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#like a get a lot of cravings but it's not often i act on it because food is expensive
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🗒 ꒰⸝⸝₊ General Dating Headcanons ❛ ✧
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Featuring: Astarion, Gale, Wyll & Halsin
# Note: content warning for very brief talk of abuse and general trauma back to navigation ´ˎ˗
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🌿┊ASTARION
Talk about touch and attention starved. This guy wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it hit him in the face. Whenever you're nice to him or touch him without any innuendo, he's on edge. You must want something from him. Why else would you be doing this? It doesn't make sense.
Speaking of which, touching him out of nowhere usually doesn't end well. He has a tendency to flinch. He cackles and says he just thought he saw a bug, "Silly me," but you both know better than that.
He grows used to it, however. It just takes some warming up to. Eventually, the discomfort fades, replaced by a yearning so strong he swore he felt his heart beat again. When his brain realizes you don't want to hurt him and it's safe to be around you, he starts craving more contact. He's too prideful to ask, but he's not good at hiding it, either.
He loves any kind of compliment, don't get him wrong, but the ones that have nothing to do with his appearance seem to stick more. He's heard every single little praise possible for his face and body — but for his personality? For his mannerisms? If it ever happened before, he can't remember it.
Insists he doesn't like cuddling and only does it because you want to. But the one night you didn't, you woke up to him clinging to you anyway. He said he must've done so in his sleep, completely ignoring the fact elves can't sleep. Deception: critical failure.
Surprisingly protective. If you get hurt during a fight he goes ham on the enemy while yelling for someone else to take care of your wounds right now. He lost everything he had after Cazador — lost even himself to the hands of that sick, wicked man. He can't afford to lose you too.
The relationship started with him trying to manipulate you, sure, but that's not the case anymore. He cares. He genuinely cares for something other than himself for the first time in two centuries, and he's scared you still think you're being tricked by his charms. Again, he's too prideful for constant displays of affection, but he does say "I love you" more often than ever. Maybe if he says it enough times, you'll believe it.
He stares a lot. There's just something so endearing about seeing you in your own little world, oblivious to everything else, or at least oblivious to his gawking. It's the most honest part of you, the most yourself you could be, and he enjoys it from afar.
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🌿┊GALE
So needy. You leave him at camp for a few hours and you come back to him acting like he needs to be sent to the seaside for his health. A year of living as a hermit does things to a man's necessities for attention.
Loves your scent. He doesn't share his clothes with anyone (that fabric is expensive, dammit), but he insists you wear them so that they smell like you later.
Despite being a cat owner, he's very dog-coded. Will do things with the sole purpose of receiving praise or kisses from you and gets extremely pouty when he doesn't.
Speaking of kisses, he takes any excuse conceivable to kiss you. Good morning, good night and good luck kisses are very much mandatory. Doesn't even have to be on his lips, he's more than satisfied with a cheek or forehead kiss as well.
He enjoys being taken care of, even if he complains. When you scold him for not sleeping over some ancient tome, he can't help but feel loved. Will return the favour, of course — especially if it comes to food. He's very insistent with the "three meals a day" thing.
Will read to you, there's no way around it. It's relaxing for both of you, so he doesn't see why he shouldn't. He also says he can pay attention better to the text when he says it out loud, anyway. You having your head on his lap as he does it is merely a bonus.
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🌿┊WYLL
If this man has any flaw, it's that he's always trying to make every moment you spend together perfect and forgets to just lay back and enjoy himself. Even then, he only does it because of how much he loves you.
The last romantic! Goes all out with dates and gifts — fancy restaurants and the biggest bouquets you've ever seen. Money is no object when it comes to you. Truly a good old-fashioned lover boy.
Definitely has a saviour complex — the type to say "I can fix them" unironically. He just loved you and wants you to be okay, and if he has to drag you there himself he will.
Will go on rants about how smitten he is with you and how perfect you are on a daily basis. If you have to leave for the day, he'll write it as a love letter instead.
Always holding you close, but there's no possessiveness to it. It's a display of affection, not ownership. He's yours as much as you are his.
Loves taking showers together. Not for any sexual reason (though he wouldn't complain if things ended up going down that path), he just finds it incredibly intimate and genuinely enjoys washing your hair for you.
You're not just another romance to him — you're the love of his life, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, if the gods allow it.
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🌿┊HALSIN
Despite the whole "Desire flourishes wherever it finds purchase" thing, he genuinely doesn't see himself falling for anyone else as he did for you. It's nice to know he could still indulge if he wanted, but for now, he doesn't.
Loves having his hair played with. There's just something so soothing about it. Or maybe it's his wild shape talking, asking for pets. We'll never know.
Always finds an excuse for you to sit on his lap. Again, not for sexual reasons, he just likes wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head or shoulder.
Even though he isn't one for commitment, he has a constant, extremely severe case of baby fever. He obviously wouldn't push you if you're not ready, but he does make his sentiments on the matter known.
Stepping dangerously close to smut territory with this one, but he loves how small you are compared to him. The way he engulfs you entirely when he hugs you or how your hand disappears under his as he holds it — it's endearing to him.
I cannot go without mentioning how good his hugs are. Like, seriously. He's so warm and gentle but still strong and it makes you feel safe. It's the best thing in Faerun.
Loves how you look like wearing his clothes. It ties into the size difference thing, since they just look huge on you. Also, much like Gale, he has a thing for your scent, so there's really no downsides.
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rosesradio · 10 months
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#i don't mean to vent when i just got back on here but like#so i haven't had a midnight snack in months--just didn't feel the need--#but the night before last & last night i got a sleeve of saltines each--these were short sleeves of like 10-15#i got the box for my dad when he was sick because he asked me & it had been sitting there for maybe 3 months since & no one wanted them#but then tonight we had soup & my parents asked about the saltines & basically found out#& my dad kinda chewed me out--not about eating the last of them because there was another box they used--#but that that was way too much to eat & i eat too much & will get diabetes#which i feel just isn't true ?#without divulging too much i eat two meals a day (i don't like breakfast)--like a sandwich at lunch & then whatever me and/or my mom--#makes at dinner#maybe a snack in between but not often#& then some (like a serving size) of ice cream for dessert#like a get a lot of cravings but it's not often i act on it because food is expensive#anyways i felt so bad about what my dad was saying i started crying & he said i was being overdramatic. but i didn't finish my dinner#& now i don't even want to eat around him#i should probably just ignore him--i love him but he's one of those dads that gets so involved at work that he just wants to watch tv when--#he's off. & he thinks i'm basically the same person i was when i was eight years old--like i love mac n cheese & my favorite color is orange#but honestly i did suffer some disordered eating/body image issues in hs & i'm sure my relationship with food isn't completely healed#but it still hurts to see people think things about me that aren't that accurate#tw vent#tw disordered eating#rose.txt#To be deleted
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hyperfixating-rn-brb · 5 months
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The Good Omens Fandom has had a lot of fun recently with the knowledge of Aziraphale and Crowley holding hands on the bus at the end of season 1.
Soo here's everything that went through my head as I learned of it for the first time.
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For that entire scene, Aziraphale is really far gone. He's dissociating so hard he can't even realize he's been sitting on a sword. Crowley is probably the only thing keeping him grounded.
They just narrowly stopped Armageddon after a showdown with literally Satan, and still can't let their guard down. For the first time ever, they're completely on their own side. Now they have to orchestrate a body swap to save both of them. They wouldn't just be killed, they'd be completely destroyed. Everything must go exactly according to plan, but how often does that actually happen?
And on top of that, his bookshop, his home, his safe place with the demon he has to pretend not to love is burned and gone.
Crowley is so incredibly gentle and reassuring this entire scene. He's been through so much trauma himself and has spent a lot of his existence shielding the angel from it, hoping to protect some of his innocence and naivete. Crowley is absolutely familiar with every symptom of PTSD and anxiety.
Now he has to see his sweet angel see such a small bit of the horrors of heaven and hell and start to crumble inside. He's going to do his dam best to try and help Aziraphale through it. Speaking softly, ("the bookshop burned down... remember?) slowly and carefully, gradually helping to pull the angel back to reality, reminding him that he's there and will help ground him.
They get on the bus, and sit next to each other. 11 years ago, they sat nearby but separated while Crowley begs Aziraphale to help him prevent the Apocalypse. Now they are sitting together. Both an act of reassurance and unity.
Crowley sits first, Aziraphale could so easily just sit across from him, behind or in front. But he chooses to sit right next to him. And hold his hand. Aziraphale desperately needs to be near to the *former* demon he loves, to hold him, to make sure they won't be separated.
In the book, their famous lines of "none of this would have worked out if you weren't, deep down, just a bit of a good person" and "just enough of a b*stard to be worth liking" came as Satan rose from the earth, as a goodbye in case they were destroyed.
Luckily, that didn't happen and they survived. Armaggedon was stopped. But the angel is still so anxious of losing Crowley. So he chooses to reach out, to anchor himself and reassure himself that Crowley is still there beside him and that they are okay, at least for a few minutes.
And Crowley let him. He knows how badly Aziraphale needs him, he needs the angel just as much. He knows how badly he craved an anchor and support system as he was first abused and traumatized by his Fall, then further by Hell. So he's going to continue being there for Aziraphale, doing everything he can to make his angel feel safe and comfortable.
Over the next few years, Aziraphale would become so much more comfortable reaching out and touching Crowley. Leaning into him, resting a hand on his shoulder or briefly touching his chest. Somehow both reassuring himself that the former demon was still there, and reminding Crowley that he's still there for him at the same time.
Then Crowley becomes more comfortable with the touch, leaning into the angel by himself. No longer flinching at a sudden graze of a hand or reassuring squeeze.
That one moment of the two holding hands on the bus cemented so much of their relationship. "The last few years, not really..." all started on that bus the moment Aziraphale chose to sit down next to Crowley.
edited: at first this said "new knowledge" because I just found out about this all the other day, and wrote this up at 3 AM, and didn't really fact check when this knowledge became well known. I've only really been a GO fan since maybe 2021, and only really started being active in the fandom during the last few months, so a lot of info that is fairly well known is still generally new to me. soo yeah this was edited :)
source for anyone asking for it!
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anantaru · 3 months
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riled up alhaitham hiding his jealousy from us? hehe
cw. jealous alhaitham, he doesn't get jealous okay!!! lots of teasing, fem! reader
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you are aware that alhaitham doesn't get jealous, for anybody to even assume that should be vehemently questioned— but this time, he hesitates to voice anything out loud in an usually apathetic manner, rather does he resort to kiss your bare shoulder lightly, working meticulously as his kisses remain soft and faint.
that night, alhaitham was more silent than usual, it's like he had been deep in thought while also being closely intimate with you, "how insolent," he sighs out, grinding himself against all the right spots to make you arch into him.
you bow your hips deliciously into his shaft as he continues, "to think that someone would actually pursue you in front of me," poising on the edge of a witty continuation, you make him float back to reality the moment you dug your nails into his bare back, cutting him from his thoughts slightly.
"are you jealous?" you taunt, a slight crease appearing above your brow as he playfully smacks the plush of your ass, needy and urgent splitting your legs to settle in between.  
he looks a little agitated as he answered, "who, me?" he leisurely rubs his cock-head through your wet folds before pressing into your clit a little, as to tickle and trace around the fragile nubs, "don't make a fool out of yourself with such claims,"
"i do not get jealous," he says, simply, enough demand in his voice that it made you tremble a bit— and perhaps it also hurt in a way, for alhaitham to say that he couldn't possibly become jealous because of another person hitting on you in front of his eyes.
although it was hard to believe he didn't get at least a little irked— especially now when he's fierce and hungry and full of need and want for you.
alhaitham moves his hand before running it up and down your hips, clearly he's too impatient to taunt you tonight, but he still does it because he needs to keep up the act.
and it's not like he doesn't understand the brittle emotions he was going through right now— it's that those certain frames of ones mind vexed him, not to mention that they made it all the more difficult to focus on the current moment, which was you.
"p-please," you can hardly string two syllables together, your mouth hanging open as his lips curl into a smirk when he notices goosebumps quiver along your skin, "please, what?" the man retorts back, his rigid erection sliding up and down your soaked folds while making sure to nudge against your hole ever so often.
"just, ugh, just get to it," you pout, "please!" your body was telling him everything he needed to know as you writhe against his rattling trace, now warm and slick with arousal sticking on your hole and ass.
alhaitham grinds his rock-hard member against your clit, his hand suddenly letting go off your hip to grab his dick as he began to thrust it into the tunnel of his palm.
he towers over your body to rest against the nook of your neck, low chuckles ghosting into your ear, "you're not getting anything tonight," he coos, "or are you?" nipping and tonguing a spot where your ear meets your neck while he adds pressure on his shaft, resulting in him groaning into your ear hungrily, the pure filth in his tone finding a new focus for your cravings.
"what're you gonna do about it, hm?" he whispers as you moan,  surging, seeking, your fingers threading into his hair to force him to look at you.
"you're mean," you claim, your legs writhing as he inserts his tip in your hole, your voice already distant, drowning in pleasure when he begins to fuck you with his red hued tip.
alhaitham laughs lovingly at your crystallized mind, your scent was pungent on his nostrils as he moans brokenly at your familiar taste. he truly savors the moment when you draw him into your hole just hard enough to mark his cock with your arousal.
listening to the mellow rings in his vocalization was like a gold string tugging on an angel-like puppet— it's immediate when it tugs you from your dazed mind right back into him.
"no one could make be get jealous," alhaitham turns his entire focus to your lower half, "because i trust you," slowly inserting inches after inches of his shaft, "you're mine, this is mine, there's no one that can change that," he adds in a raspy tonality before you arch your back to grind into him, grinning against his mouth, melting at his words.
"but i am *not* jealous," well, there it was again.
but it's his turn to moan into your mouth as his grunts mingle softly in the air, his lips smirking, more ideas forming, "so do not ever say that again,"
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
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he set my house on fire, you lit my heart ablaze; when the smoke cleared, you stayed, coughing up ash with me.
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jh86 x reader: the revenge plot doesn't go as planned (ft. ex-fiance am34).
