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tia-222 · 2 months

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The void is The quantum field?

I found out about the void back in november 2023 on pinterest, and I joined tumblr because of it. Last night, I came across a tiktok video with the title "how to know if you're in the quantum field in your joe dispenza meditation". The girl in the video basically said things like: -Being disconnected from your 3D reality, how disconnected you are from the 3d from the meditation. -in order to create from the quantum, you can't be in space time, you have to be in time space. -You can't be trying to create from 3D, you have to be creating from "NOTHINGNESS" -going to your inner world Link to the tt video: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSF1nWtBc/ That's what she said. It hits me when she mentioned the word "nothingness" because the void is basically also the nothingness. The void is being everything and NOTHING at the same time. And I thought does that mean the quantum field and the void are the same thing? so if we do joe dispenza quantum field meditation we can get into the void? So you can simply go into the void/quantum field thru his meditation? I'm not promoting doctor joe dispenza or anything i wouldn't call myself an expert im just someone in the void community. I just thought this could help you guys! Anyway I found some of his quantum meditation on yt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwHLLVvPAng&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PWmCQMKwEw&t=27s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Jz7iy7wN0&t=600s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D I'd recommend doing the first one which is 1h 30mins bc idk it seems better. It may be long but do it for your desire life. Note: English is not my first language, I have never posted sth like this before idk if my explanations is understandable. I just want to share this everyone in the community.! @voidprincessblog pls help share this to everyone 😭😭😭

Hii love!! omg tysm for this <33.

Yess, the void has many different names to it and the " Quantum Field " is one of them. I've read becoming supernatural by Dr Joe dispenza and it's phenomenal. Many people have entered the Void State/ Quantum Field. I'm gonna talk about this right now and link some stuff from the book that y'all can read from.

What does Dr Joe dispenza say about the " QUANTUM FIELD " ?

" As you enter this endless, vast space as an awareness, there are no bodies, no people, no objects, no places, and no time. Instead, infinite unknown possibilities exist as energy. So if you find yourself thinking about knowns in your life, you are back in the three-dimensional reality of space and time. But if you can stay in the blackness of the unknown for long enough, it will prepare you to create unknowns in your life. "

Success story of how someone got healed Instantly :

" After they unfolded into the quantum field, I then asked them to dimensionalize a scene from their Mind Movie. When the meditation was finished, I instructed them to lie down on the floor—but as Sarah told me later, she couldn’t find the floor. She kept reaching lower and lower, searching for it, but it was no longer there. The next thing she knew, she was in another dimension having a full-on IMAX-like sensory experience—but without her senses. She was living a future scene of her Mind Movie. Enough circuits in her brain had turned on to make her internal experience as real as any external experience she had ever had. She was not visualizing this scene—she was in it, living it.

“I realized I was in another reality, a different time and space—I was in my future,” she explained. “And I was actually performing aerial yoga. I was hanging upside down and the floor wasn’t there. I kept reaching for it, but I was just swinging upside down from this beautiful red silk scarf. I felt freedom from my pain. I was swinging freely in space.” Eventually she did lie down, with tears of joy flowing down her cheeks. When she came out of that meditation, all of her pain was gone.

“I knew I was healed,” she said. “I was in awe of the power of my mind and I felt tremendous gratitude. I continue to manifest things from my Mind Movie—in fact, my Mind Movie can’t even keep up with my life.”

Also, there was an anon from an deactivated blog which spoke about entering the void by using Dr Joe dispenza way. I'm gonna copy and paste it here, and link it too 🖤.

" i have a fabulous book by dr.joe dispenza (how to become supernatural). he talks of the void state or the zero state and how you’re open to all possibilities and timelines. in it, he directed to first become aware of your body, the space you take between the folds of your skin, the space you take in your room, your home, your neighborhood, and the world. now- you must forget all of this and focus only on the black behind your eyelids. you must become no one, no thing, no body, no time in space. you must forget of your accomplishments, your worries, relationships- anything that makes YOU, you. literally on the first “try” of doing what he said i got into the void. it’s so easy i understand how stressful and confusing the void can be but just try to let go of all of that and focus on being nothing. imagine a beam of light going through the black space where your affs travel. stay focused and try not to dwell on the 3D. do not pay attention to the time or if you’re itchy- whatever. just having a clear mind helped me so much. ofc, this is not required but it does help!! " Original link

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radiance1 · 7 months

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Damian landed with a small thud in the alleyway, standing up and walking forward while unsheathing his blade. It drew an elegant arc in the air, before it tips was placed at another's throat, forcing them to tilt their head upwards to avoid injury. "What do you think you are doing here?"

Eyes were peeled open slowly, and the wheezy that filled the alleyway took on a more amused edge. "I don't know, why do you think I'm here," Danny tried to tilt his head, before stopping with a wince and a sharp intake. "Can't I just visit my big bro, from time to time?"

Damian tilted his head slightly, eyes roaming over the various wounds over his brother's body and the amount of ectoplasm on the ground around him, before leaving Danny with the most unimpressed look he could make. Danny chuckled wetly, before devolving into a coughing fit, then smiling wryly. "Heh, ya got me I guess."

"Tt." Damian lowered his blade, enough for Danny to no longer have to strain his head upwards. "What brought you to this state, Daniel? Those inventors you keep around are certainly brilliant, but incompetent." Damian's eyes narrowed. "So who."

"Yea, wasn't them. Can't really do that when you're blown to smitheries, right?" Danny chuckled humorlessly, before falling silent with a pained wheeze. His head threatened to fall downwards, and his eyelids drooped. A slight press against his neck snapped him back into the waking world. "Right, right. Okay so, would you believe me if I said that a," Danny swallowed. "A government branch is currently chasing me after they found out about my half-dead status?"

Damian stared silently, then sighed. "I'm not surprised, you always were an idiot." Danny puffed up his cheeks indignantly. "Hey! It wasn't my fault this time!"

"Whatever you say, Daniel." Damian pressed the tip of his sword further against Danny's throat. "That still does not explain why you came here, of all places."

"Amity Park's compromised for me, and well." Danny gave a half shrug, or at least tried too before wincing. "This is one of the last places they would look, and I'm too," Danny gesture to himself. "You know, to go for another fly."

Damian nodded. "I can see that." Damian dissected Danny with his eyes, taking in his injuries, his ruined outfit, the blood running down his face over one of his eyes.

Hm.

Damian let out an annoyed sigh, before twirling his sword away from Danny's neck and putting it back into its sheathe. He lifted the edge of his cape. "Get in before I regret this."

Danny blinked in surprised confusion. "What?"

Damian scowled. "Get. In." He flapped the edge of his cape for emphasis, and Danny blinked again, before suddenly being hit with a wave of understanding. "Oh, oh! Really?"

"I will not be repeating myself for a third time."

"Aw! I knew you cared about me!" Danny flew into Damian's cape, leaving a trail of ectoplasm behind in his flight that was quickly taken hold of by gravity and splattered against the ground.

Damian pulled a face, because he already felt like he regretted doing this.

"Robin, where are you?" His father's voice coming from his comm snapped him from his regret. He jumped onto a nearby pipe and flipped himself up onto one of the buildings, gritting his teeth in annoyance as Danny clapped with his cape. He glanced back at the alleyway, before turning.

