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nightmarish-fae · 1 year

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professor blake (alex blake/academic!reader)

a/n: I originally wrote this little one shot as a request for @prentiss-theorem. I usually don’t feel very comfortable with sharing what I write, but I have been badgered (lovingly), so here we go. I am not a native English speaker, all mistakes are mine.

pairing: alex blake x reader

genre: silly fluff

warnings: swearing

word count: 767 (one-shot)

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It was fun, sneaking around with Alex. Not that you were really sneaking around - neither of you needed or wanted to keep your relationship a secret. All the important people in your life knew. But neither of you quite felt the need to tell your colleagues and students at Georgetown when you started seeing each other and eventually, it just slipped your minds. And then, it became sort of a game, seeing just what you could get away with and laughing at how confused people could get trying to put two and two together over shared dinners and glasses of wine.

You couldn’t be happier. When you took the position of Latin professor at Georgetown, you didn’t quite expect the impact the position would have on your life. On your first day, you managed to bump into a fellow professor and spill your coffee on both of you, which, in turn, made you burst into tears. It might not have been an entirely appropriate reaction, but the stress and terrible previous work experience made it too much for you to handle.

Even so, it turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to you. The woman you managed to get your coffee all over, a linguistics professor Alex Blake, blew your breath right away. She was gorgeous. And smart, funny and ridiculously kind. You found out very quickly, because she insisted that the coffee related mishap was her fault, soothed your tears almost immediately and persuaded you to let her buy you another coffee. You knew, on that first day, right after you parted ways, that it was either this woman or no one else.

And you were right. You continued to bump into each other, which in turn evolved into planned meetings when you found out just how much you had in common.

It was easy, falling in love with her. It was easier than breathing. And, by some strange sort of miracle, she fell for you too.

That’s how you ended up cuddling her in your shared bed, in your shared apartment, with a ring on your finger and a cat curled on the bottom of the bed. Sometimes, you felt like crying from how happy you were. It wasn’t all easy. Her FBI job led to late night, dangerous situations and countless arguments. But both of you pushed through, determined to do better for the other one.

“What is going on in that head, huh?”

Alex snapped you out of your train of thoughts, handing you your coffee mug along with a kiss to your forehead. It was your first day back to work after returning from your honeymoon and while neither of you were quite ready to burst the bubble, there was also fun to be had.

“Nothing, just thinking how lucky I am to call you my wife.”

That earned you the sweetest possible kiss, carefully pressed to your lips while those clever hands cupped your cheeks.

“Sweet talker. See you for lunch?”

You simply hummed in response, heading for your lecture with the goofiest smile possible plastered on your face. It was impossible to get rid of. And what made the whole thing even better was what was about to follow. You and Alex made a bet. She insisted it was impossible no one knew about the two of you. You in turn, insisted that the name change was going to come as a shock. The stakes were high, but you knew you had this. Alex overestimated the intelligence of university students.

It was exactly as you presumed. As soon as you walked down the steps, facing your class, a wave of confusion rose.

“I thought Professor Blake was meant to be teaching this class.”

You only leaned back and looked at your nails.

“Well, yes. That’s me.”

Trying not to laugh was almost an herculean effort. Their poor little confused faces as they tried to put two and two together filled you with joy. Eventually, they succeeded and you thought you heard what sounded suspiciously like ‘lucky bitch’ coming from one of the girls closer to you.

“I am indeed lucky, thank you very much. Not sure about the bitch though. Now, because you all managed to score me a weekend getaway with my wife, there will be no pop quiz next week. For the basics…”

As you droned on about the syllabus, your eyes flicked towards the door. It was open and Alex was standing there, leaning against the frame with a hand over her mouth, trying to muffle her laughter.

Life was good.

#Criminal Minds #fluff #criminal minds evolution #Alex Blake #dr alex blake #ssa alex blake #alex blake x reader #alex blake x yn

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gamma-rae-bursts · 1 year

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Home is Where the Heart Is

Yn is a former BAU agent, currently working at Georgetown. She met Alex whilst working for the FBI and is navigating her life with her and their son, Ethan.

