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royalsweetteaa · 2 years

Text

Timeless lovin’ - Pt. 2

Pairing: 40s/CATFA!Steve Rogers x present!reader

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

WARNING - The following story contains: explicit smut, oral sex (M receiving), mission plot (sorry), mild dom/sub, sub!Steve Rogers, angst, fluff, developing feelings/slow burn, spoilers, alternative reality.

Ch. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

Summary: Steve left for Peggy in the past, and you were determined to travel back in time and get answers after he left your relationship of 4 years behind him just like that. You get a little ahead of yourself and travel past where your Steve left off, and you meet Steve Rogers, - the man before he hit the ice and was frozen for 70 years.

Y/N’s POV

I didn’t expect to be put in a cell after I told past Steve one of his dearest and most personal memories of his life, - One that he probably had shared with Bucky at one point but was still an exclusive share of memory to you.

I had allowed it as I wasn’t too worried of being trapped. After all, I had my team suit on which I could at any point activate and travel back to my timeline with, but to me that sounded wasteful.

Why not enjoy it for a little while and see where this goes?

Steve had been kind enough not to confiscate my things, something one would normally do if someone was being temporarily locked up for further inspection, but then again this was anything but an ordinary inspection.

Steve had some errands to run, but he promised he would come back as soon as possible to have a further talk with me.

The two hours of waiting got me thinking for myself a little.

For each drastic change I make in this timeline, the more it would become a branch to the main one, - meaning it would become its very own timeline.

— One that my Steve won’t appear in.

It made me nervous to think I had already done that, and that I had failed my mission due to my outburst which I couldn't contain as soon as I laid my eyes on him.

When he returned, he let me out of the cell and we moved to yet another empty office to talk. I told him everything as easily as I could, with the exceptions of mentioning specific events. I told him about how he would one day find himself in the future 70 years from now on, staying as youthful and compassionate as now with the same shield around his arm. I told him of how we came to be, and how he left for the past when he got the opportunity.

He listened intently, still in denial but for each detail I put forward about his personal life, the more he seemed convinced.

“So how do I end up in the future to begin with?” He asked, finally having a question of his own.

“I can’t tell you that. It’ll change the timeline way too drastically, and from then on I will have no idea what the future awaits.” I explained.

He frowned, “That is a bit unfair, don’t you think? You tell me so much of what is to come and now I have no choice but to deal with it? You said it yourself that I return anyway. What difference will it make?”

It shouldn’t have gotten to me, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t blame him for sounding so inattentive as he didn’t know me. With the same voice talking so carelessly of wanting to know the one thing that by ‘back to the future’ time logic would erase our relationship’s existence made me feel sad.

“Listen, I’ll explain time traveling when I am able to explain it. Right now I only want to know a few things from you first.”

Just then, a soldier entered the room, seemingly out of breath as he must have run all the way here from somewhere far.

“Captain, I've been looking all over for you! We need to leave for Delaware right away! We have caught two HYDRA ships on their way to the coast of the state." The soldier reported.

Steve immediately stood up from his seat and checked out the coordinates which the soldier was holding. "Do we know what they are up to?"

"No, Captain. Our only suspicion is that they are trying to listen in on our radio stations to get input about our next missions, sir. "

"Understood. I will be with you right away." Steve replied firmly and sent the soldier out. He turned to look at me again and sighed, "I uh...I don't mean to leave again so abruptly but I have to go. You understand, right?"

"Of course, you need to go." I said and stood up from my seat too. " I'll come with you and help with the mission."

Steve looked baffled, not believing what I had just proposed. "You can't be serious...it's dangerous."

"I am serious, and I will come regardless if you want me to or not." I said with my hands on my hips, showing determination. "We have unresolved business, remember?"

He reluctantly nodded, "Fine, but I expect you to follow through instructions accordingly if you want to take part in the operation."

I snickered at how he was trying to order me around, but I could tell he was a little imitated by me. "Of course, whatever you say, Captain."

I didn't miss the way he blushed when I called him that. I knew for certain he enjoyed people calling him by that title, but with me it used to be way beyond formal use.

"Wonderful...um.." Steve responded nervously and walked past you to the door. "I suppose I'll see you by the gate then...need to get myself ready before we leave."

I hummed with understanding and smiled, "See you there."

We found ourselves an hour later in a locomotive on our way to Delaware. After Steve had talked to his fellow soldiers about the mission, he went back to his private suite where I had hidden myself. Steve had been up and going for the past 20 hours, and needed to rest. He stared at me, who was trying to get some rest myself on the seat at the other end after I had hardly slept the night prior to travelling in time.

“Do you have any kind of training for this kind of mission?” Steve asked out of concern.

“Steve, I am a retired agent from the 21st century. I have training and weapons so technologically advanced a million Apollo 11 space shuttles can't remotely compete.”

“Space shuttles?…” I heard Steve mutter confused under his breath and I had to hold a snort.

I picked up the safe case I had been hiding at a spot since I entered the base, and Steve was immediately fixated with the logo.

“Stark industries….as in, - Howard Stark?”

I groaned. Fuck, why didn't I use a different case? I had to admit I found Steve's reactions endearing though. I could guess this was how he was when he entered present time; so curious and mesmerized but confused due to how foreign it was. I could also imagine how it was a lot harder for him taking part of that world than it was to learn bits of it.

“His son, actually. But the company started with Howard of course.” I answered.

He stood up from the couch to look at the safe's containments. He seemed less impressed when he saw them, so I decided to pick up the one of which was a machine gun and called for an activation. Steve's eyes widened when he witnessed the cube expanding into its final form.

“Woah…this is beyond any HYDRA machinery I've seen, and they are considered ahead of us when it comes to technology. Howard's son must be a highly respected man to have created these.” Oh, if only you knew. “That must mean we win the war, right? You know, - all things considered.”

“Maybe, - or maybe I come from a future in which the last beacon of a United States of America ever existing is you.” I said jokingly, but he didn’t know that. “You don’t want to get too ahead of yourself. I’ve told you enough as it is.”

Steve slowly nodded. “Okay, I see your point. You did mention how everything we did differently could change my timeline but not yours, - which still doesn’t make sense in my book but I digress.”

I sighed, “It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either, but it is what it is…even if I talk to you and convince you to not leave in the future, my Steve won’t be there by the time I travel back. - it’s about how the ‘original timeline’ as we call it can’t be changed, but rather we create branching alternative timelines instead.”

His eyes narrowed as he processed it. “You’re basically a threat to my timeline then if you’re altering things.”

“I’m only a threat if I effect it negatively, - which of course I won’t. I know everything that will happen.” I said.

"Alright, I trust you...." I heard Steve mutter as he laid back on his bunk and closed his eyes to try and sleep.

I waited for Steve's soft snores before I pulled up my tablet and connected Genesis to it so I could quietly read information appearing on the screen. Genesis gave me information of how the battle against the two HYDRA ships by the coast of Delaware would turn out. Of course the information I received was positive, with the Howling Commandos returning with success after defeating HYDRA ships, leaving bombs as a way to obliterate them.

I frowned when I read Steve's health condition report when he returns back to the base camp. Apparently he had gotten several injuries as he had struggled to go in one on one combat with one of the HYDRA soldiers. He would at one point go into the engine room where there is no lighting to settle the bomb, and to his surprise there was a soldier hiding there with HYDRA productional night vision goggles. He was able to swing a hammer on Steve's head before Steve managed to put him down with his shield, but the consequence was a 3-day rest at the infirmary when he returned back.

Two can play that game... I thought, and I opened the safe case again to see if I had anything that could help Steve. To my convenience, I had something similar to the HYDRA technology, but of course I had the upper hand of technological advancement. God bless Tony.

Second person POV

5 hours later, and you arrived at the Delaware air force base where you would late at night be taken by flight and parachute down to the 2 HYDRA ships. As you were walking behind Steve, he led you in with no one batting a suspicious eye.

You eventually agreed with Steve to make yourself apparent to the army as you didn't think sneaking around was practical anymore. Things were about to be more crowded, and while espionage was a part of your previous training, this mission required team work and communication, and you had to be familiar if you were going to obtain that.

When the Howling Commandos assembled in the base tent, Steve brought you to introduce you as a new soldier.

"This is Y/N. She's a friend of mine and will with honor be joining us for this mission." You greeted them with a nod of acknowledgement.

Frowns appeared on people's faces, but they didn't question the new face of the team. Everyone greeted you back respectfully and moved on with their tasks.

At one point, Bucky caught up to Steve to ask about the mysterious woman. "Who is she, pal? You never told me about this new 'girl friend' of yours."

Steve chuckled at Bucky's curiosity and shook his head to dismiss him. "We have a mission, Buck. Let's not talk about irrelevancy."

Bucky sulked in response. "It's rude not to introduce a lady friend of yours, but I suppose there isn't time for any introductions when amidst a war."

For the rest of the evening, preparations were made and equipment were being stored in the planes. You met with Steve again when you were to board the aircraft and leave out of the coast.

"Steve, I want you to use this." You said, and motioned him into grabbing the cube while no one was looking. I took out the extra headpiece and put it in his ear.

He reached out to feel the bud on his ear, and he looked at the cube. "What is this?"

"The thing that I just put on your ear is a communication device, - kind of like a 'walkie talkie', but more practical. That way we can communicate when we aren't together and I'll tell you when to use that." You informed, and pointed at the cube. "Do not go and show it around though. Keep it safe in your pocket and only take it out when I tell you."

"Which would be when exactly?"

"At the right moment." You said and winked at him. "Now let's go."

The soldiers settled down on the aircraft with their parachutes on their backs, ready as one ever could be. You sat beside Steve in the corner as he wanted to shield you as much as possible from the others, but it wasn't easy with you being the only woman in the plane.

When the aircraft took off and flew steadily in the air, Steve cleared his throat to hand out the instructions one last time.

"Listen up, soldiers. Based on our observations, there are about four life boats on each ship. We will use those to our advantage if we don't want to wait that long in the cold water for the Delaware coastguards. We will handle the HYDRA soldiers who dare to come in the way of our mission and let the bombs do the rest of the job. Clean wipeout." Steve spoke sternly to the men.

"Captain, we will be flying past the ships any moment." The pilot reported behind him, and Steve nodded.

"Remember to follow your assigned groups, everyone. Group one, get ready to jump towards the first ship."

The slide door of the aircraft was opened and Steve jumped out first with the other soldiers jumping after him one by one, including you.

Having the wind blast in your face as you fell at high speed was somehow energizing as you hadn't parachuted in such a long time. You missed the days of working for S.H.I.E.L.D where you were able to experience this kind of thrill everyday. You were trying your best to follow Steve in the air, but another idea popped in your head and you decided to go against Steve's agreement.

Steve's eyes widened when he looked after you and noticed you were parting your ways with him and aiming at landing with the other group to the second ship.

"Y/N, what are you doing?! You were supposed to be with our group!" Steve hiss-whispered as he tried to figure out if the ear piece was even working like you said it would.

"It's okay, I want to be useful and help the other guys out." You spoke from the other line and landed on the deck just then, which made Steve's shoulders sink with disappointment. "Looks like we've got company already." You lastly reported before you had HYDRA soldiers approaching you and at the other men on the deck. You didn't back away once as you ran towards them and dodged their attacks before you gave some of your own.

Disturbance came from the other line as well as you heard Steve grunting, most likely fighting off his fair share of HYDRA soldiers. A few minutes of pure chaos, and you were already getting ahead.

"Bucky, go with Dougan to the communication room and contact the coast guards by sending a signal. To the rest of you, - prepare the life boats." Steve ordered as he took out the huge explosive out of his backpack. "I'll take the bomb to the engine room."

From there, Steve ran his path of trying to find the engine room with the package containing the bomb, - a perfect farewell gift to the HYDRA crew. Steve already had an idea of where the engine room was. He was greeted by a few soldiers in the hallways, but he easily passed through as he ran straight ahead with his shield in front, knocking down anyone who stood in his way.

Finally he arrived at his awaiting destination, but what he didn't expect was to be met with pitch black in front of him as he busted the door open.

"Steve, are you by the engine room now?"

"Yeah..." Steve replied vaguely as he studied the room with squinted eyes, trying to make out of the space. "It's completely dark...I'll have to take my time if I want to place the bomb at the right spot."

"Okay, listen carefully. Take out the cube and I'll call out for an activation. It'll be of good use right now."

Steve took the cube out of his pocket and held it up while he waited expectedly for something to happen. A moment later, the cube deformed and expanded into an object. They looked like glasses, so he could already assume it was for his eyes. He placed them on his face, which caused everything he saw through them to light up.

"Oh, now I know what this is for...fascinating." Steve muttered as he adjusted the goggles to his liking. He could see the engine room in full view, so much clearer than his strengthened eye vision.

"Focus, Steve. Someone is in your vicinity."

"I think I'm in the clear. I can't see anyone -!"

Just then, you could hear the sound of struggle from Steve's end as he was interrupted. He had been tackled from behind but was fighting back, and he managed to flip the man over his tall body to the ground. The HYDRA soldier was quick on his feat as he tried to hurt Steve with a hammer he had around his belt. Steve caught onto his movements and dodged him before he pulled his counter attacks. He knocked the night vision goggles off the man's face and used his shield for a final knockdown on the HYDRA soldier, ultimately putting the man to a final sleep.

"You weren't kidding!" Steve exclaimed, his adrenaline rush higher than before due to the unexpected pounce.

"Never said I was!" You replied through the mic.

Steve placed the bomb by the ship's weak point and fastened the door back to make it impossible to enter in. He made his way back with no hesitation, and once he returned up at the deck, he gathered around his teammates to start the phase of retrieval.

"We need to evacuate the ship! The bomb is activated and we have approximately 4 minutes before it goes off." Steve told his comrades, and they quickly occupied the life boats to sail away.

Gunshots from both sides were firing off as the remaining HYDRA soldiers tried to stop the Howling Commandos from leaving, but they were failing as Steve blocked the aiming bullets with his shield, putting his fellow soldiers behind him for safety.

"Y/N, did Gabe manage to put the bomb in the engine room? Are you evacuating?" Steve asked for a report of your situation while the others were occupied at shooting back.

"Yes, we have placed it and are now trying to evacuate but..." you paused from speaking for a moment, "I think we will have to step out of our comfort zone and dive for a swim because the life boats are damaged. HYDRA has sabotaged our get-away. They must have figured us out."

Steve cursed under his breath. "You need to jump in the water, Y/N. The coast guards are on their way in accordance to our mission schedule. Swim away with the rest of the soldiers as far as you can and we will get to you. We have room."

"Alright..I suppose I have no choice anyway." You meekly replied. Steve heard you giving the orders to the rest in the background.

A minute after and the first ship exploded. Steve's group were a great distance away from being in danger, but his mind couldn't stop thinking of yours and the other comrade's situation. He hoped they were swimming at least 30 feet away from the ship that was about to explode any moment now.

Just then, the other bomb took off, obliterating the second HYDRA ship and ultimately sealing the fate of it sinking too. By then, the coast guards were coming into Steve's view, but Steve still ordered his group to sail towards the area of the second ship to help out their people.

The coast guards beat them to it, and rescued those swimming in the water first before they pulled up those in the life boats. When Steve was on board, he immediately sprinted over to the group that was currently being offered blankets, their bodies visibly shivering. He was relieved when he counted the people and found everyone was there, with not a single person missing. His eyes met yours, and he walked over to you to see how you were doing.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked with worry as he helped you wrap a second blanket around your form.

You let out a breathless laugh, "Yeah, I'm freezing my tits off but I haven't felt this alive for so long to be honest. What about you?" You asked, and scanned his face for any injuries. Luckily there were none, meaning you had yet again changed a minor part of history.

"I'm feeling just fine....you were amazing, Y/N...you helped me so much and I didn't realize it before it happened." He said, mesmerized. "I believe you."

You made a puzzled look at his last sentence. "You didn't before?"

"Well, yes but...this definitely took out the last bit of doubt in me."

You nodded understandingly and looked at your surroundings. People were patting each others backs as they shared praise of successfully executing the mission. Everyone seemed so happy, which was refreshing from the cold and serious attitude that used to be emitted in 21st century S.H.I.E.L.D. You could get used to being praised for doing something right instead of receiving a simple nod of acknowledgement.

"What do we do now?" You asked, as you turned to Steve who seemed to have looked at you this whole time of you zoning out.

Steve smiled cheekily and simply replied with, "We celebrate of course."

When returning to shore, you were greeted by the rest of the army and the smell of good food. The atmosphere after accomplishing a mission was lively. Everyone gathered around in the base camp and full meals were being served with beer, - every American soldier's favorite.

When morning came, you all went to sleep at your designated rooms, a welcoming stay to rest by Delaware Air Force. You had expected to be occupied with thoughts, but the planning and mission itself tired you out so much you were out as soon as you laid down on the bed.

When you woke up again, it was afternoon, and people were still taking the time to celebrate last night's mission. It caught you off guard once again how different things seemed to be compared to your time. Soldiers were actually being rewarded after doing missions that puts their lives on the line, and it made you bite your lip with envy of how you didn't get as much as a candy bar for being an agent.

You found Steve at the bar of the base, tuning in for music and the performance shown on the stage of a dancing pair. Steve asked once again about your well being when you approached him, to which you replied positively. You drank a glass of beer before engaging in conversations with some of the other men. You grew unimpressed as you learned their highly flirtatious intentions of keeping a conversation with you, and you excused yourself to find Steve.

He was nowhere to be found in the crowd though, which made you wonder where he could have gone off to. As you walked out of the bar, you realized that just like that, another day had passed.

Steve could tell someone was behind him no matter how quietly they opened his door, and he quickly snapped his head back to see who it was. He let out a breath he had held as he realized it was none other than you.

"Ending the night so soon, huh?" You asked, leaning against the door post as you looked at Steve who was sitting by the tiny desk across his bed.

Steve snorted as he looked down at his feet. "Pretty much...I'm not much of a bar guy anyway, so I don't stay for long."

"Is it because you can't get drunk or are you generally introverted?"

"Shouldn't you know the answer to that?" Steve replied humorously with a smile curling on his lips.

You shrugged and walked over to him while closing the door behind you. You grew thoughtful at his question, "My Steve liked being social. He could talk for hours with so many new faces, and we would basically stay at events till we were the only ones left."

Steve exhaled to that. "Sounds exhausting...I only need my friends to have a good time, and even then I need some time for myself, doing what I like to do."

You smiled at him fondly and saw what he had been occupying himself with. He was drawing.

He drew an airplane, and it looked like he was sketching a second one beneath based on its form.

"You're very talented....you really capture the details. Unfortunately my Steve never drew, - not to my knowledge anyway."

Steve's face saddened, almost as if he couldn't believe it. "Seriously? That's...- I always thought and still think I'll keep drawing till I'm laying on my death bed. Art is my second passion after being in service..."

"I see.." You muttered, also surprised to learn this. Steve had expressed fascination over art to you once when you went to an art museum together, but he hadn't admitted he had actively practiced art. "Then maybe take what I've told you into heart and hopefully you will do different and keep art close to you."

Steve nodded appreciatively and looked at his sketch again. "I can't help but wonder how I look like in the future...because surely I look different. Do you perhaps have any pictures on you?"

You tried to hold back a cheeky smile, but Steve had caught you. "You do, don't you?" He asked with excitement. "Show me." He said as he stood up and reached for the pocket of your jacket.

"Woah, hold on!" You playfully slapped his hand away. "I don't have anything on me, as in a polaroid picture or any of that sort but...I may have a few on my personal tablet."

"So what I'm hearing is you'll show me."

A giggle irrupted from you as you couldn't help but find Steve's sudden boldness funny. "Sure, why not. But only pictures of which you can't tell the context of."

Steve brought another chair for you to sit on as you placed the tablet onto the desk once Steve had put his sketches away. The tablet turned on and you typed your password before you entered your folders.

“You sure you want to see them? Curiosity killed the cat, you know.” You joked, and he actually laughed at the old saying.

Classic him.

“Yes. I want to see it all.” He said, and scooted closer, his eyes slightly squinting as he was for the first time adjusting to the artificial hologram screen.

You nodded, before you clicked on the file, where the first picture that was revealed was your most recent picture, being of your neighbors cat.

“It’s colored!…and so detailed...” He almost shouted in a whisper. “But that should be the least thing to surprise me, huh?” He chuckled as he glanced at you.

You laughed and shrugged, “These pictures are taken 75 years forward in the future. I don’t blame you at all for being overly excited.”

You went a little further up the file to show him the earliest pictures, those of which you took of him when you got to know each other through his office visits. Steve was amazed, pointing out every single change the future had made of him, - from his less use of hair gel to his new stealth suit, to the people he was surrounded with and the environment.

Then there were the ones you took during your relationship. You weren’t sure if you wanted to show those, but it was hard to ignore them with how many there were.

Steve’s eyes hadn’t blinked once since you opened the picture file, so you already knew his eyes had caught plenty of them before you even realized.

You bit the inside of your cheek, regretting that you hadn’t put them in a separate file. Then again, you hadn’t been through these for so long. It wasn’t in your mind, nor didn’t you have the heart to make them unseeable.

Steve’s mouth closed as you skipped through the romantic pictures of you as a couple. You could feel his eyes on you now, and it made you internally cringe. Nevermind, I heavily regret not moving them to another file, you thought.

