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reashot · 11 days

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Red Like Roses... (It's period 🔴)

Warning: fluffness inside. Also really long.

At Beacon during a more peaceful time.

Pyrrha: Hmmm it's quiet, too quiet.

Ren: I agree. It's never a good sign. We should be ready for something.

Jaune: Ready for what?

Nora: Oh you know usually things never stay quiet for long especially when we're right next door to the main characters.

*yang burst into the room*

Pyrrha: And speaking of the devil.

Yang: Quick hide! *brace the door behind her*

Jaune: Oh Shi- okay gangs we trained for this! Quick initiate Pattern Delta Phi.

Nora: Aye, aye dear leader, let's initiate plan hiding under our bed's like cowards.

JNPR: *Bracing for Impacts.*

*Yang holding the door with all her might*

Ren: Wait what are even hiding from in the first place?

Yang: No time to explain. Here it Comes!

A large sounds resembling explosion came from across the hallway. The door starts to violently shakes and rose petals soon violently burst into the room. Even with Yang putting all her strength into the door. Some rose petals still managed to get inside.

Yang: .... I think we're in the clear now.

Pyrrha: What just happened?

Yang: Eh, promise not to freak out?

Jaune: Okay, I guess...

Yang: Good enough. *shows team JNPR the source of the roses*

Ruby: Huee~ *sniffs* huee~ 😭

Jaune: Ruby?

Ren: It seems to be her.

Pyrrha: Wait. Where are Blake and Weiss?

Nora: Found them. They're buried under all of this Rose petals.

Blake: *coughing up a bunch of petals* Eww I got some of it in my mouth.

Weiss: .... I just saw my grandfather.

Jaune: Okay, can someone now please tell us what is going on....

*Cardin burst into the room*

Cardin: Why the Fuck are there Roses all over the damn hallways!?

Russel: Don't try to lie we know it's coming from team RWBY!

Yang: Wow, wow! False accusation, much?

Dove: Well we can't help it. Because whenever something bad happened It's usually always you four.

Sky: Fucking Main characters shit...

Nora: I know right!

Pyrrha: Nora! Which sides are you on?

Nora: Oops my bad... (I mean, I'm not wrong 😒.)

Ren: *shrugs his head* Nora...

Jaune: Can all of you please stop being aggro for just one second!

You're upsetting Ruby for brother's sake.

Ruby: Wah! Wah! Wah! 😭

Jaune: Also can someone please tell me what just happened?

WBY: *looking at each others*

Yang: *sigh* (I guess I'm the one that should tell everyone.)

How do I gently put this? Ruby is in her special time of the month...

Jaune: Oh...

Cardin: The fuck does that even mean?

Russel: the month?

Dove: I see... (Maybe if I silently nod people will not think I'm dumb.)

Sky: (okay, she had her period. What does that have to with anything?)

Blake: Typical.

Weiss: Can you guys be anymore of a dudebros cliche?

CRDL: Hey!!!!

Yang: Let me put it this way. Every time Ruby has her "special month" her semblance's goes all haywire for some reason.

Jaune: Okay I get the gist of it. Team CRDL go outside and clean the hallway.

Cardin: What! Why the fuck should we clean up their mess?!

Jaune: Because I fucking said so. Now go!

Cardin: Geez... Whatever. C'mon boys, we better clean up team RWBY's mistakes. Again!

*slams door*

Blake: Thanks Jaune.

Weiss: Geez Arc, when did you grow a spine?

Yang: I gotta say Vomit Boy. I never knew you had it in you.

Pyrrha: *blush* (So manly.)

Nora: That's our Jaun-Jaun.

Jaune: Blake, Weiss. Please help Cardin & his team with the clean up outside.

Weiss: What! No way. Why should we help those dunderheads in the first place.

Jaune: Because they're right that the mess was started by your team.

Weiss: I'm sorry, our? For the record it's just Rub...

Blake: We're on it Jaune. C'mon Weiss let's help clean up all this roses. *drags Weiss away*

Jaune: Pyrrha, Ren, Nora. I also want you to go out side and help them.

Pyrrha: I understand Jaune. I will do as you ask.

Nora: Oh c'mon Jaune, why us too?

Jaune: Because they're our friends, Nora.

Nora: Well I'm about to go back to my room... *gets yoinked*

Ren: It's okay Jaune. I will get her to help us.

Nora: *grumble* (Fucking Main characters....)

Jaune: Thanks Ren. And Yang I want you to stay and find Ruby's "hygiene" products.

Yang: Wow, wow! Settle down cowpoke. I don't think you being a man is qualified to be the one to help with Ruby's "issue."

Jaune: I have seven Sisters...

Yang: Sweet brothers in heaven!

Uh, I take that back you're clearly overqualified.

At least I don't have to help clean up. But what're you going to do Jaune?

Jaune: I'm going to go back to my room to make a tea for Ruby.

A few minutes later.

Jaune: Here you go Ruby. A sweet herbal tea with plenty of honey and sugar.

Ruby: ... *sniffs* Thank you Jaune. 😢

*sips*

Jaune: It's okay Ruby you don't have to thank me.

Ruby: But I caused so much problems for everyone. *sniffle*😞

Jaune: *headpat*

There, there Ruby it's okay that what's friends are for. And you didn't troubled me one bit. In fact I'm happy to be of use to you. It reminds me that I'm still useful to someone.

Ruby: Jaune please don't think like that. You always were important to everyone.

Jaune: *kiss forehead*

It's nice of you think that Ruby. But I'm not. I'm not special like you. You're destined for great thing while I'm.... Just me.

Ruby: 0-0

Jaune: What's the matter... Ohhh, ohhh no. I'm so-so sorry Ruby I didn't realize that... I usually did that to my little sister whenever she's sad.

Ruby: *blush*

I-I don't mind it at all Jaune. It's just that if you want to do it to me again a little heads up would be nice. 😖

Jaune: I'm so-so sorry Ruby I promise that I... Wait, what do you mean by again?

Ruby: Uhh....

Yang: *clears throat*

I seems to have interrupted something here.

Jaune: Y-Yang!

Ruby: Sis!

Yang: Look Rubes I don't need to say this but remember what dad said. No boys. And Jaune please don't take this the wrong way but please for your sake please don't get any idea with Ruby. It will not end well for you.

Jaune: O-of course. I will never-ever think of Ruby like that. We're just friends after all.

Ruby: Friends... 😭

*starts crying*

Jaune: Oh, what's the matter Ruby?

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superiorsturgeon · 4 months

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Aura Training

Before class…

Nora: Woah! Nice marks, fearless leader!

Ren: Do you…want me to put on some cover-up before class…?

At lunch…

Yang: DAMN, vomit boy! Get it!

Weiss: Ugh…Jaune, if I were you I’d put on a turtleneck…

In the locker room after Combat class…

Cardin: Holy SHIT, Arc…! Nikos DOMINATED you!

Ren: I offered to apply cover-up earlier, but he refused.

Dove: What are you-WOAH!!! She got you GOOD, man!

Sky: I’m honestly kind of impressed!

After hours on the Arkos sparring roof…

Jaune: Pyrrha, are you SURE healing hickeys is a real aura control drill? Some people have been making fun of me!

Pyrrha: *comes up for air after administering another batch of hickeys* Well, how RUDE of some people! 😤

Pyrrha: …now go show everyone your neck again and see if they can see the marks! 😉

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #lie ren #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #cardin winchester #dove bronzewing #sky lark #arkos #jaune x pyrrha #jaune arc x pyrrha nikos

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lipeg · 1 month

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A portal opened in the middle of an alley.

