#non gold star lesbian

[butch-reidentified]

what do you think of lesbians who have a sexual history with men because of internalized homophobia

Tbqh I think it's not my right and would be presumptuous of me to pass judgment when life comes with such a massive variety of circumstances and nuance, and the human brain is a wildly complex and powerful thing.

#anon ask #ask #mine #lesbian experiences #gold star lesbian #non gold star lesbian

[man-squared]

People really think when you talk about lesbians being men or having relationships with men means you want them personally to go sleep with every man and not that you want every lesbian to have their own autonomy to decide what lesbianism means to them personally.

Like literally, the people who make large ass call out posts or posts that whine that there are people who are mspec lesbians or lesbian men or just that some lesbians have sex with men always make it so personal no matter if they are a lesbian or not. They seem to not be able to remove themselves from someone else's lesbianism and autonomy.

No one (seriously, no one besides actual lesbophobes) are claiming that you, a lesbian, has to have any relation to men. You do not have to date or have sex with lesbian men (or mspec lesbians), and guess what! We don't want to do those things with you either. No one is saying that because a small percentage of lesbians might have sex with men and/or be attracted to men, you as a lesbian have to. I don't know why you decided that you have to live in a world with communal absolutes. Not all lesbians are you, and you are not all lesbians (like really do you like the same women as every other lesbian? No, because you aren't other lesbians). Let lesbians have autonomy. Let lesbians live. Let queer people be!

Tldr: you don't have to do what other lesbians do. Just because a lesbian has any kind of relationship with men doesn't mean you have to. Other lesbians existing do not negate your lesbianism.

#long #lesbian #men #like you all do realize lesbianism is as much personal as it is communal. you dont have to fit in a lesbian box based on a gold star- #-lesbian who sees herself as the perfect gay. #and its always like 'well no nonbinary lesbians or butch lesbians... well maybe they are ok but they are on thin ice... but not these- #-other lesbians. those ones are demons on earth sent to hurt the saints that are lesbians“ like ppl keep moving the goal post and if you- #-arent rhe 'perfect image of x' then you arent an x or queer. just a faker who actively harms the whole community somehow despite not- #-having access to said community 🤷🏻‍♂️. #also pay attention to posts like the one that just popped up. there tends to be a lot of aphobes and queerphobes. (and usually a ton of- #-transphobes). like i saw a lot of this discourse on twitter and the amount of t women pushing back against it every time was wonderful- #-and then they would be called fake t women and the extreme transphobes would call them terrible names and misgendering them. (v similar to- #-the transfemmes who support trans ppl talking abt their own specific transphobia. and also similar to the ppl who call any- #-lesbian who is not the perf lesbian who agrees w them a non-lesbian. it happens every fucking time.) #queer #man²

[allwomenjointhe4bmovement]

"Non binary lesbian" is not a thing!

"Transmasc lesbian" is not a thing!

"Asexual lesbian" is not a thing!

"Aromantic lesbian" is not a thing!!!!

You people need to stop trying to join two completely different labels together!

Stop trying to change the definition of lesbian by adding new buzzwords to it, THAT IS NOT HOW WORDS WORK FOR FK SAKE!!!

A lesbian is a WOMAN who is BOTH sexually and romantically attracted to other women ONLY!!!

#lesbian erasure #lesbophobia #gold star lesbian supremacy #aromantic lesbian #lgbtgia+ #lesbian #lesbians #lesbian community #lgbt #aromantic #aroace #asexual #transmasc #non binary #nonbinary #nonbinary lesbian #transmasc lesbian

[realasslesbian]

Like, probably the only way I could think of comphet as an actual real thing is if there is no choice in the matter. As in, you were six months into conversion therapy, drugged outta your mind on the pills the pastor gave to you (actual thing that happens btw friend of mine once had that going for her). Or you were born in a religious cult and they had you praying literally fourteen hours a day to not be gay anymore, no rest, no bathroom breaks, just pray for fourteen hours straight and maybe a bowl of rice afterwards (another thing a different friend of mine went through). I could probably understand how heterosexuality might seem a viable option after several months of psychological torture. What I don’t think is comphet is you feeling left out bc all the girlies have boyfriends and one guy is pressuring you so you just have some shots and fuck him. Like, nah sis, that’s on you, that was a choice you made.

#and like #if the bar is so low for what counts as comphet #I can guarantee every gold star lesbian has experienced it too #contrary to popular belief #gold star lesbians don't just sail through life never experiencing homophobia ever #that's why when non-gs are like 'but the comphet!!1!' I just be like lmao and? #that ain't a point of difference here #anyway #lesbian #lgbt #gold star lesbian #gold star lesbians DO interact

[vegfam]

i can't see the full reply or the post itself bc i reported it but it is hilarious to be like "but i'm a lesbian" when told you hate lesbians. POC can hate POC, gay people can hate gay people, women can hate women, etc

#im not gonna go on about this more just wanted to let you know nobody cares when you announce to people you hate non gold star lesbians

[moonlightsapphic]

I’m soooo fucking tired of people who have no idea about my life questioning the validity about my opinions on the plot of Stranger Things 4. The number of straight people in my life announcing this was the ✨ epitome ✨ of accurate queer rep in period piece television and defending the Duffers (despite this season being pretty flawed all-around) with their lives, and then telling me that the writers don't owe me anything to my face is beyond me. Acquantances that are publicly out under the poly/mspec/bi+ umbrella have held up their identity to me like some sort of VIP card to shut me down. They haven't bothered to take into consideration any of the vast, rich discourse going on amongst the queer community online. They don't know that I'm the only one amongst them who has ever been in a long-term same-sex relationship, and if this were that kind of pissing competition, then I would inadvertantly win. I'm not out to them (and I don't have the privilege to ever be publicly out) and I'm glad that I made that choice.

