#one day i will no longer connect everything to them but eh

[sxnbleachedfiles]

guys im going crazy what do u mean merlin is still waiting for arthur to come back…. and why my first thought went to THIS

#clown hat on #one day i will no longer connect everything to them but eh #not today clearly #dont care if im grasping at straws #i said this for me and the voices in my head #the dark artifices #kit herondale #the wicked powers #shadowhunters #tda #twp #tsc #ty blackthorn #the shadowhunter chronicles

[awoogayanderes]

chapter three : knowing the dead

➪ sypnosis : taking care of an old man everyday forces you to create a connection with him

➪ other notes : this chapter still doesn’t contain dazai but i really want this to be like a slowburn ?? i know that’s not the right term BUT I WANNA TAKE MY TIME WITH THIS STORY, like i want y/n to actually have relationships with other people, not just dazai yk ?

➪ warnings : from this point foward, y/n will be classified as a girl ?? but i’ll try my best to not use pronouns as much, i apologize for those i’ve caused an inconvenience, THE OLD PM BOSS IS VERY OOC !!!!

➪ prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

two weeks had passed since your dinner with mori, he wasn’t lying about working for the port mafia leader. “who is that,” the old man pointed at you, coughing. “ah this is my daughter,” mori says, gripping your shoulders from behind, a way to tell you to play along with his words. “i’m y/n, sir, i’m here to serve and protect your health as best as i can,” it was something you had rehearsed with mori for days.

the first day you took care of the old man was just getting to know his likes and dislikes, what he needed and what he didn’t need. on the second day, you started learning his routine, from the time he wakes up to every time he needs to go to the restroom. the third day was the hardest, he started throwing tantrums. perhaps it was the fact that you had to be his 24/7 nurse, giving him no alone time.

by the end of the first week, the boss had threatened you 38 times. you weren’t affected by them, knowing that they were empty threats. you almost felt pity for him, if it weren’t for the fact that he has created havoc for everyone. by the end of the second week, the old man grew quiet, he didn’t complain when you washed him with a rag or when you took his blood for testing.

mori told you not to form any type of relationship with him, you imagined it was so you wouldn’t go against his previous plan. by the end of the month, the boss was still quiet. going against the doctor’s orders, you started a conversation. “sir, is everything okay ?” you asked, changing the cold cloth on his head. “how much longer do i have,” he quietly asks.

that was the first time he spoke with calmness, like the two of you were equals. “eh ?” you confusingly asked. “how much time do i have until i die,” the old man raised his voice louder, frustrated you didn’t understand him. you stayed quiet, did he actually deserve to know his remaining time left alive ? “i don’t know,” you calmly said. “you don’t fear lying to the most dangerous man in yokohama,”

as he said that, you sighed. he wouldn’t allow that answer, he wanted the truth. “five months at most, that is if i continue to care for you and with the doctor checking up on you every week,” you told him. even if he was an evil man, there was a part of you that softened when you saw his slightly widened eyes for a split second. “what an interesting child you are,” he says before slowly turning around in bed.

by the end of the second month, the old man started accepted your daily care. he started to speak more, most of it was him rambling about the medical practices you did and how it wasn’t like this when he was younger. you wondered if he spoke like this because he didn’t have much time left, and you were the only one who was forced to listen to him.

every wednesday and sunday, mori would come in and check up on the boss’s status. “is that man really your father ?” the old man asks when the doctor leaves the room after a checkup. “huh ? oh, um yes,” you say, being caught off guard. “then who is your mother ?” he asks. you didn’t expect him to ask anything about yourself, mori didn’t plan this out with you.

“i don’t know,” you say, despite it being technically true…it managed to make you nervous. “hmm,” the old man hummed, thankfully you were busy doing something so he wouldn’t be able to see your face. “did you have any children sir,” you ask, changing the conversation. “i suppose it wouldn’t hurt telling you, yes, i had a daughter,” the boss says, coughing into a cloth you gave him.

you knew he told you because no one would believe you if you ever told anyone, they wouldn’t believe a 13 year old speaking about the port mafia. “you remind me of her,” the old man suddenly says. you couldn’t help but smile, even if it was a cruel man saying this. “where is she now ?” you ask. “dead,” the boss responds. “she was always hiding something, like you currently are,” your eyes lock.

for the few seconds you interlocked eyes, you looked into his soul. there was pure turmoil and anger. was it really okay to kill ? was it really okay to kill someone who deserved it even if they have a past they didn’t speak about ? was it okay to follow someone’s orders just because they’ve kept you alive ? was it actually okay for you to know that mori would kill the boss, whilst also caring for him ?

#written by terra #sincerely terra #bsd #bsd manga #bungou stray dogs #bsd manga spoilers #bsd x reader #bsd anime #bsd spoilers #bsd mori #dazai bsd #bsd port mafia #bsd mori ougai #bsd fic #port mafia #port mafia angst #i hate how ooc pm boss is

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

all the normal people create lore for side characters that turn up for one event and didn't even get a live2D model. anyways, Hibiki Miyake headcanons!!

firstly: this is the main silly headcanon, that he and Kohane are related, cousins probably- same demeanour, same vibes, same creatureness, similar face. bad eyesight runs in the family too

he lives with Kohane's family because he's orphaned. his mother and her father were siblings

he looks up to Kohane's dad a lot and does a bit of photography too, not as much as the rest of his family though

he's not much taller than Kohane so people always mistake him to be her little brother even though he's a year older

silly coincidence, he has the exact same birthday as Kohane, 2nd of March, just a year before

extremely ironically, he has a phobia of snakes so he avoids being in the same room as Count Pearl at all costs. once, she ended up in his room and he immediately collapsed, then upon waking up, he found that the snake had slithered on him and fainted again. Kohane was apologising for weeks

he lets Kohane drag him along to her visits at PXL, however, he often ends up running into Rui who very sneakily gets him caught up in a conversation and steals him away to watch W x S rehearse. he accidentally ditches her zskcqascngoepsexmpwqeq (shhh it's okay, Kohane can just call An who'll run across the city to accompany her in two minutes)

he's scared of the other VBS members xsidtfncerjitweorspjwpw

speaking of VBS, he wants to support his cousin, but he's too sensitive to noise and crowds to watch their events in person himself, but he still buys tickets and gives them to his friends

he's always telling Kohane about everything that goes down in Kamikou. this disappoints An because Kohane already knows all the drama before she gets a chance to tell her xjkudiguvoirentjepw

An: "Kohaneeeeee, you'll never guess what i caught Kamishiro-senpai doing today!!"

Kohane: "oh, i've heard!! he was disassembling a mean teacher's desk, wasn't he? :)"

An: "HOW DID YOU KNOW??"

Kohane: "i have connections, An-chan :)"

VBS didn't know that Kohane had a cousin at Kamikou for agessssssss

she wanted to introduce them, especially because they all go to the same school. but that was exactly why Miyake wanted to avoid that because of the anxiety and awkwardness of seeing people you know from school outside of school

VBS found out one day when they saw Rui in town and Kohane was going to go say hi (interaction idea from @slightlytoastedbagel )

Akito: "yo, Kohane, you want to stay away from that guy, he's proper odd"

Kohane: "... eh? Kamishiro-san is one of my cousin's best friends though??"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

Toya, who just knows everything: "oh yes, you're related to Miyake-senpai, right Azusawa? :)"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

he initially went to the same "elite" high school that Rui did in his first year, but left way before him, only a couple of months in, because he was getting bullied

it was said in the last chapter of Pandemonium that he wanted to be friends with Rui but took ages to reach out to him because Rui was always invested in his drones and seemed disinterested in everything else

for this reason, i feel like he regrets not finding the courage to befriend him sooner now that they're no longer in the same class

he goes shopping with Rui, Taniyama and Hayashi on weekends, they're all interested in computers and such

he and Taniyama are both a bit jel that Hayashi got to be in the same class as Rui and Tsukasa for third year

Rui just goes around visiting all his friends who are in different classes (ahem, Nene) and Miyake's always very happy upon seeing his purple friend being silly outside his classroom's window (and then his teacher shoos him away for being distracting)

he's asexual and panromantic

has severe social anxiety and is on the spectrum but undiagnosed (he went under the radar his whole life because he's "quiet") his special interest in technology was why he felt drawn to Rui. autism to autism communication

#ace's random thoughts :) #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #proseka #pjsekai #hibiki miyake #kohane azusawa #kohane project sekai #kohane pjsk #rui kamishiro #rui project sekai #rui pjsk #an shiraishi #an project sekai #an pjsk #akito shinonome #toya aoyagi

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Horizon (Chapter 5)

series masterlist

faerieprince!san x oc

royal/fantasy au, soulmate au

chapter wc: ~18k

chapter warnings: fluff, angst, tragedy, violence warnings, mention of death/su!cide, past traumas, atz interactions, suggestive

chapter synopsis: yeosang manages to contact neve and together with gaeul, yena, yunho and mingi, they open a portal to another world and find out what those monster-like creatures are and why they kidnapped not only faeries but darklings as well. they get answers that connect everything from the beginning to the end. gaeul must come to a decision and finds herself in a dilemma- she can either return her magic to her original state or save her soulmate bond with san who loves her anyway.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (couldn't have seen it to the end without her :') <3 )

[Day 132 in other dimension/132 hours and 47 minutes in Mirinae]:

Yeosang was not having fun moving around in his dimension as a spirit.

As the Prince of Space who ruled over the dimension, he had an unquestionable authority over all those who dwelled in the bridge of a dimension between life and death. With his soul intact in his body, that perhaps rendered him a force to be reckoned with.

But as a spirit just like the others? He was certainly not enjoying the lack of said authority. 

Now that he felt like any other soul in that dimension, most dismissed him as background. Those who did not either went after him or spread word around, which was worse- there was always a spirit a little unhinged that dared to try something with him. Thankfully, his loyal friends in that dimension were sticking with him- at the price of a few favours.

“I’m just sayin’, eh?” One of them said- a boy who might still be in his teens, though he looked older- or perhaps, his long stay here was making him look older. “You can’t be away from your body too long. It’s funny business, tryna find a darkling in ‘ere. Like finding a needle in a stack.”

“We’ve found one before,” Yeosang, who was walking aimlessly along with his two partners, said. “We can find one again.”

“It’s quite a long shot, though,” the other soul- older than Yeosang, said. “I’ve a better chance trying to remember my name.”

Yeosang casted him a glance- these two were one of the few who had stayed in this dimension long enough to forget their names but still hadn’t gone insane. They gave up on moving on, instead deciding to serve Yeosang from here with a promise that they could be a part of his court in this dimension and do his bidding for him. Yeosang was pretty sure the idea of freedom in this dimension appealed to them much more than actually serving the prince, but as long as they were sane, he wasn’t going to let them go. 

“And you’re only getting weaker the longer you stay away from your body-”

“I’m not, actually,” Yeosang smirked at the boy. “Since my body is not home.”

“Oh,” the boy nodded slowly. “Does that mean you’re staying for long?”

“I’m only here to find a darkling, and if I have to open up a door to another dimension here, so be it. I’ve had enough of simply waiting.”

“But, sir,” the older one said. “That’s dangerous- if the balance gets shifted, this dimension could fold in on itself.”

“Yeah? Maybe it’s time I got rid of you lot…” Yeosang tsk-ed.

“Ay, you don’t mean that,” the boy poked Yeosang in his arm and Yeosang actually paused to look at him and let his careless action sink in. However, he shamelessly continued. “If it weren’t for us, some darkling monster would have gotten your arse-”

“And that’s your cue to shut up if you don’t want to meet my new friend Gaeul,” Yeosang said and the two straightened. “Funny how you’re more scared of her when I can do worse here.”

“She sent them from the home dimension,” the older one pointed out. “They ceased to exist. I doubt you can do that.”

That was true. Yeosang nodded in agreement and the three fell silent again, staring into the thick cloud of fog they had been moving in for days now, relying solely on straining their visions and detecting the souls with magic. If Yeosang stopped and shut his eyes as if meditating, he could hear his friends back in the other dimension- he was pretty sure he heard something about Yena opening a portal to whatever dimension that held those creatures. He was praying she noted down the calculations because that was a dimension they definitely needed to explore, especially since those creatures could come and go as they pleased- which made him wonder yet again if Gaeul could actually control the dimension and serve as a bridge, just like him. Was she attracting those creatures to Mirinae without her knowledge? 

That made Yeosang actually clap in realisation and his partners frowned in confusion. “I have an idea. What would attract a darkling’s attention?”

“A helpless faerie?”

“You?”

“A portal to Mirinae, where the faeries live,” Yeosang was smirking dangerously and though the idea wasn’t all that bad, the two had some qualms about it.

“That would attract anyone’s attention, sir.”

“And that’s why I allowed you to serve in my court,” Yeosang straightened, the plan already running through his head. “Make sure the faeries know not to interfere if they don’t want to be burned into non-existence. We have a trap to set.”

The two got right into action, disappearing into the fog and leaving Yeosang alone as he waited for their signal. He wished he had a helping hand because there was no guarantee a rogue faerie wouldn’t make things worse, but he had to make do with what he had. As soon as the boy returned with his own plan of his friends acting undercover and roaming around to keep watch, Yeosang opened a portal to the part of the basement in his castle where he usually practised his magic, and let his plan play out.

~

Even though San had never felt weaker than this before, he wasn’t one to sit and wait, much to the younger princes’ dismay. Wooyoung and Jongho only watched helplessly as he went through old scrolls on magical bonds and pushed himself to come up with a way to keep that bond intact, even when it felt like one snap could break it forever.

“Not gonna work,” Jongho, who had given up trying to stop him since it was no use, opted to be his counsellor instead. He could feel what San was trying to do better, so he helped wherever he could. “Healing magic might have a better shot than Earth magic, if I have to say.”

“But Earth is what connects them,” Wooyoung, who was watching the two from the couch, sipping casually on a margarita, said. “Healing magic would scare the bond’s unnatural state.”

“Earth doesn’t connect them anymore,” Jongho said. “Gaeul’s magic is as far from Earth as it can get.”

“Not helping,” San muttered, taking a sip of Wooyoung’s drink. “There must be something that’s kept the bond alive.”

“Magic,” Jongho replied, resting his head on the table. “Magic keeps any bond alive. There must still be a kernel of her old magic inside Gaeul that kept the bond alive- or maybe, the bond itself is that kernel. In that case,” he yawned unceremoniously. “Good luck figuring it out.”

“It’s a loop,” Wooyoung sighed. “I’m lost.”

San resisted the urge to poke Jongho awake. He knew it was a shot in the dark but he had to think of something. Maybe he could save the bond- but for that, they’d have to be in the same dimensions, so that was not an option anymore. He slumped down hopelessly and Wooyoung tsk-ed.

“I’m sure they’re figuring it out,” Wooyoung said after a moment but San shook his head. “You don’t have to feel so hopeless. Everyone’s trying to help you here.”

“I just… I don’t know,” San almost cried. “If the bond breaks, would she still want me?”

“Yes, you love-sick bastard, I’m sure she will,” Wooyoung slapped San’s arm for good measure and Jongho laughed in his sleep. “Go sleep. You’re beginning to look more like Gaeul with each passing day.”

San smiled at that despite the situation, crawling to the nearest couch. “If only we could turn back time. Easy to say, huh?”

As San settled into the couch and wrapped himself up in his blanket, something clicked in Wooyoung’s mind and he waited for San to properly fall asleep before he went to write a message to Seonghwa.

I have the craziest theory, but it might be the only thing that could work. Asking you before I suggest it to Yena- if she hasn’t thought of it already.

~

Yena knew something was up with Yeosang when his fingers started twitching in his sleep mode. She thought she hallucinated for a second- after all, they would never admit it but they all were starting to feel a little crazy now that so much time had passed. But when Yeosang’s body jerked again, Yena looked around for Mingi.

“You didn’t notice Yeosang… moving or anything while you kept watch, did you?”

“What makes you think I was actually watching him?” Mingi, who was descending into a new level of laziness with each passing day, said. “If you didn’t notice, I’m always almost dozing off when I’m on duty.”

Yena pouted and Mingi asked what the matter was. 

“I think he’s doing something funny in his realm,” Yena’s voice was low, as if she herself didn’t quite believe it. “I can’t sense anything but he moved quite a bit just now.”

“I pray he is,” Mingi sighed, going back to drawing things on the sand with a stick. “It’s kind of boring without him here.”

Yena wanted to joke but she had to admit he was right. “Well, let’s hope he’s not getting a beating there, eh?”

Yena wasn’t wrong.

Yeosang almost got thrown a good distance away by the darkling spirit he had managed to get in his trap. Problem was, with all his energy focused on the portal, he couldn’t dodge the first attack and the portal shut close, prompting the darkling to attempt another attack.

Yeosang wiped his face as he got up, glaring at the darkling who was now being held back by his spirit friends. He observed it for a moment- it didn’t look like it had been here for long.

“Do you know just who you were attacking?” Yeosang stepped closer. “I could burn your soul with a mere thought.”

“Ah, so you’re him,” he cocked his head. “Prince of this realm.”

“Well, you must know what I can do then,” Yeosang scoffed. “I need you to get a message to your Prince of Space- tell him I’m calling him.”

“Why would I? He will burn me as soon as he spots me.”

“I could do the same, but we’re striking a deal, and you must be interested in what you could gain,” Yeosang considered him. “What business do you have left to still be in this realm?”

The darkling broke free, swiping his unnaturally white hair back. “I’m looking for my sister.”

“Ah,” Yeosang nodded slowly. “Well, tell you what- if you get my message to Prince Neve, I can ask him to get you the whereabouts of your sister. Sounds good?”

“And what if she’s… gone?”

“You know there’s nothing that can bring her back then,” Yeosang said and he looked grim. “The only favour we can do, then, is give you the same fate as her with the hope you’ll reunite somewhere- unless you’d like to simply cease to exist right now-”

“Alright, I get it,” he groaned. “I’ll do it. I don’t know how to get to the Prince though.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do,” Yeosang smirked. “You can’t fool me.”

The darkling immediately dissolved in thin air and the boy clapped. “You think they can feel their prince like we can feel you?”

“Let’s hope that is the case,” Yeosang sat down. “Now we wait.”

—---------------------------

[Day 134 in the other dimension/134 hours and 32 minutes in Mirinae]:

Gaeul didn’t know what she was expecting when she poked Yeosang’s arm. She was on watch while the others scattered- some to get food just because they were bored and missed eating, some to roam around. She herself had been staring holes into the shell she had brought with her from the beach when she was with San- the shell that resembled the colour of his magic. But when she felt overwhelmed because she missed him and because the days were feeling too repetitive and everyone felt tired, she resorted to poking Yeosang’s arm, sighing. If he was awake, he would probably engage her in some activity and keep her distracted.

She poked his arm again, pouting to herself. She wondered if he would feel sore when he woke up- after all, he had been in the same position for days now. He didn’t look like he was sleeping peacefully either- there was a slight frown on his face, eyebrows furrowed a little. Gaeul pushed the blonde strands of his hair back from where it was poking his eyes, noticing his birthmark. She was about to poke it next but he opened his eyes-

Making Gaeul scream and making Yeosang wince in return and shut his eyes in disappointment. When Gaeul finished screaming, she frowned and poked his arm again, making him open his eyes and he let out a short laugh when she nearly jumped.

“Yes, I’m awake,” his voice sounded hoarse and he cleared his throat, though he remained unmoving. “What were you doing? You scared me so bad that I almost went back to the realm.”

Gaeul put a hand on her heart to calm it down. “I- nothing. Just… poking you because I was bored.”

“I thought I told you not to mess with my body.”

“Gentle pokes,” Gaeul stifled a smile and he laughed. “I was… bored.”

“Just admit that you missed me,” Yeosang finally got up with a groan, stretching his muscles and looking around. “Where’s everyone?”

“Taking a break, they’ll be back soon,” she crossed her legs and scanned Yeosang- he didn’t look any different. “So? Did it work?”

“Somewhat,” Yeosang got up and brushed his clothes. “I managed to contact Neve indirectly, but… I think the closer we get to Rukbat, the better it is.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Gaeul said and Yeosang nodded. “How did you manage to contact him anyway?”

“That’s a story I’ll tell only once,” he shuddered involuntarily. “Let’s go find them. We shouldn’t waste any more time.”

It looked like Yeosang was thinking as they walked in silence towards the town and Gaeul nervously scratched at her fingers, wondering if she was one step closer to going home. As soon as Yeosang spotted Yena scribbling in her diary, he whistled loudly at his twin and Yena perked up when she saw him.

“Finally,” Yena groaned, sharing a smile with Gaeul. “So? Got kicked out of your realm or?”

“Kind of both,” Yeosang chuckled, waving at Yunho and Mingi who spotted him and they ran towards him, Mingi attempting to put Yeosang in a chokehold but folding in on himself when Yeosang poked his stomach. 

“We’re going to Rukbat- as close as we can. Chances are Neve will find us before we do.”

“How did you contact him?” Yena asked.

“I had to open a portal to the home dimension as a bait which caught a darkling spirit's attention…” Yeosang’s voice got smaller as Yena glared at him. “Come on. It worked.”

“I can’t believe I’m the one lecturing you about the rules, but that could have gone way worse, Yeosang. I’m surprised you came out unharmed.”

“Not entirely, I’m sore,” Yeosang rubbed his left forearm where he had landed when he received the blow from the darkling. “But we’re good. So are we portalling to Rukbat?”

“We should,” Yena nodded. “Should I get us to the outskirts of Rukbat, or straight to the mountains where he’s most likely to come?”

“He’ll definitely come to that place where it all started,” Mingi said and Yena nodded grimly. “So maybe save us the hiking part and portal us to the river in the mountains? We could wait there.”

Yunho snickered at that. “You’re just tired of walking around, isn’t that so?”

“Whatever, we are all tired,” Mingi sighed, looking apologetically at Gaeul. “No pressure.”

Gaeul laughed nervously- it was an inside joke at this point. “Let’s save the trip then, if that’s okay with Yena.”

“Of course,” Yena nodded, immediately opening the portal and making everyone step through it before she entered, shutting the portal. Gaeul shivered at the sudden drop in temperature and Mingi started picking some wood to light a fire while Yeosang and Yena sat down as she updated him on the calculations of the portals she had noted so far. Gaeul sat by the river at the same spot she had come with San, smiling faintly at the memory when they had flirted a bit and played around, still so curious about the other. 

