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ginnsbaker · 2 months

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fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (1/?)

“I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand,” you say, hands retreating into the pockets of your white coat. Leigh takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what she knows will be a difficult conversation.

“I recently found out that my husband was cheating on me,” she says, her green eyes boring into yours. “With you.” Or the one where you fall in love with the widow of an ex-lover you never knew was married.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 6k+ | Warnings: None for now | A/N: I wrote about 30k words of the Succession Wanda but hit a wall in terms of plot progression. So that's on hold. Allow me to apologize with this two-shot. P.S. I've always wanted to write for Leigh, and this idea came out of nowhere. Loosely based on canon.

Masterlist | Next Part

Leigh wakes up in a bed that’s not hers for the first time in months, and the unfamiliar scent of freshly cut grass and cedarwood almost immediately overwhelms her senses, suffocating her with its cloying sweetness.

“Jules?” she croaks out, her mind clawing its way through the fog. When it lifts a few seconds later, Leigh realizes where she is and what she’s done.

And how she’s very, very naked underneath the sheets.

The person lying next to her in the bed starts to move. Right away, she knows it's not her sister, unless she's somehow caught up in a prank she doesn't find amusing at all. And so, she braces herself for her dead husband’s brother's voice to shatter the silence.

But it never comes. Instead, an arm drapes itself across her stomach, pulling her towards warmth. Leigh gets the sudden urge to vomit, except she skipped dinner and there isn’t anything to bring up. Last night, in a desperate attempt to fill the void left by Matt's absence, she had reached out to someone she shouldn't have. Someone Leigh didn’t even like to begin with. A knot tightens further in her stomach as she considers what her husband’s ghost would think.

Would he approve? Would he feel betrayed or disgusted as she does?

Careful not to disturb Danny, who still sleeps soundly beside her, Leigh slips out of bed with the grace of a cat. She gathers her clothes from the floor and dresses herself with heavy limbs, each garment reminding her of how Danny had taken them off her body.

As messed up as it sounds, Leigh can't help but draw parallels between him and Matt. They share the same blood, but there's not a single trait in Danny that triggers memories of Matt. With Danny, it's all about his own desires, his movements reflecting his wants. But with Matt, it's like he's always bending to Leigh’s will, submitting to her.

It tears Leigh’s heart anew.

As she finishes dressing, Leigh glances around searching for her watch. She second-guesses whether she even wore it last night, the disarray of her thoughts mirrored in the disarray of the room. Her eyes scan the bedside table, the floor, and the dresser, but there's no sign of the timepiece.

A sudden sound from Danny startles her, and she freezes in place. She doesn't believe she can prevent herself from literally bolting out of the house if he so much as breathes her name. She’s rooted in her spot however, waiting for his breathing to steady, her heart pounding in her ears. Only when she's certain he's in a deep slumber does she release a pent-up breath, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. In that moment, she mentally curses herself once more, acutely aware of the mess she's created, before tiptoeing towards the bedroom door and abandoning the search for her watch altogether.

As she considers her options, she entertains the idea of escaping town altogether. Maybe if she leaves, she can avoid Danny for the coming days, possibly forever. Leigh wonders if she ever made Matt feel this trapped, inadvertently pushing him to leave in the only way he knew she could never follow.

Several days after ignoring Danny’s calls and attempts to talk to her, he retaliates by telling her the most absurd thing about his brother.

He tells Leigh she wasn’t the only one. There had been two others in the last year.

And the last one, he fell for hard. Or at least that’s what Danny believes.

“I don’t believe you,” she says, her eyes beginning to sting a little. “If you think making me hate Matt would change my mind about us, then—”

“I’m not trying to manipulate you, Leigh,” Danny interrupts calmly, shaking his head. “I just believe you deserve to know the truth. Maybe it'll help you stop blaming yourself and move on.”

“It just seems a little too convenient that this 'truth' works in your favor to tarnish Matt's reputation, doesn't it?” Leigh points out with a humorless smile. She’s always thought the worst of Danny, but she never imagined he’d go as far as fabricating a story just to get her on his side.

“I understand your skepticism, I do. I couldn’t believe it at first either,” he says, his gaze dropping to the ground as if the transgression he’s confessing were his own, not Matt’s. “But think about it. Have you ever walked in on Matt just as he's ending a call? Noticed how he's suddenly started spending more time at work, consistently twice a week? And what about his sudden interest in going to the gym and being conscious about what he eats? These are all signs, Leigh.”

His words push her to think about it, even though she doesn't want to. Leigh starts to reflect on how Matt had stopped leaving his phone unattended during showers, how he had suddenly logged off his social media accounts from her laptop, or the noticeable enhancement of his physique—all juxtaposed against a lingering decrease in his appetite for intimacy with his wife.

“I…” Leigh hesitates, searching for a rebuttal but finding none. Then Danny gives her a look—one of pity and longing that makes her want to crawl out of her skin—and suddenly she finds herself vehemently denying all of it.

“I still don’t believe you,” she says, desperately clinging to the last shreds of the illusion she had crafted around her marriage.

Danny's expression remains unreadable and it drives her further up the wall. “Fine. Believe what you want, Leigh. I'm just trying to look out for you.”

Leigh's jaw tightens. “Regardless of what you say—whether it’s real or not—I know what I want, and it's not to be with you.”

He keeps up the stony facade, opting instead to pull a card out of his wallet and hand it to her. Leigh accepts the card, her fingers quivering, as a solitary tear finally breaks free and trails down her cheek.

Danny begins to reach out, intending to brush away her tear, but hesitates at the last moment, withdrawing his hand.

“See for yourself. Goodbye, Leigh.”

Just two days later, Leigh finds herself in front of the small animal clinic you own, situated a short walk away from Beautiful Beast—the fitness studio her mom owns and where she works.

Though the sun hangs low in the sky, she's been awake long before it began to rise. She waits for the receptionist to flip the sign from “Sorry, we’re closed” to “Come in, we’re open,” ignoring the curious glance directed her way when the receptionist notices she isn’t accompanied by a furry companion. With a determined smile on her lips, Leigh pushes open the door and steps into the clinic knowing she'll leave it with answers—whatever they might be.

The receptionist looks up from her computer, her expression shifting from curiosity to concern when she sees the look on Leigh's face. “Can I help you?”

Leigh clears her throat, trying to steady her voice. She tells her she’s looking for you, her words coming out in a rush.

The receptionist furrows her brow. “Do you have an appointment?”

Leigh shakes her head, blinking rapidly as she comes up with an excuse. “No, it's... it's urgent,” she stammers. “I need to speak to her right away.”

The receptionist appears mildly annoyed, but it doesn’t faze Leigh in the slightest. “I'll check if she's available. Please take a seat,” she says.

Leigh nods mutely and sinks into one of the chairs. She clasps her hands together tightly in her lap, trying to quell the rising tide of panic threatening to consume her. She imagines Matt’s ghost watching her this very second, frowning at her doubts about their relationship by coming here in the first place.

And what if she’s wrong? What if Matt wasn’t cheating on her after all? But Leigh had to come here to put the issue to rest. Matt would understand why she needs to do this. He always did.

A few moments later, the door behind the reception desk opens and the receptionist emerges from it, motioning for Leigh to enter.

Leigh finds you standing behind your desk, your back to her, arranging a stack of medical records on the shelf.

“Dr. Y/N?” Leigh calls out softly.

You turn around at the sound of her voice, and when she sees you for the first time, Leigh immediately knows.

Danny was telling the truth. It takes everything in her not to break down in front of a stranger her husband fell in love with.

You, however, don’t recognize the woman standing before you, thinking perhaps she's simply one of your past clients. You offer Leigh a contrite smile. “You wanted to see me? Miss…?”

“Leigh Shaw.”

The name doesn’t ring a bell either, but you keep a friendly smile on your face.

Leigh hesitates for a moment before continuing, her voice sounding fragile. “I need to talk to you about my husband,” she says, studying your clueless face. You're stunning and accomplished—a doctor and a businesswoman. You have a smile that could brighten even the darkest room.

Matt never stood a chance, did he?

“I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand,” you say, hands retreating into the pockets of your white coat.

Leigh takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what she knows will be a difficult conversation.

“I recently found out that my husband was cheating on me,” she says, her green eyes boring into yours. “With you.”

After leaving your clinic, Leigh heads straight to Matt’s grave, stomping angrily on the sparse sheet of grass that has begun to sprout from his resting place.

“You're such a fucking liar!” she spits out at the unsusceptible headstone, the heat of fury spreading through her veins and to every molecule in her body. The cold wind lashes through her hair as Leigh drops to her knees, feeling like the entire world is bearing down on her. She reaches out to touch the cold marble of the headstone, still seeking solace from the one who caused her so much hurt.

“Why, Matt?”

She knows there will be no answers—only the cold silence of death.

Leigh feels a surge of anger rise within her once more as she recalls the way you looked at her—the pain in your eyes when she revealed to you that Matt had died. What you two had was real, as real as what she had with him. She had been hoping it was at least just a fling, but alas, she couldn’t be further from her assumptions.

“I can't believe I ever loved you,” Leigh mutters bitterly. She wants to scream, to rage against the injustice of it all. But all she can do is clutch at the grass beneath her, her nails digging into the earth as if trying to anchor herself against the torrent of pain crippling her chest. Tears stream down her face as she finally collapses to the ground, assuming a fetal position, whispering, “I can't believe I still do.”

You continue to stare at the space that Leigh previously occupied for a good ten minutes, not moving an inch from where you stood—shocked, hurt, confused. Matt, the man you had been seeing, was dead. And not just dead, but married. Married to someone else, someone named Leigh Shaw, a name so important but he managed to hide from you for weeks.

Matt had never mentioned a wife, never wore a ring, never hinted at the existence of someone waiting for him at home. If he had, you would never have let him get as close to you like he did. You've always respected boundaries and families—and now you've discovered that unwittingly, you've destroyed one.

Leigh's departure was swift, just as soon as you confessed to having feelings for her husband and how Matt reciprocated those same feelings. Leigh, ruthless in her questioning, demanded to know if you had slept with Matt. You swore you never did, detailing how Matt abruptly ghosted you after your first kiss, leaving you with nothing but unanswered texts and missed calls.

You wanted so badly for Leigh to believe you, and you think she did. However, none of it mattered in the end. He cheated all the same. He hurt the woman he made a promise to love and stay faithful to.

Because of you.

You feel sickened by your own naivety; by the way you have allowed yourself to be fooled by his lies. And yet, amidst the anger and self-recrimination, there is a profound sense of loss. Despite the circumstances of your relationship, you had cared for Matt deeply. Maybe even loved him.

But how much of it was real? How much of it was not about him running from his problems with his wife and using you as a distraction? The ease with which he slipped out of your life suddenly fits into place.

While his passing deeply rattled you, it's now largely overshadowed by thoughts of his widow.

Leigh Shaw.

Earlier, even though you said sorry over and over, it felt like it wasn't enough, and you wanted to do more to make her feel better. What stopped you was the realization that you're likely the last person she would want comfort from. A sense of helplessness washes over you as you come to the conclusion that there's nothing you can do to undo the damage that's been done. Matt is gone, and Leigh's world has been shattered in ways you can't even begin to imagine.

Moving on from Matt is something you know you could do. He wasn’t the first person to break your heart, be it through deceit or demise. But the situation with Leigh is unfamiliar territory.

How do you fix this for her?

Will she even let you?

When Leigh tells Jules about Matt’s infidelity, her sister fixates on the detail that she slept with Danny. It’s not the response Leigh expected. She anticipated shock, and maybe even a bit of outrage on her behalf. But instead, Jules latches onto the one detail that seems to pale in comparison to the enormity of Matt's betrayal.

“But how could you?” Jules asks, her voice incredulous as she chews on a dumpling. “How could you sleep with Danny?”

Faced with her sister's disapproval, Leigh finds herself clamming up. “Are you kidding? I just told you that Matt was cheating on me, and your response is to judge me for hooking up with a single guy while I'm single?” Leigh retorts, hastily wiping her lips with a napkin.

Jules just shakes her head, putting down her chopsticks. “Leigh, I get it. Matt’s betrayal is awful, and you have every right to be angry. But the ‘single guy’ you hooked up with isn't just any guy, and you know it. You don't think it's weird? What would people think? That all this time, sleeping with your husband’s brother has always been an option?”

Leigh's eyes widen in shock, and for a moment, she's speechless. She hadn't—didn't want to entertain the idea of what sleeping with Danny would imply. She was chasing a feeling; any feeling that wasn’t emptiness. And with Danny, she did feel something, even if it was regret and shame. At least it proved she was still capable of feeling at all.

“It… just happened,” Leigh murmurs, rubbing her temples. Hollowness and migraines, she's almost forgotten.

“And? Is it going to be a ‘thing’?” Jules probes, eyebrows raised.

Leigh lifts her gaze, biting back a defensive retort. Instead she simply says, “Absolutely not.”

Jules seems satisfied with that, knocking back the rest of her beer. “Good.”

But as Jules moves on, Leigh’s left stewing in her own thoughts. Telling Jules felt like yelling into a void—exhausting and utterly pointless. Now she’s dreading the thought of breaking the news to Drew. If Jules’ reaction was any indication, she’s in for another round of disappointment.

Being a young widow already sets her apart, but nothing makes her feel more alone than her family's inability to truly grasp her grief. She guesses she's been feeling alone for years, long before Matt came into her life and subsequently left it.

Jules, catching the tail end of Leigh's distant look, leans in and asks, “So, what's the plan now? You still going to that grief counseling group? Danny's been showing up there, right?”

Leigh's gaze sharpens, a bit taken aback by the sudden shift back to practicalities. “Are you asking about my plans with Danny? Because I already told you, that's over. I'm never seeing him again.”

Jules raises her hands in a placating gesture, mindful that one wrong move could tip Leigh over the edge for good. “Not really, no. I'm asking if you're still keen on processing your grief. Now that it turns out Matt was... well, a snake.”

Jules calling Matt a snake doesn't sit well with Leigh even with his cheating coming to light. But she supposes it's Jules' way of being on her side every once in a while. It's a clumsy attempt, but an attempt nonetheless.

“Yeah, I'm still going,” Leigh finally says, her gaze dropping to her lap before meeting Jules' eyes again. “Not for Danny, not for anyone else, but for me. Turns out, finding out your rotting husband was living a double life does a number on you. Who knew, right?”

Jules cracks a small, rueful smile at that and says, “Who knew indeed.”

Leigh thinks back to the time when she believed she knew Matt inside and out, a belief so deeply ingrained it felt like a cornerstone of her identity as his wife. She prided herself on their connection, convinced that they shared everything—every thought, every fear, every dream. It was a pride rooted in the belief that she knew him better than anyone else could, and he, her, in the same intimate manner.

It was the kind of recognition that’s not only about knowing his favorite color or the way he took his coffee. It’s deeper and more layered. She knew the exact tone of voice he'd use when he was about to apologize, the look in his eyes when he was holding back tears, the subtle shift in his posture when he was trying to be braver than he felt. And she thought he knew her just as intricately—the silent language of her sighs, the meaning behind her quietest smiles, the small, everyday details that they believed only they could understand about each other.

“It's hard, you know? Feeling like you're mourning someone who never really existed,” Leigh mumbles after a long pause.

“Yeah, I can't even imagine,” Jules responds, reaching across the table to give Leigh's hand a brief squeeze. “But I'm here, okay? Even if I don't always get it right.”

Jules, Drew, Danny, her mom—all of them—rarely get it right. It has always been Matt.

He has always been all she has and needed.

Even if Leigh wasn't aware that she was probably just getting his scraps.

Maybe it was me, Leigh keeps thinking over the next several days. Maybe I pushed him to it.

It doesn’t help that there’s a new member who has also been widowed, and she’s sharing about her late husband who had quite a number of mistresses throughout their eighteen years of marriage.

Leigh listens, her fingers twisted together in her lap, as the woman talks about the signs she missed, the lies she believed.

“I just keep thinking,” the woman's voice breaks, “if I'd been more attentive, more... I don't know, less demanding, maybe things would've been different.”

Maybe it was me, Leigh keeps screaming inside. Maybe I pushed him to it.

It took Leigh a long time to return to the apartment she shared with Matt after his passing.

Mostly, it's because Leigh found it difficult to confront the scattered remnants of him that would remain untouched in his absence. No longer would he be picking up his favorite shirt or completing another page of his crossword puzzle book. Yet, these belongings would remain his, just as Leigh felt she still belonged to him.

So it’s ironic that now, surrounded by the same belongings in her bedroom at her mother’s home, she's being overwhelmed by the impulse to turn them all into ashes. In a sudden frenzy, Leigh grabs a box and begins to throw everything inside. The sound of her ragged breathing fills the room, only matched by the soft thuds of objects landing in the cardboard.

“Stupid fucking toys!” she shouts, tossing a figurine with more force than necessary.

“And this shirt—what were you thinking?” She grabs a garishly patterned fabric, shaking it at the empty air as if expecting an answer.

Her voice cracks, “You're not even here, and you're driving me crazy!”

As Leigh's wrath burns through the remnants of Matt’s life, her thoughts take a dark turn. The things he owned, the pieces of his life flying from her hand—it all leads her back to the one person who had a piece of him, a piece that was never hers.

