#susan watches too much reality tv

[niccage]

The way this gif just mesmerizes me. Kristen walking straight into the table. The cunty flick of her bob. Scheana just grabbing her leg like she’s helping. The slow slide of the cushioned bench. Lala not even making eye contact as she death-grips her arm. Cinema

#susan watches too much reality tv #vanderpump rules

[omgwhatchloe]

STUPID MODERN AU HEADCANONS ALERT

-they all have one hideout they stay at after too many of their apartments kept getting raided. its…its chaotic sometimes.

-bill snores so fucking loud and sleeps on the sofas. he DOES have a bed, he just ‘rests’ his eyes during whatever he’s watching, spreads out and snores like hell. its the most infuriating thing, and arthur does not hold back when beating him with a pillow.

-however if it was lenny or one of the girls who’d fallen asleep on the sofa, lets just say hes sneaking back into the house after late night adventures, and he finds them, arthur would absolutely cover them with a blanket or even carry them to bed depending on how tired he was.

-the men of the gang have differing opinions on drugs, strippers, etc. some will absolutely spend their money on that, others will never even consider it. you gotta remember, this is a gang and theyre criminals.

-movie nights are very random as theyre all constantly in and out, doing this and that, but it is nice when a group of them can settle down and watch something. but you know theyre getting interrupted constantly, because lenny thinks that doesnt make sense and johns hungry and sean thinks theyre hot and tilly cant decide if she wants some of the blanket or not and micah’s just walked in and decided the whole ordeal is very gay etc etc

-STREET RACING. sean, lenny, arthur, john, javier, karen, sadie, even abigail all love it, and it miiiight just be one of hosea’s guilty pleasures.

-leopold strauss does not like dutch’s music. imagine, theyre coming back from a job and he rides with dutch and hosea, who plays ‘old classics’ because dutch thinks thats what theyre into. cut to strauss staring longingly out of the window, watching arthurs car with the roof down and pitbull up. he is a very unhappy old man in that moment. he does NOT WANT to listen to big iron, HE WANTS TIMBER!!

-booktok is lenny’s biggest opp. he likes the classics and to wander around bookshops (sean trailing behind him and picking up random books on weeds and fitness to offer him because he doesnt actually know what theyre about) looking for his own books to read and get his own opinion on.

-sean can read, but does struggle with dyslexia and still dislikes books for this reason. he doesnt mind being read too, but feels overwhelmed and gets upset with himself when actually attempting to read.

-mary-beth loves to watch tv in her room only to fall asleep with it on, causing susan to poke her head around the door and yell at her to turn it off at like 3am. but trust me, the girls seen everything. every dating show, reality show, drama, documentary, she has seen it! she also has teddys/stuffed animals!!

-john never grew out of enjoying sleepovers, but thankfully neither did javier. they’d always get drunk and high together, do dumb shit, snuggle only to deny they did in the morning, and get yelled at to shut up. of course, john’d eventually get to have a sleepover every night with abigail, but he feels like its just not the same…

-charles WILL go to sleep in your car and you cant stop him. arthur finds it cute tho.

-the cupboards do not have snacks because everyone is too possessive over what they want and just keep it in their rooms.

-a lot of the time only a few people are having stew, since the rest are off getting fast food or just not eating.

-sean misses ireland so much, homesickness is a big problem for him (to the point he may actually be sick from upsetting himself so much) and he wishes him and his da never had to leave donegal. though obviously he struggles with booking flights and decides to just not do it instead of asking for help. for a perfect birthday present, lenny booked a trip for them!!

-seans da is not dead!! though he lives quite far from where the gang are staying (different state, not back in ireland) and sean misses him more than he likes to admit. the little irishboy loves to sit in his da’s house with a cup of tea, stealing all the biscuits and yapping on. he used to like to bring lenny too, when they were closer (in distance, not relationship)and his da decided he liked lenny more than sean, joking ofc.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption two #arthur morgan #sean macguire #red dead fandom #sean rdr2 #lenny summers #macsummers #au #rdr2 modern au #modern au #john marston #dutch van der linde #micah bell #tilly jackson #mary beth gaskill #susan grimshaw #leopold strauss #abigail marston

[doctor-who-binge]

2am rant incoming

I hate the Master single handily destroying Gallifrey more than anything else from Chibnall's Era.

Gallifrey

It ruins the amazing revelation in the 50th anniversary that Gallifrey was saved not destroyed by The Moment.

It ruins The Doctors return to his home even if he was pissed AF and popped Rassilon off plus ran away for a second time. Still the episode introduced a new version on The General, we get to re-meet the woman from Karn, we get a look at Gallifrey again, properly, in the Nu series.

It explained that Gallifrey was moved to the edge of time for protection just to be destroyed a seasons (or two) later

If the master single handily destroyed it now, it doesn't make sense that the master had to use a chamaeleon circuit to hide as a human (Yana) in order to escape the time war..... he could have just destroyed Gallifrey

ALLLLLLLL the potential a returned Gallifrey held for plot vanished on its second appearance in Nu who.

ALLLLLLL the potential new Time Lords being added to the series also vanished (and I don't fucking mean past time lords via their secret intelligence organization thingy)

Cyber Time Lords

One word: why.

Why? Its Just. So. Fucking. Dumb.

I hate the over usage of Daleks and Cybemen as is.... now you gotta poison Gallifrey with them too?

Cybermen have parallel evolution among "people" which I originally assumed were humans or human like. Which didn't originally include Time Lords, they weren't compatible.

Also the primary reasons they evolved: Desperate survival, search for immortality, forced like Missy using 3W

Survival for Time Lords was moving their planet (reality) or being higher energy beings as Rassilon wanted. Not a lesser cyber species.

Immortality for Time Lords....... they're fucking Time Lords. TIME Lords. Lords of Time, Chronarchs. Immortality they've basically got, look how many times Rassilon comes back.

Forced. How was The Master able to compel the stupidly pompous proud Time Lord race aristocracy into becoming emotionless machines.

Timeless Child

Positive: it confirms my personal view that Time Lords are Gallifreyan Aristocracy not synonymous with Gallifreyans. But there are like a billion other confirmations of that.

The Timeless Child species should be far more advanced than Time Lords but they are never explained.

It makes no sense that they allow the Timeless Child to live after they were done with them

And even if they did there would then be no need to give the Timeless Child another "round" of regeneration to 11? Unless they put a 12 regeneration block on the Timeless Child. But that brings back the question of why let them live in the first place.

Why does Ruth a pre-1st Doctor have a blue police box? Its established that this fluke happens in literally the first story of Doctor Who when Susan is confused that it didn't change when they landed in a new place. (Unless she is post-Hartnell which I hope; possibly a forced regeneration that was erased; granted in order for that to fit with 11's idea of being the last one Tennants second regeneration has to "not count")

From a TV viewership perspective The Timeless Child doesn't change The Doctor in our story viewing minds. Confirmed by the fact that she just drops the watch of all the info somewhere in the TARDIS and its never mentioned again. But it absolutely sucks for people who are fans of the world building more than just The Doctor's adventures.

The fact that so much emphasis was put on this in-story but is basically over and done with post flux is also kinda of annoying (tho I hope it stays that way. Let it die)

Most people's gripe: It makes The Doctor inherently special. Maybe thats why he ran away, not because he was a rebel who wanted to travel and see the stars and see "why good always seems to prevail in the universe" (which tbf if the show proves anything its that good doesn't but I digress) or perhaps he was instinctively afraid of being abused and used by Time Lord society—without remembering why he has the fear or urge to flee.

If The Doctor was loomed into the House of Lungbarrow as a Time Lord, was originally a peasant Gallifreyan sent to the Time Lord academy, or was half human half Time Lord— doesn't actually fucking matter. None of those origin stories actually fuck up the idea of The Doctor just being a person defined by their deeds not their very super special species-changing universe-changing origin.

I have my own ideas about world building that I suppose go against the canon. For example, 10 claims his people invented black holes. I personally like to interpret many of the fantastical things about Time Lords inventing shit and changing the universe, even establishing rationality, is simply their aristocratic mythos. Kinda like the mythos of many aristocracies & royalty saying they come from Gods or did impossible things in legendary era's of their history. Obviously thats one view..... but I'm not the goddam show runner so my opinion doesn't matter at all. Unlike Chibnall's whose view does matter.

Side note ""Hartnell"" had a strong line in Twice Upon a Time "I have the right to live and die as myself" marking that as his first life and explaining why the 1st doctor was obnoxiously childlike.

The Flux

I enjoyed a lot of it as a story

The introduction of the Mouri gave me a little pat on the back about my idea of Time Lords making legendary shit up about themselves

Hated the Timeless Child bits obviously

WE LITERALLY SAW PLANETS IN OUR OWN SOLAR SYSTEM DESTROYED AND THE UNIVERSE WAS NEVER FUCKING RESET (unless I missed it but Dan's house is still gone that implies nothing was reset)

But like I said, I hate the destruction of Gallifrey so much more than any of my other complaints. And it was unfortunately confirmed to be the case in the Power of The Doctor when The Master claims he stole technology after he ransacked it.

IF the Timless Child had been introduced WITHOUT the destruction of Gallifrey and Cyber Time Lords than I probably would have been significantly more open to the concept. But all three of these things happening at once threw me for a pissed off loop. Not to mention the Timeless Child was almost entirely exposition. More telling not enough showing.

My ways to fix it

The explanation of "The Other" (aside from 11)

It being The Master

An old myth buried in the matrix that The Master found

The Master lying and inserting it into the matrix

Everyone forgets it happens and its never mentioned again; unsatisfying tho

..... I can't think of anything to fix Gallifrey being destroyed since The Master's confirmation in The Power of The Doctor

Frankly with a retcon this massive, she should have opened the fob watch, learned all about it, and let it be the end of the TV Doctor Who. Millions of people would be pissed and heartbroken but it sounds like something that happens in a show finale.

I get that a lot of people accept shit they like and throw out shit they don't like. I do. Tho I try to see where it can fit in the story in a way I like rather or at least seems reasonable rather than 100% discarding. But this is so significantly huge it feels impossible to actually ignore going forward world building wise. No amount of me refusing this canon will magically make Gallifrey and new Time Lords available writing material for any future show runners.

Literally any gripes I had with Moffat (which many where changed on rewatch which is why I've considered rewatching timeless child BS) absolutely pale in comparison to these. Except seeing the angels moving, I vehemently reject that... it was imaginary we all never saw it happen. ... Which is very easy to do, getting rid of the timeless child is not so easy. Go through Tardis Fan wiki and the timeless child has unfortunately seeped into many articles because of how game changing it was and how far back in history it was.

Again if Gallifrey hadn't been obliterated so soon after coming back I'd be way more open to the idea— I could rewatch those episodes again and see if my mind changes. But Cyber time lords and the destruction of Gallifrey sending me into a hatred swimming pool in an otherwise amazing episode probably indicates my mind would not be changed on those two parts.

#doctor who #nu who #nuwho #timeless child #13th doctor #2am rambling

[penelopespoety]

♡ The New Boy ♡ PT .1

Timmy Tim

Back Ground Information……

~Your 16 in high school

~Your popular

~Your ex is a jock (he wants you back)

~you have 3 best friends ( Emma, Chloe, Susan)

~you stay in a nice house & you only live with your mom

~ your the only kid

~your middle class

~ worst enemy (Sasha)

~ munches (group chat name)

♡ The New Boy ♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll see you guys this weekend right?”

You questioned as you walked out of school

“YES!!” Your friends screamed while walking away in a different direction

“OK” you screamed back and continued to walk home

You were checking your Instagram feed not paying any attention to your surroundings

When someone suddenly stepped in front of you

“Y/N you look so good in that outfit” You heard a familiar voice say with a deep voice

( what your wearing)

“why haven’t you been replying to my calls or my messages”

You snapped back into reality already knowing who it was

Your toxic, abusive & manipulative ex

You rolled your eye’s already know where this conversation is going

He’s not over you but your wayyy over him

“Spenser I’m not having this conversation we have been broken up for like three months move on”

you said with a tired expression on your face

“But I love you and I just can’t get over you” he said

“well I’m not the one who cheated” you mumbled under your breath while looking down

He just stared at you not moving an inch

Which scared you knowing how abusive he was

“We can discuss this at your house later ” he said

Then you remembered your mom invited him over for her going away party because

She’s leaving for a business trip after tomorrow

You mentally slap your head regretting not telling your mom that he cheated on you

“Mmhm” you said with a forced smile walking away from the situation

You finally made it home and see a U-haul truck parked in what used to be the empty house right next door

You see that your mom has already walked over to meet the new neighbors

It looked like she look was talking to a middle age woman around her age

So you just walked in the house and turned on the tv to your favorite show (outer banks)

20 minutes later

You heard the door open and close and you knew it was your mom

“Your not going to speak to the neighbors, or even welcome them to the neighborhood” your mom said

“I had to watch the new season of otter banks I’ll go introduce myself after this episode goes off” you said

“No your going to introduce yourself to them now. Her name is Nicole flender

Call her ms.Flinders though” your mom said

“Ugh I have to go now??” You said

“Yes plus you and timothee are the same age become his friend he has none here” she said

“Who is timothee?” You said

“Ms. Flinders son he is beautiful. His face is just Gorgeous to bad your dating spencer” she laughed and jokingly said

But you didn’t find that funny at all because y’all been broke up after you found out he cheated on you with your worst enemy(Sasha) at YOUR house party in YOUR room in YOUR bed

“ Go introduce yourself NOW y/n”

“OKAY IM GOING” you said

‘This boy better be Gorgeous the way she got me walking next door to introduce myself to him’ you thought

You took a deep breath before knocking 3 times

Nobody answered…

Just when you we’re about to knock again the woman you seen your mom talking to answered opened the door

“Hello you must be cassies daughter” she said with a welcoming smile

“Yup that’s me” u said laughing awkwardly 

“Well I’m ms.flinder it’s so nice to meet u and I just have to say you are such a beautiful girl” she said smile treating you as if you were her daughter

“Thank you so much” you said almost blushing you love compliments

“I should introduce you too my son Timothee while your here” she said

And you just nodded

“TIMOTHEE COME DOWN HERE I WANT YOU TO MEET CASSIES DAUGHTER” She screamed

And it kind of shocked you seeing that she really wanted us to meet so you finally spoke up and said

“I’ll just come back tomorrow he seems busy”

“He’s not busy he just can’t hear me…………… why don’t you just go up there and introduce yourself” she said

Your eyes widen at her “command”

“Oh no it’s okay I’ll meet later” you said smiling

“No I insist you go up there”

“ Okay” you said with a scared feeling

“Don’t worry he doesn’t bite” she said jokingly with a smile

“I’m going to run to the store but it’s upstairs the 1st room on the left is his just walk in he’s not doing anything” she said getting into her car

“ Okay” you said

Walking in slowly closing the door behind you

You start walking up the stairs and got the whiff of vanilla which was your favorite sent and you loved it. As you got closer and closer the the door you just hoped he was as gorgeous as your mom said.

