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#like i know it’s just two months out of the rest of my life but like. it feels like so long and so short at the same time
dazednmatthews · 1 day
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(crazy how) this love thing seems unfair~ m. sturniolo
short mini fic cause i lurve this song so bad. angsty asf w a semi-happy ending. enjoy my loves <3333
“mattttttt,” her voice is coated in sleep. “come back to bed.” matt is standing at his closet door, rubbing his own tired eyes. it’s about nine in the morning, much too early to be doing anything other than laying in bed with her.
“you know that i can’t, sweetheart. i have to go work with the guys.” he finally picks a top, a soft, white sweatshirt that’s semi-cropped.
“boooooooo.” she sits up, pushing the curls that escaped her bun away from her face. the look on her face almost makes matt want to say fuck it and stay right here.
after he puts on his shoes and cologne, he walks to the side of the bed and sits. she sinks into him, body melting into his touch. they sit there for a moment, no sound in the room except their breathing. it’s peaceful.
she leans up in his arm and places a kiss at the shell of matt’s ear, making the boy groan softly. “don’t do that. it makes me want to stay right here.”
another kiss, this time under his jaw. “that’s the idea.”
one of matt’s hands are kneading the flesh of her thigh, pausing momentarily to rub circles with his thumb. the other hand is planted gently on her waist. he grips a little tighter when she kisses the corner of his mouth.
“stop touching me like that if you’re leaving.” she whines, pulling away slightly. “so not fair.”
he pulls her back. “give me a real kiss.”
she shakes her head. “ew, no. morning breath, hello.”
matt gives her a flat look. “i put my literal tongue inside of you twenty four seven and you think i give a fuck about morning breath?”
she shoves his shoulder with an incredulous laugh. “it is nine in the morning, matthew!” her eyes are sparkling now. “tone it down.”
matt shrugs. “i’m just saying.”
there’s a brief moment where they lock eyes, and suddenly it’s like all the air in the room has been sucked out. matt moves his hand up, feeling the thrum of her heart beating rhythmically. it’s one of his favorite sounds.
she moves into his lap, his hands coming to the swell of her ass to steady her. her arms loop around his neck, face close.
she pulls him in, gently connecting their lips. the way the interlock is something out of matt’s wildest dreams, serenity coating him from head to toe. he’s tugging and grasping with all his might, always needing her closer.
he can feel her lashes on his cheek, can feel her nails on the nape of his neck, can feel her love through every swipe of her tongue. he never wants to be anywhere but here.
there’s a knock at the door. “matt, we gotta go!” it’s chris. “y’all are too quiet in there so i’m staying my ass out here.”
she breaks the kiss with a giggle. “duty calls.”
he groans, resting his head on her shoulder. “so not fair.”
though it’s a fight, from matt mostly, she untangles herself and stands. she extends a hand to pull matt up, giving him a chaste kiss. “it’s okay, matty, go. i’ll be right here when you get back. always.”
***
turns out that always didn’t mean forever.
there’s a low static sound coming from the t.v, but matt pays it no mind. he’s been sat there for what feels like hours, staring into the distance. he has no idea where his brothers are, something about a friends house or something.
it’s been a couple months since the two split. since matt’s entire world shifted off its axis. he hasn’t seen you since you came to drop off the box of stuff that was filling your apartment. still hurts like the first day though.
matt fights with the same urge he gets every night at about this time. during the day is easier. he’s either asleep or so busy with work that he doesn’t really think about the you-shaped hole in his life. doesn’t really think about the absence of your toothbrush in his bathroom, or the lack of your perfume on his sheets. yeah, the day is infinitely easier.
it’s at night, when he cracks. when he turns in bed and there’s no one there. when he can’t hear the sink running because you’re doing your ridiculous sixteen-step skincare routine. when he walks to his bed just fine because there’s no ill placed bag in the middle of the floor to trip over. it feels like walking into a room and immediately forgetting what you were meant to be doing. he knows something is missing, but he doesn’t know how to get it back.
he wants to call you. wants to talk. to sort through all the communication that wasn’t handled well. it wasn’t a messy breakup, or even a hostile one. and somehow, matt thinks that’s worse. he’d prefer yelling and arguing and just knowing you weren’t right for each other anymore.
but it wasn’t that. instead it was distance and tears and feeling like right now there just wasn’t enough space in each others lives for one another.
he didn’t want this. at all. he wondered if you felt the same. he’d stared at the phone countless night willing himself to dial the number. to draft a text. he’d spent just as many willing you to do the same. it never came though.
matt knows tonight is different. the hum of the ac is lulling the anxious feelings in his stomach. he knows by the way his shaky hands grab his phone that this time is going to be the one.
he doesn’t know what to say, nor how to get it out. he wants to pour his heart out, but he also can’t do that without looking at you. without seeing you and feeling the rush of unwavering love he always got whenever his eyes met yours. it wouldn’t be fair.
so he starts off light and hopes for the best. you always did used to say that he had a way of knowing you better than anyone else.
he hopes to god that’s still true.
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a/n: i’m tewwwwww good to y’all fr. jus sumn lite bc i love that damn song soooo bad and it came on this morning and a giant ass cartoon lightbulb went off in my head. anyway number neighbor part five & six later today cause ik that’s what u guys really want 😭 i hope u guys like this okie bye i love you all sooooo bad!!!
TAGLIST:
@sturnioloco @peachmels @sugrhigh @tastesousweet @rootbeerworshiper @hollandsangel @sturnolio-luvs @mattsobvimyfav @misscocodiorsblog @ilovechrisssturniolo @pepsiboyy @braindead4l @mxqdii @fawnchives @hearts4chriss @certifiednatelover @nmegamett20 @imaslut4kehlani @dominicfikue @wovenribbons @streamermattsgf @pr1ncessmatt @pinksturniolo @yourfavoritefangirl @nickmillersn1gf @freshxsturniolo @sturniolobltch @mattspolitank @lookingformyromeo @alorsxsturn @imwetforyourmom @kiarastromboli @sleepysturnss @mattscoquette @sturncakez @inkyray @simply-a-simper @lanas-doll @wh0resstuff @giannasturn @iluvmattsbeard @mattsmad @bambi-slxt
(also if i add tags based on requests and on comments so if u ever want to be taken off let me know!!!! jus send me an ask or a message and it’s no problem <3333)
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wifeyoozi · 2 days
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What is your opinion of ot13 with a taller s/o
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Ot13 seventeen : when you are taller than them
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seungcheol : ok on surface he doesn't shows if it affects him or not but deep down he just loves how tall you are. He was a little insecure at the very very start about being shorter than you, but now he absolutely loves it. He'll buy you a lot of heels if you like wearing them just so he can crane his neck up and look at you like that. Loves feeling of you two give the vibe of the rich CEO and his model girlfriend.