(warnings: blasphemous filth (it's on the tamer side, i think), unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), spit and descriptions of bodies and stuff like that, hair pulling (big fan), lots of talk about toxic relationships and being mean and using people and sad moments (we can thank this fictional am34 for that), oh, and slight bullying of tz11). idk just please be warned, don’t read if you’re not 100% sure.)
(a/n: hello, favorites. thank you so, so much for your patience and softness. today i bring you a story that took me so, so long because i worked so, so hard on it (and it's really long! 14k worth). we have checked all the boxes: terrible ex-fiance am34, sweet boy jh86, schemes and plots and the like. no, i don't think any of these characters are like this in real life. no, nobody acts like this, but it's getting colder, so i think a lot of us are craving that gentle domesticity. and yes, i wish someone had shown up with flowers after i finished undergrad midterms. there's probably a ton of plot holes but shh! don't tell anyone. also tried out a new format, the smut is in the middle instead of the end, let me know how you feel about that. anyways, i miss you and i love you and i think of you often and fondly. i hope you and your snakes are doing well and knowing what you deserve and accepting nothing less. let me know what you think, what you want next, etc. go canucks, of course. oh, and no, i do not think it's a coincidence that all the guys i write about are having a great season so far (except the ducks that refuse to play). how could it be? definitely a causal connection. all my love to you. until next time).
since you were a young girl, you had known that your greatest motivation, your deepest truth, perhaps your fatal flaw, was just how deeply you felt.
when you were little, that meant tears came easily, anger festered like weeds in a prized garden, and happiness felt like flying.
it also meant you could read others' emotions almost as clearly as your own.
it made you different, it made you a good friend, it made you the person you were. for much of your life, you had made peace with the fact that your well of emotions went deeper than others. you had loved that part of yourself, even.
but the night you broke off your engagement to auston matthews, you wanted nothing more than for everything you were feeling to disappear, to evaporate into the air as if it had never been.
"you couldn't've at least tried to hide it from me?" you had said, willing your fragile voice not to break.
and he had sat at the kitchen counter, that massive body on the stool that you had carefully selected for the house that you shared, that you thought you would share forever. and he had sighed, sounded almost annoyed. "would that have made it better, angel?"
his indifference coated your bones like lead paint. that name, once one you felt would call you out of a coma, would lead you out of hell like a northern star, now felt like nothing but a condescending, patronizing taunt. silly, stupid angel, the god might as well have said, how could you think you could ever be enough?
understanding settled like ash on your eyelashes. "you think i'll forgive you," you said, little more than a whisper. "you think i won't leave."
he scoffed at that, then. at you. "and go where?" he asked, sounding almost genuine. "where do you have to go?"
how superficially he knew you, it seemed, at that moment. how had you not seen this before?
"you honestly think i could ever look at you the same?" you asked.
he shrugged, his shoulders so imposing, stature so suddenly frightening. a body you knew better than your own, suddenly foreign. a ghost. "maybe differently, but still looking," he said, "your eyes have only ever followed me, angel."
and maybe he was right, but you were done proving him so.
"send my things to my parents' place," you said, cold, devoid of anything. emotion welled up in you like a flood, but you froze it before it could crest through your mouth, come out like some mythical fire-breathing dragon. you slipped off your ring, placed it on the counter.
you didn't feel lighter without it, though. you felt so devastatingly heavy, like cinder blocks were tied to your ankles, like liquid stone filled your head.
"are you kidding?" he asked. to your silence, careful pause, he tilted his head, shook it once. "you're just gonna quit?"
your hands were shaking. you could feel rage rattle through your body, shake your bones. you clenched your fist so tightly you wondered if blood would drip from your palms, stain the light hardwood floor that you had spent so long deciding on. "how dare you," you said, begging your quivering lip to still.
his smirk was cruel. "not like it matters," he mused. "you've never been able to quit me."
you had seen him mean. on the ice, sometimes to journalists, sometimes to fans, sometimes to you, even. but this was past mean. this was past elementary bullying, past joking insults that don't land. he was trying to call your bluff, trying to push you into forgiveness, trying to hurt you.
"watch me," you said, your voice made of ancient rock.
"are you mad because she's hotter than you?" he asked, his brow contorted in false concern. "is that it?"
despite yourself, a small smile pulled at your mouth. a smile that made your eyes glitter. a smile that should have scared him. a warning.
"she is beautiful," you conceded, because she was. what good would it do you to deny that? you approached him, then, in his personal space for what you believed would be the last time. he turned to you, your eyes meeting in a clash, like sword on sword. cruel, brutal arrogance and pure, pretty wrath. you held the side of his face in one palm, the other hand resting on his shoulder. "but when a beautiful person hits on me, auston, i say no."
his eyes flickered down to your mouth, simmering with lust. you laughed at this, at him, raw and true, let pity soak your tone like acid. "i'm not mad at her, auston," you admitted truthfully. "i'm not even mad at you." you patted his cheek, perhaps a little harder than you needed to. "i'm just so disappointed."
that had been weeks ago. you had moved back to the states, so embarrassed on the plane at how you couldn't stop the tears from flowing, until finally you were back with your parents in new jersey. they had welcomed you so warmly, so easily. it had taken a few weeks for the tears to finally slow, for the utter devastation to fade, for your red eyes to brighten again.
at first, it had been hard to remember anything but how his embrace felt like home, how tightly he hugged you after games, how his eyes shone when he laughed, how he had teared up when you had accepted his proposal, how he had gushed about picking the right ring.
but as the sadness faded, as it festered into something much more serious, you remembered less of the fairytale moments, less of his perfect smile, less of the "pretty girl" utterances in his rough bedroom rasp. soon the sadness gave way to steely rage, to an almost bloodthirsty need for revenge. for him to hurt the way he had hurt you.
and no one does bloodthirsty like a group of university-age girls. after catching up with your childhood friends, and getting them caught up on your situation, you looked at your confidants with eager eyes. "what do i do?"
your best friend from high school spoke first, banging her fist on the table. "burn his house down?" she offered. "steal his dog?"
her friend from college put a gentle hand over her fist, "i think for now we try to avoid the federal crimes," she said, then turned to you. "when my ex cheated on me, i got with the lead singer of his favorite band." her eyes shimmered. "and then bought his dream car and wrapped it pink."
you giggled in delight. "oh, you're good."
your childhood friend nodded. "phycological warfare." she looked at you. "who's his idol?"
you thought for a moment, tapped your fingers on the table. "i don't know if idol is what i should be going for," you thought out loud.
"who's someone who would make him uncomfortable? insecure?"
"his dad!" your friend said, making you shake in a laugh.
"his biggest insecurity is the spotlight leaving and not coming back," you told them. you had known that for a long time.
"being forgotten?" your friend asked.
"being replaced," you said, your eyes widening with understanding. "with someone better. more promising." you shared a look with your friends, felt anger solidify into a plan. into hope.
"you look like you have someone in mind."
a memory flashed across your mind like a shooting star, engulfed in flame.
"how was the game, aus?" you had asked when he got home, stirring the pot of soup on the stove.
you heard some kind of grumble as he dropped his things in the mudroom, made his way into the kitchen.
"what's wrong?" you asked when you met his eyes, sensing something wrong like smoke in the air.
"just this young kid," he muttered. "'s nothing, really."
and you knew then that it wasn't just nothing, because he never tried to hide things from you, to diminish his feelings, unless it was really bothering him.
you turned the stove off, approached him, wrapped your arms around his middle and hugged him tight. "who's this new kid?" you asked, muffled by his chest.
his arms pulled your closer, tighter. this had always been where you felt warmest, safest. "some h name," he muttered. "hicks? hughes, maybe?"
you smiled into his chest, knowing him, and knowing he would never have forgotten the name of this kid. knowing auston matthews never forgets people who make him feel like anything other than the world's brightest star.
"whoever he is, probably just had the game of his life," you had said, your voice a comforting lullaby. you had pressed yourself up on your tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "nothing to worry about, yeah?"
he had smiled back at you, but something dark had swirled behind his gaze. something like knowing, like ominous understanding, like an empire, falling. "already forgotten, angel," he had said, but you knew, even then, that he was lying.
the memory fizzed and dissolved like baking soda in vinegar.
you looked at your friends and smiled. "what do you guys know about jack hughes?"
from there it was surprisingly easy to shift from a tangent line outside jack hughes's circle to someone inside of it. you were patient, too, careful not to rush. you wouldn't settle for anything less than perfect, after all, refused to enact any plan that wouldn't end in exactly the revenge you sought.
one of the other wags from toronto, whom you had grown close to, insisted on helping, giving you the numbers of some friends close to the devils.
"i'm honestly so, so proud of you for leaving," she had told you over the phone, her voice nothing but genuine, knowing. "all of us, we all knew you were way too good for him."
"did you?" you asked, maybe a little shocked. having been so completely deceived, so absolutely blind, for so long, it was interesting that others had not been as deluded as you. to hear their perspective, to see what you had not been able to before.
"sweetheart," she said, gently, "everyone who meets you can see that you're good. that you deserve someone good." there was a pause. "and everyone also sees that he was never that."
you let her words settle like glitter on a childhood craft. "thank you," you said. "i miss you."
"we miss you so much. see you soon?"
you agreed, thanked her for her help.
"i hope he's good," were her closing words. "maybe better, at least."
having started classes with your old friends, intent on finishing the degree you had so quickly and thoughtless abandoned for auston, you had ample time to plot.
"feels like we're in a spy movie, or something," your friend had said excitedly.
"we'll be your guys in the chair," the other chimed in. "here the whole way."
the rest of the initial plan came easily, with the help of the people who were on your side, which you quickly learned was a group made up of more people than you thought.
very soon, it was time for step one, and you were in front of your mirror, having just finished getting ready, your friends by your side.
you took a deep breath. "what if this isn't a good idea?" you whispered.
they squeezed at your hands. "no going back now, okay? we'll be there the whole time."
"what if he's not interested?"
"look at yourself," one of them said, "don't be stupid."
"what is he thinks i'm a crazy stalker?"
your oldest friend shrugged, her eyes full of mischief. "what if you are?"
so you found yourself at a dingy, run down bar, the lights low. according to your contacts, this was where the team and their friends came after home games.
when was the last time you had come to a bar looking for something? for someone? it felt distantly familiar, but so strange, like hearing a language you spoke as a child but that hadn't graced your tongue in decades.
you had been with auston for years, after all, having met him when you were 19, him 23. a whirlwind, a tornado, a perfect tempest of pink dust and white teeth. a proposal two years later, a break off a year further.
you were 22 now, and had never felt further from your nineteen-year-old self. a foolish child, a delicate doll, a phantom cloaked in a desperate desire for acceptance, for love.
you didn't know how to flirt in this new body, new being. you didn't even really know to how flirt with anyone but auston - it had been so long since you wanted anyone else. and you didn't even really want jack, at this point. you just wanted justice.
a cluster of motion and noise behind you ripped you from your thoughts. you didn't turn, though, just stirred your drink, let the liquid settle again until you could see yourself in the reflection. until you could make out your eyes, until you could plead with your mouth to tell you what to say.
a game, the beautiful girl mouthed to you, a secret code, it's only a game.
your hazy eyes caught on a pool table in the corner of the bar, vacant, the lamp above it flickering. you smiled to yourself, made your way over, picked out a cue, ran your fingers along the edge of it.
you took a sip of your drink before setting it down, lining yourself up to break. with a swift, even motion, a pleasant cracking noise rung out, colorful balls moving in different directions.
you scrunched up your nose, having sunk none initially, gracefully lining up to go again when you felt a few figures approach.
the first one who spoke, the one right next to you, was not someone you recognized. you didn't even think he was on the team, but he had the build of a hockey player, probably a quick center.
"need a private lesson, there, sugar?" he asked sleazily, his voice the arrogant drawl of a child, almost endearing in its steadiness. he leaned on the table as you looked up at him, straightened, tilted your head to rest against the cue.
"awful kind of you, coach of the year," you teased before nodding to the other person who had joined you, looming across the table like a shadow. "gonna help me beat your friend?"
your new coach scoffed, ran a hand through his long, unruly hair. "trust me, sugar," he said, "you don't need any help beating him."
you locked eyes with the figure across the table, whom you had only seen before on a screen, the one you had heard about in the arms of your ex-fiance. here he was, the soft contours of his face shimmering in the dim light. the mythical and heroic jack hughes, the shaker of the unshakeable auston matthews.
he was shorter than you expected. "not much of a competitor, is he?" you asked the man next to you, talking about jack as if he wasn't right there. as if you hadn't been looking at him the entire time. "doesn't like to play?"
you tilted your head, dared him with your eyes to prove you wrong. the familiar fire of flirtation, of the chase you hadn't engaged with in years flared when he took a step out of the shadows, letting you see him clearly and up close.
during your research, you had seen pictures of him, but they didn't do him even a semblance of justice. he was gorgeous in a fairytale prince sort of way, like he might save the day with a true love's kiss at any moment. his eyes were a striking blue, his nose almost dainty, his jaw angular. your gaze caught on his full mouth before finally landing on his eyes again. he had the kind of complexion and expression you could tell lit up when he smiled. your stomach twisted at the thought. a game, you repeated in your mind. only a game.
"i'll play," he said simply, his voice goofy in a way you weren't used to. not sleazy, like his friend, who was currently behind you while you bent forward, lining up the cue. it wasn't the classic baritone you were used to hearing in auston, but something more cautious, something sweeter.
the game progressed, each of you sinking shots with the tell-tale soft thud. it was his long-haired friend, the one who kept calling you sugar like you were some southern belle, who was much closer to you, who was adjusting your hips and arm placement before each turn, who was flirting with you so openly, his breath hot on your neck, his gaze open and obvious.
even then, a quick exchange of glances with jack felt much more intimate than any innuendo-filled comment and fumbling touch from his friend. whenever jack would sink a ball, his eyes would flutter up to meet yours in a fleeting catch of flame, of promise, of knowing.
with only a few balls still on the green felt of the table, his careful voice broke you from your trance. "what are we playing for?" he asked, eyes alight.
the look you shared was teasing, probing, yet deadly serious. this is everything, the look said. are you ready to give everything?