Yunho bent down and submerged his hands in the river, closing his eyes shut as if taking in something unexplainable. When he opened his eyes, he noticed Gaeul curiously watching him.

“Water has memories,” Yunho told her.

“Like… actual memories?”

“Not really,” Yunho settled down next to her. “Some memories are meant to be forgotten. Some… stay due to some sort of magic or intensity factor- I never understood why. I tried this when I was looking for the black hole too but it didn’t really work. But… it looks like you and San have been here before.”

Yunho grinned when he saw her gape at him. “What did you see?”

“You were throwing water at each other,” he laughed. “Is that a good memory?”

“I was just thinking about it right now,” Gaeul admitted. “We came here with Wooyoung and Jongho- they stayed down but he wanted to show me the river.”

Yunho nodded. “He really wanted to show you the river, yes. I think the memory here is because of San. He must really cherish that memory.”

“Really? How can you tell?”

“I looked at you through his eyes,” Yunho turned to Gaeul and she raised a brow. “What if there is no choice but to break the bond for you two to be together? I mean… it’s about time we started seriously considering that possibility. It might kill you, but there is a chance that you’ll make it out alive without the bond. What then?”

Gaeul took a deep breath. “I don’t think anything should change. It would hurt but I know I love San because he is… San. I don’t love him because we’re connected. Yes, it made me more drawn to him than I would have perhaps otherwise, but… I think I would have gone for him anyway.”

“Really?” Yunho teased. “None of us good enough for you?”

“Come on,” Gaeul laughed. “Okay, on second thought, Seonghwa is taken, that’s too bad, but Yeosang-”

“Shut up right there,” Yeosang put his hands over his ears and Yena and Mingi laughed out loud, knowing Gaeul did that to tease Yeosang but also because she actually thought Yeosang was particularly beautiful, just like everyone else. Gaeul sent finger hearts to Yeosang, making him hide behind his sister. 

“You two are the prettiest!” Gaeul called out before turning back to Yunho, sharing a laugh. “Yeah, I think I would have chosen San anyway.”

Yunho pretended to be hurt, earning a slap and Mingi joined the two in their following banter. Meanwhile, Yena sighed as she laid down on the grass.

“Wake me up when Neve arrives.”

—--------------------

[Day 136 in the other dimension/136 hours and 43 minutes in Mirinae]:

Gaeul and Mingi held on to each other as they screamed their lungs out, making the poor man in front of them shut his eyes in plain old disappointment, waiting until Mingi at least came to his senses and stopped screaming, Gaeul following suit.

“Neve?”

“Yes, Neve. It’s honestly a surprise you recognised me. I thought you’d scream longer.”

Gaeul’s grip on Mingi’s arm loosened- the duo had been playing with magic, dodging each other’s attacks until one of them got hit, in which case they would receive a forehead flick. Gaeul was just preparing Mingi for the blow he was about to receive but the shock they both received when the door to the cabin, which was right behind them at the moment, opened and something dark stepped out, resulted in them holding on to each other for dear life.

Gaeul assessed the darkling- he looked and felt just like a faerie, maybe a tad bit different. It was his aura that confirmed he was a darkling. He was middle-aged but looked weary, his dark hair with streaks of grey a stark contrast to the paleness of his skin, going well with his facial hair. His dark eyes bore holes into her.

“Now what is that?” He wondered out loud. Mingi scoffed at the way he phrased it.

“That’s your new patient,” Mingi said and Neve laughed, patting Mingi’s arm in encouragement. 

“Always the one stuck with the helpless, huh? You look better than the last time I saw you.”

“I’m not the only one this time,” Mingi craned his head to where the rest of them had gone- they would surely be coming back now if Neve wasn’t masking his powers. “And thanks. You look older.”

“Age. I can’t keep travelling in time to avoid that now, can I?” Neve smiled in defeat and looked back at the approaching figures, smiling cheek to cheek when he spotted Yena. Gaeul watched with curiosity and surprise as Yena approached Neve with a pout and let him hug her.

“Are you the same Yena that couldn’t manage a single portal?” Neve scanned her. 

“In flesh and blood,” Yena grinned. “It’s been years. I might have reached my full potential, or maybe I still have some way to go.”

“You still have,” Neve confirmed and looked at Yeosang. “Your other half.”

“Yep. Yeosang,” Yena introduced and Yeosang nodded in greeting. “And that’s Yunho- Prince of Water.”

“And Prince of Ice,” Neve added and Yunho raised a brow. “Those two elements aren’t meant to be in the same person.”

“Really? Why?” Yunho asked, though his tone said he must have a reason to believe him.

“That’s a long story for another time, but it’s a miracle you’re… in one piece,” he said dismissively and Mingi rolled his eyes, telling Yunho that was just the darkling being himself. “Now, what was all the fuss about?”

“Who do you think she is?” Yena pointed at Gaeul.

“What do you think she is,” Mingi quoted to correct. “Let’s start with a blank slate.”

“Interesting,” Neve stepped towards Gaeul, making her squirm- she hadn’t found the will to speak ever since she came in the presence of the darkling, and she could understand now why Yena wanted her to meet him- it was like her slumbering powers were finally cracking open their curious eyes. “She’s not entirely faerie, but there’s not a hint of darkling in her. Yet…” he brought his hand and touched a stray strand of hair. “Yet my power sings of familiarity.”

“Can you feel if… Kieran has tampered with her in any way? Her magic or her memories?” 

Neve paused and looked at Yena in surprise. “Kieran?”

“Don’t tell me how he is,” Yena mumbled and Neve looked around in surprise. Yeosang cleared his throat.

“We believe that Kieran somehow figured out the time-loop and killed Gaeul here to mess with us.”

“If he killed her, then why is she alive?” Neve frowned, looking at Mingi. “Don’t tell me you’re travelling back in time again.”

“We’re not,” Mingi shook his head. “Just confirm our suspicions and we’ll tell you the story.”

“Okay,” Neve shrugged, looking at Gaeul for permission before putting his hand on her forehead and closing his eyes, wincing before he drew back after a few moments and looking in utter surprise at Gaeul and then at the others.

“Kieran did leave one last gift for you, huh?” He managed to say, settling down on the grass as he processed what he had seen. “She used to be faerie, but now she is not. And it’s because Kieran killed her at the right time, though I’m not quite sure if he was aware of the extent of his prank…”

“You can tell him your story, Gaeul,” Yena urged, asking everyone to settle down. Gaeul nodded and looked around, Yunho beside her patting her arm in encouragement as she told him the events following her coming back from the dead, to her magic reversing and spotting those otherworldly creatures, to finding out that the Prince of Earth is her soulmate and that the bond might be the only thing that was keeping her alive.

“I think Kieran must have known that the bond could cause some significant destruction to the timeline- though it may not have been the outcome he expected. I should ask him just what he was thinking…” Neve looked cautiously at Yena who raised her brow. “He’s in our worst prison, don’t worry. Apparently we respect the treaty enough to punish even the Prince of Illusions.”

“Good riddance,” Yeosang muttered. “He’s created enough of a mess here before he left.”

“Well,” Neve crossed his legs, looking at Gaeul. “How does your magic feel right now?”

“It’s been weird ever since you came,” Gaeul admitted. “Why is that?”

“We must have something in common- I can feel it too,” Neve looked at Yeosang and Yena. “The same way I can feel with them. With those two, we are the descendants of the same magic- we’re practically related in that way,” he scoffed and Yeosang groaned, making Yunho and Mingi grin. “But with you… perhaps the dark nature of your magic speaks to my inherent nature, or perhaps…”

“The dimensional power,” Gaeul completed and he nodded grimly. “Have you heard of those creatures before?”

“I have seen them,” Neve said proudly and Yena clapped. “As she well knows, I have travelled a lot of worlds.”

“See?” Yena said haughtily. “I knew he would be of help.”

“I’m surprised you managed to contact me though,” Neve looked at Yeosang. “That was risky but it worked.”

“We’ve been here for how many days now?” Yeosang looked at Yunho and he told the day count- 136. “I thought it would be easier to reach you.”

“It would have been, but I stopped travelling in dimensions last year. It finally started taking a toll on my health,” he looked at Yena. “And so, I would advise you to limit your use of dimensional magic as well.”

“Yes sir,” Yena saluted. “So? What are those creatures?”

“The Panthers of Soca,” Neve said. “Originally from Earth but these creatures were the first to be transported to another dimension by the direct descendants of the original magic holders- those creatures are far too intelligent to have been manipulated by darklings, or even faeries.”

“Another dimension? Not another planet?” Yeosang asked.

“You know how there are uncountable dimensions layering our world. This here is still Mirinae, but another dimension that simply has a different time flow. The Panthers of Soca also dwell on Mirinae, long before it was inhabited by the faeries, but in a dimension where the state of Mirinae is accustomed to their needs.”

“So they’re… panthers? Animals?” Mingi asked.

“Not that simple,” Neve shook his head. “They have a single purpose- to bring balance to nature. They existed before faeries, and when the first faerie birthed from the purest kernels of magic, so did darklings from the darkest of magic- dark in nature but not evil, mind you. It is believed that the Panthers of Soca raised the first faerie and the darkling, making sure their powers were two halves of one whole.”

“So can they speak?” Gaeul asked.

“Not in a language we’d understand anymore.”

“So the question remains,” Yunho began. “Why did they kidnap the faeries from Mirinae? Why did they bow to Gaeul?”

Neve looked at Gaeul with curious eyes. “I’d have an explanation but the fact that they bowed to Gaeul is… unsettling. After all, she was once a mere faerie.”

“A mere faerie of the yin-yang bloodline who just so happens to be the Prince of Earth’s soulmate,” Yeosang began, making Gaeul hide her face in her hands. “Who used to have affinities for at least three elements, which is unusual as it is, even if she is from the prestige bloodline, but who just so happened to come back from the dead after being killed in a time-loop, resulting in her magic reversing so now she has the power to make a thing unalive- not kill, but lose its meaning, its existence-”

“Yeosang-” Yunho warned but he continued.

“-and who holds an affinity for cold fire- an element that was supposed to be a myth, and that’s not all- her soulmate bond remained intact after death. And you’re still wondering why the Panthers of Soca, who apparently strive for balance, bowed to her, a mere faerie?”

“I would have thrown up if I was back in Mirinae,” Gaeul muttered but everyone ignored that, staring at Yeosang who had just stated the very obvious but overwhelming facts. 

“She’s the epitome of unbalance,” Yeosang said and Gaeul was the first one to laugh at that, making everyone join in defeat. “It’s honestly a relief they didn’t decide to kill her instead.”

“Okay, now I will throw up,” Gaeul warned and Yunho put a cautious hand on her back, finding that she indeed felt queasy and sent some comforting magic through her. “But why kidnap the faeries?”

“The faeries aren’t the only one that went missing,” Neve revealed and a collective gasp sounded. “A few darklings too. I never thought it could be connected to something bigger.”

“So do we open the dimension and I don’t know, talk it out with the Panthers? Or do we make sure Gaeul is trained well first?” Mingi asked.

“You said she is my patient,” Neve smirked. “I think that means we’ll have to train.”

~

San was sure this must be how Yena had felt when some foreign darkling magic was interfering with her soulmate bond and even healing her was hurting her. Because for the past couple of days, he was positive he was simply dying. There was no other explanation- he was deteriorating from the inside, and that was a nice way to put it- his organs felt like they were catching fire though he physically felt cold.

As he sat under the glass roof of Wooyoung’s room and stared at the dark cloudy sky that kind of reflected his current state, he wondered if this was how everything would end. If he would wonder for the rest of his life what it would have been like had he lived a happy, normal life with his other half. 

He liked imagining how he would have come across Gaeul- maybe she would have finally left her home for good and come to live somewhere in Jongho’s kingdom, where she could practise her Nature magic freely. Maybe they would have crossed paths somewhere on a beach there, stopping for a moment feeling something strange in the air and going back to their separate paths, only to find each other again soon.

Or maybe she would have come to live in his kingdom. Maybe she would have met him while he was travelling, in disguise, like he had encountered Yena. Maybe he would have offered to show her around if they met on the road. 

Or, in a more romantic scenario, he would have been drawn to her anyway. Maybe he would have found himself going to the beach in Ascella and met her where she was perhaps the most powerful- with earth, nature and water element in one place. That might have heightened her soulmate bond especially when he would be closer. They would have taken one look at each other and known they were meant to meet, though it would have been a bit difficult to accept it.

San started to wonder for the first time why his soulmate wasn’t just another ordinary faerie. It could have been anyone, but Gaeul was from the most privileged bloodline of the fae. That itself was something- the fact that she possibly held affinities for not one but three elements. Even ignoring the mess that Kieran had created, it was strange enough for San’s soulmate to be this powerful. Perhaps the fates had written for him someone who could be his counterpart- someone that could match his magnitude of power.

The Earth element, as simple as it sounded, was perhaps the most vague elemental power to possess- stranger than water and nature elements. Earth wasn’t simply the soil under your feet or the bringer of life- it was also the bringer of death and destruction. The fact that the yin-yang bloodline had mostly nature and earth magic users was alarming enough, but to possess water affinity with it? Wasn’t that combination unstoppable?

And now it had taken an unknown form- he wondered just what was going on in that dimension- was Gaeul able to hold control over her powers now? Just what could she do now that she wasn’t just his counterpart but his complete opposite as well?

Nature, earth and water. What a combination-

San got up slowly, looking at the sleeping figure of Hongjoong next to him as realisation started to dawn on him. He contemplated not waking him up but figured if what he was thinking was somehow plausible even though it sounded far from it, he had to let Hongjoong know. Plus, Hongjoong always made something out of their senseless opinions too.

San poked Hongjoong’s arm repeatedly until he stirred, opening one eye. “You okay?”

“I was thinking-”

“Ugh, stop thinking and go back to sleep,” Hongjoong groaned and shifted away from him. 

San sighed. “The faeries that have been kidnapped. What magic do they possess? And how many were there?”

“It’s in the report we received a few days ago,” Hongjoong muttered sleepily. “Read that.”

“Weren’t they earth, nature and water elements holders?” 

“So you did read? What’s the problem then?”

“Think about it,” San crossed his legs, his tone urgent. “What elements did Gaeul have an affinity for?”

There were a few moments of complete silence and San wondered if Hongjoong had actually gone back to sleep before he got up abruptly and stared at San as he started connecting the dots. “So you’re saying this isn’t random?”

“Does it look random to you?” San countered and Hongjoong shook his head.

“I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t want to overwhelm you, but I think you should know now,” Hongjoong sighed, scanning the face of the younger Prince who looked pale enough as it was. “Those creatures that took the faeries? Apparently Yena accidentally opened a portal to their dimension. When they saw Gaeul, they bowed to her.”

San felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. “They… bowed to her? Out of fear-”

“Or respect,” Hongjoong countered. “Maybe both.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Nobody does,” Hongjoong patted San’s arm. “But I think I should contact them now- let them know this is something they cannot simply dismiss as coincidence.”

“How are you going to contact them?” San asked.

“A little trick I’m learning thanks to our little time-traveller,” Hongjoong smiled. “Apparently light can travel through different dimensions and time-flows without losing its form. So a simple message like this-” he snapped his fingers causing a spark to light for a few seconds. “It can travel through our dimension to theirs.”

“Wow. That’s really convenient but please don’t send it to the past,” San looked paler if that was possible. “We’ve had enough of messing with the past.”

“Don’t worry, Yena’s controlling the other end of it for now,” Hongjoong assured. “I’ll go contact them-”

“Wait-” San held Hongjoong’s wrist, stopping him. “Can I… can I see her?”

“Gaeul?” Hongjoong asked and San nodded sheepishly. “Are you sure? Actually, you can but I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea for her to see you in this state…”

“I just wanna talk to her,” San pleaded and Hongjoong gave in, sending the spark-message and asking him to brace himself for a portal opening in the room.

They felt it before it appeared in front of their eyes- a tingling feeling in the air followed by a tear in the space and the portal opening with sparks. Yena waited in front of them, Yeosang beside them.

“Every time I think he couldn’t look any worse, he surprises me,” Yeosang commented and San scoffed.

“It’s not that bad.”

“You just look like a grayscale painting of yourself, other than that? It’s fine,” Yena shook her head. “You go first, Hongjoong, because we have a lot to say.”

Hongjoong sighed in relief- it looked like there was finally a positive outcome. “Funnily enough, San’s brain actually works even when he looks like this. He says the missing faeries are all either earth, nature or water element holders.”

“See?” Yeosang looked pointedly at his twin who bit her lips guiltily. “Another item to add to my list of why Gaeul is not just a ‘mere faerie’ like Neve said.”

“Neve? You’ve done it then?”

“Just two days ago- two hours for you, that is,” Yeosang began. “Those creatures aren’t simply animals, Hongjoong. They are the Panthers of Soca- the ones that maintain the balance in nature. The ones that were there when the first faerie and darkling came into being.”

“The Panthers of Soca?” Hongjoong was positive he had gone paler than San. “I thought that was a bedtime story.”

“I thought so too, until I saw them for myself a few years ago,” Neve came into their vision and passed a subtle nod to the two. “Greetings. You look like death.”

“I feel like death, thank you,” San muttered. 

“So you’re the poor lad who’s had the misfortune to be Gaeul’s soulmate.”

“I wouldn’t call it that,” San raised a brow.

“Oh, you wouldn’t?” Neve raised a brow back. “Because I’ve been thinking about your two’s situation, and honestly? Things don’t look so bright, Prince of Earth. You’ll have to start weighing your options soon-”

“Neve,” Yena warned politely, turning to San. “He’s a darkling. He never looks at the bright side of the picture. I don’t know how I made it back when he trained me, to be honest.”

“I know what my options are,” San looked grimly but firmly at the darkling who met his stare.

“Yeah, anyways, if the faeries have something to do with Gaeul’s original powers, then what do the darkling have to do?”

“Darklings?” Hongjoong asked.

“Your kind isn’t the only one that got taken,” Neve said. “We had a few darklings that went missing, and now I’m wondering if it’s related to this.”

“Well, I think before anything we need to confirm that,” Hongjoong looked at Yena and she nodded. “If the faeries reflect Gaeul’s old powers, the darklings must have something similar- or something that resembles Gaeul’s current powers. Once we confirm…”

“We’re looking for a way to communicate with the Panthers,” Yeosang told them. “We should know why they are still keeping the faeries alive, and check if there really are darklings there too. You should go back to your library, Hongjoong…”

Everyone laughed at that as Hongjoong groaned. “Alright, I’ll see. San?”

San nodded at him before turning to Yena. “Can you call Gaeul here? I need to see her.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Yena looked at Hongjoong who nodded in approval. “I’ll get her then…”

San waited nervously and the others simply watched his face change when he finally spotted Gaeul, his eyes looking livelier than they had ever since she had left.

Gaeul, however, saw San and nearly fell on her knees right there as the feelings she had been suppressing finally let loose. San smiled weakly at her and looked at Hongjoong.

“Can I get a little privacy?”

“Uh,” Yeosang looked at Yena. “I think as long as you two don’t interfere with the portal, you can. No touching, though, you hear me? ANd no poking through it”

Gaeul raised her hands in surrender and Yeosang muttered something about how he would be monitoring her before leaving with the rest and San waited until Hongjoong left the room before turning to her.

“Hello, love.”

“You look… like me,” Gaeul laughed, suppressing her tears and San chuckled at that, warning her not to cry. “Are you okay?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” he got up from the bed and Gaeul watched his significantly weaker steps towards the portal and Gaeul dared to take a step forward herself. “How are you? Is it too much?”

“I’m okay with everything, I’ve trained a lot here-”

“I heard,” San smiled. “Cold fire? Seriously?”

Gaeul shrugged, smiling back. “Unexpected, isn’t it?”

“I hope they aren’t too hard with their training,” San asked. “Now’s the time to complain.”

“I’m okay with everything, San, I just… I miss you so much. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you-” Gaeul looked up as tears blurred her vision. “More than 4 months. That’s a lot of time without you. I feel it more with each passing day.”

“It may have only been a few days for me, but I feel it too, if you can’t tell already,” San joked and Gaeul glared at him, making him laugh. “I never thought I’d physically need you. I think I finally understand why you couldn’t stay away from me.”

“Excuse me, you were the one who couldn’t stay away from me,” Gaeul corrected and they shared a grin. 

“I just wanted to see you once. I feel a lot better now, even though I can’t actually feel you,” San sighed. “Stay strong, Gaeul. You’ll figure this out, okay? You’ll figure this out, and then you will come back home.”

“I will come back home, to you,” Gaeul promised. “So hang in there, San.”

San took another step forward, merely inches away from the portal and it took everything in his willpower to not step right through and hold her in his arms. Gaeul reached out a hand but stopped when she heard the warning groan from Yeosang, who walked to her and held her hand, squeezing it and she was surprised he didn’t scold her.

“I think you should say goodbye now,” he told her and Gaeul looked at San who nodded at Yeosang.

“No goodbyes. I’ll see you soon, Gaeul,” San said and Gaeul felt short of breath all of a sudden, about to say something but San had already waved his hand in front of the portal, effectively dismissing it and Gaeul stood staring at empty space, feeling lost until Yeosang squeezed her hand again.

“It’s all going to be over soon. Don’t give in now.”

The tears finally escaped at the gentleness of his voice and Gaeul wiped her face with her free hand. “I just… I don’t know if it’s worse to see him like this or to not see him at all.”

Yeosang sighed, patting her back and urging her to follow him back to where everyone was waiting, looking anxious. Gaeul pursed her lips and Neve cleared his throat before he spoke, “I’ll need to confirm what powers the missing darklings possessed, and for that, I’ll have to portal back home. I see no other way, but portalling back home and then coming here again is going to be tough on me. I’m not the same person I was a few years ago, sadly.”

“Just say that you’re old now,” Yena rolled her eyes and everyone laughed a bit, lightening the mood. “How dramatic.”

“Uh, there is another way but that would involve us preparing a little,” Yunho suggested, looking at Gaeul. “We could have Yena open the portal there. We could go there.”

“Go there?” Mingi shuddered at the thought. “Those creatures will rip you apart. I’ll stay here to collect your remains, though.”

