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loving-strawberry · 11 months

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✶Stray Kids reacting to their s/o ignoring when she's being sexualized✶ (HCS)

Summary: You are being sexualized by people because of your body, but you're so used to this, that you simply choose to ignore that.

It was a request!

A little note: To the person who requested, if you read this, I'm really sorry for what is happening to you:( Also, I couldn't really do exactly as you asked me, because my brain is refusing to cooperate with me sometimes! But I hope you like it!

Warning: Swearing. Some comments about body parts. Mention of food and drinks. Probably some writing errors.

Genre: A bit of angst. Fluff. (I don't know other ones???)

Pairing: Bf!Skz x Fem!Reader

Bang Chan☆

He was simply shocked when this happened for the first time in front of him

You two were just taking a stroll in a park, enjoying together your little time off both of you had that same day, which is a pretty rare occasion

And all of a sudden you hear some nasty and disgusting comments about your body coming from an old man

While poor Chan was feeling sick hearing that someone could say something like this in the a public space, without feeling ashamed of themselves, you simply ignored it

"My love, how could you just ignore something like that? Do you want me to go and talk to him??"

"Channie, it's ok. I'm used to it by now."

Now he's even more shocked

What do you mean used to it???

How many times did this happened???

Why didn't you told him anything yet???

He has so many questions and he feels so bad that there's not much he can do about your situation...

Lee Minho☆

This was happening as the two of you were on a date at a restaurant

And one man who was sitting at the next table, was looking intensely at your chest, even throughout your shirt

You just ignored his gross looks and focused on other things

But your boyfriend couldn't

He was pissed.

He doesn't want to accept that someone is looking at you like you're some kind of object and you to just ignore it like it's a normal thing

Even if it is normal for you, unfortunately

"You need to stand up for yourself when this happens!"

"Why? It's much more easier to just ignore them and don't show any reaction. They wouldn't understand anyway."

If you don't stand up for yourself when this happens to you, he will

And next time this happens, Minho will send deadly glares towards the people who dares sexualize you in any way

If that doesn't work, he'll go and have a little talk with them

You will need to stop him before getting his ass in trouble with JYP

Seo Changbin☆

This one takes place at the gym

You were doing some squats, and a group of men was constantly checking your butt and disgustingly smirking at each other

And of course, doing unnecessary comments

Wants to have a little talk with them part 2... Even though he's outnumbered

But stops when he sees that you don't give a flying fuck about this whole situation

"Babe, you really don't care? The way they commented about your body is unacceptable and disgusting..."

"Bin, I'm used to it. It's happening more often than you think."

Now he's all pouting, sad and disappointed with himself for not noticing sooner

And of course, disappointed with the people who can do such things

"You shouldn't be used to this, babe..."

Hwang Hyunjin☆

During one of your photoshoots for modeling, the photographer was starting to make you pose more and more sexy

Indecent actually

Like, almost Playboy style

But you just tried to brush it off

On the other hand, Hyunjin, who came along with you just to keep you company during this session, wasn't exactly happy about what just happened

He's having a pit in his stomach after all of that and you can tell he's angry

He will just tell the photographer to fuck off and takes you out of that place as fast as possible

"Hyunnie, what's wrong??"

"You're seriously asking this...? You've just been sexualized and you're asking me what's wrong?"

"It was happening so many than you could think off... I just don't care too much anymore."

Now he's furious and grossed out.

Of course Hyunjin wouldn't let you go back to the same photographer, despite your reassurances that everything is fine

And he'll search himself for someone else who to be trusted with you

Han Jisung☆

(I don't have any ideas of scenarios here🙃)

You two went out for some ice cream, and suddenly someone says something like 'I have something better for you to lick'

Han is about to go and deal with him, until you stop him

"Ji, don't waste your time with that."

"But-..."

"Just ignore him."

He's honestly confused as to how unbothered you are

Makes him question himself how many times did this happened before and never noticed

"Does... Does this happened frequently...?"

"Yeah."

"HUH?!?"

He'll start from now on to look after you and pay attention to your surroundings constantly

Lee Felix☆

You both were at a TV show when this happens and having an interview

After a while, the hosts attention is focused just on you and starts telling suggestive jokes about you

Probably to entertain who's watching the show

But you don't pay attention at all to them

Felix by now is mad.

And a little disappointed that you don't react at all about this

You know the expressions he always have when he's jealous/mad about something?

Yeah... That's how I'm imagining him right now

Moving on...

After the show is over, of course he'll start questioning you

"How could you just brush those jokes off like you being sexualized is a normal thing???"

"Because it's a normal thing, unfortunately."

"What...?"

Poor Felix, he will probably start crying after hearing this :(

Kim Seungmin☆

(Out of ideas part2)

Location for this one?

The beach.

You are wearing a one piece costume, not feeling like showing too much skin this time

But this never stopped two man to approach you

And starts make unnecessarily comments about how you should wear a bikini instead, because that's what men wants to see

Seungmin went to get you two drinks, and right when they said those gross things, he came back

He expected you to say something back to those men

But you straight up ignored them and started scrolling on your phone

Leaving Seungmin to get rid of the pests

He just fake tripped on his own feet and threw the cold drinks, with ice in them, on the men skin

Skin that probably was warm of because how much they stood in the sun

They just scattered away in the contact with the extremely cold liquids, and muttering some curses under their breaths

"I didn't know you can be so lame to not talk back in these situations."

"I talked back enough. No one listened. So I don't bother anymore."

"... I'll go grab other drinks..."

Most likely feels bad for saying that now that he knows you're struggling with this everyday

Will make sure to be the who speaks up for you next time something similar happens again

Yang Jeongin☆

I.N was doing a live, with you being somewhere in the background, laying in bed and minding your own business

You were also reading some of the comments that people had left in I.N chat, from your phone

Both of you saw a pretty nasty comment left from a "fan" about your body and how hot you looked laying like that in bed

But neither of you said anything about it

I.N didn't said anything, cuz he hopped you didn't saw it

You just ignored the comment, truth be told

Shortly after that comment was left in poor boy's chat, he ended it, feeling too sick to continue the live

"Are you ok, Innie? You look a little pale..."

"Y-Yeah... It's just... I read a comment that made me feeling unsettled."

"Oh? The one about me? I just ignored it. I've gotten even worse."

If I.N wasn't pale before, he is now

He just couldn't understand how anyone could say something like this so easily

.............................

✧ Masterlist ✧

✧ Tag List ✧

@bangchansbae @tattywood @nebulousbrainsoup @https-skzology

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gamma-radio · 10 months

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I hate when people play phone audio out loud in public spaces. The screechy quality of phone speakers, the disregard for literally anyone's auditory comfort, my poor autistic ears — I rage mode.

I know I'm not alone, so I am going to share my flawless embarrassment-free technique to get them to stop.

1) Carry a pair of earbuds on you. Not required, but it helps give you the confidence to actually confront them

2) walk up to them and be as nice as possible, no matter how mad you are. However, do not explain yourself or apologize, just make a simple request: "Hi, would you mind using earbuds for that?" (You're not asking them to stop, just change their method)

3a) 90% of the time they will shamefully put their phone away, and because you were so nice, they aren't even mad at you!! Then you can thank them for being so thoughtful, and maybe compliment their shirt or something! Everybody loves compliments.

3b) Alternatively, they might say, "I don't have earbuds." Normally, this would put you in an awkward situation, but You aren't normal. You are Prepared.

OFFER THE EARBUDS: "That's okay," you say, "you can borrow mine!" dazzling smile, you are so nice and thoughtful, what a great guy you are

Don't worry about losing your earbuds (or if you don't actually have earbuds), because they won't accept your offer. THEN they will put their phone away of their own free will. You never even had to ask.

If you want a detailed explanation of why this works (for the autistic besties, I see u):

People don't like it when you tell them what to do, especially if that request is to stop doing their activity in any shape or form. It pisses them off, and rightfully so! No one wants to be controlled.

That's why this method is so good: you never asked them to stop their activity, you asked them to make a small change to how they are doing the activity, which is far less obtrusive.

This works for lots of things, and lots of people. Imagine being a kid, goofing around, and someone says, "Stop doing that." Upsetting! Compared to: "Would you mind being quieter?" Because really, the issue is not that you are goofing around, the issue is that you are being loud and disruptive about it.

Same goes for the stranger on their phone in public. It's totally fine that they're watching a video, the problem is that they're being disruptive, and chances are they know that being disruptive is rude.

The second half of why this works is offering the earbuds.

When you ask them to change how they're doing their activity, you are placing a burden on them. If they have a pair already, it is a very tiny burden. If they don't have a pair, it is suddenly an insurmountable burden, and that's very uncomfortable. In fact, it's so uncomfortable that by making the request, you might become the bad guy in the situation (according to them) even if you're being nice, and even if they're in the wrong.

That's why you offer the earbuds. Now you are actively helping them by alleviating the burden. You are being kind and thoughtful instead of demanding!

Sure, they might think you're a little weird, because it's not part of the social script, but they've got no ground to be mad at you.

Which brings up the last point: offering to lend your earbuds isn't part of the social script. It's surprising, and so their default reaction is to avoid that path: they will decline your offer. So, you don't have to worry about a stranger wearing your earbuds with their gross stranger ears.

So that's the whole idea behind the method. Confrontation that is respectful and thoughtful of their autonomy and your comfort all at the same time. ~social engineering for good~

#sensory overstimulation #autism #sensory overload #autistic #neurodivergent #social engineering #social etiquette #my post

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kisskiss-slashslash · 8 months

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Can I request jason voorhees, bubba sawyer, Thomas hewitt, and Vincent sinclair and how they would react to finding a message on the inside of their mask that says "rember, I♡U ~ Y/N" from their S/O other, and maybe another angst version where the find it after the reader died but for now just fluff please?

