#kendall door style

[hellaplastic]

Bathroom Kids

Mid-sized transitional kids' bathroom design example with white tile and porcelain tile, travertine flooring, beige walls, a single sink, recessed-panel cabinets, dark wood cabinets, a two-piece toilet, quartz countertops, beige countertops, a niche, and a built-in vanity.

#tileshop #crestwood #floortech thala 12x24 #american standard #kendall door style

[rosyrosethings]

Y/n returns after missing

Part 2

Part two

Overwhelmed by a maelstrom of emotions, Y/n barely recognized the sense of belonging that once pulsed in the walls of her home. The sanctuary she returned to seemed distorted through her tears, each droplet blurring the line between her expectations and reality. The first few hours of her return were a blur, spent in the throes of uncontrollable sobs, while her mother's soothing words fell like autumn leaves upon deaf ears. Her heart, heavy with an unnamed dread, had braced for impact, but not for the storm that was to come.

In the midst of her turmoil, her mother reappeared, bearing what should have been a gift but felt like a burden. "Y/n, honey. I’m back, and here’s your new phone. It has the same number as before, and all your messages and pictures are in there,” her mother's voice was a soft hum, a slight vibrato betraying her worry.

Y/n accepted the phone with a murmur of thanks, the cold device a stark contrast to her warm, stinging cheeks. As her mother retreated, closing the door gently behind her, respecting the privacy that she needed. Y/n was left alone with nothing but the glow of the screen. Notifications flooded in, a deluge of missed connections: over 500 texts, calls, and voicemails. Each ping was a reminder of the life that had continued in her absence, each message a plea pulling her back.

She scrolled through the messages, heart aching more with every word. Concern, confusion, and disbelief filled the screen until she stumbled upon Harry’s texts. She couldn’t — wouldn’t — let herself spiral further down that hole, not now. Her gaze caught Zayn’s name, and she clung to the change of focus like a lifeline.

Zayn's initial message was a beacon of normalcy, a reminder of plans made before her world turned upside down: 'Hey, when you come back from your trip, we have to go out and celebrate.' But the messages that followed were steeped in anxiety, ending in a raw, vulnerable confession: 'Y/n, I can’t believe you’re gone...I miss you. You were a really good friend to me after I left the band, and I feel I need you now more than ever before.'

With a trembling hand, she replied, a small smile ghosting her lips for the first time in hours. 'Idk if you have the same number lol. But Hii.'

At that moment, Zayn was entrenched in his skepticism, dismissing rumors of Y/n’s return as mere fan fiction. But then, her message arrived, coinciding with his discovery of a blog post that confirmed his worst fears and best hopes: “Y/n has lunch with Harry Styles and his new fiancée Kendall.”

The conversation that ensued was a dance between old friends, familiar and comforting despite the circumstances.

'Wow, looks who’s back like they never left,' Zayn texted, relief mingling with residual tension.

'Lol, I am back, and better... though I kinda wish I was back on the island right now. Instead of here, crying,' Y/n’s reply was a mix of jest and heartbreaking honesty.

'Ohh, I’m assuming you found out about Harry and Kendall,' Zayn ventured cautiously, the words hanging heavy even in digital space.

'Yea... I did, but it’s okay. The world moves on, Just everything is different,' Y/n texted back with a sadness that Zayn could almost feel through the screen.

Determined to lift her spirits, Zayn quickly changed the subject. 'Okay, how about you come here tomorrow? it’s a place with no parents or ex-boyfriends.'

'Sounds awesome,' Y/n responded, the simplicity of her message belying the gratitude she felt for this unwavering friendship.

'See, I haven’t changed. I’m still your good friend,' Zayn affirmed, his words wrapping Y/n in a comforting embrace, reminding her that even in the darkest times, she wasn’t alone.

***

The afternoon had waned into evening by the time Harry returned home from lunch, the atmosphere heavy with an unspoken tension that seemed to vibrate in the air. The house, once a haven, now echoed with an awkward silence that settled between him and Kendall, thick and almost tangible. Harry's mind was a chaotic whirlwind, the image of Y/n incessantly flashing before his eyes, refusing to fade even as hours trickled by. It wasn't a question of love — his feelings for Kendall were genuine, deep-seated — but since Y/n's unexpected reappearance, the dynamics of his emotions had shifted inexplicably, unsettlingly.

The nightly routine unfolded with mechanical detachment; Kendall slipped into her pajamas, the fabric whispering softly against her skin in the quiet of their shared bedroom. The bed, usually a place of comfort, seemed to loom larger and more imposing than usual, a battlefield on which unvoiced concerns lay in wait.

“The fans are going crazy since Y/n’s back,” Kendall broke the silence, her words careful, probing. Harry offered a noncommittal hum, his mind miles away, lost in memories he thought he'd archived in the recesses of his heart.

She exhaled slowly, a mixture of frustration and resignation, before climbing into bed. The sheets felt colder than usual. “Harry...you called her ‘kitten’,” she voiced out softly, the word hanging heavily between them.

“So? It’s just a nickname,” Harry retorted defensively, a hint of irritation lacing his tone. But Kendall wasn’t convinced. To her, 'just a nickname' didn’t scratch the surface of the significance behind it.

She turned on her side to face him, shadows playing across her features in the dim light. “You remember why you called her kitten, don’t you? I asked you years back,” Kendall mumbled, her voice a mix of curiosity and a painful sort of anticipation.

The memory surfaced effortlessly. “Yeah, I told you it was because she followed me home from school like a lost cat when she was 6 and I was 8...and since I love cats, she became my favorite kitten ever,” Harry’s voice was soft, the nostalgia evident in his words, his mind reliving a simpler time.

Kendall’s heart ached with an indescribable emotion. “And when I tried to get you a cat, you wouldn’t let me...” she recalled, the memory bitter on her tongue.

“Because it would make me think of her, and she was gone,” he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, laden with a sorrow that had been tucked away until now.

The silence that followed was deafening, the confession hanging in the air, a ghost of a past that neither of them could fully grasp. Finally, Kendall’s voice, small and vulnerable, broke the stillness. “Do you even still love me?”

Harry’s heart clenched. “Of course, I do, Kendall,” he reassured, reaching out to gently stroke her arm, an attempt to bridge the chasm that had formed between them. “Let’s just go to sleep.”

But as they settled into the quiet of the night, sleep seemed like a distant dream, the unspoken thoughts and feelings a cacophony louder than any spoken word. The presence of the past, embodied by Y/n, lay between them, an invisible but palpable barrier as they drifted into a restless slumber.

**

The golden hues of mid-morning streamed through the large windows of Zayn's contemporary house as Y/n pushed the door open. It was a place she had been many times before, yet the familiar surroundings felt almost alien in her changed reality.

Greeting her with a mischievous grin, Zayn's voice echoed from the sleek, modern kitchen. "You know we absolutely must throw you a grand welcome-back party, right?" He leaned against the cool marble countertop, watching her deftly maneuver through the kitchen, prepping to bake cupcakes.

Her eyes never left the mixing bowl as she responded, her voice laced with a touch of sarcasm, "Oh, absolutely not ." The rhythmic sound of the mixer blended seamlessly with her focused movements, the aroma of vanilla wafting in the air.

Zayn pushed off from the counter, approaching her with a playful determination. "Look, Y/n, you've returned from what the media is terming 'the great beyond'. They're portraying you like a lost, heartbroken soul. You deserve an evening to unwind, especially given the emotional roller coaster you've been on since your return."

Y/n sighed, sliding the tray of cupcakes into the preheated oven, her eyes reflective. "Alright, alright. I guess you're right."

His eyes lit up, an idea sparking. "And... we're inviting Harry. He needs to see just how radiant you'll be tonight."

She arched an eyebrow, feigning shock, "So, I'm not radiant right now?"

Zayn let out a chuckle, eyes raking over the oversized shirt she wore, now splattered with traces of flour and chocolate. "You look incredibly alluring in my shirt, not gonna lie. But the baking aftermath gives you a... more homely charm." His grin widened at her faux glare.

With a playful glint in her eyes, Y/n dipped her finger into a pot of frosting, deliberately hiking up the shirt slightly for effect. She slowly licked the sweet substance off, eyes locked with Zayn's.

Seizing the moment, Zayn whipped out his phone, capturing the candid moment in a boomerang for his Instagram followers. His fingers danced over the screen as he captioned it, 'Guess who's back like they never left.'

Curious, Y/n darted around the counter to peek at the post. Giggling at the image, she quipped, "I look like slut in your kitchen."

Zayn chuckled, "Let's hope Gigi spots this. She posted with some guy literally a day after our split."

Y/n’s laughter softened, her gratitude evident. "Thanks for lending me your shirt, by the way. Most of my belongings were given away, and my mom's wardrobe... let's just say, not quite my style."

He winked, offering her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, "Anytime, love. But we should start thinking about what you're going to wear tonight. It's going to be legendary."

**

The evening was draped in anticipation as Harry meticulously dressed in his finest suit, the fabric clinging perfectly to his well-sculpted frame. He was mentally preparing himself for the night ahead, a party thrown by Zayn, someone he hadn't communicated with in months. However, the image from Zayn's recent snap, showcasing Y/n in all her effortless beauty, lingered in his mind. She appeared as enchanting as he remembered, if not more so, and the thought of seeing her tonight set his heart racing.

Kendall's voice sliced through his reverie, "Where are you off to?"

"A party," Harry replied, his tone nonchalant but his mind far from calm.

Kendall, sensing an opportunity to bridge the distance that had grown between them, began to ready herself. "Well, you should've asked me to join. I can get ready in no time."

"No," Harry interjected, more sharply than he intended, "I need to do this alone. We could use some time apart, honestly."

Kendall's attempts to negotiate fell on deaf ears, her words dying in her throat as Harry’s tone escalated, "Enough, Kendall! I'm going alone." The absence of her usual endearments — no 'babe,' 'love,' or 'Kenny' — didn't escape her. His formality stung more than she expected.

"Fine. I'll stay back... make dinner maybe, for when you return," she offered, a final attempt to maintain some normalcy.

"No need," he responded curtly, his hand already on the door handle, "I'll be late."

"Okay... bye, love you," she murmured into the void he left behind, her words hanging heavy in the room. The door's slam echoed her solitude.

Driving to the party, Harry's thoughts were monopolized by Y/n. Upon arrival, he noticed the gathering was intimate, 10-15 people at most, creating an atmosphere of exclusivity. His name was cheered as he entered, and a beaming Niall emerged from the crowd, enveloping him in a warm embrace.

"Hey lad, what brings you here?" Harry inquired, genuinely surprised.

"It's for Y/n, plus, I couldn't possibly miss her famous cupcakes," Niall chuckled, the memories of those perfectly sweet treats vivid in their minds. Harry remembered being equally enamored by her baking skills, the cupcakes akin to professional patisserie standards. Niall was known to badger Y/n into baking at every opportunity.

Eager, Harry's gaze swept over the attendees, "Where is she?"

Niall shrugged, "Haven't seen her yet. Zayn would know." His words were barely out when Zayn appeared, a platter of the much-hyped cupcakes in hand.

Harry snagged one, engaging in a catch-up conversation with Zayn, just when Y/n descended the stairs. The room's energy shifted palpably, cheers erupting around her. Harry's breath hitched; she was a vision, her dress hugging her in all the right places, her beauty ethereal. Their eyes locked, a myriad of unspoken words flowing between them. She seemed to pause, a moment of hesitation, before being swept into conversation with another guest. However, their eye contact remained unbroken, both ensnared in silent dialogue while others chattered around them.

A dollop of frosting adorned Harry's cheek as he took a bite, eyes still fixated on Y/n. Excusing herself, she made a beeline for him, determination in her stride.

"May I borrow him for a sec?" Her words were directed at whoever Harry was speaking to, but her eyes never left his. Without waiting for an affirmative, she seized Harry's arm, leading him to a more secluded hallway.

"Hi," he greeted, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards in a familiar smile that she had missed so profoundly.

Her giggle was like music to his ears. Gracefully, she wiped the rogue chocolate from his face, holding her frosting-coated finger up as evidence. As she was about to lick it clean, Harry caught her hand in a swift motion, drawing her finger into his mouth. The deliberate, slow movement as he savored the frosting off her sent a surge of desire through them both.

"You know I can’t resist chocolate," he mumbled against her skin, his voice a low rumble that she felt deep in her core.

Their moment, however intense, was short-lived as Zayn’s voice boomed across the room, "Y/n, c'mon, time for drinks!"

Reluctantly breaking their bubble, she bestowed on Harry a smile that held promises, whispering with a playful edge, "You better be here when I come back." Her words hung in the air as she melded back into the party, leaving Harry entranced, counting down moments till her return.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #watermelon sugar #fine line #harrys house #love story

[watermelonsugacry]

okay i know we’re all just dying to know but how was band member!yn feeling when harry dated taylor swift or kendall jenner or any of his exes matter of fact

Oh she was a jealous little thing.

So what, he starting dating Taylor in 2012ish...?

That's around the time when being stuck in a hotel room between shows, press, and plane rides was becoming the band's norm. So they mainly occupied themselves with song writing, room service and in this case, video games competitions. They were all scattered around the huge living room of YN’s hotel suite, snacks and drinks every which way with eyes glued to the screen.

Louis and Niall were head to head in a round of FIFA when YN perks her head up to the sound of a door opening. She sits from her seat on the couch with furrowed eyebrows as she sees Harry push his arms through a green jacket.

"And where do yeh think yeh going, Mr. Styles?"

Harry gives her a small smile, not a full one that makes his dimples show in the way she likes.

"Erm, heading out. Be back in like 2 hours."

"Wait, we can leave? Then why the hell am I staying in here with you losers?" YN stops from fully getting off the couch by Liam's nonchalant tone.

"Only H can go, babe." Liam says with a mouthful of chips before sporadically pointing to the TV and telling Niall to go right.

"Well that's a bit sexist."

"M'meeting with up Taylor." Harry blurts out.

And that stops her hand midway from pushing a pretzel past her lips.

"Again?" YN didn't mean it to come off so defensively so she quickly tries to cover it up with a cooler tone. "I mean, didn't yeh just go see her a couple days ago?"

"That's generally how dating works, YN." Louis teases, his eyes still on the screen with his controller on his lap.

And Harry's heart plummets to the bottom on his stomach by the hurt in her voice. "You're dating her?"

"Um, kinda? S'nothing serious." Harry reaches over to grab a pretzel from the bowl in her hands and pops one in his mouth to avoid her eyes. He doesn't know why he feels the need to act like he wasn't dating the pop star. Sure, it may have started out as a PR stunt and not to totally degrade Taylor but she's a good distraction from his mind swirling around YN 24/7.

"Yeah, because sending her a giant ass bouquet of red roses the other day is the definition of 'nothing serious.'" Zayn chuckles but quickly stops at the sight of Harry's eyes throwing daggers his way.

"Well, where are yeh taking 'er today?" Niall innocently asks as he continues to stare at the TV.

"Um, gonna walk around the park for a bit and then grab a bite to eat at Danny's Place."

He's hyper aware of the fact that YN's been uncharacteristically slient, not joining in with the rest of the band as they say a quick goodbye and bids him to have fun.

Right as his hand is on the doorknob, there's an odd sense of relief at the sound of her voice.

"Wait." YN climbs her way over the couch and her sock covered feet quickly pad over to him.

"Yeah?" Was he stupid for thinking she was actually going to stop him for going? And was he an idiot for thinking he'd actually listen to her if she asked him to stay? With her looking up at him like this, he'd do just about anything she wanted if she just said the words.

But instead, he watches as she wordlessly takes the beanie off her head and tugs it over his curls. "S'cold out."

Against his better judgment, his eyes flicker down to her lips and then back to her eyes. He swallows thickly, "Thanks, lovie."

And with that she closes the door behind him. She twists and twists at the ring on her index finger as she rounds the couch back to her spot. She's so in her own mind that she hadn't even realized how the room went silent. She looks up to see the rest of the boys all staring at her with knowing looks on their faces.

"Whot?"

"Yeh really gonna make us say it?" Zayn says from his seat on the floor.

"Say whot?"

"Y'jealous." Liam chuckles.

"No m'not."

"Oh but you are." Louis drags out in a playful tone before making his voice a pitch higher. "Wait, you're dating her? But Harry, I thought you were in love with me?"

"Sorry, lovie." Niall tries his hand at Harry's deep British accent. "But I have to go take her to the restaurant you said was shite the last time we ate there because Americans seem to love it."

"But before you leave, here's my beanie for you to wear, not because it's cold outside but for you to have something to remind you of me while you're out with Taylor Swift." Louis dramatically bats his eyelashes.

"I would actually prefer a kiss instead." Niall pickers his lips and they all join in on making kissy noises at her.

They all look at YN’s eyebrows pulled together with a barely there pout, her squinted eyes flickering around to each member.

There's a pregnant pause before she mutters out, "Danny's Place is quite shit."

