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trashlie · 1 year

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Manifesting Stalkyoo~

Just to get it out of the way: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN! I don’t want anyone to take this in a weird way or like it’s some ridiculous demand I’m making lmao. I’ve just been having a delightful time talking to other Stalkyoo shippers and just romanticizing silly things we want to see so again: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I know fandom has been weird about shipping stuff because of the... ugly past lol so I feel a weird need to remind people that my shipping is just secondary enjoyment of ILY and that I will continue to love and read ILY wherever it goes.

With that out of the way lol please also note there are spoilers all the way up to 224, so if you don’t FP episodes, this post is not safe for you! (unless you like spoilers. i don’t judge people, I like spoilers, too)

Look, I’m not good at writing fanfiction. I’d love to, but I always feel like it’s difficult for me to portray characters the way the original writer does. I think about it, every now and then, dabble in a little idea, something I might like to see, before the storyline plays out in a different way, but I just never trust myself, so this is about the closest I ever get to that. And even still, I think of these little musings, these silly little “oh I’d love to see ______” very inline with fanfiction, wherein I acknowledge that what I’m hoping for or imagining is very likely to not happen. It’s just the fun of exploring story and the what-if’s and little AU tangents where ONE little thing tweaks.

For me, the fun of shipping is just playing with those character dynamics, which is another reason fic is so difficult for me - I enjoy my pairings, my characters, within their circumstances. That’s not to say AU fics are unfathomable to me (I LOVE THEM), but more so that it’s hard to write something knowing that I don’t know everything, that quimchee will pull out a surprise and I’ll be like oh my god I should have realized! And again, I guess that’s where musing is fun. You get to play out those little what if’s for yourself, get to imagine a scenario that probably will never come to pass. That’s the fun of fic + canon, to me! Not once has quimchee done something with her characters and their story that really surprised me in an “oh i don’t like this” kind of way. I can say “Oh I’d love to see xyz scenario play out” but when instead abc plays out, I’m not mad.

I also fully admit that I tend to compartmentalize my shipping thoughts and whims separately from my general commentary, and I guess for the previously mentioned reasons: this fandom has an ugly, nasty past with shipping and even still, there are a lot of people who demand romance from ILY and don’t seem to care about the actual story at play or even weirder, seem to think that it detracts from the romance they think should be happening???? (”when is she going to choose one of the brothers it’s been so many years and episodes waaaah) And I guess, yeah, I get a little self-conscious, because (and this is feels so embarrassing to actually word) I acknowledge a lot of people read my commentary and my opinions! And I’m so happy for that, I love being so communal with everyone! But I do get worried someone is going to take something out of context and be like “omg can you believe she’s one of those weirdo romance demanders” or something lmao, hence this weird long useless diatribe. But yeah, basically, I’ve been talking with people lately and god just thinking about my shippy feels and how much I love the current story - one step forward, three steps back; the struggles to open up; the struggles to deal with feelings in the face of much heavier, scarier elements; etc. etc.

Sometimes you just wake up and you’re like: I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT STALKYOO so you do it because you have a birdbrain and you know is screaming afljkfkjafkjakfjaf LMAO

If you’re reading this, chances are you aren’t new to my blog so you’ve probably read the likes of my Foundations of Stalkyoo, Why I Ship Stalkyoo, and Further Thoughts on Stalkyoo (I just never shut up huh) posts, so I’ll try not to like, completely repeat everything but if it happens well. It can’t helped, can it? lol

Anyway something I’ve been talking and thus thinking a lot about is where we stand with Stalkyoo, now that we are getting more confirmation of actual budding feelings. I always reiterate that anything can change, but I also like to remind myself that something quimchee has said in the past (and this is loosely paraphrased) is that whenever it does come to a pairing, it will be made obvious before it gets there, because this is NOT a primarily romance-focused story which means there aren’t as many storylines that deal with just the will-they/won’t-they and the likes, and I think likewise, there won’t be a real love triangle the way most fans tend to think of them. So often a love triangle gets boiled down to someone being torn between two people for whatever reason and i just don’t get the sense we’ll be seeing that? Thus, I do feel like we might well be moving into a territory where we will see some kinds of scenes setting up, or maybe better put, enabling the possibility of a relationship between Shinae and Nol?

But first. I always say I don’t really try to predict things because I’m always proven wrong, but I still like to try for fun lol, just because that’s part of the joy of reading an on-going story, I think! I’ve waffled a lot on it, but I still feel like when we reach our big time skip (not the first one taking us to graduation, but rather the one that jumps us a few years ahead), there has to be a REASON. Narratively it’s hard to imagine what that reason might be beyond the likelihood that we’ll see our three main characters on separate paths. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because otherwise you end up with a lot of story happening off page, right? If Shinae were to go to Japan with Kousuke, we’d end up missing their reconciliation and Kousuke earning her trust (or if it were to go the opposite, becoming cold acquaintances). Thus, I think Kousuke will go to Japan, but Shinae will take Rand’s advice begrudgingly and take up Yui on her “offer, while Nol will probably go to college abroad. He wasn’t denied admission to Oxford - it’s just not guaranteed there will be a spot for him.

I know people take umbrage with the idea of Shinae taking up Yui’s offer, but hear me out. I don’t think it’s meant to turn Shinae into some kind of conniving, cunning person in the likes of Yui, as much as just introduce her to this world, give her a better understanding of how people in this society and business work and thus, start to get an idea of how Yui works. While I don’t think it’s easy to ever be one step ahead of Yui, I do think developing an understanding of her world helps to at least defend herself from Yui - start to see traps in advance and how to avoid them, find ways to evade her clutches, that kind of thing. I do think the idea of Yui holding that over Shinae’s head is terrifying and it’s feels more dangerous than going to Japan with Kousuke, BUT again, the idea is that she would become better equipped to defend herself and fight back.

Of course, I don’t think Shinae in this moment is prepared to make that choice, and it may be a choice that comes after Yujing’s big scoop is revealed. Perhaps realizing how much more dangerous and powerful Yui (and the Kims) is would make her see what Rand was trying to tell her. I think she hasn’t fully figured out just what is going on with Yui and Rand, either - why would he be pushing her against his wife? But I think the information Yujing has compiled could help her see that bigger picture. If someone like Rand has spent twenty-five years struggling in this battle with her, how could Shinae ever hope to stand against her with even less understanding, with no sense of WHO Yui is or what makes her tick.

The thing about this that I always struggle with is: how would Nol regard that? We know he feels vehemently about Alyssa idolizing Yui and taking advantage of her connection to the Hiraharas - and yet he stayed with her, knowing that she benefits from him (but that he does, as well). Would he feel the same, if he found out who was enabling Shinae to go to school? Would they talk about it, since Shinae knows how he feels about it? Would he be able to understand, when even he himself doesn’t seem to realize that his father finds himself trapped by the Hiraharas? That’s... stuff I can’t try to predict, because I think everything is possible.

I promise I’ll get to that a little more.

The narrative benefit of separating the main characters is, of course, that first off, no major development happens where we can’t watch it. Sure, they’ll go about their lives and things will happen, but I don’t expect it to be major things that would make us go WAIT WHAT?! Otherwise, what brings us back itnto the story after time passes? For a long time my idea was that they’d all go their separate ways and maybe even their relationships would be a little damaged, so that when they come back into each others’ lives, part of the story is recovering that, reconciling with the past and maybe finding new futures together.

Especially regarding Nol and Shinae, I’d wondered if we would see him leave without reconciling with his friends, and that we’d see him and Shinae meet again after some years and Shinae would have to contend with their unresolved past, with feelings she never had a chance to really identify, let alone explore, and the aching beauty of having to figure out who each other after now that they’ve grown and changed, and if there is room in each others’ lives for one another, if they fit in with who they’ve become. And don’t get me wrong - i do like that kind of bittersweet ache, haunted by the ghosts of what never came to be, having to relearn each other. But the more I’ve talked about this (especially a lot with @bittrbuttr, the more I realized that’s not exactly what I want with them.

Like, it’s good and achey, it really pulls at your heartstrings. But I think that better suits an actual romance story, where the focus of the story and plot is on those feelings and untangling them, on finding their ways back to each other. I don’t think that’s the story of ILY, though.

I keep dancing around my point and I apologize, but we all know I’m nothing if not circuitous and I promise we’ll get there!

Here’s the thing: we know that Nol and Shinae are not in the space to become romantically involved. The feelings are there. They are drawn to each other, we know Nol finds comfort and peace in Shinae and that he always struggles to really push her away. We know that Shinae cares so deeply about him that no matter how much he hurts her, she still wants to try, she still wants to be there for him. I find the hope-tinged pain of 223 really poignant in that way - she wanted to SEE HIM, in a moment that was so special, she wanted to share that joy and get a glimpse at who he REALLY is, and he was unable to do that for her. But still she hopes for the best, still she intends to keep trying, to be as persistent as he was, even if she has to find a different approach.

They are so important to each other, and I’m hoping that might be a catalyst?

I understand what Nol’s struggle is. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, to feel weak, especially when those parts of him have been used against him the last 6 years of his life. He is full of so much self-loathing and isn’t comfortable with his own weakness and vulnerability, thus he can’t show it to Shinae, he doesn’t want her to see him like that. He’d rather let her think he just doesn’t need to see what exists between them, that he doesn’t need to see her indulging because it’s enough to just bring her joy - and that itself hurts enough! But I want him to at least be honest about it - tell her that you don’t want her to see that part of you. Will it change things? Probably not significantly, but it puts her one step closer to understanding doesn’t it?

And so the thinking is - or rather, the hope - is that maybe Nol will realize this?

We see some of it in 224. Upon Dieter’s arrival, instead of a hey welcome back or anything, it’s an immediate “Did you bump into Yoo?” and when Dieter reassures him that she’s fine, it’s just stuffy, he knows a. it’s not fine and b. he feels bad. I think he felt that regret immediately, when he noted that she’s angry and he took off the blindfold and she wasn’t there. Nol is so used to pushing people away, it’s his first line of defense, but when it works? When he succeeds at driving that wedge? Again it’s that battle of will vs want - he thinks that pushing her away is the right thing to do for her sake, but he doesn’t ACTUALLY want it.

It’s so difficult to go back to how things used to be having gotten a taste of something better. It’s so difficult to push out everyone when you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in being loved and cared about, and and I think that’s what Nol’s biggest hurdle is.

Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot of hurdles with him lol and clearing one doesn’t exactly make the others any easier to clear. But something we’ve seen from Shinae and that I think the story has tried to impress upon is that things are easier when we aren’t alone. Burdens shared are burdens that weigh a little less. We’ve Shinae and her father talking about being a team - about sharing that burden so it’s not so hard for just one of them and distributing that burden more easily. We’ve seen it in Shinae opening up about her problems with her friends, her insecurities that made her doubt her friendships. Her realization that as scary as situation as her sister breaking into her home was, it was made more bearable with a ragtag group of goofs who will protect her.

Nol needs to learn to share that burden. He’s spent so long treating himself like an island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to remember that it’s easier to endure something when you aren’t exhausted from shouldering that burden all by yourself. There is strength in numbers. He’s been so run ragged from just trying to endure, trying to get by, trying to survive and how is he to ever fight back against Yui when he’s exhausted just from treading waters?

I mean, ultimately Nol needs to learn to love himself, but I think it’s easier to tackle allowing others to love him, first. Allowing himself to share the burden, to show those weaknesses and let people have his back. Be able to slump over and know that someone will help keep you standing, you know? And maybe through that, he can find it in him to start loving himself. Of course, he has other problems he needs to address; in order to love himself, he has to forgive himself, and I hope that Yujing’s article can help in that area. I’m sure he carries the guilt of his mother’s alleged suicide, and maybe he was even made to believe that. It wouldn’t surprise me if the time he spent in the mental facility only served to make him feel worse about his existence, made him believe he was the root cause of the bad. Maybe even, like Nana, he had an argument with his mother before he death and felt that if they hadn’t argued, maybe she would never have made that choice?

