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#pls take care of your fictional man
psalacanthea · 5 months
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pls don't remove astarion's shitty gremlintude when you adopt him for your interpretation that nasty little man needs it for enrichment
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sorrowsofsilence · 3 months
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Diagnosis
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Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader
Words: 4.1k
Warnings: Smut (18+, fingering, female!receiving), PnV pls wrap it b4 u tap it, male!recieving, choking, doctor x patient (uncomfy situation so pls don't read if the idea of a doctor being unethical isn't your vibe- it is also not my vibe but yk, Dr. Davis can do anything to me lol)
Prompt: You had no idea your past highschool school hook-up would be your substitute doctor during your annual check-up; but let's just say you were in desperate need of a physical.
Author note: LOL I AM GOING TO HELLLLL - but also I've seen so many Dr. Davis ideas I had to create one myself; so thank you to especially (@valiantroeagleangel) whose work inspired me. You are wonderful. And shout out to some sexy phrases by @loveisanimaginarydagger3000 - I’m weak
THIS IS A FANFIC USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT THIS PERSON WOULD DO THIS IRL OR ACT LIKE THIS! ITS FICTION!
Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d  @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch
(I wasn't sure who I should tag, and if you would like to be tagged in one-shots please let me know! If you’d like to me to remove you as well pls also let me know!! I just took some tags that I've had in past one-shots, and those I think would enjoy! <3)
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You picked at your fingernails nervously as you sat in the waiting room, your leg bouncing up and down rapidly.
Something about Doctors’ offices always made you nervous, especially when it involved a doctor that wasn’t your own. You were getting a routine check-up and your first pap smear, scheduled with your regular doctor, but she had a last-minute family emergency. This meant you were going to be inspected by someone else, and that thought made you slightly uneasy.
You played with the mask that covered your nose, pinching at the metal band that rested on the bridge before tugging at the string.
The old woman next to you watched your anxious wading with curious eyes, and you simply shifted in your seat, avoiding her gaze.
Your name was finally called and you followed the nurse, allowing her to check your height, and then leading you into a room located at the end of the hall.
She sat you down, your legs crunching beneath the paper as she placed the blood pressure bump along your arm, squeezing until it tightened and let go.
“Your blood pressure seems to be a little high?” She said, eyebrows furrowing.
You rubbed your hands nervously between your thighs, “I’m just a little anxious.”
Her eyes smiled, indicating a soft grin beneath the mask she wore, “You’ll be just fine. Dr. Davis is a fantastic doctor.”
His name rang off her tongue, piquing your interest. Davis. You knew someone with that last name in high school.
“You can take your mask off in here by the way. Just set it on the side.” She nodded before leaving and you sat there for a few more moments, nervously shifting in your seat.
After a few minutes, you heard a soft knock on the door and you sat up straight, anticipating the man who would be taking care of you today.
The door opened and a man with soft chestnut hair that fell slightly in front of his face walked in, thin-framed glasses sat promptly on top of his nose, covered by a black mask. He hadn’t looked up from the clipboard that was in his hands as he kicked the door closed with his foot gently, tattooed fingers holding up the top page as his eyes skimmed rapidly over the words.
“How’s it going? I’m Dr. Davis.” His voice fell from his lips in a firm but gentle tone and your eyes widened in surprise as you remembered the faint lisp at the end of his ‘s’, and the twang in his accent.
“Hi,” you whispered as you absorbed his image, eyes skimming over his white coat that draped down his long body. The light-blue button-up sat tightly against his neck. You swallowed gently at the ink that crawled just above the collar, sinched between a black tie traced with binary code as the pattern.
“Y/N Y/L/N?” He asked with a curious tone, gaze immediately leaving the page as his orbs met your own, and your heart raced as his ochre eyes bore into yours.
His professionalism dropped slightly as his eyes skimmed over your face in recognition, and your lips parted slightly. He stood still, frozen in remembrance before he coughed, setting the clipboard on the counter and taking a seat next to his computer.
Noah Sebastian Davis is your doctor.
He immediately avoided your gaze as your face began to warm, and you crossed your legs, feeling vulnerable under his authority as he sat there, distracting himself with his computer.
Your high school hookup is your doctor.
“Well,” He began typing, a soft waver barely evident in his voice, “It’s been a long time.”
“Thirteen years,” You licked your lips quickly, smiling shyly as you stared at your legs, glancing up every so often to steal a look at your doctor. You felt even more nervous than before as the man who sat in front of you eventually turned, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he watched you intensely.
“Look, let’s just keep this professional. If you’re more comfortable with someone else I can get another doctor in here.” He said monotonously, leaning over his lap as his elbows rested on his knees.
You mustered a small smile as your chest hammered, eyes grazing across the tattoos embedded into his fingers Memories of the way they used to dance along your skin left your stomach swirling.
“It’s alright, I don’t mind…” Your thoughts trailed off as you looked at the ground, “if you don’t mind?”
Dr. Davis maintained strict eye contact, his voice proper and fixed, “It’s my job to remain professional and competent. I strive for nothing but efficiency, and I’ll have you in and out Mrs. Y/L/N.”
“Miss,” You corrected quietly, picking at your nails again.
Something flashed across his eyes at the realization, and your ears flushed as you adjusted yourself on the examination table.
He turned on the chair again, fingers tapping on the keyboard.
“Let’s go through some medical history to clarify things under your files. It seems you usually have Dr. Thomas, am I correct?”
You hummed in confirmation, nodding along.
“Any health concerns to bring up in your visit today?”
You shook your head, “Just a routine check-up and a pap smear.”
Dr. Davis nodded along, shifting in his seat at the mention of a pap, his hand reaching to pull against his collar as if loosening the tension that was building within the room.
“Any issues regarding mental health?”
You shook your head.
“Eating and drinking well?”
You nodded.
“Any allergies?”
You shook your head.
“Sexually active?”
You noticed his voice hither slightly, as he glanced over at you briefly, before fixating his eyes on the computer again.
“Not like, regularly.”
He shifted in his seat, nodding.
“Multiple partners?”
“Uhm,” you began to stutter nervously at his questions, “A few. Not frequently changing.”
It was a routine check-up, you reminded yourself. Doctors asked these questions.
You shrugged, eyes skimming up towards him again as his eyes bore into you once again, your abdomen clenching as his gaze darkened.
“How many since me?”
You coughed, caught off guard as you stared at him in disbelief, “P-pardon?”
He didn’t repeat the question, but instead continued typing, clicking away at your file.
“Three,” You then said, watching him carefully and he hummed in response.
“Anything else you think I should know?” He asked, returning to his cool, professional composure.
You shook your head again, watching as his chest heaved slowly as he stood up. He grabbed the stethoscope that hung around his neck, and you watched as he placed the ends in his ears before standing in front of you, maintaining a distance.
“Let me check your lungs… can you take your jacket off?” He asked, watching you carefully as you peeled off the layer, placing it to the side.
Dr. Davis then sat next to you on the examination table and your heart began to pick up pace at the proximity of his body, his cologne melting into your senses.
His shoulder brushed against yours as he leaned behind you to place the end of the stethoscope on top of your back.
He asked you to take in a deep breath, and you inhaled swiftly, attempting to exhale in a slow, controlled pattern; but the breath that left your lungs was shaky and uneven.
“Sorry,” you whispered, and he ran the stethoscope across your back again, this time placing it underneath your shirt, the cold metal causing a shiver to run down your body.
“Three more,” He asked gently and you obliged, each breath faltering again as your heart raced.
There was no doubt he could hear the thump of your heart pick up as his warm fingers gently skimmed your skin as he controlled the stethoscope; knowing how nervous his proximity made you.
He pulled away, staring at your flushed face before leaning behind you to grab an ear otoscope.
“Just going to check your ears,” he said as his warm hands pulled along your ear, his warm breath creating goosebumps along the skin in your neck as the hairs stood up.
Your stomach butterflied as he then grabbed a wooden popsicle stick, standing in front of you now, placed between your legs.
“open,” he commanded and you obliged, sticking out your tongue and making an ‘ah’ sound.
Dr. Davis held underneath your chin to look up at him as he placed the wood on top of your tongue, pressing down slightly. Your abdomen clenched as a rush of emotions ran through your body, making eye contact with the tattooed doctor as he stared back, not even looking at the back of your throat as your mouth was agape, open widely for him.
You wanted nothing more than to reach up and pull against the fabric of his mask, greedily wanting to expose his lips to see the rest of his face and smile, to see how handsome he had gotten with age.
Your chest heaved as his fingers slid from underneath your chin, trailing down your throat with firm but gentle fingertips, the tension between you building as seconds passed by. He pulled back his hand, along with the popsicle stick, and your mouth closed slowly as he took a step back.
As he turned from you, the way he slid his hand into his pocket to readjust himself didn’t go unnoticed, before he faced you again, nodding curtly.
“I’ll let you get undressed from the waist down. You can place this blanket over yourself, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He averted his gaze as he opened the door, closing it gently behind him.
You let out a breath as your mind began to race. The way your mind kept tracing back to years of messing around with him in high school sent your stomach into a lustful spiral, the warmth of his inked fingers relighting years of memories he engraved into your skin.
Noah had given you years of orgasms, some of the best you ever had. None of your other lovers had compared to him, and your body knew this, sparking complete excitement at his presence once again.
You shifted on your feet embarrassed at this, peeling off your jeans as you folded them neatly on the chair. You slid off your black panties, placing them on top of your pants before lying down on the bed, the cool air causing you to shiver.
Or perhaps, it was the fact Noah was going to be extremely close to your intimate space after so many years of deprivation.
You two hooked up on and off for years during adolescence, never forming a relationship beyond that; even though you always wanted to.
You always had feelings for Noah, but you knew he wanted nothing more than to fuck you senselessly, and then part ways. No strings attached.
After high school graduation, you two parted, never speaking to each other again. You had always wondered what he had gone off and set to do, and being a doctor was honestly the last thing you’d think he’d do. Noah had always been extremely smart, but it still came as a complete shock when he was the one who walked through that wooden door just fifteen minutes prior.
You covered yourself with the thin blanket and a moment later Dr. Davis came through the door again, glancing at your exposed legs before turning to grab a pair of gloves from the counter.
You watched him intensely as he pulled the latex over his fingers, almost drooling at the thought of them running along your folds. You shook away the thought, knowing that you would be completely dripping by the time he would be sitting between your legs, examining you.
The last thing you wanted was for him to know the effect he still had on you, even after all these years.
He made eye contact with you again, tugging at the tie around his neck once again as he took the chair, rolling it to the edge of your feet. Before sitting he pulled out the stirrups.
“You can rest your heels on here,” He pointed to the plastic, and you noticed how his ears began to flush red, his chest rising and falling quickly as he glanced into your eyes once again.
When he looked away you glanced down at his black slacks, swallowing harshly at the bold outline of his erection that was extremely evident, through his tight pants.
You swallowed as you slowly lifted your legs, exposing yourself to the man who now sat at the end of the bed, the thin blanket sliding down your thighs gently, leaving your body on display for Dr. Davis.
“Fuck.”
The word was barely audible. He had whispered it so quietly through gritted teeth, but you still managed to hear the four-letter word, and it sent another rush of warm lust through your body.
“I-I’m just going to examine you before inserting the speculum.” Dr. Davis’ professional tone faltered briefly, and you wanted to look down at him so badly.
You knew that he was aroused, but you had no idea how badly Noah wanted to tear into your pussy right then and there.
For years Noah wondered what happened to you. After years of dedication to med school, he didn’t have much time to form relationships, and he usually had a quick fuck here and there to tie over his cravings. He reminisced frequently about how good you felt wrapped around his cock, all of his past flings never making him feel quite how you did.
This morning when he agreed to substitute at the clinic he had no idea what to expect. You were the last thing he thought would happen, and the second he read your name on that piece of paper as he entered your room he felt his mind begin to spiral.
How was he supposed to remain professional around you?
His biggest regret was never pursuing anything further with you years ago, worried that if feelings got involved he would lose the best thing he ever had. In turn, he fucked himself over in the end, because he had lost you either way; but now, you were right here in front of him, naked and on display.
The second he saw you sitting on the exam table he felt an immediate rush to his pants, his mind racing as he began to sweat, the room suddenly feeling stuffy and tight. He couldn’t help but watch your lips as they parted when you talked, memories of them wrapped around himself as your tongue slid up and down his length leaving him unable to concentrate as he attempted to read your file.
He watched as you shifted nervously in front of him when he checked your lungs, heart racing rapidly under his touch. He wanted to rip your thighs apart, slipping his fingers into you, wanting to leave you begging.
Noah wanted to pull his name from your lips; leaving you worshiping him, needing him.
He kept reminding himself that he was a professional now and that it was unacceptable to push the boundary of client-patient professionalism. There was a code of conduct and ethics he was required to follow; but he wanted to forget years of practice, just to get a taste of you.
You lay there, trying to keep your heavy breathing quiet; but you immediately gasped as one of his covered fingers spread you open, barely touching your skin, afraid to go further.
You closed your mouth tightly, biting the inside of your cheek as you scolded yourself.
Don’t fucking moan, don’t fucking moan. He barely touched you.
“I’m going to insert the speculum now,” He said quietly, and you heard him whisper another sentence to himself, “God, you don’t even need lube…”
You knew that he knew how turned on you were by just his presence alone, and you closed your eyes as Dr. Davis inserted the plastic into your body, the feeling of fullness causing you to chew on your bottom lip.
Dr. Davis clicked the hinges as the speculum opened you up, and you covered your mouth with your hand, something Noah had noticed.
“Are you in pain?” He asked gently, and you shook your head.
“N-no, I-I’m okay.”
He hummed again, and it was quiet for a moment.
There was a lack of movement for a second until you felt a gloved finger brush across your clit slowly, and you furrowed your brows in anticipation.
Fuck, that had to be an accident, right?
You tried to think rationally about the situation, but your thoughts trailed to dirty places, silently pleading that Dr. Davis would press against your intimacy again.
Noah had listened for your reaction as he sat before your legs that held you splayed open for him, his mind battling. He swallowed hungrily.
You felt his fingers brush against you again and your thighs jolted to his touch, before you felt the pad of his finger press firmly against you, tracing small circles as he tried drawing a moan from your lips.
Your mouth fell open in satisfaction as your body clenched, Dr. Davis’ fingers rubbing faster and faster.
You couldn’t help it as a gentle whimper crawled from your chest, and with furrowed brows, you bucked your hips into his touch; giving him the permission he desperately wanted.
You felt the speculum being removed, and seconds later a wet swipe trailed up along your folds.
“Oh my god,” You whispered and Dr. Davis hummed, his lips latching onto your sweet spot before two gloved fingers slid into you, curling upwards.
You began to moan again, pulling the blanket away to see the brunette devouring your body. He looked up at you with lustful eyes, his mask pulled underneath his chin.
You ogled upon seeing his entire face, brows furrowed with desire as he remained stone cold.
“If you moan loudly one more time I’ll stop.” He said as he began licking your body once again, eyes fixated on your own.
“Y-yes.”
“Yes, what?” He said, pulling his mouth away as he continued to pump his fingers in and out rapidly, taking his thin glasses off and placing them on the table.
“Yes sir.”
“Good girl,” he praised, burying himself between your legs again in famish, devouring you feverishly with complete craving.
Your legs began to shake from his praise and you covered your mouth with your hands as your hips pushed into Dr. Davis’ touch, completely engulfed with euphoria.
You didn’t know that he was palming himself through his slacks as he ate you out, desperate for friction, desperate for you to be the one touching him instead.
“Cum.” He demanded, and in a second his tongue swiped along your folds you felt the knot that he built release, elation washing through you as you choked back a desiring cry.
Your free hand gripped Dr. Davis’ hair as you pulled him closer, rubbing yourself along his face as he ate you until it became too much, pushing him away.
He stood up, mouth agape and wet from your release as you watched him with yearning, both your chests heaving.
He hastily began pulling off his white coat, throwing it to the floor as you watched him loosen his tie. Sitting up you beckoned him over and his fingers gripped your throat, pulling you towards him as his forehead rested against your own.
You looked into each other’s eyes as unspoken words danced between you, both of you needing each other but too afraid to speak.
He held you firmly for a moment before pulling your lips to his own, kissing you completely with need and hunger, forcing you to taste yourself
You groaned quietly into his lips as your tongues ran along each other, your fingers shaky as you began unbuttoning his blue dress shirt.
His fingers tightened around your neck as your hands trailed to the hem of his black pants, tugging at his waistband as you pulled apart his belt, sliding the zipper down slowly.
He moaned softly as your fingers slid along his abdomen, threatening to dip in to grab where he needed you.
“You’re in no position to tease princess, remember that,” He squeezed your neck again as he towered over you in authority, and you smiled.
“This is wrong.”
“So wrong.” He mumbled before kissing you in desperation again, your minds fogged with nothing but lust and arousal.
Dr. Davis’ hands pulled your shirt over your head as he pulled back, taking in the image of your exposed body, ready for him.
His covered fingers found their way to your core once again, slipping in and out as you pulled down his underwear, his body hard and ready to devour you.
You licked your fingers, smiling up at him as he watched with lustful eyes, before grabbing hold of his erection, pumping up and down as he thrust into your hand in eagerness. He pulled his fingers in and out of you quickly, your mouth falling open as you watched each other, pleasing one another.
“Spread your legs, baby,” Dr. Davis pleaded, and you opened your thighs farther.
“That’s it… Wider,” He whispered, before pulling his hands away from you, wrapping them around himself as he positioned his body to yours.
Dr. Davis didn’t hesitate any longer before he pushed into you, a loud whimper leaving you. His eyebrows furrowed angrily as his gloved hand covered your mouth, pushing you back into the wall.
“Be fucking quiet,” He said through gritted teeth, his chest heaving as he continued to thrust into you, filling your body, claiming you as his own.
He tore into your skin with his motions, the feeling of him pulling out before pushing back in deeply causing your legs to clench shut. He pushed them open with the hand that wasn’t covering your mouth.
“I said to spread them,” He scolded, fingers digging into your thigh before he slapped the top of your intimacy, earning a yelp from you as your body jolted from the contact.
He remained cold and composed, attempting to keep up his professional facade that was beginning to crumble before you. His eyes squeezed shut as he pushed your thighs back towards your chest, opening you as he fucked your body with possession.
You watched his head tilt back, exposing the tattoos on his neck as his lips fell open in complete satisfaction.
Your body felt perfectly wrapped around him, years of need ready to release into you.
Dr. Davis wanted to flip you over so you stood in front of him, one leg lifted onto the bed as he gripped your ass and pounded you; but he knew that right now, he needed to watch your face contort in pleasure for him, from him.
Your body clenched around him, “Dr. D-Davis,” You whimpered, still trying to remain quiet so as to not be heard by the rest of the clinic.
“Noah,” the brunette growled, bringing you into a kiss and you nodded, murmuring his name back to him against his lips in a plea.
He was close to his release, but he held back, waiting to pull another orgasm from you before he would bring you to your knees, ready to cum down your throat.
“You can do it, that’s a good girl.” He praised and you melted at his words, letting go as he thrust into you one more time, your body completely enveloping him as your mouth was covered by his hand once again to mask your screams. Your body shook through the orgasm Noah offered you.
He slid in and out slowly, before pulling away. His fingers were threaded through your hair as he guided you to the floor, placing you on your knees.
You took him into your mouth mercilessly, sucking and bobbing along his length before he gripped your face, pulling you closer.
You gagged along him, tears forming as a deep growl rumbled from his chest, signalling he was close.
Seconds later Noah’s release coated the back of your throat, and you swallowed his orgasm, looking up at him in commitment.
“You’ve always been mine to ruin,” He said, panting as he pulled you off of him, and you sat on the ground, smiling up at him.
The two of you got dressed in silence, the hormones lingering in the air as he pulled off the gloves, grabbing his prescription notepad and a pen.
“I wasn’t able to get a good enough sample to send off to the lab,” He said, scribbling away, “I’ll need you to meet me at my office this weekend.”
Dr. Davis handed you the note and you looked at the paper, staring at the phone number and address as he nodded toward you, opening the wooden door and leaving the office.
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hshshgsghshghsshgh ok i am a mess
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537 notes · View notes
wheeboo · 7 months
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psycho | wen junhui
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SYNOPSIS. in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind. PAIRING. wen junhui x psychologist!reader (ft. nurse!seokmin) GENRE. dark au, mystery, angst, a tiny tiny subtle pinch of fluff, my very first attempt at a psychological thriller :> WARNINGS. LOTS of descriptions and talks about fire, cursing, mentions of death, a mention of cigarettes, descriptions of scars + burns, descriptions of injuries from glass, mention of blood, reader has a small habit of scratching at their arms, jun makes a suggestive comment if you take it that way WORD COUNT. 12.8k
notes: this is for the caratsland event and probably the most complex plot i've tried to execute so far jsdlkfdfsdf. thank you to @slytherinshua for reading this over for me and being my lil confidence boost 💕 feedback would be much appreciated!! pls remember this is all fictional and not at all an accurate depiction of a psychiatric facility!!
another note: also this turned out to be rlly dialogue heavy and jun asks too many damn questions in this istg lmao
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PRESENT DAY: 2023
"Dr. L/N, you have a new patient assigned to you in room 610."
You don't glance up from your desk. Instead, you finish reviewing the case notes of your previous patient and nod in acknowledgment to the nurse standing in your doorway, a friendly young man named Lee Seokmin who was a recent hire, as you were told. As you hear the drop of a patient file in front of you, you lean back in your chair and finally get yourself to look up.
"Thank you, Seokmin," You tell him with a soft smile.
Seokmin grins, teeth all-flashy and cheerful. "You're welcome, doctor," before dismissing himself back out of your office.
You turn your attention to the patient file now resting on your desk. As you start to read through the notes, you see it only contains some basic information about the patient: name, age, and a brief overview of their medical and psychiatric history. It's a starting point, but you know that the real work begins when you meet the person behind the paperwork.
"Name, Moon Jun... male, age 27..." You quietly study the file to yourself. The file mentions a history of severe emotional trauma and burn scars due to a fire, which immediately catches your attention in more ways than one. It also mentions extensive facial scarring and a history of therapy that completely lacked significant progress. A part of it is a familiar story in your field𑁋it isn't uncommon for individuals to experience setbacks in their recovery.
But there's something about this patient's history that tugs oddly at your heartstrings.
As you rummage deeper into the file, you come across a brief note from a colleague who had previously assessed Moon Jun, mentioning he had been withdrawn and non-communicative during his stay, displaying anti-social behaviour, sometimes even having random bursts of aggression when approached. You take a mental note of all this in your head.
Closing the patient file, you rise from your chair and adjust the white coat draped around you, before leaving your office. You make your way through the sterile, fluorescent-lit hallways of the psychiatric facility. The environment here is all-too familiar to you; you've spent years navigating these halls. With every door you pass, there hides a different story; a different struggle; a different battle.
Upon finally reaching the room, you hesitate outside the door for a moment. The anticipation and curiosity surrounding you mixes with a touch of uncertainty, almost like fear, as they often do when meeting a new patient. You've been doing this for nearly ten years, and the feeling isn't new.
Then as you come back to your senses, you lift a hand, give a gentle knock to the door, before entering the room. It's dimly lit inside, the curtains ominously drawn on the windows to conceal the sunlight peeking through. A figure sits at the edge of the bed, back turned to you, and the hood of his hoodie pulled low over his head worn over his patient gown.
"Moon... Jun?" You call out softly, trying not to startle him.
He doesn't respond immediately, shoulders tensing at the sound of your voice. After a moment of silence, he slowly turns his head to acknowledge your presence. Half of his face is obscured by a mask, leaving only his dark eyes visible.
"Doctor," he replies gravelly.
His gaze lingers on you as you take a seat in a chair that sat against the wall next to the bed, keeping a respectful distance from him. You've encountered many patients who have initially shown distrust or apprehension, but there's an intensity in the way he looks at you that sends something chilling on the surface of your skin, especially when it's the only part of his face that you can see.
You try to break the ice with a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Moon. My name is Dr. Y/N, and I'll be conducting our therapy sessions during your stay here. Please, make yourself as comfortable as you can."
He slowly nods, but his eyes never leave yours. The mask covering his face makes it difficult to read his expressions.
"Before we begin," You continue, clearing your throat. "I want you to know that this is a safe and confidential space. Our conversations are private, and I'm here to help you in any way I can𑁋to help you heal. You can share as much or as little as you're comfortable with."
You see the way his gloved hands clench together in his lap.
"I can't be healed," he mutters quietly, voice trembling as you sense the hopelessness in his tone. You've heard this phrase many times before during your career.
"I understand that you may feel that way right now," You reply, as soothingly as possible. "but I believe that with time and the right support, healing is possible for anyone. It's a journey, and I'm here to walk it with you. It's a process, and you don't have to go through it alone."
His gaze remains fixed on you, and the unsettling tension in the room lingers, almost palpable that you feel like there's an imaginary barrier between you and him that was enough for you to see this small part of him, while he can see all of you.
"Would you like to tell me a little bit about yourself? How do you feel coming here today?" You ask, hoping to begin the process of establishing some sort of connection.
He uncomfortably shifts a bit on the bed.
"I never wanted to come here," he says flatly. "They say this is a place of healing, but I've seen enough doctors like you. They prod and poke, dig into your past, and in the end, nothing changes. They don't know what I've been through, what I've seen. The scars, everything, they don't heal."
The words that leave his mouth are bitter and sour, yet you could only get yourself to nod sympathetically.
"It's not uncommon for people to feel that way, especially if they haven't found the right support. I want you to know that my approach is different. I'm here to listen, not to prod or poke." You glance down at the file in your hand and flip it over so that you couldn't see any information about him. "You're in control of our sessions, Mr. Moon. We can go at whatever pace you'd like."
He finally seems intrigued by this, leaning in ever so slightly, eyes devoid of colour that seemed to bore straight into yours.
"Control?" he repeats, voice still carrying a hint of skepticism.
You nod once more. "Yes, control. You get to decide what you want to talk about, what you're comfortable sharing, and at what pace. If there are topics you'd like to avoid or take your time with, that's completely okay. We can work together to create a safe space for you."
He seems to be taking in your words. "And... what if I choose not to talk at all?"
You offer a reassuring smile. "Then that's the option we can settle with."
The minutes that tick by seem dreadingly slow, and there's a light that dances in his eyes from the singular light fixture hanging above that almost resembles that of a flame. It doesn't go away even if he blinks, and it draws you in. Just a tiny bit.
"However, is there anything specific you'd like to share with me today, Mr. Moon?" You ask, trying to keep the conversation flowing. "Any thoughts or concerns you'd like to discuss?"
For a moment, it seems like he's about to speak, but then he shakes his head ever so slightly, his hooded gaze still locked onto yours.
"Very well then." You let out a very subtle, shaky breath. It felt almost relieving. Silence it is.
That's what most of the session has come to𑁋sitting in this peculiar silence, feeling his eyes burn a hole right through you. It isn't until the end of the hour that he calls out toward you just as you were about to his exit his room, and you turn back to face him.
"Can you heal me, doctor?" he asks quietly, almost begging in a way. It's unnerving.
All you do is give him a faint smile.
"I'll try my best, Mr. Moon."
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FLASHBACK: 2013
"...All I could see were orange and red flames, and the smoke was hurting my eyes. I couldn't breathe𑁋just barely, but it hurt. It was painful. They were getting larger and larger and the screams louder and louder. Everything was gone."
"And what did you do while the fire kept growing?"
"I watched it all happen. I watched it all burn in front of me." The words had sent an eerie shiver up your spine, forcing the pen in your hands to stop mid-sentence. There was a singular pause that had come to follow, a harrowing silence that seemed to stretch into eternity, a subtle quiver in his voice that you barely caught. "There was nothing I could do."
You clicked your pen, its sound echoing in the tense silence. The room seemed to grow colder with each moment that passed.
"But it's all my fault, right?" he had asked, tone so innocent that it itches a part of your heart uncomfortably, but tugged in a way you felt determined to take root of the grief in his chest and rip it apart. And for a moment as you looked in his dark eyes, over his youthful features and guilt-ridden face, you felt that inkling feeling again. "I killed them. It's all my fault."
"None of this is your fault. Blaming yourself for something you couldn't control is a heavy burden to carry," You reassured him calmly, as gently as you could, knowing the power that your own words could cause for someone seemingly lost, troubled, and young. "You saved yourself. You're alive; you did what you could to survive, and you're here to heal. I'm here to help you heal, okay?"
Your reassurance was met with a fleeting smile, but it hadn't quite reach his eyes, yet his gaze peered directly into you as if searching for something in you𑁋you could only think it was hope. Hope that he wanted to heal just as much as you wanted to help him heal. It's your job. This was why you took this job in the first place.
You needed to save people, either from the demons in their minds or the traumas that haunted them. This boy had lost his entire family in a housefire, for God's sake. This was your duty.
"It's not my fault," he had said, and met your eyes, as if searching for approval. "It's not my fault."
"That's right, Hui." You offered him a faint, assuring smile. "It's not your fault."
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PRESENT DAY: 2023
"Excuse me, Dr. L/N? Is it okay if I sit here?"
You glance up to see Seokmin holding up a tray of lunch food, returning you from your zoning thoughts. You shoot him a kind smile and a nod, motioning to the empty space across from you for him to have a seat. Usually, you frequently have lunch alone in the comfort of your office where you can tend to yourself in solitude, but today, you might as well welcome the company.
Seokmin sets his tray down and takes a seat, and for some minutes, there's a comfortable silence as you both begin to eat. He seems to notice the tired lines to your face, but he doesn't press on about it.
"Have you been settling in well?" You ask him suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Huh, me? Oh." He's a bit taken aback, cheeks flushed, and you give a soft chuckle. "You could say that. I wanted to try something new after working bedside for the longest time. I didn't think that psych would be a field I was interested in𑁋look where I am now, though."
