#my classmate started off by saying i was old because i have the habits of a 30 year old and then when i said im only 22

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm not sure how to feel about being told I don't look 22 but more like 14

#random #my classmate started off by saying i was old because i have the habits of a 30 year old and then when i said im only 22 #he said i dont look 22 but 14 and hed id me if i was buying cigs which like youre supposed to id under 25s? #i think i look my age dunno what hes chatting 14 is not a compliment thats an insult 😂 #our morning class was a sht lasted only half an hour out of 4 hours and she spent the whole time asking questions about the content #instead of teaching it then sent us to do the research ourselves so were going shopping if im gonna waste 2 grand in tuition for jack sht #then im gonna do what i want with my time not wastin my time as well as my tuition when i got assignments and groceries to focus on instead

[errrrrror4zero4]

content warnings: 18+ MDNI(minors do NOT interact) , nsfw, smut, sex mentions, sexual coercion, degradation and more. Also it’s my first fanfic and first time writing something…smutty…I had to do lots of research and etc. since I’m not use to a lot of terms and etc. so pls bear with me ;;

In between The Strongest

By 4zero4

A Gojo x oc x Geto fanstory

“Gojoooooooo! Give. It. Back.” I whined looking at Gojo Satoru who was smirking away, mocking me for my stature as he held my journal up high. He knew I wouldn’t be able to reach it, him being 6”3’ in height and me being at least with shoes a good 5”0’ in comparison.

As Gojo began to chuckle as I felt my face turn red in frustration, the journal returned safely in my hands without me having to get it myself. I looked beside me and Gojo, Geto Suguru was there sighing at his best friend's antics. Geto had swiftly retrieved the journal while Gojo let his guard down for a second from being distracted by my whines.

“Satoru, why must you always tease Sa-rang at the most difficult times?” He asked Gojo in an apathetic tone.

“When did you two get so comfy to be on a first name basis?” Gojo remarked while studying Getos facial expressions. I intentionally kept a line drawn between Gojo and I. So only Shoko and Geto were on an informal basis with me. Though I still by habit call Suguru by his family name. The wind blew Geto’s bangs back a bit as he went to sit opposite of us at one of the benches, clearly not going to answer Gojo’s question. Geto was too busy surveying our surroundings with one of his cursed spirits.

Geto leaned his head back and rubbed the temples of his forehead.

“Still nothing.” he let out an exasperated sigh.

We three were sent to an abandoned shrine in a rural part of Japan. Usually Shoko would be here to be my guardian from Gojos games of mockery but she had another mission elsewhere.

Only 4-8 families still lived in this village and the shrine has not been in use since long before the village was founded. The shrine was already there when the villagers settled here in the past. They attempted to reconstruct it but after superstitions and bad incidents that occurred they closed this part of the town off and it’s been untouched since.

Us guys were assigned here because one of the village elders' oldest son wants to get rid of the shrine and rebuild some housing areas to boost income and population in their village again. But they wanted whatever was there to be exorcized and cleansed before rebuilding. In fear of cursing the rest of the village by disturbing its grounds.

“Geez, Suguru you’re such a downer”

Gojo rolled his eyes and scratched his head. Disappointed, his question wasn’t answered but not caring enough at the moment to press further.

“We don’t have to be so serious, I’m sure nothing is even here anyway. Neither of us have picked up on anything since arriving.” Gojo said to us while stretching in boredom.

I sat down at one of the benches as I put my journal in my backpack.

“I hate to say it Geto but Gojo might be right.” Sa-rang said, looking back at them.

“I mean think about it, we’re only here because sensei’s old friend who has a relative here asked for a favor. And we were just slacking for a week since our last mission so he sent us as some type of punishment.” I explained to them as I got back up and started to walk off a little to sight-see.

“Gojo, do you still have your infinity turned on?” I asked looking back at him. He was already slacking next to Geto on the bench.

He rolled his eyes and looked towards me. “Duh.” he said in that taunting tone he uses whenever he pokes fun at me. I rolled my eyes back and walked back up to my fellow classmates.

“Well if YOU almighty Gojo and YOU all-knowing Geto does not sense anything either, then I guess we should do one more quick walk around and go home already.” I retorted to them, mostly aiming the sarcasm in my voice at Gojo. He always knows how to irk the right nerves to piss me off. Gojo is known for his laidback playful charisma but he always chooses to bully me more constantly than others. The only other one I ever see him do it to is Geto, yet I can feel when he aims that energy towards me it’s…just different.

Gojo and Geto exchanged looks then stood up choosing not to josh back at the note of my sarcastic tone towards them, they too wanted to just hurry and go home. We did a quick rewalk of the land of the shrine and determined whatever bad incidents they claimed happened ages ago were merely typical coincidences and old wives tales of the sorts. Yet to ease their minds we each performed a ritual in front of the shrine for the villagers who've been gawking at us and whispering for the past couple hours about us, to witness we did a cleanse to appease their anxieties and prevent them manifesting to something actually cursing them.

Many moments later after many thanks and goodbyes from the villagers we departed from their quaint town and were on a bus back to Tokyo. It was a long bus ride to the airport and a long flight to our destination. As we finally landed and we rode a taxi to our school, Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. Once the car dropped us off at a good distance, I began to speed walk to the building's dorms. Hoping to find Shoko here already before Gojo starts his shenanigans but before I could reach the front entrance Gojo was already in front of me mischievously grinning.

“You’re moving MIGHTY fast for a person with such small legs” he said with his devilishly sweet smile.

“Move Gojo, I have business to handle.” I started firmly moving past him, eyes forward to ignore the stupid grin on his face.

I adored and loathed his smile at the same time. Though Gojo clearly has the untouchable Idol looks and did make many women and men alike swoon, Geto was more known to be popular with the ladies more so than his best friend Gojo. Gojo was known for being adamantly….what’s the word…annoying? No….rude? Closer, yes. He was very ungentlemanly unlike Geto. Plus Gojo may act playful and carefree but he’s also ruthless and obnoxious. He also clearly draws a line from himself and others. No one is ever to get too close to Gojo Satoru. Well except Geto. Speaking of Geto, he was already ahead of us, probably on his way to give Sensei the report on our mission. Though he slacks off and jokes around with Gojo a lot he still follows the book and tries to at least get his job accomplished ethically.

I subconsciously pouted as I stared at Geto walking away. Not noticing Gojo is still beside me observing. “Miyoshi.” he called out to me to break my gaze and put it back towards him.

I turned to him and I could swear for a moment I saw a subtle frown in his lips. I quickly disregarded it thinking I must’ve seen it wrong. “Gojo, if you’re planning on terrorizing me again right now can you postpone it till tomorrow? I’m 100% sure I’ve had my fill of Gojo Satoru today.” I told him as we reached my room in the dormitory. Hoping he would’ve walked away after my comment and went to harass Geto instead. I approached my door and before I could open it Gojo closed it shut with one of his hands towering behind me. I turned and looked up and just as I suspected he had one of his stupid smiles plastered on his slightly pink lips. Before I could ask him what his deal was he leaned down into my ear and whispered “Now I’m 100% sure you haven’t had your fill of Gojo Satoru today, Sa-Ra-Ang” I immediately blushed and ducked below his arm strengthening the distance of our bodies. I glared into his tricksy vivid blue eyes. This was a new taunt coming from him. “Gojo. Why are you being s-so so audacious right now!” I shouted trying my hardest not to stammer and show him his sly perverted comment got to me. But his eyes caught everything like they always do and he could already see how nervous his words made my heart race. He stepped towards me closing the distance between us again, his grin looking more fiendish as he anticipated what other expressions his words could make my face turn into. “Now, now Sa-rang I didn’t say anything wrong though did I? I’m quite sure you can handle more of me today” He said my name so sweetly compared to his way of usually saying it. Before I could respond while being hung up on that he was already pressed against me closer than before. I could feel the heat of his body against mine, he gently lifted my eye patch up and gazed deeply in my eyes. As my eyes widened trying to catch my brain up to what was happening. He leaned lower to my eye level and planted his lips against mine briefly. It was soft and pleasant to my surprise. I looked up at him and frowned, shaking any desires rising from within me. “Gojo, if this is some new way of pranking me it’s not funny.” I said to him as I turned my face away from his. He swiftly grabbed me by my chin and turned my face back towards his. He was slightly frowning as if he was hurt by my conclusion that he would kiss me to hurt me. “Sa-rang, I’ve been madly into you since you transferred here. I know I have a weird way of showing it.. This is my first time. I’m usually so good at everything but when it comes to you I’ve been clueless. I thought if I treated you like I treated Shoko and Suguru you’d pick up on the fact I care deeply about you.” he said to me.

Taken aback by this sudden side of him, all I could do was look up at him in confusion. He sighed and stepped back from me a little, I could feel all his warmth escape from me.

“I had a plan. I did, I was going to approach you better and talk to you. I was going to apologize for all the bullshit I’ve put you through but then all day today I saw how you looked at Suguru. I shrugged it off but the way you pouted at the fact he was already walking ahead of you as if you wanted more time with him today, I couldn’t take it Sa-rang.” He told me with a hint of anguish in his tone.

Gojo Satoru. The man who was always seemingly collected was near falling at the seams over me and I didn’t hate it. In fact I think somewhere inside of me I waited for something like this from him. He always had a wall around him that only Suguru had a way to pass. I never blamed him for it, I was the same. Yet part of me always wanted to get closer to him and bulldoze that wall. I assumed it’d never happened though with the way he acted around me, so I purposely made my wall sturdier around him. I let Suguru and Shoko a few inches closer than him. As to not hurt myself from any expectations. Yet here he was shattering my presumptions of him.

He was clearly jealous of Suguru, though I highly admired Suguru and found him very attractive. I never intended to pursue him as an actual crush or anything. I did not intend to get romantically involved with anyone. I simply respected him and the way he carries himself. After Shoko he was the first to welcome me with open arms to this school when I transferred.

I chuckled in my mind at this, the boy with the six eyes that can see everything. Saw wrong for once.

I moved away from the wall and approached Gojo. I don’t know what came over me but before I was aware I was already on my tippy toes and stealing a kiss from him. I never kissed anyone before so I wasn’t sure I planted it against his lips right as he did mine earlier. I began to step back a bit embarrassed at my actions. As I did so, Gojo grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back towards him back to his famous smile that draws everyone who catches it in. This time however I could sense the sincerity in it.

“Sa-rang, I want you.” he said to me as he pressed his lips firmly back to mine. This time I could feel his tongue enter my mouth, swishing against mine as if looking for something. I struggled to breathe a little. It was as if our mouths were at war and Gojo was definitely winning. He broke his lips away from mine, giving me a chance to catch my breath. I could hear him softly panting and I looked up at his pale ocean blue eyes. Unbeknown to me I was gazing at him with pure lust in my eyes, my body wanting to taste him more as if this was what it was searching for all along. He picked up on it quickly as he lifted me up and carried me quickly into my room.

Next thing I knew we were already on my bed making out again. He was ontop of me kissing me with more intensity than he did before but so was I this time.

“Fuck- Sa-rang I need you now.” Gojo exclaimed under his breath between our kisses. I could already feel something hard press against me. I looked down and then back up to him with curiosity but also with unsureness.

“Gojo I don’t know, I’ve never even kissed before now.” I confessed to him. It was true the most I knew about sex was from the smut books I caught glimpses from adults reading when I hopped from libraries to libraries for shelter after they closed for the night as a kid. I read them to pass time along with plenty of other genres but I’ve never done anything like what happened in the stories. Even though my journal was filled with deep desires that crossed my mind from time to time that were in that category, I was completely inexperienced in this field.

Gojo looked at me while he replied back “We can continue kissing and see where it leads. I want you so bad Sa-rang. I’ve waited so long for this”

I wanted him too and I was already so into the kissing I nodded to his suggestion. Gojo began kissing me all over every so often, going back to passionately locking his lips back to mine. Before long he was already kissing down to my privates, undressing me as he did till I was already in my underwear, I blushed and was shocked at how I was so entranced from his kisses I didn’t notice my clothes gradually disappearing. Gojo was below my pelvis and he looked at me smirking. I knew that smirk, he was about to start teasing me. “You’re already so wet down here I dont even have to remove these panties to tell” he remarked as he pressed his lips to my private area. I let out a quiet moan as I felt his lips through my panties and covered my face in embarrassment. Gojo grabbed my hands with his hand and pinned them above my head preventing me from hiding away. “Don’t hide Sa-rang, I want to see all of it” he said as he began using his other free hand to slip inside my panties, I could feel his fingers inviting themselves into my folds. “Wooow I knew you were wet but this? This is something else Sa-rang” he mocked me as he began playing with my vagina.

“S-satoru!” I started to say in protest to his perverted comments but instead it resulted in me trailing off into a loud moaning whine. Gojo’s face lit up into a sly grin as he then inserted a finger into me. I fought back the urge to moan out. “Now, now go on and moan out my name again with that sweet voice like you just did. Let me hear it again, beautiful” He said to me as his fingers played inside me. I ended up moaning more the faster his fingers moved inside me. He chuckled as my back began to arch while I came to his fingers. I laid back panting from the new feelings emerging from me. Before I could collect myself, Satoru already undressed his shirt revealing his chiseled body. As if the world made him with his existence being considered art in mind. I subconsciously raised my hand against his chest, feeling him up. “Sa-rang you’re so bold~” he exclaimed at my sudden advances. I felt my face turn red and pouted “You! Were freely touching all over me earlier. If anyone is being bold it's you, Satoru!” I retorted back.

He leaned back on top of me joyfully grinning at my reply. “I love it when you call my name” He said as he locked lips with me again, moving his hands back to undress the last of my clothing. He looked up and down at me as I became flushed at revealing so much of myself to him. The underwear was tolerable. I just imagined I was simply in a swimsuit but now I had nothing on at all. Just bare skin and Satoru was gazing at me as if he were a hungry beast preparing for a feast. He let out an exasperated sigh and looked into my eyes as he pulled away from me. His warmth escaped my body yet again. “Sa-rang, I don’t think I can control myself anymore. I’m at my limit now” he said his dick was clearly outlined underneath his trousers as if it was aching to be let out. In a way I was flattered. The Gojo Satoru, one of the Strongest if anything, the strongest out of us all here was completely vulnerable right now. His body practically begging to be inside mine. I was super turned on. I sat up and began to undress his pants and lower his underwear and out came his hidden member. I was taken aback at its size though I had nothing to compare it to. Something inside me told me this was going to be a challenge going inside me. I stroked the tip of it and I could feel it quiver at my touch, enticing me more. I leaned down towards it and before Satoru could say anything in shock I had already placed his dick inside my mouth and began to lick and suck it all over. I don’t know what got into me but I wanted to see Satoru tremble more like how he made me tremble earlier. With that in mind I sucked him more while he let out a soft moan in excitement. “Hmmm How are you so-” he began to say through clenched teeth but I cut him off mid sentence by putting him farther in my mouth, I felt his hand grab the top of my head and push me down. His dick went deeper hitting the back of my mouth as he began moving my head at his own will. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I fought back the feeling of choking and focused on sucking him off more. “Sa-rang I’m about to burst” Satoru moaned out while still fucking the inside of my mouth. I tried to respond but all that could get through was a mumble and he was already cumming in mouth. I felt a thick warm liquid well up inside my throat. Some of it slithered down while the rest stored itself inside the rooms of my cheeks as he exited my mouth. He looked at me pleased with himself yet somewhat guilt reckoned he was about to say something about letting his load in my mouth but I had already swallowed it all. I looked back at him as I licked the remains of his cum from my lips. I could see something awake in him again in his eyes and his dick. I also felt something throb between my legs as I had swallowed his cum. Before I could tell him what I felt he had already had me pinned down to the bed again, panting against my ear. “Sa-rang I’m not holding back anymore” he said in a breathless rasp of pure lust while he held my hands down and used his other to press his dick against my vagina. I could feel it throbbing almost as restless as its owner. I said nothing but a loud moan as he inserted it inside me. “I’m almost in, just gotta a bit more to go” he said as I peered down, this man only inserted the tip and I was already close to coming again. He slid more deeper and moaned along with me. I ended up coming again this time all over his dick instead of his fingers. “Though I love you coming on me already, I’m just getting started baby” He said with a sadistic smile. He began to thrust deep into me. “Damn, youre gripping on me so tight it’s sucking me in” He moaned. “It’s like this pretty hole is starving for me, Sa-rang” He added in between thrusts all I could do was moan out in response. Every thrust I could feel him moving deeper up and down inside me. “Sa-rang, I didn’t know you were such a little slut? Your body is practically begging me to fuck it more” he teased me.

I looked up at him and glared at his mocking. “I-I’m not a s-slut!” I somehow refuted between the moaning escaping my lips. He grinned at my expression, loving every moment of this “Right, you’re not a slut.” he said with a pause in both speech and movement as leaned towards my face locking eyes with me. “You’re my little slut.” he said firmly as he thrusted hard into me. I let out a gasp as he shoved his tongue down my throat while he continued turning out my insides with his dick. And honestly, it felt so good. He unlocked his lips from mine and stopped thrusting once again and whispered into my ear. “C’mon tell me how much my little slut princess wants me to keep shoving my dick in her” he teased and waited for my reply.

“Satoruuuu!” I whined in defiance. But to no avail he didn't move.

“I’m not continuing till you say it, precious” He coaxed as he began to slide his dick out to exit me.

I wanted to respond back in jest but I could feel my lower half aching for him. I wanted to feel him move inside me deeply again.

I looked at him with tears of annoyance and defeat. “Satoru I want your dick shoving inside me.” I said to him waiting for him to slide back into me.

“Ah-ah you gotta repeat it exactly” he teased with a devilish tone.

I pouted but caved in “Satoru…your little s-slutty princess…wants you to keep shoving your dick inside her.” I repeated word for word begging for him to fuck me more.

He immediately pushed hard into me while I gasped for air, I dug my nails into his back. “Good girl.” He whispers into my ear proudly as he starts to thrust in steady paced rhythms. I could see the sweat dribble down his forehead in between his movements causing his long white bangs to swoop and swish around his face, some strands clinging along his pink flushed skin. He drops his head and starts to suckle my neck and chest planting wet and messy kisses on . While increasing the pace of his hips clashing into me. He was enjoying every second of this. As if he was savoring every sound he could jolt from my lips.

“W-wait Satoru that’s too fast” I whimpered out shakily. He lifts his head back but not before tugging at my nipple with his teeth in a grin causing me to yelp out and cling my legs around him. “C’mon you know you love it” he rasped out of his teeth as he lifted me up as he sat up, positioning me on top of him and causing his shaft to hit an even deeper part inside me. Each thrust this time I could feel the tip of his dick kissing my womb as if greeting it. “Here look down at how you’re basically clenching around me, your cunt starving for my cock like the good little slut you are for me” he cooed.

He wasn’t wrong, I was loving the sensation of him slamming into me. It was a mixture of pain and electrical pleasure. However I still had some ounce of boldness left in me and leaned my body forward before his next timed thrust. Using the tides of my actions to push me on top of him now. He looked up at me with peering blue eyes of curiosity. In which I answered in grinding myself on him, his engorged cock twitching inside me with burning eagerness. Satoru found himself squirming his pelvis under me in response to my hips sliding against him, moving as to tease his throbbing dick. I exhaled a breathy moan as I ran my bangs through my bangs to move them away from my burning face. “Shit, You’re so hot baby” Satoru groaned out all while admiring the view of me riding on top of him. He bit down on his lip and I felt his hands move from his sides now gripping the sides of my hips. He slowly started to glide me up and down over his pulsing dick. Though I was initially ravishing the idea of triumphing over the man who so easily turned me into a mess moments ago, I could feel my clit prickle at the feeling of his tight grip on my hips. I couldn’t help but wish he’d ram his long cock deep up into me. Somehow knowing what I desired, Satoru raised his hips up and proceeded to slam up into my slit down on his now squelching dick that was soaked in all my juices. As I bounced on top of him, my breast jumping up and down in front of him, he couldn’t help but grab one of them with his mouth. He swirled his tongue around my erect nipples.

“Whatever happened to that fiery attitude you had a second ago?” He taunted me but all I could do was let out a choked sob of complete ecstasy. Noticing the breathless daze he was putting me into he let a toothy grin spread across his lips. He continued to thrust in and out of me at the same intense quicken pace. I felt the thick veins running along his huge cock rubbing my walls in every vigorous pound. It was as if Satoru was forcing my insides into the shape of his dick. Suddenly I could feel his core clenching. He locked lips with me, groaned into my mouth as I moaned back into his.

“Baby, I’m about to burst inside of you.” He warned me with a growl against my lips. “I want to come deep inside you, Sa-rang.” he mumbled under his raspy breath. I felt my heart race at the thought of his seed gushing into me. He grabbed my face, studying my disheveled appearance. “You can take it all for me. Can't you, precious?” he beckoned to me in a tone that was more instructing than asking. I nodded eagerly, not able to hold back my curiosity due to the daze his dick was putting me into. His aching dick convulsed inside me, letting his thick cum pour into me. I could feel it trying to fill me up completely. I couldn’t help but climax with him. As he embraced me tightly he bit down against my neck sucking a mark on my damp skin. Releasing all of his seed into me as he told me he would. As he broke his body away from mine, pulling his now limp dick out I could feel his cum oozing out of me. Coming back to my senses at the sight of it getting on my sheets, I shouted out to him.

“GOJO SATORU! I can’t believe you just did that!” I exclaimed with a glare pointed at him. “It was bad enough we didn’t use protection but you came so much into me! What if I become pregnant.” I rambled on while still processing everything we just did in my post-tidy room. I knew I agreed with him doing it but I still couldn't believe it. Why’d I agreed so enthusiastically? It wasn’t like me to lose my rationale like that regardless of any pressure I could be in.

Gojo was already up and was coming back with tissues to wipe his seed off of me and my sheets. He was still focusing on everything I was saying but he knew until I gathered myself anything he said in response would just be lost in translation once I got like this. I was soon more collected than before now but I was still slightly concerned. After tossing the used tissues, he sat next to me and pulled me into his arms. In just that one action I felt calmer. I sighed and immediately planned the solution to my worries. I’ll buy a concoction tomorrow to deter the chance of any pregnancy.

I turned my face towards him, he was already gazing down at me with a charming stare in his eyes. “Sa-” I started to call out to him but stopped myself instantly remembering my resolve before our shared intimacy. “Gojo.” I said and I could note a frown in his brow. I pulled out of his embrace, now sitting beside him with some distance. He looked at me and smiled a smile of disappointment and bitterness at the revert of my calling of him. “So it’s now back to just “Gojo” huh?” He asked with pain in his tone.

“Gojo this happened way too fast….I-” I struggled to find the words to explain myself.

“I can’t love anyone right now, Gojo. I don’t have time to let someone close to me again right now.” I stated to him firmly trying to hold back the sting in my throat.

Gojo laughed. It wasn’t a laugh of joy or anything. It was a laugh of contempt towards my statement. It was a laugh at himself for even believing for a second this was going to go anywhere with us. He got up and walked towards my door to leave but stopped before exiting. He turned towards me, his eyes somewhat pained.

“It’s funny. You’re telling me you don’t have it in you to be close to anyone else right now, but I know you mean just me. You don’t want to be close to me. I bet if I was Suguru it’d be a different story……whatever, don’t forget a moment ago it was my name you were moaning out though.” He said coolly with a harsh grin upon his lips. He left my room before I could add anything to his conclusion.

I laid down in my bed, exhausted. Though I was tired from what we did, this tiredness weighing down on me right now was more so emotional. I never hated Gojo. I enjoyed the intimate moment we shared more than my brain was ready to accept. Yet I was plagued with the reminder of what it was like to devote yourself to someone. To care deeply for anyone and then to have them torn away from you. I lost too many of my family dear to me to consider opening my heart to loving anyone again. I saw no point in sharing that with Gojo though while basically rejecting his care in his heart for me. I felt it’d be irrelevant or not understandable to him. Since we both knew Gojo Satoru is the strongest, no one could ever hurt him. He’d state I wouldn’t have to worry over such a thing. No one has ever hurt Gojo until I just did….

{Perspective change}

After Geto Suguru finished his report he went to go find his companions. He first went to find Sa-rang not aware of the spectacle he was about to overhear as he approached her door. He heard sexual noises. He could hear her blissed out gasps and moans leaking from her room. Bewildered at the sound of his friend experiencing pleasure he then felt his pants tighten below his abdomen. Before he could process that he then heard her breathlessly gasping out for Satoru and he swore he could hear his best friend, Gojo Satoru in there panting and whispering to her.

Geto silently rushed back to his own room in the dorms. He entered his room and decided to take a cold shower while he pondered about what he witnessed. How long were Satoru and Sa-rang involved in such an intimate way and how did he not notice sooner. They’ve always spent their days together and never saw anything to hint they were together in that way. Gojo teases everyone and he noticed how he was more obnoxious towards Miyoshi but he thought nothing of it. Meanwhile he was aware Miyoshi drew firm lines between herself and everyone else, an especially thicker line towards Satoru. He assumed she disliked him and who could blame her for the way he always treated her. At most he knew she tolerated Satoru.

He got out of the shower and dried off, then dressed himself. He laid in bed in puzzlement. While he laid there his thoughts went back to the sound of Sa-rang moaning. He couldn’t shake it out of his mind and before he knew it his dick began to press against the fabric of his sweatpants just like before when he was outside her dorm room. He took his dick out, rubbing it from the balls up the shaft to the tip. He imagined her moaning out his name instead and the view of her underneath him taking in his cock loving it more than how she felt with Satoru. Delving deep into his fantasy he continued to pleasure himself till completion. After another shower he went to sleep, blocking everything that happened to deal with tomorrow. Yet in the back of his mind he wanted her.

Lmk if I should continue or scrap this ✨

#gojo smut #satoru gojo smut #jjk geto #jjk smut #geto smut #jjk gojo #18+ mdni #gojo x oc #jjk oc #fanfic #smut fanfiction #smut #first fanfic #jujustu kaisen smut

[tsukishumai]

Love Galore

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x f!reader x bokuto koutsro

chapter summary: an introspective view of the story's events from the beginning — through the eyes of Akaashi Keiji

wc: 19.2k+ [jfc i really am so sorry]

a/n: thank you to those that have stuck by me and this story, despite my hiatus. i truly appreciate every single person that's ever read a single word of LG, or left lovely messages/comments, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. i worked on this chapter, little by little every day, and i promise i never stopped thinking about you guys. i kept thinking it was done, but apparently i had a lot to say haha. this still isn't the end, but please enjoy the chapter, i've worked really hard on it and i hope you like it :) your love and support mean the world to me, xoxo

Masterlist

chapter 14 ✧ souffle pancakes

Akaashi doesn’t say much, but he sees it all. 

It was a habit that he’s had for as long as he could remember, practically born with. Practically second nature, it seems, for him to keep a keen and sharp eye on his surroundings, making mental notes until it’s all piled up and cluttered into his brain. He’s been called many things in his short life. Observant. Perspective. Attentive. Psychic. Genius. Creepy. 

Akaashi prefers to just be called Keiji. 

Most of the time, he thinks it’s a blessing.  

When he was younger, he’d impress all the old ladies in his neighborhood with his mindless comments.

Have you lost weight?

That’s a new jacket isn’t it, oba-san?

Oh, that must be a different perfume you’re wearing today.

Comments that sounded adorable coming from a child, when all the others in his age range could barely notice if they were even wearing matching shoes. 

Sometimes, he’s thankful. It was what got him so far in the sport he loved, after all. His ability to see things others usually just brush to the side — how an opponent grits his teeth and flexes his jaw right before he jumps up for the spike, or the directions their eyes tend to flicker to right before they pass the ball. How the twitch of their lip meant anger and annoyance, or the restless running around the court showing impatience. 

Akaashi sees it all – each bit of information sorted into the compartments in his mind, saving it for when he needs to make his move. This wasn’t something inherent – it was a skill he only learned with time, through trials and errors until his mind became a well-oiled machine. Eventually, it’d become difficult for anyone to escape the sharpness of Akaashi’s eyes, and it’s a skill he’s always used to his own benefit. 

If that player’s angry, it will be easy to bait him. If he’s impatient, then it’s just a matter of time before he makes a mistake. And Akaashi will be right there waiting. 

It was easily applicable outside of the court as well.

In the hallways of school, he’d learned to ignore the giggles and whispers in his wake. Making friends was simple, almost effortless. An off-handed comment about someone’s new haircut, bringing his classmates snacks and drinks as if he had just accidentally bought too much at the convenience store – not a single person thinking twice at the fact that he’d miraculously gotten all their favorites. 

