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chrisevansdaughter · 2 years

Note

Hey!! I love the stuff u write any chris evans!! I was wondering if you could write for him and sister reader where she gets fainting spells but one day faints in the car when Chris is driving ! :) thanks hope ur doing okayy

The story of how I scared America's Golden Boy to death.

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Paring: Chris x Sister! Reader

Warnings: Fainting, mentions of fainting spells, low iron *hehe me in a nutshell*, Chris is the best concerned big brother, anxiety on Chris' part and mild swearing.

Summary: Y/n suffers from fainting spells due to iron deficiency anaemia and has a spell whilst Chris is driving, even though he thought Y/n was sleeping for a hot minute.

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So I'm y/n and well I would say having a deficiency in iron is fun but let me tell you it's not.

Now let me tell you about the time I scared the absolute life out of my older brother Chris it is a funny story to tell but it wasn't fun for me because fainting is not fun in anyway.

You and Chris were always two peas in a pod, the Evans sibling duo when he found out that you were anaemic he got a little bit more protective of his sister than he already was. Like he could get anymore protective but here we are. Always making sure you were taking your meds, not overdoing it and when you need it resting and eating the right food because fatigue hit you hard, fainting did too.

Now the brief backstory is over let's get to the fateful day that lead to this story that scared the shit out of everyone's beloved America's ass.

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You felt faint when you woke up, fatigue swamping your body convincing your brain to shut your eyes in order to wash away the feeling but you had to get up Chris and I had a whole day planned, sibling bonding time was the best since he was always away, it was time that I loved and cherished so much. It just sucked that being anaemic gets in the way sometimes, you can do everything right and it still goes to shit.

You just went about your day with Chris acting like nothing was wrong and that you were absolutely fine right because you were.

Right?

You couldn't be more wrong, Chris did think you were a bit off since you were always dancing whilst you made breakfast together which you always did when he was home.

"Bubs, you feeling okay today come 'ere" Chris spoke softly opening his arms for y/n to join him in an embrace

"Mmhmm just feeling a little tired I guess" I replied stifling a yawn in Chris' chest

"Did you take your meds today baby?, Not feeling too dizzy?" Chris replied

cough cough protective brother mode activated

"Yeah I did take my meds, but I do feel a bit dizzy but nothing more than usual. Can we go for a drive with Dodger?" I asked just wanting to get out of the house.

"Of course bubs, you go get yourself ready and I'll meet you in the car" Chris replied loudly since I was already walking away.

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15 minutes into the drive that feeling you know all too well, the likes of Billy Joel & Lana Del Ray swirled through your ears, and all the turns of the roads spun your head tenfold.

Hoping the inevitable wouldn't happen the anxiety bubbled in your stomach causing the faint feeling to become evermore present, soon that feeling did take over your brain on autopilot.

Eyes stooping to a close.

Body going slack.

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Now you might ask is this the part of the story where I scare the shit out of America's golden boy, yes yes it is.

I thought y/n was being a bit too quiet for my liking, I glance over to the passenger side of the car noticing y/n was sleeping.

Calling her name, she didn't respond. That’s strange because she’s a light sleeper. Anxiety started to run ramped in my body not wanting anything to be wrong with my baby sister. I pulled over knowing I had to check on her, my full undivided attention on her which in this case was very needed.

Safely pulled over, I jogged over to the passenger side to wake y/n up believing that she fainted since it clicked how she said she was dizzy this morning and was just really off.

"Bubs wake up for me come on open those eyes, I've gotta see those eyes," I said rubbing her arm.

"Chrissy, what- what happened?" y/n slowly woke up visibly confused as to why I was now by her side of the car, door open, and the car stopped.

"You fainted baby, you feel a little better? Because I thought you were just sleeping." I said slightly chuckling as to why it didn't click because dizzy spells weren't a strange thing for y/n.

"Oh- okay, I'm tired," she said giving me a hug and snuggling into my chest.

"Let's get you home then bug, we can watch something and you can snuggle in my bed if you want to," I replied knowing all too well that would happen anyway

"mmm, okay sounds good" y/n replied somewhat back to herself.

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So this is just how y/n's life went with anaemia and with overprotective America's golden boy that was her meatball brother.

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Hey! Everyone I hope you enjoy this fic and to the anon who requested this, thank you so much for this idea. This is also a personal one for me too I have anaemia so I thought with the whole fainting thing it was fitting, I hope you all love it <3

#chrisevansdaughter #chris evans #chris evans daughter #chris evans x reader #fluff #chris evans headcanon #chrisevansdaughter anons #chrisevansdaughter answers #chrisevansdaughter asks #✨ anon #chris x sister reader #chris evans x sister reader

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trenchcoatsbi · 5 months

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hey y'all, found out i'm Another non-canon kin! woo!

like. i was a member of the SBI. in the dsmp, i think. we were definitely closer than they were canonically! (like Phil called all of us his kids :])

various things that happened that i can remember:

- i was a piglin hybrid in the age range of 13-15. i was TINY. (5'1")

- i had. Chirp Disc. wanted to be like Tom :]

- during The Betrayal, i was off in the Nether getting potion materials. came back and found out My Whole Family Had Dead. it was Not a good day.

- Pogtopia sure was. A Time. we'll leave it at that for now.

- Fuck Exile, All My Homies HATE Exile (boy oh boy, my older brother's dead and my family is in shambles due to grief! i'm sure this can't get any wor- OH COME THE FUCK ON)

- Techno and Phil didn't blow L'manberg up, but Someone sure as fuck did!

- after everything went down, i kinda just bounced between Techno's place, Snowchester, and Las Nevadas.

- Wilbur Came Back Wrong. he just seemed...empty and scared when he came back. he flinched at his own shadow a lot. he didn't even Sleep for a week, he was scared that, if he did, he'd just wake up back in limbo. he didn't think anything was real.

- i think Wilbur tried to rebuild L'manberg in a way. not as a country necessarily. just like a little place for us to come to rest if we needed.

- i think Fundy and Wil made up at some point?

- i remember that i'd sleep in Wilbur's bed some nights, just because. i think he needed it more than me. besides, i missed it anyway. felt nice.

- uh this is getting long and i don't have a lot of clear mems from this point on, but my reaction to most things in a nutshell: Can Shit Stop Happening, I'm Trying To Garden Over Here.

so yeah, just letting you know all that :]

- 💙🐏

oh coolio that’s an intrsting kintype mate! thanks for sharing!

#phil posts #sbi asks #💙🐏 anon

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tsarinatorment · 2 years

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Bonjour ;) so you mentioned in your analysis of Nico & Apollo’s relationship that there’s reason to believe Apollo and Artemis knew about Nico and Bianca being Hades’ children right from the start and… I was wondering if you’d be willing to elaborate 👀

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to elaborate" says the person who listens to me talk their ear off about this and various other theories in the toa discord all the time ahaha. Of course I'm willing to elaborate, I just gotta get my thoughts into some sort of conceivable order here because there is. A Lot. This is, as always with my theory essays, quite long.

So, I'm just gonna broadly title this the Twin Archers and the di Angelos, because that's as narrowed down as this is gonna get, and we will be having some side appearances from Thalia as well because she's not unrelated to this whole thing, either.

