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#it's just shit for everyone plus if i really get to rent that place it's literally IN FRONT of my family's apartment i could still help out
mx-misty-eyed · 9 months
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remembering the time i was complaining about concert tickets being expensive and my former friend casually just said you could just rent an apartment near a venue for $500 a month so you wouldn’t have to pay for tickets
like. average rent in the us is over 1k (not to mention apartments in a big city where all the concert venues are would probably be more). and that’s not even considering, yknow, leases and security deposits and whatnot. your father is a millionaire landlord and you claim to be a socialist (despite saying that all people should work to, yknow, live while defending ur dad evicting an unemployed drug addict). why do you think that you can just casually rent an apartment for $500 so you don’t have to pay for concert tickets.
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s-4pphics · 5 months
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click! 1 (e.w.)
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SYNOPSIS: you need a roommate, and you love eggplant. [college au]
WORD COUNT: 3.7k
WARNINGS: photographer/roommate!ellie, ocs an artist with a reputation :p, they’re both rude as shit, crack, all ocs are black coded yeeahhh yeah, awkward meetings, slut-shaming, brief cunninglingus, mention of eviction, smut later yall know tha vibes 
two. three. four.
A/N: short part just stay w me lemme cook... excited 2 write this lets get this shit yall
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“W-What do you mean you’re moving?” 
Your roommate and best friend wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you close. Tears flooded in your eyes as she whispered the daunting news, your heart cracking in your chest. 
“I’m moving soon, stink.” Too soon, according to her. She’ll be gone by next week. Amaya snickered sadly as she cooed in your temple. “It's for good reason, though.”
Your ears perk, a curious hum vibrating her shoulder. 
“I got that internship— “
All sadness melds into excitement for your favorite person. You leap into her arms with squeals of congratulatory joy, planting smacking kisses all over her squishy cheek. 
“Oh my god! You should’ve said that first, bitch! What the fuck!” You wipe your tears on her hoodie. 
Her laughter rattles through your neck, “I just found out after class! I almost got hit by a fucking bus reading the email.” 
Amaya sets you down, rambles about her new position as a songwriting intern spilling from her like an overfilled glass. Tears of joy flow from you and her as she retells every detail about her acceptance. She’s leaving in a week and a half and going farther than you thought. 
“Girl… you’re really moving to New York?” 
“Only for like… four months, max. But yeah… Boutta be on BET come next year— “
“Maya.” 
“Hm?”
“… I can’t pay rent by myself,” you whisper, cringing and embarrassed. 
You hate to ruin her moment, but you’re concerned; Living off campus isn’t cheap and moving in the middle of the semester is less than ideal. It’d be a fucking hassle, and — to be frank — you’re not a people person. 
People like having you around because you’re fun, sure. But your reputation isn’t what you hoped for it to be when you moved out of your dad’s place for school. You wanted to be recognized for your creativity, and while your professors never hesitated to praise your talents, your peers failed to see past the status that was placed upon you. 
Frankly, you’re deemed as a dumb whore, especially after your falling out with one of the campuses best softball pitchers. 
It wasn’t even your fault. One raunchy snap to the wrong person and people think you live for sex and sex only! Just when you think everyone is over slut-shaming… 
“You thought I was gonna leave you to fend for yourself? Guess what I did.” 
Oh God. “What?” 
She twiddles her fingers together villainously, “I may or may not have set up an application on the student homepage— “
The small glimmer of hope washes away, shoulders dropping, fingers coming up to massage your temples.  
“Maya…” You exhale, trying to keep calm, “You know those things don’t fucking work!” 
Roommate compatibility is a fucking scam. No one ever notes how they actually are in the application. You think you’ve found someone that’s clean, quiet, stays out of your space without permission and the next day you find dead roaches under your couch. College attendees have no idea what bleach is and it makes you sick. 
“Damn… you’re usually optimistic.” 
“I’m optimistic about good ideas. I’m gonna be living with a fucking freak from Craigslist, thanks a lot.” 
“C’mooon! You’ll be fine, babe, trust me.” Amaya wraps her arms around your neck once more, wetly smacking your cheek before turning to paddle to her room. “Plus, you’ll meet someone new!”
When you don't follow, she spins. She must’ve noticed your impassiveness, poutingly asking to help me pack? Tears overwhelm your ducts once more, quietly taking her extended hand as she leads you to her bedroom. 
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DAY ONE of roommate searching began, and you were already prepared to move back in with your dad. Amaya had enough time to orchestrate the housing agreement with you, making sure to highlight some of your most important characteristics in a roommate. One of the main ones being cleanliness. Some form of organization. 
DAY TWO was easier… Someone finally made it to the in-person interview stage. They didn’t make it far, though; They wouldn’t stop smacking their gum and it drove you crazy. Back to square one. 
DAY SIX came around and you were losing hope; Why are frat boys applying to live with you? You’d rather jump into oncoming traffic than house with any of Abby’s annoying, dirty friends. You've seen their house on numerous occasions and it never fails to make your skin crawl. 
It’s DAY THIRTEEN, and Amaya’s gone. After the sobbing fit with your best friend at the airport earlier, you got back to work. 
DENY REQUEST. 
DENY REQUEST. 
DENY REQUEST. 
You sigh in exhaustion and lean back in your chair. If you don't take a break from your screen in the next five seconds, your eyes will bleed. 
Why are people… so odd? 
The number of applications you’ve had to deny in the last week is criminal; Why are cis-het men continuously filling out applications knowing they’re not welcome in your space?! 
Even the people that made it to the in-person interview stage are incapable of being… not strange. You’d rather die than live with someone who collects dead maggots in mason jars (yes, you did almost call the police when they described their fascination with death in depth)!
All you need is one fruitful application with an identity to match! Just one. 
Amaya still calls from New York whenever she has a moment of peace to see how the roomie-search is going, but you can’t ignore the sadness that fills your heart every time she misses a call. Her laughter is gone, and your day-to-day life feels empty. 
They’re already working your bestie to the bone; You hope she can feel your encouragement from thousands of miles away. 
You scroll and click, scroll and click, scroll and deny deny deny until you pause, your eyes skimming over the application with a familiar name. 
ELLIE WILLIAMS. 
Ellie from stats, you instantly recognize. Curiosity perks and your brows furrow, sipping lukewarm tea as you skim over her contact information, her pet preferences, all the way down to her additional commentary. A snicker left at her blunt statement. 
temporary request. my last roommate moved and i’m poor. just waiting on this job approval. 
… Ellie in a nutshell. How relatable.
At least she’s not a complete stranger. Every interaction with her stirs in your mind as you jot her number down on a lone sticky-note. They were nothing special from your perspective: the two of you exchanging notes, her holding the door open as everyone scurried out of class, you asking for a pencil (and her asking for it back after the lecture), and you can’t help but wonder why she would want to apply to share a space with anyone, let alone you. 
She's only ever been described as standoffish by your peers. From the outside, Ellie’s blank. Flat tone, flat expression, plain appearance, and the fact that you never know what she’s thinking is unsettling. You’re thrown off your game whenever she’s near and you hate it. 
But the spot is temporary; Amaya will be back in a couple of months, and it seems Ellie’s leaving sometime soon by her small note. 
You down the rest of your tea and stretch where you sit, pondering. Trying to imagine Ellie in your space.
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“I don’t know why I can’t take Maya’s spot. I’d make an excellent roommate.” 
Your expression flattens, glare piercing through your good friend. 
Abby scoffs, “C’mooon! I mind my business...” She pauses, leaning across the table, nearly knocking your coffee over. Her whispers send a shock down your spine, “…and I give good head. I’m a package deal.” 
A brow raises. Abby’s sweeter than candy and she puts it down, but you already made the mistake of living with someone you fucked before, and you vowed to never do it again. If Amaya hadn’t given you a place to stay after the blow up between you and your ball-throwing sneaky link, you’re not sure where you'd be. Definitely not a student; The stress would’ve forced you to collapse. And drop out. 
“Sorry, stink. Not happening.” 
She rolls her eyes, “Whatever.” She takes a sip from her drink, “Can’t believe you’d let that freak in before me.” 
You pause. “You’re a freak, too— “
“I’m the good kind!” She searches like someone’s watching her, voice dropping to a whisper, “Ellie’s fucking weird, dude. When’s the last time you’ve seen her interact with anyone? A literal fucking NPC. All she’s programmed to do is stand and look.” 
“And give out pencils,” You interject with a snicker, “Who cares. I don’t like most of the idiots here, either. I barely put up with your ass.” 
Abby raises her glove-covered palms in surrender, “Fuck it. When I see an alert about a missing student, I’ll know who it is.” 
“You’re so fucking extra— “
DING!
Your neck cranes towards the opening cafe door, shock surging through your body at the sight of the NPC in question. Ellie silently stands at the back of the line, headphones secured on her head and nose red from the cold, classically bored expression plastered on her face. 
“Oh, this is hilarious,” Abby huffs, “Go greet your new housemate.” 
Another glare is sent in her direction, “Can you shut up? Her name’s not on any lease. I barely talked to her.”  
“Do it now, then. Triple dog dare you.” Abby smirks behind her cup. 
You sigh and raise from your seat, “You’re a cunt.” 
“The wettest. Go.” 
You flick her forehead before making your way over to Ellie, who’s mindlessly scrolling through her phone. Her sniffles get louder with each step you take, metal music blasting through her speakers. 
You tap her shoulder and she jumps, sliding one of her ear cups over to hear. 
“Hey, Ellie,” you smile politely. 
“… Sup,” she mutters hoarsely, turning her body towards you, eyes filled with… nothing. Expected. 
Silence passes, and you fill it, “I got your app yesterday. Just wanted to come and introduce myself.” 
“Alright.” 
More silence. You can see Abby out the corner of your eye, mockingly swiping her tongue between her index and middle finger. You flush and stutter, and Ellie’s staring like you have two heads. 
“I, uh… yeah. I’ve been having interviews with some people that submitted a form. You free sometime this week?” 
“Uhh…” She glances down at her phone. “Yeah. Around five tomorrow.” 
More silence. Fuck, this is awkward. 
“… Cool.” You pull your phone out and text her saved number, the alarm ringing from her phone. “That’s me. Just call before you stop by.” 
She nods and turns her back to you, cranking her music to full volume. You gawkily shuffle where you stand before hustling back to your table, Abby cackling to herself. You plop down and kick her under the table, but she laughs harder. 
“What’d I say!” 
“Not a thing,” You hiss, “She’s just a little awkward. It’s not that serious.” 
“Oh, yeah.” 
“Oh yeah what.” 
“She’s definitely your fucking housemate.” She tsks in disappointment before a smirk appears, her eyes darkening. “Can I eat it one last time before she moves in?” 
A jolt surges in your tummy, your hand closing into a fist. You kick her again and she giggles. 
Time passes as you and Abby’s conversation carries on like normal. Another ding rings through the coffee shop after some time, and you watch Ellie’s backpack bounce as she rushes down the sidewalk; Abby’s rambles about a soccer player she’s trying to smash sound like gibberish. 
Ellie has a Spider-Man charm and laminated polaroid latched onto her zipper. 
… Cute. 
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You’re going to fail statistics over a random.
Your professor’s voice sounds like white noise; Every pause she takes is used as an opportunity to sneak glances at Ellie. None of your notes are useful; The doodles and sloppy scribbles are solidifying that incoming F, for sure. Only fifteen minutes until you’re out of here. 
She’s two seats down from you, jotting down whatever she deems necessary for the midterm. You didn’t even register her answering the professor’s question, her rosy lips curving around her teeth with each syllable. 
Ellie blinks slowly, twice, three times before her eyes lock with yours, brows furrowed, evidently confused at your gawking. 
Your stomach drops with your gaze, fingers curled tightly around your pencil. 
The lecture finally comes to a close as your thoughts flurry, wordlessly shoving your books into your bag. A light tap on your shoulder yanks your attention. 
Ellie stands before you, puffer cinched under the bands of her backpack and cheeks just as rosy as before. 
“Hey. Can we switch the time?” 
“Huh?” Don’t stare, don’t stare. 
She sighs, “The time for the interview. Can we change it?” 
You blink dumbly, “Uh… sure. To what time?” 
Agitation creases her brows. “Now. Something came up and I can’t miss it.” She pauses, eyes flicking awkwardly around the room, weakly adding, “If that’s okay.” 
“Um… yeah, no problem…” You peer at the clock on the wall, “You want a coffee?” 
A slight wince from her. “… Yup.” 
She clearly doesn’t by the way her fingers are anxiously tapping on her thigh, but you nod nonetheless, hurriedly grabbing your belongings and leading her down to the student lounge. 
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“I don’t want you thinking this interview is one-sided,” You pray your gentle smile is calming the evident nerves of the freckled girl. “You can ask me anything you want, as well. If you have any concerns, any questions, shoot.” 
Ellie’s eyes are glued to her coffee cup, but her head bobs, expression void. Silence simmers between you. 
“I usually start these off with an icebreaker to get the jitters out! Just list three facts about yourself and I’ll follow.” 
Ellie’s lone hand comes up to scratch underneath her ear before meeting your gaze. Her eyes are so pretty; Too bad there’s nothing behind them. 
“Or I can go, sure, so!” Your hands clap together, “I’ll start with myself. I’m majoring in graphic design, I’m secretly a theater nerd, and I dream about owning an eggplant farm.” 
The girl before you clearly didn't expect that last statement. Her brows crease and the corner of her lip arches upward in a barely-there smile. Foreign to her face. 
“That’s not a fact,” She mutters, the shell in her pupils cracking. Just slightly. 
“Who cares, I love eggplant. Best vegetable by a landslide.” 
“Sike.” 
You scoff in disbelief, “What?” 
“Everybody on the planet knows that squash is god-tier— “
You squint, “Squash? Are you deadass?”
“It’s fucking versatile!” Ellie’s voice pitches higher, and your grin widens, “You can put it in everything and you don’t have to do much. Eggplant sucks up everything in the pan and still comes out soggy and tasteless— “
Choked laughter leaves your mouth, “If you don’t know how to cook, just say that.” 
Her mouth drops in exaggerated shock. “I know how to fuckin’ cook.” 
“Right.” 
“I do, what the he— “
“Fun fact about Ellie: she can’t cook!” You kiddingly sneer. She chuckles and shakes her head, tongue poking the inside of her cheek. You almost miss her statement, “I take pictures.” 
“Hm?” 
“I wanna be a professional photographer... At some point. I take pic— “
Ellie’s phone vibrates on the table and she leaps into action, snatching her bag from beside her and standing from her seat. 
“Wait— “
“I gotta go,” She mutters as she straps her bag around her shoulders. “Sorry. See you later.” 
