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100 Asexual Books Rec List

For this list the goal is fiction books with a main character or significant secondary character that is on the Asexual spectrum, or non-fiction books about being Aspec.

Junior Novels

1. Rick by Alex Gino An eleven year old boy starting middle school begins discovering his asexuality admist the school's rainbow spectrum club. Also features transgender and crossdressing side characters, as well as a LGBTQIAP+ supporting cast.

2. Sal & Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Alberto Pablo Hernandez In order to heal after his mother's death, Sal learned how to meditate. But no one expected him to be able to take it further and 'relax' things into existence. Turns out he can reach into time and space to retrieve things from other universes. Asexual Sal.

3. Hazel's Theory of Evolution by Lisa Jenn Bigelow Hazel knows a lot about the world. But even Hazel doesn't have answers for the questions awaiting her as she enters eighth grade. What if no one at her new school gets her, and she doesn't make any friends? What's going to happen to one of her moms, who's pregnant again after having two miscarriages? Why does everything have to change when life was already perfectly fine? Hazel (main character) is asexual and aromantic (it isn't said in the book, but it is specified in the author's note at the back of the book).

4. The Trouble with Robots by Michelle Mohrweis Evelyn strives for excellence. Allie couldn't care less. Together, these polar opposites must work together if they have any hope of saving their school's robotics program. Allie is asexual and/or aromantic. Junior graphic novel.

5. This is Our Rainbow by Editors Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby Featuring contributions from Eric Bell, Katherine Locke and A.J. Sass, this first LGBTQA+ anthology for middle-grade readers presents stories of queer fantasy, historical and contemporary stories for every letter of the acronym.

6. Every Bird a Prince by Jenn Reese After she saves the life of a bird prince and becomes their champion, seventh grader Eren Evers must defend a forest kingdom, save her mom, and keep the friendships she holds dear--if she is brave enough to embrace her inner truths. Eren is aromantic (and I'm guessing asexual, though that isn't discussed).

YA Fiction

7. When Villains Rise by Rebecca Schaeffer With her best friend, Kovit's, life in danger, Nita is determined to take down the black market once and for all. Latina asexual and aromantic main character (Nita).

8. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee Henry "Monty" Montague was bred to be a gentleman. His passions for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men, have earned the disapproval of his father. His quest for pleasures and vices have led to one last hedonistic hurrah as Monty, his best friend and crush Percy, and Monty's sister Felicity begin a Grand Tour of Europe. When a reckless decision turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything Monty knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores. Aro/ace secondary character (prequel to a Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy).

9. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee A year after an accidentally whirlwind grand tour with her brother Monty, Felicity Montague has returned to England with two goals in mind—avoid the marriage proposal of a lovestruck suitor from Edinburgh and enroll in medical school. A highly loved book in regards to asexual portrayal, Felicity’s journey does a fantastic job of exploring the struggle of navigating a world where marriage is expected of women in order to function in society. Even more refreshing is Felicity isn’t just avoiding getting married out of a sole rebellion against the patriarchy (though those themes are also present), but simply because she doesn’t have an interest in sexual or romantic relationships at all.

10. Silver in the Mist by Emily Victoria Asexual Devlin has grown up in the shadow of her mother’s impressive spy network—and the shadow of the kingdom, too. A magical mist is eating away at their borders, weakening their magic and making them vulnerable to attacks. Devlin is tasked with infiltrating the royal court of the wealthier neighboring kingdom, but when she befriends their most powerful magic wielder, she discovers an ancient mystery that may hold the key to defeating the mists for good. Victoria prioritizes strong friendships between queer characters and an examination of wealth disparity in this fantasy full of twists and turns.

11. Not Good for Maidens by Tori Bovalino Beneath the streets of York, the goblin market calls to the Wickett women-the family of witches that tends to its victims. For generations, they have defended the old cobblestone streets with their magic. Knowing the dangers, they never entered the market-until May Wickett fell for a goblin girl, accepted her invitation, and became inextricably tied to the world her family tried to protect her from. Told through dual narratives in different timelines, the book essentially has two protagonists: Lou and May. Between these two characters, we have some great queer representation for both asexuality and bisexuality.

12. A Snake Falls to Earth by Darcie Little Badger Themes of magic, family, asexuality, and traditional storytelling dominate in Lipan Apache author Darcie Little Badger's delightful and uplifting second YA novel. A Lipan girl named Nina collides with Oli who is from the land of spirits and monsters. But some people will do anything to keep them apart. This is a wholesome, elegantly written read guaranteed to warm your heart!

13. Arden Grey by Ray Stoeve Arden Grey is a novel about different kinds of abusive relationships, as well as the strength of family and friendships. Following her parents' separation, Arden is depressed and coming to accept herself as being on the asexual spectrum.

14. It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano Yasm Trevi didn't have much of a freshman year thanks to Hurricane Humphrey, but she's ready to take sophomore year by storm. That means mastering the marching side of marching band--fast!--so she can outshine her BFF Sofia as top of the flute section, earn first chair, and impress both her future college admission boards and her comfortably unattainable drum major crush Gilberto Reyes. But Yasm steps off on the wrong foot when she reports an anonymous gossip Instagram account harassing new band members and accidentally gets the entire low brass section suspended from extracurriculars. Rep: Biracial Latina fat asexual-questioning cis female MC, Jewish gray-aromantic gray-asexual male side character with ADHD and APD.

15. One for All by Lillie Lainoff In 1655 sixteen-year-old Tania is the daughter of a retired musketeer, but she is afflicted with extreme vertigo and subject to frequent falls; when her father is murdered she finds that he has arranged for her to attend Madame de Treville's newly formed Acadaemie des Mariées in Paris, which, it turns out, is less a school for would-be wives, than a fencing academy for girls--and so Tania begins her training to be a new kind of musketeer, and to get revenge for her father. Rep: disability, asexuality, sapphic side characters, POTS and PTSD.

16. The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson When Dean Arnault’s mother decided to run for president, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone, least of all her son. But still that doesn’t mean Dean wants to be part of the public spectacle that is the race for the White House—at least not until he meets Dre. The only problem is that Dre Rosario’s on the opposition; he’s the son of the Democratic nominee. In a moment of solidarity and high emotions, Dean tells Dre that he has been questioning his sexual orientation. He isn’t sure if he’s asexual or demisexual. Dre puts a messaging app on Dean’s phone so they can stay in touch.

17. Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim When Amaya rescues a mysterious stranger from drowning, she fears her rash actions have earned her a longer sentence on the debtor ship where she’s been held captive for years. Instead, the man she saved offers her unimaginable riches and a new identity, setting Amaya on a perilous course through the coastal city-state of Moray, where old-world opulence and desperate gamblers collide. Amaya wants one thing: revenge against the man who ruined her family and stole the life she once had. Desi, demisexual female protagonist.

18. Camp by Lev AC Rosen It’s Randy’s fifth year at Camp Outland, a camp where queer teens get a chance to be themselves. Hoping to win over Hudson’s heart—who’s masc and straight passing and only seems to date other guys like himself—Randy has spent the past year reinventing himself: workout regimen, new haircut, new carefully curated wardrobe. His friends and camp counsellor all think it’s a terrible idea, but what can they do but support him anyways?

19. Little Thieves by Margaret Owen Once upon a time, the daughter of death and fortune was a teenage girl and she was the worst. Little Thieves is, as the dedication says, for the gremlin girls, never has there been a more gremlin girl than Vanja Schmidt. A brilliant and brazen swindler, Vanja could give Kaz Brekker a run for his money. But Vanja has bigger fish to fry. As her body rapidly turns into the gemstones she craves, Vanja must put things right and face her greed head on all while juggling her engagement to a terrible margrave, an investigator with his own magic, and the princess whose face she stole. Vanja’s relationship with junior prefect Emeric could not be more demisexual if it tried, with both sides of the romance experiencing asexual spectrum existence in different and complimentary ways. One part Germanic fairytale, one part ensemble heist, Little Thieves is an unhinged romp of a book.

20. Everyone Hates Kelsie Miller by Meredith Ireland Rom-coms and the asexuality spectrum...two great things that go great together. Kelsie and Eric have been competing against each other their whole lives. But desperation forces them to work together. Kelsie’s best friend stopped talking to her and Eric wants to rekindle his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and since both will be at UPenn at the same time, Eric and Kelsie decide to go on a road trip together. Sparks fly.

21. You Don't Have a Shot by Racquel Marie Valentina "Vale" Castillo-Green's life revolves around soccer. Her friends, her future, and her father's intense expectations are all wrapped up in the beautiful game. But after she incites a fight during playoffs with her long-time rival, Leticia Ortiz, everything she's been working toward seems to disappear. Queer asexual biracial (Colombian, Irish) protagonist.

22. Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong In 1931 Shanghai, two Nationalist spies pose as a married couple to investigate a series of brutal murders causing unrest in the city. Rep: demisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese main character, Chinese trans woman main character, aromantic asexual side character; (Chinese-Kiwi author).

23. The Spy with the Red Ballon by Katherine Locke Siblings Ilse and Wolf hide a deep secret in their blood: with it, they can work magic. And the government just found out. Blackmailed into service during World War II, Ilse lends her magic to America’s newest weapon, the atom bomb, while Wolf goes behind enemy lines to sabotage Germany’s nuclear program. It’s a dangerous mission, but if Hitler were to create the bomb first, the results would be catastrophic. Gay demisexual Jewish protagonist.

24. Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria Cassa, the orphaned daughter of rebels, and friends Alys, Evander, and Newt, fight back against the high council of Eldra, which has ruled for centuries based solely on ancient prophesies. Alys, an apothecary-in-training and the level-headed one of the crew. She identifies as asexual.

25. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia Eighteen-year-old Eliza Mirk is the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea, but when a new boy at school tempts her to live a life offline, everything she's worked for begins to crumble. Asexual main character, not explicitly stated in the book.

26. Technically, You Started It by Lana Wood Johnson When a guy named Martin Nathaniel Munroe II texts you, it should be obvious who you're talking to. Except there's two of them (it's a long story), and Haley thinks she's talking to the one she doesn't hate. Demisexual main character.

27. Now Entering Addamsville by Francesca Zappia Zora Novak is framed for a crime she didn't commit--in a town obsessed with ghosts, will she be able to find the culprit and clear her name before it's too late? It's a brief mention, but Zora is ace.

28. Fully Disclosure by Camryn Garrett In a community that isn’t always understanding, an HIV-positive teen must navigate fear, disclosure, and radical self-acceptance when she falls in love–and lust–for the first time. One of Simone’s best friends in the book, Claudia, is an asexual lesbian. The unwavering support she gives to Simone is heartwarming, and she is also openly sex-positive—which flips the script on its head regarding what most people would assume of asexual people.

30. The Art of Saving the World by Corinne Duyvis When Hazel Stanczak was born, an interdimensional rift tore open near her family’s home, which prompted immediate government attention. They soon learned that if Hazel strayed too far, the rift would become volatile and fling things from other dimensions onto their front lawn—or it could swallow up their whole town. Hazel Stanczak identifies as asexual, though she spends time in the book questioning it. The book presents a unique way to show that there is not one single way to be asexual—that it exists on a spectrum and can look different for each person.

31. Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann Alice had her whole summer planned. Non-stop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting–working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual). Alice is done with dating–no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done. Alice is a biromantic and asexual black woman who starts off very confident in her identity as asexual, yet has experiences that have her questioning her orientation and how to talk about it.

32. In the Ravenous Dark by AdriAnne Strickland A pansexual blood mage reluctantly teams up with an undead spirit to start a rebellion among the living and the dead. This book features Japha, an asexual nonbinary character who serves as the best friend to the MC.

