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morgana-ren · 8 months

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i love angst, and i love your writing, but please, PLEASE, i beg you, could you write some hope of tav ever returning now that the imbecile, has realised the error of his ways 🥺😭 (either way, thank you so much, for all your astarion writtings, it has made me feel things, the angst is real and my masochistic heart loves it🥲)

First part of the story HERE

Common complaint I got on that one! So I fixed it just for y'all. This ending is much less sad and much more sappy, so here is the comfort you need after all that angst!

"Darling, will you smile for me? Just once more. Please--"

He feels her cheeks in his palms, the soft skin against his battle-hardened callouses. Desperation cradles his unbeating heart, and for a moment, the emotion is far too much. A searing flame after centuries of frost. A bonfire in a blizzard. It hurts-- it burns--

"My love, I just need you to--"

"Anything my lord, anything at all for you. Simply command me and I will do anything you ask."

"No, I can't-- I-- I won't do it. I won't. I won't!"

"My lord?"

Her head cocks, turning slowly to look upon him, but her eyes-- they are empty; beetle-black and hollow. Her smile is uncanny as a painted doll, her movements disjointed and inhuman. Her teeth are stained crimson with blood, dripping, dripping, ever dripping down, never swallowed, only pooling.

She is light as a feather as she slips away from him, her skin marbling into a sickly gray before ash spreads across her body as a disease, smearing her form into nothingness. Only her face is left untouched, pretty as porcelain, unflinching and unfalling save a small crack that splinters down from her forehead down to her eyes, revealing inky black abyss beneath.

"My lord-- Oh, my tender, vicious lord. I can feel your anguish-- your hunger. Devour me to be whole once more--"

Her blood smells of rot and she--

She is too far gone to save. Too far gone to ever be saved.

"I won't!"

Whirlwind. Pain. Confusion and dread and seeping anguish. A maelstrom of rage and all-consuming despair swelling from within his soul—

—his soul?

The world around him falls away, a wicked tornado thrashing him about, his mind howling in the eternal winds--

And suddenly he is in a chair.

Not a throne. A chair— and a rather uncomfortable one at that.

"What in the hells—"

His vision spins, nausea curling his gut into a wicked tide of sickness barely restrained by his teeth. He tastes stale blood crawling up his throat, threatening to overturn onto the faded rug beneath him.

"Did you see what you wished for, little spawn?"

The voice takes him by surprise. It is not hers, but another, less familiar voice. The wailing animal in his head retreats to a dull roar as his memory creeps back. A brightly colored tent assaults his vision, piecemeal rugs and odd, foreign trinkets abound on makeshift shelves, and before him sits a strange old woman, hood pulled heavy over her straggling gray hair.

"I-- What was that?"

He sees her cracked, aging lips upturn, gnarled hands placed protectively over a strange orb on the table touching his knees. "I have shown you your future, vampling. Was it to your liking?" Panic rises within his stomach again, and though he does not breathe, he clutches his chest. The smell of incense clogs his nostrils and again, the wave of sick threatens to spill forth. Wretched taste of metallic, aged blood sits heavy on his tongue, all sensation too much-- all of it too much.

"No-- No, that cannot be it!"

"This is your path, Pale Elf. The road you walk. The power you seek is well within your grasp, but as I told you before, it will cost you everything."

He vehemently shakes his head, denying it. Denying it before her and all the Gods.

"You told me upon entry that no price was too great for your reward. Do you still agree with this sentiment?"

"No! Not-- not her. Not her. Not that! I couldn't--"

"You can and you shall, sure as the moon follows the sun. You will have everything you ever wanted, but cost of this ritual is plain before you. You cared not for the many souls left to your mercy that are crushed beneath your tyrannical fist in your ascension, but what of the sole one that resides in your heart?"

Her. The light of his life. The air he breathes. The sun on his frigid flesh, the warmth that melts his icy heart.

"No," He hisses, trying to stand, but ultimately unable to muster the strength. "I won't! There-- There must be another way. Show me!"

"There is no other way," She says, solemnly. "It is inevitable."

He swallows down the information like a boulder lodged in his gullet. Her words echo endlessly in his mind, bouncing off the walls and lodging shards of ice directly in his soul.

"What if I-- What if I don't ascend? Tell me, what if I don't?"

She smiles again, teeth flashing through her thin lips. "That is another path, little elf." "I need to know. I-- I need certainty. I won't do this to her, but I--" He pauses, grappling with everything in his mind, desperately flitting about to absorb it all. "If I am going to forgo this, I need to be certain. I need to know that I can protect her, that she will be safe--"

But the woman simply shakes her head.

"Everyone must choose. For some, the path is dark, but for you, you see more than most will ever have the comfort of knowing. I can offer you nothing more. Should you initiate the Rite, you know this will come to pass. I can tell you nothing more if you choose to not. The future is yet unwritten, and the quill resides in your hands." "Then why can I not have both!" He slams a fist on the table, clawing at the soft wood. For the first time in ages, tears prick at his pale lashes and frustration wells a knot in his throat. "Why--" "Because one path is wholly your own, while the other is a tangled web, such is the nature of deals with the Hells. You will get everything you ever wanted and lose everything that made it worth having."

His head slumps, defeated and miserable. Silvery tears slide down the curves of his cheeks, even as he attempts to bite them back. He thought he would find comfort in knowing the future, but all it has given him is utter horror.

"Despair not," She continues. "Yes, you will wither under the sun, an eternally cursed dweller of the night, but all is not lost, is it? The one you love, will she stray from your side?" "I wanted her to have better than that," He sniffles, needling his lip with a fang. "I cannot brave the sun, but her-- She deserves better than that-- better than me."

"And what of what she feels?"

His brows furrow, and he peers up at the woman from tear-beaded lashes.

"You are a night walker; it is in your nature to be selfish. But love is not selfish, little vampling. You must fight your nature, your inherent self-loathing, or your love will always find the fire. What of what she desires?"

"She loves me," He says with absolute certainty. "And I--" "Do you love her?"

"Yes," He hisses, almost insulted that she would ask. "More than anything. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Then the rest matters naught. If you love her, you will allow her the agency to choose-- something you deny her as an ascendent. You must grow past your own follies. To love is to be vulnerable, and you must allow both yourself and her this freedom."

They are hard words to swallow, and yet, he feels the truth resound in them. She would not leave his side, even as he tried to force her to understand. Even as an instrument of his manipulation and schemes came to light, she stood steadfast with him, hand entwined in his, ready to face the fire together.

"I-- I need to know she will be safe."

Again, the woman shakes her head. "You cannot. You must fight fate if you wish to overturn it. You face dire odds, though throwing the dice in your favor now will doom you later should this outcome be the confirmation of your fears."

He sighs, face crinkling as he sniffs once more, summoning the willpower to swallow down the agony of his choice. He finds the strength in his legs to push himself upward from the chair, weak and shaking as a newborn fawn as he does so. "I will do whatever I need to. Anything."

"Then you may yet see this through."

He can hear the fanfare of the circus outside, the bawdy bards strumming away on their lutes and banging on drums, the elated screams of the children and their parents. Facing the light now seems impossible, but he must find his way home to her-- he has to be with her now now now--

"The coin first, boy."

He snaps out of his delirium only long enough to fish his hands into one of his pockets, bringing out a coin. Aged and neglected, the sinister engraving of a skull peers up at him from his palm, ruby eyes gleaming in the light as he tosses it into the woman's knobbily-jointed hands.

"Best of luck to you, night-child," She tucks it away. "We may yet meet again." "No offense, but I hope not."

"Me too, Little Star."

He pays little mind to the bustling streets and bursting taverns of Baldur's Gate, his feet carrying him back to camp as swiftly as his body will allow. It takes him until sundown even as he damn near jobs, ripping through the tree line and into the ruins with the intensity of a man starved.

"Astarion!" Karlach greets him, trying to wave him over. "I've got a bet with Gale about--" "Where is she?" Astarion immediately cuts her off, looking around frantically.

"Who?" Karlach raises a brow.

"Who else?" Wyll crosses his arms, looking intrigued at Astarion's intensity.

"Oh! In her tent, I think. Why? Gotcha a special something' in town for her, eh?" Karlach tries to rib at him, but he pushes past her without a second glance.

"Bet it's a fancy new dress he needs to tear off of her immediately," Karlach rolls her eyes before returning to her business.

He bursts into her tent to find her hunched over a book, tongue poking from between her teeth, as she scans over the page. This only lasts a few seconds before he scrambles onto the bed, squeezing her as tightly as he can manage, burying his nose into her hair, tears brimming in his eyes once more.

"Woah, hey!" She laughs, carefully setting her book aside, trying to discern what in the hells he is mumbling endlessly into her neck.

Need you-- need you-- love you-- can't lose you-- don't ever--

She hushes him, realizing something has gone terribly, terribly wrong, kissing his head and tugging him close. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She tries to cup his cheeks and bring his face up but he adamantly refuses, hard-swallowing the urge to bawl into her shoulder with every ounce of willpower he has. All he can manage is to cling to her, half sobbing, visions of that terrible future swimming in his head. He cannot let it come to pass, he will not--

And she holds him, cradling him in her arms, hushing him gently. Her face creases with worry, running her hands through his silvery hair as he pulls him into her lap.

"Little Star, what's wrong? You seem so upset. What can I do to make you happy, my love?"

"Is it done?" Ulma leans down as she enters the tent, carefully dodging the intricate tassels of the blanket strewn over the entryway.

"It is," The strange old woman replies, still rubbing the coin with her worn thumb.

"And?"

"I showed him nothing but truth," She says quietly. "I did not manipulate his vision. Only channeled it."

"That tells me nothing. I need to know if our children are safe."

"I cannot tell you this, Ulma. You know of the ways of our tribe; our relationship with these magics." Ulma's lips purse, her exasperation evident in her humorless expression. "I need to know--"

"His reaction was genuine. That was not my doing. He knows the price of power. I cannot tell you if he will pay it regardless," The old woman's head lifts, a slight mischievous smile playing on her lips. "But I can tell you what I think."

"And what do you think?"

"I have seen his soul-- the heart of it. I believe you will see our children yet. He will spare our heart to spare his own in kind. It beats in that woman," Her eyes twinkle in the low candlelight, a genuine smile widening across her cheeks. "I believe he can find redemption yet."

#morgana and friends #astarion #astarion spoilers #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #heh that last one messed yall up huh #heres a fix for it #SUPER sappy FYI #SO ENJOY!#I don't usually write sap (or angst) so I am bad at this #sorry its bad fellas #I GENUINELY could not think of a way for him to fix him becoming her cazador so uh #have a retconn #call this a fast fixer upper lmao

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yatiso · 2 years

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been reading dracula all day and only just today, not including any of my priors, ive defined just as many words as i did in the entirety of frankenstein

#🍒#thats why its been taking me so long to get thru this one #i looooove looking words up its beautiful to me #but also strictly necessary like… how do ppl read books not knowing the definitions (n perhaps therefore the feels of) of words!!#and if u need to look it up once ur gonna need to look it up again likely! n writting things down is how i remember #just the act of writing makes me remember entirely better #oh g-d im doing the thing where i read in a style for awhile and then its the schema my brain forms words in -_-

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nyx-is-missing · 4 months

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Hi! Can I request a Clarissa × Fem!reader, where reader is spending a lot of time talking to someone from Athena's cabin and she gets jealous. you can decide what cabin reader is in :)

Jealous jealous girl

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (apollo's kid)

Summary: when the girl she likes is being friendly to someone, Clarisse might see red.

Warnings: no major fights actually, fluff (a bit) kissing (yes today no clickbait) medíocre writting and im sorry.

(I didn't review it, don't sue me, English isn't my native language, that's probably why it's mediocre, love ya

"Have you actually read that book? Oh my gods really? I felt like i was the only one who knew it"

Clarisse watched with red eyes as (Y/n) got excited and laughed togheter with some kid from Athena's cabin.

They werent exactly...togheter yet, but they WERE something, everyone was sure of that.

Clarisse mind couldnt comprehend then, how even though EVERYONE knew they had something, that particular girl would not back off of her.

(Y/n) laughed togheter with the girl at some book reference she had made, and the final straw for Clarisse was when the girl had the courage to touch her girl's knee.

Her sunshine?

The disrespect, was she not seeing Clarrise looking at them? Like 10 steps behind?

The.disrespect.

Oh that will end right now.

Walking over to the girls with a fake smile who people would perceive of normal happiness, however, if you did knew her, her eyes had a hint of red rage in them.

"Love? Would you come with me for a second yes?"

She took (Y/n) by the hands but before she could even get up the Athena kid made herself seen.

"Excuse me? Cant you see we're talking? So rude."

"Oh yes, excuse you really, i dont think a need a cue to talk to my girlfriend, now shut up before I make you eat that book for dinner."

Not waiting for any more words Clarisse took reader by the hand again.

"Clarisse that was not nice, she was my friend- dont even start to speak right now, we'll talk in my cabin, it must be empity right now, we dont need the camp seeing something they dont need"

Letting (Y/n) guide her, still holding her hand, Clarisse had a confused look on her face.

"But we are not going to fight, not today"

"Says who?"

They got inside the cabin and bingo, empity empity, all the Apollo kids must be doing its activities, or getting ready for dinner, as always.

"Me, Love. We wont fight, we'll talk."

Clarisse sat down at the bed she knew it was (y/n)'s waiting for her to do the same.

Choosing to stand, she had a blank look on her face.

"You said we would talk, talk to me, why be mean to my friend clari?"

"Because im jealous. Im not made of steel, love, i cant see a girl from a rival cabin flirting with my sunshine and go around skipping like a kid, you know me"

"We were not flirting clari, she is my friend!"

"YOU were not flirting, she wants to be more than that"

Clarisse corrected

"And you have a right to do something about it since when? Everytime you talk about me to your friends im a friend too, but suddently when its convenient i turn into your girlfriend? Oh please"

Clarisse looked at her, and extended her hands to grab (y/n) hands, when they finally touched Clarisse got (y/n) to get closer and closer to her, now she was standing in between Clarisse's legs and had to look down to see her.

"I never said i was right love, im sorry for hurting you, i swear.....i was insecure about that, im so sorry really..."

"Clari you dont needed to-"

"Date me"

Clarisse interrupted her mid speech.

"What?"

"Date me, let me introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend, i wont make you hurt anymore, date me....-"

Please

That was the word missing, would it make clarisse apear as desperate if she used it?

Fuck it, she was inside the Apollo cabin, that gave her enough poetic justice to be as luvestruck as she could

She found herself resting her hands on (y/n) hips, looking up to her with heart eyes.

"Please... date me"

"Say something, please"

Whoever first said that acts spoke words was very much right, because the kiss Clarisse received was nothing short of a love letter.

Clarisse felt hands on her cheek and neck, caressing her.

The kiss was slow and carefull at first, like the first time they kissed, so very sweet, until it wasn't.

When the kiss deepened, Clarisse's hands sunk more onto (y/n) hips, and then started to pull her down, to sit on her lap.