"how about this?" you began, your tone light and smoky. "if you win, you get my number." his full mouth quirked upwards in the slightest of smirks. "and if i win, i give it to him," you finished, nodding towards his sugar-spewing friend.
jack looked at his friend. "good with you, z?" he asked.
his friend, z, you guessed, let a cocky smirk drape across his face like velvet curtains. "more than good," he said, "as we're gonna win."
with the stakes agreed upon, the game continued until only the eight ball remained. you lined yourself up, your ever-so-involved coach just next to you as you called your pocket.
"have a game, sugar, here we go."
you ignored his friend's voice, lining your cue up perfectly, the smooth wood resting delicately between your fingers, the angle of your arm and neck smooth and sensual. everything about your preparation lent itself to a winning strike, everyone at the table knew it. you could feel it in z's early celebration, see it in the slight quiver of jack's hand.
bent over the table, in the final seconds before your strike, you peered up at jack through dark lashes, all dim light and foggy promise. you gave him a sly smirk as you followed through, the black and white ball missing the pocket by an inch, hitting the side of the table with a soft sound.
jack narrowed his eyes at you with a curious sort of look before quickly calling his pocket and immediately sinking the ball.
his friend sucked on his teeth before throwing up his hands in defeat. "christ, sugar, didn't take you for a choke artist," he said. "unless you're into that." he shot you a wink before heading off to grab a drink.
for the first time, it was just you and jack. you leaned on your cue, let your gaze fall over him lazily, in the same way you knew he was doing to you. he was close now, close enough that you could see how blue his eyes were, how long his lashes, how high and soft his features, how his hair was just a little too long on the sides.
"you let me win," he said, a gentle observation, not anything accusatory.
you smiled. "prove it," you said, to which a matching smile graced his own face.
"must be my lucky night, then," he said as he handed you his phone and you typed your number in.
you laughed. "i don't know," you mused, "you seem like a guy who's used to getting what he wants." and he did seem like that - who could say no to those pretty eyes?
he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek, a motion you tracked. "'m a guy used to earning what he wants," he corrected, and you hummed. a distinction that auston had never made, even though he worked hard, sure. but he was a natural. what would it be like to be with someone to whom everything didn't come just so, so, easily?
"like to work for it, hm?" you teased.
his gaze dropped to your mouth for a second before returning to your eyes.
you stepped forward, pushed and poked at the imaginary line between the two of you. you looked up at him, gently swiped at his cheekbone with your thumb, felt heat rumble between the two of you, something volcanic. "don't work yourself too hard, yeah?"
without a second glance, you placed your cue against the table, grabbed your bag and made for the door.
on your way out, you overhead the conversation that had erupted in your exit.
"i was the one talking to her the whole time," that long-island-ish drawl said.
"if you think she was into you for even a second, you're an idiot," jack replied.
you swore the door was chuckling as it shut behind you.
everything had gone exactly as you'd hoped, exactly as you'd known it would, so you weren't at all surprised to receive a text the next day asking if you were around that night to get a drink.
so you found yourself at a different bar, this one a bit more upscale, quickly spotting jack as he waited for you outside. you blew out a breath as you approached, as a smile made his face glow. it was still so new to find someone else beautiful. when would you get used to his imperfect teeth, his oceanic eyes, his feminine nose, this greek sculpture opposed to autson's roman one?
you blinked. "hi," you said, suddenly feeling lame.
his mouth quirked. "hey." he opened the door for you, nodded. "after you."
"i'm gonna warn you," you started as you ducked past him and into the building. "i haven't been on a date in a while."
he shoved his hands in his pockets, a juvenile habit that made you blush. "find that hard to believe," he said, his tone playful. "pretty girl like yourself."
you scrunched up your nose at that. pretty girl. auston had called you that so many times, but for the first time you actually thought about its meaning. something flipped in your stomach at jack calling you pretty, but it was the girl part that had you pausing for a moment.
you were a girl, pretty much, you were jack's age, but you hadn't felt like one in so long. maybe it was being with someone a little older, but you felt almost ancient, so tired, so drained. but here you were, on a date, every bit the pretty girl he had deemed you.
you just laughed, taking a seat at the counter, smoothing out your dress against your legs. "real sweet talker, are you?" you joked, turning to him and meeting his eyes.
his mouth quirked like he knew something you didn't. "somethin' like that," he said.
the night went by fast, conversation flowing easily, no sign of pressure or anything of the like. you asked about his career, what he did that day, his family, his friends. he made you laugh, and it came so easily, so fluidly. he asked you about what you liked to do, what you were studying in school, how you were enjoying jersey.
surprisingly, you found yourself wanting to be completely honest with him, even though you couldn't be. you found yourself wanting to tell him everything, to answer any question he asked, to never leave him wishing or wanting even for a second.
you got hung up on the curve of his upper lip, on the slope of his shoulders under his button down, on his girlish laugh, his firefly of a smile.
the night was over too soon. too soon, you had the sinking feeling that you were in over your head, that perhaps you had chosen the wrong person for your revenge plot. you wanted to hurt auston, after all, but not yourself. certainly not this shimmery spark of a boy in front of you.
he walked you out, both of you pausing outside the bar, under the dull streetlight, a theatre spotlight for your praiseworthy performance.
you turned to look at him, and him at you, sinking into each others' gazes like quicksand, the air thick with expectation.
"i don't kiss on the first date," you blurted out, talking to his lips, talking to yourself.
he smiled, his shoulders rumbling in a laugh. "'s okay," he breathed, "like to work for it, remember, baby?"
you shook your head as your cheeks erupted in a delighted rosy flush. "goodnight, jack," you said, your voice every bit the giveaway. he returned the sentiment with a knowing grin.
the next day, you invited your girls over to watch him play. as you all settled on the couch, a homemade cocktail in your hand, you couldn't help but hide your face when the camera lingered on his profile during the anthem.
one of your friends gave a mock-salute. "god bless america," she said, shaking her head as you threw a pillow at her.
"alright," you chastised.
"what?" she asked, raising a brow, "just appreciating the wonderful offerings of our country."
your other friend shook her head. "you don't usually go for guys like him, eh?" she asked. "i mean, ever since we were in middle school you always went for the guys with biceps bigger than my face." she held her hands in front of her face for visualization.
"'s not like he's tiny," you said, almost embarrassed.
"no, no," she amended, "but he's no auston. he's just, i don't know, pretty."
you smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. auston was so masculine in every way, and jack was softer, somehow, pretty in a way you didn't usually go for.
pretty in a way that made you smile at your phone when he texted you the next day, asking if he could cook you dinner later that week.
you were blushing to yourself, the morning of, after he had texted you asking if you had any dietary restrictions.
and you didn't, but wasn't it just the sweetest, most thoughtful thing to ask? would you have even thought to ask?
i want you to be comfortable, his text said, i want you to laugh with your mouth full in my kitchen.
careful, angel, a deep voice called from the back of your mind, from the inside of your teeth. this is about me, remember?
your fingers twitched with the reminder as you stood on his front stoop, waiting for jack to answer the bell. the air had a brisk twinge of a chill to it, a chill that had your nose turning pink and your feet stiffening in your boots.
but he answered the door, and the breath you blew out rose between the two of you like a misty curtain, one you resented, because it distorted your view of him, even just so.
the mist settled, and his smile was left in its wake.
a smile that silenced all the gossiping voices in your head, left the throne of their malevolent king vacant, abandoned.
"you're here," he breathed, almost like he couldn't believe it, like he couldn't believe you.
"and it's your fault," you teased, scrunching up your nose.
he shook his head, laughed at some joke in his mind, stepped aside. "you must be freezing, baby, come in."
the butterflies in your chest soared as he helped you shoulder off your coat, his fingers leaving just a ghost of a touch on your wrist, the back of your neck, leaving scorched skin behind. you shivered, took in his graceful figure hanging your coat up on a hook by the door, let a smile come easily to your face when he turned back to you.
"what?" he said, grinning.
you let out a half-laugh. "nothing," you said, looking around as you kicked your shoes off. anything to avoid the white-hot light of his undivided attention. "i like your place."
and you did like it, truly, it was just so unexpected. homely, not cluttered, but definitely not the modern, futuristic, almost barren aesthetic you can come to associate with successful hockey players.
he flashed you a shy smile as he led you into the kitchen, bowing his head, making his hair fall into his face, almost bashful. "it likes you too," he told you, swinging his hand up to hit the top of the doorframe like a basketball-obsessed middle-schooler. you bit your lip to stop your grin.
what a pleasure it was to get to know all the most intricate and intimate manners of someone new.
"everything's almost done, now," he said, quickly turning off the stovetop and peering through the glass of the oven.
his tone was much more at ease then when you had talked to him before. he was at home here, and you could tell. he wore home like a hand-me-down sweater, too big in the shoulders and worn in the elbows, but lovely and familiar in all of its comfort.
you sat atop a stool at his counter, nervously rubbing the sole of one foot into the top of the other. "thanks for cooking, jack," you said, "you really didn't have to do anything fancy, or anything." suddenly, sitting here in this space, surrounded by the evidence of his effort, you felt guilt settle deeply into your body. unworthiness, perhaps, of the smell of food in the air, of the drink he had poured for you so gently, of the smile he kept throwing your way.
that voice in your head huffed. look at all this, he said, look at the burden you are.
and you were feeling it, so heavily, until jack took a sip of his own drink and waved you off, furrowing his brow as if confused. "'s how a date works, right, baby?" he said. he tilted his head, teasing, "tellin' me no one's ever pulled out all the stops for you?"
and you laughed, shook your head, because you supposed it was, supposed no one really had.
you got to know each other even better over the meal he had cooked, surprising you once again with how easy everything felt between you.
"tell me what you did today," he might say, his voice soft, muffled from chewing.
and you might tell him about your classes, how midterms were coming up, how you were nervous but felt pretty good about most of them.
maybe then you would ask about practice that morning, to which he would tell you some story about his teammates, how they were giving it to him all morning.
"why?" you might ask, to which he would look up at you with that bashful flush.
"'cause they knew you were coming over tonight," he admitted, pushing broccoli around his plate. "kept saying how i was probably gonna make you a box of kraft or something."
you laughed, a genuine rumble from deep in your chest, tilting your head back. when you looked back at him, he was looking at you with something like wonder.
and maybe later, you would ask what his favorite part of his house was, and he would say it was his wall of framed pictures, which would make you melt a little bit, your heart a puddle of feeling.
too soon, you were setting down your fork and knife, crossing and uncrossing your legs in restlessness.
"did you like it?" he would ask, his voice so full of hope it could have killed you.
so full of hope that you reached across the counter to hold his hand in yours, if only for a moment, to squeeze his fingers in meaningful emphasis.
your touch caught him by surprise, hesitant for a moment before locking eyes with you, simmering, then squeezing your hand back in his warm, callused grip.
a grip that said i'm no natural, but i'll work for it. for you.
"it was perfect," you said honestly, because it was. "but please, please let me do the dishes," you pleaded, looking at him through your lashes, just wanting to do something to help.
it would feel so wrong to be doted on for the whole night while giving nothing in return. at the very least, it would feel foreign.
he shook his head playfully, but relented. "you can help," he conceded, "but 'm not letting a pretty girl clean up my mess by herself."
you scoffed with a smile, squeezed his hand a final time before pushing yourself off of your stool, gathering all the plates and glasses in a single go.
"where'd you learn how to do that?" he asked, genuinely, as he followed you to the sink.
you carefully set everything down in a graceful swoop, let your lips quirk upwards in nostalgia. "once a waitress, always a waitress," you explained, referring to your short-lived stint at a busy restaurant in toronto before auston insisted on you staying home.
and at the time, even a little now, it was a sweet gesture, one you had taken as him wanting you to relax, wanting you to have the freedom to do whatever you wanted with your days.
you just secretly wished he had considered that what you wanted to do with your days was working, going to school, doing something for yourself.
jack leaned on the edge of the counter, his lopsided grin like an electric jolt to your heart. "what, did they show you the door 'cause you were making all the tips?" he teased, nevertheless making you blush as you washed the plates with soap. "not fair for everyone else, 's that it?"
you gasped in dramatic accusation, flicking sudsy water from your fingers his direction. "how dare you?" you exclaimed before turning away from him in a huff, feigning sadness. "'s not like i can control this face."
his mouth widened in shock, then took on a scheme-filled smile as soon as the water hit him, a short laugh escaping him. "you didn't," he said, dipping his hand in the soap and flinging some at you.
you squealed, holding your hands up to shield your face as he reached in for more, bubbles filling both of his palms. "wait, jack, i'm sorry!" you laughed. "i swear, i didn't mean to!"
"liar," he cooed, his gaze sparking like a lighter, you swore you could hear the clicking sound. then he was right in front of you, only a breath apart, so close you swore you could feel the beat on his heart in your own chest.
he reached down and gently held your face in his hands, the soap now all along your jaw and cheeks.
you closed your eyes for a second, sighed in defeat, still so aware of him so close, of his touch, feather-light on you skin.
when they opened again, you both had not moved, frozen in place, perhaps willed by the moment, compelled by the growing sensation of rightness, of being exactly where you were supposed to be. when he spoke, he was speaking to your lips, dragging his gaze back up to your eyes like it weighed something stark.
"do you kiss on the second date?" he breathed, and your breath caught, your heart stuttering at his utter politeness, his thoughtfulness, the idea that he remembered things you had told him.
you bit your tongue, because, if you were being honest, you usually didn't - you took the rule of threes very personally. you liked to take your time, savored that lovely period of what could be. besides, you had learned the hard way what happened when you let people in your life too quickly, too hastily. you knew all too well that giving in to a toothy smile and a sleeve of tattoos only led to shrugs met with tears.
but here, now, with jack's soapy hands on your face, in the space he had so warmly accepted you into, you had the feeling this boy in front of you was going to be an exception. that he would be an exception for many things, perhaps the exception.
as if hearing your internal dialogue loud and clear, he dipped his head down until he was impossibly close, so when he spoke you could feel the words on your lips.