SINCE 2010 masterlist

Taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles @luvonstyles @mxltifxnd0m

#harry x 1dbandmember!reader #since 2010 series #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfiction #one direction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles masterlist #famous!yn #famous!reader #harry styles and reader #harry styles and y/n

[romeulusroy]

Gossamer Pt. 3 (Roman Roy Oneshot)

Character/s: Roman, Kendall, Logan, Shiv, Connor

Word Count: 1,163

Requested: PLEASE a new gossamer oneshot set after Logan's death!!! I'm so obsessed with their connection. maybe he finds her after he's been beat up by the protestors. or at the wake as her family would surely be there for appearances? 💔😔🥺 i love how you write him. all he needs is a smidgen of unconditional love and someone patient w his attachment style WE CAN FIX HIM I KNOW IT! lol x - anon

Inspired By: Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx

Tag: @locke-writes

A/N:  I wasn't planning on a part three, but I gotta say, I love it!! I'm sorry about the lack of writing, I hope this can start to make up for it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Gossamer Pt. 1 / Gossamer Pt. 2

Succession Masterlist

He doesn't knock. In this moment, he isn't sure how, fearing he'll shatter into a million sparkling bits. His knuckles are split. Torn open. Defeated, he lets himself in, the door lock clicking behind him. He flows through the rooms. The television remains on, muted, coverage of the funeral playing across every major news station. Handsome reporters stand outside the church, just out of sight, reminding the world that they should be in mourning. Muted, he is grateful, not needing a reminder of the awful day. Your shoes have been kicked off in the front hallway. Carefully he places his own by the wall, lined up, like it's them against the world. He places his coat over your couch, with a light hand so as not to disturb the pillows. There's an empty glass sitting on your kitchen counter, a bottle of wine beside it. These are the breadcrumbs you leave for him to follow. He pours some out, drinking it quickly. White wine. Fruity. Floral. You weren't normally a drinker. Socially, sure. One drink. That was all you allowed yourself. You refused to turn into your father. It must've been hard, seeing him like that. Was that why you opened a bottle? Shame burns under his skin. He takes another sip.

Your pants, black, discarded outside your bedroom. The door left open a crack. As he pushes into it, he finds your shirt asleep on the carpet. The water runs from the faucet, your little noises coming from the bathroom. He doesn't want to interrupt. He doesn't want to dirty anything, sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands wringing themselves raw. His spine sits hunched, his shoulders forward, eyes cast down. Tears well up in his eyes before he can stop them. He can't wipe them away. He needs to suffer. He deserves it. He chokes back a sob, biting back, his fist in his mouth. He sees your slippers first. Blurry. Cute, fuzzy, older than you'd like to admit. He can't lift his head, instead you take his face into your palms, drawing his chin up. His cheeks are wet, his stubble poking your skin. You wear pajamas, mismatched, ones he's seen before. A toothbrush sits in your mouth. Your eyes are glazed, your heart breaking for him. He takes you all in. Drinks you up. You look ready for bed. He's interrupting your night. He tries to shrink away from your touch, but you don't let him. Your thumb wipes away his tears, rubbing his face. Back and forth. You offer a smile, limp, pathetic. You hold up one finger, repeating back to the bathroom. One moment, it's all you need. You spit out the toothpaste, wondering what happened between then and now. . .

When you come back you're holding a damp hand towel. He doesn't move, he doesn't object, he just lets it happen. Your hands work slowly, your words shaky, instructing him before you work. He doesn't flinch so much when he's told what's going to happen. One by one you unbutton his shirt. There's blood on the collar, seeped through to his under shirt. You remove his watch, smashed and scuffed. You get him a shirt, blue with a green stripe, and pajama pants. He is careful not to disrupt his stitches, newly sewn. His eyes glaze over as you rub the white towel across the side of his face, beside his mouth, across his hands. Dried blood everywhere. No one in the emergency room cleaned it up. You take his clothes and put them in the washing machine, listening to the song it plays when it turns on. His forehead is swollen and there are broken blood vessels in his eye. Bruises start to develop against his pale skin. He looks better though. Your fingers brush his hair from his face. You put your arms around him, feeling him shaking. You hold him hard, with pressure. He is so childlike. So small. How could the world be so cruel to him? Roman leans forward into you. You stand there for as long as he needs. Even when he cries you do not move. Even when he sobs. Even when he repeats the words his brother told him, the words that burn him from the inside out. You hold him.

When he's done he looks up at you, searching your features for anger or disgust or annoyance. But you're all tender smiles and thankful eyes. You disappear. He waits. You turn off the TV, every light. You make sure the door is locked. You put your glass in the sink. Finding your phone, you send Kendall a quick text. He's with me. Safe. Xx. Then you find your way back to him. You never pick up your things. It seems trivial. Useless. He needs you. You hold his arm, bringing him over to the side of the bed. You make him sit, pulling the covers over him. Tucking him in. You shut off the light, climbing in beside him. You don't speak, your faces so close you can see his every thought. You wanted to run up to him. You wanted to claw your way through his family, hold him, let him cry as he needed. But you knew you couldn't. Not with everyone watching. You tried to talk afterwards but he avoided you, your family. Your father called him weak, pathetic, the words slapping you across the face. He wouldn't go to the reception, forbidding you, too. Between then and now, you can only imagine, putting pieces together. They don't fit. None of them would. He'd tell you when he was ready. For now, you'd have to wait. That was okay. It always would be.

He's asleep before you know it, curled into himself, like he's protecting vital organs. Nothings out to get you, you think. You want to tell him this every second of every day, but it wouldn't do any good. Every so often he moves, scrunches his nose, flexes his bruised hand. Half awake, he searches for you in the dark, pulling you into him. Your face rests on his pillow, in his chest. You wonder if texting Kendall was the right thing. His father isn't here to take him from you, but his brother has taken his place. He's so wrapped up in himself, in his world, would he even remember? Would ge even care? Perhaps Shiv should have been the one you went to. She'd ask questions though, answers neither of you were ready to admit. You didn't have Connors number, otherwise it would have been him you went to. I love you Roman Roy, you think. And then you say it, very quietly, outloud, into his t-shirt. I love you, I love you, I love you. You can't stop yourself. You can't take a breath. It's all you've been wanting to say all night, all day. Very quietly, he interrupts you, his words sleepy, mumbled. I love you, too.

#requested #writing #roman roy #roman roy imagine #roman roy x reader #succession #succession imagine #succession x reader #roman roy fic #roman roy oneshot #roman roy drabble

[foxes-that-run]

Only Angel

Only Angel has similarities to Meet me in the Hallway, they 2 of the 10 Haylor songs with Hallways. To me, it is related to So it Goes... which refers to when Taylor performed in the 2014 Victoria's Secret show. Harry performed Only Angel at the 2017 VS show. I have always heard this song to be an assurance to Taylor that she is his 'only angel', like in As it was, she cannot be replaced with girls that 'look just like her' in MMIH Possibly because he was seen with Nadine Leopold soon after the 2014 VS show. It also references Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey which Harry included on his mix tape.

At 2 minutes into this Nashville performance Harry sings "Told her Little Brother" (2.09), further confirmation it is Haylor, with Austin Swift being younger than Taylor unlike Kendall's brother.

Only Angel was last played live in November 2021. It wasn’t at Coachella or after Harry’s House.

Original Lyrics

On 7 December 2023 the demo was leaked with different lyrics. Studio version is like a simplified, shortened and cleaned up radio edit. In the original, the muse has more agency (they knock), Harry has considered proposing 1000 times but it hasn't worked out and it's more explicit. The song also ends, then comes back like their relationship.

Close your eyes, shut your mouth and see That I'm still the only one who's been in love with me I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth And hoping you don't shout about it Now I know a bunch of people who would waste your time But I wouldn't let it happen to a friend of mine We can write ourselves a story without doing lines 'Cause believe me, we can live without it, She's an angel[...] Broke a finger knocking on my bedroom door I got splinters in my knuckles crawling on the floor Could never take you home because your skirt's too short And my mother would be mad about it I must admit I married you a thousand times Had to change my tune when I found out what it’d be like But I meet you in the hallway almost anytime And we won't have to talk about it, yeah, She's an angel[...] She wants to be an angel just you wait and see. But it turns out she’s a devil in between the sheets and believe me I am all about it. Huh. Painted on you on your back, I knew we’d get along. But I caught you staring in the mirror way too long. I could love her if I didn’t think I’d do it wrong. I’m gonna have to take you home, She's an angel[...]

Lyrics

I saw this angel I really saw an angel Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see That I'm still the only one who's been in love with me I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth And there's nothing I can do about it

The first verse, Harry is so drawn to his muse he can’t help winding up with her. They liken their connection to an addiction in MMIH, Clean and Grapejuice.

The “only one in love with me” is Harry calling himself a narcissist and I think refers to Fool’s Gold where he said “Yeah I know your love's not real / That's not the way it feels /That's not the way you feel”

But, like in Fools Gold and Stockholm Syndrome he can’t help himself, he desperately wants to be with this muse

Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor Couldn't you take home to mother in a skirt that short But I think that's what I like about it

This verse starts with 2 references that are in other quite sad songs, but set to a dance beat. Something Harry later did so well in As it was:

Taylor also referred to Harry knocking on her door in Suburban Legends but very sadly “You don't knock anymore and my whole life's ruined”

Harry also referred again to being on the floor in Fine Line “And I don't wanna sleep in the dirt”

The short skirt is a reference to Style “And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt”

She's an angel Only angel She's an angel My only angel

This line to me is a response to Is it over now? “Your new girl is my clone”. To me, Harry was saying he only has one angel, as in Victoria’s Secret model, Taylor having performed in 2 VS shows in 2013 and 2014.

After 1989 was released and they broke up they both spent a lot of time with a lot of models. Read into that what you will, to me the role the VS after party plays in So it goes and IDWLF, and the clone line has me noodling on if they were both seeking each other rather than the models.

I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine As I went about my business through the warning signs End up meeting in the hallway every single time And there's nothing we can do about it

I love ‘went about my business and want to make you mine’ to me it encapsulates what I imagine wasted Harry’s chill attitude at that time.

Ending up in hallways links this to MMIH and the 10 other mentions of hallways in their respective songs.

Told it to her brother and she told it to me That she's gonna be an angel, just you wait and see When it turns out she's a devil in between the sheets And there's nothing she can do about it Hey, hey

This line about her brother is thought to narrow the muse to KJ and TS, in the above live performance in Nashville Harry said little brother which would be Austin Swift. Harry also got on with Austin.

To me, she’s an Angel/devil is here is similar to Style, where Taylor had “good girl faith and a tight little skirt” both play on the idea of someone seeming good but being wild. Kiwi is also similar “hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect”

She's an angel Only angel x3 Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight x3 My only angel She's an angel x3 My-my-my only angel

The refrain is repeating that she’s the only angel for him, and he wants to go to heaven.

Harry included Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey on his Another Man Mix Tape from an article while he was making this album. The outtro "She's an angel", which is also how Tupelo Honey ends. As Harry said to Rolling Stone:

“I don’t know much about Van Morrison’s life, but I know how he felt about this girl, because he put it in a song. So I like working the same way.”

#haylor #only angel #Youtube #harry styles #harry styles debut #hs1

[tpwkwriter]

helloooo, you are like one of my fave writers!! I am requesting one with lhh where the reader feels very insecure and harry is comforting her and telling her she is absolutely beautiful and how in love he is with her and how he remembers the first time he saw her he knew she was the one and that he had never seen any one so breathtaking. And then they start kissing and it slowly escalates till harry tells he "let me show you how beautiful you are" or smth like that i dont really know and then the after careeee!!! OMG I WOULD DIEEE. Could you please write that?? THANK YOUUU!!!

Baby your perfect.

Omg! Thank you for your lovely words it always means the world 🤭

And yessss! This concept!! 🫢 and lhh 😩

Im a tad sucky on writing smut/smutty-ish stuff so I hope this works for you and you enjoy! 🤎

Also this absolutely no hate to any of these women mentioned!!!! Especially Kendall Jenner/kardashians for story purposes only!! 👑

*Warnings*- struggling with body image, low self esteem, language, hint towards smut and adultish themes! ✌🏻

Y/n’s Life had felt like it’s been on the right track for a while now.

She’s finally enjoying her career, her friendships have never been better, her relationship with H is the her pride and joy, hence them nearing there 5 year anniversary.

The only downside to all of this is her social media.

Ever since a young age y/n struggled with social media and unrealistic beauty standards.

And when your boyfriends exes include the Looks of: Kendall Jenner, Taylor swift, Camille rowe, that feeling of ‘Not good enough’ Never really goes away.

Y/n found herself in there shared bathroom gazing at the mirror before her wondering why she looked the way she did.

She really wondered what H saw in her, all the models and actresses and he chose her.

She examined her body, suddenly getting this feeling that she felt when she was 15 wondering why she wasn’t as pretty as the other girls in school.

Apart from she was and she didn’t even know.

She spotted every insecurity, from the stretch marks around her hips, to the scars and marks she developed on her body.

Tears begun to form in the corner of her eyes, her reflection became unbearable.

She wanted to forget this night had even started like this.

She cosied in her shared bed awaiting Harry’s return from the studio, she pulled out her phone ready to text her love, when her twitter notifications distracted her.

Mistakenly she clicked on the app, and was left feeling lower then she already had.

“Former kardashian and Jenner star admitted to pleading for another chance with singer and songwriter Harry styles!”

She clicked on the thread to be greeted with many images and gifs of her.

Her perfect figure, eyes, face, everything, she had everything.

And that’s what Harry deserved, he deserves it all.

Without even thinking y/n finds herself angrily throwing her brush against the wall out of anger.

“Baby?” A familiar voice called.

‘Fuck’ she though to herself.

He’s home

“Y’alright darling” he said, voice getting louder and closer.

“M’Fine” she sighed, trying her best to hide her tears.

There shared room door gets pushed open.

“Baby” he gently Said.

“H”

“What’s going on?” He said placing his jacket on the back of the vanity chair and toeing his trainers off.

“Nothing” she said forcing a smile to persuade the man.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing” he said raising an eyebrow and joining her next to her on the bed.

She remained quiet, thinking of how to play this out.

“Baby, Jus’ me y’know its okay” he said running a hand through his long curly locks.

“I don’t understand why your with me” she breathes, avoiding eye contact.

“Y/n?” He asked confused as hell.

“Baby, where is this Coming from? What?” He asks placing his ringed hand on her exposed thigh.

“You don’t deserve me H” she said finally breathed making cold eye contact with him.

“You deserve someone prettier, skinner, and overall better, than..whatever i am” she Said tears threatening to leave her eyes.

“Baby Girl” he asks manoeuvring his palms up to girls cheeks and pulling her in closer.

“Where is this coming from?, y’my girl, my gorgeous girl” he said heart almost breaking at the sight and sound of his girl.

“Kendall” she mumbles, tears finally falling.

“Kendall?” He asks eyebrows knitted together.

“She wants You back H, and now the whole world knows it” she quietly cries leaning her forehead on his.

He finally gets it, it adds up all in his head.

“Baby” he speaks, pressing a kiss to her cold lips.

“Fuckin’ hell” he says kissing her cheek replacing the salty tears.

“Y’really think, I want her huh?” He smiles

“My silly girl” he sniffs, trying to make light of this situation.

He removes his hands and opened his arms signalling for her to get in.

She sits on his lap, almost koala style with both legs wrapped around his waist and both arms over his shoulders.

“Now that you’ve got me, y’won’t be getting rid of me” he said dancing his fingertips on her back.

“I just…I don’t get it” she sniffed

“Why me” she mumbled, snuggling her face into his neck.

“Why you huh?” He breathed

“Well, the first time saw you, the thing I saw was not only y’beauty, but m’future, m’life, Ive Never met someone as breathtaking as you m’love Call me a sap, but y’my muse now” he gently said.

“Not Kendall, Not no one else, jus’ you” he said kissing the side of Face.

“Can y’look at me darling?” He whispered.

She happily complied, lifting her face from his neck and revealing her beautiful glossy eyes but now with a small smile to her face.

“I love you” he says kissing her lips hard and straight forward.

“Y’never to forget that”

“Love you too H, I’m sorry for being silly” she smiles

“None of tha’ i get it”

Without being able to finish properly, the girl crashes her lips on his.

“I’m so in love with you” she mumbles against his lips.

“Y’make me crazy baby” he smirks

“Please Baby, let me Show you How much y’mean to me” he says going in again.

“Show How beautiful You Are angel”

“Mmhmm” she nods

— — — — —

The Girl lies hazily in there bathtub of there en-suite bathroom, reminiscing on tonight’s events.

God she was grateful to have H, no matter what rut she finds herself in, he manages to no matter what pull her out.

“Hey beautiful girl” he said coming in pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Fresh sheets and tea on the bedside” he said while placing the girls fresh Pyjamas ( his hoodie and Boxers) on the closed toilet lid.

“Thank you baby”

“I’ll join you in a sec” she added

“Take y’time love”

Once y/n’s bath was done, she slipped into her boyfriends clothes he prepared for her, and reunited with her lover in there shared bed.

“Y’feeling okay m’honey?” He asks putting his phone down and leaning into his girl.

“Mmhmm” she hummed slipping under the soft sheets.

“Y’the best” she sighed.

“Mm certainly am” he smirked.

“Ugh great I just fed your ego more” she joked playfully rolling her eyes.

“There’s my y/n back” he smiled pressing a kiss to her temple.

— — — — —

Again thank your for your request and please, please tell me of this is any good! 😩 again I’m sorry for skimming the smutty Part Bit im so awkward writing it 😭 love love loveeee you all ❤️

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #my fic writing #harry styles au #harry styles blurb #harry styles x y/n #fluff #fine line harry styles #hs #hshq #anon #thanks anon! #anon request #request #Harry #angst #tpwkwriter #my writes #my writing #y/n x Harry #1D #one direction #Lhh #harry styles one shots #harry edward styles #fanfic #boyfriend material #harry styles fluff #soft #boyfriendrry

[janfraiser]

📚

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER DRAMA

A 1960s Succession shivlina AU ~ 897 words ~ rated E

pinterest ask game

Shiv paces, barefoot on Roman's stupidly ornate carpet in his stupidly ornate sitting room. She knows her brother, and doubts he ever uses this room. It's all the height of luxury and simultaneously not his style at all. Still, his staff keeps everything clean, and she sinks her toes into the soft, thick carpet as she runs her hands over the back of the velvet couch. She's antsy like she gets when she smokes with Kendall, and she's done this enough times that she shouldn't be, but the whole situation is anxiety-inducing and she can't stop worrying that this time will be the last straw and, perhaps worst of all, her set-up requires her to trust her brother.