It was the very first time both felt like this, the absolute need to just become a fusion, hug so tightly a loved one that they would just morph into one.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you"

Clarisse said, breathing in her girlfriend's neck when they separated to breath.

When (y/n) was going to speak, she felt a small bite on her lower neck.

"Clarisse- ah"

"Sorry.."

Clarissed giggled before she went back kissing her mouth, when did she became one of the girls that giggled?

They heard the cabin door opening and then a

"Oh fuck sorry i just...ill come back later, and you (y/n) will tell me everything about later or ill change my name, bye lovebirds"

They looked at each other resisting the urge to laugh.

"Well i guess we wont need to introduce ourselfs to anybody, by tomorrow morning they'll know"

#fanfic #lesbian #clarisse pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue

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folkvangr-seidr · 3 months

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You're a bad idea.

Pairing: Cairo Sweet x Dom!Fem!Reader

Summary: Cairo is mesmerized by the new, mysterious student sharing a class with her.

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: cursing, steamy scene (no smut however) I think that's all?

a/n: i'm sorry if it feels a little rushed? i changed the ending almost four times. hope you enjoy!

You hated how everything was changing but still, you felt numb.

You moved to another state, you decided to focus on your writting and suddenly you became a mystery.

Or at least that's how Cairo saw you. And she loved a good mystery more than anything.

More so if the mystery was the new and gorgeous student sharing a class with her.

Yeah, maybe she was getting a little obsessed over someone she had only exchanged a few words with.

She knew very little about you. Your name. The amazing writer you were. The body she only saw once, when you crossed paths in the locker room, you having finished your training with the soccer team, she getting ready for her swimming lessons.

The way you seemed to try to blend in so no one would be able to notice you. But she did. How could she not?

So she found herself, once again, writting about you. The possibilities were endless.

Who were you? Why did you get here halfway through the course?

God, she needed some sleep.

_________

You were late to your first class but you couldn't care less. The creative writting lecturer was really annoying.

You didn't bother knocking on the door and just walked in, getting a few stares from other students AND, obviously, your professor.

"So you decided to finally show up? What an honor" he said.

You chose to ignore him, it was really early in the morning and you didn't have time for coffee before you left home so yes, you felt like shit.

You scanned the room looking for an empty seat somewhere you could just lay low until your eyes landed on Cairo Sweet.

Well, on the spot near her. You walked there and without another word you sat next to her and opened your laptop on your desk, ready to start writting while blocking out your teacher's voice.

You opened your most recent work, knowing full well you didn't have the energy nor the time to finish it right then but you thought you might as well give it a try.

You could feel the burning stare on the side of your head but you decided to ignore it and started typing instead, focusing on your work.

The minutes passed excruciatingly slow and you could feel yourself getting more and more annoyed at the fact that you were unable to focus on the poem you were writing.

"Trouble in paradise?" Cairo asked with a smirk, leaning closer so only you could hear.

You stared at her with no sign of emotion on your face and she felt like you could see clearly every thought she ever had.

"Mind your own bussiness" you retorted.

You saw dissapointment flash across her features before she returned her attention to the stupid lecture and for some reason all you could think about was her smirk, the small dimples on her cheeks and all those freckles.

Fuck, her face was like a sky full of stars.

You tried to focus on your work with little success when Cairo's face haunted your mind.

_________

Class ended and you were the first one to leave, almost as if you were in a rush so when Cairo saw you smoking against a wall near the parking lot she was pleasantly surprised and without thinking it twice, she approached you and snatched the cigarrete from your hand, allowing herself a long drag before looking up at you with that same smirk from before.

You looked at her. Really looked at her. She was gorgeous. Her tiny frame held herself with shameless wonder. You felt like some force was pulling you to her.

"What do you want from me?" you asked.

She laughed and you swear your heart skipped a few beats in that moment.

"That's a great question" she said mischievously "I'm still figuring that out"

Then she stepped closer to you and she placed the cigarrete back in your lips.

"Then find me when you do, Cairo" you said smirking back before turning around and leaving.

She felt confused, she thought she was getting somewhere but she felt like you were always running.

Cairo watched as you started your bike and drove away from the building.

You really needed that coffee now if you wanted to make it to practice later that day.

_________

You were distracted, which earned you a talk from the coach. You scoffed and left the field to sit on the bleachers, as he instructed you.

"Sit back there and cool down, don't want that temper on my team, kid" were his exact words.

You couldn't help it. You either felt numb or mad, there was no in-between.

You watched as the rest of the team finished some drifts and exercises and you joined them, the only answer to your move being a slightly nod from the coach.

Practice finished without further inconvinience but you always decided to run around the field while everybody went home.

You liked the solitude of it.

So you found yourself entering the locker room really late that day. You took off your shirt first thing and then looked around to find no other than Cairo Sweet, her wet hair falling around her shoulders. And she was definitely checking you out.

"Enjoying the view?" you asked raising one eyebrow at her.

"Mhmm" she muttered not looking away from your abs.

You stepped closer to her and that seemed to put her out of her trance and look straight to your face. She was blushing and biting her lower lip.

"I will ask again, Cairo. What do you want?" you took another step closer.

Her eyes darted back and forth between your eyes and you lips as she licked hers.

"I want you, Y/N" she said breathless.

And she sounded so sure of it.

Your eyes darkened as she leaned closer to you so she could trace her hand against your jaw.

"So pretty…" she said.

Something inside of you switched and in a swift movement you grabbed her hand above her head and guided her backwards until her back made contact with the locker behind her.

"Fuck" she whimpered.

You leaned so close that she could feel your breath against her mouth.

"That's what you want, Cairo? You want me to fuck you?" you demanded.

"Y-yes" she was breathing hard and you were enjoying every bit.

You released her hand and she placed it on your shoulder, tugging for you to get even closer, while your hand made its way to her collarbone, you traced it slowly and then you placed it on her throat, with just enough force to keep her head in place as you finally closed the gap and smashed your lips agains hers, kissing her hard.

You shivered when you felt her hand tracing down your torso, taking her time around your top to finally rest on your abs.

She moaned when your tongue traced her lower lip, asking for permission which she happily complied.

The sound of a door closing took you both out of your steamy make out session and you felt your body tense when you pulled apart.

"I have to go" you said "Didn't mean to start a fire" you added smirking at her.

And with that you grabbed your things and left her there, speechless and aching for you.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x female reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #cairo sweet #cairo sweet x reader #cairo sweet x female reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x female reader #wednesday addams x fem!reader

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eunoiaastralwings · 5 months

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Your Baby’s Weird but Amusing Obsession

featuring bucky x wife!reader with their son

fandom mcu- tfatws era ?

a/n dont ask me why i just did - it was too cute not to writ. reader is lowkey my oc - am sorry. . . and btw - you can NOT unconvince me Bucky will not name his son after himself - personal headcanon you can not undo that for me - HE SO WANTS HIS JAMES JR XD

warnings just fluff. just before you read just know am dyslexic

You were playing mat with yours and Bucky’s 2-month baby boy as Bucky came in.

His son immediately looks up at Bucky and chortles a few giggles – seeing his dad and 2-month-old baby holds up his tiny arms at Bucky.

Bucky’s face brightens up when he sees them – and his bright blue eyes soften.

He walks forward and kneels on one knee next to the play mat and carefully picks him up and places him in his arms – before leaning back against the couch while the 3 of them sat on the play mat.

You smile – your heart melting at the exchange.

They had named their son James Steven Barnes, after Bucky’s first name of James and of course Steve, or Cap’s name for his middle name– but you took the liberty of nicknaming your son Jay – while you were at it.

You laugh as just as immediately Bucky had picked up their son, his toothless gums were instantly on Bucky’s vibranium arm.

Jay had a strange obsession with his dad’s metal arm – for some reason or the other he just loved it.

Bucky glances at you – but since you offered no assistance – his eyes then drift back to his son chewing on his arm, brow furrowed in contemplation.

Jay chortles a few giggles at his dad – his saliva dripping having left a slobbery grip on his dad’s arm. You couldn't help but throw you head back and laugh.

Bucky looks a tad bit annoyed and tries to pry the baby off his vibranium arm.

“That's not food, son. It’s metal.”

He says.

You couldn’t help but snicker at the sight.

Bucky sighed and tries to pry off his baby’s slobbery grip – giving you a little scowl.

“Jay, c’mere. Let daddy have his arm back.”

Bucky says – as he tried and cooed a little to Jay.

Jay only chortles a few giggles – his bright blue eyes looking up at his dad as if he as content in this manner.

You couldn't help but snicker again as Jay refused to let go – the kid was too strong.

This happened every time, Bucky picked him up.

“Give me my arm back, Jay.”

Bucky says – this time, his tone of voice was a little sterner – but low not wanting to scare his baby, of course.

The baby only giggles and chortles – but still doesn’t let go.

“You’re son’s so weird!"

You giggled – now finally leaning to help get your 2-month son’s toothless gums off your husband’s metal arm – but Jay continued to leave a slobbery grip on his dad’s vibranium arm.

Bucky chuckles – despite his annoyance.

“He got that from his mother.”

He teases.

He then reaches down and attempts to pry Jay off his metal arm again.

You raised an eyebrow taking your hands away.

“Do you want my help or not?”

You smirked.

Bucky shakes his head – smiling.

“No, I’ve got this.”

He then tries again to pry your son off his arm – but still fails.

“Ok!”

You shrugged leaning back to watch as your 2-month son continued to leave his slobbery grip his dad’s metal arm.

“Jay, c’mon. Give back daddy’s arm.”

Bucky asks – sounding a little frustrated now.

“Jay, be nice.”

Bucky says.

The baby still doesn’t let go of his dad’s arm.

“C’mon, Jay.”

He says - trying once again to pry him off.

After a minute – you amusedly shakes your head.

“Hey, my baby, come here!”

You cooed softly holding out your hands to your little son – as you puckered your lips to kiss his cheek as you gently picked up your 2-month baby off Bucky.

Bucky laughs – watching the scene, shaking his head as he wipes off Jay’s saliva off his metal arm with a tissue.

“So, the kid will give me a hard time but listen to you?”

He puts his arm on your shoulder.

You smirked.

“I’m the favorite!”

You say – blowing raspberry kisses on Jay’s cheek.

The baby giggles and blows raspberries back.

“Yeah, I guess you are. Can’t blame the kid, though. You’re pretty great.”

Bucky says – smiling at his wife.

Once again – he puts his arm on your shoulder, hugging you to his side.

You giggled and cooed your little 2-month baby.

“Mama’s the best!”

You say.

Your baby stares at you for a moment – then chortles and giggles, blowing more raspberries at you.

“See?”

You smirk – turning to your husband.

"Yeah, I get it.”

Bucky sighs, rolling his eyes and chuckles

Jay blows more raspberries at you – and you respond by blowing more raspberries at him.

Bucky laughs.

“You two are adorable.”

He says – watching his little family.

@winterarmyy-too - if you're interested <3

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leascorner · 1 month

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j.s. | Welcome home

Summary: After a mission, Jake gets some well deserved break at home. However the week might not turn out how he had planned.

Pairing: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x childhood bff!f!reader

Warnings: Angst, mention of death and near death experience, mention of break-up, probably inexact american army facts, ever most likely inexact description of Texas, mention of food, two idiots in love, happy ending

Word Count: 9.2k

A/N: I've said it before, I will say it again. The only trope that I can write/read about Jake is a childhood/best friends to lovers, don't fight me. I also see Jake as an older brother to two half-sisters his mother had with a very good man, after his father abandonned them. This is my canon.

Anyway, this is way too long and way too chaotic but I just couldn't stop writting so enjoy!

Masterlist

Y/N was literally hopping up and down with impatience - or perhaps was it the three cups of coffees she had drunk to be able to keep up with the 2-hour-long drive to the airport in the middle of the night. She was standing on the arrival floors, on her tiptoes, trying to locate the person she was picking up. The flow of travellers coming through the arrival doors was continuous, so many blond heads coming through and none of them was his.

Her childhood best friend’s flight had landed a dozen of minutes prior; 3:28 a.m. was the time she received a “be right there, see you soon” text. Ever since then, the seconds had been going past very - very - slowly and with every second passing, Y/N chest had got narrower from anticipation to the point she felt like she couldn’t breathe. It hadn’t been more than a year and a half now that they had seen each other in the flesh. Of course, there were the texts, the emails and the FaceTime calls, but it was never the same.

“Jake!”

The sea of people in front of them seemed to split in half to let them collide in one another. The said Jake let his bag fall to his feet to catch a flying Y/N, lifting her from the ground as if she weighted nothing. Her hands found the back of his neck and her head found the crook of his neck, reuniting their bodies as if they were only one mind.

“Hey sweetheart,” he sniffed her hair, intoxicating himself from her perfume.

Jake let her down reluctantly when he realized they were in the way of other people reunions. After swinging his bag over his shoulder and dragging her near a row of seats, he finally took a good look at her, dark circles under puffy red eyes and hair all other the place. He dried her tears softly and kissed the top of her head, something he was sure he hadn’t done since they were in high school and that fucker of Chad had broken up her heart - thinking of it now, it seemed like it was a lifetime away. However, he knew that in this moment there was no sadness in her tears. She was crying probably a little happiness to seeing him again, but most certainly a lot of relief to have him alive in front of her.

He took another step back to have an even greater look at her. Y/N was exactly how he last saw her one year or so ago, and exactly how she looked like even all the other times he had to leave. She did not seem to age, and he was sure that the fine smile lines she was now wearing had always been there. It brought comfort to his heart to know that whatever would happen, she would always be waiting for him. He knew it was also selfish, but he had made peace with those thoughts a long time ago. These were moments that he was collecting in his mind for when he was somewhere overseas, fighting for his life.

“My my, did you grow up a few inches?”

“Oh, shut up!” Y/N laughed and tried to nudge him in the ribs. Jake easily grabbed her right elbow to bring her closer in another embrace, so very glad to be home, even only for a little while.

Ventilation was swinging litters of hot air into the car's cabin as it was a rather chilly night for October in Texas. The full moon was lighting up all the roads in front of them, just as if it was making sure they would get home safely.

During the drive, the main discussion turned around how excited everyone would be to have him there. Y/N and her parents were the only ones to know about Jake’s surprise visit; they had only known for about three days before his flight landed that he unexpectedly got a week of leave. They would surprise his family later that day for lunch - only after they both had a rather long nap to make up for the sleepless night.

Jake had seen his family a couple more times than Y/N this past year and a half. Even if he considered Y/N to be family, this wasn’t exactly the rule of the administration. Blood family had some more privileges, like sometimes visiting for the holidays. His mother and one of his little sisters also visited him in Singapore when he was stationed there for an exercise in the Taiwan Strait; they had booked a vacation to be able to see him there. Y/N, at that time, had been unavailable - she had her own life after all.

It was what Jake found the more difficult; to keep up with her life. Most of her friends were common friends from high school. With her going to a different university and later with her different jobs, some of her friends were total strangers to him. However, they all seemed to come and go into her life, leaving more or less damage.