The thought of your face, the one that belonged to him too at one point, flashes in her mind, and she's on the edge of losing all control.

If only Leigh could throw you into the box too.

Finally, she finds the book he gave her for her last birthday, the one she never read, and for a moment, her movements pause. Then, with a cry of anguish, she tosses it in as well. When the box is full, she kicks it. Once, twice, thrice—each kick releasing a burst of pent-up fury until she's gasping for breath.

A knock at the door startles her. It's soft but persistent, making it obvious that whoever is outside has heard the commotion in her room. “Leigh, honey, are you done in there?” Amy's voice seeps through the wood.

Leigh wipes at her eyes. “Almost. I, uh… just give me a minute,” she calls back. She’s not done—not really. But she’ll probably set the house on fire if she doesn’t stop here.

Pushing herself up, Leigh opens the door. She knows the sight she presents isn't pretty—eyes swollen red, nose a mess, and those dark circles. But her mom has seen this look more times than either would care to count.

“You okay?” her mom asks, though the answer's written all over Leigh's face.

Leigh shakes her head, no energy to pretend.

“Want some breakfast?”

Again, “No,” slips out.

Then, “Need a ride to the studio?” her mom tries again.

“Yes,” Leigh finds herself saying, clinging to the offer like a lifeline, a small acknowledgment that life, somehow, must go on.

The following day, Leigh looks at the box, then at everything around her. She mutters, “Screw this,” and starts pulling everything out of the box, putting it all back where it came from.

Leigh's back at running, not because she loves it, but because the sun insists on poking her awake before the rest of the world stirs. It's an old hobby, dusted off to fill the gaping mornings before her first yoga class.

It’s easy to do because she realizes she’s good at it. Leigh’s only been at it for just a couple of weeks and already she's feeling fitter, faster. She likes the pain too, not being aware before that there are different kinds of pain, and some of them do feel good—addicting even.

Mid-thought, her routine jog takes a wild left turn: stranded in the middle of the bustling traffic is a French Bulldog, looking decidedly out of place. Ignoring the honks and the near misses, Leigh bolts across the street. It's a bit of a mad dash, dodging cars that are swerving and braking hard. She scoops him up in her arms and doesn’t stop to think about the close calls.

It hits her then—she's surprised at her own gutsiness, not even pausing to think that she could've been clipped by a car not paying attention. Maybe all this time spent wrestling with thoughts of death has brought her to a strange peace with it and is no longer scared of it. It's like she's danced with death so much, it's just another shadow she passes by—not something that paralyzes her in place anymore.

Leigh’s not sure if being this fearless is actually a good thing though.

After cooling her heels on the sidewalk for half an hour, with no owner in sight, she shrugs and decides he’s coming home with her.

Jules gives her a scrutinizing look the moment she walks in. “What, you went out for a run and decided to get a dog?”

“Rescue mission,” Leigh shoots back, setting the dog down. “Found him in the middle of Second Street. Seems he’s lost.”

Jules doesn't miss a beat, heading straight for the newcomer. She kneels, her hands gently petting the dog, her eyes softening in a way that Leigh rarely sees. The dog, clearly pleased with the attention, wags its tail vigorously. Her eyes are practically giving her away, so it sounds almost funny when she looks up at Leigh and says, “Just don't get too attached, okay?”

“I won’t, which is why I named him Visitor. It’s temporary,” Leigh says with a smile, looking very proud of the name she came up with.

Jules chuckles, standing up and brushing off her knees. “Nerd. Matt would've gotten a kick out of that.”

The room just freezes at the mention of his name. Talking about Matt is like walking into a glass door you didn't see.

Jules tries to backpedal, “Hey, sorry, I—” But Leigh's quick to brush it off with a shrug.

“Don't worry about it. Let's just figure out where Visitor here belongs, okay?”

As they refocus on Visitor, Jules can't help but notice the way the dog favors one leg as he trots over to sit snugly between Leigh's legs, looking up at her with those big, trusting eyes. “Looks like he's got a bit of a limp,” Jules points out.

Leigh frowns and leans down to get a closer look, her fingers gently probing around Visitor's leg until she finds a tender spot. The moment she applies a little pressure, Visitor yelps, pulling away sharply and retreating a few steps.

Jules winces at the reaction. “Yeah, that's not good. Maybe we should take him to a vet?”

Leigh can barely hold back a grimace as her brain immediately links you to the situation.

“What's wrong?” Jules notices the sudden shift in Leigh’s mood. “There's St. Mary's Animal Clinic nearby. I heard they're great.”

That's your clinic. Leigh's throat tightens at the thought, the memories of her visit flooding back. “Are there others around here?”

Jules looks puzzled at the question. “I mean, I can look it up, but what's wrong with St. Mary's?”

Leigh considers whether she should tell Jules about meeting you. Part of her really knows it’s unfair to dislike you, especially if you genuinely didn't know Matt was married. But she knows Jules too well—tell her, and it'll turn into a whole thing. Leigh's not sure she's up for that drama.

Despite her reservations, Leigh decides to bite the bullet, her curiosity getting the better of her. Besides, if she can’t be brave enough to talk about this in her counseling group, she should probably at least tell Jules.

“Actually, Jules,” Leigh begins, “St. Mary's Animal Clinic is where... where she works.”

Jules's eyes widen in shock, her hand flying to her mouth. “Wait, you mean... you mean her, as in…?” she stammers, disbelief written all over her face.

“Yup,” Leigh confirms, smacking her lips forcefully.

“Oh my god—that bitch,” Jules spits out, her voice dripping with disdain before Leigh can even brace for impact.

“She didn’t know Matt’s married,” Leigh clarifies quickly.

“And you bought that?”

“I had a feeling she was telling the truth. Besides, I can’t imagine Matt being that brazen to pursue someone while married. He can be a little self-righteous sometimes,” Leigh says, only half-sure of her statement. Recently, she has to remind herself that maybe she never really knew him at all.

Then, an idea sparks in Jules's mind. “You know what?” she says, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Maybe this is a good opportunity. After all, she owes you one, right? Maybe she'll treat Visitor for free, to make up for being... well, you know.”

Leigh rubs her nose, skeptical of the idea. “I don't know, Jules. I don't want to impose…”

Jules leans in, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “I mean, if she's the reason you're hurting, maybe she should make it right?”

She isn't hurting because of you, not directly. That's why Jules’ suggestion hangs in the air, unappealing. Leigh remembers the pity in your eyes from that morning, and she doesn't want it. She doesn't want anything from you at all. Her resolve instantly hardens like ice.

“No,” Leigh finally says. “I don't want her charity. I'll pay for Visitor's bills myself. And I'll keep the receipts for when his real owners show up.” It's a decision that feels surprisingly empowering, a small reclaiming of control in a world that's felt off-kilter for too long.

Jules merely sighs; she knows better than to push Leigh when her mind’s made up.

“Have it your way.”

Leigh brings Visitor to St. Mary’s the very next day.

There's a certain set to her jaw, a readiness for something less than pleasant. She doesn’t need to go through reception this time because she spots you right away, escorting a client to the door, cradling their puppy in your arms. Seeing you with a pet makes Leigh realize why you’ve chosen this profession. You fit right in among the animals, she muses bitterly.

It's with a sense of satisfaction that she watches your smile dissipate as soon as your eyes land on hers.

She strides confidently towards you, dog in arms, forcing you to quickly hand off the puppy back to its owner. Yet, you recover with a swiftness that's begrudgingly admirable as you give her a look that’s equal parts professional and friendly—like you were actually looking forward to seeing her again.

“Good morning, Leigh. How can I help you?”

Without a word, Leigh extends the dog she’s carrying towards you, a silent transfer of trust, or perhaps, necessity. You gesture towards the consultation room, an invitation she accepts with a terse nod, following you into the space where you effortlessly shift into doctor mode.

As you begin to charm her dog, she can't help but narrow her eyes. It irks her, watching Visitor take to you instantly, as if you were old friends. “What's his name?” you ask, looking up at Leigh.

“Visitor.”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the name, just in time for your irises to capture the light seeping through the office blinds. They glow a hazel-brown, disarmingly so. Leigh forces herself to focus back on the purpose of her visit.

Leigh continues, “He’s limping on his left hind leg. I’d appreciate it if you can prescribe him something. I'll try not to take up too much of your time.”

Ignoring the undercurrent of Leigh's insinuation, your attention remains undividedly on Visitor. The well-being of the dog before you eclipses any personal sentiments, as it always does.

“I'm sorry, but before we can consider any medication, I need to examine him thoroughly. It's possible he might require some lab tests to rule out anything serious,” you tell her. Despite sounding apologetic, Leigh interprets it as your polite way of telling her to fuck off and let you do your job.

As you palpate the dog's leg carefully, you begin your routine questions. “Can you tell me his birthday? Any vaccination history?”

They’re basic, but they seem to catch Leigh off guard anyway. “He’s not mine. I found him on the street yesterday,” she reveals with a reluctant sigh.

The news prompts a more detailed response from you.

“I see. In that case, we should definitely line up some tests for Visitor. We need to ensure he doesn't have distemper or any other airborne virus that could be affecting his mobility,” you suggest, already mentally cataloging the necessary procedures.

You start detailing the tests you intend to perform, explaining their purposes and associated costs. Leigh is clearly deluged by it all and you decide to take pity on the poor woman by adding that it’s still up to her which tests to proceed with, if any at all.

“Your call, Leigh,” you tell her.

Leigh can't shake off the vibe that you're throwing a gauntlet down in front of her. It's like her inner competitor wakes up, refusing to back down. “Do all of them,” she declares, tipping her chin up towards you. “Whatever you think is best.”

“That’s a good decision. We’ll take care of it right away,” you say, already picking up the phone to call the reception for assistance.

Leigh's still trying to get a read on you. Was her arm twisted into this choice, or did you genuinely have Visitor's best interest at heart? She's not about to hand out trust like free samples, especially when she could end up misjudging you. It’s a tricky spot, especially because she’s clearly been wrong before.

The tests take their time, roughly an hour, after which Leigh finds herself pacing the lobby. An additional quarter-hour trickles by before the receptionist finally calls her back into the consultation room.

“Good news,” you start, making sure to catch her eye. She meets your look briefly before her attention shifts to Visitor. “It's only a sprain. The X-ray revealed no breaks or other issues. But,” you pause, checking to see if she's still fully engaged, “his blood tests indicated a low platelet count and evidence of an infection.”

Leigh listens intently, nodding along.

You explain what this means in a clear, concise manner, avoiding medical jargon as much as possible. “It's something we can manage with medication. I'll prescribe some antibiotics for the infection and pain medication to help with his discomfort. It's important that he completes the course of antibiotics to clear the infection completely.”

You watch Leigh closely, gauging her reaction and ready to answer any questions she might have. “We'll need to keep an eye on his platelet count, so I'd like to schedule a follow-up visit next week. This will also give us a chance to check how his leg is healing.”

“Will he be okay?” she asks without looking up from Visitor, busy scratching behind his ears.

“He'll be just fine,” you reassure her, adding, “Any questions about what we discussed?”

Leigh stays silent and you take it as your cue that she doesn’t have any thoughts on the matter. As she wraps up without saying much more, you realize it's time to wrap things up too. But there's something niggling at you, something that's been on your mind since the last time she was here. You're about to let her go, but then, out of nowhere, you feel this urge to clear the air about that whole mess with Matt.

“So, uhm, about the other week when you…” you trail off, suddenly feeling like you're balancing on a tightrope without a net. You’re not so easily spooked by confrontations, but Leigh makes you nervous in a way you can’t explain. “I guess I just wanted to say sorry… for your loss, and for—”

“Does he really need to take pain medication for seven days?” Leigh cuts you off suddenly. It’s sharp enough for you to shut your mouth and abandon your attempt to get personal.

“Yes, the full course is important to ensure he's comfortable and that the inflammation goes down properly. It's just as crucial as the antibiotics for his recovery…”

Leigh nods, carefully scooping Visitor into her arms, preparing to leave.

You try one last time. “Leigh, I really am sorry–”

“I’ll see you next week, Dr. Y/L/N,” she says dismissively and then she’s gone.

#unbetad #my writing #my fic #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x female reader #leigh shaw #sorry for your loss au #leigh shaw x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #sorry i had to tag wanda x reader for visibility

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ezdotjpg · 2 months

Note

do you have any directors commentary on the recent two updates? 👉👈 the color palette is absolutely lovely! and and and WOLF!! :DD

OH BOY DO I

In the original draft of this chapter, Wolf stays a, uh, wolf until like the 4th update. Instead of actually managing to get his teeth on the master sword, Loft threw him off immediately. The Deku Tree still said the line about all three of them being heroes and Slate is like. “Including the fucking dog????!” I thought it was very funny but a) it made some scenes later down the line a huge pain and b) I was tired of drawing wolves ALDKDKD

You may have noticed Wolf’s scowling in the bg of almost every panel. That’s kind of just his face, but also right now my guy is nursing the world’s biggest migraine from popping the shadow crystal out of his skull. He can stay wolfmode for a while, but it’s still technically a curse. It’s not consequence free, and there’s an upper limit for how long he can spend in that form. Anyway, cut him some slack if he’s a little prickly for a bit.

There were a lot of comments about Loft being strong enough to toss a wolf over his head lol. My hc is that he’s one of, if not the strongest Link sans any magic items like power bracelets or gauntlets. He’s actually not even as strong now as he was during his quest. Wolf maybe has him beat now, but he can still get tossed lolol

It might seem like Slate’s really taken everything that happened at the end of ch1 in stride, but don’t worry. He’s simmering. Loft is grateful for the opportunity to get distracted by something else. Maybe that’s why he was so willing to approach the wild animal he’s never seen before lol

This maybe goes without saying based on the events of the last two updates, but Slate never had wolf link with him during the events of botw. He doesn’t recognize Wolf.

I’m really glad ppl seem to be liking the colors bc I struggled with them so hard on both updates 🫠literally days of me turning to my roommate and going “I think I’ve never made anything worse” and them going “it looks good stop being dramatic” WKDJDK I have this thing where if I had an idea in my head for what an update should look like, and what I produce doesn’t meet it somehow, I start seeing in fucking. shrimp colors. Posting always gives me a confidence boost back lol.

these pages were cursed in general bc like. this doesn’t usually happen but I think I redrew every panel in this update at least 5 times each. that’s part of why it ended up being late SKDJF

I REALLY like the idea of being in the presence of the Triforce and having access to its power being this eldritch, divinely horrifying experience. The sort of thing that is impossible to explain to anyone and also haunts you forever. Loft spends a lot of time actively trying not to think about the Triforce. Just, like, remember that about him.

Like how tears in reality are shown through holes in the literal comic panels, I tried to show the concept of reality bending in the form of a panel stretching and twisting like a ribbon ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I hope that came across. Triforce lore varies a bit from game to game, but I’ve come up with my own internal logic for bonus links that combines all the ideas I like lolol. We’ll learn more about it in due time!

I also really like this parallel :D I intentionally set up the panels so past and present loft would line up like this. i love getting to draw flashback links it’s so fun to think of ways to convey what they used to be like, and how their quests might have gone for them. Past Loft’s not having a great time by the time he reaches this point lol

I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for asking :D

#long post #askdotjpg #bonuslinksdotjpg #bonus links #bonuslinks #bonus loft #bonus wolf #bonus slate

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bumpkinspice0 · 10 months

Text

Parallels Chapter 5

Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader

No use of y/n

Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI!!)

Word Count: 5969

Summary: An anomaly finally makes her way into you dimension and that comes with more than you thought.

Warnings: Canon typical violence (No blood or anything), un-beta'd as hell, S M U T, fingering, Tension, P n V sex (make sure you wrap it before you tap it folks), Praise kink, multiple orgasms, Miguel doesn't use stairs, don't look at me. Small note: I'm making a taglist for this fic! Just comment or message if you want to be added or just interact with this post!

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Series Masterlist

AO3

Chapter 5

Fury

Nothing compared to the highest rooftops of New York in the dead of night. Serenity and stillness above the constantly bustling chaos just below— The perfect hiding spot and vantage point. There was so much happening on the ground that people never bothered to look up all that much. Well, maybe they did a little more since you came into the picture.

It was a long journey but you eventually won the hearts of your fellow citizens. After years of fighting it couldn’t be denied that you were only here to help, despite what the Daily Bugle preached every Sunday.

“All units be advised,” the comm crackles in your ear. “Disturbance in Washington Square Park. Suspect reported to be superhuman.”

The largest victory in the past few years was probably getting the cops to finally trust you. Well, trust was a strong word. You could finally get in and fight a threat without having to worry about dodging gunfire or a helicopter chase afterward. The city's precincts were a good mix of welcoming your help with open arms or begrudgingly working with you. Still, it was better than what it had been.

Regardless, the NYPD were your eyes all over the city and you were the last call they hoped they’d never have to make.

“Call in the spider.”

That’s your cue— and you were finally close for once. Washington Square Park. No more than 5 minutes as the spider swings. You jump from your perch by the river and start making your way there. As you swing more reports come in.

“Suspect armed and dangerous. Explosives used.”

“Immediate area evacuated.”

“Suspect is airborne. Repeat, suspect is airborne. He’s got wings, fella’s.”

Oh, this was ramping up to be a really good night, but the next report nearly sends you tumbling.

“I don’t believe it– it’s— the Goblin. It’s the Green Goblin.”

