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#so i'm sorry if i haven't replied to your messages :((
steakout-05 · 1 month
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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reddstardust · 1 year
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Your art is just like so soft and cozy the shapes are so pleasant! Also the way you draw faces is so recognisable (/pos) I couldn’t tell you why but it’s just it’s great
Aw thank you, that means so much coming from you! 💗
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jinhyun · 11 months
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oh no monnnn, i’ve read all the nasty asks you’ve got :( and i’m sorry that those anons are so entitled as a reader by telling you what to do and what not when this is YOUR story. i hope you don’t pay attention to any of them because you still have us, who will always support and love you no matter what 💞
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 thank you so much, lovie<3
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colorstormx · 1 year
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clawing my way out of a depressive episode and gotta say, the vanilla extract memes are helping more than they probably should
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sensazioneultra · 1 year
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sending lots of them back 💗💗💙💙
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monster-noises · 2 months
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I hate dating apps too so lets call tumblr a dating app and ill sweep you off your feet 🎃
HUARGHG pumpkin I'm so sorry that I left this in my inbox so looooong its been a Rough Week =<= sdfshdfsd this is very flattering though thank you v///v)/\ (unfortunate that there aren't too many functionality similarities between tumblr and a dating app cause that would have been a Great place for a pun)
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golden-cherry · 3 months
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deal - cl16 (23/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: There's nothing sweeter than unexpected visitors.
Warnings: 18+ (just be prepared for some words), fluff (like a lot), Pascale is the sweetest thing on this planet, teeny tiny bit of angst
Word Count: 3.2k
series masterlist
previous part
A/N: hello everyone! I hope you all are doing okay after the Ferrari-Carlos-Lewis thing, because I'm still in denial. this is mostly fluff, because I couldn't manage you dealing with more bad stuff this week. love you! feedback is appreciated!
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Before you can say anything or even react, the blonde woman lets go of your hands and snatches one of the magazines lying on the coffee table in front of you. She rolls it up with her slender fingers before smacking Charles across the back of the head. 
"Maman!" he exclaims angrily, rubbing his head. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?"
The woman holds the magazine under his chin so that the Monegasque has no choice but to look her in the eye and return her stare. "That's no way to talk to your mother." She puts the magazine back in its rightful place before turning to you again. "Try again, chéri."
Your friend has to hold back a grin before he spreads his arms out and hugs his mother. "Good morning, Maman. It's really good to see you."
"It's good to see you too, mon chéri," she replies lovingly, stroking his broad back once with her hand before releasing herself from the tight embrace. She puts her hands to his cheeks to study his face. "I didn't know you were back home."
Charles tilts his head, his mouth forming a thin line. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know," he replies meekly, taking her hands from his cheeks so that he can press a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "I've had a lot on my mind."
"I can see that." She pulls her hands from his and then turns to face you. When she looks at you, you stiffen. All of a sudden, you feel as if you're naked in Charles' clothes, she's looking at you so piercingly. "I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself properly yet. I'm not usually as rude as my son." Charles rolls his eyes as her smile is affectionate and gentle. Then she wraps you in a hug that is careful, but firm nonetheless. It's a good hug. "I am Pascale. It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise." After you've also introduced yourself, you return her smile. 
"Now that you two have met," Charles interrupts your conversation. "How do we come to be honored with your company, Maman?"
As if it was her own home, her own four walls, Pascale leaves the hallway and goes into the kitchen, where she grabs a cup and makes herself an espresso at the coffee machine. Like two lost puppies, the two of you follow the beautiful woman. "I was called in tears last night." When the loud buzzing of the machine stops, she takes a sip of her coffee before placing it on the countertop. "Can someone explain that to me?" With her eyes glued to her son like an annoying price sticker on a new plate, you're off the hook. 
"I didn't think she'd call you."
She?
"And I didn't think you'd just kick her out of the apartment without giving her some warning," Pascale replies sharply, raising an eyebrow to show her disapproval of Charles' behavior. "She called me in the middle of the night, upset with you and crying bitterly because you kicked her out of the apartment with a simple text message."
Something flashes in your mind. When you followed Charles back to the bedroom last night, he was typing away on his cell phone. And when you told him that he'd be crazy if you went with him to the apartment where his ex still lives, he assured you that she wouldn't be there. 
You didn't expect him to just throw Annika out of the apartment so that you would have a safe place where Raphael couldn't harm you.
"Maman." Charles raises his hands placatingly. "It wasn't like that."
"So you didn't send her a text message telling her to pack her things and leave within thirty minutes?" When Charles doesn't reply, but simply stares at his mother open-mouthed, she runs her fingers through her hair in bewilderment. "I didn't bring you up like that. Have you completely lost your mind?"
"Maman -"
"No 'Maman'." Judging by the look on her face, she would like to hit him over the head with the magazine again. "Do you know what the consequences could be?"
"Maman -"
"She could go public with it!"
"Maman -"
"And - and damage your reputation! She could -"
"Maman!" Charles almost shouts at his mother to break out of her mental spiral. She looks angrily at her son, who takes a small step towards her. He lowers his hands. "Annika cheated on me."
As if all the air had escaped her body, Pascale plops down on the chair where you were eating pancakes just a few minutes ago. She puts her face in her hands and takes a deep breath before looking at her son again. She tries to blink away the tears in her eyes. "Is there anything I can do for you, mon chéri?"
Without answering, Charles closes the distance to his mother and holds her tightly in his arms. He rests his cheek on the top of her head and closes his eyes. "It's all right, Maman. Please don't worry, okay?" He squeezes his mother a little tighter as her arms wrap around his middle. "It's all right. I'm all right. I'm in good hands here."
Pascale's gaze flickers to you and a small smile crosses her beautiful face. You recognize Charles in it. "You'll take good care of him, won't you?"
You feel the blood rush to your face. Suddenly it feels wrong to be witnessing this loving conversation between mother and son. "Of course." With everything I have.
"Very well, chéri," Pascale finally says, gently pushing her son away. "Your brother is coming to visit tomorrow. As you haven't seen each other for a while, I'd like you to come to dinner. He would definitely be happy to see you." She looks at you again. "You too, sweetheart."
Before you can respond, Charles looks at you and shakes his head, barely noticing, so you don't turn down her invitation. "All right, maman. We'll be there." He nudges her lightly with his elbow. "As long as there's pasta e pollo."
Pascale rolls her eyes. "You're incorrigible, Charles." She smiles at him anyway. "Your new girlfriend gets to decide. After all, she's the new addition to our family and I want to make a good impression."
"Maman, she's -" Charles tries to explain himself, but his mother merely raises her hand to silence him. When Charles and your eyes meet, you feel warm. And when he pushes his lower lip forward, he looks so cute that you can't help but agree with him. 
"Pasta e pollo sounds great."
Pascale gets up from her chair. "Very good. Then I'll get everything ready for tomorrow." She strides past you towards the front door and you follow her again. "I'll see you tomorrow evening. I'll let you know the exact time, mon chéri." She kisses Charles' right and then left cheek before repeating it with you. "Tomorrow we'll have enough time to talk about all this. And to get to know each other better."
"I can hardly wait," you answer her honestly.
"That's very nice. Then I'll see you tomorrow evening. Bonne journée," she wishes you before disappearing from the apartment just as quickly as she came in. As the door closes behind her, you both exhale deeply.
"I'm so sorry." Charles turns to face you.
You cross your arms in front of your chest. "Sorry for what exactly? Your mother suddenly showing up here?"
He runs his hand through his hair and leans back against the closed door. "That you're now forced to spend the evening with my family. And that I didn't make it clear that we're just friends."
You run your tongue along the inside of your teeth. "It's okay, there's plenty of time for that." Then you smile. "Your mom seems nice. I have no problem spending time with her."
He laughs briefly and then leans his head against the white wood. "It's not my mom that worries me. It's my brothers. They can be really - you know - brothers sometimes."
You walk towards him and lower your arms. "Why? Are they that bad?"
He grabs one of your hands and plays with your fingers. His eyes search yours. "I think it's better if you make up your own mind about them."
"So they're that bad?" you joke, allowing him to pull you closer so that you're standing between his legs. "If they're anything like you, I think I'll get on well with them."
His free hand rests on your hip. Despite the layers of fabric, you can feel the warmth of his skin. "Then you'll hate Arthur." His fingers press gently into your flesh before something behind you catches his attention and he releases you - too quickly for your liking. As you turn around, the piano catches your eye and the roses standing on it. 
"What's the plan for today?" you ask him, trying to draw his attention back to you. You release his hand from your hip, but only to pull him into the kitchen so he doesn't have to look at those stupid roses anymore. "Do you have to do anything? Gym? Or do you have any appointments?"
Charles sits down in his chair and fishes his cell phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants. "I don't think so," he answers and takes a look at his online calendar before placing his cell phone on the counter in front of him. "I don't have any appointments or commitments to meet until after Christmas. Until then, I'm all yours." His smile is sweet as sugar and your heart skips a beat.
You want to grab him by the collar of his shirt, pull him across the worktop and kiss him until you can't breathe. Touch him until the countertop is used for something other than cooking, but this morning you convinced yourself that this friendship is the right and, above all, the only way this can work. And that you wouldn't do anything to sabotage this friendship.
"How about we use this time wisely then, huh?" You reach for Pascale's coffee cup and rinse it. 
"Do you have an idea?" He raises an eyebrow and has to stifle a smile when he sees your grin. "Of course you have one. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked like that. Fire away."
"So," you start and put the cup back in its place in the cupboard. "We've finally spoken and we've agreed to stay in this apartment together."
"As friends," the Monegasque confirms the thought you just had, even if you don't understand why he has to say it out loud. 
Your eyes dart towards the hallway, knowing that the white piano with the red roses is just a few meters away. "What do you say we go out today and buy some new things for the apartment?" you suggest. "Then I could get things for my room and maybe something else to make it feel a bit more like home."
"You mean to make it feel like it's your apartment too?" Charles leans back in his chair a little and runs his hand through his hair. 
"Only if that's okay with you. After all, it's your apartment and I could understand if you wanted to leave everything as it is at the moment and -" you babble nervously without thinking about what you're saying. You look at him worriedly and try to read his face to see if you might have crossed a line. 
"That's actually a good idea," Charles finally replies, smiling at you. "But are you ready for it?"
"For what?" you ask, confused, leaning against the countertop, which - unfortunately - is only used for cooking.
Charles shrugs his shoulders. "For being seen outside. With me." He looks at you like a kicked puppy that's been abandoned on the street in the middle of the night.
"I told you I have no problem with that," you assure him and walk around the kitchen counter to sit next to him. You reach for his hand and intertwine your fingers. "We're friends, Charles. We know we're friends. And I don't care what anyone else thinks they know about us." You tilt your head a little to one side. "Our friendship is real - and that's why we're going right out there to buy some new stuff for the apartment."
His smile almost makes your heart stop. "For our apartment," he corrects you, his green eyes twinkling.
"Our apartment," you repeat softly. 
