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bouncybongfairy · 7 months

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Late Night At Fazbear's

Mike Schmidt x Fem Reader

Summary: Mike is an ex-coworker with whom you have a situationship with. Knowing about your interest in arcade games, he invites you to visit him at an abandoned pizzeria to check it out. Things get a little heated before you get a chance to look around.

Word Count: 2.5k+

(!This is a smut fanfic, you’ve been warned!)

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

You were working on some last-minute statistics homework after you got out of the shower. It was a Friday night and even though you got an offer from your friend group to go out, you decided to stay home. Going to house party after party was getting annoying. Half the time, the only people there were drunk frat boys trying to get some before their whiskey dick kicked in. Being a wing girl for your friends was fun the first thirty times but now you’d rather stay home. Things in your life seemed so stagnant, it was like all you did was school, work, then bumming it at home. Like you were some uncharismatic dad in a sitcom. Suddenly your phone goes off, which breaks you out of the trance you were in. When you answered, you immediately recognized the voice to be Mike from the pizza place you guys used to work at together. You thought it was kinda weird that he was calling you so randomly but you did talk often when working together. For reasons that still are unclear, you answered.

“Hey! Sorry I know this is- it’s kinda random but can you talk for a second?” his voice spoke over the receiver.

“Yeah, I’m just hanging out at home. What’s up?” you asked, now standing up to pace around your room.

“Oh cool cool, so kinda weird to explain but bear with me here. Remember how you were super obsessed with the old arcade games we had in the back of the pizza shop? Anyway, I got this new job at an old pizzeria and there’s a bunch of old games and animatronics. I was thinking while I’m working the graveyard shift you could maybe swing by for an hour or two and check it out with me?” His voice was so sweet and soft-spoken that you couldn’t help but blush over the phone. You coiled your finger around the wire of the landline.

“Umm, yeah that sounds kinda fun actually, when are you there till?” you asked with a hint of a smirk on your face.

“My shift starts at 12 am and ends at 6 am, no pressure. Obviously, I’ll be here all night,” he laughed.

“Yeah, I’ll call you right before I leave okay?” you asked softly.

“Yeah that’s perfect, I’ll see you then,” he said.

You put the phone back on its hook and check the time on your alarm clock. To your dismay, you’d been studying for two hours and it was 10:50. Luckily you’d already showered but that wasn’t the problem. Internally, you were going through a moral dilemma. Part of you was telling yourself that he was just a coworker that got attached and another part, wanted to do your hair and make-up and hair before going. Making sure that every strand sat just right as if he’d somehow notice. To make sure your eyelashes have the exact amount of mascara they need to be long but not clumpy. If you thought all these things, wouldn’t that mean you do care what he thinks of you? Although you were bubbling with a mix of nervousness and anticipation, you managed to finish getting ready. You start packing your bag, pacing around looking for all your items. Car keys, pocket knife, compact, body spray, and your wallet. As you went to take the cartoon of cigarettes from your bedside table, you thought about taking the joint that was rolled. Sitting on your knees in front of your nightstand, you start dialing Mike’s number to let him know you are on the way. After shoving all the contents into the bag, you make your way outside and start your Mazda. You were sitting in the car for a few moments, thinking about if you were really going.

Once you pulled into the parking lot, thoughts of regret started to bubble in your brain. You would have turned around if it weren’t for Mike’s car being in the parking lot. You checked the time on the radio and saw that it was only 12:57, was it weird that you were there so early? You were slightly worried that it would look desperate. Deciding to let that unneeded anxiety go, you get out of the car and lock your doors. Take a moment to take in the outside of the building. It appeared to be severely unkempt, brown vines covered most of the building. Due to the unsettling vibe of the building, the bear that was supposed to look cute and inviting was the exact opposite. Creating an ominous feeling as it waved at you. The walls were mostly a dull yellow color with red and blue accents and a black and white checkered line across the middle. One of the R’s of the sign was out, only adding to the sketchy feeling. You knocked on the big metal doors, wiping your knuckles off on your jeans. When Mike swung the door open, it made you jump and gasp. This caused him to break out into a fit of laughter. You playfully pushed his shoulder back.

He took you back to the small room where he was monitoring all the security footage. The room was more creepy than the outside of the building. You sat down on the desk and Mike plopped down on his office chair. He was completely slouched back, wearing a gray thermal and a dark hooded sweater. His hair was more curly than shaggy and he had a five o’clock shadow. You set your purse on the desk and stood up, looking at the security cameras. One of the first things you noticed was the group of animatronics that were standing on the stage together. It was then that you realized what you really had gotten yourself into.

He was surprised that you even came, yes you guys had become close while working together but he didn’t think it would lead to anything after. You were currently facing away from him, and he couldn’t help but admire you as you did so. He liked the fact that you were so well put together. Your jeans were fitted perfectly and your thong peaked out slightly from the top of your waistband. When you entered the small room, the entire space began to smell like apple-scented perfume. The white long sleeve was also very fitted, which brought attention to your figure. You turned around once you noticed it had been silent for a while. Grabbing your purse, you pull out the cartoon of cigs. Bringing the lighter to it and taking a drag to light it. After taking a couple of puffs you pass it to Mike who leans forward with a groan. As he took his hit, a piece of ash fell onto his pants. You leaned down and brushed it off his knee.

“So much for cutting back right?” he asked rhetorically.

“Oh yeah, I did switch to Spirits though. My grandma swore by these,” you said taking it back.

“Do you smoke weed?” he asked, you laughed and started digging through your bag and pulled out the Altoids container, grabbing the joint.

“Will you get in trouble? For like, smoking on the job?” you asked.

“Oh no, this place is abandoned. There’s usually nobody in and out of here that would notice,” he said.

You lit the joint and took a deep drag, blowing the smoke at his face playfully. He laughed as he took the joint into his hands and inhaled. You put the cig out on the glass ashtray that sat on the desk. He commented on how good the flower tasted which made you relieved knowing he didn’t think it was reggie. You guys started talking about memories of working together. You guys would always take smoke breaks together and go to lunch every once and a while. Mike actually listened to what you had to say. He wasn’t the type of person that constantly changed to a conversation with himself. A lot of guys you spoke with were usually just telling you whatever you wanted to hear. Everything you had to say was so fascinating and impressive because they were just trying to butter you up. Mike would actually give his opinions on things and would tell you if he thought what you were saying was stupid. It was refreshing, to be honest, to have an interaction with the opposite sex without them drooling on you. You glanced over at Mike, maybe it was the weed but something felt different now. The way his legs were spread so widely made something in you feel hot. Eyes were now bloodshot, making the hazel color stand out even more than before. When he reached for the joint again, his hand brushed over yours. This made you make eye contact with him but then break away once the awkwardness set in. You looked down and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Are you still with Jackson?” he asked.

“What? Oh yeah, we broke up a while ago,” you said, rubbing your arm.

“Well, what happened? I mean… If you don’t mind me asking,” he said.

“No it’s- he just..” you took a deep inhale and spoke as the smoke poured out of your mouth, “he was really aggressive like, not just with his words. Not saying he beat me or anything but some things are meant to be more sweet and gentle. Sorry, I don’t know why I'm telling you this,” you said, passing it back.

“No, I’m the one who brought it up. He always was a little misogynistic when we talked, I’m sorry you were subjected to that,” he said. You were sitting on the desk, you kicked off your sandals and gently swung your legs back and forth.

“Yeah, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” you sighed.

“For sure, you could do so much better than that,” he said.

“Oh yeah? When you say better what do you mean by that?” you asked, leaning over to grab the joint.

“Like if you said he was overly aggressive then you’ll find someone that is more gentle and shit,” he said, chuckling a little.

“Oh, I see,” you moved your foot so that it was resting on his inner thigh before continuing, “Maybe you could show me?” you asked flirtatiously, he looked up and looked at you with a shocked expression.

You used your leg to roll him closer to where you were sitting. He was now smirking, looking up at you. He let his hands slide up both your outer thighs. He pulled you off the desk so that you were now sitting in his lap facing him. You still had the joint in your hand, you took a hit before letting it sit on the ashtray. Your noses were touching and you were relieved to see that his breath was as fast as yours. Running your fingers through his hair, forcing his head to tilt back a little. You ran your bottom lip across his, arching your back and pressing your crotches together. He picked you up which caused you to wrap your legs around his waist. He set you on the desk again so that he was standing, hovering over you. You reached your hands down between your bodies, trying to unbuckle his belt. He stopped the kiss and chuckled at your eagerness and helped you. As you unzipped his jeans, one of his arms reached behind you and undid the clasps of your bra. The way he unhooked it with one hand made you throb. He pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in nothing but jeans. He still had his jeans on but now that his pants were undone, you could feel how hard he was through his boxers. It was like the heat coming off his dick was making your stomach feel warm and tight. Before he buried his face into your chest, the look on his face was almost primal. Like it was taking everything he had to keep his hands off of you. He took one of your breasts into his mouth and sucked, biting down every once in a while. He reached into his backpack that was sitting on the desk and pulled out a condom. He was breathing heavily and a couple of drips of sweat were beading down his forehead. As you unzipped your jeans you looked over at the security camera and thought you saw one of the animatronics move from the stage. You pulled away for a second to show him,

“Mike, I know we smoked and everything. Oh my god, I know this is going to be crazy but I swear I just saw one of those… things moved,” you said as he trailed kisses up your shoulder.

“This is my third day here and I think that all the time. It’s just your head playing tricks on us because of how creepy they look,” he said, then tearing the foil package open.

“Are you sure because I could have..” you started but then were interrupted by Mike throwing the still-packaged condom onto the desk and pressing a button that made both doors close around you. He then got down on his knees and gripped the top of your jeans, pulling them down. Instead of trying to pull your panties off of you, he simply pulls them to the side. Sticking his tongue in between your folds, massaging your clit. You had been in a dry spell since you broke up with Jackson and even then, he would never go down on you. The feeling of his mouth pressed against you was so euphoric, the moans that came out of your mouth were completely natural and unrehearsed. His pace was slow but he kept a steady rhythm which helped you chase to your climax. Instead of pulling at his hair, you cupped his face, gently stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. He looked up and made direct eye contact with you. His eyebrows were furrowed but when he saw the look on your face, his eyes closed and he groaned loudly. He grabbed your ankles and pushed your legs back so that your feet were now on the desk. You grabbed two fistfuls of hair and threw your head back, moaning loudly. The pressure of the top of your thighs being pressed into your lower stomach. Crying out as you cum, the moans came out strangled. As you started to come down from the wave of ecstasy, you began to feel insecure about how fast he made you cum.

“God you are so fucking hot, like seriously I almost came in my boxers,” he said standing up and grabbing the condom. His lips were parted and his mouth was still covered in saliva. Without wiping his mouth, he slid the rubber onto his shaft.

“Sorry, do you want to keep going?” he asked, you didn’t verbally respond. Instead, you grabbed him by his shirt and smashed your mouth into his. He moaned the word ‘fuck’ into your mouth before continuing kissing. He broke away to look down and line himself up with your entrance. You were still wet and swollen from the previous orgasm, enabling him to slide in with you easily. He dropped his forehead down on your shoulder, mouth open and moaning as he slowly started rocking back and forth into you. You scooted your ass down so that you could fully be pressed against his hips. The desk was continuously banging up against the wall. Your foreheads were now pressed together groaning and growling into each other’s mouth. Everything suddenly came to a halt when everything went dark. You both jump and start looking for any articles of clothing that are nearby. The big metal doors on both sides of you slam open so loud, that your ears start ringing.

“What the fuck just happened!” you exclaim.

“The battery died,” he realizes.

“Well has that ever happened while you’re working?” you asked.

“No,” he stated.

“Holy fuck, do you hear that fucking music?” you whispered.

#fnaf fanfic #josh hutcherson fnaf #fnaf x reader #mike schmidt fnaf #mike schmidt x reader #michael schmidt #michael schmidt x y/n #mike schmidt

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softsky-daily · 2 months

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3/9/2024

On Miku Day I think it's very fitting to watch the sky deepen into blue as time passed.

Positive thing: Conversation Table went well again today, and I got good food.

It was nice to be away from grad school stuff and focus on something entirely different, and everyone seems to appreciate it which is cool too. At the same time it makes me sharply aware that my schedule is packed to the brim in a way that theirs isn't. I show my various checklists and my calendar to friends who aren't from my classes and I see them physically balk. I always wonder if my time management is just off, and it probably is to some extent - but what was I supposed to sacrifice? Even more of my limited rest time? Needing to eat? I remember emailing my professor for help for something one time and she said if I was having trouble I should've emailed earlier. But how was I supposed to know I needed help before I realized I needed help?

I was also surprised by another thing recently. That there were people who never experienced depression for long periods of time, who never experienced keen anxiety, who never thought seriously about wanting to die. I guess surprise isn't the right word. I know logically people like that exist, and technically, statistically are the majority. But I couldn't comprehend a life like that. Not that I don't think those people don't have struggles or genuine hardships of their own, but being mentally ill really shifts how you have to approach things in life or take care of yourself. It takes an enormous amount of effort during times like these where I'm stressed to find the worth in continuing. I can't fathom what ease there must be for people who never have to contend with those kinds of feelings.

Well. I suppose it's not really an ease. It must hit a lot harder when you're going through a difficult time and to you it's genuinely the worst thing that's ever happened. I've seen friends distressed over things I experience often and feel numbed to. I never think what they feel should be minimized because obviously the enormity of those feelings, regardless of the reason they come up, are very real. It's just different.

But anyway. I'm just going through it. Today wasn't bad by any means aside from the mental health issues. Dinner was good - we went to the Chinese place nearby and the lady gave us these rice cakes that were delicious, and the other food was good as usual too.

My dad also sent us more groceries (rather, he bought them and I picked them up at Sam's), so I should hopefully be set for a while food-wise. It was hard to not have a lot of easy-to-make meals like frozen food available since I have very little energy and time to cook most days. But now there's lots of frozen fried rice and other things.

