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#it's a mask I've been wearing for so long I'm not sure who I'd be without it or what's been festering underneath
purplekissinger · 3 months
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I am the pretty thing that lives in the castle
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And I pray one prayer - I repeat it till my tongue stiffens - Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you - haunt me, then!  Emily Bronte, ‘Wuthering Heights’.
Y/N became a ghost instead of Myrtle. She couldn't care less about Tom. He wishes he could say the same. Wordcount: 3k.
At their first meeting, Tom even shrieked a little (as he later justified, solely because Y/N took him by surprise). He crept towards the sinks that bathed in the bluish light of the moon, and did not at all expect that someone would jump at him from the ceiling with a  “Boo!”
“Boo,” Y/N said reluctantly and passed through him like a light bluish cloud. Tom closed his eyes, but didn’t feel anything.
“Good evening to you too,” he said, looking at her cautiously. Y/N floated up to the ceiling and was now studying the stucco, running her ghostly finger absentmindedly over the frozen gargoyle masks. “What's new?”
“As you may guess, absolutely nothing,” Y/N responded, “but I like that you’re trying to be polite. It's nice.”
“Do you feel ‘nice’?”
“Not really. I'm using words that I learned in life, but they don't quite describe my experience because I've never experienced anything like this before. I'd rather you be polite than rude, and that's my new “nice.”
Tom looked at her, a luminous spot against the black wall, which trembled slightly, like the wings of a strange butterfly. Y/N died wearing a thin shirt, but there was no longer any way she could be cold or get sick.
“If I didn’t know you were a Ravenclaw, I would have guessed by now,” he said.
“I was different when I was alive,” Y/N said judiciously. “More lively”
“You sure were”.
“No, I mean it. I can't explain it enough for you to understand, but this experience is...changing. Everything becomes so transparent, unreal. If I were the same, I would have already cried barrels of tears and flooded the toilet”.
“There is someone who is eager to do that for you,” Tom said gloomily. “Myrtle has been whining all day long, telling everyone what a wonderful friend you were.”
“Me?”  Y/N sounded surprised. “I can’t remember that we were friends. However, I did stand up for her a couple of times…”
Tom kept silent a little longer, angrily tapping his fingers on the broken edge of the sink. When falling, already dead, Y/N hit her head here. They didn't fix the sink, instead, they put a lock on the toilet door, but Tom sneaked in almost every evening.
“Is that why you’re not angry at me for killing you?” he finally asked.
“Well, technically you didn’t kill me. You just released a basilisk, which also didn't do anything against its nature, so it's kind of like an accident. Although I can understand why you didn’t tell anyone about it all,” Y/N said. “No, that’s not the reason why”.
“You are very understanding,” said Tom. “Is it okay if I stay here a little longer? I need to prepare an essay on the history of magic, and tomorrow is the final match between the badgers and Slytherin. All of Hogwarts is shaking”.
“Make yourself at home,” Y/N said indifferently.
She went down to the Chamber of Secrets with him when the time came to seal it. Hovering silently two steps behind him, she looked at the tunnels and rusty gratings that were many, many centuries old, and for the first time something like curiosity was reflected on her transparent face. For some reason this made Tom feel almost happy. Y/N’s curiosity became almost human when, rustling its scales, a huge snake slowly crawled out of the black hole in the wall and surrounded them with a ring, and put its terrible head so as to get a better look at the guests, and hissed in greeting.
“I've read that those who speak Parseltongue can look a basilisk in the eyes and survive,” said Tom, looking down, “but I don’t want to test that.”
Y/N  looked fearlessly with her dead eyes straight into the face of the creature.
“Yes, the cost of a mistake would be very high,” she said. “What is your pet's name?”
“Susie,” Tom said quietly. “It's a girl”.
Y/N smiled weakly.
“Hello, Susie,” she said. Susie let out a squeal that sounded more like a laugh. “Nice to meet you. Unfortunately, this is not for long, because we have come to seal the Chamber of Secrets forever.”
“For a while,” Tom corrected her. “Susie, I'll be back, I promise. I don't know when, but I'll be back”.
He closed his eyes and stretched his hands forward. The basilisk poked its terrible mouth into his chest, and Tom hugged her. 
***
When Tom returned to school the next year, no one noticed anything, and he even began to think that the ritual did not work, but as soon as he crossed the threshold of the toilet on the third floor, a quiet exclamation was heard from under the ceiling:
“Oh! Tom, what happened to you?”
Like a feather or a petal, Y/N slowly descended towards him. Tom looked at her and thought that flying suited her well.
“Is it that noticeable?” he asked suspiciously.
“You have become very small,” Y/N said, flying around him. “Like this,” and made a small circle with her hands. “Where did half of you go?”.
This is how he learned that ghosts see the effects of Horcruxes.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised. “Who was it?”
And Tom told her. About everything, about how he found out who the Gaunts were, about how he found his uncle, about the Riddles, about how scary it was to look at his father’s corpse, because he was so very alike him, about how he made a Horcrux right there while the bodies were still warm. It was easy for him, he wanted to talk, to free himself from every detail, take it out of his head, let Y/N look, discuss, judge.
She was in no hurry to judge. She just said:
“This could backfire on you.”
“How?” Tom suddenly felt offended. He just now realized that he would like her to admire what a cool magician he is, and maybe even clap her hands.
“I know more than you,” she said vaguely. “Not everything, perhaps, but more. Yes, I’m still on the threshold, but from where I’m standing, it’s clear that you acted very rashly.”
“What do you mean by ‘still’?"
She didn't answer.
All autumn, winter and summer he went to visit Y/N, even leaving textbooks in a niche by the window. It was quiet and somehow very cozy there, the light from the window was so gentle, and on sunny days the stained glass windows seemed to light up with colored lights. Y/N was silent for the most part, but seeing her figure out of the corner of his eye and hearing her thoughtful humming under her breath was... nice. This was his new “nice”, because something inside of him began to change inexplicably, irreversibly and horribly.
In winter, he asked her to come to the Yule Ball, and she agreed, and she blew out all the candles and ruined the chandelier. Oh, the chaos!.. And in the spring they celebrated Y/N’s first Deathday Party. For this occasion Tom stole a lemon pie from the kitchen, but Y/N politely thanked him and said that she couldn’t eat that. She fluttered back and forth, he chewed on the pie, they argued about the technique of using Fiendfyre, and it was a nice evening.
“I won’t come back here in the fall,” Tom said suddenly, because in fact that’s all he’s been thinking about for the last few days.
“I know,” Y/N said. “You are in seventh year. I can count to seven”.
“But I’ll come back someday,” he said stubbornly. “I just don’t know when”.
“I think I’ve already heard this once”.
“I’ll come back for Susie too, don’t you worry.”
“And what will we do then, riddle me this?”
“Seize the Ministry of Magic,” he blurted out. “Y/N, I'll miss you. Will you miss me?”
“I would like to tell you something nice in response, but I’ll tell the truth. Maybe I won't be here soon.”
He suddenly felt very hot. Then terribly cold.
“What do you mean you won’t be here? Where are you going to go?” Tom asked in an unnaturally high voice. “Aren’t you here forever?”
“Not really,” Y/N answered evasively. “You see, when I died, I was not at all ready for this”.
“Can anyone possibly be ready for this?”
“You must be ready, Tom. Now I know that. I was confused and made... the wrong choice. Stuck on the threshold. Didn't go any further. But I can step forward at any moment, I just need to think it over carefully and make a decision”.
“Can’t you step back?” Tom asked. He did not put hope into these words, but it sounded nevertheless.
“No,” Y/N answered simply. “I died, Tom”.
He rested his hand on his cheek and watched her spin, arms outstretched, right up to the ceiling, the invisible wind blowing her hair. He said:
“I regret that I didn’t know you when you were alive. I think we could become friends.”
“We could,” Y/N agreed. “But for this to happen you shouldn’t have killed me”.
Tom jumped up sharply and, his burning face hid in his hands, quickly walked out of the room. The door slammed so loudly that the noise echoed throughout the entire corridor.
***
Tom did not soon cross this threshold again.
He walked from Dumbledore's office after the first unsuccessful job interview in his life, he wanted to get out of the castle as quickly as possible so as not to endure this humiliation anymore, but his feet themselves led him to the third floor.
“You have become even smaller,” said a familiar voice, which he had only dreamed about in the morning. Loud, distant, but somehow comforting. “You're barely visible”.
Tom was silent. He looked and still did not believe that he was seeing her again. Finally he grinned and stepped forward.
“But you’re still the same,” he said.
“The same, but not quite,” Y/N objected, going down to meet him. “I thought a lot and almost decided to take a step further”.
“But not yet?”
“Not yet. This is a complex process, and it doesn't get any easier now that I have all the time in the world”.
“What exactly are you doing?” Tom asked, leaning against the wall. A forgotten feeling of comfort covered him in a cool wave. He felt like he wanted to stay.
“I’m thinking,” Y/N said. “A lot”.
“Don’t you need to, I don’t know, take revenge on your murderer?” he asked and realized that it sounded like a request. Lord Voldemort had a lot of requests that day.
“No, thanks,” said Y/N. She looked him up and down with a curious look and added: “It seems to me that there’s not much left of him anyway.”
Tom tiredly sank to the floor and tucked his legs under him. He wanted to talk to her again and again, so that she would answer sharply, but always to the point. He wanted her to scream at him, to rush to claw his eyes out, he wanted her to thirst for revenge.
“I sometimes saw you in my dreams,” he said. “Like we’re friends or something.”
“I have nothing to do with this,” Y/N said. “Have you made any living friends over the years?”
“Wait for me,” Lord Voldemort said without listening to her. He wanted it to sound like an order, but it turned out to be the third request.  “Y/N, I figured out how to defeat death.”
“Sure you did”.
“I am not lying. I really fought it all this time and almost won”.
“I wish you would know how stupid you look now.”
“Are you going to listen or not?! I tell you, wait, I will bring you back, I will fix everything, you will be alive again, I will get you out…”
“Promise?”
“Yes, yes!”
“Lord Voldemort's promise?”
She smiled. Unable to look at her, Tom stormed out.
***
The third time he returned to the castle was on May 2, 1998. He walked along the empty corridors of the third floor, and his steps echoed loudly. He was going to congratulate Y/N on her yet another Deathday. In his hands was not a lemon pie, but an Elder Wand.
The door to the girls' toilet was blown off its hinges by the explosion. He crossed the threshold and saw that the stained glass windows were broken, and golden dawn rays were pouring into the room. For a second it seemed to him that the place was empty, that he was late.
“Oh, Merlin!” a familiar laugh rang out. “What's happened to you, Tom? You have become so very small, smaller than a mouse!”
She came down from the ceiling as before, but for the first time he saw her in the pink rays of the sun, and she seemed almost alive. For the first time he saw her almost alive.
“Come with me, Y/N”, he said softly. His hand trembled a little, grasping his wand. “I will bring you back to life. I will give you back everything and  even more. Soon I will have the Resurrection Stone, and you will live again”.
She laughed even louder, twirled as if in a dance, and he felt uneasy.
“Stupid, stupid Tom,” Y/N said. “Still don’t get this, do you? Everyone gets smarter over the years, but you seem to only get dumber”.
And no Avada Kedavra could shut her up.
“But I'm glad you came. Really, I am. I wanted to say goodbye to you, Tom. I'm finally making that step”.
“No,” Lord Voldemort said in a changed voice. “Don’t. Don’t you dare”.
“Or else what?”
“Don't do this”, when was the last time he begged for something, pleaded? Was it with her?! “Stay. Stay, Y/N. I told you, I'll bring you back!”
“You forgot the magic word”. Y/N giggled. She sank to the floor and looked at him cheerfully and seriously at the same time. “I feel sorry for you, Tom”.
He had heard it once before, but coming from her it sounded and felt like “Crucio.”