"Okay." He lowers his gaze to your hands, and the way his fingers wrap around yours makes it feel like they're perfect for each other. The two of you spending time together shouldn't make you this happy. "But we'll only go on one condition."
"What's that?" 
"We're not going alone. We're taking Pierre and Kika with us so that it doesn't look like we're shopping for furniture for our apartment as a couple in love." The fact that he doesn't want to go out alone with you feels like a punch in the gut. When he notices the hurt look on your face, he squeezes your fingers gently twice. "It's just to protect you, Y/N."
The fact that he doesn't trust you to do this hits you harder than it should. How many times do you have to tell him you're ready? That the opinions of others don't matter to you as long as you have Charles by your side? Does he really think you're that weak?
"I don't need to be protected," you reply sharply and take your hand away from him. 
"You don't know what you're getting yourself into," he tries to reassure you, but the fact that he's talking down your feelings doesn't make things any better. 
"Maybe not," you say annoyed and get up from your chair. "But there will come a point when we're on our own. And then everyone's going to be talking shit about us, I get it. And I get that it's going to be bad." You don't care that you're acting like a defiant child. The fact that Charles doesn't want to be seen alone with you hurts more than you would ever admit. "So why not today?"
The young man in front of you looks away from you with a crestfallen expression before also rising from his chair. When he reaches for your hand again, you allow it. "I want you to be able to turn away from me if it gets too much for you. I want you to have the chance to live a normal life if you do decide against me." His other hand rests against your cheek and you snuggle up to him as if it were a reflex. "I don't want you to regret meeting me."
The fact that he thinks you could ever regret befriending him stabs straight through your heart. He wants to protect you from something you both have no control over, and although you'd like to stroll through Monaco holding hands with him, you can understand him.
He is trying to protect both you and himself. And you can understand that all too well. 
"All right," you give in and smile gently at him. "Then ask them if they're free and up for it today. It could be fun."
Charles lets go of you and the warmth that had been flowing through your body immediately disappears. While he talks to Pierre on the phone, you go back to your room to get changed and think about what would look good in your room. 
Different curtains wouldn't go amiss, and some candles and a small mirror would look good on the white chest of drawers opposite the bed. You might also find some new bedding that -
"Y/N?" Charles' voice echoes through the apartment. You find him in the doorway of the master bedroom, where he glances over his shoulder in your direction. "Pierre and Kika are about to head out, then we'll leave together." 
"Okay," you reply, glancing past him into the room. There are a few things lying around that are definitely not his, and the decor doesn't suit him very well either. "So this is your room?" 
"Uh-huh." He wrinkles his mouth a little. 
"What's wrong with it? Apart from the obvious, of course."
He crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Everything. I don't see anything in it that I wouldn't change."
You'd be only too happy to set the whole room on fire if it would certainly help him. Just like the roses that have burned themselves into your memory. You nudge him with your elbow. "Then we've got a lot planned for today." You look at each other and when he reaches for your hand, you have to smile. "You don't have to go through this alone, Charles. We can do this as long as we're together."
His gaze flickers briefly from your eyes to your lips. "Together," he says softly in return, leaning down a little towards you so that you have to tilt your head back to look at him. His warm breath caresses your face as his free hand finds its place on his hip again to pull you against him. You feel his hard body against yours, his heartbeat under your fingertips as you place your hand on his chest. You feel his warmth as his nose bumps against yours, his hip against your stomach as he presses you against him. You feel his -
"Are you ready?" Pierre's voice comes out of nowhere as he and Kika walk through the front door. Thank God the bedroom is further back so they can't see you. 
Instead of letting you go, Charles presses you tighter against him so that you can feel him everywhere. "I think we need a new door lock," he breathes, leaning his forehead against yours. "Then no more uninvited guests can come in when we're together." 
When he finally breaks away from you, you have to take a deep breath. Although you've decided that you don't feel anything for him apart from friendship, he triggers something in you that no one before him has ever managed to do. 
You desire him. From the top of your head to the soles of your feet, you crave him, his touch, his skin on yours. And his words echo in your thoughts, making you dizzy. 
Together. Together. Together. 
You rub your face once and look after Charles, who briefly disappears in the direction of the living room, the opposite direction from your friends.
What you can't see, however, is him shoving his hand into his pants to control his raging boner, which is pressing almost painfully against the seams of his boxers. How is he supposed to put up with that when you live together?
Together. Together. Together.
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williamssgirl · 1 month
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❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)
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you can read part one here!
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.
warnings: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.
wc: 2.9k
a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy! dt: @satellitespinner
don't buy tlou | free palestine
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(1:02am) ellie
please let me explain
(1:06am) ellie
cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while
(1:07am) ellie
i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.
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(1:09am) you
guess who texted again
(1:09am) olive
no way
r u gonna reply?
(1:10am) you
absolutely not
i made a fool of myself
(1:11am) olive
maybe and JUST MAYBE
reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back
(1:12am) you
what the fuck olive
do you want me to die? genuine question
(1:12am) olive
LISTEN
it might help
plus she seems genuinely apologetic
why is she even apologising?
(1:14am) you
for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?
(1:14am) olive
because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?
(1:15am) you
😐 bye
(1:15am) olive
just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out
okay?
(1:16am) you
i'll think about it
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(2:03am) you
11:30, you get two minutes
(2:03am) ellie
thank you so much
(2:03am) ellie
i'll be there
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nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.
you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.
but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).
but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.
a plan to win you back.
she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.
so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.
then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.
useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.
her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.
you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.
words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through. 
“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.
you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense. 
“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles. 
“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you? 
tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again? 
“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face. 
instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her. 
ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once. 
you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite. 
ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return. 
“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth. 
instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth 
“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting. 
“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest. 
“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that. 
“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys. 
“but you-” 
“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything. 
it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she. 
gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content. 
“ellie…” you needily whisper. 
“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”
“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet. 
you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer 
“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun. 
“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!” 
“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water. 
silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down. 
she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her. 
“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.
with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck. 
the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough. 
discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee. 
“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit. 
from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point. 
ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit. 
“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you. 
“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”
you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you. 
“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more. 
she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.
quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel. 
“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.
she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again. 
lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it. 
“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements. 
gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours. 
“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body. 
you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you. 
“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own. 
“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it. 
“we’re okay?” she asks 
“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier 
“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out. 
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people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart
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itsthewritergal · 2 months
Text
Just let me go - Bucky Barnes x reader
Okay this one is ANGSTTYYY Also there will be a part two! Posted tomorrow :)
TW: kidnapping, swearing, suicidal thoughts, guns, angst, sadness, suicidal ideation, also I haven't proof read this aha I'm sorry!!
“Sergeant Barnes, there is someone here to see you” One of the agent said as they stepped into the training room, 
“Who?” Bucky replied curtly, being halfway through a session with Nat he didn’t exactly want to be interrupted no matter who it was 
“I don’t know but she looks upset, if I was you I’d be worried” the agent said with a laugh, making a few of the other trainee’s laugh 
“Don’t forget your rank” Bucky said bluntly, 
“Sorry Sargent Barnes” The agent said, 
“You can start sparring, I’ll be back soon and I expect to see some improvements from yesterday” Nat said following Bucky out the room, 
“Who do you think it is?” Nat asked 
“I don’t know” Bucky said 
“What about that girl you went out with the other night?” 
“I don’t think she’d come here” Bucky said with a huff, “she didn’t like me” he said 
“Ooh what about the girl from Tony’s party?” Nat suggested, it sounded as though the idea of Bucky having a girl round was entertaining to her, Bucky narrowed his eyes at Nat, 
“No” He said bluntly, 
“Tensions killing me” Nat said with a dry laugh 
“Come on Nat, leave it alone” he said, turning the corner to the common room, he stopped immediately his breath hitching in his throat for a split second, 
“Y/N?” Nat beamed running over to give her a hug almost knocking her off of her feet “It’s been like a year since I saw you!” She grinned, 
“Hey Nat” She said gently, 
“You have to stay for dinner, Wanda’s cooking, she’ll want to see you. So will Steve, and Tony, oh and Sam!” She said “I’ll text them all now, they’ll set up a place for you” 
“Nat, I don’t think—” Y/N started 
“I don’t want to hear it, you’re staying” She said pulling out her phone and quickly tapping a message, 
“Y/N” Bucky said bluntly, his voice void of all emotions. 
“Hey” Y/N cut herself off unsure of what to call him so deciding against calling him anything,  her eyes wandered to his arm,  “the black and gold suits you” She said softly “Always said silver wasn’t your colour” 
“Shuri agreed with you” Bucky nodded
An uncomfortable silence settled across the two of them, 
“I should go” She said quickly, 
“Why did you come?” He asked a part of him not wanting her to disappear, not again 
“I, uh I found, I found this”  Y/N said her cheeks flushing red as she passed Bucky a t-shirt, one that he had forgotten about, but it certainly looked more worn now than how he remembered it. His heart squeezed at the thought of her wearing it after everything
“This is why you came?” Bucky said 
“You’re right, it was stupid. I’m gonna go” Y/N said quickly,  shaking her head as she turned, Bucky knew how she felt. He had imaged many times making an excuse to go and see her, he just didn’t think she was the kind of person to go through with it. 
“Y/N! Oh my, Nat said you were here. I’ve just laid the table dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes which is just long enough for you to catch me up on your life! Sorry Buck, but she’s with me until dinner. Then you can have her back” Wanda said not offering Bucky or Y/N a second option. 
----
“So Y/N where have you been?” Tony asked as they all sat down at the table “it’s like you dropped off the face of the earth
“Just around,” She said quietly 
“I came by your apartment, but it was empty” Tony said, 
“I had to move out” 
“You moved out?” Nat said “How come?” She said worry filling her voice 
“Life happens” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Bucky’s eyes fell on her face, watching how her eyes studied her plate not daring to look up 
“Well things always find a way of getting better” Wanda said squeezing Y/N’s hand on the top of the table 
“How about you guys, I’ve seen good things on the news” Y/N said softly 
“We’re okay” Steve said, 
“I”m pleased,” Y/N said with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes, 
“What’s your new apartment like?” Wanda asked, 
“It’s nice” Y/N said gently , 
“You should give me the address,” Tony said commandingly 
“I’ll send it over to you, I still don’t quite know it off by heart” She said, it was a lie. Bucky knew it was a lie, even if he couldn’t hear her heartbeat pick up, he would be able to tell from the way she couldn’t look at anyone in their eye. 
