#key notes: don't worry about what you're reading or how others might look at you for reading what you like

[femmesandhoney]

I hope this doesn't send off anon because that'd be embarrassing but as an ex-bookworm trying to get back into reading I wanted to ask you; do you have any advice for getting back into it? my problem is that I used to read a lot when I was a teenager and had a lot of free time so I could get in the mood for it and relax with a book. now I'm a grown woman with a 9 to 5 and because of that I just end up doing nothing but scrolling when I have free time, I feel like there's no point in reading if I can't actually relax... realistically I know that's not true though so I wondered if you might have some tips or tricks for me 😭 you seem like you have a busy life (uni, friends, projects) too and yet you don't seem to struggle with that. what's your secret?

i read literally any enjoyable book i can get my hands on. don't think because you're an adult woman you have to only read non-fiction or something "serious" or something dense and long. it's okay to pick up stuff that's really light-hearted and easy to read (like mdzs) or something fiction that's enthralling (cormorman strike). sometimes i press myself to only read super purposeful books that even though i love the topics, can make you feel a bit sick of reading bc of mental fatigue (so i have to take breaks from my sociology or feminist lit). gives me more breathing room between heavy serious topics with light hearted and fun and engaging fiction.

i would advise trying to find a book that is just. devour-able. even if it's not "high brow" or even adult, if you like YA read a YA, a lot of those books are usually very consumable and can help relight the spark but are also "easy" reads that you can zoom through. we can knock the idea of "tik tok books" and "booktok" but in one respect they got one thing right about motivating people to read: people love a devour-able book. something fun and engaging, whether that be romance or fantasy or whatever the girlies are reading over there lol. there is a benefit to sharing stuff that while on the surface may seem silly, can actually just be a fun read, and reading should be fun. if you're not having fun, why the heck would you sit down again with a more challenging book later on?

basically, i always return to what made me love reading in the first place. when i was little, i sucked at reading and was in remedial classes all through elementary. the summer before 6th grade, my friend let me borrow his sea of monsters book. both he and another girl i knew were voracious readers. and i quickly learned why. when you have the right books and learn what genres and "voices" you like reading, suddenly it's the most fun thing in the world to get sucked into a story. i love fantasy and sci-fi, so i always return home to them when i'm in a slump bc it's what i can consume all night without a care in the world. i always just try to find ways to connect back to those feelings towards reading :)

#key notes: don't worry about what you're reading or how others might look at you for reading what you like #have fun always and when a book stops being fun and feels more taxing to read than anything find another book #it's okay to read a little below what you actually can read if you want something quick and simple like a YA to reignite your spark #my all time favorite author is actually a YA author! #try and remember what made you love reading as a kid and what genres made you feel that the book was 'devourable' maybe even re-read them #also its okay to not read every single day don't pressure yourself #i sometimes have no time or energy to do it either #hence finding a book that does make you feel like time is going by in the blink of an eye bc you're so into it is important for relaxation

[hoony2k]

ANNOYING THINGS THEY DO

Enha hyung line goofy annoying compilation

PAIRING: hyung line

GENRE: fluff, humour

WARNINGS: mentions of kissing

NOTE: hii i was really excited to share this since its been in my drafts the longest...i'm still writing the maknae line and wondered hm what if i just divided the lines yk jakehoon's is NOT longer its an illusion (lie)

masterlist

★ HEESEUNG:

stares at you, blank emotionless stare. At first, you think it's an affectionate prank where he's waiting for the moment your eyes meet so he can scare you but no. It might seem cute at the start but then it turns almost sinister because he will not stop looking at you with those love-sick eyes and smiles that turn blank and you're worried if he's okay. When you ask him about it, he says YOU'RE lovesick and delusional because that's how he looks at everyone. Man has to save his crumbling dignity somehow. You're with your coworkers, minding your own business and your friend nudges you and asks "if you know him?" Him being your bf who's been making heart eyes at you from across the room for an hour straight.

★ JAY:

He's a neat and clean person which is great for mornings when you're rushing out and can't find where you placed your socks, keys and bag. But it's not fun when you're minding your own business and he texts you "pls pick up your laundry next time." Or complains about last night's dirty dishes you promised you would clean. They're just dirty dishes to you but he rolls his eyes and says it's so much deeper than that and gives you a speech. Draws a chart where he divides chores and duties and sticks it on the fridge so no one forgets. The chart has a rewards and punishment feature. Rewards mean extra kisses and he's not evil so he keeps the punishment low- just two hours without a kiss.

★ JAKE:

the type to speak during movies. It's a variety of statements and questions. Sometimes it's endearing when he recognises a certain actor from another liked film but has this habit of commenting on scenes regardless of the genre. "oh wow. Hide instead of calling for help, why not?" "That is NOT scientifically possible but they could have at least made it sound like they knew physics." Sometimes he gets passionate and you need to grab his shoulder to calm him down. There's going to be a crucial, heart-wrenching scene of the two main leads staring at one another playing, you're at the edge of your seat and he'll turn your head towards him with his fingers and go, "Do you think they stared at each other pores and compared skin types? "

★ SUNGHOON:

makes everything a competition just to make it "fun". Has a bit of trouble understanding when people aren't competitive or don't like a challenge. Which is why he's created puzzles in your own house 😭. Holds a "who can eat food the fastest" competition, Hides your favourite mug and puts a riddle note in its place. "Babe, it'll be so fun, come on." It's not and every time he pulls a stunt like that you want to grab him by the throat but he'll swiftly grab your hands and show off his stupid fang smile and you'll forget what you were going to do. The type to prank you by hiding behind ajar doors and spooking the life out of you and anticipates you doing the same He is so cute. Constantly tries to provoke your competitive spirit by making mundane tasks a competition and sure it's fun but not all the time TT.

Thank you so much for reading!

All rights belong to me. Please do not translate/edit/copy.

#enha #enhypen #enha x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fics #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen imagines #enhypen soft hours #enhypen fluff #sunghoon #jake sim #jay park #heeseung #heeseung x reader #sunghoon x reader #jake sim x reader #jay park x reader #park jongseong #heeseung reactions #jake sim reactions #jay park reactions #sunghoon reactions #hana's work 》 #enha scenarios #enha fics #enha fluff #enha angst #enha reactions

[sliverslipped]

What qualities of you attract friends?

Piles: 1-3 from left to right

Please do note that this is my first pac. I'm still a beginner and is practicing tarot with very limited resources. Please be mindful of your words and as it's said not everything might resonate. This is a general reading. Take what resonates and leave the rest. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Credits: Pictures aren't mine. I got it from Pinterest. I've also used the divider from @cafekitsune !! Check them out

Close your eyes and take a deep breath after taking a close look at the images. Choose the one that attracts you the most. Feel free to choose two piles if you feel drawn to both.

Comments and feedback are highly appreciated.

PILE 1

Queen of cups you're someone who's seen as the mom of the group, the one who's always there for their friends, the one who's very loyal. Very loving too and this is one of the key qualities that attract strong friendship to you. You're a nurturing soul. Not only are you nurturing you're also very intuitive. You're very sensitive and when you make a connection with a person you treasure them. Page of swords you're a very charming individual who knows how to give the rest a good company. As pages depict someone who's younger either you might be younger by age or you have a youthful energy to you. You're quick witted and you might also be very curious and open minded. Five of cups you're not afraid to show your vulnerable side to your friends. Crying over spilt milk doesn't make you a miserable person either. Though the cards may depict a miserable one, think of it as you showing your vulnerable side to your friends and how much they cherish that you trusted them enough to open up to them about your worries and insecurities. Hermit you're someone who's wise and mature. You know when to withdraw from people and situations to assess and evaluate your feelings and thoughts better. You also have a healing energy to you. You're also very self aware and critical and is also the friend who's very reliable. You're also very spiritual. The sun you have strong leadership skills. You're very charming and you do not hesitate to shower your friends with compliments. You're not afraid of others stealing your spotlight either. You have a healthy ego. You also help people to grow and see their potential.

Gemini, cancer, virgo. Some of you may have these signs or have these placements. It doesn't necessarily have to be though.

PILE 2

Strength you have great leadership qualities. You're someone who's very resilient. You have a healthy self esteem. You don't find the need to get extrrnal approval or validation because you're very confident in who you are. You also make your friends feel supported. Four of wands you're someone who enjoys your life. There's never a dull moment with you. You don't take anything for granted either. You're also someone who's very social. You're also full of ideas and curiosity. Seven of pentacle you're someone who's well organized, patient and systematic. You have a balance between feminine and masculine energy. You're also a keen observer. You know when to let go and what to let go of if you think that you no longer have a control over it. You do not rush into things, it doesn't mean that you don't want to get it done fast but rather you take your time and know when to rest. You're very reliable and commited. Hanged man you're patient and is capable of viewing things from different point of views. You're someone who's afraid to stand out from a crowd. You're very welcoming of others and make them feel at ease.

Leo, venus in aries, saturn in taurus. You may have these signs or have these placements in your chart. It doesn't necessarily have to be though.

PILE 3

Hanged man you're capable of viewing things and situations from a new perspective or point of view. Very open minded. You're also very patient. You also make people feel at ease and welcomed.Queen of cups you're someone who's seen as the mom of the group. You're always there for your friends and is very loyal. Very loving too. You're a nurturing soul. Not only are you nurturing you're also very intuitive. You're very sensitive. Seven of cups you're very fun to be around. Your energy may feel like it's all over the place but in this context and getting the card upright it's not bad. You may also have many interests that keep you engaged and make you bit more interesting to your friends. You're also able to view things from different perspective. Page of cups you're vulnerable and emotionally open. You're attentive to the needs of others and is there for them. You're also Idealistic. You're very caring and compassionate. You're selfless. You also make others feel loved and appreciated.

Gemini, virgo, Venus in scorpio, Saturn in libra. You may have these signs or have these placements in your chart. It doesn't necessarily have to be though.

I'm sorry that this pile is very short compared to the previous ones so feel free to check the other ones if you felt attracted to any for more messages.

Ⓒsliverslipped

#pick an image #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a card #tarot pac #pac #tarot cards #tarot reading

[justporo]

From the Touch of Gentle Fingers

Just a short little drabble of Astarion and Tav sharing a tender, vulnerable moment worrying what the future might hold. Pairing: Astarion / Tav (You) (Genderneutral reader) Rating: General

You were organising the enormous stacks of books all over the floor in the room Astarion wanted to turn into a study. And he kept buying tons of books and scripts. And yeah, he did read them but he didn't care very much about keeping them in order or putting them back where they belonged. Seemingly his neat outter appearance didn't seem to reach past his own fingertips.

In fact in the months of living together in an actual home you had learned a thing or two about him and yourself. For example, you seemed to care much more about order than you'd thought possible while he seemed to have quite the chaotic nature.

But it might not be that but rather that he tried desperately to find out who he was or at least who he wanted to become now that he was free of higher powers. Maybe it was that with the still pretty recently regained freedom he felt a sort of impeding doom having to choose from a seemingly infinite amount of choices of what came next. You thought about that a lot and hoped you could help him and ease his anxiety.

As you were putting away another dusty old tome, you heard a few soft notes from a piano downstairs. You frowned. There was in fact a piano downstairs - the two of you had bought it. But you had been sure it had been a splurge only for decoration. So either Astarion was downstairs playing the piano or you had to deal with a ghost.

The sounds stopped then began again and started a little melody. You slowly got up and silently walked down the stairs. You felt that what was going on was pretty intimate. You stopped in the frame of the door and saw that Astarion was indeed sitting at the piano. His back was to you.

He softly played the keys and was humming to himself while the melody went on. It was hesitantly at some parts but still pretty impressive. The longer he played the more confident he got, the chords coming more quickly.

But then it ended promptly: a note amiss, Astarion angrily slammed his hands on the keys causing a discordant sound. Then he sighed in desperation and threw his head back. He was about to slam the case of the keys shut when you made yourself known: "I didn't know you could play."

Astarion winced and turned around as you walked over to him. "I don't really... It's been over two hundred years since I last played." "Sounded pretty good for that." He snorted and turned to the piano again while you slid down onto the bench next to him. He shuffled a little to make space for you.

You grabbed Astarion's hand that was closest to you and started to massage it. "You know how to do incredible things with these hands, Astarion, I bet you'd quickly take it up again if you wanted to." "Hmm yes, I bet you know exactly what these hands can do", Astarion replied with a smirk and a wink. Then the vampire sighed, his cheeky demeanor gone. You let go of his hand and stretched yours out to reach for the other. He gave it to you and you started massaging it as well.

"It's so frustrating", the vampire said with another sigh and looked at you. "Sometimes I'm reminded of something in the past, something I felt back then was true to myself. And some of these are things I want nothing more than to get rid off and then there's other stuff I would like to get back but it's all tainted." He softly took his hand from you and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "And then... there's stuff I desperately hope will be true for the rest of time." "Like for example?" "That you're here and that I love you, that there's always a path to take and that at the end of the road the clouds will always pass." You grabbed his hands from his eyes so he would look at you. "Well, the first one's a given, isn't it?", you said and leaned in for a kiss Astarion happily provided.

"And as for the rest", you continued, "I guess you can have and be all of the things because they're a part of you but it's up to you how you let them define you - and you can always make something new... something better." Astarion looked at you for a moment of silence. Then he tenderly cupped your cheek and pressed a soft kiss to your lips: "Then I guess I might have already started doing that."

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x oc #astarion x you #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #angst #fluff #piano playing

[damianbugs]

If you r still doing the fic recs, what are some good Bruce and Jason ones? I'm going insane

HELLO. oh my gosh. you know, since exam month has officially begun, i should be studying, but like, why would i do that when i could be doing this instead? this is like. so much more productive for my happiness.

it's no secret i am not normal absolutely totally insane about bruce and jason and OF COURSE i will rec you fics of them. i have 150+ bookmarks of fics just centred around them so i really tried to narrow it down to a few of my favourites. if you ever need anymore please ask again!

what a truly disastrous tragedy they are. the blueprint i fear. no fictional father and son has impacted me more. jason and bruce fic writers lace their works in crack because once you read one, you are stuck forever. there is no escape. trust me. anyways!

BRUCE AND JASON FIC RECS

don't take your guns to town by kreestar

batman comes home from a night patrolling to find a 10 year old jason todd waiting for him in his kitchen. across gotham, at the same time, red hood is stopped by a 25 year old bruce wayne.

MY NOTES: no one is surprised at all that the first fic on this list is time travel. the characterisation in this was insanely good especially between young bruce and jason i loved their parts. so bittersweet and the ending was lovely!

I Will Always Be There For You by squashflower

There's a closet in the manor that locks you inside. It has no lighting or heating or air conditioning of any kind, and Jason, safe to say, wishes he could burn it to the ground. Or shoot it. One of the two.

MY NOTES: there is just something so good about stories where it switches from robin jason to an experience mirrored by red hood jason and this is the perfect example. so so good.

all the small weights by sparkycap

When Batman gets hit with fear toxin, he worries about his Robins. His Robins think it's their job to deal with it. Jason wasn't aware anyone still included him in that group, but according to Tim, he's the only one available.

MY NOTES: fear toxin the trope that keeps on giving. best thing about this though is that the actual fear toxin is not the main part of the story, and i think it was handled so beautifully and maturely in a way i haven't seen before. i cried (twice).

-> just an aside, but i think you should read the other bruce and jason work by this specific writer. they're all insanely good.

Mermaid Tears by minnow_doodle_doo

And if real mermaid tears were what Jason wanted the world to have, Bruce would make Aquaman cry glass.

MY NOTES: teehee sorry for recommending ur own fic in ur ask minnow but this fic is just so sweet and special i need everyone to read it. a wonderful look into that all encompassing love bruce had for jason when things were much simpler for them.

