A Father's Condition: A Heartbroken Son's Choice
Summary: Thranduil and you are a couple but to protect him from your father you make a deal with your father that almost kills you.
Word count: 5639
Warnings: sad emotions
Guard Thranduil x Male Reader
You are currently alone with your father in a room. Writing something in a book as he walks over to you and stops besides you.
You look up at him " ada?"
"Mmm?" he asks "Are you done writing?"
His voice is deep and soft at the same time as he looks at you.
"yes"
"Good" a slight smile appears on his face as he starts walking to the door. "Can you come with me for a second?"
You nod, stand up and follow him " where are we going?'
"My room" he says, his voice suddenly lower and more serious.
"We need to talk."
You quickly follow him further.
You enter his room and notice, he locks the door right behind him.
"Why are you locking the door?"
"It's for privacy..." he says, walking closer to you. "I really need to talk to you."
"Talk about what?"
"I... have heard rumors..." he says "I have wanted to talk about it for some time, but I did not dare." Your father finally says.
"I'm curious, my son. Do you have a lover or something like that?" Father asks you.
You can barely speak as his words shock you "A...Lover?...Why?...Is it important?"
He comes even closer, his eyes filled with curiosity.
"Why are you asking me this, have you asked that brother also?"
"You both are different, my son..."
He gently grabs your chin and turns your face to the side, slightly lifting your head.
"Look at my eyes."
His deep voice is filled with excitement.
"So different are we not, he is a bit older but also my brother and your first son."
"Yes, but he is older...you are still young and innocent but it's a very good thing."
"Let me ask you something, my son. Don't be ashamed....if you had a lover, you would tell me, wouldn't you?"
"Probably not" you answer.
His eyes slightly widen.
"What do you mean with 'probably not'?"
He comes closer again but you can notice, he has now less control over his actions.
"Why should I tell you that, just because you are my father, the king, you just will scare them away" you utter.
His grip tightens on your chin. "What did you just say?!"
"You heard me, father" you answer.
"So you DO have a lover?"
His jaw muscles tighten, the veins on his neck seem to swell, all his control is disappearing.
You step a step back and bump against the wall, you are starting to get a bad feeling.
His eyes are almost wild now. "I thought I taught you honesty?"
The door is locked, you can't run away even if you wanted.
He slowly pushs himself against you.
"I'm honest" you say hesitated.
"Then be honest with me. Do you have a lover?"
You nod slowly.
His eyes are filled with both anger and curiosity.
He bites his lips. "Is it someone in this castle?" he asks.
You nod again.
His grip on your chin becomes slightly more painful.
"Who is it?" he demands.
"Father, please, you are hurting me." You whisper.
"Then just tell me, it's simple: who is he?" He grabs your chin even harder.
"Thranduil " you squeeze out and grab his hand and try to loosen his grip on you.
"Thranduil ?..." his eyes widen "Do you mean one of my guards!?"
His voice is filled with rage now.
"Ada, please you are scaring me" you whisper.
The rage only seems to grow "I will kill him."
His grip changes slightly, now he is grabbing you, pinning you to the wall and the door.
Your chest is pressed against his. You can hear his heavy breathing.
"Tell me...have you kissed him?" he growls.
"Ada, please" you beg slightly.
"Tell me, my son...have you kissed him?"
You nod slowly.
He doesn't release you for a moment but instead, comes even closer.
"How often did you kiss him, my son?..." he asks, his voice is low and almost predatory in this moment.
"don't know" you lick your lips " often maybe over ten times"
His eyes seem to sparkle in anger now. "over ten times!"
"Who initiated the first kiss?" A wild look appears in his eyes.
"Why do you want to know that?" you ask.
"Just tell me!" He hisses.
The grip on your chin tightens again.
"Did you initiate it or did he?"
"Please, Father. Let go of my chin" you say softly but slightly scared.
His eyes still seem wild.
The grip on your chin is painful.
"Tell me first and I will release you, my son."
"He kissed me first" you breathe out.
He hisses and his eyes only seem to spark more.
"That traitor...he kissed you?!"
He tightens his grip on your chin even more.
"Did you kiss him back?" He demands.
You nod slowly.
"How often did you kiss him back, my son?"
He presses his body against yours.
