#my brain is telling me it was set up in a way that like. it was a map with different furbies in different parts of it and you could

[thefreakandthehair]

I just wanna see that smile

wc: 1.1k | tags: canon-compliant injury/recovery, hospital setting, getting together, (brief and inferred mutual) pining, first kiss

a/n: happy (belated) birthday to my pal, @firefly-party! kei drew this piece last year and it was one of the first artworks we talked about when we became friends. this series has continued to live in my brain ever since, so I decided to write a little something in the universe!

Eddie woke up on March 26th, 1986 and Steve’s waited patiently for this moment ever since. 

Well, patient is a misnomer— he’d waited quietly to anyone not named Robin or Dustin. Robin, because she knows him too well and there’s no point in trying to hide anything from her and Dustin, because he’d apparently grown up overnight and pieced together that Steve sitting at Eddie’s bedside and holding his fucking hand every time he waltzed into the room meant something. 

Or maybe it was when Steve gave Eddie all of his rings back, sliding them carefully onto his shaking fingers with a comforting smile. 

Or maybe when Eddie sat up unassisted for the first time and Steve nearly hit the ceiling, bracing him in a panic as if all of his stitches and staples would burst with the tiny movement he’d been working toward in physical therapy. 

Hell, maybe it was Steve taking over some of Eddie’s care for himself, washing his hair and braiding it because the staff at Hawkins Memorial are doing nothing more than the bare minimum to make sure they don’t get sued, or even more frightening, reamed out by the new duo of Hopper and Wayne again. Either way, his hair was making Steve’s own scalp itchy. 

Dustin never tells Steve what it was exactly that tipped him off but whatever it was, it’s enough for Dustin to give Steve the floor when Eddie’s getting ready to discharge back home. And that’s how, exactly two months later to the day from Eddie waking up, Steve enters Eddie’s otherwise empty room armed with a special treat in the form of milkshakes to find Eddie pouring over an unfortunately familiar stack of papers. 

“NDA?” Steve asks, nodding at the papers in Eddie’s lap. He’s upright, fully dressed in the black sweatpants Jeff brought by and a cut off Metallica tee shirt, bandages around his stomach and neck. 

Eddie mutters as he reads under his breath, eyes flitting across the page. 

“How the fuck do they expect any of us common folk to understand a fucking word of this? Hereby? Wherein? Hitherto? What fucking year did I wake up in, man?”

“Yeah, I think the whole point is that you don’t read what you’re signing but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Steve huffs a small laugh through his nose as he steps carefully around Eddie’s crutches. “You may as well just sign it because if you don’t, they’ll forge it anyway. Now finish signing your life rights away so you can have this milkshake with me.” 

Eddie perks up, looking away from the mess of papers and smiling up at Steve with a smile so genuine, it punches the air out of his lungs. He keeps looking at him like this, like Steve’s a breath of fresh air, like he's someone Eddie wants to have around. 

Steve isn’t sure what to do with that look yet, but he’s sure glad it’s there. 

“Celebration milkshakes? Is this a freedom gift?” Eddie signs the NDA quickly and sets the pen down on the bed next to him. 

“It sure is. Figured this could make up for all those lame popsicles from the cafeteria.” 

The mattress creaks as Steve sits down on the edge, just to the side of the railing, and hands Eddie the strawberry treat. Their fingers graze, Steve’s chilled and Eddie’s warm. His hand is still a little shaky, trembling as he takes hold of the cup, but they’re warm and warm means alive. 

Eddie’s hand can tremble for the rest of his goddamn life so long as it’s always warm. 

They each take a sip, smooth ice cream slurping up their straws, and after a moment, Eddie sighs.

“Is it weird that I’m actually sort of worried about leaving?” 

Steve’s eyebrows knit together, looking down at Eddie’s rings glinting beneath the offensive fluorescent lights above them.

“What are you worried about?”

“Uh, well, I did almost die. And the town still wishes I did. It’s a lot easier to make those dreams a reality outside of these walls, y’know? And I’m uh…” Steve watches as Eddie takes a breath and Steve suddenly misses the early days when Eddie was connected to the heart rate monitor. 

“You’re…?” Steve presses, sipping his milkshake again to appear casual. 

“I see you all the time here. Guess I just don’t want that to change.” 

Steve’s heart skips a beat, clattering in his chest and pounding at his ribs, desperately trying to crack him right open and run to the man who’s claimed it. Eddie watches him with cautious eyes, opens his mouth to say something else but Steve cuts him off before he can take it back. 

“Why do you think that’d change? Forest Hills is a lot closer than this shithole, and you won’t be kept under lock and key. And as for the first thing, well, Wayne and Nancy have a lot in common and I have a bat loaded up with nails in the trunk of my car.” Steve rests his free hand on Eddie’s knee. “No one's gonna fuck with you. Don’t worry about that.” 

“You sound a little cocky there, Stevie.” Eddie lifts one eyebrow, glancing from Steve’s hand up to his eyes. “Ready to fight for my honor or something?”

“Yep.” 

He hadn’t brought the milkshakes intending to use them as props, but he’s glad he has something to do to fill the space as Eddie watches him with questioning eyes. As he slurps through the straw, grating noise still preferable over the awkward silence, Eddie’s pinched expression turns softer, realization dawning between the stark white walls of the hospital and the pink ice cream in both of their hands. 

“You’re serious.” Eddie says. 

“Took you that long to figure that out?” Steve teases. 

“I’ve been a little busy with learning how to breathe and walk again. Y’know, just little things.” Eddie rolls his eyes with that same fond smile, free hand lacing its fingers through Steve’s. “So what you’re saying is that I’ll see you just as much outside of this prison as I have inside of it?” 

Steve shrugs. “Probably even more, honestly. There are no visiting hours at Wayne’s, and it’s not like I have a job to rush off to these days. You’re stuck with me, Ed. At least for as long as you want me around.” 

Eddie snorts, unceremoniously scoffing in Steve’s face as if in disbelief.

“Don’t make promises like that. What happens when I never want you to leave?” 

The air shifts, growing heavier as they find themselves leaning closer, two satellites orbiting one another by nothing but gravitational pull. 

Steve’s not sure who actually closes the gap, but he finds himself with his lips pressed against Eddie’s— sweet, chilled, a little chapped but smiling against his. Months of waiting, of hoping that he’d get this opportunity, come to a deafening crescendo and it takes all of his discipline to not push. Instead, they pull apart and Steve smiles, tucking loose hair behind Eddie’s ear. 

“That’s easy. I’d just never leave.”

fun fact: kei, I wrote your birthday down in my calendar as the 28th for some reason, a solid ten days late, so know that this was planned from the get-go but was just a tad bit late.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #myblurbs

[bitchiswild]

Pull Of Desire

G!P Kazuha x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: ummmm SMUTTTTT💃🏼💃🏼

A/n: Yalls help me come up with a title my brain is blank🧍‍♀️

Kazuha's life revolved around work, leaving little room for romance. However, she had a bold side when it came to flirting and physical intimacy. She enjoyed the excitement of these encounters, but had never taken anything further than a simple make out and gropping.

Living in the city, Kazuha would often find herself in casual settings, exchanging playful banter and stolen kisses. While she relished the thrill of these moments, her career always came first, preventing her from fully exploring her desires, until she met you.

Kazuha's evening took an electrifying turn when her gaze locked onto you from across the bar. With a confident sway, she made her way over, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leaned in close.

"Mind if I join you?" she purred, her voice like velvet against your ear. You couldn't help but be drawn in by her confidence, nodding eagerly as she settled onto the stool beside you.

As the bartender poured your drinks, Kazuha's fingers brushed against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your veins. She laughed softly at your startled reaction, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.

"Smooth moves," she teased, her gaze smoldering with intensity. "But I'm not that easy to impress."

Undeterred, you leaned in closer, matching her boldness with a playful retort. "Oh, I'm just getting started," you countered, a flicker of challenge in your eyes.

The air crackled with anticipation as the banter between you grew more heated, each exchange fueling the fire of desire. Kazuha's laughter mingled with yours, the sound like a siren's call, drawing you deeper into the spell she was weaving.

Sensing the mounting tension between you, Kazuha suggested a change of scenery. With a coy smile, she took your hand and led you outside into the cool night air.

Once outside, the atmosphere was charged with anticipation, the space between you filled with unspoken desire. Kazuha pressed you against the wall with a gentle yet firm touch, her gaze locked on yours with unwavering intensity.

"Tell me," she breathed, her voice husky with longing, "do you feel it too?" Before you could respond, her lips captured yours in a searing kiss, igniting a blaze of passion that threatened to consume you both.

A surge of anticipation coursed through your veins, heightening every sensation. Her touch was electrifying, sending shivers cascading down your spine as her lips met yours in a hungry kiss.

The world around you seemed to fade into oblivion, leaving only the two of you in a cocoon of desire. Kazuha's kisses were urgent, fueled by a primal need that matched your own. Her lips moved with a delicious rhythm, exploring every contour of your mouth with a fervor that left you breathless.

With a daring hand, Kazuha tangled her fingers in your hair, pulling you closer as if she couldn't get enough. Her body pressed against yours, molding perfectly to your form as the heat between you intensified.

You could feel the rapid beat of her heart echoing your own, the shared urgency of the moment binding you together in a symphony of desire. Each touch, each caress was a testament to the unspoken longing that simmered beneath the surface.

Lost in the whirlwind of sensation, you surrendered yourself completely to the moment, allowing Kazuha to consume you with her passion. Time seemed to stand still as the world spun madly around you, the only constant the intoxicating taste of her lips against yours.

As Kazuha pulled away, both of you were left gasping for air, the heat of the moment still lingering between you like a smoldering ember. With flushed cheeks and eyes ablaze with desire, she met your gaze, her grip on your hair gentle yet firm.

