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aquaquadrant · 2 months

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Philophobia

Word Count: 5,271 Warnings: Shipping, inappropriate/crude humor, paranormal activity, suspense/mild horror, descriptive kissing, mild language Summary: For architecture major and paranormal skeptic Grian, his friends’ after-hours ghost hunting group was just an excuse to spend time with his crush, Scar, without having to actually ask him out. But one fateful night, he finds there just might be things in this world that are scarier than emotional vulnerability… even if only by a very slim margin.

A/N: Did someone ask for a Phasmophobia-inspired Scarian au? Oh yeah, my friend @lunarcrown did! Inspired by the art she made here.

So this is kind of a modern-day college au (not set within the fictional universe of Minecraft), howEVER there are some fantasy aspects in that non-human species (like mob hybrids/monsters) still exist cuz they’re fun and I’m not giving anyone a normal modern name cuz that’s too weird. This is only Phasmophobia-inspired in that GIGS have a ghost-hunting group that functions the same way, but rarely find any conclusive evidence, and don’t have unlimited lives cuz they aren’t playing a game. With that out of the way, hope y’all enjoy, please reblog/comment if u do! - Aqua

~*~

Philophobia

~*~

“I think this is gonna be the one, guys,” Impulse says, turning their van into the driveway.

The suspension creaks as they roll over gravel, rattling the frame in a way that hums through Grian’s hollow bones. His arm is cold where it presses against the window; it’s almost sunset and Impulse has yet to get the van’s heater fixed despite his promises. Stupid demon blood keeping him warm while Grian shivers in the stupid custom pleather jumpsuit that Scar insisted they had made, for their stupid ‘brand’ as a stupid ghost-hunting group. Great, his stupid zipper’s come down again- he stubbornly zips it back up because unlike Scar, he doesn’t like constantly having his bare chest out on display.

Of course, he hasn’t got as much to show off as Scar, who must be getting up at 3 am every morning to work out in order to maintain all that muscle. No wonder Scar prefers to keep his zipper down to his belly button, and doesn’t seem to have ever met a shirt that fits him properly.

… Not that Grian’s ever paid much attention to that sort of thing.

Grian gives an exasperated sigh. “You’ve been saying that about every case we’ve had for three years!”

“No, no, I really mean it!” Impulse insists. “I feel it in my bones.”

“Yeah,” Scar agrees, leaning forward so his shoulder brushes against Grian’s, “you know Impulse bones good!”

The earnest nature of his statement- and the unexpected physical contact- makes Grian flush. “Scar!” he shrieks, swatting Scar’s shoulder.

“What?” Scar defends. “What, he- he’s got big and strong bones, wonderful bones…”

He acts as if he’s got no idea he said something that could be taken the wrong way. And if it weren’t for the upturned corners of his mouth and the barely-restrained laugh in his voice, Grian might actually believe him.

“Dude,” Skizz chuckles from the front seat, “shut up, that’s awesome.”

Impulse sighs. “Anyway,” he says pointedly, “the place recently had a change in ownership. Previous owner passed away-”

“From murder?” Scar gasps.

Another sigh. “No, from liver failure.”

Grian snorts. “From all the drinking he did to forget about the ghostly hauntings?” he presses, exchanging a cheeky grin with Scar.

“No,” Impulse says, with the patience of a saint, “just normal old-age organ failure. The guy was ancient, and some kinda recluse. House had been in his family since it was built, but uh, he had no living relatives, no will when he died. So the bank took ownership and it’s been sitting off-market for like, fifteen years, til some hot-shot investor thought he could flip it-”

“Ughh,” Grian groans, tipping his head back against the seat. “Investors are the worst-”

“I know, I know,” Impulse soothes, “but um, he’d barely begun when things started happening. Contractors reported it day one, then the owner experienced an event himself and called us. So it’s basically still untouched.”

They haven’t even reached the end of the driveway yet, passing by seemingly endless rows of tall, gnarled pines. Admittedly, Grian’s curiosity is piqued. When he agreed to join this stupid ghost hunting group three years ago, he didn’t do so in the hopes of actually discovering any real paranormal activity. The whole idea is laughable. Ghost hunting is a pseudoscience, at best. Just a bunch of idiots scaring themselves silly in an empty house- and now they’re the idiots! Even their name is stupid: Ghost Investigation Group Services, or GIGS, embroidered on their ill-fitting pleather jumpsuits.

But despite his outright skepticism and dislike for pulling late nights in his already extremely limited free time, Grian’s got one very good reason for agreeing to join.

And his name is Scar.

Grian spent half a semester pining away at the fellow architecture major from across the lecture halls of their many shared classes. Charismatic and easy on the eyes, it was inevitable that Grian would develop a bit of a crush. But as they spent more time together during class projects and conversations in the hallway, he found out just how kind-hearted and passionate Scar was, and how easy he was to talk to, and how strong his arms looked in long-sleeved shirts…

… Yeah, ‘crush’ perhaps isn’t the right word.

So when Impulse- the engineering major who Grian was partnered with for physics lab- got the brilliant idea to start a ghost-hunting group with his best friend and roommate Skizz, and Scar expressed interest in joining, Grian made a split-second decision in a moment of weakness. He maintained his skepticism, claiming that he wanted to tag along just to prove how silly the whole idea was. Impulse was fine with it, while Scar said Grian had to wear the same uniform as them, and the rest was history.

(To be fair, that was before Grian knew it’d be a pleather jumpsuit.)

So here they are now nearly three years later, rumbling down a long gravel road in the dark and cold, up late on a Saturday night even though he still isn’t finished with his condominium model that’s due at 8 am on Monday and he’s fresh out of popsicle sticks. Moments like these almost make Grian wish he could just ask a guy out like a normal person, so they could spend time together without chasing pretend ghosts around dusty houses all night.

But that’d require him to talk about his feelings. Ugh, he’d rather let the ghosts get him.

“Alright.” Impulse slows the van to a halt. The doors unlock with a heavy clunk. “What do you guys think?”

Grian isn’t expecting much when he glances out the window. But the sight that greets him immediately prompts a hasty exit from the vehicle, scarcely noticing the sudden chill, his jaw dropping open in awe.

It’s a Victorian. Not a house that someone has mistakenly called ‘Victorian’ just because it looks old. A genuine, honest-to-goodness, Queen Anne’s style two-story Victorian manor with an asymmetrical facade and a rounded corner tower and a generous wrap-around porch, silhouetted against the fading light of the evening sky.

Grian reaches for his flashlight. Sweeping over the exterior, his breath catches. Knots of ivy creep up the walls, and there are a few places where the intricate wood trim has been lost to previous repairs and weather damage. A couple of the windows are bricked up. Most of the paint is faded and peeling. But overall? It’s beautiful.

“Oh man,” Grian murmurs, pushing his glasses back up, “look at the shape of it... look at the dormers!”

A second beam of light joins in; Scar’s emerged from the van. “Lots of character,” he says, sounding similarly entranced. “And still in great condition! Oh, it’s beautiful. It’s enough to make a man cry.”

Impulse hops out of the driver’s seat, chuckling. “I knew you two would like it. It’s an ‘85.”

Grian gives an appreciative whistle. “Look, I still don’t think we’re gonna find anythin’,” he says with a sideways look at Scar, “but I gotta tell ya… if- if I were a ghost… I think I’d haunt a proper house like this. Not those builder-grade boxes in the suburbs.”

“Right?” Impulse says, his forked tail flicking through the air. “That’s what I’m sayin’... I uh, I think this place has real potential.”

Skizz, who’s come around the van to stand with them, nods thoughtfully. “Definitely somethin’ special ‘bout it, that’s for true,” he says, exchanging a look with Impulse. Then he claps his hands together. “Alright gentlemen, let’s get movin’!”

Impulse and Skizz turn towards the van, heading to open the back.

Grian stares after them, squinting suspiciously. That wasn’t just any look. That was a Look. A Look that he knows all too well. They had that same Look on their faces at last year’s frat mixer, when they rigged the speakers at the Heta Kappa house to play ‘Margaritaville’ every time someone flushed a toilet.

It means that they’re Up To Something.

… Grian’s sure he’ll find out sooner or later.

“Well, Grian,” Scar says, hands on his hips as he surveys the property, “if it’s any connotation, at least we’ll get to study some real architecture tonight.”

Grian gives him a bemused look. “Consolation?”

Scar blinks. “Cono- what, what’d I say? Con- coronation?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, ey,” Grian chuckles, patting him on the shoulder. “Let’s go.”

~*~

“Check it out, dude,” Skizz calls excitedly, “temp’s dropping in here! Five degrees colder than the rest of the house!”

Grian makes a noncommittal noise. “It’s an east-facing room and the sun’s only just set, of course it’s colder than the rest of the house,” he says, idly passing his UV glow stick over an armchair. No prints, of course. “I doubt they’ve updated the insulation anytime within the last two decades.”

“And hey, look,” Impulse chimes in from the corner, “I’ve got EMF 1.3!”

Grian doesn’t even look up. “There’s an exposed outlet in here and I’ll bet the wiring’s older than I am. And in any case, it’s still below the recommended threshold.” Ew, okay, now that’s a suspicious UV stain on the floor, but not of the supernatural kind…

“Oh, it’s definitely not up to code,” Impulse agrees. He waves his EMF reader around a bit, making the pitch warble. “But I dunno, I think this must be the ghost’s favorite room. Might not be here right now, but I’m getting some real vibes…”

Grian rolls his eyes. “Sure…”

Twenty minutes in, and despite the house’s hauntingly elegant construction, it’s been the same old story. The house is empty and quiet, as abandoned houses tend to be. Quite sparse, as most of the furnishings probably went to auction. The furniture that’s left is covered with tarps and every surface is coated with a fine layer of dust. He can smell mold somewhere in the floorboards and there’s apparent water damage in the ceiling.

The only renovation attempted thus far was the removal of some cheap linoleum tiles that were laid in the kitchen at some point- a renovation Grian can heartily agree with, there’s some absolutely gorgeous hardwood underneath- but they didn’t get far. The removed tiles are still sitting about in a haphazard pile, hammer and chisel abandoned on the floor beside them. Frantic footsteps smeared in the dust and powder paint the scene of a terrified contractor fleeing for their life from the reported ‘ghostly hauntings’.

In any case, they haven’t heard any activity from the spirit box, nothing unusual has stood out on UV, and the salt Impulse laid out is still undisturbed. Surprise, surprise. Grian’s spent most of his time admiring the elaborate wooden trims lining every wall, scuffed as they are. What he wouldn’t give to properly restore this place…

“Hey, Dipple Dop?” Skizz calls suddenly. “Your radio working okay?”

Impulse gives him a curious look. “Huh? What, is there-” He pauses, glancing down at his radio. “Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, actually, mine’s on the fritz, must be overdue a battery change.”

“Oh?” Grian tilts his head innocently. “You don’t think it’s a ghoooost?”

Impulse purses his lips. “I don’t think everything is a ghost,” he says mildly. He clips the radio onto his belt, turning to the door. “I’ve got extras in the van, hang on…”

“I’ll go, too,” Skizz says quickly, slinging an arm and his wing around Impulse’s shoulders. “Buddy system! You know what, I- I’m tellin’ you, you never split up when hunting ghosts. That’s how they get you, dude.”

Oh. Oh, no.

Grian gives them a warning Look.

They give him a cheeky Look back.

“Yup, yeah, that’s true,” Impulse says with obvious feigned sincerity, steering Skizz out of the room. “So uh, you two keep at it, okay, and we’ll be right back…”

“Oh, okay!” Scar says cheerfully, busy setting up the tripod over in the corner and completely oblivious to their scheme. “Have a great time not getting murdered!”

Grian opens his mouth to protest, but Impulse and Skizz are already gone out the front door. Leaving him and Scar completely alone. Totally by coincidence, surely. Oh, he knew his drunken confession to Impulse at the school’s annual bar crawl fundraiser night would come back to bite him eventually.

It’s almost insulting, in a way. Like they think the only reason Grian hasn’t made a move is because he hasn’t had ample alone time with Scar. Like he needed them to give him an opportunity. But if he’d wanted to confess to Scar, he already would have. He’d have had it well done by now. They could give him a little credit.

See, the thing is, he’s thought about it. Plenty of times, in fact. But the issue he keeps coming back to is that if he tells Scar about his crush on him, then Scar will know about it. There’ll be no going back at that point. And if Scar doesn’t feel the same way- well, Grian can kiss their friendship goodbye. So yeah, no, he doesn’t think he’ll be making any dramatic love confessions tonight, strangely enough.

The risk of an awkward silence developing is astronomical, so Grian clears his throat. “Man… isn’t this place somethin’,” he says, then immediately fights the urge to cringe.

Scar, luckily, gives an emphatic nod. “It is, it truly is amazing.” He straightens up, dusting his hands off as he turns to Grian. “You know who’d really love this place, is Gem?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Grian agrees. He busies himself with the UV, so he’s not just standing around. “We should take some pictures for her.”

“Oh, good idea!” Giving the tripod a final once-over, Scar wanders over to Grian. “So, any fingering goin’ on, yet?”

Grian nearly drops his glow stick. “Sorry- any what?!” he screeches, whirling around on Scar.

“You know, ghost fingers!” Scar says, perfectly innocent. He holds his hands up, wiggling his fingers in demonstration. “On the- on the glowy light?”

Grian takes a deep breath, face burning. “Oh Scar, buddy, you gotta think through your words better before you say them, alright?”

“Whaaat?” Scar pretends like he doesn’t know. “What, I’m just- you’ve got the stick, you know, little glow stick for when the ghost touches, uh-”

“Nevermind,” Grian groans. “Anyways, no, I haven’t found any ghostly handprints and I never will, because ghosts aren’t real.”

Scar folds his arms. “Well, hey, maybe the ghost is just polite! You know, he- maybe he’s just minding his business, not touching anything or- or anyone. Just because we don’t get anything on UV doesn’t mean ghosts aren’t real, I’ll have you know.”

Grian sees the challenge for what it is. “Alright…” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his spirit box. Holding the transponder to his lips, he belts out, “Where ahhre yewww?” in his best imitation of an over-exaggerated pop-punk accent. If Impulse and Skizz are eavesdropping through their radios, he hopes he gave them a start.

Scar laughs. “Oh man, been a while since I heard that one! You-”

I’m close.

Grian jumps so badly he nearly drops the box, his wings puffing out involuntarily. “What?! Wha- who said that?” he demands, spinning around.

Scar blinks at him. “What? Did you hear something through the box?”

“I- I dunno?” Grian says uncertainly. The box seems to be working as normal; when he holds the receiver down, there’s a faint hiss of static, and the bulb remains white. No further noises come from the speaker.

After a couple seconds of tense listening, Grian feels silly. Way to play it cool. He switches the box off with an exasperated sigh. “No, of course I didn’t hear anything through the box. Like I said, ghosts aren’t real.”

Scar hums noncommittally. “Oh, Grian... you know, there are some things in the world that can’t be explained.”

Grian snorts. “Oh, yeah? Well, I- I got a few explanations for ya.” He counts on his fingers. “It could’ve been this old house creaking in the wind, or an electrical surge causing feedback through the transponder, or- or, not to mention, Impulse and Skizz pranking us through the radio?”

Scar snickers. “That does sound like something they’d do, I’ll give you that.”

“Yeah.” Grian slips the box back into his pocket. “And y’know, being in a creepy abandoned house, after dark, out in the middle’a nowhere... it’s easy to think you’re hearin’ things.”

Scar rolls his eyes, but his expression is fond. “I know, I know, so you’ve told me. But one of these days, mister, you’re gonna eat your words.”

“Right,” Grian drawls. “I’m so scared…”

The front door slams shut.

That makes Grian pause. They always leave the front door open while out on a job. It saves time when they have to go back and forth from the van, and saves battery life on their radios when they can just shout to each other through the open doorway. Obviously this job is a little different, because Impulse and Skizz have clearly got it in their heads to try and get him and Scar together, but he wouldn’t think they’d go so far as to-

The lights suddenly flicker and go out. But in the split-second before they do, Grian sees a shadowy figure silhouetted against the door.

Pure instinct takes over. Grian spins on his heel, grabs Scar by the arm, and absolutely flies down the stairs to the basement. He knows they’ve disturbed one or two piles of salt but right now, he can’t bring himself to care. His wings are bumping against the walls and he’s certainly never tried carrying someone as big as Scar before but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t even process the ache of it rattling through his body. He bursts into the basement, feathers flying, and careens towards the back of the room, around a tall shelving unit, and into the corner.

There’s a heap of boxes stacked up in this corner; Grian unceremoniously shoves Scar over top of them, dropping him in the narrow space between the boxes and the wall. He’s wedged in as far as he can himself, laying across the boxes, his double pair of wings preventing him from squeezing in beside Scar. He’s still got the UV light clenched in his fist, he realizes belatedly- he braces his forearms against the wall to try and cover it, fanning his wings out behind him to block it out from the rest of the room. Glancing back over his shoulder, he tries to gauge how much light is getting through when a noise makes him freeze.

Footsteps.

They’re soft and light- certainly not the heavy boots of Impulse or Skizz. No, they sound almost barefoot. And as they gently tap down the stairs, the sound of giggling fills the air. It’s a feminine voice. Young, like a child. Like a little ghostie girl is prancing down the stairs to murder them.

Grian thinks he might pass out. Can ghosts actually kill people? How would they do it if they’re incorporeal? He’s never considered the question before, he never thought he’d have to because it’s ridiculous, ghosts aren’t real, of course they can’t kill people-

The footsteps stop.

