#so its just . if i kinda become the beauty standard then its less likely to happen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vampi-fixx · 2 years

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love bites + love handles

BLEACH; various characters x chubby!reader headcanons

ft. gin ichimaru, Izuru kira, shuhei hisagi, adult!toshiro hitsugaya

tw: 18+ not sfw. all charas are aged up. afab reader. mentions of internalized fatphobia, insecurity, in terms of gin specifically, unhealthy relationship dynamics? (sorry y/n ur man is toxic.) in izuru’s section- mommy kink,, uh lactation, death/dying kink?? idk what i have done lol.

gin ichimaru—;

He likes pet names that point out your chub and veer dangerously close to derogatory i.e. my lil’ swine, my plump dumplin.’ He means these affectionately—or at least as affectionate as he can get—but that doesn’t translate well with his permanent smile, his mocking tone. Even if they weren’t related to your size, surely his delivery would make you wonder if it was something more sinister than teasing. If you ever tell him so, he’s quick to rectify.

“Aw, don’t get yer panties in a knot~” he says, curling his arms around you, squeezing your middle. Another thing he loves doing. Drawing attention to your gut, even if it does make you flustered. “I’m only teasin’ ya.”

Canonically, he loves Rangiku, and while his eyes are almost always closed, he’s certainly not blind to her assets. He likes someone who can fill his arms generously, who he can sink his fangs into better—it gives him the impression that he owns you more fully.

If you’re ever down about your appearance—whether it be as a result of society’s unrealistic beauty standards, a piece of clothing that just won’t sit right on your figure, whatever—he’s awful at comfort. His nature is to antagonize rather than to soothe. But if you were having an especially bad day, and were ever to ask him if he likes your body, he’ll offer you a rare, genuine frown. “‘Course I like it. Why’d ya’ think I don’t?” If you were to persist, or even go down a spiral of why he shouldn’t, he’ll stop you, his icy gaze cutting through your words. “Not another peep outta ya.’” Before he distracts you. In Gin’s view, you can’t be lingering on certain topics once he’s teasing you again, right? But his teasing will have a little less bite this time, and lead its way to compliments that come across as more genuine than not.

Something Gin might do that confuses you is procuring skimpy clothes or lingerie for you, and leaving them out for you to wear. They’re often a size or two too small for you, and when you try them on, it’s nothing short of scandalous the way it squeezes into your flesh. It makes you wonder if he’s doing it intentionally, and don’t worry—he is. He’s a dick. His reasoning though, is that he’s quite enamored by the way straps look digging into your shoulders, or garters digging into your thighs, the way you spill out generously from a too-tight corset. He’s all simpering about it too, for instance, watching you parade around Hueco Mundo or Seireitei with a low-cut outfit that leaves your curves to no one’s imagination. In his defense, he can play the role of the “concerned,” “protective" lover in public if you get flustered, dragging you back home by the waist as he tells you, “Ya’ silly thing, why’d ya’ even go out wearing tha’ kinda stuff? Ya’ know what a sight ya’ are?” Hmm, I wonder why. At some point, you can’t trust his choices, and you have to hide your clothes from his alterations.

During sex, he likes having you on top so he can see your softer parts jiggle. He also enjoys seeing his fingerprints left on your skin, and is quite enamored with the marks tight clothing leaves on you. He may or may not pinch your fat rolls. He’s awful. You should break up with him, Y/N. If only the crazy dick wasn’t also good.

izuru kira— ;

Izuru thinks the world is a harsh and unforgiving place. The exact opposite of you and your body, and thus you become a sanctuary of sorts for him. He’s reverent—your entire body is as soft as a pillow, and he’s in desperate need of coddling from the world. What’s not to love?

Izuru especially likes running his hand along the dips and curves of your body when you’re bared before him, likening it to nature, the divine, his muse. And with him sweetly murmuring how you must have been spun from the gods’ silken hands themselves, how can you feel anything but beautiful?

Insecurities are undoubtedly a part of anyone with a body’s experience though, and if you’re ever particularly down about your appearance, Izuru is aghast. He assumes he’s at fault for making his muse think they’re unappreciated. He’ll show you some of his more, ahem, embarrassing haikus about you. If you want, he’ll even give you a mini performance, replete with his flushed cheeks, his gaze nervously darting to yours to gauge your reaction. Writing poems about you in secret is one thing, but having to perform them in front of you? If he didn’t love you so much, he thinks he could die of the embarrassment.

He accepts that there are things you’ll always dislike about yourself. If he were to list his own shortcomings, it would run miles. Izuru always lives in some kind of self-hating despair, but you—you’re his light. He hopes that by showing you how much he adores your body, you'll also come around to it.

If you’re ever pregnant and/or lactating, Izuru would love to suck on your breasts. Mommy kink confirmed. Even if the topic of trying for a baby baby has just been breached, you’ll sometimes catch him staring longingly at your breasts, before catching your eye and coughing, acting like he’s not. He’s mortified to admit just how... arousing he finds the thought of potential changes to your body.

Speaking of kinks, dying and other morbid things is something Izuru muses about often, but when it comes to you, something about these thoughts turns almost naughty. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but he thinks about being suffocated by your chest, or to suffocate with his face buried in your folds, your thighs caging his head. Sometimes these thoughts get him hard—dying is inevitable, and is a constant presence in a Shinigami’s life, but the thought of dying while wrapped up in your loved one? It’s somehow hot. Izuru is a bit too shy to mention these thoughts to you...

shuhei hisagi— ;

If you’re chubby, Shuhei finds the experience of going down on you even hotter. He’ll get nosebleeds at the thought of your thighs squeezing his head, his nose pressed into your slick folds until he can barely breathe, his hands coming up to grip your thighs as he groans at the give of them. Certified sub status.

Speaking of thighs, he loves to fuck them. Something about the thought is just hot—him squeezing your thighs together, his voice husky as he tells you to keep them clenched tight for him... good, just like that. Especially so if the head of his dick peeks through between them. He can literally cum from just that, his breath hitching at the sight of his seed streaked across them. It just makes him want to lick them even more.

Shuhei also kinda—don’t let him know you’re onto him—but when he’s really stressed from Seireitei Weekly deadlines, from his lieutenant duties, from seeming to run everything on his own? If you two are sitting on the couch together, he’ll just bury his face in your chest. It becomes a habit, and once he’s gotten over his hesitation, he’ll ask you for the boob pillow. Sometimes, when he’s so tense from everything, he’ll complain this way only, into your chest where it’s muffled and he doesn’t feel quite as much of a whiner and all he can think about is how soft you feel around him. You rubbing your hand through his head and listening to him complain is a nice touch.

He really likes hitting it from the back, where he can watch your plush ass bounce when his hips meet it. Also you on top, so he can see ever part of you.

His favorite part about you is how soft you are. Your tits pressing against his chest when he hugs you, the way he can dig into the softest parts of your thighs.

He would love it if you ever asked him to pick your outfits for the day, or week. He may not look it, but sometimes he sees a cool jacket or top that he thinks would love great on you, but he doesn’t wanna come across as weird and tell you how to dress. But he’d jump at the opportunity. Surprisingly his eye for fashion is pretty good, and he loves to get you punk outfits that compliment his.

toshiro hitsugaya— ;

He is traumatized from Rangiku’s boob smush. That being said, he does his best to ignore said assets from anyone, even if they are noticeable.

To be honest, it doesn’t really register to Toshiro that you being fat is something you should worry or be insecure about. If you mention it, he’ll blink and be like, “Yes. Your point being?” Truly, he thinks that appearances shouldn’t matter. He’s quite defensive about it, considering how people used to judge for looking too young for a captain.

If you ever mention being insecure, he’s conflicted. He wants to tell you that you’re perfect to him and you have nothing to worry about. But at the same time, he can’t quite bring himself to admit that. Toshiro’s tendency for bluntness and raw honesty is quite clumsy when it comes to declarations of affection. So he settles for showing you instead--with a fierce kiss, his arm tugging you forward

“Don’t be stupid,” he says sternly. “You’re per--fine just the way you are.”

He does try to show you how much you mean to him. Perhaps by upping the physical affection, which is a huge deal for Mr. Frigid and Icy. He’ll initiate hugs from behind, even in public.

If you continue to be insecure, he suggests--and he means this with no ill intention--some guides and strategies for self-love and shit. He finds it cheesy but he really wants to help you, while also not wanting to coddle you? He’s definitely had to look up research guides to relationships before, so he figures that’s a place to start.

As an adult, he’s pretty lean, so he also appreciates the size difference. Toshiro doesn’t treat you differently, hauling you onto his lap in those rare moments when he’s tired from paperwork and wants a pick-me-up, and has stopped giving a damn about decorum. But just picture grumpy Toshiro, nuzzling into your chest, asking for “Five more minutes,” because the feel of being wrapped around is much better than his hand cramping from all the papers he’s had to sign off of.

Ah. I’m loving the idea of Toshiro with a fuller boo and doing cute domestic shit. You feeding him curry you made while he hugs you from behind and complains that it’s too spicy (it’s not; he just has a piss-poor tolerance for spice). Napping with Toshiro on the couch on his day off and he cracks an eye open, a small smile curling his lips at the sight of you as he wraps an arm around you. Toshiro glowering at you when he’s in the rare mood for affection and you keep darting out of his grasp, until he pins you against the counter and steals a kiss from you while grumbling, “Finally.”

Rangiku thinks you’re the cutest couple, and definitely does her best to catch you two in the act of doing, what she deems, “cute couple activities.” More than once she’s walked in on you sitting in Toshiro’s lap, not even doing anything spicy, but just playing with his hair. It’s cute. She has totally taken blackmail pics. In her defense, her taicho never looks that soft with just anyone.