“I am sorry about you and Nick.”

Y/N finished getting back to the right line of the highway and removing the blinker, before glancing quickly in Jake’s direction. He was looking at her, with an expression she couldn’t quite read, but that she understood as some kind of gladness. She sighed while turning her focus back on the road.

“You can lie better than that, Jake.”

“Well, didn’t like the guy so…”

It had been a couple of months now than her longtime boyfriend Nick and she had broken up. What confused Jake the most was how this was not a topic for discussion. She hadn’t called crying; she did not seem to be angry. She just announced it to him like it was nothing and directly switched subject. He hadn’t found a way to bring it back on the table, so he asked their friends and family. They all had the same answer; she was doing fine. She seemed to have continued her life just like nothing had happened.

“Was it him-”

“It was me,” Y/N cut him off quickly abruptly, leaving Jake with an uneasy feeling. She sighed again, probably realizing how harsh her tone had been. “This wasn’t working out anyway.”

Though she could not see him, Jake nodded back acknowledging her response. He still felt like there were more to it, but he understood that now wasn’t the time to discuss it. Ever since they had known each other - and it went back to kindergarten, they hadn’t had many secrets for one another. And if they had, it was never anything major.

So, he shook off this feeling and gently grabbed her hand resting on the gearshift to squeeze it softly.

“I do am sorry, though.”

“I know.”

It was nearly six in the morning when Y/N pulled up in her parents’ driveway.

The porch light was on, welcoming them, making sure Jake knew he was expected, and it made him smile fondly. It still felt surreal somehow; after everything, he was home. Getting out of the car, he breathed the fresh air of Texas like he hadn’t breathed in years.

Y/N was already opening her trunk, getting out a duffel bag that seemed to contain some clothes for today. Jake jogged toward her before she was able to get his own khaki bag out. She rolled her eyes, smiling, when he gently slapped her hands away to take care of it.

“Mom set up a spare bed in my room,” Y/N informed him while walking to the front door. “Just like the old days.”

And nothing in the house had changed either.

The hallway was still a drive along memories with all sorts of pictures hanged upon the wall. Y/N’s parents wedding portrait. Y/N’s baby pictures. Y/N on the day of the start of her first kindergarten year - just before they met each other. A couple more of first day of school pictures - this time with him in it as well. A couple of family vacation pictures. And along with them, a couple of pictures of events he wasn’t even there to attend. Y/N’s university graduation, her parents’ thirty-year anniversary celebration party, her first promotion celebration dinner…

The kitchen was still on the right, the living room on the left and straight ahead the stairs to the bedrooms. Y/N’s bedroom still had Justin Timberlake poster hung up on the walls along with some pictures of friends and family. The teddy bear he won for her at the funfair when they were not even ten stood on her bed. Jake swore that if he opened the dresser, he would still find the shelf that was for his stuff back then.

Without many words, both of them got ready for bed. Y/N took the en-suite bathroom first and when Jake got back in his sweatpants, she was already in bed, cuddling Mister B the teddy bear. His chuckle made her look up to him with sleepy eyes and quickly look away when she realized he didn’t wear a shirt. He kissed her on her forehead before tugging her more tightly in her sheets and turning off the bedside lamp.

“Do you remember when I couldn’t sleep unless someone was holding my hand?”

Jake only hummed in answer, and even in the darkness of her room, his hand found hers instinctively. Their fingers intertwining immediately, he did just as he had promised when he was only just a kid; he never let it go.

“Son,” Y/N’s father spoke from the other side of the kitchen, “don’t worry about it.”

Jake shook his head, smiling, before proceeding with what he was already doing: loading the cup he had used to drink coffee in the dishwasher. Ever since he had been up earlier that morning, Y/N’s parents had pampered him with all their attention while also being busy preparing lunch. Every time he asked if they needed help, they would assure him he just needed to stay put in his seat.

It had always been like this, for as long as he had remembered. Whenever he had gone over when Y/N and he were still in middle school, her parents had always taken good care of him, making sure the crust of his PB&J sandwiches were cut off, putting on his favourite beddings when they were having a sleepover, drying his clothes in the air dryer when they came home soaking wet from the park. He felt loved in a different way than he did at home, where he had a hard time adjusting to his new family dynamics with his two younger step-sitters. Growing up, they continued on listening to him and caring for him. Y/N’s father was the one he went to for advice before he enrolled. Ever since, and with the little time he had with them every time he came home, it still hit him in the face how much they loved him like he was their own son.

“Do you need help with anything?” He asked once more.

This time, they did not have time to answer. Y/N appeared on the doorstep, changed out of her pyjamas, hair still wet. “The shower is all yours, Jake.”

She watched him go as if she had to make sure he remembered the way to her room. She hadn’t really realized yet that he was really here, with them, and feared that he would just disappear at any minute or that she would just wake up from whatever dream she was having. Somehow this also seemed to be all too familiar, like a play they had rehearsed a hundred time before. It broke her heart a little to know this was most likely not going to happen again before a very long time, that it could actually never happen again.

Y/N got this thought out of her head as soon as it came. She didn’t need to think about this. Not now. Not ever. She just needed to enjoy whatever time she had with him at home.

“He looks good,” her mum stated once Jake had made it to the top of the stairs.

“Yeah, he does,” Y/N spoke softly, eyes lingering to where Jake had been only a couple of seconds before, suddenly wondering if he was really as good as they thought.

When Jake got back to the kitchen the entrance clock had just struck eleven. Only sixty minutes until he would be reunited with his family. It never felt more real, but he couldn’t quite realize it. He was so used of being far away from them, totally disconnected from their realities, hearing their news after everyone else. Yet, he had always found them as he had left them, eyes watering to see him home or gone.

He joined Y/N on the vegetable preparation. Washing, peeling, cutting kept him busy while the anticipation started to build up. All while Y/N’s father asked him about what new manoeuvres he had learned. Being an aviator himself, they could talk about flying for hours to Y/N’s greatest damn; she had the biggest fear of flying - and perhaps the fact that Jake nearly crashed them while flying an old aircraft he had restored with her father when they were teenagers had something to do with it.

“These boys,” Y/N’s mother sighed playfully as Jake and Y/F/N were debating whatever solar planes were the future of aviation. Y/N smiled as she shared a knowing look with her mother, who was getting ready to lay the table in the dining room.

“Mom, hold on,” Y/N called before reaching inside the cupboard next to her, “you are missing a plate.”

“Why? Is Mark coming after all?”

Y/M/N’s face went white in only a second as she realized what she had just said. Not knowing what to do else, Y/N handed her the white plate. Looking sideways to Jake, she hoped he hadn’t heard - she didn’t want him to find out like this, when his whole family was going to be here in the next thirty minutes.

It was already too late though; Jake’s attention had of course switched to their awkward interaction. Her father was quick to step in, wiping his hands on a cloth and moving towards his wife.

“Of course he is, darling. Let me help you bring those into the dining room.”

Y/N watched them disappear before quickly turning back to the carrots she was now cutting in a Julienne, praying Jake would just drop the subject. Ever since she had learned that Jake was having a leave, she had planned their reunion to be perfect. She had purposely lied to his family, pretending to have a very big news to share with them so they all agreed to gather even if the atmosphere was not good. She had made them promise to bury the hatchet, for “her” and most absolutely for Jack. Whatever touchy topics they would have to talk about, they could do it after.

“Why wouldn’t he come?” Jake still asked and, at that moment, she knew that whatever she would tell him would never be sufficient to not draw his suspicion any further. She couldn’t lie to him even if she tried.

“Just been busing with work lately, you know how it is.”

Without letting him time to ask more questions, Y/N went for the stoves to make sure the sauce was still reducing as it should have. She could feel Jake’s eyes burning holes on her back and could only hope he would drop the subject.

“Jake, son,” Y/F/N had just gotten back from the dining room, “would you mind giving me a hand with the roast?”

After taking a last look at Y/N, still very focused on stirring the sauce, Jake turned to her father. It wasn’t until she didn’t feel his eyes on her that she turned to look at him. She watched as her father made him took out the turkey so he could put some more butter on it. Out of the corner of his eye his father gives him a reassuring wink signalling her he had got this.

The bell rang at the exact same moment Y/N put the last plate of hors d’oeuvres at the centre of the table. Shooting a look across the piece, she saw her father squeezing Jake’s shoulder in what seemed to comfort him. She smiled shyly, trying to hide her own nervousness. Thanks to her father, Jake had nearly forgotten about the earlier incident about Mark and the reason he wouldn’t have been able to make it. He hadn’t asked any other questions, and they hadn’t given away other secrets. All was well in the best of all words, or so she still tried to convince herself. It was all that mattered.

“Just like we said, you both stay here, and we’ll bring them for you.”

Y/N watched as her parents disappeared in the hall. She turned to Jake who she now realized he was close at her side - she knew from the way his lips were set in a tight smile that he was somehow nervous. When noises started coming from the hall, Y/N grabbed Jake’s hand without thinking. She needed him to know she was there, that she would always be there, just like they promised when they were younger. It would take much more than a thousand of miles and a few hiccups to take them apart. As if he was thinking the exact same thing, Jake squeezed her hand back.

Jake’s step-dad was the first to enter the dining room. Y/N saw his eyes go from herself to Jake right next to her side, his eyes lighting up in realization. Yet, he didn’t say anything, holding a finger to his lips to let them know he would stay silent while moving further into the room as if nothing had happened. He and Jake had never been particularly close; he was a good man, a good husband, and a good father to his daughters, but Jake’s fatherly figure had always been Y/N’s father.

Next to enter the room was Jake’s youngest step-sister, Sophia. She immediately spotted him, letting out a cry and running into his arms. He crushed his sister in one of those same hugs he gave Y/N when she picked him up from the airport. It warmed her heart to see them like that. Sophia was still very young when Jake had enrolled; she was only just a kid and had grown up with the lack of his older brother. She was looking up to him so much that Y/N had sometimes to remind her that he didn’t have only qualities. He was her hero in so many ways…

Sophia’s reaction got the rest of the family - his mother, Olivia, his other step-sister, and his step-brother, Mark - in the dining room quite quickly. There were a lot of “Jake!” shouted from across the room and loads of tears, happy smiles, and hugs.

“I can’t believe he is here.” Sophia cried again; this time she was in Y/N’s arms. “And I can’t believe you lied to us.”

“Sorry not sorry,” Y/N smiled, tugging a string of her hair behind her ears before bringing her in an even closer hug if it was possible. She wasn’t sure she had seen her this happy in her life, she realized.

Y/N was an only child with a very little family. Over the years, Jake’s family had grown to be her own as well. As children first, as they were always all together at either one’s house or the others. As teenagers when his step-sisters weren’t babies anymore and they had started to be able to play more with them. She remembered helping his mom getting both of his sisters ready for school, all of them celebrating Christmas at her parents or going dress shopping for Olivia’s first prom.

Ever since Jake had been deployed on the West Coast and later overseas, they had grown even closer. There were brunches on Sundays, just the three of them, where Sophia would file them up on her latest dating adventures. There were lunches at Olivia’s office after they had taken a midday yoga class. There were breakfasts with Sophia before her classes began. Y/N had always made sure they were alright, as if she had to do it for Jake.

So far, the lunch had turned out great.

Jake had told them all about his last position and this group of pilots he had been joining overseas. Everyone had started feeding him bits and pieces of what had occurred ever since the last time he’s been home. Olivia and Mark had managed not to fight, which was a miracle in itself, per Y/N’s opinion. Jake’s mom had finally stopped crying. And Sophia seemed to have forgotten about those hard choices she would have to make once she graduated from college at the end of the year.

At least, that was the case until Jake asked about it.

“So, any thoughts yet about what you’ll do next year?”

“No, not really.”

Y/N had already seen that look on Sophia’s face. It was the same one she made when she was hesitating between an avocado toast and pancakes at the place they were used to going to brunch; every time she had been making this face, she had ended up with ordering both. Sophia eyed her tentatively and Y/N immediately shook her head no, silently pleading her not to do whatever she was thinking.

Today was not the day. Jake had only gotten back from abroad hours ago, they would have enough time to discuss it in the next couple of days.

“I am thinking of enrolling,” Sophia stated abruptly.

Boom.

The bomb had landed.

Y/N sighed, mentally cursing Sophia for needing whatever validation from him. They all had talked about this extensively for months on now. Decide to enrol was one thing, accept that one of your relative would do the same was another. She knew how Jake was; he didn’t look like it at first sight, but his family was his everything. He had made the selfish decision that could result in them losing him forever, yet he wouldn’t accept that she’d do the same.

From the deathly silence that came after Sophia’s statement, Y/N rested the cutlery on the side of her plate, bracing herself for whatever had to come. Her attitude made Jake immediately turned to her. She had never seen the wrinkle between his eyebrows this deep before. She didn’t know if it was from dread, disappointment, or anger.

“You knew?”

Jaw tight, Y/N didn’t answer, and Jake huffed - of course, she knew. How could she not? She was here, with his own family, when he was thousands of miles away fighting for his country. She was here, only a ride away, when he couldn’t even remember the last time he had enough telephone network to FaceTime them. She was there, physically with them, when he was just a ghost, present for a few days a year before disappearing for months on hand.

Y/N tried to reach out for his left arm to try and calm the whole situation down, but he moved ever so slightly she couldn’t touch him. The fire in Jake’s green eyes was incandescent. He was angry, with Sophia, with her, with everyone. And to know he didn’t even know half of it…

“Let’s not start now,” his older step-sister stepped in to try and reason him.

“Why?” Jake retorted immediately. “Wanna updates me on what is going on with Mark as well?”

Olivia opened her mouth to answer and as she couldn’t seem to find something to say, she then closed it and lowered her head. She and Mark had officially announced a few weeks before Jake returned that they were going to take some time apart. They had been married for nearly three years and they were having a rough path. They had started couple therapy, trying to make things work. Y/N couldn’t count the hours Olivia had spent on her couch, crying and eating ice-creams.

Y/N knew exactly how she felt like. The deception of thinking she had found the love of her life only to realize it was more complex than this. The sadness of loving someone and it still not being enough for the two of them to be happy. The paralyzing fear of being alone, of never being well enough.

She needed a shoulder to cry onto and a lot of love, and not to be reminded of what a failure she thought she was.

“I am sorry,” Sophia mumbled. Y/N wasn’t sure to whom she was apologizing. Jake? Them?

“You can’t seriously be thinking about it?” Jake half-shouted, pointing her finger at her like he was accusing her of the worst betrayal.

“Don’t say anything you’d regret, son.”

Y/N’s father word seemed to put some sense into him as he leaned his back against his chair, folding his arms against his chest. The distress on Sophia’s face was now palpable and she was on the verge of crying from Jake’s quite violent reaction. Though she didn’t expect Jake to be totally supportive, Y/N had not expected him to reject the idea that much either. She had thought that he would’ve still listen to her reasons, maybe try to talk her out of it, but finally make peace with the idea. Just like they had. Just like they all had when he was in her shoes.