I'm skipping going to the beach with my friends to sleep and honestly that's probably the better option. I have lots of homework to do too but I'll take it one project at a time, so I only need to finish one of them by tomorrow, and then I can focus on the others more next week. But yeah time to sleep. Byeee

#skyposting #thoughtposting #foodposting

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muhgie · 2 years

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math is such a huge trigger for me. i remember being in middle school trying so hard to understand math but in class i would completely zone out and everything would be a blur. then when my teacher tried to help me and i couldnt understand it, she would get frustrated and then i would cry and she wouldn't be able to help me. then when my mom tried to help me with my homework she would do the exact same thing. so now in my statistics class i'm having the same issue where i cannot grasp anything at all, dont know what questions to ask, etc. and then once i have to do the work i break down and cry because i cant figure anything out. i have that inner critic telling me how stupid i am and how i'll never be able to pass the class. that i should be able to understand it and be better at it. that im just choosing to not understand the math. but i just cant get it. i try and try and i cant do it

and i cant avoid doing the homework because i refuse to take this class again. i have my uncle helping me, a zoom meeting with my professor tomorrow, and a tutor session next week. but the exam is on wednesday and i dont think i am going to pass it

not to mention that when we do problems in class i cant even figure out what i need help with because i am just naturally very slow to figure math out. so by the time i have questions, we'll be three lessons ahead and then i dont understand any of it because everything in math is connected. i hate it so much

whenever people try to explain math to me and ask me if i understand it i have to say no, because i dont undertsand it. but when they get visibly frustrated or irritated (or i come to the conclusion that my inability to understand it is inconveniencing them) then i just lie and tell them that i think that i understand what theyre saying when i really dont at all.

which is unfair, i shouldnt be assuming that everyone is just as impatient with me as my mother is

i wish she would have been more understanding. she is an engineer so she gets math, and she gave me no wiggle room when i tried to understadn it. she wouldnt even give me encouragement like, "its okay maggie you'll get it. i'll help you." she just stopped helping me and sent me to Kumon. and then she got upset that she spent so much money sending me there only for my grades to not improve. when all they did was shove me in a corner all alone making me repeat my times tables over and over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also I DID NOT NEED AN IEP!!!!!!!! I NEEDED THERAPY!!!!!! AND CPS!!! MY DAD ALMOST DIED IN A CAR CRASH WHEN I STARTED MIDDLE SCHOOL AAAAAANDDDDDDD I WAS BEING MOLESTEDDDDDDDDDDD

i am so angry at how poorly my situation was handled when i was a child. those catholic school fucks had no understanding of what an abused child needs. i should have been helped but i just got put in a room with an old lady with catholic brainrot telling me that i had an "emotional impairment." blaming me for my constant emotional outbursts of sobbing and hyperventilating in class because i was so afraid of going home and being abused by alcoholics. and my dad was disabled for years after his accident so i wasnt about to tell him about my abuse. on top of the fact that i was hayleys personal punching bag.

so yeah its hard for me to understand math because it reminds me of being sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused

i just hope that with all of the help that i am getting, i'll be able to pass this class. i think that as long as i tell my prof/tutor/uncle that i might have to take breaks if i start to cry then it will be alright. i have to take research methods next semester but hopefully i wont have to be calculating the fucking degrees of freedom or whatever.

#angry #angry angry angry #txt #tw csa

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blazeofbrownie · 2 years

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Becoming East and West

It's crazy how a single moment changed our lives. There we were, two ten year olds, sitting in our respective classes, listening to our teachers drone on about fractions or something, I can't quite remember, but then our names were called out over the PA system, requesting us to make our way to the principal's office.

I assumed the worst, something had happened to Mom or Dad, I remember slowly rising from my chair and trotting to the hallway and there you were, exiting your own class.

“Why do you think Ms Hall wants us?”

I simply shrugged my shoulders as we walked side by side to her office. My assumption grew when the secretary put her arms around us both and ushered us in to the principal's office. I wondered whether you thought the same as I did? Whether our twin telepathy, that always worked when we least expected it, made us think the same thing? I never did ask you.

We took our seats in front of the desk, I caught a glimpse of Ms Hall, speaking to a uniformed man and that's when I knew, something had indeed happened. My hand reached for yours, needing to give you the support and needing it myself. I couldn't bring my eyes up until Ms Hall sat before us, her expression was sad and then she broke the fateful news to us.

“Antonio, Arianna, there's been an accident, I'm so sorry but both of your parents are no more.”

Your hand returned the squeeze my hand gave, I could feel my eyes welling as I dropped my gaze to my lap, I could hear you mumbling and sniffling so I turned to put my arm around you. We sat there crying until a social worker appeared, telling us we'd have to be taken in to foster care until our next of kin could be located.

But that was an issue wasn't it? We didn't have any next of kin, Mom's parents had passed away some time ago, so had our grandmother on Dad's side. No one knew where our grandfather was. No aunts or uncles, not even a godparent. We were alone. Alone but together. She began explaining the processes involved in getting us housed with a carer, what would that mean for us? Would we remain in foster care until we turned 18? She never hid the statistics of a ten year old child getting adopted, which were dismal, so the chances of twins being adopted were slim to none, especially not by the same family. What would happen to us? What if we were separated? What if I lost you and became truly alone? My thoughts had made me cling to you, I couldn't lose you too, and I knew you thought the same because you held on to me just as tight, and they could see it too, they had to, they had no choice.

A silent prayer of two orphaned children was answered. We'd been in foster care for all of three weeks when the social worker showed up at the door, I'd thought she was there to take us to another place, because we hadn't settled in this home properly. We weren't eating, we sat quietly together when doing our homework and even when we weren't, we didn't talk to the other kids, even when they wanted to play with us. Maybe they'd had enough of us? I was mistaken.

We were being adopted, both of us, and not just by a single person but by a couple who already had two older children. I couldn't help but think why? Why would someone who had children already want more kids? More importantly, why did they want us?

The answers didn't matter in the end. We were escorted out of the foster home to the driveway and there they were, Ezio and Valentina Falco, the people who wanted to adopt us. I remember I looked over at you and you'd looked at me, and you voiced what I was thinking.

“If we don't try then we won't know.”

The Falcos took us to their home, and it was a big home, they sat us in their spacious living room as they filled out the necessary paperwork with the social worker, it wasn't until she left that they finally sat in front of us, they looked at us rather warily if I admitted. It was Valentina who spoke.

“We know you're scared and you probably don't trust anyone but that's okay, we will do everything we can to give you the best lives ever.”

She looked over at her husband and it seemed like they were exchanging silent words, Ezio cleared his throat then spoke.

“We’re not your average family, and we can't have you be part of the family without us sharing our biggest secret. See we're…vampires, but you don't need to be afraid of us, we don't kill and we drink from blood bags. Our…children are half vampire too. If this secret gets out, who knows what can happen. If we wanted to, we could force you to keep it, but we don't want to that, we want you to decide on your own.”

The look on their faces was enough to know they weren't lying, and it begged more questions, why would they tell us that? Why not just hide the truth and pretend? Then it bought me back to my original question, why did they want us? I looked over at you, and I wondered what you were thinking. They left us alone to think about it. Maybe we should say no? Go and live with another foster family, a 'normal' family, but then you spoke the voice of reason as your hand reached out for mine.

“If we say no then we won't find this again Ant, no one will want to have two kids who refused adoption especially since we can't tell the authorities their truth, it isn't our place and really, what do we have to lose?”

I couldn't answer because two people entered the room, we looked over at them, they were children but there was also something different about them. I deduced that these were the Falco children. The boy stood in front of us, he smiled the warmest smile I'd ever seen, as his hand stayed on his sister's shoulder.

“I'm Dante, and this is Serafina. You don't need to worry about anything, we'll look after you.”

We both stood up and as I looked up at him, I knew he was telling the truth, I knew we could trust him, so I turned to you and just nodded my head.

Dante's mother…our new mother entered the room again, one hand reached for Dante's shoulder while the other rested on yours.

“We’re a family now, and it will be the best decision you've ever made. The four of you will always need to stick together. I already had two points on the compass of my heart but now it's whole. North and South…”

She looked from Dante to Serafina then from you to me.

“…East and West. As long as you're together then you can accomplish anything.”

She left us alone and I looked over at Dante and at that point I knew that we'd never be alone again.

So if you lost a sister, someone's lost a mom, and if you lost a dad then someone's lost a son, and they're all missing out, yeah they're all missing out, so if you get a second to look down on me now, Mom, Dad I'm just missing you now

https://t.co/lYnETIOlYH

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helliontherapscallion · 3 years

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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 1)

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (Part 2) Friday Saturday Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, homophobia (f slurs and d slur), panic attacks, toxic friends, mentions of attempted suicide/getting told to kill yourself

Word count: 6,377

(A/N): ok, so I definitely got carried away with this, so I had to split Thursday into two parts. If I kept it in one part, it’d probs be like 10k-11k words long lmao

You woke up feeling strangely more refreshed than usual. Glancing at your clock, you saw that you actually woke up about thirty minutes before your alarm went off. You got a whopping twelve hours of sleep, a stark contrast from your recent sleep schedule consisting of no more than four hours a night. You felt like you could rule the world with how much energy you had. Sure, you felt anxiety pooling in your stomach like you usually did and you had a terrible dream about Haley rejecting you and getting completely outed to the entire school, but that did not stop you from throwing your covers off your bed and walking down the hall to the kitchen with the most confidence you’ve had since starting high school.

When you got to the kitchen, you saw a dead looking Uncle Schlatt slumped at the table chugging coffee and a chipper Philza trying to make conversation. Usually, you would’ve joined Schlatt in being dead inside, but today was different. You were filled to the brim with energy that you haven’t had in years. As you walked through the door, their heads turned towards you.

“Mornin Dad, mornin Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle merely grunted before going back to guzzling down his coffee. Your dad smiled at you, “well, looks like someone’s well rested.”

“Yeah, I got like twelve hours of sleep last night.”

“Glad to hear it, hun. You really needed it.”

“Glad to hear someone’s feeling well rested,” your uncle grumbled into his coffee.

“Schlatt, don’t be such a downer all the time,” Philza rolled his eyes at your uncle.

“Fuck you Phil, I’m a ball of fuckin sunshine. Ain’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, Dad, I don’t know what you’re talkin about. Uncle Schlatt’s the heart and soul of this house. Even if he doesn’t live here.”

Schlatt gave a booming laugh, “suck it Phil. And that, (y/n), is why you’re my favorite niece.”

“At least I’m someone’s- wait. I’m your only niece.”

“Still my favorite niece!”

You grinned happily, that was better than nothing. “Love ya, Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle’s cocky grin turned more sincere and he diverted his full attention to you, “love ya too, kid.”

“Love each other quieter, you woke me up.” Wilbur’s tired voice complained as he walked into the room and slumped into his chair next to Schlatt. Schlatt clapped a hand onto his shoulder and rustled his hair.

“My man! How’s Sally, huh?”

Wilbur flushed red and started sputtering as Philza turned his confused gaze to his son. “Who’s Sally, Wilbur?”

You couldn’t leave your brother high and dry when he accepted you for being yourself so readily yesterday, so you quickly jumped in for him. “Sally’s just one of his friends at school. They’re job shadowing together for their project. Right, Wilbur?” You turned towards the flustered man with a somewhat forced smile and raised eyebrows. He looked at you with immense relief and nodded vigorously, his hair flopping onto his forehead.

“Yes! We’re planning on job shadowing our band director, he said that it’d be a good idea if we want to major in music.”

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me about her before! You should invite her over for dinner, I’d love to meet her!” Oh, your dad did not buy your terrible excuse for Wilbur, that man is like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out lies. Poor, poor Wilbur.

Despite the blush remaining on his cheeks, Wilbur seemed to think that Philza actually bought his weak excuse. “I’ll invite her over soon. Does Friday night next week work?”

Philza grinned cheekily, “yes! I can’t believe you haven’t brought her over sooner if you’re close enough to job shadow with her!”

At this point, Schlatt’s face was cherry red with his almost failed attempt to hold in his laughter. “I’m not missin this. Me an’ Tubbs are comin over next Friday.”

Wilbur still hasn’t noticed that they hadn’t bought it, you thought he was more perceptive than that. Eventually, Philza started to make breakfast and conversation lulled into a comfortable silence as everybody waited for Techno, Tommy, and Tubbo. Deciding to pull out your phone, you scrolled through your notifi- wait. Why did you have forty-two messages from Adrian and Sammy? Why did they make a groupchat with everyone except Annie? Furrowing your brows in confusion, you opened the group chat. What you read made your breathing catch in your chest and your skin blanch, it wasn’t a dream. Everything was real.

Sammy <3

(y/n) you fucking pervert

How could you do this to us????

Adrian <3

We’ve given you everything and yet you’re still a disgusting person.

Fucking faggot

We thought we could fix you, but you’re broken

You’re always going to be

Sammy <3

And now, you’re gonna go to hell with all the other dykes and fairies.

It’ll probably be heaven for you, surrounded by perverts like yourself

You’re staying far away from Annie

Adrian <3

You’ve put her through so much shit and now this

We swear to god if you talk to her again we’re gonna make you wish you would’ve gone through with killing yourself freshman year

We’re leaking the pictures slut

You felt your anxiety melt away into betrayal. So they were yours and Haley’s stalkers? How dare they try to leak Haley’s pictures. They could leak yours, you didn’t give a shit if yours were leaked. You could learn to live with it, you always did after all the shit you put yourself through throughout the years, but Haley’s? She didn’t do anything. Even if her rejection was painful, you still deeply cared for her. She didn’t deserve that. You, however, did for not being normal. For making people around you uncomfortable with your presence.

(Y/n)

That was you guys?????

Why the fuck would you do that

I trusted you

All of you

Sammy <3

We trusted you too dyke

But you’re a two-faced bitch

And to think we actually thought you were our friend

Were you only friends with Ann and I so you could get into our pants?

I’m disgusted

You’re a fucking pervert.

Adrian <3

We shouldn’t have talked you out of suicide freshman year

You fucking deserve it

Make Annie’s life easier and just swan dive off a roof

You’ll be doing everyone a favor

(Y/n)

Listen, I don’t care if you leak my pictures.

Just don’t leak Haley’s

She has no part in this

I’ll leave you guys alone if you delete Haley’s pictures

Hell, I’ll do anything for you if you could release them after the final volleyball match today

It’s Haley’s time to shine and she deserves the attention as team captain

She’s worked so hard to get there all of high school and leaking my nudes would take the attention away from her

Let her have her moment

Sammy <3

For once she has a point

She probably manipulated the poor girl

Who knows what the fag would’ve done to her if we didn’t expose her

Adrian <3

Fine, we’ll delete Haley’s pictures and we’ll wait until after the game

But we’re leaking yours

You deserve it for what you did to Annie and Haley

“Kid, are you okay? You’re kinda pale over there buddy.”

Looking up from your phone, you saw everybody’s eyes on you. They each looked concerned, but Wilbur even more so. He was the only one in the room at the moment that knew about your panic attacks. He stood up from his spot and walked over to you with long strides.

“She just remembered the homework in stats that we forgot about. Techno asked us in the group chat about it, we were just about to go and see if he could help us.”

“But Wilbur, I thought you took statistics last year.”

“No, that was algebra two, I’m taking stats this year,” that was a lie, he was in pre-calculus this year. “C’mon (y/n), lets go finish that assignment.”

