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#never trusted them never given them everything
briarbabyxo · 19 hours
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A port mafia Cinderella.
pairings : PmZai x Reader. (dazai pov)
⚠︎︎: arranged marriages mentioned, dark-ish themes?,
♺: Reblog,Request and repeat!
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Dazai always detested parties. No surprise that Mori always made him attend, however. The port mafia was a very high class organization with many social ties everywhere - for example the high minister of japan himself came to this particular party tonight, some important businessmen or politicians came every time they were held. Most of the time they sought out financial opportunities or some other kind of way they could benefit from the dark underbelly of Yokohama…
No, that wasn’t what Dazai hated - really. He more or less expected and embraced that particular factor of the usual social gatherings. But what he hated was when they would try to forcibly wed themselves into the port mafias social radar. Often times gatherings like the very one he was distancing himself from found a way to call a very sudden engagement, most of the time Mori himself would make the approval. What he said goes, he was the boss after all. Nobody was allowed to argue with him without expecting some sort or repercussions. Another very small portion of the time was just for a scandal. Very rare and very far between but he had seen maybe one or two of them.
There had always been pressure for the mafia executives to be married, not a huge one but enough to cause discomfort. The reality was that the port mafia itself was a complex dance, you wanted power? Marry into it or struggle with a low chance of survival. Dazai got lucky in the sense that he had a secret that him and Mori shared, it was like he took a shortcut. Others however were not so fortunate.
dazai sighed, murmuring something to himself about the stuffiness of the room … he was usually a very extroverted person but he barely knew these people - they acted so sweet as if they wanted to use him, wring him dry and air him out for the world to see - sure, some of the politicians and business leaders brought their children and most of them were his age or around that, heck! He could’ve said some of them were pretty good looking … but they all felt wrong, like he couldn’t trust them no matter how hard he would try. Like no matter how much time he would spend it would always end up with him bleeding out.
it would always end painfully.
He wished Chuuya were here - sure, he was the worst best friend in the world but he was his best friend in the world, his dog even. They were loyal to one another - they trusted one another. Trust was a thing that was hard to come by and rarely given out. Money buys a lot of things - but he knew that it would never buy trust. He wished that Oda where here, the only man to make him change. Maybe he could spread a bit of ‘change’ on how to make this party more sufferable - or at least Ango even! He was stranded.
Suddenly the doors opened again - nobody else really noticed it because they were caught up in la-la land … but he did, he hopped it was someone he could actually stand. But he prayed it wasn’t akutagawa. Dazai already had enough of his failure for one day.
It was a girl, a pretty girl at that. She looked a tad nervous surrounded by everything, he couldn’t blame her. He pitied her - she dressed and seemed like she belonged yet something or another was out of place. One thing that caught his high were her heels, god they looked uncomfortable. I mean, they were glass! Just pure fucking glass. If she took one clumsy step or twisted her ankle the shards would be everywhere. It was entirely unethical, yet he found them pretty. They were a stupid idea - yet a pretty one indeed.
She looked a bit excited too when he got a better look at her, actually. She was breathtaking in her dress, usually he avoided seeing people in that way just because of how dangerous attachment was, Ane-San proved that herself. But the girl was a pitiful sight! He couldn’t let her flail around like a fish out of water - no matter how cruel he was, he was also starving in sheer boredom.
“Excuse me miss? You seem a bit … uhm .. lost, would you care for a drink?” He asked, a little bow to tie the bow of the illusion of a perfect gentleman. The girl turned around and he got a close up of her face, if he thought she looked nice from behind she was gorgeous up front. her eyes were like diamonds and her lips looked so … soft. He got a strange feeling looking at her, he couldn’t explain it. It was like his heart already knew her - like it craved for her.
The feeling was raw. It felt uncomfortable but a good kind of uncomfortable - like he would imagine getting smothered in a warm blanket of joy and misery would feel. He was being idiotic! He barely knew this poor girl - yet he found himself pressing a kiss onto the back of her hand more quickly than he wanted to admit.
“M-my name is (name) - pleasure to meet your acquaintance, if you don’t mind me asking - what’s your name?”
dazai pulled his mouth away, a smile clawing its way upwards to his lips - it was a crooked little grin. It was genuine though - unlike the other people you would find here.
“Dazai, Osamu Dazai - you probably know me by a few of my titles however, but we don’t have to get into that now that you know my name, doll.”
He didn’t want you to get scared of him or make a judgement of him so easily - for now he was Dazai and not the demon prodigy, Not the youngest port mafia executive. It was weird pretending to be your equal.
“Oh - Okay, it’s lovely to meet you, Dazai.”
The girl chuckled - god, he loved when she said his name. Without contempt or malice. It had some kind of loving undertone when you said it … Maybe it was courtesy but he caught himself hoping it was more.
He read somewhere in a book the main character said something along the lines of,
“Falling in love with her was as easy as falling down a rabbit hole - the hard part was not falling in love. It was like climbing upwards out of a cliff with two broken arms.”
He never did understand how true those words were until now. He never did find himself believing in fairytales but he has always believed in common sense. ‘Come on! He just found out the girls name! He hardly knew her, yet he found himself believing in happy ever afters and a light at the end of the tunnel. And to put his symptoms into perspective - his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms are heavy.
He never wanted to be head over heels for anyone. He knew life was unfair and he never believed in karma - but now he was counting everything he did to deserve this, deserve her.
“mm … there should be a slow dance soon if you would like to join me for that - if you would like something to drink as well we have some wine and maybe a bit of champagne if I look hard enough.”
dazai said, hoping she would say yes. His world felt so dull. the life around him was always contrived, unempathetic, and cruel. So he became all of those things - hardening himself. Yet, this girl was so kind it made him think that maybe there was a tad more kindness than met the eye. Or met his eye, at least.
“I would love that,Dazai.”
The girl giggled - she seemed so excited to dance with him and drink with him, and just as promised the music from the violins filled the room with their song. Dazai was true to his words, it was slow but it wasn’t boring. He would twirl her around and then when the music stopped … he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned in for a kiss.
It was a soft kiss but it got the message across perfectly fine, and when he pulled away the girl got on her tippy toes to give him another kiss - her fingers finding their way into his hair and his own around her waist.
He was about to ask for her number or something to get closer to her again - maybe to go to her house as his shipping container was a bit crowded and the air a bit stale …
When the clock chimed.
It chimed a total of twelve times, as most of the port mafias social gatherings ran through to the dark hours of the night - the girl however seemed a tad distraught by the sound.
“I….i-im sorry - it was nice meeting you Dazai but I have to go, maybe in another world ..”
no .. no .. no, you were literally slipping through his fingers as you spoke - running away with your glass heels tap-tap-tapping on the marbled ground as the candle light from the chandelier illuminated your dress, as you left the port mafia building he ran after you. He ran and ran until he lost you …
Only leaving a single glass heel.
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airas-story · 22 hours
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Simple Gifts
“Here.” Stephen thrust the small package at Tony. He’d been debating with himself for the last three weeks. First about whether to get Tony something or not. Colonel Rhodes had assured him that Tony never expected anything from his friends, given how hard Tony could be to shop for—Stephen didn’t exactly want to stick himself in the friend category, anyways, even if he’d yet to make any sort of move. Then, when he’d finally decided to bite the bullet and do it, he’d had to decide what in the world he was supposed to give someone who had essentially everything.
Tony stared down at the package for a long moment, brow furrowed in bemusement, but he took the package. “What is it?”
Stephen would have thought that was obvious. “Your birthday present, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Tony repeated. “People don’t get me presents,” he said the words as though Stephen should know better. “I’m kind of hard to shop for.”
“Trust me,” Stephen said. “I’m well aware of that.”
Tony eyed him for a long moment, then shrugged before carefully unwrapping the present. Stephen almost wished he’d just rip the wrapping paper off and get it over with, but Tony was apparently being contrary—even unknowingly—because he seemed to have decided that he was going to finish with a perfect thing of wrapping paper.
It seemed to take forever for Tony to unwrap the present, prying open the box carefully. He froze.
Stephen bit his lip. Had this been a bad idea? Vishanti, this had been a bad idea. He shouldn’t have gotten anything. Or if he had, he should have gotten something normal.
“What is it?” Tony asked.
“They’re spells,” Stephen explained. He moved closer, slipping into Tony’s space. “Here, dump them out.”
Tony carefully tilted the box; the three spells fell out into his hand, connected by a thin chain that could be hooked around Tony’s wrist. Stephen had contained each spell in a small containment unit, about the size of a standard dice.
The green and silver metal square was wrapped around the orange spells, seemingly contained by glass, though that was an illusion rather than a reality.
Stephen picked up the chain, settling it on his own hand. He pointed at the first one on the right. “This spell is a spell of invisibility. It’s not an entirely impressive piece of magic, but it will last about ten minutes and can be applied five times.” He pointed at the second spell, on the left. “This one is a mild levitation spell. You probably won’t need it often, with the suit, but it’ll last about five minutes and can be used five times as well.”
Tony looked up at him, the expression on his face difficult to read. “And the last one?”
Stephen rubbed a thumb over the spell in the middle. “This is a shield charm, it should withstand all but the most powerful of spells. It can be used twice.” He’d had to decide what was more important, a heavy-duty shield spell that could only be used a few times, or a light-weight shield spell that had a higher number of applications. Knowing Tony, though, if someone was going to go after him, they’d go after him with the worst they had. “I’ve charmed the container on this one so that I can re-apply the spell once they’ve been used.” The others would vanish once they’d fulfilled their purpose, but this one…
It had been a tricky bit of magic, but well worth it. The others he could replace based off what Tony wanted—if he did ever want more—but this one… well, shielding Tony… Protecting him... There was nothing Stephen would replace that with.
Tony examined him for a moment. Stephen tried not to let his anxiety show. “Is this… all right?” He knew that Tony had some reservations about magic, still, but Stephen… well, it was what he had to give.
And admittedly, once the idea had occurred to him, Stephen hadn’t been able to stop. The idea of being able to provide Tony with magical protection had been unrelenting.
Tony bit his lip, then nodded. He held out his wrist. “Want to do the honors?”
Stephen smiled, relief filling him. He wrapped the chain around Tony’s wrist and then used a quick spell to do the latch. “Only you can take it off,” he said. “Or me,” he acknowledged. “Since it’s my magic, but for all intents and purposes, just you.”
Tony shook his hand a little. There was a faint clink of the spells knocking into each other. It looked innocuous, like a simple charm bracelet—though admittedly, one that wasn’t entirely Tony’s style—certainly not like a minor magical relic.
“How much work did this take you?” Tony asked.
Stephen shrugged. Several weeks worth, but he didn’t want to admit that. “Not much.”
Tony nodded, looking down at his bracelet. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Stephen said. “I want you to be safe.”
Tony’s smile was soft. “I don’t think I’ve ever been safer.” He paused, considering Stephen for a long moment. A small smile crossed his lips and then he was pressing up. The kiss came, soft and gentle, pressed against Stephen’s cheek.
Stephen felt a flush rush over him; he was sure his cheeks were bright red. So, yes, maybe Stephen hadn't been entirely inconspicuous about his feelings. Tony’s kiss made Stephen think he wasn’t entirely alone in that, though.
“Happy Birthday, Tony.”
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smaeemo · 15 hours
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As a whole, I think so many people don’t truly understand what “being an adult”/having a developed brain, can look like. What I see so much of the time is writers/fans making these fully grown characters act well like teenagers. Which, isn’t suprising given that most of us are in fact teenagers. AND THIS IS NOT A CRITICISM. But more as an observation. I think that when we see a character, say, Buck, and we start to project onto them we turn them roughly to our age. Or whenever we really look at characters/character relationships, we are looking at them, from OUR ages. And so, when I see people head cannoning/speculating things that are very “teenagery” I get the sense of this. And AGAIN there is really nothing wrong with that, until it becomes toxic. And so, you know, I interact and I enjoy these things, until it starts to get out of hand. Such as, the whole “lets all hate on tommy/lou ferrigno jr” situation. And I am FULLY aware this wasn’t just buddie shippers. TRUST. But, what we see there, is that their own insecurities are showing through, and their own perceptions of what relationships will look like in a (teenagery) personal perspective.