As if summoned by her thoughts, the front door opens noisily and she hears Roman yell down the long front hall. "Shiv! She's here! Pay me!"

Shiv pulls her white slip down as if she can make it fall below mid-thigh and grabs a wad of bills from her purse. Roman is halfway down the hall when she steps out, an annoying grin on his face and his arm around the waist of a tall, shapely brunette. Shiv hands him the money and he steps away from the woman as if he's been burned, bowing ridiculously to them both and then passing Shiv to exit out the back door, probably off to enjoy his own deviant sexual escapades.

Thirty years old, and Shiv can't pay for her own fucking prostitutes.

It's just a risk she can't take, like the clubs she'd frequented in her youth that she'd had to abandon once she obtained a husband who would question her whereabouts. New York is a big city but a small world, and enough of her father's associates utilize these sorts of services that she can't risk word going to the highest bidder that Logan Roy's daughter beds women semi-regularly.

Karolina slips her hand into Shiv's with a mona lisa smile, and as soon as they touch Shiv's anxiety fades away. She pulls Karolina into her even as Karolina tries to lead them back into the sitting room, and they end up kissing against the door frame. Shiv crades the back of Karolina's head so that she doesn't bang it on the wood, eager to muss her neatly-styled bob.

"I've missed you," she says, breaking the kiss with a smile.

Karolina's eyes flash as she returns the gesture. "I've missed your daddy's money."

"You are terrible," Shiv breathes, her voice getting husky at the zest in Karolina's rebuttal.

Karolina pulls her leg over her hip, rucking up Shiv's slip and sliding her hand under the hem of her panties. "Mhm? Then what does that make you?"

Shiv kisses her viciously for a few more minutes, until she can feel her pulse dizzy in her head and banging against her chest and hot in her cunt. Karolina's hands are everywhere, but her touch is too much and not enough all at once, and Shiv doesn't know what she wants and thinks maybe she doesn't-- can't-- want this, not right now. If she wanted someone to fuck her hard just to give her an orgasm and be done, she wouldn't pretend to be asleep by the time Tom got to bed.

"Lina," she gasps, the nickname a necessity born of her empty lungs and not truly an endearment, "let's move somewhere else."

Karolina just looks at her, with her dark eyes and slow smile. She runs her finger down Shiv's neck until she's pulling at the neckline of her slip, exposing the red trim of her red-and-white lingerie. "Whatever you want, Siobhan."

Shiv hadn't told her her full name until their third meeting. She hadn't expected to like it, in such an intimate but theoretically detached way. And then she had.

To be honest, this isn't as detached as she'd hoped either. There's a lot of things she hadn't expected about Karolina.

"You're a work of art, sweetheart," she coos as she leads Karolina into the sitting room. "Let's get you out of this dress... I wanna see all of you."

Karolina smirks over her shoulder at her as Shiv pulls the zipper down. "Well, maybe you should get undressed too.

Shiv drops Karolina's dress to the floor and obeys, removing her silk slip to show off her flattering ensemble, stark and clean with trim almost matching her hair.

Karolina is in an all-black set that feels much more severe, and it takes Shiv's breath away. She lifts herself to sit on Roman's chessboard, pieces scattering. A king rolls off the table and comes to a rest at Shiv's feet. She steps over it, placing her hands around Karolina's wrists and kissing her deeply. She sinks to her knees, watching Karolina's dark eyes flash as she moves her hands from her arms to her thighs.

"Please let me," she says softly. "I need to."

"That's what I'm here for," Karolina purrs, cupping Shiv's cheek and tilting her chin up so that they're making eye contact. The hanging lamp is giving Karolina a halo, a reddish-orange light thanks to Roman's absurd fixtures. Karolina's nails dig into Shiv's skin a bit as she finishes her sentence. "...to give you what you need."

When she lets go, Shiv buries her head between Karolina's thighs until she's able to forget about the outside world entirely.

#another day another drama au #shivlina #succession #shiv roy #karolina novotney #roman roy #ask meme #prompt fill #julie fics #this... wasn't supposed to be smutty??? #but That's What Happened #this was outside my comfort zone but i like how the dynamics worked out #might write more of this depending on feedback...

[gorgeousklaystels]

All’s well that ends well

A/N: thought i’d finish up this little chapter and post it here. lmk what your thoughts are :D

“Oh… crap.” Louis and Liam said, standing in their spot. 

“Taylor..?” Harry said. 

“We’ll give you guys a minute—”

“—no, hold on.” Harry said, signaling them to step out of the room. 

“What is she doing here?” 

“We were going to tell you…” Niall said, softening the shock. 

“When? She’s already here.” He spoke up, frustrated.

Because he was. He was frustrated. Because how could nobody tell him his ex-girlfriend was going to show up at their doorstep? 

“We’re sorry, Harry, but…”

“Unbelievable, the lot of you.” 

“Alright, we’ll take care of this later, right now, Harry, please talk to Taylor.” Louis interjected. 

“Fine.” He went back into the room. 

—

Harry shut the door behind him. 

Taylor stood there in front of him. In a pencil skirt and a white shirt. And of course, rocking her classic red lipstick. 

She managed to look gorgeous in everything. She had amazing style and a sense of fashion. 

But then again, she could be standing in nothing but a potato sack and still look beautiful to him. 

“Hi.” She greeted, sweetly.

“Hey.” He responded, walking slightly further from the door and towards her. 

“Um, do you… want something to drink, or?” Harry added awkwardly, unsure how to start the conversation. 

“Oh, no. But, thank you.” Taylor said, giving him a smile at the end. 

“Well, um, you wanna sit maybe?” He shrugged, gesturing toward the seats. 

“Yeah, sure.” She replied, sitting down. 

He took a seat right in front of her. 

“So…”

“So…” Taylor responded. 

Harry was still not sure what to say to her. What he wanted was virtually impossible. And this conversation would go nowhere. 

“Listen, Harry, about what happened that night…” She went on, reeling him out of his thoughts. 

“I’m sorry. Not just for that night, but for… blowing you off. For not responding to your texts or… or your calls or anything. You should’ve heard it from me first and foremost and I should’ve told you, I just…” Taylor stopped for a second. 

Harry listened eagerly. He’d been wanting to hear her actually talk about it for so long. And she was. And he just wanted to hear her out. 

“I was scared. I was scared that if I did, I’d end up not moving on… or not getting over you. And I just wanted to get out of this… cycle. The constant circles we’d been going in, Harry. Even if I value your presence in my life in whatever shape or form. Even if we get along really well, that was not healthy. And I wanted to try us. I wanted it to be real. Granted, I should’ve handled that differently.” She finished. 

Harry took in what she said. Processing her words. 

“Tay, we tried. But even before blowing me off, we mutually decided that we couldn’t go through with this. I mean, yeah, none of that was healthy nor was it worth the risk as much as one would like to think it was, but it was what we thought was the only way. Taylor, I tried to get you back. I wanted a real relationship with you. But you were scared. And then, all of a sudden, you’re bringing a date to the BBMAs like it’s nothing. We go through all of that, for you to go and do that. That was what blowed.” Harry ranted, not exactly sure what point he was getting across, but he needed to get things off his chest.

“I know, and I’m sorry, like I said, I was just… scared.”

He went over to the seat next to her. 

“I’m not saying you couldn’t. I’m glad you were happy and you had someone there with you. But I just thought that after all we’d been through, after… after everything that happened, I wouldn’t be on the sidelines watching you be happy, I’d be there. With you.” He brushed a strand of stray hair away from her face. 

“Yeah?” She asked.

“Yeah. It just wasn’t… easy. Watching you with him. It actually kind of sucked.” Harry voiced his feelings.

“Like I was just waiting for you and Kendall to hit it off, right?” Taylor told him. 

“Taylor Swift, do you admit to being jealous? Was that what that was?” He asked, lightening the mood.

Taylor laughed and Harry felt like he could hang the moon for her. 

“Well, what else was I supposed to do? At least I didn’t have my tongue down her throat. You on the other hand.” 

“God, shut up!” She said, hitting his shoulder playfully, while he laughed teasingly. 

Then there was a knock on the door. 

“All good in there?” He heard Louis ask, voice muffled. 

Harry looked at Taylor, giving her a smile. A true one this time. To which she smiled back. 

“You ready to do this then?” Harry asked her for confirmation. 

She took a minute to take in the moment. To really be ready. 

“Yes. Let’s do this.” Taylor replied, enthusiastically yet a sense of calm in her voice. 

He glanced at her for a second before turning to the door. 

“Yep! All good in here, mates! You can come in!” He yelled through the door. 

To which the band came running back in the studio, all smiling faces and playful voices. 

Taylor looked at the scene before her and so did Harry and for the first time in a while, they both thought, maybe, just maybe, this was finally right. A step in the forward direction. No vague plans nor miscommunication. Just in the moment. 

Because after all that had occurred between the two, sitting in the studio ready to write a song together, felt weirdly intimate yet a small gesture. It felt tame. It felt right. 

Truly, all’s well that ends well. (To end up with you).

#harry styles #taylor swift #haylor #divorced parents #i love them #babies <3 #my parents <3 #fanfiction #harry and taylor #fypシ #tumblr fyp #fyp #foryou #viralpost

[loveandthings11]

Here to put an end to "the show ends with Kendall in the ocean" theories using my unhinged-detective style work to prove that Kendall is still having involved scenes in 4x09, and the ocean stuff is 4x06.

Very slight spoilers ahead, but if you live on tumblr you will have seen these photos before.

Will Arbery, one of the writers and a co-producer, posted this the day after the following still came out, saying "our influence" in reference to the ocean:

Today, 4/16, he posted this:

"My episode 6," so the ocean must be in episode 6. You might question what the angel emoji is in reference to- I'm assuming Lorene. It's not Kendall, because:

These Kenrava photos are from January 10th, which is when they were starting filming on Logan's funeral episode, and obviously, Kendall is still here:

I know that was the funeral episode because of this still from the video of Kendall holding the church door for someone with flowers, when Kendall is in the same outfit as he is above. This was 100% the funeral location.

The funeral is either in 4x08 or 4x09. I know that because one of the weekends I did background acting, the weekend of February 3rd, we were near that church, which was still blocked off as a set, and there was a hearse in the scene. The other weekend I did it, we filmed a scene that took place later in the same canon day, and we were told that that was 4x09.

Here is a picture I took the weekend of February 3rd of the hearse Mark Mylod was in with the camera. It had this purple flag that said "funeral" on it:

(more on the fun background experience here and here in case you're interested)

Basically, my point is that Kendall is still having involved scenes in 4x08/4x09, and the ocean scenes are in 4x06.

(yes, Brian was at the funeral when his character was gone, but they didn't film an entire Kenrava drama scene just to throw off paparazzi- the church would have been enough. Kendall makes it).

In conclusion, him standing in the ocean is not the last shot of the show and he makes it out of there fine. And in case you were concerned that he goes to the ocean twice, this terrifying shot features the exact same unique sky and lighting as the standing-in-the-ocean shot, so they happened on the same day, meaning this was also in 4x06 and Kendall is still fine in episodes after that.

Happy Succession Sunday <3

#kendall is protected by my love it's okay #make the water motif stop #it's killing me #I suppose 4x06 could end on this shot but are they really doing another Kendall in water cliffhanger?! this time we know he is okay! #kendall roy #succession #succession season 4 #succession water motif #fksldfkjsld water motif #succession spoilers

[telltalesonline]

40 Fun Facts About Harry Styles

Heartthrob, Harry Styles blessed everyone’s screens in 2011 when he participated in The X Factor and quickly became one of, if not the most popular One Direction boy.  

Over the last decade, this trending celeb has gone from an adored young boybander to a bona fide pop superstar right in front of our eyes.

Now one of the most influential male solo artists around, as well as fashion icon and inspiration to many, Harry actually has a lot about him behind closed doors that even his biggest fans don’t know about.

So, if you ever needed more reason to fall in love with the pop idol some more – continue reading these 40 fun Harry Styles facts below…

1. He Wanted to Be a Lifeguard

In another life, Hazza would’ve been riding the waves instead of rocking the stage. 

Believe it or not, singing wasn’t always in the pipeline for Harry. Before auditioning for The X Factor, the popular star actually applied to become a lifeguard. Harry didn’t make the cut, so he pursued his dreams of becoming a pop star, instead. 

2. He Was the First Man Featured on Vogue’s Front Cover 

If you didn’t already know, landing the front cover of Vogue is huge. And it’s an even bigger deal when you’re the first man to do so. In December 2020, Harry Styles became the first man to appear solo on the front cover of Vogue magazine.

For his cover shoot, the singer famously sported a blue dress paired with a black blazer, a look that expressed his love for fashion…but also had him accused of queerbaiting.

3. Harry Has Dated Many Famous Women

Ever since he stepped into the limelight, Harry Styles’ dating life has been scrutinized and publicized.

Over the years the superstar has been linked to models, actresses, and fellow singers, including Caroline Flack, Kendall Jenner, Taylor Swift, Nicole Scherzinger, and Olivia Wilde, among many others. 

4. He’s Never Labeled His Sexuality

While Harry’s been with various women, he’s never publicly labeled his sexuality. After starring as a gay man in My Policeman; having a gender-fluid fashion sense, and being an advocate for the LGBT+ community (e.g. frequently waving pride flags during concerts), many fans accused Harry of queerbaiting and not being honest about his sexuality.

“Sometimes people say, ‘You’ve only publicly been with women,’ and I don’t think I’ve publicly been with anyone. If someone takes a picture of you with someone, it doesn’t mean you’re choosing to have a public relationship or something,” he told Rolling Stone.

“It doesn’t matter, and it’s about not having to label everything, not having to clarify what boxes you’re checking,” he continued.

5. He Burst into Tears When He Went Solo 

After leaving One Direction and embarking on a solo career, Harry apparently burst into tears. The singer told Better Homes & Gardens that he cried when signing his solo contract, because he “felt free.”

When recalling his time in the band, Harry explained that he was always cautious about his behavior and the image he portrayed, and “terrified” about voiding one of the cleanliness clauses in his contracts.

“In lockdown, I started processing a lot of stuff that happened when I was in the band,” he said, noting that he had “to get people to engage with you, to like you.”

#harry styles #one direction #1d #directioner #sign of the times #watermelon sugar #harry's house #celeb #celebs #celebrity #celebrities #pop culture #pop culture icon #pop culture news

[gobbluthbutagirl]

summer 2022 was peak My Job like. every day i would come in and more carts would have mysteriously vanished. we already had not had baskets for several months. there was a one-legged old man with his dick out in the parking garage. the a/c died for like 5 days in june and it was somehow infinitely hotter and more humid inside the store than it was outside and i literally almost died from dehydration because the former hr guy(bastard that he was) would NOT stop sending me on cart runs. a bald guy tried to steal like $1400 worth of stuff including at least eight pairs of haircutting scissors. a guy had a box full of bees in the parking garage. a guy smeared chocolate pudding all over the windows & door because he was mad he couldn’t come in after closing and it looked like shit(literally). someone forgot their skateboard that had the words “fuck you” on it in the store and never came back to retrieve it. an old man grabbed shaving cream off the shelf and smeared it all over not only his face but also everything in his cart and then asked if we had “a restaurant”(“do you mean a restroom?” my coworker had to ask) where he could wash his face off because he had “a mess going on here.” this happened the same night as the pudding incident. the entire FOS team called out on july 3rd except for like 3 people and it was the single craziest night i have ever experienced. one guy even caught covid that night and was out for like 10 days. i developed a stomach ulcer and did not know what it was and simply assumed i must be dying and went “this is fine.” i had to clean up human piss. i had to clean up human shit. i had to clean up chips & salsa that a guy had grabbed off the shelf & then begun eating & then dropped on the carpet. i scrubbed the world’s dirtiest & nastiest target cart for over an hour until it looked presentable enough to have in the store and barely a month later it got stolen too. i walked out of one shift not even 2 hours in because the former hr guy made me so so mad and then 2 days later i showed up randomly to yell at him. i said, “you’re an asshole and nobody likes you. i have heard a lot of people say a lot of things about you and NONE of them have been anything good!” and he said, “please don’t quit. i will pay you for an hour for coming in here today,” and once i calmed down a little i realized what an objectively funny situation that was so i stayed. i chose to request my birthday off not because i had plans but because i figured out he’d be the closing lead that day and i could not stand his ass. the day after my birthday i found out one of my 2 favorite leads was leaving and the other one had shaved his head kendall roy style. three hours later a pipe at the starbucks exploded and flooded everywhere and ruined everybody’s shoes except for mine because mine already fucking sucked. later that week we lost our last cart.

they threw a party on the former closing lead’s last day for both her and the former hr guy and everyone brought gifts for her and no one brought gifts for him. and he seemed super offended that i in particular hadn’t gotten him anything so he stopped me right before i clocked out for lunch and went, “holly are you gonna miss me at all? even a little bit?” and i was like, “yeah, i am gonna miss you, and you know why? because i love complaining and you give me more to complain about than everybody else who works here combined. and [his replacement] has NEVER given me ANYTHING to complain about EVER.” it was a lie though. i do not miss his ass. there was an incident where someone actually slipped on a banana. we thought it was just the peel but when i investigated i saw it was the whole banana. half the morning team including multiple leads caught covid and so did the interim hr guy we were supposed to have for two weeks. they finally sent us baskets with wheels after like three weeks of having no baskets and no carts whatsoever and the shoplifters had a field day. satan took a shit in our elevator and had to be removed from the store. i stayed late one night to help out & found a package of moldy rotten deli meats that were a brand we don’t even sell just sitting on the shelf. the power went out for like 2 hours and we had to close and the leads let somebody out when their shift ended and forgot to lock the door again and satan got in while we weren’t even open and immediately began stealing. a guy smashed a can of meat against the shelf until it exploded and also pissed in a starbucks cup and on the floor. i broke the world record for listening to “i started a joke” by the bee gees. and that is literally just what i can remember off the top of my head!