He grabbed your shoulder and hauled you into a stand before grabbing your hand and practically dragging you up the stairs and into Techno’s room. Said pink-haired teenager looked up angrily. “What’d I say about kno- (y/n)?”

Wilbur closed the door and locked it behind him. He dragged you over to Techno’s bed and sat you down on the edge before kneeling down to look you in the eyes.

“(Y/n), can I touch you? Is that alright?”

After you shakily nodded, he grabbed your hand and placed it over his chest. “Breathe with me.” Like yesterday, you tried to copy his movements, but it wasn’t working. Your panic attack was just getting worse by the minute. Techno pushed Wilbur aside and took his place kneeling in front of you and grabbing your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“(Y/n), can you tell me five things you can see around the room?”

When you didn’t move your wide eyes away from Techno’s face, he frowned and gently squeezed your hand. “You can get through this. What’re five things you can see around the room?”

You reluctantly tore your eyes away from his face and peered around the room. You hadn’t noticed that your blurred vision had tunneled until you realized that you couldn’t see anything in your peripheral vision. Your unseeing eyes flicked around the room.

You tried to swallow, but you couldn’t do anything through the lump in your throat. With a shaky voice, you gasped out “I-I can’t breathe. I-”

“Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Follow me.”

You tried to breathe with him, and you eventually got to the point where you could speak. Your eyes flicked around the room once again and slowly recognized your surroundings.

“You… Wilbur… Desk… Window…”

“That’s good, just one more.”

Your eyes flicked around the room, “...Book.”

“Look back at me, you’re doing so good,” when you looked back at him, he had a small smile on his face. “Nice job. Now, four things you can feel. Can you do that for me?”

You shakily nodded and looked at your hands and around your surroundings. “Bed… Pants… You… Carpet.”

“Three things you can hear?”

“You… Birds… Breathing.”

“You’re almost there, I’m so proud of you. Two things you can smell?”

“Toast and… and burning?”

Despite his confusion about the sudden burning smell, he continued to smile at you. “Good, last one. One thing you can taste?”

You licked your lips before scrunching your nose slightly, “...snot.”

“Wilbur, can you go get her a few kleenexes and a glass of water?” Techno asked his brother without taking his eyes off you.

Wordlessly, he swiftly left the room. “Are you feeling better?”

You panted as you reached up to rub at your teary eyes, “yeah, how’d you know what to do?”

His smile turned slightly bashful, “I did some research last night. I’m glad I did, that was a bad panic attack. Can I- can I ask what caused it?”

You pulled out your phone and handed it to him, letting him scroll through the messages while you brought up your knees to your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You felt tired after that attack, however you had a little bit more energy than you usually did. Only a little bit more. It was probably because you slept for half the day and through the night yesterday. You watched your brother scroll through your texts with tired eyes.

He was emotionless as he scrolled, making you somewhat scared about what his reaction would be. He probably hasn’t gotten to the whole “go kill yourself” or the stalking parts. Judging by his set jaw and labored breathing, he was pissed already and he didn’t even get to the bad parts yet.

In the middle of his scrolling, Wilbur came back with a box of tissues, a glass of water, and a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. When you hardly moved to grab them, he sat on the bed beside you and handed you a tissue. After cleaning up, you took the glass of water and started to slowly sip at it. “Thanks, Wil.”

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him. When he looked over Techno’s shoulder at your phone, you saw his eyebrows furrow. “Tech, what’s-”

He was interrupted as Techno shoved your phone into his hands and stood up to start pacing around his room. “Read it yourself.” He sounded more monotone than usual. He was absolutely furious.

You watched Wilbur’s face as he read through your messages. Unlike Technoblade, he looked furious. His eyes were set ablaze as his entire face turned an angry red. “(Y/n), what the absolute fuck? Why didn’t you tell us this was happening?”

Shrinking in on yourself and pulling your knees closer to your chest, you murmured out a small “sorry.” You saw him quickly turn his head to you as his face softened. He pulled you into a full hug.

“This isn’t your fault. None of it is, it’s all their fault,” he spat with disgust. “How’d they even get your nudes? Did you send them to anyone?”

You leaned your head against his shoulder, “that’s the thing, Wil. I’ve never taken nudes before. They took them through my window. I deserve it.”

You felt him freeze up and heard Techno pause his pacing to stomp over to you. He tore Wilbur’s arms off from you and held you out at arms length by your shoulders. He looked the most angry than you’ve ever seen him with his furious eyes burning into your own and his mouth set in a firm frown. It was terrifying to see him that angry.

“(Y/n), you don’t deserve a single fucking thing that’s happened to you. You were manipulated and gaslit by a group of self righteous assholes. You. Do. Not. Deserve. Anything. That. Happened. To. You. Do you understand me?”

Despite your fears of him, you were determined to protect your friends. “But I do deserve it though. I was a bad friend to them. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t be a good friend to them when they were always helping me. I’m just not a good person in general. I deserve it for not being normal.”

“(Y/n)-”

“Technoblade, that’s enough.” Wilbur cut him off with a firm tone, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“No it isn’t Wilbur. It’s not enough until she realizes how fucking toxic they are. What they’re doing is gaslighting. You’re in a psychology class, you should know what that is. Give me the definition of it. Now.”

“It’s when someone manipulates another person for their own personal gain… I’d know if I’m being gaslit, and I’m not. They’re just telling me the truth, they keep me in check. I could put more effort into my appearance and personality. I could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” “How do you not- ya know what? Listen. Just listen. That’s the definition of being gaslit. They’re constantly putting you down and making you self conscious about every. Little. Thing because they need to put someone down to fuel their own damaged egos and they laugh at you when you show that you’re hurt by their comments. That’s not a healthy friendship, (y/n). It’s toxic.

“Real friends would never, and I mean never, do that to you. Real friends would never tell you that you looked like shit when you’re as beautiful as Aphrodite. Real friends would never out you to the entire school when you weren’t ready. Real friends would never tell you to lose weight because they wouldn’t care about what you look like. Real friends care about your well being and they look out for you. They love you for you.”

You fell silent as you contemplated his words. Were they really that toxic? You were planning on being a psychology major in college, so why didn’t you notice that they were actually always against you? You learned in your class that manipulative people are naturally cunning and sneaky, but you couldn’t help but feel stupid. You thought that they were helping you when they were clearly toxic. It was right under your nose and you didn’t even see the signs. What kind of psychology student were you if you couldn’t recognize the obvious signs of manipulation?

On one hand, you were filled with betrayal. But on the other hand, you felt molten hot anger overwhelm and swirl around your entire body like a cyclone absolutely decimating everything in its path with its violent winds hurling in a blind rage anything and everything without a care of the outcome. You felt the burning hatred of a thousand suns rise up from deep within your being, filling you with a hatred that you didn’t know you were capable of.

They fucked up your entire life, not you. They were the ones with the ugly personalities, not you. They were the ones that needed to improve themselves, not you. They were bad friends, not you. They laughed at the pain they brought upon you purposefully. They completely humiliated you. They betrayed your trust. They took pictures of you without your consent. They fucked up your relationship with Haley. They violated Haley. They fucking stole her dignity from her with those disgusting pictures they took of her. They were truly vile creatures undeserving of any mercy. Not that you were actually considering being merciful, that would be too good for them. They deserved everything you were going to throw at them. You were going to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your past self.

You felt yourself practically vibrate with fury as you held Technoblade’s intense gaze with one of your own. “Those bastards fucking used me for years. Literal years and I thought they were there for me,” you gave a sardonic laugh, your voice shaking with anger. “I-I’m gonna fuckin kill them the next time I see their sorry asses. Make them feel what it’s like to get tossed out of a car. Make them feel what it’s like to constantly get beaten down.”

Techno’s hands gripped your shoulders in a vice grip as his eyes sparked with a crazed delight and he grinned widely at you, “that’s the spirit! You’re gonna rain hellfire upon them, beat their asses (y/n)! Fuck em up! FUCK! EM! UP!”

Wilbur, always thinking about potential consequences and the voice of reason, spoke up with hesitance. “As much as I love that you’re finally realizing that they’re toxic as hell and want revenge, you’d have to wait at least until tomorrow. If you did it today, you wouldn’t be allowed to go to finals. Besides, I don’t think that you should even fight them. You would be out- wait. They’re the ones that opened the car door and fucked up your back?” Seeing you nod, his face darkened in anger. “...(Y/n), you’re gonna fuck em up as soon as you can tomorrow. We’ll back you up if they try to gang up on you, we aren’t eighteen yet, so it’s still legal. ”

“YES, SUCCUMB TO THE ANARCHY! WE’RE GONNA FUCK EM UP!”

“YOU ARE NOT FUCKING ANYONE UP ANYTIME SOON, TECHNOBLADE.” Philza’s voice boomed from behind the closed door. Said door swung open to reveal your father’s angry form and your uncle’s intrigued, slightly proud form.

You three stared at the two for a while with gaping mouths, your previous intensity substantially diminuendos into a quiet shock. No one fucks with an angry Dadza. Techno was the quickest to get over the shock. “...How long were you standing there?”

Your father sneered. “Well, long enough to hear that you three are going to fight someone! Why the hell would you do that?”

Your brothers looked at you in a silent question. Shaking your head, you answered in a small voice, “there’s just some people messing with me at school. They were just worried about me. We weren’t gonna actually fight someone, they were just talking about how it’d be nice to get some revenge for me. I was just about to tell them that I could handle myself and we didn’t need to fight.”

Immediately, your dad’s stiff stance relaxed slightly as his eyes pierced into your own, searching them to see if you’re lying to him or not. You felt a cold sweat drip down the back of your head at the intensity of his gaze, you hated when he did that. It always made you feel like he was staring right at your soul. Eventually, his gaze softened.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you through it.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. Plus, it’s nothing I can’t handle by myself.”

“But you looked really panicked earlier hun. Are you sure you can-”

“I just forgot about my stats homework until this morning and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get it done in time, but I did! No worries,” you spoke a little faster than usual. You prayed that he wouldn’t see through your lie.

“...Alright. Just let me know if it gets to be too much for you and I can talk with your principal about it. Now go eat something and get ready, you only have,” he glanced at the clock on the wall, “an hour before you have to be at school. Hurry up or you’re going to be late.”

Your dad turned around and walked down the hallway away from the room. Schlatt, however, loomed in the doorway for a while before he came into the room and closed the door behind him. You three watched him warily as he eyed you and your brothers.

“...Ya know, I approve,” after seeing your confused looks, he chuckled and spoke again. “I approve of you three fuckin em up. I heard part of your conversation, and those snot nosed brats deserve it for what they did to my favorite niece.”

You three stared at him with shock, making him laugh at you. “Close your mouths, you’re gonna catch flies.” He paused for a second before leaning towards you and whispering “now, you didn’t hear it from me, but the key to a good punch is following through with it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t tuck your thumb in, that’ll break it. Make sure you center your hit on your index and middle fingers, they are the strongest points of the hand. If you need to, go for the eyes, nose, and groin.”

“I-thank you Uncle Schlatt. I really appreciate it. Just- please don’t tell dad?”

“Of course not! I mean, if you don’t fuck em up enough I will. (Y/n), when you’re done, I want details.”

You saluted sarcastically, “yessir, will do!”

He gave a boisterous laugh, “you better. Now go get ready.”

As he was about to walk out of the room, he suddenly paused and his hand shot to his pants pocket. He pulled something out before putting it into your hand and turning again to walk out of the room. “This is from Tubbo and Tommy. They were worried about you.” In your hand laid three of your favorite candies. You felt your heart swell at their innocent, caring natures. They were honestly some of the sweetest kids you’ve ever met.

“Well boys, you get first pics!” You held out the candy to them.

Wilbur looked at you with knitted eyebrows, “but they gave those to you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten through that panic attack without you guys helping me, so take this as a temporary thank you.” You watched as they glanced at each other before reaching out to grab a piece of candy.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get ready, you guys can take the bathroom before me. Love you guys!”

You went into your room and made sure your curtains were closed before turning to your closet. Humming in thought, you picked out a white button up and the nicest sweater you owned. You put on the collared button up then slipped the sweater on over it so that the collar poked out of the neck. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, feeling more confident in yourself than you’ve felt since you started hanging out with them. Fuck them, they always lied to you. You looked great in anything you put on. You felt elated and basked in the spectacular feeling of being able to like what you wore.

While you waited for your brothers to leave the bathroom, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts before you stopped on one: Haley’s. The girl that stole your heart and relentlessly stomped on it until it was a red puddle at her feet. Despite the pain, you still loved her. She was your everything. Your thumb hovered over her icon, contemplating on texting her. You had to tell her that she didn’t have to worry about her pictures anymore.

(Y/n)

Haley

I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I have good news

You don’t have to worry about your pics anymore

I took care of it.

You don’t have to reply to this

Just know that I took care of it and you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

You sat on your bed staring at your phone screen waiting for her to open your messages. You stared at the ‘delivered’ icon at the bottom of your message, waiting for it to say ‘read’. You stared for about ten minutes before you gave up, putting your phone in your pocket and standing up with a sigh. She would see it eventually. Just as you reached your door, you felt a vibration in your pocket. You whipped out your phone and smiled at Haley’s face on your screen. She was calling you.

Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you clicked the answer button, “hey Hales.”

“(Y/n), what’d you do?”

“I took care of it. That’s all you have to know.”

“I think I should know more. What’d you do?”

You paused for a moment before you hesitantly said, “I asked them to delete your pictures and they have to, it’s part of our deal.”

“...You found out who they were?”

“Yeah, but that’s not important. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“(Y/n), don’t tell me what to worry about. Who are they?”

“...Fine, it was Adrian Schnieder, Annie Lockhart, and Sammy McConnor. Ya know, you’re scary when you’re mad Hales. Remind me not to get on your bad side again.”

“It was them? You hang out around them all the time, I thought you were good friends. Why would they do that?”

Even though she couldn’t see you, you shrugged. “I dunno. I think they were just jealous. They’re assholes and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it a lot sooner. I’m sorry they put you through that, you didn’t deserve what they did to you.”

“God (y/n),” she sighed out, you imagined that she was running a hand through her hair. “I can’t imagine how much that hurt you. You four were really close.”

“I know, but it was a long time coming. Like I said, I should’ve noticed that it was them. They’ve always been toxic as hell.”

“How’d you find out? What happened?”

“Did you hear about what they did to me yesterday?”

“Should I? If you’re not comfortable talking about it, that’s totally okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re gonna hear about it eventually, shit spreads like wildfire at Klinkver. Long story short, they outed me to the entire school and thought that I was only friends with them to get in their pants. They basically told me to kill myself,” you added nonchalantly. “But that’s not the important part about this. They told me that they were the people that took those pictures of you.”

