#should've known what i was getting myself into cause that shit fucking hurt

[yoinkschief]

In a TordMatt mood,,, may do more than just a silly doodle

#does this count as a guilty pleasure ? #i mean i enjoy it but it's not incredibly popular #found out one of my fave writers wrote about #read it #should've known what i was getting myself into cause that shit fucking hurt #great read tho 👍 #jay draws #art #digital art #doodle #fanart #eddsworld #ew #ew tord #tord #ew matt #matt #tordmatt / mattord #tordmatt / matttord #stupid idiots they're so loser pilled #[affectionate]

[love-belle]

i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.

or

for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 3,628,344 others

yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all

18,528 comments

username IM SCREAMING MISS MA'AM WHAT IS THIS

username you were driving fast??? i was holding back??? and i loved you babe??? but i bet u knew that???

username nothing has ever and will ever hurt me like this ep has

username I MEANT DON'T GO IT CAME OUT AS GOODBYE U SAID FINE WHEN YOU SHOULD'VE SAID WE COULD TRY

username the way she's literally our mother like AHSHSJSJJSJSKSS I LOVE U

username lewis hamilton watch ur back

username tears are streaming down what the fuck

username OH SHIT I WON THE BREAKUP

username love how this ep is her crying abt lewis and simultaneously shitting on him and somehow still blaming herself for everything

username THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 HEAVEN 😭 KNOWS 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 AND 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 GOES 😭

landonorris nice album 👍

-> yourusername thank u this random dude said it hit all the right corners

-> yourusername unlike u in the last race

-> landonorris UNPROVOKED

-> username NAH SHE'S SO WRONG FOR THIS

username did it hurt? when y/n finally acknowledged her break up but with a 5 song ep that rips out ur heart out of ur body and crushes it?

username need lewis to blind react to this NOW

username I KNOW THAT I SHOULD KNOW BETTER

username the way i know lewis saw this post and cried like imagine having to say that y/n y/l/n is ur ex gf???

-> username right like i would litch never show my face again

-> username no bc he was so "my girl is angry with me i hope death takes me swiftly" HOW IS HE HOLDING UP

username they still follow each other that HAS to mean something

username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN

-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)

carmenmmundt so proud 🩷

-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH

username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO

username WHEN U SAID WE'RE LIKE YOUR MUM AND DAD KNEW U LOVED ME BABE WHEN U TOLD ME THAT

username im in shambles whatcthe fufk

lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT

-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU

username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME

-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED

username she did NOT hold back

-> username committed several felonies one by one

-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK

username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD

username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears

charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".

-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that

-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT

-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT

username the way i loved u i will not be embarrassed of that just should've known when to quit ARE U KIDDING ME Y/N

username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,628,148 others

lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago

16,689 comments

username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK

username nah im like wtf

username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????

username nah the audacity of men sometimes

username im going feral wgatctefuck

landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same

-> lewishamilton lando?

username bitches are so messy sometimes i LOVE it

username the way i know he cried while hitting post

-> username frrrr LMFAO like there's no way he's this thriving after the break up

username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔

username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????

-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv

-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"

-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭

username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her

-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP

username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again

maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.

-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?

-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC

-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed

username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf

-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS

-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk

-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK

-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO

-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔

-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf

georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???

-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me

-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE

-> username russell george i am shook

-> username omg he's madddddd

username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise

-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone

-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this

-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to

-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment

-> username roscoe barked at him

mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff

-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.

-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff

-> maxverstappen1 yes we will

-> charles_leclerc yes we will

-> carlossainz55 yes we will

-> landonorris yes we will

-> oscarpiastri yes we will

-> danielricciardo yes we will

-> fernandoalo_official yes we will

-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 3,186,419 others

yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours

comments on this post have been limited

username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK

username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other

username IM CRYING ARE WE REALLY DONE DONE NOW

username OH SHIT YOU WON THE BREAKUP 🗣️🔥💯‼️

username i will forever remember the y/nlewis era 💔💔💔💔💔

username nah wtf i wasn't even this sad over my ACTUAL REAL parents divorce

username do it for roscoe guys get back bc of him :(

charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing

-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing

-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT

-> username IM CRYING SHE WILL NEVER LET THE GRID LIVE IN PEACE

username i will always remember the way lewis was so :) whenever she was around and the way y/n was so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like

username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER

-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other

username y/n i will always let u bejeweled pls give me a chance

roscoelovescoco not cools mum's

-> yourusername LOG OUT OF THIS ACC I SWEAR TO GOD LEWIS

-> username IM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK

username I DON'T NEED YOUR LIGHT TO BE LIT

lilymhe YOU'RE GLOWING I LOVE U STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AHSHSJSISN 😡😡😡😡😡

-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU

username forever in love with her like AHSJSJSS

username i screamed

username someone sedate me im ginna pass out WHAT IS THIS

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #lewis hamilton blurb #lewis hamilton imagines #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x ex!reader #lewis hamilton x fem!reader #lewis hamilton x y/n #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton instagram au #lewis hamilton angst #lewis hamilton au #fake social media #f1 imagine #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #formula one x reader

[jaymber]

I Don't Wanna Hear It

Timeline 20151 - Protagonist : V Temarii

[ First | Previous | Next ]

V was happy to help Kerry out once again when he called. Something about Us Cracks he didn't fully understand, yet he still rushed to get to the Riot club. He tried to impress the rockerboy best he could sneaking into the club and getting them to meet the girls that were giving Kerry such a hard time. V quickly realized something was off, that they were both getting played. He deescalated the situation and watched, delighted, the artists talk in a calmer manner. He could tell the passion in Kerry's voice. V didn't know what he expected next from the rockerboy. Maybe another moment alone. Just the two of them opening their heart to the other. But Kerry told him he'd stay there a moment. V felt disappointed, hurt almost. He wondered if he even mattered to Kerry, or if he was nothing but a handy merc to hire when he needed to.

V went home quietly, bottling down his frustration. “I’m so fucking stupid,” he let out as he fell onto the floor, trying to soothe his aching heart with the help of nicotine.

He should've known, frankly, that he was nothing to Kerry. Another kid the city would eventually swallow. Another naive soul waiting to be used, then thrown away. He was stupid. Stupid. Stupid. “Look who's still whining,” Johnny said as he appeared at his side. “Did you know? That it'd end that way?” “End? V, you hear yourself? Ker’s always had one passion: music. Used to put it above anything. Myself included. But he'd always come back to me when he's off the high. Same goes to you.”

“You don't know that. Don't know shit.” “V,” he called, trying to be gentle but still sounding too rough, “Stop that. Ker’s not the type to let you down.” “You don't know that,” he repeated, as if Johnny hadn't even spoken. “V, c’mon, don't get on my nerves. I promised I'd try being better, and so should you,” he chastised, “Do you trust me?” He waited for V’s timid nod to pull him closer.

“Then stop being scared. He won't leave you behind, but you can't ask him to make you his priority. Barely know you. If you want him in your life, you gotta make concessions.” “As if you ever did,” he commented. “Don't drop to my level, then,” Johnny replied, only partly joking, “He likes you, V. I know that.” “How you know that?” “Cause you making it damn easy,” he admitted, capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

#ugh my v got problems... #cyberpunk 2077 #vs un peu ça! #oc: vaea temarii #male!v #johnny silverhand #kerry eurodyne

[icedmetaltea]

thoughts

The med increases didn't help my depression at allll whoooooooooo

All it does it make me feel drunk enough to fall asleep, sleep for 9+ hrs and wake up at noon. Just to stay in bed the rest of the day.

Idk what to do bc I'm too scared to try any other antidepressants cause they seemed to give me wayyy too bad of a anxiety reaction. I feel like I made an error in judgement by making my therapy appointments every other week cause now things are falling again, showering is becoming harder and it's becoming too much effort to cook for and clothe myself.

The worst part is idk if this is situational due to the climate change shit or all the fucked up stuff going on in Palestine. And just... everything else. Everything little thing adding up.

I've been trying to hard to improve, and I thought I was, I really did. I feel like such a fucking failure. I know even if things improve over the winter I'll still have spring and summer and all the anxiety that comes with it due to the heat. I cannot survive another summer of countless panic attacks and staying in all day bc I can't handle the heat outside and the falls and winters disappearing due to the ever-increasing heat and my parents still denying climate change even exists even when it's 80+ degrees in fucking november.

The self-harm urges are coming back and idk where my rubber band is. It's much better that than the box cutter I used to use (and even that was tame, it never cut deep)

And with each and every vent post I make (which I can't stop, it just flows out of me like a waterfall) I feel more and more like an annoyance. Even when I'm posting things I'm proud of, I feel like an annoyance. I care so much about what people think, far too much, and I try to bring it up in therapy but I'm still way to embarrassed to talk about it, it seems like such a selfish thing to fixate on.

Yesterday I saw pictures of the kittens and I have no idea how they're doing today since my sibling who they're staying with (permanently, I'll never fucking see them again) doesn't use social media. I'll never watch them grow up. I saw them as my children and my sibling took them away and treated my sense of loss as selfish bc I should've known they'd always belong to them.

I've been lying in bed all day. I ate but that's it. I can't get the motivation to put on clothes or go outside or do anything really. All I've been doing is listening to music and feeling sorry for myself like a complete failure. Who am I kidding, even if I get back in college, I'll just fail again, like I always do.

I can't live independently, not after what I went through over the summer... I could never manage all that shit by myself.

And ofc I start thinking about death. My death or my parents', whichever comes first. And... I just feel cold. Not in a good way, not in a comforting way, just a lonely, empty way. And this feeling comes and goes, but right now it's wound around my chest and wringing the life out of me.

And I start thinking about the friend I had. I'll never know somebody that cares about like that ever again. if they even did. If he wasn't lying about it all. I'll never know anybody like that ever again. Never. The kind of friendship I used to daydream about growing up, the kind I waited till adulthood for, gone. I know it's been months but it fucking hurts so fucking much

#tw self harm #tw depression #tw anxiety #irl stuff #vent #tw suicidal thoughts

[4190]

As someone who had to move to the other side of the country right before highschool, I really think this topic should be talked about

So for my entire childhood I lived a relatively normal life, I grew up with the same people for 13 years and even though I wasn't close with everyone, we still made our memories and we all grew up together. When I moved, I didn't realize leaving such familiar things and people would affect me so much. I was extremely unhappy from leaving everything that made me, me. Everything that made me happy, everything that I'd ever known. So as a 13 year old literal child I didn't handle the moving process well and I just kind of stopped myself from feeling anything to protect myself I guess. I didnt let myself move on, I didn't let myself restart, I couldn't accept that I had to start a brand new life out of the blue. And based on what I've heard from other people about moving far away from their home town, I thought it'd be easy to adjust and that I could maybe find happiness again in this brand new place. So there were actually many things wrong with the whole moving situation. First of all, I was moving from a city with mountains surrounding it to the literal country side with no scenery whatsoever. I was fucking depressed as shit. And my parents just expected me to handle it all on my own, like it wasn't a big deal at all. But it fucking was a big deal, at least to me. My mom might be fine with moving and my dad might love the countryside, but I grew up differently, in the city and with people I've known all my life. U can't just expect me to suddenly adjust and know how to do everytning and not cry and mourn for what I've lost just cause it doesn't affect u the same way. I'm convinced asian parents are just not capable of feeling empathy. My heart fucjing hurts so bad right now. Writing this, it's making me realize how much fun and memories I've missed out on just cause I moved and I wasn't able to adjust properly. I've been dissociated ever since because my 13 year old self couldn't accept the emotions that came with leaving behind and losing everything you've ever known. And u know what the worst fucking part of it is? I cant even talk to anyone about this because no one has experienced it. They might feel bad for me but they will never understand the amount of fucking pain I'm in and the suffering I've been through these past years. I've never been able to come out of it. Every single fucking day it's like I'm just waiting and waiting to go back to when I was happy and everything felt familiar. But I know that day isn't ever gonna come because nothing is familiar, nothing is the way it was. This moving process really fucked with my brain and I know I'll never recover. I need to give up all my hope because I know things will never ever go back to the way they were. I'm in pain every single fuckinf moment of everyday because I can never, not even for a moment, snap myself out of the dissociated state. I fucking hate my brain and that's a fact, fuck that stay positive shit because I know for a fact I hate myself and I regret all the decisions I made and agreeing to move and not trying harder to stay. That one fucking mistake fucked up my entire fucking life. I don't see myself getting older and being happier. I don't see my future. All I can think about is the past and regretting not fighting harder for the life I should've lived.