Four young girls fell out of the portal and the moment they left the portal closed.

Ruby: We achieved!

Weiss: Wait, no is Vacuo?

Blake: It looks like the city of Vale

Yang: Is this possible, the city of Vale was almost completely destroyed

Weiss: Let's get out of this alley and find out

Everyone agreed with Weiss' idea.

When they came out of the alley, they got a big surprise.

The city of Vale.

Completely rebuilt.

Blake: But how?

Weiss: How is this possible!

Yang: Hey! Remember the city not completely destroyed but still

Ruby: It seems like the city has never suffered an invasion before.

Weiss: There's something wrong, very wrong indeed

Yang: What do we do?

Ruby: Let's walk around town and see if we can find anything

The girls started walking around the city. The city, even though it changed many things, was still identical before the Grimms attack.

Weiss looked at people and everyone was carefree and they were happy, what happened?

Weiss: There is something very wrong

Ruby: Let's go to Parker there was a big screen

Weiss: Do you think that is still there?

Ruby: It costs nothing to try

Blake: Let's go there first, then we'll go to Academy

Weiss: But wasn't Academy destroyed?

Yang shrugged his shoulders.

Yang: Who knows if Academy was rebuilt?

Weiss: I highly doubt it, I believe that the priority was to rebuild the city and Academy must have been left behind

Blake: Staying here arguing won't help anything, we'd better go and see about this soon and then see if Academy is up and running

Once again, the four girls headed towards a public park nearby, but along the way they noticed some different things.

There were men and women wearing blue and white attire, very reminiscent of the uniform of Atlas soldiers, Blake heard with his ear that these same "soldiers" are talking about them.

But they didn't do anything.

Blake “ there is something wrong ”

As soon as they arrived at the park they got a surprise.

A crowd of people gathered in one place and they were all looking in one direction for big screen.

Team RWBY looked at the big screen and them got a surprise.

The screen was showing a gigantic army fully armed and prepared for war.

On both sides of the screen there was a pole with 6 flags.

The flag that was lower was the flag of the White Fang which was more destroyed, torn, burned, holey and dirty.

On top of the White Fang flag there was a flag of Vale which was quite burnt.

On top of the Vale flag was the Mistral flag that had a huge hole on the flag.

And above the Mistral flag there was the Atlas Flag that had several holes and had a big hole in the middle but it still showed the Atlas symbol.

Above the flag of Atlas was the flag of Vacuo which was well burned, but the symbol, even though it was damaged, was still recognizable as the Vacuo symbol.

The last flag, the one that was highest.

An orange and white flag that had a crown and head of a jackalope who had big horns. The crown was between the jackalope's horns but was not on the animal's head.

Ruby “Why are the flags of the kingdoms like that? Where did that flag that's high up come from? ”

Team RWBY's attention changed and now their attention went towards the big screen.

There was a giant army.

An army larger than the Army of Atlas but much larger, proving to be the largest army ever seen.

But there were some familiar faces.

Cardin that bully was totally different, he was much older now he had a beard and slightly longer hair, he was wearing an orange and black uniform. He had his black mace being supported with his two hands.

On his left shoulder there was a kind of cape that only covered his shoulder, that had a half moon upside down with five stars on top.

Next to him was Velvet, that hadn't changed much. She also had the same cape as Cardin which only covered her shoulder and also had the same symbol the only difference was that the outfit and her cape were brown.

Next to her was Nora!

Nora had changed a lot, his hair was big, she was wearing pants too! But she still kept her skirt on, her arms were showing that she had those scars she got in Atlas. His uniform was blue with some pink details.

Her beloved Magnhild was upside down and her hands were resting on the end of the handle.

Next to her was her beloved Ren... Who looked like a real assassin.

If didn't his pink headband wouldn't be able to recognize he, his face was covered by a mask, his uniform was very reminiscent of his old outfit he wore in Beacon. He had it behind his waist.

Just like Cardin and Velvet, Ren and Nora had those capes on their shoulders with their respective colors.

Yang: Ren... Nora?

Weiss: What the hell is Cardin doing there?

Weiss had to control herself not to scream.

Ruby: Where did this army come from?

Between Velvet and Nora there was a door that opened.

Ruby's eyes widened.

Three figures came out of that door.

Jackalope, a creature with the body of a horse, the head of a rabbit and the antlers of a deer.

The second figure was Jaune.

But that wasn't the same Jaune that Ruby once knew.

He was totally different from before, he had a beard, your hair is long again, he was wearing more elegant clothes looking like a King.

On his left side was Neo.

Neo lost his long three-color head now his hair was short, she was wearing a dress and looked like a real lady she still had her umbrella.

Ruby: Jaune—

Soldiers: LONG LIVE YOUR MAJESTY!

Soldiers: LONG LIVE THE KING OF REMNANT!

Soldiers: LONG LIVE KING JAUNE!

The soldiers and public saluted the king.

Yang: Jaune?

Blake: A king

Weiss “ The disgrace aged like wine! ”

Ruby: Jaune... What did you do

#rwby #juniper #Juniper (rwby )#ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #nora valkyrie #weiss schnee #lie ren #cardin winchester #old jaune #jaune arc #Jaune King #neopolitan #jaune x neo #Neo queen

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rocknroll7575 · 9 months

Note

Volume 1 RWBY & JNPR VS. (No Helmet) Rusted Knight.

What will their reactions be to see Vomit Boy in Rusted Armor.

(Bonus: V1!Cardin Winchester VS. The Rusted Knight)

V1. Ruby: *Sheathes Crescent Rose* Jaune!? Why are you so old!?

Jaune (RK): *walks on the stage with his broken sword* It's a long story Ruby... one I don't think your ready for

V1. Ruby: Jaune...

XXX

V1. Weiss: *Uses Glyphs to skate onto the stage* Arc...? Impossible!

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* It's me, and yes, I am the Rusted Knight

V1. Weiss: The Rusted Knight!? But... how!?

XXX

V1. Blake: *Swings and lands on stage* Jaune!? You're the rusted Knight!?

Jaune (RK): *walks on the stage with his broken sword* I know, surprised?

V1. Blake: Yeah... all my fanfictions were about you!?

XXX

V1. Yang: *Lands on stage with her semblance active* VB!? What happened to you

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Life happened Yang, something that will soon hit all of you

V1. Yang: What does that mean?

XXX

V1. Pyrrha: *summons her spear and shield* Jaune? What... what happened to you...

Jaune (RK): *walks on the stage with his broken sword* Don't worry about me... its yourself who's in danger

V1. Pyrrha: What do you mean? Why am I in danger?

XXX

V1. Jaune: *Unsheathes Crocea Mors* What happens to us in the future? Do we get be heroes

Jaune (RK): *Walks on stage with Crocea Mors at the ready* If you call killing a friend for the greater good being a hero... then yeah, we're heroes...

V1. Jaune: *Shocked* Wh-What!? No! You're lying

XXX

V1. Ren: *twirls guns as he walks on stage* Jaune? What happened to you? Why are you like this?

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Because I failed Ren... I failed everyone

V1. Ren: Jaune...

XXX

V1. Nora: *Falls onto the stage covered in electricity* Is that really you, fearless leader?

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Who else could I be, Nora?

V1. Nora: What happened to you...?

XXX

V1. Cardin: *Slams mace on the ground* Arc? What the hell happened to you?