33. Seven Ways We Lie by Riley Redgate Life at Paloma High School is much like any other high school, with petty drama, judgmental assholes, and mind-numbing schoolwork. Until it isn’t. A scandal emerges: a student and teacher had an illicit affair. At the center of the scandal are seven teenagers, each with their own secrets, whose lives are transformed as a result of this scandal. One of the characters can be read as asexual (and possibly neurodiverse). He never explicitly labels himself as such, but the way he describes his experiences of [non-]attraction strongly point to him being on the ace spectrum.

34. Quicksilver by R. J. Anderson Tori thought she had left her past behind when she and her family started a new life in a new city. But then Sebastian Faraday reappears in her life to tell her that she’s not quite as safe as she thinks: the relay is still operating and a genetics lab is trying to track her down to figure out the secret behind her unusual biology. Tori is going to have to use all of her considerable technical expertise to escape her past and live the normal human life she’s always wanted to have. Asexual main character.

35. Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie Aisha Un-Haad, seventeen, and Key Tanaka, eighteen, have risked everything for new lives as mechanically enhanced soldiers, and when an insurrection forces dark secrets to surface, the fate of humanity is in their hands. In Hullmetal Girls, Aisha is not only ace/aro but she is also happy with her identity. Crucially, so is everyone else.

36. Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer Nita's mother hunts monsters and, after Nita dissects and packages them, sells them online, but when Nita follows her conscience to help a live monster escape, she is sold on the black market in his place. Aro/Ace main character

37. Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp When Corey moves away from Lost Creek, Alaska, she makes her friend Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return. Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger. With every hour, Corey's suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets-- but piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter. Aro/Ace main character.

38. If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to the best place on earth. No, not Disneyland–her Granny’s diner, Goldeen’s, in the small town of Misty Haven. While there, she works in her fabulous 50’s inspired uniform, twirling around the diner floor and earning an obscene amount of tips. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall. …until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen in a highly anticipated matchmaking tradition that she wants absolutely nothing to do with. Aro/ace secondary character.

39. Dread Nation by Justina Ireland An alternate history where the Civil War was put on hold when zombies started to rise. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston's School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn't pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose.But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems. The word asexual is not used, but that fits with the setting, and the explanation goes into a fair amount of detail, also ruling out that she likes women instead.

40. Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson When her convent is attacked by possessed soldiers, Artemisia defends the Gray Sisters by awakening the revenant bound to a saint's relic, even though she runs the risk of being possessed permanently by the powerful ancient spirit. Non-explicit romantic asexual main character. Fantasy.

41. Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace A postapocalyptic ghosthunter escapes her dire fate by joining the ghost of a supersoldier on his quest to the underworld Aromantic asexual main character. Dark fantasy/dystopian.

42. Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno While anyone would love to have a bit of magic, what happens when magic turns dark? Georgina Fernweh will come into her magic someday soon. Before she does, Georgina faces a tragedy that tests the islanders' trust. In this book, Georgina’s best friend Vira is aroace, and it’s addressed somewhat in the story at different points. There is a sweet strength between Georgina and Vira, full of loyalty and support that is lovely to see.

43. The Summer of Bitter and Sweet by Jen Ferguson In this moving and complex narrative, Lou learns to draw boundaries, stand up for herself, all while coming to terms with her demisexuality.

44. The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow One-third of the human population has died and now the world is about to end. Ellie, a fat, Black, disabled, demisexual girl with access to an illegal library teams up with a music-loving alien to risk their lives to save the world.

45. The Grimrose Girls by Laura Pohl Pohl serves up a veritable smorgasbord of queer fairytale goodies in Grimrose Girls. This tale as old as time follows four students at the prestigious boarding school Grimrose Academy—Ella, Yuki, Rory, and newcomer Nani. When the former three’s best friend dies, all four girls are swept up in a dark and twisted mystery full of old fairytale magic. They must work together to unravel the secrets between them and break an ancient curse that dooms them to a fairytale ending (and not the fun kind). Yuki’s aromantic asexual identity is explored in her relationship to expectations, beauty, and friendship throughout the novel.

46. Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time, she’s unafraid to be herself. So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. In this book, Aled identifies as demisexual while Frances identifies as bisexual. The story really pays homage to the importance of friendship, and romantic storylines move to the background in a way we don’t often get in YA literature.

47. This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria Forced to serve her country’s ruling group, Karis wants nothing more than to find her brother. But family bonds don’t matter to the sole focus of unlocking the magic of an ancient automaton army. Karis is ace and other LGBTQ+ characters are introduced throughout.

48. Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand A horror novel centered around three girls facing off against an unseen monster that preys upon the young women of the island of Sawkill Rock. Features a black asexual girl fresh out of a romantic relationship, as well as a f/f relationship.

49. Love Letters for Joy by Melissa See Less than a year away from graduation, seventeen-year-old Joy is too busy overachieving to be worried about relationships. She’s determined to be Caldwell Prep’s first disabled valedictorian. And she only has one person to beat, her academic rival Nathaniel. But it’s senior year and everyone seems to be obsessed with pairing up. One of her best friends may be developing feelings for her and the other uses Caldwell’s anonymous love-letter writer to snag the girl of her dreams. Joy starts to wonder if she has missed out on a quintessential high school experience. She is asexual, but that’s no reason she can’t experience first love, right?

50. Not Your Backup by C. B. Lee Part 3 in the Sidekick Squad series by C.B. Lee. Follows a questioning aromantic asexual latinx superhero sidekick fighting to prove her worth on the team despite her lack of superpowers, all admist the team's battle against the corrupt League of Heroes.

51. Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller Noble-born Emilie des Marais, 16, wants to become a physician, a role usually forbidden women of her class because of the corruptive toll the magical "noonday arts" exact. Common-born Annette Boucher wants to escape her domineering parents and master the less physically costly "midnight arts" of illusions, divination, and scrying, normally reserved for those who can afford the expensive education. At Emilie's urging, each girl takes the other's place. Miller (Ruin of Stars) writes in lush, dense prose that can require a careful read, but her protagonists' awareness of privilege and desire to challenge the status quo shines through. LGBTQ representation--including gay, trans, and nonbinary characters (Annette identifies as asexual biromantic)--further widens this tale's appeal.

52. Tarnished Are the Stars by Rosiee Thor A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws. Determined to earn his father's respect, Nathaniel sets out to capture the Technician. But the more he learns about the outlaw, the more he questions whether his father's elusive affection is worth chasing at all. This YA novel features an aroace character gradually coming to accept his orientation in the midst of everything else that is happening in his life. Perfect for older teens who also enjoy WLW representation and dark themes.

53. Aces Wild: A Heist by Amanda DeWitt An all-asexual online friend group attempts to break into a high-stakes gambling club and commit a heist together. Includes a male asexual character navigating what love looks like for him, an aromantic asexual Latinx gender-nonconforming boy, a Vietnamese American and German asexual nonbinary teen, and a black asexual girl.

54. Planning Perfect by Haley Neil Summer vacation quickly becomes complicated for Felicity Becker as she tries to plan a perfect wedding for her mom, figure out her feelings for her friend Nancy, and wonder what dating will look like for her as an asexual person.

55. Ace of Hearts by Myriad Augustine Everyone around Alvin seems to be obsessed with one thing-- sex. Alvin finds it uncomfortable to think and talk about it and he knows he isn't ready and may never be. His friends, however, think that all Alvin needs is to hook up with the right guy. But the closer Alvin gets to being physical with someone, the more he's uncertain that this is for him and he begins to wonder if he's asexual. Can Alvin find the love that's right for him?

56. Beyond the Black Door by AdriAnne Strickland Everyone has a soul. Some are beautiful gardens, others are frightening dungeons. Kamia comes to know more about her identity as she decides to battle the forces of evil, no matter the cost... Asexual and demi-romantic main characters. Dark fantasy. Kamai is asexual, but isn’t aromantic—she has an interest in relationships that isn’t always depicted for those who are ace.

57. Loveless by Alice Oseman A queer coming of age story featuring a romance obsessed aromantic asexual main character discovering her sexuality and coming to terms with what that means, and a variety of other queer characters that support her on her journey.

58. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman Rumi Seto spends a lot of time worrying she doesn’t have the answers to everything. What to eat, where to go, whom to love. But there is one thing she is absolutely sure of—she wants to spend the rest of her life writing music with her younger sister, Lea. Then Lea dies in a car accident, and her mother sends her away to live with her aunt in Hawaii while she deals with her own grief. While not the main focal point of the book, Rumi does grapple throughout the story about where exactly she lands on the ace and aro spectrum—and whether she has to label herself at all.

59. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee In this queer rom-com, a transgender teen must decide if he's dedicated to romantic formulas or open to unpredictable love after an internet troll attack on his blog compels him and a fan to start fake-dating. Through an unlikely friendship with sweet, grounded Devin, who is Cuban American, asexual, and experimenting with pronouns, Noah--initially self-centered and standoffish--learns to value communication and empathy.

60. The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath In 1904 Norway, Asta runs away from her horrible fiancé to live with her two best friends. The three misfits set out to win the annual Christmas sleigh race to prove that they belong together. Queer asexual hard of hearing protagonist with heterochromia of Norwegian descent.

61. Forward March by Skye Quinlan How can band geek Harper have the chance of becoming the First Daughter with a fake dating profile? However, Harper does know that the drumline leader swiped right. Come along with Harper as she explores her truth during her last year of high school. Asexual-questioning cis female MC with anxiety and asthma.

62. Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger What if America had monsters, magic, and interdimensional beings? For Elatsoe, this is real, and she has to uncover her cousin's murder! She can do this with the help of her ghost dog, Kirby, but has to remember not to wake human ghosts. Aromantic ace main character. Paranormal mystery. Casual representation which extends to Ellie’s identity as Lipan Apache. This identity is asserted more often and firmly than her asexuality, and Little Badger drops in nuggets of education for us settlers about what Indigenous people, and the Lipan Apache in particular, suffered at the hands of settlers.

63. All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Editor Robin Talley A collection of short fantasy stories, featuring a variety of queer characters across multiple sexualities and genders. Features an asexual roller-skating girl from the 70s struggling to explain her identity to her crush.

64. Black Wings Beating by Alex London Twins Brysen and Kylee live in a world that revers the power of the falconers, but in a world where war approaches, they aren’t safe. Hunted for their power, they work together to trap the Ghost Eagle. Kylee is an ace character, focused on protecting her brother.

Graphic Novels

65. A-okay by Jarad Greene Eight grade can be tough, especially if you have acne and bullies, and lose friends. But our relatable asexual and aromantic protagonist, Jay, pulls through. This is a relatable memoir with colorful artwork.

66. How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess A comic memoir detailing the author Rebecca Burgess's experience with growing up asexual in a world obsessed with sex. Also talks about her experiences with her own mental health and OCD.

67. Jughead, Volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky A comic book reboot of the Archie comics centered around Jughead Jones. Follows an aromantic asexual main character in typical Archie-style shenanigans. Part 1 of a 3 part series.

68. A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality by Molly Muldoon A charming introduction to asexuality, created to shed light on the misconceptions surrounding sex and being asexual. Told by writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both on the asexual spectrum.

69. Is Love the Answer? by Isaki Uta A poignant coming-of-age story about a young woman coming into her own as she discovers her identity as aromantic asexual. A complete story in a single volume, from the creator of "Mine-kun is Asexual."