So, what is my theory? In a nutshell, it is that Apollo and Artemis know who Bianca and Nico's father is right from the start, but there's a lot of nuance to this. There's a few places I could start this, but I'll begin with the emergence of the di Angelos from the Lotus Casino (we'll go back in time a little later, because the 1930s will be relevant!).

But first, before we even get as far as the di Angelos on the scene at all, I want to talk about the Great Prophecy and Big Three Kids - specifically Big Three Daughters. I did briefly go over this in the Nico&Apollo post I made a while back, but this time I'll go more in depth. The great prophecy explicitly states a half-blood of the eldest gods, shall reach sixteen against all odds. Now, while this could literally mean about half the pantheon (Aphrodite is stated in HOO to be older than the Big Three, Hestia, Demeter and Hera are also the same generation as their brothers - and Demeter has demigod children), for presumably reasons only Apollo has any hope of understanding, this is known to be specifically referencing a Big Three Kid. This means Big Three Kids basically have a lovely prophecy about death hanging over their heads, and we know Apollo and Artemis don't like demigods dying (their domains are literally about protecting children, it goes against who they are to let kids die no matter what lies Apollo tried to get us to believe at the start of TOA).

Obviously, the Oath is in place to stop this happening, but firstly I don't think anyone believed the rather promiscuous Zeus or Poseidon was ever going to be able to keep that for eternity, even if Hades might, and secondly, it's a Great Prophecy. At some point, it's coming true, whether they like it or not, which means at some point there will be some more Big Three Kids around.

Quite frankly, the sons of the Big Three are straight out of luck. They're either going to die young, or they're going to turn sixteen and, according to the prophecy, die then. There's very little that Apollo or Artemis can do to help the sons (although Apollo clearly tries - see fsinger's own essay on how Apollo is responsible for demigod dreams, especially Percy's). Artemis even says this:

"Bianca, this is crazy," I said. "What about your brother? Nico can't be a Hunter." "Certainly not," Artemis agreed. "He will go to camp. Unfortunately, that's the best boys can do."

It's phrased as being derogatory (not helped by Percy taking it that way), but taking away the anti-boy bias and reading it as a statement of fact - the safest place for boys is Camp Half-Blood, while girls have the option of functional immortality, if they want to take it.

The daughters, however... that's another kettle of fish entirely. Daughters have an opt-out clause, and it's called joining the Hunters of Artemis. As we see with Thalia, this stops their aging process for the purposes of the prophecy, neatly keeping them alive and also skipping the prophecy.

Looking at it this way, suddenly the Hunt's attempts to recruit Thalia back before she reached CHB, despite her having the sorts of attachments that frankly make her unsuitable to be a Hunter (her close relationship with Luke) and would normally mean she was never on their radar, makes sense - if Thalia joins the Hunt, she escapes the prophecy (which she eventually does).

"The Hunters tried to recruit you," I guessed. Her eyes got dangerously bright. I thought she was going to zap me out of the Mercedes, but she just sighed. I almost joined them," she admitted. "Luke, Annabeth, and I ran into them once, and Zoe tried to convince me. She almost did, but…" "But?" Thalia's fingers gripped the wheel. "I would've had to leave Luke."

Note that Artemis specifically says about her Hunters being before they 'go astray' aka get boy-obsessed.

"I could appear as a grown woman, or a blazing fire, or anything else I want, but this is what I prefer. This is the average age of my Hunters, and all young maidens for whom I am patron, before they go astray." "Go astray?" I asked. "Grow up. Become smitten with boys. Become silly, preoccupied, insecure. Forget themselves."

This being Artemis' reasoning behind her recruitment drive of Thalia also explains why she's so happy to accept Thalia into the Hunt at the end of TTC, despite Thalia's reasoning being very clearly the selfish need to escape the prophecy. Yes, there's the Luke backdrop to it, too, but Thalia is not subtle about her reasoning, and this is the sort of self-centredness that ordinarily would not fly with Artemis, because Thalia is using the Hunt for her own gain.

"Father," she said. "I will not turn sixteen tomorrow. I will never turn sixteen. I won't let this prophecy be mine. I stand with my sister Artemis. Kronos will never tempt me again."

She explicitly says she refuses to be the child of prophecy and wants to stop aging, and yet Artemis still welcomes her in with open arms.

So, with one Big Three Daughter out of the way, let's talk about the other one. Bianca di Angelo, who is on Artemis' radar for at least a while before she introduces herself.

How do we know this? Firstly, the Hunters have been hanging around the general vicinity for a while - they make gentle advances towards Annabeth (I say gentle because Annabeth only had a pamphlet and clearly hadn't either been snapped up instantly or pressured so much she was turned off the idea like Thalia was) - and they are very quick to show up once Dr Thorn makes his move. Fast enough, actually, that there's some confusion from the characters about how they happened to be there in time (Grover ends up suggesting it was because they were trailing Annabeth, but that doesn't feel like a solid reason for them to be in the area when Annabeth clearly isn't a priority of theirs).

Secondly, there's this little exchange between Artemis and Nico:

Artemis considered the boy. "Perhaps you can show Grover how to play that card game you enjoy. I'm sure Grover would be happy to entertain you for a while… as a favor to me?"

If she's literally just met Nico, how does she know it's a card game? Yes, he's been gushing at her about it, but he never mentions cards (in fact, from the way he describes it with movement and stuff, it sounds more like a board game than anything else), yet Artemis knows exactly what it is. Mythomagic doesn't seem like the sort of thing that'd really be on her radar, though.

Other, less explicit hints include the implication that they haven't been attacked all year, but were attacked on the streets before that, "last summer".

Bianca di Angelo shivered. "That explains… Nico, you remember last summer, those guys who tried to attack us in the alley in DC?" "And that bus driver," Nico said. "The one with the ram's horns. I told you that was real."

Even Dr Thorn couldn't pick them out until the other demigods appeared and started showing interest in them, despite being powerful (and them also having a powerful scent), but before they were in the school, things were hunting them down pretty easily (although failing to do any actual damage, it seems). There's an implication there that they were being somehow shielded while at the school, and while Hades would be the obvious answer... if that was the case, why wasn't he shielding them on the streets?

(Remember that Artemis is the protector of young maidens and Apollo is the protector of the young.)

Even the fact that Artemis instructs the Hunters to get Nico's stuff as well as Bianca's, despite the Hunters under Zoe being very anti-boy and wanting nothing to do with any of them, implies that she, at least, is remembering Nico's existence.

Then we have the recruitment drive from Artemis and Zoe, which is really very heavy-handed. Artemis intentionally and immediately separates Bianca from the others before they can start extolling Camp Half-Blood to her and manipulates a confused and upset Bianca into joining the Hunt. It's harsh, not at all fair on any of the characters (Bianca was in no mental position to make that sort of decision, Nico didn't deserve to have his sister torn away from him like that), but the one thing it does for certain is takes Bianca out of the running for the Great Prophecy before any of the rest of the characters realised she was in the running for it at all.

So, that's Artemis' actions making a lot more sense all of a sudden. Now for Apollo.

