i hate trying to reach out to people, and just wanting to talk to them, but getting really dead responses. like, if you don’t wanna talk just say that, rather than texting me so dry i think i’m in the sahara. hurts more than it does just blatantly being told to fuck off imo
I’m always the other girl. I’m the one that’s not liked. Or ugly. Or weird. Or odd. Or socially dead. I’m the one you don’t want to be. The one that’s whispered about behind her back. THe one that’s ignored. That’s overlooked. That’s hated. That’s teased. That’s mocked. That’s isolated. The Other Girl. I don’t want to be, but I’m her. Every single time.
For once, just once. I just want people to see me as her. The one that’s liked. That’s loved. That’s pretty. That’s admired. That everyone wants to be around. That’s wanted. That you laugh with and not at. I just want to be her, and not the other girl.
I feel like I’m fucking up all my relationships bc I’m such a fucking mess. And if I vent to anyone about what’s upsetting me or WHY I’m a mess, it just ruins my relationships even more.
I’m still a socially inept piece of shit, trying to build a life on top of a mound of shit.