Domestic Fiction

70. Have You Seen Luis Velez by Catherine Ryan Hyde Raymond Jaffe feels like he doesn't belong. Not with his mother's new family. Not as a weekend guest with his father and his father's wife. Not at school, where he's an outcast. After his best friend moves away, Raymond has only two real connections: to the feral cat he's tamed and to a blind ninety-two-year-old woman in his building who's introduced herself with a curious question: Have you seen Luis Velez? Mildred Gutermann, a German Jew who narrowly escaped the Holocaust, has been alone since her caretaker disappeared. She turns to Raymond for help, and as he tries to track Luis down, a deep and unexpected friendship blossoms between the two. Raymond is asexual (to be precise, he is aroace) And he is depicted as kind, loving, sensitive and realistic.

Fantasy

71. In the Lives of the Puppets by TJ Klune In a strange little home built into the branches of a grove of trees, live three robots--fatherly inventor android Giovanni Lawson, a pleasantly sadistic nurse machine, and a small vacuum desperate for love and attention. Victor Lawson, a human, lives there too. They're a family, hidden and safe. Protagonist: Vic, A curious, loving, & asexual human.

72. The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon In the mid-21st century major world cities are controlled by a formidable security force and clairvoyant underworld cell member Paige commits acts of psychic treason before being captured by an otherworldly race that would make her a part of their supernatural army. Demisexual main character.

73. The Perfect Assassin by K.A. Doore Divine justice is written in blood. Or so Amastan has been taught. As a new assassin in the Basbowen family, he's already having second thoughts about taking a life. A scarcity of contracts ends up being just what he needs. Until, unexpectedly, Amastan finds the body of a very important drum chief. Until, inevitably, Amastan is ordered to solve these murders, before the family gets blamed. Amastan is asexual and, as it turns out, homoromantic.

74. The Bruising of Quilwa by Naseem Jamnia Firuz-e Jafari was able to escape the slaughter of traditional blood magic practitioners by immigrating to the city-state of Qilwa. But now a terrible disease is spreading through the city, and Firuz believes it comes from ineptly performed blood magic. Now they must find a way to break a cycle of prejudice in order to survive. From the author: it's about an aroace nonbinary refugee healer who is trying to cure a magical plague in their new home while hiding their blood magic.

75. The Midnight Bargain by C. L. Polk The Midnight Bargain is a story "set in a world reminiscent of Regency England, where women's magic is taken from them when they marry. A sorceress must balance her desire to become the first great female magician against her duty to her family. Ysbeta has a clear goal for her life: to discover and share magic. Besides loving learning for its own sake, Ysbeta is asexual, and wealthy in her own right, so the bargaining season offers her literally nothing.

76. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire Set in a world where a group of children have the ability to find and enter doorways into magical worlds, and now must find who's targetting them for this ability. Lead by an female asexual main character, with a trans love interest. First book in a series of novellas.

Science Fiction

77. The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis She's a priestess of the Sisterhood, traveling the stars alongside the soldiers of Earth who own the rights to her body and soul. When her former captain abandons her, First Sister's hopes for freedom are dashed and she is forced to stay on her ship with no friends, no status, and a new captain she knows nothing about. When the Mother, leader of her order, asks her to spy on Captain Saito Ren, First Sister discovers that sacrificing for the war effort is so much harder to do when your loyalties are split. He climbed his way out of the slums to become an elite soldier of Venus, but now he's haunted by his failures and the loss of his partner Hiro. But when Lito learns that Hiro is alive, but a traitor, and he's assigned to hunt Hiro down, and kill them, Lito must decide what he is actually fighting for - the society that raised him, or himself. As the battle to control Ceres reaches a head, Lito and First Sister must decide what - and whom - they are willing to sacrifice in the name of duty, or for love. Hispanic panromantic asexual protagonist (Lito).

78. Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace Mal is one of many war survivors in the old town working multiple jobs to scrimp by, one of which is her team's streaming video game play. The team lives with several other roommates in a converted hotel room run by Stellaxis, the company that owns half of town, and is the only legal provider of drinkable water. When Mal catches sight of an elusive SecOps character, special non-player characters (NPCs) modeled after Stellaxis' twelve bioengineered operatives, the team pursues her inside the game to catch her on video for two seconds before their power curfew kicks in. By the time Mal heads down for her daily ration of water, they've secured a lucrative contract, involving an in-person meeting and a conspiracy theory, paying them to capture images of the three living SecOps characters. When Mal returns to find out why the next payment failed, she becomes involved in a fracas that will endanger everyone she knows. Aroace main character.

79. To be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers Four astronauts set out to explore the galaxy. This journey spans centuries and many worlds. A thought provoking read that explores the themes of loneliness and sense of purpose. Excellent cast of diverse characters and vivid world building. Chikondi is asexual and the text is careful to note that his relationship to the protagonist is no less emotional or vital than those she shares with people she is sexually involved with.

80. The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong What better person to take down a crime boss than a mixed-species fugitive! Join Jes on this exciting tale of espionage, torture, demolition. Sex-averse panromantic asexual lead character

Historical Fiction

81. Kaikeyi by Vasihnavi Patel The only daughter of the kingdom of Kekaya, she is raised on grand stories about the might and benevolence of the gods. Yet she watches as her father unceremoniously banishes her mother, her own worth measured by how great a marriage alliance she can secure. And when she calls upon the gods for help, they never seem to hear. Desperate for some measure of independence, she turns to the ancient texts she once read with her mother and discovers a magic that is hers alone. Kaikeyi is asexual and aromantic. Although the words "asexual" and "aromantic" aren't used in the book.

Western

82. The Complete Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone Chronicles by L. C. Mawson If you’re looking for steampunk magic, the Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone novellas are the place for you. Read them individually or all together in this compendium. Chapelstone is interested in her inventions, not love and romance.

Paranormal

83. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Homes by Joseph Fink Told in a series of eerie flashbacks, the story of The Faceless Old Woman goes back centuries to reveal an initially blissful and then tragic childhood on a Mediterranean Estate in the early nineteenth century, her rise in the criminal underworld of Europe, a nautical adventure with a mysterious organization of smugglers, her plot for revenge on the ones who betrayed her, and ultimately her death and its aftermath, as her spirit travels the world for decades until settling in modern-day Night Vale. Asexual secondary character.

Romance

84. All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher After his three ex-girlfriends in a row leave Brennan because he's not fulfilling their sexual needs, he seeks out advice from Zafir, the owner of a sex shop. Zafir introduces Brennan to the concept of asexuality and slowly something more blossoms between them.

85. That Kind of Guy by Talia Hibbert Rae needs a fake date to take to her ex's wedding and convinces Zach, a close friend who has recently discovered that he is demisexual, to play along.

86. The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood In an attempt to convince her best friend that she really is over her ex-boyfriend, grad-student Olive panic kisses stern associate professor Adam in the hallway. (Olive is coded as demisexual/graysexual, but that label is never used in the book).

87. Far From Home by Lorelie Brown The oddest of odd couples finds unexpected joy in Brown’s warm, sweet contemporary romance. American citizen Rachel, a not-quite-asexual assistant film producer struggling to make a living in L.A., is drowning in student debt; Indian immigrant Pari Sadashiv, a lesbian logistics manager, needs a U.S. green card to advance her career. When Rachel offers to marry Pari in exchange for funds, it’s just party banter at first—but what’s to stop them from crafting a friendship with legal and financial benefits? Their platonic plans quickly go awry as Pari’s mother moves in to help plan the wedding, forcing them to live their lie. As Rachel feels herself awakening to an attraction she didn’t even know was possible, Pari has to decide whether she can live with the possible fallout of Rachel’s tentative first foray into same-sex love.

88. Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun Last Christmas, Ellie met Jack in Powell’s when they both went for a copy of Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home, and over a cute argument over “shared custody”, and Jack poking gentle fun at Ellie (who had been crying alone and talking to a footstool as if it were her friend) they start to bond. Jack asks Ellie for coffee, and then they end up spending the whole day together. This is a big deal for Ellie, who is demisexual, and rarely develops attractions to anyone. And then Jack breaks her heart. Fast-forward to this Christmas when Andrew, the landlord who owns the building she works in, asks her to fake-marry him so he can access his inheritance, and shenanigans lead to her agreeing to this and to going home with him for Christmas, and surprise! Jack is Andrew’s sister.

89. The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun Tech wunderkind Charlie has never really been interested in dating, but agrees to join the cast of reality show 'Ever After.' While there he finds himself charmed by his producer, Dev, and questioning his sexuality. The Charm Offensive includes a conversation discussing asexuality and its spectrum.

90. Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky Wren Roland has never been kissed, but he wants that movie-perfect ending more than anything. Thanks to Mateo’s boyfriend, he learns about demisexuality and realizes that when he came out as gay, he had not finished realizing truths about himself and intimate relationships.

91. How to be a Normal Person by TJ Klune Before The House on the Cerulean Sea blew up, Klune wrote this quirky and delightful story of two asexual people finding each other and their happily ever after.

92. Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed This super sweet, low-angst romance centers on two fat, queer women of colour (one Black and one Persian-Arab) who fall in love and find their happy ending with hardly any drama. There’s also anxiety representation. It’s just pure fluffy romance goodness. Demisexual protagonist.

Non-Fiction

93. Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project What does it mean to be ace or aro? How should I approach the challenges that come with being ace or aro? How can I best support the ace and aro people in my life? Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials -- this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum. You are not invisible! You are among friends.

94. Being Ace: An Anthology of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection by Editor Madeline Dyer Discover the infinite realms of asexual love across sci-fi, fantasy, and contemporary stories From a wheelchair user racing to save her kidnapped girlfriend and a little mermaid who loves her sisters more than suitors, to a slayer whose virgin blood keeps attracting monsters, the stories of this anthology are anything but conventional. Whether adventuring through space, outsmarting a vengeful water spirit, or surviving haunted cemeteries, no two aces are the same in these 14 unique works that highlight asexual romance, aromantic love, and identities across the asexual spectrum

95. Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen A non-fiction research book about the asexual perspective on society's facinations with love and sex, and the misconceptions about what being asexual really is and what it means to a person.

96. The Invisible Orientation: an Introduction to Asexuality by Julia Sondra Decker An introduction to what asexuality is, both for people who don't know what that means and for people that may be questioning their own sexuality. It aims to puts asexual people's experiences in context, as they move through a very sexualized world.

97. Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe A graphic memoir about author Kobabe's growing from adolescence to adulthood, as e explores eir gender identity and sexuality. Features a gender queer and asexual main character that uses e/eir pronouns.

98. Ace Voices What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young This is the ace community in their own words. Drawing upon interviews with a wide range of people across the asexual spectrum, Eris Young is here to take you on an empowering, enriching journey through the rich multitudes of asexual life.

99. I Am Ace: Adice on Living Your Best Asexual Life by Cody Daigle-Orians Tackling everything from what asexuality is, the asexual spectrum and tips on coming out, to intimacy, relationships, acephobia and finding joy, this guide will help you better understand your asexual identity alongside deeply relatable anecdotes drawn from Cody's personal experience.

100. Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca Drawing on their personal stories, and those of aspec friends all over the world, prepare to explore your microlabels, investigate different models of partnership, delve into the intersection of gender norms and compulsory sexuality and reconsider the meaning of sex - when allosexual attraction is out of the equation.

I haven't read all of these books, so I can't guarantee all of them. But I did my best researching all of them. I was making this list on my own and I was amazed that I could find over 100 books with asexual characters and I wanted to share it!

The Aromantic Book List is now out!

Tagging some people who were excited about this list: @sweetspiderstew @majorgenerally @shayberri789 @53rdcenturyhero @knightoflodis @neonghost39 @rosaazulina

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neoplatinum · 2 months

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is there someone else? - the weeknd | son chaeyoung

summary: oh, is there someone else or not?, 'cause i wanna keep you close

pairing: chaeyoung x 10th-member!reader

themes: angst, alcohol, cigarettes, some of twice, implied sex

wc: 1.3k

“tell me.” chaeyoung stares at you, her eyes unfocused, and peering down at your lips.

she grabs the cigarette out of your mouth, putting it between her own lips and taking a long drag.