“I have to go, really. There's no time to chat. I’ll tell you one more thing. Soon you will be offered a choice one last time, so please, please, don’t be stubborn. Can you do this for me?”
Tom looked at her desperately, afraid to blink, and still missed the moment when Y/N melted into the air.
***
The empty platform shines white, as if it were covered with snow. There are no trains here. No people, too. The bench blackens on the platform like a wound. A faint whimper came from under the bench.
A girl is walking along the platform.
She is wearing a thin shirt, but there is no way that she could be cold. The blue tie is fluttering in the invisible wind. She hurries to the bench, bends down, carefully takes out the bundle of robes from there, and opens it, and smiles a little and carefully presses it to her chest.
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suzukiblu · 7 months
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WIP guessing game: help
"I know about Billy, Marvel," Batman says, and Billy . . . blinks.
"You know?!" he sputters. Okay, so apparently his secret identity was just . . . literally never a secret at all, then. Which, well–Batman, so that just figures, really. So actually this is kind of a relief and might even mean that he's fine with–
"Yes," Batman confirms with a nod. "So I understand your current reservations about parenthood."
. . . wait what.
"Huh?" Billy says, blinking stupidly at him.
"I don't know how much of you is still C.C. Batson or what you do or don't remember about being him," Batman says. "But the resemblance is undeniable, if nothing else. Certainly your and your wife's deaths were . . . well, suspicious. And you're hardly the first archeologists to dig up a god or six."
Oh, okay. Well.
This is apparently what Billy gets for his personal mental image of a "hero" being his dad, then, isn't it.
Crap.
"To be honest I've been looking for Billy for a while now, I just didn't want to bring it up before I found him," Batman admits, looking dissatisfied with himself. "My most recent reliable intel puts him in Fawcett City, but I assume you're aware of that, given your evident attachment to the place."
"You're looking for Billy?" Billy asks incredulously. "Why?"
"Because he's your son," Batman says. "And because he's a homeless child who's been abused and neglected and needs help. I honestly don't know where you go when you're not being Captain Marvel–frankly I'm not sure if you even exist when you're not being Captain Marvel, given what little I actually know about your powers and your death and your role as the Champion of Magic and just how damn impossible you are to find when you're off-duty–but I'm assuming that wherever it happens to be is not necessarily conducive to providing a stable home environment and being legally dead certainly can't be helping with that, so my original intention was to find the boy and help you arrange some manner of care for and visitation with him. And given the revelation of your relation to Robin, well . . . I'd like to take Billy in myself, if you'd both be comfortable with that. It seems . . . appropriate, under the circumstances."
"You want to foster Billy because I'm Robin's soulmate?" Billy says, absolutely positive that he's misunderstood literally every single word that just came out of Batman's mouth. There is no possible way that he did not.
"It's not exactly out of my wheelhouse," Batman replies wryly. "Although I'll be keeping this one out of the tights, ideally. Though I make no long-term promises about that because quite frankly at this point I'm spoiled for soulmates who insist on wearing capes and I wouldn't really be surprised to turn up another one, especially given that Robin is yours and your own involvement in the superhero community."
Billy stares at him.
"Wait, are all the Gotham vigilantes your soulkids?" he blurts unthinkingly.
"Not all," Batman says. "But, well . . . probably more of them than you'd expect."
"Oh my god," Billy says in disbelief. "And you're just telling me that?! You don't tell people things, you're Batman!"
"I haven't always been the father I should have been," Batman says, and then he pulls down his cowl. Billy chokes, and then chokes again because apparently Batman is Bruce freaking Wayne and his brain just . . . just needs a moment to process that fact, like there is literally any way whatsoever that he could ever actually process that fact. He would've been less surprised to see a Kardashian under that mask, he's pretty sure. At least they've got athletes in the family, technically! "So I'm not going to make things difficult for you with Robin. Clearly he needs more than I'm capable of providing, and I'm perfectly willing to be transparent and to co-parent with you as much as possible. I want Robin to be safe and content and grow up well, and frankly put, Batson, you've proven yourself to be a good man time and again and I trust you to do what's best by our son."
Okay, well, now Billy just feels like dirt.
"You do know what happened to Billy, don't you?" he asks just a little bit desperately, because there is literally no way that this conversation is a real and actual thing that's really and actually happening. "Like, just–everything that happened there? There's a reason he's not in school or the system or with a relative or anything like that."
"What happened to Billy wasn't your fault," Batman tells him, meeting his eyes all quiet and intent and sincere. "And I will do everything in my power to help you make it right."
"Oh no, you're actually like . . . just genuinely a really good person, aren't you," Billy says despairingly, staring at him all over again and really, really wishing he could swear right now.
Maybe he'll just go throw himself into the sun. Maybe that's what he'll just go and do.
The corner of Batman's mouth quirks up wryly. His eyes even crinkle a little, which Billy can see on account of his total lack of cowl right now, oh god.
Billy despairs.
"I mean it," Batman says gently. "It wasn't your fault, and it doesn't mean you can't be a good father now."
"I need to talk to Robin," Billy says, because he definitely, definitely needs to talk to Robin. Batman inclines his head in an accepting nod, because Batman is probably under the impression that Billy wants to go give Robin a good ol' traditional "I know I'm not your biodad but I'm here for you, champ!" kind of speech, and Billy just . . . really cannot explain the real situation to him right now. Or ever.
Can he just lie to Batman for the rest of their lives, maybe? He can just pretend to be his own dad for the Justice League and keep dodging whatever Bat-surveillance happens to be in Fawcett and parent his older-than-he-is soulmate, right? That's a thing that he can do?
That's probably not a thing that he can do.
Although he might be willing to try, at this point.
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Okay, okay s/o being part of Itto's gang and Sara is constantly annoyed by the shenningans.
(Genshin Impact) Sara's S/O being part of Itto's gang
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Sara regrets many things in her life. The people she wronged during the Vision Hunt Decree. The arrests she made.
And the biggest regret of all, falling in love with a dumbass of immeasurable magnitude.
Whenever they were with her alone, S/O was the sweetest person she had ever met.
They didn't care about who she was supposed to be, they loved her for her. Not as a general, or a daughter of the Kujou family, just Sara.
S/O was always so polite and courteous with her, never failing to put a smile on her face.
But the moment they were with Itto?
====
Sara had received news of a disturbance from the Arataki Gang, specifically demanding for her presence.
She showed up, ready to throw a couple of morons into a holding cell until she saw S/O alongside Itto, and 2 other members wearing-
(Sara) "By the Shogun, what the hell are you wearing?"
They were all wearing matching red and white striped uniforms, with fake mustaches and straw hats.
(S/O) "Back me up boys!" ahem "I may not always love youuuuu-~"
(Everyone) "BUT LONG AS THERE ARE STAAARS ABOVE YOUUUUU!
YOU NEVER NEEEEED TO DOUBT IIIIT!
I'LL MAKE YOU SO SURE ABOUT IIIIT!-"
(S/O) "-God-
(Itto) "-God-!"
(Everyone) "-GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I'D BEEEE, WITHOUT YOOOUUUU!~"
Their voices were completely out of harmony, and grating to the ears.
Worst of all, it was drawing attention, and everyone was beginning to connect the dots.
S/O had gotten the gang to provide backup vocals for a love song, for her.
(Sara) "Cease this racket at once, or I will throw you into the cells myself! This is a public area, you can't just start bursting into song like this!"
(S/O) "Aw, do you not like the song?-"
Sara shut her eyes as she felt her cheeks intensify in heat.
(Sara) "Do not change the subject on me, S/O!"
She had half a mind to smite them where they stood. Honestly, she was pretty close to doing so.
(Itto) "Ah come on, no one sings better than the Arataki Quartet! Right guys?"
(Arataki Gang Member 1) "Yeah!"
(Arataki Gang Member 2) "Dang right, boss!"
(S/O) "No one's better than us!"
====
S/O was involved in Beetle fighting, specifically making sure to call theirs "Sara" too.
If it wasn't for Shinobu's help, S/O and Itto would have been smacked upside the head by Sara more times than she could count.
And Archons above, S/O argues so loudly about her wings!
(S/O) "No, I won't let Sara make you fly off! Stop asking, man!"
(Itto) "Whaat?! Come on bro, just ONE flight is all I'm asking!"
(S/O) "Those wings are MINE! Back off!"
(Sara) "I'm standing right here! And they're mine, S/O."
(S/O) "Aw come on, I've seen you smile when you let me nap on your wi-"
(Sara) "S-SHUT UP! Don't go announcing that to the entire world!"
(Itto) "Bleh! TMI, nevermind, don't want it!"
Honestly, Sara has no idea how she fell in love with this idiot.
...But she couldn't deny that it did make her feel happy at times.
(Itto) "Goood, S/O never shuts up about you!"
(Shinobu) "Boss, not exactly a good idea to insult S/O to her face."
(Itto) "Psh, it's not exactly false either!"
(Sara) "R-Really?"
(Itto) "GOD yeah! They keep goin' on and on about how sweet you are, it's like, DUDE! I KNOW! YOU SAID IT LIKE, FIVE TIMES NOW!"
Sara lets a small smile escape her lips before clearing her throat.
(Sara) "Hmph. I'll talk to them."
(Itto) "Please do, I'm gonna jump off a cliff the next time they start gushing about you!"
Itto walked off, leaving Shinobu and Sara alone.
(Shinobu) "...So you're going to kill them for gushing aloud how much they love you, right?"
(Sara) "Probably."
Shinobu chuckled, her mask muffling her voice.
(Sara) "I just wish they could express their love in ways that didn't make my veins burst in anger."
(Shinobu) "Psh, we both know you secretly love it."
(Sara) "I do not."
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elulsdr · 11 months
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WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?
PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3
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hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.
it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)
PILE 1
people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.
PILE 2
oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)
PILE 3
hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.
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youareabird · 1 year
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James Cordon
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Lights flashed as a sound of applause sounded. You sat comfortably on a long couch, Bella on your right and James Corden sitting on a chair beside the couch. The audience was full of people of all ages, wearing masks and sitting in silence.
"Bless you for being here, Thank you so much for coming Bella and Y/N. It's you first time here in Los Angeles, are you guys loving This Los Angeles sunshine that you've been greeted by?" James began.
Bella opened their mouth and spoke, "I've seen like 10 minutes total of sunshine since I've been here. I got here like December 30th and it's really has been raining."
"Its just rained every day." you say lightly. Your legs were crossed at the ankles and your hand was in your lap, the other laying behind Bella on the couch.
"It's nice, it's quite British."
"Yeah, it's- it really is, it does feel like home doesn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, it does now, we're into a new year. 2023. Uh, Y/N did you make any resolutions at the start of this year? Any intentions?"
"I mean, I'd love to get more sleep." You laugh lightly, eyes fixated on the older man.   "There wasn't much of it last year."
"Yeah that's right." Bella agreed. The glasses that perched on their nose glistened with each movement of her head. Their blue clad arm yanked yours from behind, resting it on the couch in-between the both of you. Hand centimeters away from yours. 
"Now, Bella, we're so thrilled you're here were all such fans. You are from a pat of the united kingdom called, Leicestershire. Now, that's such a lovely part of the country. Now, some British actors struggle with an American accent but yours is absolutely brilliant.-"
"Thank you."
"- How did you get your accent in such great shape?"
"Um, I had a dialect coach which was helpful and uh we started the, the first phrase I mastered was like 'Olive oil.'"
"Olive oil."
"Its really hard, like olive oil is hard and also, ****"
"Wow." he laughed shockingly.
"Yeah, I remember just hearing them say it all the time on set, same with olive oil." you laugh, remembering the memories of being on set.
"We're curse words an important part of the learning dialect?"
"Yeah, because the the character I play, Ellie. Curses in the show like every two seconds so like that was definitely important and like I mean there's so many."