[lunarmoonmoth]

Suffocation at its finest

My pulse feels weak as you pull away from me with ease

I gaze at once was admiring what it has that i don't

Constantly craving the touch and validation in which will never be received

Late night texts spiking my anxiety of what could be a terrible fate

Old feelings linger back into this broken heart of mine

It feels as though you don't care

Wishing for happiness to embody me whole so i can finally feel at one with myself

Not constant hatred for what looks back at me

I'm not him but at times i very much wish i was

I feel as though your seemingly bothered by me

I just wanna feel whole again

Unlike i've ever felt before because then i can feel eternal happiness

My brains scattered and broken into millions of pieces and i search allover to find whats missing

Nothing ever fills that void

Nothing ever will

Or at least i think nothing ever will

This shattered heart aches and aches for something in return for what is taken

You don't feel like i do

Do you

Do you feel saddened in a sense when i'm not around

Or does it not affect you

Shutting out the noise in my head by drowning in a field of dead flowers

Constantly hearing the happiness around you tends to slowly tear apart your mind

Brain constantly scattered and drifted

Can't tell if i feel anything really

I feel numb to any feeling

I feel the tears as they run down my face but i am in shock of their origin

Why must they shed

I feel nothing until this sudden burst of sadness reaches its hand out to me

Pure pressured i take its hand let it lead me afar because that is all i've known

All i will know truly

Suffocating and drowning in this void at times

Feeling swallowed whole against my will

Sucked into a void of melancholy music and fucking up my life because thats nostalgic for me

Offer me some help and i'll turn it down because its my problem so i must rescue myself

Not before the others

Never before them

As they matter more than anything

I'll still be here

Maybe not as full but its more important that i'm still here

I don't bother

I don't want to be a bother

Nobody wants someone who complains or vents when shit gets tough because god is that annoying

We all have problems so get over it

Choose an outlet

Or a place all your hidden secrets lay

Where no one can judge

No one can hurt you

Act fine until they cant see the reality

Punch, hit, yell

Anything to stop the noise of it all

That suffocating and honestly annoying sound that follows you everywhere

Playlist after playlist

Only 10 ish songs cause no way i could do anything more than that

Raising my mother at times wishing she would return the favor

Getting let down again and again without fail

Trusting you

I should trust you

That would be a mistake

You'll run if you learn of what's inside the notebook i keep hidden away

Away from harm

I wish someone knowing i loved them would be enough at times

It never is though

What was i really expecting

Truly

Could i be more of an idiot to think that would ever be enough

That id ever be enough

I told them

I told them to keep you safe

And selfishly to keep you here with me

I love you too much to leave you to rot like i am

You deserve better than that

It's scary

The thought of having to bury you

I should've said something sooner

And i hate how no one else cared that you were suffering in this big black hole

But me.

I needed you

Selfishly

I know

Why'd you tell me you love me

Unexpectedly

No reasoning

Just those three words

#poetry #sadnees #sad post #sad poetry #sad poem #daily poems

[ange1s]

cherry emoji - mark lee

synopsis: in which mark asks to see your boobs, and the idea you had of your relationship is thrown up in the air.

wc: 3.6k

genre: this is so fluffy it hurts, some angst but nothing crazy

tw: suggestive themes (boobs), swearing

playlist: pluto projector by rex orange county, ivy by frank ocean, tapestry by bruno major

a/n: guess whos back ,, back again ,,, ange1s back ,,, tell a friend,,,, also this is unedited so i'm sorry if theres a mistake :')

my anon asks are open !! feel free to ask me anything or request something <3

“i have a weird question.” mark says timidly. you’re sat on the floor, your back against his bed playing a rhythm game on your phone. he is sat at his desk, parallel to his bed, but with the rolling chair swivelled around to face you straight ahead. you don’t look up.

“hmm.” you hum, focused on the game.

mark swallows. “can i see your boobs?”

you drop your phone into your lap, forgetting about the game. you look up at him, straight into his eyes, and you giggle.

“wait, what?”

mark avoids your eyes almost fearfully, as if you were a detective questioning him for a crime. “can i see your boobs?” softer, this time.

you let out a shallow laugh. “don’t you watch porn? there are boobs there.”

mark blushes. “no! i mean, yes i do, but not real boobs.”

you cross your arms under your boobs on purpose, just to push them up a little higher to drive him nuts. mark sits back in his chair in frustration.

“so you think women aren’t real? that all boobs in porn are fake? jeez mark i thought you cared about women-“

“no! that’s not what i meant!” he says, exasperated. he continues to avoid eye contact with you. “of course i don’t think-“

you laugh again, keeling over. “relax mark, i know you don’t think all women are plastic.”

“look, there’s nothing wrong with being plastic, women can do whatever they-“ mark speaks quickly and nervously as if he were on trial.

“shut up minhyung,” you cut him off with a softer, more serious tone. “why do you want to see my boobs? you’re famous and cute. you could instantly find boobs wherever you go.”

he chuckles. “the word boob is so funny.”

“not the point, minhyung!”

he leans back over, the embarrassment slowly washing away. “stop calling me minhyung!”

“never, minhyung!” you retort without even thinking. you stand up to sit on his bed, now at eye level with him. “now, explain.”

“i… i dunno. i’ve just never seen boobs before. like, in person.”

you look directly at him, brain not even thinking anymore. words just fly out of your mouth with ease. “were you breastfed?”

“y/n!” he exclaims out of frustration. the embarrassment fizzles back in. he throws his head to the back of his chair and covers his eyes with his palm dramatically. he runs his hand down his face, tugging on the soft skin as it travels down. as his hand makes it back down to his lap, you giggle a little louder. “my mom’s boobs don’t fucking count. god, you made me think of my mom’s boobs. what the fuck?”

“sorry,” you manage in between giggles. “sorry, this is so funny.”

“this is impossible. i knew i shouldn’t have asked you.” mark pulls himself out of the chair and heads for the door, but you’re just as fast as him.

“now wait…” you grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. a wave of guilt washes over you. “i was just kidding.”

“were you? you didn’t sound like you were.” he says, his face still turned away from yours.

he sounds strangely hurt. “mark, are you okay?”

mark turns to face you and he looks defeated. he slumps down on the floor next to you, his knees up near his chest and his head in his hands.

“mark…”

“they were making fun of me.”

“who?”

“my friends! they were making fun of me. god, i sound like such an idiot now, whining about my friends like this, oh my god. i sound like a child.”

you rest your elbow on his shoulder giving your hand access to run through his soft, black hair. “you don’t sound like a child. you’re allowed to get upset.”

you take note at how the air shifted in the room. how quickly you focused and listened. you’re only like this around mark. with him, conversations can shift in an instant to anything. you understand each other on a deep, personal level. it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever have with another person for your entire life. maybe your soulmate. honestly? you can only dream to have this sort of connection with your soulmate, a connection so alive and so full of trust. is it even possible to have this with someone else? the fact that mark can make you think about how much he trusts you during a conversation about boobs is something only mark can make you feel. no one else. just him.

has it always been just him?

“it’s so stupid though. one minute lucas is bugging me about the fact that i’m a virgin and i’ve never seen boobs before and the next minute i’m on the floor of my bedroom with you, still not having seen any boobs mind you, nearly crying. damn. this is the lowest point i will ever reach.”

you push his hands away from his face and place your hands on his cheeks instead. “mark, please don’t cry. i hate it when you cry.”

the last time you saw mark cry was a month ago after watching a disney movie. seeing him cry just makes you cry, and since you were already crying, you just cried harder. seeing you cry makes him cry too, so he cried harder as well. the two of you just cried together until your heads hurt, to which you both took tylenols and tried to dance it off.

“i’m pathetic. insecure and pathetic.”

this is when you realize that there is more depth to his feelings than you thought.

“look, mark, i’ll show you my boobs. i trust you. i’m honestly surprised you haven’t seen them accidentally yet since i’ve known you for so long.” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. didn‘t work. “but i get the feeling that there’s more to this then just boobs.”

mark never really vented to you like this before. despite how close you are, he still kept things from you growing up, as a teenage boy does. you never took offense to this, as you kept plenty from him too. he never quite talked about his insecurities, his fears. he didn’t want to burden you with them. mark, so sweet and thoughtful. maybe too much for his own good. he needs to learn to share things.

he's starting to, though.

it takes him a while to speak, avoiding your eyes entirely. he speaks lowly, as if he was scared to tell the world what he was about to say.

“it’s just… everything about this sucks. everything. i’m kinda scared to tell you things, which can make us drift apart because we lose trust. then again, if i do tell you things, i’m scared it’ll freak you out and i’ll lose you. those are both bad endings. then, i’m scared to put myself out into the world. like, lucas is telling me to just find someone. go out, ask for a number, have a good time, live like someone in their 20s should be living. i can’t really do it though. every time i try, i choke. lucas once tried to set me up, you remember that, right?”

“yeah, that was the girl who stood you up.”

“yeah. it’s awful. every time i try it fails. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it fails every single time but i just couldn’t. but then, i realized.” he shifts and faces you causing your hands to fall off his face and into your lap. “when i came home after being stood up, i wasn’t sad. i forgot the moment i left the restaurant. i texted lucas that the date didn’t happen and just shut my phone off and went to your place. i wasn’t sad because i knew i had you. i knew that you were going to make me feel better and that made it all go away.” he pauses. “you know? sometimes i get worried that i put too much on you. you’re my happiness, my relaxation, my joy. i worry sometimes that you’ll suffocate because i take so much from being with you. i keep this in the back of my head all the time because i just don’t want you to go. ever.”

holy shit.

“mark…”

“let me finish. i talked about this with lucas, and he told me that i can let myself be selfish sometimes. he said that i can want this that… that i can want you. i can think about you and how you make me happy and i can want that happiness yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the day after. shit, i care about you more than anything. my heart swells and my stomach gets all these annoying little butterflies when i think of you. it’s fucking crazy. and now, today, here i am. you know, lucas, jaemin and i were talking about girls and boobs and fuck i don’t know, jaemin said that i just had to get that intimacy with someone. and it just fucking clicked. the only person i want to be intimate with is you and i’m thinking now that maybe i was stupid for asking to see your boobs. which is so stupid, i could’ve just asked to kiss you or share a bed with you or i don’t know. i’m really sorry if that was gross of me. i just wasn’t thinking. it’s so damn hard to think straight when it comes to you. i just really want to be closer to you, however that might be.”

your heart races at a speed that doctors would deem impossible. you don’t know what to think or where to look. you feel like you’re going to explode. though, if you explode, he’ll probably explode too. that wouldn’t be good.

mark looks down. he fills with regret. he doesn’t think he should've said that. maybe you'll hate him now. maybe you’ve never felt this way about him before.

you inhale slowly, trying to convince your lungs that breathing is normal and not something that can just stop when hearing speeches like this.

what is the proper thing to say? mark i love you? but do you love him? everything is so confusing right now. of course you love him, but you never considered love in this way. can i kiss you? too forward? but he wants intimacy, and you want it too. i feel the same way? boring. you can do better. mark, and his way with words. so beautiful. how do you compete? mark, you’re beautiful. mark is so beautiful. you try so hard to compose the words. maybe too hard. maybe it’s okay to go with option 3.

now, they just flow out. “mark… i think i feel the same way you do. i don’t know it’s just- i’ve always felt some sort of way toward you. something is so special about you. i spent years trying to decipher it, thinking it was just something platonic or brotherly or i dunno. i just never considered… this. i don’t even know what to call this. but it feels right. you’ve always felt right.”

he has. and he always will. he looks at you so lovingly, his enamoured gaze stuck on you. you can’t look up at him, but he watches you.

you continue. “fuck, i don’t know what to say. i’m so… god.” you run your fingers through your hair, as if to comb your brain in search for the right words. “i think you’re so beautiful. everything about you. and i’m so fucking grateful to have someone as amazing as you in my life. i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you, and i feel like i really don’t deserve you. but it feels right. to be with you. to be alone with you. it’s just right.”

you let a little tear trickle down your cheek. you know if you look up at him, you’ll probably cry harder. you know this well, yet you look up.