Body worship is big in the bedroom. Toshiro’s cold lips trailing your skin, his gaze heated. He may not be the best with words of affirmation, but he’s content to show you like this how much you mean to him.

#bleach x reader #hisagi x reader #toshiro x reader #izuru x reader #gin x reader #bleach headcanons #bleach smut #not sfw #bleach thots #tati writes #repost from my old blog

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 5 months

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hey, kat. it is that anon.

i just came here to apologize for just ....yeah....how that all went down. i wrote that message in haste. i'm abc so when i saw your post my first thought was "wow kinda not cool of them to say that" but then i thought about how i would've posted the same thing if my relatives were fatshaming me. i agree with you that--especially in a predominantly white society--that we have every right to speak to our identities and cultures, including their unrealistic beauty standards.

i looked through your about-mes and couldn't find any mention of your identity, not that you have to disclose that tho. at the time, i tried to think "how can i tell this person that what they said is not ok if they are not-chinese, but that they have every right to (and i can relate) if they are?" and obviously i did a poor job conveying that. i was weighing the possibility that you were white and saying something racist against the possibility that you were also chinese and you had the right to say that.

didn't want to come off anon because we're moots who just haven't really talked much and i don't want to get off on the wrong foot because i was hoping to become friends eventually. i'm not sure if i can salvage things, so if you want me to just unfollow that's fine.

once again very sorry for my miscommunications. like i said, i was feeling kinda fiery as i thought about the possibility of that post coming from a white person. i hope my apology can bring you some peace. wholeheartedly, i hope you are okay and im sorry once again.

(editing bc I was too stoned to see the part about you being abc alskdkfjfg)

honestly, i think the main thing was that this could have been avoided if you had dm'd me. i'm a *tad* less agitated about it now because i've had time to process and took some anxiety meds.

and thank you for taking the time to clarify. i appreciate it. and again, i get it. you were trying to watch out for a marginalized group. communicating through text is difficult.

tldr;

- you don't have to salvage anything - me explaining the white savior complex a bit more, although I appreciate you clarifying about being abc (so am I!) - although i'm still not okay with the original ask i do appreciate you reaching out again and taking the time to clarify - i'm sorry for being so hostile about it /gen - if you do want to chat feel free to dm (whether about this or hornyposting - i'm stoned af rn lmao and am chilling, esp now that you've taken the time to clarify/reach out)

i wouldn't worry about salvaging anything because it doesnt need to be. you taking the time to type this out already says the world about your position and intentions as more genuine and, honestly

most people don't know. my main gripe was the feeling that someone was trying to come in and shut my voice down. with the invalidation that i have dealt with personally, but also as a community that is constantly having our voice stomped on, the comment about feeling the right to say it was what set me off.

I'm sorry I just kinda assumed you were white (guess we were in the same boat there lmao), but a huge thing that irks me in general (not isolated to this obvs), is that a lot of the people that do these types of callouts are usually someone with multiple dominant identities, and rarely the identity of the group they're trying to protect. and this is a huge problem in the social work field especially because the dominant group is *constantly* speaking FOR the marginalized group, regardless of its what they want or not.

anyway, i'm glad you reached out. i'm still not okay with the ask, but you bringing clarity to it does make it a bit easier to deal with. if you want to come off anon and dm me, i'd be glad to talk and chat, even if it's about this (or levi ackerman's cock idrc)

with anons, comes an extra layer of unease, animosity, and uncertainty, so the potential for miscommunication is very high. but again, the fact that you came out, clarified, despite technically not even needing to because i never would've figured out who you were anyway, says much more about your intentions and authenticity (positive) more than anything else could have

sorry i was so hostile in my responses. this is clearly something i've had to tell people off about. my offer still stands, if you want to dm, please feel free (i'm nice once you get to know me i swear LMAO) to

#kat chats #cw: racism #cw: weed #tw: discourse #maybe? idk #anyway sorry i freaked out the bpd kinda possessed me this afternoon #hope i didnt scare you off i'm normally nice i swear ksjfksdjfkjdsf

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nono-bunny · 9 months

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I have yet to watch the Barbie movie, but the more I hear about it the more convinced I'm becoming that I'm probably not gonna like it, and it sucks because I LOVE Barbie but... That's just the thing.

The Barbie movie was made for the people who dislike Barbie as Mattel's way of reclaiming her as a the feminist icon she was literally ALWAYS meant to be from her very conception... And also serving as like, their most visible way of fighting the weird "Barbie promotes unrealistic beauty standards" thing that's been attached to her for forever

Like. The Barbie movie feels like it's literally meant to make people that hate Barbie reevaluate their opinions on it to boost the brand image, which? Yeah, it's probably actually doing a good job at that as far as I can see from the reactions, and I for sure am happy to see more love and less hate towards Barbie!!!

But also... At the same time it very much feels like it's not gonna be a movie for people in my position- those that grew up playing with the dolls and/or watching the CGI movies. I don't need to be convinced that Ken is Kenough or whatever, I don't need to see Margot Robbie as Barbie cry for me to know that Barbie has been unfairly hated... I don't need that movie to tell me that it's OK to love Barbie despite all the very real issues it encountered along the way, because fr the "unrealistic beauty standards" thing is infuriating to me, fUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT IT'S NEVER BEEN A REAL THING, AND ITS THE WRONG THING TO FOCUS ON WHEN CRITICALLY EXAMINING THE BARBIE BODY MOLDS and anyway....

That movie isn't for someone who already loves and appreciates Barbie now, but it's also like. Literally not even targeting the core audience of the Barbie brand in at attempt to introduce new kids to it, because it's all just. A weird, bloated and way overdue stunt of damage control, but it's also the first one I've seen to have such an impact so I can't even like? Hate it because it DOES do what it's meant to, it's just... Kinda focusing on the completely wrong thing? Current fans aren't overly impressed with it the way a lot of newcomers are, and it doesn't attract new young fans because it doesn't even attempt to appeal to them... So in the end, rather than serving as a big ad campaign, it feels much more like those long Youtuber apology videos using receipts to disprove a rumor and regain positive public sentiment

2023 Barbie isn't for the Barbie people, it's for all the people who looked down on them for liking it, and... Yeah, while that's still important and satisfying to see in it's own way, it also definitely very much stings to have the biggest Barbie thing in forever very deliberately focus on pleasing everyone who DOESN'T like Barbie rather than those of us who DO.

I feel like I might enjoy/appreciate the Barbie movie on it own if I manage to detach it from the Barbie I already love, but... It's almost certainly not gonna be like, a fun "Barbie Movie" for me to watch, because everything I've seen points towards it using the cool aesthetics, the unfair and bad criticism of it and the historical circumstances of Barbie to deliver a feminist message rather than being like... A movie fully about Barbie, for Barbie, by Barbie... Which is what I would expect from a "Barbie Movie"

Anyway, everyone go watch Barbie in The Diamond Castle, it's very lesbian cottagecore, it's good shit

#barbie #barbie 2023 #this whole thing is like reliving Fate: The Winx Saga as a longtime winx fan #and seeing the shoujo genre die off #because god forbid girls get to enjoy things meant for them without seeing them twisted into an edgy unrecognizable form #i think barbie 2023 is using barbie as a framing device for feminism and it makes me feel weird

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autolenaphilia · 2 years

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I'm kinda weirded out by how little of a negative reaction there is to Overwatch 1 being killed and replaced by its sequel.

Like I never played it, partly because i knew they would kill it eventually, partly because I didn't want to support their casino-like microtransactions. But this was a very popular game that people seem to have genuinely liked, and it's just gone.

Overwatch 2 is similar, but there are some major changes apparently, including worse-looking designs and one less player per team. And that would have been fine if they changed things up for a sequel, if you could still play the original game. But you can't. It's a replacement for a game they killed.

I doubt Overwatch 1 was some masterpiece game, I didn't even play it, but there were designers, artists and programmers who clearly put a lot of effort into the game. I'll admit, from watching from outside of the game's players, that some of the character designs looked appealing.

And now it's just gone forever. Any value there was, just destroyed. All that work is mainly just a memory now, except some screenshots and game footage. For most games, Wikipedia says that a game "is", but for Overwatch 1 it read that it "was".

I'm an ex-librarian, and a hardcore cultural preservationist. I think even trashy fiction and media should be preserved. Like we have to be able to experience that media, read it, watch it, play it to make the judgement that it is bad. And even in bad media, there is usually some value to be found that can inspire someone. We should preserve culture, not destroy it.

And it is all because Activision Blizzard designed the game so it could only run with their own servers, no private servers allowed. It's because they wanted that control so they could prevent piracy. And they wanted control over the players. So they could lead players from one game that they fin less profitable to their next that might make them more money by shutting the old one down, as was the case with Overwatch 1 and 2. And they want that control so they could make money with microtransactions.

And the inherent problem with a game relying on central servers is that those won't last forever. They will eventually become unprofitable and be deliberately shut down, or the company will go out of business or whatever. And then the game will die, become unplayable forever, be destroyed. It's planned obsolescence for games.

And the reason this is a cause for anger is that things won't have to be like this. You can design a multiplayer fps shooter like Overwatch to allow for players to run the games on private servers. In fact that used to be standard. So you can still run a multiplayer match of Quake III, over 20 years after the game was created. Quake III might be old, not have as nice graphics or as lively a community, but it's objectively a better game than Overwatch, because you can fucking play it, which is the most important part of being a good game.