In a voice husky with longing, Kazuha whispered in your ear, her breath hot against your skin, "Wanna go back to my place?" Her words hung in the air, charged with a potent mix of invitation and anticipation.

You felt a surge of excitement pulse through you at the suggestion, your heart pounding with the promise of what lay ahead. The thought of continuing this intoxicating dance with Kazuha, of exploring the depths of passion together, was too enticing to resist.

With a silent nod, you conveyed your consent, your own desire mirrored in the depths of your eyes. Kazuha's lips curved into a knowing smile as she took your hand in hers, leading you away from the dimly lit alley and towards her car.

As Kazuha drove back to her place, the tension between you both was palpable. Each stolen glance spoke volumes, the anticipation building with every passing moment. When you arrived at her apartment building, Kazuha wasted no time, taking your hand and leading you inside.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Kazuha pulled you close, her lips finding yours in a hungry kiss. You stumbled through the doorway, still locked in each other's embrace, the world outside forgotten.

In the dimly lit apartment, clothes were shed with urgency, discarded to the floor as desire consumed you both. Hands roamed eagerly over heated skin as you explored each other with a fervent hunger.

Your hands traced the contours of Kazuha's abs, feeling the tension of her muscles beneath your touch. Her breath hitched as your fingertips danced across her skin, igniting a fire within her that threatened to consume them both. In response, Kazuha's hands found their way to your body, gripping you in all the right places, each touch sending a surge of electricity through your veins.

Just as the intensity between you reached its peak, Kazuha pulled away, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "Wait," she whispered, her eyes searching yours with a mix of desire and vulnerability. "Before we get any further, I have to tell you... I've actually never done this before."

The admission hung in the air, heavy with the weight of its implications. For a moment, the room seemed to spin as you processed her words, the realization sinking in that this moment was as new and unfamiliar to her as it was to you.

But instead of hesitation, a wave of tenderness washed over you, mingling with the desire that still burned bright within you. Gently, you cupped Kazuha's face in your hands, your thumbs brushing away the traces of doubt in her eyes.

"It's okay," you reassured her, your voice a soft murmur against her lips. "We can take things as slow as you need. I'm here with you, every step of the way."

As you leaned in, the weight of Kazuha's vulnerability adding a layer of tenderness to your desire, you felt a surge of determination wash over you. With a gentle yet firm touch, you guided Kazuha onto her back, positioning yourself on top of her, your bodies pressed together in a tangle of limbs and desire.

With trembling hands, you began to undress, each movement deliberate and purposeful as you shed your undergarments, baring yourself completely to Kazuha's hungry gaze. Her eyes followed your every move, dark with desire and anticipation, a hunger burning within them that mirrored your own.

As you settled above her, the heat of her body searing against your skin, you felt the unmistakable evidence of her desire pressing against you, aching for the touch that would set her free. With a silent promise in your eyes, you leaned down to meet her lips in a fervent kiss.

"Are you sure about this?" you whispered against her lips, your voice thick with desire and concern.

Kazuha's response was immediate, her hands pulling you closer as she captured your lips in a hungry kiss. "More sure than I've ever been," she breathed, her voice husky with longing.

With her words echoing in your ears, you continued to explore each other with a fervent hunger, the intensity of your desire building with every touch, every caress. And as Kazuha's member hardened beneath you, throbbing with need, you felt a surge of power and desire coursing through your veins.

You shifted your position, straddling Kazuha's hips as you positioned yourself above her.

The air crackled with anticipation as you hovered over her, your bodies mere inches apart, the heat of your desire palpable in the air. Kazuha's gaze locked onto yours, dark with longing and anticipation, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she awaited your next move.

With a steady hand, you reached between your bodies, guiding Kazuha's member to your entrance. A shiver of anticipation raced down your spine as you felt the head of her member press against you, the heat of her desire sending waves of pleasure coursing through your veins.

With a slow and deliberate movement, you began to lower yourself onto her, the sensation of being filled by Kazuha's hardness sending sparks of ecstasy shooting through your body. As you sank down onto her, inch by agonizing inch, a moan escaped your lips, the pleasure overwhelming in its intensity.

Kazuha's hands found their way to your hips, guiding you with a firm yet gentle touch as you rode her, each movement sending shockwaves of pleasure rippling through your body. The rhythm of your bodies was primal and raw, the sound of your moans mingling with the soft slap of skin on skin filling the room.

Kazuha's voice broke through the haze of ecstasy with a raw, primal declaration. "Fuck," she gasped, her voice husky with desire, "you feel so good."

With each thrust, each movement, you felt her body respond to you in kind, her whimpered words driving you to the edge of sanity with their sheer intensity. She was lost in the throes of pleasure, surrendering herself completely to the intoxicating ecstasy of your shared desire.

As the rhythm of your bodies became more frantic, the tension within you both reached a breaking point, threatening to consume you in a blaze of unbridled passion. Kazuha's grip on you tightened, her nails digging into your skin as she surrendered herself fully to the pleasure coursing through her veins.

As Kazuha's member rubbed against your insides, eliciting a delirious moan from your lips, you felt the need to express just how incredible she felt. "Oh, Kazuha," you gasped out between breaths, "you feel amazing."

Her response was a low, guttural growl of pleasure, her grip on you tightening as she thrust deeper, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable intensity. "You like that, huh?" she murmured, her voice thick with desire.

You could only nod in response, unable to form coherent words as the pleasure threatened to consume you. Kazuha's member was a revelation, each movement sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Fuck," Kazuha groaned, her hips bucking against yours with increasing urgency. "You're so tight, so fucking perfect."

With a primal hunger burning in her eyes, Kazuha's desire reached its peak as she flipped both of you over with a swift yet determined motion. Before you could fully comprehend the change in position, you found yourself beneath her, pinned beneath the weight of her desire.

Her dominance ignited a fire within you, the anticipation of what was to come sending a shiver of excitement coursing through your veins. With a fierce determination, Kazuha positioned herself above you, her gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that left you breathless.

And then, without a word, she began to thrust into you with a raw, unbridled passion that stole your breath away. Each movement was rough yet deliberate, sending shockwaves of pleasure rippling through your body with every powerful thrust.

"Fuck," Kazuha groaned, her voice thick with desire. "You like it rough, huh? You like feeling me pound into you like this?"

You moaned in response, unable to form words as the pleasure washed over you in waves. Kazuha's dirty talk only fueled the fire burning within you, driving you to the brink of ecstasy with every tantalizing word.

With each rough thrust, you felt yourself surrendering to the pleasure of the moment, the rhythm of your bodies becoming a primal dance of desire.

"God you're beautiful, my pretty girl," Kazuha growled, her hands gripping you tighter as she surrendered herself completely to the pleasure coursing through her veins.

And as you surrendered yourself to the sensation of being taken so roughly by Kazuha, you knew that this moment would be etched into your memory forever—a testament to the power of surrendering to the intoxicating pull of desire.

Your stomach fluttered at Kazuha's words, her dirty talk sending a surge of arousal coursing through your veins. With each rough thrust, each tantalizing word, you felt yourself spiraling closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.

"Oh god, Kazuha," you gasped out between ragged breaths, the pleasure overwhelming in its intensity. "Don't stop, please... I'm so close."

Kazuha's response was a primal growl of desire, her movements becoming even more relentless as she drove you both towards the brink of ecstasy. The sensation was almost too much to bear, the pleasure building to an unbearable crescendo that left you trembling with anticipation.

And then, with one final, powerful thrust, you felt yourself teetering on the edge of release. With a guttural moan of pleasure, you surrendered yourself completely to the ecstasy of the moment, your body convulsing with the force of your climax.

As waves of pleasure washed over you, you felt Kazuha follow suit, her movements became even more urgent, each thrust driving her deeper into the depths of ecstasy. With a primal growl of desire, she surrendered herself completely to the pleasure coursing through her veins.

You could feel the tension building within her, the rhythm of her movements becoming erratic as she neared the brink of release. And then, with one final, powerful thrust, she let out a guttural cry of pleasure, her body convulsing with the force of her climax.

As waves of ecstasy washed over her, you felt her release flooding into you, a torrent of warmth and pleasure that sent shockwaves of pleasure rippling through your body. The sensation was overwhelming, the intensity of her climax pushing you over the edge into your own release for the second time.

With a ragged moan of pleasure, you surrendered yourself completely to the ecstasy of the moment, your body shaking with the force of your climax. And as you collapsed together in a tangle of limbs and sweat-drenched skin.

With a gentle touch, you brushed a stray lock of hair from Kazuha's face, your fingers lingering on her skin as you gazed into her eyes. In that moment, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in a cocoon of warmth and intimacy.

"Thank you," Kazuha whispered, her voice soft with emotion. "For everything."

You smiled, a surge of affection swelling within you as you pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "No, thank you," you murmured in response. And as you lay together in the quiet embrace of the night, you knew that this night with Kazuha would be one you'd never forget.

#bitchiswild #BIW.WRITES #lesserafim x reader #lesserafim x fem reader #lesserafim imagines #lesserafim smut #lesserafim kazuha #le sserafim kazuha smut #kazuha nakamura #le sserafim kazuha #nakamura kazuha #kazuha x female reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha smut #kazuha

[killerlookz]

Hello my fellow Criminal Minds fan! 😊

May I please request headcanons for Spencer falling for a female agent who’s cynical about love and relationships due to being hurt in the past?

a/n: thank you sm for the request! i'd be happy to write this for you! :-)

Falling in Love Again | Spencer Reid Headcannons

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader

content: mentions of reader having been cheated on in the past, uhhhh that's really it haha

word count: 1,478 (sorry she's so long)

Spencer Reid had always been excited about falling in love, the thought of being so close to another person- to share so much with someone was such a wonderful thing to him.