#They legitimately aren't even aware of the proper ship names which were hilarious imo and cheapened their whole argument 10x #what any artist owes to their audience was NOT THE POINT of the conversation #I thought we were actually discussing media like civilized people?? #one of them is literally an english major istg #bet she gets all the gold stars in class bc profs in our country reward loud assholes #bet I'd beat her ass in a well-moderated classroom discussion #but alas #hold your accepting queer friends and allies close y'all #sapphic #bi #queer #bisexual #lesbian #gay #lgbtq pride #queer bipoc #lgbtq+ #desi queer #non binary #love is love #pan #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #st4 vol2 #st4 v2 #stranger things 4 vol 2 #stranger things 4 volume 2 #byler #mileven

[fruitmix]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

No. And I don’t understand why we use such a term that divides the community in a way that doesn’t matter

#the term gold star lesbian makes it sound like having never slept with men makes one better than another #I’d rather focus on what we have in common which is women (or non men) who love other women (or non men) <3 #also sexuality is so fluid so who cares #wlw culture

[lexluvswriting]

L'autunno - Eris x balletdancerfem!reader

☆ Ch: 1

-> Content Warning + Notes (CW + N): x fem!reader, slow-burn, rivals to lovers, tinkle of angst, fluff, non-specified identity, no specific time in storyline except it is a few months after Amarantha. live, laugh, love 2 lesbian mothers!!

-> Trigger Warnings (TW): Eris Vanserra, mentions of racism, mentions of discrimination, mentions of forced removal from homes (cant think of the name rn), Beron Vanserra is a massive cunt.

W/C: 2.8k

╰┈➤ Lex's note: omg eris fic is here grahhh!!! the title for this comes from Vivaldi's Four Seasons Concerto album, which i did listen to while writing this, yes yes. Eris has is a massive dick, but i'd like to believe he's a massive cunt for a reason that will... hopefully be revealed better- though Morrigan's suffering is not excusable at all! and i hope reader can hold him accountable throughout the series!! (she will). this will absolutely be a ride for all of us. while reader is fem and i have not specified any identity aside from Summer Court, I do make a few plays at racism, which there absolutely was in ACOTAR. so if this does feel a bit daunting, triggering and hurts, please let me know if it feels like i have written a little too intensely- i'm basing it off of personal, and researched experiences.

A violin filled the studio, wafting around like a strong scent- hypnotic as you inhaled deeply, eyes shut to steel yourself and count in before your arms swung up and out, fingers and feet pointed within your ballet shoes as you began to dance. Careful, calculated steps sent you spinning around the room- the perfect prima of your time. A prime example for those who dream to even come close to your level.

In a room of fire, your movements were fluid. In a room of embers, you were a tidal wave. Your body poise and malleable as you stretched yourself alluringly to those who watched as you swayed for the sweet symphony of violins. Eyes watched you from a concealed viewing platform high above- russet spheres simmering with a flame of interest that was bound to end in a fiery mess.

“Her. I want her to perform for the Equinox.”

“She’s quite the star, isn’t she?” Your mentor nodded, eyes twinkling with pride, before he wore his favourite facade- an arrogant smirk on his lips as he inspected his manicured nails. Eris’ face was impassive, yet any trained, or similarly minded individual would see the need for greed in his russet eyes as he glared down at you, pupils flaring possessively.

“She’s my starlet, young Lord. I cannot let her perform without any… payment. She will be put through harsh training- stretching, extension of her muscles, and her diet will be limited- to ensure she is tamed and perfect for the Lord’s family. I know the Lady of Autumn thoroughly enjoys the…” He trailed off nervously as Eris held up a silencing hand, the young heir fixing him with a cold stare- despite the fire in his veins.

“Spare me. Your pocket will be stuffed accordingly. But I warn you,” With one hand he grabbed the collar of the weaker male’s shirt with a predatory grace,

 She must be perfect, or else we won’t have her, and the only old you’ll see is the Vanserra signet ring imprinted in your cheek.” His hand clenched accordingly, the Vanserra signet ring- the emblem of the Autumn Court banners carved in the pure gold, making Gustav still and nod compliantly. The heir dismissively waved for a servant to hand your instructor a list before storming out- ignoring your dancing figure.

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

“Wrong! When we kick, our leg must come out-”

A cold hand clamped around your calf, another hand pushing just above your knee, the joint loose like a hinge. Your face was impassive- unmoving even as a small ‘pop’ echoed from somewhere in your knee. One of the junior dancers recoiled visibly, hiding her face behind her hands as a cluster of them watched you be used like a demonstration doll for your instructor.