You slowly opened the door and see a bed, a few pictures of a band named gorillaz on his wall, boxes, a nice dresser and desk for gaming. You were in the middle of his room but didn’t see him nowhere

Suddenly you hear the shower turn off and you face palmed yourself not knowing if you should run or hide

“Who are you?” a deep attractive voice said from behind you

You turned around slowly and seen that only his lower half was wrapped up in a towel but u couldn’t take your eyes off of the scene in-front of you u took a step back

and you slowly looked up seen his toned abs with your mouth wide open and up to his face which you couldn’t see because his dripping wet hair was in-front of it

“I-II IM sorry didn’t know you were in the s-shower” you said with stuttering

It’s okay” he said slightly laughing at you

“You can you can wait downstairs for me unless you want to see me naked”he said with a wink

And you stood there speechless not knowing if you should say I’ll wait downstairs or I want to see you naked he broke your thoughts when he finally said

“I was joking you can wait downstairs for me” he said kind of smiling but u couldn’t really tell because his long hair

“Ok” you said and walked out of his room and let out a huge sigh and rushed downstairs

You walked down into the living room and started blushing still replaying the Scene of his abs and you smiled so hard

“Why are you smiling so hard” timothee said

You were to caught up in your thoughts you didn’t even realize he was at the bottom of the stairs looking at you

You turned around and seen

#books #teen romance #the new boy #author #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet x you #x yn #Timmy Tim #love triangle #stories #today #trending #french #i love him #good neighbors #otterbankes #penelopespoety #outfit #clothes #cliffhanger #teen

[culttvblog]

The Long Chase

Taking a little break from The Prisoner to rush into print about this show which I have only just found out about in case there is anyone who hasn't sussed that it is currently available in its entirety on YouTube (on the magnificently named Major Dolby's Cat channel); in fairly poor quality but nonetheless as far as I can tell that is the only place you will be able to see this much-loved children's show. And while you're watching it, use one of those YouTube downloaders to save your own copy, because the more copies there are the more these things can be made available. According to t'internet because it was made on film the BBC still have it but have shown no interest in releasing it or repeating it since its onlly repeat in 1974.

Perhaps I should stress that I am talking about the 1972 children's TV series and not the 1971 film of the same name. I swear this drives me crazy.

The premise is fairly simple: John Corby is fishing with his dad, a police officer who got thrown out of the Met after getting too close to an international assassination organisation, when John spots a girl in distress in the water off the cliff and goes to help her. When he comes back he finds that his father has vanished. The rest of the series is their chase to find the father, with the elaboration of the reasons he got kicked out of the Met and what happened. The chase goes right the way up the country into Scotland and includes loads of nail-biting action as they get embroiled ever deeper into the world of espionage.

I should say that this is such a 1970s set-up for this show, when every police officer they speak to assumes the father is a bent copper (even by the standards of the notoriously bent Metropolitan police) but John of course knows that he wasn't. The whole scandal of corrupt police in the 1970s (and still) and don't forget that 1972 was before TV drama turned to show police realistically as utterly criminal in shows like The Sweeney. This is about trust and truth, and not giving up in the face of intimidation.

Well, you would know it would be a nuanced and perceptive drama when you know The Long Chase was written by the prolific NJ Crisp, who also wrote episodes of Dixon of Dock Green, Dr Finlay's Casebook, Doomwatch, Enemy at the Door, and the whole of The Brothers, Colditz, and Secret Army. Basically I can almost guarantee you've seen something else he's written.

One of the reasons I'm posting about it is that I'm very pleased because normally when I write about a show I have a poke around online and find that I disagree with the reviews I read. In this case I found that there is vanishingly little about it online, but there are a number of older reviews (from before 2010, say) by contemporary viewers who were all very struck by it at the time and wanted to see it again. I was sufficiently moved by the sheer strength of feeling in those reviews to write this blog post! I haven't even seen it all the way through myself but love it already. The criticism I've also seen that those middle aged men wanted to see it again for the reason that they wanted to see Jan Francis (who played Susan Fraser, the girl) again. I know this isn't true because they could equally well see her in any of the other 75 films and shows IMDB says she has been in!

In fact that is my only criticism, which I'm not sure is justified, because in the show Simon Fisher-Turner was 17, the age of John his character, but Jan Francis was more like 24 and it shows. The problem is that even though it's only seven years, in reality there is a huge age difference between 17 and 24 but they act like they are the same age. They're both acting like they're 17, and it doesn't seem quite right. I wouldn't want you to run away with the idea that this is a fatal criticism, though.

Pictured: women's charity Refuge dumping 1,071 bad apples (that we know of) outside New Scotland Yard. Legends.

This blog is mirrored at

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Archives from 2013 to September 2023 may be found at culttvblog.blogspot.com and there is an index to the tags used on the Tumblr version at https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/729194158177370112/this-blog

#the long chase #70s tv

[cloudsnbones]

Here is a selection for your lovely self to choose from <3

50, 63 or 110 please 🥺 For Kerry...Susan...the wives - you know ofc.

My Hidden Angel

prompt 110: just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight

warnings: mild alcohol consumption, touches on topic of 'outing', some references to suicidal ideation

other tags: kerry x sandy (before), kerry x susan (implied), kerry & susan, hurt/comfort, hugs

Kerry’s eyes traced the mulberry patterns intertwine then separate then briefly meet together again followed by a small gap before they finally made themselves whole, ending in solid semi-circles at the opposite end of the duvet, striking loud against the cream which predominated the piece.

She was supposed to be happy, finally released loud and proud into society, herself - different, yet still beautiful. So what was wrong with her? Because she didn’t feel like that. She didn’t feel like that at all. The burning in her throat came in waves of strength whilst her heart felt like a large block of ice that had plummeted into her stomach. As for the rest of her body, it all just felt numb. Numb and useless. For the first time in a long time, she felt small, really small. Peering eyes had followed her throughout the ER as she tried to pretend that everything was ok, that she had wanted that to happen. That… what they thought didn’t matter to her. She was their boss after all. It shouldn’t.

But if she couldn’t even convince herself, how on earth could she convince anyone else?

After leaving work she had stormed over to the Fire Station where Sandy worked to give her a piece of her mind, chew her, and spit her out as Sandy had done to her. Returning the favour. But she had been left feeling even worse.

Even more hated and alone than she had before which was something considering… everything.

And she knew that if she passed away in her sleep, no one would care. No one would come to her funeral, no one would mourn. And as devastating as that is, she felt at peace. For once in her damn life, she wanted to be quiet. To hide. To return back into her bulletproof shell and never leave.

There was a light tap on the door.

Kerry ignored it. It could wait. Probably a door-to-door salesperson. Not worth her time.

A slightly louder knock followed, and then a loud buzz.

This now seemed more like a person, perhaps… Sandy?

Kerry’s heart fluttered in hope. And it was this alone which eventually forced her to get one and then two legs out of bed, wrapping her body tightly in her silk dressing gown before slowly making her way to the door, leaning on nearby furniture to do so.

When Kerry got to the door she took in a small breath, closing her eyes to rack up the courage to be able to speak coherently in front of her again. She didn’t want to relax her guard, or to let her anger completely ease off but what she really didn't want - was to be alone. And it was this sole urge for companionship that drove her resolve to forgive Sandy. She had found herself in the past year and despite her still wavering confidence in her sexuality she couldn't deny that she had never felt more complete, more understood, lighter, and happier since she had discovered she was a…

Lesbian.

In one quick movement, she turned her key in the lock and pushed down the door handle pulling it towards her, she opened her eyes expecting to see Sandy on the other side apologetic and soft but instead she saw someone whom she did not expect. Dr. Lewis.

“I-” Kerry started, her face dumbfounded.

Susan just smiled, 75% convincingly, holding up a bag to her face filled with a lovely aroma of spices.

Kerry looked at her suspiciously.

“I’ve brought you dinner,” Susan said, after a beat, trying to ignore the deep feelings of anger and frustration which she had always associated with Kerry.

“Oh thank you,” Kerry replied eventually, peering at the bag from where she was standing, frozen to the spot, “Why don’t you come in?” She added awkwardly her voice catching on the words and she squinted her nose and eyes slightly in embarrassment of herself, letting out a small sigh.

Susan just continued to smile and stepped into the door as Kerry shuffled out of the way before she closed the door.

“Please come on through.” Kerry said, “oh, and shoes off before you come in please.”

Susan had expected that to be the case, she smiled playfully to herself as she slid her shoes off.

Kerry stood, watching her uncomfortably, wondering what she would do and also questioning as to why this had happened in the first place. She bit her lip and curled her right ankle around to scratch at the back of her calf, which wasn’t the best idea as within seconds she began to lose her balance. Before she really had the opportunity to fall or to steady herself, Susan caught her outstretched arms ensuring she stayed strictly upright.

Kerry was shocked. Not only by the sudden contact but also of the position she was in with regards to Susan. She was staring directly at Susan’s chest. Well, where her chest was below her periwinkle jumper. Her eyes widened and she raised her head to look at Susan before shaking herself back into reality and straightening up allowing Susan to let go of her arms. Despite this, the place where she had touched her, burned.

When Kerry looked back at Susan she noticed her empty hands. But where was the food? Oh, Susan had just placed the bag on the floor. She needed to get a grip.

Kerry made to brush off her slacks only to find silky material there instead and that is when she realised that she was in fact not wearing her day clothes at all but her night-time things, and her cheeks began to glow red.

But Susan didn’t care, she just picked up her takeout bag and gestured towards the entrance to the living room, “This way?”

Kerry swallowed and then nodded, a bit too fiercely. Susan smiled and Kerry followed her into the living room.

“Do you have any films?” Susan asked as she sat herself down on the sofa.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… films.”

“Yeah, I mean, uh… kinda, maybe not the type you’re thinking of though...” Kerry’s voice tailed off.

“That’s alright, we can just watch whatever’s on.”

Kerry stood, passively watching Susan turn on the tv and set out the food she had brought with her onto the table before her. After a moment it registered that this may appear strange so in a hurried shuffle made her way to sit down next to Susan. She placed her hands politely on her knees and looked pointedly at the carpet in front of her. Susan glanced over.

“Are you alright?” She wondered aloud, a touch of a laugh in her voice.

Kerry furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth twitching in tandem, “Yeah, I-” she let herself process what she wanted to express before she turned abruptly round to Susan and queried, “Why are you here?”

The harshness of her voice and the absence of friendliness in Kerry’s general demeanour led Susan to feel as if she was being interrogated, as if she wasn’t welcome in Kerry’s home, and by breaching this unspoken contract of keeping distance between employer and employee she had perhaps angered the beast without intending to. It would not be the first time. But as she took her time to consider Kerry’s apparel, the soft plea in her eyes, and her stiff, clunky posture, the way she glanced at her leg every so often as if she was worried something would happen to it. But what could it possibly undergo? Except… judgement. Kerry’s defensiveness, her ferocity, so present in Susan’s life as a constant adherence and annoyance was down to experiences like she had had today. Susan could see that now. She knew that in the past she had only helped contribute but today maybe she could change that, but first, she needed Kerry to trust her.

Susan relaxed her shoulders and placed the empty take-out bag onto the floor underneath the sofa before she began.

“To cut a long story short; I’m bi.” She looked up to catch her eyes with Kerry’s as if to prove she was telling the truth before she continued, “And, when I was in high school, there was this most beautiful girl, she had dark hair and the pinkest lips and her voice always sounded like she was singing.” Susan closed her eyes, reminiscing.

“We were best friends, her and I, and we did everything together. I was intoxicated, but there was nothing I could have really done about it. I had a massive crush on her. I don’t know how they knew, perhaps I hadn’t hidden it as well as I’d thought but some of the boys in my year started teasing me about it, asking if I was a ‘lesbigay or whatever, and when I obviously didn’t respond and got embarrassed they um, they decided to announce it to the whole school.”

