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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 16 days

Note

So I’ve been meaning to ramble about the beauty of four walls for so long now but am only just getting round it so i really apologise because the amount I’ve enjoyed reading every chapter and just the pleasure the story has bought me I should’ve been leaving huge appreciation on every chapter. You’re so talented.

I’m just gonna start by saying that four walls is one of, if not the most, thought provoking and intimate things I’ve ever read. I don’t really have the vocab to explain what it is about it, but the way you portray emotions and just the delicacy of every situation, especially in chapter 8 where they finally get together, is just something else. There’s this underlying yearning and carefulness in each chapter that’s just so realistic, and seeing it written down and feeling that ache in my chest whenever something you’ve written just encapsulates that so perfectly is just heaven.

Also the way you depict insecurity ;-; Alex thinking miles is suddenly going to start looking at him differently. And that possessiveness of miles and confusion he feels about Suzy because she’s more than just a fling and is in Miles’ personal space and bubble that Alex sees as his but now includes her. I just can’t because it’s so relatable and written SO PERFECTLY.

And the little details? THE LITTLE DETAILS! These tiny bits of intimacy like the mixed jackets and the shoes next to the door and the description of miles’ belt buckle and how it moves with his breathing is just- omg. And the little addition of Alex always trying to unlock each door with the wrong set of keys? And the ‘where’s home’ ‘here’ ’me too’? SOBBING. It’s honestly a little scary how perfectly you depict that kind of lostness that can be common for people who are constantly moving about and find that security in that one person who’s always been their person no matter where they are. Sometimes I really think you must just be one of them writing their actual story just pretending it’s fanfic xD

And the nerves, and that doubt, like even though Alex must know deep deep down that miles feels the same he just needs to provoke it until Miles breaks and he can be sure. And that ‘c’mon al, it’s never just you, is it?’ That miles says because it’s just them, on the same wavelength, overthinking themselves into being convinced the other doesn’t want them. And the HURT omfg the hurt. Miles thinking Alex is just pushing to see what happens and to get his own way like again I can’t explain how incredibly you do that and how realistically you portray it and without seeing inside Alex’s mind it does seem like that’s exactly what he’s doing. But Miles’ perception of him vs the way Alex sees him as home (like ‘just the two of them alone in the room Alex most often sees when he closes his eyes to escape other rooms’)just ASGDKFLFOENDB. Babies.

I’m really really late going somewhere and this isn’t nearly the appreciation I want to show for you or four walls, nor is it anywhere close to highlighting all the things that are just phenomenal about the way you write and portray these characters. But the way you write has honestly introduced me to this whole new world of how characters emotion’s should look, and how it’s this simmering beneath the surface that you do absolutely incredibly that makes the characters so much deeper and more vulnerable and just perfection

So thank you so so much, honestly love this story and your writing beyond belief <3333333

hii 💖 oh my GOD where to start??? this is so unbelievably, UNBELIEVABLY lovely i don't even know what to say 😭😭 genuinely, i can't even begin to tell you how much this made my day (scratch that. my whole WEEK) when it popped up in my inbox 🥺

writing four walls over the past year has brought me so much joy, so to hear that this little world i've created has been bringing other people joy too is truly the most special feeling in the world ✨💫

your kind words about how i portray emotions and inner workings is just - god, i don't even know what to say 🥺 that's always been one of my favourite things about writing, but when you immerse yourself in a character's headspace as much as i have with alex in this fic, it can also make it really challenging. like i definitely spend a LOT of time going back and forth and worrying that i haven't got it quite right to make sense for his character, or that i've spent too much time on the introspective side of things vs dialogue. so yeah - to hear that when you're reading it all the emotions feel that real?? aghhhhh. that's everything i could possibly want and makes all the challenges of writing it feel TOTALLY worthwhile 💗 (also, i love that you feel that ache in your chest when you're reading, because that's what i feel when i'm writing them in this fic too 🥺)

i'm also so glad you think all of alex's feelings of jealousy/insecurity around suzy work - that's been something i've really enjoyed writing actually, it feels like her presence is (slowly 🤦‍♀️) helping him unlock a lot of doors that it might have taken him a lot longer to notice otherwise! it's been really interesting to write that dynamic.

AHHHHH as i'm sure you can tell, i'm an absolute sucker for little details, so it makes me SO HAPPY that you enjoy all those elements of the fic 💗 also all your comments about chapter eight specifically and how everything unfolded there have made my heart absolutely sing 🥹 i was actually really nervous about sharing that chapter and worried that it wouldn't measure up, so hearing your lovely words about that scene is just - thank you 🥺 it truly means so much💖

honestly it's not the first time someone has said that they think i must be either alex or miles writing this, and each time i hear it it just leaves me speechless because that is just the BIGGEST compliment ever??? 😭 obviously we only get glimpses of what they're like from interviews, lyrics etc - but they have *such* a special dynamic and are such fascinating people, so to feel like i've managed to capture even a semblance of who they are is truly so special, thank you 💗

i'm going to stop flailing at you in a moment because i feel like i've rambled on quite long enough now, but this: "the way you write has honestly introduced me to this whole new world of how character's emotions should look" THIS??? this has to be one of my favourite things someone has ever said about my writing 🥺 i want to print it out on a post-it note and stick it above my desk ✨

thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful and generous comment - i truly can't begin to tell you what a gift feedback like this is, and how much it inspires me and keeps me going through the tougher moments of writing 🙏 you also sent it at a time where i'd been struggling particularly with self-criticism and doubt around the chapter i'm currently writing, and honestly reading all your kind words just restored so much confidence and joy in my writing. thank you so very much, i'm wishing you the most wonderful day and sending all the best vibes your way 💜💜💜

(PS the next chapter is nearly ready now! 💖)

#sorry it took me a couple days to reply to this!#i wanted to wait until i had the time to sit down properly and give it the attention it deserves 💗#thank you for being such an utterly lovely human 🥺#asks #four walls

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cypanache · 3 months

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Hi! I recently read Patchwork Heart (like twice in two days) and I now have brainrot from that fic. (Which is to say that I loved it.) And I’m sad that it’s incomplete but I’m grateful that you wrote it, and all your other Parks and Rec fics. I remember reading a comment from you (from like 11 years ago lol) where you said you’d been writing for 14 years and you encouraged someone who was feeling bad about their own writing. Which gave me the motivation to keep writing, and made me think, how awesome must it be to be a fanfic writer for so long? This is a rambly comment to say that I’m glad you’re still writing (even if it’s not for Parks heh) and you’re a great inspiration!

(Also I’m aware this isn’t a question but I don’t really know how Tumblr works)

Well this ask officially made my year. (P.S. - Asks don't have to be questions. Especially when they're as lovely as this)

You know every once in a while I think, am I being totally ridiculous just leaving my live journal out there like that? Really, who's going out and reading stuff from over 11 years ago, except ... yeah I've totally done that myself. And I'm forever grateful for the authors who let their stuff just float along and exist. So I'm gratified to know that I did that for you today. And extremely gratified to know that I was able to give you a little motivation to keep writing. I have been doing this for over twenty years with varying levels of success and intensity as my life evolves, but I keep coming back to it, because really at the end of the day, fanfic is one of those hobbies that more than anything make me feel like me. When you find that, you owe it to yourself to hold onto it. Even if you can't do it perfectly or quickly.

I am not going to lie, I'm very sad Patchwork Heart is incomplete as well. That was an unfortunate product of life circumstances overwhelming me and by the time I paddled my way to the surface my emotional relationship with Parks had changed. But I am forever in love with the complete human disaster that was teenage Ben Wyatt in that fic.

Sooooo this isn't much, but this ask made me go back through my google docs. Here have part of a camping trip:

Griggs-Knope-Wyatt (Whatever) Family Vacation

Hell – 375-369 days to go

Yeah, it’s official, Ben does not get camping.

At all.

Look he gave it a fair try. But he just- he doesn’t get it all right. He doesn’t get what’s so fun about sleeping on the floor (”Ground,” Marlene informs him, “It’s called a ground when it’s outside, dear.") or getting so many mosquito bites, or having to make sure your food is put up in a certain way so raccoons won’t get to it. And you know what he really doesn’t get?

Ghost stories.

He does not get ghost stories. They’re not scary. They’re particularly not scary if your dad is telling them. And when your step-mom takes over and does manage to tell a scary one, well then you’re outside, in the dark . . . scared.

Oh and his tent collapses on him in the middle of the night.

Yup, okay. Not. Having. Fun.

Ben just wishes he could convince himself that’s actually because of the camping.

Leslie’s been withdrawn and subdued for the past two days. Not angry, just quiet. He tried to talk to her yesterday morning like a dozen times, but the one time he got anywhere the fact he was trying to take the whole thing seriously only seemed to make it all worse.

He doesn’t know what to do for her. Has the sneaking suspicion there’s actually nothing he can do. Or at least nothing he’s willing to do.

So yeah, maybe he’s going to just lie here under the wreckage of what used to be his tent for a little while.

Except he can’t even seem to manage that, because the next thing he knows there’s the sound of footsteps and a flashlight is being shined into his eyes like an interrogation lamp.

“Benjamin?”

Ben holds up a hand to shield his eyes and squints up at the outline of his step-mother standing over him. “Umm, hi?”

“Benjamin dear. Your tent’s on the ground,” she informs him as though she’s not entirely sure he’s aware of this fact. Sometimes he’s pretty sure his step-mother thinks he’s an idiot.

“Yeah, so umm, funny story about that. You know what it was, it- it fell.”

The fact he always winds up saying stuff like that around her probably doesn’t help.

Marlene doesn’t respond for long moment, and even though he can’t see her face he can pretty much picture it. It’s a face he’s pretty familiar with. The one that says ‘I worry about your ability to dress yourself in the mornings’.

“I don’t- I’ve never really camped,” he continues, unable to help himself. Marlene’s silences are just about the most effective interrogation technique he’s ever encountered. No wonder Leslie’s usually so talkative.

“I never would have guessed,” she shoots back, before adding, “Well, should I just leave the two of you alone or would you like some help putting it back up?”

“No- no, help would be good.”

There’s a long pause, then: “Ben, dear.”

“Yeah?”

“You need to get out of the tent.”

“Oh. Right.”

---

So in a surprising turn of events (at least in his opinion), Marlene actually turns out to be a pretty good teacher. Like okay she isn’t the most patient person in the world, but she’s incredibly precise in her explanations of how to do things like tie a hitch-knot, and Ben’s always been more comfortable with precision over intuition, so it doesn’t take him too terribly long to catch on, and when she pats him lightly on the knee in approval, it feels like getting an A in your most demanding class from the teacher who scares the shit out of you.

All in all, Ben’s feeling kind of good about things by the time they get the tent back up, so when Marlene points out that it’s only an hour or so until sunrise and asks whether he wants to help her make coffee for breakfast, he says yes, thinking maybe things are looking up.

Yeah, no, that was obviously just designed to lull him into a false sense of security.

“So,” Marlene opens without warning or preamble, “Leslie tells me I’m returning the Purdue sweatshirt.”

He barely manages not to tip over his cup of coffee. “Yeah, um, sorry about that.”

“Ben didn’t we talk about that? Um-”

“Is the sound in dumb. Yeah I know.”

The look she gives him could level small countries. Ben keeps his head down and tries not to have an aneurysm.

How does he get himself into these situations? Really why is it sarcastic, smart-aleck things always come out of his mouth at exactly the wrong time. It’s not like he’s trying to be a wise-ass. He’s not really trying to be anything really. (Except maybe invisible. Invisible would be nice right now.) But for some reason it happens anyway, and he can’t seem to stop it. It’s like this leak, this crack in his personality. Ninety-five percent of the time he manages to be exactly the kind of guy he should be, the kind he thinks Virginia Wyatt would have wanted him to be. The kind of son his perpetually fragile father seems to need. Quiet and polite and respectful. But every once in awhile the pressure of keeping everything else in just gets to be too much and these little drops of acid seep through, landing where they’re not wanted and scarring once they’re there.

