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#long tags but relevant to read if you wanna understand better
incarnateirony · 1 year
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the term “mistress” is making my eye twitch. there are no mistresses in polyamorous relationships, and misha and vicki aren’t married anymore so he can, and has clearly been able to in the past, date whoever he wants. most cockles perceivers would want that kind of happiness for misha anyway? jensen has danneel, maybe even others who knows, why should misha be just by himself??
regardless, the leap from potentially good friends to fucking is still pretty flawed, imo. like damn, poetry is literally meant to be self interpreted and resonate with those who connect to it.
claiming you’ve found misha’s secret girlfriend of apparently years based on him liking her poetry and probably knowing her through ra relevant interests (similar social circles and all that) is a tenuous thread at best. they could just be living similar circumstances and that’s why there’s appreciation there from misha?
anyway, ~secret girlfriend~ is a theory for sure. not fact, though. for all we know he sent her some of his poetry to post, much like she might’ve sent that screenshot to someone and they in turn posted it to alma’s stories.
all guesses. ideas. theories. headcanons. 🤷‍♀️ pick whatever one soothes your brain, i guess, because chances are none of us will ever fully be certain.
yeah exactly. but really all this affirms just how broken their supposed intel pipe is. They don't understand what counts as hard data, and what is the information they're filling in with imagination or assumption in the gaps.
Mistress in a poly relationship is. unlikely. Vicki and Misha had a long marriage, that could split for a million reasons. Maybe he got too flighty. Maybe the're just tired and wanted to step back before they hate each other so they can be friendly. Maybe Misha peed the bed one night. We could make a lot of wild theories as to the Why, and they don't seem to realize like. The theory they apply to weak "evidence" (which they didn't inspect closely enough to see the flaws in it as proof).
But yeah. Alma could be a friend. They could have related social rings. Maybe they're fucking. Maybe they're not. As comical as the HAH HAH U THINK UR ITK WHAT THEN U STUPID COCKLES SHIPPER or whatever their crazytrain is like.... cuz I said they were friends. The reason I missed this being discussed over a month ago is I mute the cockles channel from lack of interest, only head in to throw a headless fish to my feral cats, and leave unless I'm tagged. And, as the proof was weak and the resolution was lacking, nobody bothered to tag me, because people know better than to report absolute nonsense to me or I'll punch holes through it like this. Yeah. such a wild cockles shipper I mute the channel and don't read it back if I wander in. Much ship very wow. Also very relevant, obviously, to how tv is made.
[rubs temples]
I just wanna figure out what blender brain logic it takes to go "you didn't stalk some anon poet's account to figure out where they are at all times in coordination with another person that we supposedly hate like we did, we counted his trashcan condoms and you didn't, you're a fake TV leaker!" Like genuinely what the fuck. How does being a peeping tom on someone's kinks help me figure out the plot of episode 11.
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fluff-and-kura · 3 years
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you know you're a tma fan when you start describing your gender using tma terms
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OK so I've started watching 911 cus youre post have peeked my interest. I just wanna know beforehand is this Eddie and bucky thing actually possible or fans wanting it. How hurt am I gonna be that nothings happening 😂
Ah, that makes me so happy, it's such a fantastic show, I hope you're liking it! 💕
(I just did a really long post as a response to this and I accidentally deleted it, now I have to do it again. Dear god, please send soup. And strength.)
ANYWAY.
Regarding Buck and Eddie going canon, there are a lot of different ways to look at this and different ways to see it, but personally? Where I am at, at this point, I just do not see how the story could be heading in any other possible direction. Most days I am 100% sure it's happening, sometimes 99, but it never really goes below that.
(I do want to make sure that you and anyone else new in the fandom does understand, however, that this is not something to be expected soon. Dealing with their trauma as individuals is going to take a lot of time, and just because it's not happening within the next two episodes doesn't mean it's not happening. Give it time, my loves. These writers are absolutely fantastic.)
Now. I understand the need to be hesitant. I do, believe me. Especially as a part of the community, you know? We're used to being let down, disappointed and thrown the scraps (This post by @yramesoruniverse touches on why we feel this way despite having so many signs that point to this storyline and it is something I highly recommend reading, it's fantastic.) I also want to point out that the couples that people tend to compare Buck and Eddie to (aka couples that never went canon) are couples that I don't personally see the relevance in comparing them to. Comparing Buddie to other ships that never went canon just doesn't make sense, because none of those shows were shows like 9-1-1. 9-1-1 focuses on a lot difficult topics. Comparing 9-1-1 to Supernatural, or Suits just doesn't make sense to me. It's irrelevant.
Now. I could sit here for hours pointing out things that may be pointing to them going canon, but at the end of the day, there is way too much, and there are people who have done it already, and done it far better than I ever could (I will be tagging some of my favourite blogs at the end of this, if you want to go and ask them some things, I'm sure they would be more than happy to answer you! Speaking of, though, this post is also absolutely phenomenal, and very interesting to consider.)
There are two more things I'd mention though, the first one being this livestream with Ronen and Oliver around the time of the crossover, where Ronen refers to TK thinking Buck is hitting on him as 'opening a door'.
And the second thing is the fact that Eddie's actor, Ryan Guzman is someone who doesn't really know the art of um... keeping his mouth shut. And he doesn’t always have good opinions, so I also have a feeling that if there was no way that Buck and Eddie is happening, he would have told us to fuck off a long time ago, and he never really has. So there's also that.
In conclusion, before I point you to some other wonderful people, I also would like to say that - at the end of the way, this is fandom, it's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a distraction. So while I absolutely understand people being hesitant and not wanting to be disappointed - my main thing is also the fact that... I'm going to be a lot happier leaning into this, and expecting it, and following along, even if it doesn't happen (which I highly, highly doubt, but if the show does end without Buck and Eddie together, I'll just take the L and move on. But I'll still have the wonderful memories of freaking out with everyone else and anticipating this revolutionary story.) It's a lot more fun than just walking around with a big cloud over my head, being bitter, and rolling my eyes at everyone who dare have a glimmer of hope about it all, you know?
As promised - here are some other wonderful blogs I recommend you take a look at: @yramesoruniverse @himbodiaz @rarakiplin @wildflowerbuck @hattalove @diazchristopher @capseycartwright @roseapothecary @pearwson
There are so many wonderful people in this fandom who write fantastic posts about all of this, so that's absolutely not all of them, but it's a handful to get you started! 💕
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⋆INTRODUCTION⋆
basically my bio but with extra steps. check this out if you wanna get to know about me better!!
includes: about me + the blog, my other blogs, my other socials, my fandoms, Discord server links, preferred “DNI.”
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⋆Welcome to my blog!!⋆
I also have a fanfic blog and a book blog if
either of those interests you!!
You can find the dividers I used in even more
colours here!!
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ABOUT ME
ME - hi, I’m Caspian!! you can also call me Mag, Casp, Cas, or whatever. I’m a 18-year-old aroace trans guy from the UK. if you wanna know a little more than that, click here!!
WHAT I POST - I’m also autistic, which isn’t super relevant to this blog other than the fact that I never stfu about my special interest (OHSHC) online. So if you follow me for a certain thing other than that, just know that there’s a good chance I don’t post about it a whole lot. Still, you’re welcome to talk to me about it!! My DMs are open to those who are around my age. :))
REBLOGS VS MY POSTS - I reblog random things a lot, far more often than I make actual posts. If you’d like unlimited access to Casblr, the majority of my original posts (that is, ones I actually post myself or contribute to rather than just yelling in the tags) can be found under the tag #patto the space phrog. I also have an art tag (#mag’s art)!! and on the topic of tags, I often tag content warnings as #______ ment.
DM BOUNDARIES - As I’ve already mentioned, they’re open to people around my age!! I really like talking to new people (online), so if you want to send a DM my way then go for it — especially if we have any similar interests!! any recommendations for media (shows, books, podcasts etc) you think I may like would also be appreciated.
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MY SOCIALS
(in order of how often I use them!!)
Discord dr2un2hine
TikTok dr2un2hine
Instagram dr2un2hine
Ao3 freaksofnurture
Wattpad thermodynamiclawyer
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MY FANDOM MASTERLIST
*my main fandom is Ouran High School Host Club as it’s my special interest!! it’s not the only fandom I post about here, but it’ll likely be the one that pops up the most.
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discord servers
here are some servers I made!! please make sure to read the rules if you join. :)
꩜ silly little Ouran server (VERY active!!)
★ loserdex fans unite (fully inactive due to lack of loserdex fans, as expected 😞 but if you’d like to come and change that, be my guest!!)
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people I’d prefer not to interact with
★ proshippers/proship supporters (duh)
꩜ people who headcanon Kusuo Saiki (TDLOSK) as anything other than aroace 👍 bc like c’mon..
★ OHSHC beach episode apologists 🤨 (this applies to the people who just straight up think it was a good episode lmao, I can understand what they were trying to do and still not like it)
DISCLAIMER THINGY: if these people do interact with me I don’t really care, that’s their decision and there’s not much I can do to stop it (though I may still block them lmao, because duh). I’m not too worried about who does/does not engage with my silly little Tumblr posts, it’s really not that serious as long as nobody actively tries to cause me harm, but I thought it’d be worth making a little list of people I won’t be following myself if I can help it.
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multimilfs · 3 years
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Farah Dowling x Fem!Reader: Getting You Home
Summary: Anon requested “Hey ummmm, Can u do a farah x reader I haven’t found any and I really really wanna reade one, so if I can thanks”
A/N: Honestly, I was writing this WAY before that was requested, but it fulfills the request sooo... This is obnoxiously long, I’m so sorry skdjhfks, let me go hide. Also, it was so hard to find a gif of Farah, I need some talented giffers to make more :(
Tag List: @ghostsunderstoodmysoul​ @multifandomfix​
Warning(s): None 
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“This isn’t a subject we need to discuss.”
Through the small sound-enhancer, Aisha heard Ms. Dowling’s voice grow tense. Strained with emotion. She didn’t understand what was causing the reaction; she’d only just begun to listen. Usually it felt invasive to listen in, but this felt too interesting to stop.
“Yes, we do. You can’t ignore this forever, Farah.” Silva sighed.
“I’m not ignoring anything. She’s never been relevant to the conversation.”
“She has. We let it slide because you didn’t want to talk about it.” Professor Harvey interjected.
A silence filled the room. The tension was so palpable that Aisha could feel it from her place outside of the office. It nearly made her stop listening, but to her luck, someone broke it just in time.
“I know it’s hard, but she was closer to Rosalind than any of us. She must have said something to you,” Silva prodded gently, “Maybe she left something behind in her files…”
“You don’t think I thought of that years ago?” Ms. Dowling snapped.
“We’re just trying to understand.”
“If you want to understand, perhaps you should visit her grave. Maybe she’ll talk back this time.”
Another uncomfortable silence followed Ms. Dowling’s statement. It left Aisha confused, but she didn’t have time to think about it. She could hear the scraping of chairs as Professor Harvey and Headmaster Silva sighed. They weren’t going to get anywhere with the conversation, so they decided to take their leave before the situation got more tense.
Frantically, the young fairy shoved the sound-enhancer under a cabinet, grabbing a random stack of papers. It wasn’t necessary. The two men barely spared her a glance as they left and Ms. Dowling didn’t leave her office. It left her completely confused and invested; this was something to share with her suite-mates.
----
“Did they drop a name anywhere?”
“No, they just kept referring to ‘her.’ Apparently she was someone close to Rosalind. Very close.” Aisha explained.
“Rosalind was Ms. Dowling’s mentor, who could be closer than that?” Bloom asked, looking around at her friends for ideas.
“Someone who was like a daughter,” Stella said softly, “One of the only things stronger than a mentor bond is a familial one.”
“So… we’re looking for someone who was like a daughter to Rosalind. That’ll be easy.” Bloom said sarcastically.
“It’s better than nothing.” Musa pointed out.
“It’s basically a crumb.”
“Well, then we need to play mouse and follow it. Come on.” Stella had enough of sitting around and waiting. She grabbed a jacket and her phone, before walking out of the room. The rest of the girls saw no other option than to follow.
They snuck through the halls and back to the East wing of Alfea. It felt like they’d gone through all of the information there, but they made an effort to scan it all with new eyes.
Bloom was having an especially difficult time, as she still hadn’t learned enough about Rosalind herself. Now, she was on a mission to find someone who’d known her. She hoped that whoever she was, she could offer her information.
Things grew quiet besides the shuffling of papers and Terra’s occasional humming, when the shuffling grew a bit quieter all of a sudden. Bloom turned to see Stella looking down at a framed picture.
“Stel?” Musa said softly, coming to stand next to her friend.
There in the picture was Silva, Harvey, Dowling, Rosalind, and another face Musa couldn’t recognize. But it looked kinder than all of the others. More gentle.
“That’s… That’s my Aunt.” Stella whispered.
“What?”
“I don’t understand. She can’t be…” Stella’s voice cracked, a rogue tear rolling down her cheek.
“I’m afraid she might be, Stel.” Aisha said, pulling the girl into a side-hug.
“What’s her name?” Bloom asked suddenly.
They were all more focused on comforting Stella, but Bloom had that wild look in her eyes. The one that made them realize she wasn’t going to give this up, not now.
“Y/N Y/L/N, but only after she gave up her title.” Stella said.
Bloom seemed to tear through the files around her, but they yielded barely anything. No information about Rosalind, or what her goals had been. Even less of Y/N, second Princess to the Solarian throne. It was like the memories of them had been wiped.
Letting out a frustrated noise, Bloom felt the papers in her hand burn. The files were no use. She turned, following the hallways out of the East wing.
“Bloom, where are you going?!” Aisha called out behind her.
“To get answers!”
----
Overcome by her anger, Bloom didn’t hesitate before she barged into the headmistresses office. Ms. Dowling looked up at her sharply, her lips pursing.
“Bloom, I don’t have time-”
“Who is Y/N Y/L/N?” Bloom demanded.
Any color that had been there drained from Farah’s face. She looked almost like a ghost, compared to the strong woman Bloom knew. A pang of regret hit her. But then the headmistress seemed to recover from her emotion.
“Nobody you need to concern yourself with.” Farah said harshly.
“She is if she knew Rosalind. Maybe she knew why-”
“Y/N was dead before Rosalind would’ve left you in the Other realm.”
Bloom felt like the air had left her lungs. She’d been poking carelessly around the memory of a dead woman. Specifically one who’d been gone before her situation. She felt horrible about it, but she also felt at a complete loss for words.
“If she had known about you… about what Rosalind was doing, she wouldn’t have let her abandon you. She probably would have insisted on caring for you herself, stubborn woman,” Farah laughed, though it was full of sadness, “But Rosalind killed her, Bloom. Do you see why that is a woman you should be glad to not know?”
“I guess.” Bloom whispered.
“You and I will learn of your background together, but I need you to have patience. I can’t find answers if I’m having to manage you.”
“Right… I’m really sorry, Ms. Dowling.”
“I know.”
As the fire fairy left her office, Farah put her head in her hands. It had been so long since anyone had spoken of you. Though she thought about you everyday. The sudden change was almost enough to make her head spin.
Farah wasn’t herself for years after losing you. Too often was she reminded of you and her resolve would crumble. Harvey had acted as interim headmaster for a year while she grieved. The moment of weakness wasn’t something she was proud of. She’d taken up a strong mantle as headmistress, projecting anything less was an abandonment of her post.
It was still difficult to think about you, but she could never push your memory away completely. Things you would say, how you’d handle a situation, they all ran through her mind. Sometimes she swore that she could hear your voice in her ear, steering her right. Calm and level-headed even in the worst moments.
Opening her desk drawer, she pulled out a small photo. The edges well-worn from the dozens of times she’d held it.
There, looking up at her, was your smiling face. She was there as well, focused on you with a subtle smile. You were holding up your hand and pointing to the new ring there. She couldn’t remember a time where you’d been more happy than that day. It made her heart ache.
She knew that it was important to find answers without Rosalind. For Bloom. For you.
----
“Well? Did you get anything?” Stella demanded, seeing Bloom enter the suite.
But Bloom didn’t respond. She sat down on the couch, as if in a trance. Sad and angry tears in her eyes, waiting to be spilled down her cheeks. The rest of the fairies gathered around worriedly.
“Bloom… Did Stella’s aunt know anything about why you were left in the other realm?” Aisha asked quietly, sitting down next to the fire fairy.
“No, um, Rosalind… Rosalind killed her before she left me there,” Bloom said, voice shaking as she wiped falling tears off of her cheeks. She couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh, “Ms. Dowling said that if she’d known she probably would have, um, taken me in.”
Silence followed as Bloom cried bitterly into her hands, Aisha pulling her into a strong hug. Musa winced at the pain radiating off of her friend.
“I could have been raised here and maybe found my birth parents, but now I’ll never know.” Bloom whispered.
While all of the other girls gathered around Bloom, Stella stayed against the frame to her room. Something was bothering her. She was just having trouble figuring out what it was.
“Bloom, when were you left in the other realm?” Stella asked.
“Um, sometime in December. Of 2004.”
The blonde’s eyebrows furrowed frustratedly, before it came to her. Then her eyes widened.
“Something doesn’t make sense.” Stella said out loud.
“What are you talking about, Stel?”
“My Aunt was there on my third birthday. It’s the only real memory I have of her.”
They looked at one another, shock on their faces. Bloom’s eyes sparkled with hope. Maybe finding answers wasn’t completely a loss, maybe you’d known something all along.
“Then maybe she’s…” Terra started.
“Alive.” Stella and Bloom said in unison.
Their eyes met, both of them knowing exactly what to do. But first, they had to convince Ms. Dowling.
----
“I thought we settled this matter, Bloom, I really don’t have the time or patience for this.” Farah sighed without looking up from her work, only one fairy was bold enough to barge into her office.
“Is there a chance she could be alive?” Bloom asked, ignoring the headmistress’ words.
Farah could feel her interest being piqued, but didn’t give it much thought. She’d been there. There was no way that you were alive, not now. Certainly not without her knowing.
“I would know if she was alive. So no, there is no chance.”
“Think about it, Ms. Dowling,” Stella jumped in, “Did you ever bury her?”
She tried to dampen the way her heart lurched. The news of losing you had left her frail emotionally. Harvey and Silva had agreed to make arrangements and she’d never asked for the details, she’d never felt strong enough to hear them.
Taking in a deep breath, she focused her eyes on all of the girls. She couldn’t handle this situation alone. Not if it was heading in the direction she thought.  
“Sit down, girls.”
----
It had taken several hours and many arguments, but they had finally agreed on a plan; Farah would lower the barrier to her underground tunnels, allowing Bloom to speak with Rosalind. Nobody was completely confident in the plan, but they agreed it was likely the best possible scenario. If Farah or someone else went, Rosalind wouldn’t open up. She wanted to speak with Bloom.
That is exactly who they’d give her.
The group trudged quietly through the tunnels, Stella conveniently lighting the way. Bloom was practically vibrating with anticipation. The only thing keeping her with the group was Aisha’s grip on her hand.