“chaeyoung, tell me.”

“what do you want me to say?” she pulls the cigarette out to flick the ends into her ashtray. “that i love you? that i want to be with you?”

“chaeyoung, are you fucking with me right now? just tell me how you feel.” you scoff, pushing your legs together.

“what? i told you how i felt already.” she continues to take your cigarette, taking long puffs.

her voice doesn’t waver like yours, she doesn’t have to feel overwhelming dread whenever she has to ask for more. all she does is take and take and take.

you don’t know how much you can offer of yourself anymore, until you become swallowed whole by her.

she doesn’t spend hours staring at her ceiling thinking about you, she doesn’t spend years staring at you out of the corner of her eye. she doesn’t call you when things go well, it doesn’t even seem like she pays much attention to anything about you.

“you told me that you liked me while we were fucking chaeyoung,” you stare at her, her eyes distant and far away.

“yeah i did.” she takes another drag.

“is that it? is that the only way you think about me?” you feel yourself falling apart, the anxiety bubbling over, are you only a secondary thought?

why won’t she take time for you?

who has she been seeing?

why can you only see her when the lights are dimmed and no one’s around?

“no, i care about you too.” she lets the smoke lift into the alleyway, barely noticeable under the dim lamppost. you hate the feeling inside of you, all consuming and suffering.

that’s all there is with chaeyoung, just suffering until you can’t hold onto it anymore.

“i understand.” you turn your feet, leaving the alleyway, feeling the pain sear through your chest, even the rain that’s been pouring feels like mist.

she continues to blow smoke into the night, letting her eyes watch you as you round the corner. she stays there for a while.

“happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you!” jihyo continues to clap for you, her eyes on the sparkling cake that you’re holding and you smile at her. your lovely leader who will always try her best to make your birthdays the most memorable.

her voice drowns out as you stare at chaeyoung and mina, shoulders brushing and soft giggles, hands brushing each other. your grip on the cake loosens, and jeongyeon rushes to grab it before it falls, playfully scolding you.

but you can’t do it, you can’t be happy here, you love these girls, and are in love with one in particular. one that doesn’t talk to you anymore.

it’s like, it’s like you’re invisible to her.

turned into a person just watching her pass by. how isolating it is to be in the same group but feel so unseen.

in the same person is someone who won’t give you the time of day, pushing your needs aside for her own. but will shower in the other’s girls affection.

you can feel a rift starting the form, staff are asking around. beating around the bush of the sudden distance between you and chaeyoung.

official photos with you and chae on opposite ends or always separated by a member. you try not to look at her as much anymore, knowing she doesn’t even take a second to look at you.

nights in showers staring at the tiles, letting the warmth of the water cover you much like she used too. a comfort you aren’t afforded anymore.

you never stay in the same room with only her, always protected by a third person, separated in the kitchen by counters or fridge doors. you start to feel like you need to physically protect your own heart. this ugly feeling growing vines.

but it’s not like she cares.

she doesn’t bat an eye at the sudden change, she lives her life just the same. days spent outside with friends, laughing in green rooms loudly. doing tiktok challenges with other members, still smoking out her window as night when you catch the signature scent. and maybe that’s the truth, you were never as important to her as you assumed.

did you ask for too much?

were you just a warm body to her?

you spend days removing her imprint from your room. collecting all the small art and her music laying around, shoving them into corners of your room. much like she shoved them into the corners of your mind.

you shove them all into a bag, and drop it at her door. leaving down the hall back to your own room. trying your best to hug yourself all alone.

it’s not like she would notice.

the bag’s gone the next morning, a simple “thank you” message from your phone lighting up.

you don’t reply.

“you like chaeyoung.” tzuyu’s eyes are staring down your wounded heart, one that you’ve tried to keep in bandages, preventing it from bleeding further. but tzuyu, quiet and observant tzuyu, always notices what’s hidden.

“yeah?” you take another swig of the hard liquor, letting it settle in your mouth. the burning sensation feeling lighter than the weight of the past week or so. “what makes you say that?”

tzuyu grabs a napkin, handing it to you. you wipe the corners of your mouth harshly. tzuyu thinks you look absolutely like a train wreck. the flushed skin, stumbling feet, and unkempt hair.

“the way you look at her like you’re in pain. it’s obvious.”

you just laugh.

it’s all such a shame you chose chaeyoung.

such a shame, you with your never ending affection, one that even rivaled sana’s physical touchiness. people used to think that you and sana were like two twins, showering your love on the other members.

until recently, there’s been a distinct quietness with you now.

seeking refuge in your own head, clouded by thoughts of confusion and curiosity. some nights at the dorm, you just stare.

stare into the distance, replaying memories like an old film. wondering if everything was simply a memory or a dream.

is it even worth the fighting?

is that the only time she’ll be passionate?

only when you corner her, after she leaves you again, does she ever seem to care. you can’t lose her, you can’t lose the spot that you’ve fought so hard to keep.

you smoke to cloud your senses in her, a familiar scent that hung in the air. one that no longer exists, so you smoke the feelings of love to resurface. like a past drug.

“hey? you okay?” tzuyu scoots closer, placing a hand on your shoulder.

why won’t this feeling of pain end?

you want her forever and ever.

“no.” you fall forward, head into your hands. a sob erupting in your body, choked feelings coming out in sobs. you begin to shake in tzuyu’s arms. you’re glad only tzuyu is here right now.

-- “why did you do it?” chaeyoung pours herself another shot. downing it as you both stare at each other across the dining table.

like a drug you can’t quit, she called you last night. only to be followed by an empty bed the next morning. you find her smoking out back.

“do what?” she puts the glass down, letting the burn run down.

“why do you keep calling me?”

another shot.

you grab the shot glass, her eyes going wide. “tell me.”

“because, you’re there.” she says, tossing her feet up.

“that’s it? that’s all i am? just there?” she doesn’t move.

all those compliments about how beautiful you are, how glad she is that you two are so close, how she cherishes you like no other.

who else has she said these words to?

who’s heart has she captured that’s not you?

“is it mina?” you ask.

she shakes her head no. “there’s no one.”

“but i’m just there.” you comment.

there’s no one else, you’re just there.

you aren’t even the someone else.

you are just there.

a/n: wrote this for @nr1chaedickrider, all the angst for you darling <33. stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

#chaeyoung #chaeyoung x reader #twice chaeyoung #chaeyoung twice #son chaeyoung #twice x you #twice x reader #twice #kpop imagines #angst4chae'spookums #neoplatinum

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autism-alley · 4 months

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hi originally posted this at the end of a long thread of back and forth, here’s the og post if you want full context but i feel like this needs to be its own post especially bc i keep seeing this argument being made—the argument that the kids (in this case it was annabeth) SHOULD just know the monsters are monsters and who they are and how to defeat them before ever encountering them, that it’s a problem if they don’t.

the problem is not if 12 year olds should recognize a trap when they see one, even if they’re smart 12 year olds, and if that’s realistic. that is entirely beside the point.

the problem is rick riordan wrote a book series whose formula is bringing myths to the modern age and he’s not sticking true to that in the show—percy jackson and the olympians’ Shtick is taking these classic, ancient threats and giving them a new face. these traps work because these kids are not walking into a cave marked with Get Out and getting ambushed by monsters—the monsters are disguised as harmless mortal human beings, in harmless mortal human being places (for the most part) and i think we—and more importantly, the show—are all forgetting the mist, the magic involved here. it’s not just that medusa is a “creepy lady with her eyes covered” it’s that there is ancient magic at work here, magic that, like the systems of abuse pjo exists to criticize, has been evolving and continuing its malevolence for millennia. it’s formulaic, that’s the point. it’s the same trap you’ve learned about all your childhood, the same trap a thousand children before you learned all their childhoods, and still, it works. you fall into the trap. because that’s how generational abuse works. it’s a trap. it isn’t enough to learn monsters exist, what they look like from a second hand story that originated thousands of years ago. if you want to escape alive, you have to adapt as quickly as they do, recognize their face, and ultimately, beyond any individual trap, the game itself has to change. real, generational change.

so. the problem is rick riordan wrote a series with a formula for action that perfectly captures the overarching, systemic conflicts he was commentating on, and then threw that formula out in the show because it was “unrealistic”. i don’t give a damn about realism when it works to the detriment of the story. this is a story about generational abuse, yes, but it’s told through ‘a tale as old as time’ and that’s why it works so fucking well. and when it comes to basic storytelling, if your characters know the threat before they even walk in and you do practically nothing to then make up for the stakes you have removed, that’s a flaw. now you’ve lost the entertainment value for your audience, on top of also lessening your themes.

something else that is so. honestly soul-crushing as a writer and a creative, is that to me this is reflective of the way we are now afraid to tell earnest stories. stories where we care not for listening to the people who want to pick apart fictional, mythical, fantasy stories for not being “realistic” instead of aligning with our target audience who acknowledges reality is not what makes a story. think of your favorite movie, show, book, comic, what have you—has the reason for your favoritism ever been because it is the most reasonable, the most grounded, the most practical out of any you’ve seen? or is it because of the emotion? the way it speaks to you, to your life and the person you are? the journey it takes you on? is the percy jackson and the olympians book series so good because it’s inherently realistic?

the secret to storytelling is, very simply, focus on your story. everything else is secondary. if it’s written well, it doesn’t matter to me that the characters walk into a trap that, to the audience, is obviously a trap. because i can understand how the characters don’t know it, and how the story falls apart if the narrative just tells the characters it’s a trap from the jump. that’s what dramatic irony is—first used in greek tragedies! this is literally a tale as old as time in every sense except for the end—where it’s happy. and it’s not earned if we don’t first see, over and over, the status quo as a tragic trap.

it’s not about if annabeth (or the other kids) is “smart enough” to not walk into a trap, or about if she’s just too prideful to not walk into what she knows is a trap (or any reason that could apply to the other characters), it’s that annabeth, at the end of the day, is a character. she is a storytelling tool for the messages of the narrative. that doesn’t make her any lesser. in fact ignoring it reduces her, because it reduces what she represents. it’s about how rick riordan, or whoever else at disney, has fumbled the storytelling bag so ridiculously hard that they can’t take the simple, effective formula outlined from start to finish (by good ol 2009 rick himself) and adapt it to the screen without answering the most unimportant, derailing, anti-story questions.

#one of the ppl who reblogged the og post said whatever happened to suspension of disbelief and i could have kissed them on the mouth #yes exactly #this new age of audiences who praise ‘realism’ over good storytelling i hate u #‘content over cinema’ i hate u.#i’m not even a screenwriter but any writer can tell you #we’re talking foundations of the craft here #and the worst part is rick already succeeded in the books #if it ain’t broke don’t fix it #where along this path did he lose sight of everything he set out to say?#anyways this is its own post now go forth and do with it what u will #pjo #percy jackson #pjo show crit #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson tv show #annabeth chase #ris raves

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scryingworkshop · 1 year

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#imperial #male #dragon #vipera #iris primary #peregrine #mist secondary #capsule #radioactive tertiary #nature #unusual eyes #mod picks

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floralcyanide · 5 months

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⊱ 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝐺𝑜𝑙𝑑 ― 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑢𝑠 𝑆𝑛𝑜𝑤 ⊰

[ ᴀ ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ᴀʟᴛᴇʀɴᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ ғᴀɴғɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ]

1960s ᴜs ᴘʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴄᴀɴᴅɪᴅᴀᴛᴇ!ᴄᴏʀɪᴏʟᴀɴᴜs sɴᴏᴡ x ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒: 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑒.