"On my way, father." And just like that, he was out into the night with one extra (annoying) passenger.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny and damian are twins #Just stating this here that Lazarus Water and Ectoplasm isn't the same thing in this au #Teehee #Edit: Don't mind me rereading this and editing it lmao

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ribbonswrld · 6 months

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Bada different ways of showing love: like her different love languages and what she does 👀

I GOTCHUU I LOVE THIS

how bada shows love/bada's love languages!

cw: tooth rotting fluff, barely proofread, english is not my native language, enjoy <3

physical touch ;;

BACK 👏 HUGS 👏 ALWAYS 👏 !! literally cannot help herself. she gravitates towards you and always somehow finds herself leaning against you and holding you close from behind TT

and i think she absolutely will just always kiss you everywhere all the time. like i said she just always gravitates towards you and cant help pressing a chaste kiss wherever she can; the top of your head, your cheek, your nose, the crook of your neck, the corner of your lips...

holding your hand!! always!! and she definitely is the type to take your hand in hers and then stuff them in her pocket. she absolutely softly caresses your hand with her thumb as u guys r holding them :((

no matter your height, bada loves loves LOVES to pick you up and sway you in her arms!! and she melts if you are the one to jump in her arms and cling to her like a baby koala <33

she also will just. absolutely pull you on her lap. no matter the situation like. that is YOUR seat. sure sitting next to her and being able to lean on eachother is great but she really loves having you sit there and being able to hold you firmly!!

i think also like in the context of sitting on her lap for example she loves mindlessly rubbing your belly, your hips, your sides confortingly... she just loves everything about you and wants to touch you constantly </3

words of affirmation ;;

bada's second love language would absolutely be words of affirmation like. she just is so endeared by everything you do and you HAVE to know just how much she thinks you're adorable and pretty and amazing!!!

she passes out praise like free candy on halloween, for every little thing!!

basically always puts a "my" before every petname bc!! you're hers!!

even if you had a rough day and barely did anything she will still continue to praise you and comfort you.

"you did well, it's okay my baby. i know today was hard but i'm so proud of you."

will always remind you of how much she loves you every single day <3

acts of service

i think she absolutely loves to take care of you!!

for example, she likes taking a bath or shower with you and just wash your hair for you with soft touches and kisses... and then insists on helping you with skincare & blow drying your hair...

also gives KILLER massages like.!! girlie is a dancer, she knows muscle pain & knows how to relieve certain aches.

she loves to cook for you <3

also is always down to help you with whatever you work on!! shes passionate about what YOU'RE passionate about!! :((

quality time ;;

i think bada is absolutely the type to have a whole list of date ideas like. you WILL have atleast one date per week.

but tbf for her it doesnt really matter what you're doing as long as you are spending time together aw

she really really REALLY loves indulging you and your interests so if you want to go somewhere specific you WILL go together and she WILL spoil you and listen to your happy rambles.

however she also MELTS when you do the same for her like... she wants to go see this dance troupe? okay you'll come with her because you know that'll make her happy!! and she loves you for it. she loves how you both take interest in eachother's interests lol

i think shes also the type to be like "i miss my wife... it's been 4 years since she went at war..." and then you "babe we saw eachother an hour ago" and then she "one hour TOO LONG :("

i just made myself melt

anyway yeah shes definitely clingy and will miss u always hence why she loves spending time with you <3

gifts ;;

good heavens this woman LOVES to spoil you!!

every now and then she'll check her notes app to go thru things you've mentioned wanting/liking (yes i think she absolutely writes down anything she thinks you might want to have) and will go hm! i will buy her this today!

and if you're someone who isnt used to getting gifts like that and gets nervous about it moneywise i think she'll indulge you EVEN MORE!! but will also respect your boundaries to make you comfy so like if you don't feel comfortable with her giving you extra expensive stuff often? no problem she'll hold herself back and be smart about her purchases for you. although money is not an issue for her, she respects your financial ideals and boundaries <3

this made me so happy to write thank u nonnie for this adorable request <3!! i hope u enjoy!! and also bada definitely loves when YOU are the one to show your love the way she does <3 its all mutual!!

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #fem reader #sapphic #wlw #bada x reader #bebe x reader #lesbian #ribo answers!!#ribo writes!!#fluff #swf2 x reader #street woman fighter x reader #street woman fighter 2 #team bebe #team bebe x reader #bada lee fanfic #bada lee imagine

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mikanotes · 14 days

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happy birthday xiao i love uuuu here’s a really bad fic i wrote while very tired. sorry i couldn’t make anything better but TT oh well! /late spring ft. xiao x gn!reader warnings: none really? they’re dating except neither of them know idk. some existential talk. possibly ooc xiao i’m so sorry & i think that’s it!

A soft, soft breeze drifts through the curtains of Xiao’s room. There’s the gentle pitter patter of a rain calming down and the scent of nearby Silk Flowers. It’s all so gentle that Xiao feels this might be what mortals describe as feeling like one is floating on a cloud.

He stares at the horizon and heaves a quiet sigh, before letting his gaze dart towards a piece of paper on the desk by the window. Again. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t looked at it a hundred times since seeing it appear in his room following his daily patrol and fights against monsters.

Surprise was what he first felt, then something he doesn’t know how to name that made his heart tighten painfully, then something else that made it difficult for him to both look at the letter and look away from it all at once. He still feels that ache in his heart when he thinks about it, somehow, but it’s not really painful. It’s not the kind of pain that causes worry. He figures it’s closer to excitement than anxiety. He’s not sure.

In any case, he’s sure whatever he feels is way too much in comparison to the contents of that paper sheet.

“Hi Xiao! It’s me. I’m sure you know, right?

Is it alright if we meet up at Qiaoying Village?

When the moon is highest, maybe? No worries if you can’t come. If you only have a little time, no worries, it won’t be long. See you there, I hope.”

There it is again… He nearly curses under his breath, fingers coming up to tighten at the fabric of his top, right above his heart, twisting again.

He takes a deep breath and easily dispels the feeling, though he begins to worry about the ease with which something so simple makes his chest react so strongly. He looks up at the moon and decides his incessant checking has lasted enough, before taking a step back and disappearing from his room.

Qiaoying Village is like the Harbor in a sense. It’s full of life, full of people, and the exact kind of place Xiao usually avoids. But a village is always easier. It’s arguably much less crowded and the people tend to have unspoken rules about not being too noisy around a certain time of the night. So when it’s this late, and up from a nearby hill, it’s not half as bad as it would usually be.

“You came.”

He shifts his gaze your way and has to pretend he isn’t surprised. He isn’t, but it took him a second too long to notice you. His heart picks up in speed again and he clears his throat quietly.

Shush.

“You called. What is it?” he asks casually, taking a step closer to you. You’re sitting at the edge of the cliff, your bag settled on the grass with some sheets of paper and flowers peeking out. Is that Qingxin? You hum quietly, eyes trained on the horizon, then sigh. You seem to be pondering over how to answer. “Should I give you more time?”

“Give me a break, is what you should.” you retort, scoffing jokingly. He chuckles silently at that and decides to come sit at your side.

“Is this about my day of birth?” he asks, looking ahead as well, “I told you you don’t need to make a big deal out of it. It’s just another day.”

“It is.” you agree, tone sounding somewhat melancholic. Then you turn to look at him, gaze a bit persistent on getting him to do the same. He swallows thickly and glances at you.

“… It is.” he repeats quietly, blinking. “So?”

“You’ve lived really long. When did you stop celebrating your birthday? Did it become meaningless?”

Big talk. He’s not too surprised. There’s no point in not being honest.

“What if I never started?” he asks blankly. It’s not really meant to be rhetorical, either. “I don’t know what’s meaningful about this. It’s not as if I remember the day, either.”

You laugh softly at that. “No one does. That’s not what’s meaningful about it.” you say, gaze moving elsewhere. He doesn’t look away.

“Then?”

There’s a moment of silence, and he hears you hum faintly. It’s a long enough moment to let his mind wander to the clouds again, to that peaceful and heart-ache-inducing place where he thinks about you. He thinks about you the whole day, then thinks about you when you’re right in front of him. It isn’t the first time it happens, but it does feel stronger when it’s his birthday.

Then to him, this day…

“It’s meaningful in different ways for everyone, I think.”

“Really?”

You turn to look at him and frown. “You look elsewhere.”

He waits. He doesn’t know what for. (For his daydream to end. It doesn’t. You’re the dream in front of him. He’s cursed to ‘look elsewhere’ as long as you’re on his mind, he thinks, but there are worse things to be cursed with.) Then he shakes his head a little bit. “I’m here.” he states, “Why is your birthday meaningful?”

You make a face like you’re not buying his previous statement, for some reason, then huff.