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Cardin? I never thought I'd be glad to see you

V1. Cardin: Can't blame ya, I was a jerk...

#rwby #rusted knight #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #nora valkyrie #cardin winchester #rwby x mk #mk intros #rwby vol1 #greenlight volume 10

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arc-misadventures · 2 years

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Loser Says What?

Cardin: Hey Arc; loser says what?

Jaune: I’m a worthless loser.

Cardin: What?

Jaune: I thought I was the loser in this not you.

Cardin: You are!

Jaune: Glad we cleared that up.

~~~

Nora: I don’t get it; he’s dating us, three hot badass huntresses and he still thinks so low of himself, why?!

Rin: We’re not dating Jaune, Nora?

Nora: …?

Rin: Y-Yet…

Nora: Damn right we will Rinny! What do you think Pyrrha? Pyrrha?

Rin: I think she’s about to beat Cardin into dust…

Nora: Oh… BREAK HIS LEGS, PYRRHA!

Rin: Yeah, pretty much how I though things would go…

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #nora valkyrie #cardin winchester #jaune x ren #ren x jaune #jaune x nora #nora x jaune #pyrrha x jaune #jaune x pyrrha #rwby nora’s arc #rwby arkos #rwby martial arcs

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doomatnight · 6 months

Note

So this is a bit of a specific request. What is one smut drabble you've wanted to write and haven't been able to write it? And would you please make the response that drabble?

Seriously it has to be the Bleiss x Cardin one. Like it just makes logical sense.

That or like a bunch of ideas I've never gotten to such as:

-Enabler: The whole joke is that Patch is Remnant's Alabama and incest is common there. Ruby and Yang start dating.

-Pa, Papa, Padre, Dad, Daddy, Father: Ruby with Qrow or Tai, Yang with Tai, Blake with Ghira, and Weiss with Ironwood.

-Schneecest Schneesome: Jacques gets put in jail and Whitley becomes the man of the house forming a tiny harem with his sisters and mother.

-Bellabondage: Ghira dominating Kali and Blake.

-Arc Harem: Jaune gets a harem but this time it’s all of his sisters (including Terra). Adrian might be his son.

-It’s a Branwen thing: Qrow and Raven then Raven and Yang. Bandits are something else.

-Nora's Arc: A one-shot lewd connecting to my main AU fanfic where Jaune and Nora enjoy each other after their wedding and make a baby.

-Holy Bun: Self-explanatory. Cardin and Velvet have hot steamy kinky sex. Could also possibly be like Nora's Arc.

-The Power of Tongues: Blake x Ilia. Self-explanatory.

-White Fang: Velvet, Sienna, Kali, Trifa, or Blake submit to human cock and become pets. Also Eve or femboy Adam.

-White Fang 2: Schnee Boogaloo: Adam, Banesaw, Yuma, or Ghira dominate the Schnee women and make them pets. Fictional raceplay, all the kinkiness without any moral questionability.

-Racism: Kali, Blake, Sienna, Trifa, Eve, and Velvet become Cardin’s pets.

-Oscar, Whitley, Jaune, and Ren become Good Girls: Jaune feminizes Oscar, Whitley, Jaune, and Ren.

-Rightful Heir: Cardin and the Schnee women.

-The NTR one: Cardin gets with Nora and Pyrrha and makes Jaune and Ren watch.

-Oscar and MILFs: Self-explanatory.

-Homo Homies: Jaune and Ren

-J and NR: Jaune bi fantasies Nora and Ren

-Head Master: Ruby subs for Ozpin

-Detention is a perfect title: Ruby subs for Glynda

-V8 but epic: Ruby subs for Ironwood

-Are you my dad?: Ruby subs for Qrow

and I know what you're thinking "Oh but some of these have Jaune in them. Yeah Yeah I don't really care. Those rules for this blog still stands but outside of this blog? My smut, my rules.

I mean I even have a two chapter Jaune x Ren fic on my AO3 (It's titled Flower Plower)

Why? Because fuck canon and fuck his fans, I will make Jaune the character I want him to be.

#lwde #rwby smut #rwby nsft #rwby lemon #nsft /#long post #doomlewd.txt

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densesindealer · 2 months

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Ask/Prompt Requests

Now that I finally updated my muse list, I'm going to ask or beg (take your pick) for more asks or prompts featuring characters I don't get to see as often as I'd like, or just some more for characters I really like. Also asking for asks or prompts featuring certain themes or kinks. You don't have to send in asks for the characters or asks with the kinks, though either would be greatly appreciated, but any ask in general is appreciated. That being said, I do really like these kinks or these characters and would love to have stuff in my inbox featuring them.

Kink Requests

Gender Transformation (Male To Female) (Can Involve Muses Not On My Muse List From Any Series)

Mind Control/Hypnosis

Slow Corruption

Mind Break

Instant Loss

Heart Eyes

Love Potion

Character Requests

Makoto Naegi (Danganronpa) (I Have A Lot Of Makoto, But He's Also My Favorite To Write)

Kaname Date (AI The Somnium Files)

Aiba (AI The Somnium Files)

Iris Sagan (AI The Somnium Files)

Mizuki Okiura (AI The Somnium Files)

Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia)

Momo Yaoyorozu (My Hero Academia)

Mt. Lady (My Hero Academia)

Nejire Hado (My Hero Academia)

Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney)

Ema Skye (Ace Attorney)

Trucy Wright (Ace Attorney)

Jaune Arc (RWBY)

Velvet Scarlatina (RWBY)

Johnny Cage (Mortal Kombat)

Cassie Cage (Mortal Kombat)

Kitana (Mortal Kombat)

Dick Grayson/Robin (Teen Titans)

Komand'r/Blackfire (Teen Titans)

Raven (Teen Titans)

Ganyu (Genshin Impact)

Yoimiya (Genshin Impact)

D.VA (Overwatch)

Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass)

Cornelia li Britannia (Code Geass)

Muffet (Undertale)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)

Audrey Belrose (Huniepop)

Yu Narukami (Persona 4)

Yukiko Amagi (Persona 4)

Akira Kurusu/Joker (Persona 5)

Lavenza (Persona 5)

Sae Niijima (Persona 5)

Hifumi Togo (Persona 5)

Sigma Klim (Zero Escape)

Clover Field (Zero Escape)

Alice (Zero Escape)

Ethan Winters (Resident Evil)

Eveline (Resident Evil)

Draculaura (Monster High)

Nezuko Kamado (Demon Slayer)

Faith Seed (Far Cry 5)

Velvet Crowe (Tales Of Berseria)

Alice Angel (Bendy And The Ink Machine)

Mavis Dracula (Hotel Transylvania)

2B (Nier Automata)

Lola Bunny (Looney Tunes)

Yor Forger (Spy x Family)

Anya Forger (Spy x Family)

Shaggy Rogers (Scooby Doo)

Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo)

Bowsette (Super Crown)

Booette (Super Crown)

Any Animatronic (Five Night's At Freddy's) (All Are Women)

Ankha (Animal Crossing)

Character Requests For TF Asks (Males To Transform)

Jin Kirigiri (Danganronpa)

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead (My Hero Academia)

Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic (My Hero Academia)

Fred Jones (Scooby Doo)

Lie Ren (RWBY)

Cardin Winchester (RWBY)

Liu Kang (Mortal Kombat)

Flowey (Undertale)

Riku (Kingdom Hearts)

Ryuji Sakamoto (Persona 5)

Yusuke Kitagawa (Persona 5)

Morgana (Persona 5)

Sojiro Sakura (Persona 5)

Takuto Maruki (Persona 5)

Dio (Zero Escape)

Tom Nook (Animal Crossing)

#dense's thoughts #dense's desires

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howlingday · 2 years

Note

A good leader is one that creates situations where their followers can shine and do their best both in combat and out. Can I get a story showing jaune being a good leader and friend making sure RWBY and NPR shine and thrive?

"How's your day going, Jaune?" Ruby asked, carrying her notebook to the Leadership class they were required to take.

"Alright, I guess." Jaune sighed, rolling his shoulder. "I just got done being Cardin's punching bag again."