Pairing: Alex Blake x Reader

Content Warnings: kind of CM case talk

Word Count: 1800+

Genre: Family Fluff

A/N: I'm going to stand by the fact that Alex Blake is the softest of the soft people, hence this needed to happen. I also hate how little recognition Ethan got in the show so I'm gonna give my boy what he deserves here. I'm thinking of making this into a series of one shots, different Blake Fam x Reader scenarios (may include some angst, knowing me it will) so please let me know what you think of this <3)

Joining the BAU was a dream come true, your way of making the world a safer, better place. And it just so happened to come with many other advantages. Although the beginnings were a little rough for you, feeling very out of place while being surrounded with FBI’s finest agents, soon enough they made you feel like a part of the family, like you truly belonged with them. And throughout the years you got to be a part of the team you’ve formed some of the best friendships with people that you knew you could trust with your life. But there was this one agent you held especially close to your heart, Alex Blake. Ever since she joined the team, the two of you were inseparable. One evening she finally asked you out on a date, to which you have immediately agreed. Falling in love with Alex was easy. Loving her even more so. Months went by and with that your relationship grew, soon enough you were introduced to her son, Ethan. The most precious little boy to ever exist. Not so long after that you moved in together and just a few months in Alex asked you to marry her. And this was your life now, you’ve never been happier.

But there were some definite downsides of the job. After all, there is only so much a human can take, the BAU knew it better than anyone else. There is only so much evil you can be exposed to before it starts consuming you from the inside out. You used to hold onto the last string of hope in each investigation, the hope that the last missing person would be found alive and there would be a somehow happy ending to this story. But at some point, even that was not enough. Over the years you’ve seen some of the worst horrors this world had to offer, you were met with death and misery at every step of your days. You’ve seen families torn apart, lives snatched away prematurely, unnecessary pain inflicted onto so many individuals. You’ve seen enough. You’ve had enough.

Making the decision to leave the team was not easy. You’ve spent countless hours contemplating whether or not to make that step before even mentioning anything to Alex. And after weeks of thinking, weeks of constant arguments in your head, making lists of pros and cons to both options, you finally decided that your time with the team has come to an end.

Breaking the news to the team was easier said than done. You made a detailed plan how to tell each and every one of them personally, but when the time to put the words into action came you came up with a much better idea. Hotch was the first one, after all he was the person you handed your resignation letter to. Penelope was the second in line (or so she thought), you couldn’t stop yourself from making fun of her for the last time. In reality, you told the whole team that you were leaving and what your plan was, except for her. You knew the blonde woman could not hold a secret in for the life of her, so you all made bets on how long it will take her to spill the tea. When you broke the news to her, one on one, you talked about it as if you didn’t want the rest of the team to know. It took her a whole hour and thirty-four minutes to break, telling everything you told her to Morgan and Spencer.

That was it. You were no longer an agent working for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Just a short few weeks after leaving you managed to secure yourself a nice position as a lecturer at Georgetown University, finally putting your PhD in Biological Sciences to use.

***

Working at Georgetown was peaceful, the change you so desperately needed. There wasn’t much going on, your days mostly consisted of teaching, going over the material for your classes and marking your students’ papers. To some it might seem a little too boring, but you loved the newly found routine.

After finishing marking of the last papers, you’ve had for the day it was time to go home. Alex was away on a case for the past few days and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t hope for a phone call from her, telling you that they’re on their way back.

Just as you got into your car the sound of your ringtone filled the space, getting rid of the silence that previously surrounded you. You smiled to yourself as you read the name that popped up on your screen.

“Hi honey.” the soft voice on the phone spoke, “I think I might have some good news for you.” Alex added, you could tell she was smiling from the way her voice sounded.

“Please tell me you’re coming home; I don’t think anything else would classify as good news at this point.” you replied to the brunette, hopeful you got it right.

“I am, indeed, we’re wrapping up at the station and we’re going to head straight to the jet.” your fiancé said with the usual for her calmness, you, on the other hand, could not contain our excitement. “I’ll see you in a few hours?”

“I can’t wait! I’ve missed you so much baby, so did Ethan” you stated, your voice filled with excitement. “He’s been begging me to do crosswords with him at least five times a day and you know how much I suck at them”

“Oh, come on, you’re not that bad” Alex chuckled, “I’m sure you’ve got at least one of the words right.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at your fiancés’ words, the bar for you was set really low, yet somehow you still managed to underperform. “Nope, not a single one, I don’t think Ethan will ever stop making fun of me for that.” Alex laughed as the words left your mouth, “but what can I say, I’d like to see either of you in my lab”

“I think putting me there would be a major safety hazard and you know that” the linguist added, still laughing at your previous statements. “I’m gonna have to go now but see you in a few hours, I love you sweetheart”

“I love you too, Lex.” you assured, after which Alex finished the call.