Grian isn’t sure if he’s still breathing. He doesn’t dare move. A chill runs up his spine, making every single feather stand on end. He can almost hear the high-pitched violins that would be playing right now if this were a horror movie; the cheesy, overdrawn kind of horror movies that are always playing at the drive-in that the four of them watch while piled into the back of the van in a tangle of limbs and spilled popcorn and oh god he’s spiraling now because he’s about to be killed by a ghost-

Bye-bye!

The chill recedes. Somewhere in his peripheral vision, he sees the faint glow of light from upstairs return.

It’s over.

Grian’s mind is spinning. What was that? What was that? It seems impossible, it doesn’t even feel real to be in this situation right now but he is, there was a ghost, there was a ghost. It feels insane to even think it. But the residual adrenaline coursing through his body reminds him it was very real, he just encountered a ghost.

A ghost! Oh, after three years of very loudly decrying the entire concept as rubbish. He can’t believe it. He really can’t believe it, this is the absolute last thing he expected to happen tonight. Ghosts are real. Ghosts are really, really, real. He doesn’t know what to do, who would ever believe him? Is this how the others have been feeling this whole time? God, he can’t believe this-

“G...?” Scar’s voice pipes up hesitantly. “What... what are we doing?”

Oh, right. Grian glances down at Scar- and his heart jolts. He’d been so focused on getting away from the ghost, he’d acted without thinking, so only now does he realize the... predicament he’s put them in.

Scar’s slumped against the floor beneath him, head tucked just below Grian’s arms. His long legs are still draped over the box that Grian’s laying across, resting on either side of his waist. And due to the odd posture Grian’s in, his chest has been thrust rather close to Scar’s face, lit by the soft purple glow of the UV.

This is probably the closest Grian has ever been to sitting in Scar’s lap.

Grian’s not proud of the yelp that escapes him. “Sorry, sorry!” His wings flail as he struggles to push himself off of the wall, stumbling back onto his feet. It’s clumsy and uncoordinated and he nearly falls backwards, his heart pounding.

Scar manages a laugh, easing himself up off the floor. “No, no, it’s okay, I- I just... what- why’d you bring us down here?” he asks, dusting off his jumpsuit.

Grian catches his breath. “Wait, you... didn’t hear the creepy ghost on its way to kill us?” he asks, frowning.

Scar‘s eyes widen. “What? There was a ghost?”

No way.

“Are you-!” Grian throws his arms up. “Honestly, I- I know avians have better hearing than most but that’s insane. She was laughing! Laughing and skipping down the blumin’ steps! And you didn’t hear any of it?”

“No…?” Scar shrugs helplessly. “I’m sorry, okay! I- I don’t know, I was- a lot was happening, you- you’re grabbin’ me, pulling me down the stairs and into this little corner, I didn’t know what was going on! I didn’t know, I- I was all disconbodulated- disco- bobo, bobumated? I was a little distracted, okay. Jeeze, give a man a break…”

“Distracted?” Grian repeats incredulously. “You’re the one who actually believes in ghosts, here, how could you get distracted? What do you…”

He trails off. Scar is very clearly fighting to avoid looking at Grian, but for the briefest moment, his eyes dart down to Grian’s chest. Suddenly confused, Grian follows his gaze, and-

Oh, for goodness sakes. At some point during his frantic flight, the stupid zipper on his stupid jumpsuit came down again, exposing a frankly scandalous amount of skin. Not Scar-level of scandalous, but pretty close.

Grian immediately feels himself turn red. “Oh. Uh- right,” he hastily pulls the zipper back up, “sorry ‘bout that…”

Wait. Wait just a second.

Scar was distracted from a literal ghost hunt going on... because Grian’s bare chest was showing? Does that... does that mean he liked it?

Scar’s avoiding his gaze again. His cheeks are tinted pink.

“Scar...?” Grian ventures carefully. “Were you... lookin’ at my chest?”

Scar’s cheeks darken. “Ah, I- I- don’t- I mean, why would you- I didn’t mean to, it’s just...” He fumbles for the words. “What- what am I- hey, your pecs were basically in my face! I wasn’t trying to look, I- I just-”

“Scar,” Grian says, keeping his voice light and teasing, “did ya… did you like what you saw?”

Scar splutters for a moment. “Well, sure, Grian,” he tries to laugh it off, “I mean, anyone- anyone with eyes can see you’re uh, you know, you’re- you’re pretty attractive. I- I’m secure enough to say it, I don’t care, it’s- sure, of course, you’re very muscular! You’re a- you’re a muscular man, it’s just not always obvious with the sweaters you wear. Or- sorry, you call them jumpers in Britain land, right, they’re jumpers-”

“You been checkin’ me out, Scar?” Grian asks, caught somewhere between playfulness and utter disbelief.

“Uh...” Scar rubs the back of his neck. He exhales slowly, clearly debating with himself. “I... maybe? What... what would you say... if that were the case?”

Grian swallows. His heart is absolutely racing now, and he’s broken into a cold sweat that’s definitely not supernatural in origin. The air between them feels fragile; he’s acutely aware that a single word from him could swiftly plunge them back into the realm of safe familiarity, of casual light-hearted teasing between friends. Scar’s always said things that bordered on the flirtatious, and Grian can hide behind the plausible deniability of teasing. This entire interaction doesn’t have to mean anything. It can be easily moved past and forgotten.

And yet, strangely enough… Grian doesn’t want it to. Maybe it’s the post-haunting adrenaline or the fact that he could’ve died tonight, but all of a sudden, he feels like taking a chance. Like he could finally say what he’s wanted to say for the last three years. He managed to hold his own against a blumin’ ghost, for goodness sakes- he should be able to face his own feelings head on.

He takes a breath. “I’d say that’s a relief… ‘cause I’ve been checkin’ you out since day one of first year.”

Scar stares at him for a long moment. His expression is utterly unreadable. The silence draws on long enough that Grian feels a spike of panic, worried that maybe he’s mishandled the situation-

“... oh my god,” Scar says finally. “Really?”

It sounds like the good kind of surprise. Grian offers a shy smile. “Yeah, yeah,” he admits. “I- Scar, I know I’m real good at playin’ these things close to the vest, but uh, I- I’ve had a massive crush on you since... basically since the day we met.”

“Huh.” Scar blinks. “You’re serious. You- you’re not pranking me right now?”

That startles a laugh out of Grian. “No! Scar, I don’t- we just survived being hunted by a ghost, I’m not pranking you!”

“Well, that’s- that’s amazing!” A grin spreads across Scar’s face- and man, oh man, does he have just the most wonderful smile. “Oh my gosh, G, I don’t- you don’t even know how long I’ve been waiting for this.”

The relief is almost overwhelming. “Yeah, me too!” Grian laughs, half-dazed and half-giddy, running a hand through his hair. “I- I even- look, the whole reason I even joined this group was as an excuse to hang out with you!”

Scar’s mouth falls open. “No way! That’s- that’s the whole reason I joined in the first place, too!”

Now it’s Grian’s turn to gawk. “Are you joking?”

“I’m not!” Scar insists, “I swear, I’m not- Impulse said he wanted to start the group and maybe we’d all join and get to hang out and I thought ‘hey, ghosts are cool and Grian is cool’ so I just-”

“Oh, I can’t believe this…” Grian groans, hiding his burning face in his hands. “We really are idiots, we’ve wasted nearly three years…”

Scar’s hands close around Grian’s wrists, lightly pulling them down from his face. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time,” he says smoothly, leaning in.

Corny, but Grian will allow it. He closes the gap, tilting his head up to meet Scar’s lips.

In that moment, everything else fades away. All the nervousness, all the second-guessing, even the bombshell discovery of the existence of ghosts- there could be one standing in front of them right now and Grian wouldn’t care. The way Scar gathers Grian in his arms, hands gently roving through his feathers- it’s bliss. It’s perfect.

Scar kisses him strong and purposefully, with no trace of carelessness or haste. He doesn’t rush. There’s intent written into every single movement, jaw working to deepen the kiss. Grian curls against him, hands splayed across Scar’s chest. He can feel Scar’s heart pounding through his flushed skin, and it’s wildly exciting- to think Scar is just as breathless as he is.

Growing bold, Grian dares to slip his tongue into Scar’s mouth, and the noise he makes- part surprise, part delight- sends pure electricity fizzling up his spine. His mind is starting to drift away from him, lost in the sensation of weightlessness, of floating, that almost makes him feel like he’s gone completely incorporeal- like his own spirit has become untethered from the mortal coil.

Then Skizz’s voice comes down the stairs.

“G-Sharp! Scarface! You down here? We just saw a freaking ghost on the cams, and- oh my god!”

Grian breaks away from Scar, but not quick enough. He turns to see Skizz and Impulse standing at the bottom of the stairs, expressions shocked. And then, as if they’d rehearsed it, they both break into massive shit-eating grins and spin around to high-five each other.

“Woo!” Impulse cheers. “We got ‘em! Ladies and gentlemen, we finally got them.”

“Yeah, baby!” Skizz pumps his fist in the air. “Oh, I love it!”

“Oh, would you two stop it?” Grian huffs, but he’s not really cross. Hard to be cross when he’s on cloud nine. “The ghost did most of the work, alright?”

“That’s right,” Scar sniffs, winding an arm around Grian’s waist. “You know, I- I’m startin’ to think you all were in cahoots! Cahoots, I say!”

“Dude, if only,” Skizz laughs, walking over to clap them on the shoulders. “Could not have planned it better, that’s amazing. Well done, gentlemen!”

“Yeah, it’s about time!” Impulse adds, crossing his arms. “I was starting to think we’d graduate before either of you fessed up, I- I had to take drastic measures…”

“Impulse,” Grian says warningly, “if you’re about to tell me you started this whole paranormal investigation group just as a way to push me and Scar into confronting our feelings, I swear-”

“No, no,” Impulse assures him, chuckling. “I really do like the ghost-hunting deal, don’t worry. But uh, we did deliberately ditch you guys in the hopes that something would happen.”

Scar waggles his eyebrows. “Oh, things happened, alright.”

“Scar!” Grian swats at him, but he’s laughing and it feels good. It feels right. After all this time spent worrying about worst-case scenarios, about denying his feelings for the sake of maintaining the comfortable mundanity of his comfortable life, it turns out the scariest part was the fear itself.

The irony doesn’t escape his notice. A bit on the nose, if he’s honest.

“But in even bigger news,” Impulse graciously continues, “you saw the ghost? And you believed it? You, Mr. Non-Believer in all things ghostly?”

Grian sighs. “Yeah, yeah, I know…”

“This is incredible!” Skizz claps his hands together. “Okay, okay, we gotta go cleanse the area and I wanna hear everything, got it? Don’t leave a single detail out!”

Grian slips his hand into Scar’s as they follow Impulse and Skizz back up the stairs. “Yeah, alright,” he relents. He supposes he’s due for a lot of ‘I told you so’s’. But really, it’s a small price to pay for the life-altering knowledge that ghosts are real… and for finally finding the courage to believe in something extraordinary.

Scar hums. “Wait, details about the ghost or about the kissing?”

“Scar!”

~*~

#hermitcraft #hermitshipping #scarian #my writing #listen i am only a casual phasmo enjoyer and idk anything about architecture school pls don't come for me abt any inaccuracies #just here for a good gay spooky time #wanted to see if i'd be any good at writing commissions (ie. solely based off someone else's idea) and i had FUN #but it's always easy to be inspired by mel <3

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hosannan · 9 months

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TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: you!

Name: Annie

Pronouns: she/her or he/him

Birthday (no year): January 12

Where are you from? What is your time zone? California! PST normally! I go to school in the AST timezone

Roleplay experience: 11 years :softsmile: been RPing since I was 15!! Fun fact: I used to have adverse feelings to RP because I used to have friends on youtube before when people used to have personal profiles and talk to each other on there. Then all my friends became Mario RP blogs. (clenches fist) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE LUIGI NOW

Got any pets? Nope! I shouldn’t have a pet for their sake

Favorite time of year: Winter! Absolutely love it

Some interests and things you like: Farming games! Otomes! Arting once every couple of months. Medicine. I have a fascination of learning just about anything, so one week I could be crocheting, the next week I could be learning about how to respectfully taxidermy a friend’s pet. I also really like punk rock

Some funfacts & trivia about you:

I’m quite shy IRL, and I tend to enjoy isolation! Lots of friends have noted the difference between my online self and my IRL self

I picked up metalsmithing (lost-wax casting specifically) and have made some really gaudy, big jewelry pieces.

I enjoy sparring/physical combat/wrestling. It translates into my combat writing

I used to perform! Played the violin for more than a decade. (am not good at it but love it all the same)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Story of Seasons, Rune Factory, Jack Jeanne, Fata Morgana

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: Psychic, Espeon

How did you get into Fire Emblem? My best friend asked me to buy him Awakening for his birthday! In exchange he bought me Awakening a little later :)

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Just Awakening, actually! Hahaha, whoops.

First Fire Emblem game: Awakening!

Favorite Fire Emblem game: To be completely fair, none? But from a writing point of view, I love Shadows of Valentia the most

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 Stahl! Thank god for our initally loveless marriage

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: Chrom, then immediately Stahl (x4) - Fates: I’ve never played passed the introduction, but Silas or Takumi if I had to make that choice. - Three Houses: Haven’t played, but Shamir! - Engage: TBD

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Dark Flier/Mage/Pegasus Knight

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? Villager! Or (friend assigned) sage, most likely?

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Black Eagles

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? Celica! :soft smile: I think Soren (strategy conversations) and Leif (fighting affinity) would also be plausible

How did you find TOA? Chuu!

Current TOA muses: Nanna, Quan, Henry

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Lukas :softsmile: He’s in good hands! I do love him as a muse very much too

Have you had any other TOA muses? Lukas, Gerome, Frederick

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? No type preference. More than anything, I like three specific voices that completely contrast each other. I also like difficult characters to work with :) (i.e. few lines, strange personalities, discontentment with character’s in-game choices, not many personal bonds)

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? Motion! Fighting, dancing, moving around. I also, and this is a very silly thing to say, have a tendency to absolutely love my partners’ writing in general. I get very engrossed with how to gel with my partner, and make the writing mesh together. I like referencing old threads, old dialogue lines, completing sentences or thoughts that were left in the cursory. I also enjoy personalizing a character’s narration or writing style based on their mind set.

Favorite TOA-related memory: Unlocked 2021, my beloved! That event mentally sent me on a loop

How do you pronounce TOA? T-O-A (cheerleader vc)

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day that you’d like to share? Alm, Gerome, Conrad, Dwyer, Tsubaki, Ishtar, Kellam, Donnel etc etc August. Manfroy. God I want NPC slots. That said I'm happy with my selection thus so far :)

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ivykrystos · 3 years

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Q&A- 100 Personal Questions

Leave me questions in my Inbox I haven’t interacted here in a long time but I want to

1. What’s your philosophy in life?

2. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

3. Are you religious or spiritual?

4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

5. Which parent are you closer to and why?

6. What was the best phase in your life?

7. What was the worst phase in your life?

8. Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?

9. What makes you feel accomplished?

10. What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

12. Are you more into looks or brains?

13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

15.If you died tomorrow, what would you wish you had done?

16. What kind of parent do you think you will be?

17. What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?

18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?

19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes?

20. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

22. What’s an ideal weekend for you?

23. Can you pin point the moment in your life where you were the happiest?

24. Do you judge a book by its cover?

25. Are you confrontational?

26. When was the last time you broke someone’s heart?

27. Would you relocate for love?

28. Did you ever write a journal?

29. What are you most thankful for?

30. Do you believe in second chances?

31. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

33. What did your past relationship teach you?

34.Why did you cry the last time you did so?

35. Is home for you a place or a feeling? Describe that place or describe that feeling.

36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?

37. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?

38. If you could be anywhere other than where you are right now, where would you be and what would you be looking at?

39. What’s your biggest regret in life?

40. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?

41. Does your job make you happy?

42. What did you want to be when you were younger?

43. Why did your last relationship end?

45. What’s been your biggest mistake so far in life and what did you learn from it?

46. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go?

47. What are your top five favorite movies?

48. What are some of your favorite songs?

49. What qualities do you admire about your parents?

50. How would you describe your best friend?

51. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone?

52. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?

53. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?

54. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?

55. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

56. Do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares?

57. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

58. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?

59. What is your greatest fear?

60. What are three things you value most about a person?

61. Who are five people you are closest with?

62. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?

63. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

64. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year?

65. Do you believe more in fate or that we are the creators of our own destinies because we are governed by free will?

66. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today?

67. How do you define art?

68. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

69. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

70. Who was your favorite teacher and why?

71. What sport did you fall in love with?

72. If you could have the option of eradicating pain from your life would you choose to do so? Why or why not?

73. What was your longest relationship?

74. What would your best friend say is your best quality?

75. If you could be given the date of your death would you want to know it?

76. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be and why?

77. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be?

78. What food could you not live without?

79. Dogs or Cats?

80. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested?

81. What was your best birthday?

82. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do?

83. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been?

84. What was the last book you read? And When?

85. If you were given a chance to explore the oceans, go to outer space or visit 50 different countries, which one you choose and why?

86. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years?

87. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far?

88. If you could get away with anything that you do?

89. Out of the negative emotions of greed, anger, jealousy and hate, which one would you say affects you the most?

90. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

91. Has another’s pain ever given you joy? Be totally honest.

92. If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, would you get in?

93. Do you believe in fate?

94. If you had to pick one, what is the most important value you would teach your children? Honesty, Kindness or Courage?

95. If you had the ability to erase something that you did in the past, what

would it be?