"Oh yeah, there wasn't a part of the day where you wouldn't hear her saying some words. I cursed so much growing up, so I was very proud."
"And did you ever get in trouble?"
"Oh yeah, I got grounded so many times after they heard. They were so shocked at the words that came out of my mouth at such a young age."
"So, Y/N have you spent any time in the United Kingdom? What do you think of the place?"
"Yeah I do."
"Okay, do you enjoy it when you're there?"
"Yeah I do, I go there pretty often to see this joker. Its very expensive over there." you shrugged, feeling the warmth from your friends' hand inch closer to yours, "I don't usually have to pay, get treated like royalty over there." you laugh.
"Treated like royalty?"
"Oh yeah, Bella makes sure I'm indulging in all the food and having the best time over there."
"Now, lets talk about your guys' highly anticipated show. I think this is going to be one of the biggest shows of the year. Its called, 'The last of us.' and tell us who you play and what it's about."
"Yeah, so, I play Ellie Williams. She journeys across uh America with uh a guy called Joel who she really doesn't really take to initially. Um, they travel looking for a sort of a cure for this cordyceps infection which is ravaging, um, the world because Ellie is somehow immune. And along the journey she meets Jamie which is Y/N's character and they sort of become friends."
"Right, and its basically its kind of like its all taking place in the sort of zombie apocalypse."
"Yes."
"I mean, how do you think you would fare in such an apocalypse, would you be good-"
"Terrible, my response to stress is often to freeze. So fight, flight will freeze and they tend to freeze. Um, actually, the zombies in this show, the clickers, like like the whole point is that if you need if you are completely still then they're not going to figure out where you are. So maybe I would be okay?"
"Like Jurassic park."
"I've never seen Jurassic park."
"You've never seen Jurassic park?" 
"Really?" you gasp with surprise.
"The gasps, my goodness. Never."
"Any of them?"
"No."
"You  absolutely should."
Pointing toward the crowd, "Well, they're all old enough to watch the original and I'm not but I've still seen all of them. They're were my favorite movies growing up." you say.
They looked towards you, eyes wide, "You'll have to show me them then."
"Maybe we can watch them when we get back to the hotel." you say smugly. A smile dancing along your face.
"You two seem to be very close."
"We are." Bella confirmed.
"People think you're dating sometimes."
"yeah, we've heard that a lot."
"You guys seem to flirt unknowingly."
You sigh as he says that, "I don't think its unknowingly." you joke lightly. A pinky finger reaches yours, intertwining tightly.
"We should be dating." they said matter of factly, looking at you with wide eyes.
James smiles lightly at the interaction, a smile on his face as he watched you two talk. The crowd was going crazy, eating up every word that you two spoke. "We should." you agree, eyes flittering across Bella face.
"I hate to interrupt but we should be ending this pretty soon. Do have anything else you want to say?"
Still looking at Bella, you pull their hand into your lap. "Yes, actually -" you began. Rubbing your thumb across the back of their hand, "Bella, you wanna do me the honor of completing everyone's dream"
"I would love." he says dreamily.
216 notes · View notes
It's time they knew (Tobin Heath x Reader)
Based on this request. I'm sorry for how long this has taken me to finish, but I hope you like it!
I'm slowly working my way through my requests. Things might take a little while now that I'm studying for the next couple of months and it's getting closer to winter which is the busy season at work. Please bear with me!
Words: 1.6k
Tobin and I were kicking the ball around as I told her about my plans to reveal my identity. I was predominately a soccer player, but I was also a singer. No one knew who I was, no one knew I was the person behind anónima. We did songs ranging from pop to country, millions of people followed us, came to our concerts and bought our music, but no one knew who I was, who my band was. It had started as a way to put my music out there without drawing attention because I had massive stage fright. However, I was starting to entertain the idea of revealing who I was. 
"Are you sure about this baby? It's going to bring a lot of attention."
"I think so, I mean I already get attention and I'll get even more once I start with the team and when we go public. It feels like it's time, but I'll decide for sure tomorrow."
"Whatever you decide, I'll support you 100%. Can I bring the team? I know you're starting with us next week, but I would love for them to finally meet you as my girlfriend. If you decided to reveal yourself that it. Also they love you."
"Of course you can Toby. I would love to finally meet the team properly." Due to mostly playing internationally and only recently deciding to return to the US, I hadn't been called up until now. Not that I really minded too much, I was only 26, there would be the opportunity for plenty more camps in my career. It did mean I hadn't really met any of the national team. I guess it would be good to meet them before camp. 
My concerts had always worked on a trust sort of system. I didn't wear a mask or anything. The stage was dark, only just light enough that my band could see, but no one could see them. I stood at the back, away from the light. All it would take was a torch or light source to reveal our identities. Over the years I had gotten more comfortable on a stage and with my fans. Moving around and interacting with them more. I still hadn't decided if I was going to reveal myself, but the stage crew knew that if I moved to a certain point on the stage then they would turn the lights on. Of course I had also discussed it with my band since they weren't known either. They had left it up to me to decide which made it even harder. 
As I sung the first couple of songs, I watched the crowd dance and sing along. Seeing the happiness on peoples faces and knowing it was because of us was my favourite part of concerts. I found myself wishing I could join in dancing around and interacting with them more, instead of trying to stay in an area they wouldn't see me. 
Once the song ended, I spoke up, "Let's talk for a minute. I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for coming out and supporting us even though you have no idea who we are. None of this would have happened without you guys. So, as a way of thanking you, here's a new song I've been working on."
I always thought I'd be a rambling girl Living in the moment, never making plans Finding love was just a dream I was having Written in the movies, never thought it would happen
I try to fill my loneliness with whiskey And empty nights with different girls that never missed me Funny how when you least expect it Everything can change
Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for
During the brief instrumental, I took a deep breath, moving forward on the stage. As I started singing the next line the stage lit up, cheers and screams louder than I had ever heard filled the stadium. 
You know I love it when your hair's a mess The way you shine when you wear that dress Girl, I don't think that you understand You make me a better person
Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for
Just like blue on the sea Our love won't fade, it's evergreen Girl, the best part of me Is you
My attention was solely on Tobin as I sung the last verse. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for her. My first concert would never have happened without her encouragement and support. The many nights spent with her sitting quietly beside me as I wrote new songs because she knew it helped calm my mind enough to let my ideas flow. She had been by my side through it all, without hesitation or judgement. 
Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for I sat down on the edge of the stage, taking a moment to compose myself as the cheering started to die down. "Surprise! That happened. Honestly, I was kind of torn about doing this. The secrecy behind it makes it fun, it keeps things interesting, but I also wanted to do something to thank you for the unwavering support I receive. Enough of my droning on though, I think it's time to introduce myself. I'm Y/n, behind me I have my amazing band. Guys, give a wave with your name so they know who you are. We've got Jason, Mason, yes they're twins, last but not least we have Abby. Thank you for coming to our show. Stick around because we're just getting started."
---
The show had ended a little while ago. The band and I had finished our post show debrief and showers. They had gone to pack up their gear while I waited for Tobin. She was going to wait for the crowd to calm down before making her way out the back with the team. I had played with or met a few of them through club matches in the limited time I played in the states, but a lot of my professional career was international. 
Before my nerves could grow any further, voices from down the hall caught my attention, "Tobin what's going on? I don't think we're allowed back here."
"Just wait and see."
I laughed to myself at the irritation lacing Tobin's voice before the nerves started rising again. I could sing in front of thousands of people without worrying, but I was terrified to meet them. They were important to her, they were going to be my team soon and I wanted to make a good impression. I took a deep breath, before putting on a smile as the numerous girls walked through the door, most of them freezing when they saw me. 
Tobin wrapped her arms around me, placing a kiss on my lower neck, "You did amazing, I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you my love."
"Wha-" One of the girls started but cut herself off. I chuckled quietly, pulling away from Tobin. 
Christen hugged me quickly. With her being Tobin's bestfriend, I had met her pretty early on in our relationship. We got along great, but she also didn't know about my singing career, "Well this is a surprise."
"Yeeah, sorry I didn't tell you soon-"
"You don't need to apologise Y/n. I get it."
I was reminded of the people behind me when the sound of slapping started. Many of the girls still looked stunned, while a few of them were hitting each other and pointing at me. It was actually quite entertaining, but I decided to speak up and put them out of their misery, "Hey, I'm Y/n."
"Don't just stand there, introduce yourselves." Tobin spoke up making some of the girls snap out of it and introduce themselves one at a time. Then they launched into multiple different questions, "Slow down, you'll be seeing Y/n often. You don't have to ask a million questions right now."
"Wait what? How? Why?'
"Y/n is my girlfriend and she's the newest addition to the team as of next week."
"She is?" Emily asked still looking like a deer in headlights, "You're a soccer player?"
"Yes."
"You've known who she is and you didn't tell us? We talk about her all the time."
Tobin shrugged, arm wrapping around my waist, "It wasn't my place to tell you who she was. I know you love her music, but just remember Y/n will be your teammate and friend, don't just treat her like the singer you love."
"We will, it's great to meet you Y/n. Although I think we've played against each other a couple of times."
"You too Ali. I'm pretty sure we have, quite a few years ago now."
We talked for a while. The girls getting all the questions they had about me as a singer before moving on to questions about Tobin and I, my soccer career and anything else they could think of. I was a bit surprised how fast they went from being amazed at meeting me to just treating me like someone on the team. Honestly, it was a relief. I had been worried about how they would react and treat me if they knew who I was. I guess that was another thing I should be thanking Tobin for. The band had come and talked with us for a while before we all parted ways. There was only so much social interaction I could handle. With the show and meeting the team, I was exhausted. 
I crawled into bed as soon as we got back to our apartment while Tobin went to shower. Arms wrapped around me from behind as I was on the verge of sleep. "I'd say that went pretty well."
All I could do was mumble out a 'it did' before pulling Tobin closer. I could feel Tobin laughing as she placed a kiss on my cheek, "I love you baby."
221 notes · View notes
rottenmemes · 21 days
Text
the front bottoms—various lyrics sentence starters.
some lines adjusted to fit; feel free to change pronouns, proper nouns, etc. as needed
am i getting into heaven? there’s no fucking way.
i would sleep better on your floor than i ever would in my bed.
learn to accept that the things we have now are the best we've had yet.
your friends are here and they miss you, but they’ll eventually move on.
i will always think about you, ‘cause you remind me of who i am.
i’ve tried and i gave everything i had, but i just gave up.
what we have is nowhere near as good as what we should have by now.
it's okay to give up, 'cause nobody here could care less.
time is running out and i need to choose, the clock is moving faster than it used to.
they say face your fears, but i can't stop running.
i'm scared i'm gonna die as lonely as i feel.
it's okay if you're unhappy—just take a look around. there's no one here that's happy either.
the only thing that'd shut me up now is your hands around my throat.
if i tell you all my secrets, would you tell me all your lies?
i have stitched a mask of confidence and i wear it like a glove.
no one's going to listen ‘til you mean every word you say, so if you can't find the feeling, you better learn to lie—and if you know we're gonna fail, then there's little point to try.
i can't get what i need, and you're all i need.
there are certain things you ask of me, but there are certain things i lack.
you say i'm changing—sorry, i didn't know i had to stay the same.
i think you're changing, but don't worry—you don't have to stay the same.
i shouldn't feel like i have to protect you.
at my funeral, don't lie. tell them i didn’t want to die.
i understand that everybody's got their problems, but you seem to have a little more than anybody.
there are things i think we'll come to regret, and the majority of them are dealing with me.
i used to love the taste, i'd do anything for it—now i'd do anything to get the taste out of my mouth.
what about your friends? don't you love them enough to stay?
it probably won't get easier, just easier to hide—prepare for an aching the rest of your life.
i have this dream that i am hitting my dad with a baseball bat, and he is screaming and crying for help—and maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself.