Olivia had regained her composure and wrapped an arm around her sister’ shoulders. The look she sent Jake probably refrained him from attacking again his little sister. Instead, he chose another target for his anger.

“How can anybody be cool with this?”

Before Jake’s mom could speak, Y/N called him out. “Why could you do it and not her, Jake, huh?” She wants to be like you so bad, don’t you see?

“That’s not the same thing.”

Y/N huffed and rolled her eyes.

It made her even bitter. For all the things he hadn’t told her when he had no reason to hide it from her. For him being hurt that they didn’t want to discuss as such important topics over the phone. She would have liked to be sorry to hide all this from him, yet his reaction had only comfort her on her choice.

“You’re being unfair.”

“Am I now?” he laughed. “Excuse me for putting my life at sake and not wishing for me sister to do the same.”

“Did anybody ask you to? If anything, we would all have loved to keep you by our side.”

“Oh, I see. So, this is all my fault, right?”

The daring look he offered her made her heart jump in her chest. Her stomach was in fire; consuming her from the inside. She was tired from the sleepless nights she had for the last few months. And sad about the outcome of this lunch. And disappointed in him. And quite frankly done with his attitude.

Sighing, she gave in and looked away, throwing her napkin on her plate at the same time. Whatever this was, it was too much for her to handle. “If you’d excuse me,” she announced as she moved her chair back. “I am not hungry anymore.”

“Y/N-” he called after her, grabbing her arm to make her stay. She gave him a pained look before abruptly pulling away from his grip.

“Welcome home, Jake.”

Jake’s face appeared once again on her phone screen.

Big bright smile, sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, forehead sun-kissed by the first rays of sunshine of spring. The picture had been taken one of the few times she had fly out to California to visit him. They had such a good time that Y/N used to hold all those memories close to her heart. Now, she couldn’t even look at it.

She couldn’t count the number of texts Jake had sent nor the number of messages he had left on her voice mail. She hadn’t read nor listened to any of them and had even decided to turn off her phone at some point during the night. She needed some time alone to take a breath and to swallow the disappointment that was forming a lump in her throat.

Despite the emotional roller coaster this day had been, she hadn't fallen asleep until late in the night, turning over in the sheet nonstop while thinking of all the comebacks she could have said to his face. And like every other night for months now, when she had finally managed to get some sleep, her worst nightmare had woken her up a couple of hours later.

It only made her feel worse and she cried all the tears in her body. It was like whatever emotion she had retained in the last year had come back to her like a wrecking ball. She was angry for all sorts of reasons all linked to Jake one way or another. She was also very sad of the situation she found herself into, of Jake having spoiled their reunion, of the spectacle she had given in front of her loved ones.

So, when she turned on her phone a few hours later, eyes still puffy and red from the lack of sleep and the crying, she didn’t hesitate to turn down his call when his smiley face appeared on her phone screen. At that time, she discovered the multiple texts and missed calls of her parents and Jake’s sisters. She sent them a quick group message, letting them know she was fine and that she would catch up later. Leaving her phone on the kitchen counter, she got ready for her day.

Her phone rang four more times while she was getting ready. She was now determined to let him know to leave her alone. She was still pissed, and she needed to compose herself. This was without counting on the doorbell ringing when she was about to answer her phone.

Stopping whatever she was doing, she made the few steps from the kitchen counter to her apartment door, opening it without even thinking who she would find behind. Much to her surprise it was the only person she didn’t want to see. Jake. Standing there, phone in his hand.

“Oh, come on!” he exclaimed when she nearly shut the door in his face.

He stopped it before it was fully closed and after a deep sigh, Y/N let him in without even giving him a look. She closed the door behind him, passing him - still without looking at him - and went to the living room. She leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing her arms on her chest much like he had done during lunch just the day before.

Jake stood in the middle of the room, watching around him. It was the first time he was in her new place, the one she started rented after she broke up with her long-term boyfriend. It wasn’t much, only a one-bedroom apartment with a sanitized decor - she hadn’t had the heart to make it her own. It was close to her work and not a too long drive from her parents; it was all she really needed.

Y/N studied him in silence. He must not have had the memo about the Texas weather at that time of the year as he was only wearing a beige sweater, sleeves rolled up. It wasn’t much of a surprise he had forgotten how it was; he had spent so little time home in the last ten years.

When her eyes finally got to his face, she realized he was now staring at her. She tried reading him like she could before, but what she found in his eyes, she couldn’t interpret. Perhaps something had been broken between them. Perhaps there were only so much absence someone could handle. Perhaps they had let the miles come in between them for real this time.

She couldn’t tell how long they stayed like this before he finally spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Long gone was the hope she had that he would apologize.

Jake had never been one to be wrong; he was probably even the most stubborn person she had ever met. Though she liked this confidence in him, she also knew it was hiding something much deeper. His trauma of being abandoned by his father when he was still a toddler. The fear of his loved ones realizing what a failure he was, despite everything he had already accomplished. The fear of never being enough.

He had assured her it wasn’t one of the reasons he had enrolled, and she knew he was lying to her just as much he was lying to himself. But she wasn’t her twenty-something-self; she wasn’t going to protect his feelings anymore. Now that they didn’t have an audience, she could lay her cards on the table.

“Do you mean, just like you didn’t tell us about the ejection seat accident that you had six months ago?”

She saw his face drop ever so slightly before he regained his composure back. She wasn’t the only one keeping things from him, yet contrary to him, the things she was keeping a secret weren’t really hers anyway.

“How would you know?”

“Javy called me that time,” she stated dryly, memories of the call she got in the middle of the night flowing to her head. She still had nightmares about it most nights. “He wanted me to know in case your brain injury worsened, and they had to call your family.”

This secret, she had never told anyone and had carried the weight of it on her own until now. She had smiled and assured everyone that all was fine for the days - sixteen in total - they didn’t hear from him; how could he, he had been literally in a 24h surveillance at the hospital. She had had Javy on the phone to report every little detail he had of Jake’s evolution. She hadn’t had sleep for weeks straight and had nearly cried when Jake had called him after a very busy and unexpected mission he took part in - another way for putting he had just got cleared from the hospital.

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing, Jake! You got banned from flying for six weeks. Six fucking weeks!”

“And yet, it wasn’t the first time I ended up in the hospital, nor was it the last time. You know that’s part of the job.”

Y/N snorted.

Like hell she knew. The job description went with never being in the same time zone as your loved ones, missing every single milestone in their life, putting his very own safety at risk so they could all be free and safe, and omitting all details of the national security missions to which he was taking part. She was pretty sure though there was no line in his contract about lying about his health, especially when he could have died, to his family.

For some reason, this whole situation had made his absence even worse. She realized he didn’t feel safe to let them know when things had gone bad; if this time she had known, she couldn’t even imagine all those other times Javy hadn’t been there to inform her. It had awakened a visceral (and most likely also irrational) fear in her. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him and she still wasn’t ready to accept it.

“Why is this such a big deal when you knew what was going in here and didn’t even tell me?”

If she hadn’t been this tired, Y/N would have probably walked to him to slap him. How could he compare his near-death experience to his sisters’ decisions? How could any of it be equivalent?

“This was not my truth to tell,” she only replied blankly.

Yes, she wasn’t very proud of hiding things from Jake and lying on purpose. But she wasn’t thirteen any longer and when people confided in her - when she promised she wouldn’t tell him anything - she wasn’t going to go running to her best friend to spill all the tea.

“Will you then tell me the truth about what really happened between you and the other dickhead?”

“I already told you everything,” she answered dryly, a little bit too quickly for it not to be suspicious.

“I don’t believe you.”

Y/N knew from the sound of his voice it was pure provocation. He gave her the same daring look she had just seen the day before - the same consuming flame was in his eyes - and she could see his infamous smirk dawning on his lips. She wondered why he wanted to prove just how right he was - how he was always right - so bad. It made her skin scramble how infuriating he was.

She didn’t answer right away and stared at him, arms crossed on her chest a little bit tighter to protect herself. Everything that was happening was only making her angrier towards him. He had ruined everything, and he had just decided to continue on doing so.

She had dreamt about him coming home for months and months, to have him by her side and now, she could only wish for him to go away. The anger, the pain, the animosity; it was all too much. She couldn’t keep up anymore.

“What do you want me to tell you, huh? How much of a great boyfriend and man he was, but that it still wasn’t enough? How much a horrible person I am for not being able to fall in love with a person that would devote his own life to try and make me happy?”

Jake opened his mouth to respond, but closed it as the words sank in. It all made sense to him suddenly. Why she seemed to be relieved it was all over. Why she didn’t call him after he broke her heart. Why, on the rare occasion he had discussed the break-up with his sisters, they had never talked badly about her ex-boyfriend. He didn’t break her heart. He never did.

She was the one breaking his.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked, this time his voice much softer.

How could she? When it all started with his accident - that she wasn’t even supposed to know of. When it took her five years of a stable relationship to realize her longtime boyfriend had never have been the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. When it took her half of her adult life to understand she had been lying to herself for almost all her life and that even now, she didn’t know her truth from her lies any more.

Knowing the truth, Jake didn’t know what to say. He wanted to feel sorry, he wanted to tell her he was. But was he really? It would be lying to say he didn’t exult when he had heard of the break-up... On the day she introduced him to Nick, they he had discussed - quite vividly - about the country actions in Afghanistan - one of the campaigns he had just come home from - and from that day, Jake had just decided he wouldn’t like the man. He hadn’t been very subtle about disliking him, but in his opinion, Nick had paid him back in his own coin: monopolizing Y/N whenever Jake had her on the phone, making her choose between the two of them when he had had the opportunity to fly her oversea. He still felt nauseous to recall how Y/N had seemed to only look at him every time Nick was in the room with them.

He made a few steps in her direction, going to comfort her, but Y/N only shook her head. She wouldn’t let any of this go so easily. It wasn’t because she had confided in him, that he now knew all the truth from her part, that everything else would be forgotten. There were still a lot of unspoken truth to uncover.

“Why are you really here, Jake?”

“What do you mean?”

“The reason you got this leave, what is it?”

They stood less than a metre away, eyes in eyes. Jake never felt so vulnerable as every time she looked at him as if she could read his soul. He knew she was looking for something. Something he couldn’t give her.

Looking away, he answered, “It’s nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Y/N slipped away before he could even react. He watched as she turned back towards the front door. She opened it without a word and looked into his eyes as she stood leaned against it.

“Goodbye, Jake.”

And this time, he didn’t even try to fight.

Javy: Hey, got Hangman on the phone today. You okay?

Y/N: Did he vent at you for calling me that one time?

Javy: Almost.

Javy: He wasn’t really angry though. Just frustrated I guess.

Y/N: I bet. Wasn’t really the nice little break he must have planned.

Javy: If there is anything to learn from all this it is that truth is better spoken from the person they apply to.

Javy: You should talk to him.

Y/N: Yeah well I’ll see about that.

Jake was very nervous, and he wasn’t very nervous a lot.

In fact, he was pretty sure the last time he was that nervous was when he had picked Y/N up for their senior prom. Just like every year since starting high school, she had been his date - though Chad nearly had taken her away from him, but this dumbass had broken up with her only a couple of weeks before prom. That year, for some reason, everything felt different. High school years were coming to an end, they were both going to different universities. Everything was about to change, and it would never be the same. Jake had dreaded taking their relationship to the next level. If only he had known that despite going to different universities, Jake enrolling and basically the two of them living their life in parallel, their relationship had made it.

More or less so... It had been three days now since the lunch at her parents, two since their other discussion - if he would call this an argument, he was still unsure - and today was the first time he was seeing her since then.

After spending time with his family, he was on his way to meet with some of their childhood friends. Normally, Y/N was one of them and she had been invited. But with the recent events, he didn’t know if she would be here. He had had time to reflect on what had been said and finally had apologized to her voice mail as she wouldn’t let his calls through. He had given her plenty of time and space, sending in only a couple of good mornings and good nights texts, just like he was used to. Yet he didn’t know what to expect.

When he spotted her already sat at the table he had booked, his heart started pounding furiously. It gave him hope not everything between them had been broken.

“Hey,” Jake greeted Y/N softly when he had gotten at her level.

Y/N only nodded, barely looking at him, before continuing her discussion with their friend, Monica, like nothing had happened. Jake swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing to greet everyone around the table.

In all those diners they had had with their friends when he had been home, she would have been sat next to him, so close but merely touching. He would have had his arm resting nonchalantly on the back of her chair. He would have whispered all sorts of things in her ears, and she would have laughed open light-heartedly at every single one of his jokes.

That night, she was sat as far as possible from him and he had difficulty focusing on the group discussion, his mind going back to her every time. He probably went the whole evening looking at her not so subtly in the hope she would like to give him a look. She did not.

“You good?” Matt, sat at his side, asked him after the main course.

“Yeah,” Jake answered though the little tremor in his voice didn’t reflect confidence.

“Just give her a little time. It’s just a lot, y’know.”

Jake only nodded.

The problem was indeed just that: time. His flight back was in two days now and she was supposed to be his ride. He knew she would be able to drop him off without speaking a word, while he sat there in the agonizing silence. He was sure he was not able to do it for a couple of hours, he couldn’t imagine what it would be to not have her speak to him every again. He couldn’t get back to combat with Y/N still mad at him. He needed to fix things. He had been able to do it with his sisters; he had to do it with Y/N.

Indeed, the lunch had finished soon after Y/N’s dramatic departure. His sisters hadn’t spoken another word to him, and Y/N’s parents had tried to maintain some semblance of a conversation. Jake had taken a quick walk to clear his mind before going to his parents.

He had sat down with Olivia first and then Sophia, so they could tell him everything that had been going on. He sat there listening to what they had to say until they were done. There had been a lot of crying on their side (only a tiny little bit on his side - most likely because he had a dust in the eye, he would say). In the end, they had hugged and laughed and remembered that they loved each other and that nothing could be more important than that.

He had realized Olivia seemed much more at peace, somehow differently but also similarly to Y/N’s. She had so many plans on her side - buying a house, planning a trip to Europe, getting a puppy – as if she had just discovered she could be a unique person outside her marriage and she genuinely was happier.

The talk with Sophia had been a little bit more sensitive. The idea of her enrolling made his blood boiling, but he had remained calm – or at least tried to - and listened to her reasons. If he was afraid to see himself in her, her reasons were solely different than his. She didn’t want this only to do like him; it was more that he had paved the way for her. He had made her promise to think some more about it - at least, graduate from college before deciding anything - and he had promised to be supportive. He would have some work on himself, but he would cross that bridge when he’d get there.

They had of course talked about Y/N and how she was carrying the whole family on her shoulders. She always made sure everyone was alright, answering her phone at 3 a.m. to pick up Sophia from a frat party gone wild, welcoming Olivia in her tiny apartment - giving her the only bed to sleep on the couch, despite her protest - the time she turned things round after Mark and she had decided to take some time apart. She even made sure their mother was alright when his step-dad was away for business, bringing her homemade meals that she only had to heat up and keeping her company.