“...(Y/n), how could you say that’s not important! They fucked up your life and all you care about is my pictures? What’d they say they’d do with yours?”

“I asked them to not leak them until after the match tonight so you could have the spotlight. You deserve it after all the hard work you’ve put in to get team captain. Zuri was hard to beat and you deserve the recognition for that.”

You heard her take a deep breath through her nose, “(y/n), for once in your life care about yourself over others. You’re gonna be exposed to the entire school and it bothers me that you’re being so nonchalant about that.”

“They’ve put me through worse. Besides,” you wove a hand in the air, “it’ll all blow over sooner or later when another person gets their nudes leaked. You remember how fast people forgot about Marlene’s nudes when May’s got leaked like a week later.”

“Still, it’s degrading to have people see you like that. No matter how fast they get over it, it doesn’t change the fact that they’ve seen you. You can’t come back from that sweetheart.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at the nickname. Even if she called almost everybody that, you felt special. “I don’t care if people see my boobs, it wasn’t even a clear picture anyways. It was hella blurry.”

Your door swung open for the second time today. There stood Tommy, his eyes peering innocently at you. “Dad wanted me to tell you to hurry up.”

You smiled at him, “thank you buddy. Let him know I��ll be down in a minute. Oh, and thank you for the candy, it really made me happy.”

He beamed brightly before he sprinted down the stairs. “Was that Tommy? Is he gonna be at the match tonight?”

“Of course, he and Tubbo are our team’s mascots after all. They would never miss a game, especially our final match.”

“I can’t wait to see them, but we need to talk about this. It’s more serious than you paint it as. How are you not pissed at those dumbasses? You trusted them and they betrayed you.”

“Oh, believe me I’m furious. Heh, I’m actually kinda shaking right now because of how pissed I am. But for now, I’m just gonna imagine their faces on the ball so I can keep my mind off them until tomorrow.”

“...Please don’t tell me you’re gonna do something stupid tomorrow.”

“I wouldn’t call it stupid per se, they deserve it for what they put you through. It’s more getting justice than being stupid.”

“(Y/n), I swear to god if you start a fight just to get back at them for me, I’m gonna slap you. Think about yourself every once and a while, they put you through so much. If you feel comfortable, you’re gonna tell me everything they did to you tonight on the bus coming home.”

“So we’re gonna sit together?” You tried and failed to stomp the hopeful tone from your voice.

Her laugh sounded angelic in your ear, “of course we are silly, you’re my best friend. I gotta go, my dad’s calling me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“See ya!” When you hung up, you danced around your room with joy. You- no, they- didn’t ruin your friendship with Haley after all! Oh, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest with joy. Even if she didn’t like you like you adored her, you still cherished your friendship. Looking back, Haley and the team always had your back, they genuinely cared about you. They were perhaps the only ones you would fully trust in the future.

“(Y/N), HURRY UP YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!” Tommy’s voice outside your door shook you from your happy dance. “Coming!”

You ran to the bathroom and hastily went through your routine. Despite your rushing, you tried your best to look presentable. You were going to prove those snakes wrong, you were beautiful no matter what you wore or how you looked.

After running down the stairs with your bag, your dad stopped you before you could run out the door with your keys. “You look nice today hun.”

“Thanks Dad, I just wanted to dress up a bit for finals today. I’m honestly really pumped to play tonight.”

“That’s good,” he smiled at you before pulling you into a quick hug. “Just take it easy today, you need to save your energy for the match tonight... Listen, I don’t know what happened to you this morning and I don’t know exactly what’s going on in your life right now, but just know that I’m always gonna be here for you. Whether you need help with homework, advice, or if you want me to beat up someone else’s dad for you,” he chuckled, “I’ll do it.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, happy with the contact. You two stood in the hall for a moment before he pulled away and told you to leave for school.

The drive to the school was uneventful with your brothers mainly holding up the conversation. As you pulled into the parking lot, you realized that you needed to catch up on two full days of stats homework.

“Hey Tech?” He hummed, looking over to you.

“Sorry, but would I be able to maybe copy your stats notes from Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I’ll give em to you so you can copy it before school starts. We’d have to go to Mr. Mullins for yesterday’s notes though. We can just ask him about it before school starts.”

As you pulled into a space and moved to leave the car, a hand stopped you. “(Y/n), if any of those two-faced bitches bother you at all, let us know. Don’t deal with this on your own, we’re here for you,” Wilbur said genuinely.

“Yeah, if they say anything bad about you, it’s on sight.”

You laughed, “thanks guys, I’ll let you guys know if they do anything. We gotta get going though if Tech and I wanna get those notes done.”

In the school, you and Techno successfully got your notes done before the first bell rang. The rest of class went by without a hitch with you actually somewhat understanding mostly everything being taught. You even got a question right when you were called on! Turns out not feeling weighed down by toxic people helps a lot with concentration.

The only block you were dreading was the second block. You were sure that if you even glanced at Annie and Adrian, you’d go apeshit on them. Luckily for them, they didn’t show up to class today. They were probably comforting Annie after you “manipulated” her, you thought with an eye roll. Today was just another work day, so you pulled out your laptop and opened Google Docs. You saw Annie’s and Adrian’s unfinished and you were slapped in the face with inspiration.

They were still expecting you to finish their essays, so you were gonna finish them alright. You were going to completely rewrite their essays all about how they were terrible homophobes and how LGBT+ people are always facing some form of discrimination amongst their peers, complete with attached screenshots of them calling you slurs over text. You’d even write a little note at the beginning that would tell your teacher that they didn’t write this, but they made you write it so you deserved the credit for it. You didn’t care that this would take a while, the satisfaction that you would get would be worth it. This was going to completely screw up their grades, this essay was worth twenty five percent of your overall grade. Mr. Todd was really laid back, so he only had a few rules in the classroom. First was to respect your classmate’s time and work, second was to clean up after yourselves, and third (“the most important one” he said on the first day of school) was that he would never tolerate racism, sexism, transphobia, or homophobia in his classroom. Your masterpieces you were writing would definitely earn them a failing grade, a good scolding from Mr. Todd, and maybe a visit to the principal’s office. This would be first in a long line of gifts you have in mind for them.

At lunch, you were slightly stumped as to where you should sit. You didn’t really know anybody in your lunch period, so you just sat at the empty table Adrian, Annie, and Sammy left for you today and ate while working on your masterpieces. Finding sources was extremely easy for you, you remembered doing extensive research about discrimination when you first found out that you weren’t the straight girl you thought you were. Luckily for you, you still had the old Google Doc full of sources you wanted to save for later. Thank you, freshman you.

Third and fourth block went by relatively quickly, you completely finished the work in both classes with plenty of time left for you to continue typing up the essays. You had gotten Adrian’s completely done and Annie’s thesis written. Oh, revenge is sweet. You weren’t even done with what you had in store for them.

You had their parent’s phone numbers and you got Adrian’s boss’ number from Marlene, who worked with him as a waitress. Annie’s parents were total sweethearts that would be absolutely fuming if you showed them what she said to you. You weren’t sure about Adrian’s or Sammy’s parents, but you were going to send them screenshots anyways. If Adrian’s parents were as bigoted as he was, you still had his boss to fall back on. You could email the screenshots to the principal and the athletic director so that you could have something to rely on if Sammy’s parents had the same beliefs as she did. She valued cross country more than everything, so you could fuck that up for her. Revenge never tasted so sweet to you before, it felt like you were high with how giddy you were. Techno and Wilbur were going to love this.

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letarasstuff · 3 years

Text

Be yourself and that will be enough

(A/N): This is inspired by a) Atypical and b) by my sister who is so done with me and my facts.

Summary: Your Uncle Morgan tells you what true friends mean.

Wordcount: 1.3k

Warnings: One swear word, angst, but it’s gonna end fluffy

✨Masterlist✨

____________________________

“Hey Wonder Baby, don’t you have school today?” Morgan wonders as he sees his best friend’s daughter sitting at his desk.

“I did, but my last period was cancelled. The teacher got the flu apparently. Also I need your help on one of the topics in my health class. Dad knows pretty much nothing about physical education except for the effects of it. But I need to create a whole work-out. Can you help me with this, Uncle Derek?” (Y/N) puts on her best puppy dog face.

“Of course, Wonder Baby. All those doors don’t kick themselves down, you need a lot of strength for it”, Morgan agrees and ruffles her hair.

“Hey!” After fixing her hair, the teenager works on getting her pen and paper out. For that she nearly has to dump her whole back pack out on her godfather’s desk.

“Why do you have so much stuff with you?” Derek snatches one of the knick knacks. Looking at what he has in his hands, (Y/N) seems like she remembers something.

“There it is! I thought I lost it! That’s a fidget cube, my friends got it for me, because I click my pens all the time and it makes them go crazy. I can play with that without making too much noise. Try it, it’s really calming.”

“And what are those?” He sees a little plastic bag with three cards inside. Before the girl can demonstrate he takes them out, reading the description on them out loud.

“Fun Fact/Stats card. You have to give one up, whenever you tell a fun fact/statistic. (Y/N) what is it?”

Ashamed she looks anywhere but his face. “Uh, you know how dad always goes around, pepping facts and useless knowledge in a conversation? I do the same and my friends are annoyed by this. To keep it at a minimum they made me these cards, which are pretty much self explanatory. I’m not allowed to tell more than three per day. Every time I tell them one, I have to give them a card. Maybe you can do the same for dad, it’s pretty effective.”

“Baby girl, this isn’t right. I know we make fun of your dad for his facts, but we do it in a loving way. We just mean to tease him, not hurt him. His facts helped us more often than not. You should be able to tell people your knowledge. You should be proud of it, not everybody does know as much as you do, especially at your age. When your friends are annoyed by something that is part of you and your personality, then they are not your real friends, as hard as this may sound.” This seems to break the dam. (Y/N) breaks down in tears.

Acting quickly, the agent pulls her in for a hug, trying to shush her. His heart hurts seeing his god daughter, a kid he watched growing up becoming a beautiful teenager, in tears hiccuping and struggling to get a proper breath in.

“You-you don’t know how d-difficult it is to find someone who is willing to put up with me. I have to t-take every chance I get of having a friend, even when it means to hold myself back with them. It is worse to be alone, Derek.” He didn’t know until now that words can hurt so much. But here he sits, with a crying girl in his arms, who just desperately tries to fit in.

“Sugar plum, nobody has to put up with anyone. A friend genuinely enjoys your presence, like you enjoy theirs. I don’t know how hard it is for you, but changing your good traits for somebody, who isn’t worth your time, hurts me. I love to hear your fun facts as much as I love you. It is what makes you you. It makes you different, a good different. Just because some people don’t know how to handle real smarts, you shouldn’t feel like a burden. It’s their loss, understood Baby?” While wiping the tears with her sleeve away, she nods.

“Good, now give me these cards, you won’t need them anymore. Either these people learn to love you for being you or they can piss off. You are wonderful just the way you are.”

After Morgan’s well needed pep talk, both of them start working on (Y/N)’s homework. They tease each other, sometimes poking the other ones side with a pen or jokes about something stupid. But also the laughs about little unimportant things are so much needed by the girl.

When Spencer enters the bullpen, the first thing he hears is his daughter’s loud laughing. For him it’s like Bethoven plays the most beautiful melody ever composed in history. A smile graces his features, because to the doctor it feels like an eternity when he last heard these sounds.

Then he spots (Y/N) with Derek, having a lightsaber fight with several into each other stacked pens. They look pretty fragile and it is clear to him that they will fall apart at any second.

“Hey you two, what are you doing here?” Reid asks as he puts his satchel down at his desk.

“Dad! I have to fight Uncle Derek! Else the dark side will win and rule over the universe”, the teenager explains in such a serious manner.

“Well, then I hope you are going to win, my little Skywalker” Spencer encourages her, breaking out the nickname he had for her when she was little.

After the fight has ended (with the good side restoring the universe’s balance), (Y/N) skips happily in her Aunt Penny’s office to get one of her baked goods. Or moreover eating a tin’s contents that is just reserved for her.

Wordlessly Morgan leans against Spencer’s desk, who finishes some paperwork. When he looks up questiongly, Derek throws the little plastic back on top of the papers.

“What is this?” The doctor wonders, but doesn’t get an answer. His friend just motiones to the object. Spencer opens it, takes a card and reads over it several times. Finally all the puzzle pieces in his head click together. (Y/N)’s absent enthusiasm for her and his facts, her bubbly personality missing and her getting shorter with her words every day.

Looking back up at his colleague, Reid thanks him with deep sincerity. Both of them know that the father will do anything to help his daughter.

Later the little family sits at the kitchen table in their small but cozy apartment, talking about their day over the together cooked dinner.

“Did you know that the command ‘Women and children first!’ were interpreted differently on the Titanic? On the one side the man in charge let at first women and children enter the lifeboats and men were allowed to fill in the remaining seats. On the other side were only women and children in them allowed, so over 200 seats were left open when they hit the water”, (Y/N) tells her father with a long missed sparkle in her eyes. Spencer can’t help but smile at it, just being happy to see his favorite girl happy again.

“Oh and Dad? I was thinking about switching schools. You once talked about this school for gifted children? Maybe we can look into this further? I feel like I need a change.”

Relief washes over Spencer. He wanted her for the longest of times to switch schools to have her use her full potential and meet kids who are more like her.

“Of course, Sweetheart. Anything you want.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x daughter!reader #spencer reid x teen!reader #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan x teen!reader #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert

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shikakunaras · 3 years

Note

if you’d like to, would you elaborate on some hcs for Inoichi n shikaku! ty!!!!

I would LOVE to.

Shikaku / Inoichi - relationship hcs

Shikaku asked Inoichi out on a date first BUT Inoichi proposed bc he let Shikaku slip through his fingers once and he refuses to let it happen again.

They didn’t have an actual wedding. They did that once and that’s all they needed.

Shikaku is more detail oriented and has ADHD, both of which stress him out. Inoichi looks at the bigger picture and knows how to help Shikaku move from task to task (when Shikaku isn’t working bc he has that ADHD Work Overdrive like me)

Inoichi is the first to call someone for help to fix things around the house. Shikaku is the opposite. He’s the Handy Man but he never has time to do anything.

Shikaku can cook but he hates it. Inoichi learned some good recipes from Choza. If one cooks, the other cleans.

Inoichi will garden bc he has to, not because he wants to. Shikaku loves to garden but refuses to sell what veggies/fruits he grows.

Despite his appearance Shikaku loves to cuddle and he will latch onto Inoichi when his social battery is low.

Inoichi and Shikaku have a signal for when they want to leave a party or event. Once flashed the other will create a fast excuse and pull their partner out.

