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httpknjoon · 8 months

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(re)starting over again | kth; 10.5

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 3.5k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | more angst haha I swear rainbows and sunshine are coming soon. icymi, I made a spotify playlist for this series! it gets updated every time I write for mc and taehyung. expect it to be angsty haha! anyways, enjoy reading this one. let me know y'all's thoughts.

main masterlist | series masterlist

“Are you sure about this?”

Gail, your supervisor, looked at you while holding the paper you gave her just minutes ago. Your heart beats heavier and louder as you stood in front of her. Gail was never a terrifying supervisor to you. She was always considerate. But this thing that you’re doing right now is still nail-biting. You came to work early today just so you can talk to her. No one knew about your plan except you.

“Yes,” you replied, unconsciously fiddling with the fabric of your scrub pants.

She stared at you for what felt like a minute. You cannot even read what’s going on in her head. Her eyes wore no emotions and her lips formed a thin line. She moved her sight to the paper again. You felt like you needed to say something.

You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry if it seemed too soon.”

“Oh, it’s fine. We all know two weeks is the minimum time for notices like this.” Finally, her lips broke into a small smile, easing you for a little, as she looks at you again. “May I ask your reason for making this decision?”

You didn’t hesitate on telling your true reason, “I need to take a break and a new environment due to recent circumstances.”

That was two days ago. Gail approved your resignation letter after that exchange and was supportive of your decision. She said you can come to her anytime if you need a recommendation letter for your next employer. Your two-week notice began that same day without anyone– even Jisoo or Julia– knowing. You don’t want to disturb Jisoo because she’s already stressed enough with her wedding.

“You coming home?” Julia asked as you two get your bags on your lockers.

You two just finished your graveyard shift at seven o clock. You just had a twelve-hour shift but you’re still off to somewhere.

You shook your head, “Not yet. I’m taking a train to Incheon.”

Her head tilted in your direction, “What? Why? That’s like an hour's ride from here.”

“I’ll be checking this studio apartment unit I saw online,” you answered like it’s not a big deal.

Her eyes widened almost instantly, “You’re moving?!”

You quietly nod your head to her surprised question. A hint of excitement was also obvious in her tone.

“That’s far! Have you told Jisoo yet?”

“Nope.”

“How about Taehyung? Is he going to travel from there to his shop every day? And the house–”

“I still haven’t talked to him about it.” you cut her off calmly before she can ask anything else.

Julia was quick to understand what you meant. Your lips formed into a small, sad smile after saying that. Julia just waved her hand back when you waved yours as you bid goodbye. She instantly knew that moving to a new place isn’t the only life-changing choice you’re making in your life right now.

It was a couple of days before Jisoo and Namjoon’s special day, exactly three days in your two-week notice. Raindrops just happened to visit every night you have a late night shift. You didn’t notice the weather until you heard the roars of thunder while you were in the shower.

You were busy the whole day in your room. Just cleaning up, feeling like a robot, numbly working so much but eating less. You only had a late breakfast. Taehyung made you buttermilk waffles with fruits, leaving it in a Tupperware on your kitchen counter. You ate and made sure to leave no dishes in the sink. Like a ghost, that’s how you liked to describe your recent presence in your shared home.

You find yourself busy since morning, removing photos in the frames you displayed before and folding some of your clothes from your closet to your luggage. Then, you prepared for your eight-hour shift. Just five minutes past ten in the evening, you walked out of your room ready to go.

“Hey.”

You saw Taehyung sitting on one of the chairs on your kitchen counter. A thin sheet of smoke from the cup on the table showed he was drinking tea.

“Hi.” you greeted him shortly.

The shorter your response is, the smaller the chances of small talk, you thought.

“I packed you some light snacks there. Just some granola and fruits. Also, yogurt.”

You want to feel something. The joy and giddiness you always have when Taehyung does nice things for you, pre and post-accident. Something that will make your day and shifts your mood. But you almost felt nothing now.

“It’s raining hard tonight,” he mumbled, looking outside the small window in your kitchen.

“It is.”

You tried to busy yourself with putting the snacks he prepared in your bag, not even looking up at him. Not until he said,

“Can I walk you to the stop?”

Finally, you looked at him. He cannot assume if you’re surprised based on your expression because your face remained blank. No emotions at all.

He continued, ”I just want to make sure you’ll get to work safely.”

“Okay.” Whatever you say.

“You know, you don’t have to do any of this.” You were just looking ahead as you resumed, “You’re not obligated to do anything with me.”

“I wanted to do this.” He replied.

You knew he was looking in your direction through your peripheral vision. As much as you wanted to believe his sincerity, you don’t want to get your hopes high. He was just being nice. That’s it.

Before you go, he handed you another extra umbrella. No one said a single word. You sat away from the windows, just at the back of the bus. Because you knew damn well that you might feel guilty if you see Taehyung frozen on the same spot, waiting for your bus to leave.

“Wake her up. I’ll take out our stuff.”

Jimin unfastened his seatbelt after parking the car. Taehyung turned his head back to your direction. You have been sleeping throughout the whole night and none of them bothered to wake you up when they had a quick stopover since they knew you came from an overnight shift earlier. He got off his seat, gently closing the passenger door.

“YN….” he softly calls for your name.

It took him two more calls before you hummed and moved on to your seat. Your eyes were still closed as you respond to him, still half-asleep,

“What?”

“We’re here…”

Slowly, your eyes opened. You blink a couple times before rubbing your eyes as you sat back properly. Slightly confused, you looked around. He watched as you slowly get back to your senses and realize that you have arrive at the event venue.

“Oh…” you said under your breath. You ran your hand on your dress to smoothen out the tiny wrinkles. Unexpectedly, you turned to Taehyung, “How do I look? Did my hair–”

“Lovely,” he murmured.

For a moment there, you thought you heard a small beat inside your chest. You stare at each other’s eyes and the first thing you sense was familiarity. Then, longing. Then, abruptly, you looked away. Taehyung wasn’t sure if your eyes began glistening before you blinked away. He was about to ask when Jimin spoke outside the car,

“Is she awake? Let’s go. The rehearsal is starting soon, we still have to get these bags in the hotel.”

Thank God, you found a slight relief. Taehyung moved out of your way to let you get out of the car. Minutes later, you, Taehyung, and Jimin are walking to the entrance of the hotel when someone greeted you.

“Oh, my god. Hi!”

Yoonji, Jisoo’s cousin and also one of the bridesmaids, greeted you on your way into the small hotel meant for guests. He recognized her as one of the girls who brought you home after Jisoo’s bachelorette party. You two hugged for a quick second while she smiled politely at Taehyung and Jimin, who introduced himself.

“You can just go tell the receptionist your names. Then, they will say what’s your room number,” she instructed in a little hurry. “The rehearsal will be starting in a few minutes!”

She was pulled by another woman, who you assume is Jisoo’s other relative. You followed what she said and the receptionist was pleasant when she asked for your names. After that, she handed out two keys.

“Room 23 is for Mr. Park. Room 27 is for Ms. YN and Mr. Kim.” Kath, the said receptionist, said.

Your jaw almost dropped while Taehyung froze. Jimin, who stood between you two, immediately noticed your silent reactions. He took the initiative to ask,

“Uhm… May we request another room?”

Kath shook her head, “I’m sorry, sir. But the Kims were the ones who arranged everyone’s rooms.”

You cleared your throat as your brain began processing again, “But do you guys have other available rooms that we can pay for?”

“We’re currently fully booked, miss. We assume the Kims already booked enough rooms for their relatives and other important guests. So we had our further rooms booked for other visiting guests in town.”

After squeezing your eyes shut while listening to her explanation, you just forced a smile, “Okay, we understand. Thank you.”

Your rooms were on the upper floor and there were only stairs. Taehyung offered to carry your small luggage for you but you declined. Both men could not tell if you were pissed as you kept a straight face until you and Taehyung stood in front of the twenty-seventh room. He unlocked the door for you two.

“Hm.”

You unconsciously let out a heavy sigh as you and Taehyung scanned the whole room with your eyes. The room was not that… spacious. But it has what a guest needs. A king-sized bed, closet, own bathroom, a table and a chair, and flat-screen television mounted on the wall for entertainment. Plus, a big window with big curtains.

“You know, maybe I can just go to Jimin’s,” Taehyung, who’s standing behind you, suggested.

But you looked at him, “Do you want to?”

“What?” he blinked, maybe he misheard it.

“Do you want to go there? I mean, this is a king-sized bed. I’m fine sharing it, less hassle. We can put a divider or something.” you recommended, pointing to the bed.

“Are you okay with that?”

You nod, “Yeah. Are you?”

“Okay.” Taehyungs nods too.

“Okay,” you whispered.

It was silent again after that. The atmosphere was weird and maybe suffocating. You are starting to hate this kind of air every time you’re with him. It’s encouraging the decisions you’ve been thinking about lately. Breaking the ice, you looked up at him.

“Uhm, we should go. The rehearsal’s starting soon.”

“Thank you for helping make tomorrow the perfect day for us.”

The wedding rehearsals earlier were quick as it was not that complicated. Everyone was later invited to the rehearsal dinner. Your seats were pre-arranged. So of course, you two sat next to each other.

Jisoo was in the middle of her dinner toast when Taehyung took a glance at you. Your sights were focused on the couple who stood in the middle of the event. Your lips formed into a relieved smile as your eyes brighten.

"Tonight, we appreciate you, the people we treasure the most. We toast to having the best wedding team ever!"

Everyone raised their glasses of wine and champagne and took a sip from their drinks. Then, everyone began talking to someone while enjoying the rest of the dinner. Everyone around you and Taehyung is having fun conversations. Even Jimin, who is now talking to some guests. After stealing another glance in your direction, he thought of making a conversation with you.

“I’ve never seen Namjoon that happy,” he mumbled as he looked at his friend.

Unexpectedly, you responded, looking at the couple, “So is Jisoo. Look at their smiles.”

“How did they meet?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s a really good meet-cute.” you chuckled, shoulders visibly relaxing.

Then, you began talking about the beginning of your friends’ love story. You were proud as you shared that you were present when they first met. And after days of getting blank stares and rejections from you, Taehyung can see a genuine smile on your face again. He can listen to more of your stories if that is what it takes for you two to be okay again.

The conversation plays out until you and Taehyung decided to get out of the event since guests began going too. From Jisoo and Namjoon’s meet-cute, the topic jumped to how you had a couple of double dates with them. You were enjoying telling stories that you almost forgot about that gloomy feeling you’d been having in you for days now until Taehyung asked another question while you two stroll your way back to your shared room.

“Maybe we could do that again with them?”

You turned your head at him, raising an eyebrow, “What?”

“Double dates. It seemed like we had fun with them,” he replied, hands in his pockets as he smiled softly.

Then, once again, these heavyweights slowly landed on your shoulders and you can feel something breaking inside of you, making you clutch your palm on the skirt of your dress. Taehyung quicking took notice of you pausing and looking at him with lips slightly parted and the joy in your eyes faded, worrying him.

“Hey? You okay?” he asked gently, looking at you.

With that, you snapped out of your trance and nods, “Yeah, sorry.”

God! Get ahold of yourself. You remind yourself. You remembered your things packed back at home and the resignation you signed days ago. You already had a plan and this sudden idea from Taehyung should not change any of it. Unconsciously, you let out a sigh. Taehyung’s heart beats faster.

“Did I say anything wrong?

“Oh, no.” you forced a smile as you took steps with him to the stairs. You let out an awkward chuckle, “I just don’t think we can do double dates anytime soon.”

“Ah, yeah.” he went along.

And it’s silent all over again. But this time, there was this air between you two. You both can feel that someone wants to say something to another. But, both of you two can’t. With every step closer to your room, the air gets thinner and thinner. And when you stood outside your door,

It shattered.

“Can we talk?”

“Can I talk to you?”

Both you and Taehyung said at the same time. You two were staring at each other when you said that. And when you two realized what happened, you looked away with an airy chuckle. You opened the door and he followed inside.

“So… are we going to talk here or outside?” Taehyung spoke when he saw you opening the curtains, letting the fresh air get into the room.

“Uhm, here’s fine,” you replied before inhaling again on the small balcony.

The original plan was to let Taehyung know about your plans after this event. But you just can’t keep it anymore. Especially after you reacted with Taehyung offering ideas like double date again. Taehyung wanted to wait too and he was willing. But he felt he needed to say what he wants now. It might help your relationship at the moment.

“Okay,” you whispered.

You sat on the soft mattress of the bed. Taehyung took a seat on the chair next to the table, just a few feet away from you. He watched as you bit your lip, looking down. You fiddled with your fingers and he can see your chest heave. You were visibly nervous and it makes him wonder what are going to say.

“YN–”

“Can–”

He nods at you to continue and you did, “I was just going to ask if I can go first.”

“Sure,” he answered, leaning back in the chair.

“Okay. Thank you,” you said every word with the heaviest sigh since you find your heart pounding like crazy just now.

With all the will in your body, you focused your sight on the man in front of you. His hair was pushed back and the first two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. His eyes gaze back at yours, you wished you can just communicate with him through this since it might be easier. But you can’t. And within seconds, you can feel the tears at the edge of your blurring sight.

“Taehyung…I… Uhm…” you stuttered when you see a flicker of concern in his eyes. But you continued, “I’m leaving.”

He just stared after you said that. Then, you read the confusion on his face, “What?”

You gulped, “I’m leaving this… arrangement … or whatever this is called. Us. I’m leaving us.”

Your hands shake while waiting for a reaction from him when you said that. But you cannot read his face anymore so you went on.

“I’m moving out of the house. I already looked for an apartment. I know, the house is our shared property. We can talk about the whole splitting thing when I–”

“Are we breaking up?” Taehyung finally said something. His eyebrows were scrunched and his eyes were surprised. But his tone was in between shock and sadness. And maybe mad. You cannot tell.

“Is there even any relationship to break?”

That was the first thing that came into your mind and you barely thought about it as you said it. You matched his tone. Now, it feels like you two were overwhelmed with emotions and the silence that followed after your question helped to at least make you calm a little.

Taehyung, on the other hand, is not off his peak of emotions. But he was quiet. He doesn’t know what to feel. He cannot tell what he’s been feeling. Even after what happened these past few days, he didn’t expect to hear this from you.

“You don’t know me, Taehyung. I’m basically a stranger to you and I’m more than grateful to you for at least letting me take care of you after the accident. But it’s not your obligation to be with me just because I was your girlfriend. The last thing that I want is to force you to stay committed–”

You were ready to end the conversation just like that. But Taehyung cut you off,

“What if I want to? What if I want to be with you now?”

“What?”

You didn’t sound happy. Because you’re not. Taehyung sensed it, you felt quite the opposite when he said that. Still, you stumbled with words.

“Wh– No! N-No, you don’t.”

“I do,” he said like you were challenging him to say it.

You remained unhappy and let out a firm, “No.”

“I do. Why do you keep–”

“Because that would just make me feel shit! You only want me now because you learned what happened between you and Lily!”

Taehyung’s mouth immediately ran dry. For the first time ever since the accident, you raised your voice at him. It’s like watching a volcano explode. Warm drops of tears flow down your cheeks. Your lips were quivering as you continued. Your shoulder shakes as you continued,

“You can’t just choose me like that! That’s fucking unfair! I– I’ve been feeling nothing but awful and lonely for the longest time. I can’t even sleep without having a nightmare about that night! And now that I’m trying to do something for myself, you’re telling me you want to be with me? Right after talking to your ex behind my back? The ex that you originally remembered as your girlfriend? Taehyung, that’s just so fucking unfair.”

You remained seated on the bed but your hand was clutching on the sheet under you. Your voice became weaker as you reached the last sentence. Wiping your tears, you cleared your throat,

“If you want me now, that would make me feel like someone you just kept around as a second choice. You know?”