"please let me kiss you, baby," he pleaded, his eyes hooded and heavy, his voice a rasp.
deciding he was an exception indeed, you answered him by pressing up on your toes, meeting his mouth with yours in a kiss that bruised.
and later, you would think about how auston had never been a please let me kiss you man, instead he had been a give me a kiss, angel kind of guy.
after, you would think about how it felt so much more personal, so much more sweet to be asked please, can i instead of being ordered give me, give me, give me, like a demanding, red-faced child.
later, you would think about how the previous kisses in your life paled in comparison to the feeling of jack's lips on yours. how before this moment, you were used to kisses that felt like transactions, like the necessary box being checked before the next step, how they felt like being swallowed.
after, you would swoon over all the details and nuances, but, right now, there was nothing but his lips, his hands, the way he melted into you and practically whimpered when you kissed him harder.
kissing him didn't feel like being swallowed, it felt like taking the biggest deep breath of your life after slowly suffocating for years. you forgot you had soap bubbles all over your face, you forgot about auston, you forgot about everything - there was only him, and you, in this moment.
he held your face like you were something precious, moving one hand into your hair as you wrapped your arms around his neck. he tasted like lemon and rosemary, as well as something so deliciously him you could feel yourself become addicted immediately.
his grip in your hair was soft, and when his lips moved against yours it felt like melting snow in the warmth of the morning, pure and sweet and natural and right. kissing him felt like waking up with sunlight streaming through the windows, like laughing while taking your makeup off, like cinnamon and clove and home.
when you pulled away from him, only just slightly, both of you catching your breath heavily, he opened his eyes slowly, almost reluctantly. his eyes were almost glazed over, and you had a feeling yours looked in a similar way, syrupy and hot.
he gently swiped his thumb along your swollen bottom lip as if testing to make sure you were real, not just some shadow, not just a dream.
you traced your nails along his neck, smiled as he brought his hands down to wrap around your middle, resting them on the small of your back.
"god, you're just so fucking pretty, aren't you?" he breathed, like a revelation.
you swore he had your head spinning for days after, days you unfortunately and cruelly had to spend apart due to a week-long road trip for the team.
you told yourself it was a good thing that he was going away for a bit, as it would give you a second to regroup, to revaluate, to familiarize yourself with what your initial goal was for your plan. you reminded yourself over the week apart that jack was a means to an end, that whatever had blossomed between the two you had a finish line, that all of it was meant to make a point, then hopefully leave this whole hockey world behind after the damage had been done.
but then one of your girls would throw on the game, and jack's expressive face would fill the screen, chewing on the fingers of his gloves during warm ups, and your heart would sink at the thought of leaving him behind. and it just about combusted at the idea that you were using him, even though that's exactly what you were doing.
you've only been on two dates with him, only kissed once, you reminded yourself. he's probably seeing other people, anyways, probably with some other girl right now. it's not like you're exclusive. this is probably not a big deal to him.
the thought was comforting but also devastating, a brick in your stomach.
while he was away, midterms came and went. as you walked into your last one, you thought about maybe texting jack after, trying to get together tonight, since he would finally be back.
then your pen hit the paper and time passed in a blur.
you exited the lecture hall in a flurry of relief and pride, happy to have accomplished something so concrete, something that you had truly worked hard on.
walking down the stairs outside of the entrance, your smile stilled, frozen in shock, when you looked up from your feet and saw a familiar, beautiful figure leaning against his car, an excited grin on his face, flowers in his grip as he locked eyes with you, making your breath catch.
"is that jack hughes?" some kid from your class said altogether too loudly to his friend. you had seen that same kid wearing devils gear more than once.
his friend didn't look up from his phone. "who's jack hughes?" he replied.
you couldn't stop your disbelieving laugh, your smile, already making your cheeks sore as you finished descending the stairs, until you were in front of him, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him in for a hug before you even realized what you were doing.
this was so unlike you, really, letting yourself feel as deeply as you could without filtering it, but anything else would have felt so wrong it could have killed you. especially when he brought his arms around you without even a second's hesitation, held you tight and close, so you could feel the petals of the flowers on the back of your neck.
"you're here," you said, breathlessly, still shocked, into his firm chest.
"had to make it back for your last test," he said into your hair, both of you not wanting to let go.
"how did you know?" you murmured, pulling away from him, only slightly.
he loosened his embrace, pulled away to get a look at you, let his eyes run over you carefully, indulgently. he pushed your hair back from your face, his touch gentle, like you were a relic, something worth treasuring. "you said so, last week," he said simply, like it was obvious.
he said it as if, for years of your life, you had wished and yearned so reverently for auston to remember the little things, like your coffee order, like the dates on which your parents were coming to visit, like your anniversary.
he said it as if it didn't mean the entire world that he had listened, that he had remembered.
you only leaned into his chest, looked up at him with something seriously dangerous in your eyes, something that was not supposed to be there. "'d you bring me flowers, jack?" you asked, a playful note in your tone.
he flushed, so lovely, hid his face behind the bouquet, peeking only one deep blue eye out, as if embarrassed. "too much?" he asked, still shielding his face.
you laughed, squeezed his bicep lightheartedly. "just enough," you assured him, your eyes full of meaning, willing him to lower his shield, let you see the face you had been dreaming of all week. "thank you. i missed you."
you would have told him that a thousand times just to see the way his whole face lit up, like he could never hide how happy your words made him. he wore the late afternoon sunshine like a dream, the dewy rays dripping down his cheekbones, the slope of his nose, slow and golden as honey.
he had this way of making you feel like you were first choice, every time, and it was so foreign that you hadn't known you had been craving it until he had laid it at your feet like an offering. every time he texted you to check in, to ask how your day was, to finalize plans, it would send a flurry of butterflies swarming your chest, a rosy flush to the bridge of your nose.
he was so, so beautiful, inside and out, that you effectively forgot what the whole point of your plan was in the first place. you basically had forgotten about it, that day that he dragged you along with some of his friends to pick out a christmas tree.
"do i know any of these friends?" you had asked on the way up, riding shotgun, reaching over periodically to run your nails along his neck, just below his hairline, your way of saying i'm happy you're here. and he would reach over and rest his hand on your thigh, not possessive, just a reminder of your presence. a reminder that made your insides twist with want, nonetheless, that made your gaze simmer.
one of the things you appreciated so genuinely about jack was that he didn't rush you for even a second, so happy to go at whatever pace made you most comfortable, whatever pace would keep you around the longest. it felt almost wrong that his acceptance of a slow pace made you want to speed things up, made you want to know what he felt like in your hands, what sounds he might make if you teased him, what his voice would sound like in your bed.
he let out a rumble of a laugh at your question, shaking you from your daze. "you'll definitely recognize one of them," he said. "though i don't know if he's fully recovered from your last meeting."
"oh no." you paled. "not him." you winced, thinking about how you had probably bruised his inflated ego. not beyond repair, though, you knew. for guys like that, never beyond repair.
jack traced circles on your thigh with his thumb in affirmation. "don't worry, baby," he said, "told 'm to be on best behavior."
when you arrived, you recognized that boisterous voice immediately.
"so good to see you again, sugar," he drawled, his tone especially toying.
you decided to cut any hard feelings immediately, going up to him and giving him a quick hug in greeting. "i think i owe you a thank you, coach of the year," you said, pulling away with a smile.
luckily, he seemed to forgive quickly, even to appreciate your efforts. "i prefer my thank yous in hot chocolate form," he said, and you promised to fulfill his request later. he gave you his name in exchange for yours.
you spent the afternoon leisurely ambling around the grounds, looking at potential trees, but really just enjoying the company of those around you.
most of the time, you spent laughing, tucked into jack's side, finding warmth in the firm feeling of his hip against your waist.
"what about this one?" trevor asked, holding up an especially short and stout one.
the two of you decided jack would need a taller one to better suit the ceiling proportions in his living room.
walking around, it felt like you were in your own dreamy winter wonderland, in a fog of laughter and warmth and a million other beautiful things.
"you leave again tomorrow?" you asked at one point, unable to hide the slight disappointment in your voice. you peered up at him, your eyes warm, your cheeks rosy from the cold.
he met your gaze and nodded, hugged you tighter into his side. "back in a few days," he said.
you couldn't help but pout just a little. jack's roadtrips felt longer and more lonely than auston's ever had.
jack ran his thumb along your bottom lip. "what's that for, baby?" he asked.
you shrugged. "just gonna miss you, 's all," you told him honestly.
something sweet bubbled up in his gaze, but the moment was effectively interrupted by trevor's voice coming from behind you, now shockingly close.
"oh?" he said, dramatic, "what's this? is that - mistletoe?" he emphasized all of his words with dramatic pauses. you briefly thought that maybe, if he hadn't been all in on hockey, he would have made an excellent theater kid.
you both turned to find trevor standing right behind you, holding an alarmingly large branch of something that resembled mistletoe.
"where did you find that?" jack asked his friend.
"never mind that," trevor said, waving him off.
you elbowed jack lightly. "looking for an excuse not to kiss me, are you?"
he shook his head incredulously, as if you had said something funny. you were about to tease him again, but he didn't give you the chance, immediately taking your face in his hands and angling his head down slightly to meet you in a kiss that seared every bit of chill from the air.
would you ever get used to this? would his lips ever not feel like they belonged on yours? would your heartbeat ever not thrum, like some perfect harmony?
the warmth of his hands on your face, the security of yours against the plane of his chest, all of it, everything - it was so perfect you wanted to stay here, just like this, forever. and the thought didn't even scare you as want began to pool inside of you, hot and heavy.
a mixture of a cough and a laugh had the two of you pulling away from each other. one of jack's other friends who had tagged along let out a low whistle, making you blush deeper.
jack just slung a heavy arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, pressing his lips to the top of your head.
luckily, trevor's attention had already strayed, as he was now holding the branch over his own head and the head of the other friend. "don't fight it!" he was calling out as the friend broke out into a light gait.
"get away from me, you scumbag," the poor kid called out over his shoulder.
your eyes were stuck on jack's face, still hazy from your kiss. he turned to you, his mouth quirking up. "staring, baby?" he said, low enough for only you to hear.
you nodded, shameless. "want you," you told him plainly, barely recognizing the tone of your own voice.
the fire in his own eyes welled up as you placed your hands flat on his chest. "fuck, now, baby?" he asked, looking around to where his friends chased each other around.
you bit your lip, pleaded him with your eyes. "please, jack," you said, "please take me home."
he took your hand in his immediately, tossed some parting words over his shoulder to his friends, who paused, watched the two of you stumble into jack's car with urgency.
as he started the engine and pulled away, you heard a faint the hell are we supposed to do with this tree?
the car ride back felt longer than it really was, both of you practically buzzing with want. you kept a hand in his hair, his palm planted firmly on the inside of your thigh, close but not close enough.
you let out a sigh of relief when he pulled into the driveway, let him pull you into the house, push you up against the closed door, kiss you again with heat and force and somehow, such softness.
it was the softness that filled you with want. his desire was obvious, especially when he pressed his hips up, hard against you, but that didn't mean he wasn't just so gentle with you, so in tune to what you wanted.
you fisted your hands in his hair, pulled until his posture faltered, until his lips parted further and he moaned into your mouth.
you hooked a leg around his hip to bring him closer, relished the way he began to rock against you.
"fuck, baby," he breathed out, strained, stuttering in places, "don't wanna fuck you against the door."
later, you would think about how auston had never had such a problem. he had never cared where you were, how uncomfortable a position had made you. sometimes you had thought he found his own bed boring.
but jack just pulled you into his room, lightly rocked you back onto the bed, pressed soft kisses down your jaw, your neck, your stomach. you both pushed and pulled clothes aside, looking to give the other as much access as possible.
"so fuckin' pretty," he mumbled against your stomach, making you flush all over.
"please, jack," you whined as he slowly dragged his fingers through your folds, making you shiver.
"what do you need, baby?" he asked, pumping himself a few times, up and down, his voice low and rough.
you sat up for a moment, took hold of his hand, peered up at him through your lashes as you spit into it.
he groaned, ran his hand over his cock, now glistening with your spit. desire glowed in your eyes like fireflies. "tell me," he begged.
you laid back on the bed again, the smell of him everywhere. another time, you would insist on feeling him in your mouth, maybe on feeling his mouth on you, but you knew the both of you were far too desperate for that.
"just need you inside me, baby, please," you said, your eyes raking over his figure above you, all gentle slopes and hard lines together.
"ask me so good, baby, so good for me," he said, a careful rasp. he thumbed your clit, making you jolt, dragging his fingers through you again before bringing them to his mouth. "and so ready, hm?"
you nodded feverishly, your mouth falling open as he finally pushed into you, his groan deep.
you whined, the stretch so surreal as you reached forward to grasp at his forearm, anything to ground you.
staying still in the stretch for a second, you waited for the feeling to weaken, but it didn't, not really.
he dropped his head, his exhale coming out shallow, the muscles in his shoulders constrained.
you tightened your grip on his forearm, let your nails dig into him to pull him back to you.
"fuck, baby, i can't," he bit out, "can't, i swear."
you rolled your hips back and forth, trying to will some movement from him. "please, jack, please move," you begged. "please fuck me, baby."
never one to deny you, he began a slow pace, the friction and depth almost unbearable. one of his hands dug into your hip, so hard you could feel bruising, the other beginning to rub careful circles on your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.
"you're so deep," you choked, "faster, baby, need you faster."
he obliged, picking up the pace of his rhythm, moving his hand faster against your clit, making that wave well up within you, forcing moans from your throat.
"fuck, sound so pretty, baby," he said, a glistening sheen now painted across his brow, his collarbones. "so pretty, squeezing me so perfect."
the muscles of his stomach began to contract as you felt yourself dangerously close.
his rhythm continued, bruising in depth and force, so lovely in softness. you tugged his hand from your hip, placed his fingers on your tongue, desperate for something to do with your mouth. you sucked, pulling a guttural moan from him. "don't stand a chance when you do that, baby, swear," he said, "fuck, don't stand a chance with you, hm?"
you felt yourself smile around his hand, your eyes watering, glazed over.