His eyes are wild as he keeps you pinned against the wall with his free hand.
"Always"
"Every time he kissed you, you kissed him back?"
You nod slowly.
"Did you enjoy your kisses with this traitor?"
His voice is calm now, like a predator that finally got what it wanted.
"He is not a traitor" you Protest.
You can feel his hot breath on your neck now as he leans even closer.
"I should punish him, my son." He says in a soft voice.
He starts to massage your chin now as the grip tightens slightly again.
“I punish him, for corrupting my son, his prince, this traitor, had no right in that. I think torture is the best punishment for him.” he says evil.
"No, don't do this, don't do anything to him" you say, almost vulnerable.
"I need to teach him a lesson..."
His voice is calm and he seems to be serious.
His grip tightens even more, his eyes have no anger now but excitement and a creepy sparkle.
"No, please. I can break the contact with him, if that's what you want but please don't do anything to him" you say quickly, apologetic and suffering.
He seems to be thinking.
His grip on your chin and your body is still tight but his voice is calm. "If you promise to break any contact with this traitor I'll grant your wish and keep him away from punishment...is it a deal?"
He smiles slightly.
You nod immediately, " i promise, i will talk to him and say that i don't want to see him anymore"
His smile only grows and he moves even closer to you. "Good, my son...very good."
He starts to caress your cheek with his thumb.
"Do it right away, my son. Tell him, you don't want to see him and don't love him anymore."
Your jaw tense slightly before you nod with a sad sigh.
You can feel his hot breath on your neck again as he leans right in front of you.
"Tell him you don't love him anymore, my son."
His voice is calm but you can hear how evil he says this.
Your eyes fill slightly with tears but you nod.
You can feel his fingers in your hair, stroking it softly.
"You are a good child, my son..."
"Just tell him that you don't love him anymore and that you will never see him again and that's it..." he whispers.
"I will, I promise."
He smiles and gently caresses your cheek again.
"Good child, my son...I am pleased." His voice is soft again.
"Now, be a good child and go tell him that."
You quickly walk out of the room.
"Don't come back here until you told him..." he says, while his eyes are still fixated on your back.
________________________________
Timeskip
You wait in a secret room until Thranduil comes to the meeting time. To do what your father wants.
When Thranduil meets you, you quickly move your gaze to the ground.
"Look at me..." Thranduil commands.
You slowly look up.
"What happened?" he asks.
You don't respond, you still can't look him in the eyes.
"Speak, please." he demands.
"I... We must talk" you answer.
He looks worried and his gaze is fixated on you, not used to you saying these words.
His voice is soft. "What happened? What is it, my love?"
You feel a slight pain move through your heart as he calls you my love.
"Maybe you should sit down" you whisper.
The pain grows even bigger as he moves and sits down.
"Please just tell me...I am worried..."
His voice seems to shake. His eyes are completely filled with worries.
"i.. we..." you stutter but you can't form words. Your hands run through your hair, nervous and stressed.
He tries to take one of your hands and looks at you.
"Please, my love...I am getting even more worried. Just speak to me."
You feel the pain in your heart rising.
Your hand moves a strand of his beautiful hair behind his ear and your eyes shows slightly the pain you feel. You already feel bad for what you're about to do to him.
His eyes seem to show a bit of shock as you touch him there.
"My love...?" his voice is filled with worry and disbelief.
You can hear his breath quickening.
"I don't understand...tell me what is wrong...please."
He looks right into your eyes.
"you are so beautiful" you whisper longing and try to smile.
"Thank you, my love..." he says softly. "But why are you like this? Why are you so shy, so distant all of a sudden?"
His eyes are filled with worry still but he tries to smile reassuring.
You take your shaky hand away from his hair and step a step back from him "we can't see us anymore, can't continue this relationship" you finally blur out.
His breath quickens even more, his eyes only show worry. "We can't anymore? But why, my love? What made you think that? Why are you even telling me this?"
His voice seems to tremble slightly.
He starts to stand up.
"I don't love you anymore" you say emotionless.
"What?!" he shouts, in complete disbelief. His eyes fill with shock and worry.
"I...what do you mean?! How can you say this so cold-heartedly, my love?"
He moves closer to you and wants to take your hands again.
“Don't call me, ‘my love’ again” you damage low.
