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weirdmarioenemies · 10 months

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I am going to rank all of the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me

That's right! I'm ranking all of them! All ninety-one of these things! Hi, I'm Mod Hooligon, and you may recognize me as "the mod that posted about Super Paper Mario a lot", but did you know? The Super Mario Galaxy games are maybe my actual favorite Mario games! In fact, I've never even beaten Super Paper Mario! I'm a fraud! But I'm a cute fraud, right?

But I'm not a fraud when it comes to Super Mario Galaxy, because I've 100%'d both games, and have replayed them multiple times over! And when you play some games that much, you start to have opinions. And then you want to subject everyone else to your opinions! So that's what I'm gonna do.

This is gonna be a little Weirdmarioenemies mini-series I run outside of our usual posting schedule, so expect a new part of this list every Sunday, until there's no Galaxies left to cover. Today we'll be tackling all the low-tier Galaxies, because there's not enough of them to warrant making three separate posts for F-tier, D-tier, and C-tier.

Got that? Good. Rankings start under the cut!

91. Sling Pod Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Well, something had to be the worst. If you are an ardent Sling Pod Galaxy fan, I am so, so sorry. Let it be known that you are entitled to your own opinion, and that I understand.

But I'm also entitled to my own opinion and my opinion is that Sling Pod Galaxy is Not Very Good! Really, not a lot of the Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game are, we're gonna be covering most of them in this post...

The Sling Pods aren't an awful gimmick in and of themselves, it can be fun to slingshot Mario around, and they're used to great effect in the Tarantox boss fight! But I feel like they can be a bit imprecise, and nowhere does that show more than in Sling Pod Galaxy, where you're required to fling Mario from Sling Pod to Sling Pod with precise timing, and not a lot of wiggle room.

If your aim or timing is just slightly off (and let's face it, it uses motion controls, so it's probably going to be) then you're gonna sling Mario right into the void. There's a cool concept here, but at the end of the day, I'll always find Sling Pod Galaxy more frustrating than fun.

And besides that, it's just not very thematically interesting! It's kinda just cobbled together out of miscellaneous assets, but doesn't manage to make it feel like a Theme the way Space Junk Galaxy does.

90. Snow Cap Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Oh look, another Hungry Luma Galaxy! That didn't take long at all.

I feel like most people wouldn't consider the bunny chases the highlights of the Super Mario Galaxy games, and Snow Cap Galaxy is a galaxy that makes you chase three bunnies, all of which start the mission hidden, under a pretty strict time limit. There's a small chamber you can open that you can chase the bunnies into, but in order to open it, you need to activate a number of Flipswitches, most of which are hidden in the snow, which you need to use your cursor to clear out...

I feel like this mission asks too much of you in too little time, and ends up being another one that ends up more frustrating than fun, especially with how inconsistent chasing down the bunnies can actually be! That being said, I'll give it the edge over Sling Pod, since I think it's at least a little more aesthetically interesting. Bunnies hiding in the snow! It's cute.

89. Stone Cyclone Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: F

If the Hungry Lumas have the worst galaxies in the first game, then World S has some of the worst in the second. I wouldn't say the track record is nearly as bad, I think Super Mario Galaxy 2's quality is much more consistent all around, but that didn't manage to save Stone Cyclone from escaping the bottom tier...

I like a good challenge, but I like a good challenge, and I don't know if I'd consider Stone Cyclone Galaxy good. It's a repeat of the Stone Cyclone planet from the first game (which I do like!), but with all the Tox Boxes, Thwomps, and moving platforms moving 4 times faster. You're given switches that can temporarily slow everything down, and make everything much more manageable, but since it's all temporary, you better be able to manage the faster version once the timer's up!

I don't know, there's a cool concept here, but I feel everything moves so fast when time isn't slowed down, that making jumps between the moving platforms in particular can be really difficult. And when the Tox Boxes are moving faster than you do, sometimes it feels like there's not much room to move without getting squished soon after!

88. Flipswitch Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Yep! Stone Cyclone was the last of the bottom-tiers. Again, there's not really a lot of galaxies in these games I don't like. Now we're at the "I don't necessarily hate them, but also find them kind of pointless" tier!

And no Galaxy feels more pointless to me than Flipswitch Galaxy, which is honestly kind of a joke. Flipswitch Galaxy is One planet. That's right, you get one! This is an entire Galaxy that could easily be a mission in another Galaxy, and even that's being generous. This is a stopgap between two planets in a cooler, more elaborate Galaxy.

Flipswitch Galaxy isn't really frustrating at all, it's probably one of the easiest missions in the entire game, but it's so short and so pointless, that I just wish they did a little more with it, you know? Add a couple more planets, let things escalate a little more, I know you want to keep it easy because of how early in the game it is, but if Flip-Swap Galaxy is any indication, you can do a breezy early-game gimmick galaxy much better than this!

87. Bigmouth Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Okay, quick question, how many of you have beaten Bigmouth Galaxy the intended way? I genuinely didn't know until a pretty recent playthrough that there even were Star Chips in this Galaxy. I always just used gravity shenanigans to jump from the top of pool to the other! I thought that's what you were supposed to do, and that the jump was just a little annoying to get right! I'm not sure if I've even ever done this mission the intended way. The jump is just way quicker.

Bigmouth Galaxy is pretty whatever. It sure does exist! I think it's funny that this is a Hungry Luma Galaxy, but Penguru says he likes to come here frequently just to think. He's been a frequent here ever since the galaxy was born five minutes ago!

What do you want me to say about Bigmouth Galaxy. It's a shorter, easier, more mediocre version of Slimy Spring Galaxy, I guess.

86. Drip Drop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

I'm just not giving these Hungry Luma galaxies a break, am I? Don't worry Hungry Lumas, you'll do better in Super Mario Galaxy 2.

Anyway, Drip Drop Galaxy is a single planet where you kill a few Gringills with shells, and that's really it. The underwater controls in this game can feel a little janky, so aiming the shells can be a little frustrating, but it's not especially hard, especially if you can find the Red Shells, which retain their homing ability from Mario Kart.

Pretty unremarkable, not especially fun, but I don't dread it the way I do some others, so that's a plus. Apparently this is where Penguru lives.

85. Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Wrapping up the D-tiers, we have Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor, the most forgettable of the Bowser and Bowser Jr. stages. King Kaliente is a cool boss and all, and I think the sinking lava platforms are a cool shakeup to his fight, but for the final boss of the fifth dome, you kinda think they'd do a bit more, right?

There's not really a lot of buildup to the boss, and the boss itself isn't all that difficult, which makes this mission feel pretty underwhelming. I'm curious if I'd put this higher if it weren't one of the Bowser Jr. stages. My stance is "probably, but not by too much". There's not a lot going on in this galaxy.

84. Boo's Boneyard Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I don't know what it says that this is one of the better Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game.

Let's talk positives first! I think it's cool that they give you a rematch against the Spooky Speedster, and I like that it shakes things up so much. The idea of you getting the Boo Mushroom to become more "equal" with the Spooky Speedster is cool, and I like that they further differentiate things by making it a 2D level. That's all pretty cool!

It's just that... I think this mission is really easy. The Spooky Speedster isn't really all that speedy here, and unlike the shortcut during the first race which you kinda have to go out of your way for, this time it's in plain sight, and not hard to reach at all. Besides that, I just don't think the Boo Mushroom is an especially fun powerup to use in a Race. It's a good powerup, make no mistake, but in the context of a race, it feels pretty sluggish...

83. Loopdeeloop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Super Mario Galaxy has a handful of motion-control based minigames, and of the bunch, I think the ray surfing is my least favorite. I don't hate it, I kinda like how wild riding the waves can feel, but at the same time, that wildness combined with the motion controls can make it feel at times like you don't have a lot of control over where you're going, you know?

Loopdeeloop Galaxy is the galaxy that introduces this minigame, and it's fine. I generally prefer its more challenging variant (which we'll see later, but not too much later), but this works well enough as an introduction. It's just kind of a basic version of a minigame I'm not that big a fan of, there's not a lot to say about Loopdeeloop Galaxy.

82. Honeyclimb Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

As far as single-mission gimmick galaxies go, this one is alright. I like the use of Mandibugs and Meteors to spice things up. Unlike something like the Flipswitch Galaxy, this has a pretty solid sense of escalation, which I like!

That being said, it's still pretty basic, climbing honey walls isn't exactly the most exciting gimmick in the world, so I'm not gonna be that huge on a galaxy built completely around it. I guess the focus on the honey climbing lets it feel a bit more distinct from the other Bee Mushroom galaxies, but it's also easily the weakest of the Bee Mushroom galaxies, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

I feel like I don't have much to say about any of these mid-tier Galaxies. Sorry.

81. Grand Finale Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Of all the galaxy rankings, I feel like this is one of the ones I feel the least certain about. Part of me feels it should be lower, part of me thinks putting it lower would be unfair, so instead it ends up here!

From a gameplay perspective, Grand Finale Galaxy is not really that interesting at all. There's no challenge, you just grab the Purple Coins, which are all just out there in the open, and that's really it! That's the star! I don't even know if you can die in this galaxy at all.

But like, that feels like the wrong way to assess this galaxy, because it's not meant to be a challenge in the slightest, it's meant to be this nice little reward you get for getting 100% in this game. You beat the game twice over already, so get to enjoy the Star Festival without Bowser rudely interrupting! Get to spend a little more time with all the characters you've met on your journey before being done with the game for good, it's here as a nice little bonus.

That being said, as a Grand Finale, I feel it sort of lacks... grandeur? I dunno. It's cute as a nice little goodbye, but part of me feels they could've done a little more with it.

Don't ask me what! I'm not a game designer, I'm just some autistic girl on the internet talking about a 16 year old video game! Leave me alone!

80. Mario Squared Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

I'll give Mario Squared Galaxy this: it has one of the best names of any galaxy across these games, and that gotta count for something.

Mario Squared is pretty much just a reused planet from Toy Time Galaxy in the first game, just with the rotating squares swapped out for Flipswitches. And I mean hey, if you're gonna reuse content from any galaxy, Toy Time is a pretty good pick. but also the very nature of being reused content means I'm bumping it down a bit, because eh! We've already seen this before! I don't need a galaxy to be a small part of a better galaxy!

I'm pretty sure this galaxy solely exists so they could bring back the infamous Luigi's Purple Coins mission in Super Mario Galaxy 2, which I guess is fair. That mission is difficult, but it is fun, and I like the twists they add in this game (like the Cosmic Clones, and the fact you have to grab all of them this time)! Fun way to create a new take on one of the first game's most challenging missions.

...But can I really rate a galaxy that highly for redoing something another Galaxy already did? I don't know if I can give Mario Squared Galaxy a super high grade for copying Toy Time Galaxy's homework and changing it a little.

I think it's funny that the objective of this mission is to turn all the blue Flipswitches yellow, so it looks like Mario's SMB1 sprite, but once all the Flipswitches are activated, they all turn green, making the whole thing feel kinda pointless. This is fine because green is a better color than yellow anyway.

79. Hurry-Scurry Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Another one of those short gimmick galaxies with only one mission. I think building a galaxy around these disappearing panels is a pretty fun idea. Once you stand on one of them, it's gone forever, so you have to plan your route carefully, but don't spend too much time planning, because all the ground is disappearing panels. It creates a fun dynamic, that's true to the galaxy's name! There's a solid chance your route will be a little off, so you might have to make some big leaps to grab notes you may have missed. It's cool, I like it!

But not like, that much. It's still a pretty small galaxy all things considered. This one gets a little buildup before the end, which is nice, but it's not much buildup, so the whole experience ends up feeling a little short.

Not helping is the fact they repeat this mission later in the game, but more challenging, and in a galaxy that has other things going on. That does subtract from Hurry-Scurry Galaxy a bit, I feel.

78. Sand Spiral Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I know I've mentioned multiple times in this post how mediocre the Hungry Luma galaxies in the first game are, but for emphasis: this is the second best one, and it's in C-Tier. Don't feel too bad, Sand Spiral Galaxy. You'll still outshine most of your siblings at the family reunion. At least if you're ignoring those pesky Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxies.

This Galaxy gives you a choice between the Bee Mushroom and the Boo Mushroom, and I pretty much always pick the Boo Mushroom I'm pretty sure. There's obstacles for both on the way, so it's not like one's strictly "better" than the other, but I always appreciate the extra control the Boo Mushroom gives me here. After a short tunnel, you lose your powerup, are sent to a spiral planet spinning around a moon, where you grab a Rainbow Star and run through some mines to grab the Star at the end.

It's a pretty short mission that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to do, but at the very least, I appreciate that it gives you multiple options, the visual at the end is pretty striking, and making big jumps during the spiral as a Speedrun Strat can be pretty satisfying.

77. Boss Blitz Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

If you couldn't tell already, a lot of World S in Super Mario Galaxy 2 is reused content, and that's a lot of why these galaxies are scoring so low. Boss Blitz Galaxy is a string of five boss fights from the first game in a row, which I guess makes it a bit interesting in the context of the sequel, given none of these bosses show up in the main quest, so if this is your only Super Mario Galaxy game, you kinda gotta figure them all out on the fly.

Thankfully, most of these boss fights are still pretty fun, though again, they're all reused so you're not really getting much new here. The timer challenge is sort of teetering on the edge between being "challenging in a frustrating way" and "challenging in a fun way" for me. Speedrunning all the boss fights can be really fun, but none of them really have shortcuts the way the bosses in say, Super Mario Odyssey do, and some of the RNG in the Bouldergeist fight can make the challenge feel a bit inconsistent (even if that IS the best of the bosses), so sometimes your pace feels a bit out of your control.

It also feels weird to have both Dino Piranha and Fiery Dino Piranha, it's kinda redundant, though I do like having them as the bookends, I guess.

76. Twisty Trials Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

Woah, reusing content from Super Mario Sunshine now? Slow down, World S!

For what it's worth, reusing Sunshine content is a bit more interesting than reusing Galaxy content, because it's a different game with different controls and different physics and whatnot. Still, it's not like Twisty Trials Galaxy is that interesting. It's a series of progressively more difficult rotating platforms that you have to keep your balance on, and that's really it, though I do like the comet challenge where they move twice as fast, and you have to use the Cloud Flower to keep on pace. That's pretty neat.

I wish they kept the music from Sunshine. I like the weird a capella version of the Super Mario Bros. Overworld theme way more than Super Mario 2007.

75. Loopdeeswoop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

"The Galaxy's Greatest Wave". I mean, there's only two ray surfing galaxies across both games, this one and Loopdeeloop, so is there really that much competition?

That being said, yeah, I like this more challenging version. I know that the ray surfing minigame still isn't really my favorite (it's in C-tier for a reason!) but having a more difficult course I think brings out some of the best aspects, like how wild it feels to control! And also some of the worst aspects, like how wild it feels to control! It's still as much of a double-edged sword as ever, just a bit more extreme due to the more extreme course.

That being said, since it's more challenging, that makes finishing it feel a lot more satisfying, and I'd never say it really feels unfair. Sure, falling off can be frustrating given how difficult it can be to control, but when it's all done, I end up feeling more "yeah, I did it :D" than "oh thank god that's over with", which I think is the important distinction between an F-tier and a C-tier.

Don't take that as meaning I'm in love with this galaxy, though. It's still here for a reason.

74. Bonefin Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

The cooler Drip Drop Galaxy.

That's really pretty much all this one is, it's Drip Drop Galaxy again but this time it's a boss fight, and it's a bit more exciting because of it. Heck, you need to beat Drip Drop Galaxy to unlock this one, so the resemblance isn't unintentional!

Since it's pretty much Drip Drop Galaxy again, it suffers a lot of the same issues that Galaxy has, but I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't get boosted a lot from the Style Points, though I also think having a single large target to hit ends up feeling a lot better than several smaller targets. Aiming your shells feels a lot easier, but since it's a boss fight, there's also a better sense of escalation here.

Still, it's pretty much just the boss fight, and I mean, being a slightly better version of a D-tier Galaxy isn't exactly something I'll sing my highest praises about. If nothing else, at least it has a killer atmosphere.

73. Sea Slide Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Wrapping up the C-tier is Sea Slide Galaxy, the worst of the "big" Galaxies from the first game. To quote myself from earlier in the same post, "Well, something had to be the worst." But also not quite like that since it's nowhere near as bad.

The biggest issue with Sea Slide Galaxy is there's really not an awful lot of diversity in its missions. Of the six missions here, three of them are basically "swim in a loop around the galaxy," just with slightly different distances. The Silver Star mission, thankfully, fares a lot better, as does the Improved Version of Hurry-Scurry Galaxy (here it is!) but the last of the missions is one of the boring Purple Coin missions. Mod Hooligon's Tip: If you start a Purple Coin mission and it doesn't have this banger, I'm Sorry.

The galaxy definitely has a unique layout, but there's not really much to do in the water besides swim in a circle, since every mission that doesn't involve swimming in a circle usually has you ignoring the water outright. Would this galaxy be better if it had more swimming? I dunno. As stated, the underwater controls in this game can be a bit finnicky, so maybe I should be glad it's either swim in a circle or don't swim at all.

And that's it for today's post! Do you agree with my opinions? Do you disagree? If you're a Sling Pod Galaxy fan, make some noise!

And if you're looking for the B-Tier galaxies, you're in luck, because you can find those here!

#super mario galaxy #super mario galaxy 2 #mod hooligon

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yourfavoritewitchbitch · 3 months

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Gator Tillman x Fem! Reader

Valentine's Day Blurb from the Badge Bunny AU

Valentine's Day is one of your favorite holidays! You're a little bratty when you think things aren't going your way. Gator takes matters into his own hands.

Special thanks to @starksbabie for all your help! 😘

18+ Only! Minors DNI!

Warnings: Reader is referred to as "Bunny" or "Bun". Fluffy and sweet moments. Porn with plot. A little bit of Dom!Gator/Sub!Reader. Spanking. A hint of orgasm denial. P in V (wrap it before you tap it). Creampie.

Word Count: 3K

Valentine's Day was a few days away. One of the few holidays you secretly enjoyed.

That bitchy facade you carried around melted away this time of year. You'd had boyfriends in the past that went all out. Roses, fancy restaurants, some nice jewelry.

In no way were you expecting that this year. Gator was not a mushy, lovesick puppy that followed you around. He was very rough around the edges, but he could surprise you with how gentle he could be.

You weren't even sure if he remembered what day it was, having to remind him when Halloween was this past fall. Maybe it was the way he was brought up. Roy only recognizing Christian holidays in his household when Gator was a child.

Henry was letting you decorate the bar to your liking. Paper hearts on walls. Red and pink garland strung about.

He just shook his head putting some more glasses away as you hummed to yourself hanging another paper mâché heart from the ceiling.

It was a slow lunch giving you plenty of time to decorate.

“What do ya’ think, Henry?” You called over to him.

“I think it looks like some lovesick fool threw up in here, but it could be worse.” He chuckled, heading to the back once more.

It was then your lovesick fool walked in the door, the little bell above his head announcing his arrival as you caught his eye. Grin plastered across his handsome face at seeing you.

“Hey baby!” You shouted, climbing down from the ladder to meet him, throwing your arms around his neck for a hug and a quick peck.

“Hey sweet thing.” He had his arm slung around your waist, keeping you close to him. “Look at this place. All your doing, huh? Bunny has a heart after all.”

He laughed as you batted his chest, moving out of his grasp.

“Oh stop, you'll ruin my reputation saying shit like that.” You moved to go get him his usual Mt Dew as he sat in a booth.

“No Andy today?” Sitting the soda in front of him as he grabbed a straw from the front of your apron.

“Nah, he's off. Takin' his fiancé away for the weekend.” You nodded, thinking it must be nice.

You'd secretly held out a little hope he might surprise you with something.

The 14th rolled around. It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Picturesque. No snow today and the sun was shining.

You'd slept in. Gator saying that he had something to do a little later but kept tight lipped about it, as usual.

You eased out of bed, letting him sleep in a little longer. You'd been waiting to surprise him all week.

You made heart shaped pancakes, burning the first few and throwing the evidence promptly into the bottom of the trashcan. Hoping like hell you didn't set the smoke alarm off ruining the morning.

Adding chocolate chips to his and fresh strawberries to yours, they were finally done.

You'd just finished setting the plates down when you heard your bedroom door finally swing open. He grumbled, making his way down the hall.