You cleared your throat and skipped through faster, feeling an emotional wave on its way and you didn’t want to be hit by it. “Yeah, I think we should put the slideshow to an end now…” you said as you closed and shut off the system.

Steve face saddened, “but I didn’t get a good look on those last ones…”

“I didn’t intend to show them anyway.”

He could tell you were upset. He now understood why whenever you made eye contact, he could see your distaste, even from your smile, - And it was justified. He understood why you screamed at him the first day you met, and why you sometimes seem so conflicted of being nice to him.

You stood up from your seat, but Steve wasn’t going to let you leave that easily. He took your hand, “Y/N, hold on…” he said.

You turned, your eyes already glistening, but you kept a tight face as you glanced back at him.

“I’m sorry, doll. I’m so sorry for what he, - for what I did, - or for what I will do…I don’t even know how I’m supposed to be apologizing, but my point is - I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve this at all. You shouldn’t have had to come back, nonetheless travel through time because of my future self’s stupidity.” He said, his eyes looking deep into yours and with his face expressing guilt. He opened his arms, and gently placed them around you.

The familiar nickname had made you stiffen. You haven't heard him call you that for so long. While it made you feel uneasy, his apology gave you some peace as you relaxed into his arms. The feeling of being held in his embrace felt euphoric.

It didn’t last long as you decided you didn’t want to be in his embrace anymore. You glared at him, “You would have done the same.”

“No, I would not!” He shouted, offended by your accusation. He took a step back when he noticed your eyes had widened from his sudden outburst. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell…”

“How can you be so sure? You love Peggy. I’m talking to the person who my ex fiancé apparently missed being and left to be that person again.”

“Well then he was obviously blinded to not notice what was right in front of him.” Steve argued. “I don’t really know what love is, Y/N. I am familiar with friendly love but I am still trying to figure out the kind of love my parents shared. It’s not something I want to drag you into, but I mean it when I say I wouldn’t do that. I respect women, nonetheless the person I would give a ring to.” He said.

You sighed, deciding to give it a rest. You smiled to assure him you had found peace in this argument. He smiled back in content.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He asked, confused.

“Yeah, Steve. I believe in you. Maybe you would have handled it different. Maybe my Steve valued our relationship less because, - I don’t know, - the future and his experiences left a void in him that he thought he could get rid of by returning to the past. Or something.” You hypothesized.

Steve stared at the floor, not sure if he had any input on that. He didn’t know what to make of it either.

You looked up at him again, your eyes fluttering when you studied his face. He was definitely different. So well mannered and considerate. Like not too many things were on his mind, so he could think more of the people closest to him.

“You know, I kind of prefer you with this hairstyle and look. It’s cute. The future really did corrupt you.” You smirked, and reached out to stroke his neatly styled hair.

He let out a breathless laugh as he blushed. “Really? You think so?”

“Yeah…”

Your eyes looked into each other, not blinking once. Your hand palmed his cheek, stroking it gently as he put his hand to keep yours where it once. You saw his eyes wander down to your lips, and you knew at that moment you were both in to something.

You stood on your heels and captured his lips with your own, and he slowly wrapped his hands around your waist, not wanting to let you go. The kissing was gentle at first, until you decided to bite his bottom lip, causing him to open his eyes out of shock. He did not expect you to do that.

Still he didn’t push himself away and let you have your way with him. He was about to gasp for air as you for a split second separated your lips, but you took the opportunity while his mouth was open to quickly seep your tongue in. He moaned in surprise, feeling himself becoming overwhelmed by your techniques but also so turned on.

You led him to collapse on the bed which was behind him, your body on top of his as you didn’t let your lips apart.

After a brief moment of sharing each other’s taste through a dance of your tongues, you pulled yourself back to breathe, only to be amused that Steve was breathing for air more than you.

“Already tapped out? Thought the super soldier could handle long make out sessions, considering your expanded lung capacity…”

“I-I can, m’just really overwhelmed right now…” he excused, to which you giggled. You continued giving him kisses down his neckline, enjoying the sound of his heavy gasps. It was then when you altered your focus of touching his gorgeous body.

“Y/N…” He moaned your name in a whisper.

“Steve…” you whispered his name back as your hand traveled further down his body, down his abs and V-line. You memorized every muscle of his body, and it felt so good to touch him again.

He gulped nervously as he eyed where your hand was wandering, “I-I…uh…”

“Don’t be shy, baby…you don’t have to worry about a thing. We’ve had sex plenty of times, - or we will I guess.” You corrected humorously.

Steve gasped as you palmed his crotch, teasing his cock as you squeezed him a little though his pants. “W-We did? - we will?”

“Mhm.” You hummed positively. “Our first time together was in my office…we hadn’t seen each other for years and you suddenly showed up and bent me over my office desk where you would eat me out from behind before fucking me…” you told him.

“Oh goodness…” Steve mumbled through a groan. His eyes fluttered while you unbuckled his belt and opened the zipper to release him.

His cock sprung free, pulsing and twitching in need. Precum was already building up at the tip, making you bite your lip at how desperate you had made him. Seeing him quiver beneath you was awakening something within you. This point of his past was way before he explored his sexuality, - way before he grew into the overly confident daddy who would fuck you into the mattress and call you his good girl.

Somehow, it was appealing that this Steve was anything but that. To have him beneath you like this, getting riled up by simple touches, - it was so fucking hot and the biggest confidence booster.

“When I look back at it now, it wasn’t as romantic as I used to think…—” you muttered as you nibbled his earlobe and stroked him. He moaned, bucking his hips desperately while you pleasured him.

“… — Maybe we could change that. Remake our first.” You whispered, making him shiver. “Only if you want to of course..”

He let out a breathless grunt, his eyes going to the back of his head. You gave him a tentative kiss on his cheek, but his other hand that wasn’t gripping the sheets pulled your face for a kiss on your lips. Your lips met over and over again with Steve letting out huffs in between. He groaned while gritting his jaw, his head being shot back on the pillow.

“Do you want this?”

Do you want me?

“Y-Yes…I - ffffuu..” he almost groaned the curse word but didn’t complete it.

“Language, Steve.” You teased.

“Doesn’t count..” he whined.

Your strokes were less patient now, your hands gliding along his length faster to see him unravel. You wanted to see it. You wanted to see the face of a man who was becoming ruined for you. You wanted to witness his eyebrows knit with pleasure as he let out those sweet moans you didn’t know could come out of him. Your Steve had never revealed himself to you like this; so vulnerable and full of desire for you.

You figured the best way to really witness him fall apart was to have your plump lips suck the soul out of him. And that you did.

He cried out and gripped your hair down harshly as he released his cum, his load being swallowed willingly by you. You missed his taste so much.

A vibration was sent through him as you hummed around him, his cock twitching with his last spend before you slowly backed up again with a ‘pop’ sound. His breathing was uneven, and he put his palm against his forehead to wipe off the sweat that had built there. Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off of you while his cock softened, his cheeks flushed with the colour red.

You only gave him a timid smile when your eyes met again, and you stood up from the bed, leaving Steve to frown with his overstimulated gaze.

“Y/N, wait…” he called after you, but you got ahead of him with something to add.

“I’m sorry. This was obviously a mistake. I shouldn’t have done that…” you said, your voice full with regret. “Goodnight, Steve.”

Steve was about to protest, but couldn’t as you left his bedroom, closing the door behind you.

N/A: Ended it with a lil' angst but we all know it will resolve, some way or another. ;) Hope the smut was enjoyable tho!

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #cevans characters #chris evans #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans x reader #captain america x you #captain america x reader

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astupidsuccessionsideblog · 2 years

Text

Firefly

Roman/Reader

WC: 3,776

"Hey, remember that time Roman got kidnapped? And then it was like never mentioned again? Well, what if they were actually gonna try and kill him to send a message? And the reader, his assistant and childhood friend, was there, determined to never let that happen?"

Angst, h/c, kidnapping, general succession swearing and shit.

AO3 Link

You jerk awake, disoriented and unable to open your eyes. You can feel your hand searching for your phone that, oh yeah, is ringing. You finally find it, shockingly, plugged in on your bedside table. Who would’ve guessed? The brightness of the screen and the terrible contact photo of Rome you took a few months back jolt your brain back to a state of semi-awareness. You can’t help but grin. He was yelling at Kendall and didn’t know you were taking it, so his face is scrunched up in a drastic change from the usual put-together vibe he tries to portray. It never fails to make you laugh. He hates it, of course, but you refuse to change it, no amount of bribery will sway you. You suppose you should probably answer it, despite the absolutely ungodly hour.

“What?” you groan at him, shoving your face back into your pillow.

“Well good morning to you too, sunshine,” he says, entirely too cheery for, what? Four am?

“This is not morning, Roman, this is torture. This better be good,” you mumble, face still safe from the cold air of your bedroom.

“Oh, you bet your ass it is! So you know how you’ve always wanted to go to Turkey?” Your eyebrows furrow and you let out an exasperated sigh.

“Oh absolutely, every day of my life it’s just ‘Romey, Romey, please take me to Turkey, I don’t think I’ll survive if you don’t take me to Turkey!’” You say, putting it on.

“Fuck off. Anyway! Your dreams are finally coming true. We’re going to Turkey! Today. In like. An hour. A car will be at your door to pick you up, see you soon!” He says, speeding up towards the end and hanging up before you can get another word in.

“Goddamnit,” you say, to nobody but yourself.

You shouldn’t be surprised, ever since Roman got you this job he’s been yanking your ass all over the globe. For the life of you, you don’t know why his assistant would need to go to family holidays and meetings and every other minor event he drags you to, but you still go. There’s not a lot you wouldn’t do if he asked. One flash of those puppy dog eyes and you’re done for. You know it, but you don’t like facing it very often. It makes you vulnerable and if there’s one thing you don’t want to be while living in this world, it’s that. But he’s the one who helped you work your way up from the daughter of a maid to the assistant of the son of one of the richest men alive, which is a pretty stark difference. God knows where you’d be right now if you hadn’t befriended that scared little boy. He could’ve just hidden your friendship growing up and listened to everyone telling him that you had no right even spending time with someone with the social standing of a Roy kid. But he didn’t. He dragged you around to every event then, and he does now. You know, in your bones, that there isn’t a single thing you wouldn’t do for that shitshow of a man. So Turkey it is. On four hours of sleep. God, you need caffeine.

The car takes you and your single bag of luggage to Logan’s private wing of the airport. Which is something he has. Because of course he does. You’ve stopped questioning any of it at this point. You had zoned out most of the drive, idly hoping you had packed enough underwear. You jostle slightly when your door opens, pulling you out of your mind. Giving the driver a polite nod, you start making your way to the group of people huddled next to one of the Roy jets. Despite yourself, you can feel a smile start to grow when you see Roman notice you and start waving with the vigor of a small child.

“Sunshine! You made it!” He yells, jumping up and down, finally making his way over to dramatically kiss you on both cheeks. You bite the inside of one in an attempt to calm the blush you can feel starting to creep over them, luckily the dim light of dawn still provides you with ample cover. You make a show out of rolling your eyes at the nickname and display of affection, but keep smiling to make sure he knows you’re not serious. The light in his eyes is still as bright as ever, so it’s safe to say you succeeded. You haven’t been able to drop that nickname, no matter how much higher up in the ranks you are now. You’re not that little girl, full of light anymore. If anything, the contrast between your cynicism and the nickname is perfect.

“Where else would I be?” you ask, unable to fight the yawn that works its way out. “Oh right, sleeping. I remember sleeping. That was nice. Those were the days.” you say, full of nostalgia for an hour and a half ago. Now Roman rolls his eyes.

“Come on, it’s gonna be great! You’re gonna see, uh, the ocean, and some buildings! You’ll love it!” He says as he puts his hand on the small of your back to lead you up the stairs into the jet. Karl and Laird shoot each other a look as they follow behind, but you don’t pay it any mind. They should be used to how you and Roman are by now. They know your story and they know how attached Roman is to you. Being the center of attention in a room full of Roys is something you are not a stranger to and haven’t been for a few decades at this point. It was worse at first when you were really young, but even then Roman told you they were just being stuffy and old and that they weren’t any better than you, no matter how hard they believed it. You’ve done your best to keep that attitude now, that you belong, and it’s done nothing but help you so far. Maybe one day you’ll actually believe it.

After you sit down and get settled in, pulling some dumb book about Roman Mythology out of your bag to pretend to read, Roman throws himself down on the couch, shoving his head on your lap.

“Why read that when you’ve got the real thing right here?” He asks, shooting you a toothy grin. You sigh and put the book down onto his face.

“I don’t know, maybe because this one,” you softly smush the book down, “doesn’t wake me up in the middle of the night and whisk me away to the other side of the globe. And it has volume control,” you throw in, you couldn’t help it. You hear him gasp, affronted.

“That one also,” he bats at it like a damn kitten, finally succeeding in removing it, “doesn’t have near half the charm or wealth or status as the real one,” he throws in some jazz hands for good measure.

“Charm I’ll give you, but if you’re inferring that you’ve got more money and status than the entire Roman empire, then I think I should probably let you read it on the flight, might be enlightening,”

The two of you bicker on and off for the first few hours and then get talking about why the trip to Hungary is happening in the first place. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t zone out through half of it, something about sports and money and whatever, it all starts to blend together when you’ve been dealing with the Roys for half as long as you have.

Eventually, you noticed that it had been a few minutes (or many minutes) since Roman had said anything. You look down and realize that he had fallen asleep, head still planted firmly on your lap. As quietly as you can, you grab a jacket from the top of your luggage and bundle it up to rest your head on. Before you close your eyes, you can’t help yourself from softly running your fingers through his hair. He subconsciously leans into it and lets out the smallest noise, practically a whimper. Your heart surges. You know you can’t stop now, so you doze off, hand still buried in his waves, a small smile stuck on your face.

After what feels like a lifetime, you finally land and are immediately ushered into cars to meet up with who you think you remember to be Eduard. You and Rome in one car and Karl and Laird in another. You can tell Roman is nervous, he’s in constant movement, his foot is tapping, he’s making this weird clicking noise with his mouth. In both empathy and annoyance, you grab his hand and give it a squeeze.

“You’ll do great,” you say, giving him what you hope is a genuine smile. He squeezes your hand back and the corner of his mouth raises ever so slightly.

The two of you stay like that until the cars come to a stop and you all filter out into what appears to be a hotel for the moment of truth. You really do believe in him. Sure, he’s not as seemingly mature as Shiv or even Kendall, but his heart is somehow in the right place and he’s more talented than he knows. You walk in without a doubt that this will so swimmingly.

You were wrong.

You’ve gotta say, you didn’t foresee the guns. But you know what they say, hindsight’s 20/20.

Your heart is beating out of your fucking chest and you can’t seem to hold down a single thought, it’s all too much, too fuzzy. You didn’t sign up for this. But neither did Roman. You spare him a glance and can see the sheen of sweat on his forehead. His eyes are as big as saucers. You can hear Karl talking somewhere far away, you know he’s sitting right next to you, but you can’t seem to find your way out of your mind.

But it gets worse because of course it does. The men approach all of you and hoist Roman up by his arm. Just like that, you snap back to reality. Nobody touches Roman. Fucking nobody. You tune back into the conversation, realizing unfortunately you don’t know what they’re saying.

“Eduard, what are they saying, what do they want?” you ask

“Sunshine, don’t,” Roman says, looking beyond petrified.

“Shut up,” you mutter at him, eyes still stuck on Eduard. Him and the men go back and forth for a minute, shaking Roman every once in a while and the rage in your core boils even more. Nobody fucking touches him. But you’ve gotta be strategic, somewhere in the back of your head, you know that. You can’t piss them off and get everybody killed. That would be rather counterproductive. You have to stop yourself from audibly snorting at the thought.

“They want to send a message. Who better than the son of an American business tycoon?” he parrots, grimace evident in his voice and on his face.

“Well tell them that’s fucking stupid,” you actively choose not to look at Roman as you say this next part, “If they kill him, Logan will never stop hunting them down. That man has people everywhere. They won’t last the night. He can destabilize continents. One militia is nothing to a man like him. They wouldn’t be sending a message, they’d be sealing their fate,” you hear Roman make a choked noise and make the executive decision to look over. They had gagged him at some point. You hadn’t even noticed. “Now on the other hand, if you take me. If you kill me, I’m not important enough for Logan to destroy them, but Roman will make sure the message gets spread. He will never stop talking about my death, your legacy will live on through him. Tell them that,” Roman is practically screaming, despite the gag. You glare daggers at Eduard. You don’t think you’ve ever been more serious in your entire life. He relays the message. They seem to be actually considering it and you can feel a physical weight removed from your chest as they throw Roman back onto the couch and stalk towards you. You grin as they grab your arm, your turn to be hoisted up and gagged. Eduard says something to them, they reply, and he removes Roman’s gag.

“No. No no no no,” he’s in the midst of a full blown panic attack, you can tell. He’s shaking, his hair’s a mess and his pupils are fully blown out. You try and shoot him a reassuring look, but don’t know how successful you are, given the current circumstances. “Karl, Laird, Eduard, fucking do something, please. Please, please,” you look to the three of them and shake your head. They’ve gotta know you’re right. Roman’s gotta know you’re right.

They corral the five of you into a room off to the side. It’s fully set up, two chairs on one end, a camera on the other. They order Karl, Laird, and Roman to their knees at the door and tie you and Eduard to the chairs, rope pulling tight on your wrists. You can feel your skin break. Roman is still muttering to himself and anyone that will listen, begging them, begging you, begging anyone to stop this.

But you’re oddly at ease. This is the way it should be. Roman has taken care of you you’re entire life. And you don’t want to live in a world without him. There’s no lying to yourself anymore, what would be the point anyway? You’re about to die. You love him. You’ve always known that you are madly, truly, and incomprehenisbly in love with Roman Roy. You breathe out a sigh of relief. That’s a weight off of your chest too.

You’re vaguely aware of the gun to your temple, the red blinking light on the camera, and Eduard again parrotting what the men are saying. You look over at Roman. He’s got a gun to his temple too and you frown. That’s not right. Then you notice Laird holding him back, as he tries to throw himself towards you, tears streaming down his face. As long as Laird holds on, he’ll be safe. That puts your mind back at ease. But you can’t look away from him. You’ve never seen him like this before, not even when he was a child and he’d come back from Logan’s room with a black eye, begging to borrow your makeup to cover it. Not when he was in his 20’s and had showed up, knocking at your door, drenched to the bone because his girlfriend had called him a freak and kicked him out in the middle of a torrential downpour. Never. You cock your head to the side and ponder over what it means. It’s not like it matters anyway, the two of you will never have a chance now. You hear the men’s voices getting louder and decide it’s time to close your eyes. You shoot Roman one last wink and you’re enveloped by darkness.

It’s dark. Everything is dark. You think to yourself that this must be what the afterlife is like. Endless darkness. A heavy emptiness gnawing away at what’s left of your soul.

But then there’s light. A small, tiny light. Not much bigger than a firefly. But it’s warm. A warm pressure surrounding your hand, it’s not overwhelming. It’s comforting. If this is what the afterlife is like, you could get behind it. It’s better than a cold, unforgiving void. A deep feeling of right settles in your gut. You smile. And darkness envelops you once more.

You’re back. Back in the darkness. But this time, the light is brighter. And it’s… talking to you? It’s far away and jumbled. You can only make out a few words.

“love”

“sorry”

“reckless”

“stupid”

“lost”

You’re more confused than ever. Are you a ghost? And just like, really bad at being a ghost? You try and tune out the voice and just focus on the warmth instead. It’s nice. It feels like home. You fade off again.

You come back, used to the routine at this point. Opening your metaphorical eyes once more, because, oh yeah, you think, looking down. You don’t have a body. That’s fun. You’re expecting darkness, but you’re met with a blinding light. So bright it hurts. It doesn’t burn, it’s that same, comforting warmth. But the brightness is overbearing. You try and cry out to no avail. The light gets so bright that you’re worried for a second it’ll be your new forever. But no sooner than you can contemplate your new world, your entire being jolts, it feels like your atoms are being rearragnged, one by one.

And you open your eyes.

Coming back to your physical form is strange. Your head aches and there’s this incessant beeping. Your vision finally comes back and you’re able to regain your bearings. You’re in… a hospital? That doesn’t make sense. Your arm shoots up to feel your head, and somehow it’s in one piece. You hear a snore and your head snaps to the right.

It’s him. It’s Roman. You’re filled with that warmth again. That undying sense of right. Of home. You smile and can’t help but fall back asleep.

It’s not dark this time.

When you come to this time, you can feel what you only imagine is Roman’s hand in yours. You give it a squeeze, eyes still closed. You can hear and feel him shoot up in his seat, metal chair scraping the floor.

“Sunshine?” his voice is filled to the brim with an emotion you can’t identify. Hope? Joy? You give his hand another squeeze.

“You got it, sugar tits. It’s me,” Your voice is rough and it hurts to talk, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You look over and he snorts, eyes filled with unshed tears. “What’s all the fuss about? I’m right here.” That’s all it takes, tears stream down his face. You can’t help but reach up and cradle his face in your hand, thumbing away the droplets. He closes his eyes and lets out a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

“I cannot fucking believe you. I almost lost you. What the fuck would I have done then, huh? How am I supposed to live in this shitshow of a world without you?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Love, I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings or anything, but do you mind catching me up on why I’m, you know, still alive?” you ask. Roman’s face flashes with pain, but nevertheless, he catches you up. By some miracle, the Turkish police force stormed the building seconds before you almost met your end. The men pistol whipped the shit out of you and left you lying in a puddle of your own blood before you were rushed to the hospital. When Rome tells you it’s been a week, you think he’s fucking with you at first.