Kerry’s mouth opened, stunned into silence. This wasn’t what she had expected at all! Setting aside the fact that Susan was also gay, Kerry listened to her story with deep compassion, and horror. She tried to express her sympathies but only managed to stare at Susan wide-eyed and she hoped that the empathy she felt in her heart managed to express itself well enough on her face.

After looking at Kerry's face, Susan continued, “Yeah, it was pretty terrible, I lost a lot of friends that year. But um...” She paused for a second, considering her next words. “The thing that happened to you today reminded me of that and I couldn’t rest easy staying at home and thinking about it so I came over and did what I wish someone, a friend, or a parent even, had done when I was in that state. Because it is tough, and it is lonely. And no matter the shit that’s happened between us in the past, no one deserves that, no one. So as allies, I guess, let’s just pretend everything’s okay, just for tonight.” Susan smiled at Kerry then, and the redhead began to understand how much she had needed a friend, someone who would accept her, and understand why she had to hide. Someone to let her know she wasn’t alone.

“But anyway!” Susan clapped her hands together with a new-found cheerfulness instilled in her, disrupting the melancholy mood immediately. “Let’s eat!”

Throughout the evening they talked very little, making mild comments on the hallmark movies or about the food, and Kerry eventually found the strength to thank Susan for her kindness. Once the meal was over, Kerry produced a bottle of Pinot Grigio for the two to share and despite Susan’s inner voice telling her to ‘go home’ she accepted the offer. The alcohol loosened Kerry’s tongue and she was no longer sat like a meerkat on the lookout but instead as if she was spending an evening with a friend. Susan let Kerry cry and rested her head on her, oh the softness of the cashmere against Kerry’s cheek as she buried herself deep in Susan’s softness.

They stayed in that position for a while, even once Kerry’s crying had ceased, Susan would rub her hand up and down her bank comforting her and reminding her that someone was there. Someone who cared about her, who understood her.

The intimacy and the alcohol and the events of the day meant that once Kerry ultimately did lift her head up and came face to face with Susan, so close she could almost feel the light hairs on her face, she was overcome with this urge to kiss her. Not a rough kiss, nor a gentle kiss, more a kiss goodbye or hello, a kiss saying thank you. Her hand tenderly stroking Susan's jawline, suggesting the act was about more than just lust or circumstance.

At first, Susan lent into it, Kerry’s taste being much calmer than she had expected, but once she realised what was happening she pulled herself out of it, gently, so as not to potentially hurt Kerry.

Susan smiled a sweet smile, slightly flushed as if she was sixteen once more and encountering her crush in the cafeteria. “You’re a really good kisser,” she observed trying to relieve some of the deep mortification evident on Kerry’s face, “But not tonight.”

She helped Kerry to her bed before setting herself down on the couch and continued to grin, touching her fingertips lightly to her lips where Kerry had kissed her.

Not tonight, but next time...?

#susan lewis x kerry weaver #kerry weaver #er #nbc er #susan lewis #kerry x susan #kerry weaver x susan lewis #susan x kerry #kerry weaver x sandy lopez #kerry x sandy #hurt/comfort #wine #movies #every good thing #my writing

[nautiscarader]

Nautiscarader’s Wendip Week day 3: Prank War

geez, this one took a while. I apologise, and let’s hope next one will arrive faster

 (ao3)

============

Someone standing outside of The Mystery Shack might have thought that the living room contained a very predictable lighting bug, or at least that someone inside was broadcasting a rather boring Morse code message using light signals.

In reality, it was just Wendy and Dipper, slouched on the sofa, surfing TV channels, giving each of them at most three seconds to entertain their bored minds. So far, none of them stood up to the challenge.

But as Wendy continued the only physical activity she had the energy for, i.e. pressing one button, something finally caught their attention.

- "What's up everyone? It's your boy, the Prankster Prancer!"

A loud, obnoxious, blonde man in his twenties, wearing spiky, gelled hair rode into the shot on a fake unicorn, face-hugged the camera, filling the wide-angle lens and made both Dipper and Wendy jump in their seats as loud horn noise shook the air around them.

- Wait, I thought this guy was only on the internet! - Wendy raised her brow - Did he escape to the real world?! - Come on, who in the right mind would give him a show? - "So, first of all, thanks to our station, The Cheese Network, for giving me the chance to entertain you guys..."

Dipper and Wendy groaned in collective understanding.

- "...and for giving us some cheese to pay for our last week's prank!"

The screen dimmed and the camera changed to an aerial shot, containing not only fires and flood, but also several military helicopters.

- "So last time we did some EPIC prank during the gender reveal party and we've made a hole in the ozone hole!"

The man made extra effort to extend every vowel in the last word, to an equally obnoxious collection of sound effects.

- Wow. That looks... bad. Even by our standards. - Wendy watched the footage. - Yeah. Good thing this dude stays away from us. - "And now it's time to reveal the next place for our EPIC PRANK!"

The man took a baseball bat and unceremoniously smashed the unicorn doll in half, and stuck his hand in the fake guts, revealing an envelope.

- "And this one is a suggestion from my top commentator on-line, that girl leaves comments under every single one of my videos, so I could not ignore her request".

The envelope was opened, and suddenly, a girl's voice began reading it.

- "Dear Prankster Prancer. I love your videos, and how creative your calamity can be..." - Wait a minute - Dipper sat up, as his eyes widened in horror - Is that- - "My name is Mabel Pines, and I am staying in a small town called Gravity Falls, in Oregon...".

Dipper and Wendy looked at each other and understood each other at once.

- Barricade the doors!

But it was too late. As Dipper ran towards the lobby, the door were smashed to the ground, seemingly under the power of the air horns, and flooded the Shack with lights. The same blonde man walked inside, as if he owned the place, leading with him Mabel Pines.

- What's up birches? Is that how you call people living in the middle of a forest? - he shoved his face to the camera again. - More like, in the middle of nowhere! - Mabel added, high-five'ing him - Thankfully, me and my Prankster Protégé are gonna rock this place! - he shouted.

Dipper Pines stood up and cleaned himself from the dust and debris, watching as the two rock their heads to some aggressive tune.

- Hold on a minute! Mabel, why did you invite him here? If anything, there's too much going around in here! - Ugh, this is my little brother, Dipper. - Mabel rolled her eyes - I'm-I'm not little! - Dipper stomped in place - We're twins!

Somewhere behind him, Wendy snickered.

- What, you just look adorable when you're angry.

Dipper turned back and stormed towards his sister.

- Mabel, do you have amnesia or something? Gravity Falls is full of amazing things! We've been on treasure hunts, found all sorts of monsters in every lake, glade and a cave... You wanted to date a zombie on out first day here! - Yeah, sure, kid, as if I could just walk into a forest and find a dead body... - the Prankster took a sip of soda, looking somewhat nervously. - Mabel, we've seen living dinosaurs here! - Yeah, like I can see one now!

The Prankster pointed to the kitchen and very confused Grunkle Stan in his pajamas.

- What in the DMV is going on here? - Check this out, a living fossil!

The Prankster jumped towards Grunkle Stan and unceremoniously took a selfie with him.

- Oh no, my eyes! The light is coming towards me instead of the other way around!

Stan cried when flash of light blinded him, and with a sleigh of hand, the blonde man undid his belt, causing Stan to nearly trip and fall, if it wasn't for Wendy.

- Hey, you! You're not a prankster, you're a jerk!

At the sound of those words, the man stopped laughing and turned his attention, as well as cameras, towards Wendy.

- What's that? We've got ourselves a HATER!

An air horn was about to blow her hat off, but Wendy swiftly grabbed it and twisted it.

- Yeah, that's what I've said, you're a jerk. I like pranking people, but not to hurt them. - And watchu gonna do, leave a mean comment? - No, we're gonna prank you. - Wendy reached and brought Dipper towards her. - Cos we've done some pranking together ourselves! - Like what? - Like... when we've made our friend think his inflatable tube could talk!

The Prankster shot them with a dead stare.

- You know what, I don't even have time to play the "wah-wah" soundbite. But if you want to lose, your call. Tomorrow, we're gonna get an EPIC PRANK-OFF!

And he shot a pose in front of the camera.

- Right, now tell me where's someplace to eat. And they better have unlimited refills. - Lazy Susan is neat. And there's water tower nearby...

And with that, he and Mabel walked off, leaving the small destruction behind them.

- Wendy! - Dipper turned at once towards her - Are you crazy? He has entire film crew! And money! And very little empathy! He's gonna plough through us! - Chill out, man, we're gonna trick him, one way or another.

And she gently smacked the edge of his hat.

- Er, I know you guys like to babble all the time, but I still can't get up. - Grunkle Stan grumbled from the floor.

=============

The next day, Wendy woke up at the break of dawn with unbridled optimism. Dipper less so, and he was a bit nervous when Wendy gathered him and her crew in the small lumberjack shack in the woods to explain the plan of action.

- So, any questions? - she asked

At the same time, every teenager in the small room raised hands.

- So, how does exactly the can of whipped cream is supposed to work with the rake? - Tambry asked - And what do we have to do with the rat-shaped balloons? - Thompson asked shyly. - And can't we just... punch him? - Robbie suggested, mimicking the action. - Ugh, you guys!

Wendy groaned and hid her face in her hands. hearing the murmurs of doubt across the room, Dipper quickly stood up and continued.

- Guys, this jerk is giving us, pranksters, a bad name! We gotta prank him in a way that shows we are better... Because we can do better!

He watched as faces of the older teenagers brighten with his speech. Several of them even smiled.

- Plus he could, like, sue us for millions of dollars, so we gotta stay clean.

With newly gained optimism, the gang rushed to Thompson's van and readied themselves for the prank.

- Thanks, man, for giving me a hand. - Wendy suddenly patted Dipper's back. - Oh, no-no problem. - Dipper spoke, wondering if she noticed his blush.

=========

- Alright, we're all in places.

Wendy spoke to her phone, and observed the places, leaning from behind the wall. Her eyes moved from Robbie, hidden in the abandoned ice-cream stall, to Thompson, on top of a tree, to Tambry, pretending to read a large newspaper, and finally, to Dipper, holding a bag of provisions.

- We-Wendy, I'm not sure if this is gonna work. - Now!

She commanded, as Prankster walked nonchalantly out of the store. He thre away the half-eaten sandwich he just bought and was about to walk into the string that would have activate the whipped cream... if he didn't make a sudden jump.

He then threw something into the stall.

- Oh, crap, it's a grenade!

Robbie stormed out, tripping on the same wire he helped setting up, which resulted in his black hair covered in white goo and sprinkles.

Tambry was supposed attack next, but Prankester was already next to her. He took a bucket of soapy water and dumped it over her, destroying her diguise that covered her pruple hair.

For Thompson, he didn't even have to do much - he threw a mouse toy into the air, and listened how the boy tumbles down, shrieking.

And finally, he took something big and colourful out of his backpack and tossed it onto the street, watching as Dipper and Wendy rush towards it.

- Limited edition Giraffeoala!

They realised the two were after it when it was too late. Their heads collided with each other, just as the elusive plushie was yanked from their hands, back into his bag.

- Seriously, guys? You wanted to outsmart me? There like five of you and you couldn't do it. - Ha! That was a good one! - Mabel emerged from behind his back and did another high-five. - But I couldn't do it without you. - he pointed at her. - Me? But I didn't do anything... - Of course you did.

The Prankster lowered his sunglasses.

- Last evening at that stupid bar. You told me you were friends with everyone here. You told me how one of them likes gloomy, dark places. Like another one is afraid of mice. Like another one never looks away from her phone...

Mabel's ecstatic, radiant smile faded with each word the Prankster spoke, and her eyes, widened from excitation began to fill with tears.

- And, well, you told me what these two dorks are obsessed about... amongst other things. - Mabel! - Wendy and Dipper cried at the same time. - But-But I didn't... - Aw, really? You feel sad for them? LAME. - he pushed her aside and waved for his crew that followed him anyway.

For quite a while, all the small town could hear was Mabel Pines sobbing, until someone closed his arms around her.

- There, there, sis. - Dipper spoke quietly. - I guess you see why were so angry now. - I-I didn't know he would...

Dipper hugged her, letting her cry as much as she wants into his vest.

- It's not your fault, Mabel. - Wendy added, taking a knee and gently patting her. - But-But it is! - Well... Kinda... - Robbie added, and received a cold, piercing stare from Wendy. - Jerks like that like to... use people. And they know that the best ones are those, who are most trusting and kind.

Mabel's sniffing stopped, as Wendy continued.

- But you know what? - Dipper spoke suddenly - I think I got an idea...

He let go of his sister rushed to the Prankster, sitting on one of the toy unicorns, tossing quarter after quarter, while two children in queue began to tear up.

- Hey, you! - Ugh, you again, twerp. What, want me to reveal more secrets about you and your stupid hobbies? Or, like, who is your biggest crush after a toy plushie from the 90s?

Dipper's face reddened, but he remained unperturbed.

- We're not done yet. Tomorrow we're gonna prank you for good. Double or nothing! - Ugh, sure, fine. - the Prankster didn't even look at him - It's not like I can do anything until my lawyers clean up the whole "gender reveal party" fiasco. Like, who cares if the whole state is now inhabitable for life?

==============

By the next morning, the battleground was set. Cameras and tons of equipment surrounded the small grassy meadow in front of the Mystery Shack, where Dipper and Wendy were sitting in their chairs with their arms crossed, both wearing much more confident smiles. And the fact that Mabel was with them added them extra layer of morale.

