Tumgik
#plus in this case it works as a way to get danny to gotham and get him to join the batfam which is great
acadjonne · 10 months
Text
so hear me out
tim drake and danny fenton are twins
jack drake really did have a brother named eddie, once upon a time. eddie drake also had a wife, and she was expecting twins, but of course gotham is gotham. right before the twins would be born, eddie died, but his wife was brought to the hospital and lived long enough for the twins to be born.
jack and janet drake adopt the older twin, tim, because people knew that eddie and his wife were going to have a baby, and they had been considering having a kid themselves. but no one knew the drakes were expecting twins, and jack and janet don’t want two babies, so they arrange for the younger twin to be anonymously given up.
well, through some insane miscommunication, the other twin ends up in illinois, where he’s adopted a few months later by jack and maddie fenton. of course, because danny was given up anonymously, there’s no information whatsoever about his birth family
tim finds out he’s got a twin when he’s eleven or twelve by finding his birth certificate and an ultrasound print in his father’s safe. he starts looking for his twin, but doesn’t find a whole lot on his own.
(even when tim becomes robin, he never thinks of mentioning his twin to bruce.)
when they’re 14, tim meets sam manson at a gala in gotham. she’s originally from gotham as well, but moved to amity park as a kid, so this was her first time back in a long time. danny had just recently found out he was adopted, so of course when sam sees tim and he looks exactly like danny, she puts two and two together and approaches tim.
once sam gets back to amity, she puts danny and tim in contact. they agree that it sounds super unlikely on paper since danny was found in a hospital in chicago, while tim was born in gotham, and danny’s birthday is a couple days off from tim’s because no one knew exactly what day he was actually born, but they also look way too much alike for it to be coincidence.
of course, before they can get a dna test done, danny’s portal accident happens, and he gets super squirley about it after that whenever tim mentions it. plus they’re both minors and the drakes are never around to actually consent to it so it would be kinda weird for tim to insist on a dna test at that point.
but they stay in touch for the next few years, both expertly dodging any mention of their hero activities, and even manage to meet up for their sixteenth birthday. they hang out for a weekend in cleveland because it’s neutral ground, pretty much right smack in the middle between amity park and gotham. then, a few weeks after the events of d-stabilized, shit hits the fan.
valerie knows vlad is also plasmius, and after giving (dani) ellie a good head start, she starts going after him, outing him to the whole town in the process. of course, vlad assumes danny is the one who told valerie, so he outs danny as phantom as well. vlad manages to shake valerie, the fentons, and the giw, but danny isn’t so lucky, and gets captured by the giw.
of course, once they find out he’s been captured, sam, tucker, and jazz start planning to break him out and get him somewhere safe. obviously they can’t take danny to either the manson or foley houses, the giw would check there first, and they can’t take him to jazz’s college dorm either. gotham has a lot of ambient ectoplasm though, and the giw (probably) wouldn’t go anywhere near batman’s territory even with the anti-ecto acts, so sam calls tim and asks if they can take danny to him once they rescue him.
of course, tim had no idea about anything going on in amity park, not that team phantom knew that. turns out the giw have been covering things up forever, and the extremely high ectoplasm leaking from the fentons’ portal doesn’t help either. but of course sam assumes he knows because most of amity park is actively protesting against the giw and demanding danny’s release and it’s about to start getting violent any second now, and if it’s such big news in amity then of course tim knows danny is phantom by now, right?
but tim’s able to keep hold of himself long enough to let sam know that yes, danny can come to gotham, all of team phantom can come to gotham once they’ve rescued him, and once he’s let her go he immediately goes to the other bats and sounds the alarms
so queue the justice league showing up in amity park to deal with the giw, and inquiries about the legality of the anti-ecto acts and how they overlap with meta protection laws get raised, and danny gets rescued, and team phantom is evacuated to gotham.
once things have calmed down, tim tells danny about being red robin and they bond over hero stuff. danny fixes jason’s pit-induced anger problems because holy shit dude your ectoplasm is rancid. bruce of course takes on look at danny and decides to adopt him.
anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk.
498 notes · View notes
deadsetobsessions · 10 days
Text
Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6]
“I’m having a child.”
Danny stared at Batman.
“…Uh, congrats?”
Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. “It’s you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.”
Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batman’s hands and into the bay. He doesn’t even feel bad about littering this time because, “Begone, fruitloop!”
Wait, no, that’s not what he meant.
“I mean- I have parents!”
“Not for long.” Batman muttered and then did a double take. “You have parents? How?”
Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batman’s mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didn’t was somehow convinced that he “worked alone” or some bullshit like that. “Are you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.”
“They’re still… alive?”
“And kicking,” Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. “Mostly the kicking part, though.” He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.
“I see.”
“I’m charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.”
Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.
“Sweet. There’s a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.” Danny pointed.
“Of course. Tell me everything.”
The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.
Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.
——
“Hey, Tim?”
Tim woke up from his Power Nap. “Huh?”
“Phantom’s complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.”
Tim blinked. “Uh.. what does that have to do with me?”
Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. “Just in case the rumor about the Wayne’s sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantom’s back. ”
“You… want to confront Batman.”
“Hey, man, Phantom’s a friend and it’s ride or die.” Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. “And if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.”
“Batman doesn’t come out unless it’s dark, though? Or for the Justice League.” Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his “to go to” list. That’s where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.
“Then we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.”
“You’ll definitely need it,” Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.
“Shut up,” Danny playfully shoved Tim. “Wait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isn’t being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?”
Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Danny’s carpeted living room. “Dunno about his identity,” he lied to Danny, like a liar. “But Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so there’s probably enough gray space there.”
Danny spluttered. “You guys have undead friendly laws?”
“Yeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesn’t stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesn’t actually want people to know he’s like, alive.”
“Jason died?” Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. “Huh. So what’s up with his rank vibes then?”
“Rank vibes?” Tim pressed record on his phone.
Danny nodded. “Yeah, you know how Phantom’s got like a really chill green vibe?” Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. “Jason’s got kind of a rank green vibe. He’s kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.” Danny’s senses got worse in his ghost form.
“Jason regularly showers, though?!”
“Not smell! Like, a spiritual smell?”
“You can smell souls?!” Tim sat up. “Bro, you’re a meta?!”
“Uh.” Danny hesitated. “Yeah. I can smell souls. It’s a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.”
“What?!” Tim paused. “Wait, can Phantom smell souls?”
“Yeah. We’re, uh, from the same town.”
“Danny, what the fuck?”
“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, you’re kinda stinky too!”
“Hey!”
“Soul-stinky nerd man!”
——
“I stink?!” Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.
“The Lazarus pits. He’s most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.”
“We need to speak to Phantom. This instant.”
“I dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.” Dick snickered.
“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. “He was pretty serious.”
“Are we just gonna glaze over the fact that they’re from the same town?!” Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.
“How does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?” Duke asked.
“We also can’t rule out time-travel.” Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.
“No bothering Phantom.” Cass proclaimed.
“That’s quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crêpe Tuesday shall be canceled.” Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.
2K notes · View notes
flamingpudding · 7 months
Text
Fictober23 Prompt: 13 - "Come with me, hurry."
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: T
Warnings: -
Duke didn't know what was happening anymore right now. All he knew was that it had started with simply wanting to help someone. Or rather even sooner, with having been forcefully paired up with the new transfer student that everyone for some reason avoided.
The new transfer student, Danny Nightingale, had joined his class around mid semester, he wore a lot of apparently customized -as he later learned- ghost themed accessories. Somehow he got away with it without constantly getting sent to the principal for violating school uniform guidelines. Partially Duke believes that the teachers just gave up after the first week.
Aside from that the first time Duke had even seen the guy, for a short moment he thought that he had looked directly into the sun but then a second later his vision was back to normal like nothing happened but the transfer was staring at him with an eyebrow raised. They had stared at each other for a long time and Duke was sure that right then and there they both had noticed each other's possible Meta status.
But nothing strange had happened after that for a little while, well major really. Minor things kept happing and Duke was convinced that the guy had to be a Meta. The strange little incidence of things going missing but reappearing the next day, utilize or tool appear in the others hand like out of nowhere, the guy suddenly leaving class without explanation, well sometimes at least asking to get excused but still leaving even if their teacher said no or the bouts of green light Duke occasionally caught around the guy.
This transfer student had to be a Meta. Duke had no problem with it, in fact he was kind of happy to find that one of his classmates was a Meta. He just didn't know how to bring it up to him. Considering that most Metas in Gotham lived in hiding and fear, he knew he couldn't just go, walk up to the guy and bluntly ask if he was a fellow Meta.
So after a little discussion with his siblings, Duke decided he would just keep an eye out for his classmate. Trying to complete the friendship route first before and hoping that this way Danny would open up to him. So for now he was making sure the other stayed safe and all that, Duke had even asked his siblings if he should tell Bruce about his Meta classmate just in case but they had told him that as long as nothing major happens to the kid it should be enough for them to keep an eye out.
The friendship route was going great in Duke opinion. Well that was until he got partnered up with him for a group project. Duke really wanted to say that working together with Danny on the project was making it so much easier to connect with the other aside from just joining him during lunch break or trying to strike up a conversation before classes. But the or their group was not making it easier, in fact, Duke got the feeling they tried to actively exclude Danny if it weren't from him.
The day when they all met in the library made it even more obvious. Danny hadn't even known they were meeting up to work on it until Duke texted him asking where he was. He gave the other the best Damian Glare impression he could muster up when he found out and then a Jason death glare impression when they found excuses to leave once he called Danny over when he saw him walking through the library doors.
"Duke, it's fine real. I always have been one of the odd ones out." Duke had definitely not been fine with it when Danny had played it off, especially when he offhandedly mentioned that he got bullied before. Well at least Danny was enjoying his time with Duke, plus Danny was a genius, especially in all the science and engineering subjects. If their idiot group mates wanted to pass up on an A+ with extra credits then it was solely their fault for being judgmental.
Duke had gotten to the point that Danny had even agreed to come with him to the Manor to hang out once, all he now needed to do was clear it with Bruce and make sure that his noisy siblings weren't going to freak Danny out.
He was just about to call Bruce up to see if it was fine when the doors of the library were kicked in by people dressed completely in white carrying deceives that looked like scanners. He was just about to comment to Danny what weird people they seemed to be when he noticed Danny had pulled up the hood of his jacket over his head and for the lack of better words looked frightened.
Duke had only locked once between Danny, and these weird guys before deciding what he needed to do. He shot a quick look towards Babs who was working the library counter and looked about ready to have them kicked out. Duke signaled her, while also shooting off a message into the group chat with the others.
"Danny." His newly made friend had his back turned to the door and looked like he was trying to find an escape route. Duke frowned at the way Danny flinched when he placed a hand on the other's shoulder. Whoever these guys were, Danny was afraid of them or had some sort of trauma and Duke would bet his entire comic collection on the fact that it has something to do with Danny being a Meta. "It's okay, trust me. They won't get you."
"What?" Glowing green eyes peeked at him from under Danny's hood, he clearly remembers them to be blue.
"They won't get you. I promise." Duke repeated, ignoring the color change for now. By now Barbara was trying to get these people out of her library but these people continued to yell something about ecto-entities and those some papers at her. They were advancing into the building and Duke could see that Danny's flight reflex was going to break out soon.
Duke made a brief eye contact with Barbara. She nodded.
"Come with me, hurry." Was the only warning he gave Danny before he grabbed the other's hand and dragged him to the back of the building, towards the hidden doors.
"What are you doing?!" Danny sounded so confused and Duke looked over his shoulder hoping he was giving the other a reassuring smile.
"Helping you!"
"But I am not-"
"These guys are after you right? Let's get away from them first and then talk!" Duke cut him off pushing Danny through a hidden way into an underground path.
"You don't even know me and-"
"I don't need to know you, to see when someone needs help."
He could see that Danny clearly wanted to say something, there was still fear in these still glowing green eyes and Duke wondered once more what these people must have done to Danny for the other Meta to be scared like this. Danny needed to know that they wouldn't get to him as long as Duke and his family were around. He was going to be protected and be able to live normally without fear of these people showing up to hunt him for his powers.
"Meta's gotta stick together. Don't worry I will make sure you're safe!" This wasn't how he had hoped to open up this topic with Danny. He had wanted Danny to bring it up naturally once they had gotten to be really good friends. So that Duke could let him know he wasn't alone.
962 notes · View notes
spacedace · 1 year
Text
So I have an idea for a dp x dc fic and I'm going to throw it here since i need to get it out of my head and i'm not sure i'll ever actually write it (and as always if anyone finds my rambles interesting any/all of it us up for grabs to run with):
Elle ends up crashing into the DC universe while exploring, but despite all the dimension/multivariate nonsense that always goes down (or maybe because of it) she can't actually get back, and the levels of ectoplasm are a lot lower than most dimensions which weakens her quite a bit.
There's enough for her to survive, and use her powers a little bit, but using them too much makes her get really weak/maybe even causes serious harm depending on how much she uses.
She finds this out when she tries to open a portal home and both fails to open the portal & passes out as a result of trying. Cut to Elle waking up in Cadmus and realizing "ah, fucked up unethical science, I am familiar with this fuckery" and escapes.
In the process of escaping she comes across Kon, who isn't "finished" yet. He's alive and aged up to a teenager, but isn't quite done with his programming/whatever (this idea came to me based entirely off what I've gleaned through fandom so I don't know the canon of Kon's whole time with Cadmus). Elle immediately realizes "Oh clone baby, that's not good" and breaks him out and takes him with her.
Kon in this doesn't know he's a clone of Superman, he doesn't know a lot of things considering how early into the clone info-dumling process he was in when Elle broke him out. He barely knows language and how to read. What he does know for sure though is that Cadmus is Bad and Getting the Fuck Out is Good so he's down to go with Elle
Queue them becoming friends and being on the run together, learning about this world/dimension together and coming to see each other as family. Eventually they end up in Gotham because it's one of the places that naturally has a higher ectopalsm level and because if you're in the right area no one cares if you have no legal ID (in some circles it's a plus).
Kon gets a lot of odd jobs before eventually ending up working at a strip club or burlesque bar or something (my idea is that it's years after escaping so he's in his early 20s at this point and not just a fresh baby clone anymore and he gets into it because he likes it and it's good money) while Elle uses her ghostly knowledge/what powers she can to work as like a psychic or something like that.
Meanwhile Justice League (with alive again Superman) have found out about the escaped Superman clone and, along with Cadmus, are desperately trying to track him down. The info they have is a bit murky, so they think it's actually *two* clones, one that had Martian dnd also thrown in to the mix based off a short clip they managed to find of Elle phasing through walls.
My idea is that it'd all finally come to a head when Constantine pulls Tim (and maybe also Damian) in on a JL Dark case that involves the Lazerus Pit and for reasons ends up having to hire Elle to help. I'm thinking it's a thing that Elle is a pretty respected name in certain magic circles due to her expert knowledge on the Infinite Realms, though she refuses to work for most people who seek her out - even though the money would be good - because usually it's only evil assholes that want to hire her.
She makes a deal with Jon to help (in exchange for something that would let her get a message to Danny letting him know what happened or something like that) and Kon joins in because there's no way he's trusting a dude Elle calls the "drunk soul slut" with his baby sister unattended, he doesn't *care* if she could handle herself it's not happening.
Anyway, Tim/Kon (and maybe some Damian/Elle) shenanigans during a Lazerus Pit/demon hunting road trip where eventually everyone figures out who Kon & Elle are, Elle manages to get a stable portal setup so she can go home and come back whenever she wants (Kon getting adopted by Danny? Kon getting adopted by Danny) and Kon joining Young Justice and having a good relationship with Clark (who had a lot more time to deal with things before meeting Kon and learned about him as a person before learning he was Clark's clone).
Anyway there would be a scene at the end where Kon would be in his superhero suit for the first time and just:
Clark: Did you choose a hero name yet?
Kon: Yeah, I figured I'd go with Supernova.
Clark, feeling touched: Yeah? Any particular reason?
Kon: It's cool, it has 'Super' in the name, and really it just seemed the easiest option, I'm used to responding to Nova, so *shrugs*
Clark: Yeah? Why's that? Nickname?
Kon: I guess kinda? It's my stage name at the strip club I work at
Clark: what
Tim, brain shut down by this revelation: ...do you do private shows?
Clark: w h a t
2K notes · View notes
kokoa-la · 10 months
Text
Prompt from @masked-kitsune
Sent to me by anonymous lol
Part 1, part 2
This was absolutely absurd. While Danny did have a history of breaking beakers on accident and was also banned from his chemistry lab back in Casper high, he’d never made a whole lab blow up. The accusation was so unfitting. The halfa would label himself as simply misunderstood, it’s not his fault he has bad luck? You break a couple beakers and drop a few modern day potions and all of a sudden you’re suspected of the crime of exploding your school chem lab with no trial and the punishment of detention for the whole year. He was wronged, framed even. 
Danny, of course, was musing this all to himself in the detention room after school. He hadn’t managed to plead his case well enough. Gotham Academy was filled to the brim with money and nepotism, there was no way they’d believe the orphan on a Wayne scholarship. This had to be illegal (like him) or something. They didn’t even have any proof!
They didn’t have any proof. Oh Danny was getting a bad/wonderful/fun idea. He had to clear his name, obviously, he hated being blamed for things he didn’t do. If he just found evidence that it was someone else and not him, then it’d be fine. 
He couldn’t prove he wasn’t there. He had been out doing ghost stuff, as Phantom. What was he supposed to do? Go ghost and scare the bejeebus out of everyone there? Admit he’s a meta? (Being dead is a medical condition!) That’d worsen his sentence. Now he’s a charity case and a weirdo with powers! He didn’t need any more of being called a creepy boy with creepy powers thank you very much. 
Still, them not knowing he had powers was a blessing in disguise. The detention room door was locked until the two hours ran out, but the walls weren’t ghost proof, and neither was the ceiling- or anything of the room really. He’s pretty sure everyone in Gotham is somewhat superstitious, but they don’t really believe in ghosts. Danny knows because telling people his parents are ghost hunters in any place other than Amity went south very quickly. 
That settled it then. He’d use his powers to investigate the lab he is hereby banned from for the rest of his life, and find proof he’s innocent. Perfect plan. 
.
.
.