But then you look at him, really look at him. And he looks terrible. The dark circles under his eyes are so intense he practically looks like a skeleton, this five o’clock shadow has sprouted into a shaggy, untamed beard, and his cheeks are laced with more tear tracks than you can count. Somehow, when you were focusing on his appearance, it turned into the yelling at you show.

“I cannot fucking believe you did that to me, what got into you? Why do you think you can do that? You cannot put yourself in that position for me. For me? Jesus, I need these people to run a goddamn psych eval on you, sacrificing yourself for me of all people,” he’s rambling. You know he’s rambling and he knows he’s rambling.

“Roman?” you interrupt him, his eyes finally meet yours, “Shut the fuck up. You are worth so much more than you think, you are so much more important than you think, and you are so much more loved than you think. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I would give my life for yours, hell, I would do it again if given the opportunity” he tries to cut in, but you don’t let him. “If I died, your world would keep turning. But if you died? And I didn’t do anything to stop it? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. You are everything to me and you always have been,” you choke up, but keep pushing, because fuck it, “Roman fucking Roy, I love you, you asshole. And I’m never going to let anything happen to you.” He’s crying again. You assume he’s done more crying this week than he has in his entire life. He breaks eye contact and looks down.

“Sunshine. You do not know what this past week has been like for me. It has been hell. It has been worse than hell. I put you in this position. I dragged you to Hungary. I didn’t need you there, I wanted you there. You make my life fun, you are my light. And if I lost my light because I got selfish? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself,” his voice breaks and you give his hand a squeeze. “You deserve so much more than me, so much more than this whirlwind of an unstable life. I can never give you the peace you deserve.”

“Roman, you are my peace. Whether you like it or not. You always have been. It might look different for me than most of the people on this godforsken planet, but you are my peace. And you are my light. You are my home. I fucking love you,” you say, conviction coloring your voice. And he lets out an honest to god sob. You grab his head and pull it into your chest, it’s clumsy and haphazard, but the second his arms engulf your body, you know there is no greater happiness than having him in your arms. You can feel him sobbing into your body, so you grab his face with your hands and pull it up, gingerly placing his forehead on yours.

“I love you too,” he chokes out. You don’t know if he leans in or if you do, but his lips crash into yours. You don’t know who’s tears are who’s but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but this moment.

He’s safe.

Your boy is safe.

#roman roy/reader #roman/reader #roman roy x reader #roman x reader #i got kinda weird there at the end but like #i couldn't control it #it just happened bro

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cq-studios · 3 months

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20, 15 and 3 please :3

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

The fandom has helped me appreciate so many characters way more than I did initially but I’ll have to say the most drastic is Kairi. 100% Kairi.

Like when I got into KH I kinda just branded her as bland anime girl love interest with nothing going for her (which is a mindset I’ve been working hard to get out of and I’m confident I’ve made progress in) but the fandom actually helped me see there was more to her than that. And I know in a lot of situations it ends up being the opposite but learning about the evidence for and shipping Soriku (specifically Violet Howler and Tennelle’s videos) actually helped me understand and like her more. Taking her out and away from this ‘fated’ romance with Sora for a bit actually helped me see the traits that I otherwise would have dismissed. Because her not wanting Sora to leave her behind (because she’s in love with him) became her not wanting Sora to leave her behind (because she’s afraid of change, because she’s scared he’s going to drift away like Riku did, because she doesn’t want to become an afterthought) and other stuff that I could probably write more about if I wasn’t half asleep rn lol

I think part of the issue is that I have a sort of negative knee jerk to straight romantics relationships because they’re so often poorly written or I just don’t connect to them because I’m Ace/Aro and I already have a hard time connecting to any romance in general (queer stuff is easier for me to connect to because it’s representation and it feels like a victory when it happens) and that leads me to just sort of write off both characters who are involved as boring to me (for a long time I wasn’t really a huge fan of Sora either, which feels insane to say now lol).

Sora was saved a bit faster just because of his sheer amount of screen time and focus. I hope Kairi will get a chance to shine in a future game, and that opinion is mostly because the fandom helped shine a light on the things I missed that make her a character.

15. the character that always makes you smile

See it’d be cheating to say all of the NULs (like, man, I love those guys so much, but y’all know, you’re here) so I’ll switch it up today and say Xion. I love her so much. And I mean, I think literally in my last post I was gushing about her, but you know sometimes I just have to talk about Xion. I feel like I don’t talk about Xion enough. Like, she always makes me so happy (except when everything goes wrong at the end of Days then she makes me sad, so very sad but in a good way lol).

She and Roxas were my favourites before KHUX came in with the steel chair, and while I still like Roxas, Xion was the one who’s still up there with the NULs despite it all as a comfort character. Love her, wish I had smart things to say about her lol

20. your very first fandom!

Littlest Pet Shop and/or Pokémon. I honestly do not remember… I was like 3 or 4, I think.

I used to watch so many LPS YouTube skits and series and just scroll on Google for hours looking at Pokémon fanart. I avidly collected (and still collect) both things. I probably shouldn’t have been able to just have free rein watching/looking at all that at that age, but my parents didn’t really know how to parent yet (I’m their oldest kid lol).

Probably watched some Elsa-gate level stuff at some point because I remember my mom telling me not to watch any LPS skits that were made by men???

Also y’all remember Pikachu X Ketchup? I think about Pikachu X Ketchup every day…

#man I’m so tired I should go to bed lol #I hope this all made sense I probably ended up rambling… I do that lol #I don’t even think I’m gonna tag this one with any real fandom tags because I talk about Kairi and while I feel I’m being pretty positive #I don’t wanna get hate mail again and I feel like even mentioning any ships will get me immediately taken out lol #anywhoozles thanks for the ask ^^#sometimes I think about the rest of KH

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yjwhatif · 1 year

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What would have happened if the Ambassador hadn’t been there in Markovia when Brion captured Baron Bedlam. Would he still have executed his uncle and usurped his brother’s throne?

Honestly… i don't think he would have - he may have still done something drastic which separates him from the group - but i don't believe he would have gone as far as cold blooded murder without bazovvi and i definitely don't think he would have even considered taking the crown without someone prompting him to… bazovvi manipulates and plays upon a number of elements which all ultimately push brion to act the way he does - like riling up the crowds, bolstering his ego, reenforcing bedlams villainy and need to be stopped… potentially even influencing bedlam to make the decisions he makes. If you get rid of bazovvi and all the things he either psychically or verbally influences you are left with the brion who just discovered his sister has been working for the enemy and his elders/mentors knew without ever telling him about it.

In that moment brion would have been feeling hurt, betrayed, confused - all very valid, though thanks to him being massively self centred in general, his focus tends to remain all on him… it’s about how he was kept in the dark, how he sacrificed everything to rescue Tara and has been betrayed, how he is the victim in all this… meanwhile Tara was victimised and manipulated by years of abuse after being abducted and gar just narrowly avoided being crushed by a rock. Brion doesn't really think beyond himself most of the time - if ever he does, it will often lead back to him serving his own ego in some way… with that in mind, I imagine him demanding explanations but refusing to actually listen to them, then he would start raging out because no one will say what he wants them to say - which is apologise to him specifically and admit they should have indeed told him - which they absolutely shouldn’t have because he would not have handled that information well at all. Then, I can see Dick telling him to chill out which again just infuriates him more and we know how Brion gets when his anger takes over - it may even be bedlam still tries to escape in the commotion but winds up feeling the brunt of his nephews rage… ultimately everything comes to a head when brions actions hurt halo as they try to talk him down - whether that’s emotionally hurt or physically - i dunno, but with it the damage is done and it all ends with him leaving - knowing he wants nothing to do with those who will keep secrets from him…

Now I’ll admit, that’s all very OTT and probably wouldn’t at all happen like that - it would likely play out a lot subtler - and better - but that’s just the string of events my brain is currently offering so I went with them. My point is, had bazovvi not been there, I think Brion would have still kicked off and done some sort of damage before ditching everyone to do things his own way, just not intensional murder levels of damage… when he gets into a state he’s basically pure emotional energy without direction - more impulsive than methodical. Bazovvi, and jace for that matter, manipulates him by providing a particular direction for him to focus that energy on - like activating his meta gene, or killing that “war criminal” bedlam, or claiming the markovian crown for himself. On his own I don’t think Brion would have ever come up with these ideas - especially when he’s in a rage… So long story short, while I’ll admit I don’t think it took much nudging on bazovvis part to get Brion to kill bedlam and take his brothers thrown, bazovvi was still the main contributing factor which ensured everything happened the way it did… or at least, that’s my perspective on it…

This got so long and rambly - I hope it makes sense ( I’ve read through it so many time checking over it, my brains kinda gone numb to everything it says 😬) Anyway, thanks for the ask timewandererus!

#thanks for your message #timewandererus #ask box #my response #tackling the backlog #young justice #yj #young justice outsiders #brion markov #geoforce #bazovvi #tara markov #my random thoughts #long post

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bigolgay · 1 month

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2 crashed cars on that road are a definite warning sign! also i feel like 60mph in any weather condition is very fast for bendy roads and mountains? if you can’t tell i’m a very scared driver and passenger haha :) oh yeah i get that, whenever i’m staying in a bigger city i can’t wait to get out of there again! if i wanted to see some mountains i’d have to drive for at least 4h :/ but i live kinda close to the beach so that’s nice i guess? you shouldn’t have to though, i’ll get you one of those cooling bags so we can both enjoy ice cream the way it’s supposed to be enjoyed! :) yesss!! salted caramel is so nice too! they really do, it’s so annoying, i guess this time it was simply due to me stressing so much about exams…i’m trying my best to remember that, but…i don’t know it just feels like i should try harder and that i’m not doing enough to try and improve my situation you know? like i should just pick myself up and get stuff done. yeah, i don’t know, i can’t really explain it, i’ll just have to accept the way im feeling and move on i guess :/ *big huge hugs back to you because you’re the best* (little fun fact: i’ve only gotten 2 hugs this year so far, which is a new negative record i believe :P) i have not tried the 5 minute trick and i didn’t need to BECAUSE until i started answering this i was studying hehe (i don’t know how i got myself to start and stay focused but i did)…i went through all the slides and picked out the most important ones :) sooo prize and joke please? :)

ahhhh it’s a kitten!!!! so cute!!! and they’ve already opened their eyes! thank you very much for including this! <3 are you gonna keep all of them?

So… hi… I wrote the majority of this ages ago and I’m sorry you’re only getting it now🫣I’ve missed you and I’m sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, I’m hoping to come back a little bit now because I’m not feeling as anxious and whatever. Now I know that this reply is very long overdue, so I’ll understand if you want to just start a fresh conversation because… it’s been a while and a lot has probably happened to both of us🤣🫣thank you, truly, for being so patient. I’m sorry I kept you waiting for so long!

So… into your reply… finally (sorry)

I agree, 60 on those roads is a bit too fast, in places it’s not so bad, but the majority of it makes 60 feel like a death wish🤦. 4 hours??? That’s nuts… although I am sort of jealous of you living close to the beach. Closest one to where I am is like… an hour and it’s not a super nice beach. I love the beach, and the sea😌. Ah yes! That’s smart. Yay! No melted ice cream for us! Yeah, the added stress of exams is definitely not helpful and would definitely be a huge factor in bringing about the bad feelings☹️well if it was that easy to just shake it off and magically get all your stuff done when you want, then everyone would do it. But it’s not that easy unfortunately. Are you trying your best and doing everything that feels possible for you right now? If so, you are doing plenty. Existing is a struggle sometimes. And sometimes it’s all we can do in a day. You’re allowed to feel like shit and struggle and not have the motivation to do the things. It will eventually feel easier. Even if it ends up taking a while, it will eventually. I’m sorry that it’s just not yet. Well that is surely a crime, 2 hugs?? Brb I’m gonna have to change that real quick and come and shower you with a million hugs to make up for it. (Note from me now: I hope the number of hugs so far has drastically increased since the time of you sending this). WELL DONE. IM SO PROUD OF YOU. All the hugs and headpats for you! And as promised, your rewards!

(I changed your reward because it was a picture of the kittens from when I first typed this out and… well they’re much bigger now… oh +bonus picture of them because I’m super duper sorry for keeping you waiting for so long!)

And your joke…

Dogs can’t operate MRI machines… but catscan🫣🤣

(+ bonus)

Milk is the fastest liquid on earth… it’s pasteurised before you can even see it🫣

Hope your reward was okay🤣🫶🏼

Sadly despite my begging we won’t be keeping any of Pebbles babies☹️but I’ll make sure they go to the best homes and I’ll love them muchly until the way they leave!

(Me from the present popping in to say that this is in fact true and I won’t be keeping any of Pebbles babies, but as of right now I’m possibly getting a different kitten?? It’s a whole thing. My mother said I couldn’t have one of Pebs babies but I am allowed this one kitten who’s being given away because he’s a little bit poorly? It’s confusing and i don’t understand it but never mind🤦)

#once again #and I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record #I’m sorry to have kept you waiting for so long #I really missed talking to you☹️#but I’m having a good day today and I’ve been feeling a bit better #so I’m back for the time being at least!#a sweetheart has stumbled into my asks!

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septembercfawkes · 3 years

Text

Debunking 6 Myths about Steadfast, Flat-arc Characters

Steadfast/flat-arc characters are characters who don't drastically change their worldviews over the course of the story. In contrast, a change character will do largely a 180 flip in worldview from the beginning of the story to the end of the story.

For example, in the fable of the Little Red Hen, the Little Red Hen never changes her worldview about hard work. But in A Christmas Carol, Scrooge completely changes his worldview from the beginning of the story to the end of the story.

In the writing community, there are a lot of misconceptions of the steadfast/flat-arc character (at least from my experience), which I'm going to talk about, debunk, and clarify today in this article. This information will still be useful to writers who have no interest in writing a steadfast protagonist--because nearly every successful story features a key character who is steadfast.

irst, though, we need to visit our familiar pit stop on writing terminology. The most common term for this character is the "flat-arc" character. But it is not the only term. This character has also been called the "steadfast" character, which is what Dramatica Theory calls it. While "flat-arc" is more common, I prefer "steadfast" for a few reasons:

- It conveys that the character must struggle to hold onto something (after all, one is only "steadfast" when there is opposition)

- "Flat-arc" sorta sounds like there isn't really any growth or movement, which isn't exactly accurate.

- For much of my experience in the writing world, protagonists who don't have much of an arc have been frowned upon or treated as "lesser." The term "flat-arc" reminds me of that.

This is completely preference. You may use whichever term you want. Today, I'll be switching between the two.

Now, you can have positive and negative steadfast characters. A positive one will hold onto a true worldview throughout the story, while a negative one will hold onto an inaccurate worldview. For the sake of this article, I will be focusing on the positive one, which is more common, and may do a future article that focuses more on the negative version.

Now, let's talk about some of the misunderstandings and myths about the positive steadfast character.

My (Helpful) Personal History with Steadfast, Flat-arc Characters

Despite wanting to work in the writing industry since I was seven, I entered the writing world like anyone else: naive.

I had an idea for a story I wanted to write, with a protagonist that drew inspiration from some of my all-time favorite protagonists.

What I didn't know, and what no one could explain to me, was that all these protagonists were steadfast/flat-arc characters. And that's what I wanted to write.

I took writing classes, went to conferences, read books, and tried to soak up any piece of advice anyone could give me. But for some reason, some of the information didn't seem to work into my story or apply to the favorite stories I was drawing inspiration from.

This led to a lot of questioning and challenging of "writing rules" on my part (though that was mostly internal). I was told over and over again (if not in these words) that I needed to have a change arc protagonist. It was implied, over and over again, that protagonists who didn't have change arcs were static, simple, lacking depth and dimension, and were just boring. Of course, there was always the occasional acknowledgment that 007 or Indiana Jones were successful. But I didn't want to write 007 or Indiana Jones. I still wanted to go deep into character.

Well, over the years, I unwittingly switched my protagonist from a steadfast protagonist to a change protagonist. I've only fully realized this recently when reviewing some of those favorite protagonists from years ago.

Not to be dramatic, but I feel a little cheated and let down by the writing world because of that. Even recently I went looking for resources on steadfast/flat-arc protagonists, and frankly, found very little. And of what I did find, 95% pulled from the same source material. I mean, it's great, but we are obviously lacking with this.

I tell this story, not for therapeutic reasons (okay, let's be honest, some of it is totally therapeutic!), but because I know there is someone out there who is struggling like I was. Someone who can't get their story to work because they are trying to apply change-arc advice to a flat-arc protagonist. This doesn't work. But you can't see that, because the people you are learning from (who have sincere intentions), don't fully understand or acknowledge steadfast protagonists.

For example, a writing book that has been making waves (that I looove and definitely recommend) is Story Genius by Lisa Cron. This book is amazing! And so helpful!

If you are writing a positive change protagonist.

It will not help you nail down your steadfast protagonist. Because its principles are founded on the protagonist changing.

So if you are trying to apply it to the wrong type of protagonist, you are going to get frustrated. . . . or switch your protagonist's type.

Unfortunately, I myself have been guilty of perpetuating some inaccurate advice, but only because (like most people), I didn't know better. This also tends to happen because by far the most common protagonist type is the positive change protagonist. There are lots of resources on it. There are lots of people writing it.

But this doesn't mean that the steadfast protagonist is wrong. It actually doesn't even mean that he is boring, static, or one-dimensional, nor that he doesn't grow, struggle, doubt, or change at all. He just doesn't do a direct flip in worldview. Instead, he proves his worldview true (the thematic statement).

Let's debunk some myths I've heard in the decade or so of being in the writing world.

Myth #1: Flat-arc Characters Don't Grow

The most common myth you are likely to run into, is that steadfast characters don't grow. This is inaccurate. The steadfast character doesn't drastically change her worldview. The positive steadfast protagonist has a worldview that will be proven true by the end of the story, which creates the theme. (In contrast, a negative steadfast protagonist has a worldview that will be proven untrue.)

This doesn't mean the character doesn't grow in some way.

For example, you may have a flat-arc character who becomes more competent. Maybe he learns to become a great marksman. Or maybe she learns how to navigate law school (Legally Blonde). A steadfast protagonist can gain any kind of skill, even some that are less obvious, such as learning the art of manipulation. In Moana, Moana must learn how to sail.

You may have a steadfast character who learns to become more proactive/assertive. It's not exactly unusual for a flat-arc character to not want to get involved in the main conflict in the beginning. He may be a reluctant hero. He may need to learn to not stand by but to stand up for what he believes in, by confronting the antagonist directly. In Disney's live-action Cinderella, Ella must become more assertive to fully thwart her wicked stepmother.

A steadfast character may grow in experience and wisdom. In Wonder Woman, Diana must experience and understand the real world in order to fully wield her truth against the antagonist.

A steadfast character can grow in pretty much any way that doesn't totally flip his or her worldview.

Certainly, there are flat-arc characters who don't grow at all, like 007, and that is fine, and you can write successful characters like that. But that doesn't mean that none of them grow whatsoever.

Myth #2: Steadfast Characters' Worldviews Remain Completely Static

Explained most simply, a positive steadfast character has an accurate worldview--understands the true thematic statement--from the beginning. This doesn't necessarily mean she has a perfect understanding of it.

The character's worldview may need some refining. It may not be whole or complete. Or, as mentioned, above, it may need more wisdom (discernment) behind it.

These things can only be realized with real-world experience--in other words, the tests and trials of the middle of the story.

While this concept may overlap with the prior, it's slightly different, as not every way a steadfast character grows will be linked to his or her worldview. They may be two completely separate things. But they can also go hand in hand.

For example, while Cinderella knows kindness will help her through trials (the thematic statement), her worldview needs some refining. She must realize one shouldn't let others take advantage of that kindness. She needs to stand up and be assertive with her stepmother.

In Arrival, Louise Banks knows that communication can help us understand another perspective, which enables us to avoid confrontation. However, through the story, she gains a greater, deeper, more complete understanding of that, as she learns the heptapods' language--which has the power to unit humanity and species across time.

In Wonder Woman, Diana knows from the beginning that we should fight for the world that we believe in. However, she gains more wisdom in that regard, after experiencing the gray moral complexities of humanity--does humankind deserve a better world? Only after she comes to terms with this, is she able to embrace the true thematic statement with eyes wide open.

Sure, some steadfast characters have completely static worldviews, but many of them don't.

This concept can become all the more complex when we consider secondary themes.

First, as a quick recap, the positive steadfast character has an accurate worldview--the "truth," as some like to call it--this is also the primary thematic statement. This is the truth the story is arguing. The positive steadfast character starts the story with this.

In contrast, a positive change character will start with an inaccurate worldview--the "lie," as some like to call it--this is basically the "anti-theme"--the opposing argument to the "truth." The positive change character will change to the "truth," the accurate worldview, the true thematic statement at the end.

However, many stories have more than one theme. Many stories have secondary themes.

Because of this, it's possible for the positive steadfast character to be steadfast in the primary theme, but be a change character in the secondary theme.

For example, Diana is steadfast in the primary theme, which is the argument that we should fight for the world we believe in (as opposed to the argument that we should allow humans to suffer the world they "deserve.")