Yes you can <3 and I did both for all of them. First fluffy, then angsty

So yeah content warnings: Death

Masked Slashers when they discover that their s/o wrote a message on the back of their mask

Jason Voorhees

If he discovers it during your lifetime, he becomes downright giddy. He knows what it means, despite being unable to read. He has seen the same thing carved into way too many trees around camp. But this isn’t harming a tree or defacing the camp, it’s just you reminding him that while he is out there killing people, you are at home, waiting to lovingly welcome him back. And to return the favor, he may carve or write the same thing on something of yours, so you will also always know he loves you. Should he not discover the message before then, however…

His days have become so dark since you left. And since then, he also stopped taking off his mask so much. While you were alive, he had made it a habit to not wear it around you. After all, you loved all of him; there was no way to hide. So now, if he needed to eat or drink, he usually just lifted it a bit and put it back in place immediately after. So it took him a few weeks to discover your message.

Jason never learned to read, but he sees the little heart scribbled next to the message and that says just as much. His heart breaks all over again. For a good while, he just stands there with the mask in hand, bitter tears dripping onto the rough plastic.

Bubba Sawyer

You make this particular mask for Bubba, after watching how he maskes the masks himself many times. It really is a bit gross, but you’d do anything for him, so there you are, carefully stitching the flaps of skin together and finally using a permanent marker to write the message inside. Once he discovers it, he is over the moon. He will immediately drop anything he is doing and come to you to wrap you in a bear hug. Depending on the time of day, Drayton may chase him back to work with some choice words, or just roll his eyes and tell you to get a room.

Bubba has many masks, for every one of his moods. But he rarely swaps them out anymore, now that you aren’t around. While your body has been treated like the rest of the Sawyer-family’s deceased loved ones, sitting upstairs as well-preserved as possible and treated as if still alive, it is just not the same. You aren’t laughing and smiling anymore.

This mask that he wears now has been your work; you had insisted on making one for him a while ago.

When family bath day finally rolls around, he finds himself forced to take it off, and that’s then he finally notices it. A message for him, written inside of the mask, right on his cheek like a loving kiss. The other Sawyers can only watch in bewilderment as Bubba breaks down, sobbing and clutching the mask to his chest.

Thomas Hewitt

Making his human masks is grizzly business, and one he normally wouldn’t want to involve you in. But he remembers you sneaking downstairs not too long ago, citing simple curiosity as the reason.

He will most likely find the message fairly quickly, while washing up after a hard day of work. Once he sees it, he will smile to himself. While his reaction is fairly subdued, he will definitely be extra loving with you for the rest of the day, causing Hoyt to tease him about it.

Now that you’re gone, Thomas just tries to move on with his life, as painful as it is. He still has the rest of his family to provide for, after all.

During his work, he briefly takes off his mask to wipe off the sweat that gathered underneath, only to find the message inside. His heart cramps up at the sight, and he bites down on his lower lip to stop the tears flooding his eyes from making their way down his face.

Carefully, almost reverently, he puts the mask back on a dummy head, now deeming it way too precious to wear. Instead, he grabs another one, but before he can put it on, he freezes, realizing that his one also has the same message from you. Holding back the tears becomes even harder. Another mask. Same thing.

He finds that every single one of his masks has the same message scribbled on the inside. Overwhelmed by it, he sits down at his desk and buries his face in his hands, hoping it will conceal the hot streams of sorrow pouring from his eyes.

Vincent Sinclair

Leaving this kind of message in a wax mask is a bit difficult, but possible. You got yourself some gold foil from a craft store during your last trip to town, and while Vincent sleeps peacefully next to you, you quietly get up and carefully work the message into the wax with the foil. When Vincent wakes up and discovers it, he will look over to you and smile. That day, he works with even more vigor than usual, and come evening, presents you with a small wax figure he made especially for you.

Vincent considered himself almost immune to grief for a long time; even his mother’s death had made him determined to continue her legacy more than anything. But then you suddenly pass away, and he feels like the ground underneath his feet is crumbling.

Then he discovers the message, and he just… shuts down. It takes days for his brothers to coax him out of bed, and even then, he only gets up to stop his brothers from pestering him. Should any victims come to town during that time, he will go after them with the ferocity of a wild animal. In his head he is screaming “Why should you get to live?! With what right are you still breathing while they are gone?!”

#slasher x reader #jason voorhees x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #thomas hewitt x reader

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elizakai · 28 days

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you guys i can’t take this anymore i need to release steam from this pot of killer and dust thoughts that’s on the stove

listen. if you don’t know by now. one of my favorite things to do is bridge narratives between fanon ideas, and canon truths hehe

Killer and Dust. The accepted dynamic is basically killer being a pestering little shit and dust being over it.

THATS GREAT ON ITS OWN it’s funny etc

but think about their ACTUAL characters for a moment. they are two sides of the same coin.

⬇️

i don’t want to hear any of that old fandom “they are literally the same” shhhhh. nuh uh dear friend, they commuted the same (general) action💥

their motives and situations are very different however! which is important when it comes to understanding a character

They both played into an opposite role in their world if you ask me.

Killer partners with chara, filling the role of the player. he’s a lot like flowey actually.

(in killers world, while he is still a pawn of this sick game, he gets manipulated after all, he has taken on the ROLE of the player. everyone else are the pawns.)

dust is against the anomaly of dusttale, which is that worlds player.

dust is a pawn. a pawn that is defying the player of the game

(in the same way that killer is still pawned, dust still uses his fellow “pawns” as a means to “win” the game, meaning he’s also playing)

(but again, i’m speaking role wise)

Killer and Dust’s dynamic doesn’t have to just be haha funny, it has some actual merit and potential to their characters.

Killer is constantly looking for new forms of entertainment. something new. he’ll get bored, and if he’s bored he’ll have to look at himself. killer is very much a character representing disassociation avoidance and to an extent, escapism (huh. like someone playing a video game?)

Of COURSE he’s gonna poke at people. it’s INTERESTING. it gets a REACTION. he gets to have that small power trip of being in control, after feeling like he lost control this is something that’s probably addictive to killer.

meanwhile dust…well. killer acts like his own anomaly in a way. he prods at him, toys with him, he’s leering and he takes pleasure in any reaction dust gives. dust probably would resent this feeling without really knowing why. he feels like some toy, and he’d probably be inclined to even interpret a genuine interaction this way.

this honestly makes dusts inclination to shut off or dull down any emotion make more sense. be as unremarkable as possible, and you’ll be left alone, right?

isn’t that…kind of what sans does? he’ll repeat same lines of dialogue and such when he reallyyy doesn’t have to. he’s being uninteresting. (and no he doesn’t need to remember everything magically for that to be possible. in game he will poke fun at past conversations and dialogue so he’s clearly aware enough)

Killer wants a response, so dust doesn’t give one.

killer wants control and feels like this is a challenge, dust feels cornered and defensive

if they had existed in the same world, it would have been killer vs dust in the end either way.

it’s a big old game of cat and mouse until someone snaps. they need to be given the opportunity to understand their similarities

even in an interpretation where they are in a healthier relationship, in whatever capacity, i think these mindsets would be conflict they may have….

to killer , on one hand he may be OFFENDED by his lack of response. he may be EXCITED, it’s a CHALLENGE. he might take dusts resignation as a sign of submission, which would give killer a HIGE power trip.

he might. genuinely just be trying to have fun?

it could be ENTIRELY lighthearted, and it’s still…rather toxic, considering where that mindset branched from

and we know dust won’t be inclined to say anything. he probably doesn’t understand his own feelings to be frank💀 he just feels gross and intimidated and cornered so he shuts off and sees killer as oppressive , and grows resentful regardless of intent, as these feelings only feed into his crippling self hatred anyways

….thats all for tonight-

#utmv #ut au #undertale #sans aus #dust sans #murder sans #killer sans #bad sanses #THOUGHTS #PLEASE SHARE IM SISBDOD #this is unorganized and i don’t care hee hoo #headcanons #interpretations ig #dusttale #something new au #kist #if we want #😏#or not

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 1 year

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jealousy jealousy || Changbin x Reader

Summary: It's as you're working with Changbin on a school project — and he's being as infuriating as he always is — that he invites you to go see 3racha perform in a bar that night. You decide to take the opportunity, because you do find the group talented, and also, what could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 4.3k

Genres: college AU, rapper!Changbin

Warnings & Tags: jealousy, academic rivals to lovers, alcohol consumption, brief sleazy behavior from someone else, consensual kiss while under the influence, light angst, oc has insecurities

series masterlist

A/N: Similarly to the I.N. oneshot, please ignore the thing about music if you know better and it doesn't make sense, my years of studying music theory are far behind me :') Hope you'll enjoy the piece, would appreciate to know your thoughts on it if you do!

If you had had your say on this assignment or on your choice for a partner, you wouldn’t be sitting there, across from Seo Changbin, in his fucking studio, watching him nod his head as he’s working on the arrangement you’re supposed to turn in next week.

“The guidelines say we’re supposed to use an unusual time signature,” you say, partly to be annoying and partly because he’s literally using 4/4, which, like, come on. It’s like he’s trying to go against the rules.

“They’re used for a reason,” he replies after a good thirty seconds of silence, which could be because he was ignoring you or because he can’t multitask. “It’s more important to turn in something that’s good than something that follows the guidelines.”

“That’s not mutually exclusive.”

“You can’t let others tell you what to do,” he insists, still looking at his screen. “You have to make your own decisions based on what’s good for—”

“It sounds like you just can’t take a challenge,” you interrupt him and this time, he turns around to glare at you. For a second, he looks offended, which was the reaction you were going for and, you have to say, it brings you an evil satisfaction. Then a corner of his lips lift and he smirks.

You really don’t like how attractive you find that look on him.

“You think that’s going to work on me?”

You grit your teeth. Well, rationale and logic weren’t getting you anywhere so far, so this was at least worth a try.