౨ৎ 18+ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs ᴏɴʟʏ !

⊹ summary: the first time you meet coriolanus snow, you're unsure how to gauge him. but a conversation opens a new door for you politically. ⊹ pairing: young!coriolanus snow / fem!reader ⊹ warnings: consumption of alcohol ⊹ word count: 3331 ⊹ author’s note: I'm so excited to finally post this hehe. I know everyone has been so hype about this series and I'm proud to introduce to you the first chapter. any feedback is welcome. ♡

౨ৎ divider credit: @cafekitsune

౨ৎ sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ | sᴇʀɪᴇs sᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ | sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

౨ৎ this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

❝A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.❞ ― John F. Kennedy

It’s a peculiarly warm day in New England despite traces of snow still blanketing the dead grass in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts. A blizzard had blown through the night you arrived, and the remains of the storm are now melting away with each passing moment. A veil of mist hangs in the air by the ocean, the mixture of freezing sea water and balmy air still trickling in from the middle Atlantic lingers. You’re watching the thin fog swirl around in the cool breeze as you stand in front of the formal living room window. The Kennedy Compound is just far enough from the beach that you can see it clearly from the front of the main house where you currently reside. And though a part of you longs to be outside after being cooped up for days due to that nasty winter storm, you’d rather not be bombarded with the still fairly bitter and salty air. Thin, long sleeves cover your arms as they cross over your chest despite the warmth of the fire in the den nearby. The house is still and silent. Everyone seems to be off doing their own thing after dinner wrapped up not long ago.

At 18 years old and beginning your secondary education journey, you never would have believed that you’d be where you are a decade later. You’re now 28, working toward your dual-title doctorate in political science and history at Harvard University. You’re so close to finally graduating, and it’s almost bittersweet. You wish your parents were around to see it. You’re the first in your entire family to go to university, not to mention the first to go to Harvard. Going to such a pristine school is unheard of in your neighborhood. What’s more unheard of, is your privilege to closely study and research your chosen dissertation topic. You decided you would research the life and ongoing legacy of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the 35th President of the United States.

Except for the amount of data and information you need, you have to interview and research extensively. Which means having to eventually meet the man himself. 18-year-old you also would never believe that you would meet the President and shake his hand. Or even get to know him past the facade he puts on for the world. But it doesn’t stop there. Due to the difficulty of getting ahold of John F. Kennedy after his passing of the Civil Rights Act of 1963 and the Interracial Marriage Act, a decision was ultimately made. The chaos of Capitol Hill and the citizens of the United States pushed John F. Kennedy to leave for the holidays much sooner than usual. After getting to know you well enough over a few months, the decision was made that John F. Kennedy would invite you to stay with him and his family in Hyannis Port. Just for a few weeks, through Christmas and New Year. It isn’t like you had anything else to do or anyone to spend it with. Besides, this will be your chance to get exclusive information about the man and his family for your dissertation.

So here you are in the Kennedy family home. In the last week you’ve been here, you’ve gotten to know Jack and his family quite well. You had insisted on remaining professional and calling Jack by his real name, but he refused that. “All my friends call me Jack.”

You’ve gotten the inside scoop on Jack’s childhood and his chronic illness that has carried into adulthood. The military history in the family has also been spilled to you, and not a single detail has fallen on deaf ears. You’ve filled two notebooks already. When you aren’t scribbling down everything, you’re nose-deep in a book Jack has written. Currently, you’re reading Profiles in Courage and have found it quite interesting. You decide you’ve done enough staring out the window and that you’d join Bobby and Ted outside at the bonfire. Once you’re outside, they’re heading back indoors. But they offer to leave the fire going for you. Graciously, you accept their offer and take a seat by the warm flames, opening up Profiles in Courage.

You’re blissfully unaware of how much time has passed, your eyes eagerly scanning each word in each line as if they’d disappear any moment. You almost don’t notice the sound of snow crunching underneath someone’s approaching feet.

“Sorry to bother you, but Jack is asking for you inside.”

You nearly jump out of your skin at the sound of a man’s voice that you don’t recognize. You peer over your book at him and gauge that he must be safe, even if you don’t know who he is, considering the house is crawling with security.

“Alright, then,” you nod, putting your book down before standing up, stretching, and brushing yourself off.

You look closer at the man before you as the orange flicker of the fire basks him in an angelic glow. His hair is a mess of stark blonde curls, and he’s in a white button-up, the sleeves rolled up his forearms.

“And who might you be, exactly?” you ask, tilting your head slightly in confusion.

“Excuse my lack of introduction. My name is Coriolanus Snow. Jack’s best friend.”

You quirk an eyebrow, exhaling a laugh, “But Lem is Jack’s best friend.”

The blonde man chuckles, taking a step closer to you, “Well, maybe there’s a lot about Jack you don’t know about just yet.”

You narrow your eyes at this Coriolanus Snow, not caring that your shoulder collides with him as you swerve around his tall figure. You walk briskly back to the main house, wondering how this mystery man has yet to be brought up. When you enter the front door, Jackie is holding John Jr. in the foyer.

“I was just looking for you, dear,” she says, “Jack is asking for you.”

“So I’ve heard,” you raise your eyebrows at Jackie, and John Jr. reaches for you. You poke the boy on the tip of his nose.

Jackie gives you a confused look, but you’re quick to explain, “Some man outside said that Jack was. He isn’t Secret Service.”

Realization crosses her soft features, “Ah, Coriolanus, I’m guessing?”

“You’d be correct.”

“He’s a long-time friend of Jack’s from Harvard. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of him. His father was a New York senator for years.”

“Can’t say I’m too familiar with the Snows,” you purse your lips together, “But if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go see what Jack needs me for.”

Jackie lifts John Jr.’s hand to wave goodbye to you, and you give him a big smile, waving back. You walk through the den to the staircase, trodding up the stairs until you reach the landing. The office is immediately to your right, and when you approach the door, you knock. When you do, the slightly ajar door opens wide enough to see Jack laughing and conversing with someone in the room.

“I don’t mean to interrupt-“ you begin as you step inside the office, but you still yourself quickly.

Your eyes meet Coriolanus Snow’s steely blue ones as he leans against Jack’s desk, his forearms bearing his weight. His head is turned to you, his face appearing as if he were shocked by your arrival.

You clear your throat, fixing your gaze back onto your original point of interest, “But I was told you were requesting my presence?”

“Yes, I was,” Jack smiles at you from his spot in his desk chair, “I’d like you to meet Coriolanus Snow, a great friend and colleague of mine. We attended Harvard way back when.”

Coriolanus stands up, straightening himself out. You notice he has an air about him that oozes confidence and prestige. His presence and towering height would seem intimidating to some upon the first meeting. Not to you, however. With your life focus being on politics, you’re quite desensitized from men and their faux personas.

“Nice to meet you,” you bite back a remark about already meeting Jack’s friend and stick out a hand, face blank and expressionless, “I currently attend Harvard myself.”

“Coriolanus, this is the bright Ph.D. student I was telling you about. She will be here until the New Year,” Jack says, a prideful grin on his face as he motions to you, “Be nice to her, she’s known to hold her ground.”

“I can tell,” Coriolanus gives Jack a close-lipped smile, his eyes averting to you.

You stand by Jack almost protectively, unsure of how to feel about the blonde man before you. The fact he managed to beat you inside and upstairs when you left him outside first made you wonder. Coriolanus’s physique in itself is alluring and piques your interest. He also seems quick-witted and the type to be a few steps ahead of everyone. It’s not hard to gauge this just from a few exchanged words. You’ve been studying and shadowing long enough to know who you’re interacting with. You study political science, for crying out loud. You know a born and bred power-hungry man when you see one. But at the end of the day, they’re just flesh and blood like those outside of the game. That’s the historian part of you trying not to judge Coriolanus so hard. You don’t know all the facts yet. If Jack is friends with him, he may not be so bad, despite the dark vibe he gives off. But you want to figure out why he appears so stiff.

“Coriolanus will be staying with us until New Year,” Jack turns to you, patting your back as he notices your shift in mood, “You don’t mind some extra company, do ya?”

“Not at all,” you smile sweetly at your mentor before turning to Coriolanus, “Besides, there’s still a lot about you that I don’t know about just yet. And I’d love to hear all about it.”

Jack hums in agreement. Coriolanus raises his eyebrows at you, and you raise yours back. He clears his throat, standing up slightly straighter than previously.

“I can always pour us some wine, and we can discuss some lighthearted details before turning in,” Coriolanus offers you, “If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“That sounds lovely. If you gentlemen will excuse me, I must grab my belongings from outside, and then I’ll be available in the den, Coriolanus.”

Jack and Coriolanus watch as you leave the room, closing the door behind you. Jack feels fairly content and is proud of his esteemed shadow getting along with his best friend. Or, appearing to be, anyway. Coriolanus is silent and remains neutral in his facial expression. He carefully turns the idea of you over and over in his head. There’s something to your character that intrigues him. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t figure it out.

When Jack and Coriolanus wrap up their conversation, you’re getting settled in the den. You’re curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace, continuing your book from earlier. You circle a sentence that catches your attention, gnawing on the tip of the pen as you think of what Jack could have meant by this specific statement. You’re ripped from your thoughts when a hand delicately holds a glass of blood-red wine in front of you.

You abruptly close your book, taking the glass of wine, “Thank you.”

You don’t look at Coriolanus as he sits down, and he does so quietly without breaking his eyes from you. He keeps his focus on you as he sips his wine, and you can feel him do so as you stare into the flames in front of the couch.

“So,” Coriolanus clears his throat, “How long have you known Jack?”

You pause, taking your time to swallow your wine before glancing over to Coriolanus with little to no expression. You flash him a closed-lip smile before setting your glass down on the table, “Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to.”

Coriolanus is taken aback, not showing it other than his raised brows before responding, “I see. And what makes you think I already know the answer to that?”

“Despite what society may think, a woman isn’t as daft as she appears to be. Given a man in her presence is smart enough to know that she isn’t, anyway,” you stare at him, unblinking, “No offense Senator Snow, but I know you’re a man of Harvard. And you know I’m a woman of Harvard, so let’s cut the chit-chat.”

Coriolanus slides his tongue across his teeth underneath his closed mouth before chuckling smartly, “I can see why Jack chose you. And you’re right, I did know the answer. But not every source is reliable.”

You lean down to retrieve your drink, “And why would Jack be an unreliable source?”

Coriolanus shrugs, “Well, as I’m sure you know, Jack knows his way around the ladies.”

“Am I supposed to be offended by this common knowledge, Mister Snow?” you swirl your wine around in the glass, peering up at him warningly.

“Of course not,” he furrows his brows, shaking his head in light disgust, “But you’re not unattractive by any means, miss.”

You scoff, “I’m very well aware. But your suggestion that I would entertain a superior I’m studying for one thing is pretty crass.”

Coriolanus waves a dismissive hand, “You know how Jack is-”

“Yes, I do,” you say sternly, “However, I’d never involve myself in nonsense.”

“And why is that?”

You tilt your head at the man, laughing in awe at his brazenness, “For starters, he has a loving and caring wife. Someone I rather respect and admire, actually.”

Coriolanus nods, sipping his wine without a word. It’s not the only reason, of course. But it takes anyone with common sense to know why you wouldn’t so much as poke Jack with a ten-foot stick. Yet you still decide to take this friend of Jack’s by surprise.

“And besides,” you shrug, “I prefer blondes,” you say plainly, throwing back the remainder of your wine as Coriolanus fights to keep his jaw from dropping.

“Now,” you lean against your knee that’s crossed over your other leg, holding your empty glass out to Coriolanus, “I’m studying the man and have studied him for years already. So, how about you tell me something I don’t know, hm?”