Hearing that, Taehyung instinctively shakes his head, “No, it’s not like that–”

“But that’s how I feel right now,” you confessed in a sad whisper. “And I’m scared that the longer I try to keep this relationship, the higher the chance I’ll lose myself in the process.”

That was another confession. After countless talks and reflection with yourself and your close friends, you knew that sooner or later you have to go for your own. It just took you long to accept it and take a step. You were hopeful then.

It took some minutes for someone to say something again. There was like a big question in the room with you, asking, what’s next. Taehyung who remained speechless in the same chair, just watched you quietly. While you got up from the bed and reached for your phone and room keys.

“Five years was a lot to be missed and forgotten, Taehyung. I just think that if we go on our separate ways, you can focus on exploring what you lost without the pressure of being committed to me. And I can try to focus on myself again.”

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#bts angst #bts x reader #bts series #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #taehyung au #taehyung series #bts amnesia #taehyung amnesia #bts established relationship au #taehyung established relationship #restarting over again kth

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son-of-a-top-gun · 3 months

Text

Sky's The Limit Part 3

we're back baby and things are getting spicy (ish)

Warnings: alcohol consumption, mention of strippers/lapdancing, two horny people who desperately need to get off, shameless flirting, Bradley being a babe as usual, continuation of the bob fucks agenda

Sky's The Limit Part 3

Bradley could tell you were starting to get a little down. As one of the only people who actually knew about the book, he was also one of the only people you can tell about how it was really going. You had been giving hints that it was not going well, but after he catches you lying face down in one of the Hard Deck boothes, he decides that’s enough. It was time for you to have a bit of fun, even just for one night.

“Bradley, it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“I know.” He keeps staring ahead, hands still on the wheel. He had offered to give you a lift to his house, where you were supposed to be having a few ‘casual drinks’. You took one look of the bag of balloons and had known exactly what that meant.

“You don’t have to throw me a stupid party.”

“But this isn’t just any party, baby girl. This is a Bradshaw party, which only get offered to the creme de la creme. Besides, you haven’t even been given a proper welcome to San Diego. There’s no way you can stay here one more day without an official welcome.”

You smile at him. Bradley truly was one of the best friends a girl could wish for. Losing his parents only meant he loved people harder and you loved that about him. You couldn’t have imagined anyone more perfect for your sister, you just wanted them to hurry up and realise they were in love with each other so he could legally become part of the family.

“Ugh fine, But you best make -

“Those biscuits you like. Honestly what do you take me for Ladybug? I’ve already got the ingredients in the back.”

You turn around. Of course he did.

******

Of course the party is perfect. Bradley had cued all your favourite songs, supplied all your favourite snacks (as well as some supposed San Diego delicacies) and invited all your new pilot friends, who you had really become quite fond of. They’d all been extra nice to you lately, which made you wonder what sort of desperate vibes you were giving off. Even Jake had been less annoying the last week, perhaps sensing your stress, making less sassy comments, leaving you well alone when you were trying to write and even occasionally letting you rant about the inaccessibility of online archives. The most surprising thing was that your favourite coffee had been turning up at the Hard Deck every morning before you arrived with a little ladybug drawn on it, along with anonymous notes that had literary motivational quotes on it. You had initially attributed it to Bradley, but he denied it and no one else at the party would fess up either.

The party is in full swing, and you are a couple of drinks in, starting to feel relaxed for the first time in weeks. You were listening to Phoenix tell everyone about her new girlfriend, which was nauseatingly adorable. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt like that about someone. The last guy you went on a date with tried to give you his manuscript to read over the minute you said you were a writer, and after that you swore off casual dating. Which was lucky, because it seemed all the men here were Navy men, which you had sworn off a long time ago.

Without thinking, you find yourself scanning the room.

Everyone is here, except one particular blonde pilot. You don’t know why you are looking for him. It was just wherever the pilots were, so was he. You had to admit, It was sort of odd for him not to be there. You find yourself wondering if he finally got that hot date he seemed to be begging for. From what the other pilots told you, Jake had always been a massive flirt and had been known to get around most of the women of San Diego. You hated that you were thinking about this so much and took another hefty swig of your drink.

“Hope you didn’t miss me, darlin’.” A familiar voice leans into your ear.

You almost leap out of your skin. “Jesus Christ, Bagman you can’t sneak up on people like that! You nearly scared the pants off me.” He looks down on you with that annoying smile of his and you suddenly feel very cold in your little strappy vest top.

He leans down. “Trust me, don’t need to scare you to get you out of your pants sweetheart.”

You roll your eyes at him and are about to come back with a witty retort when you see out of the corner of your eye Bradley brandishing an empty bottle. He claps his hands and everyone turns around.

“I think it’s time for a game guys.”

“Really Bradley?” You raise an eyebrow. “Spin the bottle?”

“What, are you scared?” Jake immediately chimes in. You shoot him daggers.

“Only of having to touch you.” You smile sweetly at him as he mimes an arrow going through his chest.

“Can it lovebirds!” Bradley announces, rubbing his hands with glee, “We’re not so basic to play Spin the bottle.” Bradley looks at you and grins. You know this means trouble. “It’s time to play Truth or Dare!”

There is a chorus of cheers across the room.

“Bradley, you are in your thirties.” You tut under your breath, but he ignores it.

He spins the bottle first. It lands on Fanboy first, who chooses truth.

“Which superhero would you bang?” Bradley asks

“It’s got to be Catwoman right?” Jake is indignant.

Fanboy takes a moment to really think it through, “I dunno, I like to think about what Wonder Woman could do. The lasso could come in handy. What about you guys?”

“I like Batgirl.” Bob offers.

Coyote suggests “Mystique, you know, for roleplaying. It’s basically like having infinite wishes. Also love me a bad girl.” Payback sagely nods.

“How much have you guys all been thinking about this?” You turn to Natasha, who shrugs.

“Jean Grey does it for me.” This made sense, having seen the pictures of her new ginger girlfriend.

They spin the bottle again, this time landing on Bob. He says Truth and you can see Jake already brewing the question, so you jump in.

“How many hookups have you had in the last year?”

“That’s not fair, I was going to ask!”

“Quit your whining.” You turn to Bob, whose cheeks have tinged pink. “Go on.”

“Oh, er, I don’t know, maybe” He starts counting in his head. “Twenty, twenty-five” He looks up. “Are we counting repeat incidents?”

“As in you had sex with them more than once?”

“Uh, yes, I guess.”

“Sure.”

“Because that would bring it up to sixty, seventy- “ You watch as everyone’s jaws go slack.

“Are you joking?” Jake is stunned. Bradley turns his head. “How?”

“I don’t know, I just like helping people, and I tend to run into women who need help with their coffee, or taking things to their car, or need something tall fixing around the house…” As Bob rambles, it’s cute to see how unaware he is. You lock eyes with Jake, raising your eyebrows to say I told you. Bob fucks.

Third time around, the bottle lands on you.

“Truth.”

“Oh come on, not everyone can say truth or we are all going to die of boredom.” Jake folds his arms.

“Firstly, I don’t think Bob’s truth was boring at all. In fact I found it very interesting.” You say, throwing a wink to Bob. “But fine, have it your way. Dare.”

This time, Reuben, who has been very quiet, pops up.

“You have to give Jake a lapdance.”

“What the hell Javy? I thought we were friends.” He shrugs.

“Just for one minute.

“No way.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” Jake sits back.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Bagman?” There is a chorus of oos from around the room.

“Nothing, it means nothing!”

“I get it that I’m not your usual type Seresin, but you think you wouldn’t enjoy it?”

“No, just… I mean you seem like the sort who would hate strip clubs.”

You go to speak but bite your tongue.

What Jake didn’t know was that for your last book you had a whole plot involving strippers which meant you spent several days with dancers researching their life. One of them, Brandy, became one of your best friends in New York and had given you many a lesson in lapdancing (to make your writing accurate, of course). But you figured this was a fact best left unsaid. Besides, this was a rare chance to get Jake to eat some humble pie.

“Yeah…But a dare is a dare. Javy…put on Pony.”

You were grateful that the hot weather had meant you had put on a vest and a fairly cute pair of daisy dukes. If you had been wearing a dress there was no way this would be happening. You make a show of stretching while they set the room up, Jake sat on a chair on the middle. You wink at him as you bend over and you see him flush just a little.

Javy gives the signal for the music. You are kneeling on the floor in front of Jake,.

“Hope you’re ready to have your world rocked Bagman. Bradley, look away.”

“Yes ma’am.” Bradley, seeing you as his honorary younger sister, did what he was told. “You took a deep breath and then a large swig of whisky.

You sat on your knees and let your hair down, slowing rolling your neck as the music starts to play. You try to ignore the hand shaking and slowly look up towards Jake. You expected him to be smug but he’s looking at you with such a look of confusion and pity that you suddenly realise. He genuinely doesn’t think you can do it. You are suddenly filled with a devilish combination of spite and rage and power. You close your eyes, slowly rolling your body and feeling all the way up yourself, grinding up on some imaginary guy until you flash your eyes open and send him one cautionary wink before slowly licking your fingers.

You crawl towards Jake and push his knees apart, slowly rising up between them. It’s a good thing he’s wearing shorts right now, his thighs exposed, so you can feel how his skin burns under yours. The look of pity has turned into something else, both fear and astonishment and something darker, but you have no time for this. Your nails dig slightly into his flesh as you rise up slowly between his legs until you are eye to eye. You slowly wrap your legs to the outside of his thighs and slowly start grinding down on his crotch until.

Oh.

At least Jake’s arrogance was starting to make sense if all of what you were feeling was true. With this realisation you look up and lock eyes. Jake’s look burns through you like he could devour you whole and you feel him grip onto your thigh, just a little squeeze, and then you suddenly have a terrible physical urge between your legs, when the music suddenly stops.

“That’s one minute!” Reuben calls out. For a moment, neither of the two of you move.

“Guys? You can get off each other you know?” Phoenix interjects. You both leap away from each other. “Although I should say that was phenomenal.” You croak out a thanks before heading to the kitchen.

What the hell was that? You wonder as you pour yourself a glass of water. I guess it really had been a while. Your heart is racing and you steady yourself against the counter, closing your eyes.

“What the hell are they teaching you on that pHD of yours?” Your eyes open to see Jake standing in the door with his arm leaning against the frame. He must know how his arm looks when he does that. You hate how much you like it.

You take a moment and reassume your confidence, laughing a little. “Oh that? Just a little something I picked up back in New York.”

He walks towards you until he’s right next to you on the counter before leaning in. You can feel his hot breath in your ear. “I knew there was something fishy about this pHD stuff. And now I know.” Your breath hitches. Surely there was no way he could have figured it out, could he? Your lapdance scene wasn’t that similar in the book. He looks away from you. “I thought you reminded me of someone and now I know it’s JLo in Hustlers.” He looks over you with a slightly more sincere look. “So are you..you know?” He waves his hand. You can’t believe that out of all the things, the subject of strippers would make Jake Seresin awkward.

“And what if I was?”

But much to your surprise, Jake shrugs. “Everyone has to pay their bills somehow.” He turns back towards you. “It’s just if you’re not, I think you should seriously consider it. I think you would earn a lot of money.”

“Would you come to my club then?” The alcohol is making you overconfident, so you gently stroke your index finger down his chest.

“Baby.” He now leans his arm on the kitchen cabinet behind you. His face is so close, just above you. You could smell his cologne again and you find yourself wishing you could lick it off his neck. “I would be there every damn day.” You felt a flutter in your stomach. This was dangerous territory, but it was too late. What would it be like to kiss Jake Seresin, you wondered, leaning forward just a little -

“There you are Ladybug!” Bradley’s voice booms and the two of you pull apart once again. “Hangman, I hope you’re not trying to get seconds.”

The two of you return to the party. You don’t see Hangman for the rest of the party except once where you catch eyes across you the room. You smile at him and he smiles back, before you are pulled back into conversation. When you go to find him again, he is gone. Weird that he left without saying goodbye.

When you finally get home and get to bed, you find yourself instinctively reaching your hand between your legs when it happens. Who flashes into your head but a certain blond, handsome and potentially well-hung pilot.

You were fucked.

---

hope you all enjoyed! Let me know if you want to be tagged in part four!

Tagged:

@dizzybee03 @mrsroosterbradshaw @tgmreader @dgs8891 @alldaysdreamer @eloquentdreamer @ravenwtfbro @dempy @milkbummm @memoriesat30 @yourfavouritecitizen @burningwitchprincess @il0vebeingdelulu

#jake seresin x y/n #romance #fanfic #hangman top gun #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #top gun maverick #bob fucks #bradley bradshaw #top gun fanfiction #bob floyd

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carriesthewind · 2 years

Text

Hello tumblr! I am here to discuss some drama today! (Oh dear god I can't believe that this is what got me to finally join tumblr.)

As you may know, AO3 recently suspended a writer’s account, and the writer isn’t happy about it. They have made several public posts about it, including a very long post responding to the letter they received from AO3 in response to their appeal to lift the suspension. Now, I’m not particularly familiar with this writer. I’ve heard their name enough to recognize it, I know I have heard some rumors about them – some good, some bad. But I have never read their writing or their tumblr before, and I didn’t have any preconceived opinions about them.

But since this drama has entered my orbit from multiple sources, I decided to do a close read of their post responding to AO3. I do this fairly regularly, as a mental exercise to practice making myself a more careful consumer of media in general, social media in particular. But close-reading this particular post made me angry enough that felt the need to write up my analysis and share it.

A few disclaimers and notes before we begin:

First, I am just going to refer to the person under discussion as the “writer” – I include this person’s user name in a screenshot, so am not hiding their identity, but I’m not doing this to target them. This is an analysis of two of their posts, not of their life or online activity outside of the post.

Second, I am going to be giving the writer every benefit of the doubt I can, and am starting my reading by assuming they are acting in good faith.

Third, I am going to take the text under discussion under its own terms as much as possible, without referring to outside content. I am going to be analyzing two posts by the writer; the long post they made in response to AO3’s reply, and a shorter post that they made that long post in reply to. The exceptions to this will be the TOS of AO3, since they are central to the dispute, and a few other posts by the writer on the same subject. I will be using those other posts only when I need them to understand the writer’s argument in the main post we are looking at.

Let’s begin.

There’s two things that jump out at me from this paragraph right away. First, if we look at AO3’s TOS, there is a clear path for filing an appeal, and there is no right to a response from being pinged on Tumblr or responding to messages through other venues. There is also no deadline for the team to respond to an appeal. In fact, the TOS repeatedly note that they cannot guarantee a speedy response. Given the size of the archive, five days seems far from unreasonable.

However, this waiting period would absolutely be frustrating, and it is entirely understandable that the writer would be frustrated and angry. Speaking personally, I know that I have angrily tried to contact a company via non-official means when I felt they had wronged me and were refusing to respond to my official messages. The writer isn’t doing anything wrong here by reaching out this way and being upset at the delay – but AO3 isn’t doing anything wrong by not replying to these messages, either.

Second, this sentence, “My legally copyrighted property under the terms of Fair Use is still in kidnapped status, which is not actually legal”? This sentence is nonsense. It is so nonsense that whenever I look away my brain rewrites it. It is so nonsense I am not going to even try to break down the very many ways it is wrong, because that would double the length of this monster of a post. I will instead just state: by agreeing to AO3's TOS, the writer has agreed to allow their account to be suspended under the TOS, and the writer’s work still belongs to the writer and can be removed (more on that later) and reposted (or not removed and reposted) anywhere else.

The important things about this sentence for our close reading are as follows: 1) the writer is using a bunch of legal jargon in a way that is irrelevant and inaccurate (the alternative, which is worse, is they are lying and they know it); 2) as a corollary, the writer is talking confidently and forcefully about the situation in ways that do not accurately describe the situation (either out of ignorance, confusion, or a deliberate desire to mislead); and 3) the writer is using charged and exaggerating language to describe the situation.