I went into Apollo's interactions with Nico in great depth in a previous essay so I won't rehash that here. The only part of that that's directly relevant is Apollo's refusal to let Nico drive the chariot, despite Nico being very eager to do so, and yes, the fact that he is a ten year old child is a factor in that, but also Zeus would be super-mad if a son of Hades started controlling the sun chariot (even though the sun chariot is technically Apollo's domain and not Zeus', although we know Zeus doesn't care about that - look at the way he's muscled Apollo completely out of any jurisdiction over CHB, despite Apollo being its patron god, something else I will gladly talk about at some point if there's interest!).

But. Let's look at the whole sun chariot thing, shall we, because Apollo's sheer insistence that Thalia drive also makes a lot more sense under this theory. Yes, on the surface it looks like Apollo being obnoxious and not taking no for an answer the way gods tend to do, but when we look a little deeper (especially with TOA under our belts, where we have a much better understanding of how Apollo works), there's a couple of things that stand out.

Firstly, there are four Big Three Kids in that sun chariot. Four of them, and Zeus wants all of them dead aside from his own daughter (and even Thalia is not safe from Zeus if he decides otherwise... see him throwing the lightning bolt at them later in TTC, presumably as a warning for her to not turn against him in Zeus' typical rule-through-fear method). Quite frankly, Apollo was no doubt absolutely terrified at that many Big Three Kids in the chariot - Zeus has proven in the past that he can and will blast it from the sky if he wants.

"Don't sweat it! Maine to Long Island is a really short trip, and don't worry about what happened to the last kid I trained. You're Zeus's daughter. He's not going to blast you out of the sky."

Apollo even makes a point of this, so we know it was on his mind.

Second, the implication here is that Apollo himself isn't certain the chariot won't be struck if he's the one driving, despite it being his own domain - and considering Zeus' paranoia surrounding Apollo and the fact he's clearly watching for Apollo to do something that makes him seem like he's rebelling (proven by how quickly he slams the blame for the events of HOO straight onto Apollo even though everything he punishes Apollo for, with the exception of talking to Octavian, wasn't Apollo's doing at all), Apollo probably isn't wrong about that. Gathering so many powerful kids into his chariot would have Zeus' paranoia sky-high, so to speak.

So, his solution? Put Thalia in the driving seat. Thalia is a daughter of Zeus, and Zeus always treats his daughters better (see Artemis and Athena vs Apollo), and it also forces Zeus to choose, because if he does blast the sun chariot while Thalia is driving, it clearly looks like it's Thalia he's punishing, not Apollo (or even the other Big Three Kids). It's a clever little bit of manipulation by Apollo, albeit with the downside of Thalia's height phobia (and did Apollo know about that? Honestly, he might have done, and while it does feel unusually cruel of rr!Apollo to do that, when his option is make Thalia face her fear or all the mortals (plus Artemis' Hunters) get killed by Zeus... it's very much the lesser evil).

The Twins' actions during the start of the book are heavily geared towards the protection of the di Angelos - Artemis takes Bianca into her Hunt, while Apollo personally escorts Nico straight to Camp, which is something it's implied very few demigods get (by which I mean any actual godly escort; this is the only known case where they're not just escorted by a satyr). Could this all have been Artemis' planning without Apollo involved? Theoretically I suppose that could be argued, but my personal view is no, no it could not. Firstly, the Twins seem to be in each other's radar a lot, to the point where Artemis striking out alone seems to necessitate her telling Apollo she's going alone:

Artemis grit her teeth. "I need a favor. I have some hunting to do, alone. I need you to take my companions to Camp Half-Blood."

Yes, Apollo says just before this: "What's up? You never call. You never write. I was getting worried!", and seems to roll with it just fine, but this is where some of the TOA characterisation comes into play. Apollo is a pathological liar when the situation calls for it, and as already stated, Zeus is paranoid and has his eye on Apollo - which Apollo knows. He can't admit out loud anywhere that he might actually be planning things with Artemis - also, note that he never says that he hasn't seen her recently. It's implied, but that's how Apollo constructs his best lies, by dancing around the truth (it's not like Artemis needs to call or write if she's seeing him regularly, anyway!). It's more likely that he's talking about the fact that he knows she's planning something but she hasn't shared what - that is what is likely actually worrying him, if the declaration of worry is genuine underneath the façade (add in Artemis' next words that she's going hunting alone and it makes it sound like her not working with Apollo is a rarity).

Secondly, we're never shown her actually calling Apollo; the whole encounter feels less spur-of-the-moment and more planned in advance. Yes, she claims she's summoning a ride from him, but all we're shown is her looking east expectantly, complaining about Apollo being lazy in winter, and knowing that dawn (and therefore her brother) is on the way. No, she hasn't told Apollo what she's up to next, which Apollo makes a point to complain about, but the "get the demigods to camp" part of this seems pre-arranged.

Once Nico is at CHB, he's as safe as he can be, and most importantly, he's on the radar of Chiron, Dionysus, and several demigods. Zeus might have been able to zap him if he was alone and unknown without being caught, but now he's been drawn fully into the demigod world, Nico has been protected from Zeus finishing what he started way back when. (This protection extends even after TTC, when Nico runs off, because Nico spends most of his time either in the Underworld or the Labyrinth, which are both areas outside of Zeus' direct influence, and also because he's getting on the radar of more and more gods. Zeus' window of opportunity to quietly finish off the di Angelos without inciting any major backlash has been slammed shut by the Twins' actions, leaving them in the same tentative security that Percy has.)

So, there's the why of this theory, based on canon. But what about the how?

There are two hows in question here. How #1 is how did Apollo and Artemis know they were Hades' children, and How #2 is how did they know before the rest of the gods (which they must have done in able to get them to safety before Zeus intervened).

I'll start with How #1: How did the Twins know they were Hades' kids?

There are a couple of answers to this question. The first, and most obvious one, is that they recognised them as such on sight. Nico is known to look similar to Hades, and while the likes of Percy can be forgiven for not putting two and two together because he's only met Hades the once, other characters, like the gods, would see the resemblance.

Alternatively, they remembered them from the 1930s/40s. The timeline is somewhat inconsistent on exactly when the di Angelos ended up in the Lotus Casino, and the only concrete information we have is that it was contemporary with WWII, but that's still less than a century and to gods, that's no time at all. Apollo himself tells us in TOA that he has perfect recall, which makes sense being the god of knowledge, so the Twins recognising these children as the same children of Hades who disappeared (at the same time the pythia of Delphi was cursed, no less) is more likely than not. In fact, I'd go as far as to argue that it would make no sense for them not to recognise them.

But, why would they know the di Angelo kids in the first place? It's not like the gods pay attention to demigods prior to their arrival at CHB (and even then, it's only barely), and them being known seems unlikely as a general rule, but there are some key points to recall. First is that they are Big Three Kids. They're more powerful than regular demigods (Grover helpfully tells us this when they're first introduced, even though they still didn't twig until the end of the book about their parentage), and more likely to be on the other gods' radar. Second is the time period - we know that WWII, in Riordanverse, was a war between Big Three Kids, so the gods would be actively looking out for other Big Three Kids, especially children of Hades, as his son (presumably Hitler and other high-ranking associates, although I don't recall him ever being explicitly named, just that a few of Hades' children were leaders of the bad guys) is the antagonist. From the way Hades talks in TLO, it seems like the di Angelo siblings are his only children younger than sixteen at the time:

"When you and your sister were young, it was a bad time to be children of Hades. World War II was brewing. A few of my, ah, other children were leading the losing side. I thought it best to put you two out of harm's way."

