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#shadow and bone writing stuff
comfreyhollywings · 1 year
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soldier, prince, darling.
what is a relationship without a prior motivation to lead you forward? what is a relationship without your identity? if this person were to be stripped away from your life, would you still have an internal compass? an ambition? 
i once read a story about the rat king and the nutcracker. the clocksmith and how he created his characters. it resounded in my head when i had said to a friend of mine through discord that:
‘while im not discounting that there are things in this world left to fate/universe, we can hope for it to be kind all we like but if we're not taking agency.. then it leaves the question if it's truly beneficial for us. we can only leave things at the hand of fate for so long until we realize we're stagnating, i guess.’ 
in the clocksmith, the whole plot of this story is how a nutcracker comes to life by this girl named clara. i believe it took inspiration from the actual fairytale of the nutcracker, but it took a twist. the nutcracker was imagined so much by others, he had no real identity. first it was from clara, and then her brother. when left to himself; the narrative took a spin where he took on the narrative himself. that his clocksmith truly did love him. as a father. 
then he became a real boy.
something about the story struck me hard then. it still applies now, where i feel more puppet and marionette strings rather than a real human girl. 
at one point; and still to this day, i believe i relate to the nutcracker. i have realized you can receive all the compliments you’d like at once; people can tell you what you’d like to hear. but it still isn’t enough. it isn’t enough to fill in the emptiness, the hollow inside your heart demanding for more. 
are you my soldier? are you my prince?
the words still ring in my head. i get complimented for my looks; a pretty flower in the midst of my relationships. but nothing but that. a flower. 
are you my darling?
i..
i’m nothing. 
i’m neither solider nor prince. i’m not a darling. so who would i be devoid of someone telling me what i am? all this time, i had been pleading for someone to tell me “who am i? what am i? what is my purpose in this world?” and the answers have all varied. 
i think maybe i’m me. i’m me without having to put a label on it. i’m not for everyone to enjoy and that’s okay. i’m not a flower. i’m me. this is a fully realized human being, not a fucking flower for people to admire. everyone is not meant to adore me nor like me. i’m not a thing, i’m a person. 
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have you heard of the fairytale of the nightingale? this story talks about a rather plain nightingale singing the most beautiful songs, garnering the attention of others until an invention rivaled it. a fake bird, bejeweled and gilded in gold recording back waltzes rather than the original nightingale songs. the original nightingale, disliking it though adorned with jewelry itself on its plain form, left its cage immediately. 
a cage is a cage despite its appearance. it may seem comfy with gilded golden seams over it, but it is still doing harm. no matter how beautiful it may seem. 
does this relationship, my fantasy of a relationship, cage me or set me free?
i believe only i can find the answer for that. 
you can’t be truly living if you’re not living for yourself. 
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imafuckinggrimreaper · 2 months
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wesper wesper wesper for life!!
i mean i love jes and i love wy and then i love the two of them loving each other so much more!
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bonefall · 5 months
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Hi there, as an epileptic person I’m so happy to see your changes to Shadowsight’s character (I was SO disappointed that they removed his seizures!) and that you have a whole section dedicated to it in the medicines overview! It means so much to me to have such genuine representation. The only little note I have is that the technical term for a grand-mal seizure is “tonic-clonic,” not clonic-tonic! Other than that you have some really great and well-researched information ^^
Oh shoot, I didn't realize the order was important! Can you tell me why it should be tonic-clonic and spelling it as clonic-tonic should be avoided, so I can share?
With Shadowsight and Sorreltail, I did my research by looking at educational not-for-profits and trying to make sure to listen to firsthand accounts of what it's like to have it, so that the portrayal was more based in life than medical journals. I'm pretty sure I have an old post floating around somewhere with a bunch of sources and links, in addition to the herb guide you saw.
It really is such a shame they did that with Shadowsight specifically :/ you're not the first to pass through thanking me for putting his epilepsy back. I was recently revisiting the earlier books of TBC to answer an ask (ballooned into an essay) and, man, seeing all the setup, with what I know now, utterly wasted is just devastating.
What I mean is, in Book 1, they're describing his auras from his perspective and how there IS a difference between his seizure-visions and his Ashfur-visions. They're establishing that he DID always have epilepsy, it's just ASHFUR that's new. That was a MAJOR hint that something was wrong! The epilepsy was always part of him, but the possessions weren't!
But then, in Book 4, the team unceremoniously decides that no, it was Ashfur all along. Even the seizures. GoodBYE epilepsy! It was literally just a magic spirit.
Though the "seizures give visions" trope is a bit problematic on its own (like "Blind Seer"), I feel like it's even worse to set up representation, and then just yank it away midway through an arc. Like they couldn't just have him lose the visions but keep the seizures.
Frustrating. But, well, this is MY kitchen and I get to decide the disability rep.
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aphroditestummyrolls · 3 months
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If you’re looking to avoid the wild oscillation of mischaracterising wylan van eck (the pendulum between uwu baby and mini kaz), it helps to just… stop blanket-labelling behaviour. Unlearn the idea of something being blank-“coded”— these things are fun and funny when they’re memes, but if you’re writing the character (or ANY character), stop approaching things like a handful of moments with limited context can determine what “type” of person he is.
Like… just let him be a person. Keep his backstory and his motivations throughout your story in mind as you take him from point a to point b to point c, and explore his thoughts and his reactions.
I don’t know, maybe that sounds tedious, but it’s one of my favourite parts of character work, and it’s a pretty huge part of writing. I honestly don’t understand how you can like writing and not want to do that, but I digress. If you’re looking to understand a character more completely, though, it helps to take the TikTok Typology of Characters out of your brain, and see where wylan takes you when you stop judging his every move so hard.