Especially after watching his mom and dad growing up, and the way his father treated her-Spencer was dead set on never becoming anything like him, he looked forward to treating a woman right and spending the rest of his life with her.

But, for as excited as he was he was probably 20 times more nervous about the whole falling in love thing.

So when you came around, and he started to experience that warm, creeping feeling in his chest- he felt a little bit like his world was going to end.

Spencer had never made a move on anyone before, sure he did make out with Lila Archer that one time but he didn't exactly initiate it.

Spencer decided just to channel all of his romantic interest in becoming friends with you, at least he got to spend time with you, that's what really mattered to him. Maybe one day it would turn into something more.

Well.. he hoped until he couldn't help but overhear...

"I went on my first date in months last night, and all this guy did was talk about himself the entire time- didn't let me get a word out, I mean, can you believe it?" Emily says, exasperated

You look up at her as she stands in front of your desk, "Oh, trust me Emily, I can believe it." You shake your head

"I mean," She throws her hands up, "What is it with men? What's wrong with them."

"Everything," You smirk, "They're men. I can't remember I had a good experience with one of them- never maybe?" You laugh. "I've given up on dating."

Your words sunk into Spencer's brain, leaving him with a heavy feeling all around he felt awful- not just about the fact that his chances with you seemed to reduce to zero right there in that moment, but because of how upset you seemed under your sarcastic exterior, he could tell you'd really been hurt before.

A few weeks later you're out for drinks with Emily, Penelope, Morgan, Spencer, and JJ. Amidst the loud, drunken conversations and music at the bar- you can hear the faint chiming sounds of your ring tone, Who would be calling this late?

As you take your phone from your pocket, your stomach drops when you see the number flashing on the screen. The mere sight of those 10 digits making you want to throw your phone to the ground and stomp on it until nothing remains.

"Ooooh, who's that calling." Morgan smirks

You look him dead in the eyes and respond flatly, "My ex."

Morgan's smile doesn't fade instead his smirk seems to deepen, "You two got a little thang goin on?"

"No," You shove your phone back in your pocket, "More like he's trying to get back in my pants after cheating on me- twice."

"Ooh!" Morgan responds, wincing, "So he's a dog."

"A pig is more like it." You scoff, "Who does he think he is. I can't even imagine giving my time to another man again, and even if I could- what makes him so confident I'd give him the time of day."

That familiar heavy pain hits Spencer again.

He's staring at you, and it's like the rest of the bar doesn't even exist. Only you, as you bite your lip, trying to hide any emotion in your face.

Spencer has become good at reading your emotions, maybe it's because he spends so much time with you- maybe it's because of how often he finds himself staring at your face. As much as you try to seem nonchalant, he could tell how upset you are.

Spencer would spend more time than he wanted to admit fantasizing about treating you well, about giving you the love you never seemed to have.

Every time you made a snarky comment about love, or how men had treated you in the past Spencer would want so desperately bad to just tell you about how well he would treat you, how he would never ever hurt you, how he would spend his entire life taking care of you.

The words were practically scratching up his throat, begging to be let out. But still, he would just swallow them down, and give you a sympathetic look, he couldn't muster up being able to do anything more.

At the very least, Spencer's plan of becoming friends with you was working.

The two of you would become very good friends.

Spencer would learn everything he could about you, he would want to know as much as possible.

Not in a weird creepy way- but in a he just thinks you're so amazing he can't get enough of you sort of way.

Every time you and Spencer hung out he wouldn't be able to ignore that nagging feeling, the thought of putting an arm around you and pulling you close, of holding your hand in his, or placing a delicate kiss on your cheek.

The thoughts would eat away at Spencer, and he would only fall more, and more in love with you.

Still, he would lose more hope every time you divulged information about your prior encounters with love. He couldn't blame you for feeling so cynical it, not after what you'd been through.

Spencer would think about his mom, about all the wives Rossi had been through, about Hotch and Hailey, about you- he would wonder why love had to be so painful for some people. He was sure he would never hurt somebody he loved.

One day you're over Spencer's apartment, watching a rom-com, and you make a snide remark, "Oh, real love isn't like that." You scoff and roll your eyes.

Spencer doesn't know what it is, but something in him makes him respond, "It could be." He says meekly

You look up at him, caught off guard at his disagreement, "Hm?" you hum

Spencer wasn't able to take it any more, he hated hearing your cynical nature. He would need you to know how you deserved the entire world.

"Love- It can be like the movies." He affirms his stance.

"Not in my experience."

"I would give you love like that." Spencer would tremble as he makes his confession, so unsure of what would happen next.

He would be terrified of your reaction, scared he was about to mess everything up, ruin any future the two of you had together, and even worse, lose your friendship.

"W-what do you mean, Spence."

"I mean, you always talk about how you've been hurt before, and it just-" He takes a deep breath in, contemplating what he's going to say next, "I love you, y/n," He looks down at his lap, then back up at you, "I would never hurt you."

Despite the obvious passion in Spencer's voice, you were still hesitant about it, but everything inside of you told you to give Spencer a chance.

Spencer would insist on taking things slow, you were his first real relationship and he wouldn't want to rush things, for both his and yours sake. He wouldn't pressure you to put a label on things, or even say you're "dating"- those would come on your own time.

Spencer was determined to make you believe in love again, and he would do everything in his power to make sure you knew without a doubt how he felt about you.

Spencer would often get to work before you to surprise you with coffee and a breakfast sandwich, or a donut on your desk in the mornings.

He would insist on having a date night at least once a week, even if the two of you were on a case, ordering room service or finding a local pizza restaurant way late at night was sufficient, as long as the two of you got to spend time together.

Spencer would be hesitant about PDA or really moving too quickly into being too affectionate, still, he would frequently hold your hand, squeezing it tight when he could tell you were stressed or upset- either by a case or by life in general, he just wanted to give you that extra reassurance that he was there for you.

Spencer would really put the work in, he'd exert more effort than you had ever seen from any past relationship into even the tiniest things.

Spencer wouldn't mind though, anything he could do to reassure you that he loves and cares about you, he would do it.

Every little act of love and gratitude would be worth it to him.

He would savor and cherish every hug, every shared glance, every peck on the forehead, on the cheek, on the lips.

It was all worth it to him, every second of it- all he wanted to do was make you smile, to make you fall in love again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid headcannons #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n

[girlboypersonthingy]

Could you maybe write a Sally Face One Shot, where Sal developed a huge crush on reader. But he thinks she doesn’t feel the same way. So he writes a love letter in which he puts no hope in, but then she actually tells him she does feel the same.

Does that even make any sense?😭

Yes…it makes sense and I’m weeping over this omggggg 😭😭😭 bruh this had me screaming and kicking in bed as I wrote it omfgggggg. Sal is pretty smart so I know this mf would write some pretty, thought out, poetic type shit

Notes: gn!reader, established friendship, friends to lovers trope

TW: none, just so fucking sappy and fluffy

Sal x reader- Sincerely Sally 💌

Dear (Y/N),

I want to start by telling you that you’re an amazing friend. I’m beyond grateful we’ve met. You’ve always made me feel so comfortable, so wanted, so important. No words could ever truly explain my feelings for you or the thoughts behind them, but I’m going to try.

Since we met, I’ve seen nothing but good in you and I think you’ve made me good, too. You make me feel good. You make me a better person. I don’t know who I’d be without you, but I know who I want to be now.

I want to be the one on your arm when we walk into a room.

I want to be the one you wake up to every morning and fall asleep next to every night.

I want to kiss you every time we say ‘good bye’ and every time we say ‘hello’ again.

I want to be the one you point to with a smile and say ‘him’ when talking to others.

I want to be the one to hold you when you cry.

I want to be the one to hug you when you’re excited.

I want to go every where you go.

I want to slow dance with you.

I want to head bang with you.

I want to paint with you.

I want to sing to you.

I want to hold you.

I want you.

I love you.

I’m in love with you.

And I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Sally <3

Sal felt like a total loser while sneaking over to your place, which was just down the street from Todd’s house, and slipping the letter in your mailbox. He felt like he could puke just from writing the letter, there’s no way he could ever say these things to your face. He couldn’t help but hesitate, staring at the mailbox as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. ‘They’re going to hate me. I’m gonna ruin everything. What the hell am I doing?’ Sal thinks to himself, staying frozen in place for a good few minutes as thousands of thoughts race through his mind, shaky hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets.

He jumps a bit when he notices the light in your bedroom flick on through your window. He ducks his head and turns to leave, not wanting to get caught lurking around your house in the middle of the night. As he rushes back home, the panic begins to set in because now he realizes he left it…he left the letter behind. It was done. No turning back. He felt sick to his stomach and like he was already grieving the loss of your friendship.

Sal tip toes back in the house, praying neither Neil nor Todd would catch him sneaking in so late and ask questions. He trudges to his room, shedding his clothes before flopping onto his bed. Sal lays on his side and after taking his prosthetic off, stares at the wall for hours thinking about all the ways this could go wrong, all the ways you could reject him, every excuse and lie he could use later to act like it wasn’t even serious, like it was a dumb joke or something. Finally, after his brain had tortured him enough, he drifts off to sleep just before the sun begins to rise.

~next morning~

‘Holy shit…’ You think as you hold the piece of lined note book paper in your shaky hands. “No way…no way!” A giddy smile grows on your face as you clumsily drop all the other mail you had in your hands, besides Sal’s letter, on the ground and take off running for him. It was early in the morning and you were in pajamas still but nothing could stop you now. His house was not far at all and you were too excited not to immediately run to him and profess your love for him.