"gonna make me cum, baby," he whined, his motions becoming jerky, his voice little more than a plea. "cum with me, baby, hm? make me feel so good, yeah?"
you fell over the edge at his words, felt his orgasm follow yours almost immediately, the air warm and sticky around you. he collapsed on top of you, his exhales like liquid on your skin, yours like dreamy sighs as he pulled you to him, held you close as you waited for the rise and fall of your chests to settle.
he drew his fingers lazily around the flesh of your thigh, your hip, you pushed his hair back from his face as you both fought sleep, wanting just a few more seconds in the conscious presence of the other.
everything was so lovely you could barely stand it.
you should have known it wouldn't last long.
a day into jack's time away, you received a text from one of your friends in toronto. it was a picture from auston's instagram with the message just thought you should know. we miss you.
something cracked in your chest at the photo of your ex-fiance and this new girl. it wasn't really jealousy, definitely not desire, no, it was harder to pinpoint.
maybe it was the fact that after four years of being together, and after a whole year of being engaged, auston had never once even thought about posting a picture of the two of you.
and you had always chalked it up to the fact that you didn't have any social media, but now, you realized there was something to be said about letting the world know that you were taken.
and you also knew, now, that that was a statement auston had been unable to make your entire relationship.
a voice in the back of your mind, tone watery with tears, wailed. what makes her so special? it pressed. what makes her so much better than me?
it didn't help that she looked absolutely nothing like you. you wondered passingly if you would have preferred a look-a-like to be staring back at you through your screen. you didn't really know, but you did know that her features were sharp to your soft, your eyes are hair completely different in coloring. her face had you questioning if he had ever really found you beautiful, or if you had been the exception to his regular type. the idea weighed heavily on your shoulders like a cape made of cement.
but you knew, at the end of the day, that it was not about her.
and so you decided that as much as your relationship with jack had become genuine, maybe it was time to bring back the plan, just a little.
it can be two things, you told yourself, jack doesn't need to get hurt.
so when jack arrived back from the road, your relationship now teetered on a tightrope, balancing between two things, two motives like a trapeze artist.
still, you tried your best not to let your desire to rip out the heart of your ex-fiance stand in between you and jack. you could be bloodthirsty and gentle at the same time, you told yourself. two things.
the idea became easier when jack began to ask you to come to his games.
at first, you had been skeptical. auston hadn't wanted you there until maybe a year and half into your relationship. you didn't want to push this, press your luck, make yourself a burden, in fear of him abandoning you.
"are you sure you want me there?" you had asked the first time, a little timid, your face resting on your clasped hands, sitting at his kitchen counter, keeping him company as he made something on the stove.
he had turned to you, head tilted, confused. "of course i do, baby," he had said, calmly and clearly. "i want you everywhere i am."
and that had been the end of that.
so you began to become a regular attendee at his games, getting to know the people of his life more closely, becoming a fixture in his life more solidly.
you let him post a picture of the two of you, so touched that he would even ask. he showed you the post when he was done.
you kissed his shoulder in response. "your eyes are closed, jack," you said, half-laughing at the fact that he had chosen this picture, so flawed in nature.
"hm?" he looked at the picture again, then shrugged. "hadn't noticed. no one's gonna be looking at me, anyways."
you shook your head, disbelieving. he was making it hard for this to be two things. he was making it really, really hard to care if your ex-fiance even saw this post. he was making it really hard to care about your ex-fiance at all.
"i don't believe you, sometimes," you mused aloud.
he twirled a lock of your hair, mesmerized. "how?"
you tilted your head back to allow him easier access. "you're pretty perfect, you know that?" you smiled up at him, blissful. "too perfect."
seeing his face go pink with your praise made you make a mental vow to tell him more often.
and he gave you every opportunity to be surprised by his perfection, over and over.
every kiss was something teenage you would have dreamed about, every time he led you into his bedroom was something current you dreamed about. how he seemed to enjoy every moment no matter what you were doing, even how clearly he communicated with you during your first fight, all of it astounded you.
he made all of your friends jealous, but so happy for you. he met them, one time, when he dropped you off to get coffee with them after class.
he was so respectful with them, asked them genuine questions, but never anything that told you that he wasn't in on you one hundred percent.
when auston met your best friend in toronto, he had dropped your hand that he had been holding.
"didn't tell me she was so pretty, angel," he had said, and you had hoped it was just to show you he was putting in an effort to impress the people that were important to you.
when jack said he had to be going, to get to morning skate, he just kissed your cheek. "use my card, yeah, baby?" he called out, waiting for your nod and smile before he drove away.
how had you stumbled into this? was it possible that it wasn't too good to be true?
jack had asked you to come to toronto when the devils headed up north to play the leafs, because he knew you had lived there, because he had lived there, too, and wanted to show you around. and it had reached a point where refusing him when he offered a piece of himself to you seemed cruelly impossible.
you told yourself that it was just another game, just another day. it helped that you honestly didn't feel any attachment to this rink, even to this city. you had watched jack play plenty, now, and you were determined to treat this game just the same as any other, if not rooting for jack with just a little more urgency, a little more emotion.
you loved how easy he was to cheer for. you loved how you could see how much he loved the game, how he smiled after every good play, how he saw things you could have never seen on the ice. you could practically hear his laugh in the rafters, see his imperfect teeth in the glass. he was everywhere, here, are you loved it.
of course, you noticed that your ex-fiance was here, but it honestly wasn't even that bad. if anything, it was confirmation that you were over him, that what you had with jack was real, that you weren't in for revenge anymore. you weren't in this for auston at all.
until he scored, and his goal song echoed through the arena. you knew that this year, the leafs had decided to try out individual goal songs after players scored, songs that they chose before the season started.
you did not know, however, that auston matthews' goal song was the song that, months ago, was set to be the soundtrack to your first dance.
the crowd was eating it up, of course they were, the juxtaposition of auston's dynamic scoring ability with the old-fashioned crooning of you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.
the song seemed to reverberate off of the walls, into your head, behind your eyes, where it settled like thick fog. it smelled like champagne, waxy makeup, hairspray. your eyes began to water, which made your throat constrict.
like a dream, maybe a hazy memory, your first dance that never was flashed across your mind. an ornate, almost gauche white dress, the beautiful heels you had been practicing to wear. his pressed suit, slicked back hair, stupid designer socks that used to make you laugh. his hand on your waist, your arms around his neck, the two of you lost in each other, swaying, swirling around the floor to this song, surrounded by loved ones, high on laughter and the future and love.
slowly, the image blinked out of your vision as the song faded and the puck dropped, play starting up again.
it blinked out like a dying star, and then it was exactly that. dead.
because as you trained your eyes back on the ice, never once did they stray from 86 in red. never once did anything like regret or nostalgic desire well up in your heart, because you were not the one who lost. you were not the one with something to prove.
finally, you buried that wedding dress, laid it six feet under, let the soil spoil it, knowing one day you would wear a white dress and it would mean something to both parties involved.
in a breath, the game ended, and jack won, and he was truly all you were thinking about.
waiting for him, though, practically bouncing up and down, you were suddenly pulled into a side hallway by a grip you would recognize anywhere.
you were not surprised to look up and see the calculating eyes of auston matthews looking down at you with some lethal combination of heat and arrogance.
"angel," he said, a greeting that made you grind your teeth.
you pulled your arm away from him, shook him off of you, willed strength and stone into your posture and tone. "cool goal song, asshole," you bit out.
"i missed you too," he cooed, not taking you seriously, even now. his frame seemed so imposing now, looming large, too large for someone you didn't trust.
you rolled your eyes. "if you'll excuse me, i'm waiting for someone." you turned to leave the hallway, go back to the exit where jack would surely be walking out of any minute.
auston grabbed at your wrist, and it burned. "what, you mean that kid?" he scoffed, but didn't let go. "c'mon, angel, you know he's nothing to you." he rubbed a circle into your wrist that once, might have been soothing, but now made you feel sick. "you know you're all for me."
and you could have said so many things. like how that kid was your age, actually, so what did that say about him? like how that kid was twice the man he would ever be. like how this would be the last time you ever saw him, the last time he would ever have your attention.
the opening of a door ripped you from your thoughts as both you and auston glanced up to see jack in the doorframe, his bag slung over his shoulder, his face flushed from the game, tired blue eyes caught on auston's hand around your wrist.
time froze for a millisecond as you felt like you were pulled between worlds. it can be two things, you had told yourself once. it was never two things.
you watched as painful realization settled in jack's eyes as he simply turned away, let the door close behind him.
you ripped your arm from auston's grasp. "you've never taken me seriously," you told him then, looking him square in the face, your tone steady and serious as anything. "but if you believe anything i say, let it be that you are nothing to me, and you never will be again."
for the second time, you were the one to leave, this time running towards something worth saving.
you cursed under your breath, looking around for that head of soft brown hair.
you found him in a different hallway, sitting on the ground, his bag slumped next to him, his back leaning against the wall, his feet flat on the ground.
for a single moment, it was so quiet you swore that your exhales echoed against the walls. he didn't turn to face you, but obviously knew you were there.
"so you're with him, then?" he practically whispered, his tone like a cleaver to your chest, so defeated and blindsided, almost like he was talking to himself.
you slowly made your way over to him, sat down next to him, mirrored his position. side by side, but he felt so far away. "i'm not," you said back to him.
he let out some kind of bitter laugh, a sound you hated, a sound you hoped you would never have to hear again. "so that was you making friends?" he picked at a thread on his dress pants. "just meeting new people, 's that it?"
you turned to face him, then, but he still faced forward, as if looking at you would ruin him. "it's not what you think," you said, softly.
"well, what is it?" he paused, looked at you, then, and he wore his sadness like a suit fit for mourning. "be honest with me, please."
you took a shaky breath, knowing that this, very possibly, might be the last time you would ever be so close to him. knowing that your next words, your explanation, it might drive him away from you forever, before you had even really had the chance to have him.
you savored this breath, this liminal space between the truth and the now.
"i was going to marry him," you said, and the confession felt like letting go of every single vengeful thought you had ever had, like all the spite and disdain in your body had evaporated into dust.
"you were going to marry auston matthews," jack murmured, his face blank, his tone confused.
"yes."
"but you're not anymore?" he asked, looking at you, leaning his cheek onto his knees like an impatient elementary school kid waiting for recess.
you shook your head. "no. he cheated on me."
there was a pause, brutal silence, as his brow furrowed in confusion, his fists clenched briefly before letting go. his gaze fell to his hands for a moment, and when he spoke again it was so cautious, so pointed, that your stomach sank. "and then you just happened to start dating me?" he looked so tired. "same job, same goals, pretty much same life." he let out a breath. "you can't tell me that's a coincidence."
you sighed, prayed to whatever god would listen that honesty would count for something. "no, it wasn't a coincidence." your heart felt like it was lulling itself to sleep. "you were never a coincidence."
he dropped his head between his knees, and hurt vibrated through the air like sound waves. you could feel his hurt in your fingertips, could have melted in down, frozen it, wielded it like a weapon. "tell me something, baby," he pleaded, muffled by his legs. "please."
you knew it was unfair, but you laid a gentle hand on his fingers. "let me tell you all of it, please, jack, and then you don't have to see me again if you don't want to."
he took a breath that you felt in your bones, then in an act of mercy you cherished, gave a soft nod.
so you did. you told him the whole story - how you had been so devastated and hurt that you were blinded by a desire to make auston suffer. how you had chosen jack on purpose, because you knew it would cut the deepest. how you had not simply shown up randomly at that bar, all that time ago, how all of it was part of a plan, down to flirting with his friend, down to that first game of pool.
he didn't push your hand away, actually leaned his leg into your arm as you told him the story. the scary part's over, you wanted to say, you can stop hiding under the covers, now.
and so you told him about how he had hijacked your plan entirely. how you never expected to determine how good your day was based on how often you heard his laugh, how no one could have predicted how often you dreamed of his smile, how days when he was away truly felt like a loss.
"if i had known you, i never would have put you through this," you told him, finally, honestly. "i would have left you alone."
he was quiet for a moment, and then he picked his head up and looked at you, genuinely, thoughtfully. "you never would have used me to get back at your ex-fiance?" he asked, but there was not really any bite in his tone.
you tried your luck, reached up, brushed his damp hair from his forehead. "i did use you," you admitted. "and i don't have an excuse." he looked at you with clear eyes. "it was mean, and cruel, and all i can do is say that i'm so, so sorry and i will never hurt you like that again. i promise, that's the truth."
in the silent moments after you finished speaking, you closed your eyes for a brief moment, waiting for his reaction.
when you opened your eyes, he was looking at you. he opened his legs and knees wide, held open his arms, waiting. "i believe you."
it took no convincing for you to settle into the space he had created for you, to lean back against his chest, feel his heartbeat between your shoulder blades, his arms coming around your sides to clasp in front of your middle.
"you believe me?" you said, almost a whisper. you picked up his hand, held it to your chest, shocked that he was letting you. shocked that he was still here, making space for you.
you let the smell of him engulf you. it felt similar to walking into your mother's closet - the evidence of her living, loving, everywhere around you. the evidence of jack was everywhere, now, all over you, growing like some carnivorous plant over your heart.
"you promised," he said simply, into your hair.
and how spectacular it felt for someone to take you seriously, to take your words at face value, to understand that when you promised something, you meant it.
it felt like words were failing you, so you brought his hand to your mouth and pressed your lips to his palm lightly.
he hummed into your hair. "tell me about now," he said, voice steady and patient.
"hm?" you twisted your neck to look him in the eye, leaned back further until the back of your head rested on his chest.
"you told me about before. about him," he said, his eyes swimming with home, with hope. "tell me about us. tell me about now."
you searched for words, wondering how you could convey just how important he was to you, just how deeply you cared.
you could have said that his eyes were the most beautiful ocean you'd ever swam in. you could have said that kissing him felt like swallowing stardust, that listening to him talk about his day was a privilege and honor.
you could have said how you loved his voice after a long day, how he wore his emotions openly, shamelessly, how kind he was to those around him, how he didn't let you leave his house in doubt for even a second about his feelings, how he let laughter come easy, how he was many things but never, ever, indifferent.
you could have said so many things, but sometimes poetry and fancy words are inadequate, just diluting the true meaning, make it taste like watered-down juice, faint and lacking.
you could have said so many things, but you just told him the truth.