Jeonghan : you just gave him the perfect opportunity to be a bratty sub. He actually loves feeling tiny next to you. He'll also definitely call you noona/mommy even if you are younger than him just so you'll baby him. Would sometimes wear baggy clothes and cuddle next to your side just to feel tinier next to you.
Joshua : I think he doesn't mind at all? Like "oh you're 180 cm? That's like so cool! Anyways my fave colour is blue wbu?" Like he'd love the fact you're so tall and so pretty but it wouldn't really affect him as much even if you weren't.
Jun : in public, he'll opt the more traditionally masculine and dominant roles despite your height, but in private, he is just a babie. absolute babie. you're gonna have to pamper him and always pay attention to him and peg him and cuddle with him. unironically always the little spoon.
hoshi : literally on his knees for you. you are his queen, his tigress and he's gonna worship you all the time. loves when you ruffle his hair or rest your head on top of his. is always hugging your hips. he may even wear some of your clothes if they look baggy on him.
wonwoo : an otherwise very dom wonu would sub for you. he is so tall and if you are taller than him, you are literally a goddess and he will do anything you ask him to. lowkey develops a praise kink with you. but he's also very soft for you and would take care of you all the time instead of letting otherway around happen.
woozi : at first he was really shy and insecure about roaming around with you in public, especially when you wore heels. also hates the way his members sometimes (all the time) teased him about it, but that phase passed soon, after he got more comfortable around you and you scolded his friends for teasing him. now he's a proud boyfriend who loves to show off his beautiful model-like tall girlfriend.
minghao : I just know everytime you two go out people think you are some luxury brand models. He feels proud of your height actually, loves how beautiful and elegant you look when you wear the luxurious brand clothes he buys you. Wouldn't be shy or embarassed at all about looking shorter to you.
Mingyu : the fact that you are taller than him is hot enough already, lemme tell you that first. You are one powerful couple. He likes lifting you up just so he's craning his neck up at you like you are the sun to his life (you definitely are). He just finds you so incredibly hot for being that height, loves when you use your height to dominate over him sometimes
Seokmin : he's so shy about it. Not embarrassed shy but i-am-so-in-love-with-you shy. Believes that you are the most beautiful woman on the planet. Literally would do anything for you. On his knees to eat you out serve you anytime of the day. Literally feels so subby when you're next to him.
Seungkwan : he loves how close his face is to your boobs. He could hug you and his face would be planted in your boobs or in the crook of your neck. So damn comforting. Feels so safe around you, especially when you hug him from the back and rest your head on top of his. Tho he'd be sooooo damn sulky for the rest of the month of you made even a single joke about his height even once hehe.
Vernon : externally, he doesn't look like the height difference bothers him at all. Internally he's screaming MOMMY. Loves the way you tower him, especially when you're riding him. He's your big responsibility. Can't shut up about you being the hottest woman everytime he's with his friends talking about their girlfriends. Literally still in shock how he managed to pull you.
Chan : at first he was a little embarrassed and tried to wear insoles and heels a lot often to look as tall as you, if not taller. Don't get him wrong, he loves how tall and beautiful you are and literally simps over you for that, he just feels insecure about his own height sometimes. Tho now he doesn't mind the height anymore, since you told him about how you love him the same despite his height. In fact he loves being shorter to you sometimes now, feeling how it makes your relationship more unique.
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That's My Man
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~500
Warnings: fluff
Summary: Spencer gets a haircut and you have a most pleasant reaction to it.
Square Filled: holidays (2023) for @cmbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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It’s been an entire month since you’ve seen your boyfriend but he’s back now. He spent Christmas and New Years with his mother back in Las Vegas while you stayed with your family in Virginia. You two are still so new that you haven’t had the chance to meet his family, and you weren't going to let your first meeting be the holidays.
If and when you’re going to do it, you want to do it right.
While the holidays might be over, the snow is still coming down in waves, making this a white winter. Snow is probably your favorite kind of weather because you get to create angels and snowmen and forts and anything else you want. You want to do that and go ice skating with Spencer tomorrow when the sun is out but for right now, you’re going to have a movie marathon.
He’s staying over for the entire weekend and you can’t be more excited than you are right now.
“Y/N?” Spencer’s voice comes from the front hallway. The door opens to face a solid wall fifteen feet from the door. To the left is the kitchen and to the right is the living room. “I’m here!”
You gave him a key pretty early on because you already knew he was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. It’s one of those things where you just know. You love him so much and you don’t want to waste any time with him.
“In here!” you call from the right. Spencer shrugs off his jacket and hangs it on the hook in front of him before closing and locking the door. He walks into the living room and you turn to greet him when a confused frown sits on your face. “Why are you wearing a beanie?”
Spencer hates hats. He doesn’t like the feel of them or how he looks in them. Why is he wearing a beanie? He hasn’t all winter.
“I don’t know. I liked how it looked on me.”
“Mmhmm.” You get up and walk over to him. “Now what’s the real reason?” He looks shy as if he’s embarrassed to tell you. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. Just… don’t laugh, okay?”
“Okay.”
He takes off his beanie and your jaw practically drops to the floor. He messes with his hair to make it look good but you’re fixed on that the fact that he got a haircut. He doesn't have long curly hair anymore. It’s short and slightly spiked. There are longer pieces in the front but he’s cut it all off.
God fucking damn. He looks so goddamn fine.
“Please say something,” he sighs, unable to take the silence anymore.
“Oh, my God.” He lowers his head knowing you must hate it. “Look at my man!” He snaps his head up as a slight blush creeps up his neck. “Damn, you look so good! Is that Spencer Reid? My gorgeous man?”
“Okay, stop,” he smiles, blushing profusely. You jump into his arms and kiss his face all over, and he tips his head back and laughs. “Okay, okay, okay!”
You pull away with a loving smile and keep your arms wrapped around his neck.
“You look very handsome.”
“Thank you,” he smiles.
Choosing you has got to be the best thing he could have ever done for himself.
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Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
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morgana-larkin · 2 days
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Hi!! I absolutely ADORE your writing!! This is my first request so please don’t get mad 🙏🏾🙏🏾!!
Long story short Melissa accidentally snaps on the reader and the reader ignores her for gives her blunt responses for the rest of the day and Melissa makes it up to her 😏😏
PSA: it doesn’t have to be smut!!! That’s just the first thing that came to mind!
Hi!! I’m so happy you love my writing! And anon never feel guilty about sending a prompt, I was not mad in the slightest. I had a lot of fun writing this and it honestly took me over a day as I kept getting distracted. And obviously I’m gonna include smut if you ask for it. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: I’m still taking requests, I currently have 10 prompts to get too and 3 other pieces I’m doing, so please be patient if you send one!