Ellie throws some bills on the table before dipping, her phone pressed against her ear, rambling about making time. She barely touched her coffee. 
Could’ve been worse, you utter to yourself. 
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Days pass, and you don’t hear from Ellie. 
When you saw her in stats two days after the interview, she hardly acknowledged you, morphing into the hermit that you knew her to be. You noted how tired she looked, though. You would’ve asked if she were okay if she hadn’t run out of class without a word. 
You’re weighing your options: allowing a random oddball into your apartment, or allowing a random oddball who hates eggplant into your apartment. Rent is due next week, and Amaya’s space is still vacant. 
At this point, the roster is almost nonexistent, and Ellie was the least concerning candidate. Despite Abby’s concern, she doesn’t seem like the type of person to bury dead bodies in the front lawn. 
“I dunno, friend. She’s a little weird. Getting mad incel vibes from her.” 
Your eyes roll back into your skull as you munch on cashews, “You’re getting vibes from someone you never talked to. She seemed cool at the interview.” 
“Yeah, 'cause vegetable debates are so note-worthy,” Amaya scoffs. 
She’s starting to sound a little too much like Abby, “I think y’all are forgetting that this is a temporary solution. I’m not tryna spend the rest of my fucking life with her! I need rent paid and she needs a place to stay for a few months.” 
Your best friend’s sigh drags through the line, “Alright… It seems like you made up your mind.” 
“Like I said, rent is due. I don’t have many options.” 
“Stop stressing. You found my replacement, apparently.” 
She pauses before hollering, “BITCH, IT’S SATURDAY! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU INSIDE? WHERE’S ABBY?” 
“Out smashing soccer players.” You huff. 
“Damn… My fault.” 
“I’m chilling. I just need head.” 
“Go out! Find somebody!” 
You groan, “Then I’ll have to shave— “
“Nair exists, you bonehead! Just go! You keep calling in a bad mood and it’s getting on my nerves!” 
You ponder and glance at your digital clock. It’s not even ten… Abby did tell you that Kappa was throwing.
“I can hear the engines turning in your big head. Bye.” 
Laughter explodes from you at the dial tone. 
“Hey, Siri… call Abby.” 
“CALLING ABBY BIG DICK SLUT— “
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Tonight has been a blur since you left your apartment. 
You remember making it halfway through Blam Boom before your speaker died, downing your last couple of shots of 1800, and Ubering to the location Abby pinged. 
It only took a few minutes for her to scoop you up onto the packed kitchen counter and shove her tongue in your mouth. One shout of I’m horny from you and she was yours for the rest of the night. 
Now you’re pressed up against some bathroom sink upstairs, Abby’s head shaking between your legs, your jeans and underwear flung onto the shower rail. Each flick of her tongue is both clumsy and precise, applying pressure exactly where you need it. 
Your clit’s throbbing under her tongue, the muscle igniting the flame in your tummy as your climax builds, zaps in your spine. Cries of her name meld with the booming music from outside, the walls rattling like nerves in your toes. 
Abby’s gorgeous under you, you know it, the drunk part of your brain knows it, your desperate cunt knows it, but you’re no longer thinking about her compared to earlier. Your mind is elsewhere, somewhere it shouldn’t be. 
You’re thinking of freckles. Green eyes instead of blue. Chapped, rosy lips, and you don’t know why. But you succumb to it. Ellie’s trapped underneath your eyelids, crowding your senses, your empty head suddenly full of images of her in any way you could conjure. 
Your orgasm shatters you, but you’re silent, trembling hand glued over your mouth as Abby groans in your cunt. She’s a doll, easing you back down to earth, dragging your underwear and pants up your shaky legs and getting you back home safely. 
When you’re showered and your teeth are brushed, she tucks you in, gently kissing your forehead. You beg her to stay with you, but she declines with I know how you get before silently departing. 
Your phone is squeezed between your fingers after minutes of trying to sleep, eyeing Ellie’s saved contact until darkness overtakes you. 
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The pounding on your door is worse than the ones from inside your skull. Fuck Tequila, from the bottom of your heart. Waves of nausea crash over you with every waddle, hobbling your hunched form over to yank the front door open. 
A bored Ellie stands in front of you, a large camera and headphones hanging from her neck, seemingly cozy in her sweater and puffer, large duffel bags packed to the brim with clothes dangling from her shoulders. Your cheeks warm instantly. Gray sweats, gray sweats—
“I’m here,” She states plainly. 
“… Why?” You croak.
Ellie’s seems just as confused as you, her eyes piercing as if her appearance is obvious. 
“To move in.” 
“… Why?”
Ellie sighs and snags her phone from her jacket pocket, swiping a few times before nearly blinding you with her screen. 
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Your jaw nearly hits the floor. When the fuck did you send that? 
“So, I’m here,” she slips her device back in her pocket. “Which room am I in?” 
“E-Ellie, uh… there's been a mis— “
“Look,” she holds her pale, veiny hands up. “I don’t wanna beat around the bush anymore. I got evicted and I need a place to stay until I secure this job. I’m willing to put down whatever’s needed for rent but I don’t have time to bullshit.” 
Ellie proceeds, sarcasm slipping, “Respectfully.” 
She pushes past your stunned form, bags accidentally brushing against your bare legs. You can't even move to stop her; You merely watch Ellie shuffle to inspect the living room, the small kitchen, pausing in front of the abstract painting you made for your dad before eventually moving down the hall and into Amaya’s empty space. How the fuck did she get in the building, anyway?
Your deer-like eyes lock with her void, mossy ones as she peers over her shoulder. 
“I still have some stuff to pick up. Please leave my key under the mat if you go somewhere.” 
Before she enters the empty room next to yours, you hear her gruffly say, “Leave the lease on the table so I can sign it, too.”
Amaya’s — Ellie’s door slams shut seconds later, the soft click of the door locking follows suit. 
What the fuck just happened. Gall almost surpasses your anger. The audacity...
For the first time, you’re grateful that your shift is in two hours. You need to get the fuck out of here before you cause a scene and catch a case. 
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tagggiiiesss missed yall ;3 : @starologist @hrtmal @ohlawdthebirds @villainousbear @timmy-27 @inf3ct3dd @aouiaa @shurisbigtoe @emothurman @lonelyfooryouonly @imelliesgf @baumbii @brackishkittie @littletinyladybugs @r1miese @horror-whoree @elsbunny222 @elliesatchel @makemescreamel @lav3nd3rhaze @elliezflower @ellieloml @ellies-princess @saverdelrey @womenofarcane
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tieronecrush · 8 months
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seven minutes in heaven (the bathroom)
frankie morales x f!reader
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rating: E (18+ only, MDNI)
summary: it's your roommate ben miller's birthday and he's invited the special forces guys over and asked you to invite some of your friends. the night comes down to a throwback game of seven minutes in heaven. you've been into frankie for months, so when your name and frankie's are pulled together, you can't help but wonder what can happen in seven minutes?
word count: 2.9k
warnings: mentions of a break up, alcohol use/drunkeness (benny), grumpy frankie, use of pet names (mariposa, hermosa, cariño), dirty talk in spanish (i hate conjugations so pls let me know if anything is wrong lol), mirror sex, unprotected sex, breathplay? (mouth gets covered), pls let me know if i am missing anything
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“You gotta be kiddin’ me, man. Why are we playing this shit? We’re all grown adults,” Frankie huffs to your right in the small circle in yours and Ben Miller’s living room. His arms are crossed over his chest, gray t-shirt pulling taut at his shoulders. Warm brown eyes are rolling up to the ceiling under the brim of his Standard Oil hat that you swear is glued to his head — you’ve never seen him without for as long as you’ve lived with Benny — and it works to hide the luscious dark curls that fight to peek out around it.
“Oh, loosen up, Fish! We’re all here to have fun, so just play the game. Everyone here’s agreed to it, and it’s my fucking birthday so you have to do what I say!” Benny leans forward next to you on the couch, projecting his voice toward Frankie and gesturing vaguely around with his hands while his words start to slur together.
You laugh softly, patting Ben’s shoulder and nodding your head to get him to lean back on the couch again instead of trying to get in his friend’s face. Truth was, the prospect of this game did stir up some nerves in your stomach, even as an adult, but you wouldn’t dare go against Benny’s birthday wishes. So, you’re stuck playing Seven Minutes in Heaven with his Special Forces buddies, his brother, and a good mix of your friends that Benny has…taken a liking to.
It was one of the perks he got excited about when you’d come to him, a bit desperate, needing a place to live when your long term boyfriend of four years broke it off with you and asked you to move out. He agreed to have you in his guest room for the foreseeable future until you could scrounge up enough for rent somewhere on your own, and that first weekend he begged to throw you a “welcome party”, which was his ploy to get a bunch of your friends over for him to chat up.
That was a few months ago now, and it happened to also be the first time you met Frankie — Catfish to the Special Forces guys.
And since then, it’s been months filled with tension between you two, awkward interactions and quick touches to pass him drinks or him scooting behind you in your tiny kitchen when he was over. It was always heated with you two, electricity flowing with a current and waiting for a spark. But Frankie was a gentleman, never assuming or overly forthcoming, and you were, well, rusty. Not dating in four years really throws you for a loop when trying to hook up with someone.
Frankie’s eyes meet yours when your laugh reaches him, a flash of excitement evident in the widening of his pupils. A smile stretches across your face at him, shaking your head.
“Probably don’t want to go against this birthday boy, Frankie. He’s not afraid to guilt you into things, or worse, just bother the shit out of you until you do what he wants. Plus, nobody has to know what does or doesn’t happen behind the door.”
Ben whips his head towards you with an exaggerated shock in his face, Frankie’s chuckle low as everyone else laughs.
“Don’t give him any ideas about not fully immersing in the game. He’s just bein’ a grumpy old bastard.”
Benny turns away from you as Frankie rolls his eyes again, the birthday boy pulling out two names from the bowl in the center. It ends up being one of your friends and Santiago, which earns a cheer knowing his suave reputation. Once the two are back in the bathroom, the younger Miller brother sets a timer on his phone and everyone gets to chatting and drinking again. You and Benny argued back and forth before the party about using the other’s room for the game, finally deciding to use the hall bath for sake of neutrality. And clean sheets.
A handful of rounds have come and gone, people returning with smirks or poker faces, everyone trying to pull out any information from the participants. You have yet to go, and it’s the same case for Frankie. Benny’s been choosing the names for everyone, hiding them close to his chest and throwing them back in the bowl to be selected again.
You watch Ben pick out two new slips, reading your name off of the first one. Echoes of your quickening pulse thud in your ears, heat rooting across the nape of your neck. Ben’s eyes dart to Pope as he looks at the second slip of paper, and your stomach drops with disappointment from the high hopes you didn’t realize you had. Your own eyes fall to your lap as you wait to hear Santiago’s name out loud, molars biting the inside of your cheek to attempt to swallow your small pill of upset.
“And Fish.”
Your vision fills with Ben’s side profile, your stomach now doing somersaults as nerves begin to take over. Your mouth dries, tongue pushing against the roof of your mouth and sucking in your cheeks to try to conjure up any saliva. Frankie seems nearly as surprised, or is it nervous? Contempt? He’s hard to read at the moment; the only clues into his reaction are the split second of widened eyes and rubbing his palms up and down his denim-clad thighs before he stands and looks at you.
The hooting and hollering start when you get up from your spot on the couch, small steps leading Frankie and yourself down the hallway away from the party and into your bathroom. Nothing is said as he closes the door and locks it, his large frame turning back to face you across the small tiled floor while he leans back on the door’s surface.
His eyes lock on you, pinprick shocks following their wake as he takes you in from head to toe. There’s still a neutral expression on his face, hands slipped into his front pockets. Your own gaze fixed on your tray of makeup at the side of vanity, anxious fingers reaching out to fidget with a lip gloss. The silence in the room is deafening, the muffled sounds of the group only filling the dead air so much. After what feels like an eternity, you can’t take it, clearing your throat and speaking up.
“We don’t, um, obviously don’t have to do anything.”
You’re still not looking at Frankie when you hear his gruff voice respond.
“Is that what you want, mariposa? To do nothing?”
He grabs your attention with the nickname, a swirl of butterflies batting their wings wildly in your gut when you take in a new expression on his face. Tender eyes with a flirty smirk. Pushing off of the door, his strides take him only two steps before he’s in front of you, hand pulling his hat up and the other raking through his hair in a nervous twitch. Your lower back presses into the edge of the countertop, mouth blubbering like a fish as you try to formulate a sentence.
“Cause, if I’m honest, I don’t want to do nothing,” Frankie’s hand finds the counter at your side, one arm brushing against your shirt. His other reaches for your cheek, hovering over close enough for you to feel the warmth radiating off of his palm, “I’ve really wanted to kiss you since I met you. Can I please do that, hermosa?”
“Yeah, you can, Frankie,” comes out breathy and pathetic from your mouth, half a whimper as you wait for the moment you’ve thought of since you saw him in your kitchen.
In an instant, Frankie’s lips are on yours in a gentle but confident kiss. His hand has found your cheek finally, laying passively before it grips tighter and tilts your head back to give him more leverage over you. The embrace turns heady, his mouth slanted into yours as the two of you move together quickly to make up for all the lost moments from months prior.
When his tongue melds against yours, a soft moan slips out and is swallowed into his mouth. The noise pushes Frankie toward you, close to the point that his front is pressed entirely against you. You can feel how hard he is, the way his bulge digs in against you sending another moan out of your mouth. His large hands leave their places on your cheek and the counter, grabbing fistfuls of your hips and your ass. Frankie pulls away enough to speak against your swollen lips, short and demanding.
“Up.”
With one effortless lift as you jump, you're seated on the countertop, and Frankie’s kissing you hard again. Your own hands rest one on his shoulder, the other reaching to take his cap off and discard it on the ground, fingers combing through his hair. An arm wraps around your lower back, tugging you across the cool stone surface to the edge. His other hand grips the back of your thigh, pulling your legs further apart to slot himself between them, grinding himself against your clothed center. The feeling of pressure on your clit makes your head fall back from his kiss, a whimper pulling out of your chest as your hips work to catch more of the feeling.
“Y’know, I’m pretty sure we don’t have much time left before someone’s gonna be banging down the door, but I want you so bad right now, hermosa.”
Your head drops forward again, staring into Frankie’s eyes that are very clearly blackened with desire even in the low lighting of the bathroom. Licking your bottom lip, you nod quickly and mutter out.
“Fuck me, Frankie. I don’t care how fast or rough you need to be, just please fuck me.”
A groan comes from him at your words as he grabs you again, dragging you off the counter to stand on your feet again. His hands on your hips turn you around to face the mirror, making eye contact in the reflection.