"i wake up every morning and i think of you," you said. "every moment you're not with me, i wish you were." you willed every ounce of meaning into your gaze. "you are my first choice, every time, jack. and it's not even close."
there was a silence as he processed what you said, and something like adoration dawned in his gaze like a springtime sunrise.
he tilted his head down, pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that told you he understood.
that no matter how you had gotten here, you were here, now.
"tell me again," he whispered against your mouth, and you smiled into his. that, you could do.
fin.
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sunsetsimon · 4 months
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you talked about simon eating a lot, and i was wondering, what about a reader who doesn't eat a lot and struggles a bit with eating? sorry, feel free to ignore this💗
no i absolutely love this!
simon knows he’s a big guy, so he just eats whenever he gets hungry, knowing his demanding job will help him maintain his weight. but he cant help but notice how often you turn down his offers of food, or lack ideas for meals you’d want to eat. he sits you down and asks you honestly, wanting to make sure you’re okay mentally and your thoughts on food.
“you been okay, darlin’? noticed you haven’t been eating much these days,” his blonde eyebrows furrow, brown eyes searching your face for an answer. he’s just worried about you, he wants you to be healthy, being able to eat what’s good for you when you need it.
he listens intently, asking questions to understand your struggles better. when you explain it’s just harder for you to eat, lacking a normal appetite and sometimes forgetting to eat meals, his hand holds yours, softly rubbing his thumb along the back of your hand as you talk. humming occasionally to acknowledge your words without interrupting.
“if it’s okay with you, dove, i think it would be fun to prepare our meals together. i can be a better cook for you,” simon offers, scarred lip curling into a smirk, his large hands squeezing your thighs.
he takes it upon himself to start meal-prepping, making sure to take into account things that are easier for you to eat. doing hours of research in his free time, finding it’s best to start with liquids before trying to add more food into your diet. he wakes up every morning and makes the two of you a delicious smoothie, packed with fruits and veggies, greek yogurt and milk, even peanut butter or a scoop of oats if he feels like it. if he’s expecting to leave soon, he’ll buy everything you need in bulk so you can maintain it while he’s gone.
(and even if you don’t live together, he’s scheduling deliveries for groceries or any food you mention wanting)
gladly spends more money on food whenever you’d like. oh, you’re craving a pizza from your favorite place in town? anything for his baby. oh, you’re craving donuts from krispy kreme at almost midnight? he’ll be right back for his baby. he does anything to help you eat.
always encourages you when he sees you eating, giving you multiple pecks between his words as he cups your cheeks, “fuck, i love seeing you eat. you’re so cute.”
leaving you laughing while trying to swallow your bite, cheeks flushed red from his kisses.
regardless of whether or not you’re actively trying to eat more, he just cares that you’re healthy and eating 3 meals a day, drinking plenty of water, taking vitamins or medication. yes one of his love languages is acts of service.
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astroismypassion · 4 months
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Astrology observations 🎉🧡🎉
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
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🎉Sun conjunct Saturn in Synastry chart is great if you are an Earth Sun or have Saturnian, Uranian influence. But you can find it quite restrictive and controlling if you are a Water Sun sign.
🎉 If you are born during Waning Crescent Moon phase, you are likely passionate and hard-working, but you often feel restricted by your own emotions. You feel like they are holding you back sometimes when you want to take action and achieve in more things.
🎉I think you can really end up struggling with long-distance partnership if you have Moon in the 1st house Synastry with someone. This is this one overlay that I think really requires for the both of you to cuddle, hug as much as possible and to see each other often since it create emotional connection for the two of you and you feel emotionally stable, satisfied and content.
🎉If you are the Mars person in the 8th house Synastry, you really gotta be mindful of not draining the 8th house person, especially their resources, items or finances.
🎉I think it is not said enough how Virgo Venus and Venus in the 6th house change for their partner as well not just Virgo Venus/Venus in the 6th house native wanting to change their partner. They are an Earth Venus, much like Taurus Venus, they are accomodating (even Capricorn Venus if they truly like you), they want to see you comfortable.
🎉People with Taurus over the 5th house really see shopping, going to the grocery store as a workout. They love just go into a store and window shop or buy little things. It's one of the favourite activities to do when they have free time or a day off. Their hobbies could also include leisure walks in the nature, going to the market, arts and crafts, watching films, eating sweets or indulging their sweet tooth in any other way, baking and cooking. They get so much joy from doing these things.
🎉Mars in the 12th house in Synastry screams missed opportunities. You might often run into each other without talking, speaking or interacting with one another. You might just be constantly thrown into each other's energy by the universe. You might formally introduce to each other much later in the connection.
🎉 The native who has Sagittarius Lilith or Lilith in the 9th house in the Natal chart might marry a college dropout or at least partner up with them (committed partnership).
🎉Mars in the 7th house overlay in Synastry chart is either you two have personalities with slight differences or different lifestyles, habits, way of doing things, behaviours, mannerisms and how you act, take action.
🎉 Pisces Moon natives are prone to fake cry in front of other people or they exaggerate the crying in front of another person. They are numbing themselves out usually when they actually feel like they are starting to cry in front of someone. These people always cry and process properly their feeling when left on their own alone, therefore never in front of another person.
🎉 In Synastry in Moon in the 6th house overlay, the house person might make more money than the Moon person.
🎉When you have your Saturn in someone's 1st house or aspecting their Ascendant, you are this person's mentor, guide. They teach from you a lot.
🎉With someone's Ascendant falling into your 8th house in a Synastry chart there was a sexual undertone to your meeting or in early stages of getting to know each other. You could have even seen this person's body or they wore very tight, fitted clothing. But other than physical appearance, this is a very deeply emotionally transformative connection. This overlay reminds me of Prince William seeing Princess Catherine in sheer dress during college fashion show.
🎉I noticed that whenever someone has Aquarius Mercury in a Natal chart they really crave a partner that is their intellectual equal. That's why they love other Air signs, such as Gemini or Libra Mercury or even yet another Aquarius Mercury. They have hard time feeling like a person with Cancer Mercury or Pisces Mercury is their intellectual equal.
🎉You feel incredibly supported when someone's Moon falls on your North Node and vice versa. There is soulmate vibe to this connection and you basically feel "nurtured" into the right direction where you are going. So it's very supportive, sweet, caring and nurturing overlay.
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
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ltleflrt · 1 month
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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol
So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.
So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.
Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.
I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.
In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.
(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)
I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.
Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.
This post is for them.
Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."
Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.
Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.
Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.
And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.
AND:
This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.
You're valid. You're one of us too.
And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)
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Note
HELLLOOO!! may i please request reader teasing bucky A LOT? thank yoiuuuu
HELLLOO BACK!!! ofc!! sorry for the delay. thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌 image has no relevance to the fic, it’s just really hot😭
FEIGN COMPOSURE.
bucky barnes x fem!reader
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word count. 527
warnings. minors dni !! suggestive
With Bucky, teasing is usually easy. You barely had to do anything to get the reaction you wanted. The simplest, gentlest, most naive of touches enough to elicit primal responses from him that you often craved. 
Neither of you would be doing anything in particular, but you would find yourself wanting to tease him - just needing to do something to get a reaction from him. Anything. 
At first, you'd start slow, acting as inconspicuous as possible as you sit beside him on the sofa. He would be on his phone, trying to understand the new update, muttering faintly to himself as he figured out how to navigate it. You would offer to help, leaning closer to show him about. But you weren't going to be doing just that, would you? Of course not. 
With your palm on his thigh, allowing yourself to 'get closer to see his screen', you'd hum softly beside his ear, that silky, sultry noise starting the beginning of your teasing. You'd pretend to be oblivious to the noise, acting non-the-wiser as you continue your help, pointing at the settings app on his phone with your free hand. 
The hand on his thigh would stay still within its placement, warm palm resting on the upper meat of it - fingers mindlessly brushing upwards.
He would twist his neck to look at you. Head cocked to the side as if to analyse you - to understand what you were up to, the playful furrow of his brows silently questioning you. But instead of replying, you'd shrug almost innocently, turning your attention back to his phone and ignoring the heated gaze he bores into the side of your head.
You'd pretend to know what you were saying as you explain his phone to him, the hand on his thigh itching higher and higher as the moments go by. Your fingers absentmindedly skimming the edge of his cock through his sweats, the light graze of your fingertips causing a further strain in his boxers. 
Bucky would try to act indifferent to the swell between his thighs - try to be apathetic to the aching chub-on growing that you created. So the reaction you craved of him stalled.
Growing impatient, you decide to up your game and turn to face him - meeting his gaze with your pretty, softened eyes, hoping it'll finally make him crack. 
With the diversion of his stare, you notice an amused smile, his expression telling you all you needed to know. Wanting to push him even further, you adjust in your seat - accidentally grazing your breast against his arm as you reposition to sit on your knees. Surely that would be enough?
Though, it's not. Not just yet, anyway. 
You sigh softly to yourself and slump back into the sofa, feeling defeated - unpleased with yourself for not getting what you wanted. 
But Bucky notices and slots his hand into yours, holding and bringing it back to his thigh - the placement you had minutes ago, only this time, higher up. He nudges your hand towards his hard-on, guiding you to what you were after. 
"You started it. You finish it."
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verahella · 3 months
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♡ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 — 𝐆. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 ♡
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his shoulders slump the moment he enters through the door, crinkles of a smile unconsciously softening into a tired expression. he plops down onto the couch, resting his head against the back of it and crossing his feet on the marble coffee table in front.
gojo’s throat is dry from a long day of teaching but his legs ache and he can’t bring himself to get up and get water right now.
his students had done well today, he thinks. the trio was improving, slowly but surely, he could see everyone getting over sukuna.
the thought lifts a small smile to his face.
he closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. his head is pounding and he has a sudden, strange craving for your homemade tea (with lots of honey to match his picky taste).
he used to stick his tongue out in disgust at your ‘healthier choices’ but now he can’t help but miss the warmth of it stinging his tongue, sweetness spreading on it before your lips replaced it.
too bad you were out on some mission tonight.
satoru doesn’t register the comforting scratches on his head, only letting out a small hum.
“what’s got you smiling like that?”
“the misery of missing my wife.” he mutters. his eyes open with a flash when he recognises your laugh.
he turns his head around, watching you stare down at him with a soft smile. “you must hate her very much then, no?”
(he can’t. even if he begged on his knees, he couldn’t hate you. every fibre in his body, the strands of his very soul, would oppose anything but loving you, devoting himself to you.)
“yes. she’s a demon for leaving me alone here.”
you shove his shoulder lightly, “i came back, didn’t i?” you always will.
he moves to his knees on the couch, encircling his arms around your waist and pulling you impossibly close. “thought you weren’t gonna be home until tomorrow.”
“i finished early.” you comb your hand through his hair, “couldn’t risk you burning down my kitchen.”
“have some faith; i would only set the ugly curtains on fire.” he murmurs, settling his face into the crook of your neck. it fits perfectly. he breathes you in, the scent of home filling his senses.
“you okay there?” you mumble, swaying slightly to balance his weight on you.
“‘m fine. just missed you.”
you smile. he sounds so small, a hint of rare vulnerability in his tone, yet he doesn’t shy away from it like he used to when he first met you.
that genius of yours, he acts like a toddler more often than not, yet his true inner child is buried deep in, a part of his heart waiting to be unlocked. (you’re glad you’re the one he handed the keys to.)
he relishes in the small pats of your hand on his back, a good job at the end of a long day. you’ve learnt even the strongest require appreciation sometimes.
the both of you stay like that for a while, time pausing until its just two souls entangling with each other where they find home.
you smoosh his cheeks together as you plant a kiss on his nose. “i love you.”
he grins, charged up from your touch, “how could you not? it’s me we’re talking about.”
you chuckle, tracing a faint scar on his cheek. from back when infinity didn’t isolate him from the world. “glad to see you’re feeling better, narcissist.”
“i’m also handsome, rich, immeasurably funny—”
“and arrogant.” you interject.
“it’s part of my charm.” he winks. “i’ve found out these days that i’m pretty mean too.”
you tilt your head, “mean? how?” it doesn’t seem likely to you that this six foot lump of annoyance could be anything like mean.
“i ate the last cookie.”
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simping-acefully · 3 months
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Ep 3 got me acting really unwise
Nsfw headcanons for Laios under the cut (gn unspecified partner for Laios)
Warnings: NSFWish, probably ooc, reader insert implied?, probably not very sexy because I used this for character analysis.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Laios is very attentive, though he's also very insecure when it comes to engaging with others. So I imagine he'd be a little clumsy, though very eager to provide the best aftercare for his partner. He's also very cuddly.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
The favorite part of his own body are his hands. They are strong and calloused, and he's used them to protect others and to create new stuff! (Aka, cooking) the fact that those hands can also help him please a partner is a plus.
On a partner? Probably lips. I imagine Laios struggles to read people's facial expressions (the 'tism go brr) but seeing his partner's smile is reassuring. He also really likes running his thumb over them and maybe getting his fingers nibbled.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He cums a lot.He has tasted his own cum out of curiosity in the past, too. And if he had a partner that ejaculated or squirted he would be delighted to taste it all.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He has probably jerked off to thoughts of his partner before they get together and it's eating him alive :(
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Zero experience, lots of book knowledge though! He's confused but he's got the spirit. Will need some leading at first, but he's a quick learner and is curious enough to experiment and try new things once he's gained confidence.
As an ace myself, I like to think that Laios is either ace too, or has a low drive and thus, sexual intimacy is a matter of doing something intimate and unique with a partner.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Any position that will allow him to see his partner's face for smooching! The emotional intimacy is the most important part for him.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He tries to be serious to the point he's almost uptight. But his clumsy and eager nature ends up organically devolving into somewhat goofy intimacy.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
The carpet matches the drapes, but this man keeps it all natural because ?? Why would he waste time/energy on such things??? (Aka, he's not used to grooming the area, but he would do an effort if asked)
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Very!! The main driving force for the act. Laios is constantly kissing and checking with his partner. He loves them so much and this is a physical way to convey those feelings!