After a month he had gathered a substantial amount of clues that quite literally had no connection to each other. Getting into the cameras of the lab and the hallways around it wasn’t viable. He couldn’t hack into anything for the life of him and anytime he tried using any of his abilities on other cameras he just fried em. He’s sure with enough practice he could figure something out, but he didn’t know how long that’d take, no matter how fast he was at learning new abilities. Plus, a lot of then were already broken. Some areas were blacked out and finding out whether the cameras in that hallways worked or not was a problem on its own. 
He went over the events of that day once more. He had felt a ghost in the area, and having not interacted with one since he got to Gotham (sans Red Hood but he didn’t count) he quickly left to go and figure it out. He had gone to the bathroom in the science wing that just happened to be across from the chemistry lab. He goes ghost, leaves, finds literally  no one, not even getting a chill, returns, and the lab is gone. He’s found at the scene by a teacher who had heard the explosion and saw him at the scene, immediately dragging him to the principal's office. 
He knew he didn’t do it, even accidentally! He hadn’t touched the room at all, walking straight past it into the bathroom. He knew it looked bad. Of course it did, but he was innocent, and wasn’t too keen on staying after school for 2 hours every day for the whole year. 
The problem was if it was a ghost problem, but he knew it wasn’t. It couldn’t have been because the feeling of the lab afterwards (because he checked thoroughly) was lacking any ecto-energy at all. That meant it was a student or a person who went there, and when Danny found em he’d have a couple more than a few words for the guy. 
The halfa grumbled in his seat as he got yet another lecture. He’s been getting them every day without fail since the incident, at this point it was getting tiring. Ten minutes wasted listening to the English teacher bore on and on about the consequences of his actions and so on so forth, but this time was different. Mr. Lanch had stopped after five minutes when a knock came on the door. In strolled in Mr.Laner , with a boy. A boy who looked strikingly familiar to Danny. Black hair with a middle part, blue eyes, pale skin, lean figure, in his grade maybe? 
“Mr.Lanch this is Timothy Drake Wayne, he will be joining you for the next two months every day.” 
“I see. Well, Mr.Drake, take a seat, choose any they’re all open but one.”
Danny was seated in the back corner, Tim sat in the corner on the other side of the room, also in the back. Mr.Laner gave Danny a dirty look before leaving. Mr.Laner was the chemistry teacher, and he had made it his personal mission to be as cruel and petty as possible to Danny because of what happened- which wasn’t even his fault! When he cleared his name he wanted a full apology, seriously. 
And then there was Tim! He knew him, of course he did, the dude was the son of the guy who gave him his scholarship. He couldn’t even think about breathing in his direction, let alone sharing a room with him every day for the next two months alone. When Mr.Lanch had finished and left the room, locking the door behind him, Danny crumpled under the awkward atmosphere. Neither of them were saying anything- at all. Danny couldn’t even hear the other breathe. It was eating away at him, he had to say something, but what?
“What are you in for?”
That? That was his choice? Well it was a valid question considering they were in detention. 
“A fight.”
“You got in a fight?”
“No, I beat someone else senseless. He called it a fight to save his ego.”
Danny couldn’t stop the snort that escaped him. 
“Deserved it?”
“Oh definitely.” 
What he’d give to go back to Casper High and just beat the ever loving crap out of Dash. Stupid secret identities, making him be weak and get his ass kicked every day by a dumbass with good genes and blond hair. 
“What are you in for?” 
And now Danny was being questioned. He sighed.
“I was framed, framed I tell ya!”
“Uh-huh, that’s what they all say. What were you ‘framed’ for?”
Tim had used his fingers to put up air quotes along the word framed. Danny didn’t appreciate it. He was a truthful ghost- for the most part. He wasn’t lying!
“The explosion in the chem lab.”
“That was you?!”
Tim nearly hopped out of his seat. His head coming up from his fist that he laid it against. Gone was his relaxed posture of pure boredom and exhaustion.
“No it wasn’t! I just said I was framed!”
“But you’re so-”
“So what?”
What was this kid even getting at? Did Danny look weird? Look unable to explode shit? Cus he was able! 
“So-”
“Are you saying I’m incapable looking? That I can’t blow something up?”
“Well no-”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Okay- you look harmless?”
“That’s rude.”
“I thought you wanted  to look innocent.”
“Cuz I am!”
“Uh huh, and I didn’t beat Andy bloody.”
“Andy? Anderson? The guy with diamonds on his teeth?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me, they look so bad.”
Tim groaned before covering his head with his hands. Unpleasant memories, Danny assumed. Still, must have been nice to punch the guy. He was obnoxious and rude and always rubbing his money in Danny’s face. More than once he’s had to stop himself from strangling the kid. Another joy in his life robbed because he was a ghost. Such a shame, truly.
Danny laughed before slouching in his seat. How was he supposed to leave the room and investigate with Tim here? He banged his head against the desk. 
"You okay?"
"Yeah yeah all good" 
His voice was muffled from it being squashed against the desk, but the other heard him all the same. Danny practically whined before getting up out his seat, the metal screeching loudly against the floor. He walked over towards the desk in the front of the room and shuffled around the drawers. 
"What are you doing?" 
He ignored his detention buddy and focused on rummaging around the drawer for a paper clip. When he found one he undid it and bent it near the edge, giving it a ridge. 
"Hey!"
Tim, being ignored once again, got up from his own seat and walked over. 
Danny had kneeled at the door and jammed the paperclip into the lock, digging it in and jiggling it, waiting for a click. Has he ever done this before? No, but he's seen Sam do it to just about every lock they've ever encountered so he assumed it'd be easy enough to figure out. 
He was incorrect.
"You're doing it wrong."
He almost wanted to go "no shit, sherlock" to Tim, but decided against it.
"You know how to pick locks?"
"Obviously. Hand it over."
Danny shrugged his shoulders before handing over the paper clip and stepping away from the door. Tim rolled his eyes before taking the clip and putting it back in the lock, this time angling it up, pulling it back and forth and then twisting it. After a couple of seconds the door resounded with a click and Tim got up and opened the door. He smirked and leaned against the door.
"Still going to ignore me?"
508 notes · View notes
Text
Halloween prompts no. 19
Danny is flung into a new dimension by Skulker and they continue to fight above a strange city. Danny makes sure to end it quickly after that in case he attracts the attention of yet another person or group of people who want to hurt him for whatever reason..
He flies into a nearby building only to discover a freaky mad scientists lab and finds a clone of someone named "Robin". The clone was appearently a baby that they were planning on brainwashing and raising in a cult like setting to kill the "Bats"
"Jee, is the rodent problem that bad?!" Either way he decides to kidnap the baby and destroy everything in a blaze of glory. No child soldiers on his watch. No siree! He then portals his way home.
What he did not count on was him immediately running into his parents in his ghost form with a very alive baby in his arms. They stared eachother down in uncharacteristic silence, one afraid that they would hurt the baby with thier reckless firing and the others staring slack jawed cause why does he have a baby?!
The whole of Amity Park is also asking this question. Many assume its his, despite his age because teenages parents do exist, plus phantom kept calling it "his" baby so...
Others are worried that he might have just taken a baby from a dangerous environment and decided to keep it not realizing how much work a baby is. (Spot on) Both theories raise questions about how ghosts view families and how they reproduce. Upon asking Phantom he turned bright green, made a witty one liner and bolted.
Frostbite calls Danny in to give a check up to both him and the baby and uses this time to get a DNA sample from the child, and with a bit of ghostly magic he tracks down the parents and contacts them by straight up ringing thier doorbell. He and Alfred get along immediately.
Eventually Frosty tricks Phantom into coming back to Gotham and reveals the babies paternity in front of the batfam and the bird in question (whichever one) is freaking out a bit, "I'm too young to be a father!" style and Dannys like, "Cool. Cause I have no intention of sharing! Byeeee!" Before vanishing. Frostbite wants a nap.
Cue batfam following Phantom back to his dimension via Frostbite only to discover various people in Amity Park have also grouped together armed with ghost hunting gear to capture Phantom and get the baby away from him. Yeah, they know the kid has good intentions but hes only 14 and its not good for him or the baby. So they're effectively acting like undead CPS.
About time.
Anyway, Danny realizes he can't revert to his living form because his ecto signature would still ping on the equipment as Phantom and thats not something he wants to explain right now. Or possibly ever. With that being said he refuses to abandon his child. Hes only had them for two weeks and they're already his whole world.
Sam keeps telling him this was stupid and even Tuckers concerned. "How will you take care of a baby, dude? You can't even balance your hero life with you real life" Okay, fair. Jazz then started talking to him about talking to the babys father to at least get some help raising them and Danny finally agreed. For the baby's sake.
Bruce is so relieved when he finally gets to see his grandchild safe and sound.
1K notes · View notes
call-me-strega · 4 months
Text
How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: part 2 (chapter 1/?)
Here is part 1, lore
Edit: ao3 link now here
They do go to a library in this chapter so there are a lot of references to books in this chapter. I've read some but not all of them so I can say anything about their quality more than as things that I thought sounded interesting in theory. A lot of the stuff at the library was inspired by my own experiences with public libraries.
~~~
Step 2: Get to know them
Within the next 4 months Jason ran into Danny several more times. Each time becoming more and more enamored with the young man. It was hard not to when he saw how kind and hard-working he was.
~
The first time he ran into Danny after their first meeting he actually ran into Ellie first. Well, technically she ran into him but that's beside the point. But if you were gonna get technical about it he heard her little giggles before he saw her.
He had been at the library during some of his downtime to peruse some books and relax. The life of a vigilante crime lord isn't a very peaceful one, go figure. That's why Jason liked taking some time to himself every once in a while whether it was to have tea with Alfred, hang with one of his friends or siblings, or in this case visit Gotham Public Library.
Sure he could've gone to the Manor Library or gotten something online but the Manor was pretty far from the Alley and preferred having physical copies of his books rather than a computer or tablet. Electronics just didn't have that nostalgic book smell or the soft touch of a well-loved page.
Going to the library also came with its own perks. For one, he got to visit Barbie at work. It was always nice to see her as they had this unspoken solidarity between them. The atmosphere was also a plus. There was just something special about being able to be completely solitary yet still have this special connection to the other patrons. Seeing the old man enjoying a novel with his wife, the book club that met on Sundays, the haggard office worker winding down on the weekend with a graphic novel, the young woman teaching herself sign language, the teens goofing off while they were supposed to be studying, a mom reading The Kissing Hand to her kids, all of the various people here for various reasons; all of it made Jason feel like he was a part of something bigger.
He was currently browsing a display of LGBT+ books for young adults that the library had put up for Pride Month. '"Cemetery Boys", "Aristotle and Dante", "You Should See Me in a Crown", "Six of Crows", "Boyfriend Material", "Red, White, and Royal Blue", "Carry On", Oh- "The Song of Achilles" that sounds interesting?'
That’s when he felt a small chill pass behind him. He initially dismissed it as a draft from the air conditioner, but soon after he heard the sound of excited giggles nearby. He didn't think too much of it assuming it was another kid on their way out of the children's section. However, something niggled in the back of his head that this particular giggle was one he was familiar with.
That's when he felt something collide with his leg. He looked down to see a small child with a head of glossy black hair in a red beanie glomping his leg. Suddenly, the child looked up and beamed at him. Jason's eyes lit up with recognition and he laughed.
" Hey there munchkin, how are you?"
Ellie continued to smile, releasing her hold on his leg.
" I'm doing really good Mr. Jason! Daddy told me he didn't have any work today and he said we could go anywhere we wanted! First, we went to the bodega a got these really big breakfast sandwiches! Like really really big! Like the size of my face and we shared! And then Daddy took me to the park and it was really fun! I saw a squirrel there but it ran away before I could pet it! And then we came here and Daddy said we'd make me a library card so I could get whichever books I wanted. He read Oh The Places You Will Go and Where the Wild Things Are to me and then they were gonna have story time and Daddy looked tired from the park so I told him to read one of his space books and rest while I went to story time like a big girl! When story time was over I looked around and saw you so I came over to say hi and thank you for the cookies and food because daddy says we should always say thank you when people give us gifts!"
Damn, the girl sure had one hell of a motor mouth on her. It seemed she and Danny were in the middle of a father-daughter day. It brought a smile to his face to see that she was well taken care of, but based on her very informative rambles, it seemed they were taking care of each other.
" Why don't we go say hi to your dad, huh Elle?"
The young girl gasped, "That's a great idea! Then Daddy can say thank you too! And then you can read with us and come to our house for dinner! Daddy kept saying how he wanted to make something for you too since you made us the-, the- uuh... luz-on-ya and cookies!"
" Whoa there munchkin, how about we just start with hi?"
Ellie nodded with a determined look on her face, she wrapped her little hand around his pointer finger and pulled him along to the semi-secluded corner of the children's section. Sitting there in an armchair next to a small pile of books was Danny, who seemed to be out cold, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy slipping from his fingers.
'Aah he must be tired from moving in and probably from working too' Jason thought to himself. A smaller voice in the back of his chimed in with its own two cents. ' He still made time for her. He took her out and is spending the whole day with her even though he's tired. He's a good dad.' That's when he made up his mind not to disrupt Danny's nap and let him get some rest before he had to tackle the rest of his father-daughter day with his hyperactive six-year-old. He placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder, stopping her as she was about to shake Danny awake, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.
" It looks like you were right about your dad being tired. How about we let him rest for now and I'll say hi another time? Besides I wouldn't want to interrupt your daddy-daughter day now would I?" He started to guide her to a different portion of the library quickly forming a plan, "Hows' bout we do something I think you'll like? Did you know sometimes they bring puppies and kitties into the library?"
The young girl gasped, " REALLY!"
" Yeah, sometimes puppies and kitties can help people who are feeling sad or nervous feel better. They also help teach kids how to act nicely and quietly so that they don't scare animals by letting them read to a puppy or kitty. I can help you sign up to read to a puppy or kitty today if you want? Then afterward, you can go tell your dad and he'll be really proud of you."
The young girl seemed so excited by the prospect that Jason worried for a second that she might explode.
" That's a great idea Mr. Jason! He'll be so proud of me and he'll bring me again! And I'll get so good at not scaring animals that the squirrels in the park will let me pet them! Then, Daddy will be so impressed that he'll let us get our own puppy and Cujo can come live with us!"
Jason winced, perhaps his plan had been a tad too effective. Single parents had a hard enough time keep themselves afloat while looking after their kids, a pet was extra expenses and another commitment to devote time and effort to. Pets were usually out of budget and out of question for anyone living in or near the Alley.
Well, he'd cross that bridge if he ever got to it. For now, he focused on getting Ellie signed up to read to Charlie, the old St. Bernard that was at the library this today. He and the trainer, he squinted reading her name tag, Amanda, supervised the session. Jason would be lying if he wasn't endeared by the sight of a young girl reading Dragons Love Tacos very enthusiastically to a dog nearly twice her size.
" It's nice to see a young father spending time with his daughter."
'I agree' Jason thought before realizing Amanda thought he was Ellie's dad.
" Oh- ah no I'm her -," Jason quickly made up his mind on the least creepy excuse he could find, " -babysitter. Although, her father does make a lot of effort spend time with her."
The dog trainer flushed and apologized for her mistake but Jason waved her off saying it was no big deal. Silently, he wondered how often Danny got time to himself. When he realized what he was thinking he raised an eyebrow at himself before dismissing it as worry for a young parent and wondering how he divided his time to be able to take such good care of his daughter.
Ellie was saying her final goodbyes to Charlie when he got a text from Alfred reminding him he had promised to meet him for tea and some chitchat. Once Ellie returned to his side he let her know that he had had fun seeing her today but that he had to go spend some time with his granddad and that he'd have to say hi to her dad another time. She accepted this with a surprising amount of maturity for a 6-year-old but made him pinky-promise that he'd definitely spend some time with the both of them next time they saw each other. Jason happily accepted and sent her back off to her dad before heading over to the tea shop he and Alfred liked to meet at.
" It is so nice to see you again Master Jason. I'm happy to see arrive in one piece. Usually when you are delayed it is due to some rather -ah, unfortunate hold-ups," Alfred greeted him. He returned the smile, sinking into his seat across from Alfred, ready to unload.
" Not this time Alfie, though it is a bit of a story."
" One I'm sure you'll be pleased to tell me all about," he challenged, raising an eyebrow. Jason just shook his head and chuckled.
" Sure thing Alfie."
~
The next time he ran into Danny and Ellie he was at the grocery store.
Jason had been examining a piece of zucchini when he felt a light, cool breeze quickly followed by the sensation of someone walking past him. A lean figure came and stood nearby inspecting the squash. Jason glanced up, having registered a new presence, before doing a double take. A small grin graced his lips as he spoke,
" Well hey there neighbor, didn't expect to see you today."
Danny looked up, slightly startled before he saw that it was Jason. He smiled back and returned his greeting in a warm tone.
" Hey neighbor, I didn't expect to see you either. Honestly, I was hoping we wouldn't meet till I had made a batch of my family's signature fudge to give you as a thank you when we returned your dishes for the food and for looking after Ellie that day in the library."
" Ah~ the little munchkin told you bout that did she?"
" She was pleased to inform me about how she was learning not to scare animals and how Mr. Jason was sooo nice and even pinky promised to spend some more time with her." he teased.
Jason flushed slightly, his hand coming up to the back of his neck,
" Oh yeah, I hope I didn't overstep my bounds there. She just seemed so excited."
" Yeah, that sounds like my little spitfire!" he chuckled fondly. He took a deep breath and continued. " Well if you don't have anything else going on tonight I'd love to have you over. Ellie has really been looking forward to seeing you again and I can whip up some fudge that you can take home with you if you stay for dinner?" Danny seemed to flush at his own forwardness before rushing to continue, " I mean- not that you have to, especially if you're busy! I just- thought it might be nice to get to know my neighbor, especially since Ellie seems to like you so much! But-"
Jason, who had just finished processing the dinner invite, interrupted before Danny spiraled deeper into his nervous rambles. He place a hand on Danny's shoulder to get his attention and spoke,
" Sure. I'd love to come over Danny." He smiled, puffing up his chest, “ Besides, I have a pinky promise to fulfill.”
Danny returned his smile with a laugh, giving Jason's shoulder an embarrassed shove. Jason grinned at having successfully made the other laugh. The two stared at each other for a beat, coming down from their high of making each other laugh, before flushing and looking away. A look of realization passed over Danny's face and he turned to speak to Jason again.