Except Marlene Griggs-Knope doesn’t scar that easily.

“Oh, sit up straight. Really, Ben if you keep going through life acting like a spineless jellyfish, it won’t just be Leslie who treats you like one.”

“I don’t.” he mutters under his breath.

Only he says it to the picnic table so that probably undermines his whole protest. He forces himself to sit up and look Marlene in the eye (Okay, it’s more like her forehead, but come on, cut him a little slack here. Do you want to look Marlene in the eye? Yeah, that’s what he thought. Shut up.</i>)

“Leslie doesn’t-”

But he can’t make himself complete the thought, because . . . yeah, sometimes she kind of does. And, shit, it’s Leslie’s mom, and Marlene’s giving him this look that clearly says ‘don’t bullshit me about my own daughter.’ Still, Leslie treats everyone like that, at least everyone important to her. Ann gets, like, twenty-three instructions a day. And, well, he likes it. It’s been a really long time since anyone paid that much attention to anything he did. It’s how he knows he’s important, that she cares. If she ever stopped trying to micromanage his life, well then he’d just be another ordinary person on the outside, wouldn’t he?

He opens his mouth to try again, but Marlene waves his efforts away with a dismissive hand. Oh good, apparently he’s now already used up whatever small amount patience she had allotted for him today, and it’s only, what? Five-thirty in the morning? This is probably some kind of new record for him.

Yaaaay . . .

At that moment from across the campsite, Leslie unzips her tent and steps out into the new dawn, only to freeze, eyes going wide, at the obviously unexpected sight of Ben sitting at the picnic table with her mother.

He tries to remember enough Morse code to blink her a S.O.S.

And any other morning it wouldn’t matter that he’s pretty sure he just looks like he’s having an epileptic fit, Leslie would have already come over and rescued him.

Instead she just turns back around, grabs her towel and a bar soap out of the tent and trudges off to the shower facilities, leaving him alone with Marlene to fend for himself.

Okay, Leslie is officially really upset.

“She will get over it.”

At Marlene’s observation, Ben whips his head back around only to find himself pinned by his step-mother’s sharp assessing gaze.

It feels like all the oxygen just got sucked out of the . . . well, earth.

He opens his mouth to stammer out a disclaimer but only manages a strangled kind of gurgle, which Marlene, thankfully, ignores.

“Leslie is no stranger to disappointment. She’s a very resilient girl. Always has been.” She says it matter-of-factly and maybe even a little proudly, then immediately counterbalances it with a sigh of exasperation. “Realism, however, is unfortunately not your step-sister’s strong suit. Particularly when it comes to people.”

Ben just presses his lips together and fiddles a little with his coffee cup, drumming his fingernails against the metal. He’s not really sure why Marlene’s telling him all this. Not that any of it is exactly revelation. To know anything about Leslie is to know she puts too much faith in life in general and people in particular.

So no it’s not like he doesn’t realize Leslie’s been disappointed by people before—her father, Lindsay . . . And then suddenly it clicks with him, the why behind all of this.

People leave.

In Leslie’s world, people leave her.

For some reason he’s never thought about it before, about her history and the painful lessons life’s given her. After all, he’s the one with the dead mother, the great tragedy that defined his entire fucking existence before he met her; that he wears like a poorly healed scar on his personality. Leslie always seemed so untouched by comparison.

But she’s not. He can see that now.

Because yeah, maybe his mother was ripped out his life.

But people walk out of hers.

By their own choice.

Of their own free will.

Ben drops his head to stare down at the film that’s started to form on his rapidly cooling coffee in shame as he realizes he’s been making plans to join them, to go off to college and then conscientiously extricate himself from her life, little by little, bit by bit, until he’s down to a subsistence diet. To the bare-essentials of what he needs to survive. Never once thinking about Leslie’s needs.

God, he is such an ass.

Marlene who has been silent for a little while, gets up to pour herself another cup of coffee, before coming over to sit back down and drop another bombshell on him. “You know, sometimes I wonder if your father and I should have waited until after the two of you went to college to get married.”

Oh god. He feels a cold finger of dread crawl its way down his spine at her words, and suddenly all he can think is: She knows. She knows how he feels about her daughter, and he’s going to die. Up here in all this outdoors, Marlene probably knows a dozen ways to kill him and make it look like an accident. Maybe that’s why they’re camping in the first place. Maybe this was her plan all along . . .

It’s about this time that the rest of what Marlene’s saying starts to sink in. “—it’s not that we’re not happy you two get along so well. After all, that’s the whole reason we decided to get married when we did. Give all of us the chance to try to be a family. But--” she purses her lips, and narrows her eyes, “Maybe we were a little too successful?”

And the terror’s back. “Too successful?”

“Up until two days ago, all Leslie ever talked about was going to IU and being close to home. She’s already learned the fight song.” That makes him almost smile despite himself, because of course she has. He bites the inside of his mouth just in time to stop it. Marlene continues. “And your father tells me you’ve been collecting brochures for out of state schools ever since the two of you moved to Indiana. But suddenly here I am buying sweatshirts for Purdue.”

“I didn’t ask-”

Marlen waves his protest away. “Of course you didn’t.” Then in a seeming nonsequitor: “Did you know Ann Perkins did Model UN all last year?”

-----

When I get a little more time I'll try to bullet point out for you where I was going.

#cy writes things #parks and rec #ben wyatt #leslie knope #leslie x ben #step-sibling au

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mania-sama · 11 days

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Hello, just found your blog and I love your posts. Thanks for sharing them.

When I first saw your blog, I thought it will be about classical books like Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, etc (sorry for my mistake). I'm new in anime/manga (about last 6 years), before that since my school days, I only read classical books.....So not young in age but young in fandom :D

Are those seven are your fav media : BSD, JJK, Genshin Impact, AFTG, Voltron, Demon Slayer, Haikyuu? Can I ask why you love them? What made them special for you?

P.s

Are you excited for the Haikyuu movie, new season of Demon Slayer, and new spin off for AFTG?

Thanks 🌻

Thank you for sending in another request!! I smiled wide when I saw that sunflower 🌻

I completely understand where you’re coming from. The A Tale of Two Cities is sure to through anyone off. Sorry!! I mainly use this blog to post my ramblings and creative projects that I can’t really put anywhere else, plus a few one shots. I might transfer more of my one-shots to here from Ao3, but I simply haven’t gotten around to it.

Love to hear that you love the classics, though!! I wish I had the patience to read more than I have already. I’m an extremely slow reader, so it makes it difficult to get through classics (even though I love them dearly). For anime/manga, I wouldn’t say I’m a huge fan myself. Not that I don’t enjoy it, but I don’t go out of my way to read or watch something in that genre because it’s in that genre. I watch or read anything that may pique my interest, regardless of the format, be it on Youtube, Hulu, Crunchyroll, etc. I haven’t really even seen many animanga myself, to be honest.

I wouldn’t say the seven that you listed are my favorite media, they are just the ones that I have written fanfiction/analyses about and posted it on here. I use that list as a masterlist guide for people to find my meaningful posts easier! So, not my favorite, just whats available to peruse on my account. As for my actual favorite… it’s hard to say. I don’t think I have seven I can list off the top of my head, but I do have some favorites in general.

Interestingly, for most of my “favorites”, I have never written a fanfiction for, nor do I read many fanfics for (with the exception of a couple of favorites). I don’t know why this is. Maybe because I find the original story too good to be expanded upon? I can’t say for certain.

A Silent Voice is easily favorite movie. It’s also my favorite anime, if you don’t require the anime to be a series. I haven’t watched any movie better, animated or otherwise, and I’m not sure I ever will. The characters are all so beautifully human, who say and do the wrong things, who are awful to each other, but who also do kind things, who develop, who change, even as others stay the same. Not to mention that the animation itself is beautiful. I could go on and on about this movie; I cry every time I watch it. I’d say it’s my favorite piece of media in general. Everything else falls behind it. Nothing can top it (at least not yet). Fun fact, if you didn’t already know: the English voice actor for Shouko, the main female lead, is actually deaf. Wonderful voice casting as well, just to top things off.

Bungou Stray Dogs is my favorite manga as of right now. I love it for many of the same reasons I love A Silent Voice; the characters are horribly human and complex, despite their inhuman abilities. Each character is interesting and unique, and while I do have gripes with the main storytelling, Asagiri’s Bungou Stray Dogs: BEAST really makes up for it. All of the character designs are also very unique and thought-out. Each character and their design leaves me spiraling as I think and analyze. It really triggers the autism LMAO.

Child of Light is my favorite video game. While I do have the most hours logged into Genshin Impact (and it is a close second in terms of favorites), Child of Light is simply one of those games that I can never forget. I have a lot of good childhood memories tied with it. I also completed the entire thing in one sitting in about 10 hours, which is the first and probably last time I ever speed-run a video game (speed-run is used loosely here because I am not “speedy” in any sense of the word). Anyway, Child of Light is a very beautiful game both in visuals (with its watercolor game design) and music (one of the best soundtracks in any game, in my opinion). The language in the game is also very unique — every character speaks in a rhyming pattern, all except the Jester character, who you would THINK would speak in rhymes but fails miserably every time. Each character is as fantastical as the next, ranging from a water droplet to a mouse. I wish everyone would play this game, because it’s so fun and so beautiful.

The Grishaverse is my favorite book series, though there are multiple series within the universe. I just don’t have a favorite (definitely not the Grisha Trilogy though 😭). Although it’s been a while since I’ve read the books, I seriously couldn’t put them down when I was reading them. They are a perfect blend of fantasy and realism, with believable characters and powers. While the OG series is genuinely not good in my opinion, the Six of Crows and King of Scars Duologies are actual masterpieces. Six of Crows is full of action, intensity, and found family, while King of Scars balances it out with political intrigue. Very, very well written and well done book series in plot, character, and setting. The TV show is a crime against the books, honestly, but it’s okay, Just read the books, they are better.

Merlin is my favorite TV show. I actually really love watching medieval settings. Not as much reading (not that I don’t like them in books, I just don’t search them out for the purpose of being medieval), but I love to watch them. I like admiring the old settings, buildings, clothes, and lifestyles that are being presented. I also love Arthurian retellings, so Merlin kind of hits the spot. I don’t have as many good reasons for loving this series, I just do 😭. Best (b)romance of the century. I did cry at the end when I watched it. Also, thank you to the Merlin fandom for reaching me what a good fanfiction is supposed to look like.

That’s all I can think of. I don’t really have a favorite individual book, classic or otherwise. I think that’s kind of impossible for me. I’ve read many great series, and I assume I will read a great many more to come.

I’m not sure if I’ll watch the Haikyuu movie. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched the anime, but if I come across it and I can watch it for free, then I’d be down honestly. I have been keeping up with Demon Slayer, with plans to read the manga maybe, so I am pretty excited for the new season!! And don’t get me started on the new All for the Game book!! I need it in my hands right now.