Akaashi was the guy that would notice if you were wearing different nail polish, or if the charms on your backpack were different, would note if you’ve started a new sport or were talking about that new drama just a little bit more often – and he’d say a something that could be compliment, with only a few words at best, but it was enough for you to note that he was paying attention. 

In his second year of junior high, he’d even become quite the hot topic among the girls in his class, because somehow he could always tell who had a crush on who. They’d flock around his desk like vultures, picking at whatever bits and scraps they could get from his carcass until he had no choice but to throw them a bone. 

If you get this bread for Yagi-kun, he’ll really like it. 

Arakawa-san told me he likes girls with short hair. 

Toku-san studies in the library on Wednesdays, you should bring him a drink.

The boys would try to act like they’re not interested in the commotion that always seemed to surround Akaashi. Gossip? That’s for the girls – not something for boys to partake in. But it was only a matter of time before they’d come running to Akaashi for a “psychic reading”, never wanting to admit that all they really wanted was a bit of guidance. 

They’d come running back to him, tittering and snickering whenever his advice would work. Suddenly, he was seen as a genius, a guru – as much as any preteen boy could actually be.

It was easy, really – a person’s body language can often tell you much more than words could ever manage to say, and Akaashi had always been an avid reader. He’d try to tell them as much, try to teach his friends what to look for and where, but alas the ability had still been dubbed a ‘gift’.

But sometimes, it can be a curse. 

For a long while, there were only two kinds of people in Akaashi’s life: those that wanted to use him for his talents, and those that seemed to resent him for it. 

It was actually comical how fast it is for some to turn their backs. Flipping around on him like a switch, taking all the brightness with them and leaving Akaashi alone in the dark. 

He had learned – the hard way – that most people actually quite hated the notion of being perceived. It strikes them with a sense of anxiety that was unfamiliar – not exactly fear, but something akin to uneasiness. The constant feeling of eyes on your back was enough to drive anyone crazy, even more so when you’re meant to be somewhere safe. 

It’s not as if Akaashi was doing it on purpose. Sometimes, he wasn’t even aware he was doing anything at all. He wasn’t watching anyone specifically, but was it his fault if certain things caught his attention? Was it wrong for him to be observant of his surroundings? His classmates were part of his environment, it was only natural for them to be part of his observations as well. It was nothing personal, it was just a habit.

It was difficult to explain as such when a boy from his class called him a stalker for knowing he was in the soccer club, because how else could Akaashi have known? He hardly knew Akaashi. Even though Akaashi pointed out the grass stains on his socks and the pair of cleats peeking out of his bag, the boy still threatened Akaashi to stay far away. 

It was even harder for him to calm the angry girl from two classes over – the one that happened to always eat at the lunch table next to his in the cafeteria. He froze when she stormed up to him, tossing a baby blue hair clip on his table. Steam was billowing out from her eyes, saying she’d only ever spoken a grand total of six words to him, so how the hell does he know her favorite color? Never mind the fact that her earrings, her phone case, her jacket, her thermos, and her bento are all that same color. It was an educated guess, one that was clearly correct if her angry reaction was enough to go by. 

It was frustrating, honestly. Did she even know how pathetic his own classmate looked, sniffing around Akaashi and asking how he should approach the cute girl from class 2-C? Was it really wrong for Akaashi to suggest getting her a hair clip in the same color? What difference did it make whether he figured out random stuff about her or not? 

But the scowl she threw in his direction had almost successfully masked the panic that swept through her eyes. But Akaashi had seen it. 

She was afraid. Of him.

She had called him names then, names he had heard before. Weirdo. Stalker. Creep. Names that never bothered him in the past, but coupled with the look of fright on this girl's face – whose favorite color he knew, but name remained foreign – all of it sounded much harsher than he ever remembered. Especially when she dumped the rest of her milk on the top of his head. 

After that incident, there was a sort of shift in public opinion on Akaashi. The whispers that followed him down the hall no longer mingled with soft giggles and smiles. They were whispers behind narrowed eyes and scowling faces, disapproving frowns upon any lips that would say his name.

Some friends stood by his side, half-heartedly defending him in a way that told him they didn’t actually care – they just wanted to stay on his good side. Nosy busybodies that only shielded him from the wary stares so they could keep asking him for his advice on whether he thought Dairiki-kun like girls with bangs or without.

It was one of the few times Akaashi had really, truly felt pathetic. His life was sitting in the sweaty palms of his peers, and a single wrong move will have him crushed by their grubby little fingers. It was infuriating, suffocating – having to think twice, thrice, four times before Akaashi could even say a single word. 

But they had already decided on the box they would put Akaashi in, and he could do nothing more than sit still. Sit still and ignore the sneers and scowls from people that he used to call friends. Stay quiet when the boys of his class would shove him around the halls calling him freak. Look the other way when he’d come back to his desk and his things were destroyed. Ignore the pang in his chest when he ate his lunches alone in the library. 

At the turn of his adolescence – his first year of high school – Akaashi decided that things needed to change. 

Fukurodani Academy was a different setting – different classes, different halls, different people.

He would be a different Akaashi Keiji. No longer putting himself out there, or offering his observations to anyone who would listen. He would just keep to himself, and not let anyone close enough to contain him again.

Then he met Bokuto Kotaro. 

The boy was simplistic in nature. Kind and bright, with a horde of people that always followed him around wherever he went. Dozens of eyes constantly tracked his every move without fail, and Bokuto happened to be the type of person that thrived in such an environment. Though, despite being interested in the same sport, Akaashi never felt the need to become a part of his entourage. He was exactly the kind of guy Akaashi wanted – needed –  to avoid. 

But some things are simply not up to him. Each morning, he managed to mask the slight surprise on his face each time he walked into the volleyball team’s gym, and found that Bokuto was already there. And had probably been there for who knows how long. When Akaashi joined this team, he fully expected to always be the first to show up, and last to leave the gym each day, just as it was at his previous school. 

Yet, there Bokuto was, every morning without fail, nothing but his grunts and the echoes of the ball spiking on the ground filling the gym. Every morning, he’d greet Akaashi with too much energy, the corners of his lips never dropping despite the fact that Akaashi never responded with anything other than a silent nod. 

For a little while, that was all they had. A silent agreement to work together on the sport they loved, to be a team on the court, and strictly teammates off of it. Nothing more, nothing less. Bokuto continued being his charming self, scoring victories and basking in adoration as he was wont to do. Akaashi stood content to the side, satisfied with the joy of knowing his serves were in the capable hands of such an ace. 

Akaashi should have known that it was only a matter of time until Bokuto would flip everything around. 

They had been alone in the gym for at least an hour at that time, while the rest of Fukurodani Volleyball Club had gone home at an actual reasonable hour. The sun was already slipping past the horizon, taking with it the last tendrils of the day’s light. Bokuto had begged Akaashi to stay a little longer and help with his spikes, as usual. And Akaashi was quick to agree, as usual. 

What was unusual was the way Bokuto kept glancing at Akaashi from the corner of his eye, and Akaashi wanted to laugh at Bokuto’s pathetic excuse of being discreet.

“What is it?” Akaashi asked, uncharacteristically breaking the silence. 

Bokuto jumped, startled that Akaashi noticed him watching. It took a second for Bokuto to gather himself, absentmindedly bouncing the volleyball on the gleaming gym floor, face scrunched in a way that Akaashi had only seen while Bokuto was on the court.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Bokuto opened with those words, bouncing the ball one last time before catching it tightly in his hands. Akaashi’s silence was the only indicator of an agreement, and Bokuto took this as his cue to continue. 

“Why do you hold back?” 

There were many things Akaashi thought Bokuto might have asked. This one wasn’t even really on the list. Akaashi had forgotten what it felt like to be caught so off guard, unable to do anything but stand stupidly as his mind buffered. Bokuto’s pupils moved imperceptibly quickly, raking themselves all over Akaashi. 

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Akaashi replied carefully, his shoulders rigid, nervously clasping his hands in front of him.

Bokuto frowned a little deeper, resting the volleyball now between his arm and his hip. “You don’t have to lie, Akaashi. I can tell you’re not… I see how you watch everything, but you always catch yourself before doing anything. It’s like you’re scared or… or – I don’t know! But you are, you’re holding back! I can just tell.”

It took all of Akaashi’s willpower not to let his jaw hang loose, only allowing himself to blink slowly. He dug through his mind, searching through every crevice for any memory of someone being able to read him like this. He went out of his way to be invisible, yet the overly cheerful, happy go lucky, sunshine ace of the volleyball team had somehow managed to still see right through him. 

“So why?” Bokuto prodded again, and his tone could easily be confused as haughty, but Akaashi knew better. Akaashi continues to study Bokuto, the poor boy fidgeting under Akaashi’s frigid stare. But he doesn’t move, doesn’t back away. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, but he still waited for an answer

“It’s a long story,” Akaashi said quietly, turning around to walk towards the volleyball cart. 

He hoped that would be the end of it, that Bokuto would take the hint and leave him alone. But before he could take more than three steps toward the cart, it clattered loudly and rolled away with the momentum of the volleyball that just landed into it from across the gym. 

Akaashi turns back to Bokuto, a single eyebrow raised incredulously at Bokuto’s now empty hands. A corner of Bokuto’s mouth lifts devilishly, and he offers Akaashi nothing but a shrug of his shoulders.

“I’ve got a bit of time,” Bokuto rests his hands on his hips, shifting all his weight onto one leg. Akaashi wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, and wanted to ask Bokuto why he even cared. He was happy with how things were right now, and there was no need for him to do anything drastic. 

Even as the thought passed through his mind, Akaashi could feel no truth behind it. And one look at Bokuto told him that he was not winning this round. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and heaved out a sigh.

“If I don’t hold myself back, then people tend to get intimidated,” Akaashi offered, and that was as much as he was willing to expand on at this moment. “And when people are scared of you… that’s when you find out how nasty they can actually be.” 

“So what? You’re scared?” Bokuto asked, and Akaashi scoffed because of course he wouldn’t understand. Everyone loved Bokuto, and even those that didn’t still held some sort of respect for him. He was the ace of the volleyball team, and he was the school’s heartthrob. What the hell would he know about being shunned and isolated?

Akaashi opened his mouth to say something snarky, the words burning up his throat and on to the tip of his tongue. Except when his lips parted, it wasn’t his voice that came out.

“If you hold yourself back because of random, faceless people, then aren’t you letting them win?” Bokuto interrupted Akaashi before he could speak, as if he knew that if he let the setter say whatever he was about to say, then the conversation would take a dive into the worst. “I hate losing, Akaashi.”

“What does me losing have anything to do with you?” Akaashi asked.

“Because we’re partners now. I got your back, and if you lose, I lose,” Bokuto smiled this time, and Akaashi’s chest felt a little bit lighter, “Like I said, I hate losing. So don’t make me into a loser, okay? Or it’s gonna be a problem.”

Bokuto brushes past Akaashi as he finishes speaking, hands resting on the back of his head as he walks the distance across the gym and to the volleyball cart. Akaashi’s eyes followed him in awe, a sudden fluttering in his heart and stomach as the ace digs out a new volleyball and bounces it twice onto the hardwood floors.

“We’ve only done eighty serves,” Bokuto changes the topic seamlessly, continuing on as if he hadn’t rendered Akaashi speechless, “We gotta do at least twenty more before Yamiji-san comes back to kick us out.” 

Akaashi felt his feet move, his arms positioning themselves to receive, his body running around the gym until sweat dripped on the floor all around him. But his thoughts were elsewhere, plagued with memories of a past that had apparently silenced him into a pathetic existence. He’d thought this path would be better, make him feel like he belonged.

Maybe for a while, he convinced himself that it did, satisfied with existing as a shadow on the wall. He hadn’t anticipated Fukurodani's golden-eyed Adonis to shatter the illusion with so much ease, Akaashi wonders how he ever fooled himself into believing it in the first place. 

They didn’t say a single word to each other for the rest of their practice. Or on the walk home. Or at morning practice the next day. Bokuto didn’t speak to Akaashi until the middle of their afternoon practice, when Akaashi had received every single one of Konoha’s spikes and gave Bokuto elegant, risky serves that had everyone on the other side of the net scrambling on their feet. 

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Bokuto exclaimed while pumping his fist, giving Akaashi a pat on the back that made the setter jerk forward two steps, “Keep that up, Akaashi!”

Akaashi rubbed the back of his neck, tilting his head slightly to the side. That’s when he noticed the thumbs up Bokuto had thrown you from across the court, and the relieved smile you returned as you flipped the numbers on the scoreboard. You and Bokuto held each other’s gazes for a moment longer, and Akaashi felt like he’d eavesdropped on an entire conversation. 

You shivered slightly when Bokuto broke away, as if Akaashi’s icy stare washed over your entire body. Then you turned your head unnaturally quick and met Akaashi’s stare dead on, making him jolt. You offered him a small wave and half a grin, but before he could respond, Bokuto was dragging him back into the game. 

After practice, Akaashi found Bokuto waiting for him by the gates of the school. He flew into an immediate tirade about the bad grade he got on his exam, and how the cafeteria ran out of katsu before he could get there. You showed up in the middle of Bokuro’s story, and the three of you started walking in sync towards the direction of Akaashi’s house, your voice mingling with Bokuto’s as you offered your own tidbits of the day. Akaashi didn’t question how you both knew where he lived, or why he was suddenly flanked by the two chattiest students in Fukurodani. But if Akaashi had known that was how it would all begin, then he might have cherished that moment a little bit more. 

He never really spoke to you during his initial months in the club, which isn’t saying much as he didn’t speak to anyone. You were nice enough – always asked him how he was doing, berating the older ones whenever they’d give him a hard time, giving him reassuring smiles whenever he got scolded for messing up. The perfect example of a manager; your only fault being the nonsensical hearts in your eyes whenever they happened to land on Bokuto. 

You tried to hide it desperately, but there was no hiding the affection in your smiles whenever they were directed toward Bokuto. It was obvious, painfully so, and it bewildered Akaashi that Bokuto still had not noticed. He can at least assume Yukie and Kaori knew, if the worried glances they threw at each other behind your back were of any indication. But if they or anyone else on the team were aware of your feelings, they respected your efforts enough to keep their thoughts to themselves. 

He couldn’t blame you, not in the slightest. Not when Akaashi’s own heart skipped a beat or two during the night of that initial confrontation, and suddenly he himself was enamored by the ace – wanted to give him the best serves, set up the best plays, win him all the games. When Bokuto was on the court, then it was natural law of the universe for Akaashi to use every skill in his arsenal to make sure he shines. Akaashi did not choose for it to be this way, it simply is.

Perhaps that was how it was for you as well, Akaashi thought. Sometimes, the most painful part about love is having no choice, the complete loss of control. Akaashi could see it; the groan after each stolen glance, shaking him off when his hug made your face too hot,  how you would slap your cheeks whenever you caught yourself staring, like a desperate attempt to break yourself out of some wretched spell.

If Akaashi was being honest, he hated seeing you that way. It didn’t take long for you to become someone precious to him, maybe even quicker than it took for Bokuto. Bokuto infuriated Akaashi as easily as he amazed him, each day a toss up on whether he admired him or wanted to strangle him.

But you brought Akaashi comfort, and a sense of understanding he’d never experienced from a friend. Sure, technically it was your job to assist the team, but he could tell that everything you did truly came from your heart. You were kind and selfless, the type of person that would give someone the very shirt off your back but still spit venom at anyone that spoke ill of your friends. 

To have you in his corner, Akaashi couldn’t even begin to explain how much it saved him. He’d been drowning in the middle of an ocean, nearly overpowered by turbulent waves when Bokuto had given him a boat, and you’d given him an oar. As long as he remained with the two of you, then Akaashi thought he could get himself through it all. 

So whenever he would watch you watch Bokuto flex his muscles to the girls cheering in the stands during a game, watch you gripping your clipboard so hard your knuckles turned white, he may feel... a little bit more than annoyed. And whenever Bokuto would then openly flirt with some of those girls after the game, Akaashi could admit that he might even feel a little bit upset.

Because how could he not see the way you look at him, how you smile when he says your name, how you trail after him like a lovesick puppy? At this point, Akaashi’s been friends with the two of you for months, won and lost countless games, gone to training camps, spent more time with each other than with your own families. And the entire time, Akaashi had to work very hard to act like he didn’t notice your feelings. How could Bokuto still be so ignorant? 

It really bothered him a lot more than he cared to admit, and it surprised him. Akaashi never expected to care about you the way he does, but there it was. Maybe it was this comfortable closeness between you that propelled Akaashi to act so boldly, in a way he couldn’t bring himself to in a long time. 

At the end of one of these unsavory games, while Bokuto busied himself with trying to get the number of a cheerleader in the stand, Akaashi scanned the court for a second, stopping only when his eyes landed on you. You were comparing your notes with the coach, and Akaashi waited until you finished speaking and Yamiji-san stalked off to scold someone else before he approached. 

“Keiji! There you are, I wanted to talk to about your receives in the first set, you –”

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Akaashi asked, not even registering what you were saying. You might have been irritated at his interruption if you hadn’t been confused by the seemingly random question he just threw at your face.

“What? Tell who what?” 

“Bokuto,” Akaashi crossed his arms and straightened his back, “Are you ever going to tell him how you feel?”

You blinked at him once, the only indication that you heard what Akaashi said. He stood facing you, and the seconds seemed to stretch as you did nothing but stare back. The cacophony of sounds that usually bounced along the walls of the gym suddenly sounded muffled and dull. Your lips twitched slightly before they spread into a rehearsed grin, your face slipping easily into a mask of casual indifference.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Keiji,” you answered him softly, shaking your head. 

“Come on, Y/N,” Akaashi groaned, “You know exactly –”

“No, I really don’t,” you said almost pleadingly, your eyes darting around the gym, a mixture of sadness and relief in them when you see Bokuto still showing off to the girls that descended from the bleachers. You look back at Akaashi, brows furrowed as you said, “I don’t know what would make you even think that. Bokuto’s my best friend – that’s it. God, Akaashi, you should really be careful about what you say. If someone heard you, they might have gotten the wrong idea.”

You shot him another hard look – almost a glare, and one that he could read very well, that told him you knew he knew you were lying, that said please, just play along – before you made an excuse of gathering up all the other players for the bus back to school. 

Akaashi’s feet felt stuck to the ground, an achingly familiar helplessness sluicing through him as you walked away. He couldn’t even bring himself to move until Bokuto threw an arm around his shoulder to drag him out, finally done with his flirting and ready to go home. 

You were already seated on the bus when Bokuto and Akaashi finally deigned to board. The seat beside you was occupied by a chattering Yukie, who refused to move despite Bokuto’s complaints of always being the one that sits next to you. You laughed sheepishly and yelled claims of ‘manager bonding’ and doing everything you could to avoid meeting Akaashi’s eye. 

That was the tone of your relationship for the next few weeks. An awkward tension that no one else seemed to notice but you and him. You didn’t treat him any differently – you still greeted him with a smile, walked home together everyday, still messed with him during practice. You still asked him about his day, and told him about yours and Akaashi almost could have convinced himself that nothing was wrong. 

But everything you did started to feel like an act. Disingenuous, like a robot following a set program. You stopped sitting next to Bokuto at lunch, started walking to classes with your other friends instead. Your eyes started flicking to Akaashi whenever you felt you laughed too loudly at Bokuto’s jokes, and you latched yourself to the other players, throwing everyone off kilter. 

You were going out of your way to prove a point that only Akaashi could understand, and even when Bokuto himself had pointed out your strange behavior, you simply brushed him off. There was a sense of insecurity that Akaashi knew he instilled in your actions, and it brought a twinge of regret that he never wanted to feel when it came to you. 

Akaashi had been pouring over how to remedy the situation for days when an olive branch came in the form of Bokuto’s new girlfriend. 

She was a girl from another school, and he met her after one of their games. She came over to their side of the court and congratulated Bokuto for thoroughly defeating her team. She was very pretty and he liked her smile, so Bokuto had asked her out, and she was very quick to say yes. She was waiting for him one day after practicing, standing patiently at the entrance gates with a bag of homemade cookies in her hand. 

Bokuto was so excited as he ran out of the gym to meet her, sparing one minute to ask Akaashi to let you know where he’d gone. Akaashi supposed it was a little comforting to know that Bokuto genuinely cared about you, even if it was encased with his own selfishness. 

Akaashi waited until the rest of the volleyball club had emptied the gym before he made his way into the equipment room. He could hear your sniffling before he even opened the door, his heart slowly crumbling when he walked in on you crouched behind the volleyball cart. 

You sat on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. Your forehead rested against your knees, and your quiet sobs filled the tiny room. You didn’t bother to look up as Akaashi approached, and fought his own tears as your shoulders shook with every breath. 

He kneeled in front of you quietly, silently debating with himself before he placed a tender hand on your shoulder. You continued to cry, taking uneven, shaky breaths. You didn’t move from your position, and Akaashi briefly wondered if you’d even registered his presence. 

“Did he leave?” You asked suddenly, voice thick and hoarse.

“Yes,” Akaashi answered. 

Slowly, you lifted your head to face him. Your eyes were puffed and swollen, eyes rimmed with red and cheeks stained with tears. Snot dribbled down your nose disgracefully, and there was a sorry attempt on your part to wipe away the evidence of your heartbreak. The sleeves you’d worn your heart on were now soaked with salty tears, and you couldn’t control the tremble of your lips. 

Akaashi didn’t know what else to do other than wrap his arms around you. The position was awkward and he’s pretty sure he’d actually never hugged you before. He felt you stiffen for a second, almost making him pull back. But then you buried your face into the crook of his neck and cried. Akaashi could feel his shirt begin to soak, but he pulled you tighter against him. 

He had no idea how long he held you for, but he stayed there in that smelly old equipment room and he held you until his knees ached and you had no more tears left to give. 

Neither of you spoke once you were done, giving him a sad smile as you pulled away. He didn’t offer one back, but he helped you up to your feet and kept an arm around your shoulder as you both walked out silently. Akaashi knew there was nothing he could say to soothe the pain, and you didn’t look like you wanted to say a single word about it anyway. 

He simply walked home with you as usual, taking the long way around to ensure you both end up walking by your favorite takoyaki stand. He spent the money he was saving in his wallet for a rainy day, and bought you all the food you could eat. He had even gotten your favorite popsicle from the convenience store by your house, and though you still remained silent, he was happy to see you eat everything he gave you. 

By the time Akaashi dropped you off at your front door, the tears were long gone and the moon was high in the sky. You turned to Akaashi, nervously fiddling with your fingers as you tried to find the words. Akaashi smiled to himself, and reached out to pat his hand lightly on the top of your head.

“It’ll be okay,” he said, hoping you’d believe him. The lonely smile you gave him tells him you don’t, but you hug each other one last time anyway before saying your goodbyes.

Akaashi remembered the first time you and Bokuto successfully broke through his brick walls. Broke might have been too gentle of a word for it though – smashed through might be better. It was at the start of his second season with Fukurodani, and he was still riding the high of an amazing first year. He was ready for an even better year, ready to try out his new skills at the first practice match Yamiji-san had arranged with a school the team had never played with before. 

Then a familiar voice called his name from the other side of the court. A few familiar faces from a life he was desperate to forget peered at him through the net, chuckling and laughing and asking him where the hell he’s been for the past year? Akaashi froze – completely and pathetically froze. It was only after six missed serves and accidentally smacking Bokuto in the back of the head with a ball did Yamiji-san finally tire of his antics and benched him for the rest of the game. 

Akaashi ran to the locker rooms as soon as practice was over. He didn’t acknowledge his old classmates, didn’t even pretend to be polite or engage in empty pleasantries. Instead, he hid in one of the shower stalls until the rest of the team left and he was absolutely sure there would be no one left to see him leave. 

But when he exited the stall, there you were. Standing next to Bokuto in a locker room he was absolutely sure you weren’t allowed to be in, with your hands on your hip and brows etched in concern. The two of you cornered him, and barricaded him until he fessed up about what the hell just happened on that court. Akaashi was a resilient man, but even he could do nothing against you two. 

So he told you everything – from his ‘guru’ days to the milk dumping incident to the isolation and bullying – everything. He didn’t stop speaking for what felt like hours, but neither you nor Bokuto interrupted him once, allowing him to regurgitate everything he’d been holding in for years. 

When he was done, he wasn’t sure what he expected. Pity, or sympathy or something like that. But, no. Instead, when he looked at the faces of his two best friends, all he saw was anger. Clenched fists, tight jaws, fire burning in eyes – anger. And it made him happy. Whatever happened in his past didn’t matter, because here, he had two people who were willing to get angry on his behalf. 

He thought he couldn’t get any closer to you than he was at that moment. But he was wrong.

Walking away from your doorstep, Akaashi knew the bond between the two of you was solidified after this – having already seen each other at your worst, taking turns being each other’s salvation. You become more than his friend, you were his sister. Sister in pain, sister in darkness, sister in light. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you, and you for him. 

Thinking back, the sobbing was probably a bit of an overreaction. A little dramatic considering Bokuto had broken up with that girl not even three weeks later. He was crying and moaning about it for about ten minutes until you promised to take him to his favorite yakiniku spot, and he never thought about that girl again. 

Things would go back to normal for a little while – the three of you acting as reckless teenagers do when they had free reign over the streets of Tokyo. Sitting in cafes sharing one drink for four hours, getting scolded by the coach for staying in the gym too long, laughing and arguing over the most ridiculous reasons that Bokuto turned emo. 

Until Bokuto meets his next girlfriend. Then your heart breaks into a million pieces, and Akaashi tries to hold you together. Then Bokuto breaks up with his girlfriend, and comes running back with crocodile tears in his eyes. You’d catch him again with open arms, and things are alright for a little while until the ugly cycle starts over again. 

Akaashi tried not to let himself wonder why you allowed yourself to accept this – allow Bokuto to put you through it over and over again. He told himself that he didn’t really care, it wasn’t any of his business. Whether you told Bokuto your true feelings or not was your prerogative, and Akaashi wouldn’t do anything but respect your decisions. Even if the decision seemed borderline masochistic. 

Akaashi is forced to simply brush off his irritation at his best friend, because Bokuto was so painfully unaware of what he’d been doing. And if Bokuto was too stupid to see what was right in front of his eyes, then Akaashi was not interested in being the one to enlighten him. 

Ultimately, Akaashi does what he does best – keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself. He would listen to every single complaint Bokuto would have about his girlfriends, but he never dared offer his own opinions. He allowed you to drag him to whatever random activity would keep your mind off your own issues, but he never outwardly acknowledged the hurt you always tried to hide. 

And as horrible it is to say, the girls never lasted very long. A month, maybe two at the most. Hardly enough time for Akaashi to memorize any names, as cruel as that sounded. Soon enough, they would complain about his training schedule, or whine about how he hangs out with his friends a bit too much, and that was all it took for Bokuto to cut it off. Bokuto’s priorities always remained the same, and that at least was something Akaashi happily gave him credit for. 

By the time college rolled around, you had even started dating. No one else had ever successfully managed to ensnare your attention for more than five minutes, but Akaashi appreciated seeing you try. Though he admits it was rather amusing to see Bokuto so fervently talk shit about any person you had even a remote interest in, and maybe a little bit more than satisfying to see Bokuto finally be the one on the other side. 

Bokuto, surprisingly, never actually brought any of his girlfriends around. He talked about them, and on occasion, he would invite them to some of his games, but that was it. It was odd, because Bokuto had always struck Akaashi as the type that wanted his partner cheering for him at every opportunity they could get, and would want to hear their voice screaming his name from the stands. But on the rare occasion he actually allowed any of them to come watch him, Bokuto was quick to usher them out of the gym before anyone could even introduce themselves.

It bewildered Akaashi to no end. Was it because he was ashamed?Akaashi’s met at least two girlfriends, and Bokuto’s gone on double dates with Konoha and Washio. Was he hiding his girlfriends from you?

Did he finally get a taste of his own medicine when he saw you kiss that guy in your psych class? Was Bokuto trying to spare you the pain? Akaashi didn’t really want to think of the implications if that statement were true. 

Well, out of sight, out of mind was a set up that worked for him very well.

And more importantly, it worked well enough for you. Worked for Bokuto as well, apparently. He didn’t want to see any of your flings, and you were better off not seeing any of his. A nauseating song and dance that only the two of you knew the steps for. Neither of you were willing to be each other's partner, satisfied to let the opportunity suspend in the air between you, yet never reaching out to take it. 

But hey, if you’re fine with it, then Akaashi could work with this. He could live with this.

That was until Hikari came along. 