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true-bluesargent · 6 months
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how are people deluding themselves that the six of crows spinoff could have in any way shape or form been faithful to the books. it's already so ridiculous how they were like "guys sorry shadow and bone season 2 sucks BUT if you want us to make a six of crows show that we promise will actually be good then we need renewal!!!!" like first of all why would we trust you to make a good six of crows show after this and second of all. the existence of shadow and bone netflix makes a good six of crows adaptation impossible anyway! the casting is not good (no matter how much you try to convince yourself that 30-year-old, able-bodied freddy carter is the perfect kaz brekker), and they used up all of the meaningful scenes from six of crows and crooked kingdom as surface level throwaway moments in season 2. i don't know how people can't see that the end of shadow and bone season 2 did NOT in any way set up the story ready for the ice court heist. why would inej even need to participate in the heist now? she's free she is killing slavers on a pirate ship that was her ENDING at the end of crooked kingdom. wylan and jesper are already together and happy so there's no reason for jesper to join the heist out of misplaced love and loyalty to kaz, and he could get money to pay off his gambling debts from smaller jobs in ketterdam. we already saw kaz's entire backstory and he already GOT REVENGE ON PEKKA ROLLINS. that is literally his primary motivation for the entire duology so why would he now go on a ridiculously dangerous and near-impossible heist when he got what he wanted already and the money doesn't matter to him anymore. and nina only wanted to do the heist in the first place to help get matthias out of hellgate, but if nobody else needs or wants to do anything about it what the hell would be the point. in conclusion it's good that they didn't get to make a six of crows spin off show because it would have fucking sucked! just reread the books
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Sign the petition: Stop Tumblr's Community Labels from destroying community spaces
SIGN THE PETITION HERE!
TL;DR: Community Labels have become the newest form of cyber harassment on Tumblr.com. While the system is suitable in its conceptual form, in practice it has been shown to actively harm the very communities it claims to be protecting. We submit this petition as a request to Tumblr.com to review their Community Labels system and effect change that protects one of – if not the – major attractions of this platform.
Community Labels were announced by Tumblr.com’s staff account on the 27th of September, 2022. Cited as a desire for users to “be able to fully express themselves while also having control over what they encounter on their dashboards”, this move is just one step of many that the social media platform has taken to regulate the presence of NSFW – an internet colloquialism that stands for ‘not safe for work’ – content, from fanart, images, GIFs, fan-fiction and more. This encapsulates a broad range of subject matter deemed hazardous for underage persons to interact with, including but not limited to violence, substance use and sexual themes. The set-up of this function coincides with all Tumblr blogs – both newly-made and existing – being set to ‘default’, in which all mature content is hidden unless these settings are manually adjusted. Indeed, it is an effective idea; Community Labels would, in theory, allow minors and adults to coexist in the same space without the eventuation of crossover, the consequences of which range from questionably moral to borderline unlawful.
In theory.
There is no doubt that Tumblr staff had the best of intentions in launching what is effectively a ‘child lock’ system. However, what has resulted from the rollout of Labels does not align with the intended purpose as outlined above. Across the platform, thousands of creators are experiencing what can only be described as a ‘weaponising’ of community labels; one of the key functions of this program allows other users to report content as ‘missing a Community Label’, and the subsequent application of these supposed ‘missing’ Labels is swift and often devastating. In a community that relies so heavily on engagement, the impact of labelling by its very nature prevents the uninformed user from viewing content that is often lovingly crafted over hours on end, ultimately intended for a wider audience to see and appreciate.
There are two major design flaws in Tumblr’s approach to a Community Labels system: one, that a large proportion of users are unaware of the platform’s decision to conceal labelled content as a default blog setting; and two, that there appears to be virtually no discrimination when it comes to the application of Labels to reported content. Most new arrivals to the platform are uninformed of the default setting, raising questions as to whether or not Staff have appropriately informed users of this change. But what is more concerning is the manner in which reported content is dealt with.
It has become custom for individuals to target content creators – due to a range of reasons, but often personal and inflammatory in nature – by mass-reporting their work. It seems that, due to the speed and inaccuracy in which Labels are applied, a certain threshold reached results in an automatic Label being added. Because of this, engagement with work that is key to facilitating the growth and development of fan spaces online is nosediving and content creators are reporting decreases in engagement across the site.
Community Labels have become the newest form of cyber harassment on Tumblr.com. While the system is suitable in its conceptual form, in practice it has been shown to actively harm the very communities it claims to be protecting. So, what should be done about this?
Here are some suggestions:
The default setting should only be applied to accounts that are under 18.
The default setting should be applied across all accounts, but this should blur posts rather than conceal them completely for users who are above 18 years of age.
More advertisement of this change should be made available to users, new and existing – pop-ups in account settings, inboxes, DMs, whatever can be reasonably effected to achieve this.
Remove the ability for other users to suggest Community Labels, or ban accounts who mass-report content across a period of time from accessing this function.
These are but some changes that could be made, and are by no means an exhaustive list of potential responses to this rising issue. But something must be done.
We, the content creators, the backbone of fandom spaces in the modern age, have had enough. It is already difficult to navigate social media as a person who puts their effort and hard work out for the public’s judgement; we do not also need to contend with this new form of persecution and censorship.
We submit this petition as a request to Tumblr.com to review their Community Labels system and effect change that protects one of – if not the – major attractions of this platform.
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Prompt: “He doesn't love me. He's not that stupid.”