" You probably have your own groceries to finish and put away. How about you come over around 7:30? I can have the fudge cooling in the fridge while we eat, oh which reminds me, you’re not allergic to anything are you?"
Jason smiled back. "7:30 sounds great Danny and no, no allergies as far as I’m aware, though I’m not particularly fond of most shellfish."
“Well alrighty then I’ll see you at 7:30,” Danny confirmed with a smile and rushed off to continue his own shopping.
And that’s how Jason found himself standing outside the Nightingale residence in a casual maroon 3/4 sleeve tee, a dark denim jacket, and some of his nicer trousers with a bouquet of flowers he put a frankly embarrassing amount of thought into. He figured bringing more food wouldn’t be appropriate since he was a dinner guest, dessert wouldn’t fly either as Danny had claimed he’d be making fudge, and wine didn’t seem appropriate with a 6-year-old also in attendance.
‘Come on Jason, it’s just a casual dinner with your neighbors! Normal human interaction, nothing to be nervous about! You can do this!’
Jason took a breath and knocked on the door. He heard a pitched squee followed by a “it’s him daddy!” come from behind the door. Unconsciously, Jason smiled as he heard the door unlocking. As it opened he was met with a cool breeze from within the apartment and the sight of his two neighbors. Danny was in a pale, moss green apron, smudged with what appeared to be powdered sugar, over a pale blue button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and cuffed jeans. Ellie was dressed in an interesting combo of pink crocs, neon green leggings, a sparkly, powder blue tutu, a white shirt with glittery black script declaring her “Daddy’s little princess”, a denim jacket embroidered with flowers and vines on the back and sleeves, and a plastic tiara with a big purple gem in the middle fixed atop her signature red beanie.
“Hi,” Danny greeted a bit breathlessly. His young daughter stood in front of him beaming up at Jason.
“ Mr. Jason you came!” She bounced excitedly on her heels before launching forward to hug his leg. She tugged at his jacket before pointing to her own, “Look! We match!”
With a smile, Jason got down on one knee and offered the flowers to her, “ And what an honor it is to match with such a beautiful princess! Please, accept these flowers as a token of my goodwill m’lady!”
“Thank you!” The girl giggled, accepting the bouquet and scurrying back into the apartment. Jason watched her go with a smile. He then turned his gaze to look up at Danny who watched the whole interaction with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. He met Jason’s gaze and smiled.
“Why don’t you come in too my good sir,” he teased, holding out his hand to help Jason up. Jason smirked at the opportunity Danny had unknowingly presented him. He took Danny’s hand but made no move to get up. Instead, he ran his thumb over the other man’s knuckles and slowly brought the hand closer to his face. He glanced up once more, teal eyes connecting to icy blue ones.
“Of course my dear king,” he whispered. His breath dancing over Danny’s hand, his lips ghosting over his knuckles. Maintaining eye contact, the kneeling man placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles, watching a beautiful red flush bloom upon the young man’s face.
‘His hand is cold. His fingers have the beginnings of callouses on them. It feels like his hand was made to fit in mine. This feels right’
Jason is snapped out of his reverie when Danny clears his throat. He coughs into his other hand while trying to hide his blush, averting his eyes in embarrassment. He doesn't withdraw his hand however, allowing Jason to continue to hold it. Jason took that as his sign to get up before this got too awkward.
He rose from the ground still not letting go of the other's hand. The pair stood there for a moment with their hands intertwined, as if a message was being passed through their tingling palms. A charge filled the air with an exhilarating tension. The kind you feel before trying something unfamiliar and new that, unbeknownst to you, will become your favorite.
“So, uh, let’s head in then?” Danny said, slowly withdrawing his hand from Jason’s, almost as if he was reluctant to do so.
“Let’s,” Jason replied and the two turned into the apartment.
Danny had Ellie show Jason to the bathroom so he could wash up as he set the table. He had made grilled squash, a macaroni and beef hotdish, and some Greek salad on the side. The three of them sat at the table making some small talk ( how are they liking it in Gotham, how did the rest of daddy-daughter day go, does Jason have restaurant/activity recommendations, would he like to see Ellie’s favorite model airplane, etc.) and laughing with each other over horrible dad jokes and Ellie’s antics.
Jason could feel his chest fill with an almost unbearable warmth. He would’ve sworn it’d have melted him from the inside out if it hadn’t been accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of joy and desire. The traitorous little whisper in his head returned to comment on how much he’d love to be a part of the Nightingale’s family.
Soon enough it was time for Ellie to head to bed and Jason to head out, lest he be late for patrol.
“Here, I can clear off the table while you put her to bed.”
Danny rushed to stop him despite the young child koala wrapped over his torso. “Oh, you really don’t have to do that. I can-”
“Relax your highness, let me take care of this while you put the princess to bed.” He gave Danny a kind look, hefting up the dirty dishes. Danny returned it with a grateful look and turned to go put his daughter to bed. Over his shoulder, Ellie looked up sleepily and weakly waved one last time saying “Goodnight Mr.Jason” in a small voice.
Jason smiled gently at her and replied, “Goodnight princess.”
He then turned back to his task of clearing the table. Moving the dirty dishes to the sink and the serving dishes to the counter. He figured he’d get started on the dishes while he waited for Danny to return. He let his mind wander as he covered a plate with soapy suds. Danny and Ellie seemed like a good pair of neighbors. He doubted they’d cause him any trouble and if they ever unintentionally did, Jason found himself thinking he’d find it rather easy to forgive them. The two were both so welcoming and full of life. They made Jason feel so happy and peaceful tonight. They welcomed him into their home and made him feel as if they enjoyed his company and wanted him around for more than just a cursory “return the favor” dinner. ‘As If he belongs there. With them.’ The little voice returned, prompting Jason to reel in his thoughts. He’s only known them for what? Two weeks? These weren’t the type of thoughts he should be having at this point. He tried to rationalize it telling himself he just missed the domesticity of family dinners like he had when Catherine was in a good stretch or like he had with Bruce, Dick, and Alfred as kid when they were all getting along. He made up his mind to attend one of the bi-weekly family dinners at the manor coming up. It’d be nice to see the little demon brat, big bird, and nerd bird again now that they were getting along like actual brothers.
“Oh! Jason you didn’t have to do that!” His train of thought broken by Danny rushing over to protest him doing dishes. “You’re a guest! You really didn’t have to-”
“It’s okay Danny, I wanted to,” he reassured the fussing young man who pulled him away from the sink. The young man responded by pushing him out of the kitchen and telling him to grab his jacket before turning back to grab something from the fridge.
And there he stood in the doorway, 20 minutes after he had intended to leave, still saying goodbye. Danny pushed a familiar Tupperware container into his hands, which recognized as the one he had given them lasagna in, now full of dark squares of fudge sprinkled with a bit of white and green on top.
Danny smiled as he handed him the sweets. “A family recipe with my own little twist on it,” he winked. Jason gratefully accepted, wishing the young man well and agreeing that he hoped to see the other again soon. And with that, Jason rushed off hoping that he wouldn’t be late for patrol.
~ Later that night Jason returned to his apartment, exhausted. He chucked his helmet off onto the bed and stumbled to his kitchen. He pulled open the fridge in search of something to eat when his eyes landed on the fudge his neighbor had given him. He pulled it out and grabbed a square, giving it a sniff before biting in. His eyes widened at the taste.
The fudge was, well fudgy, but not overly sweet. It had a richness of dark chocolate and a sweeter note from the white chocolate chips mixed in. There were also candied orange peels mixed into it which gave the fudge a bit of chew and acidity to break up the richness. The fudge was topped with pistachios adding a nutty, earthy flavor to the experience. He’s sure that if Martian Manhunter ever tried these he’d accuse Jason of giving him hard drugs. But what Jason liked most of all was the quality only homemade food and family recipes passed down over generations have. He could practically taste the amount of love and thought that went into this fudge.
Jason smiled to himself finishing off his square and decided the save the rest for later. He headed off to bed with a peaceful smile on his face and a warm, full, feeling in his chest.
~~~
I tried very hard to balance out the dialogue and description as well as to not make it too long winded and keep the story moving so please let me know what you guys think. I love receiving feedback so if there is anything you want to see more or less of let me know. I’m also open to suggestions of where Jason should run into our father-daughter pair next.
If anyone's interested here is what the bouquet was comprised of: apple blossom- preference, basil- good wishes, white camellia- you're adorable, goldenrod- encouragement/good fortune, violets- watchfulness/modesty/faithfulness
I actually looked up a real fudge recipe so that I'd have and easier time describing it. You can find it here: https://www.midwestliving.com/recipe/candy/creamy-rich-pistachio-tangerine-fudge
120 notes · View notes
butwhyduh · 3 years
Text
Starlights and Sunsets
Tumblr media
Jason x batgirl reader
Part 1/5
Summary: every Robin needs a batgirl
Warning: my usual, cursing, making out, breaking and entering, death. Later chapters will have more adult themes like blood, violence, and smut
You met Jason at 15 years old as you tried to sneak into a museum. You had just slid over the rope as the lady working the front desk dealt with the chaos of 4 large families that didn’t speak English well as they needed 19 tickets. Jason stood just inside the curtain where you landed.
“Well, hello,” he said and you were suddenly confronted by a boy your age. Skinny and covered in freckles with black hair wearing a Gotham Knights hoodie with shorts. Kinda cute.
“Hi, you didn’t see me,” you said with a smile. He nodded and made a noncommittal hum.
“Are you breaking the law right now,” he said with a little smile. The fact that you happened to land right in front of Robin out of all boys was pretty funny.
“I don’t think it’s a law,” you said wiping invisible dirt off your skirt. Jason’s eyes couldn’t help but follow your hands to look at your bare legs. You were cute.
“Sure about that?” He looked back at your face.
“Why are you alone at a museum?” You changed the subject.
“I like to learn? Plus my dad? My dad had things to do and is outside on the phone,” Jason defended himself though you definitely noticed the way he questioned himself about his dad.
“Are you sure he’s your dad?” You asked suspiciously. “If you’re kidnapped by some old rich guy blink twice.”
“I’m kinda offended to be called old,” said a voice behind you. You jumped and turned only to see Bruce Wayne out of all people.
“Hi,” you said a little frozen. Jason made some complicated motions with his face that you didn’t notice as you were staring at Bruce.
“Oh right. I have more phone calls to make in the large animal bone observatory area,” Bruce said loudly taking out his phone and leaving in the most obvious way you could imagine.
“Sorry,” Jason said with his ears pink. “He’s kinda clueless.”
“Yeah, parents always are. So you see anything good here? I’ve never been to a museum,” you admitted.
“My first museum was last year. Bruce was horrified that I’d never been to one,” Jason said and you both walked around looking at things. Currently you were looking at a case filled with different feathers.
“That’s right. You’re new adopted from Crime Alley,” You said realizing where he was from.
“Park Row, but yes,” he said fully red and a little awkward.
“Oh I don’t mean it bad. I grew up a few blocks away,” you said quickly. “Danny’s Deli on the corner? Best pastrami but he sells crack out the back door?” Jason gave you a look. “I never bought any,” you defended yourself.
“Yeah, I know the place. Gives scraps to homeless kids,” Jason said and you nodded. “You said you grew up there. Are you all grown now?”
“What does that mean?” You asked suspiciously.
“Just you don’t look like a grown up. You look my age,” Jason said.
“I mean, I’m 15 but I’m basically grown,” you answered. “I’m gonna get a job soon and everything. At a diner.”
“Cool. You in school?” Jason asked.
“What are you? A cop?” You asked leaning on a wall next to a replica of a sword.
“No. Just wondering,” Jason said, lying. He was trying to figure you out. See if you were a homeless kid. Breaking into museums and calling yourself a grown up was suspicious.
“Hmmm. Why don’t you act like a normal guy and just ask me out already?” You asked and Jason sputtered. Okay, that threw him off his game.
“I- don’t, pfff- uh, I wasn’t trying to ask you out,” he said almost tripping on a step. “What makes you think I was gonna ask you out?”
“Most guys don’t talk to me without wanting to take me out,” you shrugged. Jason stared at a case containing antique guns. “I’d give you my number if you asked.”
Jason looked at you quickly and then back at the case. He played with the seam on the glass countertop. “Uhh,” he started. “Okay. Can I have your number?”
“Sure,” you said. “Give me your phone.”
Jason handed you his phone and you started putting in the number.
“Hey! You don’t belong here,” yelled the woman from the front desk as she walked towards you with a purpose. You quickly finished typing the number and tossed him his phone.
“Call me,” you said quickly before running. You jumped the rope partition to another area and another one to get to the side exit that you ran out of much faster than the last could catch you. Jason couldn’t help but note how athletically you moved.
Now don’t call him a stalker but he was definitely trying to figure you out more than the Instagram page attached to your phone number. The only thing on it was photos taken from high and dangerous places that you definitely didn’t get to legally. You phone was a prepaid number so no address or name. Just your first name in a city of millions. Even if he only counted the neighborhood around Park Row, it was probably many names.
“You’ve got a case,” Dick said announcing his presence behind Jason who barely stifled a jump in surprise.
“I didn’t know you were back home.”
“I’m at the manor to help Alfred with some stuff for the day,” Dick said and Jason noted he specified manor rather than home. “But if you need help with a case.”
“Not exactly a case,” he admitted. Dick looked at him suspiciously.
“It’s not exactly ethical to look things up on the batcomputer if you don’t need it,” Dick reminded him.
“We’ll, there’s this…girl,” Jason said hating the way Dick’s face nodded knowingly.
“And you think she’s a criminal? Or just want her number? It’s a lot easier to ask-“
“No! I already have her number,” Jason said before mentally kicking himself. Why did he say that?? “I don’t have her name. Just her first name.”
“It should be easy to triangulate her name based on her phone number and a first name. Did you look in the data base?”
“It’s a prepaid phone. Purchased in Park Row 6 months ago,” Jason told him. Might as well see if he could help.
“If you have her number and first name, why don’t you just call her and ask for her last name?” Dick asked. “Unless you’re scared too talk to a girl. Do you want advice?”
“No,” Jason said moving away from Dick who was trying to ruffle his hair. “Nevermind. Go go,” he said shooing Dick away.
“Alright. Don’t say I didn’t try to help,” Dick said before walking away with a shrug. Yeah, he’s just as likely to help as make me look like a fool, Jason thought.
And 4 hours later, Jason stared up at the ceiling with his phone in hand, unsure what to text. ‘Hey whats up? It’s the guy you ran into while breaking into a museum.’ Not how to start a conversation. He wrote 4 different things in the text box before finally deciding on one.
Jason: hi it’s Jason from the museum
You: hey 😎 long time no see
Jason: it was yesterday…
You: yeah… wanna meet me tonight?
Jason: tonight?
You: yeah unless your dad doesn’t let you out…
Jason: where at?
You sent him an address. It was an abandoned warehouse downtown that was notorious for homeless camps. Occasionally Batman and Robin would have to break up fights down there.
Jason sent you back the address with the question ‘this the correct address?’
You: yep! Wear something to climb in 🤗
Jason: climb? ?
You: yeah like parkour
Jason: uh okay
You: cool 😎
Jason felt awkward walking towards the building after slipping out of the manor and down the street before getting a cab to this side of town. He played with the hem of his shirt. He wore tactical climbing gear that just looked like a plain track suit. But it was fit to his body and he felt so skinny in it. No amount of Alfred’s food seemed to make up for a life of malnutrition.
“You made it,” you said with a cheery smile biting your lip between your teeth. Jason shrugged.
“You know?” He said trying to play it cool as you pulled him inside. Trash barrels had small fires and people stood around them for warmth in various areas of the bottom floor. You dragged him towards a set of staircases that could be described as probably condemned. Jason thanked his Robin training as you pulled him up and through the broken spots. People were playing cards and dice loudly with a generator powering lamps. You continued to a small ladder attached to the wall in a dark corner. Maybe you were trying to kill him. He wouldn’t go down easy.
“Where are we going?”
“To see the best view in Gotham,” you said. You pushed open a window and climbed out of it as Jason squeaked in protest. He carefully joined you on the sloped roof that slid down to a flat area with lawn chairs and discarded furniture. You stood like you were showing off.
“You can actually see stars sometimes,” you said before sitting on a couch so close that Jason could feel your thigh touching his. “It’s a nice place to come relax too. No one to bother you either.”
“Yeah, it’s nice. You can even see the moon,” he said pointing up. You leaned against his shoulder as you looked up. Jason’s heart beat a little faster but he ignored it. He’s Robin for goodness sake. You both sat and watched the moon for a minute before you turned to look at him. You were so close. He’s never been that close with a girl before.
“You have pretty eyes,” you said and he blinked.
“But it’s dark outside,” Jason protested weakly.
“The moon makes them glow,” you said and you were so close. Jason couldn’t help but peek at your lips and how soft they looked.
“Thanks,” he muttered before licking his lips. You turned more and it was in that moment that Jason realized you were actually taller than him. It wasn’t exactly hard as he was ridiculously short and still waiting on that promised puberty spike. He didn’t imagine kissing a girl that was taller than him.
“Your eyes are pretty too,” Jason said cutting the silence a little.
“It’s dark outside,” you said with a bit of a smile and Jason chuckled weakly. You were definitely killing him. You leaned over to where your lips were breaths from kissing. Jason didn’t go from an alley cat to Robin without a little courage and he leaned to press his lips against yours so softly that you momentarily wondered if he missed. You pressed closer for a proper kiss. You grabbed his hand and he rubbed his thumb against your wrist and your closed lips ever so lightly moved together before pulling away. His hand stayed in yours.
You had a little shy smile that Jason knew he wore too, if not something worse: dumb awe.
“You smell nice. Like flowers,” Jason said and instantly chided himself for saying something stupid. You smiled and looked down with a bite to your lip like you did before. Cute habit, he thought.
As with every brief moment of happiness in Gotham, it was broken by chaos. Gun shots sounded in the lower levels and you jumped a little. Jason stood up quickly.
“We need to go before the cops get here,” you said getting up quickly too. Sirens cut through the air. “We’re too late!”
Jason looked for exits and other strategies to escape the problem. Robin didn’t get caught by the cops! Then again, Robin had a grappling hook and smoke pellets that Jason didn’t exactly have on him at the moment. You looked between the small window you had crawled from and the angle of the couch and he could see you make a plan.