i believe that, yeah, maybe no one's perfect—but i believe that you're pushing your luck.
there's no doubt in my mind that if you could, then you would try to crack my ribcage open and pull my heart right through.
i've been around long enough now to know that the good things never last.
how low is your self esteem? how low could it possibly be?
i know you're in love with me, and i've been ignoring you.
i’m alone only half of the time, and the other half, i’m only hiding.
i got miles to go 'til i ever get home, but the sound of your laugh and your voice on the phone makes me feel like i’m already there.
hey man, i love you, but no fucking way.
make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face.
the good thing about this cast is i can still hold a knife, so if you ever twist my arm again, i'll be sure to put up a fight.
the past few months were pretty rough; a couple times i wished we both were dead.
just try to appreciate what you got while you got it, so if it ever goes away, you can say you enjoyed it while it lasted.
i don't regret it—how could i? you were the best i ever had.
i wish i could pretend to be all of the things you think you see in me.
i don’t care if you’re not sorry; i forgive you.
the farther you go from where you start, the harder it is to get back.
just because something burns bright doesn't mean it's gonna burn forever.
don't feel bad for me, because i won't feel bad for you.
when i wake up, i think of you.
it doesn't get worse, and it doesn't get better; you just get old—it lasts forever.
no one saw me the way you did, and no one's seen me that way since.
i know that no news is good news, but that’s always felt backwards.
i’m bound by love, born to obey.
you are the truth i choose to bend myself around.
a long time ago i promised that if you were happy, then i was happy.
don't take it easy on the animal—i am the animal.
sometimes things work out perfectly when there's nothing to lose.
i don't know where i am, but i've been here before.
i'm sorry for your loss, there's not much i can do.
i could see myself dying for you.
we're both trying, you gotta give us that.
why don't you put your boxing gloves on and punch your punching bag, get some of this rage out you have deep inside of you—you’ll feel better, that's the point.
there was resentment built up that was never expressed properly.
you seem to see through whatever it is about me that's trying to be tough.
this is the fear i was born into, it somehow still affects me today.
it may or may not seem like you're leaving me behind, and it may or may not be always on my mind.
i don’t wanna put a curse on myself—i don’t wanna put a curse on you either.
you don't have to try so hard to not see me around.
the more you give, the worse it gets.
i wanna be good to the people that i love—i want them to think of me as someone that they can trust.
i wanna settle down—i want you to settle down with me.
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DREAM MEISTER & THE RECOLLECTED BLACK FAIRY
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ALEX (Make a Wish on This Holy Night) CHARACTER CARD #1
The majestic city in which the angels reside is draped in a thick layer of pure white snow. It's a beautiful sight. 
ALEX : We'll meet back up at the Inn when the sun sets. 
EMMA : Understood! 
HARRIET : In that case, I'll be taking my leave now. Keep in mind that there is a candle-floating ceremony tonight, so make sure you think of a wish before it begins. Make the wish something that spreads love and positivity! Oh, I'll make sure to tell my family you say hi! 
EMILIO : I'll be off too. See you later, Emma.
EMMA : Yes, enjoy your day, Emilio. 
With that, Harriet headed off to visit with his family and Emilio went out to explore the city by himself. Leaving me alone with Alex. 
ALEX : Hmm...A wish...I can't think of anything to wish for...
EMMA : Neither can I. But, we'll have to think of something before the ceremony.
Alex, Emilio, and I were visiting Harriet's hometown, Arbitro. The city was bustling with angels and tourists alike, all excited for tonight's ceremony. 
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Our reason for visiting was due to Chevalier Church being renovated. Due to the construction work, the Chevalier Knights who could afford it were taking a week-long vacation. 
As we gazed at the snow-covered city of Arbitro, Alex narrowed his eyes in deep contemplation.
EMMA : (It's so nice to see Alex in casual wear for a change.)
ALEX : Is something the matter?
EMMA : Oh, it's nothing important. It's just...Being in another country with everyone, especially with you, feels like a very special experience. 
ALEX : Haha. Now that you mention it, it does feel special. I suppose I should thank Harriet. Without his invitation, I would have never witnessed this beautiful snowscape or that lovely outfit you are wearing.
EMMA : !!
ALEX : Also, without your suggestion to take a break, I'd likely still be working on paperwork right now. So, thank you.
EMMA : You don't have to thank me, Alex. I'm just happy to spend time with you.
ALEX : Now then, Emma, what would you like to do until the ceremony? 
EMMA : Hmm...I haven't decided yet. For now, I think I'd like to explore the city.
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ALEX : I see.
EMMA : Is something wrong?
ALEX : It's just been a while since I've had a break from my duties. So I was pondering how I'd like to spend it. I have no clue where to begin.
EMMA : So that's why you have that look on your face.
ALEX : Oh my, you noticed?
EMMA : It's really easy to read your expression when you aren't wearing your mask, Alex. 
ALEX : Haha. You have quite the observational skills. I wonder if you'd have been able to see through me if I were wearing my mask.
EMMA : (Perhaps I should suggest he come with me to explore the city? But, if he never gets a vacation away from Chevalier Church he might want to spend it alone...)
Just as I was debating asking him to come along, he spoke up,
ALEX : If you're willing, I would love to explore the city with you until we meet up with Harriet and the others for the ceremony. 
EMMA : I'd love that!
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imreadydollparts · 4 months
Text
A little salon talk
I'm working on some very special, very dirty ponies at the moment, and some things certainly haven't gone as planned.
I wanted to talk a little bit about how I have addressed those things and what I have used in the process.
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One of the most stressful issues has been paint sliding off of these ponies. Some of them had mysterious yellow stuff on their bodies and where that yellow stuff was, the paint isn't sticking anymore.
For Rapunzel, I dabbed on Vallejo Premium Airbrush Color Matt Varnish with a cosmetic sponge and that stopped the paint rubbing off. It is a matte varnish so if you put enough layers the gloss of the paint will be hidden. Overall, Rapunzel got 3 layers: Two base layers to stop the paint coming off further and protect the vinyl from the paint I was going to add on top (red pigmented paints do tend to bleed into vinyl), and a third layer over top of the repair paint.
I'll talk more about Rapunzel when her individual post comes through the queue later. She's given me some trouble, that's for sure.
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Another big problem was that they all reeked of mold as they were covered inside and out. Dance n Prance DJ was so sporey....
Normal washing and disinfecting did get rid of all of the living mold, but the smell persisted because vinyl does that with smells.
Regular smell reduction products and methods for fabric do not work on dolls and ponies because they're not fabric, they're a thick layer of bubbly, spongey plastic that loves smells and stains.
The only thing I found that helped mask the smell of the now-dead mold is L.A.'s Totally Awesome Cherry Blossom All Purpose pre-diluted spray.
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A few times I've thought "L.A.'s should sponsor me because I use their products a lot in the salon..." but I don't think I'd actually want to be sponsored by any corporation because you're basically a paid actor at that point and have to say what they tell you to about the products. I don't want to do that. I prefer to say what I mean.
Anyway.
I already knew T.A. was ok for ponies (at least, ponies who's paint isn't falling off) from having used it quite a lot on my own ponies before putting it anywhere near someone else's.
This one has a light scent to it that isn't overwhelming and being a cleanser, I know that it's not just applying some scent to the vinyl but also working against any remaining mold which also helps reduce it's smell.
How I used this was to liberally spray the insides of the ponies' bodies and let it sit a few hours, then dump out the cleanser and rinse them well.
I WOULD have treated these ponies as though I were deflocking them and used a hot T.A. bath to really get into all of those little plastic pores, but with the paint sliding off of multiple ponies that wasn't an option.
It's not a 100% solution, and they do still have a bit of moldy smell to them which may become more prominent again as the cleanser's perfume wears off, but with a proper cleaning and T.A. Cherry Blossom treatments, they smell a hell of a lot better.
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A couple of the ponies in this lot have some of the worst hair I have ever seen, not only in texture but in condition.
So dry.
Now, I am good at what I do, especially when it comes to smoothing out pony hair, but I'm having to wave the white flag on some of this hair.
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This is the same pony's hair before and after (her tail is in another pony right now so I could work on it while the rest of Swirly Whirly is taking a long sun bath), and that's as good as I could get it.
It's so. dry.
Normally, Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine conditioner does just fine on nylon hair but it couldn't reduce the dryness on this hair enough.
That hair above was conditioned and flat ironed five times. The only thing I will not do is flat iron dripping wet hair on super high heat because I don't want to short out my flat iron. The only thing I can't do is attempt steaming it. Steaming is an excellent way to smooth out synthetic hair, but I do not have a stand to hold dolls or ponies so that I could safely steam them without scalding myself.
I had to get out the Big Conditioner, which is kind of funny to say because it's actually very tiny and I only use it on dire doll hair for fear of running out.
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This little bottle of After Color Mask came with a bleaching kit that I got on deep clearance just to get to try out some 40Vol cream before committing to buying a big bottle.
Swirly Whirly's tail is still visibly a mess, but it finally feels nice and soft.
If you dye or bleach your hair and get these little bottles of hair mask, hold on to them. They'll do amazing things when you get a doll or pony with unusually or stubbornly dry hair.
Now if only Garnier sold this in big tubs.
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miss-ari · 1 year
Text
evelyn's curse & philip's self-inflicted glyphs
it's probably a little silly to speculate now, when the finale is just around the corner and i could so easily be proved wrong. but if i'm proved wrong, it means we got more backstory- i love backstory! if i'm right, i get to be smug- and i also love being smug! >:)
after the events of thanks to them, it is all but confirmed that belos/philip's unnaturally long lifespan is at least in part due to his regular consumption of palisman essence
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but a neat theory i've seen is that philip first began consuming palismen in this way to mitigate the effects of the final spell/curse that evelyn cast on him
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(let's just ignore that the high-res version of this painting seems to give philip the same profile/silhouette as caleb. pretty sure that's just an artistic goof.)
however, i have always been firmly of the opinion that philip was killing witches and stealing their palismen even before his showdown with caleb and evelyn.
now it is probably always going to be up for debate what the chronological order of the hollow mind paintings is. for example, the memory painting here, of philip seeming to lure two witches (with their staves in hand!) into a corner/alley/side street could very easily take place before philip finds his brother in the demon realm, or after
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and judging by the length of his beard and ponytail alone, i would normally assume that the painting that features philip consuming a palisman takes place after caleb's murder
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however, there a couple details to keep in mind here. for starters, he is still wearing his original mask. and secondly, the memories featured in a person's mindscape are significant. my best guess would be that this was the first time philip destroyed a palisman and discovered the power one can harness by doing so.
at the very least, belos has been consuming their essence since well before lilith and luz encountered him as philip in elsewhere and elsewhen
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more than anything though, the giveaway to me is in the memories of philip's first meeting with caleb and evelyn in the demon realm- note his glowing blue eyes
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now by the time philip ascends to the throne as emperor belos, we know he has three forms of magic at his disposal:
glyphs
the lifeforce/soul/energy/essence of palismen
the power taught/bestowed by the collector
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but this is early days yet! that magical blue glow had to come from somewhere. and well...
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hmm.
i've spent a lot of time discussing caleb, evelyn, and philip with @ashanimus and so allow me to piggyback off of her original theory here: that evelyn's curse was to externalize philip's monstrous actions- past, and future.
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and even though we see that philip/belos largely maintains his humanoid form from day to day, and has much finer control over this goop than one might expect
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it is not a perfect control.
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but then we have to wonder, how is he able to control it at all?
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philip wittebane is uniquely adept at combining glyphs in extremely complex ways to get his desired results
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we know the glyphs on his arm must have some purpose- he would never have cut into himself in this permanent way unless he was sure of the effects. and when he does carve the glyphs directly into his own flesh
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he bleeds green.
that isn't human blood, not anymore. that is magical rot and decay, his evil made physically manifest, a warning to anyone who crosses his path.