They were certainly on Zeus' radar (after all, Zeus is the one who tried to kill them, and did kill Maria), but there's also another god who had to know, and that's Apollo.

"I warned you," a new voice said. Hades turned. A girl in a multicolored dress stood by the smoldering remains of the sofa. She had short black hair and sad eyes. She was no more than twelve. I didn't know her, but she looked strangely familiar. "You dare come here?" Hades growled. "I should blast you to dust!" "You cannot," the girl said. "The power of Delphi protects me." With a chill, I realized I was looking at the Oracle of Delphi, back when she was alive and young. Somehow, seeing her like this was even spookier than seeing her as a mummy. "You've killed the woman I loved!" Hades roared. "Your prophecy brought us to this.'" He loomed over the girl, but she didn't flinch. "Zeus ordained the explosion to destroy the children," she said, "because you defied his will. I had nothing to do with it. And I did warn you to hide them sooner."

While Apollo himself is never mentioned by name in relation to this scene, the pythia of Delphi - his Oracle - makes an appearance, not for the first time, apparently. She went out off her way to warn Hades specifically about protecting Bianca and Nico earlier; there is no feasible way that she could have known about the di Angelos if Apollo didn't (in fact, it wouldn't be out of the question to consider that Apollo saw the danger to the di Angelos and sent her himself, after all we know Apollo doesn't like demigod deaths), which means that Apollo had to know of their existence.

And if Apollo knew, Artemis probably did, too.

So, that's how they knew who the di Angelos were. Now, onto How #2: how did they know before the rest of the gods (or at least, Zeus), when they emerged from the Lotus Casino?

There are two possibilities for this. One is that Apollo happened to see Alecto retrieving them from the sun chariot - in fact, I'd argue that this would have been the case regardless of whether or not option two is also true, because Apollo can see everything from there, and that would give him the exact timing.

Two is that Apollo foresaw their re-emergence. We don't know the exact limits of Apollo's foresight. He doesn't give us any straight answers on that during TOA at all; the closest we get is this, which is also so early on in the narration that the truthfulness of it is somewhat up in the air (I am inclined to believe him because of his knowledge and prophecy domains, but the potential for a lie or exaggeration is certainly there):

Had I been my usual omniscient self, I could have gleaned Meg’s destiny. I could have looked into her soul and seen all I needed to know about her godly parentage, her powers, her motives and secrets.

There's also a lot of hints towards this in TTC, around the sun chariot ride:

Apollo studied me, but he didn't say anything, which I found a little creepy. "Well!" he said at last.

and

He winked at me. "Watch out for those prophecies, Percy. I'll see you soon." "What do you mean?" Instead of answering, he hopped back in the bus. "Later, Thalia," he called. "And, uh, be good!" He gave her a wicked smile, as if he knew something she didn't.

as well as later on in the book:

Apollo chuckled. "Fast enough. Unfortunately, we're running out of time. It's almost sunset. But I imagine we'll get you across a good chunk of America, at least." "But where is Artemis?" His face darkened. "I know a lot, and I see a lot. But even I don't know that. She's… clouded from me. I don't like it."

The implications are there that Apollo really does see a lot, more than I think we could actually properly comprehend as mere mortals who only see the here and now (I know my mind breaks when I try and conceptualise how much Apollo might actually know but hasn't happened yet, or might happen, or might have happened but didn't because there's a degree of fluidity and change in the future because nothing is set in stone until it happens), which means it is well within all likelihood that he saw the di Angelos leaving the Lotus Casino with enough warning to come up with a plan to protect them once they did. Add in the fact that Nico, at least, is intrinsically tied to the Great Prophecy, and it would make a lot of sense for Apollo to see a major point in his life like this one.

And Nico is intrinsically tied. Right from the end of TTC, it's blatant. Percy claimed the prophecy for his own because he refused to pass it on to Nico, in a parallel to Thalia, who blatantly dodged it and tossed the baton straight at Percy.

"I don't need forever," I said. "Just two years. Until I'm sixteen." Annabeth paled. "But, Percy, this means the prophecy might not be about you. It might be about Nico. We have to—" "No," I said. "I choose the prophecy. It will be about me." "Why are you saying that?" she cried. "You want to be responsible for the whole world?" It was the last thing I wanted, but I didn't say that. I knew I had to step up and claim it. "I can't let Nico be in any more danger," I said. "I owe that much to his sister. I… let them both down. I'm not going to let that poor kid suffer any more."

Then, of course, we have the Curse of Achilles, which is what kept Percy alive long enough to make the choice - that was Nico's idea and Nico's doing - and Nico being the one to convince Hades to join the fight to save Olympus. Nico was not the prophecy child, although Annabeth (and Hades, in TLO) is right to say that he could have been, but he still made major decisions and influenced Percy dramatically, which had a direct knock-on effect to the resolution of the prophecy when it happened.

With this in mind, it seems that if there's any character that Apollo would have a front-row seat to the possible destiny (or destinies) of, it's Nico di Angelo.

So, there you have it. That's why I think the Twins knew about the di Angelos' parentage right from the start, and also the logistics behind them knowing in the first place. It puts their canon actions in a whole new, and frankly far more realistic, light when we look at it this way - or at least, I think so.

#fearlessinger #nico di angelo #bianca di angelo #pjo apollo #pjo artemis #thalia grace #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #riordanverse #rrverse #tsari analyses things

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askthenewdigitalcircus · 6 months

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This is an ask blog based around my Digital Circus next gen AU

I guess I should go ahead and explain the characters who will be the major focus of this blog

Pomni: Once a very anxious jester, Pomni is now the new ringmaster of the digital circus and is married to Ragatha. Caine served as a sort of mentor for Pomni as she got more adjusted to being in the digital world. When she becomes accepting of her fate, Caine retires and lets Pomni take over as the new ringmaster (in a nutshell this is literally the Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia situation but with The Amazing Digital Circus). Pomni is Anni’s mother and she is very understanding of her daughter’s anxiety as she had gone through it herself years ago

Ragatha: Ragatha is Pomni’s wife and Anni’s mother. She is still the sweet optimistic doll she’s always been and she’ll often put her daughter in dresses based off of 70s and 80s ragdolls, much to the dismay of Anni but she loves her mother nonetheless

Anni: Anni is the daughter of Pomni and Ragatha. She is the anxious ragdoll jester of the circus and she goes on crazy adventures with her friends

Kandi: Kandi is a pink cat with wings made entirely of candy who quite frankly has her own little shop in the circus grounds called “Kandi’s Sweetery”. She specializes is making sweet treats and she is always enthusiastic and very friendly to everyone she meets. She is married to Sox and has two children, a son named Saito and a daughter named Katti that she loves more than anything else

Sox: Sox is a pink and white Venezuelan pup with anger issues who is married to Kandi and is the mother of Saito and Katti. She is highly protective of her family and will stop at nothing to keep them safe. She is fluent in both English and Spanish, speaking in a very faint accent and she even found a loophole that allows her to swear in Spanish without it being censored

Saito: Saito is the son of Kandi and Sox who is a few minutes older than his twin sister. He is temperamental and moody but he also cares about his sister and will do anything in his power to keep her safe

