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skzhocomments · 13 days

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The Five Stages of Grief - Bang Chan Oneshot Fanfic

(And a second cover because I couldn't decide)

General Masterlist

Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x OC/Reader (Story is written in 2nd person, no name is mentioned)

Genre: angst

Word Count: ~10k

Warnings: death, devastatingly sad, mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts. No comfort, although it does end in a positive note. Ending is hopeful if you squint.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Bang Chan or other mentioned Stray Kids’ members true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

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A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

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The Five Stages of Grief

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“Hey Channie!” You entered his studio with a smile plastered on your face, that soon enough turned into a frown when you noticed your boyfriend of almost 5 years hasn’t even acknowledged your presence.

He tended to do that a lot, especially when working on new comebacks. His whole focus was on that damn computer which you were sure by now was your life-sworn enemy. It’s hard having to compete with a screen to get your boyfriend’s attention, but such was life sometimes, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You knew the risks that came with dating an idol, you just didn’t know how much worse it could be if you were to date a workaholic, perfectionist idol.

This was Chan.

He spent hours and hours and hours cramped in his small studio, perfecting beats, arranging vocals, switching up different rhythms and trying to figure out what could work out and have the most success between his fans.

“Have you eaten?” You asked, kissing his cheek, and only then did he notice you’re there, and pulled out his headphones.

“Oh, hi. Didn’t see you come in.” Was all he said, his face scrunched in concentration. “Did you say something?”

“Just asked if you’ve had dinner yet.”

He must’ve, right? It was well past 11 pm, but one of his bad habits was working himself to death, and more often than not, he would skip meal times entirely simply because he wasn’t good at keeping track of time.

“I had a protein bar earlier.” He shrugged.

“Want me to order you something? Or even better, why don’t we both head home?” You asked with a smile, trying to be convincing enough for your boyfriend.

It usually worked.

He would normally laugh off your attempts to be nice and realise that you’re just trying to take care of him, and he would comply and go home with you for the night, then resume his work the next day.

Once you’d be home, he would crash immediately, proof of how tired he’d been and how much he’d ignored his body’s needs. His sheer determination was scary.

However, none of this happened tonight. He rolled his eyes and muttered a small “There she goes again.”

You played it off, though, realising he probably didn’t mean for you to hear that. Brave on his part, you thought, in such a small quiet studio.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked, your tone still friendly, as if you were joking with him.

What you didn’t expect was for him to turn his whole chair towards you, his expression angrier than you’ve ever seen him.

“You heard me. God, it’s so frustrating having you come here all the time bossing me around. Eat! Sleep! Stop working! Can’t you see I’m busy?!” He ranted, pointing towards his computer screen.

“Wow, sorry, Mr. Busy.” You chuckled, despite being slightly angry with his words.

He doesn’t mean them. You told yourself. This is another one of his bad habits: bursting out and speaking cruel words whenever he’s extremely stressed and has tight deadlines. It hadn’t happened often, only a handful of times in your years long relationship, but it hurt nonetheless whenever it did.

“And there you go mocking me.” He rolled his eyes at you. “It’s like you don’t even care about the work I’m doing.”

“It’s not that, Chan. You know how much I value your work, it’s just-”

“Yeah, bullshit.” He laughs. “If you would, you’d stop barging in here demanding things from me when you know I have stuff to do.”

“Hey, I know you had a tough couple of days with the comeback and all, but there’s no need for you to take it out on my like this.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest, this time feeling genuinely upset. It’s like he’s escalating it on purpose.

“No, it’s not just a tough couple of days. Don’t you get it? You do this shit all the time, and I’m frankly sick and tired of it. Can’t you just leave me be for once and stop being so controlling?”

“Controlling?” You asked, baffled. “How am I controlling, huh? By making sure you eat and sleep when you’re supposed to?”

“How do you even know what I’m supposed to do?! You always think you know best, but you never fucking consider any of my needs and wants.”

“Literally everything I do is fucking consider your needs, Chan.” You answered coldly.

“No. You’re just too deep in your head and can’t fucking figure out when to back down, so I’m telling you. Stop telling me what to do and leave me alone if I’m busy. God, I don’t need this shit.”

He mumbled the last sentence and put his headphones back in, turning his attention back to the screen.

Maybe you shouldn’t have done what you did next, but he hurt you, and you didn’t like the way your conversation apparently ended. You wanted to know what he meant, so you grabbed his headphones’ wire and pulled them out of his ears forcefully.

The way he turned to you and the look he threw you almost made your blood freeze, but you were far too upset to care about upsetting him anymore.

“What exactly don’t you need, huh? What is this shit, exactly?!” You gestured with your hands.

“You can’t fucking let it go, can you?” He laughed in a baffled way.

“No, unless you tell me what this shit is.”

“This. Us. Everything. I’m really fucking done with how overbearing you’re being. I was doing fine before I met you, and I sure as hell do just fine without you over my head every fucking minute of the day.”

“Oh, is that so?” You asked, expressionless.

He hurt you, but by his anger still present on his features, you realised it’s all pointless. You’re not going to see eye to eye tonight.

“Do you want to break up?” You let out, the words burning your tongue, and Chan’s eyes widen.

“What? No! Fuck, you twist my words.” He sighs, exasperated. “Just leave. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

When he doesn’t say anything else, you let out a shaky breath and watch him put his headphones back in.

“Oh, and this?” He starts, pointing to one end of the headphones. “Never do this shit again.”

You watch silently how he turns his chair to look back at the damn screen, without caring that you’re still there in the room.

The discussion is over.

“I see. Fine. I’ll go.” You let out, tears beginning to spill down your cheeks. He didn’t see them, and it felt like he didn’t even care that he’s made you cry.

You quietly made your way out of the room, your sight too blurry to see anything, and you headed home.

---

Denial

---

Chan’s eyes are beginning to sting painfully, and after rubbing them and checking the time, he figures out why.

It’s way over 5 AM when he decides to finally leave the studio, and although it’s still dark out, the streets are already starting to get filled with people hurrying to whatever painful morning shift they are scheduled for.

It takes him about 20 minutes to get back to your shared apartment, and when he does, nothing seems unusual at first.

The house is expectedly quiet, it being so early in the morning, and he already imagines how deep in sleep you must be by now.

He feels guilty for how he treated you, that he let the anger consume him once again, and he regrets it. He always regrets it when he lets stress get the better of him.

As he heads towards the bathroom to wash the harsh day off his skin, he starts thinking about how he could make it up to you. Should he buy you flowers and bring you breakfast in bed in 4 hours when you’ll most likely get up?

Although he hasn’t slept at all.

Should he take you out on a date after he’s well rested? There was this restaurant you mentioned a couple of times that you wanted to try, but he didn’t have enough time to take you there to eat yet, not with all the planned comebacks and the work that keeps piling up.

Maybe tomorrow is finally the day.

He finishes his shower and rubs his eyes again, and God, how tired he is, just as usual when he pulls out all-nighters. Everything seems ordinary, but as he opens the bedroom door, however, something is unusual.

You are not there.

Confused, he takes out his phone to check for any messages you might’ve sent him, but upon noticing there’s no new notifications, he throws the phone on the bed, screen down, defeated.

Did you really think he wants to break up? Did you finally have enough and left him?

He knows he treated you badly tonight, but he thought it’s just a small drop in an ocean of happiness. Arguments are unavoidable, unfortunately, and he can’t always be the perfectly composed man he’s striving to become.

Would you really leave after a couple of cruel words he didn’t even mean? He starts asking himself as he gets into bed. Surely you know how much he loves and needs you there for him. It was just a bad night, that’s all.

Maybe you just wanted some space, and decided to head to a friend, or to a hotel or something.

He thinks about calling you, but with how late it is – or rather, how early – he knows he’d just disturb you or any of your friends you would’ve gone to if he were to call.

He decides to go to sleep instead and figure it all out tomorrow morning, when his mind is clearer, and when you’ve both had enough time to cool down.

His head is pounding with pain as he opens his eyes and feels multiple pulsations against all sides of his skull.

This is the worst migraine he’s ever had, and he realises how right you were when trying to convince him to go to sleep early. He really needed more sleep.

He grabs his phone to check the time, and when he does, he sees it’s flooding with notifications. His manager called him about a dozen times, starting at 8 AM and continuing up until 15 minutes ago, and he has multiple missed calls and messages from all the members.

Ugh, it’s only 10.

Did I have a schedule I’ve forgotten about? He wonders, rubbing his eyes confused, but checking the date, he knows it’s his day off.

He decides to head to the bathroom and freshen up, while picking up his phone and dialling his manager’s number.

He reaches the bathroom and puts toothpaste on his brush, and by the time the phone rang two times, his manager picks up.

“Chan! Where are you?” He asks, his voice hurried. “Why haven’t you picked up?”

He begins lazily brushing his teeth and checks the date again, and sure enough, it’s his free day. There’s nothing in his schedule.

“Huh? What do you mean?” He asks, his voice still ridden with sleep, still tired from the lack of rest. “It’s my day off.”

“Are you at home?”

“Yes. Where else?”

“Good. That’s… okay. Have you talked to anyone yet?”

“No…? You’re acting weird. What’s going on?”

“Listen, Chan. Something… something bad happened. I need you to sit down for a moment, okay?”

“Okay...?” Chan nods absent-mindedly, continuing to brush his teeth, oblivious about what’s coming.

“Last night… God, I don’t even know how to break this to you, so I’ll just say it. Do note that the company will do its best to assist you and-”

“Cut to the chase. What’s wrong?” Chris asks, starting to get worried. He finishes brushing his teeth, and just as he prepares to put the toothbrush down, his manager’s next words make him drop it to the floor instead.

“Your girlfriend passed away last night. She was hit by a drunk driver on a crosswalk, and although an ambulance got there in less than 2 minutes, she was already… I’m sorry.”

The line falls silent as Chan tries to process what his manager just said. The only sound in the room is made by the toothbrush hitting the bathroom’s white floor tiles.

Chan heard wrong. There’s no other explanation.

“That can’t be.” He dismisses his manager completely. “She was just with me in the studio last night, and then she came-”

Home. But you weren’t home.

“She must’ve gone to a hotel or something.”

“Chan… I’m truly, truly sorry. As I said, we’re going to support you through this tough time with everything we’ve got.”

What tough time? Chan wants to ask but stays silent instead.

He picks the discarded toothbrush from the floor and throws it away. How careless he’s been, dropping it.

He wants to chuckle at his stupidity, and he can’t wait to tell you about it. You’re going to nag him again for being careless and dropping things. This is the 3rd toothbrush he’s changing this month.

“Oh, God! Again?” He can already picture you with an amused expression on your face, your arms crossed. “You’re always dropping stuff on the floor!”

The thought brings the ghost of a smile on his face, and he starts wondering again where you might be. Surely your manager is mistaken.

“Her parents tried getting in touch with you, but they said you didn’t pick up. You should give them a call.” His manager continues to say. “From what they’ve told us, the funeral will be held tomorrow morning. JYPE offered to pay for all expenses. Anyways, this must be too much information to swallow for now, so I’ll come pick you up in 20 minutes and we can go to the company together. The rest of the boys are already here.”

“Okay, see you in 20 minutes.” Chan replies, not really understanding what’s happening.

He ignores the countless missed calls and messages and opens his call history to dial your number instead.

It goes straight to voice mail.

“Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?”You chuckled, asking him with an unsure look on your face.

“Yes. The beep-”

“Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!” You cheerfully said, ending the recording with a small laugh.

“Are you going to keep it like that?” He asked amused.

“Why not? It’s straight to the point!”

“You left my voice in it, though.”

“Oh, does it bother you? I can record again if you want me to.”

“No, no need. I just – isn’t it a bit weird?” He chuckled. “You even forgot to say your name.”

“Whatever.” You waved a dismissive hand in the air. “If they called my number, they know who they’re calling.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

He chuckles absent-mindedly at the memory of him teaching you how to record a message redirecting your callers to leave a voice mail. You’ve never been good at technology.

“Hi, babe. Can you please call me? I need to talk to you.” He says, deciding to leave a message, even though he isn’t convinced that you’ll get to hear it. You usually forget to check your voice mail.

He tries calling again, just for good measure.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?’

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for-‘

And again.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly’?

Yes. The beep-‘

And again.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?’

Yes.’

‘Hello! You’ve called…’

‘Hello!’

He throws his phone on the bed exasperated. Why aren’t you picking up?

You didn’t even come home last night, why is your phone turned off?

Do you want to somehow punish him for being cruel and make him worry?

He shakes his head confused and begins changing his clothes from the comfortable pyjamas to an appropriate enough outfit to go to the company.

It should be a crime to have to go so early in the morning anywhere on your day off.

When he’s done and he looks somewhat presentable, he picks his phone back up and dials your number again.

‘Hello! You’ve called-’

He cancels the call just when he hears a knock on his door, and opening it, his manager is looking at him sombrely.

“Hi.” Chris speaks first, but his manager doesn’t say anything. He just pulls him into a hug that lasts way too long, Chan thinks.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” He finally says after pulling away.

Chan doesn’t know what to reply, so he opts to just stay silent. His manager’s words don’t register in his head anyway; maybe he’s still tired.

He did go to sleep way too late.

They head to the car, and although the ride to the company only lasts 20 minutes or so, the 20 minutes feel like an eternity.

It’s just as his manager said, and everyone else is already at the company. When he sees the boys, they come rushing to him, their faces tear-stained and their clothes black.

“Oh, Chris…” Felix hugs him tightly and starts crying, and Chan starts comforting him by patting his back a few times.

A few tears escape past his eyes as well by seeing all the boys so gloomy, but he still doesn’t seem to be able to wrap his hand around it.