“Stiff! Strong! Not flabby and weak. We are not caterpillars- we are butterflies. We are not brutish fires, we are?”

“Dancing flames.” The dancers replied in a drone of young feminine voices, with a few meek boys who looked like they were on the verge of clawing their eyes out. Gustav was being a right pain in the ass as always, but today he seemed more sharpened. Another lecture, another scolding, but it was always,

“For the better! I do this for your own good, my dears! When the Equinox arises and we are in front of your esteemed Lord, I know his lordship would enjoy seeing his dancers disciplined. Lean and poise. Controlled.”

The cold hand that held your leg squeezed once in warning- ‘I’m talking about you too’, before letting go, as your instructor sighed with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“That is why we dance the way we dance, and why I speak the way I do. Now leave me! And warm down appropriately or I will personally see to it that the muscles you take for granted will tear.” A curl of the lip in a low, warning snarl, before he waved with a sweeter disposition. 

“Adequate work today, my dears!” Footsteps echoed as the younger dancers left first, whispers filling the halls as they eagerly complained about their instructor. The older ones bid polite greetings of farewell as they followed, until you were the last to leave. The prima. Gus liked to call you the ‘Summer jewel in the Autumn box’.

“Ah, ah, ah! I mean it, my jewel. No going off and doing your own thing.” You pause. His voice carried a weariness of someone twice his age, before he covered it up with his usual airy arrogance, “The Lord will be hosting important families at this gathering. Something big is on the horizon and I know he will be watching you closely.”

Ah, yes. Kicking out all the non-fae and those who hail from other courts. The nationalist prick seemed to have no lost winks of sleep as he commanded his soldiers to haul families out in the night, dispatching them at random borders with no cares for the creatures that lurked with a taste for fae flesh.

“I’m aware, Gus. No sudden movements, no flashy shows of skill, Mother forbid I reveal I’m not some worthless foreigner with no talent.” You mocked mirthlessly, earning a sigh of defeat. 

“Wait a moment.” He roused, and the fingers that curled around your bag strap tightened slightly, your pointed ears twitching at the tone of his voice. But you slowly turned, a scowl on your unimpressed face as you nodded airly.

“You were selected personally to perform for the Vanserra family. Something about honouring the magic in the Autumn Court territory with dance and such.”

You paused, mind blanking, yet your demeanour remained even, “And you’re looking at me like that, why?”

He winced, knowing how keen you were to snap at any male- or anyone, really, who rubbed you up the wrong way.

“They left a list of… expectations. As in, mandatory requirements or they won’t let you perform. They expect you to be… um… Be polite, and uh, as he put it, ‘socially acceptable’. Speak in turn and only when spoken to-”

“He?” You snapped, visibly unimpressed and ready to pull out completely. What kind of prick-

“I don’t let you anywhere near me on a good day, Gustav. What in the Cauldron makes you think I’ll just-”

“They’re offering coffers of gold. The Equinox… well, after Amarantha… they need to regenerate the magic of the Autumn Court specifically, so they want to use the Equinox.”

You cringed at the mention of that sick tyrant, yet you weren’t going to just roll over and lie down because someone jingled a purse of gold. “What of the Spring Court and Calanmai?”

“I didn’t ask, because I know my place. And don’t start. I didn’t exactly feel like getting ripped a new one by the son of the Autumn Lord, [Y/N]-”

“Son? As in, Eris Vanserra? That oaf- that misogynistic, foul-mouthed, mentally decayed pig was here? And he spoke to you about me?” You snarled, lip curling back as you advanced forward slowly like a fox- a wolf, eyes narrowed.

“He’s offering coffers on behalf of his father, [Y/N]! Enough for you to be paid out well, and then some for the studio.” Damn right he put you first on the pay list, otherwise he wouldn’t have a damned head. Though, you personally couldn’t give a flying fuck about the Vanserra coffers. You wanted nothing of it, as tempting as it might have sounded.

“Get Nerissa to do it.”

“He wanted you-”

“I thought the family wanted me.”

“I… oh, fuck it- Fine! Eris came here alone! Came here alone, saw you, insisted on you with this list in mind and he said either you or no one at all.”

You or no one. You or nothing. You made a retch of disgust, laughing at the mental image. Who did he think he was? “Then I will snap my leg in half and shatter my bones into teeny tiny pieces for good measure.”

“[Y/N]-”

“I will swan dive off the nearest staircase.”

“No.”

“I’m not performing personally for a good-for-nothing family that are backwards in everything they do.” You reaffirmed, shaking your head, but Gustav stepped forward.

“[Y/N].”

“They singled out the non-Autumn Court dancer to perform for them. What powers do I possess to help the court that doesn’t even want us? A ‘summery breeze’? A ‘foreigner’s’ complexion? Absolutely not-”

“Please. We…” Silence, before a sigh. A sigh that made you glare silently. “I received a letter last night from the building owner. I’ve been falling behind on payments, and Beron’s financiers are… hungry- they see this old building and want to knock it down for something else. Something miserable and drab.”

You frowned, blinking at your instructor. Well, fuck. Your shared silence was long- his pleading, hopeful silence swirled like smoke with your prideful refusal, that melted like wax the longer it lingered.