Side note: don’t know if the gif fits but she looks so hot with that pen in her mouth 🫠
Make Up and Make Out
Warnings: feisty Mel, swearing, smut
Words: 3.5k
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You and Melissa have been dating for 2 months now. While it’s still new, you know that you and Melissa love each other even if neither of you have said those 3 words yet. The Abbott crew knows, they were the ones that set you two up when they got tired that neither of you got your head out of your ass and asked the other one out.
It’s Friday morning and you're walking in through the doors of Abbott. You walk in and immediately see Melissa stomping angrily across the floor to her classroom. You decide to go and check on her and see what’s upsetting her.
You knock and open her door. “Melissa?” You say gently and she turns to look at you.
“What?” She bites out and you are taken back but you don’t take it personally.
“I came to check on you, you seem upset.” You tell her.
“I’m fine.” She grits out and you walk closer to her.
“You sure?” You press.
“Yes I’m fine, I just want to be left alone.” She tells you.
“You don’t seem fine.” You push. And Melissa is trying not to take her anger out on you but with everything going on and you keep pushing, her anger is rising.
“Y/n please leave. I want to be alone.” She spits out.
“Mel, if something is going on with you then I’m here for you.” You tell her and then Melissa explodes.
“Y/N! I DON’T WANT YOU HERE! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE! DON’T YOU EVER LISTEN OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID!” She yells at you and you admit that it hurt.
“I’m sorry, I’ll let you be.” You tell her defeated and you look down at the ground as you leave her classroom.
As soon as you close her door, a couple tears spring to your eyes and you head to your own classroom which is down the hallway
Melissa silently stews in her classroom until the kids get there. She ran into Joe and his new wife this morning at the gas station. She seemed really happy with him, and it just reminded her of her marriage with him. She was happy at first too, and then it slowly declined. What if it happens again with you? She didn’t want to be with you due to her issues and feelings with relationships but after getting to know what it would be like to be with you, she couldn’t stay away. She’s thinking if maybe she should stay with you or let you go so you can go live your life with someone else that doesn’t have the issues she does.
The morning passes by and she’s seen you a few times in the hall but you ignored her every time. She knows she hurt you this morning when you came to check on her and she should apologise, but too many thoughts are swirling in her head, concerning you and your relationship.
At lunch in the break room, you walk in and get a coffee ready without even looking at Melissa and she sighs. You just get a coffee with your back turned to her, Melissa stands up and walks over to stand beside you.
“Y/n?” She says and you just glance at her before resuming what you were doing. “Can we talk after school at my place?” She says to you and you furrow your eyebrows. Is she really going to break up with you.
“I’m busy after school.” You tell her.
“With what?” She questions. You originally had plans tonight to see each other so she thought that might still happen.
“None of your business.” You bite out and she sighs.
“What about tomorrow?” She tries and you roll your eyes. You grab your lunch from the fridge, grab your coffee and leave. Leaving a hurt Melissa behind.
Once you get to your classroom, you close and lock your door. You then sit down at your desk and you sigh. You bring your knees up to your chest and you curl in on yourself.
The afternoon goes just how the morning went, everytime Melissa sees you and either waves or tries to talk to you, you ignore her.
When all the students leave, Melissa sits back in her chair and sighs. She’s worried that you guys aren’t going to last much longer and it’s all because of her. In that moment, she hears a knock at her door and she looks, hoping it’s you.
“Oh, hey Barb.” She says when she sees Barb standing there looking worried.
“Hey dear.” She says and enters, she closes the door and walks over to the redhead. “I’ve noticed some tension between you and y/n today.” She says and Melissa groans.
“I know, I yelled at her this morning by accident and she’s avoiding me and I don’t blame her.” Melissa says and covers her face with her hands.
“Why did you yell at her?” Barb says and brings one of the students chairs over to Melissa’s desk and sits on it.
“I ran into Joe and his new wife at the gas station this morning. She seemed really happy with him.” She says and removed her hands from her face
“I feel like there’s more to this.” Barb pushes. “Cause I doubt you still have feelings for Joe.”
“Ya there’s more. It made me think of how happy I was with him at first, before the problems started. And I thought, what if it happens with y/n too? Should I just back out now? And all those thoughts kept swirling around in my head and she saw that I was upset and came to check on me. She tried to get me to talk to her and I kept telling her to leave me alone, and when she didn’t, I snapped at her.” Melissa says and Barb looks at her, processing what Melissa just told her.
“Melissa, I know you know this but I think you need to hear it, y/n is not Joe. Your relationship with her is different than your relationship with Joe.”
“I know, and she’s so young Barb. What if I fuck her up the way that my marriage with Joe fucked me up?” Melissa says.
“Melissa I can’t give you what you need, I can’t give you reassurance because I don’t know the future. But maybe that’s a good thing. Why worry about the future when you should focus on the present.” Barb tells her.
“Easier said than done.” She says and sighs.
“I know. But answer this Melissa, do you want to lose y/n?” She asks and that catches Melissa off guard. She was thinking at the beginning of the day that maybe you’ll be better off without her but then she got upset when you started ignoring her. After getting a taste of what it would be like to not have you anymore today, she wants to stay with you. She hated that you ignored her today.
“No.” Is all Melissa says but it Barb knew how much thought Melissa put in to that answer.
“Then you need to apologise and explain.” She tells her.
“I want to do that right now but she said she has plans right now.” Melissa says and Barb chuckles.
“She lied, she has nothing going on.” Barb tells her.
“How do you know?”
“Because I ran into her on the way here and I asked her about her plans tonight and she said she’s staying home and possibly watch movies.” She tells her. And at that Melissa gets up and gathers her things.
“Thanks Barb.” Melissa tells her and she runs to her car.
Barb shakes her head and smiles. “I love those two but they can be such idiots.” She tells herself and then leaves to go home.
Melissa drives to your place and gets out and sprints to your door then knocks. You hear the knock but you don’t feel like getting up from the couch, so you ignore it.
Melissa thinks maybe you didn’t hear it so she knocks again but louder. You hear the louder knock and you get up as someone is here to talk to you and is willing to knock twice. You open the door and see Melissa there and your heartbeat speeds up. You think maybe she’s here to end things.
“Melissa.” You say.
“Hi, can I come in?” She asks.
“If you’re here to break up with me, I’d rather you just do it here.” You tell her.
“Well then luckily I’m not here to break up with you.” She tells you and you look at her confused. “I’m here to apologise for this morning and to explain what happened.” She says and you move to the side to let her in. She walks in and goes to your couch to sit down and you join her after closing the door.
“Ok, so what happened this morning then?” You ask and she takes a deep breath.
