#perfect waifu material if you ask me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

Text

@butterfly-mochi Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh

Universe Reversal 2

Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)

Zhongli the F2P

The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.

So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.

He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.

This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.

He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.

He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).

Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).

He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.

Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.

Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.

Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.

On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.

“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”

Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message

Childe The Whaler

This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.

How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.

And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.

The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.

At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*

He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-

Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.

Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.

Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.

His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).

Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha

Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.

“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”

Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...

Ganyu the Employed

Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.

How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!

Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!

Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.

During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.

The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.

She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.

Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.

Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”

Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho

Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.

At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.

Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.

When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.

“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”

Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...

so enjoyable...

@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact ganyu #exile.circlet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #reeeeeeeeee #gender neutral

1K notes · View notes

threads-of-trust · 3 years

Text

🗝️ Title Promo 🗝️

Do you hear that? The fuzzy, annoying, and empty noise of static playing from your television? I can hear it. It’s driving me mad. Turn it off. Make it stop.

The sound of metal clicking on the ground came loudly from the speakers, followed by even more noise. The synchronized hums of various voices, the dragging of heavy material across the ground, the robotic sounding giggle that overpowered it all and seemed extremely close. All sounds mixed together into the perfect symphony of lunacy.

The static halted, and the source of the sounds stood in front of your screen.

“..............” The glowing face encased in shadows stares unrelentingly at you. The muffled noise of a voice came from its chest. The robot tried to speak with no voice or mouth to do so. Silently, she opted to point up towards the sky. The camera followed.

@ask-a-gremlin @ask-the-ultimate-assassin @iitxgether-in-hxrm0ni @crxate-the-nxw-wxrld @ask-shslpianist @forgiving-detective @ask-nondespair-kiibo @ask-the-shsl-maid @ask-the-ultimate-cosplayer @ask-the-tennis-pro-shell @ask-theshadowcyborg @class-79 @ask-despair-ultimate @snippets-of-despair @ask-kazuichi-iguess @askthewritertsumiki @askthe-journalist-andthe-broker @loudgothbf @ultimate-waifu-bait @askultimateluckytrash @your-despairful-ruler @ouranswer @hopeforthefuture @ask-sayomi-ouma @a-liar-and-a-killer @cooking-with-despair @askmikan-tsumiki @bloodyclues @ask-naehinahara @pre53-class @false-mastermind @kokichi-ouma16

#🧵spin the threads: the game begins (promo)🪡#just to let everyone know!#you will not be able to interact with the characters through interactions #only asks #that goes for this promo as well #you may reblog this with your character(s) reactions but it will not turn into a thread #anyway #enjoy the show :)#for more info check out the pinned post on this blog

59 notes · View notes

kareofbears · 3 years

Note

Thoughts on Shusumi as a ship?

i think ive stared at this ask long enough to type out something half decent

short answer: no, sorry not for me, but its not her fault.

the rest is under the cut because i love to prattle

long answer: ive talked about this before and ill keep talking about it, which is the tragedy of yoshizawa sumire’s character. basically atlus decided that they wanted to make sumire the perfect girl in the entire game. she has to hit every single box on the waifu checklist without fail.

they introduce her as the mysterious character--she saves joker right at the beginning of the game and its supposed to be a shocking moment for returning players because ‘why does joker need help from some girl oh my she must be so cool!’ and immedietely youre supposed to be intrigued by her and her mystery. but then right after they do that, they re introduce her by doing the most stereotypical archetype of the male love interest saving the cute small girl from a creepy man to show how good of a guy he is and in that moment Atlus had locked themselves into an uneven power dynamic between shusumi--she feels indebted to him because he saved her! so she has to work hard to make it up to him! classic anime trope because dudebros love that whole ‘girl throws herself at me because of how amazing i am’ thing. and its supposed to be a fun play because ‘how fun, they saved each other’ but honestly sumire literally did not need to save joker in sae’s palace because???? what??? it just doesnt make sense?????? even the game couldnt explain that part properly afterwards.

and to add insult to injury, they make her call him senpai. theres this trope in anime called the imoto trope which translates to “little sister.” this could be non-sexual/romantic but many times it just means that a girl looks for guidance to a male figure in her life so he can “protect” her so she feels indebted/reliant to him, etc. the fact that shes the only one calling him senpai makes her perfectly slot into the imoto trope. it’s tripe. its annoying. its demeaning. it’s especially infuriating because futaba is already the imoto figure in this stupid game and she works perfectly without a romantic subplot. they just want to give akira another leg-up over sumire for the dudebros because dudebros eat that kind of shit up

and thats the most annoying thing!!

look, i love yoshizawa sumire with my entire heart. shes a great character with an incredible backstory. ive written a lot of fic about her. i love her. shes great. Atlus knows shes great--they made her great because in order to make a perfect waifu you need to make her three dimensional because the dudebros would never accept a half-assed waifu because jeez who do you think we are

but. atlus did this horrifically infuriating thing where they know sumire is great BUT they did it in a way where she will never ever be better than, or threaten the power and competence, of the player.

its like they’re (atlus) playing the most infuriating game of im not touching you when they were trying to make sumires character. they make this character and she’s super cool (but not rude! because if shes rude then shes a bitch and she wont be waifu material!) and she’s a badass (but she isnt as good as joker! because he still has to be the most skillful character for some reason!) she has to be pretty (but she can’t be interested in shopping or makeup because shes supposed to be smart and not like other girls!)

because atlus miscalculated while they were developping sumire--because they were so desperate in making her a three dimmensional character (because remember, she can’t be one of those normal girls, she has to be different), they erased who she was to the point that she isn’t a character anymore. she’s a girl that’s ten tropes rolled into one--she’s the badass good girl, she’s a girl with a tragic backstory so akira can ‘fix’ her (her flaws are all accounted for and fixed and that is not a good thing in writing but i wont get into it now). its like they wrote this great backstory for a character and then panicked that you might not like her, so they shoved in twelve other tactics to make her likeable.

she’s pretty, she’s deep, she’s perfect. she’s hollow. Yoshizawa Sumire only exists to be a love interest in persona 5 royal.

she can’t stand on her own legs as a character because she isn’t a character--she’s only there to be akira’s perfect other half; from her metaverse outfit, to the weirdly frequent and often one-on-one hangouts the two of them have, to their boss battle??? (oh yes a boss battle is necessary so that these two characters can move past whatever feud they have so their relationship can strengthen and they’re even more perfect together, etc, its another way atlus is forcing us to see how great sumire and akira are together)

and that’s why i dont like shusumi as a ship. because why in hell is atlus trying to shove this “perfect waifu” down our throats when its supposed to be the player’s choice? we as the players have no choice but to see sumire constantly. its like atlus doesnt trust us to see how great their new character is on our own--which is a shame, because ironically if they had given us less sumire screentime i probably would have like how she was used way more.

atlus tried too hard, and that was the cause of sumire’s downfall, and by extension, the downfall of shusumi.

short explanation part two: anyway shusumi isnt for me because it never stood a chance against akiryu

if you like shusumi, great! good for you. but if i was, say, a shuann shipper, i would be so so so annoyed because its like atlus just shafted all of their other characters to make room for their shiny new one.

I don't like shusumi because the result was not enough given the sheer amount of screentime that that had together. It did not justify how much time and development it took away from the other characters. Atlus weakened it's own game by devoting so much of it to shusumi.

#i love this ask #thank you mushroomfusion #ask #asks

7 notes · View notes

whaq · 3 years

Text

Fuck You, Animu (1/4)

A dumbass’ war of heart and mind A few months ago, I hit a creative block. Despite considering myself a jack of many mediums, I couldn’t for the life of me bring myself to make--well... anything. While I do have a Google Keep of creative ideas I’ve come up with over the years, I was unable to find the drive (pun shoehorned) to get started on any of them. This sent me into a bit of a spiral. A lot of creatives probably empathize: you find yourself lacking the motivation to create so it starts to negatively affect your self-worth, which is tied to your ability to make things, and this lack of confidence compels you to just succumb to melancholy, finding yourself the victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy to become a slacker because you think you already ARE one.

I was a couple months into this when a buddy of mine hit me up asking if I heard about a call for local anime reviewers. At that moment, it almost felt like divine intervention from God, who I only ever felt in the burning sensation radiating through me whenever I was within 10 feet of a church. An anime news site, let’s call em Animu, with a relatively large following, was searching for writers who would join their staff to review anime being released in the winter season with a salary to boot. As an avid anime fan myself, who just so happened to have honed his critiquing skills over years of media consumption {that has since ruined my viewing experience for the foreseeable future (I legitimately suck the joy out of every piece of media I consume now)}, I saw this as my opportunity to be able to use my skills for some form of monetary gain; which was always a concern of mine throughout my life. Growing up, I was never really good at anything that could easily become a profession later in life. I was too awful at biology to become a doctor, not smart enough at maths to be the next Pythagoras, nor was I athletic enough to shoot a basketball, let alone make it in the NBA. I was good at talking in, and understanding, English... and that was it. At the time, I didn’t realize I had a knack for writing and oration, but even once I did, I found that the trajectory towards being a professional for either of those fields wasn’t so simple. Most people still have the childish idea that “Oh, writers write books and speakers do… speaking things!” but it waters down such a wide yet closed off section of the professional world. Writing alone has so many different specializations: journalism, screenwriting, book authoring, all such niches that don’t have as established a path as scoring high on the Bar exam or being scouted on varsity; it’s difficult to find a place in this world with that skill set, a fear that a majority of creatives have. So I needed some form of validation, an instance of acceptance that’ll allow me to finally believe that my work is worth something and, most importantly, enjoyed by someone. So I started working on my application for Animu by selecting three different series that I was interested in tackling: Re:Zero, Cells at Work, and Kaguya-Sama: Love is War. Starting from zero The posts after this contain these reviews in the state I submitted to Animu. I spent about a month working on these. Re:Zero’s review was close to my usual style of critique, which focuses on the technical aspects and their execution as well as commentary on any relevant subtext, minus the subtext. I wanted to seem as professional as possible with the first one and tried to keep to the proposed 1200 word word limit. With Cells At Work, however, I tried to have a bit of fun. There were many rumblings around the community about the series’ cancer episode which I was eager to capitalize on. That said, upon rewatching the episode, I came across some potentially problematic scenarios that could’ve been blown out of proportion by some headline-chasing media outlet; so that’s exactly what I did. No, I wouldn’t in my right mind compare chibified blood cells to Nazi sympathizers (then again, I’m never in my right mind). Lastly, was Kaguya-Sama, which became my favorite anime of the past couple years. This series was the first anime that got me to actively follow the source material as it hit two of my most identifying traits, being a cinephile and humor academic, as well as a side I’m slightly embarrassed by, my interest in romantic comedies. I wanted to attempt a review that was just hype-hype-hype as it was what the series sparked within me. Oh, and you SHOULD read Kaguya-Sama. Bleeding out After a modicum of proofreading, as well as some peer review from my closest confidants, I sent over my application and I waited. As my heart raced on the day of the announcement, my name was nowhere to be found. To add insult to injury, I was informed that I scored absolutely horribly by Animu’s criteria, my highest grade being one that’d flunk in the most forgiving of schools. While you’d expect me to be crestfallen, I was actually ecstatic to know that the community I’ve been a part of, a local one no less, had people with an even larger passion and greater skills than even I. As someone who went through childhood being made fun of for my interests that have somehow developed into geek chic and gone mainstream (something that, contrary to most of the community, I’m happy to see), I was glad to see how much people like me had developed from waifu worshipping weaboos to outstandingly ornate otaku. Hell, I was content to have made some content. I was looking forward to seeing the fruits of labor from those who were more deserving than me. So imagine my surprise when what I found posted a month later was absolute garbage. I’m not going to get into detail, seeing as said details could lead to someone getting doxxed just because they didn’t meet MY oh so high standards (/s), but what I will say was that the quality of the content indicated something more telling about the whole ordeal. I have taken part in two completely different student publications in my time, and I can say with utmost certainty that THE GRADE SCHOOLERS I MENTORED WROTE BETTER, AND THEY WEREN’T EVEN PAID. Still, it was nice to know I still had it in me to make something of substance. And on this commemorative day, I open up my blog by making public my entries for all to ridicule. As much as I talked down the winning entries, I don’t believe mine were perfect. Like most of my work, it’s rushed and rambly, full of tangents and misnomers. But, it’s very me, and I’m quite happy to see something from me see the light of day.