“They… won’t,” Gaeul looked at them and Neve raised a brow in surprise at the confidence. “I felt it back then. They won’t hurt me. I don’t know what we’ll do if we go there, but I know they won’t hurt you if you stay with me. If we go there and Yena can bring us back, then I’m up for it.”

“You don’t have to rush,” Yeosang reminded her, knowing very well that a part of her wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible now that she had seen San in that state. 

“I know,” Gaeul nodded in thanks. “But tell me you’re not worried about San. He looks closer to death than I ever did.”

“That’s true,” Neve commented. “He does look like he’s moments away from… fading. Whatever her magic does to life.”

“And if we can’t make it back?” Mingi dared to ask.

“Well then,” Yunho clapped as he met eyes with every one of them. “It was nice knowing you all.”

—---------------------------

[Day 142 in the other dimension/142 hours and 17 minutes in Mirinae]:

It took a lot of planning, to put it simply. A lot of planning and arguments and bickering to finally agree that yes, they were going to open the portal to the dimension where the Panthers of Soca dwelled. It was a risk, but everyone was fully prepared to defend themselves, fight back or face worse consequences.

Despite playing it safe so far, everyone did admit they were a little tired of everything now and just wanted to solve this matter and get it over with. It was Neve who finally pushed their buttons and got them to admit it, and Gaeul was thoroughly impressed by that, reminded of Wooyoung who would have probably been even quicker than Neve. 

It was actually Gaeul’s big plan- she was the one who was tired of sitting and waiting. She was tired of seeing the others pretend that each passing day wasn’t wearing them down- yes, the break must have been very much welcomed when they first came here, but it had been months. Everyone had a life they wished to resume. They missed their court, their people, and hell, even the boring meetings. They missed their friends. Yena missed her husband- it was plain as day.

And Gaeul missed San. She could not simply wait for some miracle to happen now that she had seen San in that state, looking just like she had when she came back from the dead. She would make that miracle take place. 

And for that, she needed Neve- probably the only one who could perhaps understand her. And she had been right. 

“That’s easy enough,” Neve said, glancing at the others who were looking zoned out- either playing with their surroundings or staring into the space. “I think they’re going a little crazy anyway. They need some action.”

“Right!” Gaeul instantly relaxed, making Neve stifle a grin. “I know they’re doing it to make me comfortable and whatnot but if only they knew how uncomfortable all of this is making me… And they keep talking about training me. Haven’t I trained enough?”

“You can never train enough, Gaeul dear,” he pointed out and Gaeul groaned. 

“I know, but…” Gaeul bit her lip in frustration. “I just want this to be over already. And I don’t think just sitting and waiting for something to happen is the better choice.”

“I understand,” he nodded in approval. “I think the Panthers of Soca are intelligent enough to try holding a conversation with us instead of simply attacking us. And you know what? I have this strangest feeling that they’re connected to this in more ways than we can imagine.”

“Like?” Gaeul frowned.

“You’ll see,” he smiled knowingly. “I can see what’s coming. If you use that pretty little head of yours, you might see it too. The others are far too done to even form sane thoughts.”

Gaeul looked at the rest again, laughing a bit at the sight of Yunho arranging water drops in the air, Mingi sketching in the sand, Yena and Yeosang back to back pretending to read something but Yeosang’s book was upside down and Yena’s eyes weren’t on the book at all.

“They’re hopeless,” Neve shook his head in amusement. “But they’re an odd bunch. They’d do anything for the people they care about.”

“Well,” Gaeul rubbed her arms. “I hope they don’t get too disappointed with what happens later.”

So, after countless arguments and defence plans, Yena was finally ready to open a portal to their dimension, Gaeul next to her and Neve behind them to control the portal if something went wrong. Yena took a deep breath, glancing at the rest before meeting eyes with Gaeul. “Ready?”

Her powers sang in answer as if they had waited for this very moment. Gaeul nodded and Yena shut her eyes, concentrating on getting the right calculations and getting the portal working, Neve providing help once she started opening it- a tear in the space itself, Gaeul was always surprised to see. The portal grew wider, the murky cloud in it clearing and revealing-

The same spot where they stood, except the world seemed darker and shadows prowled the land.

For a few moments, everyone was simply too surprised to react as the sight of the Panthers became clearer- their eyes sharp colours of green and yellow as they spotted Gaeul. She held her breath, watching them turn and then walk with cautious strides towards the portal. Yena waved her extended hands with a sense of finality, letting the portal hang in the air so she could relax back and Neve followed suit.

One of the Panthers came forward and scanned each of them slowly before fixing its eyes on Gaeul and then, with a small bow, it rose. Gaeul could feel everyone holding their breaths, and when it opened its mouth to speak-

“It’s been a while, Im Gaeul.”

Gaeul glanced around but they all looked beyond confused. She cleared her throat. “How do you know my name?”

It was a simple, perhaps stupid question, but she hadn’t heard her full name in such a long time that it shook her to the core. Yena whipped her neck back to gape at Gaeul.

“We know everything about each one of you,” the Panther spoke and Gaeul felt its voice echo in her head in the most odd way- as if she could hear it from her ears and from inside her mind at the same time. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“We do,” Gaeul said and once again, watched everyone around her lower their defences as they tried to make sense of the situation.

“How come you’re talking to it?” Yeosang was the first one to ask. “What language are they speaking? Do you understand?”

Gaeul looked in confusion at Neve who simply looked oddly satisfied, as if all his predictions about how this encounter would go were coming true. He scoffed. “She seems to understand their language.”

“They’re speaking a different language than all of us?” Gaeul whisper-screamed, making Yena stagger on her step and she wrapped her trembling hand around Gaeul’s. 

“If you allow us to enter, we shall talk about everything. We have the answers to your questions, but first, you must allow us to enter into your world.”

“You didn’t need that when you stepped in Mirinae, why do you need my permission now?” Gaeul dared to ask.

“Because we’re finally contacting you. We shouldn’t have let it get to that, but we are finally making contact. There is no other way.”

“What are they saying?” Yunho asked.

“They want to enter this dimension so they can talk,” Gaeul looked at the rest. “Shall we allow them then?”

“You should,” Neve was the first one to speak. “And all of you should take care not to disrespect these creatures.”

Mingi looked pale- perhaps, he sensed something different about this situation. “Allow them to enter then.”

“You sure about this?” Yena asked Gaeul and she nodded. Yena nodded at the Panthers and two of them stepped through the portal and their presence finally hit-

Power. Raw, limitless power. That’s what this was. Gaeul wondered why the Panthers bowed to her when they should have been bowing to such power. She watched them sit, their wings drawn in and tails moving in the slowest motion.

“We bow to you because we must apologise for letting it get to this point,” the Panther began. “All that has happened. All that has gone wrong. It wasn’t meant to be like this.”

“Why do I understand your language but they don’t?” Gaeul asked. 

“All the answers in due time,” the Panther was almost smiling. “But first, you must hear our story and make a decision. Only you are allowed the privilege to make your own decisions.”

Gaeul’s heart sank- she looked at the others and translated their message. Yunho said it was better that she heard them out first and they would talk later, so Gaeul readied herself to hear their story.

“The reason you are here today, Gaeul, is because we allowed something to happen after your Prince of Illusions, Junyoung, died. His uncle was far too gone to let it go and he performed necromancy- the worst sin. That is the moment everything started to go wrong.”

“But that happened more than 25 years ago?” Gaeul frowned in confusion.

“It was something that should never have happened. If we had taken care of it at that time, you would have been living your old life. We are the maintainers of balance, yet, a bad judgement on our part that perhaps, the darkling Kieran who got brought into this world by force could live like a faerie… we didn’t foresee the corruption and the wrongs that would follow.

“Kieran was forcefully brought to Mirinae. Junyoung’s uncle could have very well raised him as his own, however, his mind deteriorated and he resorted to the ugliest path of them all. He kidnapped Yena- and that would not have happened had we stopped it right when he performed necromancy.”

“But that must not have been the first time necromancy was performed, right?” Gaeul glanced at Yena and Yena realised what they must be talking about. “Why was this time different?”

“We have the power to see all the possible flows of time and events that will follow after a decision,” the Panther said. “Thus, we have the power to change the time flow if something goes horribly wrong.”

“But you let it happen?” Gaeul almost whispered.

“It was the first time we could not see the time flow clearly- perhaps, the necromancy was supposed to happen. Perhaps, Yena was supposed to get kidnapped. That’s why we stayed put, because everything was still in balance. However… when Yena reunited with her family and the Prince of Dark got killed… that’s when we realised the time flow was damaged already- beyond repair. And only one thing could fix it now.”

“I… I don’t understand,” Gaeul’s voice quivered and Yena put a hand on her back, knowing her life events were involved since her name was being called so frequently. 

“The time-loop is a complex thing, and it is the first time we witnessed such a complex loop. It would have been a never-ending series of Yena going back in time to save Seonghwa, and Seonghwa getting killed again and again. It would have looped for infinity- but we could foresee that, and if we let it run its original path, perhaps, at one point, Yena would have given up on saving Seonghwa. How would the timeline have flowed then? It would have been the demise of your kind- for a time-loop to repeat itself for infinity before it breaks and follows a route unforeseen, it would have caused the end of your species. Your world would have folded in on itself and none of you would have remained.”

It hit Gaeul then- just how she was connected. Why the Panthers, such powerful creatures, bowed to her- in apology.

“And to prevent the time-loop from looping into infinity…” Gaeul almost whispered.

“Yes. For that, we had to intervene. We should have intervened earlier, but the damage was done. We used you as the last resort- a yin-yang faerie who’s soulmate happened to be powerful enough. We planted in Kieran’s head the idea to kill you. We let you die at the right time so the time-loop would end, so the faeries who sacrificed so much by leaving Earth and making Mirinae their home… they could all live. But for that… you had to die first.”

“Should I have remained dead then?” Gaeul could feel the sting of tears already.

“Not at all. Because we let you die at the right time, you came back. It is us who brought you back to life, slowly, surely. It is your bond with your soulmate that allowed us to do so. Your natural powers reversing is just a consequence you have to live with now. It seems like you’ve embraced it.”

Gaeul didn’t answer. “Why kidnap the faeries and the darklings then?”

“The reason we took all these faeries and darklings is because they possess magic similar to your original magic and your current one. They are safe- you need not worry. If you choose to live, their magic might help with the restoration. If you choose death, they will wake up with no memory of being here. But you need to make a decision-”

“Why give me a choice at all?”

“Because we have wronged you, and we will allow you a choice now- you can choose to remain dead. Your soulmate will never know he lost his other half. Because you have come back now, and the timeline is restored to something that does not lead to the end of the faeries, we can make it so that you never came back at all. None of them will know you ever existed.”

Gaeul couldn’t believe her ears and her heart tugged at her. “I should have been given this choice before you brought me back to life.”

“We couldn’t allow it to happen at that time,” the Panther shook its head slowly, the other grunting in agreement. “But you can choose now. Or… you can continue down this road.”

“How can I continue down this road when I’m still struggling to live with myself?” Gaeul’s voice raised in anger and the rest shifted in confusion.

“We can try to restore the soulmate bond to its original state. It is the only thing we can do for you now.”

“If you can see the multiple time flows, you must already know how this ends?” Gaeul asked. 

“We cannot see it because you are an anomaly, and your decisions are being influenced by us. Therefore, we do not know what will be better for you. Magic is a part of our existence, and losing it is losing a part of one’s own self forever- and you have lost your original magic forever. However… a soulmate bond is equally as precious, though your mate can continue to love you even without the bond. But we cannot guarantee your wellbeing if you choose to live and restore the soulmate bond. You could end up losing this magic too- forever. Or you could end up losing what is left of the bond too. ”

“But the bond is the reason I was able to come back, wasn’t it?” Gaeul was crying now. “Is it the only reason I had to be the one to be sacrificed?”

The Panthers didn’t respond and Gaeul finally understood why they gave her the option of death as well. She could go back so she never got to relive this misery.

But… her life now was anything but miserable. She had found a family now. San loved her. Could she give him up? And if she chose to restore the soulmate bond… 

Could she live as a faerie without magic? It was, she had heard in old poems, worse than losing a limb. It was like losing a part of yourself- she had experienced some of it herself and it had almost driven her crazy. What if she couldn’t take it?

And worse of all, what if she ended up losing everything just because she was selfish enough to want to live? She would lose her magic that she had just started accepting, and her soulmate bond. She would be nothing without the two. It didn’t matter if San would still love her- she didn’t doubt that. San would love her no matter who she was, but…

Could she live with herself? 

“What happens if I choose to live and everything goes wrong?” Gaeul asked, startling everyone.

“We do not know. What is a faerie without its magic and its bond? If it is a risk you must be willing to take… then you are very brave. Think about it, faerie. And when you have made a decision, we will be ready..”

“I understand,” Gaeul nodded and the Panthers got up, scanning each one of them before turning around, a portal appearing in front of them. They disappeared into it and the rest of them relaxed but Gaeul remained motionless.

“I have no idea what they talked about,” Yena patted her back again. “But I have a feeling I know.”

“I have a feeling I’m right too,” Neve muttered.

“I don’t know,” Gaeul sighed. “Do you mind if I take a breather before I tell you what we talked about?”

“Not at all,” Yena assured and Gaeul passed a weak smile before going towards the shore, leaving the rest confused but they would wait. They would give her all the time she needed to sort her thoughts out.

But to everyone’s surprise, Gaeul called Neve to talk in private and he passed a knowing glance to Yena before he joined Gaeul by the shore.

“You look too pale, kid,” he began. “Everything alright?”

“I need advice- and I’m not asking any of them because I know what they will say,” Gaeul looked at the rest who were stealing cautious glances. “Would you like to hear what the Panthers said about all of this?”

Gaeul told him everything and Neve looked oddly satisfied. “I knew it was something along those lines,” he admitted. “The thing with Kieran definitely should not have happened. I figured you were used as a sacrificial goat too, but… I didn���t expect them to be apologetic about it, neither did I expect that the world would basically have ended if they let the timeline in which Seonghwa remains dead run. Makes you wonder just how powerful they all are, doesn’t it?” He glanced back, spotting them getting closer every second as if they couldn’t contain their curiosity anymore. He waved his fist in the air in warning and they scattered off.

“They’re… so young right now,” Neve sighed. “They would not understand how their actions have forever changed something in this universe.”

“Right,” Gaeul felt nauseous. “What do you think I should do?”

Neve glanced at the faerie- she looked torn. “I think the dumber decision is to choose the plain old death when, if you choose to live and restore the bond anyway, there is a chance you will eventually die.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost,” Gaeul muttered.

“But if they do succeed…” Neve was smirking. “It’s a win-win situation, isn’t it?”

Gaeul pursed her lips. “I’m more scared of becoming something I am not because there’s still a chance this could go very, very wrong.”

“You’re already something you are not,” Neve pointed out and she realised he was right. 

“I don’t know,” Gaeul sighed, biting her lips. “Death seems pretty appealing right now. San would never know I existed. Everyone would go on living their life and I’d move on.”

“You won’t,” Neve’s eyes twinkled. “Yeosang will still remember who you are when he meets you as a dead spirit. It’s one of the drawbacks of his powers- I know, because we share the same powers. And I wouldn’t forget you either. Not sure about Yena, but if she also remembers you? She’ll go to hell and back to undo the damage she has done and make it worse than it is.”

“And that is exactly why I’m not talking to her right now,” Gaeul groaned, feeling her heart torn between her love for the princess who really would do anything for her no matter what and anger because she did not know what to do and how to handle this.

“Look, it’s your decision,” Neve raised his hand. “I’m just pointing out the odds. It’s worth trying to live because you’re going to die either way- a clean death or a slow death will be the only difference. You’d actually be a coward to choose death-”

“You would have done the same,” Gaeul glared at him. “Can you imagine losing your magic and the soulmate bond?”

“The former, I can,” Neve sighed. “Sometimes… it is wise to be a coward. You should have let me finish the sentence.”

“Thanks for your help,” Gaeul sighed. “I’ll talk to them now. They need to know the whole truth. They deserve it- Yena deserves it.”

—----------------

Gaeul had just finished telling the others what she had learned from the Panthers and she watched them settle into a confused, somewhat angry but a bit satisfied mess. 

Satisfied because all of it finally made sense.

“I still can’t wrap my head around it,” Yena broke the silence after what seemed like an hour of letting all the information sink in. “Because I planted the dreams about Seonghwa’s fate in his head so before he died, he could tell me what to do to save him when Kieran decides to kill him. Does that mean the idea wasn’t mine?”

“I’m wondering how I knew just where and when to find you when you jumped back in time,” Yunho was staring into the distance. “I don’t think my water magic alone could have done that.”

“Right?” Yena huffed. “I don’t know what to make of it. I just know that I’m really, really angry all of it had to happen this way.”

“Can we make a decision now?” Gaeul almost whined. “You’ve done enough thinking- it isn’t that hard-”

“It is,” Yena insisted. “The Panthers said they can’t see the influence of your decisions on the timeline anymore since they intervened- this means there can be another path, another possibility we haven’t entertained yet. I’m not letting you risk yourself like this.”

“Neve,” Gaeul begged for help but he ignored her, drawing figures in the sand. She looked to her next ray of hope- Yeosang.

“Please tell me you see the obvious answer.”

“I’m with Yena on this one, sorry,” Yeosang almost laughed when Gaeul groaned loudly. “Look- there are a number of ways this could go differently, not just the two paths they told you. They’re not all-knowing. Give us some time to think.”

“Mingi?” He was near enough that Gaeul poked his arm for good measure. “What do you think?”

“I’m with whatever you choose,” he said with a tight-lipped smile. “Unless you choose dying because I’m not letting that happen-

“Not you too,” Gaeul groaned, meeting eyes with Yunho who seemed lost in thought. Gaeul waved a hand in front of him and he came back to reality, getting up. 

“Come with me, I want to talk to you about something.”

“You can talk here,” Yeosang narrowed his eyes and Yunho laughed.

“Not for your ears, this one,” Yunho pointed at every one of them and they stuck their tongues out collectively, making Gaeul smile for the first time in a while before she followed Yunho.

“I think it’s about time I talk to you about why Seonghwa asked me to keep an eye on you and let him know if things went south,” Yunho revealed and Gaeul gaped at him, making him shake his head. “I was quite burdened by the task, you know. I’m wondering if I should involve him now.”

“I feel betrayed but also pleased that you all care about me like this,” Gaeul smiled in defeat. “I was wondering who to burden with such a task again-”

“Gaeul-”

“You’re the right person,” Gaeul paused, facing him and Yunho looked like he wanted to run away. “If I choose to live and become someone who I am not… I would like someone to do something about it instead of letting me live like that and letting me lose myself. You understand, right?”

“This isn’t right,” Yunho shook his head furiously. “You deserve a happy, healthy and long life, Gaeul.”

“But what if it’s just not possible?” Gaeul smiled sadly. “I don’t think I deserve a sad, miserable and short life, do I?”

“You know what?” Yunho put his hands in his pockets. “You should fight back for once. I don’t like how you just accept things as if you have no will to live. Ask the Panthers to do their best for you. They should be able to restore your bond at least, if not your magic, with the powers they have. They should do that for you because they’re the reason you’re here now. And Gaeul… I was wondering if you had finally started enjoying life. Was I wrong?”

“You weren’t,” Gaeul sighed. “I’m selfish, aren’t I? I wish I could think like you guys but… you should understand I’ve never been able to be selfish about something until now.”

Yunho admitted defeat then- Gaeul was right. So much had happened to her ever since she came back to life and the way she had lived her previous life hidden from the world, forbidden from venturing into unknown territories even of her own magic? It was no surprise Gaeul found it so easy to give up on things. 

“You have something you want to live for now, don’t you?” Yunho asked.

“I do,” she smiled at the memory of San. “But not just for the reasons you think. I like where I am- I like what we have, even though we didn’t meet in the best circumstances. I have found a family in all of you, and I wish I could keep it.”

“Then try, for us. Let us be selfish with you for once. Do it for yourself and for us. And… I promise that if things go south and I find you in pain that you cannot bear… I’ll take care of things. Me and Seonghwa and Hongjoong… we’ll take care of it.”

Gaeul looked in surprise at Yunho- not at his offer but at his candid confession that he thought the same of her-

“But for that, you have to try living first, Gaeul. You have to give yourself that final chance. Don’t leave us wondering what would have happened otherwise.”

-but because he, all of them returned her sentiments. All of them would want her to live. She was overwhelmed with this feeling of being wanted, of being loved, and she found herself looking around, sitting at the nearest rock and sighing deeply, looking up at the sky and basking in hope.

Hope that everything will be alright.

Yunho seemed to understand that and he let her have a moment. Gaeul finally spoke, “I’ve never had someone do so much for me. I may not be the best at returning this, but I want to. I’ll try living, and I won’t forget what you all have done for me. And I’d like to do something for all of you in return, when everything is over.”

“You don’t need to do anything for us,” Yunho scoffed in amusement. “Don’t let Wooyoung hear you say that, by the way.”

Gaeul laughed, wiping her eyes. “But I’ll also ask you to keep your promise. If things go wrong… please don’t make me suffer for too long, will you?”

Yunho pursed his lips, looking like he could cry as the weight of it finally started sinking in. “Is there… is there a place you would like to rest at if it comes to that- heavens forbid it comes to that.”

“You’d know even if I don’t tell you,” Gaeul winked and Yunho shook his head. Of course he did. And when Yunho put an affectionate hand on her head to caress it and tell her the things he wanted to say out loud- to be strong, to face this with a smile on her face, to put her worries aside for a while and trust that everyone here has her back, Gaeul found herself burying her head in her knees, feeling sure for the first time in her life-

That she was meant to be here. 

—----------------------

Gaeul had made her decision.

For the people who loved her, for the family she had found in them, but most importantly, for herself, she made the decision to live and restore the soulmate bond so it would stop killing both San and herself. 

She could live with this magic. She could live being ‘the Queen of the Underworld’ as they were calling her. If she managed to restore her soulmate bond with San and her yin-yang element remained intact, she might even be able to tap into San’s power and share it. It wouldn’t be her own, and it would probably be too dangerous to even try, but…

Gaeul smiled to herself- perhaps it was a gift that her soulmate was San who possessed pretty much the same elemental power as her original magic. She would find solace in San even magically. Perhaps, it was meant to be this way.