Katti: Katti is the daughter of Kandi and Sox who is a few minutes younger than her twin brother. She is very outgoing and cheerful, always eager to go on adventures with her brother and her two best friends

Keke: Keke is a wolf with brown fur and hazel eyes who is an artist with ADHD and autism that gets flustered easily around her wife Jinx. She is June’s mother and she taught her daughter everything she knows about drawing and art, knowing that June would one day be a very talented artist just like her

Jinx: Jinx is a female version of Jax and Keke’s wife who is flirty at times but she is also just as sarcastic as her male counterpart. She’s also June’s mother and although she teases her daughter sometimes, she genuinely cares for June and wants nothing but the best for her little girl

June: June is the daughter of Keke and Jinx who is a very introverted and shy wolf/rabbit hybrid who often keeps to herself and draws in her sketchbook. Whenever she starts getting really anxious, she hugs her purple stuffed lamb Lilac for comfort and to keep herself from having a panic attack. She keeps Lilac and all of her art supplies in her bag whenever she heads out to spend time with her small group of friends

That is pretty much everything about the AU that you should know so ask away and don’t be afraid to request me to draw your Digital Circus kiddos interacting with Anni, Saito, Katti, and June

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aannonn · 6 months

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[jshk] Chapter 107 thoughts!

CHAPTER 107 FINALLY RELEASED!! I haven't thought of making an post about my thoughts to it but eh- here we are xD

sharing this moment because tsukasa getting punched in the face is something we never saw before and i love it

I love how patient and welcoming Tsukasa is with Baby Nene…

And, dang- It even feels like Tsukasa and Nene's personalities have been switched- Baby Tsukasa was so patient and kind and calm, while Baby Nene is being so impatient and irritating and energetic xD

Meanwhile; Older Nene is calmer, more mature (and immature at times…) and patient, while older Tsukasa is more chaotic, manic and impatient lol

I really love this stark contrast between their personalities and it just forces the idea of how similar they both are. They are both chaotic in their own way and I love them❤

It seems to me that he made the situation worse by entertaining her.. Don't worry Tsukasa, u got this!

I usually dislike kids for various reasons, but I can't help the fact that seeing kids being as excited and energetic as Nene is right now it's adorable and so comforting- lol

Done. Just like that. I know I'm like- way super mega extra more powerful than her but like- No. I'm done. I hate kids. - This panel Tsukasa in a nutshell.

Alr but Nene playing around with the Koku-Joudais is so cute-- Poor Koku-Joudai though lol

This. This right here. Is what made me incredibly happy. I love this panel. My favorite panel of this chapter now.

They both love singing. They both know how to sing. their VA's know how to sing. And they are both singing together.

AAAAAAA THIS PANEL MAKES ME SO HAPPYYY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH😭🌺

Genuinely can't wait for the anime to finally have its reboot some day.. And see those panels getting animated! AAAA

Nene looks like she's softening towards Tsukasa.. That's good. Does this mean they will have a good relationship in the future? (That is, if Nene remembers what happened when she turned into a child)…

Maybe. All that’s left is to wait and dream.

My second favorite panel for sure. Tsukasa just looks so calm and at peace, while Nene looks like she's fascinated to finally get to know this side of Tsukasa that she's never even heard of.

They're both just enjoying each other's company and, of course, loving singing Over The Rainbow together...

Those are the little things that makes this whole panel be my second favorite.

Tsukasa-

thats not how you should hold kids-

uhm okay

MIRAAAAII

She's here, she's there, she's everywhere! (who understood the reference? lol)

Nothing much. I just love this side eye that Tsukasa is throwing at Mirai.

Idkk its just- He looks so cool lol

Poor Nene tho- Seems like Kou influenced Tsukasa to hold kids like that xD (Tsukasa is a lil' bit more brutal about it though...)

Once again; Nothing much. Mirai just looks really cool.

AND THATS HOW THIS CHAPTER ENDED!

On a damn cliffhanger.... Dangit >;(

Oh well... Can't wait to wait a whole month just for the next chapter... Yippie....

Welp! Atleast my school ends in november, so that's a win! >;)

My final opinion about this chapter; Easily one of my favorites. I love them both and they seems to genuinely enjoy each other's company (atleast at near the end lol).

Platonic TsuNene is one of my favorites dynamics, and I love the big-brother-little-sister vibes this whole chapter gives us lol

Once again, as always, excited for the next chapter! >w<

Though, I hope u enjoyed reading it just as much as I did!

Cya ~ !

Lil' reminder; Feel free to correct me or add your own thoughts into it! Just be nice and respectful about it, please.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #tbhk #have a good day!#have a good afternoon!#have a good night!#(oﾟvﾟ)ノ #\^o^/#𐡘 𐡘♡

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cambion-companion · 1 year

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I have not seen hotd nor read the related books, but when I somehow stumbled upon ... (I follow Tywin Lannister tags, which leads to GoT, which I guess leads to HotD?.. anyway!)... Aemond and I'm like hot damn who be dis! He looks yummy and villanus.

Anyway! I've read your headacanons and notice that you portray Aemond almost like a gentle lover. Why is that? What makes you think he would be such a nice husband and loving father? I know immediately that I'm basing my assumptions on mere looks and would think of him more as a possessive and jealous lover. The type that doesn't desire children whether his "wife" wants or not. Would he even take a wife? Not saying he would ever visit a brothel cause I can't picture him being entertained by whores. But perhaps a woman catches his eye and he just wants her to be his (marriage or not). Either way! He'd be the one in control. Some type of Dom/sub dynamics. OR I picture him loving (obsessing?) someone, from the shadows, not pursuing because he's afraid of being turned down. Rejection is his weakness? So he keeps his distance. OR if a woman does fascinates him he won't pursue cause he sees love/lust as weakness and with that in mind tries to suppress whatever he's feeling.

I clearly can't decide on how I view him when it comes to "love". But I definitely can't see a soft Aemond when it comes to his lover/partner/friend. So I would absolutely love your expert analysis.

Much thanks!😁

Hi my love! Thank you so much for the message, I'm flattered you want me to expound upon my opinion.

I think a key element in further understanding Aemond's depth of character would be watching the show for yourself, perhaps then it would make a little more sense.

The breakdown in somewhat of a nutshell, is Aemond has a few people in his inner circle whom he cares for beyond the shadow of any doubt. Primary among those few are his mother and his sister. In the show it is obvious he is a momma's boy and shows a much more gentle and loving side to her than we see with anyone else. There are also moments when he is obviously protective of his sister, Helaena, taking a defensive stance in front of her when confronted with a) a man being beheaded in court and b) in front of an actual dragon.

I believe because of this that whoever he falls in love with (if that were to ever happen) would also know the more secret softer side to him.

Aemond is an incredibly nuanced character, the show writers have really put in the effort to make him very layered, but on the surface we see someone who is aloof, even arrogant, and who is hell bent on exacting revenge upon his nephew who took his eye when they were children. The show also take steps to give us a look at Aemond's childhood and how he was bullied by his elder brother, Aegon, as well as his nephews because he had not bonded with a dragon yet.