Arriving at the small alcove to Rosalind’s area, they all stopped. Farah came to stand directly in front of the young fire fairy.
“You know what to do?” Farah asked.
“Get in, poke around about who I am, ask the questions, get out.” Bloom repeated back with an eye roll.
On a normal day, Farah would have been quick to reprimand Bloom for her actions. She didn’t have it in her today. Right now it was about getting answers, not respect.
“We’ll be ready at a moment's notice, should you need us for anything.” Silva spoke up.
He was standing quietly behind the group of fairies, watching the interaction happen. It wasn’t difficult to read the unease in Bloom’s face; the way her eyes darted around, how she kept rocking from one foot to the other. He’d trained dozens of anxious soldiers to know.
“And we mean anything.” Farah added, giving Silva an appreciative look.
“I get it, but I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing.”
Farah wanted to argue that no, you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, but refrained. They didn’t have the time. It was important that they accomplish this before dinner, so nobody wondered as to where they’d been.
Bloom turned and walked up the small set of stairs, out of sight, but finally laying her eyes on Rosalind and the barrier trapping her. The woman’s eyes opened and she wanted to step back, but didn’t.
“Bloom…” Rosalind’s voice echoed in her mind.
“Rosalind?”
“I knew you’d find your way here.”
“I didn’t think I would. You couldn’t have left some instructions on where to find you?”
“Your mind is not as safe as you’d believe. But it will be, in time.” Rosalind said, eyes almost unblinking.
“It could already be, if you’d kept me here. Why… Why did you send me away?”
For a moment, Bloom nearly felt her resolve slip. She knew the plan, but she also had her own. There were answers she needed.
“It wasn’t safe here.”
“You couldn’t have left me with, I don’t know, my parents? My biological ones? Or my mother, at least. She could have kept me safe in the castle. I could have learned and been protected the whole time.” Bloom said. Calling on all of the pain and anguish she felt, she brought tears to her own eyes.
“Bloom, what are you saying?” Rosalind’s face scrunched up ever-so-slightly inside the barrier. For the first time in a long time, she felt she was truly missing something.
“My mother. She was in Solaria the whole time and you took me from her! I could have grown up with her and learned magic with Stella, under my aunt Luna. It all could’ve been perfect.”
The fire fairy’s voice broke on the end of the sentence, closing her eyes against the emotions she was feeling. She was trying not to say too much or over-do anything.
“You think that your mother was the princess of Solaria?”
Rosalind’s laugh echoed in her ears, grating on her nerves. It may have been an act, but her anger at the other fairy wasn’t. She’d been abandoned and lied to for too long.
“I know she is. She told me herself, which is something you couldn’t have bothered with!” She snapped.
“That’s impossible, you silly girl. The only way Y/N could do anything is if Luna-“
Bloom couldn’t help the triumphant grin that spread across her face. Rosalind’s eyes widened just enough for Bloom to feel satisfied. She’d tricked a mind fairy, arguably the best to come from Alfea. And it felt good.
“So she’s been in the Solarian castle this whole time,” Bloom states, crossing her arms over her chest, “Thank you so much for that bit of information.”
“You little-“
“Little what? Whatever you call me, you still have to admit that I beat you. Anyway, thanks for your help. I won’t be needing anything more from you.”
Bloom turned to leave, ignoring the protests in her mind from Rosalind. The cruel comments and unhinged promises. It all faded out as she walked away, coming face-to-face with her friends.
“Well?” Farah asked, raising an eyebrow.
“She’s somewhere in the Solarian castle. Queen Luna apparently has her there. That’s all I could get before she realized what was happening.” Bloom said with a shrug, stuffing her hands in her pockets.
Farah took a step back, looking with wide eyes to Silva. He looked just as surprised as she did. It wasn’t everyday that you found out someone you cared for had never died at all.
“How do we get to her?” Professor Harvey asked, looking between his two friends.
The unfortunate thing was she had no idea.
“I can do it.”
They all looked to Stella, who was attempting to look confident in her decision. It wasn’t working very well.
“I won’t ask that of you.” Farah said.
“You’re not. I’m offering. She means something to me too, and I’m the only one who could get around the castle without suspicion.”
Despite their desires, they knew Stella was right. She’d be the only one who could get to you. It didn’t matter what they all wanted, they had to focus on logic first.
“Alright, then. What’s the plan?”
——
It was relatively simple. Spring holiday had only been a few days away. Instead of the girls going home, Queen Luna allowed them to visit the castle with Stella. Just this once.
They agreed not to go searching on the first night. It’d seem too eager and they’d probably cue someone in on accident. The second night was better.
So once Queen Luna had seemingly gone to bed, the fairies left Stella’s room to ‘explore’ the castle. Through the winding hallways and up the ornate staircases, they managed to avoid contact with anyone else. Until they reached the door separating the West wing from the rest of the castle.
Two guards stood inside of the door, in front of a bedroom. Stella couldn’t see inside, but she knew without a doubt you were there. Nobody was allowed in the West wing.
“Alright, I’ll go in and talk to the guards. You hide until I give the signal, alright?” Stella whispered.
“Stel, what if you can’t hold the illusion for long enough?” Terra asked, looking worriedly to her friend.
“Don’t worry. I’ve been practicing. Now go, hide.”
Smoothing down her skirts and straightening her shoulders, Stella walked through the door. The guards on the other side froze upon seeing her.
“Your highness, you’re not meant to be in this part of the castle.”
“It’s quite alright, Damian. My mother knows I’m here to see her.” Stella said confidently.
After putting on an act in school for so long, it was a breeze when it came to the guards. Though for a moment she worried they would try to confirm with her mother. Then their shoulders relaxed, sending her worry away.
“Of course, your highness. Go in.” Damian bowed and opened the door.
Letting out a slow breath, Stella stepped into the room. It was large, but it felt almost clinical. Everything was perfectly neat and tidy, except for the desk space. On it were spreads of books and notebooks with words written in scraggly cursive.
Just in front of the window was a chair. The large back and arms nearly hid you completely, but she could make out the top of your head.  
Stella suddenly felt lost for words. She’d heard countless stories of you, had brief memories from when she was a child. This was completely different. How did she introduce herself? Or even explain why she was here?
“You know, it’s quite rude to stare.”
She froze as you turned around, a teasing grin on your face. But then you looked confused. You didn’t recognize her.
“I’m sorry, I meant to say something…. I just lost my words.” Stella said quietly.
“And who might you be? You’re certainly not my usual guard.” You asked.
You stood up slowly, a wince on your face for the briefest moments. Then you gave Stella a kind smile.
She couldn’t help but notice your arms; bare from the elbow down, with painful cork-screw shaped pieces of metal digging into your skin. From them your veins were dark against your skin, black and unnatural.
“You’re injured.” Stella said, looking around for something to help you.
“Shackled, but the injuries come with it.” You sighed.
“Those are meant to do that?”
“They’re meant to be a short-term option. So not really, no, but Luna didn’t have another option.”
“She did this to you?”
“Dear, who else do you think had the power to?” You asked, looking confused, “You never told me who you were.”
Overcome with an unusual shyness, she attempted a smile. It probably looked more painful than it should have, but it was the least of her worries.
“I’m Stella, auntie.” She admitted.
Your eyebrows almost raised to your hairline as you looked Stella over. The last time you’d seen one another, Stella was a three year old with long, blonde pigtails. It felt like there was no way it was really her. But you could see it was, in the way she smiled timidly and wrung her hands together.
“My Stella? Well… you sure have changed.” You breathed out.
“It’s crazy what 14 years will do.” She joked.
You couldn’t help but laugh. She was absolutely right. 14 years did a lot to people, especially you. Now that you knew who she was, you attempted to pull your sleeves over the tools binding your magic.
“Why are you here?” You asked.
“Oh! I’m here to break you out, actually.”
“Break me out?”
“That’s what I said. I brought some friends to help, too, they’re just waiting for me to signal them.”
“Stella…. I don’t think that is such a good idea. Your mother would be furious.” You said, gently lowering yourself onto the stool by your desk.
“Don’t you want to leave? To get out of here?” She asked.
“Of course I do! More than anything… but not if it risks you getting hurt. I’ve lived a nice life. You won’t get the same thing if you anger your mother.”
A feeling of guilt rested in your heart as you remembered the life you had; how Rosalind, and subsequently Luna, had cut it all short. You ached for everything you once had. A sprawling life at Alfea, your fianceé, classes full of students to teach. All of it was lost in an instant. Taken away by the woman you’d seen as a mother to you.
You wanted to return to that life more than you’d ever wanted something. But you knew your disappearance would lead to a harsh punishment for Stella. The hurt Luna could inflict was something you’d never wish on her.
“She’s already ruined my life, Aunt Y/N. Please just let me do this one thing for you.”
The vulnerable, open anguish on Stella’s face put the severity of everything into context. In a castle full of people, it was likely that you were the only one willing to stand up to Luna. And she’d subsequently stifled your magic and thrown you into a room. Nobody had been there to protect Stella.
“Alright, but I need to get out of these cuffs,” You said, referring to your arms, “It’s going to take a lot of concentrated magic.”
“Let me get my friends.” Stella said.
You nodded, watching as she rushed to the door, before slipping through it. Absentmindedly, you wondered how she was going to sneak her friends into the room. Then she came back, seemingly alone, until she let the magic drop. Four other fairies stood with her; examining you and the room closely, with open interest.
“How much magic do you need?” Stella asked, stepping forward.
“A lot, but don’t strain yourselves. If you can’t get them off, we’ll find another way.” You said with a reassuring smile.
The girls all looked determined, but you didn’t want to create an issue. Draining your magic could be deadly. And for first-years who had little practice with large magical events, it would be all too easy for such a thing to happen.
“All you have to do is focus your magic on them.”
Looking to one another, then to you, they nodded. Then they each placed a hand on the shackles and closed their eyes. Usually it was a witches’ eyes that signalled the use of their magic, but now it was their hands; glowing various colors as they focused.
The inky blackness that had flooded your veins was receding slowly, until the shackles popped; falling to the floor with a hollow clang. For the first time in 14 years, your senses were overwhelmed. You could finally feel that faint hum of magic in your blood again. Color returned to your cheeks as you smiled.
“Thank you, girls. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’ve come,” You said honestly, “Now, what’s the plan?”
“We’re supposed to plant an illusion box near the door, so the guards won’t know you're missing yet. Then we can get you off of the castle grounds. Someone is waiting there to take you back to Alfea.” Bloom explained.
“I can hold my manipulation long enough to get us all out by the gates. So we don’t have to worry about being seen.” Stella added.
“That’s a lot of magic, Stel.”
“I can manage it, I’ve been practicing.”
Though you worried, you weren’t going to waste time arguing. The more time you spent standing around, the more time you were losing to get away. It was now or never.
----
“Will you be okay?” You asked Stella.
Of course you were excited to cross the barrier, to be free again. The vehicle waiting to take you to Alfea made your heart leap. You’d dreamt for years of leaving, now it was finally real. But you didn’t want anyone to take the fall for your escape.
“She likely won’t realize until we go back to Alfea.” Stella said with a shrug.
Overcome with a burst of emotion, you pulled Stella into a tight hug. You pulled the other girls into it as well. Staying there for a long moment, you wished that it was easier to express how grateful you were to these girls.
You pulled away, giving them all a watery smile. Then you turned, walking through the barrier slowly. And you didn’t look back; too focused on the vehicles sitting right in front of you. The dark color so obtrusive and bold, like a stain against the bright foliage. Out of place, and yet, comforting.
One of the dark doors opened, the hollow noise sending a jolt up your spine. A familiar face stepped out and sent another wave of emotion through you. Longing, completely and wholly shooting through your heart. An emotion you’d hidden from even yourself.
“Farah?” You called out, voice full of disbelief.
“Y/N… Oh, Y/N…”
Farah moved towards you, enveloping you in her arms. It almost didn’t feel real; like she was a mirage in the drought that’d become your life. But she was.
She was skin and bone and warmth. Her strong arms made you feel safe, grounded to the earth like you’d only been wandering before. You could feel the hum of her magic too. Strong tears threatened to fall as you buried your face in her neck.
“Farah...” You whispered, like the same way you’d whisper a prayer or blessing; the reverence dripping from your lips.
You dug your nails into her clothing, holding her as close as she could get. For just a moment, the reality of the last 14 years vanished, leaving only the two of you. Only you and your fianceé locked in a powerful embrace.
She pulled away reluctantly to cup your face in her palms. The warmth there soothed you. Closing your eyes, you leaned into her touch.
“Darling, you’re shaking.” Farah whispered, worry evident in her tone, “Come. Let’s get you back to Alfea.”
Absentmindedly, you noticed your friends were in the front seat, but you didn’t give them much beyond a wave. Exhaustion was creeping in slowly. The brightness behind your eyes was turning into something else; an alluring nothingness. And leaning your head onto Farah’s shoulder, you let yourself succumb to it.
----
“How are you feeling?”
Squinting through your eyelashes, you could see the subtle frown on her features. The worry lines on her forehead. It made you smile and release a huff of amusement. For so long, you’d been the one to worry about her. Oh how the tables had turned.
“I’d feel better if you’d lay here with me.” You said softly.
Farah sat on the edge of the bed with a small eye roll. You noticed that she was wearing her nice clothing, which meant it wasn’t as early as you’d thought.
“I’ll lay with you for five minutes, then I have a meeting.” She conceded.
The worry lines on her face eased as you gave her a blinding smile. While you’d been asleep, a million scenarios had run through her head. It’d overridden her rational thought. The concerns plagued her until now, when she saw that you were doing better than expected.
She stretched out beside you, smoothing a piece of hair behind your ear. You leaned into the gesture without thinking. The comfort she brought you, simply by being near, was enough to sustain you for ages.
Lulled by her soft breathing and the gentle kisses she pressed to your skin, your eyes slipped closed. Sending you back into a deep sleep.
----
As it does, Alfea moved forward without issue. You fell back into your old duties with a renewed sense of purpose. It was almost like before; the lunches with Farah, Saul, and Harvey, the challenges a school full of students presented. Except for one distinct difference; Farah handled you like you were made of glass.
What made it even worse, was that she refused to discuss what’d happened. She didn’t want to think about all the time you’d been separated. Or the horrible way you’d been kept there. She thought ignoring it would make all the pain leave.
But you knew things would never heal unless you faced them with her. Farah was strong, but she could never hurt someone she cared for.
“Farah, can I have a moment?” You said softly one evening, as the headmistress was writing something in warm lighting.
“I don’t know if I can, darling. These need to be filed tomorrow morning and I’m behind.” She answered without looking up.
Crossing the room, you gently pried the pen from her hand. When she only grabbed another one, you used your magic to hide the papers. Then she finally looked up at you with a scowl.
“It’s important.” You said.
“So important it can’t wait?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It already has - since we returned from Solaria.”
Uncertainty bloomed on her face as she looked away from you, anxiously spinning the engagement ring on her finger. You drew in a deep breath. In the face of her uncertainty, you needed to be strong.
“We can’t ignore what happened, Farah. Nor do I want to. I suffered, yes, but I’m still me. You can’t keep looking at me like a victim first, person second.” You said, placing your hand on top of hers.
“It isn’t my intention to… see you like that. But I’m reminded of how much time passed, how I failed to-”
“None of that. You thought I was dead. If you had known I was alive, you would have come for me. Which you did. You have never failed me, Farah Dowling, so don’t act like you have.”
There was a beat of silence. Long and repressive, nearly causing you to falter in your words. But you summoned the confidence Farah had taught you long ago. This was not something you would yield on.
“How can I make this right?” She asked, looking curiously into your eyes.
“Treating me like a normal person would be a nice start,” You smiled, “I’m not suddenly breakable, though there will be moments when I need extra support. We can just… take it one moment at a time.”
“One moment at a time.” She agreed.
You leant forward and stole a kiss, making her smirk. Then, with a wave of your hand, her papers reappeared. She let out a soft laugh.
As you disappeared into your shared bedroom, things felt a little easier. You felt almost like you had before the events. All thanks to a few cunning fairies and their gorgeous headmistress.
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reallybadfeeling · 3 years
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My Obikin Playlist Masterpost
I'm gonna try to explain my reasoning, but you can give each song whatever interpretation you want. Also, use them however you want if any of them inspire you to make something creative.
(PS: Sorry for my ranting on the first song. I'm very passionate about it in particular.) (Tagging @imtryingsstuff because she asked for it. Even though I was already working on this post before she asked. I have way too much free time.)
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❧ Heart + Bones - Roisin O
I've tried to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times But I was always too scare of what I might find But if I keep on blocking this pain out It might be too late To heal my heart somehow Don't wanna open that wound Don't wanna replay that night Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know that love is gone 'Cause if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind It's the heart and bones It's an empty soul The dreams at night that shake me to my core And I can't get up off this floor It's in the bones of me An empty soul in me The dreams at night that shake me to my core I can't get off this floor [...] Don't wanna think about you When you're no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone [...] The dreams at night that shake me to my core I just can't take this hurting anymore [...] Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone 'Cause if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all I've tries to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times
A fair warning: each and every break-up song in this playlist is basically me crying at the idea of a very heart broken Obi-Wan post RotS alone on Tatooine. But for this song in particolar I mention the repetitions with the slight differences because in my eyes they are actually HUGE! The more the song goes on, the more Obi-Wan is spiraling! The way it specifically tells that the empty soul is his the second time, like he accepts that despite what Anakin did he still thinks there's a soul there to save, and the idea of not doing so makes his soul feel empty. And the switch from "get up off this floor" to "get off this floor", literally him being so desperate he stops thinking that he wants to get up (and the last time it literally becomes "i just can't take this hurting anymore", because Obi-Wan had to see so many people he loves die, he literally can't take any more breaking of his heart). The first "you are no longer mine" is the realization hitting him, but then it becomes "when you are no longer mine" and that feels like acceptance of that realization (but then later in the song it turns back to "you are no longer mine" like he's so desperate he wants to deny it once again, distance himself from it)! The switch from "that love" from "this love", like the first time he's thinking about how Anakin no longer loves him, but then realizes that no matter how much he still loves Anakin, there is actually nothing he can do about how everything is broken. But most of all the first time it's "if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind", which is Obi-Wan still being rational about things, or at least trying not to let his mind linger on the thought of Anakin; but then at the end it becomes "if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all", because he's already thinking about Anakin and he can't let his mind linger on it, otherwise he would realize how much he lost when he lost Anakin, which is everything. And the ending too, by repeating the start, but now it has a feeling of resignation to it, like at first he was literally scared to let himself linger on his feelings because he knew he would find heart break, but now he's just empty and at the same times he knows he'll feel like that a thousand times more, because he just can't let that hurt go, he can't let his love for Anakin be forgotten. ... I love this song and it shows. I mean, the playlist is literally named after it for a good reason. I swear I'll be less wordy for every other explanation.