Song: Rosyln - Bon Iver
For Tolya x Reader please!! could be with Tamar and he overhears etc. or something else x
By Stars - Tolya Yul Bataar
Yes.
Is this sad or angsty, I honestly cant even tell anymore it is my default.
Content Warnings: No Beta/Proof Reading, Feelings???
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"This is a celebration," Jesper reminds you, handing you a drink.
You take it, nod at him and hope his attention will return to Wylan, but Tamar is watching you like a hawk. She has been trying to decipher exactly what you're thinking since the burning of The Darkling's body.
She'd rather hoped some of that infectious hope and joy her brother was expressing would have reached you by now. But you were still quiet.
She has her best guess as to why. Tamar, no stranger to romance, to the eyes that linger longer than they should. To the way a heart beats that much faster when they move near. To the way a tone can change when speaking a name. Tolya may be the one to read the high romances of poetry but Tamar is the one to know them, to recognise them.
And you have been holding your breath, keeping your self close, arms tight across your chest, focusing on keeping your heartbeat as calm as you can, trying not to give yourself away.
Tolya smiles at you from his seat and there it is, that leap in your chest and Tamar's guess has all the evidence she needs.
"Okay," Jesper smiles, another drink in, "go on then, read us something you gentle giant."
Tolya laughs and looks up from his book. "From this?" he asks.
"From a confession if you like," Jesper says, leaning back and into Wylan who is watching him with those bright adoring eyes of his. Had you ever had doubt in love, the time spent with the crows would have swayed any doubt. Nina's dedication to freeing her love. The selfless and understanding quiet of the love Kaz and Inej clearly share. And the love that is bright and shining between Jesper and Wylan, so bright even through all of his obliviousness Tolya noticed.
"I still recall the wondrous moment: When you appeared before my sight As though a brief and fleeting omen, Pure phantom in enchanting light," Tolya reads aloud. Wylan turns his eyes from Jesper to smile at Tolya.
"You know I find that quite wonderful," Wylan states.
"Don't encourage him," Tamar groans. "He will start recalling from memory."
"If you insist sister," Tolya's tone is jovial and light and Tamar tries to brush his words away with a hand and a glare, but it does not discourage him. "In ecstasy the heart is beating, Old joys for it anew revive; Inspired and Saints-filled, it is greeting The fire, and tears, and love alive."
"Excuse me," you say getting up. Tolya's eyes follow you as you leave, but it's Tamar who walks out the door behind you.
"You are upset," Tamar says, joining you by the wall outside.
"I am not," you attempt to lie.
"Well I could've told you that isn't true without the ability to listen to your heartbeat," Tamar says. She bumps your shoulder gently, a reassuring gesture, a familiar one. "Talk to me."
"There's not much to talk about," you say.
"Because you're stubborn and want to keep your feelings to yourself or because he is my brother?" she asks out right. You whip your head to the side to look at her and she shrugs it off, giving a knowing look up to the sky. "I am not too wrapped up in the pretty women to ignore those around me."
"Nadia is very pretty," you say, trying you deflect.
"I am surprised you noticed, I thought you only had eyes for my brother."
"I don't have eyes for your brother."
"Oh, and the second lie so far," Tamar says, "come on, you don't have to lie to me, or to you, if it runs that deep."
"I... what is the point?" You ask.
"You have feelings and they're clearly affecting you, that's the point," Tamar says.
"That's my own fault," you say.
"Walk me through it," Tamar insists. You want to tell her to leave it be, but Tamar is persistent. And also brutally honest, so maybe hearing the need to move past and move on from her mouth instead of just the voice in your head will finally do the trick.
"We made it," you say quietly.
"We did," she smiles.
"We... all made it," you reiterate.
"By the Saints."
"And he was so happy and so proud and he had," you inhale deeply, "and he shares that joy so willingly."
"He is always himself," Tamar agrees, her eyes are watching your smaller movements, listening to the shuddering of your breath. She wants to help, to calm you down, to push off your nerves, but you asked long ago for no interference and she respects that. You want to feel what you feel, even now, even when you don't.
"So when he said he was so glad that I was okay, and he wrapped his arms around me, I forgot how to breathe, and for one- blindingly stupid moment I thought... I don't know what I thought, and it doesn't matter because it wasn't real."
"I wouldn't assume to know my brothers feelings so easily," Tamar says, "he might surprise you."
"Tamar, I fell in love with your brother a long time ago, he does nothing but surprise me," you say. Tamar tilts her head impressed at the honesty, impressed more at the bluntness.
"You cannot know his mind without talking to him," Tamar says.
“He doesn't love me. He's not that stupid.”
"To love you isn't stupid," she says, "besides if he did not love you, that would not be about you. I am somewhat convinced my brother is not built that way."
"Between his books and his faith what more could he need?" you ask.
"You're asking the wrong person," Tamar points out.
"I am not asking," you reply, "not really."
He held on just a moment longer than you thought he would, smiling down at you and that was it took for your hopes to jump high above your expectations, and come crashing down into you when he finally let you go. You do not know what you thought would happen, that you would win, all make it out alive and finally the timing would be right, things would be different, you would know it because you would feel it in the way he looks at you. But all you feel is this regret at letting yourself think it would change, letting yourself be disappointed in something that you knew would never happen. Your love for Tolya did not need to be requited but in the moments you hoped it would be, you had broken your own heart.
"For someone who reads so much of romance, with such a true admiration for the poetics of love, my brother is not always aware enough to recognise it, I have watched the same two lovestruck fools dance around each other for the same time that he has, and he has seen nothing where I have seen all that was unsaid but equally wanted," Tamar gestures. "He would not presume to know your feelings for him, because he sees love as something on a page, between the words and the mind. I think he has never considered it as something he might do, but that isn't to say he can't."