“i don’t know what i did to deserve you either.” mark sighs. it’s his turn to wipe your tears now.

“so… what is this? what… are we?” you ask, melting into his hand, which somehow feels softer on your face.

“i don’t know. we can be whatever you want us to be.”

you playfully punch his shoulder, his hands sliding off your cheeks. “come on, you know i hate it when you say that.”

he gets defensive. “and you know i hate it when you hit me! you have a strong hand, yanno? shit!”

you laugh at him, clearing the last unwanted tear off your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “what can i say? gained strength from all those pillow fights over the years.”

“yeah, pillow fights i won.”

“shut up! you know i won the one at jeno’s party!”

mark laughs aloud. your favourite sound. “yeah, because everyone was drunk and you were still on your second drink. it was a very unevenly matched fight!”

“i still won!” you cross your arms and sit up straight as if you assert dominance over the conversation. who are you kidding? it’s all a joke anyways.

you crack after a moment and both of you erupt in a fit of giggles. his head falls into the crook of your neck, and it feels right. it’s almost as if your skin buzzed. you don’t know why, he’s done this many times before. but now, it’s different. the air has shifted again, so quickly. only with mark.

when he comes off of your neck, you stand up. you walk up to the door of his room, and lock it.

“y/n, what-“

you sit on his bed. “can’t have someone walk in while you’re ogling at my boobs, right? i know you and you’d never be able to live that down.”

mark is quick to stand up in defence. “what? no, we don’t have to do that anymore. i said my piece and im over the boob thing and-“

“shut up mark. you know you want to. and i kinda wanna show you too.”

he sits down on the bed across from you without another word but before either of you can move, he speaks again. “wait, kinda? please don’t feel obligated. only do this if you’re-“

“minhyung, please! i want to, ok? i really appreciate how you’re taking care of me but it’s fine. i trust you, and you trust me, right?”

he swallows hard. “right.”

“okay, perfect.” you pull your shirt off over your head, leaving you in your bra. if this was with any other boy, you’d be self conscious about literally everything: the bra you chose, the shape of your body, the hair in the places you let grow out. with mark, none of it matters now. he’s seen you in bathing suits before, this isn’t much different. and knowing how much he cares for you anyways, you know his head is clouded with praise and nothing less. his brain is working so fast right now, he probably won’t even register any imperfections.

“can i take your bra off?” mark sputters out as if he were holding onto the words for hours. “or wait, fuck-“

“yes, you can.”

he is almost shocked at your answer, and it shows. mark’s hands move slowly, his skin slightly cold as he grazes your skin. he leans in unbelievably close to wrap his arms around you to reach your back. he feels your breath on his chin, and your beautiful eyes look so sweet as you look up at him. when he finds the clasp, he kisses your nose as he pulls away, your bra coming back with him. you straighten your arms so the straps fall right off, showing your boobs.

mark is shocked. flabbergasted, even. his jaw almost drops in a shameless, teenaged boy way.

“dang. they’re so cute.”

you scoff. “cute? first boobs of your life and all you have to say is cute?”

“well what else can i say? i am not very well versed in the vast vocabulary that exists to describe your boobs.” he chuckles. “jeez, why is the word boob so fucking funny?”

you can’t help but smile timidly alongside him. that is what mark does, he makes you feel safe no matter what the situation. mark is always worried about you, worried if you are feeling comfortable and if you are okay with what is going on. he never wants things to be tense when you are around, because he hates to see you upset.

right now, you are the opposite of upset.

“y/n,” he brings your attention back to him. you hum in response. “can i touch?”

you freeze for a moment, and nod timidly. mark scoots a little bit closer, and reaches out with his right hand to gently cup your left breast. his hand is warm, and your skin needs a second to adjust to his temperature. he squeezes the flesh in the absolute slightest way, and quickly brings his hand back. he laughs almost exasperated.

“oh my god, it’s squishy? boobs are squishy?! why did that never register in my head?” he laughs loudly, as if he had just discovered something monumental.

“you’re just finding out now? oh my god mark, that’s common knowledge!”

mark looks down, his cheeks red from laughing. “dang, i’m so touch starved that i never knew until now that boobs are squishy. insanity.”

“the more you bring it up, the sadder it gets.” you reply.

he looks up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “don’t be mean. can i touch again?”

“yes, you can.”

mark cups your left boob with his right hand again, this time running his thumb softly over the supple skin. he doesn’t know what his limits are yet. can he go further? can he touch other parts of your boobs? can he touch other parts of your body? he is scared of going too fast and scaring you. mark is doing his very best today to be as careful as possible, as this is probably, remarkably, the best day of his life so far.

he pushes his index finger into your boob gently to poke it, and you laugh softly. at this point, you are just looking down at mark’s hand on your body. honestly, the fact that he isn’t doing anything is almost relaxing.

you look at how slowly his finger moves, like your skin is made up of the most delicate material in the world. he holds you with such care, such control. it is a feeling you want to feel again, and again, and again.

mark inhales slowly. he wants to go further. he wants more. he doesn’t know how you feel yet, but he will wait for you every step of the way.

but just as he opens his mouth, he hears a thud on his door. “mark hyung, we’re home! is y/n here? come eat with us!”

you both jump, as jaemin’s loud voice destroys the entire atmosphere. mark turns a cute shade of pink almost immediately, and takes his hand off of your skin. you are surprised at first, but lose all tension as you watch mark’s reaction. the poor boy is so embarrassed, but even more upset at how shortly your time was cut off. you laugh as he grabs your bra and tries to put it back on you. unfortunately, he cannot figure out how to close the back shut.

“i’m here! we’ll be there in a sec.” you shout, sparing mark from saying something stupid. you clip your bra straps together, and pull your shirt back on.

mark looks upset. “i’m so sorry they cut us off. they were supposed to be out all day, fuck. i’m sorry-”

“mark, baby, it’s okay. you didn’t know. besides, this isn’t ending here.”

mark looks up at you. “baby?”

“oh gosh, i don’t know where that came from. i’m sorry.”

“no no, its cute. i like it. baby. it just…”

“makes sense?”

he nods. “yeah. this makes sense. it really does.”

mark’s heart pounds in his chest as he takes your hands in his. today, they feel softer, warmer. he inhales sharply once again, hoping this time jaemin doesn’t break his door down, or something of the sort.

his thumb does the thing again, rubbing your skin gently. “y/n, i don’t want to be friends anymore. i think we are more than friends.”

you smile. “i do too. this makes sense.”

mark feels like he is going to explode. that would be bad though, because if he exploded, you would too. that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“so i guess you’re my girlfriend now.”

you giggle softly. “that sounds so much better than best friend.”

“dang, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”

you let go of his hands and climb off his bed. he follows instantly after you do. right before you go to unlock the door, mark takes your hand once again, and turns you to face him.

you heart races as you lock eyes with him. you cannot believe everything that happened today. how your best friend, who you’d known for your whole life, confessed everything he felt for you, and poked your boobs mere minutes after. and that’s okay, because that’s mark. your mark.

“do we have to go down? i really want to see your boobs again.”

you lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, which causes him to lose his train of thought completely. “you’ll see them again soon, i promise. but if we don’t go down, jaemin will come upstairs and try opening your door. you know him, he’ll freak out when he sees that it’s locked. we’d get found out before we even have a chance to start.”

mark sighs. “fine. no more boobs today. guess i’ll just have to suffer without your boobs in my hands. shit, how am i going to survive?”

you unlock the door, and twist the handle. “well baby, i guess you’ll have to figure it out.”

#neowritingsnet #nct fluff #nct mark #mark lee #nct 127 fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct angst #nct 127 angst #nct dream angst #i love mark lee #mark imagines #mark lee loml

[misschifuyu]

Temporary

characters: sano manjiro (mikey) + gn! reader

genre: angst

warnings: swearing

It didn’t take a genius to notice.

At first, you figured it was simply because of work; busy work amongst the members that he had to deal with, taking up all his free time. You understood what it meant to be the leader of such a prestigious gang - if one could call it as such - so you didn’t think much of it.

“Did everything go okay today?”

“Yeah”

It was strange, to say the least, seeing him so quiet as you greeted him into your home. Having not seen him in a few days, you figured this would be a perfect opportunity to get together, one Wednesday afternoon you thought he would be free.

Of course, he had answered your text with an ‘okay’ to your suggestion; as a result, you were surprised to see him in such a glum mood.

That afternoon he had sat with you, but it felt as though the two of you were miles apart. Only a few words were exchanged, and you knew, without a doubt, that something wasn’t right.

Days passed on, and you tried to leave him some space. You knew well how much Mikey could get overwhelmed with life’s troubles, so you figured it was best to leave him sort them out before trying to intervene. The last thing you wanted was to make matters worse, after all, so you trusted it was the right decision.

Unfortunately, this ended up spanning into a week without knowing anything about him.

As it got to the 7th day, you couldn’t stop yourself from calling him. Grabbing your own, you clicked on his profile, a picture of the two of you showing up as you did.

What if something had happened to him?

Listening to the ringing tone by your ear, your mind drifted off into all the possibilities; despite knowing how your boyfriend was, you still worried for him. More than he could ever even imagine, frankly.

After a few seconds, you reckoned he wasn’t going to pick up. You couldn’t even begin to think of why, your legs taking you out into the streets of Tokyo as you hurried to the place you could only think he would be.

Near the riverbed.

Luckily, your house wasn't located too far from the spot where you had spent countless evenings throughout your relationship. It always seemed to bring Mikey a sense of serenity, watching the water flow by as he would rest on the grassy hill. Truthfully, you weren't entirely sure you'd find him there, but it was a place to start searching for him, at least.

Rounding the corner of the final block, you spotted a sitting figure. By the flowing, black jacket that was hung on the person's back, you recognised them immediately - unless another Toman member had decided to get a very similar haircut to your boyfriend, that is.

You were relieved, glad to know that you weren't going to have to search for him or even ask around for his whereabouts. And as far as you could tell, he didn't seem to be injured or in any bad state. Letting your chest heave out a deep breath from running just seconds earlier, you slowed down your pace to approach him.

He was silent. No surprise, seeing as he was alone, but as you got closer you could tell that he was far from being in a happy mood. The way his eyes were locked onto the distant view of the city made it clear that he was deep in though, and seeing as he wasn't accompanied by anyone, it would seem that he had come here to be alone with his thoughts.

A sense of pity filled your senses, and all you wanted to do was console him. But you knew that would be of no way to come up to him, so you stopped a few metres away from him, hoping he had already sensed your presence, so as to not startle him.

"...Manjiro?"

Addressing him by his first name, you remained still in your position. By his slow reaction, you assumed he had known you were there, but had chosen to ignore your presence until you spoke up.

He looked up at you with what could only be described as an empty stare. It worried you, seeing him look at you with such dull eyes, but you stood silent, waiting for him to speak up on his behalf.

"Why are you here?"

Far from what you had expected as the first words he aimed at you after a week's worth of disappearance, you sucked in a breath. Was this really his reaction upon seeing you after such a time period? And if you hadn't come, would he have continued to act as if you held no place in his life?

"I wanted to make sure you were doing okay...You haven't come over for a week, so I was starting to worry and-"

"It was for your own good"

Upon his interruption, you knitted your eyebrows together, a prominently confused look on your face.

"What?"

Mikey blinked away from you, looking instead towards whatever was behind you. He was avoiding eye contact with you, and that was the last thing you needed when you were trying to understand him. His distance had been a clear sign that something was wrong, and now he couldn't even bare to look straight at you.

"Things have been getting complicated as of late, and I didn't want to bother you with all of that"

Now that you had a closer look at him, you could see that he wasn't in the same shape he was always in. His right arm, which had been out of your sight until you stopped before him, showed a series of dark bruises, and a nasty cut was split by his top lip, clearly caused recently by the bright, red tones that made up the injury.