#my job wrapped

[myloveforhergoeson]

That's All She Wrote - Chapter 18 (Part 1)

Previous chapter

Find me on wattpad + ao3

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

Chapter 18: Mona Lisa (When The World Comes Down) (1.18 - Part 1) ~ 16k

As Roxy raced down the hallways of Rocque Records with her best friends, she didn’t even try to contain the massive grin spreading across her face. 

Today was the day. 

The day that showed the culmination of their time and hard work in Los Angeles. The day that finally proved to any haters or nay-sayers or evil record producers that Big Time Rush had clawed their way to the top of Rocque Records and had no intention of ever letting go. The day the band got to hold their first album in their hands; proof that they were making their own special place in Hollywood history. 

They were a force to be reckoned with this summer, not only were they slated to sweep the Billboard charts with their debut album, they’d rock the entire United States on their first-ever headlining tour - a surprise for the boys Kelly, Gustavo, and Roxy had been trying to keep secret for the past few weeks.

  By the time Big Time Rush and their assistant made it to the producer’s office, they had unabashedly thrown open the large wooden door, only coming to a complete stop once they stood in front of their bosses. 

For some reason, Kelly and Gustavo looked confused to see them.

“Well?” The teens chorused, holding out their hands out expectantly, wiggling their fingers for good measure.

The adults shared a knowing glance, both reaching underneath the producer’s desk to pull out a large brown box packed to the brim with physical versions of their first album. Gently placing it on the tabletop, the pair were practically radiating with pride, even if they didn’t share it in words. 

Pulling a fresh one right off the top, Gustavo showed off the cover, “Schpingo!” 

Immediately the boys descended upon the copy, letting out excited screams as they pointed out all the little details they hadn’t noticed through the draft stages of design. The cover boasted the band, all perfectly cute and smiley, standing together against an off-white background layered over a picture of Hollywood Boulevard. The band’s logo was proudly displayed in the upper-right-hand corner and had a bit of a torn effect above their heads that continued throughout the lyric booklet on the inside cover of the jewel case. 

While the band was busy fighting over the one copy, Roxy gently leaned over the table and reached into the box, picking out one for herself. Then, after digging around in her backpack for a red marker, she found one at the bottom of her bag and opened up the CD cover, slipping the lyric booklet out and handing it off to her friends. 

Eyebrows cocked, heads turned, it seemed the boys were unable to understand what she was asking them by handing them the paper and a pen.

“Sign it!” She demanded, waving her hands around in excitement. “I want to be the first person in the world to have a signed copy of Big Time Rush’s first album.”

With a smile, each of the boys passed it around, happy to sign their first album for the first time for their biggest fan.

Red marker standing out nicely against the black background, Roxy watched as her friends slowly passed it around. Once or twice, she had caught them in class doodling out their rockstar signatures atop their notes and homework, but this was the first time she was seeing the styles they had decided on. 

First up, Carlos gently, yet sloppily wrote his name out in cursive,  and though he had no trouble connecting the letters, he did seem to be struggling once his name was complete. Flipping the pen back and forth a few times in silence, his eyes lit up after a moment before adding in an adorable little smiley face by the “S.”

Once his friend was finished, Kendall practically tore the small book out of his hands before taking the marker in one fell swoop. Channeling his inner John Hancock, he too wrote his name in cursive, about two times bigger than the other boy’s signature. 

James was both quick and yet far too obvious with his eye roll as he snatched the pages from the frontman, scribbling out a “J” to rival the size of the “K” in Kendall. Though, once his large, swirly first letter had hit the page, he wrote out the “ames” in what looked like near-microscopic font before drawing out a diamond and a tiny heart to the right of his signature. 

When the booklet finally reached Logan, he was easily able to use what space remained above his pictured head to write out his name. In a similar manner to the boy before him, his “L” was large and swooping, but the rest of his letters were at least half the size. Though, his signature ended with three bold stroked lines underlining it in its entirety. 

Though their assistant took a moment to admire her now priceless album, the boy’s didn’t skip a beat, launching right back into their conversation with Gustavo and Kelly. 

“I look great!” James gushed pointing out all the places he was on the front and back cover of the album. 

“And people can buy this… in stores?” Asked Kendall, still trying to wrestle the album Gustavo had handed out from his other friends, still in disbelief that the band had managed to make it this far. 

Kelly held out a finger, telling him to pause, “Not yet!”

“The record company will not release it until they announce your big time…” Getting up from his desk, Gustavo walked over to where his white projector screen had been hanging and pushed it up, revealing a map of the United States underneath. A collection of blue pins covered many of the major US cities, the Big Time Rush logo plastered all across the country, “Tour!”

Knowing this had been coming, the girl quickly produced her phone and ran in front of the boys, taking a picture of their slack jaws and wide eyes with many loud clicks. 

“Surprise!” She yelled, before launching herself at her band, crushing the four of them into the tightest, most bone-crushing hug she could muster. 

The four were nearly too startled to return her gesture, though eventually, they were able to snap themselves out of their stupor and pull her just as close. 

“I can’t believe we’re going on tour…” James was the first to speak, and the girl felt the excitement in his statement nearly just as great as her own. As she weaseled out of their arms, she could swear he was practically glowing.

With a nod, Gustavo informed them, “And your first concert is in two weeks!”

Placing a giant red pin where Los Angeles could be read on the map caused the five teens to imagine their version of what their first concert might be like. They had performed for their friends at the Palm Woods plenty of times, but a stage performance with lights and special effects and a screaming crowd… That was on a whole new level. 

When Kelly had initially told Roxy about the plan for a tour, she had specifically mentioned that Gustavo wanted a live band playing along with the boys. It was a bit unorthodox, especially for a boy band, but for whatever reason, he truly believed the band performed better with their assistant playing on stage with them. Through his belief, she found herself an updated Rocque Records talent contract and a little bit of a pay raise. 

Though Roxy was no stranger to the stage, her last band had performed at a number of local Duluth events put on by the Project Pop radio station she worked for and in just about any coffee shop or restaurant that would have them, performing for a crazed, cheering crowd filled with thousands of people felt a bit daunting. Stage fright wasn’t the issue… at least she didn’t think it was. Hopefully, the next two weeks would provide her with all the practice time she needed to grow more comfortable with her stage presence, especially since the live band obviously wasn’t the point of the concert. 

In secret, their bosses had carried out auditions for a bass player and a drummer and ended up picking a pair of amazing talents. After calling in a few of his friends from the ‘90s, Gustavo was able to find one of his old bass players was in need of some summer work; the position was quickly filled by an older, yet down-to-earth guy by the name of Mick Morales. The drummer role was easily filled by a guy around the band’s age from a local performing arts high school, Austin Kane, who was more than stoked to have “Summer Tour” on his resume. Roxy, of course, would be the guitar player, focusing on taking lead parts on the songs, though Gustavo was still planning to make her record the rhythm tracks as well. 

When he asked her if she needed any supplies or special equipment for her instruments, she was ecstatic to hit the music store one day after work. She had ordered six new guitar pedals, a pedal board to keep them on, nearly 20 packs of strings for both her electric and acoustic, and a new repair/maintenance tool kit just in case anything happened to go wrong with her instruments. Getting her started on her wardrobe was a whole other issue, one she would focus on once the band began to put their things together. After being fortunate enough to travel across the country playing with her friends, the least she could do was try and match whatever color palette they chose. 

In addition, she had begged, quite literally on her hands and knees, for her bosses to invest in confetti cannons for the shows. To Roxy, there was almost no better feeling in the world than being at a concert, hearing the bass of her favorite song drop, then watching as millions of tiny pieces of confetti shot over the crowd, raining down on them in a shower of color. If she was to be a part of this tour, she wouldn’t allow their concerts to end any other way. 

Picturing the image in her mind, she could practically feel the airy strips fall around her, enveloping everyone in the crowd, and clouding their vision… Best show ever. 

Once they had finished their concert fantasy daydream sequence, Gustavo and Kelly ushered the five into Studio A, to show off its newly transformed interior. A brilliant, silver curtain covered the back wall, with the Big Time Rush logo proudly on display in the middle. Various instrument racks, amps, and other technical equipment riddled the makeshift black stage the pair stood upon as they spoke down to their employees.

“The concert stage,” Gustavo presented, holding his arms out to show off the space. “Where you will need intense focus…”

Here, Kelly jumped in, “Incredible stamina, and…”

The pair stepped aside to reveal Mr. X, clad in his usual black and gold ensemble as he held his hands up in an “X” motion, “Expert knowledge of every inch!”

During the explanation, the four boys had been kind enough to put on large plastic shields, covering their necks up to their heads, at their boss’ request. 

“Why are we wearing dog cones?” Kendall asked, as soon as he was sure their boss had finished his spiel. Though he had put it on voluntarily, he seemed very upset at the prospect of continuing to keep it on. 

They knew they could say no… Right?

Since Roxy already had a bit of stage experience, the adults were being far kinder to her than her inexperienced peers. 

“Because during your concert, you got to… Look at your fans! Not your feet!” The producer said, ending his statement into the microphone with a sing-songy tone. 

Almost immediately, the four of them tried to pivot their necks downward to glance at their shoes and were blocked by the large white cones. 

Mr. X, taking a running start, lept off the stage in a fit of flare and landed in front of the five, “And to avoid extreme injury, you have to know without thinking and see without looking.”

He then quickly ushered the boy band up onto the stage, asking them to practice one of the dances they had previously put together for “Famous.” For the time being, the assistant got to stand off to the side with her bosses, watching as her band prepared themselves to take the stage by storm.

From the middle of the line the boys had formed, Logan called out, “What if we have an itch?” “Don’t!” Gustavo was swift to answer. 

Asking the band to get in their places, the four stood in a straight line, legs spread and arms behind their backs as Mr. X pressed the play button on the speaker beside him.  

“Famous” began to blast out, and the boys executed the beginning of the routine to perfection. Once they began to move about the stage, however, the collars around their necks severely impacted their vision, causing them to run into each other and the props around the stage. Even through the distractions, the four did their best to push through, until Carlos and Logan managed to get themselves tangled up with the drum kit in a booming mess at the back of the stage. 

The crashing and clattering of cymbals rang in Roxy’s ears as she said a silent prayer to whatever forces may be the band would not take her out once she hit the stage with them. Decapitation via cymbal certainly was not how she wanted to end up crossing the rainbow bridge.

“They actually lasted longer than I expected.” Mr. X shared with a shrug of his golden shoulders. Reaching for the “play” button once more, he yelled out, “Again!”

Taking their places like before, the band lined up, and “Famous” played again - until the drum kit took out Logan and Carlos once more. Then again - until Logan crashed into one of the amps. Again - until the band did an entirely different, wrong, dance routine. And again - until Logan was crushed between Carlos and Kendall before nearly being thrown off stage. Again - until Kendall took a nasty spill to the floor. Then again - until Carlos found himself tangled in the microphone cord and spun himself off the stage. 

As their brutal practice continued, Roxy ran out into the lounge to pick up some cold water, towels, and a first aid kit in case one of the boys managed to hurt themselves badly from all of their bumps and tumbles. 

When she came back, Kelly and Gustavo had started a game of cards and were kind enough to deal her in, though she politely declined. There was something endearing about watching her friends try and nail their routine, even if they kept hitting roadblocks along the way. 

They want this just as much as I do.

At one point, James had performed a beautiful backflip at the end of the routine, and she finally thought they had perfected it. When she let out a little cheer though, he looked up to find where the sound was coming from with a goofy, satisfied grin and managed to knock himself off balance into the instrument rack behind him. 

After a few more tries, the band pretty much had the routine down, and the pair instructed Roxy to grab a guitar and hit the stage with the band. There was a mark on the floor, taped off with her name on stage right, which she eagerly stood upon, guitar strapped around her shoulder. 

From below, the producer let out a wicked smile. 

“Lastly, the spotlight test…”

What that meant, she didn’t know, but as the “Famous” track began to play, she went along as well, taking the lead. Once again, the band executed their dance near-expertly, and in no time, the track had come to an end. Each of the boys took their final posing spots on center stage, with the girl still in her section behind them. 

When they finished, Gustavo wheeled out a large, white spotlight and flipped it on, directly into the boy’s faces. Understandably, they were immediately blinded, and let out many cries of pain to prove it. In their attempts to avoid the horrible shine, they managed to slip off the top of the stage and onto the studio floor, leaving their assistant standing all alone, squinting through the pain. 

After a few more moments, Gustavo flipped the light off and Roxy noticed her friends writhing around on the floor, still coned. Gently, she set her guitar back onto the instrument rack and made her way to the edge of the stage, sitting down and swinging her legs while they had time to recover.

“Now, to the hard part of your training.” Gustavo shared as if the last few hours of practice hadn’t been grueling enough. 

“Awesome!” and “Sounds great, man!” came muffled from a few of the band members before Logan screamed, “Run!”

I guess that haven’t taken to training just yet.

Within seconds of the declaration, Roxy felt herself get yanked from the stage and made off after the guys as Logan clutched her wrist, dragging her and the rest of his friends out into the Rocque Records lounge area. 

Once the band thought they were free, they ripped the collars off, leaving them strewn about the white furniture, and didn’t stop running until they reached their old classroom-turned-supply closet. Roxy, dragged inside with her friends, really wasn’t sure what was going on, but once Kendall closed and locked the door behind him, the haggard looks on the boy's faces told her everything she needed to know. 

 “Hiding’s not gonna solve anything,” The frontman said as if he wasn’t trying to block the door with his entire body weight. 

Throwing his arms up in exasperation, James breathed, “No, but it will temporarily keep us alive,” A scared chuckle passed his lips, “And I don’t know about you, but I like living!”

His loud words bounced off the walls of the small closet, lingering in everyone’s ears. 

“I thought training was kind of fun,” Carlos shared with an optimistic smile. 

“Same here,” The girl shared, just to push their buttons a bit. 

With a roll of his eyes, Logan turned to his friend, who was missing his usual helmet accessory, “That’s your concussion talking.”

Almost immediately, Carlos’ knees gave out and he crashed into his assistant, needing lots of help continuing to stand. 

Checking to make sure he was still holding the door, Kendall’s eyes widened, “Look, guys, Gustavo might be loud, mean, obnoxious, self-absorbed… unattractive…”

“Get to the point!” The remaining three clearly demanded, though Carlos was able to weakly ask, “Put it in hockey terms.”

“In two weeks we have the biggest game of our lives. We have to train our asses off for it, or we could lose. No matter how rough the first period was, we have to get back on the ice.”

It was a wholesome, inspiring comment, and now, because of all the hockey the boys made her watch, she was able to grasp most of the terminology, and Kendall seemed very proud of himself for putting it together. That was, until Freight Train burst through the locked door with a resounding crack! and sent the blond screaming in fear toward his friends. 

“Hey! Gustavo wants -” 

“We’re coming, we’re coming!” The band promised, holding out their hands in defense, finally concluding that even if practice was grueling, it was necessary. 

The absence of protest confused the large man in front of them, “Really? Oh, well… One of you want a ride back to the stage?”

Eagerly, Carlos stepped forward and jumped into Freight Trains' arms, where he was carried bridal style all the way back to Studio A. 

The band was made to line up on the stage once more, Roxy joining them from her mark as well. 

It’s kind of fun to look down on Gustavo like this…

“Okay!” He called, interrupting her thoughts. “Time for fan preparedness training with the number one teen idol-”

“The what?” She found herself asking aloud, gripping the neck of her guitar a bit tighter as she noticed a familiar flash of brown hair emerge from the hallway. 

Gustavo offered her a confused look, holding out his hand to present his guest, “Dak Zevon!”

Her blood ran cold, shock nearly sending her collapsing into the loud, concert-grade speakers behind her. Watching in horror as the idol slowly sauntered to the middle of the studio to shake Gustavo and Kelly’s hands, he didn’t look all that thrilled to be there either. 

Before he could say anything, Roxy set her guitar down and zoomed off the stage, rapidly approaching her ex-boyfriend before any of her friends could stop her. 

When Dak saw the way she squinted towards him and tightened her jaw, he knew he was in for trouble, especially when she reached out towards him and balled her fist in the collar of his black jacket, dragging him straight back out into the hallway from which he came. 

Not caring how loud she was, or who heard what she had to say, she pulled him into the lunge area and pushed him backward onto one of the many white couches, standing with arms crossed in front of him. It was almost impossible to tune out the sound of her pounding heart ripping through her chest.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” 

“Trust me, Roxy,” He snarled through gritted teeth. “I’d rather be anywhere else in the fucking world if I could.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged, considering you’re probably dating half the population of this town.” 

Dak sucked in a breath, closing his eyes and running his hands down his face in exasperation. His usual, teen idol charm had been washed away; big superstar smiles replaced with snarls; perfect, charming lines replaced with crude language. This was who he truly was, not the boy she had been dating, and she was so much better off without him. 

And she had been doing just fine forgetting all about him, until his unexpected arrival at her place of work this afternoon. 

“My manager was… pissed when you dissolved Colossal Studio’s Varsity Vampire contract with Rocque Records. They lost a lot of time and money that day, and I wasn’t able to replace either.”

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that instead of shoving your tongue down Victoria Hodgkiss' throat.”