"That's the thing about this field." You let out a sigh, giving a knowing smile. "It has a way of drawing you in, even if you didn't plan on it."
"It was definitely an experience when I was in nursing school," Seokmin comments eagerly. You felt as if you were talking to a close friend rather than another colleague, and it feels rather refreshing. "and doing ICU was already draining of itself."
You take a sip of your drink, nodding your head. "I can only imagine. It can be quite rigorous."
Seokmin lets his gaze wander over you curiously. "How long have you worked here, doctor?"
"Please, you can just call me Y/N. Unless we're working."
Seokmin smiles. "How long have you worked here then, Y/N?"
You pause for a moment. Thinking about the amount of years you've worked in this field hasn't been a particular thought to come up𑁋time just seems to fly by when it's the only job you've been dedicated to for most of your life.
"Hm, ten years now? I believe this month will mark my ten years here."
Seokmin's eyes visibly widen in awe before responding, "Wow, that's... You must have really seen a lot of things. I really envy you, doctor."
Your smile fades just a bit; it's barely noticeable, though you still hope that Seokmin doesn't see it. You can feel that feeling gnaw at your skin again, something inexplicable, like a sense of foreboding that seemed to be creaking open a door you believed to have firmly shut for good.
But you choose to push it aside, just like you always do, dismissing it perfectly with a mutter of a thank you. It's ironic, considering this is what you do𑁋normally you would tell patients to confront their past and face their fears, but when it comes to your own, you tend to bury them.
There's an itch that crawls up your arms, and you knead at it through your sleeves with your fingers.
Maybe you can get used to this company, though.
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"Do you have any kids, doctor?"
The question comes after a click of your pen, and you glance up from the vitals sheet in your hand to see Moon Jun sitting criss-crossed on the bed, gloved hands sitting on his lap and pupils peering curiously over you.
"No, Mr. Moon," You reply, keeping your tone soft, somewhat nonchalant. "I don't have any children."
He tilts his head slightly, almost as if he's studying you like a specimen under a microscope. The mask on his face makes him appear even more enigmatic, his dark, even charming eyes the only feature you can discern.
"No family at all?" he asks. "No husband, wife, or children to go home to?"
"I live alone. My work keeps me quite occupied."
Some silence passes.
"Alone," he repeats, almost to himself, as if savouring the word in his mouth. "Don't you ever feel... lonely though?"
His question hangs in the air like a dark cloud. It's an oddly personal inquiry, but you decide to address it professionally. "Loneliness is a feeling that many people experience at different points in their lives. It's a normal human emotion, and it's something we can work through."
His gaze narrows, and his gloved fingers twitch in his lap. His mask conceals most of his facial expressions, but you can sense an intensity in his gaze.
"I've felt lonely my entire life, you know," he points out as you sit yourself down in the chair in front of him just like all your previous sessions. Despite the considerable space between you two, sometimes you swear you can feel him breathing right down your neck. "Even being in here too, it.... feels like a different kind of loneliness. A place where they put people who are broken. Like me."
"I can assure you that you are not broken, Mr. Moon," You tell him reassuringly. "How are you with meeting the other patients here? Are there any you have been interacting with since our last session?"
He leans back slightly, his gloved hands still resting on his lap, and his gaze seems to drift momentarily as if he's recalling something.
"I think... they are scared of me, to be honest," he answers, eyes crinkling just slightly as if there was a smile playing on his lips right below his mask. "But... perhaps they're all just lost, confused, and weak. They pretend to get better, but they're just putting on a show. It's a bit pathetic, don't you think?"
"It's not uncommon for people in this environment to have their guard up," You tell him. "Sometimes, it's just a reaction to the unfamiliar. Everyone here is dealing with their own battles, just as you are, Mr. Moon."
He chuckles lowly at that. It's the first time you've heard such a sound like that leave his mouth, like a dissonant note echoing in an otherwise quiet room. His masked face gives nothing away.
"Maybe it's because of this stupid mask on my face," he says, touching the mask with the tips of his fingers. "It makes me look like a criminal or a monster."
"The mask might be intimidating to some," You acknowledge, crossing your arms together. "but it doesn't define who you are."
His eyes narrow slightly, though there's that twinge of amusement as he crosses his arms together, mirroring your body language.
"You're not scared of me, right, doctor?"
You meet his steady gaze, his own searching yours from behind the mask. There's a moment of silence, something unspoken lingering in the air.
"No, Mr. Moon, I'm not scared of you," You respond, keeping yourself composed. "I'm here to understand you."
He leans back, that hint of amusement still present on his face.
"I think you would make a great parent, doctor."
The unexpected compliment catches you off-guard for a moment, making you briefly at a loss for words. There's a slight blush that crawls up your cheeks, and you clear your throat, trying to regain your composure.
"Thank you." You give an appreciative smile. "That's very kind of you to say."
You see that flickering flame in his pupils again. It's a fire that seems to burn brighter with each passing minute, and it leaves you both intrigued and uneasy.
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FLASHBACK: 2013
"I told you not to call me that!" Hui exclaimed angrily in frustration, his face turning a shade of red as he glared at you. The sudden outburst had caught you off-guard, and for a moment, found yourself at a loss for words. His face contorted with volatile frustration, and his hands clenched into fists.
"I apologise," You said calmly, doing your best to defuse the situation. "I didn't mean to upset you. What would you like me to call you then?"
He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself down. His shoulders slumped, and his expression softened slightly.
"Just call me by my nickname, okay?" he urged, voice a tad less sharp now, but it's still enough to pierce. "Hui is fine. I hate my name! It's ugly. I want to forget about it𑁋I want everyone to forget about it! That name doesn't exist anymore, got it?"
"Of course, I understand." You leaned back forward in your chair, slow and cautiously. "But I want you to tell me why you stole crayons from Chaewon earlier in the rec room."
Hui only scoffed in response. "It's not that big of a deal. I only took a few from her. She'll forget about it."
"You took something from someone else without permission, Hui," You explained matter-of-factly. "That's a violation of their personal space and boundaries."
Hui's focus darted around the room for a moment, lips pursed and fingers messing around with the frays of his hospital gown. Then his gaze hardened once more as he landed back on you. His silence was almost unsettling as it stretched between you, but you remained patient, waiting for him to offer an explanation.
"Fine, whatever," he muttered, finally relenting. "I wanted them for a project I'm working on, that's all."
"A project? What kind of project?"
"Back in group therapy... They wanted us to create something meaningful or something𑁋something that means a lot to us, and I needed the crayons for it. So I took them from her."
It took a couple of moments before you nodded, acknowledging his explanation. "I see, Hui. It's important to express yourself through art or projects, but it's also important to respect others' belongings. Try asking for what you need instead of taking it without permission, okay?"
Hui's response was a simple, noncommittal nod, eyes holding onto yours a moment too long.
"Now, the next time you're back in the rec room, please say sorry to Chaewon whenever you see her, okay?"
Again, all he did was nod begrudgingly, his expression showing a hint of reluctance.
"Good." You gave him a proud smile. "That's all for today. Tell me about your project next session, alright?"
You felt his eyes on you as you grabbed your case notes and stood up, before leaving him in his room. And even though you were out of his room, you swore you could still feel the weight of his gaze on you.
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PRESENT DAY: 2023
You find Moon Jun sitting on the edge of the bed once entering inside of his room, gloved hands folded neatly in his lap. The mask obscures his face as usual, but his dark eyes lock onto yours the moment you walk inside. The dim lighting in the room casts long shadows on the walls, and you find yourself drawn into those shadows as you take a seat across from him.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Moon," You greet warmly, taking your usual seat across from him. "How has your day been so far?"
He doesn't immediately respond. There's a hint of curiosity in his hooded eyes, but it's devoid of warmth. It's subtle, almost imperceptible, but you've learned to pay attention to the smallest details when dealing with patients over the years. It still sends a shiver down your spine.
"Just been like any other day in this place," he finally replies coolly.
You offer a polite smile and proceed with the session. "Is there anything specific you'd like to discuss for today's session, Mr. Moon?"
He thinks for a moment, tapping his gloved fingers lightly against his knee. The rhythmic sound seems to echo in the room.
"Are you interested in mythology, doctor?" he asks, and the question was certainly something you didn't expect him to ask. He continues, "I've always had an interest in it growing up, so I was wondering if you did too."
You chuckle quietly. "I wish I could say the same, but... I guess I found it intriguing at times."
"Surely you must have heard some stories though." He giggles at this, unclasping his hands together and propping himself right at the edge of the bed so that he's leaning forward, his masked face closer to yours. The dim light makes it hard to see his features clearly, and the shadows in the room seem to grow darker, more pronounced. "Are you familiar with the creature, the phoenix?"
You pause for a moment to think, before giving a slow, careful nod. "I've... definitely heard of it."
"The phoenix," he murmurs, voice a soft, hypnotic cadence. "It's a beautiful creature of rebirth and fire, isn't it?"
The mention of fire makes you shift slightly in your seat.
"Mr. Moon, I'm not entirely sure where you're𑁋"
You're interrupted as he leans even closer, his masked face now mere inches from yours, his dark eyes locking onto yours with an intense and unsettling focus. The shadows play tricks on your vision, making it feel like the walls are closing in on you.
"I just find it fascinating," he continues. "The idea of burning away the old and rising from the ashes anew. It's like a fresh start, a chance to be reborn. Do you believe in second chances, doctor?"
You swallow the lump in your throat. His intense gaze, shrouded by the mask, seems to hold you almost captive and confined to the chair you sat on, and his words seem to echo in the confined space.
"I... I believe that everyone deserves a chance to heal and grow, Mr. Moon," You respond carefully, trying to regain your composure. "But it's also important to work through the past before embracing the future."
He tilts his head slightly, as if considering your words. The room remains eerily quiet, the shadows deepening around you.
"Do you believe people can truly change?" he asks, voice softer now, almost pleading.
You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his question sitting right on your chest.
"I believe that change is possible, Mr. Moon," You reply gently, choosing your words with care. "People have the capacity to grow and evolve, and to make choices that lead to a more positive outlook. But this varies from person to person𑁋if they are willing to put in the effort to do so."
For a moment, the tension in the room seems to dissipate slightly. The shadows on the walls appear to retreat, and the dim light feels less suffocating.
"Doctor," he finally speaks, voice low despite only being the two of you in the room, like he's telling you a secret. "what if... those flames of the past have burned too brightly, leaving nothing but ashes behind?"
You furrow your brows. "I-I would say𑁋"
"It's what happened to me, doctor, don't you understand?" he snaps suddenly, standing up from the bed to step closer to you. "You can't possibly understand what it's like to fucking lose everything, to watch it all burn in front of your fucking eyes! This is why I did this𑁋I put my life into the phoenix. I burned what was left of me, and now I'm here, in this absolute hellhole."
"Mr. Moon, I need you to calm down, please𑁋"
There's a flash of anger that shoots through his eyes, the flame burning in his pupils brighter than before. The atmosphere grows tense in the snap of a finger, and you instinctively stand up to bring yourself in the direction of the door to the room, maintaining a safe distance, acutely aware of the limited space and the fact that you're alone with him. There's an emergency button within reach where you can call for help whenever needed.
You can't get yourself to respond, feeling frozen from the way you can feel your heart pounding anxiously in your chest from his close proximity. He takes a step back, his hands trembling slightly as he clenches and unclenches them. The room seems to regain a semblance of normalcy, but the tension still lingers in the air, and you still can't move.
You watch as he cowers back towards the bed, leaving you standing next to the door. You felt as if you've been holding your breath, like you were submerged underwater and your fight or flight instincts were kicking in.
"You won't give up on me, right, doctor?" he asks, and the way he says it so weakly, naively, makes your head spin. "You can trust me, right?"
You smooth out your white coat, placing yourself back down in the seat across from him anticipatingly.
"I... I trust you," You mutter meekly. "I won't give up on you."
The corner of his eyes crinkle again. He's smiling. You can see it through the mask.
"How lovely," he states sweetly. "We're on the right track, then."
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"Y/N𑁋I mean Dr. L/N, are you okay?" Seokmin's voice comes up from behind as you walk yourself towards your office, feeling completely and utterly scatterbrained from the events of the past hour.
As Seokmin's voice reaches your ears, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. You turn to Seokmin and offer him a reassuring smile, though it doesn't quite reach your eyes, but seeing him in front of you already makes you feel a tad bit better.
"I'm fine, Seokmin, thank you." Your voice carries a hint of exhaustion and residual unease. "Just a challenging session, but I'm okay."
Seokmin just nods, but as you were about to turn around, he says, "If you... uh, ever need someone to talk to or anything, just know I'm here for you, okay? It can be tough, I've heard."
You smile gratefully at him, this time genuinely reaching your eyes. It feels like a breath of fresh air talking to him.
"Thank you," You tell him. "I might just have to take you up on that someday."
Seokmin scratches the back of his neck shyly and returns your smile with a warm one of his own. "Well, you know where to find me."
You stand still for a moment as Seokmin begins to dismiss himself away to resume his rounds, but just then, you feel a sudden idea pop up in your head.
"Seokmin, wait!" You exclaim after the man, who immediately turns around to the sound of your voice, peering at you worriedly. "Actually, there's something... Could you do me a favour?"
His eyes light up curiously. "Sure, what do you want me to do?"
You step up closer to him, looking around to ensure no one else was listening in.
"Can you help find me more information about the patient in 610?" You lean in, lowering your voice to a hushed tone. "I'd like to know more about his background, more than what's in his file right now, or just anything that might help me understand him better."
Seokmin raises a brow briefly but nods either way. "I'll see what I can do, Dr. L/N."
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FLASHBACK: 2013
The rec room was buzzing with activity as you entered, giving a chance for patients to interact with others and engage in activities outside of their rooms. Laughter, conversation, and the occasional burst of youthful energy filled the air; it’s a striking comparison to the somber atmosphere of the individual therapy sessions you usually conducted.
As you glanced around to find Hui, you finally caught sight of the boy sitting alone at a table in the very corner of the room. He appeared seemingly engrossed on the piece of paper in front of him, an array of crayons sat on the table. His focus was so intense that he seemed completely oblivious to the world around him.
You approached Hui's table with a gentle smile. "Hui, how are you doing today?"
Hui looked up from his drawing, eyes meeting yours briefly. "I'm fine," he replied coldly. "Just drawing."
You glanced down at his artwork, which depicted a scene of fire and destruction. The flames consumed a house, while stick-figure people screamed in the windows, their tiny, distorted faces twisted in agony. The only colours there would be that of the orange and red gigantic flame that enveloped the jagged, blackened lines of the house.
"That's... quite a powerful drawing, Hui," You commented as you took a seat right next to him. "What made you choose this subject?"
He shrugged nonchalantly, eyes not leaving his paper. "It's just what I felt like drawing."
"Is this supposed to represent what happened to your family?"
Hui only continued to mindlessly colour his drawing, his crayon moving across the paper with deliberate strokes.
"Maybe," he replied stoically. "I saw it all happen, but I couldn't do anything."
You studied Hui's face for a moment, but his expression remained blank, his focus entirely on the drawing. His mien was calm, almost eerily so, in comparison to the disturbing scene of destruction right below his fingertips.
"Can you tell me more about what you saw, Hui?" You asked him.
He glanced at you briefly, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something in his eyes. But it was gone so quickly that you couldn't be sure if you had imagined it.
"I already told you," he pressed. "I saw the fire, and I watched everything burn. It wasn't my fault that it happened."
You nodded, acknowledging his words, and continued to watch him work on the drawing.
"Did you ever feel sad about what happened, Hui?" You questioned.
Hui's face only remained impassive as he answered, "It won't change anything."
You could only think about all the trauma he must have endured𑁋from losing his family and being the sole survivor of such a ruinous event, to having to deal with all the emotions at once that it must feel almost numbing inside of him.
"Did anyone help you during or after the fire, Hui?" You prodded calmly.
He still didn't look up from his drawing. "Some firefighters came, and they put out the fire. But they couldn't save my family."
You felt that pang of sympathy for Hui as he mentioned the firefighters' futile attempts to save his family all while he was waiting right outside the house. It was clear that the traumatic experience had locked his emotions away behind a stoic, desensitized façade.
"I'm sorry to hear about your family, Hui," You said softly. "It's completely okay to feel sad or angry about what happened."
Hui's hand paused briefly in its colouring, but he didn't look up. You glanced down to the paper, noticing that he was drawing something in the corner, almost appearing like some sort of bird, like some sort of crow or cardinal.
"I don't feel much about it anymore. It's just the way things are."
Your eyes drift from his drawing, concern deepening, but you understood that emotional numbing was a common coping mechanism for trauma survivors. In a way, it's like a protective shell around oneself to prevent further pain. The emotional scars ran deep, and sometimes, it was easier for them to keep their feelings at bay rather than confront the overwhelming grief and sorrow that lurked beneath the surface.
That is what you attributed with Hui𑁋what you always had when he first came here. And you promised him patience and that it took time to fully heal.
"I'll leave you be now, okay?" You stood up from the seat, giving the young boy a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder.
Hui doesn't respond, still engrossed in his drawing. You took a step back, leaving him to his artwork, and decided to check on some of the other children in the room for the time being.
You swore you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away.
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PRESENT DAY: 2023
Your eyes are practically lasering holes right through the manila folder of Moon Jun's file.
The file only houses the basics𑁋his medical history, therapy notes, and observations from the staff. But there's something missing, something you can't quite put your finger on. His background information is limited, and there are no records of any family members or relatives listed. It's as if he appeared out of nowhere.
A knock on your office door makes you jump, and you quickly open your eyes to see Seokmin standing there with a stack of papers in his hands, concern etched on his face.
"Sorry, did I startle you?" he asks, stepping inside your office.
You offer a tired smile. "A bit, but it's okay. Come in."
Seokmin walks further into your office, closing the door lightly behind him. He takes a moment to study your expression, clearly noticing the exhaustion and frustration on your face. You let out a sigh and lean back in your chair, rubbing your temples with your fingertips as Seokmin sits down right across from you.
"So, I tried to do some digging, as you asked." Seokmin places the stack of papers on the desk. "It wasn't easy to look into his medical history, but I think this might be important."
You straighten up in your chair, your exhaustion momentarily forgotten as you lean in to examine the stack of papers Seokmin has brought. However, what you expected is to see information regarding him, but instead, you see news reports.
"I... I don't know if any of these can be related, but I found a few unsolved cases of arson over the years. It might be the cause of his facial scarring," Seokmin explains. "I think one of them happened at an orphanage, another at an abandoned warehouse nearby, and another at a small church a few miles from here."
You carefully pick up one of the articles and start to read the details. The article mentions a fire at an orphanage several years ago that resulted in the tragic loss of lives. The incident remained unsolved, with no clear cause identified. Then you come across another article about the fire at the warehouse, and it, too, was a case that had perplexed investigators, leaving it unsolved.
"...and I also think there was one about a family from around... nine? Ten years ago? I didn't read all the details of it, but I believe only one survived𑁋"
That's when you feel your heart drop all the way down to the ground, into the ground at that point, eyes widening as the gasp that leaves your mouth cuts Seokmin off. You're already standing up, fingers trembling, as you frantically shuffle through the articles he had provided for you.
"Where can I find that one? Is it here?"
Your adamancy surprises Seokmin as he scrambles through the papers before taking one out and offering it to you. You take the article from his hands. The paper is slightly crumpled, and the ink is faded, but the headline is still clear: "Family Tragedy Claims Lives, Sole Survivor Emerges."
The only survivor was a teenage boy, whose name was redacted from the article for privacy.
But you know exactly who it is.
The article describes how he had been found by the firefighters, huddled on the lawn outside the burning house, his eyes blank with shock. Authorities had attempted to investigate, but the case quickly went cold due to lack of evidence. It also mentions that the boy had lost his entire family that night and was assumed to be too traumatised to provide any coherent information about the fire's cause, which later caused him to be sent to a psychiatric facility due to the trauma.
"Doctor, what is this?" Seokmin interrupts your thoughts as he brings up another paper from view.
You glance up from the article to meet Seokmin's gaze, the urgency in his eyes mirroring your own. He unfolds it carefully, and as your eyes scan the headline, your heart sinks further: "Tragic Fire Engulfs Local Psychiatric Facility."
As you read through it, you swear you feel the same flames dancing up the skin of your arms. This article reports a fire that occurred exactly ten years ago at the very psychiatric facility where both you and Seokmin currently work. You were there that night. It was only your first year as a psychologist at the facility, still learning the ropes of your profession. The memories you've long tried to suppress come flooding back.
The sound of alarms blaring, the acrid smell of smoke, the frantic efforts to evacuate patients, and the feeling of utter helplessness as the flames consumed parts of the facility. It had left scars on your soul, scars you thought you had buried deep over the years.
That boy was one of your first ever patients.
Your arms are itching again, and you can almost feel the searing heat from that night a decade ago.
"Y/N, are you... are you okay?" Seokmin asks. You can see the worry in his eyes, but you're not sure if you can answer his question.
You swallow hard, your throat dry as you try to find your voice. "Yeah, I just... Sorry, reading this article, and..."
That's when Seokmin gets it. "Were you..." His eyes lower down to where one of your hands is clawing anxiously at the sleeves of your arm, and he immediately takes away the article from view. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I didn't know you were..."
You manage a weak smile as you bring your arms back down to your side, hugging yourself instead. "It's alright. You didn't know."
Seokmin doesn't seem entirely convinced, for a moment feeling stuck on what to say. "Are you sure that you're up for this? We can always𑁋"
"Yes," You say boldly. "It'll be okay."
You take a deep breath.
"I'll be okay."
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"You seem troubled today, doctor."
In the dimly lit room, Moon Jun's observation is shrewd as always, whose calculating eyes seem to analyse every twitch of your expression as you both sit in the room together, right across from each other, with him hovering over you while you felt feeling like a cowering mouse trapped in a cage.
You flash him a faint, grateful smile. "I appreciate your concern, but let's focus back on you now, shall we?"
"Uh-uh, doctor," he taunts, crossing his arms together and shaking his head dismissively. Even in the darkness of the room, you swear you see his lips curl into a smirk under that damn mask of his. "If I'm not mistaken, you said at the very beginning that I have control over what I want to talk about in our sessions. I realise I hardly know anything about you! Isn't that funny? I consider you a dear friend, you know. You're the only person in this place who even makes the effort to talk with me."
The weight of his words suspend like a dense fog. You can hear the faint hum of the ventilation system, see the way the lone light fixture in the room seems to flicker intermittently. It plays tricks on your perception, making his features appear to morph and shift, all while his eyes are practically dissecting you.
"Friendship... is built on trust," You reply cautiously. "But our sessions are designed for your benefit. My role here is to help you, not the other way around, and my personal life is not relevant for this."
He leans in closer, his eyes never leaving yours, and you can feel his intense focus like a physical weight. You're caught in the gravitational pull of his eyes, his relentless gaze that seems to strip away your defenses. "But, doctor, how can you truly help me if you don't open up a little?"
He tilts his head, the mask inches away from your face, his eyes boring into yours.
"We could be more than what we are right now, couldn't we, doctor?" he whispers, feeling his cold breath against your skin even through the mask, and you close your eyes. "I could make you feel things you've never felt before𑁋"
"Stop! Please!" You yell out unexpectedly, hearing nothing but the unsteadiness of your breaths and the echo of your own voice in the dim room. Your eyes snap back open; he's not hovering over you, and the disturbing scenario you had just experienced was nothing more than a figment of your imagination.
Instead, Moon Jun is calmly seated away from you, watching you intently from the bed. There's a curious glint in his eyes, one that suggests he's found your reaction to be rather... entertaining.
"Doctor, you do seem to be quite troubled today," he remarks almost playfully, voice dripping with amusement that shoots goosebumps up your skin. "Seeing things, aren't we?"
You can't quite find the words to respond, and the sensation of his cold breath against your skin still lingers in your memory.
"You must think about me a lot, day and night possibly, if you imagine such things," he teases, and you feel the way his words crawl under your skin. "You probably wonder what lies behind this mask of mine, don't you? You're a special friend𑁋perhaps you deserve to see it."
You watch the way his gloved fingers toy with the edges of his mask, and for a moment, it seems like he's contemplating something. The room is so silent that you can hear your own heart pounding in your chest.
Then without warning, he reaches up and slowly starts to peel off the mask, revealing the face hidden beneath. Your breath catches in your throat as his visage is unveiled.
His face is tainted by a network of scars, the skin tissue looking raw and discoloured. The scars extend from his jawline up to his cheeks and forehead, giving his face an almost grotesque and nightmarish appearance. Some scars look like they were caused by something sharp, while others appear more like burns. There were also some that seemed almost... fresher than others. His lips, once hidden by the mask, are twisted into a smirk that sends shivers down your spine.
"You wanted to see, didn't you, doctor?" he asks, voice low and taunting. "You wanted to know what's behind this mask."
You can't tear your gaze away from his disfigured face, and you're overwhelmed by a mix of curiosity, horror, and a strange fascination.
"Are you surprised, doctor?" he continues, voice now tinged with mockery. "Do I look like a monster to you?"
You can't seem to respond just yet, eyes still peering over him as if trying to discern the features of his face. There's this wave of familiarity that seems to hit you, as if you've seen those certain details before. A nagging feeling tugs at the corners of your memory like a half-forgotten dream.
You squint, trying to connect the dots between the disfigured face before you and the dim recollection buried deep within your mind. The way the scars twist and curl, the faint traces of burn marks𑁋it's all so eerily and hauntingly familiar. You swear you've seen those eyes before. He watches your expression closely, as if he can read your thoughts, and those eyes that seem to follow your every move, your every thought𑁋
And then it hits you. It hits you like a freight train on the tracks that was beyond avoidable. It hits you like a tidal wave crashing against the shore of your conscience, leaving wreckage to be abandoned and forgotten forever in its wake. It hits you like a thunderstorm tearing apart a peaceful, sunny day.
"Hui...?" is all you manage to choke out.
Images from the past flash before your eyes𑁋Hui, the young boy you once knew, whose face was marked with troubled innocence and a haunting vulnerability that had drawn you to him in the first place. You had watched him grow, had nurtured the fragile trust he had placed in you. You recall your early sessions together, hearing all the painful details of the fire that had torn his life apart.
His smirk deepens, and his eyes gleam with an uncanny satisfaction.
"Hui died ten years ago, doctor," he says with a cold, haunting certainty. "He died in that same fire that set this place ablaze. I'm sure you remember that very well, don't you?"
The room seems to close in on you, and the memories of that fateful night come rushing back like a torrential downpour. The fire, the chaos, the screams. It had been a nightmarish scene, etched into your memory like the faint scars that plague your arms from that very night.
But before you could respond, you felt something vibrate in your pocket. It's the end of your session.
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FLASHBACK: 2013
The fire alarm rang.
It was blaringly loud, completely jolting you out of your chair in the silence that carried through your office. Your heart raced as the panic had begun to sink in, the blood-red light of the alarm painted the muted colours of your office walls with a surreal, macabre-like glow, and the acrid scent of smoke was beginning to fill your lungs.
You reached for the door handle, but your trembling hands fumbled, and it wouldn't budge. You tried again and again, the cold sweat on your palms making it even more difficult to grip.
"Wh-What the hell?" You shakily muttered to yourself, before bringing your fists up to pound on the door. "Hello? Someone help me! I'm in here! Someone!"
The panic intensified as the fire alarm continued its relentless wail as you continued to pound on the door. Smoke started to seep in from the edges of your office door, and you could feel the heat of the flames approaching. You coughed, choking on the sharp fumes that stung your throat. It felt like the walls were closing in on you. Fuck, fuck, what do you do? How the hell was the fire spreading so fast?
You were trapped. You were going to die.
The windows! You remembered the windows. Desperation drove you to the large window on the wall. Instinctively, you grabbed a chair and used it to break it, the sound of shattering glass ringing in your ears, the shards grazing against your skin and the palm of your hands, making you let out a sharp gasp. Blood trickled from the cuts on your hands, and as you peered down to the ground below, you realised that you were too high above the ground for a safe jump.
The fire was only getting closer and closer.
As you hesitated by the shattered window, a muffled voice from the hallway reached your ears. "Is anyone in there? We're trying to get you out!"
Your eyes widened as you stumbled back to the door. "I'm in here! Please help!"
"Step back! We're breaking down the door!"
You stepped back from the window as much as you could and away from the smoke, feeling the flames inching closer. Your vision blurred as you fought to breathe, eyes stinging with tears from the dry air.
Moments later, a loud crash resounded through the room as the door burst open. A group of firefighters rushed in, their protective gear making them look like otherworldly figures emerging from the haze. They quickly located you, wrapped you in a fire-resistant blanket, and led you to safety.
Once you were outside, an emergency medical team checked you over for any injuries, plastered up your arms, and administered oxygen. You were shaken, bruised, and suffering from smoke inhalation, but you were alive. Somehow. In some way.
Then, you found your mind drifting back to Hui. Did he manage to get out safely? Where was he? Questions swirled in your mind as you watched the firefighters work tirelessly to contain the blaze. God, he must not be in the right state of mind after witnessing yet another fire himself.
"Excuse me..." You weakly called out to a paramedic, voice barely a whisper.
The paramedic turned to you, concern etched on their face beneath their protective gear. "Yes, are you okay?"
You swallowed hard, barely getting your words together. "I was in there... in the building. I have some patients... uh... Do you know if they made it out? I need to know if they're safe."
The paramedic exchanged a glance with another passing colleague, eyes hidden behind their mask, before returning back to you and shaking their head.
"We're still searching for survivors and dealing with the fire," they explained. "We can't give you any information right now. I'm truly sorry. I'll let them know to keep a lookout. Can you describe them for me?"