Quake III has a cultural longevity and legacy that Overwatch can never have. And that's because it's a game experience you can still have, it's something you can play now just like you can watch a movie like The Matrix, which is a movie that came out the same year. If you have old memories you can revisit them. And if you haven't played the game before, you can play it now. I have old memories of Quake III, mostly playing matches against bots, that I made around ten years after it was released. I like to think there is a 12-13 year old right now that might discover Quake III and enjoy it, just like i did over a decade ago.

That is a beautiful thing and Overwatch will never have that now. Old players revisiting it years, even decades after the fact. New players discovering it many years after it was released. Because it was destroyed by those who made it, and worse, it was designed to be disposable, designed to be destroyed. And I think you should be angry about that. Especially since its sequel is also dependent on a central server and will be destroyed in turned. As will many other games. And a lot of streaming only tv shows and movies (although those are easier to preserve via piracy than games).

Overwatch's legacy essentially amounts to this screencap from an Accursed Farms video, who has made some very good videos on the subject of game preservation.

#my writings #overwatch #i g #this turned into a longer rant than i expected gfddgdg #i had a lot to say

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bi-polar-geminii · 10 months

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i don’t mean what i’m saying with malice, however, can you please stop putting all your inbox asks regarding the issue of listener designs on the main tag. i understand you want people to know about this issue (if this is your intention), but all you’re doing is making the artists who draw as a hobby feel bad, and just adding negativity to the main tag. i understand how it feels to not see yourself represented, but that’s where you come in. for those wanting rep, you can either draw it yourself or if you can’t draw it and are so adamant on wanting rep, commission and support an artist! consistently complaining won’t get anything done but draw artists away from the fandom itself and make art we see for these characters we all love become sparse and less.

additionally, listeners, at the end of the day, are us. if an artist is an afab female, chances are that listener will also be an afab female. some artists may not draw pocs not because they just don’t want to, but because they aren’t well-versed in depicting their features and don’t want to do it an injustice. there’s no need to rush to the worst possible and negative explanation. i have never seen myself represented in a single piece of redacted fanart, however i know better than to just nonsensically complain about it — because complaining won’t get anything done (it’ll only do more harm if anything).

thank you for making your points known, and i hope what i’m saying comes across to you as i intended it to

Out of respect, I did remove the unnecessary posts from the tags bc they did clog up the main tag (my bad, but also if its that bothersome, you can literally scroll past it, your not obligated to read everything)

I’m not slamming anyone or shaming people, that was never the intention here. It was to make light on how some artists choose to make characters (not self inserts) white simply bc of mainstream/kinda racist ideas that characters in media can only be portrayed as white to be popular or liked bc of white beauty standards. I want people to reflect and think about that, but I never said ppl *couldn’t* make them white or afab. Im not trying to gatekeep or force people to suddenly get rid of all their white characters just bc i said there isn’t enough representation

Also *I do* have characters for fandom rep, I have lots of them. The only reason why I don’t post them is because they aren’t finished yet. But what’s wrong with having an opinion on something? You have to admit, people wouldn’t be in my inbox telling that *I* have to create the representation needed and that my opinion is hurting everyone’s feelings if I was a white creator. Just think about that

Also im sorry but the whole “some ppl dont draw poc characters cause they dont know how to!” is an argument thats just very fucking tiring to hear. It truly isn’t that hard, like im being serious. There are *a lot* of free recourses out there to learn if your super keen on learning how to draw the different ethnic facial features. But if you wanna create a black/brown person for example, this is what you do; draw the character, make their skin color a darker brown. Congratulations! You’ve made a poc character! Ladies and gentlemen its really not that difficult, if your not willing to challenge yourself on how to draw different types of people or your too scared to- its gonna stunt your growth as an artist

This was the first time I opened up about an opinion I had seeing in this fandom, so idk what you mean by ‘consistently complaining’ when this whole situation has only happened once (for me)

#anon

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rubiatinctorum · 1 year

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listening to the 2006 taylor swift homophobic CD for the meme. thoughts:

the first three songs are BAD. they're bad.

insert picture to burn homophobia here. "shade never made anybody less gay" but she sure tried in 2006 to prove the difference

DREW DON'T CAARE

a place in this world is on thin ice bc my friend says it could apply to a book i really like. its fine. it's nothing to call home about but it's fine

why is cold as you quieter than all of the other songs so far. did anyone look at the mixing for this CD before putting it on the market. shame bc its the best song so far but maybe thats the nostalgia talking

with a debut album like this who needs a flop era

whatever this sixth song is sounds like it would be fun to sing while drunk with friends, just because of those notes in the chorus that flick upwards. also very cheesy. dear god this album is so cheesy please stop im lactose intolerant

am i halfway through this already

ooh a duet? with whom? probably one of those Country Music Television lads from back in the day no?

this song isn't bad. i forget which one we're on. it's not bad. tim mcgraw set my expectations really low you see

there's this next song (stay beautiful?) that the verses are sooooooo bad but the chorus is fun. taylor could write chorus melodies only in this era i think. nothing else is good but by god those choruses sound a bit fun that it kinda rots my hater soul a bit

good evening rubia. you said you own the homophobic edition of the taylor swift 2006 cd. before you you will find 45 free minutes and a CD player, if you bop in your seat a bit and admit some of these songs sound fun, a mallet will come down on your head blasting your brains to bits immediately. listen wisely

do i hear a fiddle? the fiddler is carrying this

OH i recognise this what the fuck is it. i remember this what's the name??? should've said no? the chorus is the best part once again, the verses are hard to get through. 6/10 it's listenable and she doesn't bitch about gay people in this one (i think i'm not reading the lyrics to this)

i'm starting to regret deciding to listen to this whole CD.

I'll never sin again please make it stop

I need to stop being sober

THE BEGINNING OF MARY'S SONG IS . I DON'T LIKE THAT!

they use this CD to brainwash people into becoming conservatives but it's not going to work on me it's not

"Yeah rubia like your politics were any better than this in 2006." they were actually. i was a six year old but i was a six year old with standards

i could turn this off at any time and delete this post draft and no one would know. there's still time to save myself

oh thank god the fiddler is back. OUR SONG!?!? not the worst song, not the best. nostalgia is assisting me through this one. at least it's kinda fun. at least she's having fun. see i can be a joyful person

never mind the bridge in this one is kinda weak. hey at least it's also short

i survived this CD. don't ever make me do this ever again

#rubia speaks #taylor swift CD (homophobic edition)#music review #stans don't hate me im taking the piss is all i'm doing

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fierceawakening · 2 years

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Yeah, I think that’s part of it for me. Some people seem to b3 saying “fuck your fascist beauty standards,” but others seem to ve saying “doctors are fatphobic” or “you need more than 2000 calories a day even if you’re 5 foot 2 and thin,” and if you follow any advice at all, from eating less calories to trying to look pretty, “diet culture” has you in its nefarious clutches.

And I’m left confused, because while I know women’s magazines exist, I never took them particularly seriously because I’m transmasc anyway, so am I “immune to diet culture” or did “diet culture” just become a bigger thing in generations after mine? People wanted me to be pretty but that meant not expressing my gender so it kinda… all went in the same bucket for me?

Which leads me to think this is primarily a cis woman thing? Except that people say the counter, fat posi/Haes, etc. is for all genders. Which makes me a little confused when everyone seems to be AFAB.

Which leads me to think I just missed the memo, but when I say that people act as if I’m doing some5ig. To them. Like someone recently was straight up like “why is this weird to you?”Like I’m supposed to get it.

and I dunno, I mean I guess I knew society wanted me to be pretty, but I was honestly not sure WHY society wanted particular things.

So when I think of weight I think of a thing I keep seeing information about where the average size of people in the us is growing, and that scientists Seem to think a rise in Availability of processed foods is the cause. and this is leadin to heart disease, diabetes and blood pressure issues including in young children in many poor communities that are food deserts or where the cultural dishes tend to be fried foods.

Then people come along and say “there’s no proof fat affects health” or “some people are meant to be fat,” and when you ask them what they mean they say you’re Vfected by diet culture if you disagree, and tHt even doctors are bamboozled!

But you ask them for science and they’re all just quoting each other, and seeming to choose studies that show what they want. And even those studies seem to say “fat is one factor among many” not “this trend of weight increase is some5hig we should all just ignore, it’s as if we all started having green eyes.”

Like I tried to believe that, bu then I gained weight and my blood pressure went up. And when I lost it again m y blood pressure went back down.

#weight loss

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rachymarie · 2 months

Text

A lil TMI for your morning (or night probably anywhere else in the world) but I got a ✨cosmetic upgrade✨ recently in the form of freezing off this (benign + non-contagious) thing I've had near my eye since like 2021 or earlier. It was just really starting to bother me, with its appearance always slightly changing, my makeup always getting caught on/gathering/clumping on and around it, leaving a portion of dry scaly mess cluttering up my "lewk".

It was a chronic pain in my ass, one of the (lesser, but still) banes of my life and (now apparently not so) eternal chagrin

Fingers crossed that's all of it gone and that it shan't return (not sure if that's a thing?)