“I’m not looking forward to you tanking my grade,” you reply with a shrug, attempting, and probably failing, to look nonchalant.

This time he scoffs before going back to the computer.

“It’s not going to tank our grade. The teacher values quality more than following the rules, and even if he didn’t, you shouldn’t change yourself to make someone happy.”

Valuable life advice, you’re sure. It just does not apply whatsoever when a grade is at stake. Unfortunately though, he is right about this teacher valuing ‘quality’, though you don’t like how subjective his view of it appears to be. You think there should be metrics when it comes to grading your students. Either way, so far Changbin’s been fucking breezing through this class because the teacher just adores everything he puts out. You think it’s a gross display of favoritism and you suspect that it has a lot to do with 3racha’s popularity, but everyone’s too busy making heart eyes at the golden boy to think about it.

And, look, you like 3racha. You think they’re talented. You don’t know where Chan finds the time to do music while being captain of the swimming team and all the other stuff he’s doing — seriously, when does he sleep —, you think Jisung’s a very talented singer, rapper, producer — basically a one man group already without needing to add the other two in— and Changbin’s… Yeah. Changbin’s good. There’s no way you could deny that. That’s not the problem.

The problem is that it doesn’t seem to have crossed his mind that there are some people in here who don’t have a record deal lined up for them as soon as they walk out of their graduation. Some people who are not going to have full creative control over their stuff until they’ve really established themselves, if that ever happens. Some people who also just simply enjoy figuring out a way of making something interesting, something good in ways they wouldn’t have thought of if they hadn’t been forced to deal with an obstacle of some sort barring them from picking the easiest solution.

The problem is that, as you reluctantly have to admit, Changbin isn’t picking the easiest solution. In fact, once you notice what he’s doing, you can’t help but lean forward on your seat, all your attention on him and his hands moving on the keyboard. Shit. It seems, infuriatingly, that he had a point.

“What’d you think?” he asks once he’s done, and you blink yourself back to reality after having watched him work his magic.

“It’s smart,” you admit. You’re not the type to lie just because you have an issue with him. “Using tertiary rhythms in 4/4 to give the impression of another time signature… Yeah. It’s good.”

You can practically see his ego getting bigger with every word you say. Dammit, you almost wish he were a hack.

“But,” you add, a little too be annoying and a little because you have an actual point to make, “I think you should start off with binary rhythms.”

Changbin visibly deflates, then frowns, and you realize belatedly that you might have been able to push back on the use of the time signature then and there. You think he’d have given in, if you still didn’t like the end result, but that hadn’t even occurred to you.

“Why?” he asks, folding his — impressive — arms over his chest. “That’d be boring.”

You shake your head, pushing yourself up next to him and taking the mouse out of his hands to start making the changes that are clear as day in your mind. The gesture seems to outrage him, but if you’re being honest that’s actually a plus in your book, so, tough to be him.

“You start out with something familiar,” you explain as you’re working, “to lull the listener into a false sense of security. Then you hit them with the unusual to have a bigger impact and to make them wonder how the piece got there. That way, they’ll think they’ll know exactly what you’re going for from the start and be more surprised when you go for something else.”

There are a few seconds of silence after that, before Changbin also leans forward, his body suddenly much closer to yours.

“You have to work on the transition some more if you’re going for that,” he says, and his breath tickles your cheek. “’cause it’s just gonna feel jarring if you don’t.”

“I was getting to that,” you say with a click of your tongue, elbowing him in the stomach in an attempt to keep him from messing with your work. Through the first, soft layer, you come in contact with strong abs, which doesn’t surprise you considering how much time he’s rumored to spend at the gym.

Not that you’re paying attention to these rumors or anything. It’s just— Know your enemy, or something.

He does manage to use his muscles pretty easily to get the mouse back, and after an undignified shriek when he wraps an arm around your body to lift you up and get you away, you admit defeat. If your cheeks are warm now, it’s just because of the effort.

It’s also the reason your heart beats faster, and it’s got nothing to do with the satisfied grin Changbin shoots back at you once he’s back in front of the computer.

“Hey,” he says as he’s working, “you know 3racha’s having a concert tonight?”

Of course you do.

“I heard about it.”

“You should come. I can get you in.”

You raise an eyebrow. You’ve never actually seen 3racha perform. Tickets to their stuff aren’t that easy to get on campus or around i, and you’re also busy working your ass off most of the time, whether it’s for classes or at your part-time job. But you have tonight off, and considering this assignment is going nicely…

You bite your lower lip as you consider it. You’re not really looking forward to the screaming crowd looking at Changbin like he’s a god, but you are interested in the actual show. You’ve heard so much about them, and the stars aligning for a ticket offer and not having to work…

Ah, fuck it.

“Okay.”

Changbin’s head whips back in your direction.

“What?”

You take a step back, shoulders instinctively coming up to your ears. Your defenses come back up in a matter of seconds.

“If you don’t want me there, you shouldn’t have—”

“No, you should come!” he protests, and then his voice gets softer. “I’d be super happy if you came, I just didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“Of course I am,” you say with a shrug.

Changbin turns around towards the computer, but not before you catch a bright smile on his lips. Not his signature smirk. A bright, genuine smile.

And this time, you have no excuse when your heart skips a beat.

It doesn’t come off as a shock to you that 3racha are really fucking good on stage. You didn’t have any trouble getting into the bar after giving your name, which Changbin had told you would be enough. It had taken a little more, uh, elbow work to get reasonably close to the stage, because the place was already pretty filled up. The people there are almost all from the college, but there are a few groups of mostly young men — some looking like they’re too young to have been let in — that stick out as well.

You make yourself comfortable as you wait, sending the occasional glare at people pushing you. Lots of girls there, you note, and you don’t think they’re all there for the music, which you find amusing. You certainly don’t judge. That’s something that the people from the labels would have noted, and it’s not like there’s a wrong way of enjoying a group.

The crowd goes wild around you when Jisung — or rather J-One, his stage name — jumps on stage, practically vibrating with energy. You don’t really catch what he’s saying, both because it’s too loud and because he’s speaking too fast. You are, however, acutely aware of the way he presents himself, of his cocky grin, of the way he sticks his tongue out and wipes at his lower lip with his thumb.

He’s followed on stage by Changbin, who, unlike him, barely looks like he’s acting. Yeah, his stage persona is raw confidence, supercharged with charisma, but he doesn’t bother doing much of anything — though you think he’s flexing his muscles a little more than usual. Except, of course, when he gives the audience that fucking smirk of his.

And suddenly, you’re very, very aware of how hot it is in the room.

Chan’s the last one to get on, and he does so with a roar of “Are you ready?”. Everyone goes insane, and you find yourself being pushed around by the people around you jumping up and down. Though you’re not quite giving in just yet, you do enjoy the enthusiasm. If half of what you’ve heard about them is true, they certainly deserve the hype. Seeing the wide, uncontainable smile on Chan’s face at the crowd reaction, as he can’t keep up with his stage persona for a few seconds, just makes your heart swell.

Then, after getting the crowd even more riled up, they get started with their set. You’re familiar with all the songs, of course. Music is ideally going to become your job and you want to keep yourself updated, but also, you do find them to be good. Even the stuff that’s not to your personal taste is always backed up by an actual creative idea, which is not something you’d say about a lot of pop songs that get blasted on the radio every day. It makes their music feel new, and yeah, sometimes it means it’s not that easily accessible and it’s going to turn some people off, but it sure makes you respect their artistic integrity.

They’re also giving themselves on stage, 100%. And, because there’s just no point in denying it now, Changbin looks ridiculously fucking hot doing it. It makes all sorts of things tingle in your stomach and lower when he growls in the mic. You haven't been able to look away for a second.

Outside of the general hotness — you’re human, what can you say — you can’t help but appreciate everything else, everything musical. How easily he rides the beat, how music seems to inhabit his body, how skillfully he’s crafted the verses and choruses and made them feel— You’re not sure how to phrase it. They’re not predictable, but they are obvious. It feels like there would be no other way of doing them, no better way of phrasing them, no arrangement that would be more efficient. It has to be that way.

And it’s as they’re reaching the peak of their last song that dread washes over you, seeping straight to your bones.

You find Changbin annoying. You think he’s cocky, overconfident, and that he doesn’t pay enough attention to others. You also don’t like the way he gets everything handed to him on a silver platter and that, unlike you, he doesn’t have to split his time between work and college. But if you’re being honest, that’s not nearly enough of a reason to dislike him. The guy wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s always happy to help out, maybe even lets people take advantage a little bit. And he’s so, so fucking talented. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find all of that attractive.

The problem, as you’re staring at him on stage, is that the question that is truly at the center of it all, the one you’ve refused to ask yourself all this time as you kept working your ass off and he kept doing better than you, just came up to the surface, and you can’t avoid it any longer.

What if you just don’t have it?

Look, you believe in hard work, but you find it hard to deny that some people just have something else. Call it talent, call it luck, whatever. Changbin’s got it.

You’re not sure you do.

You just might keep working and working and working and never get to the level he’s at. You might just not have the thing that makes him able to come up with hooks that stay inside your head for days on end.

What’s been your dream job for almost a decade now might remain forever out of reach.

As the crowd erupts in cheers around you, and 3racha stay on the stage, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down their forehead, the future you’ve always wished for doesn’t quite shatter completely in front of your eyes, but it takes a nasty crack that ripples onto its entire surface.

You turn around, away from the stage. You hadn’t planned on that, but fuck it.

You need a drink.

Even as you down two drinks a little too quick and gesture for a third, you know this is a bad idea. You’re running straight into a wall, you’re going to regret this so much tomorrow, and you’re doing it anyway. This isn’t like you. You make the good decision, the right decision, you do what’s smart, what you should do.

Except apparently, none of that is enough, and that thought gets you to ingest the third drink as well, the burning taste of alcohol a welcome distraction.