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another layer to my theory lies in the ending scene of philip elsewhere and elsewhen; philip is highly agitated, the glyphs are glowing, and he scrambles on hands and knees to find an intact palisman to crack apart. and then, he very noticeably calms down. and even in present day with the collector's magic to call his own, belos is still consuming palismen on the regular.
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rather than consuming palismen as a direct means of keep evelyn's curse at bay, as some have speculated, i'd like to believe that palisman essence gives his magic- his glyphs- a noticeable power boost.
and he would then create yet another vicious cycle for himself.
philip would need to keep destroying palismen without end- not only to keep himself preserved well past his expiration date, but in order to maintain the strength of these containment glyphs. and in doing so, he would increase the effects of this curse in turn.
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122 notes · View notes
alicewonderao3 · 4 months
Text
Mutual Pining
Title: Mutual Pining
Characters: Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, fem!original character.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!original character
Warnings: None, fluffy. Use of fem!character, mentions of violence typical for criminal minds, Aaron has a nickname for her.
Summary: She's been pining after her gorgeous boss for a while now, and is unwilling to believe the older man might possibly return her feelings. What happens when she gets injured on a case, and he proves her wrong?
Authors note: So this is something I've had in my drafts for a long time now. I started writing it and just never had the motivation to finish it until today. I didn't realize I used one of the prompts for @the-slumberparty's naughty or nice challenge until after I'd edited the piece, so I'm submitting it at as well. I'm rewatching Criminal minds and working on a piece out of my wheelhouse, a soft!dark Aaron Hotchner. It's gonna be good. As always, I have no beta, and if I missed any warnings or tags, let me know, and all spelling and grammar mistakes are mine. Enjoy!
Word Count: 2,553
Life can be cruel sometimes. It can be downright nasty, but right now, I can't help but curse life with all my being. I'm working at my desk, and I'm supposed to be studying crime scene photos and helping form the profile so we can catch this latest in a long line of bad, bad men, but I can't. How can I be expected to focus when Aaron's just standing over there, talking with Rossi about something, I'm not sure what, looking as gorgeous as he is? 
It's a shame. I sigh, returning to my work when I see Rossi's eyes catch mine, watching me admire Aaron, and my cheeks flush and I duck my head, my dark curls hiding my face as I examine the crime scene photos with a sudden interest. The two walk by my desk, but say nothing. Rossi is the only one in the office who knows of my crush on Aaron, revealed one night when I arrived early at his house for a team dinner. 
He's the only one who knows how much I like him, and admire him. He's told me to make my move several times, but it's hard. I don't know if Aaron even likes me in that way, let alone if he even notices me. Sometimes he tends to look right through people, with that single-minded determination he's got. 
It's easy to like Aaron Hotchner. So easy. The man is gorgeous, and tall, with dark brown eyes and hair that is never out of place. And don't get me started on the suits he wears. They fit his muscled frame beautifully, and the man has no idea the effect he has on me by simply walking in. But it's not just looks. Aaron's funny, intelligent, and incredibly sweet. 
There is a lot hidden under that cool reserve he has, that mask he uses to keep the world out. He keeps people at arm's length and has ever since Haley died. He keeps Jack close to him, and I can't help but adore the little boy. After his dad, I'm his obvious favorite, and he loves hanging with me at my desk. I keep a special drawer in my desk just for Jack, full of dinosaurs and his favorite snacks, plenty of crayons and coloring sheets, and books. 
I sigh again, glancing down at the crime scene photos with a wince. I should be working, not here daydreaming about my older, but attractive boss, but he doesn't make it easy for me. Lucky for me, he's also completely oblivious to my feelings. Or how women view him in general. He hasn't dated anyone since he broke up with Beth a few months ago. 
I glance up as I feel a pair of eyes on me and see it's Aaron, standing outside his office, looking over the bullpen. I know he's making sure we're making progress, and his eyes catch mine for a moment, making my heart skip a beat and my breath catch. I look up at him, sending him a warm smile, one which he returns, to my delight. 
He wanders back into his office, and I sigh. I jump when I hear Rossi's voice. "When are you going to tell him how you feel?" I sigh, fidgeting with my fingers for a moment. "I don't know. I don't even know how he feels," Rossi sighs again, his voice frustrated. "You won't know until you talk to him, you know. Maybe he returns your feelings?" 
I sigh, but there's something about Rossi's remark that catches me off guard. "Wait, what do you know?" I asked him, and he just shook his head. "Uh-huh, flower. If you wanna know, you go ask him. Better yet, tomorrow is casual Friday. Wear that pink sundress you wore to the last team dinner." 
He walks off and I watch him, shaking my head. Flower was Aaron's nickname for me. It was only his nickname for me. He did have sort of a soft spot for me, although I insisted he didn't treat me any differently than the other agents. He was the only one who was allowed to use it in regards to me and everyone knew it. 
Morgan had nicknames for everyone but me, and when he'd innocently called me flower, hearing Aaron do it, was the last time he'd used it. Aaron had turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. He didn't speak or ask any questions. Morgan held his hands up and never called me that again, but he did tease me about being the only agent allowed to call Hotch by his first name. 
I decided to take Rossi's advice and showed up for casual Friday wearing said dress. It was a soft pink color, with tiny white flowers scattered on the fabric. It was modest enough for work while still hugging my curves, my leg poking out of the slit as I walked through the office. I couldn't wear the pink heels I'd worn at the team dinner with this outfit, but I wore pink Converse instead. My dark curls were loose, pulled back in a half-ponytail with a flowery clip. 
Aaron was standing outside his office, observing the agents as we all arrived and his eyes met mine. I could have sworn I saw something in his eyes as he saw me, but it was gone. I smiled warmly up at him, and I wasn't surprised when Rossi handed me some files to go drop off to him. 
I knocked softly and walked in, meeting his eyes. "Good morning, Aaron," I said softly, my voice warm and gentle. His eyes met mine and I saw his face relax. "Good morning, Flower." My smile got wider as I walked in, setting the files on his desk. "Rossi asked me to give these to you." 
He nodded at me, and said, "Thank you, flower." He picked one up and it was a clear dismissal. I nodded and left his office. Rossi met my eyes and said, "Well?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I gave him the files," I said softly.
I walked away as Rossi shook his head. Then he caught my attention. "Hey, Alice?" I turned to face him. "Spencer needs help with that profile, help him will you?" I nodded. 
I spent the morning in one of the conference rooms with Spencer helping him. My soft laughter and giggles filtered out into the hallway and bullpen as we worked. I enjoyed working with Spencer. We liked a lot of the same things and had the same sense of humor. He always made me laugh. I may have missed the way Aaron would stare extra hard when Spencer made me laugh, but Rossi hadn't although I didn't realize this at the time. 
Spencer was in the middle of telling me a joke when we heard a throat being cleared. I was facing him, and my eyes were fixed on Spencer's as I looked up at him, my small hand on his arm as he made me giggle, and we both turned to see Aaron standing in the doorway. He had his arms crossed. "Sounds like more giggling in here than actual work." His voice was tight, almost as if he was restraining himself. 
"Sorry, Hotch." Spencer said, "We're working." He said, gesturing to the whiteboard. I nodded, my dark curls bouncing. "Yeah. He was just telling me a funny joke." I said, "We are working, Aaron, I promise." I missed the way Aaron relaxed at my words, missed the way his eyes softened as he looked at me, but Spencer didn't. 
The team loved to tease me about Aaron's supposed soft spot for me. I said they were crazy. They begged to differ. Spencer's grin got wider a moment and then he casually draped his arms over my shoulders, his hands brushing my sides, making me giggle again. "Spencer!" I said, slipping from him. 
I missed the way Aaron's eyes darkened as Spencer's arms slipped over my shoulders, and even more so when I'd darted away and giggled. All I heard was Aaron's voice sharp, as he raised it in my direction for the first time. "Alice, there is a time for laughing and now is not it." He said, and his tone took me by surprise. My whole face fell, but I schooled it. 
My voice was softer, subdued. "I'm sorry Aaron," I said, and he just turned on his heel and left, leaving me alone with Spencer, wondering what I did wrong. I helped Spencer with the profile and took it to Aaron later, my voice hesitant, as I set it on his desk. "I have that profile for you," I said, meeting his eyes. 
He didn't even look up at me at first, and when he did, his voice was tight, as if he was restraining himself. "Thank you." It was only two words, but the way he said them made my heart sink and my stomach twist. Was he mad at me? I had to know, so I asked. "Aaron?" I asked, my voice soft. 
He looked up at me, where I stood in front of his desk, my small hands twisting together, shifting my weight from foot to foot in my soft pink dress and I asked, "Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?" My warm honey-brown eyes were locked onto his and I saw him set the profile down, his whole expression softening at the panicked look I'm sure I was wearing. 
"No, Flower. I'm not mad at you." He said, his voice gentle, as he stood up, taking one of my hands in his. "I was just disappointed to hear you and Spencer fooling around." He said, and his choice of words made me pause. "We weren't fooling around," I said, confused as I met his eyes. "Spencer was just telling me jokes and picking on me," I said, my head tilting as I looked up at him. 
"Well," He said, as he stared down at me. "Didn't seem that way," He said, as he patted my small hand softly. "Now that you've helped Spencer, why don't you-" but he was cut off when Rossi came back in, saying we had a lead on the suspect. Garcia figured out which bar he was getting his girls from and Morgan made the suggestion someone go in as bait. 
Everyone's eyes turned to me at once. "What?" I said, meeting their gazes, before realizing what they meant. Aaron was the only one who was against it until Rossi pointed out that it was our only means of catching him. And that's how I found myself at the bar, wearing my communication device and fielding the advances of several men. 
The whole time I could hear Aaron's almost tight tone in my ear, "Move away from those men, you need to seem available to the unsub." He says, and I hear the controlled giggles of a few team members at his tone. I slip down the bar and this time when I'm approached, I know it's our unsub. He's charming as he flirts with me, his eyes focused on mine, as he carefully reaches out to tuck my curls behind my ear. 
We know his MO is to drug his victims, to get them out of the bar, and so when I set my drink down and turn for the briefest second, I know he's drugged it when I hear that frustrated sound leave Aaron's throat, followed by, "Do not drink that, flower. Get him to take you out near the alley, we're waiting." 
I do a good job of pretending I'm drugged, but instead of taking me to the alley behind the bar, he steers me out front, toward the white van waiting across the street. I can hear the team as they scramble to make their way around, and all pretenses dropped, I struggle in his hold, as tight as it is. 
He shoves me into a wall, my cheek scraping against the hard brick as he kicks my feet apart, and when his hand covers my mouth to attempt to silence my screams, I bite him, prompting him to shove me harder into the wall, turning me around to slap me just as the team rounds the corner and finds us. 
He's taken with brutal force after he's shoved me forward and into Aaron's waiting arms. My cheek is bleeding as Aaron's large hands cup my face, his concerned brown eyes meeting mine ."Are you okay, flower?" He asks, his thumbs gentle as he turns my face this way and that, examining it. 
I nod, "Just my cheek," I murmur, and I see his expression grow concerned as he pulls me to the side, bandaging me himself. "How did that happen?" He asked gently, and I saw him tense as I told him how he shoved me into the brick wall. His hands are gentle as he patches me up, and I can't help but say, "Have a lot of practice patching up Jack huh?" 
He laughs, the sound soft and gentle. "Yeah, he's always scraping his knee." He says, as he gently cleans my scrape and places a bandage over the scrape. His eyes focus on mine as he sighs. "There, all better." He says, his finger lingering on my cheek. 
I don't know what prompts me, but the words leave me before I think them over, my cheeks flushing, "Kiss it better?" I see him tense, his eyes searching mine for something before he nods, leaning in close to me as my heart races in my chest, his lips gently brushing over the bandage. I'm breathing a bit heavily as he pulls back a little. 
