said my piece.

#woozi #seventeen #lee jihoon #svt

[nagalias-mindscape]

I’m writing a fanfic. It’s SCP based, and Iceberg basically contains the inevitable heat-death of the Universe inside of him due to his anomaly. He does learn how to use said anomaly to be non-destructive, and I was dared to write a one-shot (crack) meeting between Iceberg and the Scarlet King, and I need to paint a (text) picture down at the end. Please bear with me as I explain some (a lot) background before then. This is a bit long, so sorry. This is entirely based on my fanfic, so there will be (many) instances that may not fit with what’s on the Wiki (go figure).

Now, Icy has Plot Armor by virtue of being the Main Character and I haven't killed him off yet. It’s also explained, by this point in the main story that this off-shoot crack piece takes place in, that Iceberg’s anomaly lets him ‘drain’ energy from all sources of power, and all life / death is a form of energy (the sun and the earth's core are... things he pointedly Does-Not-Think-About). The Scarlet King in this story is also not a mindless, vengeful creature hell-bent of the destruction and breaking of the Multiverse. 

The Scarlet King in this story is a tired Eldritch God whose very nature of being is that of apathy and entropy. He was the First-Before-Creation and all that jazz, and his worshippers don’t dispute this.

However, he is apathy and entropy. Thus, he is controlled by his followers, who gave him his powers all those eons ago. His followers tried to make sense of how their God could have children, and believing that their God was eventually going to destroy the world (he just desires to go back to a simpler time, when Humanity didn’t have control over him), they chose the most horrible thing they could as both a power move to the People-Following-Other-Gods and as a warning to Future Generations to Not-Anger-Our-God. So instead of asexual reproduction and simply willing a creature into creation, the Scarlet King now has a singular wife who was the exact opposite of him in terms of most everything.

Then over the years as things changed, because they believed that this Scarlet King was Evil Incarnate, they made him break his wife’s spirit and then impregnate the now seven broken spirits of his once-wife. So instead of one child and one bride, he now has seven children and seven wives. 

(The God-Wives don’t hate him for this, though. They’re also an Eldritch being, and Humanity’s Faith has always held a weird sway over them. Especially for one like the Scarlet King whose powers and abilities are influenced by how others perceive him.)

Please bear with me, I’m getting to the meeting between Iceberg and the Scarlet King and the image I want to impart upon people. It just takes a bit of set up to understand why the Scarlet King doesn’t kill Iceberg on-the-spot and why such a meeting would even take place despite the Foundations efforts.

So. Seven wives, seven kids. Except, humanity then begins to gain an almost fanatic, fever-like worship of the Scarlet King and all that they made him to be and all that they will one day make him. Which makes everything take a turn for the worst when they decide that effigies are the best way to ‘become’ the Scarlet King or one of his wives. The best way to worship him and all that he is and all that he will be.

So, a ritual was made. The most recent example of this ritual being used, at the time of the fanfic I’m writing, would be 4231. Which makes Dr. Clef one of the Scarlet Kings wives and Meridiana (SCP-166) one of the Scarlet King’s children. By proxy, because that's what the ritual was for. And it works, because Humanity is something even True Gods fear to be remembered by.

I’m getting to the point of all this, I promise.

Iceberg and Dr. Clef get along in this story. It takes a bit of time to get there, and it’s still a mostly professional relationship, but Meri and Iceberg are basically like siblings due to main-story based events.

SCP-999 is also fond of Iceberg, and doesn’t mind Iceberg’s anomalous cold if he’s allowed to approach at his own pace and bribed with sweets. SCP-682 allows Iceberg’s presence on the condition that Iceberg provides a heavy blanket layer of snow to help nullify the pain he’s in simply by existing in a plane of reality he shouldn’t technically be in.

For reasons explained in the actual story, the Scarlet King also has ‘children’ in the form of SCPs 408 and 3999. 3999 and 408 mostly like Iceberg thanks to Darven (who is both a 'child' and 'grandchild' of the Scarlet King by proxy for weird reasons relating entirely to 408), but it doesn’t change the fact that they do think somewhat fondly of him. In the case of 3999, they’re still connected to James Talloran, who survived the encounter but is permanently connected to 3999 and thus is a child of the Scarlet King only on a technicality, which doesn’t matter in the grand scope of things. 3999 doesn’t actually give a shit about Iceberg, but can’t do anything about it since Iceberg’s snow nullifies its reality-bending powers to a pretty heavy degree. That Iceberg has no desire to ‘take away’ James Talloran also helps the ‘inaction’ part.

Okay, background done. On to what I actually wanted to share.

The Scarlet King ‘brings’ Iceberg to him, because he’s curious about who has managed to enrapture so many of these effigy-folk of his wives and children. Because that can be dangerous, and the Scarlet King likes to keep an eye on those that can control him. He's tired of that, after all. Iceberg doesn’t really give a shit because this is all outside his pay grade and give-a-damn but since the Scarlet King isn’t trying to attack or kill him, he’s willing to talk. Which is all the Scarlet King wants. To Talk.

So, they talk. There’s some (idle) threats made and some non-sequiturs as the Scarlet King tries to figure out which reality he just abducted this Special-Weird person from who is almost on the path to become a literal ���God’ of the ‘Universal Heat Death’ or something similar, it can't really tell at this stage of mock ascension. Iceberg demonstrates his powers and causes the Scarlet King’s personal realm to become cloaked in a layer of snow, although the Scarlet King still has his powers despite the ‘power drain’ of Iceberg’s Devouring-Abyssal Ice and Sheer Cold. The two settle down for tea, because the Scarlet King isn’t actually a being just trying to destroy the world. He’s just a tired entity who wants people to stop making him out to be this horrible thing that’s Absolute Evil Incarnate, and Iceberg isn’t one of his worshippers. Iceberg’s perception of the Scarlet King doesn’t influence him beyond his own powers, and Iceberg’s snow is dampening the ever-present maddening-whisper of his actual worshippers.

This is the closest the Scarlet King has come to 'being free' of being commanded by Humanity since they first noticed him, and he's enjoying it.

It’s this tea scene that I need people to be aware of.

The Scarlet King, by virtue of being an Eldritch Being, is not bound by human proportions. Although vaguely human-shaped and proportioned by Iceberg’s perception of others- and the Scarlet King not wanting to break Iceberg by virtue of existing in the same plane of reality as an Eldritch Abomination- he’s still massive. Imagine standing next to the Burj Khalifa. That’s Iceberg and the Scarlet King.

And they’re having tea like nothing is wrong with this.

The tea set is sized correctly for humans such as Iceberg.