“... Fine. But only because I enjoy this damned studio.”

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

Your life was, what you thought at least, a mixed bag. You were brought up in an orphanage- housing mostly Autumn children, all who seemed to smell the ‘impostor’ blood in your bones, weeding you out as an odd one out. Your appearance led the governess of the orphanage to believe you hailed from the Summer Court- as did russet and teal muslin you were wrapped in. You repurposed the seemingly sentimental piece of fabric into a scarf- letting it rest around your neck currently, as you walked down the path of the bustling town.

You were lucky to be recognised for your artistic performative abilities, earning a grant to allow you to perform in the Autumn Court’s national dance academy, as well as live in one the apartments they provided. Two old ladies next door adopted you as their honorary daughter, and you were grateful for their familial company, even if there was no blood relation. One of them, Ordelia, even pushed you to study at the grand scholar’s library, using her former connections to grant you access to all the education you could need.

It wasn’t wonderful. But it could be worse. At least you were making it on your own, sort of.

“Afternoon little doe! Will you come for dinner? Delia-dearest made pumpkin and feta soup the way you like it!” ‘Madame’ Primrose, one of your makeshift mothers, waved to you from her balcony, and you offered a small wave.

“Not tonight, I’m afraid. I’m on a strict diet of greens and grains.” You pat your stomach with a sympathetic wince- greens and grains. Like a bloody farm animal. The silver haired fae seemed to nod sympathetically and wave a hand.

“You’re always welcome, dearie.” 

You stopped for a moment, looking at an old fae sitting on the corner of the little road, a vendor selling flowers. The sun was dipping behind the horizon, staining the sky pink amidst the grey from the overcast weather that settled. You smiled at the older male who offered you a bouquet of lavender stalks and crocus bulbs.

Pretty.

Your eyes widened slightly as you beheld the bouquet, cradling it against your arm while you fished out payment. As you dropped some coins into his hand, a scream made you both look to one of the older complexes, where a woman was pulled out by some Autumn Court guards with two wailing children behind her. Any passersby walked quicker, ducking their heads, and when you looked back at the old male you realised he had been watching you. He gave you a nod, as if you’d know what it meant, and you swallowed before walking past, your head lower than before.

Beauty was hard to come by in the Autumn court, no matter how colourful it looked.

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

“Oh, it’s nasty business, it really is. My darling Ordelia was telling me how shameful he is- that Beron Vanserra. Nasty business. I remember his father- he wasn’t much better, but certainly more handsome.” You had succumbed to the dinner with your neighbour-mothers, though your portion of soup was smaller, as the sprouts and stalks you miserably chewed filled most of your stomach.

“You know, I could have married Beron.”

Your eyes widened, hand shooting up to cover your mouth as you didn't know whether to choke or chortle. “Primrose!” Ordelia huffed,

“I could have, you know! But I wasn’t interested in a man with no morals.” ‘Madame’ Primrose sighed wistfully, and you laughed softly behind your mouth while her wife rolled her eyes. While Ordelia had raven hair in a tight, disciplined bun, Primrose wore hers in a loose braid that cosied on her shoulder- her silver hair glistening in the gentle faelight of the small dining room you all sat in.

“You know, I hear that Lord Vanserra is looking for some pretty girls to match his sons. The heir will be attending the Equinox alone, can you believe it?” Primrose hummed, thriving off the gossip, but Ordelia watched you with a knowing stare- amused at the soft snort you let out.

“How fares the paper? Arwen mentioned that you were hitting some brilliant points. Politics might be your strong suit, should you grow tired of glamorous costumes and fast dances.” The Autumn-born female brought up your most recent studies, a ghost of a smile on her lips as she heard her wife scoff.

At a first glance, you used to wonder how they could possibly be mated. Ordelia, with her firm, reserved rigidness and disciplined personality, and Primrose- a Spring Court fae who was gossipy and eclectic, always buzzing with something to share. Ordelia was a former scholar for Beron’s family before she retired, while Primrose was the prima ballerina of her time, moving to Autumn in search of a grander role where she met her mate. Their love-story made you sigh a little every time you heard it, but you shook your head of distractions as you answered Ordelia.

“It’s um… definitely going. I feel a little foolish writing it but every time I hear about another family getting kicked out, I get even angrier, and determined to write more. Although… um, Gustav spoke to me about… performing a solo dance for the Vanserras. A part of the Equinox celebration-”

Primrose gaped at that, as if she had been asked to dance herself, “Oh, little dove! Well, what did you say? You worked for that position- I’ll tell you that for free! I can’t fit on my fingers the times I had to remedy your torn muscles. Did you say yes? Did you accept?” 

Ordelia nodded, taking a thoughtful sip of her soup before chuckling softly. “I would not be surprised if your radiance catches the heir’s eye. You’d be a different splash compared to the other dames he usually parades around on his arm. I think you’d certainly give him a run for his father’s money.”