"Again?" Ruby asked. "I thought you guys made up."

"We did," Jaune answered, "but that doesn't mean he's going to hold back in his one-on-one's with me anytime soon. In fact, he'll probably hit harder now."

"Well, good luck with that." Ruby offered a sympathetic smile. "After this, I have to go get chewed out by Weiss."

"Really?" Jaune quirked a brow. "Why's that?"

"I got a C+ on my last class."

"But... that's good, right?"

"That's what I said!" Ruby exclaimed. "But it's not good enough for her! She says I should be getting straight As!"

"Well, she's not wrong," Jaune replied, "but then again, I'm barely passing, too. Not to make excuses, but I also have to help my team, too."

"Really? How?"

"Well, after this, I have to help Nora study." Jaune opened his notebook to reveal an Ursa doodle he made, with an X slashed over it. Underneath it was a large three, and to it's side was a four. "She learns a lot better with drawing and pneumonic devices."

"Numo-what?"

"Y'know, like, 'Reverse Aura'?" Jaune explained, "when you show up to a mission, you, 'Arrive, Report, Understand, and Attack,' which Nora is going to do when I show up for our study session."

"Oh, yeah." Ruby nodded. "But that's just Nora being Nora, right? I'll bet Ren and Pyrrha are easier to handle, right?"

"Kind of, but also no." Jaune chuckled. "Pyrrha and I are training every chance we can get, and she's constantly wanting to try new moves on me."

"Wow!" Ruby exclaimed. "I'll bet they're really awesome!"

"Yeah," Jaune scratched his head, "until I catch her off guard with something."

"Pyrrha? Off guard?"

"It's more common than you'd think." Jaune admitted. "But she's definitely tough, so I want to make sure she's at her best with everything."

"So long as it isn't Ren's protein shakes, right?" Ruby sniggered.

"Yeah, he's still working on their flavor." Jaune awkwardly smiled. "But he's improving, and with a little help from me, I think he'll be able to make something for all of us."

"Really?"

"Mhm." Jaune nodded. "And not just his meals. I'm also helping him with his endurance. I've been looking into stress relief to help him keep his energy while fighting."

"Do they work?"

"He hasn't passed out since the Emerald Forest, so I'd say it's good progress."

"Huh." Ruby said, as they were entering the classroom. "Neat."

'I wonder how I could improve my team, too.' Ruby thought to herself.

#rwby #ruby rose #jaune arc #my answer

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doomalade · 1 year

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Alright then

Here’s some of the RWBY smut fics I have formed ideas about:

I might never write these but hey man, fuck it

Family Bonding

Enabler: The whole joke is that Patch is Remnant's Alabama and incest is common there. Ruby and Yang start dating. Hella romance

Schneecest Schneesome: Jacques gets put in jail and Whitley becomes the man of the house forming a tiny harem with his sisters and mother.

Bellabondage: Ghira dominating Kali and Blake.

Arc Harem: Jaune gets a harem but this time it’s all of his sisters (including Terra). Adrian might be his son???

It’s a Branwen thing: Qrow and Raven then Raven and Yang. Bandits are something else.

RWBY: Amity but Horny

-Nora's Arc: A one-shot lewd connecting to my main AU fanfic where Jaune and Nora enjoy each other after their wedding and make a baby.

-Holy Bun: Self-explanatory. Cardin and Velvet have hot steamy kinky sex. Could also possibly be like Nora's Arc??

-The Power of Tongues: Blake x Ilia. Self-explanatory.

-White Fang: Ilia, Sienna, Kali, Trifa, or Blake submit to human cock and become pets. That or femboy Adam.

-White Fang 2: Schnee Boogaloo: Adam, Banesaw, Yuma, or Ghira dominate the Schnee women and make them pets. Fictional raceplay, all the kinkiness without immediate moral questionability. (Okay look, it’s a lot deeper of a topic than that and I have been wanting to make posts outside of RWBY stuff that’s just like my views on the world)

-Racism: Ilia, Blake, or/and Velvet become Cardin’s pets.

Cardinposting

-Oscar, Whitley, Jaune, and Ren become Good Girls: Jaune feminizes Oscar, Whitley, Jaune, and Ren.

-Rightful Heir: Cardin and the Schnee women.

-The NTR one: Cardin gets with Nora and Pyrrha and makes Jaune and Ren watch.

Oscar Gets Milk

Oscar and a harem of MILFs. Self explanatory.

#rwby smut #lwde #smut fic #rwby #don’t blame me blame the poll #mature #dead dove do not eat

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kitkatopinions · 2 years

Note

How about Purrha for the ask game?

Alrighty, so I wrote out a response to this and then it got deleted. So... Pyrrha x Ruby aka Purrha for the shipping ask game take two! Also it's worth noting that I'm writing this with volumes 1-5 Blake in mind, not volume 6-8 Blek.

What I think works about the ship: Pyrrha and Blake have a lot of similarities, they both have the ultimate goal of helping people and changing the world for the better, they're both the type to be willing to sacrifice for the greater good, and they're both the most mature people in their respective teams. But they have some differences too, like Pyrrha being more of a follower and Blake having some strong leader qualities, and Pyrrha being more open and friendly and quick to see the best in people while Blake is more quiet, contained, and hesitant with people. Pyrrha is also one of the few non-Faunus characters who ever stood up for the Faunus pre-volume six, and is still one of the only ones who's stood up for the Faunus without also having done something anti-Faunus too. I always prefer shipping Blake with people who haven't been super ignorant. On top of that, I feel like Blake is primed to actually be the one who treats Pyrrha normally instead of putting her on a pedestal (since you know, Jaune does put her on a pedestal which is why she starts telling him she doesn't like that.) Unlike some of the others, Blake doesn't seem to idolize the Hunters or treat them like the end all be all, so Pyrrha being the Super Huntress of the future probably wouldn't impress her all that much, and Pyrrha's power probably wouldn't take her by surprise considering that Blake actually seemed to have real experience with graduated fighters. I feel like I could see someone talking about all of Pyrrha accomplishments and Blake would just be like 'Cool. So anyway-'

What season I think they were best in: Probably season one, since sitting together and correcting Cardin together is about as close as they get to a real conversation as far as I remember.

How I would get them together in canon: This would take resurrecting Pyrrha, but if I had to do it, I'd have Pyrrha get resurrected and immediately notice how much Blake has changed. They'd talk, Blake would confide in her about feeling conflicted and struggling to balance being there for Yang with being herself, while Pyrrha struggled to adjust to life now that she'd missed two years of it. They'd start developing feelings for each other, but be very hesitant to act on them, and Blake would be really confused over how she feels. But eventually, she would accept that her feelings have changed, break things off with Yang (despite the fact that they aren't officially together anyway,) and start to be more open about her feelings for Pyrrha.