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❧ Black Hole - Griff
It seems like things are going really well for you I wish that I could say the same about me too I wish that I could say the same [...] Without a trace You disappeared and took some of me with you, babe Like the way I used to laugh untile my belly ached Well, that's all gone away now And boy, you know I've tried to pray, I've bruised my knees I've tried to bring you back to me I've tried my best to find some kind of peace Don't you see? There's a big black hole where my heart used to be And I've tried my best to fill it up with things I don't need It don't work like that, no, it's not easy To fill this gap that you left in me
So, I see this as a song for an AU, maybe a Modern Au. Something basic like the two of them maybe being neighbors and Obi-Wan maybe being a tutor for Anakin when he was a teen, and Anakin having a huge crush on him. But then Obi-Wan marries and Anakin is heart broken. (Don't worry the idea is also that Obi-Wan gets a divorce and comes back to Anakin, but still, the song fits for the first part of this idea). But feel free to see whatever else you want in it.
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❧ Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips
I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bride To make you well, to make you well When enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from war [...] Give me reasons to believe That you would do the same for me And I will do it for you, for you Baby, I'm not moving on I'll love you long after you're gone
This is honestly a classic. It would fit with any ship, but that line about lying, cheating, etc... That screams Anakin. Like, literally canon that he would do anything to keep the person he loves with him.
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❧ What You Talking About? - Peter Bjorn and John
You used to be my hero Now you're just another boss [...] Five years as your understudy When I can't understand what you talking about [...] Tell me lies and I will listen Tell the truth and I'll be gone Tell me why I need permission [...] Shining in your shadow How could I sink this low? Our acquaintance has been so-so And I can't understand where my patience's gone
These lyrics just give me very frustrated Anakin as a Padawan trying to navigate his relationship with Obi-Wan. Not very romantic or shippy, but still relevant in my opinion.
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❧ Bruci la città - Irene Grandi
(Let) The city burn down or live in fear (that) within two hours everything will disappear anything else will disappear [...] I can't stop (myself) from screaming That I hold you to my heart To protect you from evil That I wish I could soothe Your pain, your pain [...] (Let) The stars explode (Let) The whole thing explode (Let) Everything other than the two of us die At least for a little bit At least as a mistake [...] I want to get my act together Maybe be better And shield you with my heart From catastrophe and fear
Don't really know why, but this makes me think of a quiet moment in the middle of the Clone Wars, just Anakin and Obi-Wan alone in a tent, hoping to have a moment of peace in each other's arms. (If you want the full lyrics translated let me know, I just picked my favorite parts)
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❧ Atlantis - Seafret
We got here the hard way All those words that we exchange Is it any wonder things get dark? 'Cause it's in my heart, it's in my head I never take back the things I said [...] I can't save us My Atlantis, we fall We've built this town on shaky ground [...] Now all the birds have fled The hurt just leaves me scared Losing everything I've ever known It's all become too much Maybe I'm not built for love If I knew that I could reach you, I would go
SO MUCH OBI-WAN ANGST POST-ROTS! Like, the birds that have fled are the Jedi that survived Order 66, the things impossible to take back a reference to the entire conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan during their duel... And the one thing that always breaks me: "maybe I'm not built for love", which makes me think about that "infinte sadness" thing that comes from one of the novels. *chef kiss*
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❧ No Time To Die - Billie Eilish
I should have known I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe We were a pair [...] You were my life, but like is far away from fair Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That I'd fallen for a lie You were never on my side [...] I let it burn You're no longer my concern Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn
Don't know about you, but this always makes me think of a lonely and bitter Obi-Wan after RotS. There's also another way of reading this honestly. This could absolutely be Anakin spiraling at the end of RotS, convinced that Padmé doesn't love him anymore; and then Vader facing Luke (the face from the past returning) and realizing the one who always lied to him was Palpatine.
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❧ White Flag - Dido
I know I left too much mess and Destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on
There's no doubt that this song has been overused. And it is a very classic meme, so sometimes it's hard to take it seriously. But I still love it. And I can't help but relate this to something with Vader trying to redeem himself but failing at that too, and his and Obi-Wan's relationship still being broken as fuck.
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❧ Fight the End - The playground
When it's all falling apart I'll be the one who can hold you Console you When everything's getting dark And you can't find the spark To get through I'll fight for you till the end Whatever's broken I'll mend For you If you think it's all gone Just breathe in and hold on Till the end of time
Once again, just some H/C during the Clone Wars kind vibes, but also good for an apocalypse AU of some kind.
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❧ Hanging On A Lie - Striking Matches
I'm not mentioning a specific part of this song, because the entire thing in my head is just the whole journey of Anakin turning to the Dark Side and then turning back to the Light right before he died. Seriously, up until the first chorus, it's just Anakin talking about what he feels like about Padmé's supposed betrayal. ("Baby you've been up to something / don't you tell me it's not what it looks like" but also "I might have been naive but I'm not blind" and "Don't you know you should know better than this / Than to cover up the truth with your poisonous lips/I'm not falling for it this time"). The second half of the song is Vader facing Luke. ("I'll be the one who got away from you when you / finally figure it out / you won't find me"). And the last part is Vader realizing all the lies Palpatine told him all alon. ("I'm not fallin' for it this time/try and try too little too late" and again the "you should know better than this/than to cover up the truth with you poisonous lips") A bit of a weird interpretation, that's for sure. But look at me making a song about cheating all about Anakin's journey!
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❧ Bloodsport '15 - Raleigh Ritchie
Your love is worth it and for that I will wait And though you hate me when you have a turn I drive you crazy, but you always return [...] Although you love me, sometimes we're mean Things can get ugly, but we're still a team We are an army that breaks from withing but That's why we're stronger and that's how we'll win [...] I've got your back, and though it's stacked against us I've got your hand, it's us against consensus And I will burn the people who hurt you the worst and I will no learn Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms of breaking the law And I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And they're done, now it's curtains, the bloodlust's a clusterfuck, it hurts but it's working And even if you ask me to stop, it's too late because I've already decided their fate It's not a distaste, it's pure hate and it pulsates and it works its way around my brain Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I'll protect you till the day I meet my maker So don't fight me now cause you might need me later Loving you is a bloodsport Fighting in a love war It's not what I'm in love for, I'm yours I don't know if you can help it, maybe I'm just being selfish
Soooo, basically Anakin doing to Obi-Wan what he did to Padmé: loving him so much he thinks he has to turn to the Dark Side to save him. The first part I can almost imagine said by Obi-Wan, actually. Like, he's aware that sometimes Anakin hates their dynamics, but also that they are both in love... Which just ends with total madness.
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❧ Sweet Love of Mine - Joy Williams
I was broken, I was blind Lost in a moment I thought I left behind Then you woke up this dark soul of mine Carrying a light I thought I'd never find When you found me, I was all alone The whole world around me, but nowhere to call home I heard your voice sing like heaven's choir Gathered up my fears and threw them in the fire
I'm well aware this song is about pregnancy and how the singer found herself in the experience of becoming a mother. BUT, hear me out: what about an AU with either one of them being a Sith and the other one is still a Jedi. Instead of fighting each other, the Jedi tries to save the Sith, because they realize that the Sith actually never had a chance to be anything else since they grew up with a Sith as their "parent" and Master. But if we still want to keep the pregnancy element, fuck it! It's perfect for an Omegaverse AU, with Anakin maybe about to fall when he finds out he's pregnant and that is how Obi-Wan and their unborn child save Anakin. (Is this very specific? Yes. Do I care? Nope, and that's why this song made it into the playlist.)
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❧ Senza fare sul serio - Malika Ayane
There's a post on my blog already about why this song makes me think about the Jedi Order in general. I know I should probably keep it in a different playlist. Alas, it's still here. Have a link to my previous post if you are interested on reading a complete translation and the explanation of my reasoning. HERE!
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❧ Conversations in the Dark - John Legend
I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart [...] And we, we got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you
It's just such a lovely love song, I couldn't help myself. This seriously gives me sappy Obi-Wan vibes in any way, shape or form.
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❧ If You Ever Leave, I'm Coming With You - The Wombats
You know I'll do Whatever you want me to [...] Take you out of this You reluctant optimist And if you ever leave, I'm coming with you Stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe If you ever leave, I'm coming with you [...] Am I losing you in the dark baby? No more breaking stuff No more acting up Filling your head with doubt
A song about the obsessive kind of love that hints of a way too dependent relationship? Something that mentions losing themselves in the dark? Of fucking course I relate this to Anakin and the way he loves people!
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❧ Transplant - Sea Girls
You're breaking all the promises tonight I'm always dancing by myself as the music plays I'm always one step behind, off-beat, out of place Now I'm looking for you, you're looking away [...] Your heart changed Mine stayed the same I don't recognize your voice when you're saying my name Your heart changed And mine beats the same way [...] Wish I could be back in the moment We were shining, we were making mistakes 'Til your heart changed Mine stayed the same
Have I mentioned that I have a lot of RotS feels? Yeah, so, in my head the "dancing" works like an analogy to fighting and the "music" is literally the sound of battle. Which is why this fits perfectly as far as I'm concerned. An even the "always one step behind" part is just Obi-Wan not realizing Anakin was slowly turning to the Dark Side. But it can be related also to how Anakin basically felt like he didn't truly belong with the Jedi.
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❧ Read my Mind - JONES
Can't control my thoughts But I'm trying every day [...] But sometimes I want impossible things When you hear my voice, what does it say? Need a language, we're lost in translation From impossible thoughts and feelings Why don't you know before I know? What I need to say, before I can How come you don't have the answer Before I asked you the question? Wish you could read my mind [...] It's been a long time since we've been together In the same world, just want you to look at me Like I was everything you ever wanted again [...] Just hold me like I'm everything you wanted again
A good song of the two people pining will always make me think of those two dorks. And their feeling are definitely lost in translation even in canon, with Anakin never realizing how much Obi-Wan actually cares for him because of Palpatine's manipulations.
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❧ So Much It Hurts - Niki & The Dove
Oh, I ask you where you've been 'Cause you always come home late nowadays What a fool was I to think we were safe From the thieves in the temple [...] Oh, won't you bring it back? After all that we've been through together Is it now you gonna throw it all away? Oh, a love like ours Tell me, was it worth it? Oh, the thieves in the temple Oh, but you said that For better for worse You would always be there for me Always be there for me Always be there for me like I'll always be there for you Good times and bad times
So this screams Padmé being cheated on. Like, Anakin still married to her, yet he is always sneaking away after they spend time together to be in the Temple with Obi-Wan. Like, Obi-Wan is literally the thief in the Temple that steals Anakin away from her. (Which I'm sure is actually a metaphor for how the couples' marriage is the temple and someone is disrespecting it by taking away the other's lover. But look at me making this literal, 'cause why not!).
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❧ Power & Control - Marina
Give a little, get a lot That's just how you are with love [...] Think you're funny, think you're smart Think you're gonna break my heart Think you're funny, think you're smart Yeah, you may be good looking But you're not a piece of art [...] Power and control I'm gonna make you fall I'm gonna make you fall We give and take a little more 'Cause all my life I've been controlled You can't have peace without a war
Another song for an AU, this time one with both of them being Sith, most likely being enemies too at first. Before they decide to work together against Anakin's Master.
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❧ No Hero - Elisa
Don't you shut your eyes And hide you heart behind a shadow 'Cause you can count on me As long as I can breathe [...] I've fallen from grace Yeah, I'm much less a saint than a sinner Oh, no I ain't no superhuman 'Cause that's just in the movies, I know But I'll carry you throught the night Through the storm Give you love, always love in return I can't jump over buildings I'm no hero But love can do miracles I can't outrun a bullet 'Cause I'm no hero But I would take one for you [...] 'Cause I'm no hero But I'd spill my blood for you If you need me to I'll be there
Another song from an Italian artist, but this one is in English! And I totally see this song for a scenario where one of the two isn't a Jedi or even for a Modern AU. But it can totally work for Canon compliant too because Anakin is the one every calls hero with no fear. It fits then if Obi-Wan tells Anakin that he doesn't feel like a hero, but he would do anything for Anakin.
☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧
SOOOO, this post is getting way to long (like, it was way too long even just with the first song). And I made it to an even 20 songs. I feel like this a nice place to stop for now. Don't worry, these are just the first 20. I have more in my private playlist, but I want to make another post like this when I add them to the public one. Because I can. And that's what I'm gonna do.
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floralkittygambler · 3 years
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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]
This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.
Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).
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[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).
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/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~
Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.
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Heyyy I really like your blog. I find it very useful and resourceful and it’s one of the blogs I look forward to reading whenever I’m here on this app.
I have a question. So I have depression and I notice that I hardly eat. I eat like once or twice a day and there very small light meals (if they can be even called meals). I was wondering if my lack of appetite can somehow affect me in the long term? I usually don’t feel physical hunger , or if I do, I don’t wanna eat cuz I don’t feel hungry. Also are there any simple snacks or meals that I could do that could help me with this? Or at least help me get the most nutrients when I am able to make a meal?
I’d appreciate the help, thank you. I understand you’re not a professional but I was asking from someone who may have an inkling of this ya know?
thank you, hon! 
well, you can easily become malnourished and vitamin deficient if you’re not eating enough. if you’re not getting enough calories and protein, you’re going to be even more tired than the depression already has you. if you don’t get enough vitamins and minerals, that could negatively affect your bones, your heart, your brain, basically everything. i don’t mean to scare you or anything, but yes, not eating enough can definitely cause problems.
do you have a doctor? first thing i would suggest is talking to them about this, because obviously they’re better educated than me, and because you should either be getting your depression treated, or maybe change the treatment if it’s not doing enough for you.
that said, i have an eating tag, and not all the posts will be relevant to you, but there are some about eating with a low appetite (another one) and easy meal plans.
the easiest thing would probably be trying some nutrition shakes marketed to the elderly, like ensure, but i don’t know how those taste. if you have trouble getting enough produce, try some baby food pouches - there are many delicious flavors, and you can get a couple servings just by opening and sucking one down, it’s effortless. 
but if your meals tend to be really light, i’d strongly suggest you incorporate some good fats, like coconut oil, ghee, or avocado oil (i’d say olive oil, but it’s actually hard to know if you’re getting real olive oil, the market is rife with fraud) in foods you’re already eating. forget everything you’ve read about fats being bad, you need some fuckin fat. toast a piece of bread and slather it in ghee.
do you like eggs? eggs are extraordinarily nutritious, and for that matter so are potatoes. if you can eat a couple eggs in the morning, a potato in the evening, and a bit of fruit and veg in between, you’ll already be off to a better start. 
on the one hand, i think you should try keeping some of your favorite foods within reach, even if they’re “junk” foods, so it’s easy to reach out and grab some chips or chocolate or whatever, but on the other, i’d also suggest that you try regularly tuning into your body and thinking about if there’s any particular food that just sounds really good at the moment. maybe that’s pasta, or maybe that’s pineapple. even if you’re not actually hungry, try to think about if any type of food sounds good, and do it free of judgment. it’s just as okay to crave french fries as it is to crave broccoli.
you don’t need to take on all of these things at once - in fact, i’d advise against it, because trying to overhaul all your habits at once is doomed to failure. try incorporating one thing at a time, and when you find something that works, develop that as a habit, and then try adding another new thing. if it doesn’t help, you don’t have to keep doing it.
i hope that helps a bit, dear. take care.
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dooodle-bug · 3 years
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The foreshadowing in DHMIS 3, an overly complicated Analysis. I also recommend looking at the tags before you read (Note that I assume you’ve already watched the ENTIRE episode because man is it messed up. Also this is super long)
Ok so, we all (presumably) know the ending to DHMIS 3; Yellow Guy is almost indoctrinated into the Love Cult and all, which is freaky, but I’m about to make it even MORE spooky >:o). How? By going step by step in how cults irl indoctrinate members and how that can be applied the events in the episode leading to that messed up ending (a better word for it would be “foreshadowing” I guess). Before we begin, I wanna let you know I’m using this (x) as my reference because, I dunno, it seemed legit (but do correct me if I’m wrong). Also note that I’ll only extract info that I feel is relevant to this topic, but I HIGHLY recommend checking it out if you’re interested in doing your own research. So without further ado, let’s get into it, c’mon, just over the rainbow!
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Step 1. Invitation to a non-threatening event.
Sounds simple enough. Basically, possible recruits are invited to a nice, innocent event, like a nice get together or a party because honestly, who tf goes “Hey, wanna join our messed up, evil cult?” Like, that’s just bad business. This wasn’t in the article, but I also hear recruitment usually happens when people are at their lowest lows and are emotionally vulnerable (not to say emotional vulnerability is bad, it’s actually really important to express you’re emotions), said people given harmless, yes-no questions. Sound familiar?
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Yellow guy is at a sad, low point in his life because Duck squashed that pesky bee (I guess that low point could’ve been worse, but just roll with it we’re talking about dhmis).
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Suddenly, that bastard little baby pigeon rolls around asking small, yes-no questions like “Have you ever wondered why we’re here?” and “What’s it all about? You have no idea” and stuff, provide hope for Yellow, hitting him with the “We can live in Harmunee~” crap and stuff. Then, Shrignold offers to Yellow to help him “Understand about Luuuhhhvee~” where it’s about TiMe for him to learn ALL about it, sending him to a nice, happy, innocent place up in the clouds to “learn about love” with all of Shrig’s “friends”. (There’s a bunch more manipulation, but it’s mostly to make Yellow entertained and more interested in joining their innocent club by making him lower his guard)
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Step one has been completed.
Step 2. Love-Bombing
Basically, the cult showers you with Love and Praise, giving you a good feeling and connecting that positive feeling with the event, leading you to be more likely accept their invitations. And what do we have here?
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“So here are with all my friends and they love you, all of them!” They are flat out being all lovey dovey with Yellow saying stuff like “We love you~!” making him feel welcomed and happy. Notice how Yellow seems happy and open at the welcoming, going “I love you too furry boy!” This is basically LOVE-bombing in an almost literal sense! Thus, step two has been completed.
Step 3: Dangling the “Prize” in Front of you
This one is basically where the cult says you get something special (where material or not) if you join or study with them, thus making you wanna want something from them. The members may seem happy, introducing you to “success stories” where members explain how amazing their life is after joining the group, causing you to want the same.
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A little tricky to pinpoint, but we see how Happy and Wonderful and Nice the lives are of the members, going on about What love is (relating to how it is supposed to be a LESSON) and What they love and How they’re not lonely and yadda yadda yadda. Yellow Guy seems to follow with what they’re getting at and tries to Love too:
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he’s going “I love this tree and I love this stick and I love this”, what I infer to be him trying to get in on all that love everyone seems to enjoy (especially considering he was told he was Lonely by Shrignold prior). Thus, step 3 is complete.
Step 4. Extracting an agreement from you that you want the prize.
This is basically where they get you to say and agree that you want that prize, hooking you on psychologically, making it feel like it’s a part of your identity. 
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Now this one felt REALLY hard to pinpoint when Yellow Guy does this, but my theory is that it comes when he admits to being lonely as everyone seems to pitch and pressure this idea of having a Speshul 1 that everyone apparently has. Idk, this is MY theory, but suggestions to improve would be appreciated <:o). Anyhoo, step 4 is completed.