“I ran into Joe and his new wife this morning at the gas station.“ She starts and you put an arm on the top of the couch and lean your head on your hand and look at Melissa. “She looked happy with him, and it reminded me of when he and I were married. I was that happy as well, but only for a few years. And it made me think about us and what if it happens again like it did with Joe. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships. A failed marriage and failed proposal isn’t something to brag about. I don’t want to ruin relationships for you either. I thought maybe it would be best if I let you go now and you could go live your best life without me.” She tells you and you look at her surprised. “Then when you went to check up on me, all those thoughts were spiralling and you kept pushing and I snapped and I’m sorry. When you were ignoring me today, I basically got a taste of life without you and I don’t want that life.” She tells you and then looks at your eyes. “I hope you still want to be with me, because I still want to be with you.” She tells you and you stare at her, mouth open.
“What if this happens again? And that time you actually break up with me?” You ask her and Melissa looks down with guilt, it was a fair question.
“I can’t promise you what you want to hear, I don’t know what’s going to happen, and it scares me too.” She looks up at you. “But right now I want to be with you. I love you.” She says and you look at her stunned. She said it, those 3 words.
“You love me?” You ask her and she nods.
“I do, I love you very much.” She tells you and you smile at her.
“I love you too.” You tell her and she looks at you shocked then she smiles. “And of course I want to stay with you.” You tell her and she beams.
She leans forward, she cups your cheek and she kisses you. You kiss her back immediately and you run your fingers through her beautiful ginger locks.
“Let me make it up to you. I want to show you how much I love you.” She tells you when she pulls back. You look at her a little breathless from the kiss and you nod. You two haven’t had sex yet as you were taking it slow. You couldn’t believe your luck today. It started out shitty but then she tells you she loves you and then wants to have sex.
She stands up and gets you to stand up too, then she picks you up bridal style and carries you to your bedroom. She places you on the bed, then straddles your lap and kisses you deeply.
She pulls your shirt up and you two break away from the kiss for a second then go right back to kissing. She snakes her hands to your back and unclips your bra, before she gets a chance, you take it off and throw it to the ground. Melissa laughs at your eagerness then pulls back to get a good look at you. She places her hands on you and touches you everywhere. “You have such a beautiful body.” She tells you and you smile.
“You’ve only seen half of it.”
“Ya, and I love what I’m seeing already.” She says to you and you blush. She then pushes you down and you lay on your back. She kisses your lips then she sneaks a kiss on your nose and forehead and you giggle. She then goes to one of your ears and licks and sucks on it. She then goes to your other ear and does the same thing, she wants both sides to get the same amount of attention.
After, she travels down to your neck, she kisses it and sucks in the middle and you gasp and arch your back. She ends up leaving 4 hickeys on your neck, 2 on each side, before travelling down to your chest. She leaves kisses all over your chest before putting a nipple in her mouth and sucking. While sucking and licking the nipple, she unbuttons your jeans, pulls the zipper down and sneaks her hand in your jeans and underwear. She pulls back from the nipple at the same time you gasp when her finger finds your clit. She then gets off the bed and takes off your remaining clothes, goes on her knees, pulls your body towards her and connects her mouth with your pussy.
“OMG!” You say. You’ve had sex before but for some reason many girls don’t want to do oral, which is a shame as it’s your favourite. You feel her smirk after you say that and you look down at her and she’s indeed smiling. She looks up with her eyes at you and sees you looking at her, and that’s when she decides to connect her tongue with your clit. You gasp and grab her hair, she moans as you grab and pull her hair a bit. The moan vibrates on your clit and you buck your hips, Melissa has to pin you down to stop you from moving. She doesn’t stop, she knows you’re close by the way you’re shaking. You come with a gasp seconds later and Melissa licks it all up.
She gets up and takes her shirt and pants off, then motions for you to move to the head of the bed, which you do. She then climbs on top of you and kisses your lips. You taste yourself on her and you moan and grab her head, deepening the kiss. Then she slips her tongue in and you lose all thought, except the thought of her. You reach her back and you unclip her bra and take it off. You want to feel all of her without clothing in the way. Once the bra is off you put your hands back on her back and feel all over, she has such soft skin and want to be able to feel it forever. You then migrate to her front and put your hands on her stomach and feel all of it and moan. You then move up and feel her neck then move down to her chest and cup her boobs. This time she moans and you begin playing with her nipples. You break apart from the kiss and Melissa can’t stop kissing you and moves down to kiss your neck.
“Hmm Melissa, please, I want your nipples in my mouth.” You tell her and she smiles. She knows you’re more of a breast girl as she’s caught you looking at her breasts more than her ass. She pulls away from your neck and slides up a bit so her boobs are in your face. You put one nipple in your mouth and put your hand on the boob and cup it while your other hand is playing with the other.
Melissa feels as you suck and move your tongue all over her nipple and she moans. Of course all her sexual partners that she’s had have always been interested in her boobs as they’re big. But all of them never really know how to properly use their mouth on them. But it seems you know exactly what to do to make her let out so many sounds. Then she realises that all her past partners also never did something else well and she wants you to try it.
Once you’re almost done with her second nipple, she speaks up. “My love, Amore?” She says and you pull back and you look at each other. “There’s something that I’ve always wanted to do and was wondering if you’d be interested.” She says and you look at her and smile.
“What is it?” You ask her and she bites her lip.
“Face sitting.” She says and you look at her.
“With you on someone’s face or someone on yours?” You ask.
“With me on someone’s face.” She says and looks down a bit embarrassed. You bring a hand to her chin and make her look up.
“What are you waiting for then? Come sit on my face.” You say excitedly and she beams.
“Really?”
“Ya, come on.” You tell her and she strips her underwear off then she moves up, grips the headboard and lowers herself on your mouth. Before she’s fully on she looks at you concerned.
“If you need air then like tap my leg 3 times or something.” She says and you nod.
She lowers herself fully and your tongue is immediately all over her entrance and she gasps. With your experienced tongue all over her pussy, it doesn’t take long until she’s grinding on your mouth. You have to hold her legs so she doesn’t block your air flow and you move to her clit. She’s moaning and gasping as you’re sucking and licking her clit so well and she’s starting to shake. She comes 10 seconds later and it all goes in your mouth and on your face.
She gets up and moves back down and kisses you. “Thank you.” She tells you.
“Of course.” You tell her and Melissa can tell that you’re turned on so much right now and moves her hand down to your entrance and pushes a finger in. You gasp and she starts sliding it in and out and then she adds another. She adds a thumb to your clit and you’re trying to grind but her body on yours is stopping you from moving. Then you realise her body is on yours, and you could move your thigh up straight to her core, so you do.
“Oh, fuck.” She says when your thigh is putting pressure on her core. “What are you doing?” She says and slows her movements down.
“Wanting you to grind on my leg.” You say and she raises her eyebrows at you.