“Lay down,” you hissed. He quickly hummed quizzically. “Now!”
Jason laid on his back on the couch and the next thing you knew, you were crawling on top and laying flat on him. His heart was going to burst from beating so fast. Oh fuck, he was going to die. He’d definitely never been this close to a girl before.
The police raided the building and people fled as they tried to arrest them for trespassing as if the building wasn’t abandoned for the last 40 years. Protests and yelling could be heard from below as well as the unmistakable sound of a taser. Jason winced. He didn’t want that tonight. He felt himself sweating and his cheeks fully flushed under you and his mind was mentally freaking out.
The police made their way upstairs and found a few more people. This time is was more junkies and elderly sleeping in various corners. One young cop saw the open window and climbed up the ladder.
“What the fuck Smitty, there ain’t nothin’ there. Help me with this geezer ay?” Shouted one of the other cops. He looked out and you both froze, barely breathing. Look away, Go away, don’t see us, you thought.
Jason on the other hand, was trying to clear his mind with the repeated mantra think clean thoughts as Bruce always put it. His stupid 15 year old body was absolutely freaking out that a girl was laying on him. The last thing he wanted was something popping up at this exact moment.
Finally the cop was satisfied that he didn’t see anything and crawled back down the ladder the help arrest homeless people along with the rest of Gotham’s ‘finest.’ You waited another minute before rolling off of Jason who sat up and adjusted his pants just in case.
“We should wait a little while longer for them to leave,” you said and he nodded. Yeah, another 20 minutes and they’d find somewhere else to clear out. You sat next to him again. “Wanna kiss some more?”
“Uhh,” Jason said pulling away. He definitely couldn’t handle you kissing him right now with the way his body was keyed up. And yeah last thing he wanted was an embarrassing reminder as you both left because the stupid clothes he had on would definitely show. “I just want to keep an eye out for the cops coming back.”
“Oh. Right,” you said sitting back on the couch. “What’s it like living in a mansion?”
“Weird,” he answered and you laughed.
“I bet. You got servants and a pool?”
“Uhh yeah. Just one,” Jason said.
“One pool?”
“One butler but he’s more in charge that anything.”
“He’s in charge of you,” you asked with a smile. “Isn’t that the wrong way?” Jason laughed.
“He’s in charge of Bruce too,” he added. “If you don’t feel the need to come down for supper Master Bruce, I shall use my time on other pursuits instead of cooking,” Jason said in a pretty good British impersonation. You laughed.
“He sounds strict,” you commented.
“Yeah, real ‘wash behind the ears’ type,” Jason answered. “But he’s good people. I should invite you over to swim sometime.” He tried to say casually.
“Sure they want a street rat in their fancy place?” You asked incredulously.
“They already got me, don’t they? Plus no one uses the pool besides me,” he said.
“Alright. Invite me over sometime between tea time and cricket, ay?” You said with a laugh.
“Alright, have a laugh,” he said with a grin and you giggled. “I think we can leave now. Where do you live? I’ll walk you.”
“I can stay at the shelter on 47th street,” you said and Jason sighed a little. At least it was a women and children only place so a little safer. “Talk about finding me a permanent place and I’ll punch you,” you warned. “I’ll never stay in a foster home.”
“Yeah, I won’t. I’ll walk you over there,” he said. You both climbed carefully out of the warehouse and walked quickly down the street to avoid attention. Not even Robin was safe in the streets around Crime Alley after dark. You stopped in front of the badly painted door to the shelter and turned to Jason.
“Good night,” he said shoving his hands in his pocket.
“Night,” you said reaching over and kissing his cheek. He flushed red as he watched you run inside.
Over the next 6 weeks, Jason met you a few nights a week when he didn’t have patrol. Sometimes you would just hang out and other times would end up a makeout session. He felt bad that even once he had you help out with a case without you knowing by telling him everything you knew about a gang member.
It took him a little while to invite you back to the manor. First he had to make sure you were stealthy and surprisingly you were. He had to make sure you were safe to bring back; anyone can be a bad guy in Gotham. And finally, it’s not every day a guy brings a girl back to his house.
So when you carefully climbed in his bedroom window after climbing the pergola and balcony, Jason was a little stressed. He sat stiffly on his bed as you looked through his stuff. A bookshelf full of books, some baseball cards, a few pieces of memorabilia from trips he’d gone on with Bruce.
“I like your room,” you said, sitting beside him. Jason nodded. “Hawaii seems nice.”
“It is,” he agreed before turning to look at you. You smiled and softly pecked him on the lips.
“I gotta ask, are we, you know,” you asked nervously. He wasn’t used to seeing this side of you. You hid everything behind a confident smile usually and now you were practically pulling the seams off of his bedsheet.
“Dating? Like, are you asking if I’m your boyfriend?”
“Yeah, I guess…”
“Sure I guess,” he said with an awkward smile. You grinned.
“Great,” you said before kissing him again. Your fingers threaded in his hair and you practically pushed him to the bed. Jason made a soft oof sound as you leaned over him. He held your arm and the side of your face as you kissed. You slid your tongue in his mouth after a minute and Jason pretty much forgot his name much less to keep an eye out for anyone walking to his room.
Why anyone would be walking around Wayne manor at midnight on a Tuesday was beyond his knowledge and you both were being quiet and Jason’s room was at the end of the hall that no one else used. No one should have been anywhere near his room.
“Baby bird,” came a loud whisper and you jerked off of Jason and almost fell on the floor. “Oh, shit, sorry bro!” Came the loud whispering voice of Dick to fit the silhouette in the door from that hall light that was now turned around with his hand over his eyes.
“I didn’t see anything,” Dick started to say. “Actually, uhh use condoms,” he said roughly. “Gotta wrap it before… you tap it.. that’s a horrible way of saying it but you know. Wear protection because you can get pregna-“
“Dick,” Jason hissed as you hid your face in a pillow. “Go away. We’re not- we haven’t- just leave!”
“Yep! Okay. Nice to meet you- probably not actually but you know,” he said grabbing the knob. “We’ll talk later, Jay.”
“Go. Away,” Jason pleaded and Dick closed the door and walked sticky down the hall.
“So that’s your brother,” you said with a smile. He winced while sitting up. “Now I see why you haven’t brought me back up here.”
“Sorry bout that. He is never here. He lives in Bludhaven so this is just really bad luck,” Jason insisted. You nodded.
“I should get going,” you said with a little smile. Jason nodded.
“Yeah, good idea before he comes back with a box or Bruce walks in,” he said and you laughed. You kissed him again and left out the window.
It was a full 3 weeks later when you found out about Robin. You went to climb in his window only to find a half dressed teen vigilante. Jason almost fell over and ripped his suit with the force of trying to finish pulling it on in a hurry.
“Wait, you’re Robin??” You asked surprised. He stood still for a second.
“Yep, boy wonder at your service. Don’t ever tell anyone,” he begged.
“Tell anyone? Of course I won’t! That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard?? Does your dad know?” You stared at him for a second. “Oh my god, he’s bat-“
Jason had leaped across the bed and held his hand over your mouth with a quiet shush. There was knocking at his door.
“Jaylad, it’s time to go. You ready?” Bruce said. You looked over at Jason. He hastily shoved your head down and you slid under the bed. He fixed the blanket right before Bruce came in. He sat on the bed and you saw booted feet near your head.
“Look, I thought I’d have a talk with you after the last patrol,” he said and your heart pounded. Holy shit batman was sitting right above you. “I haven’t really taken the time for the birds and the bees conversation and we definitely need it. He wasn’t tattling but Dick mentioned you had a girlfriend. And you’re at the age… where young men have certain… urges and hormones.”
“Oh god, you don’t need to tell me. Like you’re a little late anyways,” Jason said with a laugh and your eyebrows rose. He was??
“I am?” Bruce asked sounding even more stressed. “Okay, are you using protection? You can get pregnant or STDs from the first time-“
“I’m not having sex, Bruce. I meant that I’ve already had health class and everything where they talk about it. They made us put a condom on a banana,” Jason said and Bruce sighed and you felt the bed sag.
“Good. Good. I mean, that’s not exactly realistic but glad you learned some. It’s better than it used to be when Dick was young. Moldy penis pictures and warning that sex will kill you,” Bruce muttered and you covered your mouth to prevent yourself from laughing out loud. Your body silently shook while Jason gaffed out a laugh.
“That sounds terrible,” he said with an attempt to prevent himself from grinning but failed and soon both he and Bruce were laughing.
“Do you have any questions about it? You can come to me, or Alfred, or even Dick if you have questions about sex and puberty and girls- or guys,” Bruce added. “We don’t judge here.”
“Thanks but I’m good. We’re not…”
“Right. Well… I’ll meet you in the cave in ten minutes?” Bruce said getting up. He pat Jason on the back before walking to the door. Jason waited a whole minute before quickly locking it. You climbed up from under the bed.
Jason was brick red and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
“Sorry, I didn’t know he’d try something like that,” he muttered.
“It’s fine. At least he wants to make sure you don’t get ‘moldy penis,’” you said and you both started laughing with Jason quickly putting his hand over your mouth.
“Never mention that again,” he said. You grinned and started snickering again.
“Mum’s the word,” you said. “But more importantly is that you’re Robin. How? Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Well yeah. But I’m trained for it,” Jason said. “I’ve got to go but I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sure. I don’t want your dad to give you another talk,” you said with a grin from the window ledge. Jason bent and kissed you.
“I’m almost taller than you,” he said.
“You wish,” you retorted with a harmless glare.
“Yeah, be safe.”
It was another week until you saw Jason again between school and your part time job and his Robin activity. You brought up Robin almost immediately. You wanted in and Jason was flabbergasted.
“You can’t just join Robin! It doesn’t work like that,” he protested.
“Fine. I’ll be another batgirl,” you said.
“The first one is still fighting crime,” he reminded you.
“So? I’ll just come up with a different name,” you shrugged.
“You need to train to fight bad guys. Could you beat a villain? Do you even know basic self defense?” Jason asked.
“I know a lot more than you think,” you insisted. “My dad would drop me off at this kickboxing gym his brother ran and my uncle taught me some stuff.”
“If you beat me in a fight, I’ll talk to batman about you joining,” Jason said.
“Fine!” You said. “Wanna makeout right now?”
It was over a month of fighting and training on various rooftops of Gotham before you finally pinned him and won a fight. You cheered and high fived Jason. He winced at the thought of having that conversation with Bruce.
It never came.
Jason died before that happened. You remember his funeral clearly. A small box lowered in the ground with only a few to see it. You didn’t cry but stared at the dirt. You had cried for days and felt as though you would never cry again Bruce stood stoic and his butler’s hand shook a little when giving the family doctor a tissue. You bitterly thought about how his brother wasn’t even there.
You left as soon as the ceremony was finished, hustling towards the cemetery gates but you didn’t make it. Instead you fell down and sobbed behind a mausoleum. It started to rain before you finally stopped. You walked stiffly to the grave and saw the roses left on the fresh dirt. Red rose stark like blood against the black soil.
You visited often as you could. And when crime started to increase with the absence of Robin and distraction of Batman, you went out without anyone’s permission. It didn’t take long for Bruce to insist on helping you, giving you Batgirl with Barbara’s help. But an angry teenager has never soothed a grieving father’s heart and he continued to sad and violent until another Robin showed up to his door.
S&S masterlist
Part 1/6
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
262 notes · View notes
snarkwrites · 4 years
Text
-- about my writing --
Tumblr media
I’m currently taking requests / asks for headcanons [ can be either NSFW or just in general or a specific idea ] or fluff/filth Alphabet letters. These are the only requests I plan on taking. If you send me prompts / one shot ideas.. I won’t do them, sorry.
To see what the questions are for the fluff / filth alphabet, see [this post]
[ To my thots anon whomst I love with every cell in my body... Your thots are all going to fall under NSFW headcanons so please.. By all means.. Feel free to send me all the thots you want because I really really really really really enjoy writing them!!! Also, you can find the thots you’ve sent me on my nsfw masterlist, they’re not going anywhere. They were so good I had to add them to a masterlist somehow, I couldn’t resist. At everyone else out there, the same applies to you guys.]
Tumblr media
So.. Here’s the thing.. I’ve decided that I’m going to be taking 3 kinds of requests. Those are as follows: Headcanons { filthy, fluffy or themed specifically at your choosing }, fluffy alphabet and filthy alphabet letters. These are the only kinds of request I answer so don’t send me prompts / one shot requests or ideas unless I specifically say otherwise.
Bearing the above in mind, I have some guidelines.
I’m only accepting headcanons (nsfw / fluff / specific theme &/or reader), fluffy or filthy alphabet letters. If you send me one shot ideas or prompts, I’m going to delete them because I don’t do one-shots.
One character per ask. I don’t care how many asks you send. But I ask that you only send one character per ask because that makes things a lot more simple for me.
You can send up to 4 letters in each ask if you’re asking for either version of the alphabet. Be sure to let me know whether you want filth or fluff or a mix of both. IE, you could send me something like this; character name - a, b {filth} & j v {fluff}. I’m not saying your ask has to look exactly like this but it does need to clearly state which version you’re asking for. The format I just did above was just the easiest way that came to mind for me.
The more precise you are with the headcanon requests you send, the better I can tailor them to you. If you just want an overall NSFW headcanon or overall fluff, that’s totally fine. But if you want a specific scenario ( friends to lovers, date night, weddings, the sky is the limit here) you need to tell me that. The same goes for if you want a specific reader (POC, plus size, sick, shy, virgin, imprint, etc) then I need to know that. It’s like I said.. The more specifics you give me, that’s more I have to work from.
As far as headcanons go, the things I won’t write are rape, incest / huge age gaps between reader / character. I’ll only write abuse if someone is getting their just desserts at the hands of character on readers behalf. Any asks containing rape / incest / huge age gaps are going to be deleted.
All asks must come to my inbox. I don’t take requests through DM or in comments on a post. If it helps, my anon is on, so you can request to your hearts content.
If the ask box is closed, this means I’m currently not taking headcanon or fluff/filth alphabet requests. This will also be noted on my blog bio and possibly a post stating why/for how long. Anything sent in after the ask box is closed will either be gotten to the next go around or it’ll be deleted, depending on the situation.
Tumblr media
First of all... My content is meant strictly for adults. I do write some things that people underage can safely  read, but that is not always the case. I realize that I can’t stop minors from reading my work, but I can tell you outright that I’d rather you skip over it if you’re underage and it clearly states that it’s not written for anyone underage. Again.. I can’t do anything to stop minors from reading my NSFW content beyond just choosing never to post writing on the internet. And I don’t plan on stopping, so.. yeah.
I put warnings on everything. Reading those will definitely save you time and upset. If you keep reading something I’ve written and it upsets you in any way, I’m sorry but I can’t help. I warned you. You chose to take the risk -and most likely, you chose to skip the warning I gave before the post even started... It’s strictly on you now. It’s out of my hands. Any complaints or things of that nature are gonna be laughed at and deleted out of my inbox because I’m not here to argue or censor myself. I’m not your parents, just a peer. If you as a minor choose to look at me, an adult adjacent person, as an authority figure of any sort... First of all, why? Ya’ll.. no.. please don’t. I’m a hot mess, okay? To look at me like any trust worthy authority figure is... A huge error on your own part. Secondly, please don’t. I’m here to enjoy my favorite fandoms / post content for them. I’m not here to please people / censor myself and my content to make everyone else happy... Let me repeat. I put warnings on everything I post. If you keep reading and you read something you’re not supposed to this is now solely your own problem. Sorry, I guess?
I’ve seen other adults saying that they block minors on here. While I’m not gonna do that.. I will not tag minors in my NSFW content knowingly. If I find out you’re a minor and I’m posting something NSFW for a fandom you’ve asked to be tagged in, I will not be tagging you. Sorry. As much as I say I’m not here to parent you and I’m just your peer and you need to think of me like that instead, I’m also not willing to risk anything, either. I’m truly sorry in advance.
While I’m talking about tagging people / my taglist...If you want me to tag you in my writing, you need to be on my taglist. The taglist can be found [ here ] or you can dm / send an ask telling me you want to be added and I will be more than happy to do so. Don’t be afraid to ask me. I don’t mind at all! 
Every now and then, I’ll tag my friends in things I write. If I tag you in something and you don’t want me to, let me know. I won’t do it anymore. I’m not here to overwhelm or annoy anyone and I don’t want to come off as pushy, either. SO.. if you’re getting tagged or whatever and you want me to stop tagging you, all you have to do is let me know.
If you’re not on my tag list (or I don’t know you well enough to know whether you’d potentially want to read something) I will not be tagging you. If you’re a minor and I know for sure/think  you are and it’s smut, I will definitely not be tagging you.
Content I’m not willing to write or  you probably won’t find here: Incest and Rape. Those are my hard no’s. Just the thought of writing something like that makes me feel gross. I’m also not going to be writing huge age gaps in romantic stories either. (the closest I’ll come is like.. 18/19 and up to 24...) I mean absolutely no offense against people who can and do write things like this, I just can’t? 
Tumblr media
American Horror Story; tate langdon, ben harmon, kit walker, kyle, dandy mott, jimmy darling, james patrick march, michael langdon, xavier plympton and night stalker.
Arrowverse; oliver queen, john diggle, slade wilson/deathstsroke, barry allen, cisco ramon, ray palmer, mick rory.
Bands / Celebrities; ask before sending because I haven’t done many of these and I’m still adjusting… Off the top of my head I’ve written for / feel comfortable with Nick Groff (ghost adventures), Jon Bernthal.. There are lots of others but alas, I’d stretch this out so badly if I added too many more names.
Boondock Saints movie; Connor Macmanus Murphy Macmanus & Rocco.
Breakfast Club movie; John Bender.
Castle Rock tv series; Dennis Zalewski, The Kid.
Criminal Minds; Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Hotch, Tobias Hankel & Adam/Amanda.
Crybaby Movie; wade walker.
CSI tv series; Greg Sanders, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown, Gil Grissom, Tim Speedle, Ryan Wolfe, Eric Delko, Danny Messer, Don Flack, Mack Taylor.
Dazed & Confused movie; Randal Pink Floyd, Mike Newhouse, Ron Slater, Fred O’Bannion and Kevin Pickford.