He holds hands with his partner, kisses their face and neck and tries to keep them as close as possible, the mental image of melting into a puddle together comes to mind.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Doesn't do it often, but when he does it's more of a thing of connecting with his own body than getting rid of any urges. He won't be able to get off unless he's in a good mood.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Has a wee bit of a praise kink that he doesn't fully understand.
Shibari is one he wants to delve into, too. There's something to be said about the artistry of the knots, and the feeling of compression can be quite comforting.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Probably his partner's bed. He shares a room with Falin, so intimacy on his place is a no-no. He doesn't particularly enjoy motels or inns either because he feels kind of self conscious/pressured to perform within a time limit. He was to take things slow and he wants to cuddle to sleep afterwards, dammit!
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
I think his biggest driving force is an emotional connection. He craves to be understood and loved, so feeling that coming from his partner will make him want to show his appreciation in a physical way.
Probably jealousy is another good way to make Laios seek out his partner. He wants reassurance, to kill any doubts in his mind and any lingering feelings of inadequacy.
Also adrenaline too! Sometimes when the blood is pumping, his mind wanders. If he and his partner just were in a situation of danger, the physical reminder that they are there, alive and safe will make him desperate to feel them.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Doesn't like/understand degradation, and wouldn't do anything that he felt could hurt his partner.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers to give, and lives for pleasing his partner! He's not very skilled at first, but he's very observant and receptive, so he gets the hang of what his partner likes even if they do not say so themselves.
However, after getting head himself, he's hooked. He loves it, he loves the look on his partner's eyes and the physical feeling is overwhelming on the best possible way.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Usually slow and sensual, unless he just had a life or death situation with his partner, then he's desperate and anxious.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not one to really go for quickies, but if he's on the rare mood for one, he'll be sure to get and give lots of affection.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Laios would be interested in trying everything at least once. He's curious and inquisitive, and just as he is fascinated by monsters, he's fascinated by his partner and wants to learn what turns them on, and see what also works for him
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Stamina for days! He can last one very long round. If he didn't get sleepy and cuddly afterwards, he could probably do more, but hnnnggg comfy
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He doesn't own toys, but if introduced to them he's up for trying pretty much anything, both on himself and his partner.
I can see him growing particularly attached to non-human looking dildos/strap-ons and ropes.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's not much of a tease, but he low-key enjoys being teased. He doesn't seem to understand it, or be fully aware of the fact, but yeah.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not particularly loud out the impulse to self restrain, but Laios is a whiner. He can get pretty loud when he's about to cum though.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Would love to roleplay as a monster with their partner but when he did bring up the idea he got laughed off and passed it off as a joke. It was not a joke.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
I like to think that it would kind of mimic his silhouette, length slightly above average and overall on the thicker side. The widest point is right after the head.
Not very high at all. I kinda imagine Laios on the gray sexual spectrum so, it only becomes a thought after he begins pining for his eventual partner. It starts with him wondering how soft their hands would be, how about their neck and lips? And it eventually escalates to wandering thoughts of intimacy.
Once he does become intimate with a partner, he longs for intimacy more than he longs for sex itself.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
VERY. He's an eepy man.
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runa-falls · 10 months
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pornstar!moon-boys x fluffer!reader
part one: marc
a/n: some headcannons bc we filthy up in this bitch >:)
others: steven | jake | more steven
as a fluffer, it's your job to know how to keep the boys interested. each alter has their own preferences:
(NSFW 18+ under the cut)
marc: the wretched
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Marc is a self-deprecating man and the first alter you met. He's always very serious about his work, even when directors come up with ridiculous scenarios for him to act out.
At first, he refused you, convincing himself that all he needed to prep for scenes was his hand and his phone. That didn't last long. He was struggling to get through shooting days and often forced production to extend over their time. So you were called.
He didn't expect a girl like you to come onto set. You looked like a normal civilian, clothed in comfortable jeans and a tank top. You didn't look like you belonged anywhere near the porn industry.
The first session with you immediately changed his mind. You figured him out within a handful of minutes, watching closely to how he'd react to different touches and situations.
You never take your clothes off for him because that's how he likes it. There's this unspoken power dynamic that would surprise a lot of his fans as he's known for being dominant in videos. With you, he's the one who's stripped down as you climb into his lap fully clothed.
He sighs, hands gripping your waist as the rough texture of your jeans rubs against his sensitive skin. You grind down on him because you know he likes it rough and you can already feel him stiffening under you.
He's not submissive in a way where he whines or begs, he just takes whatever you'll give him. Sometimes you'll refuse his kisses, pulling back or looking away when he gets too close, too needy. It only turns him on further because he thinks he deserves it.
Other times you'll only kiss him. You'll make out with him for the full 15 minutes he has to prepare while never touching him once and he'll last the whole scene.
But his favorite sessions are when you edge him over and over again until he's physically trembling under you. He'll never admit it but he loves when you sit on his lap. He secretly craves your closeness and the intimacy that your presence brings, so when you edge him you're perched on his lap so you both have to watch as your hand pumps his cock in between your bodies.
The handjobs are nothing special, but he crumbles from your touch anyway. You've found that you can break him in mere minutes when you make him look at you, eye-to-eye.
"Look at me, baby." You purr, using your open hand to tilt his head up. His eyes are droopy and red, a product of two edging sessions right before this. Your gazes lock and he's shivering in your hold. "Come on, give it to me." You give him a teasing squeeze and he about falls over. His breaths start to speed up and you know he's getting close.
A glance at the clock says you have 4 minutes until call time.
With one more stroke you pull away.
He lets out a low grunt and his body shudders from how sensitive he is. You be a breeze could finish him off.
Maybe you went overboard... usually you only edge him once, but three times?
He'll probably be back in this room in 20 minutes from cumming too early. Dammit.
"Ok, you have like... 3 minutes. You ready?"
You've learned to be casual, to take him out of the scene as fast a possible so he can focus. He's still sitting on the armchair, trying to calm down.
"I, uh. I think I need a minute." Marc won't look at you.
Yeah, maybe three was too much.
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alotofpockets · 6 months
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The newest member | Alessia Russo
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Pairing: Alessia Russo x Pregnant!Reader
Summary: Alessia being extra protective of you during your pregnancy.
Masterlist | Woso masterlist | words: 1k
Over the years you had grown to love how protective Alessia was over you. She showed her protectiveness even in the smallest of ways, it had always made you feel safe and loved. Ever since the two of you found out that you were pregnant with your first baby, her protectiveness evolved. 
It started out very sweet, making sure she got you everything you needed, taking control of the conversation when the questions were getting too much for you, and setting up all the doctors appointments so that you didn’t have to worry about it. But as your pregnancy progressed, her protectiveness grew with it. You had mixed feelings over the new found protectiveness. 
There were the ways that you were grateful for, like telling strangers to back up when they reached their hands out to touch your belly without permission, or making sure that she grabbed everything you needed for your wide range of cravings from the store. But there were also ways that could be rather annoying at times. The further along you got into your pregnancy the less she let you do on your own. 
In your third trimester her biggest form of protectiveness was that she had taken the no heavy lifting advice that the doctor gave you as you not being allowed to lift anything. Which often led to frustration from your end. “Less, come on. There are literally two baby onesies in here, I think I can handle that on my own.” You roll your eyes at your wife as she takes the bag from your hands anyways.
In your fourth trimester she wouldn’t let you be home alone, ever. Having your wife around so much was great. She would read to the baby, make you food, and she gave you the lots of cuddles. But when she would leave to go to practice, she would have someone babysit you, which was less fun. She never called it babysitting, of course, but whenever she had to go another person randomly showed up on your doorstep. Whether it was her mom, a friend, or a teammate, there was always someone there. Luckily for you, the people she sent to babysit you never acted like that was why they were there. 
While usually Alessia’s antics of having someone practically babysit you were pretty annoying, today you were grateful to have someone around. Viv was with you today, she was still out because of her ACL injury, and therefore she wasn't joining the rest of the Arsenal girls for training just yet. You were in the kitchen, getting a glass of water, while Viv was sitting on the couch. “Viv, get in here.” You yell out. Viv hears the worry in your voice and is quick to her feet. “What’s wrong?” She asks, matching your worried tone. “My water just broke.” Viv moves to your side and grabs your arm to support you, “Okay, let’s get you to the hospital then.” She leads you to the front door, she scoops up the hospital bag that Alessia had placed next to the front door a couple of weeks ago, “Just in case.” she kept saying. While you settle in the car, she gives a quick call to Jonas. 
At the training field Jonas hangs up the call and heads over to the team again. “Girls, can I have everyone’s attention please.” He calls over and everyone jogs in his direction. “I thought I’d get everyone together for this announcement because I just got a call that is rather exciting.” The team has their full attention on their coach. “Alessia, your wife is in labor. Viv is driving her to the hospital as we speak.” Alessia stood in shock until her teammates start patting her on the back, and hugging her. “What are you waiting for Russo? Let’s go.” Katie says once her teammates are done hugging her. “I’ll drive.” Beth announced, rushing to the locker room to grab her keys.
You hear a knock on your hospital room door, Viv gets up and opens the door for your new guests. Alessia is immediately by your side and takes your hand in hers, “How are you feeling, baby?” She asks as she places soft kisses to your forehead. “At the moment I am mostly excited to meet this little girl.” You share.
When it was time for the delivery, Alessia ushered everyone out of the room. Over the years these girls had become your family but this was a moment you did not want them present at. Alessia stayed by your side the whole time, helping you do your breathing exercises, holding your hand, being supportive, and praising you for how well you were doing. The delivery was very hard but all was forgotten the second you got to hold your baby girl. Alessia asked one of the nurses to snap a few pictures, and enjoyed the moment of meeting your little girl for the first time. 
Once the doctors and you said visitors were okay, Alessia went to the waiting room where Viv, Beth, and Katie were very impatiently waiting. “Ready to meet our healthy baby girl?” She asked as she watches everyone get up full of excitement. They follow her in the room. You don’t think you’ve ever heard them be so quiet before. “You're allowed to make noice, you know?” Effectively pulling them out of their trances. Alessia picks up the baby from the little crib, and walks towards her teammates. “These are your aunties.” The girls huddle around the newborn, admiring the little girl. 
When it was time to take your little girl home, you dressed her up in the baby Arsenal jersey that Alessia got from the team. Your wife snaps a picture and sends it to the Arsenal group chat with the caption, ‘Meet the newest member of the team’. 
You enjoyed your first day at home with the newest member of your family with just the two of you. Letting family and friends know that both mom and baby were doing great, and setting up times for them to meet your little girl.
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haitiangirl4life · 4 months
Note
Kylian Mbappé imagine where Kylian suspects you are pregnant and you deny it but somehow he’s right fluff
Suspicions
Masterlist
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A/N: Wrote this on the bus so it's probably shit but I hope you like it.
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Kylian knows you better than anyone.
𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Kylian Mbappé x you
𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 1.4k
Warnings! Fluff, slight angst, unexpected pregnancy,
Kylian knows you.
Perhaps even better than you know yourself, he would say.
From how you prefer hot chocolate over coffee to how you always choose the window seat on airplanes, even though you're terrified of heights.
He knows you.
Lately, though, something's changed.
It all started with a hunch, a whispered in his mind, and he's been racking his brain trying to figure out what's wrong. Even going so far as to call his mom and ask her for advice. And he thinks he's got it.
Call it intuition or whatever, but Kylian knows you, and he thinks, No, he knows you're pregnant.
You're not as energetic as you usually are, seeming more fatigued than usual, with dark circles under your eyes, often taking naps during the day and struggling to stay awake in the evenings. You've been eating a lot more than usual, often craving weird food combinations, something you usually hate when he does. You've also been having trouble concentrating and remembering things, which is unusual for you.
Not to mention that your mood seems to be fluctuating, going from being extremely happy to feeling down and irritable within a short span of time. Like your emotions were on a rollercoaster ride.
All your symptoms point to pregnancy, and the likelihood catches him off guard. After all, you both have been careful, using protection. Still, he can feel it.
You're in the kitchen when he decides to approach you.
Preparing a simple dinner. Spagetti Carbonara, his favorite. You look beautiful—the way the apron cinches around your waist, accentuating your curves—curves he's sure weren't there a few weeks ago. And you have a certain glow about you.
As you glide across the kitchen to grab ingredients, Kylian watches you closely, noticing the slight scrunch of your nose as you stir the sauce. As if the smell is suddenly overwhelming. You move more slowly than usual, and every now and then, you take a break to give your lower back a little rub.
Yeah, he's sure now.
He takes a deep breath and approaches you.
His steps are slow and calculated as he tries to find the right words to say, heart pounding in his chest as he tries to predict your reaction.
"Mon amour," he whispers softly in your ear, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Hey. Did you get bored with your game?" You ask, temporarily pausing your chopping as you lean back against him, his warm skin sending shivers down your spine.
"Yes…So I have something to ask you."He asks softly, nuzzling your neck and breathing in your scent. Curiosity piqued, you turn around to face him, looking into his eyes expectantly. His gaze is soft, intense. It makes your heart race.
"What is it?"
He takes a deep breath. "I've been thinking…" He pauses, swallows and releases a shaky breath. You frown slightly, sensing that this conversation is about to take a serious turn.
"Go on, you can tell me anything," you encourage him gently, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. He hesitates for a moment before finally speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. "Are you pregnant?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for any hint of confirmation.
The question catches you off guard, and you stiffen for a moment, trying to process his words. "Um, no, I'm not pregnant," you respond, letting out a confused laugh. "Where did that come from?"
Kylian pauses, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I...I don't know," he stammers, shoulders slumping slightly as he mutters. "It's just that...I noticed you've been acting different lately. You're more tired than usual, and your appetite has changed. Not to mention..." He trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished as he searches for the right words. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel bad about your slight weight gain, knowing how much you've struggled with it in the past.
You roll your eyes, snorting at the simple notion he's hinting at. There's no way. "Kylian, I'm on the pill. There's no way."
He nods, still convinced he's not wrong. "Yeah, I know, but...remember that time you forgot? I just want to make sure."