“I don’t know. I can’t tell.”

He’s surprised. He tilts his head a little. “You… Can’t?”

You nod. “It feels like it lost meaning over the years. Maybe because I’m growing older? In any case, maybe it doesn’t actually need meaning…”

“You sound like you’re backtracking because I called you out.”

“You don’t need to point it out. Isn’t cake enough, anyways?!”

He scoffs softly. “Then what are we doing here?”

You look at him for a long few seconds, and this time his mind isn’t allowed to go anywhere. Your gaze anchors him where he sits and he can’t go anywhere else. He has no escape. He can only look at you. “Because I think it’s meaningful. I’m glad you were born, and that you exist, and that I get to exist with you.” you say, and he’s almost in awe at how easily all of this came out of your mouth.

“I…” I don’t understand, is what he wanted to say. But he thinks he feels blessed to be allowed to live a life where he got to meet you. So that just wouldn’t be true. He does understand. “I see.”

It’s been a few years since you’ve known each other. Around four birthdays, he recalls. You’ve been celebrating his birth on this day each year since you two met. It should make sense, then, that you cherish him. It should go without saying that you want to celebrate this day with him. But some part of him still can’t believe you really care this much. Before, he would have never dreamed of anyone caring so much about him they would even remember the day he was born. He thinks he would’ve probably forgotten it if it wasn’t for you.

Birthdays are meaningless for a Yaksha. For someone who lives so long and so alone. However he’s not alone, anymore.

So then to him, this day is now meaningful because you’re there. Because you invited him. Because you continue to remind him it matters to you. Because you want to celebrate that he was born, and that he exists. It’s meaningful because you care about him.

“Should I say it more clearly?”

“More clearly?”

“I hope I can remind you I’m happy you’re here for every year you and life itself allow me to.”

If Xiao’s heart hurt before, then he doesn’t know how to describe the way it feels now. It’s at least ten times worse. You’re really willing to waste this day each year, aren’t you? He wants to sound annoyed but he feels anything but.

“I don’t think…” he takes a deep breath, but it’s shaky. “I don't think it needed to be clarified. I got it.”

You unfortunately seem to catch on to how flustered he is and lean closer. His gaze hesitates between looking at you and elsewhere several times before settling on elsewhere.

“Your embarrassment is making mine disappear. Thank you, really.”

“So you were embarrassed…” Xiao scoffs under his breath, “Didn’t sound like it. Maybe I didn’t pay close enough attention.”

He feels your fingertips touch his face, silently asking to hold him. He lets you.

“Then pay attention.” you say, guiding his face towards yours. Your eyes are close enough to see the moon reflected in them. Pretty.

“I am.”

“Great.” you smile, “Happy birthday.”

Your palm is cold against the skin of his cheek. He swears your skin is usually the warmer one. Is his face warmer than usual?

He looks away. He can’t help it. “…Thank you.”

Your hand is even colder. No, his face is warmer.

Then you pull away and he misses how cool it felt, so he grabs your hand before it’s too far away, and holds onto the feeling of it in his. You hum in question and he just intertwines his fingers with yours before looking back up. It would seem nonchalant if his face wasn’t still so warm, but he doesn’t care too much. If the sky is on his side the moonlight will only be bright enough to see you and nothing else.

You’re the only one he’ll always be willing to celebrate something so meaningless with. You’ve been known (to him) to have a way of making things meaningful by simply being there, anyways. Maybe he should be the one to get you a gift for that. Flowers? He thinks about your bag again and wonders if you didn’t one-up him, already.

“Did you call me all the way here to talk about the meaning of our existence?” he asks, trying to lighten the air. You laugh and get your bag, not letting go of his hand.

“Nah. I got you something.”

He sighs, and smiles. “Of course you did.”

“It’s simple, okay? Don’t worry!”

#xiao x reader #xiao genshin x reader #xiao genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #x reader

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spacebarbarianweird · 3 months

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Hello Dear! I usually just read and fangirl on your HCs and series hihi but I was just gonna try if you can do a one shot of this prompt "One night, he tells you that these last six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery" I CRIEEED TT^TT when I got it on the epilogue and I just wanna get some fluff and angst around 👉👈 G/N Tav would be nice 🙏

I already did this with my OC Tav Tiriel in the fic The Rogue and the Barbarian but I will gladly write something else based on this prompt!

Aftershocks

Synopsis: One night, he tells you that these last six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery.

Tags: fluff

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion is in the dungeons.

It’s dark and damp, and he notices the chains nailed to the wall.

His body is sore as if he was beaten. He sits up and grabs a fistful of his own hair causing himself pain.

Of course, it was all a dream. The freedom, those four months of having the tadpole enabling him to walk in the sunlight. The six months after, in the shadows, but free.

You were a dream, too. It never happened. He is his master’s kennels, beaten and tortured and soon he will have to go on a hunt to bring another unfortunate soul to its demise.

Astarion rarely dreams but his elven mind is so broken he has acquired the ability to see surrealistic and very real things during his sleep. It’s even worse than remembering horrors because imagination knows no limits.

His skin will be flayed again and again. He will undress in front of strangers and will do things he doesn’t want to.

The tears burn his skin as the dark waters drown his mind in misery.

“Astarion! Are you alright?”

The voice is so unreal Astarion can’t believe he hears it.

You approach and kneel beside him. Then, you carefully take his hands from his face to make eye contact. “A nightmare?”

Astarion stares at you as if he was unable to believe you are real.

But you are.

It wasn't a dream. He really did walk in the sun for four months. He killed his master. He set himself free. And all those six months he walked on the roads of the Sword Coast, hand in hand with you.

Astarion digs his nails into his scalp as the feelings overwhelm him. He doesn’t know how to deal with it. Sorrow, anger. How did they dare to take his life from him? How did they dare to make him a slave, to lock him in the kennels? Why? Why did it happen to him? What did he do to deserve it?

But there are other feelings. Happiness, hope, joy.

He is free, after all. He had the gift of sunwalking for four months. He met you and he isn’t alone anymore. Your warmth soothes him and so does your blood. You are everything and more. Something he almost lost because of his blindness and inability to trust.

Your tender hands are stroking his back.

“I am a mess, ain’t I?” he cracks a smile.

“We all are sometimes,” you tug Astarion closer and cradle him in your arms.

He lies like that, his head pressed against your chest as you play with his curls and lull him like a child.

Now he remembers.

These dungeons are part of a long-abandoned castle. It was just safe to stay there without worrying about the sun. They just happen to be similar to the kennels Astarion used to belong to.

A mere year ago he was a slave. He would never believe it was possible to acquire all those things.

Freedom. A person to love. The whole world.

You are here to kiss away his tears and nightmares. He can drink as much blood as he needs, feeding on animals and his occasional enemies. You share your blood, too, and it helps with anxieties. When you sleep together you cuddle under a thick blanket skin to skin, and Astarion feels safe and protected.

Loved.

Fingers caress his left cheek.

“Oh, I’ve just noticed,” you giggle.

“What is it, my love?”

“You don’t have dark circles under your eyes anymore. And they aren’t that puffy! You used to look like a person who didn't sleep well.”

“I-I didn’t know you looked like that”

“You did look rather sickly when we met. Still beautiful, though, don’t worry.”

Astarion finally manages to relax. Gods, he thinks he's a wordsmith! He can't formulate a simple sentence that he's been wanting to say to you for a week.

“Love”

“Hm, what is it?”

“These last six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery”

You smile and he can’t take his eyes off your face.

“I love you, Astarion,” you tug him closer. “You are the best thing that could have happened to me.”

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion romance #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion angst #astarion drabble #astarion short fic #spacebarbarian fics #astarion fluff #astarion comfort #baldur's gate post game

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angelltheninth · 10 months

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hiii I wanted to ask about how the hsr men would treat their lover who's on their period and has really bad cramps TT suffering atm

Oof. My period just ended, hope everything goes well Anon.