If he always knew what an amazingly caring person she was, it only proved him right. He would be forever grateful she was the first person to have talked to him on his first day of kindergarten. He would be forever grateful for the woman she was. If he was honest with himself, it all made him love her even more.

He wasn’t ready to watch her from afar - well, from much far away than his current position - but he would do it (or at least try), should she ask him to…

After what seemed to be an eternity, the evening finally came to an end.

Jake didn’t get the opportunity to speak to Y/N though he hesitated multiple times to just call her out or walk to her and demand that they had a chat. She was currently bidding goodbye to everyone in front of the restaurant, and Jake was watching her attentively to ambush her just as soon as she was finished. He didn’t care if he would be rude to anyone by not saying thank you for coming and goodbye; he needed to talk to her.

After she hugged Monica and promised to let her know when she got home safely, she reached for her car key in her bag and made her way to her car without even looking at him. Jake took his luck and followed her. He called after her, but she refused to acknowledge him.

“Can we not?”

“Why?” she turned around suddenly. “Want me to tell you anything else?”

“Y/N, please.”

She only raised an eyebrow before turning back and continuing walking. Too bad for her, Jake wasn’t one to give up this easily. He followed her lead up to her car that she started to unlock to get in. A wave of panic got through him as he could feel her slip away from his fingers and he didn’t want that. If they didn’t have this talk now, he was not sure they would have it at all.

“I only have two days left,” he said, interposing himself between the closed door and her. “Please.”

Y/N froze at only a few centimetres away from him. She seemed to think about what options she had. Unfortunately for her, there just wasn’t much as she couldn’t make Jake move even if she wanted to. So, she chose the reasonable choice. She crossed her arms over her chest and listened.

“I-” he sighed, passing a hand on his face, frustration clearly visible on his face now. “There has been an incident. We lost two men.”

Y/N’s arms immediately dropped to her side; the mask she wore on her face cracked. She could have been angry he lied to her, yet again, but this time, it was too serious. People died. The command had given them time off because of it. It only reminded her it could end at any time. She really could lose him.

“Jake,” she sighed.

“I-”

His voice broke and Y/N didn’t hesitate to go in for a hug. Out of habits, his arms found her waist and he buried his face in her hair. He breathed her perfume in, trying to ground himself and not totally lose it. She was his rock. There were no ways he would still be here if it wasn’t for her waiting for him at home.

He couldn’t lose her.

“I can only imagine the worry I cause you all,” he muttered in her hair. “I didn’t want to add anything to it.”

Y/N grabbed his face with both her hands and forced him to look at her. She wore a small frown on her eyebrows and determination in her eyes. While she was touched he wanted to spare their feelings, not knowing what was going on was even worse. She couldn’t count the number of times she had thought he was dead when an unknown number had called her phone. In order to support him the best way they could, they needed to know.

“Getting you back in one piece is our priority,” she started, voice bold as if she wanted him to engrave her words in his head. “That’s why we are keeping things to ourselves. We don’t want you to worry about us when you should be solely focused on staying alive.”

Jake half-smiled in return, which made Y/N relax a bit. Her hands fall on his shoulder as he kept her close to him, so close that there was no space between their two bodies. They had realized they wanted the exact same thing for one another: for them to be safe and sound.

“I worry about you all, all the time. I worry about you, all the time,” he confessed, his voice still low.

Jake reached out to tuck a loose string of hair behind her ear and Y/N instinctively leaned in his touch. It was like this between them, easy and pure. It always had. Sometimes - like these last past days, they were so caught up in life they seemed to forget what they had was so unique. Every time they had found their way back to each other.

“I left you alone while I am off, living my dream.”

“Don’t say it like you could have made any other choice, Jake.”

“I don’t regret it,” he answered right back. “Yet if I had to do it all over again, there are a lot of things about you that I would do a whole lot differently.”

Y/N nodded slowly, her heart rate slightly going up. If they often shared I-love-you’s more out of habits than anything else - though they were always genuine, Jake had never really expressed out loud how he felt about her, and from the electricity in the air - totally different from the explosive tension that had built up until now, she could feel there were more to it.

“It’s never too late, they say,” he smiled softly, his hand making it to the back of her neck.

Y/N hold her breath, searching in his eyes if he was being serious and if he was really wanting to finish the conversation they had started the night of their senior prom. If he wanted to do it right here, right now in a parking lot. It was a conversation that could have totally changed their life if they had it. A conversation for which they every so often imagined what they would have said if fear hadn’t stopped them.

If there were much younger back then, nothing now had changed at all.

“I’ve always been yours,” Y/N whispered. It would be lying if relief hadn’t wash over Jake. Of course he had known - he had always known - yet, hearing it was another thing.

“I know.”

Y/N’s bright eyes saw his eyes dove down to her lips, only a dozen of centimetres away she realized now, then back to her eyes. Her cheeks were burning up from the anticipation of what was to come. Yet, lost in each other’s eyes, none of them moved.

At that moment, the world could have stopped that they wouldn’t have noticed. Nothing else but them mattered.

“Well, kiss me then.”

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worldofkuro · 6 days

Text

Painted Smile

Painted Smile IX

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: You know what? I liked this chapter, I wasn't very sure about it at first but in the end, I enjoyed writting it. I hope you'll enjoy as well ! We are approaching the end of their teenage years~ How sad... but how exciting !

“ Do you think this is a good idea Alice?”

“ An incredible one !”

You were in your bedroom, having a girls night together. You were talking about the Chrismast’Eve’s soirée you had, gossiping together. Of course, you told her about what happened with Alastor when you had your first kiss and she couldn’t help but hug you while screaming delightedly with a lot of : I told you so !

But now, you wanted to prepare a surprise party for Alastor's birthday, you wanted to go somewhere else but you knew that Alastor would be reluctant about leaving his mother again. But once more, Alice came with an amazing idea. She had a little cottage an hour from here, she thought that you could all prepare a party for him a day before his birthday, and once midnight past you would give him his present ! Then in the morning, you would get back home and Alastor could celebrate his birthday with his mother.

You sighed as you looked at your ceiling. It would be a great idea. But there were many problems, first of all, you didn’t know any of Alastor’s friends, so it would be complicated to invite them. Second of all, you needed someone with a car so you could go to the cottage to prepare everything without Alastor noticing. And that would be impossible ! Alastor could read you like an opened book ! He would know you were hiding something…

“ But I can’t lie to him, even if I tried..” you sighed once again. Why was Alastor so observant ! While you needed to be focused on him to be able to see one single twitch from his expression, he could know what you were feeling with his eyes closed! How unfair that was… You would have to need help. “ Maybe I could ask Marie for help…?”

“ I know ! We’ll tell him you are sick because you stayed outside for too long! You have a very bad cold so he mustn't come to see you !”

You scoffed at her idea. When you were younger you got a really bad cold, which made you incapable of even standing up. Your parents were so worried that they asked for a doctor to come check on you. The man said that you needed some drugs and not to go outside until the fever settled down. Your parents mustn't stay too close to you in case you contaminate them. So guess how surprised you were when one night, you had opened your eyes and saw Alastor, wiping the sweat from your forehead. His hands were shaking but he was smiling down on you saying that everything would be okay, it was just a little cold. You needed to recover so you could play together once more. You really didn’t know if it was a hallucination or not but the next day, you woke up better and with Eamon in your arms.

“ He would try anything to come to see me. No matter the state I’m in.”

“ Even if you told him you don’t want him to come?”

“ He would know I’m lying…” you smiled as Alice was getting more and more frustrated. You both thought for hours. How could you fool Alastor? You knew he respected your privacy if you asked him… Oh wait! “ I could say I’m on my period ! And it hurts a lot so I want to be left alone!” You clapped your hands together with a big smile. The first time you had your period you were so afraid that your mother had to calm you down. When she explained to you what was happening and that you were now a woman and no longer a girl you couldn’t help but be proud.. for ten minutes, because after that you were hurting badly, you couldn’t stand up from your bed. It was a nightmare. And of course, when Alastor tried to come to see you you shouted at him that you wanted to be left alone. He was so confused but when his mother explained to him what menstruation was, he would sometimes just pass by and drop some sweets for you, never going inside your bedroom. Sometimes he would stay against your door if you were in the mood and talk about his day.

“ Really, do you think it would work?” Alice asked, seeming relieved that you finally have an idea for this surprise party to work. You nodded excitedly. Now it was show time ! You needed your mother to be part of the plan of course, but it should go smoothly ! “ Then, tomorrow we’ll need to make a team ! One who needs to find anything about Alastor’s friends, and the other needs to prepare the cottage with decoration !”

You were curious about Alastor’s friend, you wanted to know the person he hung out with. You bit your lips and asked Alice to let you stalk Alastor. If you were lucky, you would go unnoticed.

Let the plan begin !

~~~

“ Dear? Your mother told me you were in pain. Do you need anything ?” you heard Alastor’s voice through the door. You began to dress up in disguise, waiting for him to leave so you could follow him.

“ No, I’m just tired and sweaty.. I think I’ll just rest for today!” you waited for him to answer but there was a blank. Why wasn’t he responding ?

“ Is that so… Well, I’ll come back later tonight to see if you are feeling any better, take care.” you heard him slide something under your door and you couldn’t help but awned as you saw a chocolate bar. He knew you too well! You took it quietly as you heard his footsteps near the stairs. Perfect ! You put on your father’s clothes and his hat and you went toward your windows. You could do it. You just needed to jump off to the tree, grab the branches and climb it down. Easy… Your window wasn't on the road’s side but at the neighbor's house so Alastor shouldn’t be able to see you.

One…

Two…

You jumped and grabbed the branches between your hands. What were you doing, damn it! You climbed down the tree and hurried up to the street. Where was he? You looked on your right and saw Alastor walking down the street. You couldn't help but be excited! Today you were hunting for information about Alastor ! You walked at a reasonable distance from him, watching him rearranging his tie with the shop’s vitrines reflect. You tilted your head as you saw him being greeted by a lot of ladies who would giggled after Alastor flashed them his charming smile.

You had tailed him for hours, he would go into a library, read some books, then go to a coffee shop and get a black coffee. Nothing worthwhile. You sighed behind your journal. You were sitting on a table not too far from him, watching him but he was just enjoying himself, alone. You should just ask Marie for information, maybe it would be more useful. As you thought about leaving you saw a bunch of boys going toward Alastor, greeting him with laughter and smiles. You smiled, were they Alastor’s friends? You tried to listen to the conversation, which was surprisingly easy, they were very loud.

“ So Alastor, what’s good for you?” said a green eyed boy “ We haven’t seen you for a while, why don’t you come hunting with us? We hear there were great beasts in the bayou.” you could see Alastor's smile widened darkly. He took a sip of his coffee as he listened to the group of boys talking about hunting. Maybe Alastor was hunting with them instead of his father, it was a sweet thought. Now you just needed their names so you could bring them to the party !

Alastor talked with them, mostly laughing at them. But the group of boys did not seem to feel hurt by Alastor's comment, they were listening to him like he was the Messiah. Was that because they thought he was joking? Did people really not understand Alastor that much? You sighed, they couldn’t be Alastor’s friend, from what you knew, he could be using them for a greater purpose.

After a while, Alastor excused himself before leaving the coffee shop as his… guests, friends ? tried to coat him to stay with them. Alastor accepted a hunting session with them before leaving. Mhn.. You stood up and went toward the bunch of boys.

“ Excuse me, are you Alastor’s friends?” you waited for them to nod before continuing “ Would you like to be present for his birthday?”

“ Are you planning a birthday party? Of course we will come! You know what, we will share the news to his other friends, don’t worry, where will it happen ?” asked the blue eyed man. You gave them all the information before running off. Now, you need to go back home. You took a shortcut, going into a dark alley. If you memory was great, you’ll have to–

“ May I know why you are following me, my goodfella?”

You freeze. It was Alastor’s voice. Your back was facing him, you didn't know what distance he was standing on but you couldn’t turn around, he would recognize you. You heard his footsteps coming closer.

“ Did your Mother not teach you any manners? It's rather rude to not answer a question my good friend.”

You ran.

You ran and you could hear him behind you. Damn it Alastor ! Don’t run after someone who stalked you all afternoon!

You avoided any trash that was standing in your way. You saw a fence in front of you. It wasn’t very high, you could jump over it, then you would be into your neighbor's garden, you’ll just need to climb the tree and jump into your bedroom. You couldn’t help but smirked as you jumped over the fence, you always were faster than Alastor ! You fell graciously on the tree and began to climb the tree, you looked behind you but couldn’t see Alastor, did he give up? You entered your bedroom through your windows still wide open.

You stood there as you heard the front door opened violently downstairs and then your mother’s voice.

“ Alastor? Why are you runni- Alastor!”

You panicked as you heard Alastor footsteps running faster in the stairs. You took your clothes off quickly and hid them in your closet but as you ran toward your bed while putting on your nightgown you stud your foot against the furniture making you yell painfully. You fell on the bed, groaning, fuck that hurted !

“ What is going on?” you heard Alastor shouted as he slammed the door open. You curled on yourself, sweating and breathing hard from all that running. You felt his cold hand on your forehead. “ You are sweating although your window is wide open.” he shut the window and stared at you, caressing your back. At least you could pass your foot pain for menstruation’s pain.

“It’s because of the smell that I’ve left the window open but Alastor… What are you doing here ? You said you’ll come later…”

“ Well my dear, I was chasing what I think could be your stalker.” you stared at him with wide eyes. Did he mistaked you for a stalker? Well, you did follow him all afternoon but…” But what was worrisome was that when I chased them, they ran into your house’s direction. You haven’t seen anything suspicious my friend ?” he stared at you with his usual smile. You shook your head trying to be as innocent looking as possible. He kept his gaze on you for more than a minute before kissing your forehead. “ Well, I’m sorry to have disturbed your rest my dear.”

You kissed both of his cheeks before laying back down on the bed. You waved at him goodbye before sighing in relief. You could still feel adrenaline inside your body and you couldn’t be prouder than yourself than right now.

Alastor did not catch you.

~~~

You were with Alice, finishing decorating the cottage. It was a cozy place, far away from the city, there was even a lake just behind the house. It was frozen, of course, but when summer came, you could all come here to have some fun! You were the 30st of December, the surprise would be tomorrow, everything needed to be perfect.

“ I think we did everything we needed to, we brang drinks, food, blankets, what more do you need, woman!” said an exasperated Alice. You knew you were being annoying right now but you really wanted everything to go smoothly. “ I’m done, we are going home, come, my cab is waiting for us.”

“ No, I think I’ll stay here tonight.”

“ I beg your pardon?”

“ I know, just… I… Please.. As you said, I’m perfectly safe here right? So what bad could it do to stay a night here, also, I know that if I see Alastor one more time, I would slip and spoil the surprise ! So please, Alice… Go back home, and manage the guests. I’ll wait for all of you here, with the drinks and food ready, even with the fire in the chimney.”