Damn i love liquid nitrogen 😅

If you don't get keloids, or have otherwise risk-factor afflictions, and it's accessible to you (sorry I'm not at all versed with how things work in the rest of the world, so I'm basically saying this applies if it's possible for you) and this is your sign to go get that thing removed if it bothers you or brings you down-- or even, in the interest of catching the more nefarious conditions early check your lumps n bumps

It's a great confidence boost and i feel like maybe skin stuff should be more talked about and less taboo. Not to hand anyone any future psychological weapons against me or anything (ha, that's basically my whole blog at this point, right), but one of my biggest insecurities has always been skin/unwanted hair (and the penalties I often face when trying to removing it, what with my intensely sensitive skin) - like, I can live with being overweight/not being my goal weight (fuelling/procuring energy for basic and beyond basic functioning to survive and perhaps someday thrive (hopes and dreams y'all) is most important at this juncture)) more than I can live with having skin imperfections (yay internalized toxic beauty standards prevails 🙃). Am coping somewhat nevertheless (Trying not to go on a tangent rant about the time I was complaining to my bff about my skin issues etc comorbid with my illness, and was told to just "think positive" (LoA) and they will go away - but alas I guess I just failed that attempt. Geez will I ever get over that convo it doesn't look like it lol 😅)

Damn i love liquid nitrogen but also much love to all my keloid-prone babes out there, i see you. I didn't get this thing frozen off for all these years only due the fear of leaving potential keloid scarring to the point where it makes me feel worse than the actual spot did. Though now I'm not so sure I am actually keloid-prone (lowkey havin' an identity crisis about it) because i get normal scarring and turns out my big "keloid" scar is actually more liekly the result of poor/inexperienced suturing in the butterfly-stitching of the open wound at the time. but in my heart i will always kinda hold feel bound to the keloid-prone identity even though it turns out I've maybe been an impostor to it all this time. I mean the mentality of avoiding activities that may cause wound/scars, (translating to being "extremely precious" about partaking in things like sports or risky physical behaviours, altercations etc etc yada-yada-ya) body mods etc has affected me haven't gotten tattoos or piercings my whole life due to this

Anyway yet again this has become yet another Rachel Ramble™ - but basically get your spots, lumps n bumps checked if you can, and even if for a cosmetic upgrade/confidence boost/make your life easier (now i can start my beauty YouTube journey relatively unhindered, aside from nowhere to film (need to clear my desk)) get those babies removed.

Goodness goshness even my post-ramble-amble becomes a ramble 😅

#Rachel rambles #rambling #ramblings of a schizo #schizospec rambling #skin stuff #personal #tmi #life goals #confidence #skin issues #keloids #keloid-prone #keloid scar #keloid scarring #keloid-prone problems

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thelifeoftuan · 2 years

Photo

Someone asked me “what inspired these pictures?” (Prepare for an excessively and unnecessarily detailed post about this series I did. Hahaha!)