However, in the secondary theme, she is a change character. The secondary theme is about whether humankind is innately black and white or whether they are innately gray. Diana begins the story believing they are innately black and white (innately good, if not for the antagonist), but learns the truth: humankind is innately gray. This is an arc of disillusionment. This feeds into the primary arc and primary theme.

I have an article on secondary themes in the works, but it's not complete yet. For now, know this:

Many stories have multiple themes. A steadfast protagonist may or may not be steadfast for every theme (or "worldview" if you prefer). But by definition, they must be steadfast for the primary theme (obviously).

Again, more on that in the future. However, this is why you may see writers argue over whether a particular character has a change or flat arc, and why the same character may get categorized differently--it depends entirely on what thematic thread the person is pulling. One may, in fact, argue Diana is a change character, because she arcs in disillusionment, while another may argue she has a flat arc, because she believes the primary thematic statement from beginning to end.

No worries if it sounds a little confusing. In short, a positive steadfast character's view may grow or shift in some way, but it never does a 180 flip in the primary arc and theme.

Myth #3: Flat-arc Characters Always Stand Firm

Just because the steadfast character has an accurate worldview and belief system (knows the "truth"), doesn't mean she never wavers or has doubts about it.

In most flat-arc protagonist stories, the character will have her beliefs tested through the conflicts of the middle. As the antagonistic force gets stronger, the character may experience doubts and powerful temptations (which may include conflicting wants). At some point, it may even seem that her worldview might be wrong. This, along with the cost of adhering to the truth, is almost always the meat of her internal journey. If you want your steadfast character to have a rich inner journey, this is where it's at.

For other steadfast protagonists, the internal journey isn't a major plotline (like 007). This means we won't see many (if any) moments of him having a worldview struggle.

Ultimately, at the end of the story, the steadfast protagonist will hold onto her accurate belief system. This is what makes her steadfast. But that doesn't necessarily mean she never second guesses it.

Myth #4: Steadfast Characters are Simple and One-dimensional

While a steadfast character is probably more likely to be simple, they aren't necessarily. Complexity isn't strictly tied to character arc.

What makes something complex is dichotomy. It's boundaries. It's layers of identity. I talk about this in my free booklet "Core Principles of Crafting Protagonists." But I'll review briefly.

Complex characters are most easily created when we smash together seeming contradictions.

- An outlaw who is law-abiding

- A soldier who refuses to hurt anyone

- A vampire who doesn’t like drinking blood

. . . for example.

Once you’ve smashed together contrasting features within the character, the gray area can be explored to find complexity. Why would an outlaw be law-abiding? How can someone be a vampire and not like blood? (These are more obvious examples, but they prove the point.)

Complexity can also be created by considering the character's personal boundaries--what it takes for him to consider doing something he wouldn't ordinarily do. We all have thresholds when it comes to our values. For example, I may have a character who proclaims that he never lies. But when the pressure gets high, I may show him lying to save the life of a loved one. This will reveal that he cares more about his loved one's life than about always being honest. In other words, he's not as simple as he first appeared.

While within the character arc, a steadfast protagonist will largely adhere to the accurate worldview, even when the pressure kicks up, this doesn't necessarily mean she can't find herself being pressured into unusual behaviors outside of it. For example, just because Job will stick to his faith in God regardless of what is inflicted upon him, doesn't mean he won't be pushed to complaining when the trials get intense. Difficulties reveal deeper character.

Finally, a character can be made complex by differentiating layers of identity. Identity gets down to how someone is defined, and no one is defined the same way from all angles. For example, who the character thinks he is, and who he actually is, will likely be different in some way. Who he believes he is and who society believes he is may be, in fact, opposite concepts.

While these elements can feed into character arcs--or rather, The Character Arc--they don't necessarily have to. There is no reason a steadfast character can't have some complexity.

Myth #5: Flat-arc Characters don't have Ghosts/Wounds

This isn't a myth I've heard very much, but I do feel like there are some misconceptions when it comes to the positive steadfast character and ghosts/wounds.

A "ghost" is a past, significant, often traumatic event that motivates the character to adopt an inaccurate worldview (the "anti-theme" or the "lie" or the "misbelief"--depending on your preferred terminology). In the industry, this is also sometimes called a "wound." You can learn all about ghosts/wounds in my article, "Giving Your Protagonist a Ghost."

But in a positive steadfast protagonist, this is often flipped just a bit. The ghost is often a past, significant, sometimes traumatic event that motivates the character to adopt the accurate worldview (the "theme" or the "truth" if you prefer).

For example, Cinderella's mother, while on her deathbed, tells Cinderella to always be kind. This motivates Cinderella to do just that.

Of course, not every character will have a ghost addressed in the story.

For the positive steadfast protagonist, the ghost may be largely resolved.

But not always. They may not have complete closure and peace. And it's possible they are still traumatized by the event.

Sometimes adhering to what is true can be nearly as haunting as having regrets. It's just that the haunting will come from either the cost of the truth, or, a lack of power--a lack of control--during the ghost. Generally speaking anyway.

In The X-Files, Fox Mulder, in the overall story and theme, is a positive steadfast character. The ongoing theme is an argument of belief vs. disbelief. (The motifs, "I want to believe" and "The truth is out there" speak to that.) However, Mulder has an unresolved, traumatizing ghost: his little sister was abducted by aliens.

This event cements him to the thematic truth of belief and motivates him to investigate anything unnatural. But this happened at the cost of his sister.

Sometimes the trauma comes from not being able to do anything, just as Mulder was powerless to stop the abduction.

Other times it may come from not being able to stop a loved one from choosing the inaccurate worldview--the "lie," "anti-theme," or "misbelief." The steadfast character may be haunted by the outcome of someone else choosing the lie.

So, just because you are writing a steadfast character, doesn't mean she can't have a traumatizing past.

Myth #6: Steadfast Characters are Boring

I have sometimes heard writing instructors discourage students from creating steadfast characters because they are "static and uninteresting." By now, you probably can see for yourself that this doesn't check out.

In reality, any kind of character becomes boring when poorly written. Sure, steadfast characters may need to be handled a little differently (they can easily become annoying when mishandled, for example), but this doesn't mean audiences aren't invested in them. A steadfast character can be just as exciting, meaningful, inspiring, and complex as most change characters.

I mean, I don't think most of us would call Diana, Fox Mulder, Moana, or Louise Banks boring.

In the future, I'll be breaking down this largely misunderstood character type some more. I mean . . . some of us have got to do more about the lack of resources out there, right? I don't want another person who wants to write a steadfast protagonist to be "tricked" into switching it to a change one. If you want to write a steadfast protagonist, this is me giving you permission.

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writeblr #nanowrimo #fanfic #flat arc #steadfast #wonder woman #arrival #moana #writing reference #writing advice #character

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aetherarf · 3 years

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If you’re comfortable writing this, can you write a part 2 of the cheating scenario on Diluc’s side where the reader thinks about what he said more after leaving and realizes he didn’t consent to what happened and they go back to him?

Of course!! I guess I ended up making him the more redeemable... i should mention the last part of that story was very much him trying to... well. the warning will tell you.

[[ WARNING: ANGST, MENTION OF SELF HARM, MENTION OF R@PE ]]

[[ Summary: After a mistake, one where he could barely think and essentially poisoned by alcohol... you realize, after some thought, that it wasn't so much he cheated, but he was... sick. Literally.

Part One Here

Word Count: 1'962 ]]

You had left him, in a fit of anger and pain and betrayal. He told you that he cheated, and while, a little later, you could commend him for telling you so bluntly, without any flowery extra dialogue or excuses, only the pure truth...

That doesn't change what happened. If it happened once, it'll happen again.

You sat alone, glad you hadn't taken him up on his offer to move in just yet... You had a few things over there, that you were probably never going to get back... but that was fine. Things could be replaced. Sadly, time couldn't be.

For awhile you just minded your own business, guiltily thinking over everything. Were you good enough? Is that why he cheated? Or were the two of you nothing?

You found yourself walking to the Angel's Share, wanting to see some old friends to talk to... just to feel a little better, but you froze as the door was open--What were you doing, walking right into his establishment that he often bartended...

No, but he wasn't here. Charles was sitting there, and he glanced at you, a look of... pain, perhaps? in his eye, but he said nothing, pouring a mug for some random man, who took it and walked off immediately.

You decided to just leave, without a single word. No one stopped you, but why would they?

That night, you instead went to the Cat's Tail, not touching a drop of alcohol, simply some non-alcoholic, but sugary sweet drinks as you pet the kitties, leaving for a few moments to get them some treats. It was a nice distraction, even if that fluffy red cat in the corner kept reminding you of Diluc...

Moving was sounding like a tempting option, but you'd give yourself a few more days at least before making a serious decision. Your heart was aching and tender, you needed at least a little time.

The next day, you went out, stocked up on food, and did nothing but hide inside from the rest of the world. The next, you didn't even leave, you just hid.

Finally, you decided to try Angel's Share. You weren't as familiar with the people in the Cat's Tail... and maybe Kaeya was there? He knew Diluc better than even you, and he could, maybe, give some outside insight... even if he hated your guts, he could at least shed some light onto the reality.

You dressed oddly, trying to hide from the world in a hood, head lowered. As you walked in, however, you realized this was unnecessary, as Charles was still working the counter.

You took your hood off, and sat at the bar, "Hey, Charles."

"Greetings," he said, having been putting something under the counter as you sat down, "What do you want?"

"Is Kaeya here?" You asked... he looked at you oddly.

"No, left in a rush. Some Knightly business." He probably knew more, he was a smart man who knew when to speak and when to seal his lips.

"... has, uhm," you felt like an idiot, but you wanted to ask, "Has Diluc been around? I haven't heard of anything about him lately." Not a total lie, there was always gossip about him. But--he sighed, and shook his head.

"No one in Mondstadt has seen him in a few days."

Your heart sunk--you aren't even entirely sure why.

"Some wonder if he died, and they're trying to figure what to do with the Winery," He looked at you oddly, "Some say he's sick," He began cleaning a glass, "Some say he's just left on some private business. But that's all I heard."

You knew that, just before... that night, there had been high-strung gossip about some drama, about how Diluc had caused issue with the Knights again ( something thrown drastically out of proportion ), and if there was sudden silence...

"Sorry for taking up your time, thank you, I remembered I have something to do," He just nodded as you pushed yourself up, rushing out of the building.

Charles just shook his head, knowing better to even mutter... someone always liked to listen.

...

"Master Diluc," Adelinde said, her voice soft, "Do you need anything."

"I'm fine." He said, weakly. His skin was pale, and he looked beyond just sick. Too much alcohol, even a glass caused him to spew blood, from his dramatic moment where he wanted to spew out his insides to stop breathing, it had taken a massive toll on his body.

However, he had done little to nothing, too weak to fight it. A broken heart plus physical damage was a battle seldom won. But, he would, somehow, even if another part of him died.

He knew better. After... after what had happened, the only other time he truly tried at intimacy ended to agonizingly, he shouldn't have tried a second time, but he did.

He would not try a third.

The door to his room opened, and Adelinde walked over, the sound of hushed whispers, before it clicked shut and she turned back to Diluc.

"You... have a visitor."

Diluc was silent.

"It's... them." Adelinde said, with no small degree of fear and worry, and for the first time, he pushed himself up--his head was reeling, flopping back onto the bed, his hand over his eye, groaning.

Blood loss did that.

"Did they," he inhaled, "Did they say what they wanted?"

"They said 'just to talk.'

He, much slower this time, shifted to sit up. "Have them sit in the main room and wait, I need a moment."

"Are you alright alone?" She asked, as though it was not the only thing he had asked for. His silence was enough to tell her, and she left the room, the door clicking behind her.

He got dressed--Tempted to wear his normal coat, but he opted for a simple outfit that looked decent enough. He was too tired for anything else. Finally, he got up, and walked slowly, wondering if he should have had you come straight in... but, no, he knew better to ask of that.

You were sitting, waiting and twiddling your thumbs, looking up as he walked by. You stood, but he sat down in a chair near to you, but giving you enough space that you'd have to stand up to reach him...

A tactical move.

You sat back down, trying to just get a little closer.

"I'm very tired," he said, "So please tell me what you need from me."

His words were harsh, he was not trying to send you away, to scare you off. He enjoyed, to a degree, seeing you close once again, but it was agony as well, ripping his heart in two. He would not prolong the conversation, but he would not force it to a halt.

Emotions were hard to endure.

"I-I just... I didn't hear anything about you recently." You were worried.

Were you afraid of having to live with the guilt of an unstable man?

"I'm sick, and weak, but fine. I've just been recovering."

You swallowed thickly, "May I ask what from?"

He hesitated, tugging at his sleeves, wishing he had put on a pair of gloves to fiddle with, "Alcohol reaction. It tore up my insides quite badly." He explained, "I'll be fine in a week or so."

... You knew it hurt him, but... this bad?

"That's... okay." You didn't know what to say... and finally sighed. "I want to... I didn't, I left too soon. I didn't... think about you at all, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I cheated, that's all there was."

If he was honest, he felt disgusted. He didn't... he didn't remember the face of the woman--was it even a woman? But he felt... awful, sick, torn up. Just like...

The first time.

He shuddered.

"Is that all?" He asked.

"I want to know what happened," you stated, half wanting to hope maybe it was a misunderstanding. If he had, while in his drunken, and admittedly air deprived state, kissed some woman and thought it was you... You could forgive that.

However, he just looked down.

"I..." he swallowed thickly, "I don't remember much. I was pressured into drinking alcohol, and I couldn't spit it all out."

"Who pressured you?"

"I don't remember. It was... some sort of tense situation. I think there was a man, and a woman, and she wouldn't drink it. It was... tense... I think I drank it. She was upset, and eventually ran off, I don't remember."

"... Was it drugged?"

Diluc's eyes widened for a moment.

"I," he struggled to think, "That may have been why I drank it, to... stop her from drinking it."

You were scared to hear the rest of the story.

"I drank it, Charles was there, and I went to the back. I don't-everything was fuzzy. Someone's mouth... on me, then they..."

There were tears in his eyes, and he wobbled a little in his seat.

"I'm sorry, I... I don't think I can keep speaking, it... hurts."

"It hurts?"

He nodded, tears on his face, with all the vulnerability of a young child who was scared and alone.

You weren't stupid.

"Did you... want it?" You asked, and he shook his head,

"No," he was choked up, openly crying as he tried to hide it, "No, no... I didn't."

You didn't care about this distance, standing up, gently resting your hand on his leg, and then holding him. He hugged you, but he felt so weak.

"I'm so sorry," You felt yourself tearing up--you had to be strong. Not only did something horrific happen to him, which he could scarcely speak of, but you had made it all worse by punishing him for it.

"I want to be there for you, I want to take care of you... I'm sorry, I fucked up. I understand if you're upset, or mad, and if you don't forgive me..."

Suddenly, and for only a moment, his hug had crushing force, pulling you closer.

"I just don't want to be alone."

"You won't be alone," you cooed, sweetly, "Do... you want to go to bed?"

He nodded, weakly whimpering, and you helped him to his feet, the two of you walking ahead to the bedroom--Not missing how badly he struggled. You knew his allergy to alcohol was bad, but this bad?

You made your way in, ignoring the harsh and confused looks of the staff, shutting the door behind you.

Everything looked the same as you left, and you helped him sit down, how he... slumped, weakly.

"Do you want to get undressed?"

Slowly, he nodded, and you started with his shirt, pulling it off, tossing it to the side, resolving to let the maids deal with it later... But, you froze, seeing bandages on his arms, you grabbing his hand and pulling it a little closer to you, looking at it.

"What happened?" You asked, and he was... quiet.

"I felt..." He was trying to think, and refused to look at you, "Unclean. I... In a moment, I... thought I could claw it off."

"... Is this why you're so weak."

Slowly, he nodded, and then looked up at you with the look of a puppy that was about to be punished, "Are you mad at me?" He asked, voice aquiver as he was about to cry.

Are you mad, you thought, yes, but only at whoever hurt you.

"No," you said, sitting down beside him, hugging him, feeling him lean his weight into you, "But I want you to look for help, someone who can help you."

He nodded, still weakly holding onto you.

"I didn't think it'd happen again."

Again. How horrifying a single word could be.

"You don't have to deal with it by yourself, this time."

#genshin impact #diluc #genshin diluc #diluc x reader #genshin diluc x reader #angst #angsty bark #hurt and comfort #// thats a tag now #bark writes #???#fluffy bark #// for the end #// tossing in some other messed up hcs i also have but havent talked about

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everythingharrypotterblog · 3 years

Text

charmed [7]: ‘night changes’ (remus lupin x reader)

a/n: i got rejected from my top choice university program today so if im gonna be unhappy, might as well make u guys happy and release parts 5 and 7

brief summary: y/n and remus are both teachers at hogwarts and this is his first transformation where he is under wolfsbane. y/n remains in human form as he transforms. werewolf or not, all y/n ever feels is him.

series summary: set in the prisoner of azkaban, including its major plot points. remus and y/n get hired by dumbledore last minute to teach at hogwarts, defense against the dark arts and charms respectively. not wanting the students to know they are married, they navigate the challenging year through hidden glances, hand holds underneath the table and loving moments in their offices. even with all their efforts to conceal their relationship, their chemistry does not go unnoticed by the student population of hogwarts, who grow fond of the pair as they offer them some of the best classes they’ve had in a while. their relationship as newlyweds is strengthened as teaching the next generation of wizards unlocks a sea of memories of their love story. for the second time in his life, remus holds hogwarts responsible for some of his happiest memories. he’s given the chance to create them with the love of his life, y/n, who has taught and continues to teach him that every part of him is lovable, remaining forever under her charm.

series masterlist here

join taglist here

previously, in part 1:

“No, you don’t understand, it’s incredibly, extremely dangerous for a human to be around a were-“ Remus had tried to say, before Y/N had stood up and with a crack, disappeared. A single white dove hovered where she had stood, its wings flapping slowly to stay afloat.

“Y/N?”

With a crack, Y/N had appeared again.

“I didn’t know you were an Animagus.”

Y/N grinned.

“What, you thought James, Sirius and Peter were the only ones to ever succeed at it?”

Remus still grimaced, shaking his head and looking down.

“It’s still too dangerous, I won’t risk it. I couldn’t possibly think of hurting you, I’m too dangerous-“

“Remus, stop it. You didn’t hurt Peter as a rat back in the day, you wouldn’t hurt a flinging bird either. Plus, I got a serious height advantage on you anyway.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him teasingly, transforming back again into the dove and flying up to the ceiling. Lupin wasn’t convinced.

“Y/N, you shouldn’t-“

The dove reappeared as Y/N and kneeled between Lupin’s legs, taking his face into her hands carefully.

“Please? Let me be there for you. Let me try-“

“I-“ Remus winced in his crippling self-doubt.

“I promise, if I ever feel unsafe, I’ll fly away. I promise.”

Remus nodded. “I love you.”

Y/N was taken aback, but surged forward to press her lips against his.

“I love you too.”

It was the first time they had said that to each other.

The first full moon of the Hogwarts term was now but a day away. As it drew nearer, Remus got paler and grew more irritable, as it always was.

The students never noticed, as he remained their kind Professor Lupin to them. Remus valued the staff and Dumbledore in extremely high regard, so he mainly kept to himself to avoid conflict.

However, his short temper was not 100% appeasable.

He was presently in his office, leg anxiously bouncing. He couldn’t help but jitter as restless energy coursed through him. The door opened, and he jerked his head in its direction, to see Y/N walk in, slightly anxious as well.

“Hi, love.” She said, making her way to him.

“He’s late.” Remus muttered.

“It’s Albus Dumbledore, what do you expect- maybe he had a Wizarding War in Luxembourg to stop before this or something.” Y/N joked, dragging a chair beside her and taking Remus’ hand.

His leg stopped bouncing.

1980.

Remus sat in an armchair in the House of Black’s library, attempting to distract himself before the night would come, a transformation night.

Loud voices reverberated across the walls, and he usually wouldn’t have minded, but the full moon made him more irritable.

“Will you guys stop yelling!” He called out across the hallway to the room where James, Sirius and a couple other Order members were talking over each other.

Sirius shared a look with James and they shrugged, making a motion with their hand asking the others to lower their voices.

“Hi, guys!” In came Y/N’s voice, as she walked through the door after a day of work, setting down her jacket. She joined the table for a few snacks, before inquiring, “Where’s Remus?”

“Ah, in the library.” James said mindlessly, shuffling the pack of cards they were playing with. He spotted Y/N head for that direction, and attempted to add, “But I wouldn’t disturb him if I were-“

But Y/N already walked in the library, wanting to see her boyfriend. She found him buried in a book, sitting slightly uncomfortably in his clothes, as if his body was having pre-transformation aches.

“Hi, love.” She said gently.

Remus peered up from his book and instantly smiled, uncrossing his legs and patting at his lap. Y/N took a seat on him, and he wrapped his arms around her comfortably.

“How was work?” He grumbled, mouth kissing up her arm and shoulder.

“Oh, just the usual.”

He listened to her talk about her day, hugging her as she sat in his lap.

James heard faint sounds of their light voices from the other room, and laughed. Sirius shook his head, both of them amused by their friend’s drastic change in demeanor.

“Little fucker.”

Dumbledore appeared in Remus’ office not long after Y/N joined, with a goblet of familiar-looking blue smoke.