Pairing: Blade, Caelus, Dan Heng, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Sampo, Welt x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, period pains, cravings, baths, massage, cuddles, intimacy, comfort

A/N: Sorry for the lack of content today and yesterday, had to part ways with my turtle but I know she'll be happier at the sea aquarium.

Blade likes to cause pain but of course hates seeing you in pain. This is one problem that him being nearly indestructible cannot solve and he has to accept that for all his proves sometimes you just need him to do the small things for you. Cuddling would be nice, if... he doesn't think it's gross. Gross? He's literally been covered in blood before! He can hang onto you like glue if that's what you need right now.

Caelus panics just a little because it was sudden. At first he thought you were hurt, then he saw where the blood was coming from. Ah, so its that time of the month for you. The first thing he does is offer you his coat to wear so no one sees the blood stain on your pants and he walks you back home. However he doesn't just up and leave, he offers to make you some comfort food while you go change and wash up if you want. You can still have your date at home and every date after.

Dan Heng offers to relieve the pain immediately, even though he doesn't really know what he's offering you. There are many ways and you hate that in your state your mind jumped to the one with no clothes on. Oh. Well if that helps he doesn't mind, really he doesn't but he was thinking more in the lines off a full body massage to relax you, maybe a few kisses sprinkled in. If things end up going really well, who knows, you might get your wish.

Gepard grew up around his sister so you bet that the moment he knows what's happening he's busting your door down with all the possible supplies you might need. A hot water bottle is on your lower stomach before you even ask him where he bought all of these things and why does he have so many bags? He does know you're not dying right? Well he's just being a worried boyfriend, you can't really be mad at him for that now can you? No you can't.

Jing Yuan notices something is wrong when you're pushing him away not bringing him closer when he goes in for a kiss. The moment you tell him you're on your period he lifts you over his shoulder, laughing as you ask him what he's up to now. As the General he orders you to take a few days off work for this. The papers will be there, but you can't go to work while you're clenching your stomach in pain. You let him take care of things. Speaking off, its his turn to cook isn't it? Anything you want? Oh. Well that's a lot of sweets but... who is he to argue with you?

Luocha has many herbal teas and pain meds ready at any given moment when traveling with you. This isn't new for him, he always carried them in case he stopped at a town where someone needed them. The pace slows down by a lot when you're on your period but he never holds it against you, what you're going through is natural. It might be uncomfortable and even painful at times, but that's why he's always by your side. His small smiles, his hand on your cheek, his attempts to make the teas taste more yummy so you can drink more because it makes you feel better, it's all part of his duty, not as a medic but as your boyfriend.

Sampo is used to seeing blood but not so much when its coming out of you. He knows its a monthly thing, it doesn't mean he's any more used to seeing you in pain over cramps. So every month he stocks up on your favorite bath bombs and lots of ice cream, and quite a few books to read to you when you're cuddled up in bed. He can't share this pain with you sadly but he can make you forget about it for a little while. And he knows he's a very handsome distraction.

Welt tries to be the best boyfriend he can be and check up on you on the regular, even when he's at work. He keeps an eye on his phone, just in case you remember something you need him to pick up on the way home. If you don't need anything he's more then happy to just cook you dinner with whatever is in the fridge at the time. Of course a little massage is must with him, just a tiny bit of pressure, nothing to bad, and a kiss after every whimper you make.

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strawbsstarz · 3 months

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Late Night Snacks: Draco Malfoy x reader

this is my first time writing creatively outside of school so please be nice, I've read too many fanfics that I've run out TT. Anyways if this goes well maybe ill write again but for now :> thank you & enjoy!

There was something about Draco Malfoy that was alluring, an invisible magnet that always pulled you. Maybe it was the way you wanted him to be put in his place? To let him know that no matter how hard he tries to prance around the room as if he owned the place, you won't give him the satisfaction of knowing that what he says and does, irks you. You'll simply brush it off as if it was nothing, maybe comeback with a remark to get under his nerves, let him know how it feels to be on the other end of the stick.

And that's how it was in your first couple of years. You two were known for the constant back and forth of bickering and teasing and annoying each other.

That's how it always was, him snickering something to his friends and pointing at you which then makes you roll your eyes at him, him sending you notes during class with the stupid charmed paper cranes that you rip up and throw at him whenever the teacher wasn't looking, then he'd shoot you a glare and you'd innocently smile to yourself pretending to focus on whatever was being taught in class, it was always like that, until fourth year.

Ever since he decided to ditch the hair gel, something in your heart fluttered upon seeing him and after catching yourself staring at him a little too long, you shoved whatever the hell you felt deep within you, somewhere hidden.

Your interactions with Malfoy remained the same, nothing ever changes between you two. Until you noticed that you began looking for him every time you entered a room, how every conversation with him had made you heart pulse a little faster than usual, how despite being on opposite sides of the classroom, you two would catch the other staring.

By the beginning of fifth year, you still found each other incredibly annoying, but something different had crept its way in there, whatever it was.

The secrecy of glancing at the other no longer remained a secret, sometimes you found him openly staring at you in the middle of class or during dinner and all you offered was a smirk, sending him a wink before he scoffs and fixes his attention on something else, acting seemingly annoyed. The pounding you feel in your chest never leaves even after that, and you feel the corner of your lips curling into a smile. You had convinced yourself how you couldn't wait to tease him about it, but deep down you knew the real reason.

In the late hours of the night you began sneaking around the hallways of Hogwarts, wanting a snack from the kitchen despite past curfew. Trying not to get caught by any teachers or prefects doing patrol, you tip-toe your way to the kitchen until you hear footsteps tapping their way in your direction.

"Shit!" you whispered to yourself, frantically looking around for a hiding place. A hand suddenly grabbed you, pulling you around the corner and into a broom cupboard. Your mouth covered, your back pressed up against this person's chest. You bit the person's hand from your mouth, and almost punched the guy behind you. As you turn around you see the familiar blonde hiss in pain frantically waving his hand in the air trying to shake it away. When you opened your mouth to speak, his finger rushed to his lips and in a hush quiet voice he said,

"Shh! You're gonna get us caught!" You hear the footsteps from outside and unconsciously backed up into him, away from the door, holding your breath. After a couple of minutes the clacking had stopped, you turned to face Malfoy and gave him a slap on the arm.

He winces, holding the place where your hand had just been, "A thank you would have been nice.."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? You're sneaking around in the middle of the night past curfew to Merlin knows where, you were almost caught, you're lucky I saved you."

You glare at him, "I would've handled myself just fine without you!" And with that you turn around leaving the broom cupboard, he silently walks behind you. Annoyed, he whispers, "Oh please! I am not about to risk losing house points from your stupidity"

You roll your eyes and scoff, "I was just gonna grab a snack"

He walks faster and stands next to you, "Can't you do that in the morning?" You continue walking your way to the kitchen, "Malfoy, it is morning." He groans, "Smartass." You turn to him, "Why are you following me?"

"To make sure you don't get caught and embarrass our house," he grumbles. You roll your eyes no longer having the energy for the conversation, as you enter the kitchen you quickly grab a couple of cookies and set them on a handkerchief you brought. Draco waited by the door leaning on the wall with his arms folded to his chest, a look of irritation displayed on his face, as if he was forced to be there.

As you two continued to make your way back to the slytherin dorms, he continued to scold you about how stupid it was for you to sneak out past curfew to the kitchen just because you wanted a snack, and how you almost got caught, and blah blah blah. It went in one ear and out the other, you just drowned him out as you nibbled on your cookie.

"Are you even listening to me?" He asks and before you could answer you could hear voices from across the hallway, echoing along with the sound of their footsteps. You both look at one another panicked, you motion your head for him to follow. Hiding in the same broom cupboard you hid in the first time.

Your bodies faced one another and you didn't realize how small the room was until now. Were you two really that close when he pulled you in to hide earlier? The echoes of the voices continued to grow louder and you found yourself holding your breath in, to keep yourself from making any noise, or perhaps to keep yourself from leaning into his scent. You freeze as you wait for the echoes to fade, silently watching the door, and holding your handkerchief filled cookies to your chest, the only thing that was in between you and his body.