“How about I can grind on your leg after I make you come?” She offers and you nod and lower your leg. She speeds up her movements and you’re moaning and gasping. Not too long after you come and she slows down before pulling out of you and she licks her fingers that were inside of you. She then moves to straddle her thigh and starts grinding on it as promised. You can’t help but stare at this beautiful woman, who’s also your girlfriend, grinding on your leg. You put your hands on her hips to help and you tense up your thigh to give her more pleasure. “Oh god, y/n.” She moans out and she brings one of your hands to her boob to get more pleasure and you put your other hand on her ass and cup a cheek. “Do I feel nice and wet on your thigh baby?” She asks you and the only thing you can do is nod as the rest of your brain power has fucked off. “Hmm, you make me so wet, you and that magical tongue of yours.” She gasps out and you smile. She comes seconds later and you feel it drop on your thigh.
She pulls off of you and grabs the Kleenex on your nightstand and cleans you both up. She then lays down beside you and you both catch your breath. She looks at you and sees you’re already staring at her and she opens her arms out with a “come here” and you go and cuddle into her.
“I’m still so sorry for snapping at you.” She tells you and you completely forgot about that.
“It’s ok, I forgive you. And honestly, I forgot about it.” You say and she giggles.
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keirawantstocry · 1 day
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Would a prompt for Tubbo to show up at Fit an Pac's doorstep absolutely fuming work? Like maybe it isn't Tubbo in control it's Tommy here to give the 2 an ear full because Tubbo has been a mess, months of miscommunication building to thinking they have been left behind, months of Tommy hoping he was right not to jump in cause it meant his husband paid attention to him. But Tubbo's a wreck heartbroken it can't be ignored anymore, how could they just drop him like that weren't they steps away from all 3 of them dating? Was that not worth fighting for?
Sorry if it's too detailed prompts are not my specialty it seems 9 w 9;;
I thought maybe a prompt of how left out Tubbo felt would be nice something that gave Fit and Pac pause to see that the hostility Tubbo shows at times to their relationship was because of that but also thought Tubbo would never say it or open up to anyone but I know you also subscribe to Tommy possessing his husband sometimes... I'm going to flee now I'm rambling too much ...
Have a lovely day!
it's been a while but you have a lovely day!
Tommy was mad. Tommy was furious. 
Tubbo was in the back of the mind they were currently sharing, sulking. He was so upset and it made Tommy furious. So he took over. Grabbed the reins of Tubbo's body and took control. 
Tommy stomped their body right over to Pac and Fit's house while Tubbo was too busy keeping his tears at bay to protest. 
“Hey!” 
Pac looked confused when he opened the door. “Ola?” 
Tommy huffed, crossing his arms firmly. “Listen to me, man.” 
Fit appeared behind him with a cautious look. “Hey, Tubbo. What's up?” 
“Listen to me!” Tommy repeated. “You guys are assholes. He's not perfect, okay? He pulls away from affection and he's a little bitch half the time. But he's my best friend. He's an amazing person and he would rather choke than say it but he fucking loves you two. He's been moping in our fucking mind for ages. He won't stop crying and as soon as he figures out I'm saying this he's gonna take over this vessel and I won't be able to tell you. So fucking listen.” 
They both stared at him with wide eyes as he drove his finger forward to drive them further back into their own house. 
“He loves you both. Not the deep platonic bond he has with me. Because trust me,” Tommy scoffed. “What I have with him will last beyond your lifetimes. Completely and utterly. But he fucking loves you guys. I mean the way he talks about you two. The way he thinks about you two. God. It's so fucking annoying. He's mentally collapsing over how attractive he thinks you two are. It's so ridiculous.” 
Tommy took a deep breath. Pac tried to cut in but he made sure he couldn't. 
“No. Let me finish. Right now he's starting to stir in our consciousness. When he takes over I need you to kiss him and make up. Fuck, it's gonna be disgusting and I'm going to hate it but its better then having to see… the most important fucking person in my fucking life… having to be hurt over and over again by people he loves. So do your cringe ass lovey dovey shit and make sure he feels loved. For the love of-” 
He was cut off. Snapped back into the back of Tubbo's mind. Fuck, he swore to himself. Please let those idiots understand me.
Through Tubbo's eyes he watched. Watched as Pac took Tubbo's face as soon as his own words slipped out of his lips and kissed him. Murmured the sappiest shit he had ever heard in his ears while Fit hesitantly took him by the hand.
And Tommy was right. It was gross and he hated it. But the joy that flooded through Tubbo's body was undeniable and calmed his spirit. He could finally rest. 
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niqhtlord01 · 1 hour
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Humans are weird: Family Drama
( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)
To Abarxsis one’s family was something sacred and meant to be treasured. It contained those who were with you from the first moments of your age and would join you along your journey through time longer than any friend or colleague could. It was a feeling he held onto greatly and shaped the foundation of who he was. It was a trait he was glad to see shared amongst many humans as they too sought out family to such an extreme that they would pack bond with anyone or anything to obtain that sense of unity. Yet it was with some great surprise that when he inquired about his human lovers’ family they would refuse to even mention them.
 Whenever the topic of family was brought up their mood would shift like a switch had been flipped and all the joy and expression of them would bleed away and be replaced with a cold chill. Abarxsis learned that it was unwise to bring up the topic, but he still could not let it go until he knew why they were so against their own kin.
One night, Abarxsis was watching human entertainment while his lover slept and saw a strange situation unfold. The protagonist, like his lover, also was estranged from their family and refused to meet them. So the other characters surprised them by inviting their family over without telling them so the two parties could reunite and make peace once more.
This notion of restoring unity gave Abarxsis the idea that he could do the same for his lover and so he set out to track them down himself. It took several months of messages and follow ups until finally he had tracked down their family. When he mentioned that he wished for them to reunite they were thrilled at the prospect and agreed to meet them for dinner.
The day finally came and Abarxsis had taken his lover out under the pretext of a romantic dinner. When the pair arrived the rest of the family was already waiting at the table. They stood and smiled as the pair approached and extended hands of friendship, but Abarxsis noticed his lover had remained frozen at the doorway.
A myriad of emotions went across their face as their eyes focused on the family. Their hands tightened into fists as they looked slowly from the table to Abarxsis, who was still smiling, and glared at him.
“You did this?” she asked through clenched teeth.
The smile quickly fell away from Abarxsis’s face as he realized something was very much wrong.
“Abarxsis did.” He confirmed. “Abarxsis saw how talking of family upset Kelly, so Abarxsis-“
Kelly turned and left the room without hearing out the rest of his reasoning. He turned back and saw Kelly’s family looking confused and went after his lover. She stood out in front of the restaurant pulling out her communicator to summon a hover cab.
“What is wrong?” Abarxsis asked as he came up behind her. Kelly’s head turned to him to see it now awash with rage and anger….and betrayal, much to Abarxsis’s surprise.
“I told you I didn’t want to talk about my family.” Kelly began, her fists still clenched tight. “I had made it perfectly clear that I had no desire to speak with them, or speak of them, or even be near them from the moment we met.”
“Abarxsis know’s this-“  Abarxsis began but Kelly held up a hand to forestall him.
“You don’t speak,” she remarked harshly, “just stand there and listen because I am about to be as fucking direct as I can possibly be.”
Kelly only swore to Abarxsis when she was truly angry so Abarxsis remained silent as she continued.
“My family……”,she stopped and collected her thoughts for a moment as if a torrent of words wished to flow all at the same time from her mouth, “are nothing but parasites; and I have not wanted them near them since the day I left their hellhole of a home.”
“They have leached off me financially, mentally, and emotionally all my life. I was the only one to hold a stable job and they expected me to pay for them while they sat around and did nothing. I was the one they came to when they were dumped by their lovers after they found out they were cheating on them. And when I told them I wanted no more part in their problems they berated me by telling me without them I would not even be here so “it was the least you can do to be grateful”.”
Abarxsis had seen his lover angry before but this was something else. This was not just simple disdain or annoyance; this was a deep rooted hatred that ran through the core of Kelly’s being.
“I left,” she continued, “because it was the only way I could be free from their toxicity and now, despite me telling you otherwise, you have brought that toxicity back to me.”
“But..” Abarxsis spoke unsurely, “they are still Kelly’s family.”
“You were my new family.” Kelly laughed without joy and fixed him with a cold stare. “They stopped being my family the day I left them.”
A hover car slowly pulled up and the door popped open for Kelly. She started to enter when the rest of the family came out and started calling out to her.  Abarxsis watched Kelly look back at him and see her expression now one of disappointment and sorrow, before she entered the hover car and closed the door behind her.
The hover car pulled away as the family came up and began calling out Kelly’s name while shouting recent needs for money or how disappointed they were that she hadn’t spoken to them in so long. Once the hover car was out of sight the family then turned on Abarxsis making the same demands. Abarxsis looked at them with confusion as this was not what a family should be. The love and support he had felt from his was nowhere within the eyes of Kelly’s former family.
Abarxsis came to understand why Kelly did what she did and realized that despite their constant need to pack bonding and need for family, the human concept of family was something not as simple to define.  
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ash5monster01 · 2 hours
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Turnstiles
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Chapter Four - I’ve Loved These Days 🎶
Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader
Warnings: fluff, language, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death, abandonment issues, slight sadness.
Summary: You and Steve get your first place together and even if it isn’t glamorous, it’s good enough for the both of you as you leave the old days behind.
word count: 2.6k
Three ←→ Five
Masterlist
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Summer 1988
We hide our hearts from harder times
There were so many boxes. It seemed to be a never ending pile from the back of the moving truck, one neither of you could really afford but needed. Even with Dustin and Robin helping carry each new box in, it seemed every time you returned to the truck there was just as many if not more. You couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped your lips as you looked at the very daunting pile that you knew would take you more than likely a month to finally put all in place.
“Don’t tell me we’re giving up already” that familiar sultry voice whispered in your ear, arms snaking around your waist from behind.
“Not giving up, just trying to gain the courage” you tell him, a small smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. You knew as much as Steve would try to help he would also play with everything he unpacked before actually putting it away, making the process much longer than it needed to be.
“It’s not that bad” Steve said with a soft shake of his head, small tufts of hair falling loose from the action.
“Yes it is, you packed every trophy you have ever earned in your entire life” you tell him, pointing to the large box labeled ‘Steve’s Achievements’.
“Hey I earned those, I can’t just throw them out” Steve pouts as you break out of his arms, doing your best attempt at climbing up into the truck to grab another box.
“I know handsome, I just have to tease” you say leaning down and he’s happy to bring his pouty lips to yours and leave a quick kiss. As much as you teased, you had felt bad. When Steve announced to his parents you were officially getting a place together they decided to put the house up for sale since they were never there anyways. As much as Steve didn’t have a great childhood it was still the only home he had ever known. You knew it took a toll on him and forced him to pack every single one of his belongings instead of the necessities.
“Hey dingus, why are we the only ones carrying shit?” Robin called out as she stepped out the doors of the small apartment, spotting you juggling a new box while Steve lingered at the back of the truck.
“I need my rest Robin, if Rosy’s shit wasn’t so heavy” he called back and you shot him a quick glare which made him laugh softly.
“You’re an idiot” Robin mumbled as you handed her the box in your arms and picked up a new one.
“What the hell Steve! Why are the girls the only one’s carrying your shit?” Dustin called out, exiting the home as well and you and Robin quickly erupt in giggles as Steve groans out.
“I don’t have a box in my arms for two seconds and I get harassed. What the hell is this?” Steve says mostly to himself, jumping up into the truck much easier than you did and you watch as he goes for one of the small boxes.
“Uh-uh mister. You’re bringing that one in” you say, nodding your head to the trophy box and Steve rolls his eyes before doing what he was told.
“God you’re so whipped” Robin snorts before starting back for the apartment ready to unload the boxes as fast as she can.
“I’m not whipped!” he called out quickly in defense but Dustin just laughed and grabbed a box for himself.
“It’s okay Stevie, you’re allowed to be whipped. I definitely am for you” you tell him sweetly and he grins, the oddly large trophy box now in his arms.
“I love you” he hums out, leaning and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before hopping out of the truck. Your heart flutters due to the sentiment, never getting tired of the words he finally spoke a year and a half ago. Well actually wrote but ever since then he told you every chance he got and you loved it every time.
It had been over three years since you met Steve Harrington and you were pretty sure you’d never get tired of him. He came to you when you needed him most and you did the same for him. Since that day you hadn’t spent a day apart and making this decision, deciding to live together, after years of working and saving money, you had no regrets at all. This was it, he was your soulmate and this was only the beginning of a lifetime of years ahead. Small apartment or not, he was yours and that alone was a breath of relief.
“Need an invitation?” Robin called to you from the small house and you just chuckled before grabbing your things and making your way to the house. A house that would probably hold you and Steve for another few years, be your shelter from the storm, and despite its empty walls and bare floors, you couldn’t wait to make it a home.
It’s dusk by the time all the boxes are unloaded into your home and Robin and Dustin are long gone. Just looking at the mess you know you’re too tired to face it until tomorrow, so you make do with what you have. You make quick work of making a bed of the mattress on the floor, saving the frame building for tomorrow. When it looks decent enough to sleep on you make your way out of your room to find Steve. Much to your surprise he’s in the living room, boxes now cleared off the coffee table, and take out from the local diner on the table.
“I made dinner” he grins at you, sitting on the ground as he pours you a glass of wine in a mug. You giggle at the thought of it being the only thing he could find and join him on the floor.
“What’s this for?” you curiously ask, taking the mug from his hand and smiling at the food and candle he had set up.