“Take your shorts and panties off for me, cariño. Gotta be quick.” He winks at you, a light smack to your ass before he pops the button on his jeans and drags the zipper down. You do the same with your denim shorts, dropping the material along with your underwear to your ankles, stepping one out.
Behind you, Frankie has pulled his pants and boxers halfway down his thighs. One of his hands finds your lower back, gently coaxing you to bend forward on the counter. His other set of fingers prod through your folds, a breathy moan coming from him as he feels your wetness.
“This all from me kissing you, hermosa?”
“Nah uh. It’s from just being in the same room as you all night.”
“Mmm, you’ve wanted me that bad, angel? Should’ve said something. We could’ve been having lots of fun these past few months.”
“I was—I was shy.”
Frankie shakes his head as he looks at you in the mirror, a devilish smirk on his face.
“Don’t think you’re shy now, cariño. Eres una chica traviesa (You’re a naughty girl),” his fingers slip into your entrance for a few ticks, a gasp fogging the glass in front of you as he pulls them out, “You ready for me, mariposa? Might be a lot to take.”
He winks with a smug look on his face, messy curls hanging over his forehead and framing his face.
“Francisco, just fuck me already. We’re losing time that you could be inside of me.” Your frustration bubbles over out of impatience. He waits for another beat to tease you, and when you open your mouth to complain again, he drives his cock into you.
His smugness was granted — the way he’s filling you up completely is unlike anyone you’ve had before.
As if he knew your reaction before it happened, his hand covers your mouth to muffle the loud moan that jerks out of you. Frankie wastes no time, his thrusts starting fast and hard from behind.
“This what you wanted, mariposa? Wanted me to fuck your hard and fast? A mi chica le gusta sucio, no? (My girl likes it dirty, right?)”
Your response is stifled by his hand, the only sounds in the room Frankie’s low voice and the slap of his thighs against your ass. Your eyes screw shut at the feeling of his cock dragging in and out of your walls quickly, the head of his length brushing that extra sensitive spot inside of you.
“Nah uh, cariño. Eyes open. Want you to watch me fuck you like the dirty girl you are.” Frankie’s hand squeezes your ass tightly, a yelp coming out of your mouth from behind his hand. You open your eyes and look at him in the mirror, sweat building on your forehead and your exposed collarbone. He makes eye contact with you in the reflection, his hips fucking into you rougher.
“Fuck, don’t you look pretty taking my cock? Es todo lo que soñaste, hermosa? (Is it everything you dreamed of, beautiful?)”
Your tongue pokes out of your mouth, licking the salty skin of his fingers. Frankie groans quietly and shifts the position of his hand, two of his thick fingers pressing in between your lips to fill your mouth.
“Chupa, cariño. Suck.”
Following his demand, your cheeks concave and your tongue swirls around them in your mouth. Frankie’s eyes darken further as he watches in the reflection, thrusts becoming sloppier.
“‘M so close, cariño, don’t think I can last much longer. You gotta be quiet while I take care of you, yeah?”
Without an answer, his fingers slip from your mouth. His other hand finds your lower stomach, pulling you up to stand with your shoulders against his chest, cock filling you up with each drag of his hips. The fingers wet with your saliva are quick to circle your clit, the extra stimulation barreling you towards the edge.
“Oh fuck, Frankie! Yes, yes, yes!” Your whines are as quiet as you can make them, the back of your head pressing hard into his shoulder as his next thrust sends your vision black and muscles taut. Every thought in your brain seeps away, pleasure filling every crevice of you.
Your walls squeeze around his cock, nails digging into his arm around you as he fucks you through your orgasm while chasing his own.
“Fucking hell, mariposa. Pussy’s fucking milking my cock, god. So tight. Eres tan perfecta para mi (You are so perfect for me).”
He thrusts his cock one, two, three more times before he pulls out quickly, replacing the feeling of you with his fist and repeating your name over and over under his breath. The sound of your come around his cock nearly drops you to your knees to take him in your mouth, but the looming pressure of time keeps you standing, compromising by bending over the counter again. Ropes of his warm come paint your ass and your wet cunt, a whine falling from your lips as his own soft, melodic whimpers fill your ears.
It’s quiet in the room except for the gasps of breaths you both take to calm down, eye contact made through the mirror as you both smile widely at each other. Nothing else is spoken as Frankie grabs tissues from the shelf above the toilet, wiping his come from your skin. Before he clean it up entirely, you swipe a fingertip through one streak, bring it to your lips to suck it clean. His mouth hangs open at the sight and you smirk satisfied, winking before you pull up your underwear and fasten your shorts up again.
Both of you are buttoning as a fist pounds on the door, the sound of a phone alarm following it. Benny’s voice booms from the other side, a cackle evident in his tone.
“Time’s up, boring fucks!”
Frankie looks at you with a sweet smile, nodding toward the door, “Ready?”
You exhale a chuckle and nod, taking a look in the mirror and making eye contact with Frankie as he looks at your reflection tenderly. Your hands brush at your hair, tapping the sweaty makeup back into your skin. Frankie shakes his head behind you, tugging you around by your belt loops. He leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.
“Ladies first, mariposa.”
You step ahead of him, swinging the door open after twisting the lock undone and being met with a stumbling Benny on the other side.
He looks between the two of you, suspicion on his face as he tries to read your minds. Both of you have a poker face on, and he groans, shaking his head.
“Took you both long enough. What, were you fixing your clothes?”
“No, Frankie was just watching as I fixed up my makeup and had a catch-up. Nothing exciting for you to gossip about, Benny.”
He groans, marching back to the living room, “They didn’t do anything! Just fucking talked like losers.”
Frankie chuckles behind you, his warm palm rubbing against your lower back as you walk down the hall in front of him. His touch drops from you when you enter the party, both of you returning to your original seats and falling back into the conversation as the game switches to Truth or Dare.
Santiago glances at Frankie sitting next to him, chuckling to himself, “Zipper’s down, Fish.”
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IF YOU WANT TO BE ON THE TAGLIST, PLEASE FILL THIS FORM OUT! thank you!
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ninthskzmember · 2 months
Text
Sweet revenge
Hwang Hyunjin x reader.
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idol!hyunjin x idol!reader word count: 1,3k warnings: kinda angsty, jealous hyunjin (lives in my head rent free), resentful reader, swearing. note: hi guys! i just wanted to keep a little update for you all while i'm working with the 2min sharing is caring part. i hope you enojoy this. <3 love ya.
"So you're really doing it"
"I'm totally doing it"
"Everyone is gonna know..."
"Yeah, that's kind of the idea" You smiled at her "I want him to feel as stupid as I did"
"Yeah, I get it but―"
"Stop defending him" you cutted her off. "If you're on his side then be, but don't come here and annoy me"
"I'm not" she added "What he did was wrong, periodt. BUT" she emphasized the last word "You'll expose him in front of everyone"
"He will know"
"Okay, but the people who knew you will know too" she paused "plus he sucks at hiding shit"
"That's on him, he sucks at media training" you laughed when remembered the many times he almost exposed your relationship with him just because his goofyness.
"Okay, I'm just warning you" she smiled and walked towards you "Have fun and break a leg" she hugged your body and let you go.
"Thank you, Somi" You smiled at her and moments later, she left.
[Later that day...]
'I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring, he argued with me about everything.'
Your song started blasting on the huge speakers from the award show, the sound of the drums was making the people's chest even vibrate a bit
'He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye, he said he's six foot two and I'm like dude... nice try.'
And there it was, the first direct lyrics against your ex lover, standing right in first row with his beloved members right beside him.
You weren't even trying to hide that you wanted to see his reactions over the lyrics, you kept an eye on his table from the first moment you got a foot on stage.
'But he was so much fun, and he had such weird friends, and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end. Another song, another club, another bar, another dance, and when he'd said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France.'
You knew his members knew about you, so there was no surprise to you when they laughed out loud with the 'weird friends'.
When the song reached the France line, in the screens from the place there were shown many pictures of you in the country... The ones that Hyunjin took for you in his own little camera. Yes, you'd save them for years if you needed to.
'So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed, till I remember all the times he made a pass on my friend. Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down; If I had to choose... I would say right now...'
Long pause, just to have him on his tippy toes. Jeongin was literally grabbing him, waiting for the music to break and expecting the next lyrics.
'I want to get him back, wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad. Oh, I want to get him back, 'cause then, again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad'
Audience screaming and moving their hands in the air to the rhythm of the music, and a 'I can't believe it' kind of expression in Hyunjin's face was everything that you needed to feel fulfilled.
'Oh, I want sweet revenge. I want him again. I want... To get him back, back, back'
You sang these lyrics while dancing along with Beomgyu, who was banging his head along with the music. You knew Hyunjin was going to be upset about it, you had a zillion discussions with your ex-lover about this guy, and that's why you did it.
'So I write him all these letters and I throw them in the trash cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh'
You changed your lyrics while singing live 'the way he grabs my ass' while the backing track stayed true to the official line. Shocked everyone in the room, including your own friends in the building, who knew the real lyrics but didn't expect you to be explicit at this event.
'Yeah, I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "Send"
I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends'
You pointed to those friends in question: Somi, Karina, Giselle, Yujin, Yunjin, and Chaewon between others, who screamed their lungs off from your action, hyping you up.
'Because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do
He said I was the only girl but that just wasn't the truth'
You side-eyed him and then did the same thing with Yeji, who looked fastly to the floor, hiding her face and then looking away.
Everyone in the industry knew you weren't one to mess with, and yet, those two did.
This was just the begging of a long plan you made up to get your sweet revenge to the one who broke your trust and heart and the one who went along with it.
'And when I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'. But I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him'
You flutterer your eyes to the camera at the end of the lyric and the chorus started again, you repeating your actions from before.
[...]
"What do you want?" You asked when you observed him through the mirror
"What was all that about?"
"A song I wrote, why?" You asked, not even bothering to turn around and engage the conversation
"I know you wrote it" he rolled his eyes
"Did it touch you deep inside?" You laughed, still eating some snacks
"You shouldn't have done that. The France pictures? Y/n, that was risky"
"Risky?" You turned back this time "Fuck off, Hyunjin. Fuck you, and Yeji. Oh wait, you've already done that"
"Why are you not taking your makeup off?" He ignored your comment "You always take your makeup off after performing"
"Because I've got a date and I like the makeup" you smiled
"Oh, do you? Who is it?"
"Why do you care?" You brought another snack to your lips
"Is it Beomgyu?"
"Why do you care so much who's dick I ride?" You frowned
"You had sex with him already?" His ears turned red
"It's none of your business. Keep your dick inside Yeji and don't bother me."
"We were wasted, I didn't mean to do it. You know it" the man stared at you trying to hide his emotions.
"I don't care! You hurt me, Hyunjin. I was the one to find you two having naked aftercare. AFTERCARE. You don't do aftercare with a one-time-accidental hook up." You sighted for a moment "I won't fucking cry and ruin my makeup. Leave. Now." Your eyes were already watery as you tried to stop the tears
"I won't." He stood his ground in front of you
"Leave, they're gonna pick me up any minute and I don't want you here to ruin it"
"No. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to hurt you." he took your hand and you pulled it away quickly
"Don't touch me. My trust in you is broken, there's no going back" you denied as you took a few steps away from him
"Please" his eyes were the ones that were watery now, you could tell he was being honest, but you couldn't forgive him after what he made you feel.
"Y/ninnie, time to gooo" A voice cooed from the door as you froze
"Chan Hyung?" Hyunjin turned himself faster than ever, as his eyes met his leaders
"Hyunjin? I... I didn't expect you here" the older one blinked a few times as you observed everything from behind Hyunjin's body
"Hyung... What are you doing here?"
You thought that getting him back was gonna make everything better, but hearing the hurt in his voice broke you even more.
"Mate, I can explain" His leader walked inside
Hyunjin didn't even say another word, he just walked past his member, looking back at both of you, and left the room as one tear rolled down his face.
You felt how your world crashed inside of you. Turns out that getting him back was not what you needed, and just hurt yourself even more.
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bandgie · 6 months
Text
Agora Hills
Changbin x fem!reader
synopsis: You thought breaking up with Changbin was for the best, but he's here to remind you that's completely and utterly wrong.
warnings: MDNI 18+, suggestive themes, exes-to-lovers, rich!changbin, he's an asshole but means well, some angst mostly fluff, thats it lol
1.5k words
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It's not as though you hated Changbin, quite the opposite actually.
He's caring, sweet, and would rip the shirt off his back if you asked. He would treat you well, spoil you like a baby. He's really the whole package...all for one thing.
As sweet as he is to you, he's too snobby with other people. You knew he had money, lots of it. Anyone with that amount to their name can let it get to their head, but Changbin loved showing off how much he had. You couldn't do it anymore.
The final straw was when you were out on a double date with your friends. The restaurant wasn't up to Changbin's taste, and he made it very clear he did not like it to everyone. You tried to awkwardly laugh it off, but it was hard not to when he said, "This is why I don't like hanging out with the middle class, no offense. You guys just have no taste."
You saw red. Here was your boyfriend belittling the class your family has had to work their way into. With clenched teeth you apologized to your friends, broke up with Changbin, and had your friends drive you home.
It's been two weeks, and he's been calling you nonstop. Text after text, call after call, voicemail after voicemail. When you weren't picking up, he started sending gifts to your door. Jewelry, bouquets of flowers, clothes you knew cost more than your rent. Changbin had a habit of showing his love through materialistic ways, but it was getting annoying having to return them back to his address.
"You should ask for a car," your roommate chirps. 
You only rolled your eyes and groaned in return. You slumped further into the couch before burying your face in your hands. 
"You're supposed to be helping me," you say frustratingly. 
"I am," she protests. "Your shit car is breaking down, again, and you and I both know damn well your little sugar daddy would love to buy you a better one."
Angrily, you place your hands on the sides of the couch and sit up. "He's not my sugar daddy! Don't call him that."
Your roommate tsks and shakes her head, "Whatever. Have you called him at least?" 
You shake your head back, "I haven't spoken to him since that night."
"Well, maybe you should," she reasons. "Some guys need to hear it more than once, especially if you just up and left him like that. Who knows, maybe you can work things out too."
"I have," you stress. "He's just so...ignorant sometimes. And plus, I can't take him back after what he said to you."
Rather than seeming upset, your roommate shrugs. "I've heard worse. Plus I don't think he meant it in a bad way, like you said, he's just a little ignorant."
Her aloofness makes you both on edge and at ease. It's good to hear that she wasn't as offended as you thought she'd be, but her being so nonchalant about your situation is irritating. 
In times like these, you wish someone could just tell you what to do. 