I hope you find some amusement in my bemusement.

p.s. Yes, the headers are attempts at relating to the three shows p.p.s.s. Yes, they’re BAD attempts at relating to the three shows

#anime #manga #review #anime review #rant #petty #spite #critic #critique #nerd

2 notes · View notes

johannstutt413 · 4 years

Text

(requested by anonymous)

The Doctor, truth be told, was not a busy man. He spent most of his time sitting at his desk, waiting for Operators to have problems or for missions to go south so he could provide his tactical expertise; in the day-to-day, the logistics runs and the peacekeeping missions, they didn’t need his help, and for some reason his subordinates didn’t like coming to him when they could solve things themselves at a much slower pace, so he had a lot of time to himself in his office to do whatever he wanted.

And unfortunately for him, the Gacha Bug had gotten him.

There was a game he’d found for his tablet that was all about collecting Agents to do combat missions, but the trouble was, all the good characters (or at least the ones he liked watching fight the most) were ludicrously hard to get. For all his efforts, he just did not have the resources to get them consistently. One day, however, everything changed when she walked through the door.

“Doctor? Are you busy?” Jessica stopped by one day with a bag of takeout food. “I was w-wondering if you’d like to eat lunch with me?”

“Lunch? Oh, man, I completely forgot about food, didn’t I? Thanks, Jess! I really owe you one.” He hopped to his feet, phone still in his hand as he scowled at another terrible set of pulls.

Of course, she noticed this. “Are you playing a game, Doctor?”

“I am, and I’m losing,” he sighed. “The pull rates are just ridiculous for these characters!”

“You play Agents of Terra, Doctor?”

He looked back at her, somewhat incredulous. “How did you guess?”

“I have it, too!” She pulled out her phone and opened the app. “I’m not very good at the missions, but-”

“Holy shit, you have eeeeeverything.”

Jessica sighed. “I bought all these characters and upgrade materials, but I still can’t do the maps.”

“Wait, you...” Gears began turning in his head. “So you can’t do the maps, and I can’t pull the units I want...Maybe we can help each other.”

“What do you mean?”

He began to lose a measure of his composure. “It’s the perfect trade! See, you get both of our accounts all the good stuff, and then I teach you how to run all the missions and solve the ones you can’t or don’t have the time for! I get my waifus, you get your progression, everyone is happy!”

“That does sound nice.” She nodded. “Okay, I can do that.”

“Oh, Jess, you’re a lifesaver.” The Doctor wrapped her in a tight hug without really realizing what he was doing.

Unbeknownst to him, Jessica’s mind was working overtime for one reason and one reason only. ‘Maybe, if I do this for him, I can get him to notice me...’

A few months later, and the plan was going smoothly. Jessica was now the Doctor’s assistant, and most of the day was spent on Agents of Terra - pulls, strategy lessons, celebrating an incredible string of successes on the PvP ladder against less LMD-loaded players. By this point, it was clear to Jessica that he really wasn’t paying attention to her so much as the game, but it was nice to see him so happy, and she had all this money thanks to the fact she already had all the ammo she’d ever need, so...why not spend it on him? Even if he didn’t think of her as much more than this Agents partner, that meant she mattered to him in some way, and that was better than nothing.

At least, that’s how it seemed to her before the Day of Reckoning event. As far as gacha events go, this one was hell - farming for an exclusive drop with a set drop rate on some difficult-to-farm levels in order get certificates to roll for characters who were designed to make the event far more easy at the cost of a ludicrous amount of the exclusive drop...it was hell, so hellish in fact that one day, after calculating the odds, the Doctor set down his phone, rubbed his temple, and sighed heavily. “Jessica, I think they’ve finally defeated me.”

“Huh?” She looked over at him. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve asked you to spend so much money on this stupid game, but I...I don’t know if I can do it anymore. This event is just...evil.”

Jessica shook her head. “It’s alright, Doctor, we just have to push through-”

“No, we don’t, and we shouldn’t.” He slunk forward into his desk. “I’m...I’m so sorry, Jess.”

“Doctor, it’s...it’s okay.” She got up from her desk and hugged him from behind, her head settling on his shoulder.

She had seen him salty, furious, ecstatic, and dumbfounded, but never had she seen him remorseful. “No, you don’t understand...I know you don’t care about the game.”

“I care.” It didn’t come out terribly convincingly, admittedly. “I like playing with you.”

“I know you do, but it’s not about the game itself, like it’s been for me. This whole time, you’ve given so much of your time, your energy, and God know how much money, to sustain this stupid addiction of mine, and all...all because you wanted to spend time with me.”

Jessica wasn’t sure what to say to that. After all, it was entirely true…“If...if you aren’t going to play Agents anymore, does that mean I can’t be your assistant anymore?”

“Ungh!” He turned around suddenly as a sob escaped him, somehow managing not to smack their heads together as he returned her embrace tenfold. “The fact you even have to ask! What have I done?!”

“Doctor, p-please calm down...You’re scaring me...”

He took several deep, labored-sounding breaths. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just...Jessica, can you forgive me?”

“Forgive you for what, Doctor?” A few tears were making their way down her cheeks as well. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I have. I led you on this whole time, letting you think that I might someday make a move or-”

She gently pushed him away enough to look at him directly. “No, you haven’t. I realized what was going on after the first week, but...I didn’t care. I just wanted to spend time with you, whatever that looked like.”

“...I don’t deserve you,” he choked out, “but...but I want to.”

“You do?”

The Doctor’s head fell forward, onto her shoulder. “I realize what I’ve done, and I want to make up for it, but more than that...you’re awesome, and you deserve someone at least as good - as considerate, as hard-working, as kind, as resilient.”

“I’m not that special, Doctor.” Jessica squeezed him a little. “But it’s nice to hear you compliment me.”

“With God as my witness, Jess, someday, you’ll realize how amazing you are...I’m going to make sure of that.”

She sniffed, which had an element of a chuckle to it. “You mean it?”

“Starting today.” He pulled back and took her hands. “I don’t have much money, but you know as well as I do how much time I have. All of that? It’s yours. What do you want to do?”

“M-me? Um...Can we go shopping together?”

The Doctor nodded. “Sure, wherever you want to go.”

“Actually, I want to go where you want to go.” She smiled. “I- it might seem kind of silly, but I like buying things for you. You’re always so happy to receive gifts, it makes me feel...really appreciated.”

“Heh. Alright, how about this: we can go to the game shop and pick out some games to play together. Does that sound good?”

Jessica nodded. “It sounds wonderful, Doctor. Ooh, we should get some ice cream, too.”

“Honestly, that sounds fantastic right about now.” He sniffled. “Man alive, I haven’t cried that hard for as long as I can remember.” She let him go so he could put on his jacket, but once he had, he pulled her back into a hug. “You are the most wonderful person in the world.”

“Doctor...”

He smiled before kissing her cheek. “Alright, I’ll stop. Ready?”

“Um...” She looked him in the eye. “A-aim a little more to the left.”

“Oh? Like this?” Another kiss, this time on her lips.

When he pulled back this time, she drifted forward, following him. “Doctor?”

“Yes?” He smiled. “Did you change your mind?”

“Let’s wait on the shopping trip...I want to spoil you a different way~”

#arknights #jessica (arknights)#yeah not gonna lie anon #i don't think this is where you saw this going #so uh #if you want another #or just more jessica #lemme know #she deserves all the love #arknights fic

12 notes · View notes

fuwafuwamedb · 4 years

Text

Summoning An Ancient Jackass (Gilgamesh, Hakuno)

There was a lot of chanting.

Hakuno stared at the room, watching the man in the center of the circle chanting and shouting towards a large, very poor adaption of the great king of Uruk… or rather- what seemed to be a pop culture icon with a smolder on his face and a lion on his lap.

Truly?

They thought that was Gilgamesh?

She’d switched four departments before settling on this damn language and culture and that was what they were going to do with the kind of information that she delve up from the depths of Iraq? Why didn’t they just make Raikou a large chested “ara ara” kind of person? Why not just make Nero Claudius some ‘waifu’ material for horny young people to jack off to or imagine as a wife?

Heck, why not make change up some relationships? Who says Brynhild needed to have only a one night stand with a disguised Sigurd? Let’s have them fall in love and cancel out his wife. He doesn’t need the woman anyway?

I can’t even remember that woman’s name that he married, Hakuno thought bitterly.

Tomorrow would be a study day.

“COME GILGAMESH!” The man in the center of the circle chanted. “COME TO ME!”

She scoffed. “The man wouldn’t come to you even if you were naked and pumping your dick, dumbass.”

Oh.

The group paused from their work, glancing up to the alcove she was sitting in.

“YOU! HEATHEN!”

They sounded like the damn conferences, but she could hardly appreciate that. There were a handful rushing for the stairs. She could see them storming to get her, grabbing just as she finished gathering her sketchbook and preparing to head home.

“You’ve invaded the wrong church,” one of the men murmured.

“I am a tourist,” Hakuno tried.

The hooded men barely reacted, opting to haul her down to where their summoning circle was. The one in the center of the circle- their precious leader- was already pacing, cursing and spitting at those around. She didn’t need to see their bodies or their faces to sense the levels of tension in the room. Why they would be frustrated by their own games and play occults, she would never know.

“You. Girl.”

“I prefer my name,” she told him, earning a growl.

“We do not know your name, do we?”

This was true.

“What is wrong with my summoning?”

Finally, someone bothered to ask what was wrong. Rather than blindly going about their work and continuing to become more and more frustrated as they reached incorrect solutions and assumptions, someone had finally bothered to look at alternatives. Someone had finally decided to think that perhaps they were wrong.