After a couple of minutes of silence you finally allowed yourself to breathe. You look down at your cookies to make sure they didn't get squashed. A sigh of relief escaping your lips as you then moved your head to look up. Your breath getting caught in your throat as you remembered the distance between you two.

You found him staring at you, like he does during class, except this time, when you had met his eyes, he didn't show any signs of annoyance. His gaze was soft, and you bit your lip nervously. You saw his eyes shift from your eyes to your lips and back again to your eyes, slightly leaning forward. You stared at his eyes, getting lost in the cold grey color, but, it wasn't cold like it usually was, it was warm, and the unfamiliar warmth made your heart flutter once again, like it did before. You weren't dumb, you knew something was about to happen. In a state of panic, you raise your hand that was clutching the sweet treats in between your faces, "Cookie?" You offered meekly. All the confidence you had whenever your eyes met with his was gone.

He stares at you, raising an eyebrow as a smirk crept its way to his face as he looks down on you. Your lips were inches away and you offered him a cookie? Really?

He lets out a laugh, and you stare at him as a blush hued your cheeks. "Is that a no?" You raised your eyebrow, trying to seem confident when in reality all you wanted to do was curl up and die from embarrassment.

"Merlin L/N, how long are you gonna be willingly daft?" He teases. You frowned and began making your way towards the door, turning the knob to leave. "No cookie then," you huff as you walk out, breaking a piece off and throwing it in your mouth, Draco swiftly following behind and giggling, continuing to tease you as you walked back to the slytherin dorms.

There was definitely something between you two, but for now, let's leave it as undiscovered territory, as it seems one of you still refuses to admit it.

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merymoonbeam · 3 months

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Light and Dark

Cc3 spoilers. You have been warned. 🫡

My obsession with this connection started when I saw @silverlinedeyes post about the six-pointed star in hosab and I added how I thought it resembled the TT scene elriel has.

We have the six pointed star in hosab and ithan-Hypaxia explained it like this.

Ithan angled his head. “A six-pointed star,” he said. Like the one Bryce had made between the Gates this spring, with the seventh candle at its center. “It’s a symbol of balance,” she explained, moving away a foot, but keeping the dagger at her side. Her crown of cloudberries seemed to glow with an inner light. “Two intersecting triangles. Male and female, dark and light, above and below … and the power that lies in the place where they meet.”

And we have the Elriel TT scene.

Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade. I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife.

So as you can see by the same color highlighted parts. It matches quiet well. But we are gonna focus on the green highlighted part now.

As you can see ithan thinks that it resembled a six-pointed star when bryce made the drop with the Heart Gate.

Hypaxia said, “Look at the Gates.” The quartz Gates across the city began to glow. Red, then orange, then gold, then white. Firstlight erupted from them. Lines of it speared out in every direction. The lights flowed down the ley lines between the Gates, connecting them along the main avenues. It formed a perfect, six-pointed star. The lines of light began to spread. Curving around the city walls. Cutting off the demons now aiming for the lands beyond. Light met light met light met light. Until the city was ringed with it. Until every street was glowing. And Bryce was still making the Drop. It was joy and life and death and pain and song and silence.

The important part is here that it was the Heart Gate. The center of the crescent city. Map:

One of seven in this city, all carved from enormous blocks of quartz hewn from the Laconian Mountains to the north, the Old Square Gate was often called the Heart Gate, thanks to its location in the dead center of Lunathion, with the other six Gates located equidistant from it, each one opening onto a road out of the walled city.

So it is the...heart. you know what is described as heart in acotar? RAMIEL.

Ramiel. The sacred mountain. The heart of not only Illyria, but the entirety of the Night Court.

A little elain quote:

“When I sleep,” she murmured, “I can hear your heart beating through the stone.” She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. “Can you hear mine?”

And in my wild hunt post I theorized that Ramiel felt like the gates in a way. Because I think sarah took inspo from the Lia Fail stone from myths. It is one of the four treasures of Tuantha De Danaan. I went into more detail in my wild hunt post I link so Im not gonna add everything here again.

So Lia Fail.

The Lia Fáil was thought to be magical: when the rightful High King of Ireland put his feet on it, the stone was said to roar in joy. The stone is also credited with the power to rejuvenate the king and also to endow him with a long reign.

And we know that ramiel stone heals.

“Who healed you?” Nesta pulled back to survey them. “How are you even here?” “The stone,” Emerie explained, features soft with wonder. “It healed every wound on us the moment it brought us out of the Rite. We arrived here, of all places.”“I think it knew where we were needed most,” Gwyn said quietly, and Nesta smiled.

And we know that with firstlight you can heal. Does the ramiel stone consist firstlight and it works in a gate like way? It literally teleported them? How can it do that?

In hosab we have this:

“Your power came from the Gate—with a shit-ton of firstlight mixed in. So your magic—beyond the light, I mean— needs to be powered up. It relies on firstlight, or any other form of energy it can get. You’re literally a Gate: you can take in power and offer it. But it seems the similarity ends there. The Gates can store power indefinitely, while yours clearly peters out after a while.”

So a gate can take power and offer it and it can store indefinitely. If we take the ramiel as a first light storage of daglan with the ramiel stone it is working like a gate would?? Because in hofas the daglan under prison said they hid many things...under mountains as well.

Vesperus backed up a half step, hissing at the gleaming weapon. “We hid pockets of our power throughout the lands, in case the vermin should cause … problems. It seems our wisdom did not fail us.” “There are no such places,” Azriel countered coldly. “Are there not?” Vesperus grinned broadly, showing all of her too-white teeth. “Have you looked beneath every sacred mountain? At their very roots? The magic draws all sorts of creatures. I can sense them even now, slithering about, gnawing on the magic. My magic. They’re as much vermin as the rest of you.”

We have another light and dark scene with important sword and dagger. The dagger that was in the elriel scene—TT and Gwydion.

They are white and dark light—Alpha and Omega.(I have a post about this)

The male drew it, and Bryce flinched.

Flinched, but—“What the fuck?” The knife could have been the twin of the Starsword: black hilted and bladed. It was its twin. The Starsword began to hum within its sheath, glittering white light leaking from where leather met the dark hilt. The dagger— The male dropped the dagger to the plush carpet. All of them retreated as it flared with dark light, as if in answer. Alpha and Omega. “Gwydion,” the dark-haired female whispered, indicating the Starsword.

And whats important is that with her power bryce can unite them to open a portal to nowhere.

Polaris’s eyes widened as Bryce plunged the blades into her chest. And as those blades thrust through skin and bone, the star in Bryce’s own chest flared out to meet them. It collided with the blades, and both sword and knife blazed bright, as if white-hot. The light extended up through Bryce’s hands, her arms, her body, turning her incandescent— Into a star. A sun.

What's important is that as bryce collects Theia's power that was parted into three parts she starts to realize it is taking a touch of darkness...

Bryce rolled her eyes, but for a heartbeat, Hunt wondered if Thanatos was right: Bryce had explained how the prism in the Autumn King’s office had revealed her light to now be laced with darkness, as if it had become the fading light of day, of twilight—

And we go to that scene...

With a prayer to Cthona, she sent twin beams of light arcing around the prisms, shooting straight into them.Twin bursts of that light flared from either prism, gunning for each other. Bands of light falling into darkness, her power stripped to its most elemental, basic form. They shot for each other, and where they met, light and darkness and darkness and light slamming into each other—Bryce stepped into the explosion in the heart of it. Stepped into her power.It lit her up from the inside, lit up her very blood. Her hair drifted above her head, pens and papers and other office detritus flowing upward with it. Such light and darkness—the power lay in the meeting of the two of them. She understood it now, how the darkness shaped the light.

And the purple highlighted part...it is exactly the same as the six pointed star.

And if we go by the elriel scene...

Can you see the connection?

Also that elemental part in bryce's scene. we learn about that in acosf.