“Would you just-” The idol bit, before taking a deep breath as though he was calming himself down. “All I’m trying to do is make up with Gustavo and get the contract back to appease my manager and Colossal, so he said I could come to teach your stupid band and we’d revisit the deal after. Since he learned you ended it he’s been very persistent in not allowing it to be reinstated; this is my last chance at making everyone happy.”

Knowing that Gustavo had her back normally would have been very touching to the assistant, had she not currently been standing, trying to conceal the angry shaking of her hands, in front of the boy who tore her heart out mere weeks ago. 

Throughout their time in Hollywood, there had only been one time where Gustavo hadn’t led them down the right path - the girl shuttered at the thought of the time she thought he stole her song - and even then he did it in the hope of helping her learn more about the music industry. Right now, her band was in the middle of one of the most intense training sessions of their lives and their producer was doing everything in his power to make it the best it could be. 

There had to be a reason he invited Dak here, even knowing that something had happened between the idol and his writer. 

Gustavo’s put a lot of faith in me… Maybe it’s time for me to give some back.

“You’re here to help them?” She asked, vaguely pointing towards the studio. It was getting harder to keep her cool, and she had avoided looking him straight in the face during their entire conversation. “You’re not going to give them any bogus tips or wrong information? None of the other thousands of record producers in Hollywood will make a contract with you?”

“You and I both know there’s no one better than Gustavo, Roxy. I’m here to help myself, don’t get this twisted.”

“Fine, but if anything happens, I’ll just go let Gustavo know all about your dating habits. One of his best friends works for People, you know. Good luck getting any kind of record deal in this town after that little piece of information leaks.” 

That was a bald-faced lie; she had no idea about the kind of company her boss kept, if any, but at the prospect of having an unsavory piece of information leaked to the press about his two-timing, Dak paled a bit. 

Though he tried to keep his cool, his eyes shifted nervously around the room, landing on four figures emerging from the other room. 

When he didn’t serve her any kind of response, she moved to turn around, hoping he wouldn’t call her bluff. It would be nice if that kind of information would bring his career crashing and burning to the ground, but he’d probably just be marked as Hollywood’s youngest playboy; in fact, it might even increase his popularity. 

Rotten little bas-

Before she entered the doorway to Studio A, the idol angrily called out, “Roxanne!” 

“Say my name like that again and I swear it’ll be the last thing you ever speak.” She growled, whipping back around to face him. “If you want this record deal, I need you to tell me that you’re going to head back into that studio, act like your charming, perfect idol self is who you really are, and give my friends the information they need to become excellent performers. I’ll be professional, you’ll be professional, and we put this entire thing behind us… If not, I’ll head back in there myself and ask Logan to decorate your other eye. Got it?”

“...Got it.” The boy mumbled, moving to stand up and make his way back to where they had come from, eyes cast to the floor. 

Once he popped back through the door and out of her sight, her text tone rang.

Buzz

K: Just give us the word, we’ll kick his ass. 

R: I think we’ve come to an agreement. Milk him for all hes worth.

R: Sure hes a p.o.s. human, but hes one of the best performers on the planet

R: Plus I may have threatened him a bit

C: We heard. you were really loud

J: Gustavo and Kelly heard

L: Freight Train heard! You should see how he’s looking at Dak right now.

R: Tell G+K I’m sitting this practice out will you?

L: You’ve got it. We’ll do our best to use his knowledge to become better performers. 

R: The best revenge I can ask for is BTR becoming bigger and better than Dak Zevon will ever be

***

After an emergency moral support conference call with Jo and Camille in her boss’ unoccupied office, Roxy finally found the courage to head into the studio and check on the band’s progress. They hated Dak just as much as she did, but she hoped that some of his teachings would get through to them and make them better performers. This tour and album release was bigger than her, bigger than any of them, and it meant so much to their careers as future artists. It would be stupid to ruin such a beautiful thing over a dumb guy who broke her heart. 

Thankfully, when she emerged from her hiding place, she found Dak was long gone, and the boys were finally able to have a moment of rest in the lounge area outside of the office. Gustavo, Kelly, and Freight Train were having a small meeting on the other side of the room, while the band sprawled themselves out on the couch. Whatever Dak had taught them had taken its toll. 

A paramedic was currently wrapping a large, white bandage around a protesting Carlos’ head. Of course, today had to be the one day he had decided to forgo wearing his helmet. Next to him, both Kendall and Logan wore slings on opposite arms, though Kendall seemed to be taking the brunt of the misfortune as a police officer was currently trying to detach a crazed, screaming girl from around his neck. And beside that, paying no mind to anything going on around him, was James, trying to figure out how to wiggle his fingers through the thick layer of medical bandages stretching over his wrist and hands. 

“Boys, I am proud of you,” Addressed their boss, finally breaking out of the little team huddle he had with the other adults. “This concert is gonna take BTR to the next level and you have your first dress rehearsal in three days!” “And we want you to invite all of your friends from the Palm Woods so you can practice your stage swagger.” Added Kelly, who tossed about 20 laminated Big Time Rush V.I.P. passes toward the assistant. 

Eagerly catching them, the girl sat down on the armrest of Carlos’ chair, ready to hear more about their upcoming rehearsal. 

At the sight of the passes dangling in his assistant’s hands, her friend took this to be the end of their training for the day, “Roxy? You’re gonna drive us back to the Palm Woods, right?” 

Nearly forgetting today was the first day the band had taken their new car to work, she traded the passes she was holding for the car keys in her bag. Twirling them around her finger, she nodded, trying to figure out how to usher four injured boys safely into the vehicle, sparing any bloodshed on the car’s perfect, white leather seats. 

Before she could answer, Mr. X popped out of nowhere, running from the studio and into the room with Team BTR, waving his hands in an “X” motion, “No! A concert can last two hours, and you’ll need more endurance than a marathon runner carrying a cow!”

“Which is why you’ll be running back to the Palm Woods, carrying these microphones.” Their boss shared, he and Kelly holding up 4 mics, completely disregarding his heavily injured band. 

When the four were tossed the equipment, they didn’t mask their cries of pain when they managed to catch them.

Pulling a megaphone out from the box of equipment beside him, Gustavo eagerly shouted, “Move, move, move it!” and the band immediately scrambled to their feet. 

Feeling bad, their assistant slung her bag over her shoulder and quickly tied her hair up into a ponytail. Though her Vans didn’t make great running shoes, at least her shorts and t-shirt were semi-workout gear related. If she had to be on stage for just as long as her band did, she might as well make the trip in solidarity. Hopefully, her mornings in the gym with Jo would start paying off. 

Trailing after her friends, probably running after them for the first time without one of them dragging her by the wrist, she smiled as they made their way down the many, many flights of stairs and out the doors of the building. When they got home, exhausted as they may be, they’d get to share the great news about the album and tour with all their friends and invite them to their special rehearsal. For their first concert crowd to be filled with all the people that helped shape their journey… It was going to be a wonderful, fulfilling experience. 

The Palm Woods wasn’t far from Rocque Records by any means, but the band were in far worse shape than Roxy had originally thought. They had made it nearly there before having to take a break, walking for a couple of blocks before picking up their original pace once more - only made worse by the fact they were singing the setlist songs as well. 

About 5 minutes from home, the assistant called Jo and Camille again, making sure the boys didn’t collapse from exhaustion first and asked her friends to come meet the guys in the lobby so they could share the news. 

“Are you guys gonna make it the next two weeks to your concert?” 

Finally, the band had managed to make it all the way to the pool area of the hotel before collapsing into the heavily padded patio furniture. 

Jo’s question was more than fair, and the concerned looks covering her and Camille’s faces suggested they weren’t hiding their feelings about how terrible the boys looked after their day of training. Gently, the two girls handed their friends a few water bottles, hoping that if anything they could help them stay hydrated. 

While their assistant gulped down as much of the bottle as she could, she felt a few drops of water trickle down her arm when the boys next to her managed to dump the bottles over their heads to cool off in the hot L.A. sun. 

“Yep,” Kendall reassured her, hair now dripping from the soaking wet bath the boys had given themselves. “And it’s gonna rock!”

“And you and all the Palm Woods are invited to our dress rehearsal.”

Digging the passes out of her backpack as Logan finished speaking, Roxy passed her two friends each one of their own. “Mind passing out some of the extras?”

“Cool!” Camille beamed, admiring the “All Access” tagline at the bottom of the laminate. “We’re V.I.P.’s!” With a laugh, Jo placed the pass in her pocket, accepting the extra ones from the assistant as well, “Someday we’ll be able to say we knew them when…”

“Hey! Someday is today!” James exclaimed, standing up from his seat to face his friends. After the water bottle shower, his hair and clothes were dripping from pure saturation. 

Though she was listening, Roxy may have had to look in the opposite direction once she found herself tracing the outline of his white tank top under his now see-through button-up.

“I have dreamed about this for so long and it’s finally gonna happen!”

Someday is today… Someday is today!

Reaching into her bag to pull out her songbook, the assistant completely ignored the screaming fan girl that had latched onto Kendall earlier dive straight into James. 

They were big boys, they’d figure it out. For now, she had part of a song to write. 

Twirling the pen a few times between her fingers to try and drown out the commotion around her, she finally caught her bearings and scribbled out a verse. 

Someday it will come together, 

Someday we will work it out,

I know we can turn it up all the way, ‘cause this is our someday.

Someday is what we make it,

Someday is right here and now.

Why wait? Why wait?

‘Cause this is our someday

Definitely the longest verse that had ever come to her on a whim, she anxiously wrote as fast as she could while the verse kept replaying in her head. There was another verse she had written somewhere a few pages back with a similar vibe, and a hard, rock guitar melody was playing in the background of her brain - muddling her thoughts even further. 

Not meaning to be rude, but not wanting to listen to whatever her friends were talking about at the moment, the girl took off through the pool area, racing straight back up to her room. 

When she finally had some peace and quiet, she was able to fully write out the guitar melody she was hearing play in the background, writing out the messy staffs on the next free page in her book. 

Just like her friends, these next two weeks would need to be full of her own hard work to polish off her new song, and more than ever before, Roxy was thrilled about what their hard work would bring. Big Time Rush were finally about to carve themselves into Hollywood history, and she was so lucky to be a part of something so great. 

I hope the band feels the same way about working with me.

***

Two weeks of intense training went by like a flash, and before any of the teens even realized it, their first concert performance was coming to an end. The assistant had even been able to finish her song, “This Is Our Someday” and was fortunate enough to have it added to the setlist for their dress rehearsal. 

A crowd of all their friends from the Palm Woods, as well as Griffin and a few of his executives, along with Kelly, Gustavo, and Freight Train, were the first to witness Big Time Rush live and in person. 

Ten songs were played that night; “Big Time Rush,” “Famous,” “Shot in the Dark,” A cover of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles, “Any Kind of Guy,” “City is Ours,” “Halfway There,” “Count on You,” “Stuck,” finishing on the newly completed “This Is Our Someday,” with each performance better than the last as the band grew more and more confidence from the crowd and each other. 

The boys survived all their dance training, harmony practice, crazed fan girls rushing the stage, quick-time costume changes, and not once did anyone manage to get stuck in the mosh pit. 

Every time Roxy witnessed her friends push through one of the challenges thrown their way, she wanted to find any cause for celebration she could but remained rooted in place towards the back of the stage with the other members of the live band. Big Time Rush weren’t the only four being tested during the show. 

Jo and Camille were right there, center stage, no doubt an excellent source of inspiration for Kendall and Logan, but their smiling faces and clapping hands served as a motivator for the assistant as well. With each song, more and more members of the crowd sang along - knowing all the words to the songs Roxy had written - and it just about blew her mind. 

On the end chord of their final song, Roxy didn’t place a hand on the strings of her guitar to stop the reverb from blasting through the speakers. Letting the sound emanate and simmer out as the crowd cheered louder than they ever had, watching the boys take their positions for the final bow, seeing their boss’ proud faces from the back of the concert venue… It was nearly too much for her. 

We did it. Was all she could think as she gripped the pick in her hand tighter, before absentmindedly flicking it into the crowd. She didn’t even feel the pressure or pain she normally would on her fingertips after playing so intensely for so long. 

When Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James, dipped into gracious bows, their assistant just about lost it. A stream of tears poured down her cheeks that she didn’t even bother to hide; all she could think about was how she could show them how much they meant to her and how pivotal they had been on her musical journey. Paying for dinner at whatever restaurant they spotted first felt like a great idea; she had sure worked up an appetite. 

Once the cheering died down, Griffin stepped forward from the huddle of adults in the back of the room, calling out a few “bravo!” cheers here and there. 

“Watching you boys go from nobodies to somebodies has been more thrilling than hunting humans, which is why it hurts me to say the album, tour, and this concert… are canceled.”

Shocked murmurs ran through the crowd, and for a moment, Roxy wondered if her in-ear monitors hadn’t done as good a job of blocking out the sound from the speaker right beside her as they should have. 

He’s kidding, right? This must be another test to see how the band reacts to bad news.

A comforting thought, but not one that kept her stomach from painfully twisting at the prospect of having everything they had worked so hard towards be canceled in the blink of an eye. 

Safe to say, no one reacted well.

Choruses of “What?!” came from Kelly and Gustavo, from the band, the crowd, from their friends, from Katie… and Roxy just stood in the corner of the stage, alone and petrified. 

“What?” Griffin responded, caught up in the frenzy before clearing his throat and correcting himself. “I mean, yeah. Big Time Rush is dead!” 

Those five words were all it took to knock the air completely out of the writer's lungs. For a moment her vision blurred beyond that of normal tears, and she had enough foresight to set her guitar down before she felt her legs give out and completely collapse to the floor. 

She came to a few minutes later, cradled in someone’s arms, but still unable to catch her bearings through cloudy eyes. All she could hear at the moment was some sort of back-and-forth between the band and the CEO, but was too weak to do anything but pull whoever was holding her a bit tighter. 

“What do you mean Big Time Rush is dead?”

Everyone spoke at once, voices melding together in the assistant’s mind, mixing in her senses with a familiar tropical cologne, fueling a monster headache. 

Across from where they stood, Griffin snorted. “Accounting has just released their risk and feasibility report on Big Time Rush, and they decided it’s too risky and not feasible.”

“We’re shifting our strategy to children’s books on tape. No tour support is required. They have a higher profit margin and are super cheap to make.” A new, shrill voice shared - sounding like one of the female marketing executives the band had worked with before. 

This was enough to get the girl to fully open her eyes and turn her head to see who was speaking, only to find herself nearly nose-to-nose with James. Neither of them said anything, just looking at each other for a moment, while they tried to process everything that was going on around them. 

Like she imagined the rest of the band to be, his eyes were bloodshot, presumably due to serious lack of sleep, cheeks gaunt, beautiful tan paled… The nerves settling in her chest flared up again, but this time she didn’t think they were for the right reasons. 

Beyond any protest, Griffin continued, “Which is why tomorrow, Gustavo will be producing ‘Can You Foo?’ as read by actor-environmentalist Ed Begley Jr.” 

I’ll take my foo and shove it up his-

“But, Griffin,” James spoke up, securing his assistant a bit tighter in his arms. “This is our someday!”

“Close! It’s your last day. Sorry, Fellas, Roxanne, I like you; I do. But as we say in business… That’s business.”

More murmuring erupted through the crowd and Roxy desperately tried to seek out her other friends. Sensing this, James gently set her back down on her feet but still kept his arm firmly around her shoulders for support. Her legs still felt like jelly as she leaned into him, racking her brain to try and figure out something, anything, that could save her band. 

That’s what assistants did. Yet, unlike every problem she and the band had managed to solve before, she was drawing a major blank.

“Mr. Griffin,” She weakly called, trying to move so she could be seen behind Gustavo’s frame. “There is no way you believe this is the right business decision. This band has shown you again, and again, and again how hard they’re willing to work to get you the results you want. Is a crowd filling the floor of this concert venue, screaming along to the words of their songs not enough to throw your cost-benefit-analysis bull out the window? We have been and will continue to do anything to prove to you how badly we want this!” 

“Ah, when did you start studying business, Miss Somerset?” He asked, peering down over her boss’ shoulder at her. 

When Roxy didn’t end up answering him, glancing down at the floor instead at his words, he let out a small chuckle.

“That’s what I thought… You don’t get to be in my position without having to make the tough calls, and my call right now is Big Time Rush is dead.” 

“You can’t do this!” An unexpected shout came from the producer in front of her, once again adding to the list of things causing the worst stress headache Roxy had ever had. “We've been working our butts off! Our concert is in one week!”

“Don’t worry,” Griffin cooed, a chilling smile breaking out on his face as he peered over his now ex-employees. “That’s why I’m giving all of you… fruit baskets!” 

In the entire span of their conversation, the writer had gone through denial, anger, and bargaining, and was now feeling a shift into mind-numbing depression. As Griffin walked away, signaling nothing else could be said or done about their situation she leaned into James’ shoulder and tried to mask the violent sobs that began to rip through her body. Gently, he wrapped his other arm around her, kindly giving her the open flap of his jacket to obscure her face with. 

Right in front of them, Griffin had sat back and watched the progress her band had made from their first day in Los Angeles all those months ago. Those four boys had grown into talented singers, incredible dancers, and better people than they had been back in Minnesota. Being in Big Time Rush gave them a purpose far greater than playing high school hockey and hoping to maybe hit the major leagues one day. They had finally reached and attained their goals together, only to have it ripped right out from under them. 

Eventually, she felt James try to guide her towards the venue’s exit, but she just gripped his jacket tighter in her hands, knuckles turning a painful white. At some point, she was ushered into a stretch limousine that had been reserved in anticipation for a celebratory night out on the town but was now ready to take them back to the Palm Woods, where they’d spend their last night before being sent back to Minnesota. 