She could work with that.

“First problem that you have is that your circle here is grossly incorrect on Sumerian,” she told him. “You tried to write this in modern letters too. And why is there German here?”

Was this the Thule Society?

“Second problem,” Hakuno pointed out, “Your circle takes after a great number of symbols that come from Christian and stereotypical occult symbology. You’re trying to summon someone from ancient Sumer with the entirely incorrect culture. This is like giving Eastern robes on an American as part of their culture.”

The hooded group murmured to one another, bringing forth scrub brushes and beginning to wipe up the circle quickly.

“You have a statue here that was clearly made by a horny teenager with a cat love,” Hakuno pointed out. “You’re doing this in a church, but considering the fact that you probably can get this place to yourself at night, we’ll leave that for now. Your chants are partially in German as well. What is it with you people and German? Not all cults have to use German, you know.”

“You try this out then,” the man growled, moving to grab something from the nearby altar and shove it into her hands.

She took one look and snorted.

“What is it now?”

“This is a fake tablet.”

“It is not. It is the tablet that Gilgamesh wrote, declaring a need for valuables to build a crown from for his friend, Enkidu.”

“Why would he use a younger version of Sumerian that isn’t developed until at least a century after his death?”

The man stared at her.

She could almost sense the dismay.

“…Create your circle, since you are so smart,” he demanded.

Well, she could try.

It might be fun to mess around and attempt to summon a great king of heroes. Taking the blood colored marker from the men, she hummed for a moment.

The Sumerian flower would be a good symbol for the center of her summoning circle. She drew one quickly before humming again.

The next part of their circle had been writings. They’d been bad at writing and opted for German, which was no doubt one of the occultist’s primary language. For her circle, she would use the script of the great king’s talk with Humbaba. It was witty. It was a negotiation for gaining something that the king wanted. It also was just entertaining to write.

She swapped the offering of a mouse with an offering of an idiot.

Ah, this was actually becoming fun.

The inverted symbol of Ishtar was fun to draw in one of the flower petals. She drew a mapping of ancient Euphrates and Tigris in another petal. A lion head in another. A great bird in another.

Anzu birds were part of the Sumerian myths around the king’s time. His father had gotten speed from them in exchange for his actions.

“Alright.” Hakuno handed the marker back. “This should do.”

The hooded leader looked at her handiwork and shook their head. “…This looks like an indie band’s album cover.”

“Thanks, your opinion has reminded me that I have better things to do.”

Ah, but her witt shoved her right back into the center of the circle, the group barring her from leaving. Their chanting began again, leaving her to groan at their insistence to try to do this summoning.

A light came from beneath her feet, making her mind draw short.

Was this?

The chanting grew louder around her. Sparks began to fly, expanding as Hakuno laughed. She could feel her hand burning a bit, her eyes going to the leader only to hear him shouting over the others.

“You must say it too, woman.”

This was interesting.

She didn’t even worry about the how of it all. They’d humored her. She could humor them in turn. It beat arguing over the phone with Rin or Shinji. She listened to their small chant a moment before she began to chant.

The chant was said once before everything went black.

“…Well… That was anti-climactic.”

A laugh came from behind her.

Suddenly, the world was back in rights, the hooded ones passed out around her as someone stood behind her person. She could feel their breath on the back of her neck. She could almost sense them leaning in.

“What is this?”

Hakuno turned, noting the man looking at her drawn circle with interest. The armor on his person was out of sorts, showing Sumerian influence right down to the grand writing upon his pelvic plate declaring him a grand warrior.

She stared, rereading that for good measure.

Grand warrior…

Shouldn’t that be on a chest plate of his back?

Was this a reference to him being some kind of sexual deviant in bed? Was it intentional or was it a last minute piece? Was-

“Woman.”

The man snapped his fingers, making her glance up at him.

“Who are you?”

“You’re neither cute nor amusing, master… if you are even worthy of such a title, mongrel.”

She really wasn’t trying to be cute now. The annoyance and the bitter humor at finding these occultists trying to pass off inaccurate nonsense about myths as accurate had been grating at her nerves a bit. And then this guy…

Her eyes shifted to the statue nearby.

“…Are you a patron for this church?”

It would explain why he had a statue here.

“I am Gilgamesh, King of Uruk, the conqueror of Humbaba and-”

“Gilgamesh was a co-conqueror, not a conqueror alone,” Hakuno pointed out. “He had his friend at his side and went there originally with a moment of faltering in the Cedar Forest. If it wasn’t for his friend, he wouldn’t have bothered and he’d have returned home, without discovering the reality of mortality.”

The man stared at her.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“…You are not.” He didn’t sound pleased about that.

“He was a great king.”

The man nodded.

“And he’s very dead, so please. Who are you?”

“I am Gilgamesh.”

“A Gilgamesh? Did your parents wish to name you something unusual?” She’d heard of some oddball parents out there in the world. Sometimes parents wanted to feel like they had a unique and unheard of name for their child.

“My mother is Ninsun. My father is Lugalbanda.”

“If you are Gilgamesh, then tell me this: how was sex with Ishtar?”

His expression was priceless. The brows furrowed almost to limits they dared not go. His eyes, already so serious, narrowed, glaring at her with an unerring focus. His lips thinned.

“Well?”

“I have no need to sully my person with someone so useless. The woman is the splinter in the hand of a farmer. She’s a cut upon the heart of-“

“Tell me something only the real Gilgamesh could say.”

The man glared at her a moment longer before beginning what had to be the most profound and detailed rant in Sumerian that she’d ever heard. Minutes passed, filled with the sounds of his shouting. Perfect pronunciation, without a second of hesitation or search for words; he was truly a speaker of Sumerian.

Hell, that was even archaic insults!

“Come with me.”

Hakuno grabbed his hand immediately, hauling him towards the exit.

“The grail, woman.”

“I have some cups at home,” Hakuno promised. “I brewed some ancient Sumerian beer recently too. I’ll pour you a glass when we get to my house. I have questions for you.”

And demands, but he could hear her demands for answers about his Epic later.

He could explain why he looked very different from his real statues then too.

#drabble #drabbles

31 notes · View notes

purrfectstrangers · 3 years

Text

One of these days you'll have to make a proper account, Gamzanon~ Or just eat mine~ ♡

Running commentary will be in brackets~

Favorite Preds Per Caste ~ Lowbloods

Consider this my Valentines Day special. Alternia is filled with predators of all shapes and sizes. Today we'll be listing all of them. All preds from all castes listed from most favorite to least.

With special exception to Wanshi, Tirona, Karako, the Soleil Twins, and Amisia. Most people on this list will be aged up, but these characters are literally toddlers. No amount of aging up will make including them not feel creepy. Keep kids out of vore. [Damn right. I knew you were a decent sort]

And, finally, this will be divided into three parts. Lowbloods, Midbloods, and Highbloods. Here's part one.

With that out of the way, let's get on with the show~

Red Bloods

Karkat Vantas [♡♡♡♡]

Starting out strong with everyone's favorite cantankerous carnivore.

He's easily a top ten pred. His layered personality means you can make him into whatever kind of pred you want him to be. He can smugly trash talk a pleading prey like no other or fret over over a willing meal just as well as any jade blood. He's often underestimated by his friends, which makes him ideal for snacking on smug Serkets or devouring delicious Daves. Plus, a God-Tier getting digested by a lowly mortal is A+ material and Karkat lends himself especially well to that. With an appetite to match his anger, Karkat gives a whole new definition to the term "hangry".

"I WASN'T KIDDING WHEN I SAID I WAS YOUR GOD."

[It helps of course that I find Karkat so fucking hot. Padding out his ass after weiggling enough yo make his cherry red bulge shoot hands free is perfect, especially if you work him into a tizzy with some teasing from inside~]

Kankri Vantas

Kankri's a particularly condescending carnivore and I think that works wonders.

His stuck up self righteous attitude makes him magnificent at smugly putting prey in their place and the fact that no one takes him seriously makes him ideal for taking down apex predators. You know damn well he's got a speech prepared about why you should be prey. Unlike Karkat, he isn't quite as versatile and his celibacy makes it hard to contrive alternative vore scenarios for him. That said, he's still a smug snake who'd be more than happy to swallow you whole and lecture you about his #predrights as you digest.

[Maybe the mun is just a slut, but being reduced to prey for Kankri and told I'm nothing but food, like a lower class built to digest for him is... so fucking good... #predrights]

The Signless

He who fights monsters risks becoming one himself. Nevermind what happens to he who eats them...

Yeah, poor Signless kinda finds himself falling in last here. Not his fault. The Voracious Vantases are stiff competition. Having said that, he works fantastically for one scenario in particular. Corruption. The image of this perfect paragon who only ate people as a last resort slowly decending into a sadistic predator who gleefully churns up the Condescension is just beautiful. You can do a lot with a corrupted Signless. He just can't quite match his counterparts in the realm of berating those in his belly. Still, this predatory preacher is more than happy to continue spreading his message. All trolls are equal... equally delicious~

Rust Bloods

Aradia Megido

Oh, hell yes. Whether it's the cold cruelty of Aradiabot or the playful predation of her God-Tier counterpart, Aradia is a goldmine for gluttonous scenarios.

Her adventurous attitude lends her well to any kind of vore you can think of and her powers give her all the time in the world to act out your fantasies. The worst I can say about her is that she's more teasing than she is sadistic, but that's hardly a problem given everything she can do to you. A gluttonous goddess with an adventurous appetite, Aradia will always gobble you up with a grin~

[Aradia strikes me as a well of alternative vore potential, especially with how kinky her ancestor is. With her eager attitude she could make you happy to vanish from under her~]

Xefros Tritoh

You know what I love? Shy, spineless preds embracing their predatory nature. And Xefros is perfect for that. He'd go from eating people to protect Joey to eating people because he was feeling peckish. It all culminates in him digesting Dammek while Joey rubs his gut. Looks like bad moirails make great meals. You want a good pred? X gon give it to ya.

[Preds with loyal gut rubbers are the best, especially if said gut rubber gets off on feeling prey get softer. Some Pale pailing while Xefros' gut is still squiming wouldn't go amiss]

Diemen Xicali [♡♡♡♡]

This pudgy little pred hits a lot of good notes for me. Awkward, polite, and utterly gluttonous all in one. I can easily see this boy stuffing his face with hotdogs while already having a squirming gut nearly twice his size. Underestimated preds are my jam and I guarantee no one would see it coming if this guy gobbled someone up. Not to mention, his hotdog motif lends itself well to vore. Food transformation and cock vore scenarios practically write themselves. Around him, everyone's just another oblong meat product.