Norman? No, he’d been dead for years. Killed by his own machines. This had to be a sadistic follower. A copycat. It wouldn’t be the first time you’d dealt with someone following in the footsteps of one of your mortal enemies.

Just another fun perk to this job.

You swing past the police barrier, landing in the circular concrete center of the deserted park. It was completely dark. They must have taken out all the street lamps. You couldn’t hear that god-awful maniacal laughter, but you smelled the residue from that stupid glider. The chemicals from some pumpkin bombs too. They were close, and they’d likely seen you swing in.

“Here, Goblin, Goblin, Goblin,” you taunt as you circle the center fountain. “If you come out we can play nice and maybe talk about our feelings.”

“ Spider-Girl , ” And there was that horrible, scratchy voice only someone with diagnosed insanity would think is cool. It definitely didn’t belong to Norman Osborn, though. You turn in its direction, only greeted with the sight of dark looming trees. “ Love the new suit. ”

“Oh, this old thing,” you mockingly bash, scanning the grassy area, “Just had it lying around, ya know. Not sure it’s really me though.”

“ Where am I? ” the faceless voice sneers, “ It was daytime. I was flying, then— You. You did this, didn’t you? ”

They were agitated— likely manic and confused, how could they not be if they’d somehow gotten their hands on the Goblin formula. You were the only target they had, and they likely hated you before all of this happened. You opt for the negotiating route.

“Look, buddy. We don’t have to fight,” You slowly raise your hands as a small peace offering, “If you’re confused, we can just—”

The figure bursts from the darkness, grabbing you by the throat and soaring into the night air. So much for negotiating. As you fly past the surrounding skyline you finally get a good look at your villain.

This goblin was a woman— with the most comically ridiculous pointed goblin ears you’d ever seen. She didn’t ride a proper glider but surfed on what looked more like a rocket. She wore head-to-toe metallic purple with some basic armoring around her mid-section and shoulders. All of her gear was clearly professionally made.

But there was something else about her. A faint aura. The way her body moved. The lines of her sadistic face— Something not of this world.

She was an anomaly.

Of course, how did you not think of it before? The one night you didn't wear your watch. It would have alerted you right away. You’d never had an anomaly enter your dimension before. Every one of them you’d faced up until the point was in someone else’s world. Other dimensions already felt so strange and off-kilter to you, you never stopped to think about how truly out of place the anomalies were. They all looked alien when the entire world was alien.

But this was your neck of the woods. This was your home and she was just so clearly not part of it.

“ How did you do this? ” she steadies her glider and holds you out over empty air.

“Would you believe me if I said this wasn’t your dimension?” You wheeze out in her grasp.

Through some divine comedic timing, she glitches. As her hand phases between worlds, you fall from her grasp. You tumble a few dozen feet before catching yourself on a building. Clinging to the brick, you look back up at your new goblin assailant.

The glitching comes to a shaky stop and she steadies herself on her rocket glider again. She takes a small moment to look down at her hands, a wave of shock overtaking her green face before it settles into fiendish joy.

“ So... I can travel between dimensions? ” she says more to herself than to you.

“ Travel is a strong word,” You get her attention.

She looks at you, “ You’re not my Spider-Girl? ”

“It’s Spider -Woman, actually.” you ready yourself to pounce at any moment.

“ How many of you are there? ” She asks, anger dotting her words.

“Oh yeah sure, just let me just give you a quick overview of the multiverse,” Without giving her time to react you shoot a web to the tip of her rocket glider, thrusting it off kilter in one motion. She goes flying. You jump after her, “That’s a terrible glider design by the way.”

“ Insolent brat! ” She screams, reaching out her hand. You reach for her, only to instantly be met with open air as she’s swept away by the glider. She can summon her dumb rocket- surfboard.

Of course.

You bank to her right, shooting web to at least immobilize her hands. Any web that gets near her is immediately slashed by blades now protruding from her wrists. You aim for her glider again, but she easily bobs and weaves past all of your shots now that she knows what to expect. She was better on that thing than you thought.

You jump, sticking yourself to the underside of the rocket glider. If you can’t stop her, then you’ll just have to dance with her.

“ You think you're a match for the Goblin QUEEN? ” She sneers, whipping around wildly to fling you off.

“Oh, apologies, your majesty. ” You rip off a panel of the flying device, grabbing at any cables and wiring you can, “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of royalty.”

She grunts in frustration, whipping you to the left and slamming you into the nearest building. In the midst of the searing impact, you lose your grip on her.

“ Pathetic.” She swings around to hover in front of you, “ You’re not my Spider, but you’ll do for now. ” She barrels toward you at full force, a massive blade unsheathing from the front of her glider. Without time to jump, you catch her glider— holding her at arm's length while the blade extends out to mere inches from your face.

The brick around you cracks and crumbles as the full force of her glider pushes down on you.

“ I’ll kill you, then I’ll harness this power and kill ALL of you,” Oh great, she was monologging , “ Every Spider, dead by my hands. This is what I was born to do!”

“M-might wanna check that ego, lady!” you grunt, hiking up your feet to push back on the body of her glider. It was awkward but you had the leverage— you just don’t know how long you can hold it.

You kick your legs up, using her own force against her, and send her spiraling backward. You immediately get out of your cornered position and head back towards the open park. If she was covered in knives and reportedly using explosives, best to keep her away from any buildings. Make her focus all of her attention on you. You stand in the center circle again as she hovers overhead.

“ You can’t run, Spider-Woman, ” She taunts, “ And you can’t win .”

You don’t time have for a witty remark before she’s charging at you again, her glider's blade front and center.

You’re about to act when a bassy boom crackles and rips through the air, giving you both pause.

Then you feel it— A buzzing at the base of your skull.

Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding.

The portal forms just to your right. His webs appear first, red treads shooting from the golden light. They latch onto her glider. The Goblin, shocked, attempts to correct her course, pulling Miguel the rest of the way out of the portal with her. He stands strong, several strands of webs in each hand. He whips his lassos downward, sending her flying off the glider. Before she can summon it back he whips his arms again, redirecting it straight into the ground. It explodes instantly.

He drops the webbing and shakes off his shoulders. He turns to you, sleek mask obscuring his face. He was here. He was actually here.

“Uh, Thanks,” You say, “Was trying to get her off that stupid thing for like 10 minutes now.”

“Don’t mention it,” Though you can’t see it, you can hear the smile in his voice.

“Two of you now? ” your assailant broods from the shadows. You and Miguel immediately stand back to back at the sound of her voice, “ No matter, you’ve stopped nothing. You can’t stop Fury. You can’t stop destiny. ”

“Oh, she’s a monologuer,” Miguel scoffs.

“Mhm, she’s already vowed to kill all of spider-kind.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” he tuts back.

“Are all of you always so arrogant?” She sneers.

“Pretty much,” You answer.

What happens next you still can’t fully articulate. It was a matter of milliseconds, yet it felt as if the world moved at half its normal speed.

You feel it before you see or hear it. She throws three pumpkin bombs. Before the devices even leave her hands you know exactly what direction they're coming from in the darkness— And seemingly so does Miguel. You move together in perfect unison, dodging the explosives as they implode on the ground. She starts circling the two of you, throwing bomb after bomb. Still, not one touches you. Here in a complete darkness, it’s like you could feel every move she was going to make.

“Damned Spiders,” She grunts in frustration as she throws another pumpkin bomb into the concrete clearing. This one doesn’t explode on impact though. You and Miguel pause.

“Smoke!” He shouts, just a second too late. Pink gas explodes from the device. You’re able to escape only after having gotten a lung full of the nasty stuff. You cough and wheeze, barely able to swing to safety in the sparse trees. Miguel is nowhere to be seen, but you can sense him nearby. Maybe this spider-sense thing was coming in handy for once.

Goblin laughter from behind sends a shiver up your spine. You turn to see her perched in an oak tree. Just a few yards beyond her, a broad figure lurks in the settling pink mist. To catch this one, you had to be smarter. You’d have to lure her in— and part of you thinks Miguel has the same idea.

“Not bad, for a Psychopath,” you dust your legs off.

“ I think you mean visionary ,” She croons. “ You and your brutish Spider-man are no match for- ”

“Say’s the lady with no ride and a quickly dwindling supply of Spirit Halloween props.” You glance over and Miguel crouches down to all fours— Ready to pounce at exactly the right moment. Her guard is still up, if he jumped now he’d be met with a grenade directly to the face. You could distract her. Get all of her attention on you again. She obviously liked to talk, so…

“How do you even become Queen of the Goblins ?” You ask, leaning against a tree. “Is there a king? Is it David Bowie?!”

“ Silence! ” She screams. When in doubt, always go for the ego with super villains, “ I was chosen by Norman Osborn. Chosen at birth and raised for this purpose. ”

“Norman Osborn is dead.” you sneer, “And he certainly isn’t bestowing his messed up legacy on babies.”

“ In your reality, maybe. In mine, he’s a god, ” She crouches down, “ But you’ve opened my eyes to the possibilities, dear. Osborn lives, somewhere out there. I’ll find him. I’ll rally the goblins and we’ll finally kill you all.”

“Norman Osborn is dead ,” You repeat, “He always dies. Always . And it’s always a Spider standing over him.”

“ Not anymore.” You see her face contort in anger. Attacking her goblin cult leader must be the way to go.

“You know why?” You step toward her, “Because he’s weak.”

“Shut. Your. Mouth. ”

“Just a weak, pathetic, ordinary , man.”

“ Shut up! ”

You ready yourself, “Make me.”

She barely gets a foot off her branch before Miguel pounces from behind. All in an instant, he grabs her, pinning her arms to her chest— a portal forms above you, and Miguel, Goblin Queen in hand, fly’s through it.

It blips closed before you can follow. You instinctively reach for your watch, only to realize again you did wear it tonight. Of course, that’d make everything too easy. Why would you wear it if you weren’t planning on an interdimensional battle tonight? A mistake, you assure yourself, you’ll never make again.

The brief thought of hurrying directly home and following Miguel flashes through your mind. Even if you could somehow get back to your Brooklyn apartment in a matter of minutes, you still had other duties to attend to. The sound of several officers entering the park brings you back to reality. Miguel was a pro— he could handle it from here. You needed to let your people know the situation was taken care of.

You speak with the Sargent and Captain at the scene, spinning some lie about her being a deranged follower and one of her bombs malfunctioning, and vaporizing her instantly. It was absolutely ridiculous but they trusted you to never lead them astray. Better to lie here than release the secret of access to the multiverse. The threat to your city was gone. That’s all that mattered.

You, fortunately, manage to escape a press statement this time, regretfully leaving that task up to Captain Stacy. He was better with the cameras than you were anyway.

It’s nearly 3 a.m. when you finally get back home, sneaking into the building through your rooftop perch. Honestly, it’s an earlier night than most. Your back aches from being slammed into a brick wall and your head is still spinning from whiplash. A hot shower and your bed sounded like paradise.

Your building was an old warehouse renovated sometime in the 2000s. It used to be a massive bakery. You swear you can still smell freshly baked bread in the bricks some 20 years later. You fucking loved your apartment. Vaulted ceilings, massive industrial windows, and a lofted bedroom. You were able to afford it out of sheer luck.

Some business tycoon's daughter was kidnaped. When you returned her safely he handed you a briefcase with hundreds of thousands in cash, refusing to take no for an answer. You felt dirty taking it but you were flat broke since starting college and the medical bills from your nightly activities were piling up. You were younger then— and desperate.

Jack seemed amazed you were even feeling remorse for it at the time.

“You’ve saved this city how many times?!” he’d scold you. “I think you can have something for almost dying for the people of this town on a bi-weekly basis.”

Part of you agreed and part of you felt you were straying from the path— whatever that meant. Jack begged you to get something nice for yourself— so, you got this place and vowed never to take money for your job ever again. You fell in love as soon as you saw it. Your safe haven. Spider HQ, as Jack affectionately called it.

Miguel had an entire tower, you could have more than a shoebox apartment.

He was probably back at the tower now. You grab your watch and check the villain logs. Lyla kept a detailed list of who’d been captured and where. And there she was, right at the top.

Fury the Goblin Queen: Earth-982

Status- Captured: Earth-727 at 2200 hours

He handled it. Nothing else to worry about. You let out a heavy sigh and peal off your suit, sports bra, and underwear. A scorching hot shower and some ibuprofen were calling your name.

You’re about to climb the steps to your bathroom when you feel a slight tremble in the walls along with a buzzing in your head.

Again? Right now? You’re suddenly very aware of your complete nakedness and quickly grab one of your long abandoned t-shirts from a kitchen stool to cover up with. The baggy shirt barely brushed the tops of your thighs but it’ll have to do.

The golden portal formed in your living room, a still fully suited Miguel emerging from it. It closes behind him with a deep rumble.

“Thanks for waking all my neighbors up,” you pinch the bridge of your nose.

His mask fades away, revealing that stupid handsome face, “You didn’t follow.” he simply says.

“Didn’t have my watch. I won’t happen again.”

“You didn’t check in, either.”

“Didn’t think I needed to,” you groan, rubbing the back of your stinging neck, “I just got home after defusing the scene for 2 hours. Sorry if it slipped my mind.” The last part comes out more bitchy than you intend but you were fucking tired. And he comes to your home— To what? Berate you about protocol? Fuck off.

“Sorry, just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He says, earnestly. Okay, well now you do feel a little bit like a bitch.

He could have just called or asked Lyla to check up on you, be he came himself. He was here, in your apartment. The realization makes your spider sense spike.

He’s here and you're both alone.

“I’ve… never fought with you before,” He says, relaxing his posture, “You did good.”

“You too,” you say passively. You lean against the kitchen counter, letting the following silence linger into uncomfortable territory. What else was there to say? He came to make sure you were okay, the villains locked up and your dimension isn’t crumbling. Still, that dreaded sixth sense pulled at you to keep him here. Just a little longer, “Has it ever felt like that before?” you finally ask.

“Has what?” he furrows his eyebrows.

“Fighting… with another spider,” You clarify, “When we were in the clearing— When she was throwing the bombs. The way we moved, it felt so—”

“Instinctual,” He finishes, taking a step toward you. “No, it’s never felt that way. It’s like you knew what to do. Like you knew what I was thinking.”

“Yeah,” You shy away from his gaze. You suddenly feel the gravity of it all. While you were grateful for the benefits of the spider sense, something was wrong with you. With both of you. This wasn’t a normal spider-sense. Whatever this was, was like a brick through the window of your daily life. Something was triggered in you, and you couldn’t turn it off. Now you’ll probably never be normal again— not that you really were before.

Everything felt perfect before. The city finally accepted you, a new job you were proud of, and new friends just like you. People that could understand in a way no one else could. You’d found a balance and a new passion for being Spider-Woman. Now, for the first time in years, you cursed your abilities. You doubted yourself. An outsider again, even amongst your own kind.

“Hey.” Miguel’s voice brings you out of the spiral. He’s standing directly in front of you. When did he get so close? “You okay, little spider?”

The nickname makes your cheeks flush.

“Yeah, I—” You stop yourself from rambling, bringing your hand up to your cheek “This is kinda fucked up, isn’t it? You and me?”

He snorts a small laugh, “Yeah, kinda.”

“Whatta we supposed to do, Miguel?” you ask yourself, more than him. Even if his test showed something, then what? Just learn to live with it, you suppose.

“Business as usual,” He reiterates from the other day in his room. Why did business as usual feel so difficult then? You’re not even sure what that means around him. A silence stirs between you two again, but this time you feel something building. Your mind screams at you to touch him. To let him take control and ravish you. You squeeze your legs together, doing your best to hide it even though it’s no use. If you felt it, he felt it too.

“I should go.” He finally says, voice barely above a whisper.

“Sure,” you nod. Neither of you moves. You see the hunger behind his brilliant red eyes.

You hesitantly reach out, running a hand up his broad chest. You needed something— Just a little of him. His breath hitches at the contact but he doesn’t shy away. His suit’s technology ripples in the wake of your touch, illuminating and fading away to show the rich, tan skin underneath— before phasing back in an instant. He grabs your wrist, halting your movement at his stomach. You can feel his heart rate rising under your touch.

He pulls you in, lips crashing in a frenzy of movement. You throw your arms over his shoulders as he pins you against the kitchen counter. His arms cage you in as his massive body overwhelms you.

Every move you make is feverish and desperate, begging for more of him. His tongue selfishly delves into your mouth and you moan at the taste of him. The sensation sends your head reeling. He bites at your lower lip before ghosting down to your neck. He was hungry— so were you.

Your head is spinning. All your pain and exhaustion now completely forgotten and replaced with pure, unbridled lust. The connection screams in gratitude, finally getting what it wanted.

“Miguel,” You sigh into his hair, as he leaves a trail of hickeys down your shoulder.

“I know,” He moans without halting his work, “ Lo sé. Yo también lo siento. ”

His bare hand snakes up your leg and hitches around the hem of your t-shirt. He pauses when he feels nothing else there.

“How scandalous.” He smiles against your skin, running his calloused hand across your bare hips. You shiver in response, suddenly unable to articulate language. He cradles your head with his other hand as he buries his nose in your hair, “Oh god, you smell so—you’re so—”

He runs his open hand over your bare cunt. You gasp and arch into him, rolling your hips over his fingers. Greedily rocking back and forth against his rough hand, you coat his fingers with your growing arousal. He moves his hand gingerly as you do so. He gently runs his middle finger along your seam before thrusting it inside.