When Aemond is presented with the opportunity to take revenge on his nephew, he jumps at it, demanding an eye for an eye. When his nephew flees from him Aemond pursues and in a tragic turn of events his nephew winds up dead. Here we see again the deeper part of Aemond's character shining through as he looks on with an expression of horror and regret at what he's done, clearly he did not intend on murder despite all his outward affectations.

Should he have pursued Lucerys demanding his eye? No. Did he mean to kill Luke? Absolutely not.

Again, this points to a depth of character that is more than someone who is cruel and psychotic.

When Aemond was 13 his older brother took him to a brothel to "get it wet" and when Aemond is retelling this story he does so with no pleasure or relish. He is confronted by the prostitute who was there when he was a child. She recognizes him, and it is painfully obvious how traumatized Aemond is from this. Another hint to how he is not simply some cold monster, but a lot of his attitude and confidence is a front to make up for all the trauma he has experienced.

So yes, sorry I went on for longer than I wanted. But I firmly believe that if a woman were to catch his eye and they were to fall in love, we would see that warm loving side to him yet again. It would be extremely difficult for him to actually fall in love, because I don't see him as being someone who opens up and trusts easily. But in his heart of hearts Aemond is a hurt boy who has created a hardened shell to survive in his world.

In the books he does fall in love with a woman, Alys Rivers. And I fully believe he loved her. He brings her with him before his final battle and she kisses him farewell. He calls her "my Alys" and heeds her when she coaxes him down from a rage.

"When informed of the greens' defeat in the Battle by the Lakeshore, Alys prevented an enraged Aemond from strangling the squire who brought the message to Harrenhal." (from her Wiki)

So yes, while I fully believe Aemond will continue to spiral as the events of the Dance unfold, he will keep that secret warmth for those who remain within his inner circle. Interestingly enough, most of those people are women. I honestly cannot think of anyone else who qualifies other than Helaena, Alicent and Alys.

But we will see!

Also here is the gif of him looking at his momma when she is worried about him going out in search of his brother.

#I love him your honor #aemond targaryen #pro team green #pro aemond targaryen #alys rivers #helaena targaryen #alicent hightower #answered ask #house of the dragon #aemond #prince aemond #aemond x alys #aemond one eye #aemond kinslayer #hotd aemond #hotd #game of thrones #dance of dragons #fire and blood

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seths-wife · 1 year

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The parallels between Meta and Banica

Meta and Banica are actually more similar than meets the eye...they don't have just a very similar appearence...they are not just a pair of Meiko-coded characters.

Here is a list of other similarities the both of them share (you can tell me if you find more to this):

They have both lived their girlhood alone

Meta was the third "ghoul child" of Seth. At one point, Meta escapes from him because she has feared to be put into a refrigerator in "lunaca labora", as Seth has done so to the previous "ghoul child" before her, as a "failed experiment". For more context, read this scene of the "crime" novel.

In her escape, the girl falls off a cliff and loses her memories.

I had run from Seth, fearing being put in cold storage like my “older brother”.

While on the run I had fallen from a cliff…and lost my memories. ("crime", chapter 5, scene 12).

After that, Meta didn't remember much about her life, until her twentieth birthday.

Both the "crime" novel and the song "escape of the witch Salmhofer" state that Meta has lived in loneliness for the first twenty years of her life.

She could only remember fragments of her memories from when she was young, but whatever the case she had rooted in her heart the knowledge that she was an orphan and had lived her life alone, and the awareness that she hated everything in this world. ("crime", chapter 5, scene 2).

Not knowing my father, and not knowing my mother,

I had grown up all alone ("escape of witch Salmhofer").

About Banica, her childhood circumnstances are very different: she has spent the first ten years of her life with her family with the "gula disease" and everything I have talked about in the last post. The song "drug of gold" states how Banica also has "spent her girlhood alone".

It seemed she, too, spent her girlhood all alone Her mother dead, her father with a sick heart, and her home fallen to ruin ("drug of gold").

This fact is also pointed out in the Conchita novel as well. You can read it here.

In a nutshell, Carlos Marlon (the third prince of Marlon) is not very on board with the arranged marriage with Banica. If you read the first scene of the "soup" chapter of the novel, you can kind of get the gist on why the man doesn't want the marriage.

Anyway, Ron Grapple (the chief retainer of the Conchita household) understands Carlos' lack of motivation to pursue the marriage and he makes a big speech about how the marriage between him and Banica could have been a way for the latter to achieve a little bit of serenity after the many years of unhappiness, due to the "gula disease".

Ron also mentions about Banica living her girlhood alone and how Arte and Pollo have been her only friends.

“Thank you most graciously–Due to the illness of her youth, lady Banica has been alone, unable to make any friends for herself. Those twins, Arte and Pollo…when I hired on those two so close to lady Banica in age as retainers, it was because I thought they could serve to substitute as friends for her. Thanks to that, our shy lady Banica has become a little bit more cheerful lately.“ ("evil food eater Conchita", soup, scene 3).

In his speech, the retainer lies about the abuse perpetrated by Megour and the fact that Banica has never been ill with the "gula disease".

Despite that, it is still true that Banica has never been able to have friends (barring the aforementioned twins) and spent her girlhood in loneliness, due to the heart-crushing disease afflicting the family and her mother's abuse.

There's no much elaboration on that, but at the very least...at one point, because of Megour, all Banica has been doing was to eat in fear of her mother.

Both Banica and Meta have impacted the world (negatively for Meta and positively for Banica) after or around their twentieth birthdays.

After the parenthesis of the abusive relationship with the farmer, Meta joins Pale Noel in the "apoalypse" terroristic organization after her twentieth birthday (read this scene)

Of course that has many consequences for the society of their country as she has engaged in destruction of villages (including the village of Nemu, which was a big plot-point ìn Eve Moonlit's life) and terrorism (until she had been finally caught).

When I was 20, the one I loved was

A culprit of murder

If you’re attracted to evil

You’ll find yourself tainted too

And the people

Called me “witch”

I ran through an evil path where flowers bloom

A criminal who was splattered with red, fresh blood

And fled to a corrupted love ("escape of the witch Salmhofer").

About Banica...when she has been nineteen, she has started to travel around the world and in those trips she has managed to make a revolution out of her country's cuisine.

When she turned nineteen, Banica left on a journey to tour various countries with her twin retainers Arte and Pollo, to search for yet more types of food. ("evil food eater Conchita", poisson, scene 1).

The culinary revolution is also recorded in history books in-series.

They both have lived in abusive environments before they have had an impact on their world (which is the previous point).

Before joining Pale, Meta has been abused by a farmer repeatedly. This is stated in the "crime" novel in a scene I have already linked (the first one after the second element of the listing).

Of course those events have an impact on Meta's future because she later attaches to the men who has saved her (Pale) and loyally follows him in everything...and that also has consequences with how she has affected the world around her.

With this I'm not saying that the only reason Meta loves Pale is because he had rescued her from the farmer. I think there is actually more than one reason, but I won't talk about that now. Nevertheless, I do believe that Pale rescuing Meta from the farmer (maybe because she has felt like she has had a debt with him; this is my speculation of which I have zero proof, though) is a factor that explains Meta's great loyalty to Pale.

I was unable to grasp her whereabouts for a while—but eventually I received word from Pale that he’d found her and was taking care of her.