“This is to taking our time. The last few years have felt like a race to the finish line and we finally made it” he says, recalling all the long hours and savings account expenses. Had it not been for the alternator going in Steve’s BMW you would’ve been here much sooner but at least you were here.
“Cheers to that” you say, clinking the mug against his own before taking a sip. Steve just smiles and looks to the simple plate of food. He loved that you both could live your lives so nonchalant, spend your nights living a luxurious lifestyle even if it’s just a small apartment.
“The money comes, the money goes, but we finally made it baby” he tells you and you quickly kiss him before grabbing the wrapped burger that your stomach grumbles for. Not realizing how hungry you were after a whole day of moving.
His words wash a sense of comfort over you. Knowing now you could spend your days a bit more relaxed, eat dinner in silk robes and light lamps for atmosphere. Even if the apartment was a passing phase in the start of the rest of your life you were both going long. Hanging hopes on chandeliers while gaining weight and sleeping in late. You had loved those days before living together but it was time to change your ways and love these new days. The days meant for just the two of you before something more comes along, something bigger.
“Did your parents say when they’re selling the house?” you ask around a bite of your burger, trying to get a better read on him and how he feels.
“By the end of the month, Dad says if I need anything to get it by then” he mutters, heart clenching over the fact. He hated that empty house, despised it, but these last few years it wasn’t really empty.
“I’m sorry honey” you tell him, wiping your face with a napkin and he shrugs.
“It’s okay, I was meant to move out sometime. Just wish it was still somewhat mine, you know? They were never there so much it sorta always felt like it did. Then when I started spending time with the kids and you there, I guess I just always imagined I’d stay there, raise my kids, teach em how to swim in the pool and how to ride their bike in the driveway. Make it more of a home then it ever was to me” Steve explains, eyes cast over the table and lost in a memory that hadn’t happened yet. Your heart instantly softens to the boy, hand reaching out to settle in his own just like you did when you first met.
“I’m sorry Stevie, but just think about how we can make those memories in our own home. A home we’ll grow old in and our kids can visit whenever and bring their kids with them” you tell him and Steve can’t help the small grin that cracks along his face at the sentiment.
“Is this you saying it’s you and I forever Rosy?” he inquires, devious eyes glimmering into your own and you laugh, cheeks flushing red.
“Well I’d say moving in together kinda deals the deal” you tell him and Steve grins before reaching over to grab your waist. Much to your surprise he lifts you effortlessly over and into his lap where his face nuzzles into your neck.
“Then it’s you and me forever, I promise” he tells you, warm breath tickling your skin. Now you both could indulge in things refined and hide your hearts from the harder times.
This marked the start of drowning your doubts in dry champagne and dreaming of your future. A future that if you dreamed hard enough could include real pearls, foreign cars, caviar and cabernet wine. Yet the real riches was a future with each other, a future that included kids and endless memories to be shared. You didn’t really care if you only ever lived in this apartment, the boy curled up next to you was the real dream.
“Another toast” you say, reaching for your mug and handing Steve his own. He follows right along, the bright red liquid sloshing up the side. This was something you wanted to say before the old versions of yourself end and the new ones begin.
“A toast to how it’s been and to all the new things we get to love. Including each other” you say and Steve happily clinks the mug against your own as you both tip back the sweet wine since Steve hated dry.
“I’ve loved these days and I’ll love the new ones too” Steve mutters into your neck and you smile and settle against him, finally relishing in the fact you were both sat in your shared living room. A space you and Steve could share while you got big wig jobs and engaged. A space designed for the both of you to grow as a couple who was meant to last forever.
“You think we’ll get tired of each other?” you voice your worries, knowing now that you shared such close quarters you were bound to find flaws within one another.
“Maybe but I’ll always love you more, and isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?” he asks, voice a soft hum into the late night of the barren home. You had a lot of work ahead of you but at this very moment you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
“I guess so” you smile, a softness twisting in your gut at how in love you are with this man beside you.
“Wait! I have an idea!” Steve suddenly says, sliding you delicately off his lap and to the ground. He’s up in a second, eyeing the labels of each of the boxes in search of something you’re not sure of. You watch with curiosity, waiting to see what the boy could possibly be up to now.
“Ah-ha!” he lets out once he finds what his looking for, large hands pulling back the folded cardboard pieces and digging inside. It’s when the familiar flash of silver is revealed you realize he’s in search of his boombox.
Finding the outlet Steve makes work of prepping the stereo for some mood music. It’s no surprise when the familiar flash of a Billy Joel album is pulled from the bottom of the box. He grumbled only slightly when he realized he needs to rewind the tape, smashing the button with an annoyed scowl. Yet when the tape finally spins back to the beginning, a grin covers his lips instead, as a familiar song starts to fill the room. Say Goodbye to Hollywood, the classic beginning of Billy’s 1976 album Turnstiles. A true testament to his talent, and one of Steve’s favorites.
“Dance with me?” he asks, hand held down to you on the ground and you don’t even hesitate to clasp your own with his, allowing him to lift you up and into his arms before spinning you around the room.
“Tell me something good?” you ask him, heart thumping softly against his own as you both sway around the living room, the barren walls soon to hold a lifetime of memories.
“The first time I heard this song I was spending the night at my Grandparents. I was nine and we were all in the kitchen making cookies. I remember my Grandma smelling like fresh flowers and the way my Grandpas laugh made you feel safe. Turnstiles had just come out, Billy’s latest album and Grandpa knew I hadn’t heard it yet. So he played the vinyl while I frosted cookies and this song began to play. Now every time I hear it I’m back in that kitchen just happy to have two people who really loved me” Steve says, a soft sadness cast over his eyes and you can’t stop yourself from pulling him close and leaving a soft kiss on his lips.
“I really would’ve liked to meet them” you whisper, hand curling at the back of his neck and fingers grazing the small tufts of hair there. He smiles and gives a soft squeeze to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.
“They would’ve loved you. My Grandpa would point out how smart you are, tease me about it too. Ask how I got a girl like you to date a doofus like me. And my Grandma, she would bake you pies and insist on sewing all your clothes when they got old and worn. Talk about how much she wished she had a granddaughter” Steve says like he knows and it’s because he does. They were the two people in his life who always made him feel safe and he knew them better than anyone. It sucked they weren’t here but knowing how much they would’ve loved you is comfort enough.
“I see them in you. In the way you take care of the kids and in the way you love me” you say and the look he gives you is different than any look you have ever received. Your heart accelerates just at the sight and before you can even process it the boy is kissing you like his life depends on it.
“I’m going to love these days too” he suddenly says, pulling back from the kiss a little breathless. A small laugh escapes your lips as he hugs you close.
“Yeah, well I count on having many of them”
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otakubimbo · 2 days
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Now I'm All Messed Up
Shoko Ieiri x F! Reader.