You move away from him. " I'm breaking up with you, I don't want to see you anymore or any close to me. Don't speak to me again and don't come close to me, Thranduil."
His jaw seems to be locked, all his emotions seem to freeze.
He stands still.
"You...don't love me anymore? You...don't want to see me? You don't want to have anything to do with me?"
His voice is quiet, you only hear shock.
He shakes his head slightly. "Is this only a bad dream? You...you can't be serious, my love."
"I'm serious, from today on I'm not your love anymore just your prince. Don't talk to me or even look at me, when I don't comment you to do that."
He seems to be in disbelief. He can't comprehend what just happened.
He shakes his head again and takes a step towards you.
"You... don't love me anymore? So all of this was...a lie?"
He can't hold back his tears now.
"All the kisses...the times where we were together...was it all a lie? I...don't understand it."
He takes another step towards you.
"I never lied, all that I was saying was true and you know it." you whisper honest but slightly painful.
The grief in his voice is unbearable.
You can see his eyes fill with more tears as he takes another step closer to you.
"Please...please tell me, why all of this?" he whispers. "Why are you leaving me like this...? I...I can't believe this..."
You step away from him "because this relationship won't work out. I'm breaking up with you." you blur out.
"I will go now, don't try to speak to me again" you whisper softly and leave the room quickly.
You hear his deep and long exhale but he says nothing to this.
The pain in his eyes is still big.
He stands still, all his emotions seem to freeze as he tries to wrap his head around what is happening right now.
When you have already left the room, you can still hear his quiet voice.
"My love...come back. Don't leave me like this..." he whispers.
You quickly walk to your room, trying not to break down in the hallway.
You feel exhausted after that conversation and want only to get in your room.
When you arrive and are able to close the door, you take a deep breath.
You start to sit on your bed but quickly lie down on it.
A tear runs down your cheek as you realize what just happened.
Silencie.
All these thoughts and the pain in your heart are just too much.
You start to cry as you remember all the times with him.
And then silence.
You want to sleep and not think about what happened.
________________________________
Timeskip
You have cried yourself to sleep and the next morning you wake up, you change your clothes and walk as always in the dinner room for breakfast. Once there you greet your father and your brother.
You get out of your room and walk towards the dinner room.
"Good morning, father and brother" you greet.
Your eyes seem to be a bit red still as you try your best to not appear sad and exhausted.
Your brother looks slightly worried and Father seems to be deep in thoughts, like he is thinking about something very important.
Before you start to sit down, your father finally starts talking.
"Is everything alright, my child?"
You notice his eyes are filled with worry.
"Of course" you answer.
Your brother looks at you and seems to realize that you are sad.
"You don't look good, brother." He says and your father nods.
"Did you have a bad night?" he asks.
He seems to want to ask you more questions but decides against it.
He sighs and then smiles brightly at you. "Doesn't matter, it's better when you don't tell us. Come on, sit down and eat"
You know you need to play with his card and act totally normal now.
The next few days, your behavior goes colder, always the deal with your father in mind. When you never speak to Thranduil again, your father would spare him.
It is still painful to avoid Thranduil but you have no choice but to do so.
You act like nothing happened, like everything is normal.
You play the game of your father and act like nothing is missing.
He notices your colder behavior and wants to ask you again about it but he also notices the pain behind your eyes and decides against it.
You can't help yourself, the pain that you feel for not being able to see Thranduil anymore and the pain in your heart over the break up are unbearable.
________________________________
Timeskip
A month later you fall sick. Unusual for an Elf.
You lie in your bed, the cold sweat covers your skin. You are shivering and you can't seem to shake off this illness.
Even after all these weeks you still don't feel good.
Your brother notices your sick-state and comes to your room. His face is filled with worry.
"Are you okay, my brother?" he ask.
You want to answer him with something normal like "yes, I just feel a bit off today" but your words seem to freeze.
"Please try to get better..."
"Brother" you whisper as he takes your hand.
"Can i ask you some and you are honest to me?"
He nods.
"Sure, my brother. Everything for you."
He smiles softly and waits for your question.
"Have you seen Thranduil how is he?"
He looks at you surprised. His eyes get filled with worry.
"No...I haven't seen him...not today."
He looks at you. "Why? Is everything alright?"