On your way home you made a few brief stops to run some errands, you also picked up some of Alex’s favourite takeaway. Cooking wasn’t your strong side, but baking was, and your fiancé was completely aware of that. You usually opted for ordering food when it was your turn to make dinner, another effective tactic you’ve developed over the months was trading your cooking turns by agreeing to make some of Alex’s and Ethan’s favourite desserts.

The last stop you had to make on your way home was the little boy’s school.

“Hi Mama!” the squeaky voice roamed through the space in your car as Ethan entered it, making himself comfortable in his car seat.

“Hi honey, make sure to fasten your seatbelt” you replied to him softly. Ethan was a complete copy of Alex, dark, somewhat curly hair forming beautiful waves, big hazel eyes, contrasting with his pale skin, which was covered in light freckles, a precious addition to his face. “How was your day at school?”

“It was okay!” the little boy cheered to you, “Is mommy coming back home tonight? I really miss her.”

“She is actually! I’ve just talked to her and she should be back in the next few hours,” Ethan’s eyes lit up at your words, “don’t you worry you won’t have to do crosswords with me again” you added chuckling.

“I love you mama but you’re really not good and them.” E.T. teased, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

You laughed in response to the dark-haired boy’s words. The rest of the drive home was peaceful, Ethan told you some more details about how his day at school went, talking about some of the friends he made, the teachers and what new things he learned that day. It wasn’t long until you reached your final destination, you took the food out of the car and the two of you started heading towards your apartment.

When you opened your front door a lovely smell of your favourite dish filled your nostrils, that’s when you knew Alex, was already home.

“Alex?” you questioned as you and Ethan started taking your shoes and coats off

“In the kitchen!” the woman exclaimed, you knew she had a habit of giving you the wrong time when she planned to come back home, wanting to let you know she was coming back yet still wanting to somewhat surprise you.

“MOMMY!” Ethan called as he ran to the kitchen, filled with joy and excitement to finally have his best crossword buddy back in the house. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“Aw I’ve missed you too love bug,” she said as she gave the little boy the biggest hug she could, simultaneously picking him up. “And you, I missed you too” the dark-haired woman smiled as she directed her gaze your way.

“You said you’d be home late in the evening!” you jokingly snarled as you took a few more steps towards her, letting her place a soft kiss to your cheek.

“You can’t blame me for wanting to surprise two of my favourite humans with a nice meal, can you?” she giggles as she put her son down.

“I see we’ve had the same plans Doctor Blake” you smiled as you put the bag with Alex’s favourite takeout on the kitchen island, at which Alex laughed and proceeded to place anther soft kiss, this time on your forehead.

The evening went by peacefully, filled with laughter and Ethan’s snarky remarks regarding your crossword skills. You decided to have Alex’s pasta for dinner, saving the takeaway for the next day, or a midnight snack. Etty was delighted to finally be able to do some crosswords with someone qualified and you just enjoyed watching the two people you loved most. The three of you ended the evening snuggled up on the couch of your living room, Alex in the middle so both you and Ethan would get equal amounts of hugs that you so dearly missed. You decided to watch one of Ethan’s favourite disney films, Frozen. As much as you didn’t want to admit that in front of Alex, it was one of your favourites too. The little boy ended up falling asleep halfway through the movie, snoring gently as he was curled up, wrapping his arms around Alex. When the film finished, you carefully took him to his room, tucking him in his bed, leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead. You joined Alex in your bedroom, wrapping your arms around her in an attempt to hold her as close to you as possible until both of you drifted off to sleep.

This was your happy place. Your found family. Your home.

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#alex blake x reader #Alex Blake #reader insert #Ethan Blake #family fluff #domestic fluff #soft Alex Blake #criminal minds #bau team #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #y/n fics #ssa Alex Blake #dr alex blake

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alexblakeisgay · 8 months

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Between the Blues and the Pinks (Ch. 1)

Ship: Alex Blake/Emily Prentiss

Summary: The Baby Blues: The temporary feelings of sadness following having a baby. Also known as Postpartum Depression. The Baby Pinks: The mild mania experienced following having a baby. Also known as Postpartum Euphoria.