It takes a little while for Coriolanus to warm up to your snarky attitude, given he is the reason you have one. But you also take some time to soften up yourself. You aren’t always so bitey- not unless deeply provoked. And all that Coriolanus Snow has done is provoke you as long as you’ve known him, which has only been a few hours. But the more the two of you talk and drink, the more you both begin to unravel. It takes about three glasses of vintage wine to make Coriolanus crack a genuine smile for the first time in front of you. Which, by all means, was not normal for him, especially around someone he just met. More so around a woman in general. However, just as you know there’s something to Coriolanus, he knows there’s something to you as well. And he has barely even scratched the surface.

“One night during his campaign, he had a little too much to drink at a dinner, and his accent was so thick I had to translate,” Coriolanus says, his chin resting in his hand. His arm is propped on the arm of the couch that you are perched on where he now also sits. Coriolanus is far enough from you to be civil but close enough for you to feel the heat radiating from him. For someone with such a cold demeanor, he could put the fireplace to shame.

You cover your mouth to stifle a laugh, “That’s actually quite funny, considering how thick it is in general. I can’t imagine how it must sound while he’s a few sheets to the wind.”

“Exactly,” Coriolanus lifts his finger from his glass to point at you, “But in actuality, it was a test.”

You look at him confused as you pour a fourth glass for yourself, “How so?”

“Jack wanted to make sure I knew what to say to voters and donors,” Coriolanus says, finishing his wine.

You offer to pour him more, to which he accepts, “Why would that matter?”

“He knew I was planning to run this year.”

You set the bottle of wine down, “To run?” you repeat, openly laughing now, “For what? Cabinet?”

“No. President.”

The burn of alcohol shoots pitifully through your sinuses, nearly exiting your nose as you struggle to cover your obvious laugh. You sniff harshly, covering your mouth and nose with the back of your hand as you swallow the remainder of the wine, recovering the best you can before answering.

“Normally, I’d believe a senator who says that, but before today I had no idea who you were, Coriolanus,” you look at him incredulously, “The election is eleven months away now. You need to, and pardon me when I say this, light a fire under your ass.”

Now it’s Coriolanus’s turn to laugh, “Shocking you’ve never heard of me, considering you’re a political science guru.”

“Shocking that I’ve never heard of you, considering you’re a senator of the United States of America under John F. Kennedy and running for the thirty-sixth President of the United States,” you bark in response, your initial disliking of this man rising back to the surface.

Coriolanus’s jaw jerks to the side before he looks down in his lap, nodding to himself, “No, you’re right. I do need to light a fire under my ass.”

You shrug, finishing your wine and not bothering for another glass.

“How about since you made me realize this, you can help me out.”

You set the empty glass on the table before sinking back into the couch, crossing your arms as you look straight at Coriolanus, “Help you out with what, exactly?”

“My campaign,” Coriolanus says.

“You’re terribly hilarious, you know. I have too much to worry about right now to help a grown man who should already have a plan if he truly wanted to win the election.”

Coriolanus goes to defend himself, but you interrupt, “Before you give me some sort of excuse, yes, I know you’re a grown man. Yes, I do have too much to worry about. I’m literally writing a book about a man and his entire life. Yes, you most definitely should already have a plan by now if you want to win.”

Coriolanus just stares at you, unsure of what to say, but again you give your two cents, “And yes, as much as I probably shouldn’t, I will help you. But you will owe me big time. Got it?”

It takes a moment for Coriolanus to realize you’ve agreed to help out, but when he does, there’s a slight glow of gratitude in his eyes, “Thank you. I know I’m seriously behind, but I know I can do this. Especially if someone as well-endowed as you is helping me.”

“Yeah, well, I’m well-endowed in more ways than one, but politics is just the icing on the cake, sweetheart. So, let’s continue this tomorrow before I fall asleep here.”

Standing up from the couch after numerous glasses of wine has proven tricky. Your head swims, and you sway slightly from side to side. Coriolanus has to rest a gentle hand on the small of your back in order for you to steady yourself. You glance at him, letting your eyes linger in silent thanks, before collecting yourself and walking out of the den into the hallway. After putting your book and notes away, you strip your clothing and curl up under the soft duvet on your bed. Hopefully, your craving for political experience and curiosity in your interest won’t land you into trouble with Coriolanus Snow. But you’re eager to find out.

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sleepy-writes-stuff · 1 year

Text

DP X DC WRITING PROMPT #15

(#) = Notes at the end of post

✦

A Lonely Star Shines in the Night

The Guys in White have gone too far. So far that the Danny's universe as they know it is collapsing into itself as a result of the agent's foolish attempt to rid the land of the dead, undying, and neverborn. They tried nuking the Infinite Realms and all it got them was their dimension erased with the Infinite Realms only suffering minor damage.

Either way, Danny's home is gone.

In the struggle to gather his family and spirit them away into the Ghost Zone, he was separated from them when the GIW blew the portal to smithereens with him on the other side and his family still in the living realm. Overtaken by grief, his core cracking from his failure to protect those precious to him, he scoured the Realms for a natural portal back, to no avail.

In his search, he is nearly driven mad by his desperation. Unable to see their King in such pain and slowly unraveling into a second coming of Pariah Dark, Clockwork, Frostbite, and Pandora gather their strength and force him into an entirely different universe to grieve and heal. A universe full of heroes. He won't know this for a while, however, because where he ended up was the old Gotham observatory.

With his obsession of protecting--his friends, his family, his town, his entire world--torn to shreds, his damaged core magnified his secondary obsession: the very cosmos itself. His core latched onto the remaining obsession and inadvertently temporarily tied Danny to the very foundation of the old observatory. That is where he lingers for years, unable to leave and unable to stop crying for his lost family and friends, repeating their names over and over in a neverending mantra.

It isn't until much later that people start to notice his presence, due to the observatory having been unused for decades. What use was an observatory if you couldn't even see the stars in the perpetual smog that blanketed the city? At some point, however, a couple of daring teenagers snuck into the observatory one night and had a first hand encounter with a strange being. Needless to say, they didn't stick around for much longer. The reports they made to the police and what they posted on social media the next day were nonetheless wildly interesting.

Each of them described relatively the same thing. Of first seeing a bright, sliver star shining in the dark(1) of the empty building but then quickly noticing it was set in the center of the chest of a being that might as well have been made from the black void of the night sky itself. They described a being with hair that faded into white, glowing mist that was circled by a crown of ice crystals and star dust. Most notable of all to them, however, were the low humming whispers coupled with the mercury tears leaking from aurora green eyes in a neverending stream that dripped and echoed hauntingly across the marble floors below.

Of course, no one really believed their wild tales at first. Then it became a game among high schoolers and college students to wander the old observatory just to see if they would catch sight of this mysterious being. If not, no harm done. That is until one student accidentally injured themselves trying to find this ghost they've been hearing rumors about. (2)

Regardless of whether or not the being inhabiting the observatory directly caused this student's injury, he's gained the Batclan's attention.

✦

Notes:

(1) The star in his chest is his core. The black/night parts of his ghost form are slightly translucent even when not intangible/invisible. You can literally see straight through him to his core, which basically looks like a condensed white dwarf star. Also, due to the damage his core has taken and his grief, it's cracking and looks like it's going to go supernova.

(2) Danny didn't directly cause the student to get injured. The student literally just turned the corner and nearly ran right into Danny as he was wandering in his grief-stricken stupor. This caused the student to freak out, run the opposite direction, and fall down a flight of stairs cause they weren't watching where they placed their feet. Danny is not violent or territorial here. His mind has literally checked out and left because trauma, grief, and a fractured sense of ghostly self are one hell of a combo on a halfa.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #danny is stuck/forced to haunt the old Gotham observatory after the GIW royally screw up #danny gets pushed into another dimension to heal/deal with his grief around people who can help him #the batclan get invested and extremely worried for danny almost immediately upon meeting him #danny has two obsessions #protection and space #danny is ghost king #ghost core #his core looks like a white dwarf star #it also looks like its on the brink of going supernova #if someone doesn't help him soon thats exactly what will happen and he'll basically cease to exist #dp crossover #danny phantom crossover #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #writing prompt #prompt #sleepy-writes-stuff

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thelampisaflashlight · 2 months

Text

The ghouls, but specifically stuff about the water/water hybrids ghouls. Let's go.

-Due to the instability of his vessel, Water, the first ghoul to hold the bass position in the band, was destroyed by his own magic, and thus returned to the pit.

His successor, Lake, and Lake's subsequent replacement, River, also succumbed to this same issue, but, after an unfortunate amount of trial and error, the ministry was able to create their first viable water ghoul; Delta.

However, until Mist's summoning not long after, the ministry could not confirm whether or not they truly fixed the issue or not, as Delta was a hybrid, leading to the false conclusion that his quintessence magic kept him from succumbing to his water side.

-It's largely Delta's fault that there's a tradition of "bullying the new guy" among the band ghouls, generally speaking, but especially in regards to new water ghouls.

Delta teased Mist, Mist teased Dew... and then Delta decided to tease Dew, too.

Rain managed to escape this particular hazing ritual largely because Delta enjoyed teasing Dew more than him, and because Dew elected to go the, "I don't want to talk to you." route instead.

-Since leaving the band, Delta has been more in-tune with his quintessence side, and so he has taken up a position in the abbey's infirmary as part of the medical staff.

This is the only place where his antics involving Dew/teasing him are strictly not allowed, a rule which he respects due to his want to retain his job.

He also does not use any of Dew's -or anyone's- health information in his jokes, as even he thinks that would be crossing a line.

-Mist and Rain are saltwater variant ghouls, whereas Delta and Dew are freshwater, with their secondary subcategories...

Mist-Abyssopelagic Zone (The Abyss) variant, Rain-Mesopelagic Zone (The Twilight Zone) variant, Dew-Tundra/Plains Hybrid variant, Delta-Wetland/Temperate Forest Hybrid variant.

...This basically means they're all water, but their relationship with it is very different.

Mist's water magic is survival/instinct based, meaning it is used predominantly for hunting, whereas Rain's is used more so for camouflaging him, allowing him to glamour himself more readily than others.

Since Delta and Dew are hybrids, their magic is a bit more specific in terms of which form they have the most control of it in.

Delta can only manipulate freshwater containing dirt and debris, meaning he's good at removing impurities from water and cleaning it/cleansing wounds, which makes him an excellent addition to the medical staff.

And Dew can... Dew can make ice? Act like a humidifier?

...Yeah, he kind of got the short end of the stick on that one.

And lastly;

-The water ghouls all have a pact that if anyone messes with one of them, then they're all obligated to jump said person, no further questions asked.

One witness to such an event heard the "victim" shouting, "THE BITCHES HAVE UNIONIZED!" and indeed, indeed they had.

#lamp rambles #shitghosting #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #delta ghoul #mist ghoulette #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band headcanons #nameless ghoul headcanons

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fantastic-fr-scries · 1 year

Text

Veilspun Male

Lavender / Lavender / Mist , Shell / Web / Branches

#flight rising #flight rising dragon #flight rising veilspun #fr veilspun #scrying workshop #flight rising scry #fr scries #lavender lavender mist #shell primary #web secondary #branches tertiary

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jeankluv · 6 days

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Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 12

words: 5,2k

summary: While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as " hate " was a strong word, rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths.

Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.

ac: _3aem

tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball, Gojo needs a hug

notes: long af chapter but full of things, everything I have to tell you is, trust me. Sorry if there are any typos, I think there aren’t any but let me know so I can correct them.

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As you looked at your result on your phone and then at Satoru's, confirming that you had both achieved the same perfect score, a feeling of relief washed over you. The bet had ended in a tie.