[Real talk, I just love chubby guys~ He can turn me anyto anything after sliding his hotdog between my buns~]

Marsti Houtek

Another favorite of mine: indifferent preds. These preds couldn't care less about who you are. If they're hungry, that's it. You're gone. Quite a few heckling highbloods learned this about Marsti the hard way. I love the image of her casually going back to scrubbing the floor after eating someone, casually cleaning up whatever she belches out like it's another piece of garbage. Her tight suit would beautifully show off every little bulge as her meal struggles and squirms. It's only after she's done that she sits back to enjoy her meal. She likely became a more active predator thanks to the influence of a certain gluttonous goldblooded girlfriend. What can she say? She loves to break down trash.

Fozzer Velyes

Whether he's a carnivorous comrade or an imperial predator, this burgundy has quite the appetite. He's outside digging holes and sweating up a storm all night, he's going to be hungry pretty often. I like to imagine all the ghosts he doesn't believe in are the ghosts of his former prey, which honestly just adds insult to injury. They had to listen to his cheerfully jingoistic rants for hours as they digested only for him to not even acknowledge them after the fact. He's a deliciously sadistic pred without even trying to be. This ravenous rust has certainly seized the means of predation.

Damara Megido & The Handmaiden

I'm putting these two in the same spot because, well, they just don't do much for me. I don't find their design that attractive, the whole sadistic dom thing is done better by loads of other preds and the whole Japanese Waifu stick is frankly a bit oversaturated. They just don't appeal to me.

Bronze Blood

Tavros Nitram

Rare opinion but... Tavros is wholesale one if my favorite Homestuck Preds. He is the absolute king of getting corrupted into a domineering predator. After everything he's been through, he deserves to cut loose. Let him feast to his heart's content as his prey wallows in the humiliation of getting eaten by Tavros of all trolls. And don't even get me started on revenge vore. Anyone can become a great pred. That's something the Serkets learned the hard way~

[Apologetic preds are pretty great too, like "sorry but you were so good... guess I'm gonna keep you, sorry" while they churn and digest, having to think about being pudge on his ass forever~]

The Summoner

Oh, hell yes. This experienced pred is an outright cassanova. He's got enough skill to swallow up soldiers mid fight and enough charm to talk their comrades into joining them. Take Rufioh's chick magnet charm and temper it with some maturity and experience and you've got the Summoner. He's added dozens to his thighs already and he'd be happy to invite you to join them.

[Especially with how tall adult trolls get. Color me needy for some size difference, especially when I stand exactly bulge height. Worm it down my throat to work up an appetite~]

Chixie Roixmr

On the topic of revenge vore. Chixie is great for this, whether it be eating Zebruh or eating those highblood knock-offs who stole her set. If you're lucky, you might even see her on stage with a huge gut. Granted, those loud belches tend to interrupt her flow. On stage or off, The Mask gives a whole new meaning to the term "Eat the Rich".

Skylla Koriga

She's a dominant pred if there ever was one. You don't get thighs like that without a balanced diet and her scrappy older sister attitude lends her well to all sorts of voracious scenarios. You can easily picture her eating up willing prey or devouring thugs who think they can steal her lusus.

[That country girl aesthetic fits well with lewd gassy moments while the prey is gurgling insude her. She probably revels in it, and having her belch in my face would be such an instant game over for me...]

Rufioh Nitram

Rufioh can easily be talked into being a pred in bed. I mean, the guy has dated Damara and Horuss, he's used to weird kinks. Ask him to eat you and his response will be "Sure, doll." He'd quickly develop a fondness for predation, especially after a few partners "accidentally" pad out his thighs. With any luck, you'll be one of them~

Vikare Ratite

This guy would be positively giddy to have you gurgling in his gut. His perpetually optimistic attitude would have him gushing over you as gurgle in his guts, his rambling string of compliments only interrupted by an occasional crass belch. Only problem is prying him away from his flying fantasies. He's liable to have his head in the clouds more often then he has you in his guts.

Dammek

I mean... we know practically nothing about this guy. Everything we do know comes from second hand sources so.... yeah. At least the Ancestors have Mindfang's journal to go off of. Can't make any calls until we actually meet the man.

Gold Bloods

Folykl Darane [♡♡♡♡]

Predation isn't just a dietary choice for this one. Until she met Kuprum, she had to eat people to survive. She needs her energy and she's likely to taunt whatever poor shmuck she has to get it from. Kuprum would totally endorse Folykl's predatory habits and I can easily imagine him lowering a struggling prey into her jaws with telekinesis, mocking her victim all the while. Nothing personal. She needs her energy. But that doesn't mean she's going to be very nice about. Her casual cruelty lets her edge out some fairly stiff competition. Golds are easily my second favorite caste for preds overall. And this gremlin is the most gluttonous gold blood of them all.

[Real talk, Folykl can own me x///x A dirty, sweaty, crass girl who will insult me as likely as fuck me with that coiling, golden bulge? Hell maybe both at the same time if I'm especially lucky. Gassy from all that junk food, and lets you stew with it while she idly jacks off in the middle of the living room, blowing a load all over the floor... Then just laying back in her sweaty after glow.]

Zebede Tongva

In a caste filled with cynical assholes, Zebede stands out for his unwavering optimism. What makes him stand out as a pred is the side that affability hides. His pudge already gives him away as an experienced pred but that just makes him seem friendly. Of course, that same friendliness lets him lure prey back to his hive. Not to imply that it's an act, mind you. He's just as happy to meet you as he is to eat you. His enthusiasm is contagious even as he's happly melting you into padding and that's what sets him above so many other preds. He's a great friend to have, but be careful when he invites you over. You might just find out why he lives alone~

[*claps my hands in time* Chub-by boys are too good! I feel like he remembers every inch on his body as a troll, and still squishes them lovingly from time to time. He'll introduce you to every single one, mashing your face into his warm gut, his plump thighs, and his generous ass over the course of ages. He'd want to to stay forever, and after sweaty, heavy sex, getting ground into his mattress and learning to love his curves like he does, he adds you to them, to be with him forever~]

Azdaja Knelax

He's the self proclaimed prince of all predators and he does his best to live up to that. His pride makes him great for demeaning his prey and his sheer raw power means that there are few prey he can't handle. He's eaten plenty of prey over the course of his career. He claims he's eaten over 9000! Whether that's true or not... well, how about you stick around and find out. You can count his prey after you've joined them on his thighs.

The Psiioniic

How do you become the most powerful Psionic of all time? By eating lots and lots of prey. This carnivorous Captor was eager to eat any troll who got too close to the Signless and he was strong enough to keep anyone from really stopping him. He's one of the most powerful preds to ever walk on Alternia and he's got the thighs to prove it. His cynical Captor attitude makes him great. But the idea of him getting revenge on the Condescension and gobbling her up? That makes him gold.

Cirava Hermod

Lazily hedonistic and casually cruel, Hermod has all their bases covered. Whether they're churning up fans on stream or spitefully digesting smug highbloods, Cirava is all too happy to enjoy their position as a predator. If you're lucky, you might hear their prey screaming as they incorporate their gurgles and burps into their track. It results in some surprisingly good music and a lot of unsurprisingly good vore scenarios. You'd be hard pressed to not end up in this nonbinary's belly.

[They strike me as a loose lover. Let's get high and what happens happens! They'll take or give, and probably adore scents and tastes, in their hazy state, after a 69 session, or after returning your oral favors, the munchies kick in. With you digesting, they just don't get the struggling. "You loved my body right, I mean you even licked... there... You should totally be part of it lmao~"]

Sollux Captor

Casual preds are seriously underrated and this Captor is the king of that court. He's powerful enough to nonchalantly ragdoll you into his maw and he'd have no problem trash talking some digesting prey while playing video games. That's not even getting into his dual bulges. It's hard to compete with the image of him sucking two prey into his cocks at once. That's all just when he's being casual. He's an even better pred when he's feeling spiteful. There's a good reason he has the nickname Carnivorous Captor.

Kuprum Maxlol

This future battery is just as mean as his moirail, with a hunger that fits. A battery has to make sure it's fully charged after all and there's no better source of energy than people. The problem is that that's really all he brings to the table here. Sure, he's mean, but so are most over gluttonous goldbloods and he's just as likely to feed a prey to his moirail as he is too eat them himself. In which case, might as well go with the moirail, because she's one of the best preds out there. He's still powerful, mean, kinky little gremlin who makes for a great predator. He's just got too much competition in this caste. Still, all good battery's need recharging. You just might find yourself in this battery's belly.

[Like his friendsim entry, he works best with Folykl. Think hedonistic orgies with those two greasy trolls zapping anyone between them into an orgasmic haze. Spitroasting would be like acting as a copper wire from your prostate to your tongue, and after they bust their respective nuts, you're all salty and tenderized, blissed out from the electric rut they were in. A perfect snack~]

Mituna Captor

Oh, Mituna. Poor, poor Mituna. There's nothing really wrong with him as a pred. His attitude is great, the way he flip flops between nice and mean can lead to a lot of fun banter and situations, but he just doesn't have anything that makes him stand out. His best strength would be accidental vore, which can be really fun, but he doesn't have much else going for him. I was debating even putting him in this list, given his heady injury, but he has shown he's perfectly capable of saying no when something makes him uncomfortable. He's cognizant and capable of consent, but he's still not much to write home about. Every other goldblood has him beat out in terms of pred potential. Sorry Mituna. Maybe you'll find your sentient meals someday

#anonymous #ooc #// vore #//digestion #gamzanon #submission

3 notes · View notes

honhonluigi · 4 years

Note

can i ask why you hate hinami? no disrespect just curious

There’s a lot of reasons. Seriously, buckle down because I am about to give you a full essay. I’ve never gone in-depth about why I hate the ship before and I’m not pulling any stops with this one:

- First off: it’s just a bad ship. It’s terrible. They have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever and nothing that would ever make me want to ship them. Give me one good reason to ship Chiaki with Hajime. Why? It’s not cute. It’s not canon. It’s not interesting. The canon material does not give me a single reason to like them together. They never talk, they never spend time together, and their plots have nothing to do with each other. They aren’t important to each other. They have no character arcs together. They don’t even think about each other. They have virtually nothing that connects them. It feels like taking two random characters and just mashing them together because they look good. (Because that’s what the entire ship is!) I genuinely don’t understand what makes people see them as a couple. There’s no reason to connect them to each other in that way. I’m gonna repeat it because it’s so puzzling to me: they don’t talk to each other, spend time with each other, have plots or arcs involving each other, or think about each other.

- Aside from there being no grounds to ship it whatsoever, and no reason for me to even think about them as a couple, it’s also terrible in what little dynamic it does have. Hajime doesn’t like her. He doesn’t like talking to her and he doesn’t like spending time with her. If you read their dialogue in the game, it makes Hajime feel awful to be around her. He is sensitive to being seen as dull or boring by his classmates, and that’s how she constantly makes him feel. In conversations between the two of them in freetime events (the time when they are most supposed to be getting along), Hajime gets annoyed and offended and insecure because she falls asleep while he’s talking or talks right over him. He finds her talking about video games constantly, droning on without letting him speak, very boring and rude. You can tell he gets easily offended in his conversations with her. She makes him feel bad about himself whenever they talk. The dynamic doesn’t work. He doesn’t enjoy spending time with her. They don’t have a natural connection or ability to hang out like friends. Their conversations are stiff and one-sided, with Chiaki just blabbing at him the whole time. It feels very uncomfortable. He also thinks she’s a fucking weirdo for falling asleep at random and obsessing so much over video games, and not knowing what cows are, and eating glue.