Warnings: Mental health issues, postpartum mood disorders.

Word Count: 574

Author's Note: First of all, I would like to warn anyone who reads this that this will not be a happy fic. It's going to deal with mental health issues and it's going to get kind of dark. It does have a happy ending, no one dies, everyone gets better...but it goes through a pretty grim place to get there. I'd suggest erring on the side of caution if that kind of stuff triggers you.

Tagging: @ssa-tahlia-obsessions bc I promised her a chapter of something today.

Alex fidgeted in her chair. Not because it was uncomfortable...though it was. Not because the baby was pressing against her ribs...though it was.

It was because of her therapist's expectant stare.

It had been exactly eight and a half minutes since either of them had spoken. Alex knew because she'd been watching them tick by and wishing they'd move just a little faster.

In spite of herself, Alex blurted out, "Your clock is two minutes and seventeen seconds slow..."

Her therapist – Dr. Tara Lewis – asked, "Alex, is there a reason you're avoiding the question?" She raised a curious brow, flicking her pen back and forth.

"What was the question again?" Alex asked meekly. She'd been so caught up in timing the slow clock that she'd forgotten.

"I asked why you think it is you're not excited about your twenty week ultrasound..." Tara repeated herself.

A beat.

"Oh..." She heaved a sigh, remembering why she'd been avoiding the question in the first place. Unfortunately for her, though, she'd more or less run out of excuses. "I suppose...it's because I'm afraid of what the doctor will tell me," she confessed.

Tara nodded. "And why is that?"

"Because of Ethan," she said softly.

Tara nodded, wrote a note in her ledger. "Ethan's condition wasn't apparent on ultrasound?" she asked. When Alex nodded, she continued, "What makes you think this baby will have Ethan's condition – or, indeed, any condition?"

Alex began gnawing at her cheek until she tasted blood, reticent to say. But she knew that, ultimately, she needed to be honest... "Because I don't deserve a healthy baby."

Tara began writing furiously. After a moment, without looking up, she said, "What happened to Ethan is not your fault and the universe – or whatever you might believe – doesn't dole out cosmic feedback like that."

"It was my fault, though," Alex insisted, "I carried the defective gene. It's my fault he died."

Nodding, Tara suggested, "My advice is that you discuss this with Emily. And together, you should discuss amniocentesis."

"I'm upstairs!" Emily hollered when she heard the front door open and close. But before Alex could come to her, Emily appeared at the top of the stairs, wearing her painting clothes. At Alex's quizzical look, she teased, "I figured it was faster to come to you..."

Alex smiled softly for the first time that day.

Coming down the stairs, Emily met her in the foyer, stole a kiss. "How was your session?"

She'd kind of been hoping Emily wouldn't ask, even if she knew it was inevitable. "It was good," she said, a half-truth.

Emily smiled encouragingly. "It's helping?"

Alex nodded. Another half-truth. "She, umm... She suggested we talk about doing amnio," she stammered.

"I think we should do it," Emily immediately agreed.

Her brows leapt up her forehead. "Really?"

Emily nodded. "If it will give you some peace of mind, I think it's worth the risk." Alex seemed a little surprised by her sudden agreement. "Al, I know this is a huge part of what's been troubling you about this pregnancy and if this is going to help, I say we do it. I'd do anything to make this easier on you; if I could go back in time and wave a magic wand to undo my uterine scarring, I'd carry the baby for you."

Smiling fondly, Alex kissed her again. "It's things like this that make me fall for you all over again."

#mine #fanfiction #alex blake #alex blake/emily prentiss #emily prentiss #criminal minds

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imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years

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Alex Blake and Spencer Reid in “Through the Looking Glass”

A Defense of Alex Blake from an Autistic Person

Disclaimer(s) before I get into this: Autistic people/people with autism are not a monolith. We are all entitled to our feelings about how people discuss/joke about autism, and some of us will find things hurtful that others do not, and those feelings are entirely valid. The opinion stated below is just my opinion and only speaks to my interpretation.