How I would get them together in an AU or re-write: I would have Blake and Pyrrha start spending some time together after the Cardin situation, with Blake feeling more comfortable with Pyrrha than most people since Pyrrha at least did the bare minimum and stood up for the Faunus, and Pyrrha seeking out Blake when she needs someone who can just treat her normally. I'd have Blake pretty much replace Jaune as the one Pyrrha tries to vaguely confide when she's trying to decide whether or not she'll become the Fall Maiden, and have Blake there in the Vault. With Blake there, I think they'd be able to complete the transfer, making Pyrrha the Fall Maiden. Then they'd split off, Blake would have the confrontation with Adam and run, and maybe I'd kill off Jaune during the Fall in this AU, leaving Pyrrha to be the one traveling to Mistral with Ruby, Ren, and Nora. She and Blake would meet back up during the attack on Haven, start dancing around feelings for each other, and then officially get together while working as official Hunters in Atlas.

What struggles I think they’d have to work through: I love both Blake and Pyrrha when I say this, but I think their arguments would be even worse then fights between Pyrrha and Weiss would be. They both seem to put one hundred percent into what they do, and they're both steadfast in their beliefs. I feel like fights between them would get into deep, ethical territory, and their friends would always bow out because it gets way too deep for them. XD Also, I think that Blake would have a lot of trouble communicating, and Pyrrha would try her best to be patient and be there for Blake, but also would struggle to understand where Blake is coming from on some things.

Some songs that I can connect to this ship: The Archer, by Taylor Swift. Lonely For You, by Georgia Green.

Do I think they’d stay together: Tbh, I'm gonna have to say no. I think their relationship would be deep and intense and really meaningful for both of them. But maybe after five years or so, they'd just... Lose the spark, and decide to call it quits.

How I personally feel about this ship: This ship is really interesting to me and I like it, but I don't really feel like I ship it. It's just kind of interesting.

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idontknowwhattocallthisanymore · 3 months

Text

a just-for-fun rwby rarepair tournament poll featuring only my favourite ships. take two of round three because i accidentally managed to make the polls only a day long this time. sorry about that. im gonna do something for the winner. adorable art by @rubyneo

@rwbyrarepairs

#rwby #jaune arc #lie ren #cardin winchester #shipping poll #ship tournament #rwby rarepairs #rwby rarepair poll #lemon oreo #archester #lemon oreo rwby #heresy rwby #jaune x cardin x ren #polls #rwby polls #tumblr poll #links rarepair tournament

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reashot · 7 months

Text

Jaune Phone Call with Papa Arc.

Team JNPR Dorm Room.

Jaune: I'm gonna fail this assignment because my dad won't open up.

Ren: Me and Nora going to fail because our parents were killed because of a Grimm attack.

Pyrrha: Wow I didn't knew that Ren. I'm sorry to hear that. And are you doing Nora's homework?

Nora: Fo'sho. What? You expect me to do my own homework? Please think even less of me.

Ren: Look Jaune, back on topic. A lot of people feel more comfortable talking about personal things when it's not face-to-face.

Nora: Maybe you should try calling your dad.

Jaune: I guess it's worth a shot...

*ring* 🎶

Mistralian Restaurant.

Papa Arc: Hello?

Jaune: H-hey dad. What'chu up to?

Papa Arc: Eating lunch. I just needed a break from work you know. Lately I've been thinking about all the people I've had to kill...

God. The first, five, ten times you take a life it's eerie you remember every detail. I can see all their faces. One had a beard. Each time I pulled the trigger I tied a little knot in my memory no amount of whiskey could loosen...

Nora: *Scoots away from the phone call*

Papa Arc: Of course eventually I stopped caring. Now I can put a bullet through a man's head while figuring out how much VFC to pick up on my way home. It's usually no more than a bucket.

Pyrrha: 😱

Papa Arc: The sick part is I've come to love it. Snuffing out lives. I crave it. I feel like an angel of death, the messenger of eternal darkness, a merciless demon with an unquenchable... Oh! They just put more orange chicken on the Buffett gotta run. *phone ended.

Nora: *Hiding under the bed*

JPR: *Stunned in place*

Back in the Dorm Room

Jaune: I can't turn this in. It's all about my dad killing people.

*someone enters into the room*

Yang: What is this about killing people?

Pyrrha: Hey Yang, it's nothing we're trying to finish our assignment.

Weiss: I already finished mine ages ago. What took you guys so long?

Ren: We're trying to get Jaune's dad to talk about what happened during his time, but so far he's being "uncooperative"...

Blake: How is he being "uncooperative?"

Nora: *shivering* You don't want to know....

Ruby: Oh, maybe I can help you with your dad? 🙂

Jaune: *rub Ruby's head* It's okay Ruby. It's my assignment after all. You don't have to do anything to help me.

Ruby: *purr* 😸 (Oh yeah, that's the stuff... Run my head like you own me. 😚)

Ren: Call your dad again and get him to talk about something else.

*ring* 🎶

Papa Arc: Hello?

Jaune: Hey dad.

Papa Arc: Son, glad you called. I was kind of bumming thinking about your mom.

Jaune: W-what, why?

Yang: (Isn't she the hot one?)

Papa Arc: *sigh* I feel like our lovemaking has lost all its intimacy. We're not attuned to each other's love energy, we're just slamming away...

Jaune: Dad! I'm here with the girls on speakerphone.

Blake: (Don't interrupt him! 😾)

Papa Arc: Hey girls! So, Lovemaking sure can turn into sex without you even noticing it. And why not sex with your mom feels great!

*Team RWBY starts circling in to listen closely.*

Papa Arc: It's easy to think, maybe there is love and then there's the performer in me always trying to get your mom turned on.

Weiss: (Scandalous...)

Papa Arc: I pull her hair, choke her lightly or not so lightly.

Ruby: (I wish Jaune will do that to me one day.🥵)

Jaune: Dad! When you were my age. What was the cost of a loaf of bread.

Papa Arc: The focus becomes how hot she gets. How many times I can make her shudder with pleasure.

RWBY: *giggling*

Jaune: Allright this is enough... *gets tackled to the ground*

Ruby: Don't, disturb your dad! 😠 *gag Jaune's mouth*

Jaune: *muffled scream*

Yang: Dad. What do mom boobs look like?

Papa Arc: I'll tell you Yang they're perfect. Creamy, twins with faint blue veins running over them like cooling streams I can wash my face in it...

Yang: Oh that's hot.... *starts rubbing herself.*

Blake: Hmmph! You never get this hot when you're with me...

Yang: Really? Maybe I should change that then... *long sensual kiss*

So how do you like it my kitty cat?

Blake: ... It's a start. *return kiss*

Ren: Shouldn't we stop this?

Nora: What! No I say we join in and turned it into an orgy.

Ren: Wait, what? *gets mounted by Nora*

Papa Arc: Of course it still wasn't enough for the both of us...

Ruby: So Jaune... Now that everyone are enjoying themselves. Maybe you want to do it with me too? 😊

Jaune: Ruby I...

Pyrrha: You can't! b-because Jaune is mine... *kiss Jaune*

Ruby: *gasp* (How could Pyrrha NTR Jaune away from me? He's mine I saw him first!😫)

Papa Arc: ... And even then we still weren't satisfied. It got so bad your mom decided to bring another woman into our bed to spice things up, as she puts it. Oh, the looks on your mother's face as I plow the other woman in front of her. Turns out your mom likes to look.

Ruby: (Could that be the solution. Me, Jaune and Pyrrha? I mean I do find the both of them to be extremely hot... Ah, who am I kidding. YOLO.) Pyrrha. Can you let me join with you and Jaune? 😇

Pyrrha: Well since you ask nicely...