“What part of town is it?” Steve pressed, 
“I really appreciate you guys having me for dinner but I’m going to head home” She said quickly, “I’ll see you guys around” She said picking up her coat, 
“I'm sorry if I said something wrong” Steve apologised quickly, he should’ve known better than to press her, Bucky thought
“You don’t need to” Tony said trying to savour the dinner 
“Why don’t you stay for a movie?” Wanda suggested, 
“I need to go” She said standing up and quickly hurrying out of the room 
A gentle silence fell across the room, “I shouldn’t have asked her” Steve said 
“It’s not on you” Wanda said “I don’t think that anyone could have convinced her to open up to us” 
“I’ll find her address and go over tomorrow, it’ll be easier without anyone else there” Tony said fiercely, 
“She won’t talk to you” Bucky said 
“And she’ll talk to you?” Tony snapped “You’re the reason we are in this mess in the first place. She is my friend and I will do what I think is right” 
“What even happened when you broke up?” Wanda asked 
“ Nothing” Bucky said 
“Don’t lie” Tony snapped 
“What the hell did you do? I thought you two were fine” Nat asked 
“You told us all you two were fine after the breakup” Wanda said 
“Leave him alone” Steve said sternly 
Bucky sighed softly “She just came to drop off a shirt” 
“Nobody drops off a shirt after a year” Tony said “She wanted to see you and you couldn’t even give her the time of day” He snapped 
“She’ll be okay, I’ll come with you tomorrow, we can check in on her” Wanda said 
Bucky didn’t dare to say anything, he just nodded gently. It was a thank you, all be it a silent one, but a thank you none the less. 
----
“Tony, you need to see this” Wanda said as an alert popped up on the screen alerting Tony to a new message, they had been in Tony's lab for a few hours scouting out Y/N's new apartment.
“Have you seen where she is living?” Tony said scanning through the photos that FRIDAY had brought up on his screen “it’s worse than I thought”  
“Tony now” Wanda said fiercely,
“What is it?” Tony asked, turning around, his face dropping when he saw the screen. “Is that?” 
“Y/N” Wanda finished
“Who sent this” Tony asked 
“I don’t know, it’s anonymous. I can’t trace the signal either” 
“FRIDAY, call the team and get them into the conference room now” 
“Yes Mr Stark” FRIDAY answered 
“We can’t tell Bucky” Wanda said, 
“We can and we will because he is going to help us” 
“That’s a bad idea” Wanda said 
“He once was one the best assassins, no debate. As much as I don’t like the tinman, he can and will help us” Tony said leaving little room for debate. 
“Tony what the hell? We’re meant to have the week off of missions” Nat said, sitting down in a chair with a mug of coffee nursed in her hands
“This is different” Tony said, 
“How so?” Steve asked 
“This is personal” Tony said sternly, 
“It’s Y/N” Wanda whispered, 
“What happened to her?” Bucky asked 
“I was sent this video” Tony said
 “We thought it was best we watched it together” Wanda added 
“FRIDAY, play the video please”
The screen went dark for a moment and then lit up with a picture of Y/N locked in a room, Bucky felt a strange wave of familiarity wash over him 
“Tell your friends what we want” A voice spoke, it sent chills down Bucky’s spine, he put her in this position. He had done everything to keep her safe, after all these years, this was his fault. 
“They won’t come” Y/N’s voice was strangely calm 
“Don’t be difficult girl, tell them what we want” The voice spoke again 
“You want the soldier, you want someone who’s gone. But here’s the catch. Even if he wasn’t gone, even if the solider still existed he wouldn’t come. Not for me.” She said 
“We’ve done our research” The voice mused, there was a hint of amusement in it’s voice, as though it had caught Y/N out, 
“Your research is wrong. I haven’t spoken to Bucky in a year, he does’t care” Y/N snapped, a gunshot sounded through the conference room, making them jump 
“Turn it off” Bucky’s voice was quiet but cut through the entire room 
“Shooting blanks at me won’t work” Y/N snapped “If you’re going to kill me then kill me”
“Turn it off” Bucky said once more 
“We want the soldat” The voice behind the camera spoke 
“Then you’ll have to find someone who he cares about, because it  isn’t me” She snapped 
“You have six hours or she dies” 
The camera turned off and the room went dark. All eyes turned to Bucky, 
“When was this sent?” He said 
“Barely ten minutes ago” Wanda answered softly, 
“Let’s start at her apartment” Steve said firmly “Wanda, Clint you’re with me, Tony, Nat you should try and find something from the video, there might be an idea of where they’re keeping her.” 
“I need to go as well” Bucky said 
“No” Wanda said “You need to stay away from this” 
“I spent years tracking people down, I think I’m the best chance we have to finding Y/N” He said challenging anyone to speak out against him
“I’ll go as support” Sam said patting Bucky’s back comfortingly. 
“We need to go, now” Steve said 
----
Steve’s skin crawled at the sight of Y/N’s apartment.  He hesitated before pushing the door open, it creaked and echoed through the tiny studio. Clothes were thrown across the room, plates were stacked up by the sink, two blankets were half heartedly thrown across the bed, no sign of a duvet or pillow. Bucky had to tear his eyes away from her apartment for a minute to regain his composure. 
“I can’t believe she was staying here” Wanda said stepping into it
“It was a means to an end” Steve said, 
“I should have helped her” Wanda sighed softly, her eyes falling on the pile of clothes in the corner of the room,  
“We didn’t know” Clint said
“We should have” Wanda snapped “Look at how she was living, we should have been able to help” 
“She was always good at surviving” Steve said firmly 
“She shouldn’t have had to be, we are her friends and the moment her and Bucky split we left her” Wanda said, tears building in her eyes 
“They must have taken her here, look at the mess” Steve said changing the subject quickly,
“No” Bucky said softly “This is Y/N” Bucky said with a sigh
“What do you mean?” Clint asked “this is normal?” 
“When she got busy, she used to get messy, never put things away. Found it hard to do anything” Bucky said swallowing tightly  “We argued about it” He admitted 
“So did they take her here, or not?” Sam asked 
“Not here, this is normal for her. It didn’t happen here” Bucky said firmly
“Ok so that’s something” Sam said, attempting at a loose sense of positivity
“It must’ve happened by the compound” Wanda said “think about it, if they wanted Bucky then surely they’d be keeping tabs on him. When she left last night they must have taken the next best thing to get to him” She said 
“We need to look at security cameras”  Clint suggested 
“Who wants Bucky though?” Sam said, “I think we’re focussing too much on Y/N, rather than on what they want” 
“Hydra” Steve said through pursed lips 
“It can’t be” Wanda said 
“It has to be” Clint confirmed “It makes the most sense” 
“So who are we looking at? Zemo?” Sam asked 
“Maybe” Steve said “Doesn’t feel right though”, Steve’s thought was cut short by his phone ringing 
“Steve, I’ve got an address” Tony said, “suit up”
----
Bucky couldn’t stop shaking, he’d been on tougher missions, he’d been in tougher briefings, he had almost died more times than he could count. But this felt like the worst day of his life, 
“We’ve been sent an address,” Tony said 
“It’s a trap” Nat said 
“We don’t know that” Steve suggested, “Who sent it to you?” 
“It came with a video, it was from the same people as before” 
“What’s the video?” Sam asked, noticing the tension that had fallen across the room, 
Tony instructed FRIDAY to play the video, Y/N’s face was brought up on the screen, 
“Y/N tell them what you just told me” The voice spoke 
“No” She spat through gritted teeth, her hair was matted with blood which dripped slowly from a wound on her hair line, her face was bruised and Bucky was silently pleased he could only see to the base on her neck, anymore and he was sure he would throw up. The skin he had once pressed kisses to so gently was purple and blotted with blood. 
“Our captive here has a death wish” The voice said again, “She had her little suicide letters in her pocket when we caught her” it sneered 
“Shut the hell up” Y/N snapped, there was something in her eyes that scared Bucky, she looked so void of the love that she had once been filled with 
“She was on the top of a building when we found her, she’s only got 3 hours left avengers. Are you going to give in to her wishes?” 
“Just kill me” She whispered 
“What was that?” The voice asked, it was mocking her, teasing her, it was a sight that Bucky couldn’t stand 
“Kill me!” She shouted, her voice sent chills down each of the spines of her old friends “Just kill me” She said settling into a bought of sobs, 
The video stopped and cut to a map with a pin placed directly in it. 
“We need to go” Steve said “We leave in 5” 
----
The quinjet landed softly and Bucky could feel a knot growing in his stomach, he had been on enough rescue missions to know the ways that this could go. It was an old hydra base, one that Bucky was sure should’ve been emptied years ago. But here it stood, admittedly it was partly falling down but the cells were deep underground and the structures were built to last. He knew that much well enough, if he strained his ears he would swear that he could hear Y/N’s cries, but he convinced himself it was all in his head. 
“She’s going to be okay” Steve said 
“I can’t loose her Steve” Bucky admitted “I’ve lost her once, I can’t watch her die” 
“Then don’t let her” Steve said 
Bucky followed behind the rest of the team, Wanda stood beside him, 
“Do you want me to take the fear away?” She asked under her breath, knowing nobody else would be able to hear her 
“No, I need it” Bucky said, he didn’t explain anything else but Wanda nodded, 
“Let’s go get Y/N home” Wanda said
Bucky followed Tony’s lead, any other mission he would have tried to take the lead off of Tony but he couldn’t for this. Y/N needed Tony’s planning, Y/N’s life couldn’t be in Bucky’s hands. He would never forgive himself if anything happened. They descended into the base, it was too quiet for Bucky’s liking. Hydra would never have kept it this quiet, something was wrong. 
“Welcome home soldat” the words echoed through the halls, 
“They know we are here” Steve muttered, 
“She’s down here” Tony said, taking another set of steps downwards, Bucky could hear her shallow breaths getting louder slowly with each step he took. 
“Y/N?” Steve called out, 
“I told you to fucking kill me” Y/N screamed,  Tony immediately picked up the pace to a run following the sound of her voice.  Their footsteps echoed through the concrete walls, as they came across a long hallway filled with cells made of glass. Bucky’s skin crawled at the sight. This was what he wanted to protect Y/N from, she shouldn’t see this.  
“KIll me” Her voice rang through the cells, 
“Soldat” Bucky turned to find the voice behind him. “Do the honours?” The man said, he was older than Bucky thought he would be. 
“We’re surrounded” Steve said, 
“There’s no getting out of this” The man sneered, 
“That’s kind of where you are wrong” Tony said smartly, “You really think there’s only four of us?” He laughed 
“What?” 
“The rest of our team have cleared out your base, and they’re on their way” He said with a smirk “Also not only have we got two super soldiers, we’ve also got a freaky witch and me, ironman, you might of heard of me” 
“Ironman, you forget. You have an unstable winter soldier on your team, All I have to do is say a few words and he’s under my control right?” 
“Doesn’t work anymore” Bucky snapped 
“I’m bored” Nat said sneaking up from behind, with a wicked grin she pulled the trigger and the body fell to the ground with a thud. Instantly Bucky turned and shot the guard who was keeping him surrounded “God why are all the people we go against so boring” Nat said with a huff, once they had dealt with the guards. 
“Let’s just get Y/N” Tony said letting out a breath. 
Wanda took a step away from the group into a nearby cell, it was as though she felt her. 
“Guys she’s here” Wanda called, 
Bucky took a deep breath and turned the corner, Y/N sat slumped on a chair, out of breath and covered in bruises and dried blood. 
“Please” She whimpered 
“We’re going to get you out of here” Wanda said slowly untying her gently 
“Please no” She cried 
“You’re safe” Steve said kneeling at her side 
“No Please, let me go��� She said 
“We’re letting you go, you’re going to be ok” 
“No, please” She sobbed again “You have to let me die” She cried as Wanda pulled the ties away from her 
“Y/N, we can’t do that” Steve said, 
“You’re going to be okay” Tony promised
“Just let me go please?” 