Shikaku / Inoichi - parent hcs

Shikaku is the “Hard Ass” because Inoichi can’t stay mad at the kids longer than two seconds. He also has no problem telling the kids what they need to hear but he’s not cruel abt it. (Canon!)

Inoichi is the ‘Fun Parent’ but the ‘Awkward Dad’ (that’s canon lmao)

Shikaku takes care of the homework side - Shikamaru and Ino have ADHD too so he can relate and help them use some ADHD Cheat Codes.

Inoichi attends every parent conference because he can remain calm and statistical when getting grilled about grades and habits. Shikaku can do that when it comes to diplomats but not teachers.

Shikaku and Inoichi take pictures of everything and they will keep every single one.

They are doting parents bc they didn’t have that growing up.

(Ignore my shitty art LMAO but this was stuck in my head all day and I had to do it) This sums up their parenting in a nut shell -

#shikaku #inoichi #i love them as a pair sm #and i have a lot of thoughts #esp bc i hc shikaku and shikamaru as trans #so thats a whole different list #anon #answered #Anonymous

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coccinelle-et-chaton · 3 years

Text

hello tumblr what’s good i woke up with a ton of Adrien Agreste headcanons so LET’S GO

I need to get these out of my system before they spawn into fics I’ll never write.

Adrien is a morning person. Whether it’s because that’s just him or the sheer power of conditioning thanks to his tight schedule, he’s just an early bird.

He’s one of those people that will get up at 6 even if they stayed up all night, you know? Like, two shots of espresso and he’s ready to go, the bastard.

So, with this in mind, I kept imagining some sort of sleepover situation with Mari, Nino, and Alya, where they already know each other’s IDs and Adrien still wakes up at like, 5 am and goes through his whole routine.

He gets up quietly to not wake up the others.

It’s high key harder to peel himself from the bed with Mari snuggling so close to him.

“OMG my lady is cuddling me!!”

He forces himself bc if he doesn’t get his stuff done and then there’s an Akuma, he falls behind his tasks and it gives his dad a reason to pull the leash on him.

Also I feel like he’d get up earlier anyway because he has A LOT of stuff to squeeze into 24 hours, so he multitasks a lot.

Like he’ll be doing his skin care routine, studying the music track for an upcoming fashion show, and reading through yesterday’s Physics notes at the same time.

He also eats the same thing for breakfast every day because in his mind, it saves time: a bowl of joghurt with half a cup of nuts, seeds, and oatmeal. Also coffee. A LOT of coffee.

By the time the others zombie out of the bedroom, he’s already done with half the school assignments for next week, worked a bit on his “tracking Hawkmoth” desk research, has a fresh pot of coffee ready for the rest of his friends, and even managed to read a bit of fashion gossip.

“Dude, you’re already up? At what time did you wake up?”

“Uh... five?”

“Gross”

They don’t get it at first.

“Guys, I got two photoshoots and three interviews this week, a fencing competition, Chinese exam, I told Ivan I’d help him with his Math homework on Thursday, then there’s the fashion show on Saturday, then we have midterms next week and that presentation for History. Statistically speaking, Hawkmoth attacks 7.8 times a week on average. That means at least one Akuma per day. How else am I supposed to stay on track without waking up early? If I don’t wake up early, then I don’t have so much time if an Akuma attacks, and an Akuma always attacks. If I don’t have time, then I miss schoolwork, and if I miss schoolwork, my grades drop, and if my grades drop...”

Everyone is high key concerned for the local sunbeam, Marinette especially.

Insert fluff conversation between Mari and Adrien here

“You know what, I’m never complaining about you being a total force of chaos as Chat ever again.”

His friends start the “Let Adrien Agreste Catch A Fucking Break” Initiative.

“But Chaton, don’t you get tired?”

“A little bit, but I don’t mind. I love being Chat Noir and this is the price, so.”

Marinette is high key turned on by Adrien’s ability to juggle so many things at the same time and making it look easy.

Also if you had a helicopter parent that books your day to the very last minute you know in reality it’s actually quite hard to ditch without getting caught, right? So Adrien’s private tutors and colleagues actually know that he sneaks out. Like, he’ll ditch because of an Akuma, but these people don’t know that. They only know this poor kid who lost his mom a year ago who was actually a pretty nice lady and is now stuck with his obviously unstable dad, and you know what, don’t call Gabriel he doesn’t need to know. The poor kid deserves a break.

Will you look at that, another bullet point fic. I might write some of this after all. Maybe like a harmless little one-shot. How bad can it be lol

Other assorted headcanons:

Adrien knows the ins and outs of the fashion industry, naturally. So he also knows a lot of other models and stuff.

I can imagine conversations with Mari fawning over some model or designer and Adrien filling her in on the behind-the-scenes gossip. Some of it is quite harmless, other stuff is like super scandalous and not in the funny way.

“I keep telling you, Mari. The fashion industry is one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. But I know you’ll change it for the better, milady.”

Years into the future, Mari is going to her first networking event and Adrien goes with her because even though he knows Marinette is more than capable of fending for herself, it doesn’t hurt when the literal heir of one of the biggest designer houses in Paris is watching out for you.

#adrien agreste #for the love of god somebody tell jeremy zag he has a whole fandom suffering withdrawal #miraculous ladybug #ml #ml headcanon #miraculous ladybug headcanon #marinette dupain cheng #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #ladybug #chat noir

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sushigal007 · 3 years

Text

To the O’Mackeys! Jules: Not you.

Hobby Leader: Hey. Jules: OH MY GOD. Hobby Leader: Don’t yell at me, you’re the one who got a whole bunch of hobby enthusiasm in the last eight years since you were last played.

Gabe: By my calculations, if you got a hobby point each month, you could’ve maxed out every hobby by now. Sure, if you ignore the three years where I was too busy sorting out my CC to actually play the game. Gabe: By my calculations, shut up.

One step closer to his LTW!

Gabe: CHESS. Betty: Whatever, nerd.

Meanwhile, Jules calls up her boyfriend, Justin.

Jules: I’m gonna be straight with you, I wanna get laid. Right now. Justin: I’ll be right there!

Justin and Jules: Let’s do this. My auto homework mod:

Jules: FUCK. My auto homework mod: Still no.

Gabe: The only thing rising around here is my career and that’s just the way I like it.

They did at least manage to fall in love. Jules: Sooooo... wanna play?

Justine: Not quite what I had in mind. Jules: It’ll have to do until something distracts my dad.

Gabe: *is distracted*

Finally they get down to it!

Townie: I heard someone did woohoo? Other townie: I don’t see it in the paper.

Townie: Oh yeah, she definitely did it. Please stop.

Townie: PSYCHE! I just wanted the paper all along!

If I’ve learned anything from teen movies it’s that frat houses cannot be shut down, you gotta sabotage that shit. So let’s bring in the sorority!

SUCCESS!

Gabe: Nah I’m just gonna fuck with the Greek houses some more lol.

Jules: Yeah, my dad’s kind of a big deal, but he’s not as great as me.

Secret Sue: I know someone who’s pretty great!

Jacob: That guy? Seriously? Townie: Nobody asked you.

Jules: Wanna play for cash? Ripp: Absolutely not.

Gabe spends all his free time now playing on the swing.

Jules brings home Ivy Copur every day to gossip about the various uberhood randos. Jules: -And then he pissed himself! Ivy: No way! Really!? Jules: I don’t actually know, but it’s statistically likely.

Oh yay, a genie lamp! Matchmaker: Ehhh maybe I should’ve left the one that sets things on fire? Next time.

Gabe: I notice you don’t have the flu any more. And thank fuck for that.

Don’t know why I screencapped a picture of local thirst trap, Leod McGreggor. Leod: For your followers. You’re right. Here you go guys, my treat, don’t say I never give you anything.

Social distancing.

Gabe had the day off, so I sent him out to the Film and Literature hobby lot. Gabe: Booze me up.

Gabe: Is ‘Spot the dog’ an instruction or his name? Hobby Leader: Please go away and sober up.

Evil Witch: Have some pain rain. Gabe: Ow ow ow ow ow Marissa: Tee hee it tickles.

Mrs C: COVER UP, YOU DIRTY HARLOT!!! Gabe: It’s just board shorts- Mrs C: I CAN SEE YOUR BULGE, YOU FILTHY SLAG!!!

Meadow: Should we... Sharla: Nah, let’s just stay here and look cute.

There’s only room for one Grand Witch on this lot! Which one gets to stay? There’s only one way to find out!

Sorry Sandra, we already have roaches.

No.

Gabe started writing a novel and I really wish we could write the blurb at the beginning when we pick the icons, because I’ve already forgotten what it was about.

Tomatoes!

I sold them rather than stocking the fridge and of course, it immediately ran out, so Gabe had to nip out for groceries.

Jules: How do I look? Pretty good!

Finally, Gabe made good enough friends with the witch to learn her secrets!

Gabe: I HAVE THE POWER!

Jules wanted to invite someone over, so I let her call up Melody Tinker. Jules: I need you to tell me all about college. Melody: I dunno how much help I’ll be, I haven’t actually had any classes yet.

Gabe: So you’re off to college today? Jules: Yep. Gabe: I’ll miss you.

That said, it didn’t take him long to find a way to deal with the loneliness.

Patricia: So... would it too crude to make a magic wand joke? Gabe: Yes.

Gabe: But do it anyway.

Gage: And now for my next trick, I’ll merge with the desk.

Will: Is that a porno!? Gage: No, It’s literature.

Do’t do that. Gage: Sorry, am I making you uncomfortable? Yes. Gage: Good.

And the week ends with him turning Jules’ room into a little witchy study area. Gage: As Education Minister, I wish to set an example by furthering my education. Gage: Also I wanna learn how to send a swarm of bees after the next person who kicks over the bin.

UBERHOOD INDEX

#sims 2 #premades #Uberhood #O'Mackey

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hotchreidd · 3 years

Note

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.” bc that’s so them!!

also wanted to say you seem like a really cool person and i love your blog and your writing and i would like to be friends that’s all have a good day!! 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

okay for starters; hi. please text me :) i promise i’m approachable. i hope you also have a good day. i’m gonna make this a happy lil drabble.

“Jack wants you to go to his parent teacher meeting tomorrow.” Aaron announced, flowing past Spencer in the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Spencer paused, mid-stirring his pasta sauce, and turned to face his husband. “What?” He asked, looking like a deer caught in the headlights with raised eyebrows and an open mouth.

“Unless something comes up, of course.” Aaron replied, hilariously oblivious of Spencer’s scared stiffness for a profiler.

He tried to respond, tried to get words out of his mouth - because his brain was certainly forming sentences, mostly what the fuck. The only thing that made it as far as his lips were “Uh- I’m. Yes?”

Aaron nodded. As if it was no big deal. As if it were every day that you were told that your partner’s son sees you as a parent.

He brushed past Spencer, his hand gliding against his lower back in a familiar gesture. “We can take a half day tomorrow, collect him from school. Maybe go for dinner at that place he likes on 5th?” Aaron said, thinking out loud.

When Spencer didn’t respond, Aaron turned back to him and peered over his shoulder. His hand was still paused holding a wooden spoon in the bubbling pot.

“Unless you had another idea?” He asked slowly, now sensing that Spencer was struggling to process something.

It stunned Spencer out of his shocked state enough to hold his finger up to Aaron in a wait gesture and moved toward the liquor cabinet by the opposite wall of the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked incredulously, watching Spencer unlock the cabinet and pull the first bottle in reach out of him.

“I’m too sober for this.”

Aaron laughed. “You don’t even drink.”

He watched as Spencer struggled with the lid of the bottle. “Well maybe I should start.” His comment was counteracted by him putting the bottle down on the counter in defeat, unable to open it. Aaron had childlocked it to stop Jack from getting his curious little hands on it.

“Did I miss something?” Aaron asked, completely baffled by his husband’s behaviour.

Spencer put his hand on his hip and gave Aaron what could only be described as a really? look.

When Aaron couldn’t answer, Spencer sighed and stepped toward him. “You just- Parent teacher meeting. Parent teacher meeting.”

“That’s what I said, yes.”

“You’re Jack’s father,” Spencer explained. “I’m not.”

Understanding dawned on Aaron’s face. “Well, we can change that.” He said simply.

“It’s not that easy-“

“I’ll go down to the courthouse tomorrow and get the papers after we go to the school.” Aaron replied, shrugging in his typical no big deal way. But it was a big deal, a very big one.

Spencer laughed, because he wasn’t quite sure what he was feeling and the laugh was his first response. “Aaron, do you hear what you’re saying?”

Aaron nodded and smiled, wrapping his hands around Spencer’s waist. His large hands could curl around his partner’s slim waist and fit perfectly into the sharp juts of his hipbone.

“He already calls you Dad,” He answered. “You make him breakfast, bring him to the museum on Sundays, help him with his homework.”

“Because I love spending time with him.” Spencer replied. “Being a legal guardian is so much more than that!” He said insistently.

Aaron ran his thumb down Spencer’s side to calm him down. “Spence, we’re married.” He reminded his husband of four years.

Shivering under Aaron’s touch, Spencer rolled his eyes. “I’m aware,” He said dryly which made Aaron chuckle.

“And I have primary custody of Jack since Haley died. Jess has secondary.” He explained, as if it were obvious - which it was, Spencer had helped him through the paperwork of it six years back after the funeral.

“I’m also aware of that.”

“Are you aware that i’m DC, the spouse of the primary carer gains custody over the secondary carer if I were to die?”

Spencer paused, processing the information Aaron had just told him. “No.” He said slowly.

Nothing else was said for a few moments as silence passed between the two men, Aaron waiting patiently for Spencer to comprehend what he had implied, and Spencer trying not to freak out at the thought of being a primary carer for Jack if something were to happen to Aaron - he wanted to think optimistically, but he knew the statistics.

“So I’ve been a legal guardian since 2012?” He asked eventually.

Aaron chuckled and nodded, running his hands down Spencer’s arms. “Oh,” He said. “That’s... cool.”

That sent Aaron into a fit of laughter. Spencer pouted at him which only added to the humour of the situation.

The sound of the front door opening followed by quick feet scampering down the hallway brought Spencer out of his thoughts and calmed Aaron down, if only by a minuscule.

“Hey, Dad.” Jack said, heading straight for the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. His clothes were slightly dirty with grass stains and muck and his hairline shone with a thin layer of sweat from playing soccer out in the front yard with his friends. “Are you coming to my parents teacher meeting tomorrow? Miss Clark has my science fair project. I want you to see it, It’s really cool.”

Aaron was sent into another, albeit quieter, laughing bout. Jack paid him no real attention, happy to see his father with a light smile rather than a depressing scowl on his face.

