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nightynightghoul · 2 months

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I have so many thoughts about the ghouls and the ministry.

So this is my take on what the abbey/ministry looks like + a lot of my own worldbuilding. (I made this in Inkarnate, which is meant for dnd maps and stuff.)

Be warned that this is like 2000+ words of what my head has come up with. So under the cut it goes.

I based it on actual abbeys. I've been to like two monk ones and a few convents where I live and abroad and this is what I came up with. I also attended a catholic nun school for a good while, so many of the things here are actually from my memories...

From what I've seen, abbeys are usually isolated and at least partially self-sufficient. Even when they happen to be in the middle of cities. The smaller ones are like a square corridor surrounding a courtyard and the bigger ones have many buildings with that pattern.

I'm not sure where this would be located, maybe Sweden, maybe the US. But since I Imagine the ministry being so old, it wouldn't fit in the US, since there aren't buildings this old or with this architecture.

I also read up on how abbeys work to bulk up the lore in this map and what goes on in the buildings.

So strap in because this will be long.

The biggest building in the abbey is the Grand Church (Ghurch), I headcannon that they have this very big beautiful sorta gothic style cathedral in the abbey grounds, since religious live does kinda go around services and all that. Them having this pretty church would also mean that there's no need for a chapel?

I also think ghouls are not summoned in the church proper but rather from a permanent circle/well. So there's the Summoning Well beside the church. They probably made it that way because it would be dangerous to have any sibling walking in there.

To the other side, there's a sacristy and a Papal Office. The sacristy is where Papa would have his ceremonial robes with his mitre and stuff. I also think it works as storage for service supplies. Things like incense, books, all the plates, cups, and things they would use.

Then the papal office would be the actual workplace for the current papa. Big ol wooden desk with lots of bookshelves, a sofa, probably one of those fancy liquor carts?

There's also a mausoleum close to the church. I mean, I needed a place to keep Nihil's corpse… But it'd be pretty useful to keep the memory of siblings that pass away in the abbey.

Under that are the Clerical buildings. I imagine that when people say “the ministry” it's the Clergy Offices they're talking about. Since most siblings/clergy spend their time within the abbey, it only seems logical to separate living spaces from working spaces to keep people moving and changing environments.

Since I also believe these buildings are super old then the most sought after and fancy offices and quarters would be on the ground floor (no elevator and all that). Which means Imperator probably has her office on the ground floor here along the past Papas and older clergy members.

The living quarters would be much the same in that Imperator, the Papas and now Copia have their rooms here. This building probably has a common room but most have their own kitchenette. Since it's such an old building, the interiors of the rooms have probably been remodelled many times. But it being built out of stone also means it's cold inside all the time.

Both buildings are inside a walled garden. I head cannon that way back, like a couple hundred years back the ministry didn't have a very good grasp of ghoul summoning, and they were sometimes more aggressive or feral than what they are now. (It's probably more of a case that in the olden times, clergy treated ghouls like shit, so they had more reasons to lash out and or kill someone) So they kept some of the abbey's buildings behind tall rock walls and wrought iron gates to add a little more protection. Since it's hardly necessary today, the gates stay open, but the walls are still there.

Then down the path there's the chapter house. What is a chapter house I hear you ask. It's the place where the people that live in the abbey talk and manage non religious things related to abbey life. So this would probably be where poor Aether get's relocated to do taxes and where other mundane office tasks are done. So accounting, admin work, grounds keeping and “housekeeping” are all located here.

Across from it is the Seminary. A seminary proper is like priest school, they go and study for a few years I think, and then they come out priests. But I imagine that in this case it's like a college/university thing, where siblings have Latin classes, horticulture, demonology etc... There's probably some teachers offices here and several classrooms raging in size from auditorium to 3 chairs and a letter sized whiteboard. It for sure has a pretty foyer thing. Imagine groups of siblings sitting around before or after classes, complaining how they thought Terzo's basic Latin class would be a breeze, but it's actual hell. This building has one of those pretty inner courtyards, fountain and all. I'd like to think some classes can be held there, like outside but not outside, you know?

Beside the Seminary, there's a school/nursery. I think couples that have children within the ministry can have the option to move into a bigger space together within the siblings quarters and their children will have a regular secular education until they are old enough to choose satanism or something else. The nursery part takes care of the babies and ghoul kits during the day or while the parents are busy.

I think joining the ministry and becoming a sibling is not something that happens easily or quickly. The same way, nuns spend a few years being novices before actually dressing and having the same responsibilities as their elders. Hence, the Novices Quarters. They are still part of the abbey's daily life, but they have to attend more classes at the seminary and are just a bit more separated from ghouls than regular siblings. Since they probably want to make sure they are really devout and prepared before seeing and interacting with an actual demon. Out of all the siblings and clergy, Novices would probably be closer to being actually “recluse” since in my head there's no way they can freely explore the abbey without accidentally running into a ghoul or walking in to a ritual or seeing things that shouldn't just yet.

In front of it are the workshops. I've seen some people headcannon that the ghouls not only have “jobs” in their downtime and retirement but also hobbies. Like fire, ghouls probably frequent the forge in the workshops or blow glass. Earth ghouls can maybe take the prettiest wood here to be turned into furniture. Ghouls and siblings would work together here to repair and maintain the abbey's physical structure.

Down the path there's the main storehouse. Pretty central in relation to the other buldings. It has 2 floors and a basement. That way they can keep everything, from ageing cheeses and wines to office supplies and staples.

Across the path there's the sibling's Infirmary. I definitely wanted to keep the ghouls and siblings apart in this case. Mainly, because if the building are so old, and they were protected by walls and gates, ghouls would most likely not be trusted to be left in the same building as sick and defenseless siblings. But I think that nowadays ghoul medical staff like Omega, Aether and Phantom work in between the “sibling” infirmary and the “ghoul” infirmary with no trouble. But ghouls do prefer to stay in their own infirmary, since it's closer to the dens.

The siblings quarters surround “Mother's garden” or “Lilith's garden”, both wings share a common room but since the buildings are so old they were built to segregate women from men. Hence, the two quarters wings, two office building and two distinct baths. This separation is ignored nowadays. One, people can have other genders. Two, the “sisters” side has been remodelled to accommodate families.

Like I mentioned when describing the siblings infirmary, there's also a ghoul infirmary. Much smaller and closer to the dens, this infirmary does not have much regarding sophisticated equipment. But it's rather used for minor injuries and easy to fix things. Although the second floor does have Omega's office and private rooms for ghouls. Like Dew (not me making a whole building to be able to imagine @littlemoon-beam fics and headcannons about Dewdrop) who's a frequent flyer of the infirmary.

Of course there has to be an outdoor space of recreation, so I made a “central” plaza with benches and a fountain in the middle (Is this where a high, zooted of his ass Rain has been seen naked? naaaah. Surely not). I called it “All hedonist's fountain” because I can and because it's a nice mirror to things called “All saints whatever”.

Behind the ghoul's infirmary, there's a huge stone wall and gate. That would be the dens. Since I headcannon that there are more ghouls than just the band ghouls, they also need a place to live. Hence, the “General quarters” of the dens, there's also the “band quarters” separated from it. They both share a common room, but they're not directly connected to it, and both buildings have their own little common room. I think the band quarters was the first building made to house ghouls and that's why it has it's own kitchen.

There's also the ghouls workrooms. I think this is where they would have a rehearsal room and other offices.

“Father's gardens”, “Lucifer's gardens” or more recently “Primo's gardens” are within the den's stone walls. (I like to think Primo keeps them all pretty for the ghouls). It has a little pond in it too, no fish though. Blame hungry water ghouls for that.

Across the dens there's the Library. When I was in school, that was the biggest, grandest, most secular place there was and I loved it. So I made this library huge. I separated it into two wings connected by a hall. The only difference between both wings is that the east wing houses all the older books, and it probably has a “restricted” section that only higher clergy members have access to. Maybe for the better, since they wouldn't want a curious sibling trying to summon lord Leviathan and pissing him off.

In the middle of the wings there's the scribes hall. I'd like to think that when people write ghouls working in the library this would be the place. They would probably have book binding equipment, scribes tables, the whole thing. All to maintain the old books in a usable state and register new information the clergy learns from hell.

By the library's east wing, there's "The observatory". Again included because my head needed a scenario and location for the quints to watch the stars. I'd say its a fairly tall tower with a glass dome, some furniture, some books, maybe a desk and telescopes.

There is of course a mess hall. I imagne a big kitchen on one side and a cafeteria like thing where most have their meals, or at least they can go get them to take to another place in the abbey.

Beside it there's a pretty herb garden, animal pastures, some crops, a barn, granary , mill and the greenhouses. I think it was @mac-and-thefox who came up with the idea of there being a farm like think within the abbey and my mind just ran with it. (Do correct me if I'm worng there).

Now there's only one more man made bulding in the map and that would be "Mountain's greenhouse". A true staple for ghost fanfics. It probably was a run down space abandoned by groundskeeping but Mountain wanted privacy + plants and everyone agreed he could do whatever with the little building. Not that Imperator needs to know that Mountain grows weed and hellish plants inside...

The whole eastern side of the abbey is flaked by a forest (ghouls need to have hunting grounds people.) In it there's Mountain's greenhouse, a small rocky hill "Starry hill" and under it a small grotto. More like a hole the water made within the stone, so it's now a tiny cave.

Of course I had to have "The Lake", or else this map would not fit any fanfic involving Rain and Dew. There's a small stream that crosses the abbey and ends up at the lake. Most siblings know to stay away.

The "Southern Clearing". A little clearing full of clover and flowers, a nice place for siblings to celebrate the solstices and equinoxes.

Finally, just beside the Summoning well there's a rocky hill with an old wrought iron door closing it off. I headcannon there are indeed tunnels and crypts running under the abbey but they're closed off now since they're dangerous. Doesn't mean the ghouls don't have a way to go in and out but it's still dangerous for humans. I think the more elusive ghouls, like Special and Cowbell stay here because they want the isolation. There absolutely are old abbandoned torture and sacrifice rooms down here. But modern siblings don't need to know that. (Also, I very much think old ghouls before Nihil and way back were not only not treated nicely or fairly but straight up chained or tortured sometimes. (I'm still in the air on the fact that Imperator knows this and threatens misbehaving ghouls with that along with banishment.)

#the band ghost #nameless ghouls #shitghosting #ghost ghouls #ghost #This took me way too long #Is ghost consuming my thoughts? yes #Am I obsessed with this band and it's all TF fault? Also yes. More at 10:00 #I'm also hella nervous about tagging other people in this #If someone has more thoughts on the map or base their things in it I will evaporate

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sustainabilitythoughts · 8 months

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The case against bug zappers

A recent Washington Post article discussed bug zappers, those electric bug killers that many use in their yards. Advertisements say they kill mosquitos, but scientists say bug zappers work well on beneficial insects but not on mosquitos. Colorado State University’s extension service says that no controlled scientific study has shown that these devices reduce mosquito biting rates outdoors. Widespread use of these bug zappers may be hastening the decline of beneficial insect populations that feed a lot of other critters and pollinate plants. Instead of using a bug zapper, which uses electricity and kills beneficial insects, look for other ways to avoid mosquito bites. This article is behind a paywall for many people, but here are some highlights.

In one study, a single bug zapper killed 10,000 insects in one night, but only eight were mosquitos.

In another study, of the 13,739 insects killed by one zapper over the summer, about half were harmless insects that feed aquatic creatures in lakes and streams. Many of the others were insects that prey on mosquitos. Only 31 insects were biting insects such as gnats or mosquitos.

Long sleeves and pants will prevent bites in the covered areas. Mosquitos can’t fly against a steady breeze, so a fan can keep mosquitoes away from an outdoor table or sitting area. Use a bug repellent. Do a little research on types of bug repellents – some are pretty effective, and some don’t live up to the claims on the bottle. The US Environmental Protection Agency has a webpage that compares insect repellents.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/09/12/bug-zappers-mosquito-repellent/

#sustainability #environment #ecology

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asterlark · 5 months

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me and den @unloneliest were just talking about murderbot and ART's relationship and i want to discuss how they quite literally complete each other's sensory and emotional experience of the world!!

there's a few great posts on here such as this one about how murderbot uses drones to fully and properly experience the world around it (it also accesses security cameras/other systems for this same purpose). but i haven't seen anyone so far talk about how once MB stops working for the company and consequently doesn't have a hubsystem/secsystem to connect to anymore (which for its entire existence up to that point had been how it was used to interacting with its environment/doing its job), after it meets ART, ART starts to fill that gap.

ART gives MB access to more cameras, systems, and information archives than it would normally be able to connect with while MB is on its own outside of ART's... body(? lol), but also directly gives MB access to its own cameras, drones, archives, facilities, and processing space. additionally, so much of ART's function is dedicated to analysis, lateral thinking, and logical reasoning, and it not only uses those skills in service of reaching murderbot's goals, it teaches murderbot how to use those same skills. (ART might be a bit of an asshole about how it does this, but that doesn't negate just how much it does for murderbot for no reason other than it's bored/interested in MB as an individual.)

we all love goofing about how artificial condition can basically be boiled down to "two robots in a trench coat trying to get through a job interview" (which is entirely accurate tbh) but that's also such a great example of ART fulfilling the role of both murderbot's "hubsystem" and "secsystem", allowing it to fully experience its environment/ succeed in its goals. ART provides MB with crucial information, context, and constructive criticism, and uses its significant processing power to act as MB's backup and support system while they work together.

from ART's side of things, we get a very explicit explanation of how it needs the context of murderbot's emotional reactions to media in order to fully understand and experience the media as intended. it tried to watch media with its humans, and it didn't completely understand just by studying their reactions. but when it's in a feed connection with murderbot, who isn't human but has human neural tissue, ART is finally able to thoroughly process the emotional aspects of media (side note, once it actually understands the emotional stakes in a way that makes sense for it, it's so frightened by the possibility of the fictional ship/crew in worldhoppers being catastrophically injured or killed that it makes murderbot pause for a significant amount of time before it feels prepared to go on. like!! ART really fucking loves its crew, that is all).

looking at things further from ART's perspective: its relationship with murderbot is ostensibly the very first relationship it's been able to establish with not only someone outside of its crew, but also with any construct at all. while ART loves its crew very much (see previous point re: being so so scared for the fate of the fictional crew of worldhoppers), it never had a choice in forming relationships with them. it was quite literally programmed to build those relationships with its crew and students. ART loves its function, its job, and nearly all of the humans that spend time inside of it, but its relationship with murderbot is the first time it's able to choose to make a new friend. that new friend is also someone who, due to its partial machine intelligence, is able to understand and know ART on a whole other level of intimacy that humans simply aren't capable of. (that part goes for murderbot, too, obviously; ART is its first actual friend outside of the presaux team, and its first bot friend ever.)

and because murderbot is murderbot, and not a "nice/polite to ART most of the time" human, this is also one of the first times that ART gets real feedback from a friend about the ways that its actions impact others. after the whole situation in network effect, when the truth of the kidnapping comes to light and murderbot hides in the bathroom refusing to talk to ART (and admittedly ART doesn't handle this well lol) - ART is forced to confront that despite it making the only call it felt able to make in that horrifying situation, despite it thinking that that was the right call, its actions hurt murderbot, and several other humans were caught in the crossfire. what's most scary to ART in that moment is the idea that murderbot might never forgive it, might never want to talk to it again. it's already so attached to this friendship, so concerned with murderbot's wellbeing, that the thought of that friendship being over because of its own behavior is terrifying. (to me, this almost mirrors murderbot's complete emotional collapse when it thinks that ART has been killed. the other more overt mirror is ART fully intending on bombing the colony to get murderbot back.)

in den's words, they both increase the other's capacity to feel: ART by acting as a part of murderbot's sensory system, and murderbot by acting as a means by which ART can access emotion. they love one another so much they would do pretty much anything to keep each other safe/avenge each other, but what's more, they unequivocally make each other more whole.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #asshole research transport #network effect #mine #idk what else to tag lol #BIG thanks to den unloneliest for helping so much with the drafting/editing of this!!!#we both were having some brain fog issues yesterday so we joked that with our combined forces we can make one (1) post lol #just like mb and ART fr!!!!#anyway im so fucking emotional over themmmmm #murderbot meta #the murderbot diaries meta

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official-darkforest · 13 days

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Given how Feathertail dies in this AU, I'm guessing Sharptooth the mountain lion is either a cop or a really violent war hawk in this?