You described what your other patients and what Hui looked like as much as you could, and the emergency worker took down all the information before walking away to tend to others.
The silence that followed was suffocating, perhaps even more than what you endured inside the building, and you found it difficult to hold back tears of frustration from flowing down your face.
As the smoke gradually dissipated and the flames were brought under control, the once-deafening alarm was reduced to sporadic chirps and the occasional distant rumble of falling debris. The scene around you was one of destruction, merely charred remains of a place that was filled with hope and healing.
You glanced down at your trembling, injured hands and arms and see the cuts from the shattered window, yet the physical pain was nothing compared to the anguish in your heart, and the fear and guilt that gnawed at you. You lost patients whom you had sworn to protect, had sworn𑁋no, promised to heal.
It was only when the search and rescue teams began to wind down their efforts that you realised the search for Hui had come with no results. All of your other patients were safe, but him. There was no sign of him anywhere, as if he slipped off the face of the earth.
A firefighter approached you some time later, his face covered in soot appearing both exhausted and empathetic.
"I'm sorry," he spoke, voice heavy with regret and defeat. "We've searched every area we could access, but we haven't found anyone else. The fire was intense, and... I'm truly sorry."
His words hit you like a hammer blow, and you felt your heart sink even further. You had dedicated your life to saving others, and yet it seemed that you might have failed to save one.
"Thank... Thank you for trying," You mumbled to the firefighter, nodding in acknowledgement. "And thank you for risking your lives to save us."
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PRESENT DAY: 2023
The clouds outside obscure any hints of sunlight, and the overcast sky casts a sad, grey hue over the world outside. The room feels dim and lonely despite the overhead lights. You try to ignore that particular gnawing feeling to your skin as you sit at your desk, waiting for your next session with Moon Jun to start. It'll happen anytime now𑁋perhaps the more you anticipate will make time go by slower.
However your thoughts are interrupted by the soft knock at your door, and you look up to see Seokmin standing there. He offers you a warm smile as you motion for him to come inside, and you swear you see small ray of sunshine break through the clouds outside at the corner of your eye.
"Hey, how're you holding up?" he asks. "I wanted to check up on you."
You tilt your head a bit giddily at the sight of him. "We just had lunch break together, Seokmin."
He rolls his eyes at this, scratching the back of his neck bashfully. "I know, I know, but I... Well, is there a rule here that says I can't see you twice in one day when we're not working?"
Your lips purse together thoughtfully. "I guess not."
"Good." He grins, but it's quick to fade once he takes another look at you. "so... how have you been?"
The soft concern in Seokmin's voice is almost like a comforting hug for your ragged nerves. Normally it's your duty to ask your patients those kinds of questions, not the other way around. You offer him a tired but appreciative smile as he settles into the chair across from your desk. It's a rare moment when the roles are reversed, even if it's just for one short minute.
"You look tired," Seokmin points out, and it makes you let out a chuckle, even though it's tinged with weariness.
"You have a good eye, Seokmin," You reply playfully, and he blushes at this. "Do you want to know what I've been dreaming about the past few weeks?
Seokmin thinks about it for a second, then his eyes widen slightly.
"Is it... the fire?" he queries, hoping there's that small chance he might be wrong.
Your steady gaze meets his.
"Yes," You admit casually. "It's always the fire."
Or specifically, it's the fire and the guilt that you weren't able to save anyone, and it had been eating away at you ever since that fateful day.
His face softens at this, then he feels himself hesitate for a brief moment, before slowly reaching out to place his hand over yours on the desk. His touch is warm and reassuring, and you can feel the genuine concern in his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry you have to go through that, I wish there was a way I could... you know, stop you from reliving those kinds of things." His words make your lips twitch upwards, and he knows he's done something right. He finishes your smile with one of his own. "But... you're not alone in this. Just know I'm here."
"You've been helping me this entire time, Seokmin," You assure him. "If anything, I should be the one thanking you."
The weight of all the memories and unhealed scars left behind still cling to you like shadows. But in the presence of Seokmin, the burdens seem a little lighter, the darkness a bit less suffocating. The room seems a bit less lonely as you both sit there, just like all the days you eat lunch together where you seem to look forward to seeing him sit with you, and the sound of the clock ticking on the wall serves as a reminder that time keeps moving forward.
Before you know it, it's as if you've been struck by a gong that you could only hear, and you knew it was time to move forward with your session. You take your hand away from Seokmin as you stand up, and he follows suit.
"Y/N, wait, um..." Seokmin stops you before you could leave, and you turn back to him. "If something bad happens, or if you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me, even outside of work. I... want to make sure you're okay."
His words warm your heart, and you shoot him a thankful look.
"I know I can," You say, while opening the door to the outside of your office. "Thank you, Seokmin."
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When you enter inside room 610, you spot Moon Jun sitting on the chair that you were supposed to sit in, his posture relaxed and arms crossed almost impatiently. He didn't wear the mask on his face, and he appeared confident, somewhat smug. It was the only other chair in the room. The other place for you to sit would be... the bed. This isn't how a typical therapy session begins.
"Doctor, I was just thinking about you!" he exclaims excitedly. "Please, go ahead and sit down on the bed. I thought it would be great to change things up a little. You wouldn't mind, would you?"
You hesitate for a moment, glancing between him and the bed. Maintaining your professionalism, you make your way to the bed and sit down, folding your hands in your lap. Something brushes against your leg for a moment, you look down to see a sheet of paper sitting next to you, and a plethora of crayons resting on top.
"Please bare with me for the mess, I was busy drawing before you came in," he tells you, voice almost cheery and... delighted?
As you sit on the bed, his demeanour only raises more questions than answers. He appears unusually relaxed, and his eagerness is disturbing. It's unlike him.
"Of course, that's fine with me," You tell him casually.
There's a grin that spreads across his scarred face, and it brings an uncomfortable twist to your stomach, but you don't let it show, though at this point you feel that he can sense your nervousness, your unease, knowing there's history between you two you thought to have burned away in the back of your mind.
Yet it had all come back just like his reemergence back into your life𑁋into something more sinister.
"He talks to me sometimes, even though he's perished in the flames," Jun begins, grabbing the paper right next to you. "You remember his drawings, right? Back in that big, bright room... where beneath all those smiles of the other patients was just... hopelessness."
Then he flips the paper over, and you find yourself peering at a drawing of flames, and the uncanny similarity to Hui's artwork all those years ago cannot be ignored. You see the same vivid depiction of flames, the swirling reds and oranges dancing on the page, and the black lines of its remains. But more than that, it's the emotions that these drawings evoke, the overwhelming sense of dread, and the traumatic memories that it unsheathes. He's the personification of the fire that scarred you all those years ago.
You feel a lump form in your throat. "Hui..."
"I-I am not Hui!" he wails out unexpectedly, voice shaking with anger. His hand grips the crayon so tightly that it snaps in his grasp, the colour streaking across the paper. "Hui is dead, remember? Burned by the flames?"
"If you're not Hui, then who are you?" You ask almost pleadingly.
His fingers toy with the broken crayon as he leans in closer, his disfigured face mere inches from yours. His gaze pierces through you like a knife, and in the dimly lit room, the shadows play tricks on his scarred face, making his disfigurement seem even more malformed.
"The phoenix, don't you remember, doctor?" He chuckles lowly. "It's a creature reborn from the ashes of its own destruction, risen from the flames just like me. Rebirth and fire, doctor! You haven't been paying attention, have you?"
You sense the panic seeping inside you, causing your heart to race. His words send shivers down your spine, and you realise that he's explaining with a belief that goes beyond mere delusion, beyond repair. The scars on his face are only a fraction of the damage done. He claims to have risen from the ashes, taking on a new identity, giving him this motive of... cleaning the world with fire.
Cleaning the world...
...with fire.
Ashes of its own destruction....
"You..." You slowly rise up from the bed, the room suddenly feeling too confining. The door seemed like it was miles away, and you find your breathing shaky and unsteady. "You were... you caused those fires, didn't you?"
His eyes fixate and narrow down on you as you stand up from the bed, and a sly smile spreads across his scarred face. His gaze is intense, and you feel like you're trapped. You recall the sessions you had with him years ago that you thought were leading him toward healing. But now, you face a man who has fully embraced a twisted ideology.
"I didn't cause those fires," he responds with eerie calmness. "I simply set things in motion."
"You𑁋You killed innocent people, you were the one... from ten years ago... You𑁋"
"They were all lost, meaningless, and I brought meaning to their lives. What's so hard to understand?" he deadpans.
"You killed your family," You state. "How can... how can you justify that?"
"Hui killed his family, I didn't," he claims, crumpling up the piece of paper in his hands. "Hui started all of this, I'm merely just a follower. He was misunderstood his entire life, and you promised him healing, which you didn't fulfill."
The room feels like it's boiling you alive, and you're stuck in an endless maze of his twisted delusions. There's a sense of helplessness as you try to reach through to the man behind the scars, the one who once sought your help, but you fear that he's too far gone.
"Jun, this isn't the answer. The… the phoenix is not real,” You plead, your voice trembling. "Hui was troubled, yes, but violence is not the path to understanding or redemption. It only leads to more pain and destruction."
His expression only hardens as he throws the crumpled up piece of paper on the floor, gloved hands forming fists at his side.
"You think you can help people by sitting in your comfy chair, listening to their problems, and scribbling notes on a fucking notepad." He scoffs annoyedly, leaning back in his chair. "You're just like all the others, doctor, so dumb and worthless. You never understood... You say that you do, but you don't."
And just as you were about to speak, you watch him pull something out of the pocket of his patient gown. You squint your eyes, and a gasp shudders out of you when you notice what's in his hands.
A lighter.
"You people are just so gullible, all while you're thinking you're helping," he mutters, flicking the lighter on. The tiny flame dances at the tip, casting bizarre shadows across his scarred face. "When in reality, you're laughing behind our backs with your stupid cigarettes and your fancy degrees. You wouldn't believe the things you can find in a place like this. It's amazing what people leave lying around."
There's an arrow that penetrates through your heart, an arrow of betrayal, helplessness. How can he think of you this way when you dedicated your entire time to helping him heal all those years ago? How can he, of all people, not see that your intentions were always to provide support and understanding?
You can feel the room heating up, not just from the small flame but from the growing tension. Jun's eyes are locked onto the flickering fire of the lighter, and his words are plagued with bitter resentment. You attempt to scurry to the door, but he blocks your way, nearly shoving the flame of the lighter in your face.
"Don't you see how beautiful this is, doctor?" he utters in a trance-like state, as if the flame was hypnotising him. The orange and yellow hues reflect onto his soulless eyes. He moves the lighter dangerously close to your face, and you can feel the searing heat radiating from the tiny inferno at the tip of your nose.
Your heart pounds like a beating drum, beads of sweat form on your forehead, and your breathing quickens as panic threatens to engulf you. But his gaze only remains possessed on the fire, as if he's being consumed by the very flames he holds in his hands.
"It's so beautiful how something so small can hold so much power," he murmurs, voice barely more than a whisper.
"This... This isn't the way to find meaning or healing," You respond, slowly backing away from him, trying to create some distance between the flame and yourself. "Fire and destruction only lead to more suffering, more pain. It's not the answer, Jun."
For a split second, something flickers in Jun's eyes, as if a fragment of his former self tries to break free from the shackles of his obsession. But it's a fleeting moment, quickly devoured by his fixation on the fire.
"There are... There are people who want to help you. Don't you remember all of our sessions together? All the... all the breakthroughs we had? You were making progress, Jun. You were on your way to healing." You bring your hand up as if in defense, watching him closely as he steps the tiniest inch closer to you. "I... I want to help you, I always have. I..."
He stares at you, and for a moment, it seems like your words might be getting through to him.
"Let me help you, Hui."
But just when you think your words may have struck a chord, his face contorts into a menacing grin and you can see the flame reflect onto his eyes. The last fragile thread of sanity that seemed to linger has snapped.
"You failed Hui that night, just like you failed me." He chuckles darkly. "You couldn't save us. Do you really think you can save everyone, doctor? Do you really think all the patients you've helped all these years are any better off now?"
Now, you found yourself speechless, a tight grip around your throat from his words.
He laughs coldly, waving the flame in front of your face once more. "You're so blind, doctor. You want to heal and save everyone, but you can't save me, and you can't save yourself. I can see it in your eyes."
He’s getting in your head, you know he is. He's trying to loosen your grip on whatever reality is𑁋attempting to unravel in your mind that you were, in some way, responsible for the events that had occurred over the years, forcing you to succumb to the guilt placed on your shoulders. You've never dealt with someone so deeply rooted to their own twisted reality. You can't reason with him.
It's impossible.
But you refuse to be the victim of your own past just like you had made yourself to be.
"Junhui," You call out urgently, and the use of his real name brings a harsh, foreign taste to your tongue. You notice the way he flinches slightly to it. "That person still exists inside you𑁋I-I know it does. Please, let that part of you come back. I'm here to listen, to understand, and to help. No matter what you believe."
The flame continues to sway at the end of the lighter, yet his face remains deformed into that unsettling grin, but your words seem to have given him a momentary pause.
"You think you can bring him back?" he hisses, bringing the flame away from your face, stretching his arm out toward the side. "He's dead, doctor. It's too late."
And with that, he tosses the lighter in the direction of the bed, and a cascade of flames quickly engulf the sheets, the crayons, the drawing, everything. Horror sets in as you watch the fire rapidly spreading, consuming the room, and overhead the fire alarm screams into action.
"Isn't it beautiful, doctor?" he guffaws as the flames devour the room, eyes wide with awe. "It's so perfect... So beautiful..."
Nothing but Jun's laughter fills the air as he watches the flames lick up the once-white walls with a maniacal fascination. The flames flicker and crackle loudly, casting shifting shadows on the walls of the room. You dart towards the door, but the intense heat and smoke make it nearly impossible to breathe or see, and you cover your mouth and nose with your hand. Coughing and vision disoriented, you stumble and hit the floor with a thud, weakly pounding your fists against the door.
"Someone help!" You shout desperately, the words barely escaping your mouth. "Someone help! I-I'm in here! Anyone, please!"
The room is suffocating you whole. You can hardly even see where Jun is amidst all the smoke, yet his laughter still rings in your ears, fogging away all your thoughts. You keep pounding on the door, voice hoarse from shouting, skin tingling with heat, but there's no response from the other side.
So this is how you're going to die, You think to yourself, leaning back against the wall like you were accepting your fate, and the thought makes you chuckle at the irony.
Time seems to stretch into eternity. But just when it feels like all hope is lost, the door bursts open, and a strong hand reaches in, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the room and into the chaotic corridor. In the corridor, the fresh air is quick to fill up your lungs. You gasp for breath, your heart racing, while the fire alarm continues to blare.
It's Seokmin who pulled you from the room, and you can hardly make out his face from your stinging, watery eyes. He wraps a protective arm around you as you both stumble away from the dangerous room, mixing with the rushing crowd of staff and patients all being guided outside to their safety.
"Y/N, are you okay?! Stay with me!" Seokmin continues to pull you through the corridor, shielding you from anything that you might run into.
You only manage a weak nod, still coughing from all the smoke. Your mind is racing, and you can hardly tell where you were going, but you trust Seokmin's guidance as he leads you further away from the scene of the fire. The sounds of sirens and shouting surround you, and the sight of the smoke floating out from the room you just escaped haunts your thoughts.
When the brightness of the outside hits your eyes, you catch your breath and fall out of Seokmin's grasp and down to the ground. Firefighters and police officers quickly brush past you and into the building as Seokmin pulls you up once more to lead you in the direction of the paramedics and ambulances.
"Here, sit down." Seokmin places you on the stair of the ambulance and helps you out of your white coat before wrapping a blanket around you. "Can we get some help over here?"
A paramedic approaches, checking you over and providing oxygen to help clear your lungs of all the smoke you inhaled. Your heart is still pounding in your chest as you sit there, trying to process what just happened.
Seokmin places himself right next to you, scanning over your features closely. You look over at him, and he gives you a reassuring smile, pushing away some disheveled strands of hair so he could properly see your face.
"You're going to be okay," he assures you, rubbing some comforting circles on your back. "Just take deep breaths and try to relax. They'll take you to the hospital to make sure you're alright."
You give him a nod, feeling a bit more security from him than the blanket draped over your shoulders right now. The two of you sit there for a few minutes, calmly watching the chaos begin to subside. It didn't look like the fire damaged much in terms of the outside of the building.
"I'm going to see if I could help around," Seokmin says, standing up. "Just stay here, okay? I'll be back before they take you to the hospital."
Just as he begins to walk away, you hesitate for a second, before calling out his name, "Hey, Seokmin?"
He turns back to you, a look of concern in his eyes. "Yes? Do you need something?"
You reach out your hand toward Seokmin, silently gesturing for him to come closer. He approaches, and without a word, you pull him into a tight hug. You feel him freeze in your grasp, before his arms fully encircle you in return, tightening the hug, and for a moment, the world around fades away as you hold onto each other. You can feel his heart beat a bit faster than normal against your chest, but you don't acknowledge it, and neither does he.
Eventually, you reluctantly pull away from the hug, but you don't let go of Seokmin's hand just yet.
"Thank you," You whisper. "for everything."
His gaze softens as he looks at you, before glancing away shyly. It makes you chuckle.
"No need to," he tells you. "I'm... I'm just happy you're safe."
The two of you stay like that for a moment, with you closing your eyes to steady your breathing while Seokmin continues to hold your hand, and you can feel the tension in your body slowly easing.
Seokmin's smile is warm, and he squeezes your hand gently. "I'll be back soon, okay? Just hang in there."
With that, he leaves your side to assist the emergency responders, leaving you seated on the ambulance's stairs, wrapped in a blanket. Your brows furrow together, trying to make sense of the situation and all the events that just transpired. The fear, the confusion, the mania that gripped the lost man back in that room𑁋it all swirls within your mind. The lingering scent of smoke fills your nose, and you swear and you can still feel the heat on your skin even though the air was cool outside.
As you sit there, lost in thought, suddenly feeling disconnected from the world around you, you find yourself questioning the nature of your profession and everything you ever believed about it. Could you have done something differently? Were there signs you missed that might have prevented this particular descent in delusion? Was he right, and you were blind this entire time? Not just for him, but for everyone you've helped?
Were you really this dumb and worthless?
Or perhaps was it impossible to save him this entire time...
...and he was too far gone?
That hefty burden of guilt, both for your inability to help him in the past and in the present, weighs heavily on your shoulders. What's for sure is that this will forever be an image tainted in your mind, scarred just like the man who brought destruction and chaos to your life today, and that particular day ten years ago.
You don't know how long you sat there until Seokmin returns, yet when he comes up to you, his face appears disturbed and... paranoid?
"They've got the fire under control. It didn't spread much farther than the room," he informs you, catching his breath. "It seems like nobody else was hurt."
"That's good to hear." Your eyes roam over his features, taking in the tense expression to his face. "Is... is everything okay? How about..."
He sits down beside you, expression still apprehensive. You can see the flicker of concern in his eyes, and the remnants of the chaos from moments ago are still evident in the way he holds himself. His gaze meets yours, and you notice a small shift in his demeanour, as if there's something he's struggling to express.
Seokmin darts his attention around, as if making sure no one was listening in, before taking a deep breath and leaning in.
"They... They said they didn't find his body in the room," he mutters, and it's so quiet you hardly make out what he says. "It's... It's like he escaped."
Your heart drops. A sinking feeling settles in your chest. Dread washes over you at his words.
"W-What?"
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another another note: sorry if u expected some sort of romance w jun (which would kinda be weird for the story tbh), but feel free to imagine whatever u want w our dear seokmin. cgrats on making it to the end of the longest oneshot i’ve made so far on this blog 😍🫶
taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @rubywonu @etherealyoungk
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starkwlkr · 9 months
Note
Hi
It's ok if the request got deleted no need to say sorry,
Can u pls make a fic about papa nolan finding out about cillian and physicist!reader's relationship,
Like would he be angry or accepting, i was wondering
And then if u r comfortable with it then a time jump to the wedding or pregnancies
I would really like to know his reactions!!
This is really just a follow up to another anon request (which u made a fic on) and had this idea
Anyway so sorry for the long request
Have an awesome day ahead!!!!
nolan!reader x cillian murphy headcanons
I’m going to make these headcanons if that’s ok 🫶🏼🫶🏼 and i think i got carried away but who cares 😌
Ok so obviously y/n and cillian met in the early 2000s (you can make up how they met)
papa nolan knows that y/n is talking to a boy but he doesn’t know it’s mr. ‘my eyes aren’t even that blue’ so when y/n tells papa nolan that her bf is coming over for dinner, he’s preparing to meet so douche bag who says his favorite movie is pulp fiction or fight club (nothing wrong with that, but the film bros make me want to gauge my eyes out)
anyways, cillian shows up and ofc they get along great <3
after cillian and y/n are now OFFICIAL official obviously the press asks about what papa nolan thinks and if they get along
y/n and cillian are just the it couple of the 2000s like they’re on the cover of every magazine with those cheesy headlines ‘she’s got the beauty AND the brains’
literally any interview cillian or papa nolan do, they ramble about y/n and how proud they are of her
and you know how it goes, first comes love then comes marriage then comes y/n with a baby carriage🤍💍🍼 butttttt our fav nepo baby and Irish man don’t do it in that order bc my girl y/n got pregnant with their first baby in 2003 and she’s named alexandria
papa nolan is so excited about the birth of baby alex and he always offers to babysit whenever even if he’s busy
baby alex and papa nolan are my favorite duo 🫶🏼
eventually cillian and papa nolan work together on batman begins and you bet that baby alex is always on set
papa nolan at first did not want to bring her because he thought alex would be scared but she loved being on set and meeting everyone
her and christian bale become besties by the end of filming 🤞🏼
baby alex got to say the last “cut!” and everyone laughed because of how cute she sounded
bonus: cillian tried to get her to put the scarecrow mask on but she thought it was yucky (her exact words)
y/n and cillian don’t have kids until like 2014 because they were busy with work obviously like cillian getting movie roles and y/n being at work 24/7 and getting a literal nobel peace prize but eventually she does get pregnant and BAM it’s twins
it’s 2014 and they’re still not married (it happens ya know just ask academy award winner michelle yeoh)
but y/n gets pregnant and she wants to wait until the twins’ birth and then get married
but anyways the murphy twins arrive and papa nolan just cries happy tears because he now has more grandchildren to love and spoil whenever he wants to (they’re named scarlett and wyatt and papa nolan gives them nicknames idk what they would be but go wild with your imagination besties 🫶🏼)
papa nolan just wants to see his daughter get married and see her happy with her new family 🫶🏼
the day of the wedding comes and baby alex is the flower girl and steals the show
it’s a private wedding BUT that doesn’t stop it from being the most famous wedding of 2014
ofc christian bale is there like who doesn’t want batman at their wedding?? tom hardy, best man um yes?! peaky blinders cast, jake gyllenhaal (swifties, don’t hate me, I love jake and he’s one of my favorite actors)
jessica chastain and anne hathaway ofc they’re invited
u know if heath ledger was still alive he would def be invited 🫶🏼
I’m picturing the kids having career day at their schools and each kid takes an adult like papa nolan goes to alex’s school, wyatt takes y/n and cillian goes with scarlett and every adult is just like “fuck, how am i supposed to go on after them?!”
papa nolan goes all out with his presentation for career day like he even called hans zimmer and christian bale to impress the kids (obviously hans zimmer would impress the teachers, not the kids but some kids recognize the music from batman movies so let’s just go with it)
twitter loves the murphy-nolan fam 🫶🏼
no bc i just imagine the edits to beautiful boy with dad!cillian and I’m bawling
ok ok flashforward to 2023 and oppenheimer is coming out and twitter gets more content on the murphy-nolan fam
y/n finally does an interview bc she worked with the cast and taught them about ✨science✨
Y/N AND CILLIAN AT THE OPPENHEIMER PREMIERE AND THEN PAPA NOLAN PHOTOBOMBING THEIR PICS
overall the murphy-nolan fam has my heart and surprise! the murphy kids watched barbie because the twins are not even old enough to watch oppenheimer and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to watch their dad have fake s e x with another woman (FLORENCE PUGH ILY)
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junnieverse · 7 months
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✧ — JUNNIEVERSE PRODUCTIONS
PRESENTS !
" spill your guts "
... Olivia Rodrigo's GUTS album
x ENHYPEN !
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WELCOME 💌 : hi everyone, so this is officially my first ever series so thank you very much for being here. I am without a doubt in love with not only olivia's sour album but her guts album too that has been on repeat on my spotify every day. I soon grew inspired to write some oneshots for the enhypen members with songs from this album and I can only hope you all like them.
I also wanted to make sure that these songs gave off a vibe that linked to a certain member and I could easily think of a plot with that member and the song so it wasn't easy since I wanted it to all come out 'perfect' but albeit it was also really fun to immerse myself into these songs and write the stories so I just hope that you all enjoy my work.
I do want to give a small disclaimer too that this is ofcourse pure fictional work and I do not in any way perceive the members to be as toxic or have any traits like how they are in these stories. (Y/n) isn't much of a saint either in a few of these but they are simply a wounded character. Don't hate the character, hate their actions (well maybe we can tomato this toxic enha /hj).
once again, thank you all so much, I appreciate your support greatly :)
— this is mars signing out !
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PAIRING : enhypen x reader
GENRE : angst , slightly suggestive , very little to no fluff
WARNINGS : toxic enhypen , mentions of infidelity , mentions of alcohol/drinking , swearing , mentions of insecurities , possibly suggestive language being used , etc
STATUS : ongoing
TAGLIST : open
(either comment or send an ask to be added, no dms pls)
✧ — [ 6 / 7 ] members completed !
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✦ track 01 : logical
⨾ featuring yang jungwon
— you had known from the beginning that your relationship with jungwon was far from perfect, many would simply put it as toxic because of how manipulative he was but you were too blinded by love that all the lies and deceit felt meaningless. it was too late before you realised how dysfunctional it all was, love wasn't logical after all.
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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✦ track 02 : making the bed
⨾ featuring lee heeseung
— he was unattainable and yet you still wanted him. pretending to be someone you weren't putting yourself in difficult positions simply for his attention. with every move you made, it seemed you were digging yourself a deeper hole for a one sided love and through it all you were losing not only the people who cared about you but yourself.
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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✦ track 03 : the grudge
⨾ featuring park jongseong
— "forgive and forget" they'd say, if only they knew it wasn't that easy. jay was one of the people you trusted the most and he only betrayed your trust, no matter how much you tried to forgive him, you knew it would take alot of strength to heal from what he put you through and letting go of the grudge you held against him would be a long journey.
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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✦ track 04 : get him back !
⨾ featuring sim jaeyun
— despite having ended things with jake you were conflicted between hating the man and loving him all in one. you missed all the happy memories between the two of you but it was even harder to forget all the hurt he put you through. revenge is best served sweet, maybe it's time you get him back!
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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✦ track 05 : bad idea right ?
⨾ featuring park sunghoon
— you were completely over sunghoon, no feelings for him whatsoever... or atleast that's what you would tell your friends. he was no good for you and yet no matter how many other guys came your way, sunghoon was the only one on your mind, maybe reconnecting as 'friends' would be fine, it wasn't a bad idea... right?
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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✦ track 06 : love is embarrassing
⨾ featuring kim sunoo
— you felt like a complete fool. you told everyone he was 'the one' but seeing sunoo with someone else hit you like a truck. it was humiliating having to deal with the fact that you so easily fell for him and yet he had his eyes set on someone else. you knew you had to let him go and yet you were still holding on onto false hope.
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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✦ track 07 : vampire
⨾ featuring nishimura riki
— the ever so loved and popular ni-ki, cherished and adored by everyone for his fame and popularity and yet here you were laughing bitterly at how naïve and blinded you were by him. he would tell you how much he loved you but it had already been too late before you realised how he used you to get where he was, draining everything in you like a vampire.
ꗃ you can read it [ here ]
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191 notes · View notes
pennyellee · 5 days
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈 - 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐭
LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU
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pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au
summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.
Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.
chapter warnings:minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, religious references, mentiones of physical violence, loss of blood, incision wound, suicide attempt, strong language, consented sexual intercourse, oral sex, fingering, handjob, emotional distress, remorse, verbal confrontation, emotional manipulation, suicidal ideation, bargaining, ... (if i forgot smth, pls i'm so sorrryy)
beta read by @chaoticpuff17
word count: 11,6K
disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.
author's note: is at the end of the chapter! 🫧🩵
m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III CHAPTER IV CHAPTER V CHAPTER VI CHAPTER VII CHAPTER IX
lítost (n.) a state of agony and torment by a sudden sight of one’s misery
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She could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, the soft rustle of wind making her hair dance. The scent of fresh blooms filled the air. She buried her feet into the warm sand and smelled the summer heat mixed with the salty ocean. It was as if time stood still, frozen in a moment of perfect happiness.
She relished the sensation of sand between her toes, the soft grains shifting beneath her feet with each step she took. As she gazed out at the endless expanse of the ocean, the horizon stretched out before her like a canvas painted with shades of blue and gold. The waves lapped gently against the shore, a rhythmic lullaby that echoed the beating of her heart.
She slowly returned to the porch of a quaint cottage, the soft glow of sunset casting a warm embrace around her. Y/N could hear the front door to open when she carefully slumped down to one of the armchairs in the cosy living room.
“I’m home!”
His footsteps were steady and purposeful as he crossed the threshold, his presence filling the room with a sense of familiarity that tugged at the edges of Y/N’s consciousness.
“Hey, beautiful,” he greeted, his voice like a soft melody that danced through the air, sending shivers down her spine. He moved closer, his features slowly coming into focus as he stepped into the light.
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she met his gaze, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. His eyes were dark and intense, but filled with a warmth that made her pulse quicken with anticipation.