And I really, trully and honestly relate, understand, and totally get where we are coming from. And I would be super hypocritical to say I don’t sometimes do this, but when it gets to the point where there is such intense infantilism and drama coming from/to these 40y olds, it starts to get a little tiring. Because, so much of what makes (healthy) adults, “adulty” is the way they interact and view relationships and themselves.A
And because we as teenagers/trauma havers/etc. don’t really see what it’s like/have experienced it, specifically if you’ve never been in/seen a healthy relationship OR the contrary, we don’t really understand what it means to really have this healthy developmental understanding. So, when we look at these characters and relationships, we see it from a teenage/etc. perspective, rather than the target age that the characters are themselves.
Which is why, if you’ve ever rewatched a show, even if just a few months or years apart, you start to notice and see more things. And that just shows that we as people are always maturing and developing. Which is why, when we get older/a broader perspective, so many shows and characters will become so much more intense or understandble.
So again, I will reiterate, I understand and relate to everyone that continues to project onto or understand characters from these perspectives, the only time I don’t is when it starts to become an issue.
And ofc. If none of this applies to you, it’s fine to just scroll, reblog, etc. Just don’t provide negativity or hate. lol.
Also, I am speaking more from a sense of self reflection more than anything else. As I continue to mature I start to realize so much more of everything. Like rewatching friends has been a JOURNEY.
Anyways, send fic recs and q&as if you made it this far!
XOXO,
Leenya
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Based on the vampire au, Emil and Matthias get close. This is based on a friend's idea
Rated: T | Warnings: none
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There is a portrait of you in one of the gallery rooms, a large frame with smaller pictures around you. You look different, same face but your demeanor is different along with the emotionless expression; Joseph says you were not the same person as you were back then. Naib Subedar got a close taste of it when he was “hired” to fight you by both Joseph and yourself (unknowingly at the time). Norton can also recall a glimpse of the Vampire Hunter's skills but the memory is foggy due to him not being in control of himself at the time.
Matthias only has heard stories, seen you spar with Joseph or Naib Subedar, and stare at the portrait of the Hunter who fought the Vampire Lord Bloody Sword… And won.
Joseph is surprisingly humble to admit defeat, probably because of Aesop who gave an unbiased recount of the battle.
Emil also stares at the portrait but only when you are not around in the manor. You currently are with Count's Banquet, a request you did not turn down.
There is enough history between the two of you for Joseph to appear jealous of the man he once was in a relationship with before Aesop. All the others know is that the Count knew you from when you were a novice under a man named ‘Misfit’, the man who taught you everything and one you cared for deeply.
Emil is sitting under your portrait when Matthias finds him, the other vampire talking to you. The others know of Emil's separation issues, it used to cause a lot of problems given your attention and time could not be solely devoted to him. Nowadays, he still gets sad and will not sleep for days, but he also accepts he cannot latch onto you… Not the way he did with Ada.
Ada fed into Emil’s need for dependency, embraced the role of nurturer and lover, but ultimately continued the cycle of dominance over her spawn Emil. This a fact you told him when he had to hear those harsh words of reality, the nature of vampires is complex and a constant power struggle. This is built within them, it takes strength to break the cycle. Emil has only a hundred years, less time away from Ada compared to time with her… He was married to her, loved her, grateful to her, then you一 His eyes hurt from crying all night while in the gallery alone, in the darkness with only the moonlight from the opened curtain as lighting. His hand rises to block the light coming from the hall when the door is opened by… Matthias? 
Matthias sees Emil sitting on the floor looking exhausted and hugging his knees; you told Emil he can trust Matthias. You told him he is safe here no matter what everyone looks out for one another. When Matthias sits beside him, Emil’s body stiffens as he is unsure what to do or say. No words are said at first, but a few shared glances before Matthias asks Emil if he has not slept yet. The other man looks over before nodding slowly but then shakes his head slowly, his eyes are swollen, and bloody tears stain his cheeks.
A vampire that does not slumber will feed more than a properly rested vampire. Emil's appetite has increased since he has not slept and he is returning to isolating himself.
When Emil speaks it often catches Matthias off guard how deep Emil's voice is, along with his height as he is an inch or two taller than Matthias. They both are attempting to converse, many moments of silence as they never truly spoke to one another and it is honestly due in part to Matthias's jealousy towards Emil.
You give Emil special attention, the attention he needs and craves, and he has immediate access to you via your bedroom. Matthias is not fond of the fact he has to share.
Matthias moves closer and then bends partly down to hold his hand toward Emil, he offers to rest with Emil in your room.
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There they are lying side by side, back to back, Emil fast asleep from exhaustion. Matthias is awake as he never truly sleeps well between nightmares and whispers of the Embrace, plus he is lying in your bed with this man. The jealousy is there, the bitter feelings of Emil who has your attention… Your bodily warmth, your smile, damn sleeping in this bed with you!
Matthias grips the blanket covering him with an angry expression, and then that expression softens to disappointment. Self-deprecating thoughts as of course he cannot do something for himself.
A sigh, his eyes closed but open not even a second later he feels the bed shift multiple times, a whimper, and sharp intake of breaths. Emil is trembling, his hands ripping into the pillows, and blood tears start running down his face.
A nightmare, Matthias understands that— A number of them here understand this. Naib Subedar advised Matthias to not be too hard on Emil, he understood the jealousy though Naib Subedar has Norton.
Matthias turns around shifting closer, hand moving then stopping but ultimately he reaches out.
Emil jolts awake with heavy breathing as he feels the weight of an arm around his chest and back, head turning to see Matthias is close to him. He stares as the other man's eyes are closed.
Nothing is said but Emil turns around to be held properly by Matthias, both finding surprising comfort in one another. The nightmare does not return, the Embrace's voice is silent; a night of peace and comfort.
+
For the few weeks you are gone, this becomes the only way Emil can sleep. Matthias’ feelings shift as he is still envious yet it is not as strong as before. Some nights they talk, and sometimes Emil only listens to Matthias talk about what he is reading before bed, recently Emil has asked for him to pet while he places his head on Matthias’ chest.
Neither have beating hearts yet Emil likes to be this close to Matthias, to be able to hold and comfort each other.
“Can we,” Emil looks at the scars on Matthias' chest, “Sleep in your room next time?”
Matthias is quiet then the question is asked again, “Yes if you want.”
“Thank you.” A yawn after those words and Emil is asleep in no time.
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“Seems you two are getting along.” Naib Subedar points out as Emil is following Matthias who is currently carrying around a briefcase holding the accursed puppet.
Matthias glances away.
“I'm glad you aren't alone.” The Mercenary taps the Puppeteer’s shoulder before walking past him to meet up with Frederick and Luca in the piano room, both are having a debate on music. They are loud though they are not shouting at each other, just being passionate as usual.
Emil moves next to Matthias and smiles.
Matthias stares then returns a small smile, “We should get going.” 
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storiesbyjes2g · 2 days
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3.121 Fake
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As I spoke with Dad, I noticed my guests dipping into the kitchen and getting our leftovers out of the fridge, so I excused myself to go make a proper meal, noting I should prepare food before our next party. Finding a dish that satisfied Sophia's lactose intolerance and Dad's vegetarianism proved challenging, so I went to the internet to help me. I found an interesting vegetable stew called Three Sisters that fit the bill, so I made that on the grill, hoping to entice everyone to come outside. I thought about Dub as I chopped veggies and added them into the pot. How was everything going with him and Maia? He should be here with the rest of my friends, but I chose not to invite him and felt very guilty about it. I didn't feel right about leaving him out of our struggles and then pop up out of nowhere with a party invite. Maia should have been about ready to pop by then, so they probably couldn't come anyway. She may have already given birth, and they're dealing with a demanding newborn right now. I could say that was my assumption if he got upset, but I needed to tell him the truth. He trusted me with something, so I needed to do the same.
My stew was looking pretty good and smelled even more amazing. Sauteed onions, peppers, and garlic were one of my favorite smells, but adding the sweetness of butternut squash was enough to make my mouth water. Maira found me as I sprinkled a little cilantro on top.
"Hey! Can you try this and make sure it tastes okay?" I asked.
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"Sure. What is it?"
"It's a vegetarian stew."
She raised the spoon to her nose and sniffed.
"Hmmm...that smells wonderful."
Finally she puts it in her mouth, and her soft moans give me the answer I needed. Maira wasn't exactly Ms. Sunshine, but she didn't seem to be herself. Something about her eyes tipped me off, and I felt as though she were putting on for our benefit.
"So, how've you been?" I asked.
Her eyes widened as if I had alarmed her, but after a moment she relaxed in resignation.
"Uhhhhh... Not great, honestly."
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My initial reaction was to be upset about her not telling me what went on in her life, but then I thought about how I had just beat myself up over doing the same thing to Dub. Maybe the natural response to trauma was to retreat instead of reach out.
"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," I said.
She snorted.
"Don't apologize for living a great life, Luca," she said, flatly.
But that was the thing. It hadn't been great, but how would she know that? Sophia and I had become masters of fake smiles and carrying on.
"So...what's going on?" I asked.
"Well...to start, my brother died and-"
"There you are," Chi Chi shouted, interrupting Maira and I. "I was wondering where you've been hiding. Your house is amazing! I always wanted to know what the inside of this one looked like. Did you renovate or is this how it looked? ..."
She went on and on and on, hammering me with questions about the house without even taking a breath. Sophia brought the portable speaker outside, placed it on the table, turned it on, and began to dance. It was one of those wedding gifts we never thought we'd use, but actually came in handy. One by one, everyone else joined us outside, and before I knew it, my moment with Maira was gone. I wanted to hold her and express my condolences, but she wiped her tears and put on a smiling face, moving on as if nothing happened. How did she do that? Death was such a big event. Maybe later I'd be able to revisit the subject. Until then, I too plastered on a smile and regaled Chi Chi.
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Eventually the music drew Chi Chi away from me, and I was relieved. I'm surprised my stew was still warm and ate while everyone shook their groove things. Alessia and Sophia seemed to giggle about something, and I was so happy to see them getting along, especially since Less had been scowling and complaining all afternoon. I still felt some kind of way about knowing my friend was suffering while we were all celebrating, but seeing everyone enjoy themselves in our new home made me happy.
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When Sophia had her fill of dancing, or maybe she couldn't hold her secret any longer, she called everyone inside for cake, and I lit the candles for her. She stood in front of it, looking at everyone and smiling; she was so beautiful.
"I appreciate you all being here," she said. "You're our village. If you haven't guessed by now, we're gonna welcome a little one into this village."
Gasps, cheers, and applause erupted around the table, and my heart was so full. I glanced at Mama to see how she reacted because I had previously told her she would be the first to know when we found out, but clearly I did not hold up my end of the bargain, especially when I had a prime opportunity to tell her in the kitchen. I thought maybe she'd want to strangle me, but instead, her eyes were full of tears of joy, and I was relieved. She had two grandchildren loading and was probably in shock.
Sophia continued.
"It means a lot to me personally to have so many friends and loved ones who love and support us, especially on this new road we're going down, so thank you all!"
Everyone applauded again. As she made a wish, we all made a great ruckus as we celebrated her transition into adulthood.
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"Sweet llamas that's a beautiful sim," Chi Chi said. "You are one blessed man, Luca."