Jaune: Wait, what do you mean by that? Pyrrha, Ruby why are the two of you looking at me like that??! No, no, no, stay away!!!

Weiss:

(No one wants to be with me 😢)

Papa Arc: And that's why Jaune you probably have another half-sibling running around right now... Oh, you having an Orgy in there? Don't let me stop you, son. But do remember to use protection. Unless you want to have an unexpected surprise like me. But seriously use a condom or I will castrate you... Oops. Gotta go Jaune. My egg fooyong is finally here.

Beacon Academy.

Cardin: ... That's why my Dad walked out of his Dad's funeral & I will walk out of my dad's funeral!

Peter: Great presentation Cardin. Now Jaune you're up. Show me your report on your father.

Jaune: I-I'm sorry, Professor Port but my dad wasn't really willing to answer the questions.

Peter: Nonsense young man. I give you an entire week. What were you even doing all those time?

Ruby: More like what haven't we been doing? 🤭

Pyrrha: *giggle* Stop it Ruby, you going to get us into trouble.

Ruby: I can't help it Pyr. So. Same thing tonight? 😉

Pyrrha: Most definitely, we're not going to let Jaune get any sleep tonight. If you know what I mean.

Peter: Why if I don't know any better, I think you are trying to get out of this assignment?

Jaune: Okay. Is that what you think? Okay professor Port here we go.

*Walks up to the front of the class*

Jaune: *click* Hey dad, I'm calling in front of my history class. So who was the councilman when you were a kid?

Papa Arc: Oh, I don't know but I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not. What so great about living? You know when I'm happy? For about five seconds when I first wake up. Before I remember who I am and what my life is about. Anxiety, disappointment, diarrhea more often than not. I don't know if there's an afterlife. But who cares. Nothingness couldn't be worse than my meaningless March through my empty days.

Jaune: You see professor Port... Professor Port?

Peter: He's right, it's pointless, Salem will kill us all... Life Dismissed. *jumps through the window*

Nora: I guess class is over?

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superiorsturgeon · 2 years

Text

Team JNPR at the gym:

Pyrrha: Ready, Jaune? Make sure you keep your midsection tight!

Jaune: *balanced across Pyrrha’s shoulders* Got it! Let’s go, babe!

Pyrrha proceeds to do squats as Jaune counts and cheers her on from her shoulders.

Cardin: Seriously, Arc? You’re letting her use you as a training weight? You are such a beta male!

Jaune: Shut up, dude. This is Beacon. Every girl in this school can kick all of our asses and look awesome while they do it. Learn to like it or embrace the single life.

Nora: *bench-pressing Ren* He’s outta line, but he’s right!

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #cardin winchester #lie ren #arkos #renora #jaune x pyrrha #nora x ren

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tanakavox · 3 years

Text

Look into the multiverse chapter 3

hapter 3

Sorry this chapter took so long. To make up for it here's a long TFS chapter. Reactions done by my friend ExiledDarkness. Please check out his stuff. And I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner. Please Enjoy.

The screen shows Hazel and Cinder flying and landing on a plain of bluegrass. Cinder had horns and a tail. Hazel turns to look at Cinder, his eyes filled with determination.

"This is my people's sacred battleground!" He says, throwing his cloak off. Cinder stood there nonplussed.

"We flew over an hour for this!?" Cinder cried, her expression in disbelief. "It looks the same as everywhere else on this god forsaken rock!"

Yang leaned over towards her sister. "It does look like everywhere else." Ruby nodded in agreement.

Hazel glared at the woman and huffs.

"Racist."

Ozpin chuckled into his mug at the sight of a pouty Hazel. 'It doesn't fit him.' Entertaining the thought of the enraged behemoth (whenever Ozpin was involved at least) pouting like a child amused him.

Cinder grins a bit and closes her eyes.

"Well, maybe so, but I can't quite be a racist

against a race that doesn't exist!"

She opens her eyes and her smile widen. "Like the Clofors. Dirty, money-grubbing Clofors. Tried to Clorf me right out of my money. Blew those little bastards up is what I did."

Almost everyone blinked at the statement. "I-I guess she's not wrong?" Jaune questioned hesitantly. Cinder snorted at what her other said. Wasn't her fault what her other said was the truth.

Hazel let out a roar and landed a chop on Cinder's neck. Cinder didn't seem to be phased and continued to smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting." She grabs Hazel's arm with a sadistic grin. "Here allow me." And with that, she has torn Hazel''s arm off. He howls in pain as he clutches where his arm used to be, falling to his knees. Cinder smirks and drops his arm to the ground.

"Looks like someone's going to be missing this!" She sang.

"No, not really," Hazel replied casually as he stood up. Cinder eyebrow raised as she watched him scream out again, a new arm growing back where the one she ripped out was.

"Ooh! He can grow his arm back?!" Nora exclaimed in surprise. Her eyes gained a malicious glint. "I wonder if he can fix his legs if we break them!" Ren wisely said nothing.

"Ooh, that looks like it hurts a lot." She comments, seeing Hazel's heavy breathing. "Are you okay?"

Some of the audience looked towards Yang subtly before returning their attention back to the screen. Yang, on the other hand, had the urge to punch half of the people in the room.

"I'm fine!" He growls.

"Good to know. Yoinks!" She rips off his arm again and Hazel screams in agony.

The screen cuts to a spaceship. Sun is in a pod with wire attached to him, looking very beat up.

Those who knew of Sun winced at how beat up he looked. "Jeez," Yang exclaimed, leaning away from the screen. "What happened to him?"

"Maybe he took asking Blake out too far?" Jaune joked. Weiss narrowed her eyes at him. "Sound familiar?" She said.

"No comment."

Mercury, Neptune, and very young Oscar watch the pod filling with liquid.

Nora leaps up and points at the screen. "Hey look! It's Cute Boy Oz! But younger!" Oscar just covers his burning face in his hands. 'This is worse than my aunt showing everyone my baby photos!'

Oscar speaks first.

"So, what exactly is this?"

"It's a healing tank," Mercury replied. "That'll bring the idiot back to full strength.

"Heh heh, the bubbles tingle." Sun thinks to himself. "Heh heh ow. It hurts to laugh." He laughs and winches in pain again and again.

"It'll take a while though" Mercury states. "This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kinda an old one."

"What happened with a newer model?" Neptune asked.

"Blew it the fuck up."

"What did it have an opinion?

"Eat me. Now both of you" Mercury turned to the duo. "Strip."

"How old is the Oscar in this universe?" Yang asked glancing at the Oscar in the theater

"I'm not seriously gonna fuck this kid and Neptue guy am I" Merucy said horrifed.

"Uhm…" Neptune responded, looking very uncomfortable.

"I got body armor for you" The silver-haired man pulled out the armor.

"Less awkward," The brunette said relieved.

"Oh thank god." Mercury said relieved.

"Yes I'm glad nothing too vulgar came out of that." Ozpin agreed.

The scene cut to Oscar and Neptune putting on the armor. Neptune while putting on his armor turned to the boy.

"You know Oscar it just occurred to me."

"Yeah Nep?"

"We're still on Namek."

"What do you mean?" The boy asked

"Well, it feels like we've been here for like a year."

"But we've only been here for six days."

"I KNOW RIGHT?!" Neptune cried