"Why shouldn't it not?"
His eyes seem surprised.
"You know, you seem to have feelings for him."
He sighs gently. "I know you, my brother. I don't know if you know but I heard about you and him. I just want you to tell me the truth, please..."
He looks worried, while still smiling softly.
"father wanted to punish him, to protect him, i must hold the deal with father " you mumble.
"Is Father the reason why you cut that contact with him? To spare him?"
His facial expression seems more relaxed now.
"Is this what happened? My dear brother...you shouldn't have done that just to spare him. You are important too."
He seems more surprised now. "Father would never hurt him. He wants to teach him a lesson but he is no tyrant who wants to see someone hurt just because..."
He starts to speak more passionately now. "That is why I couldn't believe my words when I heard you broke contact with him."
"He is safe now, father will not hurt him or punish him as long as i don't talk or see him."
His eyes seem shocked again. "So you broke contact with him so that father would spare him?"
His voice seems worried. "Please, my brother...don't do this again. Don't sacrifice your own happiness like this. You are still young...you can't do something like this."
He looks into your red eyes again, worried and caring at the same time. "If you like Thranduil like you did before, it is fine with me. You can see him, talk to him."
He caresses your cheek in a reassuring way.
"I can't see him again, I would break the deal. He is safe now. As long as he is safe. I don't care about my feelings."
His eyes seem to be filled with worry again. "You can't do this, my brother..."
"Thranduil's safety wouldn't be in danger like this, you know that."
He caresses your cheek again and smiles slightly.
"I don't want you to suffer, my brother...please talk to father about this. Please don't let yourself suffer like this for no good reason."
He takes a deep breath and kisses your forehead.
You realize again that he is just worried about you and your pain.
"you haven't seen father as he told me to do that, also don't say how i should handle"
He still stares at you, his eyes filled with worry. He slowly nods.
He sits down on your bed and pats your place to signal you to sit next to him. You do so.
"You are right. I am sorry for telling you what to do in that situation...you are old enough to make your own decisions..."
His voice is filled with understanding.
He still stares at you and then speaks. "But my brother...your happiness is important. Please don't sacrifice it like this."
"I will think about it. But don't speak to father about it " you beg him.
He nods.
"No, I won't do that. Don't worry about it."
He smiles gently and caresses your cheek again.
"Try to sleep now and get some rest. You look still sick. Don't think about anything, my brother."
You quickly fall asleep beside your brother's care.
When you wake up, you realize that your illness has seemingly finally gone.
You feel a bit better now.
You look around and notice to your surprise that your brother is still with you.
He seems to sleep calmly while still caressing your cheek gently.
He seems to care so much for you.
________________________________
Timeskip
A month later. You still haven't changed your behavior.
You are getting colder day by day, you don't even notice it yourself anymore.
You even wonder what this emptiness that you feel right now might even mean as you never felt like this before.
You start to think that this might be what grief feels like, or at least a part of it.
You look at the empty spot in your life where Thranduil used to be and you can't stop but think of him, all the good memories you had when you were with him.
You start to miss him...a lot.
You are sitting in the place where you always watched Thranduil, hidden from everyone. You sit against a tree. You try to remember all the times you sat at this spot with Thranduil.
Your mind is filled with all of your moments together.
You smile but your eyes are watery.
The emptiness you feel right now...it is so big.
As you stare into the empty space beside you, a tear slowly runs down your cheek.
Suddenly you feel how your heart breaks again but this time you are really alone. You don't cry, but breathing gets difficult.
You feel the grief in your heart and try to hold it away.
You take deep and long breaths.
You try not to cry.
But all of the moments you shared together...all the memories you made...they all seem to be in the way of your efforts.
You can't help but think about him and you can't fight against the grief that fills your soul right now.
You feel a great emptiness in your heart, as if half of yourself isn't there anymore.
Your body can't hold you any longer upright and you lay on the ground.
You feel the ground and its soft touch against your skin but you still feel the sorrow and pain.
You close your eyes and lie down on the ground.
You don't want to get up anymore, you can't anymore.
The grief is overwhelming and you can't do anything against it.
You want to see him again, but you know you never will again.
The emptiness fills you more and more.
This is more pain than any wound could ever cause.
You hope that this is not happening.