Thank you so much for asking!! I love talking about my favorite medias lol

#anon ask #answered ask #favorite things #bsd #bungou stray dogs #grishaverse #merlin #all for the game #demon slayer #child of light #a silent voice

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altschmerzes · 1 year

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Second and last answer (then I am off tumblr again, short visit) : Oh I just read your long answer to the message. Oh my good I seriously had no Idea. I am quite new on tumblr I just got here yesterday because of your fanfic were was mentioned your name and tumblr, I did not know that this is such a intimate safe space I thought it was more of a promoting fanfic and light and fun website with "hey there" and "whats up" kind of site and just reda your last comments. I had absolutely no idea, you seem to have think that I Know this site and the type of intimacy shared and your story- it must have been so horrible to red my message! I am so so so very sorry! Thank you for letting me know. I swear I will not write you again, I hope it brings you some peace of mind that i was just stupid and dumm and not knowing anything about this and will leave tublr ! it is you life and your feelings and i want don't to tell you how to feel and have no right too and now see what a huge mistake it was to treat this as a happy rambling website. I will leave tumblr now, so you can feel a bit safer if i made you feel unsafe. I am sorry I am writing this anonounoumosly still, but I was shocked by your (rightfully strong! You are absolutely right) reaction and feel not safe enough, which I am sure is ironic to you because you were made felt so unsafe by me- it is just how it is. Have a much better day. I have the feeling everything i write would sound stupid or be taken the wrong way (not because of you understanding it wrong, but because of me not being able to express it because i neither have the language not also the insight into the topic not it seems the sensibilty needed) so i will stop now with a final and the only thing that matters and I hope you can take away: I am so sorry you were hurt because of what i said. It will never happen again.

the only reason i'm answering this at all, bc i've been sitting here staring at it kind of speechless for about 15 minutes, is just to make some things clear for anyone ELSE who might be reading my responses and getting the wrong idea from them.

i love when people connect with me here from reading my fics

i promise i am not usually an overly angry or aggressive or scary person. i don't jump down people's throats for simple mistakes or attack people or whatever. i like to think, at least from my own limited internal perspective, obviously having no idea how i come across to other people, that i'm pretty friendly and approachable and kind as a general rule. i like to think, and i hope this is true, that i am not a scary person.

this is not a particularly...... intimate platform any more than any other social media is. i often promote my fic here and have lighthearted jokes and chat about media! i link my tumblr in my fic notes for a reason, and it's not because i need or want everyone to Intimately Understand The Intricacies Of My Life. it's a blog. i also make some personal posts sometimes, about my experiences with abuse and trauma and mental health issues among other things, but that doesn't mean it's like..... some kind of holy ground safe space. this wouldn't be okay to say to anyone anywhere based on the information available to you when you did it. it is just as inappropriate to make assumptions about strangers' lives and then lecture them based on those assumptions, especially regarding something as potentially fraught as family, on a 'happy rambling website' whatever that means.

just to be clear, none of this is a communication issue. it's not about what you've said being taken the wrong way. i give people the benefit of the doubt as best i can. i extend whatever grace i can because communication is always going to be imperfect especially via text. the problem is not one with wording or with expressing yourself. the problem is that you decided to shame me, a complete stranger, for how i spoke about my parent, when you had no information about my parent, me, our relationship, or our history. full stop. that was wrong. it was wrong, it was inappropriate, it was invasive, it was presumptuous, and it was cruel. you made that choice. own it and live with it and do better.

#gav gab #gav answers #abuse cw #i dont even know where to begin with this so i simply wont #like yeah it was pretty fucking horrible!#you know what else was pretty horrible?#getting repeated self-centred non-apologies painting me as some kind of big scary bastard who bit you for No Reason #long post

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ghostsofruefell · 1 year

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Hello, followers of this account and the others I will reblog this too. I'm just gonna kinda ramble here, but I also have some important info re: when Ruefell will be completed (and Burwick)

I'm sure people have noticed I have a habit of starting projects and never getting anywhere with them:

Honey and Fire, that was my first try at IF and I was a teenager and had no idea what I was doing and it's just no longer a viable project, so that's cancelled for real.

Burwick Destination, I was still inexperienced and young, so my planning is total garbage and needs to be completely rebuilt from the ground up, perhaps the story will change a good deal when I get around to that. But I'm not ready to do that and I won't be for a while. I'm ashamed of how long it's been on hiatus, so I need to take this time to clear my plate and just not look at it for a while, that way it won't go the way of HoF and take a toll on my mental health.

Magic of Ruefell, my planning is much better and I'm still confident in this one. But it's a big project. Which brings me to my newest project.

The Book of Broken Candles. @bookofbrokencandles This one is my new and primary focus. I feel prepared to see this one to completion.

See... I have problems lol. I'm just gonna level with you guys. I struggle really, really badly with executive dysfunction and some symptoms that lead me to certain labels I can't get diagnosed, but are symptoms that frequently strangle my creative efforts. I was in a much worse place when I started those first three projects (and my not-so-secret other one on my main) so they also got this treatment as I fell into yet another pit that prevented me from working. But I feel like I'm in a better place now. It's not perfect and I'm still slower than hell at writing, but I'm also still writing. Consistently, at that, which is something that hasn't happened for me since my fanfic days in my teens. That's a good sign, to me.

I'm worried about what will happen as we get into December, because I already hate how early the sun sets where I live and I don't do well with seasonal depression. But I won't be too hard on myself, whatever happens, and I hope that will be enough to get me through this season without a great deal of pain to my writing.

But that's neither here nor there right now. I wanted to clear state what's going on in my head right now regarding my projects:

Truth be told, Burwick and Ruefell are too much right now. Burwick moreso, but that's for multiple reasons. I've already said it, but I need to return to it at a much later date and pick up the pieces of my teenage mess.

Ruefell, it's in a way better state, but it is... a big bite to chew right now, in terms of being my first completed IF. So I don't think it can be my first completed IF. Its cast and number of variables are on the large side and I don't want to burn out on it. There's also more promise in the plot that I'd really like to have the experience needed to deliver on.

Candles is... getting a bit on the big side haha. It's seeming larger than I expected when I first conceived of it. But I'm keeping it in a much tighter scope. Its focus is much narrower, I'm more confident in the decisions I'm making to keep the number of variables under control (aka not being too much of a people-pleaser) and I have a set limit on the number of chapters it will have, so I can see the timeline a lot clearer. What this means is basically just that Candles will take a little longer to complete than I initially thought, but it won't be harder to complete.

So here's the timeline: Candles completed -> Ruefell completed -> Circle back around to Burwick and complete that.

Then I'll see what ideas I've shelved in that time. I have some I've been kicking around for a long time, and one that may very well end up being my magnum opus when I get to it. And I think my dream is to one day write a VN. I have an idea, but it is also massive, so maybe I'll manage to make that dream come true with a smaller project before that one.

I think that's all I have to say right now... Thank you, everyone, who's been patient with me all this time. If you still enjoy my work, please follow me over at @bookofbrokencandles and send me asks and stuff, I need engagement to survive or I feel like I'm screaming into a void that won't echo.

Ok, bye.

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glowyjellyfish · 2 years

Text

I have been thinking about FF7 yesterday and today for some reason, and read a bunch of discussion, and now I wanna talk about Reeve. Yet again. I can’t remember how much of this I have actually posted before, as I have a tendency to get rambly when I write things up and then cut them back. Maybe I’d be better off looking for discussion on Reddit, but I’m more comfortable here. I’m curious whether my headcanons and concept of him are even accurate within the larger compilation—I went too deep and am trying to temper my expectations.

1. He’s my favorite. He was my favorite before I formed all these headcanons and theories over the last couple years, so it probably won’t distress me too much if I’m 100% wrong. Maybe. Always been fascinated with the double life dichotomy and the contradiction with Serious Competent Businessman whose alter ego is a Silly Magic Cat Robot.

2. Soooo a few years ago, probably before Remake was even announced but definitely within the last decade or so, I read the Ultimania BTS that the concept for Reeve was that he controlled Cait Sith with a magic ability. I don’t know what the Compilation has to add on the subject (beyond “Reeve definitely makes and controls robots”), but I quickly realized that this actually works better in the OG than the more common assumption that he’s got like, remote devices or something. You don’t hold two completely separate conversations at once and get confused about who you’re talking to and when, with each side only getting select parts of the conversation, if you are using a remote and talking into a mic. Honestly I don’t know how Reeve even could have pulled off the simultaneous conversation with Scarlet and Heidgger and everyone on the Highwind without bare minimum Cait Sith’s control device being implanted in his brain and controlled mentally. Not to mention all the times Cait Sith casually slips into clearly speaking directly from Reeve’s perspective. So as you can see, this rapidly became my headcanon for him, and I don’t think it’s actively contradicted anywhere. They just... don’t talk about how he actually controls his robots.

3. So I started writing stuff about that into my FF7/FF8 crossover fic, which injected new life into what was before just a little collection of script scenes with nowhere in particular to go. This led to Reeve developing a solid arc in that fic, feeling out of place because he can’t fight, struggling to continue hiding his ability because he can’t imagine not hiding it but at the same time he can’t not use it and feels like it’s his only asset, finally confessing in an attempt to prevent everyone’s cover stories from unraveling, and getting shipped to Esthar with Ellone for his trouble. There’s a lot more to it, but that’s the basics, and his arc ended up driving a lot of the plot I have so far.

4. I ended up constantly reassessing my concept of how Reeve is as a person in the lead up to Remake, and the way he was portrayed informed my current position and led to my Cait Sith to the Rescue fanfic (actually called Trust. Probably.) Before this, I had a lot of theories about Reeve maybe being coerced or blackmailed into spying, because it’s odd he would add “spy via magic robot” to his already very full plate. But Remake showed me Reeve is angry. And he’s frustrated that he can’t change anything even from his position, and he’s willing to do whatever he can under the radar. And then I realized it actually makes a lot more sense if Reeve uses Cait Sith to covertly join Avalanche. Sincerely and of his own free will. He obviously isn’t going to fully trust them, and I bet he’ll also be doing whatever he can to make sure Avalanche doesn’t cause any casualties, and has no problem navigating both sides to reach what he sees as the best possible outcome.

5. This leads to my current opinion on the Keystone Betrayal. I don’t think Reeve was intending to actively betray them. If you reread the script of the return to the gold saucer, it almost sounds like Cait Sith was trying to ask Cloud why they needed to go after the Black Materia at all. My theory is that Reeve was getting worried about Cloud’s increasingly odd behavior, and Cloud’s inability to explain himself was what sealed the deal. I think Reeve wasn’t trying to throw in with Shinra, but figured it was better to let Shinra take the Black Materia and store it safely in Midgar while unreliable Cloud and friends run after Sephiroth. And Reeve couldn’t exactly suggest something like that without looking suspicious, and in any case he’s extremely used to making his own decisions and going behind his peers’ backs to achieve them.

6. I can’t really justify the kidnapping of Marlene, though. I think it’s either Reeve veering too hard into ruthlessness to get the job done because that’s what he’s had to get used to working for Shinra, or it’s something Tseng suggested and added to this plan as a guarantee. I suspect Remake will do something resembling the latter, if they include it at all.

7. If I was writing Remake, I would then proceed to have Cait Sith be fully kicked out of the party at this point, which makes more sense than just keeping him around even with kidnapping and blackmail, and would be cathartic to the players who find the betrayal enraging. Then, maybe around the time the player reaches the Temple of the Ancients, I’d have a little section showing Cait Sith going to the Temple with the Turks. I’d have the player control Cait Sith with the Turks as awesome guest characters, and this covers the Turk Temple flashbacks from the OG. A bit of Cait Sith stealthing around trying to avoid Sephiroth, maybe. Ideally with considerably better and more fun mechanics for him, too.

8. It’s also my headcanon that Reeve needed to be controlling Cait Sith directly to solve the Temple and get the Black Materia, and even though it couldn’t actually kill him with Cait Sith as a proxy, he remembers the whole experience and has nightmares about it sometimes. I feel framing it a little more this way helps make it feel like an actual sacrifice, the way the OG hams it up. Again, if I was writing the remake…

9. Last headcanon: in the return to Junon after Meteor was summoned, Cait Sith/Reeve spearheaded the shit out of that rescue operation. Who else was going to? Although we weren’t shown it, I refuse to believe Shinra would have imprisoned Barret and Tifa and planned to execute them and just let everyone else wander free to plan a rescue. I have in fact written an entire fanfic about this. (the Cait Sith to the Rescue fic). He’s furious that Rufus still won’t try working with Avalanche to stop Sephiroth, and even more furious about the upcoming execution without trial to pin the blame on them, and this leads to him finally giving up on the idea that he can navigate both sides, and he comes down hard on the side of Avalanche. He immediately starts making plans to free everyone, plans which involve discretely shipping in another Cait Sith in order to free himself, and has to communicate the plan to everyone and convince them he can be trusted. The fic treats Reeve and Cait Sith as the same person, but closely follows Reeve’s perspective as he uses Cait Sith to mount a rescue, and I am also very pleased with the way I have progressed to treating my headcanon on Reeve’s ability like it’s normal, and not constantly explaining it like I did in the FF7/FF8 fanfic. Reeve worries a little bit about saying too much, but mostly it’s just a totally normal part of his daily life, and hopefully readers could piece it together themselves.

...I don’t think I will be totally disappointed if Remake parts 2 and up come out loudly saying “he has a remote control and Cait Sith is also an individual person!” (...even though I think remake part one very lightly supports my headcanon with what little we got), but I will definitely be bummed if they don’t tweak the betrayal at least a little and emphasize his involvement in the Junon rescue. It would be naive of me to expect anything too close to my fanfic and concepts, but it sure would be cool if I am anywhere in the ballpark of what ends up being in Remake.

#ff7 #final fantasy vii #ff7r #final fantasy vii remake #ff7 spoilers #FF7r speculation #reeve tuesti #I hope this ramble will satisfy me for a while

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throughalleternity · 2 years

Note

For the writing asks:

👀🤡😈🤗

and 🧠 for Alex?

If that’s too many feel free to pick and choose! Hope you’re having a good day :)

Hey there! It is not too many, and I have in fact rambled quite a lot:

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

So, whether this will actually be posted is anyone's guess since I've been starting and not finishing things, but my focus right now is the genderfluid!Lucy + Director Sanvers sex convo that I never thought I'd post, so that's been fun to start digging into again. The vibes I'm going for are probably like "To love and to be loved"—them figuring out boundaries together, a little fumbling, and a lot of love. And it kicks off with an airborne packer, hence "dick fic" in my tags lol (kudos to @endersbegin for that setup and for nudging me to write!)

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

I do not consider humor a skill of mine 😅. I think my attempts at humor end up as silliness rather than wit, and I wouldn't say I laughed, but this one was fun in "I love you snow much":

“The view is beautiful.” Alex [said.]

“It is.” [Lucy's eyes dragged] over Alex and Maggie for a moment. “The lake and forests aren’t bad either.”

Maggie snorted... “That’s the best line you could come up with, Lane? Sounds like you’re finally running out.”

Here, it's (a) me enjoying the lightheartedness, and (b) me grinning at myself for kinda lampshading this moment, where I'm like, I'm not witty enough to properly write Lucy like that, so I'm going to write an eyeroll-inducing line and then try to convince you that Lucy's usually better than that.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Hmm, I'm pretty nice I think, so not really! Or like, if I'm mean to a character (and I suppose the reader by extension), then it's usually not in a playful way 😅.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Common advice, but it bears repeating: write what you want to read. Writing is (or at least can be) super hard! But hopefully it's also enjoyable, and a little bit (or a lot) of some self-indulgence is one of the best ways to make it fun, imo. I think that's especially true when you're first starting out—just building up some experience writing fic does a lot on its own. You can worry about the minutia in later fics or later edits. So I'd say that writing begets writing, and the most important thing is to just put some words down on the page and enjoy the journey.

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them—for Alex

A nb!Alex hc snippet, because I couldn't restrain myself:

The first time they see a nonbinary character on TV, it doesn't do much for Alex. And maybe that's weird, they wonder. They couldn't tear their eyes away from the screen while going through the list of shows and movies that Maggie gave them, the ones with women and sidelong glances and touches and kisses.

But whatever, it's fine. Alex figures that the representation just isn't all that important to them anyway. They've started volunteering at the LGBTQ center with Maggie and Lucy when they can, and that by itself—seeing kids grow into themselves, and actually setting up a nonbinary young adult as a mentor for kid who's not quite sure what he is—that's a type of fulfillment that Alex hasn't found anywhere else.

So Alex shrugs and doesn't worry about it. Adding a nonbinary character as a criterion for finding what to watch would make it that much harder when they were already trying to account for their girlfriends' tastes.

It's not until later, cuddling in the middle of the couch next to Lucy, a barely-awake Maggie propped against the arm, that Alex really gets it. Because this time, this character, this story—

The work part of Alex's brain that never completely shuts down wonders if someone has finally managed to hack into human brains, because with each passing moment, mere pixels and sound waves resonate more with something tucked away inside them until feelings come surging up to the surface.

"You okay?"

Alex startles, hurrying to blink away the tears Lucy's spotted. "Yeah." They try to compose themselves, pulling their hand away from Maggie's to wipe at the corners of their eyes. "Yeah, I just..." They make some sort of noise in an attempt to explain, finally letting their head fall against Lucy's shoulder, sighing when she kisses their temple.

"I thought you might like this one," Maggie stirs, finding Alex's hand again and squeezing.

"Yeah," Alex says weakly.

"Yeah?" Maggie sits up off the sofa arm, shedding the vestiges of her half-sleeping state to study Alex. "It's okay if you don't. I didn't mean for it make you cry."

"No." Alex picks her head back up, shaking it back and forth. "No, these are good tears. I, I really loved it."

"I'm glad." Maggie smiles and tucks herself into Alex's side when they hold their arm out.

"You going back to sleep?"

"Probably shouldn't," she says, closing her eyes anyway.

[Okay sorry to abruptly end, but I'm cutting myself off because this is just fluff now 😅]

#director sanvers #nb!alex #nonbinary alex danvers #my writing #ask me #supergirl words #supergirl #thanks for the ask!#my day is going well bc i am about to nap #i hope your day is going well too!#and i did not mean to write this much #i thought the hc would be like two paragraphs max #oh i totally missed the word 'favorite' in that question #it's just a headcanon i hadnt written in a fic #also godspeed if you are writing fic!!#gender stuff

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smileysuh · 4 months

Text

real talk - TEASER

🌙 starring. Mark Lee x afab!Reader

🔮 preview.“You’re Jeno’s roommate, Jeno’s my friend- I know we’ve just met, but I know things about you.” Hyuck explains. “When you were with your last girl, Jeno used to come to the bar and bitch about you never coming out- he’s been wanting you to meet the rest of the boys for a while, but never wanted to invite us over cuz your last girlfriend had some supernatural cootchie-grip hold on you or something- point is, I know you’re a serial monogamist. Two long-term girlfriends. You like the domestic shit, and I get that- but if you want domestic, it’s not our little Miss Sunshine expo girl. She can’t even sleep next to guys she’s fucked- wakes up at five am, and dips out without a word. Trust me on this, dude, you wanna stay far away from that man-eater.”

tw/cw. Unprotected sex, multiple sex scenes, reader has a hard time cumming, oral (f/m receiving), Mark is a MUNCH, deep throating, fingering, masturbation, use of toys/vibrator, dirty talk, praise, Mark is a simp, sex realism, overthinking during sex, mentions of sexual favours in return for affection, a string of bad ex-lovers, breast worship, creampies, aftercare, finger sucking, drunkenness, etc… I pet names: (hers) sunshine. (his) puppy boy.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 19.4k

🍭 aus. Restaurant au, line chef!Mark, slow burn, coworkers to lovers, fuck girl who looks like sunshine meets a serial monogamist who looks like a fuckboy, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. I wanted to touch on some realism to kick off the year. Not everything is as easy during sex as it appears in fanfic/p*rn, so I wanted to make something that might be more true to the real experience of afabs who overthink and need extra help to cum- I hope maybe this fic can normalize girls who need some extra machine power to get off ;)

You haven’t been fucked in a few weeks, and you’re feeling desperate. You want to connect with Mark on that physical level, and sex is always the way you do that with men. You want him to feel good, to give him a reason to stick around like he says he will.

“But wait-” you feel your skin heat, “I have something I should tell you first.”

Mark cocks his head to the side, waiting for you to continue.

“I uh… I’m going to be super real with you right now.” You take a deep breath. “Look, I read a lot of smut? That’s like- I read a lot of erotica, written porn, I guess- and, in smut, and porn especially, girls always just cum so easily- and I wish I was that type of person, but I’m not. No guy has ever… you know, gotten me there. What I’m trying to say is, I can have fun even without cumming. So if I can’t get there with you, it’s not you, it’s literally me-”

“Hey,” Mark reaches up to cup your cheek, cutting off your rambling. “Thanks for telling me, but there’s no pressure. Whatever happens, happens. For some girls, you have to get more comfortable. My first girlfriend was like that too, and there’s never any judgment from me. I’m willing to wait for you to feel safe enough that your body relaxes.”

“You are?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures you. “I mean, I can’t promise that I’ll be as good as the guys in your books or in porn. Dirty talk is something I have to get used to using too, but, if we give it time, I’m sure we’ll figure each other out.”

READ THE FIC NOW

☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.3k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here

👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr JANUARY 20th, 2024

🔮 see what’s already available to read on my m.list

READ THE FIC NOW

#mark lee #mark lee smut #nct #nct smut #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct mark #mark nct #nct mark smut #mark nct smut #mark lee x reader

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serendipitous-magic · 3 years

Note

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

_-_

2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

_-_

4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

_-_

5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

_-_

6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

_-_

7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

_-_

8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

_-_

9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

_-_

10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

_-_

11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery.

_-_

12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

_-_

13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

_-_

14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

_-_

15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

_-_

16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story.

It also informs character behavior and personality.

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

#asks #anon #writing advice #writing tips #writing #fanfic writing #fanfiction #character creation #plot development #character development #my advice #original writing

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fictitious-little-stitious · 3 years

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The Nearest and Dearest Fics

I’ve been actively reading fanfic of Pedro Pascal’s characters since ~January and had found SO MANY great stories that I made this side blog to keep track of and ramble my praises about my favorites.

Already I have several fics that are near and dear to my heart, so I think they deserve an extra shout out! 💞 I just felt compelled to put this together. The following are my absolute favorites so far, but I know there’s room for more. These have made me cackle, sob, thirst, tear up with Feels, rant, believe in love, want to start an argument, whoop like I’m watching sports, sit still in dumbfounded silence questioning my existence, and any combo of the above.

Bear with me - I have never made a huge post with so many links or tags before. 😅 Links for series mentions should be the prologue or first chapter. Also my use of drabble and oneshot is questionable at best. Refer to the respective author’s notes for content warnings and summaries.

⭐️ I’ll occasionally update this list to fix links, update tags because usernames have changed, etc. The stories included will stay the same! Most recent update: March 2022⭐️

💚Ezra💚

Drabbles

“Stop moving and let me braid your hair” by dayoffinkyoto (she moved to AO3 & idk if she’s reposting the requests she wrote while on here) Mandy ran with this prompt I requested and she stole my heart too! Quick - somebody catch her!

This Ezra/Venom crossover idea by @songsformonkeys I would eat this up if we got to see some more!

In So Many Words by @alwaysbethewest I can so clearly picture him doing and speaking exactly as this is written. Wowza!

One Shots

The Icarus to Your Certainty by @thewayofthemandalorian I swooned, I yearned, my heart went *~whoosh~* by how romantic this is!

Long Fall into Oblivion by @oonajaeadira I challenge you to not be entranced and enamored by this Ezra….I triple dog dare ya.

I Follow Your Fire by @doveandgeography Way to take me on an emotional rollercoaster, oh geez 🥺

La Belle et La Bete by @honeymandos No fic has held my heart quite so tenderly while dishing out the bittersweet rise and fall of a story.

I Could Drown Myself (in Someone Like You) by @acrossthesestars Contains my favorite nickname/term of endearment EVER but you’ll have to read it to find it!

Eupnea by @draper-bobbie This is what Ezra deserves!

Free Air by @blueeyesatnight Ever wonder what would’ve happened next in Prospect? I have and I’m pretty sure it’d be this.

Long Way Home by @acrossthesestars A reader to give Ezra a run for his money ahhh *chef’s kiss*

Enrage by @buttercup- -bee The lil gremlin in me that wants to start arguments really enjoyed this.

Small Gambles by @winter-fox-queen The suspense! The adrenaline!

Home by @mandoalorian Heartwarming moments that give me the coziest feelings. 🥰

Lotus Eaten Postcard by @corvueros How I loved this journey - I didn’t want it to end.

Series / Multi Parts

Mysticus by @juletheghoul The first soulmates fic I fell head over heels for. So near and dear to me. I’d go anywhere and everywhere with him.

Doubt Truth to be a Liar by @thewayofthemandalorian I love this AU for our favorite wordy fella! He radiates peace and coziness in this one.

Crassula Ovata by @ezramando I really fell for this world - this story - these people.

Little Flowers by dayoffinkyoto on AO3 That’s my fluffy pastoral comfort dreamscape happy place, thank you very much.

Forget Me Not (Soldier!Ezra) by @miscellaneous-mando Don’t mind me gazing longingly out the window waiting for letters from Ezra… *dreamy sigh*

Forget Me Not (Soulmates AU) by @krissology I’m a simple gal with simple needs. And I simply need more cowbell Ezra and Birdie. Bare witness to her impressive metaphors and dialogue. Update - She has pulled this immaculate series because she’s adapting it to be her very first novel!! 🤩 So excited for her! Check out her blog for more info.

🧡Frankie Morales🧡

Poetry

Need by @hnt-escape 🥺 The vulnerability and reverence in this still floors me.

Nod by @hnt-escape ^Again^ It bears repeating. These two poems complement each other so well.

Headcanons

Ring Pop Proposal by @softpedropascal Romantic and sweet and genuine as all get out!

Drabbles

Tummy Love by @softpedropascal Cassandra writes some of the most wonderful comforting/affirmation fics out there!

“You weren’t supposed to hear that…” by @forever-rogue Ouch! A hurt Frankie makes me hurt. 🥺

Frankie decides he wants breakfast in bed… by @softpedropascal Oh how this made me teeheehee!

One Shots

Telltale Heart by @astroboots A masterclass in angst. Take notes. An all time fav I reread on occasion.

Libertas by @juletheghoul Tremendous. I rest my case.

The Graveyard Shift by @pascalpanic I felt right at home in this atmosphere- Mechanic!Frankie my beloved.

Series / Multi Parts

Oblivious by @juletheghoul What a fab series! Spills and Frankie had me (ง •̀_•́)ง sometimes and I couldn’t get enough of that.

Fixer Upper by @pascalpanic ADORKABLE (I hope to hell that’s not cringey to say?!)

Fix You Up by @starlightmornings I laughed, I broke a sweat, I teared up a lil’. I had a great time!

Hey Batter Batter by @ohheyitsokay So shy, so sweet! I’m eager to read more!

The Frizzy Universe by @wyn-n-tonic (The stories aren’t posted chronologically, but the master list is. I linked “What’s Bullshit to Me” where we first got to read them!) These two… have been through it all to say the least. I love them, your honor. *Update - has been pulled so she can transform it into its own complete story! Follow the updated link for more info on this journey.

🤍Din Djarin🤍

Drabbles

“You’re doing so well…” prompt by @wyn-n-tonic Listen… how could so few words have such an impact?

One Shots

You’re in Your Own Way Again by @alwaysbethewest Omera getting some of her long overdue appreciation and respect!

Shev’la by @themand0lorian Yes yes yes to more Deaf/HoH characters!

The Chase by @joel-millerr Y’all…. the way this got my heart pounding and the adrenaline going 😳🤯

Hunt and Gather by @alwaysbethewest Grogu really shines, I am so proud of him. 🥺💚

Hand Squeezes by @pascalscenarios Just when you think you’ve read the softest thing, look no further!

Series / Multi Parts

The Lovely Moons by @vercopaanir This was the first Din series I ever read :’) It’s so special.

Death and an Angel by @littlemisspascal I haven’t caught up yet but this has taken everything I’ve thought about life and death and put it on its head. Also the most fascinating alternate universe I’ve read so far.

Jate’kara by @krissology The fic that made me sob and question my existence for 2 days. And briefly consider suing for emotional damages.

Hades!Din and Persephone by @charnelhouse Truly a stunning creation and I’m so glad we got a newer addition to read too.

🖤Pero Tovar🖤

Drabbles

This werewolf!Pero fic-to-be in the works by @littlemisspascal I CANNOT wait!! This is gonna be goood!

Hit Me by @foli-vora I cackled! Would buy a ticket for this movie for sure.

Under the Moonlight by @pumpkin-stars *Paris Hilton voice* “That’s hot.”

Taste Test by @alwaysbethewest The first Pero fic I read. Thanks for making me fall for the grump who’s a bit of a softie!

One Shots

By the Sun, Moon, and Stars by @jadore-andor My dearest Pero, my love for him has no bounds.

Herida by @clydesducktape The ache I felt, oh my word… so worth it!

Series / Multi Parts

Better Together by @girlwithanewplan I can’t help but be a big softie for love growing from a marriage of necessity.

“Trying to buy a new couch with modern!Pero” by @sarahjkl82-blog I couldn’t stop laughing at this family circus! Little clowns, indeed.

The Kindness of Fate by @f0rever15elf How soft, how lovely, how dear to me. 💕

By the Pricking of My Thumbs by @thewayofthemandalorian My kingdom for someone even half as good as this Pero.

So here I am just waiting to get accidentally or conveniently married to a mercenary with a seemingly ornery disposition who’ll build us a cottage so we can gradually fall in love, tease each other, and maybe have a pile of kids. And it’s the fault of ^all these authors^!!

💜Marcus Pike💜

Drabbles

Northern Wind by @day-off-inkyoto Marcus, my beloved… :’) I’ve loved this song for a while so to see it paired with Marcus? Meant to be.

One Shots

There She Goes by @foli-vora Much like the song of the same title, cuter than hell.

Series / Multi Parts

Impression Sunrise by @themand0lorian He’s got a bit of an edge to him, his guard is up. But for how long? 👀🤔😘 This universe gives me everything!

Just Say Yes by @doveandgeography Italian vacation meet cute with Marcus. Bellisimo!! Would love to have that someday.

The Hope of It All by @wyn-n-tonic People with some history, alright. Ya love to see it!

Begin Again by @pascalpanic Marcus delivers the quintessential Marcus Experience! Fluff!

Do You Ever Wonder? by @generalfoolish This! Marcus deserves all of this!

Evie’s Infinite Playlist by dayoffinkyoto on AO3 I look at these two and think “Now Kith” at least 2x a chapter!

The Long Con by @youvebeenlivingfictional Make this into a movie already!

The Arrangement by @maswritingblog A perfect blend of comfort and cheeky!

💙Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels💙

Drabbles / Oneshots

The life he fucking deserved by @foli-vora I second that motion!

Before and After by @starlightmornings Get some tissues :’)

Guilt by @scribbledghost What an incredible story of growth, all the highs and lows.

Series / Multi Parts

It’s Been You by @jadore-andor Jack is so beautifully vulnerable and hopeful. Can’t believe I hurt my cowboy like that… 😢😢😢

Buried by @something-tofightfor So suspenseful! I need to know more!

*Psst! Can you sense that I love it when this man gets therapy and a happier, more complex character arc?*

❤️Javier Peña❤️

Poetry

Murmurs by @hnt-escape Eyyyyy 😏 This is smooOoOoth as hell.

Encounter at the Window by @hnt-escape Her poetry captivates me to no end. Mind blown every time.

One Shots

Don’t Get Too Close (For Comfort) by @youvebeenlivingfictional Angsssssst. I’ve reread this so much!

Series / Multi Parts / Collections

Not Qualified for This by @blueeyesatnight I am especially partial to NQFT: Recovery so I’ve linked that, but I also adore Thunderbird. Now this is a real and complex family.

Movement fics by @youvebeenlivingfictional I’ve been yearning to dance with someone for YEARS and this intensified that tenfold.

What’s the Use of Wonderin’? by @youvebeenlivingfictional Is there an Abejita and Javi fan club? Sign me up!

Caffeine Rush by @pascalpanic Javi getting a long overdue meet cute and tenderness!

💖Original / Miscellaneous Characters💖

Poetry + Prose

“Hope” Series - a collaboration of poetry by @hnt-escape and prose by @winter-fox-queen inspired by the InStyle video of Pedro. What a creative world they’ve made with heaping doses of mystery and vivid imagery.

Maxwell Lord

Like Father, Like Daughter oneshot by @mandoalorian Look up “precious” in the dictionary and you’ll find this fic. 💝

Gold Rush series by @thewayofthemandalorian So sweet! A quality redemption story for a fella just trying his best!

Oberyn Martell

Unexpected oneshot by @maswritingblog A perfect recipe for angst and a lil drama with a lil tenderness… as a treat.

Marcus Moreno

Jump then Fall series by @knivesareout Mr. Marcus, Kindergarten Teacher, is the real superhero!

Zach Wellison

Handyman series by @buckstaposition Such a sweet lil series for Zach! It’s fun to get to see more of him.

Dave York

This cool AF honeymoon cruise from hell oneshot by @cinewhore This had me on the edge of my poolside deck chair!

Sins of the Flesh oneshot by @danniburgh My vanilla ass is writing this from the pits of hell. The weather’s fine! ❤️‍🔥🔥

In For It series by @foli-vora Words fail me - just click the link and start reading already!!

Kill Me Softly oneshot by @astroboots I mean, it’s all in the title, folks. Phenomenal.

💞Special Shoutouts 💞

@hnt-escape has the most stunning poetry I have ever read. She’s so gracious! She’s inspired me to start writing again and I can’t express just how much I needed that. ❤️ I implore you all to read and reblog her poetry because it’s just that beautiful.

Sometimes serious topics/events in a story weigh heavily on my heart and mind. So I’m pretty cautious about what I read. However, I can always trust @honeymandos and @astroboots and @joultheghoul with my sensitive heart and mood. The story may hurt and be sad as hell, but I feel some sort of comfort or assurance in their writing, like “I’m ready to hurt again, but this [hurt] too shall pass.”

@day-off-inkyoto followed me not long after I followed her and my heart went *~whoosh~*! Her music taste and her rural/country familiarity speak to my soul. Fluff and comfort extraordinaire!

@mesmorales has been so very lovely in the few exchanges we’ve had over asks and puts such great authenticity into her fics! Like she’s this incredible writer and she’s in my inbox making me feel seen and validated? Too sweet :’)

#my eyes are scrambled from fussing over this all week so please point out anything I need to fix!#pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction recommendations #my posts #pedro pascal poetry #fic rec #fic rec lists #pinned posts

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lord-of-christmas-lights · 3 years

Text

I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai

#inhuman/dark fantasy narnia #the chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #aslan #digory kirke #eustace scrubb #caspian x #narnia headcanons #rambles of a hyperfixating kai

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obeiii-mee · 4 years

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I am not sure if the request is open- fanfic or headcanon an angst of mc sacrificing her life to return Lilith to them and lilth come back so she told she's only here becuz the mc bought her back how would the demon brother cope with it- it is okay if you don’t want to write it :)

I haven’t written any angst yet on this blog so I don’t really know how this is going to turn out. I don’t know how MC would be able to bring Lilith back so I’ll just figure something out as I write along. It’s hard for me to write the brothers suffering help me-

I want to make it clear that I don’t know if it’s possible for a human to do something like this but for the sake of this request let’s roll with it. Lilith is back and MC sacrificed their life for that to happen. I really don’t think any of the brothers would react well because Lilith and MC aren’t the same person. They love both of them very much but they wouldn’t be able to make one suffer just to bring the other back. All the HCs are related, happening on the same day, in the same way. Lilith reuniting with her brothers one by one starting with Lucifer. Hopefully this makes sense but I don’t really have my way around words so——

This is obviously too long so I won’t be able to write for all the brothers in one post. Instead I’ll write about Lucifer, Mammon and Levi in this one and then continue this on another post. So this is part one. Thanks for the request!

Pt. 2

————————————-

The Brothers Reacting to MC sacrificing themselves to bring Lilith back, Part 1:

Lucifer:

-OK, realistically speaking, it should have been impossible for Lilith to be brought back. She lived as a human and died, that’s it, you can’t reverse something like that. But you really didn’t want to give up, seeing the way the brothers acted whenever the topic of their sister was brought up was too much for you to handle. So you kept looking and searching for spells, magical objects, anything you could get your hands on that could help. You even spoke to Solomon about it in secret, away from Lucifer’s prying ears. You were too determined to be swayed away from the task.

-Of course, after a long time of searching, you found exactly what you were looking for. And of course in order for Lilith to be brought back to life once again, you would have to give something in return; your life. It was a hard pillow to swallow but after hours of arguing back and forth with yourself, you decided to do it. For the sake of all the brothers and their happiness. It wasn’t the quickest of deaths but it definitely didn’t hurt nearly as much as it should have. And once your soul had officially been diminished, Lilith was given a tangible body and teleported to DevilDom. That also meant that she was completely aware as to why or how and she wasn’t exactly happy. It was an indescribable moment full of misery and despair for her. She was back and her descendant payed the price for it.

-Lucifer didn’t really believe his eyes when he first saw his long dead sister on their couch, supposedly staring at nothing. He first assumed that he was daydreaming which seemed like the most rational option at that point. Due to all the paperwork he had to finish by the end of the week, he had been rather sleep deprived and it made sense that he started hallucinating. After all, Lilith was on his mind quite a lot. But then she noticed him and she sprung into his arms before he could even get a word out. It always used to be like this. Her running straight into him just to show her affection back when they were both angels and happy.

-She was real, not a dream or a fiction of his mind and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He was torn, as if all of his emotions were threatening to come out at once and he didn’t know how to handle that. Lucifer uses logic for every situation he finds himself in, but this time, it was thrown out the window. It didn’t matter why or how or when. All that mattered was that she was here and he got to see her again after all these millenniums of dealing with the slow torture of having to carry the burden of her death by himself. He was ready to go get his brothers, the rest of his dysfunctional family and obviously MC had to come along too, them being just as important to him as everyone else. But Lilith grabbed his sleeve.

-His sister told him everything. Ranging from MC’s sacrifice to her waking up in DevilDom and to her wandering around until she found the House of Lamentation. His brain stopped working the moment the words registered with him as Lilith rambled on with her story. He almost wanted to ask her if she was joking but he knew her better than that; his little sister was never one to joke about something so grave.

-Lucifer always knew that their exchange student was a bit of a nutcase and definitely special in their own way. Considering how often they went to the extremes and overdid every little thing that had to be done. But this...this was something entirely different. They gave up their own life for them, for Lilith to come back and they did this because of him and his siblings. The second time MC had been ripped away from him, without even the satisfaction of saying goodbye because they were way too good for his family and for DevilDom in general. He wanted to scream and cry and curse his father even more so than usual for this cruel turn of events. Any more of this emotional suffering, and his heart may as well stop pulsating. MC died and he couldn’t help them in any way, he couldn’t stop them from making this mistake because he had just gotten over Lilith’s death and had begun to heal from the trauma. And now you left him as well.

-Lilith forced him to sit down and let him deal with his internal breakdown while she thought this out. At this rate her brother was either going to wind up in a blind rage and pop out another Satan or drown himself in depression and anguish. But Lucifer, despite the range of emotions conflicting him on the inside, tried remaining as calm on the outside as possible. Lilith was right there. He shouldn’t cry in front of his sister, he never did. He was always supposed to be the role model, be the strong protector that she could lean on if she needed help. With a single tear running down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away, he got up, abruptly much to the protest of Lilith and began walking toward the door.

-He had to tell his brothers. The news would break every single one of them and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had the responsibility of going to every single one of them and privately discuss this because god knows what chaos would ensue if they were all in a room together with Lilith. He would have to talk to Lord Diavolo, get another exchange student down there but...not yet. Not yet. He had to tell his siblings first. His younger brothers that he swore he would protect with all of his being since he couldn’t do so with Lilith. And now he had to go and break their hearts while his own lay shattered on the floor.

-But first, he was going to go and cry by himself, locked away in his room, so he can regain the power of speaking with everyone properly. And he would just have to accept the fact that MC will forever be stuck in his heart, with no means of getting them out.

-Who would have thought a human like you would stir up these feelings within me?

Mammon:

-It was his fault. It was always his fucking fault. Whenever something bad happened to you, the first person Mammon blamed was himself. How could he not? He was in charge of you after all, he was supposed to be your protector and guardian during your stay in DevilDom. Honestly, at first, he didn’t really care about you. Your whole existence and the fact he had to babysit you was irritating more than anything. But it didn’t take long for him to get attached to you, he fell and he fell fast. Soon enough, he was about ready to just dedicate his entire being to you (and money, we don’t forget about money). You were his human. So how did he fuck it all up?

-That day, he was supposed to be with you. At least one of the brothers had to be with you at all times, per Lucifer’s orders, to make sure you could circulate DevilDom without getting killed. He had one job to do. Follow you around until you got bored and wanted to go home. Then, since you were left with the rest of his brothers, he could go do his thing. But a modelling gig had come up rather abruptly and he had to go get ready for a few shots. Mammon, being a simp great companion and actually a lot smarter than people give him credit for, was really hesitant at first. He didn’t really want to leave you alone and offered to turn the job down. He would never admit it, but his human was way more important.

-However, you insisted it was fine, encouraging him to go and implying you would be alright for an hour by yourself. Besides, you had something to check and would probably be home in no time. He couldn’t really argue back so he reluctantly agreed and left you to your own devices.

-And that was the last time he saw you.

-After his shoot, he couldn’t find you anywhere. Not at home, not in Majolish, not at any of your favourite places. He wasn’t worried at first because he thought you were with one of his siblings. But half an hour later, he was getting panicky and pushing himself over the edge. Sitting alone in his room, pondering on where the fuck you could have been while also debating as to where he should look for you first. He really didn’t want to bring the subject up with Lucifer because he feared his reaction and the possibility he would forbid Mammon from helping him search for you.

-And just as he had conjured up a master plan, Lucifer walked in. With Lilith behind him like it was regular Tuesday night. Her presence wasn’t acknowledged for a few moments, he was too concentrated on Lucifer’s face, scared out of his wits that he found out you were missing and now he was about to face punishment. His older brother didn’t look angry though. Grave and sad, but mostly solemn, like he was holding back. Then it clicked that his loving sister, the one that was supposed to be dead, was standing next to him. Mammon jumped. Physically jumped backwards and fell off the bed in surprise. If there was one thing he disliked more than giving his money away, it would be thinking about Lilith. His memories with her brought him nothing but tears.

-Lilith smiled, in an honest and slightly upset way, seeing her brother’s antics after such a long time made her feel a sort of nolstagia she didn’t think she would miss. Mammon was still staring at her like he’s just been told he had to give all of his money to the witches. He kept switching his gaze between her and Lucifer, as if confirming with him that she wasn’t a ghost while he kept his eyes wide in horror.

-“Stop that Mammon. Your gawking is giving me a headache.” Lucifer snapped, more ferociously than usual which was odd. Mammon thought he looked more tense, rigid but he didn’t push the subject. He wanted to get up, walk up to Lilith and touch her, see if she was real. And then he wanted to hug the living daylights out of her. But he froze on the spot until Lucifer finally managed to spit out that Lilith was, indeed, back. And then Mammon sprinted straight into her arms like a fired bullet, not planning on letting go for a long time. His sister just smiled again, happy to see her needier brother again and to know that despite being a demon now, he hadn’t changed all that much. That moment was sort of euphoric and he grasped onto it for as long as he could.

-Then came the devastating news that would hit Mammon in the gut harder than a moving truck.

-MC was gone. Forever. Forever, forever. Never to be seen again. Gave her entire being up for Lilith to come back to life. Lucifer told him but his eyes and voice seemed to be elsewhere, as if he struggled to show emotion in his voice during his monologue because he was directing those emotions somewhere else. Lilith tightened her grip on him, preparing for a meltdown, or even an angry fit, anything could be expected from this brother of hers in particular.

-Oh there was a meltdown alright. His reaction was immediate. He started shaking, uncontrollable trembling that he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried to and his vision blurred and swayed as if he was drunk and his nails were digging into his palms hard enough to draw blood. Everything felt unstable and he couldn’t take MC’s face out of his mind, like their face was printed onto his brain for keeping purposes. His throat dried up and besides the stream of tears rolling down his face, Mammon started sweating. In the span of a minute, he’s gotten too immeasurably hot and now he was sweating even though he lives in hell and should already be used to this kind of warmth.

-He became unresponsive after that. Not even Lucifer could get through to him. He just sat there, like a broken shell. His brother was speaking to him about things, replacements and a bunch of shit he wasn’t interested in. He didn’t want to hear any of it. He just wanted his human back, even if it meant he had to serve the witches for the rest of eternity. After a while, both of them left. Lucifer giving his shoulder a squeeze, something he hasn’t done in forever but the gesture was somehow comforting. It showed that his older brother was suffering too and he could tell from his voice alone. Lilith hugged him one more time and pecked his cheek and he wanted to grab her hand and keep her there because even though she literally just came back, he needed his sister to stay with him as he went through this. Mammon let them leave.

-He’s more closed off than before. He still steals shit all the time but it’s out of pity for himself more than anything else. He also took a bunch of your belongings too, something to remind him that you existed once. That you had a presence and changed his life and his brothers for the better. Mammon breaks down at the most random of times whenever he’s reminded of you and these sometimes take hours before he finally calms down. Somehow Lilith is the only one who happens to have an effect on him. Her presence at least helps. But not by a lot.

-Stupid human, letting him be an idiot and allowing him to leave you all by yourself. Stupid Mammon for being such a moron and letting the one person that understood him beyond the surface of the Avatar of Greed and actually associated him with being more than just scum, die. Stupid MC, leaving him all alone...

-He just hopes you’ve made it to the Celestial Realm...but seeing as you died in DevilDom, he doubts it.

Levi:

-Levi was sort of used to you showing up late to his gaming sessions. He didn’t blame you really, his brothers were sure to try and grab as much of your attention as possible so it makes sense you forgot about little old him. Except you never did. Sure you came by later than planned, but you always came no matter what so maybe he wasn’t giving you enough credit.

-Maybe he should have tried calling you, or even just texting you to see what you were up to. That’s why he had a D.D.D to begin with after all. But he didn’t. He assumed you were with Mammon or reading with Satan somewhere. Maybe sleeping with the twins. Levi reasoned with himself that you were probably fine and just got caught up on something on the way home. Yet the pit in his stomach kept growing with every minute that passed and before he knew it, he was pacing around the room.

-He heard Mammon having a breakdown from somewhere, and at first, he really had an overwhelming urge to check in with him and see what the problem was. Maybe something happened to MC. Maybe something happened to his older brother. Levi has a dislike for him sure, but he still wouldn’t want Mammon to suffer, no matter how much money he owes him. He didn’t leave his room. He assumed he was crying because the witches were at it again or maybe because he lost all of his money at the casino or even because Lucifer was punishing him for something.

-Then, a knock came on his door and he jumped to his feet faster than he had ever done so before. Password and all long forgotten, he opened the door to his room expecting to see you. Instead, he came face to face with his oldest brother, which disappointed him beyond measure. He was about to mumble something about MC and whether he had seen them at all that day but something stopped him. Behind Lucifer, just barely visible since she is slightly shorter than him, was Lilith. His reaction was definitely interesting.

-“Oh-I....holy crap, this is just like that anime where the protagonist’s dead sister comes back as ghost and starts talking to him. Oh shit, am I going insane or are ghosts are actually real? And not Lilith, Lilith doesn’t deserve to live the rest of eternity as a ghost-“

-“Shut up Levi.”

-“Sorry.”

-Lilith slowly walked out him and hugged him, which debunked Levi’s theory. She wasn’t a ghost! She was real and she was hugging him! He missed her so much, he was actually still doubting the fact that she was back. Levi tried pushing her out of his mind so many times because it hurt too much to think of her and now she was right here in front of him.

-The moment didn’t last though. Lucifer had to interrupt. He himself was shaky, still processing a bunch of things and on top of all that, he had to break his brothers’ spirits. The words came out eventually and Levi’s reaction was a lot slower than Mammon’s. He couldn’t process it as well and it felt like his life was put on pause, like in one of his video games. Lilith was holding him, as a sort of support system but Levi just kind of drifted in another world.

-Sure, he missed his sister dearly. But that didn’t mean he wanted MC’s life to be exchanged with hers. It was such an unfair choice really, making him choose between two people he absolutely adores. Except he didn’t make that choice. You did. And it changed everything.

-Ever since you left, he hasn’t had as much energy in playing games or even watching anime. He can’t find himself sitting for too long, he always has be to pacing and chewing on his fingernails. Everything seemed pointless without you here. Nothing was right. Watching anime by himself wasn’t as enjoyable even though he used to do it for a long time before you even came to DevilDom. He doesn’t have the energy to participate in Ruri chan contests either, though sometimes he makes an effort to. In a way to satisfy himself knowing that you didn’t die for him to mope around all depressed.

-He just sort of lays in his room all day, speaking with Henry 2.0 occasionally or just trying to relax in his bathtub. But it never works. Your voice keeps ringing in his ears. He misses you terribly and his sleeping schedule probably worsened since he can’t sleep now at all, thanks to all the nightmares he gets every night, featuring you of course.

-Out of all the things the world could have taken away from him, it just had to be his Henry didn’t it? Maybe he was just cursed from ever finding a true friend like you....

Hey, yeah I’m not dead. Just been working on this for a while now. This is obviously too long already so I can’t write for all the brothers at once. I’ll do a second post continuing this ask soon but for now I’ve written and edited this for the eldest three. Sorry it took so long and that I only managed three of the brothers. I’m still working on the following four. Thanks for reading! Part 2 should done soon!

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #to be continued #angst #⭐️ requests #🦚 lucifer supremacy #🐡 levi supremacy #💳 mammon supremacy #🌪 angst

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bluesylveon2 · 3 years

Text

Do You Remember When? (Epilogue)

Written for @levihanweek Day 6: Memory and Day 7: Free Space. This is a continuation of the other fic I wrote which you can find here!

Part 1

A/N:

Levi and Hange are 24 when they meet again and 29 when they get married

Thank you @levihanweek for hosting Levihan Week and @immagoudaboi for beta reading!

Enjoy!

Levi believed, with all his heart, that he was in some cheesy romantic movie or a shitty fanfic. Like the ones where there are 2 childhood friends, they separate, meet again, and fall in love after all those years.

Well, now that movie/book had ended and opened up to the sequel: the marriage.

Levi stared at himself while he adjusted the tie in the mirror. He was currently getting ready for his big day, and he also wanted to be alone for a few minutes. Here he was at a stage in life he never expected. Marrying his childhood crush, Hange.

The couple decided to keep their marriage small. Only close friends and families were allowed to witness the event. Luckily they found a small botanical garden that was perfect for the venue, reception, and sunset photoshoots. Plus, the garden had a section dedicated to sunflowers, a flower that makes Levi smile every time he sees it. Overall, it was perfect for the couple.

Levi still remembered the day they reunited. It was only 5 years ago when Hange was with Erwin, and Levi swore Erwin would introduce her as his lover. Boy, was he wrong.

Levi made a mental note to thank whoever above for not including that.

(Np Levi)

His relationship with Hange developed smoothly for the most part. Sure there were rough patches along the way, but the two always overcame it. Thus their love grew stronger as the years progressed.

Their first date started as a simple fancy homemade dinner. It was quiet and peaceful. The couple had even sung some karaoke and ended the night waltzing to jazz music.

The second date was a whole 180. This date included Levi's 2021 Ducati XDiavel Black Star

motorcycle. It was a gift given to him by his uncle and all the gambling money he earned. The bike alone took Hange's breath away.

---

Hange let out a loud whistle as she eyed the Ducati. The motorcycle was very sleek, black, gray, and had a few hints of red. Overall, it screamed Levi.

"Levi! I didn't know you owned a Ducati! Do you know how much they are? Over 20k!" Hange exclaimed with stars in her eyes. Levi smirked before walking up to her side. He wrapped an arm around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Actually, this bike was a gift from Kenny. He won enough at the casino and bought it for me for my 24th birthday."

Hange fondly smiled at the thought. She knew Kenny always had a soft spot for Levi since he is his only nephew.

"You know what we should do now, Levi?" Hange's smile turned into a full grin. "Let's take it for a spin!"

Levi took his head off of Hanges shoulder and looked at her with shock. "Just like 10 years ago?"

"Yes! But…." Her voice trailed off, and she stared down at her feet. "Can I drive it this time?"

Levi's jaw dropped, and he just stared at her. Hange waved a hand in front of his face.

"Levi? Are you there?"

"I heard you. It's just….are you sure?" He asked with worry, and Hange chuckled at how cute he looked.

"No need to worry about me, Levi. Mike used to let me drive his motorcycle around, so I know what to do."

"He let you do what?!" Levi became horrified. Why didn't Mike ever mention this to him?

Hange waved a hand nonchalantly. "I only had minor scrapes when I first started, but I managed to pick it up quickly. Just like you!"

-----

"So, where do you want to go?" Hange asked Levi, who wrapped his arms around her waist. The motorcycle purred with life, and the two had their helmets secured on their heads. The only thing left to do was actually leave Levi's garage.

"I'm okay with going anywhere. Just as long as I’m with you."

"Really? You don't mind driving us off the cliff?" Hange teased and laughed at her own suggestion.

Levi rolled his eyes but smirked along with Hange. "No, and nowhere reckless, Four-Eyes. Got it?"

Hange did a mini salute before facing forward and positioning herself to take off. "Yes, sir! Besides, I know the perfect place to go."

Levi decided to not question where Hange wanted to bring him. He trusted her enough to know that wherever she brought him will hold significance to the both of them.

Levi rested his head against Hange's back as she took off. He watched the city pass by in a blur while listening to Hange's merry laugh. It was like music to his ears despite the other sounds in the background. He kept his focus on Hange only.

Hange zoomed and zigzagged through the city. What felt like seconds, was actually hours when they arrived at their destination. Levi's eyes widened in recognition.

"Is this?" Levi asked Hange, and she nodded.

In front of Levi was the same park he took her to several years ago. The park itself had been updated in the past 10 years since the time he and Hange last snuck out. There were multiple colorful flowers and trees planted all over to provide more natural shade. Additionally, the city added more benches so people could sit down and enjoy the scenery.

Hange parked the motorcycle so she and Levi could get off. She extended her hand out to Levi (which he gladly accepted) and led him to the hill, where they shared their first kiss.

This time, there was a giant ginkgo tree with bright yellow leaves on the branches. The autumn breeze blew some of the leaves off to float in the air as if they were dancing. Hange let go of Levi to run up ahead and go under the tree.

It was an amazing sight for Levi to witness: from below the tree, Hange watched the leaves fall. She spread her arms out and laughed as the leaves began dancing around her body like it was people worshiping a goddess.

Boy was Levi in love.

"Levi! Come join me." Hange called out to him as the ginkgo leaves started decorating her brown hair.

Levi strode over to Hange and reached up to her head when he was close enough. He plucked a yellow leaf out of Hange's hair and brought it close to examine it.

"Did you know that the ginkgo leaf is considered a living fossil, and it symbolizes hope and peace in China? Additionally, it also survived the Hiroshima bombing, so it also symbolizes endurance and vitality."

Suddenly, Hange's face became serious, and she clasped her hands over Levi's. The yellow ginkgo leaf remained in Levi's grasp.

"Levi, I'm sorry about our falling out in the past."

"Hange, you don't need to apologize-"

Hange shut Levi up by pressing a finger to his lips.

"Let me finish." She added and retracted her finger. "I want this relationship-" she gestured between the two of them. "To be like the ginkgo leaf. Do you want to know why?" She quietly added.

Levi remained quiet but nodded his head, so Hange could continue.

"I want us to endure through every challenge we face together. Until we die. I want us to someday live together, have kids, and keep making happy memories. I know this is our second date, but I have always loved you, Levi. I want you to know that, but I don't expect you to--"

Hange never finished her rambling when Levi swiftly grabbed Hange by the back of her head and brought his lips to hers. She dropped her hands down and brought Levi close to her.

Levi didn't need to vocalize anything, but Hange already knew. It was like telepathy between the two of them; Levi loved her too.

The couple was preoccupied with their embrace to notice the yellow ginkgo leaf flutter down and land softly on the grass.

---

Levi smiled at the declaration of love under the ginkgo tree. The leaf Levi held was now pressed in a frame that sat in the couple's living room. It was a constant reminder of a new start in their lives. It symbolized turning a new leaf for the two.

Levi moved on to add the boutonniere to his suit. The item itself was made up of fake (because it saves money and lasts longer. Hange’s words, not his) sunflowers. Levi smiled after he finally pinned the boutonniere.

Boy, was he in love with Hange.

The door rattling interrupted Levi's thoughts of his fiance, and he clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Mike! Erwin! I told you to knock before coming in-" Levi complained and turned around to glare at the intruder, only to be greeted by his fiance instead.

"Here. Hange?!" He exclaimed, and Hange chuckled.

"Oh, Levi. You know I don't knock when I enter the room. Especially the bedroom. I always catch you at the perfect times." She chuckled and wiggled her eyebrows. Levi blushed and looked away out of embarrassment.

"Why are you here? What about the whole 'seeing the bride before the wedding thing?'" Levi added, and Hange rolled her eyes.

"I could care less about that whole superstition shit, Levi. You know that."

Levi looked at Hange with concern. "What are you doing here anyway? Is something wrong?"

Hange fake gasped and widened her eyes. "Is it wrong for me to see my future husband on our wedding day?" She slumped her shoulders and strode over to stand next to Levi. Levi, noticing Hange’s distress, led her to sit down on a nearby sofa.