Neptune looks down at his armor.

"Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy who Mercury landed with back on earth. What was his name?" Neptune turns to Mercury. "Hey Merc? What was that one guy's name?" Mercury doesn't answer at first and just stares at Neptune.

"Merc? Merc? Merc? Merc? Merc? Merc?"

Mercury grimaces as Neptune's voice and face started to remind him of an annoying partner he killed. Oobleck. He turns around and mutters," Goddamn it, Oobleck."

"I have to say, I think I'd kill him too if he were that annoying." Everyone agreed. Ozpin sighed as he took a sip of his drink. He, too, contemplated it every now and then.

"Oh right. Good old, Goddamnit Oobleck.

"Nep, We should probably focus on finding a way to use the dragon balls," Oscar said trying to get back on track.

"Well there is always Little Bow Girl, but…" Neptune trailed off.

"But what?"

"That's a really long flight."

"Really?" Weiss said, unimpressed. "That's your excuse?"

"Well, it could be pretty far?"

"Nep…"

"Plus I think I sense some hostility."

"Neptune!"

"Fine, fine I'll go get her." He throws up his hands in defeat "Enjoy your company."

"Try not to get yourself killed, God forbid you to make me happy," Mercury said to Neptune's retreating form.

"You seem to be in a bad mood."Maybe you should take a nap?" Oscar suggested to the older man.

"Maybe you should- eh actually, sounds good," Mercury said. He hadn't really slept since getting on this shithole of a rock. "You keep guard outside. Make sure not to go far, I like my meat shields in bullet blocking distance.

"I thought bullets couldn't hurt you?"

"Shaddup, I'm sleepy."

Ren nodded. Sleep was important and he didn't get enough sometimes.

The scene goes back to Sun still laughing and wincing in pain before he heard Glynda talking in his head telepathically.

"Sun! Sun, are you there?

"Oh, hey, Queen Goodwitch" Sun greeted his mentor. I'm in a healing pod."

"I noticed, I wasn't paying attention. What the hell?! She questioned the healing blonde quite frustrated.

Sun then filled Glynda on what happened. Mentioning the fact that he had to fight a really horny guy.

"Oh myyyyy."

'Pfffft'

The more 'immature' members of the audience spat out their drinks at the very suggestive response. "Hahaha, it hurts to breathe!" A certain yellow haired individual wheezed.

"Who's that Queen Goodwitch?" Sun asked.

"It's George Takei. Somehow we made this a three-way."

"OH MYYYY!"

"HA!"

"OH, it hurts! Make it stop!"

"CALL! THREE-WAY CALL" Glynda quickly clarified gritting her teeth in anger.

The scene cuts back to Hazel screaming in pain. A pile of limbs is on the ground next to Cinder, who continues to smile at a heavily breathing Hazel.

Ruby turned a little green at the scene while Yang whistled. 'Gotta hand it to them. That's a lot of arms!"

Jaune looked away to hide his smile as most of everyone else groaned. What? He thought that one was funny!

"How many arms do you think we're up to?" She asks him. Hazel doesn't answer or look at Cinder, still breathing heavily. "I think we're up to 24."

Hazel blasts her with a beam of energy..

"Tell me." Cinder begins as the dust settles from Hazel's attack, not seeming to take any damage. Have you ever heard of the planet Black?

"N-no?"

"Funny, Because I expected to hear the same from the next person when I ask them about Namek." She punches Hazel in the nose breaking it. "Oh was that your nose?" The amber-eyed woman mockingly asked."That was your noise!" Her grin widens. "I've had the worst time you know. It's not often I dirty my hands with this kind of grunt work. There is a certain satisfaction I get doing it myself."

Cinder agreed with herself. Salem also nodded her head at the line.

Cinder and Hazel began to laugh together. "It is kinda funny isn't it?"

"I'm laughing at something else" Hazel laughed.

"What?" She asked, still laughing.

"The earthlings have the password."

Cinder stop laughing. "What?"

"Remember the little girl with a bow you passed on the way to Ports? She's on her way to the earthlings with the password. By now, she's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon."

Hazel laughs as Cinder's rage grows, veins popping up in her head. "Yeah, if I had to guess your biggest mistake, it would be not stopping her!" Hazel pauses and gives Cinder a shitting eating grin. "That or your stupid hair."

"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!" She screamed.

"Whatever."

Cinder flew off leaving Hazel, checking her scouter to contract her soldiers. "Why aren't the ASBNs picking up! Oh, they're dead. WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!" She screamed in a rage.

The next scene shows Trifca flying to where the earthling was.

"STOP RIGHT THERE Namekian SCUM!" A voice called out to her. She screamed in terror. Neptune laughed at her reaction. "You should see the look on your face! Nah it's me Nep." started to scream louder. Nep chuckled at her reaction. "You're killing me, Little Bow Girl. Come on. We have to summon the dragon." Trifa continues to scream, much to Neptune's confusion.

Blake eyes widen at the sight of Trifa, one of the white fang members that tried to kill her and Sun.

"I wonder why she's screaming" Nora ponder breaking Blake out of her thoughts.

"Be funny it was because she found Neptune annoying." Jaune said, laughing a bit to himself.

The scene cut again to Oscar sitting around bored. He looks up to see Neptune and flies up to him.

"Wow, you made it back in no time flat!" He smiled at the return of his friends.

"Yeah, little bow girl was on her way back from guru's, She said she can help summon the Dragon!" Neptune said with a grin.

"Great! I'll get Mercury and-

"No, No, No!" Neptune cut off Oscar. That's the best part! We're not gonna tell Mercury!

"That sounds like a very dangerous plan that could easily backfire."

"Well, we can either take the wishes for ourselves or give em for Mercury. Neptune said. "And I'm not gonna lie. I don't think he's dedicated to Team three-star at all."

"Nep, I've been meaning to tell you. That name doesn't sound really good." Oscar told his older friend honestly.

Why didn't you tell me sooner! I thought it was stupid from the beginning, but nobody said anything!"

"Let's just summon the Dragon and go home," Oscar said exhausted.

"Yeah, fine whatever," Neptune grumbled.

The scene cuts to Mercury muttering in his sleep.

"First immortality. Then the bitches."

Select audience members except for Ozpin nodded. Sounds like a good plan. But Ozpin knew the truth.

As he slept the trio took the dragon balls and flew off.

"We did it, for real this time!' Neptune cheered. Now we just can have Little Bow Girl summon the dragon, and we can finally have our wish!

"Hey, is that Cinder?" Oscar asked, sensing the huge power coming towards them!

"...No." Neptune denied, his smile wiped off his face.

"I think that's Cinder"

"No, it's not!"

"Yeah, that's definitely Cinder."

Neptune went quiet for a second before screaming at Trifa:" SUMMON IT, SUMMON IT,

SUMMON IT! SUMMON IT!" Trifa in her native tongue called out for the dragon.

"Rise, Grand Porunga, and grant our wish!"

"Dammit, stop speaking gibberish and summon the-!

A bright light came from the balls and the skies darkened. The trio looked up and saw the dragon Porunga, in all his bluff glory.

"Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids," Neptune said gawking at Porunga.

In the same language that Trifa spoke Porguna started to speak.

"I am Porunga, Dragon of dreams, and I…" Pongurna stopped and looked at Neptune before turning to Trifa." Why is there an Albino Nakemkain amongst you?" The dragon asked. "I thought they were wiped out in the purge!"