Please try to imagine what a tea cup sized for humans would look like in the hands of a person as tall as the world’s tallest building and sized appropriately everywhere else. 

I can’t continue writing about the tea scene because of it. Neither Iceberg or the Scarlet King are bringing up the ant-sized tea cup on the Scarlet King’s fingers, but fuck. I’m laughing too much because.

Because the Scarlet King can just make the tea cup in his hands the right size for himself, but he’s not.

I can’t stop laughing. Help me, void!

#text #Fanfiction #scp foundation #dr. iceberg #Scarlet King #This counts as some major crack I think #I can't stop laughing at the mental image I've been writing and it hurts #This is the happy-good-feeling brain chemical my brain needed these past three months #but now my sides and lungs hurt #Maybe the void that I'm shouting into can enjoy the mental image too #Sorry for the post but I needed to share this to get it out of my head #That's what this blog is for #Just mind-dumping shit that wont leave me alone in an attempt to force it to leave me alone

[dirtyvulture]

😎 Since Vulture oh so generously decided that I could just have a Young Thomas being the poor man that a Young Elizabeth Howlett ( Reed at the time ) fell in love with . I will say what I think how the whole story went . I also am so excited for part 3 of the darkest knight series to drop. 😁 So obviously Thomas wasn’t always the violent I’ll tempered drunk he was at the end of his life when he broken into to estate of the Howlett family and confronting/killing John Howlett then tried to take Elizabeth and his biological daughter. Elizabeth Reed ( then turned Howlett )also wasn’t the absolute cold hearted person that didn’t have any warmth to them what so ever at the end of her life when she had forced her daughter out and then killed her self with her other lover’s shotgun . Her body side by side with the other man and not the man she married ( the man she has always loved but never married) .

In their younger years both were full of joy and happiness, as well as young love . Thomas Logan was the son of the groundskeeper of the Reed estate and Thomas grew up living and working on the Reed estate. His father was a drunk and had violent tendencies often beating Thomas ( this is base off of Dog Logan , Thomas Logan‘s comic son . I don’t think we know why Thomas Logan is the way he is) . Elizabeth and Thomas grew up around each other but it wasn’t until they were much older and in the season that Elizabeth became of age that they fell for each other. Thomas learned his groundskeepers knowledge from his father and then took over for his father when he had passed, Thomas also had his father  pension to drink and have a bit of a temper ( remember while addiction/ alcoholism is not genetic it makes it so that a person is genetically susceptible or have a genetic disposition to become an addict ) but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was when he died. Elizabeth had a good and pleasant disposition when she was younger but always had snobbish and uptight attitudes that went with being in high society (something that her future husband and daughter never had. Especially her daughter while she was still in high society and when she lost everything one horrible night) . Again not as bad as it was at the end of her life.

Elizabeth came of age, was presented to High Society , fell in love with Thomas.Elizabeth and Thomas were always friends and played together ( they were both the only children on the estate) and even had a little hideout that they always went to away from everyone else, a hide out for innocent outings between children/ childhood friends to more ……. serious outings between young lovers . Then Elizabeth met John Howlett and he went all out in courting her, trying his hardest to woo her . He did fall for Elizabeth Reed( he didn’t so much for the woman she became but tried his hardest to be a good man and husband. Trying his hardest to be a good father and example of a good man for his daughter) was very romantic towards her and very charmingly diplomatic towards her parents . Elizabeth Reed’s parents were impressed and pressured her to marry him, Elizabeth had a choice between love or money. She chose money, a choice that will immediately change all in involved. Elizabeth got colder and colder , her uptight and snobbish attitudes go unchecked as well as unmatched. Thomas got angrier and more aggressive, and became a full blown drunk . John was just …….tired. Being with somebody who he knew deep down didn’t love him but gave his all to and then a another decision was made when a spot as the Howlett Estate Groundskeeper opened up. A decision that will lead to a disastrous affair, a baby girl and ultimately the death of three people.

This is all I got for right now and I am eager to see part three of the Darkest Knight, i will be back with more thoughts afterwards so nothing I say will become irrelevant ( like my poor poor Truck head canon was after part two dropped 😭😭😭) . Also PS I am excited because I have bought a new laptop and now I am setting up everything and messing around with it.

Quickly trying to post this before Part 3 comes out...

Again I am so sorry about the truck headcanon lol. But you never know, the truck could show up again in a future installment. :)

Thank you for your lovely contributions to making Wolvie!R who she is! I hope you enjoy Part 3 and your new laptop!

#😎 anon #vulture answers #darkest knight au

[justanoutlawfic]

For Captain Snowing HC!

I believe Killian be the cool pirate grandfather to Henry, telling stories of a life at sea, his transition from pirate to knight and stories about his dad. Telling embarrassing stories about his spouses and his Aunt Alice.

I think Killian during the curse was the town grump BUT he’s a total sweetheart with Henry finding the kid to be kind, charming, and full of wonder. Always greeting the young boy when he sees him or something.

And when the curse breaks, he finds out that he’s a grandfather and is totally surprised but accepts it quickly. Taking his grandson to Granny’s for lunch, babysitting him when the others can’t, teaching him start sword fights with David (because it’s never too young to learn good sportsmanship according to him) and etc.

Possibly him and David making it a little fun competition on who can impress their grandson more. Snow is the darling sweet grandmother who is watching all this go down and joking around with her grandson.

-> Sidenote: I think Killian and Snow are a slightly chaotic together. Maybe rolling their eyes being so done with everyone, Killian buying her flowers when he knows he accidentally screwed up and she accepts them jokingly and always trying to make a big deal out of everything they find could be a bonding moment.

I believe when Killian LOVES to compliment Snow every damn time he gets a chance. Sometimes he does it when he knows he’s in trouble, teasing his wife more than anything or trying to lighten the good mood but fails horribly. And i bet when Snow fell pregnant with their children, Killian secretly loves his wife’s cravings because it meant he can always try to indulge in treats and snacks.

David and Killian definitely argue over who's the cooler grandparent! We see David competing for Henry's affection in S3 with the truck. I definitely see that happening here, as Killian tries to teach him to drive a ship. And then Regina has to be held back from killing them both haha.

I see David and Killian being the chaotic ones, with Snow constantly wondering why she married 2 obnoxious, silly, danger loving men. Then they do something sweet like make her tea and run her a bath and she's good.

Another example of them driving Regina crazy is giving Henry tips on "picking up women" when he meets Violet. Regina is constantly telling Snow to control her husbands.

Killian definitely teases Snow, but I believe she is the only one who can shut him up. With just a single look. But she'll smile so he also knows he's not in too much trouble.