His voice is husky, "Better?" I shake my head, my curls fluttering along my cheeks with my movements. "Again?" I ask, my eyes soft and voice pleading, as his hand gently cups my face. "One more time," He says, and this time he leans in, his lips brushing across mine with a tenderness I'd never seen from him before. His kiss is soft and gentle, my heart racing in my chest as he kisses me like I'm the most important person in the world to him, our surroundings melting away as he kisses me. 
We're interrupted mid-kiss by the catcalls of the team as they catch us, and my cheeks flush as we both pull away from each other. I can see the faint blush on Aaron's cheeks as we hear the team teasing us. Rossi walks up and claps a hand on his shoulder. "I knew you'd do it sooner or later, Aaron." He winks at me as he walks away, and I realize that the team was indeed right. He did have a soft spot for me. 
Aaron's fingers are gentle on my face as he promises, "We'll do that again later, without witnesses, flower." And it's the husky quality of his voice, the gentleness of his touch, that makes my heart skip a beat as I can't wait for later. Later, which comes in his office when we make it back to the mission, as his lips find mine again, and the door closing so we have no witnesses this time. 
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anakinskywalkerog · 2 years
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My Very Soul (Chapter 18)
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Anakin Skywalker x Jedi!Reader
Link to Chapter 17
Warnings: teeny bit o angst, lot of lover's nerves honestly
Summary: You and Anakin depart for Levangé
Word Count: 2.8k (a bit shorter than usual bc I have been very busy but I love you so here's a bridge chapter that will get us where we need to go)
"This is insane," you said, holding up a dress with only the tips of your fingers, like it might be poisonous. You looked around at the outfits strewn about the briefing room.
       "Part of the job," Master Yuma said bracingly, looking around the room as if she too were overwhelmed by the colors. Senator Voure had sent what she had called "a few things" for you to wear while you impersonated her on Levangé. The outfits you saw around you were more intense, in number and in quality, than you could have imagined of clothes. You looked down at your own beige tunic, touching it helplessly. You'd never worn anything different than Jedi attire, ever. You supposed you must have worn something else as a child, on Batuu, but you couldn't remember that.
       You walked across the room, trying to think clearly in spite of the dissonance of pattern and texture around you. Your ribs twinged in pain, and you grimaced—you'd just been let out of the medical bay this morning, and already, you were set to leave for your mission. Usually, you wouldn't have batted an eye at this pace—Jedi were often called into duty at inopportune times, at the last minute, or while recovering from injuries. Today, though, you felt differently. Maybe it was because this would be your first real mission without Master Yuma. Or, maybe it was the thought of the person who would be accompanying you in her stead that made you nervous.
       "Don't senators ever dress practically?" you asked desperately, pulling some of the garments back into their suitcases.
       "There are pants in here," Master Yuma said, a smile in her voice. She was teasing, you knew, in part to mask her worry and frustration at having to send you on a mission without her—your first mission without her.
       "I don't know if I'd call these pants," you uttered to Yuma in an exasperated tone, holding up a clothing item with room for two legs, but that had colorful strands of fabric hanging off the sides. You assumed anyone wearing these might look a bit like a rathtar.
       "You know, you might actually enjoy wearing something new for a change," Master Yuma said, taking the pants from your hands and folding them into the last of the suitcases. "You probably won't be away that long, anyway." You felt her Force presence pang with sadness, and saw her turn her face away from you.
       "I'm going to be just fine," you reassured her, leaning your head against her upper arm.
       "I know you are," Master Yuma said, turning to pull you into a tight hug. "You'll be back here before you know it." You let yourself melt into the hug, closing your eyes and breathing deeply.
       "I sure hope so," you said quietly, dwelling on the mission at hand, and the Padawan who would be joining you. Master Yuma sighed.
       "You know," Master Yuma said, pulling away from you, keeping her hands around the sides of your shoulders, "I've been pretending for some time now that you still need me...that you aren't ready for the trials. I'm sorry if I've been holding you back. If anything, it's been my own inability to let you go." Master Yuma's eyes filled with tears.
       "Master," you said, shaking your head, "I will always need you. Now, and after the trials, and forever." You had rarely seen your Master cry, but today, of all days, it was too much for you. You threw yourself back into the hug, hiding your face in your Master's arms.
       "It's time to go," Master Yuma said gently, dragging both of your minds back to your sense of duty. "This looks suitable," Master Yuma said, pulling a sheer gray flowing garment out of the last suitcase. You couldn't help your displeased expression. Master Yuma laughed, handing you the flowy dress and helping you to button it after you'd thrust it over your head. It was extravagant, and pointless, that much was certain. However, it only showed part of your neck and shoulders, and the material was actually quite soft. You couldn't help but blush in embarrassment, wearing this.
       "One last thing," Master Yuma said, sighing and reaching for your Padawan braid. You knew that Master Yuma would re-braid it when you returned, knew that you were simply committing to the mission, but still—leaving the Temple in someone else's clothes, without your braid, felt like a bad omen.
Master Yuma piled the suitcases onto the hovercart and pressed the button to make it follow you—out of the briefing room, through the halls of the Temple, to the hangar on the northeastern side. You walked slowly beside your Master, reflecting on the fact that she wouldn't be coming with you. It didn't feel right, somehow, but you knew by now that this was the way of the world—change came swiftly, and was almost always too quick.
       "I see our friends are waiting for us," Master Yuma said quietly as you stepped out onto the hangar, squinting in the Coruscanti sunlight and putting a hand up to cover your eyes. Anakin's pout was visible even from this great distance. He stood, his hands clasped together in front of him, next to Master Obi-Wan, who immediately walked forward to greet you both.
       "Everything is set with the coordinates," Master Obi-Wan said as he reached you. You felt his nervous energy, his unhappiness at not being assigned to accompany you. "The ship will take you directly to the safehouse, which is situated at the edge of a very remote village in Levangé's southern hemisphere.
       "Right," you said flatly, watching Anakin's unmoving stare as he stood next to...hold on—
       "You are to imitate the senator's behavior as best you can, as if it were she who were vacationing in the south," Obi-Wan continued, "and keep both us and the council abreast of any disturbances that you notice in the village. The quicker we can take someone into custody, the quicker we can bring you both home." You were listening to him, you were—but you were more distracted by the ship behind Anakin. It was a BTL series Y-Wing Starfighter. You gawked at it.
       "We're going all the way to Levangé...," you pointed, your face feeling hot, "in that?" The Y-Wing was a small, two-seater ship with no hull, and Levangé was many parsecs away, positioned as it was in the Outer Rim. All of this meant that you and Anakin would be sitting, back to back, in a confined cockpit, for a long, long time.
       "We don't want another attack while in-transit," Obi-Wan explained, giving Yuma a knowing look. "Our enemies will expect Senator Voure to be traveling in style. Thus, to get you there safely, a smaller ship is our best bet."
       You nodded, resigned to your fate. Obi-Wan pushed the hover cart in the direction of the ship, loading Senator Voure's suitcases—or, your suitcases, you supposed—into the small cargo hold. Master Yuma stepped in front of you, gripping your arm.
       "You look miserable," Master Yuma whispered to you, stroking your hair. You said nothing, making sure your Force presence was pulled fully into yourself. This was a habit you'd been unable to shake, lately. Master Yuma sighed. "The Jedi Order, the Republic, the ideals on which you stake your life," Master Yuma said quietly, "mean nothing if you don't first embrace your own place within the galaxy." You gave Master Yuma an inquisitive look.
       "How can you say that?" you whispered, glancing over her shoulder to make sure neither Obi-Wan nor Anakin would overhear.
       "It's the truth," Master Yuma said simply. "Sacrificing your life for a cause means nothing if you do so only because of the influence of others."
       "I'm not sacrificing anything," you told Master Yuma, looking her in the eye. "I'm going to be fine."
       "I know you're going to be fine," Master Yuma said impatiently, letting go of your arm. "What I mean to say is this: you have only one life. Make sure you live it for yourself." She took a step back from you as Obi-Wan returned to escort you to the ship. You looked around and saw Anakin climbing into the pilot's seat. Whirling back to face Master Yuma, you gave her a confused stare, which she returned with a small smile. What did she mean, and why was she telling you this now? You allowed yourself to be led toward the ship.
       And so it begins, you thought, climbing into the gunner's seat without so much of a glance at the back of Anakin's head.
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The silence felt heavier than space itself. Anakin was surprised the ship didn't descend into the ether, or whatever lay beyond the flashing blue of hyperspace that illuminated his view out of the tiny cockpit. There he had sat, with you sitting behind him, facing the opposite direction, for almost four hours now—and nothing. No conversation, no sound at all. You could be asleep, for all he knew. It felt as if he were alone in this ship—you had pulled your own Force presence back so thoroughly that he couldn’t sense you at all, even though his mind knew that you were sitting behind him.
       While Jedi often took ships of varying sizes out on missions, Anakin had been assigned with you and Master Yuma, as well as his own Master, so often that with you he'd always taken a ship of moderate size, with at least a cockpit and a main hull. If the two of you had been in one of those ships, you could have at least closed a door between you. Anakin would rather be truly alone than be sitting here, in your presence, feeling more alone than he had ever felt in his life.
       Anakin's anger toward you had slowly evaporated over these past few weeks into a confused sadness. He regretted the way he had handled the situation with you, your last true conversation having gone so badly. If only he'd been able to stay calm; if only he'd been able to ask you, gently, why you didn't want to talk about your relationship, why you felt as if everything needed to remain unsaid. He had roved his own mind for weeks now, weeks of silence between the two of you, and he still couldn't puzzle out your feelings, still couldn't find any clues as to why you'd reacted the way you did. But instead of asking you to clarify your meaning, he'd flown off the handle, as always, and then iced you out. He'd wanted, in those days you'd been in the medical bay, to apologize for his behavior, to take your hand and sit by your bedside day and night. But he'd held himself back, primarily out of fear for how you'd react. You'd been as cold to him as he'd been to you, at least since he had refused to train with you after you'd both returned from Serenno. And now here you were, sitting so close together, but remaining emotionally so far apart. This wasn't what Anakin wanted. He had to fix this, but he didn't know how.
       The silence was absolutely deafening. Anakin didn’t know what to say, after four long hours of travel, four long hours of sitting at your side but not being able to look at you. Getting his own lips to move took an enormous act of internal momentum.
       "Y/N?" Anakin asked. He knew you were sitting there, even though he couldn't feel you or see you. He knew you were likely deep in thought yourself, possibly even taking in his own emotional landscape as you regarded your own. It wasn't fair. Why did you get to know everything he was feeling, and he couldn't even get two honest words out of you?
       "What?" you asked, your voice sounding flat and unemotional. Anakin took a deep breath.
       "Are you nervous?" he asked, his own nerves spilling out into his voice.
       "About what?" you asked, your flat tone giving way to something else, an urgency you hadn't meant to convey. Anakin couldn't help a small smile. Here you were, impersonating the target of an assassination attempt, wanted for murder, and yet you still didn't understand what you had to be nervous about.
       "About...our first mission, on our own," Anakin responded mildly.
       "No," you said, the flat tone back in your speech.
       "Me neither," Anakin lied, sighing, looking out at the blue of hyperspace and wishing you couldn't read his emotional impressions just now. The truth was, Anakin wasn't nervous about any potential threat you might face—he knew he could protect you from any and all attackers. What was causing Anakin's nerves had nothing to do with the mission at hand, and everything to do with the fact that the two of you were embarking on it alone, and in such a precarious relational state.
       "Good," Anakin heard you remark bitterly, "seeing as you didn't want to be here in the first place."
       "That's not true," Anakin said quietly, crossing his arms.
       "Oh please," you said, and Anakin felt your Force presence slip a bit, a bit of yourself coming out into the atmosphere. "I was there. Obi-Wan had to all but drag you to the ship."