"I say you call him," she answers your prayers. "If he's an ass, it only proves that you were right to dump him. If he's not, then you either owe him a better breakup or another chance."
Finding resolution, you stand to your feet and grab your phone from the coffee table. "You say it like it's so easy."
"That's because it is."
-
Changbin picks up on the first ring. Not that it should surprise you, but the rehearsed words die in your throat when he answers with an overly excited hello?
When you don't answer he prompts you again, "Baby...are you there?"
You can feel the way your heart clenches at the pet name. It's only been a mere two weeks since you've heard his voice and you're already wanting to cry. 
"Don't call me that," your voice is small. 
"Why not?" He asks. You can hear how shaky his voice is, but you convince yourself it's the static. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't have said that in the first place. "Are you not my baby anymore?"
You have to chew on your bottom lip and look up to the ceiling of your room to keep yourself from crying. A few seconds pass before you speak, "I dunno...Changbin you really...you really messed up."
"I know, baby, and I'm so sorry. I'm stupid. I hurt you and embarrassed you in front of your friends. I would do it over again if I could, baby believe me. We can fix this, I can be better. I love you, you know that."
He's right, you do know that. There wasn't a moment in your relationship where you doubted his love for you. Changbin has been a little snobby before, but that doesn't compare to his overwhelming adoration for you.
"I love you too Binnie," you sniff. "I wanna fix this too."
You swear you can hear him smile behind the phone. "That's all I need to hear baby. You mean so much to me that I can't even explain it, you know that?"
Despite the tears on your waterline you laugh, "Yeah I do Binnie. You mean a lot to me too."
Changbin laughs with you. "I miss you baby...it's so lonely in my mansion."
Whatever tenderness you had filling your heart dissipates and is replaced with agitation. "Jesus this is exactly what I mean! It's those little stupid fucking remarks that-"
"No! Baby baby I didn't mean it like that! It's a Doja Cat song-"
"-and here I was really wanting to make things work and you just-"
The two of you begin to talk over one another, the previous confessions nearly forgotten. It takes Changbin profusely apologizing and begging for you to stop arguing. 
"Over the phone isn't gonna cut it. I'll send a limo and you can come over. Please baby, we can fix this."
You sigh heavily and collapse on your bed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Okay."
-
No matter how many times you enter Changbin's house, if you can call it that, it always leaves you breathless. Polished floors, high ceilings, with chandeliers dangling up above you. It's clean, not a speck of dust in sight, most likely thanks to the many invisible housemaids. 
He had ushered you to his room, sitting you on his couch as he remained standing. 
It felt good to see him, even if you were pissed. He was as muscular as ever, a black tank top showing his pecs and arms deliciously. He must've worked out before you came, he tended to use the gym as a stress reliever. 
"There's really no excuse I have other than I'm stupid." Changbin starts. 
You let a small breath of air out that mimics laughter, "You don't have to tell me that.
Changbin smiles at you, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Yeah." He pauses. "At the dinner, I really don't know why I even said that. I didn't mean to hurt you, or your friends. It's was inappropriate and fucked up of me. We can go and I can apologize to them. Anything you want me to do, just name it."
Timidly, he gets on his knees between your legs and takes your hands into his own. "I love you. I love everything about you even if I complain like an idiot. I'm just not used to...some things, but I don't want that to be the end of us. I can learn, and I can change. Just don't leave me. Please."
God, if there's one thing Changbin is good at, it's begging. His hot breath fans over your bare legs, sending chills up your body. You can feel the heat of his body rolling off onto yours. He looks beautiful. His dark, messy curls that sit at the top of his head, the broadness of his shoulders, the way his lips pout. 
As big as he is, he's still a baby.
Your baby.
Gently, you untangle your hands from his, and his face drops for a moment. You quickly place them on his face, pulling him forward until his lips meet your own. 
Changbin squeaks at the feel of your kiss, but his initial shock turns into passion. He grips the side of your face with one hand while the other steadies himself on your knee. It's gentle, the way he pulls back for a moment before diving back in.
There’s nothing but love in his featherlight lips enveloping yours. All you can feel is him, his passion, his devotion to you. All the things he wants to say- no, he needs to say is conveyed through the kiss.
His hands snakes to the back of your head, pushing you deeper into his mouth. It doesn't take long before his lips don't feel like enough, and you're both opening your mouths to taste each other. 
It makes your heart swoon to know that he tastes the same. Familiar. Safe. 
Changbin grows bold, the hand on your knee moving up to grip the plushness of your thighs. 
"So, you forgive me?" He asks between kisses.
You pull back and pretend to think, "I don't know. Why should I?"
This makes Changbin smile, fully. "I can show you. Would that be better?"
The hand on your thigh inches to the hem of your shorts. The way his warm fingers caress your skin makes you involuntarily open your legs a little wider. 
"I guess that'll do for now."
a/n: this is a little different from what I usually post, but I like it. hope you do too! thank you @then-make-me for editing/proofreading!
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gamerwoo · 6 months
Text
Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Part Eighteen)
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Characters: Hyunjin x female reader (ft other skz members)
Genre/warnings: nanny!reader, ex-porn star/neighbor!hyunjin, generally inexperienced and painfully shy virgin!reader, fluff, humor, mentions of porn and sex work, hyunjin is stupid in love and also has a thing for tall girls (it doesn't necessarily say reader is taller than him but he does beg her to wear heels so interpret that how you want), hyunjin is very much not straight, lots and lots of flirting and teasing, mentions of kinks and stuff but no smut happens sorry <;3 (minors dni!!!)
Word count: 6,074
Summary: You think it’s luck when the new family you nanny for is so stupid rich that they rent you a fancy new apartment just so you can live closer to them. You think it’s luck when the guy across the hall is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your entire life and makes an effort to talk to you. But that’s just about where your luck runs out, because Hyunjin is more out of your league than you could ever imagine, and you’re just some hopeless virgin who never had good luck in the first place.
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He knew you’d have questions. Hyunjin expected nothing less, but you made sure to tell him you were curious but would only ask questions if he was comfortable with it. Considering you found out everything about him when he’d ended things, you never really got a chance to ask him anything. But he was 100% okay with answering any question you had, and he planned on being fully open and honest.
That first night that Hyunjin apologized, he was fully prepared to go home alone, but you told him he could stay. Even if you were mad still, you missed him. And that was where your questioning started.
“So then how did you get into porn?” was your first question, and it was the one he expected to be first.
He had gone to his apartment to change into clothes to sleep in, and the two of you were laying in your bed, inhumanly close. You missed each other and he didn’t know how to tell you that he still didn’t feel close enough even with your entire body on top of his without sounding weird.
“Changbin,” he stated simply.
“So you both got into porn when he said he was gonna do it?” you assumed.
He nodded, “I also really needed money, aaaaand I was basically going nowhere. I really liked art and I wanted to be an artist, but getting into that industry is fucking hard, so I just…went for porn. It was pretty easy for anyone to get into, anyway – at least in that area of Vegas. There were so many sleazeballs looking for amateurs.”
“So how’d it go in the beginning?”
“Honestly, shockingly well,” he scoffed. “I don’t mean to, like, sound like I’m bragging, but I kind of took off almost instantly. Directors and producers and shit were saying I just had the perfect face and a good body, and everyone wanted to have me in their videos. It was actually really overwhelming, but I needed all the money I could get so I just ran with it.”
“That actually sounds kind of terrifying,” you nodded.
“Oh, I think you would’ve gone into shock and died,” he nodded along with you.
You narrowed your eyes at him and he just grinned.
“Anyway,” you stated.
“Anyway,” he laughed.
“What about Changbin?”
“He was only a little salty that I was getting more jobs than him, but he worked his way up there. Plus, I paid most of our rent so he couldn’t complain that much.”
You suddenly realized something, letting out a gasp, “Wait, were you the mutual friend that got him and Kit together?”
“Yup.”
“What happened?!” you squealed.
“‘Kay, so as I said, I got popular fast. I caught the attention of bigger producers and directors who worked with bigger names. Big names like…”
“Kat Valentyne,” you finished, saying her name with pizazz and doing spirit fingers to really sell her porn name.
He laughed and rolled his eyes, his laugh making you shake as you laid face-down on top of him, “She’s been a big name almost since she started. Word got out to the people she went to school with that she got hot and was in porn, so it got spread around along with old photos of her, so it kinda made headlines online.
“But anyway, I got cast in a scene opposite her, and I knew–”
“Hang on a minute,” you interrupted him, and that was when he realized what he’d just given away. “So you mean to tell me that you fucked Kit?”
He was quick to point a finger at you and look you dead in the eyes, “I never had feelings for her and I still don’t. Never will.”
“No, Hyunjin–” you sighed and shook your head. “You’re telling me that you were mad that she only flirted with me and looked at me a certain way, but you already had sex with her?! That’s not even fair!”
All he did in response was roll his eyes before continuing, “Anyway, so I knew Changbin had a fat fucking crush on her since forever, so I figured I’d throw his name out there. I showed her a couple photos of him and she thought he was cute aaaaand yeah. Rest is history.”
“I still can’t believe you got mad when you had sex with Kit…” you mumbled.
“Are you even upset that I had sex with her or just that I got jealous over her?”
“I know it was your job,” you scoffed, waving away his concern. “I trust you. I mean, she’s also dating your best friend.”
“I also just don’t want to date her,” he added.
“But how come you get to fuck her, but god forbid she look at me the wrong way?” you huffed.
“I think it’s suddenly bedtime,” he told you before he pulled the covers up over your head, and then rolled over on top of you.
“Hwang Hyunjin!” you squealed between laughs.
“Can’t hear you, goodnight!”
-
Hyunjin wanted to do the proper thing: take you on a fancy date. And what better way to do that than using your ex-boss’ certificate to go to that fancy restaurant? It seemed like a very fitting way to celebrate the two of you making up.
Unfortunately, the only fancy thing you owned was your old prom dresses, so that meant shopping.
As far as you could tell, Hyunjin would be an expert at fancy. While you mostly ever saw him in t-shirts and sweatshirts – you had still seen him in other clothes like jeans, button-ups, and such – they were always expensive. So he must’ve owned fancy clothing, right? He must’ve known what rich people considered acceptable since clearly the dude was loaded.
You were pretty sure you’d never seen someone look so goddamn good in just some black jeans and a baggy button-up shirt with one half tucked in, but Hyunjin was just another level. You were wondering if he was even human, actually. Maybe he was actually an android or something.
“You’re staring,” he noted as you watched him brush through his dark hair before leaving the apartment.
“Yeah,” you nodded.
He just laughed, eyes turning into crescent moons.
You missed his smile.
While you were browsing through clothes at a store you felt far too out of place in, Hyunjin mentioned, “Pick out whatever you like. I’ll cover it.”
“Um, no?” you turned around to tell him. “You’re already paying for my apartment – which, by the way, still stop.”
“I can afford it, don’t worry about it,” he promised, waving the worry away.
Which then sparked more questions about him.
“Did you just make a ton of money back then?” you wondered.
He shrugged, “More than most. I did save most of it, but– …Actually, we’ll talk more in the car. I gotta take you somewhere for you to get it.”
“Get what?”
“It.”
You made a face at him and rolled your eyes before going back to looking at dresses, “So, uh…what’s considered…fancy?”
“Do you want form fitting or more flowy?” he asked as he started perusing the racks as well.
“Do you also want to pay for my shapewear?” you asked sarcastically.
He shrugged, “If you think you need it, I’ll buy whatever you want.”
You frowned, obviously not happy with his answer. But again, he grinned back at you.
-
Dress and shoes acquired, you were back in Hyunjin’s car, driving to an unknown location. All he’d said was, “I’m gonna show you something.”
You didn’t plan on getting shoes, but Hyunjin was quick to ask after picking out a dress if you had any shoes for the occasion. You’d said something about wanting to find just a cute pair of flats, but Hyunjin turned to face you with wide eyes.
“Please wear heels,” he begged, clinging onto your arms for dear life.
“I never wear heels,” you told him. “I’ll be too tall.”
“No you won’t,” he stated very seriously. “Wear. Heels.”
You did end up getting a pair of heels that you were totally not persuaded to get due to the fact you were very positive that Hyunjin found it hot when you were taller. As if he wouldn’t have bought them for you anyway because he liked how you looked in them. If the way he eyed you up and down and almost drooled on the marbled floor was any indication.
“Soooo,” Hyunjin began, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on your thigh, “have you ever noticed anything in my apartment?”
“Are we talking about the mirrors?” you asked.
“You need to get past the mirrors, baby.”
“So that’s a no. What was I supposed to notice?”
He chuckled, “Maybe something on the walls…?”
“Art!” you gasped, recalling the times you’d been over and noticed that large canvases were always evenly spaced across the walls of the hallway, and a few were put in his living room and his kitchen.
He nodded, “Very good. What about the art?”
“It’s…there!” you pointed out, much less enthusiastically. “It’s on the walls!”
Thank god he was stopped at a stop sign because he looked at you with an unamused look for a painfully long time.
“Hyunjin, when have I ever had time to sit in your apartment and look at the art?” you asked him, trying to prove a point. “We were usually in your bedroom, and even when we were on the couch, we were cuddling and watching something or laying down and watching something, or we weren’t even watching anything because we were doing other things!”
He scoffed with a wide smile and asked, “You can’t even say making out? You have to say ‘other things’?”
“What about the art, Hyunjin?” you asked sharply, wanting him to move on from the route he was about to take.
After a bit of laughing, Hyunjin replied, “Most of the art has the same signature.”
“That’s so interesting,” you deadpanned, still not getting it.
You also weren’t paying attention to where he was driving, but he finally pulled into a lot outside of what looked like another apartment building. He put the car in park and pulled out the key before he looked at you again. Again, he was unamused.
He eyed you up and down before noting, “You’ve gotten more sassy, huh?”
“I’m not trying to be, I just don’t understand!”
“Come on, babydoll,” he patted your thigh before he got out of the car. “I’ll show you.”
He took you into the building and into an elevator. You noted that he stuck a silver key from his keyring into a keyhole in the elevator, turned it, and pressed the button for the top floor. You and Hyunjin waited side-by-side at the back of the elevator. He was on his phone while you were watching the numbers on the LED screen above the doors.
“Have you talked to Kit or Changbin?” you asked him.
“They know everything,” he nodded, still not looking up from his phone. He assumed you were asking because you wanted to know if they were caught up. “I told them after you fell asleep last night.”
“After I was suffocated,” you corrected.
“Don’t be dramatic,” he scoffed, finally looking at you to smirk.
“Oh, says you of all people.”
“Touché.”