#captain snowing #snow white #killian jones #david charming #ouat #once upon a time

[girljeremystrong]

Ramble inbound, your tags made me think :) personally I love how cold rava can be towards ken. I really enjoy that aspect of her character, IMO it tells us everything we need to know about the progression of their relationship up to when we first meet them. I would think her coldness is a direct result of Kendall being an almost entirely absent father & husband for years upon years, one who makes no genuine effort to meaningfully reach out & connect to her or his kids, who instead tries to develop closeness by centering his life & asking her to play the role he envisions for her as Wife Of The Waystar Royco CEO. She clearly has underlying love for him, I do think she just can’t let go of her fondness for him, but he chooses work over family 100% of the time (always in the Kendall Roy: CEO Of Waystar mindset, and never the mindset of Kendall Roy: Husband And Father) and she’s just tired of fighting upstream with him. Cos let’s be honest Kenny is very stubborn and doesn’t take no for an answer when he’s decided what he wants. He has this pattern with his other flings too, that girl he whisked away from the play for example; the way he was always brushing off the consequences she’d face from jumping out of her life and into his, because he thinks he could patch it all up with his money and influence and it’d all be fine. As if the material cost is the problem and not his self centered relationship style. He doesn’t make an effort to truly invest in his partners’ personal lives/priorities/interests outside of the context of the Roy familial corporate structure, because that’s the only environment in which he has any practice connecting with people. He has 0 normal family experience to draw on so he really can’t leave the Roy headspace and connect with his family as a human person. Obviously it’s Logan’s fault that ken has a hard time fostering stable relationships outside of the context of the corporate world, as business IS love to Logan. I think this is why his closest relationships are with people already in the belly of the corporate world (stewi, naomi), and why he doesn’t really Get why she doesn’t want to be with him even if he becomes The Man. This is one of many ways he’s inherited Logan’s worldview. He treats his family much less abrasively than his father (at least until the end when he goes Full Loge and aggressively threatens to sever custody in an attempt to keep his life from crumbling), but even accounting for the extra kindness it’s still the same fundamental way Logan treated his family; narcissistically. Poison drips through innit. So TLDR I think rava’s coldness is justified, from the perspective of a long-embittered ex wife, left to be their children’s sole parent while their father focused exclusively on his work life and the enmeshed family relationships within. Ok that’s all my thoughts hope you enjoy. ^_^

wow this is very eloquent and very well said. fundamentally i agree with everything you said (and you said it very well) especially the point you made about him being way too immersed in the corporate world and being too focused on his role as the man at the top and it's true that he's treated rava like crap and he's been a horrible father BUT consider this: i love him!!!!!

he's my sopping little wet rat who grew up in a very unstable environment with a man who was borderline abusive to him and his siblings while at the same time being promised he was gonna be just like him when he grew up only to be disappointed and castigated time and time again and of course it's on him to learn and grow and be a better man and father than logan but at the same time he was made to think that he had to be this strong cynical unaffected man so that he could be like his father from his childhood and that's difficult!!!! and once more he's a fictional character and i love him!!!!!

of course rava is allowed to be cold and tough towards him and i understand she must have been let down so so many times and she must be so worried about their kids but so many times he went to her for some assurance and she's just always been so stern!!!! i wish my boy could have heard a "good job" from a person he clearly still values in his life

#sorry i just love kendall and think everybody should be nice to him #ask #anonymous

[grendelsmilf]

i think the reason ive always been so derisive of mathematics while loving physics is largely bc of the teachers i had in grade school.

i had some really horrible math teachers growing up, like this one woman who looked like a bridge troll, always mispronounced my name in ludicrous ways, and was actively bad at math. for example one time in fourth grade we were doing percentages and she asked the class what 1/8 was as a percent, so i raised my hand after realizing no one else knew the answer, and said “12.5,” to which she asked me how i knew that, so i said, “half of 100 is 50, and half of 50 is 25, which is 1/4, so half of 1/4 would be 12.5” and she said “wow. i never thought about it that way. i always just knew the answer because it was told to me.” MY GOOD WOMAN U TEACH MATH TO CHILDREN??????? the one even remotely good math teacher i ever had was in eighth grade, which is probably why i enjoy basic algebra slightly more than any other elementary math topic.

but i had a really great science teacher in middle school. he was so mean but so smart, and sometimes he just eschewed the curriculum to teach us what he felt like. he introduced us to quantum with the double slit experiment, and taught us about how to measure waves, and i thought it was the coolest thing ever. by the time i learned physics formally in high school with a boring nothing teacher who made us do nothing but kinematics all year, I didn’t even care because I remembered being 13 and finding physics fascinating. and i never took physics 2 in high school either bc the teacher was a known misogynist white guy who says namaste freak lol. but i still knew i was gonna pursue astrophysics in college despite that.

not to mention math has always been my brother’s “thing,” like it’s really the only thing he cares about and so his identity was always so heavily tied to being a “math prodigy” that the idea of me daring to encroach on that was simply out of the question. but he had absolutely zero interest in physics (or even applied math of any kind really) so it was fair game for me lol.

but yeah maybe im too hard on pure math for those reasons. my best friend does pure math and she’s wonderful obviously. i do recognize i would probably like math more had i been raised in different circumstances. i don’t know. anyway mathematicians can SUCK MY DICK

#ppl who do both pure math and physics are the bravest souls on earth tho #couldnt be me

[kendrixtermina]

On Emotional Awareness – The Revenge of the feels.

I hadn’t put these on tumblr & it occurred to me that I probably should  

General points.

Overall it tends to be generally assumed that ppl know and can express or tell you their feelings since we’re bombarded from all sides by displays of such if we turn on the radio or TV or just listen to our friends & family expounding upon whatever is, but if you’ve picked up any self-help or couples advice book, or indeed gotten into typology, you’ll find that this is not always self-explanatory.

Now, I personally have never had this problem, but it's worth noting that, though this is not always acknowledged or given its due weight, learning to interpret/ map your feelings is an actual skill that ppl need to learn. All people.

A baby/toddler doesn't know what's happening to them at all - they just start bawling & throwing a tantrum once a certain threshold of distress is reached - if you have younger siblings or cousins you may have oserved that sometimes babies get really cranky in the evening cause they can't yet distinguish anger/irritation from tiredness.

This is where the parents are supposed to come in and help you learn, for example, by mirroring your state back to you – first, through their reactions & responses such as comfort, eye contact, touch, and sympathetic reactions.

You might also notice that sometimes mothers will narrate what the baby is doing - (‚Are we sleepy/grumpy/excited today?‘)

This gives the child some vocabulary to describe their experience & a chance to associate their inner states with words. Paying attention to the child’s feelings also signals that this is important, salient information, just like pointing out colors and shapes teaches a baby to pay attention to colors.