       "It isn't because I didn't want to come," Anakin countered, his own voice coming out sounding angry. He took a deep breath, trying to control his impulses, trying to make sure he didn't lose his cool with you yet again.
       "Then why?" Anakin paused, wondering if you wanted a real answer.
       "I'm sorry, okay?" Anakin uttered. The words hung in the quiet of the ship, the quiet of hyperspace, the two of you zooming across the universe facing in opposite directions.
       "You're sorry?" Anakin heard you ask, and he couldn't determine the tone of your voice, couldn't tell whether or not you were receptive to this turn in the conversation.
       "Yes. I'm sorry I...I'm sorry I got so angry with you. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I don't want the whole mission to be like this, I can't take it." Anakin was losing his cool again, but at least this time what poured out of him was earnest, rather than angry. You seemed to prefer it when Anakin was vulnerable and sincere. He was learning. "I want to go back to being friends."
       The following silence was excruciating. How dare you leave these words hanging in the air, without so much as an acknowledgment that you had heard them? Anakin felt himself growing frustrated again. He wanted to shake you, to tell you to spit it out already, to beg you to say something, anything. Instead, he sat quietly, forcing himself to breathe, forcing himself to wait for your response.
       "Okay," you said quietly.
       "Okay?" Anakin asked, holding his breath.
       "Okay," you responded. Anakin heard you sigh.
       "So you...accept my apology?" Anakin waited. This silence felt complicated. Anakin couldn't tell what you were thinking.
       "Yes," you breathed, and Anakin heard the bump of you leaning your head back against the seat. You were infuriating, with how little you were giving him.
       "So will you stop hiding your presence now?" Anakin asked, trying to joke with you, to get you to loosen up, to act like yourself again.
       "When I feel like it," you responded sardonically, and Anakin couldn't help but smile.
       "I wonder what Levangé will be like," Anakin continued. He wanted to keep you talking, wanted to keep the communication open, at least, for the rest of the many hours you two would be spending in this small ship, facing away from each other.
       "I wonder how long we'll be there," you said, your voice pensive.
       "I'm sure Obi-Wan and Yuma will find the source of the pursuer dart," Anakin said, reassuringly, "and then we'll be able to put a stop to these separatist attacks altogether. Everything will go back to normal."
       "Don't you feel it though?" Anakin heard you ask, and as you let out a bit more of your Force presence, Anakin felt the fear behind your words. "The change. The way things seem to be turning...cold. Falling apart."
       "Don't talk like that, flea," Anakin said quickly, wanting nothing more than to make the fear in your voice go away, wanting to replace it with other emotions. "This is just another problem, one that the Jedi will solve, in time." There was a period of silence that followed this utterance.
       "I hope so," you said, finally, and Anakin felt your uncertainty. He wished he could comfort you, wished so much that he could only turn around and look at you—but you and him were stuck, in your seats in this small ship, facing opposite directions, like two spires pointing forever away from one another. Anakin faced forward, looking ahead; you faced backward, looking at where you'd been.
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Chapter 19 is out, it's lovely, and it's long--GO READ
i've been getting a wee bit busy but don't worry, Levangé is going to be juicy as hell! love you all
here's a funny for you
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divider credit to @racingairplanes
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281 notes · View notes
stacywaters · 2 months
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Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH5 - Favorite Color
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"So, do you want to start on chapter five and I'll do chapter six?"
Me and Beomgyu sit alone in a corner of the library. It's fairly quiet where we're sitting, a snug corner filled with books.
"Yeah, then we'll start on the slideshow?"
"Sounds good!" He says.
We both open our textbooks and begin reading. It's silent, but a soft silence. The kind that's easy to fall into, forgetting how long it's been since someone spoke.
It's hard to think that someone who I'd only watched from afar is now my boyfriend. Even harder to remember it's only pretend.
However, I'm still proud of myself. All this time I've spent, closed-off, not connecting with anyone around me. Look at me now. I have a friend. And I think it might last this time. Even if I never tell him how I feel, having him here is enough.
I think back to what he said at prom: "I don't know if they'd like me if they really knew me." I wonder if no one's ever tried to get to know him. He has friends, but maybe he's never felt like those friends got to know the real him. Maybe he never let them. Maybe he's scared. Maybe I am too.
"Hey, Beomgyu," I start.
"Yeah?"
"What's your favorite color?"
He looks up from the textbook.
"Why do you ask that?" He questions.
"Just curious"
"Hmm" he pauses in thought, "pink"
I gasp, "pink? Really?"
"What's wrong with liking pink?" He grins.
"Nothing, it just surprised me. You only ever wear black"
I turn back to my book. It's true, he's always in dark colors. I figured that's what he liked, but apparently not. Such a bright color for someone so reserved. Like he's always trying to mask something.
"What's yours?"
"My favorite color?" He nods. "Yellow!"
He lights up, "wow, I figured your favorite color would be blue or something. Yellow isn't a common favorite, is it?"
"Not common, no," I reply, "but I like it. It doesn't try to make itself palatable for others. I respect that"
"I never thought of it that way," he said.
All of a sudden, Beomgyu's group of friends is walking up to us. I recognize Yeonjun, but the rest? I'm not sure.
"How's it going, you two?" Yeonjun asks.
I stay quiet. Beomgyu answers, "it's going well. What about you?"
"We haven't started yet," Soobin says.
They sit by us and we try to get back to our project. Their group is chattering on and on. Beomgyu lifts his head occasionally, but he mainly continues reading his chapter. Something Yeonjun says catches my attention:
"So she said one of her friends actually has a crush on Beomgyu"
Huening Kai jumps, "but he's dating Y/N?!"
"Well, they're not really dating, right?" Yeonjun turns to me.
My thoughts are racing, I guess there's nothing stopping Beomgyu from dating someone. Is it stupid to feel like we have something even though we only went to prom together?
"No, we aren't" I mutter.
"What do you think then, Beomgyu? Wanna give her a chance?"
I look to Beomgyu, but his smile has faded.
"Wether me and Y/N are actually dating or not, the rest of the school thinks we are. So, no. I'm not interested"
"I'm sure the school is not that invested," Taehyun states, "you can go on a date with someone else if you want"
"I'm not interested" Beomgyu repeats.
"Why not? Please, just give her a chance! What am I supposed to tell Minji, her friend will be so upset" Yeonjun insists.
"I've got a lot going on right now, I don't have time for something like that"
Soobin spoke, "like what?"
Beomgyu shuts the book closed, "I have a ton of schoolwork. No time for a girlfriend"
"That didn't stop you from going to prom with Y/N"
"That's different"
"How is it different?" Yeonjun commands, "honestly, I'm starting to think that you and Y/N are actually dating with how you're overreacting"
"I'm not overreacting," Beomgyu groans, "I'm just not interested. Why can't I say that? I'm allowed to not want to date your friend"
"Fine" Yeonjun says.
It goes quiet. Everyone is now doing their work, or at least staring at their laptops pretending to. Beomgyu taps me on the shoulder.
"Wanna go work somewhere else?" He whispers. I nod.
We stand and leave the library without a word to his friends. Silently, I follow him past the classrooms and out the doors. We find an area with few students. Sitting down on a bench underneath a large oak tree, I speak.
"I'm sorry. The whole fake dating thing is turning into a problem, isn't it? I can break it off, if you want. I don't want you to be fighting with your friends because of me"
"No, they're always like that" he says, bringing his knees to his chest.
"Really? It seemed like it was getting kind of..." I hesitate, "aggressive"
"They just-, don't listen to me. And will try to persuade me into doing stuff for them, or questioning stuff like why I don't want a girlfriend"
"Haven't you told them about your dad?"
"No" he states, "they wouldn't listen. If they did, it's not like they'd get it. Not like you would"
It makes me happy that he trusts me, though it shouldn't. He's talking about his problems with his friends. I add, "I'm okay if you want to date that girl. If you're worrying about my feelings, don't"
"I don't want to date her," he clarifies, "I'm not interested in dating right now. Everything in my life is already a mess, I don't need more... more things to feel like I'm messing up"
"Well, we've been pretend dating for a few days now, and you haven't messed anything up yet!" I joke.
He laughs, "you're funny"
"Oh, I know, Beomgyu."
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lunawings · 2 months
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Animaniacs in Concert, 2/17/24 in Bristol, CT
Or, the story of how I ran into Rob Paulsen and immediately threw up.
Not on him, thankfully.
Where to begin? From the beginning, I guess.
I talk a lot about Japanese voice actors on this blog and I have almost no thoughts about American anime dub voice actors (no offense, I just don't know their work). However, if you asked me my favorite American cartoon voice actor, it's Rob Paulsen. I knew his voice before I even knew he existed, and if you ask me, he's one of the most recognizable male voice actors in Saturday morning cartoons.
He's probably most known as being Yakko on Animaniacs, and "half the Ninja Turtles" as he puts it. ("Maybe if I live to 102 I can voice all of them!") I also personally really liked him in The Mask cartoon, I think it's some of his best work. (Even though he was doing Jim Carey, he kind of wasn't at the same time. He made it his own.) But even beyond his leading roles, he just seems to pop up all sorts of places, and it always makes my day when I recognize him as additional voices.
While Japanese voice actors are often young and excessively beautiful people you're supposed to swoon over, 80s/90s American cartoon voice actors aren't... quite... the same. And yet. I sorta do, in a weird way. I mean I've known Rob Paulsen's voice for as long as my brain has been making memories and that's a pretty huge impact on a person. A few years back, I stumbled upon a few videos of him on YouTube attending cons performing Yakko's World and such, and I just loved his personality and energy so much. So, I added seeing him perform someday to my mental list of goals to accomplish if I ever returned to the US.
Fast forward again to the 2020s, the Animaniacs revival comes out on Hulu (I don't care what anyone says I freakin loved it) and I hear he's touring again with Animaniacs in Concert. I looked up the dates and none of them were remotely near me. As I checked back one day, mourning the possible missed opportunity and debating how far I might go, a new show popped up in Bristol, CT. How random, I thought. I checked if it was doable for me, and it was! It wasn't feasible as a day trip, but still doable. And once I saw there was one FRONT ROW SEAT LEFT, the deal was sealed as I quickly bought the ticket and reserved a room at the only hotel I could find in the area, the Bristol Double Tree.
Fast forward to yesterday. I arrived in Bristol just after noon following an uber and FOUR different buses. I'd woken up way too early, I was hungry and tired, and not feeling too great. I decided food would be my first plan of action, and since I didn't quite understand how to order room service (the menu wasn't loading on my phone anyway) and there wasn't anything within walking distance, I decided to just head downstairs and eat at the hotel restaurant/bar.
As I was waiting for my impossible burger and fries, I decided to take off the Yakko's World hoodie I'd been wearing.
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I bought it specifically to wear to the show, and I'd already spilled a little coffee on it this morning and didn't want to risk having to wash it again. So I tucked it behind me in the booth.
Shortly after that, another group walked in and sat at the table next to me. An older guy and some ladies. I wasn't paying much attention to them as I thought they were maybe a part of the wedding party I heard was at the hotel. My food came and I focused on that.
But then someone else walked in and joined them. Someone I very much DID recognize. "Oh there you are!" "Hi, I'm Rob!"
The next moment is kind of a blur so I'm not exactly sure whether I jumped a little or if I did the dramatic eyes widen slow turn, but I definitely had some kind of a visible reaction as I looked over to the table. It was then that I locked eyes with who at that moment I first realized was Maurice Lamarche, voice of Brain (from Pinky and the Brain) and many MANY Futurama characters (more than I realized as I learned later). He was the older man I mentioned earlier, and had been sitting there the entire time. And at that moment I thought perhaps he knew everything. (Both the fact that I recognized the new person who had just walked in, and the fact that I hadn't recognized Maurice himself until now.)