DC Cinematic; Digger Harkness.
Detroit Rock City movie; Tripp, Lex, Hawk and Jam.
Fast & The Furious series; Dom Toretto, Han.
Four Brothers movie; Angel, Jack or Bobby Mercer
Friday Night Lights tv series; Tim Riggins, ,Matt Saracen, Landry Clarke, Bobby Riggins, Vince.
General Hospital tv series; Sonny Corinthos, Jason Morgan, Johnny Zacarra, Dante Falconeri, several other of the guys on here…
Ghostbusters 80′s version movie; Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler , Peter Venkman, Winston Zeddemore.
Gotham tv series; Jerome Valeska, Jim Gordon, Joker, Riddler.
Harry Potter movies; Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom.
Horror movies various; Billy Loomis/Scream, Charlie Walker/Scre4m, Wade/ House of Wax, Tom Hanninger/My Bloody Valentine + others. Trust me, there are... So many others. I just didn’t have the brain power to think of them all at the moment.
Law & Order tv series; Barba, Carisi, Stabler.
Lucifer tv series; Lucifer Morningstar.
Luke Cage; Luke Cage, Shades Alvarez.
Marvel Cinematic; Bruce Banner/hulk, Captain america/steve rogers, bucky barnes/winter soldier, eric killmonger, hawkeye/clintbarton, thor, loki, pietro maximoff, venom/eddie brock, starlord/peter quill, ironman/tony stark, wolverine.. I’m a marvel ho.
Mayans MC tv series; Angel Reyes and Ez Reyes.
NCIS tv series; Anthony Dinozzo, Timothy McGee, Marty Deeks, Greg Callen.
On My Block tv series; Spooky Diaz.
Punisher tv series; Billy Russo, Frank Castle.
Riverdale tv series; Jughead Jones, FP Jones, Reggie Mantle, Sweetpea, Archie Andrews.
Shameless tv series; Lip Gallagher.
Sons of Anarchy tv series; Jax Teller, Chibs Telford, Clay Morrow, Juice Ortiz, Opie Winston.
Stranger Things tv series; Jonathan Byers, Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Jim Hopper.
Star Wars movie series; Han Solo, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, Poe Dameron, Finn.
Supernatural tv series; Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Crowley, Benny Lafitte, Kevin Tran.
Teen Wolf tv series; Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Derek Hale.
The Crow movie series; Eric Draven and Jimmy Quervo/Wicked Prayer.
The Lost Boys movie series; Edgar Frog, Allen Frog, David, Michael Emmerson, Sam Emmerson.
The Outsiders book/movie; Two Bit Matthews, Dally Winston, Darry Curtis, Soda Pop Curtis, Johnny Cade, Steve Randle.
The Walking Dead tv series; Daryl Dixon, Shane walsh, Rick Grimes, Negan, Glenn Rhee.
The Vampire Diaries tv series; Klaus Mikaelson, Kai Parker, Kol Mikaelson, Jeremy Gilbert, Damon Salvatore.
Twelve Rounds 3 movie; Detective John Shaw.
Twilight movies/books; Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Paul Lahote, Embry Call.
Tumblr media
I’m gonna be honest here. I post on my own time, at my own pace. Some days I post constantly, sometimes it’s days or even weeks, and occasionally, a month before I post anything. So.. Now ya know.
If I’m not on and posting, odds are I’m busy, taking a break or whatever. But I’ll come back! I always do. 
Basically, what I’m saying here is I have no set posting schedule. At all. I post what I want when I’m in the mood to do so. Just something to keep in mind when you’re asking for headcanons / nsfw alphabet letters with characters.
45 notes · View notes
dappercritter · 5 years
Note
You have been granted the oppurtunity to recast your favorite animated movie! The only catch is that each of the characters in said movie are animated characters from different shows/movies (X from show/movie is Bob, X from show/movie is Larry, ect.)
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boi. You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, my friend!
Once long ago, before the Cringe Ages, I loved recasting my favourite and sometimes least favourite movies with characters from my favourite shows. But then I started taking storytelling more seriously and sentimentally and… art-y, and I started acting as if I was above the stuff somehow. To this day, I still don’t know whether to blame the masses or my own hubris.
But now! Now, the floodgates of my childish, innocent mind are open once more! And I have just the idea: The Nightmare Before Christmas but with Villainous and Batman* characters! (With a few CN villains on the side.) So, I guess you could call it…
The Villainous Nightmare Before Batman! 
(No, wait. Uhhhhh…)
The Dark Knight Before Villainous!
Ok, yeah, that should do.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Dapper Critter, what are you doing this? Sure, Batman meets Villainous could work, but why are you bringing The Nightmare Before Christmas into this? It’s not even Halloween or Christmas! What are you thinking?!” Well, first of all, Christmas and Halloween aren’t just holidays, they’re states-of-mind. Second, I think it’s time you guys learned something important: I’m a big ol’ lowkey goth baby, baby! If it’s spooky or gothic, I’ll soak it up like a sponge in sink full of soapy water. And nothing says gothic like the hero of a city literally called “Gotham,” a show with a grotesque monster hiding behind the guise of a well-dressed man, and the classic story of Jack Skellington himself! What’s more, all three of these hold a special place in my heart, as they all played a huge part in helping me develop and realize my interest in gothic culture. Lastly, I can see the worlds of these three stories coming together quite easily. Behold, this plot pitch I just made!
“Another Halloween has come and gone in CN City, and another cheerful Christmas is on its way. Black Hat, unofficial master of all that is dark and evil, is thoroughly disgusted that the multiverse will soon be returning to it’s obnoxiously cheerful and wholesome state. He morosely tears a hole through time and space to talk a walk through reality, miserable that he’s stuck living in such a wonderful place. That is until he stumbles upon the city of Gotham, where no matter what time of year it is, the streets are filled with misery and malicious mayhem. Delighted, he sets out to celebrate Christmas his own way: by taking a certain caped-crusader out of the picture and making Gotham his very own holiday vacation home! Little does he know, there’s one special girl who thinks he can celebrate right where he is, as well as a certain clown who’s got his own sinister Christmas party in mind…”
So now that I’ve convinced you, I think it’s time we got down to the actual recasting! Let’s begin, my darling children of the Hot Topic night…
Black Hat as Jack Skellington: This couldn’t have been easier—they’re both creepy gentlemen with excellent taste in fashion. Yes, I know Black Hat is a lot less nice than our dear Pumpkin King, but let’s just say this story takes the odd liberty here and there. Not to mention, Black Hat could easily match Jack’s enthusiasm, intelligence, style, and obsessive inquisitions. Plus, he could totally pull off an evil Santa suit. (Though to be honest, I’m not sure if his snarling, slimy, cockney-accented voice could match Danny Elfman’s melodious singing.)
Demencia as Sally: A devoted, mildly ghoulish, and totally cute fangirl who’s always pining after their darling idol, and who may or may not have been made in a lab? It’s like this fancast is writing itself! Demencia might be a bit more proactive—and scary—in the plot, but I can see her a lot Sally’s dilemma in her as she tries to get Black Hat to notice her and not to abandon them in pursuit of a crazy dream. (Well, that I’m filthy Lizardhat trash.)
Dr. Flug as Dr. Finklestein: Flug, being the only mad scientist who’s employed by Black Hat, as well as the only to survive this, seems like a good pick. Sure, he’s not in a wheelchair and, no, he’s not as creepy as the bugger, but he could still work as our horrid hero’s right-hand man. Plus, since a big part of his canon character is putting up with Demencia’s BS (tell my family that means “baloney-sandwich”), he’d also do great as the one trying to keep the free-spirited love interest under control. Only here, it would be because he’s trying to keep Dem out of trouble so she doesn’t make his boss mad and try to kill him, as opposed to… whatever Finklestein’s problem is. And of course, he can still be menacing if need be. (Just watch the Lost Cases of Townsville and The Tree House…)
5.0.5. as Zero: A cute animal sidekick is a cute animal sidekick, I always say! And 5.0.5. was basically designed to be the ultimate cutesy animal sidekick. Therefore, he can be basically do anything Zero did. Try to cheer up Black Hat? Check. Pull Black Hate’s sleigh? Why couldn’t he? Yeah, he can’t be a flying ghost dog with a glowing nose, but I could just throw bedsheet on him (it was just after Halloween after all) and maybe say he swallowed that anti-gravity device.
Batman as Santa Claus: For Santa Clause, I needed someone who could be the absolute good guy in a world filled with bad guys and weirdos, much like Santa was in the movie. Likewise, since Jack kidnapped Santa to take over Christmas, Black Hat would need to kidnap the guy in charge of Gotham in order to take it for himself. So, of course he’s going to go after it’s #1 protector. I can also see Batman being the voice of reason in this madcap story. Not to mention that he could pull off a Santa suit even better than Black Hat! (In fact…)
The Joker as Oogie Boogie: This one I had some trouble with. I kept asking myself stuff like, “who would be brave enough to usurp Black Hat?,” “who could match Oogie’s siz—er, presence?” or “who would want to kidnap Santa Claus?,” and “Who would be into gambling and crazy funhouse stuff?” And then it came to me: The Joker. I mean, he’s got charisma, a sense of menace, he’s a cutthroat who loves to play with his enemies, and almost always has a big ol’ amusement park deathtrap on hand. Sure, he wouldn’t have the creepy demise like Oogie, but he could get a good beating and traumatizing from Black Hat and/or Demencia (who’d really hate being a damsel in distress, I imagine).
The Delightful Children from Down the Lane as Lock, Shock, and Barrel: At first, I thought of using other Batman villains or Shannon, Darrell, and Ernesto from OK K.O.!, but then I thought it would make more sense to have child villains from a CN show who could do bad things for slime-balls like Black Hat and Joker with pleasure. I instantly thought of these scheming, little monsters from Codename: Kids Next Door (an old favourite of mine). Although they’re usually talk and act in unison, they could have some comical bickering now and then. (After all, “Lenny is an idiot.”) Likewise, I can see Black Hat using Batman’s affinity for young people to get him while his guard’s down. They could make for great trick r’ treaters as well!
Lord Boxman as The Mayor: The mayor wasn’t a very important character, but he was definitely a memorable one, and the first character I thought of who could match his dual personality was Lord Boxman from OK K.O.! They both act like leaders but are really terrible at their jobs, suck up to better villains, and throw a whimpering tantrum like nobody else. (Also, I get to imagine Jim Cummings singing lines from The Nightmare Before Christmas songs, so that’s nice.)
Various CN Villains as The Citizens of Halloween Town: Like with The Mayor and the Trick R’ Treaters, I like to think that the various CN villains who cameoed in the Villainous Orientation series would show up as the denizens of the seedier side of CN City which—as you probably guessed—would be standing in for Halloween Town. Unfortunately, I do not have an encylcopediac knowledge of either Halloween Town residents, nor CN villains, so I’ll just list the ones I can remember and am the most proud of without offering any real justification.
Nohyas as Mr. Hyde: I couldn’t think of anyone besides Black Hat with a fancy hat or smaller versions of himself. Nohyas just so happens to have a suitable villain’s hat, and Handre (his hand puppet) could work in place of tiny clones living under his hats. (And yes, I like Mighty Magiswords. Deal with it.)
Zombozo as Clown with the Tear-Away Face: I don’t believe all creepy clowns look the same, but a ghoulish clown could easily stand in for another. Plus, I used to be a big Ben 10 fan, so I thought I ought to work something in.
Donny as Behemoth: This grass ogre from Adventure Time was more of an outright jerk than Behemoth, but he has a softer side so that would make him a great candidate for a resident gentle giant.
Loony Toons’ Dracula, Billy and Mandy’s Dracula, and Count Spankula as The Vampire Brothers: Do I really need to explain this one?
The Red Guy as Devil: I sure don’t need to elaborate on this one.
The Gangreen Gang as the Zombie Band: The Gangreens were basically based off edgy bands of the late 90’s, and thanks to Gorillaz, we know Ace can play the bass like a boss. Also, I can totally hear Ace saying, “Nice work, bone-daddy.”
Earl (AKA Dopey Black Hat) as Igor: Earl doesn’t get enough to do, inside or outside of Villainous canon.
The Beast as The Hanging Tree: Yeah, I know, I’m messed-up.
HIM as Harlequin Demon: Seriously, this one cast itself!
The Queen of the Black Puddle as Undersea Gal: I don’t watch Courage the Cowardly Dog much, but I remember seeing this villainess once before and I instantly thought she’d be a dead-ringer!
Morbidia and Gateaux as The Witches: Another natural casting derived from my soft spot for Mighty Magiswords. Although Gateaux is a male and a tall one at that, he’s perfect for being a huge suck-up. (I originally considered Miss Endive from Chowder and Duchess from Fosters’ Home for Imaginary Friends, but then I remembered that no matter what they dressed-up as, they’d be unlikeable.)
Monstrous Black Hat as The Monster Under the Bed: Like Earl and the other Black Hat clones, he doesn’t get enough love. (Though this may be a good thing, since he seems too nasty to receive or return it…)
Rob as The Melting Man: There aren’t a lot of CN villains who are melting, per se, but I figured this poor bad guy from Amazing World of Gumball and his unique media-mixed malformity could work.
Biowolf as The Wolfman: Because they’re both well designed wolfmen and I refuse to forget Generator Rex.
The Robins, Batgirl, and Alfred as the Elves: If Batman’s going to be Santa, then his support staff/family might as well be his helpers. Not to mention, they’d look great in cute little elf outfits happily working on Batman’s gadgets in preparation for the big Christmas crime wave.
The Justice League as The Army: Someone needs to show up to shoot-down Black Hat and his idea of Christmas at the end, and since he’s kidnapped Batman, I think it only makes sense that the Justice League would retaliate and come to clean up Black Hat’s mess. He’d also get a reminder that he isn’t just in Gotham City, he’s in the DC universe.
Unikitty as The Easter Bunny: I have my reasons. Them being, Unikitty is good at being sweet and innocent, the episode “Batkitty,” and her world is one of the few Black Hat has interacted with so far. I like to think that’s because he’s too repulsed by her cuteness to touch it. So imagine his reaction when the Delightful Children bring him to her by accident while she’s cosplaying as LEGO Batman or something.
And there you have it! I had a lot of fun making this recast. It was a great way to step out of my comfort zone and to have some fun. Not to mention, I had an excuse to listen to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack early. I sincerely hope you like it as much as I do, @good-guy-is-alive!
Now I just need to make sure Black Hat himself doesn’t see this, or else he might find me and—
Oh no.
No, please, Mister Black Hat, sir, you don’t understand. I just was doing this for fun. I wasn’t trying to make you look—
OH NO.
NO!
NOOOOOOOOOOjglkajgflkjdshGH;LJF’W abfklghlfuGFARGTADS!!!#%RQ#@!
*Since DC changes their Batman shows like people change their socks, we’ll just say that this is your standard DCAU/Bruce Timmverse Batman.
3 notes · View notes
chronicbatfictioner · 6 years
Text
Theater of the Soul - Chapter 20
Thanks to Barbara and Dinah — and to no small extent, Diana Prince's — collective efforts; the news of Napier's death and investigation were kept to a minimal. As Barbara predicted, the local police had started with the more 'obvious' suspect: Jason. That, too, was kept out of the news. At least in Gotham.
When Jason was finally able — and allowed — to tell and reveal the things he remembered of the times following the accident, he was accompanied by Bruce, Barbara, and Dr Kent Nelson. The whole questioning by the police took part at the hospital, in Jason's room. Although Jason had asked for Tim to be there, too, Tim had to miss it - the police came at seven a.m.; clearly expecting Jason to be alone. None of them must have predicted Bruce and Barbara coming from the Wayne Tower penthouse - located right next to the hospital. Nor did they expect the insistence of Nurse Crystal Brown — Stephanie's mother — to not leave Jason unsupervised by an adult until Dr Kent Nelson arrived, mere minutes before Bruce and Barbara came in.
Jason's smile at Stephanie when Tim brought her in was majestic.
"Thanks for having your mom look out for me, Blond-- Steph." he said, quickly correcting himself.
Stephanie shrugged. "I told her it was you who'd gotten me to theater. All she said was not to follow your footsteps further." she grinned mischievously. "...and you still may call me Blondie. I liked having a nickname."
Jason laughed. "Ha! Yeah, I agree. I'd tell me not to follow my footsteps, too. But it would be kinda moot. Besides, this adventure is far from over, I think."
And oh, boy, was he right. Again, Tim had to give Barbara credit for somehow being able to manage the company while running an investigation under the radar.
They had eventually decided to hire Victor Sage, who had ended up interviewing Jason only with Tim present - by Jason's own consent. There was virtually no gaps from what Jason told Dr Nelson and the cops with what he'd told Sage.
Jason had recalled a few fights while he was somewhat unconscious, both involving Danny or Ellie; and Tim was certain that if Sage — or the cops, for that matter — would cross-check Jason's words against Danny or Ellie, they would corroborate the stories. Sage confirmed it a few days later, as he called with the report of having chatted with Danny and Ellie, and their mother.
What Sage brought along was the news that the local police had not come to either Danny, Ellie, or their mother. That, in Tim's mind, confirmed his suspicions that the cops would likely blame Jason for Napier's death, and blithely overlooking the underlying issue of Napier holding Jason prisoner and neglecting his injuries.
For the legal defenses, though, Barbara finally decided on Kate Spencer. Spencer, a former ADA of Gotham City before she 'crossed over to the other side' and became a Public Defender, was well known to be a ferocious defender of the wrongly accused. She was also known to flat out refuse to defend criminals or those she knew to be guilty. In spite of the numerous complaints from said criminals, she did not care, adamant on only defending the innocent.
"We need to come up with a different angle." she said when they gave her Sage's report.
"So relying on the lost street kid with daddy issue is no longer in the books?" Dick quipped.
"Definitely not. That might work for you, Grayson. But not in this case." Spencer said. "I would like your permission to dig through Wayne House's business deals." she directed the comment to Barbara.
"What are you looking for? I'm not going to forbid you from looking, just maybe I can help if I know what you're looking for." Barbara replied.
"That's what I don't know, actually. There could be something in the papers — finances, deals — that lead to Napier or, presumably, the person who wanted Napier dead. There has to be a cross in there somewhere. There is just no rhyme or reason why Napier would zoom in to Jason instead of Grayson here, for instance. Or maybe even to young Drake here - he's got some assets of his own that Napier could assimilate without much fanfare or effort."