Besides, her new magic wasn’t all that bad, Gaeul was realising. There was much more than wilting nature- she had a whole new element now. She could master that and venture further into the unexplored territories of her magic- hopefully, her magic wouldn’t have those spontaneous outbursts of uncontrolled power now. If it could get less chaotic and controllable… she could deal with that.

“What are you thinking?” Yeosang gave Gaeul a funny look, having spotted her smiling as they prepared to contact the rest and tell them about Gaeul’s decision. Yena had taken to explaining what they had talked about with the Panthers earlier, knowing Seonghwa would be distraught and feel the same as she felt- like somehow, this was all their fault when they, too, were simply chess pieces in the game of time. 

“I’m thinking that I wished I had known how much my perspective of life would have changed if I had simply been a bit more optimistic about the future,” Gaeul almost muttered the last part, making Yeosang laugh out loud.

“There’s a reason pessimists exist,” Yeosang grinned, “so there’s someone to ground the optimists.”

“You should simply be a ‘realist’,” Mingi commented, handing Gaeul a sliced piece of peach that he had found in one of the stalls in town and was binge-eating. 

“Wasn’t I a realist?” Gaeul asked.

“I was the only one with a remotely realistic perspective-”

“No, that’s me,” Yunho intervened and before the two could argue, Yena clapped to get everyone’s attention. 

“Gaeul- it’s time to tell San what your decision is and bring him here- Hongjoong should have explained everything to him by now.”

While Yena waited for Gaeul to exit the group that was pointing fingers at each other now, Neve elbowed her. “Do you reckon we bring everyone here? Just in case? The faeries and darklings might not be enough.”

“Oh?” Yena wondered. “But the Panthers said something about them having the same powers-”

“Come on, think about it,” Neve looked at the group. “All of them are connected to Gaeul magically in some way, right? Yunho and Mingi with ice and fire for the cold flame, Yeosang being a bridge to two worlds like Gaeul, and you,” Neve looked at Yena. “Gaeul can probably willingly open portals to the Underworld.”

“Seonghwa with the darkness of their magic,” Yena continued, seeing Neve’s point, “Jongho with his nature magic, but what about Wooyoung and Hongjoong?”

“The only elements that might be able to combat her magic,” Neve smiled in satisfaction. “The Panthers should have just kidnapped you lot and made things easier for everyone.”

Yena laughed at that and Gaeul finally joined the two. Yena immediately opened the portal, not wanting to waste more time- the rest were gathered in Wooyoung’s room with San, who immediately brightened as soon as he spotted Gaeul, waving enthusiastically at her. Neve opened the other portal to the Panthers and three of them entered this time. Gaeul explained what decision she had made and Neve told them how it might help with her decision if all the elementals were present. When they agreed, they gave them some space and Yena smiled at Seonghwa.

“Can you step in, Hwa?”

Seonghwa looked confused- he did not know of their new plan. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, please, step in,” Yena was jumping up and down with excitement now, making the rest laugh and when Seonghwa stepped in, Yena jumped in his arms as she hugged him, Seonghwa swinging her around and kissing her temple. Gaeul smiled at the two, her heart aching to do the same to San even though she knew she couldn’t- not right now.

“They’re getting busy,” Neve made a face as he spotted the couple kissing each other everywhere. “Hongjoong, you next.”

“Are we all going?” Even Wooyoung looked excited.

“One by one, yes,” Neve rolled his eyes, clapping. “Hurry up!”

Hongjoong grinned, walking through the portal and giving Gaeul a somewhat awkward pat on the back and telling her she did well. Next, Wooyoung came through, immediately crushing Gaeul in a hug.

“I’m so glad-” Wooyoung broke apart, squishing her cheeks and making her groan in pain, “-that you’re normal now. Somewhat. San couldn’t shut up about you so I kind of hate you a little right now.”

“Not sorry about that,” Gaeul grinned and Wooyoung left to join the rest of his friends, taken aback when he was the one who was showered with hugs and kisses now- after all, it had only been about 6 days for him while almost 5 months had passed for the ones in the other dimension.

Yena finally came back, looking the happiest she had in a while, instructing Jongho to help bring San to their dimension after the Panthers would put a shield around Gaeul so that their proximity would not cause her magic- or San’s- to burst explosively. 

San wished he could go and simply even hold Gaeul’s hand when he saw her up close but even with the shield, the two sucked in their breaths when they spotted each other, their hearts swelling with a flurry of emotions and their magic roiling restlessly inside them. The Panthers couldn’t help but strengthen their shields as they felt the shift in the air- a shift that made even the creatures restless. Jongho passed a weak smile to Gaeul, having felt San’s magic through direct contact, and steered him away where the others waited.

One of the Panthers grunted to catch her attention. “We have gathered faeries and darklings that possess the same kernels of magic that you once did, or do now. They are safe- we have tapped into their powers which will help shape our own magic as we try to restore your bond with your soulmate. On our cue, you must tap into the deepest part of your magic- but do not take one step further. Wait right there.”

“Okay,” Gaeul nodded- she had learned how to do that pretty recently. “What about San?”

“Once you are ready, we will bring him into the circle which will cause your powers to explode- before it can do any damage, we must contain it. The darkling is wise- or perhaps, we have been too dependent on what we could foresee to think for ourselves. The rest of them must tap into any magic that resembles yours and right at the moment when San enters the circle, they must direct all their energy into the circle.”

“Is that safe?”

“We cannot guarantee your safety or San’s.”

“But I cannot risk San’s safety-”

“It has been decided. The decision was not only yours to make in case you decided to restore the soulmate bond, faerie. The decision was also equally San’s to make.”

Gaeul looked at San in disbelief who smiled knowingly, nodding. “...How?”

San pointed to Hongjoong and Gaeul realised he must have been some sort of messenger between the Panthers and San. She made a mental note to ask San just how it happened, half tempted to exit the circle and simply grab him by his shoulders and shake some sense into him because he was risking his life. He chose to risk his life when he could very well have denied it. All Gaeul could pray was that if anyone was getting hurt during this process, it would be her, not him.

“You do not understand that your pain is his, and his pain is yours, as long as you are bonded,” The Panther said. “It doesn’t matter who makes the decision because the outcome will be the same for both of you. However, we only thought it fair to alert your other half that you were about to make a decision that would affect him no matter which path you chose. Even if you had chosen to give up, San would have lived with the pain of a dead soulmate.”

Gaeul’s heart swelled at the thought and she nodded- some things were just beyond her control and understanding. Praying one last time to all the forces above that things wouldn’t get more messed up from here, Gaeul instructed Neve on what to do and watched all of them take their positions, San waiting right outside the circle the Panthers had formed.

“The union of 3 worlds takes place- the faeries, the darklings and us- the Panthers. The trinity loop comes to an end for once and for all- the one that began when Kang Yena time travelled- a timeline where Seonghwa would have remained dead, the current timeline where Seonghwa was brought back through time travel, and… a timeline where none of this would have happened in the first place. Thus we begin to fix what has been broken, to provide compensation for a sacrifice that had to take place without the consent of the involved.”

Gaeul’s heart sank- it was finally clear just how messed up the time travel business was. She shivered involuntarily and the Panther told her to tap into her magic. With a cue to the darkling, Gaeul shut her eyes and muted everything around her, pushing every thought away and willing herself to peek into the deepest part of her magic-

Where it was so, so dark. Where an eerie silence threatened to swallow her, hanging like impending doom on her. Where there was no one but herself and what her magic had become-

And the lone spark of bright magic in front of her, moving around like a firefly, glowing a brilliant shade of golden. The magic that connected her with San- the soulmate bond. The one thing that brought her back to life, the one thing that kept her alive.

She could feel in her heart that she had made the right decision.

The magic moved around her, watching her and circling her, waiting and waiting for what was next. And then all of a sudden, it exploded with such force that if it wasn’t her subconscious but herself standing there, she would have burned to ashes by the sheer force of it. Gaeul thought it was beautiful that the last thing she saw was the colour of San’s magic, that the last thing she felt was how warm his magic was, before she passed out in its embrace.

—----------------------------

“Look, there’s a reason it is called butt and not ‘butts’. It is one unit.”

“And when we give a shot to someone, we just call it a shot on the butt, right-”

“But there’s two of them”

“-not a shot on the right butt or the left butt!”

Gaeul groaned, clenching her shut eyes as she tried to move her limbs but all she could focus on right now was-

“Look, it’s just one unit with two subunits, the left buttcheek and the right buttcheek-”

“Right! You don’t say the left butt and the right butt, do you?”

“No, that’s different, it’s two because-”

“It’s one, now please, for the love of god, stop talking about butts,” Gaeul finally managed to open her eyes, the lights flooding her vision. She could feel someone check her pulse, someone opening her eyes wide- probably checking her vitals. She pushed them back as best as she could, muttering a ‘wait’ before sitting upright, her head spinning. She buried her head in her knees as she tried to make sense of what was going on-

She looked up again, inspecting her surroundings as her vision started to clear. There were a few women standing cautiously around her. She didn’t recognise them nor did she recall ever being in this room- it looked like a healing chamber but where was she?

One of the women stepped forward, her eyes curving into a smile. “Can you tell me your name?”

“... Gaeul. Where am I?”

“Where do you think?” She smiled knowingly. “How does your magic feel?”

Her magic.

It was so calm inside her. It felt like she was breathing for the first time in her life- no dangerous gut feelings, none of that tickling sensation in her nerves that was a sign of her chaotic magic. Gaeul raised her hand in front of her eyes and willed her magic, wondering if she just had a very long dream-

A snowflake that burned like fire formed and settled into her hand in cold ashes. Everyone around her shifted uncomfortably- some out of curiosity, some out of fear of the unknown element in front of them. Gaeul looked at the woman in front of her who was the least surprised and it finally came to her like a flood of memories-

San. Her magic. Her bond.

She could feel something in her heart this time, something that resembled neither the doom she was so used to feeling now, nor the chaos, but something almost pure, resembling hope. Was it her soulmate bond? It felt so different now- it was not demanding, it was not overwhelming. It was simply there, waiting patiently, something timeless.

Gaeul sucked in a sharp breath. “Is… Is San here?”

“You’re in Prince San’s kingdom, in the Healer’s chambers,” the woman said. “I’m Jihyo, the Head Healer.”

“Jihyo,” Gaeul nodded- she had heard about her from both San and Yena. “What happened- how long have I been here?”

“You’ll know everything soon, please allow me to inspect your magic first,” she insisted and Gaeul nodded, letting her put a hand on her forehead. She watched her shut her eyes and go somewhere for a moment before she nodded, drawing away. “Do you feel overwhelmed in any way? Any indication you might have a magical outburst?”

“None, it feels very… different now. Almost new,” Gaeul said, recalling her last memory- the Panthers of Soca around her. “Is everyone… Did it go okay?”

“Everyone is fine, you returned safe and sound,” Jihyo finally relaxed. “And everything about your magic looks good. Welcome to the Kingdom of Cancer, Gaeul. It’s a pleasure to have you here, and San has been waiting for you for quite some time. Do you want me to escort you?”

Gaeul nodded, following her and pausing midway when she spotted a mirror-

Her skin no longer looked like death. There was life on her face, in the pink tint of her cheeks, in the way her eyes glowed. Jihyo grinned at her. “Like what you see?”

Gaeul laughed at that. “I just… it’s been a while since I looked like myself.”

“I heard,” she nodded in understanding and Gaeul asked her to lead the way.

As they exited the healing chambers, Gaeul noticed the details about San’s castle that he had shared with her during the last few days they had spent together before Gaeul had portalled to the other dimension. She loved the fact that the castle was more beautiful than she had imagined- the simple traditional style of the castle with all its grey and brown tones felt like it was meant for the Prince of Earth. 

Along the way, Jihyo pointed out the details of the castle- the Great Hall, the library which she promised to give a separate tour of later, the frames of some individuals of importance, a secret passageway that Gaeul wondered just how ‘secret’ it was if she knew now. Finally, when they reached the section of the castle where the royal family and guests dwelled, it started settling in and Gaeul could feel her heart fluttering, the bond growing restless.

“And that,” Jihyo pointed, “is Prince San’s chamber. Do you want the guard to call him out or let you in?”

“Am I allowed to go in?” Gaeul asked, earning a chuckle from Jihyo.

“Well, you are his soulmate. You can scare him to death if you want,” Jihyo winked and Gaeul grinned.

“He can probably feel me as well, can’t he?” Gaeul asked and Jihyo nodded, smiling. 

“You know what? I’ll go in and brief him. He’s not the strongest when it comes to matters like these. Meanwhile… oh, here he comes. Dokyeom! She’s awake! Give her some company while I go tell San.”

“Oh my god, she’s awake!” 

Gaeul laughed at the tall man who rushed towards her and stopped abruptly a few feet away from her, scanning her once before baring his teeth in surprise at the healer who warned him not to try anything funny before she knocked and went inside. Dokyeom bowed dramatically. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Cancer. I am Dokyeom, Prince San’s Right Hand. Do you know what a Right Hand is?”

Gaeul shook her head in amusement, anticipating his answer. He cleared his throat. “A Right Hand is basically the actual person running the castle while the prince sits on his ass on his fancy throne and pretends to give orders. It is I who is burdened with the royal affairs and the never ending duties!” He sighed dramatically and Gaeul finally laughed- she had heard all about him too and knew all about San’s court of comedians. “Now that Prince San has found his soulmate, my burdens will increase-”

“I could help decrease them, if you’d like,” Gaeul decided to play along and Dokyeom’s eyes lightened.

“Ah, I didn’t realise this could go both ways. What’s the catch?”

“Hmm… I’ll think about it and let you know, yeah?”

While the two grinned at each other, both suddenly feeling like partners-in-crime even though they had just met, Jihyo came back and folded her arms at the two, already knowing nothing could be done now that they had teamed up.

“Gaeul… He’s ready to see you.”

Gaeul gulped and the two practically had to push her inside. Once they shut the door and Gaeul was left alone…

It hit like the first time.

She could see San’s back from where she stood at the entrance of what she presumed had to be the living room- not as lavish as she thought but magnificent nonetheless. San was standing at the edge of the balcony, facing the sky- she could tell he was nervous. She recalled the first time she had felt him before she had seen him, when he found her in Wooyoung’s basement. This felt just like that time.

Slowly, Gaeul walked until she reached the balcony herself and then paused- she could now see San’s chest move as he breathed. She knew that he was aware that Gaeul was right behind him. Perhaps, he didn’t have the strength to move right now, just like Gaeul didn’t have the strength to call his name and make him look at her. 

She didn’t know how many days she had been unconscious here, but it had been almost 5 months in the other dimension for her. 5 months without San. She couldn’t believe how she survived that but oh, was she glad to be here right now.

So without waiting any longer, Gaeul walked to him and wrapped her arms, slowly but surely around him, hearing him suck his breath in as she pressed her body to his in a back hug. San didn’t move, didn’t dare breath for a good few moments, almost making Gaeul worried but when he finally relaxed and sniffed, Gaeul knew she wasn’t the only one overwhelmed with emotions right now. 

San paced his hands on hers- this time, they didn’t feel that tingling sensation, that course of electricity in their nerves that they had become addicted to, yet… this felt way more intimate, knowing there was no interference of magic this time. Just simply two people who had lost each other and found each other, over and over again.

They stayed like this for a moment until Gaeul finally nudged her head against his body. “Hello… San.”

She could feel him smile even though she couldn’t see it. His rich, smooth voice rang in her ears as he said, “Oh, how I’ve missed you, Gaeul.”

Gaeul sighed, unwrapping herself and letting him turn in her arms until he finally faced her and the two grinned at the sight of each other before they hugged again, this time fiercer, almost crushing. San rocked her body against his and they both laughed as they tried to find the words.

“I missed you too,” Gaeul finally said as she drew back, his arms around her waist while she caressed the soft skin of his face, pushed the strands of his hair back. “It’s been too long.”

“It’s been long for me too,” San pouted. “You were out cold for 33 days now. Do you have any idea how scared I was?”

“33 days?” Gaeul gasped. That was unexpected. “Just what happened?”

“Well, what happened was that you gave it your all,” San smiled proudly, pressing a kiss on her forehead that made her flush. “I was out cold for a few days too. They said our bond was stronger than any, now that it had survived death. And everyone who was there- everyone shared their powers with you, for us. So we could have a second chance. And look at you now,” He smiled widely. “You’re okay. We’re okay, Gaeul. We made it.”

Gaeul rested her forehead against his chest as she let the words sink in. She had done it. Her magic was no longer chaotic- it was new but it was hers. And her bond… “Are we okay?”

“We’re more than okay,” San caressed her head. “This is where I’m meant to be.”

“This is where I’m meant to be,” Gaeul drew back. “Thank you for believing in me, San.”

San nodded- it was the least he could have done. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, wiping the tears that left her eyes. “No more crying, okay? You’re home now.”

“Home,” Gaeul smiled. “I’ve always been home, San, when you were with me.”

“God, I’m so glad you’re back,” San hugged her briefly again before drawing back and cupping her face. “Can I kiss you?”

Gaeul’s heart warmed at the way he was so cautious as if doubting her need, her want to be with him. So in answer, she fisted his shirt and he wasted no more time crashing his lips on hers.

Again, Gaeul couldn’t help but be surprised at the fact that it felt just like the first time- perhaps, it was just the soulmate bond that made everything more intense. Gaeul moved her lips along his desperate ones, trailing her hands up and down the soft material of his button-up shirt. San picked her up effortlessly in between kissing, the two sharing a laugh as he brought her inside and placed her on the couch as if she was fragile. It broke Gaeul’s heart.

“I’m not a timebomb anymore, San,” Gaeul scoffed. “You can be yourself.”

“Oh?” San raised a brow, a devilish glint in his eyes- the first time she saw it and it made warmth course through every nerve in her body. “I thought you wanted to go slow-”

Gaeul arched up to kiss him, earning a surprised yet pleased groan from him. “For you it may have been some 30 days, but for me it has been 6 months-”

“5. You were out cold for one-”

“Shh,” Gaeul smacked his arm and San laughed, kissing her jaw. He continued to trail his lips down her neck, peppering kisses along the way. “I won’t break now. I’m feeling so different now, San. Do you feel it too?”

“How so?” He asked, sitting back and bringing Gaeul to rest on his lap so he could caress her head or kiss her as he wished. 

“Just… so normal. There’s no funny feeling anymore when we touch, so I guess it’s just-”

“Just the plain old nerves,” San smiled knowingly. “But heightened.”

Gaeul nodded. “And my magic- well, basically, I don’t feel like death now, but I also don’t feel so good.”

“That’s because your magic now has a new potential that needs to be unlocked,” San traced his finger along Gaeul’s neck, moving to her collarbone. “The amount of magic you possess right now is honestly crazy. It seems you’ll have to train like a normal faerie now.”

“I’ve had enough training,” Gaeul pouted. “Everyone must be tired now-”

San kissed the pout off her lips. “You haven’t trained from the best trainer amongst us yet.”

“Oh? Who is that?”

“Who do you think?” San buried his nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling before kissing there.

“Certainly not you… right?”

Gaeul felt his lips curve into a smirk against her skin and before she could take that comment back, San was on top of her and tickling her, her laugh roaring in the room. And when she finally caught her breath and they had had enough of drinking each other's gaze, San kissed her slowly, surely, one hand craning her face to his while the other rested on her hip and caressed the skin exposed from her top. Gaeul ran her fingers through his hair, tugging at it, making his kisses grow deeper and more passionate.

All night, they lay in each other’s arms, moving to the bed at some point. San caressed parts of her skin or her hair as she told him her stories of her time in the other dimension. They would share a laugh over something funny, wipe each other’s tears when they felt overwhelmed, sometimes interrupt the other with a kiss which would escalate things for a few moments. But it was comfortable, it was safe. Finally safe in every sense possible. They didn’t even notice when daylight started filling the room, though they didn’t mind.

They had all the time in the world now.

—---------------------

“Pass me the potatoes.”

“It’s right in front of you, Yeosang.”

“Did I stutter, Wooyoung?”

“My hand is farther than yours, don’t be an ass-”

“Just admit you’re short-”

“There you go,” San groaned, making the effort to get up from his seat and lean across the table to push the potatoes in front of Yeosang who couldn’t stop laughing now. “Kids.”

“Don’t you act mature just because you have ‘someone’ now,” Wooyoung scoffed. “You used to be the one-”

“That ‘someone’, Gaeul smacked Wooyoung’s head, making everyone laugh, “Is right here.”

“Ah, she’s here again,” Wooyoung muttered and Gaeul took a seat next to him, scoffing in disbelief as she looked around the table. 

“I thought this party was in my honour. Who invited him?”

Jongho was the first one to giggle out loud at that, making the rest join as they joked about kicking Wooyoung out. Yena even opened a portal to Wooyoung’s room while Yeosang and Yunho manhandled Wooyoung as if they were about to kick him back home in the most literal sense. Gaeul shook her head at the crowd, meeting Seonghwa’s eyes and sharing a grin.

The party was arranged by Wooyoung, ironically, who wanted to celebrate one year of ‘crime-free, evil-Gaeul-free, and sappy-San’. Everyone had gathered in San’s castle thanks to Yena and Yeosang’s portals. Gaeul offered to open a portal as well but no one was brave enough to entertain the possibility of stepping in the portal and ending up in the dimension where the Panthers of Soca dwelled- the ‘Underworld’, they called it. Gaeul had to admit that even though she was getting better at portal practice, thanks to the twins who offered to teach her in their free time, she couldn’t trust herself with portals right now either.

Everyone was still helping her train her magic- since there was no urgency now and Gaeul had learned the basics in her time in the other dimension, it was slow now. It was mostly San teaching her with everything else along with magic too- defence, offence, speed, strength, agility. Dokyeom was always there to save her when she got too tired of having San as her personal trainer.

Jongho and Hongjoong, perhaps, were the ones learning the most from her. Hongjoong’s magic was probably the only thing that could combat Gaeul’s magic so he mostly trained her on how to prevent her magic and herself from becoming restless when they came in contact with his magic. Light magic could nullify the darker elements of her magic but it seemed like it couldn’t do anything against her cold fire element so often they just researched it as best as they could. Hongjoong also took it upon himself to record every characteristic of her magic for any similar cases in the present or the future and they decided they would search around the planet for anyone with similar magic so they could make a more detailed record.