“You can really knock these back,” a voice comments next to you.

You glance at the guy who’s already way too close in your personal space for a stranger. Normally, you would roll your eyes and you’d never even consider entertaining it. Who even hits on someone after they’ve seen them try their best to get intoxicated in as short an amount of time as possible?

Tonight though, his maths has paid off, because you welcome the distraction.

If you’re going to be making bad decisions, why stop at one, right?

You spin yourself towards him, rest your elbow on the counter and put your head on your hand in a pretty unnatural pose. You’re not quite coordinated — not usually, and certainly not with that amount of alcohol in your blood — but it doesn’t appear to throw him off.

“Sure can,” you say — it might come off slurred, you can’t tell, “but the question is, can you?”

He raises an eyebrow, but he looks amused. Honestly, he’s giving sleazy vibes, a little too happy to be running into someone trying to get wasted, you just— you just don’t give a fuck right now. You feel like you’ve watched the life slip forever out of your reach, and you just want to forget about it, forget about how you may never get a job and never live from what you want to do most in the world, forget about fucking Seo Changbin and how ridiculously talented he is when you’re— Yeah, you’re ordering another drink.

The guy offers to pay for you, and you’re not going to say no. He makes a dumb comment about it which you think is supposed to be a joke and you laugh way too hard, throwing your head back in a tried and tested move.

As you make painful small talk with him while waiting for your drink, you’re struck by how mediocre he seems to be. When you’re around Changbin, as annoying as he can be, the conversation’s just… brilliant. He’s interesting, he’s actually smart, he has stuff to say, and talking to him makes you feel, well, annoyed, sure, but it’s also challenging. He never bores you.

It’s been less than a minute, and you already wish that guy would shut up.

He doesn’t. He seems intent on smothering you with facts about his life that he probably believes to be impressive — his money, his job, his connections —, like you don’t know why he’s doing it. It’s almost insulting that he seems to believe that he’s seducing you with all of that fairly mundane stuff, when really, the attention you’re giving him has nothing to do with, well, him.

He’s moved on to putting his arm around your shoulders in the least subtle way known to man when you hear your name and you turn back around.

There’s Changbin, eyeing you and the guy, looking half pissed, half concerned.

“Oh, hey,” you say. “You were really good.”

His eyebrows knit, but then a smile that he can’t seem to hold back lifts a corner of his lips. It’s not arrogant for once, almost bashful actually.

“You thought so?”

So good that it gave you an existential crisis, so, yeah, you did.

“Yeah, you guys weren’t bad,” the dude behind you chimes in, and since you’ve got your back turned to him, you openly roll your eyes, which Changbin can’t miss. You doubt the guy knows shit about the time and efforts that had to go into that set, or into the writing of the song before even getting onto the stage, for that matter. “A bit derivative,” he adds, like an asshole, “but you might go on to do great stuff.”

There’s nothing bashful about Changbin’s smile now. He doesn’t look hurt or anything, but he seems to be thinking that the guy’s a real fucking moron.

“Thanks,” he says, sarcasm dripping in his voice which the dude doesn’t catch. Then his eyes fall on the glasses in front of you, and back to the hand on your shoulder. “Is that all yours?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m questioning my existence,” you reply with a shrug. “So that seemed like a good idea.”

Changbin looks confused for a second, but not completely deterred by your lack of coherence.

“’kay, then I think I should take you home.”

That’s objectively a good idea, and the more time you’re spending looking at him and talking to him, the less you want to keep talking to the other dude, actually.

“Hey,” the guy in question says from behind you, “I got there first. Find someone else, dude.”

Changbin’s eyes harden instantly and he takes a threatening step forward. He’s shorter than the man, but significantly larger. You just so happen to not be drunk enough to watch them fight. You blame your dad’s genes for making you somewhat good at handling your alcohol, because you wish you were hammered enough not to care right now. You push yourself on your feet, a bit unsteady, and put your hand on Changbin’s arm — totally to stop him and not at all to stop yourself from face planting. His muscles, you discover with some interest, are not just impressive but also extremely hard, perhaps because he’s prepared to fight.

“It’s good,” you say, “thanks for the drinks but he’s right, I need to get home.”

The man’s face contorts with anger.

“You can pay for your own drinks, you fucking—”

One of Changbin’s arms wrap around your waist, and then he takes a step forward, easily getting you out of the way while keeping you against him, to grab the man by the collar.

“Want to finish that sentence, asshole?”

If you were sober, you’d think something judgmental about men and aggressiveness. Right now, you mostly, uh, think it’s very very hot of him. Being pressed into his hard body makes your heart rate spike up, and in that state, it’s so hard to deny how attracted you are to him.

The guy backs down quickly, sputtering an apology, and then Changbin’s dragging you away, keeping his arm around you to ensure you stay on your feet.

“You okay?” he asks. His eyes scan your body, focusing back on your face when he finds nothing.

Alcohol has a tendency of making you even snappier than you usually are. Right now, though, hearing the genuine worry in his voice, you feel that part of you melting away.

“I’m good, Changbin. I think I just— I just need to get home.”

And though he’d be the last person you’d take help from if you were sober, he seems like the perfect pick at the moment.

You make it to the campus without too much trouble. It’s not like your legs don’t carry you anymore, just that you don’t walk quite straight, but Changbin doesn’t let go of you for one second of that walk, monitoring you the whole time, and then he insists on getting you back to your room as well. At least you live alone, because that is not something you’d like to have to explain.

“Did something happen?” Changbin asks, finally, as you’re making it up the steps, like he just can’t keep it in anymore. Your mind, which had been peacefully quiet this whole time, filled with his warmth and his presence, is flooded with noise again. It takes you a few long, painful seconds before you come up with something to say.

“Do you think I’m any good at this?” you ask just as you’re reaching your floor.

He shoots you a weird look.

“Good at what?”

Right, he wasn’t privy to everything that was going on in your mind.

“You know,” you say with a vague gesture. “Music. Producing. What we do.”

“Of course you’re good at it,” he scoffs like it’s the most obvious thing ever. “You’re super creative. You can follow all the stupid rules the teachers give us and still turn something good in. You think I’d let you work on my stuff in my studio if I didn’t think you were good?”

It’s his tone that gets to you, you think. Changbin’s honest to a fault, from what you’ve seen, but he says this so matter-of-factly, so casually, that it’s hard to question, even for just a second, that he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. You know it will take a moment to sink in, that Changbin has that kind of confidence in you when even you don’t, but, even if the thoughts will definitely come back later, it’s like he dispelled them all in just a few sentences.

It’s as you’re coming to a stop in front of your door that he almost jumps with realization.

“Wait a second. Did that fucker say—”

And then you kiss him. It’s not that hard, from the position you were in, to pivot into wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips against his, which you find to be soft and plump. He tenses for a second before his hand tightens on your waist and he kisses you back hungrily. If he can taste the alcohol on your lips, it doesn’t seem to bother him. His hand holds you close to him with almost bruising strength, but it remains chastely on your waist, his only movements coming from his lips and tongue.

His teeth graze against your lower lip, pulling on it, and it sends shivers through your whole body, but this is when you pull away from him. Despite his previous stillness, his head moves forward, chasing your lips for just a few seconds longer.

When you open your eyes, you find him panting, cheeks and ears a pronounced shade of red. It’s— extremely cute, if you’re being honest.

“Thank you for taking me home,” you say.

“Y—Yeah,” he says, glancing away when his voice cracks. “Yeah,” he repeats, “any time.”

“I’m gonna go to bed now,” you say, though you still haven’t taken your arms from around him.

“That’s good,” he says with a decisive nod. “’cause, you know, you’re drunk, and I wouldn’t wanna— You should go to bed.”

It makes you giggle, but you still decide give yourself a second more, during which you put your head on your shoulder, and Changbin just lets you, his hand rubbing circles on your back. When you still don’t move, he clears his throat.

“D’you want me to carry you?”

“Seriously?”

His response to that is to lift you up princess-style, one arm under your knees and the other under your back. He lets out a grunt as he lifts you, but then stabilizes himself and manages to get you through the door.

You know that you’ll have some things to seriously think about when you wake up with a throbbing headache, but in that moment, you just laugh and let him carry you to your bed, because having his arms around make you feel safe.

He makes you feel like you’re going to be okay.

Taglist: @lethallyprotected @jisuperboard

#stray kids #changbin #seo changbin #changbin x reader #seo changbin x reader #stray kids imagine #skz #changbin imagine #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz imagine #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #changbin fanfic #candywrites

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utilitycaster · 6 months

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Unpopular opinion: parts of the cr fandom are really dismissive/ reductive of Travis’s characters. It feels like it’s due to Travis being seen as THE cis het man of the group, and by extension his characters must be heteronormative and bad, despite the fact that you could have queer interpretations of his characters. At the very least, Travis’s characters explore masculinity and the different ways it might look. It’s like the people who are all “ew men are gross and shitty” and act like that’s an absolutely normal reaction to a man just existing.

So this is another one in that I agree with the initial statement, but I'm actually not sure re: the reasoning why. I think it's possible but I could not tell you for sure.

I used to, again, think this was people carrying through Campaign 1 elements well beyond the point where C1 had ended, and so Grog having an intelligence of 6 was being applied to Travis; and this definitely does come through to an extent when people treat Fjord (objectively as smart as Beau without her circlet) as stupid or act shocked that Chetney is the brains of Bells Hells or that he can play a Cerrit, Fjord, or Nathaniel. However, again, I think this is one of those opinions that pops up among people who weren't around for Campaign 1 (or early enough in C2 to be exposed to it regularly) so I don't know if that's the case anymore. It could still be - it could be that Approved Fandom Opinions get passed down even when the logic behind them has long since been lost; that's a really common thing in institutional memory. But I can't say for sure.