Also, where does Sasha and her kits fit in?

(This is such a cool AU I love it so much)

yep, i think it makes more sense if sharptooth was a war hawk which allows fetaher to more realistically be the cause his of death after the fight they have (he dies suddenly that night due to the brain injury he sustained), while other “sharptooths” are cops and such.

sasha and her kits are tiger’s affair family. she was an aspiring actress that lost her home after her elderly father passed away, his estate being ripped out of her hands and thrusting her out onto the streets with very little to her name. tiger took a liking to her - unfortunately she would find out he was married and purposefully hid away their oldest son tad from him, but still kept in contact. golden and tiger never divorced but golden did disown her husband, and tiger went back to sasha. he had fallen hard for her and weasled his way into her good graces, meeting tad and getting her pregnant two more times. tad would end up drowning during flood season.

in the meantime, tawny would end up in her father’s care (he pulled some strings. she was always a daddy’s girl and turned her against goldenflower for a few months) and she would meet her younger half siblings. she and sasha did not get along well.

tawny would stay with them even after tiger got arrested for his crimes (murder, some other things) since she already got set up to attend a university close by. sasha was relieved when tawny moved out, but didn’t know what to do with her own two children and struggled a lot being a single mother. tiger was still stringing her along and making promises he likely wouldnt be able to fulfill and she was too lonely to leave.

eventually, she found solace in leopardstar and the two became good friends. leopardstar was like an aunt to moth and hawk. sasha’s depression wpuld get worse, though, and for the sake of her children she entrusted leopardstar to be their guardian from then on. sasha would disappear for a while to find herself and get away from tiger. she’s reappeared once every few years, but after a certain point they just stopped hearing from her entirely.

moth had felt abandoned by religion and her family, resenting them for leaving her this way and having 0 control over anything in her life. pushed into it by her brother, she put all her energy towards studying medicine and becoming an army nurse. she served for a few years before resigning and studying to become an emergency surgeon instead - a familiar high stakes environment without the danger of herself being killed. she chopped her hair short in the 70s after returning from her military service.

hawk meanwhile served in the vietnam war. he had been in the military since he was in his late teens, inspired by his father and leopardstar (who was one of many rosie riveters for WW2). he would meet ashfur from thunderclan and hear about his half brother brambleclaw through him (“you remind me of someone back home” ‘really?’) and mudclaw. hawk was lucky enough to return home, keeping in touch with tiger snd bumping into bramble, who came up to visit tawny and figured he’d show his face while he was here. the two got along pretty well after the initial shock, but eventually a rift was put between them when (i have yet to decide what about) and they stop talking, much to squilf’s relief.

#warrior cats #anthro warrior cats #hawkfrost #sasha #mothwing #tadpole #micks anthro au

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jethrowest · 8 days

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let me see you stripped down to the bone…

- stripped by depeche mode

congratulations! you’ve been hired as homelander’s entire glam squad! what an opportunity! now let’s try real hard not to let the fumes get to you, okay?

pairing : homelander/afab reader

word count : 5.6k

warnings : homelander in and of himself, toxic workplace environment, something akin to stockholm syndrome, fingering, smut. 18+, mdni

special thanks to @blindmagdalena @sehtoast @homeb0ys and @clockworkzeppelin for letting me scream at you about this!

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Homelander is an asshole.

That doesn’t bother you much. You’ve dealt with plenty in this field, which means you’ve learned how to make life easier for all parties. That particular learning curve includes when to stand out and blend in, at times concurrently depending on what variety of asshole they happen to be.

As a whole, the makeup artists and hairstylists at Vought take care of The Seven and go where they’re needed. And as a cosmetologist, you were hired to provide both services for Homelander and Homelander only, which you consider to be one of the most prestigious stamps one could add to their professional passport.

Before you became official, you were colorfully threatened by a Ms. Ashley Barrett, who, after the fact, had no qualms throwing you into the lion’s den to figure your own shit out.

In no uncertain terms were you told that if you fucked any part of this up, your sparkling resume would look best as something to sit her smooth, bare ass on while getting fucked on top of her desk. No lube or protection. It would then be tossed exactly like her salad.

Not an image you could have ever predicted crossing your mind. Honestly, you should have stopped her right there and walked your happy little ass out of her office toward pastures that might have not been greener (you were being handsomely compensated), but certainly not as toxic. While the red flags were a color you couldn’t quite ignore, you were also curious about why they stood out so much more than they did regarding previous employers.

None of this is to say you live under a rock. Anyone who has access to the internet is ambushed daily by these Supes’ personal lives. Homelander’s track record as far as choice in partners went hadn’t been ideal, so you understand that made him less popular at the time. That of course has nothing to do with you or your capabilities.

You opt to wear gray-colored glasses, seeing everything with a neutral blend of black and white. As much as possible anyway.

Nevertheless, curiosity killed the cat. But hopefully not your career.

The first day was awkward to say the least. Immediately, you knew you weren’t going to like your coworkers.

Glints of sympathy changed how they perceived you. A target, whether they intended for this to happen or not, was nailed to your forehead, and it made them buzz around you like avid, greedy wasps keen on seeing how rapidly the honeybee will be brutalized. You didn’t much care for going cross-eyed while staring at that target whenever you crossed paths. They didn’t know you, yet because of who you were working under, deemed you helpless. They didn’t give you a chance to establish yourself before branding you a victim.

Why should you respect them?

Small talk wasn’t entertained either, as their judgment tarnished any future encounters. They ostracized you once you showed no interest in engaging with them. That didn’t disappoint you. You weren’t here to make friends.

You do wonder how those before you fared: if they were jaded when they arrived or if they couldn’t help but succumb to the pressures of being at the top rung of a very unstable albeit sought after ladder.

Ms. Barrett quickly introduced you to Homelander, her parting gift before leaving the two of you alone.

You weren’t completely nervous in his presence. He wasn’t any different to you than the other celebrities you’d worked on, except he could rip you in half like a piece of paper if he was so inclined. But he’s the hero of this country’s story, so really, you should have nothing to worry about.

His demeanor, you noted, suggested arrogance, annoyance, and boredom. All things you’re used to. So you offered your hand to shake, which he eyed with a slightly upturned nose before grabbing, told him it was a pleasure to meet him and got straight to business.

Looking back, he was clearly expecting more out of you. Maybe not a display as excessive as getting on your knees and professing your undying love, but close enough. Somewhere in the middle, perhaps.

Part of you believes he might have also counted on fear. To you, he’s not anything or anyone unknown. Another big name in a fancy suit with impossible demands.

You were given a routine to follow and products to use. You did as you were instructed and found the process to be simple and, as Homelander’s expression revealed, uninspiring.

While you were utilizing a face brush to apply powder, he must have decided he was done enduring your lack of enthusiasm, because he suddenly asked, “What are you wearing?”

You stopped for a split second, no longer than, and continued. “The name of my clothing designer, you mean?”

He scoffed, waving his gloved hand at you, almost knocking the applicator you held to the ground. “No, your perfume. What are the top notes?”

You laughed and that seemed to confuse him. “Why, you want a bottle?”

“I don’t like it.” He sniffed sharply and cleared his throat. “Smells like you should be on the corner selling your used body parts.”

Ding ding ding. Alarm bells and red flags galore. You enjoy a challenge, however, and are a bit of a masochist, so you persevere.

“Well, what doesn’t smell like a cheap hooker to you? I’ll start wearing that instead.”

He cocked a brow, studying you. Trying to figure out if you were being serious or mocking him.

“It’s your first day.” A warning. “Are you on your best behavior, or can you do better?” He leaned forward in his chair, forcing you backward. “You should be working harder to prove yourself. Prove your worth.” He sat back again and shrugged. “Or maybe you really are worth as much as that dumpster juice you doused yourself in.”

At this point, he more than likely envisioned your happy little ass getting offended and storming out of the room. Breaking down, sobbing. Questioning why he was being so rude. One of those or, better yet, a nifty combination.

You’ve heard worse, unfortunately for him. Not always directed at you, but that doesn’t matter. You can handle it.

“You’re absolutely right,” you stated calmly, folding your arms across your chest. He looked at you with pretentious, petulant intrigue. “It is my first day, and I want to make a good impression. Which is why I’m asking you what you would like me to wear so I can continue to keep that good impression intact and, as our professional relationship develops, stay on top of it.”

Homelander’s mouth twitched. He sighed deeply and slouched in his seat, staring at the wall to the left of him. Then he deigned to cast his gaze back at you, resting his cheek on his index and middle finger. He tapped the arm rest with his other hand.

“Ugh, fine. Whatever.” A pause followed that lasted longer than necessary. Were you meant to guess? “Just wear something, I dunno, less. If you would have done your homework like a good little peon, you’d know I have super senses. Highly developed. Can you even imagine what that entails?”

Finally, he freed the canvas you were nearly finished with, and you flicked the soft bristles across the bridge of his nose. You smiled, more to yourself than him.

Felt rather on the nose, as the saying goes.

He didn’t comment on your grin. You didn’t give him time to. But he did huff like you were being obtuse on purpose.

“I can try. And my imagination is giving me some less-than-ideal scenarios,” you replied. Another pause. At least he was letting you do your job again.

You don’t know what compelled you to keep going, but something about his lack of a real answer made you carry on. “Do you have a favorite flower or baked good? Maybe a spice?”

Homelander almost glared up at you. You say almost because, for whatever reason, it didn’t seem like he was directing that harshness at you, though former words and actions proved otherwise. Something inside, perhaps. Or outside of this enclosed space.

“I already told you what to wear. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

You took the hint and remained quiet the rest of your session. Soon, you were done.

As you were packing and tidying up your station, he took it upon himself to stand behind you. He lingered over your shoulder, watching the scene play out like he was director and star and you were barely an ant on the sidewalk he acknowledged before squashing.

The heat radiating off of him was impossible to dismiss, a wall of it barricading your backside. He clasped his fingers underneath his cape and inched closer. You thought he was as close to you as he could get without touching you. He was that warm.

When you glanced up, he was staring at you through the mirror. As absurd as it was, you managed to get chills. Goosebumps broke the surface of your skin.

“Fresh chocolate chip cookies. Straight out of the oven. Like mom used to make.” He flashed an unnerving smile before turning to exit.

From there on out, even after you bent to his will and found a gourmand scent that matched what he described, Homelander tested you. Your work ethic, clothing choice, eating habits, and most of all, patience.

Your parents would ask how you were liking your job, how it was working alongside the Supes- not to mention the most famous of all- and you’d lie through your teeth. You felt you had no choice, Ashley’s threat ringing in your ears.

Resume, bare ass, tossed salad...

Oh yeah, it’s going great! They’re all super flexible. I couldn’t be happier!

At least that pun made you feel a little better about hiding the shame of what you’ve allowed yourself to take on.

This was all in the first few weeks. It started to get a little easier after that, which is surprising considering more was added to your to-do list.

You should have moved on before starting. But, for whatever asinine reason, you didn’t.

Every time you go back to your apartment and assess your appearance in the bathroom mirror, you wonder who’s making who up here. He’s changing your looks more than you are his. You’re like his human doll.

You’ve put up with a lot over the years, but this takes the cake and shoves it in your face. As fucked as it is, the flavor is growing on you. Like a fungus. Growing, nonetheless.

You can’t stop thinking about him.

It’s innocent enough, you try convincing yourself. Making sure you have the right outfit laid out the night before, the right lunch (no onions or fish or anything “freaky”!), etc. He is your superior, after all. You shouldn’t be viewing him in any other light.

He’s the most frustrating aspect of your existence these days, but he’s also the one you’re around the most. His penchant for workplace gossip and how unintentionally funny he is tends to make him palatable, which has regrettably become an understatement.

Months go by. You’ve witnessed how alone he truly is. How he has nothing outside of performing his tricks on Vought’s all-encompassing stage. And when he begins asking for your input, starts doing things for you that are so blatant it’s perplexing, you find your stress and vexation melting into cumbersome fascination.

It’s embarrassing. You don’t have the courtesy of enough time to dwell on your feelings toward the situation either, from beginning to whatever end you might be met with. You suppose that could be beneficial in the long run.

It also hits you when you least expect it; when you really don’t want it to.

Your body doesn’t wait until you finally have a moment alone. It decides, while you’re helping Homelander with his skincare routine that he insisted upon because you know more than these vacuous corporate douche-bags, to heat up without warning and slither from your head to your heart until it grasps you unfairly between your legs.

You try not to step into momentary paralysis. You understand to what extent his powers reach. It’s not like he doesn’t go on and on about them. About himself.

Whatever he notices, it’s not right away. A palpable tension fills the air between the two of you eventually. But it takes a more significant amount of time than you would have anticipated to permeate the natural flow of things.

Fuck, you can’t even be safe inside here, where your thoughts, whatever they may be, are yours. You can’t even have yourself. He has every part of you, and you are willingly relinquishing that control.

Your evening, once you can have it, consists of combing over every decision you’ve made leading up to this strange, disorienting space you find yourself occupying. All it does is leave you exasperated in a much different way than before and with an unsettling observation (or hallucination):

Was that the tail end of the American flag outside your window?