Finally, the elevator dinged, and the doors opened. The top floor seemed to be a penthouse, but it was all open space with large windows all on the back wall. The rest of the walls were exposed brick and covered in half-finished and fully-finished paintings. Scattered around the space were easels that either held canvases, white stained drapes, or nothing at all. There were a handful of stools around the area, and lots of art supplies. There were two large desks on either side of the room, with more art supplies and sketchbooks and canvases.
“Since we’re being completely open and honest now,” Hyunjin smiled at you, gesturing with an arm to the space while he guided you in with the other around your waist, “welcome to my studio. This is how I’ve made so much money.”
You looked at him, eyes bugging out of your head, “What, you’re some huge artist?”
He pointed at a painting that seemed to be finished, leaning up against the wall as it stood on the floor.
“There’s the signature. On most of the ones at home.”
You walked over and bent down to get a closer look. It looked mostly like a bunch of scribbles, but you could make out a large S and a large H.
“No offense, but what does it say?” you ask. “There’s no S in your name.”
“Sam Hyun,” he replied. “When I lived in Vegas, I went by Sam Hwang, and my name is Hyunjin. I combined the two.”
You turned around to face him again, head tilting slightly to one side as you studied him, “You actually do look like a Sam…”
He shrugged, “Thanks, I think.”
“It’s a good thing. Sam’s not an ugly name, y’know? You could’ve been something ugly like…Frank. Or you could’ve been a Kyle.”
He gave you a strangle look as he chuckled, “What’s wrong with Kyle? It’s a common name, no?”
“Kyle itself is a red flag,” you stated knowingly.
“Would you still love me if my name was Bartholomew?” he asked suddenly with a giggle.
“Fuck no,” you replied immediately.
“Just take a fucking guess what Changbin almost made his stage name.”
You gasped, “You’re kidding.”
“He’s so fucking lucky we went back to Vegas for our first auditions because he met one of my old buddies names Xavior and thought his name sounded cool, so he used that as his stage name instead. But he was dead set on Batholomew.”
“Why?” you asked with a disgusted face.
“His mind works in mysterious ways,” he shrugged.
“So…Kat Valentyne and Xavior…something?” you asked.
“Xavior Chang,” he scoffed. “He couldn’t come up with a second name but he didn’t want to copy me and use just one – even though I told him I didn’t think he was copying me, but whatever. But honestly, after the movie with him and Kit, she kept slipping up and calling him Binnie so now that’s basically all he’s known as now.”
You nodded slowly as you started to look around the large space. Hyunjin just stood and watched you, hands in his pockets.
“So…how did you come up with Sam Hyun?” you wondered. “Why not just use your name?”
“Because I was in porn and I was afraid of ever being connected back to it,” he explained. “Anyone could google my stage name and find out my real one. With being an artist, I wanted absolutely everything to be separated from what I was doing during the day. Nobody had a face to the art, either. Sam Hyun is untraceable. As far as anyone knows, Sam Hyun is my real name. Separate from Hwang Hyunjin, and therefore, separate from Jin.”
“So…you’re like Banksy.”
“Yeah, like Banksy.”
“So how’d it happen, then? The switch between porn and art?”
“I was doing art at the same time, but more as a hobby. I kind of gave up when it never took off. But one day, out of nowhere, I got really lucky. Something I made got noticed at a show by some big name and they offered a lot more than it should’ve been worth, honestly,” he laughed like he still couldn’t believe it. “That just kinda…put my name on the map, I guess. And once I had that break, I left the industry and focused full-time on this.”
A small smile broke on your face as you looked at him, “That’s kinda sweet. You get to do the thing you actually love.”
He nodded, “I got very lucky. Still am very lucky.” he added the last part with a warm, happy half-smile at you, just looking at you with the most lovesick expression anyone had ever seen.
You started looking around again, wandering between easels and canvases, looking around at everything Hyunjin had made. You never knew he could draw, but fuck, was he talented. It was mostly people and a handful of scenery pieces thrown in there, but everything you saw was so insanely good. 
You hadn’t noticed Hyunjin had wandered over behind you as you studied a seemingly random couple he’d drawn, their bodies filled in with a watercolor sunset, until he softly asked, “Do you wanna see something?”
You looked at him to silently say you were paying attention to whatever he wanted to show you, and he guided you over to an easel that was covered by a white drape. It was obvious that there was a large canvas underneath, but you weren’t going to uncover anything that was covered. That would be rude.
Hyunjin reached up to gently pull the sheet off so as to not knock over the painting. Your mouth fell open as your eyes widened in awe, seeing the portrait of you and Hyunjin. It was done in the same exact style as the piece you were just looking at – just the messy-on-purpose black outline from the shoulders up, and being filled in with warm tones that blended together – but this was very clearly supposed to be you and Hyunjin staring deeply at each other. Your lips were only inches apart as one of his hands cupped your cheek, looking at you with his signature smirk, but even in a picture, he was able to capture the way he looked at you like you were the entire universe. And you looked back at him in a way that very much mimicked how you looked at the piece: in pure awe. Your eyes were wide and your lips were parted, your hand holding lightly onto his arm just a couple inches down from his wrist. The colors used to fill in your bodies were similar to the first painting but the reds, yellows, and oranges were put in different spots. It was somehow more pleasing, but maybe you were being biased.
“The one you were just looking at was based off of this,” Hyunjin explained to you softly. “I made this one a while ago, but when things got…really shitty between us, I tried to replicate it to sell it. As you could probably tell, I gave up. Wasn’t as good as the original.”
“Holy shit, Hyunjin,” you breathed, unable to take your eyes off of it.
“If you think this is insane, you should see my most recent sketchbook,” he chuckled. “You’d probably think I’m a psycho.”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you realized what he’d said before, looking back at him, “Were you going to sell this?”
He scoffed, “Absolutely not. I was gonna keep it, but I like the style of it and thought it would sell well. But this is priceless – even if it’s half a self portrait.”
You frowned at him and lightly whacked him in the stomach, making him laugh, “You’re literally a God, you freak.”
“Yeah, well,” he sighed as he draped an arm casually around your shoulder, “you really are your own biggest critic. Drawing myself took the longest fucking time.”
“You definitely look at me like that,” you promised, pointing at him on the portrait. “And I definitely look lost all the time like that.”
“You’re not lost,” he scoffed again, rolling his eyes. “I’m literally right there.”
You started laughing, “That was stupid cheesy.”
“The cheese gets worse, don’t worry,” he promised with a smirk as he started to lead you over to one of the tables. He brought you to a closed sketchbook that looked much less beat-up than the other ones. “This is my newer sketchbook. I got it a little bit before I met you, actually.”
He gently pushed you forward to stand at the table and open it. You flipped it open and started going through it slowly, seeing him use different mediums to make different things. It was mostly people – people you’d never seen before, but a couple that you’d seen at The Brooke. But after about 5 pages, you flipped the next page to see you, holding a moving box. It was a charcoal sketch from your thighs up, and it was only somewhat shaded. But it was very clearly you, laughing as you carried the cardboard box.
The next page was you again, but from the side, and only from your shoulders up. Your expression was neutral and you seemed to be looking at something. The next page was, again, you, smiling with your eyes closed. The next page was you, and the next, and the next, and the next.
“I like to draw people that I see,” he explained. “Clearly, I saw you once and couldn’t get you out of my head. I’ve drawn you a lot since I’ve met you.”
You kept flipping, and every single page was you. But then you got to the last few sketches in the book, and you only looked sad. You looked disheveled or upset. There was even one of you with tears on your cheeks with your eyes casted down.
“I kinda never stopped drawing you,” he admitted quietly. “Even when I was mad at you, I still thought about you all the time.”
There were a couple drawings of you scattered in the sad ones where you looked happy again, and it tugged at your heart. Even when you were both upset, Hyunjin seemed to still think of you when you were happy, like he wanted to see it again.
The last 10 pages or so were still blank, so you closed the sketchbook again and turned to face Hyunjin, cheeks feeling hot from seeing how often he drew you. He could tell you were flustered and grinned widely at you.
“I’m pretty cute, huh?” he asked with a modest shrug.
“How come I never knew you could draw?” you asked him, poking his chest with your finger.
“Changbin and Kit have seen me doodle on stuff here and there, but they don’t know about all this,” he explained. “This is top secret. Nobody knows about it because I don’t want there being any possible ties between Sam Hyun and Jin, y’know? They’re both me, but nobody else knows they are. I want to make sure it stays that way. But since we’re working on honesty, I figured you’d be a good first person to tell.”
You nodded, “I won’t say a word.”
“I’ll make sure you don’t,” he promised with a mischievous grin before he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.
-
You’d never seen Hyunjin dress up before, but boy did he dress up. There was a lot of black, but a lot of chains and silver and mesh. Everything just looked expensive and extravagant, and despite having Hyunjin help you pick out what to wear earlier that day, you somehow felt severely underdressed beside him.
Despite that, the way Hyunjin looked at you made you feel like the best looking person at the restaurant. When you first got dressed and you were doing your makeup in his bathroom, he was sitting on the counter by where your makeup was spread out, going between looking at his phone and glancing up at you with a soft smile.
But when you put on the heels, he was gone. His eyes only left you so he could drive, but he kept stealing glances. He looked at you probably the way you looked at him. Like you were God and had descended down in front of him. You weren’t even sure if you’d make it to the restaurant because you were almost positive there were a couple times he almost passed out.
“You’re oddly quiet now,” Hyunjin mused as he looked over the menu with you – he had to help you with some things because you’d never had a lot of the food they offered. It was all fancy stuff with big words.
You glanced away from the words that didn’t even seem like real words to look at him, “What do you mean?”
“You’ve rambled off so many questions today and now you’re dead silent,” he chuckled. “Feeling okay?”
You felt your cheeks warm a bit as you mumbled, “I’m not gonna ask those questions out in public, Hyunjin.”
He chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Oh, as if anyone is listening to us. They’re all talking about business and nannies and vacations and shit that’s important to rich people. Dates are meant for talking to get to know each other. You should feel comfortable asking me anything.”
You knew he was right about dates being made for getting to know each other, but you still felt nervous to ask questions about sex and porn where people might hear it. What if some rich person overheard and thought you were weird and got you kicked out?
It took a couple minutes of silent internal encouragement, but you finally asked in almost a whisper, “What…kind did you do…?”
His laugh was louder than your words but nobody seemed to notice, “Both. Gay and straight. Does that bother you?”
You shrugged like he told you it was a little cloudy outside, “Not really. I mean, unless you prefer guys, in which case, that would make me kinda insecure probably.”
“My preference is you, dummy,” he told you with a playful smile.
“I meant…sex-wise,” your voice got quieter on the last word, which made Hyunjin laugh again.
“No preference there.”
“Okay, maybe this is a dumb question–”
“No dumb questions.”
“Sure. How did you, like…not fall in love with every single person? I get it’s mostly acting and stuff but that’s some serious acting. I would be convinced everyone actually loved me and cared about me and would catch feelings everyday.”
“I learned how to separate my feelings from my work,” he explained. “To me, sex was just sex, and my feelings were basically shut off when I was doing it. But that was only when I was working. It’s different with you.”
“We’ve never…done that,” you reminded him.
“I mean with everything else. We’ve done other stuff. Unless you forgot about that when we were mad at each other,” he smirked.
“Trust me, Hyun, I remember,” you promised.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his smirk growing and making you feel things you did not want to feel in the middle of a restaurant full of a bunch of important and rich people. “Because I don’t mind jogging your memory.”
-
Despite the first conversation at the restaurant, the rest of the date was the most romantic experience you’d ever had. You were starting to learn that despite Hyunjin’s line of work and claiming he could turn off his feelings, he was a true hopeless romantic – not that you didn’t know before, but now it was painfully obvious. He ordered for you, held open doors for you, and asked a lot of questions about you. The two of you had already caught up on new happenings since you last spoke, but now Hyunjin was asking you questions about your future. What field were you going to look for a job in? Have you considered going to school for something? How did you get into nannying in the first place? Did that mean you wanted kids?
You learned more about him, other than just his previous job. You learned more about his friendship with Changbin, his life in Las Vegas, and everything outside and in between. How he got out of the industry and how he found himself living at The Brooke and befriending the two bellhops who worked the night shift. More about his early life pre-porn and even some stories from his life while he was in that industry, but about stuff that was separate from it.
You felt like the whole time, his eyes never left yours. You weren’t even sure if he ever looked down while eating his food to see what he was picking up with his utensils, but his plate was cleared by the end of the date. 
To be fair, you weren’t sure of many things because Hyunjin kept refilling your wine glass whenever it was empty. He got some fancy bottle brought to the table in an ice bucket and while it was meant to share, you weren’t sure if he had any of it or if you’d drank the whole thing. You saw him with a glass but then you were too lost in his eyes to notice much else. When his stare got too much and you felt nervous like you had to look away, you looked down at your own food instead of focusing on whatever he was doing.
Back in the car, Hyunjin drove with a hand on your thigh and the other on the wheel. Despite your tipsy state and him teasing you about forgetting the things you’d done together, he was being a complete gentleman. The most he’d done was just then as his warm palm rested on the exposed skin of your leg. 
“I have a follow-up question,” you announced suddenly between Hyunjin humming along with the music.
“Yes, angel?”
“Can you elaborate on the ‘sex without feelings’ thing?” you asked.
He chuckled and glanced at you, “How long have you been thinking about this?”
“Just now. Just going over stuff in my head, y’know?”
“How much wine have you had, my love?” he continued to laugh.
“Whatever you didn’t drink, I did,” you stated surely.
After his laughter had died down, though, he replied, “The people I worked with, I never had romantic feelings for. When I was starting out, it happened a couple times until I learned. I had a couple…situationships, I suppose during my time in the industry, and I didn’t try to disassociate from my feelings because obviously they were supposed to be relationships. But with them, it always felt like they were trying so hard to make it like a scene that I just auto-blocked it all out anyway. It kinda sucked.”
Your eyes widened slightly as you looked over at Hyunjin, “That doesn’t happen now, right?”
“Absolutely not, angel,” he looked back at you with a soft smile before looking back at the road. “With you, everything is so much better than any sex I’ve ever had. Feelings really do make it. I actually get turned on and everything feels more intense. It just feels… I don’t know how to explain it other than everything is better because there’s feelings. I can’t not feel things for you, _____.”
“Awww,” you giggled as your cheeks began to warm. “Shut the fuck up, you’re too cute.”
“Not to say,” he quickly added, “if you did want to do anything a little…raunchier in the future, that I would hate it. I think in that case, it would be okay because the feelings are still there. It was just with those people, they made it seem like they only saw me as Jin and not Hyunjin, if that makes sense.”
You nodded, “No, I get that. That does make me feel better, though."
 The two of you fell into a comfortable silence for another moment until you thought of another question, shyly asking, "So, um…what’re you…into…?”