Aftermath by ivy_and_ivory

Now: Batman is in Paris, pulled there by a case that extends beyond Gotham’s borders, when circumstances lead him to a badly injured Red Hood – who might hold the key to Batman’s investigation.

Then: The Red Hood storms into Gotham, begins to stake his claim on the criminal underground, then abruptly disappears – but only after he breaks into Arkham Asylum and leaves the Joker dead in his own cell.

Or: A study of why Bruce couldn’t kill the Joker, what would happen if someone else could – and how you move on from the aftermath.

MY NOTES: you know when you find a fic and you're just like. oh my god. this is it. this is exactly what i wanted. this is all that matters. yeah. that's this fic to me. im sort of obsessed with the idea of batman bonding with red hood without making the direct connection that it's jason.

A Straight Blade by Sparkypants

"What happened to your face?" Bruce asks, reaching his hand for Jason's jaw. "You're bleeding." Jason bristles, cheeks turning pink. "I cut myself shaving." He says, and wipes at the cut with the cuff of his hoody. Damian makes a clicking noise with his tongue, "I'm amazed you haven't taken your own head off." He snarks. Jason shoves his chair away from the table, temper flaring. "Well it's not like anyone ever taught me, is it." He hisses. He's five years late, but Bruce finally teaches Jason how to shave.

MY NOTES: i am so okay so normal about this fic. such a sweet little happy story but i was literally looking down at my screen squinting through my blurry vision because i was tearing up. the unknowing domestic simplicities of being father and son (hysterical sobbing)

Stargazer by LemonadeGarden

Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died. Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore. This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.

MY NOTES: okay so i think the best way to end this post is with the first ever bruce and jason centric work i ever read that changed the chemicals in my brain forever. THIS is the fic that made me really latch onto their relationship and want to see that reconciliation and recovery. THE roadtrip fic ever.

#bruce wayne #jason todd #oh how they r so important #batfamily fic recs #saki batfam fic recs #batman #red hood #robin ii

[femaletwstsupremacy]

Hello! I don't know if this is overly specific but could I request Malleus, Lilia, and Vil with a fem reader who is a very straight laced, formal, private type of person but beneath that mask cares immensely about the people around them and wants to protect them?

(No worries if not lol...I understand it's kind of hyperspecific.)

"𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙙."

✦ Content – Fem! twst, fluff, maybe some crack sprinkled in there? Throwing shade on Crowley, Reader is kind of a simp in Vil's part, A little suggestive (Lilia), mentions of gaslighting (Lilia spread her craziness to reader, hope they never recover🙏), general romance stuff, One/Oneself and You/Your are used to refer to reader, reader is a resident of Ramshackle.

Author's note: Hi anon, sorry this took a while to pump out. But it's here now so hooray! ♪(^∇^*) Not beta-read! Lilia might be ooc since I'm not used to writing her character-

MALLEUS DRACONIA...QUEEN OF BRIARS

You couldn't exactly keep your private life a secret from her since when you first met she was kinda already in it. As in, you're there outside Ramshackle busying yourself with a certain pastime when you suddenly get jumpscared by a woman – One that appeared out of thin air mind you – looking over your shoulder. Seemingly interested in what you were doing before she scared the daylights out of you. Obviously your first instinct is to try and elbow this random stranger behind you (key word: Try) which you failed miserably in because she had effortlessly dodged your blow.

Safe to say, your first meeting was awkward. It took about 5 mins for you two to stop staring at each other blankly as if you hadn't just tried to elbow her.

"If I may ask, who are you? Most importantly how did you even get here?"

"I was on a walk."

"That doesn't explain anything."

Eventually, you two get over the awkwardness. Obviously, Malleus doesn't divulge her name – Neither does she ask for yours. Calling you 'child of man' whilst you called her 'Tsunochojo' which earned you quite the chuckle from the fae. You two hit it off pretty well, what with your similar mannerisms it wasn't that unexpected. Malleus found conversations with you easy, with how interested you are every time she converses with you she needn't worry about being too 'boring' to talk to.

Eventually, Malleus finds herself coming back each night just to talk with you, though she doesn't have an inkling as to why. She just feels...a sort of attachment to you. As if the day she stops visiting you would instantly cut off the bond you two have created. Malleus' eyes widen as everything starts to click, are you two...perhaps friends..? Malleus instantly decides to confirm this with you come your next meeting.

It was very late into the night.

Though you've made it a point for yourself to have an optimal amount of time for sleep. However, a certain friend of yours decided that it was best to meet at the darkest of night. You sighed to yourself, The things you'd do for her...

No matter, no use mourning over past decisions. You thought wistfully.

You leaned back slightly on the palms of your hands, lightly raising your head to look at the bright moon overlooking from above. Crickets lightly chirped from around you, along with the sound of the soft rustling of leaves. You hummed a tune familiar to yourself as you closed your eyes to take in the relaxing atmosphere.

When you opened them, a small green firefly came into your peripheral vision. You reached out, trying to take it into your hand. But your efforts – although insignificant – are for naught as the firefly drifts farther away. Feeling slightly dejected, you placed your hand back into its former position. Just when you were about to close your eyes to enjoy the tranquil atmosphere once more, a melodious laugh suddenly enters your ears. With not even a hint of surprise, you turn to look from behind and face your surprise guest. There Malleus stood with her chin between her fingers, a broad smile on her lips.

"How long have you been standing there?" You asked curiously. In truth, she'd been here for a while. Watching you closely in the cover of darkness, not saying word until she saw your silly gesture and couldn't help the laugh that fell out.

"I've just arrived" She says, an obvious lie falling from her lips. Though, you don't mind all that much. You've already known that your friend is quite elusive, so you didn't pry. You lightly patted the spot next to you, inviting Malleus to take a seat.

Malleus obliges and sits down next to you. A wave a restlessness washes over Malleus, though she doesn't show it on her expression. The both of you stay silent for a while before Malleus spoke up, "Child of man..." She trails off, chewing her lip slightly in nervousness. You perk up at the sound of her voice, waiting for her to continue with an attentive ear.

"Are...are we friends?" She asks, reluctance in her tone whilst she turns her head away. Her question was greeted with a long pause. Malleus felt uncertainty gnawing at her insides, was she perhaps wrong to think she finally had a friend?

A light laugh takes Malleus out of her depressing thoughts, making Malleus turn her head back to look at you.

"Silly tsunochojo, what made you think we weren't friends?" You had on a soft smile on your face, your eyes filled with mirth. Malleus' eyes widened at this. This is the first time she had seen such an expression, her heart can't help but throb at the sight. Warmth spread through her body, she couldn't tell if the euphoria came from your smile or the fact that you confirmed that you were actual friends; Perhaps it was both.

But accompanying that feeling of euphoria was immense relief. All her worries and pessimism had all been for nothing and she is more than glad that is the case.

Seeing how silent Malleus had been your expression shifted to one of confusion. Noticing this, Malleus snapped out of her stupor and cleared her throat.

"It..." Malleus pauses, attempting to formulate a response. "It was just a silly thought of mine." She finishes, a fond smile on her face.

Truly, a silly thought indeed...

LILIA VANROUGE...SEEKER OF CRADLES

Scared you to death by coming down from the ceiling upside down and making an ungodly screech. Not the best first meeting, Malleus really takes after this cheeky fae in this aspect. Though she did apologize right after, it didn't really sound like she was sorry about it with the giggles she let out while doing so. How could she not? Your reaction was priceless! It might as well keep her laughing for days. Thus, you have sparked the interest of the cheeky fae.

Day after day, Lilia would suddenly pop out of nowhere to scare you. In her own words, your reactions just keeps getting even funnier! The way you look when you brace yourself for a scare and failing miserably to catch her beforehand, is very endearing to her. At this point, you've already given up on stopping her. Though her company wasn't that bad you think to yourself. Usually after scaring you, Lilia would come down from her spot and strike a conversation with you.

It was pleasant to say the least, her voice was calming and pleasant to the ear. Paired with her choice of words, you feel as if you're transported to another world when she tells you stories of the past in great detail. You would find yourself conversing with her for hours, only ending when need be. Likewise, Lilia finds her time with you very pleasant. Precious even, with how much fun she had. The way you speak is so cute to her! Reminds her of how Malleus is like.

Eventually, Lilia starts inviting you to Diasomnia to have tea with her. By now you've already opened up to Lilia and talked about yourself more rather than just general matters. Making the topics for your conversations more broader, not to say that you and Lilia couldn't find stuff to talk about. Anything and everything was on the table when it comes to her. From music, to poetry, and somehow frog anatomy??? You don't exactly remember how you've even made it to that topic. But as the months go by, you start to notice Lilia's strange behaviors. It happened one time when you were having tea with her. You were having a wonderful time when Lilia suddenly rose from her seat and walked over to your side of the table. Confused, you asked her what she was doing. And Lilia being Lilia, just chuckled and told you to sit still with no intention of telling you what's on her mind until she does it.

You jumped when you felt Lilia's hands card through your hair, not used to your hair being brushed through after so long. But eventually you relaxed and let Lilia do her thing. This went on for an hour before Lilia finally stopped her ministrations on your hair. At the time, you thought that would be the end of it. Oh, how wrong you were.

"Lilia...please.." You say helplessly, but your pleas fall on deaf ears as Lilia continues to coo at you while she plays with your hair. If in the past, you knew that letting Lilia play with your hair the first time would lead to this; You would have never let her do so. Since for the past few days you've visited, Lilia would – without fail – start to play with your hair and coo at you for hours on end.

This was one of those times. "Oh, you're so adorable beastie~" Lilia coos in your ear as she slowly drags the tip of her finger from your chin to your jawline. Oh, now this was new. You could feel your whole body shiver from the feeling of Lilia's breath on your ear. Your face starts to heat up as you close your eyes shut, "Lilia, please don't do that. It's not proper." You scold, though it doesn't sound all that much like a scolding with how small your voice was. Lilia just chuckles in response, clearly amused with your reaction.

Still with your eyes shut, you could feel Lilia playing with your hair again. With an occasional crafty hand brushing against your neck. But other than that, Lilia had done nothing more for the next few minutes.

The room had settled into a relative silence, only the click of Lilia's heels every time she shifted her footing could be heard every few seconds. However, unlike reality your mind was a cluttering mess. If one were able to listen in to your thoughts, they would only be able to make out the words: Lilia, embarrassing, and a multitude of curse words accompanied by screaming.

Just what happened there???

That one thought is the best way to summarize everything that was in your head. You had goosebumps just thinking about it, even worse was that it was a good type of goosebumps. You can't believe yourself for reacting the way you did. Perhaps it had been the potion you drank accidentally days ago...

Your woeful thoughts came to a halt when you no longer felt the light tugs on your hair from Lilia's brushing. Your eyes – which had stayed closed – flew open. You quickly raised your head to look around, but as you do so a sudden pair hands grab your face. You instantly felt your fight or flight instinct go up. Unfortunately, before you could even take a hit at your assailant, they had put your lips on yours!

Your eyes widened in shock, a feeling of shame settling in your gut. You screwed your eyes shut, adamant at not looking properly at the assailant who took your first (first!) kiss. After what felt like an eternity, they had finally pulled away from your lips. You gasped out embarrassingly when they had done so.

You weren't given the chance gather your thoughts properly when a familiar chuckle of amusement echoed on the walls, giving you another (unhealthy) dose of shock.

"Lilia!!???" You say incredulously, your voice a tad bit louder than you had intended. Lilia hummed, acknowledging your call. The best way to describe your positions at the moment would be 'face-to-face.' Since the cheeky fae was quite literally in your face, upside down too! You sighed out, almost forgetting the situation at hand; almost. But unfortunately, the memory and embarrassment was still fresh in your mind. Enough to make you disregard Lilia's awkward position.

You cleared your throat in an attempt to make yourself much more composed that you actually are and faced Lilia with a complicated expression, "What...what was that?" You asked, bewilderment and hesitance evident in your speech.

Lilia raised her eyebrows at you, though admittedly it looked a bit silly when she was upside down. "Wasn't it obvious beastie?" Lilia shot your question with another one of her own, you don't know whether to laugh or cry at that. Your mouth opened as if to answer her, but you close your mouth once more when you realize that you don't have the words for it.

The way you gaped like a fish out of water was enough to make Lilia chuckle fondly. "Don't laugh at me." You whine out, the color in your cheeks resurfacing once more.

You decide to let Lilia laugh it off until she can no longer let out a giggle. While she does that, you start thinking. Lilia can't be feeling what you think she feels, right? Right? But no matter how much you try to delude yourself, the fact is plain to see. Even someone as dense as Silver and Kalim combined could see it! You could keep trying to gaslight yourself but you'd be too far gone if you did that.

The urge to bury your face into your hands was strong. But since you had a one person audience (Lilia), you settled on not doing so. Instead you touched your lips delicately, tracing the whole of where Lilia had put her lips. The longer you touch your lips, the more stuffy your heart gets. Almost to the point it hurts. Your motions pause as you catch up to your thoughts, Ah...it seems that you share the same affection Lilia feels...

VIL SCHÖNHEIT...THE FAIREST QUEEN

Your meeting was entirely by chance. There was a research project for Magic History and you just so happened to get paired up with Vil. First impressions between you two were mild, with no particular dislikes about each other. You run over the details of the project with her and eventually decide to meet at the library at 5pm to work on it. By the time you had to meet up, Vil was pleasantly surprised. Not only did you not skip out on her but you arrived at 5pm on the dot. You really are punctual aren't you? Vil thought.

When both of you discussed the details earlier, Vil thought you only spoke that way because you were in class. But it turns out you normally spoke that way. In a sense, she appreciated it, much more pleasing to the ears than Leona's crass vocabulary. Thus, you two went to work. While doing so, Vil took the chance to examine your appearance more carefully. Your hair was tied back into a clean hairdo, thus making sure no stray hairs would accidentally get in your face. You had on the proper uniform, not one part of it missing or unbuttoned. Vil also took notice of the lack of creases on your uniform and gave her silent praise.

You two finished the project in one sitting with flying colors. Vil is more than grateful to you for that. As you went to pack up your things, Vil invited you to come to a small cafe on the island as a payment of your efforts of sorts. You put up quite the argument on how that isn't necessary but Vil still managed to make you succumb to her wishes. Tomorrow, at 3pm sharp. Is the words that Vil had departed with, a bright smile on her face. You can't help but feel a strange dread for what's about to come in the following day.

You made sure to look presentable on the day, you didn't have much fashionable wear packed with you since you expected to stay exclusively on campus. You sighed out, you never expected Vil to be so pushy. After checking over your outfit one last time, you departed from school grounds. Vil was already there with a table, waiting for your arrival. You walked over and was stunned into silence because of Vil's appearance. Don't get yourself wrong, you knew Vil was beautiful. But right now, she seemed even more dazzling. Vil slightly smiled once she caught sight of you and ushered you over to sit with her, all while you stared dumbly at her.

Once you finally came to your senses, shame enveloped your whole body. How could you just stare at her so shamelessly like that??? You sigh inwardly. No matter, it's not like you can turn back time anyway. You sat down with Vil, looking anywhere other than her due to embarrassment. Now that you were here, Vil ordered for you both. As you wait for your orders to arrive, Vil indulges in some small talk with you. How was your stay at night raven, what have you been doing today, any hobbies, etc. You answered all her questions amicably, giving her questions of your own from time to time. Minutes pass by and the waiter places your orders on the table with a well-practiced customer service smile. But even when your food was on the table, the conversation did not cease. Though, you both make sure to talk between bites and sips so neither party chokes.