You are unacceptably late.

Rushing around, you throw on the first top and bottoms you see from your closet and spritz some perfume on your neck and wrists. You don’t check your phone. You’re afraid of what will pop up on your screen. And, frankly, you don’t have the time.

Your only option for transportation is the subway, as you’re sure the special vehicle from Vought is long gone. Why would they wait for someone like you, even if you’re practically Homelander’s personal assistant? One of his only friends. You doubt he has more than Black Noir, and that isn’t as perfect as it appears to the casual viewer.

You dread what kind of explosion you’re without a doubt walking into once you show your miserable ass up. You’re going to smell like everyone on this train. He’s going to go ballistic.

The question remains: why are you continuing to put yourself through this? It’s not your circus, yet somehow, the monkeys have become your liability.

You know, deep down, what keeps you going back. It’s simply too ridiculous to admit aloud.

Making your way past security, hurriedly presenting your badge, you realize you forgot to brush your teeth, or at the very least, gargle some mouthwash. You thank your lucky stars when you open your purse to a pack of gum tucked away in one of the compartments.

It will have to do.

When you open the door to Homelander’s dressing room, you see a couple of employees standing near the counter where the bag of supplies has been opened and rifled through, looking like they might soil themselves, a frantic Ashley, and an extremely pissed off Homelander in the middle of it all.

Reflexively, you cringe. You attempt to wipe any trace from your features, but it’s too late. Ashley is glaring daggers at you and Homelander can hardly bring himself to look in your direction. The others don’t matter to you. They never did.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. I know there’s no excuse-”

“You’re goddamned right, there’s no excuse! I don’t give a shit if god and his whole fucking choir of angels came down from heaven and divinely called you to give them a makeover! What were you thinking?!”

You’re about to answer, though you comprehend her query is more or less rhetorical. She interrupts your slightly open mouth while gesturing wildly, proving your point.

“Oh, that’s right! You weren’t thinking at all, were you?! But I do believe you’ve thought long and hard about what’s at stake here. And you know damn well we at Vought don’t tolerate this kind of sloppy behavior. Not to mention the way you’re dressed! It’s adding insult to injury!” Her hand swipes at the air, the length of your outfit, and you glance down, recognizing how comically mismatched you are. Her correct observation affects you more than it would have months prior, stinging your ego- one of the many things that’s been shelved in order to accommodate the person who won’t even grace you with a glance.

A dramatic groan cuts short any further commentary from the redhead, perpetually stretched thin between her absurd duties.

“Jesus Christ, Ashley, why are your big fucking horse gums still flapping?” Homelander’s booming voice slices through your mind like a jarring, dense migraine. He pinches his brow between middle finger and thumb, eyes closed. “I want you and Tweedledee and Tweedledum t’get the fuck out. Now.”

Ashley is plainly dumbfounded, struggling to see where she went wrong (a pattern when it comes to dealing with the volatile leader of The Seven), mouth agape. She shakes her head. “But sir, are you-?”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about or doing. Clearly.”

Ms. Barrett turns a shade paler, staring at Homelander and blinking owlishly before snapping herself out of her stupor. She hurries her lackeys out of the room, shooing them along like a pair of misbehaving toddlers. She doesn’t give a final look, no further warning. She merely shuts the door behind her.

You also hear it lock.

What the hell does she think is going to happen?

You should have stopped this while you had the chance. You should have never taken this job. You should have stood up for yourself and walked out. You should have you should have you should-

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

His caustic tone sends shivers down your spine. It’s unlike anything you’ve heard come out of him. And you’ve heard enough.

Again, you open your mouth. It fills with blood, thick and metallic and more potent than the mint from your gum. You’re silenced by it.

He stalks toward you and grabs you hastily by the shoulders, swiveling you around so you’re face-to-face with the choices you’ve made. Your mirrored image is reflected back at you, exhausted and searching for any last shred of who you might be beneath his heavy palms.

“Look at yourself! Do you even recognize who’s staring back at you?” No.

“What kind of game are you playing, hmmm? Is this… humiliating spectacle you’re putting on for the money? Your pathetic career? Like it’s goddamned rocket science to pick up a can of hairspray and use it. Monkeys have hands.” He makes a noise that’s akin to a snorting horse, exhaling forcefully past his nostrils. “I mean, did you really think you could pull a fast one on me?” He clutches your jaw, squeezing it between middle and thumb. Every muscle in your body tenses, your heart picking up rhythm.

“Spit that fucking gum out. Don’t think I can’t hear you grinding it between your molars like a dumb animal. You aren’t a mama bird, are you? Y’don’t have cute little baby birds t’force-feed your regurgitated leftovers, do you? Eugh, gross.”

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose. It presents you with a false sense of security. You do as you’re told, and it lands on the floor in front of your shoe, saliva dangling on a thread as withered as your sanity.

Suddenly fresh breath seems like the most insignificant issue, when Homelander himself once made it out to be something earth-shattering.

You’re such a fool.

He leans in and sniffs your throat. Your fingers lengthen and bend.

You’re so many things at once. Confused, angry, nervous, scared. And, to your dismay, warm. God you’re so fucking warm. He’s heating you up from the inside out. You clench your jaw, still held in place by a firm bind.

“Get rid of those ugly clothes. I don’t care what you have to do. I can’t stand the sight or smell of them.”

You shut your eyes. When you open them, all you see is red. The other emotions are smothered in favor of that brand of heat. What happens next is a blur. You temporarily leave yourself.

“Fine. Have it your way, Homelander. You always do.”

Breaking free of his fluctuating hold, you start tearing at what you’re wearing, tossing everything- including your bra and underwear- to the ground. Your shirt winds up with the gum sticking to its loose fabric. You even take your shoes and socks off, not paying any heed to where your belongings go. Just that they’re gone.

You don’t process the glaring fact that you made yourself naked in front of your boss. In front of the most powerful man this country, and possibly world, has known. You don’t care that things have escalated this far. That they shouldn’t have. They shouldn’t have. But guess what? They did. And these are the consequences you both have to deal with.

“You wanna know what game I’m playing?” You turn around, forcing him backward. “It’s funny, I thought you’d be able to answer that for me, considering all the hoops I’ve had to jump through to not only save my ass, but make sure you had someone to talk to at the end of the day! Who on your team can you say goes above and beyond like that for you?!” He blinks at you now, eyes wide. Features fall to the floor where your clothes reside. You have his full and undivided attention.

An impressively dangerous thing to have.

“What more do you want from me, Homelander? I practically live with you without any of the benefits that usually includes! You’re really going to stand here and berate me like I haven’t given you fucking everything you’ve ever asked me for? Because I made one mistake? I gave up my entire world, which I know doesn’t mean shit to you. But it does to me.”

You fold your arms over your chest. Nothing covers it. You have to know before you lose all dignity. So you ask once more, hoping it won’t get lost in this bizarre mess.

“What do you want from me?”

Nothing. He can’t stop staring at you. You aren’t aware enough to be ashamed, but you are aware enough to be upset.

His infuriating silence compels you to bend down and gather what was a barrier between the two of you. You are no longer needed if he can’t do what he does best, which is spout off, leaking bottled words everywhere like a broken faucet. It’s a pretty simple question, you think.

That’s when the glass behind you shatters.

You flinch, pause what you’re doing and slowly stand. Cautious in whatever your next approach will be.

Surveying the aftermath, you’re relieved to find that you’re far enough away from the mirror so no injuries were inflicted.

When you finally lock eyes with the source, you see red. The atmosphere surrounding you heaves like the distended belly of a rotting corpse; hisses like an overflowing tea kettle; pierces you like lightning.

Homelander’s expression is rigid. His jaw quivers. Irises are a bright, shining scarlet. If you try anything rash, you might be next. But, having been around him for so long, you’re more inclined to believe he’s having trouble processing his own emotions. And that might have been one of the only ways to release them.

You drop the top and pants you managed to reclaim. Your brain hasn’t fully recovered from the constant devastating hit it’s taken, so you don’t want to put a name to what’s pushing you forward. You don’t stop until you’re directly in his line of vision.

Swallowing, you carefully extend your hand. The ruby color begins to crumble and give way to the vast ocean you might have drowned in one too many times. You lost track, blocking what you could out. Too real and intimate to accept for a realm that thrives off of inauthenticity and misfortune.

Homelander inhales harshly and you retreat, pupils hooking themselves to his. Searching for any sign you shouldn’t be right where you are.

Of course there are several; unfortunately, you are currently blind to them. Blind to everything but him.

That’s how it’s been for awhile, hasn’t it?

He has a habit of not granting you the luxury of time.

Quickly, he snatches your wrist and brings your palm flat against his cheek. He exhales, eyelids fluttering, nuzzling into you.

It’s so simple, yet it disarms you in ways you aren’t accustomed to.

Homelander basks in this chaste display of affection, and so do you, in awe of how enraptured he appears. Soaking you inside of his pores.

In turn, your cognizance reappears. You nearly topple over, realization infiltrating every part of you.

You’re not wearing a stitch.

A knock at the door startles you both. You glance over in that general direction and hear from the other side, “You’re on in fifteen, Homelander, sir!”

Gazing back up at him, you witness that same fire expand at a rapid rate. You use your other hand to bring him back down to reality, to ground him. It rests against his chest, delving into and cracking his ribs, flaying him open.

What strikes you is how vigorously his heart is beating. How you can feel it through his uniform.

This is how much you affect him. (Can you fathom that you’re only privy to a fraction?) Having evidence of the tiniest reciprocation drains you of any unwanted discomfort.

His fury subsides. You breathe out. He does, too.

“Go sit in your chair. I came here to do my job, after all.” The tenderness with which you speak seems to ease him further, his shoulders deflating with each word.

That aside, you’re playing with a lit match. You’re unsure who’s going to set who ablaze, but you’re willing to go down with this entire building to find out.

He does as he’s told, watching you the whole way like a mutilated mixture of a snarling cornered animal and a man fervently in love. He almost trips into his seat, not an ounce of grace in his gait.

Sacrificing his entire image just to get a glimpse of you.

Whipping his cape to the side, he sinks into the cushion. You get things ready as you typically do, your movements a bit jittery from the adrenaline sending haphazard jolts to your limbs. Despite this, you’re focused. You are more focused than you remember ever being.

You work efficiently, keeping in mind the limit that’s been put on your time.

Homelander bores holes through you. He doesn’t need lasers for that. You’re exposed and vulnerable and he pries what he fostered apart until it’s distinguishable by no one else but him.

You relearn his perfectly manufactured features. Different lights shape shadows you either haven’t seen before or feigned ignorance of. You commit to memory how he looks, smells, feels, the side of your hand grazing his cheek and hanging on.

He’s invigorating, your excitement building to a crescendo you can’t neglect. The heat in your core disperses, most of it congregating low in your belly and behind your expanding rib cage. His pupils drink you in, urgently and violently.

Your arousal is heady. He licks his lips. A hint of a whine caresses your ears and it makes you dizzy.

How could you have ever denied yourself?

You decide to take further control, testing the waters to a greater extent.

It’s your turn to watch him the whole way down. You straddle him, easing yourself atop his taut thighs.

After a few moments of humoring yourself, of pretending to concentrate on your work, dusting his nose with powder, you straighten. Eye contact has not been severed.

You motion toward his hands, balled into tense, repressed fists at his sides.

“Take off your gloves.”

Initially, it feels like maybe you said the wrong thing, or said it the wrong way. He doesn’t budge. You’re patient, however, so you wait like you’ve always done, the warmth from your cunt mingling with the hardness beneath you. Your mouth waters.

At last, Homelander nods and removes his gloves, tugging on the index of each. He places them on the armrests and transfixes himself to you once more.

“Do you want to touch me?” you ask, voice and body staying impossibly still in spite of your nerves.

Immediately, he shakes his head, “Yes,” the first time he’s spoken since your outburst, and without hesitation, reaches for your chest. You close your eyes, falling into his snooping lifts and tugs and squeezes, giving yourself permission to become possessed by the inhibited imaginations of how selfish, how rapacious his touches might be. How smooth his bare hands are, how ardent each digit is.

Leaning into you, he sucks one nipple into his mouth and palms the other, moaning and vibrating against your flesh. He digs his fingers into the pliant softness of your hip, steadying you with disciplined pressure. You squirm, attuned to every minuscule shift.

The lit match is tilted toward you now, swift and stunning. Your fingers release the brush you’ve been holding. It aligns with the slit of the cushion, forgotten and purposeless.

You wrap your digits around the hand on your curves and guide him toward your throbbing center. He doesn’t fight you. Doesn’t stop your movements. Doesn’t scold or challenge you. Instead, he curls his fingers in a way that makes you unabashedly moan, cupping your folds and pinning his thumb to your clit, adapting to your anatomy.

Your wants.

It seems like breaking away from you is a daunting task, but he does for a moment, brow furrowed, more engrossed and invested than you’ve ever witnessed.

“Fuck.” The curse sounds downright edible, your new favorite flavor. Your name tumbles from his lips like he’s been practicing, a sweet, rich icing on top. You gasp, his tongue adhering to you again, swirling around your peak before lightly biting it.

Rocking your hips back and forth, side-to-side, you grind hard into his palm. He strokes you like he’s studied what pace you prefer, how much friction you crave. You’re so wet, even you’re thrown off by it.

Once he’s finished with your chest, he’s back against the seat, unable to peel his gaze from you. Your full, swollen, glistening breasts.

His mouth hangs open, obscene, desperate whimpers slipping from it. Pupils are like whirlpools that drive you under. Drive you mad.

Homelander adeptly slips two, three digits inside your sopping cunt, unrelenting in his intentions to make up for lost time. The voracity of his actions propels you forward, balancing against his chest. He grasps and pulls at your other hip, groaning loudly in your ear, confirming his approval of how close you are to him.

It’s still not enough.

Pulling you even tighter to his blinding sun of a body, he encloses his free arm around you and desperately bucks his waist. “I want… I want… I want…” he chants. Your nails drag up his neck and along his scalp, overwhelmed by his warmth, his scent, him. Your lips ghost the sliver of skin above his collar, making him growl.

You anticipate and dread and yearn for what’s been building for so long. You clench and release, clench and release, clench and release, body chanting with him.

You’re intuitively thankful for the chair’s sturdiness; however, if it would have collapsed, you’re honestly not sure you would have noticed. Or cared.

You hear him come first. Feel the temperature rise temporarily. It’s so sudden and all-consuming that you naturally follow, his name an instinct you can’t help but divulge. You haven’t come down from the turbulent emotions rushing through you earlier, and that combination catapults you over the edge.

Your orgasm draws more deliberate, vehement grunts and sighs of satisfaction from him, as if your pleasure is inexplicably the same or worth more than his.