“Remus, Y/N. I took the liberty of bringing you your last dose myself, Severus has already done so much. So, you wanted to talk about the logistics of your upcoming transformation.”

Remus nodded, leaning forward and taking the potion.

“This is your first time with Wolfsbane, so we cannot be sure on how it will affect you. However, I trust that it has been brewed properly, so it should do its function, which is to maintain your mental state when you transform.”

“So technically, he could just stay and hide here in his office and wait for the night to be over?” Y/N asked Dumbledore, thumb rubbing over Remus’ hand.

“Yes. If the potion has been brewed correctly, which I am sure it has, Remus should transform into nothing but a harmless wolf. Of course, because this is your first time, if you still wish to go outside and-“

“Yes.” Remus interjected, once he finished the last of the potion. “I wish to still use the Whomping Willow, just to avoid all potential risk.”

“Very well.” Dumbledore smiled, bowing his head. “I have complete trust in you, so you do as you please.”

“And I should… I won’t forget who I am, I won’t lose my mind?” Remus asked.

“No.” Dumbledore confirmed. “Your mental state will stay intact.”

“Then, I can technically be in human form with him.” Y/N gasped as the idea jumped into her head. She was immediately met with startled looks from both Dumbledore and Remus, Dumbledore merely intrigued and Remus looking downright terrified. “I mean, I could be with him. Me, a human.” She added hastily.

Glancing at Remus’ fervently opposed look, Dumbledore merely stood up.

“I will leave that between you two to discuss. Goodnight, and good luck.” He said. “Oh! And one more thing.”

His eyes twinkled. “I hear talk amongst the students since the start of term. About you two.”

Remus and Y/N looked at each other nervously.

“Something about spotting their Charms and Defence teachers always being present in each other’s offices…”

Y/N mouth dropped in shock, trying to figure out how students could even know where they spent their nights, before Dumbledore laughed heartily, shaking his head.

“I kid, I kid, I have heard nothing of the sort. All that has reached my ears are the raving comments about your classes and subjects. Keep up the good work, Professors.” Dumbledore chuckled, and vanished into the fireplace.

Y/N stared dumbfounded at the spot he disappeared, before letting out a laugh.

“I-“ She blinked. “He is so weird, and can you believe, I almost let slip that I’m an Animagus-“

She stopped once she looked at her husband, whose expression was grave.

“Wha-“

“You cannot stay in human form with me.” He shook his head.

Y/N stayed silent for a second. “Why not? If this potion works, and we know it will, your-“

“We can’t be too sure!” Remus sighed. “Werewolves, we hunt for humans. We look for victims to bite, to… to-“

“If the potion doesn’t work, then I’ll just transform into a dove, like always.”

Remus met her eyes in a worried gaze.

“I’ve been a bird countless of times on your transformations, you’re still gonna let me do that, are you?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “You even said, werewolves look for humans, animal companions are harmless-“

“Which is exactly why you can’t be in human form, darling! The extreme danger that would put you in, you have no idea.”

“I have no idea?” Y/N pursed her lips, instinctively reaching out to her bicep, on which lay a tiny white scar.

Remus glanced at it too, with almost hatred and remorse in his eyes, as he sighed, hand tracing over it and kissing it.

“Maybe you should transform right now, my love.” Remus said anxiously as he, Y/N, James, Sirius and Peter walked through an abandoned part of the woods.

The sky was dark, and the clouds radiated a faint shimmer indicating the full moon would appear soon.

“I won’t transform until I absolutely need to.” Y/N said firmly, hand holding onto Remus’ tightly.

“She’ll follow our lead, Moony, don’t worry.” Sirius said.

Unintentionally, they stopped at a small hill, deeming the timing to be right.

“Y/N, it’s not too late, you could just Disapparate away, I-“ Remus said to Y/N.

“Remus. Stop. I’m not scared.” Y/N smiled at him, cupping his cheek. “You’re still you. And I love you, all parts of you. Nothing will change that, or you and me.”

Remus nodded, breathing quickly and pulled her in for a kiss, before the other Marauders beckoned Y/N to back away slightly as the moon started to peak.

The night changed in an instant.

The opal orb shone in the sky and in the moonlight, Y/N watched as Remus’ tall silhouette trembled, his body morphing into a werewolf.

Y/N was in awe. His body lengthened. His shoulders were hunching. Hair sprouted visibly from his head and neck and his hands curled into clawed paws. Straightening up, he howled to the sky, the sound echoing into the rest of the night.

Y/N’s mind went blank. The Marauders had transformed as she kept her eye on Remus. For a second, the werewolf’s eyes met hers, but before she could do anything, he lunged for her.

Adrenaline shot through her body as the werewolf made a swipe towards her, a big black dog jumping in between them just in time for Remus’ sharp claw to slightly graze her shoulder before she transformed with a crack, into a dove and flew up, batting her wings.

“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.” Remus whispered painfully, finger tracing over the small permanent scratch near Y/N’s shoulder.

“But I’m fine.” Y/N pursed her lips, eyes looking into Remus’ face imploringly. “Because I knew that it wasn’t you. And after the night ended, you cared for me so tenderly and lovingly. Gently. Because that is the real you.”

Remus soaked a warm towel for the millionth time as he sat Y/N on the toilet next to the sink to tend the small scratch she had acquired from him.

“Rem, it’s okay, do you realize that I’ve broken literal bones before! This is nothing.” Y/N said, letting him clean the patch of skin before taking both of his hands in hers. He kneeled in between her legs.

“I could never forgive myself for this, I’m so sorry-“

“Please. In the best way possible, shut up.” Y/N smiled, eyes welling up at the unnecessary look of remorse plaguing Remus’ face. “That wasn’t you. And nothing that I saw or felt last night changes who you are to me now.”

“You don’t…see me as a monster? You don’t even feel a tiny bit scared being with me right now?” Remus teared up.

Y/N smiled, eyes crinkling and letting tears fall down her cheeks. “I just feel you.”

Y/N woke up from her nap the night of the full moon to find Remus’ side of the bed empty. Eventually, she had gotten Remus to agree to let her accompany him as she always did, but in human form this time.

Getting up, she spotted Remus already at the door. She crossed her arms.

“Are you running away?” Y/N frowned, her husband jumping at getting caught.

“No, I-I figured I’d head out earlier.”

Y/N walked towards him, squeezing his shoulders.

“We talked about this. It’ll be okay.” Y/N reassured him. She saw the fear still in his eyes but he nodded, blinking some away and reaching to get Y/N’s coat for her.

They walked in the chilly night air, making their way to the Forest. Although this felt completely new, they had never done this at Hogwarts and they were expecting new results tonight, there was also a sense of déjà-vu present in the air.

Y/N had been helping Remus with every one of his transformations during their entire marriage and before, ever since she was 18. It’s been almost 13 years that they were in this together.

We're only gettin' older, baby

And I've been thinkin' about it lately

“Thank you for being here.” Remus said, squeezing her hand. “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

Y/N squeezed it back tightly, beaming at him. The moon was close to being fully out, and they stopped on a small hill overlooking Hagrid’s Hut where it would appear in full view.

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

“Remember, if I make any sudden moves, you transform on the spot, okay?” Remus looked down at her, eyes full of conviction. Y/N nodded.

They both stood there, waiting, anticipation through the roof. They felt nauseous, from nervousness. The clouds began to fade, and more moonlight shined onto them. Slowly, they let go of each other’s hands and took a couple steps back from each other.

Everything that you've ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

The first beam of light hit Remus as the full moon emerged.

But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

His neck began elongating, thick hair growing from his head and covering his back. His shoulders hunched as he grew taller, breaking through the material of his clothes.

It will never change, baby

Y/N watched from a short distance as Remus morphed into a towering creature. Her incantation was ready in her head, just in case she had to transform into the dove.

It will never change, baby

Slowly, the full-fledge werewolf straightened up from its hunched over position. His eyes met Y/N’s and her body tensed, remembering. Instead of lunging at her, he sat down, his human-like eyes expressing gentleness. Y/N took a tiny step towards him.

“Remus?” She said, voice trembling.

The werewolf nodded.

Taking steps closer, she shakily got down onto her knees to join him on the ground. She lifted a hand, tentatively, and inch by inch, approached it to cup his cheek. At the contact, they both breathed out in relief.

“I just feel you.” Y/N smiled, tears flowing from her eyes.

It will never change me and you.

to be continued

a/n: as always i’d love to hear what u thought or what ud like to see of the series:)

tags @bicyhot1 @pink-hufflepuff @legitlaughingflamingo @brod16 @gerardonmyway @blueleonor @suranne-doesstuff @rxmusblxck @spxllcxstxr @littleemo477 @just12randomfandoms @svnkissdd @norrreee @m4r13l3y @jess6578 @rorysreallyrandom @the-nightingale-not-the-lark @archeve19 @wolfstarslovechild @pan-pride-12 @x4kai4x @chrrybmb-mp3 @reggieluna @happyslittlekitten @missemilygilmore @all-things-fictional @strangefirething @abitofeverythinggg @yeahshewayout @imfreeeeeee123 @harold-pothead @lunnybunny12 @ellieblack11 @tugabooos @joyfulbiscuit @justonemorechapter07 @wonderwoman292 @skateb0red @secretsthathauntus @siriusblackswhoree @sabonbonn @untraveled-road @annabeljareau @valiantobservationkitty @diffbeanofbrand @theeicedamericano @spencerreidlove @flannellover67 @wishiwasdeadric @becks7401 @katsav17 @emmy-kitty13 @purritoqueen @girl22334 @monicafebyana @talsiaa @sierrax023 @axva03 @uhh-dk @nataliahgrace

#remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #Professor Remus Lupin #professor lupin x reader #professor! reader #charmed

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onebizarrekai · 3 years

Text

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

#god I keep telling myself I'm gonna stop rambling about v3 #v3 spoilers #drv3 spoilers #ndrv3 #random stuff #but making this… it sounded so fun #danganronpa

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hongism · 3 years

Text

mists of celeste ➻ 37

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, smut ➻ word count: 16.9k(? i think?) ➻ rating: M ➻ warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba chapter specific warnings: talks of torture, talks of past self-harm, nothing directly graphic all mentioned through conversation, graphic depiction of a panic attack ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you

⇐ previous | next ⇒ | masterlist

✧✧✧ act five ➻ part four

“I’m going to kill the king, Hyunwoo.”

“Y/N, you can’t… that’s going too far.”

“I don’t think we have a choice any longer.”

“We always have a choice, Y/N. It’s just about what you decide to do with that choice that matters. Think about why you’re doing what you’re doing, and what your intentions truly are. It’s not about revenge or payment for a crime — the crimes of his people cannot be put onto his shoulders.”

A sigh passes through your lips, one that sounds more exasperated than anything else, and Hyunwoo lifts a brow upon hearing the noise.

“This is revenge, Hyunwoo. He allowed my past to be taken, he created the law that allows the military to do that. Not to mention the other crimes he has committed — even if they are a result of him sitting idly by and watching them happen. I’m not saying Jisung is always right or that he is a saint for wanting to do this. But if Jisung won’t commit to doing it, then I’ll do it for him.”

“And we swore to find a way to get those memories back, Y/N. Don’t let this cloud your judgment. Don’t let your devotion to making Jisung happy decide your future. If this is something he wants, then he should do it himself and face the consequences on his own! It’s not a burden that you should bear as well. I know this is something you will come to regret!”

“Then you’ll have to stop me with force because I’ve already made my mind up about this. I don’t see Jisung getting in my way right now. But after all, isn’t this what he wants? He’s just too much of a coward to do the dirty work himself!”

“We both know where he stands on this, which is precisely why he’s not here. Just — please let us try one more time. I’ve spoken with a few of my off-planet contacts about this, and we have one last idea that might reverse the effects of the serum. You know how difficult this is; the military keeps such a tight wrap on everything about the serum. It’s near impossible to just get a spare vial, and even harder to examine how it works with test subjects while still being ethical. We are trying our best, I promise, just please hold out a little while longer. Jisung is getting things set up now… so please… just come with me and try before you do anything drastic.”

The man extends a hand, palm facing towards the ceiling and fingers outstretched for you to take. There’s hope in his eyes, a hope you haven’t seen from him in a long time, and that look is what brings your feet forward. You place your palm over his and curl your fingers tight around the side of his hand. He squeezes back as a small grin overtakes his lips.

“If this doesn’t work, then you know what I have to do, Hyunwoo.”

“I know,” he whispers. The hope in his eyes flickers a little, like a flame hit by a gust of wind. “In that case, I’ll do whatever I have to so that you don’t come to regret that decision.”

“Hey, get up. It’s go time.”

You wake with a start, not fully come out of the memory that paints the insides of your eyelids until you look around at your surroundings. Yeosang seems to be the one who woke you seeing as his hand is still outstretched to your arm. The sight of him brings you back to reality and reminds you of where you are and what exactly is going on. Jongho sits on your other side, dressed in nicer clothes than you’ve ever seen him wear before — a pleated and pristine navy suit complete with a bright yellow tie and hair gelled back on his head. Yeosang too wears a somewhat expensive garb although he appears more natural in the silk tunic covering his torso. His naturally dark roots are starting to peek through the blond near his scalp, accentuating the harsh part down the middle of his head.

Despite the fact that both look relatively harmless in this state, you know they each have weapons hidden somewhere on their person underneath that formal wear, just as you do with the knives strapped over your thighs under the skirt attached to your waist. Such an outfit like yours is something you hardly agreed to — it was moreso an insistence on Seonghwa’s part to at least dress the part (although he had to listen to some of your incessant nagging about how you could never fight in a dress so he had to settle on finding a substitute in the form of a jumpsuit with a skirt wrapped around the back. Yet the more you pick at the seams and touch the fabric, the more you recall the none too pleasant conversation you and Seonghwa shared as you were preparing to leave for the mission.

“Perhaps I do have an eye for beauty after all, or is it that you simply look breathtaking in anything?” Seonghwa stands in the doorway to your bedroom, not a mind for privacy as he watches you struggle to tug the zipper of your suit up.

“Can’t even breathe on my own, huh?” You huff out as you drop the zipper in defeat.

“I’ve already seen every inch of you, have I not? There’s nothing to hide that I haven’t seen before,” Seonghwa says through a laugh. He watches your cheeks flush with color before dropping his arms to his side and coming closer to you. He remains wordless as he pulls your zipper up for you, smoothing the fabric under his fingers down once it’s pulled up to your neck. “It suits you. Things like this, I mean. The silk makes you look… softer, yet the color combination of black and white makes you look lethal. Perfect definition of beauty, no? That something so delicate could also kill you? A wonderful dichotomy in my eyes.”

“Someone is in a poetic mood today.” You don’t hide the way your eyes roll to the back of your head, but Seonghwa doesn’t seem all too bothered by your show of faux-annoyance. Instead, his hands find your hips and turn you to face him directly, staring so intently into your eyes with his own dark ones that you lose the rest of your retort.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to go on this mission so desperately but that didn’t quite work out.” You’re quick to shake your head, already in the midst of denying his words before he even finishes his sentence.

“It’s alright. I’ll have Yeosang and Jongho there with me.”

“I would go if only Hongjoong would let me bu—” The thought cuts short as you place a hand over his forearm.

“Seonghwa, it’s okay. Hongjoong is right to have you stay here while you’re not 100% better. And you can both keep an eye on Jisung this way. We’ll bring Wooyoung back as quickly as possible, I swear.” Instead of consoling the man, your words seem to have an opposite effect as he drops his gaze to the floor.

“If I were stronger, this wouldn’t even be an issue. You should not have had to waste so much time having to look after my fragile and weak mental state when you could have caught up to the ship sooner and had all three of them back in one go.”

“This is what we’re working with, Hwa. It has nothing to do with your welfare. We still would have been too late regardless of whether that night had happened or not. So please — it will all work out and be okay. It has to.”

Seonghwa’s smile is quaint, a small twitch of his lips, then he’s leaning in to close the distance between your lips. You lift your hand to push hard against his chest, furthering that distance before he gets the chance to meet your lips with his.

“I just put on this black lipstick and you already want to mess it up? How rude,” you scoff. That isn’t a real reason, and you both know it, and you only solidify that further when you speak next before biting your tongue. “You shouldn’t push it right now. I still haven’t forgiven you for not fighting my decision to go with Jisung. Besides wasn’t the decision to… stop whatever this is mutual?”

“It was, of course,” he murmurs back, not quite meeting your eyes. “I am merely a creature of habit, so it will take some time for me to adjust to this change. But… Y/N, might I be so bold as to ask you something?”

“Hm, isn’t that a question right there?”

“I’ll take that as a yes then?” You regard him with a small nod but pull away so that his hands drop to his sides again. “Were any of the feelings you had for me something real and tangible? Not just because of what we are and that comfort of both being Sirens, I mean.”

You should have known he would bring this up eventually, especially with how the two of you are constantly dancing around each other and the topic. Still, you aren’t ready for it.

“I… don’t think I know the answer to that question, but even if I did, I-I might not be able to answer with complete honesty.” The smile that comes to paint Seonghwa’s lips is nothing short of sad and painful, not quite reaching his bright eyes with its usual mirth.

“It’s a conversation I wish for us to have one day, but I too fear that I might not be able to be completely honest either. Perhaps — perhaps we got a little too caught up in the heat of things without truly thinking about why we were doing the things we were doing.”

“Why did you do it then? I was the one who gave the initial push, I started things, I claim responsibility for that, but you pulled right back. So why?”

“I have found time to think about such things quite a bit lately since I was left in the medbay alone for so long; however, now is not the time to talk about that as it would take too long. Has Wooyoung brought you back yet?”

“No, not since the night in the medbay. But San very clearly said three days until they would land on Dorado, and it’s been six since then. They should be there by now, and the deals should have gone through. Wooyoung’s was to be immediate after all.” Seonghwa’s smile drops into a half-hearted scowl.

“Without Wooyoung on the inside, we will have no way of knowing where San and Mingi are.”

“Unless Jisung decides to be kind with his information.” You run a hand through your hair, mussing the already down tresses enough to be somewhat noticeable. “We’ll have to make do.” Seonghwa stretches across the empty space between you

“I won’t keep you any longer then. Tell the others good luck from me, and please… be careful? No unnecessary risks if you can avoid them. I’d like to see you all back in one piece.”

Reality swoops in on you as Jongho places a firm hand over your thigh.

“You alright? I can practically feel you thinking so hard.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Just… wondering about the mission.”

“It’ll be okay,” Jongho murmurs, squeezing at your leg a little tighter. “It’s a straightforward mission — easy in and out.”

“Hopefully.” Yeosang is the one to hum the word but he doesn’t look at either of you as he speaks. “Once we’re in, I’ll talk to the main desk and ask for someone with Wooyoung’s general appearance. It’ll be a bit difficult because they will have given a new name — something a prostitute would have. I’m not sure how many people in there will have similar appearances to Wooyoung but we’ll have to do our best. You two remember what you’re supposed to do?”

“Yes,” you nod. “Follow suit, wait fifteen minutes for you to pass through the reception area, then ask the same thing. A male short in stature with black hair and tanned skin. All prostitutes have collar so it won’t be Wooyoung’s defining feature any longer.” The recitation rolls off your tongue with ease after having heard Yeosang repeat it so many times by now. He nods in approval nonetheless.

“Remember there are cameras in each of the rooms. Don’t know how they use them but it’s something to be aware of. Hopefully, one of us will be able to come across Wooyoung, and in the case that you do?”

“We are to stay in the room with him for the allotted time, ping back to the ship and let Hongjoong know we have him, then wait for his signal,” Jongho responds. “His contact here on Dorado will be hacking their surveillance systems once we are certain that we have Wooyoung in a safe position.”

“Hongjoong sure seems to have a lot of contacts for someone who doesn’t trust people,” you murmur more to yourself than to anyone else, but Yeosang picks up on it nonetheless.

“His contacts are few and far between. This is one he has known since before he became a captain, so he holds a bit more trust with him. Back to the plan though, after his contact confirms our safety, you’ll crack a window and hop out hopefully unscathed. Remember that the Upper Echelon of Dorado is tight on security. Whoever gets Wooyoung out will have to be mindful of guards and try not to look suspicious. If any guards stop you, do not engage with violence. Simply do as they ask you to and tell them that Wooyoung is your slave. And one last thing: don’t forget we’ll be going in silent so keep a close eye on your wristbands. Understood?”

“Clear as day,” Jongho says while you offer only a hasty nod.

“Good, stay sharp then. We’ll be landing soon, and it’ll be go time immediately after that.” With that, Yeosang sits back and shuts his eyes, leaving you and Jongho to stew over the plan again in silence. At least until you decide you can’t take it anymore and turn to talk to the Berserker again.

“Are you nervous at all about the mission?”

A shrug.

“No more than usual. Recovering Wooyoung won’t be easy by any means, of course. It’s a step in the right direction, right? How are you feeling?” As though sensing your nerves, he pats your thigh a few times, and you simply stare down at the dirty floor beneath your feet.

“I feel a bit guilty in a way because I’m not too worried about the mission,” you admit, albeit quietly because you aren’t sure how please Yeosang would be to hear the words. “The only thing that is on my mind right now is how San is doing and if he’s okay.” Although you told Seonghwa otherwise, the sudden radio silence that Wooyoung has given you has made you anxious to an unspeakable degree. And not having the security of being able to see San through Wooyoung’s eyes is plaguing you more than you’d like to admit.