Also please note that Asperger’s is, in the United States, an outdated diagnosis named after a Nazi. It’s been changed in the DSM to autistic spectrum disorder (ASD/autism), which is how I’ll refer to it in this post. I also don’t use “functioning” labels, but an opinion on this scene will obviously change depending on the severity of a person’s symptoms.

That being said, I’m here to explain why I love Alex Blake, why I don’t think this “joke” was ever a joke at all, and why I actually really love these scenes as an Autistic person.

So, to start, I think that this scene is filmed in a way that leaves it very open to interpretation. I personally find that myself and a few of my autistic friends interpret it a way very different from most allistic (non-autistic) people I’ve talked to.

This scene is, above all, extremely relatable to me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve discussed something just to be unknowingly describing things that apply to me. This exact scenario has happened to me several times, where someone points out as I describe autism that I was describing myself. When I saw this scene for the first time, I laughed. I laughed because I’d been there, and I was watching it happen to someone else. Things always seem more obvious when it’s happening to someone else, ya know?

This scene makes me happy, too. It makes me happy because I can see the love in Alex and Rossi’s faces when they share that moment after it goes over Spencer’s head. A lot of people view it as a mocking smile, but from my perspective I see two people who clearly don’t view autism as a bad thing and are just finding an innocent joy/humor in his obliviousness.

And I think that’s what a lot of this comes down to. For a lot of people (like my allistic boyfriend, for example), implying that someone is autistic is seen as an insult. But I do not feel that way, and I don’t think Alex or Rossi do, either.

In fact, they are two team members that don’t regularly roll their eyes at him or mock Spencer’s autistic tendencies (unlike Emily and JJ, both of whom I love, although they do regularly kind of hurt my feelings, lol). I mean, in this same scene, I don’t see people talking about JJ’s expression, which is clearly (also innocently) screaming “Do you really not hear yourself right now?”

Later in the episode, Alex is once again confronted with Spencer’s relatively obvious autism, and she actually feels bad about the fact that he might’ve understood what she was saying and interpreted her silence as mocking him. But then it’s very obvious that he didn’t realize it, and she’s just kind of overwhelmed with how much she appreciates him for his autistic traits.

It’s not often that obliviousness to social cues or a blunt, non-sarcastic personality is depicted as something admirable, but that’s exactly what Alex does. She tells Reid that his personality is why she loves him, and that she basically thinks that there is nothing wrong with who he is. She does all of this without ever denouncing his autism or speaking in spite of it.

And I think we also have to acknowledge that Spencer specifically said that he doesn’t take offense to the fact she insinuated he is autistic (and doesn’t deny that he is, either). He outright says that he doesn’t take offense to that idea, and I’m guessing it’s because (1) he also doesn’t view it as a flaw and (2) he knows Alex respects him.

We talk about the rest of the team as being close to Spencer because we see it on screen, but Alex and him knew each other before she arrived at the BAU. Their relationship went further back and in more detail than we saw. To her, he is an intellectual peer and a son figure.

So, yeah. Idunno. I think part of why some people interpret this scene as a bad thing is because we view autism as a problem/flaw. But there are autistic people who exist that don’t feel that way. I love who I am, and that includes my autism. Of course, it comes with its own struggles, but I’m forever grateful for a character like Alex who doesn’t take it too seriously. Someone who clearly loves an autistic person for who they are and doesn’t try to change him.

That’s my defense of Alex Blake. You don’t have to agree (obviously, lol), and if you were harmed by her lines as an autistic person, I deeply sympathize with you. We all feel different things about ourselves, and they should all be respected ❤️

And to all the allistic people who made it this far, thank you for listening! I hope this gives you a different perspective of how deeply anti-autistic narratives and beliefs can bleed into how we write, perform, and interpret autistic characters and storylines.

#alex blake #Criminal Minds #spencer reid #through the looking glass #autism #dr spencer reid #bau #long #personal #disability #activism #ssa blake #reid and blake #actuallyautistic

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nerdyjellybean · 3 years

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the team helping Spencer pick up his depression mess that filled his apartment in 8x13 will always be my favourite wholesome moment

#adorable #cute #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #dr. reid #cm #bau #penelope garcia #ssa emily prentiss #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #jj #alex blake #aaron hotchner #hotch

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jegulusofwesper · 3 years

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So @glitterxshlutt has never seen criminal minds so I asked her what she this their names, personalities and sexualities are.