So I'm pretty sure I have at least mild prosopagnosia (face blindness) so it is hard for me to recognize people right away.
But there was something I could never fail to recognize, and that was the voice of Rob Paulsen, who was the person who had just walked into the room and joined the table with Maurice.
I'm not sure how they knew the women they were dining with, but they were all catching up, asking them if they were going to the show, etc. I listened a bit as Rob happily talked to them about the impact of the show and its fans. Such as how devoted fans would actually fly in to see them and how the average age of the audience was about 40 (hah ha... not yet but I'm getting there). He even mentioned Tress MacNeille at one point! Maurice was right in my view, but Rob was at an angle where I couldn't see him without turning my head but oh lord it was definitely him.
I had no idea what to do at this point. Do I say something? Do I not? Would it be terrible to just say hi and that I'm looking forward to the show??
I've been to a lot of events with voice actors in the past, especially in Japan, but I still just... cannot handle meeting famous people that I admire. Actually seeing them up close is intense enough, but actually TALKING to them? I don't know how anyone can do it.
I'm reminded of Amari in Idol Land PriPara, that episode where she meets Hibiki...
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Yeah, basically me. For the people who visualize in their head while they are reading something, just replace whatever you imagine I look like with Amari and this story will fit very well.
All while this is all racing through my mind, I'm still shoveling french fries into my mouth while trying (and probably failing) to stay calm and act normal (even though I'm pretty sure Maurice is onto me) and I soon realize I've got a couple fries stuck in my throat (as often happens when I'm eating without paying attention, as I'm a very fast eater). I exaggerated a little in my previous post when I said I was choking, but it was hard to swallow and I realized I'd have to sneak off to the bathroom to deal with it without causing any more of a scene. I basically threw my credit card on the table and ran, though (which was dumb in hindsight, but I didn't want anyone to think I was dine-dashing).
In the end, after I came back, I decided to just quietly pay the bill and leave without saying anything, scrunching and hiding my Yakko hoodie the best I could. I didn't want to interrupt them during their private time, and for that reason I didn't try to take any photos or videos either. So I have no proof that this happened but it very much did.
And it made sense, I realized later. I already knew that the Double Tree in Bristol was literally the only hotel in the area, where else would they be!!?
After leaving the table I was so worked up I basically walked straight out of the hotel because I didn't know what else to do and headed to the Carosel Museum of New England where I killed at least two whole hours sitting on a bench looking at intricately carved 100+ year old wooden animals while nursing my exhaustion and caffeine cravings. (The museum isn't that big, I just literally did not know what else to do with myself.)
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But I learned that most carousel horses are only decorated on the side that faces the customers. And since they were all hand-carved back then, the opposite side would often be carved by a less experienced carver in training or something. ISN'T THAT NEAT?
I thought that was neat.
Anyway.
Eventually I downed an energy drink I bought from a convenience store as I went on my way to the venue of the show.
I was still super early since I ran out of the hotel super early but there was already a crowd gathered outside. At first I didn't know this was the reason people had gathered, but the first 40 people to line up were eligible to sign up for a "meet-and-greet" with everyone after the show. And when I reached the front of the line, it was still open.
"Sure?" I said, not really fully understanding what I was signing up for. And so I headed inside.
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The show opened with Yakko's Universe (SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG) and of course closed with Yakko's World as the finale. What came in between was quite random. Despite not being an actual cast member, the real star of the show was composer Randy Rogel. Rob of course voiced Yakko and his other characters, and Randy voiced... almost everyone else haha. Just using his own voice most of the time, but still. He sang as Dot a lot.
And it seemed like he picked the songs they played not necessarily by what songs were popular, but by what songs he and Rob had stories to talk about. For example, they did a bunch of songs from the failed show Histeria when Rob literally broke into tears (he was acting) while talking about how Randy had to actually, physically, go to a library to research the topics he was writing about back in those days. Randy also played an alternate version of the song LA DOT that had sat untouched in a folder for decades.
Rob's voice doesn't sound quite the same as it used to, as anyone who has seen the 2020 Animaniacs series would know, but he can still do it all! And considering he survived throat cancer, and came back to not only work again but sing live!? He sounds amazing!
Maurice Lamarche was also of course a part of the show, and although he only "sang" one song as Brain, his interactions in character as Brain with Rob as Pinky were probably the highlight of the whole show. (They did a whole "Who's on First" sketch talking about what countries to conquer, with Pinky misunderstanding "Hungary", "Turkey" and "Chili".)
Maurice also did a showcase of his voice, including so many other Animaniacs and Futurama characters I had no idea were him, not to mention frikkin Toucan Sam and the narrator of Lexus commercials.
The only thing that disappointed me a little about the show, was they didn't really do anything from the 2020 series, but I guess Randy wasn't as involved with the music in that. So, oh well.
I didn't take many photos/videos during the show, since I wasn't fully sure of the etiquette (still kinda have my Japan brain for these sort of things) and since I was in the front row I wanted to give them my full attention. I think there are plenty of videos online anyway, since at least one segment was one I'd already seen before.
So, after the show ended, people began to line up for the meet-and-greet, and it was then that I fully understood what I had gotten myself into.
Each of us would get about a minute to talk with them individually, get their signature, and get a picture if we wanted. I was really kicking myself for not bringing anything to sign! I really had no idea it would actually be an option! (In the days leading up to the show I had been looking at Rob's website where I noticed he normally charges $60 for an autograph, so I didn't think he would do it for free.)
But more importantly, I realized I was going to have to actually face them. TALK TO THEM. The exact thing I had run away from earlier in the day.
And again, I considered just running away. But I had taken a spot on that list. A spot that could have gone to someone else and it was too late to give away now. So, I told myself, I had to see this through. No matter what.
As the line inched closer I panicked over whether they would recognize me from the hotel or not as I rehearsed in my head over and over again all the things I could say. I was honestly juggling between two or three entire scripts by the time it was finally my turn and when realized... after all that...
I did not need to say anything.
Rob saw my hoodie ("It's me!") so he knew I was there for him, and he knew I was nervous. So he did all the talking. (After all, that is his job. Literally!) He took my hand and complimented my hoodie, my hair, and everything. He said so many nice things about me (I even got a "Hellooooo nurse!") and even broke the ice by introducing me to "his friend the Brain" so I got to shake hands with Maurice as well. (I STILL THINK HE KNEW. So I felt a little awkward then but other than that) it was just such a wonderful interaction. Rob was so nice and kind and I got the impression he really, really cares about his fans.
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So I missed out on the autograph, but I did get a picture, and I left the entire experience feeling so warm and fuzzy and oddly complete. Childhood dream achieved.
It took me another four busses and an uber to get home today (I left around 8am, walked into my door after 4...) but it was all very worth it.
I'm mostly at peace with how things turned out, but if I ever get the chance to see them again, at a Comicon or whatever, I'll be sure to bring a Futurama DVD boxset for Maurice to sign and maybe try to acquire an old Animanics or Mask the Animated Series VHS for Rob!
You know, it's pretty ridiculous how easy it is to meet and get signatures from famous voice actors in this country. That almost never happens in Japan. I mean, I'm planning to go to an actual Love Live concert in Japan next month, and here I am oddly depressed I can't fly out to Seattle to see Chiemi and Coco at Sakura-con instead because I might get to actually meet MEET them there haha.
Even though it would be another disaster if I actually did.
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Hahah...
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Drunken Heart Eyes
You've had one too many and liquid courage has gotten you interested in the rogues.
The Riddler: He caught sight of you in the corner of his eye, taking off in a run. The rogues were very aware of how playful and loving you were while drunk. There had been many times that you had taken off running for the fun and chase when they realise you were gone. That's when you were watched like a Hawk. Just as you darted passed him, he caught your elbow and pulled you back. "Fuck!" You laughed when you realised who had caught you. "Where are you going, hm?" He smiled at you as you giggled, leaning into him. "You're so smart! I thought I'd get away with it!" You laughed. "Yes, you should know better." He replied with a smug grin. You wrapped your arms around him and he did the same incase you weren't steady. "How about you just stay with me, hm?" He offered. "I don't have a choice, Nygma." You replied. "You're right, you don't." He chuckled.
Scarecrow: No one expected those drinks to end with you flirting with Jonathan Crane. "Are you drunk?" He smiled with amusement. "Meh." You shrugged. "Why?" "Because you're trying to take me home." Jonathan laughed. "Oh, I need to take you home." Your eyes gleamed. "Please do." Jonathan chuckled with a shake of his head. "No, I'm not going home with you like that." "What, do I gotta try harder?" You asked, your brows knitting together with a pout. "No." He chuckled as he cupped your face with his hands, taking advantage in how you pressed yourself against him. "You're drunk, my dear. You get very silly when you're drunk. So I will make sure you get home safe and sound but you, darling, are going to bed alone." He grinned as you pouted more. "Awww no fair!"
Two-Face: He knew almost immediately what you were doing and tried to save you the embarassment you'd feel later. As you leaned forward, intruding on his personal space from your seat beside him he caught your arms. "No-no, you're drunk. Just relax, okay? Sit with me here, yeah?" Harvey pulled you into his side as he sat back in the booth, lounging slightly as he cradled you to his good side. "Relax, baby." He trailed his fingers up and down the length of your back, holding your head to his chest. "Just relax. I've got you." "They'll fall asleep if you do that." The Riddler pointed out. "Doesn't matter." Harvey replied as he continued to caress your back. "As long as they're relaxed."
Black Mask: Roman beckoned you with two fingers. "Come here, doll." Roman reached out to you when you were in reach, helping you into the booth. He pulled you to sit on his knee, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to his chest. "This is a new suit, how's it look?" "Roman," You you adjusted yourself wrapping an arm around his waist. "You always look so good. Absolutely gorgeous. All the time. You could wear garbage and make it look amazing. You don't gotta worry about a thing." He chuckled lowly. "This is why I like you, doll. You're so sweet even to a bad man like me." You giggled as your forehead bumped his. "I like you too much." You admitted. "Huh, just could say the same for you, beautiful." Roman replied huskily as he squeezed your thigh.
Penguin: "Oz wants you." One of the dancers said as she put her hand on your shoulder. You found Oz sitting at a booth with a cigar. "There you are, sweetheart. Come sit with me." "Oz, I've been looking for you everywhere!" You whined. "I told you, I'd see you in a bit. I just had some things to take care of first." Oswald leaned back slightly. "Sweetheart, are you drunk?" "Maybe." You giggled. Oswald rolled his eyes. "What am I gonna do with you huh?" "I can think of a few things." You replied as you leaned closer. He stipped you with a low chuckle. "What are you doing?" You whined. "I'm keeping an eye on you, sweetheart." He chuckled. "How about we leave that to the sober you, huh?"
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neuroticboyfriend · 9 months
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i really appreciate your positivity post about those of us who can't wear masks outside in the heat. i don't know if i have anything diagnosable but i'm definitely disabled nonetheless in such a way that i can't stand outside very long without getting extremely tired/dizzy/sick/miserable/etc. and i feel like i'm very prone to heat stroke due to how physically weak i am by default, especially since my climate is so fucking hot & humid and probably one of the worst such places in the whole country (i'd imagine at least?). it certainly doesn't help that the masks we have that aren't the classic N95s are all... black and absorb the sunlight lol. i know a lot of karens complain that they can't breathe when they have to go shopping for 20 minutes that way and it's pathetic to us but i legitimately feel trapped, panicked, and overheated when i can't breathe freely. it's overwhelming for sure!
yw!! I've been being kinder to myself about it and I still have some anxiety over it, but I wanted to share cuz like. we're the last people who should be beating ourselves up. we cant control that our bodies dont do well in heat, and we shouldnt be risking immediate serious illness or death. and we shouldnt feel ashamed because some comparatively abled people whined and are still whining about masks.
so yeah. i hope you're able to stay cool and safe this summer ♡ and its comforting to know im not alone
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