“How was your day?” she asked standing up again to greet him, her voice barely above a whisper as she took in his rugged appearance, the faint stubble lining his jaw, the way his hair fell effortlessly across his forehead.
“Been better, -”
“-hurried home to you, love,” he replied, his voice low and husky as he reached out to take her hand in his. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through her veins, igniting a fire deep within her soul. She feels such a strong connection to him, not stopping to think why.
Y/N’s eyes wandered around the room, overlooking the family portraits on a wall full of memories. Her fingers enveloped his dark soft hair, playing with them. As she caressed his hair, a sense of comfort washed over her, as if she had done this a thousand times before. The warmth of his hand in hers felt familiar, like coming home after a long journey.
He leaned in closer, his breath warm against her skin as he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “And how is my sunshine?”
Y/N’s heart fluttered at the endearment, a warmth spreading through her chest at his words. She tilted her head up to meet his gaze, her eyes soft with affection as she smiled up at him.
“Missed you,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. His lips curved into a tender smile, his eyes glowing with adoration as he leaned in to press another kiss to her forehead.
“Did you?” he teased her.
Y/N felt her cheeks flush at his teasing tone, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she nodded in response.
“Of course, -” she replied, her voice filled with genuine affection. “You know I always miss you when you’re not home.”
He grinned at her words, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“Well, we better fix that, love,” he said, his voice laced with warmth as he leaned in to press a lingering kiss to her lips. Y/N melted into his embrace, her heart fluttering with joy as she wrapped her arms around him, savouring the feeling of his lips against hers.
“Good enough?” He asked, his tone playful.
“Maybe a tiny bit more,” she murmured, her voice filled with love. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he pulled back slightly, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Is that so?” he teased again, his voice husky with desire. Without waiting for her response, he captured her lips in another searing kiss, his hands trailing down her sides, igniting a fire deep within her.
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she melted into his embrace, her fingers tangling in his hair as she deepened the kiss, losing herself in the intensity of their passion. In that moment, there was nothing else in the world but the two of them, their bodies pressed together in a perfect symphony of desire and longing.
“Seems like I can’t get enough of you, love,” he moaned to the kiss, his hand already travelling past her underwear to coat his fingers with her juices. The nearest wall served as a support column for her once she wrapped one of her legs around his waist, working on his suit pants.
With each touch, each caress, she felt herself slipping deeper into the abyss of desire, her body humming with pleasure as his fingers expertly explored her most intimate places. She gasped as he skilfully teased her, sending shivers of ecstasy coursing through her veins.
Hiking the hem of her dress up, the nearest table collided with her upper body, her hand spread over the width of the wood, gripping the edge forcefully. Within her, a fire burned bright, consuming her with a fervour she had never known before, as she surrendered herself completely.
“Such a pretty ass, -” slapping the soft skin with his palm he lowered to taste the juices she produced. Y/N’s free hand reached to press his head to her heat, moving her hips slightly to the rhythm of his tongue.
The feeling of his warm breath against her skin, the flick of his tongue, sent her spiralling into ecstasy. Her hand gripped the edge of the table tighter, her knuckles turning white as she surrendered herself completely to the pleasure. She arched her back, pushing herself closer to him, craving more of his touch, more of his intoxicating taste.
With each flick of his tongue, she felt herself getting closer and closer to the edge, the fire within her burning brighter with each passing moment. Before she could release with a loud moan he slapped the other cheek, turning her over while he straightened himself behind her, chuckling at her frustration once he did so. With a hunger that bordered on desperation, he positioned himself, his hands roaming over her curves as he leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear.
“Is my baby needy?” a soft whimper came out of her, she nodded, her heart pounding in her chest as she craved more of his touch, more of his intoxicating presence.
“Yes, -” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath as she pressed her hips back against him, desperate for the connection she knew only he could provide.
With a swift movement, he entered her from behind, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from her lips. The sensation of him filling her, stretching her in all the right ways, sent waves of addiction coursing through her body. His movements slow and deliberate as he fills her completely. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she felt him moving inside her, each thrust sending waves of pleasure crashing over her.
“Fuck!” She had to curse out loud, biting her lip. The room was filled with loud moans and groans, the audible skin to skin contact as he raised the tempo, his hand pressing her head to the table.
As he moved in perfect harmony, Y/N felt a sense of bliss wash over her, her body trembling with pleasure as she surrendered herself completely to the moment. With each thrust, she felt herself teetering on the edge of ecstasy, her senses heightened by the raw intensity of their desire.
“You’re such a good girl, -”
She tightened around him, her nails digging into the wooden surface of the table. His groans became louder with each snap of his hips to her welcoming heat and Y/N could not help but bite down her lip, painful yelp filled with the backdrop of pleasure leaving her mouth as he continued to hit all the right places.
A primal growl resonated as he buried himself deeper inside her, feeling her walls clenching around him, urging him closer to the brink.
With one final thrust, they both reached the pinnacle of their desire, their bodies exploding in a symphony of ecstasy. Y/N’s back arched, a guttural cry escaping her lips as waves of orgasm washed over her, engulfing her in a whirlwind of bliss.
He groaned loudly, his release echoing hers as he emptied himself inside of her, their connection deepening with each pulsating wave of pleasure.
As they slowly came down from their euphoric high, Y/N’s breaths came in ragged gasps, her body still trembling with aftershocks. She turned to him, her eyes glazed with satisfaction, a lazy smile playing on her lips.
“A bath, shall we?” Y/N’s head twitched to the side, thinking why this trivial sentence sounds way too familiar. Shaking it off she pressed her damaged lips to his with a pleased hum as agreement.
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Time seemed to slow as Yoongi lunged forward, reaching out to stop her, but it was too late. The blade sliced through her skin, leaving a trail of crimson in its wake.
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as pain seared through her, her vision swimming with darkness. She felt Yoongi’s hands on her throat, his panicked voice calling out, but it was too distant, as if coming from a faraway place.
“Seokjin?!!” he shouted; his voice raw with desperation.
He cradled her in his arms, his hands trembling as he pressed against the wound, trying desperately to stem the flow of blood.
The sound of loud footsteps echoed in the corridor as others rushed forward to reach the doctor, their expressions a mix of horror and disbelief. But amidst the chaos, Y/N’s empty gaze remained fixed on Yoongi, her eyes still burning with flames.
“Stay with me, baby. Don’t leave me please.” Yoongi whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. He pressed his lips to her forehead, willing her to hold on, to fight for her life.
But as he looked down at her pale, lifeless face, he knew that the road ahead would be long and fraught with challenges. For now, all he could do was pray that she would survive, that she would find the strength to forgive him, and that they would someday find their way back to each other.
“Please don’t take her away from me, my Lord.”
Yoongi prayed that it was not too late to save her from the darkness that threatened to consume them both.
One thing remained clear in Yoongi’s mind: he would do whatever it took to save her, to make amends for the pain he had caused, and to prove to her that his love was worth fighting for.
Yoongi’s voice cut through the turmoil, his words a desperate plea for forgiveness. He begged for her to forgive him, to give him another chance to make things right. No more secrets, no more lies. No more pain. He was willing to rebuild their relationship from the ground up, on a foundation of honesty and trust.
The metallic scent of blood mingled with the tang of fear, thickening the air with a palpable sense of impending doom. He ripped one of his sleeves a while ago, pressing the roughly crumpled fabric to the wound, praying that Seokjin is near, or that anyone heard him scream frantically enough to relay the message.
“You can’t leave me, baby, please. I promise we’ll work everything through.”
He kissed and caressed her hair with his free hand that was covered with her blood. Tears blurred his vision as his hand trembled at the sight. A blood he never wished to shed.
“Please, Y/N, you have to forgive me.” The weight of his actions pressed down on him like a leaden blanket, suffocating him with the weight of his mistakes.
“Fucking goddammit, Yoongi!”
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Y/N set the plates on the table, pouring the hot water into a kettle of green tea as he joined her at the table. They exchanged smiles, the morning sun casting a warm glow over the kitchen and the windows providing a magnificent view of the sea.
“I’ve been thinking, -” she said with a smile on her face while she set the seaweed salad down in front of him. He hummed in response, reading today’s paper.
“About opening my own practice.” He nodded, sipping his tea thoughtfully.
“Thought you wanted to wait until the babe arrives?”
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat at his words, her mind spinning with confusion. A baby? What baby was he talking about? Her mouth seemed to work without the help of her mind. As if she was a mere observer, not the main character.
“I know. I know. But I can’t shake the feeling that now is the right time. I want to create something for myself too. Daddy's successful, why shouldn’t Mommy be successful too?”
Lifting his eyes from the paper, he reached across the table, his touch gentle as he took her hand.
“Opening a practice is a big step, especially with a baby on the way.”
She knew this was going to be hard, but she was determined to build herself a name too. And help those who can’t help themselves.
But as she looked into his eyes, she noticed a subtle yet unmistakable change. A faint scar marred his eye, tracing from above his eyebrow to his cheekbone. Y/N was certain it wasn’t there before.
“How are you feeling? Can you feel the babe moving?” he asked, his eyes softening with concern as he gently brushed his hand against her stomach. Y/N gulped down, trying to shush all the thoughts that echoed in her mind.
“He’s been active today,” she replied, her voice trembling slightly as she placed her hand on her growing stomach, feeling the gentle flutter of movement beneath her palm. “I think he’s just as eager to be with his Daddy as I am.”
The man’s eyes widened with surprise at her words, his expression softening with emotion as he took in the sight of her. And in that moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon and painted the room with hues of pink and gold, Y/N felt a sense of peace wash over her.
She cradled her swollen belly with tenderness, feeling the gentle flutter of life within. The promise of new beginnings and the joy of impending motherhood enveloped her in a cocoon of love and warmth.
But she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of her stomach. Something doesn’t feel right, and she can’t help but wonder what he’s hiding.
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The door slammed wide open, Seokjin’s voice was soar, his breathing frantic from running. His expression grave as he took in the scene before him.
Seokjin wasted no time, his training kicking in as he rushed to Y/N’s side, his hands moving with practised efficiency as he assessed her injuries. Yoongi watched in silent desperation, his heart pounding in his chest as he prayed for Seokjin to work his magic and save the woman he loved.
“You have to save her, Seokjin-hyung,-” Seokjin never saw Yoongi in a condition like this since his parents died and never thought he would ever again.
“She would lose too much blood if we attempted to transport her now, but I need my shit, Yoongi,” his tone was urgent and commanding as he took charge of the situation. “Get me my briefcase, hot water and towels, -”
As Seokjin worked to staunch the flow of blood, Yoongi hovered nearby, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s face as he whispered words of encouragement and prayer. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, of facing a future without her by his side.
“Yoongi, snap out of it and get it! I left it in the sunroom,” Seokjin left in hurry once a distant cry of his leader echoed at the first floor. He was sure that everyone outside of the celebrating banquet room heard it.
Yoongi nodded in a mixture of desperation and determination, scrambling to his feet as he absorbed Seokjin’s instructions. His mind raced as he mentally registered each item Seokjin urgently needed. In the tumultuous atmosphere, Yoongi rushed out of the room, his steps echoing in the corridor as he desperately sought the necessary supplies.
“What happened Yoongi?” Hoseok rose from his seat in the sunroom walking towards the dishevelled state of his friend. Yoongi did not even register him as he frantically searched for Seokjin’s briefcase. Reaching out to get it with his bloodied hands his ears miffily caught the younger Miss Wang’s anxious voice.
“Whose blood it is, Kkangpae Min?”
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She couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that something was amiss. The scar on his eye screamed volumes to her, yet her mind could not put things together and decipher what it wanted to tell her and why she does not recall that her husband had a scar like that. Where would a businessman come to get hurt this way? She couldn’t shake the feeling that her husband’s explanation didn’t quite add up. She stared at the scar on his face, her thoughts swirling with confusion and doubt.
“What do you mean, baby? I’ve always had it.” Said he, setting down the hat from his head, running his finger through the dark locks, pushing them back from his face.
But try as she might, she couldn’t recall ever seeing that scar before. It wasn’t just a minor detail that had slipped her mind—it was as if her memory had been rewritten, leaving her with a sense of disorientation and unease.
“Always?” she echoed, her voice barely a whisper as she struggled to comprehend what he was saying. Following him to his office where he lifted the briefcase to put it on the table while she slumped down next to the unlit fireplace.
“I don’t understand,” she murmured, her eyes fixed on the scar as if searching for answers.
He reached out, gently taking her hand in his, his touch a comforting anchor in the midst of her confusion, and she did not understand why the scar evokes so many feelings inside her, yet his touch calms her.
“You traced it with your fingers when we first made love, baby, I can assure it has been there for a very long time.” She tried to grasp onto the fragments of memory, to recall the moment he spoke of, but it eluded her like a fading dream.
“I want to remember,” she whispered, her voice barely audible above the tumult of her thoughts, “it feels so... significant.”
“Memories can be elusive, maybe it’s because of the accident?” he murmured, his voice soothing.
“An accident?”
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“You are fucking lucky she did it with a stupid letter opener, it seems like it did not manage to do as big of a damage as a regular knife would.”
His brow furrowed with concentration, his hands moving with practised precision as he worked to staunch the flow of blood and assess the extent of her injuries.
“She scraped over her artery, not much but enough to slow the blood flow to her brain. I need to close the wound as soon as possible.”
Seokjin’s words hit Yoongi like a physical blow, sending a shiver of fear down his spine. The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on him as he realised the severity of Y/N’s injuries. The thought of her life hanging in the balance sent a wave of panic coursing through him, but he forced himself to focus, to push aside his fear and uncertainty.
“She did not reach her windpipe, nor did she cut herself deep enough, thank God for that Yoongi.”
He never fell out of God’s grace, and he hoped he wouldn't do so now. His hand intertwined with hers as he whispered words of love and hope into the stillness of the room. Minutes felt like hours as the doctor carefully disinfected the wound to reduce the risk of infection. The stitches are precise.
“Why is she not awake, Seokjin?” He asked carefully, awaiting the worst. Seokjin’s expression softened briefly as he glanced up from his work, meeting Yoongi’s anxious gaze with empathy in his eyes.
“She lost quite some blood, Yoongi.”
“I understand-,” Yoongi murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he squeezed Y/N’s hand tighter, as if to anchor her to this world. “But she’s strong, Seokjin-hyung. She’ll pull through this, right?” Seokjin offered a small nod of agreement, his eyes reflecting a mixture of empathy and determination. If only he had been more attentive, more willing to listen and understand, perhaps they wouldn’t be facing this crisis now.
“I should have done more,” Yoongi murmured, his voice heavy with remorse.
“You know, this would probably never happen if you would let me ease her mind in the beginning.”
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The warm water cascaded over their bodies. He was holding her and her naked body in a tight embrace. The flickering candlelight casting a soft glow upon their entwined forms.
His hands roamed over Y/N’s skin, she arched her back in response, a soft moan escaping her lips as he trailed kisses along her neck, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His touch sends shivers of pleasure coursing through her veins.
She moaned softly against his lips as he teased her, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her whole body. Y/N reached between them, her hand finding his manhood, firm and ready for her touch. She grasped him firmly, feeling his arousal pulse beneath her fingertips.
“Fuck, love, —” he moaned loudly, a raw expression of his pleasure and desire as she brought him closer to the edge. She followed the rhythm he settled for, stroking his manhood.
Y/N first felt the warm stream of his ejaculation before she heard his throaty moan of her name and then she could feel his fingers deeper in her than before, moving faster until she saw the stars too.
So, is this how love feels?
Her fingers slowly traced the faded scar from a wound on her neck she couldn’t quite remember when it appeared on her body nor how it came to that. Closing her eyes, trying to recall and dig up any memory that would help her and ease her confusion turned out unfruitful.
“Good night, Dove-” Her eyes snapped open hearing his voice. She felt his lips press into her cheek, one hand caressing her belly. Y/N’s lenses took in the change of surroundings. She’s in bed that feels like home as if she was sleeping in it for years. Clutching the silk duvet she looked at him. The scar is still present on his face, calling to her. He looked so calm, at peace, falling asleep with a smile on his face.
Dove. The word echoed in her mind, stirring up fragmented memories that danced just beyond her reach. It was a name she couldn’t recall ever being called before, yet it felt right, as if it belonged to her in ways she couldn’t comprehend.
Everything around her felt right yet so wrong at the same time. The soft crackling of fire, soft wind blowing outside and the symphony the crickets created. It was nighttime. A day went by, and she could not remember what she was doing for all the hours after breakfast.
Her hands slipped down to caress her belly with a stranger inside. Her hand slowly moved to cover his. Holding it felt somehow right, even though her mind was saying otherwise. The only thing that was wrong yet felt right was her helplessness, her indecisiveness, her unawareness. She was a prisoner of her mind and her body. This life felt surreal, sweet, and endearing, musing to her to live it without doubt. But doubts she had. Is this what her mind thought life would be? The more she thought about it, the more she felt like this projection is what her sound heart and mind longed for. This is what she wanted.
Love, happiness, and-
“Why do you call me that?” She asked suddenly, leaving her mind to speak to him. His eyes fluttered open to lovingly gaze at her. He pulled his hand from under hers, gently took it to intertwine their fingers together.
“What do you mean?” with a gentle smile playing on his lips, he whispered. The flickering firelight danced across their intertwined hands, casting shadows that seemed to whisper untold stories and shared moments.
“Why do you call me Dove?” She searched his eyes for answers.
“Because you brought peace to my heart, -”
“-and my world.”
His gaze held hers, a depth of emotion swirling within those familiar eyes that she couldn’t quite place. The doubts and uncertainties that had clouded her mind seemed to fade away, replaced by a deep sense of trust and acceptance. At least, for now.
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“Are you satisfied now? Hm?” The widow’s steps and words were aimed at the man she loathes. Her brother is laying at the sanitorium’s metal beds, a fractured skull and internal bleeding to be treated. They fear he might have been admitted far too late as Doctor Kim’s priority was the lady of the house.
They are to relieve pressure on the brain caused by the fractured skull and to stop the internal bleeding. They did not tell his older sister anything else. It was a horrific picture of her brother’s head being immobilised to prevent further injury, a trepanation has been done to prevent severe head trauma, his face swollen from all the hits he took from his leader. All for the Kkangpae’s selfish act of desire for his loved one to obey.
She stopped in front of the man whose face was puffy and eyes bright red from all the tears he shredded for his loved one. Now he cries. Daiyu’s mind could not understand the notorious man Min Yoongi is. Nor any of the men of Min Clan. Their women are weeping, yet the reason is not what they assume it is. They weep because of them. Because of the pain they brought upon them. The pain they’ll never admit that ever was there.
“You ruined us all, Yoongi.” No honorific for a man that has done so much damage to her family. He stood there without looking her in the eye and quietly apologising for his doings.
“Missus Park,-” he attempted to raise his voice above the line so she could hear him.
“My mother gave me up to your clan during the first war and after years I made my peace with that, -” he listened to her, standing there like he was the victim.
“Yet you were cocky enough to ask for more?” Her words are laced with bitterness and anger, fuelled by the injustice she feels at the hands of the Min Clan. She vows to never forgive him for the harm he has wrought.
“And yet again my mother gave up Y/N too. But that’s not quite right, hm?” The widow’s heart remains hardened, her anger burning bright as she refuses to grant him absolution for his sins.
“You think you and the rest of your hooligans are clever? Abducting women and forcing them to elope.” A heavy silence descends upon the room, broken only by the muffled sounds of distant footsteps echoing through the hotel corridor. Yoongi is letting her relieve her anger on him. He deserves it.
“Missus Park, I think you’d rather be at your brother’s side, don’t you think?” A smooth low voice echoes right beside her. She turned slowly to face the source, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. Standing there, with an air of quiet confidence, was a man she recognized all too well – Kim Taehyung, a trusted associate of the Min Clan.
“You.” She said with venom in her voice. Her lips tightened into a thin line as she regarded him, his presence only adding to the tension in the room. She knew all too well the power and influence he wielded, and she braced herself for whatever he had to say.
“Hyung, go inside, she might wake up any moment now. She’s been through a lot; you should make sure she’s taken care of-”
“How dare you say that!” Daiyu’s voice got an octave higher when she accused the consigliere.
“This is not the time or place for your interference, Missus Park.” Taehyung said, his voice calm but tinged with a hint of warning.
“We all have been through a lot because of you!”
“What on earth you did to make Xiaoli love you so blindly, -” Taehyung’s lips curved into a faint smirk, but there was a hardness in his eyes that belied his demeanour. He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving hers. But she refused to be intimidated. She knew that Taehyung’s influence over Xiaoli was a dangerous one and her mind was bothered numerous times.
“Your mother was not as smart as the clans perceived her after all.” The widow’s jaw clenched with anger as Kim Taehyung’s words cut through the air.
“You dare speak of my mother?” she spat, her voice trembling with fury. “You and your ilk have no right to claim any semblance of intelligence. You prey on the vulnerable and the innocent, twisting their minds and hearts to serve your own selfish desires-”
“The nature of our private affairs are not something you have the right to be noisy about, Missus Park.” His tone dripped with disdain as he stared at the widow with cold indifference. Daiyu’s fists clenched at her sides, her nails digging into her palms as she struggled to contain her anger.
“You and your clan have caused nothing but pain and suffering, and yet you have the audacity to stand here and lecture me about privacy?”
Taehyung’s smirk widened; his eyes gleaming with amusement at her outburst. He took another step closer, invading her personal space with an air of arrogance that made her skin crawl.
“We operate by our own rules, Missus Park,” he said, his voice low and menacing. “And if you value your brother’s life, you will do well to remember that.”
“This is far from being over. Once my brother recovers, I’m taking them both and Xiaoli to America.”
“Is that so?” he replied, his tone laced with scepticism. Taehyung’s expression darkened at her words, his jaw tightening with barely concealed rage. For a moment, it seemed as though he might lash out in anger, but then he seemed to regain control of himself, his features smoothing into a mask of icy calm.
“You’re welcome to take your brother and go to the far far land but my fiancé and Buin will stay put, end of the discussion, Missus Park. Or do I need to take any precautions — how’s your son?”
She knew all too well the lengths to which the Min Clan would go to protect their interests, and the thought of her son being caught in the crossfire filled her with a sense of dread.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she spat, her voice trembling with a mixture of anger and fear. “You wouldn’t lay a hand on my son.”
“Oh, of course not, we’re not child-killers, Missus Park. But you wouldn’t want me to make sure they take him away as you’re clearly unstable to raise a child.” Taehyung’s smirk returned, his eyes glinting with malice as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against her ear.
“You all are fucking monsters.” She spit his way and with a flick of fear in her eyes she turns away to storm down the hallways back to the waiting car that will take her to the sanitorium.
The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows on the walls, lending an eerie atmosphere to the hushed conversation that unfolded.
Yoongi’s brow furrowed with concern as he glanced at Y/N, her delicate features softened in sleep. He was holding her small hand in his large one, refusing to leave her side.
“Hyung, do you think she could be pregnant?” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, mindful of the gravity of their discussion. Seokjin and Namjoon exchanged a solemn glance, their expressions reflecting the weight of Yoongi’s question.
The older man did not want his brother to be in more pain than he already is.
“It’s certainly possible, —” Seokjin replied softly, his gaze shifting to Y/N’s still form.
“—yet, it’s way too soon to tell.” Namjoon nodded in agreement, his eyes lingering on Y/N with a mixture of concern and hope.
“Her health and recovery must remain our primary focus.”
A sense of apprehension settled over Yoongi as the reality of their situation sank in. The prospect of impending fatherhood filled him with both excitement and trepidation. His hand possessively slipped under the duvet, caressing her belly with a tender touch. Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her hand, a silent vow of love and protection that lingered in the quiet of the room.
He was determined to never fail her again.
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Y/N found herself drifting into a state of peaceful slumber, the gentle rhythm of his breathing lulling her into a sense of security she hadn’t known before. A feeling that was for a long time foreign.
Yet, even as sleep beckoned her towards its welcoming arms, a nagging sense of unease lingered at the edge of her consciousness. It was as though a faint whisper echoed through the chambers of her mind.
Images flickered in the darkness, fleeting glimpses of faces and places she couldn’t quite place. It was like trying to catch hold of smoke, the harder she tried to grasp onto them, the more they slipped through her fingers.
And then, amidst the chaos of her mind, a single image emerged from the depths of her subconscious—a flash of silver amidst the darkness, a glimmer of recognition that sent a jolt of electricity coursing through her veins.
As Y/N’s dreams began to swirl with fragments of memories she herself did not recognise, she found herself waking with a start, the remnants of a haunting nightmare still lingering in her mind. The boundaries between reality and illusion blurring in the hazy mist of slumber. Beside her, the man stirred, his gaze filled with concern as he noticed the tension in her features.
“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice soft yet filled with a quiet intensity that spoke volumes.
“It was just a bad dream-” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, his expression understanding as he reached out to gently brush away the stray strands of hair that clung to her face. “Nightmares are just the mind’s way of processing the chaos of the world,” he said, his words carrying a weight of wisdom born from years of introspection. “-the unwanted reality we dare not to accept,” he slowly caressed her cheek.
“Sometimes, facing our fears head-on is the only way to conquer them.”
“I know,” she replied, her voice steady despite the lingering unease that gnawed at the edges of her consciousness. “It feels like the nightmares are trying to tell me something, -”
“Perhaps they are,” he said, his tone tinged with a hint of curiosity.
“What do you mean?” She asked, shrinking her eyebrows.
“Wake up, little Dove.”
“I don’t want to wake up, Yoongi. I’m wide awake.” Her words proceeded her mind once she uttered them.
Yoongi. Only now she realised that she never uttered his name out loud this whole time. His name is Yoongi. She recognises him now, but this man is not the one she married.
This man is the one the other will never be.
“Are you?”
The warmth of the bed was replaced by the sterile chill of a sanitised room, the soft breathing beside her now replaced by the distant sound of metal clinking against itself.
Her eyes fluttered open to meet the gaze of Seokjin, the doctor who had been overseeing her treatment. There was a sombreness in his eyes, a depth of understanding that spoke of the gravity of the situation.
Her initial reaction wasn’t one of shock or panic but rather a stoic silence whilst she looked around the room. Just yet. That was giving the young doctor a hunch that her mind is stronger than anyone ever thought it is.
“Y/N,-” he began, his voice gentle yet firm. He carefully placed the file he was holding in his hand back to the nightstand next to the bed. Seokjin didn’t want to trigger her. He needed her to be as calm as possible.
“What did you do to me?” A hoarse broken voice laced with pain echoed in the room. It was barely heard and the immense pain on the side of her throat got her head spinning. The sight of Yoongi’s rage-filled eyes flooded back to her mind, the desperation of her attempt to protect Kai from his wrath. She instinctively reached up to touch the bandages that now adorned her neck, wincing.
“You mean, what did you do to yourself?” he replied softly, his words heavy with implication.
Y/N felt a wave of nausea wash over her as the reality of her actions sunk in. The realisation that she had tried to take her own life filled her with a sense of profound despair.
“I didn’t mean to,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “There was no stopping him. He would have—” it was hard to swallow, it was harder to breathe, painful to speak and just like countless times before, it was harder to see through the tears.
“Is Kai alive?” she choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. Seokjin met her gaze with a solemn nod, Y/N felt a sliver of hope pierce through the darkness that had consumed her. Perhaps, amidst the chaos, there was still a chance for redemption, for healing.
“He’s going to make a full recovery in a few weeks,” he said softly, his words a balm to her wounded spirit.
“But you need to heal too—”
Tears welled in her eyes as she nodded in silent agreement, the weight of her own pain pressing down upon her like a burden too heavy to bear.
“Little birdie sang that you promised to make a snowman with a certain little man.” The little boy was a reminder of the love and happiness that still existed in her life despite the darkness that surrounded her.
“Can I sleep some more?”
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Before she managed to drift back to sleep, Seokjin quietly went about checking her vitals, his experienced hands moving with precision as he monitored her condition. With a deep sigh, he made a mental note to bring her iron pills to help replenish the blood she had lost. Looking at her bandaged neck, he couldn’t shake the feeling that her academic background would totally exclude the possibility that this petite woman wouldn’t know how to kill herself with that one swipe of a letter opener if she aimed correctly. And that made Seokjin suspicious of the young Buin’s intentions and endorsed him into believing that after all, the girl still has some fire to burn and will to live. She just needed good guidance, he thought.
“How is she?” The Kkangpae rushed to approach him once he closed the door to his office. It was very hard to convince him to leave her side. She was asleep for a while and Seokjin did not advise on waking her up anytime soon until she woke up herself. With conflicting emotions, he turned to face his dishevelled form.
“She wants to sleep some more, otherwise she’s stable, but—” Seokjin replied, his voice tinged with weariness.
“—she’s lost a significant amount of blood so I’m going to have her take iron pills—”
The Kkangpae’s brow furrowed in worry, his gaze flickering back to the closed door behind Seokjin.
“I want to see her,” he said, his voice tinged with desperation when he interrupted his Hyung.
Seokjin hesitated for a moment, weighing the risks of disturbing Y/N’s rest against the Kkangpae’s obvious concern. Ultimately, he decided to trust his instincts.
“We need to talk first, Yoongi.” Seokjin said firmly. The Kkangpae nodded reluctantly, his shoulders slumping with defeat. Not happy with Seokjin’s stalling. Nonetheless, Seokjin could sense the tension radiating off him, the weight of guilt and fear pressing down on his shoulders.
“You pushed her way too far, Yoongi—” the doctor begins, slumping down to the low cushion sofa looking at the faded yet evident scraped puddle of blood on the wooden floor.
“I want you to consider me helping her.”
Yoongi’s blood ran cold at the mention of such a drastic measure to be taken. He knew of the doctor practising such methods and he knew of them being successful once two living and walking examples were among them.