Step 5. Shutting down your dissent by threatening to withhold the prize.
This is getting pretty serious: you’ll be encouraged/forced to do more risky, serious tasks that you may rather not do. Upon protesting, cultists will threaten you, saying you’ll never obtain the prize that you said you wanted prior.
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To me, I feel like this moment occurs when Shrigold says “yes, you ARE lonely and stupid so let me explain it in a different way” (not exactly his words, but the harder, painful equivalent).
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Then they go on about Micheal, the ugliest boy in town who lived all alone underground with no Spesual 1 in sight despite what the members say. To me, this is almost like a threat, like this is gonna be YOU because you’re ugly and weak and don’t listen to us and are lonely. Idk this is getting really tricky for me and that’s just my interpretation. Anyways, step 5. is complete I guess.
Step 6. Establishment of Guilt.
This one’s easy. The cult makes you feel guily, causing you to blame yourself for your upbringing, which in turn makes you even more susceptible to manipulation.
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Yet again, another tricky one to pinpoint! If anything, I feel like Yellow is guilt tripped about how his heart beats like a big love drum for his not present Speshul 1. However he must be patient because that Speshul 1 would MAYBE come, I’m not sure. 
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This guilting could also take place (either after or with) the discussion of how “she’s made for him and he’s made for her”, which is basically homophobia as they go on about how Perfect and Pure it is, how it’s Always Been, and how it’s Protected With a Ring. This could be because they seem to REALLY enforce this idea on Yellow, maybe even guilting him? Again, not too sure, but step 6 is now completed.
Step 7. Carrot/Stick
This one is where behavior is conditioned, “good” behavior being rewarded and “bad” behavior being punished.
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This one’s a little easier to pinpoint. The cult says they must feed Malcolm GrAvEl or he becomes angry. Of course, Yellow isn’t outright rewarded or punished, but said things ARE implied. Thus step 7 is completed. Now onto the last step!
Step 8. Control of identity, information, environment
Now this one is where it gets really scary and really serious. Recruits are (sometimes) forced to disassociate from previous family and friends, the cult holding a tighter reign on the members and keep them in. Thus, they get sucked into the cult, being fully controlled.
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Perhaps one of the easiest to identify, the cult flat out says that “all we’re asking you to do is Change your name and Clean your brain, and Forget about anything you ever knew”, which to me sounds like it exactly fits the mark of the Love Cult trying to brainwash Yellow into being under their control so he and Speshul 1′s love will never go. Thus, step 8 is (almost) complete as we reach the end of the episode.
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But hey, that’s just an interpretation! Upon doing this research, I was able to see the episode through a new perspective and find it even more creepy than I did prior. I gotta say, I had oodles of fun writing this and hope you enjoyed! Of course, constructive criticism is always welcome and I’d love to hear your interpretations! This is getting irrationally long, so peace out!
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moved-19871997 · 2 years
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Well, you said you'd love to hear my thoughts in the tags and I like talking about this, hello, I was the one talking about Dan Sloss, and I'll do my best to make it coherent and shorter than the initial plan, it isnt much but ill still try
Also, the name was Jigsaw aparently, not Puzzle, cool
So, for starters, I wanna point out that Daniel's specials usually use the principle of the Chekhov's gun narrative and a method explained in Hannah Gadsby's comedy special (not sure if its in Nanette or Douglas) about tension used for comedy. I'm not any of those people and I will not elaborate, I'm sorry, you should look it up tho, really interesting
"Oh my god, did she just reference another stand-up?", yes, I get upset very easily, comedy makes it better
Something else worth mentioning is that he is the type of person that got to talk long enough to sound like a genius, he's stupid yall, dont get fooled, anyway...
Spoiling the show, Daniel learned from his dad, as a child, that family, hobbies, friends and everything is part of a jigsaw, in which the picture is your life, the center would be the goal, and our goal is love, I can't explain it properly, its a full hour of content
He's a bad person, he's relatable, he's got extreme views, and he got dumped, so he doesn't believe in love, haha loser, there's a lot we should unpack but no time, moving on
Do we remember that whole thing? Do we remember thinking he wanted to kill his ex so he didnt have to deal the awkwardness of calling it quits just to deal with what felt like our heart broke with his? Good, lets go
What kid Daniel learned from his father was that love is supposed to be the final and most important part of a jigsaw, that your soulmate would just fit and that would make you happy, but we all learned that love is perfect and if it isn't perfect its our fault, so we developed a tendency to make bad relationships work no matter what, but they dont.
Well hello there Dream, you said soulmates are... people that match perfectly with you and your personality? Interesting.
What we see here is Dream matching the logic that Daniel is skeptical of. I could make parallels or talk about how Dream's pov could be the very thing to deteriorate his relationships with his friends, but I won't. Let me tell you how adorable it is that Dream was the one to call his platonic soulmates pieces of his puzzle
The goal of a puzzle is to solve it, if people are puzzles its not anyone's job to solve/fix someone else, you are the only one who should define who you are and whats a part of you, but some puzzles, some full defined pictures, could be placed next to another one and create a wider landscape, they don't depend on each other to be fulfilled, but it just looks nice and cool
Dream calling his friends pieces of his puzzle could be read as them being so important that even if they parted ways they'd still be a part of him, but also like independent and not at all connected puzzles/people that match so well and are so easy to love and care, that they choose to be together.
Dark Humor will be just my love letter for Twitter, and the general analysis of Daniel's specials is essay-worthy but not relevant rn, so I'll stop here
So... that's my thought, I have spent a little too long thinking about it. I personally don't really like overthinking irl relationships as idk anything about them, but this one makes me happy, so who cares?
I will not read it again, so I'm sorry for any typos and I understand if you also dont read it lmao
Hope you're drinking water :)
OK HI YEAH i do rmr watching it a while back and the puzzle metaphore puts so much into perspective and just in general its such a good special and ifl a lot of what he says come from experience that a lot of people dont have yet and this acceptance that he's not the best person ever n yeah
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undertalethingems · 4 years
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Bark at the Moon, Chapter 6: Slip Through
<Previous / Next>
Or read on my Ao3>
Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon
Chapter Warnings: None?
Chapter Summary: No longer so alone, Papyrus is ready to tackle finding his brother--with Undyne's help, he's sure to find something...
“Okay! It should be late enough that most people'll be home for the night, so chances are no one will spot you, much less recognize you. That should take care of your concerns about being seen, right?”
"Good point," Papyrus agreed, taking another spoonful of the hearty soup Undyne had made. It was a little hard to grip his silverware, so eating was slow, but it was nice to have something hot so he wanted to savor it anyway. At least Undyne was way better at making soup than spaghetti. "It does make me a tad less trousled."
Undyne smiled. "Good. Once you're done there we'll get cleaned up and head out, okay?"
The rest of the evening was relatively quiet--the two traded banter while Papyrus finished his dinner, then they worked together to do the dishes and put things away. And then, all too soon--it was time to start their investigation, which meant stepping into a world Papyrus didn't know that he belonged in. He was sure it was just as ready for him as he was for it--which was to say, not at all.
But Undyne beckoned, and Papyrus shook himself out before reluctantly headed for the door. The outside world loomed, and for a moment he hesitated.... No, he needed to leave. Drawing a deep breath, he stepped out for what felt like the first time in ages. It was strange, feeling the cold again and snow crunching under his claws. But... it was so open... so spacious... he needed to run, to express all the energy he'd had to bottle up!
He tore off towards the nearby clearing, delighting in the wind rushing and newfound strength coursing through him as he galloped down the road. This was where he belonged! Out and about, doing, being! Not cooped up at home, that was sure. He barreled into the snow and rolled around, then got back to his feet and shook the snow from his bones. Oh that felt good! He was fully refreshed, like he'd finally shed the gloom that had washed over him in his house.
Undyne was laughing when she caught up with him, happy to see him acting more like his old self. “Feels good to get out, huh? Being a homebody doesn’t suit you. Alright, now, where do you think Sans might have gone?”
Papyrus stroked his chin. “Well, it's difficult to say, but his basic needs are a place to sleep and bad food... but no one’s reported him from Grillby’s, right?”
“No,” Undyne frowned. “You’d think that’s the first thing we’d hear about—it was Grillby himself who asked me to check up on him… so he’s either still going, or Grillby hasn’t gotten nervous yet. Seems like a good place to start either way!”
Papyrus nodded, and together they turned to head for the restaurant. It glowed a welcoming amber in the subterranean night, but Papyrus declined to enter the establishment, both on account of his current state as well as being firmly opposed to grease as a concept. So he sat in the snow opposite the building as Undyne went in, hoping there'd be lead on his brother. Grillby was, despite how Papyrus felt about the quality of his cooking, a good monster who knew his regulars well. And even if Sans was mad and avoiding him, surely he wouldn't avoid his favorite food.
“No one’s seen him,” Undyne relayed when she’d returned, looking downcast. “Grillby says he stopped coming about two and a half weeks ago. He was about to call me again, actually, it’s kinda funny.”
“Two and a half weeks… that’s when you came to visit.”
“Right,” Undyne said with a wincing smile. “So the timeframe matches… and… I guess there’s something else weird. Grillby almost didn’t tell me--he wasn't sure it was relevant. But… apparently he’s had kids come in a couple times now and order a few burgers to go. When they got asked by one of the other customers what they were for, all they said was that it was some flower monster who wanted them.”
Papyrus blinked. A flower.... “Why would a flower monster need someone to buy burgers for them?
“Dunno, but… Grillby said that what struck him as odd… was that it’s Sans’ favorite they keep ordering, and nothing else. They even ask for extra ketchup.”
“Hmm…” Papyrus trailed, not sure what to make of this information. A certain flower had been his friend in timelines past. Maybe he’d decided to become Sans’ friend this time around? He couldn't be sure, and it made him uneasy. He wasn't always his friend.
“Yeah, I dunno either,” Undyne continued, “but everyone asked how you were and what was up, so they miss you a lot. You better figure this thing out soon or you might have a visiting party from the dogs.”
“I… I’m touched,” Papyrus said softly; he hadn’t thought anyone would pay his absence any mind. They were all Sans’ friends, not his…
“Yeah! I told them you were taking a good long vacation since you tend to overwork yourself, and they bought it, but I think everyone’s looking forward to seeing you guys back in action. Anyway! I say we try and find this flower guy and talk to him. Ask him what he’s doing with those burgers.”
“…It is our only lead,” Papyrus agreed, narrowing his eyes. “If he’s hanging out with Sans, then that would certainly explain it.”
“Alright. I’ve always wanted to do a stakeout,” Undyne grinned, flashing her fangs. “Based on what Grillby told me, those kids should show up tomorrow. Let’s wait here all night and make sure we don’t miss ‘em.”
“An excellent strategy! I am with you one zillion percent!”
The two friends hunkered down in the snow just off the road and out of sight. Undyne couldn’t keep from shivering after a few hours in, so Papyrus darted back home to retrieve a blanket for her. It looked a little conspicuous draped over her shoulders, so with her approval he buried her in snow and left only a small space open for her to peer through. Halfway into the morning she was apparently cozy enough to fall asleep, but Papyrus didn’t mind. He could keep watch in the meantime.
It was just after Grillby unlocked his door for the morning that a trio of kids ran up—a pair of bunnies and a little reptilian child. They greeted the fire monster brightly, and he nodded to them before letting them stumble in. Papyrus prodded Undyne in her side, and she yelped—he’d forgotten he had particularly sharp digits now—but it got the message across. She tossed the blanket aside, shedding snow as she stood.
“Okay. You ready to do this?”
“I was born ready!” Papyrus replied, crouching in anticipation.
“Okay! I want you to stay back and track behind us while I get the kids to take me to the flower. I don't want anything to go unnoticed, so you'll keep an eye on the whole thing. Understand?”
“Oh… Yes! What a cunning plan! We will soon learn the truth with you at the helm!”
“Heck yeah! Alright, shh, here they come.”
The kids skipped from Grillby's, each with a small bag in their arms—or, in the little reptilian child’s case, their mouth. Papyrus could smell the grease from here, and regretted having such a powerful sense of smell in this form. At least it would make them easy to follow. He watched them trot down the street towards Waterfall, giggling and chatting to each other as they walked, discussing what they’d do with the extra money they were making. So, someone really was paying them to buy bad decisions…
Undyne waited until they were a bit further down the road to make her move, stepping out from the sidelines to follow them. Papyrus stayed within the trees, swift and silent on his feet as he trailed them, wondering where all this would lead.
“Hey guys!” Undyne called, waving casually to the trio as she caught up with them just outside Waterfall. They turned to face her, and the reptile dropped their bag on account of their jaw falling open.
“Oh my gosh! Yo! It’s Undyne!” the child exclaimed in a stunned whisper. “Act cool, she’s only the most awesome monster in the whole Underground!”
The bunnies exchanged looks, but smiled politely as the captain approached.
“You kids off to have a picnic?” she began, and the little ones milled around a bit before one of the bunnies answered.
“Um, no…”
“Really? Can I ask where you're taking those burgers then?”
The reptilian was quick to answer. “There’s this flower guy who loves ‘em! But his roots keep him from going inside Grillby’s, plus it's too cold for him in Snowdin anyway, so he has to ask us kids to get ‘em for him! We’re helping our fellow monsters, just like you want us to!”
“Good job,” Undyne said proudly. “Hey, I kinda want to meet this guy. Think I could tag along?”
“Um, I guess so?” the other bunny answered, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s nothing real special.”
The kids led the way with Undyne in tow, and Papyrus couldn’t help but feel hopeful. He kept just out of sight as they wound through the dark, damp halls of Waterfall, crossed the bridge, and came to a field of echo flowers. Amid the whispering expanse of eerie blue, there was a bright spot of yellow. It was a flower with face, stretched with a cheery smile.
“Howdy kids!” the flower chirped brightly. “Oh boy, you brought a new friend! Could this be the Undyne you’ve told me so much about?”
“It totally is!” the reptilian answered gleefully, dropping their bag again as they hopped. “She wanted to meet you! You’re sooo lucky!”
“I sure am!” the plant replied, but Papyrus thought there was something just a bit off in his expression. “And hey, looks like you brought everything else too!”
“Here you go, mister Flowey,” one of the bunnies said as the trio handed their bags over. “You must like burgers a whole lot if you eat so many. Doesn’t your momma tell you you’ll get sick if you eat too much of them?”
“Well, you wanna know something real sad? Flowers don’t exactly have moms,” Flowey replied, and the children gasped sadly.
“Yo, you never had a mom?!”
“That is so sad…”
“Miss Undyne, did you know he didn’t have a momma?!”
Undyne sighed. “Not everyone’s that lucky. You guys run home and hug your moms extra hard, okay?”
“Okay!” the trio chorused.
“Hey, but enough of that for now!” Flowey spoke again. “You guys have been a big help! Here’s your tip, hee hee!”
He tossed each of the kids a little sack of gold using a thin vine, and the three ran off, giggling and waving. Undyne stayed behind, as did Flowey. The two eyed one another for a moment, until Undyne broke the quiet.
“Listen, I won’t keep you long, but I came with those kids because I need to ask you something. I need to know if you’ve seen or know the whereabouts of a man named Sans. He’s a skeleton monster about yea tall, and tends to wear a blue jacket and black shorts. Know him?”
“Hmm…” Flowey tapped a vine to his chin. “Doesn’t sound familiar. Can I ask why you’re looking for him? Did he do something bad?”
“No. He went missing about two weeks ago, and we were given the impression you might know something,” Undyne replied, folding her arms.
“Who told you that? I’m just a flower, I don’t get out much,” Flowey replied, looking offended.
“Well… from what we’ve heard, that’s when you started asking those kids to get burgers for you, and they happen to be Sans’ favorite.”
“...That’s your lead? Really?” Flowey scoffed as he reached into the closest bag to unwrap a burger and bit into it. “Listen. I’m stuck out here in Waterfall. It took me forever to come across anything like Grillby’s cooking, and now, I can’t get enough of it. Can you really blame me for asking my fellow monsters to help a guy out? Is that so wrong?”
“Well, no,” Undyne huffed. “But—”
“Listen, I’m sorry to hear about this Sans guy, and I hope you find him. But I just really like these burgers. I had no idea he liked them too—hey, I can’t blame him, hee hee! I’ll let you know if I see anything, but this is the first I’ve even heard of him,” Flowey said, tilting his head in a shrug before taking another bite. Undyne pursed her lips.
“Well, thanks, I guess. Sorry to bother you. Let the Guard know if you do find anything.”
She marched away with brows furrowed, and Papyrus lingered to watch Flowey just a bit longer. Flowey waited until she was definitely out of the room to spit his mouthful of food out, his lip curled as he glared in her direction. Then he gathered up the bags with his vines and disappeared into the earth.
Papyrus went from feeling disappointed to terrified.
His magic pulsing through him in a panicked rush, he left his spot in the shadows to investigate where Flowey had vanished. He found a small mound of upturned soil and no other physical signs, but there was a smell. Not the smell of fresh grease from Grillby’s, nor the scent of clammy mud and grass, though all were present. No, this was a smell that made his magic coil so tensely in his chest he thought it might burst, a smell that made him shiver from skull to tailtip at its presence.
It was the faint smell of earthy bone and stale ketchup.
Flowey was a liar.
Flowey was, very often, not a good person and wouldn’t even try sometimes. Papyrus had hoped that with the dearth of resets lately he might have given up on playing with everyone’s lives, but it seemed this was not the case. He still hoped, naturally, that one day Flowey would make the right choice, but with him acting the way he had, and Sans being how he was now…
Papyrus groaned. Maybe Sans was happy. He was alive, at least, and even if Flowey had him trapped somewhere, somehow, he was getting out of work, probably napping a lot and being brought his favorite food. He’d said himself that was all Sans really needed… Maybe Sans just didn’t want to come home after all. He hoped it was like that.
“Papyrus…?” Undyne’s voice echoed from down the corridor, and he perked up. He glanced back down at the little clump of dirt where Flowey had been, and pushed his heartbreak aside. If Sans was happy somewhere, then so was he. He heaved a sigh, and trotted to catch up with his captain.
"Did you see something?" Undyne asked when he caught up, and he glanced around before answering in a low voice.
"No, not a thing! How frustrating," he huffed. "I suppose there's nothing for it but to keep waiting. However long that is..."
Undyne considered his words, then turned to him with a grin. "Hey! Rather than stay cooped up in your house again, how about you come over to mine? You know, for a sleepover."
Papyrus blinked. "Really?"
"Sure! I also know a couple spots where NO ONE ever comes, so we can hang out there and you don't have to worry about being seen. That'd be pretty nice, right?"
Papyrus was taken aback. "Well, certainly, b-but--are you sure that's proper? F-for you? There's etiquette and such, I read it in the Royal Guard handbook handbook."
"Psh, I don't care about what's proper! All that etiquette stuff is a TOTAL DRAG! AND! I'M THE CAPTAIN! I DECIDE WHAT RULES TO ENFORCE! And I say SCREW 'EM! I care about my friend, who's been stuck alone in his house for way too long. It'll be fun!"