“Her parents said the wake is taking place at their house, so that’s where we’re headed now. I thought it’s better for you to not go alone.” His manager blurts out.

Chris looks dejected for a few seconds, before taking out his phone again and dialling the familiar number. This time, he types it himself. He knows it by heart.

With a shaky hand, he puts it against his ear and waits to connect.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

It makes no sense.

You couldn’t possibly… have died.

You are so young. You have so many plans and so many things you still want to do.

He is supposed to apologize to you and pamper you the whole day just to make up to you for being an asshole last night. He is supposed to take you to that restaurant you’ve been bugging him about for weeks.

You can’t possibly be gone, just like that.

Your parents embrace Chris as soon as he steps through the door. They’re sobbing loudly, and there are so many people present – some, he recognises: old friends from middle school you’ve shown him pictures of, some other colleagues from university, some coworkers he had the pleasure of meeting at the last Christmas party held by your company, a few family members…

There are also many people he doesn’t recognise; people your age, and Chan gets reminded once again of how young you are, with your whole life ahead.

He shakes his head once he notices a coffin on the large table in your parents’ living room; the same table you’ve both ate at just two weeks ago when you’ve last visited.

“My baby, Chris is here to see you.” Your mother cries, approaching the coffin and pulling his hand to guide him towards it as well.

It’s closed shut, and on top of it, your picture stares at him with a happy smile. You are so beautiful; he’s always loved this picture of yours. He’s the one who took it, just after you’ve graduated Uni and he handed you a big bouquet of your favourite flowers, rose peonies. You said your eyes wrinkled in a weird way, and never liked it, but he absolutely adored it. It’s been his wall screen ever since.

The coffin is made of dark polished mahogany, and its lid is adorned with golden handles.

You can’t possibly be in there.

Although beautiful, how could such a small coffin hold the large essence of your soul?

It makes no sense whatsoever.

Your parents’ cries seem real enough, though.

He touches the top of the coffin and wonders why it’s closed. Why would it be closed, when you are so gorgeous? People should see you, not a simple picture.

He decides it must be because you’re simply not in it. Or if you are hiding in there, maybe it’s all a joke and you’re going to open it from the inside and yell Surprise!, shocking everyone in the room and making your mother faint. It’s something you’d do.

So, he waits.

He waits, and waits, and waits, and his feet grow tired and his back starts aching after so many hours on his feet. People come and go, paying respects, patting his shoulders and trying to make some small talk, talking about you in past tense.

“She was such a wonderful person.”

“She was so full of life.”

“Her laugh was so intoxicating.”

“Her work ethic was admirable.”

“She was so smart.”

He listens and nods to each of their words. They are right. You are a smart, wonderful person, you are full of life, your laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard. He’s wished more often than not to record it and put it in one of his tracks, but every time he’d mentioned it, you called him silly.

By the time your father brings him a chair and places it next to the coffin so he can sit down instead of standing, it’s already night out.

“You should get some rest, Chris. I’ll stay with her.” He tells him, placing his strong hand on Chan’s shoulder as to attract his attention, but Chan just shakes his head.

How could he go sleep when you might decide any time to wake up?

Would you panic, with the lid closed and all? You’ve always been claustrophobic. Why is it closed, anyway?

It’s already morning when one of your relatives approaches Chris and urges him to get out of the living room to change his clothes.

They’ve brought him a white suit at the request of your father; wedding attire, since you didn’t get the chance to get married before you passed.

He is reluctant to put on the white pants and uncomfortable suit jacket, but he does it anyway. Your mother cries when she sees him, and your father pats his shoulder and thanks him for doing this.

The priest comes, and a lot of your friends visit your home again, to lead you on your last journey, apparently.

It takes the priest about half an hour to finish praying for your soul, and then your coffin is loaded in the back of a hearse. The car moves slow enough for everyone to be able to follow, and Chris is walking right behind it, next to your parents. Felix is behind him with Lee Know and Changbin, and the rest of the boys are somewhere far back. He sticks out like a sore thumb, dressed in all white while everyone else is wearing black.

Each time the car passes next to important places in your life, the hearse stops and people throw coins on the ground. They pass by your kindergarten and your old school, and with each step, your mother cries harder. Your father tries his best to stay composed, but even he bursts into tears when your mother starts talking about your life and what a happy kid you were.

Chris doesn’t shed a tear. He follows the hearse blindly, and when it reaches the cemetery, he watches as his members take out the coffin and place it on the ground next to a large, freshly dug hole.

The priest begins a final prayer, and soon enough, he watches how the coffin disappears inside the hole. People start throwing soil and flowers. He doesn’t know how a couple of roses get in his hands, but he begins throwing them one by one on top of the coffin that keeps getting lowered down.

You’ve never liked roses that much. You like peonies. Why did someone hand him roses?

There is also some music – hymns, or the sorts. Something you wouldn’t like. He doesn’t like it either.

A few moments later, some people begin covering the coffin in dirt, and he watches the scene expressionless. It gets covered fairly quickly. People start crying even harder, and his ears start ringing.

He feels sick to his stomach, so he decides to take a few steps back as soon as the whole gets filled to the brim with the freshly dug soil.

“I can’t believe she’s truly gone. She was so young!” He hears a woman say from somewhere behind him. He doesn’t bother turning his head to check if he knows her or not.

“Right? We were talking just yesterday morning at work about going shopping this weekend.” Another woman replies in a quiet tone.

“They didn’t even open the casket.”

“How could they? Didn’t you hear how she passed?”

“No! What even happened?”

“She was apparently crossing the road and a car came out of nowhere, hitting her with more than 200 km/h. It threw her like 30 metres in the air.”

“Oh my God! I heard it was a car accident, but this…”

“Yeah! It’s insane. There was barely anything left of her… only shattered bones and flesh, nothing resembling a human.”

“Shh, what if someone hears you say that?!” The other woman tried to silence the first one.

After hearing these details, Chris feels even sicker.

He wants to throw up.

“Son, we are going to the reception now. Do you want to come with us in our car?” Your father approaches him, and Chris simply nods.

He hugs him for a few seconds, and then they wait for your mother to come, and the ride to the restaurant is filled with her sobs while your father and Chan remain expressionless.

He sits at a table next to your parents. Felix is on his left, and the rest of the boys and other members of JYPE are sitting nearby.

There is an empty space to his right, and in front of it, the table is full of your favourite foods, snacks and drinks.

His eyes are stuck on that empty seat.

“Wow, they really brought me a lot.” You chuckle, looking at Chris with your head supported by your right hand, your elbow against the table. “How am I supposed to eat all of this?”

He watches the scene stunned.

“What’s wrong, baby? Why the long face?” You ask, the smile on your face wider, raising a hand to caress his cheek.

The next time Chris blinks, you’re gone.

The seat is empty.

The boys insist that Chan comes with them to the dorms, or that at least some of them come home with him.

“It’s not good to be alone.” Hyunjin says sympathetically, and Chris simply shakes his head.

What if you come back home tired and want to rest, but the boys are there visiting? He asks himself. It wouldn’t be fair to you.

So, he goes home alone, after much bargaining with them that he needs some time on his own.

The silence that greets him once he opens the door to your shared apartment is deafening.

He first goes to the bedroom to check if you’re back yet, but the sheets stay as empty as when he woke up two days ago, so he pulls out his phone to dial your number again.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

The beep sound follows soon after, and he begins talking.

“Babe, I know you’re mad at me. I was wrong. I’m sorry. It’s time to come back home now. Please?”

A second beep follows, signalling that the time to record his message is over, so he ends the call. He ignores the countless notifications piling up on his screen, all the Condolences messages he’s been receiving, and he places the phone in his pocket and starts making the bed.

“Wow, well done, Channie! I’m impressed!” He can almost hear you chuckling, and turns his head towards the door, fully expecting you to be there laughing at him and praising him for doing the bare minimum, but there’s no one there.

Once the bed is made, he heads towards the living room. A half empty glass of water is on the table, its margins stained by your lipstick, next to a plate full of breadcrumbs.

Tsk, how messy. He rolls his eyes, knowing exactly why you haven’t cleaned up. You must’ve eaten in a rush again, this bad habit of yours.

You’re always complaining about stomach aches, but you keep eating on the go while getting ready for work in the morning, and never enjoy your meals.

He takes a picture of the crime scene and opens his phone again, shooting you a text.

“Forgot to clean up?” He asks, then attaches the picture of the plate and glass.

He knows you’ll probably laugh and start excusing yourself once you see it. If he were to check his gallery, half the pictures are surely of the dirty plates you simply forget about on the table.

Chris always washes them, but never fails to remind you of it.

This time, too, he takes the plate and glass to the sink and turns on the hot water. He rubs the plate with a dish sponge with way too much dish soap on it, and he hears your voice in the back of his head again:

“My, Channie! You’re so wasteful! You only need a drop. A single drop!!! What are you using so much dish soap for???”

He starts laughing as he grabs the glass and throws the half-drunk water out, but before washing it, he notices the lipstick stains again. He smiles to himself and sets the glass aside, wiping it off with a napkin, careful to not accidentally remove the stain.

Your lips left such a pretty mark, he doesn’t want to part with it yet, even if you are going to give him an earful later for not washing the glass properly.

When there is nothing else to do around the house, he opens his laptop and starts sorting out his emails. All of their schedules for the month have been cancelled, and their upcoming comeback postponed indefinitely.

He doesn’t think it’s necessary, but at the end of the day, the company’s rules must be followed. You’ve complained about him working too much anyway. Maybe this is the chance for you two to spend a bit more time together.

All he has to do now is wait for you to come back.

He waits.

And waits.

And waits…

Felix visits with Jisung and Seungmin the next day.

And then the next, Jeongin comes with Changbin and Hyunjin.

Minho drops by every morning with enough food to last Chris the whole day.

His manager comes once a week and makes sure to call him daily.

Whenever he’s on the phone, he paces around the empty apartment and looks around. He sees the jewellery you left on the coffee table; your sports shoes are still on the doormat in front of the door, your face creams and serums stay untouched in the bathroom, your hairbrush lays by the sink filled with loose hair, and there’s a half-ironed shirt on the ironing table in the dressing.

You don’t like other people touching your stuff, so he leaves everything just like that, waiting for you to come back and fix it all.

The glass with your lipstick stain on it is still there on the counter, next to the sink.

He’s texted you about a dozen of times since he first messaged you about it and the plate that’s long been washed, but you haven’t replied to a single text. Your phone still goes directly to voicemail, but worst of all… no matter how much he’s waiting…

… you don’t come home, and the apartment stays empty.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right!’

‘Hello!’

---

Anger

---

It’s been more than a month, but Chris still sets the table for you each time he eats what Lee Know brings him.

He wouldn’t bother eating much, if Minho wouldn’t have insisted to tag along to practically every meal after he noticed that he’s barely touching the food.

He always places one more plate on the table, right in front of him, at your usual spot.

“Just in case she comes back and gets hungry.” He explains to Minho, but he’s had enough of this.

“Hyung…” Lee Know hesitates. “She… she’s not coming back. You know that, right?”

His tone is quiet, and he tries to approach the subject as gently as possible. However, it’s time for him to do something. You’ve died more than five weeks ago, but Chris hasn’t moved any of your belongings, not even to store them.

There’s a box of tampons on the kitchen counter, but he won’t even move that, for fuck’s sake. He keeps waiting for you to come home, as if he doesn’t realise the fact that you’ve passed away.

“No, she will.” Chris says firmly, daring Minho to challenge him more.

“Hyung… She… she died. She’s not coming back.”

“You’re wrong!” Chris shouts all of a sudden, hitting the table with his fist strong enough to make the tableware bounce. He knows Minho is right. After waiting for you for weeks on end without you coming back, after dialling your number about a million times, after sending countless texts with no reply from you… he knows. But…

“Chris…” Lee Know stares empathetically.

“You’re all wrong! She… she’s coming back, goddamit!” He shouts again, this time grabbing the table’s edges and flipping it. The empty plates fall to the ground and shatter in the process, and Minho’s pot spills on the carpet, staining it.

Chris tries to cling to the last bit of hope he has regarding you, but he knows you’re dead. Everyone else was right, and he was wrong. You’re really gone.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. You… you need some help…” Lee Know continues with a shake of his head, bending down to grab the broken pieces of glass.

When he’s done cleaning up the carpet and the floor to the best of his abilities, he takes one more look at Chan. He looks like a ticking bomb, ready to explode again any second now.

Lee Know doesn’t know if it would be good to give Chan space, or if he should insist again that he comes with him to the dorms.

He decides to ask him anyway, and to his surprise, Chris nods and packs a small bag with clothes and hangs it on his shoulder.

They made their way out to Lee Know’s car, and once they’re at the dorms, they say goodbye as each goes to their respective apartments. Chris used to live with 3RACHA and Hyunjin, so that’s where he’s headed.

The dorms are as messy as he remembers, but they bring him comfort nontheless. His old room brings him solace as well.

There are a few pictures or you on the small desk in his room, and he looks at them fondly. You’re smiling beautifully in all of them. It’s the you he remembers. You, at your first date; you, the first time he took you to an amusement park; you, when all your fingers were coated in chocolate after you attempted to bake him a cake.

It’s you.

God, how he misses you.

How dare you leave him alone?

How dare you?

Why didn’t you fucking look to the left before crossing the road? Even if the traffic light was green, you should’ve fucking looked.

You’ve always been careful to look, so why…?!

Watching the pictures no longer makes him happy. It makes him angry, and out of anger, he punches the wall behind the desk with all his strength.

It makes no sense, really, but the pain in his fist takes away from the pain in his heart, so he punches the wall again.

He decides to try and calm down after hitting the wall two more times, and he hops into his old bed, shutting his eyes tight and thinking about the night you died.