When the clock struck 12, a mighty roar shook the place, as monster truck drove from behind the tree line, smoking and setting nearby branches on fire. The Prankster Prancer jumped out of it, and, drowned in the flashes of cameras, walked into his place.

- So, are you twerps ready for the FINAL PRANK OF YOUR LIFE? - he roared into the microphone, rolling his tongue back and forth as if he was about to eat it. - Nah, we're not gonna prank you. - Wendy shrugged - But someone else will.

The newly reinstalled door to the Mystery Shack opened, and a new figure appeared. An elderly woman walked out, being led by Grunkle Stan that gallantly helped her, for once not sneaking his hand into her purse.

And when she looked up from behind her glasses, the confident smile on Prancer's face disappeared at once.

- Grandma?! What-What are you doing here?! - Oh, don't you know? - Grunkle Stan rushed with explanation - We, old folks, all know each other. And I simply couldn't let her miss her grandson's grand day! - I'm so glad I can see you, Archibald!

The elderly lady used her cane to hook him by his neck and brought him into his arms, despite his best efforts to avoid any interactions.

- G-Grandma, don't- don't call me that! - Why not? - she continued, seemingly ignoring her grandson efforts to escape her tight hug. - I am your grandma, and I will call you by your full name, Archibald Roderick Sebastian Eugene!

Somewhere behind them, Dipper, Wendy and Mabel were having the time of their life, trying to hide their laughter.

- So, wait, his initials literally make him an... - Grandma! Make them stop! They-they are laughing at me! - Nonsense! Those young folks told me all your fans would love to see me talk about you. So I've send them some photos via the eclectic mail!

The blonde man looked to the side at Wendy and Dipper's faces. Their wide smiles told him everything, and in the act of ultimate desperation, he gently shook his head, silently mouthing his plea. He then looked at Mabel's, but hers was filled with spite.

In response, Mabel simply pressed a button.

The enormous screen behind them lit up, showing an adorable newborn blonde boy in diaper, giggling at the baby rattle.

Several more followed, showing his equally naked body in progressively embarrassing positions.

The screen changed, and the same boy was now three-years old, wearing a strict haircut as well as a bowtie. And the worst part was, he looked happy.

The Prankster Prancer fell to his knees, as tears began rolling from his eyes, which his grandma quickly dried with her handkerchief.

- Oh, yes, I do tear up a little at this one too. Oh, but the next one makes me so proud!

Prancer's eyes widen, if possibly even more, and throwing away all the pretence, he rushed to Wendy and Dipper and began begging them for mercy. But it was for nothing. He knew they have seen the photo already.

And with another press of a button, a seven-year old Prancer was shown, wearing a blue cardigan, sitting in an armchair with a big book in his hands, smiling at the camera, proudly showing his braces.

The scanned photo displayed a title, written in crayon over it.

"I love school!"

Flocks of birds flew into the air from the nearby trees in response to the shriek that reverberated the air, full of remorse, despair, and unmistakably, defeat.

- Nooooo!

The Prancer hit the ground with his fists, for which he was quickly reprimanded by his grandma ("You're going to make them dirty!"), while Wendy and Dipper high-fived each other, before giving Mabel a warm hug.

=============

- So I guess that will teach him? - Dipper asked Wendy as the two lay on the sofa, flicking through the channels again. - Pfh. I wish it did. - Wendy reached for her phone and showed Dipper a familiar blonde man waving his arms uncontrollably. - "What's up Prankster Pros? It's ya boy, and I've got this sweet book deal full of my MOST EMBARASSING photos! Look at that baby bottom! Only for $99.99..." - Geez, I guess they never learn. - Nope. But at least he's not here...

For a while the room dimmed every few seconds, as Wendy searched for anything interesting, but something else was on Dipper's mind.

- So... about those Cuddle Buddies...

The remote fell out of Wendy's hand.

- Uh, yeah, so, I just...

She shied away and mumbled her answer, until she saw a polite smile on Dipper's face.

- So, like, remember ever since you wanted to win that Duck Panda for me? I... kinda got into them, you know. Not like, obsessively collecting them, but... you know. - Yeah, I do. For cuddling.

The two looked at each other and exchanged the same, warm smiles.

- So which generation you like the most? - Well, gen 2 obviously - she rolled her eyes - What? Five is the best. - The best as sucking, perhaps. - Come on, they had changed the lead designer and everything, but they're still Cuddle Buddies...

For quite a while, the channel stayed on, as neither of them bother to change it. And when the night fell on, Wendy and Dipper realised that they might have discovered something new to talk about.

#nautiscaraderfics #wendipweek #wendip week #wendip #wendy corduroy #dipper pines #gravity falls #prank war

[dastardlydandelion]

I wish you would write a fic where Susan got to keep her baby for once.

well. hm. what would this look like in my hands. okay, okay, so in this particular scenario, i actually imagine neil was putting 2 + 2 together and finding out susan's preggo right after the move. like, even before susan does. and she's all kinds of alarmed but neil is?? oddly excited?

he's all like, "isn't this great? we get to have a new baby in this new town. what a perfect way to cement our brand new life, huh?"

and susan doesn't want to be hopeful but with neil's positive reaction, she tentatively feels hope anyway. maybe things rly will be different, right?

continues under the cut bc this got fucking long.

yeah, well, neil's good mood lasts until it's actually born and responsibilities ensue. he never had to deal with billy as a baby rly, bc billy's mom took care of that part and also, like. in this 'verse at least, billy was a low-maintenance baby. didn't cry much. maybe he did at first but like, after being dropped on the head a couple times, he just went quiet and didn't rly bother anybody after that. wouldn't get loud again until elementary age. and max didn't come into neil's life until she was even elementary age, so defo past all the baby stuff.

the new infant tho screams like a mofo. everybody in the house is on edge. sleep is hard to come by for the whole household. the care and keeping responsibilities mostly fall on susan but neil holds it against her every. single. time. he has to change a diaper or hold a bottle, as if it's some major failing on susan's part that he should ever have to do anything like this at all.

max tries to help but she can't even hold the baby tbh. it makes her v uncomfortable, she never gets it right and doesn't know what to do when it squirms!! what if she drops it!? plus she thinks baby smells weird even when it's got a clean diaper, an unappealing mashed food and powder combo with a lingering whiff of wet rubber. and billy. is billy. he has to watch it sometimes, naturally. if it's just him and baby at home, he'll blast his stereo to cover up the crying, as long as he knows its other needs have been tended to. like, yk, the "it'll cry itself to sleep eventually," approach. which works actually. metallica becomes the go-to baby lullaby.

but lo and behold, when it's like, let's say 6 months or smth, baby gets an ear infection. like babies do. won't stop wailing. just. will NOT stop. v much in pain and has no other means of communication. neil and max are home. billy is on a date. susan's stuck in a long line at the grocery store. neil had a shitty day at work and he's already aggravated. pacifier isn't working, lil thing just keeps hollering, so. in a burst of frustration, he starts throttling baby. max is in her own room but hears it the second the noises change and hurries to help, blood ice cold.

she stops neil from killing baby sibling but gets a black eye and a bloody nose for her troubles. this is what susan comes home to. i've written a lot of susan kills neil scenarios but i think this is the first one that comes to mind where in this round, it really is out of anger and not fear. both are present, ofc. but the actual act on her part is one of anger. bc she feels stupid that he ever had her the slightest bit convinced a new baby would make anything better. that neil ever made her feel like he'd be better and instead, he chose to be even worse. susan ties him to the bedposts under the guise of a sex thing, convincing neil she wants to treat him to smth special bc he's been oh so stressed out lately. bashes his brains in with a hammer at least 20 times, a la sally challen style.

alas, reality commences and susan goes to prison. ig a long time ago there was this made for tv movie abt this lady killing her abusive husband by setting the bed aflame that gave the public the misconception that women who kill their abusers are typically acquitted, but uh, that's not true. yeah, it was true for the lady whom the movie was based off of, but usually they're convicted and serve unduly harsh sentences for their "crimes." but if i get on that soap box, we gonna be here the whole fucking day, so, moving on now. susan's off to the big house. albeit both baby and max's injuries are documented and considered mitigating circumstances so her charges are reduced from first degree murder to voluntary manslaughter with the potential for early release.

billy's close to 19 so he's an adult, if only technically speaking. has custody of baby and max. i've decided baby in this 'verse is amab but will eventually come out as trans when she's abt ten yrs old. billy tries his best. max tries her best too. baby's nickname is ducky bc the rubber duck?? by far the favorite toy!! baby p much lives in the bathtub, playing with the rubber duck. billy, who would move them back to cali in a heartbeat if it wasn't so far from susan's prison, defo relates. he's also aquatic by nature.

okay, so the move back to cali does happen. over the months of her kids coming to visit her in prison susan can see how exhausted the teenagers are and she's p much just like, 'u guys gotta go. get outta this rural heckhole u hate, stop bringing urselves n my bby to this dismal place.' and they don't think she's serious but the next time they come to visit, she doesn't meet them, so. yup. serious it is. billy, max, n baby take neil's life insurance money and head off to cali.

this is a modern au, okay, inmates sneaking smartphones into the prison n all that. so susan makes deals and friends and does favors, and gets some help from the ones who are good at bitcoin and scams and counterfeiting and what have you. this enables her to do discreet online "shopping." so she gets ducky all kinds of rubber ducks, at least a handful of times a year. the ducks get more unique and less childish as ducky grows. susan apologizes almost every time she talks to the older kids on the phone for like, five yrs. max isn't rly angry with how things ended with neil tho, more so has that residual anger that susan ever got together with neil in the first place. billy doesn't rly know what to feel tbh, accepts the apologies p numbly bc he's too damn exhausted with being the primary caregiver in over his head to even think abt how he feels at the end of the day.

susan gets released on good behavior around the same time ducky comes out, announcing she's a girl. it's an adjustment for billy and max to get used to bc they never rly suspected, but they're 100% supportive. susan is...oddly excited? not for selfless reasons (tho she is earnestly supportive) but bc it's like. not only does that mean trashing the masculine deadname neil had adamantly declared for ducky, but it means all in all, she got out at the perfect time bc she gets to be introduced to the authentic version of her child along w errbody else. makes her feel less left behind, like she didn't miss out on errything despite being put away for a decade. susan moves in with all of them, obvi, in a small house by the seaside filled to the brim with rubber ducks (billy and max also contributed to ducky's collection on birthdays and holidays, the first duck billy ever got has skulls, and the first max ever got is a frankenstein monster duck). home is cluttered, awkward, and tentative but free of fear and ripe with *genuine* new beginnings.

believe me, anonymoose, i am just as surprised as u are at how fuckin long this got.

#ask box #susan hargrove #max mayfield #billy hargrove #neil hargrove #anonymoose #thanks for playing! #ask meme #ask game #child oc

[unicorn-and-bluebells]

For the film asks: 1, 3, 9

1: the most depressing movie I've seen (that wasn't a documentary! I'm discounting documentaries bc. Yeah) was probably Awakenings (the one with Robin Williams as a doctor and the ward of people with encephalitis lethargica). I've seen some movies that I think could technically or very easily be argued as much more depressing, but this one hurt bc there was the hope that the patients might be able to live the lives they want, the depressing reality that for some of them, so much has changed that it's like they time travelled to the future, and tHEN THE FACT THAT THE TREATMENT FAILS, and the fact that I watched this in December of 2020 when I was in the epic throes of anxiety about covid and The State Of Things. And the way Robin Williams was just so good at making you feel shit so earnestly when he wanted you to...just a big ouch all around

3: An actor/actress I've seen in 8 films (and which ones)...this is difficult, as I rarely pay attention to who actors are and I thus forget where I've seen them. I also tend to not recognise them easily. Literally the only one who is coming to mind: Charlie Chaplin, who I have seen in City Lights and a metric fuckton of little shorts, and Susan Lynch, who I have seen in The Secret Of Roan Inish, Interview With The Vampire (she makes a brief appearance as a Parisian theatre vampire), and Waking Ned Devine.

9: the most aesthetically pleasing movie I've seen. Oh, this one's hard. I think I'm going to tentatively say that The Secret Of Roan Inish, Akira, and Genji Monogatari (the 1981 animated adaptation) tie for this spot. Genji Monogatari is based on the famous novel of the same name, and. Well, I can't really do justice to either film without pictures, so.

Historically, I'm already really interested in the Heian era, so a handdrawn anime film based on a novel from then already has my attention. Then there's the way the art feels...quiet, I suppose, is the best word. Everything is dripping in full court luxury, everything is beautiful and gorgeous as well it should be, but it is subdued by the fog, by the hidden landscapes, by the soft and dark colours of the backgrounds and the sky. Then all the hair, the clothing, each movement of a body is brought into sharper focus against that quietness, and it flows almost like syrup, and it's simply beautiful. If you haven't seen it, I'm afraid it's a bit tricky to track down, and if you don't like the content of the novel you will not like the movie, but if you want to see gorgeous paintings in motion, watch it.

Then there's Akira. You've probably already heard of it, so I won't spend too much of your time on it, but.