Inside, James’ shoulder turned into Kendall’s, then Carlos’, and finally Logan’s, who did his best to get her out of the limo and into the hotel with him once they had arrived. By the time they reached 2-J, he pulled her into the room he shared with Carlos and gave her his bed. He had sensed she shouldn’t be alone tonight and set up his own makeshift bed on the floor beside her. 

It was all so disorienting and she moved as slow and shakily as a zombie. Roxy felt so sick, gross, disgusting… Like she was the biggest failure on the planet. Not only had she let herself down, but she had also let her friends down by not fighting Griffin back harder. 

Maybe if my songs were better, or the melodies were smoother. I knew I should have practiced piano more… Should I have given Kendall’s verse in ‘Any Kind of Guy’ to Carlos? Or maybe it should have been a ballad instead… I’m the worst songwriter-assistant in the entire world.

As she lay tucked under Logan’s covers for the remainder of the night, she clutched his hand in her own as it dangled off the side of the mattress, taking comfort in the small galaxy of glow stars on the ceiling above her, dreading the moment the sun would rise the next day. 

***

Whatever moving company Kelly had ended up hiring made quick work of Roxy’s apartment, placing everything she owned in boxes and hauling it down to the large truck waiting outside. It had been difficult for her to part with her tape player, many shoeboxes full of the old music formats, and her instruments; she didn’t even know how many “fragile” stickers she had placed on the sides of the boxes they’d be transported in. The only thing she hadn’t allowed the movers to take was her acoustic guitar, which was far too precious to leave in the hands of another person. For most of the time they had spent packing, she had managed to keep them out of her room as she placed the most important items she owned in her suitcase and carry-on. Second only to when the band and their assistant had first arrived in Los Angeles, her room felt so much bigger without her numerous posters and pictures lining the walls. They would be as protected as they had been when they had first moved, in a large, flat folder that was nearly impossible to bend; despite the fact the number of wall decorations she had nearly doubled as she had put up as many Big Time Rush posters as she could find and images of her new friends she had taken.

As the girl finished her final task, clearing out her closet, she received countless text messages from Jo and Camille. Since the band and their assistant had helped Camille find a way to stay in Hollywood through their music video, the two girls had been blowing up her phone with ideas to help convince Griffin Big Time Rush was worth saving. It was a sweet gesture, but Roxy felt so exhausted she couldn’t even muster up a response - simply allowing the group chat the three of them were in together to fill up with unread messages.

By the time she had handed her last bag off to the movers, she felt sick to her stomach. She needed to get out of her empty apartment immediately. Grabbing her suitcase, guitar, and mini-backpack, she allowed her feet to carry her into 2-J, which was packed to the brim with brown boxes containing Big Time Rush merchandise Katie had been planning to sell outside the concert the band was supposed to perform in six days. 

Though the writer was barely able to squeeze her way through the treacherous brown trail, eventually she found herself in the middle of the apartment where Carlos was packing what looked like the last of his clothing into a large duffel bag. Beside him, Katie was going through a box of hats she had purchased, trying unsuccessfully to pack the inconveniently shaped merchandise back inside. 

Once the young girl noticed Roxy walk in, she let out a little groan to try and garner some sympathy, “Great! I just spent 3,000 bucks making t-shirts, posters, and hats on a band that doesn’t even exist!”

This had no effect on the older girl who passed Katie by to take a seat next to Carlos on the orange sectional. Though the boy was packing, he placed a comforting arm around his friend’s shoulders and pulled her into his side before glancing over his shoulder at Katie, “I’ll take a hat. It’ll be a nice memory of what almost was.”

“That’ll be $3,000.” The young businesswoman deadpanned. 

In lieu of a response, Carlos flopped the hat down onto Roxy’s head and got back to his packing. 

From across the way, the girl noticed Mrs. Knight packing up the dishes in the kitchen, before aggressively pounding her fist on the bathroom door. 

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“James! The moving van is coming. You have to come out of the bathroom!”

When the door opened, the wannabe emerged, completely panic-stricken. 

Seems like he hasn’t made it past grief stage 1.

“I am dreaming.” The boy stated, as if he were trying to convince himself their situation wasn’t as terrible as it was. “You are not real. Ha! The concert’s in a week!”

A few more bouts of crazed laughter and James slammed the bathroom door, locking himself inside. Apparently, he wasn’t taking to their situation as well as Roxy thought he was. 

“Classic denial response,” Katie observed, crossing her arms as she eyed a few more of her merch boxes. “It’s sad really.”

From the kitchen, her mother scoffed, continuing to gently pack their cookware. “Katie, you need to pack your things too!”

“I’m dreaming. You’re not real! The concert’s in one week!” 

Screaming similarly to James, Katie used her mother’s shock and confusion at her words to run between a few towering stacks of boxes to obscure her from view and skirt her responsibilities.

Buzz buzz

At the sound of her text tone going off, Roxy was quick to pull out her phone and examine the messages she had been trying to ignore all morning. Anywhere was better than the mess of 2-J at the moment. 

J: SOS! Pool emergency!!

C: need you down here NOW

 In a matter of seconds, the girl was up off the couch and barreling down towards the Palm Woods pool. Though only for a moment, her own personal worries were temporarily suspended and completely crowded with concern for her friends. On top of having to part ways with their best friend, both of them were losing their boyfriends as well. 

When I told them about the tour they said that they were more than fine with long distance… Do Kendall and Logan think otherwise?

As Roxy reached the deck and made her way into the hot, summer sun, she spied the two girls sitting under one of the green umbrella-covered tables towards the back of the pool. Both of them looked to be alright, and nothing was going on around them, but the writer approached with caution just in case. 

When Jo spotted her friend, she tapped Camille on the shoulder and each of them placed one item on the table. A strawberry banana smoothie from the café and a large, red, cloth-bound book filled Roxy’s vision as she took the empty chair across from the pair. 

“Hey…” Jo stated hesitantly, not quite looking Roxy in the eye. “We know the last few hours have been a bit rough but-”

“Surprise!” 

Cutting the other girl off, Camille pushed the drink and the book in front of the writer, expectantly looking back and forth between the items. 

Confused, but grateful her friends were trying to cheer her up during such a hard time, Roxy carefully opened the cover of the book and found the first picture the three girls had ever taken together taped down on the first page. 

After a particularly harrowing episode of Vampire Diaries, the trio had decided to make a midnight pilgrimage to Inside-Out Burger for some consolation fries and milkshakes. The three of them had squeezed into one side of a small booth in order to take the image, as evidenced by Roxy, two fries hanging out of her mouth, practically sitting on Jo’s lap as the blonde girl pretended to kiss her on the cheek. Beside them, Camille was showing off her milkshake to her camera with a wink and a bright smile. 

Underneath, there was a small note written in Jo’s handwriting.

Inside-Out Night! Love you to the “moo” and back <3

“We were going to wait until your birthday,” Camille said as the writer looked up at her two friends, eyes wide. “But now seemed like a more appropriate time.”

Wordlessly, Roxy continued to flip through the pages, finding them filled with the pictures the three girls had taken and shared with each other over their months together in Los Angeles - each paired with an adorable caption. Her mind swirling with memories of the past, from days lounging by the pool, to the time Roxy and the band had snuck the girls into the studio at Rocque Records, to the long nights spent at each other’s apartments gushing about music and auditions and life… The feelings of gratitude and love washing over her were nearly too much to bear; having this book handmade just for her made her feel so supported and cared for.

Though it was hard, once she reached the blank pages in the back, Roxy looked up through her misty eyes at her best friends. Completely forgetting about her smoothie, she reached both her hands out to grab her friend’s, “Thank you both, so, so, so much. This is the best gift I’ve ever received.”

Upon hearing that, her friends breathed out sighs of relief. 

How could they have been worried? This is perfect.

Smiling wide, but sorrowful, Jo shared, “We know there’s a lot of blanks, but we figured we can fill them up when we come to visit you!” 

“Like… In Minnesota?” 

“Duh,” Camille half-giggled, squeezing the girl’s hand. “I’ve wanted to visit there since you showed me the pictures on your walls… Duluth looks so charming!” 

Charming certainly wasn’t the word Roxy would use to describe her hometown, but maybe her two friends would be able to breathe some new life into her nothing-town. 

“I promise to call, text, video-chat, write, everything, as often as I can.” Assured the writer. “Besides going back to school in the fall I can’t think of anything that will keep me busy… Oh! And we’ve got a pull-out couch in our living room where you guys can sleep whenever you want to come…”

Her anxious rambling continued, listing off every little thing she could think of to help make her goodbye any easier until she noticed Kendall and Logan making their way down the small stretch of the pool to the table the girls were sitting at. 

“Ah, it looks like my time is up,” Roxy said, voice nearly dropping to a whisper. 

Carefully, she picked up the scrapbook, tucking it under her arm as she stood up and faced Jo and Camille. Almost instantaneously, her friends stood up as well, tackling her into a tight group hug. 

If there was one moment in her life Roxy could relive for the rest of her days, it would have been that; there was no better feeling than Jo and Camille holding her close, trying to pour every ounce of love they had into one hug. 

“I love you both endlessly.” Roxy breathed, doing her best to remember the warm feeling. “Thank you for making my stay in Hollywood unforgettable.” 

As she pulled away, she did her best to keep a straight face; too many tears had been shed over the last 12 hours, and she didn’t want her friends’ last memory to be one of her crying. It appeared as though the other girls were attempting to do the same, dabbing at their eyes to try and hide the trail streaming down their faces. 

“We love you too,” Whispered Camille. “And we’ll miss you!”

With a nod, Jo agreed, “It won’t be the same here when you’re gone.”

Whether or not he was trying to save her from the awkwardness of a final goodbye, or he just really wanted to talk to Jo, Kendall broke the silence that followed the girl’s comments with something Roxy didn’t really hear. The girl was too focused on keeping her composure, tightly gripping the photo album in her hands, as she made her way back into the hotel. 

I just can’t believe we’re going back to Minnesota.

***

Roxy’s situational disbelief ended the moment she stepped foot into LAX. 

Be it from the sadness eating away at her thoughts, the anxiety she felt about stepping on a plane, or the self-loathing creeping in from the back of her mind, almost immediately she nervously clasped her hand into Logan’s as they weaved in and out through the countless other travelers. All around them, it seemed like everyone’s emotions were amplified nearly tenfold as they navigated their way past security and to the airplane gate.

To their left, a crying toddler was trying to tell his mother he had left his favorite stuffed animal on their plane, to their right, a large family clad in matching orange “Alvarez Family Reunion” t-shirts chattered about how excited they were to spend their next week in Disneyland. In the security line, a woman was openly yelling at a T.S.A. agent about how many ounces were in her very obviously too-large shampoo bottle. By the gate, an elderly couple were discussing the fastest route to Duluth’s biggest hospital from the airport to meet their new granddaughter.  

Everyone else’s stories interested Roxy far more than her own, so she quietly listened in hoping maybe she’d find some sort of inspiration for a miracle song that could keep them in Los Angeles before their plane boarded in half an hour. Beyond that, she didn’t register much beyond the horrible feeling rooting in her stomach.

When a song never ended up occurring to the writer, and the seven silently trudged to their seats in the back of the airplane, the three-by-three seat layout separated Roxy, who needed to be on the aisle for easy restroom access, and Logan, who won the rock-paper-scissors match that determined who got one of the two window seats. 

As Mrs. Knight graciously took a seat in the row behind the teens and her daughter; Katie, another window seat winner, James, and Kendall took one section, while Roxy, Carlos, and Logan took the other.

For the duration of the entire flight, Carlos was undoubtedly Roxy’s savior. It took only 20 minutes in the air until the girl had to hastily unbuckle her belt and run to the bathroom to drain the contents of her stomach. Yet, when she came back to her seat she found he had asked a flight attendant for motion sickness medication and moved the armrest dividing their space so she could snuggle into his shoulder and try to sleep her sickness away. 

When that didn’t work and she got up for the second time about halfway through, she came back to him offering up one of his earbuds so they could listen to a mix he had made of his current favorite hip hop and Latin hits to try and distract her from her discomfort. Every once and a while he would rattle off a fact about the song’s artist or a memory he had associated with it, which Roxy found entertaining, as long as it took her mind off her unsettled stomach.

Nearly seven hours later, when she was finally able to exit the plane and run to the bathroom in the Duluth International Airport, Carlos was quick to pick up her mini backpack and guitar to safeguard until she made it back to the group. 

At this point in her travels, she had been hoping to call her dad to come pick her up from the airport and save her the embarrassment of breaking down in front of her band, but he was caught up with some unexpected work at the mine. Fortunately, the airport had a shuttle to take the large group, but the driver claimed to only be able to make one stop before his shift ended. 

Finding herself now standing outside the Sherwood grocery store with all her possessions, Roxy was trying to determine the fastest way she could get home. The act of the seven of them ending their journey right in the same place it had begun was brutal, and affecting the girl far more than she would like to admit. 

Taxi, taxi, taxi… She reminded herself, as she tried to pull her phone out of her back pocket while juggling her suitcase, mini backpack, and guitar case. Humidity from the lake a few miles away radiated in the air, filling her nose with the familiar scent as she focused on the small screen. 

“Okay-” Kendall began, clapping his hands, before he was swiftly cut off by James.

“This dream is so real!” Nervous laughter ran off the tall boy in waves as he put his arms around Kendall and Carlos’ shoulders. “This totally looks like Minnesota!” 

In front of them, a man wearing a red Sherwood apron was gathering the carts from the corral back into the front of the store. When he noticed the seven standing in the middle of the parking lot with all their belongings piled into boxes behind them, he cocked his head in confusion while pushing the carts inside.

“Kendall? You’re back! Can you take the afternoon shift?”

The blond tried to protest as a red apron was shoved into his chest, “I-”

“Great!” The man said, not letting the blond get a word in edgewise as he continued into the store. 

Maybe I should call the radio station. But, taxi first-

“No!” The long-haired boy next to her screamed, seemingly out of nowhere, causing her to drop her guitar case in shock. 

It seems James had finally come back to reality, realizing that the band had, in fact, been shipped back to Minnesota and his pop-star fantasy was ruined as he began to take off to the other side of the parking lot. Where to, none of the other six knew. 

When Roxy was able to grab her phone, she noticed a few notifications of messages from Jo and Camille to respond to later but noticed a lack of messages from either Kelly or Gustavo. Neither of them had done anything to stand up to Griffin after the concert and hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye before their flight in the morning. 

They’re probably onto their next project, and we’re completely forgotten. What does it say about Big Time Rush if they don’t think we’re worth fighting for?

Pushing a few boxes under the store’s front awning, Mrs. Knight let out a sigh. 

“We don’t live too far, if I leave these here can you kids watch them while I walk home and grab my van? Then we can load up these things and I can get everyone home.”

***

After all of the moving boxes had been removed from the front of the Sherwood grocery store and returned to their proper homes via Mrs. Knight’s van, Kendall had messaged everyone asking them to come back to the store and accompany him on his first shift back.

Once they gathered in front of the store, the teens let out a chorus of displeased grumbles, but lazing around the entrance to a grocery store was just about the only fun thing they could think to do in Duluth over the summer.  

Separate from his other friends, James returned from wherever he had run off to earlier, now wheeling a BMX bike beside him, and collapsed onto one of the patio furniture displays for a big summer sale at the front of the store. Thinking this a good idea, Roxy, Carlos, and Logan followed while Kendall donned his red apron, bolded nametag, and gray beanie to get back to work. 

Unable to do anything besides zone out and try not to focus on the events of the last 24 hours, Roxy watched her friend trail around the parking lot, rounding up the blue shopping carts from their corrals and bringing them to the front of the store. While her mind normally ran rampant with want to help her friends or song lyrics and accompanying melodies, as she sat in one of the display’s fold-out chairs, cringing as Carlos dipped his feet into the water in the plastic kiddie pool display in front of them. All she could think about was how much she wished she was back home at the Palm Woods. 

On a chair to her right, Logan didn’t seem to be sharing the same sentiment. Instead, he was attempting to soak up what little bits of Minnesota sun shone through from beyond the clouds. However, the goosebumps rising on his skin suggested that the weather in Minnesota was far more unappealing than the weather in Los Angeles. Oppositely, to her left, James was too busy anxiously bouncing his leg up and down, chin in hand as he intently stared at a trail of ants crawling along the cracked blacktop. 

“T-shirts! Get your Big Time Rush t-shirts!” Katie called from behind the teens, pulling Roxy out of her stupor; a small table was set up in front of the store doors like she were a girl scout trying to sell some delicious cookies. “It’s also good for cleaning rags and organic dog food!”

Just as the writer was about to turn around and spray the little girl with a stream of water from the pool, Kendall annoyingly called her name, as he wagged a finger towards her, “Katie! Not helping.”

“Yeah… but the pool display is!” Carlos laughed, splashing a bit of the dirty water on the concrete under the plastic. 

A few drops landed on the girl’s leg, soaking some parts of her dark blue jeans. Now she was depressed and uncomfortable.

Pants in the summer? God, I hate this town.

“If you close your eyes and Carlos splashes water on you, it’s like you’re still at the Palm Woods…��� Logan offered, while his friend by the pool sent more droplets their way. 

It was enough to make the boy laugh as he languished in the spray, something that also brought a smile to Kendall’s face. 

How are those three having such a good time? 

At his statement, Roxy scoffed, “Sure. If the pool was always cold, lifeless, and dreary. We don’t need something like the Palm Woods, we need the actual Palm Woods!”

“And we have got to keep the band going!” Cried James, finally carrying his eyesight a few inches farther up than his shoes. Eagerly, he stood up, pacing the distance between the cart corral and the furniture display. “We’ll keep rehearsing and get back to Los Angeles! We cannot give up.”