“Ordelia dearest! What makes you think our little summer shell would even consider him?” Primrose voiced the disdain etched on your face, and you joked dryly, “I didn’t think you believed in fate and whatnot.” The Autumn female scoffed softly, shaking her head, “I don’t believe in fate, or destiny. I believe in the laws of attraction. You are everything his family lack, thus making you a match. Opposites attract.” You glanced at Primrose, and both of you made a childish noise of disgust as you shuddered, shaking your head as you finished off your meal.

“I’d rather have a kelpie as a bedside companion than Eris Vanserra.” You muttered, before taking all three plates to be cleaned. Laughter sounded softly behind you, and as you felt a small smile curl on your face, you abhorred the idea of being anywhere near the Lord of the Autumn Court and his family.

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

After bidding your goodnights, you retired to your own apartment, basking happily in the moonlight that shone through the silent space. Peace and quiet. The best way to finish off a bleak day. Your calendar stared you in the face, the Equinox marked in an angry scribble of orange ink. ‘End of the week!!’

What a day. You rubbed your face, feeling a stirring in your stomach as you thought about the Autumn Court. You glanced at the daily paper slid under your door, seeing Eris’ face on the front page- his smug, arrogant, wicked, slightly crooked, unnecessarily charming grin staring you in the face, making your stomach tug. ‘Eugh. Imagine being fated to that beast?’ You’d rather eat glass.

You looked at the paper, baring your teeth at the male’s face before ripping it off and crumpling it up. A swift kick sent it across the small apartment, under your couch, and stayed there for a while as you grumbled softly. You got ready for bed eagerly, excited for the day to be over, only to reach under the small sofa it had rolled under and pick it up again, making a face at it before leaving it on the small table.

╰┈➤ Lex's note 2: i think that's all for now!! readers, pls let me know how we feel about this!!! (privately, in comments, on inbox, i don't mind)!! also in search for a beta reader [i draft everything on google docs, don't hurt me] (T-T)

#lexluvswriting #lex luvs eris vanserra #lexluvswriting: L'autunno #eris vanserra x reader #eris x reader #eris vanserra #eris fic #eris acotar #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #x reader #x reader fic #acotar x reader #acotar x fem!reader

[15-lizards]

GENDER SWAP RENLY AND STANNIS OUTFITS PLEASSSS. And maybe Robert too

SISTERLY DYSFUNCTION WE LOVEEEEE even tho the character of Robert is kinda tricky bc his character is rooted in his manhood but fuck it we ball maybe we can just make Westeros a matriarchy #Feminism

Fem Roberta (definitely named Roberta) (also the middle Katie McGrath pic is the fc) is the kinda the biggest lesbian bait ever. Non-dutiful eldest daughter set to inherit storms end but she does NAWT give a shit she wants to go play around in the Vale with fem Ned and drink and whore etc etc. Rides and fights like a man and even wears men’s armor but still dresses and (sometimes) acts like a noble lady when the situation calls for it. She’s not a tomboy who chafes at nobility she’s a rowdy noble girl who LOVES her status she loves excess. Charismatic girl who managed to get men to follow her into war to get back Fem Ned’s little brother even though she loves him like a prize. And she loves the idea of being connected to Ned more than that. But other than her homoerotic obsession with her best friend and she is totally and completely heterosexual 👍🏻

Fem Stannis (Stana? Castana?) is kinda so Eva Green do we see the vision people. She’s a flop daughter who dresses like a utilitarian, very little room in her looks for comfort. Internalized misogyny for days bc she thinks if she were a son she could be so much better than her sister is. She’s kinda like if Cersei slayed a little less. When Roberta dies she can’t garner any support bc even though they were both women, her elder sister was always more persuasive and well liked, which is half the reason she became queen. So now she’s behind her bastard nephew and nieces who aren’t even related to her in the line of succession (let’s pretend masc Cersei and fem Jamie swapped the kids or smthn idk 😭). And her new red witch is not doing favors for the people who think magic = dark and womanly and evil. She’s such a flop and gay for the older pirate lady who saved her life and she can never do anything right ily girl

And Fem Renly/Rena/Renia is kinda the baddest bitch in the seven kingdoms. She’s even prettier than Roberta was at her age, and just as charismatic, and far more agreeable, acting more like a “proper” lady. Though she rides as well as her eldest sister, and even took up the sword too, wanting to be a warrior queen when she was little. Her fits always go crazy, a fourth of the treasury at storms end is set aside for her favorite green enameling and gold accessories. She’s kinda the star of court and thinks Roberta has gotten lazy and Stana has too much of a stick up her ass to be a good queen. Ofc in true Baratheon fashion she has a gay who worships her like a god, her trusted lady-knight Lora Tyrell, who gives her the support of her house before she unfortunately gets merked. Rip queen I wish you could’ve been mean on the internet

#asoiaf #lesbian Baratheons my beloved #Stannis was already a lesbian without gender bending him but that’s neither here nor there

[spaceysoupy]

So apparently it’s that time of year again where I have to post about this.

On lesbianism, white queerness, and 2S identity

Text below readmore

I am a two-spirit. My identity is specific to my Tribe and Clan, and even more specific to my family. I am not a man, I am not a woman, and I am not nonbinary; I am not defined by what I am not.

I am a two-spirit and I am a lesbian. That's not debatable.

But I am not a non-man.