You could see the smirk growing on his face as the streetlamps flooded through the windshield as he drove, “I’ll do just about anything if that’s what you’re asking.”
“But what are you personally into?” you pressed curiously, though you were sure Hyunjin would be able to tell how flustered you were. “Like, if you didn’t have to worry about your partner.”
“Hair pulling,” was his immediate response. “I love having my hair pulled.”
You eyed his hair as it currently was. He kept it on the long-ish side and it was almost always half-up. Even in the one video of his you saw, his hair was at his shoulders.
“Yeah, that math adds up,” you nodded. “I think you like dirty talking, too.”
He let out a laugh as he glanced between you and the road, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
You were smiling, too, because of his laugh as you replied, “You would always talk a lot to me. You’re just really vocal.”
“You react well when I do talk to you,” he pointed out before he leaned over toward you, his lips almost brushing your ear. “You like the dirty talk, _____.”
A shiver went down your spine as he pulled away, and you were pretty sure Hyunjin noticed from the way his smirk widened and his chest quickly rose and fell like he scoffed. But he didn’t say anything about it, and you were too shy to confirm or deny. So he went back to quietly humming along to his music.
-
Both Felix and Jeongin were behind the counter when you and Hyunjin returned back to The Brooke. When you left that evening, it was only Jeongin who was punching in for work and making a comment about how dolled up the two of you were. When you came strolling into the empty lobby with your hands intertwined, Felix’s jaw was just about on the floor as Jeongin started smirking.
“Nice to see the two of you still look presentable,” the younger boy noted. “I thought for sure Hyunjin was gonna pounce at some point.”
“I don’t blame him,” Felix choked out a laugh as he started to regain his composure. “Either of you. You both look incredible.”
Your face had already been warm from the wine and Hyunjin’s compliments, but Felix made it feel hotter, “Thanks.”
“What’s the occasion?” he wondered.
“Make up date,” Hyunjin stated, stopping at the front desk to chat with them. “We went somewhere nice for free, thanks to _____’s asshole ex-bosses.”
Jeongin nodded, “You love to see it.”
“Now,” Hyunjin released your hand to place his hands on your shoulders, “I need to get this one to bed since she drank almost an entire bottle of wine by herself.”
“You kept pouring!” you insisted.
“But you kept drinking,” he countered with a playful grin.
“You can’t start gaslighting her when you just got back together,” Jeongin told him with a sigh and a shake of his head.
“But it’s official now,” Hyunjin pointed out with a wide grin that made his eyes crinkle.
Felix nodded in understanding, “Oh, then it’s totally okay now.”
“See ya later, guys!” he chirped as he turned you and started leading you toward the elevators.
“Don’t be too loud, please!” Jeongin laughed after the two of you. “I don’t feel like getting a ton of noise complaints tonight!”
That’s where your mind was, actually. Hyunjin had done this big gesture for you. He made an entire day out of it, too. He brought you to his gallery and showed you all of the art he made, and half of it was of you. He brought you shopping and got you expensive clothes and accessories for the fancy date he brought you on. This all must’ve been leading up to him taking your virginity now, right? Hyunjin definitely seemed like the type of person who wanted to make that something big and romantic and special. You half expected to go into his apartment and see rose petals leading to his bed.
Even if it wasn’t that far, he’d probably want to do something, right?
But instead, he stopped with you outside your apartment. You looked up at him in confusion, “Are we staying at my place?”
“You are,” he chuckled.
“What?”
“_____, it’s our first date,” he explained, still laughing softly at your confusion. “I’m doing things traditionally. It seems right. So you sleep here, I sleep over there, and I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
You pouted but mumbled an, “Okay…”
Did you feel disappointed? Kind of. But did you also feel relieved? A little bit. You were pretty sure you were wearing some ugly cotton thong you’d gotten at the department store, anyway.
Hyunjin kissed your pouting lips, which brought a small smile to your face as he beamed back at you, “Goodnight, _____.”
“Goodnight, Hyunjin,” you replied before turning to unlock your door.
And once you were inside, you had to call your friends to tell them everything.
————✧♡✧————-
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sniperct · 1 year
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Really didn't want it to come to this, but between moving, steph's eyeballs and the fact several hospital visits are now in collections, we're going to be rolling with a gofundme, probably going up (officially, as we created one when December went to shit but didn't publicize it as...well we're stubborn) tomorrow or Sun. Primarily to take care of some of the debt in collections and helping with the exorbitant cost of preventing my wife from going blind (and I have expensive physical therapy for a frozen shoulder on top of it), but we've also had to drain what we had in savings just to get a new place to live and I still have to figure out a solution for my work space.
Long story short, we lived in my mother-in-law's house, and she passed away. We're forced to sell the house to cover her debts and the mortgage and I have no idea what if anything would be left after being split 3 ways between three sisters (and we're hoping to sock most of that away towards buying a house later, as ironically it's so much cheaper to pay a mortgage than rent plus I’m so tired of living at the whims of other people). Finding a place has been absolutely horrible, and we have to pay 2800 for a deposit PLUS first month's rent. We'd thought it was just the 2800 to move in, but also paying first month's rent basically means we have no money to pay for help moving, (not even to rent a truck).
So anything that could help with the immediate needs of getting through May with less difficulty would be welcome as the first month is going to be tight.
https://ko-fi.com/sniperct https://paypal.me/sniperct  (pls ignore birth name lol)
This is just hospital bills, this doesn’t include what we owe for the eye procedures as I still need to dig out that bill. It’s at least 3000 for the eyes alone.
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ETA:
Thank you so much for sharing everyone!
Someone found the gofundme somehow last night and donated, which is amazing and I could kiss them.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-survive-medical-debt-and-moving
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kyluxtrashpit · 14 days
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So I really want to get another cat. Thing is, there’s several reasons why it’d be a good idea (boy has a playmate, I think my ideal number of cats is 2, and give a kitty in need of a home a nice one) but also a lot of reasons I know it’s not a good idea *right now*
First reason is I’m not sure I’m fully ready for it. There’s still a part of my brain that hopes that this new new cat (I’m gonna need another system when I do get one lmao) would act more like old cat and I’ve had enough pets to know that’s a red flag that means you’re not ready yet. It just leads to disappointment when your new pet doesn’t behave like the old one when they were never going to, every animal is a unique individual and no two will give the same experience even when they are similar. And I know this. But the heart still wants
Also two cats, especially when one is brand new to the living situation and is still adjusting, is more work than one and for several reasons my energy lately has been pretty low. So. Am I up for that right now? I’m not sure. I’m sure I could rise the occasion if it’s needed, but like. Would it be a good idea to put myself into that situation at the moment? I’m not sure it would be. Even if I do miss having two cats a lot
There’s also the matter of living situation. Last year I was hoping to move, as I’m getting to the point in my life where it is time to Purchase a living space instead of rent. Which is terrifying tbh lmao, but it is a thing none the less. Plus I just really want a bit more space at this point, and certain conveniences (oh how I long for my own laundry devices) that I don’t currently have. But with old cat, that just didn’t end up being in the cards cause my babies are always my priority above all else (the financial hit also didn’t help - I’m only just recovering from it now). I was simply not going to move while she was old and fragile and dying of cancer
However, my province also sucks! And it recently decided it’s gonna suck even more! Not as much as most of the US, at least not yet, but. It’s not promising. And the long term prospects are also Not Great (both in terms of social things and economically as well like, things are probably going to get worse long before they get better, if they ever do get better). And my city isn’t *the worst* but it’s more expensive than ideal. So it’s like. Do I want to buy a place here? I don’t know. But do I want to move out of this province? I also don’t know
Cause moving adds a lot of factors, even if I stay in the same province but look at a cheaper city. And leaving the province, okay, which to go to? This one’s nice but expensive and has weather I don’t like, and that ones cheap but also there’s a decent risk things will get worse there politically. And then there’s a risk the whole country will get fucked politically next year but I am doing my utmost to not worry about it until it is actually an immediate problem
And then there’s factors like, all the people I know are here (even if I’m bad at seeing them a lot). Familiar grocery stores and restaurants, other amenities, hell, my internet company is not fully national last I checked - will I have to switch providers? Work isn’t an issue as I work from home and we have people in multiple provinces, but like. Literally everything else is. I’ve lived here my entire life. I don’t know what it would be like to move that far. I’ve never done it
(And there’s also like. A sort of political responsibility. I read a lot after the shitty thing was announced and like. Some people are leaving. Some are staying because fuck you, bigots will not drive me from me home, I will fight back. Some are staying because they can’t afford to leave. And some are staying because if everyone who can leave does leave, then who’s left to at least try to fight this shit for those at risk who can’t get out? Especially as while I’m not in the demographic currently at risk, I’m in an adjacent one so it’s like. No, I’m not at risk yet but it’s possible I will be some day, but I also do feel some level of responsibility to try to help those who are currently at risk because I’m not)
And my dad is planning to leave (though unclear how firm that plan is right now and unclear exactly where) and is like ‘well come with me’ and I’m gonna be honest I. Don’t really want to like. I’m in my 30s. There is a part of me that feels like it’s time to get a bit more space from my family. My mom moved already for other reasons, so I don’t physically see her often, but technology is a thing so. Quite frankly my parents are both really bad at having friends so being literally the only person one of them knows in an entire city is kind of a nightmare scenario for me lmao. I need my space. I get annoyed when I get texted too often, I am NOT going to be your sole social contact. And I know that’s what would happen if we both moved to the same place with no one else. And even without all that, we have differences of opinions in “ideal place to live” so. I know they’re (dad goes by they/them) going to try to pressure me but if I’m sure of anything, it’s that I don’t want that
And, to circle this all back, there is also my kitty boy: he does NOT travel well. At all. He has panic attacks in the car that leave him panting and screaming within about 1 minute of being in there. We are trying to work on it, given transport is important for vet visits, but progress is slow. I was thinking he might have to get the old gaba just for me to be able to move within the city. He’s an anxious little guy. It’s gonna be tough for him, both the general realities of moving and the driving to the new place part. And I originally wasn’t really thinking of moving anywhere out of a 20 min or so radius of where I currently live partly for that reason
So to move to another province (and please remember Canada is Huge, like, this would be several hours or even multiple days of driving), I don’t know if I can even do that in a way that’s safe for him. Drugs are an option, but depending on where, it could be an unfeasibly long drive to do that with. And god, planes, I can only imagine how much worse he would be on a plane (even though I’d NEVER let him ride in the cargo, I’d buy an extra seat if I had to). He could have a stress-induced heart attack and die and if this is in transit, I’d be powerless to save him and I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing I killed him
And so with all of that, I’m like. I really can’t get another cat until I know wtf I’m doing and implement that because it would be awful for the new kitty if I got them and then immediately moved somewhere, either close or far. I can’t do that, it would be cruel. So like. Idk, I just don’t know what to do
I’m also aware that like. There are two problems in this ramble and the one I opened with is not really the larger one lmao but like. Genuinely I do not know what to do and that’s scary so I’m just kinda frozen here thinking how nice it would be to have a second floof gallivanting around the apartment but also knowing I can’t really have that right now (unless the cat distribution system decides to give me no choice in the matter lmao but I’m not expecting that to happen)
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naraven · 11 months
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Marlboro and a Can of Arizona Ice Tea
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hi so. this came to me in a vision
this is all platonic/familial btw! reader can be read as around 22-23 ish and haitham is in his late 20s, early 30s and sometimes people don't really like that kind of age gap plus i think alhaitham as a tired dad figure is way funnier somehow
this is pretty ooc!! not in the way he talks but like i lwk don't think he would act like this LOL to me these two are the family ever
tw / alcohol but its brief in the beginning, addiction to nicotine and specifically smoking, talk about reader gaining weight as a symptom of withdrawal, and general symptoms of addiction that might be triggering so please be wary!
wc / 2.1k
also this sounds really obvious but i don't condone smoking!!! i believe anyone and everyone is capable of quitting and living the best life they can without nicotine.
You need help.
Serious help? Maybe not at this point, but you can certainly see yourself in some deep shit pretty soon.
And it all started when you graduated.
Your brand new degree was fresh and crisp. You celebrate with all your friends, glad that you all somehow survived the four years up to that point. You screamed your head off when you partied later that night, alcohol basically coating your entire insides. Your liver would probably murder you before dying.
That was when you took your first cigarette.
Nowadays, it seemed that vapes and e-cigs were all the rage. You could honestly give less than half a shit. And really, you don't even remember who offered it to you. The white stick somehow ended up between your fingers and an outstretched hand with a lighter lit it up for you.
You took a drag, and coughed up violently. It tasted like filthy waste, smoke clouding your throat and building up in your lungs. Clouds of gray puffed out of your mouth with each heavy heave.
Somehow, you ended up burning through the entire stick. After the first initial puff, you went in for another because that was just embarrassing. Soon enough, the yellow end was all that remained in your hand. It felt almost electrifying, fueled by adrenaline and nicotine running through your body. Basically, you felt high on life.
Not wanting to ruin the fun with a fire, you escaped to a less crowded area and found an ashtray filled with other finished cigarettes. Your own joined in the dozens of yellow ends sticking up into the air. 
And then after graduation, of course, came moving out. Luckily you had planned ahead during your finals week while procrastinating and found the perfect place to live: a semi-decent two room apartment with affordable rent. Basically, the best place for a soon to be master's student. Undergraduate dorming would no longer be viable for you.
Waitering part time has left you with a pretty good amount of money, too. It would, for now, be able to support your new apartment.
So begins the current day you. Tired, stressed, and chronic smoker.
Ever since that party, you went out and bought a pack of Marlboro from the liquor shop that was about a block away from your apartment. It was tiny and smelled too strongly of gasoline, but they had Marlboro and Arizona Ice Tea. That alone was a good enough excuse to visit every free weekend you had. Which just so happened to be every weekend.
You paid in cash, with the tips that you would get at the end of every week. You would just leave your wallet at home, fish out $15 in cash, and leave with your phone and keys. The bare necessities, because you were semi-scared of being robbed for some reason. 
You swear the cashier at the liquor store has something against you. Every time you hand him the bills in your pocket you swear he's glaring at you.
It's whatever. You get your tea and cigs, he gets your money. Simple as that. 
You tip him every once in a while. You bring an extra dollar to the usual $13.86 you pay and slip the single dollar into the small glass case labeled "tips: thank you for the generosity!"
You never speak to the cashier, either. You only started talking to him because the cigarettes were behind him. The first time he spoke was when he scanned your items silently as the scanner beeped, said "13.86," and didn't even say have a good day. But you know what, good for him. Working with tough customers, you can understand some of the stuff he goes through. 