96. What song makes you unconditionally happy?

97. Name the one worst quality you cannot tolerate in a partner.

98. What fictional character do you most relate to?

99. If you got a free cheque for $5,000 right this second, how would you use it?

100. What is your biggest irrational fear? 101. Anything else you can think of! feel free to reblog and have your followers ask you the same things

#qna #q&a #100 personal questions #100 questions #ask box #inbox #ask me

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a-froger-epic · 3 years

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Get out your glitter leotards and pour some champagne in your cat mugs! 🥂 🍾 It’s time to celebrate Freddie! 🎉😸

🎊 Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 🎊

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

ABOUT THE EVENT

This weekend is a content creation event in honour of the man himself, the legend we all love, Freddie Mercury! Once more, everyone who is inspired by Freddie is invited to share their creativity with the fandom. You can write, draw, edit, record, even cross-stitch 😉 content for absolutely anything related to Freddie, any ship, any genre, any way you like. This is an indiscriminately inclusive, positive event. Everyone is welcome, there is no wrong way to be a fan of Freddie! (Except convincing yourself you're dating his ghost maybe. That's pretty wrong. And weird. Don't do that.)

WHEN? On the 21st, 22nd and 23rd of May.

HOW? On the above dates (or after!), post your contributions to the AO3 collection or alternatively on Tumblr, tagged ‘#fmw2021’ or/and ‘#freddie mercury weekend 2021’. If you post on Tumblr, please also tag @a-froger-epic to make sure you get a reblog from me!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

THE PROMPTS

You can be as free with the prompts as you like. They are here to inspire, there is no wrong way to write them! Change them around, mix them up, make them fem!Freddie, A/B/O, add your favourite ship. Anything goes! 😊

21st of May - 500-1000 word challenge!

We’re kicking off the event with ficlets and drabbles. First time writer just testing the waters? No need for an epic, just write a scene! No time to write but you want to participate? Surely you’ll find time for 500 words! 😉 Interpret these mini-prompts however you like (every one is a separate prompt, but you can combine them!):

Make-Up 💄 | Pain/Pleasure 👀

Strip 👕 | Ring 💍

Forbidden 🤫 | Delilah 🐈

Piano 🎹 | Dormitory 🛏

Outrageous 🎉 | Contentment 😌

Come Together 🎇 | Ballet 🩰

Piece of Art 🎨 | Leather 🧥

Cockring 🐔 | Kimono 👘

Petals 🌸 | Leotard 🕺🏻

Mustache 🧔 | Last Time 😔

22nd of May - Is This The Real Life?

A list of real event/canon timeline prompts from Freddie’s life. How real you want to keep them, however, is entirely up to you!

Down in flames

Freddie is 16 years old when he leaves boarding school. Does it have something to do with the school gardener, Sanjay? Did he flunk his exams or did he not even sit them? Is one thing connected to the other? Does he really find a boyfriend when he goes to stay with his aunt in Mumbai (then Bombay)? Either way, there’s the small matter of his parents finding out about all of it... (Sources: x x )

When Freddie met Kenny

Freddie is a guest on Kenny Everett's radio show in spring 1974. Freddie is living with Mary, Kenny is married. Two gay men, deep in the closet. To no one's surprise, they hit it off immediately. (Source: x )

But when did he?

At some point during his relationship with Mary, prior to his relationship with David, Freddie had already begun sleeping with men. But how and when did that first happen? Cottaging in London? On tour somewhere in the world? Your guess is as good as ours…

Flying High

Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll. Like all rock bands of their time, Queen doesn’t escape the copious amounts of cocaine in the entertainment industry for long. Somewhere on tour in America, perhaps, Freddie is first introduced to it. Where? How?

Hide your tears

Jim said that he tried to be strong for Freddie and only cried in private, so as not to burden Freddie with his feelings. But this time, he is found.

One-liners:

In 1969, Freddie doesn’t know how to cook an egg and neither does Roger (Source: x )

In 1977, Freddie meets Joe while on tour in Boston and starts dating him behind David's back

In 1990, Brian and Freddie work on 'The Show Must Go On' (Source: x )

In a year of your choice, Jim reminisces about his fondest moment(s) with Freddie

In 1976, Freddie and Mary end their relationship

In 1984, Winnie gives Freddie a wedding ring (middle of the post: x )

In the late 60s, Freddie agrees to model for an Ealing Art School fashion show, but panics and flees the runway (Source: x )

In 1974, Freddie is strip-searched upon arrival in Australia (Source: x )

In 1982, Freddie and Roger go shopping in Amsterdam (Source: x )

In 1978, Freddie swings from a chandelier - naked (Source: x )

23rd of May - Is It Just Fantasy?

A list of AU prompts to spark your imagination. Take them and run with them or change them up, just have fun!

Make your dreams come true

Freddie hasn't been very fortunate in his life, until he finds a very special oil lamp, and rubs it just the right way.

Beautiful stranger

Freddie meets an alluring stranger at a masquerade ball, who has more secrets than he can hide behind a mask. But Freddie has some of his own.

Thicker than water

Freddie agrees to a dreadful fate in order to save his little sister from the very same. Fortunately, he has friends who are more than willing to help him, but can they? Or are they, too, in danger?

Diamonds are a boy's best friend

Freddie is the prized jewel of the court, a skilled belly-dancer and entertainer, but he may also be plotting murder and getting away with it.

Almost Real

In a distant future, humans have all but done away with face to face interaction. Humanity largely lives online. Children grow up isolated and live with only their families well into young adulthood. Cybersex is the new normal, although some families take a puritanical approach for fear of addiction. One day, impossibly, a real life young man falls through the containment field in Freddie’s back garden.

One-liners:

This plane is going to crash (Freddie knew there was a reason he hated flying)

Shipwrecked on an island (Freddie could never bear to be alone, but luckily/unfortunately for him…)

Hunger Games AU (Freddie is so dead)

A terrible road accident (Everyone is so dead, or are they?)

Blind Date AU (Freddie's best friend is so dead for setting him up with this person… or are they…)

Bank robbery (but who are the robbers and who are the hostages?)

Magic AU ("Yer a wizard, Freddie!")

Film Noir AU (Secrets and cigarette holders)

Interior Design AU (Does the carpet match the drapes?)

The Bodyguard AU (“And I will always love yooouuuu…”)

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

RULES & FAQ

⛔ Strictly No Hate ⛔

This is the NUMBER ONE RULE of the event, to ensure that everybody feels safe. No rudeness, provocations or hate aimed at creators or other commenters will be permitted, not on AO3 nor Tumblr.

Follow these steps if you receive a comment or ask that distresses you:

Do not engage. (You can take a screenshot as proof.)

Delete it. No ifs, no buts. Just delete it. (Don’t hesitate to block anon hate on Tumblr.)

Alert me ( @a-froger-epic ) or @aboutnothingness, who is lending me a hand to make sure all needs are attended, all questions are answered and everything runs smoothly. We are here to actively support you. We’ve got your back, and we will gladly talk to you and help you feel better.

If you choose to ignore this rule, your work may be removed from the event. We would hate to resort to that.

But what if one of the works has upset me?

Can the thing that upset you be tagged, but it wasn’t? Then please inform @a-froger-epic or @aboutnothingness, and we will bring it to the creator’s attention. (Remember to use the appropriate tags, everybody!)

Was the thing that upset you already tagged? Or is it perhaps simply the characterisation you find disagreeable? Then we suggest you click on the ‘back’ button, take a deep breath and remind yourself it's just fanfic.

Who can participate?

Anyone who is inspired by Freddie Mercury in any way shape or form. This event is open to all.

Can I combine prompts from different days?

By all means! We look forward to your futuristic Freddie-gets-kicked-out-of-boarding-school Maycury Film Noir AU. With leotards. Go crazy.

I'm not sure where my creation fits in, what day do I post it?

The days, like the prompts, are only suggestions. We don't mind when you post it, as long as you post it! Even if it's two weeks late!

Help, I've never posted fic before!

Don't worry, we've got you! (And more importantly, we've got AO3 invites!) @aboutnothingness is more than happy to walk you through the process of setting up an account and is also offering her services as a beta.

I’m still too nervous to participate!

You can post anonymously to the collection. You can disable anon comments on your work. You can disable comments entirely and just collect the kudos. You can close anon asks on Tumblr temporarily. But most importantly, we are here for you and we want you here!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

“I love the fact that I make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just half an hour of their lives, in any way that I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”

- Freddie Mercury

#Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 #FMW2021 #freddiemercuryweekend2021 #fandom event #Queen fandom #Freddie Mercury #it's here!#REBLOG REBLOG REBLO-

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glassheartjukebox · 3 years

Text

the art of obliviousness

feat. ushijima

a/n: aoba johsai, specifically makki, being a good friend! makes! my! heart! go! ba boom! reblogs are always appreciated. find the rest of the soulmate au special here

2k words

6 fucking tallies. the marks on your arm mocked you, letting you know the opportunity to meet your twin flame slipped through your fingers like sand over and over and over again.

III

excitement overwhelmed your body when you stripped down after a long day and noticed the first three marks on your forearm. most people didn’t meet their soulmate on the first pass (or in your case, three passes in one day), but this meant he was definitely in miyagi.

to makki:my tallies showed up !!!

to makki: [image attachment]

From makki: aye thats great

from makki: watch it be the obnoxious johzenji guy who wouldnt take a hint

to makki: why would you wish that on me

to makki: best friend card = revoked

from makki: be still my beating heart.

from makki: you’ve wounded me

you giggled lightly, reminiscing on the events of the day

the volleyball tournament was brutal. aoba johsai lost their chance to go to nationals. your throat was raw from screaming and cheering for them. nonetheless, you were proud of your boys. oikawa put in his all, iwaizumi was blossoming into a great future ace, and makki and mattsun’s blocks were immaculate. you were sure by the next tournament they could destroy shiratorizawa.

transferring to aoba johsai in your second year and meeting makki changed your life for the better. he’d roped you into managing their rowdy team. you had to admit, the other volleyball teams were… intimidating. the tall guys from the other teams towered over almost everyone and walked around with stern looks on their faces. even worse were the guys that hit on you despite your obvious manager uniform (iwaizumi helped you to fend them off). the most physically imposing team by far was shiratorizawa. their stony faced ace and crackhead-esque middle blocker were jarring to say the least. but at least they were professional and polite to you. (expressing the sentiment earned you the privilege of dealing with a pouty oikawa).

your first tournament was a whirlwind. you had barely registered anything other than encouraging your boys. it was all so intense. checking your arm for tally marks wasn’t exactly your priority, especially with your tracksuit jacket on. consequently, you weren’t too discouraged by the three marks glaring back at you from your arms. you would find him eventually

IIII

the first tournament of your third year had commenced and the pressure was on. oikawa’s intensity was enough to make you want to tear your hair out. he was now not only determined to beat his long time rival ushijima, but some random underclassman setter from karasuno. nonetheless, makki had your back and reminded you to occasionally check your arms for tally marks in case your soulmate was once again in attendance. thus far, the stubborn three marks glared back on you. soon enough, your manager duties consumed you. you held iwaizumi back from killing oikawa in front of his beloved fan club. as soon as oikawa and yahaba eyed kiyoko, karasuno’s manager, you grabbed the back of their jerseys.

“don’t even fucking think about it,” you gave them both a stern look.

“but why-” oikawa started to whine and you cut him off. “think about how angry you get when someone bothers me. give her the same respect.”

both boys sulked off, dejected. iwaizumi clapped you on the shoulder and gave you an appreciative smile.

the match between karasuno and aoba johsai was absolutely brutal. the neck and neck competition had you sweating from the sidelines, watching the teams barely hold their composure. when the short redhead’s spike got blocked and aoba johsai got the winning point, your body moved on its own. you ran straight over the boys, hugging them as tightly as you could.

a shiver ran through your body and your hairs stood on end. it felt like someone was watching you. glancing over your shoulder, you caught a glimpse of someone in a purple tracksuit leaving the stands. you shook your head at your paranoia. of course you were being watched, you were standing on the court with the winning team.

after the match, the team was eating and taking bathroom breaks. during a rare moment of solitude between you and makki, you leaned over and whispered, “do you really think he's here?”

He looked back at you and rolled his eyes, “only one way to tell,” gesturing to your right arm. letting out a deep breath, you slipped off your jacket. the tallies had climbed from three to four. makki grinned at you.

“have i mentioned how much i hate this soulmate system?” you huffed. makki simply ruffled your hair.

IIIII

somehow, the aftermath of the match was even more hectic than the match itself. you had so much paperwork to sort out, so many water bottles to fill, and a large group of boys who you had to babysit. that’s how you found yourself briskly walking through the halls of the stadium, praying no one would bother you. the seven full water bottles and stack of paper teetering in your arms were incredibly heavy. if someone came over to make idle chat with you, you decided you would bark at them. your patience was fraying from your own anxiety over the coming matches. of course, there was a wall of purple jacket adorned jocks crowded around right where you needed to walk.

your annoyance completely masked your judgement and you walked right through them, muttering very blunt “excuse me’s” the whole way through. You finally emerged from the large group of guys when your brushed shoulders with someone, effectively causing you to drop everything in your arms.

“fuck,” you muttered, dropping to your knees and trying desperately to pick up all the papers and bottles littered around your feet.

a large figure appeared next to you on the floor.

“im sorry, that was my fault,” a deep voice rumbled from next to you, causing you to jolt. a calloused hand brushed over your own, handing you a messily gathered stack of papers. you looked up and made eye contact with shiratorizawa’s illustrious captain. You were overcome with embarrassment.

“thank you,” you said quietly before quickly making your escape. upon returning to your team, oikawa immediately noticed how flustered you were.

‘oh manger-chan, what got blushing?” your patience was entirely gone, as you shoved the papers into oikawa’s hands and put down the water bottles.

“im going to the bathroom” you growled, glaring at oikawa. as you stomped away, you heard iwaizumi smack the back of oikawa’s head and scold him.

you splashed your face with cold water, overwhelmed. the pressure of manager duties mixed with your lack of professionalism in your interaction with ushijima had you feeling inadequate. your desperation about finding your soulmate clouded your judegment. you knew full well this might be your last chance to find him for a long time. if he was a third year, he likely would not be at the spring tournament. composing yourself, you stood straight and pieced together your put together facade. outside of the bathroom, makki was waiting you.

“spill. what happened.” a looked at you with masked concern. you explained the past ten minutes to him and expressed your worries.

“the team appreciates you, you know. i dont know what they would do without you. and if you dont meet him today, fate will bring you together. likely sooner rather than later.” makki said as he pulled you into a hug.

“really? sooner rather than later? what is that supposed to mean?” you snorted. makki only responded with another pointed look at your arm.

“are you fucking kidding me? i missed him again?” you grumbled.

“dont worry your pretty little head about it,” makki gave you a knowing smirk. what the hell was that supposed to mean?

IIIIII

6 fucking tallies. the marks on your arm mocked you, letting you know the opportunity to meet your twin flame slipped through your fingers like sand over and over and over again. your frustration had built and you found yourself crying with the rest of them after their loss to shiratorizawa. the third years vowed to stay for the spring inter high tournament, and you let out a sigh of relief. you had one more tournament with your boys. fuck a romantic soulmate. you had your platonic ones right here.

you all slowly exited the gym and you once again retreated to the bathroom, freshening up and removing your jacket. you were far too sweaty from anxiety and hugging the boys.

you looked down at the six tallies, resigned. it was whatever. shit happens.

you were met with both makki and mattsun whispering when you exited. you raised your brow, suspicious of the plotting best friends.

“y/n! come on, we’re going for a walk before we have to get on the bus,” makki softly smiled, clearly exhausted.

“i’ll hold your jacket,” matsukawa piped up, taking it from your arms. you three walked through the halls, idly chatting to distract yourselves from the somber feeling in your chests. rounding the corner, you stiffened. at the start of the secluded hallway stood shiratorizawa. the two boys on either side of you were strangly calm, as if they knew this would happen

“let’s take another route,” you suggested, wanting to save them from the exasperation of passing the winning team.

“it’s fine y/n,” makki smiled at you, gripping your arm. as you passed shiratorizawa, his grip became damn near painful.

“ow makki what the fuck-“ you started looking down to rub at the now sore skin on your arm. you froze. IIIIIII. it stared back at you, mocking you. you turned around and walked by the group of boys again, staring at your arm. another tally appeared.

IIIIIIII

you glanced between your arm and the boys, clearly panicked. makki and mattsun watched from a distance, slightly amused by your reaction. however, their eyes were not the only one on you. the “guess monster” had quickly figured out why you were pacing by them, staring intently at your arm. he counted eight marks. he subtly glanced at his teammates forearms, earning some confused looks. wakatoshi, ever clueless, had completely missed the marks building up on his arm.

tendou grabbed him and rubbed at his forearm.

“tendou, what do you need,” his voice tapered off as he noticed the marks. with tendou’s obvious looks between him and the pretty girl standing on the other side of the hallway, he quickly realized what was happening.

internally you were freaking out. how the fuck were you supposed to know which one of the 10+ boys standing in front you were your soulmate? should you just walk up and ask?

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice the tall man approach you until he was looming over you.

“may i see your arm?” for the second time today, ushijima startled you. without thinking you held it out. his strong hands grazed tallies on your arm. to your surprise he leaned down and placed a kiss on the marks adorning your skin and glanced back at you with a soft look in his eyes.

“hello, i’m ushijima. i never caught your name.”

“it’s y/n,” you breathed out, relieved. then it hit you.

“oikawa is going to kill me!” you squealed. ushijima looked back at you quizzically, “why does it matter so much?”

“you two are rivals,” the exasperation was clear in your voice. ushijima just responded by knitting his eyebrows together, clearly not understanding why this had you distraught. “you don’t have to deal with him pouting and being a brat over this, i do,” you said with wide eyes. ushijima just chuckled at you. he took out his phone and handed it to you, “put your number in, i want to see my soulmate again soon,” he paused, then added, “you could come to our celebratory dinner with us.”

you looked at him incredulously, then gestured to your uniform. he simply squeezed your hand and pulled you into a surprisingly firm hug. leaning down so his lips were level with your ear, he whispered, “oikawa is going to have to cope with this. i don’t want to lose you. what are you doing tonight?”