You can’t crumple into a boneless heap like you want to. You just can’t. You have to look at him. Look at his bliss; the glazed, barren-yet-so-full-of-you expression, of what these months of working in close quarters have done to him.

What you uncover is not what you were picturing. There’s a mixture of that haze with something almost apologetic below the teeming surface. Clouds of red to skies of blue. Destructive in and of themselves.

Sliding his fingers from your wetness, he wraps his lips around each one that was inside of you and spreads them apart. Your slick sticks to his glossy skin and stretches between digits, a generous amount. You whimper at the loss- the emptying, hollow feeling- and watch, mesmerized and delirious as he savors you.

Swallowing you whole, Homelander sweeps his knuckles across the apple of your cheek and presses his lips hard against yours. He wastes no time inhaling your gasps and moans, licking your mouth and the faint taste of mint, stealing it from you. You ingest what you can of him as well, exploring what was open to you longer than you realized.

He then seizes your wrists. It’s a rough gesture that evaporates into gentle circles along your pulse points. Still, you know you’re going to bruise where he turned the key and locked you into place: wherever he is.

A visible sheen coats his lips.

“I want you to tell me I’m good. Great. The best.”

His breathing is labored. So is yours.

He kisses the inside of the wrist smeared with perfume, your fluids, his saliva; ends with your hand and rests his cheek against the slope of it.

“I want you to be mine. All mine. Mine alone.”

You’re shaking. He moves forward and pets your hair, twirls it; grabs your nape and holds his thumb to the front of your throat. Securing you. Keeping you there.

“You have to stay. Be mine and stay.”

You thrum with an ache he forced upon you. He’ll claim you were starving and he was the only one who could satiate.

You nod. You were never going to leave to begin with.

Homelander made you his. And you thanked him for it.

#homelander #homelander x reader #the boys #antony starr #my writing #let me see you stripped down to the bone #oneshot #god it feels so good getting this out #i’ve been going through a painful writer’s block so 🥹#thank you everyone who helped and anyone who reads #this is my first full-fledged homelander fic so i’m a bit nervous but! very excited 🖤#love you all 🥰

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frail-and-freakish · 1 year

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today, april 11th, is the anniversary of Mel Baggs' death. Mel Baggs was one of the early founders of the neurodiversity movement and believed that no one was too disabled for human rights, something that modern nd movements fail to understand to this day. sie was so instrumental to my understanding of literally everything. sie died from medical ableism and neglect during the beginning of the pandemic. we would be nowhere fucking near where we are now without hir. i've decided to make a masterlist of some of my favorite posts of hirs, organized into different categories.

(some of these are listed in more than one category because they overlap so much)

here are some of the "essentials" (what you might have already read by hir/should read first):

hir memorial site hosted by ASAN:

In My Language

the oak manifesto

There is ableism at the heart of your oppression, no matter what your oppression might be

Getting The Truth Out (many pages, parody of bad autism awareness campaign called "getting the word out")

the meaning of self-advocacy

what makes institutions bad

aspie supremacy can kill

here are some of hir beautiful writings on perceiving/communicating with hir environment as an autistic person, and on communication in general:

up in the clouds and down in the valley: my richness and yours

distance underthought

the naked mechanisms of echolalia

empty mirrors and redwoods

the fireworks are interesting

hir tumblr tag #sensing (@withasmoothroundstone)

on personhood and who has the authority to take it away:

being an unperson

what it means to be real

empty mirrors and redwoods

on institutions and the I/DD service system:

caregiver abuse takes many forms

"i don't know that person's program"

what my home means to me

dd service system tag

god help the critic of the dawn: glamour and its fallout

what makes institutions bad

post on the JRC

outposts in our heads

on online social justice communities/their inaccessibility:

Your politics have a problem when they contradict the real-life experiences of the people they're supposed to be about.

politics, ethics and mental widgets

hir tumblr tags #outside the wall and #little packages (@withasmoothroundstone)

misc:

The Bones My Family Gave Me

Please violate only one stereotype at a time

My sort of people, just as real as theirs.

Reviving the concept of cousins

gender tag

this is hir poems and creative works:

this is hir writing on autistics.org:

may hir memory be a blessing/revolution.

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queen-of-weird-girl-nation · 3 months

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A Jason Grace Analysis

While my Jason fics relies on mainly interpretation and headcanons, this one’s mostly going on the limited list of Jason’s life from the books. YOU’RE ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH ME,JUST DO IT RESPECTFULLY IN THE COMMENTS. be nice pls.

Spoiler alert 🚨 (for PJO, HOO and TOA)

Jason Grace is a character who was, in a way, screwed over by Rick during his writing of Heroes of Olympus and eiDzgventually Trials of Apollo. His story was very sad, but never explored to its fullest potential and in some cases didn’t make sense. He’s a character who is seen as ‘boring’ by the fandom, which , in a way, makes sense. Uncle Rick didn’t do him justice, so I’m here for a Jason Grace analysis.

Firstly, Jason’s incredibly depressing life. Because I do not know what vendetta that Rick had against my boy, but I would argue his story is the most tragic of everyone in the books. Yes. Even Nico.

Jason’s mother was an unhinged alcoholic who was obsessed with fame. For the first 2 years of his life, he was basically looked after by his sister, who was also a young child. As hard as Thalia tried, she probably wasn’t the best caregiver on account of her age. His mother was unstable, which has got to leave some scars, even if you’re a young kid, because you still know what’s going on to some extent. And Jupiter seemed to leave the family to their own devices after a while, not even staying for a kid. So Jason has been basically abandoned, keep track of how often that happens.

Then Jason was abandoned again, this time by his mother, left as a sacrifice for Hera. And he wasn’t sacrificed just anywhere, he was left at the Wolf House, where Lupa tested him to see if he was ‘pup or food’. So Jason, at two years old, was tested by a Wolf Goddess, a ruthless one at that, who threatened to kill him if he didn’t live up to expectations. Just a great environment for a toddler to live in. And while the time he spends in the Wolf House is unspecified, the general consensus is that it was for a year or two. This is more of a headcanon, but the implications of ‘pup or food’ could show that he stayed with her longer than the average Roman demigod. In SoN, it’s shown that most demigods do their Wolf House training for like, a week. And the training sounds harsh when Percy, age 16 does it. So imagine a 2 year old, going through that, constantly. Then he is off to New Rome.

In HoO, it’s pointed out that Jason has 12 lines of his forearm for his years of service in New Rome. 12 lines representing 12 years of service.

Jason has been serving 12 years of military service since he was around 3. So that means that this literal infant is just… in the military. How does that work? Was baby Jason just running around in little armour? Was he doing the same drills as other kids when he was much, much younger? Also the fact that in Camp Jupiter, you train for 10 years, then go to live in New Rome. But Jason has been serving for longer than that, with 2 extra years. It seemed like he wasn’t going to retire anytime soon in the books, so that also adds some mystique to his character that was never explored.

Then we move into the other things at Camp Jupiter, which is that Jason was treated like a statue or a star, instead of a person. Hazel says that he is ‘more legend than boy’ which is so sad! This kid, this 15 year old is seen by those around him as a hero, a legend to look up to. Did Jason have any other friends? While Reyna seems to be close, Reyna had a crush on him, and while he didn’t know that, it must have made the friendship a bit… different. Jason isn’t specified to have any other friends in the books, probably because everyone was to in awe of his status as a Son of Jupiter. And while Jason may care about the rules, in Roman terms he was a very radical person. He was just trying to live a calm life, to not be known only as the Son of Jupiter. He joins the least respected cohort. He tries to take less important quests. But it doesn’t work, because he does get assigned big quests and while he is in the 5th cohort, people still treat him like a legendary hero instead of just a guy. And while the phrase ‘victim of nepotism’ is quite controversial, I think that Jason actually fits that bill.

Then we come to SoN. You know that tweet that’s like: hey we’re calling off the search party. we found a different guy out there we like more. That’s what Camp Jupiter did to Jason. Again, he was abandoned, this time by his own Camp. Like I know 8 months is a while, but oh my gosh, do we have to elect a new praetor? There’s also a contradiction. Percy is a Greek demigod, which isn’t a thing the Roman’s really like. Yet after a couple weeks at Camp, he’s already a PRAETOR? While Jason was put down for being ‘unrecognisable as a Roman’, they elected a very Greek person as a praetor? He was immediately accepted into the highest position of power? Also the fact that Jason wasn’t looked for. At all. While CHB was scrambling to find their boy (as they should), no one in CJ cared? Like, aren’t they the ones with the giant searching eagles? It seemed like everyone forgot about him, with him being missing not being a huge thing for most people (except Hazel and Reyna to my memory, fill me in if anyone else gave two frogs) and that’s gotta sting. The knowledge that your entire camp not only replaced you, but didn’t bother to look.

Jason also had amnesia and never regained huge chunks of his memory. That must be horrible, to have parts of your life gone, to not remember much. While Percy got everything back, Jason got so much less!

Jason goes on the quest, then comes back. He goes to CHB, goes to school. He starts having a normal life. And he gets broken up with, making him genuinely sad. And while I know that Piper had no ill intentions whatsoever when she broke up with him, that also could count as an abandonment. Because they don’t really keep in touch in the book, they seem to go their separate ways. So kinda half of an abandonment, even though both parties weren’t in blame.

Finally we have his death. While Thalia got turned into a tree by Zeus, a slightly caring act for a god, Jason died. This could be because Jupiter is crueller than Zeus or it could be because of the cycle of patricide, with Jupiter killing his father, who did the same to his father. Maybe it’s because of his paranoia. Maybe it’s because Jason called Jupiter unwise, but it still counts as an abandonment. The god saved Thalia (she could be seen as non threatening, not a killer. Not someone who could carry on the tradition of son killing father) and abandoned Jason, left him to die the ‘heroes death’.

Jason’s life has been one big struggle and rejection. 4.5 times, he was abandoned, left somewhere by someone. Left to die in the end. He was a child soldier, meaning that he was a kid that never got to be a kid, just a tool for the gods, for years and years. And he struggled with making friends, making new rules, trying to push the camp into the future. Seen as unroman, even Reyna says it. That’s an awful life, one that Rick Riordan never explored and one that’s contradicted at times.

Jason was a character that Rick dropped the ball on so hard.

Because, while his life is incredibly difficult, it has so much potential for storytelling, that Rick dashes on the rocks, leaving the fandom with a character who people acknowledge as weak and boring.

So, in the fandom, Jason is regarded as having no personality, or being a knock off Percy. So, Jason not really having a huge personality, as a kid who trained as a soldier from a young age, makes sense. He was spending half his childhood trying to survive so trying to figure out what MBTI type he was may have fallen low on his list of priorities. Then he got amnesia, and sent on the Seven quest. So Jason not having time to develop a sense of personality makes sense, buts here’s the catch. It’s never explored. Rick never, ever explains why that might be happening, which could make for a compelling story arc. Rick never expands on the child soldier thing at all, which sucks because instead of Jason having an identity crisis about Greek and Roman camps, he could be really weird since he’s a child soldier. (I’m aware that they’re all child soldiers, but I refer to Jason as child soldier since he was just a baby when he started)

And the seeds were there. For example, the scene with Jason being wary about Nico and not wanting to rescue him, that could have been Jason being taught that practicality is key. That some people are expendable. He could have learnt that from the ARMY THAT HE GREW UP IN. That could have been a plot point, that Jason struggles with taking breaks or knowing that’s he’s appreciated, that his childhood was abusive and not normal, that life isn’t a constant battle for survival. That could have been his arc! All of the pieces were right there! Rick, dude, you’re a great author, but you fumbled so hard on this one!

And also the fact that… unpopular opinion time….

Jason wasn’t stronger than Percy, but he should have been.

Jason has been in the army since he was a toddler, and I know that Percy’s really powerful, but come on! Jason being this really nice, really powerful kid with super strong powers and no social skills could have slayed. Maybe this is the inner Jason stan in me, but I personally think that Jason should have been stronger than Percy, simply because it makes more sense. Jason has been training for ages and ages, he single handedly fought a Titan at younger than Percy (around 14 or 15) so it seemed like his powers were muted by Rick. This could probably be because the PJO fandom is like a toxic TikTok boy mom when it comes to Percy (I can be like this too), making him centre stage and getting annoyed when he isn’t. Percy is meant to be the strongest, which isn’t bad, in some situations it just doesn’t fit. Or maybe Percy’s just wildly OP.

This is not to say that in the book Jason was weak, but people treat him like that.

And Jason’s really sad life is never explored! He should have been struggling with 1500 mental illnesses at once because that constant abandonment? The stress of everyone’s expectations? Trying not to die at like 4? He’s neither the eldest nor a girl, but he’s got so much eldest daughter syndrome and is burnt out gifted kid syndrome personified. And it’s hardly touched on!

There’s also the fact that’s a really small nitpick, but, the fact that Jason only has 1 single lip scar? That shows that Rick wasn’t paying attention to his own character. Jason trained with the Wolf Goddess then was in the army, he should be covered in them.

In conclusion, Jason’s very sad and tragic story was hardly utilised and the very interesting parts of his character were not used in a way they could be. But don’t worry Jason. While Rick Riordan may have flopped you, you are one of my favourite characters.

Peace ☮️

#jason grace #camp jupiter #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #riordanverse #percy jackson #jason grace my child #my child <3 #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo fandom #rick riordan #long post

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probablyasocialecologist · 10 months

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“The ‘war on drugs’ may be understood to a significant extent as a war on people. Its impact has been greatest on those who live in poverty, and it frequently overlaps with discrimination directed at marginalised groups, minoritiesand Indigenous Peoples. In our reporting and experience, we have found that such discriminatory impact is a common element across drug policies with regard to the widest range of human rights, including the right to personal liberty; freedom from torture, ill-treatment and forced labour; fair trial rights; the right to health, including access to essential medicines, palliative care, comprehensive drug prevention and education, drug treatment, and harm reduction; the right to adequate housing; freedom from discrimination and the right to equal treatment before the law; right to a clean, healthy and sustainable environment; cultural rights and freedoms of expression, religion, assembly and association. Globally, drug control has had massive costs for the dignity, humanity and freedom of people of African descent, with reports showing that people of African descent face disproportionate and unjust law enforcement interventions, arrests and incarceration for drug-related offences. In various countries, the ‘war on drugs’ has been more effective as a system of racial control than as a tool to reduce drug markets. Policing interventions based on racial profiling remain widespread, whilst access to evidence-based treatment and harm reduction for people of African descent remains critically low. Around the world, women who use drugs face significant stigma and discrimination in accessing harm reduction programmes, drug dependence treatment and basic health care. Although one in three people who use drugs are women, women constitute only one in five people in treatment. Women are also disproportionately affected by criminalisation and incarceration, with 35% of women in prison worldwide having been convicted of a drug-related offence compared to 19% of men. The causes of women’s interaction with the criminal justice system in relation to drugs are complex, often linked to other factors such as poverty and coercion, and may reflect systemic gender inequality in society more broadly. Of note, most women in prison for drug related offences have little education. Under international law, States that have not yet abolished the death penalty may only impose capital punishment for the ‘most serious crimes’, meaning crimes of extreme gravity involving intentional killing. Drug offences clearly do not meet this threshold. However, drug-related offences are still punishable by death in over 30 countries, and human rights experts have raised concerns about evidence of its discriminatory impact on individuals belonging to minorities. Everyone without exception has the right to life-saving harm reduction interventions, which are essential for the protection of the right to health of people who use drugs. However, according to UN data, only 1 in 8 people with drug dependence have access to appropriate treatment, and the coverage of harm reduction services remains very low. The situation is particularly critical for women, LGBTIQ+ persons, and other marginalised groups, for whom harm reduction and treatment services may not be adapted or respond to their specific needs. Women and LGBTIQ+ persons also face even higher levels of stigma, including self-stigma, and discrimination than men who use drugs.