Clearly that’s still a little complicated for us to fully dig into, but as horrible as learning that maybe her death was not a choice she made is to learn (I cannot imagine having made this peace with someone I loved reaching a point so dark they made that choice, only to find out that it was, possibly, murder. How do you deal with that? What do you do with all that new grief, that new anguish?), I think maybe, if he learned that she didn’t choose that, it might help free him from his shackles of guilt.

But I think until he can learn to forgive himself, until he can make that peace, couldn’t letting people love him help? Wouldn’t it be better for him to move forward knowing that he has people who will not only defend him, but who can ease the weight of his burdens?

As dramatic as Nol and Shinae separating on these rocky grounds, unable to fully reconcile, makes for a good, dramatic romance, I think it’s much better for Nol to move on as a team. To let himself rely on others isn’t something he can learn over night, of course, but isn’t it better for him to enter a scary phase of his life knowing that there ARE people who he can talk to about it? There ARE people he can eventually let see those weak parts of him?

So my ultimate hope for Nol’s extension is that in that time, he and Shinae find that peace after all. I still can’t help but feel like the three-day-extension is significant, because why else include it, if it was to pass without event? Especially because, depending on how it works (is it 3 additional days INCLUDING the 22nd or 3 days extra, beginning the 23rd?) we’ll hit the holidays. That just feels... too significant, right?

I want Nol to grapple with his feelings, let his fear take over a little. Is he really as ready to lose Shinae as he tries to be? He seemed to regret hurting her, hanging his head after Dieter reassured him she was fine, even though she refuses to come back in to the room. And I can’t help but feel like it’s significant that she’s still lingering in the waiting room. My thinking is that Nana will get involved - she knows that Nol is upset about someone, she knows other friends have been watching over him, she knows there’s a friend who isn’t coming back in. She can read him well, so it’s not like it’s difficult to read that maybe they had a fight, that he was brusque and brushed her off the way he tries to do even to Nana. Will she go out there to see who this friend is? Will they talk? I feel like they HAVE to - not just because the fandom has waited for it, but because I think Nana can probably glean that Shinae (”Yoo” lol) must be someone important, if he’s acting like that.

And look. Did Nana see the blush? *I* saw the blush, I’m not getting over that. I’m sorry but he lmao pushed her away, regretted hurting her, and he’s still getting flustered because he pictured her mouth. BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYY. YOU’RE A MESS.

I don’t expect her to fully intervene in like, trying to make things happen way lmao I think it’s more like... Nana knows better than anyone that Nol is a difficult person to love. I say this with affection, because it’s true. He pushes people away, he deflects from himself, he never opens up, it’s hard to read what’s going on in his head. And Nana also knows of the darkness that looms. She was right there when he pleaded guilty, concerned about his reasoning. She’s listened to him talk about how maybe everything would be better if he didn’t exist. She knows that the darkness has a strong grip on him. So who better than her to encourage Shinae, to thank her for her patience and tenacity, for sticking with Nol even with the way he acts? I’d like to see a little bit of that comfort between them, some reassurance that Shinae is, in fact, making the right choice. She oscillates so wildly between her extreme emotions; sadness and melancholy that caring is not enough and how it sometimes comes out as anger when she can’t find a better way to channel it. We know she doesn’t really regret planning that birthday celebration - she’s just hurt. And I think it would be a big help to have Nana tell her how much it means to see Nol with friends who care about him despite how prickly and difficult he is, how she worries about him and is glad there are people who care about him. I think it would really encourage Shinae that her resolve is right - that she just has to find another way to approach him, that it’s worth the effort.

And at that same time, yes, I want Nol’s fear to kick his ass. I want him to realize he faces the very real reality of losing someone who cares so much about him, who is willing to put up with him because of how much she cares and how special she is to him - and that she wants him to see it, too. I want him to fear losing the comfort and peace she brings him. I want him to have to finally face head on his want vs what he thinks he deserves, and see what a future without someone like her is like. Can he bear to return to that kind of loneliness? Can he bear losing her concern? How it feels for her to take notice of him, to probe, to listen?

Like, at the risk of getting really corny and dramatic, that’s what it comes down to. I don’t want Nol to come back in a few years and decide he’s ready to face all of that. I want him to move on from this point knowing he’s not alone. I want him to be able to face prison knowing that he’s not so alone, that there is someone who will always be there to support him. I think that’s what makes the most sense. Leaving on their current circumstances works great if it’s a romance and that’s the main story - but making up, talking, being honest? That makes more sense for THIS story, where Nol starts to grow NOW, where he starts to make those important steps that will help him find his way to healing, and more important, that will help him face the forces that taunt and haunt him.

He doesn’t have to be completely honest with Shinae, because I don’t think he’s ready. I don’t think he’ll tell her that his mother took her life, and that he believes it’s his fault. But I think it would be enough to tell her the truth he couldn’t stay to her face - that he doesn’t want her to see him like that, that it’s still hard for him to open up that way, that it’s still SCARY - but that he doesn’t want to push her away, that he’s sorry he keeps hurting her. We could even go more dramatic with a callback to the hospital scene - that he’s sorry he isn’t good enough and is undeserving of her (AND LET HER REASSURE HIM THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT HE IS). BUT JUST. IDK I WANT HIM TO FACE IT. ADMIT IT.

He doesn’t have to tell her he likes her. That’s fine. Just reiterate what she means to him! One moment he’s telling her she’s special to him, that he cares about her, next moment he’s telling her it’s okay he doesn’t have to look he’s fine like this. STOP JERKING HER AROUND ;~; lmao like don’t get me wrong. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

But I also want to see them move into our time skips with a sense of understanding and peace, you know? I don’t want want Nol to face his fears alone anymore. I want him to let someone stand by his side. I want him to accept how good it feels to rest on her shoulder and know that it’s okay, she’s there.

I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY I JUST. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO FIND T HAT STRENGTH IN EACH OTHER, TO BE STRONGER TOGETHER.

And to call back to my earlier point lmao I like to think if they get to that point, then maybe he would understand, if Shinae accepts Yui’s offer. Maybe he would see how it’s different from Alyssa, that Shinae made a choice to protect herself, that it’s not about the idolatry, it’s not a self-serving choice, but one that protects her and enables her to fight back. Knowing that they are on the same side, that Shinae isn’t a doe-eyed naïve girl about to be taken advantage of again, but one who wants to fight back against the people who hurt her and others like her.

We’re about halfway to 3/5 of the way into this story, and I think that’s a good point for Shinae and Nol to join forces.

AndlookthisiscompletelydaydreamingbutiftherewasaChristmaskissIwouldcertainlynotobject

PLEASE I JUUUUUUUUUST i want to see them on the same page, I want to see them moving forward TOGETHER. I don’t want Nol to keep walking on his own. I don’t want him to just accept Shinae at his side, either; I want him to CHOOSE to let her choose his side. ;A;

GOD. PLS. BARKS AT THE MOON I’m just ready for them to bE A TEAM I’M READY FOR NOL TO BE SELFISH AND TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS I WANT HIM TO CHOOSE COMFORT AND SECURITY OVER PUNISHMENT I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THERE IS STRENGTH IN COMPANIONSHIP. I know being close to him puts her at risk - but he needs to see that no matter what, she’s at risk, and isn’t it better if she’s in danger with someone who can help, than to be all alone with it? I WANT HIM TO FACE THAT FEAR OF HIS AND FIND THAT MAYBE HIS DESIRE, HIS WANT, HIS NEEDS ARE EVEN BIGGER. That it’s better to find peace with her than spend the whole time afraid. Isn’t that the thing? He’s always afraid - afraid of someone else getting hurt, afraid of another opportunity being stolen away, afraid of the next time Yui will find a way to hurt him. BUT TO BE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT WITH SHINAE?

Please. Just open up - be honest!!!!!!! But most importantly APOLOGIZE. Apologize for hurting her, apologize for pushing her away.

I realize, based on what she said on the hospital roof, that maybe he won’t make that choice, that maybe her persistence has to be a long game, that she does have to wait for him to forget to put the mask back on.

But wouldn’t it be so nice if he chose to move forward with her, instead of alone, to face their nightmare and battles together? ;~;

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #LMFAO THIS IS SO LONG-WINDED but i think no one is surprised anymore?#I just!!!!!!!!!#i have this very specific want in mind and if it doesn't happen that's okay because i'm sure it will lead to a better story lmao #BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT LIKE. WANT THIS PARTICULAR THING TO PLAY OUT for the sake of the story #for the sake of the second season #for the sake of what it means to fight against those who harm others just for joy #i'm such a firm believer of shinae and nol being a team and i want to see them be a team together FOR REAL #i want to see nol find it in himself to lean on shinae and find how much stronger he can be if he doesn't have to shoulder a burden alone #it's so much easier to share the weight together when you aren't the only one to carry it right?#and when you aren't run ragged just from sturviving #when you have the time to rest and recharge knowing you are safe #aren't you able to become even stronger?#to face even more?#I JUST WANT THEM TO BE A TEAM ;A;

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runicmagitek · 1 year

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What Leads You Here

🌌 keinatsu/慶奈津 - 13 Sentinels/十三機兵防衛圏 🌌 rated M - 200k~ words 🌌 updates Thursdays, weekly/biweekly 🎨 @glitteraga

They made it. The final battle against the Deimos is over. However, throughout their efforts to rebuild, Keitaro struggles to acclimate. So does Natsuno. And he worries—as always—that this may not be a fight he can win for her, especially when he must confront his own battles.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

#keitaro miura #natsuno minami #13 sentinels: aegis rim #13 sentinels #13sar #fanfiction #my writing #fanfic: what leads you here

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neverwhere · 1 month

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✨✨ Congratulations to Sega of America and our INDUSTRY LEADING union contract ✨✨

With a gratifyingly massive vote in favour we ratified our contract guaranteeing worker protections, increased wages, credit for all games worked on and more!

We are the largest and only multi-department video game union, and hope this joyous news will encourage others to organize and fight for their own employee rights in our beloved, but layoff-plagued industry.

I'M SO PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF AEGIS 💙💙

#sega #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #video games #unions #atlus games #labor rights #WE DID IT #we're history makers!!#SONIC SAYS UNIONIZE #FIGHT FOR YOUR WORKER RIGHTS #if we did it so can youuuu

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makeitmingi · 9 months

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Drunk In Love

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: San x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Girlfriend!Reader, Boyfriend!San

Summary: After a great night out with your best friends, San did not expect to have to deal with an intoxicated you. However, despite his best efforts to convince you, you were adament on not cheating on your sweet boyfriend waiting at home.. whose name was also ‘Choi San’?

Word count: 3.3K

[A/N: This is just a really sweet, fluffy scenario with caring boyfriend San. So if you don’t like it or find it cringey/ cheesy/ etc, you might not enjoy this.]

“Hello, aegi? Are you having fun?” San pressed the phone to his ear. You had been waiting to go out with your friends for so long. And being the ever supportive boyfriend, San was excited for you.

“Uhhh............. Hello?”

“I’m still here, aegi.” San chuckled. Despite his laughter, he got up from the couch, going to get his jacket. He knew you were going for drinks but from the way you were talking and the slight slur in your voice, it sounds like you had a drink too much.

“I wanna go home~”

“Alright, don’t whine. I’ll come pick you up, where did you say you were going again?” San asked as he fished through his work bag for his car keys. Then he sat down to wear his shoes.

“I’m sleepy...”

“Don’t sleep yet, aegi. Can you pass your phone to one of your friends, please?” He requested kindly. After he was able to get the location from your friend, San drove to the pub that you were at with your friends.

Although, he is a very careful driver, he does admit to going a little over the speed limit while getting to you. San hadn’t really seen you drunk before but he knew alcohol made you sleepy and whiny, which was why he was slightly worried about your safety. Not that he didn’t trust your friends but they sounded like they had a few drinks as well.

“(y/n)?” San entered the pub. No doubt, despite the dim lights, San’s good looks caught the attention of a few patrons there.

“San! Over here.” Your friends waved him over. When San arrived, he absolutely melted at the sight of you. You were curled up against your friend’s side, blinking to keep yourself awake.