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oflgtfol · 3 days
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MarvelDC anon x5 sorry im back again I just wanted to say I agree 100% with everything you say and don’t rly have anything to add there that isnt just recycling your points. It’s genuinely fucking crazy how the entire point of the superhero in 90% of cases is that they are vigilantes who operate outside of the legal system and yet so many of them are given plot lines about how the cops or the military are Awesome. Or like will show them buddy buddy with cops or the government. LIKE STOP ITTTT. STOP ITTTTT. And most of the time too it’s for characters where them being hyper connected with the government etc makes their overall story Worse. Ill use flash as an example bc You Know that guy but I LOVE flash I love him as a disabled character struggling w addiction issues for personal reasons BUT HIM LOSING HIS LEGS LIKE SHOOTING PEOPLE IN THE SWANA REGION AND THEN BECOMING A GOVERNMENT GUY IS SO FUCKING ASSSSSSS IT MAKES HIM WORSE AS A CHARACTER AND A PERSON IN A WAY THAT ISNT INTERESTING BECAUSE THEY NEVER SAY ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT IT!!!!! Like why the fuck did Flash even become disabled in regard to Going To Commit Imperialism For The U. S. A like NYC gets destroyed on the daily!!!! Have him lose his legs by a building falling on top of him!!!! Im spitballing ideas here but why wasn’t Venom Flash uhhhhhh Him Losing his legs in an event like that, in conjunction with him saving someone else, since this is the era of Symby and Eddie's breakup Symby is slithering along + sees this and helps him out, bc you know they can make their own choices and do what they want and maybe they wanna be a hero too even for a moment, then like maybe a few months later or whatever They Meet again and Symby is like hey….. I felt something when we bonded for that brief time. Im going through something rough too right now (The Divorce) so why don’t we try something new together. AND NOW BOOM. you can have Flash as Venom. Now without the stupid venom as addiction metaphor too! Like if you really fucking want you can include stuff about the government trying to manipulate them or whatever but as a whole this would have been so much better of an angle to start venom flash with but NO that we DIDNT GET Because Of The Military Complex meaning We Cant Ever Have Good Things
i know this is so controversial among the venom fans but like i'm really not that attached to flash lmfao i know nothing about him he's just some guy to me i just know he's so much better than mac gargan cuz by god that was a dark time for venom comics.
so now i'm the one nodding along with you and not adding anything lol. i trust you to come up with a better backstory for him because i literally don't know anything about him beyond the vaguest outline. i don't even know what war he fought in that he lost his legs to i dont know Anything. eddie some little absolute freak to me but flash is just some guy
Like if you really fucking want you can include stuff about the government trying to manipulate them or whatever but as a whole this would have been so much better of an angle to start venom flash with but NO that we DIDNT GET Because Of The Military Complex meaning We Cant Ever Have Good Things
i do have to say though that this is totally how i thought venom 2011 was going to go. the first like, four-ish issues got my hopes up so much. i really honestly thought it was going to be drawing parallels between symby and flash how they are ultimately just tools of the government, just weapons that can be discarded in pushing the military's agenda.
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this whole page drove me insane at the time and it still kinda does. the way flash is lying directly to his superior to stay with symby longer despite how much he's been drilled that being with the symbiote too long is a danger. they aren't friends yet this early but there's still this impulse to stick with it. and it's because they're parallels!!! the symbiote is quite literally being treated as a mindless tool by the government - it's deprived of all rights that a sentient, sapient being requires. it's trapped and it's being forced into serving and fighting on behalf of a government that doesn't even care for it. likewise, flash is being given the illusion of choice, and to some extent he still does have a choice, but he's being so manipulated by the government here that really he is also just a mindless tool for them - or at least, they want him to be mindless about it. the final fucking panel at the bottom of the final page is crazy.
it was such a strong start to a run that i was very apprehensive about due to aforementioned lack of knowledge of flash as a character, and my general fed-up-ness with the way the comics had been handling venom and eddie in general during that irl time period. so i was so so hoping that it would be taking a blatant and staunch anti-military stance, or even at the bare minimum if it was even still done in a liberal way, as long as there was still SOME criticism of the military complex i would be jumping for joy. and the idea of flash and symby then also bonding during all that?!! crazy. but then it just kinda. goes off the fucking rails halfway through that run/??? like demons and hell and satan kinda off the rails. absolute bonkers. i need to reread venom 2011 actually i barely remember it it was like a fever dream to me. could have been because i descended into madness shortly after i read it but i digress
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ghostickle · 28 days
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#I wish I could go back in time never had met either of them#never trusted them never given them everything#I moved in with him because he begged me too I wanted to live alone#and now I’m getting fucked over#I do everything I can for people I pour everything I can into people#give them all my time and energy do anything I can to make them happy hurting myself in the process#and when they can’t get anything more out of me when they got bored of me I get treated like this#and left to rot#with nothing#and it keeps happening#I find a person who I think will genuinely care about me and love me the way I do for them#who truly wants me around#and I trust them#and they take that trust to use me and everything just keeps repeating#why can’t I just be loved#they only love me when they’re able to use me and make me into what they want#ghost rambles#they don’t even hide that they’re only using me by the end of it.#I’m there for every thing they struggle with whenever they feel alone#I get them presents I make them food and treats I get into whatever their interests are so they can show stuff off to me#but no one’s done it for me#they don’t even look when I try to show my art#they don’t care about my music#they were never there when I was struggling#shit there’s been times he found me crying with fresh cuts blade still out and just wants to talk about how everyone hates him#just wants me to drop everything to comfort him#ignores that id been crying couldn’t care less that I relapsed#it’s always about them
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worstloki · 11 months
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My issue with Thor not ‘realizing’ why Loki was acting off in Avengers 1 isn’t that Thor didn’t recognise Loki was acting unlike himself—Thor did note that—or that Thor didn’t figure out what was wrong—he did try asking—it’s more along the lines of Thor giving up, and that he accepted Loki was bad now within two days while knowing something was off when Thor himself behaved just as bad for much longer before without any specific compromising event.
#Thor was happy go kill for so long and Loki waited for Thor to get better and then Thor KNOWS something is up#and he still accepts Loki is evil now and never questions or visits Loki in prison again#he moped around about it because of duty and depression but that he had such little faith in Loki#like either his little brother really did go mad out of jealousy and rage AND is permanently like that with no resolution between them#it’s ridiculous#I like the Thor in my head who never believed Loki had actually gone mad and went after the infinity stones bc he suspected#the one that would not only trust Loki to get them off Asgard in TDW but knew Loki had the throne after and let it be that way#bc he knows his brother and wouldn’t stop believing Loki can ‘get better’ even if he’d truly gone mad#like I get that Thor in Avengers 1 would have been conflicted and could’ve taken everything at face value#Loki was DEAD and now he’s not of course Thor isn’t going to be thinking straight#it’s easy to look at Loki and assume he spent a year plotting revenge after faking his death#but Thor had time after to cool down and only gave Loki a chance in TDW when there was no other option#like did he genuinely think Loki will try to kill him#is Thor scared of Loki now or what#Thor’s spending so much time thinking of what he’s lost that he develops depression but doesn’t ever voice or support the idea that maybe#Loki was forced to do the invasion#AFTER he asks ‘who controls the would-be king’ like come on Thor just ask a follow-up question#Thor autistic king distracted by ‘YOUR father’ discourse fr#T-T#I simply don’t think Thor would have given up on Loki even if Loki stabbed him sorry#it wouldn’t even be bc he’s naive it’d be because he knows and loves his brother#and he’d keep hoping for a change of heart#he wouldn’t ditch the issue unless it was to go under the radar and that’s never explicitly implied#unfortunately#:(
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emmaspolaroid · 5 months
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i’ve got headaches and bad luck, but they couldn’t touch you, no
rayvio sketchdump. i will drag you all down with me 💜🖤
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yuribalisms · 2 years
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promise this is my last time bitching about all of this ignore it but
#really truly and genuinely just don't want to exist right now every time i think this situation cannot get worse it somehow manages to#i just cried at the dmv and the lady just glared at me like i was the scum of the earth like maam i don't even cry around people#i trust i don't *want* to be crying right now i'm *sorry* okay i just don't know what to do i got given the wrong forms and papers and i#tried explaining all of that and she just looked at me like i was an *idiot* and wouldn't help me with *anything* it was so humiliating#i can't drive the temporary car until it has plates because if i get pulled over for that it's a $500 fine and if i get hit with that on top#of everything else i literally don't know what i'll do i'll probably end up losing my license#but if i can't drive the car i can't go to work and i also can't afford to not go to work right now#i literally feel sick all the time i can't sleep the last few times i've tried to eat anything i feel like throwing it up#and i just feel... so hopeless right now everything i'm trying isn't working or i think i'm getting somewhere and i hit another wall#and one of the most upsetting parts is i feel like no one is helping me and no one cares how hard i'm struggling right now#i literally just want to be allowed to be upset over this but when i got visibly upset at home everyone accused me of taking my frustrations#out on them and being self pitying and 'it could always be worse'#like i don't even know at this point but if i hear the words 'could always be worse' one more time i'm going to maul the person who says the#no one wants me to be upset that's too much to deal with i am *never* allowed to be upset i just want to vent about how shitty this is and#scream and cry at the unfairness of it for a little bit but literally *no one* is letting me do that#'it could always be worse so stop complaining' or if i am visibly upset at all all that matters is it's inconveniencing or upsetting to the#other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that#i just want it to be OVER i want it to end i'm so sick of this every time i feel like i'm scraping to somewhere managable in life#something like this happens and this is the scariest and most upsetting thing yet#and i'm not even allowed to be frustrated or upset or sad or angry because then someone else is upset and that matters more than me#so it all built up and a cried at the dmv and every one stared at me like i was annoying and stupid and i want to KILL MYSELF#i want to melt into the ground i want to stop existing i don't want a single person to talk to me because i hate everything right now#but i also desperately want to actually say all of this to a person and them not get mad at me for and tell me it IS unfair it DOES suck and#i didn't deserve this shitty thing that happened or all the other shitty things that happened beforehand#i would also appreciate just pretending it wasn't a thing for a few hours and doing something enjoyable to me with a friend or two...#but that also feels far fetched and then i would feel guilty for not trying to fix this 24/7 even though at this point there's literally#nothing else i could do#i'm just.... so tired and so SO upset and i feel like nobody cares that i'm upset and i'm so sick of EVERYTHING#i'm tired of living
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artekai · 2 years
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Well. Now I need an excuse to put Sylens and Fross alone together and give them a common goal :/
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neon-angels-system · 1 month
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I'm having a Moment, huh?
#curled up under my weighted blanket. homesick#rediscovering a realisation that never really left#I don't think those two know just how deeply I trust them#like... berry is definitely as deeply loyal. if not more so.#while I think bee has never really understood how much they mean to me#but. I just. they mean so much to me. I'm not an unconditional love type of person but they challenge that#god. I'm going to get my fucking degree and go back home and never leave them again.#I don't tend to talk about them much on here but they've been with me through literally everthing#unfortunately it was kind of a given I'd go to uni. I'm not cut out for trades or for customer service or whatever#so I had to leave. I went further away than I had to though#at the time I guess I thought I'd make connections that were just as strong down here#and that's almost true for my flatmates#but I think everything has really solidified that all I want out of life is to be near my family and berry and bee#berry's probably not going to be able to work anytime soon. and bee will take a long time to get their degree#but if I could. I would live with them. split the rent three ways.#(or more if berry and bee's partners lived with us as well)#just. fuck. I miss them.#my flatmates are amazing but they can't replace my best friends of over 8 years#I keep thinking of the song Sudafed. it's one of Kuma's songs but I like it too#because it makes me think of berry and bee#'I loved a boy enough I tried to waste away for him / and I'd kill him if ever you said'#just. yeah. I would. it's not even a question
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keeps-ache · 3 months
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unfortunately i enjoy these sad little tunes on the piano and my mother will simply have to Deal
#just me hi#sorry but d minor speaks to me spiritually [sunglasses drop and i start slamming on the keys]#hbfhs but i do feel a little bad about it. so ye sorry mother dearest but the sad little tunes were created specifically for my ears u-u#i must learn. more songs#i've been playing the stuff at the end of this self-teach book but that's only like 5 songs so what am i to do lol#my dad handed me. schubert#my dude i just. i don't. you believe in me too much Lmao#//crazy tho did you know that there are apparently people in this world that really truly believe i have a functioning brain??#that's crazy man. cough#lol they're prolly not wrong but man.. i should Not have been given this thing hvfhs#feels like it operates at 2% efficiency at All Times except for 2-4 a.m. where my brain chemicals then swap places like the worst#game of musical chairs on the planet Hbfhv#//oh speaking of brains if you had to switch brains with somebody who would you trust to trade with?#i was thinking one of my siblings but dear lord. i would never want to do that to them Hfbvshfvsh#'why one of your siblings' they forgive me for a Lot of weird stuff hfsh <33#plus. there could be worse ways of coming out Hfbhsvfhs + they'd have my perspective on it at that point so ! :>#or i think i'd leave it at an orphanage like they do in the movies. in a cardboard box n everything :)#technically not a switch but you know somebody's gotta use it for something loll#//anyway i gotta work on this thing#siiiighhghghgh why is the beginning so hard lol :')#i am ON my way !!! [runs towards you and vanishes]
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killjoygem · 9 months
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I have the dentists tomorrow and I'm just dreading it, I never used to be afraid of the dentists but I just hate it now
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flokali · 10 months
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♢ I love you, I own you | Tartaglia
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warnings: yandere, dub-con, penetration, coming inside, unprotected, undertones of misogyny, toxic parents, manipulation and gaslighting, obsessive, paranoid, and possessive behavior, toxic mindset, coerced submission, getting walked into, bribing, murder, torture, self-doubt and insecurities (mc), arranged marriage, implied financial insecurity, implied virginity (mc & childe), spoilers for tartaglia’s story/lore, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unreliable narration (at times). ask to tag.
pairing: afab! fem! reader (bottom) x childe (top)
word count: 13.3k
a/n: ahhh; hopefully this is good >_< i love him so much… after almost a year, ‘tis done ^_^
part two: here
— 18+
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Childe is horrified and incredibly angered, if not down right homicidal, when he finds out your parents planned to have you engaged to a no-name Fatui henchman, it’s only a further blow to his already weakened heart when the news don’t come from you nor your family but from the loud mouths of your “soon to be fiancé” and his goons. His blue eyes widen and he feels himself grow lightheaded, his stomach feels like it’s turning itself inside out and, oh Celestia, he thinks he’s going to puke.