After that he never speaks to you again. He gets used to seeing you walk in and grab a can of Arizona tea from the fridge. He already has a pack of Marlboro on the counter by the time you're there.
And so life went on. Life went on until 6 months later, when on a particular Saturday evening you speak up.
"Can I have another pack?"
The cashier's face remains the same. He turns to his left and reaches for another pack of Marlboro cigarettes.
"26.73."
You brought your wallet for today. You were too lazy to calculate how much you needed to bring. Future master's degree student, everyone. 
You dig out a 10 and 20 dollar bill. You take the two packs into your hand while he still counts your change.
"You know smoking kills, right?"
You almost jump at the sound of his voice. He never, ever spoke to you. His words also, oddly enough, offended you.
"You work here, I'm giving you more money. Do you say that to everyone who buys a pack from here?"
You raise a brow as he hands you your change. He starts talking again when you open the small pack.
"Today's the only day I work here. You're also the only regular I see."
"Damn, part time only on a single day? Your day job must be nice."
You curse under your breath when you realize your lighter ran out of fuel. You sheepishly look up at the cashier who simply sighs, already hitting the numbers on the cash register.
"3.63.”
~~~
About a month after that, you started a small conversation.
"I've decided that I'm going to reform. I'm buying a vape!"
You refrain from laughing at the grimace on the cashier's face. His teal-amber eyes scrutinize you and he remains speechless.
"Oh, c'mon. I heard these are like a healthier alternative."
You inspect the pod as the cashier pulls out a pamphlet from underneath the counter. As you read through it, he explains what it is.
"A whole 20 pack of cigarettes has the same amount of nicotine in a single vape pen. Where did you even get your information from?"
You look at the infographic carefully, not hearing his words very clearly.
"No shit? I had no clue. Well then, I'll see how this peach flavored pen tastes, otherwise it's back to the classic for me!"
“Not so fast. Here.”
Before you can leave, he stops you in your tracks. The cashier grabs something opposite of his side of the counter.
“On the house. Slow to melt candy is another way smokers quit.”
A wrapped piece of candy is placed in your palm. You unwrap it and suddenly you feel like a child again. Sweet sugar coats your mouth instead of smoke, and you can kind of get behind this.
“No shit? I’ll keep that in mind.”
~~~
A month later, he's the one that talks first.
"On the house."
He hands you a blue package. Upon reading the big white letters, you see it's a box of nicotine patches.
"Are you… serious?"
You mutter incredulously. There's no way he was being for real right now. Yeah, sure, the nicotine was getting pretty rough by now, but there’s no way you look that bad. Right?
"I'm not taking this. Have it back."
He blinks, staring at the box in your hands. You glare when he does nothing to try and grab it.
"If you're worried about paying for it, I already paid for it. Take it."
The fucking audacity of this guy… You instead slam the box on the counter, since he wasn't willing to take it back from you himself. You could quit anytime, you didn’t need his help in this.
"I said I don't fucking want it."
You leave the store. In your rage, you don't even realize that you left with only your tea in hand, Marlboro left on the counter along with the nicotine patches you very violently placed down.
And so you suffer throughout the week. The itch for a hit of nicotine is strong, but you don't have the time to go out and buy one. Final exams had you studying for hours at a time without much time for anything else. And when you go out to eat dinner with a couple friends to chill before final exams really start going, you struggle to think straight and accidentally snap at a friend. You immediately regret it and apologize but you are clearly not doing ok.
You avoid going to the liquor store too. Partially because of the one time someone offered you help you pushed them away and it felt awkward just walking back like nothing happened and partially because, of course, of exams.
You can't sleep, and that barely helps with your appetite. Never in your life had you ever felt so hungry all the time. When you stare at yourself in the mirror, you very much look heavier and unhealthier than ever.
Exams pass. You can't say you're very confident that you passed any of them.
So you trudge your way back to the usual place for a smoke. You cough the entire way there, almost gagging a couple times before finally arriving.
Despite the distance being the same, the walk there felt so much longer. You struggle to breath at a normal rate and the only thought in your mind is getting a lit cigarette in your mouth.
You can feel the familiar green-red eyes on your back. When you open the fridge to the Arizona tea do you finally turn to stare back at him. 
Neither of you say anything. When you get there, the usual pack waiting for you is gone.
"Please just take this."
Instead, the blue box of nicotine patches is there. Replacing the usual gold and white box is instead something that you know you should have used long ago.
"...Why do you care so much anyway?"
Your voice is hoarse, and you let out a particularly nasty cough. You wince when your throat burns at the surplus amount of coughing you've been doing.
"Because you look about the same age as my students, if not younger. Someone as young as you shouldn't be suffering from this."
He crosses his arms. You open the blue box and pull out a patch that looks like a sticker. You like stickers.
"For now, peel one off and put it on your bicep. It'll last for about 24 hours. I'll send a couple links about what you can do afterwards. There will be side effects. Hand me your phone."
In a daze, you slide your phone out of your back pocket and place it on his outstretched palm.
"This is a timer. You reset it everytime you relapse." The cashier shows you the app he laid out on your phone. Oddly enough, you feel rather comforted knowing he's doing all this.
"You are the only person who can reset it. If you relapse and decide not to restart the timer, no one will know. The only person holding you accountable is yourself. I will not scold you for relapsing. It is very difficult to overcome any kind of addiction." He places the phone back into your hand and slides the blue box of patches towards you.
Wow, you weren't even sure what to say back to that. So instead you stare at the dual colored eyes of the familiar cashier.
"... Y'know, for a liquor store cashier you care a lot about your customers. I'll rate you 5 stars on Yelp. 'The kind cashier sabotaged his own business for a pitiful customer like me.'"
He looks concerned, brows furrowing. You wonder if you said anything to offend him.
"I don't care about this place. In fact, if it shuts down then it's all the better for me."
You blink.
"Huh?"
"I'm only working here because I owed the manager of the store a favor. If this place closes down I can focus more on my job and get a promotion sooner."
A moment passes before you let huff out a laugh.
"No shit? Whatever you say."
You realize you don't know this man's name. You've known each other for almost a year and you never bothered to learn his name.
Wow, it's crazy to think that you moved into your apartment a year ago. The complex felt more homely, and you could relax at home without it feeling weird. You felt a sense of belonging in this tiny cramped liquor store. You walked to and from this place so often it was basically a second home.
"Just stay safe and healthy. That's all that you can do for me at the moment." 
His voice was so… warm. You try not to cry as you feel the weight of his tone.
"Right, whatever you say. Also, I never got your name, cashier guy. Care to tell me who my nic addiction savior is?"
Maybe you joked about your situation a bit too early. But the cashier only places the blue box into your hands, wrapping his hands around yours to curl over it.
"Call me Alhaitham. Just trying to help."
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hyperfixatedbastard · 2 months
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A Quick Update
Heyo, I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on and what to expect from me in the coming weeks!
TLDR: I've got life shit going on and writing is not a priority. It will take me longer to post works than at the rate I've been posting (1–3 days). Thank you for the support! <3
The Long Part:
I started writing on this blog and turning it into an actual writing blog very recently. I'm on spring break at the moment, so I have more time and mental energy to dedicate to writing and posting new stuff within 1–3 days. Once classes start up again, it will most likely take me longer to write and get this stuff out. Luckily, most of my classes are fairly chill when it comes to the workload, but exams, papers, and presentations still exist and suck ass.
On top of being a full-time college student, i'm moving by the end of the month. We found out very last minute (renting, amiright?) and are now, quite frankly, scrambling to find a place and pack up all our shit. I haven't moved in a decade, and I was literally a child when that happened, so I'm going in blind here. Plus, we have pets, and I'm trying to rehome one of them, so that's just...a lot.
Anyways, sorry for the long post, I just wanted to let everyone know what to expect from me in the future! I will do my best to keep up with requests and whatnot. (Also, if you've submitted a request and are wondering whether I'm working on it or not, you can check my masterlist—I usually list WIPs there.)
Thank you to everyone for all the love and kind words! As someone who really struggles with consistently motivating myself to do shit, the support really helps! :)
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dazzle-writes · 5 months
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Can I have a romantic genshin male matchup plz
Gender: cis female
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: heterosexual ally
Zodiac: Capricorn
Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)
Mbti: infj
Enneagram: 2w1
Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)
Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself
Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)
Love language:
Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)
Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)
Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea
Is it possible to have a headcanon and a scenario (fluff) if not then I’ll just take a headcanon plz
Thank you
UWA HELLO FRIEND!!! I so sorry this is like......mega uber late OREFWFEWB I started college and two jobs!!!
ANYWAYS
You seem like a very cute and soft person to be around!! I think there are many Genshin dudes you would fit with, but in particular I can see you with Alhaitham!!! Even though he is blunt and can sometimes be manipulative (I.E. his quest SOBS), I think he would be a really good fit for you!!
-I think you help him break out of his laziness a bit!! He can be a bit of a drag sometimes if he doesn't need to do something.
-Reading dates reading dATES
-The kinda man to see you eyeing a book at a bookstore and sneakily buy it for you
-I think Alhaitham's love language is like.....being a sugar daddy BUT LIKE IN A PLATONIC KINDA WAY LMFAO. Like he lets Kaveh live there at his place and charges him rent to teach him responsibility, but he would honestly get whatever Kaveh needed. He makes a shit ton of money but only uses and portion of it and just banks the rest so he's like......why would I not use it on other people.
-I hc that dendro characters are naturally good with flora so he keeps peppermint plants around y'alls room to repel spiders for you
-This man is like the biggest haver of the Tism and has so many different texture problems so he understands being picky
-Will make jokes about you both being "top heavy" with a smirk knowing that if you ever tried to say that Alhaitham, scribe of the akademiya, made a joke about his man titties no one would ever believe you
-He is really affectionate in silent ways with you!! Also a physical touch person and he has no problems in just grabbing you up and carrying you to bed to cuddle and read in silence.
-Will rub your stomach to try and help with your abdominal migraines!
-Lowkey loves when you get him gifts and stuff bc he knows you much thought you put into it, keeps everything you give him!!!
-Enjoys watching you bake. Cannot bake himself. Cooking he is amazing at but baking? Homie just can't get it
-Kaveh is your fellow sweet tooth enjoyer, and see as he lives with Alhaitham he's like.....a bonus to your relationship
One day you came home feeling a little insecure, walking into the house with a quiet sigh. Your friends had said that they had never heard Alhaitham call you cute before like they always did, and it had begun to eat away at you. You quickly found Alhaitham, reading away at his desk.
"Um......Do you think I'm cute?" You asked, cheeks red with embarrassment at asking such a silly question. You almost were about to tell him never mind when he responded.
"Of course I do. I just don't infantilize you about it." He said, not even looking up from his book. He stood and held his book in one hand, and wrapped his other around you. "You are very attractive to me."
"Oh.....Okay. You just never say it....I'm sorry, it was dumb and I-" He cut you off with a small kiss to your lips.
His taller frame felt good as he hugged you close, and he leaned back to gently brush your cheek with his fingers as he closed his book. His gaze was always rather neutral, but he had the softest smile on his face as he looked at you.
"Do you need me to say it more? I don't mind." He said, nodding when you told him yes. "Of course. I think you are very cute, love. I love when you gasp with excitement when you read books. And I really love the way your cheeks flush when I compliment you in public. And when you get excited when you give me a gift. And when-"
He kept going, listing out everything about your personality that made you cute and lovable to him. He wrapped his other arm around you as he listen them off, only stopping when Kaveh banged on the wall in the room next to you.
"He's just jealous of me." Alhaitham said bluntly, kissing your forehead. "I'm financially stable and have an amazing girlfriend."
FGFUW I HOPE U ENJOY MY FRIEND AWAWA
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angelcactus · 2 years
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Pool Party
Ive had this idea in my head for a bit so here it is! The ending is kinda up to you! I just wanted to write about Angel being nervous about everything going right.
---
Angel had a mission. It was a very important and big mission. The mission? Successfully pull a pool party for the pack. They had been planning this party for 3 weeks now, it was a party for the pack; meant to take place 2 days before the sun solstice. They managed to convince David to rent out an indoor pool for an entire day, and he said yes! 
The closer the day came the more nervous Angel became. They paced, watching their phone, biting their nails. The entire pack was going to be there, plus Sam and two of Sam's other vampire friends. There was a lot riding on their shoulders.
“Angel, you are putting too much on your shoulders.” David said, sliding into the bed and opening his arms. Angel whined and fell into his arms, mumbling an ‘M not Davey.’ David rolled his eyes and held them close. “Yeah sure, tomorrow is gonna go great and we are gonna have fun before we feel like shit.” He kissed their forehead. 
“I know I ju-”
“Nope. You worked hard getting this done for us. Asher and Milo’s mates have things covered in case shit hits the fan. And you will look good in your new swimsuit. Wasn't that why you wanted this party?” David rubbed their arms. Angel rested their head on his chest, nodded.
“Yeah..” They whispered, snuggling into him. “I bought it to really see if you had self control, like you can see everything.” They laughed. David rolled his eyes and smiled, “I have self control, Asher doesn't.” He kissed their temple. “Now sleep, you have a party tomorrow.”
David was right. He was always right about logical things, he would be there in case something happened.
-
Angel and David went to the pool early to help set everything up. They met the lifeguards and went over rules, they were more lenient about them as everyone coming was an adult, besides the few pups. Babe and Sweetheart did show up to help out, setting food up and occasionally squirting Angel with a water gun to cool off their rising anxiety. 
The water was cold too.
5 o’clock struck and they felt a layer of sweat engulf their body. Everyone should be arriving soon and the truck for the vamps would be on its way back. Angel paced, biting their nails. David reached an arm out, stopping them from walking a path into the flooring.
“It's only 5, they'll be here Angel.” David said, turning them to look at him. “It's like the moon solstice party, remember? We are gonna have fun baby.” he said softly, holding their face and kissing it gently. Angel nodded, holding David's hands on their warm cheeks. 
“Hey guys party is starting, Amanda’s car just pulled up and so did Christians.” Babe peaked their head out of the entrance doors. Angel took another breath and held David's hand, “let's party Alpha.” 
More people packed (pun very much intended) into the indoor pool, the only ones left were Milo, Sam and the two Sam were bringing. Surprisingly Asher was decently on time. Angel’s hand never left Davids, squeezing it every time a person showed up. They swallowed the lump in their throat and patted the side of their thigh nervously. David greeted everyone and rubbed his thumb on the top of their hand reassuringly. 
The moment the truck pulled up Angel knew that the party was officially going to start. They took another breath as they listened to Sam and Tank’s playful bickering. Everyone was talking to each other like it was a moonbound solstice party, comfortable. 
Angel looked at David who nodded and helped them stand on a chair. He whistled and they practically laughed at how almost everyone perked up like dogs. All eyes were on them.