You shake your head, dismissing him. "That was weeks ago, Kylian. I've had my period since then. I'm sure it's just stress or something." You reassure, turning back to resume stirring the sauce, hand gripping tight on the wooden spoon.
Usually, Kylian would drop the subject at this point, but he's sure about this. Deep in his gut, he knows. And he's never wrong about his instincts.
He takes a step closer, placing a hand on your shoulder, hating the way you tense up under his touch. "Baby, I love you. And I know you, and I know when somethings wrong, trust me." He can tell you're getting irritated by the way your eyebrows furrow and your jaw clenches. But he can't let it go. "Let's just take the test, yeah. Just to be sure."
You pause for a moment, feeling torn. But you trust him. Plus, his intuition has proven right in the past. Reluctantly, you nod, realizing that it wouldn't hurt to get checked out.
"Alright," you concede, giving him a small smile. "If it'll make you feel better."
Your hands shake as you sit on the toilet, nerves fluttering in your stomach. Kylian is standing next to you, gently rubbing your back for support, as you wait for the results.
"Hey, it's going to be okay," he murmurs, squeezing you gently. You steal a glance up at him, chocolate-brown eyes soft as he gazes down at you with concern.
"I'm scared," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. Kylian's grip tightens. "Hey, I got you. I'm not going anywhere." He reassures you, leaning down to press the gentlest kiss on your lips.
The minutes feel like hours as you wait for the result. And your hands are shaking as your knee bounces in nervousness. The timer beeps, and your world stops.
You hold your breath as you pick up the test and hand it to Kylian, the small lump in your throat now feeling like a boulder. Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch him flip it over with trembling hands.
He stares at the test, jaw dropping at whatever he's reading, before a wide smile spreads across his face. Then he's running toward you.
He scoops you up in his arms, spinning you around as he exclaims, "Je le savais!" before gently setting you down and dropping the test into your hands. You stare at it in disbelief, jaw dropping as your eyes well up. (I knew it!")
Two pink lines—two lines that changes everything.
You sob when it finally hits and it catches Kylian off guard. He wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly as tears stream down your face. He doesn't say anything. Just holds you. Knowing that you don't need words right now. Just him.
He strokes your hair soothingly, whispering soothingly into your ear, his warm breath against your skin. And you cling to him. Cling to him like he's your lifeline- because right now he is.
The only thing grounding you to earth as you process this newfound information. You stand there for what feels like hours, just holding each other before you finally manage to whisper, "We're going to be parents."
Kylian gently wipes away a stray tear, voice filled with awe as he murmurs, "Yeah, you happy." not knowing how you felt based off of your reaction. His heart did backflips as he awaited your response. There's nothing he wanted more than a family with you. You're it for him. But he knows he'll stand beside you no matter what you decide.
So he schools his features, in case you choose a different path, and waits for you to speak, ready to support you in whatever decision you make.
"Yes!" You blumber, barely getting your words out as you choke on your own tears. "Y-Yes." Hiccups and sobs escape from your trembling lips.
His body sags with relief at your words before he's pulling you close once again and laying a hundred kisses all over your face."Thank you, thank you!" Tears fall from his eyes now. And he's bending down to get on his knees to lay kisses on your belly. "I love you so much. Thank you."
He stays like that for a long time, his tears soaking your shirt as he showers your belly with love.
And you know everything will be alright.
-Bianca🌻
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disneyprincemuke · 6 months
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midnights, 6 * mv1
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a thunderstorm keeps you up at night, the same way it kept max up
pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader
warnings: -
notes: i was going to post and update my fem!driver but tumblr keeps reverting back to an old version and idK WHATS WRONG WITH TUMBLRRRR!!! i pUT MY WHOLE PUSSY INTO THAT BRO
(prev) // (next)
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you sigh, hanging your towel onto the rack. the thunderstorm had been building up to what it is now the entire time you were out for dinner with alexandra and charles.
luckily, charles had offered to drive tonight. you weren’t given the hard task of navigating the streets late at night in the rain.
as much as solitary was what you craved all night, your mind seemed to change every time the thunder got a little too loud for your liking. suddenly, you were crying for help in your head that the night wouldn’t end too soon.
alas, here you are in your apartment while the rain raged on outside.
you try your hardest not to let the thunder get to you. but it’s almost impossible when the lightning lights up half of the room and the thunder rumbles in your chest.
it’s mind numbingly empty, being in your apartment during a thunderstorm without max by your side. even when he’s away, he always finds a way to stick by your side when the rain is pouring. all because he knows how much you hate it.
you’ve always felt bad keeping him up late when the weather decides to act up. he claims that it’s no problem, because your wellbeing is what matters the most, but you can’t help it.
you always note the way he struggles to keep awake on nights like these, his responses delayed by seconds at time when the gears in his head are slowed. but you also realised that he’d gotten better at staying up just to make you feel comforted and heard.
he eventually found different ways to keep you company during the long hours of a rainy night, the sounds only bothering you mildly when he’s there.
when he's away, it got harder to deal with. his voice over the speaker on your phone is too soft compared to what it is when he's in the room with you. it's the lack of a comforting embrace as well that made it that much harder to deal with.
jimmy and sassy often helped with coping with a thunderstorm a lot. they would snuggle up into your waist and purr when you cover them with a blanket while you're on the call with max.
but now you're all alone.
it's just you and the shadows of your poorly lit apartment.
you turn around and sigh loudly at the emptiness. it's a cold evening, so you're now by your dresser as you search for a sweatshirt to warm yourself up with.
you thought that you'd disposed of everything that screamed max, but you're immediately proven wrong when you notice a dark-coloured sleeve poking out of your bright-coloured selection of clothes.
dark coloured clothing means one thing. it only ever leads to one person - max.
your hands shake by your side as you stare at the sleeve, not finding the strength in yourself to grab it. you'd forgotten that you had one of his jackets from way before you moved into his apartment.
every breath you take feels heavier, the grief of losing max weighing you down once more. tears fill your eyes as you try to remember how the red bull jacket even ended up in your closet in the first place.
typically, you'd remember like it was yesterday. but for some reason, you can't remember it. and you want to be able to remember it. forgetting max and everything you've been through is never part of the plan.
you want to remember every single detail about that relationship you shared. it was the happiest couple of years you've had, the highs and lows of his career affecting you just as much while you tried your best to be there for him. you'd been there for most of it.
it feels odd now that you're not there anymore. you wonder if he feels the emptiness without you too.
when he started his career in formula 1, you entered his life months after that. you'd been there when he was promoted to the main racing team and you were there for every single podium finish thereafter. you'd even been there for every single crash and hospital visit.
you were there and suddenly you're not showered in champagne every weekend, reeking of the alcohol that soaked your clothes and hair.
a loud rumble makes you flinch, hands flying up to cover your ears. it doesn't get any easier dealing with it - the rumbling in your chest that accompanied the loud roar outside the window.
but you can't resist. you grab the jacket from your closet anyway, throwing the hanger back inside. you jump onto your bed and wrap the blanket over your shoulders and grab your phone from your nightstand.
you dial a number unconsciously and hold the phone up to your ear as you await an answer. you choke up when the ringing stops, knowing well yourself that this is not the person you meant to call. it's just to stick to your principle of backing up the break-up that you never wanted but brought up.
"hey."
"mum, i miss him," you sob into the phone, your hand coming up to your chest as you feel it close in on itself. "i miss max."
"i know, baby." you hear some shuffling from the other side of the line, then a hushed whisper from your father. the door shuts before your mother says something to you again. "but this is for the best, isn't it? you guys have not been happy for so long."
this makes you sob even harder, your wails being tuned out by the rain that has gotten stronger in the past second. the roaring in the night sky barely bothers you now.
you just want max.
"we are happy," you defend yourself and the relationship. nobody knows what happened. nobody knows that even if you fought endlessly, you were still happy when you pushed it all aside. you were happy with max. "we were happy. i ruined it, mama."
you resort to putting a hand over your mouth as you start to sob harder. if you'd known the rain was going to be such a trigger, you would have just gone to sleep the moment you stepped foot into your apartment.
"i love him," you manage to whisper. you close your eyes as the tears continue to fall, leaning your head on your headboard. the picture frame on your bedside table still stands tall, making you contemplate if you should hang up and call max instead. "i don't think i'll ever get over him."
but your mother will always be looking out for you. she doesn't encourage you to call him. she just says, "get it off your chest, baby. i'm here."
and you spend the next 3 hours crying over max, your framed picture sitting by your knee as you talk about him. you only fall asleep when the thunderstorm stops, wrapped in his jacket that weirdly still smelled just like him.
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taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12
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bugs1nmybrain · 5 months
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Shigaraki With a Girlfriend Headcanons
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Warnings: fem reader as title suggests, sex, dub-con/non-con, shigaraki isn't healthy, fluffy if you can get past the darkish content, domestic abuse themes, misogynistic Tomura, anal mention, a lot of headcanons, typos but i don't have time to fix them right now
18+ Minors Don't Interact
Mellows out more, especially if he's around you and you alone
When Shigaraki has you around others he can get a bit cocky. He likes showing off his cute little girlfriend and how he's got such a cutie absolutely obsessed with him
When it's only you and him he's kind of domestic, surprisingly. You'll find him often coming up to cuddle you or touch you somehow and drag you to play games with him. Or more accurately you watch him game while he kisses and bites your neck
He likes doing cheesy couple things you'll come to find, such as going for walks, movies, out to eat, or just cuddle in bed for a while
That said, he's actually very cuddly once he's sure he can control touching you. If you're immune to his quirk, he'll still doubt it for a while and will touch you as if he's touching a hot stove. Once he knows you won't crumble, you won't be able to get him off of you
And if you aren't immune, those gloves that the doctor gave him as a child will make a comeback
He sort of doesn't even believe he has a GIRLFRIEND?!?! Makes him cackle and giggle sometimes
You can draw those cackles out by kissing his face and letting him touch you however he wants
He's horny so very horny
He's never had someone touch him so lovingly. He loves it. He loves that you love him.
As codependent as it is, you're pretty much the only thing he loves. That, and video games. And yes, he respects and appreciates his comrades. But love, as in genuinely caring for someone and wanting to see them happy? Only you
His temper is short and it's easy to piss him off but he sort of teaches himself a "count to 10" thing for you. He doesn't actually want to hurt you or your feelings. Though he'll admit, seeing your eyes water when he does something bad makes that sick, evil part of him smile
He can get carried away during sex. He's actually very eager to please you and make you beg for him. It wouldn't be fun if you didn't crave his cock, right?
He oversteps boundaries sometimes and will be very pushy. You'll have to speak up, but even then he might banter with you, "come onnn..but you're so pretty thoughhh~"
After the fact he'll pull you into snuggle and sleep with him. He considers that his act of redemption.
In case it didn't dawn on you, he's evil
He's able to be down to earth with you too and will open up about things he'd never tell others with you. He trusts you
His mommy issues may get taken out on you sometimes, and not even just in the sexy way. He can get very pouty and bratty with you or even just needy for attention.
He loves you sooo much. I've said that, but for real. His version of love is sick and maybe it's better to say that he's obsessed with you. He wants you all the time, and wants you to be his and his ONLY.
That said, he's the boyfriend who goes through phones. He paid attention when you put in your password while he was around you. He'll look through your messages to make sure there's no guys or funny people. He'll turn on location features while you're unaware so he can check on your location when he's not with you.
He'll look through your porn history too but he most likely won't be mad at anything he sees. It'll just make him horny and he'll pester you with questions. "Hehe you're into that?!" "Would it make you ooey gooey if I did that to you?" "Nasty whore hehehe."
Will take pictures of you without your permission, lewd or just innocent. He misses you when you're away and likes to look at them.
He doesn't show them to people except that one time he did let Dabi see a filthy video he took once while you and him were fucking. Dabi questioned his sexual abilities, so naturally he had to prove him wrong.
If anyone disrespected you the only person who could stop him is you, to be honest. He won't tolerate it and will absolutely hurt someone in your honor.
If anyone tried to take advantage of you or hurt you, bye bye
Doubts himself a lot and makes you feel guilty for it. He'll pester you. Is he good enough for you? Do you not love him? Is he ugly? Is his dick too small? He's too crazy for you right? Too bad? Too damaged? There's no way you love him, you lying bitch!
He's kind of misogynistic. Mansplains. Complains about how women accuse men of shit that "they don't do" and then does said things
Period specific hc: didn't take your period cramps seriously at first because he couldn't fathom how they were that bad. He thought you were being dramatic. It only took him taking you around his buddies and you absolutely dying in pain the entire time. He actually felt bad.
Sometimes he'll even give you the princess treatment. Spoil you with kisses, cuddles, and games. He'll bring some snacks too. Maybe pull you into the shower if he's smelly that day.
Boobies guy. But also loves butts. Actually, he can't pick. Because he loves sucking on titties but also likes putting his dick up your ass (when you let him lol). He loves your body so much, but he's not THAT shallow. It's the fact that it's YOUR body on YOU, attached to your cute facial expressions, and your cute lil heart.
Sex with him varies. It can be pretty sexy and sensual, actually. You'd be surprised how much Tomura just wants some genuine love and affection. But it can also very easily be rough and animalistic
All that hate and rage inside Tomura gets taken out on your wet pussy. You'll be sore. He'll say sorry and buy you a coffee later to atone for his sins.
If you want him to brush his teeth, you have to take him with you. If you treat it as a ☆bonding time☆between you and him, he'll do it. Otherwise, Tomura doesn't even remember most of the time. His breath smells. It's bad sometimes. When he flosses once every 6 months there's a pool of blood in the sink. Probably has gum disease.
Collects figures! And he'll never demand that you buy him things but if you did he'd be super embarrassed, but also grateful. He'll probably just hide his face and mutter a little.."thank yew". But the fact that you care about him like that makes his heart HURT
These love feelings confuse him because he fucking HATES how tight his chest feels and how heavy his bones and foggy his head is when he finds himself adoring you so damn much. He also adoressss you. You're his one and only and his only reason for ever doing anything generous to anybody. If he wasn't so fucking stubborn you'd probably be enough to "save" him
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