Sleep mussed hair sticking up and across his forehead, eyes barely opened as he blinked when he noticed the table was set.

“What's all this then?” He asked, with a groggy voice.

You smiled, “It's for you. Happy Valentine's Day!”

“You did all this for me?” He grinned, looking over the table and looking back at you. Your hands splayed on your hips, thoroughly proud of yourself.

He rounded the table, pulling you in by your hips kissing you softly.

“I'm so glad you didn't burn the house down.” Chuckling as he pulled away.

“Shut up.” You giggled along, pushing him toward the table. “Sit down, before it gets too cold.”

He immediately grabs the syrup, eyes twinkling like a kid on Christmas morning, smothering his cakes with the sticky sweetness.

It made you wonder how many times growing up he actually got to indulge himself as he took the first bite, humming around his fork.

“Bunny, these are fuckin' amazing.” Saying, around another mouthful.

You smiled, as you dug into your own plate.

He wolfed down a second helping before cussing to himself checking the time.

“Fuck. I've got to get a shower.” He huffed, putting his cleared plate in the sink, kissing your cheek before heading down the hall.

That blissful little bubble you created burst. Duty calls… again.

“I love ya’ Bun. See you this afternoon.” Kissing your cheek once again and he was out the door, while your hands were deep in the sink washing the dishes from this morning.

You typically had Sundays off to laze about. This one was no different. Tidying the house up a bit before watching a little reality TV to pass the time.

You definitely weren't trying to distract your thoughts of Gator leaving without so much as a cheesy card or even a box of chocolates for you. You'd seen half expected one of those gas station roses that were actually thongs rolled up to look like a rose. At least that would mean he actually thought about it.

It's a stupid, made-up holiday, right? At least that's what you kept telling yourself.

You'd grown a little more frustrated as the day went on.

You finally got a text from him a couple hours after he left.

Should be back in about an hour. We have the afternoon to do whatever you want.

You just responded with a quick “sure,” leaning back onto the couch cushions making yourself more comfortable.

The rumble of the truck engine pulling in woke you. You’d drifted off after texting him back, finding the couch much too comfortable and the TV a relaxing background noise.

He shot through the front door, immediately clocking your messy hair and half lidded eyes.

“Take a nap, sweet thing?” Coming over, rubbing his knuckles across your cheek.

“So, what if I did?” You grumbled.

“You're always grumpy when ya’ wake up.” Planting a kiss to your forehead. “Did you wanna go out later?”

“No.” You shook your head, running the back of your hand across your eyes.

“No? Thought today was your favorite?” He grinned.

“Yeah, but you don't seem to care about it so neither should I.” Throwing the blanket off you, as you stood.

He rolled his eyes, letting a hard breath out through his nose, knowing exactly where this was heading when you'd sent that text.

“So that's it, huh?” Following you down the hall. “Thought I just forgot about it? Bunny, you should know me better than that by now.”

You huffed a laugh. “Do I? Not so much as morning fuck? I mean I thought I would at least get that. You jump at any chance to get your dick wet any other day. No stupid holiday needed.”

“God, you are such a fuckin' brat when you don't get your way.” He grabbed your arm, making you turn to face him. “I had some shit to do. I couldn't just bend you over the table and fuck you over the pancakes, could I?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, refusing to look at him even as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him.

“Bunny, quit with the fuckin' attitude or I'll make you quit.” His voice was a little more gravely, going straight to your core knowing exactly what that meant.

A game you usually liked to play. Pushing his buttons until he caved, being a little rougher than usual. Spanking your ass until you were welted, then railing you into oblivion.

“No Gator, I'm not in the fucking mood for your shit right now.” You tried to wrench out of his grasp, but he held you tight.

He leveled his gaze, “Oh, but I bet you are. Bet she's already drooling f’me. Need me to bend ya’ over my knee? Give you somethin’ to whine about?”

His hand traveled from your lower back to your ass, grabbing a handful before pulling off coming back down with a harsh smack.

“Ahhh, Gator!” You arched forward, hands planting firmly on his chest. You looked up when he hissed at the contact.

“What was that?” Running your hands across his clothed chest. He grabbed your hand, keeping it in place.

“Maybe if you weren't bein’ such a whiney ass, I would show ya’. I uh… I got a little surprise.” He grinned, crooked smile that you adore plastered across his face.

“Show me then.” You whispered. “I'll be good. Promise.” Looking up through your lashes, doe eyes he couldn't resist.

“Fine.” Stepping back, removing his jacket.

His fingers reached the hem of his shirt, pulling it up, your eyes trailing his toned stomach up to his chest. His left peck was partially covered at the top.

“You got a new tattoo?” You deadpanned. This is what he had to do today?

“Really Gator?” Voice showing no hint of amusement.

“Yeah. For you babe.” He lifted the tape at the edges to slowly reveal his new ink. Bunny was written there with a Playboy bunny graphic.

“What? You don't like it?”

“It's not even my name. At least I have your name. And the Playboy bunny? Seriously?” You laughed out, but when you looked back at him, he almost looked hurt.

“It's what I call you. You're my Bunny, that's never going to change.” He huffed out while you were still laughing. “You know what, I'm done with this fuckin’ attitude. Bend over the table.”

“Now.” He added, when you didn't move.

Shit. You knew the tone. You'd pushed too far.

“Gator, I…” You stopped when you looked back into his eyes that were almost black.

“Bend. Over. The. Table. I'm not going to tell you again.” There was a glint in his eye, followed by a devilish smirk.

You quickly nodded, padding over quickly. Planting your hands firmly on the wooden tabletop as you bent at the waist, pushing your ass up into the air barely covered by your sleep shorts.

His boots loud against the linoleum flooring as he came to stand behind you. Close enough you can feel the heat radiating from him but barely grazing you.

He brings his large palm to rest on your cheek, kneading it softly only for a moment. You knew it was coming.

He landed one hard smack, jolting you forward, the edge of the table already digging into your thighs as you let out a soft moan.

He quickly slid his hand back over your ass, soothing the burn slightly. He bent over to get close to you, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as he spoke.

“You wanted this, huh? A heavy hand and a hard cock fixes you right up, huh sweet thing?” He kisses your temple before continuing.

He slid his fingers underneath the waistband of your shorts pushing them down past your thighs as they pool in the floor around your feet.

You knew the drill, as you leaned over dropping to your elbows to brace yourself anticipating another heavy blow that didn't come. Instead, you rocked forward when he ran a finger up through your folds.

You let another wanton moan slip past your lips as his thick digit circled your entrance.

“Fuck, you're soaked,” pushing in slightly, before moving it quickly away. “You didn't think it'd be that easy, did ya’?”

Another hard smack to the other cheek.

“Fuck Bunny, how many you need? 10 more? 20?” You whimpered at his words.

“I… I don't know, sir.” Your voice came out a little weak, already sounding wrecked.

“Fuck, she's got manners.” He growled. You used that title sparingly, but he fucking loved it. Hearing “sir” roll off your lips in that sultry tone made him weak in the knees.

“We’ll do ten since you're being such a good girl. Count em.”

“Yes sir.” You hummed, as he laid one more smack to each cheek.

“Two.” You huffed. The welts were already forming.

“Three.” You bit your lip briefly, distracting you from the sting.

“Four… mmhmm five.” A tear rolled down your cheek.

“Six. Fuck.” Your nails dig into the surface of the table, trying to grasp anything to ground you.

“Seven. Eight. Nine.” In quick succession, as your legs started to give out, knees buckling as your thighs shook.

One last smack sent you reeling.

“Ten.” You choked out.

“That's it baby. Now, let me take care of you and this pretty cunt.” He said, undoing his pants taking his aching length from its confinements.

Pulling your hips up, he gave you no warning before his cock was nudging your sopping entrance. He pushed in slightly before completely burying himself to the hilt in one swift motion. There was no resistance with how wet you were.

“Fuck, Gator.” You hissed out but arched your ass further into him. The sting of being stretched out so suddenly, almost borderline painful, had a few more tears running down your cheeks as your pussy clenched around him.

“Fuck, always so goddamn tight. Fuckin' pussy was made f’me.” He pushed you down, hand between your shoulder blades, cheek now resting on the cool surface of the table.

He pulled back, only to snap his hips immediately back into yours with such force the table scooted across the floor.

He set a brutal pace, your moans were high pitched and whiny. The angle had your ass further in the air and his cock hitting that sweet spongy spot with each thrust. You knew you wouldn't be able to hold back your orgasm if he kept going.

Your arousal was dripping down your thighs, and coating his balls that were slapping at your puffy clit with each rock of his hips. The sound of skin slapping skin echoing off the walls in the small space.

“Sir, please. I'm going to… Can I please… “ you were begging, as it was building. That pressure slowly creeps up your lower belly, tingling up your spine.

“No, Bunny!” He growled, fingertips digging further into your hips pulling you back in time with his thrusts.

“Gator, I'm… I can't.” You sobbed, trying to pull in a deep breath.

“No, baby just wait. I'm… fuck … almost there.”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, as your pussy began to clench around him.

“Gator, please, fuck…” you cried out.

“Come on Bunny, come on my cock.”

No sooner than he got the words out, the damn inside you broke. Clamping down around his cock, as he began to fill you full. Your eyes were shut tight, fireworks exploding behind them.

Your walls pulsed around him, milking every last drop, as he let out a string of incoherent words before collapsing against your back.

“Goddamn Bunny,” he panted as his cock kicked up within you one last time making you whimper.

He gently moved off you, removing himself, holding your hips steady as you got your feet under you. You knew you'd feel this one for a few days to come.

He pulled you up, as you wrapped your arms around his neck completely blissed out, eyes half lidded as he smoothed the hair from your face.

“Feel better?” He chuckled lightly.

“Mhmm… much.” You hummed.

“Good, sweet thing. Now go take a fuckin' shower and get dressed. I've got a surprise for my girl.” His grin grew wide with your confused expression.

“You really thought I'd forget Valentine's Day? After everything you did for me? Everything you do for me?”

You smiled, looking down at his new tattoo.

“Thought this was my gift?” you giggled, tracing just under the new ink. It was endearing. He wanted to match what you'd gifted him this past Christmas.

“Part of it, yeah. Now come on.” He pecks your lips, before dragging you down the hall.

You showered, examining the angry, hand shaped welts on your ass in the mirror, knowing it would be a pain to sit on any hard surface for a couple of days, but it was worth it. You just smiled to yourself, wrapping a towel around you.

You were standing in front of the mirror when he came to stand in the doorway, watching your after shower routine.

You could feel his gaze as you met his eyes through the mirror.

“What?” You smiled up at him.

“Just thinking how pretty y’are. But I feel like something's missin’.”

He moved his hand from behind his back revealing a small velvet box.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

“What's that handsome?” You tried to speak evenly though your heart was beating so hard you thought he might hear.

“Close your eyes.” You gave him a pointed look. “C’mon. You'll like it.”

You slid them closed, as he walked behind you. You felt the coolness of a thin chain come to rest on your collar bones. You breathed just a tiny sigh of relief, as he clasped it to, kissing your bare shoulder.

“Perfect.” He said as you opened your eyes, a tiny gold chain that held his initial “G” hung delicately around your neck as you examined it thoughtfully tracing the small letter with your fingertip.

“You don't like it?” He deflated a bit when you didn't say anything.

“It's perfect baby.” You turned around pulling him in for a kiss.

“Promise?” He pulled back, slightly, lips ghosting yours.

“Promise.” You giggled.

“Good, since you won't let me knock ya' up, at least this way everyone’ll know your mine.” You rolled your eyes, hand batting at his chest as he laughed.

“God, you're ridiculous.” Pulling him in by the collar for another kiss. “Ruining a perfectly sweet moment with that damn mouth.”

He let you finish getting ready, then drove you to the little diner you frequented weekly. Sharing a couple of burgers and milkshakes, it was the perfect way to end the day.

“Happy Valentine's Day Bunny.” He grinned, catching the glint of his initial on display for all to see, as he held your hand from across the table.

#gator smut #gator tillman #gator tillman smut #gator tillman fanfic #gator tillman x you #🐊#gator tillman x reader #gator tillman x female reader #gator tillman x bunny #badge bunny series #gator tillman x badge bunny #joe keery #fargo s5

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rookthorne · 8 months

Text

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲

Bucky had always been an early riser, you knew this from the very beginning, only this time, there was a surprise in store. No amount of coffee could prepare you for it, either.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ☘︎ Lumberjack!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 ☘︎ 660

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ☘︎ Fluff, heavily implied smut

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 ☘︎ This is leading up to something... *runs*

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 ☘︎ @pupandkisasaesthetics Aesthetic Challenge — Masterlist

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐬, 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

The morning air was crisp with the waning cold of winter, and you shivered while the sound of an axe hitting the solid mass of Bucky’s splitting station accompanied the whistle of the old-fashioned kettle.

It was a slow morning, as was every Sunday in the Barnes’ household. Bucky had woken up at the crack of dawn with the promise to be back later, “I won’t be long, bunny, ‘kay?” he mumbled before kissing your shoulder and shuffling out of bed, not to be seen again.

You replied with some mumbled ascent and promptly fell back asleep, that was until you heard the solid thump, thump, thump of split pieces of wood hitting the snow packed ground, and the low grunts of effort that left Bucky’s lips on every swing of his axe.

That was how you ended up in the small kitchen of the cabin, protected from the cold by a warm, fluffy gown and matching slippers while you waited for the blessing that was caffeine.

Sarge was nowhere to be seen and Koda sat at your feet, her mouth open in a doggish-smile while she waited for the possibility of a treat. “Maybe later, baby girl,” you murmured around a yawn.

Koda let out a small huff and trotted away towards the front door. “Yeah, I’ll let you out,” you called after her just as another thump of the axe sounded. “How can he do that this damn early…”

The coffee finally made and in two steaming mugs, you trudged to the front door and looked out into the sprawling yard – snow covered the ground, soft after the fresh fall overnight and piled in places where neither Bucky nor you walked through often, and Sarge had made a home on one of the latter, his tail wagging at a fever pitch that made snow fly behind him.

You opened the door with your hip and Koda bolted past you, her brown fur flying with the inertia of a dog that had felt so wronged by staying inside.

“Koda! Girl–what’re you doin’?” Bucky called, looking up from his station. “I told you to wait for- Oh, hey, sweetheart.”

“Morning, James,” you chuckled. The brunette wandered over and took your offered mug with a grateful smile. “Why and how you can do this so damn early…” A sip of your coffee made you sigh with contentment – the rich and earthy tone of the blend perfectly palatable. “It never fails to shock me. You had a perfectly cosy, comfortable, and warm bed to stay in.”

Bucky laughed. “Is that so, Clover? Maybe you can convince me to stay next time, yeah?”

“There are plenty of ways to keep warm other than firewood,” you said simply, staring into Bucky’s face for a reaction.

You weren’t disappointed.

“Fuckin’ hell, baby,” Bucky sighed, his neck turning pink with your insinuation. “Say less next time.”

“No,” you said, poking his chest with your index finger. Bucky raised a brow in challenge. “It seems you need to be explicitly told that there are other ways I would rather wake up than you swinging your axe next to our bedroom window and grunting. Got it?”

Bucky held his hands out in surrender, but there was a glint of something in his bright eyes that made you smirk. “Deal.” He leant in closer under the guise of kissing you on the forehead, but the next thing you heard was, “I’d rather be grunting from fuckin’ you up the mattress while you whine and cry for more–pretty sure my bunny would wanna be woken up with her cock, wouldn’t she?”

“James Barnes!” you spluttered, your coffee almost sloshing out of your cup as you jerked back in surprise. “What the fuck was that?”

“A promise,” he replied simply, a wink sent your way before he turned back to his station. “Keep it in mind, sweetheart–’cos the next time you say shit like that to me, you’re gonna regret it.”

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x f!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes fluff #pup&kisasaestheticchallenge #rookthorne's works

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callsign-dexter · 5 months

Text

Pops is Hurt

Summary: Jake's jet gets shot down. Bradley goes after him and gets shot down as well but ejects unscathed. The temperature is not what they expected and it's snowing. How is their little girl going to deal with seeing her other father in the hospital?

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Daughter!Reader, Bradley Bradshaw x Daughter!Reader, Jake Seresin x Bradley Bradshaw

Warnings: angst, inaccurate medical talk, plane crashes, inaccurate military talk, fluff, swearing

Masterlist

Our Little Girl

Banner done by @callsigns-haze

Jake and Bradley along with Natasha and Bob had been chosen to go on a brief and very short mission. Short as in 1 month or 4 weeks. They just needed jets to get in and get out then come home. They found this out while they were at work before they had to go and pick up their little girl from daycare. Ice wouldn't be going with them instead it would be staying behind to watch the little girl, normally Carole and Goose would but they have and since Goose is going with Maverick, Ice was quick to volunteer to watch his spoiled granddaughter. Carole and Ice agreed to help each other out but Ice practically begged to keep her and she agreed. Bradley, Jake, Bob, and Natasha would be leaving the day after tomorrow, Sunday, to get a jump on things and maybe have them come home sooner. In the meantime, they were going to spend it with their little girl.

Both Jake's and Bradley's alarms blared right next to them. They were quick to turn them off that way they didn't disturb their little girl from her peaceful sleeping. They both got up simultaneously and started getting ready for the day. It was a Saturday and they left on Sunday. Both of them were early risers so it was normal for them to get up early even on the weekend but let their daughter sleep in until 9 AM it was only 6:30 AM. Both of them usually ran in the morning and they would do it together but since they had Y/N they took separate turns never leaving her alone by herself. "You wanna go run first?" Bradley asked Jake in a voice still laced with sleep that Jake loved so much.

"Yes and then you can go when I get back." He said and Bradley nodded. Bradley always took a little bit to wake up so he always offered to stay behind while Jake went. They kissed each other and Bradley started to head downstairs to start a pot of coffee while Jake got changed in his running gear. As he was heading downstairs he stopped by their daughter's room and checked in on her. He smiled when he saw her curled up with her stuffed chocolate and tan Bunny whom she had named Rolo sleeping soundly. He closed the door quietly and made his way to the kitchen. After a few minutes, he heard the door open and shut again and knew that his husband did the same thing as him. Jake then came down and kissed him and then headed outside to start his run.

While Jake was running Bradley started working around the kitchen and transferring clothes in the washer over to the dryer. 30 minutes later Jake came back in sweating he had his music in so he didn't say anything just walked upstairs to get ready for the day. While the shower was running Bradley went upstairs and checked on their daughter one more time before changing and going on his run. She had yet to move positions but had kicked the covers off and he walked in and pulled them up over her again and then kissed her head and headed out as he heard the water shut off and walked in as his husband came out of the bathroom in only a towel. "She still sound to sleep?" He asked and Bradley nodded.

"She kicked her covers off and I covered her back up." He said and Jake chuckled. "What's so funny?" Bradley asked smiling.

"Nothing really it's just that you do that same thing." Jake said and Bradley gaped at him.

"No I do not." He defended but Jake just chuckled and walked over and kissed him.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He said and patted him on the cheek and got ready for the day as Bradley got ready to run. They both walked downstairs and Bradley was put the door with a kiss to Jake's lips.

Bradley had been gone 20 minutes while Jake started to get things ready for breakfast when a little voice called out to both of them. "Papa? Daddy?" Jake dropped everything and walked up to her room and opened the door to their daughter's room. Jake checked his watch it was only 7:30 AM.

"What's wrong, Sweets?" He asked walking into her room and she lifted her hands up and he picked her up.

"Me no feel good." She said and he touched her forehead, she was a little warm but nothing too concerning. She always tended to get clingy and a little sick before they left for a deployment. They told everyone Friday after work over dinner that they were deploying for a month and she had been glued to them both ever since.

"Oh, Sweets. You're a little warm. What hurts?" He asked beginning to walk to the kitchen.

"My tummy." She said and laid her head on his shoulder. He knew that she wasn't lying she was an honest child and would never lie.

"Do you wanna sit on the couch while I cook breakfast and drink some juice or stay in my arms while I cook and drink some juice?" He asked looking at his daughter that looked a little pale.

"You." She said and Jake nodded and repositioned her and began cooking. It's a good thing that Jake and Bradley were used to holding her and multitasking.