‘I’m really fucking done with how overbearing you’re being. I was doing fine before I met you, and I sure as hell do just fine without you over my head every fucking minute of the day.’

Those were some of the last words he’s said to you.

Since you’ve died a few blocks away from the JYPE building, it happened right after you left.

You died thinking he doesn’t love you.

You died thinking he doesn’t need you.

He does.

He needs you.

If only he’d gone home with you that night, as you asked him, you would’ve never died.

It’s his fault.

It’s his fault you’ve died.

He killed you.

He lashed out on you and blamed all his stress on your attempts to take care of him, and he killed you.

Fuck, it’s all his fault.

For the first time since the funeral, he bursts out in tears, and he is unable to stop. It’s like all of his repressed feelings for the past month and a half come biting him right in the ass.

It’s so hard to breathe. He’s getting suffocated.

He can’t.

He can’t breathe anymore.

You’re on top of him, suffocating him.

“You killed me.” You say, blood running down your face.

He can almost feel the drops hitting him, with your face so close to him.

“It’s your fault. “You knew what you were saying. You killed me.” You say again cruelly, and Chris shuts his eyes even tighter.

His cries soon turn to wails, and he’s being loud enough for Changbin to hear him and get alerted. He opens the door without knocking, and upon seeing Chris, his heart breaks.

He just goes to the bed and throws himself on top of Chris, as if to shelter him somehow from the intense grief he’s feeling.

When his cries quiet down, Changbin takes a look at his friend and sees his injuries.

“Holy fuck, your hand is bleeding. Are you okay?” He asks in panic, standing up quickly to grab the first aid kit to bandage his fist.

“It’s all my fucking fault!” Chris screams at the top of his lungs, and his destructive mood comes back. He stands up, wanting to destroy it all. Every damn picture, every fucking thing in this room.

He wants to set it on fire and let it it all to pieces, letting himself burn as well. It’s what he deserves for killing you.

Sure, the drunk driver that hit you was directly responsible for taking your life, but the way he acted that night… nothing would’ve happened if it weren’t for him.

He killed you.

Changbin sees right through his erratic behaviour and anticipates his moves, throwing himself once more at Chris, holding him tight and not letting him move, no matter how much Chris lashes out. He doesn’t let go until his friend calms down again, and even after he does, he decides to camp in the room with him and keep him company.

---

Bargaining

---

It’s been three months, and Chris still has some difficulties accepting that you’re truly gone.

He probably shouldn't be here so soon, but it’s like he has to make sure again that you’re… that you’re dead.

Your parents did a great job with your grave; your gravestone made of marble stands tall , centred right in front of the ground you’re buried deep within, and the intricate designs of sculpted vines and flowers reminds him of you.

Oh, right. Flowers.

Chris remembers he brought a bouquet of pink peonies with him. He’s been holding onto it tightly ever since he bought it and stepped in a taxi to come here, but as soon as he got to your grave, time stopped, he couldn’t breathe anymore, and he forgot about the flowers in his hands.

It’s not like you need any more; there are so many fresh flowers all over and around your grave. Your parents also planted lots on top of the soil above your coffin, decorating your rest place beautifully.

You’ve always said you wanted a garden, and now, you have one: your little space in the uncomfortably large cemetery at the edge of the city.

“My favourite flowers. Aren’t they pretty?” He swears he can hear your voice, and turning to his left side, his breath hitches in his throat, choking him.

There you are, holding the bouquet of pink peonies he bought with a large smile on your face, but just like last time, he blinks, and the bouquet is in his hands, as it’s been the whole time, and you’re nowhere in sight.

A tear rolls down Chan’s cheek. He wishes he would’ve bought you that house and garden you’ve been dreaming of, instead of the convenient apartment in the city centre.

He wishes he would’ve proposed, and that you’d build a little family together. After all, you were his solace in the midst of all the chaos of his life. The sole person bringing him purpose and comfort.

But now you’re gone.

He wishes he wouldn’t have always put his job first. Especially now, as his schedules stay empty due to the company fearing for his well-being, he realises how much free time he could’ve had if only – if only he’d listened to you.

He regrets all those late nights in the studio when he could’ve been home sleeping next to you.

He regrets every breakfast, lunch and dinner he’s missed because he was too busy with making a new song, learning a new dance, or preparing for a new comeback. Now, none of it matters. You’re gone.

He could’ve postponed all of them. He could’ve done so much differently, and he regrets it all.

You’re gone.

He places the peonies in a little vase near your gravestone, next to some daffodils someone must’ve brought you a few days ago.

Then, he raises his gaze and reads the inscription in the headstone’s marble. It’s your favourite poem by Clare Harner.

Good choice, he thinks, as he goes through the lines of Immortality and traces each engraved letter with his fingers.

‘Do not stand by my grave and weep

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am the thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints in snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

As you awake with morning's hush,

I am the swift, up-flinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand by my grave, and cry--

I am not there, I did not die.’

You stopped reciting the poem and took a deep breath, looking expectantly at Chan.

“Isn’t this poem beautiful?” You asked him, your eyes sparkling.

“A bit morbid, but yes.” Chris chuckled as he placed the freshly made pasta dish in a large plate and served you dinner.

“Aww, thank you. Smells so good!” You grinned in delight, your eyes closing into crescents, as they always did whenever you smiled brightly.

He couldn’t help but press a quick chaste kiss against your lips before he sat down as well.

“So, pasta master, show me how it’s done.” You encouraged him, nudging his elbow and handing him your fork and spoon.

“Tsk, you’re so spoiled.” Chris tutted jokingly, but complied nonetheless and started twirling the pasta with the fork. Once it became an appropriate bite-sized portion, he raised the fork and supported it with the spoon as he brought the food to your mouth.

“Mmmm, so good!” You exclaimed with a few quick, excited small claps, as soon as you started feeling the flavours.

“Of course, what were you expecting?” Chris chuckled.

“Only the best from you.” She praised, petting his head fondly. “So, about the poem. Do you think it’s good enough for my presentation?”

“For Uni? Yeah, of course. Anything you’d pick is good enough, babe. You have your way with words, and you recited it very beautifully.”

“You think?” You beamed at his words, and he nodded. “Thank you, Channie. I really really like it, but I was afraid it wasn’t appropriate.”

“No, it is. You can use it.”

“If the lyrical genius says so, it must be true.” You stood up briefly and kissed his cheek, before returning to your seat and starting eating the pasta.

God, how many years ago was that?

Chris bursts out crying for the millionth time this month, and grabs the headstone with both his hands, feeling his knees grow weak.

On the brink of collapse, he uses your gravestone for support as he weeps louder.

“Can’t you come back?” He asks, his voice shaking. “Please. Please come back. Please. I… I promise I’ll do better, hm? I promise I’ll no longer stay as late in the studio, so please… please…”

The headstone can’t support him enough when his hands go weak as well, and he falls to his knees right in front of the poem.

“If only – If only I’d left with you that night. If only we hadn’t fought. God… please, please come back. We still have to make up.”

He cries for what feels like hours, and his body grows cold.

“Please… please…” He forces out again. “Come back… come back… we have so much we want to do… come back… I need… I need more time with you, please. Please.”

And he cries again.

And again.

And again, until he feels a hand on his shoulder a while later, and he turns his head around hopeful, thinking you might’ve somehow heard his pleas and returned to him.

His expression falls as he sees Seungmin looking concerned at him, and then he frowns even more noticing the pathetic way he looks in his eyes’ reflection.

Seungmin falls to the ground next to Chan, hugging his side tightly. Then, he helps him stand up and balance on his feet.

Chris is grateful for Stray Kids being there for him, but he just wishes… it would’ve been you standing next to him instead of Seungmin.

---

Depression

---

Chris has never experienced such an intense fatigue before. Every part of his body hurts, and it’s like his muscles are screaming at him each time he stands up. He is lethargic and looks haggard and in desperate need of rest, but rest doesn’t come by too easily as of late.

It’s 5AM and he’s in the studio again, but instead of doing anything productive, like finishing up that song he’s started working on two months ago that he keeps beating himself up for, he watches how beautiful you looked in the picture on his desk.

You used to be so full of life and so gorgeous. Your smile could make anyone happy, and your laugh – God, how much he misses your laugh.

He misses your voice.

Sometimes, he can’t even remember what it sounds like, and he thinks it’s absurd; it hasn’t been that long since you passed. Only about a year. He shouldn’t forget it so soon.

He grabs his phone and manually types the digits to your number. He still hasn’t forgotten it, and with how deep it’s been ingrained in his memory, he doesn’t think he ever will.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

He hasn’t cried in some time while thinking of you, but now, he’s on the verge of tears again. You used to sound so carefree.

You used to be so happy.

He doesn’t know when he started referring to you in past tense, but as soon as the realisation hits him, he lets a couple of tears stain his cheeks.

Chris is tired. He hasn’t slept in… God knows how many days. He’s always had trouble sleeping, but nowadays, his insomnia has been getting worse and worse. His doctor prescribed him some pills that are supposed to help, but he can’t even be bothered to take them anymore. They don’t help him rest anyway. If he takes them, he wakes up confused, disoriented, and with an even worse headache.

His phone is still in his hand and his finger brushes over his screen. He didn’t have the heart to change his lockscreen picture. It’s still you.

He hasn’t seen you in what feels like years. The first few months when he’d been haunted by your ghost were tough, but now that he hasn’t seen any glimpse of you in months, day to day life is getting harder and harder to navigate.

You don’t even visit him in his dreams anymore, on the seldom nights he sleeps. If he takes the small white pills, he doesn’t dream of anything, and he so desperately wants to see you again, to touch you, that he refuses to take them. That’s the other reason he doesn’t.

Fuck, this is hard.

Are you supposed to feel so devastated after a whole year?

Back then, years passed by so quickly – it meant comeback after comeback, work, work and more work, and time with you was scarce but very appreciated. Time used to fly, and without him knowing how much time passed, you’ve celebrated your 5th anniversary. He was planning to propose to you soon. He was looking at rings, but then you…

Time doesn’t pass by as quickly anymore. This year stretched for so long, it felt like a decade instead of barely 12 months. With each passing month, it was like nothing was changing at all for Chris, but now, looking back, everything feels different.

He’s a completely different person than the one that was staying in the studio up until 5 AM last year, and he blames himself so, so much for his unchanging bad habits.

He blames himself for your death still. It’s his fault, and this thought only makes him more hopeless and more depressed.

He’s lost weight. A lot of it, to the point where the company had to have an ‘intervention’. Whereas last year his body was toned, his abs perfectly sculpted and his form admirable, he now looks like a ghost of himself.

If he eats, his stomach immediately starts hurting. He threw up 3 times this week alone.

Your death still has such a big emotional toll on him, and he’s tried it all. He went to therapy. He still goes four times a week at his company’s requests. He’s on medication that makes him groggy and unable to think, medication that shut down all his feelings – not just the negative ones. He is numb, and when he isn’t, he feels utterly devastated and lost.

What is he supposed to do now, without you?

How come a year has already passed without you by his side? He’s even contradicting himself. Sometimes he feels that the year passed by slowly, and sometimes he looks back and doesn’t understand how he was able to live a whole year without you.

He needs you.

Fuck, he needs you so much, he still can’t believe he even insinuated that horrible night that he didn’t.

Life no longer has any purpose, and everyone around him is growing more concerned by the day, as this once optimistic man has left together with you, leaving in his place only a pessimistic, desperate person.

He realised how badly he wants to die exactly 6 months ago, when your sudden disappearance finally started sinking in for real. When he stopped bargaining with God or with whatever cruel higher power there might be in the sky to let you come back, even if just for 10 minutes, for enough time for him to kiss and hug you and tell you how much he’s missing you.

6 months ago, he started decorating his thighs with unsightly marks, some of them faded, other fresh. He can’t do it anywhere else, no matter how much he’d wished to cut his wrists open, for fear of anyone else noticing.

So, he takes his despair out on his poor thighs, pressing the small blade against his skin until he feels something, anything. Until blood starts pouring down and the shower’s water pools down at his feet completely red.

He winces in pain every time he does it, but at least he feels something different than the numbness that grows bigger and bigger in his heart, consuming everything in its way. His whole soul feels absorbed by it, crushed under the pressure.

On the rare occasions he’s not numb, he feels the immense grief your absence left. He now knows that you’ve not only taught him how to love, but also how it is to lose what you love, and it hurts. It’s excruciating, and his heart is being ripped apart still, each and every time he thinks of you, and your absence is tearing him apart from the inside out.

He is physically sick. His headaches are worse than ever. He can’t sleep. He can’t eat. He can’t do anything anymore. He doesn’t want to, either.

The only thing he wants is to die, but even this wish feels selfish. He sees the way his friends look at him, how they’re walking on eggshells around him, to not somehow mention anything that could trigger a bigger depressive episode than what he’s already going through. He only pushes through it because of them, because he knows how it feels to lose someone you truly love, and he doesn’t want them to have to live with this black hole in their chests.

But… the loneliness he feels is simply merciless. It’s pouring down on him like unyielding unforgiving rain, not showing him any pity, and so he tries to fills his days with something that would make him forget about the gap in his soul.

The company let him come back to work a while ago, but they didn’t plan any comeback for Stray Kids for the time being, nor are they planning any for the near future. He’s grateful they’re giving him time, because he’s in no shape or form ready to do anything, not when he’s withdrawn himself so much from everything he used to love.

It’s difficult to compose any up-beat songs, or any song, for that matter. It used to come naturally for him, but not anymore. Changbin and Jisung are doing their best to support him and make up for his lack of concentration, but it feels like he’s not bringing anything to the table anymore.