- Also, it’s incredibly boring. It’s just another typical compulsory heterosexual trope, and compulsory fanservice ‘Protag x Waifu-Bait’ ship, and compulsory Fan fav x fan fav ship, and a compulsory hot guy x hot girl ship. As I said before, the dynamic sucks and there’s nothing connecting them. People just ship them because Chiaki is their favorite and they want her with the hot protag, or because they look good together. The idea that the Hot Guy has to get with Hot Girl who looks closest to his general style is...so lame. The ship is shallow and boring. There’s nothing to do with it. They don’t have any chemistry when they talk or hang out. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, using all of my imagination, what they would do if they hung out together or went on a date. I couldn’t tell you how they’d act together, or how they’d talk to each other. There is nothing there!! It’s just about looks and tropes. There’s nothing interesting or dynamic to their conversations. Their personalities don’t work together. Under the surface, it’s a stiff and boring ship. They don’t interact well. If you put them together, you’d have nothing to do. It would just be a perfect hetero ship in which they have nothing in common and can’t spend time together and aren’t friends, but they like each other for their looks. They would have no interesting conversations, no interesting events together, no personality clashes or meshes, and no way to develop each others’ characters. Being in that ship would change nothing about either of them. They would act the exact same out of a ship, and that’s when you know it’s bad. (The exact reason I don’t ship Junko x Izuru). I really couldn’t think of anything to do with this ship. It doesn’t alter or interestingly clash with the personalities of one or both participants. If you put them together, they’d act exactly the same as they do apart, like I said. The ship just feels like two people existing in parallel and never connecting together. There’s nothing about their personalities or the way they interact that is interesting or fun. It’s just A Straight Girl and A Straight Guy. I can’t explain it perfectly, but it’s just so boring. There’s nothing to connect them and they have nothing to do together. It’s just A Typical Perfect Straight Ship. There would be no issues, no problems to overcome, no fun or exciting moments...It’s just A Typical Relationship. Cardboard cutout. There’s nothing special about it compared to every other Typical Straight Relationship in the world.

(Disclaimer here: I don’t hate it just because it’s hetero. I ship a lot of het ships. This one is just the exact embodiment of a bad hetero romance: they have no connection but get together because uhhhh they’re straight and it’s a Guy and a Girl!)

- If it were canon, as people claim, then it’s very badly written. First of all, I’m going to tackle the game canon, then the anime, because those might as well not even be from the same franchise. In the games before, every other couple was written very well. We see them talking, see them think about each other, see cutscenes with them, see them hang out and spend time together, and have lots of build-up to the relationship. Ex: Hina x Sakura, Kyoko x Makoto, Kaede x Shuichi, Mondo x Kiyotaka, Tenko x Himiko, Kiibo x Miu, and even Maki x Kaito. (I have a lot of problems with the writing of that one, but we’ll skip that). If Chiaki x Hajime was meant to happen in the game, then it would have to be the oddest and most badly written couple ever done by Team Danganronpa. They never talk. They never spend time together. They never think about each other. They get no cutscenes until the very end, and no buildup. They don’t even act like friends. Hajime didn’t care about her at all until the last trial. So if Chiaki x Hajime was meant to be canon, it was botched. It’s horrible writing that he suddenly turns around and ends up in love with her at the very end, after not giving a single shit about her or sparing a thought for her the entire game. That’s just....incredibly stupid. Hajime doesn’t like her in-game. It would be so forced. Writing that horrible would honestly ruin the game for me.

Now for the anime canon. I know in the anime that Hajime x Chiaki is meant to be canon. I won’t deny that. It’s still terribly written. Chiaki is a Mary Sue and waifu-bait, and the only reason she exists in the anime is for fanservice. Because she is a ‘gamer girl’ and the fans liked her. That is the only reason she gets with Hajime. The fans liked her and wanted to see her be The Most Important Person to all the most important characters in the series. I hate fanservice in general. It’s a shitty way to write. Write the story you intended, not what people want to see. Otherwise your writing will be confusing and all over the place, molded by a thousand different opinions. Anyway, in the anime, it’s still incredibly forced and it actually goes against canon. Chiaki was not a real student. She was an AI created by Alter Ego. She says so herself and admits that if she is erased from the Neo World Program, then she will never have existed. Meaning there was never any Chiaki Nanami. Alter Ego confirms this fact. So she shouldn’t even be a student at Hope’s Peak in the first place. There is also no possible way Hajime would’ve met Chiaki in Hope’s Peak. We know from game canon that the Reserve Course students and Ultimates never intermixed, and the only reason Sato and Mahiru do is because of past ties. It’s dumb and forced that Chiaki should magically run into Hajime, and that she would be the only one to magically cross those boundaries and be the only one to truly accept him as he is. That is...disgusting. We know for a fact she wouldn’t be the only one to do that because of the game canon, in which none of Hajime’s friends hate him for being Reserve Course. The anime just wanted Chiaki to be Super Special and Important when she didn’t earn it. Also, we have memories of Hajime’s in-game from the middle of his time at Hope’s Peak, saying that he was miserable because he had no friends. No friends. None at all. He wouldn’t be friends with Chiaki. That’s just the biggest dumb plot-convenience ever to force her to seem like a good special person when she’s not. She was not the ‘only one to accept him’, she was the only one the writers would force in there. Also, Hajime was not friends with Chiaki in the game, so it doesn’t make sense that she would become his best friend immediately in Hope’s Peak, and then fall in love with her instantly. This love story also happens way too fast. And lastly, Izuru crying over her is the biggest fuck-you to writing I’ve ever seen. Izuru Kamukura does not cry over anything. He has no emotions. He would not start bawling over some bitch he just met, and he would not keep her hairclip. If you argue that it’s Hajime crying through Izuru, then guess what? Hajime never cried in-game either, even for Chiaki. And that’s bullshit anyway because if Hajime can control Izuru enough to cry for this Mary Sue, then he could control him enough to stop him from committing genocide. Nah, it was just because the fanservice demanded Izuru also be in love with her even though they never spoke once in-game, or even saw each other. Izuru never knew she existed. The writing in the anime-- all of it, not just Chiaki x Hajime-- was so horrible that it almost made me give up Danganronpa entirely, but that’s another essay. And I have a degree in creative writing, so I have some authority on the subject. That’s also why bad writing bothers me so much.

- It’s not canon. It’s very obviously not canon. I genuinely do not understand for a second how people played the game and got the idea that Chiaki x Hajime was a ship at all, let alone the canon ship. I think the whole blind insistence on them being canon comes from the anime alone. The game is more canon than the anime. First of all, no ships in Danganronpa are canon. There are some that are heavily implied, but none ever get confirmed, and each are given an excuse to explain it another way. That’s because of the Free Time Event mechanic. You can choose to ship the main character with whoever you want by completing Free Time Events. In order to not get in the way of that, no ships are confirmed. Ex: Miu and Kiibo have a sex scene, but it can be explained as “Miu was just doing routine maintenance”. Mondo and Kiyotaka fuck in the sauna, but it can be explained as “They were having a competition.” Tenko obviously likes Himiko, but she denies once that she’s actually into girls. It can all be explained away so that the player can choose who they want to ship with. So, even if Chiaki x Hajime was implied or supposed to be there, it still wouldn’t ever be canon. No DR ships are canon.

But it’s obviously not fucking canon. They never talk. They never spend time together. They never think about each other. Their plots don’t intersect. They don’t even act like friends. Here’s the thing: there is a formula for DR ships with the protagonist. They spend time together outside of trials and investigations, they talk often, they think about each other often, they have people joke about them getting together, and they have cutscenes together. Usually suggestive ones. That formula holds up for the obvious implied-canons of Makoto x Sayaka, Makoto x Kyoko, and Kaede x Shuichi. Nothing even close to that happens with Chiaki and Hajime. They never talk. They talk in trials and investigations, which 1) you are forced to talk to every character and 2) is only to showcase how Chiaki is obviously the traitor by knowing everything. Outside of that, they never speak out of their own choice. Hajime never seeks her out to talk to, to confide in, to ask advice, or to hang out with. He does this with lots of other characters so it’s not just that ‘he doesn’t do that kind of thing’. And the same goes for Chiaki. They don’t choose to talk to each other. All other implied-canon ships seek each other out and speak often throughout the game, outside of trials. (Free Time Events are Players’ Choice and do not count). They never have any cutscenes together until the very end, after Chiaki is already dead so...can’t count as them ‘falling in love’. I’ll get back to that in a second. None of the cutscenes are suggestive. No one jokes about them liking each other. They never even think about each other. We never see Hajime think ‘I wonder how Chiaki is doing’ the way Makoto thinks about Sayaka and Kyoko, and the way Kaede thinks about Shuichi. Their plots do not involve each other. Makoto was a factor in Sayaka planning a murder; Kyoko helps Makoto unravel the killing game; Shuichi is Kaede’s assistant and helps her set up her murder unknowingly. All of them have intricate plots that are woven together right up until the moment one of them dies. Not the case for Chiaki and Hajime. They have nothing to do with each other at all, let alone plot-wise, until the very last trial. Again, I’ll get back to that. That’s a reason why those characters spend time together and again, Chiaki and Hajime do not ever spend time together. They have a grand total of one serious conversation. One. After Chiaki has already died. Aside from that, they have one other actual conversation where Chiaki tells him not to go into the Final Dead Room and it ends after like 3 lines. That one is only for the purpose of finding out Chiaki is the traitor, because she wrote about it in her diary. Also, that conversation is not meaningful or connecting. Let this sink in: outside of trials and investigations, Hajime spends more time with Nekomaru than he does with Chiaki. Where is the staunch, stubborn ‘Nekomaru x Hajime is canon!!!’ crowd? And if you’re going to argue ‘but their whole relationship is built through the trials’ then you’re wrong. Kyoko and Makoto, Makoto and Sayaka, and Kaede and Shuichi spent tons of time together, and most of the time we see them interact is outside of trials and investigations. Because they are actually friends and their plots involve each other. Here’s another fun story: when I started playing DR, I looked at the characters’ sprites before I played the games. I saw Chiaki before I met her. People compared her to Kaede. I thought she looked like a love interest. So, I thought she was Hajime’s love interest. I went into the game convinced they were going to fall in love. I waited for it the whole time. And they were so very painfully obviously not in love, or friends even, that I actually changed my mind. They were so obviously not-in-love that I changed my mind. I went in the game looking for evidence that Chiaki x Hajime was canon, and I found nothing but the evidence for the exact opposite. Hajime and Chiaki are not lovers. They never once even acted like friends. (Again, I am a writer, so I have some authority on what a couple looks like in writing and on picking up how DR writers their couples.)