Jason Gideon - “Steve, weirdo and bi”

Dave Rossi - “Geoff, his wife is having an affair, straight”

Aaron Hotchner - “Andy, thinks he’s a lady killer, straight but closeted bi” Aaron, Andy close enough right?

Spencer Reid - “Tyler, only people he can make friends with are kids, gay af”

Derek Morgan - “Maddox, he looks like a baddass but it’s a big teddy bear, pan- he loves everyone”

Matt Simmons - “dan, kinky, gay”

Stephen Walker - “Jason, he thinks he’s top dog but really he’s a dick, straight”

Luke Alvez - “Micheal, is a legit sun beam, asexual”

Will LaMontagne Jr. - “Adam. He thinks he’s a fuck boi but he’s a small dick no boi, he will fuck anything that’ll let him but that’s no one, pan” yano I think will might be her favourite 👀🤣

Grant Anderson - “Ted - short for edward, wants his daddies approval, closet gay”

Ashley Seaver - “caitlin, talks with a really annoying girly voice to make herself seem sexy, straight and boring only does missionary”

Jennifer Jareau - “Tyra, bubbly and kinda normal, closet bi”

Emily Prentiss - “Katie, tsundre for sure, lesbian queen 👑 (i like this one)”

Penelope Garcia - “Kelly, seems annoying at first but would legit do anything to help her friends, asexual”

Elle Greenaway - “Elaine, the annoying pick me girl, straight”

Tara Lewis - “Marie, top energy, bi queen, (milf)”

Alex Blake - “Karen, reallllllly annoying but gets the job done, so straight she doesn’t even touch herself”

Jordan Todd - “Emily, soft but will cut a bitch for her friends, Lesbean”

Kate Callahan - “Olivia, kinda annoying but also has the dankest memes, straight but kisses girls when drunk”

Savannah Hayes - “Bonnie, gentle and kind, straight but poly”

Beth Clemmons - “Jessica, perky and a shoulder to cry on, lesbian”

Haley Brooks/Hotchner - “Madeline, always crying about random stuff, emotional, straight”

Maeve Donovan - “Edie, total slut, pan”

Cat Adams - “Leanne, office goof, deffo bi but only been with men”

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unsolvedlwt · 4 years

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who was your favorite temporary member and why was it Blake?

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mccdreamys-writes · 16 days

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alex blake in 8x04

- alex blake gifs | criminal minds 8x04 - god complex

#alex blake #alex blake gif #alex blake gifs #dr blake #dr alex blake #ssa blake #ssa alex blake #ssa dr alex blake #criminal minds #criminal minds gif #804 #8x04 #criminal minds 804 #criminal minds 8x04 #cm 804 #cm 8x04 #god complex #cm god complex #criminal minds god complex

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fannish-jam · 3 months

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Yesterday I remembered Alex Blake, my day has been made better :)

#I'm not read for her to leave #criminal minds #cm #Dr Alex blake #alex blake #ssa alex blake #Blake

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heart-strong · 3 years

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If Alex Blake isn’t your surrogate mom character now I don’t want to be friends

#criminal minds #ssa derek morgan #ssa emily prentiss #ssa hotchner #ssa jennifer jareau #ssa rossi #ssa dr spencer reid #i need a hug #alex blake #ssa alex Blake #mom emotional support character

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neilgayman69 · 5 months

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Watching criminal minds (for the third time) and hotch standing over Reid, basically leaning into him, as Reid replicates the hollow man's writing. I love it.

I can just imagine him being proud of his boyfriend him for being so smart and understanding of so many versatile subjects that he can use to help their investigations. Hotch is most often the one to seem proud of Reid's abilities and it makes me so happy.

#hotchreid #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #aaron hotchner #ssa aaron hotchner #derek morgan #david rossi #emily prentiss #jennifer jj jareau #ao3 #alex blake #fanfic

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nightmarish-fae · 1 year

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fragile line - Alex Blake/Reader prompt fic

a/n: hello there! i come emerging from the depths of a writers block to offer an old prompt fic I wrote for @prentiss-theorem. the prompts were 'How did find out?' and 'Are you ashamed of me?'

as always, i am not a native speaker, all mistakes are mine.

pairing: Alex Blake/Reader

genre: angst

warnings: mentions of casual drinking/smoking if that puts anyone off.

lenght: one-shot

‐--------‐--------------------------

You should have known. You should have known, when you started this…whatever it was that you had going on with Alex that you were in too deep. How couldn’t you be. Alex Blake was everything you had ever dreamed of. And apparently, you weren’t.