Cassian forced himself to sit perfectly still as Rhys dragged a hand through his black hair. “Once, the High Fae were more elemental, more given to reading the stars and crafting masterpieces of art and jewelry and weaponry. Their gifts were rawer, more connected to nature, and they could imbue objects with that power.”

And we know how theia and her line can use the TT and Starsword bc she helped them make them.

Theia extended her hands toward the water, the offered blades. And on phantom wings, sword and dagger soared for her. Summoned to her hands.Starlight flared from Theia as she snatched the sword and knife out of the air, the blades glowing with their own starlight. My mother returned that day with only Pelias and my father’s blades. As she had helped Make them, they answered to the call in her blood. To her very power.

So maybe Azriel and Elain have some kind of elemental magic as well?

Also the stone on top of ramiel...sings.

But when he’d touched the onyx monolith, when he’d felt that ancient force sing into his blood in the heartbeat before it had whisked him back to the safety of Devlon’s camp … It had been worth it. To feel that. With a solemn bow of his head toward Ramiel and the living stone atop it, Cassian caught another swift wind and soared southward.(acofas)

TT and Gwydion also sing.

“Let’s go,” Azriel said, and released her hand. Because the sword and dagger weren’t merely tugging now. They were singing, and all she had to do was reach out for them—

What's more interesting is @icedflames made a post about Fragarach and about the connection between gwydion and tt which came true in cc2 as we learned they were connected.

You have to stand on top of Lia Fail stone with Fragarach.

In Irish mythology, Fragarach (or Freagarthach), known as "The Whisperer", "The Answerer", or "The Retaliator", was the sword of Nuada, the first high king. The sword was forged by the gods and was meant to be wielded only by those who posed above the stone of destiny (the Lia Fail) which roared and the sword whispered in response.

So do we need to take Gwydion and TT to Ramiel? To that Stone? We need Elriel to do it bc all of them are "light and dark"? What will happen if they are all there?

Also dont forget about book of breathings prophecy.

Life and death and rebirth

Sun and moon and dark

Rot and bloom and bones

Hello, sweet thing. Hello, lady of night, princess of decay. Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn. Love me, touch me, sing me.

Also Fionn dipped the Gwydion to Cauldron.

Another shift of memory, and Fionn pulled a long blade from the Cauldron, dripping water. A black blade, whose dark metal absorbed any trace of light around it. Bryce’s knees weakened. The Starsword. Two other figures stood there, veiled in the thick snow, but Bryce hardly got a chance to wonder about them before Silene’s narration began anew.

And Cauldron sits upon Ramiel.

“The Cauldron,” Nesta said hours later, pointing to yet another carving on the wall. It indeed showed a giant cauldron, perched atop what seemed to be a barren mountain peak with three stars above it. Azriel halted, angling his head. “That’s Ramiel.” At Bryce’s questioning look, he explained, “A mountain sacred to the Illyrians.”

So we are going to ramiel with gwydion and tt? 🫡

#elriel #ramiel #gwydion and truth teller #light and dark #cc3 spoilers #I will add more to this if I find anything more usefull but as of now my brain is done and I cant add more to it #hofas

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nyxreads · 8 months

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"Azriel's shadow dance around Gwyn's breath = ENDGAME"

I'm quite tired of this, it's been three years now. Do people understand that Azriel is not his shadows? Azriel's shadows caress Feyre's cheek and neck the first time they met, was it romantic? Because it's more intimate than the shadows dancing around Gwyn's breath.

The more important matter is how AZRIEL reacts towards Elain rather than how his shadows (which, I might note, made sure Elain got back safely after their interaction thinking Az rejected her. Shadows that coiled like snake, ready to defend Elain, because Nesta insulted her. Shadows that helped Az presenting the gift for Elain.) acts towards Elain.

And how does Azriel act around Elain?

Azriel doesn't need his shadows to read Elain, meaning he can read her. He understand her. (In CC, we found that shadows disappears when the person is happy and comfortable, plus even Az's shadows skitters away from him when he laughs)

Azriel waited for Elain to give her offer and permission.

Azriel knew Elain doesn't want Lucien and is very uncomfortable around his mate.

Azriel sat down with her during the longest night of the year, just talking.

Azriel was relaxed around Elain while she's presenting him her plans for the garden

Azriel was ready to risk his own life to save Elain.

It was Azriel who figured out she was missing, Azriel who figured out her powers and freed her from all the confusion she was experiencing

Azriel never let go of Elain even though she's alright and he was the one bleeding, he needed to be sure she'd be taken care of first

Azriel always reaches out for Elain.

Azriel bought her a present, bought the necklace thinking of ELAIN, and doesn't care if the necklace was given to another priestess as long as he get rid of it because it reminds him of pain

Azriel lend the TT (the one thing he never let anyone touches) to Elain, trusting her with it and wanting her to have a protection

Azriel followed Elain's laugh, wondering what had caused it.

Azriel was affected by Elain and Lucien's mating bond to the point where he cannot even stand in the same room with them together

Azriel wants Elain. Not just because of lust, but because maybe, after 500 years he already found his home.

Idk about you, but if I ever read Rhysand or Cassian wanting to taste another woman before ending up with their mate? Think about it.

If the only argument is about the shadows, then maybe ship the shadows and Gwyn? not Azriel and Gwyn? Since most people are convinced crackship=OTP, why not we make the real OTP, #ShadoWyn? Because Azriel, on the only POV we got so far from him, wasn't interested romantically to Gwyn. No, he never even considered her as a friend. Gwyn never even showed she's attracted to him, she blushed for Rhysand not for Az.

If these readers aren't even concerned about Elain's feelings and hated her so much, then I guess, they should just consider Azriel's wants and needs? Because it is Elain. He found his happiness with her. Feyre even pointed out that he never heard such a deep and joyous sound from him until Elain.

There's no need to deny every Elain and Azriel interaction throughout the series over the last 10% of a bonus chapter. It makes one think most people never read the actual books but place so much value over a chapter that wasn't available for everyone.

The POV ended up with a cliffhanger. But it never ended Elriel because it was all just a beginning, their book is yet to come and by then I hope everyone is ready to accept what SJM has been hinting us from ACOMAF until ACOSF. No need to twist texts or take every parallel that are out of context, no need to call Elriels crazy and throw out degrees. Just simply read the series with open mind, and maybe tone down the Elain hate? Okay bye.

#elriel #azriel shadowsinger #elain archeron #acotar #acosf #i swear that fb comment annoyed me today #i usually laugh it off but wtf #shadow x gwyn #shadowyn #shadows caressing a face isn't romantic but dancing around a breath is #got it #shadowyn forever

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jjhyn · 2 months

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“pink carnations”

pairing: riize song eunseok x reader “y/n”

genre: strangers to lovers

plot: every year, for the last 4 years, you’ve always visited your mom’s grave, each year it gets harder and harder. this year, you weren’t able to visit your mom’s grave on her death anniversary, but when you visit the day after you see a bouquet of flowers that you didn’t bring.

warning: aside from mentions of death, i don’t think so but please let me know if there are

notes: obsessed with riize TT so i’m going to be writing a couple of riize au/fics and uploading them - italics are dialogue but they will also be in quotations i just like to differentiate them from regular text sometimes lol also slight sungchan mention - also this isn't proofread lol

word count: 3902

thursday

“hey, are you going to visit mom today?” your older sister asks you through the phone. you ponder for a moment before responding. “i don’t think so. i’ve got that deadline at work that i need to finish but i’ll probably visit her later tonight or tomorrow.” you respond, a small amount of guilt hitting your chest for the lie. truth is, your mother’s passing has only gotten harder on you the last few years. you’ve lived out your dreams but what was it worth when your mom wasn’t there to see you reach your successes? or even say she was proud of you…

“you know…” your sister breaks you out of deep thought, “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. i know ever since mom died you’ve kinda thrown yourself into your work and it’s nice to see it pay off but you need to find happiness again. i know it’s easier said than done but…” your sister stops her sentence there. you think about what she just said, almost as if she knew you were lying about your work situation and that she read you like a book. “we’ll grab dinner this weekend okay? i haven’t seen you in a while and i’m not taking a no; its the weekend i don’t wanna hear and work bullshit.” and the line cuts off. you sit at your dining table for a moment, looking out the window and taking in what your sister said when your phone gets a notification.