“... I really don’t want to but… Fine, there is a telephone here, in the entrance. If you need anything, you can dial my house’s number, okay? I’ll tell your mother you’re staying here. And if you need to run away because.. I don’t know what, there is a backdoor that’s always unlocked, I’ll enter from there if you call me okay? Keep the front door locked.” you nodded before hugging her. You knew she didn’t like your idea at all, but you were happy she trusted you enough to let you go.

You waved at her as she took her cab and left. Well, now you just need to light up a fire and find a room where to sleep. You were excited, it felt like it was your own house ! You smiled as you imagined your life like the owner of this house. You took Marie’s book recipes, now what should you cook?

~~~

A snowstorm.

A fucking snowstorm.

It’s been going on for three hours now, thank God you have enough woods so you didn’t have to go outside to find some. You were sitting in a cozy chair with your hot chocolate, a romance book on your laps and with a bright fire in the chimney. You really hoped it would stop before tomorrow, you didn’t want to cancel the surprise.

You closed your eyes. Well, you just had to wait…

Thud

You woke up, sweating. You sat up, making your book fall on the floor. What was that? You looked around you, the fire was almost completely extinguished, only a few flames remained on the wood. You stood up streching yourself and yawned. You fell asleep like that? You took the blanket with you, ready to go to bed when you heard it again.

Thud

You felt your body shivering, your heart beating stronger and faster. Okay, it was a real noise, it wasn’t a trick from your mind. You went quietly into the kitchen, and took a knife. You weren’t even sure of what you were going to do with it but safer than sorry, right? You stared at the front door, where you heard the noises. You couldn’t see anything from the windows, it was dark outside and with the storm going on… It was too dangerous.

You watched as the door handle moved.

Someone was trying to enter.

You didn’t realize you were shaking. It couldn’t be Alice, she told you she would enter by the back door. She wouldn’t try to open the front door. What should you do? Run by the backdoor and getting lost in the snowstorm or staying here, waiting for this person to enter and do… You didn't want to think about it.

The noises coming from the door stopped. You held your breath, counting in your mind the seconds. You’ll count to one thousand and then you’ll go back to the living room to see if you could notice something. You were around 665 when you heard a window breaking upstairs.

You screamed.

The footsteps ran toward you.

You ran.

You slammed opened the backdoor and ran into the snowstorm. Where were you going ? You didn't know, you wanted to lose the intruder in the snow and then come back safely into the house. You held the knife in your hands, if needed would you be able to kill to protect yourself? You heard a shout behind you, he seemed closer than you thought. You needed to do something, anything ! You could already imagine your mother’s face if she happened to know you had gotten killed ! Alice would die from guilt. And Alastor…

You slid on ice, hitting the back of your head against the floor. You frowned, what was..? You touched the ice and realized you were on the frozen lake. You felt your eyes getting teary. Why was that happening, why? You tried to stand up without falling and then you saw the shadows of the man following you.

“ Stay away !” you shouted, the wind carrying your voice to you don’t know where, holding on to your knife. “ I’m not afraid of killing you !”

Your legs were shaking but if you were to die, you would die fighting ! The shadows came closer and closer, his hand stretching toward you. You raised your arms, ready to sink it into his chest. You warned him !

“ Look at me !”

You opened your eyes, you didn’t even notice when you closed them, and saw Alastor, standing near the edge of the frozen lake. He was only centimeters away from you. Have you gone mad? Why was Alastor here? Why was he looking at you without smiling, his eyes begging you to listen to him.

“ Alastor..?”

You tried to walk toward him, trying to catch his hand but the only thing you heard before blacking out was the ice cracking underneath your feet and Alastor calling out your name.

~~~

You were burning from the inside, were you in Hell?

“ Open your eyes, don’t you dare fucking die ! Anyone but you! ”

You felt someone’s lips against yours. You didn’t want any other lips on yours but Alastor’s. You pushed the stranger away as you began to cough violently. It hurts. Death wasn’t supposed to be a peaceful journey?

You opened your eyes weakly and there he was. Alastor who was drenched above you. You were so cold.. it was burning you. As soon as Alastor saw your eyes he fell to his knees, his head tilted back, his hand covering his face, whispering something you couldn’t hear.

“ Alastor..?” You looked around and realized you were back in the cottage, the fire has been lit on. You sat up slowly and looked at the blanket around you. You were freezing but tucked into a lot of blankets. “ What are you doing here..?”

“ Is that the first question you want to ask me ?” His voice was cold, his face was stoic, his usual smile non-existent. He was shaking. “ What were you thinking going out in a bloody snowstorm? Have you lost your mind ?” he stood up, raising his voice at you. As your memories came back you understood what happened. The man you thought was an intruder was Alastor.

You looked down, ashamed but then anger replaced that feeling. Everything would have turned out great if he didn’t come!

“ I was doing great before you came along! Why are you here?”

“ There is a bloody stalker after you and you decide to stay alone in a deserted area ? Tell me dear, are you trying to impress me with your stupidity because you succeeded. Congratulations.” he said mockingly as he sat on the sofa, trying to dry his hair with a towel.

“ I was preparing your birthday, it was supposed to be a surprise !”

“ My birthday’s not worthwhile if you are not by my side!” he shouted, throwing the towel on the floor, his eyes shining with fury. He came to you and tugged you closer by grabbing the necklace he had given you on Christmas. “ What a charming surprise it would have been, finding your dead body in the snow ! Celebrating my birthday would mean celebrating your death? Oh, you really are spoiling me, my friend. You really are taking the cake!” he spat as he stared at you.

“ Don’t shout at me !”

“ Don’t play with your life then!” He took a knife from his wet pants.” What did you think you could have done with that? Would you stab a man my dear, tell me, would you do it?” he taunted you, mocked you, moving the knife in front of your eyes. “ Do you know how to kill, my dearest?” his voice was low, menacing but you weren’t afraid.

“ I would have.” you stated. Even if you had closed your eyes, in your mind, you were ready to stab the intruder. “ I was ready to stab to live…” you felt your eyes beginning to tear up.” I was so afraid that I was going to die without seeing you again.. That I was ready to kill someone…” you sobbed as you realized that you almost killed today. You fell to your knees, sobbing. Alastor was angry with you, you almost died, his birthday was a disaster… You wanted to disappear.

You felt his arms around you and you couldn’t help but sob harder. You grabbed his shoulder, pressing yourself against his wet cold clothes. You wanted to feel him more than ever.

“ What.. What happened ?” you hiccuped as he stroked your hair.

“ The ice from the lake broke. I jumped in to save you and take you back here so you wouldn’t die of hypothermia.” he whispered, his body still tense.

“ We shouldn’t stay in wet clothes then..” you took a step back and then you realized, you were in your underwear under the blanket. Did Alastor strip you? You blushed as you looked up to him, he was looking at his own clothes with disgust.

“ There are no other clothes for me, I’ve looked around.” he sighed before looking away. You shyly touched his shirt and tugged it gently, mutely asking him to undress. He looked at you for a long minute before taking his shirt off and then when you saw them.

Scars.

So many scars were on his upper body. You approached your hand while looking at Alastor who wasn’t smiling. It was so intimidating. His eyes weren't as warm as usual when he was looking at you, there was something completely different. He softly took your hand in his and with a soft sigh, kissed the back of it. He kissed the back of your hand, once, twice.. before tugging you against him and kissing your lips avidly.

You brought your hand into his hair as you kissed him back with so many emotions, fear, worry, desire, fondness… You didn’t know what words to put on your other feelings but what was important right now was Alastor.

You both were panting, you didn’t want to stop kissing him but you needed to breathe. He laid you on the floor, kissing your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, your jaw. You were breathing hard, holding onto him, tilting your head back so he could kiss your neck. He was kissing, biting as if making sure you were still here with him.

After a few minutes, he stopped, panting against your chest. You were gripping his hair. You didn’t really know what was happening but you felt great…

“ Don’t ever… Don’t ever do that again my dear…Don’t ever go somewhere I can’t find you...”

You hugged him, pressing his head against your warm chest.

“ I promise.”

He sighed once last time before standing up and walked toward the telephone, calling your Mother’s house. You stood up and tried to find clothes for Alastor but there weren’t any that would fit him. You sighed and decided to just take all the blankets from all the room. You went back to the living room just when Alastor ended the call.

“ I just said you were okay, I didn’t talk about our little trip outside.” you nodded and put the blanket on the sofa. You didn’t know how to feel, here you were in your underwear and Alastor shirtless. It happened in the past… But why right now.. It seemed different? You shook your head, it wasn’t important. You held your hand toward Alastor who raised an eyebrows.

“ Let’s sleep.” you said softly. He sighed but walked toward you. You pushed him on the sofa and then laid on him before pulling the cover over you. You caressed the scars you could see, you could feel his body tensed when you touched one who seemed deeper than the others. As you began to fall asleep you felt him nudged you.

“ Stay awake a little longer.. I don’t think I’m capable of seeing you with your eyes closed right now…”

You nodded but you were so tired… You fought against sleepiness until Alastor said it was okay to rest.

Tag List :@lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @sodavizz @boogiemansbitch @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp @t0xic1vi @diamond-almond @fangirlbitch02 @saccharine-nectarine

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 17 days

Text

Winter's King 5

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)

Characters: Geralt of Rivia

Note: it's saturday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You follow the king into the great hall. Despite the sun beaming in through the open doors and the chirping of sparrows from the courtyard, it is a dour affair.

King Geralt marches across the hall as you stand by a tall candelabra near the door. It remains unlit as the summer lights much of the space through the long windows and broad doors. He approaches the bishop in his robe and sash and points the man with a terse grunt. Lord Dustan and Lady Rozlyn stand behind the cleric, looking fraught.

“Where is the bride?” The king growls as his golden eyes skim the stone walls.

“Your highness, we’ve just called for her--”

“She is aware of our impending nuptials, she would keep her betrothed waiting?” The king rebukes, “you summer souls and your flimsy spines.”

The duchess twitches in offence but does not rebuff the insult. The wine has subsided well enough to allow her some sense. Lord Dustan’s lips press tight and he claps.

“My daughter, at once,” he hisses in your direction.

Before you can turn on your sole, the king grunts, “fetch her yourself. How can I trust you to keep my kingdom in order if you cannot bring the same to your own house?”

“Yes, your highness,” Dustan blanches, “it was only I thought it would be swifter to send the maid.”

“It would be swifter if you stilled your tongue,” King Geralt barks.

The duke recoils and hurries off. Your eyes meet the king’s and he gives a slight tilt of his head and you resume your plaintive stance. Lady Rezlyn looks him up and down before she withdraws her gaze and instead focuses on the portrait of her husband’s predecessor.

The air grows stagnant as you wait. When at last a stirring comes from above, the king is gripping the dagger on his belt. He is not impressed with the delay.

“Father, I am here, I am here, unhand me,” Lady Jazlene blusters in ahead of the duke. She wears the red and ivory and matching ribbons have been braided into her curls. She has several necklaces piled around her neck and her hands are adorned in tones of silver and gold. “I am ready,” she sighs as she approaches the bishop and face the king, “it is not the wedding I dreamt of but for a king, I might settle.”

King Geralt’s golden eyes narrow. He looks through his bride and she wavers on her feet as she reaches for him. He does not offer his hand nor his arm before he faces the bishop.

“The vows,” the king demands flatly.

“Er,” the bishop falters and searches the chamber.

“Where is the writ?” The king hisses, “do you not have a scribe?”

“Here, your highness, here,” Dustan waves to a squire waiting near the outer doors. “It only requires ink and seal, after the vows of course.”

The king exhales hotly and faces the bishop again, signaling with a curt flick of his fingertips. You only then notice Merinda across from you, she must’ve followed the noble daughter in. She exchanges a glance with you, she is not more amused than King Geralt.

“Ahem,” the bishop adjusts his tall cap, “let us begin. We commune here today to--” The king waves his hand dismissively and the cleric flinches. “Hm, uh, sir, your highness, my lord, King Geralt, of Rivia and the Hinterlands, and the Summer countries,” he stutters as his eyes droop, “do you swear, by the sacred rites and the laws of the realm, to take this woman in blessed matrimony? To attend to your duties as husband and keeper, until death?”

The ceremony is as brusque as anything the king does. He does not have time or patience for the pageantry or prolonged talking. His shoulders rise with his breath and he heaves out, “I make this vow.”

“And, Lady Jazlene, daughter of Debray, do you swear, by the sacred rites and the laws of the realm, to take this man in blessed matrimony? To attend to your duties as wife and servant, until death?”

Jazlene sniffles and makes a show of blotting her face with her sleeve. Her mother blubbers from the side and Lord Dustan hushes her. Their threatrics are almost humourous amid the solemn air. King Geralt rumbles and stares over the bishop’s head.

“I... I make... I make this vow,” Jazlene bawls and pulls out a handkerchief from her bosom. She covers her nose and wipes away her tears. “I shall love the king and serve him better than any w-w-wife.”

The bishop hesitates as he looks between the bride and groom. He nods and beckons forth Lord Dustan, “so we will seal this marriage in ink and wax. Sign your names and let the royal stamp be applied to set in bond your fates until the black night sees you to rest.”

Dustan comes forward with the parchment and signals to another unseen figure. A servant brings forth a quill and well as the contract is laid out on the table near the wall. The king approaches as Jazlene weeps at his side, trailing after him as she trembles. The king signs first, with a slash of the quill, then Jazlene barely keeps hold of the pen as she loops her name across the rough surface.

She drops the feather and fans herself. She looks around, preening, and grabs onto the king’s arm, “so we are married.”

He doesn’t react. He turns without acknowledgement as she stays latched on, pulled forth by his easy strength. His gaze touches yours as you watch the strange and strained scene. This is unlike any wedding you’ve ever seen, though you haven’t seen a noble one in all your life. Only the whispered vows of servants behind the stables or in the meadows. Those ones that are only written in spirit.

His eyes quickly flit away and he sets his sight on the doorway beside you. He walks forward with his bride dragging on his arm. His mail jostles loudly with his steps as his soles scuff.

“Let the marriage be consummated,” he mutters without look back, “you will be ready to travel at dawn.”

“Your highness?” Dustan stumbles forward, “dawn?”

“Husband, am I to come with you?” Jazlene murmurs.

“A kingdom must be rebuilt,” King Geralt states without inflection. “I will not rule over a resentful people, I will show them I fought for them, not against them. And you will follow through on your vows to me or find I am not so weak as that fool, King Waleran.”

⚔️

You help Merinda with Lady Jazlene’s travel chest. You pack away as much as you can; shifts, nightclothes, gowns, stockings, all that you think she would like to take with her. The sudden departure allows you little time for ponderance, you only do as you must. As ever. So is life.

“She will hate it in the Hinterlands,” Merinda scoffs, “when I served for the earl, there was a man from the Winter Isles. He was missing fingers from the cold. He told me how they turned black and fell off.”

“Then she will need to find some mitts,” you shrug as you roll up a cloak. Much of the lady’s clothes are not suited to a colder climate. She has no furs; they are not needed in the Summer lands. Midsummer through to High Summer offer little more than a cooling rain between mild to sweltering highs.