And as for the last scene with Chiaki-- the one cutscene her and Hajime have together-- it’s not proving that they’re canon. It’s not to make them fall in love. Chiaki is already dead. That whole scene exists to explain that Chiaki was an AI and wrap up her story, because we’re not supposed to know that before then. (I had guessed it in chapter 1). It’s supposed to be the tragic explanation and end to the Mary Sue arc. That’s it. There’s nothing about that scene that says Hajime and Chiaki are in love. He feels sorry that she’ll disappear forever and she says she doesn’t mind. She says as long as they all remember her, and move toward the future they all created (not just her and Hajime), then she’ll be fine. And she says that because that was her programmed function from the start: their rehabilitation, not because she has some special connection to him or any of them. If you say that her appearing to Hajime was evidence of their canon, then take this: Chiaki also appeared to Sonia. She says so. Are they canon too? And I see the line ‘the girl you love and the boy you hate are outside wasting away’ mistaken for confirmation. Reminder: Chiaki is an AI. She will never leave the Neo World Program. She has no body. She can’t possibly be the one the line is referring to. Junko had just been goading Fuyuhiko on about losing Peko, and that’s who she was referring to.

Also, don’t even bring up Free Time Events as evidence. FTEs are the player’s choice. Hajime has no control over that. If you pick to spend every Free Time with Chiaki, that’s your choice, not his. And if that makes you think that they spend a lot of time together, then it’s still not valid evidence because it’s still not part of the plot and not Hajime’s free choice. The game did not think it was important enough to make them spend time together. I did two of Chiaki’s FTEs and then never talked to her again. Trust me. If you don’t do them, they spend no time together. Do not look at or bring up Free Time Events as if they matter. Furthermore, don’t act like Hajime and Chiaki falling in love by the end of their FTEs is evidence. All FTEs end with the character confessing their love to the protag in some fashion. Every single one. Kazuichi’s, Kokichi’s, Kyoko’s, Nagito’s, Toko’s...All of them. Because they are the mechanic through which the player gets to pick who to ship the protag with. That love story is entirely up to you, not Hajime or the game’s plot. All FTEs will end in the characters falling in love. That’s the point. That’s why you get their underwear. Him falling in love with Chiaki at the end of FTEs is not canon or evidence for canon. That is you picking one of 15 other characters to ship him with. FTEs have no bearing on the story and are completely controlled by the player alone. And they all end in romance, with every single character. It does not matter which one. That can prove any ship if you act like it’s evidence. That can make Hajime fall in love with Teruteru.

- I hate Chiaki. She’s nothing. She is a Mary Sue who solely exists for the purpose of being Waifu Bait and Fanservice. I mean...Hello? Gamer Girl Anime Chick? They knew what they were doing. ‘This...is an anime game....and it will be played by people...who like anime and games.’ That’s why she exists. That’s it. Her design and her sleepiness are trying way too hard to be cute, and her talent is trying way too hard to be relatable. It’s obnoxious and forced and crammed down your throat. She is so fucking boring. I dread every line that comes out of her mouth. She has no personality and there is nothing to her. She’s badly written and I despise bad writing. I despise Mary Sues. She’s a Mary Sue. She’s the most well-liked character, she’s super important, she’s the one untainted good person who’s not in Despair but working for the Future Foundation, she’s the smartest, she never does anything wrong, she can’t possibly be in the wrong about anything, she can’t make the wrong choice, she can’t get the wrong answer, she can’t say the wrong thing. Everyone loves her. She is the most important person to everyone in the anime and the plot revolves around her being Important and Special and Perfect. She is always perfect and has no flaws and can never be faulted. That’s obnoxious, badly written, and incredibly boring. She’s the worst character in the Danganronpa franchise and I’ve never hated another character’s guts this much. (Except Chisa). Also, despite her being portrayed as some kind of perfect Waifu Goddess and everyone believing that, she’s a shitty person. She has no emotions. Ever. About anything. She’s never upset, happy, surprised, or confused: just some kind of fake version of all of those things. She talks in a monotone and never changes facial expression and honestly it’s fucking creepy. When I went through the game, I thought she would turn out to be the mastermind and a raging psychopath because she never showed any emotion at all. No remorse. No regret. She’s never upset when anyone dies or when anything bad happens. She calls Nekomaru ‘Mechamaru’ after he dies which is fucking disrespectful, not cute. Also, she knows everything that’s going to happen because of Monomi’s security cameras. We know she does. The cameras are in the same place as Chiaki’s diary so we know for a fact that she has access to those. And in trials, that’s why she knows everything. She’s not smart; she just already knows everything that’s going on because she watched it. So, she watched Nagito plan his murders, and watch Teruteru plan his, and did fucking nothing to help. She never tried to help. And she watched Nagito plant his bomb but didn’t warn anyone, even though she disappeared when he set it off as if she knew it was there. She was supposed to be at the hotel with them. And she didn’t warn them that there were no bombs on the island even though she knew that!! Also, she agrees to distract Nagito for them all and then...doesn’t do it. Doesn’t even say she’s not doing it. Nagito just shows up in Hajime’s room while she’s supposed to be distracting him. Then she skips out right when the bomb goes off. So. She’s a horrible character, she’s a bad person, she’s terribly written, and she’s painfully boring. She’s the shittiest shitpile of a character I have ever had the misfortune to encounter. Nothing comes close to being as bad as her. And Hajime is one of my favorite characters. Of course I don’t want to see him with someone I hate, or someone so boring.

- The insistence that Chiaki x Hajime must be canon is obnoxious. It makes me hate the ship that much more. This is the ship I hate most out of any other ship, and yet people are running around insisting that I have to accept it and that it’s more canon than anything else has ever been. And I must like it because it’s “so perfect”. If you deny Chiaki x Hajime is canon, or dare to say that something else might be canon, then you’re just in denial. You’re just dumb. You just have “shipping bias” and you played the game wrong. There’s no validity to your arguments or opinions. There’s no fucking possibility that Chiaki x Hajime could be not canon for even a second. And that makes me furious. I’m not allowed to dissent from this ship. I’m not allowed to have my own opinions. And the fact that this ship is so obviously not canon just makes it so much worse. Just because I wasn’t a dumb idiot who got duped into believing it because Fanservice Tiddies, I’m wrong and stupid and biased. I hate that you cannot possibly think another ship might be canon without it being “shipping bias” because obviously Hajime and Chiaki are ‘sooo in love’. By the way, this doesn’t happen with other implied canon ships. People will bend over backwards saying that Kyoko and Makoto see other as siblings, or that Kiyotaka and Mondo are just friends, or that Shuichi is completely gay and Kaede is completely a lesbian. Those implied-canon ships, that are way more canon than Chiaki x Hajime, are allowed to be disputed. Those are allowed to be disliked. You can deny those all you want, even if they were obviously intended to be true. Yet Chiaki x Hajime? The one with no supporting evidence? Nah, you have to believe it and accept it and like it. I hate that every piece of evidence I have against Chiaki x Hajime will only ever be discredited as “shipping bias” and I’ll never be listened to with any validity. No other ship is shoved down your throat that obnoxiously. None. You’re not allowed to have differing opinions about this one.

Also, people insist that you have to like it and you have to like Chiaki. You’re not allowed to hate her. To the fans, there is no possible reason why anyone would dislike Chiaki. Which is another way you can tell that she’s a horrible character. All characters should have a reasonable basis to be disliked. If you dislike Chiaki, people are shocked and offended and are like ‘why??? how could you hate her??’ No one ever thinks that anyone could possibly dislike her. She’s included in every meme, fanfiction, friendship, relationship, artwork, or text post in the DR fandom. You can’t enjoy ANY content without her in it. Because everyone assumes you just love her and think she’s the best. People assume you didn’t see through her bullshit right away, and they act like ‘oh no one could ever expect that she would be a culprit or the traitor’, even though I guessed in chapter 1. They do the same thing with the ship. They assume you love it, and want to see it, and would never find it obnoxious or get angry when you see it. There’s no valid reason to dislike Chiaki x Hajime, according to the fandom. And they stick her in everything, like Komahinanami which is also terrible, and just assume everyone will love it. That constant being forced to like her and the ship, and having it crammed down your throat all the time, and never being able to get away from it...It makes me physically sick sometimes. People just never even fucking consider that someone might not like it, because it’s just totally impossible to them. That’s obnoxious. It ruins the fandom experience for people who dislike her. You can’t get away from it.

-----So, that’s why I hate it. It is the worst ship in the universe, and Chiaki is the worst character in the universe. I have never hated anything in fictional media more than I hate Chiaki and Chiaki x Hajime as a ship. And no, before you argue, I don’t hate it because of Komahina. I ship Hajime with tons of people. Girls and guys. Sonia, Mikan, Ibuki, Kazuichi, Nagito, Impostor, Fuyuhiko, even Peko a bit. I ship Nagito with tons of people: Izuru, Makoto, Hajime, Mikan, Impostor, and Fuyuhiko. Komahina has nothing to do with this opinion. I even admit that Chiaki does have valid friendships and ships. It’s not as if I’m just saying this because I hate her and don’t want her to have any relationships. I ship her with some people: Sonia, Fuyuhiko, Chihiro, Hiyoko, Ibuki. She does have valid relationships and ships, and I can acknowledge those. It’s not me hating her so much that I’m blocking anything positive out. No. It’s that there is genuinely no reason for me to ship this, and no evidence that it’s canon. I even acknowledge the basis for Chiaki to be shipped with Nagito, as minuscule as it is. I can see how people would get that. I hate that ship, but I can see why people do it, and that’s why I hate it less than Chiaki x Hajime. I can’t see why people ship that, or where they got it from.

#don't argue with me about this #you will be insta-blocked #I'm usually open to discussion about these things #and open-minded #but as I mention in the rant #I've been argued with enough #and I'm so fucking sick of seeing people insist on this ship #and cram it down your throat #so I'm just not up for it #but you can ask more questions if you want

10 notes · View notes

enter-the-phantom · 4 years

Text

Enter’s Massive Online Garage Sale, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo (now with director commentary!)

Selling off a bunch of stuff. Collectibles, subscription-box exclusive HP merch, and just random stuff. Prices don’t include shipping, but I’ll do my best to keep shipping prices down. PM me for anything you’re interested in and don’t forget everything comes with free art!

Please reblog, I need this stuff gone and I need the money badly to help pay for my surgery bills, especially being out of work at the moment.

Everything will be washed/Lysol’ed very thoroughly before shipping!

Anything mentioned without photos, just ask me about them. Tumblr will only allow a certain amount of photos at a time so I’m saving those for the things that need photos.