My guy. It's beautiful and ugly and amazing and I love it. I first watched it with my besties at one of their houses sitting like 9 inches from the tv screen and it was a fucking EXPERIENCE. I'd seen a lot of anime before it, but nothing compares. The fluidity of the animation, the sheer fucking DETAIL in every corner of Neo-Tokyo (seriously you can spend hours looking at screenshots of streets and cities. It's like an "I Spy" book, it's nuts), the huge amount of expression in background characters as well as main ones (to the guy in the car that got bonked by a biker I hope your night got better), the way movement feels exaggerated yet real...it's fucking amazing even when weird shit isn't happening, but then you get to like. The bit with Tetsuo seeing the toys come alive (aka the bit that made me shit myself and die, metaphorically speaking), and it's just. FUCK ME DUDE WHAT??!! AAAHHH

And then The Secret Of Roan Inish!! This one's a movie I grew up on, so there's some happy nostalgia here too. But it's about a girl sent to live with her grandparents, who manages to convince them to return to the island where once they lived, plus it's about how her family history is interwoven with selkies and legend. I believe you can see it here if you wish, but here's some pictures for you as well.

It's very atmospheric, and reminds me a lot of the landscapes where I grew up (which is not Ireland but looks a lot like it sometimes). And the costumes just. Aagghh I could look at them all day! Plus the music is just LOVELY. Go see it if you haven't

#unicorn answers #ask game

[metalheadcowboy]

helloooooo! i'm actually on hiatus right now but the purge AU!!! with billy and steve!!!! YESSSS!!! I want it!!! I've been thinking about this AU and I actually wanted to make something for it. I love the idea of Billy recruiting Steve to help him get rid of Neil but I'm also wondering if Steve could do it? :o

HEY!!! I’ve missed seeing you on my dash!! <3

And that is a REALLY good question that I didn’t even think about, but I think it’s super important to put into play in this!!! I hope I took that right and I’m answering it the right way, if not PLEASE lmk XD

(WARNING: probably for semi descriptive death of the one and only Neil Hargrove lol.)

I do think that Steve would agree at first 1. because Billy doesn’t take no for an answer. And 2. because he doesn’t want to seem like a ‘pussy’. But I think that the long he lets the idea set in, the longer it twists his guts, and the longer he thinks about what they’re actually going to do.

Killing a human being isn’t like killing a demodog, he can’t live his life without the weight of the kill wearing on him like he could if it was just a meaningless demodog. Even if ultimately Neil is a horrible person and Steve learns of all the terrible things he’s done, it doesn’t do much to ease his nerves.

I think most of the car ride he’s silent and he’ll just let Billy talk and talk and talk his ear off, because God knows he can. He’s not exactly shutting down, he’s just thinking, thinking of what they’re going to do. He’d also hope that his parents didn’t find out he left the safety of their home, much less let other people in, or go out an kill somebody.

I think when they actually get there he’d have a moment of like, ‘is this real? This has to be a dream, right? We can’t be actually standing outside of your parents bedroom about to kill your dad.’ But then before he knows it Billy’s counting down and their busting in and all hell breaks loose. Steve’s just kind of standing there while Billy yells at him to do something. He’d watch Neil go for the gun safe, only to find the gun that was supposed to be in there pointed directly at them. And Susan will try to stand between them and Billy will try to reason with her, make her believe that it’s better this way with the three of them, because, in reality, it is. But she won’t listen and keeps getting on the way, so , in the end Steve’s forced to restrain her, dragging her to the ground by slipping his arms under her armpits and sitting down. He swears he’ll never forget the sound of Susan’s screams so close to his own ear or the sound that the bullet in the gun makes when it shoots right through Neil’s skull not, once, not twice, but three times until he fell to the ground with a hefty thunk.

He didn’t even know he was crying until he felt the all too familiar slide of the salt water tear drops sliding from his jaw down his neck. He didn’t know what was causing it, not sadness, but maybe guilt? As soon as the job was done he let go of Susan, not being able to hold her back anymore, pretty sure he’d have a bruise or two from swinging elbows.

He would almost block out everything that happens from the time that Billy pulls him up from the floor and out to the car to when he ends up back at his own house. But apparently Billy somehow convinced Susan to come back and she was curled up in the corner of his couch and Max was still watching TV with her newfound candy and Coke.

The first words he speaks are to excuse himself upstairs to his room, needing some time to himself after that. He’d curl himself up in his big duvet and just sob, hugging himself. He knew it wasn’t a pretty sight with the snot running down his nose and tears leaving red streaks coming from his eyes, but it’s not like anyone was watching anyways. He didn’t feel like himself, sure, he used t be a jerk, but even that Steve Harrington wouldn’t murder someone. Even if he wasn’t the one to preform the job, he still was a witness and literally held Susan back to let Billy get the easy kill. And didn’t that make him an equal part in the job? He felt like he needed to shed his own skin, thrashing under the heavy blanket, short fingernails clawing at his skin like he was attempting to escape himself.

And When Billy finds him, coming to check up on him only to find this, he has to think fast. He quickly untangles Steve from the duvet, trying to get him to calm down, trying to talk to him, but when that doesn’t work he takes things into the hands of physicality. He straddles Steve’s waist and takes a firm, but gentle grip on his wrists and hold them above his head and, man, he really thought the first time he’d do this it’d be a lot more sexy, but that didn't’ turn out to be the case. It was too dark to really see anything other that Steve’s eyes shinning with fresh tears threatening to slip down the sides of his head. And Billy swears he’ll break in half when Steve whimpers out a soft and stuttered.

“I- I- I’m n-ot a murd-d-der.”

And he doesn’t even know what to say to that. Doesn’t know what else to do other than to lean down and press his lips to Steve’s, not caring about the snot that had run down onto them, not caring about anything else other than comforting Steve.

#Steve Harrington #Billy Hargrove #Harringrove #Stranger Things #I feel like these are all too short?? #Idk but here you go :) #also send me more hcs!! #I'll take pretty much any you have!! #<3

[niccage]

Can’t stop watching this gif

#KATIE’S FACE KILLLLLS ME #vanderpump rules #susan watches too much reality tv

[powerosewaterpuff]

so one question , what happen after bruce " death "

okokok so first off thank you so so much for this, it def helped get my creative juices flowing (and i totally didn’t do this instead of study for my exams :) )! so, when it came to bruce’s death i wanted to do one scene/moment that kinda encapulasted all the emotions happening etc., and i’m assuming u meant in terms of my lil reverse robin au with jason being the oldest (i really should make this a series lol) so yeah, please enjoy and this legit was churned out at 2:04AM on the dot so yk its s h i t

••••••••••

It was the soft snoring that had tipped Jason off.

The sound slowly flowed through the winds and slipped into his ears, as he went from rooftop to rooftop, as he scoured closer to Wayne Manor. He had avoided his old ‘home’ like the plague, a plague so dark and twisted it could infect him by only a glance but for some reason he felt almost obligated to get at least one check or look.

Maybe, it was the off handed disparaging comment that Dick had made in patrol under this breath after settling a crime scene a little too close to Jason’s turf that no one had caught except him that was yanking his unwilling body to just check that everything was fucking peachy. It was just a check. He would be in and out with minimal harm done and no one would even have to see him, and he could quell this annoying little voice creaking on about how much he has failed Dick, blathering on and on about his so many shortcomings when it came to him.

He hadn’t exactly expected to find Dick curled in his civvies up on an old nook by one of the gargoyles perched on the roof and snoring away. It was a spot they had haunted a lot in their youth, and Dick would insist on pulling Jason out of the warm confines of his bed just to watch the sun come up from that very spot. Jason would moan and complain about it for a while but once he saw the iridescent sheen of the blazing sun rearing it’s head on the horizon, he would clamp his mouth shut to enjoy the view.

He examined Dick critically and weighed his odds objectively as he inched closer, each thunk of his boots a calculated risk he was annoyingly choosing to take. Dick was clearly safe in some capacity and if the little brats down below couldn’t find him they would eventually try the roof, so Jason couldn’t exactly pinpoint the reason why he was still moving closer, tense but still moving. It was almost like a snake, slithering forward with its defences high as it keeps itself on edge for any sudden movements.

He would’ve left. Jason was going to leave, he had already eased his fragile conscience as it was, and he knew that Dick wasn’t in any life threatening danger, (Unless the danger was Jason himself), but it wasn’t until he was close enough to cock his head to the side a bit to get a better angle on Dick’s face, when he stopped in his tracks.

Little tear tracks, almost vein like, had stained Dick’s cheeks. They weren’t even all that noticeable, but the sheer existence of them at all was enough to make Jason just stop.

(He had always had a hard time ignoring Dick’s tears, hadn’t he? When Dick would sprain an ankle, or get even the mildest of all mild concussions, and his eyes began to get this glassy sheen while he desperately tried to hide them, Jason would be unable to leave his side. He had almost sworn himself into the duty of making sure Dick didn’t cry. Oh, how fate fiddles with its toys.)

Swallowing hard, Jason’s eyes flickered around, doing one last sweep of his surroundings. He sighed, attaching his gun to the holster around his waist and crouched down on the balls of his feet next to Dick. He fucking despised how Dick almost realized he was next to him, and shifted his position. Leaning his head onto Jason’s shins.

Jason knew enough to keep his connection with Dick as thin as he possibly could, but he was too selfish to let it burn to the ground like all the countless bridges he had torched and scorned at. Knowledgeable enough to distance but too selfish to leave.

What a fucking motto that was.

Jason took yet another shaky sigh, a lot more haggard this time, as he rubbed his hands over the smooth material of his helmet. It grounded him, for a slip of a moment, as he tried to avert his eyes from Dick’s form that was rising and falling slowly. Every time he glanced over, he managed to find something else he hated.

The dark circles making stark holes under his eyes.

The pinched look pulling at his features.

Those stupid fucking tear stains that were just screeching at Jason.

(“Batman just saves everyone, doesn’t he?”)

The fact that everytime Jason blinked, an eerily green shade would overtake his vision, leaving the form next to him shifting and contorting between the man next to him and the little twelve year old he had left behind. Scorched in the flames of Jason’s symphony.

Jason fumbled to release himself from his helmet, as his mind played catch up woth his thoughts and he ignored the pulling at his chest. He shoved the helmet off as it fizzed away, and threw his head back to take clumsy gulps of air. The putrid smell of rotting flesh mixed with dirt was ripping through him, but he pushed it aside. As he always did.

You just couldn’t fucking leave, Todd. Why the fuck couldn’t you just leave, huh? Ironic, wasn’t it? You keep demanding people realize you’re a different creature from what you once were, yet you can barely differentiate between your twelve year old brother and the man whose morphed into everything you fucking hate. Why? Why are you here? Move. Move. Get up. Get the fuck up, Tod-.

“Y’know? You are such an asshole,” Jason croaked softly, shifting his eyes to see if Dick stirred but to no response.

“I know you don’t want this. I know that, so why are you still against m—,” Jason ran a hand through his hair and tugged at his roots slightly, “Batman saves everyone, huh? He doesn’t save you though, does he? No ones here to catch you when you fall anymore, and now you’re crying on a fucking roof.”

He curled his hands around his roots tighter, feeling the pull of his skin prickle at his mind, “You’re setting a bad example, Dick. What will your dearest little brats think about this performance? He never pulled shit like this. You know that, though. I know you do. That’s why you’re doing it in a little secret spot so that you can turn yourself around, and give that stupid smile that no one believes anyways. I always thought you were a little less predictable then that. I overestimated, clearly.”

Jason resolved to stare at the drying splatters of blood that adorned the soles of his shoes. He bit down the churning of acids in his stomach, a feeble attempt of his conscience to make him feel like shit. He had overestimated. He had. Dick wasn’t fucking better, it didn’t matter that he had tried to smother the Joker in an adrenaline high, because he was still as useless as Bruce. Jason was effective, he got shit done that no one else had the stomach to do and that was fine. He had far gotten over his pleading desire for Batman to avenge him, it was a fallacy of the boy who had become a rotting carcass under the confines of wood and shattering bones. Jason has become far more attuned to the reality of his situation, not the fallacy.

As the moon revealed itself from behind a long string of clouds, Jason once again glanced down at Dick. He snorted softly, as he saw a certain gleam in Dick’s waves of hair.

“God, do you still use that same pomade? I swear you got an allergy from that, did you not? Anyways it still fucking reeks, so you better take that shit off.”

Jason allowed himself to slowly unfurl his hands from almost tanking out tufts of his hair, as he felt the tightly wound rope around his chest unwind ever so slowly.

“Grayson? Grayson!”

The shrill tilt of a voice shoved Jason back into reality, and he was already setting his helmet into place, with his line soaring across the sky to another building. He cast a fleeting look at Dick, before he soared off into the sky before the little boy dressed in a jalabiya got the chance to peak his head into the little flap leading up to the roof.

Fin

(P.S. It really hadn’t been Jason’s ideal Friday night, by any means necessary. He had envisioned himself finally finishing Little Women, and being able to devour the next book that had ‘mysteriously’ shown by his door. Instead, he was roped into watching Miracle on 34th Street with a particular blue bird perched on the floor by his couch.

Bryon has just been complaining to Kris about his failed proposal attempt with Susan, when Jason caught onto the sound of soft breathing with a hint of a snore. He pushed himself out of his previous position, and peered down to find Dick slumped on the floor with his head resting on the side of Jason’s legs. He sighed, his lips twitching upwards as he didn’t dare move his legs from their spot.

He stretched his arms out out, to reach for both his book that was on the old coffee table as well as the remote. He smacked the end of the remote a few times, and slowly lowered the volume on the TV. (Dick had once told him he never really liked sleeping in complete silence, it bothered him to some extent). He then flipped to the page he had stopped on, slowly pulling out an old but pristine bookmark that Jason and Bruce had made once, and gently placed it next to him. He leaned back, resting his aching back as his eyes flickered over the words of the novel, all the more aware of the presence by his feet but he found himself not minding all that much. He knew this kind of calming bliss was only temporary with the ‘clan’ they had but he savoured it with all he had.