Hours passed by seamlessly, you almost didn't realize it was getting late. You enjoyed your company far too much that it slipped your mind. And from Vil's expression, you could guess that the feeling was mutual. Before you two set off on your separate ways, Vil invited you to hang out again. And again, and again. Every time you cross paths it almost feels as if you'd both get closer by the second. Eventually, Vil decides that the next time you meet, it would be in her room.

You arrived at 1pm just as Vil told you, going through the mirror when you weren't from the dorm was...awkward to say the least. The awkwardness spiked by ten times when you made it to the other side.

Now, standing in front of the dorm's pristine gates makes one feel...extremely out of place. You sighed in self-pity, just how did you manage to end up in this situation...You hardened your heart. In the end, there was not much you could do since you were already here, so you took the chance to look at your surroundings. As expected, the dorm was massive. What was unexpected but expected was that the dorm looked like a queen's lofty castle. On one hand, it made sense. The dorm was based off the Fairest Queen, so naturally they would pay tribute by making the dorm like her residence. But on another hand, isn't this a dorm for students!? They might as well be royals to be living in there!

You looked around some more and came to a conclusion. Everything about Pomefiore's decor screamed extravagance at every turn. The fact that you're not even inside makes you more reluctant to go...

You're dragged out of your thoughts by a sudden enthusiastic voice from beside your ear. You yelped in surprise. Swiftly, you turned to see just who sneaked up on you.

"Bonjour! It's a pleasure to see you today mademoiselle." Your assailant exclaimed. She had on a wide smile, her eyes shaped like crescents. Whilst she said those words, she tipped her hat in greeting. From her looks, you could say that she greatly embodied the word, 'charming.' Her makeup was very well done, almost as if a professional had done it. And her voice was full and melodious. From her uniform, you can clearly tell she was from Pomefiore.

Well, her looks is certainly worthy of being a Pomefiore student. You praised inwardly. Seeing that you haven't responded yet, your assailant called out to you again in a confused tone, "Mademoiselle?" You let out a small 'ah' in response and instantly straightened yourself up. You cleared your throat in an attempt to regain your dignity and spoke up "I apologize for staying silent and screaming when you greeted me." Inwardly you thought, Technically she snuck up on me but it would be bad manners if I said that...

Your assailant brightened her expression once more, "Aucun problème! You must be Vil's guest I assume?" She inquired.

"Ah, yes. I am. Are you perhaps familiar with her?" You questioned.

"But why of course! I'm her Vice after all. Rook Hunt at your service.~" Your assailant, which you now know as Rook answered, taking her hat off her head and putting it to her chest whilst she introduced herself. Her upper body leaning forward in a bow. She continued, "Vil should be waiting for you inside, I'll escort you in."

You hum in acknowledgement as Rook stands up straight once more. She turns, reaching out to you with a beckoning hand. You oblige and follow her through the dorms gates.

As one expects, the inside is far more extravagant than the outside. Pomefiore is truly worthy of being the dorm of the Fairest Queen. The marble floors were so pristine that you could see your reflection. You worry that your shoes could perhaps sully the floor. You continue to walk on and follow Rook from behind, occasionally looking around to admire the interior. Eventually she stopped, signaling that you've arrived at your destination. Rook turned to you and extended her hand towards the front of a lavish door, beckoning you to knock. You do so, knocking on the door three times before taking a step back and waiting for it to open. A few seconds passed and eventually the door opened to reveal Vil.

Her hair was tied back in a braided bun, her bangs going over the intricate golden crown on her head. She had on her dorm uniform, her long sleeves making an elegant trail on her figure. Her makeup was impeccable as one would expect. Making her already beautiful face much more beautiful than before. You can't help but blush a little and stare at her awestruck. You're once again dragged out of your stupor when Vil greets you with a small smile, she moves aside from the door and invites you in. You bow your head slightly before coming in through the door.

Stepping into Vil's room could easily make one feel overwhelmed, You're no exception. You weren't given the chance to look around properly when Vil ushers you to sit by her vanity table.

Once you've sat down, Vil starts to roam around the room grabbing multiple bottles and hair appliances. When she felt that what she had was enough, she starts to line them up on the table at a quick pace. You try to read some the brand names from bottles Vil had already placed down and as expected, you don't know a single one. Not like that so called 'ever so gracious' Crowley even gave you the luxury having any branded item from this world, he's quite cheap despite being a headmaster of a revered school.

You continue to skim through the brands, making a face or two at some of the strange name choices. Some noteworthy ones would have to be 'Poison Apple' ' Sun Mane' 'Underworld Fire' etc. Even if in another world, companies will continue to be weird with their names.

The distinct sound of bottles being set down on the tables suddenly stopped, you averted your attention from the bottles and instead directed it to Vil. You look at her in slight curiosity, waiting to see her next move. Vil just smiles softly in response before sating your curiosity, "We'll be doing your hair this time around, I've noticed that your hair isn't all that well maintained." Vil says as she moves to stand behind your seat. The dorm leader takes a part of your hair and displays it through the mirror to further establish her point.

You smile sheepishly at her words. While you do make it a point to take care of your appearance, you don't exactly have the resources for it. The money you were provided with came solely from Crowley but it was only the bare minimum for survival. You say so to Vil and she visibly frowns at your explanation.

"I knew the headmaster was incompetent in some ways but this is just ridiculous." Vil says with viciousness in her tone, her lips twisting into one of a scowl as she starts to brush oils through your hair. "This is about the well-being of a student! How could she not provide the necessary resources!?" Vil continues on with her rant whilst brushing through your hair. You don't stop her from criticizing Crowley, letting her run her mouth however she liked. It's not like any of her words were false anyway.

You settled on closing your eyes and taking in the relaxing feeling of Vil's nails lightly scratching against your scalp as she applies more product into your hair. Noticing your relaxed state, Vil quieted down and started to work silently on your hair.

The muted sounds of bottles, curlers and straighteners clinking against the surface of the table and an occasional hum from Vil were the only things you heard in the past few minutes. The sounds only adding more to the relaxing atmosphere. You sigh out, you felt like shedding tears because of the service Vil is providing you after so long of having none of it.

Vil chuckles near your ear, startling you enough to open your eyes. "We're finished." Upon hearing her words, you shift your gaze to the mirror and you feel your breath leave you for a moment. You look stunning, more than you had ever been these past few months. The urge to cry came back stronger now, your eyes starting to get watery. You tearfully see Vil smile softly through the mirror. With her soft hands, she tucks a stray strand behind your ear and places her hands on your shoulders, looking at you through the mirror with undeniable affection.

"You look beautiful."

Made by @femaletwstsupremacy. Please do not copy, use, or steal my work.

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twst #genderbent #genderswap #Fem twst #Female twst #malleus draconia #twst malleus #fem malleus #female malleus #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia x you #malleus x reader #malleus x yuu #twisted wonderland malleus #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia x reader #twst lilia #twisted wonderland lilia #fem lilia #female lilia #vil schoenheit #vil x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #vil twisted wonderland

[islandofsages]

darling heart.

summary: in which you are someone who participates in/identifies with jirai kei culture.

characters: heartslabyul boys x gn reader

tags: relationship not specified, fluff, imagines format

warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of self-destructive tendencies

author's notes: hiiii this is very self-indulgent bc i am a jirai kei babe,, im specifically a jirai danshi <3 i might do for other dorms too, depending on my motivation lol you can find out more by searching up jirai kei tho dont just read the jfashion wiki for it, it's more than just a fashion style. also beware of potentially triggering stuff since it deals with mental health and all

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s intrigued by this subculture that you participate in and he’d ask you more about it, if you don't mind telling him - he’ll do his own research too anyway

When he finds out it's basically a subculture consisting of people with emotion dysregulation issues and is generally controversial, he checks up on you and asks you if you're okay or not

You laugh then – you’ve had your ups and downs but really, so has everyone. You hope reading about it hasn't scared him off

He’d feel like calling you a “landmine type” is too insensitive but you assure him that there's nothing to worry about and that people who participate in the subculture has reclaimed such stereotypes and fully embrace it

He’d really enjoy seeing you decked out in jirai kei fashion; he may want to try it himself but he’d insist that it's not in his place to participate, only support from the sidelines

You do get him to try out clothes that are similar to or inspired by the culture though – he seems to be comfortable in the style and you're happy that something that you enjoy can also bring the same joy to him

You’ll also recommend some songs to him, especially ones that you think would help him in studying despite the sometimes concerning lyrical content

If someone tries to bully you for identifying with the subculture, he’d step in immediately and defend your honor

“What right do you have in deciding what (Y/N) identifies with? That's what I thought. I’m always in the right.”

Through your downs and ups, Riddle will always be there for you.

Ace Trappola

He has heard of it before but he thought it was only a type of fashion, not a whole subculture with more substance to it than clothes

You’d infodump to him all about it and your journey with it, whether you just discovered it or have been identifying with it for a long time – he listens to you curiously all the while

He’s caught off guard for a moment by the more controversial and depressing part of it but he quickly recovers

He’s happy for you and glad that you’re comfortable having such a culture define a part of you

Though he implores not to do all the self-destructive stuff if you could and he’ll look out for you more just in case

He definitely thinks you rock while wearing your jirai kei outfits; it’s not his style but he wouldn’t mind trying it once, just to get a feel for the style

“Yeah, this is definitely not my thing… you, on the other hand, look pretty awesome.”

You’d give him a link for your playlist (or a playlist you’ve saved) and he’d listen to it when he’s bored – ends up adding a few songs to his personal playlist

If he finds anyone stereotyping you unnecessarily, he’ll call them out, saying as if they’re any better

Despite everything, you are still uniquely you in his eyes.

Deuce Spade

He apologizes for not knowing too much about it when you bring it up and you tell him it’s okay because it gives you an excuse to ramble about it

You tell him what it entails and how you’ve come to find out about it, sifting through your past experiences both good and bad

He tries very hard to be understanding, even if he doesn’t really get it. You’re just grateful to have his support

“I don’t really get it but it gives you a sense of community, right? I think that’s pretty cool!”

He’s also a little concerned about the mental illness part so he’d regularly check up on you to make sure you’re doing okay

He’d ask you to tell him more about your experiences with the subculture if you have any more and if anything exciting happens, you go to him first

Such as acquiring a brand new article of jirai kei clothing for example! He thinks the style is super pretty and fits you really, really well

He’d listen to the music together with you, sharing earphones and all – maybe he would even listen to them while he tries to do anything

He’ll be your guard dog and bite back whoever dares to make fun of you for being part of the subculture’s community you’ll have to calm him down sometimes

You couldn’t ask for a better cheerleader than him.

Cater Diamond

He’s always known about the subculture and although he doesn't participate in it, he thinks it's really neat

You tell him more about it and about the misconceptions people have about it so that he doesn't misunderstand

He’s super stoked that he knows someone in real life who actually participates in the subculture since he gets to see how it actually is in reality

He mostly knows about the fashion and when you come rocking up to him wearing the classic jirai kei look, he tries his best not to fanboy

He compliments you then proceeds to ask you where you got it – though cute styles like it aren’t his thing, he feels like he can give this style a try

He’d match with you on days he doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with more cutesy styles and snap pictures of you two to post on Magicam

He’d also go scouring for the music online to add more songs to his already rapidly growing playlist. He’d share some recommendations with you too!

Unintentionally got you more jirai kei friends since some people saw his posts about matching with you on Magicam; even people you already know commented on his post

“Look at us, (Y/N)! We’re totally Magicam-famous now~”

You laugh with him, head thrown back while the seeds of your relationship bloom behind where the two of you sit.

Trey Clover

He doesn’t know too much about it so he’ll ask you to explain to him what it is – to which you excitedly agree to

You tell him everything from the origins to how you’ve come to participate in the subculture – he nods patiently all the while

The mental health part of it has him questioning you a bit but he has no ill intention, he’s simply looking out for you and is worried about you

He’s supportive all the way and thinks it’s nice that you have something you’re passionate about. He’d even do his own research when he has the time

He’s pleasantly surprised when you show up wearing jirai kei fashion one day; he definitely thinks you look striking in the get-up

He wouldn’t mind going with you if you were to shop for more jirai kei-related things – he would joke you’ll have to repay by helping him out another time though

He’ll listen to your song recommendations and if he likes them enough, he’d listen to them while he’s in the kitchen. He likes that they remind him of you

“Oh, this one’s pretty catchy. …These lyrics though…”

Going places with you certainly catches attention sometimes but he doesn’t mind, as long as you’re happy and comfortable in your own skin

His name truly defines him – you sure feel lucky to have him in your life.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #platonic twst x reader #platonic twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #cater diamond #cater diamond x reader #trey clover #trey clover x reader

[strawberryfairi]

A Sensual Surprise 🩵

Satoru Gojo X Black Fem Reader smut🤎💦 (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️)

It's four in the morning and you're long gone fast asleep in bed, having drifted off to sleep hours and hours ago.

The place is quiet, not a single sound in your apartment except for the soft, minor key ambient music playing from your Macbook on the dresser a few feet from your bed.

It's a fairly new discovery for you, ambient music. The ethereal eleven hour long youtube video with visuals of space and surreal looking art of planets showed from the dimmed down laptop screen. It was the perfect way to help you get a full nights sleep, especially during times like these when Satoru is off somewhere being a hero.

Sometimes it's a few days, others it's weeks, and then the worst ones of all...when he's gone for a month or more.

It's been eight weeks since Satoru had to leave for Europe, Austria to be exact. You'd never been, yet you always hear folks saying how it's so beautiful, and so of course you were excited and suggested to come along with him this time. But Satoru's protective over you, and always thinks realistically.

"You know that's not a good idea. I can't be worried about your safety while I'm working." He'd said, his tone dead serious yet soft.

"I know..." You sighed with a disappointed frown, feeling your heart sink to your feet.

"Just stay home, baby. I'll come back." He hummed, lifting your chin up and leaning down to plant a little kiss on your lips.

You don't get to really talk to him much during these times when he's working from far away, the time zones and overall busyness making it nearly impossible to communicate for longer than a few short texts back and forth, or a couple minutes phone call.

At this point you felt you were basically in a long distance relationship, but you love Satoru, so you're always faithful and wait for him to come back home with as much patience as you can muster.

Tonight though, your wait would soon be over. Satoru had been planning his surprise for you days before he'd get on his flight back to Japan, and now he could finally execute it in real time.

He eased his way into the apartment, shutting the front door quietly and making his way to the bedroom. One by one he sheds off his clothes and sets down the bags on bags of random gifts and trinkets he got for you while in Austria.

He couldn't help the wide, loving smile that made it's way across his lips as he watched your sleeping form on the queen sized bed. His heart was so warmed, he found you just so damn cute with your relaxing music on to help you sleep without him.

You were laying on your back, wearing your light blue, satin bonnet with a cute bow that he picked out for you himself a few months ago at the quaint new beauty supply store you'd tried out. He knew you always wore that one specifically whenever he was away. He made a mental note to steal it and wear it himself tomorrow when you finally take it off just to mess with you and make you laugh.

He eagerly pulls the sheets and comforter from the foot of the bed, untucking it as he sneaks underneath. You've always been an extremely light sleeper, hearing every single little noise, so over time he's gotten his technique together so he doesn't prematurely wake you up and scare you.

He gets to around your pretty thighs, slowly opening your legs so he could rest himself right in between. He pauses, feeling you slightly stir and try to reposition your legs how you had them before, yet stop when your body gives up.

"Don't wake up, baby..." He coos barely above a whisper, using all his might not to rush into his plan.

You're wearing your usual sleep attire, nothing but an oversized t-shirt and panties. He'd prefer it if you skipped on the panties as it would make what he's about to do easier, but he can work with it.

Satoru shifts your legs over his broad, muscular shoulders, licking his lips excitedly as he goes to slowly shift your cute, black panties to the side. You stir again, this time a bit more than before, but by now he doesn't really care too much. His warm lips graze and brush against your soft, smooth thighs, basking in the feeling of your skin against his once again.