Tim blinked as a schematic started to appear in his brain. "Oh, I think I know what you're looking for. The first question of a murder is not 'who did it', right? It's 'who benefits'." he said. "You want to see if anyone other than Napier would benefit from his own death."
Spencer glared at Tim with such intensity that Tim reflexively curled back into himself and kind of hide behind Jason. "You... I think you would've been a more beneficial hostage, but I can also see why you'll be more of an effort. You're smart..." she paused and looked at Jason. "not saying you're not, just..."
"No need to backtrack, lady, Timmy is a genius. Not smart. He'd seen a scheme from miles away even before anyone come close." Jason waved her off. They have decided on having the meeting in Jason's hospital room, and Jason was quite happy with it, he did not feel like he was being left out. But for Tim, the main reason would be the fact that Barbara has full control of all kind of surveillance devices within the hospital. If there is an anomaly - i.e. a bug or a hidden camera; she would know right away. "What scheme then, Timmers? Care to share with the rest of the class?" Jason prompted, prodding Tim to get out from behind him.
"I'm not sure yet.." Tim admitted reluctantly. "It's just... I thought it a bit-- kind of jumping the gun with the way Napier had built his scheme. He would not need to get you seen in LA's theater industry like he'd done. He would not need to make you visible in the industry, even by booking you the shows you've deemed to be small gigs. He could just get you there, and then ditch you, banking on the idea that you won't call Bruce to get you home out of shame for doing small gigs instead of 'major' LA shows." he explained.
"Even if he wouldn't call Bruce, Jay would've called me." Dick pointed out. "Or Babs, or you."
Jason nodded. "Yeah. Probably Dick, though - he owed me fifty bucks. Still owe me, actually." he said, pointedly ignoring Dick's dirty looks at him. "I'm not stupid enough to not know how to call collect." He added, maturely emphasizing his statement by sticking out his tongue at Dick. 
"Or he could've gotten you hooked to drugs or alcohol - quicker still even with you resisting." Tim pointed out. "I'm just reading out all kinds of scheme here - maybe more of the 'fallen angel' trope of Hollywood."
"I don't and won't do drugs, ever." Jason replied. Then he paused, looking at his IV line. "Okay, maybe once my pins are out, I'll stop. But this thing is prescribed." he added defensively, pointing at the IV.
"That's just saline, you only have painkillers when you go to sleep, and the next painkillers are on standby for physical therapy sessions." Barbara told him.
Jason glared at her in surprise. "What?? You mean I can ask for painkillers after physical therapies?? Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?" he demanded.
"Well, you didn't look like you need it." Barbara pointed out. "They did give you one at night, didn't they?"
"I was miserable the whole day!" Jason protested.
"Guys? Focus?" Dick groaned. "Tim was giving us his theories here."
Jason pouted, but returned his glare to Tim. "Go on. I might be persuaded with alcohol, though. But turning someone to an alcoholic can't happen overnight."
"Right. Worst case, but simpler scenario, still, he could just trafficked Jason out of the country." Tim continued. "Instead he just drugged Jason and dumped him out of the way. I'm still not... clear on why."
"I think he just wanted to destroy Bruce." Jason shrugged. "I mean, we all know who Bruce's favorite son is." he added with an waspish grin toward Dick. "And by that I mean the one Bruce would move mountains for. Taking me would not make him move mountains."
"He would, too!" Dick protested. "But, anyway. Regardless of the 'why,' you're still not answering the 'who benefits' question." Dick reminded.
"That's just it. I can't see Napier benefiting much from destroying Bruce. If he wanted fortune, he could just... collaborate, maybe?" Tim mused.
"...on Burlesque shows?" Dick scoffed. "No offense, but he should've collaborated with the Kane House for that. Not us."
"I agree," Jason nodded. "So when did Kane House asked to join again?"
"You're not expecting Kane House to..." Dick gasped.
"Oh no, no. Just curious." Jason clarified. "I mean, I've told you before I left that at this rate, the only houses that would remain in Gotham would be the Wayne and Cobblepot--"
"That's it!" Tim suddenly exclaimed, startling Dick and Jason.
"Jeez, Tim, warn a guy!" Jason retorted.
"Sorry, guys. Just... that's just it. No one would benefit if the Wayne House is destroyed but two: Kane House or Elliott House." Tim said. "Kane House had opted to join Wayne House, due to their familial ties. Elliott House?"
"Mama Elliott have been whistleblowing that she would rather merge than vanish..." Barbara said. "But her son... not so much."
"I thought Tommy Elliott is a physician?" Jason said. "Why would he care for theaters?"
"I don't know. Buuut..." Dick shrugged. "It's the most... well... plausible thing I've heard."
"Right, so we'll bookmark that theory for now and look for supporting evidence." Spencer remarked. "I need to be in court in an hour, folks, so if you'll please excuse me."
They thanked Kate and ordered some Chinese food for their dinner - even after the protests of the nurses. Hey, Jason has problems with his legs, not his tummy. And he's a growing boy. Or so Jason claimed. Plus, it's not like he wouldn't eat the hospital food, anyway. Not even the threat of gaining too much weight to hinder his physical therapy session could deter him from eating.
12 notes · View notes
hessafeelsfordayss · 7 years
Text
Theories/Rants.
This really is my last post on this matter. Unless I find out some new information. I know you all are probably tired of these, but I just really need to vent. I always leave things out in my other posts, but this time I'm gonna try my best not to leave anything out. Just warning you this is going to be really long, might contain some spoilers, and is probably unorganized. The choice is yours whether you read it or not. If you disagree that's fine, just please be respectful. If you agree, please let me know. :)
So first, I'm pretty irritated at the people who still say Jerome's not the Joker. I mean how much more proof do some of you need? Both Cameron and Danny have already confirmed Jerome is the Joker, plus all the clues point to him. He was officially called Joker in Jerome's rebirth promo, plus Danny was talking about Jerome at comic con and called him the Joker. Also, Jerome has way too many similarities with all the versions of Joker (especially Ledger, Leto, and Nicholson) Plus not to mention that you can spell 'Joker' with Jerome's full name (Jerome Valeska). I just don't understand how people can still say that he isn't, even after all the hints, and even confirmations. Not to mention the Joker card was in the episode where Jerome was resurrected. So anyway, to those wondering or doubting, he is indeed Joker (thank God). Just wanted to get that out there.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(There’s a lot more, but I’m just gonna stick with these)
Anyway, my second biggest issue is how people are saying Lee can't be Harley. I just want to point out that Gotham is an entirely different universe, and anything is possible.They stay true to the characters, but they make it their own to make it more interesting. Like for example; no one is supposed to know Joker's real name or his past, but we know a little about Jerome's past, such the fact that he grew up in a circus, with an absent father and a mother that abused him. Plus  we know his real name. So it is very possible for Lee to become Harley. Anyway, the two main reasons people think that she 'can't become Harley' is because she's already an important character in the comics, and shes's too old for Jerome. I understand she's her own character in the comics, but this version of Lee doesn't really match the comic book versions. First of all Lee in the comics is supposed to help Alfred raise Bruce, and be a mother-like figure to him. This Lee was basically just made to be Jim's on and off love interest (so far). She's only met Bruce a few times, and she's never mentioned that she knew Thomas and Martha. Also, Lee in the comics is supposed to be way older, whereas this Lee isn't that old. She said she was around the same age as Grace Fairchild (One of the ogre's victims).. so I would say she's in her mid or late twenties.
Leslie in the comics:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Grace Fairchild:
Tumblr media
Now the second reason, is people say she is too old for Jerome. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say Jerome doesn't care about age. I mean he has come onto both Barbara and Lee. Both ladies are older than him, not to mention he's the one that flirted with them first. I really think he may have mommy issues. Like some girls grow up with either an absent father or a bad father, so they end up having daddy issues. I believe it's the same case for Jerome considering he didn't get the love and affection from his mother that a child should. He's flirted with Barbara and called her gorgeous, and he's flirted with Lee, called her pretty, and asked her if they ever had sex. So he's obviously attracted to them. And I believe they're attracted to him as well. Barbara acted disinterested, but there was moments where she would flirt back. Like she would laugh at his jokes, and she even said 'the kid had a way about him.' Then, to me, Lee has seemed interested from day one. She watched him in the interrogation room and had a slight smirk (the corners of her mouth were lifted slightly), then after the interrogation was over she was still thinking about it and even said 'it was ugly but thrilling.'
This was her still thinking about what happened.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Then when he came back alive and took her hostage you could really tell. At first glance, she did seem disinterested I admit. But when you watch it again, and you pay close attention to the way they look at each other, watch their body language and etc, you can tell they feel something. Whether it be lust, fascination, desire, etc. Of course she was gonna act all hard and tough, I mean he’s a psychotic criminal and she was probably ashamed for her feelings (both because he’s crazy and younger than her), but you see moments where it looks like she lets her guard down and she's close to giving in.  I know he liked both of them, but I think he feels more of a connection with Lee though. Don't get me wrong, he and Barbara seemed to have chemistry too, but I think he has a soft spot for Lee. I noticed Jerome used to get annoyed with Barbara a lot. Like he would roll his eyes at her and shake his head and you could just tell she annoyed him. One of those times was when she punched Lee at the gala. And I know that’s how Joker is with Harley, but I still think he has more of a connection with Lee.  With Lee, he seems kind of protective over her in his own way. He has both saved and spared her life. In 'The Last Laugh' he saved her from being stabbed by Barbara. Then in 'Smile Like You Mean It' and 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' she's the only one he didn't try to hurt or anything. In 'Smile Like You Mean It' he killed two cops, and Dwight. Then in 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' he went after Bruce and was gonna kill Alfred too. Then he made his own torture circus, where he and his cult tortured many innocent people. He dropped that guy into the piranha tank, and he stabbed the clown that was doing Bruce's makeup. He even shot someone from his own cult just because he was cheering for him too loud. All he did to Lee was hold her hostage, and then tied her hands to the examination table. He didn't hurt, or kill her. And believe me, he had plenty of motive.. considering Jim is the one that put him in Arkham in the first place. He knows how much Lee meant to Jim, and he knew it would have been the best way to hurt him.. but all he did was tie her up, and gag her. And a lot of people say that he only spared her life for the sake of keeping her character on the show, but why did they choose Lee's character to be there anyway? Usually, I would've thought it was a coincidence, had it not been for the fact that Lee was always present during Jerome's most important scenes. She was present during it all. She was there when he was first introduced (she was also the reason they were there in the first place. Both because she had circus tickets, and she's the one that found out about Lila.) She was there when they found Lila's body, she was in the interrogation room (which was the first, and last time she was in there while a suspect was being interrogated), she was at the GCPD when Jerome and the Maniax were shooting up the place, she was the one he and Barbara took hostage at the gala (she also witnessed his death), and she was the one he took hostage when he first woke up. The writers are in control of everything.. why would they choose Lee's character out of all the other characters to be present during all these scenes?
Also "Everyone else has seen the Joker laugh, but only Harley has ever seen him cry."- Arleen Sorkin. Lee held and comforted Jerome when they found his mother's body (I know he was faking, but I still think it counts. The thing that stood out to me was the fact that Lee held him.. because I think Harley is the only one who gets to hold the Joker and see him cry.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
He wasn’t crying here, but she’s holding him from behind in a kind of similar way.
Tumblr media
Plus there are many characteristics that she already has in common with Harley. Like the fact that she's a doctor, with trauma training. Even though she's not a professional psychiatrist like Harley, she basically is still somewhat of a therapist. Considering people always go to her when they need someone to talk to, plus she's always giving therapeutic advice. Like she talked to Barbara about Jason, since that was the only way Barbara would have talked to anyone. We all know the reason now, but she still talked to her. Then she was the one Alfred called when he thought Bruce was going through some trauma from being kidnapped and needed someone to talk to. Lucious went to her and asked why someone would engage in such cat and mouse games like Ed was.  And Jim even called her a residential therapist.  A big bonus is not only is she a doctor, but she also worked at Arkham. That's where she was first introduced on the show. Plus in the comics, Suicide Squad, and The Animated Series Joker calls Harley 'doc' or 'doctor' a lot. Lee is the only one Jerome calls doc.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
There's also some small, but relevant clues. Like the fact that her name is Leslie Thompkins, but she mainly goes by Lee. Lee is both in Harleen, and Harley (Harlee), so she could easily change her name to one of the two. Plus is you say it out loud, Thompkins can also kind of sound like ThompQuinns. Before Barnes was infected his name was Nathaniel Barnes, but when he got infected he renamed himself 'the executioner'. So she could change her name as well. I know Jim gave her the antidote, but the news reporter said there was only a 90% cure rate. Plus she was infected not only once, but twice. She first injected the blood into her arm willingly, and then she also got hit with it again when the bomb went off. Plus she didn't want to take the antidote, so it may affect her differently than everyone else. And who's to say the antidote would be 100% effective anyway.. considering it was the first batch that was made (I'm pretty sure, could be wrong though). My point is she could still come back, with a new persona. Anything could be possible at this point. She could still have some of the virus running through her veins, and she lied to Jim maybe. Or she could be cured, but because she liked the dark side so much she could choose to be bad still. I don't believe Lee is gonna be gone long, because Morena didn't say she anything about leaving the show or anything. So I believe she will be back. Maybe go back to Gotham and work at Arkham again? Or something along those lines. Another small but relevant clue is she has a sister. As far as I know Barbara was an only child, that little girl looked to be an only child, and I think Silver was an only child. But Silver isn't possible anymore. Since she wasn't in the finale. It's narrowed down between the little girl, Lee, and Barbara. Possibly fish, but I seriously doubt it. Anyway in the comics Harley makes it known that she has a daughter with Joker named Lucy, who her sister takes care of.
Tumblr media
So that's a pretty big clue to me. Especially because it's new 52 Harley (the one with red and black hair). Let's also not forget the fact that the writers and David Mazouz said that Harley is definitely in the finale, and Lee was wearing all Harley colors in that episode. First she was wearing a black and white dress, then red and black, and then at the end of the episode she was wearing blue, red, black, and white. (other Harley colors).
Her outfits before the antidote:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Her entire outfit was red and black.. even her sunglasses, shoes, and purse.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
After the antidote:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Plus Lee has been highlighted in red a lot this season. Like in the light her hair  highlights red, plus she wore red and black a few times (especially towards the finale), and her house was red and black.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Another small clue is she acted a lot like Harley when she had the virus. She was still corny, she laughed a lot, she was manipulative, she was flirty/ seductive, and a lot of people don't talk about this, but her eyes turned blue in Babs and Tabs club (in the finale may I mention) and in the train. So she was wearing Harley colors, she had Harley traits (enhanced strength and agility; Throwing Butch across the bar), and her eyes turned blue.. all in the same episode which happens to be the episode Harley was supposed to appear in.
Her being corny/sarcastic/flirty:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Harley traits: Red and black, enhanced strength, and blue eyes.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And we have to narrow it down guys. The writers, and David both said Harley was for sure in the finale. Some more things they've said about Harley's character is 'you may have already seen Harley as someone you thought you had met and known for a long time', 'this person will somehow be connected to the Joker Cult World', and 'Harley's appearance is gonna be crazy.' They said her appearance will be crazy enough to be the launching point into season four. So the only ones that match with all of these is Lee and Barbara. The little girl we didn't meet nor know for a long time, as far as we know she isn't connected to the Joker Cult World, but her first appearance was crazy. Some people are saying she had pigtails, and a red purse.. but I’m pretty sure she didn't. She had one ponytail, and her purse was brown. She did however have a checkered skirt on, and a pink shirt I think.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Plus don't get me wrong, but that family seemed happy. Harley's family was damaged. Her father was a criminal, and her mother always compared her to evil people. She wanted to work at Arkham in the first place because she wanted to know why her father was the way he was. In this family the father actually tried to save his family, and the mother tried to guard her. I think they put that family in there randomly just to show Bruce starting to become Batman.. or maybe she will be the future Batgirl. I could actually see that happening, especially since Batgirl kind of looked up to Batman. This little girl will more than likely look up to Bruce since he saved her family. Cameron and Ben were once tweeting each other and Cameron said 'spoilers: BATGIRL' or something along those lines. Ben also got asked if Batgirl was gonna be part of this universe and he said they've been talking about it and they have to see where Jim is, and where Barbara is. Plus someone asked Erin if Batgirl would be part of the show or something along those lines, and she said there probably wouldn't be a baby because that would be the end for Barbara. So the show is talking about bringing Batgirl in it, but Erin said their probably wouldn't be a baby. So I could really see that little girl becoming Batgirl. I think they're either planning on doing that, or it was just a coincidence. I honestly don't think she's Harley. Nothing really 'screamed Harley'  to me other than the fact that she appeared in the episode they said Harley would be in, and the checkered skirt and pink shirt. I think it would be a bad move for them to make her Harley. Because the actress herself was really young. People are saying Lee and Barbara are too old for Jerome.. well the little girl is too young for Jerome and Cameron. I know Harley is supposed to be younger than Joker and Batman, but if this little girl is Harley then we won't get to see any scenes between Harley and Jerome. People are gonna get mad at me, but be honest, when you think of Joker who else do you think of? Harley. And when you think of Harley who else do you think of? Joker. Sometimes Ivy. Erin Richards herself said they're a team. We won't get any Jarley scenes if Cameron is 23 and the little girl is probably 12. Don't you all want to see Jerome and Harley interaction scenes? Or even Harley and Ivy scenes. Once again there won't be any scenes between Harley and Ivy due to the fact that Maggie is 30 and the little girl is around 12. Now I would be okay if they were just showing the little girl to introduce her, and then maybe recast her with someone older.. but I really don't think it's her. She only adds up to one thing, out of three.