“Aegi?” San spoke a little louder since the pub’s music was blasting.

“Aegi? It’s time to go home.” He helped you sit up. He cupped your cheek with one hand, searching your eyes.

“Hey, who are you?! Don’t touch me!” You frowned, slapping his hands away angrily. It seems that you were so far gone that you didn’t even recognise your own boyfriend.

“Baby star, it’s me. You don’t recognise me?” He laughed.

“No! I don’t know who you are. I’m sorry, mister. But I have a boyfriend.” You crossed your arms with a pout.

“(y/n)! That is your boyfriend, silly.” One of your friend giggled, seeing how you were rejecting San. You still had the frown on your face, squinting your eyes to try and see the man’s face with the dim light. You held his cheeks in your hands, squishing his face.

“No, don’t know you.” You insisted.

“I’ll take her home. Thanks, everyone.” San smiled to your friends. They all waved to your boyfriend as San gently helped you to your feet. You swayed slightly but San steadied you.

“Mister, where are you taking me?” You asked innocently as San led you to the exit of the club.

“We’re going home, aegi.” San said.

“I already told you, I have a boyfriend.” You reminded. San nodded his head, leading you to the car. Because there were people standing outside smoking, he didn’t want you to inhale so much smoke.

“Let’s talk in the car, okay?” He opened the door for you. You did willingly sit down in the passenger seat.

“There we go.” Reaching over, he fastened your seatbelt for you. San removed his jacket and placed it over your lap, covering your legs so you wouldn’t be cold.

“Sleepy...” You yawned. You reminded San of a fiesty kitten and it was adorable. He reached over to stroke your head.

“Sleep then, aegi.” He encouraged. You didn’t need to be told twice as the sleep washed over you and you fell asleep immediately. As San drove back to your shared home, he made sure not to go over the speed bumps too quickly. He didn’t want to risk you bumping your head against the window too heard with where it was currently resting.

When San pulled up, he didn’t want to wake you. You were so fast asleep that he couldn’t bring himself to. So he unbuckled your seatbelt, slipping his arms under your smaller frame and brought you upstairs.

“Woah, aegi. Be careful.” San steadied himself, nearly falling with how you suddenly tried to sit up in his arms.

“Hang on, hang on.” He placed you down on the couch and went to lock the main door.

“W-Where am I?” You blinked in confusion.

“You don’t recognise your own home, darling?” San raised an eyebrow. He bent down to help you remove your shoes, even massaging your feet for a bit. High heels always made your feet ache.

“Thank you, mister.” You whispered, grateful that he freed your feet, despite thinking he was some strange man that is trying to have his way with you.

“You’re very welcome.” San grinned.

“Since you helped me... I guess I can ask what your name is. Hi... Name is (y/n). I still have a boyfriend though.” You tried to string together the best sober sentence you could now. You even held out a hand to shake. San stifled his laughter with his sleeve.

“Hi, (y/n). I’m Choi San. And of course I would help you, you’re so pretty.” He introduced back, reaching out to shake your hand. At his words, you frowned again, pulling your hand back.

“San... H-Hey! My boyfriend’s name is San too! ... Are you brothers... or something?” You obviously thought having the same name meant that.

“No... well, actually... No, we’re not.” San didn’t really know what to say.

“Oh...” You nodded your head, seemingly disappointed. If you had puppy ears, they would be pressed against your head now. You thought you had a genius eureka moment but with his words, you just felt dumb now.

“Alright. Let’s go.” He smiled up at you. He held his hand out to you. You stood up, shyly slipping your hand into his.

“We have to change you out of your clothes and into comfy clothes to sleep.” San sat you down on the bed. He grabbed one of his shirts for you to wear to sleep in.

“No! I have a boyfriend!” You grabbed onto your dress like your life depended on it when San tried to remove it. He sighed, not really sure how to convince you. In your drunken state, you really looked terrified of him. And even if he knew you wouldn’t remember this tomorrow morning, he still hated scaring you into doing something you were clearly afraid of.

“I’m just changing you into a shirt, aegi. It would be much more comfortable for you.” San wiped a stray tear that slipped down your cheek. He placed his hand on the white shirt that he had taken out.

“Promise you won’t hurt me?” You looked at him with doe eyes.

Wow, you were really really drunk. But you were so endearing and it made San want to take care of you more. He thought you were the cutest thing ever that you wanted to remain loyal to him despite your intoxicated state.

“Aegi, I would never hurt you.” He caressed your cheek with a loving smile. You thought about it for a while before nodding.

“Don’t try anything... My boyfriend will beat you up. He has been working out a lot and has a lot of muscles... that he can fight you.” You threatened.

“Alright.” San removed your dress and slipped the shirt over your head. He guided your arms through the correct openings then reached underneath to unclasp your bra to remove it.

“There we go. All done.” San put your clothes in the laundry bin. Then he carried you to the bathroom, sitting you down on the closed toilet bowl.

“Open.” San coaxed. He began to help you brush your teeth. Luckily, you still knew to gargle and spit.

“Sit here, okay? I’ll be right back.” He told you. You nodded your head obediently, placing your hands over your knees like a child. San went to into your bedroom and came back with a small box that he took from your vanity table. It was your makeup remover pads.

“Close your eyes, aegi.” He instructed. You did as your were told and closed your eyes. Opening the box, San took out a cotton pad and gently wiped your make up away.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, not wanting to use too much force.

“Nope!” You chirped. As he continued to help you clean your face, San had a soft smile on the entire time. He liked seeing you without make up.

After wiping your makeup, San proceeded to wipe your face with a damp cloth and did your skincare routine for you. He has been with you long enough and watched you long enough to know all the steps to your entire routine.

“This is taking too long.” You whined with a pout as you continued to keep your eyes closed. San remembers how he used to complain that you have too many steps in your routine.

“Every step is an essential step baby.” San repeats your words to him, back to you. You swung your legs as you waited.

“Does your boyfriend treat you well?” He asked to try and make you more patient.

“Mhmm! He is suuuuuuuuuuper nice. And he loves me. And... And... he cuddles me a lot. I like it when he cuddles me.” You spoke, successfully distracted by him.

“Do you?” He raised an eyebrow in amusement. You continued to talk about how much you love and appreciate your amazing boyfriend San. San just listened, letting out noises of acknowledgement to tell you that he was still listening to you talk. It embarrassed him but also warmed his heart to hear you gush about him like this.

“You must really love him.” San said.

“I do. He’s the best person in the whole wide world.” You extended your arms to emphasis how much you love him. San kissed the top of your head lovingly. He threw away the used cotton pads and washed his hands.

“Just a bit more.” Wetting another towel, San began to wipe your body, mainly your arms and your legs. He didn’t want to risk you hurting yourself with a shower.

“Hands.” He said and you showed him your hands to wipe. As he took care of you, San made sure to give you plenty of kisses.

“You know... Now that I think about it. You really look like my Sannie...” You stated as San stood by the sink to rinse the cloth and wring it dry. He gently wiped your neck, lifting your hair to wipe the back too.

“I do?”

“Yeah... But my Sannie looks best when he is wearing his glasses. He looks really smart and handsome.” You giggled, the starstruck look in your eyes.

San always felt a little insecure about wearing his glasses. But he was glad to know that you thought he was the most good looking when he was wearing them. He will definitely wear them more now.

“Good job, my love. We’re all done. We can finally head to bed.” Instead of making you walk, San carried you again. He placed you down onto the bed on your side and removed his shirt to put it in the laundry pile, being used to sleeping shirtless. Seeing that, you yelped and covered your eyes as if he had just flashed you.

“You’re naked!” You screeched.

“I only removed my shirt, aegi.” San chuckled, getting into bed. As he got under the covers, he encircled his arms around you to pull you close to him. Your forehead pressed against his chest.

“You smell like my shirt.” You mumbled. San snickered at your nonsensical words and observation.

“Because you are wearing my shirt, aegi. You always like wearing my shirts because they smell like me.” He explained patiently, continuing to stroke your head. You nodded your head slowly, processing his words.

“Why do you call me aegi?” You asked randomly, tracing circles on his skin with your finger.

“Because you are my baby.” San smiled softly, looking down at you.

“I am?” You blinked back up at him. He nodded his head with a hum, leaning down to give you a kiss. You let out a shy giggle.

“Am I your only baby?”

“Yes, you are my one and only baby. And I love you.” San could entertain your drunk questions forever. The way his professions of love made you blush and get all giddy made him fall in love with you even more. You buried your face into his chest shyly.

“I’m sleepy...” You repeated the same words you’ve been claiming throughout the night. You yawned, blinking a few times. San tightened his arms around you, patting your back soothingly.

“Go to sleep, aegi.” He coaxed you like a baby. If there’s one thing you wouldn’t let San do while sober is baby you.

“Will you stay with me?” You asked.

“Of course, I will. I won’t leave you, I promise.” He chuckled, reaching out to cup your cheek and kiss you again. You hummed, resting your head on his arm comfortably. San watched your eyes slowly close as you finally fell asleep.

It was about 5 am when you stirred awake. The back of your neck and head was throbbing, making you wince softly. San poked open an eye, being woken up by your noise and movement.

“San?” You croaked. He grunted, an acknowledgement that he was listening to you despite his eyes being closed.

“I love you.” You pressed your face into his chest.

“I love you more, aegi... It’s still early, go back to sleep.” San used a hand to gently massage to back of your neck to relieve some tension there. You melted into his touch immediately and went back to sleep.

When you finally woke up, it was about 1pm. You reached over to find San’s side of the bed empty. You wanted to get up and look for your missing lover but the moment you sat up, your head hurt so bad that you fell back onto the mattress. The loud wince and groan that you let out made your boyfriend run into the room worriedly.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” San frowned. He had an apron on, evident that he was cooking.

“My head hurts.” You groaned.

“I’m sure it must be. I’m making some food for you. After that you can take some painkillers and rest.” San sat on at the edge of the bed, carefully moving the hair away from your face.

“Why are you so nice to me, Sannie?” You looked up at him. San laughed at your question, reminding him of your drunken self last night.

“Because you are my baby.” He gave the same answer. Seeing him try to stifle his laugh, you glared at him.

“How bad was I last night?” You asked.

“You weren’t bad, aegi. In fact, you were very cute. I think last night was the cutest I’ve ever seen you.” He tapped your nose. However, you knew that was not a good indication.

“Oh no. What did I do...?”

“You didn’t do anything, per say. It was adorable how you kept reminding me that you had a boyfriend whose name was also Choi San like me. And you threatened me that he will beat me up if I try anything funny because he has been going to the gym.” He barely scraped the surface.

“Oh, just end me now.” Your cheeks burned in embarrassment. You dove under the blanket to hide. San didn’t hold back now, bursting out in loud laughter, even holding his stomach.

“Stop it!” You scolded.

“It’s alright, aegi. At least I know you remember you have a boyfriend named Choi San. And you think I’m strong enough to beat someone up.” San chuckled. Your fist emerged from under the blanket, punching his thigh.

“I’ll come call you when the food is done, okay?” He opened the blanket to lean down and kiss you before covering you back up.

Of course, San didn’t tell you how you gushed about him. That was a conversation only between drunk you and him. It will be his secret to keep forever.

“Aegi, food’s ready.” San came back into the room. As much as you wanted to stay hidden forever, the food he cooked made your stomach grumble. You poked your head out from the blanket.

“There’s my beautiful princess.” He smiled. He held your hand to lead you out.

“It smells so good.” You said, sitting down at your small dining table. It was ever only you and San so there was never a need for a big table.

“I’m glad. Eat more so your tummy won’t feel so sick.” San scooped you a bowl of comforting rice porridge. Even if your stomach was churning uncomfortably, you knew San’s food would make you feel better. He even took out some marinated abalone that his mother always send to him. You took a spoon and ate a mouthful.

“Ah! It’s hot!” You stuck your tongue out.

“You have to blow on it. It was just off the stove.” San smiled. When you took another scoop, San leaned forward to blow on it for you. He placed a small piece of kimchi on top too.