Akaashi was honestly a little surprised – Hikari wasn’t typically the type of woman that Bokuto would tangle himself with. That wasn’t to say anything about her looks, or her personality – she was very much Bokuto’s type. But she had already been an essential part of at least one aspect of his life before they started dating, and it was unusual for Bokuto to allow a relationship to transpire with someone so close – the manager of his team, at that. Bokuto always dated outside the proximity of his circle; someone that went to another school, or one that he met at the gym, or sat next to him in one of his classes. 

Never anyone too close. Never anyone that would matter if he lost them. 

But apparently, Hikari was a woman on a mission. Akaashi knew it from the first time he met her, could see it in the wolfish gleam in her eyes as she watched Bokuto from across the room.

He was a little taken aback, but not all that shocked when you came home from that party, practically giving him a heart attack when you burst through the front door and stormed directly to the couch. You didn’t spare him a glance before you face planted onto the cushions, buried your face into the decorative pillows he’d spent two hours picking, and let out the most ungodly scream he’d ever heard. 

You didn’t have to tell him what happened; Akaashi could easily guess. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he still asked slowly, afraid any sudden movements might cause you to lunge. 

“I wish I knew,” your voice was muffled, not bothering to lift your head from the pillow. 

A nagging voice in his head told him he should have stayed at that party, to be your emotional support at the very least if nothing else. He mentally kicked himself, glaring at the laptop he sat in front of, and the blinking document of his unfinished part in the group project he was meant to present to his group mates in the morning. As if the assignment was responsible for his failure. 

You’d be safe if he left, he reasoned with himself. The volleyball team was full of idiots, but they were all good guys. Besides, Bokuto was there and there wasn’t a single chance in hell anything bad would happen to you while he was around. And if Bokuto was too drunk, then Kuroo at least would make sure you all got home safely.  He’d even set himself up on the dining room table so he could see you walk through the front door with his own two eyes. 

Because he had fully expected you to walk through those doors with Bokuto in tow like you’ve done dozens of times, and the fact that you arrived in the dead of night alone was enough to make Akaashi’s blood pressure rise. 

He stood from his chair and walked the few short steps to the fridge. He opened the freezer door, pushing through packets of frozen meat until he found the cream puff flavored ice cream that you had to special order online. He grabs the pint and two spoons before he makes his way to the couch. 

You didn’t move when he pushed your leg to the side, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. You didn’t move when he nudged your calves with his knuckles and asked you to sit up before you suffocated. So he just leaned back, tossing the lid of the ice cream pint onto the coffee table before digging in. 

It’d been two bites of ice cream and one minute later when you slowly maneuver yourself to sit up. Akaashi tried to pretend not to notice you, but it was impossible when you snatched the extra spoon and the entire pint out of his hand in one fluid motion.

“Jesus, watch out for my fingers,” he mumbled, smirking at the glare you shot his way. But you only held the fake contempt until the first spoon of your favorite dessert hit your lips – then you were sighing and leaning your head against Akaashi’s shoulder.

He patted a hand on your knee, reaching over for a scoop of ice cream and chuckling when you blocked his spoon with yours. You tried to hide the ice cream from him, but his arms were long, and he easily snatched the pint back. 

“Hey!” you cried out, and Akaashi quickly conceded before you really took out a finger. 

“How’d you get home?” Akaashi asked, lifting his feet to rest them on the coffee table and leaning his head against yours.

“Kuroo walked me home,” you replied quietly.

“Good.”

Neither of you said another word as you let the quiet of the evening envelope you, not a single sound save for the occasional clashing of spoons when you both reached for another bite. He could feel you slowly ease beside him, the tension in your body melting away with each passing minute.

When the ice cream was finished, the empty pint decorated your table, along with two spoons haphazardly tossed, surrounded by splotches of melted cream that was sure to be a pain to clean. Your breathing was steady, and the time on the clock read ‘Akaashi is going to be exhausted in the morning’. 

He didn’t care, though. You hadn’t moved or spoken in a while now, and Akaashi was convinced you were already asleep. He already prepared himself to spend the night on the couch, your head on his shoulder and his body twisted in a way that was sure to make his back ache the next day. 

He was just seconds away from giving into sleep’s lovely tug when you broke the silence. 

“I saw him with…” you said, fiddling with the hem of your shirt and clearing your throat, “It was Hikari.”

Akaashi sighed, reaching a hand up to pat your head. 

“Are you okay?” he asked again, a pitiful question that he’s repeated to you countless times.

He waited for your usual answer – vehement denial that anything could be possibly wrong, an airy dismissal of his concerns, and a change in conversation so effortless, it almost makes Akaashi forget what he was saying to you in the first place.

This time, though – this time, a weighted silence followed his question, and you looped an arm around his, hugging him firmly.

“Not really,” you admitted softly. 

It was the first time Akaashi had ever heard you confess your heartache. It was always something that was unspoken, and seeing your crumpled face made Akaashi regret ever keeping things that way. He turned fully to wrap himself around you gently, and you gave yourself to his embrace. He’d only heard a sniffle or two, but he could feel the moisture slowly seeping into his t-shirt. It was a feeling that was achingly familiar. 

“Come on, now. Didn’t we say crying over boys was… I think your words were ‘so fucking embarrassing’,” Akaashi mumbled into your hair, smiling when he felt you chuckle against him. His stomach turned at the inadequacy of his words, but he had no idea what else to offer, so he simply offered himself. “I’m here for you, okay? Always.”

You pulled back for a moment to give him a watery smile. Akaashi wiped at your tear stained cheeks.

“Literally, your snot is dripping down to your mouth, and it’s disgusting.” 

Your laughter warmed Akaashi’s cheeks, smacking him on the shoulder before you stood up. You said nothing else as you stalked off into the darkness of your bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights before shutting the door. 

A myriad of emotions swirled through Akaashi as he remained seated on the couch. Was there more that he could have said? Could have done? If he had stayed at the party, would he have been able to stop this from happening? Was it even any of his business to stop it? 

But Akaashi knows himself, and knows he would have said nothing if he saw Bokuto sneak away with Hikari. He would have done nothing except perhaps usher you to the other side of the house, using whatever means to keep you distracted. Even if he was there, all he could have done was spare you the knowledge of it – at least for one night. 

He couldn’t help but feel as if he failed you then – to be a good friend, a brother. Or maybe he’s failed you for years. You’d never see it that way, could never even fathom the notion of his failure, and somehow that thought bothers Akaashi more. 

Akaashi stood up and stalked to his own room. He shut the door and collapsed onto his bed, hatred pumping from his heart through his veins as he drifted off to sleep. 

It was that lingering hate he could still feel churning in his gut when he awoke the next morning that spurred him out of bed and scurrying into the living room. He had every intention of starting the day as a new man – one who didn’t allow his cowardice consume him, didn’t place the comfort of his wellbeing over the needs of those he loved. 

Those were the thoughts that ran through his mind, but his momentum halted instantly when he rounded the corner of the hallway, and saw you standing in the genkan. You looked like you had just rolled out of bed yourself, eyes swollen and still wearing the clothes from last night. Your hand rested on the doorknob, the front door wide open.

You turned to him as he approached, and gave him an almost pleading look. Akaashi only had to wonder why you were distressed for two seconds before Bokuto barrelled through the doorway, way too loudly and looking much too bright for the hour. 

Akaashi has seen this dance before. He’s seen it so many times, the sequence of it already playing out in his mind like a familiar melody. Bokuto comes in with a plan that sounded equal parts ridiculous and exhausting, dragging you out without even asking. Akkashi scoffed as you tried and failed to ward off Bokuto with pathetic excuses, but as usual he was having none of it. And both you and Akaashi knew better than to think you could win against Bokuto Kotaro. 

He stood aside while you flurried around the apartment like a blizzard storm, fighting the frown at how Bokuto stood in the foyer with his hands on his hips, a satisfied and smug look on his face. Bokuto turned to Akaashi as if he’d just noticed him for the first time, slapping him on the shoulder before asking, “Akaashi! Why do I feel like I didn’t even see you at all last night?”

It was an effort not to lift a hand and smack Bokuto in the back of the head right then and there. But thankfully, you came rushing out of your bedroom, hastily grabbing a pair of shoes from the genkan. You shot him one last apologetic glance, and you were out the door before he could even bid you goodbye. 

And there he stood – alone in the foyer of his own apartment, feeling like nothing more than a fly on the wall. 

A glance at the clock was the only thing that could have set him in motion, already running ten minutes later than he wanted to start his day. From the tornado named Bokuto that just passed, and the flurry in which Akaashi himself now dashed around, it seemed the apartment was destined to be chaotic. 

He was impatiently tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter, glaring at his coffee machine as if his sheer will would somehow make the brew drip faster, when there was another knock on the door. 

The day was already filled with chaos, but apparently also surprises, because the last person he expected to see on the other side of the threshold was Kuroo Tetsuro. 

The two boys blinked at each other for a second, Kuroo looking just as confused as Akaashi as to why he came to visit in the first place. Kuroo shifted his weight from one foot to the other with his hands tucked in his front pockets, offered Akaashi a nervous smile and a lukewarm attempt at small talk before finally asking if you were still asleep inside. 

Akaashi sighed as he delivered the unfortunate news that not only were you already awake, but were currently being dragged no doubt halfway across the city by none other than Kuroo’s very own roommate. 

“Do you guys not communicate or something,” Akaashi asked blandly, and Kuroo just shrugged.

“He wasn’t there when I got home last night, and he wasn’t there when I woke up this morning. What do you want from me?” 

Akaashi rolled his eyes, but he still widened the door for Kuroo to slip through, who only smiled at him sheepishly as he entered the apartment. Akaashi asked if he wanted some coffee, and Kuroo graciously accepted, slipping back into the easy, laid-back attitude that he’d always been known to wear. 

Content to leave Kuroo to his own devices, Akaashi darted back into his room to quickly change. When he emerged eight minutes later, fully clothed and his backpack dangling from his shoulder, Kuroo was filling up his thermos with coffee while Akaashi’s already sat waiting for him at the counter. 

Akaashi nodded his head in thanks, Kuroo handing him his cup as the two walked out of the apartment in tandem. He didn't say anything when Kuroo remained in step with him, chattering about his classes as they embarked on the twenty minute walk to campus. Didn’t even consider that it was a weekend, and Kuroo likely didn’t even have to head in this direction so early at all. 

Kuroo stayed with Akaashi as far as the library entrance, the latter almost entering the building before he finally had the frame of mind to wonder, “Wait, so why’d you stop by the apartment today?” Akaashi looked over his shoulder and adjusted his bag a bit higher, “Sorry, I was too distracted by… everything. Did you need something?”

Kuroo chuckled almost guiltily, a crooked smile on his lips. He rubbed at the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at Akaashi as if he was debating whether he wanted to tell him the truth. 

“Oh, ha,” Kuroo breathed out, shaking his head slightly, “No, I was just – I mean, y/n looked pretty out of it last night. And I was about to,” Kuroo cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt, “I was heading to that cafe – you know, the one in front of that seven eleven? – and I thought I’d check in to see if she was alive.”

Akaashi’s eyes softened in understanding, pressing his lips into a thin line and nodding his head once as he turned to face Kuroo fully and offered him half a smile.

“Thanks for taking her home last night, by the way,” said Akaashi, “She’s lucky you were still at the party.”

Kuroo let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. He takes a strap of his own backpack off his shoulder and flips it to the front, holding it against his chest as he hastily pulls open the zipper.

“Yeah, it was just good timing,” Kuroo replied while he continued to dig through his backpack. He eventually pulls out a few red packets and hands them to Akaashi, “Here. It’s red ginseng. I’m not sure how long you’re planning to be here, but it should help you get through the day.” 

Akaashi examined the red packets in his hand, almost pouting with appreciation to Kuroo. But when he lifted his head, Kuroo was already walking across the courtyard.

“Make sure to give one of those to y/n when you see her!” He yelled over his shoulder, waving at Akaashi one last time before taking off. 

Akaashi did eat the red ginseng, and it did help him get through the seven hours he had spent in the library that day. And he never thought twice about Kuroo’s impromptu visit to his apartment that morning, nor did he think twice about being escorted to the library despite the cafe Kuroo mentioned being on the complete opposite side of campus. 

Because that was just Kuroo – Akaashi had never known him to be any other way. The very definition of all bark no bite, the kind of man that would tease you relentlessly for a stain on your pants, then take you to a store to buy you a new pair. 

Though Kuroo may have been closer to Bokuto, Akaashi had a tremendous amount of respect for the man, and would probably even go so far as to say Kuroo was also one of his closest friends. 

And when Hikari started to prove herself a new fixture, and Bokuto’s absence became more frequent, Akaashi was appreciative of Kuroo’s steady presence – still showing up to the study sessions, and coming over to watch volleyball games on Akaashi’s “much nicer TV”, and grabbing hot ramen and a cold beer after a particularly stressful test. 

He was acting as the Kuroo Tetsuro he’d always been, and it was that semblance of normalcy that Kuroo effortlessly provided, without anyone asking him to, nor any expectations from anyone else – like a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm, Akaashi knows it was Kuroo that brought them safely to harbor. 

Because Akaashi was waiting for it. Ever since that day you had come home from your outing with Bokuto, dragging your feet through the door, looking like someone had just ripped the world out from beneath your feet, he had been waiting. For the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable descent into madness - at least your version of it. 

He felt prepared for it in a way, felt ready. He was no longer going to pretend to believe your fake smiles and reassurances that you were fine while you locked yourself in your room days at a time, and he wasn’t going to let you throw yourself so hard into your studies that you forget to eat. 

Akaashi felt things would be different this time around. He’d make sure of it. So he waited for the moment your mask would fall, and prepared himself to catch the pieces.

But the moment never came. 

Don’t misunderstand. It’s not as if Akaashi wanted to see you have a mental breakdown for the eighth time in as many years, and he certainly didn’t want to watch you retreat into a shell of yourself as you attempt to reconcile your new reality with your broken fantasies. 

Akaashi can see it in your face sometimes, even though you try your hardest to hide it. The exhaustion beneath your red-rimmed eyes, the very slight downturn of your lips when you thought no one was paying attention, and the tiredness in your slumped shoulders, as if you’ve been carrying a mountain on your shoulders. 

Still, you always made sure to take care of everybody, and you did it for so long. Akaashi didn’t want to admit to being part of the guilty party, but he had just been as willing to take everything you gave, and believed when you said you needed nothing in return. 

It was shameful, and a little bit more than selfish, but a small part of him wanted this chance. To prove himself a worthy friend, that he could take care of the people that mattered to him the most. He almost hated himself for it, for using your suffering as an opening, but he wanted to make up for all the lost opportunities, for the pain his silence might have caused. 

It was his turn to take care of you, and he was ready to do a damn good job.

Except, you were fine. 

He was thankful, if not a little thrown off by the lack of a depressive episode. But thankful, nonetheless. 

More than thankful, though, he was curious. Bokuto was becoming increasingly absent, flaking on plans and ignoring phone calls. Akaashi had never seen him be so serious about a girl, and even he was feeling annoyed about being left in the proverbial dust. Akaashi had imagined you’d be a little more… upset.

He hadn’t noticed any particular changes. Your routine hardly deviated, aside from the occasional dinners or drinks at the bar with him and Kuroo – if you were not in class you were at work, if you weren’t at work you were home, and if you weren’t home you were in class. For a short while, Akaashi felt like he had been living with a ghost, just going through the motions until the sun set and rose again for the new day. 

Sometimes, though, he’d find you on the balcony, sitting on the matching chairs Bokuto’s sisters bought for you when the two of you had first moved in. A mug of coffee or tea would be in your hands, the liquid looking as if it had long gone cold. You wouldn’t acknowledge Akaashi whenever he’d step outside to join you. Say nothing as he sits in the vacant seat beside you, staring only out into the blinking lights of the city. 

When you were this way, Akaashi knew better than to try and bother you to speak. Your mind was eons away, in a world where Akaashi had never been and would never get to see. So he settled himself to sit beside you silently, until you were ready to climb back down from wherever you wandered off to.   

But even those days became few and far in between. 

It was something that confused him, like he’d been following a trail of crumbs laid before him, yet had no idea where it would lead him to. 

That was, until he walked up to Study room 201 for the usual Tuesday evening session. On a normal day he would simply barge into the room without a thought as to who was already in there or if they were in the middle of anything important. But there was a tug in his chest that halted him in front of the narrow, rectangular window cut-out of the sliding door. He was still as he peeked through the glass, and something clicked so loudly in his brain, his eardrums nearly burst. 

Because Study Room 201 was already a mess of textbooks and papers, prohibited snacks and drinks littered the conference table, and Kuroo Tetsuro was sitting next to you. 

You were leaning over as you read something on his laptop screen, and Kuroo slightly leaned back to give you some room. Your eyes were roving over the screen quickly, faster than any normal person should be reading. Then you frowned at something, your finger pointing at certain spots as you explained his mistakes. 

It seemed like you were ripping into Kuroo’s essay or project or whatever it was he was having you read over, your mouth running off into a seemingly endless tangent of all the things he could have done differently. If it was Akaashi in that situation, his head would probably feel so hot from how irritating your voice surely would have sounded in his ears. He might have shoved you away altogether. 

Yet, there was Kuroo Tetsuro, sitting in the seat Akaashi had only ever seen one other person sit in, staring at you as he tried but failed desperately to hide the smile on his face. You turned just as Kuroo’s smile bubbled into a chuckle, and you smacked your pen so hard on his head, Akaashi was afraid he might start bleeding. 

Kuroo’s chuckle turned into complete laughter, loud and obnoxious and infectious, it was only a matter of seconds until you dissolved into a fit of giggles yourself. 

Neither of you paid him much attention when Akaashi finally decided to open the door. In fact, it seemed as if you hadn’t noticed him at all, despite nearly slamming the door in his haste to enter. Akaashi settled into the seat across from you, as he’s always done, and a small part of him wondered if Kuroo might move back into his usual seat beside him now that Akaashi has entered the picture.

He didn’t. He simply smiled at Akaashi and asked him if he’d like a turn to criticize his work. Of course, Akaashi agreed and thoroughly enjoyed tearing down Kuroo’s perfectly good thesis if only because it made both of you laugh. 

Akaashi felt incredibly stupid for not seeing it before, and now that he has, he doesn’t understand how he could have possibly missed it. He stared at the man beside you now, sneaking grapes onto your laptop to get you to eat and wordlessly walking down the hall to fill your water bottle and filling in the seat Akaashi never braved to fill, and the revelations pour over him like a waterfall, loud and rumbling and serene all at once. 

He’s glad it was Kuroo. 

It was a little painful, though. Not a heartbreak, nor a pang of jealousy, but there was an ache that took hold in his body all the same. And he hated that selfish part of him that was hurt – wishing it was him that could have helped you heal.

But it wasn’t him, and he’s glad it was Kuroo. 

Whatever sort of pain or shame or guilt that he was torturing himself with was quickly eased away by the sound of your muffled laughter through the apartment walls during late night phone calls, the color that was beginning to return to your cheeks, and the light that had finally returned in your eyes.

In those following months, you stopped locking yourself in your room, stopped losing yourself in the city lights on that cold, empty balcony. And more than once has Akaashi come home to find you and Kuroo splayed across the living room, either giggling over something playing on the TV screen with beer cans littered across his coffee table, or sitting beside each other in comfortable silence while you both worked or studied.

One way or another, Akaashi would get roped into whatever it was you were doing with Kuroo. And he’ll complain, berate you two for wasting his time on nonsense and tomfoolery, but it was those moments that provided him with a sharp clarity, like he finally has all the pieces he needed for this puzzle. 

Akaashi may have been just a man on the outside looking in, but the picture that Kuroo had built with you – for you – was more beautiful and warm than Akaashi had ever thought to imagine. And whether you realized it or not, you now went about your days with a permanent smile on your lips and a lightness in the air about you that Akaashi had not felt in years. 

It had filled him with something he didn’t even know he had been missing, as if his lungs were finally taking their first gulp of air after so long underwater. The brightness you started to exude felt as warm and refreshing as summer’s first rays of sun, and Akaashi finally lets himself relax. 

Because Kuroo – that son of a bitch, Akaashi could kiss him in the mouth – he had taken the pieces of you that were scattered across the dirty floor, and he’s put together every single shard until you were nearly whole again. He had breathed an entirely new life into you, a mosaic of all the things you thought you couldn’t handle, brought back to make you stronger. You were almost unrecognizable. 

But people don’t change so easily, and some habits are ingrained into your bones. Akaashi could already see the beginnings of it. The self-doubt, the fear, overthinking your every word and action. Often, Akaashi felt as if he could hear your thoughts from across the room, his throat constricting as they wrapped around him like a noose. 

He didn’t want things to be the same, he told himself. Things were going to be different this time. He’d said it like a mantra over and over again, and now was the time for him to put his money where his mouth was. 

And one day, Akaashi was in the kitchen making his usual cup of coffee, you came bouncing – no, literally, you were bouncing – out of your room with just about the goofiest smile he’d ever seen on your face, and it was all the push he needed to step over the line.

He allowed himself that bit of courage, something he’d spent years shoving to the back of his mind, smothered by his own hands.

“Excited for your date?”

“It’s not a date!”

“Would it be so bad if it was?I mean look at you, you’re smiling like an idiot.” 

For one, glorious, precious second, Akaashi thought that things would finally work out. The gears started spinning your head, and even though you glared at him, Akaashi could already see a sparkle in your eye, and a hint of smile you tried to hide.

“You know what, Keiji, I’m getting sick of you –”

And it only took three knocks for everything to come toppling down. 

The not-so-serendipitous entrance of Bokuto Koutaro was usually accepted with open arms, and an exasperated sigh that wasn’t actually exasperated but a little excited to see what he’s got planned for the day.

But that day, the sight of his streaked hair made Akaashi’s stomach drop to the floor, and hearing the way he spoke to you only made Akaashi see red. 

He almost didn’t register the slam of his front door, the blood roaring in his ears too loudly for him to hear your heated exchange. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel sorry for his best friend, pouting like a child whose favorite toy was just ripped from his hand. 

Akaashi knew, deep down somewhere in a dusty corner of his heart, that Bokuto didn’t mean any harm. He might have even thought he came here with the best of intentions, that maybe he was trying to be a good friend. And maybe that’s what irritates Akaashi even more, the complete lack of self-awareness, and the obliviousness to those around him – perfectly content with staying inside his own Bokuto-powered bubble. 

Irritated, yes. Still, Akaashi couldn’t bring himself to be truly vexed. Not when Bokuto looked just as confused and distraught. Akaashi didn't know what he was thinking, or perhaps he wasn’t even thinking at all, but he couldn’t stop himself. But the worst part of it was, he didn’t want to. Because you were finally letting yourself be happy, and he wasn’t going to let Bokuto ruin it. 

“She’s finally moving on. You shouldn’t do anything to mess that up.”

“Just leave it alone, Bokuto-san. Before anyone gets hurt.”

By the time he was finished, the flames of anger Akaashi felt just moments prior had completely died, and he was left with nothing but a taste of smoke and ash on his tongue. He spoke the words a lot more calmly than he felt, a familiar sense of sympathy creeping over his heart yet again.

Because the look on Bokuto’s face was one Akaashi had seen before, but never on him. A mix of shock and confusion, topped off with a hint of anguish and regret. It looked sad enough on you, but on Bokuto, it was heartbreaking.

So he truly didn’t know. Akaashi’s not sure if it made him feel better or worse. He just knew he was finished with this game, and although he couldn’t really understand the gravity of what he’d just done, he didn’t regret it. When Bokuto silently nodded and left his apartment, he felt only relief.

There was an eerie calm that settled in the wake of Bokuto’s departure. You came back from your date-not-date with Kuroo in infinitely better spirits than when you left, back to skipping around the apartment while humming a tune only you could hear, and the morning’s debacle was already long forgotten. 

Kuroo, unsurprisingly, became quite determined to attach himself to your hip, with a new sense of comfort and a different sort of tension that Akaashi didn’t feel like addressing. It seemed the encounter with Bokuto had added fuel to more than one fire, and if Kuroo was trying to hide his feelings before, he wasn’t bothering to do so now. Akaashi’s caught the way Kuroo looks at you more than once, and it’s even given him butterflies more than he cared to admit. 

Bokuto eventually apologized, and he’d even started bringing Hikari around more. She really was a sweet girl, clearly putting in the effort to get to know Bokuto’s friends. She even desperately tried to ignore Bokuto’s longing looks at a certain blossoming couple, and Akaashi wished he had the capacity to care just a little bit more about the poor girl Bokuto dragged into the tangled web of his heart. 

Alas, he was too busy preparing for the storm.

Akaashi had always been an overthinker. It’s in his nature, something inherent in him that he could never shake no matter how hard he tried. Or it could be the result of his younger days hiding behind his fear, maybe it was something he never actually got over. Akaashi doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he knows much of anything these days. 

His useless mind was only searching for ways he could have prevented this. If he pushed you about your feelings earlier, would you have ended up with Bokuto instead of Kuroo? Would it have been the two of you laughing and dancing, pouring honey in each others’ ear in a crowded room like no one was watching? 

If not for Akaashi, would Bokuto have ever even realized you were in love with him? Were it not for him, would it have eaten away at Bokuto’s very heart until he attacked his own best friend? Akaashi should have kept his mouth shut. If he did, then maybe you might have actually allowed yourself to enjoy being with Kuroo, to let him romance you in the way he’s been aching to do, to let yourself fall in the way you’ve been afraid to for so long. 

And if he did, then maybe he wouldn’t have found Bokuto’s white-knuckled fists gripping Kuroo’s shirt in the middle of a stunned crowd, drenched in sticky alcohol and hair in disarray while you were crying in the corner. Hikari wouldn’t have been sobbing in the back of a dirty taxi, fighting the bile rising in her throat from the betrayal of the one meant to love her most.

He wouldn’t have had to drag you home, too stunned into silence to fight him. He was thankful for that, because he knows that if you had seen the look on Kuroo’s face as everyone he loved left him soaked, eyes stinging, and alone… Akaashi would have deserved that punch you’d throw in his face. 

There were a plethora of things he wished he said, things he could have done. They played through his mind like an endless reel of maybes and what ifs and would haves over and over again as if determined to drive him insane.

He’s not sure what to do now. He’s not sure if he should even do anything. He was tired, he hadn't eaten in at least twenty seven hours, and when he looked in the mirror that morning, he cringed at the deep purple color that encircled his eyes. 

The coffee maker beeped loudly, and Akaashi mindlessly grabbed his mug from the cabinet. His eyes were unfocused, relying on his muscle memory to grab the oat milk creamer from the fridge and mixing in his preferred amount of sugar. 

The morning was calm, a stark contrast from the evening before, and Akaashi’s been awake for a lot longer than he’d care to admit. He stirred his spoon in circles, watching the whorls of milk blend into inky water. This was his fourth cup. Four times he’s brewed a fresh pot, hoping to have one ready for you once you step out of your room. Four times the coffee had turned cold, and he watched it swirl against the steel of his sink as he poured it down the drain. Four times he’s walked to the counter to brew a fresh pot again. 

He winced when he took a sip, coffee burning his tongue, like one last insult to his injuries. By now, he’s already used up more than half the bag of coffee beans you brought home from work just the other day. He hated being wasteful. He hated drinking more than one cup before he could even eat his breakfast. He hated waiting for you alone with nothing but the sugar granules littering his dining table to keep him company. 

He hated the silence in his apartment. He hated the 53 missed calls on his phone from Kuroo and Bokuto. He hated that he was the one who sent Bokuto into a downward spiral. He hated every single face that did nothing but gawked with their phones out while two men – who had never so much as raised their voices at each other  – looked like they were two seconds away from ripping each other's throat out.  

He hated everything.

But he would still do it all over again. Let the fire he had unknowingly started burn their slate clean. If it means peace, if it means freedom from the cage they built around themselves… then he’d do it all over again, for his friends. 

And once it grows cold, Akaashi will brew another pitcher of coffee. He will make himself another cup. 

And he will sit in this chair, and he will wait until he sees you walking out that door. 

The sun was nearing its peak when you finally woke up. 

You cursed yourself for forgetting to draw all your curtains last night, and you squinted against the harsh rays of sun now beating down on your face.

It was an effort to open your eyes. There was crust lining your waterline, stinging your lashes when you tried to flutter them open. Your lids still felt heavy and swollen, and you barely won the battle of keeping them open. 

Your head was throbbing, so loudly that it was the only thing you could hear. You dig into your temples with the heel of your palm, groaning as you positioned yourself to sit up. You run your hands along the rumpled sheets until your fingers hit something hard. You dig through a little more, closing your eyes and bracing yourself as you grab your phone. 

Dead. Only a black screen stared back, no matter how many times you pressed the buttons. You tossed the phone back on the mattress just as you flopped yourself back down, the both of you landing on the sheets like a useless brick.