“We’ve talked about this Seokjin, and I declined your offer. She doesn’t need it.”
Seokjin’s gaze hardened, his eyes locking onto Yoongi's with unwavering intensity.
“Are you ever going to accept the truth Yoongi? She is suffering here!” Yoongi’s jaw tightened; his fists clenched at his sides as he fought to control the rising tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He knew that Seokjin was right. But he was also still the selfish man he was before.
“She’s my responsibility, Seokjin,” Yoongi said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll find another way to help her. I won’t let you do this to her unless it will be absolutely necessary.”
Seokjin’s expression softened, a flicker of empathy shining in his eyes as he reached out to place a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. “I know you love her, Yoongi,” he said gently. “But sometimes, loving means making difficult decisions for the greater good.”
Yoongi couldn’t continue to bury his head in the sand, hoping that Y/N’s pain and suffering would simply disappear on its own and perhaps the moment she heals she’ll be capable of falling in love with him just like he did.
“Just how long can you go without your love being reciprocated?”
Seokjin’s question echoed in Yoongi’s mind, a painful reminder of the unrequited love that had tormented him for so long.
He couldn’t bear the thought of robbing her of her identity, of erasing the very essence of who she was. The essence he loved her for. But now, faced with the prospect of losing her altogether, Yoongi couldn’t bear the thought of erasing the very qualities that had drawn him to her in the first place. He loved her for her fire, for the strength and passion that burned within her.
He wanted to keep her flame alive.
How ironic, isn’t it?
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Waking up again felt even worse than the first time. The dizziness remained and a strong feeling of fatigue only reminded her of what she had called upon herself. The bed seemed to mock her with its warmth, the pillow unyielding beneath her. It was a bit firmer for some reason and a heartbeat echoed in her ears.
Her hand went up the sheets until another hand fell upon hers. The bed was not warmer, the pillow was not firmer and the heartbeat she hears isn’t hers. The fingers, adorned with cold metal rings that now laid on top of her smaller hand squeezed hers in firmer grip. What was supposed to be a comforting touch seemed like shackles to Y/N.
Y/N gulped down, trying to not slap his hand right away just like she wanted to. The pit in her stomach was larger and larger. She did not know what to expect from him. Is he going to punish her? Is he mad? Does he have the right to be mad? Of course not. But for what is to come, Y/N would rather him mad and angry.
“I am so sorry, little Dove.”
His voice shattered her thoughts and Y/N’s eyes stayed wide open, just staring up front. He was holding her laying form on his chest and she could feel his other hand caressing her back. He held her way too close, as if trying to mend what he had broken with his other hand.
“I thought I was going lose you,” he choked out, confessing, his grip tightening. She pulled away with swift movement, sitting up to confront him and look down on his half laying form.
“You’ve almost killed him, and the only remorse you feel is for me?!”
Her weak voice trembled with a mixture of anger and disbelief, her eyes flashing with hurt as she confronted him. Her vocal cords were not as damaged, yet her throat was too sore for her voice to be heard fully. The weight of his actions hung heavy in the air, suffocating the space between them. Guilt etching lines on his face as he met her accusing gaze. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words seemed to catch in his throat.
“The words you said before, back home, got to me, and I lost control. I did not mean for any of this, Dove. I am genuinely sorry,” he finally managed to utter, his voice thick with regret. His eyes pleaded for her understanding, begging for forgiveness in the face of his unforgivable mistake.
Despite the hurt and betrayal, she felt a small part of her longed to believe him, to believe that he was capable of change. But she knew very well that the Yoongi starring in her dreams is a completely different man. The scars of his actions ran deep, leaving behind wounds that could not be easily healed.
“You crushed his skull, Yoongi,” she said with a stone-cold anger, her voice laced with an icy fury that sent shivers down his spine. He messed up.
“And I shall do everything to redeem myself. I love you, baby-” He knew he had to make things right, to earn back her trust and repair the damage he had done. How could he earn something back if it was never there?
“You don’t love me, Yoongi. You love the idea of having me under your control!” Each syllable drips with bitterness and resentment. He lifted himself on his elbows to look closer to her teary eyes. They reflected so much pain and sorrow.
“You know that’s not true. I’ll do anything for you.” He insisted, his voice trembling with sincerity as he reached out to gently wipe away her tears whence she slapped his hand off.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” she spat, her voice sharp with venom. She stood up, putting distance between them, but he refused to let her go. The weight of his actions had left her wounded, her trust shattered beyond repair. She could no longer bear the false promises and empty gestures that had become their relationship.
“Did I have to reach the edge of despair for you to wake up?” Her words cut through the silence, echoing with the pain of her betrayal.
“I was scared of losing you,” His voice trailed off, the weight of her accusation hitting him like a ton of bricks. He struggled to find the right words to express the depth of his fear and regret, knowing that no apology could ever fully erase the pain he had caused.
“You never had me to begin with.” She said, her voice filled with finality. But he wouldn’t accept it. The ancient melody, the notes that echoed in the silence, screamed, full of wounds that will never heal.
“Promise me you’ll never do that again, love. Hurt me, not yourself.” He pleaded again trying to reach her, his voice breaking with emotion as he reached out to grasp her trembling hands, hoping against hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him, to give their love another chance. He cannot let her words get to him again.
“Again?!-” she retorted, her voice laced with disbelief and incredulity. She wondered if he’s even worthy of her pretending. Her hands went to hit his chest, pushing him away from her.
“-You think there’s going to be fucking again, Yoongi?!” Her words were sharp, cutting through the air with the finality of a verdict. A flying cup shattered right next to his head. He did not even register when she took it into her hands and threw it at him, missing him just by a few inches.
“I’ll do anything to have you by my side. Dove, I beg you.” Min Yoongi pleaded, his voice breaking again. On his knees, Min Yoongi bowed his head in remorse.
“You’ll never change, Yoongi.” The weight of disappointment was evident in her words as she turned away, unable to bear the sight of him at that moment. But the selfish side of Min Yoongi wouldn’t let her do that.
He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her close, not leaving an inch between them.
“I can’t fucking live without you-” his voice cracked, raw with desperation and longing, tears welled up in his eyes, begging for her to understand the depth of his love.
“-without those arms,” he continued, his voice softening with the memories of their intimacy.
“-full cheeks-”
“-lips,” he whispered, each word a plea for her to see the love and longing in his eyes.
“Yoongi, I cannot do this anymore.”
Yoongi felt his heart drop like a heavy weight in his chest. He collapsed onto his knees before her, his arms wrapping desperately around her delicate frame.
“I’m so tired of the pain in my chest,” she admitted, her voice trembling with vulnerability.
He had pushed her too far, hurt her too deeply, and now he stood on the precipice of losing her forever.
“I was ready to die—”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Dove” he whispered, his voice barely audible above the tumult of emotions raging inside him. Y/N glanced at his trembling hands and thought about his words for a second. Contemplating his sincerity.
It was his eyes this time that cried. The endearment sounds different coming from this version of Yoongi. It felt so distant from the Yoongi she had once met in her dreams. The man he’ll never be.
“I can make it better. Just let me in and I’ll show you how happy we can be.” Min Yoongi promised, his eyes filled with sincerity. He’s haunted by the knowledge that he just might have let the love of his life slip through his fingers.
“You’re really that delusional, aren’t you?” Y/N questioned; her voice laced with disbelief.
“Aren’t we all? -” Min Yoongi replied, his voice tinged with resignation. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. Please, give me another chance.”
Y/N remained silent; her expression guarded as she wrestled with her own emotions. Her mind swirled with thoughts and even when she tried to say something, an inaudible cry of frustration, sadness and anger was heard.
Min Yoongi slumped down to his knees, holding her small hands in his. Looking at her with hope in his eyes.
“I beg you.” He pleaded once more for her forgiveness. His eyes searched hers, hoping to find even the smallest glimmer of something that would tell him that he’ll manage to woo her right this time.
If she could walk away, she would do it right now. But this isn’t her que to leave the scene. Just not yet. Be patient.
“Your beloved God shall decide upon your fate, Yoongi-”
“Upon the fate of us,” she continued to preach.
“What do you—”
“Should God spare his life, I’ll consider forgiving you,” she interrupted, her voice firm.
“Then let it be so,” he said, his voice filled with determination and hope.
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Y/N was clutching the delicate cup of tea in her hands whilst her eyes remained fixed on the outside surroundings of the hotel. Riling herself up was something she was told to seize. Yet, there she stands, ready to run outside any minute.
“He’s trying, you know,” Xiaoli said softly, following Y/N’s gaze. “In his own way, he’s trying to make things right.”
The sight was both heart-warming and heartbreaking, a glimpse of the man he used to be and the man he could still be.
“Well, he certainly knows how to evoke emotional damage.” Y/N sighed, her eyes lingering on Yoongi’s figure adorned in a warm coat. His hands were covered with leather gloves that protected him from the frostbiting cold snow.
“People can heal.”
“Some wounds run too deep to heal completely,” Y/N glanced at Xiaoli, her eyes searching for understanding that she will most likely never find.
“Love has a way of healing even the deepest wounds-” Xiaoli reached out, placing a comforting hand on Y/N’s arm. Y/N scoffed, her eyes never leaving the Kkangpae and her little brother Bo Cheng. Building a snowman. It was a picture of normalcy; his current actions were mocking the magnitude of his power and acts he performed to obtain it.
Min Yoongi was on top of the world. One day, the prime minister of Japan expresses his gratitude for clearing the Yakuza clan and unburdening the country, the other, he’s powerless when the woman he chose to be his companion throughout life, and what’s after, paints the floor red with her own blood.
“Relax, Y/N Buin.” The other voice echoed from the other side of the room. She was clutching the cup way too tightly, making her knuckles go white. She hated when people called her Buin. It did not evoke power in Y/N, rather the opposite. It was a reminder that she is the lady of this clan because Yoongi forced her into this position.
The room felt heavy with tension, each word from Xiaoli pulling at the raw edges of her emotions. The far away sound of Bo Cheng’s laughter when he threw a large snowball Yoongi’s way.
“You did not see him that day,” Y/N finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, filled with pain and regret.
“The darkness in him consumed him.”
“I saw him after that—”
“-He’s trying to make amends now,” Xiaoli said gently, her hand tightening around Y/N’s.
“I wish I could believe that he’s capable of change, Xiaoli.” The rustle of newspaper reminded her of the other presence in the room. The consigliere silently worked at the table, overviewing contracts Y/N daren’t deem anything but legal. The other man present in the room was now folding the said newspapers, standing up and walking in the direction where Xiaoli and Y/N stood by the large window.
“Never in my entire fucking life I have thought that I will see Min fucking Yoongi build a snowman-” Hoseok spat out jokingly, his disbelief evident. There was even a hint of amusement in his eyes.
Y/N’s grip on the teacup relaxed slightly, but her gaze remained fixed on the scene outside the whole time.
“He just might be able to change, we all do-” he began, leaning down to her height level, admiring the velvet rose pins holding her hair in an updo.
“for lov—”
“Jiě jie! Have you seen the snowman we built?!” Y/N’s eyes brightened at the sound of Bo Cheng’s voice. The change in her expression was immediate.
Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yes, dear. It’s marvellous.”
Bo Cheng’s delighted laughter echoed across the snowy expanse as he ran back outside to Yoongi, pulling him towards their creation.
Hoseok, witnessing Y/N’s transformation, teased, “See? He’s not all bad. Look at how happy he makes your brother.”
“One snowman doesn’t erase the past, Hoseok.”
Hoseok laughed, conceding with a nod, “Fair enough, Y/N. Fair enough.”
“What about two?” Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. But the daunting feeling never left her as she watched him and her little brother.
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“Is he asleep?” She asked quietly, trying to restrain her voice as much as possible. The best was not to overload the muscles of her throat at all. She talks very little but thinks a lot. That certainly is not the best situation for someone like Y/N.
Her mind takes her to places. To those she visited and those she is yet to see. The “Yoongi” comes back to her in dreams from time to time, and Y/N’s mind cannot grapple with why it is happening so. What is the cosmos trying to show her?
“He is usually stubborn to go to sleep if it’s not for Ma reading him a story-” The younger sister began to rely upon her never-ending gratitude to her beloved leader. Safe to say, she shifted her loyalty without having to pledge it first.
“-thank you, Kkangpae Min, you’re marvellous with children.” Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Xiaoli. Not like she was cautious to not get caught doing so, Xiaoli did see her doing so, poking her elbow to express her gratitude to Yoongi too.
“What?” Y/N asked her. Xiaoli was easier to manipulate, easier to forget, and easier to forgive. Y/N wasn’t, she would let him feel the chasm in between them before she made her move to wrap him around her finger.
“Aren’t you grateful for such a caring husband?”
The loud silence echoed in the room, making everyone uncomfortable. Y/N closed her eyes and sighed very loudly. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“Xiaoli-” Y/N has begun only for Xiaoli to not let her speak.
“No, Y/N, he’s at least trying. You never did-” her younger sister interrupted her instantly. Y/N looked into Yoongi’s eyes, for the first time since he crossed the door threshold after he put Bo Cheng to bed. She did not know what she was looking for, yet she expected him to speak up.
“Xiaoli-” she attempted again but this time it was Yoongi who interrupted her.
“Mrs. Wang, I appreciate your concern, but me and Y/N shall resolve our marital issues without your guidance.”
Yoongi’s voice was calm, but there was a firmness to it that made the room go still. Xiaoli’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by his assertiveness. Y/N’s gaze locked onto his again, searching for a hint of what he was thinking. She raised her brows at his diplomatic words to her sister.
Not wanting to admit it, Y/N enjoyed the guilt in Xiaoli’s eyes. Yet it was Yoongi she apologised to and not her.
“Well, I would say that is our cue to leave those two alone, love,” Taehyung murmured all the way from across the office where he was still seated. The room was quiet enough that everyone heard him.
“I meant well.” Was the last thing Y/N heard before Xiaoli and Taehyung got too far away for them to hear anything.
Yoongi took a deep breath, breaking the silence.
“She can be a lot, the sister of yours.”
Y/N chuckled softly, wiping away a stray tear. They sat down by the fireplace.
They always do. He reached out, taking her hand.
“How was your day?” He said gently. For the past week, she wasn’t avoiding him - she was avoiding the talks he wished to have with her to reconcile.
“Jimin told me you went to visit Kai today.”
Y/N’s eyes widened momentarily before she looked away, her grip tightening around the fabric of her dress. Yoongi’s thumb gently stroked the back of her hand, a gesture meant to be comforting, but it only intensified the whirlwind of emotions inside her.
“Seokjin says he is getting better slowly.” She hesitated to talk, biting her lip. Kai was a sore subject between them, yet Yoongi realised that’s where his only chance of a life with her lay. He agreed upon her terms of forgiving him, seizing any opportunity to keep her by his side.
“And so do you, but I would love to hear that from you, Dove.”
“It still pains me to talk, and I get dizzy if I stand for too long.” Yoongi’s heart ached as he heard her soft confession. He knew all too well what her condition was and that he was the sole reason for it.
There wasn’t a day, an hour where he did not think about what he could have done differently with her. Maybe if he told her the truth at the very beginning, she’d let him woo her. But he’ll never know that. The damage was done, and he’ll have to build their relationship from scratch.
Yoongi hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching Y/N’s face for any sign of pain or discomfort.
“I’m sorry, Dove,” he whispered, his voice filled with regret. “I hate seeing you like this.”
Y/N gave him a weak smile. It wasn’t a warm smile, it was not genuine, and it certainly did not reflect the emotion Y/N was holding in.
“Then why lead me to this state?” Yoongi’s eyes filled with guilt, his grip on her hand tightening. For the first time, Yoongi rethought all the decisions he had made since he settled his eyes on her. There wasn’t a day he did not think about what would be different if he would’ve been honest with her. Would she fall in love with him?
“We don’t have time for that, Hyung.” The voice of his right-hand man echoed in his mind. He listened to him, and here they are. Broken.
“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Dove—” Yoongi’s tears threatened to fall as he watched the woman he loved struggle with the pain he had caused.
“And that there is way too much damage done, but I burn for you, and I always will.” She only listened to him, there was no need to answer.
“I will wait for you until you are ready.”
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“We had a deal.” Her eyes slowly flattered open upon hearing his low baritone voice. She gulped down carefully, wincing at the still evident pain in her throat. She squinted her eyes at the change of lighting. She was wondering whether he would pay her visit. Several weeks passed and here he is. Kim Namjoon in his full glory, ready to get on her nerves.
“Where’s Yoongi?” Looking at the empty side of the bed she asked, not minding his words. He sneaked late in the night, thinking she was dead asleep and left her room too early in the morning. She has let him do that. It will only help her in the future.
“We had a deal,” Namjoon repeated, his voice firm and unwavering as he was seated in the armchair next to her bed, his gaze fixed on her with a mixture of concern and disappointment.
“And we still have a deal, don’t we?” She asked rather mockingly, her tone laced with sarcasm, pulling herself up to sit on the bed. Her eyes still not used to the lighting she blindly reached to a glass of water that was on the nightstand to ease her throat of the uncomfortable dryness burning inside.
“You attempted to kill yourself. I’d count that as violating our deal,” he stated bluntly. Y/N’s jaw clenched as she listened to Namjoon's accusation, a surge of defensiveness rising within her. The man and his tactics irked her.
She knew she had pushed the boundaries of their agreement, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. Not to him at least.
“It was a moment of weakness, okay? I’ve had enough at that point.” Namjoon’s gaze remained steady, unmoved by her protestations. As if he saw right through her.
“Do you want us to throw you into a mental house? Is that what you’re trying to do?”
Y/N’s grip tightened around the glass of water as she fought to control the rising tide of anger within her.
“You all would have to throw yourself in first.”
She refused to back down, refused to let him belittle her struggles or dictate her fate. Y/N’s grip tightened around the glass of water, her knuckles turning white with tension as she fought to control the rising tide of anger within her. Namjoon’s words felt like a slap in the face, a harsh reminder of her own vulnerability and the consequences of her actions.
He chuckled at her response. The sound grating on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard.
“As I said, it was a moment of weakness, there was no different means to stop him—”
“Maybe if you didn’t provoke him before, he wouldn’t do it, Y/N.”
“I did not provoke him. I did not ask for any of this,” she spat, her voice trembling with fury. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest as she glared at Namjoon. She wanted to throw the glass at him so badly.
“Yet here we are.”
“Here we are indeed,” she shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “And whose fault is that, Namjoon? Certainly not mine.”
Namjoon’s jaw tightened at her defiance, his gaze hardening as he met her eyes with unwavering intensity.
“You’re just like him, Y/N,” he muttered darkly. “Stubborn. Refusing to see reason. Refusing to accept help. We had a deal goddammit—”
“With all due respect, Namjoon. I do not trust you nor your intentions to actually send me over to America once the time is up.” He had expected her defiance, but her lack of trust cut deeper than he cared to admit. He did not know why in detail. But it was for the greater good that the Buin and Kkangpae will be a power role model couple for their clan.
“You don’t trust me?” he repeated, his voice low and tinged with disbelief. Ridiculous. 
“Trust is earned, Namjoon,” she retorted, her voice unwavering despite the tremor in her heart. “And you haven't exactly given me a reason to trust you.” His frustration was simmering beneath the surface.
“Aight.” He said after some time of thinking.
“What do you want?” He asked, intrigued about what would make her trust him. Y/N’s gaze narrowed; her expression guarded as she considered Namjoon’s question.
“Assurances.”
“Name it.”
“I want Xiaoli, Kai, Daiyu and her son out of here. Somewhere overseas. Unharmed and not to be bothered again.” His expression conflicted as he weighed the implications of her request. The smirk on his face was still present.
“Xiaoli is betrothed to Taehyung, and she is so of her own volition. You yourself gave them your blessing, Buin.” Y/N’s tongue clicked unsatisfied with his words.
“Give her the courtesy and at least give her the chance to decide, without your influence.” He knew she had a point, even if he was reluctant to admit it. The power dynamics within their world were complex, and he had grown accustomed to wielding his influence with impunity. The holy seven always did so.
“Fine,” he conceded, his tone grudging. “I’ll make sure Xiaoli has a chance to make her own decisions. But you’re pushing your luck, Yoongi may not—,”
“He will agree.” She stated resolutely. Namjoon’s eyebrows rose slightly at Y/N’s bold assertion, surprised by her unwavering confidence.
“Very well,” Namjoon replied, his voice tinged with resignation. “I’ll speak to Yoongi and I’ll arrange for them to sail away once Kai is well enough to travel, but only if you promise to uphold your end of the deal and it’s new conditions”
“What conditions?” She asked, utterly confused. This was about him earning her trust. But of course, Kim Namjoon would somehow manage to manipulate his way through.
“Forgive him, Y/N. That’s what I’m asking for. It’s been weeks since Kai can stand on his own feet. Talk, walk, eat, everything. Why’d you still not uphold your side of the deal?”
A weighty silence enveloping the room as Y/N processed his words. The idea of forgiving Yoongi felt like an impossible task, a betrayal of everything she had endured at his hands. She could not find a word that would describe what she feels now.
“Holding onto anger and bitterness will only continue to weigh you down. Death would be redemption, yet you are still here, living and breathing by God’s will and doing.”
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I N T E R L O G U E
“When is he planning to do it?” She spoke softly, her words laced with urgency and caution.
“I don’t know-” she murmured, swallowing the lump in her throat. “But I can’t bear the thought of Bo Cheng witnessing such a horror.”
Daiyu’s eyes darted around the dimly lit corridor, wary of lurking shadows and prying ears.
“We must leave this place, Y/N,” she urged, her voice a breathless whisper.
“I can’t-” Y/N’s voice caught in her throat, her gaze dropping to the floor as a wave of despair washed over her.
“—not yet, at least.” Daiyu placed a gentle hand on Y/N’s shoulder.
“But you will-” Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to calm her racing heart. Daiyu’s gaze hardened.
“-And you’ll take Bo Cheng with you. Even Ma if we will be clever enough.”
“Xiaoli?” she inquired cautiously.
“Xiaoli doesn’t share our sentiments. Taking her against her will would make me no better than them.” Daiyu nodded, understanding the complexity of Y/N’s feelings towards Xiaoli.
“He won’t let us all go,” said Daiyu, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. In normal circumstances, he would never give a green pass to anyone from inside of their clan. Especially, to the closer circle. But the circumstances were not normal. And as he spoke himself numerous times at this point. He will do everything to keep her by his side.
“He will. If I promise to stay.”
“But that’s-”
“It’s not my time yet, Daiyu—” she interrupted her quickly.
“But it will come.”
.
.
.
.
.
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©pennyellee. please do not repost
author's note: this took me longer than I thought, mainly coz of life getting in my way, but nonetheless, chapter 8 is here. So far, this is the most I'm sceptical about chapter so yeah, nervous to put it out. Yoongi's got a taste of his own medicine to some degree and maybe finally he'll start to see things differently. Do you believe Yoongi can change for her? Hmm? We will see. Enjoy the chapter. Thank you for reading and continuing to read the story 𖦹 ☼ ⋆。˚⋆ฺ ♡
PS: I hope you don't hate Xiaoli entirely coz I have a filler one-shot mapped out in my head 𖦹 ☼ ⋆。˚⋆ฺ ♡
shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta another chapter!
Love you all!! ♥
Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥
keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction. Nor in this case, I'm a medical professional.
let's be friends chummers 🫧♡ ︎
lots of love, p.
PPS: accounts highlighted cannot be tagged, so if you want to be in the tag list, please make sure you have it allowed in your settings. 𖦹 ☼ ⋆。˚⋆ฺ ♡
tag list: @beautifulcloudfestival - @honsoolgloss - @jingerbreadoutofstock - @moscow778 - @januara26 - @dinosolecito - @yoongislatinagff - @xyahrinx - @hi12345567 - @nochuel - @deltamoon666 - @bbkissme99 - @darkuni63 - @nansasa - @sazsazsaz - @missmin - @strxwbloody - @royallyjjk - @jaiuneamesolitaiire - @shadowyjellyfishfest - @bbgniecyy - @elayne321 - @seojunandsoju - @bun-27 - @whipwhoops - @wobblewobble822 - @whofan88 - @haneyyyyyy - @lostgirlinthewoodss - @secfir - @btspurplesky - @elleflying07 - @pamzn - @megseungmin - @selenophileforlife - @idkjustlovingbts - @seonghwaexile
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joenotexotic99 · 7 months
Note
Hello Doll! New fan here! You're so precious! 🥰 we NEED pt 2 of BoB "Sleeping with them for the first time", my request: Speirs, Toye, Eugene, Webster, Buck. AND pls wrote more Lovetropes! I've read it so many times, that I can quote from memory! xoxo
A/n this might be dirtier than pt1. Will do a pt 2 of love tropes ofc. Lmk if you have some people in mind for that
<3
-this is a work of fiction based on the actors portrayal only. Every ounce of respect to the real heros-
Warning: NSFW, plain sinful smut. Lots of language. Minors dni
Masterlist
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Ronald Speirs
- this man will change your whole perspective of sex afterwards. You've both been pinning each other for a while and decide to go on a date. Yet the whole time you both have been practically removing each other's clothes with your eyes. Lingering touches, flirty behavior. Lets just say that you didn't quite make it through all the courses before Speirs asked for the check. You make it back to his place before he immediately kisses you. You start removing clothes while grabbing and feeling any skin you can both get your hands on. He turns you around to unzip your dress, taking it off your figure. He spun you back around to pick you up and set you down on the kitchen counter. You remove his belt and tug at his pants and boxers until the both of you are head to toe naked. He gives you a looks off 'are you sure' you nod yes before he lifts you legs up and fucks you. Praise after praise, surface after surface. It's a wild ride.
"Fuck you feel so good you know that princess?"
Joe toye
-he's sweet and spontaneous. It's a similar experience to George luz where it happens after a few dates. It starts slow, careful almost. But eventually you melt under him. He kisses you harder, Backs you to a wall. You remove each other's shirts. His hands unclips your bra. He makes hickies after hickies up and down your neck. He picks you up and brings you to the bedroom. Kisses down to your skirt to take that off as well. This man would love to praise you. And his voice!? He will mutter the most downright bad into your ears. He could make you come from just that alone. I feel like he's big on moaning you know. Your make him feel so good he's going to let you know that. Will do anything you ask him to do. You want him to touch you. He's instantly rubbing your clit, you want him to suck you Titts, he'll do that too. Fuck you harder and faster. He'll break the mattress. Will make you finish at least twice. Once on his cock. Then he'll clean you up with his tongue. But he is sooo sweet with the after care.
"God I wish you could see yourself right now doll. Getting fucked properly"
Eugene roe
-he's honestly a little nervous. He doesn't want to hurt you. It starts back at your place. Some wine after a good home cooked dinner. The alcohol helps with confidence. It's slow and passionate. He would be completely fine with kissing you for hours on end. But you've had one too many dirty dreams about this man so it's now or never. Eugene will be so great with foreplay. Makes you feel worshiped like no man has ever made you feel before. Always checking to make sure you're ok. When it gets time to really dance if you know what I mean he's super scared that something is going to go wrong. This poor man. You are so worked up from his touch that you have to tell him to just shut up and fuck you. It's like a switch goes off in his head. And the only thing he can suddenly think of is you. He fucks you until the only thing you can think of, only thing you can scream is his name. He robs you of every last breath in your lungs. It's dirty, passionate, sweaty and oh so good. Best God damn orgasm of your life. When you both finish and clean up. He definitely raps you up in his arms.
"Thank you"
"For what?"
"Giving me the best dick of my life"
David Webster
-HERE ME OUT! One bed trope. But it's not at a hotel or anything. You head to his place, have dinner, watch a movie, whatever. Oh no it's dark and raining. How about you stay the night? Oh crap this is a one bed apartment. You get the point. He offers you the bed and he'll sleep on the couch but you say that's silly and to just share the bed. Webster already had a huge crush on you so his ears turn a bright red, but how can he turn down the offer to share a bed with you? You get ready and both go to bed. It's awkward at first until he breaks the silence with one of those deep questions and you start talking for hours. One thing leads to another and he's on top of you. He kisses you until you lose your mind. You run your hands up his bare chest until you reach the stubble on his face. You slowly remove each article of clothing on the both of you. The air is thick and warm. Can you imagine how feral this man will go if you praise him. This man just wants some love ok? He asks you how sure you are about this, not wanting to cross any boundaries. You agree enthusiastically. You tug at his hair. Run your hands down his back. He kisses your neck, holds your waist. He's so gentle with aftercare too. From here on out you stay the night more often.
"Just like that web don't stop, so good, you're so good"
"Fuck sweetheart you're gunna make me come"
Buck Compton
-I know this is sorta cliché but fire sex. It's around the holidays. It's cold, snowing and dark outside. Inside it's warm, cozy and comfortable. You are still in puppy love faze. It's sweet. You are both on the couch blanket on top. Fire crackling. Buck reading you a book. You have thought about it a lot, sex. Yet you've never really got there. Steamy makeout sessions. Been there and done that. But it hasn't made it farther than that. But gooood you want it to. Your hands wander over him. Getting more and more close south each time. You rub his thigh, testing the waters. You can tell he notices by how his adams apple moves. You slowly undo his belt as he continues to read the book. He lets you pull his jeans down and slowly remove him from his boxers. You move your hand tauntingly slow. Not moving any faster in hopes of riling him up. He puts the book down and pulls you up to his lips. He removes your shirt and bra. Flips you over to remove your pants and underwear. He's sweet and confident in each move he makes. He kisses up and down your inner thigh until he finally makes it to the center. He gives you a taste of your own medicine. Slowly keeping you on edge with his tongue until you beg him to fuck you. And he does just that. It's better than you could have ever imagined.