PART TWO
961 notes · View notes
trblsvt · 1 year
Text
for the books | jeon wonwoo
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summary | wonwoo's students seemed intent on matching him up with a fellow teacher. he didn't really want to stop them, it was too funny for him to break up their fun. plus, he didn't mind the certain someone he was being "set up" with. genre | fluff, teacher!au warnings | none, i think let me know! word count | 2.2k words pairing | jeon wonwoo x fem!reader min | lowercase intended i literally put off my other works to write this! delulu era to the max! i advocate for women in stem!!! also! this is like an american high school-level setting. lily is so out of pocket LOL (believe it or not there is a girl just like her at my school). this was 100% self-indulgent
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"mr. jeon!" his student lily called. "so you're telling me that after all that, she still hasn't kissed him?" he looked up from his desk and looked over to his obviously distraught student. "lily! i didn't even finish it yet!" her friend mina yelled at her.
"i'm sorry! it's just so crazy how they didn't even kiss! even after they made up and he said all of that to her!" lily huffed.
"what did he say to her? i haven't gotten there yet either," daniel piped in.
"just read it! i'm sorry i brought it up in the first place," lily sighed and pulled out the worksheets she was supposed to complete after reading the book. he shook his head and went back to inputting grades into his computer. it was silly to think lily was just going to do her work. "mr. jeon, do you have a girlfriend?" she asked putting her pencil down. he paused momentarily, fingers hovering over the keyboard. "dude, that's so not cool for you to ask mr. jeon," daniel complained.
"what? we're reading this romantic novel, is it not fair to ask our english teacher if he's in a relationship?" lily replied, crossing her arms. "i mean we have to be reading this book for some reason."
"maybe it's just a part of the curriculum," mina rolled her eyes.
"do you seriously think mr. jeon is sending us subminimal signals about his love life through the books we're reading?" daniel asked.
"i don't know! maybe!" lily said. the three of them continued to argue back and forth at their table. wonwoo should probably stop this before the other students get irritated with the trio. "guys, i can assure you, i am not sending any messages about my love life. please get back to your work," wonwoo cleared his throat. he heard a disappointed noise, but pencils went back to scratching and pages started flipping again. soon it was the end of the class period and everyone was packing up. it was just lily. "next time, please refrain from asking personal questions in class," he asked.
"yes, of course. i'm sorry mr. jeon," lily bowed her head.
"it's alright. it can just be a bit distracting for your classmates. let's try to be more considerate."
"will do," she said, turning on her heel.
"oh and lily, just between me and you," wonwoo paused. "i don't have a girlfriend."
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"he said he wasn't in a relationship!" lily cheered. daniel stared at her baffled, "didn't he say not to tell anyone?"
"yeah, but i mean, he must know that i'm going to tell you guys. you guys don't seem as nearly as excited about this as i do."
"why would we be? he's single, it's not like you have a chance with him or something," mina commented.
"no! ew! i would never try to go after a teacher, are you crazy? i'm saying that this is a perfect opportunity for us to get mr. jeon a date!" lily practically squealed.
"a date? with who?"
"with miss ___, of course! who else? haven't you guys ever noticed that they spend almost every lunch period with each other? they're so cute together!"
"maybe they're just planning classes or something," daniel shrugged.
"um, hello? mr. jeon teachers english literature and miss ___ teaches physics b. what would they planning together?"
"touché."
"i think it's time to enact a master plan."
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"so everyone understands this equation, right?" you said, turning back to face the class. "tell me now, so i can help. this equation is the very foundation to magnetism, if you don't get it now i can't promise you'll do well in this unit."
no one put their hand up. you smiled, "oh well, i guess we just have a bunch of physic masters in this class. but seriously, let me know if you need help. you can start working on your homework packet now, this way if you have questions you can ask them now. i don't need your frantic emails at midnight."
you returned to your desk and flipped through some lesson plans. you didn't get to finish eating lunch today, so you took out your lunch bag. a small slip of paper fell out of it and onto the ground. you smiled to yourself and reached down to pick it up. "miss ___!" your student lily said, she was standing at the foot of your desk.
"yes, lily?" you answered.
"i have a question about something."
"have at it."
"it isn't physics related though." you looked up, slipping the slip into your pocket. "then, what's it about? do you need to go to the nurse?" you frowned.
"no it's nothing like that, but i was told by another teacher not to ask questions like this in front of the whole class. he said it was inconsiderate," she shrugged.
"oh, um, well i guess you can go ahead."
"are you friends with mr. jeon?"
you froze. mr. jeon? as in english literature teacher mr. jeon? mr. jeon you eat lunch with him every day mr. jeon? maybe they started picking up on something. "well, yeah, i guess you could say that," you coughed. "why are you asking this all a sudden?"
"well, i came by mr. jeon's class before lunch to ask him about an assignment and i saw you there. i didn't want to interrupt, but i didn't know you guys were friends," she shrugged, averting her eyes.
"oh well, yes. mr. jeon started at his position around the same time i did a few years ago. so we got close because of that."
"that's so- i mean, i'm sorry to pry. i was just curious. i mean usually i don't see english teachers and physics teachers talk that much. thanks!"
the whole exchange left you a little baffled.
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lily seemed determined to get you and wonwoo together. she began to pry more often and she was getting bolder one question at a time. she even asked if you were in a relationship and if you got you cute gifts for birthdays and holidays from your boyfriend. sometimes she got very bold and mentioned mr. jeon by name. "miss ___, don't you think mr. jeon is cute? you two would be so cute together." you had replied, "i don't think this is time or the place to talk about this, lily. please do your practice problems." you rolled your eyes, "i don't feel like i'm at liberty to answer that."
you couldn't bring yourself to actually discipline her or her friends (who had seemingly joined in on the deep dive about your love life). they were curious teenagers looking for gossip. hell, you were like that too. you felt it would be unfair to punish them for that, as long as it didn't get too inappropriate, you didn't mind. it was a bit endearing too.
you just had to push the thought out of your mind. it was time to go to lunch anyway. it was the perfect time to clear your head.
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"has lily been asking you some personal questions lately?" wonwoo asked, leaning back in his chair. god, he looked so handsome today. his glasses, pressed shirt, and ironed pants. "yes, has she been causing a raucous here too?" you asked, taking a seat at one of the desks.
"well, she asked me if i think you're beautiful," he chuckled.
you paused. you would be lying if you said you didn't feel anything for the man sitting in front of you. he was smart and kind.
"of course, i told her you are a lovely human being inside and out, and to get back to doing her project."
"funny, she was telling me that she and her friends thought we'd make a cute couple." he laughed at that, and it made your chest flutter. you loved his laugh. "cute couple, that's so cute," he gasped.
"yeah i know right. who knew our students would start trying to set us up," you joked. he nodded in agreement getting up after his microwave went off from the other side of the room. "it would be so funny if they actually succeeded, but it does seem a bit pointless at this point, right?" he noted.
"yeah, totally pointless," you agreed.
you and wonwoo, being set up, by your students of all people. it sure would be for the books if it happened like that.
what an absurd idea.
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the rest of the week went as usual, uneventful, but you did get to see wonwoo on the way out of the building and into the parking lot. he held his leather bag in his right hand. "on the way out today?" he asked. "don't you usually do tutoring sessions after school on fridays?"
"we just started a unit, and no one showed up after the fifteen-minute window. i'm out of here," you laughed. he smiled. you loved it when he smiled. "want to walk out together then?" he offered and pushed the door open for you. something about him was so calming and comforting. you smiled and averted your gaze to the floor. even after all these years, he made you a little nervous. you did miss the way he grinned when he caught your shy smile. he loved the way you smiled too. he couldn't wait to see it again, he needed to see it again as soon as possible. he was too lost in thought about the way you smile and the way your voice sounds, that he fell far behind you. "___, wait up," he called as you made your way through the faculty parking lot. he jogged to catch up to you and reached out to grab your hand.
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"i swear i saw him kiss her out in the parking lot," daniel insisted. "they were holding hands too!" at this point, lily was totally unmotivated to get her two favorite teachers together. not after miss ___ shut her down on numerous occasions and mr. jeon was just as friendly but unbothered as ever giving his most PG answers. "whatever, daniel," lily huffed. "they would be so perfect together."
"he's literally telling you that they're together, he saw them kissing!" mina exclaimed. lily rolled her eyes. they were all hallucinating just to make themselves feel better that it was wishful thinking. "true love isn't real!" she cried.
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"it's time to wake up, sweetheart," he mumbled. "you said you had lots of work to do today."
"yeah, well it's my day off too. i'll get to work later," his fiancé groaned.
"oh come on, i know you're desperate to do all that paperwork," he teased. he tugged on the warm body text to him to pull it closer to him. he loved waking up with his wonderful, beautiful, smart fiancé next to him.
he loved waking up next to you.
he knew the kids were asking about him and his love life. kids would be kids of course. "lily won't stop asking about my love life. it's funny since we both teach her," he said.
"i guess, she's never noticed the necklace with the ring hanging around my neck," you chuckled, nuzzling your face into wonwoo's neck. his arms easily wrapped around your body. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "you know, lily asked me if i had a girlfriend the other week," wonwoo murmured.
"she asked me if i had a boyfriend too," you hummed. "i just told her that it wasn't appropriate to ask that in class."
"i said something similar, but i did tell her i didn't have a girlfriend."
you paused. why would he say that? he was very obviously in a relationship, well obvious to the two of you. he even gave you a ring and a nice dinner to cement your relationship. "i obviously couldn't tell that i didn't have a girlfriend because i have a wonderful, smart fiancé," he laughed. you breathed an internal sigh of relief, but you still hit him in the chest. "that's so stupid," you groaned. "you're catching everyone on a technicality." he thought he was so clever and funny, ever the wordsmith.
"it's so hard not telling the students," wonwoo whispered, and you nodded your head in agreement. he didn't know why the two of you didn't tell the students yet, but the relationship started a bit secretively, almost right after the both of you were onboarded. he guessed the two of you never got out of the whole secret relationship. it was a bit exhilarating keeping the secret between you and him, and the admin. he felt like a teenager again. "maybe we should ease them into it, but let's not let them think it was all them," you said.
"maybe it's time for you to start wearing the ring on your finger then," he commented pulling away to get a better look at you. "i can't wait for you to become mrs. jeon," he smiled.
"yuck, so corny," you rolled your eyes with a smile. "you need to stop with these cheesy sayings early in the morning." nevertheless, you leaned forward and kissed him. he kissed back easily, "come on, i know you like the little notes i leave in your lunch."
"i do, now be quiet and just kiss me."
"gladly."
he did have the whole weekend until he had to go back to school. at least you made the day a little better.
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min | im just in a silly goofy mood LOL. my poor attempt at humor and portraying what high schoolers are like. wonwoo being an english teacher just makes sense!!! reblogs and comments are always appreciated! not proofread at the moment (it's 1 in the morning)
tagging: @a-wandering-stay
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solaireverie · 6 months
Text
cl16 | salute to me, i'm your american queen
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pairing: charles leclerc x f!sargeant!reader
summary: [ social media au ] what the fuck is a kilometer?!?! or: charles and his girlfriend's adventures
warnings: language
faceclaim: elle fanning + pinterest
author's note: i can't explain this except that it was funny in my head. i should probably be working on the next part of deep blue but ehhhhhh. enjoy!
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liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant, vogue and 763,913 others
yourusername Overjoyed with becoming an official @.tiffanyandco ambassador 🩵 Shop the Formula 1 Commemorative Grand Prix collection on their website, now available worldwide.
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charles_leclerc so this is why you couldn't come to monza? 😨
↪ yourusername sorry babe it was scheduled in advance 🥲
user damn tiffany's marketing department really popped off with choosing THE y/n sargeant to rep this line 💅
↪ user like if you think about it it's really smart, y/n isn't just one of the most popular models rn, she's also directly connected to the sport bc of logan and charles
↪ user she is literally all i want to be in the best way 😤
logansargeant where's my charger y/n? i know you have it
↪ yourusername this could've been a text message logie boy
↪ logansargeant wtf don't call me that
↪ logansargeant also you haven't unblocked me yet from that time i stole your life-size cardboard cutout of charles and brought it to williams hospitality
↪ yourusername you're not helping your case here 😒
↪ carlossainz55 silvia was looking for that y/n 😱
charles_leclerc has added to their story
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seen by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, pierregasly and 7,159,233 others
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694,332 likes
f1wagupdate @.yourusername is in the paddock today for the US GP after being spotted yesterday in a hotel near the track! She has been seen in the Ferrari garage.
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user uhhh why isn't she in the williams garage???
↪ user uhhh probably cause she's dating a ferrari driver???
↪ user chill 😭 i'm sure she'll drop by
↪ user just say you're a hater and move on bro
charles_leclerc has added to their story
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seen by yourusername, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 2,392,106 others
yourusername has added to their story
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seen by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,985,274 others
logansargeant replied to your story
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liked by logansargeant, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 4,128,293 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc Happy birthday my love 🥳❤️ I'm glad you had fun at your party 😉
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yourusername DELETE THE THIRD PICTURE
yourusername HOW COULD YOU
yourusername WHAT IS THIS BETRAYAL
yourusername count your days, charles leclerc
↪ logansargeant she just left the restaurant, i think you need to take her threats seriously dude
user charles is just like all the other sassy boyfriends out there 😂
user damn the road's looking real comfy tonight (i want what they have)
↪ yourusername oh dear don't do anything rash please 😭
↪ user this is why i love y/n lmao even when she's pissed at her bf she finds time to be the nicest human being ever
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liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant, yourbestfriend and 6,129,320 others
yourusername just a bit older 🤟
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gigihadid happy birthday darling 🥰
↪ yourusername thank you gigi!
logansargeant happy bday sis :)
↪ yourusername AWWWW LOGAN 🥹
user is charles still alive??? 😭😭😭
↪ yourusername who knows? 🤷‍♀️
↪ charles_leclerc i already said i'm sorry!!!
↪ yourusername do y'all hear something?
↪ charles_leclerc we're literally on instagram y/n... 😐
carlossainz55 y/n, charles says that he'll do anything if you'll talk to him again...
↪ yourusername he knows what i want 😪
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liked by yourusername, logansargeant, lilymhe, deuxmoi and 9,120,163 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc Thank you for making my life so much better just by existing in it. I love you more than words can express. At the end of the day, you're who I want by my side. I'm so glad that I'll get to call you my wife for the rest of my life 🤍
💍 11.11.23
comments on this post have been limited
yourusername je t'aime 🤍
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likes and reblogs are appreciated!
masterlist | taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora
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personasintro · 7 months
Text
Mutual Help | #01
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.4k+
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𝐚/𝐧: this bombass comeback wouldn't be as amazing and special if it weren't for @kithtaehyung who made the best new mh banner anyone could ever make!!! ryen, thank you bub so much for putting up with my indecisive ass and taking the time to make not only this banner but different versions before that! I truly appreciate it and I'm thankful you're a part of this!!
ogs know this one is reposted but I hope everyone will enjoy it whether they're rereading it or reading for the first time! lastly, thank you for the endless love and support, i love y'all ♡
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𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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The hallway looks exactly the same, which there isn't any reason why it should look different all of a sudden, but considering you haven't been in this building for the past few weeks just makes you want to notice the slightest change. But there is none. It still smells sterile with a little bit of sweetness which reminds you of cinnamon. You're not sure why, nor do you really dwell on it too much.
You could imagine your Thursday evening differently, which means laying down as soon as you come home and turn on Netflix, trying to spend at least twenty minutes finding a good show. That's been your routine for weeks now, but you're not complaining. It feels that void of loneliness in your smart one bedroom apartment.
Although, you can't help but feel nervous when you picture the message you got from Jimin.
'come to Jungkook's, he needs us' 
He never explained anything further, nor replied to the tons of your messages or missed calls. You wouldn't be on the edge, if you've seen or heard from Jungkook. Apart from some occasional messages like 'what's up' or 'what were you doing today?', your communication went downhill. But you don't blame him or yourself for it. You were both busy and probably still are, to even hangout like you always used to.
It bothered you for some time, not hanging out with your best friend like you used to. But you've grown used to that small but painful fact that you don't have to see each other every day. Plus, after some time you've realized, you can still be best friends with someone without having to chat with them 24/7. Gratefulness is how you'd describe your feelings. Grateful that your friendship works, even though you don't get to spend your time with each other that often.
Your knuckles meet the wood of Jungkook's front door in a gentle manner, which is a complete opposite of your inside feelings as you've this weird feeling inside of you. The message Jimin sent you was weird and you haven't heard from anyone since then.
And when the door finally opens, you're glad you're met with Jimin himself as he stares at you with hopeful eyes and a breath of relief that escapes his plush lips. You rush inside, already taking off your shoes and jacket while you confusingly stare at your friend that looks more than relieved to see you.
"What the hell happened? You never texted me back." you tell him, or more like scold him rather than properly greet him.
"Ah, sorry," he cringes, pulling out his phone before he notices the bunch of messages and missed calls from you. "It's just—"
"This is bullshit."
The grumpy and raspy voice unintentionally cuts him off, booming inside of the apartment causing your ears to naturally perk up. Is it just you or his voice got deeper? You look at Jimin with a questioning gaze, who sees the confusion on your features as you hear Jungkook's grumpy and annoyed voice. Rather than explaining something to you, he sighs and with a quick cock of his head towards the living room, you both walk inside.
You're surprised when you see Taehyung there as well, opening a beer can before he pushes it into Jungkook's hands. Surprisingly, the mentioned guy is slouched on his beige couch, wearing one of his baggy shirts and loose sweatpants with his hair looking like he hasn't brushed them for days.
Taehyung's eyes meet yours as soon as you step in, noticing the mess around including two pizza boxes thrown on the floor and empty cans of coke and beer on the coffee table. "Oh, thank god!" Taehyung breathes out the same sigh of relief, causing you to greet him with a confused 'hello'.
Although, you don't wait for any reaction because your best friend finally acknowledges your presence in his home, head lazily turning in your direction as you walk up to him.
"Great," he mutters, almost rolling eyes at the sight of you. "Who called her?" he eyes the two of his best friends, scoffing before he takes a gulp of the beer that Taehyung handed him.
"What kind of reaction is that, asshole?" you react right away, frowning at your best friend that hasn't seen you for weeks and this is his first reaction.
"Don't mind him, please. He's just a little bit drunk right now." Jimin quickly jumps into an action, noticing your fireback and unappreciative tone that's aimed at none other than Jungkook himself.
He rolls his eyes at Jimin words, but doesn't say anything else before Taehyung watches you with cautious doe eyes. He sits in a chair, arm leaned against his knee as he anxiously bites his nails even though he tries to act casual. You don't buy it.
"What the fuck is going on?" you ask them, pointing towards Jungkook that looks like a truck just hit him.
Jimin opens his mouth, but Jungkook glares at him which ends up with him shutting it right away and when you look at Taehyung, he doesn't even spare you a glance.
"Which one of you called her?" Jungkook speaks up, eyeing the two of his friends as they point to each other causing you to snort. Cowards. "I'm fine. I don't see a reason why you make such a big deal out of this. I'm fine."
The fact that he had to repeat the same sentence twice, just proves that no — he's not fine. And before the wheels in your head start to work and roll, Jimin's voice speaks up in a clear, yet quick tempo.
"Kiko broke up with Jungkook."
The room goes silent, faint sounds coming out of the television are filling out the thick silence in the room as Jungkook freezes, not even glaring at his friend that apologetically shrugs at him.
One of the reasons why you haven't got to see your best friend that often is, that he simply found a girlfriend. Trying to combine his work, personal love life and you was already hard. But you get it. You're not mad or annoyed at him, because the two of you still kept in touch. It was just a matter of time until some of you found someone and naturally, there wouldn't be that much time to spend your days together. It was bound to happen and you knew Jungkook would be the first one to find someone.
He's your best friend, but you're not blind. He's one of the most handsome guys you've ever met, not just that but his personality is something that most girls would fall for. His attitude is pissy right now and now, you know the true reason behind it. But the Jungkook you know, is one of the most caring people you know. And not only that, but he's funny, intelligent and perfect at almost everything. He's the whole package and any girl would be lucky to snatch him.
And that girl, or perhaps you should say a woman, happened to be Kiko. A Japanese beauty that their mutual friend introduced them to one another. It clicked off immediately. Even you've noticed it when Jungkook Rain checked almost every plan you had together. He started to stare into his phone with all those puppy heart eyes whenever she texted him. At first, you found it annoying because it was just plain rude, watching him text her every five seconds instead of trying to hang out with you. But then, you just stopped caring and whenever you went silent, he'd just pushed his phone away and tried to gain your attention.
It was stupid, because you knew if you gave him attitude or silent treatment, he would just feel bad and tried to focus on you. Until the both of you stopped hanging out with each other that much.
"She did?" you mutter, staring at Jungkook who stares in front of him with a wiped out gaze. You've never seen him in this kind of state. "I'm sorry, Kook."
"Yeah, well, shit happens." he grumbles, clenching his jaw as he takes another gulp of beer that's securely clenched in his hand.
You've seen Jungkook having a couple of girlfriends, but you know that his relationship with Kiko was different. He wasn't just any girlfriend that he tried to get to know, she was someone that he completely fell for and couldn't stop talking about. He's in love. And even though he's being an ass to his friends right now, it's just his coping mechanism and you know that whatever Jimin and Taehyung has been doing, hasn't helped much. He plays tough right now, hiding his true feelings under this cold and uninterested facade but you know him better.
And when he keeps glancing at you before he quickly looks away, it's almost as if he can hear your exact thoughts.
"Well," you hastily speak, clapping your hands together as you lightly smile at everyone in the room. "You don't wanna date anyone whose name is Kiko." you try to joke, a laugh and snort erupting from Jimin and Taehyung who has obviously found your little joke funny.