He plants the most gentlest kisses up each leg, up and up until he reaches his most precious treasure.

All it took was one kiss against your clit to wake you, jumping slightly as your hands fly downwards to his head underneath the covers. You let out a noise of shock and confusion, your mind feeling disoriented since you were so abruptly ripped out of your sleep.

Satoru continues on anyways as if nothing even happened, stroking your thighs with his hands as he gives a long, slow lick between your folds. A blend between a gasp and moan breaks past your lips, eyes widening as you rip the blankets away.

You're speechless, only able to look down in astonishment. Blue eyes meet your pretty dark brown ones, a light chuckle vibrating against your pussy.

"S-Satoru..?" You mutter breathily, your voice a bit raspy and weak.

"Mhmm." He moans back, running circles around your clit with his tongue. You wanted to talk more, tell him you're so glad he's back, and that you missed him so much, but the way he's eating you out so slowly and passionately is making your head spin even more than it already was.

"Mmmmm." You moan lowly, taking your hands and placing them in his soft, white hair. The once ethereal music-filled bedroom now became a cacophony of lewd moans, panting, and the sloppy wet sounds of his tongue lapping against your needy pussy.

"You missed me, baby?" He purrs between licks, looking deep into your eyes.

"Mhmm! S-so much." You moan airily, beginning to tug onto his hair.

His tongue moved faster, skillfully attempting to bury itself inside your little hole, then flicking and swirling around your clit.

"Ooooooh", You throw your head back in ecstasy, "Don't stop, don't stop!"

Your legs start to shake, quickly becoming overwhelmed as you reach what would be your first orgasm of the night.

"Cum on my tongue, princess." He commands lowly. Your back arches off the bed, eyes squeezing shut. You do exactly as he says, clenching your thighs around his face as you cum right on his eager tongue. Satoru laps up every last bit of your (what he believes strongly is) honey-like cum, not letting a single drop of nectar go to waste.

You pant heavily, trying to come down from the high he granted you yet his tongue keeps going, not even bothering to slow down a little bit.

It was then that you immediately realize it was definitely going to be a long night, and you didn't mind in the slightest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mmmm, I missed my tight little pussy so much." He moans lowly, rolling his hips into you harder.

You'd lost count how many times he'd made you cum at this point, you were a hot mess, legs held open wide by his large hands as he pounds into you. The way his hips snap into yours makes you see stars, eyes rolling back as your pussy keeps tightly squeezing his dick.

"I-I can't....baby!" You whimper, trying to tell him you were tapping out. To be honest, you'd tapped out waaaay long ago while he was still just eating you out, but he didn't care.

Satoru was focused, set on a mission to beat his pretty pussy up all night into the morning, making you cum as many times as he sees fit. You love the way he looks on top of you, so damn sexy with his hair sticking to his skin, and those big muscles you love tensing and releasing with every stroke.

"You're doin' so good taking this dick, baby. Creamin' all over me..." He coos into your ear, keeping his strokes hard and deep. His right hand releases your leg, placing itself right on your neck and choking you just the way he knows you like it. Your body shakes violently underneath him, about to cum again just from the sound of his voice and his hand around your throat.

"Oh my god! I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" You announce frantically, digging your nails roughly into his back as your walls flutter, granting him yet another sweet orgasm.

"Fuuuck babygirl. You look so pretty cumming all over me like that."

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Y'all this idea hit me literally out of nowhere and I JUST HAD to get to typin'!!!

#satoru gojo smut #satoru gojo #black female reader #jjk #gojo jjk #gojo smut #gojo x you #satoru gojo x black! fem reader #satoru gojo x black!reader #strawberryfairi🧚🏾‍♀️ #Gojo is just...uugh! #gojou satoru x reader #satoru smut

[getinthefuckingcarkitten]

Ok now i'm thinking about Robin again bc of that post... And Robin and my PC's relationship.

Like imagine you have a friend. She's your best friend in the whole world. You grew up together and have always been there for each other. You were never as brave as her who kept picking fights on your behalf, but you were the only one who could give her some comfort, who ever even really saw that tough girl cry. As you guys grew up, though, things started to change.

You have always slept in the same bed and cuddled up together, right? But now it feels so different. You notice your heart speeds up when she hugs you. One day you wake up and she's staring at you in a way that makes you blush and hold her tighter to hide your face.

You know she'll always protect you and pick fights on your behalf just like when you were kids, though, so for a while you hide it when things get bad. You have to make money so you sell your most beloved belongings. She notices and for a moment you fear she's going to do something stupid, but she just takes on your burden and happily tells you you don't have to worry anymore.

You realize you're in love with her. You might always have been in love with her. You think about all your moments together, and wonder if she could feel the same.

When you decide to tell her, though, she shows up with a girlfriend. A scrawny girl from her English class who everyone avoids at the hallways.

"She's bullied a lot." Your friend says, showing her savior complex. "I had to help her."

"Did you have to date her, though?" You try not to let the jealousy show in your voice. "I mean, do you even like her?"

Your friend stays quiet, and that's the end of the conversation as she presses to load your save on Castlevania. You don't mention her girlfriend again.

Then, she starts showing up a bit later to the class you have together. She's always at the library, and you naively hoped that she had just been picking up her studies since she had always been a slacker. Key word, naively. Once the librarian's assistant kisses her cheek on her way out of the canteen, you snap. You leave her behind and don't even care when her weird, jealous girlfriend slips on your table and starts clinging to your friend. You just go to your class, pretending none of this is real.

That doesn't last, and you knew it wouldn't. She knocks on your door at night, looking weary from her waitressing job and saying she was worried you wouldn't let her in.

"She's a friend." She explains, talking about the librarian's assistant. "Like, come on, you know how religious she is. She wouldn't even look at me that way..."

You don't buy it, but you find it strange that she's bringing it up to you. You ask her why she's even explaining herself, and for the first time in forever, you see her hesitate.

Then, she kisses you. It could have been the best day of your life, and it briefly was, but then you remember she still has a girlfriend. She tells you that the note you put in her room and then took away as soon as you came back from school, she read it. She knows how you feel, and she feels the same. She was just afraid of it seeming like she was taking advantage of your reliance on her. You could cry, then.

It's only after you two let out all of the tension that had been building up inside of you both for years that she shatters your world.

"I'm not breaking up with her." She tells you, no longer hesitating after you ask if her girlfriend isn't going to be upset if they break up. At your flabbergasted expression, she continues. "She needs me."

"What about me?" You allow yourself to be selfish again. Don't you need her?

"...You know me." She smiles weakly. "You're always first to me. But... I can't let people push her around again. I just can't."

You wonder how having her tongue deep inside that girl's throat does anything to stop the bullies, but you don't have the courage to say it with your chest. You've never been as brave as her. That's the end of the conversation, and you know you'll ruin it, the thing you've dreamed of for so long, if you push your luck too far.

So you try to make amends. You can have her every day, most of the time, you try to remind yourself, and her so-called girlfriend only clings to her for a few minutes during lunch time. That's bearable. You can do it. You can do it to sleep with her every night, to kiss her every morning. Keeping that girl safe is important to her, so you bear it even if you don't get it.

So you bear it. You bear it when she definitely seems much closer to the librarian's assistant now, as they leave you to stare at her girlfriend stab food with a fork during lunch and then you see them in hallway as they giggle with their arms intertwined, sharing a milkshake like you used to do with her. You even bear it when she starts getting friendlier with that one bully who has always made your lives hell. And you bear it as you see her girlfriend taking your place in her bed as you try to slip into her room, knowing you can't say anything about it.

You wish you could stop, but it's all you can do. She still gives you strength, she tells people off when they make fun of you for dressing like a boy (like yourself, you try to say, even if no one listens), she protects you from worse threats on the daily. Bearing it is maybe the least you can do.

You turn your anger outwards. The first time you hit someone with a book for giving her pain, she looks at you differently. Maybe that was what you were missing all along. When you slip into her room that night, she seems much eager to have your body as close as possible to her own.

You stare at the little owl her girlfriend gave her, and disgust that can only be washed away by her sweet kisses fills your mouth. You really wish you didn't have to bear it, especially not in your own home. You wish that creepy girl had to be the one to see the person she loved clinging to someone else, for a change.

Ah, yes, how you wish she'd see it.

#i got possessed to write this #@dolxiba this is ur fault. btw #dol robin #ronnie the prince #dolgl

[violetsiren90]

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 1 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~6k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment industry; character experience and description of disassociation; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate skinship; cursing; conversations surrounding soulmates and sex; character experiences an emotional breakdown; light embarrassment; CONFLICT (you knew it was coming, right?), there is plenty of fluffy stuff too I PROMISE 😂😅

Author's Note: Wow. It's been a minute. If you're still reading this story, thank you for sticking with me, and I apologize for the stretch of time between updates. For the longest time, I just couldn't get this part right...and then it was far too long, so I split it up, and I'm still editing the second, and (potentially) third parts. I got several messages from readers who were worried I might have abandoned this fic, and let me assure you, far from it! I am not a speedy writer, and struggle with doubting if what I'm putting on the page is good enough, so sometimes it takes me a minute to update, but let me assure you, these characters are so special to me and so alive in me, and I ask thank you for your patience as I work to tell their story! Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and feedback on the story - I appreciate each and every one of them!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"I needed the light of your energy, I looked around, devouring hope."

~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

  "FUCKING FINALLY."

    "Hey, Di."

    "How dare you ghost me for the forty-eight most interesting hours of your life?!"

    "Well, I was low-key occupied..."

    "TELL ME EVERYTHING." 

     You sighed, settling down on a shaded bench in the garden grounds of the hospital to which you had escaped for a little privacy and an important phone call or two.

    "Uh oh. That was your 'things are complicated' sigh," Diana prodded.

    Your eyes tracked a swallowtail as it flitted from azalea to azalea.

    "Well, things certainly aren't conventional or straight-forward, that's for sure. But where's the fun in understanding the basic parameters of what you're getting yourself into on a life-altering scale, right?"

    "Ummmm...what does that mean? You met him, right?"

You could barely hear your sister's question over the crinkle of plastic in the background.

    "Yeah, I did. We bonded too."

    "Oh mah gah!!" Diana choked out amidst sounds of crunchy chewing. "So what's he like?"

    You thought for a moment.

    "He's kind and intelligent. Obviously extremely resilient. His presence is impressive, but he has something about him that's very disarming. He's kind of clumsy and at moments almost...shy? Like, I don't know what I expected, but there's this sweetness to him that you wouldn't anticipate from someone in his position."

    "As a cancer patient?"

    "As an idol."

    You sighed again.

    "I don't know...he's..."

    Diana let out a strangled sound and uttered an enthusiastic string of words you couldn't make out.

    "I have no idea what you just said. Could you please decide whether you want to talk to me or consume an entire bag of Doritos?" 

    "Hey, it's dinner time here!" she whined, "And I said," her voice quickly changed to take on a smug sing-song tone, "That last sigh was your smitten-kitten one..."

    "It was not!" you cut her off sharply. "And get every single idea of Namjoon and I as a couple out of that scheming head of yours because he's very much taken. I'm meeting his fiancée for lunch today."

    "What? He's engaged?"

Diana let out an exasperated huff.

"Why didn't they tell you about this right off the bat? You're going to be the soulmate of a married man? What does that even mean? This is bullshit."

    You had a hard time disagreeing with her there. It was, in fact, bullshit that Namjoon's team had kept his relationship status a secret. Would it have changed your decision? Probably not. This had been about saving Namjoon's life, not some bizarre attempt at matchmaking. But having a third person to consider, and so intimately, as part of the equation for the rest of your earthly life felt like something you should have been made more immediately aware of. Navigating your boundaries with your soulmate had already been complex enough without introducing the prospect of being a fixture in his married life. When Namjoon had breached the prospect of meeting her, he had been taken aback at your surprise - he, like you, had assumed that Hybe's representation had disclosed everything of significance.

    "So it's a good thing I came here as a lifeline, not a mail-order bride," you reminded your sister, "And that seems to be working, by the way. His vitals are already stable. They stabilized overnight, in fact. And his white blood cell count was way up this morning, which is good because I guess he was experiencing immunosuppression from the chemo."

    "Oh, nice," Diana murmured.

You had to remind yourself that she was young and excitable, and not to be annoyed at the disappointment that he crept into her tone. However, never one to be down for long, her voice brought its usual bright mischief through the speaker as she posed her following question.

    "By the way...how was bonding?"

    She had said it with an inescapably salacious undertone, which is why, you told yourself, heat had begun to creep up the base of your neck. You stammered, switching the phone from one ear to the other as you bought yourself time to reassemble your decorum. 

    "Ah...I mean...it was...intense?"

    "Ooooohhhh," Diana trilled, only making you more uncomfortable as the heat spread from your neck to your cheeks, "Intense, huh? Like in a good way?"

     You squirmed uncomfortably where you sat, thoughts of Namjoon's pleasure-stricken face and the strength of his hand and how his skin felt against your own hitting your hippocampus like a flash flood.

    "Y/n?"

    "It was fine, okay? And it worked - so that's what's important."

    "....Okaaay..." Diana drawled skeptically.

You scrambled for another talking point.

    "That kid visited. The one who came to the States - Jungkook. And another one of the members too - Jim...Jimin? I'm still trying to get their names straight. Some of them don't go by their actual names on stage - Namjoon is RM...but you knew that. Anyway, I digress. Both the boys were really sweet. Seems like they're all very close. I'm supposed to meet the rest of the members at some point next week at dinner. They wanted to have a sort of 'last supper' for us since we're probably going to start rejecting food soon."

    "That's cool, you get to meet the whole team! Oh my gosh, you're just going to casually have dinner with BTS...this is still so unreal!"

    "Yep," you affirmed, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

Namjoon had hit you with a couple of whoppers last night, but this was one you were actually looking forward to. You told Diana all about your first two days in Seoul - about the impressive hospital and its kind staff. About meeting Namjoon, and his condition. About how everything was still so fresh and new. About how so many things were still unsettled, so many questions unanswered.

    "So are you nervous?"

    "About what?"

    "Meeting his girlfriend."

    You had been so wrapped up in filling Diana in on it all that you had actually forgotten about the impending lunch date. As you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time, your stomach lurched. 

    "Shit, I better get going. It's almost eleven-thirty." You sprang up and started quickly back toward the building.

    "That wasn't an answer," Diana scoffed, "But, hey, sis?"

    "Yeah?" You pressed the "up" button on the elevator.

    "Don't be."

    You smiled.

    "Love you, Di."

    "Love you too. And so does anyone worth a damn."

    After deciding that you smelled like outside, you showered quickly then slipped into caramel-colored corduroys and an off-white tee. You rummaged around the small suitcase Matt had brought from the hotel for you in search of a sweater. After several exasperating minutes of unsuccessful digging, you heaved the bag of laundered clothes that had been returned to you by the hospital staff this morning, having gone through much of the what the Hybe staff had initially pilfered from your luggage in the last two days.

You grumbled in relief as you pulled out your dark green cardigan and slipped it over your shoulders, wondering what the hell the hospital laundry services had done to stretch it out so badly. But, you didn't have time to fuss - so you bunched up the sleeves and headed to the opposite end of the hospital's outdoor grounds where you suspected Namjoon and his guest were already waiting. 

    The hospital grounds were extensive and beautiful, sporting a garden that extended from the western wing, and a lawn punctuated by traditional pavilions to the east. He had pointed out the one he had reserved to you last night - tucked away in the shade of the large gingko trees flanking the little man-made stream that delineated the border of the grounds.