There's an idea of two-spirits that we are just the ethnic version of non-binary

We're not. The reason you're so comfortable calling us nonbinary is because your idea of queerness is centered around the binary&what you are not: you're not cishet, you're not the oppressor, etc

White queers like to speak about 2S identities constantly as if we are monolith. "It's just a gender" "it's not a gender"

"they're not trans" "they're not queer" "they don't belong here"

The community tries to decide for the individual and that's so weird to me.

So much of white queerness is inherently about exclusion.

You need strict labels to exclude the people you fear. You write your definitions around your fear of intruders and by consequence you exclude the people that need your support the most.

You need people to "prove" they are queer before you let them in. You're like a fortress and you let vulnerable people drown in the moat; ignoring that the real oppressors don't need to be a Trojan horse to do damage, ignoring they are actively burning down the castle.

It's very sad to me, because it's ultimately tearing the community apart even further.

I've never felt very welcome in white lesbian circles and they've never understood my experience of gender, but it's gotten worse in the past 5 or so years.

As TERFs start to revive gold star lesbianism and center hatred of men as their definition of lesbianism, you start to get these younger lesbians that don't know history that start to parrot the rhetoric. First it's "non-men loving non-men" then it's "you're too close to Man™"

For many two-spirit lesbians like myself, this is very concerning. White lesbians are historically not the ones targeted by radfems.

Now we've gotten to the point that there are people denying that lesbian is an spec (multispec) identity while including (white) nonbinary people

White nonbinary people (usually AFAB nonbinary people) are seen as woman lite and are welcome in white lesbian spaces while queer Indigenous people are considered dangerous because white lesbians can't understand their gender.

When did understanding become a requirement?

We're getting very dangerously close to "lesbianism is ONLY attraction to women" and very close to "lesbianism is only attraction to *a very specific type of (white) woman*" and I really need young white lesbians to read about political lesbianism so they can see this

I don't want to hear "not all lesbians" or "well then they aren't welcome" because every time this rhetoric goes unchallenged you are actively welcoming these people to continue it and make it more and more extreme. Yes, even the kind that seems to have nothing to do with racism

Almost all of your exclusionary rhetoric is based on the racist ideas of political lesbianism and I do not know why you all cannot see that they want to move goalposts. It wasn't just bi lesbians, it wasn't just he/him lesbians, it wasn't just nonbinary lesbians. It's a tactic.

It really feels like young lesbians are not only letting us go backwards, but encouraging it. And that's thanks in part to the historical racism of political lesbianism, but many of these people ARE old enough to think critically and talk to people who've been through this.

So far I've seen this in younger lesbian spaces; the ones with older generations (the ones that don't welcome TERFs) have been pretty welcoming even if not totally understanding, because they at least recognize that you don't need to understand someone's experience to validate it.

But I'm really concerned for the young Indigenous lesbians who don't feel comfortable around older people and are going to these younger lesbian spaces only to be indoctrinated with thinly veiled TERF rhetoric. It makes me very concerned for our spaces as well.

So I'll say again

I am not a non-man and I am not a non-woman. I'm not defined by what I am not. I do not ascribe to your binary-centric definitions of queerness. I experience queer attraction to women. I'm a lesbian. You do not get to use community to decide my individuality.

Thread by ~Alitsanosga

Pronouns: hi'a/vsgina/utseli/uwasa

#two spirit #two-spirit #2slgbtqia+ #2 spirit #lesbian #white queers #white queerness #racism #colonialism #political lesbianism #inclusion is survival #indigeneity #indigenous rights

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

Why do you think non-radfem bi women are so obsessed with calling themselves lesbians? While radfem polilez are annoying, i can logically understand where they're coming from, with there belief that lesbian label would magically shield them from men and patriarchy. But all those women who aren't feminists and don't have past trauma with men? Who are open and unapologetic manlovers, who admit they never stopped liking men, just discovered they liked women more, who have "exception" boyfriends/husbands, who regularly seek casual sex with men? I don't know what to make of them. Why is it so hard to call yourself bi?

Hi anon!

It's not that it's hard for them to call themselves bi, a lot of bi people genuinely believe that everyone is bisexual so, to them, lesbianism is just bisexual with a preference for women.

I used to hang out with a bunch of bi women, one of them had told me she was a lesbian for a year or so when she revealed to me that she regularly hooked up with men. She has a popular excuse among fakebians: she only has sex with men when she's ovulating, nature wants her to get pregnant and she can't resist that! I literally had to explain to her that, when lesbians ovulate, it doesn't make us want to have sex with men. If it makes us hornier, it's still for women. That's when she finally admitted that she was bi!

Another reason I hate is that bi women keep saying, even in 2024 "I just call myself a lesbian because saying I'm bisexual is too complicated". Everyone knows what bisexuality is!! If anything, it's way more confusing to say you're a lesbian with comphet/a bunch of exceptions... I thought I was bi with a preference for women for three years, I never had any difficulty saying it and no one ever told me that they didn't know what it was.