You swing your head back with a moan, clawing at his shoulders. He takes the opportunity to devour your neck again while working his hand in and out of you. You’re at his complete mercy. Whatever he wanted from you, he could have— you’d happily give it.

His mass threatens to topple you over the counter. You hook your leg around his hips, opening yourself to him more. You feel his entire body vibrate with a moan as his lips proceed to explore every single inch of you that they can. His thumb comes up to work against your clit and it sends you to a new level.

“P-please!” You gasp. You’re not entirely sure why you say it.

He pauses all of his movements, glowing red eyes meeting yours, “Please what?” it’s more of a demand than a question.

Tell me what you want.

It takes a moment for your brain to catch up with your mouth, “Please fuck me.”

Then you see a shift in him. Like his eyes glaze over and somehow become more animalistic. It sets all of your hair on end and a new wave of arousal washing over your senses.

His voice drops an octave, “Where’s—”

“Upstairs.” you barely pant out, glancing up at your bedroom just above you. He follows your eyes, quickly taking the hint.

“Okay, little spider. Okay,” he ever so slowly draws his fingers out from your slick heat. You whimper at the sensation. His hands trace over your soft thighs before hooking under them. He lifts you like nothing at all and your lips come crashing back to his. You entangle your limbs around him as he walks you both out of the kitchen and to the open living room. He doesn’t go towards the stairs though, instead walking to the opposite wall. Before you can correct him, his hands are off you— talons digging into your living room wall.

He scales the bricks as you cling to him, not stopping your hungry kissing for a single beat. His powerful limbs move under you with brute force but his torso still holds steady for you to carry yourself on. A small reminder of just how strong he was.

He hoists you both over the railing of your loft and carries you to the bed, dropping you into the messy, unmade sheets. His hand comes to the collar of your shirt, ripping it down the middle. You shrug off the shreds and briefly wonder if you’ll ever be able to do this without ruining any clothes.

He takes a moment to drink in your naked form, eyes slowly traveling down the curves of your body. You squirm under his gaze— Your breasts heaving up and down in anticipation.

“Miguel,” you reach out to him.

Come here. Please.

His head twitches, eyes darting back to your face. His small trance broken, he smiles down at you. The edges of his suit start to fade away in a pale blue glow until there’s nothing left but a pair of black boxer briefs, his form silhouetted by the streetlights from the window. He hastily removes the underwear, freeing his throbbing hard cock. You drink him in, in all his glory.

He trails his massive hands back up your thighs and over your torso as he crawls on top of you. His hands are scorching and rough. He pauses at your breasts, running his thumbs over each pebbled nipple.

He takes one into his mouth, kneading the other roughly. You squirm under him, gasping at the contact. His cock twitches against your stomach. He seems to revel in it— watching you fall apart by his hand. You can’t say mind much either.

“Miguel, please,” You beg, pulling at his hair. He lazily comes off your breast, lulling his tongue over your nipple before rising completely.

“So impatient , ” he murmurs. He brings his hand down and runs his fingers through your wet folds, slowly gathering your arousal. He sits back, towering over you. He strokes his massive length, covering himself with you. His gaze burns into you as he puts on the show— small gasps escaping him with every stroke.

Look at what you do to me.

He crawls down your body. You bring your legs up from under him and hook them around his waist. He reaches down and guides his cock to your entrance. The blunt tip presses dauntingly against you and then you, only for a moment, worry you can’t take him— Then he rolls his hips forward. Your face contorts into a blissful silent scream as he begins stretching you to your limits.

“Oh god,” He moans as he slowly takes you inch by inch. He rolls his hips lightly before burying himself to the hilt. You’re legs are already quivering around him. “Relax for me.” He whispers into your ear.

He starts the pace slow, drawing out almost completely before rolling back in. Each dauntingly slow stroke of his cock was a wave of sensory overload. He had you stretched to near painful limits but with each steady thrust, it melted into pure pleasure, your body relaxing around him.

A little faster now, you start to roll your hips with him. Once your rhythm is set, he brings his starved mouth back down to yours. You moan into him, feeling it reverberate in both your chests. You consume each other greedily.

Your sense is singing in absolute ecstasy.

It’s never felt this way before. You’d had a meager handful of lovers in your life, often leaving you wanting and disappointed— But this? This was something entirely different. Something so deep-rooted and primal. It scared you. It excited you.

“ He pensado en esto durante tanto tiempo.” He murmurs into you, “ Te sientes asombrosa.”

You absolutely do not have the brain capacity to even attempt to understand him right now. Still, the way he so lovingly says it makes your heart swell.

“You sound like sin,” He grunts against your neck, “It’s fucking beautiful. Eres hermosa, mi arañita. ”

Your growing arousal makes you more vocal with each movement— the coil in your belly already tightening more and more. Your sinful screams bounce off the walls of your apartment and back to you.

He’s leaving a growing trail of marks across your shoulders, evidence that he’s been there. You can’t say that you disapprove of the reminder. He’s so vigorous in all of his movements with you, it was getting close to overwhelming.

You’d thought of this— you’d dreamed about it for months now and he was incomparable to whatever you could have possibly imagined. Not just because his dick was proving to be something out of this world— well, you suppose it was— but because it was just him. His smell, his sound, his taste— he overwhelmed your every sense as he made love to you.

He hits something new and deep inside you, and you jump under him. He takes notice. Of course, he does. He devastatingly slams his hips forward into the same spot again. Electricity surges through you.

“Oh, that’s it, isn’t it? You like that?” He chuckles, thrusting into the same hypersensitive spot over and over. A few more thrust and it was your undoing.

You can’t even warn him before it hits you like a freight train.

You claw down his back as your orgasm overtakes you. Limbs numbing and mind blacking out to nothingness for brief seconds, it was almost too much. Quivering beneath him, he works you through it. Each thrust extends your blinding pleasure just slightly longer before it subsides into maddening overstimulation.

“Good Girl,” He moans against your ear, “S-so, fucking tight. So good.”

He doesn’t slow his pace, continuing to fuck you through your prolonged high. He takes full advantage of it. You gasp for any air you can, every nerve in your body threatening to burn up in the euphoria.

“One more,” he grunts, “I know you have one more for me.”

He nuzzles into your neck, teeth bearing down on the soft flesh there. The pearl gleam of his fangs flashes in your mind, and you know you should be afraid— but you're not. The idea of him drawing blood is strangely pleasing. His tongue licks up along the reddened mark his teeth have left there.

Then he shifts you— untangling your legs from him and pulling your hips up off the bed. You plant your feet as he holds your shaky hips. He rises and starts to thrust down into you, bringing his fingers to your clit, and rubbing small circles over your already fried nerves. God, he looked fucking magnificent towering above you— His face pure lust. Eye’s lidded and glossy, sweat pecking at his brow.

You grasp at the sheets, trying to find any sense of stability. Another wave is washing over you, “M-Miguel. Miguel, I’m gonna—”

It rips through you quicker than your first, but no less powerful. Your voice catches in your throat as you gasp for air, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“That’s it. That’s it,” he chants as crawls back over you, pulling you closer, “Fuck, you feel so good when you—”

His steady pace becomes sporadic as he chases his own relief. You feel his hips start to quake and his eyes go completely red.

“W-where?” he gasps.

“God— inside!” you scream impatiently. You can inform him of your birth control after, though he seems to take the hint.

He cums with a string of grunts uttered into the sheets next to your head, hips shuttering still as he pushes as deep inside you as you can. You feel him throbbing against your walls as he fills you. Every muscle in his body is quivering and tense and then… he relaxes completely. You hold him close, arms and legs wrapping around him. You bury your nose in the nape of his neck, memorizing his musky scent.

You both stay there for what felt like hours, in unmoving silence. Breathing each other’s heavy air, clinging to the other’s body. Truth be told, it was probably less than a minute, but it stretched on for eternity.

He’s the first to move, rising up to rest his sweaty forehead against yours, “Holy shit.”

How romantic. But that pretty much summed up your feelings too.

“Holy shit.” you chuckle lightly in agreement. You notice while coming down from your sexual high your spider sense has also been tamed into silence yet again. That was to be expected but there was something else this time. A new level of satisfaction. You can’t help but wonder what it’s like on his end, “What’s it feel like... For you?”

“It’s…Peaceful. Satiated and content.” he says, rolling onto his side. Your breath hitches at the loss of him. “It felt satisfied before when we… but now…”

“It’s different.” You finish his line of thought. It was vague and incredibly obvious, but how else could you possibly describe a sensation you’d never felt before? Yeah, it was different, but how? You just simply didn’t have the words— not yet.

It was everything and nothing you’d ever known before. He made you feel that way.

“Will you stay?” you find yourself saying before you can stop yourself. He’s obviously taken aback.

“I don’t—”

“Just- just for a little while.” You quickly try to backtrack a little. It feels needy and clingy but you feel like if he left you’d be lying awake for hours with your spider sense screaming at you. Just hold you for a little while? Is that so much to ask? You’re worried you just massively overstepped a boundary… but then his expression softens into a faint smile.

“Sure, little spider. For a little while.”

_____________________________________

Lo sé. Yo también lo siento- I know. I feel it too He pensado en esto durante tanto tiempo- I’ve thought about this for so long Te sientes asombrosa.- You feel amazing Eres hermosa, mi arañita- You’re beautiful, my little spider

For the love of god, please let me know if any of this is wrong.

Fury the Goblin Queen is a character from the Mayday Parker Spider-Girl comics! They were my favorites growing up and I thought Fury was cool as shit. She surfs on a fucking rocket, like come on. Too bad she was raised in a cult though.

#miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x spiderwoman!reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #across the spiderverse

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doctorprofessorsong · 1 year

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Destiel Fic Recs

It's that time of year where nobody knows what day it is or how they got there, so why not hide from your family/boss to read Destiel fics. And friends, this last list of 2022 may be the best so far.

The Leap by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 82k words)

I don't know how to explain the way 91W lit up my brain like one of those old electricity balls at Spencer's but I thought I would never have that experience again until this fic came along. It's a very different, much softer story, but this fic has the 91W vibes that make you want to crunch on your own bones (vintage gay sadness is the tag we live in here). Its so deeply rooted in a sense of place and time. Dean and Cas are so clearly and immediately bonded and kept apart by circumstance. The longing y'all. The way they can't help but fall in love at the risk of their lives and freedom. It's gorgeous.

The fic is set in post WWII occupied Berlin in a divided Germany just before the wall goes up. Cas is a closeted police officer in East Berlin, trying his best to survive under a brutal dictatorship in an environment in which reporting your neighbors is not just encouraged, but expected. Dean is an American-born mechanic residing in West Berlin. For both of them, falling in love with a man could mean arrest, prosecution, and worse.

But they can't help the instant attraction between them. Neither of them is ready to walk away from the hope of a future together, as impossible of a dream as that is.

Beyond the 91W vibes, the thing about this fic is that the canon parallels are just so beautiful. Cas is expected to comply with a rigid hierarchy and to obey absolutely. Dean is trying his best to find optimism for those around him, and he has an irresistible early seasons charm and brashness that makes you fall instantly in love with him. And while there is period homophobia and oppression in this fic, FriendofCarlotta also pulls so much queer joy into the story. A slice of gorgeous community built against all odds and euphoria at finding love and family and shelter in the most hostile of places.

This story made me ugly cry (a true feat) and it's one of those stories you finish and consider turning back to Chapter 1 and reading it all over again. Seriously. Go read it then yell at me about it.

The Law of Equivalent Exchange by awed_frog @awed-frog (Mature, 60k)

This is the fic you have to read in one sitting because you don't want to be crushed by a falling desk like in Mystery Spot and never see the ending. It is gorgeous in a way that I think may have irrevocably changed me. A testament to love and devotion that left me absolutely breathless.

Cas, Angel of Tears, is assigned to watch over the lives of two brothers, tied together and experiencing hundreds of lifetimes of sorrow and joy in preparation for some mysterious Heavenly plan. His mission is to watch over a green-eyed boy, to guide him into each next life. The human doesn't know, doesn't remember (mostly), but it's impossible to ignore the growing bond between them. Cas finds himself inexorably changed by watching the many lives he experiences.

This is a canon fic (and tbh if you don't know canon the middle is going to confuse you because it's a reimagining of canon events with this context). That means awed-frog has somehow managed to make the crunchy Destiel scenes even more heart wrenching (extra crispy?).

This fic had me crying by Chapter 2. It's just a beautiful sweeping epic. And it does have a soft and beautiful landing. I will be thinking about it for awhile.

Märchen by tiamatv (Mature, 93k)

Fairy tale princess Dean Winchester. That's the delightful headline for this really fun and inventive fic. Dean of Winchester is the eldest prince but he lacks magic, making his brother the heir. What else do you do with a spare but promise to marry him off for political reasons, in this case to Michael, an Angel from a neighboring kingdom who lent his swords to Winchester to defeat the demons.

But Dean isn't gonna be some kept pretty thing, so he shocks everyone by saying no. Michael won't marry Dean without his consent, but that term is used very loosely, as angels do. So Dean is locked in a tower full of monsters where he is cursed to remain until he consents or finds his true love.

It's a tale as old as time (yes I said that), but there are some delightfully fresh elements. From Charlie the dragon princess (marry me, Charlie) to a sentient carnivorous hedge, the quirky characters make this fic impossible to put down. There are also some delightful genre choices such as an omnipotent narrator that make this fic feel comforting yet fresh.

In the end, you will be rooting for the angel knight and his prince to slay their inner demons.

A Crash Course in Computer Safety by followthattardis @debatchery (Explicit, 29k)

I love a good fusion and as a fan of the show Chuck, this Chuck Destiel AU absolutely slaps. If you are unfamiliar with the show, it's still an absolutely fun ride. Dean is stuck working at a Best Buy rip off as essentially a member of the Geek Squad. His life is in shambles after his best friend got him expelled from Stanford and stole his girlfriend, but he's making due.

That is until a mysterious email from his ex best friend throws him into a world of intrigue. Suddenly he's got the CIA and the NSA breathing down his neck. Even worse, he has to pretend to be dating the scorching hot CIA operative as a cover.

The Destiel feels are surprisingly potent for a mash-up, and the story is paced so well you won't want to put it down. Bonus points for perfect use of Henriksen.

Buckle up and cue up Short Skirt-Long Jacket by Cake.

The Shadow in the Corner by MalMuses @malmuses (Explicit, 47k)

I don't know that there are many fic writers who excel so thoroughly at classic romance as MalMuses. Her fics bring such a fantastic mix of horny, humor and softness. This one is no exception.

A Victorian steampunk story, this one is set in an alternative timeline where magic is known and the MOL openly fight monsters. Dean aka the Red Hand is tasked with a special investigation - to solve why a monster seems to be targeting the head of the agency's little brother, Castiel.

There's a good bit if mystery and intrigue, but the the headline for me was the delightful way Dean and Cas were both very aware of this instant connection and slowly orbiting each other as gravity pulled them closer. There's a softness to their relationship and it's largely external angst that keeps them apart as long as they are, but you never doubt that they are entirely gone for one another. Yes they suffer from perpetual horniness around each other, but its also very clear they genuinely like each other in a way that melted my cold dead heart.

In the end, a fun read with an exceptionally satisfying ending.

4:08 to Tombstone by Zuzeca (Explicit, 20k)

Cas is a Seraph with a mission: to save Dean Winchester, to retrieve the Michael Sword from Hell. But Dean perceives Hell not as it is, but instead as the wild west. Thrown into a bisexual cowboy fantasy, Cas has to navigate a dangerous escape while protecting this beautiful soul from those who would destroy it.

This fic is an absolute treasure. Amazing trueform angel descriptions, some gorgeous treatment of Dean’s Hell trauma, and a poignant bond between Dean and Cas that makes it a really sweet read (though mind the tags it gets dark). Its a really fun and novel take on the escape from Hell.

All That Remains by DoctorProfessorSong (Mature, 16k)

I am going to be annoying and self-rec here but I just released a fic I am super proud of. It's bittersweet and emotional and I poured my grief and parts of my soul into it. The tags are daunting but I do think it ends in a satisfying and hopeful place.

The stabfest story examines a canon divergent world where Dean is turned into a demon by the MOC, and Cas is forced to kill him to free him. He has a plan to save Dean, but it fails and Dean makes a deal with the Shadow to escape the Empty. The same deal as Cas. What follows is a reinterpretation of canon where both of them are unable to speak the truth because they risk losing it all.

It's a story about love and loss and hope. And perhaps most importantly it's a story about faith, not as some cheap fix-all, but as something that you hold in your heart in the darkest places.

Tag list below the cut. Let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists.

@varlysca @naturallyathief @greatbigbuggerer @fandoms-and-things @cascodedtech @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @deanwasalwaysbi @fellshish @valleydean @raspberry-tooth @the15yearhatecrime

#destiel fic recs #deancas fic recs #destiel fic rec #deancas fic rec #Destiel #deancas #spn fic recs #supernatural fic rec

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eoieopda · 1 year

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the one with seokjin, soju, and all the stars in the sky

Requested by Anon: Kim Seokjin got really drunk on a members-night-out, so his fiancée has to pick his cute, clingy ass up. ft. late-night wake-ups, gn!reader, and a lot of feelings about science. A/N: I accidentally deleted the draft associated with this ask, so now it's a separate post. Sorry for the wait, anon!