Papyrus hemmed and hawed. Was it really okay...? Undyne thought so, and after everything today he wasn't sure he could take being alone another night. She had called him her friend... he almost couldn't believe it... But he knew he shouldn't stay by himself again. "Um... well... alright. It does sound nice."
"HECK yeah it does!" Undyne beamed, punching him in the shoulder playfully. "Now come on, I dunno about you but we've been out long enough. Let's head back to my place."
Papyrus let her lead the way along the winding corridors and yawning chasms of Waterfall until they reached the quiet corner where Undyne's house sat. He followed her in and immediately slipped on the ceramic tile floor, his legs sliding out from under him with a scrape. He groaned, and Undyne stifled a laugh as she helped him stand.
"I guess there is one problem with you staying here," she teased as they hobbled over to the table together. "Good thing it's not a big one!"
"Just embarrassing," Papyrus griped as he sat, carefully balancing with all four feet crammed on the chair. He drummed his claws as Undyne puttered around the kitchen, making what turned out to be tea.
"Figured something warm would be nice," she said, setting a cup before him as she joined him, and for a little while they sat quietly as it cooled. But Undyne always got contemplative when she made tea, and it wasn't long before she spoke. "You know... it's weird, but... I've gotten pretty used to you being like this. It's actually really cool."
"You mean it?" Papyrus asked, and she nodded.
"Yeah! I don't think any other monster can transform like you do, and into this awesome skeleton... beast thing? If I were a human, I'd surrender after just looking at you!"
Papyrus fidgeted. "Well, I suppose that's good..."
He didn't really want to be intimidating. That'd been what he wanted. A reason why they hadn't been allowed to change.
Apparently his discomfort was obvious, because Undyne's mood shifted. "But... being scary... that's not your style, huh? You really don't want to look like this. And it's been getting to you, and now Sans too... Maybe I'm way off, but I get the feeling... this isn't really something you want, and it's actually kind of serious."
"It's nothing to be worried about!" Papyrus uttered quickly. "I'm fine! I just miss my fashions, and my dashing good looks, and holding things like a person who doesn't have sharp claws! And fitting in my bed without having to fold myself up, and going grocery shopping, and not being trapped in my own home, and--and--"
"Hey, easy there," Undyne soothed, extending a hand across the table. "I know it's been rough on you, and Sans being gone hasn't helped. But we'll find him, and you'll get through this. Uh... hey! We should go shopping together sometime! There's whole sections for monsters with your body type, you've got all kinds of options open now. That sounds fun, right?"
Papyrus managed a laugh. "I suppose. I... I guess I ought to consider the fact this is my life now..."
He didn't want to give up. He wasn't going to! He just... had to accept that for the foreseeable future, this was how things would be. He'd said as much to Sans, hadn't he? That they should embrace all that they were? As much as he wanted to go back to his other form... he should just accept this one for now.
"That's a good idea, Undyne. Thank you. I think I should just forget worrying about it."
Undyne smiled, though not as widely as she liked to. "That might be the best idea. I also think... we should get some rest. We sorta stayed up most of the night."
She squinted for a moment.
"And now that I think about it, we didn't really need to. It's not like those kids were gonna show up at 3am..."
Papyrus chuckled. "Nyeh heh, but we were ready! Who knows! Maybe they had planned a daring escapade, sneaking out from under their parent's noses to acquire illicit grease!"
"Well, they wouldn't have gotten very far, considering Grillby's was closed by then."
"That's! A fair point. Whatever, we still had fun!"
Undyne grinned. "Yeah we did. But, I'm pretty worn out from all that, and I've still gotta patrol later, so we should rest."
"I suppose. I'm not sleepy, but... Some time to 'chill' might be nice..."
"Sounds good to me. I'm gonna take a nap, you can hang out here. Help yourself to any snacks, I don't mind."
"Okay. I will be polite about it, not to worry! Now, if it were Sans, you might..." he started to joke, but sadness overcame him. "Sans... I hope he's really okay..."
"I'm sure he's fine, wherever he is," Undyne replied, the slightest edge to her voice. "Come on, let's relax and not worry about things for a bit. You're not gonna find him any faster by stressing."
He let her take the lead again, helping her lay some spare blankets on the floor so he wasn't constantly sliding around and had a place to lay down if he wanted. But once she retired to her room, he was left in the quiet of her home. And there was nothing to keep his thoughts from echoing louder and louder within his skull.
Where was Sans? Was Flowey really responsible for his disappearance? What did he want with him anyway? If he was handling this so poorly, how was Sans holding up? Would he be alright? It hadn't been too long since he left, but in the state of mind he'd been in, and how stressed they'd been before--it had only taken him a few days to slip into old habits. Even without Flowey interfering, would Sans still...?
Papyrus curled up in the blankets and shivered as quietly as he could.
At breakfast the next day, Undyne let him know he could stay as long as he wanted, and he agreed--it was a major improvement over staying in his home alone. But as generous as Undyne's offer was, her house was even smaller than his and it only took a couple days for him to get antsy again. She came back from a shift to find him attempting to walk on the ceiling using blue magic, and her startled shout broke his concentration. He fell most of the way before catching himself and floating the rest, landing deftly on his feet. He fidgeted sheepishly under her perplexed gaze before explaining.
"I. Um. Was very bored."
Undyne blinked, and rubbed her forehead with a finger as she stepped the rest of the way into her house. "I can tell, but now there's claw marks in the plaster."
"Sorry."
"Hah! It actually looks rad, so don't worry about it. But geez, I guess being cooped up in one house isn't much better than being cooped up in another. Do I need to get you like, a chew toy or something?"
Papyrus lowered his brows. "That sounds nice... and I hate it."
"Gotcha. I just know it helps the dogs stay focused on a slow shift. I could check some stuff out of the library?"
"I've already read most of my books back home, I don't know if I want to read more..." Papyrus sighed, laying down dejectedly. "I want to do things..."
Undyne frowned. "Man, I really hate seeing you like this... And you're dead-set on not going outside?"
"Not where anyone can see," Papyrus huffed. "If Sans were here, he could just take me somewhere with a shortcut... but I guess he had better things to do."
"Hey, I know he's happy to slack off and ditch anything that looks like work, but I don't believe for a second he'd completely abandon you," Undyne snapped. "He's out there somewhere, and we'll find him--but for now, you're getting out of the house."
"How?!"
"I told you, I know some spots that are way out of the way--no one'll ever see you. I usually use 'em to train.. or.... um... reenact scenes from human history stuff Alphys has shown me... But! It's perfect! I've got another patrol in a bit, so we can head over now and you can hang out there until I'm done. How's that sound?"
Papyrus mulled it over. "And you promise no one will see?"
Undyne nodded firmly. "You have my word. C'mon, let's get some snacks and stuff for you and get going."
"Um... maybe I will take that chew toy too. Just in case."
Undyne beamed, and together they packed a small sling of supplies. Together, they snuck furtively through passages and halls before coming to a grotto leading up a cliff face. Undyne rolled her shoulders, then vaulted up the walls, quickly scaling them; after only a few moments of consideration, Papyrus followed her, leaping most of the way before digging in with his claws and hauling himself the rest of the way up. They traversed another passage, ducking stalactites and squeezing through when the passage narrowed to a fraction of its original width. It was clear why no one ever came this way--it was a hassle just to get through.
But finally the hall opened into a sizable cavern, illuminated by massive spires of glowing crystals, and a still lake filled one side towards the back. A cliff thrust dramatically over the water, and Papyrus instantly knew Undyne used it to practice monologues. No wonder she liked this spot.
"We're here!" she said cheerfully, spinning on her heel to face him as she gestured at the scenery. "I've explored every cranny of this place. There are no other offshoots of any tunnels, and it's so far away no one can hear you scream as you reach your next power level. You can do whatever you want here!"
"Thank you for showing it to me, Undyne. But now I know this secret about you," Papyrus teased.
"And if you tell anyone, I'll have to kill you," Undyne replied, a smile still on her face.
"I gladly accept!"
Undyne coughed laughing. "Oh my god! Papyrus!"
"Not to worry, Undyne, I only jest! I would never tell anyone your secrets. I'd say my lips are sealed, but I don't have any!"
Undyne burst out laughing again, and Papyrus waved his tail from side to side--joking around with Undyne always made him feel better. It was too bad she had to leave, but she had a job to do.
"Well hey, I gotta head out, but we'll hang out here after I'm done, okay?" she promised, and he watched her go feeling optimistic. He still hated having to stay away from everyone, but... at least this place was big enough to run around in.
He turned to study the cavern once more--then unhooked the sling of goodies from his spines and took off, dashing around the room, splashing through the shallows of the lake, climbing the rock formations only to leap and take off again. Oh, to run and jump and move again, why, he could just--
He opened his jaws wide to let a beam of pure magic sear through the air. He snapped his mouth shut and skidded to a halt in surprise--oh. Too soon. He'd have to get a better handle on that one for sure.
Heaving a sigh, Papyrus shook himself out with a clatter and paced over to the sling he'd left on the cave floor. Pulling it open with claws and teeth, he eyed the chew toy--a little rubber newspaper--and picked it up before walking over to the lakeside and laying down. Despite his initial reluctance to take it, it had occurred to him that if he really was going to work to accept his form as it was, he might as well indulge some of the instincts he had. It was surprisingly satisfying to squeeze the rubber between his teeth as he thought, and it helped with the general fidgetiness he'd been feeling of late.
No wonder the dogs liked this kind of thing. It was actually pretty calming.
Eventually, he lost interest though. He set the toy aside and wandered over to the other things they'd packed. Snacks... no, he wasn't hungry. He pushed a can of peanuts away, and it rolled with a clatter... He looked at it pointedly and pushed it again, harder. It rolled further and he hopped to give chase, batting and pawing at it, sending it spinning across the cave floor. He pounced on it--and it skidded from under his claws right into the lake. He went after it, but it was too late--it had already sunk out of sight. He lashed his tail in frustration, his toy gone--but a flash of white beneath the water's surface caught his eye.
He crept to the edge--and was soon entertaining himself by chasing eyeless cave fish around the shallows, summoning tiny bone mazes and watching as they wove through the obstacles to avoid him. But eventually they fled to the depths where he feared to tread, and he left the water to shake and dry off. Oh, that chewy thing looked fun again.
A sound caught his attention--one that wasn't made by him. It felt like a really long time since there'd been any sounds, and he rose into a low crouch as he listened to it draw near. A hard, clanking sound, something big--wait, he knew what it was! A friend! He'd play with them.
"Papyrus! I'm back!" Undyne called into the cavern, and was immediately tackled from behind. She rolled onto her back and kicked, sending her assailant flying with a yelp. She got to her feet, already beaming. "Hah! You thought you could pull one over on ME?! I'm the Captain of the Royal freakin' Guard, punk!"
Papyrus had risen as well, and fixed her with a daring look--before taking off across the room, only to circle back and bark at her when she didn't follow.
"What, you think this is a GAME?!" she bellowed, and took off after him. They wove around the room, throwing out bones and spears alike to try tripping each other up; Undyne was fast, but on four legs, Papyrus was faster and ran circles around her, sometimes stopping just out of reach as if to taunt her.
Wait. Why wasn't he just taunting her?
"Dude, Papyrus, timeout," she called, slowing to a jog. Papyrus continued to trot around her mockingly. She scowled, and cast a spear horizontally in his path--he leapt over it easily and didn't slow down at all, jumping over it again as he circled back around. "Oh come on!"
He trilled something that almost sounded like "nyeh heh heh", and Undyne squinted.
"Uh, Papyrus...? Why aren't you talking?"
Finally, he seemed to slow down, and confusion danced briefly on his face. But then he went back to trotting at full speed, that mischievous look back on his face.
Undyne frowned, and brandished another spear. With a wave, Papyrus' soul flashed green, and he was suddenly locked in place. He gave a playful growl as he spun to face her, tail lashing. Light gathered in his jaws--Undyne lunged forward, wrapping her hand around his muzzle. His eyes went wide in surprise, and white-hot sparks shot from between his teeth as he coughed on his unfired beam. Undyne let him go, and he spluttered for a bit more before shaking himself out and staring at the ground.
"Ahem. Oh dear."
"Papyrus?"
He looked up at her. "Yes."
Undyne made a face at him. "Did you forget how to talk or something?"
Papyrus winced. "Um. Maybe a little."
"How does that even happen? Are you okay?" Undyne asked, and Papyrus shook himself out again before sitting and staring at his feet.
"It's so easy sometimes," he uttered, and she lowered a brow.
"To forget how to talk?"
"To forget how to person."
Undyne grimaced. "Is that... part of your... um. Transformation?"
Papyrus shrugged. "A little, I guess. There are some things that just make more sense, like this. Like, how to smell things, how to chase... It's like parts of my brain wake up--or would, if I had a brain. But, it's like other parts want to sleep. Ones that... supposedly are less useful."
Undyne saw the subtle shiver that ran through him.
But Papyrus quickly puffed his chest out. "But it's fine! They only want to sleep, and I don't sleep! I slipped up a little bit today, but that's okay! I'm still me!"
"Yeah you are," Undyne affirmed, punching him lightly in the shoulder and knocking him off balance. "Still, should I, uh, be worried about it?"
"No! Because you'll be able to break me out of it! You're great at breaking things!"
"Heck yeah! Don't worry Papyrus, I've got your back," Undyne reassured him. "You ready to head home?"
"Yes! I think I'm in sore need of some bad television. Just the thing to take my mind off losing my mind!"
"Papyrus, oh my god."
It was much later, long after Undyne had gone to bed, that Papyrus let himself think about what had happened. It was unsettling how easily he'd given in to instinct today. And sure, he was trying to accept himself for what he was, and that meant accepting those instincts too. But until he was used to engaging all parts of his mind equally--as easily as he'd once exchanged one form for another--it was too easy to slip firmly into what he had wanted him to be. Was it really their training that made it so alluring, or was it something intrinsic about this form that made acting on instinct so easy...?
He really had to wonder how Sans was doing on that front.
The doctor had had him the longest, pushed him the hardest. He'd never been able to mold him into the perfectly obedient weapon he desired, but he'd worn him down until there was little left but his instincts, and that was almost as good in the doctor's eyes. Papyrus had managed to encourage him to reclaim the full range of his senses and intelligence, but it hadn't been easy, and Sans had relapsed many times before they'd finally sent the doctor to his fate.
But they weren't in the lab anymore; wherever Sans was, Papyrus had doubts it was nearly as harsh.
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silvia7272 · 4 years
Text
8 ~ The Blog-Off
I thought it would be time to meet some of the secondary characters I haven’t introduced yet. Also, I think this might be the third to last one before Piper is introduced to the gang? Maybe, just soon, I hope. And I think it’ll feel like a massive info dump but oh well, I wanted more people than just the class.
Also, I want to give these characters some actual personality traits, hope you like them.
Since I’ve made it that Timetagger isn’t canon in my storyline then I’ll have to add that Alix’s watch is just a unique watch and not a Miraculous since she’s a part of the class salt. Hopefully, that makes sense. Also, the episode Feast hasn’t happened either.
Word Count: 5698
Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me​ @luleck​, @themotherofhogwarts​, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.
.
Ok, so I just checked on the fanon website information for Miraculous Ladybug and it says Juleka and Alix are 15, how? And why couldn’t they just make it simple so they’re all 13 at the start? I really don’t get it, could someone explain it to me, it just seems so odd to only have 2 people at different ages, (Just saw that Kagami is 15 as well)? For now, they first became heroes at 13, Adrien 14 because his birthday was in the bubbler. Including those 3 cause it makes more sense, because if Juleka really is 15 it's said that Luka is 2 years older than her so that means he’s 17 and that makes me extremely iffy about him liking a 13-year-old Marinette. Yikes, I like Luka leave him alone damn it.
So, the second year of Miraculous Ladybug, they’re all 14-15.
***
It was a particularly sunny day at Collège Françoise Dupont. There hadn’t been any Akuma’s for a while. Leaving everyone a chance to relax.
Well, most could relax.
“Aurore I’m sure its fine, you don’t need to stress so much” Her friend Mireille tried to calm her friend down to no avail. She was still staring at her phone.
“Y-Yeah cheer up. It's only been a day. Maybe people just haven’t l-looked under that tag yet?” But that response only made the blonde glare.
“How could they not. Its an actual Akuma battle I was able to get hold of and nothing? Unbelievable!” The video itself was of the Akuma SleepSis, Aurore was able to get some footage, shaky, but she was able to upload that battle.
Unluckily for her, it seemed that no one was interested but a few people. She couldn’t understand, it had Ladybug and Chat Noir as well as that new hero everyone wanted to know. But because she was new no one paid any attention to it.
“Hey, it's only the first video. Maybe if you make more people will see you.” Mireille suggested, she didn’t want to see her friend upset, they had started to become closer after their rocky start and she didn’t want her to be Akumatized because of this.
“It's so not fair, my video is the latest Akuma fight and nothing has come of it, meanwhile little miss blogger gets all the attention and she hardly does any posts about Akuma’s anymore, it's all about this Lila girl, who by the way is completely fake. Nothing on Akuma’s, more about Ladybug’s love life, why should we give a damn about that-” And here we had a completely wild Aurore, she was ranting while her friends were trying to calm her down. Marc already knew Lila was lying when Marinette told him after… Certain events happened. And Mireille was a good friend, believing Marc and Aurore right away, they had come at separate times and besides, after hearing the girl, all Mireille could see was fakery everywhere.
“Excuse me? Can we sit here?” A voice spoke, breaking the three out of their conversation.
“Huh? Marinette! How are you?” Aurore stood to hug the bluenette who was overjoyed with the fact they saw each other again. Their class schedules were so spread out, this had been the first time, before Rosina joined in fact, that she could see them.
And boy did they change.
“Err Marinette I don’t want to tell you this but Chloé is behind you, extremely close behind you” She pointed to the blonde who didn’t seem amused at all.
“Geez blondie, don’t talk about someone who’s in-ear reach!”
“Well maybe if you weren’t so close to us you wouldn’t hear!” They glared at each other so hard you could see the literal spark in their eyes.
This was going to be a long day.
***
“Sooo you two are friends now?” Mireille concluded after hearing this whole story.
“I find that extremely hard to believe” Aurore spoke, her eyes still not breaking away from Chloé.
“Well, no one's forcing you!” She retaliated.
“Eheh… So where is this miracle worker?” Marc but in, he found it better that Chloé was trying to mend her old ways, and try to redeem herself. It seemed to be working at least, she wasn’t insulting everyone at the table, only Aurore.
“She said she was coming later, she wanted to go explore something” Marinette explained, oblivious of Chloé’s horrified expression.
“And you let her!? You know she needs to be kept in check, what if she’s halfway across Paris by no-” Arms appeared around the girl's shoulders.
“Mari! Chlo! Hiya” It said.