...The children are regular archangels, and I-well, I’m Jo, and never shall be anything else. Oh, I must tell you that I came near having a quarrel with Laurie...(P.267 of Little Women.)

•••

SOOO THATS IT THIS TOOK SO MUCH LONGER THAN I WANTED I AM SO SORRY! i’m pretty pleased with how it turned out and even though it’s not a series of hc’s per say i wanted to kinda encapsulate everything yk? also damian wears a jalabiya please let this child be connected to his culture for my sanity and his (my little egyptian-canadian ass needs this o k?) also my plan is to do a lil christmas fic with bruce and dick but u h h i have shitty time management skills lEMME TELL UUU I STILL HAVE WAY TOO MUCH UNFINISHED SHIT IN AO3 T-T BUT ANWAYS THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING THIS WAS HELLA FUN TO DO :)!!

#batman #batkids #reverse robin au #reverse robins #jason peter todd #big brother jason #dick grayson #dick is batman #damian wayne #for a lil bit #dcu #dc #all aboard the angst train #toot toot #red hood #oh those boys are in pAIN #one of them is asleep tho but his pain is ALL THE MORE EVIDENT I LEGIT HAVE A PROBLEM WHY CAN I ONLY WRITE FUCKING ANGSTTTTT #dc universe #batfam #batfamily #iS MY FAV THING TO WRITE N U CANT STOP ME AHHAHAAHHA #robin #feels #family feels #hurt/no comfort #comfort #but only at the end it’s mostly all angsty hurt #post death tings #angst

[kingofno-whereville]

You potray billy and Steve well, I was wondering if you could write about the whole party getting involved to try and get billy and Steve together because billy and Steve just don't belivie that other is gay/bi or whatever

I tried something new with this prompt but I hope you like it!! it got pretty long ahah

------

Max was glad Billy was feeling better. She wasn’t sure he’d live to see another day after the mall incident. But even though he was feeling better and being nice, he was closed off. She’d never seen him wear a sweatshirt before but now he practically lived in his grey sweatshirt with “San Diego” printed in bold across the front. He’d sit on the couch in the living room(he roamed the house a lot more freely since her mom kicked Neil out. Good riddance.) and watch tv or just...stare at the wall. Like he’d go to his own little reality on that couch.

She tried to pull him out of his slump. As happy as she was to see him doing better in terms of physical health, she couldn’t stand to see him the way he was. She was starting to miss his loud and proud personality. So she’d get him to drive her to the party’s meetings. Ms. Byers pretty much always hosted the little group in the house her and Hopper had bought(it warmed her heart to see how happy El looked to have such a big family.) It took almost a month of asking to get Billy to come inside. The party was expecting him since Max explained her plan to them. They were willing to give him another chance. 

She could tell he felt out of place but before she even spoke to him, El was pulling him by the wrist to sit by her on the couch. Max didn’t quite understand the dynamic between her brother and El. El would visit him in the hospital and continued to visit when Billy came home. Sometimes she’d hear Billy reading to El in the living room. She was a little jealous because- yeah that’s her brother and she’d never admit it but she wanted attention from him. But she understood Billy needed his space. She’d wait.

The second time she got him to come, Steve was there. Everyone noticed them staring at the each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. The third time, about half way through the session she noticed Billy and Steve had disappeared. She excused herself for a moment to look for them. She checked the porch and saw the two of them sharing a cigarette on the porch and laughing quietly. She left them alone. Maybe Billy would benefit from having a friend his age. But then they kept disappearing to sit on the porch and talk. After a month of them disappearing every Saturday afternoon, she confronted Billy in the car.

“What’s up with you and Steve?”

She knew Billy was gay. Found out before they moved to Hawkins. She walked in on him and another guy getting a little closer than she wanted to see. Not that she’s against being gay. She just didn’t want to see her step-brother half naked, getting hot and heavy on his bed with anyone. 

“We’re just friends.”

“But do you like him.” He was quiet, quieter than usual at least, his knuckles getting white on the wheel and then barely flushing red before turning white again.

“He’s not into guys.” She left it at that. With Billy at least. But she’d get to the bottom of this.

Tuesday was Steve’s day to drive some of the kids to school so Max stayed after everyone got out at school.

“What’re you doing Max? You gotta get to school.” Steve’s such a mother hen.

“What’s the deal with you and my brother?”

“Huh? Nothing.” Steve’s a lot easier to read than Billy. She barely said anything and his cheeks were already pink.

“Do you want to kiss him or something? You’re always sneaking off together.”

“I- no we’re just friends.”

“That’s the same thing he said. I almost think you rehearsed it.” Steve let out a laugh.

“We’re just close Max. Now go to school, okay?” She got out but leaned in the window.

“If you like Billy you can tell me.”

“Alright. I’ll keep that in mind now go to school.” 

Steve was a dead give away. The pink cheeks, the hesitation in his answers. So either they were already together or they needed an extra push. She’d ask her brother again when he drove her home from school. 

But Steve was in Billy’s car when he picked her up. She had to listen to them flirt the entire drive home. Billy stopped in the drive way but didn’t turn the car off.

“Max can you tell Susan I’m hanging out at Steve’s tonight?”

“Yeah? See you tomorrow Billy.” He waved to her when she got out before driving off. She ran to her room and grabbed her walkie talkie. “Guys! Guys are you there?”

“What’s up?” Lucas was first to answer. 

“I think Steve and my brother are like...in love or something.”

“Ok?” Mike didn’t sound very interested in Max’s revelation.

“I think we should set them up.”

“I’m down. I can’t stand the way Steve’s been staring at him since they started hanging out. He’s all..lovestruck or whatever.” Dustin.

“I’m thinking if we all give them little pushes in the right direction they can do it on their own.” She’d thought this through since she started picking up on the way they looked at each other.

“What do you need us do?” Lucas is like a dog in some ways. He’s loyal and if you throw him something he’ll get it for you. Too bad he lies.

“I think we should start by making it clear to both of them that they both like men. We can bring it up before they go sit on the porch.”

“How? Do they even know that we know they like..guys?” It’s always nice to hear Will’s voice. He usually doesn’t talk much during after school. He likes to do his homework as soon as he got home. 

“Steve kinda...told me he likes guys? Not dramatically he just mentioned it in a conversation.” It didn’t really surprise her that Dustin knew about Steve.

“Ok well then maybe if you ask Steve if he’s got a guy he’s rushing off to when he gets up to leave then that’ll set them up for an opportunity.”

“How do you know Billy will make a move?”

“Come on. It’s Billy. Of course he’ll make a move.”

Saturday came and sure enough, Max was the first to see Steve moving towards the door. She kicked Dustin under the table, Dustin looking up to see Steve leaving now too.

“Where are running off to Steve? Got some boy waiting on you?”

“What? No! I’m just going outside.” Max looked behind her to see Billy looking a little shaken in his seat. Good. 

“Alright have fun!” Steve shook his head before going out, Billy going outside not long after. 

But nothing seemed to change. The weekend passed and everything stayed the same. But Steve was in Billy’s car Monday morning on the drive to school. 

“Where are you two off to today?”

“We’re going to hang out why do you care?”

“None of your business.” The rest of the car ride was quiet but she kept an eye on the two of them. Even if they weren’t together, they definitely had feelings for each other. They would look at each other and then look away sometimes. At some point she saw them reach for the radio and bump hands, the two of them laughing quietly. She could see how red Steve’s ears were and could only imagine what the rest of his face looked like. She didn’t understand love much. She didn’t even think she’d ever loved someone like that. Not even Lucas in the time they were together. Not to say she never wanted to love someone. She wanted someone to look at her the way Steve looked at Billy, even after everything Billy had done. She was pretty sure Steve had brought Billy back out of the shell he’d been hiding in for months after the incident. Maybe they didn’t know it yet but they were meant for each other. 

The party was waiting for her outside of the school. 

“Hey guys.”

“Well? Did it work?” Dustin was always business. 

“No. I don’t think it did.” Sure they were all lovey or whatever but she just had a strong feeling that they needed another push. “I think we need to set them up on a date. Clearly they can’t do it themselves.”

“We could drag them to the movies on Friday after school?” 

“That’s actually a great idea. Thanks Will! Some of us can ride with Billy and Dustin you can get Steve to drive the rest of you.”

“Alright.”

She asked Billy on the way home if he could drive her, El, and Lucas to the movies on Friday. Of course he said yes. Dustin gave an all clear on Steve driving the rest of them to the movies over their walkie talkies. Friday came. Max got Billy to come inside with them, said the movie was supposed to be really good. It helped that it was scary. He got them a big bowl of popcorn to share and sodas. Steve, Dustin, Mike, and Will walked in while they were getting their sodas.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Max!” Will waved to her from the door. They all met up in front of the the theater but Billy and Steve stayed behind.

Steve had been there for Billy during a really tough time after the incident. He made him feel like himself again. Maybe that’s why he stopped him outside the theater. He did love him. After everything, how could he not love him?

“Do you want to sit with me during the movie? Away from the kids?”

“If I was smart I’d think you were asking me out Billy.”

“I am.”

“Alright. I’m saying yes then.” Steve’s smile always made his heart skip a beat. There’d been so many times where he’d smile and Billy’s thought about kissing him. He’s kind of glad he waited though.

Max spent the entire movie trying not to look behind her. She knew that Billy and Steve had picked a seat in the way back of the empty theater but she wanted to let them be. Near the end of the movie she couldn’t help herself though and she was glad because she just barely caught them kissing and laughing quietly about god even knows what. She’s glad they had each other.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #max mayfield #stranger things #will being soft #max is very smart #i had to rush the end because it's 1am and I feel like i dragged this on for a while #it took way too long to respond to this request

[stevesnailbat]

fear of the (un)known | steve harrington

chapter three : fix you

summary: Grace, or 007 as she had been called, finally escaped Hawkins Lab after seventeen long years. But, freedom is a lot harder than she thought it would be to maintain.

warnings: blood, angst

word count: 1.8K

a/n: this is the first time i’m writing grace as using her powers!! the quotation all in italics marks someone’s thoughts and that’s how i’m going to do it for the rest of it too :) i mention my fav childhood book in this and just found out that it was from the seventies today—eric carle was my fav author as a kid. again, GIF IS NOT MINE!! it’s from google!

read the rest HERE!

Being in the cabin was nothing short of interesting, there was always something new happening. El and Grace grew close very quickly, they made up for lost time in a day or two. Grace felt at home almost immediately, the pressure to use her powers lifted off her shoulders as time went on. For the first time in her life, she felt like she might be something more than just a weapon.

Things were all around on the up-and-up for the first week or so of staying there, since Hopper took a few extra days off of work. He wanted her to acclimate to the place nicely without feeling like going crazy, which she had done so far. That was, until the day the El wanted to go to Mike’s. Hopper had to go into the station for the first time in a while and El was trying to convince him to take her to the Wheeler’s beforehand. Grace listened to the two bicker from the her bedroom, but knew that El would win the fight.

“You can go over there as long as it’s not just you and him, okay? If I hear that it was just you two alone in that basement, you’re not allowed over there anymore and you’re grounded!” Hopper threatened as he threw on his jacket, Grace just knew El was rolling her eyes at him at this point.

There was a knock on the door of Grace’s new bedroom, and she hummed in assurance for them to come in. It was Hop, wearing his uniform and a concerned frown. She furrowed her brow as she looked at him, but soon a sinking realization settled in her gut—she’d be alone for the first time since she found salvation in the cabin.

“Hey, kid. Uh—I’m about to head to the station for a bit and El wants to go to Mike’s for a little bit, are you alright to stay here? Alone?” he asked in a soft, almost intimidated voice.

The softness of his voice was ironic, considering she was half his size, but fitting for the situation. He didn’t know how she’d react to being on her own for the first time and he, in good conscience, couldn’t leave without peace of mind that she’d keep it together.

“Yeah—Yeah! I should be fine here for a few hours.” she said, smiling over at him reassuringly.

“Alright, kid, just making sure. My number is taped onto the wall next to the phone and there’s those TV dinners in the freezer. Take the foil off of them before you put them in—“ he started, noting the amused smile on her face while he cut himself off, remembering she wasn’t a child. “Just—Just call me if you need anything, alright?”

She agreed and said goodbye to the two of them, feeling odd as soon as they left. Soon enough, she was finding something to do to busy herself. There were plenty of things that she had wanted to do for so long, like listen to music and watch TV, things she had only heard about in passing. So, she started by listening to the radio in the background while getting to know the house a little better. After becoming bored with the radio, she tried the TV. Sure, she had watched some Miami Vice reruns with El and Hop, but she wanted to find something new. She searched and searched for something to fixate on for more than ten minutes, but there was nothing.

At this point, Grace was downright bored. She looked all around the house to find something, anything to do to occupy herself. After some searching, a pile of books on the kitchen table caught her eye. She was intrigued, to say the least, especially after remembering El reading one of them just that morning. So, Grace picked one up and flipped to some random page.

Realization hit her all at once when she looked down at the page and her heart sunk. In her years at the lab, she was trained to speak English, Spanish and Russian. She was the most eloquent experiment that Hawkins Lab had, and they were damn proud of it. Grace could manipulate people’s thoughts into whatever language she needed, she could tell people what she wanted without even speaking. But in all of those years stuck in those confinements, she didn’t learn how to fucking read more than a few basic words.