As you made your way toward the shady spot you chided yourself for being so uneasy - everyone surrounding your soulmate had been as lovely and warm and welcoming as he had been, and the woman he loved would likely be no exception. After Namjoon had disclosed that she was a musician like he was, you had done a bit of online recon before going to bed that night.

Her given name was Kim Hyung-seo, but her stage name, by which she was well-known, was Bibi. She was four years Namjoon's junior, but seemed nearly as ambitious. From what you could tell, she seemed to share a similar drive for artistry and honesty in her musical process as her future husband, and though her tendency for loose-canon candidness had landed her in hot water more than once, her earnest sincerity had engendered her to the hearts of her peers and fans alike. In an industry that seemed to often censor and restrict women, Hyung-seo didn't seem to give much credence to the rules. You liked that. You were actually kind of excited to get to know her a bit and ask her about her art - you had always been a woman's woman, and being in the company of strong feminine energy was something you found deeply empowering and grounding. You anticipated that your soulmate's girlfriend was someone you could respect, and you allowed yourself to venture to hope that feeling would be mutual.

    You trotted up the steps of the pavilion and took in its contents. The center had been fitted with a low, round table bearing a colorful and mouthwatering spread of gogi, bibim guksu, gimbap, and banchan. Cushions had been placed on the floor for seating, but none bore the lunch companions you had been anxious not to keep waiting. You were about to take your place at the table when a figure moving near the creek caught your eye.

You moved to the far side of the structure, to see your soulmate deeply engaged in conversation...with a duck.

He was standing near the edge of the water, his tall figure clad in silky modern navy blue hanbok. The top was untied and hung loosely over a white tee - the only contrast to the deep muted tone apart from his cognac loafers. He wore a dark beanie pulled low on his head, which was bowed in affectionate greeting to a juvenile Gadwall who had paddled away from his family to sample the little bits of starchy fluff that the stranger had sprinkled onto the water.

You pressed your palms against the painted wood, taking him in with a smile as he crouched down, extending a bit of bread between his fingers slowly toward the curious little water foul.

This man, you were learning - this erstwhile underground rapper, this leader of men, this brilliant intellectual and genius artist - this great, powerful, impressive man could be called out of his poise in an instant by the sweet and tiny things of the world.

You watched as he waited patiently, the little duck swimming in to-and-fro circuits and drawing closer and closer to Namjoon with each pass, until finally it was close enough to snatch its prize from him and scuttle off quickly to rejoin its mother and siblings. Namjoon chuckled, smiling fondly as he watched the duck make his way back down the creek.

This man, you thought to yourself, could not possibly be real.

    "So you're a Kpop idol and a Disney princess, huh?" you called, causing Namjoon to startle and rock back on his heels, landing on his posterior in the damp grass.

    You slapped a hand over your mouth to repress the laughter that threatened to bubble up at the site of his large well-dressed figure tipped back haphazardly on the creekside. He huffed a sheepish laugh as he stood, swiping at the back of his pants.

    "Give a person a little warning?" he chided lightly, approaching you where you leaned on the railing.

    "Sorry," you chuckled, "I didn't want to scare your little friend."

    "So you settled for scaring your soulmate? I see how it is." 

    You smiled and ducked your head.

    "Sorry," you murmured, flicking your gaze back to his.

He looked up at you, fixing you with his warm brown eyes and bringing his hands to grip the railing on either side of yours. Suddenly, you felt shy. You shook yourself.

    "Hey, hang out with the ducks and you'll end up with a wet tail," you teased.

Namjoon's eyebrows drew together in mock disgust.

    "Yikes, you're almost as bad as Seokjin hyung," he remarked disparagingly.

    You shrugged, smirking.

    "I have no idea what that means, but whoever Seokjin is, he must have a superior sense of humor."

Namjoon was opening his mouth to respond, but was cut short, as the tiny motion of your shoulders had slid one of your hands just a centimeter down the railing and barely flush with his own. The slight contact was enough to send sudden little tingles of comfort shooting up your arm and across your chest. In a millisecond you felt yourself relax where you hadn't realized you were tense. You could have imagined it, but you thought you felt Namjoon press his hand just a fraction more into yours as he swallowed and heaved a deep sigh.

You reminded yourself for the hundredth time since you arrived that this was biological. Clinical. The means to an end. Damn, he felt good though.

You found yourself snatching your hands away to push up your cardigan sleeves and then stuff them into your pants pockets where they would stop confusing you. You distracted yourself from Namjoon's subtle look of disappointment with an apology.

    "Sorry about your pants," you rocked back on your heels as you looked out over the little ribbon of water rippling over its stony bed behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and brushed himself off again before waving a hand in dismissal. Your eyes focused back on the blue silk.

"I didn't realize this was a fancy lunch. I feel under-dressed."

    "You look nice," Namjoon rebutted, as he glanced over your attire. Then his brow pinched as his eyes halted on your torso, flitting over your arms and shoulders. "But isn't that -"

    "Joon?"

A voice behind you caused you to turn.

Standing at the top of the steps was the woman it belonged to. She was tall and beautifully slender - her svelte figure draped in a slinky chrome dress with a triangular cutout that displayed the smooth skin of her upper abdomen. Her glossy raven tresses were styled away from her face in a high ponytail, drawing sharp attention to her sultry features. Her smoky eyes glanced over your form with a lazy intensity, lids half-raised over dark irises, and her pouted lips pursed in appraisal. You wondered just exactly how many ridiculously beautiful people traveled in Namjoon's circle.

She stepped toward you, her chunky pink heels marking her confident strides on the floorboards, before bowing and extending a small hand with sharp white acrylics and icy sliver rings.

    "I'm the girlfriend!" she hummed, her deep, velvety voice matching her features.

    You bowed in return before shaking her hand politely.

    "So nice to meet you," you smiled, "I'm -

    "The soulmate," she cut you off, glancing over your shoulder at Namjoon, who still stood outside the pavilion, "of that weirdo." '

Namjoon circled around to the entrance of the pavilion before joining you with a wry smile. He introduced the two of you formally, before being the first to take a seat at the table. Hyung-seo joined him, shimmying her cushion closer to Namjoon's as she used a pair of chopsticks to load her plate with selections from the spread. 

    "Oh my god, I'm STARVING," she gushed, staring at Namjoon impatiently as he took a bit of kimchi fried rice and a few slices of samgyeobsal.

    "My stomach feels like it could take some real food for the first time in a while," he said with eager enthusiasm, glancing up at you with a smile of gratitude. 

    Hyung-seo tapped her chopsticks against her plate as she watched you survey the dishes before you. You took some kimchi fried rice and carefully ladled out a small bowl of doenjang-jjigae. You pulled your hands into your lap and watched the steam rise from the fragrant broth.

    "Ah, unnie..." Hyung-seo began before Namjoon shushed her and lightly tapped her knee.

You glanced between them in confusion. Namjoon merely smiled at you, and you smiled back, glancing down from his warm gaze to your plate.

    "Oh for the love of god, would you take a bite?"

    You looked up rather startled at Hyung-seo, who was leaned forward, her desperate eyes tracking your movements, and the chopsticks clutched in her right hand hovering over a plump, sweating mandu.

You blinked, fumbling for your chopsticks as your soulmate admonished the woman next to him. You took a heap of fried rice onto your chopsticks and brought it to your lips, looking questioningly between the two across from you. Hyung-seo groaned in impatience, her head lolling back.   

    "In Korea, the eldest eats first," Namjoon offered in soft explanation, his features trained in apology.

    As realization washed over you, you all but shoved the rice into your mouth, hoping to swallow your embarrassment with it, followed quickly by Hyung-seo, who popped two mandu into her mouth consecutively. Her eyes rolled back as she let out a groan of appreciation. You watched Namjoon carefully savor a piece of samgyeobsal. He smiled a dimpled smile. You smiled to yourself as you tucked into your fried rice. Namjoon's fiancée watched you both. Her cheeks were full, but she wasn't smiling.

Your little trio ate in contented silence until your visitor, having satisfied her belly, fixed her eyes on you with a different sort of eagerness. The time for questions had come, you realized. You set down your chopsticks, taking a drink of water.

    "I'm sure there is so much we'd like to know about each other," you offered with a smile.

    She pulled her lips into a brief grin, sipping from her own glass as her eyes trailed over you. You cleared your throat.

    "So, I read that y-"

    "How does it feel?" she interrupted, starring at you raptly. You blinked.

    "I'm sorry?"

    "When he touches you." She licked her lips. "I heard it's like cumming. I heard it's better."

Namjoon slid a large hand over her thigh. You saw it squeeze.

    "Jagiya..." he murmured.

    You glanced at him and gave him a reassuring grin which he returned, though not as readily as before. Not the start to the conversation you had hoped for, but she was living up to her brusque reputation. You let yourself laugh a little at the question, and saw Hyung-seo's mouth curl up a bit at the corners, though it didn't reach her eyes.

    "It's nothing like sex, actually," you mused, trying to be as forthcoming as possible without abandoning politeness. "Strange, I guess, because it is all about physical exchange and contact. But...it's more like...nourishment? I don't know...I haven't had long enough to think about it."

You had had quite long enough to know that it was ineffable, but in the most intoxicating, magnificent way - and a hell of a lot better than most of the sex you'd had. This, however, wasn't the time and place for descriptions of the bond that could be ripped from the pages of drugstore romance novels.

    You found yourself turning to Namjoon with a questioning gaze, as if to ask if he had anything to add. He nodded in response, not meeting your eyes.

    "Yeah, it's different," he murmured succinctly.  

    Hyung-seo hummed in assent, chewing on her lip, her gaze still roving over you. You decided to try again.

    "So how did you m-"

    "How do you do it?"

    You stifled a small sigh that threatened to escape your lips.

    "Do what?"

    "Use the bond. Like, do you hold hands, or...or what?"

    You looked to Namjoon who murmured something in Korean that sounded like a warning. This wasn't going as you'd hoped. Her questions were natural ones, but not the first you thought you'd be asked, and not so pointedly. In fact, they were ones she should probably have put to her partner. Had they not spoken since you arrived?

    "The bond works with any physical contact. When I first got here, I had so many questions myself. The hospital personnel were very informative while helping us navigate our questions. I still know very little, but as someone whose partner is bonded, I'm sure they would have someone who could better answer these types of questions than I can," you offered.

It was the opposite of forthcoming, but you were absolutely not prepared to launch into a conversation about you and her fiancé spooning in your undergarments. The trajectory of the exchange had to go elsewhere, so you resolved to take the wheel.

    "Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Maybe I could tell you a little about myself. My job in the states wasn't glamorous, but I loved it. I was -"

    "A social worker, I know," she murmured with a sigh, and Namjoon's head snapped toward her.     

You could feel your confusion pulling into a frown. In your beat of silence, the woman in front of you gave into another impulse as she placidly launched into an answer of your unasked question.

    "You're a social worker from the West coast, oldest of three kids. Your father died when you were ten. You graduated summa cum laude, and chose a career in women's services. You support your mother's living - you have been, long-term. Your brother is an engineer and your sister is in nursing school. You've never committed any crimes, but you were arrested once in college at some political protest about immigrant rights. Your blood type is O positive. You don't seem very good with your money, but you've never asked for financial assistance. You've never been married." 

    Silence.

    Your ears were ringing.

    You blinked as you tried to focus, grappling for something on which to stabilize your composure. This isn't how this was supposed to go. You felt your control slipping as the words pierced you in echoes that knocked you back down each time you reached out to steady your mind. 

    "Your father died when you were young..."

    "...You support your mother's living..."

    "...You don't seem very good with your money"

    Your mind whirred as the silence closed in, and for a moment you were suspended.

        Diana and Henry weren't pillars, you thought - they were tiny little babies as your mother clutched them on either side of her prone, shaking form as shovels of dirt were shifted back into the gaping hole that held a pine box covered in flowers. You looked down at the flag in your hands, and then up at the white flowers, still fresh and blooming, being caked and sodden with damp soil. You felt something rising up in your chest - something that never reached the surface. You turned from the wound in the earth as Dianna reached out and tugged at your arm. The babies looked afraid. You couldn't see your mother's face from where it was buried in her skirts. You tucked the flag reverently under your arm and took the little hands.

    Somewhere outside the amniotic sack of your mind, you saw Namjoon's figure stand. You heard his garbled voice speak to the woman beside him. He was angry, his voice pitched low. Hers in response was sharp and high.

    You took a deep breath and exhaled. Your chest was beginning to labor and your inhaler was on the fifth floor of a building on the other side of the property.

You willed yourself back into this world you had chosen. This place which, like the others you had inhabited, would discover its new tenant didn't take long to adapt. She was built to withstand.

    "Namjoon," you called softly, as you looked up at your soulmate. His eyes snapped to yours, his face showing subtle but unmistakable signs of distress - eyes reflecting remorsefully and jaw flexing.

You smiled at him gently, reassuringly.

    "It's alright," you insisted, your eyes not leaving his.

You saw his shoulders sag, and his head bow. His hand came up to scrub over his face. You realized then that she was looking at you. Hyung-seo's expression was apprehensive, her eyes scouring your face.

    "This must be an extremely difficult thing for you, whatever the reason," you offered earnestly.

    She regarded you in silence, her eyes flickering like the flame of a candle.

    "I would say, 'I understand', but I don't. I have no idea how hard it must be to fall in love with someone only to watch them suffer at the hands of disease, and to suffer so greatly and to come so close to losing them that you turn to finding a person who can save them, and who - if they are saved by - they will need and desire for the rest of their natural life. A person who isn't you." 

    Her eyes quivered as they held you in their gaze.

    "I know I'm supposed to be a saving grace," you continued, having gained your ground, "But I know I could also look a lot like a threat. Trust me when I say that you can be open and honest with me about how you feel. This is a difficult situation where we're going to feel burdened by things we shouldn't. Namjoon and I discussed this."

    You smiled again at your soulmate, who was watching you with relief and something else in his features. You wanted to call it admiration, but you had only known him for two whole days.

    "Whatever fears you're carrying that make you feel like a burden in this moment, could I ask you to set them aside? For a chance to get to know me in the real way that you deserve? This isn't a trap. Or a cage. We've all chosen to be here."

    You regarded Hyung-seo in the silence that followed. Her eyes had fallen from your face - they glanced over toward where Namjoon stood, barely raising toward his figure, when she suddenly dropped her face into her hands and began shaking with sobs.

    You let out a sigh of relief too soft to be heard by the others.

    "Fuck...." Hyung-seo choked out against her palms, "I'm such a piece of shit..."

    Namjoon moved to place a hand over her back and assure her she wasn't. You wondered what she felt when he touched her. Your heart ached with pity for her. Namjoon drew her into his chest and held her as she cried her makeup off. He stroked her hair as her regarded her with weary, worried eyes. You couldn't help but feel that you were encroaching on a private moment...expect that you were a part of this as much as they were. Was there a lifetime of this feeling to be endured? You sighed again.

    "I'm gonna give you guys a minute," you whispered as you clambered to your feet.

    Namjoon nodded silently over the woman in his arms. 

    You watched scattered leaves from the boughs overhanging the far side of the stream spin as the were swept away. Your eyes tracked one in particular, twirling as it sailed around a protruding rock and under an arching root, only to be stopped as it was doubled at the middle by a thin, swaying reed. You found your feet moving to where the water rushed around it as it billowed helplessly on both sides of its obstruction like a flag of surrender. You slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants. You waded into the cool, clear water and, reaching out, tugged the little leaf free. You watched as it sailed on, disappearing around a bend in the waterway. You glanced back up at the pavilion. If you could have been sure it was the right move, you would have left altogether, but you wouldn't want your sudden departure to be taken the wrong way.

    You sighed. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket as you waded back out of the stream. Dead. You were bad about keeping it charged, and your conversation with Diana had drained its aged battery. You wished you had a book. Glancing about, your eyes caught a fairly large patch of clover flowers a few yards down the bank, and crossing the soft grass, you sank down in its center.

You smiled weakly to yourself as you plucked one of the little white buds near the base of its stem. You and your siblings would spend hours at the park under the shade turning sprawling patches of the puffy blooms into garlands, crowns, bracelets, and rings. You picked another flower and tied its supple stem into a knot just under the other flower's head. 

    By the time Namjoon came to join you, sinking down across from you in little clover patch you had fashioned yourself a crown and a necklace, and were working on a garland to send to Diana. You set down your handiwork to look up at him. He was regarding you with soft, somber eyes and a little smile that looked like one he didn't have the energy for but couldn't help besides. He picked a flower and twirled it between his fingers.

    "I'm so sorry," he murmured, "If I would have thought that things would go that way, I wouldn't have insisted on her meeting you before she left. She's going on tour and I thought...well, I thought if she just met you her anxieties would be eased."

    You nodded thoughtfully.

    "Thank you for your patience and kindness. She was out of line saying those things to you like that...you were...that was everything she needed to hear, I think."

    You cast your eyes down as you tied off another knot in the garland.

    "Is she okay?" you asked quietly.

    Namjoon sighed.

    "She's...embarrassed. Ashamed of herself. She wasn't in any condition to finish that conversation, so I suggested she go home."

    "Understandable," you assented, nodding again.

    Silence hung between you for a moment before you raised your eyes to his again.

    "Namjoon...there are some things I think we should discuss."

    He nodded earnestly, his eyes falling, brow creasing and tongue pressing into his cheek.

    "I know we haven't had much time," you continued, "And we have literally the rest of our lives...but, I think we should be on the same page about what we've been told about each other. I think it will make this whole process easier? I don't know. There are some things you assume you'll have to tell someone at a certain point in knowing them - some things that are...deeply personal..."

    "Aren't things between us already that way? Deeply personal?"

    You looked up and those half-lidded brown eyes were looking right at you in a way you weren't prepared for, in a way that flooded your veins. Soulmate. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to feel him and what he brought to you. You wanted him to feel it too. But you didn't know him, and he didn't know you, and he needed healing, which is why you were here. He loved someone who loved him whose lives you were disrupting. This feeling was basal, you knew - came with the territory...but you were going to need some strong boundaries if this was going to function. You were going to need honesty, for a start.

   "They are," you relented slowly, "But I have questions that I need answers to. Your trust in me is clear, and I appreciate that...but...I need time to get my footing here."

    Namjoon nodded in assent.

    "I get that. So, what do you want to know, specifically? I'll answer any question you have."

    You nodded gratefully.

    "Thank you. Do you think I could take a little time to think about what I want to ask? I'm kind of still processing everything that just happened."

    "Of course," he was quick to answer, "Whenever you want to talk, just let me know. Did I say how sorry I am?" he asked smiling weakly as he looked up from where he struggled to knot the stem of one flower around another, suddenly looking down again when its stem snapped between his fingers.

    You huffed out a little laugh.

    "Yes, you did," you did, you answered, offering him a rueful grin.

    He picked another flower only to realize he had cut its stem too short for his purposes. He tossed the little blossoms back into the grass.

    "Can you make me one?" he asked pathetically, pouting at the garland in your hands.

    You chuckled as you tied off the one in your lap and leaned forward to slip it over his head. He adjusted it around his neck, looking down at it with a pleased expression.

    "You know...if you can believe it, we actually got lucky in there," he smirked, his forehead creasing as he raised his brow.

    You gave him a look of confusion. His eyes trailed over your torso again before flitting back up to yours.

    "She didn't notice that you're wearing my sweater."

    You froze. Then you blinked down at the giant green cardigan that had, in fact, slipped down off of one shoulder. Then you gaped at him.

    He snickered.

    You scrambled to yank the sweater over your head, even as he laughed and protested, you blustered apology after expletive after apology.

    "Shit, it was in my laundry bag!" You whined in explanation as you shook it out and began to fold it in your lap.

    "Stop, just keep it on," Namjoon insisted, still clearly amused at your state of panic.

    "I have one just like this. Like, identical but obviously smaller. I just assumed it had stretched out in the wash..." You extended the sweater toward him.

    He shook his head.

    "Just give it back later, you'll be cold." He looked up at your exasperated expression and started laughing again.

    "Stooop..." you whined in embarrassment, and when he only laughed harder, you tossed the sweater in his face. As he balled it up with a smile where it fell down into his lap, his smart watch trilled. He glanced down at it.

    "I've got labs scheduled now," he sighed.

    "Hopefully they'll bring more good news," you offered, at which he nodded. "I seem to be getting the job done, if I do say so myself," you teased, leaning back on your hands and offering him a smug look.

He nodded, tongue in his cheek, then pushed to stand - with effort, you noticed - and extended a hand down to you. You didn't realize what the little smile on his mouth was for until you accepted his hand with your own, by habit, and were nearly knocked back off your feet as the bond surged through you like a wave of mind-numbing euphoria that left you unable to process information outside of what was sent coursing through your every cell from where he touched you.

    You blinked up at him as you got your wits about you, and he was looking down at you through little slits in his barely-open eyes, head tilted back and mouth hanging open - little smirk still tugging at its corner. You pursed your lips, trying not to grin back.

    "You did that on purpose," you chided, trying and failing to train your features in a scowl.

    His smirk deepened.

    "What? I was just being courteous..."

    You rolled your eyes.

    "I'm feeling a little weak, I think it would be best if you helped me back to the room," he muttered slyly, turning to head back toward the building.

The smile that was dimpling his cheek and creasing the corners of his eyes did something to your stomach that had you yanking your hand out of his grasp.

    "Yeah, right," you huffed, forging a few steps ahead of him, "You're putting a lot by your poorly reputed coordination to think you could walk while I was touching you." 

    He let out a laugh behind you. It was loud and bright and had you biting back a smile to match it.

    "What happened to getting the job done, sweater thief?" he called after you teasingly.

    Shit. Yeah. Boundaries. You were going to need them.

_________________________________________________

Well, they met! Next part to follow soon.

Thank you for sticking with me here!

Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25 @felicityroth @softforyoongles @berlianv @honneypies @deadrose287 @n0pesir

#kim namjoon #knj #bts #kim namjoon fanart #knj fic #namjoon fic #bts fics #namjoon soulmate #soulmate au #bts soulmate au #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts reader insert #reader insert #eventual relationship #eventual smut #eventual romance #strangers to lovers #idol au #slow burn #bts imagines #rm fanfic #rm imagine #namjoon imagine #kim namjoon imagine

[winterspiel]

ﾟ｡ What type of comfort does your soulmate get from you? ⋆｡⊹

I was about to call it a day (with my sleep deprived and messed up body clock), but I'm suddenly called upon to make this PAC. This is actually my first time doing a PAC reading, but I have been wanting to try this for the longest!

❅ ੈ ⋆｡⊹ ⋅ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

pls do take note, choose a pile carefully! you may be drawn to more than one pile, so one may be your energy, and the other may be your future partner/lover/soulmate. do pick what mostly draws you in!

these messages and the context of my readings are from intuition and practice. this is a general reading as well, so do take what only resonates. sending love ♡

feel free to give feedback as it’s very much appreciated!

❅ Yule 

do not repost © winterspiel (2022)

༘⋆‧˚ pile 1 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

"You're my rest after a long day." Those words come to mind as your person looks at you with a release of a long breath of tiredness. You seem to be their sense of relief; your presence alone can ease their worries. Even after a long exhausting day, you can wash away their raging thoughts with your calming, gentle eyes. 

“I can trust my guts and intuition with you.” They feel calm around you. Even if it's not something to be proud of, or be celebrated over drinks, they can tell you those thoughts in their mind with ease. Their words can be sharp and not quite discerning. It happens. They are tired and frustrated. Sense of judgment gets clouded up by exhaustion. But they are with you, so it’s fine. You are understanding. They can easily open up even with their innermost thoughts.

“Even if it's something negative that's letting me down, or something unfair and a disproportional situation that's making me sad, you’re there to lend an open ear.”

They might have been through rough things or unfair stuff in their life, and you seem to have been there to comfort them on that aspect. You seem to be very close or have an intimate bond with this soulmate. They might have been your best friend (they’re the best type if ever you’d also go the romantic route) or you’re the type to go through “the best friends to lovers trope”. I am reading that type of energy on this pile.

“I know you listen and won't bat an eye.” There is no judgment as to why they are an open book to you. If it's time to be serious, they’re the type to be quiet and you both master this energy together. You and your soulmate have a good synergy.

Even if life is full of uncertainty, at least they can forget for a while and focus instead on your time together. Nothing else matters as they enjoy their time spent with you. Whenever you're around, they’re at peace.

“In your presence, I am open. I am whole.”

⟡

cards: The High Priestess, 3 of Cups Rx, The Moon, Justice Rx

༘⊹

key words: taurus or virgo vibes, dinnertime, too tired to have dinner, worn-out socks, that feeling of exhaustion seeping out or letting steam out of your body when you take off your shoes/clothes, couch, movie that you don’t need to bring much attention onto, chill movie, television noise as background, leaning onto shoulder.

⋆‧˚ pile 2 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

“I feel hopeless, I'm probably not pretty or set to the standards…” Coming off sad here from the beginning, your soulmate may be feeling inadequate. Based on the standards or what’s needed for society. They don’t feel enough or maybe feel lacking. Everything seemed so unfair and society's views and they are tired as hell of this type of self-doubt. Though with you, Pile 2, you are not the type to care about those things. You don't seem to care about the superficial. You’re who's likely to have that “F-ck it!” energy, which they admire a lot from you. You always seem to radiate that energy that you walk at your own pace, and you’re rocking the hell out of it. I think the way of passion seeps through how I write this, holy– it is obvious how very fire energy you are Pile 2 (If I’m wrong then, sorry xD). I also sense Venusian energy leaning for you.

With their way of openness, there is plain honesty as you also provide no sugarcoating towards your partner. There’s no judgment with you towards them at all. You may even have a soft spot for this person. You bring out their courage and straightforwardness. They know everything you say makes sense and has meaning; it brings value to theirs as you are critical in your views. You are the type of person they can rely on especially on these things. You like pretty things and you know that you deserve the best, and only the best. So they better believe you! That they're great, that they are the most amazing-est person in the world! 

You pamper yourself and know self-care the most. It may be also because you have been often treated poorly in the past, or lack that good treatment. As to why you’re bringing that into your life more. It may also appear to the point that it can be seen as “vain” to others. Though you have pure intentions, you don’t leave out focus on the people you value. You are giving that same energy to your partner and you put them your priority. That makes them depend on you in ways as well, as you make them realize a different perspective through your personal input. Or this way, they relate to you so much that, “oh, it's not just me. I was making sense, I'm not being sensitive!”

⟡

cards: The Star Rx, Justice Rx, 5 of Swords, The World

༘⊹

key words: for some reason the feature of cat-eye, something glossy came in mind, puffy dresses, soft peachy filter (the type that has an airy blush-y effect), silk/velvet fabric, scones/pastries, safety pin, sunlit room, fire energy, venusian energy; sagittarius, capricorn, at most… alluring

༘⋆‧˚ pile 3 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

“Let’s take a breather.” Whenever unreasonable matters occur, you are the first one that comes to mind and who they run to to talk about these things. These can also come as an unwanted situation. As for some things, it can be a hassle and quite petty for them to talk about. It can also result in a lost opportunity. But it seems natural to just be their raw and true self around you. Y'kno?– Of course, you’ll know, as they are the type who show how much they value you, even bringing on efforts in the littlest ways. It is also their way to make up on things, or simply just to show their love for you. They exude a ball of sunshine vibes.

Going back, as to why it can be quite… concerning seeing them solemn and how noticeable their eyes sink with exhaustion. Though they just stay quiet and still put their considerate demeanor towards you. During these moments you may feel them lean towards you a bit, their eyes soft as they look up at you. “Hmmm?” You can feel their weight by your shoulder– they are the type to be clingy, this isn’t anything new about how they’re acting. But there is just something when they’re asking for comfort from you. Like your presence is enough to ease them, but there’s just something else. This can be their way to initiate talking about something that makes them sulk, which can be traced on their face. And when you do talk it out. Your insight may not be what they wanted, but what they didn’t know they needed to hear.

You let them in your perspective or share other possibilities. Your words can introduce them to new emotions. Your stance on the situation will make them open their eyes in ways that they do not accept it at hand– not something they first thought of or view that way. But it makes total sense. You exude kindness with balance on discernment. With you, emotions seem to flow out smoothly like water, as to why maybe they feel oh so comfortable with you. You're the type of person that can make them reevaluate things and put their place into a new perspective. 

⟡

cards: The Justice Rx, Ace of Pentacles Rx, Ace of Cups, 2 of Pentacles

༘⊹

key words: dewy, meadow, fresh air, ducks, cardigan, citrus, a stroll in the park, nature, caramel, bland jokes, laughter, water, arm on waist, flowers; preferably carnations. anything soft yellow, golden retriever, tall, taurus/airy energy

༘⋆‧˚ pile 4 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

“I want you close to me.” As if your proximity isn’t hairs thin already, this is quite of the more… wilder type of pile. Also unexpected at most as I originally planned 3, but universe and spirit knocked me down and whispered loudly, if I may add: “don’t forget the raw energy!” This is more of a mature pile but I am keeping it appropriate, no worries!

Starting strong here as they let loose with you, they may not be their most composed self as they are extra vulnerable when a situation calls for it. Sensual was the word. And showing it in rough ways that they know can be direct to show their passion. Your person is quite well-put together and often sharp and composed. But tiredness and frustration can also do lots for a person. They are tired out or when they are erratic in thoughts, it’s the time that they need comfort the most. And your presence can calm them down (for the most part). They are the type to be self-aware though, so I can see that they are not at all violent. Aggressive? Indubitably, but in proper ways (If you know what I mean wink). This can also mean in terms of their words, they are quite sharp and precise in what they know. This is also what they are feeling, what they want and need. But mostly this pile involves the body. I’ll leave you to it!

This isn't anything new really, this is a familiar routine. You can be both night owls. Maybe coffee is a staple in your household (if you’re living in together). If not, it’s usually what happens when you're both exhausted and yet need to stay up. So you and your partner accompany each other and oftentimes these lead to deep or late-night talks.

The way of expression on asking for comfort (and neediness, ooft) can be, for the lack of a better word, nasty, where it will be filled with desires; anything stimulating— just to get pleasure out of it. This could be in topics, or with your same interest. Staying out to watch something, or to be there while the other person finishes what they need to work on for the hell of it. 

After the deed is done (as supposed on the overall energy of this pile)... Even if it doesn’t fulfill or satiate the feeling (mostly to their side)... Even if it doesn't contribute to “doneness” on the supposed matter at hand on why your person asked for comfort in the first place… in some ways, it is still relief from stress or anything that's been weighing them down. Again with self-awareness, mostly they’re the let bygones be bygones. But you make them soft in a way that venting out isn’t that bad after all. In other ways, being with you is a relief enough for them.

⟡

cards: King of Swords Rx, The Fool Rx, The Devil, 9 of Cups Rx

༘⊹

key words: breathy voice, detail-oriented, chaste kiss, screen light, sighs, yawns, light finger tapping, cuddles, whispers, computer screen, keyboard typing, cold sheets, polished fingernails, books, dark/dim, coffee, cloudless sky, midnight, possible rain, unfinished snacks, lo-fi music, head pats, scorpio, virgo, water energy

⛧ about me | masterlist | #winterspiel ⚝

#pick a card #pick a pile #pac #fs #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot community #winterspiel

[radio-to-trenchcoat-demons]

First few pages of Ghost Stories (by me) is Out!!! Enjoy!!!

!heads-up! i put any other language in red for it to be easier to read, the story basically self explains the sentence and translates it for you so need to worry about language!!!

Languages Contained: Spanish, Portuguese. (more but we'll have to see how the story progresses)

GHOST STORIES

                                               By  Unt1t3d

                    Position for Hire: “J”

I don't like offices. I don’t know if it's because they mean that something uncomfortable is being discussed or that I didn’t organize anything myself, knowing that contents are probably where they don’t belong. This tossed here, That cast aside there. But this office I hated the most. Not only was I uncomfortable, I was being pestered about “How I felt” and, “What I should do to get on a healthier path in life”. I’ve never liked the ‘this is a safe space’ shit they rant. 

I didn’t need to get healthier mentally, I needed to get better physically. I needed money. “Justice, are you alright?” The Therapist was nagging me, I noticed. “Huh? Oh, Yeah. I agree.” I spaced off a lot so I just pretended I knew what anyone was saying in a conversation. “ I was just saying that you should get your work papers in order. I think a job might be just what you need to get yourself in the right headspace.” She said like she was talking to a toddler, writing notes on her notepad. Wow, I’m touched, she’s concerned. Aren't they all? I’ve had enough of the sympathetic 'Are you alright?’s Honestly, a ‘you're a crazy mother fucker’ once in a while is perfectly fine to balance out the chaos.

“So is your medication working? Do you still see…them?” She's talking about the shadowy friends of mine! Yeah, I still fucking see them even though you have me on enough meds to call me a drugaddict! In fact, I saw one on Tuesday, SUSAN. I’ve always been able to see them, even when I was younger, and they blamed it on a very rare, very young case of dementia. But these…things, aren't just figments of my imagination. They have minds of their own, taunting me all the time. It's the reason he’s gone. 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen them in a while.” I say with a smile, so that she won’t prescribe me another pill. “Don’t we end in a few?” I say to hurry her along. She taps her skull, as if she’s just now remembering I have a life. “Oh, you’re right! Then we’ll pick this up next week.” Ew, I didn’t want to pick this up again next week. “Um, I’m going to get my papers organized, remember? I’m getting that job. So, if I just notify you, I don’t think meetings will be necessary as of right now.” I say impatiently with a weak smile, tapping my foot at godspeed. Man, she’s slow on the update. Maybe if She's smart enough she’ll realize what I’m trying to say. 

She gathers her things, clearly not in her right headspace as she throws it all recklessly in a tote bag. My OCD impulses twitch. “Oh, wow. Yeah, that is right! You have a way better memory than me!” she said over-enthusiastically. No wonder she was alway re-scheduling. “I suppose that’s alright, but if you're ever stressed, or need someone to talk to, call my number.” She said with a deeply concerned look. To be truthful, I lost her Number, but that’s just between you and me. “Yep. In fact, I’ll have you on speed-dial, just in case.” I tell her, my enthusiasm weak and my social battery draining fast. “Okay! You have a good rest of your day then!” She says with a cheery smile. Right, like hell I will.

  Yup. Sure will. Time to go home to Mamá and step-daddy and scrub the house clean, and cower away from David’s leather belt. I hate to be brutally honest like I always am, but they’re half the reason I’m in debt for these damn medical bills. I walk down the long flight of stairs and out of the building. Ugh, finally, I’m free.

                                                -X-

I hung my keys and walked into the kitchen and shouted, “I’M HOME!”.  No response, of course. I opened the door to my room and took a deep breath. Now I’m home. I closed the door because, privacy ya’ know? I hung my messenger bag on a decorative rung I had 3-d printed in sophomore year of Computer Design. I glanced at my neat wall of vinyl records with bands like “Nirvana” and “Los Campesinos”, right next to the picture of me smiling with my father. On my desk was a stack of books, things I was borrowing but now belong to me, a cup of pencils, and my PC setup I made myself, stickers plastering the frame.

I flopped on my bed, tired as hell. I pulled out my phone and selected a playlist, closing my eyes and drifting in and out of sleep. I dream of the shadows and VHS tapes changing and a loud static in my head. Everything is so unilluminated, and I’m scared, frightened out of my wit at whatever could come out of the wispy darkness. “Jay '' someone says. I look in the darkness, trying to detect where the voice is ringing from. “Jay” I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jolt awake and rub my eyes. When my vision focuses, my mom is standing in the middle of my room, cigarette in hand. “You were screamin’ again. Did you take your damn pills?” No, I hadn’t. I was supposed to take them even if I took a two minute nap. Or else I screamed like a madman.

“David isn’t coming home tonight.” She said, taking a drag of the cancer creator. “ ‘Work’?” I say, not looking at her. She breathes out. “Yeah, ‘work’. I figured you could use the stove tonight then.” She takes one last look at my room and walks out, her shirt askew across her small curved shoulders. She’s not the same anymore. After my dad died in that plane crash, she’s been doing all the wrong things with all the wrong people. I don’t understand why she would want to be in a relationship with that abusive fuck ‘David’ or whatever anyway. 

But she still does little things like this, letting me know if and when David’s going to be home, and letting me use the stove to make my empanadas and arroz Rojo or ‘foreign food’ as David calls it. He doesn’t let me cook because it’s too ‘spicy’ for him. 

I pull out all my spices and ingredients, ‘Summerland’ by Half Alive still playing in my ears. I’m in the zone, everything how I want it. Cooking the arroz and frying the meat and sauce for empanadas, carefully avoiding the paper cuts on my hands when dicing the jalapeno and cilantro. In the midst of cooking, I decide to make dessert, having a hard time picking either Tres Leches or Concha Bread. I would ask Mamá, but she was half asleep on the tattered La-Z-Boy in the parlor. So I just decide based on what we have the most.  A few hours later, mom wakes up, the smell of authentic Mexican food calling her. “Gracias por la comida hijo.” She says, eyes only half open. “De nada mami.” Spanish is another thing David doesn’t like. He can’t understand ‘taco bell’ as he calls it. “Pronto conseguiré un trabajo.” I’m getting a job, I tell Mamá. “¿un trabajo?” she says with no surprise. “¿Sabes cuál?” Do I know which one?  I was so focused on getting out of my meetings for a bit,that I hadn’t actually thought of what I would do. “Quizás algo en informática. Se paga bien.” I told her about my computer science classes and how the area of work paid well. Well enough to finish paying the debt to the bills I owed. 

“¿Cuándo te convertiste en un hombre tan adulto?”  When did I become such a grown man? She looks at me. “uh, el mes pasado mamá.” I had just turned 18 last month on November 7th. I was already an adult, technically. Mamá just looked at me and shook her head. “Ya sabes a qué me refiero, joven.” She said sassily. I laughed, enjoying our little corner of the universe, where we were safe. I brought out the Concha Bread and Mamá’s eyes lit up. “Mi Favorita! ” I smiled at her happiness, “¡Solo para ti! “. Just for you! “Hijo, ¡me estropeas!” You spoil me, She says with a laugh.

We finished dinner, and I tucked Mamá into bed. I piled up the dishes, planning to do them tomorrow, and pulled out my phone to look at available jobs in my area. I pulled up Yelp and look for an IT job. No such luck. I tried Indeed next, again, nada. The hours passed, websites were searched, and still, no IT or Cyber Security jobs in my area. 

I give up and try to find a decent paying job not too far from home.There are some alright ones and then there's the ones that look a little shady. I filter out my results so I don’t wish myself an early funeral. And then I found it, THE GOLDEN JOB!!! The golden job is this thing me and my computer friends would do when we were job hunting. You search for a job, filter it, and whoever had the best job at the end could dare anyone to do anything (within reason of course). One time, my friend Alex won and he got everybody to buy him something from DQ.

But this job seemed too good to be true. Just down town in the suburbs, away from the city, is a fancy estate house. The owners died a few years ago and this little old lady is looking for someone to clean it up for resale, as she is getting on in her years. The pay is good enough to pay for my bills though. All that's left now is to make the call…

  Question Everything: “Wil”

Do you ever get that feeling that you’re constantly being watched? Like eyes are constantly trained on you? As if existing is a cause for concern. “Hey Wil,can you pass me the arroz?” I snap out of my daze, “Huh? Oh sure, Tio.” The house is hectic today, cousins running around and Aunts and Uncles drinking and talking. Nobody in the family liked to be around me and Tio Hector felt bad about that, so he sat with me at all the family meets.

“Ei, você está bem?” Tio says, I smile dancing on his lips. I play along, “Sim, só pensando... e você?” I’m just thinking, what about you? I say this with the same smile playing on my lips. Tio just laughs, “You silly, I’m always fine! Como foi a terapia hoje?” He asks about therapy. He cares but I don’t need therapy. We’re just wasting money we don’t have. “Ah, o mesmo de sempre. Ela apenas traz à tona as mesmas coisas…” Same old, Same old. The lady doesn’t even have a plan for me to get ‘better’. Tio just smiles and says, “Talvez ela esteja louca!”. He bursts out with laughter, making the house feel a little more homely.

Some more family members enter the kitchen, filing up on more drinks and food. I feel so uncomfortable around them, as they do around me. A hate/hate relationship, I guess. Tio sensed my unease and acted as necessary. “Ignore-os, eles estão aqui apenas para ficar bêbados e conseguir babá de graça.” He said they’re alone at the event to get drunk and get free babysitting. He knew this would make me smile, because not only was it funny, it was true. 

I stand and push in my chair. “Vejo você mais tarde, tio. Tenho que ir para casa. Trabalho ocupado para ser feito.” Tio stands, “Trabalhar? OK, te vejo mais tarde. But don’t stress yourself! Or else you’ll end up like Aunt Maria!” He laughs. We hug and I leave, off to drive to my small apartment.

                                                  -X-

I got in and locked the doors and tossed my keys anywhere, I didn’t care at this point, my stuff was already everywhere. Boxes were still piled up from a month or two ago, from when I left the family house and moved out on my own. I toe my way on my cold floors, slowly inching my way to my room. LED lights are strung up, drawings and sketches hung up from AP Art classes. A picture of me and Tio sits on my nightstand. We were at a fair, eating bad funnel cakes and playing games. He won me the very avocado plushie that rests on my bed right now that day.

My laptop rests on my desk, covered in stickers I had designed myself, still open on my DAW program with a music track in queue. I slam it shut, too tired to even think about any actual work. I collapse to the bed. I don’t fall asleep, but just lay there. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with more scars. I lay horizontally, drinking in the late afternoon sunlight, absorbing all the details of my room. It’s kinda like when you’re waiting for something but can only leave at a certain time, so you wait and actually notice all the little things in your life.

A boom rings from upstairs. Ugh, the neighbors. I finally decided that I had rested long enough and had to do something productive. The therapist said something about getting a job or whatever, so that I could ‘get myself in the right headspace’. I already had a job, but it was one my family didn't approve of, and if I mentioned that to the therapist we would have a WHOLE discussion about ‘how that made me feel’ or, ‘what I could do to change their perspective’.

I didn’t have the time for that, and hell, I needed a buck. So, restlessly, I snatch my laptop and open Yelp and Indeed and other numerous job websites and applications. Hours later, you would think I would discover a decent art job! Even a graphics designer looking for an assistant in the heart of New York! But Nada. I gave up a half hour later, deciding to just filter my results for easy, high paying jobs in a calm area (so that way I wasn’t lost in Time Square).

What comes up is some crack-head craigslist kinda shit but some of the jobs are promising. I filter again to get rid of the cuckoo's and 9-5 jobs, settling for something more temp style. This narrows down my search even more, drastically not giving a fuck about my opinion, and only showing one or two results. Eenie Minie Moe later and I found the thing to shut Susan up about the job. A cleaning job, high pay, pick my own hours, AND! When the estate sells I get 2% of the profit sold. It’s this little old lady, selling the home and land of her dead son and daughter-in-law, just wanting to get it in shape before resale. 

I applied for the application and got it sent. I go to the kitchen to eat some trashy dried ramen in a bowl I haven’t washed in a week, and decide what time my body wants to deal with sleep and pain.

                                            -X-

I woke up late that morning, my knees bloodied. Fuck. I tip-toe to the bathroom and get out my huge first aid kit. I disinfect and clean, avoid infection and patch it all up with a huge band aid. I've learned the art of self-aid with my eyes closed and hands tied by now. Fixed, for now.

I checked my phone, surprised to see a notification from the lady with the estate this early. She says my application checks out and that the latest I can start today is 11:30 am. Well, at least I can choose when I leave. I glance at the clock, gauging how much time I get to blow before leaving to find the property. 10:29…okay. Shower, skip breakfast today, and attempt to clean. Like hell I'm gonna clean. It’s just not in my nature anymore.

Flashforward and I’m running to my car to get there on time because my sense of time is horrible. I showered and barely had time to get my boxers on. So, looking like a lunatic, brandishing my disheveled hair and soggy bandaids barely hanging on by a thread, I booked it to my car.

more to come soon!!

tagging:@thinkingaboutctommy @paldeanbooper (my writer buddy:@wiblursaystuff) @vibestillaxxx @gay-mooshrooms @colleenispunk @wormsinsdirt (another writer buddy:@teagica)

#al was here! #hector estaba aqui! #proceed with caution at my blog #my work!! #al writes... #Hector escribes...

[ryeriy]

I think he knows

warnings: flirtatious activity

join my taglist

a/n: I had this idea when I was half asleep and wrote it in my notes and so this might be bad but it is what is. Also, I'm so close to 100 of you guys and I'm so happy! Thank you for your support!

mentions: @nowandkei @67-angelofthelordme-67 @huggy-hischier4394 @trevorzegrizz

Mat and I have been friends since sophomore year in high school. I guess you could call us best friends but I wouldn't say that. Me and Mathews relationship is confusing. Sometimes I can't tell if he wants to be just friends or more than that. That's just his personality though. He's a flirtatious person...and very charming...and hot. But that doesn't matter. What matters is I just can't read him and you think by know I would be able to see the signs but I haven't been able to. Maybe it's the fact I've been to worried about the signs to even see them.

We've been friends since sophomore year. Little does he know that I've had a crush on him since senior year of high school. The more time I've spent with Mat, the more time I realized I've like him. I've never told Mat I have liked him for years because I am scared it's going to ruin our relationship. We have to good of a relationship and for too long just to ruin it. Besides if he really liked me he probably would've said something anyways.

Tonight me and Mat are going out to the bar with a few close friends to celebrate our accomplishments. Mat's hockey career, Molly's new job, James's just became a dad, and my graduation of medical school. The four of us occasionally go out to dinner or to get drinks and hang out. The four of us aren't really a friend group but we hang out once and while. Me and Mat are closer to each other and Molly and James are the same way. Mathew was coming to pick me up since I didn't feel like driving. I was sitting on my couch watch reruns of friends on my TV waiting for Mathew to be here. "Can he hurry up." I say outlook to myself. Just as I say that I hear a knock at the door. I walk over to the front door and open it to see him standing there. "You look nice tonight." He says. "You don't look to bad yourself."

Before closing my door I grabbed my purse and keys locking the door behind me as I started to walk down the stairs Mathew held my hand. Weird. He never does that. He even opens and closes his car door for me. Usually when I get a ride from him he never does that. "You're acting weird." I say as he pulls out of my driveway and I can see his face have a wide smirk on it letting out a chuckle. "Am I though?" He said. That made me think. All I think is somehow he found out I like him and is acting all weird on me. Oh God! What if that's exactly what happened?!