At first, it was fun, just sneaking around, making hiding and staying unnoticed a competition. You were glad to be hers, to be allowed to touch her hand, kiss her, make her laugh in the safety of your apartments. Eventually, it became your normal. At first, you didn’t mind. Everything was so new, she was freshly divorced…it made sense. But then a month had turned into four, then eight and at last, a year. But nothing changed.

You loved the brilliant linguist with all of your heart and making her uncomfortable was the last thing on your mind, but this whole thing was starting to make you feel tired. Even when you were together, there was this bone deep weariness and unease settling into your body. Still, you never said anything. You couldn’t bear to lose Alex and at first, telling yourself that you would gladly take whatever she decided to give you worked. But of course you wanted more.

Not much, just…to be able to hold her hand while out and about, to hug her without having to maintain a friendly limit, to be able to moon over her to Penelope and JJ.

It appeared to be a stalemate. Progressively unhappy, yet too in love to do anything about it. But all fragile peace was destined to break at one point. And yours came on what was supposed to be a happy day.

It was your one year anniversary of sorts. While the two of you never outright said anything to each other, you were together anyways. And so you planned for a quiet night in with a good dinner, wine and movie. For a while, the underlying sadness didn’t exist, there was just happiness.

Somehow, you managed to be one of the last people in the bullpen, helping Garcia out. But finally, you were free. Enthusiastically packing your bag, you turned towards JJ, who was packing up as well.

“Alex already left?”

If you knew what JJ was going to answer you would probably never let the words leave your mouth.

“Ah yeah, I think she mentioned something about spending some time with her husband?”

It felt like someone pulled the rug from beneath your feet and you hit the ground in the most painful way possible. You didn’t remember much after that, only that you quickly made your excuses, all but running for your car.

Every single part of you was working on an overdrive, brain coming up with conspiracy theories, excuses and reasons to hate both yourself and her. Somehow, you got yourself home. You had no idea if she was even in there. Heavens knew you didn’t want to be angry, but there was no helping it.

It suddenly felt like you were the butt of a practical joke, reminding you of when you got asked to the prom as a prank.

A small part of you was dreading the confrontation, but there was no avoiding it. Your red rimmed eyes were a dead giveaway. That, any maybe the way the door slammed and your bag flew on to the table. There was no sign of Alex anywhere, which only drove your brain more confused.

Beelining for the fridge, you opened the wine and stalked to your balcony with a glass, which is precisely how the linguist found you when she arrived - leaning over the railing, glass in one hand, cigarette in the other.

“Hi, I brought the-you said you’ll quit.”

Her voice sounded faintly accusing and the gall of it made you whirl around, a sarcastic chuckle leaving your throat.

“Right. Like you told JJ you were…what was it…going to spend time with your husband? Which you don’t have anymore? Unless I’m wrong about that too?”

Alex looked absolutely floored. And guilty. Setting the bag on the table, she took a deep breath, opening and closing her mouth a few times, being speechless for once.

“How did you find out?”

Your eyes widened. Really, that’s what she was going to ask?

“JJ mentioned it. Honestly Alex, I just don’t understand why…”

Suddenly, your brain supplied a very clear reason, one that explained the past year perfectly. You wished you could be more like Hotch, perfectly stoic and calm in face of everything, but you knew there were tears gathering along your lash line and you were shaking.

“Are you…”

Your voice cracked in the middle and you had to restart.

“Are you ashamed of me?”

In the perfect world, Alex would start protesting immediately, explaining it was just a massive misunderstanding. But she was quiet. And when that quiet went on for longer than your brain liked, you’ve had enough.

“You know what? Forget it. Forget I asked. I don’t think I wanna know anyways.”

Storming past her, you grabbed your bag and headed out of the door, leaving her alone in your apartment.

The sound the door made must have sounded similar to what felt like your heart breaking.

#criminal minds #alex blake #ssa alex blake #alex blake x reader #dr alex blake #alex blake x yn #alex blake x you

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