#queer childhood

[saturnniidae]

Dear animal jam user Macky28, aka my 5th grade online gf (if ur not her this isn't for u) I'm sorry for lying about my gender (that arctic wolf wasn't my 'sister' it was just my 'girl' account) and cheating on you with some random guy on my alt by role-playing warrior cats with him and following him whilst spamming the blushing and heart eyes emotes.

It is unlikely you will ever see this, but if you do, hope you can forgive me for my foolish 10y/o selfs actions and I wish you well in these trying times.

#shout out to aj online fake dating for helping kids figure out their orientation 😭🙏 #i had two accounts one id pretend to ne a girl to 'date' boys and the other id pretend to be a boy to 'date' girls 💀 #fr helped me figure out im repulsed by guys #lesbian #autism #animal jam #autistic childhood #queer childhood #its almost 7am and ive not slept yet someone sedate me #moth.txt

[chrisnightmare]

Unlearning seeing sex as binary actually does so much for my dysphoria. I definitely need to medically transition, but it's hell of a lot easier to tell the difference between my true desire and linear expectations of transition when I remember that some typically male presenting men have chests like mine, whether through fat or gynaecomastia, and some men are as short as me and have as high voices as me. Some men's bodies are shaped exactly like mine. And some of those men are trans. And some of those men are cis.

I beat myself up because I don't fit the ideal hegemonic masculine beauty standard, and I think that's because I'm trans. But there's cis guys out there feeling insecure for the exact same reasons— short, high voice, wide shoulders, small feet, small hands, small dick. We're not so different.

I think I'm exiting the place of needing to know I'm like cis guys in order to feel justified and valid. But what is still important to me is how arbitrary our sex boundaries can be sometimes. What got me started thinking about it was how not only is controlling who can go in bathrooms violently transphobic, but it always enforces a standard of women's beauty that will exclude both cis and trans women. Any cis woman with polycystic ovarian syndrome who happens to be considered too hairy to be a proper woman gets excluded. Hell, sometimes people are like me, and are trans masc and identify as both lesbian and as a man, but you know what? I don't pass as a man, I'm pre everything and I'd rather use the women's room because the men's room is guaranteed to be gross and also not safe for me. So I'm gonna use the women's bathroom, and I started having people try to chuck me out of there when I was fourteen. Back then my family had no inkling I was trans but I fully looked like a teen testosterone-puberty-expectant boy.

Sex being binary is as bullshit as gender being binary, we just have a lot less people willing to admit that, and gloss over how similar the experiences are of trans people within their preferred gender and other people who hit multiple aspects of not being a man/woman in the "right" way.

-chris

#butch lesbian positivity #trans man #butch lesbian #nonbinary #genderqueer #the binary is bullshit #nonbinary butch #genderqueer butch #trans butch #trans butch lesbian #queer childhood #pre everything #passing #trans masculinity

[lillianforest22]

Another sign that I was sapphic as a child:

Anytime I was in the underwear isle I would think. “If I was a guy and I liked women I would probably walk around the underwear isle to look at all the women in there underwear” and then spend the rest of the time staring at the floor.

#sapphic #queer #nmlnm #gay #lesbian #girls #childhood #queer childhood #gender queer

[notabled-noodle]

no reason to worry

when I was seven years old, all my friends were writing love letters to the boys in my year, and I was like "ew gross". but I wanted to fit in, so I wrote a letter to this kid called Zayn that went like... "dear Zayn, I like that you are good at maths. will you go to the disco with me?" as if that was a good reason to go to a disco with anyone

#I know I said I'd answer this tomorrow but I am answering it now #queer childhood #ask games

[void-tiger]

Kids can know or show signs that they Might Actually Be Queer, even without “le gASP!! The gays are corrupting our cHILDREN aND wOMEN!!!”

I was quite literally 4 years old (maybe even younger) when I first said “but wouldn’t girls with girls and boys with boys make more sense??” At my cousin’s wedding. After internalizing it for Quite Some Time in Kiddo’s Sense Of Time. Without ever having been “exposed” to Le Gaes.

-

…I also thought that marriage was just legally binding yourself to your best friend, having a formal stuffy ceremony in itchy Too Nice For Playing clothes, then going to a party that wasn’t even fun and lasted for HOURS with really shitty food. (If you don’t know the horrors of Vegetarian Catering for these things, count yourself fortunate.)

Turns out I’m ace and some flavor of demiromantic, in addition to sapphic.