He’s missed practice over and over again. The Kids meet up every two days to dance to their older songs, and as they don’t have anything new to work with, they even started learning the dances of other popular songs, or creating choreographies that would fit western music. Chan never went. He stopped dancing 12 months ago, and he hasn’t even stepped in the practice room since you died, not even once.

He hasn’t sung since you died either, and no one said anything about it. No one blamed him at all. Not even his company, who he was sure was going to fire him in the first 6 months after your death.

They said they trust him, and that they’re going to give him as much time as he needs to recover. They talk about him like he’s sick, but he’s not sick. They don’t seem to understand that.

He’s not sick, he’s just devastated, and he doesn’t think he’s ever going to be able to live again, to sing and dance on stage and to work hard, because this is no longer his dream.

He only dreams of death, and the thoughts of it are the only ones bringing him any solace. His therapist said he needs more time, and he quoted Lois Tonkin more times than he can count. He said that life will soon begin to grow bigger around grief, and that the intense sadness he’s feeling is just another expression of love for you. One that is permanent, but that will diminish as time passes and as he starts enjoying life again.

He doesn’t believe any of it, though.

How could he begin to enjoy life again, with you not there by his side?

---

Acceptance

---

He met someone.

For the first time in years, he felt genuine happiness again.

It took him one more year to start reengaging in some of his older hobbies and in his work. He started gradually going to the gym with Changbin and Lee Know, and eventually felt ready to start dancing and singing again. Another year later, he was ready to get back on stage and face all his fans, who’ve thankfully shown an unwavering support of his journey with grief.

He started feeling a bit better, and even though you were on his mind all the time, he was no longer dwelling on the pain of the loss of you. Your memory started bringing him more happiness, and he started looking fondly at all the sweet moments you’ve both shared together.

He started appreciating being able to have met you, to have lived 5 beautiful years next to you, and even though he still feels it is unfair that you’ve been taken away from him so cruelly and way too early, he no longer blames himself.

He still regrets the argument you had on the night you passed away, but he started slowly coming to terms with the fact that there was nothing he could do about it anymore, no way to take his words back. He started accepting that this is the one regret he’s going to have to take to his grave with him.

It took him one more year to start embracing life again, to start looking forward to his future with Stray Kids and to start actively making plans. He realised there was so much more he wanted to accomplish, and his dreams started coming back to him little by little, with the support of his friends and family.

He’s met her two years later.

When it happened, he was still not ready to give love a second chance. He thought it was way too soon, that he was disrespecting you by catching feelings for someone else. He felt like he was emotionally cheating on you.

He decided it’s time to join a support group at the recommendation of his friend, and he’s met a lot of people of all ages: some younger than him, some way older. The way they spoke about their former partners warmed up his heart, and they made him realise that loving again is not an affront to your memory. He can still keep loving you while loving someone else as well. He can still honour your memory.

He opened up to her, and he’s told her all about you. She wanted to know who you were, and she even visited your grave with him, holding his hand and talking to you at your gravestone. She told you she loves him and thanked you for being there for him while you were still alive, for giving him precious memories to hold onto.

She apologized for life being so unfair and taking you away from Chris so abruptly, and she assured you she’s going to take care of him to the best of her abilities.

She was really patient with him. She gave him as much time as he needed to come to terms with his feelings. He let him set the pace on what he was comfortable with doing. The first time they slept together was after more than one year of dating, but she didn’t mind waiting for as long as he felt necessary.

She loved him, and he loved her.

He proposed to her almost two years later, and they welcomed a child one year after their wedding.

He visited your grave on your 10th death anniversary with his son in his stroller, a baby boy he’s given your favourite name. You were still present in his thoughts, and his love for you never subsided.

He now simply has additional people to love and to grow old with, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you still.

He decided to visit your grave again, even if walking has become a bit too difficult. Still, he manages the way from the car until your grave just fine, even if he has to support himself with a crane.

He is now old enough to be called ‘grandpa’, and not just as a joke between him and his friends. His hands are shaking, and his legs are a bit wobbly; his face is adorned with deep lines and creases, his forehead is wrinkly, and each fine line contributes to his now years-long life and experiences. The skin dropped around his cheeks, but every lady in the nursing home assures him he’s still a handsome man.

Your grave is no longer as tidy and beautifully adorned with fresh flowers. The soil has been overtaken by weeds and is in dear need of cleansing. He hasn’t visited in a while, unfortunately, his health issues making it a tad too hard, and with your parents long gone, there is no one else to take care of your resting place.

He makes a mental note to hire someone to clean it up and plant some flowers, but for the time being, he simply sets the bouquet of rose peonies in the small, chipped vase next to your headstone.

The inscription in the once immaculate marble is no longer as visible, but he doesn’t need to read it in order to recognise Immortality by Clare Harner. He still remembers the poem by heart, and also all sorts of other small, insignificant things, like your old phone number that’s been disconnected decades ago.

He looks at your smiling picture, the one he took when you’ve just graduated from university, and he realises as if for the first time how young you were.

He’s grown old; he has multiple wrinkles, his skin sagged everywhere, and his body went through each transformation it was supposed to when advancing in years.

But you?

You’ve stayed young. You’ve stayed beautiful, cheerful, smiling. Your face stayed clear of any creases.

You’ve remained just as he remembers you.

You are immortal.

“I’m sorry for not coming in a while.” He speaks with a soft smile on his face.

“That’s fine. You are probably very tired.”

He swears he could hear your voice. Maybe the poem is right, and the whispers of the wind transform in your saccharine voice he’s so dearly missed.

“I’m truly sorry for what I’ve said.” He continues, feeling the need to apologize again for his harsh words that night. No matter how many years have passed and how many time he’s already apologised, he’s never forgiven himself.

“But I’ve forgiven you long ago.” The wind whispers, and he closes his eyes and nods his head.

“I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I hope you know that.”

“I know.” The sunlight caresses his back, warming him up as the wind strengthens. “And I’m waiting for you, whenever you’re ready to meet me, my love.”

~The End~

---

(A/N) Obligatory song: 11 minutes by Halsey and YUNGBLUD.

youtube

When my best friend showed me this song, I immediately fell in love with the concept of the music video, that’s based on the five stages of grief. I thought to myself that I simply must write a story like this, but of course, that was months ago and I’ve completely forgotten about it, as I usually do with most random ideas that come to mind that I don’t write down lol.

I couldn’t really sleep for the past few nights, so my mind kept brewing ideas and scenarios to keep me busy and hopefully lull me to sleep.

It didn’t work, because the five stages of grief came to mind and I knew I had to immediately write a story about it and not let the idea go this time, so I got out of bed at like 6:30 am and wrote and wrote on and off for a total of 13 hours, until this 10k words of pure despair have been created.

I hope you enjoyed it even though it probably sent you spiralling into depression. Thank you for reading nonetheless!

Love,

Storm

15 notes · View notes

mari-writing · 2 years

Text

Best To Worst Immortal To Spend An Unbearably Hot Day With | Genshin Impact x Traveller! Reader

[Its hottest day recorded in Tevyat's history. The best to worst immortal to spend that day with.]

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Albedo (+Klee), Venti, Zhongli, Ei + Raiden Shogun, Xiao, Yae Miko, Ganyu

Genre: Fluff, headcanons

Perspective: 2nd person for reader

Word count: 2199 (don't even ask me how this happened)

ALBEDO

Your best bet if you want to stay cool

He'll be sure to make some cooling equipment. If you tell him about electrical fans, he would be able to make a pretty good replica using his flowers

Since Klee has a pyro vision, I imagine she gets especially hot during the summer so Albedo would be pretty used to dealing with the heat.

I don't see Albedo himself getting too hot though, so he probably still wears his normal clothing.

Its fine, you and Klee can rock the summer outfits (or you can also stick to your normal outfit)

As Albedo is making the cooling fans, you take it upon yourself to use your anemo powers to cool both you and Klee

It actually turns out pretty fun. She ends up convincing you to blow out air at enough speed to mess up both of your hairs

So as you two are giggling together, Albedo comes in, looks at you two, before sighing and creating combs and brushes

Albedo has glorious hair, he definitely knows what he's doing. He sorts out both of you two's hair as he starts up his little artificial fan

It's his flower that he always creates, being used as an oscillating fan

10/10 amazing fan. Not too loud, adds a small hum to the background that you only really notice if you focus on it. Its also very pretty

As Albedo fixes up your hair (he insisted, as he fixed up Klee's it was only right he did yours) he thanks you for keeping Klee entertained. Else, Mondstat would probably be on fire right now

You teach Klee how to make paper fans, and she designs each one for you three. Hers is of course Dododo based of course. Albedo will be based on being the 'bestest big brother ever' and his creations. Yours will have something to do with your anemo abilities and being the 'best sibling ever' (obviously, we can't top Albedo so we get second place)

They are very colourful, and are pretty good fans. She just wanted to be like her brother, so please thank and praise her

Poor girl tries to go fish blasting because she wants to be in charge of dinner

You have to stop her, you aren't trying to start the Great Fire of Mondstat after all

Go for a swim instead. Albedo has you sorted out for sunscreen too, so enjoy the waters to your heart's content

If it gets way too hot, you go to his campsite in Dragonspine, and he'll make an artificial sort of summer in there for all three of you to enjoy. Fake sand, fake sun etc. It's much cooler, but just as enjoyable

GANYU

Cryo vision is godsent

Cool drinks, ice pack, cool towels: name it and you have it

You have to pull her into the tea pot. Even though she has a day off (Or rather, a few hours. Ningguang knew hardly anyone would be productive during the hottest hours of the day, so she sent most people home), she can't help but worry about the files she has on the tables every time she passes them

But she makes sure not to leave any files in your Serenitea pot so it's a perfect escape for her

As soon as she settles into the 'no work right now' mindset, she's determined to make you cool as possible

She's half human so she can relate to your struggles better than the other immortals

She makes a giant ice flower in the middle of the room, and it doesn't even melt at all

You use your anemo to blow the cold around the room, like an air conditioner

The air is now a crisp kind of icey air. Just too good

Though its a bit of an active process you both need to do continuously

You use the cryo as an opportunity to make ice cream, a fun little bonding activity for you both

She will definitely enjoy the ice cream, and when you return to the kitchen after a nap, you will find an assortment of ice creams

Ganyu was only meant to make a couple, but she ended up making all sort of ice cream

Mint, sweet flower, violet grass - you name it

Pick a favourite, she will make it for you as much as you like

If you ask, she will place her palms on your head. She's naturally cooler, after all so she's better than ice cubes.

Overall, very good time spent with her!

VENTI

Everyone everyone everyone

Now that I have you attention: you know how hot air rises?

And how venti is the anemo archon?

Let's assume he's made out of air

The poor boy just keeps floating up.

Your talking to him one second, look over and he's on the ceiling the next second:

"I really can't help it Traveler!" he whines as he pushes himself off the ceiling. He tries to grab onto the couch and misses, and is forced to grab onto the table. Even that is not enough to keep him on the ground. "None of these things can help hold me down! You have to help me Traveler!"

"How can I help?"

Venti: *cheeky grin*

And that's how you got stuck with venti latching on to you. Whether you let him loop his arm in yours, or you let him hold your hand, he's ecstatic

(This, this I want to extend into a fic on its own if I can)

He doesn't even care if your sweaty, or you smell musty. He just wants to be close to you.

Still, being with the anemo archon during a hot day has its perks

You never have humid air with him. The air is always so perfect and cool. It's brilliant

Your drinks never go warm either.

He uses his anemo powers to blow wind through your clothes just to cool you down entirely because unlike everyone else, he can cool you down pretty passively without lifting a finger

To thank you for holding him down, he takes you to Windrise when the hottest hours have passed.

As you lay back and enjoy the shade, he plays some ballads about summer, games, and all sorts

He does pause in between them, to admire you, before returning to singing his songs

I would recommend him if you don't mind him being clingy

XIAO

He is judging you so hard lmao

"You claim to immortal, yet you crumble from a bit of heat?"

Melt is a better word than crumble, but we digress

He is sweating as well though, don't doubt it.

When his judging eventually becomes pity (which is pretty quick), he takes you to a bit of a hidden gem in Liyue

A little cave behind a waterfall. It's much cooler than the outside, it has the perfect shade, and the water in the cave passes as a pool you absolutely take advantage of

Xiao planned to watch you from afar, but you dived in and nearly splashes him, much to his annoyance.

You then ended up taking his hand and tugging him in the water

Was not happy at first, but he likes how nice the water feels against his skin so he doesn't complain too much

You also seemed to be feeling better, so he thinks it was worth it

The two of you have little water fights in said pool, both of you using your anemo abilities to cheat.

When you tire out, you both just sit by each other in the water

You thank him, for saving you from melting

He tells you you are being dramatic

But he also tells you, should you wish to return here at any time, you simply need to call his name

You should spend a hot day with him, everyone. Less clingy than Venti, though he's a bit slow in helping

ZHONGLI

Knowledgeable, but hasn't actually experienced heat as a mortal until now

As Morax, he would usually just sleep off the heat, so he has never had the need to actively cool off

However, as Zhongli, he is struggling

Instead of him helping you out, you have to help him out first

Zhongli, for the love of mora, take the coat off

(Feels like a fanfic waiting to be written here. I'll try and make it happen)

He doesn't want to initially. For many reasons, one being he is low-key attached to the coat.

Since it's you though, he does take it off.

Following this, Zhongli is cool enough to actually deliver his fine wisdom

He makes sure both of you hydrate regularly. Especially you, even though he knows you can handle himself, he doesn't want the heat getting to you

He also gets the both of you to put ice on pulse points. Your wrist, and the side of your neck. He says that's how people used to cool down when high temperatures like this was much more common.

This also leads to many stories, how during the especially hot days he would seek permission from Barbatos to allow the Adepti to dig up snow from Dragonspine and then distribute the cold among the people

Both of you also have iced tea.