When Seokjin left for the evening, he'd placed a kiss on your forehead and a new book in your hands.

The novel in question was some obscure, independently published thing Namjoon had recommended. You'd mentioned it to Seokjin in passing — weeks ago — but hadn't had the downtime to seek it out since. Even if you had somehow carved out a moment to scour the local bookshops, you wouldn't have had the spare hours to immerse yourself in it the way you'd want to.

Not enough to meaningfully discuss its themes with Namjoon, anyway.

But Seokjin was Seokjin. He'd made some secret, mental note about what you said; hunted down that old single-edition book; and come up with a reason to spend his Saturday night elsewhere. He and his friends would get dinner and drinks — you'd get an overdue bubble bath and the solitude necessary to study for your unofficial, impromptu, two-member book club.

And that's precisely how you'd spent your night before tucking yourself into bed at the beautifully reasonable hour of half-past nine.

When your phone went off four hours later, you thought you were dreaming. You squinted at the screen for so long, trying to wrap your brain around the contact information blaring into your bleary eyes, that you almost failed to answer.

"Namjoon?" You croaked, throwing an arm over your eyes to hide from the offensive lamp light beaming off your bedside table. "I'm gonna need, like, a liter of coffee before I can wax poetic about the —"

"Hey, noona, it's Namjoon-ah!" He cut you off before you could finish. If the delayed, rhyming introduction didn't tip you off, the snorting, self-inflicted laughter would have.

Kim Namjoon, the designated dad of the friend group, was irrefutably ripped, zipped, and zooted.

You scrubbed your hand over your face in a futile attempt to stop your forming grin in its tracks. "Your picture popping up on my phone told me as much," You chuckled through your exhaustion, "To what do I owe the pleasure of this wake-up call?"

You heard him shout geonbae and gulp down some sort of shot before he provided you with an answer.

"Sojin has entered the chat," He announced with an absurd, deepened voice. Immediately, he cackled, "Get it? It's a portmanteau of soju and Seokjin, who is shitfaced — anyways, can you come get your man?"

It took you five minutes to throw on clothes and shuffle out the door to your car. The drive to the bar took only slightly longer, though it was the traffic lights and not the distance that slowed you down.

Unfortunately, twenty years came and went while you tackled the dreaded, subsequent task: parallel fucking parking.

The stress of it all nearly had you sweating by the time you entered the bar — you'd be hearing all that judgmental honking in your sleep, once you got back to it — but it all evaporated the second you saw Seokjin.

Off in the far corner, he sat on the outer half of a bench. Trapped inside that booth, visibly waiting for the sweet release of death, was Min Yoongi. You couldn't make out the details of that predominantly one-sided conversation, but you could tell by Seokjin's wild gesticulating and pink-tipped ears that he was ranting about something.

Bits and pieces fell into place as you made your away over, but no part of the overheard conversation made much sense to you.

Seokjin hiccupped, "I've said it once and I'll s-say it again —"

"— Hyung, I guarantee you've said it way more than once —" Yoongi attempted to interject, but he was quickly silenced by more of Seokjin's animated hand-waving.

"— Magic. It's magic, Yoongi. I'm tell — I'm telling you, man. There's just — hic — Science is stupid. I don't care about it, you know? And do you want — you wanna know why, Yoongi? Well, I'll t-tell you why —"

As he blinked emphatically at Yoongi, Seokjin must've somehow sensed you across the bar. He stopped dead in the middle of his unsolicited dissertation, wide-eyed with his jaw dropped, and gasped, "Baby!"

Before you could physically brace yourself for impact, he'd launched his clumsy frame out of his seat and collected you in his arms. Within seconds, without time to blink, his warm cheek was smushed against yours. Plush lips fluttered near your ear as he mumbled, "I missed you."

Of course, it'd only been a few hours since he last saw you, but he held you like you'd just returned from years at sea. Breathing deeply and contentedly, likely taking in the scent of your shampoo. Gently clutching the fabric of your jacket in his hands as if you'd float away otherwise. You had no desire whatsoever to burst that perfect, loving bubble, so you simply squeezed him tighter and told him that you'd missed him more.

Over his shoulder, you saw relief wash over Yoongi's face. No longer held hostage, he scooted himself out of the booth and immediately twisted in place to crack his back.

How long had he been stuck in there?

"Thank fuck," Yoongi sighed as he proceeded to crack his neck. He rolled his shoulders while answered the question you were about to ask, "Twenty entire minutes. Barely paused long enough to breathe, so I thought, shit — what if he dies here? I was scared I'd have to spend the rest of my days in this booth."

Seokjin, who still hadn't untangled himself from you, simply giggled. With his cheek remaining flush to yours, you could feel him grinning. He offered nothing whatsoever in his own defense, so Yoongi waved at you and turned to head off towards the restrooms.

You called out after him, prompting him to turn around. "What's so stupid about science?"

Yoongi's mouth stretched into a straight line across the entire bottom half of his face; his eyes narrowed to match. He heaved yet another sigh, gestured languidly to the half-cut fiancée clinging to you like a vest, and smirked, "He's convinced you hung the stars in the sky."

You would've melted into a puddle on the spot, but then Seokjin piped up and promptly shot your unsuspecting, lovestruck heart over the moon instead.

Abruptly changing the subject, he whispered — suddenly serious, as if it was the most important question in the world:

"Did you like the book, baby?"

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youthinluv · 6 months

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parallel lines

You tell me you love her, I give you a grin Oh, all I ever wanted was a life in your shape So I follow the white lines Keep my eyes on the road as I ache

sypnosis ; parallel lines never meet, they go on forever and never touch. same with perpendicular lines. they meet once but then they drift apart. forever.

pairing ; shen ricky x fem! reader

wc ; 3271

genre ; angst, non-idol! & highschool! au

tags + warnings ; swearing, unrequited love, one-sided pining, hurt no comfort, mixed signals, love triangle (kinda), zb1 members featured, ricky's oblivious but reader's also kind of a coward and insecure

playlist ; strawberry blond - mitski, yours - conan gray

author's note ; I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG RAGHHH 😭 the ending fell a little flat because i was really rushing to get this out since it was long overdue huhus. i kinda wish i executed this entire thing better but oh well !

——— “Do you ever plan on confessing or are you going to keep hoping he’ll somehow notice you?”

Gyuvin asks you out of nowhere, almost throwing you off from the rhythm game you were playing.

“You bitch! I almost lost my combo because of you!”

You punch his arm once you finish the round, trying to change the subject. “And keep your voice down, someone might hear you.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, idiot. I’ve known you long enough to know how your mind works.”

“Shut up! Okay, look. He doesn’t even know me like that even though we’ve been going to the same school for years now. Despite all that, we’re only classmates. See where I’m going with this?”

Gyuvin then shoots you a look of disbelief. You stare back at him and you both sit in silence. As he turns back to his food with a sigh, he seemingly spots something and immediately turns back to face you.

“Hey, don’t make it obvious but I think Ricky’s looking in our direction.”

At this, you immediately look his way and briefly make eye contact with him. As you lifted your hand to wave at him, your view was blocked by someone sitting in front of you.

“Hey! Sorry, I got held up. Did I miss anything?”

“Alexa! Don’t worry about it. You didn’t miss much anyways.”

you resist the urge to sigh, dropping your hand and focusing your attention on your other friend.

Alexa was a newer friend to you compared to Gyuvin, whom you’ve known since your childhood.

She was a transferee and yet she was already considerably popular in school, which made sense because she was the full package. Pretty, nice, a straight A student, and well off. Still, she chose to hang out with you two, which came as a surprise for you.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Are you okay?” Alexa calls out, waving a hand in front of you. “Everything alright?”

“Ah, yeah. I was just thinking. Don’t worry about it.”

“Hmm... care to share with the class, then?”

At this, you look at Gyuvin, debating on whether or not you really should be honest with her. You look back at her and find her looking at you expectantly. You bite your lip, hesitating before deciding to tell her.

“Say… I don’t mean any offense to this, but why do you hang out with us? We’re like, nobodies compared to you, so it’s kind of surprising to me that you’d hang out with us instead of the more popular kids.”

Alexa’s expression morphs into a surprised one, mouth forming an ‘O’ at the question and seemingly taking no offense to it, to your relief.

“Ah well… compared to them I can definitely be myself around you guys. It’s too much pressure to keep up an image for them, it‘s no fun…” she mumbles. You exchange glances with Gyuvin as he decides to change the subject to something else.

You start to zone out and block their conversation as you look back to Ricky, who was still looking in your direction, and you two lock eyes. Not knowing what to do, you show him a small smile and he returns it, before looking away and back to his friend group.

———

“Alright everyone, we have a dyad project coming up. This’ll take up a big percent of your grade, so you have to take this seriously. That aside, I’ll be selecting some students to draw a piece of paper with their classmate’s name and whoever they draw will be their partner for the project.”

The teacher states.

One by one, he reads names off a list and they all draw their respective partners.

“Shen Ricky.”

He calls out, and you hold your breath. As well as like, 5 other girls in your class.

Everyone carefully watches him pick out a piece of paper and unfold it.

“Y/N L/N?” he calls out and your head snaps up so fast you could’ve sworn you almost broke it.

You wave him over and you can hear a few people grumble and sigh in disappointment here and there as he approaches you.

“Hi.” you smile at him politely.

“Hey.” he smiles back.

You look across the room to look at Gyuvin, who was paired with Gunwook. He lets out a chuckle at your wide eyes and wiggle his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

———

“So you’re Y/N? I’m Ricky, it’s nice to officially meet you.”

Ricky smiles warmly at you as everyone is left to discuss with their partners.

“Oh, please, there’s no need to be formal! We’re classmates, so don’t worry about it. It’s nice to officially meet you too.”

“Mhm. I don’t know if you remember, but I hope you didn’t find the little thing back in lunch earlier weird. I don’t normally do that.”

“You don’t normally stare at randos in school?”

You tease, amused at how Ricky visibly tenses up and gets ready to explain himself.

“I’m kidding, don’t work yourself up over it. If we’re working together, we might as well get to know each other a bit better. Or, something along those lines.”

His shoulders then sag as he relaxes and chuckles. You two hit it off pretty well and spend the rest of the period warming up to each other.

———

Your screams become muffled as you bury your face into a pillow, kicking your feet and thrashing around frantically.

….

“Are you done yet?”

Gyuvin plops down next to you, looking at you with disgust as you look up and stop.

“I don’t know what I’ve done in my past life to deserve this, but I can’t believe this is happening! I’m gonna get on my knees and start thanking all the gods above.” “Please don’t.”

You throw the pillow you were holding at him, as the exchange erupts into an argument.

“But seriously though, what are the odds that we’d get partnered up! It must be a sign.”

You grin as Gyuvin groans.

“Girl, please. Half of the school’s population is also crushing on him as well, so I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.”

“Okay, okay, yeah. But does half of the school have his number too?” You pull out your phone, showing him the contact you had saved for Ricky. He rises from his position and snatches your phone to get a better look.

“Holy shit, you actually have his number….”

Gyuvin mutters, handing the phone back after a quick scan.

“Still, is that really a flex? I have his number too, because, y’know. We’re literally friends? If you wanted it that bad I could’ve just given it to you.”

He laughs as you scoff. As you were about to hit him for the nth time that day, your phone suddenly lights up and you see that it’s a text from Ricky. Seeing this, you immediately shoot up from your position.

“Shut up! Ricky texted me, hold on…”

You trail off as you frantically fumble your phone around.

‘hey! hope this isn’t a bad time but are you free tomorrow? we can discuss the project details at a cafe somewhere if you are. my treat :)’

The text read.

A pause came before you started shrieking in your pillow once again.

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up!” Gyuvin groans in annoyance, you sit up and quickly type a reply back.

‘hi! yeah, that sounds great <3 just send me the details and we can meet up by then.‘

———

“Hey, thanks for the free food, really. I should treat you next time as thanks.”

“It’s nothing, really.” Ricky places the tray down, setting their respective orders on the table. “I looked over the project and it seems easy so we don’t have to do much. We can honestly just use the time given as an excuse to hang out.”

“...You wanna hang out with me more?”

“Hm? Well— yeah. I dunno, I feel like I can be more like… myself? When I’m around you, which is refreshing to me.” he trails off, pausing to look at you.

“Was that weird? I’m so sorry, just ignore what I just said. Your boyfriend might get mad so—”

“Boyfriend?”

You echo, flabbergasted and wondering who he was talking about.

“Huh? Yeah, Gyuvin? I know we’re friends but he hangs out with you a lot. We keep asking if you two are together but he avoids the question every time.”

Your eye twitches and you force a smile, horrified to think that anyone would mistake you and Gyuvin as a couple, let alone conceptualize it.

“Oh. No. Gyuvin and I aren’t dating. Like, at all. We’re actually childhood best friends so I guess that's why we’re always together.”

Ricky’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape, nodding in acknowledgement. “Oh! I’m sorry then. He hadn’t really told us about you that much so we always just saw you as some mystery girl who he was always with. The fact that he’d just act weird when asked kinda left us questioning. That was also why I was looking at you that one time during lunch, so. ”

You nod, taking note of this. The subject changes and the little “date” carries on but Ricky’s mention of your best friend’s behavior still lingers in your mind.

You were to ask Gyuvin about it later that night.

———

Weeks passed by and you and Ricky quickly grew closer to each other. The cafe became your regular hangout spot and they constantly met up from that point on, even outside of school purposes.

“Oh my god, hey Y/N!” Alexa calls out and walks next to you as you return her greeting.

“Girl, I saw you at a cafe yesterday with a really cute guy. Is he your boyfriend?” She asks with a teasing smile on her face. Your face burns up, as you hesitate to answer.

“Ah, no… I got paired up with him for a class project, so we’re not that close.”

“Seriously? So is he single?” she tilts her head.

“I guess…? I mean, I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

You start to be more vague, not liking where this conversation was going. Alexa notices the change and your unreadable expression.

As she was about to say something else, the bell rings and you use that as an excuse to rush to your class, muttering a quick ‘bye’ and leaving her behind, confused.

———

“So you just left her behind there?”

“Yeah, and I feel so bad! She didn’t even do anything wrong which makes me feel even worse.” you groan, head in hands as you and Gyuvin walk home from school.

“Well, why don’t you just tell her that you like Ricky? Maybe she’ll stay away from him if you do, she’s too nice to steal someone’s crush away.”

You look over at Gyuvin, a little frustrated trying to figure out how to handle the situation. “That would mean I have plans to pursue him, and he’s like, way out of my league. Man, couldn’t you think of something else?—”

Gyuvin abruptly stops in his tracks and seems panicked. Confused, you look to the direction he was looking over at and your eyes widened.

You see Ricky and Alexa laughing as they stepped out of the same cafe from yesterday, drinks in hands. Upon seeing so, you instinctively grab Gyuvin and pull him away from their view. You two try to discreetly stalk them as they walk in the opposite direction.

Once they were out of view, Gyuvin pulls away and looks at you, unsure of what to say. You had an unreadable look on your face, equally unsure of what to make of the situation. In the end, you simply sigh and usher your friend to move along with a quiet “let’s go.”

———

Ever since that day, you started avoiding both Ricky and Alexa. They constantly sent you messages which you’d ignore, on top of pretending like you didn’t see them whenever they’d wave or look over to you.

However, you were unsure if that really was the right choice, because that only allowed them to spend more time with each other. In the middle of your avoiding and ignoring, you’d see them walking in the hallways and eating lunch together. Rumors about them dating have already started because of their sudden closeness and it became a hot topic pretty quickly.

One day, you and Gyuvin were over at his house to hang out and you couldn’t help but burst and rant after losing a round to him.

“God knows what I should do! I feel like it’s too late for me to go back on what I’ve done since I’ve been ignoring them for days now and it’s a little embarrassing to talk to them out of nowhere.” you finish.

“Maybe it’s better for you to talk to Ricky and Ricky only. This way you can communicate, tell him everything and probably even confess to him. At the rate everything’s going, it’s now or never.” Gyuvin tells you, putting down his controller and watching you throw yourself on his bed face down.

After a brief silence, you mutter a muffled “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

Getting up and grabbing your phone, you look for Ricky’s contact and see his recent message from yesterday.

“hey. it's been a while. is everything alright? you’ve been avoiding and ignoring me all of a sudden. please let me know if i did anything to offend you and i hope we can talk again soon. i’m sorry.” it read.

Biting your lip, you hesitate, thinking of what to say. After typing and deleting your message back and forth, you were finally able to send him a message.

“hi. I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened. are you free tomorrow? i was hoping to talk to you. does the nearby park sound good if ever?”

It took less than a minute for Ricky to respond, taking the best friends by surprise.

“oh my god, you responded. and ofc, it’s all good with me, i’m free tomorrow. i’ll see you then.”

You stared at your phone, rereading the short convo you two had. Getting up, you look over to Gyuvin to tell him you’ve made up your mind.

“I’m confessing to him tomorrow.”

“Seriously?” He was completely surprised at this. “I mean– go for it! I can’t believe you finally have the guts to tell him.”