Sitting in silence as he drove to the bar where we are going to meet Molly and James. The silence is killing me. Breaking the silence "how's life been treating you." Mathew says. "Same old stuff, still single, still alone, still not rich yet. What about the famous Mathew Barzal, how's life been treating you lately? Any new girls?" I ask back started making conversation. We still had another twenty minutes till we arrived. "Nope, but I've got my eye on one." His face still focusing on the road and not facing me at all. I have my face looking at him as he drives. Makes me think who this mystery girl is. "Tell me more about this mystery girl, Mat." He chuckles to himself. "Wouldn't you want to know." He says to me. "Oh you would do the same thing if it was me!" I exclaimed to him.

As he kept driving I kept wondering about this mystery women and why is he keeping her mystery. Usually he has no problem telling me everything but this time it's just nothing. "Well if you must know, my mystery girl is very pretty, smart, kind, caring, and probably the most amazing person I've ever met." His voice was soft. He really cares about this girl and I can tell based on his voice. "This mystery girl sounds wonderful." I say. I really want to feel happy for him but it's so hard when he likes someone else.

Arriving at the bar we got out of the car and he walked next to me as we walked inside searching for Molly and James. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and it was Mathew's I was sort of acting weird but at the same time this just how he acts. When we walked up to Molly and James his grip grew a but tighter. "Hey you two!" Molly said while she came in for a hug for both of us. After she was done with her greetings he put his hand back around me. "So you two?" James asks us. "Oh no, we're just friends and you know that James." He lets go of my waist and I felt lonely. As an ulternitive he holds me hand. I don't think anything about it.

~~

It was time for us to leave so we saus out goodbyes and we walked out to Mathew's car. His hand around my waist again. We get inside his car and get ready to go back to my place. "What was that for?" I ask him. "What was what?" He says. "You where grabbing on to me, didn't you say there was a mystery girl?" He chuckles when I say that. "Oh please, so you're telling me you didn't like me all of these years and really hated how close you were to me tonight?" I was too stunned to speak. Well now I know he knows that I've liked him. "What about mystery girl?" I tried to change the subject on him. "Are you blind? You're mystery girl. I mean I found out you liked me a year ago and didn't think anything of it until I started thinking about you like that and now your mystery girl to me." He says as he keeps driving and his head is focused on the road.

Oh. My. God.

"Well why didn't you tell me?" I say to him. "Well why didn't you tell me either?" He says back to me. "Touche..." I say while my voice grew softer. "You know I don't know what's going to happen with us but we can sort it out later." He tells me. "Yeah.." I say back to him. We sat in silence the rest of the way home. Before I got out of the car I unbuckled my seat belt and turn my head to face Mathew. He looked back at me and our faces were facing each other. Leaning in closer to me I looked at him then at his lips. We both kept leaning forward until our lips connecting. We kissed softly until we both pulled away. "We'll talk later." I said while getting out of the car and walking towards my house. He waved at me as I walked in and I waved back. Can't wait for the text to come through on my phone tonight.

#ryeriy #nhl hockey #nhl x reader #nhl fanfiction #hockey #mathew barzal x reader #mathew barzal

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn. After all these years agenting, do you still find it exciting and challenging (in a good way) or do you sometimes have to find new ways to keep it from becoming mundane at times? Hope I'm asking this right. I guess what I mean is, what advice do you have for others in the publishing field - agents, editors, authors - or even any job (!) to keep things fresh and stimulating without becoming dull and repetitive?

I find it exciting and challenging, and very rarely would I characterize it as dull or repetitive or mundane, actually. (Even theoretically "dull" activities like data entry or whatever -- while maybe ANNOYING sometimes -- are still of short enough duration that they aren't really any of those other things!)

There's just always some new project, challenge, puzzle to figure out, and one day rarely looks just like the next. (I guess it might from an outside perspective -- like "okkkkkay, she's sat at her computer for 8 hours... the next day she's sat at her computer for 8 hours..." these seem the same! BUT I PROMISE THEY ARE DIFFERENT!)

So where MY problem comes in is not in boredom or anything like that -- it's more: A) PANIC because no matter how much I do, there's literally always more to do. I can't get to inbox zero, the inbox doesn't have a bottom. I can't finish a to-do list this week, or any week, things are just getting added as fast as I can do them. and B) PROCRASTINATION - like right now is my "day off" but I started to low-key panic about the things I have to do. Like, I have to -- HAVE TO!!! -- do my taxes and clean my house, because my mom is coming in a couple of days and the house is a wreck AND I know while she's here I won't have time to do my taxes and whatever whatever -- so instead I'm SCREWING AROUND ON TUMBLR. -- so B is both a result of, and cause of, A. That's my struggle. (And if anyone has advice, hmu.)

I guess my advice if you DO have a repetitive job is, try and break it up into smaller bits, and do other things in between? Like, I can't give notes on multiple books in a row, or read multiple contracts in a row -- I can do ONE, and then I have to do something entirely different, using a different part of my brain. Like I can edit a book, then update social media -- then I can do a contract, but then go outside and just read a published book -- then I can look at queries, etc. But if I tried just editing a book or reading contracts or looking at queries all day long, I'd die.

So if you are a writer, maybe you have dedicated time that you know you can be head down, butt in chair, just writing your face off -- a time when you are by yourself and don't have to worry about feeding any children or animals or anything like that. Focus on that for that dedicated stretch of time -- no looking at email or the news. Then take a break that is totally different -- walk the dog! Make an omelette! Call your mom! -- then, go back to work, but this time, you are editing something you wrote last week. Then, give yourself a treat, have a cup of tea, look at social media. Then, go back to work, but this time you are doing admin -- updating your website, or getting shit together for an event next week, or whatever.

ALSO, I got this piece of advice from a productivity expert (paraphrasing, and also, advice that I should actually take myself but I just remembered about it right now!) Basically, rather than having a lengthy to-do list that feels daunting -- your daily to-do list should be THREE ITEMS. Pick three. ONLY. THREE.

Then when you do those three things, you're done for the day -- you can give yourself a gold star and stop -- OR, you can try for another three.

I do find that when I actually focus -- like, OK, I have ONE HOUR to do this task and only this task, head down, timer on -- or OK, I am going to sit here and do THREE AGENDA ITEMS -- then I actually do them. Whereas if I have a nebulous long list, it's much harder to do!

OK NOW I AM GONNA GO DO MY TAXES BYE.

[atundratoadstool]

Hello there! Thank you for sharing so much amazing information abt Dracula! Tbh your posts are making me nostalgic for literature classes, and that is HIGH praise coming from me (points to blog title).

Anyway, I'm really grappling with Jack Seward's character right now as I (re)read ahead in Dracula. I like him a lot, especially early on, but his treatment of Renfield is, shall we say, not quite up to the ethical standards of the modern day, and the way Jack talks about him gets uhhh, pretty fuckin uncomfy, as I know you're aware ("pet lunatic," indeed)!

In this vein, I'm curious to know more about the history of psychiatry at the time, both the actual practice and the public perception thereof, so I can begin to tease out how much of his behavior was accepted practice, vs how much was Bram Stoker's PERCEPTION of accepted practice, vs how much was, in fact, intended to not look Super Great to contemporary readers (and thus, among other things, contribute to the hints at Jack's own possible mental deterioration, as well as to his rather overly "cerebral" personality).

As far as I can tell, this is something you've studied in some depth, so I was wondering if you could recommend any resources? Preferably free or easily accessible ones, since I don't have logins for any academic institutions or anything.

Please feel free to take your time answering this btw, I know it might be a tall order and I can be patient! I also understand if you just don't have time or energy, so no worries if you can't get to it.

Thank you either way!

[Spoilers and content warning: Discussions of Seward and Renfield later in the text; mentions of vivisection and psychiatric abuse]

Answering this somewhat late, as I have--in fact--had a lot of things draining my time and energy. As always, I'll open with a caveat that it's been a while since Dracula was my primary research topic, so new and exciting insights into Jack Seward may have cropped up since I was last writing about him.

I by no means have a comprehensive understanding of nineteenth-century psychiatry, although combing my tags and my website will turn up some of the specific research I did for little details concerning Dracula (I discussed things a little bit here) . However, I will say that one of the better hints--in my opinion--as to Stoker's intentions for Seward and his perceptions of medical ethics is the extent to which Seward (and later Van Helsing) parrot statements made by Bram Stoker's brother William Thornley Stoker, who was--among other things--a brain surgeon, a visiting physician at St. Patrick's Hospital (a public asylum) in Dublin, and the inspector for Ireland under the vivisection act. There are elements of Dracula pretty clearly lifted from Thornley's articles, and without spoiling too much, R. M. Renfield appears to have had several elements of his character borrowed from an actual case study on one of Thornley's patients (available here, but be warned it has a major spoiler for later events).

We have every indication that Stoker was on good terms with Thornley and respected his medical knowledge (Thornley provided Stoker with notes as to medical procedures in the text), and I feel the choicest bit of Thornleyism we get in the text is a later moment where Seward, in what strikes me as an absolutely chilling passage, compares is plans for Renfield to vivisectionist experiments:

It would almost be worth while to complete the experiment. It might be done if there were only a sufficient cause. Men sneered at vivisection, and yet look at its results to-day! Why not advance science in its most difficult and vital aspect – the knowledge of the brain? Had I even the secret of one such mind – did I hold the key to the fancy of even one lunatic – I might advance my own branch of science to a pitch compared with which Burdon-Sanderson's physiology or Ferrier's brain-knowledge would be as nothing. If only there were a sufficient cause!

This echoes Thornley's pro-vivisectionist sentiments in the aforementioned case study, where he says:

To what, I ask, do I owe the knowledge on which this judgement was founded? Largely to the humane and benevolent investigationsof those biologist who weak, credulous, or mistaken people are actively pelting with the verbal filth of prejudice and ignorance--people who would prefer that this man, formed the image of his Maker, should die, rather than their feeble sentiment be offended by a painless experiment on an ape.

HOWEVER, it is also worth noting here that both Seward and Thornley specify the necessity of an overriding cause, and it is highly debatable whether Seward has one. Thornley elsewhere in his writing takes an anti-vivisectionist stance when it comes to procedures he deems to be unnecessary:

"[…] the arguments of want of necessity and cruelty apply to most, or all, of the experiments in illustration of lectures. Such demonstrations cannot but be demoralising to the young men and women who witness their performance. They seem to me an offense against humanity. (from this 1907 report)

The big question I have here, to my mind, is whether we should read Seward's treatment of Renfield as having "a sufficient cause," and I think how you answer this question will inform your understanding as to where Stoker probably stood with regards to Jack's ethics as a character and whether he intended us to read Jack as unnerving (although, as any 21st century literary scholar, I must offer a quick nod to the author being dead and Jack's creepiness not being contingent on Stoker's intentions for him).

If you want to take a deep dive into the sources with which I was most familiar back when I was fiddling with this argument and penning my unified theory of Seward, Renfield, and Dracula, I will link to my own masters thesis on the matter, which should have a pretty decent biography with regards to the works I consulted when I last really thought through this conundrum.

#Bram Stoker #Dracula #Dracula Daily #Jack Seward #R. M. Renfield #William Thornley Stoker #grad school life

[hekateinhell]

Re 🖤+ a ship

I ask for…. post-IWTV Armand and Louis. I challenge you to fluffy prompts on an angsty ship. I know you’re up for the challenge.

you know that... I thought about it. I remembered the quote about their 'gentle intimacy' during those years; I remembered the mutual fondness and concern they displayed for each other even following their initial separation; I remembered Armand beginning to heal and Louis relearning happiness at Trinity Gate -- which whether you read it as platonic or romantic -- didn't happen out of thin air. So here's what I came up with for the angiest ship era in all of VC:

Who is the most affectionate?

Armand knows Louis isn't exactly the most affectionate person by any means, and he doesn't want to push him and have him retreat into himself even further -- but every once in a while, Armand will gather up what's left of his confidence (or he's that desperate) and tentatively but outwardly confidently touch Louis's elbow or lower back in a way that reinforces the message 'I'm here, I'll wait until you're ready for me.'

Who initiates the handholding?

Surprisingly, Louis. Armand lacks the presumptuous arrogance required to snatch up Louis's hand against his will and they both know this. It's not often but Louis gets used to Armand making an effort to engage him, suggesting this or that or the other. So when he doesn't and a few days go by, it gets his attention in a way most things don't.

Armand doesn't complain, he doesn't lash out or get violent. He simply retreats into himself (much like Louis) and he looks so sad and so old curled up like a gargoyle on the seat next to him that Louis can't resist taking his hand, pressing their palms together and interlacing their fingers, even if just to keep one of them alive.

Who worries more for the other?

Armand does. In a way, by virtue of his actions, he not only made himself Louis's companion but also his caretaker. He feels a certain responsibility; he needs Louis to come back to life but it's simply not happening and it's Armand's burden to bear.

Who is more likely to ask for help?

They're both awful at this during this time. I would have to say Armand though (remembering 'Help me!' at the end of IWTV).

Who is the one always losing the keys?

Who needs keys when you can scale walls like a lizard? (Louis, it's Louis; he forgets he's alive half the time).

Who leaves little love notes for the other?

During their warmer spells, Louis was inclined to gift Armand a favored novel with a brief yet loving inscription on the inside of the cover. Stories could convey more of Louis's emotions toward Armand more easily than spoken words, and Armand cherished this very purposeful invitation into Louis's thoughts.

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there?

Considering how Louis didn't even notice Armand had initially left him in IWTV, I would say Armand. But also because knows how physically weak Louis is in comparison to any other vampires that might want to hurt him, and it also triggers his deep-seated abandonment issues when Louis disappears for days on end. Even if Armand can track him easily and knows more or less exactly where he is, it still hurts in a very raw way (echo of Daniel later on, whoops).

Who is more likely to propose to the other?

For the sake of some needed levity, I'm going to refer back to my post about Armand occasionally cross-dressing during this time so they could blend in as husband and wife in certain places that they travelled to. Armand "proposed" but it was strictly a marriage of convenience.

Who introduced the other to their family first?

Well, that levity was short-lived (RIP). I'm going to steal @covenofthearticulate's answer... technically, Louis did, didn't he? :)

LMAO 😭

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair?

Armand, but I would say it's less playing and more so grooming. Thinking back to him being in despair over Lestat being left 'dusty' and disheveled on the church floor in TVA... It's very important to Armand that those he loves appear well-put together and cared for, even if he has to do it for them himself. They will not be looking dusty, abandoned, and forgotten like Armand was in the catacombs for 300 years.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated?

Armand again. Louis is his responsibility now; Armand saw to that. And it's bad enough that Louis refuses his blood and previously that of his own maker's for the protection it would offer, but a weak, hungry vampire is just too much.

Armand also finds the occasional rats somewhat triggering (Santino and his rats), and altogether very off-putting.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other?

Armand drives out any and all vampires that might pose a threat to them. Louis doesn't consider that anything could actually hurt Armand (physically).

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other?

Armand tries to surprise Louis with trips and outings, anything to incite an emotional response. Sometimes it works, sometimes he's rewarded with a gentlemanly kiss to his hand or an uncharacteristically sudden, tight, and trembling embrace.

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things?

... Even my imagination can't indulge this one.

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch?

Armand usually thinks Louis looks cold and he's right, but he's hesitant to irritate him with too much fussing. Besides, it's not a physical coldness which is easily remedied.

Sometimes Armand tucks himself up into a reading chair and closes his eyes and remains completely still for the rest of the night--he's been so tired for so long. When Louis notices (and he occasionally does), he gathers a covering from near the fireplace that's warm and soft and arranges it over Armand's shoulders and around his chest. Armand looks incredibly innocent and childlike when he mimics a mortal in repose; it can't help but invoke Louis's long-buried caregiver instincts.

#it's cold and rainy here today perfect weather for brooding about them #i hope these are any good i HURT MYSELF to get them #vc #armand/louis #ship headcanons ask meme