“Ahhh! Don’t scare me like that!” Chloé hit her head, she was too surprised to realise who it was, but she wasn’t sorry, no one should scare someone and expect nothing to happen to them.
“Hey, no fair, it was only as they say a jest” Marinette held an embarrassed smile. Taking Rosina’s arm as they sat down at the table.
“Anyway Rosina, these are the friends I was talking about. Aurore, Mireille and Marc” She pointed to them as Rosina excitedly waved.
“H-Hi-” Marc couldn’t finish that sentence.
“Wow, I love your pigtails they look so cool. Aww, you look so cute in that outfit, like a cute little panda. Wow, I love your t-shirt I so want one for myself.” They all seemed confused. Why was this girl flattering them?
“Don’t worry she does that to everyone,” Marinette clarified.
“Yep, I read if you want to make a good impression you must compliment to provide a friendship with them, now that we’re friends what should we do?” She smiled an enormously large smile, she looked cute and happy, like they could feel the positivity radiating of the girl.
“You’ll get used to this as well, she’s always this happy.”
It was silent after that. No one really seemed to talk, because there was still a big elephant in the room. And it was all pointing to a specific blonde.
“Ugh fine I get it. I’ll go and leave you all in peace” Chloé got up and started to walk away. But two hands pulled her back.
“Wait Chloé it's fine. You seem like you’re really trying so I’ll give you a second chance.” Mireille said.
“Mmhmm, yeah Chloé you’re getting so much better, she even got me a phone” She held it up, her charm still intact, she wanted to take good care of it.
“Wow really?” Marc was surprised, Chloé actually gave someone a present? Was she an imposter? No, it didn’t seem like an Akuma.
“Yeah wanna see?” The redhead excitedly showed off her first-ever phone to the boy. Even explaining things Marc knew but didn’t have the heart to tell her.
“Mhmm buying your way into friendship now?” Aurore so wasn’t convinced at all; sure, people could change but she wasn’t about to forgive Chloé after all the years of her bullying her.
“For your information, Rosina was in need of a phone because she’s never had one. So, it was a gift” She retorted, arms crossed as Marinette put her hand to her forehead. Her and Mireille had given up trying to hold them back, it was obvious they weren’t going to like each other, it might take more time for them to get along.
“As if I’ll fall for that trick. I’ll see you crack under the pressure real soon Chloé Bourgeois.” She huffed as her head turned, refusing to look at her anymore.
“Whatever Aurore Beauréal” The other four were paying attention to Rosina as she was showing all her new apps.
“Err, R-Rosina I can’t understand any of it, what language is it in?” It wasn’t in French that was for sure.
“See see, since I’m still getting used to the French, so I’ve put it in Arabic since it's easier, that way whenever I text my friends they won’t get confused if I get anything wrong.” She gleamed as she put it back in her bag.
“It's fine Rosy, we can help you just tell us ok?”
They continued to talk as they had 1 hour of a free period left. And a previous topic came back to relevance.
“So, you’re a blogger as well?” Rosina was told what a blogger was after Alya overheard her uncertainty. She was dragged off by the girl as she explained. She showed all of her videos to her. Rosina was amazed by the fact one could capture motion and replay it. She had heard about a blog before but had yet to see it. Chloé and Marinette were able to steal her away after causing a distraction.
���A beginner, I was kinda inspired by Alya’s, but it slowly derailed into fake news, so I wanted to make one myself, for Ladybug. She’s been amazing for us and she deserves to be respected. Not pry about her love life or identity” Marinette was beaming on the inside, finally, someone wanting facts and information, plus she knew Lila was bs anyway. She couldn’t be more relieved.
“But… No one seems to want to watch it” Her confidence wavered, Marinette felt dejected, how could she help her she wondered?
“Can we see it? I wanna see what it's about” Aurore beamed with joy, she happily showed her, watching for any change in the girl's faces.
But before the redhead could state her opinions, the blonde beat her to it.
“There's nothing special about it”
“What! H-” She held up her hand, she so wasn’t done.
“It looks like a video that Césaire girl could do, hell I could do that with my eyes closed. There isn’t anything special here” Aurore had enough, how dare she walk in here and disrespect her like this. The pigtailed girl was so close to being done.
“Chloé’s right”
“Rosina you can’t just say it like that!” Marinette was concerned, please don’t make her have to face off Stormy Weather again!
“No wait- I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry Aurore, I just think you can change it, that’s all” She frantically waved her hands around as Aurore blinked.
“Huh?”
“I just mean, Chloé is right that it does look like Alya’s, so maybe you can make different err- what's the word… Content yeah that. Make different content, like an analysis of Akuma, and their powers and weapons.” Marinette shot up, ideas filling her mind.
“Maybe you could interview the heroes about questions regarding Akuma’s? I know people would feel better having their queries answered.” Mireille then joined in.
“You could include tips on how to stay safe during an Akuma attack? That could be useful.”
“I-If you want a script to use, I could help with that?” Marc piped up.
“And since I’m feeling generous, I guess I could lend you some space to use for your videos. Anywhere else would be barbaric” Aurore would’ve glared at her, but she couldn’t make herself do that. They were all encouraging her to continue, to make it unique, to make it her own.
She smiled.
“Thanks, you guys. I’ll be sure to remember this. And you too Chloé” Said blonde smirked.
“What? Sorry I didn’t hear that” She became irritated.
“Chloé please stop teasing her, that’s not a very nice thing to do” Rosina grabbed onto her arm, trying to stop the inevitable argument.
“Ugh fine, it wasn’t any fun anyway” Now they felt shocked. Chloé willingly giving up her teasing? That was unheard of- maybe Rosina really was a good influence after all.
***
[This is great, love the special guests]
[Thanks so much for the advice!]
[Thank you, sweetie, I’m sharing this with everyone xxx]
Hundreds of comments like these appeared within minutes of her second video. Amazingly Ladybug had somehow heard of what Aurore wanted to do and brought Crisono along for the ride as well. Because it was a quiet night, they were able to gain so much information, and Aurore was able to stop fangirling and have a proper conversation with them. They got so many recordings done in a single night Aurore was able to go to sleep feeling peaceful.
Her second video consisted of self-defence demonstrated by Ladybug, it held a serious yet comedic approach as Ladybug demonstrated what would happen if someone, Akuma or not, attacked you using Crisono. Ladybug playing the hero while Crisono played the villain, and what a funny villain she was. It was a huge hit and the viewers wanted more, wanted to know more about Crisono.
Luckily her third video would consist of who exactly Crisono Tassa was? They knew she didn’t hold a Miraculous, so the mysteries surrounding her were endless.
She was so happy by the boost she couldn’t help her locking onto Rosina the minute she spotted her at school.
“Thank you thank you thank you! They love it, and Ladybug and Crisono came to help me. Rosina, you’re the best” Rosina could only pat the girl on her back as her limbs were constricted from moving.
“I didn’t do anything really. But I’m so glad you’re happy Aurore, I mean I know my acting wasn’t the best bu-”
“What?” Mireille asked, what acting was she talking about?
“In the v-” Marinette clamped a hand over the redhead's mouth.
“Well I think I heard the bell go, and you know how Mlle Bustier can be with tardiness so byeeee!” Once they were out of earshot of the three new friends Rosina had made Marinette gave a glare to Rosina.
“You can’t keep doing that?” Rosina tilted her head.
“Doing what?”
“Revealing your identity to people Rosina. It was fine with Marinette because she’s Ladybug, and there were circumstances with Chloé but you can’t do it with other people it can be really dangerous” Tikki came out lightly reprimand the girl, Tikki had long ago deemed Rosina safe to be around as well as hold a secret, and came to care for the girl just like Marinette, she only wanted to protect her.
“But it's fine, it doesn’t matter if people know it's me” She tried to reason. But the bluenette shook her head.
“Yes, it does Rosina. Your friends and family could get hurt if Hawkmoth ever finds out your identity. Please Rosy. Don’t reveal yourself to anyone else”
“But Mari, I only have you, Chloé, Kagami, Adrian, Chat, Aurore, Mireille and Marc as my friends” Marinette would’ve winced at the mention of the blonds but now wasn’t the time.
“Yes but-”
“Plus, I have no family, so he can’t use them to get to me”
.
.
.
“W-What?”
“I don’t have a family, I only have 8 people to protect, so that’s why I’ll strive to protect all of my friends.”
“B-But what about-”
Riiiiiiiiiiing
“Well class should be starting soon, c’mon Mari, we don’t want to be late ok” Before the bluenette could answer she was already being dragged off, she couldn’t stop her as the words went around in her head.
I don’t have a family
‘How can she say that so casually? And what about Franchezca, what about her?’
These questions whirled around the girl’s head so much she couldn’t pay that much attention to the lesson. Not like Bustier called on her. She was glad for that.
Maybe she could ask later?
***
“Rosina?”
“Yep,” A voice spoke, popping the ‘P’. They were walking around the city; they were meant to be meeting everyone as they had planned to all hang out later but Marinette was able to convince Rosina to go earlier. And Marinette felt it was a good enough time to ask Rosina what she meant beforehand.
“You said you don’t have any family to protect. But you also call Mlle Franchezca Aunt? So, if it’s not too much trouble, could you explain?” She stopped walking.
“I mean you only want- I mean, only if you want to. I don’t want to force you or anything” She really hoped she hadn’t offended her.
“Its fine Marinette, I just don’t know where to begin”
She placed her hand under her chin, looking to reminisce on something.
“Let’s see, how did Aunty say it again?”
~
In the middle of a desert, an older woman with a cane walked.
She was searching for that damn forth Trinklet and it was nowhere. But she needed to find it fast, if not then it would crack.
And she really didn’t want to spend any more time in this stupid desert than she had to.
But then she saw a glow.
‘Perfect’ She thought, making her way towards it, believing that would be the end of it.
But it was only the beginning.
As she came closer to the glow, she saw a bundle of blankets next to it. She was surprised about that discovery.
But that was nothing, because then she heard a cry.
“What the-?”
She rushed to the blanket, if it was what she thought it was then she had to move quickly.
And like she was able to predict… It was.
A baby.
“Who would leave a kid all the way out here?” Franchezca decided that she would try and find out who the baby belonged to. Of course, she wasn’t going to get attached to her.
No, of course not.
That would be absurd.
~
“She always blamed my smile was the reason she couldn’t give me up” Rosina had finished her story as Marinette stood there.
“So, you really don’t have any other family members?”
“Nope, I don’t know anyone related to me. And Aunty always told me to call her Aunty cause she didn’t want to be called Grandma.” She laughed as she remembered the embarrassed look she gave when the Silver-eyed girl said Grandma once.
“You were just… Left alone?”
“Yeah, she told me this poncho was the only thing I had on me. That’s why I wear it everywhere. But it's alright. Aunty took care of me for all that time, and then I got the chance to train to fight all the Trinklets in the world. It's great” She raised her arms in the air to exclaim she wasn’t even sad.
Swish.
“I didn’t know you wanted a hug, Mari?”
‘She doesn’t seem bothered at all; I want to feel sorry for her but… Should I?’
“You do have family”
“Mari I-” She was about to repeat herself but Marinette jumped to cut her off.
“You have me and Maman and Papa. We’re your family. All of our friends are family and your Aunt. That’s why you can’t reveal yourself to anyone” Rosina paused. She wasn’t expecting… That.
“Really?” It was barely audible but Marinette heard it. And it was so sincere.
“Yeah, so please promise me you’ll stop doing that”
“…Ok. But if I can’t transform in time you can’t blame me if anyone sees” She cheekily replied her usual self-returning.
“Fine, but that’s only if, ok?” She shot back; Rosina nodded before they continued on their walk. Apparently, there was someone she wanted Rosina to meet. All she knew was that he didn’t attend Collège Françoise Dupont.
***
“Rosina, this is Luka. Luka this is Rosina.” They had arrived at *Pont des Arts the meeting place Marinette had organised earlier, all of her friends arriving later gave Rosina enough time to get along with the newcomer, everyone else knew him, it was only fair if Rosina got some time too.
“Pleased to mee-”
“Wow, your hair looks so cool, were you born with it or did you dye it? Wait, are you by any chance related to Juleka? Wow you look so cool” She repeated as he stood back just a bit, he had predicted her melody to be calm and slightly childish, now it had just changed dramatically… He needed a moment to adjust.
“Sorry Luka, I should’ve warned you she was hyper.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it, it’s good to see you so happy, Rosina seems to have drowned out that melancholy you had” That caused Marinette to blush before she looked back at Rosina. They continued to have a small conversation, at least before everyone else arrived anyway, although it did surprise Marinette when Luka kept looking around and checking his watch, was he waiting for someone? Was he just biding time before leaving them? Was it going to be his girlfri-
“Hayo, Luka long time no see? It’s been like sooo long” A girl who looked like the same age as Luka approached the gang of 3. And she looked so pretty.
She had green hair that complimented her dark skin, her orange jacket looked of high quality and red trousers, was this who Luka was waiting for? Was this his gir-?
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“Noémie, it’s been a while, I should have asked before, but I was wondering if my friend could hang out with us?” Marinette was slightly put off, ever since the Lila situation she’s been ever so slightly apprehensive of new people, but she guessed since she’s a friend of Luka’s she would soon be a friend of hers.
“-Gasps- Luka is this the Marinette ya keep talking and gushing about? Oh, my life. She is the cutest little thing ever. Selfie child” Before Marinette could respond she’d already taken a selfie.
“You look even cuter on camera, oh stop ya gonna kill me smols” Noémie’s hand was then grabbed by someone else, it wasn’t forceful at all, but she did lookup.
“Hiya Miss, I just wanted to say that I love your green hairstyle, it looks super cool on you”
.
.
.
‘Is that a tear-’
“Oh my god these two smols are so like adorable, I’m officially adopting you two, my precious little babies.” Marinette would soon learn she would never be able to finish another thought around the green-haired girl. Ever again.
And adopting?
“Eheh no thanks, I have a Mother and one is more than enough” She tried to get out of the hold but couldn’t.
“What’s adopting?”
“I’ll… Tell you later” Mari sighed, this seemed to become a long day.
“I was going to tell you that she can be a bit extreme, but she beat me to it.” Luka sent an apologetic smile towards the two, more to the bluenette since Rosina seemed to be enjoying the affection. It wasn’t like Noémie was doing anything harmful, but he knew she could be a bit… Overbearing at times.
“Selfie time”
“But you just took one?”
“Like girl, ya can never have too many selfies with smols like ya. All these photos can stay online forever. All these memories we can have and keep and look back on is like sooooooo cool. Now say cheese!” her monologue was filled with so much passion for selfies Marinette was able to giggle.
Ok, she liked her, she seemed really quirky.
Whether it was luck or not the others arrived not too long after, unluckily Noémie tried to use that same trick on Chloé because she was apparently a fan of the Mayor’s Daughter…
Yeah, that didn’t turn out well.
But she got over it when they both started taking selfies.
To the extreme.
It was a selfie war at this point.
The 6 were put on edge, but they decided to stay with them, so it was their fault.
Although there was one thought a young blonde had since the day they met.
And it was starting to get to her. And considering they were at the mall anyway she could enact on her plan.
“Rosina let’s get you a new outfit. My treat” She had to try and slowly ease her into it. If not, it would sound mean, and she couldn’t possibly do that to the redhead.
But said redhead couldn’t reply before a new blonde nuisance had to but in.
“Why? What's the occasion Chloé, you wouldn’t happen to be buying more ‘gifts’ to keep your friends, would you? Or could it be that you simply don’t like Rosina’s fashion sense?” She wrapped her arms around the redhead, her new innocent friend who didn’t deserve to be tricked by anyone, even if she knew Chloé was trying to be better.
“Aurore” Mireille tried to ease the tension, but she knew it was to no avail.
“No, I just thought we could all go on a shopping spree. But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about fashion to begin with.” She shot back, two could play at that game and so far, she was winning.
“Chloé” Marinette was now trying to keep the piece as Luka squeezed her shoulder in support. He knew they were just teasing, and it was kinda fun to watch.
Marinette.exe has stopped working.
While everyone else was concerned over a passed out Marinette, Rosina started smiling. The two blondes grew confused before their hands were grabbed.
“Ok, let’s go shopping. I’ve never shopped for clothes before so let’s go” They were dragged off with a bouncing Noémie following as the others were preoccupied.
Chloé and Aurore both wanted to drag the girl off to separate stores but unfortunately, they found out if you start pulling on a person, it will eventually hurt. Marinette had to pry them off her before scolding the two, the others either laughing or taking photos, although I think you know who was taking photos, with the caption: new Mum of the group.
Rosina’s first pick from Chloé was a lovely white knee-length dress, black leggings and a light blue jacket. It seemed lovely before Aurore gave her own pick. A floral pattern navy blue dress with white leggings. Of course, the two bickered which one was better as Marinette gave her own pick. And she looked so cute.
A blue tank top with a matching skirt with a teal bodysuit underneath.
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“Wow, this is so stretchy, look look I can do the splits in these.” That earned her a clap as she excitedly bounced up and down. And Chloé couldn’t help the feeling of happiness in her gut. It never happened before with Sabrina or Adrien, was it because she wasn’t just bossing them around?
Yeah, that might be it.
“Hey, I could probably sew something onto it to make it stand out if you want?”
“Really? That would be so cool Mari, thank you bestie?” They hugged before Mireille and Marc chose a new outfit as well.
Did she deserve this? After everything she’s done? Did she really deserve this?
Did she-?
“Hey, your friends are trying to help you Chloé, you are included blondie, don’t screw it up” She nudged her shoulder gently.
Huh, she must’ve been able to tell what she was thinking?
But Chloé wasn’t about to admit that. Especially not to Aurore of all people.
“Whatever, I know I’m their best friend, something you could only dream of having” She gave a playful smirk back, they were starting to get along without even knowing it.
“Hayo guys, let’s take a selfie to mark the beginning of this beautiful like friendship with all of you smols. Hope we all hang out some more” Holding out a camera for the 8 people there, posing for the camera, Noémie planning to tag them all later.
“C’mon Chloé! I wanna buy you something too” they were all dragged off to continue their shopping spree. So many clothes were brought, including the ones that the blondes had chosen, Rosina really loved them as well.
They all ended up getting some really cool shades as well, as well as the fact Chloé was able to spot a jacket that had the words ice queen written on the back. She so had to get one for her and Marinette to wear at school for kicks.
Rosina got everyone a bracelet with some colourful charms on. She got one for 3 others, but they weren’t there. They all beamed with glee as the girl was tackled with a hug by them all.
Marinette felt as if she could finally relax around them. They didn’t just hang out with her to try and make a plan for how to get her together with Adrien, they didn’t just hang out with her to just talk about her crush on Adrien, they actually all just wanted to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Something she never got the chance to do before Lila came in… Not like she thought she’d be able to do, no doubt the topic would soon go towards Adrien eventually.
But she was able to take in the calm atmosphere around the group of 7.
She knew deep down in her heart that they would all soon be the best of friends.
***
The weekend had ended, and boy was a lot packed into that.
A lot.