Leaning back in your seat, you couldn't help but make a small pout with your lips. You looked at Satoru, who was engrossed in the screen of his own phone, the nervousness that had disappeared took over you again.

The adrenaline of the exam results had momentarily pushed aside the weight of the conversation you were supposed to have with him that day. But now, as the reality of the situation returned to your consciousness, a knot formed in your stomach and heat rose to your cheeks.

As you cleared your throat and sat up straight in your chair, the weight of the conversation fell on you, you couldn't help but feel a surge of nerves coursing through your veins.

“Satoru…” You whispered nervously, turning to look at him. "After class, we should talk."

He turned to look at you, his expression unreadable, and he responded quietly. "Sure.”

You met his gaze briefly before quickly looking away from him, the intensity of his gaze sending a shiver down your spine. How was it possible that you didn't feel even a hint of nervousness? Was it possible that he had forgotten what happened Saturday night?

But even as you considered the possibility, a nagging doubt lingered in the back of your mind. What if the whole movie you were playing in your head ended up being real? It couldn't be like that, right? Satoru was probably holding it together, but inside he was just as nervous as you. Right?

As the lecture began, your mind drifted between the professor talking and the conversation you needed to hold with Satoru. You could not focus as your mind kept on circling back to the events that occurred in the club and outside of it. Parts of your mind were still confused as if a mist had taken over but other parts were as clear as a sunny day.

And with the time passing, your anticipation only grew bigger. You could feel the knot of nerves on your stomach as if you were about to throw up at any moment.

You stole glances towards Satoru, trying to read him. But it seemed he was completely calm and relaxed.

When the professor gave his farewell you knew the moment arrived. You didn’t move from your chair, as you watched students getting out of the class. You glanced at Satoru, who this time was also looking back at you.

Your nerves only grew bigger as you focused on his gaze. Taking a deep breath to steady those nerves that were inside of you and you spoke.

“Satoru.” You began, feeling how your voice was shaking just by saying his name. “Can we talk?”

He nodded, his expression being soft which made you feel relaxed. You got up from the chair and started walking out, you didn’t want to have that conversation in the middle of a classroom. Satoru followed you in silence. With each step taken, you could feel the air growing heavier

When you finally arrived at a more intimate place, you looked at Satoru. “Satoru…”

“Did you rest well?” He cut you.

“Huh?” You said, confused. “Oh! You mean because of the hangover?” Satoru nodded. “Yeah, yeah I… I sleep well.”

“Good, I’m glad. You looked tired.” He said with a faint smile.

“Satoru, I don’t remember much about what happened.” You began, feeling your heart racing. “Only pieces… but I…” How could you continue?

“It’s okay birdie.” He assured you.

“No wait!” You stopped him. “I remember something clearly.” You pointed out. “During the 20 questions I asked you, how many shots do you need to kiss me.” Looking at him you took a deep breath. “And you told me to ask you again once we were sober. So I’m asking you again, Satoru. How many shots do you need to kiss me?”

Satoru took a step forward, closing the distance between you. “And I told you that my answer would remain the same, didn't I?” You nodded, feeling your cheeks redden. “I don't need any fucking drop of alcohol to want to kiss you birdie.” He whispered to you. “We didn't finish the game and it was my turn to ask.” He smiled. “Tell me birdie, how many drinks would you need to kiss me?”

Your gaze was upward due to your height difference, first you looked at those blue eyes, which looked at you with such intensity and then, then you looked at his lips. “None.” You whispered, feeling how Satoru was leaning towards you and your breaths began to mix due to the closeness between you.

“Say it, birdie.” He whispered in your mouth. “And I will...”

Without letting him finish the sentence you pulled him towards you and trapped your lips with his.

As your lips met an electric shock went through your hold body, a surge of serotonin flooded through and your heart started to race. Feeling how Satoru began to kiss you back only made those feelings increase.

You felt as the time stopped moving and as the world started to fade away. It was just the two of you at that moment. No one else.

You were grateful for having come to that place away from curious glances and possible whispers, there were only you and Satoru.

Satoru grabbed your face and deepened the kiss, causing you to feel a thousand butterflies flutter in your stomach. It seemed to be true that Satoru Gojo was perfect in everything he did.

Breaking the kiss but not separating from you yet, Satoru left a few more kisses on your lips and the corner of them. You were almost breathless but exhilarating, your eyes looked up, finding Satoru’s gaze looking down at you. Like always.

Rarely did you feel as ashamed as that moment, you wanted to run away and hide from that penetrating gaze.

“Birdie…” He whispered.

You hummed still shy after the kiss. “Satoru…” You looked down and played with your hands. “Do you…”

“I like you birdie. I have for quite some time.” You felt like your breath was cut off and your heart forgot how to beat.

Feeling like a teenager again, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by a rush of emotions as Satoru's heartfelt confession washed over you. Despite your attempts to hide your embarrassment, Satoru gently took your face in his hands, urging you to look into his eyes.

Your cheeks burned a deep shade of red, and you couldn't help but feel self-conscious under Satoru's intense gaze. You were sure you looked completely ridiculous with your cheeks flushed and lips possibly swollen from the kiss you had shared.

With a shy smile, you allowed yourself to meet Satoru's gaze. "I like you too." You whispered, in that instant, you felt a sense of release, as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. “But now I must look ridiculous.” You said with a small pout.

Satoru leaned down to place a soft kiss on your forehead, you closed your eyes, savoring the tenderness of the moment. “Maybe, but you also look fucking adorable.” He smiled, as he caressed your cheek. “Who would have told me, you could be so adorable.” He said in a mocking tone.

You rolled your eyes and stepped away slightly. "Idiot." You muttered.

“I'm the idiot you want.” He said pulling you closer to him.

“I guess you are.” A slight smile appeared on your lips. “About the bet?”

“Oh right…” He said still holding you.

“I think…” You bite your lip, not used to this kind of stuff. “We could still go out on a date.” You felt your whole face burning up with intensity as those words slipped out of your mouth.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” Satoru mocked.

“Ugh shut up.” You tried to free yourself from him, but it was impossible, he was stronger than you and he was holding tightly to you, as if he was afraid of losing you.

“Okay princess then I will take you out on a date.” He smiled.

Ugh you liked that smile so much.

“I have class.” You stepped away from his touch and you swore that Satoru looked like small puppy that just got abandoned. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“But you are leaving…” He pouted.

“Oh my god.” You turned your head. “Satoru, don’t do that!”

“Why? Does it make you nervous?” You felt him on your back. “But it’s the truth I will feel sad.”

“I can’t believe how clingy you are.” You looked at him. “It’s terrifying.”

“Only for you babe.” He said in a mockery tone. “You know I’m kidding right?” He held your hand.

“I don’t know anymore. But for real, I need to leave.” You looked at your hands.

“Okay…” He tilts his face until he is at your height and places a soft kiss on your lips. Closing your eyes you enjoyed the soft touch of her lips touching yours. “I will pick you up after work, birdie.”

As you nodded and let go of his hand, you walked away, still feeling the beat of your nervous heart pounding in your veins. When you arrived that morning, you hadn't imagined the conversation would take this turn, but your turbulent impulses and emotions had proven difficult to contain.

Now as you walked through the halls you couldn't help but smile as you remembered what you had experienced with Satoru just a few minutes ago.

Your heart was completely filled with joy and satisfaction, you had had enough courage to say and do what you felt, after having spent weeks repressing those feelings that threatened to come out at any moment.

Walking into your next classroom, you tried to hide your happiness but as soon as Kyoko saw you, she already knew something had happened.

“You are shining.” She commented as soon as you sat down. “Then tell me, what happened?”

Unable to contain your smile, you told him. "We kissed."

Kyoko's eyes widened in surprise, a smile spreading across her face as she leaned closer. "My God, really?" She exclaimed, her enthusiasm was contagious. "Tell me everything!"

Satoru Gojo POV

Satoru felt as if he were floating on a cloud. In that moment, he believed he could accomplish anything.

When he arrived at class that morning, he anticipated that you might not recall the events from before. After all, you hadn't reached out to him, and he hadn't heard from you all day yesterday. So, when he saw you in your usual spot, he experienced a peculiar sensation twist within him.

Typically, Satoru was someone who remained composed. He consistently excelled in his presentations and eagerly volunteered to read out loud as a child without any difficulty. Even when it came to matters of the heart, he remained unfazed. His heartbeat remained steady, and nervousness rarely crept in.

However, when it was about you, his world turned upside down, and he felt as though he were losing his grip on reality. The pulses in his veins quickened, and his heart pounded so fiercely in his chest that he could hear it reverberating in his ears.

So when you looked at him that morning with that certain gaze and asked to speak with him, Satoru felt as though he might lose his footing.

Satoru felt a feeling of joy invade his body as he remembered the kiss, kisses you had shared a few minutes ago. He could really die in peace.

“He already completely lost his mind.”

"Seems like it"

“Satoru, are you okay?”

Satoru was still in his world, although he had arrived at the table where his friends were, his mind was much further away.

“Satoru!” Suguru snapped his fingers in front of Satoru's face, causing him to shake his head and return to reality.

“Oh Suguru…” He responded surprised.

“You were completely lost.” Shoko spoke this time.

“Maybe…” A little smile escaped his lips.

“My God, you really look terrible.” Utahime looked at him with wide eyes.

“What can I say my dear Utahime, love makes you crazy.”

Utahime rolled her eyes and stood up. “If I stay one more minute I might throw up.” She took her bag and turned to look at Shoko. “I will call you later.” She kissed her lips.

“Okay.” She waved goodbye at her. The three friends watched as Utahime exited the place. “So what? Now the three of us are with partners?”

“I mean…” Satoru scratched his head. “I haven't officially asked birdie out, but we've kissed and confessed.” He smiled.

“For real?” Suguru asked to which Satoru nodded. “That’s good man, now I can finally rest and stop listening to you saying how much you like her, you can tell her all of it.”

“You need to ask her official or else she might get wrong ideas.” Satoru nodded. “You are my friend but you know the rumors that go around about you…”

“And you both know they are not true.”

“Yeah but she might think they are not if you take too long to ask her out.”

“We are going on a date soon, I have everything planned.” Satoru stretched out in his chair with a wide smile.

Suguru put his tea cup on the table and looked at him strangely. “You don't have the charity gala soon?”

Satoru shrugged in his seat remembering the quote. “Yes… but I wasn't planning to go.” Shoko and Suguru looked at each other and then at his friend. “Don't look at me like that, what else can they do to me? The truth is I don't care, I prefer to spend my free time with her, not in a place where they hate me.”

“Satoru…” Suguru whispered.

“Are you going with Utahime?” He changed the direction of the conversation to Shoko.

“I would like to but Utahime hasn't told her parents about us yet and it would be quite scandalous if we both showed up.”

“I understand…” The white hair whispered, looking down.

The idea of taking you to the charity party had crossed his mind, but when he remembered how cruel his parents or simply anyone else who might be present could be, he discarded the idea. Satoru didn't want to expose you to those cruel people, who would probably look at you as if they were on a pedestal. When the reality was, they didn't reach the soles of your shoes and not even in a hundred lifetimes could they do so.

He wanted to protect you from his world as much as he could. Although he knew that eventually you should meet it, because his intention was for what you were forming not to be temporary. No. Satoru wanted to treasure you, he wanted to know you more deeply and get to know every little gesture, every little quirk, everything about you, the good and the bad. He didn't want it to last a few months, he wanted it to be long-lasting. But he knew that if you knew his world, where he came from and especially his parents, you would probably distance yourself from him and that caused his heart to shake with anguish and fear.

“Satoru…” He looked back up, facing his best friend. “Have you told her?” Satoru swallowed hard when he realized what Suguru meant. “You have to tell him or it will be worse.”