“Perhaps she should bundle up against her husband too,” Merinda snickers, “he is icy as the tundras he hails from.”

“He is a king, he has much to worry for,” you sniff.

“Mm, I suppose, though he hardly ever looks concerned for anything. Speaks even less,” she muses, “I suppose Lady Jazlene will speak plenty for both of them.”

“Queen Jazlene,” you correct her bleakly.

“Oh, he should worry for that,” the other maid chuckles again. “Though I suppose now she will have all the gowns she likes.”

“Perhaps,” you allow.

“Let us prosper here without her demands. Where it is warm and sunny,” Merinda sighs.

“It will be rather quieter,” you agree.

You carry on until the chest is near overflowing. You sit on the lid as Merinda buckles the straps. You will need some male servants to come carry it to the stables. That should wait until morning. Lady Rezlyn bid you wait in her daughter’s chamber should she emerge from the king’s.

You pack a smaller chest for her jewels and her cosmetics, and a few books she’s worn down with her fingertips, and her sewing hoops and needles. Oft, she only holds onto those possessions as she gossips with her mother. You suppose that will be difficult. When the duchess and her husband return home and their daughter must face her obligation without ally.

There are servants like Merinda who might covet gems and pretty things, but you’ve never much envied the noble type. They have overly much responsibility. You only need swab a floor or lace a dress. Life could not be simpler.

“Hm,” she hums and gives a cluck of her tongue.

You wind up a length of ribbon and put it in the chest. You feel Merinda watching you. You look up and arch your brows. “What?”

She smiles, “you remind me of him.”

“Who?”

“The king,” she tinkles with laughter, “you are both so... quiet. You never say more than you need to. I can appreciate that given who we serve but you are a hard nut.”

“I don’t have much to say, suppose,” you reply. “Don’t know very much of the king, either.”

She’s quiet as you carry on. You assume some things will need to be sent after the lady; the queen. It will be a long journey and not one which you think would entail many banquets. It’s a scary unknown ahead of Lady Jazlene, though it is overdue.

When the smaller chest is full, you and Merinda lift it onto the larger. It is late and the night hue surrounds you as only a single flame is lit. You yawn intermittently but neither of you dare lay down to sleep. You wouldn’t want to be accused of idleness.

You sit on the window bench and watch the moon as Merinda paces through shadows. You rest your chin in your hand but only for a moment as suddenly the hinges groan and cut through the din. You stand as Merinda faces the door sharply.

Lady Jazlene drifts in. The ribbons in her hair are loose and her dress is still laced tight, though her skirts are rumbled and wrinkled. She leaves the door ajar behind her as she ambles stiffly towards the bed. She turns to fall onto the bench at the foot of the four-post frame.

She doesn’t speak as she stares ahead. Merinda shuts the door as you inch towards the noble woman. She offers no reaction as you hover near her. She presses her hands above her knees and shudders out a breath.

“My lady,” Merinda speaks first, glancing at you cautiously, “your highness, would you... would you like a bath?”

Jazlene doesn’t answer. Her head moves subtly back and forth then dips again. She balls fabric in her fists.

“I did what mother said,” she croaks, “and... I was... I was aroused. I was ready...” she murmurs.

You and Merinda stand in silence. You’ve never heard the noble daughter speak so smally. She lifts her head.

“I did it. I did my duty,” she declares, “but he...” she rises and you back away as she sweeps around the bed, a hitch in her step. She goes to the mirror and leans in, touching her cheeks, turning her head this way and that, “I’m beautiful, aren’t I? Mother says, father says... but the king... the king...”

She blows out her breath and is silent. She spins and clutches her bodice. She looks down at herself.

“He didn’t even let me take this off,” she babbles, “then he just... sent me away.” She puts her hand to her chest, “a bath? Did you say a bath?” She looks at Merinda, “yes, I must wash. Wash it all away.” She clears her throat and drops her hand, rolling her shoulders, “tomorrow we must leave--” her voice catches, “I must go to my new home with my...” she puts her back to you and sits on the cushioned seat before the vanity, “...husband.”

You nod to Merinda and cross the room to meet her at the door. You share a look, one which doesn’t need conversation. Even though she’s laid with a man, your fellow maid looks distressed. You go out into the hall, pulling shut the door gently in the nocturnal dim.

“Do you think he was cruel?” Merinda asks.

“It isn’t our concern, is it? It is a wife’s duty...” you whisper, uncertain.

“It was her first,” Merinda remarks, “perhaps she was unready.”

“We shouldn’t speak of it,” you gird.

“You needn’t be so chaste,” she reproaches, “if I didn’t know her wrath, I might even feel sorry for the lady.”

“Mer,” you warn again, “let us get some water for the bath.”

Merinda chuffs, “you are so... boring.”

You walk away from her, ignoring her chiding. You don’t care if she thinks you dull. It isn’t your place to judge the marital matters of the lady and her husband. It is even dangerous to gossip over royal business. You will not chance it.

She follows. You descend and go to boil a pot in the kitchen. Merinda lights several candles as you go to work. You carry the large vessel between you. Several trips up and down to fill the large tub. Merinda undresses Jazlene as you go to return the pot.

You place it near the fire stove as the embers burn low and orange. You stand in front of it, the cindery scent tinging your nostrils. You should go back but unease lingers in your gut. The way Jazlene just stared, how hollow she sounded, you’ve never seen her like that.

The candles behind you flicker and you turn to the swirling shadows. There’s a figure just inside the doorway, almost ghostly, much too towering to be the cook. You gulp and fold your hands against your stomach.

“Hello?” You utter to what must be a wraith.

There is no answer, the silhouette merely moves towards you. You steel yourself, a scream caught in your throat. The tint of the fire stove reflects off golden irises and the king’s figure comes clearer in the night. You suck in air and steady your feet.

“Your highness,” you gasp.

“Ale,” he sneers.

“Yes, your highness, I will fetch--”

“To my chambers,” he demands, looming over you.

“Yes, your highness, ale, at once,” you go to spin and he grabs onto your arm, drawing you back. He grips tightly, squeezing as he pulls you into the haze of warmth radiating from him. Or perhaps that is the oven.

He holds you, puffing out breaths as he glares down at you. You’re trapped in his simmering sights. You look up at him, eyes wide, lips slightly parted. He lets out a low snarl and slowly releases you.

“I hate these summer lands,” he grumbles as you stagger back.

You still and stare as he backs away. He turns on his heel and stalks towards the door, leaving you in frightful curiosity. You open and close your fingers, your forearm tingling from his firm grasp. You rub it through your sleeve as you spin towards the cellar. You will be certain to grab a full cask for the king’s thirst.

#geralt of rivia #dark geralt #dark!geralt #geralt of rivia x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #the witcher #series #winter's king #au #medieval au

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emyladia · 5 days

Text

I want you back... | L. Nr

pairing : lando norris x f!reader

summary : you and lando had broke up a few months ago and you're just now moving on. Or so you thought... 'Cause that was before he decide to text you.

genre : fluff, slightly angst ?

warning : cursing, pretty sure that's all

a/n : I just loooove writting about lando. This is kinda shitty but it was fun to write hope you'll enjoy it ! Anyways taking request if you want.

You were fine, of course the break up has been really tough for you but now you could say it loud and proud : you were over it.

What a lie...

All it took was a damn text for your world to fall into piece again.

"Hey"

It was 3 AM when you screen lit up, and now that single word was making you completly crazy.

What the hell ? Why would he be texting you ? Maybe a wrong number ? Was he drunk ?

Your head was just a huge mess at the moment, that's probably because of that that you decided to answer. You clearly wouldn't have if you were in your plain consciousness.

At least that's what you were trying to convinced you.

"Hey" You text back.

"It's been a while" He answered in less than a minute.

"WTF lando ?" You couldn't help but send, this wasn't making any sense.

He was the one to broke up with you, and he hadn't even try to contact you the past months. Why would he texts you ? And why now when you were finally moving on ?

"I miss you"

You had turn off your phone after this text.

Like what were you supposed to say ? That you too you were missing him ? That in fact you were missing him so damn much it was hurting you ? That you were missing him so bad that sometimes you were calling your male friends by his name ?

You just couldn't answered that.

You were having lunch with your a few friends, yet the text just wouldn't leave your mind.

You had basically stared at it the whole morning.

"Hey, you're okay y/n ?" One of your friend asked.

"Oh yeah sorry I was just lost in my thoughts" You tried to brush it off, chuckling a little.

"You seem a bit off today, no offense but we've barely heard you" Another one of your friend spoke with a concern look on her face.

They were all nodding, as you sighed.

You should probably just told them, theywere your closest friends and it's not like you could keep that to yourself anyway.

"Lando texted me" You blurted out looking down.

A loud silence followed your confession as you saw all their eyes widened in shock.

"I'm sorry WHAT ?" One of them finally spoke.

"Lando in like LANDO ?" Another continued.

And they all followed, throwing questions at you.

You showed them the conversation, way easier and they all gasped at the last text.

"What are you gonna do ? You should probably block him" Your friend said, they seemed tp all agree.

"Yeah I should do that" You nodded.

They were probably right, that was the best things to do. They were the one who had picked you up piece by piece when Lando broke up with you.

You were gonna do just that, blocked him and he would be out of your life forever.

God you were so weak.

When you went home and were about to block him another text illuminated your screen.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, you're not mad are you ?"

You swear your fingers had just moved on their own.

"I'm not mad, I was just busy sorry" You replied, and you knew you had fucked up, that needed to stop and yet you were encouraging him.

"I'm so relieved to hear that ! How you're doing ?"

Damn why was he answering so fast.

"Just casual life nothing too entertaining, you ?"

"Pretty much the same"

It was gonna be fine, it was a simple discussion between two young adults. Nothing to worry about.

"The paddock feels empty without you" He added.

Shit. This wasn't fine at all.

"Is that so ?" You were kicking your feet like a damn teenager.

"Yeah, can't win a race without you" You knew, and he knew this was border, but to be honest you weren't caring at all.

"Can't win a race at all" You joked, you were giggling. God you've missed talking to him, even for simple discussion like that.

You shouldn't felt that way, or you were gonna end up sad again, but you couldn't help it.

"OFFENSIVE" He texted back, but you knew he was laughing.

You and Lando kept talking for hours, you were smiling at your phone like a maniac.

He was such a good talker, smooth, funny, full of charm.

He knew how to annoy you and how to make you laugh the most. He also knew how to hurt you the most.

You were currently laying in bed, watching 'pretty woman' when you got another text from your ex boyfriend.

"I really do miss you tho"

Here you were again, staring at the screen like it contained the answer to the greatest mystery on earth.

"Lando, stop that please" You eventually texted back after a few minutes.

"That what ?"

"That thing that you're currently doing, trying to make me pity you"

"Is it working ?"

"Lando..."

"Cmon y/n I'm serious, I fucking miss you, every minute of every day"

You were no longer paying any attention to the movie that was still playing on the screen of your laptop.

"YOU chosed to broke up" You remembered him.

"I know I made a damn mistake, and I'm sorry"

"You know what I don't even want to talk you anymore"

"Y/n don't do that"

"I should have blocked you already"

"But you didn't"

You were infuriating, completly messed up by too many emotions at the same time, you were sad, and angry against him, and against you too cause you were so weak for this man.

He was right, you didn't.

"Babe please, I just want you back" He sent you a few minutes later since you weren't answering.

"Should have thought about that sooner, and don't call me that"

"I'd do anything" He insisted.

"Claim me on TV and I'll think about it" You texted saracstically before turning off your phone.

You and lando had never been public, because fans could be crazy at some times and you were finding it absolutly ridiculous to brag on social media that you were in a relationship.

That's why you had said that, that wasn't making anysense. Maybe now he'll understand that this was definitly over.

Or so you thought.

When you woke up your phone was blowing up with notification.

A lot of demands on instagram and hundreds of texts from your friends.

You were so confused until you clicked on the link your friend had sent you.

It was an interview of Lando that he hade just done but the views were already so high. Why would she send you that ?

Everything become clear when right before ending the interview Lando spoke :

"Actually I want to say something before leaving, I used to date a girl Y/n Y/l/n, she was amazing but I messed up with her cause I was a complete idiot... So if you're ever seeing this please come back, I know I've been an asshole. But I really want you back"

What.

In.

The.

World.

Was.

Happenning.

You grabbed your phone and dialed his number immediatly... No answer.

"What have you done ???" You tyepd agressively on your keyboard completly freacked out.

#hi there #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris #lando x reader #imagine #ff #norris #ln4 #mclaren #i love him #fluff

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mizuseyebrows · 3 months

Text

a love letter to mizu —mizu x f!reader

warnings: if i did my writting well, you'll cry like i did lol. not proofread. fluff. mention of sake. she/her pronouns for mizu. crying, sobbing.

includes: (tipsy) sweet, devoting and loving fem!/afab! reader. sensitive, insecure mizu. word count: 3.8k

summary: things were about to heat up but you both ended up making love in a very different way.

a/n: I would definitely cry (I already do) while telling mizu how beautiful she is.

This felt like heaven.

When you arrived at the room a little tipsy from the sake you had been drinking in the business below the hotel, you didn’t expect to end up with her like this.

She was wrapping her hands around your back, pulling you further against her. Her lips tasted sweet like the dangos you ate in the evening. The passion between you too was a bit aggressive despite your quiet body language. She kissed you more intensely, not pulling away for a while, while her tongue played with yours. You could feel her body start to loosen up as she relaxed.

Mizu held you against her body, her fingers making you sit above her more firmly. Her kisses kept up their vehemence not letting you get a breath as she devoured you. After you let out a soft moan, she placed her hand on the back of your head to press you further into the act of exploring your cavity.

You whimpered against her tongue at the exact moment her hands traveled under your yukata until they reached your buttocks, which she began to gently knead. You clutched your hands at the blue haori that she prized so much, beginning to feel the heat swirl between your legs.

When Mizu felt your thighs begin to squeeze her hips, she pulled away from the kiss with a seductive snap and a sly grin on her face. You didn't open your eyes, just slowly licked the remains of her saliva from your lips, which made your whole body tingle.

She chuckled quietly to herself, her blue eyes shining in the dim light. She placed her fingers against your cheek and caressed it softly, the sensation of her lips still lingering on your mind.

"You're too good for this, you know?" she said calmly, her breath a little heavy. She looked at you as if you were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

You languidly opened your eyes and stared at her, her eyes shining beautifully from the moonlight coming through the window. "Too good for what?" You asked with a giggly smile.

She laughed at you again, her blue eyes sparkling. For me, she said in a teasing tone, giving you a quick kiss before pulling away and leaning back slightly so you could clearly have a view of her face.

"I mean it, ya know, you're too sweet, too perfect, too... everything" she slurred, her left hand still caressing your cheek as she spoke. "I don't wanna ruin you"

"Why would you ruin me?" You rested your face on her palm, still looking at her with a sweet and serene expression.