You and Sal had been friends almost as long as he has with Larry and Todd. You’ve slowly fallen in love with him just as hard as he has with you- the issue is that you are both dummies and think the other person sees you as a friend and a friend only. You’d find yourself dreaming of Sal, not knowing he was dreaming of you too. You’d absentmindedly doodle his name on piece of paper and blush, he’d find a strand of your hair on his shirt and smile so big under his mask. You two have been pining for so long but both so afraid to wreck the relationship you already have. Eventually, Sal felt like he couldn’t get anything done, couldn’t focus on his studies or the ghosts or even eating throughout the day. His brain was full, flooded even, with thoughts of you. He just had to get it out, he had to say it to you now or he would be haunted by it forever. Unbeknownst to Sal…you felt the exact same way.

Bouncing up to his doorstep with an uncontrollable smile on your face, cheeks aching and turning red, you knock on the door and ball your fists up out of excitement. Finally, Todd answers the door, smiling at you before greeting you. “(Y/N)! What are you doing here so early? We-“ “Sal! I-I’m sorry. I need to talk to Sal.” You interrupt, your crazy smile making Todd chuckle softly just as Neil comes up behind him. “Morning, (Y/N)! Sal isn’t up yet. He’s still-“

You weren’t trying to be rude, you adored Todd and Neil but you were currently completely 100% hyperfixated on the sleeping blue haired poet behind the door at the end of the hall way and you just had to see him immediately. “I-I’m sorry…” You laugh softly as you push past them, sprinting for his door, gripping the knob excitedly before swinging the door open. The sound of the door swinging back against the door frame stirs Sally from his sleep, making him groan and glance over at the doorway. Before he can react to you being in his bedroom, in your pajamas still with bed head and an adorable love sick smile on your face, you’re jumping into his blankets with arms wide open. As you practically belly flop on top of him, he huffs softly then chuckles, groggily blinking at you.

“Uh…morning…” He mumbles just before you place the folded love letter on his chest, giving him a small smirk. His eyes open wider now, his prosthetic eye not in its usual socket. Sal scrambles nervously to sit up more, his breath hitching in his throat. He was so half asleep for a moment there, he had forgotten all about the letter he planted in your mailbox last night. “Oh I uh….yeah uh-uhm-“ Sal can’t seem to move his mouth correctly, can’t focus his brain on the words he wants to say. And he just breaks down even more when he realizes you’re in his bed, still in pajamas with the cutest messiest bed head. He can’t deal with the cuteness and his gnawing anxiety…So you speak up instead.

“I love you too.” You smile sweetly before pulling yourself up closer to his scarred face and rubbing your nose against his. Sal lets out a whiny little hum as he lets his nervous hands very slowly move up to rest on your back, smiling like a sappy dork as he hugs you softly. He’s not sure what exactly he was expecting to happen after giving you that letter but this is most definitely the best case scenario. “Let’s just…fucking kiss already.” You say with a cheeky smile, eyes half lidded as you lean in closer. Sal sucks in a breath before letting his eyes close along with yours, pursing his lips out as his hands move up your arms and to your cheeks. His big palms caress your face so perfectly, his thumbs sliding back and forth over your skin as you lock lips, gently moving your mouths together as soft sighs leave both of you.

As his hands pull your face closer, your hands wander up and down his bare arms, legs tangled up in his blankets along with him now, you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh against his lips. “I’m glad you finally told me…that letter was so beautiful.” You whisper, lips gently ghosting against his now. Sal keeps his eyes closed but smiles brightly. “I wrote 153 of those letters.” He confesses, face burning bright red. “No you didn’t.” You scoff, looking down at him, finding this fact hilarious and also adorable and flattering.

“Oh yes he did!” Todd and Neil are leaning in the open doorway. Oops…you got so excited you didn’t shut the door behind you when you ran in. “Proof!” Neil laughs out loudly as he points to Sal’s trash can in the corner of the room, overflowing with balled up pieces of paper. You laugh as you look over, Neil and Todd laughing along with you. Sal drapes an arm over his face, trying to hold back his flustered smile and embarrassed expression. “Stoopppp.” He complains before you’re standing and playfully glaring at the two boys in the doorway. “That’s enough teasing. Shoo!” You grin at Todd before shutting the door on them and turning back to Sal.

“153, huh? Wow. That’s some dedication, lover boy.” You climb back into his bed, sitting cross legged beside him. “Why didn’t you just tell me in person, Sal? Would’ve been way easier.” You scoot closer to him and run your fingers through his tangled hair. “Uh, I totally disagree. I nearly had a panic attack just putting that letter in your mailbox and then having to walk away from it.” A laugh rings out from you as you toss your head back. “Ha! So, What? You’re afraid to say you love me but not afraid of ghosts or demons or cults?” You taunt him before leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a second. “You’re strange. And I love that about you.” You rest there with him for a moment before a fantastic idea hits you, making you sit up and gasp excitedly.

“Can I read the other ones too?!” Before Sal can answer, you’ve jumped up and ran to the rejected pile of love letters in the corner. “No! (Y/N)! No no nononononono!” Sal jumps up and runs to tackle you, his face blushing so red from his ears and down his neck. You laugh loudly as he wraps his arms around your waist and tries to pull you away from all the other embarrassing things he wrote and considered saying to you. “They’re…in the trash…for a reason!” He laughs and huffs as you you push forward, trying to reach even just one crumpled up piece of paper. “Pleeaaassseeeee?” You plead but your strength leaves you as Sal tickles you and has you cackling on the ground instantly.

And the next 10 minutes are spent wrestling with him on the floor of his bedroom while laughing like drunk idiots and occasionally pressing a kiss to the other’s lips. Eventually, you do get ahold of a few of the discarded love letter drafts and they are either like Shakespeare poetry type shit, or so fucking dorky and corny, full of puns and shit. Larry probably tried to help him with that one lol

#sally face x reader #sally face fanfic #sally face fanfiction #sal sally face #sally face sal #sally x reader #sal x reader #sal fisher #sally fisher #sally face #sal fisher x you #sal fisher x reader #sf sal #sally face fluff #sal fisher x y/n

[theadorableapprentice]

Nightmare

MC x Solomon Warnings: Hurt/Comfort Word Count: 1709

A/N: The song is Nightmare by Set It Off. It's one of my favorite songs and made me think of Solomon awhile back. I'm glad I finally got to write this story. It took a different direction than I thought it would, but I still like how it turned out. I hope you enjoy!

They're coming, creeping from the corner

And all I know is that I don't feel safe

Solomon doesn't talk about his past much. You knew this. Of course you knew this. You’ve tried so many times to get Solomon to tell you stories from his life. He would brush off your requests with some cheeky one-liner and that was that. So, you didn’t get to know the real reason why he’s always on edge. “We’re humans in the Devildom, MC. Why wouldn’t I be?” That’s his response whenever you asked him about it. Nevermind that Solomon managed to beat Diavolo when he was mad and actively going for Solomon’s throat. Nevermind that he walked from the Human World all the way to the underworld and then back. Nevermind that he’s fought a war against the Devildom. 

The only thing that you really know is that Solomon doesn’t feel safe. You’re actually not sure if you’ve ever seen him truly relaxed. Sure he puts up this laid back facade, but you know him better than that. Which is why you’re not entirely shocked by the sight before you upon coming home.

I feel the tapping on my shoulder

I turn around in an alarming state

But am I losing my mind? I really think so

Not a creature in sight

Solomon whips around when he hears the door click, eyes wide with fear. He’s scared of something. You’re not sure what, but he is. 

“Sol… Is everything alright?”

“MC, I-” He cuts himself off and looks over your shoulder and then peers out the window.

But, what you don't know

Is that my breathing gets faster and so does my heartbeat

I wish this was over, I wish that this was a dream

He can feel his heartbeat speeding up. It’s getting hard for him to breathe. This hasn’t happened in awhile. He’s usually good at hiding these things from everyone. But not now, not from you. 

“MC, I don’t-” He closes his eyes and tries to take a deep breath. Anything to get this to stop. For things to go back to normal, where he could pretend everything was okay.

“Sol, look at me. Can you look at me?”

I created a monster, a hell within my head

With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own

Oh, I'm so scared

Solomon opens his eyes and there are tears forming. You’ve never seen him cry before. In fact, any vulnerability is a rare sight. It’s becoming more frequent, but the moments are few and far between.

“Here, now put your hand here,” You say, guiding his hand to your chest. “Take a deep breath with me. In.” You take a deep breath in and watch as Solomon tries to do the same. He shakes his head, unable to get a deep breath in. “That’s okay. Just keep your hand here. Can I try something?”

I created a monster, a beast inside my brain

With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own

My mind impaired

Awake me from my nightmare

Solomon nods, tears falling from his eyes. His voice cracks. “Please.”

You move your hands to his face and gently pull him until your foreheads are touching. Your thumbs lightly stroke his cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. “Okay, I want you to close your eyes and focus on my voice. Can you do that for me?”

Solomon nods and closes his eyes. 

“Okay. I want you to think of the place you feel the safest. Think really hard about it. Do you have a place in mind?”

Solomon nods again, breathing slowing ever so slightly.

“Okay, can you describe it to me?” You ask.

“It’s your bedroom when we sleep together in there,” He responds. This makes your heart swell. The place he feels safest is with you.

“Can you tell me specific details? I want you to make this as real as possible in your mind.”

“The blankets are soft. It’s warm because you’re next to me, but it’s not too hot. The room is dark, except for the moonlight that comes through the window.” Solomon’s breathing is slowly returning to normal as he describes your room to you. 

When he finishes and his breathing returns to normal, you take him into a hug.

“Thank you, MC,” Solomon says, hugging you back. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and you feel tears starting to fall from his eyes.

“I’ll always be here for you Sol. Can you talk to me about what’s going on?”

Wait, something doesn't feel right

No, something seems wrong

And I've been feeling this way

For far too long

“I don’t even know where to start. There’s just so much.”

You slowly rub his back, hoping to comfort him even more. “How about you just tell me one thing. One thing that’s upsetting you.”