5 Years - Mom’s Anniversary March 14 2024

you forgot that you had set a yearly reminder onto your phone, you swiftly swipe away the notification. it felt a little stupid to have that reminder, only because how could you ever forget when your mom’s death anniversary was? you only kept the reminders because in some way it made you feel more accountable, but this year you weren’t going to visit her. you would eventually, probably tomorrow, but not today; you had too much on your mind and you’d probably break down more than the last few years if you went to go see your mom.

thursday evening

you had finished work early today, which was almost never but you knew today would be somewhat easy going as you just closed out a deal the day before leaving the rest of the week with almost no work to be done. “wanna grab a drink with us after work?” your coworker sungchan from IT asks you, his head popping into your office. he was cute but a relationship wasn’t something you needed right now. you softly smile at him, “not tonight, you guys have fun.” you politely decline and he dramatically acts like you just stabbed him in the heart, clutching the left side of his chest and letting out a fake painful groan. the two of you share a laugh as he slowly enters your office and stands next to your desk. he leans over and softly places his hand over yours, “i know today is hard for you, but just know i’m here for you if you need anything.” sungchan says looking deeply into your eyes. a warm feeling makes its way across your face and before the tears start to pool at your eyes you take your hand back and just smile and nod. sungchan takes this as a sign you’d like to be left alone so he does just that, exiting your office but not before he takes one last look at you, to which he sees you’re now chewing on your bottom lip and looking out the window.

it was around 7:30pm when you left the office. you could’ve gotten home a lot earlier before the sun had set but you made yourself busy at work. finding anything to do just to avoid having to go home. your drive home didn’t feel real, almost as if you were in limbo, for a while it felt like you weren’t moving on the road but everything else was moving around you. it wasn’t until you turned onto your neighborhood did you snap out of this weird feeling. you had no thoughts in your head but upon entering your home you instinctively went to your kitchen to grab a glass of wine and made your way into your bedroom. changing out of your work clothes and into pajamas, you climbed out onto your roof. something you really enjoyed about your home, a balcony that led to the roof with a ladder. whenever you were up there it felt like nothing else in the world existed. like you were on top of the highest mountain, the only person for miles, and it was just you, the sky, and the never ending thoughts of perrill as you finish your glass of wine.

*beep* 9:56am *beep* friday morning *beep*

you're awoken by your alarm and the cold air pinching your cheeks. you had accidentally fallen asleep on your roof. your lips were chapped and hair frizzy from all of the morning wind. thankfully it didn’t rain. you grab your phone to turn off your alarm when you realize the time, your’re almost 2 hours late to work, getting ready now would only make you even more late. you quickly dial sungchans work phone but he doesn’t answer so you try his cell but nothing either. you leave him a voice, asking him to cover for you in case something at work comes up. even though you’re in different departments, he’s always had your back; the two of you were in the same group of new hires when you both joined the company.

you made your way inside, getting out of the cold and plopping down onto your bed. you let out a groan as you do a full body stretch, regretting falling asleep on the roof as your back slightly aches but now grateful for the comfort of your mattress. you get a text, assuming it’s from sungchan to which it was, “don’t worry, got you! *winky face*” you smile, mentally thanking him when you get another text. “oh… was that winky face weird..? sorry!” he says with 3 wide smile face emojis. you can’t help but laugh and find his actions cute. you text him a thank you and saying you owe him one to which he says you’ll have to grab drinks with him sometime.

it’s almost noon when you finally decide to get out of bed to get ready to visit your mom’s grave. every year it not only got a lot harder on you without having your mom but going to see her grave got harder because it was just a constant reminder of how close she was but so far away at the same time.

2:28pm friday

you’re driving to the cemetery, trying to compose yourself; getting ready to leave wasn’t so hard but the closer you got to leaving the house and getting into your car made your anxiety rise. you’re not necessarily an anxious person, but right now everything seems to be causing you to panic. you sat in your for half an hour, catching your breath, before you could even start the car. you’re driving with the windows down, needing the extra air to breathe as it feels like the air in your lungs are being funneled out of your body the closer you get to your destination.

when you see the familiar stone fixture at the front of the cemetery you let out a huge breath. almost as if you had been holding your breath the whole drive there. you quickly find parking when you realize you didn’t bring flowers or anything to offer your mother. you shut your eyes and almost fall to your knees. a ringing in your ears causes you to wince, making you regret coming all the way here. you question whether to just leave and quickly grab flowers, or stay, or just leave altogether and maybe come back during the weekend with your sister.

a sudden burst of wind envelopes you, almost like a hug. taking it as a sign from the earth to stay, you release one more deep breath before making your way to your mother’s grave. as you pass the other tombstones, adorned with candles and colorful flowers, you almost want to turn around and just run back to your car but something keeps telling you that you shouldn’t and before you know it you’re standing over your mother’s grave.

a bouquet of pink carnations rests to the left of her tombstone, adjacent to the bouquet your sister brought during her birthday at the beginning of the year. “i wonder why she got pink carnations this time?” you think to yourself, questioning your sister’s decision of flower choice. you spend the next few hours just sitting there, catching up with your mom, telling her the new stuff in your life, mentioning sungchan but only briefly because you know her response to any boy in your life would be to automatically bring him to meet her so she can feed and investigate him.

your phone rings so you reach for it inside your bag. pulling it out to see that it was your sister, you quickly answer. “hey, what are you up to?” she asks after you answer. “i’m actually at mom’s grave right now. probably going to head home soon i’ve been here for like 3 hours now.” you respond, as you pick yourself up from the ground and dusting off the dirt from your clothes. “that’s nice, i’m glad you got to visit her.” she says, “yeah, i’m glad i did too. hey why’d you choose pink carnations this time?” you ask her. theres a slight pause before your sister responds. “pink carnations?” she says like she has no idea what you’re talking about. “yeah, the bouquet you left at mom’s grave? don’t we usually bring her roses or sunflowers?” you explain. “i wasn’t able to visit her yesterday, that’s why i called you; i was going to ask if you wanted to go together today.” you make a confused face, now unsure who the bouquet is from.

you bend over to pick up the flowers, “someone probably left it on accident or maybe it was one of my mom’s friends. you know she was popular at the market we used to go to as kids.” your sister explains but you remain silent, observing the flowers. “look, let’s catch up this weekend, maybe saturday?” and you just respond with a short “mhmm” before ending the call.

with the bouquet in hand, you turn around when a voice startles you. “they’re for remembrance.” a boy says behind you as you slightly jump from the sudden voice. “sorry…” he shyly chuckles, “didn’t mean to scare you.” you’re looking at him, blinking rapidly. “remembrance?” you ask. “yeah…” he walks closer and grabs the flowers from your hands and places it back where they were when you had arrived. “pink carnations are for remembrance. they’re also a symbol for gratitude and heartache for someone you love” he explains. you’re now staring at his back as he places the flowers down, he turns around and you’ve come to your senses when you realize you’re staring.