As the world grows older, drug use among people over 65 has also increased. The COVID-19 pandemic had a negative impact on the health and well-being of older persons, and studies show an increased use of pain relievers, tranquillizers, and sedatives among this age group. Older drug users are also more often using the dark web, social media, and online forums to obtain illicit substances resulting in a rise of drug-related deaths among older populations. The criminalisation of substances traditionally used by Indigenous Peoples such as the coca leaf can also result in the suppression, undermining and marginalization of traditional and indigenous knowledge systems and medicine, which has wide-ranging health impacts and is rooted in discriminatory hierarchies and conceptions. Forced eradication of crops, including through the aerial spraying of highly hazardous pesticides, can cause serious harm to the environment and clean water, as well as to the health and welfare of Indigenous communities. Indigenous Peoples that might be affected by these and other drug control operations must be meaningfully consulted, and guarantees should be given that their lives, cultural practices, lands and natural resources are not violated. Criminal laws and the punitive use of administrative and other sanctions stigmatise already marginalised populations. Criminalisation results in significant barriers to access to health services (including those for HIV and palliative care) and in other human rights violations. As called for by the UN system Common Position on drug-related matters, drug use and possession for personal use should be decriminalised as a matter of urgency. Drug use or dependence are never a sufficient justification for detaining a person. Compulsory drug detention and rehabilitation centres need to be closed and replaced with voluntary, evidence-informed, and rights-based health and social services in the community.

#drugs #war on drugs #prohibition

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ducknewtonscoolhat · 6 months

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On this day I present

Every single time Duck Newton is horrible at lying !

Episode 7

Duck: Yeah, it’s a nickname. Listen, y’all got a van handy, why don’t you hop in and get on trucking. Don’t forget to— don’t worry ‘bout your clothes. We’ll drive them up seperate.

Swimmer: Why can’t we take our clothes?

Duck: [freezing up] You need to— you need— uh. Here, I’ll get them. Y’all start loading in the van and I’ll bring your clothes out to ya’s. Just another one of the many services we offer from the Forestry Service.

Episode 10

Pigeon: Well, I know how to do it, I just wanna know why.

Duck: Perfect. Perfect. Why? It's for firefighter training? Yeah, it's for firefighter training. It's been a little while since I last told someone that, so I had some time to forget it. But it's for firefighting training, cuz we can't get enough water pressure to fight the fires, forest fires.

Pigeon: Out in Monongahela?

Duck: Yeeeeeeep.

Pigeon: Duck, that's on the opposite side of town. I can find other places that I can get you some more water pressure instead of pumping it out of the water park almost a mile away.

Duck: Yeah, but the water park is definitely gonna be closed. If you can tell me somewhere where you can guarantee that they're not gonna need that amount of water that's using that amount, I'd love to hear about it. Cus, off the top of my head, I can't improvise anything.

Pigeon: There's a reservoir right next to Monongahela.

Duck: The reservoir is a source of water but it's not gonna give other— fuck, listen Pigeon, here's the thing. I... love... to… practice fishing. But... the running water... frightens me, it's called hydrophobia. And I would love to practice my cast in a real water environment where I can get in a large body where I can guarantee that running water won't be a factor. And I would just love to practice my cast in a guaranteed still body. But here's the other thing, sometimes if you do it in a lake, that's what you're thinking, a fish will bite it and normally that's ideal, but I'm just trying to practice casting. It's like, when you don't want to catch, that's when they're biting, y’know what I mean? So I need a still body of water that I can guarantee won't move to practice my fishing casting.

Episode 13

Duck: I should’ve put some time into it, honestly, but I uh… I was real busy with family over the holidays, so I didn’t make much—

Mama: You literally just said you didn’t have any family in town over the holidays.

Duck: God dammit. Dammit!

Mama: I mean, it’s fine if you couldn’t dig anything up, but you don’t gotta lie to old Mama, you know?

Duck: Dammit! Dammit, Duck!

Mama: You don’t have to beat yourself up about it, Duck, I mean po—

Duck: Fuck!

Episode 14

EMT: Do you know what happened to him?

Duck: Oh boy…um…do you want the truth or a more convincing lie? Um, nah so, okay, right… so the Pizza Hut sign started to fall, ‘cause of the weather, and he ran up there on… a fire escape… and tried to push it? …With a bat? Damn it. Nah, he just pushed it, and it fell, but then he fell ‘cause he got shocked. I bet… mmm…I didn’t see. I was in-Ah, shit! Alright, hey fol-hey guys, rewind. I-hey guys, rewind a second. Ah fuck! I was inside, I didn’t see. Anything! I don’t know… this man. I do know this man. His name-Fuck! Alright, I Ned, hi, here's-hmmm. Alright, so this man’s name is Ned, and he’s a friend of mine, and I don’t know what the hell happened to him, but you know this guy. He’s always getting into something. I don’t know, I was in the building, I almost got killed by a Pizza Hut sign. I might be in shock!

Episode 18

Duck: Honestly… uh if I gotta tell you the truth, Juno, I’m— I was trying to get into character. I’ve been—

Juno: You’re going undercover with these teens?

Duck: —I’m going undercover. I got a undercover teenage identity. It’s— it’s Frick Richums and when I assume the identity of Frick Richums, I’m trying to get undercover, with the Hornets [hisses] so I can find their illegal grow thing. [grunts]

Juno: You are a truly miserable liar, Duck Newton.

Duck: Goddamnit! I put on such a good— damnit!

Juno: Hey, when you’re finished with the… with those, those nails. Would you mind taking them back to the station? I need to sort of keep going around the perimeter see if I can find something to, you know, maybe help with your investigation to take down those— those drug kingpins, the Hornets.

Duck: Yeah, Juno, about that. I— I was kidding about that, of course. I was just having some fun. But I did… I did hear some of them talking on...... Facebook about you and how they were gonna target you. Like they need to get you out of the way. And it kinda freaked me out a little bit. Can you think of any reason anybody would wanna get you… outta the way? Or— or be targeting you? Like… for this?

Episode 21

(Deputy Dewey is asking for alibis)

Duck: Me— Me— Me too.

Deputy Dewey: You too what? You were

Duck: Yup.

Deputy Dewey: Alright…

Duck: Me too. I was— Yup, I— Yup, me too, for both. Yup, me too. Mmm…

Aubrey: Duck, are you okay? You look like you need to use the bathroom.

Duck: Nope. Yeah, I do. Yup. Uh, Burritos, alright… Bye.

Episode 22 Featuring Ned and Aubrey also being bad at lying

Morgue Technician: Can I help y'all with something?

Duck: Well, we would like to see the bodies of--

Aubrey: My brother!

Duck: My dad.

Ned: My son.

Duck: His brother. Her-- His-- His son, her brother, my dad.

Aubrey: Not related. There's two of 'em.

Ned: But you have to figure out which two.

Duck: We need to see a body for a dare. I'm sorry about all the lies from before but we need to see a body for a dare.

Aubrey: I was dared to look at the body of my brother.

Ned: And my son.

Aubrey: I was dared to look at the body of his son. Who is also my brother. Because he is my father.

Episode 32

Duck: Um… yup. It‘s… Harpo. Uh, all… [imitating crackling noise] Y‘all hearing this? [imitating crackling] The… radio break up. Radio break up. Mrrr.

#taz amnesty #duck newton #the adventure zone #duck newton fan account #taz

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0097linersb · 9 months

Text

Meddle About Pt.2 (Last)

Pairings: Haechan x Reader / Jeno x Reader (Briefly Mentioned)

Genre: Smut

Summary: Mark doesn’t think you or Haechan would have a problem with killing each other, not even bat an eye at it in fact.

Word count: 11.2k ish

A/N: I love y´all sorry this took so long. ALSO! FOLLOW ME ON MY NEW TWITTER @wooyodefender we can chat there

Part 1

“I don´t get it, you guys already fucked so why isn´t the bet ove-”

“We didn´t fuck,” You and Haechan corrected a confused Jisung at the same time, except the two of you had very different tones when delivering the message.

“Are you just letting anyone watch now because I´m intere-”

“I´m begging you to not finish that sentence,” Jeno interrupted Jaemin, rubbing his face harshly out of stress. You gently touched Jeno´s hands so he would stop stretching his skin, looking out for any future wrinkles on that pretty face.

The chaotic scene definitely didn´t match your current environment - which consisted of a breakfast place, one of those where the cooks look like they haven´t showered in weeks, piles of waffles, bacon and the shittiest coffee you have ever tasted filling the tables. The restaurant was full of families with loud annoying kids running around - Maybe Donghyuck could go play with them. It was hell, but hey, that was hangover brunch.

Maybe it was the universe´s way of punishing you for allowing whatever happened with Donghyuck to... well, happen.

“I´m just glad the two of you are finally getting along,” Mark tried changing the subject, smiling at his best friends who for the first time looked like they weren´t going to punch each other at any given moment.

“We are absolutely not,” But you were more than happy to burst his bubble. “In fact, I have never been more disgusted by Donghyuck before.”

“That´s not what you sa-”

You interrupted Haechan with a fake smile, using your best customer service voice to not upset Mark so early in the morning as you stabbed your pancakes, “You can shut the fuck up now, thank you.”

“So, he slept over and no sex?” Chenle teasingly pushed his friend as he laughed in his face. “You really have no game - ”

“Speaking of which: Mark, please control your bitch, she made me sleep on the couch without a pillow or a blanket.”

“I should have kicked you out to sleep on the street, you fucking -”

“Ok, enough! It´s only Monday and I´m still too hungover to deal with you two,” Mark rolled his eyes, rubbing circles into his temples.

“So, when are you fucking?” Jisung asked, returning to the original topic where his single neuron was still parked at.

You groaned and buried your face in Jeno´s shoulder, the man gently patting your head to calm you down, “Can we all please stop reminding me of that?”

“Probably this Saturday or the next,” Haechan ignored you.

“Do we have it freaking scheduled? Ew.”

“Why? Did you want me sooner?” The man teased you, an annoying fake pout on his face. “Awn, someone´s eager.”

Jeno had to physically hold you back from smacking Haechan down after his comment, “I would rather bungee jump without the -”

“What a cliché, Y/N. You can do better than that-”

“Let´s not speak on the subject until then,” Mark cut you off, his tone was strict and final.

★

Somehow, as if it was even possible, Haechan managed to become even more insufferable after the recent events. Firstly, because now that he knew you were slightly attracted to him – and also knew you were not happy about it - the man had massive leverage on your fights. Secondly, as previously stated, the thought of finding Haechan even remotely alluring had you wanting to take a nap on the highway during rush hour every time you caught yourself even considering his appearance, causing your stress levels to be significantly higher ever since. Lastly, if there is one thing Haechan has always been, is cocky, and now... Oh, now he was just unstoppable, and you hated yourself for thinking it was kind of hot.

Kind of.

But as equally annoying.

Now, you caught yourself staring at the man, lost in thought, more often than you´d like to admit, and he managed to catch you every-single-fucking-time, sending you an annoying wink like he was hot shit.

Which maybe he was.

You didn´t understand how he could accept being into you so easily when you wanted to throw up at the thought that maybe you were excited that he was going to fuck you some time soon. Before everything that went down, the two of you would just simply offend each other to your hearts 'desires, but now there was a sudden shift in your dynamic as he started hitting on you nonstop, which somehow managed to annoy you more than when he would call you the most degrading offensive things he could think of - which he could probably be arrested for if anyone from outside your group heard a minute of your conversations.

“You do know you´re going to die alone and miserable, right?” You asked him Thursday night, after only an hour and a half around him, figuring that was your time-around-Haechan limit.

“I don´t think I will,” He smiled at you, a condescending tone to his voice as he leaned back against his seat.

“Oh, I can assure you. No one can put up with you for long enough.”

“Everyone puts up with me just fine. Have you ever considered maybe you´re the problem?”

“As if- ”

“It´s ok baby, I´ll fix your attitude when I fu-”

“Can you two shut the fuck up and just never talk again?” Mark looked stressed as he reminded you and Haechan that you were not alone at the restaurant table. “I swear to God I´m going to start leaving one of you out from each group hang out.”

“It would be the best thing you have ever done,” You assured Mark.

“C´mon, I´d miss you,” Haechan sent you a flying kiss. “You´re nice to look at.”

“I will stab you in the eyes to assure you never look at me aga-”

“If any of you say another world I´ll drag you outside by the ear.”

You did shut up after that because you honestly felt kind of bad for Mark, he genuinely loved the two of you and you´ve been making his life hell by not getting along. At the same time, it´s not like you haven´t tried! When you first met Haechan, after only 5 minutes with him, you were already sure you disliked the man; but you made an effort for Mark, you spent weeks trying to make yourself grow any positive feelings towards Haechan, or just anything that didn´t involve strong wishes of strangling him, but the man never returned any of your efforts, always wanting to hog Mark all to himself and bad mouth you to the man, so you gave up -

Wait.

Donghyuck had really nice fucking hands.

Which you unfortunately noticed as he places more meat on the grill occupying the center of the table between your friends after Mark made the two of you change seats so you´d sit far away from each other. His fingers were just somehow very delicate and clean but manly at the same time, he had big hands and veins appearing through his skin, his long fingers adorned by rings – Did he always wear rings? Because they were surely doing something to you.

And with that thought process, you were suddenly reminded those fingers had been inside of you and you had to cross your legs to contain the very sudden and very fast pulsing that started between them. You let your forehead meet the table in a very loud thud as you groaned in frustration. Every day that passed made you despite Haechan a little bit more.

When the weekend did come, your group´s chaotic schedule didn´t allow you a time window to complete the second part of the bet, although you did meet. It was a common friend´s birthday, a small get-together at his place to celebrate another year and even though there were suggestions that you could finish the bet that night, you were absolutely not about to get fucked on Doyoung´s bed. Also, Haechan had some things to do and had texted the group chat he would be late to the party – Chenle had informed you Haechan had a date and you prayed to all gods out there that he would bring the girl along so he would leave you alone for once.

When he did show up though, he was in fact, unaccompanied. But the main point was that Lee Donghyuck, had dyed his hair a light shade of brown that had you wanting to swallow down your own fist. Ok, maybe you could fuck on Doyoung´s bed after all.

But Haechan´s leather jacket and rings stayed on during sex.

What?

No!

Fuck, maybe you just needed to get laid, it has been a while. Would Jeno mind taking whatever you had a step further?

“Hello friends,” Haechan greeted his friends before turning to you. “Hello stalker.”

“What? Why stalker?”

“I don´t know, the way you´re looking at me seems pretty obsessive,” He shrugged as he jumped over the couch to take a seat in front of you, who was sitting on the floor.

“You´re delusional.”

“It´s ok,” He assured you, accepting a drink from Doyoung who was walking around welcoming and giving everyone attention like a good host. “I like them crazy.”

“Because that´s the only crowd you can pull.”

“Let´s remember who was begging me just a week ago,” He winked at you before taking a sip from his glass, you along with all the boys around gagging at his comment.

“I thought we were forbidden from talking about the subject,” Jaemin informed.

“I did my best,” Mark sighed. “I give up on these two, just kill each other for all I care.”

Haechan and you managed to prove once again Mark´s repulsive argument that the two of you were basically the same person when you replied by asking at the exact same time, “Who would you rather survived?”

“Right now? I hope none of you.”

“Cold,” You pouted at Mark before turning to the other man. “C´mon, Donghyuck and I are besties, soon he will even give me his computer and his most precious hoodie. If that isn´t friendship I don´t know what is.”

“You really think you´ll win, huh?” At least Haechan looked amused.

“I don´t know, did you get your date there today?”

“What date?”

“Chenle said you were on a date.”

“He told me he had a date,” Chenle corrected.

“You mean I hanged out with a friend so she could dye my hair?”

“Same thing,” Chenle shrugged. “Didn´t you already fuck her before?”

“Yeah, but that doesn´t make it a date. We were at her hair salon – Wait,” Haechan stopped mid-sentence to look at you. “Awn, are you jealous?”

“Donghyuck, I´ll put this the nicest way that I can so Mark doesn't have a nervous breakdown: Why the hell would I be jealous?”

“I don´t know, there´s really no reason for it. If you want me just say so and I´m all yours-”

“Ok, I can´t take this anymore. I know Mark asked us to not talk about it and I was very happy to oblige but I have some matters to discuss,” You interrupted Haechan.

“Yeah, whatever,” Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Go for it, see if I care.”

“Let´s make a rule that when we reach the 4 minutes mark and Donghyuck has already lost, we have to stop everything immediately.”

“We can´t do that,” Jeno carefully informed you, already prepared for the murderous glare you sent his way.

“And why not?”

“Since we couldn´t bet on the same thing you two, we bet on how long Haechan would take,” Jaemin explained.

Oh, right. You remember very clearly betting on 6 hours because it was simply not going to happen. Jaemin, who went for the 12 minutes mark went as far as asking you to have at least some faith on his friend.

You could argue that now that you and Donghyuck had some form of sexual encounter, he already knew your body a bit better and that was kind of cheating, but then you reminded yourself that none of the guys knew what actually happened that night after the club and you´d rather leave it that way, so you simply sighed in defeat. It´s not like Haechan did much besides literally putting is fingers inside of you, so you guessed that didn´t really count either.

“Cheer up, princess. You´re about to have the time of your life,” Haechan smirked at you and you answered him by chugging your drink in misery.

For the rest of the night, you tried avoiding Donghyuck like the plague because if you thought about how his rings would feel around your neck one more time, you would be forced to punch the guy and cause a scene – You liked Doyoung enough to not do that on his birthday. It wasn´t a full-out house party, but there were enough people around to make it possible to stay far away from Haechan, at least for a while, until he decided he didn´t want to let you have a peaceful night after all.

And so you drank.

“Daydreaming about me?” He sat next to you on the couch. Jeno had left you alone for a single second to grab more beer for fuck´s sake.

“You wish.”

“I do, in fact.”

“Can´t you find literally any other girl to torment?”

“But it´s so fun annoying you, though,” He smiled. “You look hot when you´re mad.”

“Take your degradation kink elsewhere, thank you very much.”

“Will do, wanna come with?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“C´mon. We don´t have to fuck, you´ve been staring at my thighs the whole night, you could just ride them-”

“Oh my god, leave me alone.”

“Well, let me tell you something,” He informed before turning his body in your direction so that he could lower his voice, suddenly deep against your ear. “I appreciate your act, it´s cute, really. But there´s no one looking. If we go somewhere, we can come back, and no one would know a thing. You could stop pretending you haven´t been clenching at the thought of my fingers the whole week and I could do all the fun things I´ve been thinking about-”

You could sense his smirk at the way your body violently twitched. It was only once, but it was one time too many.

“Oh. Wanna know what things?” He teased.

You could just stand up and leave. But you didn´t really want to?

So you simply crossed your legs and took a deep breath to try and sort your mind out.

His chuckle hit the sensitive skin on your neck, “I´ll take that as a yes.”

And then his palm found your thigh once again, holding it from the inside like it was his, “I know we can´t actually fuck, but I think there are things that can be even more fun, don´t you? You know what I can´t stop thinking about ever since I´ve seen your pretty little pussy? How much I want to eat you out. You sound so good, I´d love nothing more than have you sitting on my face for hours-”

You took another shaky breath, nails digging deep into your own right thigh, “Donghyuck.”

“Yes?”

“I will go to the kitchen get another drink and you will let me.”

He laughed once again but retrieved his hand from your body, “You know where to find me.”

And unfortunately, you did, because later, after a few more drinks and 1 very frustrating hour of trying to focus on anything else other than your panties sticking to your skin, you found yourself grabbing Donghyuck´s arm to get his attention while he talked to some guys you didn´t know.

“Yes, princess?”

You ignored the pet name and everyone´s eyes on you for your own sake, “Can you please follow me?”

His cocky smile had you immediately regretting your impulsive choices, “Always.”

You groaned but accepted when he grabbed your hand and motioned for you to lead the way, which you did, practically running up the stairs so none of your friends would see you before getting the two of you inside a bathroom and locking the door.

“What do you want?” He amusedly raised his eyebrow at you, his body leaning against the bathroom sink now that you were alone and the music wasn´t so loud.

“Don´t pretend to be dense,” You called him out before pulling him down by his shirt so you could smash your lips together.

He smirked into the kiss before getting into it, wasting no time pressing you against the bathroom door as his tongue entered your mouth to match your desperation. When his hands found your hips to pull you closer, a moan escaped your lips and he groaned, his grip on you tightening enough to bruise your skin.

Your hands in turn found their way around his neck, pulling harshly on his hair so he would get the message and just do something before you regretted bringing him here. You didn´t need foreplay this time, you already had hours of your very creative mind flashing images and trying to drive you crazy, all you needed was someone´s fingers inside of you – And maybe they had to be Haechan´s.

Thankfully, Donghyuck somehow got the message and pulled your thighs up around his waist, so he could carry you over to the sink as you two practically devoured each other, like air wasn´t something necessary for human survival, but his lips sure were. You used your legs wrapped around him to grind his crotch against yours and he groaned at you, “Don´t play dirty.”

“Then do something.”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

“Do I?” He played dumb, suddenly stepping away from you like that was just perfect timing to be a fucking little tease. “I can go grab you a drink if that´s what you mean-”

“Good luck with that boner out there.”

“Yeah, gonna find someone I can actually fuck.”

“Oh my god, just fucking finger me please,” You groaned in surrender, letting your head hit the mirror behind you in frustration.

The biggest smirk filled his face as he closed the distance between you in satisfaction once again, eyes shining in victory, “That´s what I like to hear. Good girl.”

“Don´t be condescending.”

“C´mon, I know you like it,” He teased before his lips met yours once again.

He bit your bottom lip to be annoying before licking inside your mouth so you would let him do his thing – And since you had already thrown your dignity out the window an hour ago on Doyoung´s very elegant couch, you just let him. The man must have gathered how desperate you were from the way you were kissing him back, because he simply found your panties under your skirt and slid them right off with no ceremony, before his palms were pulling your thighs open and he found his place in between them.

“Hand,” He ordered.

For once, his voice didn´t sound like he was teasing you or playing around. It was just a plain order looming over you and you liked it, being able to forget who you were and who was standing in between your legs, your hand raising in front of him without even knowing what for. You watched in shock as he took two of his rings out and put them on your finger, before moving to the next one.

“Leave them on,” You quietly pleaded, kind of ashamed of yourself for liking the idea and not believing you actually said that out loud. It just escaped.

He smiled at your tone, “I´d love to, but these would really hurt.”

“Oh.”

“It´s ok, I´ll leave the ones on the other hand,” Haechan assured as he finished putting all his rings on you and his mouth met yours once again.

You always kind of expected that for a kiss to be good and effective, it needed to have a build-up, to start slow and make its way up – But Donghyuck had a way of reminding whoever he was kissing of how needy he made them in just a few seconds. His mouth was working so good against yours that it was almost a pity that you had to break the kiss to gasp as you felt two of his fingers gathering slick around your slit and when he felt like his fingers were lubricated enough, he slowly pushed them inside of you, you had to close your eyes and let your head meet the mirror again to process the feelings.

You see? He didn´t even have to do much and you were already so worked up, clenching around his fingers and hands holding harshly onto the sink. You were honestly scared of the power Donghyuck had over you and what he would do if he ever found it out.

When you opened your eyes, Haechan was watching your face attentively before moving his fingers slowly. He looked so fucking good with his new hair and dark eyes that even this rhythm to get you used to being filled got you biting on your bottom lip to keep your whines inside.

He noticed that and smirked, “C´mere,”

And so you complied, lips chasing his until your tongues met once again.

You had a theory that it´s not that Donghyuck was good in bed, you were just really horny. Your thought process made a lot of sense considering he never actually did anything to you besides looking hot while you actually did all the job – But you could throw your whole theory in the trash next to the sink once Haechan sped up his fingers.

You bit his lip to keep yourself grounded at the fact that the man in between your legs actually knew what he was doing and did it really well.

Shockers.

And you meant well enough that if he fucked anything like he fingered you, you were kind of screwed (at least when it came to the bet).

“It´s loud outside, don´t worry,” He smiled once you let go of his lip, noticing you were having a hard time keeping yourself together - and you really tried pretending he didn´t have the perfect rhythm, that his fingers weren´t hitting all the perfect spots, that his kisses down your neck as you caught your breath weren´t doing wonders for you, but it was a really hard task considering he was in fact making you feel all sorts of new things in this short amount of time.

When Haechan felt like you still weren´t letting yourself go, he bit harshly on the side of your neck and you couldn´t force inside the gasp that left your mouth.

“You know I won´t let you cum until I´m satisfied, stop being stubborn.”

“M-maybe you´re just not doing a-ah- good job.”

“Oh, sorry. My bad,” He apologized, but the smirk on his face, once he stood straight, didn´t match his tone nor his words. Suddenly his thumb was on your clit, drawing circles as he pumped his two other fingers inside and you almost came undone at the way he cockily winked at you when a loud moan escaped your lips.

“Oh, fuck-”

“Yeah, that´s more like it.”

“Just shut u-up,” You groaned as your nails found his shoulder, digging into his skin to try and keep yourself grounded as he sped up. You honestly didn´t feel like you would last very long under his ministrations and that just wouldn´t do.

“Want me to stop?”

“God- No!”

“Awn, look who´s finally not being a bitch.”

“Donghyuck, I swear to god-”

“What? What will you do, huh? Cum around my fingers? Threatening. Maybe next time do it on my tongue.”

You really didn´t need the imagery right now.

You closed your eyes and your forehead met his chest as you felt your high approaching, trying to conjure all your willpower to not cum and give Donghyuck the satisfaction of doing it so fast, but it was no use. Haechan had some kind of magic fingers and when his free hand found your neck and you could feel the cool rings pressed against your skin, along with his lips brushing against your open ones that just couldn´t keep quiet, you were done for.

Your whole body trembled as your cursed during the longest and hardest orgasm of your life, breaths mixed together.

Once you regained your sanity, you just had to suck Haechan off in return after that.

It was good manners after all.

★

You would be indeed lying if you said the bathroom incident didn´t occur more than once. Thankfully, you only allowed it to happen 3 times other than that one – 3 was a good number, you could forgive yourself for slipping 3 times. You could even argue that since he had already fingered you once, if he did it once or twenty times, it was the same thing, so it was not like it was going to impact on the bet.

Yeah, you knew it was bullshit but who cares.

The first time it happened, just like at the party, you were drunk. It was during trivia night, Donghyuck´s team was winning, and you were very unhappy about it. It´s not your fault that Mark was stupid and ended up on your team! By the time you got to the final questions, you were practically raging and somehow managed to beat them after getting 4 questions right in a row (once you got Mark distracted with something on your phone). After managing to rub your win in Haechan´s face in every way known to mankind, he got annoyed enough to drag you to the bar´s bathroom and “get you to shut up” as he so kindly put it.

The second time you couldn´t use alcohol as an excuse, although you could say you were high on the adrenaline of playing ranked matches online. It happened when you and Donghyuck were playing Valorant and after you cursed at him for the 30th time about sucking over the call, he finally snapped and told you to come say it to his face – Which you did, because he really did suck. What happened once you were in his house, in his room, was completely unexpected. No one could have guessed he would end up fingering you as you played another ranked match on your account, right?

The third time would have looked strangely like a 90´s parent trap kind of movie if you weren´t genuinely annoyed by the situation. You had invited Mark to watch the new horror movie at the cinema, Mark had agreed. Donghyuck had also invited Mark to watch the new horror movie at the cinema, Mark had agreed. Mark had also thought it was a good idea to not show up and not let either of you know about the other, resulting in a very angry surprise meeting at the movie theater´s door.

“I´ll just sit very far from you,” Haechan had groaned.

“Don´t be ridiculous,” You rolled your eyes, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him to your seats.

“Awn, you´re scared. Aren´t you?” He teased once you were sitting down, finally processing why you weren´t putting the many rows of distance between you two yourself.

“Yeah, very much. Now be quiet.”

“I will have to inform you I am scared too.”

“Oh, that´s just great. Do you even have anything to offer in life at this point?”

It was kind of expected that he would finger you during the movie after that.

★

“And who the fuck is that?” Donghyuck asked dumbfounded after you appeared in front of him, arm laced with another man´s. He earned an elbow on the ribs by Jaemin for his comment.

You rolled your eyes and apologized to your date before turning back to the very rude person in front of you once San reassured everything was ok, “Donghyuck, I know you were raised by animals or something, but here in the city we normally greet people when we see them.”

Haechan´s reaction must have been genuine shock because he was quick to apologize and give his hand out for San to shake as he introduced himself, even if he didn´t look anywhere close to happy.

“Oh, so this is San,” Donghyuck raised his eyebrows in entertainment.

Your date gave you the cutest smile once he heard those words, “You talked about me?”

You were not about to let Haechan ruin this for you and tell San that all you said about the man was that he didn´t fuck you and that was the exact moment that resulted in the stupid bet that will end up with the man in front of you fucking you instead – So you simply smiled at San, “Of course.”

“I didn´t know we could bring dates,” Donghyuck sent you a pointed look.

“You´re supposed to bring dates to these kinds of things, Hyuck. I´m sorry you couldn´t find anyone to put up with you.”

“Did your boytoy bring anyone?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

Both you and San gave him a confused look, not sure who he was talking about. Jaemin rolled his eyes and grabbed his arm to drag him away but he didn´t budge.

“Jeno,” Donghyuck clarified.

Oh, you see what he was doing.

And you were not about to give him the satisfaction.

“Jeno brought Karina,” You informed calmly, not playing his game. “As expected.”

“I see,” Haechan nodded before turning to your date. “Good luck filling the position then.”

You couldn´t even say you were surprised, of course he couldn´t let you have anything.

“Enjoy the party, Donghyuck,” You rolled your eyes before dragging San as far as possible.

“Well, that was something,” Your date tried to break the ice when he saw you breathing out in annoyance.

“I´m so sorry,” You sighed, calling over the waiter with the champagne tray. “Donghyuck´s insufferable.”

“Well, now I have to step up my game to fit the boytoy job description,” He smiled at you, getting two glasses from the tray and handing one to you.

“I´m sorry about that too,” You smiled in gratitude over the rim of the glass.

“It´s ok, it´s a position I´m more than happy to fill. Specially if it will make your friend even more jealous.”

“Oh, don´t worry. It´s not like that, I can assure you. He simply has something against my happiness, which is ok, because I also have something against his.”

“Yeah, I don´t think we´re close enough for me to comment on that so cheers,” He laughed, raising his glass in your direction.

You clinked glasses and laughed too; you loved a self-aware king.

Turns out San was a really great guy and you were happy you had invited him to be your plus one to this fancy party thing. He complimented your dress and makeup every hour, he got you new drinks whenever the ice on the ones you were holding started melting too much, he got along with your friends, he looked absolutely stunning and most importantly, he kept you entertained. He also didn´t back down whenever you were at the table with the whole group and Haechan tried teasing him, politely putting the man back in his place – which really, was more attractive than anything.

“Things going well, huh?” Jeno asked as you two met at the bar. San was in the middle of an excited discussion about music with Jisung, so you offered to get the drinks this time.

“Very, actually.”

“Think things are finally going to escalate tonight or are we thinking boyfriend?” The man teased. See? He could tease you just fine because you knew he actually cared.

“We still haven´t even kissed, so I don´t really think I´m about to get railed,” You laughed, lowering your voice a bit so the bartender and people around wouldn´t hear your vulgar words as you waited for the drinks.

“Well, you can always call Haechan over to complete the bet.”

“I´m not that desperate.”

“By the way he looks like he´s going to murder San anytime, I think he is. Always knew all this tension between you two had to be something more.”

“Yeah, I wouldn´t dwell too much on it. Sometimes people just don´t like each other, Donghyuck´s just bothered he´s not the center of attention tonight.”

“He´s bothered he´s not the center of your attention.”

“Guess I´ve spoiled him too much, huh? How´s Karina, anyway?”

“Still working on wooing her.”

“You wooed her the first time you talked to her, Jeno. Don´t worry, she wouldn´t be here if it wasn´t the case.”

“Well, since it didn´t work on you my game has been a little off balanced.”

You laughed at his teasing but didn´t have time to reply as the bartender came back with your two drinks and Jeno´s. The two of you thanked the man and made your way back to the table and Jeno was right, Haechan did look like he wanted to murder San. Once his staring was getting too much, you kicked him under the table and he simply gave you an annoyed look before turning his attention back to your date, who was oblivious to the stares. Or at least pretended to be.

Tired of Donghyuck´s attitude, you asked San if he wanted to dance and he was more than excited to stand up and offer you his hand like a real gentleman, before leading the way to the dancefloor. Sadly for you, the fancy ballroom didn´t offer any ass shaking music, but San being the dancer he was, had no trouble leading you in his arms.

“I do have to say things are spinning a bit,” You laughed, commenting on your many drinks.

“Yeah, I think that last Whiskey was a bit too much. Are there really that many chandeliers or am I seeing things doubled?”

“I think both.”

★

As expected, San didn´t rail you that night. But he did kiss you goodnight once he dropped you off at home and your heart was happy enough with that.

Haechan also ignored you the week following the gala, you even tried sending him an invitation on Valorant when you saw he was online on Saturday but he never answered, same when you sent him a slightly offensive meme on Whatsapp, expecting him to offend you back.

Well, guess you were living the dream.

When the next weekend came around with no acknowledgment from Haechan, you figured he finally had enough of you and was over with your little frenemies routine, meaning the bet was also over. You were fine with that. What you weren´t fine with was with the fact that he got you used to having the best fucking orgasms of your life and now you were left high and dry.

Life also wasn´t as much fun when you didn´t have anyone to try and beat at everything.

So with no thoughts in mind, you put on your hottest outfit for group outing that night, even going as far as putting on the skirt Haechan always teased you about because you knew he liked it too much. You kind of expected him to not show up after icing you out for weeks, but there he was when you got to Jaemin´s house and he simply treated you as if absolutely nothing had happened.

“Awn, wore this skirt for me?” He asked as soon as you sat down next to him on the couch.

You were so surprised at him suddenly referring to you after weeks, that your eyes were wide when you asked, “You talking to me now?”

“I was never not talking to you.”

“Donghyuck, of course you were.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.”

“Yeah?” He entertained; his face petulant. “And since when am I supposedly ignoring you?”

“Since the gala with San, you-”

“Oh, I see. You want me to be jealous so you´re projecting.”

“That´s not- What in the gaslighting?”

“Don´t worry, princess. I wasn´t ignoring you, was just busy.”

“I saw you online when I was playing Valorant.”

“Yeah, I saw your invitation. But you see, you´re just really bad and I was playing with the guys from college.”

“So you two talking again?” Jaemin interrupted.

“See?” You told Donghyuck as you pointed to your other friend to prove your point, downing a shot of tequila as frustration started to build up on you.

“Just shut up and drink,” He rolled his eyes against his own shot glass.

Well, guess you could say things were normal after all.

“So, the bet,” Jisung brought up and everyone around the table groaned. “What? It was supposed to end like weeks ago, I kind of impulsively bought tickets to a Monster Truck show counting on that money!”

“As if you would win,” Chenle attacked. “But he´s right, we really need to get this over with.”

“We don´t need to do anything. Very easy for you to say when you´re involved nowhere near the actual completion of the bet.”

“I could fuck you to end this already,” Chenle shrugged.

“We´re doing it tonight, just shut the fuck up,” Donghyuck groaned, downing another shot of tequila. Yeah, he looked even more frustrated than you.

“And how are we going to do this when you´re not even talking to me?”

“Are you serious right now?” He looked murderously at you bringing the topic up again and you became small under his eyes. Since he started hitting on you, Haechan had stopped actually being rude and insulting you and you kind of missed him feeding your ego. Maybe you complained enough he stopped, maybe he didn´t want to fuck you that badly anymore -

“Wait, are you dating the girl from the salon?” You asked when the possibility crossed your mind. “Because we´re not fucking if you´re da-”

“What?” He looked at you like you were the world´s most stupid person. “Why would I- Oh, wait, so the bet is off in case one of us starts dating?”

“Obviously?”

“Guess you´ll have to tell your new boytoy you just lost your friends a lot of money.”

“What? We´re not dating, we´re just – Oh, so you are jealous.”

“I´m disappointed.”

“At what?” You asked in disbelief, already swallowing another shot. You noticed Mark tried to say something, maybe stop the two of you from starting a fight, but you also noticed how he shut himself up before saying anything.

“At how easy you just drop everything to get with some dude. I thought you were a worthy opponent -”

“Donghyuck, this isn´t a game.”

“No, this is a bet.”

“Oh my god, just admit you have a star problem or something. Can´t handle not being the center of attention for a night? Is it too much for you? Go cry about it and leave everyone alone.”

“Guys-” It was Jeno who tried this time but you were quick to shush him.

“Not you acting like you didn´t came running the second I wasn´t down your neck.”

“So you were ignoring me!”

"Yes I was fucking ignoring you. I don´t like you, I guessed that was established.”

Wow.

Yeah, you knew that. But it kind of stung now.

A bit.

“Is this some kind of foreplay?” Chenle asked.

“Ask Y/N, I bet she´s getting off on this,” Haechan rolled his eyes, another shot finding its way down his throat.

“Oh my god, chill. What got your panties in a twist?” You rolled your eyes too, more Tequila passing your lips because you couldn´t let Haechan drink more than you.

“I can´t even tell if they´re really fighting or not anymore,” Mark raised his hand in defeat, a deep sigh leaving his lips.

“You´re the one suddenly all sensitive. Homeboy didn´t fuck you good or are you just pmsing?”

“You know what? Let´s go to the room and end this right now so I don´t have to put up with you ever again,” You half-suggested half-ordered.

No one said a word after that, noticing how Haechan was actually really mad. Jaemin didn´t even whine about you two using his room as you had expected he would as his friend stood up and made his way down the hall.

“Wish me luck,” You rolled your eyes before downing another shot and following Donghyuck.

When you got to Jaemin´s room, Haechan was already inside, so you quietly entered and closed the door behind you. You were thankful for Jaemin´s colorful lights because the blue room got you relatively calmer than you would be if you had to face the man in front of you in a normally lit room.

“We´re not fucking until we have an adult conversation for once,” You informed, leaning your body against the door.

“There´s nothing to talk about.”

“Of course there is.”

“I know we have this playing around thing but I´m really not in the mood.”

“And I´m not in the mood to be fucked like this, so what´s wrong?”

“Why do you need something to be wrong? It´s not like we ever treated each other well.”

“Yeah, but you kind of did for the past weeks -”

“Yeah, because I wanted to fuck you. Why? Did the princess fall in love?” Haechan gave you a fake pout. “I said you convinced me you were hot enough to fuck, not to date.”

“I can assure you that´s not the case. I just don´t enjoy this whole childish act, we never liked each other but you don´t need to suddenly be a bitch about it.”

“Guess I learned from the best.”

“So you want to not fuck me anymore and call off the bet? Is that it?”

“I guess. It wouldn´t really be fair now that we had someone else meddling in, would it?”

“What the fuck are you even talking about, Donghyuck?”

“I just wasn´t aware we were allowed to have sex with anyone else during the duration of the bet -”

“Oh my god, you´re still talking about San – Oh. – Oh! Hold on! You´re mad because you were counting on me to be untouched and desperate or something so you could win the bet!”

“Dear lord. I had you moaning like a whore around my fucking fingers and you think I need to count on something to get you anywhere? You really are stupid.”

“Since you suddenly care about the integrity of this bet so much I will let you know that San hasn´t fucked me yet, so that´s all cleared. Now, if you could be a dear and go inform everyone you want to cancel everything so I can in fact go get railed by said man, I´d be really happy.”

He answered everything you said by crossing his arms and scoffing, “As if.”

“Oh I see how it is, wanna up the bet? See who gets me there faster? I bet my League account with all the legendary skins that San can beat you.”

Well, that was enough to get Haechan practically throwing you against the door, a loud bang echoing through the apartment. You knew playing with his competitive nature would work.

“Are you really that desperate for me to fuck you that you´re trying to get on my nerves?” He asked, voice more like a growl and face mere inches apart from yours.

“You´re not the only attention whore in town,” you teased.

“I told you all you had to do was ask, baby,” He smirked before smashing his lips into yours.

Excited that this was finally happening and with the few shots in your system, you were more than happy to return the enthusiasm, hands now finding their familiar place in his hair as he pressed you harder against the door. As always, Haechan´s lips had you whining for more in no time, his hand expertly exploring your body as if you had no more time left in the world.

Oh, right.

The bet.

“Get on the bed,” He rasped out after he felt you starting to grind against him.

“You´re making me do all the work?” You teased, just wanting to be annoying.

He stopped and stared you down in silence, thumb finding its way to your lips as he watched your face lost deep in thoughts, something in his eyes started to crumble down and it got your anxiety to start coming out. Not wanting to give him the time to process whatever he was trying to, your mouth engulfed his finger as you sucked on it. A smirk filled your face as you saw the way Haechan´s jaw clenched at the action, so you gently bit his thumb before letting it go. At least your distraction plan seemed to work out.

“Honestly, fuck you,” the man sighed but his words had no bite as his lips found yours once again. You were so distracted by his tongue inside your mouth that you almost jumped when you felt him slowly slide the straps of your top down your shoulders. The sudden change of speed getting your brain to malfunction.

Now, you were not generally sensitive around your boobs but there was just something that happened to you whenever it was Haechan touching your skin that had your back arching when his fingers accidentally brushed against your nipples when he was dragging your top down, goosebumps erupted up your body in a single second. A weak moan left your lips at the surprising feeling and the man answered it by rubbing the pad of his thumb over your right nipple, his tongue in your mouth not doing much to keep your noises inside at the way your core violently clenched around nothing.

Donghyuck´s lips left yours to find their place on your neck, where he left wet hot kisses while you did your best to not squirm under him. The man made his way down your shoulders, to your collarbones, the top of your boobs until his soft lips found your nipples too - He looked up at you so smugly once you hissed at the sensation of his tongue circling the left one.

You kind of found a new appreciation for his insufferable cocky face.

“The timer,” You managed to breathe out, voice shaky.

“Go ahead baby, I trust you with that chore.”

An annoyed whine left your lips because honestly, you were not in the right headspace to be given any tasks - But as Donghyuck´s fingers dug into your waist to hold you still as he left marks on your boobs, you managed to get your trembling hand inside your pocket and get your phone out.

“Don´t start it until I tell you to,” He ordered, looking up at you before dropping down to his knees and honestly, the view was enough to keep you from arguing. He could win the bet for all you cared.

The man in front of you unbuttoned your shorts and gently pulled them down your legs, kissing up your thighs when he made his way back up. Your whole body was shivering as he approached where you were pulsing and you violently shook as he left a kiss right on your center over your lacy panties, his hot breath against your wet skin forcing a moan out of you.

You hated that your body could simply not react normally to this man.

Your knuckles were white from gripping your phone so tightly as he licked and kissed you slowly over your panties like he had nothing else to do for the rest of his life, it was hard keeping your moans inside and he didn´t even really touch you yet.

“Donghyuck-”

“Yes?” His eyes met yours from between your legs and you seriously wanted to scream.

“Do something, please,” Your voice sounded so broken.

The man chuckled at the way you dropped your attitude so fast, “Well, since you asked so prettily.”

His fingers found the seat of your underwear, dragging it to the side as his face approached your core once again, now with nothing in the way.

“I´ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

“Then fucking get to it,” You whined, the back of your head hitting the door in frustration. You hadn´t completely forgotten the bet was supposed to include no foreplay, but you were so desperate to feel his mouth on you that you could make an exception.

Another low chuckle left his mouth before he got straight into work. If you thought his fingers were magic, you didn´t even know how to begin describing his lips.

“Oh my fucking god,” You moaned, not even sure you had said it out loud or the words were just repeating themselves over and over inside your head.

He kissed your clit, sucked on it and his tongue lavished you and all you could do was try your best to hold your sounds in because your friends were right outside and they didn´t deserve the show. Your free hand found its place tangled in Haechan´s hair and the whimper he let out at the way you tugged on it got you almost reaching the edge.

He fucking whimpered.

A high whiny breathy groan.

That man was going to be de death of you.

You were about to stop him, push him away because you were already so close, but he could probably already guess that by the way your body was twitching and you were pulling harder on his hair, so he leaned away after a final chaste kiss to your clit. He cleaned his face with the back of his hand as he looked up at you, appreciating the view of your semi-wrecked form.

Donghyuck on his knees was such a pretty sight.

“Get on the bed and start the timer.”

Your legs were wobbly but you obeyed this time, eager to finally get fucked -

Yeah, you were excited to be fucked by Donghyuck, so what? It was about time you accepted defeat and indulged a bit in your sexual taboos - Haechan himself being most of them.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, not trusting your voice to ask how he wanted you. Also, this was his part of the bet, he would have to work for it for all you cared. You pressed START on the timer and tossed your phone away somewhere under the pillows, watching as the man approached you.

“It´s annoying,” He said once he stood between your legs, his hand holding your jaw to tip your head up so you were forced to look him in the eyes.

“What is?”

“How hot you are.”

“The timer is running.”

“And?”

“Hyuck-”

“Are you going to start dating San?”

“Do you really wanna talk about this now? Donghyuck, why-”

“Maybe I really was jealous.”

“What?”

“I didn´t like seeing you with him. At the time I blamed my ego or whatever, but now thinking about you with him it´s making me mad - I mean, maybe it is my ego.”

“Are you thinking about another man when you´re supposed to be fucking me?”

“Can you shut up for a second?”

“Is this your idea of a confession?”

“No, Y/N. I´m not saying I´m in love with you, I´m just saying I realized I was jealous and I´m not sure why.”

“Ok, can you figure that out after you finish fucking me, please?”

“Eager?”

“Yes, actually.”

“I´m so hard.”

“A romantic,” You roll your eyes.

“No, it´s just- You have a weird effect on me.”

“I- I know. I feel it too.”

“Nah, I´m just that good.”

“Ok, I take it back.”

“I´m clearly joking.”

“You´re clearly being annoying.”

“Shut up.”

“Come do it.”

And so he did. Donghyuck bent over and his lips found yours once again as he gently pushed you back down onto the mattress and climbed on top of you. You wasted no time wrapping your hands around his neck to try and pull him impossibly closer, your fingers once again tangling themselves into the hair in the back of his neck and tugging at them. The way his hips automatically rutted against yours in reaction made your vision blurry. Man was not kidding when he said he was really hard.

“Like hair pulling, huh?” You teased once the two of you let go of each other to try and catch your breath for a second.

“You should try and choke me a bit if you´re curious,” He winked at you playfully.

“You for real?” You really tried teasing him, but you´re the one who ended up choking around nothing and looking at him like he hung up all of the starts in the sky himself.

He didn´t answer you, his lips catching yours as his hands found the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs the best he could without breaking the kiss, which was not hard considering you were eager to help. Ha, who would have guessed.

You felt Donghyuck fitting himself between your legs once again, his whole weight supported by his left hand as he snaked his right hand in between your bodies. You felt his fingers circling your clit and you whined, trying to push him away, “Hyuck, no. I´m already clo-”

“Just let me stretch you out a bit,” He explained, his same finger now finding its way inside you. Now, that´s something you had already experienced a few times before, but every time Haechan had his fingers slowly pumping inside of you, it felt like the first time all over again.

“Oh, dear lord,” You whined, trying to hold back your orgasm because that would be simply humiliating.

“I could literally cum just because of the way you keep clenching around my finger.”

“I´m close-”

“I know, baby. I can feel it. But you can hold it in for me, right? I want you to cum on my cock.”

“Fuck. Donghyuck-”

“Yes, princess?”

“If you don´t add another finger right now-”

“Anything you ask,” He smiled down at you, complying with your request - which you immediately regretted because if one of his fingers was already too much, you were definitely not prepared for two. Your nails dug into the skin of his arms without you even realizing, but you needed something to ground yourself. He was fingering you so slowly and yet you wanted to scream at how good the drag along your walls felt.

When he judged you were ready, he retracted his fingers and you breathed out in relief, finally not having to use your full mental capacity to focus on not cumming.

“We should go on a date sometime,” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone, like you were discussing the weather on a nice little walk.

“Lee Donghyuck, what are you-” It was hard talking when you were still trying to catch your breath.

“Indulge me.”

“You´re not helping yourself win the bet.”

“I don´t give a fuck about the bet, I´m already happy proving you wrong.”

“And how are you doing that?” You knew the answer to that question, but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Because baby,” He paused to give you a soft kiss on the lips, " this exact moment, we´re chatting to give you a break since you can´t even handle being fucked just from my fingers inside of you.”

Touché.

Maybe you loved his voice, especially when saying lewd things.

“You´re not so much better,” You rolled your eyes, squeezing the bulge in his pants and earning a groan in response. “Now, can you please undress?”

“Undress? How fancy,” He laughed, but his hands were already undoing his belt.

“Do you always talk this much during sex? Maybe we should gag you.”

“Careful with your promises, I might come demand their fulfillment.”

“Just fuck me, Donghyuck.”

“Never wanted anything more,” He smirked after he finished taking his pants off.

He kissed you once again, but you were quick to break away, sitting up to pull at the hem of his shirt and he complied, raising his arms so you could take it off. You pulled Haechan closer, kissing down his neck and ecstatic with the little whines he let out, especially as you started lowering the kisses to his chest. His skin felt burning hot against your lips and you wanted to stay there forever.

It came as a surprise when he grabbed onto your waist and manhandled you, spinning you around, so you were now with your back pressed to his chest. His hand found your neck to hold your head as he chuckled darkly right against your ear, “I appreciate the attempt, but today I´m in charge.”

You moaned as he used his knee to force your legs open, his hand leaving your throat to push your back down the mattress. You didn´t even have time to react or support yourself with your arms, your left cheek meeting the bed sheets as you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance.

You pushed your hips back without even realizing, just wanting Donghyuck inside of you once and for all. But to no one´s surprise, it was just teasing you that he wanted.

“You´re so fucking wet,” He marveled, rubbing his tip up and down your folds. “Just like you always are for me.”

You wanted to retort, but you also wanted his dick inside of you – today, preferably. So you just whined impatiently and arched your hips a bit more, “Donghyuck!”

“Beg.”

“No.”

“I want to hear the high oh mighty miss I´m-always-right begging for me to fuck her.”

“Please.”

“Not good enough.”

“Donghyuck, please fuck me. You won ok? I need you. I don´t care. Just please, fuck me,” You could seriously cry.

Maybe you weren´t used to not getting things your way.

“Tell me you´re mine.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, but I need you to know it.”

“Fuck me well and I might be.”

“Good answer.”

You could tell he was smirking as he finally slid inside of you.

“Oh god,” You moaned. You had been waiting for this for months!

“You can call me Haechan.”

“You´re not as funny as you think you are,” You breathed out, your hands gripping onto the bed sheets as he waited for you to adjust for a second.

“Maybe, but I am about to give you the fuck of your life.”

“Why are you still talki-”

Donghyuck didn´t let you finish the sentence, his hand that was caressing your lower back now grabbed onto your waist for support as he took his dick out before pushing it back in. He took absolutely no time to find a rhythm that drove you crazy, and as expected from mister tease himself, it was a slow one, but with that, you could feel every single vein and piece of skin dragging against your walls, every single pulse and twitch of his cock.

“Fuck,” You moaned, closing your eyes harshly to try and focus on something other than the way the man you hated was about to make you cum in approximately 20 seconds just from teasing.

“I´ve been imagining fucking you for years,” Haechan groaned.

“Then fucking do it properly,” You cursed between gritted teeth, sentence interrupted by a gasp when his cock hit something inside of you that had you involuntarily clenching around him.

“You can´t take it.”

He was probably right, but you wanted him to anyways.

“Maybe you just can´t do it.”

Haechan´s answer was a laugh; his movements didn’t stop as you felt something grabbing your hair and pulling you up, your back once again against his chest, “I wanted to have my fun, but I guess that´s not something you´re familiar with.”

His movements then sped up, his right hand finding your clit and rubbing circles on it and his other hand moved to your favorite place, your neck.

He was absolutely right. You couldn’t take it.

You were pretty sure you were being loud, but you couldn´t even be sure because your mind was in another dimension.

“Happy now, princess?” He groaned against your ear from the effort of how he was harshly fucking into you.

“Yes, oh my god. Don´t stop – Ah- I´m so close.”

Your body was shaking at this point, you threw your right arm back to latch onto Haechan´s hair for any sense of stability as you felt everything beginning to turn white.

“I thought you would put more of a fight,” His hand around your neck tightened. “But I love seeing you like this, so no complaints.”

You heard his voice but his words didn´t register, leaving your mind as soon as they entered because you were so so close.

“Tell me you´re mine.”

“I´m yours.”

“This pussy is mine, only mine.”

“Only yours.”

“Good girl.”

Never in a million years did you think you would let Lee Donghyuck say those words to you, and never in a million years did you think those exact words would trigger the most earth-shattering orgasm of your life.

“Oh fuck, oh my god. Hyuck”-

He didn´t let up, fucking you all throughout as you were moaning and twitching, his fingers never losing speed against your clit, his groans from the way you kept squeezing around him were enough to almost give you another orgasm back-to-back as he let your cheek gently hit the mattress once again.

“If you keep calling me that I might cum soon too.”

You didn't even mind the overstimulation, your ears were still ringing, you were still gasping for air but he didn´t stop, in fact, he only begin fucking you harder. Another high started building up and you weren´t even done with the first yet.

You barely registered when he pulled out for a second to flip you around, finding his place in between your legs once again, which you automatically wrapped around his hips as he pounded into you.

“Fuck,” He groaned, looking into your eyes. Sweat was running down his forehead and neck and you so desperately wanted to pull him closer and lick it. “Maybe I was jealous, can´t stand the thought of someone else seeing how pretty you look like this.”

“Hyuck.”

“I want to ruin you for any other man. Fuck, you feel so good.”

He was close too, you could feel his cock twitching inside of you and how he lost control once every few thrusts. Your nails scratched his back enough to draw blood but he seemed to enjoy it, his head dropping down your neck and a whine leaving his lips. The vibration against your skin got goosebumps erupting once again all over your body and you felt yourself at the edge again.

You stopped caring your friends were right outside about 10 minutes ago and Donghyuck just never did - Oh, right. He probably wanted Jeno to hear it all.

“Hyuck, ah- I´m close.”

“Me too, baby.”

You didn´t think it was possible for him to go any faster, but he did. Now supporting his weight on his two arms, Donghyuck drilled into you and his lips met your neck, leaving wet kisses and sucking on it to leave as many bruises as possible.

Man really had a possession problem.

You couldn´t take it anymore, as the man bit a particular spot on the side of your neck, you closed your eyes and let it hit you. No man had ever been able to make you cum just from penetration alone and your world was suddenly turned upside down with your second orgasm of the night. Donghyuck probably did manage to ruin you for any other man.

Fuck him.

With your body spasms and the way your walls started clenching when you came, Donghyuck followed right along with you. He had his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed as moans left his pretty lips - Haechan was insufferable but he was also the hottest man in the world, you were going a bit crazy.

You felt warmness hitting your insides as he slowly stopped his motions and started trying to catch his breath. You watched with hazy eyes as his chest stopped heaving and he opened his eyes to stare right back at you.

“Hello beautiful,” You smiled at him, breathing somewhat closer to normal even if you were still shivering.

“I figured it out,” He smiled back at you.

“You´re still inside of me.”

“And I plan on being for a long time.”

“Is that a threat?”

“I want you to go out with me.”

“Awn, someone has a crush.”

“Maybe. Let´s have a date and figure it out,” He shrugged. “Maybe we will end up killing each other, maybe we will end up boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe we will end up fucking – No, we´re definitely fucking either way-”

“You just want to keep staring at my boobs.”

“That too.”

“And you´re still inside of me.”

“You never said yes.”

“We´ve known each other for many years, Donghyuck. What makes you think we will start liking each other now?”

“I guess I already like you and even when hating each other we still had fun, you get me, I get you. Let´s not overcomplicate it.”

“Ok, let´s give it a try.”

“You just want me to fuck you again,” He joked.

“That too,” You smiled.

★

“Oh, fuck.”

“What´s wrong?” Donghyuck asked worriedly, tightening his belt after the shower you took.

“The timer.”

“Oh, yeah. Was too lazy to turn it off,” He shrugged.

“But the bet-”

“I told you I didn´t care about the bet.”

“That´s because I won.”

“That´s because I let you win.”

“So you´re just giving me your stuff like that?”

“Nop, because many rules were broken and that makes the bet invalid.”

“I never agreed to that.”

“So you really want my computer? Yours is perfectly fine, I know it because I´m the one who assembled it!”

“No, but I do want your hoodie.”

Donghyuck stared at you in silence long enough to make you uncomfortable before shrugging, “Fine, as long as I can fuck you in it. Now go outside and tell our dear friends the bet was canceled.”

“Shouldn´t we just lie? I kind of feel bad for Jisung.”

“If I agree, I get to choose where to go on our first date.”

“Let me guess, your bed?”

“What do you take me for?” He fake gasped.

“Do you really want me to answer that? Because then I don´t think there will be a first date.”

“Look who´s all mouthy now, not only 15 minutes ago you were-”

“Don´t you dare.”

“Oh, I dare.”

“Just give me your hoodie and shut up.”

“You´ll go out wearing it.”

“What- Why?”

“I want Jeno to see it.”