If your requests are openâŠ
Could you please do a Mob Bucky x Reader where the Reader is pregnant and gives birth to a premie baby and he baby has to stay in the hospital for 4 months. And Bucky wants to comfort the reader but heâs feeling sad too, so he goes a little crazy because he is angry that he canât help the reader. So he leaves and the reader thinks that Bucky left her. You can make up how it ends. But please add angst and fluff. I get it if you donât do it. Thank You!
hi lovely đ thank you so much for sending in this request, i read through it and loved the whole idea from beginning to end. i hope you like what iâve writtenđđ„°
Out of My Control
⥠Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
⥠Summary: You awake in the middle of the night discovering that your water broke, you realize youâre having a babyâ the only issue is that itâs several months early. Your hospital room gets tense as you and Bucky come to terms with the big changes.
⥠Warnings: language, angst, fluff, premature baby birth, all things to do with pregnancy, argument, stress, hints to panic attacks, self hate, signs of depression, me probs writing anything medical wrong
main masterlist
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+
A relaxing day spent together, as the two of you walked through the park, went on a date and cuddled back at home. Things had started perfect and quickly shifted in a shit show.
Neither of you were prepared for the sudden contractions you were feeling. The alarms ringing in your headâ like your body knew but your mind didnât want to accept it. You were having this baby.
The only issue was that the baby was several months early. If the sobbing coming from you, from the pain wasnât enoughâ the idea that you were about to have a premature baby only added into the panic.
Bucky and you talked day and night to your babyâ whispering sweet words. Making promises to a baby that wasnât even born yet. It was all crumbling before your eyes as you were rushed to the hospital, the inside of your thighs drenched from when your water had broke.
Everything happened so fastâ you were soon to be knocked out with heavy meds to help with the pain. While Bucky had to witness it allâ all these nurses and doctors poke and prod at you, keeping you alive of course. But he couldnât keep his fists from unclenchingâ every cry and whimper that escaped your lips made him want to strangle the nurse or doctor that had caused it.
He was a tad overprotective, but you were his everything. His world, his purpose. Seeing you in such pain destroyed him and he felt himself slowly spiraling. He had called several of his men to guard the entire corridor in the hospital, even while the hospital didn't really allow that kinda stuffâ they learned quickly not to mess with Bucky. They didn't want to get involved with the whole mob world and just lowered their heads and agreed to what he wanted in the moment.
Many doctors, nurses, tests and meds laterâ you were finally in stable condition. Giving birth to a premature child had taken a toll on your body, physically and mentally.
You had given birth to a girlâ Rebecca Barnes. Agreeing to name your baby after Buckyâs adoring sister, who you had grown close with over the years.
At last you had Bucky in the room the whole timeâ but you had noticed him getting uncharacteristically quiet. You knew he was most likely worried sick for you, but you couldnât wait for the moment to tell him everything was going to be okay. You just hadnât had a moment to talk with him yet.
You thought youâd have time to speak with him but because your child was so earlyâ she was in critical condition. The doctors and nurses doing all they could to keep your baby alive and healthy.
A couple days pass by and the crowd of nurses and doctors have died down, allowing Bucky to finally sit beside your bed. Rebecca was getting checked by doctors and nurses in another room, there was nothing you two could do but cling onto each other as you waited for the news.
âIâve missed sleeping next to you James.â You called out to him, reaching for his hand and holding it tight.
He hummed in response, his eyes continuing to scan over your face, bodyâ looking for any other injuries.
âJamesâ have you been sleeping?â You questioned after he didnât respond to your previous one.
Looking over him now that he was close enough, you could see his sunken in eyes. The way his eyes were rimmed with rednessâ his skin pale compared to his beautiful tan glow that he had. He looked miserable.
He looked up at your eyes at that question, and for a second you thought he was glaring at you.
âDo you really expect me to get sleep when youâre stuck here in pain?â He responded in a hoarse, gravelly voice.
You softened at his sorrow tone, your heart aching that he was making himself suffer because you were.
âSweetheart, you gotta take care of yourself. I know you donât wanna leave my side butâ Iâm okay now,â You finally reassured him, âEverything is gonna be okay â the worst is done with.â
As he hoped your words would help calm him, it did little to soothe the panic that had been brewing in his chest ever since you cried out in pain at home. You were still stuck hereâ along with his baby. He couldnât do anything but sit on the sidelines and wait until you got betterâ and that drove him fucking insane. He wanted to lick all your wounds, steal all your pain. The fact that he couldnât do it in a snap of his fingers, was making him lose his shit.
âHow is everything okay? Youâre still sitting hereâ and youâre gonna be here for god knows how long!â He rushed out frustratedly.