"For fucks sake buck if you don't get up here and dick me down"
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fatuismooches · 2 years
Note
Hello! I wanted to say i absolutely LOVE your writing about the Fatui, but i was wondering how the Fatui would be with a (def crazy) younger sibling around 10-11 years old possibly??
By crazy they could be participating into the same activities as their older siblings but stay away from the most bloody stuff bc they aren't allowed to bc of their sibling (we love an overprotective fictional older sibling❤️).
Idk why wanna see the younger sibling being so cute to all of the Harbingers and loyal to their empress but at the same time not hesitating to send an order to kill someone.
ALSO WHAT ABOUT TIME REVERSING MAGIC?? LIKEEEE IT SOUNDS FUN BUT YOU DECIDE ❤️❤️❤️
ilysm pls take care😭❤️
♡ 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ♡
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synopsis: Due to your craziness, you had trouble fitting in with most kids your age. Not to worry, you have your Harbinger family to take care of you now!
includes: all harbingers w/ gn! reader
notes: Thank you, you're so sweet! I really love the idea of the Harbingers having this instinct to protect their mischievous, always getting into crazy trouble little sibling.
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The first time the Harbingers heard of you was when they found out a whole camp of Fatui members was wiped out. Not by the Traveler, or an opposing military force, but by a child. Not even a teenager, but a little kid. Apparently, you had gotten caught stealing food from the camp and beat everyone up so you wouldn’t get arrested. What was more surprising was that this wasn't the first time you looted a camp. You had poor sneaking skills but you always dispatched the soldiers quickly before anyone got there. Besides the fact that they had to do something about this, the Harbingers were actually quite interested in you. It wasn’t every day you came across a child so much stronger than a group of soldiers.
It wasn’t hard to find out where you’d raid next, and a group of them lay in wait for your arrival. Soon enough, there you were apprehended by one of them, and you could hear them speaking about taking you back somewhere, and other big words you didn’t understand. The person wasn’t applying too much pressure on you. Well, they’d be wrong to underestimate you! You were the strongest kid in Snezhnaya!
You wiggled your arm up forward, but they didn’t pay much attention to you. In your hand, you gripped a small rock and eyed the explosive barrels near you. You think one of them noticed, but it was too late. With a sharp flick, it dove smack into the red barrel, and debris and mess went flying everywhere. The person holding you down had to release a bit to take cover from the explosion and you immediately bolted from there.
You had to be completely crazy to pull a stunt like that. You could have gotten injured - or worse!
You were giddy with excitement and adrenaline after that. You kind of gathered that you were quite different from other kids, but oh well. You made it as far as you could, but your legs were too short for you to run anywhere quickly. So your little plan was ruined when you promptly ran smack into an iron wall. That iron wall was the tallest man you’ve ever seen, and it hurt your neck to look up that high.
The next thing you knew, you woke up in the fluffiest bed ever, surrounded by pillows and cute plushies.
Pierro:
Admires your dedication to the Tsaritsa and all the Harbingers, but is stern in his decision to keep you away from the gory stuff. Proper soldiers must be level head and calm, Pierro says, which you are not. To keep you at bay, he lets you partake in some Fatui duties that don’t involve the cruelty aspect. (Introduces you to paperwork, I guess…) He’s not really sure how to deal with you… he’s used to the utmost respect everyone else gives him due to his status. But you? There are no rules in your world and you hang off his shoulder and fiddle with his mask. Also, the one who has to explain to you that no, you cannot go and try to kill someone for annoying you. When you try to act cute to try and get things to go your way, he thinks it’s endearing but it’s not working on Pierro!
Capitano:
Concerned for you, to be honest. Yes, you may be strong, but throwing yourself headfirst into these dangerous situations? You’re still so small, fragile, tiny… there are too many things that could go wrong. Every time you do even attempt something crazy, he is there, at your side, preventing it. Takes the role of your silent protector a lot more seriously than normal, simply because he doesn’t want you to get hurt because of your antics. Out of everyone he forbids you from engaging in any bloody activity the most. He wants you to do some normal kid stuff, but unfortunately, he himself has problems knowing what exactly that entails. Sits at his desk awkwardly while he watches you bounce off the walls.
Capitano thinks it’s cute when you come up with all these conspiracy theories about what’s under his helmet. At one point he started writing down everything you guessed and now a lot of pages have been filled up. He looks at it whenever he needs something to boost his mood. Is initially reluctant to fulfill your request of “throwing you up into the air and catching you” but he does it quite often because of how much you laugh. And it keeps you from going and fighting random people, at least.
Columbina:
She likes you a lot! Columbina is kinda crazy too, so you two get along like two peas in a pod. Only thing is she wants you to be able to relax too. Whenever you want to go out on some bloody mission, she’ll just hold you hostage (in a friendly way) and fall asleep with you kinda trapped there so you just fall asleep too. I don’t know why, but I think Columbina likes to sing a song about death when she’s killing someone. You unfortunately pick up on this.
Columbina’s the kind of person to cover your eyes whenever something non-child-friendly is happening. Also adores whenever you have your cute moments. I feel like she helps you choose your outfit when you declare that you’ll be a Harbinger one day too. She jumps on this opportunity to dress you up in pretty clothes. I feel like she can also switch from happy to deadly quickly so she can understand how you are.
Dottore:
Oh no… The Harbingers endeavor to keep the two of you apart to the best of their ability because you’re both just menaces. Dottore loves your craziness, he probably even encourages it sometimes to see how far you’ll go. You start adopting your own maniacal laugh like Dottore and he is so proud. If you’re willing, he’ll start going on about these crazy science topics and theories and you’re like - I’m just a kid… a crazy one, but still a kid who can’t comprehend all that… Also finds it highly amusing that Fatui recruits are terrified of you.
Even so, you’re still a kid so he doesn’t want you to get too much into it. If he sees you acting a bit too much crazy, he’ll stop you. He likes to help you tinker with stuff and build things. Thinks of you as his little minion assistant and secretly cherishes you a lot. Not gonna lie though, if you want someone dead, he’ll probably indulge you. He’s not very sane either…
Pulcinella:
He has seen his fair share of youngsters and even though he’s never met anyone like you, he still knows how to deal with you. I just know he can scold you to the point you feel bad for doing crazy things all the time. But then he does a big sigh and lets you off the hook “this time only.” Papanella’s the kinda guy to get you those color-by-number books and crayons and watch you color, finds it amusing when you don’t even use the right colors the book tells you to use. Encourages your creativity, in fact. Is touched when you give him a poorly kid-drawn picture of your Harbinger family. Puts it on one of the walls in Zapolyarny Palace so everyone can admire it.
Every time you try to get involved in the crazy bloody stuff, he just subtly tries to lure you with some different activities. Thinks it’s very important to have a nurturing childhood. Actually, he just bought this new brand of cookies to bake… he’s gonna need a helper, you know? Pulcinella’s probably successful with this multiple times, hanging out with grandpa is the best. (Probably tells you stories of his younger glory days.) Also lets you play with his cane and chuckles when you imitate him.
Scaramouche:
For some reason, you thought he’d be a good role model because you’ve seen him electrocute people, and were like ‘Hey I wanna do that too!” Scaramouche initially tells you to stop following him around but he still can’t help but have a soft spot for you. When you stole his hat and mimicked his laugh he gave up all attempts of trying to ignore you. Scaramouche’s another one who doesn’t mind the craziness but he prefers to let you not do that since he doesn’t want to see you get hurt. He actually thinks it’s amusing when you manage to outwit grown adults. Surprisingly, he still likes it when you act your age. His tone is noticeably gentler with you and he likes to watch over you and be your hidden protector. Also gives you random advice so you can look out for yourself in this world.
Arlecchino:
She has come across all kinds of kids in her orphanage. Shy and introverted ones, extroverted ones eager to prove themselves. But she has never come across one like you, which puts her a bit at a loss of what to do with you, because her normal disciplining is not working. Despite her efforts to hide it, all the other kids can see you’re definitely her favorite, and often flock around you to pester you with questions. A lot of them like to watch you do air punches and kicks so the orphanage is often lively now.
I can see Arlecchino being pretty overprotective of you, simply because she’s seen a lot of kids get hurt due to carelessness and mistakes so she frequently makes sure you’re not alone. In return, she’ll let you carry on for however long about anything you want. She’s a very good listener and has a good memory.
La Signora:
The one who has the urge to protect you from all horrors of this world the most. She lost her lover and her own humanity a long time ago, and to think about losing you brings her pain. Therefore, she’d much rather have you by her side as she yells at the new recruits rather than out in the world fighting people. There’s not much she can do about the craziness, but she tries to explain to you not to get into too much danger. You don’t know who you could lose, or what happens when someone loses you. You don’t understand much, but La Signora looks solemn and sad during these moments, so you tone down a bit and just lay in her lap while she strokes your hair. Likes to dress you up and do pretty hairstyles, eat good food, and generally do fun stuff with you. You should enjoy life for what it is while you can.
Pantalone:
Still spoils the hell out of you. He doesn’t know your backstory or childhood but he assumes it must not be good because of how you are now, which is something Pantalone can relate to a lot. So a lot of the time, he just spoils you, enough to forget about anything else. Often times he likes to sit there and watch you open all of your gifts. Pantalone stays in Snezhnaya most of the time and uses his experience to convince you to stay with him instead of trying to go out into danger. Instead teaches you accounting business and becomes your economics teacher so you can assist him (it doesn’t work very well.)
Sandrone:
She turns people into puppets and robots, so Sandrone can’t comment much on how you are, but she’s still gonna stop you from going out and committing mischievous acts. The kind of sibling who has her Automatons stand guard at every possible exit, even the windows, to prevent you from sneaking out and trying to go on a mission with everyone else. When you come back all cute and pouty, complaining about how strict she is, she just lets her other robots soothe you until you forget about it.
Childe:
In a way, you remind him of how he was when he was a kid. Childe doesn’t think he was as crazy as you though, and he did have a normal childhood before he fell into the Abyss, but he knows about the insatiable urge for battle and fighting. So he understands how you are a lot. The only thing is that he doesn’t want you to grow up into a killing machine like him. So he tries his best to expose you to normal kid things, and keep you away from all the bloody and gory stuff. Even when you beg him to let you come on a mission with him, or even to go clean up some Treasure Hoarders, he’ll say no every time since he really doesn’t want the image of him in blood etched into your mind.
He really loves when you get all adorable with him. You asking him to tell you a story? He’s buying all the bedtime story books across Teyvat and reading you to sleep every day. When he makes you meals and you get all pouty and pick out all the vegetables? He thinks it's so sweet and already considers you part of his family. But then you give him whiplash when you’re the first to offer to take out a target. Childe has already accepted that you’re not going to change your crazy tendencies, but he’s made it his responsibility to preserve your innocence and childhood, if only a little bit.
Time Reversing Magic:
When you told them you could reverse time, none of them really took you seriously. After all, kids tend to have a lot of daydreams and made-up abilities. But for once you actually seemed serious and said the first time you did it, you fell asleep for a week. And as kids get when people don’t believe them, you insist on proving your ability to them. Some of them find it cute how persistent you are, others are interested in why you chose to lie about time reversing of all things. Until they realize you aren’t lying.
You dropped a plate on the floor, and it clattered and broke into pieces. And then you closed your eyes and focused your energy on your hand directed at the plate. Before everyone knew it, the plate was back on the table unbroken, and you were lying on the floor. Chaos ensues.
The most interested one has to be Dottore of course. How did you do that? What kind of childhood did you have to develop that ability? Who are your parents? Are you even human? What are the consequences of this power? Then there are the ones who don’t really want you to use your power. What if you get seriously injured from using it too much or too long? They don’t want to see you hurt. You won’t have to use it anyway, they can protect you well enough. If anything, I think Pierro would know the most and be able to help you control it. He knows about Khaenri’ah’s secrets so he would know about all ancient types of magic.
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rottnteen · 8 months
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yay! can you please write a mgg or spencer reid (nsfw) drabble based kind of that moodboard you made <3 it can be anything like punishing reader or teasing and reader just saying they can’t take it anymore :0? reader just being a needy mess not rlly able to speak. would honestly prefer spence/ mgg just being a soft dom but still stern on the rules? eeek i’m kinda nervous about submitting this but.. it’s rotting in my brain! 🎀
OFC! I LOVE REQUESTS! :D I also don’t write for real life people, only fictional characters (just so you know for the future <3) Don’t be nervous to send requests pls pls pls. I ENCOURAGE requests. pls send more :( This was meant to be a drabble but goodness gracious. I got carried away.
tw: MDNI, girly reader, afab!reader, needy clingy reader, soft!dom!spencer, teasing, punishment, smut, unprotected pnv, hand kink (obvi), degradation, praise, dom and sub relationship, girlfriend and boyfriend, kissing (oooo), pain, spanking, bondage (kinda), mention of a safe word, underlying tones of possessive!spencer, decryphilia
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You hadn’t listened to his rules. He said you were being a “brat”, a word you hated. You had been sitting in his lap as he worked on some documents. That’s it!
At first, it was innocent.
But you saw the way his hands glided over the paper as he read, the veins popping ever so slightly. You hoped that the way your thighs clenched were going unnoticed by him when he flexed his fingers around his ballpoint pen as he wrote.
You held a stuffed animal he had given you, a bunny you’ve named Bun, in your own lap. Trying to distract yourself. Eventually, you started squirming. Your distraction not working.
Spencer was a patient man. He loved you and cared for you. But he also liked to stick to the rules. And distracting him from his work is one of those rules. He had quickly stilled your hips with one hand, the other trying to write. “Don’t.” His voice was soft but affirming. Not helping your arousal but deepening it. You’d let out a small whine at his words and he quickly tsked. “Listen.” He had said in that same voice.
That’s how you got here. On the bed naked (except for your thigh high socks) and spread open whilst he was fully clothed, sporting a large hard on. Your hands are tied to the bed post with his work ties. His fingers teased lightly on your inner thighs and you whine again, he slaps your thigh in disapproval. “S-spence…”
He shakes his head no, getting up and grabbing your bunny from the floor. “You think she is happy with the way your acting?” He asks, propping it up on the dresser. You let out a choked sob, moving your arms but to no avail. You cant get out of your position. “You know our safe word.” He tuts, “Now Bun is going to have to watch the way you get punished. I was hoping you’d be a good girl. Stay seated and wait till I was done.” He shakes his head. He comes back to you, his fingers teasing the lips of your cunt. Just as you think he’s going to open you up, he doesn’t.
He slaps your pussy, causing your back to arch and you to moan out in pain and pleasure. “Slut” He mutters and does it again, getting the same reaction out of you. Small pleas that are incoherent leave your mouth. Spencer’s fingers brush in between your thighs and he smiles. Grinning like the devil. He kisses your thighs and then trails them up your stomach up to the valley in between your breasts.
He chuckles and starts to leave love bites on your collarbone, neck and chest. “Mine” He whispers in your ear before kissing your earlobe and working his way over to your other to do the same thing. He crawls down from the top of your body back down to your lower half.
“I cant.” You whisper.
His grin grows, “Cant what?”
“I need more.” Your lip trembles as his breath ghosts over your heat. “I need you to fuck me.” Tears start at the corner of your eyes as he sucks little hickeys onto your hip bones.
“You gotta apologize. You broke my rules like a bad bad girl, bunny” He scolds
You sniffle, “M’sorry for breaking the rules like a bad girl,” You hiccup, “I’ll be a good girl. I pr-promise!”
He smiles at your crying; the tears falling down your pretty face. You bat your wet eyelashes and your cheeks turn rosy from the act. He comes up to your face and kisses your tears, bringing a finger to part your lips and you let out a moan at the small stimulation.
The sound is embarrassing. It’s wet. And sticky. And loud. Spencer loves it. He brings the finger to his lips and moans, a meek squeak coming from yours. He then undoes his belt. The sound causing your thighs to clench together. He takes his clothes off, stroking his cock as he comes to the edge of the bed and parts your legs. He puts your calves on his shoulders and lines himself up with your hole.
He slides in with no resistance, your tight cunt sucking him up immediately. His hand comes down to your thigh as the other holds one of your legs on his shoulders, “Was made for me.” He mumbles to himself. He looks down at you in bliss. Your mouth is open and your eyes are rolled back, your panting and you hold the ties with all your might. “Are you just a dumb bunny when a cock is in her?” He teases lightly, now thrusting in and out you while kissing your ankle to show love and affection. “Fuck”
You babble as he thrusts in you. Small uh’s or little moans of his name. He also hears you say he has the best dick, and that he can take whatever he needs. Soon your clenching hard and he brings one finger down to mess with your clit. “Cum.” He orders you.
Just like that, to his will, your body lets go. Arching for him and giving yourself to him as he cums into your body, a warm flood you welcome.
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n3xxs · 4 months
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𓆩𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𓆪
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General! Lilia x Gender neutral! Reader.
Fluff, a little bit of angst
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND USAGE OF SLEEP PILLS IN THIS FAN FICTION! IF IT TRIGGERS ANYONE PLS DON'T READ IT!
So I was a little bit in the hospital. Like a few days and I'm going to be set off tomorrow when I upload this or the day I am set off. While I was in like the hospital I thought: Lilia is cool let's make a fan fiction. Since I'm making a story of my own and it's about dreams I combined them so yeah.
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𝑫𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔. Some people say they have a meaning while other say they are meaningless. You were once one of those people to think that this dream situation was just some random thought. But this one dream has been repeating 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏. It came to the point where you didn't want to wake up. It's wasn't bad. Quite the opposite really. It was magical, something new, something to look forward in your lonely boring life with your pet.
So when you got back to your apartment you were more than happy to just go to sleep. You even skipped dinner. Again. At this point it became a problem but did you care? No not at all. You happily changed into your pyjamas and jumped on your bed hugging the pillow looking up at the ceiling and then burying your head in the pillow while slowly dozing off to sleep.
At the start the general didn't like you because you were human but as time passes he grew a liking to you although you liked him more than a friend that was for sure. What if you never woke up. What if you just stayed? No stop thinking like that it's not right.
When you appeared in the dream you saw 𝐡𝐢𝐦. You smiled widely "General!" He looked back and saw you. He was waiting for you. Like always. He couldn't believe he was falling for a human. But he couldn't say anything to you. You were dreaming and was gonna go away. One day you would find someone else and stop coming here. He got down on his feet taking off his helmet allowing his long dark hair to roam free as his red eyes looked down at your own. He let out a chuckle "You seem quite happy human" You nodded happily and held his hand guiding him to the small cottage you first found in your dream.
You loved baking but you didn't have time because of work so when you had this moment almost every day you always baked something small. Like now. You backed an apple pie. You handed it to him and sat down as he ate it. You knew how bad he was at cooking. You have tasted it once. You lied about you liking it "It's good as always human" you have a bright smile before it becoming a frown and taking the pie "Hey!" He tried reaching for it but was unable since you ran away. For being a general he really let you off the hook huh?
"What did I say about the human part young man?!" He looked at her dumbfounded "I'm probably 100 times if not more older than you" he crossed his arms. All she let out was a pout "I don't care Lilia" his name. Everytime your honey lips said that name. 𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆. He wanted to kiss you. To make you his. 𝑻𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎 𝒚𝒐𝒖. He knew he couldn't though which made him feel...disappointed? Sad? No these were wear feelings he shouldn't feel as the general who leads an army through a war with humans. With 𝒉𝒆𝒓 kind. But she was different. She didn't want anything to do with the war.
You always hated wars. You thought they were useless other than taking the lives of others and Lilia knew that. He smiled at you "Okay [Name]" You felt your cheeks become red and let him eat the rest. You danced under the pretty moonlight as you always made him. You wanted to kiss him and just when you had the courage you woke up.
You woke up with a snap and groaned in frustration trying not to make a tantrum. Well now that wasn't fair! Why!? She knew a way. She went over to her cabinet and took out sleeping pills. She took one and went to fall asleep going into the same world this time being daylight "Lilia!" She yelled at him and he looked over seeing her "I love you!" You yelled in the distance and when he took his helmet you were met with a flustered and surprised expression. You loved 𝐡𝐢𝐦. You loved the person who commanded an army to do the thing you hate. That wasn't right. But you were only dreaming so why? You were stupid. And he was too.
He ran over to you. He was fast because before eyou realized you were in his arms and he was kissing you. You were taken aback but kissed him too. After you broke off the kiss you woke up.
You were happy but then you realized one thing. You weren't dreaming about this anymore. No. That wasn't right. You were supposed to see him every night. What if he thinks you were just using him. What I'd he thinks you were bluffing and making a joke out of him. You loved him. With all your heart. You needed to meet him.
As many pills you took all you did was end up in the hospital. You were laying down looking up and felt something. 𝑻𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔. You weren't one to cry so why? It was a dream so why we're you so attached? It wasn't fair. Why? He was her soulmate so why? You hated life for that. How unfair it was. You despised it. That's why you were so attached to him. He was making you feel like a princess. He danced with you. Played games with you. Told you his story. Held you bridal style when you were with a twisted ankle. He did everything no man in this world would do. He made life easier. That was why.
"Ok miss you will be set off tomorrow ok?" The doctor gave you a smile and you gave her a tired nod. You were tired of this life. You wanted it to end. Should you? No stop it. That was dumb you were gonna get over him wouldnt you? It wasn't so hard. The following day you were set off and fell asleep as normal. When you came in the same place you saw him. He was waiting for you. You started crying "Lilia" He immediately looked back at you.
It seemed as her teleported but he had a concerned exspession on his face. And then 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔. 𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈. Your eyes widened and he hugged you kissing you all over your face "I thought you left! Where were you!?" He looked down at you "I just stopped dreaming. I'm sorry" And then he kissed you. Passionately "I want to try something. What If I make 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆?" Your eyes widened and your face flushed "Lilia what?" He smirked "If I make you mine would you stay. How about we test it"
You blushed but gave a nod. He held you bridal style to the cottage where he set you off on the bed. That night was full of the passion you always wanted. Once you woke up you were with your pet but there was one thing. You were still at the cottage and next to you was 𝑳𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒂. So it worked. She smiled and stood up changing and making breakfast. When Lilia woke up he looked at you dumbfounded but soon smiled brightly and went over to you burying his face in his neck "Your hair smells nice" You giggled and gave him a kiss. Finally you were gonna be happy with him. Forever. So dreams became true 𝒉𝒖𝒉?
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Ok I know it's reallyyy short and I hate it for that I'm sorry. Forgive me 🙏🙏. I'll try better next time. It doesn't make sense but look. Is it fluffy? It is so shut it pls.
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dangermousie · 24 days
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The way they fight is AMAZING!
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I take back my recent comments that choking is having a moment in cdramas nowadays. This is from years ago and here is choking in glorious technicolor.
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It's interesting that he's letting her keep the kid, which is not even a question for a modern person but for someone in his position and his personality just speaks about how obsessed he is. (Interesting question - would they had a greater chance for happiness if she gave birth to a daughter? I don't think so tbh. Ultimately, the deal breaker was he was always a monster intent on ruling in blood and she could not live complicit. But maybe it would have taken longer to reach the breaking point.)
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Crazy alert!
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One of the most jaw dropping things in this entire jaw dropping sequence is how his choking transforms into his trying to caress her. Good Lord.
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Dude, dude, DUDEEEE
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And then he shoves her on the bed and climbs on top. Young man, even if she fancied you, this is not the style of foreplay appealing to majority of women. Not that he had to care, as king. But like - show some finesse.
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I started laughing. Dude, you blackmailed her with the life of her boyfriend and have been threatening and manhandling her ever since she got here. LIKE!!! The stunning lack of self-awareness.
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The way she never has any give!
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Honestly, she has SUCH balls but also this is so a ship dynamic I go wild for in fiction (in rl, pls pls call the cops and run.)
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Bwahahahaha. Tbh, I wasn't sure even that would kill his desire for...ahem...conquest.
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When you have to say "at least he's not a rapist of the woman he loves," you know you've not only hit rock bottom in terms of decency and sanity of your ML, but you are tunneling through to magma.
And then he leaves her, only to go to some other random concubine's room and shove her on the bed with no preliminaries, to work off the lust he's worked up but left unsatisfied with our FL:
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Even if this wasn't Qin Shi Huang but some fictional monarch, censors would never let this drama air now, and if they kept him being QSH, I think they'd rather literally die than release it. Yet this was aired no problem in 2017, on TV no less. What a difference (and not a good one), less than a decade makes.
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theharddeck · 1 year
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talk with my hands, maybe take it real slow (jake seresin x fem!reader)
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Pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader (no y/n)
Synopsis: Jake's roommate has a new tattoo and can't stop itching at it...what kind of friend would he be, if he didn't help distract her?
Warnings: this fic is 18+, minors please DNI – we go pretty quickly into smut, featuring the usual--explicit oral sex (both receiving, bc we're feminists like that), and then also PiV sex, including but not limited to, condescension, overstimulation (bc what's the point of fiction if we're not wringing multiple orgasms out of our self insert?) and creampies (do not have unprotected, unnegotiated sex pls)
Length: 7.8k
A/N: sorry about the moodboard being lacluster; I couldn't find a tattoo pic that wasn't on a size 0 thigh or white, so we went without
You hadn’t considered yourself to be a person with particularly awful self control, but then again, you’d never had a tattoo healing on your inner thigh, driving you mad with the need to scratch at it. It’d been 3 weeks since the appointment and your ink was probably 95% healed; the redness had faded entirely and a couple raised patches of roughness were all you had to show for the fact that it was new. Which somehow made the incessant need to itch all the more frustrating, because you were pretty sure it was mostly phantom at this point. 
“Listen, honey, you gotta chill.” Jake’s voice interrupted your inner monologue, from his seat on the couch across the living room. 
Your roommate had started in hard on the Southern pet names when he’d seen that they’d flustered you. Honestly, there was precious little the man wouldn’t do, if it meant making you unnerved. You two didn’t have what you’d call a friendship, but the playful Something between the two of you felt safe and fun. Even if it did mean that Jake seemed to take a little more pleasure than he should’ve, in the face of your pain.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you replied drily, “are the literal thousands of abrasions on my skin irritating you?”
Jake rolled his eyes at your melodrama. “I can feel you thinking from over here, and it’s taking up real estate that belongs to Maya Hawke,” he gestured to the TV where the latest season of Stranger Things was playing.  
“It itches,” you mumbled, hearing the complaint in your voice and knowing it was pathetic, but too over it to care. 
Jake cut you a long look, like he also heard it, and was embarrassed for you. “Want me to get you some ice?” he asked, and it was sweet of him to offer, but…
“We’re out of ice,” you sighed. “I went through the last two trays in, like, record time, and they’re refreezing now.”
“We have like fourteen trays,” Jake frowned.
“Yeah, well someone,” you paused meaningfully, “drastically depleted our resources when he decided to have a bourbon tasting over the weekend.”
Jake had the grace to look guilty for a  moment. Then it was his turn to sigh dramatically, lifting his arm to the back of the couch and swatting at the cushion next to him. “Alright, kid, c’mere.”
In retrospect, you probably should’ve asked why, or at least deliberated for half a second before doing what he asked. In reality, you pushed off the settee you’d been lounging on, and flopped ungracefully onto the couch next to Jake. You shared a bathroom with the man and he’d seen you on the second day of your period; dignity was a distant memory. 
Still, it didn’t prepare you for Jake pulling your legs apart with one of his large hands, and spreading his fingers over your tattoo, all while calmly turning up the volume of the TV with the remote in his other hand. 
“Jesus, Jake,” you choked out, telling yourself the goosebumps erupting over your whole body were entirely because of your surprise, and not any other reason. “Buy a girl a drink first.”
Jake chuckled, somehow managing to shake his head at you while not looking away from the TV. “You’re the one who’s always telling me my hands are cold as ice.”
Had you said that?
It sounded like something you’d say.
But Jake’s hand on your leg felt anything but cold. Okay, no, if you separated your brain from—well, from anything—you could recognize that his fingers were quite cold, and it was incredibly soothing having them over you. His thumb was brushing lightly over your skin, while the rest of his hand stayed still, and you knew that ice cubes couldn’t do that, but damn, it would’ve been great if they could. You settled back into the couch, relaxing into the soft material and the relief brought by Jake’s hands.
It was a wonderful two minutes. 
Good to know that that was how long it took for the fourth law of thermodynamics to kick in, and for Jake’s fingers to warm up after extended contact with your skin.  
Then a new problem was presented—you couldn’t scratch at yourself without scratching him. You shifted slightly, to see if you could get any type of friction, but Jake’s touch was light enough that he moved with you. You snuck a glance at Jake’s profile, still fixed on the TV screen, and his expression could best be described as incredibly pleased with himself.
“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” you muttered accusingly.  
“Absolutely,” he said, smugly. “You could fidget up a storm over there, but here you have to just deal with it.”
You pressed your lips together to keep yourself from sticking your tongue out at him petulantly. You folded your hands in your lap, determined to ignore the rising propensity to scratch at yourself. At some point, you’d sunken into the couch until your shoulder was pressed against Jake’s arm, and you shifted so your cheek was resting against him too. His tshirt was soft, and he smelled clean, like a freaking linen candle, which was annoying, because it didn’t help clear the riotous tangle of thoughts rushing through your head.
You did stop fidgeting, though.
“Atta girl,” Jake said quietly, his thumb still moving over your thigh.
Was it hot in here?
It had to be hot in here.
Because this was Jake, your roommate, who’d never shown an ounce of interest in you, being calm as anything with his hand literally on your thigh, and saying things that would’ve sounded like come ons from anyone else.
You tried to focus on the TV, and whatever ridiculous shenanigans the children on it had found themselves in, pulling a deep breath through your nose.
(Immediate mistake, because of said linen candle bullshit). 
On the TV, Nancy’s hair got frizzier, Steve’s life got shittier, and all the while your leg was getting itchier and itchier.
You reached to press a hand over the skin distractedly, forgetting momentarily that Jake’s hand was there until you encountered his fingers instead of your skin. He turned his hand over, his knuckles pressing against your skin while his fingers intercepted your own.