“after i spend time with my team? nothing as far as i know,” you answered honestly.

“meet me at the park, i want to get to know you,” he stated bluntly. ushijima was full of rough edges and unending honesty. for the third time today, he had you flushing. you were sure it wouldn’t be the last.

©glassheartjukebox all written content belongs to this user. do not repost, modify, or copy content

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thewritingstar · 3 years

Text

Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long)

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted.

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star.

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person.

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me.

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all.

-Star <3

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol

---

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different.

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself.

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

#Gruvia #Gruvia fic #gray x Juvia #Juvia x Gray #Juvia ft #gray fullbuster #juvia loxar #fairy tail #fairy tail fic #thewritingstar

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lilolilyr · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D

Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol

Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!

Personal post - do not reblog

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!

Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm

Edit: 203 unread now

But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending

Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They're all happy???!?

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ahahahahahhahahaahaha

Check this out

I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10

Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be

Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Check out my rated E and rated M in my works

Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past

Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh

PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D

Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose!!!

Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately

All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind

I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...

And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol

Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing one-shots quickly in one go

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)

I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.

Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this

Questions to copy:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

#tagging meme #tagged #mine #ongreenergrasses #ao3 tag #ao3 link #lilolilyrae #sept'21 #personal #Personal 2021 #28.09.21

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officialinuyasha · 3 years

Text

Yashahime Original Sountrack Translation

Yashahime Original Sountrack Translation Corrected

Pictures of the Soundtrack Booklet was provided to me by Jessica Rich. I typed this all by hand and made grammatical/name/localization corrections. I went to four different people for answers to ensure proper translation corrections: Ayuuria, Eerie, Juli and Kari.

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Yashahime Original Soundtrack Kaoru Wada: It has been 10 years since "Inuyasha: The Final Act" concluded with a grand finale.

Even before that and still today, there is an ongoing friendship among staffs and cast members, as well as the original author Rumiko Takahashi (we even went to a certain tropical Island together!). From this great teamwork the idea of a sequel to "Inuyasha" arose naturally, but I never thought it would become a reality...! I first hear about the project while attending Anime Boston held in the United States in 2018. Coincidentally, Michihiko Suwa, the producer of Yomiuri TV (at the time), Hideyuki Tomioka, the producer at Sunrise and the screenwriter Katsuyuki Sumisawa were also attending the conference, and we had a lot of fun talking about the project. "Wada-san, we are counting on you on the music!" - when I was offered the opportunity to work on this project, my imagination started to grow even before the story and characters were developed (laughs). Then the time passed, I heard that the production team led by Mr. Sumisawa was struggling to giving birth to the original story, but when Rumiko-sensei drew the characters of Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha, the production made a huge progress all at once. In the spring of 2020, I received the specific script and synopsis, and the door of "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon, which inherited the DNA of "Inuyasha", opened in front of me. Main characters are the twin daughters of Sesshoumaru and the daughter of Inuyasha and Kagome. Their births and backgrounds are veiled in mystery and they must follow a rather fateful path in the story. Inevitably, I had a feeling that the music will be quite important. Generally, when the animation is based on an existing story, there is already the original comics available when the animation is being developed. We created the anime around it, so we would have ideas of the world and how the story develops, but the animations with original stories do not, so I often wondered when I was creating the music inside my head. In the end, I asked a few questions to Mr. Sumisawa, and after repeated consultations, I was finally able to find the worldview. Definitely giving birth to the music was difficult as well, but as the new characters succeeding to "Inuyasha" were gradually being drawn up, the motivation to write music also increased. Musically speaking, in keeping the musical DNA of "Inuyasha". Japanese musical instruments such as shinobue, nohkan, shakuhachi, biwa, koto, and also ethnic instruments are incorporated into the orchestra. All of the songs are newly written and recorded, but the story required songs from "Inuyasha", as well, so I made some amendments to the original score and made new recordings of them. In terms of songs, unlike adventurous, action-packed tone of 'Half-Demon Inuyasha', I made the main theme 'Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon fateful and epic. It meant to hint the fate of Yashahime, and to present the meaning of the song which connects generations. Similar to "Inuyasha", there are many different characters in this story. The Yashahime - Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha have theme songs as well as Demon Slayer, Jyuubee, and Takechiyo (please refer to my comments to each song). In particular, the main theme and themes for Towa, Setsuna and Moroha are played by Japanese instruments, while the orchestra adding colors. Antagonists such as Kirinmaru, the Four Perils, Riku, and as the enigmatic Zero are also characterized their personalities through music. Since I recorded the songs during the Covid-19 pandemic, the recording procedure was different from my usual style. The total number of musicians performing in the orchestra, playing Japanese instruments, ethnic percussions, piano and synthesizers accumulated to 50, but if we were to record at the same time, the studio became too crowded, so we had to divide the recording session into four sections. This method is not unique, but personally I like this old-school method of in-one-take recording! As for the music menu, which are discussed in the interview with the director Teruo Sato and sound director Yasushi Nagura, the total number of songs became nearly 60 songs, and if you add different versions, the total number became 76 songs recorded for the first "Inuyasha" was about 40 songs, so it is almost twice as many songs! We wanted to bring you as many songs as possible, so this album consists of a main disc and a bonus disc. The main disc consists of the original pieces for "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon", while the bonus disc contains trailers and new recordings of the original "Inuyasha" pieces. We also designed the booklet rich in content. And as a special treat, the album cover was illustrated by Rumiko Takahashi! In order to make the best out of the illustration, we made the album into an LP jacket packaging, and I think you can even enjoy the art by displaying the album in your room. By the time this soundtrack album is released in March, the story has reached its climax, and we all have sweaty palms over what happens to Towa, Setsuna and Moroha. As the composer, I would be very happy if you can enjoy this album while remembering the story so far. I would like to take this opportunity to express my deepest gratitude to everyone involved in the music production of "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon", the successor to "Inuyasha", and especially Rumiko Takahashi who willingly illustrated the jacket artwork. Kaoru Wada

Teruo Sato (Director) X Yasushi Nagura (Sound Director) X Kaoru Wada (Composer) -First of all, please tell us how you all came to be involved in "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon". SATO: I've joined the team through directing "Inuyasha", and I was asked by the producer to be a part of this anime. I worked on Inuyasha: The Final Act as an assistant director and was told "How about making a new series inheriting the worldview (of Inuyasha: The Final Act)?". I gladly accepted the offer. NAGURA: I was working as a recording engineer on Inuyasha. The cast and crew of "Inuyasha" got along very well and met regularly every year. We always talked about doing a story beyond "Inuyasha". I was a little surprised to be asked to be the sound director. Since the story was not for "Inuyasha" but for the next generation, I decided to accept the job. I probably wouldn't have accepted if it were "Inuyasha". But actually, when I was working for "Inuyasha" I was working not only as a recording engineer but also a curator of the music, around the time of "Band of Seven" series. In that sense, I was involved one step further from the recording in this series, so I was able to take it straightforwardly without much pressure. Although I was told that this anime is about the next generation, since the first episode was almost like "Inuyasha", I thought, "Shouldn't the sound director of the first episode be Youta Tsuruoka (who worked on "Inuyasha" and "Inuyasha: The Final act")? (laughs). SATO: Tsuruoka-san visited the recording session of the first episode (laughs). NAGURA: That's right. That's how we enjoy working on this anime as a team (laughs). WADA: Since "Inuyasha" had such as agreat teamwork, I was also able to continue my participation with my trusted friends. Michihiko Suwa (of ytv Nextry, who is working on "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" as a planning collaborator) was the initiator of the idea, and I have heard about this anime from him at a very early stage. Initially it was called "Inuyasha 2", but after some twists and turns, the series became a new story that inherits the world of "Inuyasha". Even so, many of the actors and staff continue to work on the series, so we feel the series is connected to "Inuyasha".

- This projected was made possible because the bond between the staff and cast of "Inuyasha" still existed. WADA: Yes, when the "Inuyasha" team gets together, staffs from Sunrise, the actors and staffs worked on the series, staffs from Shogakukan, and of course Rumiko Takahashi, the author of the original story are all present. That's why we are quick in many ways (laughs).

-What do you find attractive about "Inuyasha"? WADA: After all, I think Rumiko-sensei's original work is just wonderful. The character and worldview that Rumiko-sensei created, the beautiful ending of the story of "Inuyasha" have an incredible power. The inspiration from that was a huge part of the music as well. That's why making the music for an original series "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" was so difficult (laughs). SATO: The fact that you have to start from scratch is both fun and difficult, when it comes to creating an original series. I am completely relying on others (laughs). The worldview of "Inuyasha" is so special that when I was to direct the series, I said "If possible, I would like to ask the staffs who worked on "Inuyasha" on the design, music, and audiography. There are a lot of characters from "Inuyasha", and it takes time to tell new staffs about them from scratch...in order to eliminate the need for explanations, I wanted the same staff to join me as many as possible (laughs). But it seems that everyone had heard about it from some rumor in the wind and had been planning to do it, and they all came together when Suwa-san said, "let's do it." NAGURA: The characters in "Inuyasha" are very attractive, aren't they? Of course, they are very attractive on Rumiko-sensei's manga, and when the manga was made into an anime, the way the characters were directed, the way the actors put their voices on the characters, made them even more attractive. I believe that the charm of these characters is what makes "Inuyasha" work as an anime. And then there is the music by Wada-sensei. In a way, I think this is the strongest line-up. That's why I decided not to aim for "Inuyasha", when I was working for "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon". If I chase after it, I won't be able to catch up, so I decided to just do my best and have fun with the young actors. I mainly think about how to make the characters in "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" more attractive. WADA: After all, one of the biggest differences between "Inuyasha" and "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" is whether there is an original story or not. Whenever I work on a new piece, I try things around and always wonder if it's good enough or not. That's exactly what happened with "Inuyasha" when I first recorded it in 2000. As a result, we were able to create something that fit the series, but that was largely due to the fact that we had the original comics. This time, since there is no story to begin with, we don't know what will happen next, so we really feel like we are creating the world. It was quite afflicting and difficult. I actually had a lot of secrets meetings with Mr. Katsuyuki Sumisawa (chief writer), asking him for information about the characters and the story (laughs).

-How far as the scenario finished when you were writing the music for "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon?" WADA: I've heard the rough idea of the overall direction, but it kept changing and changing, and I think I had the final draft up to episode 7 or 8. SATO: It was in the single digits. The cutting (editing) process was completed up to episode 3 or 4, and that is all the information we had to ask him to create the music. WADA: There are a lot of characters, and if you just read the summary, you wonder like "Why are these twin sisters separated from each other? Where are their parents? "Why is Moroha alone?" I'm sure the viewers watching the show feel the same way, but at first, I too had a lot of questions (laughs). I heard that there were weekly scenario meetings, and even some major changes and shifts were made. NAGURA: When we ask Wada-sensei to compose the music, I first make a list of songs and ask the director to review it. After receiving the approval from the director, we handed it over to Wada-sensei and held a meeting. This time, I remember trying so hard to gather information from the plot to create the list. I wasn't attending the scenario meeting so I was searching for any small information from what I had (laughs). WADA: This is big birthing pains, isn't it? In "Inuyasha", there were character themes for the unique characters such as Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyo, so I wanted to keep that approach and made character themes for Towa, Setsuna, Moroha, and for other characters this time as well. But then I can't stop contacting Sumisawa-san again (laughs). SATO: That's how the number of meetings increased (laughs).

-So you asked Mr. Sumisawa directly "why does this character act this way?" and use that as a hint for writing the songs. WADA: Yes, also there was a part of me that wondered, "Where is this story going?". Although the music is not an answer to the story, but "Half-Demon Inuyasha", the main theme of "Inuyasha", is what we call swashbuckler-like music. But this time it's a little different. "What will happen to the three princesses in the future" was a major key to the motif of the songs, so in that sense I couldn't write without knowing the story.

-Based on Mr. Sumisawa's story, what was the motif in composing the main theme of "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon"? WADA: I can't tell you that at this stage because it would be a spoiler... (laughs). From now on, Towa and Setsuna will have a big mission and destiny waiting for them. That's what this song is about.

-I see NAGURA: By the way, the number of songs has increased quite a it since I initially asked Wada-sensei. That's because after Wada-sensei talked with Sumisawa-san, he came up with saying "Don't you think we need a song for this character?". But I thought "I'm sorry there are so many songs" even when I first handed the list (laughs). SATO: But it came back with even more songs (laughs). In the beginning we asked for 45 songs, which I think is still quite a lot for a 2-cour series. But then, the number of songs increased by 1.5 times. WADA: I don't often write many songs in other projects. I would rather say, "I want to cut down" (laughs). However, when I talked with Sumisawa-san and learned about the future storyline, I thought, "Right....We should make a song for this character...." (laughs). That's how we ended up with more. NAGURA: I will be grateful for the opportunity to use them. SATO: I want to use them to the full. -The film score of "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon has an atmosphere that follows the worldview of "Inuyasha." Do you have a formula for music that is unique to "Inuyasha", such as "using this instrument will give it Inuyasha feel"? WADA: Since the story is set in the Sengoku period, the concept from the begining was to use a lot of Japanese traditional instruments. When you think of Japanese traditional instruments, you might think of traditional music like Noh or Kabuki, but that's not the case, I wanted to introduce them into the orchestra withot feeling uncomfortable. That worked so well in "Inuyasha" that I carried it over to "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" as well. While "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" as a work, is not a position to be called a sequel to "Inuyasha", but it is a sequel in terms of music. SATO: That's what I ordered, too. I wanted the atmosphere of "Inuyasha" for sure however, it is a new series so I want the music to evolve as well. WADA: By the way, 'Half-Demon Inuyasha', the main theme song of "Inuyasha", was played in the first episode, but that was the newly recorded 2020 version. NAGURA: 'Half-Demon Inuyasha' was initially written in 2001, so about 20 years have passed since then. That's why I was concerned that if I mixed the music of "Inuyasha" in it's original form, with the newly recorded music of "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon", they wouldn't fit in the same palette. So, I had an intention to ask to have the minimum number of songs necessary from "Inuyasha" re-recorded. SATO: When the first episode was aired, the fans responded, "It's from Inuyasha"! WADA: After all, I think fans were expecting it. The way Nagura-kun used the music was really superb. NAGURA: No, no, I had no choice but to put it on in that scene (laughs). WADA: The first episode was really a "then and there" story, just like a buffer from "Inuyasha" to "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon". I think that 2020 version of 'Half-Demon Inuyasha' worked well to create a beautiful bridge.

-Earlier, Director Sato said that "I wanted the atmosphere of "Inuyasha" however, it is a new series so I want the music to evolve as well", Mr. Wada, how would you describe this "evolution"? WADA: My film score is basically orchestral, and I mix in various Japanese traditional instruments ad use special performing techniques to build up the worldview. It's the same method as last time, but the biggest part is to consider each character and directions they will take in the future. As in the case of "Inuyasha", there are many variations of one theme, and Nagura-kun chooses the music to suit the situation. I think it will change in the future, depending on the development of Towa and Setsuna's story, and the situation of Moroha.

-As the story unfolds, the way songs are heard is likely to change as well. When you write songs for each character, do you have a kind of main instrument for each character? WADA: Yes there is. It's just an image, but the main theme is basically biwa, shakuhachi and flute, just like in "Inuyasha". As for each piece, Towa is flute-based, Setsuna has koto, and Moroha has percussion and flute. Setsuna's song, Demon Slayer Setsuna, is kind of cool, kind of lyrical, like she's carrying something on her back. Moroha's song, Beniyasha Moroha, includes a djembe, an African drum, and various ethnic instruments. This was also the same in "Inuyasha", but I wanted to expand the sonic world a bit more by adding ethnic elements without focusing entirely on Japanese instruments. By the way, in the Inuyasha era. I also used the Chinese instrument erhu for Kikyou's theme. One more thing on the subject of composition, Moroha's theme is actually a variation of Kagome's theme. The image is that she inherited her mother's blood. I didn't include the theme of "Inuyasha" because no matter how I did it, people would know it is from "Inuyasha" (laughs).

-So there's a parent-child connection built into the music as well. By the way, what about Towa and Setsuna? WADA: As for Towa and Setsuna...It's a little difficult to inherit the motif of Sesshoumaru (laughs). SATO: Right, it could be a bit too stoical (laughs). WADA: I did not include it in Towa and Setsuna's themes because it was too much for the story to develop. Actually, Sumisawa-san once asked me if I could include the theme of Sesshoumaru somewher, but I said, "...I can't" (laughs).

-(laughs) Did Director Sato or Mr. Nagura give Mr. Wada any orders? NAGURA: No, what we have told Wada-sensei is basically just the original song list. This time, our request were quite rough. Not like "We are going to use the music in this particular scene, so please make the song in this direction", it was more like, for example if it was about the main theme, we would say, "this is the main theme" (laughs). Wada-sensei absorbed the concept around it, and we are grateful to use what he came up with. WADA: We can do that because of this team, and also because the story is inherited from "Inuyasha". NAGURA: In particular, for Towa's theme song, "Towa, the girl crossed time," I asked him to write about "The daughter who live in the present age, the puzzlement in the Sengoku period". I'm afraid I've left all the work to Wada-sensei...other than Towa's theme, I asked to write songs with concepts like "strong-willed, sense of justice, martial arts, fighting" and "determination, resolve, faith," so I had a certain image in mind to these songs. On the other hand, "the daughter who lived in the present age, the puzzlement in the Sengoku period"... (laughs). But I thought this would be the themes of Towa. It would be different if the song only reflected the puzzlement side. Wada-sensei was really good at handling this. SATO: In fact, this song helped us a lot. NAGURA: Yes it did. Especially in the beginning of the story, this song worked very effectively. WADA: I think that Towa is the closest to the viewer's point of view. In that sense, Towa's motif has the most arranged versions. I wanted to make them so that they could be used on various perspectives.