Finally, a reason that's more sinister for why non-polilez bi women with no trauma call themselves lesbians... is to date/have sex with les4les lesbians. In a French podcast I listened to recently, a fakebian's advice to younger LBQ women was to shamelessly lie about your sexuality in order to have sex with lesbians: the woman prefers gold stars? She wouldn't mention her ex-boyfriends. The woman is ok with bi women but doesn't want to be someone's first experience with a woman? She made up an ex-girlfriend. As long as bi women don't call out the predatory women in their community, we're still going to have a lot of fakebians.

[justcantquinn]

"lesbian isn't non-men attracted to non-men, it's women attracted to women"

saw this take earlier. of all the gatekeeping bullshit...

okay, let's play a super quick game:

you're a lesbian. you watch a movie starring janelle monae. you fall in love with her. she's so beautiful, so talented. you're attracted to her physically and attracted to her personality.

then you find out janelle monae is non-binary.

uh oh! are you no longer a lesbian?

"well, once i found out she isn't a woman, i would no longer be attracted to her!"

really? are you sure?

"it's about her gender. i might find her attractive in other ways, but i wouldn't find her attractive overall because of her gender."

really?

okay, well, let's say you find her physically attractive still but aren't attracted overall because of her gender. fair enough, right?

then are women who are physically attracted to men but don't romantically or sexually pursue men still lesbians? a little bit of chest hair action gets 'em hot and heavy, but they'd never pursue that.

no? yes? why does this standard apply to non-binary people but not men?

if "yes," let's also assume a woman HAS slept with men in the past. or dated them! and still finds them physically attractive, but just not attractive overall because of their gender. is she a lesbian?

are you really going to sit here and tell me that if a lesbian woman had a partner for ten or twenty years who suddenly started using she/they pronouns that she's no longer a lesbian, even if she and her partner still use that label for themselves?

can the partner still call themselves a lesbian? would you dare to challenge them on that? really?

if no, if the partner can still call themselves a lesbian in this scenario, then what's the difference between this non-binary person calling themselves a lesbian and any other non-binary person calling themselves a lesbian? is it because this other non-binary person is amab and presents masc? hmm? what if they were afab and presented masc? what if they were afab, presented masc, and were on hrt? what if they were amab, presented masc, but were on feminizing hrt? it kinda feels like maybe you don't ACTUALLY think non-binary people are actually non-binary...

disallowing women attracted to non-binary people from calling themselves lesbian is a slippery slope that ends in transphobia, sex essentialism, and the erasing on non-binary identities.

disallowing non-binary people from calling themselves lesbian is the same slippery slope.

"that's because non-binary people aren't real! being trans is fake! etc."

firstly, ew. secondly...

you're a lesbian. you see a woman across the bar. she's gorgeous. drop dead. you take her home. you spend the night together. you begin seeing each other.

you find out a few weeks later that she's trans. post surgery, post hrt.

are you no longer a lesbian for being sexually attracted to her? are you no longer a lesbian for being emotionally attracted to her?

you meet a woman. she's with her husband. big, burly, bearded dude. absolute hunk of a man.

she calls herself a lesbian.

'what? huh? no you're not. you're married to a man.'

'yeah, but he's a TRANS man. so. yk.'

is she a lesbian? the only other people she's ever slept with have been women.

stop trying to over-define the term. stop trying to box people in. if people want to identify with the community, let them. seriously. just let them. we'll deal with the people using the label in bad faith as they come up.

"but i want a place to feel safe! i want a place full of people who are going to identify with me and relate to me! i want a community of people who face the same problems as i do!"

yeah. we all do. we do. all the people you're trying to keep out certainly do. but even if we do restrict membership to people who fit your criteria, they're not all gonna experience the same stuff as you. you're gonna run into gold star lesbians and lesbians who had only dated men prior to coming out. you're gonna meet asexual lesbians, demisexual lesbians, hypersexual lesbians. you're gonna meet drag kings and high femmes. you're gonna meet girls who pass as straight, maybe are even still in the closet, and girls who came out of the closet at five and are so butch they pass as a guy without even trying. you're gonna meet lesbians with so much trauma around being queer they can barely make it through the day and lesbians who had the good fortune to barely, if ever, face any oppression. there's always gonna be people in our community whose experiences feel alien to you. there's always gonna be people who you don't share much common ground with at all. there's always gonna be people who don't fit in with your idea of the culture. there's always gonna be people who make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe.

the queer community is not invite only. our labels don't and can't have rigid definitions. gender is a spectrum and where we lie on that spectrum may change. sexuality is a spectrum and where we lie on that spectrum may change. we're always going to be in motion, even if you don't want to be. even if that idea scares you.

you do have a community. you do have safe people and safe spaces. there are people who get you. just relax. you're going to be okay.