Grace could remember the first—and last—time she saw a book at the lab like it was yesterday. She was only eight years old and saw a colorful book in one of the testing rooms, they had left it in there after one of the other kids had left. She could remember crying and screaming when they tore it away from her, she just wanted to see it. But, Brenner pushed on, making her start whatever testing they were doing that day. They soon gave up, realizing that she was relentless and wouldn’t do anything unless she got to see the book.

There was one experimenter that worked under Brenner, her name was Susan, and she was the only person Grace had an ounce of trust for in that place. She could remember sitting with Susan that day and could nearly hear her voice reading the book to her as she replayed the memory in her mind. The book was A Very Hungry Caterpillar, she would never forget it. Grace envied that stupid caterpillar that turned into a butterfly when she was a kid, and at seventeen—almost eighteen—years old she still did. She wanted to fly away from everything, forget about the past and let go of Hawkins Lab forever, but she knew that wasn’t possible.

The thing about powers is that they’re not always super. In Grace’s case, it seemed like they were never super. She felt like the villain all the time, like she could never use her powers for good. Brenner had trained her to have a desire to use them all the time, to feel a need to use her powers on anyone that crossed her path. As much as she hated it, she could never make the impulse go away. She had fought the feeling off for a little over a week now, so it was getting difficult to control. The only problem was that now that she was alone, she felt like she couldn’t do anything about the impulse.

When there wasn’t anyone around to read, her mind would seem to eat itself away. She had tried to distract herself with anything that she could, but she’d ran out of ideas after picking up the unreadable book. She started to replay memory after memory from her own life, trying to satiate the need to use her power. It wasn’t working like she thought it would, she had never had this problem in the lab there was always someone around that she could read there.

She had no idea how long she had sat at the kitchen table with that stupid book clutched in her fingers, honestly. The concept of time for her was useless in the moment, since each memory seemed to last longer than the last one. She was in such a daze that she didn’t even hear the front door when it creaked open at 9 p.m., when El slipped into the house with Steve in tow. Hop had called him and ordered him to check on the place when he dropped El off for the night.

Grace could hear someone talking next to her, but couldn’t understand what they were saying. Her nose was dripping blood and had pooled onto the table beneath her chin, she was in an exhausted daze and hadn’t even noticed. She would’ve never guessed that her powers could be so self-destructive, but here she was, feeling like her trauma was eating her alive.

The only thing to bring her back to reality was when a hand touched hers, sending shockwaves through her body. She didn’t want to, but she was sent into their thoughts. Her eyes snapped towards Steve as his hand reached for hers to get her attention, and was immediately pulled into his mind. He was scared, terrified almost. He couldn’t tell that she was in his thoughts, but he knew she was lost in something.

“What the hell is going on? I thought she could read people’s minds, what was she doing?” he thought. “Okay, don’t panic—just stay calm. El will freak out if I do and I don’t want her to call Hop. Just think—don’t panic, even though this shit is crazy. Wait, why is she looking at me like that? She looks so tired—why does she look so beautiful still—no, stop—“

She eventually pulled herself out out his mind and felt like she the wind had been knocked out of her when she came back. Her head nearly dropped from exhaustion when she came to, but Steve was there to catch her, paper towel in hand to wipe the blood, before it did. El watched from afar, terrified of what was happening because she knew exactly what Grace had done to herself.

“You alright?” he asked, lifting her chin to wipe the blood as she shook her head weakly. “What happened?”

“Can’t—Can’t read.” she whimpered, looking up at him through lidded eyes, seeing the concern spread across his face.

He only furrowed his brow at her words, knowing that she didn’t even know what she was saying at this point. Steve pried the book that was still in her grip from her fingers then slipped his arm underneath hers, picking her up to carry her into her bedroom. Grace went willingly, no energy left in her to fight or explain what actually happened. She was limp in his arms and exhaustion was taking over quickly, eyes fighting to stay open for a little longer.

“Want to read.” she whispered as he put her into the bed, wiping any of the excess blood from her nose. “Want to learn.”

“We’ll teach you how to read, okay? You gotta sleep right now, though. We’ll fix this all soon, we’ll fix you and make you better.” Steve said, a bittersweet smile on his lips as she nodded lazily, cuddling into the sheets as sleep began to take over.

“Beautiful.” she hummed, dozing off as she spoke “Like the butterfly.”

The last thing she could remember was Steve’s thoughts, when he called her so beautiful specifically. It reminded her of the book Susan read to her when she was in that testing room nearly ten years before, when the caterpillar turned into a beautiful butterfly. She felt better, felt like there was hope as she drifted away. Steve and El watched her for a few moments after she fell asleep, making sure she stayed asleep and didn’t wake up and freak out. But she seemed content, and already looked much better than she did when they first walked into the house.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @hystericalmedicine @charmed-asylum @queenofthehairharrington @a-magey @lemonypink @daddystevee @karasong @heart-eye-harrington @batbatsupermanme @used-avocado @letscici @igotmadskills @jxnehxpper

#steve harrington #fear of the (un)known #steve harrington x original character #stranger things #stranger things 1 #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #steve harrington angst #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #steve harrington fluff #stranger things angst #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x lab escapee #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #stranger things x oc #stranger things x original character #stranger things x lab escapee

[fortunatelylori]

1/2 Hi! I really liked your review of Sanditon ep. 7! I wanted to ask for your thoughts about the Heraclitus comment but the conversation around it. I agree Sidney absolutely did not intend to insult Charlotte, but Eliza turned it into an insult and the rest of the party (except Lady Susan) all laughed at Charlotte's expense. And it cut to Charlotte's insecurity about not fitting in with the London crowd, which we also saw at the ball in ep. 6.

2/2 But while at the ball Sidney told her “not to doubt” herself and “you’re more than equal to any woman here,” in ep. 7, he doesn’t laugh, but he doesn’t say anything reassuring either when he catches up with her. He only says he hopes she wasn’t she wasn’t offended by Mrs. Campion, and that it was all “in jest.” He clearly meant well, but that’s the worst thing to say to someone who is clearly hurt and upset by said “jest.” And he didn’t reassure her, which hurt as well. What do you think?

Hi! Sorry this turned into a 3/3. I would have really liked to see more of Sidney and Eliza, especially after her behavior toward Charlotte. Because we know Sidney doesn’t agree with her assessment of Charlotte, but not if he said anything about it to Eliza. I wish we had seen their last conversation! We know so little about their story. Did he realize how mean she actually is and how her behavior was inappropriate?

Hey, nonnie!

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed my review.

 I wanted to ask for your thoughts about the Heraclitus comment but the conversation around it.

Oh, good! We get to talk about my current favorite subject: Sidney Parker. You have unleashed the cracken, nonnie! Get your tea, biscuits, sausages or whatever and strap in. This is going to be a loooooong one!

I actually thought it would be interesting to try and analyze Sidney throughout this episode because, as I said, the narrative choice of making Eliza’s reappearance all about Charlotte’s unrequited love drama has robbed us of some insight into Sidney. For all intents and purposes Eliza was his plot, not Charlotte’s and it’s a shame Davies didn’t explore it. 

That being said, I do think that enough was given in order to create a pretty clear picture of what Sidney was going through if you are willing to look more in depth. And let’s face it, we’re all willing since we’re spending inordinate amounts of time watching these scenes.

Btw, I’m at my 87th rewatch of the dance scene. Anyone else keeping score? And speaking of that glorious tv moment to be treasured for all time, that’s where our clue hunt must start. In this particular moment to be precise:

This is the genesis, the big bang if you will of Sidney’s crisis and the word that can describe him from this moment on is: CONFUSION! Sidney spends the entirety of episode 7 in a state of confusion.

You can see it in this moment above. He goes from complete calm decisiveness in regards to what he feels for Charlotte and what he wants from her to completely losing the plot in a matter of seconds when faced with the return of Eliza Campion.

Look at him! I don’t think we’ve ever seen Sidney this flustered. And the way he walks towards her, like a moth to the flame? In an instant it’s very clear just how much he must have loved this woman and that, for the time being, he’s forgotten all about Charlotte.

There is a brief moment where he remembers her that will be echoed in episode 7, when he brings Eliza to Tom’s house:

Episode 6: 

Episode 7: 

Theo James is really bringing his A game to these micro expressions because you can see very clearly that Sidney hesitates and also feels a bit uncomfortable having Charlotte see him with Eliza. He is, however, spellbound by Eliza in the London scene:

Incidentally we will never see Sidney this happy in her presence again. On the subject of micro expressions, I would like to draw your attention to this smile Theo James does over and over again. It’s almost a tic at this point:

Once you see it, you can’t really unsee it. This is the face Sidney does every time he doesn’t actually want to say what’s on his mind and it’s his way of keeping people at arm’s length. The reason why this is important is that he has this expression in every single scene he shares with Eliza:

Beach scene: 

Boatus interruptus: 

Tent of doom: 

The don’t make me do this scene: 

He’s also pretty much retired this expression when talking to Charlotte, instead hitting her with the irresistible combination of:

and …

My guess is Eliza didn’t see those pearly whites once during her whole stay in Sanditon.

So, given all of this distant body language, why is Sidney confused to begin with? Clearly Charlotte makes him happy while Eliza makes him indifferent at best and unpleasantly surprised at worst (we’ll get to that).

In order to answer that, we need to pay a little attention to this line Sidney says, during his scene with his brothers:

Sidney: It is a strange feeling. You’ve wanted something impossible for so long and suddenly it’s within your grasp.

If we were to do an exercise of imagination, we could go back in time to a young Sidney Parker. What would he have been like? I would argue he wouldn’t be all that dissimilar to Charlotte. Basically a happy, go lucky kind of guy who grew up in a loving family. Or as Eleanor Tilney in Northanger Abbey would put it, a person with a dangerous upbringing. 

Sidney grew up thinking that the world was a basically wonderful place and everyone was “as pure of heart”as he. With the romantic notions of a young man, he fell in love with the pretty and witty Eliza and perhaps turned a blind eye to her more disagreeable traits. That was until those traits hit him right in the emotions organ and she left him to marry an older, richer man.

I don’t think it can be understated just how cruelly Eliza behaved. This isn’t Anne Elliot refusing Fredrick Wentworth’s proposal because she’s a young girl who’s a little too trusting when it comes to the adults in her life. This is a girl who knowingly strung Sidney along, through an engagement, only to leave him in the dust the moment a more “appealing” option came along.

Despite all of this, Sidney isn’t angry at her (supposedly at least). Moreover, he admits to having dreamed about their reunion for years. Usually when you dream about getting back with someone who showed so little care for you it’s because you’ve idealized them in your head and you probably remember that relationship through rose colored glasses.

That’s why Arthur is truly the genius of the Parker family. Just look at this smooth motherfucker smashing those glasses of delusion:

Arthur: Do you know that for years all I knew about my brother Sidney was that he was driven to the West Indies with a broken heart?

He instinctively understands that if he were to outright tell Sidney that getting back with the woman who used his heart for minced meat, that would make his brother dismiss him immediately. Instead he gently reminds him of  the pain she caused. Which still elicits a defensive answer from Sidney:

Sidney: And what is your point, Arthur?

So in his very jovial, kind way, Arthur kicks Sidney right in the feeling nuts:

Arthur: I admire your spirit of forgivness. That is all. If it were me, I do not think I could bring myself to trust her again.

Still, Arthur’s intervention can only go so far. Sidney’s wanted to be with Eliza for so long … How could he help himself from being in her company when given the opportunity?

Well actually he can help himself quite easily …

Coming back to the whole topic that you were talking about, we need to separate Sidney’s actions from Sidney’s words because his failure to understand himself is displayed in this marked difference. 

Let me give you an example: Sidney says he’s wanted Eliza for a long time. But how does Eliza Campion get to Sanditon? Does Sidney bring her, eager to have her near him?

No … Sidney doesn’t bring her because Sidney left London after the ball and is now spending his time waiting for Charlotte in Mrs. Griffith’s drawing room. Eliza gets to Sanditon on her own, surrounded by her minions. And this creates a trend throughout the episode, where Sidney might be talking about Eliza but seeks Charlotte out every chance he gets and it’s actually Eliza that is pursuing him.

Sidney’s true confusion doesn’t even really come from having to choose between Charlotte and Eliza but rather because he can’t get his mind around the fact that he is no longer in love with the woman that has occupied his thoughts for years. He’s carried her around with him for so long that now that she’s here and available, he can’t really grasp why he’s no longer interested.

It must be because:

Sidney: I haven’t picked up an oar in years.

Or because

Sidney: I had convinced myself that I was destined to remain alone. That I was ill suited for matrimony.

These series of excuses go on and on throughout his interactions with Eliza because what Sidney really loved was the way he had loved her and not Eliza herself. And that idyllic image of what might have been is shuttered by reality because:

Sidney: A man cannot step into the same river twice.

Charlotte: For he is not the same man and it is not the same river.

How fitting it is that it’s Charlotte who finishes this quote for him. Because in Eliza and Charlotte, Sidney has the opportunity to either go back and relive the what might have been or go forward and live the what can be. To go back means to try and be the same man on the same river. To go forward means to leap into the unknown with someone new.

What does Sidney do?

Might I just point out that if he wanted to balance the boat he could have invited Eliza? But he doesn’t … He might not be ready to admit it, even to himself, but only Charlotte can truly balance his boat.

However things don’t end up coming to a head until the tent scene. That’s because the last stage after releasing yourself from someone you used to be attached to is to see them for what they truly are. To discover the chink in their armor to quote Lady Susan. And boy, does Eliza wreck her freaking armor!