-Next, I'd like to talk about the recording process. I think the recording of this album took place during the coronavirus situation. Did you have any difficulties? WADA: The recording took place around the end of July. The orchestra consisted of about 50 people, 4 types of Japanese traditional instruments, ethnic instruments, and synths, as usual. I couldn't use the traditional recording method of "one take" because it would have been too dense for the Corona disaster. So we used the "section recording" method, where we recorded each section separately. The time required for the recording simply doubles, so it was a lot of work. There are more people doing it that way these days, though. But around April, when the state of emergency was declared, many studio musicians said they were too scared to go to the studio. If the session was in that time of year, I am sure I couldn't record such as a large group, no matter how much infection control measures I had taken. SATO: I believe it was about two months from commissioning the songs to the actual recording. I was wondering if you had enough time. WADA: I worked pretty hard (laughs). But for the main theme and themes of three girls, I was thinking about the motifs for a long time. What was difficult to see was how much music was needed for characters like Riku and Zero. Actually, at first, we were talking about writing songs for each of the Four Perils. But as more and more songs came out, we had to stop that.

-What did Mr. Sato and Mr. Nagura think when they listened to Mr. Wada's music? SATO: I was like, "This is Wada-san's songs!" (laughs). I felt so sure that the mixing process would be just fine. When the music was added to the first episode, it really created a worldview, and I felt the power of music after all. NAGURA: As soon as I heard the main theme, I thought, "We've won!" (laughs). In "Inuyasha" there is a big main theme called 'Half-Demon Inuyasha' which is still in everyone's ears, and this time we asked for a song corresponding to that song. Of course, works can never be compared in equal terms, but I was very relieved to have the song "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon" which is very ear-catching. It's very helpful for me to be able to create a solid story flow of Yashahime.

-Is there anything you do to make Mr. Wada's music blend in with the dialogue and sound effects? NAGURA: I don't have to think too much. The sound engineer is Kenji Furukawa, who is also a member of the Inuyasha team, and he's done a very good job of making the scenes stand out. When you put the effects and music together as they are, they sound like they're coming out with a bang. There was no need for me to say, "I can't hear this part so let's do something about it." I'm very grateful for that.

-That's also where the teamwork comes into play. Now, please tell us about your favorite song in particular. SATO: For me, I have to say it is the main theme 'Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon'. As Mr. Nagura mentioned earlier, we asked Mr. Wada to "Write something equivalent to Inuyasha", which is quite an unreasonable request. The song 'Half-Demon Inuyasha' is so well known that it is still played on variety shows about the Sengoku period. But Wada-sensei did his best to respond to such a reckless order. As Nagura-san said, the biggest thing for me was that we felt "We could now express the world of "Yashahime: Princess Half Demon". Of course, I like all the other arrangements, but the fact that he was able to create that song made me realize the amazing talent of Wada-sensei once again. WADA: Thank you so much. From my point of view, all of the songs are my cute children, but if I had to pick one... surprisingly, it would be 'Setsuna's Lullaby' with Setsuna's violin. I still wonder, "Why the violin?" (laughs). I am sure there is a development to it, but I was surprised when I first heard it. SATO: It was quite a sudden order, "I want you to play the Demon Slayer song with the violin" (laughs). WADA: In episode 4 there is a scene where Setsuna was playing and there is also a reminiscing scene, so the song wouldn't work if it was edited, so I asked the director "how long are you going to use the song?" (laughs). SATO: We showed him the film in advance, and he made the song to fit to that scene. The writing process was similar to theatrical films. For this song, Nagura-san was concerned about whether it may give a different meaning. If you use it in various scenes and attach too much meaning to it, you won't be able to get rid of that image when you use it in a different development. He said, "I think only Sumisawa-san knows". NAGURA: Right, it's not just the scene where Setsuna plays the violin, but there is a part of the song where I want to put Setsuna's feelings on it. So I asked him, "You're not going to use it differently in the future, are you? Suddenly Moroha can play the violin too..." (laughs). SATO: I don't think so. (laughs). WADA: (Laughs). Setsuna can't sleep, but this song is actually Setsuna's lullaby. I play the piano myself. The scene where mama Moe played in episode 4. Personally, I hadn't played the piano for a long time, so it was quite a challenge. If you listen carefully, you'll hear that piano not so great but even though mama Moe is a world-class violinist, she's probably not that good at playing the piano (laughs). Because of these memories, 'this song is a bit memorable. NAGURA: I like all of them very much, but my personal favorite is 'Deathlight'. It's one of the songs used in the battle scene, and it's in 6 beats instead of 4. I love how the increased 2 beats expresses the sense of fear and oppression. I'm tempted to use it in the beginning, but every time I do, I will try to hold back a bit. WADA: Battle music is the key to any action series, so it's quite a struggle to figure out what to do this time (laughs). But on the other hand, the most interesting songs to make are the battle songs. The pictures also move the most, so there is a synergistic effect that makes me feel good. As in the case of "Inuyasha", I've been trying to change things up a bit, by using not so ordinary beats, or by adding contemporary music-like elements. Even though it was difficult, I had fun creating battle music for "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon"

-So you express a sense of urgency in that aspect. WADA: That's right. For example, the theme of "Mission Impossible" is in 5 beats, and when you listen to that rhythm, you feel that it's a suspense story, right? By using such a sense of rhythm, not as it is, but with a slight twist, you evoke a sense of rhythm that is ingrained in your body. So, the composer has to come up with more ideas in that regard. SATO: Is that related to the fact that Wada-sensei is a disciple of Akira Ifukube (composer)? WADA: Ifukube-sensei also specializes in rhythm in many of his works. There are a lot of odd time signatures in his special effects works. Originally, I didn't have many 4-beat songs in my life's work, only odd time signatures. When you listen to it in loops, it doesn't sound so strange. It's just a lot of work to edit (laughs).

-Thank you very much. Lastly, please give us your comments to those who purchased the soundtrack. SATO: For "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon", we have asked to write a lot of songs. I would like to feature as many songs as possible to the series, and at the same time, I would like people to listen to the soundtrack and immerse themselves in the world of "Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon". In addition, I would be happy if you could listen to the soundtrack of "Inuyasha" and feel the "world of Wada-sensei's music". NAGURA: If you want to use music in an animation, you will have to edit the because of the time. Actually, every time I do it, I feel like, "Wada-sensei, I'm sorry, let me cut it off" (laughs). However, when the soundtrack arrives in your hands, you will be able to understand the songs in their original form and enjoy them as songs. I hope you will enjoy the album from a variety of perspectives, either as a companion piece to the series or as a separate piece of music by Wada-sensei. WADA: This time, there are quite a lot of songs, so the album is a gorgeous 2 CD set. In the modern age, digital distribution is the mainstream, but I think it would be nice if people could enjoy the album as a physical object, looking at the pictures, reading the booklet, and imagining various things. As Director Sato and Nagura-kun said earlier, I would be happy if you could listen to the soundtrack and immerse yourself in the anime world again. By the way, you can now listen to the soundtrack of "Inuyasha" on digital platforms as well. I hope you will enjoy both of them.

#yashahime #inuyasha

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traumatizedkids · 3 years

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Some fun facts, info and More about the S3 and the comic in general.

I made this long ago with the S2 hiatus, so i decided to do the same again with new funfacts, and some new info about S3 (without going into spoilers of course, i hope you guys like it)

As you can notice, the new profile cards has a section called Logo, those logos are a new thing i added to the comic, What’s the purpose? They are made for pannels were the character’s talk but they are not in scene, this is an example from the new season:

When i announced King in Black i didn’t have almost any plans for the next issues, but i liked the Agony plot so i decided to make the story about that.

The Scene were Alec uses Jake as a Bat is a reference to the Blackbird Epilogue were it’s said Jake turns into a Bat of Intention releasing Andrew’s soul.

I wanted to elaborate more the scene were Jake is awakened from the illusion, but it was too many pages and i had to use the Bro thing, i am sorry if it was Lame, for me, at least it is.

When Alec met Hazel, i had plans to explain Alec dad’s were already dead, but i decided to not add that scene.

Alex (Hazel’s daughter) is 10, and She’s a Demi-Girl,

The reason why i started to read Disney Chills was because i wanted to find new traumatized kids from a different media than the ones i already use.

In the moment i read Planet of Symbiotes: Toxin i knew Bren has to be in the team.

Millie was intended to appear revived for a Symbiote after KIB, but i discarded that because we don’t really know her fate and there’s chances she could came back in FF epilogues.

Hazel works as a Lawyer

I want to make season 3 more separate from FNAF, because this comic was turning into a FNAF comic more than a crossover.

The Bonnles came from a Joke i made long ago on Twitter

I suffered a lot in season 2 because i really wanted to use Dylan, but the idea of a Time skip was soo good to not use it, Return of the Kids was totally my fav moment.

Oswald’s Scar plot from Familiar Rabits is gonna come back on the Summer Special.

Traumatized Kids Island is gonna be 10 episodes long i dunno if it’s gonna be Weekly or every 2 days, i have to think that.

Sora Ogami was a character i loved to add and i hope to use it more in future episodes.

I already told that, i changed the Henry’s hairstyles to make them inspired in the actor Jared Gilmoire, the one who interprets Henry in Once upon a Time.

The real name of this comic is: Niños Traumados.

Not gonna lie, i want to add Sleeper in this comic, but i don’t know what happened with him in comics, i am worried :(

The reason i am redesinging some characters is to gave them a personal touch (and because their shows are over)

Dipper and Mabel were requested a lots of times, i hope to use them more on season 3 now i rewatched the show since years.

I dunno if someone get it, but this is a reference to Kingdom Hearts:

I have plans to do a reference to the original trilogy of FNAF Books.

I started this blog because an user called Puffy started to reblog the first 3 episodes saying she was enjoying them, i am very grateful for all her suppor and i love her reblogs, thank you so much.

This also goes for Hide, i dunno if you’re reading this, but thanks for all your support, i love to have you here.

Bren Waters and Dylan Brock are gonna be gooooood friends.

I think it’s pretty obvious, this is an AU, so i take some creative liberties for some designs and relationships, i still use the actual stories from the characters, but some things like Normie and Dylan friendship (who in comics stopped being friends in a comic that we don’t even know if it’s canon) are changed.

In King In Black 3 in the Adults plan i had plans to introduce the crystal gems, but i thought Connie would be a better idea so i could introduce her.

Yeah, Connie is gonna come back, also she accepted Steven proposal after Steven got corrupted again,

There’s gonna be more adults on the Season 3

Not gonna told who, but one of the Founders members of the Meeting has appeared on one episode, not gonna tell wich.

Oswald loves more Springmatt than the Bonnles.

At first i didn’t wanted to confirm Chuck and Sam relationship, but then i was like: Why not?

Season 3 is ubicated AFTER The cliffs epilogue, but BEFORE Gumdrop Angel epilogue.

I confirmed 4 new kids, but i don’t deny maybe new kids would join in the future, someone wants to talk about dinosaurs?

What Oswald says about the name is already taken in KIB 1 is a reference about the fact there’s already a Symbiote called Agony.

At first i had plans to make art-trades with people to have variants of King in Black with another artist but i wasn’t brave enough.

I want to apologize about my shitty english lmao, sometimes i mess up the translation.

If you’re still reading this reblog with a #Yes

ok thanks, i aprecciate that.

sorry for this being so long lmao

For the people who read Disney Chills (and the people i hope i introduced to them like that ask someone sent me) i am aware about the Second Star to the Fright ending, but i wanted to use Barrie anyway, i love that boy.

Not gonna lie, i would love if someone makes a fanart or a dub of this series, if someone wanted to but was afraid to ask, you can, don’t be shy.

For the people who doesn’t knows, i am making an Into the Pit Graphic novel and a Dylan and Normie Graphic Novel, this comic is helping me to practice with Panel composition.

This is the first Splashpage i ever made, and i am very proud of it, i hope to make more on the future:

Goblin symbiote design was inspired in the Goblin Childe and the colors of the green goblin.

Some kids like Oswald are not going to have a Profile Card yet, that’s because Season 3 spoilers.

Im doing an Animatic about Dylan in the other Earth talking to Codex, at first it was a personal project, but i decided to add it to the traumatized Kids Canon.

When Robin is with the Cape on is because i am lazy to draw the body, sorry, i am human too lol.

I am sad no one got it, but that answer about the meeting room and a cat of the founder members was a Doraemon reference, yes, i confirm it, Nobita Nobi is in the 80s meeting.

At first i had plans to introduce Billy and Tommy into S3 but then for obvious reasons i didn’t (But i still can, maybe someday)

Steven’s weeding is gonna be a S3 arc, and it’s gonna be the last time we are gonna see Steven, it’s hard for me, but some kids have to leave in order to other to enter.

Welp i think i gave so many facts, this is a long list, i dunno if people is gonna fully read them, but if you did, thanks a lot for your interest.

Soon i will share more things in this acc, have a good summer.

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emilou-keen-gear · 3 years

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I’m going to get a little person, so please don’t reblog this post. You can skip it if you’d like because I’m just writing this to make myself feel better.

I suffer from anxiety. And those who have anxiety, I’m sure you’ve had friends and family ask, “What are you anxious about?” And the answer is always the same: Nothing. I get anxiety for nothing, which is what I have to deal with on a daily basis. For 99% of the time, I can manage my anxiety by getting a good night’s sleep, so thank whoever invented Melatonine gummies. I love those things.

However, when I do have something to be anxious about, my anxiety becomes harder to deal with, and I have even more difficulties sleeping. Back in February, when my anxiety got so bad to the point I went to a doctor, I was sometimes only getting 4-5 hours of sleep a night, and that was only after tossing and turning for two hours. I have tried several anxiety medications, and they all either have bad side-effects for me or make my anxiety worse. I just got tired of trying out new ones.

Anyway, right now, I’m feeling as if my anxiety is going to be bad for the next couple of months. Not only do I have new cat (on top of having 2 children, 2 dogs, 7 chickens and 3 ducks and yes, we have a nice large property for all of them. I was raised taking care of horses and cows, so I’m used to having a lot of animals) but my mom sold her house and is moving near us but hasn’t found the right home. She is living with us along with her cat and giant golden retriever. I have had several months to prepare for this, but that doesn’t matter with anxiety.

I want to let my viewers know this because:

1. I might not be posting as much lately because of my anxiety. Sometimes my production rate goes up because my anxiety wants me to work. Sometimes I feel so antsy I can’t sit down or concentrate on my latest project. For those who are reading “Twisted Strings of Fate,” chapters will be updated regularly since I have five chapters done as back up, but as for art and my other fanfics, they might be slow coming out.

2. If you don’t hear from me for a week, feel free to check up on me. I don’t mind it. In fact, since joining tumblr and making Ducktales/DWD fanart, I’ve made some nice friends on the Internet, which is actually a first for me. I don’t know if the other fandoms are just different, but everyone here has been really nice, so thank you everyone.

3. Anxiety is a common problem. This year, I have discovered that many of my friends and family have been dealing with anxiety, too. If there is anyone out there in the same boat and you need someone to talk to, go ahead and DM me. I’m a nice person, and I have found that talking to friends is a good way to get rid of some of the anxiety and stress that bogs my creative thinking down.

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h2omyeon · 4 years

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You Were Beautiful (KJM x Reader)

Summary: You had been in love with your classmate Kim Junmyeon for the last year and a half. You finally find the guts to tell him the truth about how you feel, but at the wrong time. (PS: Chanyeol makes a cameo in this story and Junmyeon is an Art History major!)

Pairing: Junmyeon x Female Reader

Tags: College Student Junmyeon, Art Hoe Junmyeon, bittersweet stuff

Warnings: Mentions of suicide towards the end of this chapter

Word Count (in total): 8.5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is my first ever story I wrote and published on here. Feel free to leave comments and I will try to publish each chapter weekly! This story is based off of a combination of dreams that I had which included people who weren’t Junmyeon and Junmyeon himself during the beginning of this whole COVID pandemic (AKA: when things began to fall apart). Like the world that I was living in at that time, this story/dream is just as (I hope to believe) chaotic. I also apologize if there are a ton of plot holes in the story because it was based on a dream and I could not think of any filler parts. Enjoy!- PS

PPS: Thank you so much for reading up to this point; I really appreciate all the likes, reblogs and comments by you all and the overall support. I am also honored to tell you all that I will be publishing a story called “Cocoon” (which will pair the reader with Jaehyun from NCT) within the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that.

PPPS: Before you read this chapter, I apologize for the way the story ends and feel free to ask, comment or message me about it. I felt like it was the best way to end it. I hope you have enjoyed the story thus far as much as I have enjoyed writing and sharing it. Thank you again!- h2omyeon <3

Read the previous parts here: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Epilogue: Universe

Three days after the accident, the press had confirmed that there were more than 20 survivors; there were 40 altogether, although the names were not stated. Most of the people who had passed on the flight were older people or young children. You had no idea if Junmyeon had survived the crash after the on-site investigation was completed as rescue workers and police officers were still going around to friends and family members of those who may have been on the flight.

That same week, your family decided to go visit the Kims on Saturday afternoon to keep them company. While you all were enjoying some of Mrs Kim’s comforting homemade food on their patio that day, the doorbell began to ring. Mr Kim immediately got up from his seat and ran to the door; you saw through the net that there were two rescue workers and a tall male police officer talking to him about something; Mrs Kim walked to the door while the rest of you followed.