"There was a purge?!" Half the audience yelled?

Blake's eyes twitched along with her Faunus appendages. "Just for the color of their skin?"

"Actually, they are earthlings," Trifa answered the dragon.

"God, they're ugly"

"And annoying," Trifa added thinking of Neptune.

Ruby huffed. "Well she's mean!"

Yang patted her shoulder. "There, there, Rubes."

"I think you look great!" Jaune said as Ruby's face turned her namesake color. Everyone looked at him. "What?" He asked, confused.

"Whatever. Let's get this over with. I will grant you any three wishes."

"All right, We can finally get our wishes!" Neptune said with a smile.

"The dragon says he'll give you three" Trifa relayed.

"Wait a minute, we get three wishes? That's awesome!" Neptune grinned. I wanna three foot_

"Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!" Glynda yelled in Neptune's mind.

"Holy crap, I can hear a voice in my head!" The brunette cried out in shock.

"Is it telling you my name is Trifa?" The Nakmian asked.

"Hush little bow girl. The voice speaks to me."

"Heh" Jaune says, "that reminds me of that episode of SquareBob SpongePants where they had that magic shell that knew all.'

"This is Queen Goodwitch. Wish these guys back before I kill myself."

"Wait, Can gods kill themselves?" Neptune ponders

"I'M ABOUT TO TRY!" Glynda bellowed out.

'Glynda, Glynda, Glynda. You can deal with all my paperwork, Port, Bartholomew, and I but three men want to make you end it all? For shame Glynda, for shame…'

"Alight little bow girl! Use our first wish to bring back our friends to life!" Neptune yelled out.

"Pongura can only bring back one person at a time."

"Oh" Neptune responded disappointed. "Queen Goodwitch she says, that it can only bring back one at a-

"I heard her!"

"Which means only one of us to get left behind," Ren said with a frown.

"Just wish me back," Jaune said.

"I guess we can ask Cardin what he thinks," Glynda suggested. Cardin opens his mouth to speak his mind.

"NO ONE CARES WHAT CARDIN THINKS!" Jaune yelled out.

"Wait, I'm dead?!" Jaune exclaims seeing the halo over his head. Ren frowns thinking the same.

"Forget that! Look how you're actually sticking up for yourself for once!" Yang laughs.

"Eww Jaune's green too!" Nora shouts. Ruby laughs and says, "it's like he's always sick or something!"

"Listen, if you wish me back, Then that wishes Ozpin's wrinkled ass back. Then you can use those Dragon balls to wish these morons back."

"Which leaves us with two more wishes!" Neptune pointed out excitedly. "Let's wish him to Namek!"

"Wait, what?" asked Oscar confused

"Wait for what?" Jaune did the same.

"Wait a minute! How are Jaune and Ozpin's life entwined? I thought it was Oscar and Ozpin?"

Everyone looks at Ozpin and Oscar. Oscar looks anywhere but at them while Ozpin gives them a deadpan stare and sips his drink.

"Little bow girl! Wish our friend Jaune back to life, and then with our next wish bring him to namek!

"Hold a minute that is terrible, don't do that that is a terrible idea!" Jaune said in a panic, but it was done late. He wasn't dead on Glynda's planet anymore. He was on Namek. Jaune screams in frustration at Neptune's stupidity.

"Wow, this version of Neptune is really stupid" Jaune says shaking his head.

Weiss nods and smirks. "Reminds me a little of you back at Beacon."

The children laughed while Jaune sank into his seat, depressed.

"He is on Namek." Trifa deadpanned.

"Wait, where he?" Oscar asked.

"On Namek," Trifa repeated.

"YOU DUMBASS!" Jaune screamed from the distance.

"Jeez Vomit Boy, you got a set of lungs on you" laughed Yang.

"Oh, you mean like you do when Bush your hair when you think your alone?" Jaune retorted.

Yang blush heavily while Nora gives Jaune a high five.

"Why didn't it bring him here?" Neptune asked as well.

"You must be specific"

"Oh, so it's sort of monkey's paw. You have to be careful with the hubris of your wishes."

Oscar said, letting his nerd show.

"NERDDDDDDDDD!" Jaune screams from a distance again.

"For shame Oscar, for shame!" Nora shouts. Oscar glares back. "That's not me!"

Ruby and Jaune look at each other, the same thought going through their heads. 'You mean you'd rather be stupid?'

The scene cuts back to Mercury sleeping near Sun's pod.

"I have to pee!" Mercury shouts out, waking from his nap. He runs to the bathroom on the ship but stops when he sees the dark sky out the ship's window.

"Jesus, I overslept. It's already night." For the first time, I got here…. On a planet with three suns." Mercury thinks to himself as an image of a clock rings in his head.

"Just give it a minute. He's almost got it!"

"OH YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!" Mercury screams in anger.

"OW, MY EARS! Jaune cried in pain."

"Swear jar!" Ruby shouts. Everyone looks at her with a deadpan expression. "What?"

Ren is the first to speak. "Ruby, you're almost 18. It's time to let the swear jar go—"

"Never! I need to get money from at least all of you once! I haven't gotten it from you or Nora yet!"

Everyone looks at Nora. She shrugs. "I don't see the point."

"So what do we do the third wish?" Oscar asked the group.

Well, if nobody else has any idea, I want my three-foot-"

"HI! WHAT'S UP, GUYS?!" Mercury yelled cutting off Neptune, a vein in his head.

"I'm never gonna get my hoagie." The blue-haired man said sadly.

The boys feel Neptune's pain while the girls except for Nora roll their eyes. It's a three foot hoagie, why wouldn't they want one!

"SO what're you doing?!" Mercury yelled out.

"What am I doing?" Oscar asked back scared of his mind.

"What're doing?"

"Nothing much.

"Thwarting my plans?"

"Thwarting your plans?"

"ARE YOU?!"

"Yes," Oscar answered bluntly. Mercury was taken aback before gritting his teeth in anger."

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Everyone whose name is not Ozpin starts laughing. Ozpin just chuckles. He did not snort into his cup of coffee no matter what anyone says.

He walks up to Trifa and grabs her by the scrubs of her dress. "But first, you are going to give me my wish for Immortality or I will snap her neck.

"Wait!" Neptune pleaded. She is the only one who can ask the dragon to grant wishes!"

"And I got nothing to lose!"

"Whatever," Trifa responded.

"Good answer! Now get to wishing!"

The scene cuts to Port with his really fat ass sitting on a chair.

"I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon" He mused. Would be a real dick move to die right." Port then decides to be a total punk bitch and stop his own heart.

Everyone blinks at Port being such a punk ass bitch while Ozpin just sighs. "Port would do that."

Trifa is in the middle of granting Mercury's wish but the dragon disappears and the dragon balls turn into stone.

"Is that normal?" Mercury asked.

"No. It's dead which means Port is, too." Trifa said, not seem to be really sad about that fact.

"I'm so sorry for your loss" Neptune gives his condolences.

"Someone has to be." Trifa mutter.

All the ex-students gave a moment of silence for Port. He may have been a blow hard as a professor but he was pretty cool in real life. Still went out like a punk ass bitch though.

"That doesn't matter!" Mercury shouted. "Don't you understand?! If it didn't grant my wish then I'm not immortal! And now Cinder is going to-! Mercury stutters a bit. Neptune turns around and begins to whimper.

"Oh nooo, don't mind me. By means" Cinder chuckles. "Give me some ideas."

"Does anyone else see the growing dark spot on Mercury's leg? No one? I guess it's just me then."

END!

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