Once the child is a little bit older and has picked up some words, the parent can then ask the child about their feelings, for example by asking them why they engaged in some bad behavior, encouraging the child to reflect on their own motivations.

Eventually a feedback loop arises and the child becomes able to self-regulate.

If you are a parent, this is part of your job as much as potty training or teaching your kids to speak and bathe themselves –

Books or TV shows geared at small children also feature narration explaining the characters’ feelings for this reason.

But sometimes the parents just want the kid to shut up & don't make noise so rather than doing any of the above things they just say „shut up!“ or dole out harsh punitive measures.

In that case, the above learning doesn’t really happen; What the child learns instead is, at best, to shut up, and at worst, that the parents are to be feared.

In some western cultures (founded as they are on the patriarchal and discipline-heavy roman civilization) even well-meaning parents do this because of bogus cultural values like "girls don't fight" or "boys don't cry" etc.

In particular we seem to think that boys don’t need crucial life skills like self-regulation (or cooking or cleaning.)

& due to the bias of male hyperagency even nominally ‚feminist’ sources often phrase this as being about making sure the boy doesn‘t grow up to exploit or be a jerk to his girlfriend.

He may be a lazy jerk if he chooses to do so but most crucially, if your son leaves your house without important life skills you have failed him as a parent – thats why you see so many dudes shooting themselves after divorces or work-related failures.

Obviously some personality type combinations are going to be more or less "talented" at learning emotional awareness (eg. a Fi dom 4 is going to pick up awareness of their feelings even if the parents are horrible and ignore them completely cause this is where their attention constantly goes. Which isn't necessarily a blessing, since they'd mainly be noticing how awful they feel about being ignored by their parents and be stuck constantly "looking" at that pain.)

Even so it’s important to realize that this is a learnable skill that can be practiced & learned despite different talent levels. (with the caveat that there might be conditions such as autism, depression or ptsd creating extra difficulties for some)

Everyone who can do it learned it at some point and if you’re lagging behind you can teach yourself, if not quite with the effortlessness of a well-cherished toddler.

So I’d like to encourage you to think of feelings detection hangups less as something specific to particular types (like, say, the competency triad) and more as yet another fixable self-awareness deficit – though type may of course influence level of talent as well as the particular ways such feelings detection deficits might manifest.

Still if you read or listen to ppl’s experiences on the internet you will find examples of low awareness individuals of almost all types.

Like with the detecting shapes example, not everyone needs to be a master painter or tell apart 30 shades of purple, but everyone ought to leave kindergarten with enough understanding of basic shapes & colors for the needs of daily life.

An interesting contrasting example is the Inuit culture – outside visitors often find the ppl there remarkably even-tempered. That is because there is culturally a great taboo against yelling at children & a big emphasis on teaching awareness of feelings – one example is that if a child misbehaves, the parent might ask at a later point in time why the child doesn’t do the bad behavior – eg „why don’t you hit me right now?“ Usually the kid won’t want to do so when they’ve long since calmed down, which makes them notice the difference between the current calm state & how they were angry during the acting out.

Type-specific hangups.

1 – the chief issue here is that 1s constantly evaluate everything including themselves. Is this the correct feeling for this situation? Is this the appropriate amount thereof? There can be the concern that feeling the „wrong“ thing to an „excessive“ amount could make you biased, „selfish“, „out of control“ or „bad“.

In the extreme you might be clamping down on any impulse no matter what it is before you have a time to „sample“ it – though, even if it doesn’t get that far, pleasure & anger in particular can be treated as suspect unless „justified“. Plus there can be a tendency to convert other things into anger or frustration (that last bit being somewhat common to all the impulse types)

2 – generally a high expressiveness type, but also a positive one. There is a tendency to cultivate positive feelings towards oneself and others (reminding oneself of positive, loveable qualities of either oneself, if criticised, or those one wishes to keep the peace with) so that feelings perceived as „unappealing“ like anger, frustration ambition or need can be repressed out of awareness.

Anger, resentment and disappointed expectations are common candidates… until it can’t be repressed anymore and the person hits the line to 8 and goes poof.

3 – probably the one that most commonly reports/ struggles with getting somewhat numbed out, either because they’re too focussed on the ‚social‘ emotions they’re supposed to be performing, or sort of put them off because there’s always stuff to do. Whereas 1s clamp down on already existing reactions (which is only possible to a limited extent) and 5s try not to get worked up in the first place (but once a reaction is there, its there), 3 is the one type that can really „flip a switch“, that is, squeeze all the attention into the compartment with the planning & impulses. But the „stuff“ is never far behind since one always has to leave one figurative toe in the dominant center (through which one is percieving the environment) so this often leads to busy compulsive activity and a „flight“-style adversity coping style.

Since the heart is in its own „compartment“ there can be the impression that making time for feelings means paralysis – plus, the more counterdependent 3s might see it as a liability/vulnerability or think showing struggles make them unappealing or „weak“.

4 – overall the least likely type to have this problem since its attention pattern is one of constant interpretation of one’s inner experience, (rather more likely to over-focus on one’s feelings), but there can still an issue of disowning or dismissing sentiments that seem too simple, banal or generic, like harmless silly fun or being upset over an everyday triviality. It might help to look for the reasons for your upset in the recent past & everyday circumstances. If anything else, those are more easily solveable. Also, even if you happened to like the same problematic elf as half of tumblr and are somewhat embarassed of this, sometimes authenticity means admitting that. And at least refusing to touch the most popular ship or universally accepted headcannons for him

5 – tends to be inattentive toward and uncomfortable with physical experience, and hence not very plugged into the sort of body sensations that are of course one possible ways to track your feelings. Also, due to a fairly neutral base mood and an not entirely conscious avoidance toward anything that’s distracting or exhausting there isn’t always something to notice, so it doesn’t take that lacking an environment for one of these to make it to adulthood without cultivating much of a sense for this, though it’s by no means universal (outward expressiveness or comfort with talking about stuff being separate variables - Plus on the lower levels most feelings that did happen would center on their pursuits or inner fantasies rather than being invested in external objects or people.)

6 – another type that can easily have low awareness – they’re wired to first look for the source of problems in the external world. Buying a car with a high safety rating as response to feeling scared checks out, but suspecting your gf is cheating just because you feel jealous doesn’t – in that case the cause is internal, it’s just your jealous feeling. But as the thinking can be disconnected from feelings or impulses the person may not realize how they’re influenced by feelings.

Also if they do notice their feelings, they might then endlessly second-guess the feelings and their perception of them or wonder if the feelings are morally correct or „weak“.