“Exactly!” The girl backed him up, springing out of her seat as well to join him. His Kendall-like speech was just the right amount of encouragement she needed to hear. “I can write us a few more songs and the four of you can put some choreography together! Then we can film some audition tapes and mail them off to some of the big record companies out west! We did it once, and I have full confidence we can do it again.”

There was a brief moment of silence between the five before Kendall opened his mouth and blew out a puff of air. “James… Rox… We’re not giving up. We’re moving on.”

His words hit her like a pound of bricks, causing the girl to reach out and steady herself on the nearest shopping cart. 

Move on from Big Time Rush?

“And I’m not gonna waste a perfectly good day of my life feeling sorry for myself!” The blond continued, taking the cart out from under Roxy’s arms with what she was sure was supposed to be an encouraging smile. “None of us should.”

Wafting the air under his nose, Logan chuckled, “I smell speech.”

With a nod, Kendall took a few steps toward his friends. “Logan, was it your dream to be a Hollywood pop star or a doctor?”

“A doctor.” He replied, taking his sunglasses off.

“Then call up that prep school you say all the doctors come from and get an interview!”

“Yes, but,” Roxy cut in, “In L.A. you told me all the time you’d just take their classes online once you were ready!”

Standing up, Logan shot her a sympathetic look before turning towards the blond. “Good speech so far.”

“And, Carlos,” Followed Kendall, “What was your dream?”

At the mention, Carlos fully stepped into the pool, splashing the water around with his feet as he giggled, “To be hit by a radioactive meteor and fight crime as… Meteor Man!” 

“Okay… We can work on that-”

Abruptly cutting him off, the girl stated, “By writing an original screenplay and submitting it to Colossal Studios! Their offices are only a block away from Rocque Records.” 

Neither of their dreams were unachievable in Los Angeles, she just needed a way to convince her friends of that. A million solutions began to run through her brain as she tried to quickly calculate the best course of action to get the boys on board with her plan. 

However, before she was able to get another word in, next to her, James practically exploded in anger, red covering his normally perfectly pink cheeks. 

“Those dreams are stupid!” He shouted towards Logan and Carlos, before turning to Kendall and continuing, “And you’re stupid, because Gustavo’s coming back!”

“Coming back?”

If Roxy hadn’t been standing right beside Kendall, she might not have heard the slight break in his voice as he pushed out those two words. 

After his inspiring words and James’ outburst, tensions were beginning to run high. Of course, no one wanted a friend to mock their dreams, and the scowls beginning to form on Carlos and Logan’s faces were evidence enough of their growing displeasure with the long-haired boy. But, it was only when Kendall stepped out of line with James and Roxy to join his other two friends on the opposite side of the kiddie pool, the girl realized she was fighting a losing battle. 

Furthermore, it shouldn’t have even been a battle. The majority of the time the five spent in Hollywood had been fighting tooth and nail to prove their place among the halls of Rocque Records. All the times they had collided with Gustavo or fought back against Griffin’s absurd rules of business had become a staple in their everyday lives as they continued to prove time and time again their blood, sweat, and tears were bigger than everyone on Team Big Time Rush combined. 

How was it now, Roxy and James were the only two of them to believe their band was something worth fighting for?

“He didn’t even say goodbye. Look around, you two! There’s nobody pulling up in a shiny car offering to make our dreams come true.”

Beep beep

This, of course, was the perfect time for a shiny, black Cadillac to screech to a halt in the tiny Sherwood parking lot, right in front of the aggravated blond who was nearly too busy glaring at his friends to notice. 

Once the automated, dark-tinted back window rolled down, Kendall finally took his eyes off the pair to glance over at the sharp-dressed stranger who was clearly trying to get his attention. 

“Kendall Knight?” The man asked, slightly tilting his head towards the teens. 

Hesitantly, the boy took a few steps toward the vehicle. “Yes?”

Taking a second to straighten his tie, a small smile appeared on the man’s face as he pushed a large yellowing envelope out through the rolled-down window. “I’m the athletic director at the University of Minnesota, and this is an invitation to skate with the team this Saturday.”

As she processed the man’s words, Roxy cursed her lack of knowledge of college hockey, but was able to gather this invitation was an immense offer when Carlos and Logan’s mouths hung wide open as they slowly approached the car as well. 

Beside the writer, Roxy could practically feel the anger radiating off James in waves, but she didn’t make any moves to try and calm him down out of fear of missing any part of the conversation between her friend and the director. 

“This is the Golden Gopher High School All-Star Skate… How did you-”

Cutting Kendall off, the man threw a large maroon and gold jersey Kendall’s way. “Your mom told me I could find you here and I hope to see you there.”

Speeding off once again, the three boys began fawning over the jersey reading All Stars 13 on the front - a reference to the all-star status and Kendall’s jersey number from the team at Mountain Aire High. 

Over the last months in Hollywood, the boys had done nothing but show their songwriter endless and unwavering support and right now, Roxy could feel her heart practically swell and burst with pride. She desperately wished to bridge the gap between her friends, grab James’ hand and pull him closer to the other three, and celebrate this major milestone for Kendall, but if she did that, it was almost a guarantee her Los Angeles dreams would be thrown directly out the window. 

The feeling of joy, of excitement rapidly flowing through her body was quickly replaced with the sickly feeling of jealousy knotting up her insides as she began to realize just what that letter meant for the future of Big Time Rush. 

Why do their dreams get to come true instead of mine?

Sounds of celebration from Logan, Carlos, and Kendall drowned out the sound of James’ sneakers pounding on the pavement as he stalked over to his blue and white bike. 

It was nearly too loud for the writer to hear as well, trying to suppress the envy boiling over inside of her, as she watched her friends practically jubilate over what felt like her downfall. Moving on, in most cases, was good, healthy even, but she was still having trouble wrapping her head around what was so different about the times in Hollywood they had successfully fought to keep their band together and now. It seemed to her, keeping the band together was only important when it was convenient to her friends. 

“You’re all quitters.” James loudly declared as he pointed to the other three boys, making an elderly patron walking out of the Sherwood store jump at the volume of his voice. “Big Time Rush is not dead!” 

Though she shared the wannabe’s sentiment, she certainly wasn’t expecting him to pop his black bicycle helmet onto her head and motion toward the handlebars of his bike. When she hesitated, not wanting to choose between the two groups even if Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were pissing her off, James grabbed her hand and pulled her backward.

The decision, at this point, had been made for her, and she quietly followed his lead as she propped herself onto the handlebars of his bike.

“It’s nice to know just how much this band meant to you,” Roxy said, tone practically dripping with sarcasm. Though she winced as soon as the words left her mouth, she tried to remedy her previous statement with a kinder, “We have a great thing together and it doesn’t have to end this way.”

A hand on the girl’s waist startled her, yet kept her stable as James pushed off from the curb, mumbling something about his three friends under his breath as the pair began to make their way away from the Sherwood. As much as Roxy would like to believe her words would have any effect on her friends, she had noticed the spark behind Logan’s eyes when he discussed his medical school interview and the excitement written on Kendall’s face as he slipped the hockey jersey over his head. Even Carlos had shared in their celebrations, seeing as they had helped him redetermine his dream to be a superhero. 

The only time she had ever seen James anywhere near as passionate about something was the day of his pop star audition. Right now, it felt as though they were allowing his dream to die in order to further theirs. 

Similar to James, she had no alternate dream; there had been no room for backups or Plan Bs. Even allowing space to occupy her mind with a different career or life path had felt like a waste. For the last few years of her life, she had been working towards Hollywood, and just when she had finally grasped it, she had let it slip through her fingers. 

After a few minutes, the anxious thoughts swirling around her brain had reached near-unthinkable levels, so when James had finally cooled down enough to speak, it was a very welcome change. 

“So, um…” This was enough to pull her out of her spiral, slightly tilting her head back to let him know she had heard him and trying very hard not to think about why he was still holding onto her waist. “There’s not any way for me to ask ‘Where do you live?’ without it being creepy.”

“We’re friends, James. You can ask me questions without it being weird, I promise.”

For a while, the only sound was the spinning of his wheels against the black bike chain connecting the gears as the girl realized she didn’t answer his question. 

“Off Ceder and Airedale, a bit beyond the old Duluth general store.”

“Shit…” He mumbled at her words, causing her to tighten her grip on his handlebars in anticipation of a fall. But it never came, and James kept peddling and peddling. “That’s clear in the opposite direction… We’d have to pass by the store again.”

Involuntarily, Roxy let out a laugh, “No we wouldn’t, just cut through the park here,” She motioned to the right and he easily followed her directions, riding down a path lined with beautiful, green trees. “Then turn down this alley and it’ll loop around,” This time her hand flew to the left, and he nearly missed the turn, but with a quick maneuver that made the girl’s heart jump in fear he had managed to get on the dirt path.

 Silence - again - and Roxy had a hard time trying to break it. There was only so much she could say to help try and cheer him up after a big fight with their friends, yet all she could manage was, “Where do you live?” 

The snort he let out almost reverberated in her eardrum, had he always been leaning that close into her?

“My mom lives on 1st and Maine and my dad lives on Oak and Bearing.” 

God, they couldn’t have picked two parts of town any further apart…

“Oh…” Roxy said involuntarily, understanding what he was getting at. Two different houses for two different parents. “That must have been tough for you.”

When he didn’t respond, she realized how her comment must’ve sounded and a knot of guilt twisted in her stomach. Ten minutes ago, they had what just felt like a bad breakup with their closest friends, and now he was talking about his divorced parents. She really knew how to drive an uplifting conversation. 

“You know, I think it’s kind of funny,” She tried again, hoping to change the direction entirely. “We’ve both lived in this town all our lives and we’d never even met until we both signed up for that audition.”

Letting out a small “Mhm,” James continued to keep his eyes on the path ahead of them. 

Cold, yet gentle, the breeze lifted and jostled Roxy’s hair under the helmet as the two finally made it out of the gravel alleyway and onto the sidewalk of her street. This conversation was awkward, uncomfortable even; there had never been a point in time where she had seen her friend so blasè about what was going on around him. Everything they had done in Los Angles had been a new adventure, something they were able to embark on together to get their band in the top spot at Rocque Records, and even when they had done that, it hadn’t been enough to prove to Griffin that they were of value to the company. 

So maybe it’s time to find a new record label… Maybe an independent owner this time. 

“We’ll find a way to get back there, James.”

His response was immediate. “I’m not sure we would’ve the first time had it not been for you.”

“Well,” It was hard to bite back the smile forming on her face as he pulled up to her house, which she quickly pointed towards to let him know where to drop her off. When he stopped in front of the large porch, she hopped off the handlebars, spinning around to face him as she placed her hands over his and leaned in. “Good thing you’ve got me on your side then.”

With a wink, she popped the helmet off her head and into his chest, before gently hopping up the wooden steps to the front door, and he called out, “Yeah, I think it is!”

***

It didn’t take long for Roxy to seek escape from the uncomfortable familiarity of her bedroom. 

Sure it was her room, but after Los Angeles, it certainly didn’t feel right to call it that. Not when the one back in 2-H was waiting for her to come back and put all her posters back where they belonged, fill the mirrored closet with every article of clothing she could shove in there, or have a sleepover with Jo and Camille. 

The day was slowly coming to an end, meaning her father would be home from work sometime soon, so the writer decided to head to the kitchen and see if she could scrape anything dinner-like together from what he had left in the fridge. 

Cool blast of air emanating from the fridge making her shiver, she popped the double doors open to find the shelves nearly empty. 

Does he even go to the store?

Pushing the thought out of her mind, she headed to the pantry and found it similarly stocked. Though, the gallon of milk, jar of Cool Whip, packages of instant vanilla pudding, and sleeve of Oreo cookies did tell her he was still picking up the ingredients of their favorite dessert. 

It brought a smile to her face as she collected the four components onto the kitchen counter, tying up her hair as she decided to put together tonight’s batch of Oreo fluff salad. Flicking on the radio on the windowsill, she peered out the window, into the forest backing her house as she lost herself in her thoughts. 

“It’s salad, so it’s gotta be healthy, right?” He told her as she was growing up, pulling out the ingredients and arranging them in a row, similar to how she was now. 

“Salad’s green!” She’d giggle in response, though would never protest no matter how many times a week he’d make it. 

“So, we’ll put green food dye in!”

As she began to combine the milk and pudding together, Roxy couldn’t remember the last time she had had her favorite treat. 

Trying her best to remember, her thoughts were interrupted by the radio DJ announcing, “Next up on Homegrown, Duluth’s Finest: The new single from Brand New Day-”

Just as quick as it had been turned on, Roxy flipped the radio back off, doing her best to let the good memories of dessert flow through her mind.

Throughout her life, her dad had always found a reason to make Oreo fluff salad, but his only prerequisite was it could only be made for special occasions. And many special occasions there were; her first day of school, losing her first tooth, the day she wrote her first song that sounded suspiciously like “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne on her guitar, even the night of her first kiss - though he was noticeably less than thrilled to be celebrating that. 

Tonight’s celebration? She thought, dripping a few drops of green food coloring she had found in the back of one of the drawers into the white concoction. Having Oreo fluff salad together for the first time in forever… Getting an album almost put out before Mag and Dani… Or maybe the fact I have someone who will always support me…

Absentmindedly beginning to hum the opening lines to “Complicated” to fill the silence after cutting the radio, the writer stopped mixing in the Cool Whip, blankly staring into the bowl, as she realized the last part of her thought had been pertaining to James, not her father. 

Letting that sink in a bit more, she let her train of thought freely ride its rails as she thought about all the times he had been right by her side. Coming to her aid as WayneWayne stepped up to her, pulling her away from the alligator in Gustavo’s mansion, taking her to the dance after her horrific break-up, helping her work through the stress of creating a music video…

“I’d just hate to see another douchebag break your heart.”

Even though her fingers were covered with crushed Oreo dust, she felt her hand move up towards her face, grazing the side of her cheek where he had cupped her face the day she had acted as a bad luck magnet for Jordin Sparks. 

He’s always there for me.

It was nearly impossible to deny the warmth pulsating under her skin.

Shit.

Before Roxy was able to process what these feelings meant to her, the door to the garage noisily opened, and the sound of crinkled paper bags and heavy work boots on the wooden floor let her know that her father had made it home safely. 

Eagerly dumping the remaining crushed cookie bits into the green mixture before placing the dish in the fridge to cool, she yelled, “Dad!”  

When he finally made his way into the kitchen through the mud room, his daughter lit up at the two fast food bags he held in his hand. It looked like he was pulling out all the stops, bringing home the best burgers in town from Bun In A Million.

The moment he set the bags on the table, she sped over and wrapped him in a bear hug, arms easily sliding around his waist as she squeezed him tighter and tighter. 

“Oof!” He joked, pretending to be winded from her quick contact, before settling his arms around her shoulder, crushing her right back. As he spoke, his thick Southern accent rolled off his tongue, “Jesus, Honey Bun, I can’t tell you how great it is to see your shinin’ face after a long day at work.”

***

Now well into the evening, Roxy was sprawled out on her bed, loudly playing the tape of her favorite songs in the cassette player she had left sitting on her nightstand. Even after blowing off the thick layer of dust that had settled on top of it, it still played her music like it was brand new, currently spinning “Don’t Look Back In Anger” by Oasis. 

After recounting the last few days she and the band had spent in Los Angeles over heavenly burgers and fries, her father first asked if she wanted some alone time, and then without waiting for her answer, asked if she wanted to watch the Vikings game. 

It was much to his surprise, she asked if he wanted to watch whatever hockey game she presumed was on. Each and every night back at the Crib it seemed like the boys were watching something hockey related, so when he told her nothing was on that night, she conceded to hanging out in her room to try and make it feel like home again. 

She hadn’t meant to get so fixated on the song she was currently listening to, but once the line “Please don’t put your life in the hands, of a rock n’ roll band, who’ll throw it all away,” crawled through the speakers, she kept reaching her hand out to press the rewind button to hear the message over and over again. 

It was only because she was rewinding it, and the tape made a soft whir, she was able to hear the telltale sound of the doorbell ringing and the squeaking of her father’s recliner as he moved to get up before the song started playing again. 

Sure feels like they threw it all away.

Whir.

Everyone but James.

Whir.

James… Who is always there for me…

Whir.

This time, she left the song finally play out, staring absentmindedly at her bland, white ceiling. The longer her music played the longer she could focus on that, not her newfound, complicated feelings toward one of her closest friends. 

I need to talk to Jo and Camille… It’s late, but they’re only two hours behind-

Knock knock

“Roxy, someone’s here to see you, Honey-” Her dad called through the door before it was abruptly pulled open, making a light sound as it tread over the carpet. 

Immediately, she shot up, certainly not in the state to meet any visitors right now as she reached to shut her tape player off.

“Roxy! I did it! I did it!” 

A brown-haired blur shot across her messy room, grabbing her hands and pulling her off her bed, into an incredibly solid chest. One that smelled a lot like ‘Cuda Spice Lime and rose and fell against her own with every, “I did it!”

That was until her father coughed into his hand while he stood in the doorway and James promptly pushed Roxy an arm's length away from him. As the boy practically shook with excitement, he looked back toward the man in the doorway and gave him a sheepish smile before taking one more step back from the writer.

As much as she desperately needed to figure out what “I did it!” meant, it was hard to ignore the way James was, first of all, standing in the middle of her bedroom after she had just been thinking about him, and second of all, flickering his eyes back and forth between Roxy and her father. 

The two of them got strange looks an awful lot. It’s just what happens when someone becomes a father at seventeen years old. 