While perhaps not the most befitting behavior for a Harbinger, Ajax couldn’t help but eavesdrop when he had first heard the mention of your name and while he’s extremely glad he did, - he’s silently thanking the Tsaritsa for telling him now so he could do something - he almost wishes he didn’t as he’s now forced to go back to his office and wordlessly deal with the intrusive thoughts racing through his head.
All he can think about are the countless pinky promises you’d both made to each other during your childhood, the coos of both of your parents when they had first heard him declare his love for you, the feeling of your hands against his when you kissed his cheek goodbye before the fateful day he stumbled down the abyss, the way you and only you were the sole thing keeping him together during his time there, the way you sobbed in relief when he first approached you after emerging victorious from hell itself; did those moments mean nothing? Had only he been impacted by them? Had you forgotten his love for you - your love for him?
No, he thought as he marched to his desk, there’s no way - you had to have felt it too, you must have kept those memories deep in your heart as did he. You both were meant to be, childhood sweethearts, one soul in two different bodies, created from the same stars and carved out from the same earth, put into the same world to meet and love each other from your first life to the last. You were his and he was yours, you were one and the same, you were lovers - it was written in the stars and in his very flesh, it was a fact as true as his love for you.
His breathing is ragged and he can’t contain his shaking body, he never should have trusted your parents - they obviously didn’t have your best interest in mind, if they cared about you at all they would have never promised your hand to another, they would’ve realized he, Childe, Tartaglia, Ajax, he was the best man for you.
Granted, they hadn’t heard from good little Ajax for years, not ever since he’d left for the Fatui - he only ever kept consistent correspondence with you and his family - but that’s no excuse, there was no excuse for their actions, they were disgusting pests that were blinded by greed. How much money had they taken to accept such a disgusting agreement? 500,000 Mora? No, that was too cheap… 1,000,000? 2,000,000? More? Maybe it was in the tens of millions, there was no way you were being given away for less, right?
“Ahhh,” the ginger sank in his chair, his trembling hands finding his hair and pulling at the soft strands in frustration, “what do I do now? What should I do? What should I do? Shit… this can’t be happening.”
He wanted to cry and destroy everything. Destroy that man, no… that poor, pathetic excuse of a man that had dared try and stake his claim on you. This wasn’t your fault, there was no way you knew – never once in your letters had you mentioned a lover nor a wedding, you would have told him - would have begged for him to save you - if you did know you must have cried and begged for them to not marry you to that bastard, sobbed as you muttered his - Ajax’s - name like a mantra, begging to be taken by him and finally wed to the true love of your life.
It felt like the world was falling and crushing him alive.
How could they do this to you? How dare they do this to you? To him, to you, to the both of you.
He could just have the man killed, sent on a suicide mission disguised as an essential step for gnosis hunting - maybe even under the pretense of a promotion, he was sure he’d accept anything, he was a no name soldier that would probably be forgotten by the next round of recruitment -, and make your parents go bankrupt, burn their house and have their businesses fail before delivering the final blow of jailing them due to fraud or maybe even executed under claims of treason; the thoughts calmed his rapid heart, if only slightly.
They needed to be taught a lesson, they shouldn’t put their dirty, greedy hands where they didn’t belong.
But no, that’d be too light of a punishment, and there would be so many loose threads - he’d rather be on good terms with your family - if only for you -, could it maybe be a misunderstanding? It could be, right? They were like family to him once, after all, and a part of him hates the idea of them having grown so vile and corrupted, they were supposed to be his in-laws and he’d rather his children have both sets of grandparents. Not to mention, you’d be so sad to see them gone, even if there was a chance they were worth nothing more than dirt.
No, that wouldn’t do, his wife couldn’t be sad - he’d confront them as soon as physically possible, question their actions and propose a better arrangement, and depending on their answer they would become the Fatui’s latest show of loyalty to the Tsaritsa or officially join the perfect future he’d dreamed of with you.
Yes, that’s what he’d do, his shaking heart finally comes to a rest as he begins to plan his trip. If things went south he could easily have his initial plan executed quickly, and while he doesn’t particularly like the idea of having to plan their execution arrangements, justice wasn’t always pleasant.
It’d be alright, surely all of this could be resolved through a mature, adult conversation. And if not, then Childe wasn’t a Harbinger for naught.
It takes him a few days until he’s able to find the time to meet up with your parents, though, honestly, it’s more like barging into your home unannounced and demanding answers. He has a job - a serious job, after all, one that demands his presence and takes true effort and work, unlike that shitty excuse of meat your parents wanted you to marry - and he had matters to attend to – after all forging evidence for a possible execution isn’t easy and he wants to be prepared, it was one of the few times where he wanted to come in with a proper battle plan.
He had it all planned out if things went south, a few reports here, some testimonies there, a lengthy transcript or two, a handful of bank reports, and soon your parents would look like traitors to the crown and be sentenced to public execution.
All he had to do was confront them in person. He wasn’t sure if your parents would be home, he hoped so as to not prolong such a troublesome process any longer, but he was willing to wait. He was getting his answers today, one way or another; he’d free you from this horrid arrangement and whisk you away to give you the life you truly deserved.
Luckily for him, you live in the same neighborhood as you always had, so no time had to be wasted searching for your family’s whereabouts. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance to come back to his childhood neighborhood and he can’t help the giddiness in his heart as he strolls through memory lane while making his way down the streets you two shared a childhood in, it looked almost the same - a few differences here and there like a new house or someone’s place having been renovated, but it felt just like home. His parents had long since moved houses into a fancier side of the city, the money Childe managed to bring home as a Harbinger long since allowing them the luxuries that had once felt impossible, but he almost wishes they hadn’t as he spots your family’s humble abode, his heart longing back to the days of your shared youth.
It’s a two story house, built with strong wood made to resist Snezhnaya’s harshest winters and the cold summers, the roof was made of strong wood and designed so that snow would fall as to not sink, the front yard still held the swing you’d begged your parents for on your tenth birthday, the mailbox was still slightly crooked from the time he had head-butted it when racing you back from the park, the flowerbed still held the same flowers and plants that were able to withstand Snezhnaya’s harsh weather, the tree somehow still seemed to harbor the countless balls you two had gotten stuck there back when you were in your preteens; it was like it had been frozen in time, the only true difference he could spot was your older figure sitting on the front steps looking as if you were waiting for something, maybe someone; maybe him.
His heart stops as do his steps, he’d been so busy the last couple of years he hadn’t been able to pay you a visit in person, he’d had a few soldiers patrol the area before, but nothing could prepare Ajax for the surge of emotions that coursed through his body as he laid eyes on you.
Your body was taller and you had grown into your features, but you were still you - your eyes still shined with the hope and love he’d long since lost while your lips were still as tempting as he remembered. There was no doubt it was you, he’d recognize you anywhere; no matter how much you changed. But you looked sad, your lips downcast, your eyes filled with tears, and your frame hunched over, it was clear you were cold by the shaking of your frame but you didn’t falter - still sitting down with a flimsy blanket wrapped around you as you waited.
The scene made him pick up his pace, he was desperate to reach your side; what had happened? Why did you look so sad? Were you hurt? His men had not informed him of anything happening that would explain the crystal like tears that pooled in your eyes, just the sight was enough to have his blood boiling and fists shaking as he wondered who was responsible for the pain you so openly displayed.
Have you found out about Andrei and your parents’ sins? The thought of them being the reason for your sorrow made him grow dizzy with rage, but the negative feelings can only last so long as he has you in his sights. Your mere presence seemed to lull his emotional heart into a more tranquil state.
“[Y/N]?” Childe asked, he was only a few feet away from you but he didn’t dare walk closer, “Is that you?”
“A-Ajax?” Your eyes widened, hope evident in your voice and it’s like all traces of the previous pain in your face had vanished, “Oh, Ajax!”
You hesitate for a second before breaking into a smile when you realize it really was him. It almost looks like you want to burst into tears and he’s sure he probably doesn’t look any better, seeing you in the flesh after so long felt like a dream and as if every moment without you until now had been but a nightmare, he can’t help himself from running towards you and throwing himself into your arms. He looks older, definitely more mature, his is build stronger now - probably due to the fighting and training he endured as a Harbinger, you thought - but his smile was still the same, perhaps a bit empty but it still filled your heart with a warmth that could battle Snezhnaya’s unforgiving cold. It felt right to have him back in your arms as if time had never been cruel and taken him away from you, you could have sweared your worries disappeared the moment you took in his warmth.
His white coat floats through the air as he lands between your arms, and you can feel his smile in your chest as he hugs you tight.
He was finally home, he thought, in your arms and back in the neighborhood that had raised him - he was with you and that was all that mattered, the man was filled with so much ecstasy he could almost forget why he’d come here.
“What are you doing here?” You ask him, your voice is shaky and the ginger feels himself melt at the familiar tone of your voice.
“I should be asking you that,” he laughs, his eyebrows becoming furrowed in concern as he speaks, “it’s freezing, darling, you shouldn’t be outside.”
“I… I was waiting for one of your letters,” you whisper shyly, during your time away from each other - weekly letters had been your primary source of communication, something you’d learn to love and cherish as one of the few forms of contact you and Childe could have without your parents knowing his dangerous job and position.
“You’re so cute,” he coos, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders as he realizes you were safe, if anything he feels ashamed he hadn’t been able to send you anything and caused you such pain, his heart aches as he tries to wrap around his head he may have hurt your feelings, his gloved fingers find your cheek and squeezes it tightly, “however, it’s too cold for you to be outside with just a blanket, my love.”
“I know,” you shake your head, you go to lift a hand to wipe the stray tears that had escaped you but Childe takes care of it for you as he delicately caressed your face, “it’s just, I hadn’t heard from you in almost two weeks and I got worried, I thought… maybe something had happened in Liyue and you’d gotten hurt.”
“O-oh… I’m sorry,” his deep blue eyes look downcast as he processes your words, “I never meant to worry you, I had so much to do and to say that instead of a letter I decided to come meet you in person, i-isn’t that better, love? I simply couldn’t be away from you any longer, it’s my fault, though, I should have told you so earlier, ahh… I can’t believe I’ve made my angel cry.”
A poor soldier would have their head cut off tonight, he thought, for he was certain he’d sent a bag full of letters meant to last you at least a full season to be delivered everyday to you while he arranged for this mess to be solved.
You nod as stars fill your eyes before shaking your head as if assuring him you were alright. You loved Ajax and you had loved him for almost all your life, from the moment you met him you’d been charmed by his boyish good looks and charisma, of course a few things had changed, but he was still your sweet Ajax, the boy who’d stolen your heart and kept it safely within his arms for as long as you’ve known him.