That wasn't to mention his ripped attire. Strewn across the sleeves and even the front piece, they looked to be a consequence from a knife, tearing the fabric in an attempt to reach him instead.

"Mikey, you know you would never bother me with any of this, you should've come to my house, I would've helped you"

With a shake of his head, the blond strands that you so loved to run your fingers through moved in sync with his movements.

"No, Y/N. Shit gets ugly after a fight, and the last thing I want is for you to see me like that. Can't you just be patient for a little longer?"

His tone was starting to sound aggravated, and you hadn't the faintest ideas as to why. All you had done was come up to him to ask about his wellbeing, and yet he was adamant in pushing you away.

"Patient? Mikey, I've been worried sick this past week, not knowing where you've been or what you've been doing. All I've gotten are ignored calls and messages, do you really expect me to just be alright with that?"

He had turned to look back at the river by now, listening to you but with what seemed to be very little interest. It was as if you were speaking to a wall, and you were starting to get worried that this wasn't going to end well.

The fact he didn't trust you enough to continue to be at his side when at his lowest point was giving you clear signs that something wasn't going right in the relationship. He had helped you countless times when you needed him, so how come he didn't allow himself to seek out your help in such times?

The silence between the two of you was heart wrenching.

"Manjiro? Are you even listening to me?"

Shoulders lifting, he closed his eyes momentarily before turning fully towards you.

"Y/N, I'm just fucking afraid you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself. It's not all sunshine and smiles, but I don't want you to see that because I know damn well you'll leave me if I show up to your house looking like this"

So he didn't.

He didn't believe he could count on you when he was going through tough moments. He truly thought you were so empty-hearted that you would leave him for something you knew right from the start could happen. Hell, you knew before even dating that he could show up busted and bloodied out of the blue.

And yet he had convinced himself that, somehow, you would ditch him because of it.

He had created a distance between the two of you, one that you had never thought even existed. On your behalf, such a gap had never even come to mind, but it seemed his just continued to grow.

"I would never leave you for something like that, Mikey...why would you even think of that? I love you for everything that you are, no matter the state you come home in"

"Don't lie to yourself, Y/N. I know what kind of person I can be, and it's far from something one would want to be with. I'm a worthless idiot who spends his days fighting endlessly without a clear objective...what if I end up doing the same to you?"

"Mikey, don't say that, you know-"

"No, I fucking don't, okay? Every damn day I'm scared that I could turn on everything that I know and love, and I don't want you to go through that"

You could feel a knot in your stomach as you took in his words, each one hurting more that the last. Why would he speak about himself like that? You knew he didn't have an easy life but, turn on everyone? That was far from the reality.

"But-"

"Look, I'm not dealing with this, now or ever. If it bothers you that much, you can leave. I'm not going to put you in any sort of danger, so if you see that as negligence, I don't see us getting any further than this"

That's how he felt.

That's how he felt about the relationship; something to be brushed off so easily in a matter of a few words.

Just a temporary circumstance.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers mikey #tokyo revengers x reader #sano manjiro #mikey x reader #manjiro x reader #angst #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokrev

[strangerquinns]

For the nanny series… how does he try to make up with her??

The Nanny Masterlist | Part Sixteen 

pairing: sebastian stan x f!younger!reader (au)

Days passed and everything seemed to make you feel like you were in a haze. You never thought it would come to this to where you'd have to quit your job. You didn't want to, but also couldn't bring yourself to act like nothing happened. You were falling in love with a man that said he didn't trust you. Not that you didn't blame him. Sebastian just came out of a marriage that left him slightly broken.

"Do you think that was the wisest decision? Why didn't you just talk to him?" Your friend Claudia asked as she sat across from you at a table in a coffee shop.

"There was no talking to him. Any time the two of us talked all it lead to was him fucking me. I didn't want that any more." You shrugged "I was left feeling like I was just something sexual for him."

Claudia frowned "That's shit babes, I'm so sorry."

"I should've known what I was getting myself into when I got involved with him." You reached and took a sip of your coffee, "But how he made me feel..." A small smile tried to tug at the corner of your lips as the memories went through your mind. "...I couldn't help it."

"You had a good time with him, and just had a sour ending. You don't need to regret the entire thing." Claudia spoke, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "But you're moving onto bigger and better things now. Have you found a new job?"

"Have a few interviews in place. Didn't think that part through when I quit." You shrugged, "But I know for sure I am done with the nannying thing. I was temporary any ways."

The two of you sat in silence for a while before Claudia spoke up again.

"Has he tried talking to you?"

The frown that was on your face before returned and deepened. "No. I haven't heard from him since I walked out."

The pity filled look on Claudia's face just made your gut twist more.

You left the coffee shop and headed back home as the two of you finished up. You thought that being with a friend would bring a little more ease to your mind that you made the right choice. But if anything your mind was reeling a little more.

But when you walked up the steps of your apartment, the last thing that you expected to see was a package. You froze for a moment as you looked towards the long box leaned against your door before grabbing it. You walked into your home and set it down on the dining room table.

Your opened it quickly and gasped when a bouquet of roses came into view, nestled into the box. Instantly there was only one person that came to mind. Sebastian. With a shaky hand, you reached down and grabbed the card that was inside and opened it as well. 

Darling,

I am sorry for hurting you, and causing any doubt in your mind about us. Know that you mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

Sebastian

You stared down towards the note with a heaviness in your heart. It was a step towards him making things better. But you knew, deep down, that it wasn’t enough. You needed more. You needed to feel like he was into it just as much as you were.

You placed  the card onto the table and gathered the flowers up before placing them into a vase. A smile tugged on the corners of your lips as you looked towards them before turning away and heading towards your bedroom. 

Want the story to continue? Send in a request/concept

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#shorter than usual #but hope you enjoy it #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan blurb #sebastian stan concept #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan imagine

[haruharu-egypt]