Jongho ventured into the anti-nature territory of his element and the two would often spend a couple of days together every few weeks. Their magic was probably still the most similar, other than Seonghwa’s. Gaeul found herself the most comfortable with the Prince of Nature, often reminded of her past while with him. Jongho learned that the yin-yang bloodline had a different method of wielding their nature magic and while Gaeul taught him about that, Jongho taught her how to manipulate her magic so it could still resemble the properties of her original magic and each day, Gaeul found herself getting closer to having a natural characteristic to her magic as well.

With Seonghwa, it was like exploring the darkest parts of her magic. In the beginning, it had been a little awkward as they both figured out just what parts of their magic were similar in nature but a few funny incidents melted the ice, such as Seonghwa’s magic accidentally creating a dark sphere around them, rendering Gaeul blind, or Gaeul accidentally littering Seonghwa’s garden with cold fire snowflakes that started burning the ground as soon as they touched it, making them lose all rational thoughts for a good few moments as they started stomping on the ground to put the fire out, later realising they could have just waved a hand and undone the damage. Yena found them a laughing mess once they put out the fire and she wished she had been there to witness it.

With the twins, it was usually teamwork because they were still learning the limits of their dimensional magic which each other while also teaching Gaeul- she learned that she could open a portal to different worlds in the same dimension more easily than opening portals in this world like Yena did, and since it was risky business they decided to only teach her the basics and leave it at that. Yeosang helped her with the consequences of being a bridge between two worlds- often, they found their consciousness in the other world while they slept. He explained that it was essential to be aware of your bearings at all times because she could unconsciously dissociate her soul from her body and find herself in two different worlds at the same time. It was complicated, but Yeosang was probably the most patient teacher she had-

Unlike a certain someone, being Wooyoung, who didn’t even have to train her since their magic was not similar in any way, but took charge of her physical training anyway, finding any excuse to mess with her. San would often butt in and smack his friend but he soon found himself sidelined as the two grew closer so he would just watch them spar with each other and learn how to build their defence better.

Mingi and Yunho were often together while training Gaeul, and most of the time, they weren’t sure who was training who. The three would always sidetrack while training and either find themselves experimenting with something else entirely or sharing stories and talking all night. Gaeul could now make her cold fire as hot as Mingi’s fire or as cold as Yunho’s ice. She was the bridge between those elements and since their training had been the quickest to end, Gaeul still found herself visiting Mingi sometimes to learn about the history of fire magic or just to have him show her around his kingdom which she had always wanted to visit the most since she was a child.

Visiting Yunho was probably the most relaxing- mostly because of her water element. He himself was very welcoming and since his castle bordered the sea, they often spent time at the beach with the waves washing their worries away. Yunho found himself opening up more to Gaeul and she returned the sentiment. They would often exchange water-messages- Yunho told her he could send a message through water bodies to any one of them but he couldn’t get a reply, unlike Mingi’s fire message- probably due to the complexity of water which he still couldn’t figure out. Gaeul was convinced she could reply back and after many failed attempts, her first message that Yunho received was ‘San thinks that there are two butts, not one. What do you think?’ which had him hollering.

Gaeul slumped back in her seat as the rest argued among themselves and joked, still teasing Wooyoung who was arguing back loudly and she shut her eyes in amusement- some things never changed. When she opened them and looked at San, he motioned at her subtly to join her outside, sneaking out without making a sound. Gaeul was sitting right next to Wooyoung so it was a bit hard to sneak out especially when he kept involving her but with an excuse that she was going to get a drink (which was right on the table had Wooyoung actually processed what Gaeul said), she got up and exited the Great Hall-

Only to be caught by the wrist and turned around to bump into San, melting when she found herself in his arms.

“Hey, beautiful,” San grinned, tucking her hair back. “What do you say we go get some fresh air?”

“Sure,” Gaeul breathed, laughing. “I think I need it.”

“Ah, do you?” San teased and they grinned, planning to go outside but he couldn’t wait and took a turn in one of the empty corridors, pinning Gaeul against the wall and kissing her, smiling in between.

“That’s not what I meant by fresh air,” Gaeul exhaled. “But I think this works too.”

“Works better, right?” San kissed her again, drawing apart to look at her with the warmest smile on his face. “They won’t know we’ve disappeared until Wooyoung shuts up, which is probably going to take another hour-”

The sound of someone throwing up drew their attention and they burst into a fit of laughter when they spotted the said man himself, pretending to throw up at the sight of them making out while the rest finally revealed themselves, joining Wooyooung. Though it would have been embarrassing, the way they were all making fun of them made Gaeul laugh until tears glazed her eyes.

“Did you follow us right after I left?”

“You’ve learnt stealth from me, you can’t beat me at my own game, Gaeul,” Wooyoung shook his head and San gave up, sinking to the floor and burying his head in his hands.

“We should have waited until they took it a step further!” Mingi complained. “I wanted to catch them right in the middle of doing something dirty-”

“Cleanse your brain,” Yunho smacked Mingi’s head. “Besides, you didn’t even bring a camera.”

Another argument started where some pointed their fingers at the duo for having dirty minds while the rest agreed that they should have captured this moment, and Gaeul once again found herself giving up, slumping down beside San.

She had never smiled so much in her life, laughed so much. Not one moment in her life where she felt alone or like an outsider. Gaeul watched them with fond eyes as they argued, San’s own gaze settled upon her and she thought that after all that she went through, all the hardships that she had endured, that they had endured for her, this was exactly where she was meant to be. As San’s fingers brushed hers, she intertwined their fingers- something that came so naturally now. 

Everything was finally right.

taglist: @yunnierights @monstaxdirtywonk @moni-cah @uyumilk @atxxzist @hazysan @bewitchedinyourhunger @kk-fleury @sincostansan @onedumbho3 @wooya1224 @icouldntcareless22 @jjaelly @huachengsbestie01 @ztjileen @charreddonuts @mdibby @gugggu6gvai @altgojo

#the end phew the series is finally complete! #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #choi san #ateez #choi san angst #choi san fluff #choi san smut #ateez scenarios #choi san scenarios #ateez imagines #choi san imagines #ateez x oc #ateez x reader #ateez headcanons #san x reader #san angst #san fluff #san smut

[fairlybeloved]

@makoblue

"You're welcome, Mrs Hopkins, don't worry about it. Don't have much planned today." In one arm, Zack carried what appeared to be a pile of groceries, while the other supported a decrepit old woman, back locked in a perpetual bend forward.

"Now THAT I doubt. You must be struggling with a LINE of lady callers, eh? You're such a good boy."

Zack smiled, their pacing painfully slow, but he didn't mind it. Mrs Hopkins was near completely blind. Probably a good thing she didn't know the one consistently helping her out was viewed as anything BUT the good citizen she thought of him. Rather, a menace to their fair city - and hunted, at that.

ShinRa was chomping at the bit to finally get a hold of him. If they did, Zack had no small amount of ideas of what they would do to him. He wasn't willing to give them the pleasure. He'd escaped under impossible circumstances and yet, freedom was hardly how it felt.

Zack's world had always been topsy turvy, extending far beyond what he could recall. The memories of the past decade, or longer, overtook all the ideas of before when things were simpler [those days that he sorely took for granted, and painfully yearned for now]. The ground had yet to resettle into any sense of normalcy since he'd gained his 'freedom,' as loose a concept as it was for the hunted. How did one go from stagnation to color and sound all at once? It felt very much like his mind and body were caught in two different places. He was living a splintered reality.

"All right, Mrs Hopkins, we're here!"

"Very good. You can just set the groceries down the ground where you always do. Missy will be along presently."

"You got it." Zack hustled to put down the ladies goods, opening the door and rushing back to assist her the rest of the way forward.

"Thank you, young man."

He had told her his real name on one occasion, but she never seemed to recall it. Now.... well, whatever name he gave her, it was false. Best for everyone involved, though he didn't see any sense of danger in that circumstance.

"I'll see you around, Mrs Hopkins!"

It was a painful experience, those brief moments of pure bliss, where the world seemed finally righted. It was just...

So NORMAL. So innocent and carefree, like everything might be okay.

Zack sighed, tilting his head back.

There was a niggling sensation in the back of his head, he could feel the tiny hairs on his neck stand bolt upright. He'd long learned to follow his instincts. How else would he have survived so long? Eyes popped open, body tensed, and his gaze pierced through the layers of the world that existed in front of him to find what had alarmed him unconsciously.

He stared. 

It was rude to stare and yet, there was no internal voice that demanded he look away. Gone was the fresh-faced dreamer. There was more than simply the physical scars that marred him. 

Cloud?

He stared, because there was often things around him that reminded him of his old friend [they'd been through quite a lot together, though he doubted Cloud would remember any of it].

Damn if the man ahead didn't look like Cloud. 

There was nearly a momentary retraction back to the past, where Zack would screech and jump like some rabid spider monkey to latch onto his back and demand he join him for a drink or an adventure through the countrysides they connected over!

He huffed out a breath, the burning in his chest reminding him of the need for oxygen, a discomfort that brought him slamming back into the moment. 

#makoblue

[grayintogreen]

WIP WEDNESDAY

It's LitMoR week gang! And I'm still working on this damn chapter, so here's a short snippet so I don't reveal too much in this chapter, featuring Fjord Suffering.

-

Fjord finally got fed up and simply cast Arcane Gate to bring them safely to one of the other halls. If it wasn’t the correct hall, they would have to repeat this nonsense again, but, for the moment, it was a solution. Cree turned to thank him and immediately covered her mouth. Oh.

“What? Yes, I know my hair is sticking up. It’s actually getting quite itchy.” Fjord scratched at his beard and watched in horror as coarse black hair flaked off in his hands. “…What?”

Jester choked on a sound, but began pushing people through the Gate while Fjord just stood there dumbfounded by his own hand. Cree had to shove him through, the force of dragging him through the portal knocking loose the remainder of his salt and pepper facial hair. Fjord stumbled through to the other side, swept off his hat and began to pull thick clumps of black hair from the inside of it.

“What?” He repeated, his voice rising in octave.

Keg wheezed. “Fuck. I think- I think-“

“Let it out, Keg, it’s okay,” Caduceus said, nearly doubled over, himself.

She was crying now, big fat tears tracing lines through her dirty stubble as she tried to speak through her quiet laughter. “I think you just got your wig snatched.”

Fjord ran a hand over his impossibly smooth head and gave a single, profoundly pathetic, “Fuck.” He whipped to Lucien. “You’ve been here before. Is this forever?”

“Never had this one happen, eh?” Lucien snickered. “Happened to me once. I learned to love it until it finally grew back.”

Fjord, panicking, whipped to Cree, who schooled her expression to help her sell the lie. Behind her the Tombtakers were nodding, quick to pick up on a group joke. Even no longer connected to the Somnovem together, they were still friends, who frequently existed in sync. It had taken very little time to fall back into those patterns, if one could ignore the implications of the phrase. “You pull it off far better than Lucien did.”

“Cree, this isn’t funny!”

She plucked his hat from his hands, dumped the hair out of it, and then placed it back on his head. “Yes, it is.”

“IT IS NOT,” Jester squealed. “He had such beautiful hair and it took so fucking love for it to grow and he had a little-bitty ponytail and everything and oh my gosh. Maybe I have diamonds-“ She started to rummage through her bag, but both Cree and Caduceus lunged to stop her.

“It will grow back,” Cree consoled her in a whisper so Fjord couldn’t hear. “I was only playing. It will return within a day at least. Do not waste your diamonds on vanity, please.”

Jester looked to Caduceus to confirm this and he gave a nod, still looking like he was actively trying not to laugh. “Listen, he deserves it sometimes. Humility’s good for people.”

She stuck out her lip in a pout. “If it doesn’t come back, I’m gonna be so mad, you guys.”

#wip wednesday #life in the margins of redemption #my writing

[vecnawrites]

Patreon Reward: Penny’s Introduction To Healing 3; An Error

Yang tries to be cunning, it backfires terribly, for multiple reasons...

Yang Xiao Long sat in her dorm room and plotted. While everyone who knew her (her family and teammates, mostly, the traitors) always said that her plans always turned out for the worse, she was certain that this one would work perfectly!

But to understand the plan, one needed context. You see, Yang Xiao Long was a futa, one with a sizable cock. She was proud of both it and her tits, but she knew that she had lost the tit game back when Joan Arc had removed her binder in the locker room one day, revealing breasts bigger than her own head.

Yang was a big girl, so it didn’t bother her…much. But since then, she had been having…fantasies. Ones where she dominated her fellow busty blonde and put those tits of hers to work wringing out every drop of cum from her balls. She had already dumped gallons worth of her cum down the drains of Beacon fantasizing about the act, or the blonde willingly debasing herself before her.

But anyway, the fact was, she had overheard Penny and Joan talking about “seed removal treatments”, which took her a little bit longer than she liked to admit realizing that the busty pair meant titjobs. The two naive girls were thinking that titjobs were a medical treatment. That was how the plan was hatched.

Step one would be the hardest step, since it would take discipline; after all, she would need to avoid orgasm in any form for at least a week to ensure that she had enough cum stored up in her balls. Then, she would make sure to take some special “supplements” that would ensure that she could last all night and possibly beyond that, to ensure that she could easily dominate her more naive counterpart. If she got Penny along for the ride, that was even better! Step three, she’d have to let them ‘overhear’ her plight, then lastly, step four, have a long fun night with one or two busty beauties tending to her cock with their massive tits.

Simple. Already, her balls were swollen to match the size of grapefruits, and they ached something fierce, so it wasn’t a lie that she was going to need to empty them a lot, and that would tug at Joan’s heartstrings and more likely entice her to help.

Grabbing the bottle, she opened it and poured out a small palmful of the pills (six, seven? Eh, it didn’t matter) and downed them with a swig of water, before going out to catch her prey.

~

It had been easier than she thought! She had been lucky enough to find both Joan and Penny talking in the courtyard as she walked gingerly (having balls the size of grapefruits between your thighs made it really difficult to walk…who knew?) by them, making sure to groan loudly enough to catch of their attentions.

“Oh, hi Yang! How are you doing? Are…are you okay?” Joan asked, her voice chipper in the beginning, before turning concerned as she saw the tightness in her face.

Well, her discomfort was in no way faked, so Yang sat down (making sure she spread her legs a bit so she didn’t crush her balls) and took a deep breath. “I’m…a bit uncomfortable, honestly. I’ve been really…backed up. I…I need help.” she said, her tone as earnest as she could manage as she felt her cock twitching in her shorts. She waited to see if they would put the pieces together. She was sure they would, since both were naive, not stupid.

Indeed, it only took a few moments for both of them to connect the dots, Joan gasping and covering her mouth, while Penny stared at her intently for several long moments, leaving her to fear that she would call her out on her wording.

But she needn’t have worried at all, since Penny smiled cheerfully at her. “That’s terrible, Friend Yang! Do you require assistance? Friend Joan and I are quite versed in helping with this type of issue!”

It took everything for Yang to keep her poker face, and not have a cheshire grin form on her face. “I’d appreciate that so much!” that statement also wasn’t a lie.

~

Yang laid on the bed of the ‘Study Dorm’ bunk, bottomless, her cock rock hard and leaking, twitching in time with her heartbeat as she waited for stimulation. She licked her lips as she watched both busty babes unbutton their blouses, revealing what must have been industrial strength bras to contain their incredible breasts.

A bead of precum formed at the tip of her cock and slowly slid down it, her eyes glued to the pair as they reached behind them and fiddled with their bras, her straining ears hearing the almost silent click of the catches coming undone, the material going slack before-

Her cock throbbed as the pairs utterly massive breasts spilled out, impossibly perky despite their size, another thing that annoyed her. After all, her breasts sagged a bit already from their size and weight but they were nowhere near that size!

But any fleeting anger left her as both turned towards her and started walking to the bed, comforting smiles on their faces as they made their way over to her, and took up positions on either side of the bed.

Yang was practically vibrating from nerves, sweat beading up on her forehead as she licked her dry lips, her cock twitching, her balls screaming in agony. When they just knelt there and did nothing, she finally whined and begged, “Please…”

Yang barely caught them move, before her cock was engulfed in hot, squishy flesh. Her mind blanked and she trembled, shaking and her cock, swallowed by the prison of titflesh. Her legs kicked out uselessly as she arched, inhaling sharply as pleasure threatened to overload her already, her balls churning and precum squirting out of her cock.

She bit down on her lower lip ruthlessly. She wasn’t going to cum before they did anything, she wasn’t going to cum before they did anything-

The pair moved their breasts smoothly along her shaft, and eyes rolling up in her head, Yang came with a mortified whine, her balls ejecting her first load of seed within seconds of being touched.

Her balls gurgled, before they erupted, Yang squealing as her abs twitched and her cock shoot out spurt after spurt of cum between the four massive boobs that were wrapped around her sensitive shaft.

But they didn’t stop, continuing to move their breasts all over her spitting cock, her orgasm continuing, her balls still throbbing and spurting out cum-

“Don’t worry, Yang! We’ll get all that seed out!” she faintly heard Joan speaking, her voice soft and caring as she worked her bust along her shaft, pulling gurgles of pleasure from the blonde on the bed.

“That is correct, Friend Yang! We won’t let you suffer!” Penny’s voice was just as earnest, just as kind, which made the incredible feeling her her breasts crushing her cock and balls that much more intense.

“AAAAHHHHH~!” Yang cried out in pleasure as she came again, another massive load gettisoning out of her balls and into the ravenous cavern of their combined bosom, making the glide that much more slippery.

“That’s two full loads, Friend Joan, but she’s still so full! We need to keep it up!” Penny said, her tone enthusiastic. Joan nodded to her redheaded counterpart, her face set with determination.

“Right, Penny!” she said, pressing her breasts more firmly against the redhead’s, adding more stimulation to Yang’s cock and balls.

Yang’s pupils shrank as bliss filled her, finally realizing that she may have slightly erred snagging both of the busty beauties of Beacon. Her eyes rolled up in her head as she came again.

It was looking to be a long night.

~

Yang screamed silently as she came again, her hips bucking, her muscles bunching, her balls lurching, but nothing coming out. Finally, after hours, her balls were empty. She panted loudly for breath, her limbs trembled from weakness and exertion, her tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of her mouth, and her brain felt like it was going to ooze out of her ears.

The ‘Study Dorm’ was a disaster. Not from mess (besides the bed, which was a complete ruin from all the cum), but from the utter stench of sweat and cum that exuded from Yang.

She faintly heard Penny and Joan’s cheer when her cock throbbed but released nothing, and she was finally, blessedly released from the mammary torture that she had endured the past hours of time. Her cock, immediately flagged and went limp, falling to her belly with a wet splat into the puddle of cum that covered her pelvis, her balls in full obscene view.

She heard shuffling, and faintly (very faintly, she was close to blacking out at this point) heard Penny and Joan speaking, their tones apologetic, while other voices spoke, firmer and somewhat harder (a prickle of nerves flushed through her, but was swallowed by the sea of endorphins she was flooded with) said more.

More shuffling filled the air, then the door closed, leaving only silence around her.

Yang sighed, yawning so loudly her jaw cracked. Finally, she could get some rest-

“Hello, Yang.” the sudden massive spike of adrenaline made Yang’s eyes snap open, instantly alert and fully awake.

Yang paled as she saw an enraged Pyrrha, Ciel, and Winter slowly stomp towards her, each of them armed with their weapons, their intent on what they were going to do with them obvious, especially since Yang couldn’t gather the strength to even roll off of the bed. All she could do was-

“Not the face, not the face!” she begged, terrified that the trio would ruin her as she stalked forwards, holding the blunt end of their weapons in their hands and slapping it against their palms.

The enraged trio moved forwards and swung their weapons down-

People all around Beacon immediately turned, and every single one of them winced, and those with cocks and balls winced and clutched themselves instinctively as an unholy screech rung out, followed by, “Yes, the face! YES, THE FACE!”

~

Joan and Penny, meanwhile, were cleaning themselves off in the Team JNPR shower without a care in the world, already looking forwards to when their teammates came back so they could give them their morning treatments.

They didn’t know why they wanted to speak with Yang alone, but they figured that they were going to ask her to at least let them know if she was going to need their help all night again.

Joan hummed as she took the washcloth and carefully cleaned one of Penny’s breasts, scraping the thickened cum off of her skin. It was truly great to have such good friends…

#Patreon Reward #shockabsorbers!Penny #Penny Polendina #Joan Arc #Yang Xiao Long #Double Titfuck

[lemongingerart]

Chapter 1 - Departure (II)

Fic summary: The second arc of my Armitage Hux x OC fanfic, “chocolate cookies and tarine tea”, in which both need to deal with the mess they got into (and each other, eh eh eh). Involves cookies that won't be eaten and tea that will get spilled. Same goes for certain feelings... they are going to be hungry ant thirsty 😏

You can find the link to AO3 and other chapters on Tumblr in the pinned message on my dash, both for the first and second arc 😊

Rating: Explicit. This is going to be very NSFW. So, Minors, do NOT read or interact. 18+. Family, friends and colleagues, please don’t read this. :’-)

Tags & warnings: TRoS fix-it (kind of), Hux!lives, Hux doesn’t like Kylo, Not a Redemption Arc, maybe a little bit, shameless fem!OC insert (there are cliches but entertaining ones imo), slow emotional burn, medium sexual burn, Enemies to Enemies With Benefits to Lovers, Hux is still a villain don't forget, Virgin Characters, masturbation against the door, pinv, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Awkward Sexual Situations, Past Child Abuse, dubious first kiss, Dom/sub Undertones, Mental Breakdown, Unprotected Sex, wet Hux, that deserves a tag/warning on its own, Minor Character Death

I will add tags as we proceed in the story, please let me know if I forgot one!