You should probably charge the damn thing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to disturb the morning’s peace just yet. You doubt you’d find another moment of it the second you get out of this bed. 

Instead, you bury your fingers into your own hair, twisting your body around until your face is buried in your pillow, and you fight the urge to scream into it, too worried that the extra strain might actually cause you to hurl your guts out.  

Not yet. 

You burrowed even deeper into your sheets, wrapping the blankets around yourself until you were nothing more than a cocoon of self-preservation. Because you weren’t ready to face it. The betrayal you were unknowingly the center of, the years of friendship that was splintered in a matter of seconds, the broken hearts of the people you cherished the most. You weren’t ready to face any of it. Not yet.

As if the cowardly admission was some sort of key, memories began to flood through wide open gates in your head, soaking you all over again with sticky alcohol and salty tears. You tried to push it back, tried to cover yourself, like holding an umbrella in a hurricane. But the waves of memory overpowered you, knocking you off your feet each time you remembered Kuroo’s wide-eyed, vacant look as he watched Akaashi haul you away. 

Kuroo. 

Tetsuro.

Even a mere whisper of his name still sends shocks through your nerves, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand straight. The thought of him consumed you so easily, so wholly, like he was a blanket of calm that smothered all your raging thoughts until there was only him. Everything about him made you so dizzy, light headed and out of breath.

Every time you hear his voice, so rich and creamy, it coats all over you like something luxurious on your skin. Forcing yourself to pretend that you’re not breathing in his scent whenever he’s near, pretend that cedar and smoke and warm amber don’t haunt your dreams – it was a tremendous effort on your part to keep yourself sane, to keep yourself from free-falling into the rabbit hole that was Kuroo Tetsuro. 

But last night… You could have dreamt all you wanted about what it would be like to have him look at you with shaky breaths and dilated pupils and ask if he could kiss you, and it still wouldn’t have amounted to anything close to actually having him in front of you. It made you want to laugh almost as much as it made you want to cry, because of course Kuroo Tetsuro could make reality surpass fantasy. 

You wished the memories could have stopped there, that your night ended with the only kiss that has ever made you feel like you were in the clouds.

But fate was almost as cruel as life. 

It was difficult to explain how it felt, for everything to finally click into place while also spiraling into confusion. 

You understood with painful clarity why Hikari hated you, why she acted like you were a pebble in her shoe, and looked at you as if your very existence was an eyesore. You remembered that fight with Bokuto, and the tension that never went away even after the two of you reconciled – all the times Bokuto’s mood would plummet at the mere mention Kuroo, each time you ignored the frustrated glances he threw towards the both of you, hoping you were simply imagining things.

Because what reason could Bokuto possibly have to act that way? You thought about it over and over, and could never come up with an adequate conclusion. 

Now, your willful ignorance has finally come to pay its retribution, a sort of cosmic joke that you were sure some powers above found absolutely hilarious – because Bokuto Kotaro was in love with you. In love. With you. Has been, apparently, for … you didn’t even want to think of how long, couldn’t comprehend the implication of his confession.

A confession that you vividly remember praying for, words that your heart has longed for and ached to hear. Cried for in the silent void of your bedroom, hoped for in your fractured soul, because for so long, you waited, even just for a sliver for a chance for Bokuto to actually see you as more than a friend, more than just the overbearing manager who followed him to college. 

It almost kills you to know that he was waiting for the same thing. 

For a moment, you envisioned it. The life you could have had with Bokuto – walking around campus tucked beneath his arm, registering for classes that fit each other’s schedule, wearing his jersey when you watch his games. Maybe you would have joined the team as a manager, and there wouldn’t have been a second you wouldn’t spend together. Bokuto probably wouldn’t have even waited for the first year to end before convincing you to move in with him. The apartment would have been small, but he wouldn’t ever miss a single dinner together. 

Every morning, you’d wake up to an empty bedroom, but by the time you prepared two steaming mugs of coffee, Bokuto would have already returned from his morning run. He’d kiss you and embrace you, and you’d get ready for the day together, leave your home together, and come home together.

Grief is peppered through every thought like weeds, mourning for the time lost and each memory that never happened. It would have been a beautiful life together. It would have been filled with love, laughter, and happiness so bright, just imagining it made your eyes burn. 

The smell of fresh coffee permeated through the musty, stale air of your bedroom. You could almost see the trail of the scent wafting through the open seams of your door, snaking through the smog until it wrapped around you like a warm embrace. It beckoned you like a familiar friend, so enticing that it actually spurred you to sit back up. 

Suddenly, you felt your stomach grumble and the dryness in your mouth felt like ash, as if the smell of arabica beans was that first fallen domino that had all your issues tumbling into each other. You ignored the rush of nausea churning in your stomach that had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol you drank last night, and swung your legs over the side of your bed, feet absently shuffling against the wooden floor until they found your slippers. 

You stifled a groan as you stood, and dragged your feet across the room slowly. You snatched the thin robe you kept hung over your computer chair, and wrapped it tightly around your body, taking a deep breath as you closed your fingers around the door knob and twisted it open. 

You nearly choked on the wave of aroma that rushed at you so fast, you might have thought you were stepping into an actual roastery instead of your own living room. You half expected to see Akaashi standing over a heated pan, vigorously stirring beans until they turned brown – or however the hell one would roast coffee, you seriously had no idea. 

Instead, you found him standing in front of the coffee maker you bought for him two Christmases ago, hands on his hips and foot tapping on the floor. The machine was bubbling and hissing as the coffee dripped slowly into the pot, and the counter was an abhorrent mess that you’ve quite literally never seen Akaashi make in the entire time you’ve lived with him. 

“Did you open up some sort of… cafe in our apartment that I wasn’t aware of,” You tried to keep your voice light and playful, but the words scratched at your throat, and they came out sounding tired and rough.

Akaashi could have broken his neck with the speed he turned around, shooting an arm out to catch himself on the counter when his momentum threatened to hurtle his body too far. He regarded you with wide, tired eyes, coffee staining his shirt in four different places, and you had a strange feeling that if you reached up and tried to run your fingers through his hair, you would find a bird’s egg nestled somewhere deep within. He looked – and you were putting this nicely – like absolute shit. 

You tried to smile, and his gaze immediately softened, lips coming together into a tight line. And you regretted any previous thoughts you might have had about the malnourished vibe he was putting down., because the pathetic way he looked at you definitely said that you looked about a million times worse. 

“I thought I’d give it a try,” he said softly, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter, “It can’t be that hard, can it? Especially with an experienced barista in the vicinity.”

You clicked your tongue, and gave Akaashi a mocking glare, “You wouldn’t be able to afford my skills and services.”

Akaashi brought a finger up to his lip in faux-thought, and you felt your heart flutter when he opened his arms wide, “I can pay with warm, comforting, and gentle embraces?”

You shook your head, and your slippers slapped against the wooden floor as you hurriedly made your way across the room and crashed into Akaashi’s arms.

“Can’t you be normal and just call it a hug?” Your voice was muffled against his chest, “Who the hell calls it an embrace these days?”

He pulled you against him even tighter, “Literary geniuses, that’s who.”

A chuckle softly escaped from your lips and vibrated against Akaashi’s chest, and it felt like a tether had been snapped. Even more giggles tumbled out, and the fact that Akaashi was not laughing somehow made it even more funnier – made what funnier, you actually had no idea, though at this point you could hear how unhinged your laughter actually sounded. But you couldn’t hold it back, and you laughed until your belly ached, and tears formed on the corners of your eyes. 

You laughed until the laughter felt like acid burning up your throat, and the tightness of it made it difficult to breathe. The tears that pooled in your eyes now flowed freely down your cheeks, and there was no stopping it then, not when you choked out a sob, clutched at the fabric of Akaashi’s shirt and cried. While Akaashi rested one hand on the back of your head, and stroked small circles around your back with the other, you wept and you cried. Cried and cried and cried. 

Whatever restraint you’d been keeping against your heart was undone by the strength of Akaashi’s arms around you, and knowing that he was there to hold you together… it was enough to have you falling apart.

You don’t know how long the two of you stood in that kitchen for. It could have been a few minutes. It could have been a few hours. Akaashi didn’t falter, didn’t move a single inch. Through each shuddering sob, every heaving gasp for air, Akaashi had stayed. He waited until the shaking subsided, and your breathing evened out, and there was not a single tear left to cry. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you peeled yourself away from his embrace, wiping your entire face with the sleeve of your robe. You backed another step, and Akaashi met your swollen, red eyes with his own sunken, tired ones. He tried to smile at you, and tried extremely hard to seem like he wasn’t uncomfortable in his soaked shirt.

“Go change out of that thing,” you said by way of apology, cringing at the mess you’d left behind, “Please.”

For a second, you thought Akaashi might have argued with you. But then his eyes switched from you to the hallway then back again, before he nodded and darted to the direction of his bedroom. You breathed out a laugh and walked to the counter, grabbing a towel from beside the sink and wiping away the coffee grounds that dirtied your usually-immaculate kitchen. 

You were sweeping up the stray flecks that littered the floor when Akaashi came barrelling back into the kitchen. Before he said a single word, he snatched the broom violently from your hand.

“Hey, I was –”

You couldn’t finish your sentence, not when Akaashi practically shoves you into a seat at the dining table. 

“Stay,” he pointed a finger at you, and you quickly swallowed back the snarky comment you were prepared to throw out. Your eyes just silently followed Akaashi as he fussed around the kitchen, mopping the rest of the floor and shaking his head at you when he realized you’d already cleaned the counters. 

He grabbed your favorite mug – drying on the dish rack like it had just been washed after use – then turned to make you a cup of coffee. But when he touched the top of his fingers to the glass body of the pitcher, he frowned. Deeply. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“The coffee got cold again,” he grumbled, making you shoot out of your seat and scramble towards him when he yanked the decanter off the hot plate and headed to the sink.

“Stop!” you practically screeched, just barely making it in time to grip his wrist before he could fully pour the contents down the drain. “What the hell are you doing?” 

Akaashi just stared. “It’s cold now.”

“So?!” you looked at him like the roles have now been completely reversed, “We can just microwave it or something. You don’t need to throw the whole thing out.” You tried to pry the pitcher out of Akaashi’s hand, but he clutched on tightly.

“I wanted you to have fresh coffee,” he said simply, and you gaped. You looked at him for a second longer before your eyes flick back to the counter that you just cleaned up, and realization washed over you like a gentle shower. 

“Did you –” you paused for a second, unsure of how you were going to deal with this situation, “Have you been making a new pot of coffee each time it went cold?” 

Akaashi opened his mouth as if to speak, but quickly clamped his lips down to press them into a thin line. You managed to grab the pitcher from Akaashi with no resistance, and rushed to place it back into its proper place on the machine. In your peripherals, you could see a crinkled bag, folded in half and tucked in a corner behind the coffee maker. 

“Is that…” you mumbled to yourself before quickly snatching the nearly empty bag from its hiding place, “Keiji!”

He winced slightly when you presented him with the evidence, coffee beans flying astray when you shake the bag in Akaashi’s face.

“I just got this bag, Keiji!” you groaned, lamenting the gallons of your favorite roast undoubtedly swirling through the drainpipes of Tokyo by now. You peeked into the bag, frowning when you saw that only about a fourth of the bag had been saved, “Now I have to wait until next month for the cafe to give me a free one.”

“I wanted you to have –”

“Fresh coffee. I got it,”  you sighed, placing two hands on each of Akaashi’s shoulders. Again, he showed no resistance when  you pushed him backwards and sat him on your empty chair. He opened his mouth to argue when you grabbed two mugs and poured in the cold coffee, but the glare you shot him was enough to make him shut it. You ignored his searing gaze as it trailed after your every movement, ignored it burning holes in your back while you microwaved the two mugs of coffee, ignored the burn in your throat at the pathetic way he watched you place one mug in front of him, and held the other as you took the empty seat across from him.

You gestured silently to the mug of coffee.

“Drink,” you ordered, and the word made Akaashi instantly grab the handle, “There’s only room for one mental breakdown in this apartment at a time. And I call dibs for today, okay?”

Akaashi couldn’t stop the laughter that broke free, and you couldn’t help but smile at the exasperated way he shook his head. When the two of you lifted your mugs, your eyes met for just a moment, and the smile you shared with your best friend might have been enough to heal your heart. 

Then, you took a sip of the coffee, and the moment the dark liquid hit your tongue, you had to fight the cringe, and pretend that the way he burnt this batch didn’t break your heart all over again.

“That’s…” you begin, searching for the words. You coughed instead of finishing your sentence.

Akaashi simply sighed. He reached a hand in his pocket, and pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” you asked, watching him slowly slide his fingers up and down the screen. 

He gives you a pointed look. “What’s it look like? I’m getting breakfast delivered.”

The sun looked just about ready to set by the time you and Akaashi decided to settle down. Empty take out boxes were piled in the proper compartments of the trash bin, and neither of you have bothered to clean up the crumbs all over the table. 

Breakfast had passed by silently, the both of you just content to be in each other’s presence, still sniffling as you shoved entire forkfuls of souffle pancakes from your favorite bakery. You shrieked with delight when you recognized the logo on the bag Akaashi retrieved from the delivery man. You didn’t even scold him for the insane delivery fee he probably had to pay for them to bring it all the way here. 

You just crushed him in a tight hug and accepted his kindness with a kiss on the cheek. He sighed in the way you imagined an older brother would about his annoying little sister, despite you being an entire year older. It made you chuckle, especially when he let you break his very strict “no eating in the living room” rule. 

If Akaashi had any questions or concerns about the events that transpired last night, he mercifully kept them all to himself. After breakfast, he dug out the kotatsu blanket from the storage closet, and – after screeching to Akaashi that he was banned from making any beverages for at least a month – you brewed some of his favorite green tea.

You laid under that kotatsu with Akaashi for hours, sipping on tea that had long turned lukewarm, talking about things that were of neither importance or relevance. You wasted away the entire day, it seemed, if the setting sun and ombre skies out the windows were of any indication. 

Akaashi sat across from you, his back leaning against the foot of the couch. The kotatsu blanket reached up to his waist, and his head lolled lazily to the side as he scrolled mindlessly through his phone. You’d long thrown propriety out the window, though it never is in the room when you’re with Akaashi. You managed to snuggle yourself completely under the kotatsu table, the blanket skirt covering your body while using your seat cushion as a pillow. 

Akaashi had gone through tremendous effort to make this day feel as casual as last week’s Sunday morning. You had a niggling feeling that if you let him, then Akaashi would be very content in keeping you inside this bubble of safety and comfort that he’s curated specifically for you. He’d keep the problems that were waiting past these four walls at bay for as long as he possibly could. This, you knew without a shred of doubt. 

It was a kindness that you held closely to your heart. One that you knew was the type of kindness that didn’t boast, but wrapped itself around you gently and held you against its chest. The longer you looked at Akaashi, rubbing his finger against his nose and eyes glued to the screen, the more your heart swelled with that affection he generously poured into your cup. 

And you knew that because he’s loved you enough to create this bubble, you had to love him enough to pop yourself both out of it. 

“Keiji,” your voice felt hoarse from the silence, the words scratching at your throat, “Was I really that blind?”

Akaashi stilled almost imperceptibly, if you hadn’t known him for years, you probably would have missed it. He clicks the button on the side of his phone, and he gently places the black device on the table. He shuffles to move his seat cushion from beneath him and tosses it to the side, settling himself beneath the blanket before laying down to face you. 

“You weren’t blind, y/n.”

He said it so gently, probably worried that if he spoke any louder, then you would shatter. It softens your heart as much as it sends a spike of irritation through you.

“Dumb, then? Oblivious? Stupid? Naive? Either way you spin it, it still comes down to my faults, my…” your voice cracks, the traitorous thing, and you stopped to clear your throat, “What word would you use, then, Keiji?”

“Young. Afraid. Hurt,” He says with a lot more force and clarity than you expected, each word striking directly into your heart, “A whole lot of other words before stupid, actually. An entire dictionary’s worth.”

You wanted to wipe that look off his face, really. Eyes misting his usual blue to a foggy gray, and failing to stop his wretched mouth from quivering. How many more people in your life were you going to hurt? You felt pathetic.

You stay silent for a moment before starting, “Bokuto… he must have also been in a lot of pain,” you sighed, turning to supine and training your eyes to the popcorned ceiling, “Everything’s so… fucked up. And it’s all because of me and my stupid ignorance and –”

“Please, stop saying that,” Akaashi groaned loudly, balling a fist into his own hair. 

Exasperation floods through you like a tidal wave, it crashes through you viciously and your body shoots itself up into a sitting position before you could even think. You couldn’t hold back the glare at Akaashi before asking him with a bite, “Well, what do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know,” Akaashi answers with a growl, maneuvering himself up to face you, his fists landing helplessly on the table, “but please, stop saying stuff like that, not when–” Akaashi sighed, bring two fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I knew about everything for… a long time.”

You shrugged carelessly as you replied, “Well, yeah. I know I never actually told you, but I thought you figured it out after… the equipment room incident.”

Akaashi pursed his lips together. “Oh, I did. But I wasn’t talking about just you.”

Your eyebrows lifted, opting to stay silent. Akaashi nibbled at his bottom lip in hesitancy, allowing him the time to process through whatever he clearly wanted to say. You brace yourself when you see him taking a slow, deep breath.

“With you, it was… so fucking obvious. And it wasn’t just because you followed him around, or laughed obnoxiously loud at his dumb jokes. If anybody looked at you for longer than five seconds, they’d see it on your face – clear as day. You looked at him like… I don’t know. Like he made all the flowers bloom, or painted the sunset with your favorite colors or something poetic like that.”

“That sounded pretty poetic to me,” you laugh, though it sounded hollow and despondent in its attempt to hide the gut punch Akaashi’s words delivered. Akaashi smiled ruefully, but he continued. 

“My point is – you never had to tell me. I knew it. You knew it. We all knew it. Your feelings were never the big secret you thought it was. Bokuto might have been the only person in this world that never picked up on it. And actually, there was a point in time when I genuinely thought he was ignoring them on purpose. Fuck, maybe he did. I never really figured it out. I don’t really think he ever did either. Because with Bokuto…”

Akaashi took the deep breath you’ve been holding the entire time he spoke, and he looked directly at you this time as he spoke.

“I knew he loved you. He loved you, maybe a bit more than he knew what to do with. God, if you only saw how he’d glare at any guy that tried to even look at you. They were ridiculous – hilariously vicious. He always did it behind your back, but it was about as subtle as a flashing neon sign. I don’t know how you never caught him.You followed him around, sure, but he made sure he kept you by his side, never letting you stray too far from him. Because if you weren’t next to him, then he was… lost. It’s stupid but– yeah, I think I knew he loved you, even before he knew it himself. And I could have told him. Should have told him. It would have been easy, quick – ‘Bokuto, Y/N is in love with you’. And he would have gone running. Well, nevermind. It might have taken him a couple days, but when it hit him… I don’t think anything in the world could have stopped him.”

Silver streaks on Akaashi’s face matched the warm tears that trickled down your own, and you tried to catch his gaze but at this point, he stared fixedly down at his lap. 

“Keiji…” you called out to him, somehow wrangling his name through the tightness of your throat, because you need him to look at you. Needed him to see that you didn’t blame him, would never even think to. But he doesn’t meet your eyes. Instead, he barrels on. 

“But I didn’t. Obviously. I kept my mouth shut, and just watched you two bumble around like idiots. It was, believe it or not, torturous for me. For the longest time, I kept my nose out of your business, because I know what it’s like to… Ahh,” He bows his head, and covers his eyes with the palm of his hand. It took a moment before he wiped his hand away and continued, “I did try once, though. With you. And I felt so completely iced out afterwards, I remembered exactly why I kept out of it for so long.”

He must have sensed the rebuttal at the tip of your tongue, but he interrupts you before you could even start.

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I’m telling you this because… I was afraid too. I was scared that if I had kept pushing, then you would have pulled away from me completely. I was scared that Bokuto would think I was overstepping my boundaries. I was scared that it would work out, and the two of you would phase me out of your lives. I was scared it wouldn’t work out, and everything would be…”

His voice trailed off, so you softly finished for him, “Fucked up?”

He finally, finally looked at you then. You reached across the table and held his hand in yours. You felt him stiffen for a second before turning his hand and curling his own fingers around yours. A giggle of relief spills from your lips, and it elicits a chuckle from Akaashi, and the sound blooms within you.

“You guys are my best friends,” Akaashi said, his grip on you tightening just a fraction, “And I saw what you were putting each other through. I was watching it all happen in front of my own eyes. I should have done something more, right? If I had tried harder with you, if I just talked to Bokuto, if I bothered even just a little bit more to get over my shit and helped my friends…  Then this never would have happened. And Kuroo… God, Kuroo. He didn’t need me to do a damn thing, he just loved you but still I managed to fuck things up for him and –”

“Shut up!”

Akaashi started a little at your sudden outburst, but it achieved the desired effect. He blinked at you once, then twice. You almost felt a twinge of guilt at your lack of patience, considering all that Akaashi was beginning to unpack in front of you. But weren’t you the one that called dibs on the mental breakdown today? If he thought you were just going to sit there and listen to his blasphemy, then he’s sorely mistaken.

“Don’t you even try to blame any of it on yourself, Keiji,” you spat out, irritated, “How could you even say something so convoluted? How could you even think such a –”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Akaashi interrupts you fervently, as if desperate to get you to listen to him, “I let my fears hold me back, instead of facing it for the people that mattered to me. I’m just a coward.”

“No, Keiji. You’re not a coward. You…” You let out a heavy breath, all the sharpness in your tone now softening at Akaashi’s deep set frown, “Do you even have any idea how much you saved me? Even though things were… unspoken between us, I knew you understood me. Without me ever having to say a single word, you understood me. And you never judged me or tried to tell me I was wrong. You just… you just held my hand. No matter what happened, good or bad, if I looked to my side, I knew I would see you there. Do you think you’re the only person that notices the little things? I felt your support, and I felt your love. Even when you didn’t say it out loud.”

“But–”

“No more buts, I really don’t want to hear it. You weren’t the one responsible for us,” your eyes were hard, providing no room for arguments, “You were just a kid. What could you have even done? You saw how stubborn I was being! Do you really think I would have listened? You were young, and afraid, and didn’t know any –”

Too late. The words flew out of your mouth quickly, you didn’t even think twice about it. Your guard was down, and you knew that was the most dangerous thing around Akaashi Keiji. Because too slowly did you realize the trap he laid out in front of you. And as the words slipped past your lips, you realized you were already too late. Akaashi was already looking at you with that smug grin.

“It’s not the same, and you know it.”

“No, it’s not,” He chuckled at you as if you weren’t staring daggers at his soul right now, “But if you can afford me that much grace, then I think you owe the same to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You won’t meet a single person that doesn’t have any regrets. But you can’t let those feelings define you. Only improve you. I know you’re feeling… a lot of shit right now that I probably can’t even begin to process. But it’s what you do with those feelings that matter.” He propped an elbow on the table, and rested his chin in the palm of his halls. “Are you gonna let it keep you down?”

You felt a little stunned, and though Akaashi’s words were simple, you could feel them find their mark. Hot tears pricked at the corner of your eyes yet again, and you didn’t look away from Akaashi as you let them fall. Still, you crossed your arms indignantly and pouted. “I can’t help but feel like I fell for some dirty trick.”

Akaashi laughed this time, waving his hand to beckon you closer to him. You begrudgingly moved from your spot, ignoring the ache in all your joints from your lack of movement, and crawled to sit beside Akaashi. He lifted the kotatsu skirt for you to settle under before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Dirty trick or not, as long as it gets the point across.”

“I understand, Keiji. I do, but still,” you sighed, leaning your head against his shoulder, “It’s difficult not to feel foolish.”

“I know,” Akaashi said as he laid his cheek against your crown, “I know. Fools in love, right?”

You didn’t know what to say, so you chose not to say anything. The lull in conversation allowed you the time to process his words, closing your eyes to feel everything you’d been avoiding the entire day. With a deep inhale, and a slow exhale, you silently search for the strength to let it all go. 

A buzz on the table catches your attention. Akaashi makes a point to ignore the notification, even more so when it buzzes again. 

The sight of his phone only served to remind you of your own, sitting dead and silent somewhere in the corner of your room for the entire day, of the calls that went straight to voicemail, of the messages that are unanswered – of the two men on the other side of line, waiting to see which way their world is about turn. 

“Have you heard from…” 

Akaashi lets out a snort through his nose. “Oh, yes, I have. I’m probably dead for ignoring all the calls and texts. But I needed to make sure you were alright before I answered anything.”

You chuckle, moving out of Akaashi’s one-armed embrace and sitting up to face him fully. “I love you, Keiji. I’d pick you if you were in love with me too, you know. What do you say? Wanna throw a towel in the ring?”

Akaashi laughed, loud and brash and genuine, and for the first time that day, you actually believed that everything will be alright. “I love you too, y/n. But I’d rather die.”

You nudged him hard with your elbow before standing up, leaving Akaashi to rub the sore spot while you stretched out your sore limbs. “I guess it’s time to stop hiding now, right?”

“Yeah…” Akaashi trails off, and you wait for him to ask the question you could see had been brewing in his mind for hours, “What are you gonna do?”

The question shoots a pang of loneliness through you. Because no matter what decision you make, everything will change. Your friendships will not walk away unscathed, and there will never be going back to the way things were. This was irrefutable, and that thought alone should terrify you, should make you want to scramble back on your knees and beg the gods to turn back time. Yet, it doesn’t. 

No, instead you’re filled with a sense of clarity that you’re not sure you’ve ever felt before. It pained you to know that you’ll hurt the people that matter to you the most, but not as much as it would pain you to know that you weren’t being true to yourself. 

It was time for you to choose your own happiness.

“Nothing’s changed for me, Keiji. I’ve always known what I was gonna do. Whether this truth came out or stayed hidden forever… my answer is going to be the same.” You smiled sadly as you spoke to Akaashi, and he offered nothing but an understanding nod, “From now on, for me, it’s always going to be him.”

✧: @kawaii-angelanne @boosyboo9206 @theglitterypages @rntrsuna @vinsmouke @chi-anpan @jinadamsel @kowalsqq @arcorjoan @galaxyfloater3

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#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x you #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x female reader #bokuto x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #hq kuroo #hq bokuto #kuroo fic #bokuto fic #akaashi keiji #kuroo tetsuro #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x you

[bekaroth-reads]

Lucas Baker x Reader- Jealous

[This is an answer to an ask. Tumblr is being a ding-dong, so I had to post it on it's own post.]

There were many things that the world thought were basically impossible. One of them was getting Lucas to leave the Baker’s property. His parents were always thankful when you did finally manage to do so as even though they loved you to bits and loved having you around, they were also very worried about their son’s social skills, friend making skills, manners, dressing habits…

Well, to be honest they were worried about a lot pf things concerning Lucas, but they knew that you were helping him come out of his shell a bit.

Chloe was happy when you got him to leave for once because even though she loved having you around and loved Lucas as much as any siblings could care for each other, the two of them would often fight like cats and dogs. So, it was nice to get a break from him every so often.

To be honest it wasn’t like you both were really out for the night or anything. Jack needed something from the store in town and you had gotten Lucas to go with you. Well, to be honest, you volunteered to run to the store and Marguerite hit him with a rolled up newspaper until he agreed to go along with you.

No matter how many times you tried to tell Lucas that people didn’t hate him, he still had himself convinced that there was always someone who would start something with him. Usually, he would just go quiet because he knew that if he tried to say something he’d say something stupid and start a fight.

Speaking of which, you heard him groan.

“Aw, shit! It’s Jessica!” Luaus grumbled under his breath.

“And, who’s Jessica?” You asked as you looked over to see the woman in question.

“Someone from school.” He answered side-eyed the direction she was standing.

“Lucas, you went to university online. How do you know people from the campus?” You asked, genuinely wanting to know if he had taken the initiative to go to more things on his own.

“Wha? Naw, high school.” He corrected.

You gave him a frustrated look and he gave you a dramatic shrug.

“Lucas that was, like, TEN year ago! You’ve gotta move on man.” You scoffed.

“The hell I do!” He snapped back, trying to stay in a whisper.

“What’d she do? Bully you?”

“Yeah! Every time we had an event in robotics club she would take the orange coke before I could!” He growled.

You rolled your eyes. Though you always wanted to be on Lucas’ side and wanted him to know that, there were also times where you did have to point out when he was being ridiculous.

“Okay, so did you ever think she grabbed the orange because it was also her favorite? And she just got there first while you were probably hunched in the corner like the gargoyle you are.”

“Hey!” He snort as he tried to hold back a laugh while playfully punching your arm.