Spencer swallowed hard and managed to squeak out, “Um, yeah.” Jack smiled widely and took another swig from his water.

Putting the bottle back in the fridge, he gave his parents a quick hug each before running back down the hallway and out the door to his friends waiting for him outside.

“Okay,” Spencer said. Aaron raised an eyebrow at him and waiting for him continue. After a moment he finished, “Please open that bottle for me.”

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotchreid #spencer reid #petepost

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cassiopeiasara · 3 years

Note

Westallen 52+70

Marriage of Convenience+Locked in a Room (so this def got away from me and turned into a full fic that’s also on ao3 here).

Here’s the thing about Iris West, she never breaks a promise. Even one made at nine years old before Barry loses everything.

They’re at his house. His mom smiles from the kitchen telling Iris of course she can stay while her dad works late. She likes Nora’s smile, it’s bright and warm just like the Allen’s home.

They’re in the middle of math worksheets when Barry asks.

“Iris?”

Iris tilts her head. “Yeah?”

Barry fidgets with his pencil. “Do you want to get married one day?”

Iris laughs. “Yeah but dad says I’m not allowed till I’m 35.”

Barry’s eyes go wide. “That’s a long time.”

Iris nods. “It is, but I’ll probably find someone before that.”

Barry nods in return. They’re silent for a little while longer before he speaks up again. “If you don’t find anyone, would you marry me?”

Iris considers him a moment. “That’s forever from now, Barry. What if you find someone?”

He shrugs. “If I don’t? And you don’t?”

Iris holds out her pinkie. “I promise.”

Barry’s cheeks go pink as he links his pinkie with hers.

A year later when he’s crying in her lap and she’s stroking his hair, he whispers “would you still marry me one day, Iris?”

She wipes his cheeks. “Sure, Barry.”

Neither one of them expects their thirty-fifth birthdays to arrive with no spouses or children but as with many other millennials, the future never quite looks how they expected.

Barry is over one evening helping repair Iris’ kitchen sink because her super is useless and Joe’s back won’t allow him to do tasks like this anymore.

Iris blames the latest lifestyle article for why she brings it up at all. CCPN has been running a series on women and how much their lives have improved but also the struggles of modern times. Though thirty-five feels nowhere near old, Iris has been made all too aware that her statistical odds as a well educated black professional are not as much in favor of a spouse as she would like.

She swings her legs on the counter after she hands Barry the wrench he asked for. “Hey, Bear?”

There’s a small grunt of acknowledgement below her.

“You remember that time we were nine doing homework at your house and you asked if I’d marry you?”

There’s a clang of tools and a curse as Barry slides out from under the sink. She feels bad as she watches him rub his forehead, a small red spot appearing.

“Yeah,” he says quickly. “W-what made you think about that?”

She shrugs. “Well we’ve hit our time limit.”

He shakes his head. “Iris, we were nine. Thirty five feels ancient at nine.”

She crosses her arms and peers down at him. “You backing out on me now, Barry?”

He stares at her a moment. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t give out pinky swears lightly.”

He tilts his head up at her and she thinks, not for the first time, that he’s grown up to be so much more than the scrawny nerd she knew in school. He’s still a nerd of course but he’s filled out and can actually throw a punch almost as well as she can. Not to mention, he’s the director of the CSI division and often travels to consult for departments in other cities. He volunteers in the summers at various science camps, laughs at all her jokes and is so useful at trivia night. He’s still her best friend, she could do a whole lot worse.

“What about that Eric guy you were seeing?”

She rolls her eyes. “It only took one drink to realize he’s not worth my time. What about Tina?”

He scoffs. “She left with our waiter.”

Iris hops off her counter and pats Barry on the shoulder. “Look, I know we actually have time but why waste it on these losers when we could be with our best friend?”

Barry looks at her a long time and she’s sure he’s going to say no. In fact, she resigns herself to it when he slips back under her sink to finish fixing it. She shouldn’t be disappointed nor surprised really. Maybe it was a stupid idea anyway. Barry has always been a romantic and Iris’ practical appeal isn’t exactly the most enticing.

She wonders if he’ll leave as she opens the door for the takeout she promised in exchange for his labor.

“I’m assuming you’ll come live with me then? You’ll have a handyman at your beck and call and you’ve already waxed poetic about my floor plan.”

Iris drops her chopsticks. “Really, Bear?”

Barry smiles bright and warm and Iris can’t help but think of Nora. “Yeah.”

***

Barry really should have warned her about the laundry room. It hadn’t occurred to him of course because the faulty lock always meant he kept the door open.

She’s in the middle of pulling on his Millennium Falcon t-shirt when a breeze slams the door shut.

“Damn,” he whispers.

“What?” She asks as she flips her hair from the collar of the shirt.

It’s curly today. CCPN is under new management and with the recent round of legislation around hair styles, Iris has opted for more time with her curls both at home and at work. Barry, of course, has no complaints. He’s loved her hair ever since he heard the soft clink of the beads at the end of her braids when she approached him in kindergarten.

He points behind him, trying hard not to linger on the vision that is his wife in his clothes. Wife, he’ll never get over that.

“The door. It doesn’t open from this side.”

Her eyes go wide as she rushes to pull the handle to no avail. “Damn,” she mutters.

“Yeah,” he says as he scratches the back of his neck.

She knits her eyebrows up at him. “What are you doing home so early?”

“I had court this morning,” he gestures at his suit, “and I haven’t switched out my bag with fresh clothes yet so I swung by so I could have something for the lab.”

Her eyes linger on his tie, a hint of a smile playing at her lips and he hopes she doesn’t read too much into his choice. Six months into their marriage and Barry is still terrified Iris might guess the depth of his feelings. There had been countless times over the years he wanted to share how he felt.

That night on her dad’s couch as he cried and asked if she might still marry him. Middle school when he had the good fortune of a foster family that lived in Iris’ neighborhood and didn’t judge him for his anger or his desire to see his dad. High school when he broke up with Becky and hoped Iris’ concern was less friendly consideration and more because she’d prefer to be his girlfriend. The time she confessed she thought no one might love her the way Eddie had.

Yet, he’s stayed silent, sure that if Iris felt anything close to him, she’d say something. He never forgot his childhood proposal but he’d been so sure Iris had.

Call him a fool for settling but no woman could ever match his best friend so when she’d called him on their old promise, he couldn’t resist. Thus here he was locked in a room with the woman he’d always dreamed might be his wife and nervous she might finally see the truth.

“I’ll call Dad,” she says before she looks around and sighs. “My phone is in the kitchen.”

Barry pats his jacket, thankful he finds his phone there. “He got called to a scene but Cecile was on her way to pick up lunch for the both of them, I’ll see if she can swing by.”

Iris sighs in relief. Cecile thankfully picks up but it’ll be two hours and Barry’s phone dies shortly after. He leans against the wall while Iris hops up on one of the machines. Barry tries not to think of the activities they’d get up to if they had gotten married for more typical reasons but it’s hard when Iris is drowning in his shirt and pouting her lips as she looks around the room.

“So, what should we do?”

He shrugs. “Well, um-“

“What was your case about?”

He relaxes slightly, thankful for a subject that will definitely distract from his irrespirable wife. He starts to explain the case, leaving out any confidential details and Iris gets that look on her face where he knows she’s listening but slightly lost in the science of it all. He used to think it annoyed her but she confessed a couple years back that while she didn’t understand it all, she did find it fascinating.

“Barry?” She whispers after he’s done and a comfortable silence settles between them.

“Hmm?”

“You think we should have kids?”

He stumbles slightly against the wall. “Um, do you want to?”

She bites her bottom lip and he finds that after an hour in such a small space, he can’t resist the image that pops up in his brain of kissing it free. “I think so. I know there’s always adoption and I think I’d be down for that if you are but we could try the biological way first.”

He assumes that like their marriage this might be a practical arrangement. After all, they sleep in separate bedrooms, careful not to let their family see that part of their house often. They decided the particulars of their marriage were no one’s business but their own and they let their family and friends stay blissfully ignorant.

“So did you want to try a fertility specialist or something? When did you—“

“Hey, Bear?”

He watches her slide off the washing machine and inch closer to him, fiddling with the edge of his tie. “Yeah?”

She smiles in a way he’s always dreamed of but never seen. She tugs at his tie to bring him closer and leans up bringing them close enough to kiss. “Why don’t we try it the traditional way first?”

Barry raises his eyebrows and squeaks out “you mean like now? Together? Here? Like right now?”

She chuckles darkly. “Yeah, we could—”

“Barry? Iris?”

“In here!” Shouts Iris. He expects her to jump away but she waits until they hear Cecile jiggle the doorknob and only then does she step away slowly.

Barry can barely catch his breath as Iris thanks Cecile and sends her on her way. He walks into their living room on shaky feet and wonders what to do next.

Iris leans against the door after seeing Cecile out and winks at him. “Why did you wear that tie, Barry?”

He tilts his head. “B-because you gave it to me.” And told me I look nice, he thinks. And smiled at me.

She smiles and saunters toward him. “Why did you marry me?”

His heart races as he considers denying the truth. The same truth he’s been so afraid to reveal for years but Iris wants children and is looking at him as if he should hope and so he does the brave thing. “Because I love you and I’ve never wanted to marry anyone else.”

Her smile melts from seductive to just soft. “Yeah?”

He nods.

She leans up and kisses him, chaste but lingering, the second kiss since their wedding day. “Me too, Bear.”

His heart leaps in his chest as he leans down to kiss her the way he’s wanted to for years.

When they part, she whispers, “you’ll be late for work.”

He shrugs and wraps his arms around her waist. “They’ll live.”

#trope mashup #westallen #iris west #barry allen #my fanfiction #I can’t believe I wrote so much but hopefully someone likes it?#definitely an au but also pretty close to canon just minus powers and Barry growing up in the west house #anonymous

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1994sunflower · 3 years

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oh my gosh!! I can just imagine Michael being so worried when their kids get sick or him being so confused if the children ever have homework and y/n’s not there to help out lol

oh my gosh when they get sick — he’s a nervous wreck

when theyre coughing, sneezing and crying

he would have an internal freakout

like what is he supposed to do

he tries to get them to stop crying but it doesnt work which just makes everything worse

fumbles around and just hands them stuff to try to distract them or get them to smile, a phone, keys, their favorite toy, sometimes even the tv remote

wide stressed out eyes constantly as he tries to figure out what's wrong and what to do

if you’re working, he’ll call you immediately

“should i take them to the hospital?”

“mikey…it’s just a cold.”

“how are you so calm about this?”

“because it’s normal for children to get a cold, michael.”

who wouldve thought you'd be the calm one in that situation lol (but I mean not really, you were worried obviously but not as frantic)

you'd tell him to call you with any and all updates and he was very faithfully texting you like every 20 minutes

and when you told him what medicines to buy, he’d go overboard and buy like 5 packs of each

he’d just be doting on his children constantly

when you were able to actually be there to examine them he’d be looming over you shoulder the whole time to make sure everything was fine

like honestly would just force water down their throats with how much water he was getting them because he knew being hydrated was important lol

wouldnt even want them to leave the house because it could get worse

pretty overbearing just like he is when he’s worried about you

but somehow worse because these are his precious children which he would kill for and the fact that they’re anything less than happy and healthy right then bothered him so much - especially since he couldnt really prevent it or stop it since it wasnt physical

he would probably end up getting sick too because of how much time he was spending near them but he wouldnt care at all

and when they need help with homework

I think he’d be good with a few topics like if they needed help with some basic math, statistics, stuff like that

and he’d feel so happy that he was able to help them out especially when they grinned up at him

“thanks dad”

would feel like the smartrest man on earth….even if it was just fourth grade math

but once they got older and they were asking about science, advanced grammar…..

he’d really try

like he would sit with them

but then just stare blankly at the paper

his children would be like “….i can go figure it out myself.”

“shut up, let me think”

cue him pretending to be texting something but really looks up the answer

or he would kind of ramble an answer of putting together random tidbits of information he remembered or that he might have helped you out with in college when you asked him to help you study (which was usually just him pretending to listen to you saying the things you needed to know out loud)

which both he and his kids knew didnt really make sense

but they went with it anyway

it kind of gave him an excuse to feel like he did something so he could leave lol

sometimes he would look off into the distance contemplating his life choices lmao or wondering just how easier this would be if you were there instead

but he didnt want to call you because you were busy at work or out with friends or something like that

head scratches and annoyed sighs

maybe he should have paid more attention in school…

but he already graduated so why is he forced to learn this stuff again

he’d get frustrated and just be like “you know you’re old enough to do this yourself.”

or “aren’t you supposed to study to know this?”

cue his children giving him blank stares because they’ve all heard the story of his academic prowess (or lack thereof) and dedication to studying (or lack thereof) so could he really judge them?

no but that would just make him get all huffy

why did his children have to get some of his personality and look at him with the eyes he usually gave people to get them to back off

worse why did they have to be immune to his glares, just like their mother

#5sos #Michael clifford #Michael clifford x reader #Michael clifford fluff #5sos fluff #5sos imagines #bad boy michael #bad boy fluff #college au #ask #questions

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ssadumba55 · 3 years

Text

Spencer Raises Henry AU (Eventual Ralvez) Headcanons

The day it all went down started like any other day

It had been a rare day off work for the entire team, they needed time to relax, enjoy time to themselves

Spencer had spent the day reading as many books as he could

It was almost like a game to see how many books he could finish in a day

His phone rang and he perked up, interested

His team was all off enjoying their nights, they’d have no reason to call him and he didn’t have anyone else who would call

He picked the phone up and read the caller ID

It was Garcia. Did they have a case to get to after all?

“Garcia?”

“Reid, something’s happened to JJ and WIll. I was supposed to babysit Henry tonight, but I just got a call from the hospital-”

“I’m on my way.”

Arriving at the hospital was one of the most life changing moments of his life

Garcia was trying to contact the rest of the team (some of them had their phones off to avoid getting called back into work for the night)

He sat with Henry, who was too young to fully understand what was going on

The nurse came to talk to him

It had been a car crash

“Mr. LaMontagne didn’t make it.”

“What about...” He couldn’t even bring himself to say his best friends name he was so worried

“Coma. She could wake up eventually.”

He didn’t want to think about the statistics for coma patients

That night, he took Henry home.

He had made a promise to take care of him if anything happened to her and he was determined to keep that promise

His one bedroom apartment wasn’t the type of place for raising a kid but he made it work

Eventually he upgraded to a two bedroom apartment in the same building, if only to get Garcia off his back about Henry not having his own bedroom

Spencer can’t really cook but he spends hours teaching himself to be able to provide for Henry

When on cases, he either leaves Henry with a babysitter or with Hotch’s sister in law and Jack. He prefers to leave him with Jessica, but he hates being an extra burden so he does hire a lot of babysitters.