“Come on,” you signal him to stand up with a soft pat and the man has to stop himself from begging for more of your touch, “let’s go inside, you must be tired and we have so much to talk about.” He nods and lets himself be pulled up by you as you giggle and smile about finally being able to talk face to face after years of not being able to physically see each other.
You feel like a teenager again as you lead Ajax into your house, your heart beating like you were confessing your love for the first time - the excitement was practically the same, your head felt fuzzy from the warm feeling holding Childe’s hand gave you; you had missed him terribly. You feel like you were about to explode into a million piece from excitement, your head filled with everything you’ve ever wanted to say to Ajax’s face ever since he left, all the news that felt too important to simply write out and that had you hoping a day like this would finally come, you’re scared of coming off too intensely but your heart truly feels like it’ll burst from joy, unfortunately your excitement comes to an abrupt end when you finally drag him into your living room. You turn around to offer him a drink or something to eat, the trip from the capital all the way over here was a couple hours long and he’d always had quite an appetite, but you’re faced with a look of disappointment and slight anger as he looks around the room, your heart sinks - just seconds ago he was all smiles and laughter as you two embraced each other in the harsh winter, having created a warm paradise between each other, but now he looked as if he couldn’t stand to be in your house and you wonder if maybe you’d angered him somehow even though you logically knew you’d done nothing other than invite him inside.
Maybe you were overreacting, you think, you’d been quite paranoid as of recently, your family had been distant and you’d been feeling lonely and anxious for a while. It’d been an embarrassingly long time since you’d had guests over, at least, guests that mattered to you and hadn’t been your parents’ friends or siblings spouses. The look in Ajax’s face makes your stomach churn; had something happened?
“Are your parents home?” He asks, his voice tinged in a mixture of distaste and sadness, it’s lower than when he’d spoken to you earlier and you wonder what could have happened to create such a drastic change in his behavior. If you took the time to notice you’d see how his eyes glare at the family portrait; the two traitors clear as day as they embraced their children, Childe couldn’t help but see them in a new, more negative and hateful light.
Not after two weeks of research, not when he was now certain they wanted to get in his way.
“No, they said they weren’t coming home until later tonight, but if you want to stay till then I’m sure they'd love to see you again,” you try to reassure him thinking he was perhaps saddened at not being able to see your parents, it’d make sense since, unlike you two, they hadn’t been able to keep in touch since the young man’s career in the Fatui began.
“I… I don’t think I want to meet them, no,” Ajax shakes his head, his hair bouncing as he makes his way to your sofa, his legs tremble slightly – cowards, he thinks, not even able to show their faces, “I actually came here to talk to them but, ha… now that I’m here I’m not too sure.”
“Hmm, how so?” You ask, your heart - which was already quite nervous at his sudden change of mood - sinks further, a sudden uneasiness fills your lungs.
He’d come here in hopes of finding you parents and confronting them with his findings, he would have offered them a chance to redeem themselves and cancel the wedding without you even finding out about the secret dealings they’d been making in your name, but they were not here, you were. Maybe, he could change his battle plan, if he couldn’t talk to your parents… why not simply talk to you? If he’d offered a higher sum and never asked you himself, he’d be no better than that lowlife and your parents, not that you’d reject him - but the thought of steeping as low as they did made him sick.
“What are your thoughts about marriage?” The question is so sudden and unrelated to the previous topic you instinctively frown.
“Marriage,” you sit down opposite of him, it feels like you’re in a job interview as he questions you, “I mean, I’ve thought about it but I’m not sure I want to get married, at least not now, I’m not too sure I’d want to give it all up; I mean, I have a job and friends, there’s so much to do, so much I want to do… and I can’t say I’d be able to do it all if I was married. I’d like to travel and, I… I don’t know, learn more I guess, I feel like if I settle down it'll be once I’m more, you know, confident or mature?”
You trail off awkwardly, it was true - the only times you’d ever seriously thought about marriage often included you being significantly older and, most of the time, with an already retired Ajax — though you wouldn’t admit that to his face unless you were certain he felt the same. You’d rather keep that last part hidden, if not for fear of making him uncomfortable, for the sake of your heart and fear of being brushed aside. Your parents had made it quite clear; you were no marriage-material, you’d be lucky if you even manage to get a partner at this rate, and you doubted a man as accomplished as Tartaglia, Ajax, the 11th Harbinger, would settle for a average, clumsy, pessimistic small town girl such as yourself.
He stays quiet as if a million thoughts were racing around his head; that wasn’t the answer he particularly wanted, he’d rather hear you’d been fantasizing of marrying him, hear you ramble on and on about how you’d been waiting for him and were just about ready to go down the aisle with him and promise yourself to one another but he was glad you weren’t against the idea of marriage, even if he wished you’d been more open about doing it sooner rather than later; but that would change, he was sure of it.
“And, uh, what about you?” You ask, the air felt heavy and you desperately wanted to ease the tension, only one thought was really running through your head that you were too afraid to ask; “What was going on with Ajax?”
“Me?” The question snaps him out of whatever mental trance he’d caught himself in, “Well, I want to get married, the sooner the better, I want to have a family, but it’s gotta be with the person I love the most in this world, I couldn’t bring myself to imagine living without them.”
Neither the words themselves nor the sentiment are crazy, even if you’d only just gotten to know him, it was obvious Ajax wanted a loving family to call his own and it was a pretty common desire for many, it more so was the way his eyes seemed to bore into your own as he spoke, as if he were trying to let you know it was you who he was talking about. You flustered at the thought, it was perhaps selfish to think it was you he was talking about but the thought pleased you nonetheless even if your parents’ words echoed in your mind.
“That’s, ah,” you mumble, breaking eye contact and looking elsewhere, trying to calm your beating heart, you should stop being so silly - he was here to talk with your parents, not you, both of you meeting was mere coincidence, nothing else, “really nice, I hope you find them soon..”
“You do?” He smiles, seemingly pleased with your words, but it’s significantly weaker than usual.
There’s an awkward silence as you wonder if maybe, just maybe, he’d come here to propose. You know it sounds crazy and incredibly sudden but the mention of marriage and wanting to talk to your folk, the fact he’d made the time in his incredibly busy schedule and travels to come over to your house, it made it sound like he had ulterior motives for coming here and just the thought of them had you flustered. You may have just said you wanted to hold off on marriage, that you doubted someone like him would even think of being your partner, but you felt certain that if Ajax asked for your hand you would agree with no hesitation – out of a pitiful mix of love and desperation.
You’re unsure of what to do and are about to speak up, willing to say almost anything to move the conversation forward and away from the topic, but he beats you to it and breaks the silence first.
“Listen, dove… I-I love your parents and I wouldn’t accuse them of something like this if I didn’t have evidence, okay?” He lies through his teeth, after finding out the way they were so willing to get in between you two he could barely stand the thought of them now, but he’s lucky the rest of the words come easy, “I really didn’t want to believe this either, but I have many a reason to suspect they may be trying marrying you off soon to a stranger.”
“W-What?” You breathe out, you struggle to process his words, it’s as if they’d bounced off your brain and floated off elsewhere, “M-marrying me off? What’s - what do you mean?”
No, no, no way.
You feel yourself grow tense and light headed.
What sort of messed up prank was this? There was no way… right?
“It seems they found a member of the Fatui,” he shakes his head, “a guy named Andrei Galkin, and they’re planning to marry you off to him, so I decided to ask around - it seems like it’s been a topic for a while now, money may be involved too, the reason I came here was to… have a talk with your parents, see if I could change their mind.”
“D-do you even have proof?” You ask with a shivering voice, heat rushes to your cheeks as you begin to feel hot in embarrassment and anger; your parents were meaning to sell you off to some man? This had to be a joke Childe was playing, you’d known he’d become a bit off after the Abyss incident and you knew his time as a Harbinger probably messed him up, but this wasn’t funny. It was disgusting, the mere prospect has you trembling as you try and grasp what on earth was happening. However, the more you look at him, you wonder if this is a joke at all. You studied him and his expression, desperately trying to see anything on his face that’d indicate this was a sick prank from his part, a cheeky smile or maybe lack of eye contact - anything would do, you felt yourself begin to hyperventilate as you realized how absurd it’d be for him to come all the way to a village hours away from the main city to play such a horrible joke on you, one he must have known would cause you pain and anguish — you doubted he’d want to see you like this, at least you hoped he wouldn’t want to see you like this.
Oh, the realization makes you grow lightheaded, he was probably telling the truth.
“There’s correspondence between them and his family, there’s also a wedding venue booked under their names,” Ajax mumbled, his voice a mere whisper against the sound of your beating heart, he pulls a few files from his coat and hands them to you - your last name is printed on the cover and you quickly open them and browse through the pages, your heart sinks, “I also found money transactions between your family and the Galkin family, about… I’m sorry but I can’t —“
“How much, Ajax?” You feel stiff and your hands start shaking making it hard for you to continue flipping through the countless reports, photographs, records, bank transactions, and letters, your blood feels terribly cold as you try to calm down the whirlwind of feelings that coursed through your body, but you couldn’t bring yourself to calm down, not when your family, your parents of all people, have seemed to been able to calmly put a price on not only your love but your person as well.
“About 900,000 Mora,” he mutters, cold blue eyes avoiding your gaze as he continues, “to Uncle and Auntie from Andrei’s family.”
“900,000 Mora…” You feel your heart shatter as Childe brings a comforting hand towards your shoulders, his calloused fingers massaging your tense muscles, “You’re… you’re serious, aren’t you?”
“I’d never lie about such a thing,” he approaches you slowly, Ajax continues speaking as he envelops you with a hug soon after removing the papers from your trembling hands,“this pains me as much as it pains you.”
All of this was true, it’d taken him a long time to gather it all, but the reality was simple and cruel;
your parents had begun arranging for your marriage to an older Fatui soldier for after his retirement.
“Why… why would they do this?” You mutter, feeling sorrow slowly fill your lungs up - making it harder to breathe comfortably, “H-how could they? How could they? Why… Ajax, w-why?”
You felt like an idiot, just minutes ago you’d naively thought you may be getting proposed to by your childhood lover, a childish and hopelessly romantic thought, but now you’re sitting in your living room, on the verge of a breakdown as you tried to think of why on earth your parents would be willing to accept such an offer on your behalf, why they’d use you - their daughter - for Mora.
“Shhh, it’s okay, let it out,” he brings your head into his shoulder, caressing your back in a soothing manner, “it must feel horrible, I’m sure.”
And so you sit there, sobbing into your old friend as you try and process the information presented in front of you. It takes you a good couple of minutes to calm down, by then you two have once again sat down on the couch.
“What am I going to do?” You bury your face into your hands, your body shook as you thought about having to confront your parents once they arrived now with the knowledge you had.
It takes Ajax a couple of seconds before he speaks up, he needed to make it seem like he hadn’t been thinking of this from the moment he’d gotten his hands on the evidence himself; “I have an idea but...”
Your head shoots up in record speed, you could practically feel your neck crack from the sudden move but you didn’t care, you were desperate for a solution - no matter how good or bad it may be; “Oh come on, just spit it out, nothing could be worse than this.”
“Marry me.”
Your eyes widen and your breath hitches; “M-Marry you?”
He nods, sapphire eyes staring you down like a hunter would prey - you didn’t like the way he was looking at you.
“Why?”
“Why?” He echos, you can see him stifle a laugh, “Because it’s either that or marrying some lowlife named Andrei who paid to wed you.”
You feel your body stiffen at the harsh words, they were true but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to hear. You avoid looking him in the eyes, your hands anxiously twiddle each other.
“… and what if you’re wrong?”
“What?” He asks as if he couldn’t believe what you had just said.
“What if my parents aren’t marrying me off…”
“Darling,” Ajax laughs but his eyes didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, “are you doubting me? I gave you evidence, it’s right there.”
“Not necessarily,” you look away, you couldn’t help but wonder why you needed to explain yourself, “but, come on, I can’t accept this, it’s too sudden and mom and dad, t-they’d never do this to me, right? I’m their daughter, you know? They love me, they said they did and you don’t do this if you love someone, right?. So… so w-what if you’re wrong?”