Taglist: @mylifeisactuallyamess, @morby and anyone who’d like to join 🥰

A/N:    Good day! This time, I have a longer and hopefully more interesting chapter prepared 🙂

I had some quality issues with reviewing this one, so it took me a while to get rid of them, and from all the re-reading I’m not even sure everything makes sense anymore? Their "discussions" are precious to me though, that's why I did not go lightly over them 😇

I hope you enjoy this chapter and I look forward hearing if I’m taking too long for something to happen or not 💁💁💁

Miko’s mind was racing.  The tranquillity and purpose she had found a few minutes ago, had been efficiently eaten away by her unwanted travel companion. That outburst all too vividly reminded her again of how dangerous, maybe violent, he might become. 

When she left the cockpit, she had opted to sit on the bench in the wardroom, her knees pressed up to her chest and her head facing the closed cockpit entrance. That's where she was now, trying to get the time pass more quickly, while making sure Hux couldn't come near her without her noticing. 

One of her datapads lay on the table to her left, the little droid charging right next to it, so she took it, in an attempt to distract herself and clear her head. 

Her fingers started tapping the screen with a seasoned swiftness, accessing PC’S processing unit. Inspiration hit her, driven by what had happened in the cockpit, and she started to program a new procedure into the little droid's core.

She looked at the cockpit’s door for a second, doubt apparent on her features. 

She was currently making sure that PC would record everything that happened around her, just in case. Both on Taris' planetside as around the creepy ex-general. 

The droid could wirelessly connect to her built-in data chip and to her datapad, which could then save the holo onto a remote location, safely tucked away.  It wouldn't protect herself at the moment itself, but at least she would have some evidence, should she ever need it. The last thing she wanted to be, was entirely defenseless. 

She sighed. The trip to Taris was short compared to their first one together, now that their hyperdrive and the nav component was fixed. But, given how quickly the atmosphere had turned as cold as deep space, she already wished it was over. The grumpy ginger's mood was as bad as the Kessel storms and she wondered how she ever saw something in him. Who knew she could've gotten so caught up in physical needs? And why? Stress? Subconscious desires? Whatever she felt back then, she definitely didn't feel it right now. 

Now, she was wondering if she could even bring up the courage to spend the next journey with someone as detestable as him.

“What are you doing?” she suddenly heard from behind her back. 

She jolted up from her crouched position and turned her head. Hux had sneaked up from behind her and had scared her to death. Or maybe she just thought he sneaked up on her, since she missed the sound of the door because she was still in deep thoughts about him and whatever dark plans he might have. 

She let out a breath, trying to calm down, and tried to ban the idea that he was being sneaky on purpose. 

'N-nothing special' she blurted out, aware of the slight tremble in her voice.

'I wanted to check on you to make sure you weren't up to something you might regret' he added, almost whispering. 

O-kay… he is most definitely creepy, she reconsidered, pressing the datapad close to her chest and mentally taking note she shouldn't ban the idea after all. 

The stone cold atmosphere he had just created, made her forget that he was more or less insulting her, again. It only slowly seeped through that, from his point of view, seeing someone so focused on a datapad, when they had agreed that no communication channels should be used, might've looked suspicious. Still, whatever the reason was, there were better ways to relay the message.

Miko didn't immediately know how to respond and sat still, watching him step to the pantry and wondering what his plans were. To her surprise though, he opened a cabinet to take or make something to drink. 

Oddly, he did have the decency to fetch something for her as well. Even more odd, it was the taste she preferred, given the limited choice aboard the shuttle. She stared at the mintea bottle in silence while it travelled her way. Hux sat the bottle in front of her, then turned around. She watched his back when he went to prepare his. It only took him a few seconds, so she had to avert her eyes once he turned towards her direction. 

Miko started to wonder if the rather worrisome comment he had whispered her way was actually meant to be a conversation starter, seeing how he was trying to act casually and looking to sit somewhere on the bench as well.

Intrigued by this opportunity for a talk, she put her datapad sideways. She focused on the bottle in front of her, still having the urge to be cautious around him and avoiding eye contact. 

After a small pause, he placed his cup on the table and took a spot to her right. It was subtle, but she could see him adjust his posture. Probably, he was looking for a more comfortable way to sit, because of the shot wound in his leg, she wondered. 

When he stirred in the cup he had chosen, the smell of caf and another sharp spice filled the room. He slowly took a sip, not looking at Miko’s general direction. 

Miko was utterly confused and - probably for the first time ever - didn't know what to say or do at all. He had the power to swing her mood to every corner of the emotional spectrum in mere seconds. She slowly became aware of that, and she didn’t like it. 

Still unsure about what to do, she mimicked his movements and took a nip from the scented water. She didn’t even register the taste.

After a short but rather uneasy silence, Hux opened his mouth:  

'I might have interpreted your remark about my teeth incorrectly, I was in deep thoughts, reevaluating our options and best strategy. I was reminded about the subsequent incidents on the Steadfast and felt rather… uneasy... I probably have misjudged the purpose of your comment. ' 

Miko blinked her eyes twice before she let out a relieved breath. Was that an apology? That’s…unexpected . 

She dared to look his way. His tone was even and could easily have been mistaken as confident, but the way he applied pressure on the cup told her it took him some effort to admit his error. The hardly noticeable body language made her feel a bit more at ease, it was as seeing him struggle with something made her feel like she wasn't alone in this crazy situation. 

She felt her mood brighten, feeling more on common ground with him, and found her usual wittiness back.

‘Don’t worry about it’, she replied with an overly cheerful tone. Although just a moment ago she was definitely bothered by his demeanour, seeing this new development apparently made her stupidly hopeful. 

‘I shouldn’t have responded so crudely as well. We’re both out of our comfort zones. Seems like we need to find a way to adjust to each other.’ she added, an innocent smile forming on her face. 

She eyed him sideways and he nodded without looking at her. 

He took another sip, so she concluded he decided the conversation was already over. She huffed silently and turned her attention to PC again, to check if the update was successfully implemented.

Her mind started wandering and replaying the conversation. This was probably as good as it was going to get. It's not that she was hoping for a normal conversation, anyway. After everything she saw from him, she was highly doubting that was even possible. 

The little droid bleeped, and the both of them looked up.

 'All fixed', Miko exclaimed, breaking the silence. 

Armitage gave her a quizzical look, which made her realise she didn't answer his initial question.

 'I gave PC a little update on his backup system, nothing special . ' she explained and pulled up her shoulders. 'I don't want to lose him if something bad happens,' she murmured. She wasn’t going to tell him what kind of upgrade it really was.

She saw the ex-general shift his weight uncomfortably, probably as a response to her clarification and the mention of what could happen to them soon.  She paused and tried to gauge his current train of thoughts. Was this about what could happen if they arrive at Taris? Or at the resistance base? 

Curiosity got the upper hand over caution. She at least wanted to know why he was risking his life - and by extension her life - for.

She took a breath and quietly asked: 'Why did you do it  - betray the First Order?' 

He let out an annoyed sigh in response.

'Why would I tell you that?' he answered with a hint of arrogance. 

She closed her eyes and reminded herself that she still shouldn’t expect a normal conversation with this asshole. Oh, he could easily anger her, but not this time. Or at least, that’s what she was hoping for.

'You’re going to have to have a solid story once we arrive at the resistance base. You might as well give it a try with me?' She said, using a different tactic and trying to sound encouraging. She tried to make eye contact, wanting him to open up to her for at least a little bit, for both their sakes. 

He looked her dead in the eye, but remained silent for a few seconds. Kriff , involuntary, his piercing gaze was slowly taking her back two days ago, to the incident and the shower, and making her breathe erratically. She tried to subdue the effect and hoped he didn’t catch the change in her body language.

She was about to give up on their staring contest, to stop the memories and fantasies from pulling her into a state of slight panic, when he finally looked down and hesitantly spoke. 

Miko wasn’t sure if she imagined a slight tremble of his lower lip, right before he started talking: 

"I…I’m not sure where to start." He admitted softly.

Oh.

"...Start where the first things went wrong?" She quietly enquired. 

He still didn't look up and hesitantly nodded. 

He sighed, obviously trying to think of a good way to begin this conversation. Miko suddenly became aware of the shift in the atmosphere, the air became thick and loaded with suspense. The man before her was digging into his memory and bringing up things he'd rather would like to keep hidden, she could tell from his demeanour alone. She contemplated if asking the question was even a good idea; seeing him become so… unstable… reminded her too much of that time he lunged at her. She subconsciously put some extra distance between both of them.

As if someone opened a water valve, Hux thoughts were formed into words and were spilled out. 

"I was in control, at the top of my game, and seeing a clear future for the galaxy.  Order, peace, prosperity under the First Order 's flag." 

His brows were heavily frowned. 

Miko tried to keep a straight face and not comment on that statement already. It didn't really surprise her that this was his view on the universe. What a whole different perspective than mine , she mused. She tried to ignore the itch she got from his words and reminded herself that he would be out of her life in a few days, worst case. No need to throw another argument, just because of different values and norms. 

He continued: "We had a good strategic plan, both in the short term and long term. I had to endure Ren as a competitor, but that was doable. And, in a way, he was a rather welcome respite. It was easy to make him lose face before Snoke. But I’m getting distracted.  The moment word arrived that that cursed old Jedi was still around, and there was a clue to his location, chaos broke loose. It was as if every single event just was planned against everything the Order stands for." 

He paused and stared at the cockpit's durasteel door.

"The whole Jedi-hunting offensive escalated into an irrational chase, regrettably distracting supreme leader Snoke and driving Ren even more insane and unmanageable. " 

He waved his hand through his hair, freeing the strands from the leftover gel. 

"I don't have proof, but I highly suspect it was Ren and not the jedi girl that killed Snoke. He illegitimately seized power, and by doing so he created a chism in the chain of command." 

Hux absently rubbed his throat, but the gesture didn't go unnoticed by Miko. She could almost feel the mix of spite and ire, but underneath that thin layer she could distinguish that something unsettling happened there, something that ran deeper than the competition he just had described. 

After a pause, Armitage continued: "He started a chain reaction, by following his obsessions he got lost in them and didn't want to hear that his actions were not in the best interest of our powerful Order. Other officers complained to me, but every single time I took action, he slammed the door right in my face. He took my advice as critique, not that that was different than before, but now he was the illegitimate fragging Supreme Leader and he still couldn't distance himself from his ego. I've always been better at making management and strategic decisions. He was supposed to remain the deterrent for any kind of rebellion.  He wasn’t supposed to lead us." 

He was clenching his fists now, and Miko could swear she could hear the heightened pace of his heartbeat. 

She had asked him for some context, and she didn't really know what to expect. But this was certainly more intense than what she could have guessed. 

He didn't look at her through,  and she wondered if he was even still aware of her presence. It was as if he was contemplating his situation and just saying it aloud, as if she wasn’t there.

He swung his head to one side and let out an exasperated sigh, before he continued: "And when that wretched message was broadcasted from the late Emperor, Pryde and his reserve troops appeared from the unknown regions,  much stronger than anticipated.  Their numbers… I am still flabbergasted at how he could manage to gather so many men. I highly doubt they were trained for something more than cannon fodder, they couldn't all have followed basic training,  but I'm getting distracted again. " 

He paused and gave her a sharp look.

"The fact is that right then, Ren saw an opportunity to demote me. Not in rank, but in practice. Putting more responsibilities in Pryde's hands, and eventually in the other generals. He wasn’t even subtle about it.

 And the decisions he made… I couldn't keep supporting them but each time I expressed my concern, it backfired."

He sighed and waved his hand absentmindedly. 

"I guess it was in one of these discussions that I started to realise I didn't recognize the Order and what it stood for anymore. Without Snoke or anyone from the original high command, without me being able to have a steady hand on the decision organ… the Order was drifting apart."

He bowed his head and frantically rubbed his hair a few times before he froze for a minute. He didn’t look up and continued. 

"And… then I made a huge gamble. If I wanted a stable future for the Order, I had to make Ren and his acolytes disappear. The emperor 's message was the obvious choice.  I had to lure Ren and his knights away, or at least let him lose enough face to be able to seize power as supreme leader myself. Putting pressure on him by involving the resistance and that jedi girl was going to drive him even more unreasonable, that's what I anticipated. But… I knew he or someone else might find out. Spreading this information could only come from somewhere high up the ranks, and I already lost favour. I just hoped I had time to frame someone else. Preferably Pryde. " 

His voice turned soft now, almost like a whisper: "But, ironically, he was the one who put the puzzle pieces together. You know what happened after that." 

Miko gulped and nodded. She remembered Pryde and could’ve guessed both generals were a close match when it came to being power hungry backstabbing psychopaths. But hearing him explain what drove him to abandon the Worst Order - well, not the Order, but the command structure - told her he wasn't only a damn well versed manipulative strategist but also genuinely worried about losing his home and ideals. Guessing he was a rather young general, the First Order was most likely where he grew up and grew into. He was losing the only life he'd probably known and the future he'd hoped for. Although her idea about the Worst Order didn't change from this elaboration - on the contrary - she did feel sorry for him. And that should probably unsettle her more than it actually did.

This was one of the hardest conversations Hux had had in a while. For the first time saying out loud that he had betrayed what he once stood for, made it all the more real. Looking for the right words, finding out how to tell her, and himself, was difficult at first.

 But once the sentences had started to form, they just flew from his brain like they were ready to burst. 

He couldn’t remember if he ever had been so earnest with someone. Even with Sloane, he used to be more cautious once he grasped the concepts of lobbying, negotiation and manipulation. This exposition felt like a confession; dangerous and relieving at the same time. Now, though, he realised that he was just staring at her and fiddling his fingers and showing a part of him he’d rather not show to anyone. Or see for himself.

He realised what a pathetic impotent mess he must look like, and wondered why she didn’t comment on that. She could humiliate him, throw in another argument, but she just… listened. Looked his way with an apprehensive gaze. It confused him, why she didn’t make use of this weak moment. Somehow, the fact that she was trying to understand him, was hitting his defences harder than humiliation could.

"I- think you might want to leave out some parts, but you sound pretty convincing", she instead whispered, while she continued looking at him with big eyes. She peered at him, trying to find something he wasn’t sure of, but the intenseness unsettled him. He quickly nodded and looked down, staring into his cup and trying to ignore the cold sweat that appeared out of nowhere. 

Stars , it was as if her gaze had almost trapped him, the way the amber eyes bore through his own retina and looked right into his forsaken soul. 

Humiliation would’ve been so much better.

He at least knew how to handle that.

He tried to focus on the caf in his hands, studying the vibrating ripples in the liquid. Wait…why was he shaking? He didn’t dare to look up again, unsure about what was happening to him. He tried to concentrate on his breathing, in hopes of making the tremble disappear. What was this? Was he angry at her, just for looking at him? No, this wasn’t anger… it was something di-

"When will we arrive at Taris?" Miko suddenly asked him, in a welcome effort to break the awkward silence. Her question brought him back to reality, and the trembling abruptly stopped. He didn’t right his head, though, it was too soon for that.

"ETA is 3 hours, so we should discuss strategy." He softly answered, taking the hint and glad to change the subject. 

She remained silent, so he risked looking up.

Miko looked at him with a smug smile. 

Did I say something crazy? He thought sceptically, but deep down he was also glad to fall into their recently developed routine of not always friendly bantering. 

She took out her datapad, performed some commands and started reading: "apparently, the coordinates lead to a highly populated area. From the available info, the meeting point is situated just next to a marketplace." 

Hux looked at her with a slightly threatening face, mixed with a hunch of panic. Why was I glad again? She's going to be the death of me.  

She caught sight of his distress and immediately responded: "relax, Hux, I retrieved this intell when we were at Utapau Four. I used Tagge's company network, put up a proxy, did a local copy and removed the crumbs afterwards. There's no way they can trace anything back towards us." 

He leaned back into the backrest of the bench, while recuperating from a minor panic attack and trying to maintain a blank face. She was young and maybe a bit naive, but at least she thought things through. The fact that she wanted to go to the meeting spot prepared, was surprising and strangely comforting to him. 

"Taris used to be the centre of the galaxy, thousands of years ago. The population could've been compared with Coruscant this age. Its population has dwindled though, and a lot of the cities were destroyed in several wars. The jedi war, the rebel alliance. The empire had to give up its rule on the planet and since then it's been New Republic territory. I should be wary of thugs and cons and take the necessary precautions,” Hux mentioned matter-of-factly.  

"What do you mean, "I"? I'm going with you, you know!” Miko responded, slightly raising her voice and eyeing him.

She took PC from the bench and placed him on her shoulder with a rather forceful action. After that, she stood straight, turned around and walked to the door with a steady thread.

What?  

"What are you doing?" Hux demanded with a hissing tone, before she got out of his sight. 

"Getting ready to gear up, of course. Isn't that obvious?" She huffed in his general direction. 

He stood up, felt his blood pressure rise, and clenched his fists. "You should stay here. These kinds of places can be dangerous. Let me do the transfer." He responded while slowly raising his voice and pointing to the deck. 

Miko turned his direction, crossed her arms and cocked her head. "You? What do you think they'll do if they see your face? Remember how my father reacted. You won't have the chance to do any talking. And… and you'll blow your cover!" She half shouted at him, before she continued her path.

Hux cursed inwardly. She was right. But he didn't want to let her go. She might get caught as well. He wouldn't be too surprised if that bastard Pryde might've sent out a warrant for her. And if they find her, surely he'll be compromised. She lacked experience and from what he'd seen from her, that foul mouth could get her into some real trouble. Including the type of trouble leading back to him.

But on the other hand, she did have a point. Going with her was an invalid option. Even if he had some kind of disguise, to get to the intel they needed, he would have to take serious risks. Much more compared to sending her and her loud mouth out there alone. If he could avoid those risks, he normally would, without thinking twice. But why has he thought of getting himself in the line of fire, before her, now? This didn't make any sense.

Maybe, it was because if something happened to her, he would be stranded here. All chances were on her succeeding. Or that's what he was trying to make himself believe.  Why was he so nervous?

He quickly went after Miko, passed her with large steps and stood still right before her,  blocking her path so she had to halt her movements. She looked upwards to him, an troubled expression on her face. Stars, those eyes again. Nobody has looked at him like that before. Straight eye contact, without disgust or fear. He gulped but quickly found back the words he was going to relay on her.

“Make sure I can trace your location and contact you without it getting noticed. I'm going to follow every step and action you're taking.” he commanded.

“Don't you trust me?” she replied, looking annoyed by his directive tone. 

Only now he realised he might’ve stepped up a bit too close to her; he could feel her angry breath and he wondered why he was staring at her lips right now. 

The droid on her shoulder turned its head,  mimicking her annoyance, but he didn’t register it. He did try to come up with a quick response:

 “I don't trust anyone. And no, I want to make sure you'll be safe. I need you, remember?“ he countered, his tone directive but his eyes still for some reason glued to her lips. They opened up in a small 'o', momentarily making him forget what he just said. Until his own words dawned upon him.

That sounded disturbingly awkward, he realised while slowly raising his gaze to look up into her eyes. And the way she looked back at him right now, confused and wide eyed, her mouth slowly closing, made it very clear that she misunderstood it just the same. He was slightly aware of how his heart was throbbing in his throat, how dry his mouth suddenly felt, and he desperately tried to ignore the confusing feeling. Oh by the stars in the galaxy… He had to break this pause before it got even more awkward.

He averted his head for a split second, looking to the hyperspace stripes through the viewport, trying to kriffing calm down. He then placed his hands behind his back, trying to find back his reasoning and returning his steel focus on her and what he still wanted to relay to her. He needed to focus on the upcoming mission, not on her lips.

“Look, if you see anything suspicious, report it to me. And if you feel unsure, retreat. Don't do anything rash. Playing the hero usually renders those people dead." He said. "Carry a blaster.” he quickly added with a stern voice. Getting back into his directive role helped to subdue the burning he could sense on his cheeks. 

“You know I can't and won't shoot .” she replied, crossing her arms with a bit of effort, since both of them hadn't moved and they were still standing at a few centimetres distance from each other.

Sigh, how can she be so stubborn about not killing anyone? Hux wondered with reluctance.

 “You're going to have to kill someone sooner or later, Miko.” He bluntly stated, looking down on her.  

“Maybe in a world shaped by the First Order, mister ex-general. But that's not the world I prefer to be in. So I'm not planning on carrying a blaster with me.” she boldly replied and looked sideways with her arms still crossed, the swing of her body movement making her left elbow touch his stomach. 

Armitage became acutely aware of how uncommon and awkward and dangerous this conversation was becoming. How both of them refused to yield, both in the conversation and physically, and he hated that he felt so bothered by her close presence. He never was keen on someone entering his personal space, but this was different. Luckily, though, he was annoyed enough to ignore the unsettling effect the lack of distance was having on him.

And annoyed he was: “You don't know what you're walking into, this is no playground! You should at least take something with you! Worst case; set it to stun. For your own sake.” He threw at her, realising how she was getting on his nerves again and wondering if this conversation had any purpose at all.

She was looking pretty worked up as well now, he could notice from this up close; the blush on her cheeks was more pronounced than usual. But when he mentioned the stun function, she paused, took a deep breath and looked to the ground. 

“Okay, I can live with that. I think. Not that I'll be able to kriffing hit someone with it anyway.” she mumbled after a small pause, while she was staring at his boots with a defiant glare.

He held his breath for a split second. “I’ll give you a crash course. Let me fetch some blasters and let's meet up in the cargo bay,” he stated, slightly surprised and relieved with her decision. He hoped he could at least maximise his chances a bit by preparing her for possible conflict.

A/N: I haven’t found any evidence whether Taris is in this timeline under new republic flag or not, so I pretend it to be allied with the new republic but rather neutral.

#armitage hux x oc #general hux x oc #oc x canon #star wars fanfic #general hux #armitage hux #generalginger #lemonginger

[thatfanficstuff]

Open Wounds - 9

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: uh...no.

You sat the box on the floor at your feet and contemplated your choices. You could bust the lock but then you’d have to fix it. The logical choice would be to pick the lock but you didn’t have your tools on you. You glanced at the window at the end of the hall. It wasn’t directly connected to the fire escape but it was close enough you could climb over. Shit.

You opened the window and leaned out to eye the distance you needed to travel. Eh. There was a ledge. You’d be fine. You climbed up to balance on the sill before transferring to the narrow ledge. You slid sideways a few feet before leaping the remaining distance. A clang reverberated from the impact of your feet against the metal of the fire escape.