“I understand that,” Jongho says through a deep exhale. “I feel the same way about Mingi right now honestly. No matter how much faith and trust I have in Mingi, that fear always lingers and resides in me.”

“That’s how I feel about San. I shouldn’t be worried about him but part of me is just fearful that we won’t make it in time. That he’ll accept the serum before we can get him out.”

Jongho brings his hand up to take hold of one of yours, squeezing around your palm as tight as he can without hurting you.

“I know San better than I know anyone on the crew, besides Mingi perhaps. I’ve spent years at San’s side. He was the only person who trusted me at first and trusted me enough to let me in. That trauma he bears, the scars on his past, the red in his ledger, those lingering pains that resurfaced when the mutiny happened — I have felt them all. I spent months at the foot of his bed, taking what pain I could away for as long as I could, just existing to comfort him and help him get through even one more night. And in that myriad of emotions I felt from San, not once did I ever feel him desire to take it all away. Those scars he bears are part of him, and he treats them as such. Something like… small accessories on a bigger picture that he won’t let go of. So no matter what happens, I have confidence that San won’t let them win. He’s far too stubborn for that, his heart is too big, he has too much love in his body for such a thing. He would rather die before he forgets the crew, and that fact alone makes me confident that San will hold out.”

You are left in the wake of Jongho’s words for too long, letting them crawl under your skin and find a home there. You count the seconds that pass before your voice finds you again.

“I understand that.” Forty-one seconds. “It’s just the fear of him being hurt when I’m not around to stop it that is hard to get past.” Jongho’s smile is nothing if not soft and gentle, the epitome of understanding.

“In our line of work, that fear is always present. It’s always a possibility too, but at some point, you reach a point where you accept that sometimes, you won’t always be able to save someone from all pain. Just because you can’t prevent every ounce of pain doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong or that you’re not doing enough.” Jongho pauses. Some emotion fills his red eyes and leaves them swimming with something unspoken. “There are some pains that we must allow to happen, no matter how much we wish to do the opposite. Even something as horrid as pain can be necessary and needed to move forward in life. Try not to dwell on it too much and focus on Wooyoung for now, yeah?”

“I’m trying my best,” you sigh and drop your head back against the seat. The second your thoughts begin to drift, you are brought back to another memory, this time one of Hongjoong’s dark office with Seonghwa at your side.

“You punched Jisung in the face?”

“Please, I let him off easy,” you huff back, ignoring the lieutenant’s slight shock in favor of finding interest in the wall.

“That’s not the important part,” Hongjoong cuts in from where he sits behind his desk. You shift to glance over the captain. “Does Jisung know anything about you being a Siren?”

“No, not that I recall,” you mutter after little thought. “I never slept with him or anything like that, and I can’t remember him ever seeing my back so it’s safe to assume he doesn’t know. Besides who would just see tattoos and immediately assume ‘Siren’?”

“Then his interest in you has nothing to do with you being a Siren?”

“Exactly, but why is that important? I can tell you why he wants me if that’s what you’re curious about.”

“We’re just eliminating suspicions right now.” Hongjoong shifts his focus to where Seonghwa stands. He wears a bit of a cocky grin as they stare at each other, both feet slung up on the edge of his desk and one brow raised. “See? Jin has nothing to do with this.”

“That doesn’t eliminate the possibility altogether!” Seonghwa retorts. A frown mars his otherwise pretty features, twisting his lips into a scowl so deep that you feel your own muscles ache at the sight of it.

“You live your life in fear of Seokjin. For what? Do you not trust me to keep you safe?”

“That isn’t it and you know it, Joong. I will not sabotage your plans simply because of what I am. That is why we keep my identity to be a closely-guarded secret yet our number one enemy knows of that identity. That is a weakness, and it’s one that you need to take seriously.”

“Why is that? Sheltering you would be more suspicious to the crew than anything else. Unless you would like to inform them of your identity? Allow me to call them all right this instant.”

“No! No, Hongjoong, I — fine. Have it your way. Keep believing that you’ll be able to fix where Jin went wrong by ignoring the issue altogether because th—”

“That’s enough.” You bristle at the tone of the captain’s voice even though he is not speaking directly to you. “I’m still on edge as well, Hwa, and I know you are as well. I know why you are too, but please have at least a little faith in me. Now, Y/N—” Hongjoong turns back to you now “—I’d like to ask about the nightmares you had that night.”

Your initial response is to inhale sharply and glance over at Seonghwa with panic boiling in your gut.

“Why do you want to know?”

All Hongjoong does is roll his eyes and drop his feet off the side of his desk. You purse your lips at the action, watching him with wary eyes as he shifts his position to prop his elbows up on the same wood.

“Seonghwa, you’re dismissed.”

“I — Captain?”

“Dismissed, Lieutenant. I need to speak with her in private.”

“Why is it something I cannot be present for?”

“That was an order, not a suggestion. Now go.” If possible, the temperature of the room would drop ten degrees. Seonghwa seems to want to retort further but he bites his lip instead. Then, he gives a quick bow at the waist and mutters a goodbye before slipping out of the office without any further issue. “What did your nightmares consist of?” Hongjoong repeats, arching a brow as he speaks this time as though it will get you to talk faster.

“You didn’t have to get me alone to ask me that, did you? What is this really about?” The questions flow without hesitation, and your second refusal to talk about the dreams draws a sigh from Hongjoong’s lips.

“Do you know anything of Seonghwa’s relationship with his mother, Y/N?” A beat of silence. You shift your weight from foot to foot, glancing away from the captain to find interest in something on the floor.

“I… did witness a few of his memories when the two of us were still with each other in the dreams, but — if you mean to ask me about his nightmares, I have nothing to offer. I didn’t see those at all.”

“No, he already told me all about those nightmares. I don’t need to know more of them,” Hongjoong exhales with a shake of his head. He draws his arms up over his chest as he talks, falling back to slump in his chair and letting his exhaustion shine through. “Initially, I was going to have Seonghwa go with Yeosang and Jongho on this mission. But now, that plan has changed and I will be sending you instead.”

“Why?”

“I can’t send Seonghwa down to Lynder unless I myself can be at his side the entire time. There is far too much of a risk if I am unable to do that.”

“Risk? Of what? He would be with Yeosang and Jongho, would he not?”

“Yet if even the barest whim overcomes him, they would have to listen to whatever he says because of his position as lieutenant. I am the only one with more power than him, and as such, he has to listen to me. If he goes to Lynder, the risk is of him abandoning the mission to seek out his mother.”

“That doesn’t sound like something he would do at all,” you counter. Both you and Hongjoong drop your chins at the same time, although yours is more of an accusatory and pointed action compared to the slumping defeat that comes over Hongjoong’s body when he lowers his head.

“I don’t know how much or what exactly you saw in Seonghwa’s memories. I do not need to know either. But something you need to know is that we have been back to Lynder exactly once since I met Seonghwa there. And that one single time, two years ago, we had to lock Seonghwa in the brig for six days straight to keep him from breaking out to kill his mother. Seonghwa tore cuts into his arms and shoulders so deep that Yunho had to come stitch him every night until we finally chained him to a wall to get him to stop. When he finally gave up on trying to break out, I went in and took the cuffs off, only for Seonghwa to choke me hard enough to fracture my neck and leave bruises that lasted for several weeks.”

“A-Ah…” The sound of your dry swallow echoes in your ears. It’s hard to imagine Seonghwa — cool, rigid, stoic, gentle and calm Seonghwa — ever being so depraved and rabid as to harm himself as well as Hongjoong. Seonghwa, whose greatest fear is losing his captain. Yet the grave expression coating Hongjoong’s delicate features remains serious and deadpan, and you know every word is one that holds a memory that is painful to recall. He’s telling the truth.

“Have you ever had that voice in your head telling you to be cruel, Y/N?”

“Of course I have,” you admit through a whisper, like the words are going to break the threads of tension hanging in the air.

“Seonghwa has lost his will and his mind to that voice time and time again, and it gave him his reputation as the Lieutenant of Death. Mingi may be a slave to a childhood which bred him to be a monster, but Seonghwa? He’s a slave to his own consciousness, the part of him that spent years trying to be perceived as an Elitist so that he could hide what he really is, someone cold and calculated without an ounce of remorse or emotion. He put his own monsters under the bed, but now he can’t get them out.”

Hongjoong sits up a bit straighter all of a sudden. His gaze is still unfocused and hazy though, refusing to look you straight in the eye. Either subconsciously or through the fog of that revisited memory, Hongjoong lifts a hand to his neck and rubs idly at the skin there.

“My Seon—Lieutenant is strong, but strength isn’t worth a damn thing when the person you’re fighting is yourself. He admitted to me once that the thought of letting that voice win is more terrifying than the act of killing his own mother. So for that reason, I can never allow such a thing to happen. Seonghwa’s demons are nothing if not rabid dogs begging for a pound of flesh, and if he can’t fight them on his own, I’ll do it for him.”

“Y/N, are you sure you’re alright?” Jongho yet again brings you back to reality, most likely a bit disturbed by the way you are squeezing his hand tight enough to hurt, but he takes it without complaint. “You keep drifting out of focus.”

“Yes,” you say, filling your chest with air when you remember to breathe properly again. “Everything is fine.” Rather than responding with words, Jongho just places his other hand over your joined ones and brings them to rest on his thigh. If you listen closely enough, you’re able to hear him humming a soft melody under his breath but the rumble of the transport car covers most of the sound up. Still, it’s a relaxing sound that brings you some much-needed peace of mind for the remainder of the ride.

And as it turns out, Yeosang wasn’t bluffing when he said the three of you would be there soon because you had barely started listening to Jongho’s soft song when the car comes to a screeching halt that leaves you lurching forward.

“Alright then.” Yeosang stands first, hands smoothing down the fabric of his tunic even though it’s still perfectly in place. It’s not against his nature to get nervous or anxious, but it is still odd to witness like this. He is usually stoic in an unsettling way yet the grim expression he now wears is only accentuated by the crude shadows cast over his face. “It’s go time. Let’s get Wooyoung back in one piece, yeah?”

With that, the three of you climb out of the vehicle to be greeted by a dark and pristine city with thick clouds of smoke billowing through the air below you. Looking over the lip of the road is like looking down a cliff with the dramatic fall to the lower portion of the city. You weren’t exactly prepared to see such a drastic difference between the upper and lower echelons, yet looking over that cliff is like looking into a different city altogether with wooden buildings and decrepit warehouses that can barely hold themselves together. Where you stand with Yeosang and Jongho feels like a different world altogether with roads lined with lights and technology, tall buildings made from wood with exquisite carvings detailing the sides. From what you saw of the city in Seonghwa’s memories, Lynder has not changed one bit since he was here last.

You can’t clearly see many of the buildings below your feet, but it doesn’t stop you from wondering which one could possibly be that bar where Seonghwa met Hongjoong, if it even still exists. Jongho pulls you away from the road by the arm, tugging you along behind him as you approach a new building. The swaying wooden panel outside the door is a dead giveaway, but it’s the absurd amount of lilies trailing over the railings that tells you what this place is.

“They weren’t bluffing with the House of Lilies name,” you mutter, wrinkling your nose a bit at the overwhelming stench. Yeosang has grown alarmingly still; he lingers outside the tall double doors with a hand hovering over the brass handles without budging even an inch for far too long. You could pretend to not know why he’s hesitating, you could act like he is merely holding you back and push past him in annoyance, yet instead, you find yourself laying a hand atop his shoulder and squeezing the fabric there lightly. “No matter what happens in there or what we find in there, we will bring Wooyoung out alive.”

Yeosang releases a shaky exhale that makes his shoulder quake under your fingers.

“I know we will.” He looks past your face to make eye contact with Jongho then gives a curt nod. “Here goes the first fifteen minutes of hell.” The Elitist pushes hard against the brass handles, and the door gives way to his effort.

If you thought the smell outside the House was horrid, you don’t even know how to describe the reeking stench of flowers that hits you with the force of a tsunami. It’s thick enough for you to feel as though you are wading through a sea of flowers when in reality it’s just a strange yellow haze hanging about the interior. Yeosang doesn’t let the smell affect him in the slightest; he walks inside without missing a beat, shoulders pushed back so far it nearly hurts to see. Despite that, he walks like a prince, like someone who knows how to act in high society with ease, and for the first time, you don’t see Kang Yeosang before you. Instead, it’s Kang Minhee, the forgotten prince of Aera, who walks before you and heads for the front desk where a middle-aged woman with dramatic hair and hefty makeup stands.

“We should mingle a bit and look natural,” Jongho whispers when the two of you stop just inside the doors. “May I?” He motions to your arm with a small smile, not saying anything else and leaving you confused.

“May you…?”

“Quit being dense and give me your arm,” he huffs back and extends his elbow for you to loop your arm through, and this time, you get the hint, hooking your hand around the inside of his arm. Yeosang shifts to look back at both of you as you pass, and you offer each other discreet nods before he returns to speaking to the receptionist.

You let Jongho lead the way for the most part since you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to be doing outside of “looking normal”, although even doing that is somewhat difficult. Jongho doesn’t stray far from the entrance area until Yeosang dips into a hallway and out of sight without looking back at the two of you. Moments later your wristbands buzz, signaling that it’s time for the first fifteen-minute countdown to begin. Jongho shifts to fiddle with his wristband while you keep your hand folded over his elbow still. It gives you a chance to glance around the whorehouse without the distraction of having to act normal, but frankly, there isn’t much to see beyond the bodies filling the foyer and mingling about the lounge before you. There are flowers everywhere — probably an overabundance of them, and they aren’t just lilies as they were outside. You can’t pinpoint whether those flowers are the source of the clawingly sweet scent stuck to the insides of your nostrils or not, but that yellow fog seems partially responsible to some degree.

“You seem to know how to look like you belong in high society,” you mutter once Jongho pulls his attention back to your surroundings. A huff of laughter leaves his lips.

“It’s not because I grew up that way. I was merely an observant child who wanted to grow up and have more than what I had.” A smile cracks his stony expression. “Isn’t that what all children want?”

“I—”

Well, you wouldn’t really know, would you?

Jongho’s expression softens as he realizes what he’s said and who he has said it to, and his gaze turns apologetic seconds later. He turns to flag down one of the workers milling about with drinks, taking two glasses of what looks like wine in one hand. Jongho angles one of the half-full flutes in your direction. You take the hint with relative ease despite the clawing scent of flowers still muddling your thoughts.

“I didn’t mean to hit a nerve,” Jongho says through what seems to be a sympathetic smile. “What do you think your childhood was like? If you don’t mind talking about such things. We have time to kill after all.”

You draw your lips into a tight purse, curling them around the edge of the wine glass and pressing an imprint of your dark lipstick there. Subconsciously, your hand tightens around the inside of Jongho’s arm as well, although the Berserker doesn’t comment on the added pressure as he simply continues to regard you with the same steely and careful gaze.

“I think it must have been rather sad,” you admit after some thought. It must not be the answer Jongho was expecting at all because his brows draw together in confusion. “What kind of childhood must one have for them to willingly sell away their memories by fourteen? The more I think… about that time — when they gave me the serum — I recall fighting the doctors but I don’t think it was because I didn’t know what they were doing. I’m certain that I knew my memories would be taken from me. It was the act of them strapping me to a chair like a prisoner that frightened me.”

This time when Jongho smiles, all you can see is pain in his deep red eyes.

“I would have given anything in the universe to have my memories taken away at that age too, if it’s of any comfort to you.” He pauses to swirl the liquid in his glass, watching the red liquor dance before his eyes under the yellow haze around your bodies. “Don’t think you’re weak for wanting to forget that past. No child should ever deal with pains that strong, even if you can’t remember what they are.”

“People like you… San, Mingi… the whole crew honestly — how can I not view myself as weak in comparison? People who were given the choice but denied it and rejected it unlike me, who apparently didn’t want to be left with some shred of dignity. What did I become with that fresh slate they gave me? All I could do then was be weak, but it seems like that hasn’t changed one bit.”

Jongho won’t let up with that devastating smile, and you are about to turn away so that you don’t have to see it any longer when he finally lets it fall.

“For what it’s worth, you are rather strong in my eyes. During your fight with Jisung, I’ll admit that I tried to ease some of your pain then. It’s not something you know about — the others know of it by now so I should have told you sooner and I’m sorry for that but I have a special mutation in my genes that gives me the ability to take away and absorb emotional auras. I inherited it from one of my grandparents so it’s something I grew up learning how to use and I carried that over when I joined the crew. I attempted to do that with you because you were in so much distress and I was worried but — b-but your pain was too much for even me to bear. So before you go around calling yourself weak, you ought to give yourself more credit. Just because the pains you bear are different doesn’t mean that they are any less than the pains the rest of us bear.”

Jongho doesn’t say anything more than that; he slings his wine back in one shot like it’s nothing then places the now empty glass on a waiter’s tray as he’s passing by. You don’t touch your own, mulling over the glass as you fall deep in thought. If Jongho could feel that much from you, then it begs the question of what else he might be able to feel from you.

Can he sense that I’m a Siren too? Would he be able to tell that Seonghwa and Wooyoung are Sirens as well?

Your mind shifts to latch onto something else he said. Your pain was too much for even me to bear.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Stand down,” he murmurs. “You need to pick your battles, and this is not one for you to fight right now.” Again you feel that pull of warmth coming from him, like someone is trying to pull something from your chest, but it retracts almost instantaneously. Jongho falters. His eyes squeeze shut harshly, face contorting with something that almost looks like pain in your eyes, but that lasts less than a second before he’s recovered again. It’s not enough to stop the onslaught of emotions coursing through your veins.

You had been too preoccupied at the time to think about that moment until now.

“That time — did I hurt you? When you tried to take it away, did I hurt you even a little bit?”

“Nothing you did hurt me, Y/N. It wasn’t your fault, I promise you didn’t do anything. It’s something I have done time and time again for others on the crew and something I would do again as well. It’s what I’m good at, and something I was born with for a reason. If it helps even a little bit, then why would I not take the temporary pain?”

Every fiber of your being is telling you to fight those words, to tell him that it’s not worth it, your pain should not be a burden he has to bear as well, yet no words fall from your lips. Your mouth stutters uselessly without saying anything, and Jongho just keeps smiling like nothing is wrong. The clenching in your chest is not fine, however, and you force yourself to turn away from him in the hopes it will alleviate that pain. Instead, your eyes travel to a head of bright red hair that is so starkly different than anything else in the room that you have to stare right at it. It would be nothing odd or out of the ordinary to you since the crew you are now part of has such a wide array of hair colors. It would be something you look right past without much thought.

And yet you find yourself staring right at it. Right at the girl who turns to look around the lounge with red hair sweeping through the air.

You jolt.

Something hits your shoulder hard enough to tip your drink over and spill some of the red wine onto the floor. Your hand retracts from Jongho’s arm to touch the knife hidden behind the fabric of your skirt. You’re forced to pull your gaze away from the girl, finding the man who bumped into you to just be a stumbling drunk man with little sense for spatial awareness and direction. Jongho wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you a bit closer to his body. The man continues on without any regard for you or the wine he just spilled. Jongho takes your glass with his free hand, discarding it at the nearest flat surface before redirecting his focus back to you.

“It’s okay, Y/N, everything is okay.”

“I’m fine,” you murmur back, but your gaze goes straight back to where that redhead just stood.

“You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Instinct tells you to stay put and continue on with the mission, putting that familiar face to the back of your mind. But again your heart is clenching painfully in your chest, racing so fast that you feel the pounds echoing in your ears, and you know you can’t let go of her that easily. Not when she’s this close to you.

“I think I did.” You pull away from Jongho to go chasing through the crowd after that red hair, but the Berserker moves with you in a rush.

“Y/N, we can’t get off track. There’s only six minutes until it’s your turn to go to the counter.”

You wave him off with a dismissive hand rather than responding with words. Moments later, you find your target again, just as she is turning to head for the hallway that Yeosang went down not too long ago.

“Soojin?” You throw the name out as a last resort, mostly a desperate attempt to see if you are right and your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you in this heady yellow haze.

She freezes in place. It gives you just enough time to shove past the crowd and get closer to where she stands. You close your fingers around her shoulder, tugging with as little force as possible so that she turns to face you. There’s not a doubt in your mind when you see her face. She seems to recognize you as well based on the way her eyes are blown wide as saucers. The girl — well, you suppose she would be a woman by now — glances past your shoulder to look at Jongho. Her throat rolls as she swallows around nothing.

“You must have me mistaken for someone else,” Soojin whispers, bringing her gaze back down to you. She dips her head a bit then pulls away from you to head down the hall. You think back to Jisung — the threats and odd comments he made combined with the newly resurfaced memories of Hyunwoo lingering at the forefront of your mind, and you know without a shadow of a doubt that you can’t let her go this easily.

“P-Please, Soojin — I need to talk with you. It’s important, please, I have so many questions and no one else to ask.”

“I’m sure you do, little scapegoat,” she huffs back. “I actually have work to do though and a client waiting for me, so I’m not all too inclined to speak with you. I’m not sure why you came here, but I don’t think I have the answers you’re looking for either.” You don’t have a chance to keep her from leaving after that because she turns and leaves so quickly that it leaves you reeling. Jongho tugs you back by the arm, pulling you from the hallway and out into the lounge again before you can chase after her.

“What the hell was that?” He hisses under his breath.