Then there's Barbara, who adds up with all three. We've met and known her for a long time, she's connected to the Joker Cult World (she's interacted with Jerome), and I thought it was pretty crazy that she got electrocuted. That could probably be crazy enough to be the launching point into season four. But once again, I really don't think she's gonna be Harley either. She could be, and I guess I would be okay with that if she portrays her right, but I really don't think she is. You all are gonna think I'm crazy, and I probably am for thinking this, but what if Barbara is gonna be Livewire? Now I know her background and stuff doesn't match Livewire's, but she did get electrocuted. If I remember correctly Livewire was electrocuted (I don't know too much about her, so go easy on me.. I'm probably wrong). There are a few different versions of how it happened. Like in one version she was about to be in a helicopter crash when Supergirl saved her. But Supergirl got struck by lightning and the electricity went through her and to Leslie. Another version I think Superman was trying to save her from the stage because it caught on fire and he got electrocuted and it passed through her as well. My point is, pretty much in every version, Leslie became livewire through electrocution. Also when Leslie becomes Livewire her hair turns blue (in some versions bluish-gray) and her eyes get a really light blue. Also her skin becomes really pale. Barbara was really pale, and her eyes were really blue when she got electrocuted. She could have died and it's only natural for her to look like that.. but what if she didn't die? I believe it's possible. Not to mention, in Supergirl Leslie was blonde and had blue eyes, like Barbara. Plus as far as I know, Livewire is seductive and a little corny as well. And I'm not sure how accurate this is, but someone said one of the writers said they would like for Barbara and Harley to team up when Babs and Tabs break up. Harley, Livewire, and Poison Ivy teamed up for a little bit in the animated series. Plus I know Livewire is more of a Superman villain, but she does make appearances in Batman the Animated Series. I'm probably wrong, but it's possible. Either that or maybe the electrocution will make her sane? Maybe Barbara herself will become Batgirl?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I believe she could still become Harley though. She looked pale, and she was already displaying Harley- like character traits. In Suicide Squad movie Joker shocks Harley's brain.. so it's still possible. Also to be fair, I'm not counting anyone out, there was also Fish in that episode, but I highly doubt she's Harley. She does have some characteristics.. such as using a bat for a weapon, she's bi, she has one blue eye, and she wears black and red all the time. But her personality doesn't match Harley's in the slightest. She's more of a leader, and she's mainly about power and respect. So the one I really think is Harley is Lee. She's a character we've thought we've known and loved for a long time (she's changed a little bit every season. In season one she was this corny, sarcastic, lovable doctor. Then in season two she was still the same, but she was becoming a little darker, and then in season three we got to see a really dark side of her. One that acts a lot like Harley). She's connected to Jerome (Joker Cult World) she even nursed one of his cult members and she's seen how they dress. She was present during most of his important scenes, and she's interacted (and flirted) with him. And I wouldn't necessarily say her leaving was crazy, since she said she was going to for a while now, but it did kind of leave us hanging. Plus her leaving and coming back bad again could be a good launching point. Now, when she injected herself with the virus and first became evil, that was pretty crazy. Maybe that's what they meant? 
"She's definitely one of the more unpredictable members of the squad. She also used to be a psychiatrist so she has an extensive knowledge of mental illnesses and how to manipulate people-- I'm sorry, well, she has a lot of knowledge on how to profile people, pick their triggers, and as Harley Quinn she kind of utilizes that to just manipulate people and mess with them." - Margot Robbie. When Lee was infected with the virus she manipulated Jim by saying she was in love with him. I honestly don't think she loved Jim anymore.. because when you love someone you put their needs before your own. She literally gave him no other choice but to take the virus, knowing how much he didn't want to. She was gonna let him die if he didn't take the virus. It was basically a lose-lose situation for Jim and a win-win situation for Lee. And she didn't want to be with the normal Jim, she only wanted to be with him while he had the virus. So Lee didn't love Jim.. at least not truly love him. Because if she did she would have put his needs before hers. They basically confirmed this.
Unrequited Love: Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it.
Tumblr media
Another thing that I want to point out is Lee craved darkness all this time. I called it from day one since she watched Jerome in the interrogation room. She was watching him with intrigue, and you can see her smirk slightly when he revealed his true nature. "It's pretty obvious when you think about it. Perfect Doctor Lee Thompkins, why would she be drawn to a man with so much darkness and such an appetite for violence? Unless something inside her liked it. Craved it. Needed it." This makes me think of that sickness Harley has, where it turns her on when her partner does something bad. So if she craved darkness all this time, there’s no way she wasn’t at least a little attracted to Jerome. He’s the darkest character on the show. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And don’t you all find it a little strange that there was two ‘Doctor Leslie Thompkins’ on the show? Because I do. This is probably the craziest theory I’ve ever had, but what if Lee’s real name was Harleen, and she stole the other woman’s identity.. Yeah this is by far the craziest theory, but I just think it’s so weird that there was two. I know the show loves to keep us guessing, but I’ve also noticed they love to give hints and subtly foreshadow things.
She’s even credited as ‘Doctor Leslie Thompkins’ in the cast.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Some more things that are small but relevant clues:
1. She's seen how Mary Loyd does her makeup (The heart under the same eye as Harley) 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
2. She has the obsession part
First she was obsessed with Jerome’s case, then she was obsessed with blaming Jim for Mario’s death, and then she was obsessed with Jim taking the virus and embracing ‘who he really is’. She’s a character of obsession, as is Harley.
Tumblr media
3. Histrionic Disorder: 
Histrionic Personality Disorder:
-Dress provocatively and/or exhibit inappropriately seductive or flirtatious behavior
Tumblr media
Her whole outfit screamed ‘look at me!’ Her breasts were popping out big time, her eyeliner was heavy enough to draw attention to her, and she was wearing sunglasses. I know wearing sunglasses is normal, but I don’t know about you all but I notice someone a lot faster when they’re wearing sunglasses. 
Tumblr media
Her inappropriately flirting with Alfred 
Tumblr media
-Shift emotions rapidly
-Act very dramatically, as though performing before an audience, with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity
(She’s done this quite a lot actually. She made a huge scene and outed Jim in front of the other GCPD officers, she especially did this when she went to the GCPD and told Harvey she buried Jim alive. Not to mention she threw Butch across the bar, not caring who saw.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-Be overly concerned with physical appearance
-Constantly seek reassurance or approval
-Be gullible and easily influenced by others
(It didn’t take much effort from Jervis to convince her Mario’s death was ‘all her fault’. She’s more gullible than you would expect.)
-Be excessively sensitive to criticism or disapproval
(She was yelling at Jim and blaming him for Mario getting infected, but when Jim stood up for himself, she seemed really hurt.)
Tumblr media
-Not think before acting
-Make rash decisions
-Be self-centered and rarely show concern for others
4. Similarities/parallels 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
5. She's 'sane' right now, but I believe she will return and be bad again. This is a common thing for Harley. She switches from good to bad a lot 
8. Hers and Jerome's connection..
They show common body language signs of attraction:
1. Mirroring: Copying the other’s gestures, word phrases, etc.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Frequent touching:
She squeezed his bicep.
Tumblr media
I understand it’s only normal for her to grab a hold of him out of surprise.. but one of her hands was on his already, and then she hesitantly placed her other hand on top of his other hand. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Prolonged eye contact: Not to mention the way they look at each other. I haven’t seen them look at anyone else the way they look at each other. You don’t look at just anyone like that.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
9. Morena basically confirmed herself as Harley: I think her emoji‘s meant she visited Mad Hatter in Arkham, which then linked to her injecting herself with the virus, and becoming Harley Quinn. <3
Tumblr media
Both Lee and Harley have high-intelligence listed as one of their abilities. Amanda Waller once called Harley a genius. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is really long and probably very unorganized and I apologize. There’s also probably a lot of mistakes, but I hope you all can overlook them :) I know I said I wouldn't miss anything, but knowing me I probably missed a lot. If you agree please let me know, I love feedback. If you don’t that’s perfectly fine just please be respectful is all I ask :) 
147 notes · View notes
davidmann95 · 7 years
Note
Since you've listed the preferences of the Superman actors, and also have done a FrankenBatman, can you do a similar worst to best list of the Batman actors in your opinion?
Skipping over Lewis Wilson and Robert Lowrey, as I haven’t seen the Batman film serials:
9. Dick Gautier
youtube
Adam West’s fill-in for a 1974 Equal Pay PSA, his impression is far from up to snuff, with not an iota of West’s hilariously sincere conviction.
8. Val Kilmer
Tumblr media
I’m what might be called a Batman Forever apologist - as opposed to Batman and Robin, which requires no apologies - but Val Kilmer’s flat, passionless performance is certainly not one of the aspects I would leap to the defense of. I suppose he deserves some credit for being the last to wear an acceptable big-screen Batman costume for 21 years, but bleak as 1995-2016 was in that regard, no cowl is enough to cover up that he just wasn’t a very good Batman.
7. Bruce Thomas
Tumblr media
The Onstar Batman may not have had a chance to make much of an impression in his 6 commercials - nor did he give any kind of impression that there was some kind of grand take on the character just waiting to show itself - but he did pretty well with what time he had, with some decent comic timing and a straight-faced attitude to fighting the Joker, Penguin, and Riddler that managed the tricky balancing act of showing a serious version of Batman who regardless still clearly enjoyed his job.
6. Michael Keaton
Tumblr media
I’m not totally certain I ever fully bought Keaton as Batman - his greatest performance in superhero movies wouldn’t come until, of all things, his time as the Vulture in Spider-Man: Homecoming - but I still most certainly bought him as an unhinged trust fund millionaire who would beat the snot out of sword-wielding street punks and a sewer-dwelling Danny DeVito, and that goes a long way. Plus he casually backhanded that one guy so fantastically it’s been a cultural shorthand for how awesome Batman is ever since.
5. George Clooney
Tumblr media
While he delivered maybe the 5th-best performance of the thoroughly amazing Batman and Robin, it was regardless a seriously underrated one. His Batman may not have quite found the line overall between serious and camp it seemed to be aiming for, but he still had a number of great individual moments under the cowl, he was a smooth as hell Bruce Wayne, and his work bouncing off Michael Gough’s Alfred and Chris O’Donnell as Robin was A+ all the way. If nothing else, his delivery of “She wants to kill you, Dick” was Oscar-worthy.
4. David Mazouz
Tumblr media
From what fairly little I’ve seen, Gotham is an utterly bonkers and entertaining Batman show at its heart, but one utterly and irrevocably crippled by a delusional self-image of actually being about Jim Gordon and generic cop show bullshit, rather than baby Batman hanging out with baby Catwoman under the world’s crankiest babysitter in Alfred as supervillains ham it up at each other. Insomuch as there’s a soul to the thing though, it has to be Mazouz, who pulls off a solid performance of a Bruce Wayne who deep down is already very much Batman, but in spite of his willpower and conviction simply doesn’t yet have the skill, maturity or perspective as to how to apply himself yet, with all the frustration that brings as he figures it out a bit at a time. Seeing him confront his parents’ killer or hold strong in the face of Cameron Monaghan’s proto-Joker, it’s honestly difficult to believe he’s even operating in the same genre as most of his co-stars, much less the same actual program.
3. Ben Affleck
Tumblr media
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice has a boatload of sins to be held accountable for, but the casting of Affleck as the caped crusader to fill Bale’s considerable shoes was not one of them. His Bruce Wayne is simultaneously genuinely charming while having *just* enough of an air of sleaze that he’d be believably overlooked, while his Batman…well, feels like Batman in a way no one else has quite matched, with the kind of visceral, focused intensity and righteous hate you’d expect from a guy who’s spent almost of a quarter of a century trying to fist-fight crime into submission, with an entire unseen history of allies lost and ground wars against brilliant, sociopathic crimelord-artists, while still showing the kind of sympathy in his rescue of Martha Kent and encounter with Deadshot in Suicide Squad to make clear there’s a soul underneath. While he hasn’t gotten a proper opportunity to strut his stuff yet - even the most generous interpretations of this version up to this point hold that he was *intentionally* being written entirely out of his character in his debut - if Matt Reeves and Chris Terrio bring it for The Batman, I could absolutely see him topping this list down the line (especially if they don’t try and fix what’s broken with that suit, the first palatable modern take on his uniform that only makes him look all the more like he stepped off the page).
2. Christian Bale
Tumblr media
If Christian Bale committed a single sin in his tenure as Batman, it was that when he screamed “SWEAR TO ME!!!!!!” in that one crooked cops’ face before dropping him 10 stories, stopping him right above the ground, and then having him fall on his face, he was fully conscious that it was the hypest shit of all time, and mistakenly believed his Batman voice should be at that level of intensity all the time rather than the lighter degree of raspiness he went with in Begins. The voice aside though - I think it largely worked given it was meant to scare the shit out of muggers, though I’ll admit it really did get to be a bit much in Rises - he was tremendously better as both Bruce Wayne and especially Batman than he was ever really given credit for at the time. It’s not entirely surprising; he was surrounded by bold, charismatic figures being pushed to their limits and capital-A Acting, while the very nature of what he was doing meant keeping it a bit more emotionally reserved. But his Bruce Wayne was almost immaculate in his grand douchebaggery, his sparring with Alfred gave us some of those characters’ best scenes in their almost 75 year relationship, and his Batman was haunting, enraged, and unstoppable. I suspect he could have been pushed a bit farther though; while I entirely disagree with the notion of Christopher Nolan’s films being cold and emotionless, I feel like a lot of the time he was played a note or two low in terms of intensity when taking it further could have made him stand out much more, and made clearer his actions under the cowl were as much an extension of his personal rage as an act to frighten the superstitious and cowardly. Regardless, he can absolutely hold his head high as the definitive modern interpretation of the character to the world at large.
1. Adam West
Tumblr media
With every Batman up above, there’s always at least one ‘but’. They were great except; he’d be perfect if not; so on and so forth. That is not the case with Adam West. The superheroes’ superhero, he was the ultimate straight man to a world of camp madness, whether refusing to throw a bomb in a lake when it’d endanger a group of ducklings, making leaps of deduction that held more in common with dadaist poetry than criminal psychology with a 100% success rate, or somehow summoning up the willpower to not stop Batmaning to go run off into the sunset with Julie Newmar’s impossibly gorgeous Catwoman. The epitome of Batman as father-figure, dedicated keeper of public order, and crimefighting savant - as well as a damn smooth Bruce Wayne - he leapt off the pages of the New Look-era titles and defined a platonic ideal of decent-hearted superheroism that carries weight to this day. More than any to succeed him to date, he was a perfect, hilarious embodiment of his time’s vision of Batman, taking it to a level that can truly be said to have redefined the character to an extent no one else to wear the cape has come close to matching.
44 notes · View notes
ciathyzareposts · 5 years
Text
Batman Returns – World’s Greatest Thumb-Twiddler (Lost!)
Written by Joe Pranevich
Who’s the dark knight detective that’s a hit with all the chicks? Batman! Your darned right. Welcome back to Batman Returns! Last week, I completed the first day by discovering (and stealing) an innocuous awards ceremony tape from the mayor’s office. We spent the day exploring and dealing with thugs from a circus gang, but did not spy either Penguin or Catwoman. Thus far, the game feels a bit thin with empty areas and not a lot that to explore thanks to the verbless interface. That said, the graphics are quite good and I’m enjoying bits of Danny Elfman in the soundtrack– his Batman theme is one of the musical highpoints of my childhood and adds so much to this game.
And yet, you might sense that something is off. As Alex Romanov noted in the comments to my last post, I made a critical mistake that I did not discover until the end of this session. Things didn’t go well for the Caped Crusader. Rather than whitewash it, I will narrate what happened and you can see for yourself how I spent the next four hours of play time. I am not sure whether I was completely doomed after the first day’s mistake or if there was some way that I could have recovered, but either way this is a “Lost!” post. I will try again from the start next week.
I thought he looked like the guy from Twins.
Day 2
Batman began his second day like the first one: sitting at his bat-desk and listening to the nightly news. The top story of the night is that Oswald Cobblepot, a deformed man with a penguin-like appearance, saved the mayor’s son from a kidnap attempt by the circus gang. We know (because we’re not idiots) that the Penguin orchestrated the whole scenario, but the gullible population swallows it and sees him as a hero. Perhaps Batman’s vigilante activities have primed them to accept another bird-themed hero..
I wish we had been present for this scene instead of being told about it on the news. In the movie, the circus gang attacks the mayor and his family at a tree lighting ceremony and escape through a manhole, only to have the Penguin emerge from the same (in his rubber duckie boat!) and return the child to his father. Neither Bruce Wayne nor his alter-ego are present for this scene in the film either, but we lose a lot by having it summarized by a talking head. Still, I cannot fault the game for trying to tell this story strictly from Batman’s point of view, especially as they are highlighting the detective aspect of his character.
The bat-computer is updated immediately with Penguin as a “person to watch”.
Racing to the batmobile, I find no new locations have opened up. I check Gotham Plaza, downtown, and the mayor’s office over again, but other than a few sporadic battles with the circus gang, I observe nothing new. I even search everything twice just to be sure. As far as I can tell, other than the news report at the beginning of the night, the second day has no additional content.
In the film, Penguin’s arrival on the scene is followed by a brief quest to find out his real identity. Penguin is taken to the hall of records where he searches for evidence of his name and his lost family. We later learn that Penguin used his time with the records to assemble lists of the Gotham elite’s firstborn children to abduct. The game skips this part and reveals his name immediately. Unless it comes up later, this is a lost opportunity because Batman spying on Penguin could have been a neat adventure game sequence.
Having found absolutely nothing to do, I retire for the evening and prepare for day three. I hope I am not coming off as down on the game already, but slowly mousing over rooms get boring after a while.
Day 3
Unlike the previous two, the third night does not even have a news update. There are general news stories about the decline of education standards and the increase in crime, but nothing pertinent to our case. I head to the batmobile for another evening of searching around. As before, there are no new areas to explore on our map.
I discover a clue in the mayor’s office: a stack of “party pictures” left on his desk. I scan them using my bat-scanner and return to the batcave. I do not know if there is a penalty if I had taken them instead of scanning them, but I’d rather not risk it. We cannot look at the pictures directly. Instead, we insert them into the evidence computer for processing. It reveals that they are photos from that mayor’s son’s first birthday party. There is also an option to extrapolate further, but the computer does not have enough evidence for additional conclusions. This is twice that Batman has gone to the mayor’s office and stolen something completely innocuous. We have yet to discover an actual clue.
World’s Greatest Stalker
I return to the streets to see if anything changed. Unsurprisingly, nothing did despite searching every room again. No matter how nice the graphics are, there are only so many times you can watch the same animations before you go a little nuts. The manual claims that you can fast-forward by clicking the right mouse immediately after selecting an action with you left, but I never got this to work.