I think he would have hated the idea initially, believing it to be blasphemy to the art of tea.

Tea is to be brewed and served hot. Why on earth would someone willingly make it cold-

However, one sip and he's sold

In summary, once he's cool enough to think, he would be a good person to seek out

YAE MIKO

You are kind of on your own

You know how smaller organisms have a larger surface area to volume ratio? So have a higher rate of heat loss?

(Yes I am bringing Biology into this)

Yeah, Miko goes into fox form and just sleeps on a pillow in the cooler corner of the room to sleep the heat off

And she will not let you go near her

But you know what? Its actually better this way

Human form miko during hot summer days is kind of a pain to deal with

And I don't mean she's just whining and whinging

I mean her electro vision

The heat and humidity is kind of making her overload, your getting electric shocks just being in her presence

She claims it isn't her fault, but you are beginning to suspect she's using her electro to keep you at a 2 meter radius away from her

But she could have just told you straight - its too hot to cuddle anyway. But this is Miko, so it's expected.

When the sun is a bit more bearable, you both spend the evening resting in the shade of the Sakura tree at the shrine.

Pack a picnic while your at it. She'll be content with just tofu. She has told you how to make it before, so get on with it

You bring what you please. If you look away though, you might turn back and notice bits of your meal missing

Turn to glare at Miko, who is obviously chewing your food but insists it is her tofu

Watch the sunset. It will be very pretty: pink filling the skies and as pool of golden light from the sun begins to dip below the horizon. Take pictures with the Kamera - take pictures of her and with her too while you are at it

(another fic????)

10/10 recommend - the view, at least. Everything else though, spend the hot day with someone else

RAIDEN SHOGUN & EI

I'm sorry but they are almost useless

Ei hasn't experienced summer in centuries, and the Shogun probably has an inbuilt cooling system

They don't know what you are feeling, so they can't exactly help much

Ei asks the commission for various things to cool you down: she is presented with cold water, a hand fan, and more summer appropriate clothes

So the pair of you lounge about in the shade of Tenshukaku, in summer clothing

As the Raiden Shogun fans you (she insisted and you really can't fight against her will), you make a throw away comment about wishing it rained or something

Unfortunately for you, both of them caught that comment and took it very seriously

They figured that if you wanted rain, they could make a small thunderstorm. Easy right?

Queue the worst thunders in Inazuma history

You have to explain to them that heat makes thunders way worse.

It was so bad, they struggled to contain the storm.

(Feeling a whole fanfic here)

It did rain though, but the thunderstorm was a bit too wild. Even you didn't want to go out there.

Essentially, so it was a complete fail

Ei is so embarrassed, Raiden apologizes for her miscalculation.

Please forgive them. They were trying their best

She asks how she can make it up to you after the storm passes

Cold Dango milk

Even though it was meant to be yours as an apology, Ei can't help but drink two, five, ten of the 30 she had gotten you

Raiden Shogun switches her out quickly though, and hurries you into finishing it before Ei succumbs to her cravings again

If you spend a hot summer day with them, good luck

TLDR of best to worst: Albedo, Ganyu, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli, Yae, Ei/Raiden Shogun

Have you seen the weather forecast and how hot it's gonna be? I'm actually screwed.

Stay cool and hydrated everyone!

Thanks for reading.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #venti x reader #albedo x reader #ei x reader #ganyu x reader #raiden shogun x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #yae miko x reader #actual headcanons everyone! im so proud of myself #had to refrain from fics haha #drink a lot of water #wear suncream everyone #stay safe and cool

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nozoditz · 4 months

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In Defence of Takkun (Saki's Faceless Fiancé)

I hate having to be the one to do this. I ship Sakimai. I was disappointed that canon sank it. I wish they hadn't. But Otona bashers keep bringing this up, and just like the Coconozo antis spreading misinformation that is contradicted by the text, they're convinced that Otona is trash and Toei is hateful and manipulative for ever daring to do this. This isn't just about a popular ship being sunk to them, this is a moral outrage. And since the guy doesn't have a voice to speak up for himself (and couldn't anyway, being fictional and all), I'll go through all the common objections and refute them all.

1) This Is Straight-Ironing! Isn't It?

Short answer: no.

I've already gone over this on Mai's part in my theory post that she's still in love with Saki, but Mai's character arc in Otona reads like dealing with and rejecting compulsory heterosexuality. Her boyfriend dumped her via text message and, rather than being heartbroken, she wrestled with the guilt she felt because she was okay with that, happy even. So here I'm just going to focus on Saki. Or rather, not just Saki.

Saki, in Splash Star, had a crush on Mai's older brother, Kazuya. She fell in love with him at first sight way back in episode 5. She got flustered every time he noticed her existence. She spent the Christmas episode worrying about giving him a cake and spiralling (heh) over seeing him with a girl on Christmas to the point that she had to be reminded to pay attention to the whole world-saving thing she was supposed to do.

Being with a guy isn't a new thought or concept for Saki. Yes, her close bond with Mai is the core of Splash Star, to the point that they come off as even more of a couple-to-be than Nagisa and Honoka, who (according to Hugtto and anniversary merch) are an item. But just as you wouldn't ignore Fuji-P and Kiriya when noting that Nagihono is a thing, you shouldn't engage in bi erasure to complain about Sakimai not happening in Otona.

2) It's Insulting to Pair a Main Character with a Faceless Cipher

Maybe, maybe not. Toei's been doing this for decades. The epilogue of Digimon Adventure 02 pairing everyone outside of the most set-in-stone canon couples off with offscreen randos and giving them future children made a lot of people froth and scream about their sunken ships. But, just like in Digimon, the point here is the show isn't about Takkun. It's about the Precure.

Otonapre is, at its heart, nostalgia bait. When the girls reunite as adults, it's to reforge their old friendships the way you remember it. When the Time Flowers give them back their youth, it's to make your heart fuzzy seeing the old stock footage in higher definition. Their poses and pastimes in the OP are a mirror of the Yes OP. The flashbacks are all in the old show's quality, with concessions made for Splash Star having aired in standard definition. Catchphrases remain. Everyone's career aspirations panned out. Grandparents and pets have miraculously all lived for the past 16-20 years in perfect health.

This is the context we're working with. The reason we don't ever see Takkun's face, hear his voice, or get his full name, and only get his nickname from Saki's phone, is that he wasn't in the original, and you're here to see people who were. If Saki had ended up with Kenta, who had a crush on her in the original, or Kazuya, who she liked in turn, you would have seen them. But she didn't, and the person she did end up with is a new character; more on that later. So why would they show him any more than they had to, when they could just give you another shot of Michiru and Kaoru's vtuber career?

3) It Cheapens Saki and Mai's Bond

This is kind of a wild accusation if you look at the show. Saki and Mai are one of the only pairs in the series who spent the entire gap between seasons constantly in contact. They still need each other to transform. They give each other advice. They're introduced together. Saki's focus episode is called "Their Bond." For Blue's sake, the Otonapre collab cafe has a "Saki and Mai's Bond Open-Faced Sandwich" on the menu, and yes, they really called it that.

Their bond has suffered the least, and it's even shown right in the aforementioned episode: Saki fears that they won't be able to transform because she's not the same, because she's faced reality and grown up, and she flashes back to being with her boyfriend. But Mai breaks her out of this, and they're able to transform anyway. And it's clear there that, even if Saki has someone she loves, her bond with Mai hasn't gone away.

Saki and Mai are still the most important people in each other's lives, even if Saki has a romantic relationship. It may be common for your most important person to be your partner, but that's not how it works for everyone in every situation, and that's not how it is for Saki. In the last episode, Mai is the one who sees her off at the airport! Sure, the Hyuugas and Takkun are probably offscreen, but the show clearly wants you to know that Mai is the important one here. That hasn't changed.

4) It's a Precedent for Mahou Girls 2 to Break Up Mirai and Liko

No.

There are a lot of assumptions being thrown around that the message of Saki getting married to a man and Mai having a temporary relationship with one is that girls who like other girls will just "grow up" and turn straight, and that that would carry forward to the Mahoutsukai sequel. (Mahoutsukai? Mahou Girls? Witchy? Toei, can you please pick one official title and stick with it?) But that doesn't gel with the text for all the reasons stated above and below, and there's another reason that I doubt it.

Nostalgia sequels will not, unless they cannot, break up a canon ship. Sometimes this goes to a stupid extent, like Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card only on the surface keeping Tomoyo's having gotten over Sakura but having her then start fangirling over the ideal of the magical girl so that she can still keep doing her "you're so cute, Sakura-chan" thing and not actually grow and find herself a new girlfriend. (At least Otona didn't do that and it let Kurumi get over Coco for real.) But if they weren't gonna sink Coconozo despite a bunch of foreign children whining about "the optics," why do you think they would do it for something else that was stated?

This isn't Sakimai. This isn't the first six seasons where there was always the option of a boy for the girls to date; sometimes, yes (the franchise is pretty bi on the whole), but not always, and not here. Mirai and Liko are one of the most blatant f/f ships in the entire franchise. They kissed in the manga. Sure, it was to undo a magic spell, but you don't give the third wheel a peck on the cheek and your partner a full two-page spread kiss scene without there being a reason.

Also, Otonapre aired at prime time. Mahou Girls 2 is airing at butts o'clock at night. This indicates that content that might set off advertisers in one time slot might slide off another. So if you're worried that pearl-clutching executives might demand Mirai and Liko get boyfriends, I sincerely doubt it. Especially not with the TV yuri anime we've been getting as of late.

And did you forget that the first big chunk of Otona's canon romance, before we even saw Saki and Mai or heard confirmation of their relationship status, before Coco and Nozomi, the main couple, got back together, was Kurumi's drunken love confession to Karen? Just saying.

5) But Then Why Would They Do It?

You know, for people who claim to understand Japanese culture and ideals so much that they'll go on rants for days about how sinking Sakimai means Otona perpetuates the concept of same-gender attraction being training wheels for a "real" straight relationship, these people don't seem to understand that the actual message of their story was attacking another sexist cultural concept: that women shouldn't want to advance in their career and have no hope of doing so because they will and should just get married and quit to serve their husband's wants.

Remember when I touched on why Saki's not just marrying a man, but marrying a rando? This is why. A major part of the show's throughline is that Coconozo, the pairing that was a huge part of Yes and maintains its position as the core of Otona, faces the conflict of both Coco and Nozomi having achieved their dreams. The reason Coco stepped back and focused on work, not visiting Nozomi for years and barely writing even though they still loved each other, was that now that Coco's grown up (and not just pretending to be an adult to become their teacher in a half-baked "how to be useful and stick close to the team" plan that launched years of discourse and misinformation), he's become the king and has more responsibility, and he can't just tear Nozomi away from her dream career. The message here is that he can't, and that's why they compromise in the end, and so if you, viewer at home who identified with Nozomi as a child, feel pressured to quit your job for a man, you shouldn't have to. And that's a big thing for the audience the show is going for.

For that to work, that story needs these foils, and that's where Saki and Mai getting offscreen boyfriends come in. Mai's is the common negative example. He doesn't appreciate how much time and effort she's putting into her art job; in fact, he thinks it's a burden on him, and he breaks up with her via text message. Rather than come crawling back, even if her friends don't understand at first, she ends up washing her hands and throwing the whole man away. He never comes up again.

Saki, on the other hand, deals with her own problem later. Her fiancé hasn't been pressuring her like Mai's boyfriend has, but the expectations of society in general have percolated the guilt in her heart just the same, and she fears that she'll be letting both him and her parents down if she goes for her dreams because it'll get in the way of theirs. With Mai's encouragement and a reminder that she's still the girl who would do things because she wanted them back in 2006, Saki steps up and confesses what she wants, and Takkun is fine with it as long as she's happy. Note that she clears it with him before she clears it with her parents because she knows they will (and they do) ask "are you sure he's okay with this."

Thus, the offscreen boyfriends are there to serve a narrative purpose more than being actual characters. Toei couldn't do that if Saki had ended up with Kazuya or Kenta, and definitely not if she had ended up with Mai. They establish the negative "what if" first with Mai and have her overcome it (so what if he leaves you? If he did, he was trash anyway), and then give Saki a similar "what if" with genuine tension that wouldn't happen if her fiancé was already someone we knew and trusted, then use her story as the positive. That's the foundation that takes us into the finale and the culmination of the romance plot.

Of course, since a lot of the people who hate Otonapre for other reasons like the sinking of Sakimai are also Coconozo antis, Sakimai being sunk for a literary device to allow Coco and Nozomi's love to conquer all may come off as more of a reason to hate it, not less. But if you were going into a sequel to a show where romance was a key point and honestly expected them to get rid of the big main canon ship, please take a breath and go watch something you'll like instead.

#Otona Precure

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westcoastcreative · 2 years

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Daddy’s Home

My EXPLICIT (that’s E-rated) love letter to who Manny Mayans is in my head if they had expanded upon the character in the show. You could definitely replace the wife I wrote for him in with yourself so I guess this is both Manny Mayans x ofc and Manny Mayans x you? 😘

It’s about 1,200 words. Please enjoy.

Among all the things she’d always wanted to be, wife and mother were certainties.

She might have tried to convince herself that those things weren’t as important to her as they were while in other situations with other men, but Manny had only ever asked that she be herself — open and honestly. After much turmoil and pain trying to make pieces fit that just didn’t with others, the deep exhale into unconditional love that came with Manny’s appearance in her life felt like coming home.

He allowed her to be all the things she was and dreamt of being without compromise. A spouse and a parent included — no coaxing or explanation needed. He’d always wanted to be those things, too.

Due to the nature of other things he was, Manny couldn’t always be home with her and Bella. That was perfectly okay, though. One of the other things she happened to be was highly independent.

When Manny was there — at the secluded home they’d purchased together with breathtaking views of sunrise and sunset over the Sonoran Desert — he was present and attentive in yet another way she’d never experienced with any man before him.

Following his most recent return from the road, Bella insisted that the three of them spend two full weekends together doing all the things and going all the places they loved. She was a daddy’s girl through and through, but by the third weekend she was ready to agree to a single night with her grandparents while Mom and Dad enjoyed an evening to themselves. Manny and his wife got a fire going in the backyard and caught up on all that had transpired in their separate but shared adult worlds while they were apart, gazing at the stars and sipping their favorite special occasion wine as they sat close.

Leaning in to nose behind her ear and sniff her hair, Manny placed a soft kiss on his wife’s neck. She felt his breath there when he murmured, “God, I miss this so much when I’m gone.”

Her closed lips turned up in a small smile as she finished a sip of wine, lashes lowering with the contented, flattered giddiness that his deep voice and relaxed confidence still elicited since the first time she’d ever heard it, all those years ago. Her hand moved to gently squeeze his thigh. Manny reached up to nudge her face in his direction, his big brown eyes a mix of sincere, captivated and hungry, like the first time they’d ever met hers.

“I miss your cooking, your voice, the way you keep our space so beautiful…” he smiled observantly in the direction of a throw pillow next to him — one she’d added to their outdoor sofa while he was away, striped with oranges and pinks that perfectly mirrored the colors of the desert sunsets the sky cast before their modern white farmhouse every evening at dusk. Manny was the only man she’d ever been with who noticed those things, too.

He abandoned talk of the pillow to grab for her waist, guiding her to sit up and straddle him. He swept the hair back from her eyes so he could look directly into them again. “…the way you make sure Bella and I have the best fuckin’ life.”

She smiled a little more noticeably then, trying her best not to tear up at the perfect dream of a partner for her that was Manny.

“I miss you so much when I’m gone, baby,” Manny whispered, not breaking eye contact.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, her small French-manicured hands grasping his shoulders.

“I miss you, too…” she batted her eyes open and replied. With a playful smirk she bit her lip, gazing down at him sweetly and added, “… Daddy.”

Manny growled and jerked his hips up ever so slightly at her use of the name — one she’d offered up on her own when they first started getting intimate and he happily accepted.

“Yeah? You missed Daddy?” Manny bit his tongue between his teeth as he reached back to wrap his fist around her hair and yank her head back just an inch so his eyes could see all of her pretty orbs closer up.

“You miss this, too?” his other hand dipped into the crotch of her thin, ribbed lounge pants, pressing the flats of index and middle fingers against her bare slit.

His eyes stayed on hers.

Again she fought the welling of tears, these of a different kind than when he was telling her how much he missed her voice and cooking. Manny could read her need precisely.

“Now that we’re alone you gonna let me hear how much you missed it?” he quickly, deftly pushed two fingers into her already pulsing warm wetness.

His wife let out a loud sob but tried to stifle the second and third of its kind down, despite the fact that their closest neighbors were football fields away.

Manny pressed the heel of his hand down against her clit as he continued to finger fuck her with the full length of his long, perfectly thick fingers.

“Daddy,” she cried out and he pulled her hair harder, moving his mouth to bite at her lower lip.

“That’s it, you gon’ let ‘em know, ‘Daddy’s home,’ for me, okay baby?” his voice got gravely with the dotingly delivered command.

He was teasing her, knowing she was very reserved and well-mannered in her life outside their bedroom. Not a fan of heavy PDA. Classy, if not a little uptight. He also knew that — realistically — no one could hear them. Manny loosened her up while honoring her boundaries.

His wife’s eyes flared with turned-on annoyance at what he was asking her to do. She ground her pelvis and the back of his hand connected to it down against his hard cock and smirked.

Manny tsked as he pushed his hips up slightly to create more friction.

“Ah, ah, ah, none of that until I hear you tell ‘em I’m home, honey. Let ‘em know how well you’re being taken care of,” his hand released her hair to slide down and grab her asscheek, adding just a little more pressure as he dragged her pelvis against his length.

“Daddy,” she wailed out louder like a child who wasn’t going to get her way but was still trying to hold out. Her mouth fell open and Manny leaned his in again to greet it, this time wrapping his lips around her tongue in a gentle suck.

He guided her ass and hips down at just the angle he knew was going to send her over the edge and moved his mouth to bite down on her neck as it hit her.

“Daddy’s home!” she screamed into the starry darkness around them, coming and then shaking with smaller orgasms for a minute or two while Manny helped her let her body down with less intense thrusts of his fingers.

“That’s right, mama. Daddy’s home.” Manny growled into her neck as he removed his hand from inside her pants to grab her other asscheek and carry her inside for the evening.

#manny mayans #Mayans #mayans mc #Mayans manny #manny x wife!ofc #manny Mayans x reader #manny Mayans x wife!ofc #manny x you #manny Montana #manny montana imagine #manny montana smut #manny mayans smut

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au-starss · 1 year

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DAY 20 - CHRISTMAS EVENT !

༄ synopsis… you had planned the perfect evening to celebrate christmas, little did you know pantalone had some plans as well

༄ characters… pantalone x gn!reader

༄ tags… christmas event day 20: 'a christmas proposal w/ pantalone', proposal, fluff, petnames, slight angst if u squint

༄ words… 1k

༄ author’s thoughts… one of the late ones! my apologies! this takes inspiration from my mom's proposal amd i found it fitting considering dec 20th is her birthday :) masterlist.

Pantalone’s home wasn’t exactly the most festive place during Christmas. You would think that the children would convince everyone to do at least something for the holiday. But nothing ever was. At most, on Christmas they come together to play in the snow while exchanging rocks and sticks.

Convincing Pantalone to do a little celebration between the two of you turned out to be pretty easy. He gave a simple yes the first time, no questions asked. Though, the more you thought about it, the less strange it seemed. Your lover was always known for giving you anything your heart desired, which was never much.

But even then, these past few days he’s been different. It wasn’t something any regular person who knows him could notice. But you did. The way he’s been constantly messing with the rings that decorated his gloves. The way he seems to get lost in staring at his work for a split second, only to brush it off and get back to work. Even the way he talked to you seemed to have something behind it causing him nervousness.

In the end, you chalked it up to him just nervous for your little holiday celebration and your overthinking skills.

The night came of your two exchanging gifts and eating dinner together. As your meal continued, your lover seemed to be way more quiet than usual. He wasn’t ignoring you, per se. But rather, he was giving one-worded responses to whatever you said. Normally, he would talk about his latest work endeavors and more. But nope, nothing.

Thoughts began racing through your head. Maybe he was.. tired of you? Were you not interesting anymore? The status between you two was definitely evident, maybe he finally realized he deserves better than you.

You stare down at your food with these thoughts, not noticing the way Pantalone stared at you. There was a look of indifference and worry on his face.

Not for you, but actually for himself.

Pantalone had been planning this day for months. He’s had his heart set on marrying you for quite some time now. The partner status simply didn’t appeal anymore. He wanted to proudly call you his spouse. To show off matching wedding rings and bands while walking around the streets of Teyvat. To claim you, once and for all.

He had been searching for the perfect time to pop the question. And luckily, you proposed a small Christmas celebration. It was a perfect set up.

Pantalone took a quiet deep breath, preparing himself. “My love, have you finished your meal?”

His words snap you from your thoughts while you glance back up. And you still couldn’t deny the rush such pet names gave you.

“Yeah, I did. It was delicious.” You respond.

Your lover merely smiles. “Good. Now, how about we exchange gifts, hm.” He proposes, and you agree.

You both leave the table to grab your hidden presents, only to return moments later with them in hand. You agree to go first and hand over Pantalone’s gift (which he was quite relieved about).

Upon opening the box, he discovers you got him hand-embroidered gloves. They were black with gorgeous flower outlines along the cuff. They were stunning.

“These are absolutely perfect. Thank you, darling.” Pantalone says, slipping off his old gloves. “Where did you obtain these?”

“Oh, I made them on my own. I picked up a small hobby over the past months.”

He was quite impressed with how well they were done for a “small hobby”. Nevertheless, he decided against putting on the gloves at the moment.

It would help make his question more intimate in his opinion.

“I suppose it is my turn.” Pantalone says, standing to bring over a small box wrapped with a beautiful bow.

You grow excited as Pantalone hands you the box, staying in his spot. You found it slightly odd, but didn’t question him. Instead, you unwrapped the wrapping paper.

Inside, you found a tiny black box. Confusion flooded you until you opened the box, finding a gorgeous blue amethyst ring, with a silver band.

“Pantalone..”

That’s when you notice the fond smile on your lover’s face. He takes the box from your hands, kneeling down and holding it out to you.

“[Name], my precious dear, I have been a better man since I met you. You have shown me that there is more to life than the fatui. And I’m forever in your debt because of that.” He speaks, the words flowing like water. “Allow me to start repaying that debt to you. By being by your side till the end of time. Will you marry me, my love?”

Both of you combined had so many overwhelming emotions in this moment. You felt like you were dreaming, truly. But you weren’t. Pantalone was right here in front of you, with a gorgeous ring, and a big life-changing question.

How could you possibly say no?

The smile gracing Pantalone’s lips grew wider as you nodded your head yes. He’s quick to scoop you from your chair to the floor, hugging you tightly.

He doesn’t remember the last time he felt truly this happy. His line of work wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But you provide tranquility from it all. A safe-haven that allows him to escape from the cruel world he endures daily.

You both pull back from the hug, and Pantalone slips the ring on your finger. It shines brightly under the light. A beautiful symbol of the now and close future for you both.

Your lover pulls you into a kiss, sharing the mutual love you feel for each other.

The ring he gave promises a forever of love and safety. Pantalone knows he’s not the safest person to be with, but archons he will protect you with everything he has.

You hold your fiancè close, absorbing his warmth. You were truly happy at that moment. Everything was going well for you both, and now you were getting married!

Even though the rest of the evening was filled with wedding talk, it was the best Christmas either one of you could have asked for.

༄ taglist… @deffenferofjustice @pinkflamme @scaramouches-beloved @scarasbaby

#༄ order up!#genshin impact #genshin x reader #fatui pantalone #pantalone genshin impact #pantalone x you #pantalone genshin #pantalone x reader #pantalone

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stormyoceans · 11 months

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As someone who doesn't like vice versa I dare you to try make me like jimmysea

SKFGDSKFGSKDGFSKDGF I—i mean if they're not really your thing i doubt anything i could say is gonna make you like them but YEAH OKAY SURE WHY NOT I CAN TRY

let's meet our boys separately first!!!!

jimmy. actor, doctor, babygirl. frankly has my undying admiration even just for being able to juggle his acting job while also studying to become a dermatologist and somehow succeeding at both literally could never be me. people tend to dislike him for his role as wai in bad buddy, but you only need to watch any bts video from the show to see how much he is adored by everyone and if anything that should be proof of the absolute range he has as an actor. avocado enthusiast and self proclaimed extrovert (is he tho. is he really), don’t get fooled by his quiet and responsible appearance, he’s actually the most deranged man in the industry. i still remember the day an anon told me he improvised nomming on his co-star's face and using a pillow to suggest stripping said co-star down and eating him out all in the name of Acting™ because i've never been the same ever since. the me before and after i was given this information are completely different people

sea. actor, athlete, dog dad. you won't get a single objective thought out of me because i am: Disgustingly Fond. debuted with a killer performance in the show 55:15 never too late as a supporting character, the fact that he's somehow still so underrated when he's one of the best actor in GMMTV makes me want to bark bite maim kill. he is an actual ray of sunshine with a smile that could light up the entire world and also the perfect example of an introvert: he has the innate ability to somehow disappear from any social gathering, but if he wakes up in a silly goose mood you will find him shamelessly twerking in front of everyone and being an absolute goofball. he's also a great singer and goes along with everything jimmy does because he is a big Simp™ (who's more deranged, the one who noms first, or the one who noms back, this is the question)

and now onto them as a pairing!!!!!

jimmysea. with a 5 years difference between them, they are actually the pair with the biggest age gap in GMMTV, which could have come in the way of their on- and off-screen relationship, but from what we are privy of i think you can see in every interaction they have that they clearly adore and are incredibly fond of each other. maybe it's because they share the same kind of derangement, or maybe it's because they both are very hardworking and humble boys who always try to give their best, but somehow they work. as the older one jimmy is always there to help and guide sea however he can, but when he needs it sea is ready to step up and carry the weight for him. they may not possess the kind of chemistry that's all sparks and fireworks, but they have a quiet gentle intimate one that makes them look like they've been married for years, which is also helped by their insane ability of looking at each other with so much love and adoration in their eyes it feels like your heart is getting curb stomped against the sidewalk. they don't really know what fan service is and they can go weeks without seeing each other (the drought eras), but when they do hang out they usually go out to eat and swim together (preferably at the pool in sea's condo after jimmy drives him back)

..not sure why this came out as a sales pitch tbh ;;;;;; honestly there are a lot of things i could add and if i were to convince you to like them i should probably send you links to videos and stuff like that but. im not really good with this sort of things ;;;;;; (i guess i could still suggest you to watch their praew interview to have an idea of their dynamic)

in the end all i can tell you is why i personally like them, which is mainly because what transpires of their relationship feels very genuine to me and they seem to be really sweet boys who just stand in their introverted corner minding their business doing their own thing portraying high romance and giving incomprehensible levels of adoration derangement goofiness talent ability skills. THEY ARE JUST SO COMFORT SHAPED TO ME IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY

#me looking at myself in the mirror every single morning: today you're gonna be normal about jimmysea and vice versa and last twilight #me every single day without fail: [is embarrassingly deranged about them]#BUT IDK I FEEL LIKE I DIDN'T REALLY DO A GOOD JOB BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY PULLED OUT VIDEOS AND PICS AND EVENTS BUT #can't believe i failed both my boys and anon #if anyone wants to add anything to this please feel free to do it!!!!#jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #jimmysea #m: ask

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megsbr · 2 years

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love you from a distance | sapnap.