You watched a conversation unfold in the front door and the Kims were handed a letter World War 2 style; Mrs Kim opened the letter and read it out loud; her voice had begun to break.

“Good day, we regret to inform you that your family member passed away in the crash that occurred to Flight 496 last Saturday.”

Your heart dropped; the love of your life really was gone. All the memories he had of you were gone, forever. You went into your mother’s arms and began to weep. She sobbed too, as your father consoled the crying women in front of him.

Mr Kim consoled his wife, who asked in Korean, “How will I tell his mother?” Natasha and Molly, not knowing how to react because they were both watching TV, both turned pale after hearing the news and turned off the TV. After a few moments, you and your father walked to the front door. You skimmed through the letter, realizing that there was a mistake; the address and the name were wrong.

The rescue worker, who you recognized as a guy from your history class, spoke. “Wait, I think I got the letters mixed up,” he admitted, taking the letter from you. He looked at the front and the back to check the name; “Yeah, I got it mixed up.” He went to retape the letter, while the other worker handed you a letter with the right address.

“How the hell do you get addresses mixed up?!?!?!” Mr Kim snapped at the young man; the young man had a look of confusion. “Y/N, please read the letter.” Mr and Mrs Kim held one another’s hands; your parents held one another tightly and silently prayed as they watched you read the fate of your first love in your hands.

Your hands shook as you tried to open the letter: “Dear Mr and Mrs Kim, your family member Kim Junmyeon, survived the crash of Flight 496 and is doing well at the hospital; he will be coming home soon.” Along with the brief letter, there was the address of the hospital that he was staying at; it was located in Long Island. Everyone began to happily embrace one another; you couldn’t help but hug your sisters and parents. He was alive; it was a sigh of relief for all of you. You were unable to sleep in fear that he died without wanting to and now for the first time in a week, you could sleep in peace. Mr Kim and your father, two people who initially despised one another, hugged one another for the first time.

“Thank you,” you thanked the rescue workers and the police officer. The workers watched the brief sadness turn into a sigh of relief and happiness .

“I apologize for my colleague’s mistake. Have a good day,” the police officer stated and the three of them went off to the next family. You had a smile on your face; “We will visit him first thing tomorrow,” Mr Kim declared. That night, they went to buy ingredients to make some of their nephew’s favorite foods, both Korean and American.

Later that night, you told Angela the good news; “He’s a brave and very resilient man. I knew he would come out of it alive,” she stated. You two proceeded to talk about how you all were going to meet to go to the hospital the next morning.

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The next morning, you heard loud banging from the front door, while you were asleep. You could hear your father leave the bedroom he shared with your mother to open the door. You woke up immediately and the rest of your family followed suit and walked to the front door.

Mr Kim hurriedly entered the house and rapidly spoke as he walked in. Your mother walked to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. You were unable to understand what had happened.

“What happened?” Natasha and Molly asked; you did not know what was going on either. You didn’t want to bother your parents, so you went to the bathroom to brush your teeth. The young girls walked down the stairs to the living room by the time you came out of the bathroom. You walked down the stairs and to the living room; you saw that everyone was crying. Junmyeon was alive, you thought. Why are they crying?

“That letter was a lie,” Mr Kim consoled you. He wiped his tears, took a sip of his water and began to explain that he had received a call from the hospital that Junmyeon had suffered a seizure in his sleep as a result of his head trauma and passed away earlier that morning. Your father looked at you; your heart dropped. You got up to feel if the world you were living in was stimulation; you felt the room spin, then go black and produced a loud thud as your body fell on the floor.

Fifteen minutes later, you woke up on the sofa, having no recollection of being there. There was a wet towel on your forehead; Angela and Chanyeol had arrived by that time. Angela’s face was red and puffy from crying, while Chanyeol consoled her. He had tried not to cry, but the tears in his eyes were about to come out and he finally cried. Your mother and sisters were all crying, but at that moment, you were confused as to why they were so sad. By this time, Mr Kim and your father had gone to the hospital to collect Junmyeon’s remaining belongings.

It had suddenly hit you that Junmyeon had passed away; that was the reason you fell on the ground. You hoped to reunite with the love of your life that same day at the hospital but all hopes of reunion died along with your hopes in life. You didn’t know how to process what had been going on; he wasn’t dead, he was just away for a long period of time, you claimed in your head. You couldn’t eat and refused to move from the sofa for the rest of the day. Your mother sang songs as a way to console you and your sisters sat with you, holding your hand.

“I know how much you loved him,” your mother consoled. “He’s in a better place now.”

Later that evening, your parents were watching the news when the reporters had confirmed he was the passenger who had died of his injuries. You stared blankly at the television screen; Junmyeon was now a memory embedded in a voicemail, a text message conversation and many pictures taken during your time together. Another thing passed away that day, which was your ability to feel love. It would take a while for you to grow that ability back.

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The funeral was a week after the news broke. It was small and quick, since Junmyeon’s body was flown to Korea that same night. Your sister Natasha and Chanyeol had sung his favorite song, “Universe” by EXO as a way to say goodbye with Molly playing the piano. Along with Angela and Chanyeol and a few of your other friends, your father spoke about how much he saw Junmyeon as the Glue that held two families together. Mr and Mrs Kim spoke, sharing their experiences with him as their beloved nephew, while your mother spoke about how he possessed a rare quality to love unconditionally and spread that love to everyone around him.

It was your turn to speak. You didn’t prepare a speech and were naturally awkward when it came with words, despite being an English major. You took a breath and finally, after formulating somewhat of a hasty eulogy, began to speak:

“Junmyeon was like glue; he stuck by you no matter what you were going through. Whenever I felt upset, I knew I could always go to him to talk to him about it. He brought two families who initially did not know one another together and formed a trust that will last a lifetime,” you began.

“Most of all, he made me the happiest I had been in a long time. I remember the night before he left, he told me that I made him happy. I never thought I could be the source of someone’s happiness, let alone be happy myself. Happiness is something I don’t think I will ever find in a long time and for most of you, Junmyeon may be just a memory. I know that for you all, he is memorialized in physical items such as pictures, voicemails and text messages, but for me he is memorialized both in my heart and in my life. I’m glad I got to know Junmyeon; he was the light in everyone’s life that has now extinguished. I will miss him deeply. The sad thing is, I never even got to say goodbye to him at the hospital and tell him how much I really loved him. Now I can finally tell him that I will always love him.”

The attendees clapped as you walked back and sat next to your mother. The rest of the funeral went by like a breeze; you began to wonder how you were going to live your life now that Junmyeon was gone. You could have been able to contact him had he flown to Korea safely, but now you were never going to hear him tell the stories of his life in the military, his admiration for paintings, his stupidly corny jokes and his singing voice; he was gone forever.

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Stuck like glue no more, your father and Mr Kim got into spats over small things once again. They went back to Korea to live with Junmyeon’s parents after a month. Your family went on to live their lives, but you felt out of place in their happiness and normality. Since the funeral, dark thoughts appeared in your mind that had never appeared before. You had thoughts of joining him above in ways unimaginable; one way was covering your aired out body parts in plastic bags (such as your arms and head), then jumping from the top of the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River, while another included knives, although thankfully you never acted on these thoughts. You occupied yourself with listening to music, writing, cooking, talking with family and friends, going to museums and walking around the park whenever the weather was nice to get rid of the thoughts; the thoughts were not frequent, but they lasted for days at a time.

One year after his death, you went to visit Mr and Mrs Kim’s now empty house that was about to be filled with new neighbors and sat on the empty bench at their front porch. You reminisced about the confessions you made to him and he did to you; the liveliness and spark were no longer there. The laughs shared, the kisses shared, the stories told were memories you could no longer experience again. You sat for an hour and stared up at the sky deeply immersed in your thoughts about life as some bass music from your neighbor’s house played in the background. Suddenly, the lyrics to “Rough” by GFriend began to ring in your head:

If I could run through time and become an adult

I will hold your hand in this cruel world

Grieving is different for everyone; for you, it took a year to accept Junmyeon’s untimely death. You knew that you could not spend your life being sad forever and had to look at the future ahead of you instead of dwelling in the past. No amount of songs, dreams, fantasies, voicemail replays, nostalgia talks with Angela and Chanyeol about him, and re-wearing the sweater he had left in your room after a theater rehearsal could ever bring him back.

For three years, you held each other’s hands and guided each other through this world in unusual ways and that bond was abruptly broken by his sudden departure. However, you still held it out in hopes that you would reunite with him in the future and now that was no more. You remembered that you had to help your mother cook beef Stroganoff and got off the bench. For one last time, you took a glance at it before the new people were to move into the house and it would be gone forever.

“Bye,” you whispered, then walked back out into the strange world you were living in, seeking for a new hand to hold and cherish forever.

The End

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authorized-trash · 4 years

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To Tie a Knot: Chapter 4: That Moment When Fate Ships You With Four Other People

Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Five

Content Warnings: Mentioned character death, vomit mention, self deprecation, panic attack, cursing, (tell me if there's more)

Chapter Summary:

That moment when you need to find yet another boyfriend to add to your collection, *sigh*.

Word Count:

2,500+

Note:

I was hit with inspiration for some reason, so here’s this chapter, and the next one will be up in a little bit, I just got to format it for tumblr. Sorry its been awhile, this story is kinda just, I update whenever my mind decides to.

Everyone over on Ao3 has taken well to this chapter and the next chapter, so I hope you all do too!

(Incase you were wondering, i changed up the chapter titles, i got tired of trying to come up with different alliterate phrases, so im just gonna be dumb with the titles as;ldfkj)

- -

Damian hadn’t even noticed when he slumped to his knees. Tears dripped from his cheeks and landed onto his outstretched palm. Remy’s eyes widened and he quickly moved to get on Damian’s level.

“Dee? You okay there? Did you not know?” He asked, gently taking Damian’s trembling hands in his own. Damian let him, too shocked to take them back.

“N-no? What? How am I supposed to deal with four Remy, I already lost one I can’t- I can’t lose four!” Damian said, staring blankly at his hands, at the strings he was now aware of. He could feel them tug and twitch as his soulmates moved. They were all pretty close to one another, stretching in the same direction. Figures, they had probably met up by now.

Damian was the outcast.

“You aren’t going to lose them,” Remy said, an edge to his voice, “Damian you won’t lose them, you were jus- just unlucky the first time, babes, I promise. This time will be better.”

“No Remy you don’t understand, they’re paired with me, they’ll die, I’m bad luck or something-”

“Damian Janus Lyer, don’t. Don’t say that. You’re not. I know you, this isn’t you, you’re just tired and not thinking clearly. This is a good thing. You aren’t bad luck. You aren’t, and babes, if I hear you say that one more time I’m going to throw some punches,” Remy said. Damian gave a watery chuckle, and Remy smirked.

“Listen, you are in no state to go in there right now. Why don’t we ditch for a little while and go get some food or somethin’”

Damian nodded, moving to stand. He dusted himself off. He looked down at his strings. The four colors were all lovely, red, blue, indigo, and purple. The colors were deep and ethereal in a magicky sort of way.

Without thinking he strummed a finger across them, and startled when three out of the four tugged back. The last one, purple, started vibrating in a way that one would think meant the person on the other side was running their finger across the line.

More tears gathered in Damian’s eyes. He was connected with these people. They were his soulmates. They were there, on the other side, waiting. The thought of them being disappointed weighed heavy, but in this small moment he could only think of the opportunity that was given to him.

Remy watched this with a small smile, ruffling Damian’s hair as they began to walk off campus to his car.

Damian followed, hurriedly wiping the tears from his eyes and smoothing his hair down.

“Listen, babes, you pick where we eat, and I’ll pay.”

Damian shrugged, “Thanks.”

“What? No arguing that you’ll pay this time?”

Damian rolled his eyes, “You offered and I’m too emotionally confused to argue.”

His voice was thick with tears and still wobbled every once in a while, but he had managed to compose himself well enough by now. He slid into the car seat next to Remy.

He made a point not to touch the strings, not wanting them to move. He didn’t want to seem needy or something. He relaxed fractionally, attempting to gaige some personality from the strings. Indigo (Or was it navy? It was rather dark, nearly black. It was decidedly not black when reflecting light), was shaking around as if someone was writing with that hand. Red was pretty still, expect for a few swoopy movements, as if the person was flailing their arms around. Purple was shaking slightly but otherwise not moving, and blue was fluttering around like crazy, and Damian was certain the person was messing with their string.

For a moment he wondered what his string looked like to them. He hoped it was yellow, maybe gold. He liked those colors. Green would also be nice, but he doubted that was the color, seeing as his last soul string was gre-

Damian’s breath hitched, and that feeling of loss hit him hard, and he clenched his hands into fists. Remy glanced over at him, but didn’t comment.

He was so caught up in this new soulmate business he had forgotten he had already had one. One he had lost. The string he had grown up with, the one he had talked about with friends in grade school. The one that appeared on his fragile little hands when he was born. The part of his soul that he grew to know.

The one he knew would shake wildly sometimes, or tug painfully at others. The one he would console with gentle strokes late at night when he would wake up to it trembling. The one that would do the same for him, that had always been a comfortable weight throughout his recovery as a kid.

He would never meet the other end. Never know who it was.

They could have died suddenly or painfully, and here they were, forgotten by their soulmate a month later due to the reassigning. Damian was so ready to forget them, and the guilt of that was weighing on him so hard he wanted to vomit.

He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to steady his breathing, ignoring the light feeling of the dangling frayed string on his hand.

He closed his eyes and lied to himself about how bad it hurt.

“It is a very lovely shade of yellow,” Roman commented from where he was laying on the couch. He was looking up towards the ceiling, his hand containing his string collection in front of his face as he examined the sun colored string as it swung with the others.

“It reminds me of a sunflower when hit by the sun juuusst right,” Patton said, curled up on Roman’s chest. He was also looking at Roman’s hand, messing with his own strings absentmindedly.

Logan was sitting in the arm chair across the room, having stayed home. They all had decided to take the day off of responsibilities, this was a large occasion, after all. He had a notepad on his lap and was writing down everything he could about the situation. He had a knack for writing information about anything and everything down. He liked to be well documented.

Virgil was curled up on the floor, scrolling through Tumblr in the way he does when he’s thinking, and not reading a single thing. If it looked like art and was colorful, he reblogged it without thinking. He was more focused on the way the new string on his hand looked as he occasionally typed.

They all sat around in domestic silence, preparing for the long talk they were going to have to have soon.

They all noticed it, despite no one saying it aloud. That feeling of something missing. They grew up with it, but had by now gotten so used to that feeling of wholeness. Now that it was gone, so suddenly? They didn’t know how to feel about it, really. It’s easy to lose something you didn’t get a chance to know or experience, but getting a taste of something amazing to have it disappear was near torture.

“I think it appears to resemble the yellow paint Roman likes to get all of the carpet,” Logan said, lips upturning slightly at Roman’s upfronted sound.

“Nah, it def’ looks like… I don’t know, snakey,” Virgil said.

“Snakey?” Roman asked, laughing slightly, “What about the color looks like a slithering reptile?”

“Uh, snakes equal yellow, duh? Same as seven being green,” Virgil rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.

Patton laughed, “Kiddo, seven is pink.”

“Seven is seven? It cannot be either pink or green, it is a number,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Just let them be weird, Specs, with their weird color assigning,” Roman laughed, sitting up. Patton yelped as he slid off the couch.

“Listen, I’m just saying its snake yellow,” Virgil said, “But if you wann-”

Virgil was caught off as a particularly hard twinge came from the yellow string. He looked around at the others, and noticed they had felt it too. Up until this point the string was pretty chill, if a little shaky. Logan had suggested earlier it was due to shock.

As crazy as gaining a new string out of the blue was a wild, gaining four strings must have been insane. Virgil pitied the poor person, it probably scared the shit out of them.

Without thinking, he reached forward and ran his index finger over the string a few times, showing that he was here.

“This is so exciting! We have another soulmate to hunt down!” He waved his arms around animatedly. He looked as if the idea had just clicked for him.

There was a whole other person out there waiting for them, someone who would fit into their little dynamic. Someone with likes and dislikes and quirks and feelings, a whole human being.

Virgil felt himself smiling along with the others. Logan had gone back to scribbling on his notepad, even faster this time. Patton was chatting with Roman about the possibilities while rolling the string around in his fingers.

Virgil curled into the warmth of his hoodie, and for once, allowed himself to look forward to the unknown future.

By the time Damian had gotten home late that night, he was exhausted. He collapsed onto his bed in a pile of limbs, kicking his shoes off and snuggling into the covers. He didn’t bother with his shirt other than unbuttoning the top couple of buttons, and he had long since ditched his gloves. They were currently somewhere buried in his bag.

He and Remy had loitered around town for a while, talking about anything and everything. Damian had really tried to be in high spirits and give his usual sarcasm, but he just wasn’t feeling it.

His eyes drifted shut, and the beginnings of a dream had already begun to swirl, sounds and nonsense conversations were supplied to his mind, and he let his mind wander as it drifted into resting mode.

That is, until he felt a tug on his ring finger.

He opened his eyes a bit, glancing down at his hand, at the indigo string.

Tug.

His eyes opened, he was paying attention now.

Tug tug tug tug. Tug. Tug pull tug tug. Tug pull tug tug. Pull pull pull.

Damian moved to sit up, but found the effort to be too much. He decided, through the hazy-slow process that was thinking when half asleep, that this was a matter of importance, and therefore should happen in the morning. So he fell back asleep without paying it too much mind.

Logan sighed heavily as he stood from his chair, giving up on tapping out a message to their new soulmate. During their talk earlier the group had decided that it would be a good idea to try and meet this person as soon as possible, in order to diminish the time they felt incomplete.