Did he realize how mean she actually is and how her behavior was inappropriate?

Of course he did. He actually realizes it much sonner than you’d think.

Eliza: There must be a boy in your village that’s caught your eye.

That’s not a happy face.

Also it’s very important to note that when Sidney says Charlotte would be happier reading a book, he doesn’t actually say that even though that’s what she understands. What he says is exactly this:

Sidney: I have no doubt Charlotte would rather be sat somewhere, quietly reading Heraclitus.

If he had said anything else, then it might be debatable whether or not he was making a joke at her expense but because he mentions Heraclitus in particular, this becomes his attempt at bonding with her, one outlier to another.

He doesn’t say anything reassuring either when he catches up with her. He only says he hopes she wasn’t she wasn’t offended by Mrs. Campion, and that it was all “in jest.” He clearly meant well, but that’s the worst thing to say to someone who is clearly hurt and upset by said “jest.” And he didn’t reassure her, which hurt as well. What do you think? 

I get how from Charlotte’s point of view she feels hurt by his lack of reassurance and by feeling like she’s a “source of amusement” for him. But you know …. Charlotte’s in the whole “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy …”phase. She’s not thinking all that clearly.

Sidney runs after her because he realizes she’s upset and tries to comfort her. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect him to understand why she’s upset. I’d argue most people have the source of her sadness wrong.

Eliza isn’t the first person to make jokes regarding Charlotte’s marriage prospects. Lady Denham did the same thing to her in episode 1 and 2. Only Lady Denham was far harsher and rudder about it. And Charlotte wasn’t the least bit upset. She responded in kind and, in Lady Denham’s own words, “couldn’t help but stand up for herself”.

She doesn’t do it with Eliza because what’s causing her pain isn’t the lame ass attempt at making jokes about her not finding a husband. What’s truly hurting her is that Sidney is revealing something personal to the two of them to this woman that, in Charlotte’s mind, has made it impossible for her to ever be with him. She feels exposed, vulnerable and insecure.

When Sidney runs after her, trying to comfort her, there’s truly only one thing Charlotte wants to hear:

Charlote: What is it you want from me?

That’s something Sidney can’t answer at that time. He can’t really formulate what he wants from her because he’s just coming out of the whole Eliza spell and is himself uncertain about what Charlotte may or may not be feeling for him.

However, as I said, at this point his words are less important than his actions and given the sequence of events, it’s pretty obvious that the tent scene is the last time he is actually in Eliza’s company until she seeks him out at the end of the episode. So he might not have found the words to reassure Charlotte but he made certain he taxed Eliza for hurting her.

And when Eliza finally does track him down, what’s the first thing he tells her?

Sidney: You know, you didn’t have to wait for me.

Well … color me swooning. What girl doesn’t dream of hearing that?

I truly wish they had given us this complete scene because I really wanted to see how he would resolve this chapter of his life but given that she says this:

Eliza: The truth is now that I have found you again, I can scarcely bring myself to let you out of my sight. (beat) You know I never lost hope that we would stand besides each other once more and here we are! Fate has gifted us a second chance.

And he looks like this:

I’m willing to bet Eliza’s minions wasted all of their handkerchiefs on her on the coach ride back to London.

Which leaves us with:

Sidney:  [Mrs. Campion] has already left. I decided against joining her. On reflection, I realized I would rather be here. I am a great deal less than perfect. You’ve made me all too aware of that. But, for whatever it’s worth, I believe I am my best self, my truest self, when I’m with you.

Sidney’s words finally match his actions. He chooses to go forward as the man he is now, wanting the woman that’s in front of him and not as the boy he used to be, chasing the dream of the girl that never was. Because …

A man cannot step into the same river twice. For he is not the same man and it is not the same river.

Thanks for the ask!

#sanditon #sanditon 2019 #sidney parker #charlotte x sidney #sidney x charlotte #sidlotte

[hargrove-mayfields]

A Stake of Holly in Her Heart Pt. 6

Pt. 1   Pt. 2   Pt. 3   Pt. 4   Pt. 5    

Back inside the house for the night, Max avoids her nightly routine, going straight to her room to hopefully avoid any punishment until the morning comes.

There’s something she really needs to do, so she waits and waits, watching the minutes tick by on her digital clock until the house quiets down and she can be sure Susan and Neil are asleep.

She perches on the end of her bed and just listens for the TV to shut off in the living room, for her mother to pad up the steps toward her room in her fuzzy slippers, and for every light switch in the house to click off. Once she’s sat in complete silence, she presses her ear to the door so she can decide if she’s in the clear.

There’s a writing desk in Billy’s room, along with the last of his furniture they haven’t put out to the curb yet, put there because, well, he wouldn’t be using the room anymore, and Susan thought the space should be utilized instead of just being a memoir to a dead boy, so it became an office of sorts. And that was where Max needed to be right now.

Making as little noise as possible, she tiptoes from room to room, gently shutting each door behind herself, her heart stopping when the lock clicks into place.

Before she takes another step into the room, she listens for a floorboard to creak, or a voice to shout at her to go back to sleep, but there’s nothing but the sound of thick snow gently hitting against the window pane.

The lamp clicks on on the desk so she can see what she’s doing as she carefully fishes through the drawers of the bureau until she’s found a sheet of paper, the only one she could reach without making too much noise is printed with a border of holly branches, a red ballpoint pen, an envelope, and a stamp.

Max sets it all out in front of herself and thinks long and hard. What she’s about to do leaves no room for making mistakes, because she’s going to write a response to Maria.

It takes a lot of workshopping, cutting out bits of information she would rather share in person and trying to make it as blunt as possible, but eventually she decides on this,

“Dear Ms. Hargrove,

I’m not sure if Billy ever told you about me, but I’m his stepsister, Max.

I got your card in the mail Christmas morning, and I’m sorry to tell you, but he didn’t get to read it.

Your son Billy died on the 4th of July.

Please, if you get this letter, come and see him. He’s in the cemetery on 101 Cedar Street, Hawkins, IN, plot 206 B under the ginkgo tree.

I’m sorry, Maxine Mayfield”

Max folds the paper as neatly as she can manage and seals it into the envelope, copying Maria’s address from the first letter onto the outside, and sticking the little stamp, a picture of a Christmas tree, to the corner.

Putting everything back and pulling the chain on the lamp, it’s like she was never even there.

But she must’ve gotten careless, must’ve been too caught up in the moment to remember to listen for footfalls because, when she opens the door again, she’s face to face with a disgruntled Susan.

Arms behind her back, Max slowly slides the envelope into her pocket before her mother can see it. “What are you doing in here?”

“I-I was just, uh, thinking about Billy again.” She lies through her teeth, bringing her arms up to hold the door frame so Susan wouldn’t notice she had something hidden behind her back. “Wanted to be in here for a while, I guess.”

Susan frowns and rubs her eyes. “You know you’re not supposed to be up this late.”

“Yeah, I know, I just, couldn’t sleep.” She shrugs and offers a tired smile, hoping that’ll help her case.

“Well next time, just try to stay in bed.” Susan’s tired, a little tipsy, and generally unhappy with Max, and it shows in her tone, but she’s too tired for reprimanding, so she makes an attempt at advice, saying, “It doesn’t do you any good to dwell on it.”

“Won’t happen again.” The answer must be acceptable because, shaking her head at her daughter, Susan finally retreats. For extra points, Max calls after her, “Goodnight, mom.”

Max stands in the doorway waiting for Susan to start climbing the steps again, then, once she’s absolutely positive her mother’s no longer paying her any mind, she returns to her own bedroom.

The envelope finds itself in a hiding place under her mattress until she can mail it in the morning, just in case of snooping parents, and for the first time in a long while, Max gets a good night's sleep, the events of that day easing her off to dream.

It’s the feeling of hope, of having found a friend and having done the right thing that sends her off into a restful sleep like she hasn’t had in forever, her guilt no longer plaguing her in reality or in dreamland, and her grief soothed.

By sunrise the next day, she’s already up on her feet, dressed and ready to go before her parents are even awake.

She leaves a note taped to the refrigerator door explaining her absence, lying about going to help Mrs. Byers with something she had mentioned at last night’s party, and hurries out the door, letter in her pocket, before anyone can stop her.

But, as the hinges on the front door squeak, she steps out onto the front porch, hearing Neil’s gruff voice behind her before she can close it. “Where’re you going?”

“Mrs Byers. She, um, w-wanted me to come over and help El with uh, packing.” It sounded great on paper, but out loud it sounds exactly like a lie if she’s ever heard one. Neil doesn’t look upset though, so she decides to keep going. “They leave for Chicago soon.”

Neil nods, a look of complete disinterest on his face, and says “Tell her she can keep you if she wants to keep having you over there all the damn time.”

Then he turns away grumbling, and slams and locks the door in his step-daughters face.

Her first winter around snow and ice, something that never lasted long enough back in Cali to be a problem, she’d learned the hard way that her board didn’t work so well on the salt covered sidewalks, so she has to get to the post office without wheels.

She realizes though, that the walking route, unless she wanted to add an extra half hour or so to the trip, meant going right past the Sinclair’s house. Halfway down the sidewalk, when she sees Lucas' little sister outside, she knows that, after the luck she’s been having, she’s not getting off easy.

Erica is all bundled up in layers of coats and sweatpants, sitting in a pile of snow in the front yard, and rolling out a collection of very tightly packed snowballs when she looks up and meets Max’s eyes. Turning her head back towards the window, Erica shouts to her brother, “Hey nerd, your girlfriend is here!”

Before Max can even correct her or try to explain to her that she was just passing through the neighborhood and it was no big deal, the front door is being yanked open, and Lucas comes skidding down the sidewalk towards her.

He’s out of breath when he gets to her on the sidewalk, having run from somewhere in his house, and his voice is laden with concern. “Max! Where were you?”

“I was just busy. My parents said I couldn’t come.” She explains.

“We assumed the worst when you and Steve didn’t show.” He's bent over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “Why weren’t you on the line all night?”

Max shrugs, “Like I said, busy.”

He eyes her suspiciously, obviously trying to find some secret meaning to her words. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, they just took me out for Christmas dinner.” She appreciates the concern, she really does, but she gives him a look anyhow. “You know not everything has to be the end of the world, right?”

“Yeah, right, ‘course.” He agrees, still sounding unsure, then doubles back on it. “You’re positive you’re alright?”

Giggling at how excessive he is, Max rolls her eyes, though not really out of annoyance, and affirms, “Yes, Lucas.”

“Okay.” There’s still more he wants to ask about yesterday, she can tell, but he gives it up, choosing instead to ask, “Where are you headed, then?”

“The post office. I have a thank you card for my grandma I'm supposed to send.” She lies again, but it doesn’t feel the same as when she lied to Neil and Susan or Aunt Nicole, where she was trying to hide how she felt, trying to be someone she wasn’t. This is more like she’s just trying to protect her personal life, and she thinks that’s fair enough.

Lucas flashes her his most charming smile. “Mind if I join you?”

There’s no way she’s going to actually turn down the offer, but she pretends, turning her nose up and saying, “I don’t know. Don’t think I really want you slowing me down.”

“You just don’t want all of this,” Lucas motions to himself with a goofy grin, “to make you look bad.”

She puts a mock sympathetic hand on his shoulder, and says, “Keep telling yourself that, dweeb.” but there’s a wide smile on her face as she says it, even after Erica tells them to get a room and throws a handful of her snowballs at them.

The rest of the walk into town is only a few minutes from that point if they take the shortcut behind the neighborhood, so Max isn’t all that worried about Lucas tagging along.

Mostly though, it’s because, unless he miraculously overcame his hangover and decided to search the treeline with a pair of binoculars, there was pretty much no way Neil was going to see them together, and they were out early enough that any of the nib-nose neighbors who might’ve snitched on them weren’t even awake yet.

Besides, even if Neil was one hundred percent guaranteed to catch her, she feels in a good enough mood that she doesn’t know that she’d care.

Outside of the post office, as she opens the mail slot and lets the letter fall into the collection box, she can tell Lucas catches a glimpse of the name on the envelope just by the sudden frown on his face, the worry in his eyes as he looks over to again her.

But Max, she isn’t bothered by it. She’ll tell him later what’s going on with her and Maria, once the whole thing is over. She thinks she owes it to herself to be a little more abrasive, to not just let everyone in on every last detail of her life so they can make her decisions for her.

So she doesn’t bring it up, just smiles at him and takes his hand, and lets him walk her back home.

After that morning she checks the mailbox constantly to make sure nobody else would find any letters from Maria before she did. Lord only knows what Neil would do if he found out she’d been in contact with his ex-wife.

Day one, all she finds is an issue of the beauty magazine Susan has a subscribed to, a notice for a late water bill, and a day old Christmas card from Uncle Don down in Texas.

The next day is more disappointing, nothing inside the mailbox but spam and a grocery store catalog.

There’s no mail service on Sundays, so she spends the whole of the third day fretting, wondering if her letter her made it, and if she should try to send another.

On the fourth day, there’s finally a letter in the mailbox addressed to Maxine Mayfield. Her heart stutters as she slides the stark white envelope out and gently tears it open.

It simply reads,

“To Billy’s sister, I’m on my way.”

Read also on ao3!

#max mayfield #billy hargrove #lucas sinclair #ej writer #story by EJ! #update it’s definitely not getting done today! #but I think that’s alright for the grand finale #it’s a longer one anyways