1. Harry Potter coloured pencils: These are from a subscription box. With delightfully eye-rollingly color-themed puns such as “Greengotts” and “Plumbledore”, these will are great for colouring or just displaying so your guests can roll their eyes, too. Never opened. Set of 12. $5

2. Harry Potter Funko POP Pez dispenser: Ever wanted to eat the sweet nectar of mass produced confection out of the torn open throat of chibi Harry Potter? Now you can! The most hardcore candy dispenser around, if you choose to think hardcore! $5

3. Marauder’s Map Infinity Calendar: Subcription box exclusive. Fuel your existential crisis with the power of rotating wheels and nerdy papercraft! I wrote a little about this particular item on my collection blog. Check it out there for more info and then come back here and give me money so you too can experience the monotony and dread of watching your life pass by before your eyes. $5

4. Death Note L plushie: He’s been sitting in a box for two years, craving cake and companionship. Give him one of these things (not the cake, you’ll have to wash him and you’ll have wasted perfectly good cake trying to feed it to a plushie) today. $5

5. Angel Beats! Weiss Schwarz cards (set of 8): Does anyone actually play this game or do we just collect the weeaboo cards? This is one booster pack because I got my blood taken in middle school and it hurt so mom bought me these and then I never got more. But you don’t care about that, you care about the cute anime girls (and TK)! Also one of them is all shiny and shit. $5

6. Flying keys Hoo-rag: Subscription box exclusive. It’s an athletic bandana, which explains why I never opened it. The athletic part, not the bandana part, bandanas are badass. Bananas, which I keep accidentally typing, are also badass. Get that potassium, playboy! Also get yourself a flying key Hoo-rag, so you can keep the sweat, blood, and tears out of your eyes while you exercise! $10

7. Venom enamel pins (set of 3): Hot Topic sent me a double order on a Secret Santa gift and then wouldn’t do a return, so now I’m stuck with these pins of a character with whom the only experience I have is accidentally stumbling across vore on dA two years ago. Help me erase the mental scars of my past and get yourself some pins! $8

8. Body-Chan Deluxe (tan): Have you ever wanted an anatomical model for drawing that perfectly replicates the cutesy-ridiculous proportions of your favorite waifu? Sure you have. Even if you haven’t, you will when I tell you that she comes with lots of cool accessories, several different hands, and a stand! Yes, a stand! Bet your fancy digital model doesn’t have one of those! She’s been out of the box a few times but she’s got all her pieces and is in perfect condition. $25

9. Body-kun Deluxe (grey): What’s that? You don't want to give me money for Body-Chan because you don’t have a waifu? That’s okay, I’ve got a featureless husbando, too! This dude comes with a bunch of stuff, I’m not sure what all exactly because I’ve never used him, but judging from that fancy Ziploc bag, it’s a doozy! He was given to me by the fine folks at work and before that he belonged to a stranger, so the plastic parts of his packaging are gone but all his parts are there as far as I know. And here’s the kicker: I’m offering him as part of a $30 lot with these two little peeps! They’ve never been opened and I don’t read whatever language that is, so I’m not sure who made them, but they’ve got extra heads with additional hairstyles, and tennis shoes! Tennis shoes, folks! You can take anything from this photo for $15 or all three of them for $30. If you can do math, which I can’t, you’ll see that's a savings of...something! Like I said, I can’t do math.

10. Assorted enamel pins: Lunala, Kyogre, or some funky hands. I’d really love to trade these for Harry Potter enamel pins if anyone wants to make me some trade offers. Or you can just offer me $3 each and I’ll take it because I’m broke.

11. Harry Potter quote journal: Another subscription box exclusive. Because you don’t already have enough unused journals lying around. But this one is fanmade from recycled materials! I wrote about it here, read this and then come buy it! $8

12. Octavia Melody Funko Vinyl figure: We all had that one pony we collected everything of, then we ran out of room collecting other stuff and were like, “uh-oh”. Octavia is still in-box and sadly not does come with a cello or a loud dubstep roommate. $12

13. Octavia Melody plushie (medium): Again, that one pony. $5

14. DC Bombshells Batgirl Funko Rock Candy figure (HT exclusive sepia version): Still in-box because I bought her on clearance three years ago when I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Come give her a home with someone who cares! $12

I’ll add more as I find them! Again, please reblog, I’m poor and I’ve got cool stuff!

#for sale #please reblog #signal boost #harry potter #funko

10 notes · View notes

persephone-damnedqueen · 4 years

Text

Rankin’ the Waifus

I feel like when you’re drunk with friends, you either have the best ideas ever, or the worst ideas. Which is this? Well, at first, I thought this was a fantastic idea, given that @fukae-flwr challenged Drunk Me to do this, until she gave me the rules. . . The rules made it even harder for Drunk Me to do, leaving Sober Me to rise to the challenge, just to prove her wrong. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Persephone, you have too many Waifus, ranking them is like picking between them is impossible,” but I finally, after a lot of debate, reviewing, and “friendly” discussions, involving way to much cussing and slamming of hands with friends, I was finally able to settle on the list, so without further ado, here are the rules.

1) Only one character from the franchise.

2) They have to be Waifus, not favorite characters (this rule comes in to play a lot later on).

Let’s kick off this list now with the easiest thing, the honorable waifus.

Honorable Mentions:

Now, these are in no particular order, because even leaving them off the top 10 was hard enough.

Lucy Heartfillia: Fairy Tail

This one waifu per series is the only reason why Lucy had to be cut from the main list. Let’s clear something up here, Lucy is Top Tier Waifu, especially in a series with as many Waifus as there are. Lucy has everything, from a fantastic development, to a great personality, to a gorgeous character design, and she definitely deserves more praise in the series than she gets. Sadly, my waifu choice from this series, only barely beats Lucy, but not mentioning her would be a crime.

Rindo Kobayashi: Shokugeki no Souma

Rindo is the most obvious choice from this waifu heavy series. She’s spunky, entertaining, and a glutton to boot, but above all, she’s actually a terrifying opponent to go against, especially since she’s one of the best cooks in the series. I mean hell, she literally uses alligator in one battle simply because she just felt like it, and her being apart of Centrol and having access to as many resources as they do. From the moment she’s introduced, she stole every scene she was in, even if it was just for a panel or two, if that’s not a waifu, I don’t know what is.

Maika Sakuranomiya: Blend S

This is where that waifu rule plays in. Maika is my waifu of the series, not my favorite character; that title is held strong by Hidori, the trap idol who steals the series from the moment they are introduced in episode 8. Maika, and her non-intentional sadistic look, make her the best waifu choice. It’s endearing, and sweet to watch her try her hardest to not be sadistic, but fail making all of us fall in love with her more. Also, who doesn’t love a bit of sadism in their waifus?

C.C: Code Geass

Ah, the waifu who started this whole drunken debate. She’s the classic, Pizza Hut loving, immortal waifu, who is literally unforgetable. The latest addition of her to my massive figure collection only reminded me just how strong of a waifu choice she really is, despite being from one of the oldest series on this list.

Mayoi Hachikuji, Tsubasa Hanekawa, Hitagi Senjougahara: The Monogatari Franchise

Honestly, a solid argument could be made for any of these girls to be the second best waifu. You have Hanekawa, the lovely class president who only knows what she knows, Hitagi, the tsundere who has an unhealthy obsession with stationary, Mayoi, the dead snail ghost-turned-god girl who has literally the cutest bit with Araragi in the entire series, or even Karen and Tsukihi, the Fire Sisters of our main character. Every girl in this series is a valid choice; well all but Nadako. Fuck Nadako.

Now that those mentions are out of the way, let’s get to the truly hard part.

Top Ten Waifus:

10: Homura Akemi: Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Okay, she’s not really 10, but I’m still mad at her, and after a full hour of debate, I still couldn’t justify putting her above any of the 9 other waifus who I wasn’t eternally mad at, so that valid. Homura is such a bad ass, and honestly, one of the more deadlier choices of a waifu, adding on the massive magical girl obsession I have, I physically couldn’t leave her off the list.

9: Brandish μ: Fairy Tail

Ah, Brandish, the Nation Destroyer herself. She’s perfect, in every way, and I’ve loved her from the moment she was introduced in the final arc, and by far one of the standouts of Alvarez. She’s adorable with her unique design, a massive cat obsession, and a stupidly powerful magic. Also, she’s one of the few characters to actually get some development in the entire arc. Mashima didn’t do a lot of good things in that arc, but he did gift the world with Brandish, so I can’t be too upset.

8: Retsuko: Aggretsuko

One of the most relatable waifus anyone could ask for, but what more could I say that isn’t obvious? She’s a Sanrio Red Panda who works in an office, hates her boss, and sings Death Metal kareoke. I know she’s supposed to be an adorable mascot meant as a way to get us to spend money on her merchandise, but damnit Sanrio, did you have to make her this cute?! Ugh, just take all my money already.

7: Minako Aino (Sailor Venus): Sailor Moon

This is where the waifu of the series rule killed me. My favorite character is Hotaru (Saturn), but I wouldn’t consider her a waifu; she’s more of a badass senshi who can literally destroy an entire galaxy with one swoosh of her Silence Glaive. The only three I would consider waifu enough for this list are Seiya, Usagi, and Minako, but after breaking it down throughly with @fukae-flwr, we were finally able to come down to the decision that Seiya, while being fantastic in every way, is not a waifu, and Usagi, while being relatable as fuck and lovable to boot, is and can only be Seiya’s Waifu, leaving Minako, the winner of the debate, and for good reason too. She’s loveable, kind, caring, powerful and the leader of the inner senshi, and S Tier waifu material, so overall, I can’t be unhappy with the outcome of the debate.

6. Android 21: The Dragonball Franchise

Okay, this one was the hardest series for me to pick just one waifu from. With so many choices, from Bulma to Android 18 to even Launch, (remember her? no? It’s okay, even Toriyama doesn’t). I love all most of the Dragonball Waifus, so why did I ultimately settle for for the best Video Game Bae? Simple. She’s a badass who is hot as hell and literally eats people. . . .so a kink basically, but like, can you blame me?

5. Himako Toga: My Hero Academia

A knife wielding, psychopathic, serial killing yandere schoolgirl? There isn’t even a contest, Toga is best girl. Period. I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

4. Stocking Anarchy: Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt

Again, this is another obvious choice as far as waifus go. It was during yet another rewatch of this underrated show that I realized how much I genueinly love Stocking, and she’s clearly the better choice over Panty. Stocking is the sweets loving, emo fallen angel/demon who cusses like a sailor and is into bondage. Yes, I am aware, it’s another kink, but I don’t care, not even a little bit.

3: Shalltear Bloodfallen: Overlord

Yeah, I choose Shalltear over Albedo. Shalltear is best girl, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. I will admit though, that while Albedo is gorgeous and a great choice, Shalltear is a vampire with lesbian tendencies, and that instantly puts her above the virgin succubus. Thank you Lord Peroroncino.

2. Shiro: No Game No Life

When making this list, and talking out all of the waifu ranking, there were two that didn’t budge on the list at all, Shiro, and the number one choice. Shiro is perfect, and even in a series with freaking fox people and Jibril, and that says something.