I also have in the past credited it to, as you said, people assuming his characters are the cishet guys and then writing them off. That's still possible - I've seen both Fjord and Chetney called "token straight" despite considerable evidence of bisexuality, and they also paradoxically are both commonly headcanoned as trans while still getting called "token straight," which sort of ties into a post I would need to find from someone else from quite some time ago about which cast members are granted agency by the fandom in their choices vs. which are assumed to be the victims of circumstance. And I do think that there are people in fandom who have decided men are icky or whatever, and I used to think this came from a place of bigotry and a slide towards t*rf ideology but I now do genuinely think it's just idiots who don't grant interiority to characters outside their own limited understanding.

But I think it's also useful to consider a few things, most of which I've brought up before:

Travis is extremely offline. He is not here to entertain your headcanons; he has been politely but openly dismissive of some (imo, really fucking dumb) fanon/fan theories. I think the cast frequently talks about how it's their table, and I think that's valid and correct, but Travis is one of the players who lives it the most. He is playing this game with his friends, and he'd like it to be a good story, but if you don't like it, he is not here to make you like it. I think that really fucks with the parasocial connections some people desire with the cast.

Travis's characters tend to examine masculinity as a performance but also the general performance of the self, and the fact that you cannot in the end control how you are perceived entirely, and I think that really unsettles people who have equated presentation with reality and are again, looking for external validation of the self.

Travis can play it big but he's often extremely subtle, especially with his more serious characters, and he's not as easily quotable out of context as some others at the table. I think because he is a lot more naturalistic than dramatic at times (Chetney notwithstanding) and isn't as pithy and quotable in his characters as many of Taliesin's PCs are, and a lot of the strength is in the delivery, he gets overlooked despite being very good with words on the fly.

And finally: this would be a whole post on its own but people are still very foolishly wed to this idea that pressing the big red button in D&D is Wild and Chaotic and haha Big ADHD Man when it's actually how you play D&D if you're not a coward; the button is where the story is stored, and a lot of Travis's strength is that he is extremely good at understanding what the GM wants and supporting it with sufficient grace that it's only visible if you know what you're fucking doing.

#answered #Anonymous #in the end although it's frustrating the fandom often sells him short #every gm is like this man is the greatest player i've ever had so who's really right in the end #anyway. watch candela chapter 2.#opinions rating ask meme

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boba-beom · 5 days

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All your posts are making me like 🫠 I think I reblogged all three keke

I need to shout about this... In the Miracle tiktok where Taehyun is dancing while SoobKai film with ILLIT... I don't know if he's eating or chewing gum but it looks like he's chewing gum and why is it so attractive to me. Now I've combined this with basketball Taehyun, thinking how hot it would be to watch him doing a solo practice, shooting and doing dribbling drills while casually making conversation with you, chewing gum the whole time. Am I crazy? Maybe, because before now, I'd probably say gum is gross.

WAIT but now I'm imagining this scenario is the first time you hang out after he sees you fraternising with the enemy (Yeonjun) and he's trying to act like it doesn't bother him that you gave him your number, only that you were clapping for the wrong team OKAY stop me and my imagination 😅 I love Taehyun

and I love you, so glad to see you're still around 💕

CEE I love you too! and I'm happy to see you around also <3 you have no idea how much I've been giggling to myself from your tags hehe :> thank you for the rbs and reading your reactions were fun too 🤭 and you saying that I make sport-centric fics fun for you to read is truly a huge compliment to me omg, I always get nervous because I'm not 100% sure about what I'm writing most of the time, so thank you ilysm 🫶🏼

ALSO reading this made my jaw drop because you're literally onto something with that omg. I noticed that too during soogyu's tiktok with ILLIT— it's the way taehyun does it so nonchalantly with the subtle chewing and it is kinda hot. I used to find people who do that quite obnoxious lmao, but like I can't stand if they're really smacking their gum, ygm? ANYWAY—

jealous bsf!taehyun x gn!reader, dialogue heavy

okay so, the first time you and taehyun hang out after the game is a couple of days later. he'd agreed to hang out with you at the park since you both had checked the weather in advance; it was sunnier than usual. you both decided to meet each other at your regular spot and you're not surprised to find taehyun already there, sitting on the grass and on his phone. usually he'd notice you when you walk up behind him, but it was almost like he'd purposely ignored you and waiting until you had to announce that you were there.

"tyun?" you sit beside him slowly leaning in to give him a usual hug when you greet each other but he gave you a lazy side hug. damn. "been waiting long?"

"no."

that's all you get? he pockets his phone, palms against the grass as he leans back chewing his gum nonchalantly and looking at the busy field in front of you. there seems to be a group of high schoolers training for soccer.

"um, are we good?" you ask quietly, heart pounding in your chest and a little afraid for the first time in forever.

he hums, eyes focused on the ball being passed from player to player.

"yeah, why wouldn't we?" his voice monotone but knowing taehyun, that was normal. "how's yeonjun. are you guys like text buddies now or something?"

now that wasn't what you were expecting. well shit. taehyun's mad and you don't know if that's all he has to say about it.

"no, tyun. he didn't even call me so I don't even have his number. I'm assuming he's busy is all. I wasn't really expecting much." you nudge his shoulder playfully, craning your neck in attempt to be in his visual field, but to no avail, his vision doesn't budge. you sit back in your original position, also watching the ball from afar. "does it bother you?"

you best friend scoffs, apparently he finds something humorous that you possibly missed.

"it doesn't. why'd you even talk to that guy anyway, you know he just does that to boost his ego because he lost the game." taehyun finally turns his head to look at you and you look at him within a fraction of a second, eyes holding eye contact for the first time that day.

"I'm sure he had good intentions-"

"good intentions." taehyun scoffs again, almost chuckles after he repeats it again. "that guy never has good intentions, ___. and I thought you were there to support me, then I catch you clapping for his three pointer."

your stomach churns a little from the guilt. you didn't know he saw that. and what do you even say? you thought it was impressive? you had a feeling yeonjun shot that shot for you?

"don't even try and think of some lame ass excuse because you know damn well I can tell when you're not telling me the truth." his voice assertive but his gaze on you softens, wanting you to be comfortable with him like you usually are.

you let out a deep sigh.

"he looked at me before that moment and I assumed he did that to impress me..." your voice trails off, trying to look at taehyun through your peripheral, not wanting to look at him directly. "I don't know tyun, he seemed pretty genuine and he's kinda cute too."

after explaining as honestly as you could, the air was filled with a short silence between the both of you and distant shouting and birds flying by.

"I can be kinda cute too." taehyun grumbles under his breath and you swear it wasn't some sort of auditory hallucination. that is what you heard, right?

"hm?" you turn to him, tilting your head to the side waiting for him to hopefully repeat himself.

"why'd you want him when I've been here all this time." his rhetorical reply left you blinking a couple of times, processing what exactly he's inferring. "in short, you have me. and I have you."

your chest starts heaving slowly. taehyun, your best friend, really said that. his fingers gently caresses yours, also supporting your weight on the grass while you both lean back.

the train of thought in your discombobulated mind is disrupted by him calling your name, now in a softer tone.

"so, what do you say? I'm willing to risk this friendship and try something more with you, ___. if you let me."

his says his confession, almost as if he's been yearning for you to be his for a while, but is it wrong that you still can't stop thinking about yeonjun?

"taehyun," you sit upright, holding his hand in yours. "I'm going to be honest with you, but promise me don't get mad."

the hope in taehyuns eyes disappears, feeling his heart sink to his stomach ready for your rejection. he nods.

"I love you, and always have, but that's because you're my best friend. and at the moment, yeonjun left quite the impression on me so he's still on my mind, but there's nothing much that helps him in his favour."

"so what you're saying is?" your fingers interlock with his, your thumb rubbing the back of his.

"is that I'm willing to try this with you, because, unlike you," you tease, "I like to give people chances."

you prod at his side as he exhales and rolls his eyes playfully.

"I couldn't risk you being whisked away before I even made a move on you." taehyun defends himself the best he could.

"no but really, from time to time I have felt like I've loved you more than a friend. so that's why I want to try, but can we take it slow?"

"yeah, of course. I'll just have to push yeonjun out your thoughts first." his comment makes you laugh.

taehyun's singular dimpled smile returns and it's contagious, he has you smiling back at him too. you didn't realise when you two ended up sitting closer to each other to close the gap, but you took the opportunity to lean your head on his shoulder.

"and you are kinda cute."

#cee ᡣ𐭩 #mapofthemazeinthemirror ᡣ𐭩 #[ 🪴 ] — asks.#[ 🧸 ] — mutuals.#I got carried away lmao #again probably took a different turn #but :>#I love taehyun too hehe #taehyun soft thoughts #taehyun soft hours #taehyun fluff #taehyun angst

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paragonrobits · 3 months

Text

in terms of calvin and hobbes' characterization, there's a LOT to unpack and to explore; how Calvin's musings have an entertaining friction with Hobbes' much more down to earth mentality, the way their respective characters conflict and yet vibe so well together as contrasts and foils, Hobbes getting out of the way as Calvin literally runs into his own philosphical consequences, but while Hobbes is my favorite of the two, I think the most revealing and my personal favorite Calvin moment is the Dead Bird Strip:

Calvin is generally characterized as a mischevious young boy; a kid of his age during the time this was written would USUALLY be written as being sort of casually cruel in an innocent way. not meaning to be cruel, but not yet really getting the impact of his own actions. We might expect him to go 'ew, gross! that's COOL!' or poke at it

but no. his immediate reaction to seeing a dead animal is to mourn it.

His first thought afterwards is to realize how beautiful it is, how delicate... and how tragic the inevitability of death is.

that we kind of CAN'T think about the inevitable. How fragile everything is, that the world itself is cruel and unforgiving, and there's not really anything you can do about it. The mind can't deal with it.

So people become cruel, or at least thoughtless.