"Ok, Sweets." He said and got a bottle and put some apple juice in it and gave it to her she downed half of it and then handed it to him. She laid her head down on his shoulder and fell back to sleep just as soon as Bradley walked into the house. He immediately noticed Y/N in Jake's arms and grew concerned she usually slept until 9 AM and it was only 7:50 AM. He walked over to both of them as Jake turned hearing footsteps.

"Everything ok?" He asked rubbing his daughter's back and kissing Jake.

"She woke up and called out for us. I walked in and she wanted me to pick her up and I did. She said her stomach hurt when I asked what was wrong and she was and still is warm." Jake said and Bradley's heart broke a little he hated it when one of his loved ones was sick. He felt his forehead and it was warm.

"Oh, poor Baby. I'll go and take a shower and change and then take her from you or finish breakfast. Has she eaten or drank anything?" He asked and Jake nodded.

"Downed a half of a bottle of apple juice and then went back to sleep." He said and Bradley nodded.

"I'll be right back." He said and headed upstairs. Jake heard the shower turn on and turned back to the food and not even 10 minutes later Bradley was walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Want me to finish breakfast or hold her?" He asked.

"You finish breakfast. I don't want to wake her up." Jake said and Bradley nodded as Jake gave him the spatula and Jake shifted her weight to where it was distributed equally. She moved a little bit but did not wake. Jake leaned up against the counter backward while holding her.

"How's she feeling?" Bradley asked as he flipped the pancakes and bacon. Her forehead was resting on his neck so he could feel it easily but wanted to feel it with his hand instead and that's what he did.

"She's not as warm." He said and then looked at the clock and it was 9 AM "Should we wake her and get some food into her?" Jake asked and Bradley turned to them and nodded and that's what they did. Jake tasked himself with waking her up as Bradley plated the food. "Hey, Sweets. It's time to get up. Do you want some food?" He asked as he rubbed her back and that roused her she slowly woke up and nodded and they smiled. Then she noticed Bradley.

"Daddy?" She asked in a queit voice.

"Hey, Honey." He came over and kissed her forehead with two plates of food one in each hand and headed to the table. Jake and Y/N weren't too far behind. Jake sat her down at the table and went to grab plates and her drink as she stole some bacon. "How's your tummy?" He asked as she took a bite of bacon.

"Better, Daddy." She said as Jake came back with plates and drinks.

"Good, Sweets. We don't like it when you're sick." Jake said and she nodded her head agreeing. The rest of the breakfast was filled with talking and eating.

The rest of the day they spent it together doing anything they could as a family before they had to go away for a month. Y/N hated when her daddies left her, she had grown so attached to them that it wasn't even funny.

——————————————————————

Sunday had come a lot sooner than they would have liked. They would be leaving at 2 PM so they were going to spend the morning with their little girl and getting her packed and ready to stay at Ice and Mav's. Instead of having Y/N sleep in her own bed they had let her sleep with them so they went to sleep together and woke up together, on occasion they would let her do this especially if the mission was high risk.

The morning was spent with laughter and talking like nothing was going on and like they weren't about to leave and potentially not come back. When they time was to come Carole and Goose were going to drive the boys and Y/N and then Ice and Maverick were going in their own car. Since Maverick was going then that meant that Goose was going because he was his RIO, of course Maverick knew how to fly without one but nothing better than him being able to fly with Goose.

12 PM rolled around and everyone was meeting at the Bradshaw-Seresin household. First it was Goose and Carole and then Ice and Maverick arrived. Nobody really talked everyone preparing for what was to come. Of course Y/N being the exact copy of her parents was hyper and bouncing off the walls saying hi to everyone and that honestly brought a smile to everyone's faces. She knew what was coming but she was just a bright happy girl and made the room light up. "You ready, Sweets?" Jake asked her picking her up and she nodded and they took that cue to leave the house. Ice had picked up her suitcase and walked out before them so they had time to rearrange suitcases and duffle bags.

"Papa?" Y/N asked looking at Jake and he turned to look at her as he stopped by Carole and Goose's car about to put her in.

"Yes, Sweets?" Jake asked as he began to open the door.

"Will you be back soon?" She asked innocently and he swore his heart broke.

"Very soon, Sweets. You're gonna have a good time with Grandpa Ice and before you know it Daddy and I will be back in no time." Jake said and then followed it by a kiss and that made her giggle. Everyone acted like they weren't listening but secretly they were and they were smiling. He buckled her into her car seat and then got in as everyone got in their cars and respected places and started to drive towards the dock.

They arrived at the dock and Bradley was the one that got her out and then everyone followed suit. When they got to the aircraft carrier Jake came over to Bradley and her and they both hugged her and she did the best to hug them both while everyone else said their goodbyes. Carole was snapping pictures left and right of the boys and their little girl, one particular picture she got and was going to cherish was when she threw each of her arms around their shoulders and they kissed her cheek not looking at the camera but facing her and she had the biggest smile on her face and eyes closed enjoying the company of her fathers.

Once everyone said their goodbyes Jake handed Y/N off to Ice and she protested but got comfortable in Ice's arms and settled down. She watched Bradley, Jake, Maverick, and Goose head towards the aircraft carrier to greet the other Daggers and to get ready to board the aircraft carrier . Once they boarded and watched the aircraft carrier sail away and once it was out of sight Ice turned to Carole. "Do you want to come over for a little bit and have a late lunch?" Ice asked and Y/N looked at her Grandma with puppy dog eyes.

"How can I say no to that face? Of course, I will." Carole said and stroked her granddaughter's face that lit up like a Christmas tree. "I'll follow you." She said and Ice nodded and they headed back to the cars. Ice got Y/N in with no problems and then got in and started the truck he made sure Carole was in and ready to go before pulling out and heading towards his and Maverick's house. It wasn't a very far drive when they got there Ice pulled in first and then Carole. Carole was already getting out of the car as Ice turned the truck off and then was getting out and opening the back door that way he could get her out from the middle seat. The three of them walked into the house after Ice had grabbed her suitcase and then they started to have their late lunch in the backyard talking about their plans and watching the energetic young version of Bradley and Jake run around the backyard.

——————————————————————

Jake and Bradley and the rest of The Daggers weren't on the aircraft carrier long before they started missing their little girl, even if it was just for a month it still hurt to leave. "How's Y/N?" Bob asked coming up to the fathers while everyone was sitting in a little common room not far from the bunks. Their kids had been hanging out more and more and they had almost come inseparable.

"She's doing good, was a little sick yesterday morning but quickly got over it." Bradley said, "How's Mason?" He asked and Bob smiled.

"He's doing good. Asking when he can see Y/N again." He said and everyone chuckled.

"We'll have to get them together when we get back." Jake said

"I bet when they get older that they'll get together, get married, and have kids." Javy said and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Oh please, lets not talk about that yet. She's not allowed to date until she's 30." Bradley said and Goose laughed and they looked at him. "What's so funny?" Bradley asked smiling.

"We said the same thing about you." He said and everyone laughed.

——————————————————————

Going into the third week of her fathers being gone she was getting antsy. Ice, Slider, and Carole had done everything to keep her distracted from going to the beach to going to the zoo that she had been to multiple times and her going to school.

One morning Ice had just finished getting ready for the day and getting everything prepared for her to go to school when he heard crying and grew concerned. He walked up to Y/N's room and opened the door and found her tossing and turning. She was mumbling incoherent words. Ice walked over to her bed and knelt down and began talking to her calmly. "Sunshine, it's ok." He said and nothing happened and she was still going on about something. "Y/N, it's just a bad dream. You're safe." He said rubbing her back again nothing. So, he sat on her bed and took her in his arms and held her while she sobbed and he shushed her. "Sunshine." He said again and that seemed to do the trick this time and she slowly woke up. "Are you ok?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Papa is hurt." She said and he looked at her confused.

"What do you mean, Sunshine?" He asked

"Papa went down in snow and Daddy went after him and got shot down." She said and this concerned Ice.

"It was just a bad dream, Sunshine." Ice said trying to soothe the poor child "They'll be home in no time and back to you." He said pulling her into him "Let's get ready for school. Slider and I are gonna pick you up afterward and we'll go out. How does that sound?" He asked.

"That sounds good." She said and that is what they did and as he was helping her get ready he kept thinking back to what she had said. He hoped she was wrong but he'll soon find out that she wasn't and it was going to wreck them.

——————————————————————

This was it. This was the mission. It's supposed to be a simple one. Go in scope out the enemy base, get information, take out the runway, and get out for they realize that they anyone is there. One by one The Daggers took off with Maverick and Goose leading then Bradley and Jake and the last Natasha and Bob. The first half was easy and they got what they needed and then when Cyclone gave the orders for bombs away they sent them and they were getting out of there as soon as possible. Everything was going smoothly until enemy fighters popped up and a dogfight began. Everyone had taken hits but The Daggers were still up and flying until Jake started to have mechanical problems from a bullet hitting his plane and fuel tank. "Hangman to Maverick I'm leaking fuel." Jake said being calm as ever but freaking out on the inside.

"Maverick to Hangman can you make it back to the aircraft carrier?" Maverick asked starting to worry and so was Goose that was his son-in-law.

"Negative." Jake said and this struck fear into Bradley and well everyone else.

"Rooster to Hangman you're going to have to eject. You can't save the jet. I know you love it as much as you love me and our daughter but it can't be saved." Bradley was pleading with his husband but got no response back and this worried him. He looked over and Jake was losing altitude and fast.

"I think is communication has gone out." Bob said watching his squad member lose control of his jet.

"Hangman, you need to eject." Goose said trying to get through to his son-in-law but got nothing in return.

"Come on Hangman. Don't do this to us." Natasha said as she watched helplessly and after 5 minutes or so they watched him nose dive right to the ground and eject as much too close to the ground as everyone was silent as the plane burst into flames and hoping a parachute had opened up.

"I'm going after him." Bradley said after 15 minutes of just flying around trying to see anything.

"Negative. We head back to the ship and let search and rescue find him." Maverick said and it was silent but Bradley wasn't going to do that.

"I'm going after him." He said and turned his jet around just as soon as a stray missile shot off from a SAM and hit the backend of his jet and making him go down. Fear struck everyone's hearts especially Goose and Maverick's. Goose just watched his son's go down. Everyone was ordered to return back to the aircraft carrier and as much as they didn't want to they had to.

——————————————————————

Jake went down 20 minutes before Bradley did and he had landed in a puddle that had to freeze over and it was snowing. He was soaked and freezing. The ejection had rattled him so much and he had hit his shoulder and the pain from that just made him lie there. His parachute did open but he was too low to the ground to have a safe landing. "Damn it." Jake said after coming around to his senses and trying to sit up but his shoulder protested and had him crashing back down in the fairly large puddle of cold water. After a few minutes of blinding white-hot pain, he heard a SAM being shot off and then he watched it fly and then hit a jet. "Please don't let it be Bradley." Jake said as his teeth rattled.

When Bradley went down he was able to open his parachute in time and landed safely. Once on the ground, he took off in the direction of the jet wreckage "Jake please be alive and not in that wreckage." Bradley pleaded as he got closer to it. He then saw a body lying in the snow in a puddle and sighed a sigh of relief but then panic started building up and he ran towards him as best as he could. "JAKE!" Bradley yelled and he didn't get a response. The pain had become so bad for Jake that he had passed out and was just lying there in the cold water. "Fuck, Jake." Bradley said but mostly to himself and started pulling him out of the puddle and then realized that he was soaking wet. "Come on, Babe. We have to get you warm." Bradley said as he hoisted Jake up with each arm under his armpits. Jake stirred a little bit, he knew that voice so he forced his eyes open.

"Bradley?" Jake asked slurring his words and then the pain hit "Shoulder. Stop. Hurts." Jake said.

"Yeah, it's me. Let's get out of this water and then I'll put you down. I'm sorry." Bradley said and true to his word once he was out of the water he put him down.

"You're not supposed to be here." Jake said teeth chattering.

"I couldn't just leave my husband and the father of my child alone." Bradley said and began trying to get them something dry to sit on and figured the parachute would have to do.

"I'm sorry." Jake said and Bradley looked at him, he was soaked and his helmet was off and his hair was wet. He was shivering and that made Bradley's heart break.

"For what?" Bradley asked

"For going down and then you being down here with me.

"Baby, I would go to the end of the earth for you." Bradley said cuddling him close trying to give him some body heat.

"I love you." Jake said and Bradley smiled and dropped a kiss onto Jake's wet head.

"I love you too. Now keep fighting. We have a little girl waiting at home for us." Bradley said as Jake shivered and Bradley held him closer. He just prayed and hoped that they would find them soon.

——————————————————————

Ice had just picked Y/N up from school with Slider and they were heading to a little café that everyone had grown to love, they were meeting Carole there. As they were driving Y/N and Slider were talking nonstop about something they both had an interest in and Ice just smiled. They finally arrived at the café and he parked just as soon as his phone rang. It was from a restricted number and his heart sank. Slider saw it too. "Go and take her in to meet Carole. I'm gonna answer this." Ice said and Slider nodded as he made quick work of getting the little girl out as Ice answered the phone.

"Hello." Ice said in a professional voice.

"Hey, it's me." Maverick said Ice could tell something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Ice asked

"Bradley and Jake went down. They have search and rescue looking for them now. It's been 3 hrs." Maverick said and Ice's heart dropped.

"Do I need to tell Carole?" Ice asked voice starting to shake.

"Yes but make sure Y/N/N isn't there." Maverick said "Just to be on the safe side and we find them soon. I know how she gets when she gets worried." Maverick said and Ice nodded.

"Bring them home." Ice said

"We will. I love you." Maverick said

"I love you too." Ice replied and then they hung up. Now he has to tell Carole and Slider.

Ice sat in his truck and then took a breath and got out and walked into the building and to where the others were. "Slider, why don't you take Sunshine to look at the menu." Ice said and when Slider looked up and saw the look on Ice's face he knew not to argue and did just that.

"Come on, Y/N/N. Let's go see what we want to eat." Slider said and picked the girl up and then Ice turned to Carole who was quiet.

"Who is it?" Carole asked knowing that look on his face.

"Jake and Bradley." Ice said and Carole let a few tears leak out.

"How bad?" She asked wiping them away.

"Maverick didn't tell me. They haven't found them and it's been 3 hrs." Ice said and then pulled her into a hug once he moved to sit next to her. "You know, Y/N said that she had a nightmare about this happening." Ice said.

"When?" She asked

"This morning." He said

"She knew. She always knows when something happens to her daddies." Carole said and then put her emotions back as Slider and Y/N came back. Ice looked at her.

"Tell me what you want and Slider and I'll go order the food." He said and she nodded and told her and they walked off leaving Carole and her granddaughter to their own devices while food was being ordered.

"Who?" Slider asker and Ice sighed.

"Jake and Bradley." He told him and Slider paled.

"Do they know anything?" He asked and Ice shook his head.

"They haven't found them and it's been 3 hrs." Ice said

"For everyone's sake, I hope they find them fast." Slider said and Ice nodded and ordered the food.

——————————————————————

In the 8th hour, the search and rescue helicopter finally found them and landed. They were quick to rush to them at some point Jake passed out and Bradley was so cold that he had fallen asleep but woke up when he heard shouting.

"Lt. Commander Bradshaw, are you ok?" One of the medics asked he nodded.

"Just a little cold. It's him you have to worry about." Bradley said nodded down to his husband and they nodded and he helped them get Jake up on the backboard and onto the helicopter. They wrapped a blanket around both.

"Sorry for making you both wait so long. We had trouble locating you and had to make sure the coast was clear." Someone said and Bradley nodded not caring about what was being said just worried about his husband and the father of their daughter. Jake was unconscious and his lips were turning a tinge of blue. They got them up and going and before they knew it they were back on the aircraft carrier and headed to the med wing.

"Bradley." Maverick said and he turned to look at him and noticed his father was there too. They hugged each other and the questions started. Once everything was sorted "I'm gonna see if I can call Ice." He said and they nodded leaving Bradley and Goose together waiting on their loved one.

When Maverick got to his office he closed the door and sighed in relief. They were safe but Jake was not out of the woods. Now it was time to call Ice and get Bradley and Jake back to their little girl. He dialed Ice's number and it rang twice before he picked up.

"Mav?" Ice's voice came through.

"They found them." Maverick said and he heard Ice sigh in relief.

"How are they?" Ice asked

"They haven't told me anything but it looks like Jake is going through a serious case of hypothermia and Bradley seems ok just a little shaken up but looks unscathed. Goose is with him waiting for news on Jake." Maverick explained to his husband who had gone quiet and that was understandable.

"Do I need to wait to tell Carole and Slider?" Ice asked

"You're the Admiral you can tell them if you want." Maverick smiled and chuckled and Ice chuckled.

"That is true. When will you guys be home?" Ice asked

"They're flying them out as soon as possible and the rest of us will be scheduled for the regular time. Goose will probably go with Jake and Bradley." Maverick said and Ice nodded even though Maverick couldn't see it.

"Get home safely and don't forget that I love you." Ice said and Maverick smiled.

"I love you too. See you soon." Maverick said and then they both hung up.

Goose came in after they ended the phone call and Maverick looked over to him. "They're flying Jake, Bradley, and I out in 10 minutes." He said and Maverick nodded.

"That's good. Go on and I'll meet you on land and meet you at the hospital." Maverick said and then Maverick pulled his RIO into a hug and they stayed like that for a few minutes until they parted and Goose headed out of the office getting ready to leave with the helicopter.

——————————————————————

Ice had just gotten off the phone with Maverick around 9 PM. Carole and Slider were over after having supper and then watched a movie that Y/N insisted on watching and not 20 minutes into the movie she was out like a light snoring on lightly on Slider. When Ice had gotten the call he had walked out of the room. He walked in and they looked at him. "They got them." Ice said loud enough to hear but quiet enough not to wake the sleeping child. Everyone side in relief.

"How are they?" Carole asked happy tears streaming down her face.

"Maverick hasn't heard much about Jake's condition but it looks like he is going through a serious case of hypothermia and Bradley seems ok just a little shaken up but looks unscathed. Maverick said that Goose was with Bradley waiting for news on Jake." Ice said "He also told me that they were flying Jake, Bradley, and Goose back as soon as possible." He added.

"What do we do now?" Slider asked

"We wait until they give us a call and tell us which hospital they're taking him too." He said and they nodded and he sat down and they finished watching the movie. Not even 15 minutes more into the movie Ice got the call and told them what hospital they were taking Jake too, they were also taking Bradley just to him get checked over since he too was out in the cold.

"What about Y/N?" Slider asked and Ice and Carole looked at each other.

"Do you mind staying here with her until everything gets settled and conditions are talked about?" Ice asked and Slider nodded.

"Of course, your guys are like family. I would do anything for you especially this little girl." He nodded down to the sleeping child who had yet to wake and had only moved to change positions. Ice and Carole thanked him and they were on their way after kissing their granddaughter goodbye.

They took separate cars to the hospital and luckily it wasn't too far away from the house. They got their in no time. They parked next to each other and walked into the building and were met by Goose who rushed to his wife and hugged her and then hugged Ice. "They just took Jake back and Bradley." He said once he released Ice and they nodded and went to sit in the waiting room. "Where's Chick?" Goose asked.

"She's with Slider. We figured she shouldn't be here until we knew of conditions and she was asleep." Carole said as she leaned further into her husband. 10 minutes later the doctor, who knew them very well.

"We really need to stop meeting under circumstances like this." Dr. Rachel Hayes said trying to lighten the mood and it worked a little bit. "Bradley is fine he'll be sore and that's it. Jake on the other hand is in critical condition. From what Bradley said and the medical team said he had laid in a puddle of cold water for awhile and was soaked head to toe and he had dislocated shoulder, which we put back into place. He also had some broken ribs and looks like a broken wrist but nothing to serious to end his career." She said and everyone nodded as they listened.

"You guy's can see him but just prepare yourselves." She said and led them the way to Jake. Bradley was already in there by his husband's side. Bradley looked up and got up and hugged his mother and Ice. "Let me know if he wakes up or something goes on." She said and everyone nodded.

"Where's Y/N?" Bradley asked going to sit back down by his husband's side while looking at them.

"Slider has her. Carole and I figured we would see you first and asses the situation before bringing her here. Plus she was as asleep." Ice said and he nodded.