“Thank you. Aren’t you going to eat too, Sannie?” You asked after swallowing your food.

“Maybe later. Watching you eat makes me feel full.” San leaned his head on his hand. You gave him a flat look, reaching out to punch his arm.

“Stop that. Get a bowl for yourself, please. I don’t want to eat on my own.” You begged, knowing that was the only way to get him to eat with you. San complied, going to get himself a bowl too. You waited for him to finish putting seaweed flakes and to sit down before you continued.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked.

“Yeah.” The warm food was really helping to settle your stomach. San may not be the best cook but he did know how to make comforting food for you.

“Good. I took the medication out for you to take after this. Have it with the hangover cure.” San nodded over to the counter.

“But it’s so bitter... There’s a reason why I didn’t take it before I drank.” You pouted.

“Be good. It’ll help you feel better.” He stroked your hair. You knew he was treating you the same way that you treated him when he came home drunk after drinking with his friends.

There was always hangover cure in the house because you and San did not hold your liquor well.

“You really know how to take care of people, San.” You laughed. San chuckled, his ears turning red from your compliment.

“I know how to take care of you.” He corrected. You agreed, San was always good at caring for you whether you were sick or just not feeling your best. He always made sure you had everything you needed.

“Just like how you care for me when I have my down moments too.” San reached over to hold your hand on your lap. You smiled at him, squeezing his hand lovingly. You and San knew how to take care of each other, which made you the perfect couple.

“What would I do without you?”

“There’s no need to think about that. Because you wouldn’t be without me. Wherever you go, I’ll be there with you.” He grinned.

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birdiewriteslit · 4 months

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Hi ! I just love your writing ! ❤️ Also, I was wondering if you could write a story in which the reader is Thalia’s sister and dating Luke. The reader always thought that Luke liked Thalia and thinks that Luke only dates her because she reminds him of Thalia. She shares her doubts with Annabeth who tries to comfort her and Luke overhears their conversation. Then Luke talks to the reader about it reassuring he loves her for her and it’s all fluffy. Also, to add little angst, the reader has been traumatized by Thalia’s “transformation” and beats herself up thinking that it’s her fault that her sister is a tree.

thank you so much! sure, i can do this!!

luke castellan x daughter of zeus!reader

warnings: angst, self doubt, trauma, fluff at the end

sorry if this is bad i haven’t written angst in a hot minute

Your memory of the day you arrived at camp was still as vivid as it was when it happened. You, Grover, Annabeth, Luke, and your little sister were on the run from a horde of monsters, all of them attracted to the strong scent of the daughters of Zeus.

You were sprinting up the hill, breath ragged. Luke, Annabeth, and Grover were ahead of you. “We’re almost there!” Grover shouted. “Just keep running!”

You were exhausted, running for days with no help from any of your godly parents, but you had to keep going.

You looked back to make sure Thalia hadn’t fallen behind, but she had her shield up, showing Medusa’s face to the monsters that were catching up.

“We can’t outrun them!” she yelled. “I can slow them down, go on without me!”

Thalia started to run toward the monsters, but you grabbed her arm. “I can’t let you go. We can make it, please try to keep going.”

“I have to! Aegis will keep them at bay for a little while. It’s me they’re following,” she reasoned, her eyes stormy and unyielding.

“Thalia, don’t. They want me too. I’ll go instead, I won’t let you die for me,” you proposed desperately.

“You’re always doing things for me, let me do this for you. Let me repay my big sister.” She pulled her arm out of your grasp and turned to run at the monsters before you could stop her.

“Come on!” Grover yelled from the top of the hill, Annabeth and Luke now far in front of him. “They’re catching up!”

“I’m not leaving her!” you protested. Grover met you in the middle and grabbed hold of your arm, practically dragging you to camp as you shouted several curses at him. “Let me go!”

“I can’t. My mission is to get you across that border, and I’m not letting two of you die for the rest of us.” Grover was gritting his teeth, struggling to keep hold of you as you made it across the boundary.

You watched in horror as Thalia jabbed with her spear and missed, the Fury’s whip coming down hard and hitting her over the head, knocking her to the ground. She didn’t get up.

The biggest lightning bolt you’d ever seen struck the ground, sending the hellhounds into a panic. The monsters retreated, half victorious, as they only managed to kill one of you.

From the place where Thalia died, a large pine was growing rapidly out of the ground, and a magical force field spread across the woods, strengthening the border you just crossed.

Luke grabbed your shoulder, forcing you to turn away from the scene. His eyes were cast to the ground. He couldn’t look. “Come on,” he said, his voice breaking.

You walked past the strawberry fields with Luke’s arm around your shoulders keeping you stable. You couldn’t say anything. You knew that if you did, you would break down.

Annabeth was sobbing beside Grover, who was leading the three of you to the Big House, where Chiron stood on the porch, looking solemn. You weren’t even shocked by his centaur form. The image of Thalia’s body hitting the ground was still replaying in your mind.

You woke with a start, sweating profusely and breathing heavily. Five years later, and you still had nightmares like this. It was always the same scene over and over. You could never escape that night.

You slowly sat up in your bed, pulling the covers back and placing your feet on the cold marble floor. You rubbed at your eyes, sighing as you knelt at your father’s statue in the middle of the cabin.

You never shared this space with Thalia, but you missed her like you had. Sometimes you would dream of her and you when you were small, and you would expect to wake up and see her asleep on the other side of the room.

You stared into the reflecting pool around the statue, barely recognizing who was looking back at you. The girl in the water was tired, and she looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

Looking up at your father’s carved face, you felt that familiar feeling of resentment. He had never helped you. When you were on the run, the only gift he gave was weapons for you and Thalia to defend yourselves with.

After you were claimed, it was like you never existed to him. He never answered your prayers, and he was never there for you when you needed him.

When you needed help facing Ladon on Luke’s quest, he was absent from the sky. You were forced to return to camp, two failures who learned to never rely the gods for help.

Luke was the only one you could relate to in that way. After that quest, you thought of each other differently. Finding that common ground changed your friendship into something more.

Sometimes you wondered if Luke saw Thalia when he looked at you. There would be moments where he would look at you like your sister was staring back, and he would get this sad glint in his eyes.

You certainly didn’t see her in your reflection. You’d looked for so long to find something that reminded you of her, but you could never find something good.

You had an aggression problem, which was about the only thing about you that resembled your sister. The only people you got along with were your boyfriend, Annabeth, and Grover.

Everybody at camp stayed clear of you anyways, as they were afraid of what you might do to them. Of course, you were more powerful than the others, and they were scared of that.

The day was off to a rough start. You were fifteen minutes late for breakfast, and when you entered the pavilion, heads turned. You were used to getting stared at, so you were able to ignore it.

You ate by yourself, keeping your head down. After breakfast, your first activity of the day was Ancient Greek with Annabeth.

You were reading out a boring passage to her when she stopped you at the end of a paragraph. “Are you having nightmares again?” she asked tentatively.

You looked up from the book. “Why do you ask?”

“You were late to breakfast. You’ve been looking so tired this past week. I’m worried. Luke’s worried. He says you’ve been distant,” she analyzed.

You sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been having them again. It’s the same as it’s always been.” You rubbed your hands over your tired eyes. “I can’t get it out of my head.”

“You haven’t told Luke?”

“No, I don’t want to stress him out. Besides, he probably sees enough of Thalia in me. Honestly, I think that’s why he’s with me. We all lost her that night, and he just needs something to remind him of her,” you confessed gloomily, picking at the corners of the pages.

Annabeth raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What are you talking about? Luke has liked you as long as I’ve known you. Thalia meant a lot to him, but you’re different from her. You mean something different to him.”

“Do you really think that’s why I’m with you?” Luke said, rounding the corner of the porch and making himself known. He had a hurt expression on his face.

“I’ll leave you alone,” Annabeth said awkwardly, standing up from her chair and hurrying away from the Big House.

“Luke, I-“

“I’m sorry to eavesdrop, but you can’t really think that.” He sat down next to you and pulled your hands away from the book pages. “Annabeth’s right, I’ve liked you forever. Thalia was like a little sister to me. The only time you remind me of her is when you get angry, and I’m not with you because of your anger,” he reassured, trying to make you believe him.

“Why are you with me?” Your voice came out small, and you were afraid of what he would say.

He shook his head, taking your face in his hands. “So many reasons. You’re smart, brave, and resourceful. You’re strong and beautiful. Honestly, you could name anything you don’t like about yourself and I promise you that I would love you regardless.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” he said sincerely.

You took a deep breath, ready to be honest with him. “In my nightmares, I see us on the night Thalia died. I see the moment she slipped away from me and I left her to fight on her own. I’m such a bad sister,” you admitted, voice breaking a little.

Luke looked pained at your words. His thumb was quick to wipe away a tear that had fallen. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Thalia was stubborn, once she got an idea in her head she wouldn’t let it go. You know that. If we let you go too, we would’ve lost you both. We couldn’t risk that.”

You were silent, taking in his reasoning and knowing that he was right. You leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. “Thank you, Luke,” you said quietly, resting your forehead against his.

“Of course.” He pushed a stray hair behind your ear. “Do you want me to sleep in your cabin tonight?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright.” Luke pulled away and smiled at you. “What do you say we go zap some Dionysus kids in the strawberry fields?”

“That sounds like a great idea.” You grinned, already feeling much better.

#birdiewriteslit #birdiewritesfics #luke castellan #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #luke castellan x reader #pjo #pjo series #pjo tv show #annabeth chase #thalia grace #daughter of zeus #pjo disney+#pjo fanfic #percy jackson fanfic

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meeblo · 7 months

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@stalkiwi so, Muelsyse. This is just going to be extrapolations off of Mansfield Break, Dorothy's Vision, and the manhua. I think Mumu also appears in a vignette event or is hinted to, but I haven't read that one so I won't bring it up. No lone trail spoilers.

In 7-10, it's revealed that Elves are heavily discriminated against.

The Aegis of the Infected. The Yeti Squad was one of its subsets, and its members did not solely consist of Infected. The exiles, the fanatics, the maimed, Elves, Durin, and Sarkaz. The guerrillas did not fight for the Infected alone.

While the Durin can become recluses in their advanced underground cities, Elves have nowhere to go. We haven't seen any Elves besides Muelsyse. It's possible they have mostly died off as a result of this persecution. It's important to Muelsyse's character to recognize that she is a member of a persecuted minority, a minority that may have already been mostly killed off.

Mansfield Break introduces Muelsyse at what is in my opinion her lowest point. Saria is no longer at Rhine Lab, Ferdinand is swallowing up Energy and coming for Originium Arts next, Parvis is Parvis, and Muelsyse is entirely alone with no one to plead to but the negligent and indifferent Kirsten. Muelsyse's actions and plans regarding Anthony show just how bad things have become for her. She's so deep in the cuthroat game of Rhine's internal politics she's trying to adapt to Ferdinand and Parvis' tactics, but she isn't Ferdinand or Parvis. She can't manipulate people like Parvis or crush rivals like Ferdinand; her plan with Anthony is solely preventative. Gain custody of Anthony, Ferdinand can't get Simon Co and Muelsyse now has at least one bargaining chip... but what next? What does she do from there? It doesn't advance the situation, merely prevent things from becoming even worse for Muelsyse. It also reflects Muelsyse's increasing desperation that she's willing to think of Anthony as an asset and refer to Ifrit simply as the test subject in Mansfield Break. She's so deep into self-preserving fight or flight that her empathy is being pushed down. But this isn't working for her; she's still losing ground, her plan in Mansfield Break failed spectacularly when Saria freed Anthony rather than giving him over to Muelsyse, and pushing down her compassion is just paining her. Something has to change.