You and Shoko "break up"?
Hurt No Comfort, Not Proof Read, Wrote This In 30 Minutes.
OB talk: Inspired by the song Now I'm All Messed Up x Tegan and Sara. I couldn't get the idea out of my head after listening to Heartthrob for the 75th time. In my mind, it was written for a female reader but nothing is gendered.
The butt of her cigarette gets smashed under her shoe as Shoko enters into her empty apartment. It was devoid of life, devoid of joy, devoid of you.
Now I’m all messed up. Sick and tired of wondering where. Where you're leaving your makeup
Flashbacks of your terrible singing coming to her mind while she drops her stuff at the door, not even bothering to hang up anything properly. You should be dancing around in her kitchen right now, trying to stay awake as you make her a late-night dinner that she continually told you, you didn’t have to. But you always insisted. Before you, she barely ate dinner, she barely ate anything surviving off of cigarettes and coffee, but you made sure she ate, you made sure she took care of herself. You took care of her.
Now I’m all messed up. Sick and tired of wondering who Who’s life you're making worthwhile?
But now you were gone. Your light had left the cold apartment not long ago and she missed it. She missed you. You were her everything, and yet she was the reason you left. You were her everything, but in those last moments, in those last months, she treated you as if you were nothing to her but a burden. The genuine care you had for her was seen as nothing more than a nuisance as she was putting in overtime, barely sleeping, barely eating, and barely doing anything else besides work. The last words between the two of you still feel fresh in her mind.
Go (Please stay) Go, if you want, I can’t stop you.
You had brought her dinner to the hospital, another 24-hour shift.  She met you in the parking lot while she was taking a smoke break. As you handed her the dinner you packed you fiddle with your sleeves nervously as if you had something to say. The sight of it annoyed her for some reason, making her roll her eyes.
“What” her voice coming out in a huff.
“I know you’ve been so busy lately, and I understand that I do but I was wondering if you could take some time off to come to my art showing. This one’s kind of a big deal and you haven’t really had the time to go to the last few, which I completely understand I know how busy you are but if there was any way you could see if you could maybe take some time off and come. I understand if you can’t I do I was just hoping that maybe you could. If not it’s fine.”
You ramble on trying to downplay how important this galleria was to you. She had missed the last few ones, well more than a few the last several ones, and those were the ones where you had made some big connections that procured you a spot at this huge important galleria opening. Several of your paintings were going to be displayed and some of them were even going up for auction. This was actually a really big deal for you, an important step in your journey as an artist, and all you wanted was your girlfriend there.
Shoko stomped out her cigarette in annoyance, “If it’s not that important then why even ask me to come? You know they’ve been having me work triples here and what kind of time would I have to go to something like that.”
She was stressed and annoyed. Shoko knew that she shouldn’t be taking it out on you, shouldn’t have been constantly taking it out on you but she just couldn’t help it. No matter what she said or did, you always were so understanding, so forgiving, so ready to hold her after a long day stroking her hair as you told her how proud you were of her—kissing her head softly, comforting her until she fell asleep in the middle of the morning before you got up to take care of the house and the rest of your day. You loved her, you loved her with all that you had.
“Yeah no, you’re absolutely right. Sorry for even asking. I completely understand” Your eyes burned with the threat of tears; your voice wavering as you tried to keep your composure. Every word that was said to you, broke your heart bit by bit.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bother to you, maybe I should stay back at my own place for a while.” You suggest, hoping that she would come around, hoping that she wouldn’t agree.
“Yeah, probably if you want.”
You give her a sad nod, before trying around the tears already streaming down your face.
Just go if you want to. Go if you want, I can’t stop you. Go if you want, I can’t stop you.
That was the last time she had seen you in weeks. Now here she lay face down in her bed, somehow the sheets still smelled of you, everything in her room smelled like you. There were still bits of you in there, some things that you missed. The little frogs you sculpted for her still sat on the bedside table. There were a few unfinished canvases in her closet. There was still so much of you, except without you. All she was left with was the scent of cigarettes and you.
Now I’m all messed up. Sick and tired of wondering where. Where you’re leaving your makeup.
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turtletoria · 2 years
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a mask of my own face
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talentforlying · 2 months
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priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?
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constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...
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constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"
babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)
anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.
80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.
and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?
hm. i just don't know about all that.
#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD.#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things#and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering#the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things#idk man. i think about this issue all the time#if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc?#it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize#in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate#ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me#i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there#he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with#idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now#bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was#and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse#and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy#scopophobia /#scopophobia#eye contact /#eye contact tw
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sailforvalinor · 2 months
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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oakfern · 5 months
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why does consuming content destroy me. i am so bad at this. why can't i just read books and play video games like a normal person
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tearlessrain · 8 months
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I've had anxiety pretty much all my life and having my fears/concerns brushed off is not a new thing for me and sometimes it's justified, but it is uniquely annoying in this case because I keep being right, repeatedly, throughout the pandemic, and people are still acting like I'm just being my panicky self and it's not as big a deal as I'm making it.
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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s0fter-sin · 3 months
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i had an eye test done a few days ago and one of the tests gave me mad vertigo, it only lasted a few minutes but i still have a major headache and nausea and it flares up when i’m scrolling. obviously the answer is to get off my phone but it’s making me think of the march that shall not be named when i couldn’t look at fucking anything and ya girl is getting nervous
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tiredbiostudent · 2 years
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august!
#got a new tent and I’m in love😭#I’m going backpacking next week and I’m SO pumped even if it’s supposed to be thunderstorming the first two days 😩 lol#life update is that I’ve mostly just been trying to organize my life after being gone for work for like 3 months#and I’m practicing driving a lot bc my test is at the end of the month😭 it’s going better than I thought but still stressful#also going to college in the fall and still not sure how to feel about it LMAO#i think I’m just worried I’m not gonna make any friends the entire year and I’m gonna hate it and have the program be a waste of time#I’m sure it’ll be fine?🥴#and I’m STILL contemplating about doing a masters shdhdhdg#bc ok I loved the job I had this summer and would happily do contract field bio jobs for the rest of my life but unfortunately it’s not very#stable and doesn’t pay super well so at some point I’m going to need to get a more formal job which I might need an MSc for :/ we’ll see#the idea of research and /being/ a grad student is so appealing but then I think about the actual work I’d have to do and it’s like um my#i always feel like shit in august and am so yugh because it’s friggen hot and there’s nothing to do and I have definitely been feeling that#(also because I miss work and being up north)#but I just scrolled through my ‘insp’ instagram saved posts and Pinterest board and am acc feeling good today hshdhdgxhd#like you know when you’re just excited about life 🥰✨ hehe#omg sorry for this I guess I just needed to dump my thoughts out onto the ground for everyone#mine
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