You rubbing the back of his hand in attempt to calm him, knowing he needed to get his stress outâ but he ripped it from your grasp. You couldnât hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes from the action.
âJames this happens when babies are born earlyâ you know that. Itâs not going to be easy, but Iâll be out of here sooââ
âBullshit!â He hissed, not necessarily at youâ but you could feel the air from his breath.
He hadnât eaten, or drank very much. Hadnât sleptâ overall hadnât been taking care of himself. Adding all of the stress of your safetyâ was the golden reason for why he was acting out. Although you didnât know that fully, and you were starting to feel like his anger was directed at you.
You were emotionally vulnerable right now, with everything that had gone on. You needed his support desperately, not a fight.
âJames just take a breath for me okay? Youâre okayâ weâre okay.â You whispered, your hand itching to hold his. He was too far out of reach now, pacing the hospital room. âI really need you right nowâ I canât have you passing out from exhaustion. I need you healthy!â
âYeah wellâ I need you to be healthy too!â He argued, his chest rising and falling rapidly. âI canât lose you!!â
Lastly he shouted, watching your eyes flicker from the loudness. He immediately relaxed seeing your hurt expressionâ he felt bad that he was stressing you out. He didnât mean toâ he just felt things were way too out of his control. He just wanted you to be okay, and back at home in his arms.
You opened your mouth to say something, watching his eyes shift into a faraway look. But before you could say anything, he turned and walked out the doorâ leaving you alone in the hospital room.
You tried to understand his perspective and desperately tried toâ but you were already under so much stress, on your body and mind. The only thing you could do in the moment was cry.
Hugging yourself in attempt to comfort your self, you sobbed quietly. Wishing for Bucky to come back through the door. As the darkness faded into your thoughts, you couldnât help but feel like this was your fault. Bucky was clearly upset with youâ but why?
Was it because you werenât healthy enough to hold a baby properly? Was it because your body just wasnât equipped to carry a baby? It was your bodyâ you shouldâve been better. Shouldâve done more to prevent this.
Your thoughts ran wild, abusing your fragile mind as you curled up in the hospital bed, weeping to no one. The nurse who had been caring for you the whole time came in with a concerned expression, trying to soothe your criesâ as the heart monitor was going erratic with panic.
Meanwhile Bucky kept walking, ignoring the worried glances form his men. It was no secret that his men had grown close to you as well. They were all worried about you and the babyâ hoping you two would walk out of the hospital soon all healed up.
Steve, his closest friend followed after Buckyâ knowing he'd be able to get through his thick skin. Steve's attempts at making Bucky stop were useless, that was until they made it outsideâ and Bucky finally felt like he could breathe. That's when he turned to meet Steve's worried eyes boring into his.
"What's going man? Is (Y/n) okay?" Steve asked hesitantly.
He'd check on you himselfâ but it was direct orders from Bucky that they guard the corridor and nothing else. He had to respect that.
Bucky took another deep breath, letting the cool air fill his lungsâ the breeze drying the layer of sweat that lightly coated his skin. The stress and anxiety building upâ festering inside of him.
"Yeah... she's going to make a full recovery I think." Bucky breathed out, but his expression was still pained.
"That's great newsâ what's got you so worked up then?" Steve pried, and if it were anyone elseâ Bucky would be slapping them.
Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to take another deep breath of the fresh air before his thoughts consumed him once again. Steve could see his pained expression deepen.
"She's fucking stuck here for months manâ and I can't do shit about it! I feel like I should be doing more Iâ I just don't know what to do. I feel terrible that she's in painâ I just want her to be healthy with our babygirl and coming home!" He rushed out, started to pace the front entranceâ running his hands through his hair.
Steve reached out to stop his pacing, holding his shoulder in a tight grip to snap him back to reality.
"Hey! Buckâ you gotta take a breath and chill outâ everything is gonna be okay. I know you're stressed out, I would be tooâ but you gotta try and calm down." Steve told him, holding his gaze with a stern one.
Bucky didn't mind the roles being switched up at the moment. He needed someone to shake him upâ to get his shit together.
"I just love her so much." Bucky whispered, feeling his throat get tight with emotions.
Steve was shocked to see his pal so vulnerable, but it was understandable. He ignored the shock for now and tried to relax his friend.
"You need to tell her that, not me." Steve chuckled, and wasn't surprised at the glare he received from Bucky. "You're sorta right that there's not much you can doâ but you can be there for her."
Bucky after a long pause nodded, knowing Steve was rightâ which was mind boggling to him.
"Yeah, you're rightâ you're right." Bucky mumbled, taking a few extra deep breaths before turning towards the door.