1. Shinobu Oshino ( Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade): The Monogatari Franchise

Meet the Best Waifu in existence. Honestly, it doesn’t matter if she’s in her Shinobu form, or her fully powered vampire form. Shinobu/Kiss Shot is by far the best waifu anyone could have. She’s a freaking powerful vampire that’s gorgeous, and mysterious in her true form, and even in her weaker form still manages to be powerful, snarky, and adorable as hell. Also, her reaction to donuts will literally be the greatest thing in waifu history. Ugh, I love her.

And there you have it. 10 waifus ranked, and it only took three days, three people to rant to, and a shitton of headache pain killers later. @fukae-flwr told you I could do it. Next challenge. . . Husbandos. Oof.

So yeah. . . . Thoughts I guess?

1 note · View note

thepriceofcatgirls · 5 years

Photo

“Daddy, where are we going?”

We kept walking through the sterile white halls. The stark fluorescent lights burned down on top of us as we hurried through the halls. I didn’t answer.

“Daddy, why are we walking so fast?”

We past some of my colleagues who were leading a girl down the hall themselves. Each one of them had a certain personality bred into them over the course of generations. The one next to me was shy. All she would ever be is shy. She would grow up. She would be timid. Nothing could change that.

Likewise, the specimen – no that’s not right. The person who had been her mother – or at least as close as they could get to a mother. None of these girls were properly born. Each and everyone one was created in a test-tube from the DNA of another one to try and bring them closer to whatever ideal a certain client had for the perfect “waifu.”

“Daddy, why aren’t you talking to me?”

I couldn’t tell her. God, I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her that she was a freak. I couldn’t tell her that I made her so.

Then it happened. Then the one thing that I knew would happen happened.

I heard sniffling.

“Da-daddy?”, she began, “ar-are you mad at me?”

And then I did it – I did the one thing I knew I shouldn’t.

I looked at her.

In that moment, I was Orpheus, she Eurydice.

She was a small girl, no taller than an eight-year-old. The fact that that was the perfect form for someone’s “waifu” disgusted me. She should be someone’s daughter, not a toy.

Her eyes were big, unnaturally so. Not quite big enough to be disturbing, but enough that I couldn’t help but feel like I had entered some uncanny valley. But no, that wasn’t so bad. That was all normal or at least as normal as this all was.

No, what broke my heart were the little white bat wings that she had wrapped around herself in place of arms. She held herself trembling, tears forming in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry daddy. I-I don’t k-know why your ma-mad at me, b-but I know it’s my f-fault. Ar-are we going to the Happily Ever After? I-I understa-stand if we are.”

That’s what they called it? That’s what they called it?! Anger boiled inside me. I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream. I wanted to go to the fuckers who “taught” these precious girls and strangle them. They called putting them to sleep, euthanizing them, and then breaking down there corpses into their core elemental components a happily ever after?!

That was sick. That was disgusting. That was…

…

Inhuman.

I did none of that. No, I couldn’t do any of that. I had a duty. I had a purpose.

I knew I couldn’t save the rest of the girls. It broke my heart, but I knew it.

But, I could save one. God knew I could save one.

I could save her. L87J12H5. I called her Leji.

I shook my head.

“No Leji, we…”

What could I say next? We were escaping? ‘From what?’ she would ask. She didn’t know any better. She thought this was normal.

“We… I… I’m taking you…”

What to say… what to say…?

“Home.”

That was it. That had to be it. Home. Yes. I would take her home with me. I knew that it happened occasionally. A certain scientist would take a “mistake” home with them and use it for their own pleasure instead of sending it to the happily ever after. They paid a small fee for the material components and they were free to go.

“O-oh…” she responded, with a not so subtle tinge of disappointment in her voice.

I knew why. She was taught that the only girls that went home with scientists were the girls that no one would want. Girls that were better off going to the happily ever after so that a better girl could take their place.

Part of me assumed that she probably knew. She knew that she was one of the only girls with wings for arms, which for her had been a result of some budget shortcuts substituting bat ears for fennec fox ears, and she probably knew that her days were numbered anyways. But, she was taught that at least she could lead to something better.

Now I wondered what better things there were in the world?

Here I had a pure, innocent girl, born into a life she didn’t deserve. A pure, innocent soul. Did God want this to happen? Did God mean for this to happen? I-I had never been very religious. I thought ‘I am a scientist, a man of reason’, and I thought that I was above such petty superstitions. Honestly, I knew I still was, but I began to understand the point.

Where there was nothing but pure, unfeeling “science” and “reason”, it became easy to dismiss the God around us. But now I began to feel that the more we dismissed God, the more we dismissed our humanity.

We wanted progress. We wanted results. We wanted methods taught with our names. To become the greatest geneticists known to man. We were God. We created life from nothing.

And now I understood why God would leave us. Why any God would have to leave their creation. Why would they want to look at the perverted result of their failures?

God needed to stay in heaven for if not, then he would have to face what he created.

“It’s okay Leji,” I stated mindlessly. I knew the girl would be upset, but I also knew that what I was to do had to be done.

“We’ll be happy. We’ll be a nice little family, just the two… of… us…”

I trailed off.

Was that right?

Was it right to just save Leji and condemn the rest to suffer?

No.

I knew that.

Of course it wasn’t.

No one deserved to suffer.

So, why run off with just Leji? Would it be an act of contrition? To forsake all I had helped create and try to atone for the weight of my sins by saving only one life?

No.

That wouldn’t be right.

“Ac-actually, scratch that. We’ll be a big happy family. You, me, and then more girls. You… you’ll have sisters.”

That would be it wouldn’t it?

Take my salary, cut my passions, pay for the freedom of as many girls as I could, and help them live something like the lives they should have had.

That was penance. I didn’t deserve the pleasure brought by the money that I made on the suffering of these girls. What I could do to repay this blood money would be to give it back to them, to help them have lives outside this lab.

I looked down at Leji.

Her tears still clung to the sides of her eyes, but a smile began to form.

“Y-you mean it?”

I nodded solemnly, much to solemn for what it meant.

“Of course Leji. Of course.”

#catgirls #waifulabs #scifi #spykids2 #short story #science gone too far #things are not oki doki

1 note · View note

betaronpav3 · 6 years

Text

Meet the girls!~

Now that the rules are set, let's talk about the characters! Here are some descriptions but of course their personalities are a bit more...complex than that.

We first go with the girls~

(Note: I don't have colored references for the moment. I'll of course edit this post with their final refs every time I finish one.)

1- Kaede Akamatsu - Ultimate Jazz Musician

Kaede is the protagonist of this killing game. She is an optimistic and friendly girl (quite a social butterfly if you want my opinion). Really attentive and helpful, it seems she has a really good earing but tends to hide this quality, being afraid she could bore someone if she talks about this too often (same go with her music talents)...This bad habit of her make people thinks she is too modest. Even if she doesn't want to brag about her talent and music in general...she sometimes does some wordplay about music. Despite that, Kaede probably is the only character in the killing game who still stay strong and keep hoping during the whole story...bringing positive emotions to her friends, preventing them to fall into despair...

2- Miu Iruma - Ultimate Mechanics

Miu is some kind of comic relief in the whole killing game...and also a "moral support". Actually, Miu is really smart and full of knowledge... but she pretends to be dumb because of a bad story of her past (she's afraid that people would hate her if she's "superior"). She has exaggerated reactions to everything and is pretty loud during the whole story...except when she's with Kaede, the only person who knows the true her. She also most of the time has a lollipop or a chewing gum in her mouth. Miu is one of the three survivors of this killing game and become Kaede's "partner" because of her loyalty toward her.

3- Tsumugi Shirogane - Ultimate Mangaka

Tsumugi, like Kokichi, is quite shy. She isn't good with group conversations and seems to be afraid of crowds. It's difficult for her to talk without stuttering and hyperventilates when she is embarrassed. The only way to make her talk on and on is to ask questions about her talent or about mangas in general...but when she realizes she was talking to much she apologizes until no end and runs away. Tsumugi was supposed to be the mastermind but she got killed during the first chapter...leaving her place to someone else.

4- Himiko Yumeno - Ultimate Oneirologist

In this AU, Himiko studies dreams... that's quite ironic because she has sleep problems! Anyway... this time Himiko isn't a mage but a magical girl! She tends to proclaim she has powers which allow her to protect people from their nightmares and hidden traumas. The others consider her as the class mascot because of her "cute" behaviors and her bubbly personality...even if she has the bad habit to fall asleep anywhere because of her problems... She got killed during the second chapter.

5- Tenko Chabashira - Ultimate Shinobi

Tenko is a tomboy girl with a energetic personality. If you want some comparaison... I'll say she is somewhere between Ibuki and Akane? Tenko, in this AU, doesn't have any problems with boys and actually prefers their company. She seems to absolutely distrust women and doesn't like to be associate to them (that's why she's using "shinobi" instead of "kunoichi", the female word for "ninjas"). She tends to say "de gozaru" in the end of her sentences (a lot of ninjas characters use this so why not her? lol). She murdered (by accident) Himiko and got executed during the second chapter.

6- Kirumi Tojo - Ultimate Seamstress

Kirumi is a quiet woman with a relaxed nature. At first people thought she was mute but they heard her talking with Korekiyo... She's actually his personal maid (and probably his personal tailor too) and only talk to him...except if it's important (then she talks to the others)... It's not like she's shy no no... She actually has trust issues. She got killed during the third chapter.

7- Maki Harukawa - Ultimate Baker / Ultimate Weapon

Maki is a sweet, gentle and cute girl...well...a total waifu material in fact. She is the one who makes food for everyone everyday and does her best to help and motivate the whole group...Perfect isn't she? Well... Miu found her quite suspicious and...she was right about it. Maki is actually a bloodthirsty human weapon trained to kill everyone who is in her way. She likes to see dead bodies and seems to have a blood kink. She murdered Korekiyo and Kirumi during the third chapter and of course got executed for it.

8- Angie Yonaga - Ultimate Painter

Angie is a quite eccentric girl who seems disconnected to reality. Every time with her head in the clouds she is always searching for inspiration and sometimes does weird things to find it. Music is actually a good way for her to find inspiration because of her synesthesia...so you can see her chasing after Kaede for music. She always has a smile plated on her face...people sometimes wonder if she actually has emotions. She comes from a distant island so her Japanese isn't perfect. She murdered Gonta and got executed during the fourth chapter.

Bonus Character Number One - Kami Harukawa

In this AU, it's not Kaede who has a twin sister but Maki. Kami is somehow the opposite of her sister. She is a cold and violent woman who hides her gentle and soft personality. More informations will come later if you're interested.

Well I’m done with the girls~ I hope you like them! If you have any questions to them...or me...feel free to ask! (and sorry for my bad English again ;; )

Have a nice day! <3

#betaronpa v3 #au #ndrv3 #kaede akamatsu #miu iruma #angie yonaga #tenko chabashira #himiko yumano #kirumi tojo #maki harukawa #tsumugi shirogane #beta designs #kami harukawa

228 notes · View notes