“Beautiful” isn’t a word I don’t think I’ve ever used to describe myself. Only one person in my life has ever called me “beautiful.” I remember the conversation, as we were sitting on the beach and I was staring out into the horizon, and then out of nowhere he says, “You know, you’re really beautiful.” I remember I chuckled in that nervous way I get when I’m embarrassed, and all I could say at that time was a quavering “thanks.” I’m pretty sure he was talking about my inner beauty more than anything. Hahaha! At the end of last year, I was having a random conversation with a few people and the subject made its way toward people’s “standards” of what it means to be beautiful, and then opinions were thrown around about what is considered beautiful and what is not, what is an acceptable “standard of beauty” and what are deviants from that “standard.” I kinda just sat there and listened. I didn’t really have much of an opinion at the time myself, since this is a topic I’ve never really broached or necessarily paid that much attention to up until this point. But it got me thinking later that night... all those years ago on the beach, why was I so dismissive about being called beautiful? I've been thinking a lot about the “standards” that I've set for myself, certain expectations about the way I look and the way I want to portray myself to the world. I've always tried to stay true to myself and be comfortable with who I am, which wasn’t as easy of a process. But over the recent years, I feel like I've been able to stick with it and I've definitely become more confident with my persona and how I want to represent myself and not cave to any sort of “standard” out there. And in this day and age, that's a pretty difficult thing to do, especially when these unrealistic "standards" for beauty are so rampant and in your face. I’ve never felt like I was attractive. We could probably spend days and days on that topic alone and why that is. But anyway, over the years, it seemed to matter less and less to me what I thought other people’s view of me might be. Like, at the end of the day, who cares, right? I’ve come to believe that the only person who really has control over that is you yourself. Don’t let other people control your own view of who you are. Quite frankly, being called beautiful in any connotation is a pretty outstanding feat, in my opinion. People should receive that compliment on a daily basis! People are beautiful in their own way, and I think it's the personal and unique definitions of beauty that really set us apart and make us special. So I pondered about what my own definition of beauty would be and how I wanted to portray that to the world. So that’s what I wanted to focus this persona project on: Beauty and my definition of what that means to me, and me only. I originally had intended this persona project to be just one photo, but it rapidly expanded to a set of three. I wanted these pictures to portray me in a way that I felt was genuine, yet with a little something different, with each picture depicting a different theme but still cohesive enough to portray different aspects of my definition of beauty. Part 1: So I had started planning the first part of this persona project at the end of the last year, and I'd been pretty obsessed with flowers for a while now and wanted to do a persona project with that theme. So I racked the creative parts of my brain and rummaged the Internet for some ideas and decided on creating a flower hairpiece-type thing for the photo concept. I wanted to keep it simple, because simplicity I feel like is part of my definition of beauty. Flowers have so much symbolization, and over the past year, I've done quite a bit of research about them and their meanings as I'm putting together one of my stories that relies heavily on the meaning of different flowers. I think the epitome of beauty, not even pertaining to "standards" but the uniqueness and individuality of beauty, are flowers. Each person appreciates flowers in a different way and no two flowers are the same, and that alone gives flowers that unbridled power to be their own kind of beautiful. I think that's something quite truly profound. A quick aside about the process of putting this project together. Haha! I thought the idea I came up with would be pretty easy to put together. But as I was putting the flower hairpiece together, I realized just how not easy it was going to be. I had ordered these really pretty resin craft flowers from Amazon, but when I received them, I realized just how fragile and delicate they were, and I was like, "oh, no, this is going to fall apart on me." I risked it with the hot glue gun as well as I was piecing together the flowers into a hairpiece. And I didn't really plan appropriately either, because I had glued them into a pretty linear piece, but I had intended to curve the hairpiece over my ear, so I wasn't sure how that was going to work. And the next complication came when I was trying to determine how exactly I was going to get the hairpiece onto the side of my head at all. After a ton of research and failed ideas, I landed on body glue. I've never used the stuff before, and so when it came in and I was testing it out, I realized it was gonna be a little bit more of a hassle than I imagined, especially with getting it to stick to my hair. And then there was the issue of applying it and then getting the hairpiece to line up appropriately and not fall apart. I should’ve recorded myself trying to glue the flower hairpiece onto the side of my head. I definitely looked like a loon. Hahaha! I was quite surprised the thing held together. Some dumb luck, to be honest, but the final product turned out quite well. A lot better than I expected! I'm pretty impressed with myself that I pulled this one off, as it wound up being one of the more technically challenging projects. I think confidence is one the true defining factors of how I define beauty. It's not so much "you got it, so own it," but more so, "if you own it, then you got it." It starts with believing in yourself, feeling it from the inside, and letting it flow naturally to the outside, not just for yourself but for everything surrounding you. True confidence, true beauty, isn't reserved to a singular object in my opinion. If something or someone is truly beautiful, they will make everything else around them beautiful. And that starts from within. It starts with a confidence and inner strength that allows you to be comfortable with who you are, who you truly are. I found a few quotes to attach to this project that I felt really hit the nail on the head. Flowers in my hair. Magic secrets in my eyes. This quote is based off a quote from “The God of Small Things” by Arundhati Roy, “She wore flowers in her hair and carried magic secrets in her eyes.” I came to interpret that quote as a sense of self-worth and confidence. I think those are the magic secrets to me. A flower blossoms for its own joy. This quote, more than anything, I think fits this theme so perfectly. Nothing speaks truer about our own beauty than feeling it from within. No standards to meet. No expectations to follow. Just you. Being you. Confidently you. Genuinely and beautifully you. Part 2: And then when the idea expanded, I thought to myself what else could I use to portray my definition of beauty. Again, I wanted to try to pick a theme that was cohesive and maybe fit with Part 1′s theme of flowers. And so, I landed (pretty quickly) on butterflies as the second part. A little less technically difficult, I will tell you that much. Hahaha! I originally wanted to go crazy with this part of the persona project and have butterflies everywhere, but I decided to keep it simple. I must say though that it took me 5ever to find the right craft butterflies for this project. I didn’t want to stick to just one type of butterfly or one color scheme. I also was only going to use them for this one photo, so I didn’t want to spent too much money, and a lot of the craft whatevers--butterflies included--always come in these ridiculous bulk sets, like 50 pieces. And then there were the 10-piece sets, but most seemed a bit too plasticky or blocky and didn’t seem as realistic as I wanted them to. Then I finally landed on a perfect 5-piece set of craft butterflies and I was sold. Only took a few weeks for me to hunt it down after scouring the Internet. Haha! And then it came down to where I wanted to stick them. Hahaha! I thought about maybe going the hair route again... but that seemed a bit too precarious, as I wasn’t sure how that was gonna look, as I might as well bought a butterfly hairclip if that was what I wanted to do, and I wasn’t even sure my hair was strong enough or full enough to hold a craft butterfly hanging on to a bit of body glue unless I really got it in there... which didn’t seem like a good idea. Hahaha! And then I thought about maybe having one on my face. But then when considering the size of these butterflies, it seemed a little bit much and would’ve probably obscured a good portion of my face, and it didn’t really fit the aesthetic I was going for. So, again, I just kept it simple. I originally had intended to kind of keep the button-up shirt theme going, so my first set of photos, I actually wore a very, very pale red-colored button-up over this white tank top. And I had the two butterflies taped to my shirt, one on my collar and the other on my shoulder and glued the third one onto my finger. After that first set, I looked at the pictures and was like, “maybe we should show more skin.” Hahaha! After all, this second part was going to be planned for June, and so I wanted to maybe add a little more summer vibes to this one. And so off the button-up shirt went. I glued the butterflies straight onto the neck and shoulder. And then I really got into the groove! I was really feelin’ this look, I gotta tell you. From the second I took the first shot with this look, I was digging it! I usually only narrow down my shots to maybe 2-3 final photos, if I’m lucky. But with this one, I got 16 photos that I really liked. I think that might be a record. Haha! Butterflies symbolize a lot of things, and it’s different from each person to the next. But for me, it symbolizes the beauty in change. And not just the final stage, but all of the stages in between as well. For a while, I had been focused on goals and results, and you know, often, it seems like I’m not reaching them quick enough. And then I realize I’m getting trapped in that mindset because I’m comparing my progress with that of other people. And, as per this theme of individualized and unique beauty, that wasn’t the right mindset for me to have. There’s no need to conform to a “standard” or a “timeline.” Everyone gets to where they want to get through hard work and at their own pace and on their own time. And I’ve found that over the years, the changes that I’ve gone through have perhaps been the most beautiful part of it all. I borrowed a quote from Maya Angelou for this project that goes like this: We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. I think that quote really fit this part of my persona project so perfectly. It portrays often the unknown and unseen and strenuous work that many of us undergo to be who we are today. Change is a beautiful thing. Change is beauty. And beauty is change. A butterfly didn’t become a butterfly overnight. Part 3: I probably had to rack my brain around what the hell I wanted the third part of this persona project’s theme to be. I could have very well left at two and not done a third part at all and no one would even care. Haha! But I ain’t doing this for nobody else but me, so blame it on my OCD or whatever, but there was no way I could let it rest at just two parts. It was either one or three, not two. Hahaha! I know, I have a problem. But oh well! I originally decided on some sort of plant/leaf type of theme. I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do with that theme though. Make another hairpiece thing? Maybe. Maybe some sort of neck thing? Perhaps. A crown? I hadn’t done that, yet. Stick leaves on different parts of my body or clothes looked weird in my head. I felt pretty indecisive about the plants/leaves thing. It didn’t seem like it was gonna work, and I wasn’t really sold on how I could find my definition of beauty from making myself look like a tree--hahaha!--so I decided to table it and explore other options. I thought about maybe doing something with paint and colors. But then I’ve already done that for not one, but two projects, both parts of my Out persona project. (See? I can stick to two parts... but watch me make a third part a few years down the line when I celebrate like 10 years since coming out, hahaha!) Then I thought, maybe something with like crystals? pearls? jewels and gems? All these K-Pop groups seem to make them work, why can’t I? ...hahaha! I quickly decided against it, because that seemed a bit extra and too flashy for me, which wasn’t really what I wanted to portray as my own definition of beauty. Not to mention I couldn’t even fathom the amount of work it would take to coordinate putting those things on my hair/face/arms/wherever and make it look good. So I scrapped that idea fairly quickly. And then I guess the shiny jewelry stuff kinda led me to considering a crown as the theme for this third part of my persona project. Simple, yet it could make a statement. I felt like that was kinda slam dunk and felt kinda stupid for not thinking of it first. Leaves?! The hell was I thinking? Hahaha! A crown was a perfect theme to portray my definition of beauty. ...a testament to really how I’ve never considered myself as “beautiful” is really just how much I struggled to marinate on this idea. At first, I thought the crown was gonna be a little bit too extra as well. I found this quote by Friedrich Schiller about humility that really fit the theme I was going for so perfectly. And it actually kinda inspired the development of this project, ‘cause y’all best believe I was dead-ass about to try and tie this photo and theme to being a beauty queen. Hahaha! I’m kidding. Modest humility is beauty’s crown. I think that quote was a slam dunk, because that is hands-down probably the main portion of my definition of beauty: being humble. I’ve gone beyond the era of low self-esteem and self-deprecating lack of confidence (mostly, haha!), and from those ashes rose this “quiet confidence” that I became known for. And I think that’s probably one of the truest definitions of beauty for me. As I was trying to compose this photo concept, I scoured the Internet for other quotes that may lead me in a certain direction. I mean, standing in front of a white wall wearing a crown seemed simple enough... but in my head, it didn’t seem to make enough of a statement for me. I will not lie, even after I had decided the crown was the theme, it was still pretty difficult to put a concept together. And I think part of that reason was because wearing something dignified like a crown wasn’t really something I’d ever imagined fit my persona. I’d been reading the Percy Jackson series for the past several months, and when I got to the part about the Hunters of Artemis, one of the characters wore a circlet. I had originally decided on a king’s crown for this photo concept. But then the idea of wearing maybe a circlet may have fit better. But then almost immediately after, the thought struck me. Why not a laurel wreath as my crown?! I guess the leaf theme made a comeback. Hahaha! The laurel wreath has a lot of connotations, many pertaining to Ancient Greece and Rome, which, if you’ve read any of the Percy Jackson books, you’ll know that’s what it’s all about. And you know, the laurel wreath really symbolized the status of an emperor, and I am the furthest from that. But then the more I delved into the idea, the more it kinda became cohesive in a way that I really couldn’t have predicted. Late one night while I was continuing to develop this project, I had landed (pretty much accidentally) on a quote by Prince Philip: Who we are is not what we wear or what glitters. It’s the spirit that defines us. And thus spawned the complete idea for this third part of my persona project on beauty. A laurel wreath for a crown and some glitter on my face, because why not, right? It was the first time I was gonna put some glitter on my face (ever, I think), so that took a little bit of pondering as well to see how that was gonna work. I actually looked up a couple of YouTube videos to see how all the peeps out there do it and found a relatively inexpensive and small bottle of glitter that I could easily paint onto my face and a little bit into my hair. That was hilarious, only because of the onslaught that would come after of me getting it off my face and out of my hair but it still lingering for days somehow. Hahaha! 'Tis the nature of glitter. And I really wanted still try to keep the concept simple, as that seemed to be what made all three parts fit together. So I didn’t want to be too flashy with the crown or the glitter, or even what shirt I was gonna wear. So I went with a pretty monochrome theme with the silver laurel wreath, the silver glitter, and the grey shirt. And I tried my best to portray that “quiet confidence” that I think really embodies my definition of beauty, because it’s really not the crown on my head or the glitter on my face that I think makes me beautiful, but it’s the humility beneath that can carry those things so effortlessly and not only makes the wearer beautiful but also everything else surrounding them just as beautiful. A crown isn’t the measure of our worth but the measure of our continued willingness to be worthy. And there y’all have it! Haha! An excessively and unnecessarily detailed post about this most recent persona project of mine. Perhaps, in the most remote of sense, this may inspire any passersby to discover their own unique definitions of beauty and maybe express them in their own unique and creative ways. I actually had a lot of fun with this one and really enjoyed putting it together. And always, one of my favorite parts, even above the final photos, is the whole process of putting these concepts together. The evolution and development of artistic ideas has always been something that really drove my creativity forward. I feel like with each new idea I have, it really colors my persona in a new way that I never considered, and that’s really the whole point behind these persona projects I’ve done over the years. And this has been a pretty cool and quite fun exercise in letting my confidence show a little more in pictures. :] 🌸 🦋 👑

#life of tuan #photography #persona project #beauty #flower #butterfly #crown #confidence #changes #humility

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torpbrandstrup8 · 2 years

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may-fanfic · 3 years

Text

When All Else Fails, Kiss Me

summary: the powers you have are quite similar to Wanda’s and an unbreakable bond is formed between the two of you. After months of pining, Tony’s hatches up a plan to make the two of you official.

warnings: none

word count: 2,150

masterlist

((feel free to send in any request you may have 💕))

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You moved through the warehouse, oblivious to the girl who silently moved behind you. It had been easy for wanda to get into people's heads, so she hadn't been concerned when she made herself known to you. You had been quick to spin around at the sound of her voice. wanda felt her breath get caught in the base of her throat. She had never seen someone so beautiful. Wanda almost forgot what she had been in the warehouse for, then it dawned on her, and that's when her eyes grew red.

She had tried a million times before to get into your head and manipulate your thoughts, but she had no way in for some reason. She had been so stunned that she gasped lightly, backing away from you, watching as your own eyes began to glow a soft blue. "don't worry, I won't hurt you." you had been there to catch the girl and turn her into the avengers, you knew they wouldn't hurt her, but you could see the fear in the girl's eyes.

It made you rethink your decision to turn the girl in. "wanda, I need you to trust me." your eyes had been a calming blue that made her feel secure. She wanted everything to trust you, but you had been one of them, and she knew better than ever to get involved with someone from stark industries.

"we're not bad people, wanda." she had rocked her jaw side to side, finally feeling the way everyone else felt when she would read their minds. She hadn't liked it. "I just want you to be safe." in all honesty, you hadn't been lying, but you also knew that you needed wanda in your team. she had been unstoppable, and if ultra got her, you'd be quickly compromised, and ultra would win.

your earpiece boomed with steve's voice, and you quickly replied. "I hadn't seen wanda." your eyes turned your standard shade before you met her gaze again. "think about what I said." and with that, you turned and left the young witch. She had been stunned and felt glued to her place before running off in the other direction.