You hope that it is just a bad dream and that you will wake up now.
Your eyes remain closed, you still try to ignore this feeling that is overwhelming you.
The grief is growing and it feels like this whole pain will consume you forever.
After sometime you manage to go back to your room but the next day you miss breakfast.
You try to get up but feel still too weak, the grief is overwhelming you and you fall back to your bed.
What is going on with you, why is your heart filled with all this pain?
This question runs through your head, you look at your clock. It already shows late afternoon, which is normal for you.
But you missed breakfast...and lunch.
Your head starts to hurt and you feel weak like never before. When you look at your hands and arms, you notice they have become thinner.
You close your eyes.
The grief is becoming unbearable.
Your heart feels like it is about to break.
In the darkness behind your eyes, all your memories of him flood you.
All the times you sat at this spot together.
All the times you were so happy when you were together.
All the moments that now seem impossible...
And then, the memories of how you broke contact with him start to appear again...
Your eyes fill with tears...
... and finally,
you fall asleep again.
Then your father comes into your room and tries to wake you up but you are unconscious.
He tries again and again to wake you.
"Child..." his voice seems worried.
He tries to shake your arm but you are completely unconscious.
He picks up your arm and realizes that it is really thin now.
The worry in his eyes turns into fear...
He quickly calls a healer.
The healer comes to you.
She checks your body and says "he is unconscious, but his pulse is very weak and I don't know if he will live long."
Your father's face is filled with fear and sadness.
"What..."
He gets a bit emotional now.
"My child is dying?"
The healer nods and puts her hand on your father's shoulder. "I am sorry that I have to tell you that this...this is a case of a broken heart. It is rare, but..."
Slowly your father realizes what he has done to you." Broken Heart" king Father whisper.
He still stares at you and can't believe this is happening.
All of this time, he acted as if this was all normal.
All the suffering he caused and the pain he caused you...
"Is there nothing else we can do?" He asks desperately. "There has to be a way!"
The healer stays silent and shakes her head slightly.
He looks at you again, his eyes filled with fear and sorrow.
It seems he only now realizes that he made a terrible mistake. Too late...
"He has a broken Heart right, can we not fix it, when we Get something or someone he longs for?” Father ask. Suddenly, his face lights up and he starts to think.
"Yes, it is possible. The heart can heal itself but we need something to fix this. If we give him what he longs for, his heart can definitely be healed."
He starts to run out.
"I have an idea!" he says. "But you stay here with my Child, okay? I will be back!"
The healer nods and stays with you.
You lie there unconscious while you hear the commotion around you.
Your eyes still closed.
Minutes pass and you suddenly hear the door opening.
You notice your father, he looks really happy about his idea.
He comes closer to you.
You still can hear the healer speak but do not quite understand what she says.
Then you hear someone else's voice.
"My love..?"
You hear his voice and your finger slightly twitch, still unconscious.
You feel someone touching your fingers, you even feel his breath.
"My love...can you hear me?" a beautiful voice asks.
"My love... please wake up...it's me, Thranduil."
You open your eyes slightly and look at him.
He smiles brightly at your pale face.
"My love...how are you?" he asks.
He is filled with joy now for the first time in a month.
"I'm dreaming again?" You whisper weakly.
He gently takes your hand and caresses your cheek.
"No my love, this is no dream. I am here with you."
He smiles slightly and looks at you.
"But you...you don't look well. Are you alright?"
He stares at you and you notice the worry in his eyes.
Your eyes travel through the room and land on your father. Immediately your heart stops for a second and you move your hand away from Thranduil.
Your eyes fill with distrust and fear at this moment.
You feel this big emptiness in your heart again as you stare at your father.
Your heart starts to fill with pain again as you stare at him.
Suddenly you feel another hand on your own.
You quickly turn to Thranduil who is still holding your hand.
His face is filled with love as he stares at you.
"My love, please look at me again." he says.
He caresses his thumb over your finger.
"My little butterfly...please don't be afraid."
"I'm not breaking the deal" you whisper desperate and breathless, hoping your father understands that and will not hurt Thranduil. Father looks guilty for what he has done to you.
As you try to stand up, your legs slump away.
Thranduil quickly supports you as you almost fall down.
You try to stand up but you are simply too weak.
He holds you closely in his arms and caresses your cheek.