Shoko looked at both of them confused. "What are you all talking about?"

Suguru sighed when he saw that Satoru didn't say anything. “Satoru asked Haibara for a day off for her, without her knowing.” Satoru shifted in his seat. “He actually told Haibara that he would let him play the next game as a starter if he did.”

“Suguru shut up.” Satoru muttered, knowing that what he had done was wrong.

"You did that?" Shoko exclaimed, stunned. “Satoru, you can't go and do that, it's her job and she should be the one to ask for days off if she wants it.”

“Ugh!” Satoru scratched his head. “I already know that I fuck it, alright? At that moment I thought it would be good. But I will talk to her.”

He would, that night when he came to pick you up from work, you would talk to him. But the cloud of uncertainty hovered over his head thinking about the possibility that you would find out before he told you. Haibara had promised him that he wouldn't do it, but knowing Haibara he would probably confess to you if you suspected anything.

Your POV

As you entered the store, a smile remained on your lips, a constant companion throughout the day. It felt strange, this new buoyancy, especially considering it was all because of a certain boy with white hair and blue eyes. Yet despite the strangeness of it all, you couldn't deny the warmth that filled you every time you thought of him. You liked him more than you wanted to admit, and that excited you.

Putting those thoughts aside, you walked around the store and caught a glimpse of Haibara serving a customer with her usual calm attitude. Without disturbing him, you headed directly to the private room reserved for employees.

Closing the door behind you, you let out a sigh of relief, the tension in your shoulders dissipating as you sank into a chair. Alone in the quiet room, you let yourself a moment to reflect on the whirlwind of emotions. And a smile appeared on your face again just thinking about him.

“You seem happy today?” Haibara entered the room.

“Oh Haibara!” You said, a bit embarrassed. “Yeah kinda.” You chuckled trying to wash the embarrassment off you.

“Did you have fun on Saturday?” Haibara asked you while preparing himself to leave.

“Yeah.” You smiled. “But you didn’t go, why?” You tilted your head.

“I need to take care of some things here.” He looked away from you which was rare.

You looked at him confused. “I thought you told me we weren’t going to be open during the whole day?”

“Oh… did I?” He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding once again your gaze.

“Haibara… are you hiding something from me?” You asked him.

“No…” He grimaced. He was clearly lying.

“Haibara, tell me the truth. I won’t get mad.”

He sighed in defeat. “Captain Gojo asked me to give you the day off.”

As Haibara's words sunk in, a mix of frustration and disappointment washed over you. Realizing that Satoru had intervened without consulting you left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Thank you… for telling me Haibara.” You whispered, still trying to process his words.

“I’m sorry.” Haibara murmured.

You shook your head with a smile. “Don’t worry Haibara. But next time please, talk with me first.”

As Haibara nodded and left to attend to her duties, you found yourself alone behind the register, the weight of the day's events falling heavily on you. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of Satoru and his unexpected actions.

A peculiar need to cry overcame you and took you by surprise.

You didn't know how to feel about what Satoru had done for you. You felt like he had crossed a line by interfering in something as personal as your work. Nothing had happened, because it was Haibara and he was Satoru's friend, but for something like that you could have lost the only financial support you had.

With a shaky breath, you wiped away a stray tear. You didn't want to rush and get angry for no reason, but knowing your character that night when you saw Satoru, you didn't think you would be calm. And you needed to be, because you didn't want to ruin what you had started for something that you could talk about and solve.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

When you left the store and saw Satoru waiting for you, an avalanche of mixed emotions washed over you. Despite the pang of pain and anguish in your chest, seeing him there ignited a flash of warmth within you, a reminder of the depth of your feelings for him.

But beneath the surface, pain and betrayal simmered, threatening to boil over at any moment. The thought of him making decisions about your life without consulting you left a bitter taste in your mouth, a feeling of autonomy and agency that disappeared in an instant.

Taking a deep breath to calm your emotions, you approached Satoru, feeling the cold night air biting your cheeks. The temperature seemed to reflect the cold that had settled in your heart that night. A stark contrast to your feelings towards him, which were still as warm as they were that morning, when you kissed him.

With a heavy heart and a tightness in your chest, you force yourself to maintain a semblance of composure, knowing that lashing out in anger would only make things worse. But beneath the surface, a storm raged within you.

“Satoru.” Your voice came cold and you knew he noticed it.

“Birdie? You okay babe?” Feeling a mix of emotions stirring within you, you closed your eyes for a moment, allowing the weight of Satoru's new pet name to wash over you completely.

With your heart beating on your ears, you opened your eyes again and you looked into his eyes, seeing the anguish that had been established in his eyes. “Haibara told me…” You finally whispered, you watched as something in her eyes changed.

“Birdie, I…”

“Why did you do that?” You whispered with a sharply tone, you didn't want to get angry, but at that moment you felt like you were a volcano about to erupt.

Satoru looked at you in the eyes, slowly opening his mouth. “I thought it was a good idea…”

You huffed feeling like you were about to cry. “It’s not. You can not go to someone else's job and tell their boss to give them a free day…”

“But Haibara…”

“I don’t care, Gojo!” You didn’t want to shout, you didn’t want to say anything or else a lot of bad things could come out of your mouth.

“Birdie listen… you deserve to go to university parties and enjoy yourself, you have never gone to one.” You felt like crying and screaming.

“I already told you, didn’t I?” You crossed your arms in front of yourself. “Not everyone has parents that pay for their apartment, their car, their career. Some of us work our asses off.” You filled your lungs with fresh air and continued. “Haibara, it's your friend and maybe everything is fine, but this is crossing a lot of lines. I don’t care if you did this with the best of your intentions but…” You bite your lip. “I… it’s best if we talk about this in some other moment.” You whispered, giving a glance at him. “I don’t want to keep saying things I might regret.”

“I’m so sorry…” He whispered.

You turned around. “Bye Satoru…”

“Birdie…” But you didn’t look at him but he held your wrist. “Let me take you home, it’s late.”

You stopped walking and turned to him, accepting his invitation. It was late and you wanted to get home as soon as possible.

The car ride was shrouded in silence, not a single word escaping Satoru's lips. You found yourself unable to meet his eyes, a departure from your usual subtle glances in his direction. Instead, your eyes were fixed on the twinkling lights of the city, each of which seemed to radiate its own brilliance.

Despite the external focus, your mind was consumed with thoughts about recent events. A bitter taste lingered in your mouth and a persistent feeling of discomfort gnawed at your consciousness. A part of you questioned if your reaction was over the top, but deep down you knew it wasn't. Satoru had crossed a line and you couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal.

You couldn't help but wonder if Satoru would have acted the same if the situation involved someone else. The idea made you uneasy. It wasn't the thought of talking to Haibara that bothered you; it was the fact that Satoru had orchestrated it behind your back, as if he had the right to make decisions on your behalf.

As the car gradually slowed to a stop in front of Kyoko's house, you released your seatbelt and reached for the door handle, ready to exit.

“Birdie…” He whispered before you could get out of the car.

“I need to relax and think about it.” You said with the same tone. “

“I understand.” He said with tone that was full of sadness.

“We… we will talk about it, okay?” You glanced at him, he was looking down not facing you.

“Sure… no problem.” He looked up and your eyes connected, you could see the sadness in his eyes.

With a heavy heart you step outside. “I will call you.” He slowly nodded. “Thank you for taking me home.”

You opened the door to your house and shuffled to your room, your head hurt, your body hurt, your chest hurt. And you felt like at any moment you would burst into tears.

With your eyes closed, you felt the mattress sink next to you and someone caressed your arm gently. You didn't need anything else to know it was Kyoko.

As Kyoko settled in next to you on the bed, worry etched into her features, you couldn't help but feel the weight of your emotions pressing down on you.

"Are you okay?" Her question only served to untangle the avalanche of emotions that had built up inside you.

With a heavy heart, you shook your head, unable to find the words to express the confusion within you. “No,” you whispered hoarsely, the words barely audible in the silence of the room. "Sometimes I feel like I'm just… I feel like people pity me and that’s why they are with me." You held back your tears. “There is a tiny part of me that thinks that Satoru only sees me as charity work and I feel terrible for thinking about it.” A rebellious tear fell through your cheek. “God I’m horrible…” You whispered.

The confession floated in the air, the truth of those thoughts that had been etched in your mind for a long time, weighed heavily on your chest. But before you could sink further into despair, Kyoko's voice broke the silence, full of sadness.

"Why do you think that?" She whispered, her eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and concern.

But before she could finish his sentence, you interrupted him, tears threatening to spill. “Kyoko… I’m sorry.” You said, your voice shaking.

Her response was immediate, wrapping you in a comforting hug. "People are not with you because they pity you. I’m not with you because of that." She whispered fiercely, her words a balm to your wounded soul. “You are my best friend, my confidant, my soulmate, my other half, my best part, a sister. So don't ever think that the reason we're friends is because you're some kind of charity or because I pity you. Because you are not and you never will be." She took a deep breath. “My parents adore you for who you are, Shoko adores you, hell even Yuki who you were only for a few moments with also adores you. Your coworker, Suguru also and I am sure that Satoru doesn’t view you like that. God damn it, that man is down on his knees for you.” She smiled. “And believe me, my boyfriend is so tired of listening to Satoru speaking about you all day.” You chuckled a little bit. “But now tell me, what happened?”

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you rested your head on Kyoko's legs and let yourself be caressed. "My job is one of the few things I have control of," you whispered, the words heavy with the weight of your frustration and hurt. "And Satoru going to my boss and asking him, without consulting me first, for me to get free days, just hurts me and annoys me."

Kyoko's touch remained tender as she listened to your words. With a soft stroke of your hair, she whispered. "And it's totally valid."

Your voice shook with uncertainty as you raised your gaze to meet Kyoko's eyes, searching for any sign of doubt or disbelief. "Do you think I'm exaggerating things?" Asked.

Kyoko's expression softened, her eyes filled with compassion as she reached out to gently caress your cheek. "No, of course not." She responded firmly, her voice filled with conviction. "Your feelings are valid and it's understandable that you're upset." She stroked your hair a bit more. “But tell me, since when have you been feeling like you are some type of charity work?” She asked you with sadness in her voice.

Your gaze shifted away from Kyoko’s. “I don’t know…” Your voice trailed off as you struggled to find the right words. “I guess it’s always been there.” You took a deep breath. “Especially since my mom died, people always looked at me with such a sad eyes and would whisper things like ‘look it’s the poor girl that was abandoned by her father and whose mother died, be nice to her’.”

You stopped trying to hold on to your emotions that were on fire and wanted to show up any moment.

“I felt that people came to me for that reason, because they felt sorry and they were only interested in being with me because they could go around saying 'look, I'm a friend of the poor orphan', hell I even heard those words on occasion.” You remembered.

Kyoko had her eyes fixed on you and you could see how each of your words was hurting her. “Babe…” She whispered. “You know it’s not like that right?” You didn’t know what to say. “It is not, we are friends with you because how amazing you are. And if I have to remind you every single day that, I will.”

“But I don't know, Kyoko, that someone like Satoru notices me, that likes me.” You sighed, trying to compose yourself, it seemed you were going to let go of many of the things you had been feeling and keeping. “He seems so inaccessible to me and at first when he kept bothering me, I believed it was to annoy me, then I started to believe it was because helping the poor scholarship student made him feel better and that's why he was with me. But when I see how he looked at me I want to hit myself, because I realize that it's the same way that Suguru does it to you and damn, I hate myself for feeling that way and I hate myself even more for having yelled at him and having gotten upset like I did with him.”

Kyoko slightly smiled at you. “I think you don’t just have a crush on Satoru.” You looked at her confused. “You are completely in love with him.”

Finals notes: so… 🙃

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