“She — I-I knew her. She w-was my teammate, one of the p-people assigned to my unit in the military. I… I had no idea she ended up here of all places. Jongho, I have to talk to her, please, I have to. This c-could be what I need! If Jisung won’t tell me the truth, then maybe she knows something. She has to know something o-or else I—”

Your voice dies in your throat, but your unspoken desperation seems to reach Jongho nonetheless. The key to whatever memories you lost could lie in Soojin. Things happened so quickly at the end, perhaps she learned of something before leaving Eros with the others.

“She called you a scapegoat,” Jongho says. He swallows hard, Adam’s Apple bobbing with the motion. “What was that about?”

Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten that far. You didn’t even think to question that part but it is odd and not something you recall her calling you in the past.

“I’m not sure why she would say that. All the more reason to speak to her and ask. Jongho, please!” You attempt to pull away from his grip as you speak. The Berserker doesn’t budge, too strong for you to fight like this, and he doesn’t let up even when you try to slap his hand away.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He yanks you back to him and brings his free hand up to rest on your forehead. This time, you can physically feel the panic in your bones ebbing away and being pulled to your forehead where Jongho touches you. It’s a frightening sensation but the influence he has over you takes that fear away as well, leaving you in a daze of confusion because you know you should feel bothered right now but you cannot bring yourself to feel that way even as Jongho pulls away from you. His jaw twitches just a hair, not moving much beyond that, then he grits his teeth to hiss out his next words. “Wooyoung is our mission. You have to focus. You have two minutes to get up to that counter and do your job. We can try to track down your teammate later, but not on a mission like this.”

You have it in you to at least be angry enough to tug your arm out of his grasp.

“Don’t touch my emotions like that again. I understand you trying to take my pain, and as much as I hate that and despite the thought of you taking my pains for me, this is different. Emotionally sedating me for the sake of completing a mission better is different.”

You don’t give him a chance to reply before you’re heading off for the counter where Yeosang stood not too long ago. The woman who previously occupied the space behind it has disappeared, now replaced by a young man who must be younger than you from the looks of it.

“How can I help you, ma’am?” He asks as you sidle up to the desk.

“I’d like a room, an hour’s worth.” You fumble a bit with your pockets as you try to fish a credit chip out without exposing the knife strapped to your thigh, but the boy doesn’t look up until you slide the chip across the counter.

“Of course, of course,” he hums. “Do you have any preferences for pleasure tonight?”

“A male short in stature with black hair and tanned skin,” you recite back, forcing a smile onto your lips when the boy glances up at you. He tilts his head to the side. You swallow the saliva gathering in your mouth as the stare grows unsettling then he shakes his head and speaks again.

“Would you like someone more submissive or dominant?”

“Hm? Oh, um…” That wasn’t part of the plan. Surely Yeosang would have mentioned it if he had known they would ask. But what would he have said if they asked him the same? “Um, submissive is fine, I suppose?” The boy hums again then motions towards the hallway where Yeosang and Soojin both headed down.

“Your room will be on the second floor, Room 213. Please take the stairs at the end of the hall.” He passes a keycard your way along with your credit chip, leaving you with a grin and a soft-spoken, “Your courtesan will join you shortly. Enjoy.” You bristle at his words but manage to smile a little bit as you take both the card and your chip back. You leave the counter to head for the hallway, not pausing to look back at where Jongho might be, but you ping your wristband as you go. Nothing has come in from Yeosang’s side again so it’s safe to assume he doesn’t have Wooyoung with him by now. It leaves you and Jongho with more pressure and either more or less of a chance to recover him, so you can only hope for the best as you climb the stairs to the second floor.

Room 213 is empty as expected when you slip inside, and it’s free from that odd yellow fog outside as well, so you bask in the freedom and breathe fresh air deeply while you can. It’s a basic and standard room — much more like a small hotel room than anything else from the cabinet near the door and the double bed pushed up against the wall. There’s a metal sink as well close to the window but nothing else adorns the room leaving it rather dismal and simple. Not that you expected these people to treat the courtesans with even an ounce of respect; it’s still disheartening to think of Wooyoung being stuck in such a small and cramped space without a choice.

Whatever peace you thought you could have is cruelly interrupted less than five minutes later as a series of shy knocks reach your door. You blink up from where you sit perched on the edge of the neatly made bed. Is this how Yeosang felt waiting for his door to open? You inhale sharply, heart pounding mercilessly in your throat and choking you with the strength of an actual hand. And shamefully, you can’t even bring yourself to look at the door when it slides open, too afraid of not seeing Wooyoung standing behind it.

“Y-Y/N?”

You snap your head towards the door so quickly that your neck pops with the effort, eyes blinking open faster than ever, and even when your gaze settles on him, you still can’t quite believe he’s really before you. In that moment, the two of you merely regard each other with stunned stares like neither of you can believe this is possible, and in that time, the door slides shut again to leave you together in the all too small room.

“Wooyoung.” You bring yourself to your feet, standing on shaky legs as you face him. “W-Woo—”

He cuts you short by barreling into you with such force that it knocks the air out of your lungs. The metal around his neck scrapes against your skin hard enough to cut but you pay it no mind as he squeezes his arms around your waist and releases a heart-wrenching sob into your shoulder. Reason returns to you then, bringing you to ping your wristband again; although this time you tap it three times to alert the others that you have Wooyoung with you now. There is nothing more to do after that other than to hug him back as his tears soak your neck and shoulder.

“I-I didn’t — I di-didn’t want to lose hope b-but… fuck it was s-so hard not to and I was st-starting to think I wouldn’t ever s-see you again,” Wooyoung sobs. You almost want to cry with him if not for the small blinking light in the upper corner of the room that catches your eye and sends a surge of panic through you.

“The cameras, Wooyoung. They’re still on, we need to—”

“Y-Yeah, they’re — they only c-check if you hit the button by the bed.” Wooyoung pulls back from your shoulder, at last, rubbing at his tear-stricken cheeks so hard it makes his skin blossom with red. He pauses to catch his breath, or at least steady himself enough to speak without choking on his words. “That si-signals that you’re unsatisfied so they’ll c-check and see what’s — what’s wrong before sending a new courtesan.” Wooyoung puts his hand in yours and laces your fingers without hesitation. The touch seems to offer him some more comfort that helps calm his small hiccups and cries. “Is Y-Yeosang okay?”

“He’s alright, yeah,” you whisper back through a smile. “Misses you something awful, but he’s here too. He tried to get to you first, but they must have sent someone else to him. Jongho came as well. To get you. We came to get you, Wooyoung.”

Those words make Wooyoung’s eyes well up with sickening haste. He sinks to the bed before another sob forces its way out, and you sit down beside him like the mattress might collapse if you move too quickly.

“I’m so glad. So fucking g-glad. Being in a pl-place like this without Yeosang — it’s fucking hell.” Wooyoung sinks his teeth into his lower lip just to keep it from trembling.

“Have you…” Surely it’s not a question you have any right to ask, and part of you feels like Wooyoung did need your help but merely did not want to bring you to this place, even if just to watch through his eyes. Still, you swallow the nerves and force the question out. “Have they made you work yet?”

“It’s not important whether they did or not,” Wooyoung says through a weak smile, but that tells you all you need to know. It sounds too rehearsed and monotonous, like he’s been told to say this even if only by himself. “B-But what’s the plan? How are we getting out? Is someone coming to get us?”

“Um, we’re to wait the allotted time here until we get news from one of Hongjoong’s contacts here. He’s a hacker, and he’ll take care of the surveillance system so that we can open the window and get out that way. We’ll meet Yeosang and Jongho in an alleyway not too far from here after that. Then head back to the ship on a transport car.”

“Thought of everything, huh?”

“I sure hope so.”

“It should work just fine. We’re on the second floor though, so it’ll be quite the fall. Just remember to not go face-first.” Wooyoung’s smile is infectious, and you laugh along with his jest, hand squeezing around his. “How is Seonghwa doing?”

“A-Ah, I nearly forgot you knew about that. Um, he’s alright but Hongjoong didn’t think he was well enough to come on the mission with us.”

“Captain is up then? Yeosang mentioned he’d been out for quite some time because of his injuries. That’s great news that he’s up! I — he’ll be happy to hear that I have some info about where Mingi and San are being held too. I can tell him when we’re back on the ship. B-But Seonghwa is okay otherwise?”

“Yunho said there’s no lingering signs of health issues so he’ll be okay physically. I… I have so many questions that I don’t even know where to begin.” Wooyoung’s smile stretches a bit wider.

“I assumed you would. That’s okay though; we have a full hour to use anyways, so you can ask me anything while we have the time to be alone together. I would say we could do it later when we’re back on the ship but Yeosang probably won’t let me out of his sight for even two seconds from now on. It’d be best for us to get it all out now so we don’t have to hear him scribbling in that damn notebook of his.” Wooyoung can’t hide his elation despite the teasing words, and you know that getting to see Yeosang again soon means more to him than you could ever understand. Yeosang must be feeling the same way himself, waiting out this hour with painstaking patience.

“What happened in the days you didn’t let me in? You went quiet for so long I was getting worried.”

“Ah, we shouldn’t start there,” Wooyoung murmurs, glancing down at the floor. He pauses. The breath of hesitation leaves your stomach in knots. “Nothing you want to hear, I promise. That’s why I didn’t try to bring you in. It wasn’t anything pretty, but I assure you there was nothing they could do to hurt me physically. I’m too far gone for that sort of torture. It’s… over and done with now. More scars to add to my collection, and more for Yeosang to cry over probably. We’ll both be fine. You’re probably wondering about the whole connection thing and us both being Sirens and such, right?”

“I — admittedly yes, but looking back now it seems almost obvious? I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner, I guess. But yeah, specifically that connection or whatever it is. Yeosang said he didn’t know much at all about it.”

“Right, yeah, I don’t know much myself either, to be honest.” Wooyoung presses his lips into a pout. “It’s hard to say what exactly it is. Seonghwa’s books don’t really have anything about this sort of occurrence, but what I’ve gathered from it so far is probably all that Yeosang told you. ‘There’s no place in the universe that you can hide from each other’. Daichi told me that once.”

“He told me the same actually.”

“Mhm, I think he knows a bit more about it than he claims to. For me, I can almost hear you in my head when you’re in distress, even when you’re far away. Except it doesn’t sound like you’re scared or anything like that. It almost sounds as though you’re softly singing to me? Like… I’m on a boat with gentle waves and you’re singing to me through the water. When I’m asleep and dreaming and you reach out to me for help, I can close my eyes and find myself on a boat like that. A white boat on a black lake. And I hear you singing to me in the water, look down, and see a tiny flickering light through the darkness. For years I’ve had that dream.”

“Yeosang… he talked about you having such a dream. Swimming in a black lake and trying to reach someone but not being able to?”

“Yeah! Um, I’ve woken him up so much because of that very dream. I would have that dream time and time again before you joined the crew, desperately swimming to reach you but it was like something was blocking me from getting to you. Like I could never reach you no matter how fast I was. I would never be able to get in. Then suddenly — one night I did, and I woke up in a box of fabrics in the cargo bay.” Wooyoung shifts to look you in the eye, a weak laugh slipping through his lips. “That feels so long ago now.”

“I’ve been wondering how to thank you for that,” you murmur. “If not for that moment, I would have died.” The skin around your nails suddenly seems a lot more interesting, and you busy yourself with picking at it mindlessly rather than looking back in Wooyoung’s direction. He doesn’t let your hand drift far from his though before he’s tugging it right back into his grasp. His other hand finds its way atop yours as well, holding your joined ones together tightly.

“I didn’t do it to get a thank you. It was just… the right thing to do. It’s sad that we live in such a bad and awful society where you feel the need to thank me for doing something as simple as that.”

“Did you not thank Yeosang for saving his life once upon a time?” You dare to ask. Wooyoung is a bit startled at first, caught off-guard by both your sudden question and the content behind it, but he laughs loud and clear without restraint.

“For someone who claims to hate talking about his life, he sure does talk a lot, doesn’t he?” Wooyoung brushes his bang out of his eyes, pushing the strands that have quickly grown unruly and long to the side. “Yeosang never lets me thank him. Any time I’ve tried, he shut me down before I could finish. Honestly, he saved my life twice. Once when he chose me from that lineup of slaves and spared me a crueler fate, and once when he broke those chains and set me free.”

Chose… me…? Then it wasn’t Yeosang’s mother who picked Wooyoung out for him?

You don’t get to dwell on that thought for long because Wooyoung simply continues to ramble, more and more peace coming to his shoulders as he calms down further.

“Yeosang only ever thanks me. As odd as that is.”

“Did you — have you ever saved his life then?” You already know the answer to that question, but it’s already hanging in the air between you by the time you catch yourself.

“Yes.” Wooyoung is beaming by now, lips stretched wide as he grins. “I got him out of prison when they charged him with treason.”

“And that’s what he thanks you for?”

Wooyoung’s smile doesn’t falter even as he shakes his head in denial.

“He never claims to have saved me, not even once. Instead, Yeosang says that I saved him.”

“B-But why? Objectively he did save you, so why does he not acknowledge that?”

“Because, Y/N, there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Yeosang and I loved each other for many years before. But just loving each other wasn’t enough for Crown Prince Kang Minhee to break my chains and commit treason. When ”I love you“ turns into ”I am in love with you“ and ”I am in love with the mere idea of you“, then Yeosang set me free. Even though I would never have asked him to do it, he chose to on his own accord. So he thanks me and says that I saved him because of that. Because I trusted him enough to put my life in his hands time and time again and let him fall in love with me. He claims it to be a difficult thing — allowing an Elitist to fall in love with you. But with Yeosang… he has only ever made it easy. There are times where it is difficult and frustrating, where I wish that he could be anything other than an Elitist, for fuck’s sake, times when I would rather break his neck in an absolutely non-sexy kind of way, but that’s part of love and loving someone. That’s why he’s grateful to me. It sounds selfish and egotistical to say, but after having him repeat himself for so many years, I’ve grown to accept that even if I don’t believe I deserve it.” Wooyoung speaks with a raw conviction that you’ve heard before. It’s the same tone Hongjoong used when speaking to Seonghwa in the medbay, the same tone Yeosang used when talking about Wooyoung and their past together.

Even if you wanted to formulate a response, you don’t think you would be able to because of how overwhelming the emotion in Wooyoung’s voice is. He’s had every opportunity to blame Yeosang for the misfortune in his life, claim that if only Yeosang hadn’t picked him from the start he would be better off, claim that Yeosang got him out of being a slave only to put him in a more dangerous position. Wooyoung could even blame Yeosang for not protecting him well enough to keep him from being kidnapped and tortured.

Yet not once has Wooyoung blamed him.

Perhaps you were being unfair in pushing the blame onto Seonghwa’s shoulders when he didn’t fight your decision to go with Jisung. Is it so wrong to want someone to fight for you? Yet Yeosang has fought every day for Wooyoung and continues to do so. Wooyoung, who has been through hell and tortures he does not wish to speak about, asked about Yeosang’s well-being before anything else. Yet if they were in your position — if Wooyoung were the one agreeing to go with Jisung to save the others, would Yeosang not drop everything to fight for him?

Your mind screams back at you, telling you that it’s different, the situations aren’t the same, the relationships aren’t the same, and you cannot compare yourself to people like Wooyoung and Yeosang who have had years to figure this out. And so, you don’t compare yourself to them.

Rather you compare Seonghwa and Hongjoong to them. How Seonghwa’s worst nightmare is not being able to save Hongjoong from himself. The sheer will and determination in Hongjoong’s eyes when he said he would never let Seonghwa’s demons overtake him. You can’t help but wonder if perhaps that is similar to what Wooyoung and Yeosang have. Neither are anything remotely close to what you have — had, your mind suggests ever so helpfully — with Seonghwa yourself.

“It may be selfish, but I don’t want you to push me away. I would rather be hurt and still have you in my life rather than to be perfectly fine without you.”

That memory slips through unannounced and unasked for, and the mere prospect of why it’s coming back to you while you’re having such thoughts scares you so much that you slam the door in that memory’s face and throw away the key before it breaks loose.

“But anyway that’s — I rambled a bit too much, that’s not the point, um, have you ever had similar dreams like those? The ones I had, I mean? Before waking up in my body or before you came to the crew, any time you can remember. I know you haven’t had much opportunity yet, but you’ve had a few experiences by now.”

“I can’t recall ever having those sorts of dreams. That dream you mentioned about the lake — I had a dream that I was drowning in a black lake the night you came to save Seonghwa, but when I wake up in your body, it’s simply that. All I know is falling asleep and waking up like a passenger in your consciousness. I don’t have any control like you’ve had over my body.” Wooyoung’s eyes are oh so expectant and pleading, and it twists something painful in your gut. You want so badly to have information for him, to be able to give him answers or even a hint as to what could be going on, but frankly, you have nothing to offer. “I’m sorry, Wooyoung. I-I feel utterly useless in this whole situation. I d-don’t know what’s wrong with me or my head, I just can’t remember at all and I don’t… You and Seonghwa seem to have this whole Siren thing figured out, how it works, what sort of abilities you have, how to use them. I, on the other hand, have so many gaps and missing pieces in my memories. I’ve had one or two moments where I consciously used some sort of ability, then Seonghwa tried to help me learn, but other than that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“It’s okay!” Wooyoung rushes to reassure you, squeezing his hand tight around yours as he smiles again. “Y/N, please don’t worry about that. I don’t expect you to have an answer right now, it’s really okay. We’re gonna figure this out together now that you finally know what I am and we’ll be back on the ship soon. And I can help you understand more about being a Siren in general too! If we can get to the Dreamscape together, maybe Daichi will be willing to talk.”

“Last time I was there, he tried to kill me and told me that if I kept asking questions he would end my life,” you snort. Wooyoung’s smile drops into a grave expression that doesn’t fit his features.

“In the beginning — when I first started seeing Daichi, that is — he wasn’t like that. He wanted me to find other Sirens. That’s what ultimately made Yeosang choose Captain’s crew because Daichi had told me there was a Siren there. Then as more time went on, Daichi seemed to get more and more frightened by the idea of Sirens finding each other. He started telling me that someone dangerous would find me, someone I should guard myself from.”

“He warned me of the same when I first came aboard. But Seonghwa mentioned how Daichi’s job is to guide Sirens to each other?”

“That’s true, yes, but Daichi seems to have changed his mind along the way. I can’t understand why, but I’m sure it will make it a lot more difficult to find two more for Captain.” Your conversation dies a bit there, leaving both you and Wooyoung to stew over the predicament. According to Daichi, you spent years denying your identity and refusing to listen to him, so you never made an effort to find any Sirens like both Wooyoung and Seonghwa have been apparently. Still, it leaves you more curious than before, especially given what all happened in your latest escapade in the Dreamscape.

“Tsukio can find you anywhere, even while far away! This mental connection you share, this link — the two of you are a dyad, a yin and a yang, a pair that cannot be severed. No matter how far apart you are, the two of you will always be able to come back to each other.”

“Did he ever tell you that we will always be able to come back to each other?”

“Come… back to each other? No, I’ve never heard him say such a thing before.”

“I remember seeing you in a dream before, not the Dreamscape but an actual dream. But that dream felt more like a memory, and I asked you about it once in the medbay. I know you told me no then, but does it have anything to do with what Daichi said possibly?”

“Hm, I suppose it could?” Wooyoung leans back and looks up at the ceiling. You can’t figure out what’s on his mind just through his expression, and what he says next doesn’t help much either. “But I don’t have any sort of memory like that.”

“You — you were wiped with a serum too, weren’t you?”

“Did Yeosang tell you that as well?” Wooyoung asks through a frown. “Did he mention how guilty he feels about that too? Probably, that would be very much like him to do so. Guilty for things that aren’t even his fault… but yes. Yes, my memories were wiped too.”

“I have another question. I’m sorry for asking so much all at once. Yeosang never gave me a clear answer though, so I’m still curious, but why haven’t you told Hongjoong about this?” Wooyoung doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he sinks his teeth into his lower lip and refuses to look your way for a bit. The silence drags but it’s nothing uncomfortable or unsettling. It isn’t like you’re on a time crunch right now either, so you’re more than willing to wait until he is ready to speak.

“It’s something stupid and selfish honestly,” he whispers after a bit. His other hand finds purchase on the bed, picking at a loose thread hanging off the sheets. “I didn’t expect Yeosang to take it so seriously, but now he’s adamant even when I try to tell him otherwise. Really it’s just that when I was still a slave, I didn’t always have to wear the collar. It dampened and muted my abilities so I couldn’t use them freely. Shocked me a lot too whenever I foolishly tried to use them without permission, leaving some really ugly and awful scars. Yeosang always treated the wounds when that would happen.”

His hand travels up to touch the band of metal hanging about his neck. You follow the movement with your eyes. You can’t miss the spreading scars underneath the metal as he shifts it, like little lightning bolts of pale skin hiding beneath it, and you wonder if that’s what you felt the first time you woke up in his body.

“I have a lot of scars from lots of different things. It shouldn’t be any different, and it shouldn’t even matter because it’s stupid and childish and I need to get over it. Even though the collar is dead and doesn’t work, like it doesn’t mute my abilities anymore or anything like that, just the idea of having it on keeps me sane. Being a Siren is both a blessing and a curse. Some abilities you’re born with are crueler than imaginable and can be used to do horrific things. The things I was forced to do with mine are not something I ever want to revisit again. So… I keep the collar on because the trauma I suffered while wearing it for so many years keeps me sane. Merely the idea of wearing it prevents me from using my abilities because I was conditioned into a state where if I tried doing anything while the collar was on, I would be hurt. When it comes to visiting you, it’s different because I’m asleep when that happens. And whenever people other than Yeosang or myself try to touch it, I get thrown back into the memories of his father taking it off me to use me as a weapon and I-I can’t — it’s too much to bear.