It was unsurprising to find your window unlocked. Your dad was always on your case about locking the windows. You slid it up and climbed inside. Anger flared through you as you straightened. The apartment was empty. Completely and utterly vacant. You flipped open a few cabinets and checked a few drawers but you knew what you’d find. A quick survey of the rest of the apartment found it empty as well.

You left through the front door, leaving it open as you went. It wasn’t as if there was anything to steal. You tapped your foot in irritation as you rode the elevator to the main floor. When you reached the front desk, you dropped the box on the counter with a thud. “Where’s my stuff, Jerry?” you asked the guard/agent that was on duty.

“Oh, Miss Coulson, it’s lovely to see you.” Jerry was polite to a fault but you really weren’t in the mood for it.

“My stuff?”

He cleared his throat. “Several men showed a few hours ago with orders from Director Fury. They packed everything up.”

“And you didn’t think to call me?” Your voice had more snap than you’d intended. This wasn’t Jerry’s fault.

“This is a SHIELD property. Orders from Fury,” he answered with a shrug.

“I’ll be back. Watch my box.” You stepped outside and around the corner so you could make your calls.

Fury was first.

“What the fuck?” you said when he answered.

“Coulson. What can I do for you?” He sounded completely indifferent. Unbothered.

“You can tell me why you moved me out of my apartment with no warning.”

“That apartment is SHIELD property. As you are no longer an employee of SHIELD, you are no longer entitled to the residence.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Standard is thirty days to relocate, Fury.”

“It’s a courtesy, not a requirement.”

Angry tears pooled and you swiped them away. “That was my dad’s home for over twenty years. You could have warned me.” Your voice had taken on a softer edge. As much as you hated to admit it, this hurt. Him pitching a fit was one thing. This was another.

“Your dad is the reason I’m doing this. He would have wanted you to stay where I could keep an eye on you.” He sounded so reasonable. So caring.

“Fuck you, eyepatch. And your little assistant, too.” You knew none of this was directly Maria’s doing, but she had your number. She could have called. Besides, you always liked to channel your inner wicked witch. “Where’s my shit?”

“Basement. Now that you’re aware, you have until the end of the day to remove it from SHIELD property. Anything left behind will be discarded.” His voice had turned cold again. Sharp.

“You know what you never understood, Fury? I was part of SHIELD because of my dad. When I lost him I stayed because it my family was there. Then you all lied to me. Again. I’m over it, and I’m over you. All you’ve done is assure that I will never come back.” You hung up without waiting for a response.

Shit. Now you had to find somewhere to stay. A hotel would get you by for a few days but what were you going to do with your stuff? Wade would let you stay with him but it was Wade. You loved him, but even you had a limit when it came to him. Matt was an option but he had a giant neon sign outside the window of his apartment. It didn’t bother him for obvious reasons but you hadn’t slept worth shit the couple of times you stayed there.

That left Nat and Clint who were at the tower. Stark had offered for you stay as long as you wanted. You wondered if he meant it. Glancing at your phone, you realized you didn’t have his number. After a moment’s thought, you called Nat.

“Hello, младшая сестра. (mladshaya sestra – little sister – Russian)

“I need to talk to Tony. Can you take your phone to him or have him call me or something?”

There was a small pause. “Sure. What’s up?”

You groaned. “I’ll fill you in later. Right now I’m too pissed off.”

“Got it. Here’s Stark.”

“Hello?” the billionaire’s confused voice came over the line.

The corner of your mouth kicked up. “Hey, Tony.”

“Ah, Coulson Jr. What can I do for you?”

“Fury kicked me out of my apartment. Can I stay at the tower until I find something else?”

“He did what?” He sounded so indignant that you couldn’t help but laugh. He’d known you for two days. “Yeah, of course you can stay here. For as long as you need. Anything else I can do for you?”

You sucked in a breath. “I don’t suppose you have a truck I could borrow?”

You had Jerry take you to the basement so he could unlock the storage area where your stuff was. After he did, he handed you a small key. “For the weapons cabinet at the back of the unit.”

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “My friend said he’s sending a couple of guys with a truck. Send them down when they get here please.”

“Of course, Miss Coulson.”

You followed him with your eyes until he disappeared. Then turned to the mess that surrounded you. It wasn’t that things were unorganized but the stacks of boxes were completely unmarked and all the clothes from the closets were still on hangers and laid across the top of the boxes. You dug out a box and pulled your knife out and slit the tape. Everything was just dumped inside. No care was taken with packaging or placement. Son of a bitch. They better not have broken all your shit or you were going to be pissed.

Digging carefully through the box you discovered the contents of your junk drawer plus some photos that had been in the living room. In other words, they had literally just tossed shit together. That meant you were going to have to take all the boxes to sort and repack on your own. Leaving them for now, you moved over to inspect the furniture.

Neither you or your dad had been big on fancy furnishings. In fact, you were pretty sure he’d purchased his favorite big leather club chair when he’d moved into the apartment. It was old and worn and comfortable as hell. Frankly there wasn’t much worth saving and you could afford to replace it later with the death benefit you’d received from SHIELD for Phil.

You moved to the weapons cabinet but heard a commotion from the stairwell before you could open it. You turned your head to see if you could place the sound when a voice called your name. “Where you at, Junior?”

Why the hell was Tony Stark here? You stuck your head out of the storage area and took in the group gathered at the foot of the stairs. The Avengers had come to help you move. “This isn’t exactly what I pictured when you said you were sending a couple of people.”

He grinned and shrugged. “They volunteered.”

You returned his grin and motioned for everyone to join you.  “Well, thank you. This was unexpected to say the least.”

Everyone stood at the opening and took in the sight before them unsure of where to start.

“All the furniture stays except the brown club chair. Take the clothes and boxes. And please be careful with the boxes. I don’t think they wrapped anything. I’d like to break as little as possible.” Your annoyance was clear in your tone.

“Maybe we should repack it before we move it,” Nat suggested.

“We don’t have time. He only gave me until the end of the day and giving what a prick he’s been I’m guessing he meant five o’clock.”

“What the hell crawled up his ass?” Bucky asked, drawing your attention to him. You’d been studiously trying to avoid his gaze.

Clint snorted. “She quit. He’s throwing a tantrum. He’s worse than a damn toddler when he doesn’t get his way.”

You smiled. He was right. “I need to empty the weapon cabinet. I’ll put that stuff in my car.”

“I’ll help,” Bucky immediately volunteered.

You hesitated before agreeing. “Sure, Barnes. Come on.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes soulmate au #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel soulmate au #bucky barnes x you #series: open wounds

[charmed-henry]

Time To Go | Hollie

Date: 13 August 2022 Warnings: None Featuring: @oliversaluki

A quiet morning at Henry and Ollie’s house is interrupted.

HENRY

Henry woke up early that morning, like he had always done on Christmas as a child, but it was a different kind of anticipation that gripped him and didn’t let him sleep. He knew any moment now, they would be here.

And maybe it would be better to surrender himself. But Henry remembered how that had gone the first time with Clayton. It was a disaster. For once, he thought, maybe he could simply let this happen to him rather than desperately clamoring for the controls.

He started making tea, and soon enough, there was Ollie in the kitchen, like every morning. Henry felt a pang with the knowledge that this might be the last one.

“Morning,” Henry said quietly. 

OLLIE

Ollie didn’t know what was up with Henry, of course they had lost a friend but it was more than that. He wasn’t fully focused, he was sadder. But Ollie didn’t know what to do, they were connected by their late friend and now roommates. Connected by Ollie’s girlfriend.

That’s what their connection was. 

Still that didn’t mean that Ollie wanted him to struggle or to be sad. 

“What were you thinking of for breakfast?” 

HENRY

“Probably just some beans and toast,” Henry replied with a shrug, adding the cream and sugar to his tea and turning around to lean against the counter while he stirred it. “I’m not all that hungry, though.”

He looked around the kitchen, taking it in. It didn’t feel like his. It still felt like Eric’s. It was, perhaps, more Ollie’s than anyone else’s. And Henry thought that was a good thing. One less thing to say goodbye to. 

“Do you have any plans today?” he asked hopefully. It was probably for the best if Ollie were out of the house. 

OLLIE

“Probably going to visit Mason and Vivi. Ros and Rita have some plans so I’ll be looking after them.” Ollie stated as he got Tilly’s food ready as she padded around both boys waiting for her breakfast eagerly. 

“Did you have plans with the girls?” Ollie questioned, considering how quiet he was, Henry probably needed a good day with his friends.

HENRY

Henry nodded. That was good. The sooner Ollie left, and the longer he stayed gone, the better. Of course, he lived here, so he couldn’t expect him to leave for long. But maybe he could try.

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.” Rose was still in the hospital (Henry had not told Ollie about this) and Candy was still in California and Henry had already talked to Pacifica. “You should enjoy your day, though. Maybe just go home for a little bit, eh? I think they’ll really appreciate that.”

OLLIE

“At some point this place might just end up with Baby stuff in case they need to stay over or anything.” For the most part Ollie went there and distance usually wasn’t a problem. But every once in awhile he wanted to be home. And Mason was old enough to visit. Ollie just needed things for him to do.

With Tilly set up and eating, Ollie headed to the fridge to grab some eggs and start a breakfast. He never could get behind beans and toast after all.

HENRY

Henry chuckled. “I think that’s a good idea. Always better to be prepared.”

He took a sip of his tea, and for a moment, everything was quiet save for the sounds of pans on countertops and kettles boiling and eggs being cracked. The kind of peaceful morning Henry had grown used to living with Ollie, nothing out of the ordinary.

And then the sound of pounding on the front door cut through the silence. “Open up!” a harsh voice announced. “Police!!”

Henry froze. It was happening. He had thought he’d have more time, at least enough time to get Ollie out of the house. He didn’t want this to happen in front of him. 

“Oliver, I think you should leave,” he said, trying to remain calm, though his voice was shaking.

OLLIE

At the sound of police, Ollie was tempted to run. He had run from the police multiple times in New York. It wouldn’t be hard, he knew how to get out through the window too and get down. Running wouldn’t be hard.

But Ollie had to also consider the fact if he was caught running from the police, he could ruin his job. He could get a record. 

He hadn’t done anything illegal. But Henry, well Ollie wasn’t too sure right now.

“What the fuck did you do? You think I can run when they definitely have people around the building!?”

HENRY

Henry hadn’t thought about that. There was always a way out, for his family, at least. A legal loophole, a back door, a boat that they could hop on and sail off to the Balkans to avoid consequences. But now there was no way out. And Henry had done that on purpose, trapped himself here, because he didn’t trust himself not to run just like the rest of his family would have.

“Ollie, I’m really sorry…” Henry said, grasping for the words desperately. But there was nothing to say. Ollie would find out soon enough anyway.

There was more pounding on the door, and then another loud sound, and now Henry could hear footsteps in the house. They were coming. Henry put down his tea slowly, carefully, his hands shaking, and stepped to the front of the kitchen. 

“Henry Fitzwilliam Charming, you are under arrest for the crimes of illegal poaching and criminal conspiracy. Anything you say can be used as evidence against you–”

“Okay! Okay.” Henry put his hands up in a “surrender” gesture. “Let’s just… get this over with.”

OLLIE

Ollie could tell Henry how to run, if he knew more if he was willing to try. There was always a way. It would require using another apartment but there was always a way out.

But Henry hadn’t let Ollie know. He hadn’t had a chance to help him. Though if Ollie knew why he couldn’t say that he would have. But he didn’t know yet.

Turning the stove off, Ollie lifted his hands to prove he wasn’t a threat either. 

Poaching and Criminal Conspiracy. What the fuck. Ollie couldn’t even help muttering that out loud as one of the officers gestured for Ollie to walk away from Henry. 

“Is this how you knew Eric?” Ollie questioned everything starting to click, they were friends before this after all. What had Eric been into? No Eric loved taking care of people. He would never have been part of this. Whatever it was.

HENRY

“No! Eric did nothing wrong!” Henry said impulsively, and then realized he probably shouldn’t have said anything right here, surrounded by cops. 

But he couldn’t have people thinking Eric was at fault here in any way. Maybe the truth about what happened to him would come out. That would be for the best. Henry didn’t want anyone casting aspersions on him, though.

“Mr. Charming, you’re going to have to come with us. You are being suspected on the grounds of the events of this past week and your involvement in the attack on Thornwood Hall. You don’t have to say anything, but it may harm your defense if you do not mention something that will be later brought up in court. This arrest is necessary for a prompt and effective investigation and to prevent disappearance…” The officer ran through the rest of the spiel, and Henry nodded.

“I understand,” he said, glancing at Ollie. “Ollie, I’m sorry. You should go.” He turned to the officer again. “He doesn’t have anything to do with this. Can he go?”

She nodded. “We’ll be in touch. Mr. Charming, let’s go.” 

As he was handcuffed and led outside, Henry glanced over his shoulder apologetically at Ollie, wondering if he should have warned him. He had seen the look on his housemate’s face, shock and confusion and fear. But it was better that way. Less reason for him to be implicated. Henry didn’t want anyone else drawn into this swirling cyclone that had enveloped his life. Least of all Ollie, who had only ever tried to help him. 

OLLIE

The attacks? Just what the fuck had Henry gotten into? This wasn’t apparently something you could run from. Not like pick pocketing the wrong person in New York. 

Sitting down in one of the kitchen chairs, Tilly walked up to twist her way through his legs as an Officer stayed back for a moment. Did Pacifica know? Did Ollie have to be the one to tell her?

Did Henry have a lawyer, should Ollie help?

He didn’t know and he just couldn’t know.

But he was starting to think this apartment was cursed.

#oliver #time to go #im gonna be honest i tried to do research here but i probably got stuff wrong lol #ARTISTIC LIBERTIES #dont roast me #poor ollie lmfao

[feminist-minimalist]

Hey, so....

I don't know how to put this, but abuse and neglect is bad, guys.

I mean, let's look at my life for a moment:

I don't talk to my family. I either am or used to be in two different wills. I no longer care about that and went no contact. Every interaction with them felt hollow, superficial, and like I was a fucking accessory. Anytime I was struggling it was "here, have money" with my dad. Other folks, "get over it, man up, sticks and stones my break my bones". Then made to feel bad about it when the money was all he offered.

My family don't know shit about me. And now I'm just like "meh, I'm gonna stop trying." Blood of the covenant is thicker than water in the womb it seems. Not that I'm leaving my university apartment much. I don't even have a car anymore. One day though.

Also, I am at a point where people talking about their family irks me unless we stiching and bitching (using that endearingly, sorry if that was a bit too harsh). Same with people's love lives. I am hoping EMDR makes me a lot less sensitized to every thing. I feel like an exposed nerve.

I lost my job over mentions of rapists during icebreakers and my PTSD response. Got blamed for it obviously. I mean, yeah, I didn't act perfectly, but they could have been more understanding. Like I had a right to sue and everything and just went "you know what? I want to fix this myself and I don't want a court case". Not saying they didn't do anything wrong, not saying I am a complete angel either. Just saying...it's chaos, be kind.

With Epstein, Pizzagate, The Sound of Freedom, I have to say...ya'll...

DON'T KNOW A DAMNED THING! Like, I think in this case, Urissa was kind of right. There's a lot of performative support. Not a lot of actual support. Still, doesn't make it any less true that she could have gotten help if she wanted though. I mean, I swear by my Medicaid paid, telehealth EMDR. I might even try to be a provider for it later. It feels like an antivaxxer talking to a doctor who specializes in immunology. Just shaking my head like...."that's not how...any of that works".

I also still really really really don't want to deal with in person sex or romance. I'm way too fucking scared because of Urissa's bullshit. Hire a cam model a few oceans away? Sure. But a woman that I see in person? I'm like "....." Like I really don't see anyone I meet in person as "romantic or sexual prospect". I am *way* the fuck too traumatized.

Even if I do say "well, I'm going to lose weight" I still fear the attention that I had from women growing up when I was actually able to take care of myself for a few years once my molesting brother moved to the other side of the country for college. I still think I was pretty asexual growing up because of the molestation and after Urissa it just became this thing of like "well, here's some connection and here's a way to experience sex without having sex". Don't so much agree with the shitpoor Asperger's diagnosis anymore. I may have had symptoms that shared across for PTSD and trauma. Bear in mind when I reported my CSA, the CPS laughed at me and my parents' response was either no response or "this makes me feel bad take care of me and make me feel better!" instead of you know? Protecting me?

Eh.

Am man. Must shut down emotions.

At least, that's what people want me to do. But I am a rebel it seems. A very fat, tired, broke rebel shouting with his keyboard. For now anyway.

What happened to me didn't make me a better or stronger person. It made me fearful. It made me miss out on "normal human things". It's blocked me from connecting with people properly. It made me distrustful. It made me less joyous. It made me angry. I already was a sweetheart and relatively resilient when I could actually have what I preferred. But after everything. Especially after the PTSD incident that got me fired, I just...don't know if I can always be sweet anymore. I really do have a high sensitization level for injustices. It's made me cynical.

Oh, and my childish family and Urissa kept telling me to grow up. So that's fun. Seems like I had to parent them and whenever I didn't know how to handle a situation instead of saying fuck off they just said "grow up and leave me alone with your stuff, that's your job to take care of my emotions and my adult issues!" in essence.

I don't even call Urissa an ex-girlfriend anymore because what the fuck was that shit?

I never actually dated her. I trauma bonded with her.

Guys.

What's a date? Because I don't fucking know if I did that with Urissa.

I think it was more like:

Raymond: "Hey, I see you are suffering do you want help?"

Urissa: "Yes."

Raymond: [Listens] "Oh, by the way I gotta go do some activist thing".

Urissa: Oh shit, there's gonna be girls there, let me express my "feelings" to him!

Raymond: [Shocked, but I think "this is new, let's try it. My mom's dying and I don't understand why I just don't care"]

Raymond as a 32 year old: "I should have listened to the social cues of interest at the activist event and let Urissa figure her shit out. Not that I have that drive anymore."

I don't know. I regret a lot of things regarding women that have shown interest in me, but I never thought "let's have sex!" Maybe I thought "eh, I'll try it and they're pretty and interested". But I never thought that it was "for me" you know?

Also, maybe they just were like "oh attractive, but.....eh." I didn't want to impose.

Anyway.

I don't miss my family. At all. I didn't mourn when people starting passing away or having health issues. I just thought "shit. They just..fucking. FORGOT about all the fucking trauma I went through with my brother and his best friend and my uncle. What the actual...what? I miss my Ozzie cockatiel though for sure. I miss the financial support. But the neglect? The verbal and emotional support abuse? The sexual abuse? The dismissals when I confronted them on it?

Nah.

I mean, yeah, I still feel compassion for them in a very intellectualized, cognitive way, but at the same time I'm like "on paper, you should have been a great family!"

I wanna change my name, ya'll. I really do. And I wanna move to a different, more nurturing country. But, I have some healing and desensitizing to do first.

I need a break more than anything, really. I feel like I've been in survival mode for 32 years whilst taking care of people who should have been able to take care of themselves.

#gpg #goldenphoenixgirl #trauma #ptsd #recovery #narcissistic abuse #male rape victims #male abuse victim #asexual

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

Etheric Messages for 23 September ❤️🥳

People on here may or may not know that September 23 is my birthday. Due to the way the world is going, it has been difficult for me to hold high enthusiasm and any sort of hope for connection and community... But there are some days of the year that I get out of my comfort zone, and this is one of them. I wanted today to be as memorable and magical as possible, and I think that was a very big success. I rest (/hibernate) for the remainder of the year so I have the energy to see miracles like this happen.

I would like to thank those who helped me celebrate my special day, whether it was IRL or a small handful on Discord or Twitter.

Even so, everyone connected to my dream guides (Riku, Terra and Jak) all said something via energy perception. How does this work? I get a sensation and write down what I perceive on my phone. And so I thought an amazing way to finish off the day would be to share what my etheric family and friends said ❤️🥳

--------------------------------------

Terra: “Dear Karla, wishing you the sweetest birthday this year. Thank you for always being so kind to Kingdom Hearts and everyone around you. You deserve the world, and again I’m so honored to be your dream guide”.

Sora: “Hey Karla, wishing you an awesome year of 25! Thanks for keeping everyone together and I hope to see you again soon”.

Goofy: “Hey there Karla! Have an exquisite, awesome and fantastic 25th birthday! Hope ya get lots of presents and enjoy your day”.

Donald: “Happy Birthday Karla. Leave some cake for Goofy, he forgot to tell you”.

Lea: “Hey there sweet cheeks, happy 25. Hope your day is flaming hot and awesome. Sorry, I’m getting a bit carried away. You know what I mean”.

Roxas: “Happy 25 Karla. Hope you have an amazing day”.

Ventus: “Hey Karla! Happy 25th birthday! Quarter of a century already? Seems like we’ve known you for longer than that”.

Jak: “Hey Karla, happy birthday. Thanks for putting up with me and my rough ways. I hope the coming day is something worthwhile for you, celebrating it with your Earthly family and us”.

Keira: “Dear Karla, I hope you have an amazing birthday. Thanks for being a good friend to Jak”.

Riku: “Dear Karla, happy birthday to my spunky little dreamer. Looks like you really enjoyed yourself today and I’ m glad to have been a part of it. Best wishes from all of Kingdom Hearts”.

Aqua: “Happy Birthday Karla. I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you again for everything you’ve done for Terra”.

Xion: “Dear Karla, happy birthday. I hope you enjoy your special day”.

Namine: “Dear Karla, wishing you the happiest of birthdays. I hope you enjoy it with all the people who are special to you”.

Torn: “Happy Birthday Karla. I hope it’s a good one”.

Kairi: “Happy Birthday karla. Wishing you the best now and always. Thank you for persevering and reaching out to Sora”.

Mickey: “Happy Birthday Karla! I hope it’s swell and everything fabulous”.

Daxter: “Happy 25 angel cheeks. Next year you’d better invite me to the party!”.

Sig: “Happy 25th birthday cherry”.

Kleiver: “I can smell the cake all the way from Spargus… Fine, happy birthday”.

Aerith: “Happy Birthday Karla. Riku said that with your karmic belt coming full circle, you can connect to Kingdom Hearts guests as well”.

Cid: “Happy birthday who? Eh, to Riku’s not so little chap”.

Ashelin: “Hey Karla, have a great birthday celebration today, and happy 25”.

Aced: “This is preposterous! I have to wish someone I’ve never even met a happy birthday?!”.