It shouldn’t be too difficult. They could all drive, and all felt like the soulmate had to be relatively close. Reassignments normally happened to people who are near each other. The farthest recorded reassigned soulmates were four states away from each other. Almost everyone else was within the same state at least.

Logan had proposed morse code, the same way he and Patton had found each other, and the way they would occasionally send stupidly sappy quotes to one another on occasion. It must have been too late because the person wasn’t answering. He would have to try again sometimes tomorrow.

He heard a soft knock on his office door, and a few hushed whispers from somewhere farther in their shared house.

“Yes?” He called through the door, looking over as it slowly opened. It was only a little past midnight, but he still felt it to be inappropriate to talk any louder.

“Hey Lo? Me and the other two were wondering if you could join us in the kitchen to talk… again,” Patton said softly, leaning against the doorframe.

“The others and I,” Logan corrected, but nodded as he stood up, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. My sleeping schedule is probably messed up at this point anyway.”

Patton smiled fondly, and turned to lead Logan back to the kitchen. Virgil and Roman were sitting across from each other at the table, bickering about something under their voices.

They both looked up when Logan walked in,

“Okay, so, now that we’re all here,” Patton started, clasping his hands together as he sat down. Logan pulled up a chair, spinning it so it was backwards. He loathed to sit in chairs normally, both he and Virgil seemed to share that small quirk. Roman simply splayed himself out on the nearest surface, and Patton tended to sit criss-cross on the floor more often than a chair.

Logan shook his head to snap himself out of his wandering thoughts, focusing back onto Patton.

“We’ve come to a decision, Logan, and I’m sorry you weren’t here a little earlier, but we didn’t want to bother your work.” Logan nodded, not at all perturbed by being left out of the conversation. In fact, he was happy they left him to his own devices for awhile. It’s not like he was out of the loop, they were having the conversation for a reason.

“And?” He asked, quirking his head to the side.

“-And we’ve come to the conclusion-”

“Patton, please stop sounding so serious, it’s unnerving, that’s Logan’s thing,” Virgil cut in, rolling his eyes fondly.

Patton snickered, but continued, “We think it would be best if you were the one to go find our new soulmate. Like you said earlier, meeting all of us at once might be too much for them, and you’re one the… er… easier of us to handle.”

“Roman would probably serenade them the moment he saw them,” Virgil teased, elbowing said soulmate.

“Excuse you, you’d scare them off with all that,” Roman gestured to Virgil’s outfit, “Edge.”

“I see. So when should I leave? I’ll have to call off work and do extra to catch up in my classes.”

“Sometime tomorrow would be good, Lo. I’m hoping to meet them by the end of the week. I really do think they’re close, if not in town.”

“I agree,” Roman nodded, and Virgil shifted and did so as well.

“Very well. I’ll leave around noon, then. I planned on continuing with the messages until I manage to get an answer, Perhaps they’ll tell me where they are. It shouldn’t be much harder than that.”

“Yeah! That sounds awesome,” Patton smiled, then suddenly squealed and flapped his hands, “Ooh I’m just so excited to meet them, my goodness-”

“I wonder what they will be like, I don’t think I could stand another emo in the group,” Roman joked, and Virgil swatted at them.

“Listen here Princey, you like my emo. Besides, your eyeliner was a hot mess before I showed you how to properly apply it, so you better thank this emo,” Virgil snapped playfully.

Logan watched them with a soft expression, standing up and stretching.

“We should all get some rest, then. Big day tomorrow,” Logan said, walking towards their room. The others nodded and moved to stand.

Big day, indeed.

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silverlysilence · 4 years

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Hidden at Hogwarts

So @fabllama02 recently reblogged a post about how the RotBTD Hogwarts AUs got their Houses all wrong (though it does mention how Hiccup was sorted correctly in Ravenclaw and I was like, WTF?! Most of the art I see is with Hiccup as Hufflepuff, which is believable, but Ravenclaw is obviously the right choice there, but I’m digressing).

Anyways, it points out how Jack Frost should be in Hufflepuff and that got me thinking...

Jackson Overland was by no means the best student to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He probably would have been sorted into Ravenclaw House if that were the case but neither had he received a Troll or Dreadful on his any of his O.W.L.s. The worst he got was a Poor in History of Magic but he blamed having a ghost for a professor for that one. The rest of his O.W.L. were Acceptable or Exceeds Expectations with an Outstanding in Transfiguration that surprised even himself.

Still, despite it being only a few weeks into his sixth year, Jackson was already counting down the days until the end of the term. Most students would balk at wanting to leave Hogwarts—well, at least when it wasn’t exam time—because it was the best school in all of Europe. However, the majority of the school had something he didn’t.

Friends.

Oh, don’t get him wrong, Jackson did have friends. A lot of them if he was being honest but none of them went to Hogwarts. They either attended regular school or went to one of the other two prestigious European schools of magic. He was fine with that, in the beginning, since he received acceptance letters from both Durmstrang and Beauxbatons as well and could have followed his friends if he desired to.

But Jackson Overland was stubborn and he wanted to attend the alma mater he read about from his mother’s schoolgirl diary. The young ten-year-old him believed he would make new lifelong friends at Hogwarts and then he’d wouldn’t be sad his other friends weren’t there with him. The train ride had been a great start, he’d bounced around from compartment to compartment, talking with anyone willing and learning a fair share of Hogwarts outside of what he’d learned from books and secondhand accounts.

Then his Sorting took place.

Ravenclaw was the first to be discarded for the simple reason that he didn’t seek knowledge for the joy of knowing as many of the House so often did and he wasn’t one to believe intelligence was everything. Knowing didn’t matter when one didn’t have the courage or drive to do something with it. He was sad, though. Sad that Ravenclaw was immediately taken off the table when air was their element, that stung since he did so love being up in the air, surrounded by the winds.

He wasn’t surprised that Gryffindor was the next House to be rejected. Jackson could be brave and daring when he needed too, but only when it involved others. Not only that, but fire wasn’t his thing and with it being Gryfindor’s corresponding element, he could live without being a member of the House.

That left two options that the Hat painstakingly struggled with: Hufflepuff and Slytherin.

Hufflepuffs were hard-working, dedicate, patience, and loyalty. All of which could describe Jackson to the letter, when he felt like it. He could be dedicated and hard-working if that meant more time for fun. He had patience—how else could he survive year from year at Hogwarts without being patient?—and was fiercely loyal. Even better, earth was the element for Hufflepuff.

Before he could get too excited over that fact, the Hat began considering the last option.

Slytherin House.

Jackson actually knew more about the House than any of the others. His mother’s diary described many of late nights sitting under one of the silver lamps hanging from the ceiling in the Slytherin’s cold common room. Cold because the common room lies beneath the element of their House, water from the Black Lake, but the warmth of her words spoke of fondness for her House. He might not have the same ambition to become the world’s youngest Potion Mistress as his mother, but his determination and need to toe the line in regards to the rules—he was testing their elasticity—was something they both had in common. Add in his cunningness and resourcefulness nature when pulling off a prank that even impressed the sole portrait—hidden in an antechamber of one of the countless secret passageways Jackson passed his time searching—of a younger Salazar Slytherin and he could very well fit in with people of similiar values.

In the end, the Hat had allowed him to choose and he’d chosen loyalty. Loyalty to a mother he had vague memories of and a diary full of stories he often dreamed about.

Jackson Overland was draped in the silver and greens of the Slytherin House that night sealing his fate.

The next morning, as he giddily bounced through the halls, cheerfully greeting anyone he passed, he noticed the change. Where the same students had been happy to help and answer his exuberant questions on the train, they took one look at the colors of his tie and turned up their noses, ignoring him. It soon became apparent by choosing Slytherin, he had effectively alienated the other three-fourths of Hogwarts. It was disheartening and had him dragging his feet as he tried again and again with other members of the various Houses only to be met with the same result.

At least he had his own House. The House his mother loved so dearly. There was just one problem. A small difference between his mother and him.

Phoebe Black was as Pure-blood as they came and from The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black before she’d been struck off the tapestry.

Jackson Overland was a Half-blood.

Nothing more than a Mudblood in the eyes of his Housemates.

He quickly learned none of them would approach him outside the confines of the dormitories in fear of another student of a different House or teacher seeing them and tarnishing the reputation of Slytherin, inside was another matter. His homework would always disappear, ink bottles shattered and quills snapped. None of his school robes were destroyed as that would reflect badly on the House and possibly lose them points, his muggle clothes, on the other hand, were mere rags. Worse was their constant taunts and name-calling.

It was no wonder Jackson had taken to hiding away in Hogwarts as much as possible. When he wasn’t in class or sleeping behind heavily warded curtains, he was invisible. Practically a ghost. For Merlin’s sake, Profession Binns routinely forgot he was a student and would give him Ghost Letters as reading material.

Thankfully, The Grey Lady caught him attempting to decipher the ghostly writing to no avail one day and kindly read the translucent notes out loud for him to copy down on a sheet of parchment. He thanked her by placing a single lily flower in the small niche window seat she so often haunted. Since then, it had become a tradition, when Jackson received Ghost Letters, the Grey Lady would read them aloud for him, and a lily would be put in place the next day.

A process he was repeating once more, gently tucking the Moonbeam Lily that in no way shape or form came from the Forbidden Forest next to the blue and silver pillow. Making sure flower was visible and would be easily spotted, he quickly retreated to one of the hidden passages Salazar informed him of and waited. He didn’t have to wait too long for the Grey Lady to float down the hallway, passing his hiding spot, where she came to a halt next to the window.

Amber eyes gleamed in happiness when he saw lips forever in a grim expression tilt upwards. Jackson didn’t know if she knew he always stuck around long enough—sometimes hours—just to see her reaction. To him, it was the best part, because if it made the usual solemn ghost happy for a small moment and that made him happy.

He was just about to take a step back and head down the path at his back when a polite nasally voice drifted down the hall, rooting the brunet to the spot. He couldn’t see the person but the distinguishable clinking of metal against stone every other step was a dead giveaway. Amber eyes immediately caught sight as tall auburn-haired wearing the same blue and bronze ties as the bulky blond at his side as they made their way pasted his hiding place, animatedly discussing the Triwizard Tournament announcement. Undoubtedly on their way to their common room to get quills and ink to submit their names into the Goblet of Fire.

It was only after they were long gone, voices but a distant memory that Jackson let out his breath.

“Why do you not talk to him?”

Jackson didn’t jump, but it was a near thing. Instead, he leaned up against the wall and allowed himself to slide down, sitting in the darkness with only the silvery-grey light cast from the Grey Lady for light. Drawing his knees to himself, he rested his arms on top and buried his head as if that would further hide him from the world.

“I’d rather not,” the brunet shrugged languidly.

“I do not understand. You often stare at him, and speak fondly of his deeds, but you never approach him,” the Grey Lady glided over towards the teenager. “Why is that?”

“Because Hiccup bloody Haddock doesn’t know I existed despite having the biggest crush on him?” Jackson mumbled into his arms.

“Yet I have heard you fondly speak of the first time you saw him on multiple occasions.”

“Again, he didn’t know I was there,” Jackson hummed, the memory of his fourth year unbiddenly rise to the surface.

He had just fled Charms class, slipping into the nearest hidden passageway leading to the kitchens for some lunch away from the Great Hall when he heard the deep nasally voice doing a poor imitation of a Scottish accent. Normally, he would have kept on walking, the prospect of learning a few new recipes from the eager House Elves more of a lure, but the laughter of children had his curiosity peeked.

Following the laughter led him to a brick wall, but a tap from his wand on an indented stone had the brick sliding back, giving him a glimpse inside the usually unused classroom currently filled with a group first and second years—ties of all colors sans the stark greens and silver of his own—sitting in a circle as a teenager—lacking the telltale tie and all important crest emblazoned robes—read from a book in one hand while waving his wand about in the other hand as he paced inside the circle.

The floating veils above the auburn hair swirled before one floated down, passing by another heading upwards to rejoin the group. The teenager began reading again as the veil floated around the circle for all the children to get a good look at and when he was finished describing the properties, he asked the group for the name of the plant. One of the Hufflepuff offered up a name but the teen’s voice took on the horrible Scottish accent once more as he listed how her answer was wrong in a humorous, fun way as to not embarrass her.

It was in that moment, watching the unknown teen spend his lunch hour teaching the younger students about the various potion ingredients and their properties their Potions Master should have taught them—the bastard hadn’t, Jackson knew that from his experience dealing with the man in his capacity as both a professor and Head of House Slytherin—in preparation for the upcoming exams that his interest in the teen grew.

From then on, Jackson kept an eye out for the auburn-haired teen and observed. The next time amber eyes caught a glimpse of him it was with him fumbling with his blue and bronze tie as he hurried into the fifth year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class a few seconds before the bell rang. Jackson was a bit surprised that the unknown teen was a year ahead of him, instead of behind as he initially thought, but he wasn’t surprised to find out he was a Ravenclaw. A week later, the Slytherin learn his name from his hefty blonde Housemate shouting it from across the courtyard as he pulled the notorious Thorston twins from House Hufflepuff after.

Amber eyes had dimmed upon seeing the Ravenclaw walking towards the trio of blondes with a Gryffindor on either side of him. The small fledgling of hope worming its way into his heart quickly shattered. There was no way he could become friends with the kind-hearted auburn-haired teen. Not with two Gryffindors as friends—best of friends from the looks of how they hung off of each other and a little more on the blonde’s part if he had to guess—because while members of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff could be friendly and open with their childhood Slytherins friends and family, Gryffindor and Slytherins did not mix.

At all.

The two Houses always thought the worst of each other, blaming them for everything and since Jackson was lumped together with the other Slytherins, he received more than his fair share of accusations by the House. Another reason he tried so hard to be invisible inside the wall of Hogwarts and stay invisible he would continue to do. Jackson let the hope die and kept his distance. He could not, keep himself from watching over Hiccup though, and with each new thing he learned about the loyal, intelligent, brave Ravenclaw, the larger his crush grew.

“I could speak to him for you; if you so wish?” the Grey Lady offered.

“Milady, I appreciate you’re offer, but Hiccup Haddock is better off not knowing Jackson Overland.”

#Hogwarts #The Grey Lady #I'm Sorry #SilverlySilence's Fanfics #fanfic #Hiccup Haddock #Jack Frost #Jackson Overland #HiJack #Hidden at Hogwarts

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travllingbunny · 4 years

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Clarke Griffin’s memories and images in her mindspace

In this post I will list all the drawings from Clarke's mindspace seen in season 6 of The 100 (in episodes 6x06, 6x07 and 6x10) that we have been able to spot - most of which (over 90 of them! Yes, this is gonna be a long post) we've been able to identify, with image comparisons to scenes from the show.

First, credit where credit is due: this idea first came from @ofnailbatsandaxefives who identified many of the drawings and made a bunch of side to side comparisons last year after 6x07 aired in this post.

I later tried to identify the rest of the drawings, with the help of a few people here and on Twitter (rewatching the show also helped), but this resulted in an endless number of reblogs. Episode 6x10 Matryoshka also had more drawings that weren't in 6x07 Nevermind, some images were misindentified, and I decided to redo all the images with better resolution screencaps.

Big thanks to everyone who helped in identifying some of the trickier images (many of them are on Twitter and I don’t know if they have Tumblr profiles), especially (Twitter handles) SheiGarche (who identified several of these and corrected some of my mistakes), Lovestory813, BellarkeMood, taunadora, becki_travels, fabiana_vec, indreamswake, KindZouzou and my Tumblr mutual @jeanie205 (I’m sorry if I forgot anyone).

See also my earlier post about Sets, props and costumes in 6x07 Nevermind.

As a BONUS in addition to the images on Clarke’s memory wall, I’ll also go over audio flashbacks heard at the end of 6x06, in 6x07 and 6x10 - as a mix of voices representing Clarke’s jumbled memories. Many of them can be heard and identified in the episodes, but special thanks to (Twitter user) klarksbell for removing the background sounds from the scenes so some of the background voices could be heard clearer.

(In a follow-up post. I’ll go over Clarke's drawings from her Shallow Valley home in season 5, which we also saw in the mindspace version of her Shallow Valley home in her happy place; and those we saw in season 5, many of which overlap as the set was re-used for 6x07. I’ve also noticed that the art department used many of these drawings for the drawings representing Clarke’s memories on her mindspace wall.)

Before I start listing the moments from Clarke’s memory wall - her mindspace version of the actual cell in Skybox she used to be locked in on the Ark - let’s compare the two different versions of this wall. The first one was seen in the very last scene of 6x06 Memento Mori - where we first learned Clarke was still alive (yeah, yeah, of course no one really bought it that she was dead ;) but it was still such a Hell yeah moment) and in 6x07 Nevermind.

But when we saw Clarke in her mindspace again in 6x10 Matryoshka, the walls were different: there were at least 3 new images that weren’t seen in 6x07, and many other images were moved around and placed in different ways. Which does make sense, as Clarke’s mindspace was reacting to her states of mind, so we should probably assume it was always changing, with different memories being more or less prominent at any given time.

And finally here are the identified images with side-by-side comparisons. Some were obvious and taken straight from the scenes (I've been told there's a software for that), others are a bit less straightforward (and several of them were also seen as Clarke's drawings in season 5).

I'm going to do them chronologically, not by episode but by when those things happened in Clarke's life.

Starting with the image of Clarke and Wells as children on the Ark (confirmed by Jason Rothenberg on Twitter). The closest thing in the show is the video of them Jaha watched in 1x12.