It leaves off on Calvin musing that it will make sense when they grow up, which I feel is something that's meant to punch adult readers in the face. More so, if you're like me and were a young child reading this.

It didn't make sense then. It probably doesn't now. It's just something you must live with.

And the strip ends as they silently look up and observe the flight of unfallen birds.

There's a strong melancholy element to Calvin And Hobbes' more somber moments; a wistful awareness of the fragility of life. It's there in moments like them unable to do anything about suburban homes destroying the woods near their home, or Calvin struggling to come to terms with the sudden and unavoidable death of a baby raccoon he tried to help.

It's one reason the strip has survived so long in the hearts and minds of people. nearly 20 years after the final strip was published, it still feels so earnest, real and genuine. It's moments like this; there's no relief gag, no hidden humor, nothing to defuse the tension of this sort of moment. They just have to live with what they can't ignore.

And I think, from a characterization angle, the fact that Calvin's immediate response to finding a dead animal was to mourn the cruelty of an indifferent universe and the beautiful fragility of life, is quite possibly his most fundamental characteristic.

#tw animal death #calvin and hobbes #art #comics #queued

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ten-shi-fandoms · 1 year

Text

Cute things they do Blue Lock Addition pt 2:

___________________

Cw: Characters x Reader, Gender neutral Reader, mentions of love bites (Ryusei), kissing, showing Reader off (Ryusei), just pure fluff

Characters: Ryusei Shidou, Sae Itoshi

______________________________________

Sae Itoshi ⚽😮‍💨:

In all honesty Sae isn't cute-

Like this man is hot, cool, sexy, and all that but he isn't cute.

Even so he has some cute things he does

Things like dancing with you whenever theres music playing, swaying you around the kitchen even though he only did it to get something, leaning closer to you as you speak are just some of them.

And he does them almost everytime he sees you.

Since Sae is a pro football(soccer) player he isn't home often so he makes it up when he's there.

He'll even be extra nice if he's been gone longer than he expected too.

He'll hold you so gently that it makes you fall asleep, but right before your eyes close you can sometimes can just barely make out the small smile on his face as he watches you drift off.

But if he isn't there expect gifts, and lots of calls.

The gifts are full of everything.

Things from expensive jewelry all the way to the two feet plushie you saw that one time you got them.

Calls with Sae are sweet too.

He always makes sure to ask how your day was along with other questions before he even talks about himself to you.

He also will tap small messages in morse code on a surface if he's in public and doesn't feel like listening to people question who he's talking to.

Though there is one thing that is the cutest thing with him.

It's his kisses.

Sae isn't really a vocal person, so he makes up for it in other things.

The only way to really see Sae's inner thoughts are through his kisses.

His kisses are bold almost fiery, yet passionate and loving.

His kisses always leave you in a state of shock, but you get brought out of it quickly when you see a gentle smile gracing his lips at your reaction.

If you point it out he will stop smiling and tell you to call a uber home-

___________________________________________

Ryusei Shidou ⚽😈:

This goblin is on demon time-

He will rarely do anything cute, romantic, sweet, etc.

He is the definition of a gremlin and its so much worse when your dating him.

To him your his property so he can do what he wants with you which ends up in lots of fights both verbal and physical (he tries to pull his punches when you fist fight unless you really piss him off)

The only cute thing goblin will ever do with you is sleep.

Thats it.

Nothing else.

No sweet kisses, no soft hugs, no prasie, nothing just sleep.

Okay all jokes aside- he doesn't do many cute things with you.

Sure you play fight, have sweet banter, and play pranks on each other (his worse than yours- like dog food for breakfast-) but they aren't cute.

When you play fight he aims to make you laugh or scold him there isn't anything cute about it (except his cheeky little smile), when you have banter he swings on you out of fun or gives you noogies, the pranks are usually downright gross on his part.

But when your sleeping its different.

Ryusei is a loud person, but when you sleep he tries to stay as silent as possible.

He loves being close to you and having your sleeping body close to his makes him admire you.

He'll run his fingers in your hair, along your back, kiss your ears, gently rub the curves of your face but he only does this when your sleeping.

Sure he loves your smile and the sound of your scolding but when your sleeping he gets to admire the peaceful beauty of your features.

Everything is still and he loves it.

Sometimes he gets carried away with admiring you that he will bite you.

Yes you heard me bite you-

He does it for three reasons.

One because your so adorable when your sleeping that you looked tasty-

Two he loves biting you to watch you squirm subconsciously-

And three, he does it to make sure your real and he isn't imaging it.

That your there and in your most vulnerable state nonetheless.

It fills him with so much pride that he'll show you off.

He'll purposely rub his hands along your neck or collarbone even going so far as to pull up your shirt to your stomach to show off the marks he left on your skin.

Its a sign of ownership and its a sign that you belong to him (bonus points if you bite him to because now its shows the world your each others).

He can't help it.

I mean how else is the world supposed to see his beloved?

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osakiharu · 2 years

Text

WHEN THEY HAVE CRUSH ON YOU !! part 3

[request]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

content : gender neutral reader, fluff, nothing else tbh… lmk if i miss anything hehe

characters : izana, wakasa, kakucho

notes : i told myself i would keep this at 2 parts. but i love wakasa and izana so i had to do this one <3 but this is the last one, i didn’t expect so many people to enjoy these hcs so much so thankyou !!

˗ˏˋ IZANA

- definitely one of the bolder ones when it comes to his crush :0

- he doesn’t shy away from calling you little nicknames at every chance he gets

- “you okay, darling?” “how’s my angel, hm?” “c’mere, baby, sit down. my home is yours, you know that, don’t you?”

- he eats up every single reaction you give him with a wide grin on his face <3 his favourite is when you get shy or flustered he thinks it’s so cute <3

- he also purposefully thinks out loud and kinda speaks to you as if he’s already your boyfriend (if that makes sense ?) in a lot of situations :0 - like he’ll give you compliments that don’t necessarily sound like something that comes from your friend (but not in a creepy, gross, icky way don’t worry 🫶)

- for example, if you’re showing him an outfit you like or new clothes you bought, he’ll sit there and say something like “yeah, it suits you, i like it.” and that would be enough. but then he’ll go like, “you’re so pretty, you know that? prettiest thing i’ve ever seen… y’like a little angel, aren’t you?”

- izana genuinely thinks you fell down from heaven. there’s no way you didn’t when you’re so perfect and beautiful <3

- another situation he does that in is when another guy is involved 🧍‍♀️- once he’s successfully managed to scare off the poor guy that just wanted to get your number, he’ll stand there next to you saying stuff like “if he comes and speaks to you, you tell me, okay? can’t have anyone thinkin’ they can take you away from me, can i?”

- idk if you already guessed but he’s very protective of you and he can get jealous pretty easily :0 - if you bring up any other person in front of him and he thinks there’s a possibility that you have a crush on them, he’ll bring up every single negative thing he can think of to do with that person (even if it’s something silly and insignificant). bro is having none of it

- “c’mon, you can do better than them!”

- so yeah he kinda just acts like he’s your boyfriend already (in his head you’re his so it’s not surprising)

- you can tell he has a soft spot for you - he can be perceived as quite intimidating, threatening, simply just scary by some people, but of course he has to be he has a gang to run !!

- not with you. he’s almost like a different person when he’s with you - izana is always so calm and gentle and patient with you <3 he doesn’t even think he really has it in him to be upset with you <3

- hehe izana likes to cuddle with you a lot :0 like when you come over to watch a movie or something he always has you tucked into his side, half asleep <3 - does he stare at you when you sleep? yeah… its because you’re so pretty don’t worry 🫶

- or he’s just trying to guess what dream you’re having idk

- but you see. izana has his secret weapon. and that is his guitar 😼 - ooo he loves being able to bring out his guitar in the evening when you’re at his house and play your favourite songs <3

- he will literally ask you to give him songs to learn for you. it doesn’t matter how hard they are, even if he thinks it’ll take him years to learn, he’ll still do it for you <3

- and then he’ll play them all for you when you’re sat in his room at god knows what time of night, both of you smiling like idiots because it’s such a nice moment between you :((

- sometimes he likes to write little songs or tunes about you ! he’ll never show them to you but he does

- i also think he would take you with him every time he goes to get a new fish for his tank hehe

- he lets you pick out the one you like the most and if you want, he lets you give it a name n everything - and because they’re tropical fish they’re all super pretty and colourful so you’re there trying to pick just one like 😮 and it makes him giggle

- once you picked one out because you said it was the same colours as his earrings so it was “an izana fish” and now it’s his favourite <3

- he also has one that’s got your favourite colours on it and he named it after you <3 - if he ever sees those two fish swimming around with each other he’s sat there like “yeah see even the fish know we’re meant to be 🤷‍♀️”

- it doesn’t really take him long to tell you, he’s pretty straight forward with it too :0 - might not take the rejection too well but it’s fine because we love izana so we won’t reject him 😏

- he would find some random thing to blame it on anyways - even if you rejected him and smacked him in the face he still wouldn’t be mad at you

- maybe…

˗ˏˋ WAKASA

- he definitely acts like he’s not interested in you in that way at all. no matter how much his friends want to tease him or suggest that he might have a little crush on you, he’ll never admit it

- lowkey because he thinks he’ll get over it in a few weeks so he’s like okay whatever (spoiler : he does not get over you and he’s actually in love with you 🤷‍♀️)

- shinichiro will be like “there’s no way you don’t wanna date them, stop lying” and suddenly wakasa’s pulling out every single rejection shin’s ever received telling him he’s not allowed to give him dating advice until he gets a girlfriend 🧍‍♀️

- so it takes him a while to start making moves on you :/

- at first he tries to give you the hint by doing the tiniest thing ever and expecting you to just be like “ohhh, he likes me, makes sense 😮”

- for example, he’ll sit and stare at you, not in a weird-staring-problem way, he’s just admiring you <3 - but if you turn to look in his direction he’ll hold eye contact with you for a second smirk and then look away or be like “what?”