#tiger’s musings #queer childhood #lgbtqia+ #…and honestly? jury’s out on ‘do I LIKE men? or was I just fawning Heteronormativity and wanting a Best GuyFriend ‘cause anxiety’ #time’ll tell. as in. still gotta get stable&independent enough to Move Out then Come Out #then start actively trying to find friends locally + start going on dates #but like. my ‘ohhh that was prolly a crush…’ has happened FAR more with women #whereas ‘yeah I think that was Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or Heteronormativity or Wanting A HS Event Date’ #is…honestly where my ‘is this a crush??’ on men ends up sorting #I have had maybe one (1) genuine crush on a guy. ever. #…and in hindsight I think I got lucky that he never showed any interest in me #(but while I was definitely attracted to that guy’s charima? it was still that Punit Square/List of Attributes) #(sooooo…maybe NOT so genuine? idk. 🤣)

[newlevant]

Preview of Sam Long’s story, drawn by the amazing Cynthia Yuan Cheng! (@cynthiaycheng, cynthiaycheng.com)

Becoming Who We Are Kickstarter ends Dec 14! Preorder now to help us fund the book!

bit.ly/becomingkickstarter

#becoming who we are #trans stories #trans kids #trans childhood #queer comics #trans comics #comics anthology #comics Kickstarter #Sam long #Cynthia yuan cheng #middle grade graphic novel #middle grade comics

[pityroad]

— Forfeiting My Mystique, Kaveh Akbar, in '100 Queer Poems, an anthology' (2022)

[text ID: Some saints spent their whole childhoods biting their teachers' hands and / sprinkling salt into spider-webs, only to be redeemed by a fluke shock of grace just before death. May I feather into such a swan soon.]

#kaveh akbar #quotes #sainthood #some kind of holiness #childhood #100 queer poems #mine

[howlingtothevoid]

Begging God to fix you!

(And other tales about religious trauma)

#web weaving #web weave #on grief #on love #webweaving #childhood grief #oc story: pathdog #Pathdog!Catherina #oc webweave #on religion #religious trauma #tw religious themes #catholic grief #no hate like christian love #happy valentine's day #i guess #queer tragedy

[yudol-skorbi]

we heard you like metal huh name every metal ever

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #corroded coffin #art #fanart #ITS FINALLY FINISHED #please under any circumstances dont ever think they are “cool” #they all are losers #this isnt a “cool guys” kind of art this is “your beloved comic relief childhood queer awakening villain and his funny minions” kind of art #i want what they have tbh #like seriously i would kill for a friend like eddie in school

[sentientsky]

hmmmmgrhhf thinking bout crowley and childhood trauma and abandonment and rage again

#me (a traumatized queer with mommy issues): wow this show is so fucking relatable. why isn’t it getting more attention in the media?? #sorry for the pixelly quality it is one in the morning and I cannot find better resolution images #good omens #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziracrow #go2 #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #on childhood trauma #gomens #gomens 2 #tw: mention of trauma #david tennant #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #on rage #angel!crowley #anthony j crowley

[sparklemaia]

#gender #grief #lgbtq #queer #nonbinary #transmasc #childhood #genderqueer #feelings #personal #journal comic #autobio comic

[mechacringekitty]

shoutout to people who didn't always know actually. shoutout to those that didn't have dysphoria since childhood or know something was different about them or act different or be noticeably queer. i can't be the only one and i love you

i love you <3

#i only found out being something other than cishet was a thing about three years ago! of my own volition! reading fanfic and being a kid! #that being said i dont remember a lot of my childhood [probably due to trauma] #but even now...i feel a little invalid for not being able to say ive always felt different #so hi hello i love you lets hold hands and watch the sun rise #transgender #queer #trans positivity #queer positivity #pansexual #< because i am and this is about that #i hope these are the right tags i am so aa...

[pressedwallflower]

From All of Us Strangers (2023); dir. Andrew Haigh

#all of us strangers #andrew scott #jamie bell #paul mescal #andrew haigh #indie cinema #childhood trauma #queer cinema

[keekity]

lesbians who have been together since middle school

#they both ate lunch alone until they found and latched onto each other as the only out queer kids in their grade #now they're the moms of at least 4 cats including both of their childhood kitties #ts4 #ts4 cas #ts4 edit #ts4 portrait #the sims 4

[notabled-noodle]

no reason to worry!!

when I was 13, one of my older sister's friends told me what a binder was, and I was immediately amazed that it was possible to get rid of the tits

secondary part of this story is that when I was around 10? I became chronically anxious about the idea of acquiring breasts, to the point that it was definitely a relief when it happened and they turned out to be micro breasts

#okay last thing before I log off for the day I promise #ask games #queer childhood #I feel bad that like. they're small! but I still want them to fuck off!

[ihhfhonao3]

Bitches be like “just be yourself!” And then get angry when you act like yourself

#tagging a bunch of things that this might apply to #furry #furry fandom #furries #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #autism #autistic #disability #disabled #minority #minorities #children #childhood #therian #otherkin #voidpunk