"It was bad guys. The mission was successful but his fuel tank was hit and he was going down and then his communication went out. I followed after him and a stray SAM deployed and hit my backside and luckily I ejected high enough unlike Jake. I thought I was going to lose him and I thought Y/N was going to lose her dad." Bradley said as he looked at the now intubated Jake watching his chest rise and fall and listening to his heart monitor. Everyone's heart broke. "When do you think we should bring Y/N in?" Bradley asked looking up from his husband.

"Maybe not for a couple of days. Let Jake rest and let you rest." Carole said and he nodded.

"I'm gonna call Slider and let him know the plan." Ice said and they nodded and now it was just the Bradshaw and Bradshaw-Seresin family. A few minutes later Ice was coming back in and sitting with the family members.

——————————————————————

It had been a week and Dr. Rachel Hayes was in and out checking in on Jake and each day was better than before and they were grateful for that. One day while Bradley was the only one in there while the rest went home to grab some things and pick up Maverick, Dr. Hayes had walked in and checked on Jake and Bradley normally she would have a nurse come in but she insisted that she be the one to check up on him. "Dr. Hayes?" Bradley asked and she looked up and over at him.

"Yes?" She asked

"You remember our daughter, right?" He asked and she nodded with a smile. "When can she see him?" He asked.

"At this point. I would say anytime. Just understand that it may be little but traumatic for her. I just ask that she doesn't cuddle with him at this time nit until he's awake." She said with a smile and Bradley nodded.

"I understand. She had to deal with me while I was in the hospital due to a training accident 6 months back." Bradley said and she nodded she remembered that she wasn't on shift or call that time due to taking a vacation. She nodded and then left and Bradley looked over at Jake. "I don't know if you can hear me or not but I need to say this. You need to come back to us. I need you. Your baby girl needs you." He said and kissed his forehead. Goose, Carole, and Maverick had just walked into the room and everyone greeted each other and Bradley updated them on Jake's condition. "Dr. Hayes said that we could bring Y/N in anytime since his condition is better." Bradley said.

"When do you want to do that?" Maverick asked

"I was thinking now." He said and everyone nodded.

"I'll call Slider to bring her on in." Ice said and they nodded and he walked out of the room. Nobody talked and that was ok. 5 minutes later Ice was walking back in "He'll be here in 10. He also said that he would tell her what is going on." He said and they nodded.

10 minutes later Slider was walking in with Y/N and when she saw Bradley she practically leapt into his arms when he stood up and walked over to them "Daddy!" She yelled out and he hugged her like his life depended on it and tears fell from his eyes. "Why you cry, Daddy?" She asked looking at him and wiping his tears and that made everyone start to cry.

"I'm just happy to see you, Honey." Bradley said truth was that she reminded him of Jake and that hurt.

"Papa?" She asked looking at him.

"He's ok just sleep." Bradley said and she tried to go to him but he stopped her "No, Honey you can't cuddle with him right now." He said and that made her cry.

"But, Daddy. Papa." She said and cried harder and tried harder to get to him but he stopped her everytime.

"Soon, Honey. I promise." Bradley said and she seemed ok with that answer because she settled down but pouted. Seconds, minutes, and hours went by with no update. Y/N had gone to sleep around 9 PM and was sleeping soundly in Bradley's arms. Most of everyone went home besides Carole and Goose. They had offered to take Y/N home but Bradley refused to give her up.

4 more days went by and it was during the night when Jake started to come around. Bradley and Y/N were asleep on the couch and Goose was up while Carole was asleep on the other couch. Goose watched Jake's eyes open and he smiled and was thankful when he didn't start to panic. Goose and he had a silent conversation and then Goose was up and heading to the nurse's station where they paged Dr. Hayes who was there in no time with some nurses. Carole had woken up and joined Goose but hadn't woken up the other father and daughter they had been the ones that were up the most. Dr. Hayes and her team quickly got him extubated and instructions were made and she was leaving. She had also given permission for Y/N to cuddle with Jake.

The commotion had woken Bradley up unfortunately and he was up in a instant without waking their daughter up. Goose and Carole stood back and cried as they reunited and kissed each other. "We're going to go and get some coffee and leave you three be." Goose said and Bradley and Jake nodded not being able to say anything with out breaking down but once they were gone they broke down and started talking.

"I thought I lost you, Babe." Bradley said and kissed Jake.

"I know, Baby. But I'm here. I heard what you said and kept fighting." Jake said "Now where is my Sweets?" He asked Bradley and he chuckled.

"Sleeping but I'll get her." He said and walked over to her and picked her up and walked her over.

"Dr. Hayes said that she was good to cuddle." Jake said and Bradley nodded.

"I heard." Bradley said and smiled and gently laid her down next to Jake. She snuggled into him recognizing the scent and warmth of her other father and that woke her up immediately.

"Papa?" She asked sleepily.

"Hey, Sweets. I missed you." He said and she hugged him like it was her lifeline. Carole and Goose had came back to the scene of her sitting in bed looking at Jake full of love and Bradley doing the same at both of them. They gave them a few more minutes before they walked in. When they did everyone greeted everyone and talking began catching up. Y/N tried to keep awake but the battle of sleep won and she had fallen back to sleep on Jake.

——————————————————————

Over the next few days everyone came and saw him and Jake was back to his cocky self that everyone loved. Maverick and Ice visited a lot since they were family. When Jake was released he was told to take it easy and he did and before he knew it he was back up in the air doing what he did best and taking care of his little girl.

As he was putting her to bed one night after insisting that he wanted to do it and told Bradley to go onto bed. He laid in bed with her on his chest as she snoozed away. He laid there awake thinking about if he didn't make it but he wasn't going to let that happen because he loved his family too much and he had to fight for his and Bradley's child. She was their whole world. "I love you, Sweets. I'm not leaving anytime soon." He told her and kissed the top of her head and then he drifted off to sleep. A few minutes later when Bradley rolled over and didn't feel Jake he grew confused and got up and to search for him. He couldn't find him anywhere until he remembered that he put their daughter to bed. So, he went there and opened the door and light from the hallway and her night light filled the room.

"That's where you are." Bradley said to himself and smiled when he saw Jake and Y/N cuddled up on her twin bed both laying the same way and snoring lightly, he shook his head she was defiantly a perfect mix of them. He thought about waking him but figured Jake needed all the cuddling from his little girl that he needed. He would get his cuddles later. He walked in and threw an extra blanket over Jake and then kissed both of their heads "I love you both so much." He said and then slipped out of her room and cracking the door and then walking back to his and Jake's room while turning off the hallway light. He got into bed and quickly fell back to sleep knowing his daughter and husband were safe and sound just two doors down.

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gimmethatagustd · 2 months

Text

venor (3) | kth + jjk

The barista at the university’s café keeps telling Jungkook not to come back, but Jungkook is too busy daydreaming about kissing the beauty marks on his face to be paying attention to his warnings.

○ Pairing: Tiger!Taehyung x Bunny!Jungkook

○ Rating: Explicit/18+

○ Genre: Hybrids, predator/prey, college au, strangers to lovers, slow burn, fluff, light angst, eventual smut

○ Word Count: 3,419

○ Warnings: None

○ Notes: Honestly, I feel sorry for Yoongi. He's doing his best 🫠

○ Post Date: February 18, 2024

○ Masterlist | AO3 Cross-Post

○ What was Jai listening to? The series playlist

Biting his bottom lip, Jungkook stares at the text message’s timestamp from five minutes ago. He cups his phone in his hands to block anyone from peering at the screen and dims the screen’s brightness, just in case the predators standing in line with him get nosy.

He’s at the cafe.

Obviously, he’s at the cafe.

It’s a Sunday afternoon, and Jungkook has no idea if Taehyung works weekends, but he’s here at Venor Cafe, waiting in line between a lizard hybrid and a jaguar hybrid. This time, though, Jungkook came prepared. He’s wearing a pair of loose sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt that falls past his butt. He used one of Yoongi’s hair ties to secure his ears and stuff them inside his bucket hat. Totally incognito. He could be a tiger, for all they know!

The thing is, Jungkook genuinely needs some caffeine. He’s taking a break from studying with Yoongi in the music studios, and Venor Cafe is the coffee shop closest to campus that isn’t overpriced. The possibility of seeing Taehyung is an added bonus, just a tiny extra component to the self-care errand Jungkook was planning to run anyway.

At least, that’s what he tells himself.

There’s a little jitter to Jungkook’s movements as he approaches the counter. His wide eyes scan the employees, and his heart sinks when there’s not a single copper curl in sight.

“Hello! Welcome to Venor Cafe; what would you like today?” the hybrid at the register greets. She’s a snow leopard with beautiful blue eyes and a spotted tail.

Exhaling the air he’d been holding in, Jungkook rambles off his order without any mishaps. He even orders something for Yoongi, hoping it can be a sufficient apology for going against his hyung’s advice. It’s nice of Yoongi to be worried about Jungkook, but at this point, Jungkook thinks he has made it clear that he can take care of himself. Just look at him now! A prey in disguise.

Despite the crowd that has gathered in the cafe, Jungkook receives his order fairly quickly. He lingers for a bit, folding napkins into the pockets of his sweatpants and unwrapping straws for both drinks he bought. Eventually, he runs out of things to keep himself busy and can no longer stall.

“Um, excuse me?” Jungkook calls out from the side of the counter.

The snow leopard hybrid looks up from the drink she’s preparing. “Yes?”

“Is, um, Taehyung working today?”

“Who’s asking?” Her tone isn’t necessarily aggressive, but the downturn of her mouth and the wrinkles between her eyebrows match the defensive question.

“Jungkook,” he replies, too caught off guard to know how else to answer but with the truth – even if Taehyung won’t even know who Jungkook is if his coworker mentions it to him later.

After appraising Jungkook and likely deciding he doesn’t look like a threat, the snow leopard replies with a simple,

“No.”

“Cool, cool. Um, thanks!”

Jungkook lifts the drinks and paper bag of mini donuts he’d bought with gratitude before ducking out of the cafe through the front doors. So much for fixing his bad first impression. Or was it his second? Third? At this point, Jungkook can’t keep track of all the failed opportunities to introduce himself to Taehyung as a normal person would.

Jungkook treks back to the library, balancing the drinks and snacks rather precariously through doors pushed by his hips and kicked open by his sneakers. He and Yoongi have reserved a study room similar to the one Jungkook often books with Suyun. Private study rooms are handy when he and Yoongi don’t feel like dealing with predators misusing the library space and treating it like a social hour.

Yoongi is curled up in the corner of the study room. He decided to forgo the table and sat on a beanbag he dragged from another room in the library. Jungkook thinks it’s typical cat behavior, though he doesn’t dare comment on it. Yoongi might not have claws, but his eyes shoot daggers.

“You went to the damn cafe, Jeon Jungkook.” Yoongi’s tail swats at the ground before flicking back up in the air.

“I brought back snacks!” Jungkook hip-bumps the door to close it and plops on the floor with Yoongi, holding out the iced Americano he knows his friend will like. “A drink for you, a drink for me, and donuts to share. I’m an amazing roommate.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” Yoongi complains around a mouthful of donuts.

“You love me.”

“Sometimes, Jungkook, I think you are a bit naive.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and gets up onto his knees to reach his laptop on the table. Careful not to knock anything over, he settles on the floor with his laptop on his thighs and his back leaning against the wall.

“Optimism and friendliness are different than naivety. You wouldn’t know because you’re a grumpy old man,” Jungkook points out as he pulls his hat off. When he finally unties his ears, he massages the base of each as they flop back into place, sore from being pulled backward at such an unnatural angle.

Yoongi closes the book he’s reading and smacks Jungkook in the shoulder with it.

“Take that back.”

“No!”

“Hmph,” Yoongi grunts, sounding just as grumpy as Jungkook knows that he is.

The two hybrids are silent for a while, both focused on their studies. Jungkook is working on designing a mobile app for one of his classes— it’s a video game similar to the Pokemon games he would play on his GameBoy when he was younger. From the looks of it, Yoongi is reading a novel, though Jungkook isn’t sure if it’s for fun or for class. That’s always how it is with the creative types, he supposes.

“Well,” Yoongi says slowly after clearing his throat. It comes out stunted, a little awkward. “Did you see your tiger?”

Cheeks heating up, Jungkook slumps against the wall and shrugs his shoulders to his ears.

“I didn’t…”

“But?” Yoongi gives Jungkook a sidelong look.

“But… he’s kind of in one of my classes now, so I’ll see him on Tuesday…”

Bewildered, Yoongi sets his book down and turns to look at Jungkook. His tail smacks Jungkook’s leg and wraps around his ankle, though Jungkook doesn’t think Yoongi even realizes it due to how excitable he’s getting. Jungkook still doesn’t know why this is such a big deal.

“How is he in one of your classes?”

“Hyung, I’m trying to do my assignment.”

“How, Jungkook?”

With a sigh, Jungkook puts his laptop on the floor and shakes his leg free of Yoongi’s tail.

“I don’t know. He just showed up last week. My friend said sometimes predators get to take classes with prey if they want to overload their courses to graduate faster.”

Suyun is probably correct; she’s one of the most intelligent people Jungkook knows. Jungkook doesn’t mention that she was the one who told him, though. He doesn’t want Yoongi coming up with any ideas about Jungkook being friends with one of the only prey students dating a predator on their campus.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi gives him an exasperated look, “I’ve heard bad things about that specific group of predators that Taehyung hangs out with.”

The confession doesn’t sit right with Jungkook. It feels like Yoongi is overreacting, and it reminds him of his parents. So many prey hybrids let fear and paranoia dictate how they live and who they spend time with. Jungkook doesn’t want to be like that, not anymore.

“And where did you get this information?” he challenges with his arms crossed.

Yoongi waves his hand, gesturing all around them.

“Everyone knows this. It’s common knowledge. They’re shady, okay? Starting fights at parties, drugs, sleeping around, stuff like that.”

Jungkook has lived a sheltered life, but everything Yoongi lists sounds like typical college behavior — at least, what Jungkook has heard about predator college students. Maybe he is naive.

“I promise I won’t do any of that stuff, hyung,” Jungkook says with a tug of Yoongi’s ear. “I’m a good kid.”

Yoongi scowls and smacks at Jungkook’s hand.

“A nuisance is more like it. Now do your assignment.”

On Tuesday, Jungkook arrives at his class on time, not out of breath and not sweating through his clothes. He crosses through the double doors at the back of the lecture hall and eyes the tiered seating as other students shuffle down the aisles. There are plenty of seats available since class hasn’t started yet. Near the front of the room, Jungkook spots Suyun talking with another student. Jungkook would immediately head for the fold-down seat beside Suyun any other day. He’d pull out the adjustable desk attached to the seat and prep his notebook for the day’s lesson, maybe even get out his phone to record the audio in case he got distracted. Jungkook wouldn’t hesitate to go to his usual seat any other day.

But today, Taehyung is on time.

The tiger hybrid sits in the back like he did the week prior. Again, Jungkook thinks Taehyung looks too big for the seat, his long legs and broad shoulders sticking out compared to the smaller frames of his prey classmates. His striped tail drapes over the armrest of the seat next to him, and his ears flick as Jungkook approaches him.

“Can I sit here?” Jungkook asks, the words nearly sticking in his throat.

Setting down the pencil he’d been twirling between his fingers, Taehyung turns his head to look Jungkook up and down. The slow drag of his gaze makes Jungkook’s skin prickle. Taehyung’s sharp, feline eyes trigger Jungkook’s fight-or-flight response. It takes tensing his muscles for Jungkook not to bolt down the aisle and sit with Suyun instead.

Part of Jungkook knows that this is an instinctual response to being near a predator. He wonders if Suyun still feels this way about Jackson or if she has gotten used to him enough that her body doesn’t react like this anymore.

An even tinier part of Jungkook thinks that, maybe, he kind of… likes it…

The adrenaline is exciting, and the dangerous energy Taehyung gives off makes Jungkook feel wanted – in a way he never has before.

Jungkook may be a bit naive, but he’s not stupid. He notices that Taehyung’s eyes linger on the smooth expanse of skin his shorts reveal. Jungkook silently thanks his morning self for picking a cute outfit for the day. He feels much better in cute jean shorts, a striped rugby shirt, and his artfully dirty white Converse than the usual athleisure he wears when he’s feeling lazy. Still, Taehyung’s predatory gaze makes Jungkook’s cheeks heat up, yet he refuses to look away when Taehyung’s feline eyes meet his again.

“Of course, bun,” Taehyung finally responds with a low purr that vibrates from his chest.

“Um, thanks!” A bit flustered by the unexpected use of the nickname in the middle of class, Jungkook quickly sits down beside Taehyung.

Jungkook tries retrieving his notebook from his backpack, dropping it on the floor twice before finally getting his desk in order. He can feel Taehyung’s gaze while getting his phone out to prepare the audio recording. A text message from Suyun is the first thing that pops up on his phone screen, and he sincerely hopes Taehyung doesn’t see it because it’s a complaint from Suyun about Jungkook ditching her for a predator.

Digging around in his backpack, Jungkook’s fingers scrape the bottom and find his back empty aside from his tablet and a binder. He’d been so worried about getting to class on time that he forgot his little sparkly gold zipper bag that carries his pencils and pens. This is what he gets for being old school and enjoying a break from electronics in his courses that aren’t for his major.

With a sigh, Jungkook leans back in his seat and weighs the pros and cons of asking Taehyung for something to write with or just using his laptop to take notes like most other students. He doesn’t have to worry about it for long before Taehyung decides for him.

“Need one of these, bun?” Taehyung whispers close to Jungkook’s ear, his breath tickling his neck from Taehyung leaning in.

With a shiver, Jungkook gently takes the pen Taehyung offers. It’s lightweight but smooth and inky, satisfyingly gliding across the page of Jungkook’s notebook.

“This is a nice pen,” Jungkook whispers back and feels silly for complimenting Taehyung’s pen.

Taehyung winks at Jungkook with a low chuckle before returning his focus to their professor.

Jungkook tries not to show how flustered he is, but he’s sure his scent sweetens with how embarrassed and nervous Taehyung makes him.

Unfortunately, class passes the same as it had last time– with Jungkook daydreaming about Taehyung and all the questions he has for him, and Taehyung being such a diligent student that Jungkook never catches him looking his way. Whatever Suyun said about Taehyung watching him must have been a figment of her imagination because Jungkook is positive he would notice if it was true.

Jungkook notices everything.

Taehyung’s fuzzy ears flick every time Jungkook shifts in his seat. He switches hands to write halfway through the lecture, perhaps because one of them got tired. His scent spikes closer to the end of class, that soothing smell of summer rain that makes Jungkook tingly all over.

It should be embarrassing how much time Jungkook spends thinking about the predator beside him and not what his professor is teaching, but it’s not his fault Taehyung is so alluring.

“And as a reminder,” Professor Jung raises his voice in anticipation of the noisy buzz that comes with the end of class as students pack up, “We’ll be choosing final project topics soon, so please don’t let that fall by the wayside.”

Jungkook has definitely let his project ideas fall by the wayside. It’s fine; he performs well under pressure.

Catching Suyun’s eye across the room, Jungkook sends a silent prayer that she doesn’t come charging up to him with Taehyung still in his seat. He tries subtly shaking his head at her, but he’s not sure his point gets across.

“Thanks, by the way.” Jungkook holds out the pen, but Taehyung doesn’t even look at it.

“Keep it.”

“But,” Jungkook watches Taehyung pack up his backpack, “It’s yours.”

“And now it’s yours.”

“But I don’t need it.”

Wearing a lazy grin, Taehyung grips the edge of Jungkook’s desk and leans in slightly, even as Jungkook subconsciously leans back.

“Y’know,” Taehyung begins with a lick of his bottom lip. When the grin returns, Taehyung reveals sharp canines that extend slightly further than the rest of his teeth. “I heard you missed me over the weekend, Jungkook.”

Before Jungkook’s cheeks even flush a deep pink, Taehyung is already pushing himself up to stand at full height. He gives Jungkook one last look and slips past him down the row of seats, never leaving Jungkook’s sight until he’s through the classroom’s double doors.

“What the hell was that?” Suyun is on Jungkook with a quickness, her large, rounded ears sticking up out of her straight hair.

Jungkook exhales slowly. “I… don’t know?”

Gathering his notebook and Taehyung’s pen, Jungkook almost misses the slip of paper folded in half and teetering on the edge of his desk. It’s intentionally folded and perfectly aligned at the edges, and the paper looks different than that of Jungkook’s notebook.