Letting You in

Playboy Au

Jungkook x reader

Warning: Angst, Heartbreak, Cursing, crying

~~~~~~`~~~~~~~`~~~~~`~~~~

" so that's it huh?" You asked in disbelief watching as he turned his back to you. Instead of replying, he began to pack his bag to leave " No this is when I lost feelings or I'm sorry I'm leaving no explanation... Nothing?" You bit your lip as you tried to hold the confidence you were known for.

He sighed and turned shrugging his shoulders giving you a cold stare " I don't understand what you want me to do" he said as he began to walk away pitifully. Normally you'd let them go without a fight, you'd never get too attached. So why was it different now?

Staring at him, shock displaying itself on your features as you followed him grabbing him by his arm " you're not even gonna fight or-or consider how I feel?" You scrunched your eyebrows tilting your head, he snatched his arm away from you and turned to you causing you to stumble forward a bit " WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME?" Something inside of him snapped " you knew from the beginning how shit would end I mean-" he chuckled " I thought you were different, wouldn't push me or try to change me" Jungkook shook his head at you.

You scoffed as tears began to build up " you're right" voice cracking as the pain set in " you're right I don't even know what's wrong with me" you gave up, something you got used to after a while.. abandonment, so why was it different now.

He softened at the sound of your voice and the shake in your shoulders as you turned " Y/n" he started yet, you kept walking " No cause I knew- I always knew yet I shoved it so fucking far down in my head I was hoping to forget" you turned pointing an accusing finger at him " I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten attached and yet here I am like - you scoffed- what the fuck" you started as a tear slipped. Betrayal, was it from him? Or your emotions? Your heart.

Just as fast as it fell you wiped it away " pathetic" you went to bump past him to reach the stairs before he grabbed you " it's okay to cry or hurt but-" you cut him off " no you don't get to tell me wether I can cry or not YOU don't get to tell me I'm an idiot or whatever because I fell for you, that it's okay to hurt from heartbreak" you tried to hold it together but the tears wouldn't stop.

" I should've listened to myself and my mother before I dated you, I wouldn't- I didn't believe in love until you.. I wouldn't if it weren't for you" you jabbed him in the chest as he stared at you, dead. The gaze in his eyes were dead like he'd done this a million times " and ya'know this is why, the world's fucked up and I went my entire life without getting attached or allowing myself to fall too deep so why-" you hiccuped " why'd it have to be you" running up the stairs after snatching your arm out his hold.

A part of him broke as he watched the person he began to feel love for leave, he never meant to hurt her, hoping it'd be the best of he left before she became too attached. Mission failed I guess.

~flashback~

" I mean we could work" Jungkook smiled as he walked along side you " yeah whatever you say" you laughed in return.

He stopped in front of you " no seriously~ we've never been in a relationship long enough for us to fall in love hell we don't believe in that we could be together and won't have to worry about shattering one anothers a heart or deal with the jealousy and stuff" he tried to reason. Stopping yourself so you don't run into him, you shrugged " yeah but you're the School player and one thing I am very fond of is loyalty" you walked around him making him scoff " I've never cheated only reason I got my label is cause I don't fall in love" you shrugged again continuing home.

~timeskip~

"hey" you said opening your door to step out " ready for our date babygirl?" He asked making you giggle " of course my love" joining him on the way to the car.

After getting in and hitting the road Jungkook turned the radio on " oh I love this song" you laughed before starting to sing your heart out .

" tell me what's your favorite game i~" he smiled as he stole a few glanced at you

"girl you know you wanna play with it spend a couple days in it" you turned to him seductively winking before kissing his cheek.

You were different a good kind of different as much as he'd hate to lose you he felt he didn't have to.

~two years in~

Jungkook stared at you as you ran to the other side of the field in your summer dress loving how the sun shun against your silky s/c skin, how the dress exposed parts of your thick thighs. He adored the way your cheeks became full when you smiled and your cheekbones became prominent but he knew he couldn't love you as much as he loved being with you.

Even with the sun up, you were his only light. Picking up the frisbee you scoffed " unfair you throw too high" you whined before tossing it back. The disk toy flying smoothly throughout the air before he caught it

~flashback end~

You marched back down the stairs with a bag causing his expression to tense " what are you doing " you walked past him putting his shoes on " Your names on the house, you shouldn't have to leave " you muttered as the tears had come to a stop. He pulled you away from the door " no you-" he shook his head " you don't have to leave I broke your heart I did the damage I don't belong here" he went to leave yet your hand on the door only caused him more dismay.

He didn't want to cry, he turned his head as he removed your hand " stop" you whispered as the tears pricked your eyes again " please? I just wanna go" you tried not to break as your lips quivered, throat becoming tight " no" he said pulling you in.

" you can't, it feels so wrong" he cried making you look to the side as you but your lip " I don't know what you want from me honestly, I messed up and got into a relationship I didn't have any control over and-and" you began to cry

" and I hate how much I was right and how much my mom was right, how wrong I am, I fucked up I did this so wrong I-" you couldn't breathe. He shook his head as he hugged you " no-" once again cutting him off

" I shouldn't have let us last this long I knew better than that and you knew that yet I fell in love and as much as I tried to stop myself I ruined us" you felt weak as your knees gave in. He held you up refusing to let go " I did too" he muttered making you whine.

"then why are you leaving me, why are you hurting me, us!" You yelled as you couldn't contain your cries any longer. Swinging, pushing and punching him just wanting to get away " because I'm toxic I'm not good for you or us" he muttered " I'm leaving because of you I can't do this" he said finally letting you go.

You ran, not looking back you just ran hoping you wouldn't have the guts to look back, snatching the door open to leave. You couldn't stop remembering all the gold times, your first kiss. Your first everything was with him but it was all so wrong.

~flashback~

" sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time and all you can do is let go and hope that you come together in the future" your mother smiled as she brushed your hair " you just have to grow and wait and even if you don't end up with them you'll always belong to them just the hearts in a different body. You'll always love them but you'll move on and find happiness" she said as she continued stroking the same spot. " Have you ever met them?" You asked and she smiled " yeah and we were very young I allowed my relationship with my father and his relationship with my mother mold my relationships and instead of growing and coming back to him, me and your father got together" she spoke sadly. You nodded " I know you don't believe in love or want to because of us but I don't want that to defeat you, you'll find someone whether it's the right person at the wrong time or you find your happiness in a person who changes your life forever. Sometimes it's someone you know you can never be with no matter how right it feels they aren't meant to be" she kissed your head " but remember never stop running especially if it's hurting you, never stop running until you reach what you truly believe in" she put the brush down and walked out of your room.

~flashback end~

You screamed out as you ran not even knowing where you were headed. This was it maybe she was right he was right for you but not right now maybe later in life or maybe he felt right but it was wrong. Just a fairytale created by the two of you in your minds.

You didn't want to turn around in fear you'd go back, you didn't want to turn around in fear of knowing you'd go back. You don't want to stop running.

#kpop breakup angst #kpop #fanfiction #bts angst #bts #bts icons #bts jeon jungkook #bts jeon jungguk #bts jungguk #bts jungkook #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop bts #kpopbreakup #Spotify

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

mirrorball

Modern Day AU! Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years.

Word count: 2110

[a/n: thanks for being patient with me! hope you guys enjoy this new chapter! if i forgot to tag you please inbox me]

previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 20

Location: Brooklyn, NY

Year: Summer 2014

Steve flopped down onto his bed, tired after today's events. Elizabeth softly laid down next to him, Steve wrapped his arm around her bringing her closer to his chest.

"Today was a day," he tiredly says.

"You okay?" She asked him.

After Bucky had left there was a sadness aura that followed Steve for the rest of the party. He had no clue what he had expected Bucky's reaction to be, but definitely not the one he got. He had even prepared himself fo a fight, he was grateful that didn't happen. He just wasn't expecting for Bucky to shut down and leave. Not even accepting his offer of having a conversation later.

He knew that Bucky just needed his space, time to think it all over. But the look on Bucky's face had Steve questioning whether or not he would ever come around.

It threw Steve off when Bucky requested that he breakup with Elizabeth. He couldn't believe his best friend would want his own happiness to suffer.

His whole life he had done everything possible to keep Bucky happy. After what Bucky and his family had to go through with his father, Steve made it his mission to never let his friend feel that way again. Granted he was only 7 when he made that promise to himself, he still kept it.

Steve had never put himself first, at least not until he had made the decision to go to school in California. He had even thought about changing his plans after his breakup with Elizabeth but he knew his parents would've been disappointed with that decision.

He had put Bucky first his entire life, what he's doing isn't selfish. Yet he can't help but feel like the most selfish person ever.

What if he was keeping Elizabeth from truly being happy? What if she just didn't want to break his heart? What if she just didn't want to break his heart during a family event? What if come tomorrow she would tell him the truth, that she was really still in love with Bucky.

He's not sure he could handle that heartbreak.

"Want to tell me what's going on in that head of yours?" Elizabeth asked, breaking Steve from his self destructive thoughts.

"I won't be mad if you still love him," Steve says, "I'd understand."

Elizabeth quickly sat up to get a look of Steve's face to make sure he was being serious. It nearly broke her to see how defeated he looked. She's never seen him so down, not even after his breakup with Peggy.

"You don't have to pretend to save my feelings," he continues, "If it meant you were happy, that's all I care about. If being with Bucky makes you happy, then please don't let me stand in the way."

"Oh Steve," she gently caresses his face, staring down at him, "I wasn't lying earlier when I told Bucky that I didn't love him anymore. And i most definitely wasn't lying when I said that I love you, because I do love you, with my whole heart. You make me happy. The happiest I've ever been. Bucky was my past. You are my now, and hopefully my future.

"If you can't see how truly great you are, then I must not be doing my job as not only your girlfriend, but you're friend," she says, "Because you make me feel special every single day. And I just want you to feel the way you've made me feel."

"It's not your fault," Steve softly says, grasping her hand to place a kiss on her knuckles.

"Growing up I've always been second to Bucky," he explains, "Everyone seemed to prefer him over me. Whether it was girls or just our friends. It was always Bucky then Steve."

Elizabeth takes a moment to think back on their time growing up. She couldn't help but feel guilty when she realized that everything Steve is saying is true.

After she and Bucky got together, Steve sort of became an after thought, not because they purposefully excluded him, it never crossed their mind simply because Steve also had Peggy at the time. But after Peggy left, Elizabeth never really got to talk to Steve about how he felt, because she got caught up in her own drama.

"Steve, I'm so sorry," she apologizes, "I should've known then about how you felt. I was so caught up in my own shit, I never realized that you could've been going through your own stuff."

"Liz, it was never your fault," he says, "You were going through your own stuff. And I had learned to suppress it. Plus Bucky was your boyfriend at the time, of course i wasn't really on your mind. Plus it's kind of my fault for allowing it to happen. I never spoke up about it. I just always went along, figuring it was better than nothing."

"Once I got to Berkeley that's when everything changed," his mood shifts a bit to a much lighter feel, "I no longer felt like the shadow of a person. I felt like my own person for the first time ever. I was able to become someone I never thought possible. I am no longer 'scrawny Steve, Bucky's best friend'. I just became 'Steve' or 'Rogers'."

Elizabeth smiled at the way Steve's eyes lit up when talking.

"I had never imagined myself leaving New York, let alone making the permanent move to California," he confesses, "As much as I love it here, California is where I feel I belong. I know you feel it too."

Elizabeth nods her head agreeing with him. She felt the same way, as much as New York was her childhood home, California was where she felt her heart aching for. Where she felt like she belonged, where she could thrive. The more she spent time there, the more it felt like home, that's why moving there wasn't a tough decision for her.

"Coming back here," Steve says, causing Elizabeth to shift back her focus on him, "It just makes me feel like that scrawny kid all over again. I feel like no matter how hard I try to shed that image, Brooklyn will never see me for who I am now, but for who I was then. Like no matter what I do I will always be 'little' Steve Rogers."

"I know you feel it too," he says looking up at her.

She did. She did feel stuck in the past whenever she came back home. It seemed like life stood still here, while outside of Brooklyn everything is moving ahead. She knows it's only because she grew up there, and had nothing to do with Brooklyn itself. Once she was in California, she got a taste of life outside of Brooklyn, and she's not sure if she would want to go back. So moving there was an easier choice for her to make.

"I do," she agrees, "It's why moving to California was an easy decision for me to make."

"I wasn't even sure I was even going to make it to California," he says.

"Why is that?"

"Felt like I was disappointing my parents," he confesses, "We had always discussed me going to Columbia as a pre-med major. That had been the original plan. It wasn't like they were forcing it on me. More like I was forcing it onto myself.

"It was the 'safer' choice, granted the longer one, but in the end it all would've been worth it. For some reason as a child I believed that was the only way my parents would've been proud of me. Regardless of the fact that they were already proud and would tell me constantly. I just put that pressure on myself."

"It wasn't until junior year that Mr. Lawson, my high school art teacher said I should apply to some art schools," he continues, "Then after I had a long discussion with the guidance counselor she agreed as well, saying I would get in no problem with whatever art field I applied in.

"I never really gave my drawing much thought. It was just something I would do. Also a career in art is not exactly financially stable, or at all stable. But I figured it wouldn't hurt to apply to a couple of schools as an architecture major. Never really gave it a second thought."

Steve pauses, "I did get into Columbia."

"Steve, no fucking way," Elizabeth gasp sitting up straighter, "I never even heard."

"That's because I only told my parents," he says, "I got the acceptance email the same day I got NYU's and Berkeley's, where I hadn't applied as pre-med, which my parents didn't know of at the time."

"Wow," Elizabeth responds feeling herself become speechless. She had only known about NYU and Berkeley. She knew about NYU because that was the plan, they, including Bucky had discussed Freshman year. Back when she was still with Bucky, and Steve with Peggy and they all had planned to stay in New York. Before life got complicated.

"When I did get the Berkeley acceptance I had to come clean to my parents about what major I applied under. I was nervous, because a part of me never told them because I was worried I wouldn't get in. So seeing that acceptance it was the assurance I needed. One that really let me know that I could actually do it. And of course my parents were proud."

"Of course," Elizabeth smiles, "They would've been proud if you had decided to not even go to school and just worked in a restaurant."

"That's true," Steve lets out a small laugh, "And I think I more so didn't want to regret the decision. Leaving home to move across the country for a career that could be unstable. It's scary."

"Do you?" Elizabeth asks.

"Do I what?"

"Do you regret it?"

"Not one bit," he smiles, pulling her back down onto his chest.

They laid there in a comfortable silence. Steve ranking his fingers on Elizabeth's arm, feeling himself grow tired.

"I hope you know you're amazing," Elizabeth quietly says looking up at him with pure admiration in her eyes, "That I think you're amazing. I think you're one of the greatest people I have ever known. And if I have to spend my entire life showing you just how amazing I think you are, I will."

Age: 29

Year: 2023

Location: Santa Barbara, CA

Elizabeth giggled as Steve carried her over the threshold into their hotel room for the weekend. He kicked the door closed as he silenced her giggles with a kiss, before placing her on her feet.

"Why thank-you Mr. Rogers."

"You're very welcome Mrs. Rogers," he smiled brightly at his new wife.

Her makeup was slowly fading, hair no longer perfectly done after a night of dancing with their close loved ones. Steve just stares at her lovingly. He ahs never seen her more beautiful and the fact that he gets to be her husband for the rest of his life, he's never felt luckier.

Elizabeth feels his eyes just on her, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, just admiring my beautiful wife," he compliments, causing Elizabeth to blush.

"How about one more dance?" she asks.

"There's no music."

"When I'm with you there's always music," she says holding her hand out for him.

Steve pulled her to him, one hand grasped in her's, while the other lay on her lower back. Elizabeth's head rested on his chest, with Steve's chin softly resting on the top of it.

"You know I think you're amazing," Elizabeth says as they sway softly in each other's arms.

"You might've told me once or twice," he responds.

"Get used to it because I'm going to be telling you that for the rest of our lives."

"Nothing I want more than that," he kisses the top of her head.

"If you'd asked me to runaway with you to join a circus, I would in a heartbeat," she says.

"Oh really? If I lose my job, and having nothing to show for, you'd still be there?"

"Right next to you baby, every step of the way," she says looking up at him, "Plus you won't have nothing to show. You'll have me. You'll have us. With me by your side I'll make sure you never not know how much you mean to me."

"You've made me believe in love again when I thought it wasn't possible. You've made me love myself in a way that I didn't think were possible. You make me a better human being by just being you. I love you Steve, more than anything.

"So if everything were to go to shit, as long as I have you that's all I need. I'll be there reminding you every single day just how special you are to me."

"I love you," Steve smiles as tears fall from his eyes.

#folklore #folklore song series #folklore mirrorball #mirrorball #mirrorball taylor swift #mirrorball song seires #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x original character #Steve rogers x OC!female #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #angst #fluff #original character series #Steve rogers modern au #steve rogers modern day

[banditthewriter]

Youv mentioned Highly Suspect with your spotify wrapped so what are some of your favorite songs from them? I want to listen to them for you

One of my love languages is definitely music suggestions. And I don't know what it is about Highly Suspect but...I usually have them on blast in my headphones. So! Here ya go! In no order, just what I'm finding on my spotify as I go through.

** has the most plays

Lydia I've seen better days So unafraid in my youth I can't breathe, much less believe the truth Better days, so unafraid in my youth I can't breathe, much less believe the truth

**Little One Hey, little one I'm so scared of what this could have been I know that today I lost my only little one (my little one) I'm so scared of what this could have been I know that today I lost my only friend

**Bloodfeather In the name of love, I'll follow you You fit me like a glove when I'm inside of you And if my body's dead and cold, I'd die for you In the name of love, I'll kill for I'll kill for you

**Fly Got a brother I know that I don't call enough "Hey baby boy, what's up, I miss you so much" Got a father that raised me when shit got tough But we don't really know how to talk about stuff Got a mother I ain't seen in eighteen years Just know that I forgive you, there's been too many tears I hope I don't get any older With this chip up on my shoulder I think it's time I switched it all up

**Upperdrugs So let's go (let's go) Yeah, I can push you against the wall I might as well make another mistake

**16 Well it took me 16 years to find ya One second to love ya Seven years to hold ya And just one minute to lose ya Oh, God, yeah Where did I go wrong? Yeah Where did you go?

**Wolf No one pretends the way I do It's so hard to hear the truth You've got your reasons, so do I I like to dream, 'cause dreams don't lie

Chicago 'Cause sometimes you get so angry And I take it personal And I should've known That you were only hurting 'Cause life can be uncertain When you're only 19 years old