Some 6s very much desire to appear (or even suceed at being) stoic & in-control, though warmth, panic or anger are seldom too far from the surface. The more controlled/„rigid“ 6s in particular can sort of the prototypical person that’s calm on the surface but has a lot of passion underneath.

7 – 7s tend to mostly externalize their feelings, expressing them outwardly right away rather than inwardly processing them, plus the heart is their least used center. Normally this mostly means that their feelings tend to be a bit ‚diffuse‘ with not very differentiated labels & distinguishing but a few states. (especially the ExTPs/ Fi polRs) – However they can have a particular avoidance of & sometimes refusal to acknowledge fear & sadness, leading to a constant activity/ „flight“ pattern of avoidance & when the heart gets like really shut down on the lower average levels you do see individuals reporting some rather empty, numb or restless states where nothing quite seems to get them the satisfaction they seek (this is also probably how depression would show in one of these)

8 – Sort of similar to 7 as the other „heart last“ type in that inner perception tends to be somewhat ‚diffuse‘ even in average ppl, and that lower health states can involve feeling restless and numbed-out. Though the most avoided or repressed feelings are rather emotional hurt and genuine attachment or desire for it. (as that could be „exploitable“) and its not avoided through flight behavior but rather drowned out through intensity seeking(„fuck the pain away“), vented through punitive „acting out“ (ie. Covered by anger) or flat out denied.

9 – another one where low feelings awareness is not uncommon, particularly on the individuals that go so hard on the „best not to think too much about challenging things“ assumption to the point that it leads to little follow up questions or introspection. Also 9 tend to sometimes diffuse their impulses somewhat (so that helpful hints like „i want to punch that bastard!“ dont always appear in consciousness), are sensitive to strongly agitated states (like big feelings) and defense wise tend to to calm themselves down „hardware side“ in response to them, using creature comforts, which might be reasonable for short term or genuinely unfixable issues but may prevent the dots-connecting, processing and addressing on issues that should & could be solved.

All of these come with the big blinking neon arrow caveat that generally Fi types in the mbti will have more feelings awareness than others of the same enneagram type. This is because the Fi function gets it „straight from the source“, as in, the brain regions that show high activity in Fi users are known to be directly connected to the midbrain where feelings „come from“.

So, Fi users will typically know their feelings, likes & dislikes unless they’ve been subjected to extreme neglect.

Especially what is said here about 9 or 6 must be read as „...unless they’re a high Fi type.“

This doesn’t go for Fe users to the same extent as Fe users can tend to suppress inner reactions to produce „appropriate“ ones.

Strategies for improvement.

It might help you to find some more emotionally aware ppl with the same wing combo or similar mbti type and ask them how they "track" it as the same method is likely to work for you - there are probably multiple possible methods.

The first step is not to pressure yourself with expectations – sometimes there might genuinely be not much going on, you might not have a reaction where others do or the reaction you find might not per se be the same as others, & that’s by design after all your feelings are part of your individuality.

If your issue is mainly judging particular types of feelings as „bad“ or „selfish“, it might help you to read up on the concept of Radical Acceptance. (I can picture this being helpful for superego and/or positive folks)

Alternatively, you might have the concern that it might be vulnerable, „out of control“, or „too much“ (an issue you might see for, say, 8, 3 or 5) First becoming aware of your sensitive side all at once as an adult can be a handful, especially if you worry that it might change how you think about yourself or you find that there’s quite a bit of touchyness in there.

It probably helps to remind yourself that noticing doesn’t mean you have to act on it or do anything compromising as a result, especially if its just you in your room. It’s just extra information that, if anything, might help you make more informed choices.

Somatic support or self-soothing techniques might also be helpful like hugging yourself, stroking your cheek as you might for a baby who cant speak yet or ye goode olde deep belly breaths.

Finally, there’s the issue of ppl who are strongly extroverted and not used to introspection (7, 3 or 2) and might have a marked aversion to „stopping“ – something that reportedly works is limiting the timeframe like beginning with shorter meditation sessions of just a few minutes.

Other approaches are trying to „triangulate“ it using outer-directed methods, like looking for clues in your behavior, wondering what you might say to someone else in your situation, or writing letters in roleplay scenarious(„Dear Feelings…“ and then trying to reply back in a sense)

For some types like 6 or 9 it might also be helpful to have a ‚projection space‘, like writing a story about some character you relate to or who is in a similar situation.

Some types like 3, 2 and 9 might also benefit from making a point of thinking over life decisions on their own.

Alternatively if the problem is not so much dealing with it but that you can’t even locate the stuff in the first place, there are multiple approaches for that, too.

One might be trying to pay attention to physical sensations, like just trying to sense into your body at random times of the day or in meditation – I know of one person who napped their writer friends’ thesaurus for describing feelings to triangulate their own feelings.

Alternatively you could go a more direct route and try journaling – if nothing pops up, you could just freeflow ramble/ dump for a page or so and see if you notice tendencies,

Or you could get out one of those feelings wheels come journaling time or when you notice you're having some sort of reaction and try to name it up front You could also try meditating & trying to focus if you sense anything - again, keeping n mind that it's perfectly normal if a lot of the time there isn't anything necessarily aside from maybe some vague background anxiety.

The goal is, in the short term, to get some information about what things or people have which effects on you, and in the long term, to build up & reinforce an intuitive sense of associating sensations with words.

This is totally feasible, the neocortex is a wonderfully adaptable thing - ppl have taught themselves to "see" from having a "picture" shown as pressure points on their skin or to sense magnetic/electrical fields by implanting a magnet in their finger & learning to interpret the subtle shifting sensations it makes. And these are completely new things that humans were never "designed" to do, whereas you should have preexisting circuitry for tracking your feelings even if mom & dad didn't train you to use it just as they should've taught you to recognize shapes colors or animal noises.

A case study.

Something that struck me as interesting to think about while pondering the material for this post is:

How exactly DID I learn to do it as a toddler/ child?

Because I definitely did learn it but I wouldn't have had conscious memory of it or the ability to reflect on it yet.

But I am probably using an old, deeply embedded algorithm every day that I first learned as a baby, much as I do for walking or interpreting what I see - and I would have needed to expand it come puberty when sexual desire first came into the picture.

I'd say I'm pretty aware of and even welcoming of my feelings (even negative ones) so long as it's on a level of intellectual processing, but if it ever gets to a level where there is a physical response strong enough for me to notice, which isn't often, thats exhausting & unpleasant.