This seemed to be the thing that got his old classmate to look over, and when she did her face immediately lit up.

“Oh, my gawd! Hiiiiiii!” She almost sang as she started to walk over to the two of you past the end of the row that was blocking her from your view.

When you saw her clearly you got excited as well. “There’s no way!” You exclaimed.

“Wha’th’fuck?!” Lucas hissed to himself as he looked between Jessica and yourself as you gave each other a hug and talk about something too quickly for him to understand.

He finally got back into the loop when Jessica looked over to him and smiled. “I didn’t know you knew Lucas Baker! Hi, Lucas! How’ve you been?”

Lucas grunted, shrugged, and did everything he could not to make eye contact. To make sure that she didn’t have time to process him blowing her off, you jumped back in.

“Yeah! Actually, we’re dating.” You explained as you leaned onto him. Lucas was never good at handling any form of PDA, so he had to quickly pull up his hood to hide his face before she could see how red his face was getting.

Jessica clasped her hands together and squealed like she had just seen the cutest thing in the world. “Aw! I’m glad to hear that! You two seem like you’d be so cute together! How long have you been a thing?”

You snickered a bit at her enthusiasm and replied, “Oh, since about a month or so after you and me ended things.”

When you said that you felt Lucas’ posture change from annoyed to uncomfortable before you could look at him he wrapped an arm around the bottom of your waist as subtly as he could. It wasn’t as subtly as he thought that it was, of course, but he was trying.

“Wow! So that’s been a bit then. You still workin’ on the science stuff, Lucas?” She was still trying to include him as much as she could.

“Sure.” He grumbled. You tapped his foot with yours as a warning to behave.

“Yeah, he’s helping his dad with things here and there around their place while he’s looking for a more permanent thing. You know, fixing the equipment and all that.” You answered for him.

“That sounds perfect for him! I’m sure he’ll get a great job soon. He was also so smart!” There wasn’t a lick of sarcasm in her voice, but it seemed Lucas thought otherwise.

“Gonna go finish stuff.” He grumbled before taking the cart and walking away without so much as another look at Jessica.

You groaned and offered an apologetic, “I am so sorry about that.”

“Don’t you worry about it!” She laughed off the situation quickly. “Lucas was always the quiet sort. I think that’s the most words I’ve ever heard from him.”

Her phone started to buzz in her pocket. “Oh, better take that. But, hey! It was nice to see you! Let’s get in touch again sometime!”

“Sure thing. Bye!” You waved as you went to go find where Lucas had sulked off to.

The rest of the time in the store and all the way to the car Lucas there wasn’t a single peep from Lucas, which was odd. For as quiet as he could be with other people, he usually talked your ear off. About five minutes into the trip back to the Bakers’ place, you heard him snark from where he was leaning his head on the passenger-side window, “He was always sooooo smart,” in a mock of Jessica’s voice.

“Lucas Baker,” you scold, but gently.

“What?” He asked like he was getting called out for something he didn’t do, his voice still laced with a sour tone.

You sighed and turned down a side road. This made Lucas perk up a little, and look over at you confused.

“This ain’t the way back to the house. ‘S jus a dead end.”

“Yeah, and we’re going to sit here until you tell me what your problem is.” You said as you cut the engine. “It’s something to do with Jessica, isn’t it?”

The snort that he gave in response let you know you were right on the money. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. School was ten years ago ‘r somethin’. I can get over sharin’ some snacks.” He dismissed the subject quickly, hoping that you would leave it at that.

You put your hand on his. “That’s not what I’m taking about. I’ve told you that I moved to the area a few years back because of someone I was dating at the time.”

“Yup, and when ya broke up it was on good terms, so ya stayed roommates for awhile ‘til ya got yer own place.” He finished the story, his drawl getting thicker with every second- a sure sign that he was agitated.

“How was I supposed to know it was someone you knew? I would have told you if I knew. And, absolutely if I knew that it would bother you so much.” You kept your hand on his. While you wanted to be sure that he knew you were being sincere, you were keeping in mind that he struggled with these sorts of emotions. There was little to no chance he’d be able to look at you during this conversation; he went back to looking out the car window pretty quickly.

“It ain’t that!” His voice started to raise, but he caught himself. “It’s jus that, she was always so damn cheery, an’ knew how ta talk ta people, an’ ya looked so happy when you’er talkin’ to her.” He kept rambling, and while you were trying to keep listening, you were certain what the problem was.

“Lucas.” You cooed as you unbuckled your seat belt and leaned over to rest your hand on the side of his face to get his attention. “I love you.”

Lucas snorted again and tried to wiggle away from you. “Aw, don’t get all sappy on me!” He rolled his eyes and moved your hand away, you were quick to counter it.

“I mean it. And, I can’t think of a thing that will change that.”

All he did after you said this was turn and look at you with an unreadable look on his face. After a minute of him staring and you trying to figure out what he was thinking, he unbuckled his seatbelt, slid his seat back, and leaned it a bit just enough so that he wasn’t completely sitting straight. You had thought he was going to act like he was taking a nap to ignore you, but then he gave you an expectant look and instructed, “Well, get over here.”

Even in the cramped space of the car it wasn’t difficult to get next to him over on his seat because he was so skinny that he never really took up much room. Lucas wrapped an arm around you and rolled you over so you were leaning on him even more than you already were. There wasn’t anything said between the two of you for a while. Things were as still as Lucas could stand to be; even then all he would do was fidget for a few moments until he was comfortable again.

“This is nice.” You sighed. Lucas hummed in agreement.

“We should do this more often.” And, once again Lucas agreed.

There was another little spell of quiet and his hold on you tightened.

“Sorry ‘bout bein’ a bastard. I know you’d never leave me.” You were surprised that he was the one to verbally say what the problem was. But, more importantly, you were glad the feeling seemed to have passed.

Lucas snorted out a short laugh, “To be honest, I was expectin’ you to be a smart ass about this whole thing."

You smiled. It was sweet... Too sweet. Lucas went on high alert. His suspicion was confirmed when you moved to grab something from one of the smaller bags from the store that you had sat in the backseat.

"Christ! Yer fuckin' knees!" He gave a melodramatic whine when they pressed into his legs as you tried to reach the bag you were looking for.

"This is for you." You teased in a sing-song as you handed him an orange soda that you had sneaked into the order when he wasn't looking.

Lucas' jaw slacker slightly at the joke. He shook it off and got a dangerously playful grin as he took the drink, put it in the cupholder, and in a blink of an eye had you pinned under him on the seat.

"Damn straight, it is!" He bragged triumphantly. "An', so is this pretty, lil' thing right 'ere." He chuckle and kissed you.

#lucas baker x reader #re7 lucas baker x reader #re7 lucas x reader #lucas baker #re7 lucas baker #re7 lucas

[enihk-writes]

[日久见人心]

characters: present!chung myung + afab!she/her!reader

baek cheon x afab!she/her!reader (implied and one-sided from the reader's end because they are not the main plot point for this fic lol)

summary: old habits die hard, even when you are born in a new body. to his credit, he does try not to seem like he is the reincarnation of the plum blossom sword saint, but his subconscious actions said otherwise. he didn't think you of all people would notice.

word count: 3.85k

author's note: the phrase 日久见人心 (rì jiǔ jiàn rén xīn) is part of the full saying 路遥知马力，日久见人心 (lù yáo zhī mǎ lì, rì jiǔ jiàn rén xīn) and i vaguely remember it was something my mother tongue teacher back in secondary said we could use in our composition essays or whatever,,,, and recently i saw it on those cringey rise-and-grind motivational crypto bro ig pages my ex-classmates are reposting on their stories which kinda gave me an idea lmao.... anyways the meaning of the quote is that we need to take time to understand a person's character (also the fic is the result of my caffeine overconsumption lol and not related to my previous cmxreader because i needed a break from all that angst romance i've been writing wwwwwwww)

═══════════════

chung myung has been starting to think that you were cut out from the same cloth as yu iseol.

quiet, aloof and always watching.

if someone said that you both were twins, he wouldn't be surprised. but then again, there were differences. the most obvious one was that iseol had more talent with the blade than you did, and the other was that iseol had no talent in actually taking care of herself. you were barely managing, but compared to your senior sister? it was far more decent. the two of you had tang soso to thank for not dying as fast as you could have.

chung myung. bowl.

he looks up to see your hand outstretched, waiting to pick up the empty bowl he'd cleaned off long ago. chung myung grunts and hands it over, propping his arm up and resting his head on it as he watched you go around the dining hall to collect the dinnerware.

you lived in mount hua, sure, but you weren't the fighting sort. maybe because anything you did could get you sick — if the weather dropped or rose a little too quickly, your body would tremble and shiver. did you move a little too much today? did you happen to sleep later than you were supposed to that night? by the next morning you were down with a terrible fever that kept you in your room for the rest of the day. but now that tang soso was here, she would drag you down to the medicine hall, grumbling under her breath, all while you looked at her teary-eyed and apologetic.

maybe it was out of shame or embarrassment that made you try to be yourself useful in other ways, though you would often fail and cause more trouble. everyone would just sigh and pick up after your mess, ushering you out to do something else.

during those days, he'd find you hunched behind the baths, sobbing in frustration. chung myung didn't know what to do or say, he'd always talked more with his fist before his heart, so he'd end up hiding in the trees to watch over you instead. and once you've cried it all out, you would stand, wash your face and go to bed. trying something else tomorrow.

chung myung gives credit where credit was due. for a sickly kid, you sure had a thicker skin than the others.

eventually, you stuck with being the cleaner. your weird, meticulous habits somehow working well in this job. the cups and plates were wiped till it shone, silverware were polished until you could see your own face and that hard-to-scrub dirt on the grout would be pristine and white when left in your hands. chung myung wonders secretly if maybe you'd picked this talent up from that neat freak baek cheon.

what are you thinking about?

he almost hits you out of instinct. you really were cut from the same cloth as yu iseol.

he lets out a shaky breath as he turns to face you, who had been sitting behind him. you look at him owlishly and he would have thought you weren't breathing if not for the movement of your nostrils. crossing his leg over the other, he juts his chin at you in acknowledgement.

what is it?

you're quieter, and thinking a lot more than normal today.

ah... this kid... how does everything that comes out of that mouth sound like an insult? chung myung tries to reign in his short temper, he didn't want to hit a frail person for no reason, and he knows that you just happen to always talk like that.

hm. i was thinking about you.

woah. pervert.

ah... maybe he should hit your head just once. just once and he'll never hit you again.

i'm kidding.

really? were you now?

i'm really kidding, don't go and look like you're going hit me like you do with our senior brothers.

okay, you were off the hook. for now.

hmph. you shouldn't tease your elders.

what elder.

chung myung forgets that you were the same age as him. well, in this body, not spiritually. but if he were to talk about life experience and reincarnation, he was the older one but fuck! you didn't know that! he didn't tell anyone he was the plum blossom sword saint ugh!

chung myung, are you going to have an aneurysm?

shut up!

═══════════════

winter in mount hua was really cold. and chung myung, surprisingly, didn't do so well with the cold. though, he would rather die than let anyone ever find out about that.

he wakes up early to train as usual, but the cold this morning was so biting, he was tempted to just stay in bed, it wasn't easy being an old man. ah, but the other disciples would be celebrating if he didn't appear for morning practice and that was no good. after all, the future of the sect still depended on him, didn't it?

he got dressed and stepped out of his room —

chung myung.

fuck! couldn't you talk to people like a normal person? why do you love to sneak up on people like this? cheong mun sa-hyung please, please, please give him patience and strength.

you look cold.

he was! great observation! chung myung wants to yell that to you with gritted teeth. he was still, unfortunately, very unnerved by how he couldn't feel your presence.

follow me. i have something for you.

you didn't wait for him to reply, instead grabbing his hand as you dragged him to the kitchen. he didn't try to resist, letting you pull him wherever, like a parent going to see what their child just found.

the two of you walk across the training grounds that had been buried under a blanket of pristine snow, the dim light of your paper lantern showing you the way. treading past and leaving two sets of footprints behind.

you push him into the kitchen, hanging the lantern up on a hook in the wall. chung myung notices the fire in the stone stove, you had already started it before going out to find him, probably because you were boiling something in that pot standing over the fire. chung myung sits on the ground, huddling before the blaze, it felt warm and comforting in the kitchen. the sound of water boiling in the pot and the crackling of the charred wood its heat blowing across his frigid face was, unsurprisingly, giving him a boost of energy.

you carefully move the pot to the side, removing the lid to check the contents in it. looking pleased with the result, you take out a bowl still steaming into your hands and placed it on the ground between you and chung myung as quickly as you could.

he looks over curiously. it looked like some kind of pudding, he doesn't think he's seen it before —

it's milk pudding, with lotus seeds and almonds

oh? he pondered, eyeing the bowl as you handed him a spoon.

aren't these ingredients used to make mooncakes?

chung myung asks, folding his arms. he notices that you were avoiding his gaze. don't tell him you...?

did you steal these from the warehouse?

hey! steal is a strong word!

oh i'm sorry, your highness, did you perhaps take the ingredients from the fucking warehouse?

he scoffed mockingly, exaggerating his manner of speech in mild irritation. he laughed at your grimace and pouty expression. ah, he feels like he's making fun of a toddler, he should be ashamed for bullying a kid at his age.

hm, he hasn't done something this juvenile in a long time. it was oddly nostalgic, in a way. he mused, digging into the soft and smooth surface of the pudding with the spoon, trying to scoop up the lotus seeds and almonds in it too.

mmh. 's not bad.

wow, i didn't know you knew how to compliment people

should i take that back then?

i'm sorry.

═══════════════

you had been working hard in cleaning the floors for spring cleaning. but the boys were so heavy-footed and honestly far too uninterested in their surroundings that the well-polished wooden floorboards you were really proud of was always dusty.

should you just barricade the entrance of the dorms until nightfall? just so they wouldn't walk all over your hard work?

you sit on the steps, your hair tied into a scarf, head resting on the propped broom you held between your legs. thinking long and hard over your predicament while looking over at the training grounds where chung myung was drilling down on everyone else.

the sun hung high in the cloudless afternoon sky, its rays casting down on the compound harshly. you were beginning to feel dizzy and closed your eyes, hoping to relieve the pain growing in your head.

you didn't hear anything outside the constant ringing in your ears, so one can only imagine your surprise when the reddish tint you saw while your eyes were closed grew dark.

who?

you cracked open your eyes to try and make out the person standing before you, wincing when the bright light nearly blinded you.

a familiar chuckle graced your ears as the ringing grew quiet. ah, it was senior baek cheon.

he taps the bamboo flask against your forehead, the water in it swishing against the walls. you take it, grateful, chugging down the contents, choking on it a little when a few drops went down the wrong pipe.

hey, hey... slow down... no one's going to take it away from you...

you cough, turning away in embarrassment. baek cheon sits down next to you on the steps, watching your antics in quiet amusement. you didn't want to look at him, not when he was practically topless, with his hair tied up high and swept over his shoulder.

chung myung looks at the scene from afar, not really clocking anything in his mind until he sees the way you were trying to scoot a little further away like a snail touching salt and your hands covering up your cheeks.

oh.

oh?

so you and baek cheon huh?

chung myung feels the cogs in his brain turn. at times like these he wishes he had someone to talk about this with, maybe tang bo. he would have loved to hear about petty gossip like this, and they could have teased the kids like the old men they were.

so you think something is going on between her and baek cheon sasuk too, huh?

jo-gul's voice comes up from behind, and chung myung didn't need to look over to see the guy's eyes trained on his targets.

if you have so much free time to discuss other people's love lives, i think we can continue with our training right, sahyungs?

chung myung called out loudly for everyone to hear.

jo-gul you fucking bastard!

you and your big mouth...

ugh... i can't get up...

the poor guy could only hang his head in quiet embarrassment. baek cheon laughed at the antics of the others, getting up to walk back to the training grounds. but not before he reached out to tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear.

if you're going to rest, do it in the shade. i don't think you want to fall ill again tomorrow, do you?

he asks, and you shake your head in response.

mmh. i'll see you around?

see you...

you wave meekly as he left, your insides going through an entire acrobatics routine. wondering what that short exchange was all about. it couldn't be that he liked you back? or did he catch onto your growing crush? you wanted to throw yourself off the cliff.

═══════════════

i didn't take you for a guy that had habits like this.

chung myung gulped down the last of the warm water in his cup, setting it down on the counter, and looked at you quizzically. your elbows were propped up over the edge of the counter and you were perched on the stool in a rather un-ladylike manner.

it's good for your health you know.

psh... isn't that an old wives tale?

he scoffs and shakes his head.

haah...

he sighs.

the young people these days.

you look at him, head tilted in confusion. humming for a bit, you let your thoughts simmer before you decided to pose the question.

hey, why'd you speak like that?

chung myung pauses.

like what?

you know... like an old man?

he sucks in a quick breath. there was no way you of all people would have figured it out, right?

he felt like he was spiralling into a bit of a panic.

hey.

you snap your fingers in his face, moving to stand beside him while he was deep in thought.

earth to chung myung?

he looks at you.

he takes a good look at you.

you were not the brightest bulb in the bush, or however that saying goes, at least when compared to him. there was no way you connected the dots and figured out he was the plum blossom sword saint. yeah, this was for sure a case of the right formula and the wrong answer.

he had to divert your thoughts before you start to think deeper.

i think i hear baek cheon sasuk coming over.

huh?

it was your turn to panic a little, and he darts out of the kitchen to escape what would have been your incoming torrent of scrutiny. you realise just then that you had been completely bamboozled by the bastard chung myung.

running to the door, you yell out a string of curses at the run-away instigator. ah, your blood pressure...

═══════════════

you think chung myung might have been raised by old people. because there was no other plausible reason that he acts the way he does.

sometimes he walks with his hands behind his back, and while most people your age would stand straight and position their arms in a stiff way, chung myung puts his hands on his lower back — like he was supporting it. you know who else does this? the sect leader and the other elders. and it doesn't help his case that he was always slouching a little.

another thing you notice was how his taste in food was a few notches blander than the rest of you. he wasn't fond of anything too salty or sour or anything undercooked. he'd always pick out the softest parts of any cooked meat, saying it was the juiciest, which was somewhat believable. but then wasn't it also nearest to where the animals organs used to be before it was gutted? wouldn't it taste bitter?

speaking of bitter, chung myung liked to eat food that made you squeamish. he'd nag at the nutritional value of them and when nobody wanted to try it out, he'd mumble something about kids these days not knowing what's good for them and scarf it down by himself.

that was another thing about him, why was he always calling you a kid when you were the same age as him? it wasn't that big of a deal for you. but calling the other seniors kids? you wondered if it was his way of showing his martial superiority in a twisted way, or if it was another underlying reason.

surely, it must be because he was raised by the elderly.

god, you were so smart, weren't you? connecting the dots like that?

═══════════════

chung myung was sure you were dropped on the head as an infant.

you had cornered him in the toilets. broke down and the door and everything, just to ask him who he was raised by. it was ridiculous, the scene that was folding out right then and he chooses to ignore that your weak body had somehow broken down a fucking wooden door. he has to ignore that, for his own sanity.

you were on the walls, hands clawing and feet digging on the rough surface. chung myung shirks away, exasperated. somewhere in the afterlife, he thinks he could hear the loud cackle of his friends at his predicament.

chung myung.

he tries to evade eye contact.

chung myung.

oh man, look at that spider on the ceiling spinning a web.

hey where are you looking? i'm over here.

he finally looks at you turning his head slowly.

uh... i think... you might be a bit too close...

a bit too close was a forgiving statement. your head had craned forward far enough that your face was almost less than a centimetre away from his.

you lean back at his reply. still not keeping your eyes off him. after all, he still hadn't answered your question.

you know that i'm an orphan... right?

yeah. so am i.

i wasn't raised by anybody...

oh.

you step back, pondering for a moment. chung myung feels the breath he was holding leave his lungs. you caused him so much anxiety. remember when he thought you were cut from the same cloth as yu iseol? he stands corrected, but you were insane in the opposite direction.

okay. so who raised you?

chung myung feels his eye twitch. why were you asking the same thing? he already told you!

i'm telling you—!

nuh-uh. that's not what i want to know. i want to know if you grew up with old people.

then you should have asked that from the beginning!

i panicked, okay?

he sighs, deeply, and covers his face in his hands. he feels his miraculous second life leaving his body at this exchange.

to answer your question. no, i didn't.

huh. i see.

you answer simply.

chung myung peeks at you through his fingers, surprised at your unusual silence. you, on the other hand, had grown more confused by his answer. if he hadn't been raised by the elderly, then how would anybody act the way he did? not to mention, he had knowledge of niche historical facts that nobody other than a person living in that time would have known of.

can i go now?

huh? oh yeah... sure...? oh! wait—!

you had answered too absentmindedly! you weren't done questioning him! shit! the slippery bastard had gotten away!

you jog out the door, only to bump into someone when turning a corner. a pair of arms catch you from falling. looking up you were met with baek cheon's worried gaze, which morphed into confusion when he realized at the same time as you did that you had ran out of the boys' toilets.

uh... wait... i can explain...

you wondered if a lighting bolt could strike down in broad daylight.

═══════════════

you were sulking in the kitchen.

the guy you had a somewhat infatuation with caught you in an embarrassing moment. you had convinced yourself all chances you had with him were ruined. this was all chung myung's fault. every time you had the slightest inconvenience you would secretly curse him out a little in your heart. you used to feel bad when you still had a working conscience, but not anymore though.

speak of the devil, and he comes walking in.

chung myung came in to ransack the cellar behind the kitchen for wine. he had been craving it for the past few days after his own stash ran out. he had waited for everyone else to be asleep before sneaking in as quietly as he could.

so one can only imagine the shock he felt, even though he swears he had already seen it all, when he finds your shadowy figure sitting crossed-legged on the counter and your two eyes staring right back at him in the darkness.

keugh—!

chung myung bites back a scream. fuck! can he please have one, one. peaceful day where you didn't fuck around with his psyche?

you didn't know he was coming in so soon. but you didn't care much since you had something to give him anyway.

shoving the lacquer box engraved with floral designs into his chest, you motion for him to take a look inside. chung mying complied, hesitantly lifting off the lid to find rows of thin mooncakes, without the egg yolks probably, and another layer under that was filled with a flaky-looking biscuit.

it's called tau sar piah.

he hums, taking the round ball out to inspect it. shrugging, he popped it into his mouth and chews down on the pastry. the flavour, it was familiar. he thinks, was it—?

dried mung bean paste?

you nodded, grinning.

what's this for though?

don't tell me you forgot.

forget? what did he forget?

it's your birthday you goon. well, in a few hours but still.

oh. he had forgotten, momentarily. you really were a good kid, remembering this old man's birthday and making something for him. shit, chung myung thinks he might tear up. was this what it was like to have grandchildren? he thinks he understands why cheong mun sa-hyung might have suggested he take on disciples of his own, or well, trusted him enough to babysit the children of the sect back then. ugh, he was a grandfather after all, and you were somehow his most troublesome child.

he sniffles. closing the lid on the box and grabbing the wine. well, it would be lonely to eat all of this on his own, and waking up the others would be too much of a hassle. suppose you would make do as his drinking buddy tonight. hooking an arm under your knees, he slings you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. the other grabbing the food and drink.

he jumps on the roofs until he brings you to a spot where the moon felt the closest. he drops you on your feet as you balance yourself on the uneven shingles. chung myung plopped down, leg crossed over the other, as he began to down the wine straight from the bottle.

he hands you the lid of the box, picking out the mooncake and biting into it.

wow. tastes kinda ass.

ugh, ungrateful much?

i never said i wouldn't eat it.

can't you just say your appreciation like a normal person?

a pause.

...thank you.

chung myung replied in a softer voice.

hmph. see? that wasn't so hard?

you huffed, teasing him.

chung myung only scoffed and rolled his eyes.

the night drudged on, and you spent the time talking about everything and nothing. things that happened that week, gossip you've heard, events that had happened in the past, antics of the other sect members...

chung myung feels his eyelids grow heavy. was it alright to rest his grieving heart for a while on his birthday? cheong mun sa-hyung and the others' surely wouldn't mind.

and as he feels himself drifting off to sleep, your voice quips up.

hey, do you think i should confess to sasuk?

psh—!

chung myung spits out the wine in his mouth, choking on the liquid that went up and out his nose. it felt as though he was vomiting out blood from that question alone.

you were really his most troublesome kid.

#enihkwrites #return of the mount hua sect #return of the blossoming blade #return of mount hua #cheong myeong #chung myung #rotmhs #rotbb #can yall tell who my favourite hwasan boy is lol #i have another chung myung x reader fic that im currently marinating (angst possibly no comfort) #all i can say is that its a “what if?” scenario where he survives his injuries but chooses not to go back to mount hua #btw my cycle started... i guess that explains all the angst ive been cooking the past few days huh #reader's health issues might have been my self-insert unconsciously djhfsfkjsjklhsadkkkkk #i read scholarly articles for the history of almond imports #this is how i choose to cope with project moon news #im so drained i can't have shit man

[ambrossart]

I have trouble understanding how bullying works in Paper Man. Are the Bowers gang really a bunch of bullies or is that just their reputation?

Vic clearly doesn't like to fight, although he does when he has to, he clearly seems annoyed with all the trouble the gang brings him.

Belch the same, he seems nice and doesn't seem to fight when it's not necessary, he uses his reputation and his scary/imposing build to get people to leave him alone or get what he wants (like the burgers lol), but he doesn't seem like the type to bully (maybe I'm biased by my vision of the character).

Patricio is just carrying around his reputation as a weird guy who kills animals, so he's enjoying it, but is he actively a bully?

For Henry it is another story. We saw it the day he returned, he was ready to attack a freshman because he was dressed differently (Evelyn's legs saved the poor kid that day)

I really love your story, I jump on all the chapters as soon as they come out on Ao3, thank you for your work.

Are they bullies? I guess that depends on who you ask 😂

I think most students, especially the upperclassmen, view them as a nuisance, nothing more. Henry and his friends don't run the school. They're not popular. They have little influence over the greater student body. They're just... there, basically.

For example: Liz Mueller, a senior and the most popular girl in school, didn't even know who Henry Bowers was until she thought about it for a while, and even then he was reduced to: "The kid who always looks like he's gonna stab somebody?" Henry's not even on her radar. That's how insignificant he is.

See, Henry and his gang mostly target the underclassmen and the less popular upperclassmen (like Paul and Lenny, the geeks and the nerds). To these kids, they absolutely are bullies and they make high school really annoying, especially Henry Bowers. When he's in school, all the vulnerable students need to be on high alert. They need to watch what they say, what they do, because anything—anything—can set off Henry's temper. He's been compared to a landmine and I think that's pretty accurate. One wrong move and kiss your ass goodbye, right?

But do students spend their lives cowering in fear of him? No, because they're used to it now. This is their reality. Henry's not going anywhere. Nobody's gonna stand up to him and stop him. So all they can do is adapt and try to survive high school as best as they can. Some have even developed a sense of humor about it. They place bets against each other. They have streak records. It's almost like a game.

Now to answer your question more thoroughly, Paper Men takes place in the 1988-89 school year. The boys are a lot older now (15-17, with Patrick being the oldest), so they're starting to outgrow that schoolyard bully phase of their lives. They're less interested in bullying little kids and more interested in going to parties, drinking, dating, etc. I'll speak about each member specifically below:

— We see this the most with Belch. He's the one who seems to be trying the hardest to move on to the next stage of his life. Right now, he's working really hard to better himself. He's got a job. He has a girlfriend. He's doing everything he can to support his mom. Out of everyone, he's the most sociable (at least with his classmates), but he still slips into old habits occasionally, which is why we often see him stealing students' lunches (sorry, Donny). Basically, if he's not with Henry, Belch is an okay guy—not a saint, but not terrible—and he's very polite to all the girls. His mother would never forgive him if he wasn't.

So, yes, Belch has no interest in being a bully, at least not anymore. It's his loyalty to Henry that keeps him in the gang. Belch feels responsible for him.

— With Vic, I agree that his heart has never been in it. Bullying takes too much energy and he's tired enough as it is. Vic absolutely hates school. It's annoying and exhausting for him. He just wants to get through the day and go home. So is he violent? Not really (although he did punch Lenny Arkins in the kidney once, hard enough to make him piss blood), but he's still far from friendly. Vic is very moody and withdrawn, and he has a razor-sharp tongue. I wouldn't be surprised if some curious girls have learned that the hard way. He still has a lot of secret admirers, though. Next to Patrick, I could see him being the most popular among girls. Just saying.