“sorry this is probably weird. uhhh. i’m eunseok” he extends his hand to shake yours. you shake his hand, “y/n” you tell him as you shake hands. “nice to meet you” eunseok smiles and you feel your heart beat faster. “were you the one that left these?” you ask him, pointing at the carnations. “uh, yeah i did. hope that’s okay, i noticed no one stopped by yesterday so i thought i’d leave some flowers.” he tells you while wiping his hands on his pants. “wait, what do you mean? why would you leave flowers for my mom?” you question him, unable to read if you were getting a red or green flag from the random boy. “i see you every year, my mom’s grave is just that way.” he points to a tombstone a few feet away. “i always see you whenever you bring your mom flowers, i spend the whole day at my mom’s grave on her anniversary and when i didn’t see you yesterday i thought i’d leave some for her so she didn’t feel forgotten.” this boy, who you didn’t even know, remembered to bring your mother flowers on her death anniversary when it was so hard for you.

it made you think about how the hardships you were facing were all in your head. that the turmoil of facing the truth that your mother’s passing is real and was something you were eventually going to have to come to terms with. you realized you needed to get out of your head and that your mother passing wasn’t the thing stopping you from finding happiness, it was yourself. a stranger’s kindness felt like the comfort you’d feel from your mother’s embrace after a long day.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you.” eunseok says in a panicked voice. you realize that you’re crying and he offers you a small towel. you wipe your tears with your hands and eunseok retracts his hand with the towel and places it into his pocket. “no, i’m not upset. that’s very kind of you eunseok. sorry i don’t know why i’m crying.” you explain trying to stop the tears. “that’s okay.” he smiles. “sometimes we just need to cry. it may not seem like it but i spent most of yesterday crying, i’m kind of glad you weren’t here so you didn’t see me crying” he chuckles and his small joke also makes you laugh.

“it was nice meeting you, i should head out it’s getting late.” you say and his smile forms into a straight line. “yeah, i was just heading out too when i saw you and overheard your conversation.” the two of you begin to walk together to the parking lot. “how come you came back today?” you ask him. wondering if yesterday was his mom’s death anniversary like yours; why did he come back today. “i’m not sure. i just felt like it, like something in the air was telling me i should go see her.” he says with a shrug and it makes you think about how upon arriving here the air seemed to comfort you and let you know you were in the right place.

the two of you arrive at your cars, which coincidentally, are parked next to each other. you enter your car with a big sigh as you lean your head back onto your headrest. as you’re about to start your car you notice something from the corner of your eye, making you turn your head. you see eunseok somewhat leaning outside of his car, waving his hands; trying to get your attention. you roll your windows down, your heart beating faster, like it was going to explode. “your tail light is out by the way.” eunseok says and you briefly look to the back as if you would see it. you smile softly at him and thank him before he retreats back into his car.

you back out of your parking spot, almost wishing he had asked you out. sure he was just a stranger but his kindness alone was enough to make you swoon. let alone his kindness to your mom, he was also attractive. as you’re exiting the parking lot, you think about all the times your mom asks you if you have a boyfriend or when are you going to get a boyfriend, only for you to respond with a groan or rolling your eyes at her. maybe this was a sign from your mom, bringing eunseok and his kindness through pink carnations to your mom’s grave. your mom truly bringing him to you.

you’ve been stopped at the exit of the parking lot for a few minutes now when you realize eunseok has just been behind you, probably growing tired and confused waiting behind you. you close your eyes and let out a breath before putting the car in park and exiting. you walk towards eunseok’s car and see that he’s rolling the window down. “do you wanna go out sometime?” you ask him as you look into his eyes. you could almost see the sunset in his eyes the way they reflected light. “as a thank you… for the flowers you left my mom.” and to what seemed like eternity waiting for a response from eunseok, you felt disheartened. maybe you thought too much into it. what were you even thinking taking this as a sign that you may have found love. before you turn around and walk away, eunseok stutter’s out a response. saying sure, prompting the two of you to exchange phones to add each other’s contacts.

you grab your phone from eunseok and return his phone. after you’ve entered your car again and exited the parking lot you let out a squeal. just like you would when you were younger whenever you’d tell your mom about the boy you had a crush on in middle school and how he looked so cute during lunch time.

eunseok

eunseok sighs and slightly hits his head, “idiot! why didn’t you ask her out?” he says. when he’s getting ready to leave he notices you’ve already driven off and are about to exit the parking lot, he pulls up behind you, waiting for you to make your turn onto the road. thinking about how he’s going to have to wait a whole nother year before being able to see you again. his little crush he’s developed over the years while visiting his mom.

eunseok realizes he’s been waiting for a while behind your car when he stops thinking about regretting not asking you out. he sees you put your car in park and he watches you exit the car and make your way to his window to which he rolls down.

“do you wanna go out sometime?” you ask as eunseok pops his head out his car through the window. “as a thank you… for the flowers you left my mom.” you explain further. eunseok is shocked you just asked him that he’s a bit speechless. the silence is so deafening you take it as a no, but before you walk away he stutters out. “s- sure.” you hand him your phone and so does he, adding one another into each other’s phones. you make your way back to your and exit the parking lot. once you’ve left eunseok can’t stop smiling, cheeks flush; almost as pink as the carnations. he even double checks his phone to make sure you really did put in your number, you even texted yourself through his phone.

next year

“ready?” eunseok asks. it’s been a whole year since you met eunseok. the day after both of your mother’s death anniversary. your relationship has grown a lot within that one year. growing closer each day, getting to know one another, and eventually dating. he’s parked outside of your job, standing next to his car.

today marks another year, the day of both your mother’s death anniversaries. he’s come to pick you up after work so the two of you can visit your mothers. you walk out the office building towards him with a smile and nod. he extends his hand out to you and you grab; the two of you quickly share a kiss. you enter the car and he closes the door behind you and makes his way to the driver’s seat. before he drives off you groan, “what’s wrong?” he asks placing his hand over yours and slightly rubbing it. “i forgot to grab the flowers, i’ve been so busy with work and-” you start to ramble, feeling your anxiety start to build in your chest. “hey… everything is okay. i’ve got it” he says. soothing your nerves. you look at him endearingly and he shares a smile.

he reaches in the back seat and presents you with a bouquet of flowers, specifically pink carnations. “you got them?” you ask. “of course, i’d never forget.” he responds. your heart was now beating a lot faster, not because you were anxious or that you were beginning to feel like the world was crumbling beneath you; but because eunseok has started to make you feel happy. replacing your anxiety with joy and allowing you to grow out of your habits of suffering alone. that we would gladly suffer with you if it meant at the end, there was no pain but just love.

the two of you arrive at the cemetery, deciding to visit your mom first since eunseok’s mom was a bit further down; you’d visit her after. you introduce eunseok to your mom and vice versa. tell her about the year you’ve had and how happy and grateful you are to have eunseok in your life. he holds you tight, an arm around your shoulder; slightly rubbing your arm to further your soothe and provide comfort.

you pull out some photos from your bag, childhood photos you wanted to share with eunseok and your mom. a few of you and your sister during your birthdays, photos of you beginning the first day of school, but one in particular caught eunseok’s eye. a photo of you and your mom at han river, she's bent down to your small height helping you blow bubbles. it wasn’t the image of you and your mom that caught his eye but something in the back of the photo. a mother is holding her small son up on her shoulders. she’s wearing a bright yellow sundress while the son is fitted into a red shirt and denim blue shorts with a cap that has a propeller on top.

“wait…” eunseok says causing you to pause your trip down memory lane of childhood photos. “everything okay?” you ask him as you turn your head to face eunseok. he brings his arm from around your shoulder to grab something from his bag. he takes out a small tin box, one an assortment of cookies used to reside in. “cookies? eunseok are you hungry?” you ask him with a slight chuckle. “no… look.” he says after opening the tin box and flipping through some photos. he hands you a photo, one that looks familiar but you can’t tell why. the photo is of eunseok as a baby, sitting on top of his mom’s shoulders. “aww, you’re so cute! look at your little hat.” you say pinching his cheek. “nooo, not that. look at this.” he grabs the photo of you and your mom blowing bubbles and puts them next to each other. there you realize that in the back of your photo with your mother at han river, there was a boy with his mother as well; and in the back of eunseoks photo with his mom, stood a mother bent over to help her daughter blow bubbles.

the two of you make eye contact, realizing that at this moment. you’re both sat at the cemetery your mother’s are buried in together, in which another instance in both your lives, where the two of you alongside your mother’s were near at hand. sharing the memory of a joyful time with not only your mother’s but now with one another.

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

#kpop #kpop au #kpop fic #riize #riize x reader #riize imagines #eunseok #kpop fanfiction #fanfic #kpop fanfic #kpop writing #song eunseok #sungchan #jung sungchan

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