Though I've only been recently aware of that distinction if you'd asked my teen self she would've told you that she's all for feelings & given you a big rant about how no one wants to give sadness it's proper space nowadays and everyone wants it all to be pretty presentable & superficial, (like no points for guessing the heart fix) and I would have characterized myself as very feelsy sensitive & artistic & shit, even if I still "want to make decisions on logic"- cue rant about the whole romanticism vs enlightenment contrast as a cultural phenomenon & how feelings and reason are not opposites at all.

I suppose this awareness is because it was mirrored to me by my mom I guess. She is very enthusiastic about small children and when we were babies she would talk to us alot and narrate what we were doing. (adorable ld home video where she is commenting on one of my sisters doing typical baby things and enthusiastically ‚conversing‘ with her in a sing-song voice) And she would say stuff like, "soandso has fine, sincere feelings" or tell how she had to explain to me about recycling cause I was so upset that we were throwing the poor poor milk cartons in the trash. If she had said "shut up and dont make noise" instead of giving attention to my being upset, I probably would have turned out quite differently. Especially since I don't even remember this incident.

If anything it is my occasional lack of outward expressiveness that I was kind of in the dark about, or I just counted experiences related to that as me being "bad with people" or others "misunderstanding" me. My family is all head types except for our token 9 so I suppose they didnt find anything missing so long as I expressed myself verbally.

I'd like to stress that my awareness of physical sensations is very much piss-poor and that I find them rather uncomfortable when they do break into consciousness. I very much fit the typical "resents having to have a body" stereotype. Like feeling the blood pounding in my temples when I'm really, really angry sometimes freaks me out a little bit. - in a lot of books you read ppl, especially type 9 book authors, describing fine gradations thereof, whereas I only really notice when it's something really obvious like crying, sweaty hands etc.

I don't very much associate/ connect my feelings with physical sensations at all. If I notice the sensation at all its more like an additional thing.

I'd say my primary mode of noticing my feelings is by my thoughts or intuitive associations. That's also how I would show it if I was writing a story - if the Pov Character is scared then they would be thinking of the bad concequences that will happen if their fear comes to pass, if they have a crush they are thinking about the person alot and wanting to know more, if they are sad they are thinking about all that they have lost, its implications, everything you can now no longer do because of your loss, feeling betrayed is shown through thinking of the discrepancies & contradiction between what the person said vs what actually happened etc.

In a way that’s kind of the most „practical“ thing to do since my attention is normally on them anyways.

i guess reading and creative pursuits is also something that is shown to lead to greater awareness of feelings & empathy toward others if one does it as a child.

Heck, some of the time I even notice being hungry through finding myself thinking about food or that I'm sleepy cause my concentration begins to slip.

Though maybe its easier to build the association between the two if having a 4 wing gives you a bitty bit of "direct" access to feelingsland.

I suppose in my case it also helps that I am not 9 fixed - if impulse-based thoughts pop in your head like "I want to punch that person" or "I want to run away and lock myself in my room", that's a hint, to say the least. For 1 fixers they would be more filtered/processed already like "this is wrong!".

#enneagram #typology

[partum-memoriae-muses]

Name: Ryan Simmons

Series: Fandomless

Faceclaim: Rayne from Neo Angelique Abyss

Age: 23

Height: 5'10"

Birthday: December 8th

Birthplace: Florida, United States

Orientation: Heterosexual

Species: Human

Occupation: Restaurant waiter

Father: Ronald Simmons

Mother: Annabeth Simmons

Sibling(s): Aubrey, Abby and Amy

Bio:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE AND DRUG ABUSE

Ryan is the oldest of four children and the only son of the family. His parents were extremely neglect towards him and his siblings, but he refused to step up and be a parent for them. Instead, he decided to run off a lot and do his own thing (that being playing at the arcade or getting drunk at the bar). Not like he had a good example to follow as his parents were extremely abusive towards each other but soon worked things out (apparently) after turning to drugs when Ryan was in high school. Ryan didn’t really care about what his parents were doing, he chose to just run away from it all especially when he came home one day to find needles scattered all across the floor.

While Ryan likes to feel like his abusive parents didn’t effect him, it did. He doesn’t believe in committing to a relationship and no matter how well a relationship goes, Ryan would ALWAYS cheat on a girl right as things start to get serious. Perhaps he fears that getting serious with someone will result in him turning out exactly like his parents, they do say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree after all. Even needles seem to make him feel panicked, but he continues to deny that he was ever affected by the horrible actions of his parents.

He’s also quite the asshole as well. He bullied one boy, by the name of Jasper, so horribly that he and some other guys were cruel enough to stab a glass bottle at his face. It was so bad that Jasper had gone permenently blind in one eye. He didn’t really believe it, how could jamming a broken bottle by someone’s eye really cause them to go blind? It wasn’t that he bullied Jasper to make himself feel better or jealous, because he didn’t know anything about Jasper, but he bullied because that’s what he grew up seeing. He always saw his parents beat each other down that he almost thought it was normal to be that way with other people. Though he does have boundaries, he doesn’t hit women. Perhaps it’s this idea to only cause fights with other men is why he often would come home from the bar with bruises all over his body. It doesn’t help his words are rather harsh too, often insulting people or purposefully triggering them just for his own amusement.

Ryan also doesn’t get along with his younger sister, Aubrey either. He doesn’t really get along with any of his sisters, perhaps he feels a sense of hatred to look after anyone else besides himself. Since he didn’t want to help Aubrey get their sisters out of that abusive and drug-filled home, Ryan moved out at nineteen and currently lives in a apartment quite a while away from his sisters. The further away he is from his sisters, the better in his eyes. Though the one sister he hates the most is Aubrey as the two have vastly different world views and Ryan sees his sister as pathetic for being an escort for money despite the fact that it's his fault for completely abandoning her and refusing to help her or their sisters in any way at all. To him, Aubrey is no better than a street walker, being quite a despicable person.

One could only hope that Ryan would someday see the errors of his ways and be the older brother that his sisters need but likely not. Ryan doesn't quite cheat on women anymore after a while, but he never finds himself never getting attatched like a womanizer. The only reason Ryan ever stopped cheating on women was because one of them had taken their anger out on him so far that it was finally a wake up call. He never truly did quite learn to grow up and be a responsible person others can rely on.

Ryan can mostly be easy going, constantly hitting on women to the point of harassment sometimes, but his biggest flaw is his big mouth and irresponsible behavior. He will genuinely insult someone to get a rise out of them. If he managed to get a woman pregnant? He would likely run for it, as cruel as that is. It would have to take someone who's ready to give him a wake up call multiple times for him to grow up and learn to be a person others can rely on for emotional support and to be a real adult.

[levilachance556]

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[indyhypnosis]

Generational Wounds

My family and I flew to Indiana this past week to help my father-in-law pack up his house.