Ira: “Happy Birthday Karla”.

Invi: “Happy Birthday Karla. Have a wonderful day”.

Gula: “Hey, happy birthday Karla. 25 is it?”.

Leon: “Happy 25th birthday Karla. Enjoy your day”.

Ava: “Happy 25, Karla. I hope you have an amazing day”.

Yuffie: “Happy 25 Karla!”.

Samos: “Happy Birthday Karla! 25 years old… What’s another 25 on top of that?”.

Pecker: “Happy birthday to Jak’s interdimensional protege. Thank you for making this year’s party exclusive invites only. Onin says to choose your friends wisely”.

Tess: “Oh my gosh I almost forgot! Happy 25th birthday Karla! Here’s to another year of keeping Jak out of trouble”.

#kingdom hearts #kh #riku #terra #riku kh #terra kh #jak #jak and daxter #happy birthday #dreamer #dream guide #ethereal #birthday #2023 #karla #musings #celebration

[practically-an-x-man]

Prometheus x Corinthian Playlist Analysis (Part Three)

This might end up getting long (or longer), but I'm going to try and get this analysis wrapped up in this part, so we'll see how it turns out. Here we go!

Heart's on Fire - Passenger

Notable lyrics:

Well, I don't have many and I don't have much/ In fact, I don't have any but I got enough/ 'Cause I know those eyes and I know that touch - That last line... let's just say we're starting off strong here.

And then there's the repeated refrain of "oh darlin', my heart's on fire" which to me makes this song feel a bit like a call-and-response. It seems to me like the verses are from Prometheus' perspective, and the chorus is the Corinthian.

(also, this is completely random but the chorus of this song always makes me think of the river-baptism scene in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. It's in the same key and and everything)

The Light Behind Your Eyes - My Chemical Romance

More angst for you >:)

Notable lyrics:

Never let them take the light behind your eyes/ One day, I'll lose this fight/ As we fade in the dark/ Just remember you will always burn as bright - Corruption ending my beloved...

We'll say goodbye today/ And I'm sorry how it ends this way - More of the Corruption ending here...

Sometimes, we must grow stronger/ And you can't be stronger when I'm gone/ When I'm here, no longer/ You must be stronger - I read this line as Prometheus's perspective in reference to the Corinthian, and the way Prometheus' return to the darkness leads to his own slip back into it (and eventually would segue into the canon Sandman timeline)

Cradles - Sub Urban

Notable lyrics:

I live inside my own world of make-believe/ Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities - This would reference their status as dreams, particularly as nightmares, living in the "world of make-believe" that is the Dreaming

I love everything/ Fire's spreading all around my room/ My world's so bright - More fire symbolism to represent Prometheus, of course

Hear the children sing aloud/ It's music 'til the wick burns out/ Hush - Prometheus comforts the children from their nightmares, but there's no comfort once they lose their spark - once the "wick burns out"

Falling Away With You - Muse

This could be a bit more angst from the Corruption ending, I think. Let's check it out.

Notable lyrics:

Staying awake to chase a dream/ Tasting the air you're breathing in/ I hope I won't forgot a thing - The Corinthian's quite literally "chasing a dream" - Prometheus - but in the case of the Corruption ending, eventually all he'll have of them is memories

And I'll feel my world crumbling down/ Feel my life crumbling now/ Feel my soul crumbling away/ And falling away/ Falling away with you - Back to the Corruption ending, particularly the Corinthian's reaction when he realizes Prometheus has been sent back into the dark - that he's lost them

Stay - As Everything Unfolds - This is another one where there's not as much overt symbolism in the lyrics (which probably means I should've put it in the first part but eh, I'm lazy. I just really like this song, and there's a lot of intense emotion in it that I feel is reflected in the fic.

Every Night - Paul McCartney - again, less directly relating to the lyrics, just the idea that they meet up every night and develop a connection

Calypso - Suzanne Vega - the lyrics are a little tough to analyze for this one, given it's in first-person perspective AND deals with an entirely different Greek myth than the one I based my character on. However, the idea of Calypso (representing Prometheus) reaching out for a struggling traveler and helping him up to his feet was enough of a connection in my eyes, and onto the playlist it goes.

All Eyes - Imagine Dragons

First of all: eyes. Enough said. But aside from that,

Notable lyrics:

Where the people are awake, to chase a dream that isn't real/ And we pose to be something that we're not - Oh boy, so much here. The reference to dreams, and then the "posing to be something we're not", the in-between stage between full-dream and full-nightmare, the initial gathering of that spark...

Now, will the sun come up tonight?/ Because your eyes, they burn so bright/ I'm all you've got when you say that you want it all - Now the "sun" obviously would reference Prometheus, but as far as the "burning eyes"... I'll leave that up to you to decide. It is the Corinthian speaking to Prometheus? Is it the reverse, particularly in the Redemption ending? Who knows?

Burn Out - Imagine Dragons

Notable lyrics:

It's just another downpour, don't let it get the best of you/ It's only up from the floor, light everything inside of you/ Don't burn out, don't burn out on me - To me, this is the Corruption ending - "Find the light."

(and no, I did not think about how similar that is to "Beware the light" from Logan when I wrote it... whoops. My favorite fandom snuck up on me, actor and all...)

Icarus - Bastille

Notable lyrics:

Your hands protect the flames/ From the wild winds around you - This is Prometheus, of course, protecting the light and the dreamers from the "wild winds" of the surrounding nightmares

You put up your defenses when you leave/ You leave because you're certain/ Of who you want to be - I love this line in particular because it really could be both the Corruption ending or the Redemption ending - either leaving the Dreaming itself and choosing "who you want to be" in that darker sense, or leaving the act of being a nightmare and choosing to be a dream instead.

Two more songs! Almost done!

My Selene - Sonata Arctica

This is another song where it feels like just about every single lyric could link back to this story, and I'd absolutely recommend it! This almost reads as a personification of the story itself, but here's the thing - I'd never heard of this song when I wrote it, I only listened to it for the first time today!

Notable lyrics:

But until we unite/ I live for that night/ Wait for time/ Two souls entwine/ In the break of new dawn - Much like Every Night and a few of the other songs, this line mainly relates to the development of their relationship as they meet every night

Shadows they will fade/ But I'm always in the shade/ Without you... - And we're back to the Corruption ending, I suppose. There's also a line later on that reads "I'm still alone in the dead of night" that calls back to this one.

Hidden from daylight I'm sealed in my cave/ Trapped in a dream that is slowly turning to nightmare/ Where I'm all alone - LOOK AT THIS! Just look at it! I don't think there's a single more fitting line in this entire analysis, because this is just the entire fic right here! Or at least the Corruption ending of it!

Venial is life when you're but a dream/ The book is still open the pages as empty as me - This line is a little less about the fic itself, but the books In Lucienne's library do go blank when Morpheus is captured, so it still links to Sandman. And of course, the personification of a dream, which is the chief note of the story

This is my final call/ My evenfall/ Drowning into time/ I become the night/ By the light of new day/ I'll fade away - This would be Prometheus' descent back into the darkness, right at the start of the Corruption ending

Leave the City - Twenty One Pilots

I could put just about every lyric of this song into this analysis, which means it's really a perfect one to end on. And so rather than typing out all of the lyrics for you, I'd recommend that you listen to the song, look up the lyrics yourself, soak up the harmonies, and think about the themes of the story as you listen. Perhaps think of the Corruption ending as you listen, or perhaps think of the Redemption ending. It's a bittersweet and uncertain song, perfect for a story with two endings. And this is where I'll leave you.

And that concludes this playlist and its analysis! I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you'll consider either taking a listen or reading the fic itself (or, if you're feeling generous, maybe both?). Have a wonderful day, friends!

(Part One) (Part Two)

#prometheus playlist analysis #character playlist #prometheus part three #Spotify #fandom #fanfic #fanfic author #the sandman netflix

[orioo]

Name for N6 + Official Designs and Ages for Main6!

SO! i know i said i’d stop for today. i swear i tried, i really did try to stop brainstorming, but i just couldn’t ... 

anywayssss this resulted in me messing around with some Fantasy Name Generator i found on google and ... well. our lovely N6, demi-goddess, mender N6, now has a name! she has been baptized everybody! from this day forth, N6 shall be called .... DRUMROLLS PLEASE! *drumrolls, drumrolls* Phala !!!!

i looked through so many goddess names that i started seeing blurry for a few minutes, but it was absolutely worth it. ahh, the second i saw the name, top of the 10-names list, i connected with it on a spiritual level never before felt by yours truly. Phala. phala phala phalalalalalalalala

it said there that this name actually means Goddess of Commerce, which ... uhhhh. i don’t really know how accurate this would be for my Phala, but eh, the name is pretty, and its fit for a goddess, what more do we need?

and now. even more exciting news everybody! after frying my eyes on that darned website full of text, i decide to move onto another three darned websites - but full of images this time. i’m not talented in the art-drawing-painting-designing department at all, so i knew i had to resort to some other solution in order to give you guys a proper visual to the main6, soooooo .... picrew!

i used 3 different sites for each of their designs, so you can imagine how much of a toll this had (has) on my eyes ToT but everything for my dears. another reason i designed them 6 each on 3 different sites is beacsue i wanted to get the most accurate depiction i could :D also, tiny details such as moles, earrings, scars etc. aren’t alwayd available on every site, so i’ll make sure to specify for everybody in particular what peculiarity they may have ^^ all in all, it’s up to each and everyone of you to imagine them as you may please, this is me, the creator of this story, doing just that in hopes of making your job easier, haha

Official Designs and Ages for Main6

(just as a small a/n: the ages specified here are the ones the characters start out with at the very beginning of the story. if time passes, i’ll announce how much it was and each character’s current age. only when/if that happens though. for now, enjoy~)

Filip - the Prince - 24 years old (born on march 3rd)

Filip has a mole on the left side of his face, below his lip

he has a torn left eyebrow, but it doesn’t show because of his longer bangs - as a scar would be seen as rebelious, unfit for a prince

the closest i could get to his desired design in terms of hair and eye color is in the middle pic. i know the other pics are kindy funky with their colors heh (he still looks good though, dammit!) 

he is very stylish, and especially revels in warm colors, such as white, cream, brown etc. vitage style baby

Kaji - the Bodyguard - 19 years old (born on november 13th)

Kaji is the redhead of my cast. end of story (the shade of it is slightly redder than the 3rd pic and slightly less red than the 2nd pic, just enough for his elemental hair stripe to be noticeable)

unfortunately, the first site i used lacked both a short ponytail, which is what he preferrs to wear his hair like, and a nice shade of red. dissappointing, but not unexpected.

he has piercings. boy went through a rough time, and rebeling was a coping method for him

he has a scar on his left cheek, starting from his jaw all the way up to right below his eye. backstory on that tba

violet eyes!

yes, he smokes. tries to stop, dunno if he manages. Filip always makes sure to lecture him on how unhealthy it is.

he likes turtlenecks!

although he wears his hair tied in a low ponytail 98% of the times, in the last pic you can have a glimpse of his hair down :D

Shreya - the Mommy Mercenary - 26 years old (born on december 20th)

some may say that longer hair gets in their way during the heat of battles, but Shreya? nah, her hair is is her treasure. that way, she can achieve victory and have her hair flutter heroically in the wind!

dark, green eyes

silver jewelry! i switched my mind on it halfway through, since i initially wanted her to wear gold to complement her earth amulet, but yellow is Piper′s thing. she can keep her lovely jewelry silver

charming smile shining through!

loves green! loves plants and nature! she’s been travelling since forever and only the plants have been a constant companion in her journeys

Milo - the “Brawns” - 18 years old (born april 1st)

tanned skin since he spends so much time out in the sun, adventuring!

he has barely visible freckles. and almost a permanent blush? makes it seem like he’s the one getitng flirted with, jeez

pearly white hair !! tried growing it out at some point but since he cut it, Piper must’ve made fun of him or something (or maybe she just wanted them to match?)

loves sea creatures. doesn’t even have correlation with his amulet, he just loves sea creatures. growing up in a family of fishermen does things to a youngster

he doesn’t like talking about it, but the only reason he has pierced ears is because his older sister told him that earrings would make him more attractive to girls. he took her word on it and didn’t shed a tear as his ears were pierced! (...okay, maybe one tear...)

Phala reassured him that earrings fit him and made him seem softer, which is indeed appealing to most people. didn’t specify girls. he agreed with it. maybe he understood her memmo, maybe he was hypnotized by her beauty. neither of them know for sure

in the last pic you can see his staff fully extended, held onto his back! it’s usually conpacted into a 4th of its entirety though. in the same pic you can also see his amulet tied to the necklace he found!

Piper - the “Brains” - 17 years old (born on 5th october)

she’s so pale, it’s a wonder she’s a full-time adventurer and doesn’t get sunburnt!

her amber eyes matches her blonde hair! very pretty <3

she started wearing eyeglasses when she was very young, thinking it would help her focus on her studies, then actually started needing them to be able to read ... yickes

loves yellow! air might be her element, but she’ll never abandon her fondness for this color. she even asked Shreya to switch the representative colors with her; Shreya loves green so the trade was successful!

when she was younger, she had way longer hair, but in recent years she became keen on mullets and eventually cut her own hair into one, or something similar to it, anyways. it makes her look like a geek, but she actually is one, so she doesn’t mind!

she wears a yellow cloth headband on the side of which she tied her amulet aswell as -slight spoiler ahead!- 2 longer white feathers from her parakeet, angled downwards and curling behind her ear, exactly like in the last pic (imagine the feathers are attached to her headband, not earrings)

Phala - ??? years old, seemingly 23 years old (born on august 24th)

her hair is most accurately represented by the 2nd pic, both in shade and in shape

her skin tone is very similar to Milo′s

she has silver eyes <3

she has a beauty mark slightly beneat her left eye, just like in the last pictures (fun fact: it was originally beneath her right eye, but i let myself be coerced by the sites...)

pretty earrings! she only got them after her awakening in the present times, but she loves them as if they have been lifelong companions.

must be why she appreciated Milo having earrings too? also, she openly expresses how lovely she thinks Kaji′s piercings are, but he only seems to frown and uneasily poke at them whenever she praises them, maybe he doesn’t like them? but then why did he get so many? ah, human teens are weird. best leave it unquestioned or hunt down Filip for answers -  he always seems to have them.

the sites used for the pictures are as follows:

1. https://picrew.me/image_maker/684058

2. https://picrew.me/image_maker/197705

3. https://picrew.me/image_maker/582810

that was that lovely readers! it’s very late here for me, so i’ll end it short and head to bed; my eyes desperately need the rest. i hope the images helped you better visualise each character and hopefully, maybe even connect to them more? does anybody has any favorites yet? i personally can’t choose, i got attached to all of them so much ToT Piper has a really soft spot reserved in my heart though, must protect <3 but then again, have you seen Milo? and don’t get me started on Phala .... but Kaji was originally my favorite... and let’s not forget our tourist attractions, Filip and Shreya UGH they’re so fine

yeah, that was all. sweet dreams~!

[is-very-sad]

Contains religious themes, existential dread/cosmic horror, what even is reality? Talks of death, slight suicide/death ideation in a cult-ish way

Please try not to think this way, life may be hard at times but I believe it's worth living. Please don't hurt yourself if you can help it, someone cares even if it's a stranger with a good heart.

Tagging @definesanity, who hopefully won't mind that I skipped Yae Miko bc I legit don't know anything about her besides fox ears😅

Took some liberties with Hu Tao; decided she'd be weird even by cult standards

Also she's not really scared, bc again, weird lmao (and this is the inspiration I had so I went with it)

Baal.

The Raiden Shogun.

Electro archon.

She believed, in her arrogance, that she'd seen anything worth seeing for the fist time. That no new experience existed for her, or at least none that would mean anything in the next millennia.

It is only natural that the God of Gods would see things that would crush all ego.

Truth be told; she doesn't know what she saw. A deep look into their eyes with the promise of a gift. She had accepted without hesitation as any should.

But everything had hurt beyond what was logical. Had she seen the universe? The fabric of reality? Fundamental laws she couldn't comprehend? The true nature of the God she loved?

When she awoke days later, she knew that she'd always be cursed by the hauntings of knowledge she couldn't possibly retain. And that she'd learned her place inescapable.

She is the great Shogun, yet she nearly broke beneath whatever glimpse of truth you'd given her. She is yours.

She always was.

She always will be.

In every time and place.

Praying and cowering in equal parts worshipful awe and crippling dread.

...

Hu Tao was always an odd one out. Everyone in Liyue and a surprisingly large number of people outside of it knew her to be eccentric. Word of mouth always painted her as a strange person who seemed to worship the morbid sides of the God of Gods more than the benevolent parts.

So when said deity descended upon their land in their current form; it was met with confusion but little surprise when she took to them arguably better than the archons themselves.

Hu Tao was chirping, nearly vibrating as she rambled on about how beautiful she finds funerals to be. If people let her make their funerals about tribute to life instead of dreary sorrow and grief maybe they'd agree! It's not her fault people hear "funeral" and automatically think of black cloaks and mourning family..

"Indeed, perhaps I should give more guidance, show people how to enjoy the memories of what they had.."

What a wise God, always knowing just what to say to uplift the faithful.

A tilt of a beautiful face. The most beautiful face as far as the funeral director cared.

"Perhaps a brief example of the beauty of death would be good?"

...

Eh?

And then the sky turned black.

All turned black.

Had she been killed? She should be terrified, or cold, or something. She thinks. Yet all the young lady knows now is peace. Darker than dark nothing caresses her, connected by flashes of memories. Zhongli rolling his eyes at her. A fight with treasure hoarders while she was traveling once. Every sorrow and elation condensed into a state of being.

And then people shouting is heard.

She blinks, and she's no longer whole. The sun shines again as nearby citizens are on their knees and backs.

"Hm, seems there's still a bridge to cross,"

But Hu Tao is no longer listening, she's staring at the eyes of a God. She can feel the life and the death in their very being.

She can feel how the dark in them wants her. Just as it wants everything and everyone the spark brings into being.

She longes for it in kind.

But the texts teach that going into that dark before your time is a tragedy, and she'd never desire to hurt her friends, or her God. So she'll wait, she'll worship, until it's her turn to go.

#sagau #genshin cult au #genshin impact #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #genshin #genshin impact cult au #genshin sagau #cult genshin au #sagau x reader #Eldritch darling #raiden shogun #hu tao #tw: sui ideation #tw: suidice #tw: sui mention #tw: sui thoughts #my stuff

[virtual-luvr]

Morning Cuddles

Pairing: Howl x Reader

Pronouns: he/him

Content: calcifer rambling, domestic, G A Y

Description: domestic mlm, chefs kiss

Note: I watched Howls Moving Castle a few days ago and he gave me such big mlm vibes that I had to do this immediately.

------------------

Different sounds ran throughout the whole castle. Pots clanging, Calcifer rambling, things falling from time to time.

All very familiar and, in a way, homely sounds. You were used to them after all, it happened on the daily and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Calcifer kept on rambling on as you clean up in the kitchen and start preparing breakfast.

"Why can't Howl move this god damn castle by himself, I always have to be doing all the hard work you know? Its infuriating, im an incredibly powerful fire demon and this is how he treats me. You know, you should be helping me man, but of course Howl probably got you wrapped around his finger, eh?"

He said that to you atleast once a day, maybe each few hours as well. At this point you learned to drone out the sound of his voice, knowing he won't stop unless you somehow get him out of there.

Its been years and he still does it, he acts as if he wasnt the one who decided to stay. After all him and Howl werent "connected" anymore. If he wanted to leave, he could whenever he wanted.

You werent very concerned or even trying to get him out so, he'll have to wait.

Suddem footsteps were heard, and as you look up a figure walks down.

Coat hanging off his shoulders, dark hair draping his face, there stood Howl. Beautiful as ever, there was never a chance where he couldn't take your breath away.

"Hello, darling" he says while walking behind you.

Giving you a kiss on the cheek before nuzzling into you. Warm cheek resting on your shoulder.

"Good morning love" you say while cracking some eggs.

Calcifer reaches his fiery hands from underneath the pan, effectively swiping at you jokingly while shouting, "hey im still here ya know?!"

Howl lets out a laugh before pressing a kiss to your neck and moving off of you, giving a greeting to Calcifer and then moving on to helping you with breakfast.

"Now now Calcifer, is it a crime to show some affection to my husband, hm?"

Calcifer grumbles before shoving his face down under the pan, no longer wanting to talk to the two of you.

Howl chuckles at his antics and decided to annoy him more, grabbing your face and spreading kisses everything.

Cheeks, forehead, nose, eyelids, you name it. In the end he plants a soft kiss on your lips and almost makes you forget you were cooking in that moment.

You playfully push his chest a little so you guys could stop and actually prepare some breakfast but he whines, he didnt want to.

In a snap of his fingers you now both sat at a small sofa near the kitchen, him cuddling you and nuzzling his face back into the nape of your neck.

"Howl the food-"

As soon as you say that different ingredients start floating and in the blink of an eye your breakfast is making itself.

Not something that didnt occur, but it certainly wasn't how you normally prepared breakfast. Howl, of course, being how he is he just wanted your attention at the moment.

He got incredibly clingy when it was morning time.

"You better cuddle your husband or ill become your ex-husband soon enough" he says mumbling against your skin.

Of course, as dramatic as always.

You start stroking his hair and he lets out a small sigh.

You now rested on the sofa with Howl on top of you. Giving him a small kiss on the top of his head before resting your chin on top of it. You could already imagine the contempt smile he had on his face right now, life has been so good since you met.

Of course, nothing is perfect, but you were both there for eachother countless of times.

Soft music played in the background as the both of you cuddle on the sofa, it very faint but you could stoll hear it.

And in that moment you felt complete bliss, what a life you lived.

[733 words; feb/22/21]

#virtual luvr is typing #male reader #x reader #x male reader #anime x male reader #hmc x you #hmc x reader #hmc x male reader #hmc imagine #hmc oneshot #howl x reader #howl x you #howl x male reader #howl imagine #howl oneshot #howls moving castle x reader #howls moving castle x male reader #howls moving castle imagine #howls moving castle oneshot #howl pendragon x reader #howl pendragon x you #howl pendragon x male reader #howl pendragon imagine #howl pendragon oneshot