In the Rhine Lab manhua, we see Muelsyse before things at Rhine start to fall apart for her. She's working as an informant for Kirsten, but she's able to set that aside for what she actually believes in. Parvis is still Parvis, but Ferdinand hasn't amassed nearly as much power yet. After Saria and Muelsyse find the tape from Haydn Pharmaceuticals with the horrible things they put Ifrit through that lead to the explosion, Muelsyse closes the laptop solemnly and begins truly helping Saria rather than merely monitoring her. Throughout the Rhine manhua, we can see Muelsyse's compassion towards Ifrit. She has ulterior motives in visiting Ifrit to get some information, but we can see that Muelsyse cares about Ifrit, and continues to visit even after it's clear they won't get any info about Haydn from Ifrit. Ifrit isn't solely "the test subject" to Muelsyse, lil' Iffy is someone that Muelsyse wants to help save. Going against the cover up and continuing to dig places her in danger she could have otherwise avoided, but she continues anyway with Saria. Saria's presence at Rhine is crucial for Muelsyse to feel safe in taking risks for what she believes in. Saria is the backbone of integrity at Rhine and without her there are no checks in place on monsters like Parvis and Ferdinand. Even overwhelmed and weakening in influence, Saria's iron will provides a safety net for Muelsyse. It's implied in the Tin Man scenes that Muelsyse is the one leaking info from Rhine Lab (something Dorothy's Vision's opening scene confirms), an action very much in conflict with Muelsyse being Kirsten's informant. There is a clear struggle between Muelsyse doing what she believes is right, and Muelsyse doing what she believes she has to in order to survive among vipers like Parvis and Ferdinand. Muelsyse is so deeply trapped in the politics of Rhine Lab that she has no way out. There's a scene in the Manhua where she says something about having a good resume if things ever go south, but Saria calls that out. Muelsyse's resume means nothing in the face of the power Rhine has over its industry in Columbia. Saria can walk away because she's the only person Kirsten respects and because Saria has a will of steel, but no one else can escape Rhine Lab; Silence goes to Rhodes Island leading the partnership with Rhine, Mayer goes over as part of this partnership to escape Ferdinand's control over Engineering, etc. Rhine Lab has created a closed system in the Columbian scientific community where the only way out is to another Rhine affiliated company or one of Rhine's many puppet shell companies like HydeBro, Loken Watertank, and Haydn Laboratories. Muelsyse has nowhere to go, but she recognizes that she's clearly in danger, so she is forced to hedge her bets and lean on both Saria and Kirsten for aid.

Dorothy's Vision shows Muelsyse beginning to change after her loss in Mansfield Break. Playing the game failed, utterly, so she's more openly doing what she believes in. If she can't win anyway, she might as well do as much as she can even if it makes her even more vulnerable, so she leaks even more documents. This catches the attention at last of the Columbian military, and leads to Ho'olheyak stuffing her into a mechsuit. Crucially in the opening scene of Dorothy's Vision, we see Muelsyse attempt to call Kirsten for aid. Kirsten doesn't pick up, because Kirsten doesn't give a shit about anyone except Saria. The implication here is clear, in my opinion: Muelsyse was never Kirsten's informant because she was given the task by Kirsten; Muelsyse was Kirsten's informant because she was desperately attempting to make herself useful to Kirsten so that she could have any sense of security that Control might protect her from Ferdinand, Parvis, or the military. These frankly tragic lines as Muelsyse is stuffed into the mech shed new light onto her character:

Cold hard steel clamps down on the limbs, preventing any attempt at movement, never mind resistance. If only tears would flow from the eyes. Mother always said tears were powerful weapons. But the eyes are not cooperating. They have seen too many mountains fall and too many rivers dry up over the centuries. They have seen too many loved ones die. They have become dry, like the land after a nomadic city has passed through.

Muelsyse is old. She has seen so much conflict, death, and tragedy. She has lost too many loved ones, and been placed into mortal danger many times herself for being an Elf. Despite being a compassionate person who wants to do what she believes is moral, Muelsyse is burdened with the weight of centuries of loss and the fear of losing even more. She tries to steel herself to this loss, to stop empathizing, to survive, but it just digs her deeper. She attempts to hide her identity as an elf, does her moral actions like leaking info and comforting Ifrit in anonymity and secrecy, so that on the surface she can appear a crafty and formidable force in Rhine Lab's internal politics, but it doesn't fool anyone. In Dorothy's Vision, she tries to let go and do more of what she thinks is right, and at first all it seems to get her is days on end of suffering. But the latter half of Dorothy's Vision begins to prove her wrong; Doctor and Saria begin to prove her wrong. Their actions are succeeding against Ferdinand and the military, they are able to walk straight in to Rhine, they are able to place themselves into danger to make the change that needs to be made and walk back out unscathed and successful. Whereas Muelsyse always hedged her bets and tried to walk the line between Rhine Lab loyalty and pushing against corruption, Saria and Doctor have no such reservations. Muelsyse is shown that stepping with full confidence towards a cause you believe in can work, and is shown that her own leaked information is making an impact.

I haven't had any Lone Trail spoilers, but I have listened to Muelsyse's song, Morning Dew. I could discuss the lyrics at length but here's some verses I find especially important. I'll put it under a cut if you haven't heard the song and don't want it spoiled.

Overall, Muelsyse is one of the most interesting characters of the Rhine Lab storyline to me. She is a silly elf, that's right, but there's so much depth to her. She's a kind person, a silly person, and yet she also makes an active effort to try and be both of those things in spite of the loss and sadness she's witnessed. I feel that it's less of a coping mechanism, and more of an ideal she wants to be. Muelsyse is fun and silly in spite of what she's been through, not to cover up what she's been through.

Don't let the loneliness stop you from being kind. Don't let them say that your peace is a waste of time. Don't let them crush all your dreams, then change their mind

This first verse reflects the trajectory of Muelsyse's character arc after Dorothy's Vision, and her compassionate nature. She's no longer going to let others disparaging her efforts or outright opposing them get in her way of what she thinks is right.

This room was built for one chair only. I'm not empty, I'm just lonely, tied to the ghost of you. I can be gentle too.

The first two lines here reflect Muelsyse's loneliness as one of very few elves and her isolation at Rhine Lab. She's not empty like Parvis and Ferdinand are, corrupt to the core; she's just alone and desperate. I'm not sure who "the ghost of you" is here, I assume Lone Trail will make it more clear, but I have a few guesses. It could be Kirsten, Muelsyse joined Rhine Lab because of the kind of person Kirsten used to be and is now trapped tied to the ghost of Kirsten attempting to appeal to her for safety against the other sector directors. It could be Saria, that Muelsyse is tied to the lingering influence of Saria that remains at Rhine Lab after her departure. It could be Muelsyse's presumably dead mother we don't really know anything about mentioned in that Dorothy's Vision text.

Oh-ooh... letting me go isn't the only answer. Oh-ooh... letting me go makes the world spin faster. "No one like me" doesn't mean you won't like me. Oh-ooh... I'll let you go, it's a pattern on repeat.

The chorus, reflecting the amount of times people have left Muelsyse behind. Saria leaving Rhine is the obvious one that sticks out, but it's clear that this is a pattern that keeps happening to Muelsyse, and the "No one like me" implies that some of these people leaving did it for racist reasons because Muelsyse was an elf. Muelsyse attempts to make connections, but inevitably she has to let them go as they leave her behind.

Don't let utopia haunt you, there's more to save. Don't stop the search for the perfect, you're smart and brave. Don't let them sail off in anger, just smile and wave.

The next verse continues to reflect Muelsyse's compassion and desire to save people, in spite of being faced with opposition preventing utopia from being possible. "Don't stop the search for the perfect", even while perfection is impossible it's still worth striving for. The last two lines show Muelsyse's acceptance of all the people leaving her life. She's resolved to smile as they go, rather than be angry at it.

The ship takes off, now I'm the captain. Gentle breeze, I'll make it happen. I'm gonna lock the doors, no one allowed on board. I won't choose, I'm not ungrateful; making peace to quell the hateful. Look at the mess you made. I whisper as you fade.

This last verse before the song ends with the chorus again I hope shows where her character arc goes in Lone Trail. Muelsyse is finally taking control of her own life and becoming the captain of her own ship, no longer having Kirsten fill that role. "Look at the mess you made" probably refers to the mess that is Rhine Lab under Kirsten's willful negligence, who is now fading into the distance as Muelsyse is able to finally sail off and escape.

#arknights #long post #muelsyse #rhine lab #I am going to be sooooo normal when Lone Trail comes out #I can be trusted with narrative payoffs to long term character arcs and conflicts

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uss-edsall · 3 months

Text

I love ArmA III's campaign, because you are not special forces.

You aren't, even, technically an infantryman.

You are treated accordingly.

The result of it is a remarkable criticism in its own right of the worldwide fascination with Special Forces, and the morally grey-to-black work they swim in; viewed from the perspective of someone who isn't one of them.

Spoilers below.

ArmA III's campaign is very similar in premise to literally every previous entry. It goes back to its roots.

Preamble

In Operation Flashpoint, a rogue communist general destroys American force presence on an island, and you fight to liberate said island. In Armed Assault, the communist leader of the northern nation on an island attacks its neighbor just as American forces are withdrawing from the country. You play those American forces, fighting alongside the monarchist neighbor. In ArmA II, you play American marine special forces who perform pre-invasion operations in a Not-Eastern Europe Country, then support the marine invasion -- and then have to go to ground and fight alongside the rebels you were previously fighting when the US abruptly withdraws.

ArmA III starts out similar to Armed Assault. You are Corporal Kerry, an American logistics (truck) driver for Task Force Aegis, a multinational peacekeeping force formed by NATO, in the aftermath of a civil war in the Republic of Altis and Stratis. The campaign, set in 2035 (which was 23 years away at the game's release), is all centred around a time of a superpower being created through mass alliances.

The enemy is CSAT (Canton Protocol Strategic Alliance Treaty), a superpower created through a mass alliance of nations like China and Iran. They are surging in power as American and NATO supremacy/hegemony declines.

The Republic of Altis and Stratis is the victim of Great Power Proxy Wars. In 2026, a dictator named Colonel Akhanteros seized power, sparking a civil war between the former regime's loyalists and the country's military, the Altis Armed Forces (AAF) under Akhanteros' command. From 2026-2030, the Altian Civil War devastated the nation, ending in Akhanteros' victory. TF Aegis has been in the nation ever since, trying to prevent civil war from breaking out again and largely opposing former-Loyalist fighters. TF Aegis is preparing to leave in 2035.

Just days before Task Force Aegis finishes its withdrawal and leaves for good, the AAF - previously denigrated and constantly insulted by the Aegis members who had been training them to take over once they left - suddenly attack, overwhelming the few remaining Aegis members, and devastates the NATO force. Why they did this is not made immediately clear.

You, Corporal Kerry, are one of the few survivors.

Chapter One

In the first 'chapter,' of the campaign, during the destruction of TF Aegis you make contact with a British special forces guy named Miller, leading something called the CTRG (Combat Technology Research Group). They openly admit to be Special Forces, claiming to be British special forces in particular and performing clandestine operations in the country. They seemingly chose to throw away their secrecy to save the few members of Aegis they could. Less than a handful of your allies remain, rescued from certain death and brought to the CTRG basecamp.

During this time, Kerry, Aegis, and the CTRG fight a war of resistance against the AAF, securing various objectives and attempting to strike back, certain that NATO will send a quick reaction force to retaliate and rescue you. In one notable mission, you provide support to the special forces as they try to take back a communications outpost to call for help from NATO. The CTRG abruptly declare that all the tech in there's useless, they're blowing the place up, and you withdraw.

During the chapter, the CTRG members, even their charismatic second-in-command James that's immediately likable, make it clear very quickly that they're not telling the peacekeeper survivors their real mission objectives, nor what exactly are they doing there. This makes your Aegis allies uneasy on their presence. You, Corporal Kerry, are left in the dark for a lot of things, but James makes you want to like him. The fact they're Special Forces make you want to trust them.

Corporal Kerry, who by then has already pulled off some frankly impossible tasks to ask of a logistics truck driver before these events, doesn't much like this:

Kerry: Respectfully, sir, when the hell are you going to tell us what's going on? Miller: Saying 'respectfully', Corporal, and proceeding to be disrespectful somewhat defeats the purpose, don't you think? ... Look, I can't say exactly what happened. What I can say is what's happening right now. We're headed to Altis. There's a local guerilla movement there - FIA - the same guys that got themselves killed for us back on Stratis. We'll make a quiet entrance and link up with them.

The first chapter ends with you trying to escape Altis to reach the island of Stratis. The AAF finds you all and proceed to obliterate you and your allies with extreme prejudice.

Chapter Two

The second chapter begins with you waking up from having been knocked unconscious, washing ashore next to the body of a CTRG member.

You are the only survivor of Task Force Aegis.

The CTRG makes contact with the loyalist resistance remnant -- and it is revealed that the CTRG have worked with the resistance before. During the civil war, the CTRG were secretly supporting the loyalists; the same insurgents the protagonist was fighting for the past couple years before the AAF turned on them. Captain Miller and Lieutenant James are surprised as hell that you, Kerry, are alive. Pleasantly surprised, though. They proceed to order you to do another impossible task.

During this chapter it is revealed that CSAT is now backing the AAF. Moreover than that, CSAT has deployed troops to the island, not as peacekeepers but as reinforcements. The CTRG remains shady, and continues to leave Kerry in the dark. One mission begins with you supporting the CTRG and the guerillas in a convoy ambush, but abruptly, you end up in charge. The CTRG have some other pressing objective they won't tell you about, and they leave you behind.

You aren't special forces. They don't trust you.

Kerry: But - with respect - what about the convoy? Are we still on for that? James: You ask a lot of questions, Corporal. Don't worry. Miller will be in touch soon. You'll know what to do.

While Kerry's relationship with the guerillas starts out rocky, by the end of this chapter they trust him implicitly. He has fought beside them, bled beside them, they are brothers in arms.

At the end of the second chapter, you return to Altis, having wreaked havoc on Stratis and been reinforced by the guerillas. Causing great damage, it feels like you're making an effective push against AAF forces.

Then NATO arrives.

This should be happy, for NATO is finally here to save the day, except the first thing NATO does is open fire on the guerilla forces, killing Stavrou, the leader of the group. Kerry tries to call on the CTRG, begging for their help in stopping this - the CTRG do not respond. In the end, it's up to Kerry to make contact and stop the slaughter.

Except when you meet the NATO commander...

Kerry: What about Captain Miller, sir? He was supposed to establish [communications] with your main force. Crossroads: I'm sorry, who? Kerry: Captain Scott Miller. UKSF? Kinda ... talks like he's got a stick up his ass all the time? Crossroads: The British? The Brits are no longer operating in this area. To my knowledge, they've been out since May. And, regardless, we have no record of a Captain Scott Miller.

Chapter Three

The third chapter begins with Corporal Kerry disgraced.

Soldier 1: Yeah, that's him. The 'guerrilla' guy. Soldier 2: He's been hiding on Altis this whole time?

Kerry is all but accused directly of desertion. Some of the American soldiers even suspect Kerry was part of the massacre of TF Aegis. After all, he's alive and literally nobody else is - and he's claiming to have survived because of some special forces of a nation that hasn't had forces on the island in months.

However, all are needed to report for duty:

Armstrong: And - while we're on the subject, Corporal - were it up to me, you'd be stuck here spit-shining latrines until a court-martial deemed you fit for duty. Lucky for you, command doesn't feel likewise. But make no mistake, you fuck up just once - you endanger any of my men - and you're gone.

Not that 'all hands on deck' means you're facing great responsibility, not initially. You're guarding a slum. That is until CSAT attacks, and kills every member of the squad you were in while you were reporting incoming fast boats. You and the remnants of another unit are rescued by the guerrillas you'd previously fought beside. The guerrillas will only fight with you as their liaison, and so you're back in action. What follows is fairly typical war combat whatever as the American forces push back against the AAF and their CSAT support. As you secure an airport however, an earthquake shocks the island, albeit briefly. In the next following missions, earthquakes repeatedly shake the island.

After some more battles - during which you periodically fight with the guerrillas or other American troops - Kerry is informed that the investigation into his conduct in the "Stratis Incident" has finished. He is cleared of any wrongdoing.

The commander still cautions Kerry not to get involved with the "Brits and their black ops bullshit".

During the second to last mission of the third chapter, Kerry suddenly gets a transmission.

It's Lieutenant James, the second-in-command of the CTRG, and he's dying. He broadcasts his coordinates. You have two options.

Keep Kerry's nose out of the Brits and their black ops bullshit.

Respond and see ce quoi the fuck is up.

Endings

Option One

Kerry disregards the message and returns to NATO forces. Obviously you're not the only one who heard it. Your commander compliments you, and assured of your reliability, offers the opportunity to be a major component of the coming battle.

AAF forces are defeated. CSAT withdraws with little to zero fanfare. The AAF and Colonel Akhanteros give their formal surrender, ending the conflict.

Congratulations, Kerry.

This is the canonical route, as DLC and other scenarios depend on this to have gone this route.

Option Two

You've been advised by your new commander to keep your damn nose out of those Brits and their spec-ops bullshit, but, damnit -- the CTRG saved your life! James is your friend, he needs help, he's dying! Sure they're shady and Kerry was never trusted with any info on what they were doing - but…!

Kerry chooses to respond to the distress call. One last angry transmission from your commander ends when Kerry turns off his radio.

From this point on NATO forces will shoot you - you're considered renegade, a deserter.

Kerry finds James. James and his squad of CTRG troops were ambushed by CSAT special forces and destroyed. With his dying breath James requests you deliver a truck loaded with something called the Eastwind Device on it. You have to defeat the remaining CSAT troops, but once you get it, you deliver it to Captain Miller.

Kerry is at the end of his rope. He has come to dislike Miller greatly - but he has still done the bidding of the CTRG like a good puppy desperate for his master's affection.

The video below shows this cutscene in verbatim.

Nonetheless I will write it out, as it provides more context. Kerry drops off the Eastwind Device and approach Captain Miller. Kerry is beginning to connect the dots. This Eastwind Device is what this has all been about! The CTRG did not support the loyalists because their cause was one to believe in. They did not rescue TF Aegis out of the goodness of their hearts. In fact, it's likely the fact they're here at all is the entire reason why this war broke out, as the AAF invasion began within hours of the CTRG arrival.

They used you and your forces as disposable pawns, expending you in different actions to provide themselves opportunities to get at the Eastwind Device. The communications station? It was perfectly fine - the CTRG blew it up to delay NATO's counter-attack so the Eastwind Device remained where it was. Stavrou and the guerillas being blown up by NATO? CTRG passed on faulty information so they could tie up a loose end by getting him killed. NATO forces getting devastated in a major assault against what was supposed to be a lightly armed garrison, but turned out to be the single hardest strongpoint on the island? CTRG passed on faulty info so that CSAT wouldn't evacuate quite so fast.

Kerry's angry as hell, yelling at Miller. As this is happening, CSAT launches a massive assault against the island. Miller, saying "I like you," says that he has to go - but he promises he'll be back in an hour if you stay here.

As the credits begin rolling, over the radio you hear every single American unit you've fought with report that they are being overwhelmed, ending with your commander's broadcast before he too is killed.

CSAT, in trying to get their superweapon back, obliterates an American division. Ergo, in giving the CTRG the Eastwind Device, you just started World War Three.

There's a follow-on mission.

Whereas the previous mission ended in broad daylight, this one begins at 4 AM. CTRG didn't come back. All out war has broken loose and combat rages all over the island. Kerry desperately calls for Miller again. Like a good dog, he's been waiting for evac.

Miller: Kerry? Look, the situation has changed. It's too late. With what we're dealing with here, I simply can't take the risk. I can't return to the warzone. I'm sorry, you're on your own. Kerry: What?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Fuck you, Miller! I risked my ass, saved your life, all for what? A fucking suicide mission?! Miller! Respond! Just what the hell was this all about?! Falcon! Goddamnit, do you read me?! Son of a bitch!

They have abandoned you to die. Miller never intended to return at all.

You? Kerry? The lucky truck driver who always came back from impossible mission after impossible mission? A useful pawn. A gullible idiot. Miller has sabotaged you and yours, used you, TF Aegis, the FIA rebels, all as cannon fodder and distractions for his real objective. Every time you survived another impossible mission he goes, "huh, neat," and sends you out on a new one. Never once allowing you in to the privileged group of CTRG special forces because, even though you're pulling off heroic feats you aren't special forces. They never trusted you. They never were ever going to trust you.

You must find any way to get off the island, and in a remarkable show of giving the player free agency, you can have any escape route. Find a boat and escape on it. Literally just swim for twenty minutes straight. Steal a helicopter. Committing suicide is an option, even. You can also find a couple surviving guerillas and a scant few surviving NATO troops who can join you. Regardless, that's where the main campaign ends on this non-canon route.

Conclusion

The ArmA III campaign focuses on something very rare, both for 2013 when it came out and even still today:

The regular trooper, and what it means to be the outsider looking in on the Special Forces.

In the non-canon ending, the ruthless CTRG operators used Kerry until there was nothing left, and then dangled him out on a dying vine. You aren't SOF.

TF Aegis was a victim of the great power proxy war. Having learned that the CTRG team was after the Eastwind Device, CSAT forced Akhanteros to order the AAF to obliterate TF Aegis, hoping to catch Miller and his team with them. Their lifeline to call for help was destroyed by the CTRG team, to buy time to get at the eastwind device. In so doing they ensured the eventual total annihilation of the TF Aegis survivors.

The FIA rebels were victims of the great power proxy war. Their past connections from previous black-ops before the civil war ended were cruelly pulled to support CTRG in objectives that weren't related to their liberation. Then, when it was clear their existence would only help speed up the AAF destruction and accelerate when the Eastwind Device left the island, they got the rebel commanders killed in a friendly fire incident.

The American troops in the NATO counter-attack were victims of the great power proxy war. In order to get more time to get at the Eastwind Device, CTRG passed along faulty intel that got dozens of them killed in an assault against an AAF strongpoint. In the non-canon route, the entire division form the first casualties of World War Three.

Colonel Akhanteros and the AAF were victims of the great power proxy war no matter what. Forced to attack TF Aegis and invite the unholy wrath of a superpower alliance in return, it ends with their complete destruction and formal surrender. In the non-canon route, they are as good as defeated before CSAT utterly crushes the NATO attack, but it devastates the island in the process. In the canon route, they've been left to hang by CSAT, which withdraws once the Eastwind Device is secure. Even without all that, Altis and Stratis has been the testing ground for an earthquake creating superweapon, used as a pawn by CSAT on the global stage.

Everyone was disposable in the name of the great power proxy war.

You, Corporal Kerry, were disposable.

#ArmA III

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apollosgiftofprophecy · 7 months

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athena and apollo headcanons?

also guess who

@txny-dragon IS THAT U (if not i'm sorry txny is the only person i've really screamed about this with - well, and chronic...👀)

jfhxjbj,sx

Athena and Apollo???!!!! hrmmm...

Headcanons

Athena always got annoyed whenever she saw Hermes hanging around Apollo, especially during 'her' time with him. She's a competitive person, after all. Quit eating up her time!

Apollo got Athena to play the flute again - however, she only plays it around him.

He also taught her how to play the harp. Why the harp? idk, Athena would just look very poised playing a harp

Their first argument was over prophecy - Athena was experimenting with some pebbles for prophecy and Apollo got upset about it and complained to Zeus, who told Athena to leave prophecy alone.

Subtle bonding over being Daddy's Favorite and how that isolated Athena immediately and over time with Apollo.

Athena based her own parenting style off of Zeus's - the only parental figure she has. Apollo based his off his mother's.

The ~PARALLELS~

Surprisingly, their conversations can be like:

Apollo: Athena, NO!

Athena: Athena, YES!

Athena quietly felt bad after the Olympian Rebellion when she saw Apollo's mortal punishment - but she was too self-persevering to think on it for long.

she still snuck him extra ambrosia dessert when he returned and listened to him as he told her about how cruel Laomedon had been

They have friendly arguments over who's city is better - Sparta, or Athens. Athena's mood, however, lowers if Ares is within earshot. Then it turns into a yelling match between the two war gods with an awkward Apollo standing Right There.

Arts and crafts sessions - weaving, painting, usually ends with somebody (Athena) covered in paint and somebody (Apollo) tied in thread.

They both have "Can Use The Aegis" Privileges from Zeus - Athena uses them more often, Apollo has used it exactly once during The Trojan War

Apollo gave Athena the cold shoulder after The Trojan War for helping Achilles kill Hector. Athena tried to tell herself that it didn't matter he wasn't speaking to her - she didn't need friends, after all! - but when she saw how he would speak with Dionysus, Hermes, Artemis, and even - bleh! - Ares over her...it made her stomach twist in ways she never thought it could

She used Orestes's trial as a way to get back into Apollo's good graces - she really did believe Orestes valid for killing his mother (it was on Apollo's orders, after all) but if it came with the perk of Apollo's icy-cold shoulder melting? *zips lips*

As Artemis and Apollo slowly drifted apart, Athena gladly stepped in and started taking up more of Apollo's usual Artemis time - something he thought Artemis wouldn't notice, but she did.

(this, of course, leads to some stink-eyes between Athena and Artemis. platonic love triangle beloved)

Athena is the only one who suspects that the "flaying Marsyas alive" thing was a hoax - she was the one who put the curse on the flute, after all. But she never sensed the death of the one who picked it up.

When Rome came around, and Athena morphed into Minerva, it put Apollo off-kilter. He didn't quite know who this was anymore - sure, she was still the craft goddess he messed around with, and was a heck of a lot more interested in poetry, music, and medicine now, but...she just wasn't quite the Athena he knew.

He became more worried when the raging began. Minerva would flicker into Athena, and Apollo's heart would leap - she's back! she's okay! she's still here! - but then drop as all Athena would do is scream bloody vengeance upon Rome, and he realized that he was right.

Minerva wasn't the Athena he knew...but neither was the one before him.

When his fellow gods' Greek/Rome halves melded together after the fall of the Roman Empire, he was particularly worried about how that would affect Athena - and for a while, it seemed like nothing had.

(Though strangely she was suddenly interested in having kids. Not that there's anything wrong with that, he just never thought Athena would want to be a mom. She never said anything of the sort to him before...)

Then she sent her first child to retrieve the Athena Parthenos. They didn't return. She sent another. Same story. Over and over. Over and over. Apollo watched as Athena kept sacrificing her children for that damn statue the Romans stole.

Apollo tried to talk to her, to knock some sense into her, but nothing worked. Not until they moved all across Europe, and she finally stopped (for now).

In the modern day, they like to visit museums, art galleries, and theaters. Dionysus used to join them up until his punishment.

Athena attends every concert/party Apollo puts on. Partly because she wants to, and partly to flip the bird at Artemis, who rarely shows up.

(i swear i love artemis athena just isn't that fond of her. platonic love triangle beloved)

(txny if the anon is you...you'd get this next one)

Manwhore Manipulate Manslaughter. That's it that's the post.

While it's widely believed that Artemis does a lot of damage control for Apollo when their father cracks down on him - and she does - Athena is another major player in the game. (see: the Parthenon in Blood of Olympus - Athena being the only one to (covertly) defend Apollo, while Jason is the only one to openly defend him. Two underrated people, these two are.)

Why she can't openly defend him? It's because she knows Zeus sweats in his shoes ahem. becomes...concerned when his two favorite, and Very Powerful children form an alliance.

While she was unable to prevent Apollo's third mortality punishment, Athena believed whole-heartedly the entire time that he would return. He had to. He was Apollo, he was her friend, her brother, and he couldn't just leave her by herself die. So when Hermes made that betting pool? She betted on Apollo's success. Partly to gloat to the Council about being right, partly to throw the failed bet into Hermes's face, and partly because she liked winding Ares up.

I also firmly believe Athena was doing some deux ex machina on Apollo's behalf throughout the series. Artemis couldn't get away with it, sure, she had Zeus's eagle eye on her - but Athena? Why would Zeus ever consider her as a possible person to disobey him? Why I never-

The nod she gave him in The Tower of Nero is her equivalent of a bone-crushing hug.

Athena helped Apollo write his story with Calliope's help - they made two versions: the heavily censored version they gave to Zeus for him to parade around, and another, secret version - the one Apollo has in his library, the one Athena has in hers.

The one we have read.

#the oracle speaks #riordanverse headcanons #knowledge n wisdom #anon ask #ask and replies #asked and answered #apollo #athena #aaaaaaa #i love these two #the dynamic #also the parrelism of their children #one (athena's) are raised to glorify and fear their mother #the other (apollo's) love and defend him with all their hearts #it's like poetry it rhymes #the trials of apollo

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jinnie-ret · 5 months

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<---------- back to my youth

<---------- back to main masterlist

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

profile

in real life

Name: Louisa Flora Fenby

Nicknames: lou, flo, lisa, bee

Birthday: 28/06/2003

Birthplace: Rochdale, England

Nationality: english-filipino

Languages: English (fluent), Tagalog (some), Korean (learning)

Family: mum, dad, younger brother, pet cat

Height: 5'5

Personality traits: bubbly, trusting, thoughtful, imaginative, sensitive, defensive, naive

Hobbies: singing, producing, crochet, upcycling clothes

Faceclaim: beabadoobee

Likes: stray kids, kpop, sunny weather, giving gifts to people, cooking, dark chocolate (her fav), gherkins in her burger, green (fav colour), late night walks, long baths, cats

Dislikes: confrontation, brussel sprouts, sparkling water, moths, snakes, socks on in bed, big crowds

idol life

Stage name: sunny

Nicknames: sun, sunshine, flower, aegi sun

After hearing Louisa's full name and learning her middle name was 'Flora', the members soon understood that it was linked to flowers. Due to her bright personality she was compared to a sunflower, thus creating the nickname Sunny.

Fans gave the nickname 'aegi sun' to Louisa after partnering her with Felix as the sunshine duo. Being the younger one she is naturally babied.

Positions: lead singer, sub dancer, producer

Lou is not as confident in her dancing skills but is working on them as much as she can, she still enjoys doing it though. Her voice shines through as a softer time that can break through and stand out in Stray Kids' often fiercer songs. This doesn't mean that all the songs she produces are all sweeter, her own music that she creates follows this pattern but she loves to engage in helping 3RACHA experiment in louder bombastic sounds.

Aesthetic: bubblegrunge

Debut Date: March 25th 2017

Company: JYP

Training Period: 2 years

Habits: making random noises, hair flips, randomly singing, stumbling on her words, biting her thumb, full body laughs, tapping her hands to music, zoning out

Known for/as:

Pinky gap

Sunny has a gap between her pinkies that is visible when she presses her hands together. This is because both of them curve outwards. Fans were the first ones to notice and ever since it's been seen as another endearing quality of the girl.

Minsung's daughter

When you see Sunny you'll not see Lee Know or Jisung too far behind. Often in lives she's been spotted leaning against one of them or even falling asleep on them sometimes. They care a lot for the girl and their almost parental roles towards her only solidified the ship of Minsung more.

Sunshine duo

One of her most noticeable features is the freckles that are very visible on her face. Naturally she is partnered with Felix for sharing the same quality, as well as their bright personas.

Bright smile

Sunny's smile is one of her most charming points that both fans and members love. There are moments where people have commented on it because of how it entrances them, such as on Kingdom, Music Bank, and in music videos too.

Producer mode

During solo lives or behind the album videos, when Sunny goes into producer mode, you'll know. She doesn't become strict or lost in her own mind, but instead she is exciteable and tries out lots of different sounds, melodies or lyrics to fit the concept she is creating. These ideas that she comes up with bounce off of members and can be the foundations of some of Stray Kids' most successful songs. On lives fans watch in awe at how her brain is able to come up with such cool sounds and merge them together.

Trying tiktok dances

As said before, Sunny isn't the most confident in her dancing, but that doesn't stop her from trying different tiktok dances and impulsively posting them - she knows stays will love them either way. She likes trying new kpop dances or ones that are viral too. The video she did dancing to Blackpink's Shutdown is her most recent video she posted on the group account, and it caught a lot of attention.

Soft voice

Sunny has a voice that people love and can't stop listening too. She is quite soft spoken, but that doesn't stop people from absorbing every word. Being in a group as loud as Stray Kids, she still manages to make herself heard, especially when it's random statements or jokes that she's sharing.

Random statements

"Bang Chan tried to crowdsurf and then he fell but he got stuck because his ass is too fat."

"Sunny?! What?!"

"I should shut up now."

'British Queen'

Sunny comes from a town in Manchester, her Northern accent only making her more charming to her fans. And of course with one of her 'dads' being Han, the British comments from stays were at an all time high in moments he adopted the same accent.

'he's learning from his daughter'

'Sunny's accent is rubbing off on Han ahahaha'

'since when was aegi sun teaching her parents how to speak british??'

'Comedy Queen'

Even her energetic moods were enough to get the members into a fit of giggles, let alone the strange noises she'd make or her random one liners.

"Bleurrgh"

"Sunny we don't know how to translate that one."

"Sweet home Alabama..."

"Sunny sssshhhhh"

The members definitely loved their sun a lot, and she always managed to surprise them whether it was with her talent, her humour or with little gifts she'd make them too.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari

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zrreed · 5 months

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Hey everyone! There's a Goodreads giveaway starting on November 28 for my new book, Leading Aegis, that will run until December 20, 2023! If you're in the US or Canada, enter to win a free paperback copy, and tell your friends so they have a chance too! Keep reading to find out what Leading Aegis is about!

You can read the first chapter for free on Patreon, and Leading Aegis will release January 1, 2024 on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Lulu as ebook, paperback, and hardcover. Pre-order your ebook today on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, or pre-order your paperback!

Leading Aegis: In a world where Captain Carolina Trace could’ve been an indentured worker, or a soldier for a corrupt government, she chose the freedom of piracy instead. But what the rest of the world doesn’t know is that she’s cursed, and bound to her ship, Omen, for all but a few hours at a time. When her most recent quest to break the curse puts her on a trajectory to cross paths with Ophelia, a fugitive doctor, and Wyatt, a Sovereign soldier, she might just have to reevaluate the things that are most important to her.

What is she willing to sacrifice for her freedom? And what is she willing to sacrifice when her freedom isn’t the only thing at stake?

The cover art was done by the amazing @lesly-oh! Check out the full reveal on patreon!

As of January 1, 2024, I'm going to be publishing all future works as Z.R. Reed instead of Zoe Reed. If you're a Goodreads user, follow Z.R. Reed on there to keep up with my new stuff!

#leading aegis #zoe reed #my new book is almost here!#i'm so excited yall

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victoriadallonfan · 3 months

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So we’ve all talked about Victoria taking on the name Antares and what that symbolizes. The heart of the scorpion, a binary star system, Anti-Ares, Against War etc etc

But, as I was doing a write up about the symbolism of Gods and Greek Myth in Ward, something about Athena caught my eye:

> Athena's epithet Pallas – her most renowned one – is derived either from πάλλω, meaning "to brandish [as a weapon]", or, more likely, from παλλακίς and related words, meaning "youth, young woman".

And of course, it made me immediately think of Victoria’s mom, Brandish. An armored warrior woman who leads a team with her glowing weapons.

And funny enough, there are a lot of references to Athena killing Pallas (who is sometimes written as a separate person), on accident or on purpose:

> In one version of the myth, Pallas was the daughter of the sea-god Triton, and she and Athena were childhood friends. Zeus one day watched Athena and Pallas have a friendly sparring match. Not wanting his daughter to lose, Zeus flapped his aegis to distract Pallas, whom Athena accidentally impaled. Distraught over what she had done, Athena took the name Pallas for herself as a sign of her grief and tribute to her friend and Zeus gave her the aegis as an apology. In another version of the story, Pallas was a Giant; Athena slew him during the Gigantomachy and flayed off his skin to make her cloak, which she wore as a victory trophy. In an alternative variation of the same myth, Pallas was instead Athena's father, who attempted to assault his own daughter, causing Athena to kill him and take his skin as a trophy.

Which sounds eerily similar to the Fragile One (Victoria’s Aegis) crushing Brandish while she was distracted, and her arcs of grieving for her.

The other stories can be stretched to involve Victoria’s battle against Ophion (Pallas the Giant) and the other (Pallas the father) could be stretched a loooot more to be about Amy and how Victoria uses the “wretch” as a defense and later trophy of her own success.

Anyways, that was a fun little thought exercise I had.

#parahumans #wildbow #ward #ward web serial #worm #victoria dallon #wardblr #antares #glory girl #Carol dallon #brandish #new wave #Athena #Pallas #greek mythology

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trashlie · 8 months

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[‼️FP 237 spoilers] with nol's walls all the way up shin's "if you won't let me have you" is our only hope now <///3 tbh i had a strong feeling that nol would be extremely stubborn (after all, it's not just dieter and alyssa/"being like his father" that are preventing him from letting her in; the biggest reason remains yui) so i was actually hoping that shinae would be the initiator, that she'd back him into a corner and really push for it. but i swear to GOD if she shows up with a confession and he hits her with the "your feelings are your responsibility not mine" I WILL FIND A WAY TO TELEPORT INTO THE COMIC AND KILL HIM. LIL BUDDY JOIN ME. NOLAN PREPARE FOR DEATH 😾💥😾💥😾💥 i'm just HOPING that he's all talk and once shin shows up all his resolve crumbles ;; but it's starting to look like he's gonna need the time in jail to clear his head, sit with his feelings, read nessa's letters, and then yujing's article will probably make him see that there is hope, that things can be turned around, and maybe then he'll be willing to make alliances. but god i would HATE for them to part on bad terms i would HATE to see shin getting hurt again <///3 this girl has put up with SO MUCH she has given SO MUCH of herself to him and nothing is coming back she has been going through all stages of heartbreak how much more is she gonna have to endure i just UARGGHHHGHHHH.

-frustrated lil anon 😾

the thing is there is a big flaw in nol's thinking that someone needs to point out to him please. it's understandable that the stronger his feelings are, the closer they get, the more scared he is of what could happen - what yui could do -, and that he wants to prevent a tragedy at all cost. but boyo. guess what. YUI HAS ALREADY TAKEN INTEREST IN SHINAE REGARDLESS SO IT'S TOO LATE. whether you cut shin off or not, she is still in yui's trap!! she's actually *worse* off without you, so might as well join forces!!! GRRRRRR i'm seriously so frustrated. -lil anon 😾

GOD!!!!!!! /GOD/ Listen Lil Anon I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. All the way with the frustration, too, and it's so difficult because YES. I get him. I UNDERSTAND!!!! But HE DOESN'T HAVE THE WHOLE STORY.

I firmly feel like, yes, it is up to Shinae and her pure determination to tackle this, and I'm hoping he is all talk, or rather, I'm banking on the way he crumbles in her presence and how he can't stick to his guns because of her. I need them to sit and have a GOOD, HONEST conversation and I'm really afraid of how possible that is with the pace we're going at ;A; Like afkjalfkjaklfjkaf lemme lmao try to organize my thoughts.

Basically Nol lives with this fear that HE is a terrible mistake, a terrible monster, that he caused his mom's death and is responsible for all the bad things that exist as a result of his existence and caring for anything. Like, I am 300% sure that this mindset was drilled into him when he was institutionalized, that they basically took this child and brainwashed him into believing that his entire existence is a mistake because things would be so much better if he didn't exist.

He lost his mom. His father doesn't seem to love him. He's all alone. He probably said some awful things to his mom, before losing her, so it was easy to convince him that she died because of him, that he's like this poisonous gas that destroys everything it touches. But here's the thing. This is all he knows! He knows Yui is terrible - to him! He knows Rand is cruel - to him! He feels like he's a burden, a mistake. When Nana tells him how worried Rand was, Nol can't believe it, figures it must be because it's yet another mess for him to clean up, or because of his precious heir.

Nol may know that Yui played Alyssa like a puppet, but he very much thinks Alyssa's current situation is the course of her own choices, that she must've wanted to be famous, to impress Yui so much. He doesn't realize that she very much is trapped in this career.

He doesn't know that Yui has manipulated Kousuke for the entirety of his life, that she's drugged even her own son! He thinks everything she does is for his benefit, because she loves him, because she hates Nol the terrible bastard child born to her husband's mistress.

When he sees Shinae at the formal, clearly against her will, Nol believes it's because of him. I think that was the moment he remembered what happens when he cares about people, why his relationships were supposed to be fake, why it was supposed to be about him helping others and not himself. The moment he started to care about people and seek relationships for himself, he put them in danger.

Compare this to how he talks about Alyssa, how he never mentions her as one of the people he cares about, how he even brushes off the idea of her visiting him in prison. He doesn't feel responsible for her in the same way he does for Shinae being there.

It's not even that it's about Yui, exactly, but that it's about HIM, and that he cared about her, that because that friendship meant something, because she means something, he put her in danger.

Except, we know better. We've seen this story from an objective standpoint that Nol doesn't possess. Consider this: Nol only knows that Shinae was at the formal against her will, that Yui gave her a job at the company behind Kousuke's back. He doesn't know about Kousuke's birthday.

I need Shinae and Nol to talk because Nol's fears are VALID and I think we can see that Dieter can tell Nol's fears are not unfounded, even though he doesn't know what it is he fears. He just knows that he must, that bad things happen. But, right! Bad things have already happened! And they're going to keep happening! Nol is terrified because he only knows this small part of everything, and that this small point indicates it's because of him. But what happened at Kousuke's apartment wasn't about Nol. Even if Nol feigned losing interest in Shinae it wouldn't matter, because Yui is already invested. At this point it is no longer about Kousuke OR Nol. It's her OWN interest.

Shinae needs to be up front with him - tell him that first off, it's her decision to make, not his, he can't keep choosing to push people away without including them. But more importantly, she needs to tell him about the birthday incident. Tell him what Rand told her, that she'll never be able to escape from Yui's clutches, that she's already invested. Tell him about the offer, that Rand is urging her take it and use it for her benefit.

Nol cannot see beyond his fear because it's all he knows, he has nothing to contradict it or prove otherwise. But I need him to listen to Shinae, because while she probably can't fully change his mind - it's so deeply ingrained in him at this point - I think she can at least show him that her danger doesn't change regardless of whether she's near him or not. That even if he left her now and never looked back, it wouldn't change the hold Yui has on her. The problem is, can logic even combat his inherent believe, this psychologically deep fear he has?

But still, I want her to. I want him to read those letters in the Bible before he goes to jail because frankly I CANNOT TAKE the idea of them parting without resolution, parting with her still feeling like she's being thrown away, him needing to sit in prison pathetically yearning for her to realize how badly he cannot fight this. I need him to crumble in front of her, to realize that he cannot actually deny himself, that he cannot turn away from her ;A; I need him to be HONEST with her! She's already heard him in the alley talking to Lil Buddy, she knows why he pulls away. I want him to straight up tell her how scared he his, so that she can counter him.

Wouldn't it be worse, to leave her in the dark? To leave her behind and pretend that everything will be okay? AUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH

IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND HIM BUT HE'S WRONG AND I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE WILL BE TO LISTEN! I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE'LL BE TO ACCEPT THAT SHE'S BETTER OFF WITH HIM THAN WITHOUT.

Like.... at this point I'm really banking on Shinae's pure determination and maybe like... having to actually convince him because I know if she so much as initiates a kiss, he is going to CRUMBLE his brain is going to shut off he is SO touch starved and full of want and SO in love with her that the moment she initiates anything his resolve will melt away and it's OVER IT'S OVER.

But also I need him to read the letters from Nessa and see how badly Nessa wanted to protect Rand, and how he didn't let her. And how it ended up. Because Rand did what Nol is trying to do and it still didn't protect Nessa. Shinae doesn't deserve any of it - not what Yui would put her through but also not what Nol is putting her through. The Yui aspect can't be stopped, but he CAN stop the other so ALKJFALKFLAJFKAFJK ALKFJKLAFKFAJF FRAFLJ GRRRRRRRRR LAKJFKJFJKRJKRJ LIKE /SCREAMS/

I hope he reads the letters and realizes that it isn't something that will just pass. It wasn't for Rand. Even after he lost her, years later he still carried that Bible filled with her letters with her love with her desire to protect him, with the photo of their son. Rand never moved on. Even though he pushed her away and tried to be the responsible man, he never moved on.

Be for fucking real, Nol. You think you can do that? You know you can't do that. Rand never moved on, Nessa never moved on. Does he think Shinae could?

I want her to go in guns blazing. I want her to go in mad, I want them to argue because at least when they argue they're a little bit more honest, they say the things they might not if they were calmer and thought about their responses. I want her jealousy and insecurity to come out when Nol tries to shield himself with "I have a girlfriend" and I want her to remind him he said it was fake and he resents her. I wan her to look him in the eye and ask if he can really throw it all away, if he wouldn't have any regrets if he gave up and left her. I want him to fail to answer and instead tell her that maybe he can, who knows, maybe none of this is really real. And I want her to kiss him and prove to him how very real it is, how very much they both want it, and how very much they need each other.

They can have a heart to heart afterwards ;A; She can tell him about the Kousuke birthday party nightmare fiasco, remind him how Yui manipulated her and took advantage of her desperation, tell her what Rand said, that Yui will never let her go, tell him about Yui's offer. I want her to hold his stupid face and tell him that the only thing denying his feelings and pushing her away can do is hurt her more because regardless, she's trapped. She can't get out of her contract, she still has to face them! I want him to see that even if he can't get around his own paralyzing fear that that doesn't have to be the only option. He can leave. He can disappear. He can go away - as long as he doesn't sever that tie, as long as she still has contact. ;~;

Cos look.... I don't think we, or Shinae, could handle Nol leaving without resolving things. Even if it was a "he leaves and in prison he realizes he was a fool he can't do this he can't leave her like that", can she really handle him doing this? He had his opportunity to leave - twice. He could have left for jail and never stepped foot in her presence ever again, but he still went to her. And after they talked she told him he could leave, that she wanted closure. But he stayed.

He stayed and they talked and they shared moments and she told him all about her most painful straw, about why being thrown away by him hurts so much. He stayed and he almost died and she almost lost him and while the city was asleep they found comfort in their least favorite place together. While everyone slept they flirted and finger danced and danced and he hurt her again and how can he leave after that how can he push her away. He told her that what they did wasn't "just friends" that it was something more and all but told her to come back when she'd figured it out and she has and if he tries to push her away when she finally comes back I will KICK HIS ASS. Because if he does that how can she ever accept him back after? ;A; How can he shatter her heart over and over again and ever come back into her life? ;_________________;

So PLEASE I hope she can convince him, if only by refusing to let go, by convincing him of why he's making a mistake.

;A;

SCREAMS

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoiler #Lil Anon #ILY Anon #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMS #I'm gonna try and do my 236 thought dump but listen #i was full of soooo much dread and i still kind of am but not as bad anymore and i don't feel AS despairing #still kinda tho cos Nol is SO unpredictable but i just!!!!!#i feel like the Nol/Shinae talk has been hyped up too much to not happen but i'm also afraid of his resolve #i need Shinae to be assertive #i need her to take what she wants instead of letting him lead #i need her to fight back because THIS ISN'T HIS DECISION ALONE #she knows the risks (not really but kinda) and if she chooses him if she chooses to be a team THEN SHUT UP AND LET HER #;A;#I JUST ALFJAFKJJAFJKAFKJAFJKJAF #HOWLS #STOP HURTING HER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT #AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF #they NEED to have a heart to heart #he may not be able to talk about what makes him a monster in his eyes but she can at least dispel the 'logic' that it's related to him #that it's that witch and that whatever choices they make it won't change the outcome #that they need to be TOGETHER to get through because they're so much more vulnerable alone #i keep thinking about how Yui could use them against each other and alfjakfkjafjaf hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HATE IT

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