Sapnap goes to prom with his best friend that he happens to be in love with. And things take a turn when the lovers least expect it.

cc!Sapnap x fem!reader

WARNINGS: angst, mention of character death word count: 3k

author's note: i was listening to a really good sad song playlist a thought up an idea for some angst. idk if this is good at all as it's pretty different from my normal posts but i was excited to try some new! hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

They say if you love something you should let it go. And if it was meant to be, it will come back to you. Sapnap always admired that quote ever since his mom said it to him for the first time when he was ten and he didn’t make the school basketball team. The quote didn’t really fit at the moment, but he still liked it and always referred to it when things didn’t go his way. He taught himself to not get hung up on things that didn’t go his way or were out of his grasp.

It wasn’t until now that Sapnap hated that quote more than anything. As helpful as that quote is when you don’t make the basketball team or if you must end a friendship but when it comes to love, the quote is the worst. When reciting that quote, most people do not say the second part, “If it doesn’t come back, then it was never meant to be”.

Sapnap knew he was in love with his best friend but it wasn’t until they went to the high school prom together that he did anything about it.

Neither of them had dates and they knew they would hang out together at the dance anyway. So why not wear coordinated colors to make it official? What seemed like a simple solution for her to have a ride to the dance, was a heart-racing, sweaty palm panic for Sapnap.

He spent hours with his mom picking out the best corsage to give you when he showed up on your doorstep. His mom could tell this was a big deal for the love-struck teenager and stopped herself from commenting on her son’s pickiness about some flowers.

The night of the dance Sapnap played it as cool as possible despite checking his outfit in the mirror every 5 minutes and going through his checklist of things a million times. Car keys, wallet, tickets, phone, corsage. He didn’t want anything to mess up this night for her, it all needed to be perfect.

Sapnap was a nervous wreck the whole drive to her house. He had already felt like he sweat through his suit and felt like the tie on his neck was suffocating him. Before he knew it, he was at the doorstep, clutching the plastic box in one hand and forming a tight fist in the other. After a few deep breaths, he brought his fist up to knock on the door. Her parents answered as they have every time he was made this exact type of visit and invited him inside with bright smiles.

They said she was just finishing up getting ready and would be down any minute. Her mom was calling him handsome, and her dad was giving the ‘keep her safe and don’t do anything we wouldn't' talk. But the world went quiet when he heard the soft heel clicks on the stairs. It felt like the Earth stopped spinning at that moment he looked up to the top of the stairs and saw her.

The flowing pink fabric swirled around her in a cloud of tulle. She had a bright, wide smile on her face as she locked eyes with her date. He was in a nice black suit, with a pale pink vest, that originally took a lot of convincing to get him to wear. From his shiny shoes to his slightly off-center tie that looked like it had been pulled at to his styled hair that was a drastic change from his normal hat hair, she was in awe of the boy at the bottom of the stairs.

The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering so much it felt like they had moved into her stomach, bought a house, raised some kids, and retired by now. She suddenly couldn’t remember the way she wanted to vomit as she had walked up to him a few weeks to ask him if he wanted to be her date to the dance. And the diary filled with the name of the boy at the bottom of her stairs with hearts surrounding it seemed like less of a fantasy the closer she got to him. With the way he was looking at her right now, she had never felt more seen.

The eye contact between the two teenagers never broke, even as her parents ran around them looking for a camera and was pushing them out into the yard. Sapnap sheepishly said hello, shoving his hands in his pockets as a way to make himself seem smaller. His obvious nerves comforted his date as she too quietly mumbled a hi back. Her parents were still searching for the perfect place with the best lighting for them to take photos when she noticed the box in Sapnap’s hand.

“Is that for me?” She was the first to break eye contact as she stared at the pretty flowers in the box, heart-swelling at the fact he bought a corsage for her. She had totally forgotten to tell Sapnap that a corsage was something he kind of needed to get. And he did it all on his own. “O-oh, y-yeah. It is.” He was rambling about how he couldn’t find the right shade of pink and that he understands if she was mad about it not matching. She placed her hand on top of his shaking ones wrapped around the plastic and assured him that she loved it.

What she didn’t tell him was that it was perfect because it was from him. It could have been the ugliest shade of green or been flowers he picked from his front yard, and she would have been just as happy to wear it on her wrist. With his hands still shaking, Sapnap delicately removed the bracelet from its box and helped slip it on his best friend’s wrist, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest at any moment.

They finally tore themselves away from the bubble they were in as her parents called their names and flashes surrounded them. The pair laid into one another as they smiled for the camera. Her hands were positioned in front of her and his were situated on her waist. After a few photos, she relaxed into his touch and leaned more against his chest.

Since they were toddlers, they’ve taken hundreds of photos together. But these were different because they were so close. And she could feel his hot breath on her cheek and could smell the faint cologne he only wore for special occasions. And Sapnap couldn’t not notice how soft her hair felt when it slightly brushed against his neck and how warm she was in his arms.

If you would have told Sapnap not even a month ago that he would be taking cheesy prom photos with his best friend, who happened to be the love of his life, he wouldn’t have believed you.

Once they escaped the camera in their face and the gushing parents and got into Sapnap’s car, after he held open the door like a true gentleman, the pair felt more like themselves. They laughed as they put on their joint playlist and drove off to the school.

They settled into each other’s company quickly as the familiar rows of houses passed them by. “I want to leave this town.” She mumbled one of her most common thoughts for the first time as they passed by the park where she twisted her ankle and Sapnap helped carry her to the bench and gave her his juice box. “Oh really? Since when?” The duo always talked about attending the local state college together and getting an apartment together, maybe with a pet fish or something.

Neither one of the teenagers thought they would amount to much unless it was together.

Sapnap was a gamer who had no interest in school, and she was a dreamer who couldn’t be tied down to one subject. Opposites they were but it worked. He taught her the strategy and skills needed to play Minecraft and she showed him how to let go and enjoy the natural things the world had to offer.

“I don’t know. Just know I want to leave. As soon as possible.” The car came to stop at a red light, and she was face to face with the gas station, where Sapnap once convinced her to eat a weird-looking burrito that ended up giving her food poisoning.

He made up for it by watching rom coms with her for the whole week and holding her hair back every time she threw up. Sapnap looked over to see her staring at the familiar building, the same memory flashing in his mind. It was at this moment he noticed the small amount of glitter that was on her eyelids that just brightened up her eyes even more. It shined with every move she made and was mesmerizing to look at. There was a look of longing in her eyes as she kept seeing all the places that held a memory. A memory with Sapnap. She knew she would be able to leave this place but only if it was with him. And he felt the same way.

“Hey, look at me.” Sapnap picked up one of her hands, ignoring how soft it felt in his sweaty one. Her head turned to face him, her features soft and curious as she put all her attention on him. “I promise, with everything in me, that I will get you out of here. As soon as possible. We will run away to anywhere you want to go.” Her heart almost burst at the thought of him dropping his whole life, his whole family, his whole future to run away to God knows where with her. The rest of the drive was filled with loud singing and jokes about how off-key they were. The school parking lot was filling up as they got there, and the crowds of dresses and suits flooded into the poorly decorated gym.

Unknown to the other, each teenager made eye contact with their friends, waving them off when they tried to gesture to the person they had their arm locked with. They found a table to set their stuff at and immediately went to get a drink at the sad excuse for a refreshment table. They opted for the water when a fellow student warned them the punch was spiked already.

The pair suddenly got very insecure again, too scared to get close to the other and seemingly out of conversation topics. Other friends came up to talk to them at one point, taking some group pictures together and exchanging compliments on each other’s outfits.

While in conversations with separate people, a slow song had come on and all their couple friends moved to the designated dancefloor. And their other single friends teamed up to push Sapnap and his date together and in the direction of the dancing couples. They both stumbled a bit as they sent glares to their friends for the not-so-subtle move. Sapnap took a step forward to the girl in pink and invited her to dance, just like his dad had taught him to. She accepted the offer with a step forward of her own.

Sapnap thought back to the YouTube videos he watched the night before about how to position his hands most respectfully. He settled into the perfect spot on her waist, and she draped her arms around his neck. They had enough space they wouldn’t get interrupted by the chaperones but were close enough that they could see every detail on each other’s faces.

He noticed the shiny lip gloss on her lips that looked like it was tempting him every second to just lean in a little bit. She noticed the little freckles that littered his nose that she has always wanted to pepper with kisses.

They made the smallest of small talk about how hot it was in the room and how crowded the floor was. He cracked a joke about the kid who obviously had gotten into the punch that was currently hitting the whip to a slow love song. Her giggle-filled his ears and a smile grew on his face as she fell into his shoulder.

He didn’t believe the joke warranted that big of a laugh, but he was just happy he could get it out of her. They continued to sway together for the rest of the night, even when the song changed, and dance circles formed next to them. They never moved from their spot with one another.

The night slipped away from them when they were suddenly alerted by their friends, who had been letting them live in their bliss, told them they were shutting down the dance. Sapnap had decided to not let go of the soft hand that brushed against his as they walked to pick up their belongings and head back to the car. Still wrapped in the attention of the other, they lazily agreed to meet up with the others at the local 24-hour diner in town.

Sapnap drove away from the school but turned left instead of right, which was the opposite route to the diner. Giggles filled the car as they heard honks behind them for driving away from the agreed plan. The radio was blaring, and the streetlights were whizzing by them as they got on the highway to drive into the city. There was time to kill until curfew and neither of them was ready to end the night. Sapnap rolled the windows and screamed out in excitement as the wind came rushing through the car, whipping his hair around and causing a slight ringing in his ear. The girl next to him undid her seatbelt to lean out of the window and take in the world around her. She felt all the worries in the world fly away. She felt like she was weightless.

Sapnap couldn’t help but look at the beautiful girl who looked like the definition of living in the moment. Her hair was falling out of the pins she had spent hours perfecting. The pair felt like nothing could stop them. “You look crazy!” Sapnap exclaimed as he looked back and forth between her and the road. She looked anything but crazy, she looked free and happy. Her carefree demeanor relaxed every muscle in Sapnap’s body. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this girl.

He wanted to be hers and wanted her to be his. The cheesy good morning texts and the matching couple bracelets. Living together and traveling the world. Getting married and having kids. He wanted it all. He could see it right in front of him right now.

And as she turned to look back into the car and saw the most handsome side profile of the boy she has grown up with, she wanted all the same things. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair when he was upset and wanted to force him to do spa nights with her. She realized how badly she wanted to listen to love songs and think of him.

Settling back in her seat, she leaned to cup his face in her hand, dragging his attention to her and away from the road. He looked so alarmed, but it quickly faded when he saw her smiling face.

They couldn’t see each other that well at first but a light suddenly appeared and lit up the car. And they basked in each other’s features. Neither of them noticed the slight sway of the car or the blaring car horn, similar to the one of their friends from moments ago.

The teenagers were locked onto one another as they leaned in closer and brushed their lips against one another. For a split second, it was just them, wrapped in each other’s existence and staring into their future with one another.

But from the next second and beyond, it was silent. One pair of lips was ripped away from the other in an instant. And the other pair of lips never recovered. Broken glass and dented metal found their way onto the girl’s lips, accompanied by spots of blood. One soul lay lifeless on the pavement and the other stared in pain. The taste of one another never left the car but they did, separately, never to be reunited with their future.

Sapnap could never forgive himself. Even years later, now with a new life, in a new town, with new friends, and the perfect life, he still blamed himself for that night. He had the most perfect life that had been waiting for him and the perfect girl. He was always told by his family and friends that gaming couldn’t be a career, but she had always had faith in Sapnap that he would make it work. After denying his acceptance into the college they toured together, Sapnap threw himself into streaming and making new friends online. Thousands of people all over the world loved him and supported him.

But none of them was the girl in the pretty pink dress. None of them was the girl who knew all his secrets. None of them was the girl who had a playlist of his favorite songs. None of them was the girl he wanted to marry. None of them was the girl who didn’t keep her seatbelt on.

None of them were her.

#sapnap fic #sapnap #angst #sapnap angst #sapnap x reader #sapnap x fem!reader #sapnap dsmp #cc!sapnap #cc!sapnap angst #dsmp angst #sapnap dteam #sapnap mcyt #sapnap fic dsmp #I dont do angst that much #pls enjoy #and let me know what you think #dteam fic #dream team sapnap #dream team fic

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theoriginalsapphic · 1 year

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Most Mlevens seem like they're very unintelligent people. I'm not talking about the young fans, but the guys on Reddit who sit around thinking they're geniuses because they saw Mike and El kiss, and used their superior powers of deduction to observe that Mike and El are currently dating.

Then they try to refute Byler evidence that even the casual viewers noticed, and their reasoning sounds like it's coming from a person who has had zero friends or normal social interactions in their lives. "Mike wasn't upset that the Byers' phone line was busy because he wanted to call his friend. He has a girlfriend, who he called during S3, so that must mean she's the only person he has ever called in his life. Once a guy has a girlfriend, he doesn't have friends anymore or talk to anyone else ever."

First of all, I’m so sorry it took me so long to reply.

The subreddit has started very recently to accept that Will is gay, and that is after of months of being in denial of the obvious and after it had to be confirmed in multiple interviews and statements outside of the show that Will is, in fact, gay. And when I say it was hard to convince them that Will is gay, I mean it.