Number 1 will be important shortly; for now, just keep it in mind.

Number 2 doesn’t necessarily imply bad faith; as noted, they could be talking out of ignorance or misspeaking, or some combination of both, due to the emotionally charged situation. Even though they haven’t lost their content (because they haven’t), people’s writing is very important to them; it is understandable that someone who has lost some control over the distribution of their writing would feel upset! (Please note that this is true regardless of whether the suspension was appropriate, justified, or correct - punishments hurt, by definition!) Rather, it is important because it makes clear that even if the writer has best of intentions, the way they are writing about this situation is not entirely accurate. It is entirely possible that this is the only thing about their situation that they will be wrong about - especially since legal rights and issues are extremely complicated and most people struggle to fully understand them. However, it is still an early indication to keep our eye on, moving forward. (It is also worth noting that this kind of legal misrepresentation is extremely commonly used by people who are NOT acting in good faith. This alone is not enough to assume bad faith - again, legal issues are complicated - but it is something to keep an eye on when reading posts like this.)

Number 3 is referring mostly to the use of “kidnapped” to describe the status of their works. This is not remotely accurate, for reasons which I will dive into more later. It is, however, highly emotionally charged language that indicates a couple of possibilities, any or all of which may be present. First, it could indicate, like the last point, a writer who is (again, understandably!) upset and is expressing how the situation FEELS to them, even if that feeling doesn’t match reality. Secondly, it could be the writer trying to using metaphorical language to get the reader to understand how serious the situation feels to them. Third, it could indicate a desire (conscious or unconscious) to appeal to the reader’s emotions over their logic, so they will be more likely to go along with the writer’s characterization of the situation.

The overall impression from where we are starting is this: we have a writer who is (again, understandably) extremely upset at a suspension that may or may not be justified and appropriate - so far we have no evidence either way. We have likewise no evidence that either party is acting inappropriately. However, we do have indications that the writer appears to either not correctly understand, or is (accidentally or on purpose), mischaracterizing at least some elements of the situation.

So, let’s move on to the long post.

We start with the knowledge that we do not have AO3’s whole response; there are sections that are left out that may or may not be relevant. This isn’t necessarily bad or wrong - there may be lots of good reasons not to include the full text. However, it is worth keeping in mind when we are assessing the situation.

More important is the description of AO3’s letter as, “full of fun jargon.” We will review the provided text ourselves, but AO3 generally does an admirable job trying to use as little jargon and legalese as reasonable possible, and I would include the provided text of the response in that assessment. Still, given that is a formal response to a TOS violation appeal, it does use a lot of formal language and some legal language.

However, this is an interesting complaint for the writer to make, given Number 1 above (I promised we would come back to that!). It’s a sharp contrast for the writer to use lot of legal jargon to complain about AO3 and then turn around and promptly complain about AO3 using jargon. Again, this isn’t necessarily a sign of bad faith. It is entirely possible that the writer, as described above, is confused and upset and using language they think they understand (but don’t) to express their feelings, and since they don’t understand legal language, they see the AO3 response as including a lot of jargon. However, using charged legalistic language themselves while characterizing their opponent as using “jargon” is another flag to keep an eye on. Again, in the best case scenario, this is someone who is clearly quite (reasonably!) emotional and whose characterization of at least some aspects of the situation is questionable.

This response by the writer is….confusing?

The writer seems to be arguing that punishing them for failing to comply with the TOS makes them unable to comply with the TOS right away so therefore…people shouldn’t ever be suspended for commercial content violations? I don’t think this is what the writer is arguing, because it’s not reasonable (and in some of their posts, they make it clear that they don’t believe that), but I can’t make any other sense of this paragraph.

According to their TOS, if AO3 finds a sufficiently serious violation, it can hide or delete violating content. But based on the previous “kidnapped” comments, the writer would presumable be upset (is upset?) if the works were altered or removed from public view by AO3 unless they specifically asked them to. So I’m not sure what the writer would want AO3 to do in response to a commercial content-based TOS violation.

This first quoted paragraph is being positioned by the writer as indicating some problem with AO3’s process, either in general or in this specific case, but so far, there is no actual evidence of that.

I also want to note here – this paragraph seems to be confirming that the TOS violations were valid, and the writer is just disputing their seriousness, not their existence. But to be fair, I checked some of their other posts on the topic to confirm this reading. Although they dispute the interpretations of some of the reported violations as incorrect, they do admit that at least one of the reported violations was accurate.

We are not provided this mitigating information, but the writer will include some arguments later that would seem to be the mitigating evidence, and I will address it then. I will note here - it is very common for an aggrieved party to say that a system that punished them ignored evidence they presented. While sometimes this is true, often the system reviews the evidence they present, and decides not to rule in their favor anyway. Here, for example, we see that AO3’s response notes that the suspension will not be lifted unless the writer furnishes mitigating information “that would have changed our initial determination.” So AO3 might have ignored the mitigating information, or they might have reviewed it and determined it would not have changed their decision (e.g.: they already knew about it, it wasn’t determined credible, it wasn’t determined relevant, etc.). Also note that we, seeing the mitigating information, could think that AO3 was incorrect if they reviewed the proffered mitigating info and did not rescind the suspension, but that is not the same as AO3 ignoring it. We, as readers of the post, don’t know which of these options occurred - and neither does the writer. While it is understandable that the poster is not giving AO3 the same kind of good faith that we are trying to give them (aggrieved parties don’t have to assign good faith to people they believe have wronged them!), it once again colors our understanding of how the writer is characterizing AO3’s response.

This starts with an interesting claim! That is, that AO3 acknowledged in the letter that the writer has “a history of immediately complying.” This isn’t in the excerpt of the letter that we have. Because this claim is immediately below the above excerpt from AO3's letter, it appears that the writer is misconstruing the statement, “While we appreciate your willingness to remove the violating content immediately, you must first serve your suspension to its completion before you are able to edit your works.” This sentence isn’t claiming the writer has a history of complying, it is clearly responding to the writer’s stated willingness *in this case* to edit their content to comply. If the writer is deliberately misconstruing the letter this way, that’s deeply troubling, because it shows they are both trying to make AO3 look bad (see the rest of the paragraph) and twisting their own bad behavior (note that they here acknowledge past instances of breaking the TOS) in a way that makes them look good, actually (“assist[ing] the Archive in keeping things to their TOS standard”). This is really, really, bad behavior if it is deliberate. It would be a deliberate lie to preempt their audience’s recognition of their misdeeds and frame themself as a victim of a malicious actor.

HOWEVER. That is not the only interpretation of this claim. The writer is not necessarily deliberately misconstruing the letter - again, they are reasonably upset at the situation, they’ve stated they have found the letter to be full of jargon (and thus potentially may be struggling to parse some of it), and it is possible they are responding quickly without carefully reading the letter. Alternatively, they have stated that they are only posting certain sections of the letter - it is entirely possible that AO3 acknowledges “a history of immediately complying” somewhere else in the letter. Now, even in that case, the writer is clearly attempting to reframe evidence of their past violations as evidence of their victimhood (promptly removing TOS violating content is the bare minimum of what should be expected by an AO3 user). Again, that may be a genuine (and natural!) emotional reaction, but we continue to see the thread that the writer’s characterization of (now multiple) aspects of the situation are both inaccurate and biased to see themselves as victimized.

Which leads us to the poster’s response to the next excerpt.

Here the writer acknowledges again that they have at least one previous TOS violation. They include an except from AO3’s letter that clearly shows that they were explicitly told that failing to remove commercial promotion material from their account might result in a temporary suspension. Noticeably, although they have and will continue to frame themselves as the victim of an unfair process: 1) they do not dispute they were previously in violation of the policy, and were let off with just a warning. 2) They do not dispute that since that warning, they continued to have commercial promotion material on their account. 3) They do not dispute the content of the warning. 4) They do not dispute that they received or understood this warning.

Instead, the poster disputes that the warning…wasn’t official enough? They do not indicate how or what AO3 should have done to make it “official” - likely because it is extremely clear that this was a previous warning, and spelling out an alternative would make the absurdity of this complaint clear. It is at this point that we can no longer proceed assuming that the poster is writing solely in good faith. While we cannot assume they are deliberately trying to mislead their audience or that they do not have legitimate complaints, they are at least deeply in denial and stuck in a victimization perspective and that must inform our reading of their post.

Their second complaint with this section is just as ridiculous and telling as their first. AO3’s abuse policy is NOT a 3 strikes policy, as it is explicitly designed for flexibility, so that an account may be let off with multiple warnings, or may be suspended at the first violation, depending on the assessed severity of the violation. Nothing in the quoted section of the letter contradicts this flexibility. In fact, it directly supports the existence of this flexibility, by writing that further TOS violations “might,” not “will,” trigger a suspension. The writer is just wrong, and we can see they are wrong by simply reading the text they are replying to. This can only be read as either a deliberate mischaracterization of both the letter and the TOS, or as someone so far in denial that their characterization of the situation cannot be relied upon and no information they give can be fully trusted without external supporting evidence.

(As a note on my own biases in writing this analysis: this is where I personally ran out of patience with the writer, although I have tried to maintain a more even tone in this analysis.)

The writer may still have legitimate critiques of AO3’s actions and response (for example, they can still argue that such a flexible system is bad in general, or that there were mitigating circumstances that should have caused the suspension to be lifted/not imposed in their particular case), but they are not, in this section at least, making such a legitimate argument.

Their critique of the non time-limited nature of AO3’s response to TOS violations also indicates a fundamental misunderstanding (whether genuine or deliberate) of the *problem* of a TOS violation, especially of a commercial promotion TOS violation. AO3 is an *archive* - it explicitly exists to preserve fan works and provide access to them. It doesn’t matter, from AO3’s perspective, when a commercial promotion is first posted - it matters that it is currently accessible. A commercial promotion violation does not occur solely when a user posts it - it is an ongoing violation that continues to occur for as long as the promotion remains accessible. Furthermore, the structure of AO3 is such that it relies on individual users to maintain their works in compliance with the TOS. We can imagine an archive that works differently. This hypothetical archive could have works reviewed by archive staff before being accepted into entry in the archive, would not allow works to be modified except with the approval of staff, and would allow works to be modified by staff without the users’ knowledge or consent. However, 1) this is not the TOS the writer agreed to when they posted their works on AO3 and 2) given this writer’s expressed desire for control over their own work in this very post, this would not be an archive the writer would want to use.

People can still have legitimate disagreements about whether and how the date that a violation was originally posted on should affect sanctions for that violation, and disagreements over whether the sanctions were appropriately applied in any particular case. It isn't a problem for the author to assert that they think AO3's policy should be different. It is a problem for them to mischaracterize what the policy is and mislead their audience about why a policy exists.

Once again, AO3 is describing a policy that is entirely reasonable. However, in this section the writer finally moves on to the potentially legitimate claim that the policy is being enforced in a draconian way. They advance two arguments to support this claim.

This is actually one of their better responses, because their arguments, while very hostile, are potentially legitimate complaints that support their claim of draconian enforcement in their case! (Please note I am not asserting their complaints are accurate, however - more on that in a moment.)

The first claim is that an official AO3 staff member previously checked every one of their existing fics to try to ensure that they did not violate AO3’s TOS. The writer relied on this assurance going forward, so should not be sanctioned with a suspension. This is a part of the post that, in the interests of good faith, I will discuss with the added context of another post by this writer, since the claim isn't fully or clearly expressed in the above post, and it is their best argument in favor of their mistreatment. I am also going to assume that this was the mitigation that they referred to submitting to AO3 and claim was ignored.

If the poster is characterizing this previous interaction correctly, they have legitimate reasons to be upset, and I would agree with them that this is the sort of mitigating evidence I would expect would cause a suspension to be lifted if I was the person making decisions.

…here’s the problem, though. While I would agree with them that this would be a draconian application of AO3’s polices…it wouldn’t be a violation of AO3’s stated policies in any way. If the AO3 abuse staff member made assurances that to the writer that all their posted content was clear of TOS violations, that would be counter to AO3's TOS, which makes it clear that it does not do pre-emptive reviews. It would be legitimately frustrating for this writer to find out that the promise it relied on was incorrect and be punished after relying on it. However, it is impossible for me not to see that from AO3’s perspective, if this staff member really did give this assurance, it means that the writer was given an assurance of preferential treatment over other users. There is a good argument that to continue to give them preferential treatment (that is, to rescind the suspension based on the preferential treatment) would only compound the harm. It’s a legitimately tough situation for both parties to be in. I ultimately continue to see no misconduct on the part of AO3, except potentially in allowing an official staff member to give misleading preferential treatment (I say potentially because we have no further information about what actions AO3 took to correct this harm/punish the staff member), and also understand why the writer is reasonably furious at the archive.

…or rather, that would be the problem, if we could continue to read this post solely in good faith. Unfortunately, by the time we reach this explanation, as stated above, we know that the writer is either deliberately lying in this post, or deeply in denial leading to them mischaracterization the situation. Because of what we have already seen, we cannot take their description of the alleged staff member or their actions as accurate without at least some external supporting evidence.

We are given no such evidence, either in this post or in any of the others I have reviewed. Rather, the provided evidence contradicts it, albeit subtly. Remember that we noted how the poster did not dispute the content of the August 2019 warning AO3 sent them? That warning clearly stated that failing to remove all commercial promotion from their account might result in a suspension. That warning, from AO3 (not a single independent staff member), along with the clear TOS statement that it does not do preemptive reviews, puts the responsibility for removing the violating content squarely on the writer. If that warning wasn’t “official” enough for them to take it seriously…why were they willing to rely on the word of a single person who was breaking AO3 official policy by purporting to prescreen content?

While I lost my patience at the previous paragraph, as noted above, this response is why I actually decided to write and post this analysis. Casually reading this post, the writer’s description of events here sound deeply sympathetic and would lead a casual reader to see them a victim and AO3 as a villain. It is natural (and a good instinct!) to trust people when they tell you they are being mistreated. Unfortunately, sometimes people who feel that they have been mistreated are just seeing the consequences of their own actions catch up to them.

The second potential legitimate complaint is the implied assertion that their violation was not really serious, and should not really be considered a TOS violation (“figurative, imaginative caffeine.”) Unfortunately, the writer has already admitted repeatedly, both in this post and outside of it, that they were in violation of the TOS. Thus, instead of this being a legitimate complaint, it is another indication that the poster is inappropriately mischaracterizing themself to their audience as a maligned victim and AO3 as a villain.

Oh hey, AO3’s letter is reiterating everything I just explained about prescreening! I wonder how the poster will respond.

I’m trying not to be too snarky here, but that is a really damming failure to respond.

So instead of talking about the substantive issue at hand, let’s address this wild change of subject, I guess.

This is again an instance of the writer portraying themselves as a victim, either because they are deliberately trying to maliciously mislead their audience or because they truly believe it. Just to be clear - they are claiming that they are being targeted because someone noticed and reported admitted TOS violations on their “two…most well-know fics in two major fandoms.” If they are claiming they are being targeted by someone acting in bad faith, and therefore the (again, admittedly legitimate!) violation reports are a form of targeted harassment, wouldn’t they have a much better claim if the violations were reported on fics with very low hit counts (so that someone would be less likely to randomly find them)?

And a side note - if these TOS violations were on the poster’s “most well-known fics” in “major fandoms,” that goes directly to the relevance of their ‘the violations were posted a long time ago’ mitigation claim. A well-known fic is more likely to be currently receiving continuing views (remember, the harm the violations are causing is based on people seeing them), and an author who is continuing to get hits/kudos/comments on that work would presumably be aware of its continued popularity, and thus should be aware of the need, after receiving a warning, to make sure to personally review it for violations.

Again, we’ve already addressed this issue repeatedly. So I will just note here that the writer is claiming that it is “actually fucking ridiculous” not to grandfather in active TOS violations. Imagine making this argument in any other context. Imagine an author has a book that they wrote 14 years ago but is still selling. Imagine someone notices this year, for the first time, that the author has extensively plagiarized copyrighted material. They alert the victim, who brings a suit, and the publisher stops publishing the author’s book and refuses to publish any of their other book as well. Does the writer think it is “actually fucking ridiculous” for the publisher to cease publishing the author, simply because the author was able to avoid detection for so long?

(Since I’m not doing much analysis here, let’s talk instead about what the purpose of this portion of the poster’s response might be. I’m putting this as an aside, because this isn’t strictly part of the close reading, and it is absolutely not it the spirit of good faith I am still trying to use. We’re going to look at the effect of this section in context. Let’s start by analyzing the use of the term “you” in this post. When the post began, the writer used “you” to refer to themself (“no matter how willing you are to fix it…etc.”). In the same section, the writer switches to using “you” to refer to AO3 (“if you have fans…”). In the third section, they start by using “you” to refer to AO3 (“You guys are the ones…”) and then switches in the next sentence to directly address the readers (“if any of you following me”). This switch isn’t a casual fluid switch like it was previously - instead, it is positioned in a sentence directly warning the readers that AO3 might come after them next. In the following section, they don’t use the second person, but they do imply (nonsensically) that someone is targeting them with these TOS violation reports. We then catch up with the above section - “they can and will go after you.” Note that the post starts directly addressing the reader at the same time that it builds up an escalating threat. This creates a sense of fear and camaraderie with the writer, positioning reader and writer as “us” against a malicious “them” who is not just targeting the writer, but the readers as well. This makes the reader more sympathetic to the writer, and more likely to believe their claims; after all, “you” know you’re not breaking AO3's TOS, and if “you” did, it would be an accident. How ridiculous for AO3 come after someone like “you” - someone who has broken the TOS multiple times in the past in the same way and has explicitly…been…warned…hmmm…how much like “you” is the poster, actually?)

Anyway,

I’m going to reiterate what I said after the writer’s response to the previous warning letter: what should AO3 have written to make this a warning that the writer would accept as legitimate? This is a bit longer and more detailed, but substantially the same as what was reportedly written in the previous letter. In that context, the poster said it didn’t look like an official warning, it wasn’t clear or serious enough. In this context, substantially the same content in substantially the same tone is recontextualized as too serious, a threat that secretly means AO3 already plans on banning them permanently. To borrow a phrase…"this is actually fucking ridiculous."

Again, if we are reading the post in the best possible light, this is someone who is so emotionally distraught that they have descended into paranoia and are unable to correctly characterize the situation. Alternatively, this reads like someone who deliberately characterizing AO3’s responses to best achieve their own ends. They want this suspension to appear unjustified and unjustifiable, which means they can’t have received clear previous warnings for the same TOS violations they are suspended for - so there was only one warning that wasn’t clear or official enough to give them any real notice. Now, they want to appear as a victim who is being targeted by a system that has it out for them, no matter what they do - so substantially the same warning is a threat that indicates an intent to ban them regardless of what they do next.

And we are back to the beginning: not understanding the first thing about the law and using (at this point I feel safe in saying) deliberately charged language to describe the situation.

(And mischaracterizing the text that is LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM – AO3 isn’t saying it will take a week to respond! It is giving you a week to comply once your suspension is lifted! What do you want it to do, impose further sections if you don’t comply within 12 hours?!?! I mean, if that’s what you’re asking for...)

AO3 is not taking control of the writer’s works. It has control how it chooses to display and store works that the writer has granted it permission to display and store. This is all very clearly laid out in the TOS.

We’ve already addressed that the writer does NOT know that AO3 did not investigate their alleged mitigation evidence. The writer is once again positioning a failure to agree with their position that the suspension should be lifted as a failure by AO3 to read or consider their evidence.

I’m not going to address most of the specifics they list, because I would basically just be repeating myself over and over again with more details and this analysis is already long enough. These specifics might be important, except that the poster has already admitted that they did violate the TOS. Even assuming they are characterizing their email, AO3’s full response, and the “Not Actually Violations” correctly, it doesn’t matter for the purpose of whether they violated the TOS (again) and received a legitimate suspension.

The only specific I will address is their blatant lie at the end: the TOS specifically bans all commercial promotion, NOT just self-promotion. The writer is explicitly, obviously lying - not just misunderstanding, not just mischaracterizing, flat out lying.

We have something in common, finally - I’m really offended too.

So I looked at some other posts for more context about this comment on deleting a work, just to make sure I wasn’t mischaracterizing: the writer apparently, fed up with AO3, wants to delete their works prior to the end of their suspension. Their “inability” to do so appears to be a major basis for their “kidnapping” claims above. This, once again, might be a legitimate complaint - AO3’s TOS does confirm that a suspended user retains the rights to remove their work (subject to certain data storage exceptions to meet AO3’s obligations).

Unfortunately, the poster’s next sentence makes it clear this compliant is not legitimate. The TOS are explicit that the way a suspended user can delete their works is through contacting AO3 administrators. If the poster had requested such delegations and been refused, AO3 would have violated their own TOS. Instead, the user states they just asked AO3 to lift the suspension. There is zero evidence that they asked AO3 to delete their works, and instead are mischaracterizing AO3’s refusal to lift their suspension as a refusal to delete their works, both in this post and elsewhere. I feel like a broken record at this point, but once again, they are mischaracterizing a very clear situation to make themselves look like a victim and AO3 a villain.

An appropriate gif of a petulant, spoiled child to match this closing paragraph. I don’t think I need to say anything else.

#AO3 drama #little tin cults #edited to add a read more #apologies to everyone who reblogged it before that #edited to fix the typo in the second paragraph that I can't believe I never noticed before

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caffeine-and-computers · 2 years

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Writing Realistic Characters - part 2

- Journal from their perspective. It can be hard to write compelling, realistic motivation for characters if you don’t understand them yourself. By journalling from their perspective, even if the content of the journal isn’t included in your story, you’ll essentially be thinking as the character. This should help you understand who they are and how they make choices and react to things, like a real person would.

- Answer “character questions”, but be careful when using lists found online. The internet is full of lists of questions for writers to answer when building characters, but not all of them are actually that important or useful. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter what a character’s favourite colour, animal or day of the week is (unless it’s relevant to your story... but it usually isn’t). When looking for question lists online, or making your own, focus on questions that have to do with your character’s personality, such as how they’d react to a situation or which values matter more to them.

- Make character charts! I can’t stress this enough — character charts are incredibly useful tools for writers and I don’t know what I’d do without them. They’re a great way to keep track of important information about your characters in an organized way that’s easy to access when you need to quickly check a detail. I’d also strongly recommend making your own charts, not using templates online (I find it a lot easier to stay organized when I’m using my own organizational system). If you need a place to start, though, I normally create charts with 4 categories: role (protagonist, antagonist, etc.), name, identities (gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc.), and description (just a brief few sentences about them). You can also make personality charts with things like their greatest flaw, greatest strength, story goals, etc.

- Come up with a few detailed memories/anecdotes from their past. Think of them as mini-stories you can drop into your main story to build a more realistic life around the character. These don’t have to be crucial to the plot, and should be brought up in a natural way, such as in conversation with another character or in the main character’s thoughts. For example, your MC’s best friend might compliment her necklace, and she tells them how her sister gave it to her as a birthday present before moving away. You can also use these anecdotes to drop in important information in a non-obvious way. Continuing the example above, the MC could mention that her sister has the same design necklace, but in green. Later, this becomes a clue, when she finds the green necklace outside the villain’s lair.

- Keep a record of their backstory. This one doesn’t really need much explaining... Just keep notes of your character’s backstory as you come up with it so you don’t risk inconsistencies, which tend to break down realism.

- Remember that the reader can’t see what’s in your head. Your characters may be fully developed, realistic people in your head, but that makes it easy to forget that your readers don’t automatically understand them the way you do — they only know what’s on the page. Asking other people to read your work can help you understand how your characters come through to an audience, but if you don’t want to do that, just re-reading it yourself is also helpful. If you do the latter, though, go through an entire chapter at a time, the way a reader would, not small sections.

#writing advice #creative writing #fiction writing #writing #writeblr #writing tips #advice #writing characters #write #writer #fiction #writer problems #writer's block #character creation #realistic writing #realistic characters #writing realistic characters #character chart #overcoming writer's block

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wooahaes · 5 months

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a love that burns brightly

pairing: non-idol!s.coups x gn!reader

genre: fluff. domestic fic. established relationship.

word count: 1.0k~

warnings: reader has a side business selling candles. mentions of hot wax (being melted).

daisy's notes: me as i restrain myself from writing husband!cheol again bc i feel like im too predictable-

If there was one thing you could say about your boyfriend, it was that he probably advertised your side business more than you did.

Candle-making had started as something you did kind-of for fun. Sure, you sold your candles from the very beginning, but it was more-so because you needed some way of recouping the money you sunk into it. And, sure, it was only a side business that took up… a lot more time than you liked admitting. But that was what your days off were for: dedicating as much time as you needed to make your candles and restock the online store. This time of year was always your busiest for a reason (Holiday scents! Sales! Clear your inventory so you can start fresh in the new year!), and that meant Seungcheol stayed over at your apartment a lot more… especially when he came in with a list.

He’d been reading it off to you as you moved about your kitchen (your center of operations, so to speak), “Jeonghan said he loved the cinnamon candle you gave him. Joshua liked the pine one, and I thought we could maybe throw in an extra? I’ll pay for it. And Jun…”

All of this was what he’d pulled together over the past week. You’d told Seungcheol that if he wanted to sell to his coworkers that it’d be fine (considering how often he bragged about your work), but yesterday was the deadline for any orders. Of course… You didn’t expect him to manage to get every single person he was close to to buy at least one. Even that Vernon guy, who apparently bought three—two for his parents and one for his own girlfriend(slash-his-own-apartment since they lived together).

You looked up from the double boiler you were using to melt wax. “Cheollie?”

He stopped mid sentence, right about to tell you what he’d convinced Jihoon to order, “Yes?”

“Why don’t you live here?” The two of you had been together for almost two years at this point—although you’d known him for longer.

He made his way over to you, setting the list down closer. “Don’t you remember?” He leaned against your fridge. “You said you didn’t want to live with anyone for a while.”

Your brows drew together. When did you…? And then it clicked. Back when you first met Seungcheol (through Joshua—he went to the same gym as you, and one music-based conversation was enough to make the two of you friends), he’d said something about his own roommate at the time. You’d admitted that that was the exact reason why you weren’t going to live with anyone for a while. You made enough to support yourself: why not enjoy the solitude?

(“Even if you’re dating someone?” Joshua had said, nudging you as he kept stealing glances at Seungcheol.

“I mean, maybe eventually, but the right person isn’t going to force themselves in unless it’s an emergency,” you had shrugged in response. “I don’t mind sharing my space if I need to, but… I like living alone right now.”)

“I mean… Yeah… But…” You avoided his gaze, stirring the mixture with your silicone spatula to try and help it melt more evenly. “I just thought we’d talk about it at some point.”

He crossed his arms. “Honey?”

“Hm?”

“Is this your way of asking me to move in?”

One glance at Seungcheol was enough to tell you he was thoroughly enjoying the idea of making you admit it. Another slow stir, and you nodded after a moment. “Maybe.”

“Is it?” He pushed a little further, and you swore you could hear his smile in his words alone. “Do you want me to?”

“Can it be your Christmas gift?”

He let out a soft chuckle. “If you want. My lease isn’t up for a few months, but I’d love to move in when it’s up.”

You hid a smile. “Can you get the jars from my office? You’ll have to center the wicks when it’s time, too.”

Seungcheol stepped forward, pressing a quick peck against your cheek. “Whatever you need me to do,” he turned. You listened as he walked out, yet still spoke loud enough for you to hear him, “Can I get one for free?”

“Aren’t you sick of them by now?”

You heard the sound of glass clinking together as Seungcheol heaved the box into his arms, making his way back in, “I’m not moving in for a few months,” he said. “And you usually have one burning here…”

Fair enough. “You can get one of the leftovers.”

“Deal.” He set the box at his feet as he began to pull the jars out, setting them out. “I know I’ve said it before, but… I’m proud of you.”

“Cheollie—”

“No, really,” he said. “I am. You work full time and you do this as a side business because you love it. If you ever wanted to quit and do this full time… I’d be happy to support you.”

“I like my job,” you shrugged. “I like this, too, but I’m happy with the balance I have now. Especially when I have this guy who comes around sometimes to help me…”

He smiled, setting another jar down. “Is he handsome?”

“I think he’s pretty sexy, yeah,” you giggled. “I think you know him, actually. His name is Yoon Jeonghan—”

Seungcheol almost elbowed you playfully, only stopping because of the hot wax in front of you. “You’re so mean to me,” he pouted. “Right after you were begging me to move in, too.”

“I wasn’t begging.”

Seungcheol chuckled again. “Sure you weren’t.” He let out a blissful sigh. “So… What scent is this batch going to be again?”

“I dunno. What scent did Yoon Jeonghan want again?”

Wax be damned. He turned, immediately pulling you in for a quick kiss, and you could feel him smile against your lips as you giggled. Honestly, you couldn’t wait until he moved in with you officially.

(... And maybe you’d text that to Jeonghan so he could get in on teasing Seungcheol, too.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny

#wooahaes.dec23 #wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x you #s coups x reader #s coups x you

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pinknightsinmymind · 1 year

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【 hell week - abby anderson 】

abby anderson x fem!reader

wc: 2.2k

based off request prompt: What do you think about them being in college and braving through finals together? Like, they've been working for hours and they collectively decide to encourage each other through it?

content: modern!au, college!au, established relationship, helping each other manage stress through finals, you and abby being caring gf's, LOTS of affection between you two, one sexual joke, abby being happy and sharing her sense of humor, lots and lots and lots of fluff, cuddling, use of pet names (babe, baby, love, etc.)

a/n: wowowow this was so cute to write ik its a little past finals week as the next semester has either begun or will be starting soon for ppl, but i hope reading about going through finals week and being domestic with abby is still heartwarming. i hope it can also be a comfort to be read again at a later time when its finals week again and you're stressed and need a moment to relax :) more than anything taking care of yourself during finals is the most important which is something i've barely learned and figured out how to do. anyways, now that i'm done lecturing, pls enjoy!!!!

“I think I’m going to drop out,” Abby announced. You snorted.

“Like hell you’d drop out,” you said back to her. You knew Abby was just being dramatic and complaining. Despite how draining the work was, you knew she loved her major and being in pre-med.

“No, I think I’m actually gonna do it this time. I’ll just scam people online for money. This medical shit just isn’t it. In fact, I think I’m gonna become the country’s most wanted con-woman.”

“What you need is a break from studying, not to drop out,” you advised. You leaned forward from across the table and closed Abby’s textbook and notes. She sighed and rubbed her temples. “You’ve been studying hard enough. Don’t push yourself.”

“You’re right.” She shuffled some of her note cards in her hands absentmindedly. “Neither of us have taken a break in a while. My brain hurts.”

“Tell me about it,” you grumbled. “Wanna get something to eat?”

“You read my mind. I think the walk would be good for me.”

“Plus, we’ve done enough studying for a while. We can study more later tonight.”

“You’re a genius, [Y/N],” she grinned. “That’s why I keep you around.” You rolled your eyes as you gathered your things together and shoved them in your backpack. Abby followed suit as the two of you prepared to leave the library. You checked your phone and saw it was around three o’clock, and you had both been there since before noon. Yeah, you both definitely needed the break.

“Tonight,” you started as you walked by Abby’s side, “we’ll study some more. I say we take a few hours to ourselves.”

“Oh, yeah?” she asked flirtily. You hit her arm.

“Not like that! I meant we should decompress for a while. Eat, watch some TV, that kind of thing.”

“Physical activities are good for decompressing,” she countered.

“Oh, I’m sure they are to you. Look at you. You go to the gym, like, six times a week,” you joked.

“Five,” she corrected.

“See!” you exclaimed. The two of you finally exited the library, the sun’s warmth and beams hitting you. The warmth was delicious, and much better than the freezing Arctic inside the library.

“I thought you liked my physique. Some say it’s Grecian.”

The laugh spilled from your lips before you could even stop yourself. “Oh, my God. You did not just say that.”

“I think I’d be a Spartan,” she mused.

“You’re joking.”

“No, I’m one hundred percent serious. Sparta’s no joking matter.”

“You are so—I don’t even know what to say.”

“Charming? Hilarious? I’ve heard it all before,” she said cockily. Before you could even respond you felt her hand slither close to yours and lace your fingers together. “What do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know. What’s closest?”

“That sandwich place you like is nearby. We just gotta walk past the art building and it’s right there.”

“Deal!” you agreed. Walking through campus was always enjoyable with Abby by your side. She made the weather less dull, the day less mundane. It was these little moments with her that you enjoyed the most. Sure, it’s boring everyday life, but she made it special. Abby swung your interlocked hands through the air as she matched your stride. Yes, you may have been in the middle of exams, but at least you had Abby by your side while you endured it. You enjoyed the small journey together, taking the time to admire the beautiful landscapes before you. The university had many trees planted around campus whose lush, green branches provided bountiful amounts of shade. There were squirrels roaming around searching for food, while only a few other students wandered around. For some finals week had barely begun, while others were going through the dregs of it.

Nearly everyone had coffee in their hands while they were dressed lazily—and none of them you could blame. Finals week tired you out beyond compare, and you still had a paper to complete tonight. Abby had two more exams to prepare for, while you only had one more in a few days. You were both just trying your best to make it through the week, both vowing to help each other whenever necessary. That included monitoring each other’s sleeping schedules, making sure you both stayed on task, and making sure above all you were both taking care of your health. That was the most important one seeing as the two of you had a streak for getting so involved in your studies you often neglected your well-being. It was a slippery slope, but when you had each other to look after one another, it made things somewhat easier.

“Hey,” you said to Abby suddenly. She glanced at you, waiting for you to finish speaking. “I’ll pay for lunch today.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yeah. My treat.” You squeezed her hand in yours, watching as a smile spread across Abby’s face. She looked radiant whenever she smiled.

“Trying to wine and dine me?” she teased.

“You know it.”

Lunch with Abby was just as calming and therapeutic as you thought it would be. Not only did it calm your nerves, but it gave both of your brains just the break they needed. You both took your time to eat, looking to enjoy each others’ presence and the food instead of rushing. After eating, the two of you decided to head back to your shared apartment rather than go to the library again.

“Do we have to start studying right away now that we’re home?” you asked her. Abby glanced at her watch. It was barely five, but she didn’t want you to stress yourself out more. In fact, she felt you deserved to rest more, instead.

“’Course not, babe,” she answered. “You’ve already been working hard enough. Let’s just watch something together.” Abby pulled together some blankets and set up her laptop for the two of you on your bed. Settling herself against the headboard with the blanket wrapped around her, she opened up her arms for you to join her. You quickly joined her, Abby wrapping the blanket around you as well. She pulled you close to her body, arms around you tightly, as you began to watch the show you binge watched together. Abby placed quick kisses against your cheek and forehead here and there, but still made sure to concentrate on the show before her. Despite this, you still managed to distract her and pull her into more heated kisses every now and then.

After a few episodes you asked Abby if she was ready to finish studying, and when she said yes the marathon ended. You sat at the small dinner table together, Abby turning through the pages of her textbook and making countless flashcards. You, however, pulled out your laptop and began working on your paper. It was due tomorrow at noon, so you wanted to be sure you got it done by tonight, even if it meant staying up extra late. You’d make that sacrifice if you had to. You wrote page after page, inserting your quotes, making arguments, for what felt like forever. However, you were still nowhere close to done. It was already past 10 P.M., and you had at least three to four pages left to do. After about twenty more minutes, Abby wrapped up her studying and announced she would take a shower.

“I’ll be back, love,” she said, giving you a small kiss before heading to the bathroom. You sighed as you heard the water start running. You knew it was going to be a while before you finished, but you’d have to bear it for the time being. You worked in a frenzy as the pressure of your final grade hung over your head. You just wanted to finish this assignment so the semester could finally be over. Abby finally returned from her shower after some time, rubbing the strands of her hair in her towel to dry it off.

“How’s the paper coming?” she asked. You shook your head.

“It’s coming,” you groaned.

“It’s getting pretty late. Are you almost done?”

“Hardly,” you answered. Abby came up behind you and began massaging your shoulders. It helped to calm you somewhat, her hands managing to rub the spots that ached the most.

“Want me to stay up with you?” she asked softly.

“I’d like that,” you said. Abby finished massaging your shoulders and pulled out the seat next to you.

“I’ll stay here the whole time with you, baby, but let’s make a deal.”

“What is it?” you asked. You looked away from your screen and into your girlfriend’s eyes as she spoke.

“Before I tell you, what time is this paper due?”

“Tomorrow at noon,” you answered.

“Okay, here’s what we’ll do. I’ll let you write a little bit more, but after midnight you’re gonna take a shower and go to sleep.”

“But I need to finish this,” you argued.

“Yeah, but you can’t tire yourself out, babe. You’re not pulling an all-nighter on my watch. We’ll wake up early together tomorrow and you can finish it, okay? So just do what you can tonight.”

“Fine,” you grumbled.

“So, how much you got left?” she asked.

“About two to three pages,” you answered.

“I think you should write until you only have one page left. How does that sound?”

“Doable,” you responded. You turned back to your laptop and continued where you left off. Abby leaned over and rested her head on your shoulder as you wrote. Usually you didn’t like having people watch you write, but with Abby it was different. You adored her and cherished her company. While she leaned on you, one of her hands rubbed circles onto your back absentmindedly.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking you to finish your paper in the morning,” she spoke up suddenly. “I just don’t want you to burn yourself out or stay up too late. I know how we both get when it’s finals, so I just don’t want either of us to make the same mistakes again, you know?”

“It’s okay, Abs. I don’t mind,” you reassured her. “To be honest, I kind of like it. It makes me feel cared for.”

“You’re very cared for,” she said, pecking your cheek. Finally, after about twenty more minutes of writing, you finally reached a stoppining point that wouldn’t be too hard to continue the following morning.

“Done!” you exclaimed. Abby smiled at you and shut your laptop for you.

“Good. Now do what you need to do. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“You better not fall asleep,” you warned. You pecked her lips as you rose from the table to go take your shower. The warm water was calming as it soothed your joints and cleansed your body. Once you finished your shower and nightly routine, you found Abby waiting in bed for you. She had the blanket covering her legs as she read one of her books quietly. You crawled into bed carefully beside her and curled up into her side.

“Ready for bed?” Abby asked. She closed her book and placed it on her nightstand.

“Yeah,” you answered. Without another word Abby turned her lamp off and pulled you into her.

“Good night,” she whispered into your neck.

“Good night,” you said back to her. It wasn’t long before the two of you dozed off.

+ + +

“Hey,” she whispered. “Wake up, sleepyhead.” You groaned as you wiped your eyes and they adjusted to the bright lights. She must have had the kitchen lights on and the blinds open like always since she was the morning person in the relationship. You could smell fresh coffee and feel Abby’s arms around your body. Her hand stroked your cheek as she whispered to you softly. “Come on. I’ve got your morning coffee ready. Just how you like.”

“For real?” you asked. Abby laughed at your response.

“Yes, now go wash up.” You groggily dragged yourself out of bed and to the bathroom to wash up, the cold water you splashed on your face waking you up. After you finished brushing your teeth, you wandered to the kitchen where Abby sat at the table waiting for you.

“What time is it?” you asked.

“Barely nine, so you have plenty of time to finish up your paper and edit,” she said. You came towards her and sat in her lap, wrapping your arms around her neck. Abby’s hands immediately found refuge around your waist as she rubbed them against the small of your back.

“You’re the best girlfriend ever,” you muttered into her shoulder.

“Well, thank you,” she said in response.

“Alright, I’m gonna finish my work,” you announced. You rose from Abby’s lap as she reluctantly pulled her hands away from your body. You pulled out your chair and grabbed the coffee mug Abby left out for you. It was exactly how you liked it, just as she said. After working for nearly an hour, you finally finished your paper and began editing it. That took close to another hour, and by then you were able to turn it in confidently. You let out a sigh of relief as you glanced at Abby beside you.

“All done?” she asked.

“All done,” you said happily. Abby leaned over and kissed your cheek.

“Happy to hear it. Wanna cuddle the rest of the day? I say we rest today since we have a couple more days till our next exams.”

“You don’t even have to ask,” you answered.

#tlou #tlou2 #tlou x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x reader #tlou abby #abby anderson

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munsonthemisfit · 1 year

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This following post will be a rant about the fanfiction situation we have seen over the last couple of days. Please note: this rant covers the topic of child endangerment, assault, interacting in nsfw ways with minors, taboo themes and the internet's reaction to it all.

This post DOES NOT condone the creation of said subjects and does NOT go into detail about anything graphic other than explaining the situation at surface level. If this makes you uncomfortable then please skip this post, I have put it under a "keep reading" to ensure you aren't forced to read something that makes you upset <3

*sighs loudly*

Alright, fuckers. Buckle up, I’ve got something to say.

Firstly, there’s a major difference between a subject being dark/taboo and literally straight up illegal. I'm unsure how you cannot understand that, but here we are I suppose?

I do not care what your personal opinion is on the matter, there is a huge difference, and if you are someone who feels comfortable writing/reading/reblogging illegal material like what we have seen over the last couple of days, I truly have no shame in calling you out in the slightest. You can take that up with God or whatever kinda thing you believe in; I’m judging you and I’ll call you out on that shit when I see it. Things are illegal for a reason and I'm unsure why anyone feels the need/urge to post that kind of content without needing their hard drives checked in all honesty.

Fanfiction is a community; fandoms are a community.

We need to keep our community safe.

Writers post things with trigger warnings and content warnings, readers need to heed those warnings before consenting to interacting with it. We post smut for adults and everything else is free for all ages to enjoy.

We heavily insist that minors keep away from our content because as adults, we shouldn’t be interacting with any of y’all, but we know the risks when we post. There’s always going to be children who don’t listen, don’t respect our warnings, don’t get the hint that we block them for our protection as much as their own. Which is why writers (at least ones with their morals in check) will post on everything possible that minors are not allowed/will be blocked if caught interacting, and at almost 27 years old, I stand by this.

I don’t care if you think I’m an asshole, I do not consent for minors to be in my circle. If you are a minor and you choose to interact regardless of our boundaries/warnings, you are proving why we have to resort to blocking anyone we find infiltrating our bubble.

People over 18 do not even need to be interacting with minors, let alone providing them nsfw content, that isn’t for you yet. Kids will find ways to get what they want, and the older half of fandoms are aware of this because we used to be you, but you can’t get mad at us for doing our best to filter you out of our pages.

We do not want to appear complicit for providing any sort of adult content for you children. We have the right to protect our online space however we see fit.

Writers post stories with brief descriptions and warnings at the very top of their posts¸ to allow anyone scrolling by to know whether things are going to be your cup of tea. Even if these posts are reblogged, funnily enough, warnings and descriptions are still the first thing you can see.

I'm unsure on how people have chosen to use the excuse “I didn’t see/know” because there is literally no way you could have avoided that. To interact in any regard (liking/reblogging/commenting) you have to scroll past the entire story to get to those buttons, don’t try and say that you ignore the entire block of text in favour of interacting without knowing a single thing about it.

I refuse to believe that anyone who is on Tumblr is just “so busy” that they can skim read all forms of warnings on a horrendous post and still go ahead and spread it/encourage it by interacting. If you are going to be complicit, you are coming across as complacent.

If you choose to interact/spread horrendous content with the excuse of “well I didn’t know” despite the fact the writer themselves gives you a warning on the content, you are part of the problem.

When you come online, you have to do your part. Read things.

Take the time to truly see what is within your community, it is not our job to police it. We shouldn’t have to come and message you every time we think you are connected to something we don’t want to see, we don’t have to slide into your dms and ask if you knew what you were doing. If you have liked/reblogged a post with content we don’t like, that is you showing that you are complicit, that is you making a public statement of “this is okay with me, here my name and face is attached to positive reinforcement of giving this user notes” and that is enough to make us block you.

If you can “casually” like/reblog because you “skimmed” something, we can block under that same principle. We see your name attached to something illegal, we block. We don't owe anyone a second chance, if something makes us umcomfortable, we can remove it from our circle without needing to defend our choices.

I’ll be honest, I’m a busy person, I skim read. Yes.

However, the difference is, I will still take the time to ensure that what I am skim reading isn’t something illegal, and apparently that is something some of you are unable to do. If I have gone out of my way to like a post to get back to it later, I have skim read over the vague tone of the post beforehand, so I would have seen the giant fucking warnings that explain a post has some messed up shit in it.

I literally do not understand how you could have read over the warnings and gone “yep – I’ll read that later 😊” and then gotten upset that we have seen your name attached to the notes. That is a pathetic excuse. You should have seen the warnings and subject and taken a couple extra seconds before acting upon it.

It’s completely different if the author had sneakily slipped that in or not given a heads up about the subject, but they did, there is no excusing it, really.

As I said before, it is not our job to police things. I’m not going to sit and refresh a horrible person’s post and contact each person who likes/comments/reblogs it and be like “did you know that you’re doing this?!” because it’s not my job and you have already proven yourself to be okay with it as you’ve interacted.

We have full time jobs, classes to be attending, life to be living, we sure as hell are not going to slide into multiple DMS and question your every decision. If we see that you are causing the horrid writer to think we want more from them by interacting positively, we are going to see that as a red flag and block at source.

It might be just me, I’m not sure, but if someone tags their posts as “dark/taboo” then I will check out their page and see what their limits are. I want to know that I’m comfortable interacting with the type of content they will be writing. I don’t want to like one post from them and find out later that they post something utterly horrific because then I would appear complicit with their entire nature and that makes me massively uncomfortable.

So, yes, I will look at someone’s page and get a vibe check before interacting because funnily enough I don’t want my name attached to their potential abuse. It seems like the bare minimum to check out who’s in my circle and make sure none of us are encouraging illegal shit, y’all don’t vet authors who post and make sure they aren’t using fanfic as a way to normalise their morbid nature?

People aren’t getting policed for everything they say/do, people are being called out for attaching their name so confidently to a person/blog/story that has some horrendous content.

We are allowed to voice our discomfort and announce our detachment from said person/blog/story to bring awareness to those who were unaware to give them the chance to either consent to those posts in their circle or block at will. I’m not saying we should run around with pitchforks screaming “*insert @ here* is a nonce!!!!” if they “accidentally” like a post to “read later” as they claim, but I’m within my right as an adult with a moral compass to block/unfollow anyone I see liking that shit.

I don’t owe you an explanation, a chance at forgiveness, anything.

If something you have done makes me uncomfortable, you aren’t allowed near my page, why is that so hard for anyone to respect?

“Not everyone fully looks at content before they reblog it!!” Well, maybe y’all should start. Welcome to the internet, where you need to understand that actions have consequences. Accidents happen, but you’ve gotta accept responsibility and realise that accidents still have reactions.

If you do something we don’t morally agree with, even as an “accident”, and we are uncomfortable, we are blocking it.

“They only warned about *insert two illegal topics here* so why are you mad about us interacting with *insert different illegal topic here* that we ‘didn’t know’ was included?” – bruh, please try and have some self-awareness. People have different boundaries. If they are uncomfortable with you supporting any content with any illegal subject involved they are well within their right to block you.

The fact it took us mere seconds to skim read their accounts and find the problem, yet you are using the defence that you had “no idea” despite the fact y’all were the ones interacting with the account speaks volumes, my dude. Why are you promoting shit you “don’t agree with” and acting like you were clueless when it took us all mere seconds to find the problem and decide we aren’t okay with it?

You need to be way more careful with what you interact with online, that’s what needs to be taken from this.

Like I said – it is not our job to sit and gatekeep things 24/7. If we see people interacting with content we don’t agree with, blocking you is completely within our rights to do. You need to be responsible for your own online interactions and maybe not skimread things.

This isn’t directed at any one person, more the whole community.

I’ve unfortunately seen people defending their actions, I’ve seen many call out posts, I’ve seen people stating their repulsion to this situation, I’ve seen it all and acted accordingly. It’s that simple. This isn’t a hate post, I’m not indirectly mentioning anyone, I’ve just gathered the gist of the situation from the stream of it on my dashboard and this was my personal standpoint.

If you’re going to get mad that people are hurt over you mindlessly interacting with posts where people have fantasied and romanticised the idea of any character harming children in any form, whether you liked the posts “by accident,” or because you are a sick fuck, that is your problem, frankly. You cannot hurt people's feelings (whether it was by accident or maliciously), then get mad at them for being hurt.

You need to do better and actually read what you are interacting with before you do that. People are allowed to be hurt and uncomfortable and angry and upset over others deciding to sexualise horrendous topics.

We can’t exactly stop the content being made, but we can keep our circle clean of that shit and block/unfollow anyone who’s values clash with our own.

It’s that simple, internet. <3

#ooc #long post

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 18 days

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ari !! ari i hope u are doing so so amazing n vibing and living ur best life, i feel like i haven’t been interacting as much these days so i wanted to stop by n say hi!! :] and hmmm ive yet to read your best friend’s brother fic but it made me wanna think of an unrequited love between best friend!satoru and you where satoru is the one down horrendous instead (and perhaps you’re already spoken for.. mayb with sugu…. this is totally not ari-specific bait) i would love to hear your thoughts on our special little loverboy not being loved back in the ways he wants so bad )): 🫶🏼 side note if i think abt this pining bestie!gojo too much i get so sad i fear he’d never get over that crush on you even if you were already married to someone else… 💔💔💔💔

LOGAN !!!!! ^ this is me @ you rn……. i am kissing you and biting you gently <33333

I’M DOING PRETTY WELL… flowers r starting to bloom over here which is so nice !!! i’m just kind of waiting for summer ….. i have so many fic ideas that i wanna get to but not enough time :’3 not to mention my neglected tbr………

bUT overall i’m doing well!!! i hope it’s the same for you!!!!! it’s so sweet of u to drop by sniffle…. but pls don’t ever feel pressured to !! i saw that post you made a couple days ago n pls just know there’s never any pressure or obligation for you to interact often and stuff!!!! i’m always happy to speak to you whenever, so there’s never any rush <33 (i totally get it too… i’m pretty sure i have the online status thing turned off which takes off a lot of that pressure so!! i recommend doing that if you haven’t already <33)

BUT OKOK. onto the good stuff!!!! logan…. this probably doesn’t come as too much of a surprise considering the fic i posted but . i rlly love the unrequited love trope!!! >:3 i used to be the biggest sucker for hanahaki aus…. still am……. i need to write smth on it at some point bc i think it’s one of the best things ever created (and it’s perfect for toru let’s be real… the flower symbolism)….. SO. scenarios like this are very appealing to me!! and with bestie!satoru too…….. i have many thoughts >:33 let’s see how long i manage to stay coherent hehe

FIRST OF ALL. the ari specific bait…… you little weasel (affectionate) OK BUT . the fact that it’s Suguru in Particular changes a lot i think. i’ll circle back to that later tho trust 🙏

okay so. overall!! and i’d love to know your thoughts on this logan….. i firmly believe that satoru is the type to love one single person for the rest of his life. he never moves on from them. once someone has earned his love and nestled their way into his heart they’re there to stay. (and i’d argue that it’s kinda supported by canon yk… satoru hanging on to his memories of youth/suguru no matter how much time passes :’3)… so!! yeah!!! i definitely think he’d stay in love with his bestie forever, even if he knew fully well his feelings wouldn’t be returned. that’s just my take though!!!

i thinkkkk the tricky part is just. how satoru feels about it. a part of me wants to say that he handles it decently, that he’s happy just to be around you… but i think it’s also natural for him to feel a little empty about it all. bc he truly is!! a loverboy!!! deep down he yearns so badly for intimacy :(((( satoru is just such a pro at isolating himself and i think it gets worse in this kind of scenario. he loves you but does keep a certain distance i think…. to make it easier for himself and also so he doesn’t mess anything up for you. but he can never keep himself away for too long……

ok so we’re circling back to sugu now. i think satoru would handle the situation a lot better if suguru and you were together. my stsg-infested brain just can’t imagine an au where he isn’t at least a little bit in love with suguru…. and i think seeing two people he loves and trusts with all his heart be together doesn’t bother him nearly as much as it would have if you were with a random third party. there’s this One quote i like from . um….. a voice actor. of a character. in… ohshc 👉👈 AND I JUST THINK IT FITS IN THIS SCENARIO OK…….. :’3

I think Kyoya is very much in love with Tamaki and with Haruhi. He’s very much in love with the both of them. And I think it matures to a point where he would much prefer to see the both of them together than him with either one. Because they make more sense together than he makes with anybody else.

i think that’s sort of how he’d feel!!! there’s a kind of maturity there that satoru has imo. and since he’s so close to both of you, he doesn’t have to worry about being pushed out of your life (which might be his biggest worry in a scenario where you’re together with a random third party)…… so. yeah!!! would it be angsty? yes ofc. but i rlly do see satoru as a mature character, and also often selfless!!! he just respects you and your choices so much :(((

……….. what i will say. is that if you happened to get together with someone who didn’t treat you well. he would Shut That Shit Down instantly <3333 we love angry protective satoru !!!!!!!!

#goddddd logan i just imagined satoru at reader and suguru’s wedding :’3 #he’s the best man obv….#and after a while he does start to tear up a bit #and everyone teases him #and he’s okay with that because a tiny tiny part of him doesn’t know if they’re happy tears or not……#💔💔#he just feels so much i think #BUT YEAH I. firmly believe satoru would love you forever actually #sorry for immediately rushing to the most extreme conclusions but like… what if your npc partner left you with a child #and fucked off #and satoru was there for you… raising the child almost as his own…….. and their first word ends up being “gojo” 🥺🥺🥺🥺#I’M 99% SURE THAT’S BEEN DONE BEFORE but let’s pretend i’m first ok…..#anyway i’m rambling pshdjsh #I LOVE YOUUU LOGAN <33333 #i hope!!! you’re taking care of yourself!!!!! you deserve it!!!!!!!!!!#sending you all the sunlight and treats and kisses and warmth :33 ty for the lovely question aaaaaaaa #I’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS but pls also take your time!!!!! plspls!!!!!!! there’s never any rush!!!!!!!#ilyily <333 #ask tag ✩#logan !! ✩

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astradrifting · 1 year

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Hi! Were there any perspectives in the ASOIAF fandom that made your eyes roll? If there are, what made you say so? Thanks!

[mostly written in 2021, and posted very late. Sorry nonny!]

woof, this could open up a can of worms. I'm almost afraid this is a bait ask but I'm also very willing to run my mouth online about ASOIAF, and I love making fun of dumb theories, so let’s go!

Every time someone says that Jon and Dny are the song of ice and fire, my soul dies a little. Enough said.

I also hate the idea that parallels between ASOIAF history and the events of the books don’t matter. Not to state the obvious, but Westerosi history isn’t real. No part of it actually happened organically, GRRM has manufactured all of it, so everything must have been written with a purpose. I don’t buy that it’s just all world-building, because if parallels are obvious to us, they must be a thousand times more so for the man actually writing it all, and the army of editors who are probably helping him keep it straight.

There is absolutely no way that anything about Jonnel ‘One-Eye’ is a coincidence. Half-brother to Rickon Stark is obvious enough, but then we have his mother. Lynara sounds very similar to Lyanna (side note: a jonsa baby named Lynara would be adorable), but the real link is that she was born a Stark - all of the women on the family tree are listed under their maiden names. Her relation to her husband Cregan isn’t specified; it would have been so easy to have her be from another random house, or even a Karstark, yet what George wanted to convey is that Jonnel has a Stark mother, as well as a Stark father who happened to be heavily involved with the Targaryens.

Another fun thing linking Jonnel to Jon! Jon’s first relationship was with a red headed girl, who claimed that they were married because he’d stolen her. In the same conversation where she’s called half fish…

“You know nothing, Jon Snow. I’m half a fish, I’ll have you know.”

“Half fish, half goat, half horse…there’s too many halves to you, Ygritte.”

(ASOS, Jon V)

this conversation is already jonsa gospel as foreshadowing because of “half-fish”, but the horse part was always a little strange to me. As far as I remember, they didn’t have a prior conversation about her loving horses or riding particularly well, so that was seemingly out of left-field.

Well Jonnel’s second wife was a Ryswell - their sigil is a black horse’s head with a red mane.

pictured: the jonsa agenda winning again

The idea that Stannis will take Winterfell isn’t as personally annoying to me, all these dudebros have very detailed, tactics-based reasons to believe he’ll win I’m sure (something about a nightlamp?), but I just think it doesn’t do anything for the narrative, nor does it make sense with either his arc or Jon and Sansa’s.

Winning Winterfell will put Stannis in a position of strength, give him a base of operations in the North that’s not on loan from the Night’s Watch, and would probably lead to most of the Northern houses swearing allegiance to him, as Manderly has already promised to do. Why would a man in that position ever choose to burn his daughter, his only heir, alive? That is literally one of the few guaranteed book plots we have, so IMO speculation about Stannis all needs to work backwards from this end point; it’s ugly and horrible, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach reading it, but it’s the only ending to his arc that makes sense.

Kinslaying reoccurs time and time again in Stannis’ arc. Kinslaying for his own personal benefit, no less. In his first appearance in ACOK, he listens to Selyse suggest that he kill Renly, then stands by whilst Melisandre kills Maester Cressen, his surrogate father. Cressen raised him and loved him like a son; yet if he had killed Melisandre instead, Stannis would have lost the power she wields for his benefit, the main reason he has a chance at the throne. Later in the book, he implicitly allows his brother to be murdered so that he could gain the Stormlords that had rallied to Renly instead of him (anyone trying to argue that the shadow wasn’t technically Stannis so technically it wasn’t kinslaying will be put in the naughty corner for excessive pedantry). In ASOS, he’s willing to sacrifice his nephew, an innocent 12 year old under his guardianship. He says it’s for the realm, for duty, but really it’s for his destiny. What is the life of a bastard boy against a kingdom so close to his grasp?

It’s escalation. Each time so far he’s had a layer of deniability, but he’s not going to have that in the end. Ordering Shireen’s death himself, murdering his daughter in some desperate bid to secure victory over the Boltons, will be the final step off the cliff. Maybe he’ll have some military victories before that, smarter people than me have no doubt discussed the parallels to the Greek myth of Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter Iphigenia, but I have no doubt Stannis’ story is headed only towards tragedy.

….Turns out that I do have a lot of feelings about Stannis. But to get back to my original point, Jon and Sansa taking Winterfell back together, travelling through the North doing the work and proving themselves as worthy rulers, makes a lot more sense for their future roles in the story than Stannis winning it all for them. It’s also much more affecting and thematically resonant, so I refuse to believe D&D entirely made up that storyline.

I also inevitably end up rolling my eyes whenever I'm bored enough to go onto r/asoiaf, there's always a bad take right on the front page. One that annoyed me enough to go into @istumpysk’s inbox and kickstart my jonsa blogging was one asking what the point of R+L=J even is, because it never amounted to anything and just muddled up J/D being “the song of ice and fire”.

While it gets so close to the point that it’s funny, there’s no way the “song” is going to boil down to a relationship, let alone JD. I would almost buy Jon and Dænerys being the song of ice and fire if Jon actually were just Ned’s bastard, all ‘ice’. Hell, if he really wanted to make a relationship the song of ice and fire, he could have cut out the middleman and made Jon a trueborn Stark from the start - make them starcrossed lovers from warring families, truly ice and truly fire. Utterly boring, but thematically coherent at least. A major point of Jon’s character is that he is both - and something a lot messier than that besides, as a bastard.

It's not all bad on r/asoiaf though, when I went back to look for that post I saw another about how the Titan of Braavos is a Pacific Rim-style mech that will come to life to fight any dragons coming to the city, a theory that I will be championing from this moment henceforth.

Wait, nevermind, in that same thread someone said that Jaehaerys is the sexiest Targ name, so r/asoiaf is immediately cancelled again. That's another fandom perspective that makes me roll my eyes, the idea that Jaehaerys is in any way an acceptable name, especially as Jon's ‘secret’ name.

This 👏 is 👏 Targaryen 👏 propaganda 👏

Just look at it!! How do you even pronounce that? The hill I will most definitely die on is that this name is ugly.

#astra rambles #me throughout this ask: AND ANOTHER THING #my own stannis take does hurt me somewhat because for a while fanon stannis was /my/ boring little man #however then I read the books and didn’t actually like him much lmao #jonsa #anti stannis baratheon #anti house targaryen #anti daenerys targaryen #anti targaryen stans #just covering my bases #meta #within all the rambling at least #jesus this is long #I cut out another terrible r/asoiaf post I was ranting about because it’s seriously been a year since I started this

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agentfaust · 9 months

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for a very long time, i used to write fanfics and never post them. i’d type them up during lunch breaks or whenever i should’ve been sleeping and just… save them. i’d keep them in a little folder in the notes app on my phone and read them whenever i needed a little pick me up, because they made me genuinely happy and proud — in the sense that: i crafted this story, and i wrote this.

this summer, i finally had the courage to think, “if these stupid little stories make me so happy, i bet they can make someone else happy, too.” so i started an ao3 account and i began posting my works. in the beginning, i was terrified about what people would think, and as much as i hate to admit it, i would obsess over kudos and hits.

since i have confidence issues, especially with my work, i became the type of person who would beat myself up if i didn’t get “a lot” of kudos. i would start thinking, your writing isn’t good enough. it’s bad, that’s why no one wants to read it. you think you’re so great, but you can’t even get a fic to [x] kudos? who do you think you are?

i was brand new to posting for a fandom i’d loved for years, and i felt like an outsider (still do, but that’s not the point). i let it get to me. but what made me feel better about myself, always, were the comments. it made me jump with joy whenever someone (who wasn’t an ai) genuinely said “this made me feel so much better after a bad day” or “this made me laugh so hard.” the comments were what kept me going, and gradually, i started worrying less about negative comments, thinking that if so many people like my stories, they wouldn’t get to me.

in hindsight, that was pretty naive, because no matter what you do, if you show it to other people and put it online, criticism will follow, 100%. it’s impossible to please everyone all the time, in fanfic and everywhere else. there are people out there (beta readers!) who will give you genuine feedback and advice about your story because they want to see you and your work grow. however, there will also be people who don’t like your work and don’t mind saying so.

when i got one of those not-so-nice comments, i lost all my motivation. i kept asking myself why i was writing if no one liked my stories anyways. what i didn’t see is that i’m not writing these for other people. i’m writing these for myself, to make myself happy, and sharing them because maybe someone else could use that happiness, too.

i guess the point is you don’t owe anyone anything with your fanfics. people will always have their thoughts, their comments, their opinions, but it shouldn’t matter to you. it’s subjective in nature. you don’t have to defend your writing and yourself to anyone.

write for you, not anyone else.

#my thoughts #fanfic #life of an ao3 author #do it for yourself #sorry for the ramble #tw self loathing #kind of?#long post

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sexyzuka · 7 months

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A Fateful Encounter

Part Two - The Pursuit

Pairing: Kiba Inuzuka x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k+

Content: fem!reader, werewolf!reader, PTSD, mental health, gore, blood, angst, mentions of death, pet names

Summary: After unintentionally pilfering the medication you need to save your friend, your only goal now is to flee Konoha undetected. But it looks like you’ve angered the wrong ninja in the process. With Konoha’s number one tracker chasing after you, how exactly are you going to escape? It looks like you’ve really messed up this time, but you have no other options but to press on in hopes that you can outmaneuver your unwelcome audience. With Kōtarō’s life hanging in the balance, there’s no choice but to succeed. You won’t let yourself fail, especially not in front of a human of all things.

Writer’s Notes: Hey everyone! I’m back with the continuation of my fanfiction. I’ve included a lot of disturbing and vivid imagery in this chapter that some people might find distressing. I referenced some of my own struggles with PTSD when piecing together our heroine's plight. If that’s something that may be triggering for you, I recommend using your discretion when reading this fic. As always, please take care curating your online experience. Writing in this way helps me sort through my emotions and experiences, but I know that this kind of gruesome vibe isn’t for everyone. Thank you for stopping by, and please enjoy my innermost musings!

You can find Chapter One here!

Your pace quickens as you weave in and out of the crowd of people who are now walking the streets of Konoha. You don't like to wander into the village when it's daytime, but necessity trumps any sort of trepidation and restraint you'd normally exhibit, especially considering the situation.

So much has changed over the years, but the general layout of the village remains similar to how it'd been since the reconstruction around a decade or so ago. Large, flashy neon signs decorate the façades of the buildings that used to be humble and unassuming family-owned businesses. This new age of technology has given the village a more synthetic and futuristic vibe, it's almost unrecognizable to how it used to be when you first happened upon that modest little pet store.

As you skillfully maneuver your way through the throngs of absentminded villagers idling on their electronic devices, you're hit with a wave of adrenaline. Every step you take is carefully executed, brisk enough to get you to your destination expeditiously, but not overly flashy, lest your faltering guise of humanity be exposed. Interacting with humans is a delicate game of shōgi, one wrong move could jeopardize your entire strategy. A false step here could strip the golden sheen off of your body, melting your flimsy veneer with a callous indifference until there's nothing left but a heap of regret.

There's no way you're going to concede defeat now that you've come this far, though. There's no way you can let yourself just give up. If you're just a pawn, then so be it. Even the lowliest of shōgi pieces turn into gold generals once they infiltrate the enemy's territory, and you're already more than halfway to your destination.

"This medication isn't going to deliver itself," you say to yourself as you slowly exhale and grit your teeth. A quick pat on your cheeks calms your overstimulated nerves. With a renewed sense of vigor you continue on your way with a sprightly stride.

A few more minutes pass, and thanks to your subdued dashing you've made it to the familiar crates that line the wall that protects Konoha from outsiders. As you take your final steps to the containers you stop to take refuge in some shadows and take one final look around the vicinity with a furtive glance.

You don't often shift with this many people around, but since you took longer than you'd expected, you don't really have a choice in the matter. Most of the people are lingering around the nearby shops, and those who aren't are glued to their handheld devices.

"Now's as good of a time as any, I guess," you shrug to yourself. After scanning the nearby area one final time you jump up in the protective cover of the shadows and begin to morph into your true form.

You can feel your limbs shortening and your teeth repositioning, coupled with a searing pain that you almost find comforting because of its mundane familiarity. As the nails on your hands begin to sharpen you hear a loud voice calling out in the distance.

"Hey!" the gruff voice thunders, alongside the sound of uneven footsteps.

The sudden sound startles you, causing you to crash to the ground instead of land elegantly like you usually do. The aches that accompany your transformation hinder your recovery from this egregious blunder, so all you're able to do at the present time is look down the street while an oversized figure sprints towards you.

"Just what do you think you're-" the voice cuts off when the physique of your acquaintance from earlier today comes into view.

This was it. This was how it was all going to end, you think to yourself. There was no coming back from letting a human see your transformation sequence. This is just like when- no, no use thinking about that right now. There are more pressing matters.

As you look up pathetically from the ground you greet the man's confused expression with a melancholy frown, a silent acceptance of your fate.

"Woah, how did you do a beast transformation without hand seals?" you hear his voice ring out. "I would be seriously impressed right now if I wasn't pissed at you for ditching me back there."

Did he just say hand seals? So that must mean he didn't see everything. Which means... you still have the chance to weasel your way out of this situation.

The voice continued to chastise you while you collected your wits, "You do know that leaving a store without paying is stealing, right? And that stealing is a crime? Listen, I don't like arresting women as beautiful as you, but I'm going to need you to come down to the station with-"

This was it, this was your only chance. As the man turned his body slightly, reaching over to grab his handcuffs, you mustered up enough strength to jump up off the ground. As soon as your paws touched the dry earth you darted towards the wooden crates. You knew that this would likely threaten the only reliable entrance you had to Konoha, but there were no other options right now.

"Alright, princess, it's time to come with me-" the man exhaled exasperatedly, "COME ON, NOT AGAIN!" The anger in the man's voice was palpable, but you didn't let that deter your escape.

By the time the man had noticed your hurried departure you were already squeezing your body through the small gap under the wall. As your body wiggled to the other side you heard a loud crashing sound coupled with an irritated groan. You felt a hand try to grasp your tail, the calloused fingertips gripping onto a few long strands before pulling back with an enormous amount of force. An unfortunate but minor casualty, hopefully those few strands of fur would be the only loss today.

You wriggle your body through the makeshift tunnel, front paws clawing at the dusty ground in a hurried frenzy. After you've succeeded in pulling yourself out of the burrow, you immediately begin sprinting as fast as your tired body will take you. Muffled sounds of aggravation fade into the distance, replaced by the racing thoughts that intensify with every step you take.

I really hope I'm not too late, you think to yourself. Flashbacks from earlier today flood your mind, making your vision hazy. These haunting hallucinations aren't doing you any favors, but the closer you get to Kōtarō, the more intrusive these recollections become. You can feel your paws quivering, making your stride unsteady, but you force yourself to carry on.

So much blood. So red. The deepest and most oppressive red you'd ever seen.

The trees and bushes around you began to morph into a grotesque caricature, melting and mutating into a sea of aberrant crimson shapes. The scenery begins to make no sense, the contours of the landscape wrap in unnatural ways all across your field of vision. Your body feels as if it's moving through a vat of congealed molasses, each step becomes an onerous, almost insurmountable task.

The delirium overtaking your psyche slackens your pace to that of a staggered crawl. You lurch forward while bracing yourself on a nearby tree, you trip on some sort of unseen object, nearly capsizing in the process. The world around you begins twisting and spinning, and you stumble to the ground as you're overcome by an intense bout of vertigo.

"Hey, wait up!" The words sound so muffled, so far away and yet...

"I know you're over here, princess." The familiar yet austere timbre cuts through the crimson vortex swirling around you. "Don't think you can escape from Konoha's number one tracker."

The loud thud of someone landing right next to you startles you, but also serves as an anchor for your psyche. The scarlet-tinted penitentiary you found yourself trapped in begins to dissipate as you slowly look up to see the frustrated man shaking his head at you in disbelief.

"Listen here," he chastised in a harsh tone, "I don't want to do this any more than you do. But you can't just shoplift right in front of a police officer and expect me to look the other way. Kōtarō wouldn't let me hear the end of it if he saw what happened today."

Kōtarō.

Hearing that name dispels the trance that's been holding you captive. You shake your head a little as you steadily raise yourself from the ground, your frenzied panting slowing to a more normalized pace. You look up at the man admonishing you with an appreciative glance.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?" The man's voice is growing more agitated by the second, but there's no time to waste.

"I'm s-sorry," you stutter as you stand up on your hind legs, preparing yourself for one final transformation, "I'll explain everything later, I promise. I just have something I need to do first."

"Don't think I'll let you get away a third time. I won't-" the man's sentence cuts off as his jaw drops, a wave of bewilderment crashing over him.

And why wouldn't he be awestruck? You were equally as mystified the first time you witnessed the woeful yet magnificent transformation sequence.

Unlike a ninjutsu, there were no flashy hand signs or theatrics to accompany this transmogrification. The thick fur that once covered your entire body recessed, and the pale flesh underneath shone as it reflected the harsh wavelengths beating down on you from above. The juxtaposition of the man's sun-kissed skin with your pallid, moon-embraced skin was quite the stark difference to behold.

The sweltering but familiar pain associated with your transformation was positively excruciating today. Maybe it was because of the merciless onslaught of warmth of the mid-afternoon sun. Maybe it was because this was the fourth time in a day you'd shifted. Or perhaps it was because of your nervous system overload, spurred on by the extreme stress of the situation you found yourself in. Whatever the reason, it sure wasn't helping to have a witness to the heinous sin you were committing. Your entire entity was an affront to humanity. A paradoxical creation that should by all means, not exist in reality.

Before the burning in your bones could abate fully, you hurriedly reached into the bag strapped onto your back, rummaging for the wares you had swiped from the pet store. There was no time to take your satchel off and give it a thorough search. With intuition as a guide, you felt around in the bag, moving the supplies you needed most to the top of the pile. The unmistakable feel of the plastic pill bottle and the distinct rattling noise it made when you shook it afforded you a small comfort. Your preparations were now complete.

You were fairly close to your destination by now. You could smell the virulent odors that portended a gruesome truth, a harbinger of death that you were, unfortunately, very well acquainted with. Coexistence with humans always led to this outcome, without fail.

As you drew closer to Kōtarō's scent you noticed a glimmering sparkle next to some nearby bushes. Upon further inspection you recognize the familiar tattered pouch, its strained fibers taut from the weight of the shimmering coins inside. With one swift motion you reach down to grab the bag and then toss it towards the dumbfounded man who has been standing silently in place throughout the duration of your spectacle, without a doubt too astonished to make a move.

"That's what you wanted, right?" you ask, looking back over your shoulder for confirmation. "Well as you can see, or rather smell, I've got more important things to deal with right now. Just take the whole goddamn bag and leave me be, leave us be."

The man was too stunned to even catch the bag you so deftly threw in his direction. Instead it lay on the ground, coins spilling out onto the dirt in a haphazard fashion.

"Wait, miss. Please," the man broke his silence, rasping out his words in an uneven tone, "Let me help."

"Help?" you scoff while turning your body away fully. "That's rich coming from a man who tried to arrest me twice in one day. I don't need your help. We don't need you. So just take your savior complex and shove it up your-"

"Listen, miss," the man pleads as he walks towards you, "I might not be an observational genius like Shikamaru, but I do know a crime scene when I see one. And this," he mutters as he scans the surrounding area with a scrutinizing gaze, "is about as textbook as they get."

You could sense his persistence by the inflections in and tone of his voice. Every second spent arguing with him was a waste of precious time.

"Fine," you reluctantly concede. "You can follow me, but absolutely no touching anything. If I sense even a shred of ill intent, I won't hesitate to shred you into pieces." You flash your devilishly long nails in his general direction while you continue on your way.

An audible gulp followed by a succinct "Yes, ma'am," were the only things to leave the man's lips as he follows you through the thorny thickets.

You spryly weave through the underbrush, the only remaining obstacle standing between you and Kōtarō, with the man following closely behind you. As you emerge through the final bushes you're greeted with a smell that triggers the phantoms of your sordid past to claw their way to the surface once more.

They don't materialize fully though because you feel a brawny hand rest on your shoulder. "Hey," a voice calls out to you. The reverberating baritone keeping the spectres at bay.

"I know I agreed to not touch, but you look like you've seen a ghost, miss."

A quick shudder passes through your entire body, chasing the shadows of the past away, and the world regains its colorful luster once more. For the first time in years, perhaps even decades, you were grateful that there was a human by your side.

"I'll forgive you. This time," you meekly chirp out while taking the final steps towards your friend, hiding your flushed face from the man. "But don't press your luck. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a friend to save."

You squat down next to the mangled body of your beloved kin. The young pup that you'd instructed to keep pressure on the wound was still in the same position as before. This time, you think to yourself, I'm going to save him.

You reach into your satchel and pull out the pill bottle along with the gauze and medical tape. Sure, there were other equivalents to the bandages and adhesives that humans used, but there was just something about these strange, oblong pills that you couldn't replicate no matter how many medicinal plants you gathered.

"You did an amazing job, Hana. Now let me take over," your voice has a softness to it that lightens the mood, reassuring the bright-eyed whelp at your side while also setting your own nerves at ease.

As the pup moves over you take their position, putting a steady amount of pressure over the wound on your friend's leg with one hand. You rip open the package of gauze by using your sharpened nails, hastily pulling out a clump of bandages with the same swift motion. You then lift up your hand covering Kōtarō's wound so that you can place a copious amount of gauze in the area.

Now comes the tricky part.

You have to unfurl the medical tape with one hand while keeping pressure on Kōtarō's leg with the other. The unforgiving stickiness of the tape proves to be quite a formidable opponent for you today. As you struggle with the accursed adhesive, your impertinent spectator shares a proposition that would have enraged you if this tape wasn't already the focal point of your ire.

"You need some help there, princess?" You easily detect the conspicuous undertones of self-assured smugness in the timbre of his voice.

Me? Get help from a human? And why the heck does he keep calling me "princess"? You were disgusted with yourself, but you knew that if there was any situation where you should swallow your pride, this was it.

"Fine, I'll allow it," you spit out in exasperation.

"What was that? I couldn't quite catch what you said," a cheeky grin was forming on the man's face now as he held a hand up to his ear.

Absolutely. Infuriating. This is why you swore off talking with humans. If the situation wasn't so dire you would have slapped that cocky smile right off his gorgeous face. Where does he get off talking to you like that? Wait, gorgeous? How long has it been now since you've found a human genuinely attractive? Nevermind, you have more important things to do.

"You can help," the words meekly escaped your lips. Gone were the twangs of indignation, replaced instead with a humble submissiveness. You knew when to acquiesce. There was no way you'd be able to fix up your friend if you stubbornly held onto your pride.

"Come again? I can help? I guess I technically can," at this point he was practically jeering at you. "Now what do we say when we ask someone for something?"

The incessant taunting was driving you crazy. Your thin veneer of bravado crumbles under the weight of his gibes. You find yourself powerless against the barrage of quips, frustration growing at yourself due to your inability to shoot back an equally sassy retort.

"Can you..." the words were almost trapped in your throat, stifled by the fragile remnants of your bruised ego, "please help?"

"Alright, alright. I've had my fun," the man replied, his expression changing from jovial to serious as he continued on, "I'll handle cutting the medical tape, so you can just focus on keeping up the pressure on the wound."

You nod your head tacitly as you hand over the roll of tape to the man, your full focus now on Kōtarō. Before you know it, the sticky strands are partitioned off and are ready to secure the tightly packed gauze covering Kōtarō's laceration. After a cursory check to make sure the segments would fully wrap around his leg, you thoroughly patted down the tape in order to affix it.

Good, you thought to yourself, only one thing left to do.

You gingerly reach into your satchel and grab the bottle of pills, the glorious ambrosia of the gods that cured many an ailment. You didn't know what exactly was in those curious capsules, but you did know that they were a most reputable remedy that saved your clan members' lives numerous times over the years.

You shake out a few tablets into your hand.

"So those are the pills that cost more than a steak dinner for two?"

You'd almost forgotten that you had an audience today, and a boisterous one at that. As you lift your companion's head up and gently place the medication into his mouth, you look to your left to see this veritable enigma of a man flash you the most audacious smirk you'd ever seen.

"I guess that means I owe you dinner," you were surprised by how brazen and unabashed your words flowed out, "I always pay back my debts."

"It's a date then," a brilliant smile emanating out towards you, a gleaming radiance that comforts your weary nerves, "but, I do think you owe me some sort of explanation first."

And there it is. You let out a heavy sigh as you tenderly comb through the knotted hairs on Kōtarō's head with your fingernails, his body resting comfortably in your lap.

"Sure, let me just get him home first. He's had a very long day." You raise your eyes to meet the steely gaze of the stranger whose name you still don't know.

"Of course, but before you go, my princess," the man implored as he reached out to grab your hand, "can you at least answer one question for me?"

My princess? There he goes again, calling you princess. And what nerve to insinuate that you belong to him. You would normally be furious at the implication that you belonged to someone else, let alone a human, but there was just something about his complete disregard for decorum that ignited your carnal desires. Maybe it was because he reminded you of your old alpha, but no wait what are you thinking? There's no way a human could ever be your superior. That was inconceivable.

"Yes?" you answer in a perplexed tone, lost at sea in the endless ocean of your own thoughts, "What is it you want to know, mister...uh.."

"Kiba," he interjects abruptly, "My name's Kiba Inuzuka."

"Kiba Inuzuka," you repeat to yourself, commiting the name to memory. "So what is it you want to know, mister Inuzuka?"

"You can just call me by my first name, y'know. I don't mind," he responded while covering part of his flushed face with his hand, trying hard to obscure the fact that he was turning beet red. "So what's your name? Unless you don't mind me referring to you as my prin-"

"Izumi," you blurted out before he could finish his sentence. "Call me Izumi."

"Izumi, huh?" he looked off into the distance while still concealing part of his face with his hand. "What a pretty name. It's a pleasure to meet you, miss Izumi."

"Charmed, I'm sure," you say matter-of-factly. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat longer, but I have some pups I need to escort back home. I promise I'll be back as soon as they're safely settled in and squared away. Wolf's honor."

As you beckon Hana and carefully lift Kōtarō's feeble body off the ground you give Kiba a subtle nod, an implied promise of reunion, before setting off.

"I'll be waiting for you with bated breath, my princess Izumi," Kiba whispered to himself while watching the silhouette of your delicate figure slowly fade into the distance.

You'd be positively livid if you weren't so preoccupied. How dare he call you his princess again?

----- TO BE CONTINUED -----

PART THREE

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shirtlesssammy · 2 years

Text

The Winchesters 1x01: Pilot

*Quick disclaimer: We’re writing this recap in October of 2022. From all that we’re seen and read online, Carlos uses he/him pronouns, though the actor who plays him is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. If things change for the character, we’ll adjust accordingly. Just wanted to note this for future readers!*

Then:

Dean died, Cas died, Sam got a bad wig.

Now:

Even More Then:

New Orleans

March 1972

Indiana Jones Samuel Campbell finds the secret entrance to the catacombs through the mausoleum entrance adorned with the Men of Letters symbol.

He performs the blood ritual to open the door to doom, unleashing a creature that sends him running back through the cemetery like he’s being chased by a giant stone boulder. He trips, his flashlight skittering across the broken walkway, and the monster attacks.

Welcome to Lawrence, everyone! Our intrepid hero John Winchester misses the sign for home because he’s busy having war flashbacks on the bus. (we’renotgoingtohavesympathyforthisman, we’renotgoingtohavesympathyforthisman, we’renotgoingtohavesympathyforthisman) He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself and then pulls out an envelope with his name on it AND the Men of Letters symbol!

Ten Years After’s “I’d Love to Change the World” starts playing, and ALL our Jackles longcon spidey-senses kick into overdrive.

“March 23rd, 1972, the day Dad came home from the war.”

SCReamIng, FAinTing, DyING. DEAN IS BACK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Well, in voiceover for now. We watch John walk through Lawrence while Dean tells us he’s going to tell us his parents’ story in a way “that just might surprise [us].” The camera shows us Mary staring quite intently at a movie poster for THX 1138 (“The Future is Here”) before walking away and bumping into John. He’s smitten the moment they meet (So she knocks him flat on his metaphorical ass, I guess.) They talk about candy (GOD, future John, do you care SO little for Dean that you can’t even tell your candy loving son about the most important part of the meeting –THE CANDY?)

They have cute banter and Mary calls him Soldier Boy, which is a delightful wink to the world outside this one.

John walks to Winchester’s Garage, and has a heartfelt reunion with his mother. John grabs himself a beer. (“What? I’m legal now.”) Oh John, this is a path you don’t want to go down. They address the whole John wasn’t old enough to join the Marines situation. (He forged his long lost father’s signature.) And they clarify that he enlisted chasing after said long lost father. (Sidenote: Drake Rodger really has the Sam puppy face down cold!)

That night, John takes the note and an accompanying key to a mysterious address.

***DEMON alert!***

Well, John doesn’t know that yet, but once the eyes flash black and he gets picked up by his neck, he knows the guy isn’t Mr. Rogers.

With a sweep of the leg and a swish of the hair, Mary Campbell saves the day!

Or, she would if John wouldn’t keep getting in the way. He is truly the worst. She eventually dropkicks the demon into a vat of holy water so she can interrogate it in regards to the whereabouts of her father. The demon taunts her over a “Maggie” before Mary exorcises the smoke. I felt a pang of nostalgia hearing those words again.

“Hey, what was that? No, no, no. His eyes were black and then smoke –smoke just came out of his mouth.” Guys, John is NOT DEALING.

Mary and John play a game of “what are you doing here?” chicken, and Mary wins (because she’s already a badass). John fills Mary in on his mysterious Biff Tannen encounter. (WHO IS MESSING WITH THE TIMELINE??) This note was the first he’s heard from his father in 15 years (Spoiler John: He’s in the future, and dead.)

Mary leads John to a building labeled with another Men of Letters symbol and guarded with a devil’s trap. Mary needs John to use his key to open the door so she can keep searching for her father. Once inside, they head down a flight of winding stairs. Mary tells John she’s been a hunter of demons (and monsters) since she was a kid. John asks if she knew of Henry Winchester. “No, sorry.” “Maybe he was one of these paranormal freemasons.” “There’s no such thing.” The flirty, combative vibe is strong with these two. This whole episode is a rollercoaster of reconciling past emotions with current ones.

They stop flirting long enough to look around and see that they’re in a long abandoned room (a bunker, if you will). They start rooting around and John finds Henry’s locker. It’s been preserved in time. John tells the VERY DEPRESSING story about how when he was a kid, he thought there was a monster under his bed, and Henry told him not to worry, he knew how to trap it. (I AM NOT curled up in a ball crying over Sam’s own monster in the closet story. *crying noise**crying noise*) John grabs a bunch of Henry’s things and Mary miraculously finds the file she needs on her first try. Magic.

John keeps pestering Mary about what all of this means. They’re outside the movie theater again, and he asks for her name. She tells him that “you don’t want any part of this life.” She starts walking away and he tells her his name. She tells her soldier boy to go home, the camera panning up to show Slaughterhouse 5 on the marquee.

Lubbock, Texas

Ada Monroe, Samuel Campbell’s mysterious contact, looks over a document in her rare bookstore. The lights flicker. She grabs her anti-possession charm and runs, but trips and doesn’t have enough time to grab the charm again before she’s possessed! Sam and Dean getting tattoos was the smartest thing they ever did.

The next morning, John has a case! He wants to find Ada, the only woman who might have a lead on both their dads.

***Library Alert***

Mary takes John to their local library for research. “I need some iron and buckshot,” she tells the library worker behind the desk. They appear to know each other since Mary easily slides behind the desk. Latika meets John and we meet Latika (Lata to her friends.) Mary catches Lata up on Samuel’s recent shenanigans.

She tells her they’re heading to Lubbock to find out more. Lata wants to come but Mary vetoes her interest. She suggests having another hunter join –Carlos. Mary is VERY against that (Tupelo, and all.)

On the road, Mary’s driving and John has more war flashbacks. He remembers a moment when he tried saving his friend Murph’s life. Murph steps on a landmine anyway. John sees Murph sitting in the backseat of the car. Mary breaks up his PTSD attack and asks about it. He thinks he’s haunted, but she reassures him, with her EMF reader, that he is just suffering some good old fashioned serious war fatigue. Mary tells him she still sees all the people she couldn’t save. BONDING.

John and Mary make it to the bookshop, papers and the smell of sulfur everywhere, but no Ada. They hear someone call for Mary and they run outside to find a demon waiting.

Hello, Carlos! He hits the demon with his van and enters the scene like a boss.

Mary reluctantly introduces John to Carlos while Carlos grabs John for some serious hunter work. He shoots the demon with a water gun filled with holy water, sprinkles salt around the incapacitated demon, and tells John to recited the description of one delicious sandwich, oh wait, the exorcism script.

“Jimmi, Janice, Jim Morrison, Amen.” And with that, John(athon) performed his first exorcism.

They head back inside where John and Mary exchange not-quite-longing-stares. Ooh, la, la. (Ugh, I can’t, they’re really cute but the future weighs so heavy on them.) Mary is confused over how long her dad has been hunting alone.

Lata and Carlos look for clues and talk about Lata’s relative newness to hunting. We establish that Carlos is a free-wheeling bisexual man who shares Mary’s taste in men. (Eyeballs emoji) Lata finds a book open to a VERY IMPORTANT page. It illustrates the box Samuel was after and shows exactly how it works. So convenient!

The box is a ghostbusters backpack monster trap that sucks monsters in and kills them.

Carlos finds a slip of paper tucked into the book. Mary quickly realizes that her father scrawled coordinates that direct them to New Orleans. Mary demands the keys to Carlos’ van - and I feel emotions about John Winchester’s later first choice of vehicle being a minibus.

Lata pages through the book in the van, and explains how it works to Mary. She also establishes that Mary is protective about her friends. Lata is determined to search for Samuel out of a sense of obligation - Samuel saved her life. Mary wants Lata to just walk away and save herself. The ghost of Mary’s dead cousin rises between them (metaphorically).

In the back of the van, Carlos and John bond. Carlos quickly peels back his carefree exterior by revealing that his whole family was killed by ghouls - thus, his introduction into hunting.

For I’m in Love with Him Your Honor Science:

John bats his great big innocent eyes and asks if all hunters start out in tragedy. “The only thing worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends,” Carlos tells him. Fucking TRUTH, man.

The denizens of the Mystery Machine survey the cemetery.

Lata tries to soothe John’s (her) nerves. First hunts go GREAT. Being an amateur is the most effective armor you can find! John comforts her, and they bond while Mary looks on and tries to repress her emotions (#relatable).

John reveals that this is his second cemetery visit of the week. I question why he isn’t going to a cemetery EVERY day because cemeteries are cool. Er, anyway. We learn the story of Maggie - she was Mary’s cousin and a vampire killed her just as her life was starting. Mary didn’t sign up for the war hunt, but John sure did. (Natasha: I know that people are concerned about sweet little innocent baby John becoming beloved by audiences despite his later blatant child abuse and neglect. To them I say, the seeds of John’s destructive obsession have already been planted in this first episode, and we can love him and hurt for him and also very much hate him because the story exists real-time across all these timelines we’ve watched.)

Mary finds traces of her dad by a strange well cap, marked by Men of Letters symbology. They haul it open and drop a flaming torch down, down, down. “Is no one else weirded out by the fact that there’s a giant hole in the ground of an above ground cemetery?” Lata asks. I’d personally like to know about the MoL magical hydrology.

John and Mary hurl themselves down the pit. They definitely seem matched in recklessness! John picks up the torch from the wet stone floor, astoundingly still lit, and they try to pinpoint the alarming growl that echoes through the caverns.

Upstairs, Carlos reads symbols on the side of the well and then disappears on Lata. Er, oops.

John and Mary discover the mystical monster-eating box in the extremely elaborately crafted caverns. A monster - a loup garou - greets them with snarly drooly fangs. While John and Mary flee from it, Mary drops a little bit of “silver blade” lore - that’s how to kill it. John whips out a knife (NOT a silver blade) and cuts his friend’s necklace fragment from his skin while Mary looks on in astonishment, horror, etc.

John’s going to buy Mary time. He races off with his little bit of silver necklace, and Mary tears away for the mouth of the well.

Lata gets confronted by a demon-possessed Ada, but Carlos shows up just in time to squirt her with his never-fail water gun. Unfortunately, his water gun doesn’t fully de-mojo the demon and he gets magically chucked across the room. Mary hauls herself up the well, having passed her gym class rope course with flying colors.

John’s facing his end in front of the loup garou when Mary throws the knife down into a puddle of water down in the pit. Mary gets Lata to open the box. John finds the silver blade. And both baddies are quickly disposed of. John slices off the head of the loup garou without hesitation. Meanwhile, the demon gets magically sucked into the box. Yum yum!

Back at the garage, John’s mom goes through Henry’s things. John’s accusatory - he’s mad that his mom kept Henry’s secrets from her. She defends herself - she was just trying to build a good home for herself and her family. “I knew I would do anything to keep you safe,” she says. “Maybe one day when you have kids you’ll understand.” OUCH. ouch. John thinks his dad was trying to keep him safe, and clearly leans towards Henry’s mission. John hands his mom Henry’s letter and apologizes for not showing her HER HUSBAND’S last missive sooner. Yeah, that seems like some pretty typical John Winchester secrets shit.

John loves the mission - good versus evil. “Saving people, hunting things. I was born to do this.”

John’s all in on the hunting gig, and he joins Mary’s merry band. Lata and Carlos show up. Mary commends their work on the recent hunt. Mary Campbell hands out coffees to each of them like final roses. (She’s prepared their coffee in the way each of them likes it because she’s a magical sunflower.)

They meet with Ada, who tells them that Henry last visited her to find something to kill the Akrida. The Akrida are from another dimension (tentacle joke) and want to destroy everything in the world and take it for themselves. Samuel intended to use the box to stop the Akrida’s invasion. Mary takes the box, and her new group of hunters, and heads out across the country to fulfill her father’s mission.

Cut to Dean’s narration (third rewatch and I still get chills) telling us that the Akrida are a threat to all of existence. Dean’s investigating, taking notes, and being a VERY GOOD BEAN WHO I LOVE VERY MUCH. “There’s gonna be some surprises. Hell, I’m still trying to find all the puzzle pieces myself. But I’ll explain everything. And until then, I’ll keep picking the music.”

For I’ve Got Him, He’s Right Here Science:

(Boris: He's my best friend, he's my pal, he's my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy.)

Everybody, thank Dean Winchester for picking the music as we get played out of this episode by “I’d love to change the world,” by Ten Years After. YES. GOOD.

I’d Love to Quote the World:

I know this story might sound familiar. But I’m gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you. And in order to do that, I have to start all the way at the beginning.

Is it too late to ask for my licorice back?

Biiiiig freemason vibes

When I was a kid I thought there was a monster under my bed. My dad used to say, “Don’t worry, son. I know how to trap it.”

There’s no secrets in our family

She’s really a lot meaner when you get to know her

The only thing worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends

Is no one else weirded out by the fact that there’s a giant hole in the ground of an above ground cemetery?

Saving people, hunting things. I was born to do this

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#spnwin #the winchesters #spnwin recap #spnwin spoilers #spn #spnwin 1x01 #mary campbell #john winchester #carlos cervantez #latika desai #dean winchester #millie winchester #the winchesters season 1

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