**My Name Is Human I'm feeling the way that I'm feeling myself Fuck everyone else Gotta remember that nobody is better than anyone else, here (Do you need some time to think it over?) Look what they do to you Look what they do to me Must be joking if you think that either one is free, here

**F**K Me Up Hey, little girl, I know you know how to move You're dropping it down like you got something to prove Your freaky hips and them big fat thighs I wanna get a taste of what you got inside I said now, hey, little girl, you rip off your shirt Lean on your heels while I lift up your skirt Don't ask me for my name, it's not a part of the plan All you gotta know is I'm a dangerous man

**For Billy But you too flew too close to a burning sun At least we got it in when we were young I know It still feels like yesterday I'll love you, always

**Viper Strike Maybe one day Love will conquer all But in the mean time, you can try to build your walls Our generation We're taking over Hope we don't die with that Chip on your shoulder

**Send Me An Angel Open fire on my burning heart I've never been lucky in love My defenses are down, a kiss or a frown I can't survive on my own

Tokyo Ghoul (feat. Young Thug) You say that you love me But I don't wanna be your slave So many people judge me But would they follow me to my grave? You say that you love me, ayy But only if I stay the same Baby, I'm leaving, ayy 'Cause I don't wanna play these games

Snow White Why did you wait so long to admit that something is wrong When you knew all along that you're Turning into something that you hate? Oh God, I swear that I can be strong I'll kick as soon as it's gone 'Cause I don't wanna be something I hate

[rewrite-canon]

Fifteen Minutes

Monster Prom // No Pairings // 2609 Words // Lyrics by Mike Krol

“What if I told you that the world was gonna end? And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?” Vicky sings, bobbing her head to the tune that seemed to be playing in her head.

“What lame shit are you singing now?” Damien demanded, flicking a finger at her.

“None of your business,” Vicky bristled. “Why do you care anyway?”

I sucked in a breath. Vicky was really pushing it now. I think she is the only one with balls low enough to question Damien. Besides me, obviously. Well, Vera and Brian were plenty badass for it too. But only because Vera had enough brain cells to manipulate the way she said it that it looked like she wasn’t confronting him, and also because Brian gave no fucks whatsoever about Damien’s chaotic behaviour. Even now, I shudder to think of some of the arguments Damien and Brian had had.

And speaking of the devil and his green mates, they were huddled together in a manner that only meant no good. Now, Damien had swivelled around to face Vicky, a sneer on his face. I was sure his eyes would flare in rage at her question (they were always somewhat flared with rage), but instead they narrowed and Damien just frowned.

“Because you're distracting me, Brian and Vera from devising a plan to ransack the new substitute’s office with horny epileptics from hell for when he starts looking at our attendance records,” Damien said, gesturing to Brian, who had looked up blankly, and Vera, who was wearing her trademark scowl.

I should've known. Damien had always had a weird soft spot for Vicky (and Oz and Scott, but everybody had a soft spot for Oz and Scott).

“And steal his things,” Vera added. “I heard ghouls were filthy rich.”

“Great,” Brian rolled his eyes sarcastically at her. “So you're just going to waltz into Mr Devido’s office whilst he's being assaulted by epileptic demons and take your time picking and choosing what's valuable enough for your standards, unaware? Great plan, Vera. I thought you were supposed to be a grand schemer.”

Meanwhile, Vicky went back to humming her little tune. Miranda, who was in the middle of braiding Liam’s hair as he was browsing his phone (a seemingly pure act, if you ignored the fact that he was reading erotic gay smut and she kept rambling on her father’s new murderous conquests), looked up at her and smiled warmly. She soon picked up the few words Vicky sang, and began to sing it too, Liam then unconsciously murmuring them too after a while.

“I am, you ungrateful toad,” Vera snapped in the meantime. “Would you be paying attention to anything else around you if you were being grinded on by demons having seizures?”

Brian seemed to mull it over, then he said, “You’ve got a point.”

Polly, who had her head laid in Oz’s lap (poor Oz was trying to do homework, and ignore the heinous acts his friends were planning to commit) and her feet were resting in Scott’s lap (Scott was just chewing on a football, only to stop, look up, and smile adorably at everybody) and was complaining loudly at how bored and sober she was, and how she hadn't got completely wasted in seven hours.

“Seven hours!” She cried out, either to Oz or Scott, but it might as well of been no one, because no one was really listening. “That's the longest I've ever been without drugs and adrenaline coursing through my undead body! Can you imagine? And it's because I'm hanging out with you borings fuckheads. I mean, I'm literally in the lap of somebody doing fucking homework. I haven't even said the word ‘homework’ in centuries. And I'm not even on Oz’s lap in a sexual way so what even is the fucking point–?”

“–And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?”

<!— more —>

“What the fuck are you singing?!” Damien roared at Liam, who jerked in alarm, Miranda, who just grinned evilly, and Vicky, who just rolled her eyes at his drama. “It’s going to make me go insane!”

“More insane than you already are?” I prompted, not being able to help myself.

Damien’s scorching eyes turned to me, and I snickered. He’s so easy to piss off.

“Amira,” he growled at me, “tell Vicky and company to shut the fuck up. They respect you for some reason.”

“It’s because she has really fucking good music taste,” Polly answered for Damien. “Like, it’s seriously good.”

Everyone collectively nodded, and I blushed.

“Wow guys,” I said, feeling this was a good time to talk about Rex Orange County’s new album, “it’s not that–”

“What would you guys do if you had fifteen minutes left in life?” Scott blurted, a troubled (yet absolutely adorable) expression on his face.

“I'd probably try to fuck up the world even more,” Polly said immediately, grinning at the thought. “I think I'd try to burn down everything, spray some secret concoction to get people incredibly horny, watch them get at it as they're burning to death, and I plan to do this all while riding a donkey casually.”

“To be honest, I'd probably try to finish this first and foremost,” Liam said, holding up his phone. Then he smiled goofily. “This shit is good.”

“Would you spend it with me and friends?” Scott said, wide-eyed.

Polly and Liam looked at him, at his vulnerable face, and I knew what they were going to say before they said it.

“Of course!” Polly said enthusiastically. “Yeah, doing all that with you guys would make it even more rad!”

“Yeah,” Liam added, but then blushed in that cute, shy way. “But I don’t know how much you guys would love reading this with me.”

“I’d love doing everything with you both,” Scott grinned, his mood instantly picking up, as Polly choked at the statement. He then turned to look at Damien and Oz.

“How about you two?” Scott queried, and I laughed a bit about how Damien’s face scrunched up as he started to think about. No doubt he was using his maximum brain power.

“To be honest, I’m probably the one who is ending the world,” Damien remarked, and everyone started to nod their heads in agreement. “So, sorry about that in advance.”

“I’d probably have to finish this Monsters' History homework first,” Oz said, gesturing awkwardly at his essay he was writing out, “and then I’d probably straighten up all my debts and then–”

“Oh my Satan, Oz, shut it,” Damien said, massaging his temples, as if Oz’s statement caused him physical harm. “It makes me sad, that you would say that. And it also makes me impeccably annoyed with you. And now I feel hostile.”

“When do you not feel hostile, though?” Vicky and I said at the same time, and then we grin at each other and high five.

Damien glared at us, whilst Oz is quick to defuse the fire.

“Well, sorry Damien, but I'm just being honest,” he said quickly, drawing Damien’s attention to him (which is kinda ballsy, if I do say so myself). “But what I do know,” Oz continued bravely, under Damien's smouldering gaze, “is that I wouldn't mind ending the world with you, Damien.”

It's hilarious, seeing Damien’s naturally red face get even redder, and to see Oz realise what he just said and sputter innocently. Vera, however, is not pleased.

“Oh,” she said, sniffing in jealous offence (that takes me all the willpower I possessed not to burst into giggling fits, and I could see I wasn't the only one struggling there, because Polly was just barely keeping it down), “I see how it is. You would destroy the world with Damien, but not with me, Oz?”

“What? No! Of course I would want to do everything with you–” and then Oz’s voice died and Polly finally lost it, which made me burst as well, and the next thing you know Vicky was also giggling along with us. Even Brian seemed to be smirking.

Vera glared at us, which made Vicky and me shut up, and Brian just lost his amused expression naturally, but Polly was undeterred.

“For the record,” Damien said in a weird, insecure, shy tone that made him sound like an entirely different person. “I don't, you know, mind doing homework or whatever nerdy stuff with you, Oz.”

And now Brian was the one sputtering.

“Oh you fucking snot,” he spat, and both Damien and Oz flinched before they could get any more flustered (watching those two try to interact and connect was the funniest shit ever, everyone agreed). “So when I asked for you to hang out with me when I was doing my homework, do you remember what you told me? You told me to get fucked!”

Was it just me, or did Brian genuinely sound hurt? It must've not only been me, because Scott started to pout and put a gentle (albeit big and hairy) hand on Brian’s shoulder, which at least made Brian relax at his touch a bit (if anyone had the power of friendship at their fingertips, it was Scott). Even Liam looked up, vaguely distraught.

“That was only because you had Liam and Miranda over,” Damien, sniffing indignantly. “And if I went, I knew you wouldn't stop making heart eyes at Miranda, so I blew it off to commit tax fraud with Amira. But if you really wanted me to come, then you should've just, you should've just–”

Damien looked at a loss.

“Told him how you really felt?” Vicky prompted, and Damien snapped his fingers.

“Yes!” He exclaimed. “That.”

“What would you do then, Brian and Vera? If you had fifteen minutes?” Miranda asked this time, her eyes shining with curiosity.

“Spend all the millions I’ve earned to hire a gang and assassinate anyone who had ever crossed me,” Vera said without hesitating. “Then, I shall have them skinned and made into fabulous purses. And then I will sell those purses to earn me even more money, and use that to buy us all really expensive, furnished mansions, with servants and multicultural cuisines and everything, so we can live the rest of our lives in absolute luxury.”

Awww. That was actually quite adorable. Vera cares about our lifestyles too!

“And you plan to do this all in fifteen minutes?” Liam asked, deadpan.

“You'd be surprised at how efficient I am,” Vera sniffed, but I didn't think I'd actually be that surprised.

“Definitely not hang out with Damien,” Brian sniffed sourly after Vera had shared. “I guess try to finish off ransacking the new substitute’s office with horny epileptics with Vera. And then, I don't know. Relax and await my death.”

“Well, that's fucking depressing,” Polly murmured to me. “And I didn't know I was capable of getting depressed.”

I snorted. Was she still astounded about how somber Brian was?

“Wouldn't you still have to hang out with Damien to continue your plan with the horny epileptics, though?” Liam asked.

“Well, yeah, fine,” Brian said, not making eye contact with his demon friend (who was trying to make eye contact with him, and honestly, it was shocking how much Brian and Damien got into their own squabbles). “But I don't have to talk to him. That can be Vera’s job.”

“I'm not being your owl!” Vera hissed at him, and she actually hissed. Her small green snakes on her head did too, showing how much she detested the idea.

“What if you were paid?” Miranda queried, probably just out of curiosity, but Vera’s hissing ceased immediately.

Before Vera could discuss any specifics, Vicky butted in.

“I’ve thought about this one,” she said smugly, and no one was surprised. Number one, Vicky had thought about scenarios for everything. And number two, she probably would've thought of this before if she knew the song beforehand. “I would make it my life's goal to find the tastiest flavour of ice cream in all the dimensions! And once I find that ice cream, I will use a device that I would have Calculester make me, that clones the ice cream! And then I will bring all the ice cream back to this dimension and invite all of you guys over and we can eat the ice cream together!”

Everyone seemed to enjoy that idea, except one frowning ghost.

“Um, hello?” Polly asked, raising a hand and gesturing to herself. “Did you forget about me?”

“Of course not!” Vicky exclaimed emotionally. “Caculester is now working on a device that makes food into incorporeal substance that you can digest, Polly. Because, seriously, it breaks my heart that you can't eat. It really does.”

Polly seemed satisfied enough with that answer.

“How did you get Calculester to do that for you?” I ask.

Vicky winked. “Let's just say I turned on my unwavering charm to that library computer. And he didn't stand a chance.”

“If I had fifteen minutes left, I would want to be coronated,” Miaranda said, poshly. “I would invite you all to my coronation, of course. And then once I am mermaid queen I will throw an amazing national party for all of us to enjoy, whilst forcing my endless numbers of slaves to fight each other to the death for our entertainment! Oh, I can see it all coming together!”

Miranda’s expression turned dreamy, which was cute but also quite disturbing since she was thinking about bloodshed. Damien started to nod in approval, though. He seemed to like the idea. Bloody royals.

“I would want to take all of you to the park, where we can have a picnic, and hold hands, and give each other gifts to show how much we care for one another!” Scott said, his tail wagging happily. “And then we can sing songs and die happy with each other, knowing that we love us!”

Scott was so adorable, everyone looked misty-eyed. Vicky leapt up to wrap her arms around Scott, her affection for him seeming to be too overwhelming for her (Scott didn't complain, though). Brian was smiling, and seemed to forget about his brief argument with Damien, because now they were both grinning at each other. Liam was even beaming.

“Ew,” Vera finally said. “I can't believe you all liked that.” She pointed a finger at Scott. “Say that again and you will give me diabetes. I just hope you know that.”

But we all knew she secretly liked the sodding friendship story Scott came up with.

“What's diabetes?” Scott said, bushy eyebrows creasing.

“How about you, Amira?” Oz piped up, and all eyes were suddenly on me. “You haven't said what you would do.”

I mulled it over for a bit, but then spoke up without there being much mental contest.

“Probably make you all listen to the new Rex Orange County playlist,” I said, and Vicky and Damien sniggered.

“You're so predictable,” Vicky giggled.

“What can I say?” I shrug, breaking into a smile too. “My reputation precedes me.”

We all sit there in contented silence for a bit, just enjoying and treasuring one another.

“There's just one problem,” I said, drawing everyone's attention again. “How would we plan to do all of what we all want to do in fifteen minutes? Seems impossible.”

Brian started to smirk, and then Miranda started to smile, and soon Polly was also grinning.

“We’d figure it out,” Brian said. “I bet we would. We've already done so many impossible things in our weirdass lifetimes.”

I shared a smile with him.

“Yeah,” I said finally. “Fifteen minutes is nothing for us.”

#monster prom #mike krol #fifteen minutes #just a lil somthing i whipped up #oneshot #damien lavey #miranda vanderbilt #polly geist #scott howl #oz #oz monster prom #liam de lioncourt #vera oberlin #brian yu #vicky schmdit #amira rashid #calculester hewlett packard #second term

[dogge-chan]

Reset

Park Jisung ff please don't read this if you're not in a good place right now.

• pairing: Park Jisung x reader

• genre/warnings: self-harm, su1cide attempt, angst, guilt, romance?

• word count: 475 words

• chapters: 1/??

➝ summary: Reader attempts su1cide oh god, again, pls don't read this if you know you are NOT well right now. Jisung Pwark finds reader on the floor and is pained '-'

a/n: I originally uploaded this years ago on wattpad but I read it again and I was physically pained because of the cringe. I tweaked that shit and I might just edit/change the whole story if I feel like it. Hope ya'll enjoy the pain.

Jisung's P.O.V.

Bright lights. The smell of antiseptic. The lady at the counter rudely expressing her dissatisfaction towards the staff despite knowing full-well that they have no power over the life of her kid but the staff knows better so they stand there and let her vent. None of these are making things any better right now.

My leg is getting cramped from my foot tapping. How long has it been? An hour? Two hours? Where the hell are your parents? Your brother? They said they'd come. Fucking liars. None of this would've happened if it weren't for them- yeah. Them.

-flashback-

Y/N. She's late again. Why am I not surprised? To hell with it, I'll pick her up myself. I swear I'll give her a mouthful this time. Why isn't she answering her phone though?

*Ding Dong*

...

*Ding Dong*

She's really avoiding me, huh? She could've just cancelled if she's this intent on hiding from me.

"Ya, I'm coming in. Heh. Guess you forgot I knew your passcode. If you didn't want to meet up you could've just said so. I'm saying this but I'm actually gonna drag you along with me whether you like it or not 'cause the reservation has already been made. If you don't want me to get physical I suggest you-"

The world stopped.

The bustling cars outside stopped honking. Your neighbor on the right stopped playing Kreutzer. Your neighbor on the left stopped drilling the wall. The water from your shower head stopped dripping.

There was only you. Me.

Me, standing in your doorway. You, on the bathroom floor. You, covered in blood. Me, staggering towards you.

You. Me.

You, are you breathing?

...

Thank God.

Please. Hang in there.

Fuck, my hands are shaking. Phone, where's my phone? Pocket. Okay, dial. Shit, what's their number? 911? No, idiot. 119. I can't see. This is not the time for crying.

Don't leave.

"Hello this is the emergency hotline, how may I-"

"Injury. Severe. Uh, we're at *insert address*. I-I don't know how long she's been unconscious but she's breathing. Barely. I just found her. P-please hurry."

"Okay, thank you. Stay calm, as much as possible. An ambulance is on its way. Don't leave her side and monitor her status."

"Yes, I will. Thank you."

*Operator hangs up*

The urge to hit my head is tempting but seeing you in this state stops me.

What happened? How long have you been in here? What would you have done if I hadn't come? I knew you had problems and... I thought you were getting better. I thought-... I thought you were in a good place.

My knuckles have gone white from gripping your sleeve. Your weak breathing in my arms hurts me. I... I should've known better than anyone else.

I'm here now. You're not alone anymore.

-end of flashback-

---

That's it for the first chapter, thanks for reading ♡

[uta-no-knb]

OH!! open ask box? Yay! I'm excited! So I was thinking.. Wanna write a scenario with Kasamatsu (you should've known ;D) where he's feeling down because his family went on a trip without him (since he was busy with studies/basketball) and his s/o doesn't know and tries to figure out why he's being distant? (please include fluffy hugs and kisses ! :D )

YESSSSSS!! BAE FOR THE WIN!

*Note: I will be fixing any typos and grammar when I get on my laptop (I’m on my iPad ATM)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good morning, Yukio!” you said, as you skipped towards his locker with a smile on your face. The moment you reached him and gave him a hug, he just pushed you away, and mumbled a good morning before walking off to his class.

You stared dumbfounded as you watched him walk away. With a sigh, you walked towards your own class, contemplating the different scenarios that could have caused him to act this way. ‘

Maybe his grades are slipping? Or maybe stress from the finals coming up. You paused as one more possible scenario cross your mind. Does he…is he…breaking up with me? Your heart sank at that thought.

You two have known each other for years - since you two are neighbors-and have only been together for a few months, but the thought of him leaving you-your best friend-hurt; your heart sank.

With a sigh, you resumed walking to your class, putting on a fake smile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“(F/N)-chi!!” A loud voice exclaimed, as you felt an arm wrap around your shoulder.

Looking up, your (h/c) eyes met with a pair of gold ones. “Hey Kise,” you smiled, trying your best to act like yourself. “Don’t you have practice?”

“Yea, but I saw you walking and wanted to say hi.” He paused as he looked at where you two were. “The gym isn’t this way you know.”

“I know. I’m just going to head home.”

“But you always come to practice to see Senpai.”

“Yea, but I’m not feeling so great. I’ll call him later.” You walked away, waving at the blond. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