- and he thinks that’s all he has to do meanwhile you’re sat there like huh ??

- lazy wakasa >:(

- i think he could fit into the ‘ladies man’ category 🤨 i saw someone call him that once and agreed immediately. there’s no way he looks and acts like that and isn’t, you can’t tell me otherwise.

- but he gets his friends not to tell you if you don’t know already :0 just because he doesn’t want you to think he’s just messing with you for no reason, he wants you to know that his feelings are genuine <3

- he likes to tease you and try to make you flustered n stuff <3 (obviously) - his little secret weapon is that he owns a gym so he can come up with some ass excuse to teach you self defence

- “what if you get into trouble ‘n’ i’m not there to help you, angel? what then, hm? i gotta teach you how to stay safe don’t i?”

- yeah okay 😒

- at first he just teaches you fr because even though this was kinda just an excuse to see you more and flirt with you, he does genuinely want to make sure you can protect yourself if you ever need to - he won’t admit it but he does worry about you 🫶

- but then he really starts trying to fluster you n stuff <3 he does little things like leaning in closer to your face and looking at your lips, leaving lingering touches wherever he’s holding you, whispering in your ear how good you’re doing, stuff like that

- points out that you’re getting flustered too which makes you want to punch him in the face 😐

- “your cheeks are red, sweets, you got somethin’ you wanna tell me?”

- but you both enjoy his gym sessions a lot because you always find something to giggle over until your stomach hurts

- he likes to do those little flirty things outside the gym, too, especially if you’re with other people - attention whore wakasa confirmed 🫶 he doesn’t like being ignored by you at all

- he’s always got his hands resting on your shoulders or he’ll put a hand on the small of your back to move past you - other times he’ll make sure you always stay sat down next to him with his arm around your shoulders

- of course if it makes you uncomfortable he’ll stop ! he doesn’t want to upset you or weird you out or anything

- he likes to scare off other guys like he will straight up tell them you’re his. then he has to go and convince you that he was a shitty guy and that he was no good for you

- “don’t want any of those shitty guys going ‘n’ hurting you now, do i? ‘s best you stick with me, ‘kay?” boy.

- he pats your head a lot. doesn’t know why but he likes to

- he also likes to get your to wear his massive jackets, he thinks you look so cute in them <3

- he’s not the most romantic person ever so he never really tries to come up with cute little secret date ideas, even though senju throws the odd idea at him he’s always like “i’ll see them at the gym tomorrow though, it’s fine!”

- lazy lazy wakasa 😒

- if you reject him he’ll probably be embarrassed - purely because then shinichiro would have something to make fun of him for in return 🤼

- but it’s fine because we won’t reject wakasa because… lord 🥰

˗ˏˋ KAKUCHO

- an angel.

- i feel like he won’t ever expect you to like him back so he never really makes any proper moves on you :/

- he kinda just goes along pretending he doesn’t have a crush on you and just enjoys hanging out with you when he can :( - very much just admires you from afar type of crush

- he does ask you to meet up a lot though ! like you’ll get home after meeting up with him and 5 minutes later you get a text saying something like - “when do you finish work tomorrow?” “are you free any other time this week? today was really fun!”

- baby just wants to see you :(

- you also can’t meet up with him without getting a text on your way home saying something like “are you home yet?” “let me know when you get home it’s getting dark :)” “be careful, btw, next time i’ll give you a lift home!”

- he thinks he’d go crazy if anything bad happened to you :/

- it literally keeps him awake at night sometimes. ask izana, he’s had plenty of “do you think they’re home yet, they haven’t responded yet?” messages from a worried kakucho 😭

- which is one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to tell you about his involvement with gangs - the last thing he wants is to have you become involved in any way possible with something to do with his or any other gangs and to have you be put in danger because of him

- he also doesn’t want to scare you off :/ - him thinking you won’t ever reciprocate his feelings is enough, he doesn’t need you disliking him or being weirded out by him on top of it

- kakucho isn’t the most verbal person ever when it comes to affection - more because he gets nervous but he also just prefers good old physical affection <3

- he likes to cuddle with you. it doesn’t matter what you’ve planned on doing with him that day, he will always find a way to end up back at someone’s house so you can both cuddle <3

- he was nervous the first time he tried to initiate it because he didn’t want you to turn around and smack him in the middle of the movie you were watching 💀 - but it’s fine because you didn’t and now it feels like a little routine <3

- sometimes he even organises movie nights for the sole purpose of being able to watch the entire thing whilst lying on your chest 🫶

- “y/n roll over- no, just onto your back, idiot!”

- he also falls asleep on you a lot <3 - he feels very safe and comfortable around you and it’s one of the only times he feels truly relaxed so he comes out of his shell a lot more <3

- so sometimes when he’s feeling confident he’ll kiss your hand hehe - but then plays it off as a joke or tries to convince you that that’s just what friends do

- he doesn’t really get jealous, more worried that you’ll find someone that you like more than him and you’ll eventually leave him :((

- he doesn’t say anything about it to you though he just sits and worries about it by himself 😭

- i think he likes listening to music with you <3 he likes to show you his record collection and gets you to show him songs that you like

- he makes a playlist of songs you show him and puts it on in when he’s lying in bed thinking about you and smiling like an idiot <3

- he really wants you to like izana. you and izana are probably the most important people in his life so he really wants you to get along well 🫶

- he doesn’t think he’ll ever confess to you, he’s happy with what y’all have with each other atm 🤷‍♀️

- unless izana steps in and tries to convince him to do otherwise 😏

reblogs appreciated <3

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musings-ofthe-unamused · 4 months

Text

Until the Final Bullet Pt. 1(Call of Duty)

Pairing: Price x Reader

Word Count: 2020

Warnings: Violence, angst, military men

A/N: Imagine getting stuck in the UK during the apocalypse that would suck

Everyone knew it was coming. Years and years of nonstop war would surely lead to dire outcomes. And that outcome was the apocalypse. What people didn’t know was that the cause was a zombie outbreak. It had to be a zombie outbreak.

You always told yourself if this ever happened, you would swan dive straight off the roof of a building. Who wants to live a life surrounded by rotting flesh monsters? Not you. It was enough that the apocalypse had broken out while you were on vacation, but the fact that it was zombies made matters worse. Much worse.

You crouched in the back of an abandoned supermarket. It had taken you days to make your way over here without attracting any attention. Everything was a complete mess. Fires, overturned vehicles, houses ransacked. It was hard to find supplies and it’s only been two months since the outbreak. You took a can of beans and stabbed into the lid with your knife. It made a hissing noise and juice bubbles from the hole.

Gross.

Back in the good ole USA, you would’ve been in luck. Every food had much more preservatives than anywhere else. You could’ve had your fill to eat. Yet, you were now eating sad British food. Beans. Not even the good baked beans, with little bacon pieces. Cold, wet, and flavorless beans. You used your knife as a spoon and shoveled them into your mouth. At least it was better than nothing.

You didn’t know how much longer of this you could take. You missed having junk food for dinner, you missed being able to walk around with the threat of being bit, and you missed fresh. Fuck, you really missed it. Everything stinks literally. As you ate, you thought of what your plan was. Killing yourself? Raiding all the stores you can, gathering supplies, giving them to a group of people, and then killing yourself? No. If things were better and you had a lover, you could've been all poetic and turned with them. Instead, you were lonely.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you heard a groaning noise. And then several others. The thought of going out by being eaten by a group of zombies was the least appealing way to die. You made your way silently through the supermarket towards the toy section. You grabbed the loudest looking toy you could before heading outside. There was a small horde of zombies just outside. You counted them, for a total of four. You could have easily killed them, but you didn’t want their rotting guts and blood all over you..

You silently opened the door and slid out. With a quick hand, you turned on the toy that’s glaringly loud. You threw the toy as far as possible. The rotting creatures immediately were on high alert and slowly trudged towards the noise. You slowly walked backwards, keeping an eye on them in case they decided to turn around. After going a sizable distance, you turned to escape. Hands grabbed your shoulders.

“Hey there, lass.”

Your immediate reaction was to clock the stranger right in the face. But he was obviously way stronger than you. He grabbed your fist and squeezed it tightly. Your eyes narrowed. The man was tall, with a faux hawk. He had a goofy smile that was a start contrast to his tactical gear that he wore. There was a patch on his vest, Military.

“Let me go.”

“Now, now.” He clicked his tongue, releasing your fist. “I won’t hurt you.”

“That’s what everyone says.” You pushed past him. “Now if you excuse me, I’d like to be away from the horde of zombies before the toy shuts off.”

You started to walk away. He followed, Of course he did. Why wouldn’t he? You try to walk fast to keep your distance, but it was no use. He had on that same goofy smile.

You sighed. “Why are you still following me?”

“Because that was a good trick you used. Using toys to lure the zombies away. How did you come up with it?”

“I didn't. I saw it in an anime.”

“Oh.”

“Why are you following me?”

The man grinned, the lilt of his accent heavy. “I’m not. I just happen to be going in the same place.”

You got even more suspicious. You had to run into your fair share of people that seemed friendly, but would end up robbing you blind. Of course, you’ve seen enough zombie movies and played enough games to know better. Your hand rested on your knife holster. You gripped the handle, ready to strike.

“My name is Soap, by the way.”

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow and he nodded. You scoffed. “Ironice. You smell like ass.”

“Not worse than the zombies though, right?”

“No comment. Now stay away.”

You kept walking. The man, Soap, didn’t listen to you. You didn’t know where you were going, exactly, but you knew you didn't want it to be around this man. So you kept walking through the empty streets, hoping that he took the hint and left. But he didn’t. He also wouldn’t stop yapping about some random shit that you had no interest in. Ten minutes later, your knife was pressed against his neck.

“Stop following me or I’ll kill you.”