After my wife’s mom passed, my father-in-law, Denny, decided that he could no longer stay in that home, so he sold it and is moving to Florida.

Before we arrived, one of Denny’s friends, since the age of 20, came to give him a head start.

So my son, who’s 15 years old, got to hang out all week with two men in their late 70s, and it was great.

Those two guys are workhorses and always cracking jokes!

They were the first ones up and the last ones to go to bed, and rarely did they stop moving, even though Denny’s friend had two heart attacks over the past few years.

His friend told me, “The doctors say I have a bad heart so they want me to take it easy. I think it’s better that I exercise it.”

And that’s what he did, regardless of what anyone told him.

Their work ethic is something you don’t see as much these days, and they weren’t interested in praise. In fact, they seemed uncomfortable with it.

This was a valuable experience, in spite of how horribly sad it was, because I noticed how many limiting beliefs came out of the post-World War II generation.

I’ve worked incredibly hard to upgrade my mindset, awareness, behaviors, and habits so that I did not remain the kind of person I started out as.

Yet, this last week was like stepping back in time but with all the knowledge of belief patterns I’ve acquired over the years.

For example, the home sale was going smoothly, but if we ever brought it up, the old-timers would sit back in their chairs and, in unison, say, “Oh no, what are you trying to jinx it?”

I learned from Napoleon Hill that you must state what you want for it to happen.

Yet, that generation held the belief that you must keep expectations low so you’re not disappointed when it doesn’t work out.

Frugality was also the golden rule, which is why so many of us have issues with money these days.

The home was on a lake, and the water quality wasn’t that great, so we bought a case of bottled water.

Our dog was thirsty, so my son opened a bottle of water and poured it into a dog dish, and Denny’s friend almost had his third heart attack.

He said, “What’s wrong with the water out of the tap? I’m drinking it.”

When you hang out with as many people as I have, listening to their most painful memories, it becomes obvious why there is so much anxiety and unhappiness today, even when we have more wealth and modern advances than ever before in history.

Generations of limiting beliefs, superstitions, and cautionary tales have been passed through the timelines that caused grandparents, parents, and children to behave in ways that continually sabotage happiness, emotional maturity, and inner peace.

However, we are turning a corner in human history, and the One Belief Away™ Method is going to help millions of people end the cycle of needless emotional suffering for themselves and their families.

Thus, I’m calling for those who have the desire to be a part of this mission to join me by becoming a One Belief Away™ Hypnotist or One Belief Away™ Coach (it’s the same thing, but some people like the word hypnosis and others don’t).

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[leftit]

I don't fully understand why most of the adults around me in elementary school treated me as if they hated me. I was aloof to most people, probably due at least partly to my upbringing with my parents, and I showed no great enthusiasm for anything, because emotional displays always terrified me, which could be seen as me not caring, but why would my teachers assume that me, at 8 years old, was anything more than loveless? Did they forget that children are especially capable of change or did they not see it?

I did not listen to authority well, because I learned that authority used power unfairly. If someone in a position of power did something that didn't make sense, I'm positive that I either wouldn't really listen to them, or that my dissatisfaction would show on my face. Maybe that's it, they felt I could not be disciplined? Their hate for me really hurts me sometimes. I don't think any child should be treated the way that I was.

There are a few events that I really remember highlighted this. One of my best friends at the time was a kid who I'll call B. He was labeled a "bad kid" by many of the teachers, and by most of the students. It was obvious that he had adhd, though I did not know what this was at the time, and he spoke of a horrible family life, his father left them, his mother had drug and alcohol problems, and at the age of 8 or 9 he was pretty much fending for himself. He was a kind boy, impulsive, but sweet, though he was, on occasion, so blunt and unaware of social taboo that he would get into trouble with others. He was punched in the face once by another student because he accidentally called her fat, for example. I think I felt a lot like him inside, although I always tried my best to behave, since I saw how he was exiled almost from education entirely by these teachers who hated his inability to listen, which was, to them I suppose, a rebellion. When I thought about his future, I remember getting the impression that he would either become something like a wonderful, strange scientist, (he had a scientific mind) or that he would be doomed to fail, doomed to take after his mother. Sadly, he turned out to be the latter. I think that this was inevitable given how he was treated by the adults in school, however.

"It's not our fault if some of the kids are misbehaving. We must put an end to it, we must do what we are here to do regardless of any outcries, any calls for help or understanding." Was the overall driving force of the management, and many of the counselors when I worked at summer camp. They may have hated me there for the same reasons as my teachers in elementary school hated me. I did my best to help the students who needed my help, but I was stretched very thin, and saw, and was concerned (to the point of total despair and mental collapse on occasion) that one human being was incapable of understanding all of the kids on the level that the few may have needed. I didn't want to see anyone turn out like B, and didn't want to treat anyone how I was treated. This anxiety weighed heavily on me, so nightly, I brainstormed ways that I could do more in specific situatuons, and generally, with the groups I was counseling. This prevented me from ever sleeping well that summer, but I did not have the intuition for children that some people seem to, so I had to really work through all of these issues in my mind, that seemed to come so naturally to others. When I asked for assistance from others, they either didn't know what to do, or they dismissed me for whatever reason. I'm sure most of them were very stressed too. I don't blame them, but by the end, the administration there openly hated me, and talked often about how awful I was at counseling, and how I didn't care. I resigned myself to this image, after failing to change it, and, loathing them at this point, did not care what impression I made on them. I simply did what I felt was right, sometimes making silly mistakes, well-meaning and sleep-deprived. There were a few times where a child came to me, and told me that one of the administration people "ranted" about me when they were with them. Hearing this was actually sort of nice. It felt like they were really the ones who "gave up".

I don't like how similar these situations are! And it makes me sad to see how this awful behavior by people in positions of authority continues, and how in that position, one feels so helpless, and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of personalities, and worse, the authority over us. A teacher of a child likely feels the same, the same pressure that children feel under them, and also the pressure on them to be a good leader from the children. It feels impossible to be a good teacher if these are the circumstances, though I met a few who were exceptions. I wish I knew what it was that made them different, perhaps I will analyze this further at another time. I'm very sleepy.

[peakysanakin]

a bit about Elain's trauma and why it correlates with her rejecting her mating bond with Lucien in the future, a thread:

(WARNING: this post isn't about ships, except Elucien because Lucien is a key factor in Elain's trauma. )

Everyone deals with trauma in their own way and that's totally okay. Some are destructive, some shut people up and others want to not feel anything. Elain, just as Nesta, went into the Cauldron and those moments were horrific for her.