-----

It hadn't taken long for Pietro and Wanda to join the Avengers, and while she had been relieved to finally be able to settle down after what felt like her whole life of fighting, she could never shake her first incident with you. You had been so kind, gentle with her, and she felt like it had been up to her to repay you somehow.

She always wished she could meet you under other circumstances. The longer wanda knew you, the more stable she felt. Your friendliness had not just been a façade to make the girl trust you, you had genuinely just been the most loving person she had ever met, and Wanda had been more than grateful that she had a friend despite her need for more.

It had been movie night which turned into some tradition with Wanda and Pietro. While getting to know them, they shared that movie night with their parents had become a ritual, and it had been their fondest memories right up until their last one. You had felt like it was your responsibility to make it up to them and continue it with the twins, still, as the time when on Pietro realized that those movie nights had turned into something else for you and wanda. As much as he enjoyed the time spent with his sister and best friend, he wanted to give his sister the space to make a move.

You were cuddling up to Wanda under the blanket. Your head resting softly against her shoulder as her favorite sitcom played on the big screen. She was grinning and giggling at every joke, and you found it endearing. She had always been the happiest during these moments. You didn't understand her attraction to these cheesy sitcoms. Still, whenever she suggested one, you happily obeyed. "this is my favorite part." she quietly spoke through her smile. You perked up, placing your full attention on the screen, chuckling along with her when the husband fell down the stairs but stood right back up.

You settled back onto her shoulder when the scene was over, and wanda found yourself smiling down at you.

It had been a while since wanda found herself truly happy; it was almost too good to be true. She wanted to understand you completely; she wanted to know you inside out. She wanted to know what you thought about her, exactly how you felt, and she knew the only way she could get a clear reading of that was if you let her in. Her hand came up to rest against your head, caressing your locks gently before her lips parted to asked the question.

"can I use my powers on you?" her cheeks had been a tint of pink as her hand moved from your head to your shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. You adjust yourself to look at wanda thoroughly, your gaze gentle and your smile soft. The question itself had been intimate, she was asking for her way in, into somewhere sacred and only yours, and you knew once she had listened to everything for herself, things would change, but it had been a change you were willing to go through for her.

You let a soft giggle escape your lips as your cheeks grew a light pink to match her own, your smile erupted butterflies into that pit of her stomach, and she couldn't help but match your smile. "of course, maxi." you uttered out teasingly.

You sat up straight, facing the girl with a cheeky grin, and despite her nervousness, she still reached forward, her hand coming to rest softly against your cheek, stroking your skin tenderly.

"you can't hurt me," you whispered, noticing the hesitation in her eyes, reaching up to grab the hand placed on your cheek before guiding it to your forehead. she let out a gentle breath. You watched as her eyes turned the shade of red before you fluttered your eyes shut, taking in every way that the girl felt. It hadn't taken long before wanda finished, a gentle smile placed on her lips as she gazed at you. Everything she needed to know, she now knew. She had felt a sense of comfort and completion.

Wanda's gaze snapped from you to the tv, grinning lightly at the scene that played out, pointing at the screen, and eagerly telling you to watch it. You didn't need to use your magic to concur how wanda felt for you, so you had been content, moving back to your previous position leaning against her shoulder once again, watching the silly sitcom again.

------

Wanda came off as reversed to everyone else, but she seemed to be a different person with you. It made it clear for her teammates that she had liked you. It didn't sit right with them that the both of you had been denying your feelings for so long, so they took it upon themselves to hatch up a plan to get the both of you alone together, long enough to confess.

The Avengers assured you the nature of your getaway to the cabin in the woods was for nothing more than a mission. However, when you arrived at the set location, they never picked up your calls for the details.

Letting out a gentle sigh, you made your way into the living room, where you found Wanda sitting. Her head was down as she looked at something in her hands. "anything yet?" you questioned, causing her gaze to snap up to you. "I don't think we'll be hearing for them," she answered, extending her arm out to hand you a piece of paper.

Your eyebrows fluttered together as you took extensive steps to reach out for the paper. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at the written note in hand. 'Enjoy your private getaway, Sincerely, The Avengers.'

Of course, they would do something like this, especially Tony, who had an act for fixing people up. "This is absurd," you commented, setting the paper aside on the coffee table. Wanda shrugged as she took in the state of you. you had been wearing the nightclothes you packed, freshly out of the shower. "I don't know, it's kinda nice," she whispered, causing a gentle breath to fall past your lips, letting your shoulders drop in defeat.

"We should be back in the tower, prepping for the mission, maxi." Wanda stood up from her seat, a smile playing its way onto her lips. "What is it? You don't want to be alone with me?" she teased playfully, a fake pout tugging at her lips as she neared you.

"You know that's not it," you whispered, arms wrapping around your body to find some comfort. "Then, let's just relax." Wanda urged, smiling down at you. Wanda and yourself have been working your ass to the bone for the job, and you knew that some relaxation would do you good. Besides, there wasn't anyone else in the world you'd enjoy wining down with more.

Both you and wanda had some unresolved feelings towards each other, and even after the night she looked into your brain, you'd never talk about it with her.

----- You and Wanda had been full of giggles after cracking open a bottle of wine you found in the cabin. The two of you sat in the living room, just enjoying each other's company before you called it a night. You had never stood up so late, considering you had set training times with Nat.

You have never seen Wanda so drunk before, and it had been amusing, to say the less. You managed to drink more than Wanda, but yet the girl seemed more intoxicated than ever. The moment had been pleasant, and if you were honest, you never wanted it to end.

"You were right. This is nice," you confessed, smiling down at your wine glass. Wanda hummed in agreement, quickly growing serious for a moment causing your eyes to snap up to Wanda. "you know..." wanda whispered out, her eyes meeting yours. Your eyebrows rose in question, waiting for the girl to continue.

"Tony told me all about his plan to get us out of the compound," she confessed after some time. You watched as her fingers moved around the brim of her glass, and you noticed the way her cheeks turned a bright pink color. "Oh," you uttered out, surprised that Wanda had something to do with this poorly constructed plan.

"Tony knew you wouldn't have approved," she spoke shyly, a frown forming on her lips. "why didn't you tell me?" it wasn't that big of a deal; you didn't mind much in hindsight. She shrugged lightly, her eyes snapping away from yours with embarrassment. "I didn't want you to say no."

"Tony is Tony, Maxi... I would've said yes to you." you'd never say no to wanda, in all honesty. The word didn't exist in your vocabulary when it came to her. You'd do anything she'd ask of you. That's how you knew you were completely and utterly in love with Wanda.

Wanda just wanted you to herself for some time. That's why she even agreed to Tony's plan. You were always so occupied with training and other things that Wanda hardly got the time to relax with you. She set down her glass on the coffee table, giving you all her attention.

"I just wanted alone time." her words made a small smile form on the corners of your lips. "why?" you questioned softly, wanting to force it out of her that she was just as in love with you as you were her. She had never actually said it, and as patient as you tried to be, you could only take it for so much longer.

She let out a sigh, her eyes burning into yours. "You know why," she replied, your eyes narrowed at hers, a grin finding its way onto your lips.

"Say it." you urged, inching dangerously closer to her until you hardly had space left. You could feel her breath fan out over your face as she tried to find the right words to say to you. When she felt as words wouldn't have done her feelings justice, she leaned forward until her lips collapsed with yours. The kiss was short and sweet, but it still made up for all the times she hadn't said enough.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" the girl childishly uttered out after the initial shock of the kiss worn off. a soft giggle escaped your lips as you nodded, causing a goofy smile to form on wanda’s lips before she leaned in to grace you with another kiss.

You made a mental note to thank Tony for his genius plan.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wandavision #wanda #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff fanfiction #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x you #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch x y/n #scarlet witch marvel #marvel #avengers #the avengers

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violettelueur · 3 years

Text

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + NANAMI KENTO || S/O THAT HAS A CURVY FIGURE

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + nanami kento from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 7 january

↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon

↳ request : Your blog is my favorite on tumblr♡ You have a great talent, and really your writing has helped me to go through some tough times. I can only say, Thank you so much!!! If its okay, can I make a request please? Can I have Gojo, Nanami and Megumi with a curvy fem! S/o? Oh but if you feel unconfortable writing this, its totally fine! You dont have to write it, dont worry! Is just that I have that type of body and I have always been really insecure about it. Thank you♡ You really are the best!!

↳ previous work related : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + ryomen sukuna || with a chubby s/o

↳ barista’s notes : hi there! thank you so much for loving my blog and it makes my heart melt that i am your favourite ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ and i also bet you are a wonderful and beautiful person in real life since what i like to go by when i get insecure is by saying ‘if I don't fit into this generation's beauty standard, I will have to become a different standard’ and that was said by Hwasa from MAMAMOO ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ other than that,i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you’re welcome come again anytime soon!

To be completely honest, Mr Fushiguro Megumi doesn’t really care about how your body looks and this is because he really doesn’t focus on that aspect like Itadori - the classic ‘tall girls with a big butt’.....I’m 5’4 with an Oikawa flatbread.

Fushiguro is really observant and he does quickly notice when you are feeling insecure about yourself and is lowkey confused about why you are self-conscious.

He isn’t the type to question why you are insecure but he will compliment you the moment he notices you are feeling down about yourself.

For example, if you look yourself into the mirror with your hands outlining your body continuously - I’ll admit, I do that a lot - he would wrap his arms around your waist and just look at you fondly in the mirror.

“You look really cute today, the outfit really suits you a lot,” and, of course, there will be a light blush upon his face because our baby is a shy one - he isn’t one to openly express what he is thinking but anything for you.