Eventually, once Blake leaves and Callahan joins sometimes he leaves Henry with her husband and niece

Spencer helps Henry with homework

Even when on cases, he calls Henry every night, sometimes even reads him a story over the phone if he can’t sleep

Whenever Henry starts to miss his mom and dad, he takes him to the hospital. JJ never wakes up but he holds out hope she will.

When he has to deal with his mothers Alzheimer’s, he leaves Henry with Garcia, not wanting him to have to grow up as fast as he did

He still visits as much as possible but he has to take care of his mother now

Then suddenly he’s in prison convicted of murder and he can’t take care of Henry or his mom

He feels like he’s failed JJ

Once everything is over and he’s been cleared, hugging Henry and his mom feels like the best feeling in the world

And Luke is there for him to lean on

At first as a friend, but then as more

The two had grown close before he’d gone to prison and even closer while he was in prison (Luke had played a huge part in getting him protection)

But now it’s different

Because Scratch is gone at this point, he’s not in prison, their lives aren’t in danger

Luke offers his home to Spencer and Henry, Spencer is hesitant. Once again he doesn’t want to be a burden.

“You can’t be a burden to me, Spencer. I love you. If anything, I’m the burden.”

Henry loves Roxy

Henry and Luke spend lots of time walking Roxy, playing with her together

Spencer always hangs back and watches them, rolling his eyes affectionately

Movie nights in the Reid-Alvez-LaMontagne household are always chaotic but fun

Cuddling constantly

Then one day they get the call from the hospital that JJ has woken up

The first person she asked for was Henry

So much has changed within the time she was unconscious and yet, as Spencer and Luke watch her and Henry interact it feels like no time has passed at all

Spencer finally gets to introduce her to Luke, even though she’s the one in the hospital bed she becomes the protective best friend immediately

“Thank you for taking care of Henry, Spence. You did a great job.”

By the time JJ is home with her son once more, all his stuff taken from Spencer and Luke’s house, Spencer feels empty

He misses Henry

“You know we could get one of our own someday, right?” Luke breaks the silence, he’d noticed Spencer staring absently at the room where Henry had once occupied

“I think I’d like that.” Spencer leans into him, smiling slightly.

#queued headcanons #wrote this in class #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid imagines #ralvez headcanons #henry and spencer headcanons #criminal minds au #ralvez imagine #criminal minds imagines

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wistfulcynic · 4 years

Text

The Meet-Cute, Part One

In which Ruby decides that what Emma’s love life needs is a good old-fashioned meet-cute, and sets about arranging one for her. Or two, or three, or six...whatever, she’ll set up however many it takes for her friend to meet The One. But it may turn out that Emma doesn’t need any help finding The One after all...

Rating: T Words: 5.2k (first chapter)

On AO3

LOOK @optomisticgirl I WROTE THE THING.

Also, @ohmightydevviepuu, @shireness-says, and @distant-rose you are complicit in the writing of the thing.

PART ONE:

“What you need, Emma Swan, is a meet-cute.”

Emma swallowed a sigh but couldn’t hold back the accompanying eye-roll. “I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing I need.”

“No, hear me out,” Ruby insisted, her eyes alight with excitement. “This is actually perfect for you.”

Emma let the sigh go this time, reminding herself firmly that Ruby was her best friend and had been for years.

“All right,” she said. “Tell me why I need a meet-cute.”

“Yesssss,” said Ruby. “Okay, listen. There’s nobody at work you’re interested in dating, right?”

“My co-worker is literally my brother.”

“Yeah that’s kind of what I meant. Most people meet their future spouses at work—”

“That’s not a real statistic.”

“—but—yes, it is real—but there’s no one at work for you and that’s not likely to change, so you have to look elsewhere. Now, the next most common place to meet someone is where you live—

“Seriously, you’re just making this stuff up.”

“—but there’s no one for you there, either,” Ruby pressed on, ignoring her. “No cute guys across the hall—“

“No straight ones anyway.”

“—and seeing as you are for some strange reason dead-set against online dating—”

“I absolutely am.” Emma shuddered at the hideous thought.

“—which actually does work, by the way.”

“It doesn’t. You and Mulan are just outliers.”

“Look, Emma, don’t knock the matchmaking power of Good Omens Discord chats until you try them.”

“Yeah, no thanks.”

“Well then,” Ruby declared, in a voice that suggested she thought she’d won the argument. “That leaves you with no option but the meet-cute.”

“Really, that’s my only option?”

“Just think about it, Emma.” Ruby’s eyes grew dreamy. “Adorable mix-ups in coffee shops… picking up the wrong leash at the dog park…”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“…you both reach for the last croissant…”

“Where am I going to find a croissant in Storybrooke?”

“The last bear claw then, the pastry is really beside the point.”

“And what is the point?”

“The point is that you meet someone and it’s fucking cute, okay? And then you fall in love and live happily ever after.”

“Or I could just, you know, go on as I am, not meeting anyone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, woman,” said Ruby sternly. “Do you want to live the rest of your life alone?”

Emma shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Better than being stuck with someone she didn’t love, just for some dumb reason like—

“Do you want Henry to grow up without a father?”

—like giving her son a decent man in his life.

“Henry has a father,” she reminded Ruby. One he hadn’t seen for the best part of a year, but still.

“Do you want Henry to grow up without a father figure who isn’t a massive douche?” amended Ruby. Emma sighed again.

“Neal does the best he can,” she insisted.

Ruby snorted. “Sure he does.”

“He does, really. He’s just… not cut out to be a parent.”

“Well, that’s for sure.”

But Emma didn’t blame Neal for being a shit dad, though she knew her friends and family did. It wasn’t his fault it was hers, for stupidly falling for and getting knocked up by a guy whose ‘best’ was showing up once or twice a year to shower Henry with presents and promises before disappearing again without a word a few weeks later. At first it had broken both their hearts—Henry’s from disappointment and Emma’s from anger and guilt over his disappointment—but Henry was twelve now and starting to learn that the parents he adored were human and flawed, and to adjust his expectations accordingly. Emma had to admit that it was a relief not to have to cover Neal’s ass anymore by trying to make excuses for him, however deeply she regretted Henry’s loss of innocence.

And yeah, it would be nice not to have to raise her kid alone. Neal got to be the fun parent, buying Henry all the stuff she couldn’t afford and taking him on trips to exciting places, leaving Emma to enforce bedtimes and check homework and try to make Henry eat the vegetables she herself hated. Having someone else around, a real adult she could rely on to share those responsibilities with her, that would be good. Great, really. Wonderful, in fact. But dating was hard enough without having to start it off by explaining that even though you yourself weren’t yet thirty you came in a two-for-one deal with a near-teenager, and Emma had had far too many first dates end early and awkwardly to hold out much hope that she would ever meet the man of her dreams, be it cute or any other way.

“I appreciate the thought, Rubes, I really do,” she said. “But I’m just not looking for anyone right now.”

“But don’t you see?” Ruby cried. “That’s the best time to meet someone—when you’re not looking.”

Emma threw up her hands. “You are impossible and I’m not talking about this with you anymore. I’ve got to get back to work anyway.”

“All right.” Ruby shrugged and let the subject drop, but the glint that still remained in her eye warned Emma that this wasn’t over—not by a long shot.

—

Before she returned to work after her lunch with Ruby, Emma stopped by the library. Belle wasn’t at her usual spot behind the desk so Emma ventured into the stacks on her own, in search of some books that would help Henry with his school project on the solar system. She was standing in the astronomy section with her hands shoved into the back pockets of her jeans, frowning at the frankly baffling array of options when a voice spoke just to her left.

“Can I help you find something?” it said.

Emma turned with a smile that stalled abruptly as her mouth dropped open. “Um,” she said, blinking in confusion at the blue eyes and dark hair that very definitely did not belong to Belle, and the bright smile that took her breath away. “I actually could use some help, but—sorry, but do you work here?”

The owner of the voice—and the hair and the eyes—laughed. “I do, for the moment at least.”

“Did something happen to Belle?”

“To her grandfather, apparently,” he replied. “I’m not sure of the details but Belle told me she had to go back to Australia for family reasons.”

“Oh. I didn’t hear anything about that.”

The man’s eyebrow twitched in a small frown. “Well, it was quite at the last minute, so she probably didn’t have time to tell everyone. But I’d spoken to her recently and mentioned I was looking for a quiet place to spend a few weeks’ holiday and so when she asked if I could come here and cover for her for a while, I gladly agreed.”

“And why would she call you?” Emma nearly flinched at the harshness in her tone but the man’s smile widened and his eyes twinkled, sucking even more air from her lungs.

“We’re old friends from library school,” he explained, as Emma struggled for breath. “My name’s Killian Jones.”

His smile began to crumble as Emma just stood and stared at him, until she managed to shake herself out of her breathless haze and smile back. “Emma Swan,” she said. “I’m the town sheriff.”

“Ah.” Killian’s grin brightened again, and Emma thought vaguely that he should really have a licence for that thing. “That explains all the questions.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We don’t get many new faces in Storybrooke and, well—”

“Aye, of course, you can’t be too careful.”

“Um, right. Exactly.”

“Well, Sheriff Swan,” said Killian, with an absurd little waggle of his eyebrows, “I can assure you that haven’t broken any laws, but then I did only arrive in town last night so there’s still plenty of time.”

Emma laughed. She couldn’t help it, his goofy humour and ridiculous eyebrows were too charming. “But if you broke the law I’d have to lock you up,” she replied, and fucking hell was she flirting with him?

He seemed to think so, if the way his eyes glinted as he leaned in closer was any indication. “I might not mind being locked up, if you promised to stay and guard me,” he murmured.

Emma’s breath caught again at the look in his eyes, the edge of danger behind the flirty charm. “Do you talk like this to all library patrons?” she asked, cursing the raspiness in her voice.

“Definitely not. It’s highly unprofessional, but then there’s not much else I can say when you still haven’t answered my question.”

She swallowed hard. “Wh—what question?”

“Can I help you find anything?”

“Oh.” Duh, Emma. “Um, yeah, actually. My son has to do a project on the solar system, so I’m looking for some books he could use.”

She waited for Killian to freeze up, to awkwardly withdraw from her now that he knew she had a kid. But he simply nodded and asked “How old is your lad?”

“Ah, he’s twelve. Sixth grade.”

“Hmmm, in that case I’d recommend this one.” He reached over her shoulder to take a book from the shelf, giving Emma a whiff of some spicy cologne and a briny scent like he’d been out on the sea. Her knees went weak, and when he held out the book she stared blankly at it, trying to marshal her scrambled thoughts back into some kind of order. “It’s an excellent overview of the solar system with plenty of details on all the planets,” Killian explained, “but the language is accessible for someone your boy’s age.” His eyebrows rose again in an expectant look.

“Um. That looks great, thanks.”

“See how he gets on with it, and if he needs more information I’d be happy to make another recommendation.”

Emma nodded and followed him to the check-out desk, wordlessly handing him her card and watching as he completed the process of checking out the book. When he finished he tucked a bookmark between the pages and handed it to her with another warm smile.

“Well, Emma Swan, it’s been lovely talking to you,” he said. “I hope it won’t be a one-time thing.”

“I—I’m in here a lot,” she replied. It was only a slight exaggeration. Henry was in the library a lot and she often came to pick him up. “So I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

For the third time in fifteen minutes Killian Jones stole her breath with his smile. “I’m looking forward to it already,” he said.

—

The next morning Emma was at Granny’s waiting in line for coffee when out of nowhere someone gave her a hard shove, knocking her into the man in front of her, who had just accepted his cup from Ruby.

“Oh my God!” she cried. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened!”

“It’s okay,” said the man with a tight smile, shaking droplets of coffee off his hand as Ruby’s eyes grew comically wide.

“Oh, no,” she said. “What a terrible accident. Let me get you another cup, sir.”

“Thanks,” said the man, and Emma’s own eyes nearly rolled clean from her head. Ruby was known for her lack of subtlety but this was ridiculous, even for her. Emma glanced over her shoulder just in time to spot the tip of Mulan’s braid just disappearing through the door.

“So,” the man was saying to Ruby when Emma returned her attention to him, leaning on the counter and giving her a crooked grin. “You come here often?”

“Every day,” said Ruby dryly. “I work here. But maybe you’d like to ask Emma that question.”

The man’s pale blue eyes flitted to Emma, then rapidly away. “I’d rather ask you.”

Ruby gave a frustrated huff. “Here’s your coffee.” She thrust the new cup at the man and turned her back.

“What’s her problem?” the man muttered.

“I don’t know,” snapped Emma, “maybe you should ask her wife.” The man’s eyes widened in alarm at the look on her face and he backed away, slowly edging towards the door.

“Have a great day,” she called after him, then turned to her best friend as the man fled the diner.

“I hope you’re happy,” she hissed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ruby asked, the picture of innocence. Emma rolled her eyes.

“I’m guessing this was your attempt at a coffee shop meet-cute? I spill the man’s coffee, apologise profusely, he laughs it off. I offer to buy him another cup, he refuses but asks me to dinner instead? Was that the idea?”

“...maybe.”

“And you see how well it turned out?”

“He was clearly just not The One,” said Ruby stubbornly.

“There is no ‘The One’ Rubes, that is a myth, and I cannot believe you roped Mulan into this nonsense too.”

“I didn’t rope her in, she volunteered! We both want you to be happy, Emma.”

“And you think dumping coffee on the world’s creepiest doctor will make me happy?”

“What? Have you met him before?”

“Yeah. Last year when Henry broke his arm. You’ll be pleased to hear that he tried to hit on me then. Right in front of my kid.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Meet-cutes only work in romcoms and fanfics, Ruby. Here in reality they just piss people off.”

“Well,” said Ruby, handing Emma her coffee, determination clear in the set of her jaw. “We’ll see about that.”

—

Emma: What do you want for dinner?

Henry: What have we got?

Emma: Nothing, that’s why I’m asking. I can stop at the store on the way home.

Henry: I suppose pizza isn’t an option?

Emma: We had that yesterday.

Henry: Not a problem for me. But chicken or something would be okay too.

Emma: One of those rotisserie chickens?

Henry: Yeah, sounds good.

Emma: Okay, kid. See you at home.

Emma was standing in the grocery store, frowning as she compared the rotisserie chickens when a voice spoke just to her left.

“I don’t think there’s much of a difference between them, love.”

Her heart leapt and her skin tingled, and yet when she turned to face Killian Jones—and his damned smile—she was still not prepared.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly. “I, um, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“No reason why you should, I guess, except that I like all people do need to eat from time to time.”