“Where’re you going?” he asked, voice lightly mocking, and you wrinkled your nose. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t affected, his hands so close to your burning skin, and he still had the wherewithal to tease you for your poor impulse control.
“Jake,” you whined, trying to untangle your fingers, but his grip was unrelenting, “I’m not gonna scratch, okay, I just need to do something.”
He looked down at you, which you had to admit, was a hell of an experience when your head was practically on his shoulder. 
He blinked slowly, looking at you closely before he opened his hands, letting your fingers go. You pulled your hand back, eyes closing in relief when you pressed them against your skin. It wasn’t as good as scratching, but the pressure helped, and you shifted your fingers—and your nail accidentally dragged against your skin. 
Which was pretty much the worst thing that could happen, because it was like a tease and it shouldn’t have felt as good as it did, but you were half a second away from clawing up your thigh when Jake’s hand closed around your wrist again. 
“Seriously?” he asked, amusement coloring his tone. 
“Just let me,” you pleaded, trying to pull your wrist back. “It’ll take like two seconds and then it’ll hurt and I can stop.”
“You could also get infected or mess up the ink placement,” he said, and you stopped pulling for a moment.
“When did you learn so much about tattoo care?” you grumbled, and Jake chuckled again. It sounded different this close to him, deeper. 
“When my roommate decided to mark up the inside of her leg,” he replied easily. “Now don’t you have a lotion or something you can put on this?”
“I do, but it doesn’t help,” you said, annoyed that he was right. 
“Well, let’s at least try it, yeah?” Jake asked, and you rolled your neck, sighing. 
“Fine,” you pushed yourself off the couch. 
You felt Jake’s eyes following you to the bathroom, so you didn’t scratch at your leg, not wanting to hear more of his teasing. You found the jar of lotion, dropping back onto the couch as you unscrewed the lid. 
“It’s just gonna be sticky and leave white marks on the couch,” you groused, looking confusedly over at Jake when he held his hand out. “What?”
“What do you mean, what,” he retorted, like it was obvious. “I’m not gonna let you do this; you have zero impulse control.”
You were too stunned to resist when he plucked the lotion out of your hands, dipping his fingers into the jar. 
Had you said that the worst thing was an accidental nail brush against your tattoo?
That wasn’t true. 
Because the actual worst thing was having to sit there, pretending everything was fine and normal, as your ridiculously hot roommate started spreading Aquaphor on your inner thigh. 
Jake was nothing if not thorough, his long fingers smoothing the cool lotion over your skin, pressing slowly into you and fucking kneading into your thighs, but that wasn’t the worst of it. The worst of it was that he was entirely serious. Gone was the teasing condescension, the knowing look, and in its place was an unfamiliar gentleness. 
Jake’s head was bent, some of his perfect hair falling in front of his eyes, as he properly tended to your leg like he was a nurse and these were doctor’s orders. Like he wanted to be absolutely careful as he looked after you, like looking after you was even something he did. You swallowed, forcing your breathing to remain even. 
This was fine, this was normal. 
This was absolutely not complicating the tenuous relationship the two of you had, and wasn’t causing you to read into the pet names, the caring, the fact that his big hand was literally between your legs. 
He had to stop, or you had to stop, because now was not the time to be thinking risque things about your roommate, not when he was genuinely being sweet and trying to help.
“I think that’s good,” you said, hoping Jake couldn’t hear the tremor in your voice. 
Jake tipped his head to the side, considering his work, then nodded to himself, satisfied. He rubbed his hands together, wiping the excess lotion on the backs of his knuckles, and screwed the lid of the jar back on. You were readjusting on the couch when he leaned across you to leave the jar on the coffee table and when he shifted back, one of you messed up, because his forearm brushed against your chest. 
“Uh, sorry,” Jake said quickly, “I wasn’t—”
He was interrupted, of course.
Because you could tell yourself you were fine, everything was fine, all day long, but turns out that the slightest, accidental brush of Jake against your breasts had an ungodly whimper spilling out of your mouth before you could stop it. 
He froze. 
Shit. 
“Shit,” you said aloud, hands covering your face in embarrassment, “no, I’m sorry, that wasn’t—uh, we can ignore that—I don’t know what’s going on with me, sorry to make it weird, it’s not your fault—”
You stopped babbling when Jake’s hands closed on your wrists, and, for the upteenth time that night, you let yourself be guided by him. When he pulled your hands away, your breath caught at how close he was, and the unfamiliar expression on his face as he looked between your eyes. 
“I need to know right now,” he said, his voice serious as anything, “if you’re apologizing because you’re embarrassed, or because you didn’t mean it.”
You pressed your lips together, not trusting what sounds would come out of your mouth with Jake’s hands holding your wrists, and his eyes this intense. Whatever he read on your face had Jake’s lips parting, a shaking breath drawn in through them, before they thinned in a lazy smile. 
“And here I thought I was the perv, taking any excuse to get my hands on you, darlin’, when you’ve been wanting me just as bad.”
Your jaw dropped at his blunt words, but what, were you going to say he was wrong? 
Jake’s head cocked sideways when you didn’t say anything, and he guided your hands to the back of his neck, before letting go of them. Your fingers wound around his neck, the ends of his hair brushing your thumbs, and you realized he was waiting for you to say something before this—whatever ‘this’ was—went any further.
“Probably worse,” you admitted, not even trying to hide the breathlessness in your voice, “if I’m honest.”
Jake’s eyes darkened and his grin grew wider. “If that’s how honest sounds, I think I want to hear more of it,” he said.
Fuck, he was going to ruin you.
“Kiss me and find out?” you managed, and Jake huffed out a laugh before reaching for you again. His hands settled on your waist and he lifted to drag you towards him. 
“Yes ma’am,” he whispered before his lips crashed into yours. 
You were still reeling from the title, and how you liked the sound of it a little too much, but Jake’s mouth against yours drove that thought from your head. He kissed you like he’d wanted it for longer than you could’ve expected, his teeth biting at your lower lip, his tongue soothing after it. You shifted to help him as he pulled you towards him, both of you gasping when you settled in his lap. You were thankful his flannel pajamas could stand a bit of residual lotion, just as you were thankful for the pressure of his hands on your waist, fingers pressing into you and pulling you closer. Jake licked at the seam of your lips and you opened for him; when his tongue swept into your mouth, you felt it in your core. And suddenly, or maybe not suddenly, maybe finally, after months of build up, you were desperately needy. 
Your fingers pulled through his hair, and Jake’s hips pressed up when you pulled lightly on the strands. At the motion of his rolling hips, your pajama shorts pressed tightly into your core and the friction felt like building, and Jake broke away from your mouth with a gasp. His hands tightened on your waist, holding you still, and while you appreciated his restraint, you wanted to feel him again. 
You whispered his name as he trailed kisses down your neck, and your breath quickened when he found your pulse point under your jaw. Jake hummed, the vibration echoing over your skin, through you, and you realized he was muttering things against your skin. 
“D’you know how hard these last three weeks have been,” he whispered, lips ghosting over your skin as he pressed kisses to new goosebumps, “with you always in those tiny shorts, saying it’s because you can’t have tight clothes over your tattoo?”
You felt lightheaded at the idea of Jake wanting you this whole time, maybe longer, locking it away and refusing to act on it because he didn’t know what you felt.    
“It’s true,” you managed, and Jake laughed, a puff of warm air over your skin. 
“And if that wasn’t enough,” another kiss, another soft suck, “you’ve been so whiny, haven’t you? Always pouting, always needy, making me wonder how you’d sound…”
Your eyes were closed, your world distilled to the heat of his mouth, the heat of his words. You pulled at him, needing his mouth over yours again, and Jake obliged. He was so much softer than you expected, gentle but firm, and he tasted so damn good. 
With him distracted, you rolled your hips again, rewarded by the friction over your core, and you could feel Jake hardening in his pajama pants. It was addictive, and you sought him out again, pouting when Jake stilled your hips again. 
“Baby,” he murmured, and heat shot through you at the pet name, not one he’d used jokingly before, “what was the point of the lotion if you’re going to grind it off against my flannels?”
“You can reapply it later,” you rationalized, but Jake shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. His lips were swollen, his cheeks reddened, and you loved the look of him like this, almost dazed. 
“C’mon,” he prompted you, and guided you to stand. Your legs felt weak, but you managed, and Jake’s hands smoothed up the outside of your thighs. You were between his spread knees, and his hands played with the hem of your shorts before he pulled them down your legs, taking care to not scrape them over your tattoo. The air felt cold on your exposed skin, and Jake swore quietly as he dropped the shorts, staring at you in your underwear with something that felt dangerously close to adoration. 
He leaned closer, and at first you thought it was so he could be more gentle with your fragile panties, but then he pressed a kiss to the outside of your thigh and you jumped, pushing him away, embarrassed again. 
“You don’t—” you started, pursing your lips, “um, you don’t have to…do that. We can—”
Jake’s hands smoothed over your thighs, coming around to cup under your ass. Had you said his hands were cold earlier? You were sure they were burning, leaving trails of heat wherever he touched. 
“Nah, baby,” he whispered against your thighs, his nose brushing the soft skin there, as his hands squeezed you, “nothing ‘have to’ about something I’ve been dreaming ‘bout for months.”
Well, fuck, when he put it like that…
“Okay, then,” you said quietly, weaving your hand into his hair again, and Jake flashed a smile up at you. 
“Okay, then,” he echoed, and his fingers pulled your underwear over your hips. He scooted to the front of the couch, a motion that should’ve been cute for his enthusiasm, but instead was simply devastating. He looked so good like this, eager and hungry, and your breath caught when he licked his lips, your hips canting towards him. 
He didn’t look away from you. 
His green eyes locked on yours as he leaned closer, not pausing when his tongue crept past his lips and you were the one to break, your head tipping back when he licked you. His tongue was flat against you, like the first taste of ice cream, and your head spun at the shamelessness of it. You whimpered when he pulled away, and Jake’s breath was warm as he leaned back again. 
“There’s that sound I was after,” he murmured, his soft words a cutting juxtaposition to his filthy tongue. 
He teased you with soft licks, lapping at your arousal that’d only grown since he’d first touched your thighs earlier tonight. His hands snuck around to pull you apart, spread you on his fingers like he needed his tongue closer, tasting you and drinking you. He was unhurried and it was maddening, and you pulled at his tshirt distractedly, needing to feel his skin.  
“Ah, honey,” Jake muttered as he pulled back. “You taste so good, fucking unbelievable.”
You opened your eyes to find his chest heaving, his eyes dilated and your slick smeared across his chin. He looked so good like this, drunk on you, and you imagined you looked nearly as wrecked. He leaned back to pull his tshirt over his head, and your fingers smoothed over broad shoulders, sun-kissed skin, as it was bared to you. 
He tossed the shirt aside and a moment later he was leaning back into your cunt, nuzzling your clit with his nose as his tongue lapped at you. Your knees nearly buckled at the sensation, and Jake groaned, the vibrations only increasing the intensity of the feelings flooding you. His strong hands held you up, spread before him, and he lifted his mouth to tease at your clit. You whined when his tongue rolled around you, alternating tight circles and slow, and your eyes rolled back when he closed his lips and sucked. 
“Jake, oh my god,” you gasped, feeling your stomach tighten. It was too soon, you knew it, but you also couldn’t fight it, and it was practically crashing over you—
Jake pulled back. 
You whined in confusion, looking down to find him looking up at you, a familiar expression of smug awareness on his face. He turned his head to press a gentle kiss to your thigh, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes. 
“Told you I’ve been waiting on this for months, honey,” he teased, another wet kiss slightly higher on your thigh. “You didn’t think I’d let you off that easy, did you?”
Nothing about this felt easy. Not the way he had your body primed for release, every nerve wound tight, not the way you felt it slipping away, and your desperation only climbing. 
You whimpered his name, too gone to be embarrassed by how fucked out you sounded. 
“Aw, baby…” Jake cooed, and you saw his shoulders shift as he repositioned. Before you could anticipate his next move, a broad finger was stroking through your folds, and you cried out, your hands flying to his shoulder to steady yourself. 
“So pretty like this,” Jake soothed, pulling his finger through you, stroking back over you, the pressure perfect, but not enough, “needy. Desperate.”
“Jake, please,” you cried, appalled to find real tears were pushing behind your eyes. After being so close to release, then being denied, then held steady wherever his fingers pulled you, you couldn’t be responsible for the way your body was shaking.
“Bet you’d beg me for it, wouldn’t you?” Jake said, voice even and unbothered. He added another finger, still not entering you, just teasing over you, languid. “You’re all proud when you’re strutting around in those shorts, cute when you ask for help, but not like this, huh? Like this, you know who’s in charge.”
Any response you had was cut off when he plunged both fingers into you. 
No warning, no easing, just sudden pressure and thickness and your body tightened around the sudden intrusion, unrelenting and unexpected and fucking perfect, and you couldn’t stop your orgasm as it ripped through you.
“Oh, fuck,” Jake groaned, as he recognized your walls tightening around his fingers. “Thatta girl, come on, give it to me.”
You moaned, your core clenching as your denied release rolled over you, scalding and strong and you felt it in your toes. You didn’t know how you were still standing, you knew the sounds pouring out of you were unbridled, and Jake was proudly talking you through it. 
“So beautiful, baby, you’re doing so good,” he said, his other hand stroking up your neck to support your head. You turned your head desperately, pulling his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it, needing to be grounded. 
“Fuck, baby,” Jake moaned, and his fingers kept their pace inside you. You felt the edges of your orgasm soften as he worked you through it, and as the fingers not in your mouth brushed against your cheek, you realized he was wiping away tears. You were shaking, it was perfect, but his fingers inside you were pressing deeper and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to push you higher again. 
“How we doing, honey?” Jake asked, and you lifted your head to meet his eyes. He was watching you carefully, and he pulled his thumb from your mouth so you could answer him.
“Good,” you whispered, through the clearing haze, “really, really, good.”
Jake hummed, tilting his head as he considered you. His fingers scissored inside of you, and you clenched down on him, hands grasping his shoulders. 
“Then I think you should give me another,” he said, smile growing as your eyes widened. 
“Jake, wait—” you protested, but you went without opposition when he pulled you back to the couch. His fingers paused their exploration but he didn’t pull out of you as he guided you onto your back, propping your knees up carefully. 
“Have to be gentle with that thigh,” he said, his voice growing husky as he settled between your legs. He stroked his fingers again, and your core clamped down on them, still not fully returned from your first high. Any other protest you had died when he bent down again, his mouth returning to your cunt. 
You’d had his tongue, you’d had his fingers, and they’d made you cum like you hadn’t in months. And now suddenly you had both at once, and you were pretty sure it was going to cost you your mind. 
“Jake, fuck,” you keened, your back arching off the couch.
Jake didn’t respond, too busy lapping up your release and thrusting into you. His tongue traced a maddening pattern over your clit as his fingers pressed deeper into you, stretching you.  
“You taste even sweeter like this, baby,” he mumbled into you, and you moaned as you felt his words. His fingers brushed something deep inside of you and you couldn’t breathe; you reached for Jake’s hair, pulling desperately, hoping he could read how impossibly taut you were. 
“You know something,” he mused, like it was the calmest thing in the world, “you came so quick, didn’t you? Came once you had something fucking you, and it was so beautiful, honey…but I never got to hear you beg.” 
“Jake,” you whispered, his name the only word you could manage, the only thing you could say with his fingers brushing that spot and his mouth just a breath away from you. 
“Nah,” he said, his voice low, “I know you could do it so prettily. Won’t you do it for me, sweetheart, won’t you let me hear it? Let me make you cum again?”
He kissed you again, his mouth light and teasing, brushing caresses over your mound but not where you were aching, throbbing, for him. His fingers slowed, torturously, pushing you closer but not fast enough, and you felt your eyes filling again. What was he asking for?
What was anything, what did he need?
“Jake, please,” you gasped, your voice thick. “Please, please—”
“Please what, baby?” Jake asked, another soft kiss. “What do you need?”
“I need to cum,” you practically sobbed. “Please, need it so bad, please, Jake—need you so bad, need you to—”
“That’s right,” Jake practically growled, his voice lower than you’d ever heard it. “You need me. And I’ve got you, honey, so you can let you go, since you asked so nicely, and I’m gonna take care of you…”
His forearm was banded across your waist, holding you still as his fingers found that spot inside of you, pressed up against it, and your thighs shook as your second orgasm bowled over you. Jake’s tongue was over your clit, then his lips closed, and when you thought you might be ready to let go of the high, he sucked, and you fully shattered. You could feel your nails raking into his back, feel his responding groans through the mouth still pressed to your cunt, as your world dissolved into white heat. It swept over you and you stopped trying to ride it, just let yourself be thrown, buffeted by Jake’s mouth, Jake’s fingers, Jake’s soft words.  
“Fucking gorgeous, baby, you did so good,” Jake was murmuring into the skin of your stomach. His fingers were still inside of you, gently rocking but no longer trying to stimulate you. It would’ve brought tears to your eyes, if they weren’t already streaming, how tender he was being with you. The whiplash was incredible—how quickly he’d brought you to orgasm, how easily he’d denied you, how thoroughly fucked out you were, now that he’d given it to you. 
God, and you hadn’t even had him yet. 
“Jake,” you croaked, your throat hoarse, and he lifted his head to look up at you. 
“What is it, honey?” he asked, voice soft. He was propped up on his elbows, and he shifted slightly, pulling his fingers out of you. You pressed your lips together to stop a whimper from escaping and trying to ignore how empty you felt, and watching quietly as he wiped his hands absently on his pajama pants before looking back up at you. 
You lifted a hand to brush away some of his hair that’d fallen into his face. You shifted slightly, pulling the hem of your tshirt down to wipe at his chin, clean him up a little. It was rough, not the intended purpose of the garment, and Jake laughed a little at the clumsiness of the action, pressing his jaw into your cotton-covered hand, to help you as you wiped at his face. 
You bit your lip, more to stop yourself from smiling so wide it made you hurt, looking down at him, propped up on his elbows 
He looked proud. 
He looked content, and it made your heart swell uncomfortably in your chest, that he’d look like that after taking care of you. But the longer you looked at him, something like doubt flickered behind his eyes and he cleared his throat, looking away. 
“If…” he started, and he shook his head, like he was clearing the fog after a night out. “Uh, you know, if that’s too much…or not what you wanted, or something, we can just say it was a distraction. You know, to get your mind off the tattoo.”
You hadn’t thought about the thing in what felt like a lifetime.
More importantly, you saw Jake still wasn’t meeting your eyes, like he expected you to say that that’s all this was, and he was worried you’d see too much if you were looking at him when you said it. It broke your heart, that he would push away his own repressed feelings, if it meant protecting yours. 
Although, to be fair, you’d both been more honest in the last thirty minutes than you’d been in the months before, so it was probably on you, as well as him. 
You carded your fingers through his hair again, waiting.
It took another couple seconds, but Jake steeled himself and looked back at you. 
You hadn’t realized you’d missed the green of them. 
In the height of everything, they’d been hooded and dark, the bright color nearly lost in his blown pupils. But like this, clear and sweet, you thought you might like this better. 
“It wasn’t too much,” you said, simply.
Jake’s shoulders dropped, just slightly, and you saw him wanting to contest it, and so you shook your head. 
“I think that’s a conversation for later,” you said gently, “when we’re both a little more clothed, hmm?”
“Oh,” Jake said, his head turning quickly as he looked around for your pajama shorts. “I can reach—”
You wanted to roll your eyes and you wanted to pinch him, just a little, to get him to listen to you. “That’s not what I meant,” you corrected. “I’m not…I’m not ready to be done. Besides, we han’t gotten you off yet.”
“Oh, that’s okay, that’s not what this was about,” Jake said quickly and you tilted your head, pushing yourself up to sitting. 
Jake was still between your spread knees, your faces close together now, and you pressed a kiss to his cheek, a quick reassurance before you reached between the two of you. 
Jake jumped when your hand slid over the front of his pajama pants, and you felt like cooing. Even through the thick cotton, you felt him respond to your touch. The fabric had to be adding to the illusion, because he felt enormous under the flannel. 
And it was very gentlemanly that this was for you, that he didn’t want this to be a thing about reciprocity, but in a much more tangible way, he’d made you feel infinite, just a few minutes ago. If you could do the same for him, you imagined you’d probably feel just as proud as he had, to see you come undone.
“What’d you say,” you asked innocently, your fingers trailing up the length of him, “about distracting me?”
When you looked back up at Jake, his eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling slowly, deliberate, like he was holding his breath. 
Sweet man. 
You leaned back up to kiss him gently, waiting for him to kiss you back. It took only a moment, and you bit back a moan at the taste of yourself on his lips. You kissed him softly for a minute, gentle lips, gentle tastes, coaxing. When you pulled back, Jake’s lashes fluttered before he opened his eyes to look at you. 
“I don’t know,” you lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I think I’d be pretty distracted if I were choking on your dick, Jake.”
“Jesus,” Jake whispered, and his hips bucked into your touch. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to–”
You licked your lips, his words from earlier coming back to you. “Nothing ‘have to’ about something I’ve been dreaming about for months.”
Jake surged forward, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you to him. You tasted his longing in this kiss, the tight reins he held himself in check with, and how desperately he wanted to give them to you, if only for a moment. You wanted that, and maybe for a little longer. So you kissed him for a moment more, then slid off the couch, settling between his knees like before, but this time, he stayed with his back against the back of the couch, and you were on the ground. 
“Wait,” he said, leaning over to grab a pillow, and gesturing for you to use it under your knees.  
Forget rolling your eyes or pinching him, did you want to marry him?
You shook the thought out of your head, settling on the cushion and reaching up to help Jake slide the pajama pants down. He hooked his boxer briefs along with them, and once they slid past his hips, his cock sprang free. 
“Holy fuck, Seresin,” you whispered, looking up at his face. Jake shrugged, a kind of bashful you hadn’t seen him before. One of his hands fisted his cock loosely, like he needed something to do, and you reached up to pry his fingers away. 
No wonder he walked around like he did. 
As you wrapped your hands around him, replacing his fingers, you couldn’t deny a fresh wave of arousal washed over you. His wasn’t the longest dick you’d seen, but he was thick, a dusty rose color that you’d kill for a lipstick match of—which just made you think of why you were waiting so long to get him in your mouth. 
But he’d teased you, and when you glanced up at Jake, his hands clenched at his sides, his stomach tight, you figured he was due for a taste of his own medicine. 
You kissed up his thighs slowly, loving the contrast of wiry hair over smooth skin, and when you got to his cock, you let out a warm breath over the tip. As you watched, a smooth drop of precum appeared at the edge of his cock, and you frowned in mock sympathy, knowing how worked up he must’ve been from finishing you, while denying himself. 
“Bet you’d beg something pretty yourself, Jake,” you teased softly, licking at the drop of moisture and pulling his salty taste back into your mouth. You hummed, immediately salivating for more, but Jake’s hips jerked up as he choked in a breath.
“Darlin’...” he said, his voice low, and you had mercy on him, not needing to hear the words to know how badly he wanted this. 
“Good thing I’m nicer than you, hmm?” you asked, before you licked at him again. 
Jake’s head fell back limply as you tongued his tip, teasing the sensitive head before you licked up the length of him. This was supposed to be for him, but as you were here, you were lost in the exploration of him—the gorgeous weight of him, the musky scent of him, the rich taste, and the sounds he was making. 
You kind of loved how quiet he was being, when it was clearly costing him dearly. 
It meant that when he did burst, it was going to be loud, and you wanted that break. You kissed your way lightly back to his tip, before opening your mouth and pulling him in. 
You’d been joking earlier, about it being distracting, but fuck. The ache to your jaw was immediate, your mouth open as wide as it could to accommodate his thickness. But it felt so good, deeply satisfying, to be able to hold him like this. Warm and thick in your mouth, stretching you—you moaned around him, imagining him filling you. You hollowed your cheeks lightly, sucking, and Jake groaned above you. 
There it was. 
You pushed yourself deeper onto him, holding your breath and fighting your gag reflex, and Jake’s hands shot out to hold the back of your head, his breath a low moan that was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard. 
You clenched your thighs together, the sound of him and the weight of him had you feeling so empty, while you knew you were physically stretching to your limits. You pulled off of him, a trail of saliva falling from between your lips and his tip, and Jake swore softly at the sight. 
“That mouth, baby,” he groaned, and you felt his thumb trace your lips, smearing your spit across it. You opened your mouth, holding out your tongue and Jake groaned again, feeding his cock back into your mouth.
You felt like he could see straight through you.
That was how it felt, his eyes boring into you as his cock stretched your jaw and his hips pressed slowly deeper. Your nostrils flared and your eyes were streaming again, but you wanted this, wanted him, wanted him to find his release in you, as you had in him. You couldn’t take him all the way down your throat, not now, although you relished the idea of training, so you found a rhythm that seemed to work for both of you. 
Jake’s hips rose slightly to meet you, as you bobbed your head up and down his length, alternating sucking and swirling your tongue over his tip. Your other hands stroked the part of him that you couldn’t fit, squeezing and pulling and you heard Jake’s breathing getting heavier. You were lightheaded, overwhelmed by him, but you couldn’t stop, not for something as simple as air. 
The stretch of him was so good, unrelenting and perfect, and the steadiness with which he held himself in check, it felt like a promise. It made your core ache, throbbing and empty, but you reached up to play with his balls. One of your hands cupped him lightly and then Jake was pulling you off of him. 
You choked at the sudden influx of air as Jake set you back on your thighs, his hands smoothing over your face as he checked you were okay. You couldn’t remember a time you’d felt better, lightheaded and dreamy, but you nodded obediently in answer to the unspoken question, and Jake pulled you to standing. You weren’t sure where he was taking you, but you knew with absolute certainty that you’d follow him.
Mercifully, it was just around the couch, and when you understood his plan, you whimpered slightly, hoping you could take it. You braced your forearms on the armrest of the coach, rocking back on your hips, presenting your ass to him, and Jake was already behind you, covering you. His long arms draped over yours, pressing you into the couch, even as his knee worked between your thighs, spreading your legs. You moaned when you felt his cock slap against your thighs, and one of Jake’s hands fell to between your legs to cup your cunt. 
“Oh, baby,” he whispered, voice somehow both rough and awed. “Is this new? You work yourself up, getting me off?”
You meant to say ‘obviously, asshole’, or ‘as if you didn’t know it’, but what came out was a truly pathetic, “Jake, please…”
He chuckled, his body stretched over yours, and the sound broke off when he guided his cock towards your core. 
“Honey, you’re so wet and warm, fuck. Need to be in you, baby, need to feel this tight cunt—”
“Do it already,” you cried, rewarded by another deep laugh from Jake, and then you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, because that thick cock was pushing into you. 
It was a good thing he was holding you up. 
Your body was shaking to accommodate him, already loosened from your orgasms and his fingers, but the stretch still bordered on painful, and you dropped your head to your forearms as he pushed into you. You weren’t doing anything, you were simply there, letting him fuck into you slowly, and you couldn’t think of anywhere better to be. 
“Fuck, honey, you’re so tight,” Jake groaned, and you knew he was trying to go slow, but that didn’t make the stretch any more attainable.
“Need you,” you managed. “Please, Jake, want to be full—”
His hips slammed forward and you cried out as he bottomed out into you. 
You felt impaled, you felt him in your throat, you felt like this was everything you could want and you trembled but held him in you. You felt full, and it was so, so good.  
“Honey,” Jake gritted, “I’ve got to move, but I need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m good,” you whispered, “let me feel you.”
He groaned, another gorgeous iteration of that sound, and when he pulled back, you clawed at the edge of the couch. It was like he was shifting your center of gravity, but the pull was re-orienting. You had no choice but to surrender to it. 
Your whole universe was balanced on the edge of the sofa. 
Jake’s thick cock, stuffing you. Jake’s strong chest, pressed against your back, his arms holding you up, pulling you to him. Jake’s sweat, dripping off of him and onto you, sweet and sticky and heady. The pull and push of him, overwhelming and deep, remaking you. 
You weren’t going to cum from this; it was too much, but it was too good to stop. You’d already had yours, and you could hear how good it was for Jake, could feel it in the tight clench of his hands and the short length of his thrusts. 
Jake groaned, a throaty sound that jolted through you as he pulled you back onto his dick.
“Sweetheart you feel so good…is this what we’ve been missing out on? This tight as fuck cunt, that I can just feel clenching around me? Touch yourself, honey, I need to feel you come again, want to feel you come on my cock.”
You couldn’t be sure if you were crying or babbling, but when Jake told you to play with yourself, you summoned your boneless limbs to do as he asked. 
When your fingers brushed your clit, you immediately pulled back; it was too much. 
“I can’t,” you gasped, hands falling back to brace against the couch. “It’s too much, Jake, I can’t–”
“Poor baby,” Jake gritted, and one of his hands smoothed down your back before dipping around to your stomach and finding his way to your clit. Your knees buckled and your hips jerked away from his hand, but a moment later you were pressing into him, needing the perfect pain of his touch. 
“Honey, you’re doing so good,” Jake’s voice was tight. “God, you feel unreal, clenching down on me like that. Are you gonna cum again? Is this pussy going to cum for me?” 
“Jake,” you sobbed, his name the only prayer you could manage.
“That’s it, baby,” he soothed, his touch gentling, even as his hips sped up. “I’m almost there; I know you are too. Where can I come, honey, where do you want me–”
“Jake,” you moaned, your head thrashing from side to side. It was too much, it wasn’t enough, but you knew you needed him. “In me…please..Jake...”