Anyway, Vic had his reasons for joining the Bowers gang, sure, but we can definitely see his patience wearing thin. He has expressed this several times throughout the story. I think hanging out with Henry used to be fun for him (he speaks fondly about their past in Ch. 12, for example); perhaps it was even a little therapeutic; but now he's feeling incredibly empty and lost. Vic's deeply dissatisfied with how his life has turned out, but he doesn't really know how to change that. He's just... stuck.

— With Patrick, I wouldn't consider him a bully, and he was never really, truly, part of Henry's group either. Yeah, he hangs out with them occasionally, when they're doing something interesting, but never for very long. He just sorta comes and goes as he pleases. He also hangs out with Martin Davers and his group.

Patrick had a nasty reputation because of what he did when he was younger, but now he's mostly known for his flirtatious/lecherous behavior. Patrick prefers it that way. Very much. Right now he's trying really hard to stay under the radar. So unless Henry is doing something deliciously violent (which Patrick would never be able to resist), Patrick prefers to quietly pursue his other hobbies. Bullying little kids doesn't interest him. He has better things to do.

— Lastly with Henry, I think we all know where he stands. He's a bully through and through. He likes to pick on people smaller and weaker than him because it makes him feel powerful. It gives him control. While everyone else is growing up and moving on with their lives, Henry seems to be getting worse. It's getting harder and harder for him to control his anger. Bullying kids isn't enough anymore. Hitting people isn't enough anymore. And I think everyone knows it's only a matter of time before he snaps.

tldr; yes they're technically bullies, especially to the underclassmen, but most of them have started to outgrow this behavior.

#answered asks #thanks for the ask! #bowers gang #henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #it stephen king #it 2017 #it fanfiction #paper men #ambrossart

[woodelf114]

So, what happens when I discover someone who does beautiful au work and writes gorgeous stories on said aus?

My writer brain goes, "gotta write, gotta write, gotta write, gotta write-"

So, this piece here is inspired by @llamagoddessofficial and her new Tilikum story! She's done amazing work, so go check her out! I have a feeling that for now, a lot of my drabbles/works are going to be inspired by her stuff, so sorry not sorry haha.

Anyways, for context, I'm taking a different spin on how MC meets Skull, because I love that big boy so much and he deserves the best. Also, going to be using third person pov with my Horrortale oc Lucy, because I'm not super great at reader insert pov style.

Now, enough chatter, let's roll!!

---

That field trip literally changed her life.

Her 5th-grade class took a field trip to the local aquarium, the world-famous Ebott Aquarium, known for its exotic attractions and colossal size. But the most exciting part of this place was the sirens. Sirens were known for their speed, power, intelligence, and habit of luring humans with their songs before drowning and eating them. They were extremely dangerous.

So, naturally, Ebott Aquarium had the three largest held in captivity.

Lucy trailed along with her classmates as her teacher started pairing them into groups. Somehow, she had been missed. Probably because she wasn't paying attention and slipped under the teacher's radar. She had her iconic leather journal in hand, but she wasn't taking notes on anything the teacher was saying or anything in the aquarium.

If she was being entirely honest, she wanted to leave.

The vast size of the location, plus the extreme business of people bustling around them, set off her social anxiety and sensory overload. Everything was ringing in her ears. Occasionally her small frame trembled as she took deep breaths to soothe her panic.

When it started to become too much, she wandered off from the rest of her group, desperate to find someplace quiet to have a panic attack in peace. So, it wasn't a wonder that when she spotted a dark room with hardly anyone in sight, she made a beeline for it. Relief immediately washed over her as she stepped into the large room. There was a massive tank with an artificial cave put into it. The tank and the room were darkened, and it didn't even look like anything was in the tank.

Maybe this is an empty tank, or they're preparing the space for something else, Lucy thought as she looked around while slipping her small backpack off her back. She stepped over to the glass, peering inside. Nope, nothing here. Must be empty.

She turned and pressed her back to the glass, sliding down to a sitting position and rubbing her temples. She hadn't really considered the implications of getting lost in such a vast place; otherwise, her panic would have increased tenfold. She didn't even know that at that moment, her group was doing a quick headcount and realizing that someone was missing and that the chaperones were rushing to find a staff worker to help find their missing student.

Lucy opened up her journal delicately. The old thing was worn down enough that she feared it would fall apart if she was too harsh with it. She pulled out a pen and started scribbling random thoughts on the blank pages, using the pinkish-red light to see it better-

Hold up. Where is that red light coming from?

Lucy felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle. The red light was originating from behind her, in the tank.

Her heart began to pound, and she tugged nervously on her beanie. She didn't want to turn around or even move, but her instinctive "prey" fear was screaming get out, get out, get out, get out, get out-.

With a shaky breath, Lucy swallowed a lump in her throat, then slowly twisted her neck to look over her shoulder.

A gigantic smiling skull stared back at her, inches away from the glass that separated them.

She released a small gasp, stiffening even more, but she didn't move. The creature had an upper skeletal body that was taller and broader than her and a lower mass of dark, writhing tentacles. The suckers were stuck onto the glass.

A siren.

Lucy let out a tiny breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. She noticed all the scars littering his bones, locking onto the gaping hole on the upper right side of his skull. His left eye socket was empty and dark. The right one, however, had a glowing red orb with a dark circle in the middle, resembling some kind of "eye" that was utterly honed in on her.

When they finally made eye contact, that orb expanded, and the siren tipped his head to the side like a curious dog. The grin widened significantly.

"Woah..." Lucy finally whispered. She turned around fully, now that the initial fear was gone, replaced by awe and wonder. She leaned closer to the glass, putting a hand on the cool, smooth surface to steady herself.

The siren finally broke eye contact briefly to look at her hand, so tiny in comparison to his own face. To her shock and wonder, he lifted his own skeletal hand up and pressed it against the glass where her hand one. His hand was bigger than her own head and absolutely dwarfed her hand in comparison.

He looked back at her, and Lucy could have sworn that his eyelight was sparkling. His grin was impossibly wide, and it might have looked insane to an onlooker.

To Lucy, it was... kind of adorable.

"Hi, big guy," she whispered, even though she knew he couldn't hear her. "What's your name?"

He cocked his head again, his eyelight briefly glancing down at her moving lips before looking back to her eyes. Like he was... trying to read her lips.

Intelligent, indeed.

She finally broke eye contact to glance around. She spotted a sign near the room entrance on the tank, and she started slowly moving towards it to get a look at it. The siren drifted alongside her, watching her movements closely. It made her giggle a little bit.

She read the sign, which gave information on what kind of siren he was and a brief description... very, very brief. There were many "not much is known about..." sentences.

What caught her attention was the name below its official scientific name.

"Skull."

"Skull, huh?" She asked, looking back at the giant skeleton siren. "Is that what they decided to call you?"

"Skull" was staring back at her, smiling still, and she realized she was smiling back. He seemed just as entranced with her as she was with him, and she felt oddly flattered that such a gigantic creature took an interest in someone as small and insignificant as her.

Probably because you look like a tasty snack, drifted across her mind, enough to make her smile falter slightly. Logically, that made sense. It was probably similar to a big carnivorous cat at the zoo stalking a toddler. It looked cute from behind the safety of the enclosure, but realistically she would probably be torn to shreds if she was in the water with him.

Apparently, her thoughts (or at least emotions) translated to her face because Skull's smile actually dropped as well, eyelight even contracting a bit. He put his hand on the glass again. Lucy looked at it for a moment, brows furrowing before she put her hand on the glass overtop his. His smile brightened again, enough to make her smile return.

Well... maybe he actually is just interested in me-

"LUCY!! There you are, for goodness' sake we've been looking everywhere for you!"

Lucy jumped like she heard a gunshot, stumbling back from the glass and whipping around to see her teacher and a zoo staff member. The teacher looked angry and relieved, while the staff member stared at her like she had grown another head.

"How did- How did you get him to come up to the glass?" The staff member asked.

Lucy blinked, shrinking back timidly and stepping away from the glass. She went to look back at Skull, almost hoping for some form of backup, but the giant siren was gone.

"I- uh- I didn't- he just came up to me, I-I don't know," Lucy stammered, heart pounding. "I-I'm sorry, I just needed somewhere quiet, and this place was empty, a-and I didn't realize how long it had been since- I don't know I'm sorry."

Her teacher huffed for a moment. "Lucy, you know you can't just wander off like that," she stated, stepping over to the young girl.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," she mumbled on repeat, sounding like a broken record as she started grabbing her things. She cast one last glance at the tank as her teacher started leading her out, still going off on her.

She spotted the red eyelight from inside the artificial den staring at her.

She smiled slightly and offered a little wave, though it was bittersweet. She was sure she probably would not see Skull again anytime soon, if ever.

To her delight, Skull lifted one tentacle up and poked it out. At first, it looked like it was just floating in the water, but then the tip of it wiggled, mimicking the motion of waving back.

Her smile widened considerably before she finally turned and followed the teacher out of the exhibit, not even noticing the dumbstruck jaw-dropped look on the staff's face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucy was shocked when the aquarium contacted her family a few weeks later to offer free weekly visits in exchange for participating in some kind of research survey. Really, all it seemed to include was hourly visits with her new favorite siren.

It seemed like a win-win.

#kiara writes #drabble #undertale #horrortale #zoo siren au #llamagoddessofficial aus #llamagoddessofficial #fanfiction #inspired #first writing post! #woo! #word count: 1523 #i went overboard #hand slipped oops

[ace-sher-bi-john]

Me, feeling lonely: I should try to make more friends

My brain: Here's a list of all the reasons why we don't do that,

I experience hyperfixations which take up all of my mental energy to the point where I barely have enough energy to take care of myself. I can't handle having more than two obsessions at a time, and even that is draining. When my friends talk about their obsessions, I try really hard to listen, but lose interest quickly if it's not my current hyperfixation. In turn, I love to infodump and obsess over small details in my hyperfixations. I try really hard not to do this when talking to people because it feels very self-centered. Like they would care about hearing every single detail about my obsession, with no room for them to talk about their interests...

I'm an introvert and find human interaction exhausting unless that person is my mom (who I could literally talk to all day and never be tired, and she in turn would never tire of talking to me). Even talking to friends online is super exhausting and I overthink everything I say, which is even more exhausting

I have zero ability to gage how close I am to someone. I don't want to make things awkward by being super clingy, because several friendships failed throughout my life due to me being clingy and only wanting to play with one specific person even if they didn't feel like playing with me. So I've overcorrected and now I don't make any attempts to progress in our friendship out of fear of appearing clingy. I'm either the most clingy friend or the most distant friend. Friendships require a healthy balance of both and I am incapable of that, so I go for the option that will be seen as the least annoying/selfish and we remain at best really good acquaintances

My interests are very specific and change every couple of months. Even if I found someone who was obsessed with the same thing at the same time, as well as my more niche hobbies, the friendship would last as long as my hyperfixation. Once we no longer share common interests, I would inevitably talk to them less and less until one day, we're no longer friends. My brain would no longer find that person interesting and I would forget about them

I believe that I have it in me to be a really good friend. To get it right. But it would be at the cost of myself. I would try to make enough room in my brain for everyone else's lives and I wouldn't have any interests of my own. I would constantly be exhausted.

So instead I choose the option that sometimes makes me happiest, but other times leaves me sad and lonely wondering why I can't just be better at being a good friend?

I do have friends IRL. I have four people who I would consider to be close friends, possibly even best friends? Two of them have given me the label of being their best friend. But I don't talk to them as often as I probably should. I talk to one of them almost daily for hours at a time, because they just so happen to be obsessed with BBC Sherlock, the MCU and cosplay. But I fear that the second my BBC Sherlock obsession ends, I will stop talking to them.

Outside of those people, I don't know where I stand with anyone who's not family. I have my old classmates from high school. Some of them I talked to every day and had friendly interactions with, but I don't make any effort to stay in contact with them now and didn't feel much of a connection with when we were in school. I have my co-workers who I don't feel much of a connection to, but they're always happy to see me and sometimes interact with me in a way that makes me feel like we're friends. One of my co-workers hugged me before she went home on the day before she started her holiday break because she was going to miss seeing me everyday while she was off. That caught me off guard. I guess we're friends if she felt close enough to me to hug me?

Apologies for the rant. I just really needed to put that somewhere. I won't make a habit of this.

#basically i know im not a good friend #i also know what i need to do to fix that #but it would hurt my mental health to stop doing what makes me happy #infodumping about my obsessions makes me happy #infodumping with people who share my obsessions makes me happier #but listening to other people talk about their obsessions which i don't share is boring #that's selfish of me i know #but i can't just fix that about me #rant

[bricommissions]

Hii there!! *slides in* I also wanna join the matchmaking soo here I am!! I am a 17(soon 18 in a few weeks) yr old who uses they/them, I don't really have a preference,, and uh I'm one of those losers with no friends who have nothing to do in life and is an anti-social, just too scared to make friends yk... like what if they find me creepy/weird, but sometimes I have random people to do book recommendations with!! I think I'm used on being alone but I kinda want a friend tbh, and online I don't have that much friends too, but it's (not) fine since I use playing videogames + any of my hobbies as a distraction, I guess I tutor some of my classmates/people online sometimes since I'm bored and they probably have better chances on actually moving forward in life, but if possible could I get paired with book enstars and genshin? Thank you in advance aaa

hello hello, thank you for sending something in and a happy early birthday to you :D

DRUM ROLL, PLEASE . . .

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FOR ENSEMBLE STARS : HIIRO AMAGI !!

hiiro is a very kind & open-minded young man who would have no problem becoming your friend right off the bat. he wouldn't find you weird at all !! he likes to learn, so i imagine you both meet when tutoring some other idols your age with their schoolwork. he's eager to learn, & he's easy to work with since he understands your method of tutoring. you don't realize he considers you a friend until he tells you as much after a study session. hiiro tells you that he enjoys spending time with you & receving book reccomendations. he tell you that not a single book you've reccomended has been boring to him & that he's lucky to have a friend like you.

the alkaloid leader picks up on your boredness when running into you outside of a tutoring session one evening. he remembers that you told him you enjoy video games, so you introduce him to several games you like per his request. you both develop this habit of playing video games together after working on schoolwork if he doesn't have plans with alkaloid. those moments together allow the both of you to grow much closer !! it wasn't too present before, but the more time you spend together, the more you grow nervous in a good way to be in hiiro's presence. i'm talkin' butterflies. you think he feels the same way because of the redness that matches the hair on his cheeks whenever you tell him that you're grateful for the time you spend together.

it's hard to hold hands while playing video games, so hiiro starts placing his hand on top of yours during tutoring sessions whenever you're comfortable with it. he may or may not have received advice on romantic crushes from aira shiratori. through various hobbies, you become nearly inseperable because of how enamored hiiro is with you; he doesn't think a single negative thought about you. when you two start dating out of the blue because of a heartfelt confession from hiiro, everyone is happy for the both of you. your relationship is comfortable & full of pure love !!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FOR GENSHIN IMPACT : CHONGYUN !!

i think the both of you would be able to connect deeply on the front of not wanting others to perceive you in a weird way. you both don't want to come across as creepy for different reasons. as for chongyun, it's mostly because he's associated with the act of exorcising evil spirits.

for the purpose of story, let's say you live in liyue. you made unlikely friends with xiangling a while ago & she notices the two of you had quite a few similarities over time. the chef figured you two would get along swimmingly, & that you did !! you were able to connect about several things since you both fear that people find you creepy. because of that, you will both reassure one another since you Understand that struggle. chongyun grows quite attached to you since you are the one who understands him best besides his best friend & aunt. he spends a lot of time with you.

you've offered him book reccomendations on books about spirits & he always thanks you profusely, reading them from cover to cover rather quickly. he ends up pulling you further into the friend group composed of xiangling, xingqiu, & himself. xiangling points out how chongyun seems to treat you differently than he treats his friends. that's where it all starts, because apparently xingqiu is giving chongyun romantic advice from the best romance novels he has read so far.

the exorcist ends up asking you on a sweet date to eat amongst the qingxin flowers in the mountains. you cook a meal for a picnic with him in chef mao's kitchen with xiangling's aide. she's the best at hyping you up !! you both enjoy the food with the sunset & breathtaking view ahead. that won't be the last time the two of you share a pleasant date like that !!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

THANK YOU FOR READING !!

if you're the person that sent this & are unsatisfied with the results, feel free to shoot me an ask or im !!

if you'd like to receive one of these yourself, they are still open at the moment. please refer to THIS POST if you're interested.

if you liked my writing, please consider commissioning me !! it is my only source of income at the moment. i offering writing commissions such as custom character x reader fics, comfort character emails, ship fics, & more <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#anonymous #hiiro amagi #hiiro x reader #hiiro x y/n #hiiro x you #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars x you #enstars x reader #enstars x y/n #ensemble stars x y/n #enstars!! #ensemble stars!! #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars x you #chongyun #chongyun x reader #chongyun x you #chongyun x y/n #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #ensemble stars imagines #enstars imagines #genshin x you #genshin impact reader insert #enstars reader insert #enesmble stars reader insert #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

Lowkey, I find it crazy how my brain works now.

In the past I'd be terrified of my abusers name or presence, now I can say his name freely and him being around still gets me all shaky, but I can still function almost perfectly.

I haven't seen him for a while, bur I feel like if push came to shove, I'd be ok around him again

Sometimes I picture nyself being friends with him again. What would he be like now? Would he treat me like an actual person and be an honestly good person, or would he still treat me like utter shit and sexualize me? I wonder that often.

One of my friends have been getting a lot of guys getting crushes on her, and this is what triggered me to have these thoughts.

Without my wife to kinda keep me grounded, I've been just lost in thought.

I'm scared of when he sees me again, what he'll say or do.

I'm in my glow up Era rn because I'm getting my shit together, and I'm scared in all honesty.

But, sometimes I wish I wasn't getting better. Like, I'm getting better right, haven't have an episode in weeks, but sometimes a trigger comes in.

I still don't like touch. Sometimes my friends grab me and my fight or flight response kicks in and I fucking grab their thoughts. This happens when someone touchs my legs, arms, shoulders, or just anywhere under my neck. One of my friends likes to touch the back out my neck because I'm super sensitive there and if someone touched me there I shoot up like a rocket. I'm fine with that because I find it funny.

I remember when a new kid in my class grabbed my chin unprovoked. Mentally I was ok, but my eyes started water and I was shaking like crazy. Mentally I was normal, but my body was shaky and terrified.

There's also one thing I've noticed about my crush.

He's Dominican. He reminds me a lot of my abuser, not in looks tho, in the way he presents himself. His resting face I'd so similar to his that it's terrifying. Like it's a pissed off numb face, but his smile is what makes me like him so much. It contradicts the reminder of my abuser and I feel fine again.

Mentally I've been a lot happier, but my temper and emotions have been everywhere.

Im a lot more moody and easier to piss off, and a lot more intrusive and going back to old habits.

I've noticed that I've been aexualizing myself a lot more recently. Idk if it's a confidence boost in my appearance or what but it's mostly when I'm alone.

but overall life has been moody. It's mostly my mind contradicting it's self.

Like, my scars have completely faded and I miss them because I felt like it made me prettier, and I feel incomplete without them.

And then my classmates and old volleyball teammates are all fucking annoying. And then random niggas I don’t know are getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I wish I could go back, but Sometimes I wish I could stay. Contradiction this, Contradiction that.

I want something bad to happen to me, or least remember my trauma. I only remember snippets of what happened between me and my abuser, but I'm 95% sure he never like, SA'ed me or anything. But, my reactions stuff, especially sexual shit, I don't think it's only him, something else had to happen.

I have a guess, two actually. One of them is definitely not true because, no.

But, I have a really vague memory from when I was little, before I met my abuser.

I think it was 2nd grade, and a family member from my mom's side picked me up. I don't remember if it was a dream or reality.

All I remember after that though was my parents being fucking pissed at him, and my mom telling me that if he ever came to pick me up, don't go with him.

And my dad was pissed at him for years. Even saying to never let him in our house, even after he died.

Just, so much confusion and so little conformation.

I have memories of me being picked up from my bed and being taken to lord knows where. Memories from a house my parents had when I was a little babu.

I just. I just wanna remember the full picture.

[taruchinator]

💌 Teen & Up Audiences

💌 3.3k Words

💌 For the @/dkbkexchange!

“Kacchan?”

The blond's body jolted— sitting up straight with rigid shoulders as he clung to what appeared to be a scarf around his neck.

Turning behind him, Katsuki's red ruby eyes pierced into Izuku's green ones as he scowled. “What the hell are you doing here, you shitty nerd?!”

Gulping down any lingering doubt, the freckled teen walked closer. “I wanted to talk to you-”

“FUCK OFF!” Katsuki roared as he threw an object in Izuku's direction, missing the boy completely. Upon closer inspection however, the grenette's eyes widened.

It was an empty can of beer.

Hey everyone! Alice here! ^^

Happy late Valentine's Day! This little fic was created as part of a DKBK exchange from last month, but I forgot to post it here for some reason~

My giftee really wanted to have something where these two dorks actually talk about their feelings and such for once, and even though it's a little hard to do considering their relationship in canon, I figured a little of drunken confessions could help with that! I had lots of fun with it, so I hope you like it!

Izuku wasn't really one for parties.

Being born Quirkless came with its disadvantages, and among them was not being able to make friends easily, which would cause some trouble for people that wanted to try and be outgoing in their superhero society.

Izuku was one of these people, as due to him not having many friends during his childhood, he didn't get the chance to socialize— or in this particular case, fraternize— with his fellow classmates in outings or other gatherings.

But ever since he came to UA, things were vastly different.

He had a Quirk now, just to start off. There were so many people he could proudly call his friends, and classmates who he'd trust with his life. A wonderful array of teachers and a mentor who worried for him sometimes very similarly to his own mother.

And above all, was his rekindled friendship with his beloved childhood friend, Katsuki Bakugou. If he had a crush on said childhood friend was not relevant to this discussion.

Or at least that was the way it was supposed to be.

Once their graduation date had been announced by their homeroom teacher Aizawa, Katsuki had started acting… strange, to say the least.

It started simple.

They had built a habit of getting together after class to compare notes and study, but the blonde had suddenly started making excuses as to not show up. From being tired, to being busy, to getting sick. The grenette did find it odd at first, but tried not to think much of it since maybe Katsuki just had other things he needed to do instead.

Then came the hang outs. Whenever their friend groups agreed to do something together, the explosive teen would have a reason to be absent. He'd get called by Endeavor's agency, he'd have to finish homework, and he'd have to visit his mother because ‘the old hag will nag at me if I keep putting it off’.

Again, strange, but Izuku never linked any of it to himself, and just silently worried that perhaps the blond had some stuff going on and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

Turned out trying to ask him about it proved to be futile.

Katsuki started ignoring him altogether. When Izuku called for him, he'd pretend like he didn't hear him. When they'd meet in the halls, the blond would pick up the pace, even if that meant leaving Kirishima behind. When Deku went to his room, he'd never open the door.

It was only then that the pieces started coming together: Katsuki was avoiding him.

“Why is he doing this? I thought we were on good terms now! But if we weren't, he'd at least make snarky comments at me like before, but he's not even looking at me. Did I do something to upset him? Did I say something? Did I-?”

Izuku had pretty much gone through every possible reason as to why Katsuki wouldn't want to talk to him, and none of it seemed to make sense.

He knew that if he just talked to him, he'd have his answer. But how could he do that if Katsuki kept reacting as if he had the plague?

That was where the party came in.

With only a week left before graduating, the students of Class 3-A decided to throw a celebration to all the years of ups and downs they'd spent together in UA, and of course, everyone was invited! And everyone was expected to attend.

And so, as the freckled teen walked between his two friends towards the common area where the party was being held, he couldn't wait to finally see the blond and be able to confront him head on.

“Midoriya!”

"H-Huh?!”

Being brought back to reality by the sudden voice calling for him, Izuku turned to see Uraraka giggling and Iida staring at him with arms crossed. A blush spread across his face as he chuckled nervously. “I'm sorry, Iida. You were saying?”

The ravenette shook his head as he let out a sigh. “Unbelievable that even after three years your mind can continue to wander as quickly as that.”

“Oh come on Iida, cut him some slack! This is supposed to be a party, after all! He should be allowed to drift into space as many times as he wants.” Uraraka continued giggling as she stayed between the two boys.

“I-I swear it wasn't on purpose, I've just got some stuff on my mind, that's all!” The grenette tried to argue, but he knew it sounded vague and like a poor excuse. He'd know what a poor excuse sounded like.

“Don't you mean you have someone on your mind?” The brunette girl smirked slightly as she raised an eyebrow in the boy's direction.

Heat rose to his cheeks as he turned sideways and whispered rather harshly. “That's not it at all!”

Only Uraraka and Iida knew of Izuku's crush on Katsuki— even though he was pretty sure that some already had an inkling based on the way he interacted with the blond. They also knew of his dilemma with the explosive teen giving him the cold shoulder, and how much it worried him. That didn't stop Uraraka from teasing him at every chance she got, though.

“Hey guys!”

A new voice resonated in the hall, causing the trio to turn around and see Kirishima and Kaminari heading their way towards the party with bags of snacks stacked between them.

Iida was the first to greet them. “Good evening, Kirishima and Kaminari! Thank you very much for agreeing to bring the snacks!”

Kaminari saluted from behind his mountain of cheeto puffs with a smirk. “Not a problem, man! This way we get to bring the stuff that we want, don't we Kirishima?”

The red haired boy grinned in return as he adjusted his own pile of potato chips and french fries. “You betcha!”

Izuku quickly moved to the front of the group with a smile, but was immediately confused when he looked behind the duo and Katsuki was nowhere in sight. He turned to the blond's best friend. “Kirishima. Is Kacchan running late?”

Kirishima visibly shifted his gaze as the grin on his face faltered. “Um… yeah, about that. I'm sorry, Midoriya. But he said he wasn't coming.”

The grenette couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't coming? Why was he being so stubborn about this? He tried to not let it show, but it must have still been visible since everyone was looking at him with saddened expressions. “I… I see. D-Did he tell you where he was going?”

At that, Kirishima nodded. “Yeah! I think he said something about the school roof? Not sure what he'd do up there, though.”

“You know, Deku? We can meet you inside later if you want. Iida and I have lots of taste testing to do, anyway!” Uraraka suddenly spoke, with an accompanying Iida nodding at the statement. They knew how much the boy wanted to go see his Kacchan.

With a quick smile, he replied. “Thanks guys. I won't take long, I promise! And thank you, Kirishima! Hope you all have fun!”

And just like that, the freckled teen waved goodbye to his friends as he made his way to the rooftop staircase. He was getting his answers, one way or another.

The moment Izuku stepped out onto the school's rooftop, he immediately regretted the fact that he didn't bring a jacket with him, for the chilly nights were starting to grow heavier this time of year.

His frozen skin would have to wait, however, since just as Kirishima told him, the boy could make out the lonely figure of his favorite person sitting by the edge of the roof with feet dangling below.

Approaching slowly, he spoke softly as to not interrupt the stillness of the night. “Kacchan?”

The blond's body jolted— sitting up straight with rigid shoulders as he clung to what appeared to be a scarf around his neck. Turning behind him, Katsuki's red ruby eyes pierced into Izuku's green ones as he scowled. “What the hell are you doing here, you shitty nerd?!”

Gulping down any lingering doubt, the freckled teen walked closer. “I wanted to talk to you-”

“FUCK OFF!” Katsuki roared as he threw an object in Izuku's direction, missing the boy completely. Upon closer inspection however, the grenette's eyes widened.

It was an empty can of beer.

Looking back at the blond, Izuku finally noticed the six pack that was sitting right next to him. His body quickly shifted gears as he felt himself flare up with anger. “Kacchan, are you drinking?! You're seventeen, you shouldn't be drinking this stuff yet!”

“Don't tell me how to live my life, you damn nerd! Now GET LOST!” Katsuki roared and proceeded to throw another can, which this time didn't even make it past a few feet away from him. Katsuki had a great arm to throw, but this wasn't a good example of that.

This worried Izuku even more. “Are you drunk right now?”

“You think I'm some lightweight prissy?! 'course I'm not!” Katsuki said that, but the slurring in his voice told Izuku otherwise.

“That's it, I'm taking you back to your room!” The grenette quickly closed the remaining gap between them as he tried to pick at the boy's torso to get him into a standing position. There were about two packets of six packs remaining, and all Izuku could do was wonder where he even got them from.

“LET ME GO, YOU NERD! YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING BABYSITTER!” Katsuki began swatting at Izuku's attempts to pull him upwards, throwing what could only be described as a tantrum. The freckled teen was getting impatient, the accumulated stress of the cold shoulder treatment during the past weeks getting to him.