Jungkook on the other hand, looks even more pissed off because he never looked at you with so much anger and annoyance as he's looking right now, causing you to squirm in your spot. "Real class, Y/N." he barks at you, causing you to slump in defeat before Jimin squeezes your shoulders in comfort.
"I brought you banana milk. I didn't know what happened, so I thought this would be a nice and quick save." you lightly tell him, sitting at the end of the couch, next to his sprawled legs but he doesn't move them away.
"Jeez, I'm not some fucking kid. Banana milk won't fix my broken heart." he scoffs, shaking his head while the three of you are even surprised that he just admitted that he has a broken heart. Well, clearly but since he's been putting up this tough act, it still comes as a shock. Judging by the look of Jimin's and Taehyung's face, they seem to think the same thing.
"I know that, Kook," you quietly tell him, hastily grabbing one of his ankles as you squeeze it in a manner to comfort him. He doesn't budge, that means something. "Is there anything we can do for you?" you ask him, not really sure if he's even going to answer that.
His brows furrow while he fumbles with his fingers, the slightest pout adoring his small lips as he thinks your question through. The three of you watch him with curious eyes, wondering what the hell is this guy thinking of. He looks at you, then at Jimin and Taehyung before he softly sighs.
"I mean... there's nothing you guys can do." he says softly, taking another gulp of beer that tastes like piss. Korean beer is just not good, and you're surprised that Jungkook even drinks it. But he never had any problem with any alcohol, that man can drink and eat anything.
There's nothing you can think of that could possibly help him out of his heartbreak. The only thing for you to do, is to be there for him. And if drinking a beer that tastes like piss is some kind of twisted way of helping him, you're in. So, you reach out and grab one of the unopened cans before you open it with a loud 'click', taking a gulp of it.
"What are you doing?" Jungkook sits up, staring at your scrunched nose and distaste written all over your face.
"Drinking with you." you shrug, taking another huge gulp of it. The more you drink it, the less it tastes awful.
"But you hate this beer." he reminds you, scowling at you and your nonstop gulping, hand twitching to get it away from you.
"I know," you shrug, grinning at him. "It doesn't taste that bad. Now come on," you nudge him with your leg, raising your can to him. "Cheers." you call out to him, ignoring his big doe eyes that stare at you with a slight confusion before he sighs.
"Cheers." he mutters, clicking his can against yours before the both of you take another gulp.
The two of you are completely unaware of your friends' faces that are washed with relief and knowing eyes as they stare at you and Jungkook. All it took was just to call you to save the day. Jungkook might not be in his greatest mood or show his appreciation for you to be there for him, but drinking without constant complaining and cursing is still a better result that Jimin and Taehyung managed to get.
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"I've never thought I'd ever drink this much of this piss beer." you croak out, putting another empty can onto Jungkook's messy coffee table. You sit back, head falling onto his shoulder as you silently inhale his scent. It always reminded you of his fabric softener that smells like a baby, mixed with his cologne that is very faint on his clothes.
"How do you know what piss tastes like?" Jungkook asks, raising his brow at you while the corner of his lips twitches in amusement. "Do you wanna tell me about your weird kinks?" he cocks his head at you, causing you to groan as you hit his shoulder but it does nothing to him, he doesn't even budge.
A chuckle roars in the back of his throat, a first sound that can be considered as a positive emotion.
"It's not like that." you mutter, growing embarrassed at the thought of Jungkook thinking about your kinks. Not that you know about them that much. You might think there are some things you might like, but you never had anyone to try it with. How possibly could you know? But the idea of you having a piss kink, or whatever that's called, makes you want to gag. Maybe it's the beer or just a single thought of it, who knows.
Jimin and Taehyung already left, once they saw Jungkook loosening up, they took that chance to go home and leave the two of you alone. Not even once he talked about his heartbreak, you silently watched a TV show that Jungkook turned on whilst drinking a beer and munching on some crackers that Taehyung handed you before they left.
Glancing at Jungkook, his face is illuminated from the screen whilst he's watching a TV show with slightly furrowed brows. And when it finally stops, he sighs and grabs the remote to browse through some other movies and TV shows. He keeps browsing through them for a couple of minutes, muttering a pair of curses when he can't find anything he likes. You turn on the lamp in the very corner of his living room, causing him to frown even more from the sudden light.
You sit next to him, staring at him as he sighs and looks back at you. "What?" he asks unbothered, the remote still clutched in his hand.
"I'm sorry, Kook," you tell him silently, reaching for his shoulder which you squeeze in comfort, like you previously did with his ankle. "I know that you loved her."
And you see his facade crack, when he sucks his bottom lip as he quickly looks away from you to blink away the tears that are threatening to fall. You've never seen him this vulnerable.
"Love," he mutters, causing you to let out a confused 'huh?' in response. "Not loved her, but love. I still love her." he corrects you.
"Why did she break up with you? You don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable enough, but you guys seemed so close together."
It doesn't make any sense. Jungkook kept talking about her even through your messages, and you could practically feel the happiness radiating from his single messages. His whole Instagram is filled with their pictures, or just single shots of Kiko that Jungkook has taken and captioned with a single heart emoji. You've never seen him being so in love before. That's when you've realized that Kiko is different from any other women that Jungkook was seeing.
You don't push him into answering, the last thing you want for him is to get upset with you. But you can't keep walking around eggshells for this whole night.
"Apparently, she just wants some time for herself. She wants to explore other things, whatever the fuck that means." he bitterly chuckles, eyes filled with anger but you know it's just hidden hurt.
"Maybe you'll find someone else, Kook. You're still young."
Scoffing, he shakes his head. "She's the love of my life. I really doubt there's someone else for me. I was about to ask her to move in with me."
Shit, he's really serious about her.
"You did?"
He nods, biting onto his lower lip before he lets it go, fumbling his eyes before he sighs in defeat. "I love her." he whispers, his voice sounding so vulnerable that it makes your heart clench.
You go straight into hugging him, enveloping his huge body to yours as he starts to cry into your chest. For the first time, he finally breaks in front of someone else rather than himself. He clutches to your body, tears wetting your shirt but you don't mind it, grabbing him even tighter. He cries, something he doesn't usually do in front of everyone. You realize how he kept holding himself in front of Taehyung and Jimin when all he wanted was to cry it out.
"It's okay, you're going to be okay." you tell him, cheeks pressed against his hair that got super long since you've last seen him.
He sniffles, wiping his eyes before he slightly pulls away. "It happened two weeks ago and I'm still such a fucking mess." he scoffs at himself.
"Two weeks ago?" you exclaim, surprised by the new information. "It happened two weeks ago and I know just... now?"
He glares at you and you quickly shut your mouth. "Not everything is about you, Y/N." he reminds you.
Rolling your eyes, you're about to curse at him for being so rude but then you remember his state. He's just hurt and in a way, he's right. "No, that's not what I meant. I just... I'm surprised that you didn't tell me sooner. If it weren't for Jimin, I don't think I'd be here right now." you explain, thinking about all possibilities that could happen.
"I was going to," he mutters, reaching for a bottle of water instead as he takes a few gulps. "But I needed some time to myself. I didn't want anyone to see me like this." he points out towards his slightly puffed eyes.
You just wished he'd tell you sooner. But you don't tell him that. It's not selfish to think that, because you just wanted to be there for him sooner. Nobody should go through such a heartbreak alone. Not when he has you and other two friends willing to be there for him.
"You know that you can tell me anything, right? I'm always here for you." you remind him, flushed cheeks when you see his eyes already set on you.
The friendship between you and Jungkook is mostly surrounded with you teasing each other and in a way, he's like an older brother to you. You don't get all sentimental with each other, even though you're always there for one another. It's an unspoken rule and natural feeling that your friendship has.
"I know," he says softly, giving you the best little smile he can muster. "And I'm so grateful for that. I know I was acting like an asshole and I'm sorry, I just... I'm really happy that you're here."
You don't get to hear such words often, especially coming out of Jungkook's mouth, but that's why you're even more pleased to hear them.
You smile back at him, silently thanking him and also saying that it's okay and you get it. It's quiet for a moment. Jungkook fumbles with his fingers as you silently watch him, noticing a few new tattoos that decorate his honey skin.
"Y/N?" he asks suddenly, causing you to hum in return. " You know when you asked me, if there's something you could do for me?"
"Oh, boy. What is it this time?" you joke, causing him to silently chuckle under his breath.
What could he possibly want to know? The last time he wanted something from you, was to clean his whole apartment because he twisted his ankle. But whatever that comes out of his mouth next, never occurred to you before.
"Can you pretend to be my girlfriend?"
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© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | don't forget to reblog ♡
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Am I the asshole for lying to my friend I needed a kidney transplant because they didn't read my message carefully?
The title is insane, but there's context here.
I (18F) have a friend (17X, let's call them Cloud) whose reading comprehension is piss poor, to be honest. I wouldn't mind this, but they consistently ask questions about my messages that are answered in the message (for example, I've said "I have Calculus from 2-3 today" and they've responded with "What time do you get out of class?"). This pisses me off, so in an attempt to curb this behavior, when I have something important to say, I've started bolding and italicizing important information in my messages so it's easier for them to see.
I've been having a few pains I won't go into detail about here, and went to urgent care because my mom said it was probably a UTI. It turns out I had a pretty mild kidney infection, and I just needed some antibiotics and would be fine. I missed a few texts from Cloud when I went to urgent care, so I sent this message (the asterisks are to bold and italicize the text):
"Sorry just got back from urgent care i guess i have a kidney infection? ***I'm okay*** though ***i just need to take antibiotics for a week***"
And they replied with "ARE YOUR KIDNEYS OKAY???? DID THEY GIVE YOU MEDICINE OR SOMETHING?"
As you can see in the message above, I already answered both of those questions. I was in pain and bit irked, so I told them "No, they said I'm going to need a transplant," fully expecting they'd realize how ridiculous that was. They did not, and freaked out about it, and I felt pretty bad, so I told them I didn't actually need a transplant and was just messing with them. They got really mad and said it was mean to lie to them about something so important, and haven't talked to me in a few days. I thought that I wasn't really lying, seeing as I told them the truth and they ignored it, but perhaps I should've acted differently.
So, Tumblr, am I the asshole for telling my friend I needed a kidney transplant, when I actually just had a mild kidney infection?
What are these acronyms?
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astrxealis · 2 years
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context on yandere-ish zhongli: my zhongli in game is...very sus 😭😭 like randomly critting/doing more damage after i got itto, his shield always breaking whenever i switch to heizou, being quieter with his idle voicelines after i complained about hearing osmanthus wine too many times, etc. 😭
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IMAGINE IF ZHONGLI ACTUALLY DOES GET A SUMMER SKIN IN THE FUTURE ... he isn't gna forget you w belial (/akihiko) yk T_T ✨
okay fr tho that is vv 👁 interesting HMMHMHMHM ... kinda jealous of him huh >_< 💖
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dwindlinghaze · 1 year
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back at you
(peter parker x reader)
summary: the five times peter stood you up and the one time you did it back.
contents: angst, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending.