She is literally dragged and shoved into the Cauldron while she cries, struggles and kicks to escape the guards' grasps. The guards and the King keep laughing at her during the whole time.

Elain is used as an experiment for the Queens.

She is used as if she was a mere object.

Her body has been changed forever and she is practically naked, completely terrified and in shock from whatever she has gone through inside the Cauldron. (We know how terrifying and horrible it can be because of Nesta's experience.) Everyone is looking at her, some are even laughing.

Do you know how violating this could feel? To be left naked and vulnerable in front of people who have just terrorized you? How would you feel?

We don't know what she goes through inside the Cauldron, but it was probably very painful and terrifying. Then, she is thrown off it and she experiences this horrific scene, and her mating bond with Lucien snaps.

Another thing has been decided for her.

Not only has her body and life been changed forever without her consent, now her romantic relationship has been decided for her as well. And it's with a man who participated in the plan that made this horrific moment happen.

Lucien is an accomplice of that. He isn't a bad person, but he is CLEARLY an accomplice. (GO NESTA!!)

Elain is dealing with her trauma and she doesn't own Lucien anything. She suffered so much, she was broken and traumatized by what happened to her.

And Lucien and their mate bond are a BIG reminder of the day her body and life were changed against her own will.

We don't know much about her, but we have seen enough of her suffering and how traumatized she is in the books. Feyre always admired Elain's strength, because being kind and gentle in a world so dark takes balls, you know? Later on in the books, Elain is still kind and gentle but more reserved and quiet because she is dealing with her own shit.

Strength doesn't equal to physical force. A big example? Queen Elizabeth I of England was strong and she never fought in a battlefield, but she was intelligent, cunning and brought a Golden Age to her country. She made a place for herself in a patriarcal society and that's how strong she was.

Elain's strength differs from Nesta's, Mor's and Feyre's. She isn't an active fighter like them, but yet she had the guts to fight in the war and stabbed the King on the neck to protect Nesta because she loves her sister and would die for her. Look at this.

No one wanted her to fight, but she chose to. SHE CHOSE TO! This is important. She is scared in the battle camp and doesn't know how to fight or wield a sword, yet she trusts her friends and wants to fight alongside them. 

She might die in the battlefield, but at least she will fight fighting and not be a pawn.

She will enact revenge for what the King did to Nesta, to Feyre and to herself.

MOREOVER –– Another big trauma (aside from happened inside the Cauldron and the dramatic changes in her life), it will probably be center around her body. 

Her clothes, body and beauty are mentioned all the time. ALL THE TIME. Elain, who was a very proper and modest lady (and didn't want to talk about periods even with her sisters), was seen naked against her will by everyone and she probably felt violated.

Feyre mentions Elain's reaction when she sees her and Nesta wearing Illyrian fighting leathers. She mentions how Elain was offered something less scandalous and more proper. 

Imagine how someone so proper would feel after being used and seen all vulnerable and naked by so many people? To have been ogled against your will? To be seen as an “object” to see whether the Cauldron worked?

Nesta is a sexual assault survivor and she also suffered because of their youth, Feyre's sacrifice to provide for them and Elain suffering from the Cauldron incident. She dealt with her trauma in her own way, just as Elain deals with it in her own way. And that's okay!

In Elain's book, her choosing who she wants to be with and how she wants to live from now on will be important. She will turn down Lucien, as it is obvious from what I explained above and because of the following:  Feyre and Rhys comment on how being mates doesn't equal to being right for each other.

Sarah J. Maas said this as well.

She also said that a mating bond is something rare but that some people might be lucky and end up having two. But the main thing is: 

Elain will reject Lucien because they aren't right for each other and she will chose whomever she wants to because she loves that person. That's big and it will be key to the plot.

Elain might end up being lucky and while falling for another person, a new mating bond might develop. But at the end of the day, it will be her choice. 

Not the Cauldron's choice, not society's choice or anyone else. 

Hers and hers alone.

You think she is boring? Well, we will learn more about her and we will see her heal from her trauma. Her body and her choices have been violated, but she will heal and grow for that and gain ownership over herself once again. 

Rhys, Amren and Feyre believe there is more to her than just the kindness she shows. 

“Maybe she was never given the chance to be that way.” “You think I stifle her?” “Not you alone. [...] But I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d dissapoint you all. [...] With time and safety, perhaps we’ll see a different side of her emerge”

“You think Elain is boring?” “I think she’s kind, and I’ll take that kindness over nastiness every day. But I also think we haven’t yet seen all she has to offer.”

“Don’t forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one’s hands dirty along the way.”

“You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Being a seer gives you many powers, but it would take me too much time so I recommend you to read this LONG AND AMAZING list of powers a seer might have posted by @miru5llec​ and you will be shocked and hyped.

If you like mythology and fantasy literature, you know seers are feared and respected. Kings have killed for having a seer in their ranks. They can reach levels of divine status and their ability as a seer gives them many more powers than those I have mentioned before.

Elain might not be physically powerful like Nesta or Feyre, but being a seer makes her more powerful than both of them but IN ANOTHER WAY. Look at the list above (linked) if you don't believe me. 

Her being on the Night Court makes Feysand's court the most powerful in Prythian.

That's why Elain is not boring and her trauma is valid. There is much more to her than what little we have seen. SJM has said so. Rhys, Feyre, Amren, everyone has said so in the books. We will learn about her, see her heal and chose who to love in her book.

“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

We will see her develop her powers and learn how to use them. She is possibly the key to killing Koschei (the big bad villain) because she might have visions of where his heart is hidden in that fucking box and guide the IC to find it.

Furthermore, stop saying “I want Elucien to happen so Lucien can be happy.” or “Azriel deserves better than Elain because she likes to garden and is mated to Lucien.”

Elain doesn’t belong to Lucien.

Elain can garden, bake and walk around on her hands while singing La Macarena and that doesn’t make her any less strong than Feyre, Mor, Nesta or any other female character.

(Also, in this stupid ship war I have seen people pointing out how she wouldn't be able to give Azriel children because her body isn't Illyrian. This is disgusting. You are basically saying that all her worth lies in whether she can give someone children or not.

Do I remind you adoption exists? Rhys, Cassian and Azriel are brothers by choice, not by blood and they are BROTHERS. You can adopt and be a mother. And you can chose to not have children and that would be okay too. A woman's worth isn't in her uterus.

And that’s it. 

(I posted this thread on Twitter as well, so if you liked it you can go there and RT it or hit a like.)

[og post]

#acosf #acosf spoilers #elain archeron #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #elucien #elriel #nessian #feysand #acotar #acomaf #acowar #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and embers #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #gwyn berdara #gwynriel