There are only nine days in the game and we’ve spent three of them doing nothing. When does the plot start?
Now, I suppose.
Day 4
The fourth day starts with a news alert! The citizens of the city are sick and tired of gangs of circus performers roaming the city. They want a mayoral recall election and they want it now. Not coincidentally, Oswald Cobblepot is now the leading opposition candidate thanks to the city seeing him as the hero that they need. We know from the movie that this is all being orchestrated by Max Shreck as part of his plot to get a sympathetic mayor in office so that he can siphon electricity from the city, but the game doesn’t make that connection yet. The movie also shows Penguin eating raw fish and assaulting his supporters, but Mr. Shreck’s excellent stage-management of Cobblepot’s reputation somehow causes these incidents to be forgotten. The news even has the gall to complain that “Batman has disappeared” during these attacks; how many times have I run around the city beating up clowns in the last four days?
I explore the city again and find the standard array of empty rooms and meaningless combats. This time, I spy a feather on the mayor’s desk and pocket it. When I take that back to the evidence computer, I have my first real clue of the game! The computer identifies the feather as being from an Emperor Penguin, possibly one of penguins from an exhibit at the Old Zoo. The computer further believes that the feather is intended as a threat or a calling card, to tell the mayor that the Penguin is after him. Could the pictures from the previous night be a similar threat? What if they were taken by Penguin’s gang to show the mayor how closely he and his family are being watched?
Going to the zoo, zoo, zoo… how about you, you, you…
The best thing about this evidence is that I have a new location on the Batmobile’s map: the Old Zoo, in the southwest corner. I discover it deserted but ready for exploration. I’m not sure either from the game or the movie whether the zoo is still in operation or whether the remaining animals, including a large flock of penguins, were just left to starve on their own. I don’t think that Penguin could hide inside of an active zoo, but I also find it hard to believe that they would have left all of the animals behind in a closed one. Maybe I should blame Tum Burton for loving the idea of an abandoned zoo without considering the logistics of it.
A cave for polar bears?
The penguin exhibit!
The zoo is not a huge place and we can’t explore it very deeply. All we have is an overhead view where Batman is perched on a tree, plus views of the outside of “Arctic World” and a cave. We cannot go into “Arctic World”, although we can at least zoom in to the entrance of the cave. That’s where we discover our second piece of evidence of the night: an old circus poster. I scan that and return to the batcave.
The poster is for a circus that disbanded five years ago. The computer further deduces that the circus performers are the same ones that are terrorizing the city. That suggests that the thugs are connected to the zoo and, by extension, the Penguin! Holy moley! The movie makes this explicit much earlier, but I like the way the game is telling this story exclusively from Batman’s perspective.
Before concluding my most successful night yet, I take one more spin around all of the locations to see if I find anything new. I do not, but at least I feel better that the plot is starting up.
How did you get my Skype?
Day 5
I am more than halfway through the game! I considered ending the post here, but there isn’t quite enough content yet. The plot thickens immediately as the Penguin sends Batman a video message directly to the batcave. He wants Batman to know that he has a tape of evidence against the mayor that he will release soon. Once the people discover how corrupt their leader is, they will surely pick Penguin as his replacement. He claims that he is telling us this because he wants to “play fair”, but there is likely another reason. In the film, he’s trying to draw Batman out so that he can be discredited. I’m not sure if the game has the narrative ability to present that well.
Now that I consider it, the craziest part of the game is that you could possibly go from a petition to a recall election in less than a week. Just printing ballots and arranging polling stations would take more than that. Real world gears turn much more slowly, plus Penguin could be just as easily recalled if he won the election. In the film, the timeframe is less explicit but still condensed, starting from the tree-lighting and ending sometime before Christmas; four weeks at most.
Jinkies! Another clue!
I run through my well-practiced tour of every room in the city and find two new clues in the mayor’s office: a photo on a side-table and remodeling plans on his desk. I take them back to the batcave for further consideration.
Who is Byron Orton?
Thanks to our evidence computer, we learn that the photo is of the mayor and Byron Orton. “Who is Bryron Orton?” you might ask? The biographical computer reveals that he is the publisher of the Gotham Gazette and a tabloid called The Tell All. It appears that the mayor is courting him in an effort to improve his standing among the press and to get some positive coverage before the snap election. Mr. Orton appears to be an original creation for this game with no comic book or movie tie-ins, nor does he appear in any of the drafts of the script that I have located. I think– but I am not sure– that Byron’s image is actually Don Landon, a video editor on Batman Returns and a long-time engineer for Park Place Productions. This guess is based on a grainy photo in the manual for NHL Hockey (1992) for the Sega Genesis, so I apologize if I have made a mistake. This is as good a time as any to tell you that Batman’s citizen database has been gradually updated as the game progresses. Catwoman appears for the first time now, for example, plus Penguin’s entry has been updated to talk about the extortion threat. I don’t check them all every day to see what else might be different.
The plans are of a defense-oriented remodel of someplace, but neither we nor the mayor seems to be sure of where. The mayor’s notes suggest that he believes Max Shreck is up to something, but he doesn’t know what. The computer helpfully tells us that a ventilation duct is the weak point in the design, a detail that I am positive will come in handy later.
Dark Knights of the Round Table?
More importantly, discovering the plans opens up Shreck’s office on the map! It’s just across from Gotham Plaza; we can enter it through one of the rooftop screens that I had already found, but not until we knew that the location was important. That gives me a bit of hope that some of these empty rooms will be less empty before the end of the game.
Searching the room carefully, I discover a hidden compartment beneath the globe on the right hand side. I have to use the lockpick, but inside is a memo which I scan for further analysis. While in his office, I get attacked by more circus people, although I am not certain whether that is a programming flaw or further indication that Shreck and Penguin are in cahoots. Back in the batcave, we learn that Shreck’s was hunting to Penguin to use his men to inflame the crime wave. Doing so will undercut the mayor’s reputation, ensuring Penguin’s eventual win. Good thing this sort of thing never happens in real life!
Catwoman attacks!
Heading back out to the city, I am attacked by Catwoman outside of Shreck’s department store. She has no difficulty with any of the weapons that I have on hand, but she eventually leaves. Did she win? Did I win? I have no idea. My computer crashed immediately afterwards and I lost all “Day 5” progress, but she did not appear when I replayed the sequence. My guess is that she is a random encounter, but I’m not sure how to defeat her if I can’t find her.
Who is Dennis Barvel?
While digging around in the computer, I notice an alert that wasn’t there before: Dennis Barvel is listed as a “Person to Watch” and plans to strike at the jewelry store, one of the downtown locations, tonight. The database tells me that he is also known as “Dominic Best”, an armed robbery specialist that likes to target banks and jewelry stores. He just got out of a four-year prison sentence and is looking to strike again. He appears to be a game-exclusive and not in either comics or the film. I head to the location and wait all night (by pushing the “next hour” button), but he never shows up. We know that the original game was to feature some non-movie content, but that the studio nixed that idea much to Bill Kunkel’s consternation. Were Barvel and Orton plot threads that were excised but not removed completely? Is it coincidence that they both show up on day five, or would I have found more if I had searched the database every night? Alternatively, am I just doing something wrong and missed an important cutscene? I have no idea.
Thanks for reminding me!
Day 6
I start the next day without having solved the mystery of Penguin’s extortion tape. He’s even kind enough to video-call me again to remind me that I need to track him down. Thanks, Penguin! He reveals that his real motivation is to expose me, making himself the hero and Batman the freak. The nightly news reveals that there is renewed violence in Gotham Plaza, obviously part of the plot that Shreck and Penguin cooked up the previous day. While not connected to the main plot, I notice that Barvel is no longer listed in the computer. I missed whatever was supposed to happen with him, if anything.
At Gotham Plaza, I enter the fight of my gaming life. Batman has to face enemy after enemy. Eventually, even the Penguin shows up. He blocks everything I throw at him with an umbrella, although I do get him to talk to me after a well-timed bolo hits him. (Or maybe the timing is a coincidence; I am not sure.)
The Penguin is surprisingly effective with his trick umbrella for both attack and defense.
The “conversation” is a brief cutscene: Batman accuses Penguin of coming downtown to admire his villainous handiwork, but Penguin replies that as a mayoral candidate he’s only touring the scene of a major riot. Being down here tonight, fighting me, is apparently good for his image!
Smacking around some bats. You know.
Eventually, Penguin flees the scene– I am uncertain whether I won or lost the fight. He is immediately replaced by Catwoman. I don’t know if this is the fight that I was supposed to have with her on the previous day or related to the riot. If I land a couple of hits on her, we get a brief dialog scene from the movie where Catwoman acts indignant that Batman would hit a woman, before laying it on him with both barrels. She’s probably making some point here about early 90s feminism, but I’m too busy being beaten up by a woman wearing a latex catsuit to understand.
And it’s not okay to hit cats either.
This whole marathon feels like a final boss. Even after Catwoman leaves, I am hounded by circus performer after circus performer. Eventually, I have to run away because I am out of weapons and taking too much damage. When I return after a recharge, I fight only one or two more battles in the plaza. Nothing special happens after I do and I search the rest of the city to find absolutely nothing. I search everything multiple times because I know that I have to find the clues that will lead me to Penguin’s videotape. Still, I come up short.
Reluctantly, I flip over to day seven and the game ends immediately. Penguin’s tape is released, showing the mayor embezzling funds from the city. This scandal ends the mayor’s political career and rockets Penguin (and Max Shreck) into a position of power in the city. The election is done. Batman is disgraced. Game over.
Yeah, I know. He reminded me twice!
But recall elections here are pretty quick and easy to arrange.
You have failed this city. Green Arrow could have solved this case.
Do I have to play again?
There is a small part of me that wants to stop here with a “Lost!” post. I think we’ve seen much of what the game has to offer in terms of interactions and combat. I cannot bring myself to give up just yet, so my plan is to replay from scratch and see if I can find things that I missed. If I make it through a second time with nothing to show for it, expect a “Request for Assistance” but I have a fishy feeling that I know what I did wrong.
Even absent a “Request for Assistance”, advice is appreciated on the Penguin and Catwoman combats. I don’t have a strategy for those except putting the game on “Fierce” and setting my DOS emulator to fast-forward because the fights take ages and get nowhere. Is there an object or a combination of objects that I should be using to win those fights?
Time played: 4 hr 10 min Total time: 6 hr 00 min
source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/batman-returns-worlds-greatest-thumb-twiddler-lost/
0 notes
spynotebook · 7 years
Link
Image: Evans Vestal Ward/NBC
After writing and filming one version of its pilot (and showing it at Comic-Con), the people behind DC Comics’ Powerless decided to completely revamp the show. That means that the new first episode, which aired last night, had a ton of major changes from the original—and here’s what they were.
1) The Setting Has Changed From a Superhero Insurance Company to Wayne Security
Let’s start with a change that was announced in the new synopsis for the show. Instead of an insurance company that pays out to people after supervillain attacks, the show now takes place at Wayne Security, a subsidiary of Wayne Enterprises. This ties the show more obviously into the larger DC universe and is a relatively stable source of jokes. (Also, there’s a shout-out to the old premise in the new pilot when, in a flashback, the main character is shown working in insurance.)
2) The Main Character Is Now a Newcomer
In the old pilot, Emily Locke (Vanessa Hudgens) was a long-time employee of the company, and she’d spent enough time living in Charm City to be deeply tired of superheroes and the damage they cause. The old pilot opened with Emily going off on Crimson Fox (Atlin Mitchell) for the way that innocent people keep getting dragged into the middle of the fights between superheroes and villains. In the new version, she’s not only excited about moving to Charm City, but being caught in-between her first superhero/villain fight. She even takes a selfie in the derailed train that she was trying to take to work.
3) ...and No One Likes Her
In the old pilot, Emily was one of the gang. Teddy (Danny Pudi) was her best friend. Now, she’s the new supervisor of a bunch of R&D nerds who don’t like her or her habit of spewing business clichés. Plus, they’re all resigned to doing their jobs, which mainly amount to ripping off Lex Corp designs rather than inventing anything new.
Emily is also the fifth manager the R&D team at Wayne Security has had over the last year, and they have learned not care about their ever-rotating bosses. Plus, she’s a business school graduate who doesn’t actually know anything about inventing new devices. All she does is tell them to invent new things, which they point out they have done. I think possibly the best joke, even if I saw it coming, was when Emily implored them all to “think outside the box” and then discover that one of their projects was a literal box.
One character invents an “Emily Alarm” to warn when “people you don’t like” are nearby. Just in case you wondering just how much her employees hate her.
The old Jackie. Image: Chris Large/NBC
4) Pretty Much Everyone Is Extremely Mean
With the exception of the character Ron—because I think making comedian Ron Funches play someone who isn’t delightful would break the universe—everyone at Wayne Security is relentlessly negative. In the old pilot, the characters were all some flavor of quirky and pretty upbeat. The old Teddy was a practical joker who tried to make the office more fun; the new Teddy is there to puncture her illusions. The old Jackie (Christina Kirk) was a superhero groupie with a cubicle plastered with photos and posters of them, and a failure as Van Wayne’s (Alan Tudyk) assistant; the new Jackie is a world-weary assistant who drops one-liners at her idiot boss. (The best example is her deadpan delivery of “You’re going to be a great father” after he threatens to fill her pockets with rocks and throw her in the river if she lies about Bruce Wayne being on the phone for him again.) If nothing else, Kirk is funny in both versions, showing her range.
5) The Man in Charge Changed From One Kind of Entitled Ass Into Another
In the original pilot, Tudyk played Del Heller, the son of the insurance company’s owner, installed when her old boss died. He was obsessed with making money by denying claims, and every act of defiance led to him punishing the office by doing things like taking away their bagels or their desks. He was both a dilettante and a tyrant. He was an angry man-child in the old of the show.
Now, Tudyk is Van Wayne—a cousin of Bruce—so desperate to get promoted to a place in the main Wayne Enterprises office in Gotham City that he’s been pressuring everyone under him to come up with something good enough to get him there. That means going through R&D department heads like Emily at a really fast clip. Also, he loves to tout his connection to Bruce Wayne constantly, to the point of his assistant having a running “Bruce Wayne is calling for you” joke. Van Wayne is just as entitled and selfish as Del Heller, but in a more conniving, less pettily destructive way.
6) The Conflict Is Completely Different
The original pilot was framed around Emily trying to fight the Heller’s dictates that they deny more of their customers’ claims. The conflict was contained inside the company, basically. The new conflict is that Wayne Enterprises shuts down their branch of Wayne Security, so Emily needs the team to make something amazing that proves they’re worth keeping in business. And then she needs to get Van—who is ecstatic that the closing of the company means he’s getting absorbed into the Gotham City office—to actually present it. It’s a two-sided fight.
But it’s one largely resolved by the end of the episode: Emily spurs the invention of something great, it keeps the office open, and Van is sad. The need to keep inventing things to stay employed may come up again, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a driving thread. In the old pilot, it seemed like the fight against the boss was going to be the theme of most episodes.
7) The Best Joke From the Original Pilot Is Missing
In the original pilot, there was a raging debate about whether or not their co-worker Hank Detweiler was really Green Lantern. The old pilot spent a lot of screen time having the characters try to prove it, including having a character smash a yellow chair over Hank. That running joke—which included Hank being suspiciously missing during villain attacks—is completely missing, as is the character of Hank (at least for now). It’s a casualty of Danny Pudi’s character going from an upbeat superhero fan to a cynical and sarcastic scientist. I’m hopeful it turns up again in another form in a later episode, because it really did work.
The new Wendy. Image: Evans Vestal Ward/NBC
8) The Superfriends Characters Are Mostly Gone
In the old pilot, Emily’s co-workers Wendy and Marvin—named for the classic but goofy Superfriends sidekicks—were squabbling siblings who happened to work together. Now, Marvin is missing completely and a new actress is playing Wendy. It’s not even clear if her name is meant to be a reference anymore.
9) In Fact, Almost Every DC Reference That Wasn’t to Batman Was Cut
I get that, as a company owned by Bruce Wayne, it makes the most sense to make Batman jokes. There are even a few Superman jokes. But the old pilot was a more pan-DC kind of show, whereas this one isn’t. Here’s a list of DC shout-outs from the old pilot our own Evan Narcisse wrote last year:
Del is shown chuckling over the Luthor biography from a few years back, while world clocks showing the time in Atlantis and Themyscira are part of the set dressing. Marvin slams Hank with a yellow, plastic-backed, wooden chair to try and find out once and for all whether he’s Green Lantern in a moment that got big laughs. When Emily is gloomy, Danny Pudi’s Eddie tries to cheer her up by saying “After the blackest day is the brightest day.” There’s a lot of self-awareness with just a touch of raunch, seen when Kirsten Wiig Christina Kirk’s Jackie groans lustily, “I wanna nail Aquaman so hard… He can breathe underwater so when he goes downtown…”
All of those are gone now. There is a meta-joke where the company is shut down because the devices it makes to help people in the event of a villain attack are useless now. “Bruce says we’re obsolete,” says Van in the new pilot. “Gone are the days of a man in a bandit mask stealing a ruby from a museum. Now it’s all just supervillains trying to destroy the Earth, superheroes fighting each other for vaguely defined reasons—our products are powerless to stop them.”
Another joke has Ron explaining that everyone knows that the “number one cause of office accidents is Superman crashing through windows mid-fight.” Both are solid jokes, but both are jokes based on general public awareness of DC’s superheroes rather than a deeper comics knowledge.
Two different Joker Venom antidotes. Image: Evans Vestal Ward/NBC
10) There’s So Much More Batman
It is almost exhausting how many Batman references are in this show. Emily is obsessed with Bruce Wayne’s book on business, quoting it constantly and carrying it everywhere. Van Wayne talks about his cousin all the time and mentions that he’s “very hard to get ahold of.” The end of the show has Batman using something very similar to the “Emily Alarm” the team invented to catch the Joker. Any one of these jokes might have worked.
All put together, Powerless ends up with the same problem that the first season of Supergirl had: they keep talking about this guy that never shows up. A charitable reading is that this overload is supposed to make clear how funny it is for these people to be working for Batman and not know it. But it’s overkill.
All in all, the new Powerless isn’t better or worse than its original pilot. It’s just very different.
0 notes