“Okay. I don’t feel safe, MC. Something feels wrong but I don’t know what it is. It’s like this feeling that something terrible is going to happen or that something is off.” 

“Solomon, you’ve lived a very long life. And I’m sure you have been through a lot of things that would traumatize most people. That’s going to have some lasting effects on you. Let me try something that works for me. Can you tell me what terrible thing you think is going to happen that has you so upset right now?”

“I’m scared I’m going to lose you again, MC. I’m scared that one day you’re going to go out and you won’t come back.”

Your heart breaks for him when you hear that. “Okay, let’s break this down. Why is that a realistic fear?”

“You’re a human in the Devildom. Most demons want to eat you.”

“Okay, and now, why is that fear unlikely to come true?”

“You’re a very capable magic user. And you have a lot of powerful beings watching over you.”

“I don’t think Diavolo would take very kindly to a demon trying to harm me, do you?”

Solomon lets out a tearful laugh. “No, probably not. Seeing him genuinely angry is a rare sight, but I know that whatever demon tried to hurt you would be in for a real bad time.”

“Okay, see? While there is always a chance I’ll get hurt, it’s very unlikely. I don’t think many demons are stupid enough to face the wrath of some of the most powerful beings in the three realms. Now, is there anything else that’s upsetting you?”

As my vision gets blurred, my skin's getting colder

Appearing young, while I'm growing older

I collapse to the floor and scream

"Can anybody save me from myself?"

“I feel trapped, MC. I stay at this physical age, but I grow older every year. Every so often I have to move around, pretending to be a new person. It’s hard to keep any human friends because they all grow older and I don’t. One day you’re going to grow old too. But I will always stay just like I am. Most people would kill to be immortal, but it just feels like a curse anymore.” More tears fall onto your shoulder.

“I can’t imagine how lonely that would be. But, I want you to remember that you do have friends. The brothers, for one. I mean, remember Asmo and Mammon fighting over what Asmo should get you for your birthday? They care about you. And, while I might not always be around, you still have me for quite awhile. And who knows, maybe I’ll stumble upon some ancient artifact that turns me immortal. With how things seem to work for me, that is a possibility.”

Walking to the ledge, I find myself looking down

Frozen still with fear, now I'm plunging to the ground

If only I knew how to fly

Then I could convince myself this isn't my time to die

Solomon laughs again. “Yeah, it is… But I wouldn’t wish immortality upon you MC. It’s truly not as great as it seems. It’s… It’s hell. You watch everything change around you as everyone you know and love grows old and dies. And then you have to start over somewhere else.”

“I have plenty of loved ones who aren’t going to grow old and die. You, for one.” You give him a comforting squeeze and continue to rub his back.

“Yeah, but what about your human family? What about your human friends? Watching the people you love die isn’t an easy thing.”

“No, but that’s a part of life. And I’m sure staying the same age while they get older is hard, but I have you guys. It wouldn’t all be bad. Getting to stay with you forever wouldn’t be bad.”

“Staying with you forever sounds nice… But I still wouldn’t wish this upon you. I don’t want you to turn into what I have.”

“What, a wonderful person who protects humanity? Someone who would do anything to help the ones he loves? That sounds like a pretty good person to me.”

“You have too high an opinion of me, MC.”

Instead, I'm rocketing faster and faster

I dive-bomb to the floor

And when my body crashes to the pavement

I'm right back where I was before

“No, I think my opinion of you is just right.”

Solomon lets out a shaky breath as a few more tears fall. “Everyone calls me shady, some even call me evil. Your opinion-”

You cut him off. “My opinion matters more than a bunch of demons who don’t actually know you. Have you done shady things? Sure. But don’t forget the ones calling you shady are literal demons. They don’t get an opinion when they’re worse than shady themselves. You’re doing great Sol. Despite what you and everyone else thinks, you’re doing great just how you are.”

I created a monster, a hell within my head

With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own

Oh, I'm so scared

Awake me from my nightmare

Solomon sniffles, pulling his face back up and wiping the rest of his tears. “Thank you, MC. I love you and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You smile at him. “I love you too Solomon.”

#obey me #obey me x reader #obey me solomon #obey me solomon x reader #Nightmare

[maccreadysbaby]

A Hundred Ways to Become a Wayne

batfamily + oc insert

tw: none

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

the one chapter in this whole fic where bentley makes a rational decision

part thirty-nine

❝ UNLOVABLE ❞

TUESDAY — SEPTEMBER 8 — 11:07 AM

BENTLEY WOKE UP SO DISORIENTED AND FUZZY AND CONFUSED THAT HE JUST STARTED CRYING.

There were bright white lights in his face, and he wasn’t in his bed anymore, he was somewhere else. There were people moving around him, but he didn’t pay attention long enough to decide who, only long enough to decide he was terrified and wanted Bruce. What time was it? No idea. What day was it? No idea. Was he at the hospital? Was something really wrong with him?

“Whoa, hey… hey there, chum. You’re okay,” 

Bentley relished in the familiar voice, peeling his heavy, kind of sticky, newly-wet eyes open to glance around the room. It took a solid minute for his brain to catch up to his vision, but when it did, he realized he was in the cave, and Bruce was sitting right next to the bed he was laying in.

He tried to bring his hands up to hide his crying eyes, but paused mid-movement when he realized he was attached to a drip.The movement also seemed to trigger a wave of soreness that washed through his whole body.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay. Just relax. You’re here, with me, in the cave. Everything’s okay,” Bruce spoke in his typical level, gentle tone, one of his hands landing on Bentley’s forehead like it always seemed to. Though, for some reason, he looked… really tired. Worn down. 

Bentley breathed in and out shakily, gathering his bearings, trying to stop crying for no reason for the five millionth time in his short life. (Seriously, he had to be setting a record at this point.) Instead, he relaxed back down onto the bed and let Bruce card his fingers through his hair.

“Where’s… Nico?” Was the first thing he managed to whisper.

Bruce got a strange look on his face, before he replied: “Bentley… you’ve been down here for five days. Nico and Asten went home. It’s Tuesday.”

Bentley blinked a few times. It was Tuesday? He had been… he had been completely out of it for five whole days?

He looked around the empty room warily. “What? What happened?” 

Bruce sighed softly, brushing his opposite hand through his own hair. “Someones been fiddling with your DNA, and it made you pretty sick.”

Oh. Right. Superpowers. Bentley looked down at his own feet under the cottony blanket, exhaling subtly. 

“Bentley,”

He looked back up at Bruce, who had a little smile on his face. 

“I will never, ever, ever get rid of you,” He reassured, sighing lightly. “I promise.”

Bentley looked down at his hands, exhaling shakily before he muttered: “My… my father told me… he never loved me. And, uh, that he never would.”

Bruce stayed silent for a moment.

Bentley breathed in and out. It was now or never, wasn’t it? The hard questions had to be asked so things could be fixed, right? “Will you tell me the truth?”

“Of course, bud. Anything,”

Bentley twiddled his fingers, purposefully keeping his eyes away from Bruce when he whispered: “Why is it so hard for people to love me?”

Bruce’s blue eyes grew grim, and he scooted his chair closer to the bed with a squeak. “Bentley Whittaker, you are not hard to love. In fact, you’re almost impossible not to love.”

Bentley looked away, breathing in to force away the urge to cry. “Then why doesn’t he love me?”

Bruce sighed lightly. “That’s his own choice, his own problem. It has nothing to do with you. You are an incredible, brave, amazing kid, Bentley, and I loved you the very first day Dick brought you to me.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Hey,” Bruce continued, his hand moving through Bentley’s hair again, and the child finally looked over at him with slightly glassy eyes. “You could set the whole world on fire and I’d still tell everybody you’re mine.”

Bentley looked down at his feet, blinking rapidly as his eyes began to burn. Did that mean that maybe Bruce wouldn’t hate him for all the things he did? And he wouldn’t get rid of him? And he could stay and keep living with them even though he was an emotional, irrational trainwreck of a child?

Bentley sniffled. “I’m…” Cold? Lonely? Tired of lying? “Can you hold me?”

In one smooth movement, minding the IV tubes, Bentley was with Bruce in the chair.

A few moments of silence passed.

“I wish you were my father,”

A few beats came and went, and Bruce kissed Bentley’s hair.

“I am,”

Oh, God — there it was. The one statement that utterly broke Bentley. That changed something inside of him just like his real father’s statement had. Something cracked. Something moved. 

And so Bentley did what Bentley had been so determined not to do for literal weeks.

“You promise you won’t hate me?” He muttered into Bruce’s shirt, making himself small there, tucking his knees up. 

“I could never hate you, Bentley,”

Bentley breathed in and out. Once. Twice. Three times. Maybe it really was the right time. Maybe he really should do it — just get it over with. Nico would’ve done it. It was good. It would make everything better, right? Right?

“I wasn’t kidnapped,” Is what he started out with, but then backtracked, because that was not a great place to start. “I mean, no, I was. I was. But, the… uh… the night you guys thought I went missing I actually… uh… I ran away.”

Bruce said nothing, but didn’t make a disapproving sound or expression, either. So Bentley continued.

“I guess… uh… I guess it really started back when… right before school. Or right after, I can’t remember. Something was wrong with Damian. And I tried to talk to him but he got mad…” Bentley cleared his throat. “He told me I wasn’t worthy enough to be a Wayne. That I didn’t belong here and you only had me because you felt bad for me.”

At that, Bruce let out a little sigh.

“I think he was kind of sad, I dunno… I know he didn’t really want to hurt me. I think. But he did anyways,” Bentley shook his head. “And I started looking at everybody, at Dick and Jason and Tim and Damian and Cass and Steph and Duke and… Y’know. They’re all superheroes. Really cool superheroes. And a bunch of them were Robin, and I obviously can’t be Robin, but… I… I had to do something, you know? I wanted to be good enough. So… uh… Asten and Nico and I decided that… uh… we were going to go after the Secret Keeper. Because I could prove that I belonged here if I caught a villain like you guys do.”