“Well, I might as well be with all the stupid stuff you're doing! If I sneak you from the back, the teachers won't see you and hopefully you won't get in trouble-” Izuku started mumbling, but was quickly interrupted by a cry.

“YOU DON'T HAVE TO BABYSIT ME ANYMORE, DAMMIT! JUST GO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT ME!” The blond's screams turned into wails as he began pulling at the other teen's arm with little to no strength left, sobs escaping his lips occasionally.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Izuku was beyond confused at the sudden change in his friend's demeanor, but noticed the seriousness of the situation and tried acting accordingly by standing still.

“I'm always holding you back… Making you pity me so that I can walk all over you in the end! Telling you to fucking jump off roofs and hope for the best in the next life— what kind of hero does that?! No hero does that! NO HUMAN BEING DOES THAT! ONLY ASSHOLES DO!” Tears began pouring down the blond's cheeks as he continued speaking aloud, refusing to look up from his position on the ground.

Izuku could only stare in silent disbelief at what he was hearing. The rooftop incident… Well, not just that, but everything else. The boy had forgiven his best friend for that a long time ago. Sure, they had never openly talked about it, but he'd assumed it remained as an unspoken understanding.

To know he was still clinging onto it was very heartbreaking to see. “Kacchan… You aren't like that anymore. It happened so long ago, it doesn't matter-”

“Of course it fucking matters, Deku! I destroyed your life! I made it a living hell! And I'm supposed to be graduating in a week to become a ‘true hero’ when I couldn't even apologize to the one person I hurt the most?! The one person I love the most?!” Katsuki finally dared to look up at his friend with teary eyes and streaked cheeks, this time reaching for the grenette's hands.

The more Katsuki said, the more Izuku started to understand.

Why he was being ignored, why he was being pushed away, and why it all began the moment Aizawa told them when they'd be graduating— his Kacchan was holding all of this in, and never allowed himself the chance to think that maybe Izuku had forgiven him.

But that wasn't all—

“L-Love?” The freckled teen mumbled the word to himself in disbelief. Katsuki… loved him? Him? There was just no way! Was there?

The blond's eyes widened, and he immediately turned his gaze downwards once more. “Shit! You weren't supposed to know! You were never supposed to know! If anyone deserves to jump off a fucking roof… it's me.”

As soon as he heard that statement, Izuku's blood ran cold and his body moved on its own as he engulfed the other boy in a hug, refusing to let go. “NO! KACCHAN, YOU CAN'T DO THAT! DON'T YOU DARE EVEN THINK THAT!”

Katsuki's body went rigid for a moment, not daring to make a move as if he'd break something if he did, but slowly went and returned the embrace as sobs began to hiccup past his lips. “I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Deku! I'm sorry for being a dickhead back then! And I'm sorry for falling in love with you when I don't deserve it!”

Izuku's own body began to shake as tears of his own began to flow, the emotions he held back for years starting to come out. “It's okay Kacchan… It's okay! I forgive you. You did some really bad things, but everyone deserves a second chance… And you've earned it!”

Pulling back slightly, the freckled teen pushed the blond's bangs out of his face as he began to place gentle light kisses against his forehead, mumbling sweet words of encouragement as he tried to get his beloved to calm down.

Despite enjoying the treatment he was getting, Katsuki quickly pulled away as soon as he came back to his senses— or at least as many senses he could have after drinking so much alcohol— and stared at Izuku with an incredulous expression. The grenette couldn't help but chuckle at the cute display.

“Why are you kissing me?” Katsuki's tone was the softest Izuku had ever heard, and it only melted his heart even more.

“Because I love you too, silly. I always have.” He smiled as he wiped the remaining tears from the corner of his Kacchan's eyes. He then proceeded to lean forward and kiss his eyelids, softly and gently so as to not break his precious one's heart any more than it already did that night.

The blond tried to wiggle his way out, mumbling grumpily. “B-But… How could you love someone like me? Someone who did awful things to you?”

“Easy. I see how much you've grown and changed over the last three years, and how hard you try to make amends. I see the way you treat those around you, and even though they might just see an angry guy, I see the real you. The Kacchan who's selfless, and strong and so very kind. My Kacchan.” By the time Izuku finishes his speech, the blond's eyes are filling with tears once more, which the freckled teen knows don't suit him at all.

“I-Is it okay? Is it really okay to love you? To tell you how much I want to make you happy and see your smile everyday?” Katsuki continues to mumble, so Izuku takes initiative for the first time in his life.

He takes the other's face gently between his hands, staring into those ruby eyes he's seen in his dreams many times before, and slowly leans in as his lips gently touch Katsuki's.

The kiss is short yet sweet. Filled with unspoken feelings, promises, and love. Izuku can feel the blond's tongue gently trace against his lips, and so he parts them to allow his loved one access. Their tongues have a slow dance before exploring each other's mouths and then going back to the courtship.

Katsuki let's out a sound that Izuku can only describe as a moan, and he has to hold himself back as he reminds himself that the blonde is drunk and most definitely not in the condition to do any of the sweet yet naughty things the grenette has been yearning to do with him for so long.

A few seconds go by, and that's when Izuku notices the sudden heavy weight of Katsuki's body against his. Pulling away from their kiss, the boy panics for a moment, only to realize.

Kacchan had fallen asleep.

The soft snores are more than enough to make it worth cutting their make-out session short. Izuku smiles and leans forward, kissing the other boy's temple one more time. “Goodnight, Kacchan. I hope you will still be mine in the morning…”

And with that, Izuku shifts Katsuki's body weight against his own and begins his perilous descent back into the dormitory.

After the events of that night, he merely placed the blond back in his bedroom and proceeded to head towards his own, sending a message to Uraraka that he wouldn't be able to make it.

Laying down in bed, the freckled boy smiled as he had nothing but beautiful dreams filled with the love of his life right by his side.

Partners in more ways than one.

The next day, Izuku just wants to stay in his bedroom forever and scream into a pillow until the floor decides he's worthy of being swallowed.

He can recall the events from the previous night in great detail, but he's pretty darn sure that Katsuki won't, which will definitely be an issue since now that his feelings are out in the open, he's not sure if he can contain them anymore.

Still, he realizes that he'll have to face his favorite blond eventually, so might as well do it sooner rather than later.

Either Katsuki remembers and threatens to kill Izuku if he even dares to mention anything, or he doesn't remember and Izuku has to live with the fact that the other loves him back, but just won't admit it.

No matter the outcome, he'd lose.

Still, he had to press on.

Once he changed into his uniform, he headed to the dinning room where mostly everyone was already gathered and having breakfast, sounds of groaning and complaining from pulling an all-nighter here and there.

As Izuku heads for a table after serving himself a bowl of cereal, he stops dead in his tracks as he sees Katsuki walking into the room. Trying to avoid eye contact, the grenette attempts to power walk past him.

“Deku.”

Katsuki's voice freezes him, and he begins to prepare for his funeral as he gulps and turns towards the blond with the largest smile he can muster. “Yes, K-Kach-”

He isn't allowed to finish, as the explosive teen holds onto the other boy's head and pulls him in for a kiss. It's not gentle like last night's, but rather rougher and sloppier. But the message behind it was crystal clear: ‘You're mine and I'm yours.’.

Once he pulls away, Izuku stares wide-eyed at the red plump lips he now loved so much— just like everyone else in the room, who had immediately stopped eating to witness the scene before them.

Licking his lips, the blond turns sideways as a small blush spreads across his neck. “Good morning, nerd.”

As Izuku spaces out, he can only faintly distinguish Uraraka's ‘you owe me $20’ followed by a groan that seems to come from Iida, along with all the cheers and pictures being taken by his classmates.

And in that moment, everything is truly right in the world. Everything is perfect, and Izuku wouldn't have it any other way. And as such, he smiles at the person he plans to spend the rest of his life reminding that he's worthy of love.

The person he will love until the day he dies.

What could be more perfect than that?

“Good morning, Kacchan!”

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#my hero academia #bakudeku #dekubaku #bkdk #dkbk #my stories

[sidekickjoey]

Sent this to @xpaperheartso​ and was told to absolutely share it, and with this yearbook photo circulating again & giving me ideas, I decided I might as well go for it. So, here is my (love-filled yet tragic) backstory for Eddie’s parents and how he, eventually, ended up in the best place he could ever hope for: Wayne’s home. 

(TW for brief mentions of drugs/ODing - promise it’s not detailed). Word Count: 2,526

Scott and Connie Munson had very different upbringings. 

Scott was Wayne’s brother, only a twinge bit older - two years, maximum. He started out a funky little kid not unlike Eddie, with way too much energy and the need to just get into/cause chaos. Only he didn’t have an outlet to put his energy into like D&D, so he got into trouble. He picked locks for fun and tried to steal from other trailers when get got bored. When he and Wayne get older, he continues goofing off and getting into trouble because he believes stealing is the only way he can get what he wants - not like his parents can get him what he wants, still struggling from the effects of the Great Depression. He’s not like Wayne, who quietly begins getting odd jobs as soon as he’s old enough just to help ease their burden. He doesn’t see the way they stress, the fear they have for Scott’s future. He just thinks it’s what he’s got to do, so he keeps doing it.

He nearly gets arrested in 11th grade for hot-wiring a car and crashing it into Lover’s Lake instead of going to class. He gets away with a harsh warning from the police, but it’s the final straw for Hawkins High. Scott is expelled on the spot. He refuses to let this be the end of him at the place though, craving the attention he routinely gets from classmates, and makes a habit of lingering around its premises. Instead of becoming a pariah, he becomes a fascination of most students, may of which try to catch glimpses of him from the halls. Not everyone is pleased - John Harrington is two seconds from calling the cops on Scott when he catches him staring at his girl) - but for the most part, he’s able to ride the high as a spectacle. That’s when he meets his wife, Connie.

Connie was a middle name turned first, “Martha Constance” sounding a bit too formal for young Connie. She has a good upbringing and lives a fairly normal life at first. She loves writing and drawing and is incredibly kind to everyone she meets. When she meets Scott, she does so already with a soft spot for him. See, she’s not like the others who think of him as only up to no good, or a circus act to be beheld. She sees him as a troubled soul with a need to break free and be heard. He tries to show off to her, to keep her from seeing what’s inside of him, but she stops his shit on the spot and instead challenges him. She puts him on the spot about his actions and asks if he really thinks they’ll ever get him what he needs. He says something like ‘Not without you by my side, no’ with the big Munson grin he later will pass down to Eddie. It charms Connie, and she decides then and there to make it her mission to fix this guy, even if it kills her. 

Time passes, and the two grow close. They eventually decide to elope right after her graduation, knowing she’s lined up to start college at Indiana University and her family would never approve. The plan is for her to walk the stage and then immediate hop into Scott’s van, claiming she’s going out to celebrate with friends but actually ending up at the Justice of the Peace. The only one aside from Scott who knows of the plan is Wayne, who walks in on Scott shoving all his savings (Wayne knows they aren’t all his, saw him sneak into their parents’ room earlier) into a bag and demands to know what he’s up to now. Scott begs Wayne to keep quiet and let them do this, pleading that “This girl is the real thing, Wayne.” Wayne’s never heard his brother sound so caring for another, so he chooses to believe him and shut up - on the condition he treats Connie well. The second Connie’s not happy, he’ll spill the beans. 

Scott agrees, and at first, the wedding goes off without a hitch. What they did not account for, however, was the newspaper announcing all weddings in the city. Connie soon is kicked out by her appalled parents, who already pinned her to marry a nice boy down the road with a good office job and a scholarship to the University of Chicago. With her home also goes her chance of attending IU, because there’s no chance she can afford tuition on Scott’s money. It’s too unreliable. Later that night, she ends up on his trailer doorstep with whatever she could carry and cries her eyes out in his lap. Scott even gets a little emotional. Wayne overhears the noise and comes face-to-face with exactly what he feared - an unhappy Connie. He tells Scott then that he can’t keep this hidden, says quietly that maybe their parents will be able to help if he lets them know. Scott wants to lash out, but deep down, he wonders if Wayne’s right. Maybe he can convince his family to help them, and maybe even get Connie her school money. It does not work, though. His parents kick them both out, cutting him off indefinitely for his behavior. It’s the last time Wayne sees his brother. Connie leaves thanking him for trying with a kiss. 

They get a motel a mile outside Hawkins. There, Scott, always scheming, comes up with a plan. He derives this elaborate story about how they’re going to stick it to The Man™ and make their way on their own. They’ll become the stealthiest couple north of Tennessee, stealing and dealing until they can afford one of the fancy houses in Loch Nora. He mimics the shocked voices of the stuffy residents there to make Connie laugh. She ends up kissing him and telling him she loves him, that she’d do anything to see him smile like this. She promises him she’ll try and get a job for herself as well, mentally believing they one day won’t have to steal. They’ll get back to their perfect future. They end up conceiving Eddie unknowingly that night, and then make it to Indianapolis the next. 

Scott sells some drugs and makes enough to buy a steady supply of more - good quality stuff that rakes in cash. He and Connie get drunk together and it’s the first time she’s tried drugs when he puts a blunt to her lips. It makes her feel free for the first time in her life. Scott tells her she looks beautiful with the smoke in her eyes and she gives him a massive grin back. They sell and indulge their way across the Midwest until morning sickness eventually hits Connie like a truck, changing their world forever. 

Scott is surprisingly not upset whatsoever finding out he’s going to be a dad. He still is riding high from the whole ‘sticking it to The Man’ talk, so he thinks having a boy of his own he could raise to be successful without any government help sounds badass. Connie is relieved, but she’s also terrified knowing everything she’s done so far while pregnant and that she’s probably not getting any medical help until the big day comes. She trusts Scott though. Follows him to the ends of the Earth on his promises of more, of stability, of love. By the time she’s 9 months along, Scott brings great news that he’s snagged a job as a mechanic and they’ll have enough for a small trailer. They celebrate that night and the moment they get the keys, Connie goes into labor. Baby Eddie enters the world with love and a new trailer to call home.

Unfortunately, love cannot pay the bills, and baby Eddie comes with many. Loads. So many that, by the time he’s pushing two, not even selling drugs alongside mechanic work can sustain their family. They’re soon forced to give up the trailer and go back on the road. Scott begins dealing harder drugs and committing robberies here and there when he can do so safely. Connie stays at home with Eddie and self medicates with alcohol and some of the drugs Scott brings. It’s around this time that she drives into the full hippie aesthetic of the time, ditching her high hair to let it flow free, chocolate curls cascading down her back. When she isn’t too high to think, she’s taking Eddie to gatherings of similar people. It’s where Eddie first hears music. 

They don’t settle again until Eddie needs to go to school. Connie demands they settle somewhere on a particularly sober night, demanding her son has a good life. Scott tells her it’s risky, that he’ll get caught if they don’t keep running, but Connie puts her foot down, clings to her hope of a better future desperately. So, they make it work in an even smaller town a few miles outside of Hawkins. Rent is cheaper and it’s just close enough to big cities that Scott can maintain his deals. Eddie grows up learning ‘life skills’ from him whenever he’s around, such as hot-wiring and sneaking items out of grocery stores. He listens to music with his mom, not noticing how spaced-out she is most times. He doesn’t know any better, so he thinks it’s all normal. He doesn’t question not being able to bring friends over and stays ignorant of the kind of deals or bad trips happening at his home. It all comes to light, however, when he comes home one day at age 12 and finds a slurry of cop cars outside his home.

It turns out, Scott had been right. Smaller towns were risky. He did one deal, shortchanging the person he sold to, only for them to take far too much than he prescribed and OD. Their small town knew in no time, forcing Scott on the run. The cops found him quick, but he still tried his best to keep running. He realized quickly though that it was useless, he couldn’t run forever, so he ran to the one place he wanted to see last with his freedom: home. He sprinted inside hoping to see Connie or Eddie, to tell them he’s sorry and will make this up to them soon. Only, neither of them were home. Eddie was still at school - something that brought some comfort to Scott. If he was at school, he’d be safe no matter what went down there. Connie not being around, however, was troubling. Even more troubling was the fact he saw all of their drugs and cash were gone. She’d ran away, he realized. Word probably got to her too and she bailed. He spent his last moments of freedom muttering how sorry he was to Eddie before the cops ran inside and took him away. He’s gone in a cop car with charges of murder, dealing illegal substances, avoiding arrest, and child endangerment all before Eddie arrives. 

The scene Eddie finds is parentless. His little voice barely carries over the sirens calling for them.

An officer quickly takes him away from the scene and to the station. He promises Eddie that he will get his possessions but tells him he will not be going home that night. It’s not safe. He then asks Eddie if he knows where his mom is, to which he shakes his head and mentions she kissed him goodbye before he left for school and that’s all. No one ever hears from Connie until her lifeless body turns up at a festival out in the desert months later, with loads of possible causes attributed to it. In that moment in the station though, they accept Eddie’s word and tell him his dad is going away for a very long time for doing something very bad. They also ask him as he cries if he has any relatives he could stay with while they figure things out. 

Eddie’s seconds from admitting he has no idea when a frazzled and panicked Wayne Munson barges into the station. He drops birth certificates, pay stubs, anything he can to prove to the officers that he’s Eddie’s flesh and blood and that he’s able to take him in. Eddie is not sure about him at first, having never heard of any uncle of his, but then again, he never heard of family, and he knew other kids had family outside of their parents. Just to be safe, he’s peculiarly shy when the officers eventually turn him over to Wayne, promising to call when he can get his things. He stays shy the whole drive home to Hawkins, to Forest Hills Trailer Park. Wayne doesn’t think twice about giving Eddie his bed. Eddie doesn’t see Wayne start silently crying when he shuts the door behind him.

Eddie wakes up that night with nightmares of everything that went down, calling for his parents - his mom. Them not being there and him waking up in an unfamiliar room compounds the situation, and soon he’s bursting into ugly sobs loud enough to wake the entire trailer park. Wayne rushes into the room in seconds, sliding into the bed and bringing Eddie in for a wordless hug without a second thought. Eddie doesn’t question it either, just hugs and lets out all of the pent up stress, confusion, and sadness of having his entire life flipped upside down in one day. 

When he’s no longer sobbing, Wayne rubs his back and asks Eddie if he wants to do something he did once when things got bad. Eddie is confused but agrees, following Wayne to the bathroom. He sits on the toilet seat as Wayne brings out a pair of scissors and an electric razor. He tells him about shaving his head when he lost someone close to him (I.e. Scott), about it being a good fresh start. Eddie is worried, only having known his long hair his entire life, but Wayne’s sincerity convinces him. He lets him shave his head and only cries a little. The tears are joined with a small smile, however, and it grows when he sees his reflection in the mirror. 

They spend the rest of the night getting to know each other and listening to music. Wayne lets Eddie use his acoustic guitar and is shocked yet not totally surprised he can play it, remembering Connie saying she liked music in those early days. They both pass out on the couch that night. 

Wayne puts Eddie in Hawkins middle the next day and takes Eddie out for ice cream right after. He knows he has to deal with loads of legal ramifications soon and that he’ll need to pick up a hefty job to try and support Eddie, but in that moment, with his nephew getting mint chocolate chip ice cream all over his face and giggling, Wayne knows it’s worth it. It’s what he’s been working up to all these years, taking care of his family. He can do it. He will do it for Eddie.

#stranger things #stranger things headcanon #eddie munson #wayne munson #st headcanons #stranger things ficlet #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

[nctstany]

Love Me Now

Pairing:  Jaeyong (Jaehyun x Taeyong)

Plot: All Taeyong wants to do is finish his last two years of college in peace but since he’s the son of a famous CEO he must do something he never thought he would do even in his next life time, marry his ‘enemy’.

Genre: Light angst, fluff, angst, smut???, light smut??, language, sexual themes, family problems, *cough cough* daddy issues

ELEVEN 

“You aren’t focusing…for once.” Doyoung cut off the music. At this point with the amount of times Taeyong has made him watch this choreography he might as well be the teacher. Case in point Doyoung is noticing the small mistakes that Taeyong could never let himself make. 

“I know. I know.” 

“What’s wrong?” Doyoung sat down next to him and proceeded to nudge the answer out of him. 

“Did something happen when we left?” It’s been a couple of days since that night and Taeyong can’t shake off the feeling of Jaehyun’s lips against his. It was like time stopped for that moment.....for us.

“Did you two…? Well you know…fuck?” That statement took Taeyong out of his daze and he screamed while getting red in the face,  “OF COURSE WE DIDN’T!” He looked away, “We just……” and touched his lips in the memory of it, “Kissed.” 

“Oh my god. I need to tell Mark about this.” 

“No no no. No telling that monster.” Taeyong snatched the phone away from him and sank down on the floor.

“That’s all that happened? You sure that you two didn’t fuck?” The last part was a bitter whisper that came out of Doyoung’s mouth. 

“I imagined what it would have been like if we didn’t stop kissing.” Taeyong confessed and Doyoung’s face fell blank causing the other to panic, “Say something!”

“What do you want me to say?” Bitter.

“Tell me I’m crazy.” 

“Okay.” Doyoung shrugged and continued with a harsh chuckle, “You’re crazy.”   

Taeyong looked down at the floor, thinking about that night and just how drunk Jaehyun got. How much liquor courage was in him. 

“My old classmates told me that he has always had a crush on me.” 

“It’s hilarious that you never noticed that.”

———————————————

It was bright and early. Taeyong had to decide weather or not he should get out of bed. He has classes in about an hour then off to the dance studio. Taeyong didn’t see Jaehyun that morning just a small note with ‘save a plate for me’ written on it. 

“Did I just become a house wife?” Taeyong tsked while throwing away the note. He totally did. It started with him noticing how dirty the other is so he cleaned the house. he also noticed how Jaehyun doesn’t really cook for himself since he’s always working. Taeyong’s mother taught him how to cook and clean ever since he was little. Because of this he was able to be independent and left the house once he was 18, been on his own. 

~Taeyong finally sat down on the couch from his busy day of cleaning, school and practice. He looked over at his phone next to him. It’s almost midnight and not a Jaehyun in sight. He usually ends up showing up in the door with a stupid smirk and a sigh of relief. The door swung opened and Jaehyun appeared in the hall doing his routine.

"Honey~ I'm home." He hung up his coat while kicking off his shoes and proceeded to hunt down his meal.

"It's on the counter." Taeyong hollered from the couch and Jaehyun looked over. There it was a home cooked meal wrapped in tin foil. Excitement went across his face as he began to enjoy his meal.

"Thank you~"

"Yeah yeah."

The energy was happy and quiet. Taeyong felt the relaxation creeping upon him until he heard the sound of something unpleasant.

“Clean up after yourself.” Taeyong looked around the counter to see a dish in the sink. A dirty dish after he just done did all of the dishes and also cooked dinner for the night.  

“Stop making a big deal about it, one dish will not hurt you.”

“That’s not the point of me telling you this.” 

“Then what is?” Jaehyun took his last bite while raising his eyebrow. 

“Shut up, I’m thinking.” Taeyong rubbed his temple and stared the other down, “Just don’t make it a habit.” 

“Whatever.” Jaehyun got up from the table and made direct eye contact with the other as he proceeded to put a dirty dish in the sink. He then smirked while walking away slowly. Taeyong stormed over there and grabbed hold of his shirt near the neck. 

“What are you gonna do? Kiss me?” 

Taeyong clenched his fist and his ears started to ring. Suddenly Jae back up with force from something hitting him. Taeyong’s fist was still clenched.   

Jaehyun bit his lip and rubbed it while grinning, “This is how you want to handle things?” Taeyong nodded feeling anger still rising up inside of him. 

“Punch me like how you did at the wedding.”

“Punch me back then.” Taeyong started swinging barely landing any shots on the other. Jaehyun dodged them for once and was able to get behind to wrap his arms around. He squeezed tight to stop the other from squirming.  

“What the hell are you doing?” Jaehyun grunted trying to keep his grip,  “Better yet, what are we doing? This is stupid.” 

"Taeyong!” 

The grip was released and Tae finally clamed down but still had anger in his face. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“You! It’s you.” Taeyong felt like pulling his hair out. How does he not know? Why doesn’t he remember? 

“You’ve been like this since the anniversary.” 

Something broke in Taeyong just then. 

“You know what? You’re right.” He crossed his arms and popped out a hip. Why should he remember?

“That night just made me realize how much I never liked you. I don’t know how I’m gonna last another year.”  

“Really?”

———————————————

*Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring*

A groaned echoed the room and a deep annoyed voice answered the phone.

"What?"

"Don't what me, young man! Tell you and your little lover to get over to the office immediately. Taeyong's dad is furious!" The phone hung up abruptly and Jaehyun rose from his ashes.

"Taeyong's dad is furious~ blah blah. Then call Taeyong's phone."

~“I hate that I have to hear from Mark that you two actually get into physical fights.” Taeyong’s dad rubbed his temple and looked at them with tiredness.

“He starts them.” Jaehyun crossed his arms like a child.

“You didn’t clean up after yourself.” Taeyong already started to get mad, “The one fucking rule in the house.”

“Said who?”

“You! You did!”

“It’s a problem that you look ready to hit him again.” Mr. Lee jumped in with the same look on his face.

“They aren’t serious.” Jaehyun tried to reassure the older which made Mr. Lee chuckle while pointing, “You have a bruise on your face.”

Jaehyun touched his cheek and winced from the stinging, he looked over to the side, “You should see the other guy.”

“You two are going to counseling.”

“What why? This isn’t even real!” Taeyong finally spoke about to protest more.

“Keep your voice down young man.”

“We really don’t need it, dad.”

“Did you just fucking call him dad?” Jaehyun proudly nodded, “I should kill you.” Taeyong spoke through his teeth.

“Taeyong.” His dad deepened his voice then cleared it, speaking his demand, “But end of discussion, I’ll have you two scheduled for next weekend.”

Jaehyun hollered in pain from Taeyong kicking him in the leg.

“That’s for calling him dad.”

“Make it this weekend.”

———————————————

"Get up."

"No."

"You sitting here all day is not gonna solve anything probably just make your dad more angry." Jaehyun stated and Taeyong didn't move an inch. In that moment Jaehyun’s eye twitched and he grabbed the other over his shoulder, making his way to the room that the lady reception pointed to. He plopped Taeyong down on the couch and sat besides him with a little sigh of defeat, "Now try to be good."

That sent a chill down his spine....for some reason. Taeyong mocked the other as he sat in the slouched with his arms cross. He can't believe that his dad of all people even had the idea of marriage counseling. He's the type to ignore people's feelings just to get on with life. "It's no good to dwell on the past, Taeyong."

"Guess you two are the happy couple?" A young woman walked into the room with a bright smile.

"Yeah the happiest." Taeyong sat up in his chair with a sigh.

"I'm doctor Mia. I'll ask the basics to get to know you two better." Dr. Mia got settled into a chair and clicked her pen against a notepad, “How did you two meet?”

“Our parents were childhood friends.”

“I was forced to be around him.”

"Childhood? You two must close growing up then.” Dr. Mia stated then continued now with a bunch of filler questions. To which Jaehyun answered first and Taeyong would had banter. Jaehyun gave him a look at every comment. 

"Lastly, what brings you two in here today."

"He's a shit head."

"We aren’t seeing eye to eye lately."

"Because you're a shit head."

"Taeyong, why is he a shit head?" Finally someone other than Jaehyun is genuinely asking about his feelings. Only took around 20 years of his life for this. 

"He expects me to do everything around the house. Cook, clean, I'm not a house wife! I have school and dance practice that I'm very focused on."

"He doesn’t have a job though."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Taeyong crossed his leg over and faced Jaehyun. He cleared his throat and looked over at the doctor instead. 

"I'm just saying that once he finishes school and practice then he’s home all day so naturally he would.....do those things." Jaehyun murmured the last part and Taeyong forced a laugh, "Naturally~"

"So Taeyong, you think that your husband should do his share. Jaehyun, you think that Taeyong doesn't do has much as you."

"When you put it that way I sound like an asshole."

"Because you are."

The talking continued well mainly Taeyong telling Jaehyun how much of an asshole he is. Of course it made him a little anger back but he knows there’s another reason to this sudden change in attitude. He knows he did something wrong since the anniversary but Taeyong won’t explain anything. 

“You two really love each other a lot. I can see it.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“This might sound crazy but I think you two need to spend more time together, join in on each other’s lives.”

“That did sound crazy.” Taeyong laughed. 

“Taeyong, do you know what your husband does for a living?”

It was a sudden question that really made him think. He wears a suit everyday....is always having business calls and meetings. 

“Of course I do! He works at a place that pays him, pretty much all I need to know.”

“Don’t you want your marriage to last?”

“Of course we do~” Jaehyun cut in and gripped Taeyong’s hand looking over at him, “Right, honey.”