“Wrong? There’s no other interpretation that makes sense of what we’ve both seen. Why would I lie to you about this? Come on, love, look at me, do I look like I’m enjoying this?” He questions you, “Look at me, come on, listen to me, if it were up to me,” he grabs your chin when you refuse to meet his gaze, his dark blue eyes stare deeply into your soul; they don’t shine the way the once used to, “I would have asked them for their blessing and proposed to you in the plaza, I would have had a ring ordered from Liyue costume made for you, I’d organize for their to be flowers of every color imaginable, even arrange food and music too, there would be hundreds onlookers who’d die to experience a fraction of the joy we would be feeling, I would have invited my family and yours, I’d have you wearing a custom dress, you’d be the happiest woman in Teyvat if I’d have my way… but look where we are instead, can’t you see? This isn’t what I wanted for us, this isn’t what I wanted for you, but we still have time, we can still fix it. But before that first, you have to believe me and get it through your head; this is who they are, this is what they’ve done, your parents don’t love you any more.”
“…” You can only look at him in shock as you feel tears swell in your eyes because it was not far fetched to say that the last few months your family had been distant, that they’d begun to act strange, and that you’d been short on cash for Tsaritsa knows how long, it hurt because a part of you felt like this was plausible. Because it was true, you were the youngest and that you didn’t exactly pull your weight the same way your siblings did, it was true you’d been more of a casualty in your family’s life but that didn’t mean they’d sell you off. No, they had treated you with love and kindness, they’d been there for every big step in your life, they loved you… right? They’d never do this to you, they would never accept Mora in exchange for your hand in marriage. They would never trade their love for you for some Money… right?
Maybe their love was ensuring you had a better future, one where your lover took care of you even if you didn’t exactly choose them, it was true your love life had been awfully stale, that the only person you’d ever been interested in who had also liked you back was in the army, and that you were never quite able to secure a full time job, it was always part-time and you were always booked the least compared to your coworkers. It was true you didn’t have many friends, most of the people your age had moved away by now, you were the only one of your siblings who wasn’t married or dating someone, out of all of your siblings you were the only one who seemed to remain the same no matter how many years passed. Maybe it was exactly what this was, a misunderstood, misplaced, and ill-fitting way of showing their love; but maybe you hated the thought this was their way of expressing it more than you were moved they’d tried at all.
“Shhh, my love,” you didn’t quite catch when Ajax had started wiping your tears away nor when he had managed to get so close, but at that moment – the moment where your whole life felt so uncertain and shaken – you were willing to ignore it all, “it’s okay, I know what you’re thinking… My offer still stands, you can still marry me.”
“And then what?” You sobbed, holding his gloved hands tightly against your cheek, “What am I going to do after that?”
“You’ll move in with me,” he responds matter of factly yet his tone is still soft, as if he feared speaking too loudly would scare you away, “and we’ll tell them together and you’ll make your bags and we’ll be on our way away from all of this mess. Please listen to me, sweetheart, as of right now, I’m the only choice for you – it won’t be bad at all, it’ll be lovely in fact, don’t you want that?”
“…”
“Please, please trust me, I only want what’s best for you,” he continues, ignoring your silence and instead continuing to caress your skin, “I’ve worked with Andrei, he’s no good, he’s older and cranky, he’s always in a bad mood, he won’t satisfy you, and I don’t want you to be miserable, I mean look at you, is this what you want? Hear me out and put trust in me, you won’t regret it; I’ll get you out of this, I promise.”
“But…”
“I love you and I know you love me,” he whispered, drawing closer to you, his voice low as he slowly leans into your lips, he stops right before they can touch his own, “and I’m sure you’ll grow to love this too.”
There’s a silence as you let your options cross your head, you feel yourself grow overwhelmed, being struck with grief and regret in such strong waves you have no choice but to simply give in to the only secure stone you currently see in the storm that was brewing in your mind.
He loved you, he said so himself, and he’d protect you, he’d promised. You could trust him, you had to trust him; you had no one else.
“I’ll… I’ll marry you.”
“That’s my girl.” He boasts, his face – which is now close enough for you to smell the mint in his breath – breaks into a smile before he’s leaning into your face to kiss you; You reciprocate the action and close your eyes, secretly hoping that today was but a nightmare.
You feel his gloved hands wander around your body, the leather-like material is smooth as his skilled digits play around. There’s barely any time to breathe as he continues kissing you until you grow dizzy from the lack of oxygen entering your lungs.
You had always liked Ajax, always dreamed of marrying him, but as your dreams were coming true you couldn’t help but feel suffocated by the circumstances that brought it up.
“Darling,” he moans, as he finally parts himself from your abused lips, “you’re not kissing back, don’t tell me you –“
“Ajax,” you interrupt, your voice barely above a whisper as you desperately try to dive into his eyes, seeking an answer, “why are you doing this?”
The question spoke for itself, no further clarification was needed; why had he come? Why had he revealed your parents’ plans? Was it even as awful as he made it seem? Why did he care? Why now? Did he really want to marry you or did he just feel responsible for you? Why did he bring himself into this mess? Why you, why him, why, why, why, why? Simply; why?
A part of you couldn’t quite believe what you’d heard, you still struggled to grasp the idea that your parents would even think of giving your hand away for Mora, and yet the intensity in his voice, the anger in his tone as he relayed the information he’d gathered could have convinced anyone, you doubted he’d lie about something as severe. If this was the truth, it’d been revealed to you too quickly, you’d been expected to get over it too soon, one moment you find out your parents were getting rid of you and your trust in the most materialistic of ways and the next you’ve been proposed to by a man you hadn’t seen in person for over half a decade. You can’t help but wonder if you said yes because you loved him or because you were desperate, for what - you didn’t know.
“Because I love you,” he speaks, his dull eyes finding yours and you wonder if they’d always lacked light, “I love you… and I’m not letting anyone get in my- our way.”
In his head, this was the only way to have you, this was the only way to love you, he was going to save you.
He doesn’t stop to wait for your response before he’s picked you up with ease, years of training and hard work evident by how nonchalantly he walks around your house and goes up the stairs, ignoring all the other rooms and picking up the pace the closer you got to the destination; you were going to your bedroom, you realize, the one you’d been occupying since you were a child. You never thought your house to be small but the speed in which he was walking made you aware of how short the distance between your bedroom and living room was.
“Ajax, what are you doing?” You whimper, you hold on tightly to the ginger, you’re so close you can smell his cologne, afraid he’d let you do if you let up even for a second.
“I’ll show you,” he continued down the hall, there’s an edge to his voice that gives you a chill, he sounded almost angry but with whom you did not know, “I’ll show you why I’m doing this.”
You two finally make your way to your bedroom where he kicks the door open and plops you, quite unceremoniously, down onto the mattress. He kicks off his shoes and wiggles his heavy coat off before climbing the bed with you, he tugs you around until you’re below him.
“You’re doing all of this too fast, calm down,” you argue, pain and sorrow still evident in your voice and it hurts his soul to hear it, “you don’t have to prove me anything, I…”
“Everything I’ve said is true, love,” the red-head insists, “and I’m doing this equally for me as I’m doing it for you.”
You don’t respond, instead you opt to look away; his gaze was becoming too intense and it was making you feel funny in ways you hadn’t felt before.
“Look at me,” his hands find your jaw and he redirects your gaze forcefully, “you’ve already said yes, unless… don’t tell me you,” his eyes darken as they narrowed, an almost animalistic look took over his features, “you lied and you don’t want to marry me.”
“I… I do, I’ve always wanted to, but,” It’s embarrassing to admit but you do so anyway in fear of creating a misunderstanding between the two of you, everything was going so fast you were struggling to keep up, “but… is this really how you want to do it?”
You were certain you could take things slower, maybe wait for your parents to come home and talk to them, you didn’t understand why he was in such a hurry, was this healthy? Was this okay?
“Yes,” it seems like he can sense your hesitation so he continues, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His words held so much certainty you almost feel stupid for even questioning him, he drew near your lips once more before engulfing your mouth in a kiss, this time with much more vigor than before.
His teeth nip at your lips, begging for entry and you shyly grant it, slowly parting your mouth open. It’s all so messy as you feel his tongue enter your mouth, the muscle seemingly had a life of its own as it mapped your mouth, teeth clashed against each other as if he were desperate to dominate you.
His hands find your waist and insists on pushing you further into the bed, molding your body into the mattress, as he rubs your sides with slow, sensual movements that light your body ablaze. The contrast between the continuous attacks on your lips and the soft stroking of your body left you dizzy, he handled you as if you were made of porcelain and yet ravaged you like a beast when granted access.
You unknowingly whine as your lips finally part, taking a deep breath of air in the process, a thin strip of saliva connected you both, a lewd indicator of the passion Ajax wished to imprint on you. You’re both panting, clearly riled up from the heated kiss, but the man on top of you insisted on letting his hands work their way through you. Your eyes trail downwards where his gloved digits traced the shape of your body, the way they glide across your curves and dips was hypnotizing, and you miss the way a smirk overtakes his features as he realizes how tightly he’s got you wrapped around those very same fingers.
You feel his breath before you hear his words; “Can I take this off?”
His voice is barely above a whisper yet his question rings around the room like a scream, you feel yourself grow hot under your clothes; the same ones he’d just asked to remove off of you.
You’re too embarrassed to answer him, still slightly hesitant to continue going, you can feel your cheeks heat up into a burning mess and you’re scared that if you speak you’ll make a fool of yourself, so instead you nod slowly, trying to calm your racing mind, moving your eyes elsewhere in hopes you wouldn’t have to see the smug look his face was sure to take.
However, he’s quick to catch your face and redirect your gaze back to himself; “Thank you.”
You let him pick you from the bed to fiddle with the claps on the back of your dress, his fingers are swift in figuring out how to free you from your outer layers, it’s almost amazing how quickly he’s able to take your clothes off until you’re clad in your modest undergarments.
Due to Snezhnaya’s unforgiving winters you often layered multiple articles of clothing and prioritized warmth over aesthetics, the thought your underwear might be underwhelming doesn’t cross your mind until you’re left with your thigh-length woolen socks and plain bra and panties. You wonder if maybe the sight would be disappointing for a man as well traveled as Childe, he’s probably seen much more appealing bodies and clothes during his travels, but that idea goes as quickly as it comes when you finally see his reaction to your partially bare body.
Even though he still wore multiple layers, you could see the way his chest had begun to fall and rise unsteadily, his cheeks have taken a feverish glow, and his breath has become noticeably ragged, the hands that held the clothes he’d recently taken off your body were clearly shaking, his fists tightened their grip on the soft fabrics of your garments until they wrinkled. His eyes never left you, even as they traveled through your body, mapping out every nook and cranny he so desperately wanted to mark and savor, he didn’t dare let his gaze wander as if afraid the minute he did you’d disappear and he’d wake up in his office, cold and alone.
“Hah…” Ajax lets out a soft moan as he takes in the sight in front of him, he feels weak and bothered as he watched your breasts rise and fall as you breathed, he lets his eyes go downwards until he’s face to face with your covered pussy and he feels his underwear slowly moisten as he catches sight of a small wet patch that had formed in your panties.
“Don’t look at me like that…” You mumble into your arms, your body instinctively tries to hide itself but your friend doesn't allow it. The minute he feels your legs try to bundle together he slots himself in between them and throws your clothes away so he can fully grasp and force them apart.
There’s silence as you both stare at each other, waiting for one of you to make the first move and fully pass the point of no return.
Surprisingly, this time it’s you who grows impatient and drags the ginger down to meet your hungry lips.
Maybe it’s because right now, Ajax felt like the only person who cared about you and you felt desperate to feel comforted, you felt betrayed and hurt and you craved to be reminded you were loved. It wasn’t healthy and a part of you felt guilty, like you were using him for momentary comfort, as if you’d forced him to come and offer his hand in marriage, if you were smarter and stronger maybe you would’ve realized what was going on and could have stopped it. But he’d said he loved you, right? You loved him, you knew you did and he’d gone and declared his love for you first, even when you were kids he was always dedicated to reminding you of his adoration, but your parents said that too and where did that lead to? He wasn’t doing this out of feeling obligated to care for you, was he?