The next one was tricky as it's not a scene from the show either. It was first misidentified as Clarke watching what ALIE showed her in 3x16, nuclear plants melting on Earth, but that scene is shown in another drawing. It shows a young girl watching the Earth from the Ark. We've decided that this is young Clarke on the Ark. I used the Octavia flashback scene from 1x06 for comparison to show this is a window on the Ark and a view from there (not because it's the same scene - which it can't be,as this wouldn’t be Clarke’s memory). But the girl looks younger and is touching the window as if yearning for Earth.

Flashbacks in 1x03, a year before the Pilot: Abby and Jake during the happy times; Jake when Clarke overheard him tell Abby that Ark was dying and he'd go public with it; Wells when Clarke told him about it.

1x01 - there are more images from the Pilot than from any other episode.

The first scene of the show - the image on the floor in the mindspace version of Clarke's cell in Skybox is the same image she drew on the floor of her actual cell.

This portrait of Abby seems to represent the next scene where Abby told Clarke she was being sent to Earth. When the camera zoomed on it in 6x06, we heard the dialogue from that scene over it ("Clarke, I love you so much!" - "Mom?")

When the camera zoomed on this pic of Wells on the dropship in 6x07, we heard Wells' voice saying "Welcome back" as he did in that scene.

I've been told that the inscription from the Ark we see below is a Chinese proverb that means, more or less, "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

"We're back bitches!" twice - the second is from Clarke's POV. The first one was one of the drawings Josephine touched and we (and Josephine) heard an audio flashback of it and this, uh, memorable line.

Mount Weather - the first time Clarke saw it, after landing.

I spot the same image among Clarke's drawings we saw in her Shallow Valley home in season 5, though it was really tiny in the background.

More scenes from the Pilot:

1x03

It's a pity that the plan to have Eli Goree guest star in 6x07 didn't work out, but at least we had many Wells images and even in the voice memories - I clearly heard Clarke telling him "How can you forgive me?"/"I blamed you because my father's dead and it's my mother's fault."

1x04 Finn with one of the pencils from the shelter he found, trying to impress Clarke.

1x05 Brief time of Clarke being happy and infatuated, right before Raven arrived and her heart got broken for the first time.

There was a bit of disagreement about this Bellamy image (or images). It shows up as a part of the drawing of him torturing Lincoln in the scene from 1x07 on one of the walls, but it also appears on its own on the ceiling:

@SheiGarche believes that, since this appears as a part of the Lincoln torture scene, the Bellamy image must be from that episode. However, while the rest of the scene 100% matches the 1x07 scene, Bellamy's image doesn't match - in posture or expression - anything from that episode. On the other hand, especially when you look at the Bellamy image on its own, as it is on the ceiling, it looks most like a drawing based on the scene from 1x02 - "I heard you have a gun''...

I think that the ceiling drawing represents season 1 Bellamy in general, and was drawn based on the 1x02 scene. OTOH, the art department made the 1x07 image from the 1x07 scene but couldn't get a good Bellamy angle so they edited in that same Bellamy image in. You decide.

https://youtu.be/Cj37TWjBwvE?t=59

A Raven portrait, which is probably not about any particular scene (some images just represent certain characters), but it most closely matches this love-triangle moment from 1x08.

The same portrait was seen as one of Clarke's drawings in season 5.

1x09 - negotiations with Anya and the Grounders on the bridge. Also the first time Clarke has ever seen horses in real life.

1x13

Probably some of the Grounder warriors who got burned in the Ring of Fire, but this scene clearly indicated that Clarke was thinking about closing the door on Finn and Bellamy and that they may have been burned.

2x01

This image gave us so much trouble, until it turned out it was just a random woman from Mount Weather who yelled "CONTAINMENT BREACH!" when Clarke entered the mess hall dragging Maya and saw all the people sitting there.

Another one of character portraits that are probably not important for any particular scene or moment. But going by Miller's hair and facial hair, it can only be season 2 Miller at the time he and Clarke were both in MW (this is from 2x02).

Ending of 2x02:

2x03 - Escape from Mount Weather

2x04 Anya after Clarke beat the crap out of her and managed to win their fight. "You fought well".

Now a few more character portraits. This image of Raven with a brace doesn't 100% fit a scene from the show, but it looks a lot like this promo pic of her - except for her red jacket, which she wore in 2x05 when Clarke first saw her with a leg brace.

Since Jaha has a beard and hair, it can only be from season 2 or 3, which limits it to 2x07 or 3x16, the only times he and Clarke were in the same place. I used 2x07 image of non-chipped Jaha, when he came to Camp him and argued for Arkers leaving, pitting him against Clarke,as this would’ve meant abandoning her friends to their fate in MW.

Portrait of Indra - also probably not about any particular scene, but it looks like their first meeting in 2x07. It was also among Clarke's drawings in season 5.

2x08 This image is one of the few that were not seen on the memory wall in 6x07, but appeared in 6x10. Maybe it's because the ALIE projection said in 6x07 her most painful memories were not on the wall - and the scene of Clarke killing Finn was only seen represented in her dark place by the pole and knife. Maybe she was able to process some of those memories better by 6x10?

2x09 Raven holding Finn’s dead body

This profile of Lexa is probably not from any particular scene, but a general image of the warrior leader/ally Lexa from S2. I used the scene of her making a speech in 2x15, but there were scenes in 2x09 (like when she told Clarke that Love is weakness) that looked similar.

2x10 Well, an attack by giant mutant gorilla would be pretty memorable to anyone.

2x11 I previously thought this image of people in radiation suits (also seen among Clarke's drawings in S5) was from 4x12/13, but looking more closely, now I think these are Mount Weather Ground unit guards - specifically, are Emerson and the other Mountain Man who tried to assassinate Clarke in 2x11. The outfits, helmets, guns are the closest match.

2x12 Clarke's guilt over letting the MW missile drop on the people in Tondc was referenced not just in 6x07 when her projection of Octavia called her out on writing her off there, but also in 6x10:

Josephine: I wasn't always like this.

Clarke: I know the feeling. I mean, look around you.

*Josephine looks at this big image on the wall*

2x15 - breaching the Mount Weather door

I'm about 95% sure that this picture of Lexa is her betrayal in 2x15.

2x16:

"Together" - "Together"

3x01 The most important character in the show! LOL

...seriously though, this little bunny (? who looks more like a squirrel in the drawing?) that Clarke used as a bait to catch a panther, stands for the 3 months Clarke spent in wilderness.

The only image of Niylah on the wall. It's the scene when she lied to protect Clarke when Roan and a bounty hunter came looking for her.

Another character portrait not related to a specific scene, and another one that was seen as one of Clarke's drawings hanging in her Shallow Valley home in S5. Going by the hair and beard, it's seasons 3-4 Kane, so I used the scene of his and Abby's meeting with Clarke in 3x03.

3x04

3x07 - there are 3 images of Lexa from this episode

Lexa smiling during the talk in which she asked Clarke to stay - this is the most prominent of the images of Lexa (one of the images that appear multiple times on the wall + had a flashback). Seems these softer moments are larger in Clarke's mind than warrior/leader Lexa.

The second most prominent image of Lexa (one of the pictures the camera zoomed in on in 6x06, when we also heard the dialogue among the audio memories - "Can we talk about something else?" - "We don't have to talk at all").

and Lexa right after she was shot by Titus.

3x11 What turned out to be the most important of all Clarke's memories, as it contained info on the neural mesh and how Raven was freed from ALIE and that Clarke has to remove from the wall and hide from Josephine.

3x13 Luna, refusing the Flame

3x15 When Clarke didn't break and give ALIE the password and it almost cost her her mother's life. This drawing was previously misidentified as Murphy being hanged in S1 - some thought there were two hanging scenes, but there's just one and it's clearly indoors.

3x16 - there are several scenes from the City of Light. Including the image of the COL itself. You can see even see the tiny figures of Lexa and the people she's fighting.

What ALIE showed Clarke: the Earth, full of nuclear plants melting, telling her about the upcoming Praimfaya.

Clarke pulling the kill switch and destroying COL

One of the first things Clarke saw after returning from the City of Light was Murphy is one of his most heroic moments - pumping Ontari's heart so Clarke could take the Flame.

4x01

This one seems a bit random: it's a moment when Indra came and hugged Kane while Octavia, Clarke, Bellamy and Abby were already there in the Grounder shrine - but I think it's important as the scene when they all discussed what to do in the situation and Clarke told them all about Praimfaya.

Roan, after agreeing to an alliance because of Praimfaya, giving a public speech in Polis to say that 'an attack against the 13th clan is an attack on all of us'.

The drawing of Arkadia is another one that was hanging in Clarke's Shallow Valley home in season 5 - and was also seen in the mindspace version of that home in 6x07. I used a scene from 4x03.

4x04 There are 3 scenes from this episode, and all of them have to do with Jasper. The first two are two of Jasper's pranks: "floating" Jaha, and the prank Jasper pulled on Clarke. But the mood of the latter got ruined because he had already found the List before Clarke came in. (Josephine touched this drawing briefly in 6x07 and we heard the audio flashback: (Monty: "Clarke, wait..." - Clarke: "Really?" )

And what happened right after, in the same scene, when Jasper started telling everyone present about the List. (Jasper's angry comments can also be heard clearly among the mix of voices at the beginning of 6x07 - more about that later)

The portrait of Emori is probably from 4x07, when they had their first major interaction. It was also one of Clarke's drawings that could be glimpsed in the background in S5.

Skip the next one if you don't want to see an image of a person dying a gruesome and painful death in a radiation chamber.

4x08 The unfortunate Grounder thief from the Rock Line clan whose name we never learned, at the moment of his death.

4x10 Octavia in the Conclave - more of a symbolic representation (with the sigils around her). This was a very prominent drawing in Clarke's sketchbook that we saw a couple of times in season 5.

4x11 Another one of the 3 images that weren't seen in 6x07 but were in the second version of the memory wall, in 6x10 - Clarke pointing a gun at Bellamy to stop him from opening the bunker door, before she broke down and cried. The drawing even shows Clarke’s hand with a gun.

4x12 the rocket in Becca's lab

4x13 Clarke being left behind in Praimfaya and watching her friends leave while she was aligning the satellite dish so they could get to the Ring and survive.

This was also another prominent drawing from Clarke's sketchbook we saw in season 5.

There's another scene from 4x13, but that one happens 6 years later, so I'll come back to it later...

5x01 Post-Praimfaya

Polis was Clarke's destination after she left Becca's lab - trying and failing to open the door of the bunker after the temple had collapsed on it. Then realizing she'll be alone for at least 5 years.

Then she went to Arkadia, where she only found "ghosts" - the chest with Maya's music player, Jasper's goggles and his letter to Monty (as we saw in the flashback in Clarke's "dark place", where the chest played an important role).

The bird that kind of tried to eat Clarke (?), showed Clarke where Eden was, and then got thanked, shot and eaten by Clarke.

Shallow Valley

This image is both a memory of 6 year old Madi (not the moment they met, but when Clarke was drawing her while she was fishing), of Clarke drawing her and of the drawing she made and gave Madi to make friends with her.

Madi and Clarke, but some 6 years later. This image was prominent of at the beginning of 6x07 when we saw a flashback of it when Clarke touched it ("I'm sorry they left without you" - "If I was with them, I never would've met you").

4x13 - 2199 days after Praimfaya: Gagarin transport ship, the moment when Clarke saw it clearly and realized it wasn't the ship she was hoping for ("Never mind, I see you"), but one to be afraid of.

5x03 - Makes snse that images of Diyoza, Shaw and McCreary are all from the episode where they captured and tortured Clarke.

5x04

Bellamy reuniting with Clarke.

Coming out of the bunker.

5x06 - Madi watching Octavia practice.

5x09 - There were quite a few changes between the memory wall in 6x07 and 6x10, and the most obvious one was seen right after Clarke woke up in her mindspace - the big image of Bellamy when Octavia arrested him and right before Clarke left him at her mercy in Polis.

5x12 - This is one of the rare drawings that doesn’t fully represent a memory correctly as Clarke saw it. But it makes sense to me that Clarke remembers it this way - seeing Madi in pain when she zapped the shock collar to stop her from leaving and going to war. But in fact, the screenshot shows Madi shocked that Clarke put a shock collar on her. Clarke closed her eyes and had her back turned to Madi, because she couldn’t watch it when she actually zapped the shock collar, and only heard her scream.

This was another drawing Josephine touched and had a flashback of (we heard Madi screaming and Clarke saying “I won’t let you die in this war”), commenting "Child abuse dressed up as protection!"

5x13 - Clarke pulling the lever to close the door of the Gagarin ship, after waiting until the last moment for Bellamy to come in, closing the door after Bellamy, Monty, Emori and Murphy were inside and the missiles were already hitting the Earth.

One last image. It's clearly Madi, and with the horizontal placement of the drawing, I thought it was Clarke putting Madi in cryo. But it turns out the same image - only vertical - was one of her drawings she had in Shallow Valley in season 5... so, I don't know.

There are other images that we couldn't link to anything specific or weren't sure. Mostly locations, objects and nature images. 1) A forest? 2) Waterfall/rocky shore? 3) Rubble?)

If anyone identifies any of them or notice other images or anything else, I’ll be editing and reblogging this post.

BONUS - audio memories

ending scene of 6x06

vimeo

Lines I can hear:

over the image of Abby: Abby and Clarke in 1x01: "Clarke, I love you so much!" - "Mom?"

"I'm scared"? - this line can be heard clearly but I don’t know who it is. It sounds like a child, but I don’t thin Madi or Charlotte ever said it.

Finn in 1x01 when they see the deer: "No animals, eh?"

Madi in 5x11: "I love you, Clarke" (the entire line was “...but we’re on the wrong side of this war”

Clarke to Wells in 1x03, after learning the truth: "How can you forgive me?"

Madi to Clarke in 5x01, during the scene by the fire: "I'm sorry they left without you."

Bellamy trying to convince Clarke not to leave in 2x16 “You don’t have to do this alone”.

Clarke to Madi in 5x12, as she puts a shock collar on her: "I will not let you die in this war!"

over the image of Lexa in bed with Clarke - Lexa and Clarke in 3x07: "Can we talk about something else?” - We don't have to talk at all."

over the image of Bellamy: Bellamy to Lincoln in 1x07: "You're gonna give us the antidote or you're gonna wish you had". Other lines whispered in the background:

Bellamy in 2x16: "(If you want forgiveness) I'll give that to you"

Bellamy during his reunion with Clarke in 5x04: "Clarke, you saved us all."

"This is how we get to peace" (sounds like Bellamy but Clarke was the one who actually said it in 5x08)

Bellamy in 1x07: "Who we are and who we have to be to survive are two different things."

opening scene of 6x07

vimeo

Clarke to Wells in 1x03: “I blamed you because my father’s dead and it’s my mother’s fault” (heard while Clarke is looking at the wall with the image of her parents, among others)

(over the image of Wells) Bellamy: “Who else knows about this?” (in 1x04, when Clarke realized one of the Delinquents had killed Wells)

(also over the image of Wells) Wells: “Welcome back!” (1x01)

(over the image of Roan & Lexa fighting in 3x04: “It’s always something with you!” – Roan to Clarke in 4x01

we also hear Lexa’s and Roan’s grunts during their fight

(over the two images of Madi) Madi (5x11): “I love you, Clarke”

Madi screaming when Clarke zaps the shock collar in 5x12

Two angry lines by Jasper are overlapping as the camera slides from Lexa to Bellamy:

as we see Lexa in focus: “Truth hurts” - Jasper in 3x11, after ALIE!Raven blamed her for the deaths of Jake, Wells, Finn & Lexa

as we see Bellamy in focus: “I found your list. I guess we know who really matters to you” (Jasper in 4x04)

Madi in 5x12: “I’m not a child anymore, Clarke. I’m the Commander, and my people are dying”

(ETA) Jasper yelling “We are Apogee!” and Clarke, Octavia, Monty and Finn yelling happily with him, just before he gets speared in the Pilot

Clarke in 3x11: “I let her get to me.”

the flashback to Madi and Clarke by the fire in 5x01 “I’m sorry they left without you” - “If I was with them, I never would have met you”

more of Jasper’s ranting in 3x11: “I was going to save everyone!” (talking about his plans in 2x16 to kill Cage)

flashback to the Pilot, as we see the drawing on the floor: “Prisoner 319, face the wall!” Some of the lower volume lines in the background, which can only be identified after the background noise was removed:

Bellamy to Clarke in 3x11, after ALIE!Raven had made her lost it: “I’ll let her beat me up for a while.”

ALIE-controlled Raven yelling “Let me go!” in 3x11, when she’s trying to find out the location and help ALIE, and everyone grabs her and subdues her

Octavia in 2x16: “I know where my loyalties lie!”

Bellamy in 5x09, when he brought Madi to see Clarke in her cell: “Clarke, this isn’t goodbye”.

I also hear someone yelling "Octavia!", and mentions of Jasper’s and Jaha’s names.

Josephine and Clarke in 6x07

vimeo

Josephine touching images and we hear flashbacks of scenes from 1x01 (”We’re back, bitches!), 5x12 (Madi screaming when Clarke puts a shock collar and Clarke saying “I won’t let you die in this war”) and 4x04 (”Clarke, wait...” - “Really?” when Clarke got covered in foam as Jasper pranked her). There are many other whispered lines I don't recognize.

In 6x10, however, everything was mixed up - Clarke's and Josephine's memories were all mashed up, because the boundaries between their minds were disappearing - so it’s pretty much impossible to make out anything. But Clarke’s memories are probably the same mix as in 6x07, because I can still hear Wells saying "Welcome back".

vimeo

If anyone notices something I did not, please tell - I will edit this post with any new info!

#the 100 #clarke's mind space #clarke's memories #clarke griffin #the 100 6x07 #nevermind #the 100 season 6 #the 100 6x10 #matryoshka

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