“So you left, in pursuit of her?” Bruce inquired gently.

Bentley nodded. “Yeah. Asten found some connections between the missing people and the Areopagus and Dr. Keene, my teacher, and found this cabin in the woods that he owned that a bunch of the victims had stayed in, so we went to check it out. Which… sounds pretty random and dumb, now, I guess…” 

Silence passed.

“Uh… he found all that out by finding all the locations of where the people went missing and… uh… well. We kinda… stole Dr. Keene’s phone to get to the cabin schedules and stuff…” Bentley fiddled with his fingers awkwardly. “I know it was bad… but we wanted to help. So, uh, we met up at Nico’s house and started going to the cabin.”

Bentley exhaled heavily. Telling the truth felt strangely… good.

“We walked for a long time, and stopped by Asten’s house in Crime Alley for him to get something, and that was when Nico told me he was adopted and when I realized he had superpowers. Real ones — he has superspeed. And, well, that didn’t go over so well. He was… is really struggling with it. But, uh, anyways, Asten came back and then the Secret Keeper knocked me out and showed me all kinds of futures. Ones where I die, where I work with my father, where I was Robin… and she told me my choice to go to the cabin would lock me in and out of some. So I chose to keep going.”

Bruce still didn’t respond, keeping the door open for Bentley to continue.

“We broke into the cabin. And, uh, it looked pretty normal… at first. And then we found a trapdoor that led to the basement. Asten told me it was called a morgue,” Bentley shivered at the thought. “We opened up one of the fridges and… it was scary. I had an anxiety attack. Nico threw up in the floor. But Asten was fine, I think, and there was this computer down there that had tons of videos on it. Of our teacher, Dr. Keene, working in these labs, turning normal people into metahumans. The first one he did was his own daughter, Charlie Reins… who became The Secret Keeper. And he mind controls them all.”

Bruce exhaled.

“A bunch of the missing kids were in those videos, like Titus Lancaster and Davis Henderson. And we learned that… that… Dr. Keene was… is working for… my father. Trying to destroy you. That’s why the Secret Keeper has been attacking us. Because of me…” Bentley inhaled sharply. “Anyways, we were down there and we heard someone coming, so… we… hid in some of the fridges. Which wasn’t fun. I don’t remember much from then because I was freaking out. We ran out of the cabin and everyone was scared and Asten got his foot stuck in a bear trap and we were trying to help him and then there was a grenade and we all got knocked out.”

Bentley exhaled, sort of shaky, cringing at himself. Word vomiting wasn’t usually something people liked, but Bruce didn’t seem to mind.

“And I woke up in a warehouse, but I wasn’t actually there because it was just the Secret Keeper. I saw Jason die, and it… was really scary. I… I saw you. And I begged you to bring me home but it wasn’t really you…” Bentley fought back another round of stinging in his eyes and forced himself to get it together. “Then I woke up. Davis Henderson, the waiter that got knocked out at that bar because of me, he was there and he got me out of the machine before they could do mind control, he said.”

Bruce nodded slightly. “I remember hearing about Davis.”

“Yeah. He has to wear these super huge metal gloves now, because he kills anything he touches. His mind control was broken. So he got me out, and then we went to get Nico and Asten. And I got shot. Which was scary. And… he told us about Titus Lancaster, who can teleport, and he was going to have surgery to get new mind control so he didn’t have it then. And Davis told us to find him and that he could teleport us out,” He explained. “So we ran for a while. Lots of people were killed. Davis killed a lot of bad guys that were shooting at us, and… Nico did, too, but he didn’t mean to. He has air powers now that can make you choke.”

Bruce hummed.

“But when we were running out the Secret Keeper showed up. So Davis told us to run and he fought her. I’m not sure what happened but I hope he’s okay. He saved me…” Bentley cleared his throat. “But we found Titus, who was really scared, and he teleported us to the manor. And Asten told us not to tell anyone so I… didn’t. And you know everything that’s happened since I got home. Oh — except… I went to see my father to try and convince him to stop, but he said no. And that if I told anybody anything I knew he’d use a plan b that would destroy all of Gotham. But I don’t know what it is. Oh, and Asten has fire powers. And… I guess that’s everything you didn’t know.”

Bentley sighed and looked up at Bruce, who looked near-emotionless, processing all of the information he’d just had dumped in his lap.

“I… I know those things were bad, and that I should’ve told you, and that I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have done, but please, please, please don’t get rid of me. I’ll be better — I won’t do anything bad again. Please don’t-“

“Bentley,”

The Bentley in question was starting to cry again. “Please don’t get rid of me, Bruce. I promise I’ll be better. I promise. You can get me in trouble and yell at me and lock me up or hit me like my dad used to, but please just don’t get rid of me.” 

“Bentley. Look at me please,”

Begrudgingly, Bentley looked up, his brown, watery eyes meeting Bruce’s icy blue ones. 

“Please don’t get rid of me. I love you,”

Bruce breathed in and out. “Here’s what I have to say, okay? You’re right. Some of those things you did were risky, reckless, dangerous, and wrong, and you were impressively, almost stupidly brave to do them. All because you want to be loved and accepted and validated.”

Bentley looked down, wiping at his furiously leaking eyes with his non-dripped hand. 

“Do you want to know what one of the most defining traits of a Wayne is?” Bruce questioned, glancing down at Bentley with a smile that threw the child for a loop. “Being impressively and stupidly brave, and doing things that are risky, reckless, dangerous, and wrong, all because you want to be loved and accepted and validated.”

Bentley said nothing.

“Every single person in this family, Bentley, has done something like this. Even me. Some of us more than once. And while I can’t say I’m thrilled about what you did or what you went through… You survived, you told me the truth, and you were trying to do the right thing. And, I’d have to say, all things considered, I’m pretty proud of that,” Bruce stated with a smile. “I am proud of you, Bentley. And I love you. So. Much. You’re pretty much stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

Bentley had never felt more relieved in his entire short life. Bruce loved him, and he wasn’t going to get rid of him, and he wasn’t mad at him… what kind of fever dream was this? How was it going just like Bentley hoped it would?

“Hey, bud, I want to ask you something. And I want you to be totally, completely honest, okay? Your answer needs to be yours and only yours,”

Bentley nodded slightly, still wiping at his eyes. 

Bruce breathed in deep, running a hand over the child’s head with this fond gleam in his eyes that before now, Bentley could have only dreamed of. 

“You’ve been living here for almost a year. Fostering for over half of it,” Bruce exhaled. “I think this is as good of a time as any to ask… how do you feel about being adopted, like Dick, Jason, and Tim?”

Bentley freaking lost his mind. 

(In the arms of his dad?)

—

dedicated to @sassenashsworld 💚

—

tag list! (If you want me to remove or add you, ask in comments!)

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @flyrobinflyy @skylathescholar @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun @xiaonothere @beatyoutothatusernameloser

#batboys #batfamily #batman #oc; bentley #oc; bentley whittaker #oc; asten #oc; asten evans #oc; nico allen #oc; nico #oc; nico rockefeller #mb; a hundred ways to become a wayne #ov; secret keeper #ov; the secret keeper #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #barbara gordon #oracle #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #cassandra cain #orphan #tim drake #red robin #stephanie brown #spoiler #duke thomas #signal #damien wayne

[saras-almanac]

BuckTommyWeekend Day 2: A figure from their past

BuckTommyWeekend Day 2: A figure from their past

Title:  What we have

Fandom:  911 (ABC)

Pairing:  Buck/Tommy

Summary:  Buck had complicated feelings after they run into Abby. Luckily, Tommy is there to comfort him. For the prompt: A figure from their past for @bucktommyweek

Notes: I have a lot of thoughts about Abby and her relationship with Buck (plus just thoughts on her character in general). And this is a part of something much longer I’d written but it was just bits and pieces—the meeting, the aftermath, Tommy talking with Athena or Maddie, this scene—just too much going on and too much to write in a day when my brain was still coming up with the actual idea for this. So this is what I’ve got.  

Tommy hadn’t thought much of this meeting Abby at the time. Apparently she was in town for some meeting or other for one of her stepdaughters and him and Evan had happened to run into her as they were leaving the restaurant they had brunch at.

Evan had gotten a bit quiet but smiled and politely introduced him as “This is Tommy,” before Abby started telling him about her life. It was about three minutes of a quick catch up before Evan and him continued on their way out and honestly, Tommy hadn’t thought it was strange.

But now It’s been over a week since he’d last seen Evan and he was trying not to worry or get caught up in his own head about what this all might mean. He was off today, so maybe Tommy could convince him to meet up for lunch or at least just talk later today.

Thankfully the doorbell rang at that moment, pulling Tommy out of his potential spiral.

He opened the door and there stood Evan, holding two coffees and a bag of food.

“I brought coffee and burritos,” Evan said.

Tommy ushered him in and followed him to the kitchen. “It’s been a minute. But I’m happy to see you.”

“Me too.” Evan set everything on the counter, dropping his duffel on the floor, and then turned to him, basically wrapping himself around Tommy.

“Is everything all right?”” Tommy asked.

“Yes,” Evan said. “I mean, it’s getting there?”

“Would you want to tell me about what you’re thinking about?” Tommy asked, pulling away and gently pushing Evan toward the stool by his counter. “While you eat a little something.”

Evan sat down but made no move toward his food. He sighed. “I told you about Abby. My ex. The one we ran into a couple weeks ago.”

Tommy nodded. “Yeah. I mean, a little.”