He doesn’t mean to be secretive, but Jungkook twists in his seat to hide the note when he opens it. Suyun is trustworthy; there’s no questioning that. Still, Jungkook wants to have the chance to process whatever this note is before he shares it with anyone else.

It’s a good call, considering what’s scrawled on the inside in small, messy lines.

vante95 2 pm Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 10 am Saturdays

Jungkook refolds the paper and shoves it in his pocket. His entire face burns like a summer wildfire. He can barely stand up without tripping over himself, and he slings his backpack over his shoulder with shaking hands.

Taehyung gave him his KakaoTalk and work schedule.

Taehyung essentially invited Jungkook to text him and visit him at work.

Jungkook thinks he might be sick from how nervous he suddenly feels.

“Earth to Jungkookie,” Suyun shoves Jungkook in the arm as they go about their typical routine of walking to the library after class to study. “What is going on with you and that tiger, huh? You’ve been acting so weird the last week.”

Chewing his bottom lip, Jungkook contemplates how to answer Suyun’s questions. He opts for the truth, spilling his little no-so-secret infatuation with the predator in hushed whispers as they cross the main quad in front of the library.

“Do you think I should text him?” Jungkook holds the wrinkled note out for Suyun to read. A curious smile brightens her face, exposing her cute buck teeth.

“Oh my gosh, yes. He’s so cute, Jungkook! Don’t believe all that silly stuff about predators being bad. They’re not all so terrible,” Suyun urges.

If anyone knows what it’s like to trust a predator, it would be Suyun. Her encouragement is all the permission Jungkook needs to open the app on his phone and type in Taehyung’s KakaoTalk ID.

Jungkook doesn’t know why he expects an immediate response; he already knows Taehyung has work right now. Still, he feels disappointment sink like a rock in his gut after five minutes pass and his message is still unread. Should he have waited to text him? Does it seem desperate to send him a message so quickly after receiving his contact info?

Trying to pull himself together, he gets settled in a study room with Suyun and puts his phone on Do Not Disturb. He may be determined to get to know the mysterious tiger hybrid, but school will always come first.

Suyun stands at the whiteboard, which takes up an entire wall. She works diligently to draw diagrams of something chemistry-related that Jungkook doesn’t understand– many lines connecting hexagons and acronyms he doesn’t recognize. Jungkook may be studying science, but not that kind of science.

“So,” Suyun asks as she writes mathematical equations in pink marker that look more confusing than the hieroglyphs they were just studying, “Do you like going here better than your other school?”

“I do, but I think it’s a lot harder here. I feel like all I do is study.”

Suyun laughs and smiles over her shoulder at Jungkook.

“I totally get that. We need to do something fun, maybe go clubbing. I could see if Jackson’s friends are throwing any house parties. I feel like there’s usually a few of them right before finals, as like, a morale boost.”

“I’ve never actually been to a party…” Jungkook admits quietly, though rather than embarrassment, he feels giddiness at the prospect of experiencing another new college experience he was previously denied.

Suyun whips around and accidentally flings her marker across the room. Giggling, Jungkook gets up to search for the marker.

“Oh my gosh, Jeon Jungkook, we are going to a party. What else haven’t you done? I need to pop your cherry.”

“What!” Jungkook nearly shrieks. The shock of her statement makes Jungkook mess up his throw, and he ends up nearly chucking the marker in Suyun’s face.

“Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m not, like, trying to take your virginity. Is that what you thought?”

Jungkook hides behind his laptop once he returns to his seat. He’s not ready to admit that, yes, he is a virgin. Admitting that usually gets him weird stares and inappropriate comments. One time, an old friend of Jungkook’s said he “screamed virgin”– whatever that means!

“Maybe we can start with a house party and go from there…” Jungkook offers with a suspicious look thrown at Suyun’s back. Maybe dating a predator has had an impact on the mouse hybrid, who otherwise should be naturally timid and prudish.

“Sure, sure. I’ll text Jackson right now. We’ll have all week to figure everything out.”

When Suyun reaches for her phone, Jungkook impulsively checks his as well. His heart leaps into his throat, and his palms sweat when he checks the notifications he’d silenced during their study session.

Series Masterlist

Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories.

All rights reserved © @gimmethatagustd - Do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my writing. Do not use my writing for any AI purposes whatsoever. Do not use my fics for anything aside from reading and commenting on them. My fics will only be posted on this Tumblr and on AO3 (gimmethatagustd & daddytaehyungie). Request an AO3 account here.

#taekook #taehyung x jungkook #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #jai writes #gimmethatagustd #venor

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gtgbabie0 · 1 year

Text

✧No apologies✧

{Sirius sees your old scars}

!cw for old healed sh scars!

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

It’s a Sunday, and a fresh layer of snow blanket’s the street and the stationary cars and you’re watching as small flakes of white flutter from the pewter grey clouds while you lay back on Sirius’ bed, it’s bleak but yet such a beautiful day.

“Hey hunny bunny” Sirius walks into the room, smiling at how peaceful you look, and you burst into a fit of giggles at his silly nickname.

You sit up crossed-legged, giving him a quizzical look, “Honey bunny?— I think they’re getting worse” you chuckle as you pull a pillow onto your lap, your hands smoothing over the fabric.

“What, it isn’t doing anything for you?” He smirks as he plops himself down by you, you bounce slightly as the mattress moves with his extra add weight, and you shake your head.

“No, it’s not doing much for me” you smile rolling your eyes.

And he shifts closer to you, taking his hand and gently cupping your cheek his thumb grazes just under your eye and you get this sudden urge to close your eyes and bask in his loving touch.

“Well how about, sweet thing?... Or angel?... Or darling?” Sirius whispers, soft lips grazing against your ear, and you giggle at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your skin, goosebumps raiding over your arms at the sensation.

“Oh my god, you’re such a sap” you giggle taking the pillow and hitting him with it over his head, he looks at you with betrayal in his eyes, his mouth open with shock as he scoffs at you.

“Oh yeah? That’s how it’s gonna be huh? That’s fine” He smiles as he reaches behind you grabbing another pillow and hits you with it, over and over and you laugh until your lungs hurt, and a string of sorries fall from you as you beg for forgiveness.

You lay back down on the bed trying to avoid his relentless attacks and you push your hands to his shoulders while he looms over you, “Okay okay you win— you win, I’m sorry” you giggle a small wave of relief washes over you when he discards the pillow.

“I always win, lovely” he boasts, you roll your eyes at his smugness, and he leans down pressing a tender kiss to the corner of your mouth, whispering some comment about a ‘victory kiss’

Sirius sits back on his knees looking down at your joyful expression, how your face softens with tranquility, and he thinks about how absolutely beautiful you are and he still can’t believe he gets to call you his.

You watch as his eyes glance over you, and you suddenly feel all giddy inside, all your worries dissipate as if the world didn’t exist outside this small room.

You notice his eyes drift over to your thighs, and how his brows knit together in an almost worrisome way, as he takes in the scars that litter them, different lengths some more prominent than others, his eyes widen slightly and concern swims within them, and there’s this odd sinking feeling that erupts in your stomach and you feel as if your heart stops.

You quickly sit up grabbing the pillow beside you to protect yourself from his gaze, and it’s a reminder that you’re broken, you’ve seen that look before and you shouldn’t be surprised by what comes next, the horrible looks and judgmental comments.

You sigh, “I’m sorry, they’re old, like years old I mean— I haven’t— I-“ you quickly try to explain yourself, tripping over your own words, before his mind can jump to any conclusions, you don’t know what else to say and your throat closes up with sudden nauseous.

“No lovely, you don’t have to apologize,” he says with care lacing his tone, and he holds his hand out to you, Sirius watches the hesitation in your movements and it near enough breaks his heart, his thumb grazes gently over your knuckles.

You're taken back by his soft words and you can practically see the cogs moving in his mind as if he has so much he wants to tell you but doesn’t want it to come across badly, “You don’t have to say anything” you whisper and he squeezes your hand gently.

“I love you, it's just— I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide them around me— you don’t have to feel ashamed about them, not around me,” he says and your heart blooms with love, no one has ever been so caring, you’re so used to all the negative reactions, so used to having to cover up for ‘everyone else sake’ and you can’t help the tears that well up in your eyes.

“Oh lovey, hey— come here” Sirius wraps his arms around you, bringing you into his comforting warmth, your head rests against his shoulder as you cry and you feel his hand rub the expanse of your back.

“Thank you Siri” you sniffle as he presses a sweet kiss to the side of your head.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart-“ he pulls away cupping your tearful face in his hand and gently wiping away your tears with his sleeve.

“I was going to tell you, eventually, I just never found the right time,” you tell him, an odd feeling of guilt settling in your chest, “I’m just sorry you find out like this” and he shakes his head with disapproval.

“I don’t want to hear the word ‘sorry’ from you, and you definitely don’t have to explain yourself to me, sweetheart, alright?” He says with such a caring look in his eyes and he steals your lips in a quick loving kiss, his hand resting against your warm cheek, fitting to you like a puzzle piece, "One day, whenever you're ready baby, will you talk to me about it?" he asks, looking into your eyes, you nod as you answer him with a small, 'Yes, of course, I will' and he trusts you entirely pressing another kiss to your forehead.

“I love you so much” he whispers as you let out a breathy giggle, and you feel so warm inside when he looks at you with admiration woven in his eyes.

“I love you too Sirius, so much” you reply with a small sniffle.

You look over at the window noticing the snow that completely covers the street, painting the ground white with fluffy ice-cold powder.

“You erm- you wanna go outside so I can beat your ass in a snowball fight?” You smirk and he scoffs at you, rolling his eyes with a smug smirk.

“Yeah as if” he watches as you rummage through his messy wardrobe for a hoodie, “When I win you have to make me a hot chocolate,” he says with so much confidence and it only lights that small competitive fire within you.

“Okay, and if I win, you have to watch dirty dancing with me” you smile as you wrap a scarf around his neck, making sure the fabric covers his ears, you watch as he rolls his eyes.

“Well it’s a good job you’re gonna lose” he chuckles as you both make your way outside, the bitter coldness nips at your skin, and you're quick to pact some snow into a ball ready to win.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

☾⋆AN// hope you enjoyed my lovelies! Make sure you’re taking care of yourselves and I’m always here if you need a vent or just to talk!! <33

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loganlermanstanaccount · 1 year

Text

Wash Day

pairing: Joel Miller x black!reader, Sarah x platonic!reader.

(AO3 mirror)

summary: pre outbreak, you and Joel help Sarah with a hair crisis.

warnings: none, just disgustingly self indulgent fluff.

a/n: Joel is on the list of canonical fictional snow bunnies. I don't wanna hear shit abt it tbh. The girls that get it….

wc: 700

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sundays were the only day Joel got to sleep in. But at 9.00 am sharp, he stirs, to find rumpled sheets left in your wake. You were out of bed. The time? Earlier than he'd like but he could manage. Almost ten minutes go by and there's no sign of you. He hears the shower turn on and quiet sobs from the bathroom out in the corridor. He leaps out of bed. Shit. What day was it? Opening the door to the bathroom, there you were, rubbing Sarah's back as she sobbed on the tiled floor.

It was wash day in the Miller household; and Joel knows that means hell.

Opened bottles of shampoo and curl creams she had laid waste to covered every inch of the countertop. And there, in its crest, were the tinny speakers of her phone up on YouTube. A hair tutorial; the slimy culprit.

Sarah was distraught, poor thing, her hair heaped in crude buns all over her head. There was a nasty knot at the nape of her neck as you cradled and held her to your chest.

You cooed and petted her, "It's not that bad at all Sarah, just might take some time. If you let me help we can get it done before-"

She cocks her head at the sound of a door opening. Fighting through sobs, "Shit, dad! not nooow,"

He was frozen. He felt useless until you caught his eye and nodded towards the door. Joel backed out as you poked your head around the door.

"We need the wide toothed comb and the leave in on Sarah's desk. Then if you go through my overnight bag you'll find some hair gel and a toothbrush in a makeup bag. Not my actual toothbrush, Joel-"

"-the musty one for your hair, I got it." He winks as you deadpan and close the door in his face. Not the time for jokes, he notes.

You work quickly, considering things. Joel brings extra towels and snacks as he watches you work: steaming and lathering up Sarah's hair with conditioner in the sink, combing out the knots with your fingers. He helps of course, you were just much better at it. Before long, his daughter's hair was braided into sections and knot free. You kissed her forehead gently. Her eyes were still red but she had stopped crying, at least.

"Get the dining table ready and we'll have a go downstairs, okay?"

She lit up, eyes bright, excited that maybe she could have her hair just so. She raced downstairs, towel over her shoulders to set up. Joel's staring now, lovingly. Opening his mouth, you cut him off.

"Don't you dare Miller. It's nothing, the least I can do. She's been talking about that party for weeks now," you busy your hands by clearing up the sink.

"And doing everything at the last minute, as usual." He chuckles.

You roll your eyes. "Give her a break, Joel," He's behind you now, hands on your hips and looking at you through the mirror. He adjusts your headscarf, poking his tongue out in faux concentration. You laugh and he beams.

You had the set up down to a tee now; streamlined for maximum efficiency. You section Sarah's hair whilst she hands you products and tidbits of gossip. Joel makes breakfast, standing in the doorway every now and then to feed you toast. Braiding takes a little longer, especially since Sarah was a perfectionist. But you were used to her demands and had an eye for detail. Deft fingers weaving in and out her hair, precise parting, rinse, repeat. It was almost 2pm when you finally finished. Sarah squeals in delight when you hold up the mirror and show off the final product.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! Emma's gonna be so jealous tonight - oh god and with the dress! Stay here, I'll change quick, and show you my dress!" She clatters upstairs in a hurry.

You practically collapse on the sofa and Joel scoops you up in his arms.

"Where'd you learn to braid like that, sweetheart?“ he asks, covering your jaw and neck in kisses.

You turn to him with a lazy smile.

"My mom. Every couple of weeks, before school started on Monday she'd sit me down and do my hair. And then I'd do my sisters'. It's a whole…. a whole thing. Maybe I'll teach you, Miller."

#maybe ooc #idgaf at this point #joel tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel the last of us #joel x reader #joel miller x black!reader #black!reader #tlou fic #tlou #tlou hbo #and then they all lived happily ever after

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talonabraxas · 27 days

Text

The Spiritual Meaning of the Easter Season

“Regardless of what traditions you follow, the spiritual meaning of Easter is a new light after sacrifice or tribulation.”

As we move into the early spring season and start seeing chocolate eggs and pastel colors in store windows, we know Easter must be on the way. Whether or not we are practicing Christians, Easter is a big holiday. But what is the spiritual meaning of Easter, exactly?

From a Christian perspective, Easter Monday is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ after he died on the cross and then rose again three days later. It comes after the somewhat more somber observance of Good Friday, the day Jesus died on the cross for his people’s sins.

This holiday weekend is actually embedded in a much longer Christian mythology. The rituals start on Shrove Tuesday in March, also known as Pancake Tuesday. This is traditionally the day to eat up all the sugar and butter in your house in advance of Lent, a 40-day period of sacrifice meant to commemorate the 40 days Jesus spent wandering in the desert. The long journey through Lent ends in Easter, which is usually celebrated with food and family.

Like many Christian holidays, however, this one is connected to older mythologies still. You can tell this by the fact that Easter is a movable feast: The date changes each year because it is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring equinox. Easter is also the holiday of the pagan Germanic goddess Eostre, the goddess of the dawn. She is celebrated at springtime, when the light begins to return in the Northern Hemisphere to warm up the earth, bringing with it food, flowers, and the promise of a new season. The eggs and bunnies so often seen around Easter are actually symbols of the Goddess’ fertility.

Easter also tends to coincide pretty closely with the Jewish Passover celebration, which is also a movable feast defined by the lunar calendar. Like Lent, Passover takes place over a number of days and involves some restriction—specifically that leavened bread must not be eaten. This holiday commemorates the liberation of the Israelites from Egypt, including the miraculous moment when God parted the red seas to allow his people to cross. On the other side, the Hebrews wandered for 40 years in the desert before finding their ancestral home, now known as Israel.

The number 40 comes up often in the Bible, and is also a common amount of time used in yoga and other spiritual traditions. You’ll often see 40-day challenges for yoga practices or meditations, and it’s also common time window for healing after childbirth in many cultures. It is also about the amount of time it takes to learn a new habit, heal from an intense experience, or make a change in our lives.

Regardless of what traditions you follow, the spiritual meaning of Easter is a new light after sacrifice or tribulation. We might not be quite through the suffering yet, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

So perhaps this is a time to share food and stories with friends and family (in person or online!), and it might also be a time to go outside and bask in the early spring sunlight (or snow, or rain, or whatever is available at the time), light a candle, write in your journal, or take a bath with floral scented soaps. Paint an egg for the goddess. Take a bite of a chocolate bunny. However you choose to do it, now is the time to honor the spiritual meaning of the season by welcoming the light and hope that come with the spring.

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jackharloww · 1 year

Text

Dad!Jack

Here I write about dad jack! I have two OC children,Grace Harlow and Nathaniel Harlow.

Further down I have pregnancy fics as well. I hope you enjoy ❤️

Grace Harlow

Welcome little baby

The one where You give birth to your daughter

Sleepless nights

The one where Grace wakes up in the middle of the night

Daddy duties

The one where You are sick, and Jack takes care of you and Grace

Dad Jack

The one where Jack is bragging about Gracie

“Give me Grace”

The one where Grace gets her name

“Where’s Gracie’s hand?”

The one where Grace doesn’t want to go to kindergarten

“Carrot is worth it”

The one where Grace’s bunny gets lost

“We got a little carried away”

The one where Jack comes home after being away

”Boo”

The one where it’s Halloween

“Mommy, I want big lips like daddy,”

The one where Jack gets an allergic reaction

”through thick and thin - Postpartum fic

The one where you go through a rough patch

Weekend getaway

The one where Grace is at her grandparent's house while you two go on a weekend

Teething Gracie

The one where Grace wants her dada

Mr. Summer the snowman

The one where you are playing in the snow

Peekaboo

The one where You try to get Grace to laugh

Gracie’s parents

The one where you have a date night

“Euuuw daddy’s feet”

The one where you have a lazy Sunday

Baking gingerbread cookies

The one where you have christmas fun

Christmas morning

The one where Santa comes to visit

Gracie gets sick

The one where Grace gets sick

Family Vacation

The one where Grace goes on her first real vacation

“Why is your tummy so big”

The one where Gracie asks how you got a baby in your stomach

”Don’t forget mamas snacks”

The one where Gracie and Jack go grocery shopping

“You need a time out”

The one where You and Jack argue in front of Grace

Another Bunny

The one where you buy another bunny for baby brother

Nightmares

The one where Jack has nightmares and Grace comforts him

"I want mommy"

The one where Grace wants to sleep next to you, but Jack doesn't want to disturb your sleep.

Passionfruits

The one where Grace tries Passionfruit for the first time

Valentine’s breakfast

The ones where Grace and Jack surprise you with a breakfast

“Yummy”

The one where Jack likes your new chapstick

“Bless you”

The one where Jack is being petty due to lack of “bless yous”

Allergies and cuddles

The one where the family cuddles in bed

Big sister Gracie

The one where Jack reassures you

“Mommy made a big wrong”

The one where you forget Jacks birthday

“Daddy is loud”

The one where Jack snores and Grace can’t sleep

Surgery

The one where Grace removes her tonsils

Daddy and Gracie

The one where Jack and Grace have a cozy home day

Everything will be alright - 2 parts

The one where you have an emergency C-section and give birth to your baby boy

Part 1

Part 2

Catch me if you can

The one where Jack puts his hand on the corner of the counter for Grace

Grace meeting baby brother

The one where Grace meets Nathaniel

“Let it all out”

The one where Jack breaks down after the traumatic birth of your baby boy

“My best cheerleader”

The one where Grace cheers on her dad playing soccer

Blame on me

The one where you finally get the chance to fully listen to Jackman. and have a few comments

Tension in the air

The one where you and Jack have an argument about the kids

Coming home

The one where baby Nathaniel comes home

“I want dada”

The one where Grace wakes Jack up for cuddles

Picnics and checklists

The one where Jack had one job

Zoo day fic + insta Au

The one where You have a day at the zoo

Tweezers and ouchies

The one where Grace picks Jacks eyebrows

Grace’s first beach trip

The one where you take Grace to the beach for the first time

Family night

The one where you have a family night and jack dances with you

Dad night

The one where Jack is alone with the kids and Grace helps him

Big sister duties

The one where Grace wakes up with Nathaniel

Stinky daddy

The one where Jack farts in front of Grace

Grateful for you

The one where Jack buys you flowers

When did you know?

The one where Grace wonders his Jack knew he was in love with you

Grace turns 4

The one where you celebrate Grace's fourth birthday

Grace talking

The one where Grace tells a story

“It’s not nice to scream”

The one where you and Jack get into a heated argument and the kids wake up

Pregnancy fics

Finding out

The one where You find out you’re pregnant (this is my first ever fic for Jack)

Morning sickness

The one where You have horrible morning sickness

Small bumps

The one where Jack talks to the baby

Shopping for the baby

The one where Jack gets impatient

Mood Swings

The one where You get mad at Jack

Baby kicks for the first time

The one where you feel the baby kick for the first time

Not feeling well

The one where You are sick, and Jack takes care of you

Allergies

The one where You get allergies while being pregnant

He is sick

The one where Jack gets sick, but he’s worried about you

Gender reveal

The one where You find out the gender of your baby

Trying to get in labor

The one where You are over your due date

Pregnancy brain

The one where You keep forgetting stuff

Jealous reader

The one where You get possessive over Jack

“Maybe you don’t know any better”

The one where You tell Jack you’re pregnant with baby number two

“That’s LV”

The one where You get nauseous by jacks cologne

Photoshoot

The one where you take family pictures

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axieta · 11 months

Text

Hungry eyes

Henry Winter x reader

Warnings: suggested auto-aggression, abuse and medicine abuse, thoughts of violence, breakdown (dni if you fell like any of the warnings mentioned, even described in a very roundabout way, may impact you negatively, please and thank you)

Chapter 9

Two points of view

Chapter 9

Hours passed. Days. Weeks. The snow fell, perched on my shoulders, on top of my head, in my hands, like a particularly annoying case of dandruff. Years, decades. I was sure that the white powder that made my skin turn pale and then red, that chased shivers all around my body should have already been gone after such a long time. Or maybe it was not snow, truly, but dandruff indeed. After all I had been standing there, in the dodgy parking lot outside of the Cherry flavour, that it might have been as well. Centuries. Lifetimes. All that I had witnessed on that evening and all of it before, the calm before the storm and its sorrowful, unnerving resolution, it all had flashed before me, in my mind’s eye. It all came and went so suddenly, so abruptly, that the screaming memories of the past appeared almost violent to me. Like a crazed stranger running your way along the pavement, screaming, tearing at his hair, tossing, and stumbling, zigzagging along his path, and then passing you and disappearing in the crowd, somewhere behind you, as you shiver once, push your eyelids together in the ultimate expression of horror and disgust.

God, please don’t let him touch me; you think. God don’t let him see me; you pray.

And then the stranger passes, his torn, dirty clothes, a marksman of a homeless bum, disappear from your field of vision, and the only thing that stays with you, the testament to his sorry existence, is that sweetly nauseating smell he leaves behind.

Millennia. Eons. It all passed me in a blink of an eye, or they had not passed at all, and I had just been imagining things. But my body hurt, my arms felt taunt, packed with an unmeasurable tension and my gums swirled with restless swarms of worms. An unwanted, painful reminder of what had been and what turned into ashes in matters of mere seconds.

Standing there, a few meters behind Henry it donned on me how terribly cold it was outside. Only garbed in the delicate, summer shirt I used to wear only at the inaugurations of school year, I started to shake uncontrollably. A full-body convulsion overtook me and a chirp chatter of my teeth, ones hitting the others, filled my ears. My body submitted to the rising wind and the falling temperatures, but I could not feel the cold at all. To the contrary, the pain that shook me so, was birthed directly by the iron-hot waves of heat washing all over my intestines, my skin, pulling over my brows in pearly droplets of sweat.

Henry’s cigarette hit the ground, then the heel of his impeccable, shiny Oxford smothered the last glimpse of flame still flickering with orange hope at the very end of the butt. Merciless stomp, half wet splash in the melting snow on the pavement. And that was it. His hands were shaking, but his face stilled in a terrifying grip of ever frost.

A few weeks later and nothing changed. Not really. We all acted normal, or at least appeared to act normal. Bunny was his usual cheery self, Camilla and Charles kept on with their Sunday dinners, of which we had two before the winter break came tearing us apart and throwing all around the world and Henry maintained his stoic, cold disposition. Nothing shook him no more. He froze in one moment and his face kept that taunt, expressionless grimace I saw right before the bar. His eyes turned sharp, strangely calm. He seemed both very aware of his surroundings and completely detached from them at the same time. In the matter of days, he regressed into the Henry I knew from my first encounter with him – chill, full of distaste and afloat, above all the filth of this world. Even Francis seemed unbothered, or worse, completely oblivious to what has happened in the Cherry flavour. To my deepest surprise, even she herself, wasn’t overly bothered. She talked, she smiled, even joked around. Some of her jokes landed punches against Bunny, but there was nothing aggressive in them, just her characteristically sarcastic remarks mixed with her usual witty climaxes. It was truly, as if nothing had happened. As if I, myself had thought out this elaborate drama in one of my drunken fantastic apparitions and convinced myself of its authenticity. But there was something more to this frozen normalcy of our group. Not only had they brushed the incident, like it was nothing, they had reset themselves to a state of complete neutrality, the one in which I had met them. All the characteristics of the group I came to know and adjusted myself to suddenly vanished leaving behind a bunch of empty, hollowed vessels, of which I knew nothing and whose lives had once again become a complete mystery to me. They changed the sitting places in Julian’s class once again. No longer was Henry besides her. What’s more, I don’t think I saw him anywhere near her since the night at the bar. Long forgotten were the brushes of hands, the solemn and longing stares thrown across tables. No one raced in the gathering snow anymore, nor did anyone read Argonautica Orphica, crammed into some dark corner of the library. No one mused in hushed tones to some other twin soul the passages of Greek dramas.

With time, even her jokes and laughs simmered down to an untaxing hum, and one day, I could not say which, but the paste of the change seemed so alarming I had to note that in my memory, they stopped all together.

I asked Francis about the bar once, mostly because after Henry’s silent resignation from his previous seat, the ginger boy seemed to be the closest to her.

‘Say,’ I had asked him one day, when we were all leaving class, and her coat had long vanished from my field of vision ‘What are you going to do with the whole Bunny situation?’

He threw me a look, a dumbfounded, confused look, one would expect from a pupil being called to the board and not a grown man asked a simple question, such as himself.

‘Whatever do you mean, Richard?’

I shrugged my shoulders forward and wagged my head from side to side with disappointment. Resigned, I had never asked him about that again.

It was as if the past few weeks had not happened at all. Well, I guess there was no more need for all that, because she herself seemed to be more and more absent from our private, antic world. She became quite unresponsive during the lessons, although she kept her marks up and if only asked, she responded with the same vigour and fervour as usual, there was a special air of vacancy around her, whenever her lips sealed into that thin, pensive line I adored so. Her interactions with us became more and more scarce and suddenly, right before the break had begun, I realised that for a few days now she had been coming into class, nodding in greeting, and then staying silent for as long as she possibly could. That one nod, sometimes two, if she remembered to draft it before leaving class, was the only remnant of her usual sunny and loud greetings. I could not remember how did her voice sound before, but I knew that slight rasp and a gravel undertone weren’t always there. But now, whenever she spoke those qualities seemed ubiquitous and synonymous with her. A dark smudge on the crystal timbre of her vocal cords.

I noticed that she had not decided on changing her shoes. The dark-shining vices gripped her feet at all times, mercilessly and gave her steps a slight rhythm akin to that of a lame. I could not understand why was she still insisting on torturing herself with this terrible choice of footwear, but seeing as she would not talk to anyone, not even Henry, I did not feel especially invited to starting a conversation with her about that. Especially when all I could focus on was the dubious existence of that fateful evening I witnessed. If I could not trust myself with remembering a night such as this correctly, what else must’ve my mind gotten wrong?

The pages of my sketchbook suddenly filled with frantic notes of recollection and quick, messy drafts of those boots. From side, front, back, upside, dark, atmospheric, and linear. Shiny noses, black shoelaces, bits of mud on the soles and slight blemishes of salt on the delicate leather. I saw them every day, and every day I committed them to paper, slowly perfecting the ovoid shape. And all the while my pen hit the yellowed, stylized pages, all my ears registered was the unrhythmic clack of her heels on the frozen pavement. I tried to remember every clack and every click. Every broken shade and glimmer of artificial light that reflected off that polished leather as they laid beneath the table in Cherry flavour. And the longer I thought of them, those two black holes consuming my every waking thought, the longer that sick obsession with the shoes’ glimmering noses unravelled into a twisted spiral over the pages of my notebook and transformed them into some sort of mythical regalia of martyrdom, the more I started to think that I might’ve been in fact overexaggerating a bit. After all, it was not the first time I would completely submerge myself into an obsession that would ultimately prove pointless and redundant.

Only, no! I had eyes, I could see, I was not a blind man, nor was I marginally stupid. It did not take a genius to mark the pain in her stride, to see, how her laugh and her smile did not bear any water, how they died on her cheeks, never reaching her eyes. How, when she finally stopped the charade and alongside it, stopped talking altogether, those shine-less eyes, those once magnificent pools of sheer starlight became empty and dark. How she shrivelled and thinned in the matter of weeks – days! – and how her hair matted over with a thin layer of patina. Like a beautiful, bronze statue, knocked down into the murky waters of a lake it once guarded, her whole being overgrew with pondweeds and widgeon grass. Something dimmed her, a duckweed casted deep shadows on the crystal-clear surface of her face, and yet I could not comprehend what could it be. Bunny choked her, that I got. But that… that silence, that burnout… it all seemed far too much. And then Henry. So cold, so angry… and then completely uninterested. It was all, at the same time too much and too little for what I had gathered from a few glances at them. I wasn’t close with neither of them, except for her. I could’ve asked her then, at the bar, but that ship has had already sailed by the time doubts gripped at my throat. I was just so sure that Henry was going to take care of things, weed the pond water, that I didn’t even think of doing anything myself. Even though I knew, I swear to gods, old and new, I knew she needed… something. Someone. And I knew they knew that as well.

But they kept quiet. Cheery even, submerged into the deep waters of the Red Sea, running alongside the mystical warriors, sons of gods, storming the beaches of Troy, focused solely on the past, they stayed blind to the unsteady march of their friend. Henry, most of them, seemed to be shockingly cut off from all that surrounded him. Once again, I saw him reading the Iliad, alone. Once again, I had heard his snarky comments cutting the air like knives swishing at warm butter. I glanced at his hasty, unnecessary translations of old books into even older languages. And in all of that he remained solitarily unified with what has been. He had not even so much as spared a glance towards her way since that night. Not even a discrete, throw-away look, or a passing stare. His eyes remained polarised, sharp, and empty, investigating the dark swirls of letters on the old papers. Amongst all the shine of the glory that once was he surrounded himself with, he appeared somehow ghostly. Pale skin turned almost grey, and as time went on, violet swirls of broken capillaries dusted it with random cracks, here and there. Deep shadows marked his face from the waterlines of his eyes, right to his immensely sharp cheekbones, as if he had not been getting enough sleep. And his hands, they shook. Constantly and perpetually, small temblors shook his palmar nerves, forcing him to close and open his fists. Pain painted on his face the most magnificent landscapes, even more frequently when she fell silent. Still, he kept on with his studies, unbothered, pinning his button, shark-like eyes onto the inanimate objects of his admiration.

Once, I even saw him picking Bunny up from some restaurant, dragging a bummed-out boy behind him. I knew the precedence. I recognised the apologetic scowl on his face, when he drove off with the boy crammed up in the passenger seat of his car and I wonder how such a heartless, blind person could ever be let behind a wheel. As his car glided over the dangerously slippery street, the glimmer of Bunny’s blonde head, turned in half-chirp caught my eyes. I gagged. I simply could not watch this flock surrounding Tiresias with a straight face. I might have not understood the situation at hand, might have even assessed it wrong, but what got me the worst was the collective dismissal of the state my Diogenes found herself in. the turning of a blind eye, the dismissal, it made my blood boil.

Getting more and more angry with the silence surrounding something I was absolutely sure of witnessing, I decided to go back to the bar. Looking for something, anything, even now I would not be able to describe what for exactly, I decided to snoop around there. And I would, I really would. If it wasn’t for the stomped-out butt that greeted me on the pavement right before the entrance. Pathetic and soaked it had already dissolved under the immense pressure of humidity and dirty water that had washed over it during the days of my absence. It was there, it was real. And it had red letters – Lucky Strikes – engraved on the white band dividing the ashy end from the orange body. It stared at me from the distance of approximately six feet. The same ciggy Henry had stomped out.

My knees popped when I squatted over that piece of evidence. I stared intently, with bated breath and hands covering my mouth, just not to somehow contaminate that butt. Like a careful investigator I examined the unexpected piece of evidence with utmost unction I looked and watched and glanced at it, considered all the ways it had creased, soaked in the dirty water. I wanted to notice something, somehow connect the dots, tie it all up with one swift revelation. Maybe notice a certain shape or conjure a poetic, dramatic metaphor that could somehow describe it, take that mystery to a higher plane on which I could finally achieve enlightenment and deeper understanding of the situation. I thought that staring at it would help me capture at least a bit of Henry’s essence, that clasping my hands at the phantom thread tied to his mind at the moment of him smoking it would allow me access to his mindset, explain what was going on inside of him, when he mulled over the Latin phrase. Desperately searching for the slightest trace of reason in it, or some kind of symbolism, like a pair of grey, ashy bunny ears or a cute, fluff tail poking out of the mangled cotton end of the ciggy which’s visual allegory would bring me any closer to an explanation. But nothing appeared. The butt was just a butt. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sudden anger gripped me by the throat, poked at my eyeballs from the inside of my pained skull and coloured the whole world before me in vivid splashes of red. For the simple fact of my ingenuousness, the unreasonable investigation that refused to bear any fruit at its infant stages, the way the others did not seemed to be bothered by the whole Cherry flavour situation, savage frenzy sprouted in me, took root in my brain, slithered around my muscles, and took all inhibition from the body that once had belonged to me. For a split moment I was not human. For a short second, in which I jumped to my feet and with a brutish yap escaping my mouth, felt my muscles convulse with unpredictable movement, I was not even an animal. The accumulated rage was not me, not my own, but a whole other entity, alive, smart, hungry, vicious. Akin to Ophiocordyceps unilateralis it wrapped its way round me and guided my whole body into a fit of purely obscure seizure. My brain, my mind, it was there, although set still and useless, as if numbed and enslaved by that foreign rage in a sort of gilded cage it revelled in. Oh, the golden splendour of my inhibition, the sudden servitude to my own emotions, it all left a deliciously sweet taste on my tongue. My foot, one I had not realised had been risen, hit the ground with a terrible wet splash, perfectly pinning the dreaded butt beneath itself. The scream that followed the spontaneous motion echoed uncomfortably against each and every building that surrounded me. Tearing my leg up once again I struck anew, well the fungal rage reigning my body did, with both viciousness and force doubled. After three more dealt kicks like that I was sure the butt was not only stomped out, but completely obliterated, and yet I could not stop myself. I could not stop the stabbing motion of my leg, nor could I muffle the thick, grating bays coming out of my throat at every hit I/it had dealt. Dirty thawed snow splashed miserably all around me and landed on my trousers, on the cars parked in the parking lot and the poles dividing pavement from the road.

It was not far. No fair at all.

Splash!

How were they treating her!

Smack!

How she looked!

Splat!

What Henry had said! What he promised! What he didn’t do!

Plop!

Henry, that bastard! Bastard-Henry! Henry-Bastard! Blind fool! King of fools!

Slam!

He and that insufferable brat Bunny! Bunny, Bunny, Bunny! Idiot! Moron!

Nothing coherent crossed my mind in that moment. Nothing of higher importance or sense. But I knew that what had, was the purest form of frustration, the truest vent for every single one of my doubts and problems that had snowballed during that year in Hampden. I knew that those frantic kicks, those incoherent bellows of mine, they were not just empty swings at an already burnt-out cigarette. No, each strike was a protest, a manifestation and a drub against the nature of every single person entangled in the pattern of neglect and disinterest surrounding my Diogenes. Angry stomps surrounded me whole and muffled all the other sounds with their hateful nosegay.

In my fevered state the butt became Henry’s head, his chest, his hands, and the dark hair sprouting above his white, aristocratic forehead morphed into the sunlit grains of Bunny’s coiffure. Images, imprints really, of his pastel, nauseating outfits inflamed my nostrils with a smoke-stained dragon breath. They sharpened my teeth, turned me further and equipped me with diamond-sharp claws, armoured me with thick scales. I was a mystical dragon of pure, liquid fury and I was ready to melt down mountains. What’s worse is that I always knew what I had felt towards Bunny. It was nothing new. Detestation, slight indifference, unease sneaking its way beneath my skin with terrible itch whenever he appeared somewhere near me – the purest form of unknowing discomfort. But the unadulterated, all-consuming hatred I felt towards Henry was. In all honesty I was willing to admit my distaste regarding the blonde quarterback, and yet to this day, I quiver before the thoughts that ghosted and rattled over my mind when the acrid taste of venomous loathing filled my mouth when I saw the dark eyes, the jet-black hair and the cynical grin of Henry Winter being stomped out by my own foot. Yet I did not falter in that moment, not one step back. I did not quelched my thirst for blood, stomping my foot around I did not stomp out the desire to melt those two until there was nothing left of them, and then further scorch them until even the memory of them, the last trace of it has been completely purified and forged anew. I was a monster willing to turn them into a breed of creatures of my sort. For a moment a violent fantasy, of me stepping up, cornering them, and tearing them apart in two-to-one combat, clouded my vision. Oh, what I could have given in that moment to possess any kind of skill in martial arts. Of even owning a knife with which I could threaten them with. A kidney, or a lung, or even a heart would not be equal to the bargain I was willing to make in order to suddenly become apt, athletic and strong. A whole world would not be a sacrifice big enough for my willingness to hurt nor was it enough to bring me the levels of courage and skill I needed to face and best those two. After all, I was but a boy. Not a dragon, not an investigator, and not an infection-ridden insect. Just an angry little scrawny boy, scared and confused stomping in the molten snow like a capricious brat. More than anything I was a pathetic child. My knees buckled beneath the weight of that realisation, and I collapsed into the disgusting greyish-brownish pulp. Wet matter soaked into my pants and despite the moderately mild weather I swear, I had never felt such seeping cold.

Once again time stopped and galloped around me with no rhyme or reason. I could not tell how long I was kneeling there, pinned to the ground by the sheer gravity of that tiny, obliterated butt. And I think I would stay there for far longer, until darkened sky came in the marvellous shade of indigo and frost coated the perimeter with spiky-white fur, until I’d had lost feeling in my toes and the overwhelming cold of the night steadily slowed and slowed my pulse to the point of a dangerously gentle halt if it wasn’t for the shy shadow creeping over my form.

Small and bleak shape of a person sliding carefully on the pavement, mixed with the strange fragrance of a muffled, warm scent, domestic in that slow creep, nice and soft with the cautious steps of its owner. I knew that scent, that shape, that rhythm, swayed slightly to the right, as if the person guiding it avoided putting their whole weight to the left. I knew it and I longed for it for so, so long. My head snapped back, eager, almost wanton, and my gaze was met with a slightly bent figure, big, hollowed eyes gazing right, no, trough, mine and tightly pressed pale lips. Her. The intensity of that sudden stare, despite its murky and diffused, or maybe precisely because of that thinly spread quality, forced goose-skin to come forth on my clothed arms. She was slimmer, so much so, that when her jaw clenched at the shock surfacing on my face, I could see and count the small bones of her skull sliding smoothly beneath her taunt skin. Paler and somehow yellow, like a thin, thin, thin papyrus left for too long on the scorching sun of a desert, the rosy fresh bloom of her skin, just an afterthought left in the broken capillaries of her eyes and the reddish rim of them. The hair that fell over her arm, when she leaned in some more into my private space, as if to sniff me or confirm that I was in fact me, slid over her shoulder with a quiet dry shuffle, akin to the jerk of wheat fields in the middle of July, forgotten or abandoned by their farmer. No more gilded halo, rather bone-dry empty stems. In that dimension she was not so far away from the ghostly grey shape her body casted over me, even more so, she herself seemed like a shadow of her former self. A vessel that would drag behind her a fortnight before. A shape that would break over silvery-white snow caps, hide and split under the influence of light seeping into the campus library. There was this newfound quality about her, an air I had no words to describe then. I just knew that she didn’t quite feel like herself, somehow hollow, unfilled, not really finished, just like she herself was not complete, not whole, like the part of herself that kept her whole being by the seams, suddenly vanished and her frame fell apart, spitting out that lively, sweet part of herself, the cottony filling that gives puppets their shape, and all that was left of her was that skin, those glossy eyes, gleaming like two polished buttons. All I could think of, while desperately trying to bear that bone-chilling stare of hers, was that she had cracked into two halves, and the one – the cold, silent, limping, and tight-lipped creature – was the only half that survived that tragic severance. The worse half.