~~~~~~~~~~~You let out a sigh as you walked home alone; and it felt weird. Usually you had Kasamatsu by your side, yelling at an annoying Kise. You smiled as you recalled some of the memories, only for the smile to fade.

Guess it won’t happen again, you thought, trying your best to hold back your tears.

As you got to your street, you looked up and saw Kasamatsu’s house. The tears you were trying to hold back rolled down your face as you approached the door to your own house.

Walking up the stairs to your room, scenarios of why he would want to break up with you swam through your head.

His birthday isn’t for another month so that can’t be it. It’s not our anniversary…I guess the only reason is that he does want to break up.

The moment you closed the door to your room, you leaned against it and slid down the door, burying your head into your arms.

You were so heartbroken that you didn’t even hear your phone ringing.

After crying for a while-just to make sure that you cried it all out, you decided to go out for a walk. Once again you walked past Kasamatsu’s house, only to pause. You noticed that his parents car was not in the driveway.

You took out your cellphone and checked the time; they should’ve been home by now. Worried, you ran into his backyard, remembering that his family rarely locked their back door (the exception is at night time). YOu twisted the handle only for it to be locked.

Turning, you bent down and picked up a rock, which held a spare key. You chuckled as you remember the reason why Kasamatsu had moved the original location of his key (“Kise managed to find the key. I’m not taking any chances”)

You put the key in the lock and entered the house when you heard the lock unlock. Walking in the kitchen, you notice that the lights were off and that none of the dishes were cleaned; you found this odd since his mom was obsessed with having a clean kitchen.

Walking into the living room, your eyes landed on a piece of paper on the coffee table. Curiously, you approached it and read the letter.

Yuki,

As you know, we went to visit your grandparents. We honestly wish you were able to join us, but we know that you take your studies very seriously; your father and I are so proud of you. Your grandparents understand that in addition to your studies, you have the WINter cup coming up and much like your school work, you value your teammates. We were honestly considering having you missed school, but we know that you wouldn’t like that.

Enjoy the quiet in the house. If you need any help, don’t be afraid to go to (L/N)’s house.

We will miss you,

~Mom

P.S. Your grandparents are excited to watch you play in the winter cup-yes, we’ll be watching it. You got this!

Staying quiet, you sat down on the couch,, eyeing the letter that’s in your hand.

So that’s why he’s upset, you thought, the feeling of relief flooding your system. here has to be something that I could do.

Perking your head up, an idea entered your head.