  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
i. empire state building
"hi love!" peter waves at you before sitting down on the bench with his arms around you. "i miss you."
"hi pete," you say back, planting a small kiss on his nose.
"are you free tonight?"
"if i purposely forget about my stoichiometry homework then i am," you grin.
he laughs at your joke, "i want to take you on a date on top of the empire state building. we haven't been on a real date lately and i've been a really terrible boyfriend for that reason so i want to fix things up. so- er what do you say?"
"sure, i'll be there," you answered.
"no, i'll pick you up at six and swing you up there," he insists.
"i've never been swinging in a thin sticky line before. i don't know how to feel about this offer," you make a face.
"come on it'll be fun i promise! just hold on to me and i will make sure you're safe."
"alright," you smile at him under the may spring weather.
when evening came, you were picking out outfits to wear to the date. you don't want it to be too much, because you'll be swinging high up in the air. you picked a comfortable outfit, ready to wait for peter to arrive at your door.
but he didn't come.
fifteen minutes have passed and still- no calls or messages.
you began to worry, thinking he's in a spider-man trouble but you believe in him to know that he will escape any inconveniences because he's smart and agile.
an hour has passed. no calls or texts.
you felt disappointed. you were really looking forward into this because peter's life has been replaced with spider-man lately and you've been replaced by new york city.
thirty minutes later, peter called you, saying he was sorry for not making it.
"hey lovely, i'm sorry. i really am. please forgive me, there's a robbery on the subway and it took me quite sometime to beat them all up," he says breathlessly with the sound of the wind.
"oh yeah that's fine," you say, trying to hide your disappointment but he hears right through it. "are you okay?" you ask him.
even with your disappointment, you still asked him how he is after the fight.
"i'm quite alright. i can pick you up right now and we can head to the empire state building right now."
"pete, i have to finish my stoichiometry homework."
"i will do it for you."
"have you finished it?"
"no," he admits, a beat of silence filling the line.
"well, i will see you tomorrow then. good night."
"good night, i love you, sweets!"
"love you too," you say before ending the call.
ii. ice cream
you met peter two days later, his state more jagged somehow. new bruises and scars on his face. you notice how he now wears long sleeves instead of the normal graphic t-shirt he wore with a science joke screen printed on them.
"hi pete," you reach for him, taking his hand in yours.
peter smiles a lopsided smile.
"i haven't seen you since our supposedly date day," you say, "are you all right?"
"i'm sorry about that," he replies, scratching his nose which made the dried scar torn open. "ugh-"
you pull out a napkin from your bag, folding it before pressing it against his bleeding skin. "who did this to you."
"no one, i just fell while swinging," peter says, kissing your hand that rests in front of his lips.
"this is not a bruise, it looks like someone did this to you," you say.
"let's forget about this okay?" he takes both your hands. "an ice cream date tomorrow?"
"sure," you reply.
"hey you didn't sound too pleased with that," peter remarks.
"i'm just worried pete, what if being spider-man makes you dead?" you say.
"stop, i'm not going anywhere," he assures you as he squeezes your knuckles. "tomorrow at three?"
"three in the morning or evening," you ask jokingly.
"at dawn, sweetheart," peter plays along. "i'll be there tomorrow. meet me at the ice cream shop okay?"
"i will," you agree. "let's go home, it's getting late."
"i'll walk you home," peter insists, throwing his arms around your shoulders.
as the two of you walked home, peter's spidey tingles were tingling. he ignores it at first but then sirens came so he looks at you sadly. you nod, urging him to help the police.
"i'm sorry love, please text me when you get home. i love you," he yells as he disappears behind an alleyway.
"bye, i love you too," you whisper, starting to walk back home.
the next day came and you are now sitting on a booth inside the ice cream shop. the time is now three o'clock sharp and you are waiting for your boyfriend to walk through the door. your eyes are glued to the street outside, wishing every person passing by is peter parker.
three thirty, and still no peter. the waitress asks you for your order but you decline it, saying that you're supposed to be meeting someone.
three fourty five, still no peter. you wonder how pathetic you look sitting here in the warm dim light alone surrounded by sweet couples.
you start to worry about him, then you start to question yourself on why you're here alone. peter was supposed to be here forty five minutes ago. he was supposed to be here sipping milkshake and inhaling mint leaves to make you laugh.
you fumble with your fingers, heart tripping and falling with no safety net.
the waitress you talked to earlier came with a tray of strawberry ice cream with a sympathetic look on her face. "here, for free. if you were a cartoon character, there'll be a cumulonimbus cloud hovering over your head," she says, pushing the tray to you.
"oh thanks," you say tiredly, "you don't have to y'know, think i'll be leaving soon anyways."
"it's fine. my manager wouldn't be happy to see someone sitting here without ordering any of our menus," she declares.
"but you said it's for free?," you say.
"she wouldn't know. it's a gift for me to you because clearly your 'someone' is supposed to be here but they aren't. hope this makes it up."
"thank you, dorothy," you read off of her name tag.
four fifteen, still no sign of peter but the tv above the counter was showing a scene of spider-man fighting a criminal on top of a roof high up.
you sigh, eyes shooting bullets at the tv screen.
you pack your belongings before heading back to your home. once again, peter stood you up.
"oh my god," you screamed when you heard a crash behind you. you reluctantly turned around, only to see peter on the ground with his hair messy and unruly. "are you fine?"
peter stands up, shaking the dusts off of him. "love i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'm-"
"peter, it's fine," you put on a smile, even though your intonation screams disappointment.
"it's not, just because you're smiling doesn't mean i didn't mess up," he says apologetically.
"you have your duties. i can't force you to throw it away like how you do your chores."
"don't make jokes now," peter sighs, "are you still up for it? i'll buy you every menu in there."
"i'm tired. i've been sitting inside there for over an hour i just want to go home," you admit.
"at least let me walk you home," peter insists once more.
"okay.." you start to walk away down the block.
"i'm sorry, honey. please forgive me! how about we move this to tomorrow?" he asks.
"i don't think you'll like it there," you say.
"hmm? why's that."
"because i think i fell for the waitress that was there," you try to joke around to make him feel less guilty. he already has so much on his shoulders and you don't want to be one of his baggages too.
"who? i'm not letting a stranger take you away from me," peter makes a salty face.
"secret," you giggle. peter takes your face between his hands before planting sloppy kisses around your face.
now it's like everything is perfect. peter kissing you under the sparkling lights of new york's buildings on the sidewalk.
iii. star wars marathon
"ah y/n hi sweetheart!" aunt may opens the door to greet you. "peter told me you were coming over for movies"
"hi aunt may, is he here?" you ask her as you take off your jacket and put it on the rack.
"i thought he was coming with you?"
"oh yeah! i was supposed to meet him at the skatepark but he told me to go here first," you cover up for him. peter hasn't told may about spider-man yet and you want to keep him out of trouble.
"oh alright, have you eaten dinner?" may asks.
"i'll wait for peter first, aunt may, thank you."
"you can wait upstairs, peter wouldn't mind," aunt may offers.
"i know," you smile at her before coming up the stair to his room.
you opened his bedroom door, taking in the surroundings. his room is extremely messy. like a wrecked ship. you climb up his bed, making yourself comfortable on his bedsheets.
it has been hours since you arrived and peter still wasn't here. he was taking so long to the point where you feel asleep in his bed.
you felt sick in your stomach. all you ever hope for is peter's safety out there.
you woke up when a crash was heard from his fire escape. your body jolt up, your full attention is now on his fire escape.
"oh y/n! i forgot about our movie date!" peter say once he saw your face. "i'm so sorry, please believe me. i was looking forward to it but i i got carried away! oh s-"
"pete, come here," you say sternly.
peter freezes, looking at you like a deer in headlights. he is ready for your scolding as he walks over to you but his thoughts were quickly pushed away when you rub his arms tenderly.
"what happened, darling?"
"nothing too bad," he lets out a breathy laugh. "you should see the other guy."
"no i don't want to see whoever did this to you," you say in disbelief. "stay here, i'll help you with these," you point to his new scars.
"i have super healing, it's fine, love," he assures. "just come here please. let's watch star wars together."
"um i think it's getting too late," you say much to peter's disappointment.
"what do you mean? it's only eight thirty, we can watch one movie!" he starts to replace his suit into his pajamas, ready to watch with you.
"i have to get home, my mom needs me to... uh wash her dishes," you tell him. it's not that you didn't want to watch with him. you're too moody and upset to be around him for now.
he has been absent for dates three times in a row and you feel like you were fighting alone.
you left peter alone in the bed. you can practically feel his melancholia floating through the air.
"hey aunt may, i'll be going now," you bid goodbye to her.
"oh goodbye sweetie," she says. "make sure you get home safe alright? peter should walk you home!"
"that won't be needed, i'm fine aunt may."
"all right," may smiles warmly at you despite the cold air of the night.
when you arrived home, peter has sent you twenty five messages in a row. each of them being
'i'm sorry'
'please answer me, love'
'get back to me when you're home safely."
'pls get home safe'
'i love you'
and those messages over and over again.
iv. science laboratory
since that day, peter calls you over and over agin wishing you'd pick up. and you did.
you answered his call only for him to say that he was sorry and he's going to plan a date again.
you were tired of him asking you for dates and ended up being alone. you rejected his offer, saying that you have some family stuff so you won't be able to make it.
and peter knows
he knows that you're upset he has been leaving you alone on dates.
so the only time left for him with you is for the lab homework. you two are lab partners and you had suggested to do it in your house.
firstly because you don't want to walk home alone in the dark, and secondly, you don't want to lie to aunt may again. knowing that one way or another, peter will probably get home late.
you sat on your sofa, waiting for him to knock on the door. you place out the text books on the tables, set out glasses of water, take out some snacks from your fridge. and peter is not even here.
waiting for him has got you tired so you decided to do the work done yourself.
you already got most of the answers required then peter shows up; drenched in sweat and blood at your window.
you heard the tapping from below and immediately sprint upstairs, knowing it is peter.
"hey, uh i'm sorry," he winces as he steps inside your bedroom.
"hey pete, it's fine," you say, trying to assure him. "come in, let me fix you up."
peter nods, letting you take care of him. "you sound tired," he points. "are you alright, love?"
"that question should be asked to you!" you reply. "okay, here, just sit in my bed, it's fine."
peter does as you say, "sorry about this," he waves his fingers at himself with a bitter laugh. "and also our lab work. sorry."
"it's fine," you say again as you wipe the blood off his face gently. "i've done the work, most of it. you can finish the rest."
"what?" peter asks wide eye. "i- i was supposed to do that with you!"
"pete, calm down. i will let you finish the rest here. you look terrible."
"huh," he breathes. "nothing too bad."
"are you sure you could still do the lab homework?" you say, worried.
"yes love i am capable," he puts on a convincing grin.
"okay..."
peter starts to do the work while you rub his back soothingly. "if you're tired, that's fine. take a nap in my room."
"no i'm not," peter scrunches his nose, eyes squeezing shut.