Now, that I have assisted in an attempt on someone’s life, I know that she looked like what death feels like. Cold and un-personalised ghostly presence that hoovers over you, seeps into you and stays somewhere there, in your body, in the stems of your fingers, forever curved around an already non-existent neck, slots itself right between the globes of your brain, playing the imagine of body muddled in snow over and over again, sits in your ears, echoing the never-ending crack of neck, settles on your skin with sheer dust of dried blood, and holds you hostage in constant state of fear for the rest of your miserable life. Once you’ve tasted death, once you’ve looked into dead man’s eyes, it stays with you, just like that imagine of her stayed with me, imprinted forevermore in my being.

And I had said before, ever since that night in her apartment, when I laid on the couch, half-drunk and dumb with fascination, and she kissed Henry over that one-piece table, three deaths had been prescribed in her lifetime. What I was seeing then, in the dodgy parking lot of Cherry favour was a tell-tale sign of the first one.

‘What’s up, pup?’ Mors dicit. Or was it her? ‘A lovely weather we’re having, huh?’ She croaked my way, as she crouched next to me with a slight hiss.

The weather was nice indeed, not that I had noticed before she so gracefully pointed that out for me. Chilly, yes, and, courtesy of the lingering snow, covered in a thin tint of sepia, but overall nice. But none of that mattered. Not really, when she was there, so close that I could smell her, feel the faint warmth of her body leaving a shallow indentation on my arm.

‘Hey.’ My tongue darted to wet my horrid, chapped lips. She smelled naturally, of herself, like no other fragrance in this world, broken by slight notes of cigarette smoke and fresh coffee carried forth on her breath, although the smell was muffled, weathered and I had to breath unrealistically deeply to get a real sense of it. ‘Wasn’t expecting you here.’

Her brows furrowed, as if she had no idea of what I was talking about, and only when I pointed my finger up, to the neon sign, turned off for the time, had a sharp spark of comprehension light her eyes. For a second, she seemed suspended in time, when she considered and took in the sight of the establishment, and I thought she might break down crying, because her lower lip wobbled and the skin around her eyes tightened dangerously, but no, nothing like that happened. Instead, her white teeth peaked from beneath the pale barrier of her lips and a snarl, something I would take for a laugh if it wasn’t so primal, so angry, fell from between them.

‘Oh, that’s rich, that’s rich.’ She gurgled some more, before turning to me. Something in me, cowardly and slimy, suggested that I much preferred her giggling at the bar, and not looking at me. Truly, something in those washed-out, wandering eyes, did not feel quite… sane. ‘I was… out for a walk. Wanted to go to the post office. Guess I lost my way.’

I nodded, not knowing what else to say. And I wanted to say so many things. Maybe too many for any of them to come forth. Something in her face told me that she understood, and so I didn’t feel as restricted as before. Somehow, that one shift in the muscles on her face convinced me that she, the Diogenes I loved so much, the accomplice I adored with all my might, was still there.

‘What for?’

‘Oh, just… wanted to buy more letter writing paper. I’m writing a lot recently…’

I nodded and promptly decided I had to keep up the good karma of her talking, because with every word she uttered I heard that terrible rasp fading and fading away. I really wanted to hear that crystal-clear laugh of hers once more. Icy and fresh, like the coldest creaks flowing down from the highest of mountain tops. Although before I could ask her another question, she beat me to it, her ever perceptive gaze falling to my wet, dirtied knees. Something like a smile, real heartfelt smile and not a cynical crack of lips, flashed across her face and she cocked her chin towards that bizarre view.

‘You’re kneeling in the snow, Richard Papen, have you noticed?’

I nodded, again, and scoffed a little, noticing how strange that must’ve looked for someone who wasn’t privy to my melt-down, or anyone perfectly sane for that matter. Although, looking at her, I wasn’t sure I could apply the latter category to anything currently concerning her person.

‘Ya. I did. I just read somewhere that winter swims can work wonders for your nervous system. You know, I find it quite refreshing actually, the dirty water getting soaked in by my pants, I mean.’ I stomped my knees a few times, splashing the water around a bit, as if I was trying to paddle in real, deep water.

To my utter surprise, she giggled. And by gods, I’d be damned if I didn’t blush at that sweet, treacly laugh. My lips curved with hers, and widened even more, when she continued with her interrogation. Every second word she managed to utter was interrupted by a new wave of giggles.

‘No, really. Why are you… why are you kneeling like that? Come one, don’t give me that look, don’t look at me like you know something I don’t!’

She pulled me by my arms, her slim, tender fingers digging into my used and shabby overcoat with such surprising force I feared for the stitches that held it together. I grabbed her back, maybe out of that fear, or just simply because I missed the feel of her, her body somewhere near mine, the touch I could squeeze out of our short interactions, how her arms felt in the palms of my hand… I pulled her towards me, with the fullest intent of dragging her to the ground with me, but she was far stronger than I imagined. Now, the prospect of her catching Henry if he’d fall did not seem so abstract, when she somehow managed to maintain her equilibrium and slip from my grasp, jumping a few steps back, still, balancing perfectly of the balls of her feet. She flashed me a toothy grin, and I, the weak man that I was, tried again, just so I could see it again. I reached for her once more, but she was too agile for me, even with her limp, even in that state of suspended half-death, she jumped around me like an eager, young heifer, drafted circles as I wagged and dragged behind her.

‘Quick, Richard, you gotta be quick! Answer me, or you won’t catch me! Come on now, it’s not that hard, just tell me.’

After some more tittering coaxing, that went in a more-or-less similar tune to her first question, I finally gave in. Giddy myself with the marvellous melody of her happiness I could not help but tell her everything she wanted to know. Who was I to refuse her, after all? Before I started though, I waved my hand dismissively in order to lighten the impact of what I was going to say. I didn’t want her to take me for a hopeless case, but I figured that maybe the sheer ridiculousness of my behaviour might help in holding up that magnificent smile a while longer on her lips. I went for so long without seeing it, that now, that I finally got the chance to, I threw myself at it with abandon and hunger of a starving person.

‘I just had an epiphany. A pretty grim one.’ I admitted, pursing my lips, and nodding my head in a very pensive, over-the-top way. Her smile did not widen, but neither did it falter, so I took it for a small success. Her head tilted though, in that feline, interested burst of expression I had seen her making in classes before.

‘Grim? How come?’

Squaring my shoulders, I nodded. To be fair I did not really know if I wanted to tell her all about what just had gone through my head. The violence… the desperate need for it. But I figured that if I ever wanted her to open up to me, to keep on smiling, trusting me like she did a few weeks before, I had to give her something. So, like a coward, I went with the safest option, one that could give me the desired results.

‘Henry.’ I said, and her smile faltered until it faded completely. ‘He… he told me something, and I believed it, and now… well, now I know it not to be true. The epiphany, I guess, was about him.’ A dash of malevolence glimmered in her irises at the mention of his name. She craned her neck backwards, slowly, and very carefully like king cobra lazily hauling her body up and spreading the beige collar in the ultimate warning before dealing the lethal blow. Her hair electrified around her beautiful swan neck, seemingly willed by the sheer force of her ireful mind, and for a second, I thought I caught a glimpse of perilous white fangs, dripping with saliva down onto her tongue.

‘Guess you’re not the first one to be deceived.’ Venomous, was her comment. Stabbing and full of intent to kill. I nodded, half in understanding, half in agreement. ‘What has he said to you?’

I allowed myself a longer pause, just to swallow and gather my thoughts, although I already knew what I was going to say, the second his name left my lips.

‘Henry said he was going to help you. Deal with Bunny.’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, he said something like, an eye for an eye. You know, for choking you in the bar. I guess I thought he was going to scare him a bit, take him for a small tumble or…’

A spasm of fear run through my body when her face suddenly twisted and morphed, elongated by the purest iteration of despair. Her lips quivered and curved downwards, brows squeezing and releasing her high forehead in an iron grip of pain. Her eyes screwed up, until her face flooded in stramineous red and then popped back out, capillaries prominent, lashes fluttering, gathering unwanted wetness. She kind of choked, or gurgled, her throat waved and resonated with a snarl of an animal wounded and then a long, desperate whiz. Her hands, pale and thin, shot up, tangling her fingers into the already unruly coiffure. With another panicked exhale she pulled the tightly gripped strands over her face, strained them to their fullest length, and then some more, to the point where I saw the roots of her hair pulling the skin of her head up, and up. Her body convulsed, and then went completely taunt, her chest collapsing over her bent knees. Something in me broke, seeing her like that, something snapped. Not with the fiery, almost-too-cold rage of a mythical beast I felt before. Rather with soft, damp resignation that fills oneself when they find a dead mouse in the trap, they had set themselves the night before. I scooted closer, slowly, announcing my movement to her, so that she would not be scared with my presence, like a good hunter would do with a yet alive prey in need of a final blow. She nodded, still whimpering quietly as I shuffled across the wet pavement. I let my arms snake around her shoulders, tug her head to my chest, so that she would hear the steady beat of my heart, know that it was me, that I was real, and I was indeed there, by her side. She complied, fell forward into my embrace, as if longing for it. Her knees hit the ground, wet splash marked my lap, but none of us cared as I pressed my jaw to the crown of her head, as another wet splash hit my chest. Small, almost unnoticeable droplets slid from her eyes, from the bridge of her nose. The street was empty, just the two of us bundled to the side, shivering, pained and scared together. She could cry as much as she wanted, I shielded her from the rising wind.

‘Shhhhh, hey sweet thing. What’s happened? Come on. It’s all right. It’ll be all right.’ She sobbed into me, and I felt it, not in the physical when the waves of her voice went to crash over my body, but in a much more piercing way. My heart clenched at that. ‘I know, I know. Come one, let’s get up, you’ll catch a cold. See? your pants are already brown from the snow.’

Another froth of waves came crushing my chest, but I managed to haul her up. She nodded frantically over and over, clearly not knowing what to do. Embarrassed, or confused she begun to dry her face with quick, hard stokes, that left long red trails over her cheeks.

‘Yea, yea, you’re right Richard. It’s all so stupid, I’m so stupid, sorry… let me just… just… I’ll be fine in a second. Just. Can you stay a while longer?’ Her voice trembled and fluctuated between a nasal gags and whispery retches. Her head lunched forward and for a second, I thought she was vomiting, but she managed to straighten up. Iron heat rushed to my head, swirled in my stomach. ‘Just stay a bit longer, please. It’s stupid, it’ll pass.’

‘It’s not. You’re not. None of it is. You have every right…’ Red rimmed eyes shot to me, wet with all the things unsaid, undone, longing and hungry. The hunger of her soul reflected in those starry windows overwhelmed me, took my inhibitions, and threw them far, far away. Those were not the eyes of a human, of a mortal. Not with their sharp glints, soft edges, the magnificent colour, knowing glances. Older and wiser than any other eyes I’ve ever seen before. Kind but hardened by life. with the little lines at their corners, that stayed there as a testament to her laugh. But then, when she looked at me, when she mulled over my words and I saw her pupils retract, sag in helplessness and anticipation, to me those were the eyes of an immortal creature, burdened with ancient depth, the eyes of the magnificent daughter of Peneus. Sorrowful, forced to submit, yet unwilling. The eyes of a running Daphne. Then it clicked for me, and venom raised in furious fumes up my throat, bail-chased nausea spined me around, tightened my fists over her elbows, desperate to find a semblance of grounding, as the revelation, slipped the ground from beneath my feet. ‘Hey… you. Come, let’s get you home, how about that?’

One nod for her and I was already dragging her across the pavement, far, far away from the bar. I wanted to take her away, haul her to me and teleport to someplace safe. Salvage her from the dirt and gutter of the streets, from the gaze of people who might cross our way, from the words I, myself spoke. Her feet shuffled on the ground, disoriented and irregular. The shoe, I thought, the damned shoe. The limping leg, scratching the tumbling surface of pavement almost made my ears bleed.

‘I’m going to carry you now,’ I said, surprised at how deep my voice had come out.

Thankfully, she did not object to my statement, I don’t know what I would have done if she did. I took her into my arms, her legs hanging over one of my arms, head snug to my chest. Her arms snuck up and grabbed a hold of my shoulders, seemingly the straw that a drowning man is to clutch. I lunged forward then, my steps long, far apart, almost jumps. The streets passed me in a blur, the people, their wandering, bewildered stares. I did not care for them, for anything other than the slight flutter of her heart, beating slightly under my ribs, other than her warm body pressing into mine. She sobbed into my chest, and that gave me an edge, a mission to complete, a goal. Finally, I had something to do, some means to help. I had never walked as fast, stretched my legs as far apart, as I did when I devoured the steps of the stairwell of her apartment building, fort, sometimes five at a time. All the while I muttered to myself maybe more than to her, words of affirmation, calming phrases. And she was so small, holding onto me. God, so utterly small and shaky, I barely could feel her weight in my arms. I felt like sobbing myself. And my heels clacked along the pavement, and my breath bated, my heart clenched and aching, a steady drum of my steps, as I tore through the darkened bluish veil of night shine. She stayed cooped in my arms, small, sizzling out, yet still breathing. Her leg, the hurt one, marked with carnation-esque blemishes of copper blood, twitched over my bent elbow.

‘Hey, pretty thing, you hang in there, all right?’

I shook her body slightly in my grasp, just to make sure she heard what I said. Glancing down, I noticed that my breath had turned into a puff of grey mist, obscuring her silhouette a bit from me. But it didn’t matter, as long as I could feel the rise and fall of her chest, the small beat of her heart, so, so close to my own. She shrugged. The streets of Hampden appeared to be longer than I remembered. Stretched by a touch of an invisible hand. Darker, than I was used to. More cramped despite there being almost no sole in our field of vision. The unrelenting quiet of the eve, a sound box for my shaky tone. As I walked, the buildings before me appeared to be bending towards me, as if the same malicious hand pushed them with the force of gravity towards me, so that they could close over our heads, burry us in never ending piles of rubble. I would not complain if that was really the case. I would not mutter a word of defiance, only if she would speak to me, answer my question. But the silence between us stretched long and morbid, just like the distance I desperately tried to cover.

‘Are you okay?’

Her sad, big eyes gleamed at me through the canopy of our tangled breaths. Hers – short and shallow – mine – unsteady but deep.

‘No, Richard. I don’t think I am,’ she said, her voice snotty, clogged by the unrelenting stream of tears flooding her face. I had never heard her like that. The rasp, the croaking, all of that it seemed I could take. I could ignore it, or accept it even, purely because those screechy vowels, and high-pitched consonants, those sounds were hers. Formed a part of her, even if it was ugly, deterring. I still could see the beauty in them. Some sort of sardonic fascination, or grotesque appreciation for the abhorrent reality of her. But that mushed sob, she seemingly clawed out of her squeezed windpipes? That wasn’t her own, wasn’t of her making nor intention and so, as it wasn’t purely her, I could not bring myself to muffle the crump tearing my soul in two at the sound of it. I was sure, that if I only tried to respond in some kind of way, opened my mouth, the bone-chilling, banshee scream would fly out of it, scare her so utterly, that I would not be able to hold on to her squirming, scrambling form. And so, I stayed quiet, soaking the prolonged silence of stretched streets.

‘It’s opened,’ she murmured when we finally arrived at her door. By that time, she somehow managed to calm down, and now in her voice rung rather tiredness than the despair from before. ‘I left it open.’ Something in the way she said it, the numb undertone of resignation, when she announced it, chased shivers down my spine. I pushed; the door was indeed left open. Its hinges creaked slightly when they swung, revealing a whole other world to me. The ascetic landscape of her flat took me by surprise and made me stop in my tracks. Nothing, and I mean nothing was where it had been before. No plants, no coffee mugs or glasses, no ashtrays. The one-piece table had been pushed up to the window, while the couch with the glass coffee table stood, crocked and strangely in a line, in the middle of the space. Books, now stacked into neat piles had been gathered around the fireplace. Alarmingly – the Alexander the Great print was nowhere to be seen. Without it, the flat presented itself rather miserably. Like the Mona Lisa without her smile, or the Lady with an Ermine, with her companion scavenging for prey, somewhere outside the frame. I didn’t notice any plants either. Strange how a jungle-like kitchen turns to a complete replica of the Gobi Desert, in matter of mere days.

‘Where do you want me to…’

‘The couch. Please. Thank you.’

I let go of her, letting her body fall and submerge itself into the cushions of the meuble. As she laid back, the soft material of her dress slid over my arms, cold and silky, making me realise how hot, almost feverish, my skin had become. It was her, all her. Splayed in that mangled pose, her knees raised slightly up, hands thrown over the headrest, hair tangling everywhere, she looked most tragically. Most divine. Sudden hunger rumbled in my stomach, resonated along my spine and ribs, and I had to dip my head down, kneel before her in a mock attempt at loosening her shoelaces, in order to mask the scowl, it had produced on my face.

‘We should take off those shoes, you hear me. Matter of fact, we should burn them at once, or throw them into the river. See? How bloody your socks are? Completely soaked. No, you should never wear those again. Why didn’t you return them? They’re clearly too small for you.’

I tried to force every fibre of my body to bend into an apologetic, careful pose, one that would pose no threat to her. Not that I did, I just didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, as I fiddled with the leather at her feet. I tried to be as small, as servile as possible. I wanted her to remember that moment, to rely on it in times of fear. Or then, right in that flat, squatted around the couch, I wanted her to see me as I was, Richard Papen, the most reliable, safe presence in her life. Better than Henry, than Bunny, than Charles or Camilla, or anyone else. Anyway, it did not matter what I did or did not do. She remained unresponsive to my every query. Only when, halfway through unlacing her second shoe, I proposed that I could maybe make some tea for the both of us, seeing as we were drenched in brownish-snowish pulp, head to toe, and our noses, resembled more a ripe set of cranberries in colour than a normal part of a human body, she murmured something, rather unbefitting of a lady, and I decided to take that as a ‘no’.

‘Aye, those are real torture devices, I really can’t understand why you keep wearing them.’

Her legs were daft, almost waxy as I gently slid off the shoes from her feet. It seemed as if I was catering to a giant doll, unable to bend her knees, or change positions. Like finest crockery her skin glistened with a sheer sheet of sweaty glaze, moon-kissed and pale, even at her lowest she rendered such a powerful aura around her, I, the sane and most certainly more empowered out of us two, felt like game. Game to the real hunter – my own desire.

‘Have you ever heard Richard… there is this thing those cool, riotous dads tell their children when they get slightly injured and raise inadequate ruckus. Something like… well, if your finger hurts, then hit your head, then the finger will stop hurting.’

I laughed, dryly, rather focused on the copper smudges soaked into the white cotton of her socks, than her. I knew that if I looked up, faced her beaming, pleading eyes, I would not be able to control myself. I would unravel before her, cry or wail or fall to the ground to roll in my gloom and ineptness, and that was the last thing she needed.

‘I don’t quite know what you mean. If I ever cried, my dad just told me to shut up and soak it up.’

‘That’s tough love for ya,’ Over my scoffing I heard her snort as well, although she had to snarl right afterwards and prevent snot from overflowing her nostrils. ‘But no, the bang your head method actually makes some sense, to me at least. If something hurts, like finger, and it hurts real bad, then maybe hurting your head more will, well not alleviate the pain from the finger, but focus your attention on the splitting headache you get next. A bait and bleed, but for pain.’