He stopped himself at the sliding doors and turned around suddenly and walked towards Steve without a wordâ pulling him into a tight hug. One that had Steve's mouth open in shockâ hugs were not their thing.
"Thanks budâ I can't believe I have a babygirl." He whispered excitedly, pulling back with a teary smile and turned awayâ heading into the hospital.
Your tears had stopped minutes ago, and you stayed laying in bedâ staring blankly out the window. Your mind wouldn't slow their attackâ the darkness staining your brain. You wondered if someone could die from the abuse of their own mindâ felt like you were.
Through muffled sound, you heard the door to your room open and closeâ followed by a voice. You were so out of it that it sounded like they were speaking from underwater.
Itâs probably the nurse again⊠trying to get you to say somethingâ anything. You thought mindlessly.
â(Y/n)⊠(Y/n)?â The mumbling continued and you really wanted to look over to see who it was, but found yourself comfortable in the dull state.
A gentle touch to your shoulder had you jumping, glancing slowly over to where the voice was coming from. To your surpriseâ it was Bucky.
âHey baby, you okay? You feeling any pain?â He asked worriedly.
You stared at him like he had four eyes, your own darting around his faceâ almost like you didnât actually believe he was here.
Bucky only grew more concerned the longer you didnât respond, instead you stared at him with fear shining in your eyes.
âBabyâ talk to me. Whatâs wrong? Youâre scaring me.â He begged quietly, holding your hand in between both of his.
You looked down at your connected hands, your chest rising and falling with a big deep breathâ almost like you could finally get a good breath in.
âYouâre here.â You whispered, and if Bucky wasnât as close as he wasâ he wouldnât of heard it.
âIâm here baby, Iâm not going anywhereâ okay?â He asked, needing you to know he was here to stay. He finally got the shot in the arm he needed.
You shook your head, bottom lip quivering and that was the only warning Bucky needed to know you were about to cry. His heart ached at the sight of your now glossy eyesâ peering into his with shame. That he didnât understand.
âFuckâ Iâm sorry James⊠this is all my fault.â You cried, holding onto his hand even tighter.
Bucky shook his head, rubbing the skin of your arm soothingly. Wishing so desperately that he could climb into bed with youâ but he couldnât. At least not for awhile.
He went to assure you, you had nothing to be sorry for but was interrupted by your cries.
âI canât even do the one thing a woman is supposed to do rightâ I fucking failed youâ us! Iâm sorry James Iâ I shouldâve been healtââ
Bucky had enough, he felt sick that you thought this was your fault.
âBaby no, donât you dare think for one second that this is your fault. You didnât ask for this honeyâ there was nothing you couldâve done to prevent this!â He told you sternly, sitting up closer to you now, cupping your face in his hands.
âBut Iââ You tried.
âNo babyâ Iâm not gonna let you think this is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. Honey, you brought a babygirl into this world. You did it.â He pushed, pecking your forehead.
Your tears continued to fall but your cries has quieted down by nowâ Buckyâs words sinking in. You couldnât help but want to smile at the mention of your babygirl. Rebeccaâ oh how you wanted her in your arms.
âIâm sorry I was angry before, but it wasnât at you babyâ I need you to know that.â He started, pushing stray hairs behind your ears. âIâm just frustrated that I canât do anything for you right now. I just want you to be healthy and home with Becca.â
You softened your gaze upon his admission, reaching your hands up to cup his stubbled cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch, his eyes shutting on instinct.
âI love you so fucking much baby, and I just canât stand knowing youâre in pain and that youâll be stuck here for awhile.â He breathed out, his own emotions getting caught in his throat.
âJames⊠you shouldâve just started with that.â You whispered, stroking the skin on his cheek.
âI know, I knowâ I just get all in my head sometimes.â He admitted and you chuckled tiredly.
âOh trust me, I know.â You joked, pulling him into the bed with you.
Bucky was careful, not sure if this was allowed and didnât want to hurt you any further.
â(Y/n)⊠I donât know ifââ
âJust get in the fucking bed.â You spoke out monotonously.
He chuckled and shook his head, holding his hands up in surrender.
âYes maâam.â
You loved that you had this mean, initiating mob boss wrapped around your tiny little finger. But to be fairâ he had you wrapped around his as well. He scooted in next to you, where you leaned backâ laying your head on his chest. Hugging him around his waist, you could feel the heat of his breath fanning your forehead.
âI love you too James. Just donât leave again, okay? I need you here with me.â You mumbled to him, feeling sleepy from all the stress of the day.
He squeezed just a little tighter, rubbing your arms comfortinglyâ before he spoke.
âIâm not going anywhere babydoll, Iâm not going anywhere.â
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