“Right, well seeing her sort of threw me off—Not because I’m dating you or freaking out about my bisexuality and stuff,” Evan rushed to reassure him. “It just… I guess it just brought a lot of old feelings, things that trigged some old insecurities. And I wasn’t expecting it. I mean, it’s been years and looking back, it’s not even like we were really together together so I don’t know really what happened.”

“Feelings can be surprising,” Tommy said. “They come back around in the strangest ways sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Evan said. “But I don’t even think about her anymore. I don’t. I’m not like in love with her or want her back or anything--I swear.”

“I didn’t think you did, but thank you for the reassurance,” Tommy said. “Seeing people who used to play a big part in our lives brings up a lot of emotions. And that’s okay.”  

“That’s what Dr. Copeland said too,” Evan said shaking his head. “I called her because it just triggered a lot of feelings, feelings of insecurity that I thought I’d dealt with. But when you come face-to-face with your biggest failure those feelings can come back.”

“You and Abby not working out is not a failure,” Tommy said.

“I know that. Now,” Evan said. “But it’s what happened when I saw her again. It was my first relationship where I did everything right. I followed everyone’s advice, everyone’s ideas, followed Abby’s lead. I did everything I was supposed to. And she left anyway. Which, I don’t have to tell you made me panic and worry about you, about us.”

“Well, I’d argue that we haven’t’ done anything right in the way that other people would have it or do it,” Tommy said, nudging Evan with his shoulder. “But I also can’t’ say that we’ve done nothing right because a look where we are, what we have.”

“That’s what I realized,” Evan admitted. “At least part of it.”

“What’s the other part?” Tommy asked.

“So it’s like this,” Evan said, amping up and already starting to gesture with his hands. “I think I thought so highly of Abby for so long, right? She was this woman who was mature and knew what she wanted and had a whole life and still wanted me; it’s like she made me better or at least want to be a better man. And after she left, I was terrified that she’d taken that part of me with her, the mature Buck, the guy who was dependable and worthy.”

Tommy clenched his jaw because he hated hearing Evan talk about himself in terms of worthiness or usefulness. Granted, it was a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, but Tommy usually operated under a “do as I say, not as I do” policy.

“And seeing her again, seeing her with you just put so much into perspective for me,” Evan said. “I always thought of her as my first real relationship, but seeing her next to you, knowing what we have, how you treat me, it finally dawned on me that we didn’t have a relationship. Or we did, but like not the one I wanted, the one I thought we had.”

Tommy gently moved the coffees out of the way. “And what was that?”

“I thought we had this amazing relationship where we could be ourselves, someone I could share myself with and someone who wanted that too,” Evan said. “But I think I was just a physical presence for her during a hard time in her life. Someone who was there, who helped shoulder some of the weight, and then someone she just left behind because I didn’t matter to her. Not like I wanted to.”

Evan sighed. “And then I just saw her standing next to you and couldn’t help but think about all the things you know about me, the things you like about me, and I realized that she never really knew me at all.”

“It doesn’t sound like she did,” Tommy said gently, carefully. “Because if she had, I doubt she’d have been able to leave.”

“See and that,” Evan said, reaching over to grab Tommy’s hand. “You’d never do that to me. To anyone really. You’d never just take off, knowing you were done with me, without telling me. Yeah, it would crush me to lose you, but you’d still at least tell me. You wouldn’t leave me hanging on, waiting for any words of our future when you had no plans to come back.”

Evan squeezed his hand between both of his. “I just, I love you so much and I feel so lucky to have you in my life that sometimes I panic that I’m not quite good enough for you. And I want to be.”

Tommy reached out, cradling Evan’s cheek in his hand. “You are good enough. You’re more than good enough for me.”

“Even when I’m having a crisis and stupidly keep myself from you for 12 days?” Evan asked.

“Even then,” Tommy assured him, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead.

#i love supportive emotionally mature conversations so that's what we have here #might expand on this more in the future which is likely a thing i'm going to say for each of these since i'm writing them all this weekend #bucktommy #bucktommyweekend #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 fic #my fic

[mosspapi]

To this day I am Plagued by this one fucking furby website I saw when I was like. 5. I saw it on my parents PC in the basement in like 2008 or some shit and it had like... one minigame or activity or smth on it and a decently large collection of images of furbies, and it was absolutely captivating to my tiny little brain. I vividly remember there was one picture of a Santa furby pulling a sleigh team of 8 reindeer furbies across someone's basement floor. I printed that fucker out I thought it was so cool. I never found the website again after that first visit and have yet to find any archives of a similar site or even just similar images. I want to say it had a light blue background and maybe like a map or something on it but idk. I don't remember what the game/activity was either. All I remember was the site existing and scrolling thru at least a couple dozen images and that one specific Santa furby picture . It haunts me. Where did they go. Does anyone still have them. What fucking site even was it. Bcuz I don't think it was the official site.

EDITING TO ADD! The exact site was found/shared by furby-junkie :D

#my brain is telling me it was set up in a way that like. it was a map with different furbies in different parts of it and you could #click on the different furbies to see different parts of the site. #but idk what any of the different parts were or if that's even how it actually was set up #if anyone knows even remotely what I might b talking abt PLEASE lmk #I want to find them so bad but research is not my forte and nothing has turned up when I've looked #it haunts me bro where the fuck did it GO #armchair speaks #armchair furbyposting #furblr #furby fandom #furby #it feels sacrilegious to edit a post after it's gotten notes but I don't want ppl to think it's still missing lmao

[zerodaryls]

i often find myself questioning reality and i'm thinking that maybe people shouldn't let their 8 year olds watch The Truman Show (1998) because it might actually create lasting psychological damage

#anyone else see The Truman Show as a kid and still catch themselves wondering if the entire world is a Set Up or nah?? 👀 #like i know it's a pretty narcissistic concept to believe the entire world revolves around you lmao but i mean. the paranoia sometimes... #i genuinely 100% blame that movie for this #like i actually think that if i'd never seen that movie then i would just dilly dally on my way through life #never questioning the very fabric of my existence #...i mean realizing that christianity was bullshit might've still ended up doing a number on me #but like. HELL what if watching that movie opened my brain up to be ABLE to consider that my concept of reality (in which YAHWEH is real) #was actually bullshit. and i needed that movie in order to be able to eventually break free from the bullshit. #who knows lmao #but dear god... the other day i was driving #and i noticed that most of the cars would like. ease off the brakes jUST BEFORE the light turned green. like they KNEW. #and logically i'm like. 'that is because they are watching the cross traffic slow down and anticipating their turn.' #but Truman Syndrome Brain was like 'THEY HAVE CUES. THE DIRECTOR IS TELLING THEM TO GET READY TO GO.' #which is dumb bc if i were running a large scale program and had actors driving around i'd just tell them to follow the basic traffic rules #but ya know. the 'Truman Syndrome' or 'Truman Show Delusion' is a legit thing. there's a Wikipedia article on it. lmao #that shit done fucked some of us up :| #unreality #unreality tw #my posts #ramblings #my life is not nearly interesting enough to warrant a tv show #...but then again neither was Truman's. which was the point.

[silvermarmoset]

your tags are SO true like it was one thing to bring tennant back pre-ncuti, since the whole point of that was quite transparently to increase viewership FOR ncuti, but to be like "actually tennant!doctor gets to go have his own life and ncuti is a totally different offshoot" is like ....... well.

i'm screaming a lot in the tags but i'm guessing you meant these ones?

#honestly. horrible horrible flex to set ncuti up across from the most beloved doctor from the start?#like i (and im guessing a lot of other people!) will /always/ be drawn to 10 and feel like he's our doctor#don't set ncuti up like that!! deny us dt and MAKE US LOOK AT HIM. this is so SO weird rtd wtf did you do

because yeah. it actually makes me a bit furious because leaving a spare doctor hanging around and sending Ncuti off as a double is just handing the perfect excuse to every bigot who wants to claim that Ncuti isn't the real doctor, the real doctor is back on earth in Donna Noble's garden. Why do that? Why make it easy for fans who want to drop the show now and pretend it's always the old way, forever?

i can think of reasons for doing it this way—like i'm 95% certain this was just a convoluted way to give Donna her happy ending—but none of the possible reasons i can think of justify going about it like this. I love Ten, and Tennant, I could watch him go on adventures forever, but the point should be I DON'T GET TO because because here's A WHOLE NEW WONDERFUL DOCTOR to go on adventures with! The whole constant point in Who is that change and death DO happen, and one of the joys is grieving the old while embracing the new!

But this episode doing this weird little pivot where you can die but still live, where a separate form of you can rest* so you can go on adventures....idk what moral RTD was aiming for here but it feels like he just shot his own next era in the foot for no particular reason beyond "we love Ten" (and we do but. come on)

*(what does that even mean?? canonically we know the doctor is restless and always running into trouble so what was the point of that?? it's confirmed he's going to mars on fun little trips!! this is the same man and you gave him a tardis and apparently there's no sacrifice at all?? what is this!! why!!)

#the giggle #dw spoilers #part of me is like. it's the epilogue! it's putting a button on the old universe and nuwho. but like— #NCUTI IS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE. it's still his universe! what are we even putting a button on here? are you going to tell me that every time #london gets invaded for the rest of the show (and lets be honest its going to happen within like 2 episodes anyway) we're all going to sit #and not wonder where The Other Doctor With His Own Goddamn Tardis is? why he is not helping here? #also. side note. it is not as egregious as *waves hands* everything else about this #but it felt like a very very big disservice to have ncuti's first moments still be david's #because i'll be honest. when david is onscreen i will watch him first. i will watch him and pay attention to him because he's my favorite! #putting ncuti across from ten (THE fave) is making him do TOO MUCH in his first twenty minutes of screentime #felt like setting him up to fail from the get go because of COURSE i was distracted by david tennant it's david tennant. OF COURSE. #just feel like rtd should have known better. PEOPLE DIE. make 10/14 die!! i will hate it but make me deal with it!! #then make me see 15 and fall fully in love with him #can you imagine if nine had been around during ten's first ep? skinny dt wouldn't have stood a chance. thats why we DO it this way russell #you HAVE TO MAKE US DEAL WITH LOSS. ugh im done fuming but yeah not happy w that #i mean. monkey brain me who loves ten and wants him to live forever was delighted. #the rest of me who has a brain and thought processes thought it was dirt and made 0 sense in any way.