Not only did everyone have tons of bags pack with new clothes and various items, but they also decided to dine out in Chloé’s hotel. Friends discount was applied here.
And amazingly Kagami was there along with her Mother. Rosina and Tomoe surprisingly had a conversation about fencing, Kagami was still apprehensive considering her Mother’s opinion about friends but it seemed to dissipate once Tomoe heard her Daughter laugh for the first time in a long time.
Tomoe also heard how fond Kagami was of Rosina after hearing about their fencing match, she wished to challenge Rosina to a match of her own to which Rosina happily agreed, much to everyone's surprise.
But they knew the girl could handle herself, 3 more so than the others but it was fine.
Also, remarkably, Rosina was able to convince Kagami and Tomoe to attend more get-togethers with the rest of the group. It might have something to do with Rosina speaking to her in Japanese and found Rosina to be a good influence.
So that’s how the group of 8 became 9.
The next day Rosina had finally started her contract with the Agreste’s. Rosina would start to be Adrien’s “bodyguard” at school, at fencing lessons as well as at photoshoots. On Sundays, she would be a language tutor for him as Saturdays would most likely be a day off, unplanned photoshoot or more piano lessons.
Adrien was ecstatic once this was all sorted. Finally, he wouldn’t be alone anymore, yeah, he wouldn’t be able to talk to Plagg as often, but as long as Plagg had his cheese he was sure he’d be alright. Besides, since Rosina was actually Crisono, he didn’t have to give a reason for his disappearances.
It did give him more of a reason why secret identities shouldn’t be so secret, but he knew he couldn’t reveal himself for his Lady and Master Fū.
The girls, however,
They were less than impressed with Rosina’s decision considering they told her they weren’t friends with Adrien anymore, but, it was Rosina’s choice and they couldn’t tell her not too.
Besides, it was who Rosina was. If she thought of Adrien as a friend, they couldn’t stop her, they may not like it but if they forced her to deny any interactions with him, they would be as bad as Lila.
So they had to learn to accept it and slowly, it didn’t faze them, sure they couldn’t hang out as much, but when you have a girl full of energy you find that they can and will spend as much time as possible with them.
So, when they arrived at school, they weren’t surprised to see Adrien hug Rosina.
“Thanks for agreeing Rosina” The latter nodded as they headed inside. Even if the blonde still hadn’t accepted it fully, the bluenette was there to help.
But then they heard something that made them both smirk.
“Alya are you alright, that new blog just skyrocketed up, it's halfway to the number of followers you have” Mylène seemed devastated but to that Alya waved her hand around, not the least bit interested.
“Oh please, that blog isn’t half as good as mine, where’s the pizazz? Its soo boring to look at I got tired after that first video.” Rose and Juleka didn’t look convinced.
“But her other videos are so much better. They even have that new hero no one knows about on it.” That perked the girl's interest.
“WHAT! How in the world did she get an interview with Crisono?” She soon watched that video and was furious to find Ladybug there as well.
“She’s even provided tips and other stuff with Akuma’s” Juleka joined in as Alya furiously search through the contents of the Let’sBugOut page. It somehow featured Ladybug in most of them, whether it was by video call or in person.
“So, she doesn’t accept interviews from me but from some amateur! How could she?” Alya didn’t know what she had done to receive the cold shoulder from Ladybug but she supposed that maybe she didn’t want her to be in any danger, that maybe if they stopped talking, Akuma’s wouldn’t be so interested to pick her as a target.
At least… That’s how Lila put it when she had come to the girl for help.
“Very easily, don’t you think? At least Aurore doesn’t pry about unnecessary details about Ladybug’s life. And she actually provides facts, something the LadyBlog is really missing.” Chloé retorted, returning to the desk at the back, everyone glaring at her she had become accustomed to it.
“Chloé how could you say that about Alya? Is this just because you aren’t Queen Bee anymore? And you're taking out your frustration on Alya. If you want, I could always ask Ladybug for advice on how you could improve and be a better person?” The girls swarmed around Lila appeared to be shocked while the other two were annoyed, how dare she sully Ladybug’s name!
“Girl there's no need to help someone like her, I know you're extremely kind, but you don’t need to extend it to the likes of her” Alya replied, that girl had a heart of gold.
“Are you sure, I wouldn’t want Chloé to become too upset at being rejected by Ladybug, I couldn’t imagine the shame she must be feeling now.” The duo was able to see that obvious jab made towards the blonde. How no one else could was a definite mystery?
Marinette paused, how Chloé decided to answer may decide on her future prospects of being a hero, what would she say?
“I wasn’t rejected by Ladybug, and how dare you lie about being friends with someone way out of your league.” The girls were quick to retort but Chloé paid them no mind.
“And I am still Queen Bee, in or out of costume. I don’t need it to define me. I’m more of a hero than you’ll ever be” She smirked at the last line before grabbing Rosina from Adrien, who was talking about schedules by the way, and promptly sitting down with Marinette. The blue-haired girl impressed by the blue-eyed girl's words. She didn’t spill the fact that technically she was still Queen Bee, just changed.
Chloé was learning.
She just wished the others would as well.
***
*Pont des Arts = A Pedestrian Bridge In Paris.
I hope you enjoy my new OC I put out. I just thought I wanted Luka to have more friends so here we go.
After making that outfit for Rosina I couldn’t stand it and knew I needed to change it, so I thought why not throw some Chloé sugar in there as I’m at it. Also, I think it’s reasonable for not everyone to believe or accept Chloé’s redemption since not everyone is so ready to forgive, right?
And with that, Rosina has kinda met all of the Marinette Protection Squad members (Minus Felix, he’s gonna be a special case)
1 more chapter till Piper, I really can’t wait for it, the next one will contain some unexpected salt towards a certain bluenette. Hope you’ll all enjoy it as much as me, I just think it’ll be great and clarify stuff.
Also, could someone help me with Rosina’s backstory? Or be willing to read and see if it's alright? Since she was found in a desert I was going to put her birthplace as Egypt, but with Franchezca travelling around she doesn’t really know anything about it, but later she learnt Arabic after her Aunt told her the story of how and where she was found.
Is that alright. I’m not offending anyone with that am I? do I need to change anything with that?
Sorry if it sounds stupid, I just want to make sure it's not insulting anyone.
Also, maybe some help with accents? Her first language was Spanish, but her favourite is Arabic, so what sort of accent would she have?
Anyway, I hope you liked this part can’t wait for the next it will be shorter, maybe haven’t planned it all out yet, but I hope that’s alright.
Note: Updated the pictures. Also, I keep updating Noemié’s design because of the artist in me, haha. hope you like hers.
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pertinax--loculos · 3 years
Text
Update
Gonna try a new thing. I've seen these weekly updates from other writeblrs and it appeals to me because I can blather about writing or lack of writing (if it's been one of Those weeks), I can also include anything else I want, and it's a manageable goal to have for a start.
Tentatively breaking it up into writing, reading OR watching, real life (if applicable), and possibly excerpt (again, if applicable).
So! (Warning: This is long. I seriously babble like nothing else.)
Currently Writing Absent That Night (tagged: WIP: ATN)
wordcount: no clue, it's all on my phone and I've been writing scenes I'd previously written snippets for, so it's a mash-up. (Which reminds me I need to back it all up at least onto my computer.)
Proud of the short summary I did for my pinned post, so repeating it here:
Agent Latrell has been chasing the thief known as Nox for more than three years; but when bodies start turning up at his crime scenes, he’s the only one who believes Nox isn’t responsible. Unfortunately, he’s also the only other suspect. In order to clear his name, he’s going to have to find the real killer; and the only way to do that is to team up with a criminal who, it turns out, he knows absolutely nothing about.
still love love LOVING this WIP. I've got pages and pages of notes, and it is probably getting a wee bit too complex with subplots and suspects etc, but I'm an overwriter anyway so if I end up with a 200k word draft then shrug. More to work with
dunno if I mentioned or just thought it was obvious because I know it so well, but it has an enemies/rivals-to-allies(lovers?) (sub?)plot. So I've been pulling out a lot of threads there
technically I'm up to about halfway between the catalyst and break into two. Definitely not hardcore plotting but I do have an idea of the beats I wanna follow in the back of my head
Nox is still a fucking mess. I should probably stop piling trauma onto him, poor guy
my favourite creation this week is Mark Gault, who is a secondary/minor character who is amazing in every way. He is both essentially a ruthless mercenary and the "I LOVE MY WIFE" guy. (I also keep calling him Grant, instead of Mark, because he's actually the father of a character who first appears in Phase Two of CASCADE. (!!!))
basically happy with how it's all going this week. Regular writing is getting the juices flowing and it's easier to come up with ideas even when I've only got a vague notion of what is supposed to happen in the scene.
guys i am such an overwriter this is ridiculous please send help this scene was supposed to be like 2.5k total and it's turned into 4-5 scenes and is like 10k long dear god--
Currently Reading Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater, book three of the Raven Cycle
I have not just jumped in at book three of a series, I have read the previous two.
in the last week.
I've read eleven books in the last five weeks, so that's... something.
they have all been thrillers except for this series. (And also Girl One, which despite being marketed as a thriller was definitively NOT a thriller. Which, yes, I should've guessed from the tag line, but I'm still mad about it.)
I am in love with the prose. It feels similar to mine, but Better, and I have been unconsciously mimicking it.
(which may be a problem when I finish it and am still writing ATN, but that is an issue for Future Pockets)
ngl I was not a fan of the way the first book ended. Not only did I have to reread the final line multiple times in order to even begin to grasp it, but I kinda think it's a dick move to end on a cliffhanger, even for an established author and clear indications this was gonna be a series
(but you bought the next book, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU??)
very very much enjoying the series, to be concise (ha!). Love the characters and it's all pretty tightly paced. The overarching series arc kiiinda maybe feels a bit slow/irrelevant, and some of the motivations annoy me, but I keep reminding myself it's YA in which the motivations are in character, so
not far into this one yet but so far so good
I wrote this earlier this week and since have begun thinking the series arc is becoming more relevant, but am reserving judgement. Reading slower with work and reading but still enjoying it all
Real Life
continues to be mostly a pain in the ass. Apps in for a second job, research on next year ongoing
update: may have the dream second job, basically waiting for confirmation (fingers crossed!)
one of my housemates is the literal devil, although even that is being quite kind to her. The nice one is moving out because of it. People keep asking how I've lived in this house for three years. I have no answer.
enjoying writing time in evenings and feeling mentally pretty good thanks to exercise
Excerpt Long, nearly 900 words, but a favourite of recent pieces and also something I coincidentally wrote today. Nox and Latrell's third meeting, when Latrell is still, uh... resistant to the idea of working with him:
"Why me?" Not at all the way Latrell had intended to phrase it, but he couldn't take it back. He continued, quickly, instead, jumbled thoughts pouring out of his mouth. "Surely that's the least you can give me. You come to me and ask me to fucking help you after you've made the last three months of my life living hell, you can at least fucking tell me why the fuck that is. You owe me that much. I'm not letting you fucking walk away until you fucking answer me that."
Nox was silent for a long moment. He ran a calculating gaze up and down Latrell, as if searching for something; it wasn't apparent whether or not he'd found it when he said, softly, "And if I don't?"
Latrell was abruptly very aware of the weight of the handcuffs in his back pocket. He would have to move quickly. There was every possibility Nox would see this coming, especially if he'd been arrested before. But Latrell was quietly confident. He inched his hand back, keeping it subtle, eyes on Nox's face.
"In that case," he said, as evenly as he could. His fingertips brushed warm metal. "Perhaps we should try something--"
Everything went white.
For a moment Latrell thought he'd somehow lost consciousness; that he'd underestimated Nox's affinity for violence, that the man had punched him or otherwise managed to incapacitate him without otherwise moving. Then it occurred to him that he was still thinking, which essentially took unconsciousness off the table, and he realised, vaguely, that it was an illusion.
It was very, very convincing.
The entire world was an endless expanse of emptiness. Utterly, absolutely white, a whiteness that could not and should not exist. Latrell was overcome by a sensation of falling, of plummeting into nothingness; he had to concentrate to feel his feet still on the ground, to know he was still upright. He had nothing to orient himself. There was no up, no down, no left or right. Just that endless expanse of a lack of colour. He was hanging in nothingness, or everything.
"You forget who you are dealing with, Agent."
Latrell swallowed down nausea. Nox's voice came from startlingly close, the sound of it somehow wrong, which objectively he knew came from the fact that his brain was convinced it should sound small and insubstantial in this endless void but it sounded normal because he was actually still standing in the alley. It was academic knowledge only. He still felt like he was tipping or falling or rising, weightless and disoriented. He had no voice, no ability to open his mouth.
Experimentally he tried to take a step. He couldn't lift his foot off the ground. Physically, he was sure he could -- he could still twitch his fingers, if he thought about it -- but his mind was convinced that there was nothing to step away from, nothing to step onto. Just nothing, nothing, nothing. A brightness that wasn't a light, a void constructed of the pieces between atoms.
Nox's voice came from his other side this time. "I have attempted to do this civilly, but there are other options."
It was a struggle to concentrate on his words, close as they were. Latrell tried to narrow his focus to only sound, tried to ignore the nothingness he was suspended in, tried to tell himself it was all an illusion. Just something Nox wanted him to see. The Orn, threaded through his eyes or brain or soul, acting upon Nox's orders.
It didn't help. He was still in freefall.
"Do not," Nox's voice came, a bare whisper in his ear, breath brushing Latrell's neck, "Presume to test me."
Abruptly the white disappeared. Latrell was back in the alley, trying to adjust to the change of light, trying to find where Nox had gone. Turning his head made the ground roil beneath him and he staggered, utterly disoriented.
Fingers closed around his forearm, steadying him, and Latrell looked up to find Nox inches away.
"Easy, Agent," he purred. His smile was more a baring of his teeth.
Latrell wrenched away from him, staggering until his back connected with a comfortingly solid wall. He was dizzy, brain still adjusting to reality, but he managed to straighten his spine and set his shoulders. He kept his hands in front of him. In Nox's view.
"Do we have an understanding?" Nox said, still silky and low.
"Screw you," Latrell said, voice faint and alien.
Nox's smirk sharpened. "I thought so. Lovely chat, Agent Latrell." He sauntered past where Latrell stayed pressed against the wall, hesitated at the corner of the alley. "Keep up the good work."
He stepped forward and disappeared from view.
Latrell's breath left him in a rush and he doubled over, bracing himself on his knees. His head still spun, the unpleasant sensation he'd come to expect from vertigo. The backs of his eyelids were painted with a stark blank white. Every time he blinked he was engulfed.
It was far beyond any illusion he'd ever experienced. It was approaching the type he'd only ever read about in scientific articles.
You forget who you are dealing with, Agent.
Perhaps he had. But this assault supplied more than a reminder.
It also provided a piece of the puzzle.
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lickingyellowpaint · 3 years
Text
Alright, because at least one anon was curious, here are some thoughts based on, admittedly, a very brief foray into the world of sales. I'll speak only to what made my gut instinct do a confused puppy head-tilt, and obviously this is opinion, from someone on tumblr, and therefore not the end-all, be-all of advice on this...
Red Flags of Possible Scam Employers and/or Services
1) The first red flag was that the company threw me into the internal chats - chock full of pep and others' successes - before I was actually physically at work and able to understand their utility. Perhaps it’s easier from a tech perspective to fling new employees into every digital system at once. And sure, there was useful information and good insight into how the company uses those chats - lots of newbies asking questions and getting relevant good answers whilst on the floor, which IS nice - and if you're like me and unfamiliar with the tech or apps being used, it's great practice.
For the most part, though, two of the main chats were just hyping up their salespeople as they met their goals. I suspect they want you to see how much money everyone's making, how they're meeting their goals, and make you want to succeed similarly. There was already a little too much constant enthusiasm bouncing around the place for my goth ass, but hey, can't say the culture was negative! Still somewhat a nefarious psychological move, though, imho. The intent is likely to boast, dazzle, entice, overwhelm and make you envious enough to be competitive, as much as it is to inspire and inform. Just a guess.
2) The second red flag was similar in nature. In a lot of the e-meeting training sessions, there was a LOT of time spent on praising the success of those present in video meetings, a LOT of time spent on explaining the tier system of salespeople, the incentives, the commission system, cool trips you can earn... and I get that, to a degree, okay, you have a job, you wanna know how much money you can really make. Fine!
But if as much or more time is spent on those types of things than the actual training on what you need to learn to do the job... hm. Hm! I suspect more headgaming. (And no, this wasn't an MLM targeting suburban moms to employ and get all their friends onboard. This is a big company with good stock and trusted affiliates.) Anyway, this is about when my gut started to do that quiet hrrrr-uff dogs do when they wanna bark but aren't sure about it yet.
3) Language and words are key. Obviously, most people are sharp enough to know that phrases like "no out-of-pocket upfront cost" is a codeword for We Can't Legally Say It's Free But Want You To Feel Like It Is, and means there'll be payment involved at some point. It's one thing to know that, and quite another to parrot the phrase at an elderly potential customer, or one whose grasp of English isn't quite perfect. Could you, in good conscience, do that for a commission and feel good about it? Turns out I couldn't.
And that's not necessarily indicative of a scam company altogether - sales is sales, and sales language has probably been a little deceptive by nature for as long as it's been around. But could you do that for a paycheck, while being new to the job, thus not being entirely sure what it's gonna cost that little old lady or that immigrant family down the line? Could you? You may not really know for sure until you hear yourself say it, and your gut starts barking in earnest, because you don't know what their next step - that you just convinced them to take - will be.
4) I didn't know, so I tried to find out. While my followers here know I was pretty diligent with my required training stuff, you can see from points 1 and 2 that those materials weren't really meaty and informative enough for me. I tried to seek further clarification not just on my tasks, but the next steps - could someone explain them to me better, in a way that assured me I wasn't pitching a scam? Could someone send me videos or content relevant to the next step in the process, just so I understand it better for my own edification and peace of mind?
Well... maybe they tried to. I was sent a link to a video of one of the next-step-in-the-process sales guys at work... only to be denied access to that video, and though I requested access, nothing in the system ever granted it to me. A glitch? Perhaps. But when I mentioned wanting access, wanting a few more questions answered until I felt right with things, most of what I heard was:
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that."
"Don't overcomplicate things for yourself."
"That's a little above your role. Keep things simple, say you don't know, and it'll add value to the expertise of the next-step sales guy!"
"We tend to save that for more advanced training, since not all of our new people have your emotional intelligence, and might not have as good a brain-to-mouth filter, and say more to the customer than they need to."
Well... I wasn't asking in order to answer a customer's questions, I was asking to answer mine. I won't speak to what I don't know to be true, and I won't sell what I'm not sure is legit, no matter how much I'm paid to do so. And that gut-dog? Now it's a pack of dogs, and at least one of them is starting to howl.
5) It's howling kind of loudly, actually, and my (delightful, friendly, funny) managers aren't helping me quiet it down. So if they can't answer my questions to my satisfaction, I have to seek answers elsewhere.