If Fushiguro is feeling more confident, he would place a light kiss on your cheek to seal his words before resting his chin on your shoulder to admire you again in the mirror - now it is your turn to blush.

He doesn’t mention this at all since he is shy about this thought of his, but he really loves your body and if you do something to change/hide it in some way, he will find a way to prevent it.

Like if you are eating less than you usually did, Fushiguro will bring home takeaway for you and will make an excuse by saying “me and Gojo ordered too much, so I brought some home for you” - and when you open the damn box, don’t be surprised to see your favourite food.

In conclusion, Fushiguro will be confused on why you are insecure about your curvy body, but will do anything to make you feel comfortable and beautiful - even if he does get embarrassed during the process because seeing you smile is worth it.

Just like Fushiguro Megumi, Mr Gojo Satoru does not care what your body looks like that all but will admit to you every day that he finds you sexy.

Gojo is really touchy with you - that’s just because it’s his language of love and it is in his nature to be - and has no shame in being so at all.

Whenever in public or private, this man will run his hands around your body with no shame and will focus on your curve quite a bit because once again, he finds you really sexy.

Compared to both Fushiguro and Nanami, I don’t think you even have the time to feel insecure because Gojo will continuously compliment you before you would even complain about yourself.

Gojo will cup your face with his palms before bombarding you with kisses to the point where you can’t even get a word in.

You *kiss* are *kiss* so *kiss* pretty *kiss* the *kiss* prettiest *kiss* of *kiss* them *kiss* all

And he will finish his little speech with a big smooch on your lips before picking you up off your feet and twirling you around in glee.

He will 100% show you off to everyone that comes by and meets the both of you but will tease them by reminding them that you are his and his only.

Gojo is the type that will hype you up when you go clothes shopping together - maybe he is also the type to pick out an outfit that will showcase your curves and will tell you that you look beautiful and in his words ‘hella attractive’.

Except him to bring extra clothes after his mission for you to try because ‘you don’t have enough outfits to show yourself off with’ - there will be some expensive brand within the mix of bags that he has brought for you because we call know Gojo Satoru has moneyyyyyyy

In conclusion, expect Gojo to be your hype man 24/7 because he knows that you are the most gorgeous person in the whole world.

And once again, just like both Fushiguro Megumi and Gojo Satoru. Nanami wouldn’t care about how your body looks but unlike Gojo, he wouldn’t verbally admit that he thinks you look really sexy.

Being the professional man he is, he would replace ‘sexy’ with ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’ and ‘charming’

Like Fushiguro, Nanami is quite observant - may be more observant than Fushiguro - and will instantly notice the second you confidence drops - quicker than Fushiguro would, those glasses ain’t just for exorcising curses you know.

Nanami will pull you into a warm embrace and rock you side to side to comfort you while telling you how beautiful you are to him and why you shouldn’t be ashamed of the way your body is.

I feel like he is also the type to play with your hair. So, while he was hugging you, he would stroke your hair to add extra comfort to the whole fluff scene that was going on between the both of you.

“You are so beautiful you know that right? So beautiful,” and he says this with such awe in his voice - even if it is somewhat out of character for him, he does truly think you are beautiful.

He will also gently smile at you to inform you that he is being truthful to you which leads you to smile back at him since you can’t help it - it is Nanami Kento after all.

Nanami will slyly run his hands over your body as a sign of his appreciation to you and to express how much he loves you and your body no matter what - also that is kinda sexy can’t lie, like who doesn’t want that?

Sometimes he would guide you to the mirror and tell you how beautiful your body is and how much he loves every inch of it.

Overall, he is a man of his word and will continuously remind you how much he finds you beautiful every day since he knows you are beautiful inside and out.

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

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silverwhiteraven · 4 years

Text

Beauty and Self-Expression in Wing Culture

So it's like 3am as I start to write this, and instead of sleeping at 2am I was thinking about the Wing AU I've been seeing for Miraculous Ladybug, courtesy of these three lovelies: @justaferal-bastard @thechatsmeow @tizzymcwizzy

[Warning: I got carried away and this goes from analysis, to idea, and then into a short fic-snippet.]

Actual Warning: It gets kinda, like, minor-angst about how the idea works?? More of a potential hurt/comfort at the end, IDK? But it has character growth! We stan Adrien rebellion against Gabriel! And healthy use of beauty products!

Anyways!!!

I love AUs like this that are saying 'What if Idea! What if apply Idea to World!' And then there's me, who likes to say 'Yes, yes! Now lets take World, and apply it to Idea.' And this is what happens.

So I was having some thoughts and things about Adrien and his wings, ya know? The wings are always tucked in close to back, always straight up, always prim and proper and stoic, as his Father and social economic class dictates. It puts people off at first because wings are one of the first things you see, one of the first things you subconsciously assess and judge and take into account. But to anyone who actually looks at the rest of him and stays around him and pays attention to him notice, there's a clear disconnect between how he holds his wings and how his actual personality is. It becomes obvious that his wings are like that from years of following a rule of conduct given to him, and a lot of birdie-see-birdie-do behavior of being around his own family and the Bourgeois.

Basically, wings, too, are subjected to self-images and self-expression. People of higher classes use their wings to show their class, power, and wealth; 'I don't fly' is basically 'I don't have to work for what I want'. Lower classes do that sort of thing less and less, and their wings are used more freely to express the self; not just free in actual movement, but with decorations as well, with things like feather-dyes, jewelry, and fake/decorative feathers and down to make themselves more unique and more like themselves.

Then I thought, well, what else? What about cultural beauty standards?

Well wing-types likely will be subjected to this, much like body-types. Already certain wings already have inherent uses. Falcon-like wings for speed, goose wings capable of long distances, hummingbird's for agility; all these physical traits that may or may not even match up with the main body that on its own also gets told has types meant for certain activities (tall people and basketball anybody?). Imagine all those wings that are colored and shaped like those of Birds of Paradise, though, swoon. But those weren't the thoughts I had.

My thought was the techniques in which beauty standards are met and maintained. Physical things that alter the looks. For the normal body, we have things like paddings, corsets, binders, and lifestyles, too, like dieting and working out. Extremes can even go to surgery.

So here was the specific thought I had about Adrien:

Wing-Binding.

Using unseen binds like netting, straps, or even cords, hidden underneath the feathers and down, to hold the wings in place and in whatever form is wanting to be presented.

Everyone should know that long-term and over-use of anything that restricts the body is unhealthy and can cause damage, even permanently. And I imagine Adrien has been modelling since he was small, too, so he would have been subjectes to it since before he even knew what it was, what it could do. Before he could comprehend what was happening and give consent to it.

Shealtered and with all his social and media intake controlled, he would have no clue that these are things he should be allowed to not do. And, sorry to anyone who liked the picture-perfect Mother Image Adrien paints of Emilie, but just like with him not being allowed to go to school or socialize outside of Chloé, or having to work a job and take unwanted extracurricular lessons and activities, Mama Agreste, at the very least, enabled Gabriel to doing something such as Wing-Binding to their unconsenting amd still-growing child.

Given! It isn't absolute in how bad it is, he can remove them for physical activities like P.E. and Fencing, or when photo shoots are doing Wing-Fashion, and when he's at home, too, but still, all that time in public having to use them because his Father says so sucks, a lot.

And again, the damage it could cause, both to his wings as they grow, not being allowed to stretch and strengthen, but also to the feathers, having to grow past and rub and push against what's holding them or sitting below.

It's kinda heartbreaking thinking how lovely he looks but just how much getting to that pleasing image might have just crippled him.

And then I thought about Chat Noir.

Chat, with wings free to move as he pleases, free to droop and drag, free to stretch and feel the wind, free to puff up and shield another.

And when he stretches those wings, be they magically dyed a new color or made bigger, they now have an emphasis on the burden they bear outside of the magic.

The feathers once unseen when tucked are now out and bare, spread out as he makes himself look bigger while he hisses and intimidates an Akuma. Everyone can see how the edges of his feathers are jagged and don't smooth out, some of the shafts are crooked or even broke, and as he beats his wings, they swear some will simply come out, from the quil and all, and disintegrate before they even touch the ground.

Ladybug asks him about it, and he grins and shrugs, "Probably a stylistic choice on my Kwami's part; they aren't actually that bad when I'm out of the suit."

"Mon gryffon," she calls his attention to her with one of her nicknames, a serious and sad look in her eyes. "Not that bad is still bad. Why are they like that?"

"Bindings kinda chaff sometimes, I think the suit just makes it look really bad," he answers, but he doesn't understand, why is she looking at him like that? A little bit of it clicks. "I thought most did it?"

She shakes her head, spreading her own, beautiful wings to him, and he can't help but reach out and run his claws gently through them. Her's don't show the signs of the Wing-Bindings his do. His head snaps to look down to the Parisians on the streets and those above them in the air, looking for signs of his own condition in the open wings. His heart beats hard and it almost hurts as another piece clicks.

"No, Chat Noir," Ladybug answers softly, "that isn't normal... Whoever makes you use those, they shouldn't have. No one still growing their wings should ever use those, ever."

He nods in understanding. His grin, long gone, comes back as he whipes away the tears that has built and he holds out a hand to his partner. "Care for one last fly before we part ways? I think I still need the practice." Especially since I've never flown outside of the suit, and I don't think I'll get a chance to yet, either, goes left unsaid.

But sometimes realizations like this are a part of the recovery. Chat Noir flies with his Lady, and thinks about how Adrien is going to tell his Father he won't wear the Wing-Bindings again, or at least about how to hide the future fact that he got rid of them all so that he can't anyways. He thinks about how he's going to practice flying, maybe ask Marinette for tips.