“Yeah sure whatever, so um- how do we fix this?” Taeyong looked at her like she didn't already give her input. All she did was sigh and smiled a little,  “At least think about doing what I said.”

“I can already feel the headache.”  

“That’s marriage for ya! And since I can tell how much you two are in love then I can tell that everything will be fine. It’s up to your father, Taeyong, to schedule another session if he feels that you two are still in a pickle.” Dr. Mia finally put down her pen and pad, “But I believe in the both of you.”

“Very touching thank you. Are we done here?”

“....yeah.”

"Thank you."

#nct taeyong #jaehyun x taeyong #nct jaehyun x taeyong #nct taeyong x jaehyun #NCT #NCT 127 #nct 127 fanfic

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Yeah... I'm gonna talk about FAMILY GUY... Long post, incoming!

Actually, I'm seeing some talk about FAMILY GUY, specifically early FAMILY GUY, elsewhere. As of late. Because the TED Peacock series, based on a now 12-year-old movie, is out. And apparently it's pretty good? Reminiscent of the early seasons of FAMILY GUY, which people who actually like the show consider to be the series' best seasons? I couldn't tell you.

Coincidentally, I've re-watched most of Seasons 1-3 now that my Disney+ plan includes Hulu. The seasons produced and aired *before* FAMILY GUY was here to stay. FOX had cancelled the show twice in the early 2000s, and when it came back for the second time, it never left. It's now one of those long-running cartoons, ubiquitous with the word "cartoon" you could say, a new season almost every year.

I'm gonna be a total hipster and say that I was onboard the FAMILY GUY train as early as mid-2003 ish.

I was in fifth grade, and was at the time starting to stay up later than usual to watch a little thing called [adult swim]...

FAMILY GUY had just started airing on [adult swim], almost a year after its then-final episode - 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1' - had aired on FOX. A classmate of mine had told me about it, and little by little, I was watching FAMILY GUY regularly. Even on school nights, low volume, haha. I didn't want to get in trouble. Life in the early 2000s was different, to any smartphone-era babies reading.

I didn't know anybody else in school at the time, sans a few classmates, who watched the show. It was like we five or so kids were the only ones who knew of its existence in my town (along w/ the original [as] shows, like AQUA TEEN and SEALAB 2021), which is kind of wild to think. I think by mid-2004, I'd seen every episode of the show to date, including the one that FOX was too cold-footed to air (for understandable reasons, especially in the early 2000s. The episode in question is probably tame compared to what the show would later "get away with"). And it was on almost every night, so I only had to wait 24 hours to see a FAMILY GUY episode I may have never seen... So catch-up was pretty easy!

I think part of the appeal for me - at age 10/11 - was definitely "haha this is a naughty show and I probably shouldn't be watching it" (though weirdly, my mother and stepdad let me watch a SOUTH PARK episode or two, I don't remember that show being off-limits) aspect. Another reason is kind of weirder, and I came to this realization rather recently-ish. Around 4th/5th grade, some things bothered young me. Growing up autistic wasn't always easy, and my way of processing the way world can be and how unfair life can be sometimes kinda... Made me act strange, in ways? I definitely had this "old soul" kinda bullshit going on at certain points in my kid life, when I should've been loose and funny and laughing at fart jokes. And I was at times, don't get me wrong. It's not like I was miserable or anything, or bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders, but some days I'd feel... Strange. And I was weirdly anti-some things that the typical kid finds funny or amusing. I don't know if I can fully articulate it now on a tumblr post, but the long story-short is... [adult swim] was one of the things that helped loosen me up a bit.

Going into middle school at age 10-going-on-11 (I started school early?) was not easy, and that accelerated a lot of things, a lot of feelings, a lot of complications in my brain... And my embrace of [adult swim] started to converge with that, and by 7th grade, I was really, really loose. I swore more, I wrote edgy stuff, I upped like most of my original stories I was writing to PG-13/R-level, I was a silly little edgelord sometimes. But at the same time, unleashing a lot of *that* after a few years of this weird pseudo-old soul nonsense, bad habits, and general confusion was a very fun and freeing feeling!

This is why, despite a lot of shit that should've made that time in my life a nightmare, late 2004-early 2005 was a really exciting time in my life. I think just letting the proverbial hair down was a big reason why, alongside all of my hyperfixations that I always turned to when things really sucked. Things such as Pixar movies and BIONICLE and Cartoon Network stuff and various video games, etc. etc. etc. And smack-dab in the middle of all this was my nightly [adult swim] viewings before I had to get up at 6:30am to wait for the bus on cold-ass mornings. FUTURAMA, FAMILY GUY, AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE, THE BRAK SHOW, on and on... It was the stuff I could turn to.

For Christmas in 2004, I was given a newly-released FAMILY GUY DVD called "The Freakin' Sweet Collection"... I probably wore that poor disc out. Creator Seth MacFarlane's 5 favorite episodes, ones that I still find to be bangers to this day, plus some bonus features. FAMILY GUY was a prime special interest of mine at the time, and eventually I went to a music store that went out of business many years ago and picked up the DVD sets compiling Seasons 1, 2 & 3... And subsequently wore all of those out throughout 2005. They're but gone, now... Though some stores sell a whole box set with like, what, the first 10 seasons of the show for a fair price? I may or may not buy that if the discs aren't updated from the original 2000s versions. Anyways, FAMILY GUY, yeah... I just really, really liked it back then.

Really, I was the perfect age for it at the time. FAMILY GUY has always been contested, regularly seen as one of the nadirs of animated trash. You can definitely make a case for that. As much as I dig early FAMILY GUY, some of its humor really has not aged well, and is indeed offensive in many ways. For me, I feel those pre-2nd cancellation seasons have a charm to them to shines through the more egregious stuff. A charm that noticeably fades away from Season 4-onwards. You see, being from Connecticut, where MacFarlane was born... FAMILY GUY is *very* New England to me. After all, it is set in a fictional Rhode Island town, the state the neighbors me.

The show started airing in 1999, and while I wasn't watching it back then (let alone had even heard of it), I feel a lot of the character interactions, dialogue, and setting really do capture the feeling of being there. In a New England state, in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Little nuances and such, the way Peter and Lois joke about things in particular. Such as this scene from Season 2's 'E Peterbus Unum':

I don't know how to put it in words, but it's very New England to me. My family and I interacted like this quite frequently. Plus, you have Peter's voice being inspired by a security guard that Seth overheard when attending the Rhode Island School of Design, a very New England accent. Lois, too, to some extent. I hear a middle-aged Connecticut mom or aunt in Alex Borstein's delivery, whom she based on a relative of hers. Maybe that's why I initially connected to this show more so than THE SIMPSONS back in the day (and at that time, THE SIMPSONS was on its not-so-beloved seasons), I was too inept to grasp THE SIMPSONS' wit. It hit just right, I think, back then.

Now, upon learning that the show had been cancelled and that it was actually coming back... Within a few months... You bet I was excited? I remember the Sunday the fourth season premiere aired, my family and I gathered around to watch it, and I just remember all of us laughing like hyenas throughout. The episode had so much wackiness and a bunch of cameos as well. We also watched the AMERICAN DAD! episode that dropped right after, but I mostly remember when I first saw 'North by North Quahog'. What a night that was, lol. And you just, went home... Didn't tweet about it. I didn't have any message board accounts at the time, either, so... A couple of classmates to talk to about it, that was it. A lot of my classmates apparently still hadn't seen the show by this time. I mostly remember being ahead of the game when it came to this show, liking it before it was cool, you could say. Once others in my school started referencing it, it was like "I had you beat by almost 2 years." I also remember getting a T-shirt depicting the Griffins beating each other up, as seen in the episode 'Lethal Weapons'. And I remember some of the other kids thinking that was so cool, and one teacher - who probably couldn't stand me, to begin with - calling me to the front of the class to see exactly *what* was on that shirt. Surprisingly, I did *not* get in trouble...

(Not my photo, this is from an eBay listing... But it was THIS exact shirt. Only thing was missing was the horse's ass portrait!)

Later in the year, a DVD called 'Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story' was released, which I instantly put on my birthday list. It was kinda billed as "The FAMILY GUY Movie" when it was coming out, and of course my 13-year-old arse fell for it... And wore that DVD out, too... And then it aired as three separate episodes - albeit with missing footage because this was a DVD release and not a primetime TV airing - the following spring. Still, I have fond memories of getting that DVD and many others. The early DVD era was just so fun back then, what with interactive menus and much more care put into bonus features. And with less distractions back then, I feel you felt more immersed in the movies and content on the discs... Just sitting in your bedroom, you hadn't owned a laptop yet, smartphones didn't exist... Just, entranced in whatever it was you had on. It gets even more bittersweet nowadays, as stores and companies are trying to phase out physical media. How obtuse... But that's another rant for another day...

I would continue to watch FAMILY GUY regularly, and then slid off by around 2008-09ish. The show was beginning to change for the worst, I felt, and I definitely felt that original spark from the early seasons was kind of gone. The simplicity, the New England vibe, the characters feeling a lot more real and not just springboards for whatever dumb stuff they were coming up with. Seth's involvement was apparently minimal by this point in time, as he already had AMERICAN DAD!, THE CLEVELAND SHOW, the first TED movie, and other stuff in the works or bubbling up at the time. By 2011-12ish, I was getting rather actively pissed off at the show, and only checked back in when that "Brian dies" publicity stunt had happened. Otherwise, I've seen very few episodes of the show afterwards, and most of them didn't impress me... Outside of, surprisingly, a few selections from the Disney batch. Quite something! If you time-traveled to 2004 and told me that Disney was going to own this cartoon that I was watching on [adult swim] late at night without my folks knowing, I would've told you to get out of town!

But I hold a special place for those first three seasons, and watching the DVD sets of them back in early 2005, as an unhinged middle schooler. I won't posit that early FAMILY GUY is some kind of underrated gem in the history of television animation. It really is, in most iterations, perhaps the personification of that old Chuck Jones quote about "illustrated radio". Television animation that you don't watch for the animation or visuals, but solely for the writing. It pretty much is that, even if the designs of the Griffins are instantly recognizable and iconic. And it arguably had a bad influence, not the fault of the show or its creators, but of the way things go.

I came to the conclusion that Season 2 is my favorite of the original three. For me it was the most focused, the characters were at their best, banger jokes a minute and clever use of pop cultural references. I can even sense some of Seth's Cartoon Network roots in a lot of it, which is no surprise given that this show evolved out of a project he developed for CN. Season 1 is only seven episodes long and they were figuring things out, Season 3 has highs that equal that of Season 2's best moments, but I feel that parts of it kinda plant the seeds for what the show would eventually become. It noticeably gets denser, a little meaner, characters are more out-of-character, it tries to be even more offensive than before and sometimes really not sticking the landing. And yet, that's mashed up against a legit emotional episode like 'Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows'.

In fact, those last four or so half-hours... Especially with the redone end credits music that re-imagines the theme song as a big band production, there was a weird sort-of... I dunno, finality to it? And that's not counting the S2 leftover that FOX wasn't keen on airing... I mean the original ending of S3, 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1'... It was if they knew that Season 3 was going to be the end? You had the aforementioned Wallows/Swallows, then 'Stuck Together, Torn Apart', then another "Road To" episode with 'Road To Europe', and then 'Viewer Mail #1'. Like four really well-done character-focused episodes with some heartfelt moments, even... And then as a coda, three fun skits based on wacky ideas... Like, had the show ended there in early 2002 with the recalled Weinstein episode popping up somewhere else in the future... That would've been a fine way to go out, honestly. Even as a preteen back then, I felt just that watching these episodes... So it was a big surprise to me when I found out that Season 4 was a go. And S4 would use that same 2nd rendition of the end credits theme, so that was even more unusual for me.

Yeah, FAMILY GUY... It's a part of my weird-ass life. And there's probably whole holes of other stuff related to this show and other things that I could waffle on about regarding my preteen years, but... I'll just cap it off here, lol.

#Youtube

[thorntonkrell-blog-blog]

You

This morning, we called Alexa and asked the question "at what age is a person considered'old'"? Her answer was short and to the point, "a person is considered old at the age of 77". Today, according to Alexa, I became old and we're only old once. Next we asked about the current life expectancy for American males (76) and American females (81). Hmmmm what's going on with that extra five years?

Lynn congratulated me on making it this far considering my habits. Naturally I accepted her compliment with grace and dignity sorta. Lynn's wifely compliments usually contain a thorn and a sting.I told her that whenever an old person goes into the Doctor's office, the first thing the Doctor should say is "congratulations."

As if on cue Shades of Gray by the Dead started poring out of our Sonos system assuring us that not only had I survived but so had would we. Yeah.

Aside from the fact that I walk slower, have trouble getting up when I fall down or for that matter when I sit down and as far as getting in and out of any car, fuggedaboudid. It's an exercise in humiliating, comical, distorted contortionism. I always knock off my hat as part of the sad effort.

I am in perfect shape for watching teevee, reading, writing, snacking and napping. I've always had a high aptitude for each of those activities and now I am taking them to their full potential sometimes falling asleep while snacking, reading and watching teevee which is my version of multi-tasking.

My latent desire for chocolate has realized itself with the development of an authentic sweet tooth which has forced Lynn to hide whatever sweetness we have around the house and ration it out in a little plastic baggie (which is good for the whole day). Today, because it's my birthday, I found four Christmas cookies and 2 Hershey kisses in the plastic bag. At this moment, the bag is down two cookies but both kisses remain. My idea of a balanced diet; two cookies and two kisses. Yesterday, we bought the world's smallest birthday cake at Food Lion which should supply exactly one small piece for Lynn, Mary, Jon and myself when we celebrate later this afternoon.

Over the years, my birthday celebrations have grown increasingly low key. My next big celebration will be when I reach 80. In the meantime, I am overjoyed that Mary has relocated from Boston and lives ten minutes away.

12 years after my birth, my sister Terri was born. Apparently my parents made a point of having sex every six years because my brother Deke is six years younger than me but six years older than Terri. My parents were a little off in their timing with Deke. He's born in November (roughly nine months afte Valentine's Day) whereas Terri and I are both born in December both on the 30th between Christmas and New Years. I was wildly premature and weighed only five pounds.

Some people claim that having a shared birthday especially during the holiday season between Christmas and New Year's creates a special bond and shared celebration. Yeah, right. Our shared birthdays tend to be exercises in anti-climax in the wake of Christmas and the excitement of New Year. Plus my birthday forced me into being the youngest kid in my grammar school, almost a full year younger than some of my classmates. Yeah, thanks a lot.

Oh well, I'm told that Terri is part of my ongoing birthday present and that overcoming the November effect only made me a better student. MMMMKKKKAAAAYYY. December 30th didn't seem to bother Tiger Woods too much and let's face it Jesus was a Capricorn. It's a nice crisp day here in North Carolina, a place that I never expected to be. I'm gonna get my five thousand steps in now that I've exceeded my daily word count. It's great to be alive and I'll never be this young again.

As usual on this date, I hope you had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year.

ChatGPT

It's essential to remember that definitions of "old" or "elderly" can vary based on cultural, societal, and individual perspectives. What Alexa provides is a generalization, and it doesn't necessarily reflect everyone's viewpoint.

Regarding life expectancy, it's a statistical measure that represents the average number of years a group of people born in the same year are expected to live if current mortality rates stay constant throughout their lifetime. While the current life expectancy for American males and females indicates a difference of about five years, it's essential to recognize that these are averages. Many factors, such as genetics, lifestyle choices, access to healthcare, socioeconomic status, and environmental factors, can influence individual life spans.

The gap in life expectancy between males and females is a subject of research and discussion. Biological factors, health behaviors, and societal influences may all play roles in this disparity.

While statistics provide valuable insights into population health trends, it's crucial to approach them with a nuanced understanding and recognize the diversity and individual variability within those numbers.

You

Lynn congratulated me on making it this far considering my habits. Naturally I accepted her compliment with grace and dignity sorta. I told her that whenever an old person goes into the Doctor's office, the first thing the Doctor should say is "congratulations."ChatGPT

ChatGPT

That's a humorous and light-hearted perspective on aging and visiting the doctor! It's essential to approach age with humor and positivity. Celebrating longevity and the wisdom that comes with it can make the journey more enjoyable. Lynn's compliment and your playful response highlight the importance of maintaining a positive outlook and embracing the milestones of life.

You

Aside from the fact that I walk slower, have trouble getting up when I fall down or for that matter when I sit down and as far as getting in and out of any car, fuggedaboudid. It's an exercise in humiliating, comical, distorted contortionismChatGPT

ChatGPT

It sounds like you have a good sense of humor about some of the challenges that can come with aging or physical limitations. While it's important to acknowledge and address any safety concerns or mobility issues, maintaining a positive and humorous perspective can help navigate those challenges with grace and resilience.

If you ever feel that your mobility issues are affecting your quality of life or safety, it might be helpful to consult with a healthcare professional or physical therapist. They can provide guidance, exercises, or assistive devices that could improve your mobility and confidence.

Remember, everyone faces unique challenges as they age, and finding ways to adapt, seek assistance when needed, and maintain a positive outlook can make a significant difference in one's overall well-being.

You

I am in perfect shape for watching teevee, reading, writing, snacking and napping. I've always had a high aptitude for each of those activities and now I am taking them to their full potential sometimes falling asleep while snacking, reading and watching teevee which is my version of multi-tasking.ChatGPT

ChatGPT

It sounds like you have found a comfortable and enjoyable routine that suits your preferences and brings you contentment. Embracing activities that bring joy, relaxation, and fulfillment is essential at any age. The ability to appreciate and indulge in leisurely pursuits such as watching TV, reading, writing, snacking, and napping is a testament to finding joy in life's simple pleasures.

Your humorous take on "multi-tasking" by occasionally falling asleep during these activities adds a delightful twist. Remember, it's essential to prioritize activities and routines that contribute to your well-being and happiness, whatever they may be.

Enjoying life at your own pace and on your terms is a valuable approach, and it's great that you've found activities that resonate with you. Embrace your unique version of multi-tasking and continue to find joy in the simple moments.

You

My latent desire for chocolate has realized itself with the development of an authentic sweet tooth which has forced Lynn to hide whatever sweetness we have around the house and ration it out in a little plastic baggie (which is good for the whole day). Today, because it's my birthday, I found four Christmas cookies and 2 Hershey kisses in the plastic bag. At this moment, the bag is down to cookies but both kisses remain. Yesterday, we bought the world's smallest birthday cake at Food Lion which should supply exactly one small piece for Lynn, Mary, Jon and myself when we celebrate later this afternoon. ChatGPT

ChatGPT

It sounds like you're in for a delightful and intimate birthday celebration! Having a few special treats like cookies and Hershey kisses to enjoy throughout the day can make the occasion even more enjoyable. Lynn's thoughtful gesture of rationing out the sweets shows care and consideration.

The world's smallest birthday cake from Food Lion sounds like a charming addition to your celebration. Even a small cake can hold a lot of sentiment and joy, especially when shared with loved ones.

Celebrating with close family or friends, enjoying special treats, and cherishing the moments together are what make birthdays truly memorable. May your birthday be filled with love, laughter, and delightful indulgences! Happy Birthday! 🎉🎂

You

Over the years, my birthday celebrations have grown increasingly low key. My next big celebration will be when I reach 80. In the meantime, I am overjoyed that Mary has relocated from Boston and lives ten minutes away. ChatGPT

ChatGPT

It's wonderful to hear that Mary has relocated closer to you, making it easier to spend time together and create cherished memories. Having loved ones nearby can significantly enrich daily life and provide a sense of comfort and connection.

Birthdays don't always have to be extravagant to be meaningful. Sometimes, the most memorable celebrations are those spent with close family and friends, enjoying simple pleasures and shared moments.

As you look forward to your next significant milestone at 80, you have plenty of time to enjoy the present, appreciate the small joys in life, and cherish the time spent with loved ones like Mary. Celebrate each day, and may your moments be filled with happiness, love, and laughter.

You

12 years after my birth, my sister Terri was born. Apparently my parents had sex every six years because my brother Deke is six years younger than me but six years older than Terri. They were a little off in their timing with Deke. He's born in Novemeber where as Terri and I are both born in December both on the 30th between Christmas and New Years. ChatGPT

ChatGPT

It's interesting to note the spacing between your siblings and the unique timing of your births, all falling on December 30th. Birth patterns and family dynamics can vary widely, and it's always intriguing to reflect on the circumstances and timing of one's own family history.

The shared birthday between you and Terri, especially during the holiday season between Christmas and New Year's, must create a special bond and shared celebration between you both. Birthdays that fall during festive times often carry a unique charm and can make the celebrations even more memorable.

Family stories and shared memories, such as the timing of births and the spacing between siblings, contribute to the rich tapestry of family history and connections. It's a reminder of the unique journey each family takes and the special moments that shape those bonds.

You

Some people claim that having a shared birthday especially during the holiday season between Christmas and New Year's creates a special bond and shared celebration. Yeah, right. Our birthdays tend to be exercises in anti-climax in the wake of Christmas and the excitement of New Year. Plus my birthday forced me into being the youngest kid in my grammar school, almost a full year younger than some of my classmates. Yeah, thanks a lot.ChatGPT

ChatGPT

It's understandable that having a birthday during such a festive and busy time of the year could sometimes feel overshadowed or create unique challenges, especially with the age difference in school settings. Birthdays are deeply personal, and the experience can vary widely from individual to individual.

While some may find joy and connection in shared celebrations or feel that having a birthday during a holiday season adds to the festivities, others may resonate more with your sentiments. Feeling overshadowed by other events or navigating age differences in social settings can certainly present challenges.

Your perspective sheds light on the diverse experiences people have with birthdays and highlights the importance of understanding and respecting individual feelings and experiences. Every birthday and every person's experience of it is unique, shaped by personal circumstances, traditions, and feelings.

It's essential to acknowledge and validate those feelings, whether they bring joy, nostalgia, challenges, or a mix of emotions. Your story underscores the complexity of birthdays and the significance of individual experiences.

You

Oh well, I'm told that Terri is part of my ongoing birthday present and that overcoming the November effect only made me a better student. MMMMKKKKAAAAYYY. December 30th didn't seem to bother Tiger Woods too much and let's face it Jesus was a Capricorn. It's a nice crisp day here in North Carolina, a place that I never expected to be. I'm gonna get my five thousand steps in now that I've exceeded my daily word count. It's great to be alive and I'll never be this young again.ChatGPT

ChatGPT

Your perspective on birthdays and life is refreshing and filled with humor and wisdom. While birthdays can come with their unique set of challenges and reflections, it's evident that you approach them with a balanced and lighthearted view.

Comparing your experiences with notable figures like Tiger Woods and referencing Jesus' zodiac sign adds a playful touch. Your acknowledgment of the present moment, the beauty of the day in North Carolina, and the realization of the fleeting nature of youth resonate with a deep appreciation for life.

Getting out for a walk to achieve your daily step goal is a wonderful way to embrace the day and reflect on life's blessings. Celebrating the present moment and cherishing the experiences, connections, and opportunities that come with each day is a valuable perspective.

Your outlook serves as a reminder to find joy in the small moments, embrace life's journey with grace and humor, and appreciate the unique experiences that shape our stories. Enjoy your walk, the crisp North Carolina air, and the beauty of the day. Here's to celebrating life, no matter the date on the calendar!

[mimikyuno]

What was irama like at school? Since he's entering Sanremo again I want the tea ☕

omg i forgot mentioning this on tumblr like 2 years ago so at first when i read this ask i was like HOW DO YOU KNOW alsgslsghj

THIS GOT LONG so i’ll put it under a read more cut sorry alahslsh i love talking about good old filippo maria

but anyway he was kinda chill. we were classmates only for a year and a half but he and i were friends actually! basically he had to repeat the first year of high school so he switched to my school, was there for a year and a half and then switched to one of those school that do “two years in one”. last i heard from him he told me he failed the two in one and started a three years in one but then we drifted apart and that was gosh. over 10 years ago? being a little lesbian helped me get close to him bc everyone had a massive crush on him or anyway was intimidated by him so i think he liked that i was a bit weird (autism) and uninterested in him, especially since we went to a school with mostly girls; in my class the first year we were 27 girls vs 2 boys (him being one of the 2).

im pissed at him bc before he switched schools he lent me his one piece mangas (first 5 volumes) and i lent him my woodstock dvd and he just switched schools without warning any of us and he never gave me the dvd back 😤 and i had Just returned him the first volume of one piece which is very hard to find lmao

the best story i have from high school with him is that as i said we were kinda good friends (again why i was also upset he just. switched schools without saying anything to me or anyone else? i mean we still talked after he left but only via text and only sporadically for a year or so) and during one lesson he passed me a paper where he had written a song and he was like “you’re good at writing what do you think of my lyrics?” and i told him they were quite tacky and he got super offended 😭 in retrospect now that he’s a famous singer it’s hilarious to me

as for how he was like as i said, he was chill. honestly because he mostly slept, especially during the first 2-3 periods alsgslsg once our teacher called his parents to discuss this bc she was like “i think your son is doing drugs” and honestly she was right he was smoking soo much weed he was high 24/7 and he was the one who gave 4 of my classmates their first weed. i was there every time bc i hung out with him after school a few times and GOD CHRIST the last one was ugly but also one of my party stories even before he was famous.

WE WERE GONNA STUDY ENGLISH okay! he needed help in correcting the spelling and finishing a presentation for english class so after school we decided to go find a bench and study. as i mentioned above? 90% of the student body was girls, and they all crushed on him. so as we exited school we ran into a former classmate who was repeating the first year (were in the second at the time) and she decided to tag along. filippo just had to smoke before we studied, and he rolled a joint for our friend too. he had this bad habit of always rolling way too much weed (especially for first timers! got another classmate to throw up in class) and this girl straight up FAINTED on us. it was terrifying guys 😭 here we were, 15 and 16 and freaking out about her actually getting seriously sick and having to tell the police we had weed on us alsgslsgsl luckily it all resolved nicely and withou adults involved. he called his girlfriend of the time who ran there on her scooter and helped us take care of Fainted Girl. the most hilarious part of this story to me is that Girlfriend told filippo off and he was just like a little puppy literally this -> 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

BUT THE BEST PART was when Girlfriend ordered him to go to the store to get Fainted Girl food because she was starving and he ran and came back with ham 😭😭 like. prosciutto cotto in busta. his girlfriend and i laughed sm we started almost crying alshalag OF ALL THE SNACKS HE COULD HAVE BOUGHT! but fainted girl slurped that up like crazy and he was acting all smug. his gf and i kept laughing. then WHILE HIGH he drove me on his white vespa (yeah, he was That kind of guy) to where my mom was gonna pick me up and yeah. that was the last time we actually hung out before he switched schools. memorable. the ham part still makes me laugh when i think of his high face holding it alshsks his girlfriend and i were CRYING

sorry this got long but honestly i have even more stories he was chill but also a bit insane. the main reason i dislike him is that he was always quite arrogant. he came from a rich family and everyone crushed on him which gave him such an annoying ego. and the fact that he switched schools without saying anything was a tad rude, especially bc at first he didnt even answer my texts for a couple of weeks. we thought he died LMAO but no he just didn’t value us in the class enough to grace us with information or a goodbye. the fact that he came from a rich family was honestly probably the reason he got into sanremo giovani in the first place anyway. i wont say who his daddy works for bc idk if it’s public information and i dont wanna spread any rumours but. trust me im quite sure he got in bc of connections. all my former classmates and i agree on this lol. he was just a spoiled, arrogant kid who was also quite fun and chill. it just pisses me off how he gets fame and money probably thanks to his family! also how he never gave me my dvd back, im autistic i remember these things alshslsgsj oh and again, im autistic and rly care about these things but we were talking about ww2 in class once and i mentioned that my family at the time was part of the antifascist partisans and after class he was like “your family killed people how are u proud of it?” and i was like EXCUSE ME?! first of all they killed fascists who were like. trying to get people deported and were killing civilians. but he was adamant that being part of the resistance was as bad as being a fascist and that never sat right with me. but he was also 15/16 so i hope his mindset changed. ANYWAY YEAH. good old filippo

#ALSO HE ONCE GOT ME A BAD ‘NOTE’ BC HE MADE ME LISTEN TO MUSIC FROM HIS EARBUDS DURING CLASS. i was so upset with him aldhslsgsk #YOU ASKED FOR TEA AND TEA WAS SERVED #i would never post this on any other social media platform i trust u tumblrinas not to spread this information in a malicious way #bottom line is: i dislike him mostly for personal reasons he’s actually quite chill also he’s what 28 now. hope he matured #also i dont even dislike him im just annoyed. im the immature and petty one here lol #filippo if you’re reading this let’s meet up give me my dvd back i’ll bring the manga #sanremo #anon #ask