Arguably, obviously, I should have done this from the start, but - that's when I sought out customer reviews.
And I don't mean clicking Google Reviews and just reading those.
I mean spending most of an afternoon on a deep dive into the following search terms:
"[Company Name] reviews" "[CN] scam" "[CN] Better Business Bureau reviews" "[CN] reddit" "[CN] class action/lawsuit" "[CN] Yelp/any other well-known review site you can think of”/Twitter tag/FB search
You get the idea.
Now, of course some bad actors (rival companies, annoyed ex-employees) can write bad reviews to make the company look bad. Equally, anyone who felt like it could write good reviews to make the company look good. (I wasn't about to search every good reviewer's name in our email database to see if any matched up. But a couple did include words or phrases that might be included in customer-facing marketing and mission statements and thus parroted naturally, but were definitely included in internal training vids. Just a very slight few, but they popped out at me.) Another thing to keep in mind when wanting to take all reviews into account equally is that when people are happy with a product, they don't always remember to leave reviews, so most reviews are written by the vaguely-to-deeply dissatisfied to begin with, and may not be an accurate representation of what's really going on.
Let's be fair here. As a thought experiment, look up the reviews for a company/service/product you truly love, and see if the bad ones reflect a concern you can understand, or one you'd brush off, or one that just doesn't reflect your experience at all. What works for one person/locale/reason for another, might not for someone else, and that’s understandable.
Also ponder:
Out of, let's say, 200 reviews, how many would need to be positive to get you to buy something, especially if it was something you wanted? Would a lot of negative ones make you second-guess the product or service?
How would you gauge the seriousness of the problems presented in the negative ones?
Would a company responding to the bad reviews with apologies and customer service numbers, on that same forum where all could read their empathy and solutions, be enough to convince you that the company had handled the issue by the time you're reading them?
Ponder, ponder, ponder...
aaaand, moving on.
Let's say that out of 200 reviews from a plethora of sources, 40-50 are five-star happy with the company.
Another, eh, 30 or so are two- or three-star, because something went wrong, wrong enough to leave an iffy or downright bad taste in the reviewers' mouths.
The last 110-120? One-star reviews. With at least 10-20 of those saying they'd have left zero stars if the review forum allowed it.
Some of those one-stars may be several years old. Some may have since had their issue truly resolved, and never bothered to update their review or add to it. Some have issues that boil down to, "Okay, the customer clearly didn't understand the terms", or, "That's a crazy problem but I can't relate to caring about it because [insert personal preference/reason] here."
But if a whole load of those one-star reviews tend to speak up about the same types of problems, serious ones, ones you'd find bothersome or downright tragic, ones that would cost you money in some way or another, ones that make you further doubt the integrity of the company altogether, and many of them are as recent as the last few months...
Do I need to finish that sentence?
Hold up, BRB, I have to let the gut-dogs out, they're going absolutely batshit crazy. Must be a full moon!
Or just a disorganized, neglectful, or possibly purposely deceitful company.
The old saying says there’s a sucker born every minute.
Would your conscience be cool with being paid to be one, or to prey on them?
Advice:
My advice is pretty basic: before joining, signing, buying important things, do your diligent research and trust. your. gut.
I hope the above list of experiences helps guide you in doing both.
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yuna-dan · 4 years
Text
Comfort Drink
It’s been ages since I’ve written something for this fandom but I was super thrilled when I got this comission, it’s also my very fist comission!!! 
It got longer than the stablished “1550″ words, so I hope you don’t mind?
Thank @thealphabetmurders​ for this comission! And I hope you like it as much as I enjoy writting this.
--
Warning: Mention of violence. Swearing. Kinda Katara bashing but not on purpose, she’s doing her best.
Summary: Five Times Zuko went to a coffeeshop and didn't drink anything and one time he did."What are you doing here?” He asked, only to rethink his words, “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, spirits, it’s been…” “Five years.” Zuko ended the sentence for him
 if you wanna be added to the tag list please interact with this
Buy me a kofi?  | Masterpost |  Comission Info
--
1. 
“Sorry we’re closed.” Sokka said, without even looking at the person, closing the door with his keys. He wanted nothing more than to take a shower, get the coffee beans out of his apron and stayed up all night watching Netflix.
The man hasn’t moved, so Sokka guessed it was either a junkie, a jerk or someone homeless. He gasped in surprised when he turned around only to see him there.
Zuko was staring at him, his mismatched eyes seeing everything but his face, “Hi.”
Sokka cleaned his throat, “What are you doing here?” He asked, only to rethink his words, “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, spirits, it’s been…”
“Five years.” Zuko ended the sentence for him.
Sokka felt as if the air on his lungs was airbended out of them, five years since they graduated highschool, five years since he had seen the possible love of his life Zuko, and now they were here, outside his shitty job wearing a grey suit and his hair now was long.
He had so many things to say, but in the end he just said.
“Neat.”
Zuko chuckled and look away. For a moment he thought he was making a fool of himself, but then again, this was Zuko, his highschool sweetheart.
“It was nice seeing you again, Sokka.” He finally said, and bowed, the motherfucker had the audacity to bowed when they’ve known what their mouths taste like.
Then he left, leaving Sokka was once again with a lot of questions on the tip of his tongue.
Later, much later when he was texting Katara he brought it up.
What do you mean you see him?
Even on text he could read how mad his sister was, he texted with only one hand as he brushed his teeth with the other.
I was closing the coffeshop and he bumped into me, I think it was just coincidence.
He snorted when he saw his little sister’s response
It better be
Sokka hoped it wasn’t, but then again, life didn’t work like he wanted to.
2.
It wasn’t coincidence, or at least twice in the same month would be a very slim coincidence, but here was, the ex-heir of Ozai’s fortune standing in the line, wearing his peasant clothes.
He wanted to ask, what are you doing here? But it came out as a “Welcome to the White Lotus, what can I get for you, Zuko?
Zuko was nervous, at first glance it wasn’t obvious, but Sokka knew this guy, he noticed small things like the way his marred cheek was twitching or the way his left hand was doing small circles.
“It’s good I get here before you close…” Sokka smiled, because goddammit, Zuko was terrible at small talks but he was trying.
“Well, more coffee shops close after 10 p.m.” He replied, leaning against the counter. He was very glad today wasn’t so busy, “but tell me Jerkbender, what can I get for you?”
“A jasmine tea.”
And of course, Sokka already knew this, Zuko continuously expressed his hatred toward tea but Uncle Iroh had rubbed into him. Whenever Zuko was sad or missing home, his comfort drink was jasmine tea.
The nonbender bit his tongue, are you okay? he wanted to say, but it came out as a “Coming right out you, Zuko.”
Sokka entertain himself making the tea, and when he called Zuko’s name, nobody came.
It wasn’t the first time Zuko left unfinished something, and this time, it didn’t hurt that much.
He drank the tea, and the moist on his eyes was due to the steam, and nothing else.
That night he crashed into Toph and Suki apartment, because he missed his friends, not because he felt lonely. He decided on not telling the rest of the gaang he’s seen Zuko, but for some reason he guessed Toph already knew.
3.
The next time it happened, Sokka wasn’t even there.
It was Katara who told him what happened, with her smug face as if she was proud on what she did. Aang kept eyeing him, ready to break the possible fight.
So, according to his sister in went like this:
Zuko was sitting on a table, alone minding his own business when Katara went, and scared the shit out of him, “You have to order something for you to sit here.”
Aang later told Sokka that Zuko’s face was for a second of happiness, and then it turned out into a mixture of pout and sadness, “Katara, it’s good seeing you here.”
Katara narrated how she screamed at him, “I don’t want to see your pathetic face here, why you don’t run with your father?”
That’s when Sokka interrupted his sister, “You told him what?”
“To go back with his father.”
Which was low, because yes, what Zuko did in highschool was rude but that was a low blow, “You told the guy who’s dad burned his face, who spent a long time waiting for his approval and practically ruined his life to do what?”
Katara did look ashamed for a split second, but retorted anyways, “He abandoned you without an explanation.”
And of course Sokka knew, he was the one who spent almost three months laying on his bed wondering why he wasn’t enough for Zuko, why his boyfriend left him without even breaking up. “And? That’s my fight, Katara, not yours!”
She frowned, “He is not even here and no we’re fighting because of him.”
Sokka hit the table with his palms, out of frustration more than anger, “No Katara, we’re fighting because you shouldn’t fight my battles that took place over five years ago, because no matter how angry or mad you are, you never attack a person on battle wounds.”
He left in the middle of his shift and went directly to his apartment. He logically knew that Katara meant well, but it was all over the situation where she took a role that wasn’t hers.
It wasn’t until he came out of a hot steaming shower and grabbed his phone that he realized some things. He owned Yue a shift, since she covered his after he stormed out fuming.
And that he had three missed calls from Toph.
Without even thinking he dialed her number, hoping it was just her dramatic ways and not something important. For some reason he didn’t understand, it was always Toph the one who break bad news to him, so his reasons to be nervous were on point.
He heard three beeps on the other side of the line before the earthbender picked up her phone, and without missing a beat she said, “I was the one who told Zuko where you work, he needs to tell you something.”
So, her dramatic ways, apparently.
It took him a moment to understand what was happening, “What?”
He heard how Toph coughed on the other side, he guessed either Aang or Suki was with her forcing her to come out clean, “Yeah, I-Huh,” she cleaned her throat, “We’ve been talking for a couple of months, and he said he wanted to tell you what really happened five years ago, so I told him to man up and to do it.”
“Why?”
“Cuz you’re both assholes who have been suffering for five years?”
“No, I mean…” He laid on his bed, the wet towel still on his hair, “Why are you still talking to him?”
“He’s still my friend, and y’know, us rich disinherit kids stick with each other.” Sokka knew that for Toph, it still hurt how much their parents overprotection lingered on her, so he understood. Not in a direct way, of course not, but in a I was there when everything happened and I’m your friend way
“Oh.”
“Yeah, he’s still an idiot when it comes to communication though.”
“Yeah, he is.”
4.
Sokka definitely didn’t went to Zuko’s Instagram and Facebook, he was smarter than that.
Except he was smart, but he was still a man who loved gossip, so putting aside his mental health he purposely went to Zuko’s pages. He found four main important things.
A. Uncle Iroh was still around, and god did Sokka’s heart relaxed at that. That man was pure gold. Iroh posted a photo of himself and Zuko a month ago. They were both smiling, Iroh broadly as always and Zuko with a shy but genuine smile. Behind them there was a small house. B. There were photos (two of them) of a small child and a woman who looked like Azula, but older. C. He was still in contact with Mai and Ty Lee, which wasn’t relevant to be honest. D. He didn’t seem to have any relationship, and for some reason his heart did a small flip at that.
He was lost on his thoughts when he noticed his gloomy ex sitting on the sidewalk in front of the shop. Katara would say that what he did next was without thinking, but they were mad at each other right now, so her opinion didn’t count.
So he flipped the “Open/Close” sign and went to sit next to him.
“Gathering courage?” He asked as he sat down, grabbing his phone to pretend he was busy.
He heard the firebender laughing, “Kinda. You see, five years ago I made a mistake and I’ve been trying to talk to him, but apparently I’m still as socially awkward as I was five years ago…”
“You hair got longer.”
Zuko snorted, “I’m sorry, for real.”
Sokka wanted to say something but it got lost when he decided to kiss Zuko right there.
5.
Sokka decided that Zuko wasn’t ready to tell him everything, just the my mom wasn’t really death and when she came back Ozai tried to kill her, so we had to run away was enough for Sokka to stop and rethink everything. Even Katara, was ashamed when Zuko told them (again, not all the story).
Zuko was sitting on a small couch inside the coffeeshop, once again without ordering something, “You need to order something in order to sit here.” Sokka said, as a joke when his shift was over.
“Ozai died last year.” Zuko said instead and that took Sokka by surprise.
“That’s rough, buddy.” He found himself saying, and for some reason it was okay.
+1
Zuko was sitting on a chair near the counter, reading an essay on economics for his class. Sokka dropped a soft kiss on his hair, “Zuko I have a question for you.”
“Mmm?”
“You never order a thing, why?”
Zuko look up and stared into his eyes, “I don’t like giving you orders.”
Sokka burst into laughter, and decided to buy his boyfriend a jasmine tea, after all it was Zuko’s comfort drink.
---
Thank you so much for reading, yes I finished writing and editing this at 3:30 am, so points for effort, i guess? I won’t tag anyone but Roz cuz this is not my main fandom (for now) so I won’t spam y’all.
Thanks again for comissioning me!
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modestmuses-a · 4 years
Text
the positive & negative :    mun & muse  /  fill out & repost .
EKKO
MY MUSE IS :    canon  /  oc  /  au  /  slightly canon - divergent / fandomless / complicated 
i try to stay mostly close to ekko’s canon but i also have a fuckton of aus for him including some real self-indulgent bullshit that isn’t even on his verses page. if you want me to make a new au for ekko to fit him into a different skin line or something, i’ll probably do it tbh.
IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM ?    YES  /  NO / I DON’T KNOW 
IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM ?  YES /  NO  /  IDK
for better or worse. when “giants” first came out, i had more ekko smut on my dash than i ever cared to see.
IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM ? YES  /  NO  /  IDK
i can tell you what i think of ekko’s strength, and i can tell you that... it isn’t much. he’s not the most adept fighter in the series, and most of the time, he wins fights by cheesing them with time travel. in my thread with @uncaged-bloodhunter​ ekko would be DEAD four times over by now if not for the zero drive.
however, i haven’t seen much fandom opinion about his strength? i’m going to go out on a limb and say most people probably don’t find him very strong bc? i don’t see a lot of people saying that but. who knows.
ARE THEY UNDERRATED ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK
canon-wise, fandom-wise, and on this blog, ekko gets a lot of attention, which i’m not complaining about. he’s a fav.
WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY ? YES  /  NO  /  IDK
he is important around zaun, but considering he won’t LEAVE that place, i doubt we’ll see him achieve much relevance in the bigger overarching conflicts in the league universe anytime soon.
WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER ? YES /  NO  /  IDK
if league did have a main character, i’m sure he would never meet them unless they were from piltover or zaun lol
ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK
around piltover/zaun, all the academics are trying to get him to sit down with them, but overall? nah. if he went anywhere other than piltover or zaun, they would have no fucking idea who he was.
HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION ?    GOOD  /  BAD  /  NEUTRAL
pilties HATE him! click to find out why!
no, but in seriousness, around zaun, his reputation is quite good as one of the few decent souls in the city. but in piltover, he’s just another thuggish troublemaker on a spree of petty crimes, as if zaun doesn’t already have enough of those...
HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON ?
shrugs. i don’t actively think about adhering to canon with every thread i write, of course, but i do think i have a pretty good handle on his character so.
SELL YOUR MUSE !( try to list everything that makes your muse interesting to make them spicy for your mutuals ) 
he is a nice sweet boy who WILL adopt every single child and will go out of his way to help those in need. he also has plenty of spunk and a real get-up-and-go kind of personality, he’s not the kind of person who likes just “hanging around” so he’s a perfect companion for someone who likes to get out and adventure as long as you don’t go outside of piltover/zaun. he’s very loyal and will stick up for his friends, even when it would be more convenient to sell them out. and of course, he’s willing to call authority figures out on their bullshit and doesn’t sit back and passively watch injustices happen.
NOW THE OPPOSITE !(  list everything why your muse could not be so interesting . even if you may not agree. what does the fandom perhaps think ?  )
he’s got abandonment issues up to HERE, and because of that, he is c l i n g y. if he gets attached to you in any way, he will NOT let you go. he will NOT get over you. he will probably keep trying to worm his way back into your life for months or YEARS because he just doesn’t know how to deal with being left.
furthermore, he represses every negative emotion he has ever felt because he feels like his problems are trivial compared to other people’s so he bottles that shit right on up like cheap cough-syrup-tastin’ whiskey. he holds onto a LOT of resentment - at piltover, at the chembarons, at himself, at the world - and because he doesn’t allow himself to DO anything with said resentment, he’s a ticking time bomb (pun fully intended). i do have... timelines... where all that internalized hostility blows up in a really messy way. and by messy, i mean bloody.
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE ? 
around the time i first started getting into league, a bitch was going through it. we were pretty destitute and received an eviction notice, and i had to work my ass off to keep us from losing our apartment. it was a very depressing time for everyone involved. but then i found ekko, this boy who had even less than i did but made the most of it, who always found some way to make the day better. writing him became very cathartic for me because it allowed me to take something positive away from what was one of the worst years of my life.
WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING ? 
punk rock music, haha! especially that of billy talent. their whole dead silence album is pretty ekko, but they have a lot of bangers that remind me of him scattered across all their albums. we deserved punk rock ekko and instead we got fucking true damage because riot didn’t wanna get political, i guess. smh.
some more personal questions for the mun . give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters , which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not .
DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK                      
DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS ? YES /  NO  /  IDK
i kind of only address headcanons as they come up. very occasionally i will drop a few for a new muse just so that people get a better feel for who they are before writing them but... yeah written headcanons are pretty few and far between here. it’s really not even worth me having a headcanon banner lmao
DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES ?    YES  /  NO  /  IDK
i would like to, but writing my replies here kind of sucks up most of my time!
DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY ? YES /  NO  /  IDK
ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL ? YES  /  NO  /  IDK
too confident some might say, but those people would be silly fools
ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING ?   YES  /  NO  /  IDK  
ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON ?   YES /  NO  /  IDK
sometimes i get anxiety about stupid shit but i try and often fail to be secure
DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL ?
nope, i ain’t changing a thing. i’m the best ekko on this site, and you are free to disagree with that because everyone is entitled to their wrong opinion, but my askbox is closed to those kinds of complaints. :)
DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS , WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER ?
yeah, sure, although i understand why people don’t send them because i often draw blanks on what to send without somebody reblogging a headcanon meme or something. if you just reblog “send my character questions on anon!” i’m probably not gonna do it bc i have no idea what kinds of questions would even be relevant or helpful for you.
IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS , DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY
nah, everyone can do what they want. i usually won’t follow people if i don’t agree with their headcanons, but i’m not about to get all up in somebody’s business about it.
IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL , HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT ?
again, wrong opinion, but you’re allowed to have it and you’re also allowed to SMASH that unfollow button.
IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER , HOW DO YOU TAKE IT ?
who hates ekko of all people, first of all? but second of all, i don’t care. just don’t get in my dms about it ‘cause i’ll block you. i’m not really interested in somebody bashing one of my muses to my face.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS ?
shrugs. yeah, i guess. i usually leave other people’s grammatical errors alone as long as i can read their stuff.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN ?
yeah i think so. i try to be, anyway. i like to make ooc friendships bc i find it way more satisfying and easy to write with friends. although i sound a little bitchy in parts of this, it’s mostly jokes for exaggeration effects.
tagged by: @bikmui
tagging: @storiestotell (akutagawa), @bystcrdust, @dimensionaljumper (for eliza ‘cause i always send stuff for scribe lol)
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