"Levi, to be honest, I'm nervous, and I just wanted to see you.”She admitted, wrapped her arms around Levi, and buried her face in the crook of his neck. She was careful enough to not ruin her makeup and hair.

Levi hugged Hange back and rubbed her back. "Your bridesmaids must be worried about you right now. Did you go ‘bridezilla’ on them?"

Hange laughed and looked up at Levi. He looked down at her in return. "Worse, but you don't need to know that."

Levi chuckled, and silence enveloped the two. It was nice, just sitting alone together in tranquility. This was their time to share before the ceremony. Sure, there might be chaos outside the room, but Levi and Hange were together. They endured every challenge like the ginkgo tree. The couple was also like a sunflower and the sun: facing each other until the end of the day.

-------

A/N:

I wrote 3 different wedding au's so far and I find that hilarious!

Thank you @cat for the suggestion! This is late but I was inspired to write more 😁

#levihanweek2021 #day 6: memory #day 7: free space #lhweek2021 #levihan #levihan fanfiction

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mspufflehuff · 3 years

Text

Maybe Kids Aren’t So Bad

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x plus size!reader

Summary: Y/N and Bucky have been dancing around their feelings for a while now. They decide to get out of the tower and go to the store. They happen to pass by some kids who are fans of the avengers.

Word Count: 2.3k words

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, torture, nightmares, and lots of fluff.

Masterlist!!

Author’s Note: I saw lots of people liked my first fanfic! Soon after I saw people liked the first one, I started writing this one. I hope you all enjoy it because I sure did. Have a great day everyone who reads this! (gif below is not mine!!)

"Does someone wanna go with me to go grocery shopping?" you asked the others in the tower as you stood behind the island. Everyone had been awake for about 15 minutes and almost all of them were eating in the kitchen. A few of them didn't hear you as you didn't say it very loudly. Tony told you he had things to do, just like him. Thor and Natasha said they had to train today and go to a mission briefing. Steve apologized and told you he had to finish and turn in the report for the mission he got back from yesterday.

Soon Bucky walked into the kitchen. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping, which you knew very well since you could hear him at night through the walls. You wanted to comfort him but you were nervous since you didn't know him all that well to begin with. He had arrived at the tower a few months ago and was very quiet with everyone except Steve.

You couldn't deny that he was an attractive man. You also had a soft spot for him since you knew what it was like to be alone and scared in some type of lab that kept you against your will. You had been abducted when you were a teen and had been taken to some type of scary lab where you were injected with chemicals. The scientist had given you powers that allowed you to control the plants around you. You could harness energy from them and control them by will.

You could understand Bucky's nightmares and feel the pain in the sound of his screams at night. You used to have those same screams and nightmares but learned to keep them from keeping you up at night. You had started meditating, talking to people, training to release all your anger, finding hobbies that distracted you, and even simple things such as writing it down to then burn the paper you wrote it on.

You watched as he sat down at one of the island chairs. Most of the avengers had already left the room by the time he sat down. You looked at him and gave him a soft smile. "Morning, Bucky. Would you like some coffee?" you asked him in a soft voice, watching his ocean blue eyes move across your form. "Yes, please…" he replied in a tired but sweet voice. You grabbed the mug he used most of the time and filled it with coffee. He watched how you got everything right about his coffee, down to how much he would naturally fill it.

He was surprised and yet amazed you paid that much attention to him. "Here you go." You handed Bucky his coffee, and he grabbed it with his right hand, gently grazing your fingers as he held the handle. He watched your eyes when your hands grazed. He thought he saw something there sparkling in your eyes but wasn't sure as you turned away to get him something to eat. You turned to grab him something to eat as well as to hide your light blush from your fingers grazing.

You took another minute to turn back around so the blush could cool from your cheeks. Handing him a protein bar, you picked up the cup of tea you had made yourself earlier. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to get out of the tower and go to the grocery store with me?" Bucky looked into your eyes as he thought about if he was up for it. He had to think not because it was you, but because he was scared of people seeing him and running. He hardly left the tower unless it was for missions or on the off chance he needed clothes to wear.

"Sure, Y/N. I think that would be good. It's a nice day out, and we can hang out together as we don't normally hang out." He spoke with a soft smile on his lips, taking another drink from his coffee. You smiled happily and nodded towards him. "Alright then! It's a date! I'll let you eat, and I have to do a few things before we go out. I'll meet you in the lobby around 12?" you asked, walking towards the end of the island, making your way to the hallway. "It's a date.' Bucky agreed and smiled back, watching you walk off.

~Time Skip~

It had been about an hour since Y/N and Bucky said they would meet up in the lobby for their 'date'. You had been nervously pacing around your room after you heard the word date fell off of Bucky's lips. You didn't know what to do or wear. Well, you had an idea of what you would wear, but would it make you weird? Finally, you decided on a cute sundress since it was sunny and warm outside. You fixed your hair, put on light makeup (or no makeup if you don't wear any), and picked out your comfy pair of vans. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you let out a sigh and thought you were trying too hard to look cute for Bucky. "Why am I dressing like we are actually going on a date?" You asked yourself aloud and towards the mirror.

You grabbed your phone and looked at the time, grabbing your small purse while walking out the door. Making your way to the elevator, Bucky stepped out of his room in a pair of comfy clothes. He was wearing a navy blue shirt with some light blue jeans. He tried to look nice like you did. He had brushed his hair back some and looked relaxed. He soon noticed you and gave you a smile, the one that usually melts you into a puddle.

"Oh hey, Doll… Wow You look so pretty…" he tells you softly as you walk up towards him. "You look pretty handsome yourself." you replied, shyly smiling as you both walked towards the elevator. "I have a list on my phone of what we need to get for everyone. I was also thinking of cooking and baking tonight for everyone." you told Bucky as you turned on your phone. "What were you planning on cooking?" he asked, pressing the button for the lobby.

"Hmm… I don't know just yet. I was thinking of making something called Beef Tripe soup. It's a famous dish in Romania, and I've always wanted to travel to Romania, or well anywhere that isn't here in the United States." You rambled a little as you rode the elevator with Bucky. "Sorry... I love to cook and bake. I grew up baking and cooking with my mom before I was kidnapped." You smiled as you reminisced about your memories with your mother. "Doll, it's ok. You can ramble to me. I enjoy hearing from you talking about food and different recipes." He then took in the last sentence that you were kidnapped. Steve had briefly mentioned you had been kidnapped but never went any further than that. "If you don't mind me asking, how were you kidnapped?" He was curious but didn't want to bring up any painful memories the kidnapping had created for you.

"Well, I was at home and working on homework for school, boring, I know." You chuckled and thought back to it. "I remember sitting at my desk and having my earbuds in. I realized it was around maybe 10 pm, and I was hungry for a small snack. So, I went downstairs with my earbuds still in my ears. As I made my way to the kitchen, I felt someone or something looking at me. I turned around to see a guy in all black. He ran towards me before I could scream for help. He knocked me out and took me to this disgusting lab, had me strapped on an old medical operating table."

Bucky listened to you, pissed beyond belief that someone kidnapped a random girl from her house. Let alone the fact that you were only a teenager when you got kidnapped, which made his blood boil. You continued, not noticing Bucky's face. "For years, he would test on me, come up with new experiments and chemicals to put into my body. Finally, one day after he said he found 'the perfect formula,' he tested it on me. After hours of being in excruciating pain, I found out that I could control plants… There was a weed growing in front of the small window he kept in his lab. It was the only window that had access to sunlight. I remember him beating me, and as I was begging him to stop, the plant grew larger as if it felt my pain and came to help me."

"It kept growing as he kept beating me into submission so he could test more chemicals on me. After what felt like an hour of beating me up, the plant managed to become this massive accumulation of weeds, flowers, leaves, and any other plant material it could find. It made its way to the man and wrapped around him, pulling him away from me. The plants started strangling him. He eventually lost consciousness and once the plant realized he was passed out, it started wilting slowly and soon died. You could say my pain was what caused the plants to save me."

Bucky was watching you in awe, though he seemed upset (at the man, never you) at your story. "Wow, Doll… I can't believe that happened to you. I'm so sorry." he told you, and you gently took his metal arm and held his hand, smiling softly up at him. "Thank you, Buck. I really appreciate it. It took some time to get over it and the pain of the nightmares, but I'm stronger than I used to be because of it." You let go of his hand when the elevator dinged to let you know you made it to the lobby.

You both walked out of the elevator and to the grocery store that was around the block. You walked in casual silence and grabbed a shopping cart once you entered the small store. Bucky helped you get everything on the list and a few ton of other things you didn't really need but was requested by the other avengers. After what felt like a long time, you and Bucky finally finished shopping and headed towards the checkout section.

As you and Bucky made your way over to the checkout section, you both heard soft gasps from behind you. You both then heard whispering that sounded like it belonged to some children. "Is that really him, Charlie?!" "It has to be Dante!!" Soon, the sound of running could be heard coming from behind you and Bucky. You looked towards Bucky to see if he heard it as well. He had. As you both turned around, you saw two young kids that looked to be around 6 or 7, running towards you both.

The two kids, Charlie and Dante, you assumed, stopped in front of you. They look up with awe on their faces at you and Bucky. "Mr. Winter Soldier??" The little boy asks Bucky with a bright smile on his face. "Uh.. yes?" he asks as he moves to stand on one knee before the little boy. "Can I have your autograph?? Please, Mr. Winter Soldier! You're my favorite superhero!!" Bucky was taken back at the boy's words. "O-oh sure!" He was excited that a young child wanted his autograph after everything he's done as the winter soldier. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, writing Dante a note before signing it.

Bucky handed Dante the note with a smile. Immediately after he gave Dante the signed paper, Dante gave Bucky a big hug. "Thank you so much, Mr. Winter Soldier!!" Dante told him happily and ran over to his mom. Charlie was talking with Y/N the whole time Bucky was with Dante. "Ms. Y/L/N?" She shyly asked you while tugging on your dress lightly. "Yes, hun?" you asked with a smile and moved down to her eye level. "Are you Mr. Winter Soldier's girlfriend?" You blushed dark, and your eyes widened at Charlie's words.

"Uh… well, that's a complicated sweetheart. Maybe one day." you tell Charlie, and she smiles brightly and squeals, running off to her mom and brother. Bucky, thankfully, didn't hear you tell Charlie you hoped to be his girlfriend one day. After you talked with the kids, you paid for all your groceries and walked back to the tower.

"Hey, Doll?" Bucky asked, looking at you as you walked beside each other on the street. "Yes, Bucky?" you replied, glancing at him before turning your head to look in front of you. "What did that little girl ask you? I heard her say something, but I couldn't make it out." he asked you curiously, having wondered since they left the grocery store a few minutes ago. "Oh yeah. She did ask me something.." you said softly as you kept walking, not telling him as you were scared he wouldn't like you back.

"Y/N, was it something bad? Something that made you think of past memories?" He stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk, gently grabbed your hand. "No, no, Bucky, I promise! It's just… embarrassing…" He tilted his head like a confused puppy looking at you. You took a minute before you let out a sigh. "She asked me… if I was your girlfriend." You looked away for a second before looking back at him.

"Oh... " he mumbled out softly and looked away from your gaze. You were scared that he would reject you, but you had no time to react as he said, "Well, would you like to be?" Your eyes widened, and you blinked a few times. It took you a minute to come back with a response. You soon found yourself smirking, asking him, "Why don't you take me on a date first, Barnes?" You took your hand out of his and walked into the Avengers tower, feeling confident in yourself. As you left Bucky on the sidewalk to walk into the tower, you heard an excited Barnes exclaim, "Finally!" You giggled as you continued into the tower.

#bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #fanfic #oneshot buckybarnes

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