She sighed, looking back at you in a calm manner as well. "I'm just not cut out to be what you deserve" she said, giving a smile that was part-sadness and part-contentment. "I'm too... flawed, too rough, too aggressive, too... me." she chuckled softly and shook her head. "I don't want to taint your innocence"

You moved your head slightly to give her a kiss on the center of her hand. "I don't care about any of that, you treat me well and make me feel... pretty." You chortled, blushing.

She laughed at you, her expression becoming soft as she felt the warmth of your lips on her hand, the feeling of it made her heart flutter in her chest.

"Just so you know, you ARE pretty..." she whispered, her hand rubbing your face softly again. Her fingers caressed the curve of your cheek, caressing it fondly. "You really are gorgeous, you know?"

You shook your head and wrinkled your nose, closing your eyes as a sugary giggle let out. "I'm not... I'm normal."

"Oh no" she smiled, as her knuckles came up to your chin and turned it up towards her eyes so that she could look into them once more. "You're not normal, honey..." she said, her voice a bit deeper now as she leaned in a bit. "No one else in this world is like you... no one else is as beautiful and precious to me as you..."

"You're just saying that to embarrass me..." You mumbled against her lips, pouting deeper, and nuzzled her cheek.

"Oh no I'm not..."

She breathed, letting go of your face before gently biting your neck just under the ear. It felt like a slight pinch, sending a shiver up your spine. "I'm being serious... you're the most precious thing in the world to me, darling... I would never say anything that I don't really feel..."

You whimpered at the twinge and tightened your hands around her clothes again, tilting your head to the side. "You're gorgeous too, honey...”

She giggled at the reaction you gave, feeling her heart beat faster admiring how sensitive you were to her touch.

"You're so cute..." she whispered, giving you another bite on your neck with just enough pressure to feel it without being overly painful, though it still caused you to wince slightly. It felt like she was playing with you.

You lowered your head slightly, still some pitch sounds camping out of your mouth. "Your eyebrows and your eyes are the most beautiful things I have ever seen..." You gasped sincerely, placing a small kiss on her collarbone. “I hadn’t realized that blue could be such hot fire until I saw your eyes…”

Mizu blushed slightly at your comparison and was grateful to be in the crook of your neck to hide her nervousness. She even shivered a little bit.

"Oh honey, it's not only my eyebrows and eyes that you like..." she teased, placing her hands on your butt again and slowly slid it through her thighs. She could see you squirm a bit from her touch, which caused her to chuckle again in amusement.

"Your hands too, I love the tickling that your calluses give me and how long your fingers are... Gods, they make my whole body shake." You gasped loudly, remembering how good Mizu's palms felt running over your body made you want to let out a real moan.

She smirked at you, her fingers continuing their slow exploration down your body. She was taking as much time as she possibly could, enjoying the feel of you beneath her hands and seeing how easily you were flustered by the touch.

"And... my lips..." she whispered, her voice almost a tremble as she placed one finger on her own mouth, tracing the shape of her lips.

"Oh, your lips... Gods, your lips!" You threw your head back, letting out a loud moan.

You clenched your fists to her haori tightly as you remembered the early kiss. "I love how wet they are after our kisses, how they fit perfectly with mine... Baby, your kisses can turn me on in seconds..."

Your eyes glazed over slightly, after opened them again, it was the alcohol that had you in this state—in addition to Mizu's attitude. Your emotions were a confusing jumble at that moment, were you horny or did you just appreciate your girlfriend?

"Baby, I want to cry just thinking about how much I adore you." You sobbed softly. Your eyes studied her face, lingering on each of her features. "The way your cheekbones stand out, the shape of your eyes, your lips, your naturally pink nose, your eyes... Damn, your eyes..."

Sake always turned you into a whiny drunk and you always ended up lamenting over anything that seemed cute or beautiful to you.

She was shocked by your sudden display of affection, she couldn’t even smile. She felt a bit flattered and embarrassed by your outburst, yet she was also touched by the fact that you had such strong feelings for her. She placed her hands softly on your cheeks and caressed them, her thumbs brushing to wipe away any tears that may have spilled over.

"H-Honey..." she stuttered breathily, looking into your eyes with affection and a bit of sadness. She squeezed you a bit tighter against her body, caressing the side of your face.

You sniffed and pressed your lips together in a line, slowly feeling your skin heat up from embarrassment. "Sorry, I think the sake went to my head." You tried to smile, shrinking against her.

"It's o-okay..." her voice is comforting and gentle as her body started to shiver lightly. “A-And you know what? I want…want to cry thinking about how much I l-love you as well" she whispered, her shattered breath brushing against your neck as she spoke.

Her own eyes also filled with tears after hearing you speak so lovingly about her face, her biggest insecurity. No one had ever expressed to her that she was beautiful in some way and to hear the person she loves the most say she wanted to cry just by the simple act of loving her, made her heart ache with devastating force. She didn't think she would end up weeping on the night she felt her desire for you burning the most. But there she was, trying to hide her sobbing.

She tried to remain composed and confident, but the violent spasms in her limbs were complicating everything. Maybe holding in what she felt was hurting her, but she was much more terrified that you would see her in that state.

You heard her try to hide herself and looked up with concern, pouting again. "My love, please don't cry..." You plead with a snivel caught in the lump of your throat, feeling your bottom lip tremble. "What's wrong?"

She couldn't help but be touched by the way you cared for her, being so concerned and loving about what she was doing. Even while she was sad, you found the strength to be worried about her feelings.

"It's nothing... I'm just..." she couldn't find the words for it, the feeling was too strong for her to simply say what it was. She wanted to cry because of how much this meant to her. The fact that you loved her this much touched her so deeply that she could never explain it to you in words.

"Everything's okay, yeah?" You straightened up in her lap and brought her face to your chest to stroke her hair. You cooed her with encouraging words, letting her release everything she was feeling. Even found yourself crying from seeing her being so vulnerable, but your tried to look serene for her.

She nuzzled into your chest, her breathing becoming more and more unstable as she started to sob more intensely. Seeing you so caring and trying to look strong for her while being so close to breaking down, also made her sad.

"It's just... No one has ever..." she tried to find the words to explain what was wrong. "No one has ever thought my eyes or my lips are pretty... Or that I'm lovable..."

You pouted again, feeling your heart break. How is it possible that your beloved was not considered a work of art for others? She is the perfect embodiment of the crisp February chill that welcomes spring.

"They are all losers who don't know how to appreciate you. You are beautiful everywhere, from your hair to your feet." You nodded firmly and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

She smiled at you, though it was just a small, weak one. Her tears were still flowing strong and her breathing was still heavy, despite you holding her lovingly and giving her comforting words.

"They all called me a monster..." she said with a shaky voice, her fingers still clinging on tightly to your yukata. Her voice broke as she continued speaking. "They-They all thought I was an abomination…and that I'd never deserve anyone... That I'd die alone because of my looks...."

"No, baby, no." You shook your head effusively, eyes filling with many more tears. Those words hurt you like they were stabbing you in the stomach. "You are not a monster, you are not an abomination. You deserve everything you want in life, yes? You deserve to be happy and live in peace, without insecurities or sadness."

Her eyes widened as you spoke such reassuring way, her heart beating rapidly as she clung to you, feeling every bit of relief that those words gave her.

She buried her head into your chest, her face becoming so warm, she felt safe and secure in your arms. She felt protected and sheltered, she felt loved and cared for. A feeling she thought she'd never have the chance to experience. The moment was incredibly intimate and she was feeling all the emotions of the moment as she let them all pour out.

"If I had the power, I would make all those people who hurt you disappear. It's not fair that they treated you so badly." You adoringly brushed her hair and massaged her scalp, while kissing her forehead and whispering how much you loved her against her skin.

Mizu let some more tears fall onto your chest, her hand now resting on your back. She could feel her heart ache at the same time that she felt the relief and love for your affectionate and lovely words.

"You're too sweet to me" she breathed in between her sobs, shakily as she let out more of her sadness. You could tell that this moment was much bigger than her and that she had been repressing these feelings for so long that it all came out now.

"You deserve nothing less."

You caressed her cheek and left a kiss between her eyes, feeling the salt of her tears on your lips. She leaned into you, her heart beating a bit faster from the affection you are giving her. She couldn't feel anything except the warmth of your touch and the love that you gave her.

All those other experiences that she had before you, all the people who had hurt her before you, she felt as if all of it was painfully fighting not to be erased from her mind. Your affection for her seemed to want to defeat them in that battle. This was a new feeling, this is a completely different type of love, one that she had never experienced before. You could tell she was trying really hard to calm down her sobbing.

"My precious Mizu does not deserve to have heard those ugly comments.” You blubbered brokenly, the pain in your throat being too much to bear.

» "My precious Mizu deserves to be adored like a queen, to be treated well and be reminded how beautiful she is every day..." You rambled against her hair, brushing your fingers through her soft, dark strands. "My precious Mizu deserves all the love in the world, yes, she does..." Maybe you were a little gone from the distant effect of sake on you.

She was blushing now from your praiseful words, her cheeks turning a nice bright red color. A huge smile did not leave her face even though his eyes continued to wet her entire face.

"You're gonna make me cry again..." she whispered, trying to hold in her own sobs now, her breathing still shaky and her eyes shining like a pair of diamonds.

"No more crying, honey. Your eyes shouldn't cry." You caressed the temple of her head and kissed her forehead again. "You should always smile and laugh, that's why you have teeth and a mouth… Also to kiss me." You chuckled between sobs and nuzzled her hair.

She smiled at the comment you made, her face softening a bit from the affection you were giving her. The small kisses that you gave her made her feel comfortable and warm. She nodded her head up and down as smile again, her heart beating quickly, her breath still shaky.

"I promise I won't cry anymore" her eyebrows tightening slightly, trying to suppress her emotions. She looked at you and gave you a small kiss back, her lips feeling slightly dry from the amount of crying she just did.

"If you cry again, I want it to be with me so I can hug you and be with you during that moment, okay?" You gave her another peck on her lips and sighed as they felt a little salty from her tears. "You even look beautiful doing that."

"You'd really hug me if I were to start crying again?" she asked in an affectionate voice, her eyelids fluttering slightly as she tried to hold in the tears.

"I'll hug you anytime, I love hugging you." You rubbed your nose tip against hers. "Your nose and hands are always cold, but the rest of you is warm and comfortable."

"Do you like that my hands are always so cold?" she asked, biting her lip slightly while she spoke. She was starting to feel insecure again.

"The question would be: what I don’t like about you, Mizu?" You sighed and hugged her tighter. You were loving the fact that even though you were on her lap, she was the one who was being small.

She giggled at the answer you gave her, feeling pleased. She was kind of appreciating the feeling of being vulnerable with you and wanted to feel your kindness and tenderness even if it meant being small and defenseless like she was. That's what made her feel safe and loved in your embrace.

But suddenly, you started laughing out of nowhere, remembering what had happened before everything came to this, and then you buried your face in Mizu's hair. It smelled like the oils you used to wash it as an excuse to see her with her hair down.

She smiled when she felt your breath against the top of her head, and the warmth that your body irradiated against her made her feel protected.

She looked up at you with bright eyes and giggled. "What?" She asked surprised by the sudden change.

You shook your head against her hair and sighed. "Nothing, I just remembered that I moaned a while ago thinking about your lips... I'm so stupid." You giggled.

She blushed a bit at the reminder, and looked away embarrassed before speaking. She couldn't contain her own giggle, feeling a bit flustered and silly.

"You're not stupid" she whispered, looking back at you with her bright pink eyes. "Just, a bit of a tease" she joked lightly, giving you a kiss back.

"No, that's you." You responded with a pout and cupped her face to look into her eyes.

She chuckled.

"No, it's definitely you" she mumbled, trying to maintain her composure but failing as she started blushing even more.

"No, you." You touched her lips with your index finger and continued pouting.

She giggled softly, her pink tongue coming out and licking your finger before she continued speaking. Oh, your face just light up on fire.

"I can't compete with you. You're too good of a tease" she admitted teasingly.

"S-Shut up." You stuttered and hugged her tightly by the neck, hiding your face in her hair again.

She grinned. She could find your flushes to be extremely cute and it made her want to kiss you even more. "Stop being such a blushy mess!" she mumbled, her thumb stroking your neck softly.

"Yah! Stop it!" You clung closer to her and closed your eyes tightly, your cheeks had nothing to envy of a burning coal.

She loved every second of your timid demeanor.

"No, you're too cute" she said as she started stroking your back, enjoying the feeling of the fabric beneath her touch.

"I can play turning you into a blushing mess too." You came out of your hiding place and looked at her with a pout. You tapped her on the shoulder playfully. "Don't be mean to me."

That was indeed a cute look to see you pout like that, as if you were really hurt or offended by her teasing.

"Or what?" she raised an eyebrow, leaning a little bit as she tried to get a closer view of your face.

You made a sad face, teasing her, and played with your hands. "Are you going to be mean to me after all the nice things I said to you?"

She laughed happily and nodded her head, her smile spreading wider and wider.

"Yes, I am" she stated softly, her hands coming to your cheeks and stroking them lightly. "Because you're being too cute for me to resist. You're making it difficult for me to not have you blushing all over" she said playfully, she was indeed having a lot of fun.

She began to tickle you, marveling at hearing your immediate loud laughter. She took advantage of the fact that you were a bundle of chortles on top of her and threw you on the bed to continue playing with you. She began to nibble your cheeks lovingly and give you little kisses all over.

You laughed happily at her display of affection and tried to get away from her, but in reality you really enjoyed this playful and childish side of Mizu. You managed to stop her by taking her face in your hands and smiled affectionately at her from below. "I love you." You whispered, your breathing a little quickened.

She blinked her eyes when she heard, her heart beating rapidly once more.

"And I love you." she breathed back to you, her eyes shining and her smile lighting up your face. She leaned in for a kiss, wanting to express her feelings.

You kissed her back, hugging her neck, and pulled her closer. It was soft and slow, the passionate way in which your tongues touched each other was not with ulterior motives but with the complete willingness to show what you felt for each other.

She enjoyed this immensely, her lips tenderly pressing against yours and her tongue meeting yours and intertwining with one another. She felt the devotion behind it and knew that you wanted nothing but to express your love and affection towards her.

You tangled your hands in her hair, with your head tilted to the side to feel her better. Although you didn't expect to achieve anything more with her, you couldn't help but feel the desire to merge together to never let her go. You didn’t want her to be alone or feel alone again, you didn't want those bad comments to keep running through her head. You wanted her to feel safe with you and be able to trust you to be there and hold her when she needed it most.

She adore the sensation of your hand running through her hair, it made her feel sighed against your lips. She enjoyed every minute of it, enjoying the feeling of your body pressed against hers, enjoying the warmth behind your affection.

You were definitely making her feel safe and she trusted you, a feeling that was very important for someone like her who had been alone and isolated for so long because of the real monsters in her past life.

This totally felt like heaven.

thank you so much for your support guys, I already hit 100 followers!!!! THIS IS A GIFT FOR YOU ❤️❤️❤️

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