[eggwishing]

little peek at somethjing i am cooking up ...

#this is rlly rough but rn im just blocking everything out #i have like 6.5 pages sketched so far this is already going faster than last time i think..^_^ #im having a blast also #im tryna rewire my brain . every time i think Blehhh i hate drawing i just want to see it done i gotta stop n correct myself #like Hey wait you actually love drawing why are you telling yourself this The process is frustrating sometimes but that comes with art #i had to redraw this one page like 4 separate times and i still didn't feel like giving up #like yeah i was feeling pressed but at the same time i was being patient with myself #like this is part of improving Stop laying on the floor and wondering why you're even doin this you've always loved it #only drawing when u know it's gonna turn out good defeats the whole purpose of learning #also i added cal last minute to this comic and im gladi did he's so creeepy #im very excited to get this done Not impatient like i was before #im impatient for people to see it yeah lol but not w myself #and im not gonna be all like “yeah we'll see how long this lasts lol” bc i think that's already setting myself up for burning out #i have hope that i can keep enjoying art like this I just need to change the way i think #and accept the messy n ugly. the perfect is the enemy of the good #aaron blaise really inspires me. he sincerely loves what he does and i want to be like that #this is also gonna be more comic-like Panelwise i think #scott pilgrim n my bro inspired me #also the way cal's face cuts off on the right makes sense in context he's peekin from behind a chair

[titsthedamnseason]

it’s not funny anymore. i need xander and spencer’s book

#like it’s serious. #how did they become my vacation couple?! #like i’m on vacation imagining what fictional characters would be doing in this scenario AND THEY ARE MY BRAIN’S GO TO?! #i can’t remember the last time i was this invested in a couple before their book even came out #mine #like us series #i guess technically not? but i don’t have anything else to call it rn #and also i can’t remember if i ever brought this up here but it seems obvious that we’re getting easton / vada and im here for it? #like we don’t know super much about either of them but i obviously like easton due to his friendship with xander #and vada is gillow’s child which automatically qualifies her for national treasure status #and i think it was clever of them to pair them off that way #bc otherwise even though easton is well liked he wouldn’t really qualify for a book as just a side character #(not that they didn’t do that for oscar / jack and are obviously angling for a frog / quinn book) #and vada needs someone trustworthy from outside the families #anyway. THEY ARE ALL I THINK ABOUT #YOURE TELLING ME I HAVE TO GET THROUGH ALL THE COBALT BOYS BEFORE THIS?? WHEN THE NLU SET UP WAS THAT PERFECT #like as happy as i am to get ben’s book in my life it just feels wrong that his and xander’s books won’t be back to back idk #🏆 this is for anyone that actually read this deep into the tags you are a warrior

[knowlesian]

the clever way they set up izzy the unreliable narrator is just… such good writing

i started making a complete list of “things other people agree izzy is good at” and “things only izzy says he’s good at” for brain distractions and on that first list is swordfighting

the second list is …everything else, i truly do find this little fucker so fun on a narrative level. he’s the textbook unreliable narrator: literally everything he says ends up directly contradicted by the people in question or the action, but he swaggers around yelling his version of events loudest! (and weirdest, lmfao.)

and honestly on a deeper level it makes us as an audience look at how we process things people tell us vs things people show us, and how those are often very much at odds.

the writing on this show is ridiculously good, you know? 

#jackie’s hilarious “jesus christ this idiot” face is so amazing sidenote #everything about jackie is peak entertainment #also seriously i love how they set this up #its so easy to just listen to izzy and fill in the blanks he tells us to fill in #he’s a loud confident white guy! we love to associate all those traits with logic and truth and power and natural skill #and then you have fang and ivan and ed and jackie like “yeah nah it’s uh. look we all just sort of accept he lives in his own narrative” #ofmd spoilers #the way this show begs for textual analysis is PERFECT #(well confident in these matters l o l @ his general mental health and self concept) #izzy hands go to fucking therapy in s2 challenge #but also pls stay suspended in amber in this weird little state you are in #it pleases me #i want to poke at your various components and ask them: why? #why’d you do it like that why’s it so weird why is con why is anything??? #like. seriously. he is a feast for my weird id and my think-y brain thoughts #A FEAST TRULY A SONUVABITCH A WONDER AN IDIOT A FUCKIN …SCRUFFY LITTLE NIGHTMARE I LOVE GI #…him no i will not retype that insane sentence fuck that i do what i want #anyway he is. so dumb. so fun. so sad. so terrible??? #a true pickle jar denizen if i ever saw one #ATE. HIS. TOE. LOVED. IT. P. CAME. THE. END. #my ofmd meta

[sysig]

I have a request, if you haven't already done it before! How about your favorite of the made up stories from the Vargas parent teacher night sidefic? I like seeing them get along, haha

Day 15 - “Memory”

#My art #Requestober #Vargas #Scriabin #Edgar #You got me on two technicalities anon - I have already drawn one of the stories from Parent-Teacher Night #If you remember all the way back to the second sketchdump the very first picture is their first kiss ♥ Which I love very much! #Other than that one my favourite of the made up stories is actually Scriabin wishing he could set everything on fire lol #Not exactly one they constructed together but since it's impossible with his wings as they are ouq Doubly as they are! #Only in his own memories now ahh 💔 #So picking one that I first of all remembered and then also enjoyed as much - ah that's a bit of a challenge actually lol #I'm still not rereading >:3c You can't trick me that easily! Haha ♪ But that means I pulled around from half-remembered images haha #I feel like I might've combined Christmas and rescuing Edgar from a party I don't remember if those were separate events lol #Ugly dog Christmas sweater?? Fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy brain lol #Pretty sure I had a different mental image when I first read as well but pfpshfsphpshsph it's fine lol #I mostly just wanted to draw them drinking happily together ♥ And I pulled the colours from their matching Christmas sweaters :D #It does make me curious what fake backstory scene resonates with everyone differently hmm ♪ #Oh yeah and the two onlookers like ''Why are they arguing that sounds like a nice time but the tone they're telling it in...'' lol #Expectation vs. Reality haha #Oh I just remembered the proposal! Ahhh!!! #Well next time haha

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#tbd #☉ #lemme start by prefacing this with I KNOW there's no real normal way to be human #ok i get that #but fucking HELL I wish i was normal #i wish my health was normal for my age #i wish i wasn't fucking. neurodivergent #im fine with being queer but ffs why am i in between normal queer and accepted Aroace-ness #why am i abnormal in that regard too #i wish I didn't alienate people i wish i didn't have to explain why im extra quiet and moody and minutes from a meltdown #i wish my hands and feet wouldn't swell up and hurt and burn and I wish i could take a fucking shower without feeling dread #because i had the water temp set to hot and now im dizzy and my heart is racing and im overheating -- alternatively I wish #i didn't feel so self conscious because i DONT shower every day or even every other day like i dont like when my hair goes limp either! #and i use deodorant everyday and wipe off when i can but i have fuckin Let's Sweat Buckets For No Reason Disorder so i always look and feel #like a drowned rat. im tired of being tired but not being able to sleep. im tired of not being able to explain that yes its really not you #its me. me wanting to be alone has nothing to do with you ok its my brain deciding to fuckin shut down because everything is too much rn #& idk how to tell you that im at my wits end but if you treat me with kidd gloves i WILL go off like a fuckin bomb. just treat me NORMAL ffs #just treat me normal 😭 i just want to be normal. i want to be able to sit down and just do my application stuff instead of #staring at a blank document for weeks and then wanting to throw things as the deadline approaches ( #its due friday and i have absolutely nothing written lmao) and idk if its executive dysfunction or anxiety or my tendancey to self sabotage #but either way im so fuckin fucked. im NOT in the headspace rn for writing a graduate school application letter. #trying hard not to cry rn bcs my friend and her parents are sleeping already bcs they have a 9-5 sleeping schedule to fit their 9-5 jobs #like i dont even have a normal sleeping schedule lmao mine's 2-10. i just don't understand why im so broken or whatever. not normal. #& i feel bad for bitching about it all bcs objectively i have a pretty decent life. i have a home i have food i have a family that loves me #im just back to feeling like im too much and also not enough and im so fuckin lonely. im tired of feeling lonely. and i think #ive got a platonic crush or two. or something. and idk how to handle that anymore. if i ever did. #idk idk i feel like im back to looking at the world and passersby through frosted glass again.

[tapucocoafgc]

Had a very good talk with my gf last night that basically boiled down to: you can't care for others until you can care for yourself

And it's so obviously like, I needed to clear brain space to do that anyway, but having another person say it put it really starkly into perspective

#tapu irlposting #I let her look over what I'd been journaling about over the past several weeks #and she was like #“you spend a LOT of time framing what you do and how you feel in the context of other people” #and I was like #“...huh.” #and it really set the ball rolling on me thinking about everything leading up to this #how I've had to people please basically my entire life #and how I've been conditioned to think of how I see myself as purely being how others see me #and I don't think I even know how to exist as myself without that qualifier #and it's very daunting to think about learning #but I clearly need to do *something* just for me #and that's what my writing has been honestly but maybe I need to do more #maybe I need to be a little selfish as a treat #these tags got out of hand lol but tl;dr I have been way too busy making myself emotionally available to others #to be emotionally available for myself #and even now my brain is telling me: nah don't do that you're a shit person who doesn't deserve it #but I gotta tell it to shut up ig