Maybe this was a mistake, you probably should not be initiating sex with a man you haven’t seen in person in years after he came to tell you your parent had sold you off to marry some rich old, gross soldier, you instead should have sat down and talked for longer, tried figuring out what was going on and perhaps find a solution that didn’t include you marrying your childhood sweetheart, not out of love but out of fear of being forced into an arranged marriage with a stranger. But the fact of the matter is that you didn’t do that, you let yourself be dragged along by his passion and desperation, you now laid in bed making out with Ajax as you desperately tried to push the thoughts of self-doubt and disgust away.
You try to focus on the present without thinking of the past nor the future; The almost one million Mora your parents had pocketed didn’t mean anything, there was no Andrei Galkin, Ajax had never left you, the Fatui didn’t exist, there hadn’t been any betrayal or hurt feelings, you were safe and you were free, there was nothing. In this room, at least for this moment, all that existed was you and Tartaglia.
His shirt is a barrier between your greedy hands and his naked body that’s becoming increasingly annoying as you parted your lips to grant him access to your all of mouth, which he gladly accepts as your tongues caress each other in a sloppy manner, you feel your teeth sometimes clash with his own but you’re too focused on tugging at his clothes, trying to get them off with the least amount of space between you both to care. They could rip, you didn’t care, you wanted to feel his body and warmth, you needed to feel alive.
Your body is starting to feel tingly, your nipples feel hard against your bra and your lower region becomes needy. You want him to touch you more but his hands are busy fiddling with your hips and waist, alternating between the two spots as he caresses and pinches your skin.
You both seem hesitant to let each other go even if it’s for something as necessary as catching your breaths, but even if things seemed to have slowed down it didn’t mean something isn't happening.
“Ajax,” your voice is soft and breathless, you feel your lungs beg you to not speak, “take ‘em off, wanna touch you…”
You gesture at his clothes, slowly running a finger around his chest and stopping at - where you guessed - his nipple was and pressing down hard.
A deep grunt of approval escaped the man’s lips at the feeling and it took him a second to nod, busy trying not to focus too much on the way he felt his cock throbbing, and back off to make way for him to take his clothes off. Childe refuses to completely climb off you, instead leaning backwards to unbutton his shirt and click off the harness he wore, his coat falling behind is his figure, and his shoes long since thrown elsewhere, his pink nipples are clearly sensitive as his eyes shut off tightly as his clothes graze them, his whole body felt on fire - as if your mere presence were an aphrodisiac to the man. Next is his pants and socks and he does his very best to be as quick as humanly possible, they’re all off in record speed and he’s soon only wearing his underwear.
The minute he’s done, he’s thrown himself back onto you as if trying to make up for the few seconds he’d parted from you.
You’re flustered as you finally feel his skin freely come in contact with yours, as if the situation slowly began sinking in just then. Not to mention, you’d caught sight of his raging boner through the thin layer of fabric that constituted his undergarments. It looked big and thick and you wondered, if you even reached that point, if it was even possible to feel good from such a thing pounding on your hole, it looked like it’d hurt more than anything. But a greedy part of you was desperate to find out how it’d feel to have all of him inside of you, to have his fat tip caressing the deepest corners of your body, painting your gummy insides white.
This time, you both skip the kissing and go straight to touching each other, this time more shamelessly and with less hesitance. Your hands find his neck and you pull his head into the crook of your neck where he dedicates his time to litter kisses across the area, you let your hands wander across his shoulders and neck, softly scratching the skin under your nails whenever he kisses a particularly sensitive spot. On the other hand, Ajax let his hands travel across your chest and cup your breasts, he molds the flesh like a stress ball, tightening his grip and pulling at them like they were toys. The feeling of your bra coming into contact with your hardening nipples makes you whimper and moan while your body contorts in an attempt to meld deeper with the man on top of you.
Your movements are restricted and awkward as you were currently caged between the bed and him, but you do your best to communicate your growing neediness.
“A-Ajax, mhmm~!” You gasp, his teeth gnaw at a spot in your neck that has a shot of neediness reaching your privates in electrifying waves, “… more, I wan’ more…”
You can feel his lips curve into a smirk as he hears the desperation in your voice but he’s not better at concealing the very obvious way your words affected him; “My dove wants more? Hah—haha, a-aren’t you such a cute ‘nd needy little thing.”
You huff slightly at his teasing words but you can’t deny that the way he addressed you as “his” made you grow increasingly horny. He seems to hear your soft complaint and finally parts with your neck, which was now littered with hickies and love bites, to allow himself to gaze deeply into your eyes.
You could never deny that Ajax’s eyes were the prettiest shade of blue you’d ever seen, they resemble sapphires and noctilucous jade but with less shine. When you both were younger you’d spend hours gazing upon them, admiring the intensity they held. Now, however, you can’t say you aren’t slightly intimidated as he gazes at you like a predator. His hands leave your body and you’re immediately missing the warmth they provided you, in fact, you’re about to complain and ask him to touch you again when he suddenly cups your clothed pussy with his hand.
His hand is large, his fingers are long and the palm is in no way small, which meant most - if not all - of your cunt was now being held in one of his hands. His thumb is hovering over your clit and you gasp as you feel him tighten his hold and trace his fingers across your slit and up to your sensitive nub.
You squirm, letting your bottom grind against his hands, slowly building up your pleasure until you’re letting out soft moans and whines. Tartaglia decides to aid you as he himself works towards getting his member hard and oozing with release by moving his hand across your pussy and grinding on your thighs simultaneously. Your mind grows hot and dazed as you sense your pussy begin to drool, you could feel the way your juices leaked, the wet trail they’d leave and traveled across your your entrance, down your slit and across your thighs, soaking your underwear with release; you wondered if Ajax could feel your excitement too.
You could certainly feel him. His cock had long since been hard and leaking precum, you could make out through hazy eyes and desperate movements a wet patch on his boxers. It looked so big constrained against the fabric, you wanted to free his cock and feel it inside your hole, any of them, his balls seemed to hold unceremonious amounts of cum as the wetness kept growing more and more visible to you, you wondered if he’d be willing to come inside of you if you asked.
You both work together, trying to make the other as aroused as possible until someone snapped and began demanding the intercourse you both clearly wanted.
You don’t want to give in, not yet, but he’s begun to tease your slit with his fingertips and you’re growing aggravated from the empty feeling in your cunt. You feel yourself clenching onto nothing, your walls closing desperately trying to find anything to grip onto, you are growing desperate to feel something inside, be it his fingers, his tongue or his cock — you wanted him inside of you, now.
“Ha… hah~” You can feel his tongue hanging from his open mouth, drool escapes his parted lips and coats your breasts, you’re surprised he’s managed to keep himself up for so long, all the training he’d endured paying off and allowing him to mount your thighs and grind his length against your skin, his expression is one of extreme arousal that makes you tense and grow lust-drunk, “T-Tell me… d’ya wanna feel my cock in your pussy yet, darling?”
“…! M—mhk?!” You let out a high pitched whine as a particular stroke of his hands delves momentarily into your clothed hole, you can feel your cum slowly dirty your underwear.
“Look at you,” he chuckles, his movements growing erratic, his ginger hair seems darker and less vibrant against his reddened face, “your… your pussy is beggin’ for me!”
“Please…” Your voice is barely above a whisper, your body still rocks alongside his own as he uses your body to get off and bring you close to a mind-numbing release, your voice wavers as your whole being is shocked from the pleasure Ajax’s hand toying with your clothed cunt brings, your legs twitch and your body keeps contorting and folding.
“Hmm, please what? I need you to tell me,” he mumbles, his voice takes a deep, desperate and animalistic tone as he continues, he takes his fingers and starts to circle your clit with an unimaginable force, “What do you want, huh? If you want me to fuck y-you, you’ll need to use your big girl words. Say; “I want my husband’s cock inside of me”, come on, ask for y-your husband’s cock…!”
“A~Ajax…! Please-uh…” Your body begins to hurt, your very own genitals seem to be burning in fire as you desperately try to soothe the ache in your womb and clit. You begin to rut against his hands at an embarrassing, almost objectifying, pace, absolutely desperate to cum and lift the cloud of lust that seemed to haunt you from the moment Ajax laid your body on your mattress.
“That’s not who I am,” he mumbles into your skin, his teeth beginning to bite and mark the flesh of your breast, “I’m y-your husband now, right? So, ask for it properly… hah~ won’t you?”
“… want my h-husband’s cock, I… inside of me, please,” you whine between heavy breaths, “I… want to fuck my—hah… h-husband…”
The moan that leaves his lips is loud and primal, his whole body shudders as he hears your plea. He didn’t think he could get any harder and yet hearing your shaky voice ask for him sends a rush of blood through his body and straight to his dick.
“Ahaha… that’s right, isn’t it? I-I’m your husband now,” an unsettling grin starts to form on his face, one that, if you weren’t so desperate and vulnerable, would probably have sent a shiver down your spine; it was an expression that resembled his face after ending a powerful opponent, one that meant victory was his, that he’d won, it was the face many people would see before departing the realm of the living, one of pure, unhinged bliss that could only be understood by a man such as himself, “I’m your husband, your husband… a-ah! Ha-ah, that means… hah, that means it’s my duty to fuck you, to make you feel good, a good husband makes love to his spouse, right? S-so as your husband, I get to be inside of you… a-and make you cum lots. Yeah, I… I’m going to be the best husband, you’ll feel good too… So be a good wife and take all of my love, ‘kay?”
During his incoherent rambling, which you barely could understand, he works to rid you of your underwear with desperate movements. His hands pull at the fabric with enough force that they tear, allowing him to rip the fabric off your hips and discard it on the floor. The cool air in your room hits your lower end and makes you shiver, your body had been previously engulfed by Childe’s warmth, the feeling of his own heating body and rapid blood circulation had sheltered you from the freezing temperature outside of the sinful haven between your bodies. The difference in temperature and its effect on you seems to have been noticed by your partner, who looks around the room trying to find a solution.
You want to hurry him up, tell him you didn’t mind the cold, that you just wanted to feel him inside you for the first time, but before you know it he’s pulling something from behind; his white coat soon is back on his shoulders, lazily throw on, barely holding up as he quickly pulls his underwear off. He’s quick and precise, never wasting a moment as he adjusts himself on top of you once more, this time with his bare cock leaking on your stomach.
“I’ll heat you up… inside and out, hah…” He mumbles, adjusting the coat so it covers both of you, the long, heavy material immediately worked wonders as your body regained its warmth.
You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer to you, you’re both trembling as he slowly lowers his pelvis to meet your own. You were right, he was big and he was long and thick, but he made sure to go slowly as he inserted two fingers to stretch you out in preparation.
Your slick facilitates the intrusion, there’s not much pain as he opens and closes his fingers, curling and extending them, as if trying to gauge how far you could stretch. His cheeks are a bright red, sweat runs through his forehead as he feels your body accommodate the feeling of his fingers. Ajax was big, always taller than most in your village, and his time in the Fatui had definitely contributed to his size – his shoulders were broad, his chest chiseled, and his fingers, the ones that slowly danced inside your pussy, were long and calloused. This was your first time feeling something other than your own hands and Ajax was making sure to show you all the places you could have never reached on your own.
You don’t even realize you’d begun panting, soft whines and moans had been leaving your lips forma while now, noises that only served to encourage Ajax further. But he had to stop, he needed you both to cum together as one. Your first time together had to be romantic like that, both of you climaxing together and coming undone at the same time.
There’s a feeling of emptiness and disappointment that follows the feeling of his fingers leaving your body, you’re about to complain when you see him bring his fingers to his lips to lap at the slick that had stuck to them. You’re mesmerized at the lewd image, gazing hopelessly at the way his face melted into one of pure pleasure as he tasted you. He makes sure to lick his fingers clean, his tongue lapping at the cum.
You catch his eyes and they soften, a lovestruck look taking over his features, you nod and open your legs wider than before; encouraging him to finally fuck you. He positions himself outside of your opening, making sure you grasp your legs and pull them as wide apart as he physically could without hurting you.
Even with the previous preparation, your breath is knocked out of your lungs as his tip slowly makes its way through your slit, past the muscles and finally inside your gummy walls.
He uses his arms to adjust his body, making sure to be as careful as possible as to not hurt you. This was your first time making love to each other, and he’d be damned if he were the one to cause you pain.
He gives you a second before pushing the rest in, he’s still slow, attempting to coax your body into adjusting to the feeling of being so full. His blue eyes are closed, his breath is heavy and you can feel the bed shake as he tries to control himself, you’re not faring much better, your head felt light as all your body could seemingly concentrate on was the feeling between your legs, your body was heating up and you could feel the warmth radiate off your skin.
You know he’s fully sheathed himself when you feel the soft “thud” of his balls hitting your ass, you’ve become hyper aware of the proximity and situation you’re in as his cock begins to throb inside of your pussy, his head comes to rest on the crook of your neck as you both adjust to the feeling of each other's body.
A moment passes, your walls that had previously been gripping Ajax like a lifeline slowly weaken, finally allowing both of you to relax and begin to experiment.
“I-I’ll start…” He mumbles, avoiding your gaze as if feeling shy, he begins to move around as if to grip the bed’s headboard, all while still inside you, his arms allowing him to cover your body from the world.
As you look up, you realize how he’s become all you see, his imposing frame and coat acting as a curtain blocking the outside from entering your view. Your heart feels heavy but you try and pay it no mind.
The movements are slow and clumsy at first, his cock never truly leaves your warmth fully, his tip always kept inside of your cunt - one way or another. The feeling is strange, you’re not used to the way his length would gaze at your walls or the feeling of the veins on his dick caressing spots inside of you that made you gasp and curl your toes. It’s new and it takes some adjusting before you begin to rock your own hips to meet his, suddenly it begins to feel good, really good in fact. There was something about the stretch, maybe it was the feeling of being so full, the way his cock curved and hit spongy spots in your pussy becomes addicting, or maybe it was the fat vein that decorated the underside of his cock, but it wasn’t long until you’re trying to entice a faster, tougher pace.
He takes his time teasing and easing you into the rhythm of sex, he wouldn’t tell you, but a part of him was scared that if he picked up his pace he wouldn’t be able to stop until you were leaking his cum - not to mention, he wasn’t sure he’d last long if he started to fuck you even faster. The feeling of your walls gripping him was divine, there are moments his thrusts grow unsteady and out of sync, as if his body was trying to take control and allow itself to set the animalistic pace he so desperately wanted, it’s these exact moments where his patience is tested, where he wants nothing more than to pick up your body and use it as a toy to fill with his semen.
“I wan’ more,'' you moan and he freezes as he feels your hips pathetically lift up to meet his heated thrust, your lower region coming up and rolling, rocking, and sloppily caressing his own pelvis in an attempt to suck him deeper into your sex, this was the first time you’d ever experienced such fullness and pleasure, your mind was numb and you’d forgotten all about previous sorrows, you truly wanted to feel more and more until all you could think of was Ajax’s cock and feeling good, “… wan’na feel my… my husband’s c-cock…?!”
At the title, the ginger truly can’t help the way his hips basically crash into yours, it was purely instinctual – just the sound of your calling him yours and acknowledging him as your husband, even if you’d only gotten engaged less than an hour ago, was enough to drive him mad with lust. He feels his head grow dizzy as thoughts of breeding you and claiming you as his take over. It’s as if a switch is turned on because from that moment onwards the atmosphere changed completely.
His previously considerate and soft strokes become harsh and rapid, you can feel your bed move rhythmically with his thrusts, your whole body jolts as he begins to fuck you with the sole goal of filling you so deeply your body was to be conditioned to respond lewdly to his mere presence. They’re deeper too as he now focused on feeling and claiming as much of your hole as possible, it’s impossible not to feel the way his cock imprinted itself deeply inside your body.
Your hands are desperate to grasp onto something, so you clutch at the sheets under you as tightly as possible, your body feels hot and heavy; your legs twitch and you're left gasping as Childe grabs your hips to adjust your position. You’re still lying down but your back arches itself to allow him easy access to your bottom, it’s surprising how easily he’s able to manhandle your body while never quite pulling out, always making sure to insert himself as quickly as he exited, never truly pulling out all of his dick.
The new position allows for him to hurry his pace, you’re soon moving like a rag doll with no control over your limbs. You’re left a moaning, whining mess as your brain struggles to process the waves of pleasure that bloomed from deep inside your pussy.
You feel your heart beating and you can almost hear the sound of your slick pouring out and lubricating your walls, making it increasingly easy to continue the Fatui’s pounding of your cunt. You’re not too sure if you’re even able to talk, the thought of forming a coherent sentence felt farfetched, all that leaves your lips are whines, sounds of pure pleasure and bliss that sound like an orchestra to Ajax.
He’s not doing much better, his vocabulary seems to have been reduced to declarations of ownership over you, boundless love, and immense pleasure. Your name soon becomes the only coherent sound leaving his lips as he lets his head fall back, his body almost working on autopilot as he allows his hips to ram inside you while his hands focus on teasing your nipples and forcing you to face his reddening face. His chest shines with sweat as he makes sure to fill the room with the sound of your skin meeting him and the growing wet mess between your merging bodies.
You’re both soon leaking arousal, Ajax’s cock starts to slowly redden and grow inside of you as he approaches orgasm, drops of precum start to form on the tip, and your torso starts to heat up as it feels heavier the better you feel; your cum is soon coating his dick white, a clear indicator he’d been inside your drooling cunt. You let go of the sheets and bring a hand to your clit, desperate to bring yourself closer to release.
“Ah-! Just like that,” Ajax exclaims, lurching forward as he feels your walls tighten around his cock, “tighten around me like that, fu–uck! I’m gonna cum, gonna cum in your pussy, gonna shoot my cum inside you… Haha–hah! You’re… you’re gonna be full with my cum, are you ready?”
You nod mindlessly, too busy playing with your clit and pressing kisses into Ajax’s skin. The feeling of being filled by your childhood sweetheart was intoxicating, it left you an overstimulated mess, moaning and whining as you gripped the man’s shoulders to bring him closer to you.
You couldn’t tell who came first, only that your final push was the feeling of Childe’s lips on yours. Maybe it’s the desperation you felt radiating off him as his tongue caressed your own, the way his hands tighten around your body as he begins unloading his cum begins seeping into your pussy and deep inside your body. You’re a shaking mess as you continue riding your orgasm on his dick, prolonging the pleasurable feeling by rocking your hips into his in an almost shy manner, it’s addicting and you’re left gasping and moaning for more. On the other hand, Ajax was trembling on top of you, his arms seemingly giving out as he collapsed into your body, allowing his head to rest beside your own on your pillows while his cock throbbed and painted your insides with his cum. He gives a few weak thrusts, as if making sure that his balls have been thoroughly emptied, before he looks over at your panting face.
You’re trying to catch your breath, desperately trying to calm your heart down into a stable rhythm, while your body twitches in a post-orgasm afterglow. You’re sweating, your eyes shut tight as you feel your pussy swell around Ajax’s dick, which was very much still inside you, and grow sensitive. Even in this state, where you’re too shaken to do anything other than breathe and try to relax your body, he thinks he’s never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.
His hand, which trembled ever so slightly, travels to find yours and intertwine your fingers together. He subconsciously traces your ring-finger, trying to estimate your size, you’d accepted his proposal, going as far as acknowledging him as your husband, it was now his responsibility to find a suitable ring for you, one worthy of resting on your fingers.
He smiles, cuddling deep into your bare skin, pressing his softening cock deeper into you, which earns him a soft whine from you, essentially plugging his semen inside your pussy.
“… I love you, Ajax.” You mumble, eyes still closed shut, your voice drowsy and far away as exhaustion slowly catches up to you. Today had been hard on you, physically and mentally, you’d learnt more than you’d wished to have known, your relationship with those around you now forever changed; you’d agreed to marry your childhood friend in response to your parents’ betrayal, you’d given up your virginity to him and now laid in bed, struggling to know if you’d made the right decisions. An inner turmoil was growing inside you, a storm of emotions you were not ready to deal with, but right now, as you lay beneath the man who’d promised to save you, you decide to rest and let him take care of it, for now. Your breathing slows down, your body finally succumbing to sleep.
You’re too tired to hear the sound of the front door unlocking, your mother’s voice booming across the house as she calls out for you as she ushers your father and guests inside your family house. Ajax makes no move to leave your bed or even remove himself from inside of you, not even as he recognizes the distinct sound of footsteps that belonged to your parents moving around downstairs, grinnin softly as he hears your mother call out for you again, while your father talked to someone and merrily laughed, joking around, easing the tension of the first meeting between two people set up in an arranged marriage – where only one of them knew.
He can hear your parents talking, making an excuse at where you were, he can hear your mother climb up the stairs, he can hear her getting closer to your room.
What a lousy move, he thought to himself, to ambush you one day and try to dump the news on top of you like this, you didn’t even seem aware of guests coming over to your home at all, he frowned; he had expected more of uncle and auntie. Alas, he’d long since given up on them, he just hopes your mother doesn’t scream too loudly when she sees you two in bed together.
He’d hate for you to wake up to such an awful shriek.
There’s a knock on your door, Ajax smiles but makes no move to answer, and then another as your mother calls out your name. She sighs before threatening to open the door, Ajax has to stifle a giggle, pressing his lips into your shoulder to not let out any noise, too afraid to ruin the surprise for his soon to be mother-in-law, she hears no response, she clearly feels agitated and annoyed, he can hear it the way she knocks once more with a stern calling of your name.
There’s a second of silence before the door is swung open.
Ajax looks over to your mother, his coat covering both your naked forms enough that a semblance of modesty is kept but not enough that what happened between the two of you was misunderstood, it would be clear to anyone who could walk in, and he smiles, leaning his body into your own, further embracing you and pushing your sleeping face into his chest, he rolls over as a playful wave is sent her way, she stands frozen in place. Your bottom halves are still covered by the oversized coat, but the bruises and bites that litter your bodies are enough to paint a picture, his hand moves to caress your body, a smug smile takes over his features as he watches your mother try to come up with the right words to say.
“Hello, ma’am,” his tone is playful but the look on his face is one of pure venom, she looks beyond flustered but isn’t able to say a word; too shaken by the sight, the combination of her daughter and a man in bed together and the Harbinger’s insignia that seemed to shine with even the smallest movements from the ginger was enough to send her stumbling back, “it’s been a while, we have a lot to catch up on, huh?”
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worstloki · 1 year
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random thorki headcanon time (if u want)
they were both envious of what they perceived the other having for so long that they struggle with grasping the perspective of the other. their immediate assumption is always to doubt the other brother recounting their feelings of an event properly, making communication the largest hurdle between them when trying to repair their relationship.
#they both understand each other as brothers on a fundamental level but assuming they know the other never goes well#they struggle with separating each other from themself in their head and the idea of having MISSED the changes frustrates them both#but on the envious thing it's like#Thor looked at Loki and saw that he had freedoms he never did and Frigga's ear/willingness to humour him#while Thor had standards enforced on him which he struggled to make personal and Odin's favour which was not a boon of comfort#Loki looked at Thor and saw him commanding freedoms he never had and their Father with the Kingdom's favour in trust#while Loki struggled to keep up with standards enforced on him and Frigga wasn't the sage counsel he could speak loosely to#i think Loki saw Thor performing peak Asgardian masculinity and wondered why he couldn't too and he lowkey gave up on competing#Loki didn't see Thor as competition he saw Thor as everything he *wasn't* so every time he failed a task he was envious#but it wasn't directly at Thor as much as it was on himself#he saw Thor being popular and sleeping around and just being Thor and that would never be something he could do#he recognized that because it wasn't what he personally desired to do and he wasn't happy with the idea of being entertainment for people#while Thor refused the idea that the path that was expected of him was not what he wanted - and if it wasn't it's what he *should* want#so he overcorrects and plays to be larger than life because that's his role and the duty he'll be given at the end of the day#Thor looked at Loki and thought it must be nice not to have that pressure of conforming#he looked at Loki being stronger in areas like study and magic and wished he could focus on things he liked too#he was jealous that Loki could look at a situation and make the decision to leave a fight when Thor couldn't do that#etc. etc.#this has been brodinsons but it would make any thor/loki secx much spicier for them both#to have a part of them that can't stop hating the other#because they vied for what the other had for so long
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