And don’t even bother trying to imply that Mike could be anything but their mediocre gamer self-insert that ends up living the perfect heteronormative life with the coolest girl in the world for virtue of being the main male character.

mind you, these are the same type of people that saw Mike treat El with basic kindness and decided that it meant they were in love and meant to be together forever.

There is also complete lack of misunderstanding that Will’s sexuality arc, his history of trauma, and his connection with the supernatural are intrinsically connected and that all of them are equally important to Will’s character and the story.

There is also just a complete disregard about the only confirmed queer characters in general, because if they aren’t there to be the supporting cast to the straight characters, their presence on screen is worthless and a waste of time.

If there is something that signgate has left as a lesson it’s that we shouldn’t bother even thinking about the subreddit. If any other ship had been written on that sign, the posts about it would still be up. They straight up admitted to deleting posts that discusses byler, thus making it clear that the subreddit isn’t actually for everyone despite what its name may say.

My point is, don't even bother with reddit.

#byler #i ship byler and want it to become canon for many reasons but one of them is out of spite #i need homophobes to seethe and spew foam out of their mouths at this point #also i couldn't find but i'm pretty sure that the 'eleven and will are going to have a secret love affair in season 4'#and 'will is in love with nancy and the painting is about that' came from that subreddit #again i'm so sorry this took me so long i had a week

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infernalodie · 2 years

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𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 || 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐊𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐢

“𝘚𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯”

Inspo: Delacey - Cruel Intentions

Pairing: Nobara Kugisaki x Demon!Fem!reader

Summary: Sukuna using Itadori as a host was bad enough. But Nobara didn’t need to be dealing with the most powerful demon’s sister. Not to mention the feelings she wasn’t at all prepared to have for someone as alluring as you.

Warnings: Angst, smut, characters aged up, Slight dub-con, oral (Nobara receiving), praise kink, dumbification, and pet names.

Words 2652

DNI IF YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

Nobara knew you were bad news the moment she saw you. The moment you had punched Megumi through a building, she knew that you were a force to be reckoned with. Not to mention the fact that, unlike your brother, Sukuna, you were in your best form. You had made the body of a woman double Nobara in height and muscle mass your host. So, when Nobara had tried to fight, it had only ended with her being pinned to a wall and you sniffing her neck like a dog.

If she had known that this moment would’ve changed everything she knew about you, maybe she would’ve spoken up and done something. But by the time you were done taking in her scent and every beautiful curve of her body, you were hooked. She still remembers how your breathy laugh felt on her neck, sending shivers down her spine like a current.

“Oh, I can’t wait to play with you, cupcake.”

You had surrendered to Gojo after that. Decided to give your allegiance as long as your brother was stuck inside Itadori. Of course, none of them believed it for a single moment, but you didn’t care. Not when you had finally found your brother and a brand new plaything. And the best part was that Gojo clearly saw the liking you had taken to Nobara and decided, unfortunately for Nobara, to pair you two together.

That seemed to be where Nobara things started to spiral for her. Every assignment was filled with your not-so-subtle comments about what you wanted to do to her or the flirty comments. Even the possessiveness you held for her had no limit as you had nearly killed Nishimiya for trying to fight her at the Exchange Event.

“They don’t demand strength from female jujutsu sorcerers,” Nishimiya announced from her place in the air, seated on her broom. “They demand perfection!”

Nobara scoffed, shifting her feet as three nails floated in the air in front of her. Glowing a blue flame around them with cursed energy. But as she was about to attack, a humming cut into the air. Her body froze up as footsteps advanced from her right.

No, no, no, no.

“Nobara-san!” That all too familiar and annoying whine had Nobara snapping her head in your direction. Hands stuffed in your pockets with your head lulled back. “I waited in the car as you told me. Time’s up, I wanna come play.”

Unfortunately, when you opened your eyes, you froze at the sight of the girl. Your eyes twitched as you stared at the prominent cuts and bruising on her right cheek. Hissing with your canine’s baring as Nobara began to wave her hands in panic.

“Y/n!” She exclaimed nervously. “Hi! Can you go back to the car? I am almost done here and then I’ll let you take me to where ever you would like. How does that sound?”

But she should’ve known that convincing the sister of Sukuna Ryomen wasn’t going to be as easy as that. As well as you have taken a liking to her. So, she only began whimpering and exclaiming reassurances when you turned your burning gaze toward Nishimiya.

“Did you touch my pet?”

It all was a bit much, yet, you did nothing to stop from seeing that warm blush on her cheeks. You were quickly able to put together that she stumbled over her words whenever you said such things.

“Y/n, help me, please?” Nobara dodged the attack of the cursed the both of you had been assigned to exorcize. So far, you have proven to be practically useless today.

“Nobara,” you scolded playfully. “At least take me out to dinner before you start asking me to please that sweet pussy of yours.”

The comment had Nobara letting out a squeak of surprise. Which caused her focus on the cursed to waver, giving the creature an opening to hit her. She went flying back, but not before you caught her in your arms.

“So fragile, you humans,” you sighed. “Must I do all the work?”

Placing the woman down on her two feet, you were met by a slap across the face. One that didn’t shake your exterior that held strong, lips curled into a mischievous grin. “Don’t ever imply I am weak, Y/n Ryomen,” Nobara barked. “I’ll kill you if you do.”

Your smirk only seemed to widen with such an empty and pointless threat. Really, the only person capable of hurting you or killing you was Gojo. Probably even your brother, but you two had been inseparable since the day you two were born. But Nobara? The only thing she could hurt was herself by ever attempting such an act.

But the fight she had in her was amusing, endearing actually. So much resistance in such a soft and stubborn body. It may have been one of the things you liked about her. She could keep up a front and hold herself together quite well, but you had been unravelling her layers for weeks now. You were slowly reaching the part of her that showed her most sinful desires.

Leaning down to her eye level, you cupped her chin. Nobara inhaled sharply, eyes wide as she watched you stare intently at her soft, pink lips. “No need to act all mighty, Kugisaki.” Your thumb brushed across her bottom lip, toying with it lightly. Lips twitching into a bigger grin when feeling her warm pant on the tip of your digit.

Just a bit more peeling of the layers.

“Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to relinquish yourself of it.” Your eyes flickered up to hers, finding her staring just as intently at your lips as you had been.

The least you expected was for her to actually be listening to anything you had been saying. “I can’t do that when you’re always childish,” she muttered, taking a tiny step towards you. “I can’t trust you, Y/n.”

It sounded like she was hurt to even admit such a thing. In a way, it did hurt as even after all this time spent with you, she couldn’t find the tiniest bit of herself able to lean on you when she needed it. Something like that should’ve been developed over a few months, but half a year has gone by and Nobara couldn’t entrust you with her life. Maybe it was the fact that you were the second most powerful demon in the world. Or maybe it was the fact that she couldn’t trust herself when she was around you.

Whatever the reason may be, it frustrated her that she couldn’t find some sort of compatibility with you.

“I’m sorry.”

Nobara’s eyes widened at the sound of choking filling the air. Staring up at your hulking figure with your arm extended out by your side, choking the cursed with your bare hands as it writhed and fought to get free. She glanced at the disturbing creature before looking back up at you, finding a weird shift of energy coming from you.

And in a brief moment of vulnerability, Nobara leaned into your touch. Closing her eyes, surrendering herself just enough that told you the amount of time you’d put into her finally reaching something. Sure, she wasn’t on your bed crying your name (not yet anyway), but it was enough to leave you smiling.

The hand holding the cursed tightened into a vice and caused the creature to explode. Nobara nor you were bothered that now, this abandoned building now only help both you two. But Nobara wasn’t focused on that. Instead, she watched the way your eyes darkened, but help so much fondness in its place.

“What is it that you wish for me to do to earn that trust?” Your lips drew closer to hers, your warm eyes looking down into hers. Nobara’s lips parted, hoping that she could find the explanation needed to fill that spot in her that you had yet to cover.

But when she was about to speak, the sound of someone clapping filled the air. “Good job, you two!” Gojo’s voice made you groan, turning your head to stare at him with a deadpan.

The look you gave was enough to have him stop. “What’s with the long face?”

Glancing at Nobara, you found her silent, now realizing how close you two were. Scoffing, you walked away, bumping shoulders with Gojo on your way out. Planning on spending the rest of your night in your bedroom, staring up at the ceiling with Nobara on your mind.

And that is exactly what happened. Soft tunes of music filled your dark room where you lay on your bed, eyes shut in hope of falling asleep. Knowing damn well that either you were awake or asleep, the girl the room over would still haunt you. A major weakness of yours that you hated to admit or even confront whenever your brother decided to mock you about it.

A knock at your door alerted you. “If someone is about to ask me to get out of bed, I’m going to blow your fucking head off!” You barked, getting up from your bed and stomping towards the door.

When you swung the door open, you were greeted by the presence of Nobara. Primarily the fact that she wore a large sweater and no pants. Her tanned soft legs were the first thing that you saw. Then it was the nervous look in her eyes as she tried to avoid your gaze, which was extremely adorable coming from such a strong woman as herself.

“Nobara?” You muttered, leaning a bit out and glancing down the hall before looking down at her. “What are you doing-”

Before you could reply, Nobara’s lips were on yours. The action left you breathless as you grasped her hips and spun her around. Kicking the door shut with your foot as you moved Nobara towards your bed. The back of her legs met the mattress and resulted in both of your lips parting with your straddling her waist.

“Where did this come from, princess?” Your lips travelled up the curve of her neck. Hands precariously moving along the muscular bumps of Nobara’s stomach. Lips curved into a permanent grin at the sound of Nobara’s pants and whimpers.

Situating yourself between her legs, your hand rested softly on the inside of her thighs. Your crotch pressed against her, grinning at the dishevelled sight of Nobara beneath you. Chest rising and falling rapidly as her eyes battled to stay open as you pulled your shirt over your head to be only discarded to the side.

Nobara got to see the tattoo’s that you and Sukuna shared in similarities. A lot of them matched his, but somehow yours only furthered the attraction she had been battling against. The two long strips from your back wrapped over your shoulders to your chest where they both curved over each of your full breasts and connected in the valley between. Then two separate ones rested over your shredded stomach where Nobara wished to dig her nails.

You were a specimen that Nobara had never expected to fall for, but here she was. Wanting and needing your attention until eventually, you would have to allow her to breathe. “Take that off for me, pup.” Your single command was soft, yet, Nobara knew that you had been waiting for this. Far longer than she’d like to acknowledge, so she recognized how desperate you likely were for this.

Doing her best in the position she was in, she pulled the sweater free and tossed it to the side. Immediately being greeted by your warm lips wrapping around her left nipple. A shaky moan fell from Nobara’s lips as her hands threaded through your hair, nails digging deep and dangerously dancing on the line of ripping your locks out. “Oh, God.”

“There’s no such thing as “God”, baby,” you mumbled, lips ghosting over her chest eagerly. “Only me.”

Ripping a hole in the apex of her pants, you were greeted by Nobara’s soaked core. A guttural growl fell from your lips as grabbed the girl by the hips and forced her further up the bed. God, her scent was invading every nook and cranny of the room, suffocating your mind with the intoxicating smell.

So much so that your body began to morph with your eyes zeroed in on the glistening core mere inches from your face. Nobara watched with some sort of tinge of fear and desire as she saw two new arms appear, grabbing a hold of the sheets and clenching them incredibly tight. The sight of drool slipping from the corner of your mouth all the more thrilling. She never knew she had this type of effect on you.

“Y/n, what are you waiting- FUCK YES!”

Your mouth enveloped Nobara’s core entirely. Tongue lengthening and delving deep inside the girl as you sucked harshly. All the stimulations send a wave of pleasure to Nobara, who could do nothing less than scream in pleasure. And with the additional arms, she felt two grab her by her wrists and pulled her impossibly closer to your hungry lips. But her eyes widened when your two free hands grab her sides and slowly begin to lift her off the bed. “Y- Y/n, wait!”

Her words fell silent as she was lifted into the air, core pressed against your lips where you fucked her ruthlessly. Nobara could feel her mind slowly becoming empty with each thrust of your tongue that seemed to have become larger than before. This position, her held in the air with you on your feet, eating her out senselessly, was something Nobara had never expected. And some part of her wished she had fallen for your advances way before.

But when she met your gaze, she found nothing in your eyes besides the desire that seemed to be untamable. She had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to get satisfied after one round of this, and that was probably the only thing Nobara was scared of at this point. “God, Y/n! Your tongue is so nice inside of me!”

That earned a deep growl, sending shivers throughout Nobara’s body as her legs began to tremble. Mouth falling ajar as your tongue swirled and twisted inside her quivering canal. A drunken smile formed on Nobara’s lips as she cried and moaned out in pure ecstasy. “Fuck, yes! Just like that, baby. Don’t stop.”

Her juice, her insides, her smooth skin, it was all too much for you. You felt her sweet taste on your tongue and likely to be there until the day you died. You were becoming lost in her, far too gone to ever recover. But that posed the question; if you were able to taste her for hours on end, would you care to lose yourself?

One hand holding her side was removed as your tongue left her core. A deep whine fell from Nobara’s lips as she looked up to protest. But her words were cut short when she felt your lips clamp around her clit. Tongue prodding and flicking across it relentlessly. If that wasn’t enough, Nobara felt her head roll back when she felt three of your fingers thrust into her entrance. It was enough to finally send Nobara over the edge.

Her eyes were glazed over with an erotic blur as her back arched in the air. Legs tensing up as she choked on a scream until she finally caught her breath and they wrapped around your back lazily. Chest rising and falling with drool spilling from the corner of her lips. The sight had earned a deep amused chuckle from you, removing your mouth from the girl’s clit. “I can’t wait to see what other faces you’re gonna make tonight.”

As Nobara expected, one round wouldn’t satisfy you.

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