“That won’t be necessary.” A deeper, much darker voice said from behind you. You could feel the tip of a gun barrel now pressed against the back of your head. You closed your eyes and slowly lowered the knife. You turned to see the man. This guy was even bigger. The clothes he wore were similar to that of Soap’s. He wore a skull mask, making him even more intimidating than the other guy. There was no way you could take them. In a fight, of course.

“Using a gun? Really?”

The skull face shrugged. “I don’t see any zombies around here.”

“Yeah, that’s what they all say. Then they’re eaten.”

Soap laughed. “You’re a pessimistic one, aren't you?”

I just rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I won’t cause trouble , so let me leave.”

“No can do, sweetheart.” Skull face replied. He placed the gun back in its holster. “You shouldn’t be traveling around.”

“Ghost is right.” Soap said, crossing his arms.

Great. Two big and buff guys won’t let you leave. This is just peachy. You hated being a group, but you hated military men even more. They were nothing but disgusting and violent assholes that are no longer barred by the law. Bad news. But what was pissing you off even more was the fact that they assumed you couldn’t take care of yourself. Which you totally could.

“I’m fine on my own.”

Ghost eyed you. “With as frail as you look?”

“I hate British food.”

“Can you even use anything other than a knife?”

“I can use a bow or crossbow.”

“No guns?” Soap asked.

You shook your head. “Guns are too loud. Plus it’s hard to find bullets.”

“Then come with us. We’ll help.” Ghost said. “We have a whole entire base filled with food,water, and weapons.”

“No. I don’t trust the military.”

“Special forces, lass. We’re special forces.”

“Doesn’t make a difference. Goodbye.”

They didn’t try to stop you. Instead, they followed. If you were stronger, you would have killed them on the spot. But alas, you were just a normal citizen. Kind of. Your eyes scanned the terrain as you walked. There were always at least one or two zombies around. And as if on cue, one appeared hobbling down the street.

“I got it.” Soap said, taking out his gun.

“Don’t-“

It was too late. Soap shot the zombie straight in the head. The sound was loud and rang out in the empty streets. That’s when the rest of the horde showed up. There must have been ten of them, if not more. You facepalmed, angrily turning to face the two military men.

“Are you guys idiots?”

“Watch it.” Ghost growled. “This isn’t the time to insult us.”

Soap frowned. “It seemed clear enough.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s how it always is. If there’s one zombie, always assume here’s more. I thought the special forces were supposed to be smart.”

Instead of listening to what they have to say, you quickly ran ahead, looking for cover. There was a large walled area ahead. The walls were made of makeshift metal haphazardly welded together. In front of those walls were bushed that you promptly hid yourself in. You stayed completely still as the horde made their way to the noise. This wasn't going to be your problem to deal with. As soon as the horde descended on the two military idiots, you'll make your escape.

A loud boom shook your body. You clamped your hands over your ears and your eyes squeezed shut. Before you could even get your bearings, the noise happened again. More gunshots joined in. It was official. You probably were going to die here because of the trigger happy men around you. You tried to make yourself as small as possible and wait for a moment of silence. If that would ever come.

"Kid."

You kept your hands over your ears, even as the cacophonous shooting stopped. A hand clamped down on your shoulder. The rancid scent of rotting flesh didn't immediately hit your nose, so you knew that this was a human. You slowly opened your eyes and lowered your hands. As you stood up, you saw that Ghost, Soap, and two strangers were staring at you. You cleared your throat awkwardly.

"So… y'all always attract zombies like this?"

Ghost scoffed. "Thanks for running away. Real tough, huh?"

"Okay," You crossed your arms. "It's not my fault you decided to be an idiot and use a gun to kill a zombie."

"Enough." The man with the bucket hat and mustache stepped in front of you, blocking your view of Ghost. "Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"

His eyes were kind and soft as they traveled over your face. His hands were on your shoulders, giving you a reassuring squeeze. A sense of comfort washed over you. It had been a while since you felt this way. You nodded silently.

He gave you a smile. "Good, good. I'm Captain John Price. You can call me Price."

Your nose scrunched and that comfort morphed into disdain. "And I'm making my leave."

"Aww, c'mon!" Soap whined your name. His lips formed a pout. "We just saved you from a horde of zombies!"

"That you guys attracted! I'm not staying with a bunch of trigger happy military freaks."

"Price…" Ghost warned, his eyes boring into yours. "Do something."

Price waved his hand to calm Ghost down. He then gave you another smile, his eyes crinkling. "Stay with us just for the night, sweetheart. You can have a shower and some food. Then after you're rested, you can make your decision."

You hesitated. You had enough food and you knew how to survive a night out here. But a shower? You looked at the group of men. Maybe while they were asleep you could snag some stuff for yourself and then leave without them ever knowing. You nodded once. Price's smile went to a full on grin filled with sunshine.

"Great. Come this way."

The makeshift wall had a gated entrance just a couple of meters away. Your eyes widened as the group led you into their base. And it was a big base. Trucks, a tank, several buildings, and a long row of tents were spread out before you. People milled about. From soldiers to families, it looked like a whole town. A sinking feeling filled your stomach. You never did well around big groups around this. It always ended up badly.

Your steps slowed down. "Uh… I-I think I changed my mind."

Soap linked his arm around yours. "Don't be scared, lass. We don't bite."

"That's not-"

"You're staying here and that's final." Ghost grumbled, coming up on your other side. They had blocked you in.

"I'm so going to regret this."

#x reader #fanfic #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #call of duty #cod #captain price x reader #price x reader #john price #captain price

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thygoddessouijathicc · 6 months

Text

Bishop Edibility Tierlist; A very deeply serious essay about which bishop would taste the best if you had to eat one of them for any reason

Aight, 88% of you voted in favour of this being released, so this is on you. This blood is on YOUR hands. Just remember that as you read this.

So you all remember that essay I did about how the bishops all had some kinda trauma or different reactions to purgatory and shit and how that was such a serious thing analyzing dialogue and reactions and stuff-?

Well there are TWO wolves inside of me, and one of them writes serious researched essays, it’s time you meet the other.

To preface this, this essay is entirely a joke please don’t take any word of this seriously.

To start with, technically anything is edible if you try hard enough, sometimes only once but I digress, however some things are more appetizing than others.

For this essay we will be taking evidence from canon in some cases on things you can eat, but assuming that this only means these things are more appetizing in this world, not that anything you can’t feast upon very specifically in the game is somehow inedible. Meat is meat.

Also Narinder will be referred to as a bishop because he was one.

Ok let’s start our list.

At the absolute bottom of the edibility tierlist is Narinder. Narinder is a cat. While technically cats are indeed edible by the laws of meat is meat, cats hold a special place in the hearts of many including myself.

But to be honest the real reason that Narinder holds this spot is meat quantity and quality of him specifically. Narinder, holds very little meat. Sure he has a head, but his arms are skeletal and it’s safe to assume possibly a lot of the rest of his body tis also but frail bone. Possibly what is not could also be rotten if he’s that kind of god of death that qualifies as a corpse. And while meat is meat, Narinder not only has very little, but what he does have may be poor quality. This cements him in the shameful bottom spot.

He’s also a-

Moving on, next, quite regrettably, is Leshy. Leshy is a major jump in quality from Narinder.

We don’t know much about bushworms or their anatomy but what we do know, is Leshy is dummy thicc, this means he has a large quantity of meat.

Unfortunately Leshy is also a worm which isn’t exactly the most appetizing creature to put in your gaping maw so that docks him a few points.

However the true reason he cannot be higher is that depending on your read of his anatomy, Leshy could qualify as a salad, and EWWWWW VEGITALS!!! 🤢🤮🤮

Moving on to the “would eat again category” we start with Heket.

Now it should not be news to anyone that frogs are edible, especially to French people. But I don’t believe in French people, they aren’t real. Anyway as I’m saying, you can eat frogs to your hearts content!

There are sanitation issues with Anura apparently being super gross which docks some points but overall, Heket is a solid option.

Now we’ve reached “ok hear me out” territory with Shamura.

Spiders are a major food source in cult of the lamb. Which is a bit questionable for a few reasons, including that there are multiple spider characters and Webber exists but also small spiders on the ground which seem to be a separate species which raises a lot of questions possibly best gone unanswered.

What really matters is what you can do with the small spiders you find around, you can chase them down and when you catch them, they drop meat. My friends have told me that this means I’m just taking meat they are holding, after all you can get berries if the spider has taken them.

What I say to this is: but the idea of lamb running around at night and picking up whole large spiders off the ground and feeding them to their followers is fucking hilarious, and also they always drop the same meat and never berries unless they have picked them up. You’d think if I’m just taking what they have and they will eat berries as well as meat, that I’d get berries more often. Nay, only when picked up from my farms.

This leads to the only possible conclusion being that people in the cult of the lamb universe feed often on spiders, that’s right, Helob eating followers is VENGEANCE.

So, we have established spiders are very edible in cult of the lamb, and you know what Shamura is? A giant fucking spider. They are edible, I rest my case.

Now let’s move on to first place oh boy who is it, probably who you should have expected, Kallamar.

His name sounds like Calamari to start with and not only can you eat squids in real life, you can in the game (similar weird separate species thing with spiders only in this case it’s more definitive that you can very much eat the squids themselves.)

Kallamar would also likely cry if you proclaimed your desire to consume him, misery not only makes meat better but his tears could be seasoning!

Not even to mention the fact that after beating him, it would be a moment of victoriousness and pure vindictive nature, to proceed to eat Kallamar, and vindictive nature is something I most definitely do not lack as I cuss out bishops every time I see the statues after I beat them.

Squids also don’t have many bones so unlike the others who you’d have to spend an extensive time processing before eating, Kallamar would be easy and his bones make up very little of his composition.

In conclusion, why did you read this whole essay it’s not even that funny.

And those of you who voted to have this released. Are you happy?

Are you not entertained!?

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