“Yeah. You were right about the now or never thing. I’m gonna tell him no matter what happens. The sooner I do it, the sooner I’ll get over it. It’s much better that way.”

You sigh and grab your bag. “I’m going home. It’s getting late.” “You want me to walk you home?”

“Nah. I kinda need some alone time right now. Y’know, to figure out what to do and say tomorrow.”

“Oh okay, get home safe.”

You exchange goodbyes, and leave Gyuvin’s house.

Unbeknownst to you, the boy is left behind alone with negative and conflicted feelings to your plans.

———

The park was quiet, which was unusual. It made you feel even worse than you already did, as if it was a reminder about your impending doom.

Thousands of scenarios run through your head and you can’t help but wonder if it was stupid for you to continue hoping that you’d still have a chance. That maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way towards you after everything you’ve been through.

You easily spot Ricky at the spot you decided to meet up at. It took you by surprise how early he was, but the feeling was quickly replaced with dread as you approach him. The thought of bailing crossed your mind but it was quickly erased when Ricky noticed you.

“Y/N!” he called out, and stood up, gesturing to you to sit in the empty space next to him. As you do so, he looks at you expectantly, trying to guess if he should go first or not.

“I am… so so sorry for the way I’ve been acting these past couple weeks. I should’ve at least tried to communicate with you instead of leaving you in the dark.” you start.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright, I promise. I was just worried that I did something to offend you, or that something happened. Don’t work yourself up over it.”

You nod and stare at him, trying to figure out what else to say to keep the conversation going and make it go your way.

“Um, so how’s life been going for you?”

The way his face almost instantly brightens doesn’t go unnoticed by you. You could feel your heart drop to your stomach as you could already assume what it was about.

“It’s been going well, actually. I started talking to this girl, Alexa was it? She’s your friend, right?” he asks and you almost couldn’t bring yourself to nod. At this point, you were just waiting for him to say it outright so you could confirm it.

“She’s a very nice person,” he continues and seems to hesitate and lowers his voice “you’re actually the only person I’m telling this to, but I actually really like her. I plan to confess and ask her out next week.”

Ah. There it is.

You purse your lips and abruptly stand up, interrupting Ricky and he asks what’s wrong. “Ricky, maybe it’s better for both of us to stop whatever this is. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Being friends?”

“Yes! If that’s what you think this is, then sure. Let’s stop being friends.”

Ricky stands up as well, you look up at him towering over you with a confused expression. You could’ve sworn he looked pained as well.

“Why? I thought we already sorted things out? Wasn’t that the whole point of meeting up here? Did I do something wrong?”

He grows desperate at your silence and lack of response, voice slowly raising. The fact that he even cared enough to fight against the idea made things even more complicated. You thought it’d be easy, and that he wasn’t attached enough to actually care.

“What’s it to you anyways?” you couldn’t help but snap at him, a little mad that he had to complicate the situation.

“Because we’re friends! I genuinely enjoy your presence! Did all of that mean nothing to you? Can’t we just––”

“It’s because I like you, Ricky!” At this point, tears were spilling from your eyes. “I’ve liked you for fucking years now and it hurts to know that I‘ll never have you. I was always a nobody at school, and I was fine admiring you from afar. But now that I know that I was so close, yet so far pains me.”

…

Silence overtook the conversation as Ricky’s face softened, any trace of desperation leaving his face and being replaced with an unreadable expression.

“I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t. I can’t even blame you. You’re way out of my league anyways, you and Alexa are a great match.”

You sigh, wiping your tears.

“I’ll be going now. I’m sorry it all turned out like this, really.”

As you walk away, Ricky calls after you and you turn around, deciding to give him your last words.

“It’s not your fault, Ricky. It’s mine and only mine. Maybe I was just unlucky, or maybe I just gave myself too much hope. But all I know is that something about you made me feel a little more alive and far less lost. Thank you.”

And with that, you walked away and decided that from there on, you’d go back to being strangers to each other.

#ricky x reader #ricky shen x reader #ricky scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #youthinluv

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shannankle · 3 months

Text

My Running Thoughts on DFF (Episode 5)

It's interesting to see their early motivations and varying levels of investment in this project

We also are getting insight into who is a follower or not. Cause from what Por said to convince Tee, it seems like Jin wants to do the project but not if Tee doesn't

Interesting that we first see non as a reflection as if he is a ghost or not fully present

Awww he's so awkward. Interesting that they play his entrance kind of creepy awkward

Clearly there's something between him and Jin sparking. Does that mean Phee is non? Or will he be a target? So much to speculate on, I got to be patient

And clearly these guys are assholes at least Top and Por, geeze guys

Jin seems like the only nice one here, waiting for that shoe to drop, cause he seems like a follower maybe

Oh what a cool shot with the 2 hallways. One side with people the other where Non is alone. Like his reflection, he's separated socially. And Jin is crossing that threshold

Oh and they're pulling in the use of reflection again. This time Jin is with Non but separated from Por

Jin seems to know a lot about Non's interests. I mean he was reading a book but does Jin know this stuff from rumors or is he already observing him

Por is taking on a weird level of authority and acting like he's doing this for Non and his benefit

Okay how conscious is Jin of the fact that he is flirting?

Oh another catholic school eh? Shadow parallels, hello. But it does fit the fact that this is pulling on Western slasher horror.

I really want to know what the writing on the board says, especially since we get the contrast of Por vs Non writing something

Okay so even the Janta cult stuff came from Non so like clearly its not necessarily based in legends about the forest near Por's cabin. That does make me less inclined to think the cult stuff is part of a supernatural component (though I do still think there is some element of the supernatural).

Por clearly trying to fight for leadership and control by harassing Non over the ending and physical copies. And here goes Top. Aww Jin's at least standing up for him a little, but maybe fight back a bit more

Oh and Non's so resigned telling them to call him whatever, I'm adopting him immediately and all these other boys are on my shit list

Okay what's Tee's deal? They lingered on him a bit too long

Noticeable that Fluke isn't actively bullying but being a bystander

Another shot of Non very boxed in and isolated with life and motion outside that (cars this case)

And Jin crosses into that space again. Even the first shot of non as a reflection was boxed in the door frame .

Oh it's the same spot as earlier but from a different angle, love that

Awww Jin's little half wave after non turned, boy is crushing

And now Jin is alone in the boxed in space.

Over to Non's house, there're 2 kids in the photos so maybe the killer is Non's sibling? Ah an older brother, New living on his own and struggling. But clearly Non is poor compared to these other boys

Wait I need to go back and see what Fluke said about Tee's dad, cause what if he's a debt collector and somehow related to Non's family's issues with money

Wait did New actually go abroad and is struggling or are they lying to Non?

Hmm pills, so are we going with mental illness here? How very Trin. I mean they could be anything but still. Hopefully this is a good rep not a "the mentally I'll kid cracked" narrative

Oh someone with just a heart for a name in his phone, and they know he takes meds. A boyfriend? Crush? At least someone who cares about him most likely, who might want revenge (could it be one of our new boys?). It's clearly not Jin since he texts next.

And look at that face drop out of a smile. So at this point it might be one sided on Jin's part?

Oh he's wearing a red bracelet I wonder if that'll come back at some point. His backpack is also red, so we could call that his color.

Jin half standing up to his friends and half letting them still kind of win.

Uh oh dragging him to cram school to bully him more uggg

God they're treating him like he's physically dirty. Which is a contrast with Jin who openly touches Non. Ooof brings back memories of kids doing this shit in middle school.

Jin just sort of nodding in encouragement, like dude you need new friends

Are they going to get pissed when he shows them up and not pay the class fee?

Oh I like the teacher telling Top he asked Non his name

Is this the teacher Jin saw in the temple? I'll have to go back and check.

Okay a slight change in tone, why cause he knows math? What the fuck are Por and Top up to?

Another boxy shot, lovely

Okay meds again, does that say diazepam? No it's lorazepam, which is used for anxiety

20 seconds into a call with Por(?) And non is asleep, can't blame him

Ugg okay yeah they decided to play nice for their own benefit

Interesting that only Non and Tee have stronger colors in this scene, especially the redish brown color, what's their connection going to be?

This cram teacher knows how to market his class, just plaster his face all over 😅

Mmm maybe don't offer him a ride this feels iffy and icky

Tee in a gambling house. Is this the family business?

Oh shit was the mule Non's brother and now they'll go after his parents. No, Tee will pick Non to open the account for his uncle

Okay Tee's actually in a bind too, his dad needs meds and he's basically working for his uncle. But maybe go do any other job. This does explain why he's so grumpy and stingy with where he spends his time and effort.

Wait so in the film each character will see the mask differently so does that mean there're 5 different masks? It certainly brings up similar questions and themes about perception in the present.

Non wasn't even in the pitching room, ooof

Polaroid photo, a Shutter reference? Jin, I'm watching you bystander boy!!!

Ditch these guys, Jin. And maybe stand your ground and don't agree to not invite Non. And there he goes silently folding.

Tee needs the money from the film and Por is clearly more interested in just getting the fancy camera, which the proceeds will largely go towards paying back

Jin putting Non in the camera box, I'm getting more Shutter flashbacks

A shadow and boxed in Tee now, he's feeling the pressure

Who just leaves that expensive of a camera unattended? I guess a rich boy

Oh Top, parading as a hero and defender but literally one of the first ones to run. And then the one to kill one of said friends. And of course he breaks the camera and is too scared so he ropes Tee in to protect him

Guys maybe try taking the camera to a shop first, see how much a repair costs. Still might be a lost cause but better than just assuming you'll have to pay for an entirely new one

Fluke pfhdkfk the consumate bystander, he's bystandering so hard he jump scared Top lol. Interesting that he really hasn't talked much this whole flashback

Jin at least being a little smart and catching on that Tee is being suspicious.

Okay Fluke flipping Top off was great? But he's still not helping so still a dick

Oh no the heart person isn't there when Non needs him 💔

Oh shoot Non, please don't take that much. Sighs in relief

Aww Jin is trying to help but doesn't really get poverty huh

They're boxed in visually again but Non is sort of slipping out of the light

Oh, this time Non finally smiles for Jin. Are the feelings starting to shift on Non's end?

And we're back to feeling cornered.

Tee you realize that sounds as incredibly sketchy as it actually is

Is that a bruise or a birthmark on Tee's arm?

Well at least Tee isn't denying that it's not entirely legal, still lying about the risks though

Tee continues to be number 1 on my shit list, but Por and Top aren't far behind

#dff the series #dead friend forever #my posts #my reactions #dff episode 5

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justsomeoneunordinary · 9 months

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Since I already poked into the hornet’s nest a few times, I might as well get this out once and for all and be done with it: In my opinion, character antis and character stans are both two sides of the same coin. Both go into the extreme and more importantly, both lack nuance.

(I came from the MCU Tony Stark fandom into the Founders Tobirama fandom and it’s crazy how much they parallel each other. All fandoms have some similarities, but in this case, the antis, the stans, the tropes, the mischaracterization are so much the same, it’s freaking mind-blowing.)

The thing about the founders characters is that they’re just a footnote in the whole Naruto story—we don’t know enough and that means we have to interpret a lot of things. And naturally, interpretations vary. If you look at Tobirama and decide that he’s some bigot, then you can do that. (I’m not going into the whole racist debate about him, I have already stated my thoughts on that.) To me, though, this is such an incredibly boring interpretation. The fascinating part about the founders is that none of them are morally good characters due to the times they grew up in. Some might be darker grey than others but, in the end, they all have good sides and bad sides and that’s what makes them interesting to me. That’s what makes them 3-dimensional characters, rather than flat ones.

It’s absolutely wild to me that you would want to imagine any character as bigot at all, instead of trying to put yourself into the character’s shoes and try to see where they might come from. We don’t see any of his thoughts ever, we only have his words and what we do with them is up to us. Maybe he did put the Uchiha all in the police to close them off from the rest of the village in hopes it’ll be their demise, but isn’t that a bit boring? Isn’t that also a bit of a wild theory, considering there’s no assurance the Uchiha will perish once he’s gone? If anything, he would want to get rid of them while he’s still around and holds a leadership position. He says he did it to integrate them more into the village and give them a good purpose, and isn’t that more interesting? If he really, genuinely thought that and failed so massively? Doesn’t that make him a way more interesting character, a character with his own weaknesses? Sure, you can imagine the former but I fail to see how that’s more interesting than the latter. In the end, we don’t know what’s true anyway, we don’t know what’s going on in his head, we don’t know how he went from “grown-ups are stupid and just need to make a truce” to being so ready to kill the Uchiha and not believing in peace at first, so we might as well go with the 3-dimensional interpretation, no?

Similarly, people who put him on a pedestal, who believe he has done no wrong, who see him as the good dutiful brother, while Hashirama, in contrast, is in the wrong—how do you take a character who’s so multifaced, who shows intelligence and leader capabilities, who went from not believing in peace to wanting to protect it at any cost, but who’s also way too prejudiced of the Uchiha to the point he threatens a teen before he even knows what’s up, and make him flat? Tobirama is no saint. A man who can create the Edo Tensei and use it often enough that every other Kage immediately recognize it is not a morally correct person. I will not get into the debate if the Edo Tensei is morally bad or not, since killing people is equally fucked up and the point is thus moot because no shinobi is a saint. But the way he talks about the Uchiha is fucked up. Personally, I think it’s hilarious how he calls Sasuke a little shit and how he loses his temper. From an audience view, I love it. But from a character analysis view, it’s wrong. That’s a whole grown-ass man who was Hokage and before that the Hokage’s right-hand man and he wants to attack an Uchiha teen just like that before he even has all information.

If you think he could somehow have been a better Hokage than Hashirama, then you can do that but I fail to see how. I don’t think he’s some bigoted asshole with no good qualities, but he’s not faultless either. We don’t know what is going on in his mind at any time but we see he has good qualities and bad qualities alike, and you can just latch onto one of these qualities and pretend the other don’t exist but in my opinion, that’s how you create a flat character.

(On a different note: I know so many people are mad about the “curse of hatred” thing and I get it but it’s so weird to me that they hate Tobirama for this instead of Kishimoto. This isn’t presented to us as an opinion but as a fact. Kishi came up with all kinds of new things when it comes to the Uchiha and the curse of hatred just was his newest nonsense. Hate the message; not the messenger.)

And while I’m already on the topic of wanting to interpret characters as bigots: Izuna doesn’t have a character. Izuna isn’t even a character; he’s a plot device. People can imagine him however the fuck they want and there’s zero right or wrong. However, I fail to see why people would want to imagine him as a bigot. They heard him saying not to trust the Senju when Hashirama asked for peace and decided clearly, he must be a warmonger, a spoiled little bitch, an idiot etc. Absolutely wild to me. You literally have free reign, you could try to put yourself into his shoes and try to see why he thinks so, why he’s so mistrusting, how it must look from his point of view, and instead you decide to portray him in the worst way possible. I mean, you can do that and no one can tell you you’re wrong, but wow, this could never be me. Sorry, I prefer to imagine characters in a more multi-faceted way than have such a flat view of them.

Now, Hashirama is far more established as a character than Tobirama is but he is, like the other founders, still just a side character with so many unknown variables and a whole lot of freedom for interpretation. But, I think if you somehow think of him as a master manipulator, as someone who’s a bad leader, as an idiot… you can think that. There isn’t enough canon material to disprove that completely. However, if you think that, I think you missed some crucial parts about him. You missed his strive for peace since he was a child, you missed that the Uchiha willingly deserted over to the Senju when Hashirama was clan head and that the Senju were ready to make peace with the Uchiha under his rule, you missed that Hashirama was voted Hokage by a majority. None of this would make sense if he were a dumb, bad leader, now, would it?

Usually, Hashirama depicted as an idiot also goes hand-in-hand with the Tobirama stans who see him as a bad brother. I already talked about this, so I won’t go into detail, but Hashirama rightfully calling Tobirama out when he’s being a prejudiced shit toward the Uchiha doesn’t make him a bad brother. His threatening Tobirama when Tobirama is about to kill Madara doesn’t make him a bad brother either. It is wrong. He’s overly emotional over this and he’s being unfair in that moment but that alone doesn’t make him a bad brother, it just makes him a well-written character who has his own faults. Sometimes he’s too emotional, sometimes he’s too idealistic, and if you see that and decide it means he’s a shit brother and also an idiot, then you can interpret it that way but I couldn’t disagree with you more if I tried.

To me, he’s a good man, a charismatic man who’s trustworthy, who always strives for peace and the best in general, but also a product of his times, a son of his father, a man who goes his path straight ahead and doesn’t look left and right which then leads to fucked up situations such as almost killing himself in front of Tobirama, or also killing Madara in the end instead of trying to find a different way. It makes him interesting.

At the end of the day, my opinion is always, if you have to push other characters down (Hashirama as an idiot; Izuna as a bigot; Madara as a madman), so you can pull up your fave (Tobirama as the only right one, the better leader, the better brother), then the problem is you. It just shows me that you don’t know how to prop your fave on his own and who he simply is when you can’t do it without making others look bad. Sorry not sorry.

(This really happens in so many fandoms—you have a character who’s shown as the good one but then you get to see his bad sides and people latch so much onto that that they then portray him as the devil incarnate. Vice versa, you’re given an asshole character who’s shown to have his good sides and fandom somehow manages to twist it so much that suddenly this character is the real saint. It’s maddening.)

Lastly, Madara is just like the other characters a complicated character with his good and bad sides. I think it’s crazy how some people only see a madman and a terrorist in him, and how others find he was right with everything. Again, you can interpret is such, but… no. He’s a deeply traumatized and grieving man, who believes in peace and wished it badly but saw that it would never be achieved because humans will always fight each other no matter what, and then makes a decision that is nuts. The Infinite Tsukuyomi is utter bullshit even without Zetsu and Kaguya, but he is right in pointing out that there will be no real peace. The problem is just that there’s no perfect answer for that—the answer is democracy, therapy and transparency of the higher-ups, which is a boring solution for the world Kishimoto created because in a world where cool fights go brrrr and friendship is magic a political answer like that is not going to cut it. Which is why he had to come up with a bigger threat and make Madara look insane, even though the points he made were right, only his methods wrong.

My general opinion is, when you have characters that are so little established, that leave so much room for interpretation, I don’t see why anyone would want to interpret them in such a flat manner. I like my characters 3-dimensional, I like to take the good and the bad in stride, and you can do you, that’s fair enough. But if you come to me to put Tobirama in the good light and Hashirama in the bad one, or in converse, to tell me what a bigot Tobirama is, then you’re at the wrong address here, and that’s on that.

#naruto founders #senju hashirama #senju tobirama #uchiha izuna #uchiha madara

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jess-the-vampire · 8 months

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I see all people talking about Belos problems only, and make no mistake I will talk about it too. There’s many things you can say about what character he is and how show plays with him. But let’s talk about other things for a moment.

Am I the only one who thinks that the whole Collectors vs Titans thing is just stupid? Okay, maybe stupid is too much, but it’s just very strange.

In WaD Collector tells us that he and his siblings were doing they cosmic stuff, then his siblings find out about Titans and that they can fight off their magic, they send Collector to little titans, he played with them, then his siblings came and took them all(despite the fact that Collector’s magic doesn’t work on Titan, which didn’t stop him from cast illusions on King somehow), Collector, for some reason didn’t follow them, and then Papa Tita Lyn came, looked around, didn’t saw his kids, saw the Collector and immediately thought that “Well there’s no one here so I guess you did something to my children, so I will put in a space dish.”. And they just left in on that. I thought “okay, it’s collector’s perspective, let’s hear what will Titan say.”, and then Titan is just “Whoops! I attacked the wrong person!”.

Excuse me, what? So he literally just attacked poor kid because there was no one else around to attack? And when exactly he realised he attacked wrong guy? They show that Titan sits in In Between Realm and in season 2 they showed us that Collector was there too. Did they like talked there and Titan was like “Oh, you DIDN’T do anything with my kids, it was your evil relatives? Well that’s pretty awkward now, that I put you in a space dish. But I’m dead now so I can’t pull you out. Sorry!”.

The most baffling thing is that expect us to just accept that he make a mistake and we must forgive him, because at least he was genuine in his desire to protect his kids. The kids that were already taken away.

ok, so i have mixed opinions on the titan and collectors storyline.

now, i do think the concept as far as worldbuilding goes, is really cool. It implies a larger world outside of the titan the show resides on and i adore the designs of both creatures within this universe. I think having this battle among gods that happened eons ago and led to the world in which the isles resides in is something that does add to some of the characters. I love the collector cult, i love that eda's owl beast was a victim of this war who carries resentment to this day about it, i don't even mind king being tied into it.

I think the show set all this up, pretty neat in s2.

But i think it fell off for me in s3.

Like you can kinda tell collector was not supposed to be in the show because really, you could of removed him and changed a few things around and the story could work just fine, king realizing he's a titan can still be used....but this battle among gods really is something that feels a lot more last minute and his relationship with collector wasn't vital to his character that it NEEDED to be there.

it's not like the wittebane story were most of the characters feel ingrained into it, with parallels, and carrying mementos that belonged to them, and living in the same towns, and most of them being distantly related to them.

And i was invested enough in the titan and collector drama, but i really don't think they stuck the landing for me.

WAD especially felt like a mess of a lot of weird inconsistencies and character actions, and it's probably why i sadly didn't automatically click with it like most of the fans seemed to. And while i've talked about belos regarding that, collector and titan dad are probably the other characters that i would say are a mess in this finale.

Now see, i can accept using magic ON titans, i think the assumption is that they only repel collector magic with magic, so if king isn't using magic he's more vulnerable. Granted, i think titan dad's existence has made titan magic more confusing and a lot more overpowered that if we DO get more toh content, we might run into more issues.

i don't wanna drag this post TOO long tho, so if you want me to list all the confusing details that aren't clear or consistent with titan magic you can ask later.

point being, i have less an issue that the collectors got them as much as that this scenario happened and that despite this, and despite knowing the cult, and also being sad about king talking about the titans being wiped out....that the show then says he doesn't understand the concept of death? Like for his arc in WAD to work, you have to believe he doesn't know how death works, but then he has moments like these were you have to ask how? If he thinks they can be saved you think he'd have a different reaction, you'd think he'd try to revive them, why would he feel guilty over them being "Wiped out" if he has no idea what that means and he knows it can be fixed in his head. His whole arc rests on this detail and a lot sorta bungles it.

Like they have this whole scene where collector is supposed to think king is out to get him (As kinda pointless as it was really), but like....if collector doesn't get death....what does he think king means by "Permanent solution" that he gets so upset about it? Cause he heard king say no imprisonment so like....?????

not to mention the chapter about genocide he scribbled out, like what does he think genocide is if he doesn't get death? why does he get so upset about it?

you can totally have this story about an immortal god who learns about death, but with all these extra details it becomes harder to understand why collector doesn't get it and it becomes a bit hard to believe. Is he meant to be in denial? it doesn't seem like that was the intent?

collector also is the point where you notice the trend for redeeming characters in this show tends to be revealing they were just manipulated the whole time, making them a lovable goofball, and them being in the gang. It was fine when it's just a couple times, but it does wear out it's welcome when you realize a lot of them don't get too really account for their actions all to much.

Collector does apologize, but really that's the extent of it outside of turning people back, he just kinda leaves everyone to deal with part of his mess. it would of been nice to have one villian who admits they are at fault without it being blamed on someone else and gets screentime to repent. (Lilith is the closest but she is mostly gone after s1)

now, in PT's case, we never see the scene itself to know how it came off, and i think the intention is for him to come off flawed so him attacking collector in rage could kinda work. But it also is contrasted by his scenes treating him as objectively right outside of this one thing, so even tho the attempt was to turn him into just a dude capable of mistakes, the show kinda still ended up leaning on him being a bit too perfect still for me.

Which doubly is weird because yeah, him being in the inbetween opens a WHOLE can of worms, like how come he doesn't use those cubes ever to talk to anyone on the show? If he has control over showing glyphs, why did ne never do it to anyone besides luz? is it just because of king because he didn't do it for eda? Also how come the other dead titans aren't there with him? Like is this an adult titan thing because some of the skulls looked like they could be from some adults?

The whole thing makes it sound like he didn't care to help until his son was involved, and even then, when he found someone he liked to ask to help.

and hey, i could be cool with the idea the titan is a bit selfish and just cares about who she cares about, and not most other citizens of the isles, but it doesn't come off like that was the intent either.

and yeah, it does raise the question why the titan never just....talked to collector in his prison? like how much power does he have in that place? am i supposed to believe she can't move from that spot? Can he not use the cubes to talk to collector? there's no clear concept of the limits in this episode so you just ask why TD doesn't do certain things the show never proves he can't do.

introducing a figure in this way recontextualizes the whole show now, so now you have to think back and wonder more things like this knowing this info.

i think had we seen titan dad do it in a flashback, and maybe it was a moment of anger and non thinking it could work actually, but we don't get that so that leaves us to think many different things and those all can give us different opinions on her character.

so i think we both have issues, but different kinds of issues.

#toh #the owl house

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anonymouscomrade · 3 months

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aC on vacation

so here's a summary of day 1, more later when i feel like getting the photos off my phone

got to a hotel where my brother and his wife are staying because fuck driving several hours when i should be asleep. google maps sends me to a parallel fucking dimension where the hotel was built on the opposite side of the city. also the roads here are somehow iced over when most of the road leading here wasn't so go figure. we try to get dinner and almost everywhere is closed on account of the snow, except for this hole in the wall chinese takeout place, because if you can count on any place to be open, it's one of these. they make the best general tso's chicken i've had in a long time, it turns out

woke up at like four in the morning for our 7:30 am flight, because by airport logic being only two hours early is tantamount to no-showing. this was right after shit got polar so the roads were covered in ice. at the parking place, i tried and failed to get past a barrier before the lever arm came back down again because it was on a slight incline and i couldn't get enough traction to clear it before it closed. this happened like SIX TIMES, it was some Three Stooges shit

our shuttle takes us over to the airport. i stick to my brother like a little kid to his mom because he's done this before and i have not. the flight is going to be five hours. which doesn't make sense to me because the return flight is only supposed to be three and a half. i dunno, maybe headwinds or something? i'm not a fucking pilot. i'm anxious to get this part over with because, again, never flown before. after waiting for clearance for what feels like forever (justified, on account of ice) we're finally in the air. it's... nothing? it's kind of mundane and somehow boring. one of the greatest achievements in human history and the only difference between this and being on a bus packed full of strangers is there's no road to rumble against that eventually numbs your butt, and also it's several degrees of magnitude faster than a bus i suppose

we arrive at LAX and if i didn't already feel like a fish out of water then oh boy. how the fuck do people live like this? how do you figure out who's supposed to go where? it's like living in the Kowloon Walled City, thought the guy who grew up imagining anywhere big enough to have a walmart counted as a "big city"

we get another shuttle, this one absolutely cramped with people, to get to the rental car place. my brother argues with the guy (who isn't even actually *physically* there, he's somehow doing sales over Zoom or some shit) for like half an hour before telling him to cancel the whole thing. turns out they wanted close to four times what he was originally quoted and weren't budging. we decide to get an uber to the closest In-n-Out, because we're in California, and also starving, so why not. we're standing in line looking a bunch of huge dorks carrying around suitcases. if i was ever going to be mugged in broad daylight it would be right here, right now. i order a double double combo, swap out the tomato for onions because raw tomato has all the texture and flavor of a balloon filled with wet sand, and onions and cheeseburgers go together like chocolate and peanut butter. the burger's okay, i guess. the fries are the most boring fries i've ever eaten. at least it's probably the cheapest meal i'll have while i'm here

we take another uber to get to our airbnb, about 45 minutes out. every other billboard is this guy

we arrive and immediately notice something is wrong. it was advertised as 4 bed. there are TWO double beds. this is pretty good if you're two married couples and not so much if you're the double third wheel travelling with two married couples. there's one room with a folding leather futon and not much else that seems kind of pointless and i decide this is where i'll stay. turns out that futon is the least comfortable sleeping surface ever manufactured in human history and there are maybe three exact positions that are even kind of comfortable enough to fall asleep in while lying on it and not having an iron bar press up into your lower back or your shoulderblade or the back of your neck

END OF DAY 1

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lightwise · 1 year

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Fennec in Season 3 of TBB - Where Will Her Loyalties Lie?

This may have already been obvious to everyone else, but I wanted to put it out there and see what you all think. Ming-Na Wen posted this to Twitter and it has me very intrigued as to what Fennec's role will be in season 3.

In the leaked teaser footage, the only shot of Fennec is of her aiming and shooting...something. Or someone.

When I first heard she had spilled the fact that she would be in season 3 (before we even got the season 3 confirmation in the TBB panel...love that woman) I immediately figured that she would be helping the Batch find Omega.

Then I realized, so far she has been a bounty hunter mainly for Nala Se, the Empire, and other nefarious individuals, and of course as a bounty hunter she never does anything without a price. So maybe she would be hunting down the rest of the Batch members to bring them in?

But then I thought through the fact that in season 1, her objective to capture Omega always came from Nala Se, who ultimately, just wanted to keep Omega safe from the very fate she has ended up in--being used by the Empire to be experimented on. And, I like to think that Fennec was pretty impressed by her during both of their encounters. I sensed a bit of admiration at how resourceful and determined Omega was to avoid capture and stay with her brothers. I think Fennec secretly respects that and has some care for her even if she would never admit it.

So I went back to season 1 to pull some screenshots, because I realized--there is a strong parallel here (and foreshadowing), that Omega is wanted for experimentation, and Fennec wants to help save her.

Omega is standing in front of an eerie stasis tube with a presumably dead alien inside it. As Fennec enters, she says that Omega can only rely on herself (interesting verbiage when she is without most of her brothers both here and where we will find her in season 3), and she reminds Omega that she already knows why she is valuable to the Empire...and by extension we are shown what Omega's worst fear is.

But, Fennec immediately lets her know that she is trying to help her...to save her. Foreshadowing, much?

Finally, after Omega escapes back to her brothers in this episode, Fennec answers a call from Nala Se and lets her know she got away...and also says that she is available if her services are ever needed again.

So, we have a bounty hunter who never misses, who has been tasked with saving Omega multiple times already, who had a very poignant and very specific scene with her in front of a stasis tube/potential cloning experiment, all giving a very intentional and intimate look at Omega's importance in the story. Coincidence? I doubt it.

So what do we think? I think whoever she ends up aiming at in season 3 can't be one of the Batch members. I wonder if maybe Nala Se finds a way to contact her again. Or maybe she is forced to, and maybe Fennec is tasked with finding the Batch again but when she finds out where Omega is, she is willing to help them instead. Maybe Rex somehow has enough credits to hire her to help them figure out where Mt. Tantiss is. Or, really wild thought, maybe Cid has a change of heart and fronts the credits to hire her as penance for what she's done.

Regardless, I sincerely hope that shot is aimed at Hemlock (not one of our boys)...and I hope she doesn't miss.

Send me your wild theories about this!

#the bad batch #the bad batch celebration panel #the bad batch season 3 theories #the bad batch fennec shand #fennec shand #ming-na wen #tbb #tbb omega #omega bad batch #nala se #mt tantiss #mount tantiss #somelightramblings #some light ramblings

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lupinusalbus · 1 year

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What did you think of Kit’s Freudian comment at the con? I’ve seen people dismiss it as a thoughtless statement and others say it means he thinks Jon’s previous romantic relationships are abusive. How did you take it?

It’s a very complex question. One of the things that immediately struck me about Kit Harington’s comments was that he was speaking about the characters of Ygritte and Dany in a different context than what I often see written about them on Tumblr. What I mean to say is that Kit accepts both of these women as having been in "love" relationships with Jon Snow, in the sense that Kit thinks that Jon really loved them. During a different question from the one where the reference to Freud came up, Kit said that Jon loved Dany “fiercely”, but then she “turns a corner”, necessitating that Jon kill her. So Kit seems to accept that Jon loved both of them.

As Kit also said during the Q&A sessions, Jon is not a modern man. Because of the cultural context of Westeros, I don’t think Jon ultimately viewed Ygritte as a sexual abuser, as we might very well see their relationship by today’s standards, or in "meta" readings of their relationship. Yet, because of Jon’s youth and personality, and also his status as a kind of spy among the Wildlings, he is definitely the less assertive partner. Kit seems to be saying that there is something about Jon that causes him to be attracted to a “dominant” woman like Ygritte. The reference to Freud means that he is somehow tracing Jon’s propensity back to Catelyn’s treatment of him.

I don’t know though. I feel like a lot of their dynamic has more to do with Jon’s temperament than it does with his “mommy issues.” Think of other characters in the TV version, such as Theon before he was castrated, or other male characters who we might think of as being sexually bold, or at times even coercive or abusive to women (as is so often the status quo in Westeros). They would have had fewer qualms and tortured feelings about sleeping with Ygritte than Jon did, because …Jon is Jon. He seems sexually conservative (and a better person) by nature. He experiences guilt over breaking his vows, is tortured by the thought of fathering a bastard, and so on. It takes someone like Ygritte, who is assertive sexually (like in the cave scene in the TV series) for him to break his vows. (Note: I know the circumstances are somewhat different and more controversial in the books). I’m not sure how much of this has something to do with Catelyn Stark.

I suppose the story would go something like this: Jon’s self esteem or self-confidence around women was so wounded or messed up by his interactions with Catelyn, that he is now attracted to women who are the controllers or the seducers rather than the other way around. But it could also be due to the natural reticence around women that he seems to possess by temperament.

As for Dany: in order to analyze Kit’s remarks its necessary to take him at his word that Jon loved Dany. We only have the show version of Jon and Dany, but there are definitely some parallels with Ygritte. In their first interaction, Dany attempts to dominate Jon by insisting that he bend the knee, hinting that he will become her prisoner, and so on. As the scripts progress, It seems like she is the one who becomes infatuated by Jon first, and then she flies north of the wall to try and rescue him. He may be attracted to her, but he is also kind of the passive one who eventually capitulates. Is this why Kit thinks Jon is attracted to Dany, because of her assertive qualities, where he also seems to be overlooking the aggressive tendencies? Also, the circumstance of Jon suddenly bending the knee when he didn’t have to do it in order to gain Dany’s support seems to add more fuel to this fire. I can only assume that this dynamic, as written for the show, is what Kit is talking about.

In neither of these two relationships was Jon the pursuer. Maybe Kit wants Jon to have a more balanced relationship in the sequel :)

#sorry it took so long to answer #jon snow #anti daenerys #catelyn stark #kit harington #asks

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definitelynotshouting · 7 months

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hihi ok ok a lot of thinksies incoming

the fact that grian realized he was drawing on everyone while he was asleep and decided to not sleep and ended up having a panic attack and accidentally amplifying scar and xisuma's feelings to the same level its like.. living with a mental illness. you can't be passive and ignore it (which for grian would mean sleeping and hoping he can just *not* do it) but you also can't be aggressive and try to get rid of it (which for grian is not sleeping) you just have to learn to live with it and have it not harm you or other people (which he hasnt found yet)

+ i am loving that we are seeing more of his memories from being with the watchers but not as a flashback but in parallels from present to past (+the past repeats itself) + also your similies/metaphors are delicious "To skirt past the edge of death and fly, a blind and unwitting moth, toward the bright, unspoiled future", "a creeping, crawling notion that the world no longer makes sense, fits poorly around one's shoulders. Like a worn, childhood coat, stained with the devastating loss of innocence" and "he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged, digging into sinew until each fitful thread snaps. His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments. Holding them together has never been a permanent solution; all it ever does is make him bleed." to name a few + HEHEHE IMAGINING MUMBOS IMMACULATE MOUSTACHE

also i might just be vibibg this but i think out of everyone tango feels a sort of parental obligation to grian. hes worried he'll stop breathing in the night, he gets him out of his room, he beams when grian smiles. pearl and mumbo have the sort of betrayed sibling feeling, scar is still trying to hold everything together and xisuma is harbouring the guilt of being the guy who kicked him for the good of the server because they were also good friends. tango has ideas of what is good for grian but being peers ig? also doesn't want to go over what grian wants too much. tango is a little more divided from the others, hes here for jimmy and grian getting better extends to everyone else in their immediate party and further back to hermitcraft and to jimmy and joel and lizzie and everyone

"this would all be so much simpler if nobody cared. But they do, because they're good people" this. this is so bhersnfkksd cause im no stranger to suicidal thoughts and its spot on but then ALSO grian attributing it to their being good people rather than his friends and his saying "they're good people" as if he isn't a good person is so telling in his self loathing

"He senses more than sees Tango level him with an appraising look. As if Grian is a redstone problem in need of solving, of only finding the right tinker to make him function again." i love this. the dynamic of one cahracter being techy/handy in some way and wishing they could fix someone because its so much harder making a person ok again

also also it is so important to me that scar can recognise grian's needs as having wings and can say that they haven't been taken care of and are probably uncomfy but grians so wallowed in his self hatred and refuses to allow himself fundamental upkeep

+ TANGO VOICE IS DELICIOUS

"Grian hesitates. It's somehow both sooner and later than he'd thought he'd have, but… he can make it work. He has to." gODSS he doesnt want to go quite yet because hes suddenly reconnected with these people he lost and it would've been so much easier if he had never reconnected with them in the first place but its so hard to want to die and then be faced with death because all of a sudden you're thinking about that cake you'll never get to bake and wishing death came before you thought of baking a cake

+ tango is our like relief character ig? he doesnt bring all the same weight and its so amazing because a) i love tango b) hes able to be lighthearted and joke and hope and its so necessary with everyone else drowning (even if no one can really tell scar is falling apart)

"Despite the distance and heartbreak between them, Grian knows how the hermits work." MAN. the way he can tell where people have walked and what theyve done, its such a cool mechanic + i giggled a bit knowing Scar made the doorknobs of copper he has a very healthy diet of it /silly

"Tango gives him another one of those long, appraising looks. Then, before Grian can unclench his jaw to ask, Tango pulls back altogether, bringing his other hand up to twist the cork. It frees from the bottle's mouth with a musical plop, and without the faintest twitch in expression, Tango smoothly offers it out again." THIS!! its sad because in a way you know tango hoped grian would be able to open the bottle himself at some point but its also sweet because hes willing to help and take care of grian until that comes

+ grian relishing in the loneliness. sometimes it is just such a privelige to let yourself be sad or lonely for a bit. dont know why

as always its been an absolute treat to read your writing!! boy this is a long one.. thanks for feeding us :P

-🍁

I cannot come up with a coherent response to this rn but !!!!! Please know i am so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ abt this omg!!! This is so sweet and i love love love seeing analysis of my writing it just makes me so excited to see what you guys pick up from it :] this made my night omg thank u

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #ouguggjggh its late and my brain is tired bc i worked all day but !!!!! this made me grin so wide #im so glad u liked the chapter!!!! :D #long post #txt

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littlee-sparkle · 2 years

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KCD Interview

A few days ago Alexandra, writer of Kali hosted a live broadcast in which she answered some questions. I translated and compiled some of them under the cut.

Source

Why Ratan is Shiva and not Vishnu?

⁃ Shiva is a very dual god. He is responsible not only for the destruction of the world, but also for male energy. He can be calm, and fits the plot more than Vishnu.

Will Gods or someone else like Ratan appear in the story?

⁃ No, as it has been already said in the story.

Is Ratan omnipresent or does he only have powers in India?

⁃ I imagined that all gods exist, and just everyone rules in their own territory. So I think that Ratan is omnipresent, but he just commands only in Indian territory.

Why Rita-Shiva and not Shiva-Hatakeshvara? To make it easier to remember?

⁃ Not really, the problem is that Ratan is an avatar. This is pure fiction not from Hinduism, I came up with it myself. The prefix "Rita" I took from Sanskrit. Therefore, I did not begin to take some kind of existing avatar, so that it was impossible to draw a parallel.

Was Ratan created as a child or as an adult?

⁃ Already an adult. I thought about whether to make him a navel if he was not born, but without a navel it would look strange.

How old is Ratan?

⁃ I don’t know, probably a hundred years old.

Will we learn something about Lady Basu?

⁃ Well, of course we'll find out!

Will we return to Kliphagrami again?

⁃ This is a spoiler.

Why the city of Kolkata?

⁃ Because it is literally the city of Kali.

Will we see Amala's father?

⁃ It was just an English man, nothing interesting.

How did you get the idea to write Amrit's scene with Yashvi? Were you afraid that many would not understand it?

⁃ I knew that many people might react strongly to this scene, but I did not expect such a response. This scene came to mind immediately, Amrit is to some extent an antagonist and this very accurately describes his character.

Amrit can be considered an antagonist?

⁃ Yes, he can.

How will Devadasi feel about Amala?

⁃ We'll see.

Amrit performs the ritual only with Yashvi or maybe with others?

⁃ Only with Yashvi. He's not some kind of male prostitute.

How many children are in the Doobay family?

⁃ I won't say, you understand that this is a spoiler.

Does Priyanka know the Amrit's family?

⁃ Well, she knows them.

How many seasons will there be in KCD? When is the story supposed to end?

- 3, but if I don't meet it, it will be 4. According to very rough calculations, the story will end in six months.

How did the Doobays punish Shekhar?

⁃ Beaten up.

Will there be a suicide ending?

⁃ No.

Will there be tragic endings?

⁃ there will be.

What will the ending of the story depend on? Different combinations of stats?

⁃ Yes, different combinations of stats and relationships.

If the ending depends on the stats, then which way is better to go?

⁃ The endings of course depend, but you understand that I cannot say more.

Will there be a choice to take part in Maithuna?

⁃ See for yourself!

Will Ratan somehow react to Maithuna with Amrit?

⁃ Who said that he would.

Why is Amrit talking about where to look for the diplomat's body? Isn't that equivalent to a sincere confession?

⁃ Yes, roughly speaking. This will be discussed in the next update anyway.

Will it be known in the next update why Amrit summoned Amala to India?

⁃ Likely yes. Or you can guess.

Why did Amrit order Ratan if he is a semi-god?

⁃ He did not control him, but gave some instructions. And why so, we will soon find out.

Why is Amala acting like a rude woman? How do you feel about the fact that she is called boorish?

⁃ It is not necessary to be a villain to go for independence, you can choose loyalty. In general, I don’t think that she is rude and has seen worse heroines.

It seems to me that Amala, even on the path of loyalty, is too rough.

⁃ Well, I don't know... The fact is that opinions are divided and I can understand. After all, some people are fine, and some are not. In terms of loyalty, she is already soft, much more so, she must stand up for herself, right?

Which path do you choose? Kindness or Rage of the goddess?

⁃ I won’t say otherwise, a spoiler will slip through.

How could Amala be interested in India when there is a "Rage of the Goddess" stat that overrides her positive attitude towards the religion of the country she is interested in studying?

⁃ How to say interested? I think I said that it was her mother and grandmother who sent her to the Faculty of Indology.

If you were in Amala's place, what path would you choose?

⁃ I'd go straight home. In general, loyalty is closer to me.

Don't you think that the stats contradict each other?

⁃ Kindness and rage are clearly opposite, loyalty and independence are not so different, a person can combine them themselves.

Is Kiran a minor character or will he be part of the "puzzle"?

⁃ He is an important character, in the foreground, but important at the same time.

Why did Amala let her brother come to Calcutta if it's so unsafe there?

⁃ He can't stay with a nanny forever. Amala doesn't know when she'll be back, and he can't be on his own.

In the future, will Kiran find out what is going on in Calcutta?

⁃ He has no choice. He will not be able to miss the entire main plot.

Are there possible consequences after Priya's transfer to Amala's body?

⁃ If you did this, then there will be more consequences from this.

Will we learn something about Lima's relationship with Gabriel?

⁃ Yes, we will find out.

Can one of the gang die?

*mysterious grin*

Hindus at the time of story hate the English, but Lima wears a Sari at Sana's wedding. How do residents view it?

⁃ This is just a small detail that I mentioned in one line, but in general, I think that not everyone likes it and they just stare at it.

Will Sana appear again?

⁃ If she was saved, then it will be, if she died, then...

Will Amala be able to talk to her grandmother?

- I can't answer that question...

What are Amala's favorite drinks and foods?

⁃ Since she lived in Britain all the time, it must be something European. I was not thinking about it.

When can we expect closing branches with our LIs in story?

⁃ In the next update (in September).

"Closing branches" - how is it?

⁃ When a character says: "You either come with me or you leave." And you choose how to act.

Is it necessary to take all paid choices for a high level of relationship with the favorite? Is it possible to skip 2-3 choices?

⁃ Yes, it is possible to skip some scenes. I am not very strict in this regard.

Can we see the wedding with the favorite at the end of the story?

Let's see, I don't know yet.

You didn't plan a lesbian branch in KCD initially?

⁃ Why? Lima was one of the first branches I wrote.

Whose character is the most difficult, in your opinion?

⁃ Killian and Amrit.

Will we learn about childhood favorites?

⁃ At least about youth for sure.

Has Amala been in a relationship in the past?

⁃ Yes she has. She is not a "girl" so to speak.

Why does Lima play so little role in the plot?

⁃ Because she doesn't understand anything and she's scared. As a criminologist, she does her job well. Her strength lies in understanding and compassion.

Have you seen cosplays of your characters?

⁃ I saw Ratan, Killian, Lima. This is very cool! Everyone is very similar.

Are any of the characters bisexual?

⁃ Yes, Lima, which is logical, because she can be with MC or with Killian.

Killian is so lucky, since he found 2 pretty girls at once per square meter.

⁃ I thought that if I give the opportunity to bring Killian and Lima together, then everyone will start saying that he doesn’t care who he is with, but I think it’s nice when you know that other favorites are not sad without you. He is not very affectionate. It's just impossible not to fall in love with Lima!

Do you like Ratan or Killian more?

⁃ I love them all very much! Do you know what I noticed? That it was as if the first season was dedicated to Killian , the second to Ratan and the third to Amrit. Well, Lima is just a bunny throughout all seasons.

Will Amala have a child with a favorite?

⁃ Don't ask me about Mc's pregnancy, I'm not sure I could describe it well. While I do not have a maternal instinct to at least a little imagine what a woman feels at that moment.

How do you feel about the fact that many preferred Amrit to Ratan because he (Ratan) is "sentimental "?

⁃ The beauty of the novel is that people are free to choose what they like. When I create characters, I rely on some type that people like. I can't make everyone the same. Therefore, I am absolutely fine with the fact that someone does not like this or that character.

What level of empathy does Amala have? Doesn't she seem too callous to the feelings of others?

⁃ No, it's just that a lot fell on her. She has many problems, she is nervous and worried. She does not have the strength to empathize with others when she needs it.

In order for Amala not to think about Amrit on the line with Killian / Lima, then it is necessary not to improve relations with him at all?

⁃ Firstly, yes, do not improve, and secondly, she will still have some thoughts, because he is a significant character in story.

Is it possible to expect scenes of jealousy from the MC or favorites?

⁃ Of course.

It seems to me that dark colors suit Amrit rather than light ones, like the costumes in the update. Will there be more outfits? Will we still be able to change the favorites?

⁃ Don't worry, there will still be an opportunity to change your favorites.

Which character is the hardest to write love scenes with, and which one is the easiest?

⁃ In general, I usually tune in easily to the favorite and the scenes are simple. But recently I was writing a scene with Amrit and I felt that there was no vibe of the character, I erased and wrote again. In the end, after 4-5 days, it all worked out. Sometimes they resist. But it's usually pretty easy because I'm "connecting" with the character.

Will there be quarrels between Amrit and Ratan over Amala?

⁃ The conversation will definitely take place.

Amrit:

More interactions with Amrit please! Prior to this update, there were very few of them.

⁃ Of course, he just entered the plot. Now it will accelerate.

Are those feelings and chemistry between Amrit and Amala just a result of some connection that Amrit spoke about or is there a place for personal sympathy?

- Of course, there is personal sympathy.

Is Amrit jealous?

⁃ I think yes.

How do you feel about the rituals of Amrit, don't you think that this is wrong in relation to Amala?

⁃ If he had promised her something, then I would have condemned, otherwise everything is fine.

Did Amrit have relationships with men?

⁃ I don't think so.

Will it be possible to leave Amrit or go to someone else?

⁃ You can dump him.

Will there be an ending with Amrit on the path of the rage of the goddess?

⁃ Of course, where will he go?

Does Amrit have duties to conduct rituals of this kind, as in the renewal? Will this mean that during the relationship with the MC, these responsibilities will continue?

⁃ There will be a conversation about this, you will soon find out the answer.

Tell a fact about Amrit!

⁃ He's sexy.

Ratan:

How did you create the image of such a sensual and courageous Ratan?

⁃ I just imagined a person who is calm, reasonable and at the same time lives a very long time.

Why did Ratan fall in love with Amala? For her chic sari?

⁃ Undoubtedly.

Will Amala show her love and tenderness towards Ratan along the branch?

⁃ Of course she will.

Can Amala and Ratan's branch hurt Ratan in the final?

⁃ Yes.

Is there a chance he won't die at the end of the Ratan route?

⁃ it's all in your hands!

Was Ratan a virgin?

⁃ I dont know! I don't think so, but who did he sleep with? He's a deity.

In the latest update, Ratan announced that he is an avatar of God Shiva, and literally: "I have no power of my own or my own consciousness." His body and mind is the mind of Shiva.Then how did it happen that love for MC appeared? Is this Shiva's love?

⁃ This means the absence of your own body, your own strength, but on a branch with Amala she says: “If you have such feelings for me, then you still have a soul and you are not empty ». His feelings are his feelings, not Shiva's.

Will it be possible to braid Ratan's hair?

⁃ No kidding, but I thought about it! I think it will be very nice.

Will it be possible to replace Ratan's hair in intimate scenes?

⁃ Wait and see.

What is Ratan's favorite color?

⁃ Probably black.

Why does Amala get so scared when Ratan suddenly appears?

⁃ Just the same, because it appears abruptly. This is unexpected for her. People have their own space.

There was a moment when Amala herself found Ratan on the street and asked him: “Are you following me again?” . Don't you think this is strange?

⁃ Doesn't it seem strange to you that you are walking down the street and your friend is standing in a dark corner, looking at you?) Amala lived among people and was not used to the fact that a creature can appear when he wants and sees what he wants.

Does Ratan get hurt by Amala's fears?

⁃ No, I think he's used to it.

In the scene where Ratan leaves Amala flowers - did he watch her reaction?

⁃ He said he didn't. Let's believe him.

Is it possible to avoid the touch dialogue with Ratan?

⁃ No.

Killian:

Will there be a happy ending with Killian?

⁃ Of course, there will definitely be such an option.

How tall is Killian?

⁃ 190. Some people think that this is too high, but my ex was that tall, and I'm 164 and it's quite normal. You quickly get used to it.

Lima:

Can Lima dump Amala?

⁃ Everyone can leave the main character.

What type of temperament does Lima have?

⁃ I think she is a melancholic sanguine. These are the people who can be sharply unsettled by a negative event that affects the most important area of their lives. After this, they can become melancholic for a long time. And those around them will completely cease to recognize in them the former positive and active person.

How do you feel about the fact that some players in the branch with Lima do not like the division into who leads?

⁃ You see, this division is not about who is passive and who is active, it's about who leads. This is when someone takes more steps in a relationship, takes the lead.

Lima will react sharply or more or less with understanding to Amala's leaving her for other favorites.

This will definitely break her heart. But she won't scream, it's not in her nature.

#romance club #kali call of darkness #amala khan #amrit doobay #Killian lightwood #ratan vaish #lima berg #long post

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