“Holy fuck,” Jake groaned. “Baby, are you sure I–”
You bucked back into him, the thought of losing his heat and his presence nearly unbearable. “Need you,” you whimpered. “Jake, please–”
“I’m right here,” Jake’s hips pistoned impossibly faster. “Fuck, I’m here, I’ve got you. Shit, honey, you feel so good, you’re gonna make me cum, baby, please–”
He ground his hips deep into you and rolled his fingers over your clit once, twice, and you shattered. Your legs gave out and you felt Jake grunt as he caught you, his hips pounding into you a couple more times and he stilled with another beautiful moan as he pumped his release into you. You felt him, hot and pulsing inside of you, and you wanted to curl up into that feeling forever—warm, full, safe. 
Jake summoned some kind of strength as he turned the both of you, him settling onto the ground and you on his lap, your cunt clenching around him, like you still couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving. You turned into his chest, and Jake wrapped his arms around you, cradling you, somehow knowing how intense that had been and that you needed the warmth of his chest before you could come back down. 
You were shaking, incredibly exhausted but deeply satisfied. And as you drifted back, you became aware of the tangible things around you—Jake’s chest hair prickling your face. Stranger Things still playing, on the TV. The cool air in the room around you, the sticky remains between your thighs. 
You lifted your head to find Jake looking down at you, his expression careful, like he was worried what he’d see. Your eyes closed again, and you managed a smile before you turned your face into his chest again, pressing a kiss to whatever was closest. His hands were locked around your back, but you could feel his thumb brushing over your skin, lightly. And it was wild, that that was what had started this all, and if you’d had the energy for it, you would’ve laughed. 
You could deal with the repercussions later, what this meant for your roommate situation, if your thigh was any worse for wear, any of that. Because that motion, that comforting gesture that Jake didn’t even seem to be aware he was doing—that meant that this was always where you were gonna end up. 
//
tagging: @bradshawsbitch @callsign-fangirl @laracrofted @datemephoenix @mandylove1000 @withahappyrefrain @gigisimsonmars @babyonboardfloyd @blue-aconite @mxgyver @hangmanbrainrot @lt-bradshaw @wildbornsiren @fuckyeahhangman @double-j @sebsxphia @javihoney @jadore-andor @teacupsandtopgun @thedroneranger
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My fictional Valentines 💘
Standards were raised by these men. I could say that they’re the reason I’d be spending this day alone (but that’s not entirely true is it) so congratulations, authors!! You’ve ruined all real men (🤢) for me. So, thank you??
The culprits are to be found down below!!
♡ @moni-logues ‘s AFL Hobi
if I could bring one character to life and make him mine, THIS IS HIM!! Universe are you listening??????
♡ @gimmethatagustd ‘s Himbo Tae
I need this sweet dummy in my life. Would not get married, but for him I WOULD!!!! Dinner? Ready. House? Clean
♡ @here4kpopfics ‘s Lovebug Kook
if his love for me is not going to be as epic as Kook’s for reader??? Yeah, no thankyou gtfo
♡ @here2bbtstrash ‘s Deep End Namjoon
honestly manifesting this man not only for me but to EVERYONE
♡ @theharrowing ‘s D&D Yoongi
This man IRONS. OK. And he’s hot AF. What else do you need in life????
♡ @minisugakoobies ‘s Its You San
cmon. It’s San and he’s a menace. He’d eat me alive and I’d love that thankyou!! Also he’d take care of me at the metro!!!!!!!!
♡ @chryblossomjjk ‘s Imagine Koo
Model Koo who’s ripped and also whipped for ME? Yes, add to cart, checkout and ship him to me asap!
Happy Valentine’s Day! 💘
also pls if you have more of these man, tag them and support your fav authors 💘💘💘
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chvnnie · 2 years
Text
Non-Stop
bang chan x reader
word count: 2.6k
genre: fluffy smut - MINORS DNI
warnings: college bf chan, virgin reader, mentions of masturbation, little bit of nipple playing, fingering, first time, protected sex, dirty talk (chan gets a lil bold the more comfortable reader gets). if i missed anything - PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
summary: everything is easier with chan.
kofi request: “Can i pls request reader experiencing their first time with bang chan? He would be the most amazing first ever bf, lets be real. Pls make it fluffy, adorable, and smutty.”
a/n: the way my heart was melting writing this. i’ve never written any virgin reader/member so this was an exciting way to test my boundaries as an author, and chan was perfect for it. thank you to the person who donated and requested this fic - i had so much fun with it! also this is just pure porn lmao have fun
this is a work for fiction. this fic in no way represents bang chan as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.
taglist: @lix-ables, @rachalixie, @agustd-essert, @gibbysupremeacyisreal, @katieraven, @miamormi, @whatudowhennooneseesyou - to be added, please send an ask or comment
Chan’s nose bonked against yours, sending you into a fit of giggles against his lips. “Ouch.” He said with a smile, his own laughs following yours.
You propped your elbows on his shoulders, fingers twirling his hair and hips moving until you were chest to chest. “Careful.” You voice light, giggles continuing to slip through.
“Mm, I’ll try.” Any follow up was silenced by his lips, the new angle allowing him to kiss you deeper.
When you had pitched the idea of studying in your dorm instead of the library, you should’ve known it would end up like this; textbooks long forgotten, 6 pm lattes growing cold, thoughts about anything other than the man whose lap you were seated on completely ignored.
It was impossible to focus on anything but Chan. You could only watch him chew on his pencil, tip of his tongue peeking out occasionally, for so long. To be surprised by the current predicament would be ignorant. It was only a matter of time before you climbed onto his lap, pouting and begging for kisses that would eventually turn into a make out session that consumed your thoughts until the next one.
What was surprising, however, was the hot pool of need growing in your lower belly and making your legs shake. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling - if anything it’s one that greets you any time Chan blinks. But never has it been so overwhelming, so consuming that your mind stopped responding, letting your body take control.
The hands at your hips move up, the hem of your shirt being pushed up with them. Chan’s hands now rest on the skin above your shorts. They’re cold against your body, which was growing hotter by the second. When he squeezes your sides, you pray that the whimper you released isn’t too embarrassing.
Chan pulled back, eyes narrowed with concern. “Everything good?”
“I’m good. Very good. I just…” you voice trails off, eyes focusing on the strand of his hair you were playing with.
“Just what? Hey-“ Your shirt fell as he cupped your face, tilting it so you were looking at him. “Talk to me. Let me know how I can help.”
But words were too hard - the stifling heat and pure embarrassment of having to voice your wants leaving you helpless. You swallowed a few times, trying to stabilize your breath. There was no one in the world you trusted more than Chan, no one more gentle and loving. Things were easy with him, which helped you gain the confidence to find your words.
“Will you touch me?” The whisper was faint, barely finding his ears. You pressed your forehead against his, hands now holding the wrists that cradled you.
Chan’s eyes closed as his breath hitched, and you could feel the increase of his heart rate against your chest. It was a big request; no one, including Chan, had ever touched you below the waist before. It's not like you two haven't both desperately wanted it. You had tried multiple times, each attempt vastly different from the last with the same ending.
You, stopping Chan right as he reached your bottoms, for one reason or the other. The timing didn’t feel right. You changed your mind. You were scared. And Chan, every time, no matter how raging his hard on was, would reassure you and validate your reason for ending it before it could even begin. You two could just cuddle instead. You could just watch a movie. Chan could just play with your boobs for a bit. No matter the reason, Chan respected your no, and never made you feel bad about it.
But tonight was different. You were burning from the inside out, body threatening to burn the dorm building down from its heat. You had to know what Chan felt like. His fingers, his tongue, his-
“Are you sure?” He whispered, eyes opening slowly. They were swimming with lust, deep seas of brown making your insides turn.
“Yes.” It was the easiest, quickest decision you’ve ever made. You’ve had enough. You wanted to know all the ways Chan can love you. “Really, really sure.”
You sealed the confirmation with a kiss, one that Chan let grow deeper as he lowered you onto the bed. Unlike the playful way he kissed you just moments before, his lips moved in a way that had your toes tingling - the love behind the movements of his tongue only served to increase your need. You barely noticed when he pulled away to strip you of your shirt and his, so consumed in the taste of Chan.
The strokes of his fingertips were comparable to a paintbrush; twirling and softly brushing every part of the canvas beneath him. When he painted your neck, your skin pimpled. Your nipples, you moaned. Finally he was painting the top of your shorts, brushes coloring underneath the waistline.
“Okay?” Chan asked, halting briefly to wait for you.
This wasn’t like before. Your body didn’t tense up, legs clenching in fear of what could happen. Not that you ever felt unsafe with Chan, but more so with yourself. What if you weren’t what he wanted? What if your body wasn’t enough for him?
But the way Chan stared at you, as if he was in the presence of a goddess, showed you that it was silly to ever feel that way. That it was okay to give yourself over to pleasure and let the need for him take over, because he was drowning in sheer desperation for you.
“Okay.” You said with a nod, hips slightly lifting to show him you meant it. He rid you of your shorts and panties at once, fingers slowly beginning to paint down your thighs.
Chan pulled back a bit, enough to watch the movement of his hands. Landing on your left knee, he pushed it up, angling you in the perfect position to take you all in.
If it was anyone else, you would be embarrassed - eyes floating up your exposed legs until they reach your core. The way his eyes, dark with desire, soften just a bit at the way you shine under the yellow glow of your dorm lights. It would be so embarrassing to have someone hold your knee in place while he studies every inch of your body.
But it wasn’t embarrassing. It was Chan.
You reached down, holding the hand that was on your knee and giving it a firm squeeze. The pressure brought Chan’s eyes back up, a loving smile on his face as he squeezed you back.
He touched you, one finger barely brushing over your folds. The mild touch sent shivers down your spine, whines tumbling out. Already, he felt so much better- his one finger covering more of you than two of yours did. It was too light, too little for the fire you felt.
“It’s okay.” You whispered, eyes focused on where he was timidly playing with you. “Touch me more. The way you want to.”
Chan shook his head. “If I do that, I won't be able to stop myself.”
“Don’t. Don’t stop yourself.”
Meeting your eyes, he slid his finger down until the tip was pressed against your entrance. He wanted to watch the way you react to his finger, knowing you were just going to get more of him later. And fuck, did you look pretty - jaw dropping as he eased his way inside, eyes threatening to roll back the further he got. You had touched yourself many times before, but nothing could compare to this. Nothing could compare to the intense wave of pleasure you got from his finger alone.
Testing the waters, Chan pumped his finger in and out slowly, going deeper each time. It was gentle, the way he twisted his finger and got closer to your weak spot. Soft moans tumbled out, body aching for him to make you feel even better.
“More?” You asked, hips grinding down on the finger inside you.
This time, he didn’t ask if you were sure, pushing a second finger in you without so much of a warning. A strangled cry left your throat, head thrown back as he stretched you out. Your chest was rising rapidly, breaths out of control at this new feeling.
The first few thrusts were gentle, mainly because you were squeezing him too tight to give you anything more, but once you eased up, body giving into him, Chan sped up. The palm of his hand hit your mound, slick making the small collision echo in your ears. You wouldn't know how to describe this feeling - so full in so many different ways. It’s like he knew what would make you feel good, even though he had never touched you like this before.
“Chan, feels good-“ You reached up and grabbed your boobs, squeezing to both hold on to something and to feel even better.
Chan was so close to breaking.
He moved one of your hands to take over, nipple pinched in between his fingers as he picked up the pace. “Yeah? You like this?”
You nodded, a string of whines your only verbal response.
“Good, because I fucking love this. Fuck. Can’t wait for you to squeeze my cock like this.” At the mention of what was to come, your back arched, whines increasing in volume. “Oh, you want that, don’t you? Want to know how good I can make you feel?”
“Need.” You corrected. Because it wasn’t just a want anymore - if he didn’t fuck you in the next few minutes you would combust.
With a smug smile, he pulled his fingers out, playing with your folds to gather more of your slick. You watched as Chan brought his fingers to his lips, tongue peeking out to lick. It was sinful, the way his tongue twisted around his fingers to clean every inch. Eyes rolling back and deep grunts made you long to see what he would look like between your legs.
“God, you’re sweeter than I imagined.”
The words made your body flush, almost convincing you that you could finish from the way he spoke alone.
Once he sucked his fingers clean, Chan leaned off the bed, digging into his backpack to grab a condom. He placed the foil wrapper on your stomach before taking off his sweats, watching the way your eyes widened when you saw his length for the first time.
It was embarrassing, the way you felt drool fill the front of your mouth. A cock shouldn't make you so needy, especially considering you had never taken one before.
But it was who it belonged to - you wanted Chan, so bad that you would happily drool over his cock like it was the first time over and over again.
You watched as he unwrapped the condom, sliding the tight latex over himself. He fisted his cock a few times, testing to make sure it was snug enough before he looked at you.
“Ready?”
Of course you were. If anything, you were more than ready. But you couldn’t help the nervousness that was bubbling - he was large, and while he had already prepped you a bit, you still couldn’t help but worry about how much the first stretch would hurt.
He cupped your face, tilting it up to meet his soft eyes. “We don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
You shook your head, fingers wrapping around the wrist that held your cheek. “I’m ready. I am. Can you just kiss me? While you’re doing it?”
The depths of Chan’s love showed in the way he smiled at you, closing the gap to find your lips. It was so sweet, the movement of his lips against yours, and when the tip of his cock pressed against your entrance, he swallowed every gasp and whine you gave. He didn’t stop kissing you as he pushed his member inside, groaning at the grip you had on him.
“Tell me.” He mumbled against your lips, your shallow breaths fanning his face. “Tell me if it's too much.”
Your lips trembled, body shaking as you nodded, desperately searching for his lips again. You swallowed each other’s moans and whines, and before you knew it, Chan’s hips were flush against yours, completely inside of you.
You broke the kiss, deeply breathing as you took time to acknowledge everything you were feeling. Pain from the new stretch, love from the way Chan was kissing your jawline, overwhelmed from the heat of your body making you sweat with pleasure. It was all so much, and not enough at once.
Chan kissed up your cheek, landing on your forehead as he slowly pulled out. “Can I?”
You nodded, unable to do much else, hoping that he would understand your lack of ability to speak right now.
It was Chan. Of course he understood.
Slowly, he pushed back in, and the pain eased just a bit. He didn’t pull out much - only about midway the first few times before thrusting all the way back in. The pace stayed steady as he watched you, waiting for his signal to either stop or do more.
It came when he was bottomed out, tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot. Your jaw fell slack, moans making Chan’s skin pimple.
“There?” He asked as he pulled out, only to push back in a bit rougher.
You nodded your head, legs wrapping around his waist to cling to him. Chan did it again, this time hitting it more spot on due to the new angle. Slowly, his pace picked up, length of his thrusts getting shorter as he found the perfect rhythm to fuck you.
His head nuzzled in your neck, breaths fanning over your sweaty skin. “Fuck, baby. Love the way you take my cock.”
You clenched around him, only encouraging to go faster and talk more.
“God, I’m not going to be able to stop. Never gonna be able to stop fucking this tight cunt.” Hands flew to his hair, pulling hard enough to get Chan to moan, the volume of his sinful words increasing. “Gonna let me? Gonna let me fuck you whenever I want?”
“Ye-yes-“
“Good. I told you I wasn’t going to be able to stop.”
Chan pushed himself up, hands resting on either side of your head. He slammed into you harder, and while the stretch still hurt, it was easy to push to the back of your mind, especially when he smiled at you with so much love while fucking you like he couldn’t care less.
“Chan. Close-“
“Me too.” He grunted, hips sloppily moving as pleasure overwhelmed him. “Do it. Wanna know how you feel when you cum.”
Two more thrust and you were thrown into the deep in, legs spasming and cries strained as you came around Chan’s cock, just like he asked. He hissed at the feeling, pausing as he was bottomed out to fill the condom.
Your legs fell, body limp and mind blank from your orgasm. Chan pulled out, causing you to winch slightly from the soreness you were already experiencing.
He climbed off the bed, and you whined, grabbing his arm to try and bring him back to you.
“Come on.” He laughed, hands tucking underneath your sides to try and pull you off the bed. “Gotta pee and clean up before we can rest.”
You shook your head, eyes fluttering shut with physical and emotional exhaustion. “Don’t wanna. Wanna snuggle.”
“We’re going to after. Now get up, or I’ll carry you.”
One eye opened, a playful smile stretching across your face. Chan sighed, regretting giving you the option. He picked you up, letting you hug him like a koala and carried you to the en-suite bathroom.
“Do we have to do this every time?” You asked, nuzzling your head into your neck.
“What, clean up?” You nodded. “Yes, every single time.”
You threw your head back, loudly groaning in faux frustration, making Chan laugh. “God.” You said sarcastically. “Sex is the worst.”
©: chvnnie 2022
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solneur · 1 year
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— ENHYPEN TEACHING YOU HOW TO DRIVE!
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SYNOPSIS. how enhypen would teach you how to drive.
PAIRINGS. enhypen x gn!reader
GENRE. mostly crack,, a lil fluff ig?
WARNINGS. ni-ki’s kinda careless lol... (PLS DO NOT EXECUTE IN REAL LIFE!!!) but that’s it i think
WORD COUNT. 0.5k (511)
AUTHOR’S NOTE. i started learning how to drive a few days ago and it inspired me to make this ! pls do remember that this is fictional and it does not portray the idols’ behavior in real life !!
HEESEUNG — makes fun of you throughout the whole thing.
we already know heeseung, he’s a huge tease. as soon as your hands grip onto the steering wheel, he’s already making fun of you. mans is laughing throughout the entirety of the drive, only occasionally giving you tips. he’s especially cackling when you accidentally hit the curb stop.
“i have never seen anyone this bad at driving.”
JAY — the quiet observer.
probably the most patient one out of everyone. sits quietly in the passenger’s seat while you drive. mumbles a “good job” when you do something right and confidently takes hold of the steering wheel when you start to panic and don’t know what to do. is surprisingly calm when you park the car, which scares you a little.
“not too bad.”
JAKE — extremely supportive.
is cheering you on from the passenger’s seat. he’s hyping you up for hours. gets very excited when you park correctly for the first time. even when you accidentally do something wrong, jake is super supportive and assures you that it’s okay. his constant energy amazes you, and you do your best to not let his efforts go to waste.
“see, i knew you could do it!”
SUNGHOON — worries too much.
as soon as you step on the pedal, he’s already a nervous wreck. sits stiff in the passenger’s seat while you drive. acts like a drama king when you step on the brakes too hard (according to him). is screaming bloody murder for his life when you make a mistake, and you have to tell him to shut up so you can concentrate and get it right.
“no!! i’m too handsome to die!!!”
SUNOO — the thorough explainer.
is really good at explaining how to maneuver the car. stays calm while you drive, never missing his cue on when to tell you to slow down or come to a stop. he makes driving seem like a piece of cake, and that’s exactly how it feels like when he’s the one teaching you. has a small smile on his face when he sees you driving with ease.
“i told you it would be easy.”
JUNGWON — stresses caution while driving.
emphasizes safety and is constantly reminding you to be careful while you drive. more worried about you than himself. is glancing at you from time to time to make sure you’re okay. hovers a little, but it’s more endearing than annoying. holds his arm out in front of you when you have to hit the brakes unexpectedly because he wants you to be safe.
“please, please, please be careful.”
NI-KI — a little reckless.
this man literally does not care. if the light turns yellow, he’s yelling at you to go faster despite your protests. if you run into a car waiting to turn into the road you’re driving on, he’s telling you to pass them. will not hesitate to make some rash decisions. however, you still follow the road laws and keep him in check, leaving him huffing and puffing in the passenger’s seat.
“what are you doing? go!!!”
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© solneur, 2023. do not copy, repost, or translate.
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nagisalovescorpse · 11 months
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☆ 𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗹𝘀 , jean kirschtein
☆ ; jean kirschtein × fem¡reader ☆ ; inspired by the video clip of the song "animals" by maroon 5. jean is a sociopathic butcher obsessed with you, the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on, to the point where it crosses the line. ☆ ; this story contains voyeurism, stalking, invasion of private property, mention of mental illnes and drugs, male masturbation, female masturbation, fingering, penetration, unprotected sex (this is fiction! use protection irl), creampie, breeding kink, using of pet names as "doll" or "angel" etc., half (?) non-consensual sexual behavior ☆ ; i picture jean as the most respectful and healthy man EVER, but i just get so turned on by the scenario of the insanely hot stalker that is completely and madly obsessed with you, so pls let it slide for this time. also english is not my first language so pls be kind and correct any grammar/lexical/whatever mistake you find. enjoy your reading. ☆ ; 2,4k words, not revised ☆ ; minors/ageless blog do not interact
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i'm sick of your little game.
everyone may think you're a good girl, but i know who you are. with that innocent look of yours and doe eyes, do you really think i wouldn't have noticed what you were doing?
the day you first walked into the butcher shop where i work, clean face with no make up and disgustingly short skirt, biting your nails in a sweet and sensual way, i saw you sneaking glances at me over the counter.
you seriously wanted me to fuck you in front of everyone back then? because is basically what you were asking me with your eyes.
from that day our game began, i saw you walking down that street every morning, passing in front of the shop as if you didn't see me, but i know that instead you were perfectly aware of it.
i noticed the provocative way you had of pulling your hair at the back of your neck when it was too hot, throwing your head back to seek some relief from the heat, what were you trying to show me? the way you'd throw your head back, baring your tender neck for my kisses and bites when i finally fucked you like god intended?
not to mention your outfits, doll, you're a fucking eye candy in shorts and mini skirts, but i hate that even others can see your beautiful body to the point i feel phisically sick just thinking about it.
you always try to seduce me, don't you? so desperate for me, doll, you act like you're in heat. at the butcher's shop you act shy and look the other way, «a package of sausages.» you tell me. seriously? is this your way of letting me know you want me to fuck you?
but it doesn't matter, angel, i love how pure and chaste you are. do you know what i'd love more? fuck the sin out of you. when this game comes to an end i will give you your reward.
you play it hard to get, isn't it? you stubbornly continue not to look at me and pretend that i don't exist, but we both know that there is much more between us. when you get home in the evening you leave the light on for me, so that i can see through the window of your room while you slowly undress and lie down between the crumpled sheets of your bed.
it doesn't matter if it's cold or it's raining, i love standing across the street to watch you, just the way you want.
you know i'm there, that turns you on. you caress your stomach, hold your breast in one hand, slowly sliding the other one over the elastic band of your panties. you are so sweet as you pleasure yourself, you arch your back and squirm as you climax.
i'd love to take care of your pleasure. as much as i love watching you touching yourself and imagining the ethereal sound of your moans, my cock would do much better.
you're so beautiful, doll, i bet my dick could barely fit in you. i think about it while i look at you and in the dim light i touch myself, reaching the peak when you're satisfied and panting between the sheets, i wish i could cum inside you and maybe make you the perfect mama you'd be. sweet as an angel, beautiful as a doll.
but you play too much for my liking and i'm starting to lose my temper.
you barely look at me and you do everything to piss me off, like the other night when you got drunk at the club and smeared yourself on that guy. you're crossing the line and i don't like that at all.
i see you when you leave the house, even if you don't turn to look at me as i walk behind you, i don't like how you smile at other men and the sweet looks you give them. don't think you can win this game by acting like a slut, be careful to abide by our rules or i'll end up getting really angry.
tonight at the club you're acting really bad, all your friend's fault, she's a very bad influence for you.
you're wearing a shiny black minidress, you're lovely, but the others have noticed it too. i must muster all my self-control not to lay hands on every man who approaches you tonight.
what are you doing? your friend takes something from her bag, but i can't see clearly from here. i force myself to observe what she has in her hands under the purple lights of the club, it's a bag, a transparent bag with two small colored buttons. pills.
oh no, doll, what's on your mind? do not take them, do not tak… and you took them. seriously, do i always have to take care of you?
you dance and drink and get drunk, you're behaving really badly tonight, angel, what happened to your purity? you can barely stand up, i don't know how you managed to call a cab to go home, luckily i'm here to keep an eye on you.
i see you enter the building where you live, i imagine you go up the stairs wobbling on your heels, clouded by alcohol and drugs, finally after what seems like an eternity the light in your room comes on, you throw your bag on the chair, take off your heels and dress, you just put on a white undershirt and throw yourself into the sheets, without even bothering to turn off the lamp on the bedside table.
oh darling, what have you been up to? i enter the code to open the door to the building, i go up the stairs as i have imagined doing countless times, only this time the game is over and i'm on my way to claim my prize. you left your apartment door open, doll, imagine if some psycho walked in and tried to hurt you. luckily i'm there to protect you, angel.
there's a part of your house i've never seen since it can't be seen from the window, your apartment is messy and smells like instant food and women's perfume, i'll have to remember to cook you some food everyday, doll.
your gym bag is still in the hall, a pair of panties hang out of the pocket, they are lacy pink, just as adorable as you. your things are scattered around, all kinds of makeup and cosmetics are stacked on the bathroom counter, even if you don't need that stuff to be beautiful, just imagine our daily bickering about how messy you are, i'd love to have to deal with your items everyday in this house.
i nearly trip over your heels when i get to your room, you only sleep on one side of the bed, leaving the other empty for me.
i look at you, you were so tired that you fell asleep immediately, your face is relaxed and if i could stop time and look at you forever i would without thinking twice.
i lie down on my side of the bed, still dressed, i look at you for a long time, it can be minutes or whole hours, it started to rain and the loud noise covers even the sound of my thoughts. the only thing i hear other than the sound of the water is your breathing, it reminds me how nice it would be to hear you pant for real this time.
i reach out and caress your leg, it's the first time i touch you, your skin is smooth and soft exactly as i imagined it.
fuck, my dick is already hard, what are you doing to me, doll? i keep touching you, fascinated by the perfection of your face. you are the most beautiful woman i have ever laid eyes on and above all you are mine. completely mine.
i run my fingers through your soft hair, the night's makeup has smudged a bit, but to me it just makes you even more innocent and pure. i forgive you for the way you approached that guy, angel, but i'll make sure no one else bothers you now that the game is over.
you move in your sleep, towards me. you intertwine a leg with mine and cuddle up to my chest as if you want protection from me. i hold you and continue to caress your arms and hair, you stir in your sleep rubbing your soft breasts against me.
you've wanted this all along, haven't you? i feel how your breathing gets heavy, are you getting excited in your sleep? your leg presses against the bulge in my pants, making it hard for me to think straight.
«doll.» i murmur to you who are completely above me. in one quick movement i unbutton my jeans, my cock is fully erect and craving you, you rub against the tip, i can feel how wet you are through the fabric of your panties.
i can't help it, i masturbate between your legs that squeeze my hips, i kiss your neck, your collarbones, i smell the scent of your shampoo mixed with the fabric softener you use for the sheets. you moan, your hips move by themselves because your body knows, even before your mind, who you belong to.
then you wake up. you're confused, darling, it's understandable. at first you don't get what's going on but you don't walk away. you stay in my arms, enjoying my kisses and my attentions.
«what–» you sigh. «is this a dream?» «this is. it's your dream.» i answer you, sucking gently the sensitive skin under your ear.
«i– i don't understand.» «shh. lay back, spread your legs for me, doll. mh? can you do it?» you do it. you spread your legs for me as the good girl i know you are, i touch you softly down there, caressing you through your panties, you shiver and sigh, i bet it's a lot different than when you do it on your own.
«oh, fuck.» you curse when i reach under the fabric, you're ridiculously wet for me, so much so that my finger slides inside you without problems, i can easily imagine how good you'll be at taking my cock.
i lean over you to kiss you, you don't resist and your tongue wraps around mine, you cling to my shoulders and moan against my lips as your hips meet the movements of my hand.
«a–another one.» you whine. «another what?» i tease you. my sweet angel wants to be fucked in heaven, i know you want another finger, so just think how embarrassingly good you'll feel when i'll thrust my dick inside you. «a–another kiss.»
another kiss? oh, my pure angel, sweet doll. you're so chaste, heavenly creature. «i'll kiss you all night long if you want.» you like when i kiss you, don't you? you sigh so softly that i'm starting to think i'm going to lose my mind very soon.
i kiss you wherever it feels good, your neck, your forehead, your breasts, your stomach, you crave the touch of my lips on your body, but in the end your mouth always seeks mine.
i put another finger inside you, your knees tighten around my hips every time i find that sweet spot that makes your back arch, tomorrow i'll have your nail marks on my shoulders, but i don't mind the idea of you making me yours.
«do you want to try to take my cock, doll?» you moan, i know that these two fingers aren't enough for you and that only my dick can fill you properly.
«use your words, darling.» «put it in me.» you cry out. «i want to be filled.» «your every wish.» i smile.
i place the tip on your opening, you are so wet that i have to push just a little to slip inside you, slowly your velvety walls envelop me, you cling to the sheets and stifle a cry.
«shh, don't worry, it's okay. you are very good at taking it, doll.» i tell you, as i thrust deep inside you. you squeeze my cock so tight that it seems that you want to cut it, you are tight as a virgin, angel, inside you feels like heaven.
i kiss you passionately, a couple of tears run down your temples and disappear in your hair, but you have to resist only a little longer before the pain turns into pleasure.
when you cum your walls tighten around me making me feel insanely good, i keep thrusting deep into you, nicely and slowly.
«doll, if you keep holding me like this i'll end up cumming inside you.» «c-cum inside,» you sigh, leaving me speechless. «please, let me feel you.» «do you want to get pregnant? do you want to become a beautiful angel-mama?» «yes– fuck. yes. cum inside daddy, please.»
i hold your hands above your head, and i cum inside you with the last strong thrusts. i kiss you deeply, enjoying the afterglow of your orgasm as you tremble and i slowly move my hips against yours.
«who do you belong to, doll? i wanna hear it.» your eyes are blank, you moan in ecstasy of the senses, it takes you a while to answer. «i don't know.»
i laugh. «seriously, angel. don't be a fool, i wanna hear you saying who you belong to.» «i– i'm telling the truth. i don't know who you are.»
…what?
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