Chat Noir, the Gryffon of Paris, adds a new determination for the future, alongside winning Ladybug's heart and defeating Hawkmoth: Let his wings be free, and heal, because he'll be damned if he lets Chat Noir be the only time he ever flies, and, once his role as the Black Cat is over, with no suit to aid him, he will simply burn his Father's company to the ground if he never gets to fly again because of what Gabriel had done.

Anyways!! That was the thoughts I was having, it's 4:30am and I hope y'all really like, uh, whatever this is!!!!

#ml wing au #wing au #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #chat noir #willowbendt

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manggaetteokkie · 4 years

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Why 2HA adaptation might not be as bad as we think...

Okay so BL novel “The Husky and His White Cat Shizun” (chinese title: “二哈和他的白猫师尊”) aka 2HA is getting a live adaption which will be called “Immortality” (“皓衣行”). I know that usually, fans of original works are less than excited about this kinds of news and with good reasons. The issue is that those who buy the IP rights to a novel simply see its popularity and think that they can profit off of it without actually trying to understand the reason behind its popularity. Too often, BL fans see themselves forced to endure any of the following: 1) sex change of one of the male leads, 2) creation of a random female love interest, 3) turning a happy end into a bad end, 4) adding a bunch of scenes unrelated to our main pair that ends up dragging the series, 5) turning romance into brotherly affection... the list goes on and on. Sometimes, companies think that as long as they film any two guys together and sell a bit of physical touching here and there, fans will jump on it like rabid dogs which... is kinda stupid because, y’know, we have eyes (and standards) too.

So obviously, with the unprecedented popularity that came with the release of The Untamed, even more producers are starting to see the potential of danmei (BL) novels and with it came an onslaught of IP rights being bought and adapted. The list is pretty extensive, with some big names that I’m sure anyone who’s even slightly in the Chinese BL novel community has heard of before. Of course, included in that list, with the casting for the leads done and filming underway, is 2HA.

Quick overview of the story for those of you that don’t know: the story is set in the POV of the “gong” (top), a character named Mo Ran (also known as Mo Weiyu) who is the disciple of Chu Wanning, the “shou” (bottom) of our story. In his original life, Mo Ran had become the Emperor of the cultivation world through slaughter and tyranny, with the only one ever coming close to stopping him being his shizun, Chu Wanning, who eventually lost his life trying to stop him. After achieving the top by committing pretty much all crimes and sins known to men, weary and tired, Mo Ran decides to take his own life and ends it all. Unexpectedly, instead of dying and going to Hell, he transmigrated to the first year he became a disciple. As a thirty-something man in the body of a teen, he decides to do things right this time around and save the one he couldn’t save the first time around. As he goes through life a second time, truth after truths reveal themselves, with the biggest surprise being that the Shizun he hated so much in his previous life, and who Mo Ran thought hated/scorned him, actually turned out to be protecting him the entire time.

Mo Ran, in his past life, was powerful, cruel, merciless and arrogant. There was nothing he could not obtain and he knew it. He was cynical, had a very jaded view of the world and was kind of unstable (lots of mood swings and temper tantrums). After his rebirth, he still maintained some of the arrogance and cynicism, but is more mischievous, confident and cheeky. He is very much like a husky, looks kind of scary and big, but can be extremely loyal to the ones he recognizes and can be a bit dumb sometimes. Chu Wanning on the other hand, is an unflappable person with a frost-like exterior, but a heart of gold. Basically, he cares a lot but it’s easier for him to look like he doesn’t than to voice his feelings. He gets embarrassed easily and covers his embarrassment using anger. He is extremely strong, likes peace and quiet, and always abides by the rules.

Their relationship is kind of complicated. Initially, Mo Ran was in love with a fellow disciple called Shi Mei (despite the word meaning junior female disciple in Chinese, it’s actually the name of a male character). In the original timeline, Shi Mei died and that was the start of Mo Ran’s decline. After his rebirth, Mo Ran decides that he will do everything in his power to prevent Shi Mei from dying again. Don’t be mistaken though, Shi Mei is NOT the male lead. You’ll see as you read more that despite being in love with Shi Mei, Mo Ran is pretty obsessed with Chu Wanning because their relationship was kind of... complicated in the original timeline.

This is pretty much the premise for the story, but do be warned that it goes much deeper and darker than what you might expect (it’s rated R-18 for a reason). So why exactly am I writing all of this? To put it simply, I just kind of want to hype up the series and its adaptation a little, or at least, pique enough interest to give the live action adaptation a chance. Not gonna lie, when I heard 2HA was getting adapted, I was pretty skeptical because how. Mo Ran and Chu Wanning had a pretty physical relationship in the pre-rebirth timeline and that’s partially where the obsession that Mo Ran feels towards Chu Wanning stems from. There’s just basically a lot of unresolved sexual tension between them throughout the novel that I simply couldn’t see getting adapted. However, after thinking about it and reevaluating things from a low-expectations-standpoint, I think it might actually be possible to film something close enough to the original work. Here are some of the factors that influenced my opinion:

First, the series is set to air for 50 episodes (just like The Untamed). Why is the number of episodes important? Because it will determine how closely the adaptation will follow the original story and how much random stuff they can fit into it. Let’s take a step back and evaluate: 2HA’s novel has 311 chapters + extras while MDZS has 113 + extras. Obviously, people might have an issue with the number of episodes (”How are you going to air the same amount of episodes for a series that’s thrice as long??”) but I think it’s a good amount. Why? Because it pretty much guarantees a solid pacing that’ll keep the story moving forward without stagnating. I don’t think there is too much to worry in terms of too much source material being cut because quite a few chapters are R-18/romantic lining scenes that would not have gotten adapted anyways. Once those get deleted, I think 50 episodes is an acceptable amount.

Second, the entire production seems to be solid. The rights were actually bought by Tencent who, if you forgot, was also responsible for The Untamed. With prior success, I believe that they now have a pretty solid idea of how things should be run. Also, the CGI and world-design team is the same one as for Ashes of Love, which has me pretty stoked because while CG in chinese dramas has always been a hit or miss, Ashes of Love is definitely amongst some of the best I’ve seen (see below for examples). (P.S. there are also rumours that Lin Hai, the one responsible for The Untamed’s OST, might be working on 2HA but this is mere speculation at this point.) Overall, 2HA is looking to be like the most high-profile and expensive BL adaption yet.

Third and finally, the casting.

Holy.

Okay.

This is what has me the most hyped.

Let’s start with Shi Mei, who will be portrayed by actress Chen Yao (or Sebrina Chen).

I know I’ve said that despite the name, Shi Mei is a male. As it turns out, likely for censorship reasons, “Immortality” could not escape from the clutches of the dreaded sex change so they went ahead and turned him into a girl. While not ideal, in my opinion, it actually works out pretty nicely here. In this case, it means that Mo Ran is in love with a female character which would further draw censorship’s attention away from the fact that Mo Ran really has a thing for his beautiful shizun. While it would have been perfect if everything could go according to source material, the fact that it’s Shi Mei that went through a sex change actually works pretty favourably in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention the actress set to play Shi Mei has some good experience acting similar roles so overall, I say that I trust her.

Next, we have Chu Wanning who will be played by Luo Yunxi (or Leo Luo).

For this character, I have no worries whatsoever. If you’re unfamiliar with this actor, I highly recommend you give Ashes of Love a try. He played the 2nd lead and ugh. He’s so good at playing beautiful and elegant characters that are forced to undergo a ton of suffering and pain. Luo Yunxi used to be a professional ballet dancer so he moves with grace and his fight scenes are amazing to watch. Also, he has great control over his facial expressions. He’s able to act out characters that suffer a lot without making them seem weak or powerless. Even the way he cries can be considered both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Finally, we have Mo Ran who will be portrayed by Chen Feiyu (or Arthur Chen).

Mo Ran is an extremely complex character. From pre-rebirth’s insanity and arrogance, to post-rebirth’s hope and reservation, to post-revelation’s love and devotion, the actor’s going to have a lot on his plate. Originally, when I first googled him, I thought that while he’d manage to pull off post-rebirth teen!Mo Ran fairly well given how clean and refreshing his face looks, he’d have a harder time pulling off pre-rebirth’s arrogance, craziness and general “hardness”. However, after seeing some costume designs and makeup edits, I think that the boy might just pull it off. Also, while the actor is nowhere near as solid as Luo Yunxi is, it seems that he’s willing to put in extra time and effort (as seen by his Weibo post about how he’d been studying the source material) to make up for it. I think that with enough dedication, he might just be able to pull it off.

(Psssst! By the way, keeping this strictly between you and me, another reason why I’m such a fan of this pair is because of the height difference. I mean just look at this?? Their height difference is pretty much bang on with the novel height difference after Mo Ran grew past Chu Wanning’s height. Not to mention, don’t tell me you see this and don’t automatically picture a the big dorky puppy following his reserved and cool master around?)

So yeah, all of this just to say that it might be okay to kind of have some expectations for 2HA. I really want to keep my own expectations down as low as possible given the amount of times we’ve been burned but I want to remain hopeful that, with the success of The Untamed, it can pave the way for better and more faithful danmei adaptations, with 2HA being one of them.

#the husky and his white cat shizun #二哈和他的白猫师尊 #2ha #immortality #皓衣行 #haoyixing #luo yunxi #chen feiyu #chen yao #leo luo #arthur chen #sebrina chen #chu wanning #mo ran #mo weiyu #long post #talking with zb

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