"I do not think you give him enough credit, you should have seen him with Jesper and Wylan," you state.
"A blind man could see what was happening between Jesper and Wylan," Tamar offers. "I think you should talk to him."
"I do not wish to waste my time Tamar, and it would be better that he know not at all, keep him in this blissful ignorance instead of him feeling some obligation to be delicate around me," you say.
"My brother would not treat you differently out of pity, his feelings are only ever genuine, and his actions intentional," Tamar defends.
"I do not want him to see me differently, and I do not want to hurt myself further, please let me wallow in peace," you say. Tamar sighs.
"You won't come back inside?" she asks.
"To listen to him read poems about love, show the beauty of romance, and wish for something else?" you ask. "No I shall wait for this feeling to pass, as it will pass, and I can be normal for him again."
Tamar just shakes her head, and says nothing else as she leaves.
You stare up and the sky is so dark and the stars so bright that that ring of light is soaking into the darkness, giving the stars a bigger brighter saturation, and you just want to breathe the cold air in and deep better. But you now just feel alone.
You feel the movement behind you before you hear the approach. "Tamar I have nothing more to say about it," you say.
"Not Tamar," comes Tolya's voice and startles you. You turn to look at him and he is so much closer than you realised, you want to chastise yourself for not noticing, for letting your guard so completely down.
But you were always like that with Tolya.
"I did not mean to upset you," Tolya says.
"How much did you hear?" you ask, leaning back on the balls of your feet, the guilt of all you may have put on him pulling at you. He goes to speak but his eyes give him away. "So everything." You sigh. "it's not your fault Tolya. My feelings are my responsibility."
"And so are mine," he says, coming to stand beside you as Tamar had before him. "You know, for all my love of poetry, I cannot claim to have felt what these poets have in their ways."
"Tolya, you don't have to explain," you say quickly, "I did not mean to put this on you-,"
"You are putting nothing on me," he states.
"I am not asking you to love me," you say, looking at your hands, begging them to stay steady.
"I know you're not, but I am not telling you I don't," he says. You look at him now, and his eyes are soft and golden, and his expression kind and light. He looks like the things poetry talks about, by the light of the starred night. "I care about you, and I don't know if it's in the way you want me to, but I don't know if I have ever felt that way, or if I will ever feel that way, but I need you to know that in my way, in all the ways I know how I do love you." You give him a weak smile and he feels your heartbeat steady for the first time all day. "Maybe I am just that stupid."
"You heard that?" You ask, relaxing enough to allow your shoulders to lean against him.
"I can pretend I didn't if you like," he offers. You laugh, and it's gentle, like the moment.
"I loved you: love may not have died
completely in my soul,
but don’t let it disturb you,
I don’t wish you any pain," you recite, your breath standing cold in the air, but the feeling ever warmer than before.
"I loved you without hope or voice," Tolya continues.
with diffidence, jealousy,
as tenderly, truly, as Saints grant
you may be loved again."
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stromuprisahat · 5 months
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Do you think Aleksander actually liked Alina apart from the whole sun summoner thing?
That's kinda the heart of the issue with him- he caught feelings, when he needed to keep his head clear.
I've answered similar questions before, but to keep it short he DID have genuine feelings for her, but both his versions had trouble to see her true selfish, short-sighted self and while one grew to love an idea of what she could become, the other became (due to incredibly shitty writing) straight-up delusional about her goals and personality, whipped to the point he kept crawling back to her for more hatred and abuse.
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kaiwrites-if · 1 year
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With a Musketeers IF joining the gang (@theinseparables-if), I would like to let everyone know that there is a BBC series called The Musketeers which stars (among others) Santiago Cabrera as Aramis (aka Lancelot from BBC Merlin) looking very good 👀
It’s not the best show, but it’s a definite comfort show (pretty much like Merlin I guess).
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astrhae · 1 year
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with everything to win
“The Prince learned to play the flute when he was three,” Jesper offered, leaning on the ship’s railing beside him. “And the piano, when he was five.” Wylan turned to him, half-amused. “Really? The piano, me?” “Never a quiet night at the palace,” he nodded. Maybe that was why Jesper was so horrible with silences, now. Maybe that was why he still woke up humming that same song, sometimes, that same lament for the lost Prince. --------------- Or, five years ago the Kerch monarchy fell, Kaz will stop at nothing for the thirty million kruge reward to find the lost Prince, and Jesper stumbles onto the perfect fake.
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greensaplinggrace · 1 year
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rewatching and rereading sab is so enlightening honestly because the darkling isn’t nearly as bad as fandom makes him out to be. sometimes I forget how bad the fandom echo chamber can be
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crimeronan · 5 months
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ugh i really am kind of fucking devastated about shadow and bone. it's not even about wanting to see specific book moments with specific blorbos, even tho there were in fact So Many storylines that the varying actors never got to play with the way they deserved to..... i just.
i liked the writing so much.
:(
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seidenbros · 10 months
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I will forever be sorry for the fanfics I didn't finish
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youremyonlyhope · 1 year
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In Defense of Tolya/Inej
(A long rambling essay exploring asexuality, "shipping wars," and the effect that constant cancellations has had on fandom. 4600 words. I'm not even sorry that it's long. There's a tldr at the end.)
Let's start this off by saying I am asexual. Or demisexual... greysexual... aceflux... the point is I am on the asexual spectrum. I don't know where precisely. I don't personally think it really matters for me to specifically define it. I am somewhere over there. I also consider myself to be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum (for that one I'm 90% sure I lean toward greyromantic).
All of this is to say: asexuality and aromanticism are both spectrums. They are umbrella terms. There are subgroups within them to help describe the range of the spectrum, but if people want to just use asexual or aromantic to describe themselves then they can. Where I fall is different from where someone else falls, and that's different from where another person falls, and that's probably different from the person reading this if you are ace and/or aro too. And it's different for Tolya. There isn't one aroace experience and there isn't one type of aroace representation.
A little more about me. I am also mixed race. More specifically Black and white like Jesper, but mixed people of all races know the shared experiences of feeling like we're between two worlds. It's not as obvious in the show (I can't remember if it's even mentioned but I can see that some fans don't seem to know), but in in the books Tamar and Tolya are half-Shu and half-Ravkan. Also, I am a twin. I am a girl with a boy twin. My twin brother is a foot taller than me. So, Tamar and Tolya's existence in the Grishaverse speak to MY SOUL. Tamar, Tolya, and Jesper make me feel like so many parts of myself are represented on these pages.
Moving on from my background. Just another reminder that ace is a spectrum. Aro is a spectrum. Life. Is. A. Spectrum.
Onto the actual topic: Tolya. In the books, Tolya doesn't have any love interests. He also notably says "I have my faith, my books. I've never wanted more," in Rule of Wolves. This leads many fans to headcanon him as ace, aro, or aroace. I headcanon him as aroace too. I loved that one almost throwaway line and it made me feel even more connected to Tolya. I recently reread the Shadow and Bone trilogy and it renewed my love for Tolya. The perfect casting of Lewis Tan also reignited my excitement for seeing this character that I adore appear onscreen.
It seems, from the scene of Tolya helping Inej onto the boat, that the show will explore the possibility of Tolya and Inej being together. THIS IS OK. This is ok specifically because THE STORY IS NOT OVER.
I find that when I am worried about something, going over worst case scenarios and best case scenarios can help me calm down. Let's list a few possibilities of where this will lead:
Tolya and Inej fall in love. Inej forgets Kaz exists. Tolya's possible aroace-ness is never acknowledged. They spend all their time kissing and having sex, never again hunting slavers or reciting poetry ever. If Inej and Kaz meet again, she'll break his heart because they'll never get together. Kaz dies alone. Tolya and Inej then have 20 kids.
Tolya develops (or has already developed) a crush on Inej. It's understandable, she helped save his life and they fought well together against Ohval. Tolya is a very outwardly affectionate person: he's open about his feelings (hence the constant poetry recitation), he loves to care for the people around him (sharing food with multiple characters, helping Jesper with Wylan), he values his blade (his hallucination nightmare is Tamar dying on his blade, he doesn't notice people ducking out of the way of his handle), and he is incredibly spiritual (praying in Shu-Han, but many more examples in the books, the show has barely touched the surface of his spirituality). He is nearly the polar opposite of Kaz, and Inej has said that Kaz cannot give her what she wants, so that probably draws Inej towards Tolya. They get closer after spending time at sea, and they start a relationship. They stay together through the end of the show. Kaz either stays alone or finds someone else. Tolya's aroace-ness is never acknowledged.
Everything from #2, except they don't stay together through the end of the show. Inej realizes that despite Tolya being able to give her what she thinks Kaz can't, she still wants Kaz. And Kaz, now having been away from Inej for a period of time and possibly working through some of his touch aversion and other anxieties, wants to try to meet Inej somewhere in the middle after knowing with it's like to almost lose her to someone else. She accepts Kaz, leaves Tolya, and Tolya is fine with it (because I can't imagine Tolya ever holding a grudge for that). Tolya's aroace-ness isn't never acknowledged, but is probably somewhat implied (something along the lines of telling Inej the "faith and books" line to reassure her).
Everything from #2, but this time Tolya is the one who realizes that this might not be what he wants. Maybe he realizes that he has romantic feelings for Inej but not sexual. Maybe he realizes that he has sexual feelings for Inej but not romantic. Maybe he realizes his feelings for Inej are purely platonic and the intensity comes from his gratitude for saving him. Or maybe the intensity comes from them connecting through their spirituality. This could either lead to Inej feeling sad and rejected and turning to Kaz for some comfort, OR she just agrees that the feelings aren't the same as what she had for Kaz. Kaz has now worked through some of his trauma. So they end the relationship, Toya is happy with his faith and books, and Inej reconnects with Kaz romantically.
The look that Tolya gave Inej wasn't from some sort of romantic interest, but instead intrigue at the chance of getting to know her better. They become best friends with their bond starting from their mutual love for blades and their spirituality. They become the blade fighting duo we never knew we needed. The show never mentions his sexuality, he just stays single.
Same as #5, but they also Tolya say the "faith and books" line and confirm he's aroace.
The show sees the negative response from some fans and does a complete 180, never addressing the possibility Tolya and Inej again. I do not want this to happen. Not because I like Tolnej, but because I hate that fan response and pandering has become a thing in the current age of social media and letting fans influence media. It completely ruined the Rise of Skywalker. I fully believe it's influenced RTD's Doctor Who (I can go more in depth on that another time). Looking at these examples, I would rather the Shadow and Bone writers continue with whatever storyline they already have planned rather than shift to appease some of the fans, even if that planned storyline isn't something I will like. People need to remember that the fans who care enough to speak on social media, both positively and negatively, only make up a small percentage compared to the entire viewership. So I definitely do not want them to take fan response into account when planning the show. Leigh is an executive producer, so I trust she wouldn't let them explore something with her characters and her world that she wouldn't mind seeing herself.
Kaz, in my headcanon, also falls somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Whether it's because of his touch aversion or if that's just a part of it, I do think he's somewhat asexual. While most of us are ace just because we're ace, there are some people who are ace due to past trauma and I've imagined Kaz falls in that category. To me, subtly in the books but definitely in the show, Inej desires a sexual relationship and she's well aware that Kaz doesn't want that. Her hallucination, which I see so many Kanej fans gif'ing and fangiring over, would never happen at this point in Kaz's life. Inej realizes it in the moment, and that's how she knows it isn't real. Tolya is literally using his Heartrender abilities to try to slow down the effects of the poison before succumbing to the horror of his hallucination, but it's Inej who snaps out of her hallucination first BECAUSE she knows what she's seeing is not possible. It's different from Jesper, who knows his hallucination isn't real since his mom is gone and yet still wants to stay in it, because Inej knows this could theoretically happen, but also knows that Kaz would never let it happen. She doesn't even let herself enjoy the hallucination the way Jesper did because it's something she doesn't think she can ever have with Kaz. There is a very real possibility that the show could ultimately decide (after some combination of the earlier scenarios in my list) that Tolnej doesn't work/doesn't happen AND then that Inej and Kaz will never have any sort of relationship either. They could all end up single or with other characters. Even at the end of Crooked Kingdom, the Kanej relationship is still somewhat ambiguous. They hold hands, she says she's not ready to give up on him, and he helped find her family, but they aren't explicitly in love. I wouldn't be surprised if the show goes the book route and leaves Kanej ambiguous yet hopeful at the end.
BONUS! Just because I think it'd be fun. Make Tolya canonically aromantic and just care deeply and platonically for Inej, but maybe he can still fulfill Inej's desire for a sexual relationship since he can be demi or greysexual or even asexual with a libido. Kaz may never fully stop being touch averse, which is perfectly fine, and he and Inej connect romantically with a fulfilling life of love. And then Kaz and Tolya get to bond deeply platonically over their mutual love for life's beauty (poetry and Inej). Make them some sort of triad that mixes and fulfills everyone's romantic, sexual, and platonic needs. It's a win-win-win for all three. It doesn't have to be a love triangle, Inej has two hands. Do I expect the show to go in this direction? No. Would I love to see it? Yes.
Obviously I'm exaggerating scenerio #1 on purpose. Because that exaggeration is what I imagine people to seem to think the show is leading to based on how intense their responses have been so far. I also tried to address some other things I've seen people freaking out about when making the scenarios, like how Kaz will react to Tolya or worrying if Tolya being aroace will ever be acknowledged in the show.
What do I think is most likely to happen? Honestly, scenario #3 or #4. Maybe #6. That's why I'm not freaking out. Yes I ship Kanej, yes I think Tolya is aroace, but I also like the idea of them exploring Tolnej and I think either #3 or #4 would be fun to see. While the show strays from the books in a lot of ways, I don't think they'll stray from the final relationships by the end of it.
At the end of Ruin and Rising, Mal and Alina get to leave, get married, and live an ordinary life full of ordinary things. I LOVE the ending (apparently that's another controversial opinion I have about the Grishaverse) but that didn't happen in the show. Yet. The show has separated Mal and Alina so that Mal can figure out who he is without his tracking and so they can find out if they love each other for each other, or if it was just destiny that pulls them together. This is not in the book at all. And yet I love it. It can lead to strengthening their relationship since I trust the show will still end eventually with them together, hopefully with their ordinary ending. I think the show is doing the same thing with Kanej. The "I'll have you without your armor or not at all" conversation actually came towards the end of the duology, but the show moved it much earlier. I like that they did because this gives them something to build up from. Another reason I like scenarios #3 and #4 is because they still give Kaz the opportunity take what Inej said to heart and try to live without his armor. At the end of Crooked Kingdom, he takes off his glove and holds Inej's hand, but he is not at that point in the show yet. He will be eventually. And knowing that Inej might move on with Tolya can give him more reason to work to get to that point. I don't think the show is telling us Kanej will never happen, I think the possibility of Tolnej is the same as them separating Malina. I believe they will all come back together.
And if any of my listed scenarios do happen: THAT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN TOLYA'S SEXUALITY IS ERASED.
Sexuality in the Grishaverse is never defined. The fans can make inferences based on the relationships that Leigh gives her characters, but they don't define the characters' sexualities with labels in the books. This is because in the Grishaverse, labels as we know them don't seem to exist. You can kind of think of it in the way that we should treat LGBT+ people in history: we can give them labels of what we would consider them to be in our current era, but we'll never truly know what they would have labeled themselves because either they were closeted or there were just no labels for their sexualities at the time. And when they did have labels, they often called themselves things that many LGBT+ people would never use today. I look at the Grishaverse characters' sexualities in a similar way; they don't label themselves, and we can make assumptions based on the labels we would use, but they will never be explicitly canon unless Leigh puts it in the books.
For example, Hanne in Rule of Wolves (MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THIS PARAGRAPH) Leigh uses "she/her" pronouns for them up until the last part of the book, and then Leigh is careful to NEVER use any pronouns for Hanne again. The fandom assumes Hanne identifies as a transman from that point on or maybe nonbinary, but we really don't know for sure yet because it happened so late in the book. The Grishaverse wiki uses "they/them" pronouns for Hanne precisely because we don't know what they prefer. All we know is that they always felt uncomfortable when they presented as a girl, and they enjoyed Tailoring themself to be more masculine. Maybe in future books we will get a definite answer as to whether they are a transman or nonbinary, but for now we technically don't know. But out of respect, the fandom has agreed to use they/them for Hanne. (RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS ARE DONE)
So, if Tolya does have a relationship with Inej at some point in the show, whether or not it lasts, it doesn't erase the possibility of Tolya being on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums. The show and books are never going to give him a definitive label. He could be demisexual/romantic and figure out after forming a bond with Inej that he has sexual or romantic feelings for her. Or he could be greysexual/romantic, which has a purposefully wide definition (rare specific circumstance that he desires having a relationship, weak attraction or difficulty telling it apart from platonic feelings, etc), and his experiences with Inej could fall into one of those categories. In these cases, we'd probably get a scene where he'd say something like "I've always thought I only needed my books and faith, but after getting to know you, Inej, I have never felt this way before and I don't think I'll ever feel this way again." This would still be representation for people who fall along the middle of the aroace spectrum, but not those at the furthest edge. If the relationship doesn't last and through it he realizes that he's sure that these are things he's not interested in, then that represents every aroace person who had to go through that before coming to terms with their sexuality. It's not erasure. Maybe it doesn't specifically represent YOU if you consider yourself aroace, but it definitely represents SOMEONE who does (I'd find it very relatable).
And all of this goes back to something I mentioned at the start: the show is not DONE. If it gets renewed, which it likely will, then there is more to see. To me, the people I see freaking out about the possibility of Tolnej, whether it's because they ship Kanej and don't want a triangle or because they don't want Tolya's sexuality to be "erased," are reacting the way you'd usually see people react if the show ended at this point. But it probably will not. And then when I see posts from the people who are thinking ahead, they seem to only be considering scenario #1 and not realizing there are a multitude of directions for the show to go in. It's not worth freaking out over. Plus, there's always the saying "don't like don't read," so if you find you really are disliking even the possibility that any scenario I listed could come true, you can just not watch the show and pretend it doesn't exist. The books are never changing. Even if the show changes everything, even if they have Alina end up with Jesper or Wylan end up with Nadia or Zoya marry a volcra or any other ridiculous outcome that utterly changes the show's canon, the book's canon will never change. You can always turn to the books if things don't ultimately turn out in a way you want them to.
Also, why am I seeing people complain that fans are writing fanfiction already about Tolnej? Why are you complaining about what other fans are doing that has zero affect on you? Fanfiction is not just for the canon ships. It's not even just for shipping in general, but it's definitely not reserved to the ships that are canon. You can write fanfiction for any ship you want to. Shipping wars have never truly made sense to me, but maybe that's because my first big online fandom was Glee and the ships were constantly changing and switching around so there was no point in putting too much effort into arguing because it may all change in the next episode anyway. Yes, we had lots of ship wars, but when people shipped the most random "crackships" possible then the appropriate response for most people was "wow, they really ship that, weird" and then to move on. Let people write fanfics. That's why AO3 exists. You can just write whatever you like. And yes of course a new crop of fans hate AO3, which is a whole other issue I cannot wrap my head around, but the point is to just let people write the fanfic they want to write and make the fanart they want to. Someone has already made a Tolnej fanvid on YouTube? Wow that's incredible since they did it so quickly! Malina on the moon AU? Cool throw in some sun and moon jokes! Do you think that Wylan and Hershaw would be best friends? Go for it, they'll probably blow everything up! The Darkling and Mal and Alina incest AU fic? Not my cup of tea but you do you and I just won't read it. People will write what they want to, and they aren't hurting anyone in the process, so if you don't want to see it then don't read it.
I see people complaining that shipping wars will begin to start after this fandom had been so peaceful for years. Honestly, the only reason there weren't shipping wars before this was because Six of Crows didn't have enough characters and possible ships to have a war over. Mixing with Shadow and Bone earlier in the timeline has opened up the possibilities. You know how to prevent shipping wars? Just don't fight with people who ship the things that you don't ship. Don't engage. If you see a Tolnej fanfiction, don't tell the author "Ew I hate Tolnej. You shouldn't have written this." just don't read it. Or if you do read it and still don't like it, then move on. If someone who ships Tolnej comes on a Kanej post and starts saying Tolnej is better, or vice versa, you can press the block button. Or you can just not respond to them. A shipping war doesn't start if you don't fight in it. There can just be people who ship Tolnej, people who ship Kanej, people who ship all 3 of them together, and everyone can just choose what they want to interact with and scroll past what they don't.
When it comes to Avatar: The Last Airbender, I am a gigantic Zutara shipper, and the Zutara vs Kataang ship war was infamously a bad one, but I just try not to engage in it. I know my ship isn't canon. Sure, I'll complain that it's not canon, maybe say "Oh in this scene they were so in love" and think about what could have been, but then I just go read Zutara fanfics. If you don't want to see shipping wars, don't participate. Ignore it. Move on.
But you know what? I think I know what the ultimate source of this is, or at least one of the sources. I've been seeing similar uproars in the Stranger Things and Umbrella Academy fandoms this year. Both are fandoms that also tend to skew younger than myself. I think fans, especially younger fans, are now reacting in these intense ways as a defense mechanism because so many shows get cancelled early. They're preparing in advance for this to be the last of whatever media they love, they're preparing for this to be canon forever, and they aren't happy.