It seemed that she showed quite the obedient side towards him. ("crime" novel, chapter 4, scene 4).

As for Banica, I have already talked about her relationship with Megour, her mother and how it has affected her in my last post (link).

They are both mothers to Hansel and Gretel (in different ways).

Meta is the biological mother of Hansel and Gretel.

Hansel and Gretel probably see Meta in Banica (it can be for the similar appearence, most likely).

That is an in-series speculation by "Ma" in the "evils kingdom" album booklet, though. We don't really know if that is true or not but I believe it can be plausible, at least (especially since during the Conchita novel, the twins hold their memories of their past lives. Still, Meta has died not so much after their birth...therefore I'm not really sure about their memories about her).

In my personal opinion, perhaps they saw in Banica a “trace of their mother”.

As for how Banica regards the twins...as long as the series goes, she sees them as either "friends" (as shown before) or "servants".

For that reason I think the mother-children relationship between the twins and Banica is more likely a one-sided one.

Banica and Meta have rescued their children (in different ways).

Meta has been the product of a sperimentation and has lived her life in sadness. In the series, Hansel and Gretel are the same.

Fearing that her children would live the same life of unhappiness as her, she takes them away from the country with her.

With this I want to come back to the comment of @rileyrose31 that I have started to comment the last time.

The first kind act she does (for the record I haven't read the novel yet, so correct me if I'm wrong) is done when she sees herself in her children. Wanting to give them a better life than she had, she breaks them out of the lab.

Meta in the "crime" novel is a completely sadistic and unsociable individual; she does a lot of nice things for Pale's plans and wants to please him, but that's basically it.

We can say that the twins are the first people Meta gets nice with (outside of Pale): she has compassion, love and (motherly) care for them, unlike with anyone else, except Pale.

Banica is also motherly to her child and rescues her from herself and her selfish hunger.

We don't know if Banica's attitude towards the child is due to a "projection" on the woman's part (whether or not she sees herself in the child as Meta has seen herself in her children) or awareness she had been re-enacting an abusive cycle. This is up to speculation.

Whatever the case may be, both have wanted for their children to have a happy life, with or without them in tow.

#evillious chronicles #evillious #banica conchita #banica #meta salmhofer #meta

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peipapicoz · 2 years

Text

Translation for these articles about Hop and Leon 🎉 source provided by @carefreejules and translated with permission. Thank you so much for always providing them QwQ

Leon (VA : Ono Daisuke)

-King of Kings that is praised to be undefeated in official battle, an entertainer that fascinates all his viewers. An easygoing person, with an extreme lack of sense of direction. Hop’s older brother. (TN: the word used for ‘extreme’ is like, extreme x100, super ultra extreme. They roasting Leon huh 😂)

Hop (VA: Yoshinaga Takuto)

-Leon’s younger brother. A boy who aims to be a Pokemon trainer that surpasses his older brother. Born in Postwick, Galar. His partner Pokemon is Wooloo.

・The Brotherhood between Leon and Hop

-Not just looking alike to each other, these two brothers also have a similar strong-willed personality! Although he respects his older brother, who isn’t just a Galarian Star, but at the same time reigns as the Absolute King, Hop declares that he will one day defeat that brother of his. Aside from admiration, Hop’s bold declaration also gives the viewer a glimpse of the future top trainer. (TN : The original word used here is ‘King’. Ok pokemon give us a game where Hop is the champion)

Pic Caption :

・Hop is a super Onii-chan-ko. (Onii-chan means big brother. Adding a ‘-ko’ at the back gives the meaning that Hop loves his brother a lot. Like a younger sibling that wants to follow the older siblings everywhere, wanting to use and do the same thing as them etc.)

・He challenges Ash to a battle with his partner Wooloo!

-He shows up dashingly in front of Ash, who is competing in the Master Eight. How good will Hop’s battle skill be?

・His mischievous personality makes him stand upfront to everything!

Interview with Yoshinaga Takuto (Hop’s VA) :

Q : What is your first impression of Hop?

A : Hop is a pure and innocent kid! He is super energetic! The voice recording for Anipoke is done in the morning. I thought “ I have to wake up early to be able to portray this level of energy, don’t I” , so I woke up early and screamed inside my house, before heading to the studio.

Q : What is your impression of Leon, Hop’s older brother?

A : In a nutshell, the strongest Pokemon Trainer. Hop is proud to have an older brother like him. The fact that he has a Charizard as his partner Pokemon is also great. While just like trainers, Charizard has their own charm point, but Leon’s charizard is just outstandingly cool!

Although it is great to have such a cool big brother and partner Pokemon, if I had a brother like Leon...... while of course I will be respectful towards him, but I would also feel bitter, like “I have to become someone great too, don’t I?” . I would probably be feeling such negativity. However, for Hop, he just thinks “ I can do it” , and sets surpassing Leon as his goal. His respect towards Leon is pure and simple. He will only allow himself to be the one defeating his own self , not other trainer (this part is talking about mentally, not winning or losing in battle). I feel like this type of seriousness Hop carries is the only big difference between him and me.

Q : If that’s the only difference, does this mean that you feel like you share lots of similarity with Hop?

A : I didn’t mean to be rude,but that is indeed the case. Especially that level of excitement, it is just like me when I was about 18~19 years old (laugh). I felt like I could do anything, and was filled with confidence that I had no idea where it came from. I can feel that strong mind and mental energy of adolescent time in Hop. It is kind of stupid, but very cute! Hop really is a great guy that knows what he wants to do.

—-Skipped some parts where the VA is talking about voice recording and his favourite pokemon and trainer etc—---

Q : Please tell us your most recommended scene regarding Hop’s arrival!

A : Definitely the scene where Hop first shows up! Not only because it’s an exciting scene where Hop was being serious, please also look forward to the surprising story development (laugh)! His partner Wooloo is also very cute!

—-Last part is the VA asking the viewer to look forwards to the show etc—--

That's all!! Again thank you carefreejules for these source material!!

#Pokemon #pokemon journeys #Anipoke #Champion leon #Hop #The part where the seiyuu says hop knows what he wants to do etc just makes the part in game where he doubts himself even more painful ouch #If anyone spots any spelling or grammar error please do let me know!

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thetreefairy · 2 years

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Alr so I fucked up my hair a couple of days ago and I’ve been rolling with the lie when people asked “omg who cut your hair”? And I just say “my older brother did this to me in my sleep cause he was angry at me”. And all I can think about is reader fucking up their bangs and dabi walks in and is just like “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO”?! And reader is just in the bathroom trying to hide their bangs that they cut way to short and Shigarki has not seen them yet. Also If you do make the separate blog can you tell the name?

My this feels like something I would do ngl.

the new blog is @theextratreefairy I already published something on there lol

Now Dabi would be concerned as fuck, did bullies do it or not? What exactly fucking happened?

"I DID IT MYSELF YOU DICK! NOW HELP ME HIDE IT FROM PAPA!"

"LET ME TRY TO SAVE YOUR HAIR! I CAN CUT HAIR!"

"OKAY! WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!"

"IDK, SHIT DOWN AT YOUR DESK!"

In a nutshell if you like short hair and you had long hair Dabi will save your hair and dignity

if you have short hair? Dabi will just paint some parts of your hair to make it seem like your going for a wild look.

#yandere boy #treefairy🧚‍♂️🍁#soft yandere #platonic yandere #yandere x darling #fluff #male yandere #yandere mha #yandere male #yandere bnha #yandere my hero academia #yandere father #yandere brother #yandere #yandere shigaraki tomura

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therewillbenoy · 5 months

Text

A Final Goodbye.

“May you be in Heaven half an hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.” It’s Irish Catholicism in a nutshell - it’s funny, it’s slightly irreverent, it’s nonetheless God-fearing and it leans into tragedy. I walked past that saying on my grandparents’ porch every time I walked into their house. And now I’ve walked past that saying, on that porch, for the last time. I knew when I did it that the day was coming but I didn’t know it was that day. I didn’t know that my feelings about a place could be so intense that I’d refuse to enter it again.

Grief is a well practiced ritual in my life. Beyond growing up in a large Irish Catholic family, I also descend from cemetery people. For most of my childhood, my grandfather was the superintendent of a Catholic cemetery. If he wasn’t at the cemetery, he was pulling on a flat cap and heading out the door to a wake. “You take care of the people first and you worry about everything else later,” he’d say. I went to my first open casket wake when I was 6 years old and my mother had me kneel down in front of the casket and say a prayer. It was more of an introduction to the ritual of death than to loss. I didn’t know my great aunt very well and I wasn’t going to miss her. But I needed to learn the dance. And over the years I’ve learned it, often brutally and painfully. But there is solace in the dance, in having an order to things, in knowing all the steps and also in knowing when the dance will be done.

It was the dance that provided a map for me to find my way back to life after each loss that my family endured over the years. And, in the tradition of other large Irish Catholic clans, there was a lot of loss. Part of that map, the ritual of death, for me has always been gathering at my grandparents’ house. When we were broken, we found each other there - aunts, uncles, cousins and extended family members pouring in to pay their respects, bring food and just to be together. Crowded onto furniture in the small living room, with a portrait of Jesus hanging over the couch, we sat until the tears turned back to laughter, until we had assured one another that we were going to be okay.

The house saw more laughter than sorrow though, more life than death. When my grandparents bought it in 1958 for $9,300, my grandfather told my grandmother that he hoped she liked it because he was never moving her again. And he never did. They raised 7 children in that small cape, building on the side porch and building out additional bedrooms upstairs and in the basement to accommodate their growing family. Kids shared rooms and beds and the single bathtub in the house. They’d play outside all day with neighborhood friends while my grandmother did the work of cooking for and cleaning up after all those children. The children grew and the house was filled not only with their laughter but the laughter of their cousins, friends, significant others and, ultimately, their children.

My own life essentially started right there, my mother had been staying with my grandparents to be close to the hospital and was visiting with a neighbor a couple of doors down when she realized that she was in labor. I was the first granddaughter and the first niece, coming just a couple of years after the birth of my older brother who was the first everything. And I was treasured in the walls of that home. I say that now, at 45, with an understanding of just how much of a blessing it is to grow up feeling treasured. I knew, from my earliest moments, that when I walked into that house, faces would light up with smiles. There were so many smiles.

My grandfather kept a bag of candy in the kitchen drawer that stuck a little bit so sometimes little ones had to ask for help. And help was readily available. If you wanted to see up high, someone’s arms would lift you up and put you on top of the refrigerator and you would giggle in a mixture of excitement and fear and then reach back for the arms that would carefully lower you down. If there was a game of hide and seek going, someone would be willing to close you into the linen closet with a blanket over your head or even to lift you up onto the shelf of the coat closet if you were old enough to be trusted to stay on it. If it was summer, someone would surely turn on the water for you and pull a chair up to the sink so that you could spray an unsuspecting family member through the kitchen window. If you scratched your knee playing outside, Gram had band-aids with cartoons on them to patch you up. If you were losing in a game of penny poker at the kitchen table, Gramp would come up with some more pennies and slide them into your pile. In that house, you were always safe. People were always rooting for you and they were there to pick you up when you fell down.

Like a good Catholic family, mine gathered regularly on Sundays. There are decades of memories of that small house overflowing with people - people in the kitchen grabbing food and having “private” conversations by the sink, women in the living room trading gossip while cooing over the babies (there were so many babies) and men in the back room shouting about games on the television. I loved every minute of it. I loved listening to my grandmother, mother and aunts talk about all of the happenings in our world, from the drama in their friends’ lives to the most recent cover of People magazine. I loved my uncles arguing about sports and my grandfather casting them all as fools. It would be many years before I realized that not everyone’s family gathered like this, years before I realized the depth of my fortune in being born into this family.

Time takes its toll on everything and families are no different. The boom of marriages, babies and good times can change to divorces, financial struggles and hard times. My family wasn’t immune to any of that. When my parents got divorced, we moved in for a period of time with my grandparents. It was a difficult and confusing time but being there made it easier. My grandfather had been orphaned as a child and sent with his siblings to live with an aunt and uncle who likely resented the burden of having additional mouths to feed. He hadn’t felt loved or welcomed there and he told me that it was always important to him that all of us felt like their home was ours so that if anything ever happened, we could come there and feel like we were home. He wanted us to rumble through the cupboards and refrigerator when we were hungry, to lay down and rest when we were tired. His master plan was a life saver for me. We might have had to move but this had always been home. I lived there again in summers during college and if I could have stayed there my whole life, I think I would have. My grandparents doted on me as a college student just as much as they had when I was a toddler.

Over time, the people who were always there for you become the people who need you to be there for them. The kids needed to keep it down on Sundays because my grandfather was napping. My grandparents needed rides to their ever increasing medical appointments. They needed us to show up at the hospital and bring their medication list. On Christmas Eve in 2016, my uncle passed away. He was the second son that my grandparents lost to cancer, both in their 50s. I remember going to my grandparents’ house that night, like a rope was pulling me and everyone else there. And I remember going into the back room where I knew I’d find my grandfather sitting in his chair. I leaned down, tears rolling down my cheeks, to give him a kiss on the side of the head. He looked up at me and said “oh, God love you.” That interaction in the back room was our last, he died unexpectedly on Christmas morning.

My grandmother shined on, truly shined, until August of 2023. She was there, every Sunday, waiting for us in the living room, waiting to be surrounded by all the people she loved. She meticulously maintained a calendar on the kitchen wall with every birthday and wedding anniversary and you could always expect a handwritten card in the mail. She lived to hear all the happenings in our lives, to see the pictures and to tell us all the details of her day. Despite all of the loss in her life, she looked forward to the good things. She led us forward. And she did it from the chair in the right corner of the living room.

The chair is gone now. So is her plaid furniture and the navy blue wall to wall carpet. For weeks after she passed, we just kept going there on Sundays, filling the living room as we’d always done, holding onto something we’d always known. But the time has come to say goodbye to the house, a goodbye that my grandmother, the sweetest but least sentimental soul you’d ever meet, would have encouraged. And I have struggled mightily with this goodbye, refusing to return to the house once things started to change there. I thought that the reason for my struggle was that the house was my safest place in life, the place where I had always felt so unconditionally loved. And that could very well be part of it. But the real reason may just be that I don’t have a map for finding my way out of grief that doesn’t have 35 Mass Ave on it.

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