“Of course.” She felt foolish, but his expression was warm and only slightly teasing.

“How did your son get on with the book?” he asked.

“Really well! He read for like two hours last night. Thanks for the recommendation.”

“Any time.”

They stood grinning at each other until someone behind them cleared his throat and they both gave a little start. Killian rubbed the back of his neck as he moved aside to allow Mr Clark to select a chicken.

“So, um,” said Emma after he’d left. “Are you getting stuff for dinner?”

“Aye. I’m staying in the apartment above the library and this morning I discovered that the oven doesn’t work, and the repairman can't come until tomorrow. So I need something that comes pre-cooked. Hence rotisserie chicken.”

“Solid plan,” said Emma, though she felt sad thinking of this lovely man eating dinner alone in that tiny apartment, and that was the only reason that she blurted out “But, ah, why don’t you come over and eat with Henry and me?”

“Oh.” Killian blinked in surprise.

“Since we’re both having the same thing it makes sense not to waste a chicken,” Emma barrelled on. “When Henry and I get one we’ve always got leftovers, so… I mean, you don’t have to if you’d rather not—”

“No, no. I mean, yes! Yes, I’d like that.”

“Oh. Um, good.”

He smiled again, bright as always but with a hint of shyness that caught her off guard. “Is it, ah, just the two of you?” he asked. “Presuming Henry is your son, that is?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “His dad’s, um... not in the picture.”

“I see. Well then I would love to share a meal with you, Emma Swan. And your son. And perhaps you would allow me to bring dessert?”

Emma’s heart was pounding so loudly now she was sure he must be able to hear it. “That’d be great. Um, here’s my cell number, just at the bottom of this.” She took a business card from her pocket and handed it to him. “Text me and I’ll send you directions to our place. Can you come over about six?”

“Six it is.” Killian slipped the card into his own pocket carefully, as though he didn’t wish to harm it. “I’ll see you then.”

—

Emma finished the rest of her shopping in a daze, wandering haphazardly through the aisles and putting random things in her cart without thinking before giving herself a mental slap and a stern admonition to get a fucking grip. She removed the strawberry syrup from her cart (she and Henry both hated fake strawberry flavour) and the tuna (what the hell had she been thinking?) and then remembered that Henry was nearly out of peanut butter. His favourite kind was the most popular one and the store could hardly keep it stocked, so she was pleased to see that there was one jar left as she approached the shelf. Just as she was reaching for it, though, another hand appeared and snatched it from her grip.

“Hey!” she cried indignantly. “That was mine!”

“Sorry,” said the man who’d taken it. He didn’t look sorry in the slightest. “Maybe they’ve got more in the back?”

“Are you kidding me?” Emma huffed.

“Nope,” the man replied. “Look, I really am sorry but someone needs this peanut butter. She sent me in here to get it specifically.”

Emma hissed her breath out through her teeth. “She did, did she? And did she say why she couldn’t get the damn peanut butter herself?”

“Ah, no,” said the man, frowning warily at her. “She didn’t. But listen, lady it’s just a jar of peanut butter.”

Emma’s lip curled into a snarl and the man’s eyes widened in alarm. He backed away from her, nearly stumbling in his haste. “So, um, I’m going to, ah, go now,” he stuttered. “Bye.”

He turned and fled towards the checkouts with Emma close on his heels. She followed him to the self-checkout line where he kept shooting nervous looks over his shoulder at her and she amused herself by giving him darker and darker glares each time and keeping her eyes fixed on him when he took the jar of peanut butter and ran out the door.

When she arrived at where she’d left her car Emma was entirely unsurprised to find Ruby there, leaning against the hood and looking slightly sheepish.

“So what was the plan this time?” asked Emma. “That we would both reach for the last jar of peanut butter, our fingers would touch, sparks would fly, and we would exchange cute banter with sexually charged undertones ending in a date?”

Ruby nodded. “Something like that.”

“Ruby, I keep telling you, that is not how real life works!”

“Oh yeah?” Ruby challenged. “Well, what about David and Mary Margaret! They had a meet-cute.”

“He mistook her for a burglar and she hit him in the face!”

“Exactly!”

“How is that a meet-cute?”

“How is it not? They met, it was cute, and now they’ve got an amazing story to tell their kids.”

“I met Neal when I tried to steal the car he’d already stolen,” Emma pointed out. “That’s an amazing story and yet our relationship was a fucking dumpster fire that I’d be happy to forget all about if it weren’t for Henry. Not all cute meetings end in happily ever after, and frankly I don’t think a squabble over peanut butter in a small town grocery store is the best way to jump-start true love.”

“And what would you know about true love?” Ruby snapped, then gasped in horror as her eyes went wide and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, Emma, I’m so sorry,” she whispered through her fingers. “I didn’t mean it.”

Emma’s chest felt tight. “It’s okay,” she muttered.

“No, it really isn’t.” Ruby gripped Emma’s hands in hers. “I love you, Ems, and you’re one of the most loving people I know. That’s why I want so badly to see you happy.”

“I know.” Emma nodded and gave Ruby’s hands a squeeze. “I know you didn’t mean to say it.” However true it might be, she thought bitterly.

“Let me make it up to you—”

“Oh my God, please don’t—”

“—with this free jar of peanut butter!” finished Ruby triumphantly. She reached into her bag and removed the jar, offering it up with a flourish.

Emma smiled as she took it. “Thanks. I wasn’t looking forward to telling Henry how someone stole the last jar right out from under me.”

Ruby flashed a grin, then turned solemn. “Are we okay, Emma?” she asked hesitantly. “Truly?”

“Of course we are,” Emma reassured her. “Truly. I do have to get going though I have—uh, Henry will be getting hungry.”

“Of course.” Ruby stepped back to let Emma unlock her car door. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you.”

As Emma drove home she tried not to think about why she hadn’t told Ruby that Killian was coming for dinner. It might stop her friend’s meet-cute-ing attempts if she knew Emma had a—well, not a date exactly but a man coming over to... well, just to eat really, but still. She could have spun it so it seemed like a date and got Ruby off her back, at least for a while. Yet for some reason Emma wanted to keep Killian just for herself. At least for a while.

—

Killian Jones was punctual and he could follow directions, Emma thought when her doorbell rang that evening at six o’clock precisely. That alone put him head and shoulders above Neal... and what the hell was she doing comparing a man she’d literally met yesterday with her son’s useless father, even just in the privacy of her own head?

She smoothed her hair and the front of her blouse and took a deep breath to calm herself before opening the door, and still she was not prepared for that stupid, gorgeous smile.

“Good evening, Swan,” Killian greeted her. “I come bearing brownies.”

And wine, she couldn’t help noticing as she stepped back to let him in. “Great, uh, brownies are my favourite,” she lied. “Um, Killian, I’d like you to meet my son, Henry.”

Henry came forward with smile on his lips and mild confusion in his eyes. “Hi Killian, nice to meet you.”

“And you, lad. I hope you like brownies as well.”

“I love them,” Henry replied. “Though my mom usually prefers—” he broke off when Emma gave him a Look. “Ah, she prefers hers without nuts.”

“Well, she’s in luck because these are nut-free.”

“Sounds perfect!” said Henry brightly, and Emma didn’t think she’d ever loved him more.

“Let me just take those from you,” she said, relieving Killian of the box of brownies and bottle of wine. “Henry, can you show him into the living room? Oh, and Killian what would you like to drink?”

“Whatever’s easiest, love.”

“Water, soda, beer?”

“Beer would be great.”

“Coming right up.”

Emma fled to the kitchen, doing her best not to look like she was fleeing. Once safety through the door she set the brownies and wine on the counter and desperately drew air into her lungs. She wasn’t going to survive spending much more time with Killian if she didn’t learn to breathe around him, she thought wryly, and also why was she even thinking about spending more time with him—this was nothing but a casual, friendly meal and they had only just met.

“Get a fucking grip, Emma,” she reminded herself firmly, and went to pour some beer.

When she entered the living room a few minutes later Killian and Henry were sitting next to each other on the sofa, deep in discussion about the solar system. Henry had his project notes spread out on the coffee table and Killian was rubbing his chin, listening intently as her son spoke, and Emma’s heart absolutely did not melt at the sight of them. It didn’t.

She set a glass of soda in front of Henry and a beer in front of Killian, who looked up at her with a smile.

“Thanks, love.”

Aaaand there went her breath again, thought Emma. Damn it.

“Ah, I’m just going to go finish up dinner, um, if everything’s okay in here?” she said.

“Aye, I think we’ll be all right.”

“Mom, guess what? Killian knows all about astronomy and he’s going to help me make sure my project’s good!” Henry exclaimed.

“All about astronomy, eh?” teased Emma.

To her astonishment Killian’s cheeks and the tips of his ears turned pink. “A slight exaggeration on the lad’s part,” he said, scratching at a spot just below his ear. “But it is an interest of mine and I’ll do my best to be of some use to him.”

“He’s already helped me with Saturn’s moons, and now we’re gonna talk about the rings on Uranus,” said Henry excitedly. “Did you know Uranus has rings, Mom?”

“I did not,” said Emma, biting her lip as amusement glinted in Killian’s eyes.

“Yep,” Henry continued, oblivious to their mirth. “Just skinny ones, though.”

“I suppose bigger ones wouldn’t fit,” said Emma. A muscle danced in Killian’s jaw as he clenched it tight. Henry frowned.

“Uranus is still pretty big,” he said. “Not as big as Jupiter or Saturn but—hey! Are you guys laughing at Uranus?”

“Of course not, lad,” said Killian. “Uranus isn’t funny at all.”

“It’s very serious actually,” said Emma.

“I certainly take it seriously,” Killian agreed.

Henry glared at them. “You guys realise I’m the twelve-year-old boy, right? If anyone should be making Uranus jokes it’s me.”

“Well you have been letting some excellent joke opportunities slip by you, my boy.”

“Yeah, Henry, we’re just picking up your slack.”

“Much like rings on Uranus might.”

“Oh my God,” Henry groaned, as Emma lost control of her laughter and collapsed onto the sofa. Killian was grinning like a maniac, ridiculously pleased with himself, which only made her laugh harder. Henry held out for nearly a full minute before he started giggling too, then all three of them held their stomachs and roared.

—

Their fit of shared hilarity helped Emma relax, and the dinner ended up being one of the best evenings she’d had in a long time. Killian, as it turned out, had spent several years in the navy before he became a librarian. He had hundreds of stories about his adventures in far-off lands and seemingly endless patience for inquisitive twelve-year-olds who wanted to hear every single one.

Emma sat and ate and listened as Killian regaled her son with his tales, and tried not to think too hard about how simply nice this was. Like the sort of pleasant family meal she’d always dreamed of as a child and regretted that she couldn’t give Henry, and she really needed to stop thinking about Killian like he was an actual part of her life when she’d barely known him for a day. She knew better than that. From bitter experience.

And yet. Killian’s kindness to and interest in Henry was genuine, she was sure of it. There was no hint in his words or actions to suggest that he was trying to use her kid to get to her, or that he was only pretending to care about Henry’s project. Her superpower didn’t even twitch. Every instinct Emma had was screaming that the most sinister thing about Killian Jones was how dangerously attractive she found him. He was just a nice man who knew how to talk to children. A nice, insanely hot man with the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen and a smile that stole all the air from her lungs, who not only didn’t run when he found out about her kid but actually liked him.

Fuck, she thought, as Killian caught her eye and gave her a little half-smile that had her gasping for air. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

—

“Well, thank you for a lovely evening, Swan.” Killian’s hand was on the doorknob but he seemed in no great hurry to leave, and she was equally not eager to see him go. “I had a wonderful time.”

“Me too. And thanks for being so nice to Henry.”

“Your boy is a delight, it was no hardship.”

“Still. It meant a lot to him.” She didn’t mention Neal and Killian didn’t ask, but she had the strangest feeling that they both wished they could.

You only just met him, damn it!

“It was my pleasure,” said Killian, and the way his voice went gruff on the word pleasure set her heart racing and heat blooming across her skin, and when his breath caught and his gaze dropped to her lips she had to force herself to remember that this wasn’t a date and she didn’t actually know this man. But she could tell from the rasp in his throat and the flush on his cheeks that he was feeling the same things she was, that he wanted the same things just as badly, and it would be easy, so easy just to lean in and press her lips to his—

Too easy, and far too risky. Emma gulped and stepped back as Killian gave a shaky exhale, closing his eyes as his Adam’s apple bobbed and Emma shoved her hands hard into her jeans pockets. He opened his eyes and then the door and gave her a brief smile before stepping into the hallway. Emma dug her fingers into her legs and firmly squashed the tiny part of her that wanted to beg him to stay.

“Well, ah, thanks for coming,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Aye.” He took two steps then stopped and turned back. “Er, perhaps next time you might allow me to provide the meal?” he said hesitantly. “Just for you?”

“Um. What?” said Emma, then immediately wanted to kick herself.

Killian’s nervous expression softened. “Well you see, as much as I enjoyed Henry’s company this evening, I’d very much like to take you out, Emma,” he said. “Just the two of us. On a date.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Aye, really. On Friday, perhaps, if you’re free?”

“Ah, yeah, I can be,” she replied, trying not to sound too eager. “I’ll have to see if I can get someone to watch Henry, but… yeah. I’d like that.”

That breath-stealing smile broke across his face as she knew it would, and yet she still wasn’t ready for it. “It’s a date, then,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something warm.”

“Uh.. okay.”

“And love, if you can’t find someone to look after Henry at such short notice I’d still like to spend the evening with you.” Killian’s face was earnest now. “With both of you, I mean. We’ll just postpone our date until a more convenient time.”

A lump rose in Emma’s throat and for a moment she thought she might cry. “I—that’d be good too. I’ll let you know.”

He nodded. “Good night, then, Swan.”

“Good night.”

—

@katie-dub @thisonesatellite @spartanguard @kmomof4 @stahlop @mariakov81 @teamhook in case you’re interested :)

#cs fic #cs ff #cs ff au #cs fic au #captain swan #captain cobra #meet-cutes #sort of #fluff #like lots of it #ridiculous amounts #also dumb jokes #and dates #the meet cute #profdanglaisstuff

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formless-monkeys · 4 years

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What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors.

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team.

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well.

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further.

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it.

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship.

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point.

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that.

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context.

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding.

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack.

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life.

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want.

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of.

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help.

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does.

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded.

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro.

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that.

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

#srmthfg #super robot monkey team hyperforce go #srmthg #chinmay #Mandotto #Mantauri #Mandareena #Manokko #Captain Alchemist #Ottauri #Polymonkeys #Gibottarx #Anonymous

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