#tw transphobes #tw transfobia #tw sexism #tw homophobia #tw surgery mention #lesbian #lesbianism #sapphic #wlw #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #queer community #pansexual #bisexual #asexual

[sexygaywizard]

I've been seeing a lot of posts going around lately about how lesbianism needs to be more heavily policed, if you feel in any way discriminated against by other lesbians it's because you're not actually a real lesbian, you're lesbophobic, etc etc, and I really am fucking tired of it I have to be honest. You are not lesbophobic for being a complicated human being. I thought we were fucking aware by now that heavily policing lesbian identities was never cute, we had it with the fucking gold star lesbian bullshit, with the fucking political lesbian bullshit, etc etc. If you are so woke to the idea that society pressures women to be sexually attracted to men, why are you not woke to the idea that that can affect someone's psyche and how they perceive their own sexuality? Sexuality is complicated, gender is complicated, and idk why y'all are incapable of believing that can make identifying as any strict label complicated?? Acting like people haven't had it out for non-binary lesbians, for trans lesbians, for lesbians who used to id as bi and vice versa, for literally everyone who doesn't fit the cis gold star lesbian attracted to other cis gold star lesbian mold, and every time I see one of these posts I have to always check the notes for terfs because you are literally spouting off the same shit as them word for goddamn word. I was in an abusive relationship with a man for 3.5 years and identified as bisexual, and then after I got out of that relationship, I lost interest in men/realized I never had any (??? SHIT IS COMPLICATED), I haven't been with a man in 5 years but I still feel like I need to be paranoid about labeling myself as a lesbian and I can't talk about my past because sometimes I'm not sure if I still feel attraction to men and it's just suppressed because of trauma, or if I only think that I'm feeling attraction to men because of heteronormativity, etc and it's scary to even mention right now bc y'all are literally incapable of acknowledging that sexuality is complicated sometimes?? Like legit! If you are woke to heteronormativity how can you not understand that makes shit complicated. I know 40 year old lesbians who had threesomes with a man and it doesn't matter to them because they know who they are and what they are about. Also, other queer people using labels that make themselves feel comfortable is not somehow discrimination against you. Other queer people are not your fucking enemies and you need to stop treating them like your enemies, because it is not cute. You are not protecting lesbianism, you are just making people with complex and nuanced experiences feel unsafe. Get some fucking solidarity. I am tired. I am tired.

#if somebody tells me i have to identify as bisexual because of complicated and unclear feelings i keep to myself #im stealing something out your house!! #why tf is anybody's identity any of your goddamn business anyways jesus christ #just let people be themselves holy fuck. it literally does not hurt you #honestly preparing myself for hate over this but i just feel like its important to say #bc i know how negatively this affects people who dont fit the pristine cookie cutter idea of a label #but like bitch most people don't. life is complicated. #i talk

[redheadbigshoes]

I’ve talked a lot about lesbophobia coming from non-lesbian LGBTQ+ people, but we need to talk more about how the lesbian community invalidates their own people.

Lesbians using terms like “gold star lesbian” and acting as if they’re better just because they’ve never been with men before figuring out their sexuality.

Cis lesbians invalidating trans lesbians.

Allo lesbians invalidating aro/ace lesbians.

Lesbians treating trans men as if they were women and including them in lesbianism.

Lesbians being “comphet criticals” and not accepting society has a huge impact on your sexuality and how it can confuse you to understand if what you feel is genuine or is just what you were taught to be.

#stephanie talks #lgbt #lgbtqia #lesbian #lesbian pride

[willalove75]

the way you CLAPPED back at that person >>>

honestly though.. where did they find the bloody audacity - and to do it anonymously too?!?

the audacity to say that a bisexual has no right to be in the community if they are/have been with men is actually absurd. are we going to start excluding every lesbian, bisexual etc who’s ever had a male relationship in the past now?!

like god fucking forbid a bisexual writes fan wIw fiction and has a husband?!? (i think it's epic your husband supports u btw) and idk where i’d be without your wlw writinggggg

in the most non respectful way possible i hope they get what's coming to them because that's the most conservative (capital c) shit i've read in a while. some people need to take the stick out their arse and feel the breeze up there just for a damn reality check

and in my honest opinion lady d would probs devour a woman who’s had previous male relationships just to prove that she's better

Hahahah thank you so much!!!💕💕

Right?! Like if you're gonna be so loud with such a horrible opinion, at least have the balls and not hide behind the anon button!

And that's what I'm saying!! Like if you're reallyyyy gonna go there the only members that they'll consider to be "valid" LGBTQ+ at the end of the day are the gold star gays and lesbians and that's wrong both morally and literally on so many different levels I can't even begin to count.

Who someone has been with, dates or marries should (and at the end of the day does, thankfully) have absolutely NO bearing on what fics they write!! Because that truthfully doesn't matter!! And thank you! It continues to amaze me that I was lucky enough to marry someone who is so incredibly supportive, especially because there are definitely guys who would feel threatened or something by their wives writing stuff like that. (They shouldn't, but it does happen) And I'm so grateful to have his support all the time💕

Hahah thank youuuu!!! It really means so much when people say how much they enjoy what I write. It definitely helps give me the confidence to keep going!

But me too!!! Honestly if they didn't mention the "lesbian/sapphic spaces" part I would almost be convinced that a straight dude wrote it to be a mega troll bc that's 100% the kind of energy it gives off. Conservative (with a capital C) is SO ACCURATE! (Also, I haven't heard the term "knocked up" be used that much since like, 2007 LOL)

NO BUT YOU'RE SO RIGHT LMAOOOO she would 100% be like "a man thing? Really? Let me show you what real pleasure is supposed to feel like" and fucking GO TO TOWN😂😂😂

#willalove75 #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu