It’s funny how some experiences, regardless of what time, country or society you’re from, are universal. Like, everyone in history has probably had their stomach make ungodly noises during a time of silence (in class, on the subway, at a funeral) which made you immediately want to sink into the ground and disappear, and honestly I think that’s beautiful. We’re all human, no matter what time or place we’re in. We all have embarrassing moments that we’d rather not think of, but it’s all part of the wolf roller coaster we call life
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something i keep thinking about is who mary is to sam. she didn't raise him; he doesn't know her except through the stories john and dean told him. she exists in pictures and print, not in memories. she's a stranger to him, yet his entire life has revolved around her. he seeks revenge for a woman he's never met or known or loved. she's just a secondhand god to a nonbeliever, omnipresent but never actually there, never actually touched or held or shared. he's outside the church looking in on the mass but never able to partake. it must be alienating, for your family to have known god while you're left only to your own faith.
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omori tslb au comic
started this a while ago when i came up with shattered and scattered au (post omori bad ending where headspce bleeds into faraway and they have to figure out what's going on) remembered and decided to finish it today of all days. now i'm calling it "the shattered light bulb"
i am in no way a fic or comic writer so i doubt i'll ever make this into a full on series but i might post a couple more drabbles/ short out of context comics if i get to it. very welcome to any thoughts or questions ppl have
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most of us have heard of the red car game. you’re on a road trip, you’re bored, you start looking for red cars to do something.
and then they’re everywhere. you notice them nearly every few minutes.
there aren’t suddenly more red cars now, of course. you were seeing them already, but you weren’t noticing. you weren’t looking.
I am noticing things.
there is a plant I notice everywhere now, a small bushy plant in suburbs, along streets, by shops on the highways. dwarf umbrella bush is what the internet tells me when I look for it’s name. I did this because I wanted to know why,
every time I ever saw it, every place,
it was always dying.
always the leaves turning yellow, the branches small and scraggly. inside out - nitrogen deficiency. their soil drained.
I am noticing how many of these landscaping plants are yellowing, how small and sickly they look in just a few years. I am noticing how often the grass outside the house is replaced when it once again turns brown and dry, how the type never changes and the cycle starts again. I am noticing how the unmowed, unkempt spaces on lakesides and roadsides look more alive than this. how the preserve I grew up next to was miles of “messy” unmanicured nature and the ground was covered in leaves instead of grass and there was life.
I am noticing the birds that come by the lake. there was a flash of blue wings and red chest - eastern bluebird, male, relatively common. I had never seen one before. there is a family of ducks that appear every spring; i cannot say if it’s successive generations or different ducks, but I can always look forward to ducklings. there are little brown birds with white heads whose names I do not know - are they some kind of piper? why don’t I already know?
why is it so hard to learn about my native plants (accurately, that is)? why are so many gardening sites littered with people who think a plants value is based on how pretty or useful it is to them, who think a tree shedding leaves is “messy”?
why is knowing about the world we live in so… odd? why is it a hobby and not vital knowledge? I learned about polar equations. I taught myself about mycorrhizal networks and species of insects.
(did you know there are shiny green bees? a special species of wasp pollinating figs? that white flowers bloom at night for moths? do you know? have you looked?)
I cannot look at a lawn and see life anymore. it is a wasteland, devoid of life, dying slowly itself. everywhere is grass, grass, doused in water that runs over into storm drains, soaked in fertilizer and pesticides and a hundred other poisons and sending one clear message:
this is a place of death. life is not welcome here.
I do not think I could live in a city. too loud, yes, too busy, yes, too many people, yes, but the plants would bother me. a tree allotted only a convenient square, surrounded by dead stone and metal.
a forest cleared for this, for burning asphalt streets and racing cars and shops whose bathrooms are “for paying customers only”.
this is a place of death. life is not welcome here.
and now I am noticing.
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Do/for you have to make references for any other characters in Handplates? Like the mouse or pterofractal? The same goes for the characters that have canon designs in Undertale. Did you ever need a ref for them?
Honestly I like never make reference sheets until something forces me, haha. With the mouse I just go back to the first comic he appeared in and just ref off of those. I might have mentioned this before, I forget, but originally that mouse was supposed to be the mole in the MTT comedy club but then I looked up their speech pattern and it didn't fit, so instead I made them a Rathbone cameo from The Lost Mind of Dr. Brain. :B
I had to improvise his lower body so I just gave him big wading pants lol.
As for Pterofractal, Jaz gave me this!
I do have a folder for canon refs, mostly screenshots I've taken to get colors and layouts for certain areas in the Underground, haha. And some sprite sheets if I need them.
Nothing really official or purposeful though, just screencaps and snips from other files I end up reusing.
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
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