Using Stranger Things as my example, I saw it happen when people were mad that Will didn't come out as gay at the end of Season 4 and that Mike didn't fall in love with him. I get that you guys ship them, and I love Will and want him to be happy, but just because it didn't happen in Season 4 doesn't mean it's not going to happen. First of all, Will is a 14 year old kid in the 1986 from a small town in Indiana that can barely handle Dungeons and Dragons and he's already been bullied at school for possibly being gay, coming out is not as easy as it is today. Reagan only just acknowledged AIDS one year earlier. Even Robyn hasn't come out to anyone but Steve. If they had thrown in Will coming out amongst the chaos of Elle fighting Vecna and trying to save Max, I know people would complain that it got shoehorned in as an afterthought. And because it didn't happen at all, people are complaining about that too. I know people will always complain about something, but I'm sure that fewer fans would complain if they didn't have the fear of cancellation instilled in them. Sure, Stranger Things would never get cancelled before finishing the planned story, but these fans are just used to feeling that the end of each season of every show could possibly be The End, and then complain about the loose ends accordingly.
That's what I think I'm seeing from the people who are upset about the possibility of Tolya and Inej being together. The show will probably be renewed, but it's not guaranteed. If it were to end right now, then yeah, fans who only watch the show would assume Inej and Kaz will never be together, that Tolya is interested Inej, and they'd have no idea that he's implied to be aroace in the books. But here's the thing: if you read the books, you know none of this is true. In the books, Tolya is aroace representation. In the books, Kaz and Inej are implied to have a romantic future. Why does it matter to you and your life if some people who watch the show don't know about the parts of the books that haven't happened yet? The fans who are mad about this change are all book fans because we're the ones who know it's a change. If we don't like the change, we can always choose to only acknowledge the books. The books can't be cancelled. The books are not going to change. Even if the show goes in directions you don't like, you can always take solace in the books.
Also, I see way too many people complaining about Tolya and Inej who have only read SoC/CK but not any of the books that Tolya actually appears in.
I'm nearly done. I wanted to address the aroace fans who are sad because they saw themselves in Tolya and now feel he doesn't represent them. I'm sorry that a character you connected to doesn't touch you the same way in the show as they did in the book. But you can't say Tolya isn't aroace representation in the show, at least not yet. At this point, he doesn't represent YOU and you definitely deserve representation, but he does represent SOMEONE. And hopefully he will continue to represent someone. So many aroace people had relationships with people they cared about and thought they felt romantic or sexual love for, before they eventually realized they were aroace. If this ends up as Tolya's story, then that rings true to SO MANY people. As I keep repeating, the show is not over, this could be leading to one of the scenarios where Tolya figures out that he is aroace through pursuing a relationship with Inej. He could already be demi or grey and it just hasn't come up in the show yet, but meeting Inej is one of the few times in his life that he does feel romantic and/or sexual attraction. Or, the look he gave her was just platonic and he's excited to have her aboard the Volkvolny.
We don't know for sure. It's better to just let the show's story unfold and remember that you will always have the books you love, rather than waste energy worrying about where the show is heading.
So yeah. I love Tolya. I love the idea of Tolnej. I love any plot point that can put more Tolya on my screen. I am greyromantic and demi/grey/flux/asexual/whatever and I personally like where they're taking his character and I want to see what it leads to. I hope it ultimately leads to him staying on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, but we don't know for sure right now. We just need to wait and see.
Also, don't tag any hate posts for the ship in the Tolya Yul-Bataar, Tolnej, Tolya x Inej, and Inej x Tolya tags. That's just fandom etiquette 101.
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tl;dr:
1) The show isn't done yet and we don't know where it's heading. 2) The show can be heading in a bunch of different directions, including keeping Tolya as aroace and having Kanej be canon. 3) Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums and umbrella terms, so Tolya could be with Inej and still be considered aroace. 4) This isn't erasing aroace representation because there will still be aroace people who will feel represented by him. 5) The books are not going away so if worst comes to worst, he'll still always be aroace representation in the books.
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six-of-cringe · 1 year
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See I was kind of hoping that the show would flesh out Wylan and Jesper's pre-SoC relationship because it wasn't much expounded upon in the books, but instead they somehow managed to flesh it out even less
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littleladybirdsblog · 2 years
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“Why do you ship Darklina; it’s such a toxic ship?” 
Ben Barnes and Jessie Mei Li are hot. Next question.
#darklina#shadow and bone#ben barnes#jessie mei li#sorry not sorry#i am shallow you give me two pretty people with chemistry and i'm gonna ship sorry but i don't make the rules#and like narratively it was the more interesting#and like it would have made a better plot (in my humble opinion)#okay i understand that the darkling is the villain and in later books he does some pretty cartoonish villain stuff and yada yada#if you want to read the text and interpret it like he is a clear cut villain then by all means do that if that is what you want#i just think it weird that the author would choose to make the villain the leader of an oppresed minority#as opposed to the monarchy and the system itself that enables this same kind of oppression#and like lets say the darkling was just the villain#killing him and destroying the fold would not really help anything since the oppression is still there#like people still hate grisha#i dont know#its leigh bardugo's story so she has every right to write what she wants to write#but i just find it weird or interesting how she would focus on Alina and Mal's relationship and disregard said oppression#i think the story would have benefitted from a more darklina approach#by having the light and the dark fighting side by side for a better world#because shadows aren't inherently bad#just as the sun isn't inherently good#you know balance or like calls to like or whatever#and if you were really set on not having alina and sasha end up together (event though they are literally soulmates)#then it would have been find since at least the ongoing war on grisha would be addressed#and like alina should get to keep her powers because it is literally her#you cannot have one without the other if you describe it similar to breathing#you cant have darkles be the villain without adressing why he became one in the first place#but i digress#at least bb and jml are hot ig
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