“U-Uhm hi,” Angel waved nervously “Most of you know me I’m-I’m Davids mate. I made this party for all of you guys because you work so hard and the whole… thing with the games… this-this is for you!” They smiled. “A few thanks I must give out is to Mr. Vincent Solaire and his partner for coming with Sam and to Elise, Janna and Grayson our water elemental lifeguards.” They pointed out the two groups.
“Another big thanks to David for renting this pool out so the vampires of our pack can swim without worry” They smiled, nodding to Sam who nodded back in return. “We have this pool until 11 so it's kinda free for all. Note the lifeguards will spray you with water periodically; it's definitely not the 12 water guns I bought.” Angel grinned, they got a few laughs out of that one. 
“Other than that, have fun! There's snacks and a small pool for the little ones- Asher I know what you're gonna say, Milo is an adult he can use the big boy pool.” They laughed, setting a hand on David's shoulder. David knelt down and lifted them up, arms wrapped around their thighs to keep them up high. 
“To the pack!”
“To the pack!”
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governmentissuedclone · 9 months
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6 years ago I dropped out of high school. I had a lot of fucked up shit going on in my life and it made finishing school just,, not an option. Abusive home, absent parents, severe mental health issues involving multiple suicide attempts that went completely unaddressed, working over 40 hours a week to help pay rent, parentification and being forced to take care of my sibling, taking drugs to cope, etc etc. How tf could I have been expected to balance a full high school workload on top of that??
It's not something I really tell people but it's not something I will lie about. There is a couple of people who know because it directly came up in conversation but most people in my life have no idea. When other people find out it always just sort of shifts the way they see me even if only a little bit. It doesn't matter that there was extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter how much I can prove how smart I am. It doesn't matter that I have put a continued effort into continuing my education in the past 6 years in a self directed manner in an environment I can handle. It doesn't matter that my life is fine without out and that they and I are in the same boat.
The second you have the label "high school dropout" attached to you they will see you as slightly lesser. There will always be a part of their eyes that sees me as 'that dumb broad that couldn't even finish high school'. The world has decided that I am of an inherent lesser value because of it.
I'm fine! My life is fine! I have a stable job, my own apartment with my partner, friends and family and pets. But there is always this dark fucking cloud that hangs over my head and every survey or job application or anything that I apply for exists to remind me of it. I would give anything to never have it and to have just finished school the first time around but that's not the hand life dealt me. I want this stupid weight on me gone.
I haven't gone back sooner because it took time to get my life into a more stable position. I didn't want to start the process before I was ready because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I have been thinking about it a lot lately and realized that I'm kind of okay rn and I would like to work on tackling this and getting it done. I haven't told anyone, not even my partner, and I initially had no plans to until I had that fucking diploma because I can't bear the thought of fucking it up again and everyone knowing I failed twice at smth that came so easy for everybody else. I want to be able to put that dumb piece of paper on my wall so I could point at it and go "look! Look what I worked hard for for 17 fucking years! I earned that!!".
And I can. I can enroll and start an ABE course in January. There'd be shit to work out but I have the option now. I'm so fucking scared. I'm terrified. Now it's real instead of pipe dream and all of that buried school anxiety is rushing back into my head plus every adult anxiety and stress I deal with on a daily basis. I'm fighting every instinct in my body that's telling me to bail and run away and keep the status quo. But I want to do this. I have to do this. For me. I don't have anything I need to prove to anyone. But I need to prove it to myself. But I need to remind myself it's okay if I fail. It's okay if shit happens and gets all fucked up and I can't finish it. My life won't fall apart. I have to at least try.
If you read this far and are in a similar boat of being a lowly little drop out I just want you to know that it's okay. Realizing that life is different for everybody and some people do things later and that's okay and you're not a failure is a hard thing to accept and I struggle with it a lot still and probably always will. There's a bizarre value people place on things like this all "oh you have to complete X Life Goal by X time or you're a failure who will amount to nothing and die!!!" But they're wrong. Every day of my life is proof they're wrong. My life is fine and stable and happy. But it's so deeply ingrained in our culture and society that it's hard to ever move past it. I promise you'll be okay, just keep on chugging 👍.
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mac-lilly · 1 year
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JATP fic ideas that live rent-free in my head
A compilation post to keep track of all the jatp stories that I will never write ...
Stuff I've actually written
Juke:
Juke Kitchen
Alone Together
Strumming the Soul
Beautiful
Willex:
Hotdog and Cold dog
Cross my heart and hope to die (again)
A night to remember:
Just one more night (Luke)
Tomorrow (Reggie)
Canon-Compliant (kinda)
The inevitabilities of (after)life
(Boys coming back to life but without memories - Juke)
After their performance at The Orpheum, the guys suddenly start seeing a magical light, and they figure it's time to cross over. Before they leave, however, Julie and Luke accidentally seal a magical pact with unfathomable consequences. (And they kiss.) And then the boys are gone.
However, a year later, just after coming to terms with the guys' departure, Julie's world is turned upside-down (again) when a very alive Luke suddenly reenters her life. And it's not just him -- Alex and Reggie are back too. But to Julie's horror and agony, all three have lost their memories. (And not just them. With the exception of Bobby, nobody remembers them.)
And so, Julie has to make a decision: Fight to unseal their memories or let them live their new-found lives without her?
It's an easy choice, really. Plus, she has to make her resurrected Phantoms stay alive. Because there's a series of uncanny and nearly fatal accidents that always involve her boys and, weirdly, Nick.
(There are 1.75 chapters of this on my PC.)
Ghost license
(inspired by the movie "Hui Buh" - no focus on romance)
The boys get tasked to obtain a ghost license for the Molina house. Otherwise, they have to leave the place and become wayward ghosts (and have to return to Caleb.) And thus, the Phantoms are forced to attend a school for ghosts -- exams included.
Random character stuff:
Julie's doodling
Luke's room
AUs
Songwriting Journal of Fate
(A Kimi no Na Wa AU - Juke)
Part I
Part II
Part III
Snippet 1
Snippet 2
Show me how to be whole again
An arranged marriage/enemies-to-reluctant-allies-to-friends-to-lovers Juke AU
Plot
BAM! I'm actually writing this one.
AO3 Link
Image Board
Sweet Home Alabama AU
Yet another enemies-to-friends-to-almost-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends&lovers Juke AU.
Teaser
First & Last Scene
"Life with Derek"-inspired AU
Teaser/Prologue
Rivers of London AU
Julie, a witch in training, and Luke, a ghost
Snippet 1
Snippet 2
Snippet 3
Phantom Thieves
(A Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne AU (without the religious stuff) - Juke)
Julie makes a deal with Caleb: She helps him collect/steal possessed artifacts, and in exchange, he'll grant her a chance to talk to her mom again.
At first, it goes pretty well. She steals the objects and hands them over to Caleb. But soon, she gets a rival. Another thief shows up, who is way too cheeky and attractive, and he starts snatching those items Julie is supposed to steal from under her nose. Julie is not amused by his attitude, and Caleb tells her that he probably wants to use these magical items for evil.
At the same time, Julie makes acquaintance with three guys who just transferred to her school, and she may or may not develop a crush on one of them. (And Julie can't help but see certain similarities between Luke and her new-found thievish rival ... but surely that's just a coincidence, right?)
Mind the Gap
(A Neverwhere AU - Willex & (minor) Juke)
Alex lives a pretty normal life. Sure, after he came out to his parents, he's become an outcast. But he's willing to put up with this shit anyway. (What are the alternatives?)
Then he encounters Willie, an extremely weird but also handsome guy who tells him that he is being hunted. Confused, Alex helps him hide. The next day, Willie is gone, and suddenly his life seems to vanish. His parents, his peers -- everyone seems to forget that he exists.
Determined to set things right, Alex sets out to find Willie, hoping that he (or the person he's running away from) has the power to give him his life back. He enters the World Below -- the place where all the people who've all fallen through the cracks stand. However, as he keeps gathering a group of unlikely and way too cheerful acquaintances who quickly become his friends (and more), he starts questioning his desire to return to the normal world.
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senorablack · 10 months
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yall when i say it's a fuckin struggle every damn time.
CW depression, suicide, drug/alcohol abuse, poverty, sexualized violence, fallacy of the american dream, first generation college student bullshit
Going to go way back because I want to and this feeling/story deserves some context.
I was a pretty shitty student in high school. I was constantly in school suspension, high/drunk, I stole shit out of peoples lockers. So I ended up in a continuation school or alternative ed. I swear to god if it wasn't for that school i wouldn't have done half the shit i did today.
Like the classroom size was about 15-20 students to 1 teacher??? and like, there was actually school resources for each student? like books were okay to take home, because they had enough for everyone. unlike my prev regular hs where books were only kept at school because they didn't have enough copies to give to everyone. and at this cont ed my teachers actually gave a fuck and they were all generous and invested and extremely encouraging in all our varying identities and expressions. there was cool shit they called "quests" where i was introduced to shit like the opera and hiking. i was a science camp counselor 3 years in a row because i fell in love with it. and decided oh yeah, that's exactly what i wanted to do. something with the environment and people.
so like from then on my teachers were like super encouraging and supportive (like bro, two of them drove up 6 hours to see me walk for undergrad), and were like yo, here is college that we think you would like (the camp director actually was a prev graduate) and i was obsessed. i ended up going to this program that allowed me to take college classes at my local cc while i was still in high school. dude, i ended up graduating early and with a few college units already under my belt.
my whole goal for the next two years was to get transferred to my school. and home girl did it. never thought i would have gotten that far. my parents didn't. i was the first person in my immediate family to go to college. and that meant something huge for me. anyway, somewhere along the lower division work i got more excited about anthropology. and transferred out and declared anthropology major with a minor in environmental planning. the first two semesters were rough. i was like barely holding on with c's. i made the realization in that first year that i was overwhelmed with school. like already burned out and got caught up in the university social life. of course i did what a lot of us do-- binge drink and missed morning classes and smoked a shit ton of weed (my college was pretty notorious for this).
i was just always sad from missing my family, hometown and in culture shock. because here i was, a brown person, in a white ass town. where the only places i could find ingredients to make my peoples food were on four shelfs in a designated ethnic aisle in my corner market or a couple of cites away at the specialty store. like you don't know the amount of micro-agressions i'd experienced during my time there.
and then of course i was sad because i was messing up school. and i got on academic probation. the next year i brought up my grades. one semester i started attending group therapy of survivors of sexual abuse and got involved with some campus events/programs that advocated for survivors and the ending of rape culture. this brought up a lot for me. and i fell into a deep depression. started prozac and i swear that was the reason that i almost committed (plus my nightmares and terrors have always been bad but they were never as bad as during that period). all this resulted in getting expelled.
i ended up finding really good friends there, one of which paid for my rent for 4 months before i got my shit together. i took a job at mcdonalds a city away, that i had to take a bus which ran at unreliable hours. and i made it work. took me half of the year to talk to a counselor at my school to see what i could do to get back to school. so i spent a semester at the local cc to earn qualifying gpa to get reinstated at my university. and was. from then on it was still hard as shit, but i was doing it.
but then i was realizing that the friends i made there were leaving/graduating (who were truly my anchors one of which passed away in 2022), my uncle, grandpa (my abuser), and aunt died withinn a few years of each other, and my job was stressful. school was A LOT. but the semester before i walked the stage i was on the fucking honor roll. like?????? and i had 2 core classes and 1 elective that i needed to finish my degree. so my family came up, my teachers came up. and my best friends came up. and like i walked and it was a good day. and then all i had to do was finish up the fall semester 2 core, 1 elective. but money was tight and my depression had me drinking and smoking more often. and i dont know, i fucked it up. failed that entire fucking semester.
and when i was out of money (because i quit mcdonalds to focus on school and was cruising on student loans), i had no choice but to go back home. i couldn't afford to go back to that cc and redo the whole reinstatement thing again. and i was tired. of school and my own bullshit and being fucking sad. so in 2015 i was back home.
honestly the lowest period in my life. never felt more like a piece of shit. and i felt a lot of shame for a long time. and i still feel it sometimes. when i go job hunting. because i have to put down things like "some college" "highest education: general education" "120 units"
took me a year to find a job. worked as a sbutt barista for 4 years before i said ima go into healthcare because i needed something different and stable. so i went to a vocational school for another thousands of dollars and earned a certificate to be a pharm tech.
though im very content with what im doing now. and proud of how far i've come. far and vastly different from what it might have been if i stayed in that regular high school, stayed in my hometown, did something like customer service or warehouse work like the rest of my family... i still feel that shame. i still have nightmares about missing assignments and being told that i cant come back and being late for classes.
and when i was applying for the job i just got, i had to put another unexplained and confusing answer to education history. and their HR just reached out to me today saying the couldn't confirm my background check for that school or even my community college. so i had to get transcripts from both. and i looked them over. and it made me feel terrible. terrible that i was so close but fucked it up.
made me feel like ....not smart enough or good enough. made me feel like a south side statistic (which is a loaded statement because of my internalized prejudice/hatred).
but theses are feelings and ideas and trappings i've lived in cycle for about 5-6 years now and i intend to let myself out of that cycle. i've reduced my drinking, rid my self of relationships that weren't healthy for me, up to date on my physical health, seeing a therapist, in group therapy, and taking medication for depression and anxiety.
so ima have a little cry. tell myself what i always do--
that was something that happened. it was sad that that happened. but i cannot change that it happened. i can only choose to continue to cultivate ways that will enrich my life. i am doing my best. i will continue to do my best.
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mythfunction · 9 months
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jack and i just signed a lease on a 350 sq ft studio 😬 🎉 ?
we were shooting for a 1 bedroom but it was getting daunting because we only have my income right now and a lot of landlords in chicago are really strict about the "your monthly income has to be at least 3x the rent" thing. which basically took us out of the running for all but the shittiest 1 bedrooms. i did swallow my pride and went to my lovely parents to ask them if they'd consider cosigning a lease for their 29 year old daughter, but that turned out to be a moot point because a lot of places don't even allow cosigners. (i do not understand how any college students are getting housing in this city then?)
anyway i'm actually really happy with the place! it has a dishwasher, which we had pretty much given up on before, plus a bike storage room downstairs, and a bunch of built in shelves and cabinets. OH and the toilet is normal shaped and has a tank--you would not BELIEVE how many places we saw with a horrible tankless toilet like the kind you see in a gas station bathroom. the public library is just down the street too. there are things i'm worried about yeah, but mostly i'm excited to have a place that's ours!
side note, from everyone i've talked to it seems like the rental market is SHIT in every single city right now, like worse than ever. if you're looking right now oh my god do i sympathize with you. it's criminal what landlords are allowed to do to people
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