‘So, does your finger hurt?’

Her hands moved. One grabbed at the scarf woven around her neck, the other lifted the hem of her skirt, slowly bunching it upwards, cumulating the small creases into her fingers, one after the other. Agile and skilled like a tiny spider gathering its web. As the folds of her clothes compressed further, diminished, as they slid slowly against her body, the more and more of waxy-pale skin I saw. What I saw, at least up there, on her neck, I somehow anticipated. Black and blueish marks forming a faint shape of a hand, big and spread across her larynx, imprinted with conviction and goal – to muffle any sound that it might’ve produced. But down there, where her skit got hiked up to her hip, I could never prepare myself for what I saw there.

‘Finger. Fingers. Thighs. Neck, calves, wrists, ribs, ears, eyes, chest, lungs, stomach.’

Her monotone voice filled my ears with an oceanic roar. Purple stains, red scratches and spotty chafing jigged and bounced a pagan dance across her skin, I saw them and in a sort of semi-empiric sort of way I felt them stomp on my thighs, hurt, and twist my nerves in a hellish grip, dastardly burning through right to my bones like and acrid pools of venom. I could only suspect how much she was suffering. The muscle above my knee twitched and spasmed painfully, bringing me back, polarising on the here and now, as her daft fingers weaved through the silky waves of her skirt. And the bruises I saw there. Burgeoning, at the precipice of her thighs, in a bedlam of rioting, furious reds, nauseous greens and mournful purples. Vulgar motley splayed all the way from her bony knees to, as far as my eyes could reach, the slight peaks of her quadriceps. Brutish handprints grabbing at her with a phantom, everlasting grip, swallowed every paled inch of her skin, and looking at them I felt how they burned on me.

‘Everything hurts, Richard. The shoes though… they’re more physical.’

Then she looked away, into the void above my head, and it seemed she found some familiar comfort in that unfocused blank state.

‘We’ve all got good many things that pain us, I just never thought I would prefer the horrid burn of flesh over my ethereal torments.’

‘Lean back, sweet thing, all right?’ It was hard for me to take the skirts out of her fingers, but I managed to do so, even with the trembling of my stems, I pulled the material in most gentle manor and yet it staggered on her knee and stayed there. She didn’t mind. ‘You need anything else?’

For a second, I saw a shadow of focus march across her face. And then the stare came, the terrifyingly polarising, pulverising gaze that crossed universes and souls, crush them, crush me, the game to the hunter of her eyes. Contagious, like a mood that passes into you, a sound that creeps on the border of your mind a tune you repeat, on and on and on, and with time you begin to dread and hate it, until it loops, and you cannot hear naught, but that single melody. Her will, so strange and strong, shined amongst that onslaught of power stirring in her pupils like the tolling of a bell.

‘The pills. The ones in the cupboard. Right there.’

I followed the path her finger drafted in the air right to the kitchen. Clean, empty, eerily not her. I reached into the cupboard, surprisingly containing no cups, just a messy pile of packets and bottles with different kinds of medicine. Some of them green, others pink or purple or blue. Safe to say the cupboard seemed to be containing all the colour drained from the apartment. In the corner of the shelf, I thought I saw a greyish piece of cloth or canvas, like the one stretched over the hearth with Alexander on it, but I did not let myself linger on that.

‘Which ones do you want?’

I observed the back of her head from where I stood. She wasn’t moving and if she hadn’t responded to my question, I’d thought that the second I walked away, she transcended into the plain of death by the sheer power of her hollow stare.

‘Duragesic.’

‘Forte?’

‘Ye, ye. And water, please.’

‘I can bring you some in my hands, otherwise, I don’t see how.’

‘Oh, yeah, right. Then no water.’

She said that as if the marginal lack of any glasses or cups in her apartment was some cardinal truth, she just so happened to forget.

I brought the whole package to her, although I pondered a while if it would be safer to just squeeze a couple of the pills out and hand them to her like that. But I ultimately thought she wouldn’t like that. So, I just threw the silver leaflet her way, and like a starved animal she nearly tore her way to the pills through the plastic safety-packing. I watched in horror as she downed not one, not two and not three but four white, oval pills. And then she swallowed, without blinking an eye. She must’ve gathered some saliva in her mouth beforehand to help them go down, either way the bulge that painfully dragged down her throat went down uncomfortably slow, and I could see her face contorting at the unsavoury, bitter aftertaste. But then she moved, really moved, and smiled, like nothing I’ve seen her do on that day, or the weeks before. Her body loosened and lost a certain quality of strain as if some magical, invisible rope feel from it, releasing her consciousness into a more senile, easy state. Worry evaporated from me like dew on a hot, summer day, and I smiled back at her.

‘What now?’

‘Now, Richard dearest, I go to sleep. And you, you do what you want. Make it worthwhile. Be happy while you do it. Do not hurt.’

She started to shift clumsily on the sofa and so I came closer to lift her legs and help in making herself comfortable. Her head dragged along the pillows back and forth, heavily, filled with woolly haze of the medicine. Her eyelids fluttered in a drowsy rhythm, shoving away the waves of sleepiness as she stared at me and mouthed something, some kind of advice I could not read. I shuffled closer, bent my neck so that my ear could gather the soft nectar dripping from her lips.

‘Or take some pills, I’ve money for some more. And sleep. Sleep is the best solution for dwelling my dear. In sleep you don’t remember, you do not feel. It is just you and the dark void all around you.’

I jumped back at the slurring onslaught of her words, vicious and sad. In doing so I carelessly stepped on the tale of my coat and crumbled to the floor. Her laugh, deranged and dry followed me in my way down, resonated in my bones as I came into the contact with the cold, hard ground. Wind whistled in that cruel giggle as she quickly switched into a humming tune, mocking my fall. Any humour run away from me at the sound of that maddened croak, like liquids seeping out of a corpse. She was right, the physical pain of my backbone might’ve been grounding, comforting against the cruel tear I felt when she pointed at me and laughed.

‘Rappelez-vous l'objet que nous vîmes, mon âme, ce beau matin d'été si doux: au détour d'un sentier une charogne infâme sur un lit semé de Cailloux.’

Pointing an accusatory finger at me, as if I were the aforementioned carcass, she swayed to the rhythm of her words, wild smile stretching her face, pupils dilated and gleaming with a strange glow. Sweat came onto her forehead and her eyes bathed in a strange mist of pure delirium. I plucked my eyes away. It was like hand-picking them out of my skull.

‘Les jambes en l'air, comme une femme lubrique, come on, open your legs Richard, brûlante et suant les poisons, ouvrait d'une façon nonchalante et cynique son ventre plein d'exhalaisons.’

A strange lullaby, and so it was, but so was she. And she chanted like that for a second more, mesmerising me, pulling with the gravity of her flawless French and taunting words down, down the spiral with her, until her wrist limped, her hand slowly lowered, and her eyelids closed. Her breath steadied, deepened and soon I realized she fell asleep mid-sentence. I watched for a while, took a hold of her hand, and counted the pumps of her blood. Then her neck, as I studied the slow ticks on her face. She dreamed, I gathered, instead of sleeping, like she intended, but at least in that state she was left alone. Terrified of leaving her like that, in her solitude, to awake in an empty, cold apartment I stayed there for a while. But my body twitched and squirmed into action. As her breath came in, poisonous rage flowed into me, burning every inactive cell. The dragon-slaying knight in shining armour awakened inside of me once again and without thinking, I stumbled onto my feet, took off my coat to put something around her, so she would freeze, and staggered out of the flat. My gait strayed uneven, but my steps gained in audacity and purpose with every meter devoured. With bitter taste of upcoming glory, I directed myself towards Henry’s layer.

My head was light, soaring miles away from Earth, breaking through the cotton barriers of clouds, shoving stars out of my way, dispersing galaxies, I was hot and cold at the same time, waves of burning strain crashed within my muscles with every stretch and cramp, and the wind cooled my body, now bared to it, rid of the safe layer of a coat. Greatest discomfort resonated all the way from my feet to my knees, as the soles of my shoes slipped every now and again against the wet cobblestone of the streets. Every cant of every stone, every empty space left by a stray foundation of the pavement filled me with utter desperation and an emotion so strong, so indescribable, I nearly threw up. Everything was too tight on my body, too damp and too cold. My hands suddenly appeared to bony and fragile as I balled them into fists at my sides to stop the antsy ticks that dripped over the joint of my fingers. At the back of my skull formed a sort of pressure familiar to some, especially those suffering from strong migraines. I experienced pain like that before, mainly due to alcohol overuse or exhaustion, never like that though. I had never feared for my precious eyeballs so much, never dreaded and anticipated the moment the pressure would become too much, and they’d pop right out of my eye sockets. My cheeks hollowed out, pulled to the inside of my mouth and I nibbled at the soft tissue to distract myself from the growing dizziness radiating straight from my corneas. Iron floated to my tongue, brought out bitter taste of anger even more. Ire and pain fumed in me like twin forces spurring each other on, keeping their flames burning.

I don’t remember much of my journey, how I got to where I had to be, how I managed to not crush into anyone or anything or any particular details of the spaces I run through, just the angry swelling of the darkened sky, as the clouds gathered to bring forth a snowstorm. I prayed, all the way there, that Henry would be home. And if not, I was wholly ready to roam across different apartments, even the campus to find him and shove my fist as far back his throat, so that he could see the stars that currently jumped around my field of vision. Seething, manifesting I arrived at his door, and I don’t know if thanks to my stupid luck, or the power of divine beings listening in on my pleadings, he was. In a matter of seconds, he answered to my brazen knocking, his dark head poked through a crack of an opened door, gold, short chain of a lock resting slightly against his curls. And maybe it was the sheer existence of the chain, maybe the austere face beneath it, but my tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of my mouth, dry and stiff as a log. I had so many things I wanted to say, to do, so many scenarios I planned in my mind, a myriad of quips, of angry yaps and barks, and yet in the face of a real challenge, when he measured me with his cold, distant gaze, I found I had nothing to say to him. I took a breath and stopped. My lungs swelled, pushed my chest out, he stared, not even bothering to unlock the door, as if I was just some peddler, bothering him. I shifted, trying to gaze into the apartment, he moved with me, squaring his shoulders, and obscuring my view completely. Either way I would be able to see anything like that, the light inside was turned off.

‘Richard,’ he said finally, his voice empty and flat. ‘What brings you here?’

I wasn’t able to speak yet, not even force myself to breathe properly. So, through some strange, dreamy influence, I raised my hands to the sides of my head and wagged my fingers back and forth, like when little kids do, if they want to imitate a bunny, which gathered no reaction from him, so I lowered my make-believe ears and wrapped them around my throat. And when his brows soared across his forehead, clearly not understanding what I was trying to communicate, I started to toss my head around, squirm and convulse. Muffled gurgles escaped my throat as my fingers tightened and tightened, squeezing my larynx in a grip I would never suspect myself of being able to pull. This must’ve come as quite a shock to him, to see me choke myself right at his doorstep.

‘What the- Richard, Jesus Christ! What are you doing?’

In one swift motion he tore the chain out of its place and swinging the door open, pulled me in by the collar. The move was so unexpected and at once so strong that I staggered forward, struggling to find any footing and by the end of my tumble I swung in the grasp of his extended hand – the only thing that saved me from smashing my face against the floor. My shirt creaked and I think popped unexpectedly at the seam, right over my left scapula. I whined, baffled, loud enough for the two men sitting inside to turn towards me.

The room I found, or rather forced, myself into was dark. Not dark like the night, that snuck up on me, quiet like a thief, right outside the building. No, rather dark like lack of any light. The curtains were drawn and only the luminescent outer line of windows. The rest of the room got drowned out in a blue-black cold of darkness. The air inside was stuffy and reeked of alcohol mixed with sweaty fumes of tobacco, likely suspended in the small space of what I could only assume was a saloon, for long hours. To the sides, against the walls and between various shapes, most probably pieces of furniture, poked some strange, sharp, and fuzzy or delicate and swaying objects. Plants, I thought to myself as I saw that some of them stood proudly on lean wooden stems, and other chose to bend down and slither right into the murky embrace of dark sliding across the floor. Heavy mist of conspiracy wrapped itself around the whole space, tucked itself into every nook and cranny. What struck me the most about the apartment though, was the utterly perfect silence scattered across it, disturbed only periodically by the cars passing slowly by, down, down, down below. Against the backdrop of obscured rectangles of windows two man sat, lit from behind, their sharp features presented themselves disturbingly alien. Their hair, accumulated around their heads into thick manes of dark matter, lighter only at the ends, when the moon could tear through the sheerest layers and colour them in coronae of copper and gold. Long faces starved and caved in at the edges, bone-showing, dead-eyed, terrifying sculptures tasked me with unison judgment. The smaller, gilded boy nursed a glass against his abdomen, the other, red judge held up a smoking pipe. God, how I wished to be drunk in that moment.

‘Oh, Richard, fancy seeing you here.’

‘Do you really, Francis?’

Once Henry released me, I stumbled a bit forward then regained my balance. Somehow, I discovered it was much easier to regain my previous rebellious disposition when I didn’t have to face him. It was easier to be a dick towards Francis, than Henry. To spit all the venom the bile accumulated throughout the day, days, weeks. It was easier to speak the truth when the person I feared most telling it to wasn’t facing me. The boys in the chairs shuffled uncomfortably, Charles swirled the drink in his glass a couple of times. Dark liquid swirled into a small tornado and then fell back into its given shape. I bit the inside of my cheek.

‘Are you alone? Is it just the three of you?’

An uneven drag sounded somewhere behind me, most likely announcing that Henry chose to change positions or chose his sitting anew.

‘What’s it to you?’ He asked. ‘You come over unannounced, barge in, you don’t even answer our questions, and now you expect us to answer yours?’

Something in his voice, maybe the cold distance or the chilling indifference towards my exemplary rudeness, unnerved me. As if he wasn’t even bothered nor interested by it all, cut off completely from me, from the world, from its actions. Maybe it was his resignation that rendered him so inhuman, stirred him to ask and answer and act like a robot, inquiring on auto pilot, that took me to the hights of my ire.

‘I met her, I was at her apartment, she’s got the bruises still, she’s a mess. I’m here because you’re here. Sitting. Doing nothing, and she withers. I’m here because you don’t even know that, because you don’t even bother to check. So now, are you alone?’

A quick glance exchanged by the boys in the chairs told me they knew. Three steps and I was by them, starring daggers into the beautiful, alien aureoles of their heads. My hands gripped the headrests above them, ruffled them into my fists, successfully closing in on them, creating a circle of my arms so that they could not escape me.

‘She does not have water at her apartment, no lants, no books, nothing. It does not even look like her apartment no more. She lives there alone, sleeps on the couch, leaves the door open, and you won’t even talk to her, you talk to Bunny, miserable traitors.’

‘What traitors, Richard? We’re all friends here, she just focuses on her studies more right now, come on, why so angry?’

‘Oh, don’t give me that shit Francis. There is something terribly wrong going on inside of her, she faced and managed to get away from a terrible fate, we didn’t act in time and now you act like nothing happened?! You cut her off when she needed you, you let her disappear, you-‘

I spun on my heel, not carrying about the yaps of the boys raising from their chairs grabbing at me, when I already stepped away, decided on my new direction. I pointed an accusatory finger into the dark, where a lean dark shadow stood perched, no sign of shame seeded in its body. ‘You let her go you allowed to go away, you changed your school desks, you bastrad. You might as well be the reason for her being like this right now!’

Something hard and overwhelmingly heavy hit my back, settled between my shoulder blades. A sweet smell, floral and light hit my nostrils as I felt a sharp cheek bone digging into my jaw, bony hands sliding across it, trying to grip and close my mouth.

‘Stop screaming, stop fucking screaming, Richard, stop it, now I tell you!’

High-pitched squeals of Charles filled my ears as I dug my elbow into his ribs and shrugged his weight off my shoulders in an unbelievable fit of athletic prowess. Somewhere, in the corners of my eye I noticed that he stumbled a few steps back and knocked into Francis, who apparently was hot on my heels. I took the opportunity and lunged forward, tearing my throat out.

‘You shut up, you shut up, just shut up, and do something! You abandoned her, you-‘

I didn’t not expect the clash. Nor did I expect the arms, the bronze snarls, that wrapped around me, my nape, my head, auspiciously muffling my screams, tugging me into the grey mass that was my opponent. The tumble was unfair, predestined from the second I took my first step, I knew it, when Henry’s surprisingly hot breath fanned my ear. Funny, at this point I thought he would cough and wheezing with icy stilettos, instead he huffed pure fire. Matter of fact, his whole body fumed with ghastly feverish heat waves, unbalancing the air around us. I felt something rumbling in his chest, like a thunder, and then as his fingers comped through the locks at the back of my head and pulled it backwards, painfully far, strikingly ungentle, I saw his face clearly, for what I could gather, first time in weeks.

All fell silent when I met his gaze and the room, the boys, their animalistic pants, the plant, it all disappeared, and all that existed, all that lived, and breathed died and focused inside of those black, soulless shark eyes.

Scrupulously austere, locked into a heavy mask was his physiognomy. And yet, up close I could see the cracks. Harsh and deep in how his brows furrowed, how his lips turned down their corners, how a vein popped regularly on his forehead. His glasses cast no reflection, no shadows over his dark eyes as they filled with such torment, such ache I don’t think I would be ever able to gaze into them if he wasn’t holding me still, craning over me like a gargoyle swinging off a cathedral’s roof, judging the sinners, scaring off the unfaithful. In that bend he looked starved, famished and lonely for something. I though, in a brilliant second of sobriety, that, as I had noticed before, those eyes were a mirror image of hers. He too, surprisingly enough, had not took the severance too well. Maybe the half that she lost, and he so desperately searched for in my face, the filling they both lacked and without which they could not live, was one and the same.

I did not expect to see through his heart’s frosty discipline so easily, so abruptly and so it was not the grip truly, that had settled me into stillness, but that beggar’s stare. For a split moment we stood in silence, locked in a hug so uncomfortable, on both physical and metaphysical plane, I cringed. From the depths of me surged disgust, slimy and languid, and as his eyes flew over my form, I felt it crawling up my throat. Pathetic, I thought, he was pathetic gripping me like that, lazy for expecting me to hand him a dagger of words that could disembowel him. And yet between the irregular crack of his face, amongst the frosty spikes of hoar and rime I saw a soft spark of something strong, still not forged into completion, but nursed and thought over countless times. It was not ire, not anger, not pain. Calculated and mixed into a brew stronger than any combination of those emotions, he, probably yet not aware of the fact, has flung himself into a spiral of vicious madness, unrecognisable to those, who had not experienced misery. So, I spoke, handed him the tanto.

‘Where is your honour, Henry? What are you doing, pushing her away? Do you want to punish her, instead of him?’

With that, his guts spilled, the truth gushed out of his mouth. And his eyes, like the shark’s buttony orbs dilated at the smell of his own blood.

‘I’m not punishing her. I’m protecting her, keeping away from the just punishment I plan to deal.’

His voice sounded husky, gravely in my ear as he seeped venom into it. It burned, the temperature, the words, the slight tremble of his vocal cords as it all splashed against the shell and soaked into the eardrum.

‘I’m going to kill Bunny for what he had done to her, to us, to others, and she’ll have nothing to with this. With me.’

Stunned, I mulled over his words, I let the marinate inside my brain and I nibbled on every syllable like a capricious critic. I took them in, broke the pallet of tastes, analysed. Finally, after swallowing the context, after understanding the bitter flavour he has served me, slowly, I nodded.

‘But I will,’ not a question, a statement. ‘They will as well.’

Two shadows hummed in unison behind me, giving me an almost silent confirmation of what I’ve already figured out. A Cheshire, lucid grin cracked opened on Henry’s lips, as he too let out a pleased sound. His teeth, straight and white gleamed in the dark, two rows of beastly weapons.

‘I don’t think you have a choice, Richard, now you join us, or you join Bunny.’

Fear and trepidation scurried cross me as I realised, I had walked right into a murder council. Worse, elation washed over me with the realisation that the head of the jury, the demented predator, currently holding me in his grip, had no mercy to give to the swine I most desired to see dead.

#bunny corcoran #camilla macaulay #charles macaulay #francis abernathy #henry winter #henry winter x reader #richard papen #the secret history #afab reader #fanfic

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