"okay..." you continue.
v. chocolate cups
that night, peter has asked you to go on a date. and you didn't have the heart to reject him in such state.
the way he smiles when you said yes can melt every butter in the world.
he planned to go to the new chocolate themed place. from the advertisements, it shows to be an ideal date place for a romantic relationship.
you waited there, on the front. waiting for him. you actually has hope this time of peter showing up.
the place was cute and warm. displaying an unreal scenery. you saw couples walking in and you smile at them discreetly. they looked incredibly happy and in love. you can't wait for peter to get here so you can have the same happiness as they do.
you stand there, in the middle of the porch. he is already thirty minutes late. you see pity looks sent to you by people around. but still had hope.
but as each second passes, your faith in him was fading. you didn't know if new york really hates you or it's just a coincidence that whenever you and peter were supposed to be on a date, the city will have something coming up.
you decide that your waiting was too long so you come home. it was humiliating to say the least. the way other people looks so happy while you were feeling crestfallen.
those pity looks didn't make anything better either.
although you understand peter, being spider-man is hard. you have to constantly push your personal life aside to save the whole city from dangers.
a part of you wishes he didn't push you aside like his other things.
vi. the one time
days after, when you are calmed down from that upsetting and humiliating day, peter told you about this dinner place that he was looking forward to trying.
he knows you love culinary and this was perfect for the both of you.
you agree to going there with him, making a promise to be there.
he promised whatever happens in the city, he's sure it's nothing the police can't control.
the day came and you we're fighting your own mind about going or not.
you believe in peter. he's your boyfriend. he does not break promises. but there's always something coming up in evenings like these.
there's always something avoiding you two to be together.
so with the conclusion, you stayed at home.
peter on the other hand was worrying on the table he rsvp-ed. not only you haven't arrived yet but also you weren't answering his calls.
the worst possible scenarios come to his head. clouding up his thought in a fog of bad dreams.
he does think that he deserves this. having the humiliating feeling of when your significant other didn't show up on a date, in a room full of tenths of people with their pitiful eyes.
he couldn't wait no more so he goes straight to your home, hoping that you were there.
it was raining heavily, his neat shirt that you had given was soaked. his hair is dirty with mud and dirt.
and you are. you were reading a book in the dim lit bedroom. he knocks on your window hastily, hoping that you can hear him outside in the rain.
"peter?" you spoke. making your way to your window, the sight that flashes before you was unexpected.
you didn't think peter would actually show up so saving your energy by staying at home and get 'sorry' messages were expected. but not this.
"peter what are you doing?"
"did you forgot?" peter asks sadly, shivering from the cold rain.
"about our dinner?"
"...yes."
"i just thought you wouldn't show up. and i don't want to be in a situation like our previous date plans," you admit, feeling guilty.
"we made a promise, didn't we?"
"yes, pete. i'm sorry. i'm just so tired of standing alone in a room. i'm not going to let that happen to me anymore. i thought something was going to come up because that's what happens in our date. every one of them."
"but we promised. you didn't trust me enough to keep my promise?" peter asks, heartbroken by the thought.
"no! that's not what i'm implying. you always put new york's happiness above mine and i just- i don't know. doesn't seem fair. new york has its own police, government, and what not but you are my boyfriend. my best friend. i miss being with you. like actually being with you."
"love, i didn't realise how much i've been pushing you aside for this city. and you're right. i am your boyfriend and i'm supposed to make you happy- not neglected. i'm sorry."
"yeah,"
"yeah, and from now on i will balance peter parker and spider-man. just call me if you need me, and i'll show you just how much i care about you. more than anything."
"even new york?"
"yes!" peter exclaims. "i guess we're even."
"no, you stood me up five times. and i only did it once!" you joke.
"well that's true," peter says bitterly.
"pete, i'm only joking. i'm happy you're here," you say.
"you told me you missed me. and i do too. so why don't we spend time together. like, right now?" peter suggests.
"yes we can."
"movies?"
"star wars marathon?"
"i'll get the snacks."
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notmuchtofind · 6 months
Text
public eye | d.s
pt2 here x
word count: 1.6k
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tw: mentions of infertility and low appetite
synopsis: the lead up to the breakup between you 2
it's everywhere.
'Drew Starkey And y/f/n y/l/n SPLIT' ,
'What Happened Between Drew Starkey And y/f/n y/l/n?', 
'Drew and y/n Messy Breakup?!"
you can't escape what you're trying to forget...
You and Drew were together for 3 and a half years, you guys went public with your relationship pretty quickly, constantly making tiktoks and posting instagram stories of each other. It sent fans Wild! which caused you to gain a huge following on the internet, from fans of obx to just random people in general that simply enjoyed seeing your guys' relationship unfold.
you were the IT couple. Red carpets, premiers, award shows. you name it. you did It all with Drew. 
your life changed drastically when you met drew. and because you were doing it together it was all okay. more than okay, it was bliss.
It's been 2 months since you guys broke up, and even though neither of you had addressed it online yet, people started to speculate, people started to talk and people came to an assumption (which was correct) that you and Drew were no longer together. 
| a week before the break up |
*buzz* your phone vibrates...
its drew
Drew: Hey, plans have changed, I'm sorry I can't come see you tonight...reschedule? 
you sigh...
this is the 3rd time in 2 weeks he's cancelled your plans for something that's "just come up". You've never been the type to not trust Drew, he's always been truthful and you guys have been so transparent with each other ever since you got together, but something just feels off this time. you know that you guys have been struggling for the past couple of months with distance and lifestyle changes and it worries you that it's all getting a little too much for you both
Was it the brief mention of you wanting to try for a baby in the next 1-2 years? Maybe it scares him? but you struggle with your fertility and starting to look into starting a family now would prepare you for the next couple of years...
OR
Was it the long distance? He's busy shooting a new movie for Netflix which requires him to go back and forth between LA and Hawaii, its difficult because neither of you like LA enough to want to spend time here constantly, but you've compromised for drew, and with him not even being here half the time, it feels like a waste of time. and this text message just tops it off for you, you haven't seen him in a week, and your mainly here for him, it feels like a stab in the back.
you open your phone and tap on the message icon...
your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a while whilst you think of the right way to phrase how you feel
maybe it would be best to just have a talk in person? you wonder...
y/n: reschedule for when? 
Sent!
a few minutes go bye, which feels like hours
*buzz*
Drew: I'll see you tomorrow afternoon after shooting? Brunch?Downtown LA?
you sigh, you just feel like Drews being stale...no pet names? no I miss you, I love you? you know its small but you can't help but overthink
but you're determined to not let your worry show through the message sent back
y/n: yeh, let me know what time, i'll see you tomorrow. night drew...I love you Read 22:34 pm
no reply
your alarm rings  9:30am 
you groan and fumble to switch it off
picking up your phone you squint your eyes to read the message from Drew which was delivered at 7am, you guessed he had to get up early for filming.
drew: i'll be done around 1pm if you wanna meet me at the cafe?
y/n: yeh, see you there
you respond
'The cafe' , the cafe you and drew always visit when in LA for premiers and awards shows most of the years you've been together. you knew exactly where he was talking about.
12:30pm rolls around and you grab your car keys after slipping your shoes on, ready for your 'date?"( if you can call it that?) with drew. The nerves kick in as you have a sinking feeling that he's got something to say... you switch on your car and drive over to downtown LA.
---------------------------------------
You grab your bag from the passenger seat and step out of the car after parking it down a side road near the place you're meeting. As your walking towards the cafe you see drew stud outside the main entrance on the phone...he looks to be laughing
as soon as he clocks you walking towards him he stutters, his face slightly drops and fumbles to end the call "yeh yeh, okay speak soon" drew mumbles.
drew pulls you into a hug as you step closer, its a tight hug, he kisses you on the head before pushing you back slightly, his hands on your shoulders
"how've you been?'' Drew says. "umm, yeh not bad" you smile slightly, nodding as you lie through your teeth. you've been nothing but a mess for the past couple of weeks.
"who was you chatting too just there" you nod, looking down at the phone in his hand
"oh, urm just, my costar in this movie, the directors wanting to change a part of the script so we was just like...discussing that" he chuckles nervously 
"oh I see" you shrug 
taking a seat inside, you watch and Drew goes up to the counter, ordering you both a coffee, he offers to order you food but you refuse. your appetite has been non existent for the past weeks, food was the last thing on your mind.
Drew sits opposite you after placing the coffees on the table. you play with your hair whilst staring at Drews hands gripping his coffee tight...
"so y/n...listen, I'm sorry I couldn't come see you yesterday, I, I uhhh..." drew stutters "I went for a drink with a few of the people from the set and uh... and I was up early this morning, i'd have had to of travel 45 minutes in an uber to come see you last night yanno...like, shit I dont know... it wasn't practical' he squirms, fumbling over his thoughts
it may have been minor, but you feel your blood boiling, you don't feel any apologetic energy coming from drew, it feels more like guilt, not that he's let you down, more the guilt that he enjoyed himself more than he would've with you last night...you're fuming
'stay calm y/n' you think too yourself
"But you knew we made plans for the evening Drew? you couldn't not drink for one night just to make sure you could see me?"
he leans over the table slightly "look y/n/n im trying to create a bond with these people I-"
you cut him off. 
"Seriously, what the fuck drew?!" you scoff "listen to yourself, it's been shit between us for months now and you think doing shit like this is going to fix anything?" you gesturing with your hands, trying to say slightly under your breath so the whole cafe cant tell your arguing
its silent for a moment whilst you both think of what to say next
"you know I'm struggling ?" you say through cracks in your voice, looking at drew, tearing up 
you don't want him to see you cry, you hate crying in front of drew, never mind in public
he just looks at you, guilty and wide eyed, he tilts back on his chair and sighs whilst pinching the bridge of his nose.
"fuck y/n, I dont know" he looks away...
" I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now, I'm working and I'm away and the last thing I want right now is a child y/n! do you understand?"
you're taken back... you've spent the last 3 years moving away from your hometown, supporting Drew, making a life for yourself wherever he goes but he can never meet you in the middle?! he won't even consider thinking through the thought of one day starting a family with you? you're just asking for a discussion about what the future might hold but he gets defensive every time it's brought up...
"Is that it?" you ask " is that what's turned you so cold?"
he leans over trying to grab your hand "fuck...baby, no I-" 
you flinch as you cut him off
"drew if it's not what you want and it's what I eventually want, are we even right for each other? what are we doing? you don't care for me like you usto, you're not the same, your a dick" you say trying not to shout
"I don't know what I want right now?" Drew states, not looking you in the eyes.
How's he being so calm? Why is he doing this? This is not like drew.
"fuck you" You stand up out of the chair and walk right out of the cafe doors, tears start streaming down your face and you try to hide you face with the palm of your hand...
*snap* followed by a flicker
*snap* *snap*
fuck.
you look around...
"is that paparazzi?" you mumble to yourself 
you walk faster to your car quickly opening the door and throwing your bag on the backseat, you fumble to turn the engine on and see slight flickers through the rearview mirror...this is the last thing you need right now.
part 2!!!!!
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