"Easy...no need to stand up, my love."
His voice is filled with love and you feel your heart beating faster again.
Your father looks at you and still can't believe the whole situation.
"S..Son..." he starts.
He is really torn.
He seems to feel sorry for what he has done to you.
Your head turns to him. You see this guilt in his eyes. He looks back at you.
He can't even find words right now, it seems he doesn't know how to deal with this.
He feels ashamed and that shows in his eyes.
"T...this is all my fault..." he says with a shaky voice.
He looks at Thranduil and then at you, his eyes filled with grief for what he has caused you.
“I'm so sorry, my child. I will spare him forever, I'm breaking the deal and there will be no consequences for you or Thranduil.” your father says softly and also guilty.
Your eyes slowly travel over to Thranduil, missed his presence.
The moment you look at Thranduil, your heart starts to beat faster, slowly filling with warmth again.
Your eyes meet his own...you are lost in his eyes.
He looks like a god you can't believe is real.
You forget about your father completely as you only focus on this beautiful face in front of you.
Your arms start to move up and you want to touch his face but you still lie in your bed, so weak that you don't even know if that would be a good idea.
Thranduil stares back at you, his face bright with love as he strokes your hair.
He smiles warmly and seems really happy for the first time in the last month.
He still can't believe you are there again.
"My love...I am so glad you are letting me back in. I missed you, the last months were really hard...but I am so happy that you are here again and that we can make everything right."
He can't stop his warm smile and holds you tightly.
He starts to kiss your cheek again.
As you look at Thranduil again, you notice how much he still loves you.
He looks at you and smiles gently.
His face is filled with relief as he notices you looking at him again.
It seems he misses you a lot.
And there appears another question in your mind again:
How could you break contact with him just to spare him?
This question just floats through your mind while you stare at Thranduil. Your eyes remain fixed on his while you can feel his touch on your hand.
Your eyes fill with joy and love as you look at him. There is nothing like his presence by your side.
You smile softly and caress his cheek.
He looks at you gently and caresses your other cheek.
"Butterfly..." he whispers and you feel his breath tickling your ear.
He starts to lean closer and then gives you a kiss.
You feel his breath again and your heart starts to beat faster. Your mind is filled with thoughts and it seems you can't focus on something else at this moment.
The only person you want to see at the moment is Thranduil.
You miss him, you miss his warmth and his love.
He still holds you in his arms and caresses your cheek.
"I missed you, my little butterfly."
He kisses your forehead gently while looking at you.
His presence is so calming and right now you only want to be in his arms and nowhere else.
Thranduil still supports you with one hand.
He caresses your cheek with his other hand and smiles at you.
“I'm so sorry, Thranduil. I just wanted to protect you.” You whisper guilty, with tears in your eyes.
“I forgive you, I now know you have just done that to protect me. I'm a Guard of your father but something you want to protect.” He answers soothing.
"I missed you a lot, my love." he says.
He pulls your body a bit closer to him.
"I never want to be alone again… never want to be separated from you again..." he whispers.
He is completely honest with you at this moment and you notice that you can't believe how much he loves you.
He just wants to be with you and it seems like he doesn't need anything else in the whole world...except for you.
Thranduil notices your eyes and looks at you.
He caresses your cheek and smiles.
He can't believe that you are now together again.
He looks at you while keeping one of your hands.
He strokes your hair.
"My love...we are together again."
His eyes shine, he still can't believe it.
He looks at your father and then at you.
Thranduil looks back at you, his eyes filled with love.
You take a deep breath and the pain that fills your heart becomes a bit bearable.
The emptiness is still there but Thranduil 's love is taking away most of it.
You smile slightly.
"My love." you whisper finally.
He looks at you. "My love." he whispers and then kisses your forehead gently.
He caresses your cheek and takes your hand in his again.
Thranduil still holds you and caresses your hair gently.
You can see the love and worry in his eyes.
He seems to be happy to see you awake but is also concerned for your health.
He looks at you with care.
You miss his presence like never before.
These months without him filled you with emptiness and this emptiness still fills you at this very moment.
He stares into your eyes while still feeling the warmth of his breath.
It will take you a while to be completely healthy again, but with Thranduil by your side, you will become stronger day by day and will soon be yourself again.
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