YOu were going to cheer him up.

~~~~~~~~(Time Skip)

Letting out a sigh, Kasamatsu walked through the door of his house. “I’m home,” he said, knowing that he wouldn’t get a response.

He perked his head up as he heard the sound of something crashing, followed by a simple “shit”.

Panicked that someone broke in, he grabbed the closest item, which happened to be a vacuum extender, and walked in the kitchen.

Peering around the corner cautiously, he inwardly let out a sigh of relief as he saw you at the sink, running your finger under what he assumed was cold water.

“Where does she keep the damn oven mitts,” you growled.

“The drawer next to the oven,” he chuckled, startling you.

“Holy shit!” You exclaimed, jumping. “When did you get home?”

“Just a few seconds ago,” he said, placing the vacuum attachment down on the kitchen table. “I wasn’t expecting you here; I thought someone broke in.”

You smiled and were about to say something only to pause and look at him. “Yukio…if you thought someone broke in, you would use a vacuum attachment? What for? To get that extra dirt that the vacuum alone can’t get?” You cracked a smile.

“Oi. It was the first thing that I was able to get ahold of,” he started, walking towards you, “It was on the table by the door and I was more concerned about someone breaking in.” He paused. “How did you even get in?”

“The back door,” you said, jabbing your thumb over your shoulder, pointing to the back door. “I honestly thought something had happened since I didn’t see your moms car in the driveway like usual, so I used the spare key that was in the rock with the secret compartment.”

“You mean the Kise Repellent Rock?” He chuckled, as you nodded in response. “I’m happy you’re concerned, but what are you doing in the kitchen?”

With a sigh, you took out the note that his mom wrote and put it on the counter. “I was worried about you,” you started. “I was worried about how you’re acting towards me today-actually this whole week, and I feared the worst; that you were going to break up with me.” Your eyes started to water a bit as you wiped a tear that was about to form. “So after I came into the house, I saw the note and realized I was being stupid and I wanted to make you something to hopefully cheer you up…so I thought cookies; cookies make everyone happy.” You glared at the cookies that we’re currently on the tray on top of the stove.

He was silent as you continued.

“I know how much you value family, and it makes sense that you would be upset about not being able to join them, but they’re kinda right; school is important. Plus, I wouldn’t be able to control Kise as well as you can; and we have the Winter Cup coming up. .” You looked at him and noticed that his eyes were watering. “Yukio, why are you-”

He reached out and grabbed your arm, quickly bringing you into a hug; his arms wrapped tightly around you. “Thank you,” he said, trying hard to make sure his voice doesn’t crack.

You smiled into his chest and hugged him back. “Anything for my best friend.” You nuzzled your face into his chest and let out a sigh of content; however shortly after you let out a hiss of pain.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, separating you from him. He noticed that your eyes were starting to water once again. “Why are you the one who’s crying? It should be me, no?”

“Yea but,” you started as you held up your finger, which was currently red. “I burned myself on the cookie tray and it hurts.” You pouted as he just chuckled.

He took your hand in his and lifted up your pointer finger gently and kissed it quickly. “Did that help?”

With a red face you nodded. “Yea it surprisingly did,” you chuckled. You noticed him smiling and looking at you, his eyes gentle. “Do I have something on my face?” You asked.

Letting out a brief chuckle, he ducked his head in and kissed you.

Unlike most girls who have their first kiss, you didn’t open your eyes in shock. Instead you kissed him back almost immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck. You broke the kiss and looked at him; your eyes connecting with his, as he rested his forehead against your own. Your heart was beating fast; butterflies in your stomach.

“You do know what a kiss on the lips stands for right?” You asked softly.

He nodded and response and whispered, “it means ‘I love you’”.

With a goofy grin on your face, he quickly pecked your lips and pulled away. He raised an eyebrow and sniffed the air. “Is something burning?”

“Fuck! The cookies!” You exclaimed running towards the oven, grabbing the oven mitts this time.

Kasamatsu couldn’t help but laugh.

He was dating his best friend-and she’s in his kitchen, trying to cheer him up. Falling in love with you was the best thing he could’ve ever done. He walked over to you to help.

…Maybe having his family leave was actually a good thing.~~~~~~~Bonus

Once the cookies were finished (luckily, the ones that were left in the oven weren’t burned too bad), you and Kasamatsu went into the living room and put on a movie; a pitcher of milk and a huge plate of cookies were on the coffee table. You were nestled into Kasamatsu’s side under a blanket as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and held you close, placing quick kisses on the top of your head every now and then; you retaliated by always pecking his cheek.

“Do I smell cookies!” A voice exclaimed, startling the two of you; you accidentally elbowing him in the ribs.

“I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed, jumping away from him. “Are you okay?”

He grunted in response and looked at you. “At least it wasn’t below the belt.” His focus suddenly changed as a figured walked into the room. “What are you doing here and how the hell did you get in?!”

“I found a rock by the back door that had a spare key in it-Oooh! You’re watching (favorite tv show)!” He exclaimed about to jump over the couch. Instantly, and in a blink of an eye, your boyfriend kicked him in the stomach, causing his stomach to hit the back of the couch.

“Idiot! You don’t just enter someone’s house with a spare key that you find! I’ll hit you!”

“You already did, senpai,” he whined.

You chuckled and shook your head as the two males playfully bickered with each other.

Yup. Dating my best friend was the best decision I ever made.’

Don’t you dare touch my cookies!&l

***************

You can tell I had a lot of fun with this one…it’s Kasa I mean how can you nothave fun writing him. I hope you enjoyed the fluid, Tia!

Until Next time!

~Jupie

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Buster

Bea: Is it true? Buster: Do you wanna be more specific or do you want me to guess what you mean? Bea: Buster Bea: Did I not make myself clear, did I not implicitly tell you to slow down Buster: Yeah, but this isn't about you, mum Buster: I didn't do this just to annoy you, like Bea: Well I wasn't telling you for myself Buster: Well, I don't need the warning Buster: It's fine Bea: No, you did but you haven't listened Bea: Jesus Bea: putting aside the real issue here, you should be saving for Uni, if you want to go to America that won't be cheap Buster: I'm going to Trinity, it's already been decided Bea: You haven't even got your conditional offers yet you have to keep your options open Buster: They'll offer me a place Bea: Do you even want to go there or are you just going because it's near her Buster: I wanna be with her so it's the same thing Buster: I'm not gonna go miles away Bea: It's not, you need to pick the best University for you based on what you want to do Bea: nothing else Buster: She's got things she wants to do too, I'm not asking her to put her life on hold Buster: Besides, I've toured it, it's a good school Buster: Calm down Bea: I'm not concerned about her life Bea: it's yours, you need to do what's right for you Buster: I am though Bea: Are you? Bea: Or are you being short-sighted Buster: I'm not asking you to be happy about it, but I am Bea: For now Bea: less so when this all falls apart and you're stuck that close to them all Buster: That's not gonna happen Buster: But it's nice to know you're so convinced it will Bea: One of us needs to be realistic Buster: How is that the realistic option? It didn't happen to you and dad Bea: It still could've Bea: and we still went to the Unis we wanted to go to and did our own thing Buster: And it nearly broke you up Buster: I can succeed at any uni Buster: I like Dublin Bea: This is beside the point Bea: we've never said we're a shining example Buster: What is your point, mum? Buster: You're not gonna change my mind Bea: My point is you're being really stupid Buster: I'm not Buster: But unsurprisingly, I don't care if you think so Buster: I've made loads of mistakes but this isn't one Bea: We didn't work this hard for you to make the same mistakes we did Buster: Like I said, I'm not making a mistake Buster: It's a shame you didn't fight this hard when other members of the fam were, but you know Bea: What's that supposed to mean? Buster: You really don't need a list, do you? Buster: Look at the fucked up mess everybody is in Bea: They're not my children Bea: That's not my job Buster: Well played Buster: Focus all your energy on this instead, yeah? Buster: I get it, but honestly, there's no need Bea: You think Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm good Buster: You don't need to worry about me Bea: Good one Buster: What do you want me to say? Buster: I'm not going to America Buster: I'm gonna marry Rio one day Buster: Support it or don't Bea: I want you to think about this more than you have Bea: You've just turned 18, this is ridiculous Buster: I have thought about it, I do, it's basically all I think about Buster: And we aren't having the wedding next week, like Bea: You've not even had a real girlfriend before this Buster: 'Cause I've always wanted to be with her Buster: Don't you understand that yet? Bea: You're too young to know what you want Buster: Bullshit Buster: You weren't. Her parents weren't Bea: Stop holding us up as examples when we aren't Bea: Do better, Buster Buster: Give me some credit Buster: Not to mention, give yourself like Buster: some* Bea: I just don't want you to get hurt Bea: or think you have to make such serious decisions right now, what's the rush? Buster: You can't protect me from any of that shit, believe me, I wish you could too and I know Nance does but that's not the way things work Buster: It's gonna be okay, mum, just trust me Buster: You always told me I can do anything, be anything I want, there's no going back on it now and you don't really wanna Buster: I'm trying to tell you, there isn't any rush, we aren't getting married yet Bea: I just don't understand why you feel the need to do this Bea: but no, I can't stop you Buster: Yes you do Buster: You know how much we have to prove to everyone Buster: But that's not even why, I love her and I want to marry her Buster: Why's that so bad? Buster: Aren't we allowed to be happy? Christ Bea: Of course Bea: of course we want you to be happy Buster: Just not with her then or what? Buster: Or am I supposed to wait around until I'm 40 until its valid Bea: It's like you said Bea: You have to learn these lessons yourself Buster: I'm not the one with a problem Bea: I just think there are better ways you could spend your time and money right now Buster: Like by running off to America and acting like I might not have a baby on the way? Is that your big plan for me, yeah? Bea: Do you really want that girl in your life Bea: I don't think so Buster: Of course I don't Buster: But we've had that convo already, it's not a choice Bea: If you say so Buster: Why do you want me to run away so badly? Bea: I don't Bea: I want you to do what's right for you Buster: That's what I'm doing Buster: Stop fighting me on it Bea: I'm not fighting you on it, I'm questioning it and I'd be a pretty shit parent if I didn't Buster: Fine Buster: Whatever Bea: How has everyone else taken it? Buster: As expected Buster: But we're not exactly shouting it from the rooftops, like Bea: You can't expect people not to notice though Buster: We aren't, we're just not throwing it in their faces either Bea: Well Bea: you're not exactly being inconspicuous with it either Buster: Good. We don't wanna be Buster: I'm not ashamed, mum, sorry if that's how you want it Bea: Is that what I said? Bea: Don't put words in my mouth Bea: Have you spoken to your sister yet? Buster: Well, you don't want me to be with her, you've all but said that with your own actual words so Buster: And no, I haven't Buster: It'll be better coming from Rio Bea: Probably Bea: but you can't avoid her forever Buster: I'm hardly avoiding her, we're in different cities Buster: You want me at school, I'm at school Bea: Don't get shirty Bea: She'll have questions for you that Rio can't answer, is all Buster: She knows where I am Bea: You're capable of meeting her halfway Buster: I'm not the one with questions Buster: And I'm not looking for her validation any more than I am yours Bea: I don't know what to say to you Buster: Then end the conversation Buster: It speaks for itself Bea: Don't tell me what to do Bea: I don't think you appreciate how much of a shock this is for everyone else Bea: You may have known for however long you claim but it wasn't known, okay Buster: I'm not stupid Buster: But I am done letting everyone else's reactions dictate to me Buster: Everything I've done and not done is always about what the rest of you are gonna say or think or do about it Buster: I don't think you appreciate how unhappy I was for years pretending that I felt the opposite to how I do Buster: At least Nance will understand that, if nothing else Bea: I'm sorry you felt that way Bea: we never asked you to be something you're not but if that's how you understood it then Bea: I guess we have some reflecting to do Buster: I'm not blaming you Buster: I still did what I did and made my own choices Buster: But those were the wrong ones and this is right Bea: It isn't good enough Bea: because I knew you weren't happy but I didn't do enough about it Buster joined the chat 90 minutes ago Buster: What could you have done? It's not like I came to you about it Buster: Or would've Buster: Don't beat yourself up about it Bea: Yeah well Bea: you should've been able to shouldn't you Buster: I'm a teenage boy and you're my mum so I'm gonna go ahead and say no Buster: That'd be weird Bea: Your Dad then Bea: Whatever Bea: the important things Buster: Come on Buster: I have and you've helped me loads Bea: None of that matters if you weren't happy, Buster Bea: Don't you know that? Buster: I'm happy now Buster: That's what matters Bea: You are? Buster: Of course Bea: No bullshit? Buster: I'm happy, mum Bea: Good Bea: That's okay then Buster: Are we? Buster: I don't wanna fight with you Bea: Yeah Buster: Alright, good Bea: Well Bea: That's all I had to say Buster: Yeah Buster: How's Ro or is that a stupid question? Bea: Ha Bea: Nightmare Bea: Convinced she's in labour constantly but she isn't Buster: Can they not bring it on at the hospital yet and save your sanity? Bea: Ha not yet Bea: She wishes Bea: Medical clout not getting her those kind of perks Buster: Old wives tales it is then Buster: Good fucking luck Bea: Tell me about it Bea: Ali reckons she can take some time off when it's here so she can take over Buster: That's something Buster: Dad will be buzzing if you come back Bea: It's not like I've not being seeing him at work Bea: only this last week because she can't be left alone Buster: Yeah but he's been in a right mood at home Bea: I've heard Bea: Indie is Bea: a lot Buster: True, but we all know why Bea: I know, I'm not blaming the kid Bea: not something you want to come home to after a hard day though Buster: Same, dad, same Bea: Hey, you're signing up for as much Buster: Yeah but I don't have to celebrate the fact, do I? Dad and Ro's relationship is a sight to behold but you make it work Buster: I'm not at that level of annoyed with Indie, like Bea: You do what you must Buster: Loads of her fam are annoying but that's just probability, bound to happen with how many of them there are Bea: Hmm, and here you are, defeating all odds Buster: Obviously Bea: Idiot Buster: Love you too, like Bea: Yeah yeah Buster: See you soon then, yeah? Bea: Of course Buster: Call me if you've pushed Auntie down the stairs or whatever Buster: I'll do my best to help Bea: Cheers Bea: Get the kid out first, like Bea: Not a monster Buster: 'Course not Bea: Love you kid Buster: I know Buster: Take care, mum Bea: You too