At first, the comments are always well-intentioned, at least that’s what Roxy thought when people used to tell her how lucky she was to have such a wonderful older brother. When she was finally old enough to correct them, the tone of the conversation always shifted. Asking awfully invasive questions about how he raised her from such a young age or how he could’ve been so “careless” as a teenager. But, at the end of the day, their situation was what it was, and no one else was entitled to information they weren’t willing to share about it. Her father spent every single day of her life letting her know how loved she was and he had raised a wonderful, talented young woman. 

This was something she had worked out within herself a long time ago, but now, as she watched James rake his eyes over her facial features, comparing them to those nearly identical to her father, it made her squirm in place as she waited for him to say something, anything. 

After a moment, her dad took a deep breath, crossing his black tattooed forearms over one another as he looked towards the two teenagers. Roxy swore he was trying to explode James with his mind. “Tell her what you just told me, son.”

“O-oh, right, Mr. Declan-”

“Mr. Somerset.”

“Yes… Mr. Somerset. Uh,” Wringing his hands together, James turned towards his friend, who was trying very, very hard to keep herself together. “Just a bit ago I was riding my bike back to Maine Street when I got hit by this large, white limousine, right?”

“What?” Roxy found herself nearly yelling, hand flying to her chest as she quickly scanned her eyes up and down his body for any sign of injury.

“Oh! No, no. It wasn’t a big deal.” He brushed that off way too quickly for her liking. “But, inside, you’ll never guess who-”

“Gustavo?! Gustavo came back for us?!” Yelled the writer, daring to step closer to the boy as he continued to tell his tale. The producer had previously appeared on the streets of Duluth in a large, white limousine; one that whisked the five teens away to the city where dreams are made of. 

When he raised his eyebrows at her comment, she took that as an unconfirmed “yes” and practically ran to the other side of her bed to grab her guitar case and songbook. Her suitcase was right beside them, still packed and ready for another cross-country trip. 

“No, Roxy. He didn’t. Hawk did.”

Now it was her turn for shock. 

“With a multi-album recording contract, two rooms at the Palm Woods, and a spot in the budget for his new rising star to hire a songwriter-assistant.”

Hardly able to formulate any thought beyond letting out an excited, relieved scream, the only sentence she managed to develop was, “Did you call Logan, Kendall, and Carlos?”

Glancing down at the ground, James seemed very interested in the dull, brown shag carpet at his feet. “It just went to voicemail.”

As depressing as that was, Roxy was ready to move on, just like the blond had suggested. Move on to better things, that was. 

Those three had made it clear how they felt about their future in music, so now it was time to focus on their second ticket to the big time - a recording contract with Hawk Records. 

Anxiously picking at the leather covering on her songbook, Roxy cast her eyes to her father, who still stood in the doorway, watching the entire exchange between the pair. 

“It’s up to you, Honey Bun. Jay here seems to have everything worked out between you and that Hawk fella. His mom graciously agreed to accompany you on your trip, like Miss Jennifer did the first time ‘round, and since you’re moving back into that fancy hotel, I know it’ll be safe.”

“Come with us, Dad!” She blurted out, ignoring the way James seemed to pale at the comment. “It was really hard to be away from you for so long.”

Once her father processed what she had asked of him, he pushed out a deep breath and crossed the room to trap her in a hug - a hug she’d normally be happy to receive, but found a bit embarrassing in front of James. “You know I can’t swing that right now… ‘Sides, I seem to recall not being that much older than you are now when I up and moved halfway across the country to chase my dream.”

“Becoming a miner wasn’t your dream-”

“You, Roxanne. I chased you all the way up here.”

Moving to Minnesota hadn’t been her decision like he made it sound, there were other forces in her life sixteen years ago that had tried to drive the pair apart. It was a good thing her father was a strong, loyal man, who wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he thought was right.  

“Well…” The writer finally put her thoughts into words, turning to James as she untangled herself from her father’s arms. “Let’s go see what Hawk has to offer. But, nothing gets signed unless we both agree he is going to lead us down a path of our own design, just like Gustavo would’ve.”

Carefully, she stuck her hand out toward him, and he graciously accepted her deal with a nod. With her father in the room with them, James was a bit hesitant to reach out and take her hand, and good thing, because even the light brush of his fingertips against hers made her heart palpitate in her chest. 

“Come on, kiddos,” Roxy’s father interrupted whatever thoughts she was about to allow run through her brain. “We’ve got Oreo fluff salad in the fridge. And, Jay, don’t ask why it’s green.”

***

Ring… Ring…

“You’ve reached the phone of Logan Mitchell. Normally I’d tell you to leave a message after the beeeeep but I’m studying for the most important interview of my life right now. If you think your message is more important than my dream… You’re wrong! Don’t call again.”

Ring… Ring…

“Hey! Kendall Knight here. I’m probably busy practicing for the Golden Gopher High School All-Star Skate. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you once I’m officially a gopher.”

Ring… Ring…“Hello!... What?... Sorry, I can’t hear you… Hello?... Hello?...I think your connection must be weird or something… Haha! Just kidding! Got you! Leave your name and number after the tone and El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man will reach you after he’s figured out a better hero name.”

--

Alternatively titled Over My Head (Cable Car); alternatively titled Don't Look Back in Anger; alternatively titled Obvious; alternatively titled -

:) Thanks for reading part one of the season one finale! I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you will all be forgiving when I say that part two will not be coming out on it's normal Tuesday next week. I loved the CGE tour so much I got tickets to another show and will be traveling when it comes time to post next. It'll come out later next week. 

Also, if anyone can draw the picture of Jo, Camille, and Roxy at In-N-Out I will love you forever <3

#thats all she wrote fic #big time rush #btr #james diamond #james maslow #kendall knight #kendall schmidt #logan mitchell #logan henderson #carlos garcia #carlos penavega

[ryanhillgroup]

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Decked out with 42-inch cabinets, granite countertops, and a full suite of stainless steel appliances, you'll look forward to cooking and hosting here.

An island provides extra counter space, and a walk-in pantry ensures you'll never lack for storage.

Even laundry is a breeze in the dedicated laundry-mud room, equipped with an exterior door, utility sink, and extra storage.

Retreat upstairs to rest and relax

When it's time to retire for the day, make your way upstairs to the four generously sized bedrooms!

Your main bedroom serves as a grandiose retreat, boasting its own walk-in closet and an ensuite bathroom equipped with a skylight, double sinks, a separate shower, and a large soaking tub where you can wash your cares away.

The other bedrooms are equally comfortable and well-appointed, ensuring that every family member and guest has a space they can call their own.

Outdoor living at its best

Enjoy the large, wood-fenced backyard with mature Arborvitae for added privacy while you entertain friends and family.

Whether you're hosting a summer BBQ on the concrete patio or enjoying cozy nights around the brick fire pit, this outdoor space extends your living area and enhances your quality of life.

Your peace of mind is secured in this Naperville IL home with a new roof (2019), exterior paint (2020), HVAC (2021), sump pump (2021), and stove (2022).

Located within close proximity to top-rated Naperville District 204 schools like Kendall Elementary School, Crone Middle School, and Neuqua Valley High School, this property offers the complete package! You're just minutes away from Springbrook and Naperbrook golf courses, and a plethora of shopping and dining options along Highway 59. You are also minutes away from Downtown Naperville’s train station, the Naperville Riverwalk, and will have easy access to three major highways. 

This home is move-in ready and waiting for you to start making cherished memories.

Call me, Teresa Ryan, Managing Broker and Team Leader of Ryan Hill Group (Century 21 Circle), at 630-718-0424 to schedule your showing today.

In case you can not view this video here, please click the link below to view Home For Sale: 2516 Bangert Ln, Naperville, IL 60564 | Teresa Ryan on my YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/lD6rqGDCKDM?si=UamECWseombdAdds

A portion of every closing at Ryan Hill Group is given back to the community.

Get Our VIP Easy Move Benefits When You Sell Your Home With Us*

(*ask for details)

#teresa ryan #naperville homes for sale #ryan hill realty #Youtube

[returntosaturn271995]

Friday, April 14th: Mid-Bloom

It’s good to be alive right now. Kelly and Kendall are making me laugh in the group chat, the elderly hippie lady (Terri) and I had a stop and chat about the benefits of meditation, and I’m in the mood to wear a long green sundress as I write this on my bed. 

Aesthetics are everything and there’s nothing wrong with romanticizing life when things feel fresh and bright. Wearing perfume around the house and doing yoga stretches for no one to see. I’m smiling at strangers, it’s all of a little ridiculous. But good vibes beget good vibes, I have my (hopefully final) interview with Diff Eyewear on Monday.  

My meditation today was focused on time. Investing it, wasting it, spending it. Yoga, daily walks, reading, writing, therapy, and the meditation itself all count as investing. Gaming and binge watching count as wasting (but fun waste none-the-less). Grocery shopping and doing taxes count as spending. 

Fuck. That reminds me I need to do my goddamn taxes. And grocery shop and sleep less, but I am poetry in motion, work in progress...a little lazy after all that yoga tbh. 

But, I ask as I run my fingers over the rose necklace Hannah and Emily got me for my 25th, what’s romantic about that? Turbo Tax doesn’t match with my indie playlist of Coin, 1975, Harry Styles, Arctic Monkeys, The Wallows, Tame Impala, Arlie, The Regrettes, and Royal Otis (among others). 

My skin tingles from a post-run shower and my toes are cherry red from a recent pedicure. The house has a good vibe, with Kate taking meetings in a black bikini outside, annoyingly tan. I told her so before pressing my butt up against the glass door at her. She laughed. We vibe. 

I read a ton of “Margot” last night and there’s a letter from it I’ll write out and post next. The writing really is beautiful. And often funny. Literature makes me want live more like a character, see meaning and notice details. 

The other night I hugged James while wearing his T-shirt in the kitchen. He rested his chin on top of my head and we fit. Like puzzle pieces for a night, fitting satisfyingly and separating just as easily. 

My 1% improvement today will be donating clothes/items I don’t use, dressing chic, and eating a little healthier than I have been. That’ll have to do. 

[foxes-that-run]

Betty

Betty was written with William Bowery. In the credits, Joe is a producer. In the Long Pond Session, Taylor said James and Betty wind up together, but he really put her through it. In the Eras Tour Taylor introduces Betty, (Transcribed Betty Speeches) likening it to HYGTG. She says it is about a teenage boy trying to apologise to the love of his life:

There are songs with a high school metaphor (Betty, August, INTHAF, MA&HBP & Suburban Legends) that have Haylor references. The metaphor of 17 year old James for 18 year old HS and Betty for Taylor is clearer. To me, I think Augustine is loosely based on Kendall Jenner, but Taylor has also shown she identifies with this role also.

To Vulture Aaron said:

This one Taylor and William wrote, and then both Jack and I worked on it. We all kind of passed it around. This is the one where Taylor wanted a reference. She wanted it to have an early Bob Dylan, sort of a Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan.

It's unusual for Taylor to have a direct throw back musical reference like that play such a role in the song. This may be William Bowery's influence, Taylor said that William Bowery played her a lot of diverse music. Harry Styles has a similar approach.

Lyrics

Betty, I won't make assumptions About why you switched your homeroom but I think it's 'cause of me Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard When I passed your house It's like I couldn't breathe

The opening reminds me of Wish you Would & Style with him passing her house, now on a skateboard rather than Range Rover. (cute video of Taylor recording the skateboard)

Harry has Asthma and uses oxygen on stage. This last line also reminds me of his anxiety, which Taylor has referred to in New Years Day (squeeze my hand in the backseat of the taxi) and Now that we don't talk ( Did you get anxious though On the way home?)

You heard the rumors from Inez You can't believe a word she says Most times, but this time it was true The worst thing that I ever did Was what I did to you

It's well known that James, Inez and Betty are Blake and Ryan's kids. I always wonder how Inez will feel about this line when she's older.

Here I think her name is standing in for the media, specifically I think of Perez Hilton which was a bigger thing in 2012. This is a call back to when Harry kissed a girl in Australia in April 2012.

The worst thing line is a reference to Where do broken hearts go's line "Counted all my mistakes and there's only one / Standing out from the list of the things I've done / All the rest of my crimes don't come close / To the look on your face when I let you go"

[Chorus] But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself? Or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only 17, I don't know anything But I know I miss you

In the Long Pond Sessions, Taylor said 'William Bowery' wrote this whole chorus. It includes references to a number of songs about Harry and Taylor's relationship:

HYGTG "Stand there like a ghost / Shaking come the rain, rain / She'll open up the door / And say, are you insane, -ane?"

Cruel Summer "And I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate"

Style: " I heard / That you've been out and about with some other girl, some other girl" / He says, "What you heard is true, but I Can't stop thinkin' 'bout you and I" / I said, "I've been there too a few times"

To be so Lonely: "Don't blame me for falling / I was just a little boy Don’t blame the drunk caller / Wasn't ready for it all" and "You said you cared / And you missed me, too"

Betty, I know where it all went wrong Your favorite song was playing From the far side of the gym I was nowhere to be found I hate the crowds, you know that Plus, I saw you dance with him

Suburban Legends "“I am standin’ in a 1950s gymnasium” in Suburban Legends and here Taylor is using a metaphor for a prom or school dance for an event. In Suburban Legends she is proud to be with him, here they are using it as a reason to escape together.

Wildest Dreams "He said, "Let's get out of this town / Drive out of the city, away from the crowds"" and who could blame either of them. I Know Places is also all about the avoiding crowds

The seeing Betty dance with someone else reminds us of Exile (I can see you standing, honey / With his arms around your body), Woman ("While he’s touching your skin He’s right where I should, where I should be") and To be So Lonely "Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?"

I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up like A figment of my worst intentions She said "James, get in, let's drive" Those days turned into nights Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

Cobblestones links it to Cardigan, and indicates it is set in London or New York.

I love 'figment of my worst intentions' for temptation, in Style she sings of him being with someone else and thinking of TS.

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep And I planned it out for weeks now But it's finally sinkin' in Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when You see my face again The only thing I wanna do Is make it up to you So I showed up at your party

This verse is similar to HYGTG, Wish You Would and The Last Time.

Also this is similar to the leaked Half the World Away "I messed up, you'll be fine / I'm gonna sleep alone tonight / Never gonna be the same"

Yeah, I showed up at your party Yeah, I showed up at your party Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch In front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only 17, I don't know anything But I know I miss you

The stupid friends like reminds me of Suburban Legends "I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs / Would surprise the whole school / When I ended up back at our class reunion/ Walkin' in with you" They are both expressing wanting HS and TS to be showing off their relationship, which they kept private.

Standing in your cardigan Kissin' in my car again Stopped at a streetlight You know I miss you

Kissing in cars matches Cardigan "To kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed" and also matches the many references to driving.

If I could fly "I'm missing half of me when we're apart"

TBSL "You said you cared / And you missed me, too"

#haylor #folklore #betty

[kingbathroomsandkitchens]

Planning a Designer Bathroom Renovation

Whether you’re planning a small upgrade or a complete overhaul, your designer bathroom renovation can make a huge difference in the overall look of your home.

A designer can help you plan out your layout and choose the right materials for your project. They can also suggest the right fixtures and lighting.

Layout

When you're planning a designer bathroom renovation, one of the first things you want to do is decide on the layout. Getting it right will make all the difference to the space and your experience.

A great way to start is to make a scale plan that includes aspects like window placements and heights, exterior walls, door openings and drainage. Then, build the key elements - a shower cubicle, bath, toilet and basic storage - to scale to assess what works where.

For example, a small bathroom that needs to fit a tub can be a good candidate for a side-wall layout, which allows the sink and toilet areas to receive privacy through inner partition walls.

However, if you're in a home that has the luxury of a large bathroom space, consider using a center-wall design to maximize available floor area and create a freestanding bathtub, which can be a beautiful focal point in the room.

Fixtures

If you are renovating a bathroom, it is important to choose the right fixtures and fittings. These can set the tone for a bathroom and are a great way to enhance the space.

Fixtures include tubs, sinks, and showers. They are all permanent features that cannot be easily removed without renovation work.

Fittings include faucets, shower heads, and other accessories. They are movable and easy to replace.

These are the most important parts of a bathroom. They are what makes the room feel complete.

A lot of thought goes into choosing bathroom fixtures, and there are so many options to choose from. Make sure to have a clear vision of how you want the space to look before starting your project.

Lighting

A great lighting scheme will make a huge difference in the look and feel of your designer bathroom renovation. It can also make a difference in how your space is used.

For example, in the bathroom above from Kendall Wilkinson Design, decorative framed mirrors are flanked by built-in sconces and ceiling lights that add soft ambient light. The design team also added a shallow ledge on the lefthand wall, and built-in nooks to create additional space for bath accessories.

There are four layers of lighting to consider when choosing bathroom fixtures: Task, ambient, accent, and decorative. In general, Whitehead recommends using a combination of these to get the best results.

For the vanity area, Whitehead suggests installing two fixtures on either side of the mirror to provide cross illumination for working at the sink. In compact areas, mirrored cabinets with integral lighting can be a good solution as well.

Tile

When it comes to bathroom tile, there are a lot of options. From classic ceramic to elegant natural stone, you can find a style that will fit your needs and budget.

Choosing the right tile is essential to creating a designer bathroom renovation. Not only does it need to look great, but it also needs to be durable and low-maintenance.

If you’re looking for an affordable tile option, try going with a concrete or cement tile. These tiles don’t have a glaze layer, which makes them more durable and long-lasting.

A great way to add a luxurious touch to your bathroom is by using marble. This material is a popular choice because it offers unique color and veining patterns.

In this master bathroom remodel, marble was used to create a feature wall behind the vanity and tub. This design saves money without compromising on style.

#kitchen and bath remodeling #luxury bathroom renovation Sydney #modern bathroom renovation Sydney #Designer Bathroom Renovation #kitchens construction #Bathroom renovations north Shore #kitchen and bathroom remodelling