“I trust Hongjoong. I really trust him and admire him and respect him so much. As much as I do Yeosang even if it’s in a different way. But I have an innate fear of authority that tells me no matter who it is, the people who have power over me will abuse it. That if anyone above me knows I’m a Siren, I’ll be used again, and I’m afraid of that. So it’s not that I don’t want to tell Hongjoong. Just that as long as I have this collar on and as long as these demons linger at the edge of my mind, I don’t think I can ever tell him what I am.”

You want to express an apology for bringing those memories back or at least offer an ounce of consolation because you can almost feel the pain radiating off his body in waves. But the moment you reach out to pull him into a hug, the door to your room slides open out of nowhere. You jerk, and Wooyoung lifts an arm to protect the both of you, but you take the initiative in pushing him down to the bed. In one swift movement, you climb in front of him, one knee down on the mattress and the other stretched out in front of Wooyoung’s body. The blade against your thigh is cool on your fingertips, but you don’t pull it out quite yet. The flash of red hair before you stops you at the last second.

Soojin?

The girl is already halfway in the room, door sliding shut behind her, and the second it’s fully closed, she turns to twist the lock into place.

“W-Wait, we’re n-not supposed to lock the doors!” Wooyoung protests, leaning up over your shoulder to see better. Soojin levels him with a sharp glare. You reach behind you to push Wooyoung back enough so that he’s hidden behind your shoulder, matching Soojin’s stare with equal intensity. The girl steps closer to you, draws a single finger up, and stabs you hard in the chest with her dull nail.

“You and me need to have a chat after all it seems.”

“What do you mean?” You clench your fingers around the handle of your knife, still not completely at ease with the woman standing in front of you.

“What do I mean? I mean that my fucking client downstairs just tried to fucking murder me and gave me a message from Han Jisung of all people! Seeing you and hearing from that bastard on the same day after being free from that past for several years? That’s no fucking coincidence, Y/N.”

“Murder!? How did you — how did you get away?”

A laugh of disbelief escapes Soojin’s lips as she pulls back a few feet.

“I killed him, of course! What else was I supposed to do? I dumped the fucker’s body out the window for staff to clean up later. This sort of thing happens frequently enough for them not to question it, and besides, I told them it was a jealous worker so they won’t really care all too much about him. But what the fuck is going on? Why are you here and why did Han Jisung just tell me my time is up and try to have me killed?”

“I… I-I don’t — I’m not with Jisung, I know nothing about that at all. He—” You cut yourself short with a sharp inhale, eyes darting across the floor like it has all the answers in it. “Wait, he knew I would be coming here though. Did he know that you worked here?”

“Unfortunately, not by choice though. We ran across each other around a year ago in the city, and I mentioned working at the House in passing.”

You shift to motion back at Wooyoung and pull your hand off the knife on your leg at last.

“He was brought here against his will by Jisung. Well, whoever Jisung is working with at least. I only came to get him out. We’re — he’s part of the crew I’m working with now. Jisung knew where he would be and that I would come to get him.”

“And he’s still a psychopath when it comes to you then?” Soojin scoffs, brows knitting together to accentuate her disbelief. “He tried to have me killed just so that I would stay out of your business?”

“I don’t know, Soojin,” you exhale. “It doesn’t make any sense why he would do that. I already made a deal with him and he’ll get to take me regardless of what happens here.”

“T-Take you?” Wooyoung interjects. “Take you where?” His hand latches around your elbow and squeezes hard. You ignore the man in favor of maintaining your focus on Soojin, however, much to his dismay.

“Unless you know something Jisung wouldn’t want me to know and he couldn’t even risk the thought of us running into each other and speaking.” At that, Soojin tilts her head to the side in confusion.

“What could I possibly know that you don’t?”

“What happened before you left the crew?” Her confusion intensifies to a dramatic degree.

“Have you gone mad? Do you not remember or something? You were always a bit bad with memory, yeah, but has it gotten this bad?”

“Please, Soojin, I’m begging you please just tell me what happened before the crew fell apart. I know you called me a scapegoat for a reason, please.” You reach out across the empty space between your bodies, having to stand to reach her, but when you do, you close a hand around her wrist. Soojin blinks between where you hold her and your face without speaking for so long that you think she’s going to refuse you again.

“I called you a scapegoat because I thought you were in on Jisung’s plan at the time,” she says finally, pulling her other hand up to run through her hair. “You would’ve done anything for him so I thought that was just another part of it.”

“What did I do?”

“I should be asking what you remember happening instead.”

“What I remember is stealing documents and plotting to dismantle the military from the inside out with you guys but I fucked up. I know I fucked up and got caught and Hyunwoo took the blame for me and it got him fucking executed.” Soojin leans back, hand tugging out of your light grip.

“I know nothing of what happened after Ash, Juyeon, and I left Eros. But before we left…” It’s her turn to hold you by the wrist. She turns your arm over and exposes the inside of your left arm, right where that damned brand sits against your raised skin. “You didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t your burden to bear. You were the scapegoat, and that’s why the team fell apart, that’s why we all broke up and ran away. You didn’t plan to steal anything, nor did you plot a thing. Neither did Hyunwoo. It was all Jisung; Jisung wanted to dismantle the military and kill the king. When Juyeon, Ash, and I found out what he was planning to do, we brought it to Hyunwoo. All Hyunwoo said was that stopping Jisung wasn’t something he could do. So he told us to leave while we still had the chance and that he would take care of things. He would take the blame so that no one else would have to get hurt. But you didn’t want him to do that, so you ran off and carried out Jisung’s plan for him.”

“Which part? Did I k-kill the king… before Hyunwoo died?”

Soojin heaves a deep sigh.

“The last night we were all together as a team, you snuck out of the barracks and infiltrated the palace. You stole the documents Jisung wanted — whatever the fuck they were because I don’t even know why he wanted them in the first place if he was going to kill the king anyways — and you killed the king that night too. Everything went to shit. It all happened too fast for the rest of us to know what was really going on. You just came back to the barracks and turned the lights on and…”

You don’t realize how hard your head is pounding until the woman trails off, voice dying in her throat, and then it hits you will so much force that you feel your body beginning to lurch. You would fall over, most likely smack your head on the sink as well, if not for Wooyoung jumping up and catching you by the waist before you can fully go down. And thanks to him, all you do is hunch over and hold your head in your hands as a stab of pain sears through your skull.

“Breathe, Y/N, breathe for me,” he urges as you slump your weight back against him. “You need to breathe, okay? You’re hyperventilating. One breath every five seconds, slow it down, you’re okay.”

“Th-There was blood. There was blood, wasn’t there?” Looking at Soojin fills your vision with pure crimson, but it’s not because of her hair this time.

“Yes,” she whispers back, not daring to speak any louder than that. “You were… drenched in blood that wasn’t yours. And we were so scared you had been hurt somehow. I carried you to the bath and cleaned you but you didn’t have a single scratch on you.”

“O-Oh god,” you choke out. The red in your vision turns coppery as a different image takes over and a new memory swarms your head.

“What the fuck did you do!?”

Hands squeezing hard around your throat, shoving you under bloody waters.

“Let her go!”

“You ruined everything! How could you do this? Why are you so fucking useless? I told you to sit still and not do anything!”

The water spread to your nostrils and forced its way in as you struggled to find air.

“Jisung, release her right this instant!”

The hands around your throat just grew tighter.

Wooyoung eases you down to the floor when the rest of your strength leaves you. He keeps a hand at your waist, using the other to hold your head to his chest in a desperate attempt to control the wild tremors shooting through your body. You keep a hand pressed to your throbbing temple but it does nothing to alleviate the pain you’re in, one that feels as though something is trying to rip your head in half with their bare hands.

“C-Can’t remember more. I can’t, I do-don’t want to remember anymore, I — it hurts. It hurts too much, it hurts so much.”

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to remember anymore, okay? You’re good, you’re done, no more. No more.” Even through the pain, you can’t miss the desperation in Wooyoung’s tone. His hand moves for your arm where your wristband sits, buzzing uselessly against your skin. “Y/N, what does this mean? Is something happening?”

You want to answer, You even open your mouth to do so. Yet the moment you do, the taste of that metallic soapy water fills your mouth and you choke on air.

“Y/N, please, what does it mean? Are we in trouble?” You think you shake your head but the panic in Wooyoung’s eyes isn’t reassuring and you aren’t sure you have any hold over the muscles in your body right now. “Please, do you know where our friend is?” He asks, directing his focus to where Soojin kneels in front of you.

“The brunette?”

“Brunette? No, no, I’m talking a blond?”

“J-Jongho,” you force out, gritting your teeth until your jaw hurts from the force. “Jongho… here too.”

“I saw that name on the register,” Soojin cuts in. “I checked it to find what room you were in and saw his name further down on the list.”

“Please get him and bring him. Please, I know you — we just need your help right now, please,” Wooyoung begs. His grip on your waist tightens a little as Soojin hesitates, and it doesn’t let up until the girl nods and leaves the room in haste. Wooyoung brings you back to his chest once she’s gone, matching your shaky breaths as he gently rocks you back and forth. “I can’t… know your memories or the pain you’re feeling right now, but I know what it’s like to suddenly be hit with memories you forgot you had. Ones that were suppressed behind an iron wall. I know what it’s like to have it slip out and hit you.”

“It fucking hurts.” You clench your jaw again, feeling a burn of pain up the side of your face with the movement. “Like someone is stabbing my b-brain with a da-damn icepick.”

“Are the memories painful?”

“I d-don’t know. I can hardly think straight. My head hurts. That’s all I can think about.”

“The serum… I’m assuming it’s the same one I was given back then. It can’t take away memories. Yeah, they tell you that it’s a wipe, but that’s only because they don’t want you trying to find those old memories. It can’t remove parts of the brain like that. They just use it to lock away memories but there’s no guarantee of it being permanent, so when you do remember something they tried to lock away, it hurts.”

“D-Does it hurt you like this too?”

“Yes, but I’m — pain isn’t something that bothers me all too much, and I’m lucky enough to have Yeosang nearby when it happens. I’ve got a prescription for the pain from Yunho too. We can… we can get you something long-term back on the ship.”

Another stab of pain hits as the door slides open, metal grating hard on your ears, but this time Jongho stands with Soojin. He rushes over to join you and Wooyoung on the floor in a panic, obviously torn between being excited to see Wooyoung again and your current crumpled state.

“Yeosang’s hour is up and he’s waiting at the meeting point. Captain hasn’t buzzed in on the contact yet.” Jongho reaches down to lay a hand against your forehead. You’re quick enough to turn your face further into Wooyoung’s shirt, inhaling the sickening floral scent that clings to his skin.

“Don’t even think about trying to take it away,” you hiss.

“I can’t take physical pain, don’t worry. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Here, something for the pain.” Soojin interrupts the moment to lean over you with a cup of unknown contents. “Fast-acting pain reliever. Every room has some in it just in case patrons get too out of hand. We keep it in the cabinets, I promise it’s nothing bad. It’ll numb you and make you a bit sluggish for a while, but it’ll also take the pain away.”

“Thank you,” Wooyoung murmurs as he takes the cup from her hands. He helps bring the cup to your lips, pushing some of the murky grey liquid inside into your mouth, and you struggle not to gag around the taste of it. He doesn’t stop until the entirety of its contents are drained into your mouth then tilts your head back to keep it down when some threatens to drip out the corners of your lips. An unknown hand comes down on your knee.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Soojin. “I didn’t mean to hurt you with this information.” You swallow hard only to choke a second later on the putrid aftertaste clinging to your tongue. Wooyoung lets you cough into his shoulder without complaint, passing the now empty cup back to Soojin.

“You couldn’t have known,” you murmur after escaping the coughing fit. “It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t know what they would do to you after we left the planet,” she sighs through the quiet of the room. “I should have expected it honestly, knowing Jisung, but maybe I hoped he would be better than that. He always manipulated you so it only makes sense that he would try to manipulate your memories too. Do you at least know what happened a little bit better now?”

“Y-Yeah, yeah.” You try to pull away from Wooyoung and get up but his grip on you doesn’t let up. “My memories were taken away for a second time and replaced with something else. So instead of only losing fourteen years of my life, I lost eighteen and spent the last three years believing those manipulated memories to be real. I’m peachy.”

Another buzz from your wristband pulls your attention away, and Jongho glances down at his own too.

“Cameras are down.”

“Let’s go then,” you mutter.

“Are you okay to move? Don’t push it if you’re not strong enough.”

“We need to go now while we still can,” you protect, letting Wooyoung help you to your feet even if it’s on shaky legs. Jongho gives a curt nod then heads for the window, no doubt to pry it open. Soojin catches you by the arm before you can fully turn away.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Even if you can’t remember all of it, there are still things I regret saying and doing to you. I should have known back then how much Jisung was manipulating you and not pushed so much blame onto your shoulders.”

“You can get out now with us, Soojin. While you have the chance.”

“And do what with that freedom?” She huffs out a dry and lifeless laugh. “Wander aimlessly? Ash and Juyeon are both missing in action. I have no clues or leads on where they might be or if they’re even alive. I don’t have anything left out there beyond the House.”

“I… if I hear anything out there about them, I promise I’ll send you a message. I’ll find a way to get news to you, maybe through my captain’s contact or something. I swear if I can help you get out of this hellhole I will.”

Soojin reaches up to ruffle her hand through your hair, mussing the loose locks more.

“You always were a good kid, Y/N. Too good for the life you were forced to live.” It hurts to watch her smile. It hurts even more to let Wooyoung guide you to where Jongho waits by the now open window. “Go while you can, you three. The medicine will wear off in a few hours, but hopefully, you’ll have access to something better by then. I’ll make sure you get out safely.”

Jongho dips through the open space first, hopping down to the pristine streets below with little issue.

“Send Y/N down next!”

You can’t tear your gaze off Soojin. You don’t know when you might see her again or if you even will, and it hurts to leave her behind like this but she just keeps smiling at you with bright eyes and blinding hair.

“T-Thank you, Soojin. Please stay safe, if you can.”

“Always.”

With that, Wooyoung hoists you over the ledge of the window and dangles you far enough down so that your fall is softened a bit. Jongho catches you by the legs, taking the brunt of your weight before you hit the ground. Wooyoung drops down beside you without warning a second later. As Jongho eases you down, you dare to glance up at the window you just left from, and it shuts slowly without a sign from Soojin inside.

Wooyoung rushes back to your side and loops an arm back around your waist when you start to slump forward again.

“That’s — that’ll look too suspicious,” you mutter, pulling his arm back to his own side.

“We just dropped out a fucking window. I’m sure that would look more suspicious.”

“I’ll be okay.”

Yet two steps later, you’re stumbling over your heels and Jongho comes to your rescue this time. He tugs your arm through his own as he walks forward without saying a word. You can only lean your weight on him and slump your chin against his shoulder.

“Thank you…”

Silence drapes over the three of you as you make your way to the meeting point with Yeosang. You aren’t in as much pain as you were earlier (Soojin wasn’t bluffing when she said fast-acting) but the medicine is already making you a bit groggy. It feels a bit like you’re wading through sludge just trying to walk a few steps, and frankly, Jongho is the only thing keeping you going at this point. Wooyoung lingers at your other side. Every once in a while, you feel his worried gaze find its way to your form. He might even be speaking to you at some point because you hear something that sounds vaguely like his voice through the radio static in your ears, but there is far too much on your mind and too much to think about right now for you to pay any attention to that.

If… if I killed the king before Hyunwoo’s execution, then who did I kill that night? Did I kill anyone at all? Was that memory fabricated? What have I been working towards all these years if that’s a lie?

Funny how your search for answers only left you with more questions instead. There are too many questions to keep track of and not remotely enough answers to them. You know you won’t be able to have those answers yet either, not while San and Mingi are still missing and Jisung is bothering you. Where would you even look for answers now? Jisung would never tell you a thing, Hyunwoo is dead and gone, and now you’re leaving Soojin behind.

The one thing that reaches your brain through the static in your ears is a dry and choked sob. You pull yourself out of your thoughts as Wooyoung disappears from your side. It doesn’t take much to guess why. You’ve reached the meeting point, the all too small alleyway where Yeosang waits for you three, and Wooyoung is running straight to him with reckless abandon.

“Y-Yeosang, angel, Yeosang, my god I’m—” Wooyoung’s voice dies in a cracked sob when he reaches the Elitist. His hands barely brush the man’s shoulders because Yeosang drops to his knees in front of Wooyoung, face hidden but no doubt bearing tears, and he balls his fists around the flimsy material of Wooyoung’s pants. He presses his forehead to Wooyoung’s hip, hands traveling further up to press against the small of his back. Wooyoung can only card a hand through Yeosang’s hair in response, but it’s enough for now. It’s enough for both of them like this, with Yeosang’s knuckles white from the pressure of clinging to Wooyoung, and you and Jongho maintain your distance as best you can to give them this moment.

“Are they happy?” You whisper to Jongho even though the answer is blindingly obvious before you. The Berserker’s lips twist into a small grin.

“I don’t think there’s a word strong enough to describe how they’re feeling right now.”

Yeosang pulls his head off Wooyoung’s hip and stares up at the man with tears on his cheeks and stars in his eyes. Wooyoung dips down to the Elitist’s height, pulling his face up to his own and slotting their lips together like nothing else in the universe exists around them. Again, it’s raw, as all emotions between these two seem to be, but it belongs to them and it’s something you can’t take away from them. When they part lips to gulp in desperate breaths of fresh air, Wooyoung places his forehead over Yeosang’s and takes the breath from his lungs like that. They don’t exchange words but there doesn’t seem to be a need for words either, not until Yeosang seems to catch hold of himself and come back to his senses.

“The car is waiting for us at the other end of the alley. Driver’s already pulled up.” Jongho nods when the Elitist drags his gaze over to where the two of you stand. Yeosang lets Wooyoung pull him back into space after that, unable to contain a smile as the Siren continues to press more kisses to his cheeks. You and Jongho trail behind them to the other end of the alleyway. Seeing them together like this makes it worth it. You knew it would and you were striving to bring them this moment, but seeing it unfold before you like this increases that feeling tenfold.

Once in the car, Yeosang sits Wooyoung down in one of the cushioned seats then drops to the floor between his legs even when Wooyoung protests and tells him to get up.

“Stop, that’s weird! It looks weird, Yeo, please! It looks like you’re trying to su—”

“Shut up,” Yeosang mumbles back as he drops his head to rest against Wooyoung’s thigh. “You’re the one who makes everything dirty. Get your head out of the gutter.”

Wooyoung obviously doesn’t mind all too much because he returns to toying with the Elitist’s blond locks moments later as you and Jongho settle into the seats beside the pair. And from where you’re sitting, they really do look like young boys again, more than just a former slave and ex-prince but also less than that. Just… boys who fell in love despite the odds set against them.

“I’m sorry, Woo, I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, angel, I know. It’s okay. We’re okay.”

You tune out of the conversation there. It’s far too intimate and personal for you to encroach on, and the medicine has you falling asleep in your seat anyways. Jongho seems to pick up on that, reaching over to pat your leg.

“Rest while you can.”

A hum comes as your reply as you slump to the side, head hitting the side of the car with a loud thud. Jongho exhales a quiet laugh and pulls you over to rest against his shoulder instead.

“’m sorry for snapping at you,” you murmur. You’re forcing your eyes to stay open long enough to get the apology out but it’s growing more difficult by the second. “I didn’t mean to, I was afraid… of her slipping out of my grasp but… that’s no excuse.”

Your fluttering eyes snap wide open when something presses down hard on your nose. You blink uselessly at Jongho and the finger he hovers over your face.

“Stop talking nonsense, yeah? Rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re not?”

“Hm, no, I’m not.”

“Promise.”

“I promise I’m staying right here.”

“And we’ll get San back?” You mumble just before the drowsiness wins.

“We’ll get your San back too, I promise.”

✧✧✧ a/n: yall imma be honest this chapter feels like a whole fever dream and a half but i love it nonetheless she’s my Baby i hope you guys love her just as much and enjoy her <3 lots happened but also not a lot happened? i feel like the wc is so dramatic for Not A Lot but yaknow that’s life ! next chapter we’re getting juicy and bringing a part 16 move back bc teehee that’s what i do best u know me anywho let me know what u think as always i love u all im so happy to bring u guys this chapter and so excited for the coming ones!

taglist: @faeriewoobin @sugarrimajins @atinyinwonderland @sparklychangbin @jeong-uwu @jeonartemis @anothershorthuman @xxbluestrifexx @haotheheckk @noonawriter @lostscenarios @nlost21 @mirror-juliet @okokokok123-45 @purple-aeon @theoinkypiglet @toothlessshiber @atinyarmyx1 @simpforhyunjin @hwangwoosan @vampire-jimin @softyubi @drumboydowoon @chatsgotmytongue @just-a-starfruit @babydolljo @scintillating-souls @khjssss @rawrrainn @hewwo-from-the-other-side @icekdy @eggteez @bangtanxberm @uglychildd @lucymultistan

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